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#oh no another shrek reference

carica-ficus · 5 months

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"Gideon the Ninth"

07/12/2023

Reading progress: 443/443 (100%)

Read through since last update: 167

So... It seems I'm at the last reading update... I actually didn't plan to cram so much into one post, but I got really into reading for a day or two, and then managed to get to the last 50ish pages and said fuck it. I'm not gonna say much except that I didn't expect for it to be that bloody, then at the end got so used to it that I had no other choice to just close the book and think to myself "Well. This happened." I will be writing a concise review as I do with each book I read, but I'm just gonna say I loved it very much. (This is, of course, a big understatement, but yeah... I'll gush about it in my review.) SPOILER WARNING! (Like always.)

Without further ado, my thoughts:

I might have been unbothered by the first two deaths, but I sure as hell am not ok after the end of Act 3. Was all that really necessary?? 😭😭

Yooo that scene when Gideon forces Harrow to siphon from her again is??? Hhhhhh... Made me feel a few things. Here's a graphic rendition:

I'm glad Harrow is banning Gideon from seeing Dulcinea. And the thing she mentions about the keys - she's right, it really doesn't make sense. It stuck out to me before, but I just forgot to comment on it. In any case, it's extremely suspicious. Protesilaus is also probably missing because of a distinct reason, related to his adept. Wouldn't be surprised if the Seventh is the one going around killing people.

Of course Silas turned out to be a little weasel. But at least Colum has some dignity.

Oh yeah, Corona is definitely not a necromancer.

Ok, but why am I not surprised that Harrow is the one who had her fingers in Protesilaus's disappearance? Honestly, she's the second most suspicious person in the mansion, but I love her, so I don't care.

HELLOOOOOOOO???? HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO????

First plot twist I have not expected. At all. I'm shooketh, as one might say.

Aww man. False alarm. >:( (This was about Gideon't claim that she murdered Harrow's parents.)

Oooh, but the big revelation was good! It was just a matter of time, so my reaction was more like "Ah! Finally!", than :O (Future me talking here: I'm not entirely sure what this is referring to? I'd guess it was about the Locked Tomb.)

Not Dulcinea doing the King Harold from Shrek dying scene 💀

"I had reason to believe," said Harrow, "that you would trust her more than you trusted me."

"You are my only friend. I am undone without you "

Stuff just kept happening and people just kept dying. Didn't even get the chance to write it all out, and another one was on the floor. Anyway... WHAT THE FUCK.

Honestly, I thought stuff would get all tangled up and I would lose my footing, as I heard most people do. (Or will, in the next book.) So I'm just glad I could follow along quite nicely. It all made sense in the end, even the stuff about Dulcinea. I wasn't too surprised she's the culprit, I'm just surprised how she's the culprit.

PALAMEDES!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!

"I can't conceive of a universe without you in it." Again, Muir going straight for the jugular. I know she likes to kill off her characters, but she doesn't need to kill of her readers as well.

Ok, you know what. I knew there would be no happy ending. We all knew Harrow couldn't become Lyctor without Gideon dying. So, I am not surprised it happened. But I am also NOT OKAY.

Man, I love Harrow. I love her in the epilogue. I love her in the last chapter. I love how much she cares, how much she always cared. And I love how her relationship with Gideon evolved over time. Ugh. Uuughhh!

Ok, yeah... This was an experience. I'll be ordering Harrow soon and.... Yeah. I'm (not) prepared for more heartbreak.

#reading #reading journal #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #locked tomb #gtn spoilers #dnevnik citanja #dnevnik čitanja

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1800-page-not-found · 11 months

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Blade's actual story (honkai star rail/stelleron hunters x reader)

oh my god you guys kafka is so hot id let her run me over with a semi truck but actually not because i dont like pain

implied kafka x reader

I wrote this for what reason

its absolute chaos, read at your own risk

contains swearing

what am i doing with my life

i want to apologize before you read this

"Do you ever have the urge to dropkick a child?" You wondered out loud as you rest your head on kafka's shoulder. "Y-" But before kafka could say any more, blade butt in. "Everyday."

You sat up straight and stared at him. "I wasn't fucking talking to you, you piece of shit we should've just left you there at the Xianzhou Luofu." You moved to strangle him before Kafka turned you around and caught you in a superb romantic position. "You shouldn't go after that man child, put all your focus on me, won't you?"

"Do we kiss now?" you speak, slowly inching you way to kafka's scrumptious lips. She giggled and leaned to kiss you.

Blade, shocked that his mother would kiss that atrocity (he's referring to you)-oh my gosh are you going to be his new step mother? You started to laugh evily and throw balls of fire at him. (This was a figment of his imagination, this did not happen in real life.) Oh no, you're going to be an evil step mom! (only to blade ofc)

Out of the pure shock and terror, blade started to foam in the mouth and dropped dead like the rat he is. You went to check up on him because you didnt want to clean up another dead body. "He's not going to die unfortunately because he's immortal" you said.

"Oh really? I thought he would turn into a fair-" suddenly kafka's words were cut off (again) as blade started to grow cute pink wings and become your fairy godmother. Instead however, when he woke up, he started to throw his cute fairy wand that was pink and covered in glitter at people he was supposed to grant wishes to causing him to get fired by the fairy godmother association. This caused him to turn into shrek.

Kafka, actually terrified for once in her life pulled out her guns and shot at her own son, well what do you even call it now? idk either. anyway she started shooting but shrek-blade was bullet proof! it grabbed you by the hair and pulled so hard it made you bald. Kafka screamed in terror seeing your naked head and started to turn into a disney princess. You on the other hand turned into whats his face the villain in smurfs with the bald spot dude but more gorgeous and feminine/masculine. You became evil and ruled the world along side your wife who was now a disney princess but it turns out she was cheating on you with prince charming and so she ran away with him and lived happily ever after, but you, super heart broken, sang with shrek and finally turned into the donkey and ate shrek (you killed him)

the end youre welcome

p.s. silver wolf saw the whole thing but after a second, she thought it would be cool to hack another jet but when she got on it it blew up and well everyone died including her so

dont play with fire-literally.

#i need mental help #i should be put in a psych ward #im sorry for this abomination #kafka x reader #blade x reader #honkai star rail x reader #i have nothing to do #no motivation no life no what goes next? idk #silver wolf x reader

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yuliyaana · 1 year

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— THE ANIMATION AND ARTSTYLE USED FOR THE VISUALS

The amazing use of both 2D and 3D elements mixes perfectly with the animation and the art style and it really reminds me of the animation of Into the Spider-Verse. Everything’s an eye candy and wallpaper-worthy. The vibrant colors and the lighting?? The visuals and the background art, they're just so GORGEOUS! Like you can see those little paint brush strokes on some parts of the film. You know the movie’s gonna be good when they apply this kind of style. This movie is an absolute masterpiece. *chef’s kiss*

— THE WORLD BUILDING

OKAAAAY I WILL NEVER GET OVER WITH THE WORLD BUILDING ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY WENT TO THE DARK FOREST— it’s just so hilarious when Puss and Kitty got depressing and dangerous path/terrains while Perrito got the easiest path because he’s a carefree and cheerful pure-hearted therapy dog who sees the positivity in life (despite his sad “funny story” like he said) and it really shows that whoever possesses the Star Map judges the character of those who holds it.

— CHARACTER DESIGN

Can we talk about Goldilocks’ character design? I really, really love how they designed her— like every details of her design reflects the way she got raised by her bear family. You see those mismatched earrings? They resemble Mama Bears different earrings. Her necklaces? Baby Bear also got a chain necklace. And the faint scar she got on her left eyebrow later on? Now it resembles Papa Bear’s scar on his left eye. Okay I love this her golden blonde hair so much. It really fits her name ESPECIALLY her two huge buns resemble like bear ears! Her outfit got dirtied in the dark forest making it look brown, like her family's brown fur plus she got those little fangs omg. She's so cute but she can also kill you. TvT

Jack Horner, okay this chaotic huge man got pink hair and chubby cheeks. He’s got the perks alright? Hear me out, his pink tie resembles an icing piping cream pastry and he got those small printed pies on his purple vest. He BIG.

And finally, this big bad lobo himself and his name is DEATH, like literally. He’s the Grim Reaper of Shrek Universe. His design freaking SLAPS! Oh man, this brooding wolf deadass got the hardest drip for me ngl. The black poncho fits him perfectly for a grim reaper like him. The fact that his eyes always stand out making him look even more intimidating and menacing. We all know that the universal look of Grim Reaper is a skeleton in a long black cloak with his scythe while DreamWorks made Death as a wolf with his signature dual-sickles (likely as a reference for Grim Reaper’s Scythe), for me it’s an interesting detail because his main target was Puss in Boots coming to punish him for recklessly wasting away his past eight lives mainly because he’s a cat, and wolves are known for being a natural predator. Not to mention, he was always there whenever Puss dies. He was so patient enough to finally get to his prey. Another interesting detail of him is the dark part of his fur in his face, donning a skull-like shape because he’s literally the Grim Reaper. Overall, he’s 12/10 for me and my most favorite antagonist so far.

— THE LESSONS BEHIND PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH

Sometimes whenever we wish for something that we want, we didn’t realize that thing we were wishing for was already there all along.

Puss himself already learnt his lesson to value his remaining ninth life at the end of the movie because every ounce of moment in our lives are precious and we need to appreciate them fully. We will never know when our time comes. As Perrito said to Puss, having one life in enough.

Sacrificing your personal needs to save someone you truly love and care about. Like how Goldilocks ditched the Wishing Map when she was one way of granting her wish and instead, she helped saving Baby from disappearing to the Star Wall.

...and they lived happily ever after.

#puss in boots the last wish #puss in boots 2 #puss in boots #puss in boots kitty softpaws #puss in boots perrito #puss in boots puss #puss in boots spoilers #puss in boots goldilocks #puss in boots jack horner #puss in boots death #the last wish #death wolf

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gaslysgirl · 1 year

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hi love!! crystal dennis anon here! i had another dream... but this time it was me and dennis and we were making a gingerbread house but he kept knocking it over/making it fall apart because his hands were too big😵‍💫😵‍💫

just wanted to share!! 🥹🫶🏼

STOPPP that’s cute

“Okay, now this side of the house,” you say, Dennis holding the ‘wall’ of the gingerbread house that is made of cookie. Dennis watches you as you spread the cream over the side of the other walls, and then you step aside to let him put the other part in between. He’s careful to not destroy your little creation, but his hand is too big for the little house, and it causes the other wall to fall again. “I’m sorry, baby,” he says. “It’s alright,” you smile. “Let me,” you take the cookie from him, and he watches you again as you delicately put the parts together, nimble fingers easily moving away from the house again.

“Do you want to try the roof?” You asked, and he nodded, trying a last time. He nearly broke the cookie, and he just couldn’t make the same, gentle movements as your hands could, and it caused the house to fall apart. “Oh, no,” he groaned, looking at the collapsed walls. He expected you to be disappointed, but he was then surprised by the smear of cream on his cheek. “What are you doing?” Dennis asked, moving his thumb over it to taste it, doing the same with you. You giggled, reaching for the whipped cream to attack him with it, but he was faster than you were, locking you in his embrace.

His fingers poked at your sides, making you laugh as he tickled you. Eventually he stopped it, looking over at the collapsed gingerbread house. “You made Gingie homeless, you know?” You comment, referring to the cookie from Shrek. “Didn’t do it on purpose,” Dennis grins, reaching for a part of the house to break it and feed it to you. “I still liked it,” he smiled, moving some crumbs away from your mouth and pressing a kiss to your lips.

#dh

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neutrallyobsessed · 3 months

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EPISODE 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MEETING WITH THE PARENTS LIKE IN SHREK 2 (?

Haven't said this before but the narrator still strong and hella funny~~

Ahahahah yeahh asian people and their cameras, a classic- AY HOLA CLEO! :V

hell yeah scams~~!

talking points, just like me right now!

Ok but what if I shipped Frida's foster dad with Cleo's foster-mom?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

they really are big fans of abandoment issues ey? lmaoo

GANDHIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OGGGGGHGHGHGHHHH THIS IS BETTER THAN FAKE DATING! FAKE PARENTING!!! This is sooo joanabe- oh btw could caitlyn be here too? with YKNOW

OH MOTHERFU- JSJSKJSKSJKSJSJSKSJ he really did!!

WAIT what if Frida's foster dad it's like- an Afterschool Charisma reference? cause he's like "this school is not good for my daughter!" amd Scudworth could be like "well its not like there's ANOTHER highschool for clones of historical figures!" and then he's like "There is another" and it's like WHAAAAA :000

FUCK YEAH

wait so Harriet won't have a podcast where she talks about assassinated historical figures and gets the feds call on her ass? bummer :///

Moralistic? Ew Lmaoo

MAKEUNDER??? LIKE MAKEOVER BUT UNDER??? WILL IT HAVE A SONG?????

OH SO NOW YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING FUNNY WITH JOANFK ITS KINDA A BIT TOO LATE FOR THAT YKNOW!!!!

home alone

have you noticed that Confucius is face fronting like a lot of times? thats kinda wack yo

♫MAKEUNDER MAKEUNDER MAKEUNDER MAKEUNDER MAKEUNDER MAKEUNDER!♫

HM- ok, spilling the milk is gonna love that part-

Noooooo that was so meannnnn!! i love that of course heheh >:3

c'mon! and them long speeches by Abe are back!! they're so funny actually, very few people can actually manage that type of long jokes but he does it flawlessly~~

AHAHAHAH GET WRECKED YOU GOT BLUE HAIR AND PRONOUNS! but could Confucius' "parents" give Scudworth a fuck ton of money and make Cloney Island real?? :0000!

hey this is an excellent subversion of the "cant see through a paper thin disguise" trope, if the other person is just seeing them like this lolol

UUUUUUHHHHHH KAHLOPATRA HAVING TROUBLLEEEEE

Aww and Joanabe solve their issues- OH SHIT THEY'RE HERE!

Aww and Kahlop- KAHLO IS FUCKING LYING!!! OH MAN OH FUUUCK YEAHHHHHH DRAMAAAAAAAAnd the thing with Harriet is also over... bummer ://////

Rating: CLONEY ISLAND IS GOING TO BE REAL/10!

Topher Bus isn't in this episode y ME ESTAN DANDO LOS SINDROMES OTRA VEEEEEZZZZZZZZZÑÑÑÑÑÑÑÑÑÑÑÑ

#clone high #liveblogging #clone high season 3

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camodielsart · 11 months

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What’s your favourite part of a story like … character development, references, art, morals/ethics, ideology, hierarchy’s, non-stereotypical characters and such? Like Casino Cups Mugman so-so becoming a power hungry figure for immortality. Gotta admit, I wasn’t really expecting that one given the stereotype people label him from the original game! Srry if this is too long I’m just geeking out so much!

Oh man what is my favorite part of a story? That’s a tough one, ngl. I think i gotta say character development. I just really like stories that tend to be mainly character based. Seeing the cast change as the story goes on. Seeing relationships build and break is just fascinating and really fun to write. I’m also a sucker for a good redemption arc. Like with Zuko from ATLA, it was just so good and definitely inspired how i write those types of characters.

Also the underlying message or ideology is probably the better word to use. I’m not sure what to call it tbh but we’ll go with ideology. That’s another fave of mine. Especially if its done in a symbolic way and not done in an obvious way. Like with in the Babadook. How i saw the movie, (and spoiler if you haven’t seen it) the Babadook is an analogy to the mother’s stress/mental illness (im not sure if it was supposed to be anything in particular. It has been awhile since I’ve seen it but yeah). At the end of the movie, she finds a way to control it and conquer it. But it’s still there just like how many ppl with mental illness will always have it but there is a way they can take back control over it. A lot of horror movies uses monsters as a stand in for an idea/construct. And that’s probably why i like them a lot. The same thing applies with animated movies. Complicated ideas being broken down into symbolism to get the ideology across is just clever ways is just so fun to watch. An example is in Encanto, (spoiler warning) Casita breaking after the last argument between Mirabel and Abuela was the physical representation of the family falling apart. Stuff like that is just cool to me haha

And ah yes, breaking the stereo types. Yeah that’s a fave, too. Making the audience think that it’s gonna go one way and then bam, nope, this ain’t gonna go that way! Not this way! Shrek is a great example of this cuz 1. Fiona isn’t just some damsel in distress. 2. Shrek isn’t just some scary ogre, he’s a genuine guy that’s fine with just how he is. And 3. It put the whole fairy tale on it’s head while making fun of how outrageous the traditional stories are.

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tourdion · 1 year

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what do you like about leonard cohen? basically all i know about him is that he is (was?) a singer-songwriter who wrote for example famous blue raincoat. had dark eyes. think he was a jew but could be wrong. anyway, what's special about him to you? really wanna hear:)

well well well well... you definitely came to the right spot... or maybe the wrong spot if its too overwhelming to properly describe & it is 2am but well.... first essential key context is there was a time in my life where with absolutely 0 exaggeration at least 90% of the music i was listening to (often actually a lot higher then this) was leonard cohen like my question every day wasnt hmmm who do i want to listen to 🤔 but specifically which leonard cohen albums do i feel like listening to & with every single one of his albums i had some extended phase where i was completely obsessed with it for a while & i do deeply love every single one & listened to 1000 hours of leonard cohen one year... actually i even have a screenshot of one of those timewhizzs websites with a bar chart for that year demonstrating the extent of my insanity ill try to find it.....

so this is just the preface..... also i just realised im literally wearing a leonard cohen t shirt rn 😇

i think i have to say the one thing that i find really special about him is his depth.. sounds like such a generic way to describe poetry and music but i mean it in a lot of ways... first that in every single line has been created with so much intention and contains so much meaning.. one example of this is in the song take this waltz (which may be my favourite song ever) which is a translation & adaption of a lorca poem which includes a line leonard cohen added himself "theres a bar where the boys have stopped talking theyve been sentenced to death by the blues" which refers to a time that lorca met up with hart crane with a mutual friend translating for them who eventually left as they came to a gay bar bc he was straight so they could no longer communicate & eventually lorca was killed by spanish fascists who wore blue uniforms & hart crane killed himself like there is a whole story in just these two lines and multiple meanings within this as well

i remember when i first got extremely intensely insanely obsessed with him after you know only being casually obsessed for a few years it was via this song and i didnt even know the story behind this line yet but actually even then it already was my favourite.. but i remember thinking how there was so much intricacy in each of the worlds in these songs i specifically remember thinking that i wished i could just live in his music for a while (then proceeded to do exactly that for the next year 🤓)

another thing is there have been so many cases with so many of his songs that i have just listened to that one song on repeat for days and unlike so many other people his music never ever gets boring after this and actually just gets better as you gain a deeper understanding

another song that i find really fascinating is obviously famous blue raincoat but the thing that really fascinates me is it is really actually so vague but the story it creates for people is often very vivid or at least obvious seeming... so many articles/reviews/quiz answers/people ive interrogated over the years have had so many insanely different interpretations & while sometimes people maybe less secure in their answers like oh i havent listened that much i might be wrong etc the basic premise of the song is mostly just assumed to be as they think & its the details that are less clear but these "basic premises" are always so different & this is what i love!!!!

lets end with a tale from my childhood... so i was a very out of touch child who hadnt watched shrek or the x factor so the first time i heard hallelujah was in my school choir & to make sure we remembered songs properly we werent allowed to read words to songs and i remember being so stunned by the beauty of the words when the choir teacher read those lines to us...

also realising i havent really touched upon my deepest love for him even at all yet but i was frantically drawing diagrams between his songs and constantly having to add more details because there is always just so much there in all his writing.. so my main obsession is his religious/romantic ambiguity & from his very first novel to his last albums he released in his 80s there are still common themes & its just all so insane

so this is a picture of my diagrams i could find quickly on my phone but its very likely that more couldve been added since......

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thisismeracing · 1 month

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Go shawty | MS47

―Pairing: Mick Schumacher x fem!reader ―Warnings: curse words, a few dirty jokes, and typos; ―Summary: Every year Yn gets Mick a unique birthday cake. This year she's ready to surprise the internet and her boyfriend again. (bday boy special)

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yourusername

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yourusername birthday boyyy ❤️

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jackdoohan not the song reference 😂

mickschumacher thank you for giving me the best gift ever ❤️

⤷ yourusername birthday sex?

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⤷ arthur_leclerc you guys remember that this us a public account and youre public people, right?! 😭

formulafan 😍😍

iganon can’t wait for the ferrari photoshoot!

yoursername

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yourusername the past few months were Shrek-obsessed months so in honor of that the bday cake this year is Shrek-themed lol happy birthday, love! ily! 💚

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mickschumacher you’re my fav oger

mickschumacher I love you!

mickschumacher I’m kidding, you’re my beauty queen, my princess 😘

⤷ estebanocon is that you typing? blink if you need help

⤷ yourusername haha you guys are so funny 🙄

ginaschumacher not the Shrek cake Yn wtf 😂😂😭😭😭

schumirrari baby angieeee

charles_leclerc happy birthday, mate! 🥳

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yourusername happy twenty-two, love. I'm glad you made it just in time!

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raintyres16 she's so unserious LOL

⤷ haaschumacher ikr!!! I was just scrooling through her bday posts

pierregasly LOL happy birthday, mick!

mickschumacher omg Liebling 🤣

mickschumacher I love you so so much, thank you for sharing yet another year with me ❤️

sebclerc I want what they have 😭

interlagosgp I love how she��s not afraid of being funny and open with the public

hammert1m3 another March 22nd another field day for schumacher’s pr team LMAO

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yourusername it's actually bigger, but I couldn't let the joke slide hehe 😇🩵

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mickschumacher brb on my way to train harder

⤷ yourusername you can train as hard as you want, my love will always be bigger 💋

⤷ mickschumacher cute, but its a lie, my love is bigger ❤️

ginaschumacher how can you guys be funny and cute at the same time but also a pain in the ass?

⤷ yourusername you can just say I’m your fav 😌

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lewisbrasileiro she’s my fav wag ever

midnighttracks no but the second pic was def a video and now I wanna watch it 🥹🥹

fan4447 even seb liked it bruh hahaha

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yourusername no comments! 😁🤭🩷 I love you, birthday boy!

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mickcedes not the sidewalk drawing 😭😭😭😭

landonorris mick.jpg when?

⤷ piastripastry do you wanna give their pr even more work?

⤷ yourusername thats actually a good idea!!!

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mickschumacher how are you so creative? I love your mind

mickschumacher and your smile, your body, your voice…

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fortysevenfiftyfive great now I want my gf to bake me special cakes every bday 😤

yourusername

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yourusername can you imagine 😁 (it's just a joke, guys, again I couldn't let it slide, and before y'all freak out: no, I'm not preggo nor do we plan on getting any time soon) 🖤

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mickschumacher you love stirrinf the pot huh

mickschumacher I love you

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lance_stroll no bday wishes will ever beat yn’s

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legobatjoker · 1 year

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non lyle ask (bc my blog has been de-lylified <//3)but like. okay theres a lot a to expain here but okay first point ik some poeple know the games 20 questions as a game where you just ask the person ur playing with 20 questions abt them so incase tht is u i am refering to 20 questions as in a game where one person thinks of an object/person/character and the other players ask 20 yes or no questions abt what theyre thinking of then guess what it is theyre thinking of but the thing abt me(+my sibling+my cousin) is that despite always calling it 20 questions we never like, limit the amnt of questions to 20 we just ask the person questions until we guess the right answer and basically since my cousin has been facetiming me nd my sibling a lot lately weve also been playing 20 questions a lot on ft and basically we all facetimed today we talked for a bit etc then my sibling had to leave to do smth (the call was like. in our groupchat so like they cld leave and join again rly easily etc) so i decided to play 20 questions w my cousin and we play for a while nd have fun etc but after a while i was like "yk what im going to think of puss in boots even though they havent seen the movie i talk abt him a lot so they shld b able to get it easily" and like. they asked like standard questions but they like. were not getting it like i tihnk they got tht it was a male animated character from a movie but when they asked if the movie was on netflix it got kinda cofnusing bc like the last wish isnt on netflix isnt on netflix but the first puss in boots and two shrek movies hes in (for some reason netflix uk only has the last two shrek films like shrek 1+2 arent on there but shrek 3+4 are ??? so thts weird) so i was like some of the movies hes in are not netflix but not all of them and they got rly cought up on that (in hindsight i shld have probably said to ignore tht aspect but i did not think tht in the moment ig) and also like another thing. the iconic "becuase singing killed my grandma" scene from trolls has become somewhat of an inside joke with us bc its fucking insane and hilarious and like a few times when playing 20 questions together one of us will jokingly be like "oh did singing kill their grandma?" etc and like my cousin started asking like oh did singing kill his grandma did he break his neck tapdancing once (bc of the guys who says my uncle broke his neck tapdancing once during that scene literally would say the most insane movie scene ever but weve been lyle lyle posting all day) and like haha v funny (it actually was p funny the bit has not gotten old yet) i kept being like no and i almost was like "he has never died while singing or dancing" but then i remembered his eighth death was right before he was abt to sing a song so didnt say that but i did say "he did not break his neck while tapdancing once!" and apparently i put an emphasis on the word once becuase my cousin started being like did he break his neck tapdancing twice did he break his next tapdancing three times and at once point i was just like "he has never broken his neck tapdancing!" so then they were like " did he break his neck singing once" and i was like "he has not *broken his neck* while singing" b he did die right before singing like i said and then my sibling rejoined the call and we explained what was going on to them we were playing 20 questions my cousin said they new it was a male character from an animated movie and i said "[cousin name] is asking if he specifically broke his neck while singing once so i have to say no" and then my sibling was like "oh its puss in boots" which is just. the most incredible thingg that my sibling got it from me just saying that but it took my cousin so long and then i explained tht puss' eighth death happened before he was going to sing a song but then he got crushed by a bell and said that he died "ernesto de la cruz style" but my cousin was still like " didnt that happen to that one guy in coco? hector- no it was ernesto" but anyway. very funny story from today i think love and light <3

AISHRIEHDJSJ I LOVEEEE UR SIBLING JOINING AND IMMEDIATELY GETTING IT SOO MUCHHHHH….. also literally when it happened alll i could think was ernesto de la cruz style like!!!!! thats what it issss😭

#ty for sharing v incrediblee #mewtuals #castle.answers

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childofdeafmusic · 2 years

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humans are.... kinda gory.

okay. so this just kinda occurred to me.

bear with me on this.

in the scene from the movie Shrek, lord farquad is torturing gingy. (a small, talking, sentient gingerbread cookie in the shape of a man)

and its seen as funny. to the point where we can all quote, and play it out, in the voices.

but its a kids movie.

can you imagine explaining people playing that scene out, to a group of beings from another planet?

alien: what are they doing? that group of Terrans over there.

human: oh, they're doing a scene from a movie. an entertainment disc

alien: what is the disc, and what is the scene about?

human: oh, it's a kids' movie. called Shrek. they're reciting the part where gingy gets his legs torn off, gumdrop button threatened, right after he's been water-boarded with a glass of milk. and he's being questioned for the location of the other people like him.

alien: what.

human: yeah, he decides to "talk" and ultimately screws with the guy questioning him. using a nursery rhyme.

alien: no, no, reverse. you mean to tell me, that a scene of torture. is in a entertainment disc, for children. and you don't see anything wrong with that? And it's deemed humorous?!

human: if you phrase it like that, sure. but well, its seen as comedy. like a parody and satire all at once. its got lots of references to fairy tales, nursery rhymes, folklore, and magic.

alien: i repeat the question.

human: you do realize that the original fairy tales in question are actually a lot worse? they've been watered down, so this is tame. also the stories of the fair folk? yeesh.

alien: no wonder you're all so capable of being violent. its instilled in you from a young age.

#humans are space australians #humans are space oddities #humans are weird #humans are space fae #star trek #can you IMAGINE the klingons?!#the cardassians might respect that tho #vulcans would be horrified #romulans could be either way

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writing-fanics · 2 years

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Hi, can you do a battinson oneshot where the reader is the daughter of the biggest mafia group who acts like Harley or Selina because she loves it when there's an actions going on. And then one night, when a group of men attempted to kill her, battinson came but when he did, dead men are on the floor, while she just sit there in the couch, looking outside through the window, sipping a glass of wine. The moment he stepped his foot in her room, she stood up and turned around, only in her lingerie and it turned into something smutty.

So, that's it. I am waiting for this. I love you already <3

Can I just say I love you and this request! Also I wrote this while watching Shrek so I’m adding a reference to it in this as well. Not making it a complete smut but obviously it’ll be hinted at 😉

also here’s my awful attempt at making the reader like Harley. I feel like I got close tho since I love Harley Quinn with a hint of Selina. I also added more to the story. I hope you enjoyed!

.warning: Also hinted past relationship: slight nsfw : I felt the sexual tension

“Hiya boys!” (Y/n) exclaimed, smiling at the group of men in front of her apartment. They looked at her curiously as if she had a death wish, seeing that she’s the daughter of one of Gotham’s Mafia groups.

She practically had a target on her back. Wherever she went. She might look innocent. But inside she’s as crazy as can be, “Where you think your goin?!” One of the men shouted, grabbing her by the wrist.

“Oh, did I do something wrong boys?” She asked, looking at them with fake fear. He grinned leaning closer, “You’re the daughter of one of Gotham’s biggest mafia group.” He whispered, into her ear.

“People pay a pretty penny for that head of yours served on a platter.” He said, and she scoffed.

“Really, you know it’s been my dream to be famous!” She grinned, looking up at him. And he backed away, “Jesus, your fucking insane!” He spat, and she frowned.

“Oh,” she sniffles, as she began to fake cry. “Now ya’ hurt my feelings.” She whimpered, looking up at the men. Her watch then started beeping, “Oh, would you look at that I’ve got things to do cya!” She grinned, wiping away the fake tears, walking inside her apartment.

The group of men look at each other in shock, “Jesus, what a nutcase!” One of them spat. “Who cares, we’re gonna kill her anyway.” One of them mumbled, looking up at the apartment. “Yeah, let’s go.” The other said.

The men then broke inside her apartment. “Oh, boys now-!” She groaned, as she was knocked on the ground by one of them.

“Come on make it quick, before the-”

“Don’t say his name!” The man shouted, looking at the younger thug. The man held the knife in his hand, “Really, a knife?” She groaned in annoyance, her head hitting her wood floors.

“Hmm, I wonder when the Bats’ll get here?” She mumbled, and then grunted in pain as one of the thugs kicked her in the head.

“That’s not nice mr~.” She giggled. The man clenched the knife firmly in his hand, “Shut up! You fucking psycho why aren’t you scared?!” He shouted, and she smiled as she tilted her head.

‘I ain’t got nobody.’

‘Nobody cares for me.’

She sang, and got another kick to the stomach. “You’re a fucking nutcase!” He shouted, grabbing her forcefully by the hair. “Why thank you?” She smiled, and he punched her in the face.

She chuckled, ‘I’m so sadly and lonely.’

“Just kill her already!” One of them shouted. Just then she headbutt’s the guy in front of her, swiftly grabbing the knife and stabbing him in the chest, his group of men watch in horror as she finishes him off by slitting his throat.

She stands to her feet and turns around, “Who’s next?” She grinned, as she lunged at the other men killing each and everyone one of them.”Yahtzee!” She shouted, as she killed the final one.

Blood dripped from her hair, and she looked at her couch noticing the bloodstain. “Shit, I just bought that couch.” She groaned in annoyance, she sighed. And took a shower.

(Y/n) hummed to herself as she through her clothes into the washer. Her nose scrunched up in disgust, and she lifted her arm and sniffed her shirt.

“Bleh!” She groaned in disgust, taking off her blood covered shirt and throwing it in the wash. She started the washer and walked out of the laundry room, she walked towards her dresser and searched for something to wear.

Only finding lingerie she shrugged, and put it one. Then stepped over the dead bodies, and poured herself a glass of wine. She sat on her couch and turned on, Shrek on her television.

The sound of heavy footsteps echoed throughout her apartment, “S’bout time you showed up.” She said, turning around to look at Batman.

Standing up as she took another sip of wine, he’s taken aback a bit seeing her wearing lingerie. She noticed the look on his face, a grin grew across her lips. “So ya’ like what you see Bats,” She said, as she walked closer to him.

He stood there quiet like a mouse, “I know you do. I can’t count the countless times I’ve woken up in your bed.” She whispered, as she placed her hands on his chest. Standing up on her tippy toes, “I miss those days,” She whispered, looking up at him.

“There was no need to kill them,” He said, and she scoffed folding her arms across her chest. As she backed away from him, “So you’d rather me dead then.” She shook her head, “Let them torture me, assault me? Great that’s nice Bats.” She groaned, storming away but was stopped by him grabbing her wrist.

“Y/n,” He said, looking down at her. Looking into her hazel eyes that he’d always get lost in. God, he missed her. He regrets walking out on her without a word.

“What?” She replied, as her gaze drifted back up at him. s she removed her arm from his grasp, “If this is about The Riddler, I know nothing. If it’s about the Club I haven’t been allowed in since, I broke the legs of one the clients who got a little to handsy with one of my friends.” She said, looking up at him.

“Listen, if you wanna know your gonna have to as my father. He might know. I mean he does owe ya’.” She sighed, and he looked down at her, a slight scoff left her lips.

“You know it’s crazy. You save my father’s life one of Gotham’s mafia bosses. Start dating his daughter for about a couple of years. Then proposes. Then a couple days later. Fuckin ups and leaves.” She says, looking down.

“Now, my mom told me to never hold no grudges. But damn that was low even for you.” She says, as she turns away from him.

“But my father won’t go back on his word, mask him anything and he’ll give ya the information you need. Close to it.” She sighed.

“I only left to protect you,” He said, and she scoffed. “I don’t need protecting if you haven’t noticed.” She said, shaking her head.

“Y-You can’t just leave someone like that, especially when you fucking planned on marrying them!” She shouted, clenching her fist.

“God, we’ve known each other since High School. And you leave me like that!” She shouted, as she kicked him in the chest. He dodged, “I wanted to have a family!” She exclaimed, punching him in the chest.

Each he dodged, and eventually her legs wrapped around his waist. And he pinned her to the table, “Jesus, you are enjoying this.” She exclaimed, as she looked at him. The two stare at each other for what seemed like hours, until she planted her lips on his. Wrapping her arms around his neck, a slight moan escaped her lips.

The laundry long forgotten, her fathers men already got the bodies in her living room handled. As they’re coming in the morning. This time when she opened her eyes in the morning, he was still there by her side.

#fanfic #x reader #fluff #headcanons #romance #batman 2022 #batman x you #Batman x reader #Battinson #Battinson x reader #the tension I can’t

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ri-ahhh · 3 years

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hi can you write about spending a valentine’s day with gray pls?

valentine’s day smut w/ gray? + more haha sorry couldn’t put them all in

A/N: I’m sorry this is a day late. It was supposed to be 90% smut but somehow it took on a mind of its own and turned into this monster.

warnings: smut, extremely cheesy, way too long

***

It should be a given understanding that Valentine’s Day is the dumbest, most antiquated, overrated holiday that’s ever existed. That had always been your take on it, even as a little kid — the worry of spelling your classmates’ names correctly on cards imprinted with cheesy Scooby Doo and Spongebob puns; the expectation to dress up nice in the hopes you would get asked to be someone’s Valentine in the hallways of middle school; the potential embarrassment of being the only person in class who didn’t get bought one of those stupid roses from a ‘secret admirer’ in high school.

There’s simply too much pressure surrounding the idea of professing your love or even your mere fondness for anyone and everyone in your life. The fear of rejection if you do, and the judgement if you don’t. It had always made you anxious, whether you had someone to share the day with or not.

But this Valentine’s Day, as a young twenty-something, you were actually (secretly) looking forward to it. Conner was your first adult relationship, with the title of ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ and labels and commitment. He’s cute and smart and charming and yours. So, sue you if you were quietly anticipating wearing that SavageXFenty set beneath a brand new dress while you went to dinner after being greeted at the door with roses and a box of chocolates.

And yet here you are, on February 14th, hood of your sweater drawn over your head as you rummage through your freezer with a clear target in your mind. Your eyes are blurry and swollen, but you find the pint of birthday cake Nada Moo with ease, and you slam the freezer door closed a little harder than you really mean to as soon as it’s in your grasp.

You’ve just popped the lid off when your phone buzzes on the kitchen counter where you’ve plopped down to eat your depression snack in a more acceptable place than your bed or the couch.

You see Grayson’s name accompanied by a goofy, up-close picture of him smiling filling the screen, and hesitate. He’s one of your best friends, and clearly done nothing wrong, but you’re not sure you’re capable of handling anyone of the male species right now after...everything.

At the end of the day, though, it’s Grayson. He knows heartbreak almost better than anyone, and you’ve coached him through it on more than one occasion. Maybe he can spew back some of your own advice if it comes to that.

You swipe the bar at the bottom of the screen, and your ceiling suddenly replaces the image of his silly, handsome face. “Sup?”

“Yo. Am I interrupting anything? Sorry, just remembered what day it is.”

You swallow. “Uh no, you’re not.”

“What’s wrong?”

You bite your lip hard, digging your spoon into the softened ice cream. Was it that obvious just from your voice that you had been upset? Or does he just know you that well?

“Nothing.”

“You sound like you’ve been crying.”

“I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie. Let me see your face.”

There’s a beat of silence, and you concede. “No. I’ve been crying.”

He’s quiet, and you can’t bring yourself to look at his own face in the corner of the screen. You shove the chunk of ice cream past your lips, and after a moment he says with a softer tone, “Crying on Valentine’s Day is never a good sign.”

You’re glad that you’ve gotten so much of your tears out already, because you feel the inevitable prickle behind your eyes that would have been full-blown waterworks a few hours ago. You scoop another bite. “Conner cheated on me — has been, cheating on me. I found out last night.”

Grayson sighs your name, and something about the genuine sympathy in his voice makes you even more emotional. “Fuck. I’m so sorry. What a piece of shit.”

You shrug even though he can’t see, and sniffle past the lump in your throat. “It’s whatever. I’m still in shock more than anything. Hurts like hell, though, still. I let him have it when I saw the texts and he hasn’t tried to call me once. No texts. Nothing.”

He’s silent, but it’s that raging silence you know oh so well from him. It doesn’t happen often, but anyone who knows Grayson Dolan knows that when his volume comes down, he means business. A loud and obnoxious Grayson is a happy one, but a brooding and quiet one means serious business.

“Do you want me to go beat his ass? I’ll do it.”

A smile cracks your scowl before you know it, and you shake your head. “No thanks, Gray. As much as I’d love to see that happen, I like your face the way it is. And not on a mugshot.”

He chuckles a little, and you feel your chest lift some just hearing the familiar depth of it. “Well, do you at least want me to come over later? I totally get if you need to be alone, but I know from experience sometimes what helps the most is having good friends around.”

You’re a little surprised. “You don’t have a date?”

“Nope.”

“No one from the roster hitting you up?”

“I don’t have a roster,” he argues playfully, but you both know that’s a lie, if not at least a stretch of the truth. “And even if I did, you’re more important. Always.”

You sigh and take another bite. His words make your neck tingle and your toes wiggle, but you ignore it; your brain is full of confusion as it is. “That makes one man in my life who thinks so, I guess.”

You finally prop your phone up against the fruit basket sitting in the middle of your bar so he can see you. Grayson takes in your image, which admittedly must look kind of pathetic, and you watch his jaw clench and release in a way that you can’t deny is utterly sexy.

“Is an hour okay? Tell Vanessa to come, too.”

“Benito took her to Tulum for the weekend,” you say, referring to your best friend and her boyfriend. “She did threaten to get on a plane and come home early for me, though.”

Grayson grins crookedly, but his jaw is still tight. “Well, tell her you’re in good hands. See you in an hour?”

You give it one last quick consideration; you already feel this much better just talking to him on the phone. Nothing bad could come from him being in your apartment, and you trust him. “Yeah, that’s fine. But just so you know, I’m already at the stage of eating ice cream at 10:30 AM.”

“Did you forget you’re talking to the emotional ice cream eating champion? No judgement here.”

You finally let out a giggle, your spirits officially lifted. “I’ll see you soon.”

True to his word, Grayson arrives at your door about an hour later, his arms laden with milkshakes from Monty’s, a gift bag decorated all over with sparkly hearts, and a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.

You’re stunned. The only thing you’d managed to do in the time it took him to get here was take a quick shower in attempts to rid your face of some of the puffiness, throw on some shorts this time with a fresh hoodie, and toss the used tissues scattered around your place into the garbage.

Before you can say anything, he holds out the flowers. “They were out of roses. But I know you like pink.”

You reach out for them slowly, eyes wide, your fingers brushing his when you grasp the plastic wrapping. His cheeks are a similar color to the petals, and it makes both your heart and your lips smile.

“Peonies are my favorite,” you say truthfully. “And yes, especially pink ones. Thank you, Gray.”

“You’re welcome,” he says, sounding relieved.

As he crosses the threshold of your door, he leans down to kiss your cheek, and you can’t help but hum quietly and pull him in for a hug. “That gift better not be for me, either,” you mumble into his chest.

Grayson pulls back, his eyes sparkling, but keeps you close with an arm wrapped loosely around your shoulders. “Oh, this? No, this is for my other best friend I’m trying to cheer up on Valentine’s Day.”

You slap his arm playfully, and lead him into your kitchen, pulling out a vase from the cabinet beneath your sink for the flowers.

The bag has a few gifts in it: a new Comfy (“I remembered you ruined yours when that ketchup bottle exploded all over you the other day”); a huge bag of watermelon sour patch kids (“I know they’re your favorite. Also ice cream gives you brain freeze after the first pint or so, trust me”); and a heart shaped box of your favorite chocolates (“you can eat them or burn them, I wasn’t sure which you’d appreciate more but either is fine with me.”)

You appreciated all of it, more than he would ever understand. All you can do is fling yourself at him weakly, completely overwhelmed. “Fuck you, you’re gonna make me cry all over again.”

Grayson envelops you in those huge, muscular arms, cooing behind that laugh you love so much. “Is that a really backwards way of saying thank you?”

You grunt in affirmation, and with you still wrapped up in his arms, he starts waddling the two of you back the short distance into your living room.

“Here,” he says, coaxing you down into the blanket nest you had created on the couch. “You chill and find a movie. I’ll make popcorn.”

You do, and he does, and the next few hours are spent lounging about in your apartment. Having him here with you is doing wonders from keeping your mind from going down the paths you’d been spiraling towards ever since you saw the messages between Conner and no less than four other girls on Snapchat. You don’t believe in snooping, but finding the first one had been an accident when he received the snap while you had his phone, and your finger happened to press the icon at just the right moment.

In your eyes, though, the image of one pair of tits that weren’t your own was enough justification to see what else you could find.

“I hate to admit it, but I’m kind of relieved,” you told Grayson a while later, Shrek playing on the TV quietly. He’s sitting next to you, far enough apart for there to be couch space between the two of you, but close enough to share the oversized blanket thrown over your laps. “Obviously what he did is so fucking shitty and I’m not justifying it in any way, but I can be honest with myself now and realize I wasn’t in that relationship for the right reasons. There wasn’t anything there emotionally at the end of the day.”

“You still have every right to feel hurt by what he did, though. It’s a huge violation of trust,” Grayson assures, reaching out and squeezing your hand gently.

You squeeze back and grimace at him. “Yeah.” You let out a little mirthless laugh and shake your head, heat flooding your cheeks. “It’s so embarrassing, too. And finding out the day before Valentine’s, no less. Like, I just wanted to look cute, have a nice dinner, have some nice sex, and just... I don’t know. Have an actual Valentine’s day for once. No pressure or anxiety or anything.”

Grayson stares at you in that way he does — so intense and almost intimidating if there wasn’t a genuine warmth behind it. You’re suddenly aware of his thumb brushing the back of your hand slowly. He squeezes your fingers again.

“So, let’s do it, then. You and me.”

You arch a brow at him, smiling at the rosiness in his cheeks when he realizes what he might have implied. “The dinner part, I mean. And the dressing up. Even though I think you look plenty cute right now.”

You roll your eyes, but for the countless time that day, your heart flutters happily. Looking back, you can’t remember the last time Conner had complimented your appearance, let alone after hours of crying and lazing around in sweats, sugar crystals stuck to the corner of your lip.

“That would be great, except there’s no way we’re getting into any restaurant at this point,” you remind him. “Probably no delivery, either.”

“I’ll cook for you,” he counters, throwing the blanket off his legs and standing up with a groan. He stops to stretch, and the way his arms go over his head makes his shirt ride up at the bottom, exposing a chunk of hard muscles and golden skin.

You swallow, eyes trailing up the rest of his torso appreciatively. “I don’t have much.”

He’s already rummaging through your pantry, though, and pulls out a half-full box of pasta, a jar of marinara sauce, and a leftover chunk of sourdough bread. “You got salad stuff?”

You nod, and he opens the fridge to find some lettuce, peppers, and other salad fixings before setting them with the pasta ingredients on the counter. “Go get dressed, look as cute or not cute as you want. I’ll take care of this.”

He’s absolutely unreal. “Gray-”

Grayson holds up his hand. “Ah, no, I’m doing this. You deserve it. Also, I’m hungry. It’s a win-win.”

Your stomach growls as well, and that’s all the convincing you need. While he gets busy in the kitchen, you tidy up the living area some before heading to your room. You feel a little silly, making your third outfit change of the day, but you also like the giddiness in the pit of your belly at the thought of Grayson doing all of this for you. You might as well take advantage of having someone like him in your life. Show him some Valentine’s appreciation of your own.

You forgo the slinky red number you had planned to wear to the restaurant with Conner, and opt instead for a rather unsuspecting blouse-jeans combo, which happen to both respectively frame your tits and ass perfectly.

The lacy, bright pink set in the back of your closet might have made it beneath your clothes, though. The prettiness of it made you feel that much better, even if no one else was going to see it.

Maybe.

Padding back into your kitchen after running a flat iron through your hair and throwing on some concealer, mascara, and lip gloss, you find Grayson draining the pasta into a colander in the sink.

Grayson does a double-take when he sees you standing there admiring the flex of his bicep as he holds the pot. “Hey! You look amazing.”

“If you say so,” you joke, bumping his hip with yours as. You pass him to pull plates and bowls out of the cabinet.

“I do,” he insists quietly.

Arm outstretched mid-reach, you look over at him, locking eyes with his hazel ones. He looks a little surprised by the words that left his mouth, like he meant for them to stay inside his head. There must be some kind of challenge in your gaze, daring him to elaborate.

He busies himself with the pasta again hastily, his voice low. “Conner is a fucking idiot. To do that to you. To let you go. You don’t deserve that. Especially not today.”

Plates in hand, you rest them gently on the counter with your lower lip caught between your teeth, and peer over at this handsome man you’re so proud and lucky to call your best friend. He’s everything you thought Conner was — cute and smart and charming — but so much more — beautiful and good and kind.

And he’s been right here in front of you the whole time.

You reach out and touch his elbow softly. The hairs on his forearm are crisp but soft, and you follow them down to that gleaming watch on his wrist.

“You know,” you start quietly, fingers tracing the links of the band before flipping his hand over to trace the lines of his palm, “you keep talking about what I deserve today. But you deserve all that and more. You deserve someone’s love that matches your own.”

He watches your delicate fingers on his large, calloused palm, then trails his eyes up to yours when he feels their attention on his face. A piece of hair flops into his eyes, and you reach up without thinking or any hesitation to push it away again with a little smile playing on your glossy lips.

You look down and lay your palm flat against his, admiring the difference in size between your hands for a moment before interlocking your fingers with his.

“I love you.”

Your eyes flit up to his in surprise; he beat you to the words.

“In case that wasn’t obvious,” Grayson continues, turning towards you. “And I hope that’s not too much for you to handle, with everything you’ve had hap-”

“I love you too, Gray,” you interrupt, stepping that much closer to him so you’re nearly chest-to-chest with him.

“Yeah?” He sounds almost boyish in his astonishment, and it makes you want to hold him tight and never let go.

“Yeah,” you giggle. “A lot. I’m sorry it took me getting dumped to realize it.”

He shakes his head, his hand resting on your cheek gently. “Can I kiss you?”

You nod once before he’s swiftly ducking down to claim your lips with his. They’re soft and pliable, and you feel their effects from the nerves in your scalp all the way down to your bare toes.

“Grayson,” you breathe, lashes fluttering open as he pulls back just enough to look at you concernedly.

You smile, bigger and brighter than you have all day, and cup his stubbled cheeks with your hands, scratching your nails gently against his jaw. “I just wanted to say your name.”

Grayson grins now, too. He kisses you more insistently now that he’s got the taste of you on his tongue, which he flicks against the underside of your top lip as he breaks the kiss. “Say it again.”

“Make me,” you challenege, voice breathy and excited, eyes closed as you savor his sweet breath against your lips. “In my room.” You feel him tense up a bit, and you open your eyes to meet his questioning gaze, biting back a smile at the inevitable hope also shining there. “I’m sure.”

With that, Grayson hauls you up into his arms, and you wrap your legs around his waist with a squeal as he buries his face into your neck. He starts making the way to your bedroom, cooked food left long forgotten in the kitchen behind you.

“Are you wearing my signature scent?” he asks, inhaling your skin deeply.

“Mmhm,” you hum, threading your fingers through the back of his thick hair. It’s so long again, and you give the dark strands a sharp tug that makes him grunt. “Part one of my gift to you. Since you got so many for me today.”

“Part one, huh?” he says, crossing the threshold of your room. “What’s part two?”

“What I’m wearing underneath this,” you whisper in his ear, giggling loudly when he lies you down on the bed with more of a toss than he might have intended. “If you want it, that is.”

He looks at you like you’ve lost your mind at the mere suggestion that he wouldn’t, and you take that as enough encouragement to tug at the bow tying your forest green silk wrap blouse together.

The folds part open and expose your chest, clad in that pink lace demi-cup bra with the cage detailing over the tops of your breasts. Grayson moans and dips down to nuzzle your cleavage, breathing in the scent of your warm skin. His hands trail up your sides, from your hips to your rib cage, until they settle in the dips of your waist. His touch ignites you, makes your back arch and your hips grind up against his thigh between your legs, just from the sensation of his hands on these new parts of your body.

“Grayson,” you sigh, and he smirks up at you with his chin on your tits when he realizes that’s all it took for you to say his name again.

You grab his cheeks and kiss that smugness away, shifting your legs so they’re wrapped around his waist once again, pushing down on the small of his back to get your centers to meet.

Both of you gasp into each other’s mouths when his erection rubs against your pussy, even through all the layers of clothing still on your bodies. You reach down blindly, still attacking his mouth with yours, and feel around for his belt.

His pants come off, followed by yours, and he sits you up enough to push your blouse off your shoulders rather gently considering the intensity of everything. Once the garment is tossed over his shoulder, you’re down to nothing but that pretty lingerie and he in his boxer briefs.

There’s a moment of pause and clarity for the two of you, staring into one another’s eyes as the reality hits of what you’re about to do. What it means to both of you. Grayson stares down at you, and places a hand over your rapidly thumping heart.

“Beautiful,” he says quietly, dragging his hand up your chest, over your throat, until he’s cupping you’re cheek and stroking your lip with his thumb.

You smile in return, then part your lips with your eyes locked on his, encouraging him silently to slip that digit in your mouth.

Grayson’s eyes darken, and he offers you his pointer finger instead, swallowing hard when you suck and swirl your soft, wet tongue around it.

Suddenly, he’s rolling the two of you over, switching positions so he’s on his back and you straddle him. You smile happily, taking your turn to duck down and attach your lips to the pulse point his neck, grinding down on his cock with a slow, steady rhythm.

“You’re so amazing, Gray,” you tell him, nipping at the lobe of his ear before kissing the underside of his chin. “Can’t believe you’re all mine now.”

“Can’t believe you’re mine,” he growls back, cursing when you trail your kisses down the center of his body, giving each one of those moon’s their own special attention before continuing down.

When you get to the waistband of his underwear, you trail your tongue on the edge of the elastic and watch his abs contract with each shaky breath he takes. One little move of your hands, and you’ll finally get to see what he’s really packing.

But before you can even hook your fingers there to pull down, he’s tugging on your hair. “Fuck, fuck, c’mere. Please.”

You pout, but follow his lead, licking back up his muscular torso until he’s able to drag you to him for a deep, wet kiss.

“Sit on my face,” he demands, shuffling down on the pillow to make more room for you.

That takes you off guard. “But—”

“Do it. Please. I fucking have to taste you.”

Your body must be working ahead of your brain, because before you know it, you’re straddling Grayson’s face, his tongue is sweeping through the wetness in your slit, and his dark eyes are peering up at you from between your thighs.

“Oh... oh!” you cry out when his tongue starts flicking against your clit. He goes back to swiping up all your arousal, then suctions his lips around your clit. He’s using one hand to hold the lace of your thong aside, and the other dips first one finger, then two inside of you. “Oh, fuck, that’s so good...”

Grayson moans, the vibrations erupting around your clit and sending you right to the edge already. You reach back and palm his cock, rock hard in his underwear still, and squeeze as he makes you cum all over his mouth.

He gets his fill of your cum as he groans and keeps up the motion of his fingers, the pressure of his lips, the softness of his tongue as your pussy pulses with each contraction of your orgasm. You wait for him to start letting up, but something about the way he’s working you just makes those waves stay steady rather than die down again. Maybe that’s his intention, because when you drop your head down to look at him with your mouth wet and agape, there’s a sparkling mischief in his eyes has he eats you out like his last meal.

Your hips grind against his face of their own accord, and you delve one hand in his hair while the other supports you on the headboard. You gasp out a quivering, breathless laugh as it all becomes just too much, and you try to lift off his mouth.

Grayson isn’t having it, though. He wraps his arms around your thighs and holds you down, reveling in the moans and whimpers and squeals as he makes you cum again.

“Oh my god — enough, enough, I can’t...” you whine, shoving on his forehead until he releases you and drops his head to the pillow. You could already see it by the crinkles in the corners of his eyes, but he’s smirking wide, chest heaving as you slink your way down his body.

You collapse next to him in a daze, and he rolls on top of you smoothly, peppering little kisses to your cheeks, your jaw, your nose. When you’re back in your right mind, you nudge blindly at his face so his lips find yours. He tastes like your pussy, and you sigh happily as you lift your heavy arms to wrap around his neck while his scoop beneath you, holding you close.

You continue to indulge in each other for a while, in the kisses you hadn’t been allowed to share until now. There’s something exciting about his familiarity and yet also this strange newness that has you absolutely desperate for him in every way.

“This is crazy,” you say when you pull back for air, studying his face hovering right above yours. You push back that stubborn chunk of hair that keeps falling into his eyes with a soft smile. “How did we end up here?”

Grayson turns his head to press his lips to your palm. “I don’t know. Is it too much? Should we stop?”

You shake your head vehemently, and he grins. “No, please. I think I just have to grasp that you’re really... mine now.”

He chuckles. “How do you think I felt watching you with that loser for five months?”

The mention of Conner makes you feel nothing — nothing other than gratitude for Grayson, that is. You slide your hands down his back, over his ribs, across his abs until your hand cups his dick.

His hips thrust into your touch, and you grin up at him demurely as you finally delve your hand past his waistband until you’ve got his length completely in your grasp.

He’s hot and hard and thick, and you start stroking him just to gauge the reaction in his face. He doesn’t disappoint, his jaw gaping open slightly, his breaths picking up, a flush rising to the apples of his cheeks.

Without warning, he reaches down and grasps your wrist. You pout, but he asks hastily. “Are we gonna have sex?”

You smirk. “Hell yeah.”

Grayson grins and shakes his head. “Alright, then you gotta stop.”

“Already?” you tease, letting him sit back and hook his fingers in the tiny string of your thong at your hips.

He gives you a look as he pulls the scrap of lace down your legs, then stands to push down his own underwear. Your mouth waters at the sight of him, and you wish he’d let you blow him some before you hit the main event, but he says, “I’ve wanted you for too long to take any chances about screwing up the first time.”

You melt a little, reaching for him as he climbs back on the bed. “There should be some condoms in the drawer there. Just to be safe after... you know.”

He nods and dips down to kiss you before leaning over to riffle through the top drawer of your nightstand. He comes back with a purple square, which you take from him.

“Gotta practice an activity safely,” you wink, tearing open the condom and rolling it down his shaft quickly.

“Shut up.” Grayson rolls his eyes, but smiles softly as he settles between your legs just right. “I love you.”

“I love you,” you whisper, gasping as he starts to sink inside you.

“Oh, fuck,” he whimpers as your walls suck him in and grip him tight.

He goes slow for a couple of minutes, allowing both of you time to adjust to each other. He stretches you out so much better than anyone you’ve ever been with, and you can’t help but clench around him when you see those tattoos and smell his cologne and hear his voice — all things that remind you that this is Grayson fucking you.

He growls the first time you do it, then sits up hastily, pulling his face out of your neck when you do it again. He tucks his knees beneath him, sits on his heels, and hauls your hips into his lap as the speed of his thrusts picks up incrementally. Until he’s fucking you for real, and your tits bounce in your bra with every upstroke.

You shove an arm beneath your pillow, enunciating the curves of your body, and watch his expressions as he fights to hold back. His hair is disheveled, lip caught tight between his teeth and muffling his deep, satisfied sounds that mingle with your open higher-pitched ones. He catches your eye and his hands on your hips grip you so tight for a moment that you’re sure little bruises will be there in the morning — not that you mind.

“Fuck,” he whispers harshly before slowing his hips and shifting down to give you a deep, sloppy kiss. “Turn over.”

You moan into his mouth, then follow his order, rolling onto your front as soon as he pulls out. You expect him to haul your hips up into the air, but he moves your hair off your neck and trails sweet kisses from shoulder to shoulder, his hand sweeping down the subtle curve of your back until he’s gripping your ass.

Grayson’s hand moves down your thigh and pushes it up and out once he’s cupping the back of your knee. The angle encourages you to twist your upper half until you have sight of him once again in all his angled, sweaty, muscular glory.

“Fuck me, baby,” you beg him, already anticipating the fullness inside you again. Needing it.

“Want me to fuck you?” he asks needlessly, pushing into your pussy once again. You moan loudly, either in confirmation or from pure pleasure, it doesn’t matter. The angle is tighter, the tip of his dick hitting a spot so perfectly accurate inside of you that you can’t concentrate on anything other than how good he’s making you feel. “Yeah. So fucking sexy. So beautiful...”

“Gray.. oh fuck yes, right there,” you whimper, catching onto his arm as he leans over you and gives you those hard, steady strokes.

“Open your eyes, baby, lemme see them when you cum,” he growls out.

You open them as much as you can, your vision blurry, but you can still make out those handsome features soaking in the pleasure on your face. Watching and waiting for you to get yours so he can get his.

As soon as you’re clenching like a vice around him, Grayson is letting go into the condom. You can vaguely feel the throb of him as he cums in spurts, the sound of his masculine, drawn-out groans making you shiver and tense up even more on his dick. If it’s possible for anyone to sound as sexy as they look, Grayson achieves that in spades.

He collapses on the bed next to you, and you have just enough strength to roll over until he’s got you gathered in his arms. You nuzzle into his chest and try to process everything. You had been hoping for nice sex today, and instead you got the best sex of your life.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence while you both catch your breath, after he pulls and ties off the condom, you smile into his cooling skin with a satisfied sigh.

“Thank you for making this the best Valentine’s Day of my life. Especially after it was starting to look like the worst.”

“You made this the best day of my life, period,” he says, kissing your forehead. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Gray.”

#the relief i have in finishing this lmao #im sorry its a day late this took way more effort than i thought it would #dolan twins #grayson dolan #smut #blurb #g blurb

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babyjamiebarnes · 3 years

Text

Build-A-Bear

Part Three

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, Morgan, various characters in other chapters

Warnings: language, sexual innuendos and implications

Chapter Summary: Reader has dinner with her family and gets grilled even harder than her food. But she’s turned to a light simmer when Bucky takes her out for their first date.

Author’s Note: This chapter is fucking monstrous lol. I did not expect it to be this long so it might be a couple extra days before the next chapter so I can catch up! I’m also not sure if my Italian is accurate so I apologize in advance. I used to work for a man named Gennaro from Naples and he called me “bella” so hopefully I’m sort of right? If you like the story so far, feel free to buy me a coffee!

Part One • Part Two

Tags: @kennedywxlsh

Dinner that night was tense, to say the least. It was nice to have your dad, step-mom, sister, and uncles Happy and Rhodey over again, but your dad wasn’t quick to forget what he saw earlier.

“What was that with Barnes today?” Tony asked as you all sat around the dining room table in your midtown flat, poking away at the remnants of your meals.

“What do you mean?” you asked innocently.

Your dad just gave you an incredulous look. “You know what I mean.”

You sighed and avoided meeting his eyes. “I was just working on his arm, dad. I didn’t wanna make him lie down on a hard lab table while I poked around to do what you wanted and quiet his arm,” you explained.

“Wait, Barnes as in Bucky Barnes?” Uncle Rhodey clarified.

“Yeah,” your dad confirmed, not taking his eyes off of you. “I found her kneeling between his legs while he sat shirtless on the couch.”

“You’re sleeping with Bucky?!” Rhodey asked.

“I’m not sleeping with anyone!” you defended, dropping your fork onto your plate. “I’ve known him for a month.”

“That’s never stopped your father,” Pepper mumbled under her breath, making you huff out a laugh despite your current grilling.

“Listen, when I said ‘no fraternizing with coworkers,’ I meant it,” your dad said.

“Please stop saying ‘fraternizing.’ It’s weird.”

Tony sighed and crossed his arms. “No ‘slumber parties’ with coworkers,” he rephrased.

This made Morgan perk up in her seat, having spent the past couple minutes confusedly watching you and your dad bicker.

“Can we have a slumber party, [Y/N]?” she asked.

“Yes, honey, we can have a slumber party,” you responded.

“Tonight?” she continued.

At this, you pointedly looked at your dad and raised your eyebrows as a way of saying ‘are we done now?’ You could tell he didn’t want to end the conversation, but you were grateful for the sudden change of topic. Tony uncrossed his arms and leaned against the table as he replied to your sister.

“If your big sister says it’s okay, you can have a slumber party tonight.”

Morgan lit up like the Fourth of July, quickly listing off all the movies she wanted to watch even though you knew she’d fall asleep halfway through the first movie.

As your family packed up to leave, leaving Morgan since she had a drawer of clothes for the impromptu sleepovers you’ve had before, you calmed your racing heart before saying the words that would either make your father more suspicious or completely quash his suspicions.

“You’ll have to pick her up by four tomorrow. I have a date.”

All of the adults turned to face you. Pepper had a huge smile on her face, clearly excited for you, but your dad and Rhodey looked ready to fight. Happy looked curious, maybe even worried, but he played a big role in raising you so while Tony was the overprotective parent, Happy was the comforting parent (not that he’d ever let anyone know that).

“A date?” The tone of your dad’s voice made you roll your eyes at him.

“I’m a grown woman. I’m allowed to go on dates.”

Your dad let out a quiet harumph at that, but understood where you were coming from. “I know, sweetheart. Forgive me for being a bit overprotective of my little girl.”

“I get it. I appreciate your concern,” you said with a smile, “but this is good for me. You want grandkids eventually, right?”

“Oh god,” your dad groaned, pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m not old enough to be a grandpa but I’m old enough to have a heart attack at the mention of it.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re so dramatic.”

“So what’s this person’s name?” Pepper piped up. You visibly tensed and internally panicked. You couldn’t just admit it was Bucky after denying anything there. But his name was technically pretty common...

“His name is James.”

Rhodey snapped his fingers and pointed at you as he said, “I like him already.”

‘Yeah, sure you do,’ you thought. The sight of your dad narrowing his eyes at you and crossing his arms as he stood in the entryway of your apartment made you nervous. Maybe James wasn’t good enough to get him off your trail (probably because he was right).

“How did you meet this guy?” Tony asked.

If anyone else had asked, you would’ve said ‘work,’ but that’s the last place you could say to your dad — with whom you worked.

“Uhh, at the grocery store. We accidentally followed each other and got a lot of the same food so he jokingly accused me of stalking him and we just hit it off,” you rattled off. It’s a good thing he didn’t know how your friend Monique met her girlfriend or he’d know you were lying.

“That’s so cute,” Pepper cooed. She was definitely the more relaxed of your parents, possibly because she wasn’t your biological mom. She had been raising you since you were ten though, so she played a big part in your upbringing.

“Text me his last name so I can run a background check,” your dad said. You’d love to think he was joking, but you knew he was serious.

And as much as you knew you’d regret it, you had to make a joke…

“His last name is Barnes,” you said, keeping your face as serious as possible. “James Barnes. I actually know his middle name too: Buchanan.”

“[Y/N] [Y/M/N] [Y/L/N], you better be joking right now,” Tony said. He was already getting red in the face, clearly unenthused at the prospect of you dating the man who, admittedly, killed his parents — your grandparents. Yeah, understandable.

“I’m obviously kidding,” you said, forcing a laugh. “It’s just funny that they have the same first name and you’re so anti-Bucky.”

“You’re gonna send me to an early grave,” he muttered. “I’m going home before I actually have a heart attack.”

You said your goodbyes and ‘I love you’s before you and Morgan put on your pajamas and set up a pillow fort in the middle of your living room to watch her favorite sleepover movie: “Shrek.”

As the movie went on, you leaned back in the fort to take a photo of Morgan with the movie in the background. Well, the back of Morgan’s head as she was engrossed in the movie she’d seen a million times.

[Image attached] She’s got her teddy bear but where’s my Bucky Bear? 🥺

Across the city, Bucky’s phone buzzed from its spot on the kitchen counter as he made himself a late dinner. He didn’t recognize the number, but smiled when he saw the picture of who he assumed was your sister or niece.

I never got an invite. Looks like more fun than my night.

You smiled to yourself when you saw his reply, rolling your eyes at the lack of exclamation points and emojis. Typical man.

What does your night look like?

Eating a late dinner and talking to you.

Talking to me isn’t fun?! I’m hurt 😢

Not as fun as actually being with you.

Even though he wasn’t there and didn’t say it verbally, you could feel your cheeks get hot at his words.

There’s no way sweet talk like that didn’t get you in more than four beds.

You’re still on that? I swear doll, I have the same number as you.

Whatever you say! 🙄

There was a lull in conversation after that, giving you time to move your sister to lie on her back with pillows and blankets in the fort so she could sleep more comfortably.

Are we still going out tomorrow?

You let the next Shrek movie start automatically, but you didn’t pay any attention as you texted Bucky.

I’m still down if you are 👀

You sent him your address and let him know you’d wait on the front steps for him so he didn’t have to come all the way up. With the exchange of ‘good night’ messages, you drifted asleep to the sounds of Shrek 2.

•

The next morning, you somehow managed to wake up before your sister, then brought her back to the land of the living with the smell of French toast.

You spent your day watching another movie with Morgan before fixing lunch and taking her to a park down the road. Morgan’s childhood was definitely different from yours. Happy was the one who took you to parks and shopping, but Tony parented at home. Morgan would have the same early experiences, but the world knew Tony and Pepper had a daughter. They kept her identity hidden for now, waiting until she could decide if she wanted to reveal herself later in life. The world never knew about you.

And you had to be somewhat grateful for that. You still got all the perks of being a Stark — the money, the Tower, meeting the Avengers (and having James Rhodes as your godfather) — without the stress of fame. But part of you still wished you could talk about your father without keeping his occupation vague and referring to him as “Anthony” when telling stories instead of Tony.

Morgan also got to know her mom. You only spent the first seven years of your life with your mom before she was killed in a drive-by shooting. The police investigated it like crazy because everyone thought since it was Tony Stark’s wife, it had to be a targeted hit. But since she never took the same jogging route twice, all they came up with was an unplanned drive-by. You cherished the memories you had with her, but still openly welcomed Pepper when she came into the picture. She may not have played the same type of role in your life, but she helped shape your middle and high school years.

By the time you and Morgan got back to your place, she was exhausted, climbing back into the still-intact blanket fort to take a nap. When your dad and Pepper stopped by to pick her up, she was still knocked out.

“We’ll get out of your hair so you can get ready for your date,” your dad said with Morgan in his arms. “Send me this James guy’s last name. I still want to run a background check.”

“Dad,” you grumbled. “I already did my research. He’s clear.” Kind of. He technically has murdered hundreds of people, including your grandparents, but he’s reformed and fighting for the good guys now. Not that your dad would let it slide if you told him that.

“That’s my girl,” he grinned. “Let me know if you need to hide any bodies, okay?”

“You got it,” you said with a laugh as they headed out. You had two hours to get ready for Bucky, giving you plenty of time to look extra cute.

By the time six rolled around, you were all dolled up and ready to go. The autumn weather had you in a jacket and boots, but that just pulled your outfit together.

Your doorman Matt was standing inside the lobby when you ran downstairs, tossing him a small wave as you left.

“Have a good night, Miss [Y/L/N],” he said with a nod.

“See you later, Matt!”

You stood at the bottom of your building’s front steps, checking your phone and looking up and down the block for Bucky. It was six on the dot, so you figured he’d be there soon.

“Hey!” You looked up from your phone to see Bucky jogging toward you, a black leather jacket covering his arms and a black glove hiding his left hand. “Sorry I’m late. I couldn’t get away from Sam. Had to tell him I was gonna check out my old stomping grounds in Brooklyn.”

“You’re, like, 30 seconds late. I’m just glad you’re here,” you said with a smile. “So what are we doing tonight?”

Bucky’s smile faltered as he looked down at you. Your boots gave you a bit of a height bump, but Bucky still stood taller than you.

“I, uh, I kinda thought you had something planned,” he said softly.

“Oh, oops,” you laughed. “Well… what about those Brooklyn stomping grounds of yours? Care to show me around?”

Bucky lit up at the recommendation and started leading the way to the nearest subway stop. Before you started down the stairs, he paused and turned to you with a sour expression.

“I probably should’ve asked if you’d rather get a cab,” he said.

“Bucky, I take the subway to work every day. It’s fine.”

“Why do you take the train? You don’t live too far away.” You two made your way down the steps to the bustling station.

“It’s just easier. Less work for me,” you explained. “I didn’t take the train much as a kid so I like taking the opportunity now that I can.”

“Most people don’t willingly take the subway,” he laughed. “Steve and I always used to talk about how we’d be rich enough to have a car someday. But now that I could get any car I wanted, I don’t think I want one. I like the subway.”

“Even though it’s smelly and dirty?” you joked.

“Yeah,” he laughed. “It’s one of the things that still reminds me of home.”

The gentleness in his voice nearly brought you to tears. This man had been through so much and was still the sweetest soul you’d ever met. Forced into a war he didn’t want to join, experimented on, tortured and brainwashed, hunted by every government in the world, captured, frozen, and forced into another war and more battles he shouldn’t have to join. He just couldn’t catch a break.

“Well I’m excited to see what else reminds you of home,” you replied.

The trains to and through Brooklyn were relatively busy so you and Bucky couldn’t really talk much, but it was a Saturday night so you couldn’t blame people for getting out. It was tough to find seats, but Bucky was willing to stand to make sure you could have a seat. Ever the gentleman.

When you made it to Bucky’s Brooklyn stop of choice, he started telling you more stories from the ‘40s, like when Steve couldn’t get off the train in time and accidentally went down another stop so Bucky ran to the next stop and found Steve heading his way anyway. And how he and Steve followed his sister Rebecca on a date “to watch out for her,” he said, and her date thought they were stalking her and tried to beat them up. And all the fights he pulled Steve out of.

“Punk was a chihuahua who thought he was a Rottweiler.”

For a while, you two walked around the streets of Brooklyn just telling each other stories. You were careful about names you used, often just calling Happy “Uncle Harry” and Rhodey “Uncle James.”

Bucky showed you the movie theater he and Steve used to go to, which was surprisingly still in business. You walked past what used to be a diner Bucky frequented but was converted into a bridal shop.

“This used to be a magic store Steve loved,” he said, looking up at the bank on the corner of the street. “Things have changed a lot.”

You heard the nostalgia in his voice, clearly missing the New York he grew up to love. He had a soft smile on his lips as he reminisced, though.

“What about where you lived?” you asked. “Do you remember where that is?”

“Oh yeah,” he chuckled. “I could never forget that.”

Everything was within a fifteen minute walk of where you got off the subway so even though your feet were getting tired, you followed alongside Bucky as he led the way up and down the streets. Before too long, you strode up to a large brick building that had clearly been remodeled recently, if the fresh windows and front doors were any indication.

“It’s… a lot nicer than when I lived here,” Bucky said with a sigh. “But it’s been nearly 100 years so I can’t blame them for updating things.”

“Brooklyn is kind of booming now, too,” you added. “More people to appeal to, ya know?”

You stared up at him again, seeing that same lost look as before, like he wished to turn back time and show you the Brooklyn he knew. So you decided since he couldn’t do that, you’d show him the Brooklyn you knew.

“Come here. My turn to show you around,” you said, holding your hand out to him. He gave you a small smile before grabbing your hand in his and letting you pull him back to the subway.

Ten minutes later, you hopped off the train with Bucky in tow and headed to the little Italian restaurant you found while exploring the city a couple years before. It wasn’t anything elaborate; it was honestly more of a little hole-in-the-wall, but you liked the quiet atmosphere.

“Bella!” the owner shouted as you walked in.

“Hey Genny,” you smiled at him.

“Who’s this?” he asked as he approached you, raising his eyebrows when he saw Bucky.

“This is James,” you said. You opted against using his more common nickname to avoid any recognition.

“James, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Gennaro, but you can call me Genny. Welcome to my restaurant.” The two men shook hands before Genny ushered you two to a table and handed you menus. “Would you like to start with focaccia?”

“Yes please!”

“Con formaggi?”

“Si! Grazie!”

Gennaro left you and Bucky while he started your appetizer.

“You speak Italian?” Bucky asked.

“Definitely not,” you laughed. “I’ve just been coming here for a while and have picked up on some things Genny says. Like ‘bella’ means ‘beautiful,’ this pizza,” you pointed to your favorite pizza on the menu, “‘cinque formaggi’ means ‘five cheese.’ But I could never hold a conversation.”

“Un peccato,” Bucky sighed before flashing a smile at you.

“You speak Italian?!” you nearly shrieked. “No way! Don’t talk shit with Gennaro behind my back.” You pouted at Bucky, but knew he wouldn’t say anything bad about you. Maybe an embarrassing moment or two — like your dad walking in on you between his knees — but nothing negative.

“I picked it up pretty quickly back in the day,” Bucky explained. “Before I was sent to Germany, I was stationed in a small town in Italy for a while. The locals didn’t mind having us there because we kept the Nazis out, so they taught us some Italian when we were in town.”

“Maybe I should take Gennaro up on his offer to learn Italian,” you mused.

“Or you could learn from me,” Bucky was quick to offer. “I’ll teach you some stuff when you’re working on my arm.”

Your server arrived with the focaccia and water for both of you, before giving you more time to actually look at the menus instead of talking. You decided to split a bottle of red wine and two pizzas, one of your choice and one of Bucky’s. As the night went on, you and Bucky both opened up to each other even more than before. You could easily blame the buzz from a couple glasses of wine, but Bucky’s super soldier serum made you confused. His cheeks were flushed and he had more than half the bottle, so you wondered if maybe...

“Can you still get drunk?”

“Unlike Steve, yes. It takes more than this,” he said, lifting the nearly empty bottle of wine, “but since Steve and I received different serums, they work a little differently. I can definitely get drunk. Marijuana admittedly hits harder.”

You paused as you stared back at him, his elbows perched on the table and his clasped hands propped under his chin.

“Are you drunk now?”

“No,” he laughed quietly. “A little tipsy, sure, but not drunk by a long shot.”

You narrowed your eyes at him playfully, reluctantly accepting that he was just as buzzed as you but not quite drunk.

Before long, your server brought over your tab and you realized how empty the restaurant had gotten. Then you noticed the broom and mop the server had brought out to the floor, then the dark ‘open’ sign, and finally the clock on the wall.

“You closed 20 minutes ago and didn’t kick us out?” you shouted at Gennaro. “Genny, you can always kick me out! I feel bad!”

Gennaro walked over to your table as you scrambled for your wallet and handed the server your card to run.

“I can’t kick you out, bella. You and your moroso are welcome any time.”

“I think this poor girl would beg to differ,” you said as the server handed your card and signature slip back. She just laughed at your comment, agreeing without saying it outright.

You left a hefty tip and hugged Genny before you and Bucky, both still a bit tipsy, shuffled outside.

“Thanks for buying dinner,” Bucky said. “This means I get to pay next time, though.”

He said it so casually and you already planned on another date, but it still kind of caught you off guard.

“Next time?” You smiled up at him and took a step closer until you were almost toe-to-toe. “There’s gonna be a ‘next time’?”

“I sure hope there is,” he said quietly, his smirk sending a rush up your spine.

“If you insist,” you sighed. He knew better than to believe you weren’t excited for your future plans. “I’m cold. Care to get an Uber with me?”

He gently grabbed your shoulders and spun you around, pulling the loose opening of his jacket over your arms and wrapping his arms around you to help keep you warm.

“Well, yeah. I need to make sure you get home safe so ‘next time’ can happen,” Bucky said as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

“You know, I don’t usually let men spoon me on the first date,” you joked as you tapped away to order an Uber.

“I can stop, if you want,” he teased.

You gripped his arm as he started to pull away. “I never said that.”

Bucky rode back to your place with you, keeping conversation casual as you both avoided the controversy you were about to face: to kiss on the first date or not. You never really had any issues with it before, but you already really liked Bucky. You didn’t want to risk messing it up by moving too fast. But what grown man would think a kiss on a first date was too fast? Well… maybe one born in the early 1900s…

Before your thoughts could throw you into a downward spiral, the driver pulled up outside your apartment complex. Bucky stepped out first and held the door open for you to scoot out after him. As you stood at the bottom of the stairs to your building, you felt those nerves creeping up on you again. God, you hadn’t felt this nervous about a date since high school.

“I had fun tonight,” Bucky said first, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Me too,” you smiled back. “I’m excited for what you plan for next time.”

Bucky laughed at this, the crinkle of his nose making your own smile grow. God, you wanted to invite him inside already. In your defense, you’ve known him for a full month and spent even longer getting heart-eyes over him in college.

But you reined in your hormones and just took a step closer to him to rest your hands on his chest. His right hand came up to rest on your waist, but he kept the metal hand in his pocket. With your hand placement, you could feel the thrum of his heartbeat and judging by the pace, you knew you were both on the same page. As you were trying to shove your nerves aside, Bucky asked the one question you were hoping for.

“Can I kiss you?”

Knowing he wanted this as much as you did relieved some of your nerves, but also made the moment that much more real. You smiled up at him and nodded your head.

“Yes, please do.”

You perched up on your toes to meet him halfway, letting his lips mold to yours. His hold on your waist tightened as he pulled you closer; you gripped the lapel of his jacket in your fists. Suddenly the cold of the night no longer existed. All you could feel was the warmth radiating off of him as he held you close. He pulled back for a second before diving right back in, this time nipping at your bottom lip. You giggled against him, but didn’t stop him from taking the innocent kiss a step further. Your hands slid from his chest to the nape of his neck before tangling into his long hair. The vibration from his moan as you tugged on his hair ran straight down your spine, making it even harder to leave the date alone.

Reluctantly, you both pulled apart just enough for your noses to brush against each other, the stubble of his beard still tickling your nose. You opened your eyes enough to see the smile on his lips as he pulled back a bit more to see your face.

“I’ll see you Monday?” you said quietly, as if speaking any louder would break you two out of your bubble.

“See you Monday, [Y/N],” Bucky replied just as quietly. His hand slipped from your waist as you backed away, biting your lip at him before you turned and scurried up the steps. Bucky stood on the sidewalk until he could see the light in your apartment flick on, just to make sure you were safe.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x Stark!reader #bucky barnes x stark!reader #Stark!reader #dad!tony #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fic

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zuzusexytiems · 3 years

Text

Some fluffy Jeanpiku headcanons for the soul

01.

Pieck's lockscreen is a candid photo of Jean with a slice of bread stuffed in his face. He never shuts up about it: "BUT I HAVE THAT PRETTY PHOTO OF YOU IN YOUR WEDDING DRESS ON MINE?!?¯

"It's my lockscreen," she'll shrug, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

02.

If you scroll through their phones, you'll get the occasional Babe, do we have any milk left? and the random I love you's, but the rest of it is just a ton of memes. Their text history is full of them: The most random shitposts. Outdated references from 2008. Blurry screenshots and variations of "guess I'll die" and the Kombucha girl. Both Jean and Pieck have the hardest time looking for important messages because of it.

03.

Pieck immediately knows when Jean's stressed out—like when he starts rolling his shoulders a little too often, or when he's pinching the bridge of his nose in between his fingers. She'll wrap her arms around him from behind, gently, and that's the only time he'll relax.

04.

Jean talks a lot in his sleep. Pieck never gets tired of it. She'd be up past midnight scrolling through her phone, and Jean would be dead to the world, his arms wrapped around her tight. He'd say the dumbest, most ridiculous things that make absolutely zero sense: "I left the pillows in the oven for you," and "That's my spaghetti, Chewbacca." Pieck would just giggle and kiss his forehead each time.

05.

They leave stuff playing on their TV before they go to bed. It's usually Shrek, which they've watched enough times that they can quote it word per word. They reference it every chance they get. Whenever Pieck tells bad puns, Jean would just go "GET OUTTA MY SWAMP."

06.

Jean's guilty pleasure is watching Pieck sleep in the morning. He'll play with her hair and kiss her all over until she wakes up. She always gives him a lot of shit for it: "Ugh, you're so creepy," but she'll always kiss him right back. She loves it.

07.

Pieck's guilty pleasure is oddly specific: It's watching Jean drive in reverse. They'd be pulling out of a parking lot, Jean's hand behind the passenger seat, checking the rear. Pieck thinks it's sexy. "You're so weird," Jean would say. He'd laugh and kiss her anyway.

08.

Pieck would always be invested in some sort of special interest in one way or another, like a series, or a film franchise. Maybe a band. Jean knows nothing about these things—he will gladly listen to her go on and on anyway.

There's a few months wherein Pieck is heavily invested in an alt-folk group. Jean isn't particularly into them—his music taste is different—but he hears Pieck gush over them so much that he might as well be.

He's at work one day when he overhears a couple of coworkers talk about the band. Jean dives right in—he talks about the albums, the members. One of his colleagues asks: "I didn't know you were this into them, Kirschtein."

"Ah, I'm actually not," Jean clarifies. "But my wife loves them."

09.

Pieck is three years older than Jean. Before they started dating, she'd always swear, to everyone she knew, that she'd never date anyone younger than her. Her infamous line: "One year tops and that's it."

When Jean finds out, he never lives it down. "Oh my god babe," he'd tease. "You're a cougar." Pieck cries, shoving him on the shoulder: "NOOOOOOO, BABE SHUT UP!"

10.

Jean sings ABBA in the shower. Badly. Pieck isn't any better at it, either. That doesn't stop them from belching it out. When they shower together, sometimes they do karaoke-offs for fun.

(Several complaints from neighbors may or may not have reached them.)

If you liked these, you can check out more of my Jeanpiku content here. :)

#jean kirstein #jean kirschtein #pieck finger #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #jeanpiku #pikujean #fingerstein #jeanpiku tiems #headcanons #writing tiems #jeanpikutiems #my writing

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