I would love your opinion on Black Sails! I was never able to finish it (even though I want to). Seasons 1-3 felt linear and natural in the way the characters were driven and motivated. Season 4 changed so much... undoing character growth, scrapping character beliefs for new motives that were narratively weaker, and using way more shock/gore than there had been used previously. I would love to know your opinions on it, and if I'm talking out of my ass on this. Love the show! Would love to finish it. Would genuinely love to hear you do a character analysis, if you felt up to it. Ty!

Hi Anon! I'm going to put this below a cut since it's not strictly relevant to this blog and yet I have much to say about it lol

It's been over a year since I watched Black Sails in it's entirety, but I'll go on record saying it's the best show I've ever seen. I love the writing, the acting, the costuming, the filmography, the music, the everything. It is [almost] perfectly balanced. Ironically I felt season 1 was the weakest and didn't take the same issues with season 4 as you did. My biggest criticism of season 1 involves the plot regarding Max's captivity on the beach. I think connecting her with Anne could've been achieved some other way (or even a similar plot just overall less sexual violence/quicker resolution). But even so, I still stand by that I recommend it, particularly to those who love a blend of historical and fiction/mythic characters.

I would love to see an Arthurian retelling on that scale and with that tone. Starz had produced their show Camelot in 2011, three years before Black Sails, and while that first season also has some issues, I'll forever be heartbroken it wasn't renewed. I fully believe they would have developed Camelot into an epic tale ala Black Sails, particularly with strong female characters and queer storylines. We could've had it all....

On that note, Black Sails was absolutely vital in my journey as an author adapting Arthurian legend in a historical 6th century. The meta about ambiguous storytelling subject to biased perception or outright misinformation and thus misconceptions about people involved in historical events fascinated me. On one hand you have Jack Rackham's obsession with his legacy, almost uncannily aware he's in a story and his limited time to leave his mark. Then there's Charles Vane's hanging in Nassau, when the history books say he died at Port Royal. It circumvents expectations, not with shock value (looking at you, Game of Thrones finale), but in service to the narrative by calling into question the validity of our accepted reality. Beyond that, it seamlessly blends historical figures, the cast of Treasure Island, and original characters created to incorporate more women and people of color into the narrative. Everyone's developed and fascinating and complex with clear motivations and fleshed out backstories (except for Silver, lol, which itself makes him compelling). Bernard Cornwell's Warlord Chronicles does similar things. He utilized Saint Derfel as his point of view character to analyze the Arthurian legend through a [semi-]historical lens. But I think Black Sails does it better. It also seems to transcend genre at times. It's adventure and action, but it's got everything from romance between a network of characters in all different Stiuationships to the horror of Flint's past haunting him (literally). And yet it never feels like too much. It doesn't lose track of what it's doing. Nothing set up is dropped or forgotten about. It's frustrating when the goal post moves yet again, but in a way which draws us in closer to the characters and makes us all the more driven to see it through. When another hiccup arises we must overcome, or even a devastating and insurmountable shock (Miranda....), it feels earned. Of course that was liable to happen. How could we have been so foolish to think things would have worked out?

This show gave me permission, and frankly, the determination, to experiment with my own retelling. The people who made Black Sails knew when to stay true to the past, drawing on facts to develop the story in accurate ways (such as utilizing the colony of escaped slaves to bring Madi and her people into the story (which also ties into Treasure Island in which Silver had a black wife!)) and when to follow the rule of cool (Jack Rackham in his definitely-historically-unviable-but-undeniably-cool shades). Literally life changing.

I don't think I could narrow down the characters enough to do a full analysis of one of them, I love them all for different reasons. But I did name my borzoi Long John Silver, so, I kind of have to talk about him, right? Well I think the character's lack of a backstory, ie his unwillingness to disclose it, acts as a surrogate for the viewer. We ride the wave with Silver, thrust into this predicament with the map and the gold and the very culture of Nassau's pirate trade whilst Silver somehow remains a blank slate mystery as he navigates this dangerous world with a quick mind alone. While Flint could certainly be considered the main character, and we're quite often in his head, his memories, his nightmares even, I don't think the viewer's supposed to identify as him so much as with him. Flint is Flint. But we are Silver. (Scary thought lol)

If you couldn't tell already, I'm long winded. :^) So I'll stop here and the real deep dive character analysis happens in my books. Gawain is just landlocked Flint if you squint<3 Thanks for asking about Black Sails! Everyone go watch it.

His relationship with Archer.

Ask my muse questions about their relationship with other muses. // @exnusquam @reiketsui

Proton's eyes dart over, pupils sharpening. He bites the inside of his lip, not saying a word out loud; his mind is flooded with thoughts he wouldn't dare put to word so easily.

'His hatred was conditional and confusing. I don't recognize either of us when we're alone together. He takes a piece of my ruined soul every time we meet. Soon I won't have anything left.'

'It hasn't always been like this.'

'I hated him the way a starved man scorns the gods for keep the stomachs of rich men filled.'

Slowly spinning his balisong on one finger, Proton glances up to the ceiling, watching the flickering of the fluorescent lights, listening to the buzzing of electricity between his ears, that awful metal-on-metal sound that had burrowed into his cranium and never left.

"He's the first one I saw when I woke up from my coma," Proton reveals, his eyes moving back and forth, following the pattern of the flickering. Silent images manifest at the front of his mind. There he had been, barely clinging to life, his body mangled and ruined, while nobody was certain that he would even be capable of being revived-- he'd opened his eyes, every single cell in his body full of agony-- and he saw the color blue.

"Fuckin' shocked me, we hated each other back then, but he still showed up, and he always does when I need him," he admits, his thoughts trailing to shouting matches and snide remarks-- to judgmental glares and mocking laughter. They couldn't be any MORE opposite of one another-- pride versus shame, chaos versus order-- Proton had existed as a ghoul, a source of frustration, a walking antagonist for the frigid man as he effortlessly approached the pedestal he had situated himself on top of, the one that Archer looked down upon others while flaunting his superiority.

"And I'll always show up when he needs me too," just as he had done when Archer had spiraled when their leader abandoned them. Proton had fought against paranoia with both words and weapons in order to bring the second-in-command back to reality, so that he could press the kiss of loyalty to his trembling knuckles.

One man attempts to muzzle another. A leash is tied around a neck. Blades are pressed to a throat. Their mutual hatred morphed into a monstrous, obsessive need to prove superiority over one another, until the madness seeped deeper into the bone marrow than ANY chronic illness could ever reach. They needed each other the way that the ocean needs the moon in order to churn and be alive.

'I won't let anybody make you bleed.' 'I'm the only one who is allowed to kill you.' 'But first, I'll kill all of the shame in you.'

Eventually, a symbolic prince is cast aside-- when the black and the white swan are not forced to contend against one another for a crown forged with invisible expectations-- when they do not feel the need to wear the identity of a society that did not see them as human, they find themselves unable to resist each other.

The repo man chuckles, and sighs, the sound echoing against the walls of the warehouse. The butterfly knife spins, and spins, and spins.

"I don't think you have the stomach to hear the full extent of what he means to me. You wouldn't get it."

Opposites certainly attract, once the opposing force no longer has control over their perceptions of each other.

The hatred vanished mutually without a word an extremely long time ago, and was replaced with something else.

It's grotesque, vulnerable, and burns like hunger. And he refuses to starve.

Thinking of You - March 🥺 2024 - Leo

Whole of their energy towards Leo: 4 Wands rev

Feelings: Knight of Cups

Intentions: 8 Wands rev

Actions: Temperance rev

Something with you is “a trap” to this person and they don’t want to commit to it. For someone it’s your mom, for others it’s a partner. Could be a partner that has to deal with your/a baby mama/daddy (or rather, they refuse). There may have already been a marriage and this person has made up their mind they’re never doing that again. They could also just be non committal and not ready, it’s that simple. If a parent, they think you’re unreliable and can’t commit to things, or they’re being supportive to you through a situation that causes you to be out of sorts in this way. Could be your co-parent if you have one.

They don’t want to be without you, they keep their judgments or perceptions to themselves but they see you as unreliable and selfish, out for yourself only, and it causes the relationship between you to not be stable. Knight of Cups shows they love you, or they know you love them, and they want to be fair to you & nice. That doesn’t mean giving you what you want if it’s not what they want though. Intentions are making no move towards growth, not expanding, not moving in, not getting engaged, no more kids, not even really talking about it or if you have then it’s “I said what I said”. They’re not budging. Actions are this person getting impatient with deliberation and playing around with their heart maybe - if it’s them. Or getting impatient with you doing the same. Someone is irritated how long it’s taken for someone to act and they’re still not acting, idk if there’s pressure or what but I don’t see any minds changing. This is a person that probably doesn’t give direct answers to any question, they don’t like to commit to things generally, especially love. Or they address it one time and there’s no convincing them otherwise.

Messages:

Their side:

- You belong with me.

- There’s no one else for me.

Your side:

- Cannot Handle Reality 😵‍💫

- You are too much for me 💯

Possible signs:

Heavy Libra, Aries & Sagittarius

If you’re dealing with:

The Chariot can talk about travel, wherever that may apply, but overall this is about your ambitions and pure willpower to overcome any obstacles in front of you. Maybe others’ as well, you could work or team up with some of these people, they could be helping you achieve your goals, or influencing them.

Aries - disappointed you’re holding grudges with them, or they are, someone was hurt and not letting it go, could be regarding money / a position on something, or holding onto it, could be this person

Taurus - blocked communication, feels there’s no other option & it’s the right thing to do

Gemini - obsessed with you, wants you, willing to wait *forever* for the opportunity to be with you, intends to do everything they can for it 😍

Cancer - loves you, finds you extremely attractive, loves the way you do things, but maybe not necessarily *just* you - or switch it, someone gets off on getting attention

Leo - loves working with you, I heard “the dream team”, no matter the relationship

Virgo - thinks you’re hot 🥵 but keeps it a secret, planning how they want to handle that

Libra - ended this for a reason, they feel like they’ve been honest with you about it

Scorpio - doesn’t care, moving on - or switch

Sagittarius - hoping a wish comes true, or you do, they/you have put a lot of time into something

Capricorn - done doing things for the wrong reasons, maybe acting controlling or materialistic, someone bit their head off or will if they don’t quit (you?) - or switch it

Aquarius - there’s no romantic feelings growing between you, but they’re honest and a good person to talk to

Pisces - busy trying to clean up some disaster that came out of nowhere, could be financial or work related & they’re open about it

When I was a kid, I desperately craved contact with the other world. I was naturally interested in all things spooky and mysterious, but more importantly, I found the world I lived in drab, suffocating, painful, and embarrassing. I certainly had serious problems with depression from a very early age, but it's fair to suggest that maybe my childhood obsession with suicide was partially inspired by the idea that if I died, I would go somewhere better, somewhere more beautiful and interesting. Because I was so disposed, I collected an unfortunate roster of destructive friends who were happy to exploit my eagerness to believe in such things. From grade school all the way through high school (by which time I really should have been savvier but OH WELL), I always seemed to know someone who dominated my life by claiming that they had some kind of connection to the other world--typically in the form of channeling paranormal entities who, oftener than not, got me to do all sorts of things I didn't want to do, that were really bad for me, just because my happiness seemed so dependent on my faith that these things could be real.

I don't like to talk about that stuff in detail (so don't ask), but it did something to my worldview beyond just making me distrust other people. I guess I'd call myself a skeptic now, but not in the sense of being atheistic; it's more that I feel a need to separate the chaff from the wheat, to conscientiously reject everything that justifies suspicion, so that only true mysteries remain, untainted by bad company. Now that I'm more or less writing full time, I find that all of my projects have to do with the madness of faith, the ineffable quality of subjective reality, and predators who exploit the virtue of open-mindedness.

I do believe that a lot of what we call "hauntings" come from people. I find it relatively easy to swallow the proposal that poltergeitic activity and psychokinesis are one and the same symptom of, say, a troubled child full of energy with nowhere to put it; in fact, I saw evidence of this once, around an especially disturbed "friend". But speaking less literally, I also think that a haunted atmosphere grows up around convergences of troubled people. Even if a team of professionals from the Rhine Research Center wouldn't be able to detect anything untoward, the sense of being haunted would be no less real for the people involved.

For several years between college and my marriage, I lived in a little new fab Brooklyn duplex with two old classmates. Yet somehow, it was only several years later, after I moved out, that I started to hear that our apartment was haunted. I don't know how I could have missed this, and I strongly suspected that some new, shared perception of theirs had been retrofitted onto our past. I couldn't imagine how anyone could perceive any form of subtle energy in that place, with our landlords downstairs having raging parties three days a week, their roosters crowing four or five hours a day, and the mice noisily chewing up the insides of the building every night. I basically rolled my eyes at the idea, especially because of the person who first told me.

One of my ex-roommates, T, who still lived in the place, met my fiance and I out one night to introduce his new boyfriend. The boyfriend was too young, acted even younger, and when he wasn't telling exaggerated-sounding stories about himself, he cued T to tell stories about him instead. He particularly insisted that T explain that the apartment was haunted. What followed were elaborate stories of appliances turning on and off on their own, objects flying across rooms, locked doors swinging open, and footprints appearing in the protective salt circle around their bed. The boyfriend insisted that T show a photo of the salt, in which strange sigils supposedly manifested overnight. The photo displayed what looked like the word "FAG" rising to the top of a bowl of alphabet soup. My fiance and I were utterly mortified.

At least two other people who lived in that place substantiated the claim that it was wildly, spectacularly haunted, although it bothered me that this had never come up during any of the years we all cohabitated. However, that's not to say that it wasn't an exceedingly dark environment. During that time, T had two long term boyfriends who were delusional, controlling and violent; I brought in my own psychotic abuser, who made all of our lives hell; another roommate brought a woman with whom he would share a doomed marriage, who loudly criticized him in front of us for embarrassing symptoms of severe depression; we briefly housed a couple we almost never saw, but who we could hear shouting and throwing things; and, in truth, we were all functioning alcoholics at that time. Those were not good days, and whatever you think "energy" is, together we created and bathed in quite a lot of bad energy. I barely got out with my sanity intact, after which T picked an incredibly nasty and protracted fight with me over a litany of things I had supposedly done and said throughout the last 15 years. To me, it was meaningful that this only happened after I escaped, even though I had tried repeatedly to have a constructive conversation with him while I was still there; it was like being in the grip of the Amityville house or the Overlook, a possessing entity that doesn't want to let you leave.

There's only one incident that sticks in my mind as evidence of something more than psychological disturbance. One night I brought home a copy of the great french exploitation movie DON'T DELIVER US FROM EVIL, about a pair of sociopathic teens who go on a satanic, ultimately suicidal rampage. As I gazed on the final image of the two girls burning, I said, my god, B really needs to see this, and made a note of it. B was a friend of a friend with whom I had grown enormously close, a dark, turbulent person, highly cultured, and a certified genius. A few hours after T and I went to sleep, we were awoken by a frantic pounding on the front door; B's best friend was there to report that she had committed suicide. We stayed up all night talking. In the morning, I perversely chose to go all the way to work in order to tell my boss that I couldn't come in that day; I just didn't think I could do it over the phone. But, as T and I stepped outside, we were shocked by the sight of a huge, rusted black hearse parked in front of our house. It seemed to belong to the derelict car lot across the street, but for us, it may as well have fallen out of the sky. Later that day, B's friends gathered at our apartment to talk and plan. And, as we were sitting there, the building behind ours suddenly exploded into a raging inferno.

None of those things have to be more than coincidences, but together, they hold such meaning for me that I don't think it's worth arguing about their true identity. Above all else, they are defined by what I feel I experienced: something from the other world. I don't need to worry about the collective madness of my friends, or my own vulnerability to certain unfalsifiable notions. I know where I was, at least in those 24 hours. I was in a haunted house.

Why SEO is All About User Experience [UX]: The Truths No One Tells You

If you’re involved in any aspect of digital marketing, no doubt you’ve heard countless tips and tactics for optimizing websites and content “for SEO.” Focus keywords, meta tags, backlinks, site speed...you likely have a grasp of conventional technical SEO best practices. But here’s the little-known truth: While that technical stuff is important, today SEO is ultimately all about crafting amazing user experiences. Surprised? You’re not alone. Many marketers remain fixated on nitty-gritty SEO factors while losing sight of the bigger picture: Your website's user experience IS your SEO strategy now. In this comprehensive guide, I’ll explain why optimizing for compelling user experiences aligns perfectly with optimizing for higher Google rankings in 2024 and beyond. I’ll reveal how seamless site UX directly impacts search ranking factors. I’ll walk through actionable best practices for merging UX design and SEO, supported by true stories from the SEO trenches. By the end, you’ll understand why UX - not keywords - represents the SEO opportunity hiding in plain sight at most organizations. Let’s get started! Why User Experience (UX) is the SEO Opportunity No One Sees Across my 12 years in the SEO game, I’ve witnessed online search evolve radically. Back in the 2000s and early 2010s, ranking was a game of gaming the system. Cramming keywords onto pages. Rows of hidden text. Thousands of junky links from low-quality sites. Doorway pages built only for bots. Remember those days? Search engines definitely do! But in recent years, Google and other search engines have cracked down HARD on shady tactics. Algorithms have grown extremely sophisticated at assessing relevance and quality. The net results? SEO success in 2024 comes not from sneaky tricks, but from satisfying user needs consistently across the entire website experience. But when I talk to teams at many companies still mired in outdated SEO perceptions, they remain laser-focused on technical site factors and content keyword targeting. They’re stuck in the past! They don’t realize that today, search engines interpret nearly EVERY aspect of UI and UX as signals of quality and relevance. That’s why I tell these teams: Want to leapfrog competitors in SEO? Forget keywords. Obsess over site UX! That message is often met with blank stares. Improving site UX sounds time-consuming and intangible. They want quicker wins. But once they see direct examples of how UX impacts SEO, the lights start clicking on. They realize UX optimization offers an enormous opportunity hiding in plain sight. So, in this guide, I want to open YOUR eyes to the powerful but unknown relationship between SEO and UX. I want to show you why optimizing user experience is now the #1 way to rank higher in search...even if you’ve never thought about SEO and UX together before! Let’s get started. Core Web Vitals: Google's Official UX Metrics I know what some of you are thinking: What exactly does user experience (UX) have to do with search engine optimization (SEO)? They seem totally separate! Fair reaction. But in reality, creating excellent UX now directly influences your pages' rankings in Google. Don’t just take my word for it. Google itself recently introduced a set of official metrics called Core Web Vitals that assess real-world UX. And Google has explicitly stated it will incorporate these UX metrics as ranking signals moving forward. In other words, Google now grades your pages’ user experience and SEO together based on these Core Web Vitals: Largest Contentful Paint (LCP): Measures how quickly the main visual content loads. Affects perceived load speed. First Input Delay (FID): Measures responsiveness when users first click or tap. Affects perceived interactivity. Cumulative Layout Shift (CLS): Measures visual stability as elements shift on-screen. Affects perceived visual quality. By focusing on optimizing Core Web Vitals, you’re directly improving both site UX and SEO in Google’s eyes. It’s a complete 1:1 overlap! So, any lingering notions that UX is unrelated to SEO can be tossed out the window. UX deficiencies will soon translate directly into SEO underperformance...and vice versa. Google is essentially forcing companies to realize: Want high rankings? Provide excellent user experiences! This paradigm shift might seem inconvenient to teams entrenched in legacy SEO workflows. But I believe it’s a very positive change overall. See, while technical SEO certainly has value, user experience has always been the deeper determinant of long-term success. UX and SEO have always gone hand-in-hand. Google is just making this truth painfully explicit now. And that level of transparency will empower brands willing to embrace this new outlook to gain an advantage. So, with that context around Core Web Vitals and Google’s focus on UX, let’s explore specific ways site user experience impacts SEO... UX Elements That Directly Influence SEO Now that Google has codified UX signals into its official ranking algorithm, we have definitive proof that optimizing user experience also optimizes SEO. But you don’t need to just take Google’s word for it. Specific elements of on-site UX have always correlated with higher SEO performance. Let's walk through exactly how site UX and SEO are intertwined: Page Load Speed Faster page loads improve UX by allowing users to access content more quickly. For SEO, fast speeds also signal technical competence to search engines. Slow load times historically correlated with lower mobile rankings. Optimizing page speed through techniques like compression, caching, lazy loading and code minification boosts user experience AND SEO together. Mobile Optimization With growing mobile search usage, providing excellent UX on smartphones is a must. If sites don't adapt, Google penalizes them through lower mobile rankings. Using responsive design, minimizing taps and optimizing forms for "fat finger" input enhances mobile UX. This mobile-readiness also earns SEO rewards. Site Architecture A logical IA with organized navigation helps users easily find desired content. For SEO, a sensible site structure also makes it easier for bots to crawl, index and understand pages in relation to each other. Improving site architecture boosts real world usability AND search engine crawl efficiency simultaneously. Internal Linking Links between related site content enable intuitive user flows. But they also signify relevance to search bots, spreading "link equity" that aids ranking. Crafting contextual internal links that guide users aids SEO by illuminating the connections between pages. Content Quality High-quality content keeps users engaged on-site, directly improving bounce rates and time-on-page - key SEO metrics. Useful, comprehensive content also earns more organic links and social shares which search engines view as signals of trust and authority. So optimizing content for users has compounding SEO benefits. More value and engagement = higher rankings. Anchor Text Anchor text on links describes what users will find when clicking. But it also provides search bots context about page topics and relationships. Content-based anchor text aids both user wayfinding AND search engine understanding of relevance between pages. I could go on, but you get the idea... Nearly every UX factor that improves real visitor satisfaction also signals value to search algorithms. User experience optimization IS on-page SEO today! This intrinsic overlap is why I tell all my clients: Want to supercharge your SEO results? Start with UX! But while the SEO value of UX is clear in theory, what does this look like in practice? Let's go through some real-world examples... Real Examples of UX Improvements Lifting SEO Stepping back from the specifics, here is the simple process I’ve seen work wonders for hundreds of sites: 👍 1. Identify pages with strong SEO potential. You want ones already ranking decently but with room to advance - say bottom of page 1 to top of page 1. These have existing authority and optimization but can still gain ground. 👍 2. Run in-depth UX reviews on those pages. Assess against established UX heuristics and guidelines. Document all issues hurting user success like confusing IA, undefined CTAs, dense text, broken formatting, etc. 👍 3. Address those UX flaws methodically. Assign clear owners and timelines. 👍 4. After UX fixes go live, track SEO KPIs. Compare post-UX-optimization metrics to the previous baseline. When this process is followed diligently, I’ve seen enormous SEO surges again and again from UX lifts alone. Let me share some quick examples: Example 1: Blog Post Page - Issue: Keyword-optimized but lengthy walls of text. No visual hierarchy or formatting. Small text difficult to scan. - Fix: Broke text into subheads, short paragraphs. Added bullet lists and bolded key points. Improved paragraph styling and spacing. - Result: Decreased bounce rate and increased pages per session. Search clicks jumped 20%. Google ranking improved from #8 to #4 within 2 weeks. Example 2: Category Page - Issue: Generic title tags and meta descriptions across all categories like "Products". Slow mobile load speed. - Fix: Created unique, keyword-rich titles and meta for each category. Optimized images and enabled caching to improve mobile speed. - Result: 25% increase in organic traffic within 1 month. Mobile load speed improved from 6+ seconds to sub-2 seconds. Example 3: Product Page - Issue: No product description for context. Technical spec sheet only. Small, cluttered layout on mobile. - Fix: Added helpful product summary section. Enlarged images and CTAs for mobile. Simplified specs into table. - Result: Conversions per session improved 11%. Google rankings increased to top three positions for core product terms. You get the idea right? Even seemingly small UX fixes can catalyze significant SEO gains because every element of user experience feeds into search perception. But here’s a crucial warning: Don’t go overboard! You should optimize pages for users first, not bots. Avoid dramatic rewrites or restructuring solely to chase keywords. That creates a disjointed Frankenstein UX that actually hurts long-term rankings. SEO should flow naturally from a focus on understanding and satisfying user needs across the entire customer journey. That holistic process intrinsically leads to higher rankings. So, if you only take one lesson from this guide, make it this: See every UX optimization not just as a way to immediately boost conversions, but also a way to build your SEO foundations at the same time. By proactively layering in UX and SEO synergy, your site will organically rise in the rankings over time. Common Concerns and Challenges with UX and SEO By this point, I hope I’ve convinced you that optimizing for user experience also optimizes for higher Google rankings. They are two sides of the same coin. However, I realize that strategically aligning UX and technical SEO can present challenges, especially for larger companies. Let's discuss some common concerns: 😶‍🌫️ Concern: Our website is massive. Improving UX across everything would take forever! Response: Totally true. That's why I suggest focusing first on pages that already have decent rankings but still have headroom to advance. Get those quick SEO wins from UX lifts, then tackle other pages in priority order. 😶‍🌫️ Concern: We have separate teams for UX design and SEO. More coordination seems difficult. Response: Yes, adding cross-functional collaboration does take concerted effort. But the enhanced organic visibility is worth breaking down those silos. Start small with regular knowledge sharing meetings to build alignment. 😶‍🌫️ Concern: Our current site design and IA is dictated by other factors. Changing for UX's sake will be disruptive. Response: Approaching large-scale UX initiatives will definitely take care and coordination. Start with smaller low-risk enhancements first. As the SEO value becomes clear, leadership will become more receptive to further optimization. 😶‍🌫️ Concern: Many of our products require complex flows. Dramatically simplifying the UX isn't feasible. Response: Yes, meeting diverse user needs often requires navigating nuanced tradeoffs. Not every experience can be distilled into three easy steps. Do what's possible incrementally while staying true to required functionality. The challenges are real, but none are insurmountable. UX and SEO alignment won't happen overnight. But progress compounds exponentially over time. Those able to overcome organizational inertia will pull ahead. Final Thoughts on UX as the Future SEO Opportunity Alright, we've covered a ton of ground here! Let's wrap up with some key takeaways: - Google now explicitly incorporates UX signals like Core Web Vitals into ranking algorithms. UX is SEO. - Optimizing page speed, site architecture, content quality and more inherently boosts conversions AND rankings in parallel. - Fixing even simple UX flaws on priority pages can spark significant organic visibility gains. Think 20%+ clicks overnight! - Shoot for quick SEO wins first, then tackle broader UX initiatives across the site over time. Momentum builds on itself. - Recognize UX optimization as a long-term SEO investment that boosts performance year after year. So, are you now convinced that focusing on user experience represents the biggest new opportunity in SEO? I hope so! SEO will only get more competitive and nuanced in the years ahead. Google will continue raising the bar on understanding user intent and satisfaction. Brands that internalize UX's decisive impact on rankings will gain a lasting edge. Those still stuck in outdated SEO tactics will fade into obscurity. The choice is yours. Will you seize the massive potential of UX optimization to dominate search rankings in 2024 and beyond? Or will you cling to the past while competitors fly by optimizing for site experience? I think the smart strategy is clear. Let me know if you need any help getting started down the path of UX and SEO nirvana! Read the full article

'We’ve all geeked out about something at some point. But when the charming David Tennant does it, it feels like a reassuring pat on the back. You know him best from shows like “Doctor Who” and “Broadchurch,” but did you also know he’s a fountain of wisdom?

Here are some of his most memorable quotes.

1. “I still am a geek, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I see no shame in having an unhealthy obsession with something.”

Unapologetically embracing our passions is a form of self-acceptance. David reminds us it’s more than okay to be enthusiastic about what we love.

2. “I was hugely formed by stories I was told as a child whether that was in a book, the cinema, theatre or television and probably television more than any medium is what influenced me as a child and formed my response to literature, story-telling and, therefore, the world around me.”

Stories are powerful tools in shaping who we become. David’s reflection emphasizes how media, especially TV, can mold our perceptions and values.

3. “I’m a good person, I hope. But I’m never as good as I want to be, never as nice as I want to be, never as generous as I want to be.”

Striving for self-improvement is natural. Even those we admire have their own internal battles.

4. “To have someone who’s got a strong individual voice that is allowed to be heard is quite increasingly rare. These people need to be cherished.”

In a world of noise, authentic voices are treasures. Standing by and supporting these unique perspectives is vital.

5. “And the very fact of how you speak somehow influences who you are. The way you move, the way you think, it seeps into your being, and it’s quite hard to really break that down entirely.”

The power of expression goes beyond words. Our chosen form of communication shapes our identity.

6. “Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80. It’s not the time that matters, it’s the person.”

Life’s value isn’t in its duration but its depth. Make every moment count!

7. “When you’re older, you want to be scared because you understand more where the boundaries between fantasy and reality are, and I suppose they are more blurred the younger you are.”

Fear evolves with understanding. Age provides a clearer lens on the divide between imagination and reality.

After diving deep into David’s thoughts, one thing’s for sure — this man’s wisdom goes beyond his acting roles. Dive into your passions, embrace your inner geek, and always cherish those who stand out.'

mine — katsuki bakugou

yandere! katsuki bakugou x reader

cw: yandere au, 3rd year bakugou, violence, reader got female genitalia, anger, off-“screen” murder, mention of (minor) character death, blood, lucidness, possessiveness, degradation, manipulation, stalking, threats, masturbation, implication of sex, swearing, assault, narcissism, horror, slightly delusional katsuki, panic attack, non con, mention of suicide

- I do not condone any of the behavior here, nor do I try to romanticize it. (definition: make it seem like a good thing) any future/current dark fics are purely for entertainment purposes. Also, I don’t think bakugou would EVER do this- I’m just using some dark traits he used to have and twisting them to fit this situation. Not completely proof read and edited, I am exhausted right now I’m sorry. I say some mean things about some characters but I don’t mean it 💗

words: 1.8k

𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝚃𝙾 𝙱𝙽𝙷𝙰 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃 // 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝚃𝙾 𝚈𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

WHY WON’T YOU LOOK AT ME.

Poor little Y/N. You’ve caught the Big Bad Wolf’s attention. Ready to snatch you up and drag you into the deepest parts of the forest where no one will ever find you.

You’ll be all mine, and I’ll be the only thing you’ll ever have to see again.

You’ve been in the same class for 3 years now- and all he had to show for it is an occasional wave, and a shy little “Hi Bakugou” every morning that made his heart leap out of his chest.

Enough for most, but not for him.

In turn, he would tsk. Facing away and setting his head down on the desk- attempting to hide the roaring blush adorning his cheeks and the subtle shuffling in his pants- the way your voice alone could make his balls tighten in need.

Still- you give him merely a glance. He is always around you, but your attention is given to someone else.

Any extra would overlook his grumbling for typical-Katsuki doing his own thing. In reality, he’s holding himself back from snapping and taking you by force.

He wants you to come to him.

You have no reason not to. He’s perfect. Probably the best student to ever enter U.A. High, and on path to become the best pro hero to ever graduate from it.

Coming first in both the Entrance Exams AND the sports festival- a victory he still denies, holding some of the highest grades in class- 3rd only to some geek girl he could easily out-rank in combat and that shitty half n’ half. Even perceptiveness, intellect, and determination that can rival dumb Deku.

He even possesses great skills in cooking and music- Katsuki is a natural-born genius. Anybody who isn’t conscious towards his incredible talents might as well be living under a rock-

Unbeknownst to you, he’s giving you the generous chance to decide when you’ll be his. But his patience wears thinner every day.

It would have only taken a second to turn around in your seat and notice his piercing red eyes glaring at the back of your head.

So why don’t you notice me.

-

He doesn’t understand why it’s you he obsesses about. He can’t even remember when this whole mess started.

He tried denying his feelings. But quickly- they built up and festered inside him, begging to come out. Love, possessiveness, same thing.

Whether it be watching your twist and turn in the obstacle course- then running to the nearest bathroom to furiously grip his cock.

Snatching your chapstick when you’re not looking and rubbing it all around his own lips- imagining that’s what your lips would taste like if you just kissed him-

Restraining you during combat training by wrapping his arms around you- squeezing your breast a little more than necessary. Pinning you to the floor until you admit defeat.

Or even sneaking into your dorm while you’re in the shower to grab a new pair of panties from your dirty laundry, adding it to the stash he keeps hidden under his bed.

Stalking you. Keeping you close at all times without you even knowing it.

Indeed, he knows he’s a sick and twisted human being.

But by now he hardly cares- he’s worked too hard to ever even imagine of changing his perfect target. Nobody is more deserving of you than him.

So if he has to confront, threaten, and beat every single person in this stupid school to monopolize you for himself- he gladly will. Anyone who goes againts that is challenging him.

He scoffs anytime a boy approaches you- it’s well known around school that anyone who attempts to buddy up with you mysteriously ends up in a hospital room with no recollection of what happened. People even started seeing you as a sign of bad luck.

He’s nice enough to allow you some friends though. But only ones who will guarantee you’ll be around him as much as possible.

So you sit with him, Kirishima, racoon eyes, dunce face, and tape boy in lunch. No one else. Right in front of him.

You’re chatting away with Mina, but unusually, something special came up in conversation.

He always stays focused on his lunch- switching between listening in and day dreaming about bending you over the lunch table and grinding on your ass-

Katsuki’s stomach dropped. His eyes widened- what did Mina just say?

There’s a boy in the management department, a quirkless 2nd year nobody smart enough to somehow get into U.A.

And he asked you out on a date after school.

Shit.

No.

No no no no-

No- this isn’t how it’s supposed to-

My throat burns.

When did he- when did you-

You’re going to say no, right?

I cant breathe.

You don’t like anyone- I know this

I know everything about you- I-

My chest hurts-

You’re mine.

And if he thinks I’ll share then I’ll-

“Mina stop being so loud please...” your delicate little voice whispered.

The rest of the table already took notice of what was going on- bombarding you with questions that made you flustered.

“Woah woah- Y/n, what’s your answer?” dunce face peeps out, Bakugou swore he could smack that grin off his face right then and there.

Katsuki turns to look at you again- a chill traveling down his spine once he made eye contact, but your stare quickly fell to the floor.

“I’m not sure yet- probably not.. ha.” You shrugged- a light pink dusting over your cheeks. The others, satisfied, dismiss the topic.

Had it have been anybody else observing, they wouldn’t have thought much of it. But Katsuki knows you like the back of his hand. Successfully deceiving him would be harder than taking down All For One.

You’re lying... aren’t you? In front of him too- All because of this quirkless fucking loser-

Katsuki hates lies.

.

.

.

I’m going to kill him.

-

The walk back to your dorm was disappointing to say the least. But you can’t expect someone to be in the best of moods when they’ve been stood up.

You almost couldn’t believe it either- he had seemed so kind and genuine that you stood there for an extra 2 hours. But that’s your luck with boys-

‘I hope you got a good laugh out of it, jerk.’ You huffed before inserting the key into your rooms lock.

Turning on the lights, you allow your eyes to adjust for a moment before stepping inside and walking to your desk.

“You were waiting for that jackass for so long I almost started thinking you would never come back...”

You let out a startled cry before dropping your keys and whirling around in a flash- recognizing Katsuki’s back as he slowly closes the door.

“Bakugou? Why are you-“

“was he really that special.”

“What do you mean was....“ It’s then you noticed the blood dripping down his arms and hands- your door decorated with the same shade of crimson.

“oh my god.. Bakugou,”

That’s why the poor boy never showed up.

You knew about Katsuki’s “little” crush on you for a while now. His stares weren’t exactly the most subtle after all-

You found his uncertainty adorable, heck, a part of you was waiting for him to confess. But you would have never imagined his infatuation went this far.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. He’ll never love you as much as I do.”

He lifts his head, and your eyes meet his. Bloodshot- as if he’d been crying, but the evident smirk on his face showed nothing but pure malice.

“Not that he’ll ever get the chance to anyways”

He’s too fast, too close to the door, he has all the advantage in this situation. But you have to try. You have to leave this room at this very moment or you may never make it out alive. There’s no reasoning with him.

You clutch your heart. He steps forward, and you instinctively bolt to the door.

A few easy moves and he has you pinned by the neck on the ground, legs bent and used to hold your arms from jerking too much. His free hand is outstretched, creating small explosions that made you automatically stiffen your movement.

“Bakugou please- I won’t ever tell anyone, we can forget about this and I’ll pretend it neve-“

“I don’t need you to be quiet. I’m the boy who rejected a direct offer from the League of Villains, one of the best students in U.A. high- even if you do rat me out, they’ll never believe you...”

His grip on your neck tightened- nails cutting through skin and little droplets of blood start showing up. His hand starts heating up and a panic courses through your veins.

“I’ll kill you before they even begin to suspect me.”

Choked sobs escape your lips from the pain and fear surging through your body- “I- I thought you said you lo-loved me.”

“I do... that’s why you’ll be mine forever.”

He leaned down, low enough for you to feel his warm breath- then used his tongue to sadistically lick off the tears running down your cheek, a salty but satisfying flavor entering his mouth.

“In this life, and the next. It’s up to you when we see the later.”

You nod, hoping he relaxes the pressure on your neck. His face softens, something you swore you would never see in Bakugou. He releases his hold.

“You made me mess up your neck, next time don’t be so mean.”

He tilted your chin up, observing the scratches and bruises littered all around it. As soon as he determines there’s no serious injury, he picks you up to lay you on your bed. Climbing in next to you and wrapping an arm around your hips.

“Couples cuddle like this all the time don’t they.”

You gave him silence, although he didn’t mind. With one glare he had you shuffling to move closer to his chest.

“they also kiss.”

You know that right now, there’s no point in fighting. So you give in to what he wants in hopes that one day, you’ll break free from the hold he secretly had on you for so long. You’ll play along. You’ll survive.

You shudder as his hands reach to cradle your cheek, wiping the blood of the boy all over it. He loved it. It proved he won. He gave a light kiss to your lips before attacking your neck, set on putting a new type of bruise on you.

“You should start calling me Katsuki.”

“Ka- Katsuki.” You barely managed to whimper out.

He caresses your hair, cooing soft whispers into your ear in an attempt to calm your sniffling. An action you would have seen as sweet if it weren’t for the constant threat of death over your shoulder.

Your breath hitches in horror as you feel his warm hands trail down your body, gripping your smooth inner thigh before delicately starting to drag his fingers up.

“You know...

You silently beg for him to stop.

“There’s one more thing couples do.”

-if anyone is interested- should I make a part 2? (Future edit, I’m not satisfied with this, I might end up rewriting in the future)

© 2021 k3lynn, do not modify or repost without permission

Boyfriend!Nagito analysis

Mod Mikan is bored with her head empty with nothing but Nagito (as always). I wanted to do a Nagito misconception post thingy, but I was like “Nahhhh~....” So I’ll just do a Boyfriend!Nagito analysis (which is also kinda a rant thingy, cause I was in the mood to rant a bit) :)

This isn’t even me simping, if Nagito was just a neutral character to me, I still think he’d be like this as a significant other 

I will use the “Five languages of Love” as my basis for this analysis: 

To summarize, the five love languages are loving words, physical affection, gifts, time spent together, and lending a helping hand. Here is why I personally believe Nagito would be fluent in all five of these acts. But first, some basic information about Nagito and his views on love: 

I get it. Nagito never had anyone that loved him, or anyone that he would love. No one was there to comfort him when he was going through so many hardships in his life, which made him develop a ‘cheerful, laid-back’ persona he can hide his true emotions behind. He thinks his problems are ‘too worthless’ for people to care about. He tells Hajime during his final FTE that his one true desire in life is to be loved. If you somehow managed to break that wall he puts between himself and others, and earn a place in his life as someone he can love, BAM! He would be the most devoted and faithful partner. He would try so hard to keep that one person that makes him feel like a real human being and like he’s worth expressing his real feelings. Even if it meant doing an ample amount of research, reading books, watching videos, anything for his love! Nagito is aware that people doesn’t like him and he believes he doesn’t deserve for his yearning for love to become a reality. But again, if you are successful in breaking that wall and convince him that you truly and deeply love him, he would do everything--and I mean A N Y T H I N G--in his power to make sure that you are aware he loves and cherishes you everyday 

Now let’s move onto Nagito and the love languages

Words of affirmation: This one is probably a given, but Nagito speaks very highly of the other ultimates and puts them on a pedestal. His way of praises and affectionate words may come off as intense and strong, but in his heart, he truly cares and love his classmates. He doesn’t spend much time with most of them, yes, but keep in mind that his man doesn’t have a most experience with social interactions and is afraid of scaring them off. It’s also canon that he keeps his distance from people he likes because he just wants to protect them from his luck hurting them. The only people he actually got to spend time and get to know was Hajime, Chiaki and occasionally Kazuichi. Nagito genuinely respects and appreciates the Ultimates. Yes, he confuses the ‘hope they embody’ with pure, platonic love, but it comes to show that he really does care for them. Everything he does is never for himself, rather for this classmates. While some people may argue that “He doesn’t really care for them as people, he just likes what they can offer due to their talent” I get some people that may think like this. If you haven’t watched the anime, I can kinda understand where you are coming from with this depiction. But you have to understand that Nagito believes he’s going absolute good for their ‘hope to shine brighter’. His actions aren’t purely to be a dick, he does this for them! 

Nagito’s obsession with hope is twisted, but not his definition of hope. Hope literally means a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. Synonyms include ambition, aspiration and dream. This means that Nagito will do anything for his classmates “Dreams to shine brighter”, telling them that he will do anything for them to achieve their goals. Why would someone that secretly doesn’t give two shits about his classmates go to the ends of the earths just for his classmates? I know, I know. His actions aren’t the best. They are harmful and dangerous--but he means well and his heart is in a good place. I will speak more of this in acts of service, but I will stick with his words of affirmation right now

Praises and compliments always leaves Nagito’s mouth, at least before chapter 4. He goes on about the Ultimates being ‘symbols of hope’ and will even talk bad about himself to make them feel better. While this isn’t the best way to show you love someone, is it wrong that he, in fact, does praise and compliments the Ultimates. He verbally shows his love and admiration through praise, and even compliments some of them as people. He calls Mahiru “High-spirited” Chiaki “Pretty perceptive” on their character relationship chart, hell! He even compliments Hajime on being ‘smart’ even when he found out he was talentless! Yes, people will argue and say he was being sarcastic, but just read his wiki page and it will say “He says that he genuinely and sincerely means everything he says” 

After all, he did get the lying despair disease in chapter 3, which was the opposite of his usually personality 

Physical Touch: Nagito is touch-starved af. He probably wasn’t close to his parents growing up and most likely received some sort of mental and emotional abuse as well. Mixed with his luck and non-existent self esteem, it would be no surprise if his parents blamed him for a lot of bad things that happened and easily pin it on ‘his luck’. He says that he was the closest to the family dog, which implies that he was assumably treated on the same level as the dog. If Nagito had a SO, it wouldn’t be just anyone. It would be someone that he already has a deep emotionally connection with. Someone who can he can human around, and not just hide behind a smile. As soon as he can call someone his significant other, he would latch onto them like a koala. He would most definitely enjoy cuddles, hand-holding, and wrapping his arm around them. He never had anyone to lean on or cry with, so he would be very hesitant displaying physical affection at first. It’s so new to him, but then again, you didn’t just accept his feelings for nothing! Nagito is no fool--he knows that you aren’t a liar when you say that you aren’t going to leave him. He’s also pretty observant, so if he sees you frowning or pouting because he backed out on holding/cuddling you, he’d would continue with the halted affection. He just doesn’t think he deserves it. He would ask his SO with E V E R Y T H I N G that involved physical touch, even if it was just hand-holding or hugging. Get prepared to be bombarded with questions starting with “Is it okay if I (insert physical affection) with you?”. But it’s only because he wants to do it, but thinks he doesn’t deserve to “taint someone as hopeful as you with his disgusting touch”. Keep in mind the reason why he asks over and over again is because he really wants to do it. Over time in the relationship, or even if you initiated some of it, Nagito would feel like he actually deserved the love and would never take any direct contact of admiration for granted. He’d smile and, if he was feeling unusually bold that day, would even start the kiss/hug (but would feel SUPER embarrassed and ashamed later) 

Baby steps, everyone. Baby steps 

Receiving gifts: This use to be something the majority of the fandom missed about Nagito, but now, I’m sure that everyone knows about this--Nagito is loaded. He has more money than the average person spends in their life, and can pull many more winning lottery tickets whenever he wants. This is certainly a given in the fandom, and something I do agree with in the fandom. Since Nagito’s low self-confidence and his severe inferiority complex would make him constantly believe he doesn’t deserve you, yet he doesn’t want to lose the one thing that he can be himself with. He loves you and he knows it’s selfish, but he wants to be with you forever. It would be no secret that he would use his money 99.9% of the time on you. Nagito has no desire to hold onto the money or to spend it on someone that doesn’t deserve it (himself). When you become the one person that he loves and values more than hope itself, you become that thing that he can spoil and spend his wealth on. After all, someone as hopeful as you deserves only the best! Praises wouldn’t just be the only thing that would spill outta him. Almost everyday, he would surprise you with gifts to the point where it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore. Nagito is also very keen and attentive, so whatever present he’ll get you, you will obviously love it. The way your eyes light up and smile when you see something you love. Or when your face twitches and you bite your lip, seeing something you hate: You wouldn’t even have to say anything for Nagito to notice. He’s just standing next to you, smiling--and planning on what to get you next

If he can get you everything you wanted.....you wouldn’t leave him....right? 

Quality Time: It’s canon that Nagito has been alone for the as long as he can remember. Not only does his lack of social interactions and being out of touch with even his own emotions prove this, but he was basically free to do whatever he wished since he had no family left after his parents passed. He had no friends, no acquaintances, and everyone still avoids him due to his creepiness. Even when he is trying to make friends, everyone still tends to dislike him, making him feel like no one loves him. Just imagine you’ve been all alone, not even one person has stuck by your side for several years

Now you have someone that claims they love you. Someone that assures and tells you that they will never leave you. Someone that is there to lift your self-confidence back on your feet and will always be there to reassure and praise you whenever you are feeling down about yourself

You never had anyone like this before. What is this feeling exactly? 

I do admit--Nagito would be really awkward at first. But time is key! I wholeheartedly believe that Nagito will eventually sink into the touch and affection that his SO provides for him. You are his whole world--the hope light of his life. I would even add that since his SO would already have an emotional bond with him, even prior to dating, they would be the ones that would ‘keep him sane’ and guide him in the right direction. Nagito would have already spent a huge chunk of his time with them, showing his more vulnerable side and true emotions towards them. He would absolutely enjoy their company and time, making him forget all about his once lonely life without them. Without you, he can never go back to the miserable once he once had even though he thinks he deserves it. He knows it’s selfish, but hey! Can a guy, even like him, be selfish once in a while

I actually have this headcanon that he’s very clingy and so emotionally dependent on you, that he asks his SO to move in with him at such an early age, even when they are in high school. Hey, it must get pretty boring in such a spacious, empty manor like his parents’ old one. Why dread coming home to the lonely, boring life he had without you, when he can look forward to seeing his angel of hope again?! 

Of course, with your parents’ permission and all, but I feel like Nagito’s SO’s parents would love him! 

Even if you aren’t that clingy or into PDA, Nagito will totally respect your boundaries and comfort. He prioritizes your needs before his own and will absolutely back off if you start to feel the slightest discomfort. You probably don’t even have to say anything, just one quick look at your face would do the trick. Nagito can read you like a fucking novel 

Acts of Service: It’s no secret that Nagito would go to the ends of the earths and do literally anything for his classmates. I mean, he built a bomb just so his classmates would get out of taking a test. Just imagine what he would do for his SO! No, I’m talking about killing anyone. He never kills anyone in the killing game, so I don’t think he would kill anyone for the sake of his SO. That’s probably one of the very, V E R Y few things he cannot do for his lover. But anything else, even something drastic as closing their school because of a test that was stressing them out or buying them a ‘private island in the middle of the Persian Gulf’ cause they wanted to spend winter break somewhere warm wouldn’t be a problem for him. Nagito doesn’t want his beloved hope to feel the despair he did, and he would do everything and anything in his, insane amount of, power to make sure that hope never runs out. Even if his methods are a bit...extreme, he does this because he loves you! Everything he does is solely for the ones he loves, never for himself 

Idk, maybe it’s just because I like crazy people, but I do think Nagito would literally do whatever he can think of for his SO

I said this before in my Nagito ‘unpopular opinion post’ but I’ll say it again: I see a lot of people headcanon Nagito as someone that would unintentionally and intentionally push his lover’s boundaries and limits to see them “overcome despair with hope” but I honestly wouldn’t see him doing that to his lover, at least not as much or extremely. If he would, he wouldn’t take it to the next level like he did in the killing game. Cause in Island Mode, even though he was waiting for despair to happen, he didn’t purposely inflict it. He rather wanted to spend time and have fun with Hajime. Also, I feel like his SO’s safety is his number one priority, since his luck could hurt them at any time. He would be extremely cautious if he wanted to cause ‘despair’ for their hope to ‘overcome’ it

I find many people exaggerating just how many ‘bad things’ Nagito did in the game. Yes, he does manipulate his classmate in killing him, but please exclude trial one if that is your only example! And exclude chapter 4 and 5, cause let’s face it: Learning that your idols, the ones who called ‘symbols of hope’ where actually apart of the worst terrorist group to walk this earth will make you even more batshit crazy

Nagito has been more helpful than even some of his classmates. He was the last one in chapter 2 to investigate, but at least he was more of use than Kazuichi! Nagito’s so smart and intelligent. He would plan everything out and make sure that the end result is all for his lover and nothing would get in the way of having their message heard, not his own wishes! This actually made me rethink about that famous bomb episode in the anime, and I know many people will argue that Nagito didn’t even think about the people that were in the building. But...what if he did? 

The ‘bad luck’ would be that the building would get destroyed. But the ‘good luck’ would be that no one would get hurt. Nagito probably relied on his luck to make sure no person got damaged, just the building. Yes, IT WAS STILL WRONG! But think twice before saying “Yeah, Yeah, Nagito is smart”--No. He’s fucking intelligent. He does more planning that you will ever know, and that is what makes me believe that he will do anything, even going to extremes, to fulfill his SO’s wishes. In fact, with time, I think his SO would guide his actions on the right path and make sure that he would carry out his intentions with the best actions to follow through with it. Nagito would be more calm and tamed with his SO, and wouldn’t have to rush into anything reckless or impulsive

Even in Island Mode, Nagito was more at peace without the killing game’s toxic and stressful atmosphere. Hell, he was even waiting for despair to come, but he never purposely caused it! Which is why I write in a non-despair AU. Cause I really can’t make Nagito ‘purposely’ cause despair, because while I was replaying the game, I thought to myself “Wow....the fandom needs to chill” cause he was actually one of the most helpful characters. Without him, most trials wouldn’t even have been solved! 

When I was first playing DRV2, I thought he was the ‘Kirigiri’ of the trials, not the antagonist! I know people would say “But he knew who was the blackened and didn’t even say anything” guys.......

Byakuya and Kyoko also knew in the first game, but left it up to Makoto’s ass to figure it out (I saw this meme on reddit, but Tumblr isn’t letting me link it) 

So there you go! I hope you lovelies enjoyed :)

For the First Time

humans of tumblr, friends and fans of my blog, mamma mia here we go again. ya girl is BACK and better than ever with her new obsession, criminal fuckin minds. this was such a fun one shot to write; enjoy!

Summary: You’ve been working for the FBI for 3 years now, and have never seen the sights. Spencer,  of course, volunteers to take you along for a wild ride. 

“Spence!” You called as you entered the BAU, your bag swinging wildly on your shoulder as your crazed (Y/E/C) eyes searched for the lanky doctor. Although it was mildly quiet despite the typing on a few keyboards and phones ringing here and there, the office was nowhere near as excitable and filled as it usually was on a Friday morning. The man in question poked his head out of the break room, quickly accompanied by the rest of his body as he strode across the catwalk.

“Yeah, (Y/N)?” He materialized at your side and held out a coffee mug with your name on it. You grabbed it gratefully and sucked down a few gulps before recollecting your thoughts.

“I was up half the night thinking about it, and I think I finally understand!” Spencer gave you a confused look, scrunching up his face as he thought through whatever it was he said that could have confused you.

Compared to the other members of the BAU, you were the only one who understood what he was saying at least 95% of the time- something that Spencer found both impressive and is what initially drew him to you. Here you were, 3 years later, on the anniversary of your joining the BAU. Little did you know that this was the day Spencer had realized his feelings toward you were a lot more than friendly. Nevertheless, the boy genius was terrified of how you would react, whether that be to laugh at him or possibly worse- feel sorry for him.

Taking in the confused look on his face, you giggled and your hand flew to his arm in excitement.

“The Star Trek theory you were talking about to Morgan and I yesterday- I finally figured it out!” Spencer smiled and took a careful sip of his coffee, taking in the easy-going smile that was plastered across your face and the accompanying gleam in your eyes. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, something that based on his current job, was very apparent to him. He could spend hours staring into your eyes, whether it be to distinguish each different color that presented itself and understand why your particular set of eyes were so beautiful, or to finally get some sort of a grasp on why he fell so hard for you so quickly. It would take a lifetime, he thought, to finally understand what made you so different from all the other people he had met in his lifetime.

Meanwhile, you had been going on for a solid 3 minutes about his Star Trek theory, he could only nod along, buried so far in his own thoughts that he couldn’t even hear you.

“You know?” You finally said, taking a second to catch your breath. Just like Spencer, you had a hard time with knowing when to stop talking without being told to do so. You tended to ramble, so if no one stopped you, you would go on forever.

Spencer simply smiled.

“Yeah. I know.”

Several hours had passed when you were finally able to move the mountain of paperwork from your desk to Hotch’s. You grinned, this was one of your favorite parts of paperwork days. You fiddled with the stack in your hand to reach up and knock on Hotch’s door, when you heard him already saying come in from the other side. He knew you were coming, considering how clockwork-like your work habits were.

“Hey Hotch, these need to be processed for Monday.” Hotch tried his best not to crack a smile at the smirk displayed on your face, and give you the pleasure of making him laugh. He thought you were hilarious, constantly having everyone in stitches throughout the day to make the reality of your careers a little less heavy- which is one of the reasons every person at the BAU loved you immediately. You were sarcastic and creative, and had great dad jokes to boot, ready at any opportunity.

“Thank you. Does Garcia need to see any of this to upload it into the system?” He asked, returning to the stone man he was previously.

“Nope.” You popped the P as you headed towards the door.

“(Y/L/N).” Hotch said. You turned around and he hadn’t even looked up at you. “You did some excellent work this week; grab Reid on your way out, I don’t want to see either of you for at least 3 days.” You grinned and wished him a good weekend, as he watched you walk out smiling. He shook his head and buried his head back into his work.

“Hey Professor,” You called as you bounded down the stairs. Reid flashed you a tight lipped smile as he so often did, and raised his eyebrows in response to the nickname.

“We’re done for 3 whole days!” You said as you packed your stuff haphazardly into your backpack. Spencer grinned and began packing his own things much more meticulously.

“Do you have anything exciting planned for this weekend?” He asked.

“Nah, unless you count going home to Gerald something exciting.” You said with a laugh. Reid smiled at the thought of the orange tabby that was oh so fond of him.

“Did you know that cats are actually an excellent judge of character? In a newspaper article I read from the early 90s, cats are actually extremely perceptive of humans upon first or second meeting, meaning that they can distinguish between good and bad based on a human character and emotion.” He said.

“I KNEW my cat hated Steven for a reason!” You said, recalling how your cat would do nothing but glare and his at your ex boyfriend, who ended up using you. “Do you have anything going on?” You asked. Spence shook his head, before looking at you with a small grin.

“How long have you been living in Virginia?” He asked.

“I don’t know, 3 years? Whenever I started working here I guess, why?” You hadn’t really given it much thought, it seemed like whatever life you had been living before this one seemed so far away. It hadn’t originally occurred to you that today was your 3rd anniversary of being with the BAU, and meeting Spencer.

“Have you ever been to the tourist sights?” He asked, pausing his stride outside of the elevator. You thought about it for a minute, and realized quickly where he was going with this.

“Nope! I always thought they were way too crowded for me whenever I got the free time to go.”

Spencer grinned. “Well then, Miss (Y/L/N), today is your lucky day.” You grinned back. No idea could have been better for your third anniversary of knowing and secretly loving Doctor Spencer Reid.

You had parted ways at your cars to shower and change, before meeting up around 8 pm so Spencer could show you around without tourists.

His hands were deep in his pockets as usual, as he carefully explained each monument in great detail. Considering you were a history major in college before going to FBI training and schooling, you were appreciative of Spencer’s long winded rambling, even able to inject your own knowledge in the quiet moments.

“And last but certainly not least, one of my favorite places in the city.” He said as you entered the World War II memorial. The water from the fountain was glistening in the moonlight as you took a deep breath, both from the breathless feeling Spencer gave you whenever he was around, and the sight before you. The stars and the moon lit up the night sky before you as the memorial itself framed it. No wonder this was one of Spencer’s favorite spaces, it was breathtaking. Then again, so was he. Very fitting.

“Spence…” You began, unsure where to go. You took a seat on the stairs behind you and took in the feeling in that moment, where you felt so relaxed and happy, beside your favorite person in the world.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He said, looking at you and smiling softly. “Really, really beautiful.” he whispered. You glanced in his direction to see his attention was focused on you, not the sky or the fountain beneath it. Your breath hitched in your throat.

“(Y/N),” Spencer swallowed hard and licked his lips quickly, a habit he had when he was nervous about something he had to say. “I-I don’t know how to say this but I’ve kind of been in love with you for about 2 years now. Sure, I knew you were beautiful the first day you stepped into the BAU but once I got to know you, the real you, when you really let your guard down and allowed me to fully understand how truly intelligent, kind, and hilarious you are is when I fell hard for you and I’m sorry it took me so long to say it but I’ve always been so afraid that you wouldn’t fe-” You grabbed Spencer’s face and pressed your lips onto his, immediately feeling him soften into the kiss after a moment of anxious surprise.

You pulled away first, your eyes wide and your mouth hanging slightly agape. Spencer just looked mildly surprised, before softening into a shy smile.

“I love you too, Spence. I knew the day I met you, that you were going to be the most unforgettable human being I had ever known.” You said softly, rubbing your thumb gently across his cheek.

“Um,” He looked down and flicked his eyes upwards, gently tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. “Can I kiss you again?”

You grinned and met him halfway, the second kiss equally as sweet as the first.

Welllp This is...Books. Lots and Lots of Books

That gif is something of a lie. Some of these books were not great. But! Some of them were very good! And some of them were marketed weird — seriously, what does qualify as YA — and some of them I read in, like, six hours and some of them I raged about for six hours after I finished them.

Or: 2020!Laura reverted to 2004!Laura and read just a lot of books and then her husband got her a Kindle and she read even more books and has thoughts on most of those books that she is now going to share with the internet while also making absurd category names. Note that these are only books I read for the first time this year. So, the list is missing some of the stuff I used as coping devices. ALSO SOME SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

FAVORITE BOOKS THAT MADE A SHITTY YEAR SLIGHTLY BETTER AND ALSO LIKELY MADE ME SWOON A BIT

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a terrifying creature arrives to demand retribution. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she knows about only from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not truly a beast, but one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled her world.

At least, he's not a beast all the time.

As she adapts to her new home, her feelings for the faerie, Tamlin, transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie she's been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But something is not right in the faerie lands. An ancient, wicked shadow is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it, or doom Tamlin-and his world-forever.

— I kid you not, I had to do a lap around the apartment after reading the second book in this series. Why didn’t I read this before? Why isn’t there more fic? Why I am constantly falling for dark-haired sad dudes in love with their wives??? I cannot rec this series enough. It’s got world building and found families, and that dark-haired sad dude, and magic and lore and banter, and it’s so good and I don’t understand why it was marketed as YA. The literary world is weird, guys.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians (and the Heroes of Olympus) by Rick Riordan

Accompany the son of the sea god Poseidon and his other demigod friends as they go on a series of quests that will have them facing monsters, gods, and conniving figures from Greek mythology. Do they have what it takes to save the Olympians from an ancient enemy?

— Straight up, how did you guys cope with Percy and Annabeth when you were kids reading this? I would have been OBSESSED. Quarantine felt like the perfect time to finally read all of these books, and I know it’s sacrilegious to like Heroes of Olympus, but I might have liked parts of that series more? Just because it felt like they were older and I was super into Percabeth being properly in love. Also, now I get why everyone was so upset about the movies. Fair.

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth's fate hinges on one girl. . . .Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She's a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister's illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai's, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world's future.

— Yet another YA series that I will admit to loving this year. Started off a little slow, but once the world building really got underway —and it gets underway — I was hooked. If I had read this at an age-appropriate time I would have been super in love Captain Carswell Thorne. I was still kind of in love with Captan Carswell Thorne. So it should come as no surprise that Cress was my favorite of the series, but I enjoyed the whole thing, really.

Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin

Two years ago, Louise le Blanc fled her coven and took shelter in the city of Cesarine, forsaking all magic and living off whatever she could steal. There, witches like Lou are hunted. They are feared. And they are burned.As a huntsman of the Church, Reid Diggory has lived his life by one principle: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. But when Lou pulls a wicked stunt, the two are forced into an impossible situation—marriage.Lou, unable to ignore her growing feelings, yet powerless to change what she is, must make a choice. And love makes fools of us all.

— YO. Y O. THIS WAS SO GOOD. World building! Magic! Marriage of convenience! Well-written enemies to lovers! As soon as I finished this, I bought the sequel. And then got upset the third book in the series isn’t out yet! That’s a frustrating theme for me this year.

The Roommate by Rosie Danan

The Wheatons are infamous among the east coast elite for their lack of impulse control, except for their daughter Clara. She's the consummate socialite: over-achieving, well-mannered, predictable. But every Wheaton has their weakness. When Clara's childhood crush invites her to move cross-country, the offer is too much to resist. Unfortunately, it's also too good to be true.

After a bait-and-switch, Clara finds herself sharing a lease with a charming stranger. Josh might be a bit too perceptive—not to mention handsome—for comfort, but there's a good chance he and Clara could have survived sharing a summer sublet if she hadn't looked him up on the Internet...

Once she learns how Josh has made a name for himself, Clara realizes living with him might make her the Wheaton's most scandalous story yet. His professional prowess inspires her to take tackling the stigma against female desire into her own hands. They may not agree on much, but Josh and Clara both believe women deserve better sex. What they decide to do about it will change both of their lives, and if they're lucky, they'll help everyone else get lucky too.

— I LOVED IT. L O V E D. As I told Justin “there was more porn than I was expecting,” in that porn and the adult film industry was a legitimate plot point and not just a part of Josh’s character, but it was incredibly well written and interesting and I cared about the plot. Sometimes I also wanted to shake Clara, but that was kind of the point.

The Marriage Game by Sara Desai

After her life falls apart, recruitment consultant Layla Patel returns home to her family in San Francisco. But in the eyes of her father, who runs a Michelin starred restaurant, she can do no wrong. He would do anything to see her smile again. With the best intentions in mind, he offers her the office upstairs to start her new business and creates a profile on an online dating site to find her a man. She doesn't know he's arranged a series of blind dates until the first one comes knocking on her door...

As CEO of a corporate downsizing company Sam Mehta is more used to conflict than calm. In search of a quiet new office, he finds the perfect space above a cozy Indian restaurant that smells like home. But when communication goes awry, he's forced to share his space with the owner's beautiful yet infuriating daughter Layla, her crazy family, and a parade of hopeful suitors, all of whom threaten to disrupt his carefully ordered life.

As they face off in close quarters, the sarcasm and sparks fly. But when the battle for the office becomes a battle of the heart, Sam and Layla have to decide if this is love or just a game.

— More well-written enemies to lovers! It’s possible! Seriously, the banter was so good. The kissing was even better. Ridiculous and interfering family is one of my favorite things, and this had it in SPADES. It also made me want to eat samosas, which is kind of my base setting, but I really wanted Indian food whenever I was reading this. Also, the end scene was so goddamn cute I cannot believe it actually happened.

Recipe for Persuasion by Sonali Dev

— The one that got away is one of my favorite tropes, and this modern version of Persuasion did it so well. Everyone was annoying, but in an almost understandable way that made me ache and I just wanted them TO KISS. And then they did kiss! And it was so good! Plus, at the risk of being a little self-indulgent, it was kind of Out of the Frying Pan esque and I liked that a lot. If there is a downside: it’s how quickly the relationship starts up again, like zero to 60 in two seconds flat, and that there were a lot of POVs. Which wouldn’t have been an issue if they’d been labeled, or weren’t bouncing around the timeline randomly. Sometimes I’d have to be like—wait, who’s talking about what?

Chef Ashna Raje desperately needs a new strategy. How else can she save her beloved restaurant and prove to her estranged, overachieving mother that she isn't a complete screw up? When she's asked to join the cast of Cooking with the Stars, the latest hit reality show teaming chefs with celebrities, it seems like just the leap of faith she needs to put her restaurant back on the map. She's a chef, what's the worst that could happen?Rico Silva, that's what.Being paired with a celebrity who was her first love, the man who ghosted her at the worst possible time in her life, only proves what Ashna has always believed: leaps of faith are a recipe for disaster.FIFA winning soccer star Rico Silva isn't too happy to be paired up with Ashna either. Losing Ashna years ago almost destroyed him. The only silver lining to this bizarre situation is that he can finally prove to Ashna that he's definitely over her.But when their catastrophic first meeting goes viral, social media becomes obsessed with their chemistry. The competition on the show is fierce...and so is the simmering desire between Ashna and Rico. Every minute they spend together rekindles feelings that pull them toward their disastrous past. Will letting go again be another recipe for heartbreak—or a recipe for persuasion...?

The Good Luck Charm by Helena Hunting

Lilah isn't sure what hurt worse: the day Ethan left her to focus on his hockey career or the day he came back eight years later. He might think they can pick up just where they left off, but she's no longer that same girl and never wants to be again.

Just when Lilah might finally be ready to let Ethan in, though, she finds out their reunion might have nothing to do with love and everything to do with improving his game. But Ethan's already lost her once, and even if it costs him his career, he'll do anything to keep from losing her again.

— HOCKEY ROM COM. HOCKEY. ROM. COM. Apparently this lady is regarded as the queen of “hockey romance,” which I kind of take offense to, but will give a pass on because this was a very cute book and everyone was cute in it and I was only marginally frustrated by those same people being idiots. As is required by rom coms. Hockey, or otherwise.

A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Fall in love, break the curse. It once seemed so easy to Prince Rhen, the heir to Emberfall. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year over and over, he knew he could be saved if a girl fell for him. But that was before he learned that at the end of each autumn, he would turn into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. That was before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope.

Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother barely holding their family together while constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, she learned to be tough enough to survive. But when she tries to save someone else on the streets of Washington, DC, she's instead somehow sucked into Rhen's cursed world.

Break the curse, save the kingdom. A prince? A monster? A curse? Harper doesn't know where she is or what to believe. But as she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what's at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

— Beauty and the Beast AU!!! Fantasy! Magic! Romance! I loved this, even when Rhen was being a whiny idiot. But he was also cursed, so like—fair. This dives into the politics of a cursed kingdom, puts a fun spin on the original fairy tale and also has a sequel. Which I read, and possibly enjoyed more. Only to realize the third book isn’t published yet, and then got annoyed by that.

QUESTIONABLY-GOOD FREE FANTASY BOOKS ON AMAZON

The Silver and Orchids Collection by Shari L Tapscott

What happens when a feisty adventuress, a lord looking to make his own way in the world, and a handsome sea captain set out to find Kalae’s rarest and most valuable flower?

Trouble—and lots of it.

— Snarky flirting! Adventure! Sword fights! Listen, this is not prize-winning fiction, but Lucia is a fun heroine, the rest of her adventure-seeking friends are an absolute delight and you don’t have to think too much while reading it. All four books wrap up their individual storylines, but help set up the next one and while the ending felt a little forced (and way too quick) I didn’t hate it enough to throw the Kindle across the room.

Forest of Firelight by Shari L. Tapscsott

After the sudden death of her brother, Princess Amalia is charged with what feels like an impossible task—she must choose the next king. Youthful thoughts of love are pushed aside as she accepts her fate, setting upon a quest throughout the kingdom to find a man worthy of her father’s throne.

Little does Amalia know, someone has already set his sights on her.

Rhys is a man of secrets, and his mission is simple: befriend the princess of Renove. Coax her to trust him, convince her to follow him.

Betray her when it’s time.

All goes according to plan until Rhys meets the princess. Amalia is a disaster. Never has he met someone so drawn to trouble. Never has he met someone so irritatingly likable.

He’s not allowed to fall for her.

She could never entrust him with a crown.

But, unbeknownst to them, their unlikely partnership might be the key to saving their entire world from a darkness that’s slowly creeping from the wounded earth that separates one kingdom from the next.

— FORBIDDEN LOVE! It’s good! Real good! I read this whole series (or the three books in it, so far) in a questionably short amount of time. Again, not the deepest story, and Amalia is occasionally frustratingly dumb. While Rhys is also sort of all-knowing in that fantasy hero sort of way? Y’know what I mean? Still, they banter very well, and eventually kiss even better.

LESS GOOD FANTASY BOOKS THAT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON AMAZON

Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

Theodosia was six when her country was invaded and her mother, the Fire Queen, was murdered before her eyes. On that day, the Kaiser took Theodosia's family, her land, and her name. Theo was crowned Ash Princess—a title of shame to bear in her new life as a prisoner.

For ten years Theo has been a captive in her own palace. She's endured the relentless abuse and ridicule of the Kaiser and his court. She is powerless, surviving in her new world only by burying the girl she was deep inside.

Then, one night, the Kaiser forces her to do the unthinkable. With blood on her hands and all hope of reclaiming her throne lost, she realizes that surviving is no longer enough. But she does have a weapon: her mind is sharper than any sword. And power isn't always won on the battlefield.

For ten years, the Ash Princess has seen her land pillaged and her people enslaved. That all ends here.

— I wanted to love this series. So much so that I read the whole thing. All three books. And I’m still not sure why. The world building, maybe. Which was very good, and the politics actually kept me interested, but every single character was the absolute worst and I kind of wanted them all to die. That’s not even an exaggeration. Spoiler, they didn’t all die. I was only marginally disappointed.

Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller

When the ruthless Pirate King learns of a legendary treasure map hidden on an enemy ship, his daughter, Alosa, knows that there's only one pirate for the job—herself. Leaving behind her beloved ship and crew, Alosa deliberately facilitates her own kidnapping to ensure her passage on the enemy ship. After all, who's going to suspect a seventeen-year-old girl locked in a cell?Then she meets the (surprisingly perceptive and unfairly attractive) first mate, Riden, who is charged with finding out all her secrets. Now it's down to a battle of wits and will... Can Alosa find the map and escape before Riden figures out her plan?

— Alosa was kind of the worst? Like, STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER who had to keep reminding you how strong she was because she would kill anyone, and had an all female pirate crew. And the whole time I was just like, ok...cool. Still, I read the sequel too and that was slightly better.

The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller

Alessandra is tired of being overlooked, but she has a plan to gain power:

1) Woo the Shadow King.

2) Marry him.

3) Kill him and take his kingdom for herself.

No one knows the extent of the freshly crowned Shadow King's power. Some say he can command the shadows that swirl around him to do his bidding. Others say they speak to him, whispering the thoughts of his enemies. Regardless, Alessandra knows what she deserves, and she's going to do everything within her power to get it.

But Alessandra's not the only one trying to kill the king. As attempts on his life are made, she finds herself trying to keep him alive long enough for him to make her his queen—all while struggling not to lose her heart. After all, who better for a Shadow King than a cunning, villainous queen?

— I cannot explain this book any way except to tell you it is so weird. Like, sometimes I remember I read this and all I can think is: why did this book happen? It felt like it started in the middle of the story, which is not a knock on the story itself, but mostly on the world building. Which was lacking to say the least. Also the resolution was super rushed and even more weird and I was like—why does he like her??? I still don’t know, honestly.

The Stars We Steal by Alexa Donne

Engagement season is in the air. Eighteen-year-old Princess Leonie "Leo" Kolburg, heir to a faded European spaceship, has only one thing on her mind: which lucky bachelor can save her family from financial ruin?

But when Leo's childhood friend and first love, Elliot, returns as the captain of a successful whiskey ship, everything changes. Elliot was the one who got away, the boy Leo's family deemed to be unsuitable for marriage. Now he's the biggest catch of the season and he seems determined to make Leo's life miserable. But old habits die hard, and as Leo navigates the glittering balls of the Valg Season, she finds herself falling for her first love in a game of love, lies, and past regrets.

— Another book whose lack of world building hurt it. Stuff just happened, and we were expected to understand it and be into it and I was neither. I had no reason to care about anyone in this book, especially Elliot who seemed like an asshole.

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Princess Lira is siren royalty and the most lethal of them all. With the hearts of seventeen princes in her collection, she is revered across the sea. Until a twist of fate forces her to kill one of her own. To punish her daughter, the Sea Queen transforms Lira into the one thing they loathe most—a human. Robbed of her song, Lira has until the winter solstice to deliver Prince Elian's heart to the Sea Queen and or remain a human forever.The ocean is the only place Prince Elian calls home, even though he is heir to the most powerful kingdom in the world. Hunting sirens is more than an unsavory hobby—it's his calling. When he rescues a drowning woman in the ocean, she's more than what she appears. She promises to help him find the key to destroying all of sirenkind for good—But can he trust her? And just how many deals will Elian have to barter to eliminate mankind's greatest enemy?

— This book did not go the way I thought it was going to. Not a bad thing, but also not the best and the ending was...bleh. The middle, though? That was legit, and the action was good. I am always a fan of sword fights. Still, there was something that left me waiting for the final push towards great and it just never really came.

ROM-COMS WITH ONLY PASSABLY FRUSTRATING PLOTS AND GOOD KISSING

Party of Two by Jasmine Guillory

Dating is the last thing on Olivia Monroe's mind when she moves to LA to start her own law firm. But when she meets a gorgeous man at a hotel bar and they spend the entire night flirting, she discovers too late that he is none other than hotshot junior senator Max Powell. Olivia has zero interest in dating a politician, but when a cake arrives at her office with the cutest message, she can't resist—it is chocolate cake, after all.

Olivia is surprised to find that Max is sweet, funny, and noble—not just some privileged white politician, as she assumed him to be. Because of Max's high-profile job, they start seeing each other secretly, which leads to clandestine dates and silly disguises. But when they finally go public, the intense media scrutiny means people are now digging up her rocky past and criticizing her job, even her suitability as a trophy girlfriend. Olivia knows what she has with Max is something special, but is it strong enough to survive the heat of the spotlight?

— It was cute. Max was occasionally an idiot. The kissing was legit. Most of their problems could have very easily been solved, but that’s kind of this genre’s schtick.

The Worst Best Man by Mia Sosa

A wedding planner left at the altar? Yeah, the irony isn't lost on Carolina Santos, either. But despite that embarrassing blip from her past, Lina's offered an opportunity that could change her life. There's just one hitch... she has to collaborate with the best (make that worst) man from her own failed nuptials. Marketing expert Max Hartley is determined to make his mark with a coveted hotel client looking to expand its brand. Then he learns he'll be working with his brother's whip-smart, stunning—absolutely off-limits—ex-fiancée. And she loathes him.If they can nail their presentation without killing each other, they'll both come out ahead. Except Max has been public enemy number one ever since he encouraged his brother to jilt the bride, and Lina's ready to dish out a little payback of her own.Soon Lina and Max discover animosity may not be the only emotion creating sparks between them. Still, this star-crossed couple can never be more than temporary playmates because Lina isn't interested in falling in love and Max refuses to play runner-up to his brother ever again...

— Once you got past the hooking up with your ex’s brother thing, it was cute. Max was endearing in an earnest sort of way, even when Lina was STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER in a cliche sort of way. More solid kissing. Side note, why are so many rom com dudes named Max? Does it sound hip? Passably cool, but also approachable? Discuss. 

Not that Kind of Guy by Andie J. Christopher

State attorney Bridget Nolan is successful in all aspects of her life—except romance. After breaking up with her longtime boyfriend, she's been slow to reenter the dating scene. To be honest, she has more important things to do like putting bad guys behind bars. But with her brother's wedding right around the corner, she suddenly needs a date and fast. Lucky for Bridget, the legal intern is almost done with his program.

Matt Kido is dumbstruck by Bridget—total love at first sight—but there's one problem. She's totally off-limits while she's his boss. But the moment he no longer reports to her, Matt asks her on a date. An impulsive decision takes them to Las Vegas where, as the saying goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Unless you put a ring on it.

— Having written the “wake up in Vegas married” trope before, I know it’s difficult to do right. Consent’s a thing, y’know? And stuff gets dicy with forgotten memories, and all that, but mostly what kept me from truly loving this book was the intern thing. Don’t date your interns guys, it’s weird and off-putting. Literally if he’d just been a junior partner, or a visiting partner or something else I would have been all in.

Meet Cute by Helena Hunting

Kailyn Flowers was always calm, rational, and controlled—until she ended up sprawled all over Daxton Hughes, the former actor she totally crushed on as a teenager. Then she did the unthinkable: She became a mortifying fangirl in five seconds flat, which may or may not have included professing her undying love. And oddly, he didn't run away. In fact, their meet cute led to a friendship she never saw coming. Of course, she never saw his betrayal coming, either...Now Dax needs her help. As guardian to his thirteen-year-old sister, he's in way over his head. And though Kailyn hasn't forgiven Dax, she isn't heartless enough to make him fend for himself, either. Soon their friendly meetings turn into flirty dinner dates, and Kailyn can feel their chemistry is as explosive as ever. But how can she possibly let down her guard again to a guy who has heartbreak written all over him?

— Once again here for the one that got away trope, even if this comes with dead parents and some sad storylines. It still managed to be cute. Everyone was cute in it. Occasionally Daxton was a dick. As rom com male leads are apt to be.

If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane

If faking love is this easy... how do you know when it's real?When her partner of over a decade suddenly ends things, Laurie is left reeling—not only because they work at the same law firm and she has to see him every day. Her once perfect life is in shambles and the thought of dating again in the age of Tinder is nothing short of horrifying. When news of her ex's pregnant girlfriend hits the office grapevine, taking the humiliation lying down is not an option. Then a chance encounter in a broken-down elevator with the office playboy opens up a new possibility.Jamie Carter doesn't believe in love, but he needs a respectable, steady girlfriend to impress their bosses. Laurie wants a hot new man to give the rumor mill something else to talk about. It's the perfect proposition: a fauxmance played out on social media, with strategically staged photographs and a specific end date in mind. With the plan hatched, Laurie and Jamie begin to flaunt their new couple status, to the astonishment—and jealousy—of their friends and colleagues. But there's a fine line between pretending to be in love and actually falling for your charming, handsome fake boyfriend...

— FAKE DATING THAT LEADS TO REAL FEELINGS. The ex-boyfriend was an assssss, the fake boyfriend was charming, everything was good AND THEN WE GOT TO THE END. Which felt more than a little rushed, unexpected and not really in line with the rest of the book?? Give ‘em a slightly better, in-character ending, and I would have been sold.

BOOKS THAT I WAS LIKE...EH, OK

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway: a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them both, this is a game in which only one can be left standing. Despite the high stakes, Celia and Marco soon tumble headfirst into love, setting off a domino effect of dangerous consequences, and leaving the lives of everyone, from the performers to the patrons, hanging in the balance.

— I think this book was too smart for me. The prose was gorgeous, and the whole thing was very pretty and I definitely swooned when Marco said he wished for Celia. And yet. By the end I was like...eh, ok. Maybe it was the timeline? Jumping around, or how little dialogue there was. I wanted to like it all so badly, and I’m just not sure I did.

Acting on Impulse by Mia Sosa

After a very public breakup with a media-hungry politician, fitness trainer Tori Alvarez escapes to Aruba for rest, relaxation, and copious amounts of sex on the beach—the cocktail, that is. She vows to keep her vacation a man-free zone but when a cute guy is seated next to her on the plane, Tori can't resist a little harmless flirting.Hollywood heartthrob Carter Stone underwent a dramatic physical transformation for his latest role and it's clear his stunning seat mate doesn't recognize the man beneath the shaggy beard and extra lean frame. Now Carter needs help rebuilding his buff physique and Tori is perfect for the job. It doesn't hurt that she makes his pulse pound in more ways than one.Sparks are flying, until a pesky paparazzo reveals Carter's identity. Tori is hurt and pissed. She wants nothing to do with another man in the limelight, but she's still got to whip him into shape. Can Carter convince Tori he's worth the threat to her privacy that comes with dating a famous actor, or will Tori chisel him down to nothing before he even gets the chance?

— Dudes have gotta stop lying about who they are. It’s not a great trope. Other than that, the kissing was good. The romance was like...eh. I honestly don’t remember much else.

Twice in a Blue Moon by Christina Lauren

During a whirlwind two-week vacation abroad, Sam and Tate fell for each other in only the way that first loves do: sharing all of their hopes, dreams, and deepest secrets along the way. Sam was the first, and only, person that Tate—the long-lost daughter of one of the world's biggest film stars—ever revealed her identity to. So when it became clear her trust was misplaced, her world shattered for good.

Fourteen years later, Tate, now an up-and-coming actress, only thinks about her first love every once in a blue moon. When she steps onto the set of her first big break, he's the last person she expects to see. Yet here Sam is, the same charming, confident man she knew, but even more alluring than she remembered. Forced to confront the man who betrayed her, Tate must ask herself if it's possible to do the wrong thing for the right reason... and whether "once in a lifetime" can come around twice.

— This book was...weird. The early romance was wonderful and delightful, but then shit hit the fan and Sam and Tate are adults and...weird. Like, I cannot come up with another word for it. Also, they didn’t really talk much? As adults? Working on the same movie set? W e i r d.

I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella

Fixie Farr has always lived by her father’s motto: “Family first.” And since her dad passed away, leaving his charming housewares store in the hands of his wife and children, Fixie spends all her time picking up the slack from her siblings instead of striking out on her own. The way Fixie sees it, if she doesn’t take care of her father’s legacy, who will?

It’s simply not in Fixie’s nature to say no to people. So when a handsome stranger in a coffee shop asks her to watch his laptop for a moment, she not only agrees—she ends up saving it from certain disaster. To thank Fixie for her quick thinking, the computer’s owner, Sebastian, an investment manager, scribbles an IOU on a coffee sleeve and attaches his business card. Fixie laughs it off—she’d never actually claim an IOU from a stranger. Would she?

But then Fixie’s childhood crush, Ryan, comes back into her life, and his lack of a profession pushes all of Fixie’s buttons. As always, she wants nothing for herself—but she’d love Seb to give Ryan a job. No sooner has Seb agreed than the tables are turned once more and a new series of IOUs between Seb and Fixie—from small favors to life-changing moments—ensues. Soon Fixie, Ms. Fixit for everyone else, is torn between her family and the life she really wants. Does she have the courage to take a stand? Will she finally grab the life, and love, she really wants?

— Let’s be upfront, I’ve read a lot of Sophie Kinsella in my life, and more often than not I enjoy what she writes. I mostly did here. It was a book. With obvious rom com problems, that could have very easily been solved, but it wasn’t horrible. So, that was good, I guess.

The Wedding Party by Jasmine Guillory

Maddie and Theo have two things in common:

1. Alexa is their best friend

2. They hate each other

After an "oops, we made a mistake" night together, neither one can stop thinking about the other. With Alexa's wedding rapidly approaching, Maddie and Theo both share bridal party responsibilities that require more interaction with each other than they're comfortable with. Underneath the sharp barbs they toss at each other is a simmering attraction that won't fade. It builds until they find themselves sneaking off together to release some tension when Alexa isn't looking, agreeing they would end it once the wedding is over. When it's suddenly pushed up and they only have a few months left of secret rendezvouses, they find themselves regretting that the end is near. Two people this different can't possibly have a connection other than the purely physical, right?

But as with any engagement with a nemesis, there are unspoken rules that must be abided by. First and foremost, don't fall in love.

— Eh, this book happened. I still have no idea why they couldn’t be together from the get. Obstacles for the sake of plot, I guess. Also political side stories? I don’t know, guys.

WEIRD POST-ENDING FEELINGS WERE INDUCED

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast.

They're polar opposites.

In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they're living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer's block.

Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She'll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he'll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no one will fall in love. Really.

— Listen, I enjoyed this a lot. For the most part. It was funny, and introspective in a way that didn’t make me want to gag too much, and I wanted to defend January’s love of love with everything in me. But, then it—ended. And it was like...all tied up with this nice little ribbon and happily ever after, and I was like...oh, ok. Part of me that it was glad it ended like that, mostly because of who I am as a person, but the rest of me was also confused that after everything January and Augustus had been through and how messy their lives were it could just get all wrapped up in this HEA.

HITTING JUST A BIT TOO CLOSE TO HOME

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade

Marcus Caster-Rupp has a secret. The world may know him as Aeneas, star of the biggest show on television, but fanfiction readers call him something else: Book!AeneasWouldNever. Marcus gets out his frustrations with the show through anonymous stories about the internet's favorite couple, Aeneas and Lavinia. But if anyone discovered his online persona, he'd be finished in Hollywood.April Whittier has secrets of her own. A hardcore Lavinia fan, she's long hidden her fanfic and cosplay hobbies from her "real life"—but not anymore. When she dares to post her latest costume creation on Twitter, her plus-size take goes viral. And when Marcus asks her out to spite her internet critics, truth officially becomes stranger than fanfiction. On their date, Marcus quickly realizes he wants more from April than a one-time publicity stunt. But when he discovers she's Unapologetic Lavinia Stan, his closest fandom friend, he has one more huge secret to keep from her.With love and Marcus's career on the line, can the two of them stop hiding once and for all, or will a match made in fandom end up prematurely cancelled?

— Here for plus-size heroines who get the guy and don’t have their (entire) storyline defined by their looks. Less here for the weird fandom culture, the ensuing second-hand embarrassment that came from that and the thankfulness that both Colin O’Donoghue and Bob Morley appear to be happily married so it seems very unlikely they’re writing fic about their characters under pseudonyms. Stop using Ao3 in actual published stories 2k4ever.

RAGE-INDUCING BOOKS OF ABSOLUTE FURY

The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

Kristen Peterson doesn't do drama, will fight to the death for her friends, and has no room in her life for guys who just don't get her. She's also keeping a big secret: facing a medically necessary procedure that will make it impossible for her to have children.Planning her best friend's wedding is bittersweet for Kristen — especially when she meets the best man, Josh Copeland. He's funny, sexy, never offended by her mile-wide streak of sarcasm, and always one chicken enchilada ahead of her hangry. Even her dog, Stuntman Mike, adores him. The only catch: Josh wants a big family someday. Kristen knows he'd be better off with someone else, but as their attraction grows, it's harder and harder to keep him at arm's length.The Friend Zone will have you laughing one moment and grabbing for tissues the next as it tackles the realities of infertility and loss with wit, heart, and a lot of sass.

— LISTEN THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE, BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEM BECAUSE THIS BOOK IS A SECRET GUT PUNCH AND PEOPLE SHOULD BE AWARE. Not only is infertility, like, the defining theme of this book, but the BEST FRIEND DIES. Just—dies. It’s horrible. Absolutely God awful depressing. And for a second he looks like he won’t, and it’ll be fine, but then it is not and he’s just D E A D. I know, I know that sets up the sequel, but this was so goddamn heavy in an unsuspecting way that I have absolutely no intention of reading the next one.

Well Met by Jen DeLuca

Emily knew there would be strings attached when she relocated to the small town of Willow Creek, Maryland, for the summer to help her sister recover from an accident, but who could anticipate getting roped into volunteering for the local Renaissance Faire alongside her teenaged niece? Or that the irritating and inscrutable schoolteacher in charge of the volunteers would be so annoying that she finds it impossible to stop thinking about him?

The faire is Simon's family legacy and from the start he makes clear he doesn't have time for Emily's lighthearted approach to life, her oddball Shakespeare conspiracy theories, or her endless suggestions for new acts to shake things up. Yet on the faire grounds he becomes a different person, flirting freely with Emily when she's in her revealing wench's costume. But is this attraction real, or just part of the characters they're portraying?

This summer was only ever supposed to be a pit stop on the way to somewhere else for Emily, but soon she can't seem to shake the fantasy of establishing something more with Simon or a permanent home of her own in Willow Creek.

— FUCK THIS BOOK. And fuck Simon, specifically. Oh, you have a sad story? Cool, you’re still a dick. He was a dick. Listen, I know enemies to lovers is a hard trope to write, but it’s even harder to accept when those enemies just announce I LIKED YOU THE WHOLE TIME and then everyone starts ripping off their clothes. No, it’s dumb. I hate it. Apparently there’s a sequel to this book. Maybe that’s better.

Kiss My Cupcake by Helena Hunting

Blaire Calloway has planned every Instagram-worthy moment of her cupcake and cocktails shop launch down to the tiniest detail. What she didn't plan on? Ronan Knight and his old-school sports bar next door opening on the very same day. He may be super swoony, but Blaire hasn't spent years obsessing over buttercream and bourbon to have him ruin her chance at success.From axe throwing (his place) to frosting contests (hers), Blaire and Ronan are constantly trying to one-up each other in a battle to win new customers. But with every clash, there's also an undeniable chemistry. When an even bigger threat to their business comes to town, they're forced to call a temporary time-out on their own war and work together. And the more time Blaire spends getting to know the real Ronan, the more she wonders if it's possible to have her cupcake and eat it too.

— Listen, I wanted to like this one. There were plenty other Helena Hunting books on this list, so like—I don’t hate her. I just hate poorly executed enemies to lovers plot lines. Give me at least one moment where they are interested in each other aside from just being attracted to each other. Also: Stop Having Dudes Be Dicks Because Of Their Sad Backstory 2k4ever.

Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane

You always remember your first love... don't you?If there's anything worse than being fired from the worst restaurant in town, it's coming home early to find your boyfriend in bed with someone else. Reeling from the humiliation of a double dumping in one day, Georgina takes the next job that comes her way—bartender in a newly opened pub. There's only one problem: it's run by the guy she fell in love with years ago. And—make that two problems—he doesn't remember her. At all. But she has fabulous friends and her signature hot pink fur coat... what more could a girl really need?Lucas McCarthy has not only grown into a broodingly handsome man, but he's also turned into an actual grown-up, with a thriving business and a dog along the way. Crossing paths with him again throws Georgina's rocky present into sharp relief—and brings a secret from her past bubbling to the surface. Only she knows what happened twelve years ago, and why she's allowed the memories to chase her ever since. But maybe it's not too late for the truth... or a second chance with the one that got away?

— HE WAS JUST PRETENDING NOT TO REMEMBER HER THE WHOLE TIME???? WHAT?? WHY??? D U M B. Dumb boys are dumb.

Not the Girl You Marry by Andie J. Christopher

Jack Nolan is a gentleman, a journalist, and unlucky in love. His viral success has pigeon-holed him as the how-to guy for a buzzy, internet media company instead of covering hard-hitting politics. Fed up with his fluffy articles and the app-based dating scene as well, he strikes a deal with his boss to write a final piece de resistance: How to Lose a Girl. Easier said than done when the girl he meets is Hannah Mayfield, and he's not sure he wants her to dump him.

Hannah is an extremely successful event planner who's focused on climbing the career ladder. Her firm is one of the most prestigious in the city, and she's determined to secure her next promotion. But Hannah has a bit of an image problem. She needs to show her boss that she has range, including planning dreaded, romantic weddings. Enter Jack. He's the perfect man to date for a couple weeks to prove to her boss that she's not scared of feelings.

Before Jack and Hannah know it, their fake relationship starts to feel all too real—and neither of them can stand to lose each other.

— This is actually the prequel to Not That Kind of Guy and I honestly can’t believe I read that after hating this book so much. They were awful to each other! Their whole relationship was based on lies! Mean lies! Horrible lies! Don’t lie to your significant other!

Mini-Review: Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions!

I’m so glad @littlestartopaz​ recommended this to me, because it was SO GOOD.

Yuta wants to start high school afresh: new school far from home, new classmates who don’t know he spent middle school acting out the fantasy of being the mysterious and magic “Dark Flame Master,” new him. But one of his classmates has delusions of her own, and after she accidentally discovers his embarrassing past, Yuta is unwillingly drawn into her life and a growing circle of friends with their own quirks.

The “chunibyo” of the title basically means “8th grade syndrome;” a phase in middle school where some kids inhabit and act out their own fantasy stories, positing themselves as dark magicians, magical girls, and other wielders of magical powers.

I had avoided this for a while, until it was specifically recommended to me, because honestly, it sounds embarrassing, right? It sounds like it’s gonna be an embarrassing manic pixie dream girl scenario. But what it actually contains is the story of how a mixed bag of students--some actively chunibyo, others not--become friends and develop very endearing close relationships, while arguing and frustrating each other because that’s what friends do.

Now, the idea of being the star of what’s essentially your own fantasy-action anime is embarrassing, but what’s notable is that the show doesn’t really hold the chunibyo characters up for mockery. Sure we might laugh at them, but hey--it’s funny to watch friends be silly together. And most viewers, just like some of the characters who have moved on from their chunibyo phases, probably easily understand the mix of soul-wrenching embarrassment and (mild?) fond sentiment that comes with remembering our middle school selves.

But let’s be real: the reactions the two former chunibyo students, Yuta and Shinka have to being reminded of middle school, are #RELATABLE

Rikka, our title chunibyo, in particular uses her fantasy in part to cope with grief, coming from an extended family that (without getting spoilery) didn’t help a young girl to deal with a very hard and life-changing time. Now that she’s in high school, her older sister blackmails Yuta (using an a voice recording of one of his chunibyo speeches) into helping deal with Rikka and things (like the cat she wants to adopt) that pop up.

One thing the show is very good at, though, is not making a single thing the reason behind a character’s chunibyo. One may have started their fantasy inspired by another person, or prompted by an event, but it’s also (while active) part of their personal narrative that influences how they spent their free time, how they see the world and keep blogs or diaries, etc.

But at the same time, they’re still teenagers, and their inner view of themselves...doesn’t always translate skills.

I said the show is primarily about friendship. A lot of that friendship is between Yuta and Rikka, but they accumulate a little group, mainly through Rikka’s attempt to start a magic club. Recruit 1: Kumin, a polite, quiet senpai with no chunibyo history or aspirations.

Kumin starts off seeming like a background character, but by the second season it’s clear she’s not just there for jokes about how she’ll take a nap anywhere. She’s perceptive, and genuinely enjoys watching the others act out their scenarios.

Compared to the other characters who are boisterous in their chunibyo activities (Rikka, Deko, Satone), or vociferously trying not to get drawn in to chunibyo activities (Yuta, Shinka), Kumin is happy to watch and offer encouragement, but she’s also willing to participate if a chunibyo scenario calls for a group.

Incidentally, the show does a really interesting thing where occasionally, we’ll be drawn “inside” the chunibyo world, seeing what Rikka/Deko/whoever see: a fantasy land, big magical weapons, anime-grade magical attacks. Occasionally we’ll also see what this “really” looks like--a couple people running around waving umbrellas at each other--but often we only get the fantasy version. It’s clear that Rikka and co. are legitimately on some level engaging in a shared imagination, and the times when a reluctant character (particularly Yuta or Shinka) willing steps in to the shared illusion are genuinely sweet.

Speaking of, Shinka (aka Morisummer) became one of my favorite characters. Like Yuta, she was chunibyo (”Morisummer the magician”); like Yuta, she chose a high school where she didn’t know anyone expressly so she could reinvent herself as a normal teen. And like Yuta, she’s getting dragged kicking and screaming into chunibyo again.

It would’ve been so easy to make her a bad character. She’s pretty, puts a lot of effort into being popular and likable at school, trying to keep up a good teen girl image, despite being fairly sarcastic at her core. And as loathe as she is to admit it, she likes her friends (even if she won’t admit they’re friends, even if half of them are actively chunibyo, even if she says she’s only hanging around so she can make sure all traces of chunibyo-Morisummer are erased from the internet).

Shinka gets drawn in to the group through Rikka’s apparently only pre-existing friend: Deko, a fellow chunibyo who follows Rikka (or “Eye of the Wicked Lord Shingan”) as her master, and is extremely devoted to the great magician Morisummer. So devoted, in fact, that she has several physical copies of Morisummer’s book containing all her wisdom...aka Shinka-Morisummer’s blog, which Shinka has tried to erase all trace of.

Needless to say, the two don’t seem to get along great.

Deko’s dedication to chunibyo and Morisummer irks Shinka; Shinka’s claim to be Morisummer irks Deko, who refuses to believe the great magician could ever be this sarcastic, mundane girl. Deko’s refusal irks Shinka, bringing out the sarcasm and bluntness Shinka tries to hide from the school at large.

Obviously, they actually become close friends, but heaven help you if you actually say so.

The entire series is an exploration of relationships, and Yuta’s developing closeness with Rikka (hey, we knew it was going to happen) is also sweet. He’s a genuinely likable boy, embarrassed by the vestiges of his former self he sees in Rikka, but often willing to meet her on her level, and both of them also learn/reaffirm the importance of doing things their way, and keeping both of them comfortable, rather than acting a certain way or performing specific acts just because their classmates think their relationship status mandates it.

Speaking of classmates--and I know this is getting long but I CAN’T HELP IT, I LIKED SO MANY ASPECTS OF THIS SERIES--the characters aren’t ridiculed at school. Sure, some people think they’re weird, but there’s no shunning, no arc involving teasing or bullies. Rikka’s often content as a loner, but when she attempts to join in a social circle, she’s welcomed. Shinka’s obsessed with reinventing herself and appearing normal and seems to think that otherwise she’ll be cast out, but multiple characters mention that others at the school notice how she behaves (oddly, on occasion) and there are no social repercussions. Truly nice for a show that has characters spending quite a lot of time in school.

Verdict

English dub? Yes, and it’s got strong performances. Rikka’s voice actor in particular does a fantastic job capturing the difference between chunibyo!Rikka’s confidence and command, and regular!Rikka’s, well, normal awkward teenageness. (Plus, I also found her lower-than animegirl-average voice enjoyable.) (Double plus, I honestly think her English voice is better than her original Japanese voice at showing the difference between her emotions and chunibyo/reality.) Deko’s VA is fantastic showing the enthusiasm of the 9th grader (and what enthusiasm, Deko is like the Energizer Bunny), and Shinka’s VA manages to show her alternating annoyance, cheerfully sweet ideal self, and organizized leader voices.

Visuals: Fine, and I really liked the chunibyo designs for each character’s chunibyo phase. The contrast between chunibyo-vision (giant magic weapons; mysterious lights, fantasy landscapes) and reality (an umbrella or soup ladle; a strip of lights taped to the floor; a local park) was really well done.

Worth watching? Yessss. It’s very manageable--two 12-episode seasons--and while each season contains its own arc (you could stop after the first one, but why), together they make an excellent story. Heck, I think the second season is equal to, if not better than, the first, because the friend group is well-established and even more fun to watch.

Where to watch (USA, as of October 2020): Netflix (dub, sub); Crunchyroll (sub), HIDIVE (sub & dub, plus OVAs and film)

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

Twisted Dream

Yandere!Izuku Midoriya x Fem!Reader

WARNING: Contents include somnophilia, non-con/dub-con, drugging, unhealthy perceptions, “yandere” behavior, blackmail, emotional manipulation, and an unreliable narrator. Readers discretion is advised. 

(All underaged characters are aged up. I do not writer minors in adult situations. Izuku is over 18 here)

Izuki snuck into the master bedroom undetected, quiet as a mouse. He groped around in the shadows but quickly found his footing. He passed around the room as if he had been within the confines of Katsuki's bedroom several times beforehand. But not for the reason one might think. It was never his rival and school bully that garnered Izuku's obsession. Somebody like Katsuki could never understand how good he had it. Top-ranking pro-hero, wealthy, and above all married to the most beautiful woman ever born. Someone who bullied and stepped on others to get what they wanted could never understand the passion made manifest in Izuku.

How did Katsuki manage to bag a refined woman like you, Izuku wondered. You had all the gifts and virtues Katsuki so desperately lacked. You were cultured, intelligent, witty, and oh-so-delicate. You were as fragile as a porcelain doll. How did only Izuku see it? He thought about how Katsuki looked at you from time to time. A piece of meat, a trophy wife, an art piece for him to show off to all his friends. Izuku never saw love in Katsuki's eyes for you, only admiration of you brought to the table of his pride and reputation. It churned Izuku's stomach watching from afar. All of your smiles had to be fake underneath it all. There was no way you could smile with any sincerity while holding Katsuki's hand. 

So, there he was. He was standing in the middle of that bedroom with both you and Katsuki, unaware of his presence. Izuku heard your slow, steady breathing. Unhurried, Izuku made his way over to you and watched you sleep. Your clothes were rumpled and wrinkled from when you probably fell asleep as soon as the drug took effect. You discarded your shoes by the door, a fact Izuku confirmed when he almost tripped over them while sneaking inside. For the longest time, Izuku stood there to watch you. You were perfectly, completely unaware of what caused your sudden dizziness and strolled to your room to lay down for the rest of the evening. What you didn't know was that Izuku had followed behind to make sure that you didn't hurt yourself on the way up. It was the least he could do since it was his fault. You left your drink unattended. The wife of a pro-hero should have known bette

Izuku's hand trembled as he lifted the sheet and proceeded to make you more comfortable. Your silk dress in (favorite color) clung to your body like a second skin. Your darkened cheeks made you look so-deliciously innocent once you were naked. Moonlight streaming between the curtains cast a silver glow on your skin. Your soft, rounded breasts heaved with each breath; Izuku licked his lips. The bed dipped slightly under his weight. He crawled over your body and delighted in how the coolness of the evening somehow made your skin softer and more pliable than if you lay sweating in humid summer. 

Izuku palmed your breasts, marveling at your twin peaks. He noticed how quickly your nipples pebbled at the first touch of his hand. Izuku threw off his shirt, vest, and tie and let them all pile on the floor. Katsuki wouldn't be coming upstairs anytime soon; Izuku made sure of it. Izuku's eager hands felt up your body. Since you couldn't protest, Izuku caressed, groped, and even pinched to his heart's content. Goosebumps arose all over your flesh. You shuddered in your dreamless slumber, only vaguely aware of what was happening to you. It felt more like a hyper-realistic dream than a dangerous reality. Izuku bent his head down and took one of your nipples into his mouth. He looked up at your face to make sure that you hadn't stirred too much before he started sucking. He licked and sucked on your breast like a hungry baby. He moaned softly while his other hand teased your other breast. Izuku bobbed his head while he sucked, unable to stop his hunger, then switched places. He treated the other as the first until he covered your chest in his spit and love bites. The dark violet marks stood out like bright arrows marking you as his. 

Izuku felt himself harden with all of his administration. Just touching you was enough to get him going. He could come then and there, spraying your body with more marks of his possession. But it wouldn't be enough. Katsuki needed to know that he may have married you, but that didn't make you 'his.' That honor belonged to someone else, and Izuku was about to demonstrate that. His calloused fingers ran down your torso, played with your plush hips, and scored down your legs. He rubbed your muscles, then moved back up again. Your thighs parted with ease for him. Izuku shuddered as you opened to him like a flower bursting into bloom. Thin curly (hair color) hair hid a fantastic treasure. Izuku parted your folds and uncovered that sweet-looking bundle of nerves. He needed you to feel good before he did; Izuku couldn't control himself anymore. 

Izuku dove between your legs. Your taste was unlike any other. He practiced on peaches for tonight, unsure of himself how best to please you. When you moaned in your sleep, he took it to mean to continue. Even in your sleep, you trusted that he could please you better than Katsuki could. Izuku licked and teased you with his tongue buried inside of you. His fingers were busy pinching your clit. His touch made you whine helplessly. Though still unconscious, your body shifted, and your hands twisted in the sheets. Izuku moaned as he worked. It wasn't long before he felt your walls flutter then clench tight. A flood of your essence coated his mouth. Izuku cleaned up the mess he made of you as he didn't want to waste a single drop.

Izuku’s cock strained against his pants. He stripped bare and quickly rearranged your body. You were still wonderfully pliant when he laid you out on your stomach with your head facing towards the door. Izuku pulled at your hips until he lifted them off the bed. He spread you open, the sight of which made him pause. Not out of anything like morality, but to adore your wet cunt he was about to ruin for Katsuki.

Izuku didn't wait. His pulse hammered against his temples as he aligned his cock against you. With one thrust, he buried his cock to the hilt. A groan erupted from deep within his throat. You felt so warm, wet, and tight inside for him; it was all for him. 

"I love your body so much right now, Y/N. You're so tight and warm for me." Izuku started moving. 

You moaned in your sleep while Izuku impaled you over and over. He roughly grabbed your hips and brought your body closer to his. There was almost no space between you. A thin sheen of sweat appeared on Izuku's brow as he plowed into you. He grit his teeth to keep himself from thrusting harder and hurting you. Your tight walls made it almost impossible for him 'not' to want to fuck you into the mattress. He wished that your eyes would open, and you saw him. Izuku wondered what your voice would sound like once you were splayed out for his pleasure alone. Would you mewl like a kitten or scream like a banshee as he fucked you? 

Izuku couldn't imagine you acting like a tigress in bed. No, you were pure and simple. So easily corruptible. He was going to make you crave no one else but him. Izuku thrust in your body until your walls clenched around him. Warmth spread over his cock as you unconsciously came around him. The feeling of you surrounding him was enough to make Izuku throw caution to the wind. He bruised your hips while slamming hard into your tight cunt. 

Izuku snapped his hips harshly against yours. His eyes scanned the room while he was still fucking your sleeping body. In the dark, a small red light shined in the corner of the room. Anybody wouldn't notice it unless they knew what they were looking for. He positioned himself so that the camera got a good look at what was being done to you. The camera didn't record audio, just video. Izuku would have to save a copy for himself later. 

The thought of Katsuki eventually seeing his wife being railed from behind sent a pleasurable thrill through Izuku's body. His orgasm zipped shot down his body to his cock. Surrounded by your warm, tight walls, he came. Izuku bit his lower lip to keep himself from crying out too loud. He emptied himself. Slowly, Izuku pulled out. He quickly went to work erasing what he could of his presence in the room. There was a bathroom attached to the master bedroom; he used to dampen a washcloth and clean you up. Izuku dressed quickly and made a swift exit.

Three weeks later, Katsuki received an anonymous package at his agency. After testing it for drugs or explosives, he found a seemingly innocuous flash drive.  He put it into his computer, and the flash drive contained only a single file. Katsuki played it, then read the note found inside the envelope: If you don't divorce your wife, we will make this video public. How does it feel, hero, to have been unable to stop what happened to your wife?

You fell quickly into Izuku's waiting arms. It was as if he knew you needed a shoulder to cry on. You silenced that nagging little voice in your head that said something was off. Izuku wouldn't have any reason to know why Katsuki started filing; they hadn't spoken in years. While you wept into Izuku's chest, clinging to him like a life-saving buoy, you couldn't see the smile creeping on his face.

Howl's Moving Castle & the Power Narrative Holds Over Reality

Like most 90s borns, my first anime was Pokémon. I watched the first three seasons diligently, and my tooth fairy gifts were always VHSs of memorable episodes. But like most Millennials and even Gen-X before us, my first real entryway to Japanese culture was Hayao Miyazaki. On the tiny TV screen, behind even for 2002, where my mother would watch her TV shows as she worked out, I watched Spirited Away. Chihiro/Sen's coming-of-age story and the movie's numerous themes deserves their own essay, and one I think better bloggers, vloggers and ordinary people have written before me. But after such a masterpiece, I jumped at the chance to see the next Studio Ghibli movie, Howl's Moving Castle. I rushed to the local library to read the book before it aired in the nearby city's bus station mall's small cinema. 18 years later, too nauseous for schoolwork and mooching off of my dad's Netflix account, I decided to rewatch this film. ***Spoiler alert for both book AND film*** The film itself is a staunch anti-war message, released around the same time as the invasion of Iraq, informed by Miyazaki's own childhood in the final years of Imperial Japan and the horrors inflicted on his home country to set the stage of the Cold War. The exposition includes a bombing of Sophie's hometown with...banners. The citizens of Ingary are terrified of the flying machines descending upon their skies, they expect bombs and destruction and untold death and unspeakable horrors. So when they instead get rained down paper pieces with pictures and words we are never privy to, they treat it with suspicion. They refuse to so much as touch them, since it's of the enemy. And the day after, when Ingary soldiers distribute their own country's propaganda banners, they drink it down without a second thought. Again, we are never privy to what they say. Perhaps it was meaningless. Perhaps, to the common contemporary viewer, the content would be incomprehensible. But for me, it got me thinking: What if this was the "enemy" spreading missing posters of their prince? What if this was a warning for the townspeople to evacuate, as they expect to take point there? And if it was, what the hell did it accomplish, outside of everything BUT what it tried to? The people are too scared. They see it as psychological warfare, whether intentional or not, and therefore the papers become a terrorizing presence, whether they were filled with graphic threats or pleas for cooperation, all it ended up doing is scaring the population into a deeper layer of hatred. I personally disagree with the film's apparent message, but I agree with how much of war is the matter of spinning the truth. No character represents a better allegory for spinning the truth than Sophie Hatter, the main character of the movie. The first thing we notice about her is how intricate and colorful all her creations are, while she sticks to a plain hat with minimal detail. We see her displeasure with her own appearance even when trying it on in front of the mirror. She dresses plainly for she thinks herself plain - wearing a mousy dress in both the source book and the film adaption. The book elaborates on this narrative and its subversion: In Ingary, fairytale tropes are accepted as divine truths. Sophie and her sister Lettie have had their mother die as toddlers, so when their father remarried and produced a third sister(briefly referenced in the film), Martha, Sophie and Lettie were doomed to be wicked, hideous stepsisters. But not only did their stepmother raised them as her own, but both all the Hatters were stated to be beautiful, with Lettie in particular having the entire town's male population vying for her affection in both book and film. In fact, the cunning one is the designated "Cinderella", Martha, who uses her guile to warn her half-sisters. See, another trope specific to Ingary was that the firstborn of three siblings will never find their luck - if they ever dare try, they will encounter disaster after misfortune and end up poor and miserable. According to Martha, her mother wanted to enjoy a life of luxury, so she sent Lettie to work in a bakery where she will surely find a man of her liking to start a life with, and shipped her own daughter off to be a magic apprentice far far away from her. Sophie is the only one she kept close, because she knew she buys into the tropes and will make her fortune for her, preferring the safety of her late father's shop to the dangers of the unlucky life of a firstborn. But in both film and book, this blissful avoidance of any exploration is torn away in a chance encounter Sophie has with the notorious wizard Howl. While her sister(s) are terrified for her safety, Sophie has no fear of the 'heart-eating monster' as "he only eats the hearts of beautiful girls", believing her plainness protected her. But oh, how she was wrong. Or was she? In both book and film, the Witch of the Wastes barges into the hat shop. In the book, she seeks Lettie whom Howl is taken with(like literally every man in town) and enters the shop where an overworked Sophie loses her temper at her, and mistaking the hatter for her sister, she curses the girl to become old. In the film, she's explicitly exacting revenge on Sophie, whom Howl is interested in, and follows her and invades her shop after closing time, cursing her to be ninety years old. This is supposed to devastate Sophie - rob her of her youth, beauty and health, ending her life before she started them. But in both versions, Sophie acclimates to the change rather well, constantly noticing the perks of living as an old lady - she can mumble to herself and be seen as normal, she can be assertive and commanding without being inappropriate and/or bossy, and since she has nothing to lose, she might as well go exploring the world, if only to lift the curse. To revisit this as someone who didn’t expect to have the option of growing old, this is an empowering message on its own - growing old is what you make of it. But despite subverting the Witch's narrative, Sophie remains a helpless victim of her own narrative. Book Sophie is explicitly said to be a powerful sorceress unaware of her own powers, even enchanting her hats into the client's shape with her words alone, while in the film it's only implied. But in both versions she Unconsciously Maintains Her Own Curse: She reverts to the eighteen year old in her sleep, or when something silences her insecurities enough. In the film, she's explicitly shown to de-age as she gains confidence in herself under the role of the household maid, going from the frail ninety-year-old into someone who looks and acts as a woman just past middle age - I don't think this is incidental, as many women are at their most confident at that age, when they no longer feel pressured to worry about trivial matters such as beauty and childrearing, and retreat back into the original cursed form when Howl calls her beautiful - a compliment she can never accept. In the book, Howl eventually comes to the conclusion that she likes being old and gives up trying to guide her out of it. The book takes narrative subversion even further. Remember cunning Martha? Turns out, the Hatters didn't conform to their mother's narrative either - Martha was bored by wizardry while Lettie craved it. The two concocted a plan to glamour as one another, which of course the mentor witch saw right though, and preferred Lettie's genuine interest to Martha ghosting the craft. This stings extra once Fanny is shown to be a caring mother who attacks who he thought cursed her stepdaughter - perhaps she fell for the same sort of thinking Sophie did, and wanted her stepdaughter to have the best life possible for someone doomed to fail, thought extroverted Lettie enjoyed the attention and choice of men and wanted Martha to be a powerful, self-sufficient young woman who led a life more glamorous than she did, as someone who lacked magic? That Fanny was a real parent - a well-intentioned woman who completely misjudged her children and their future? Is it possible Martha’s own narrative has poisoned her relationship with her mother, perhaps beyond repair? As for Sophie, in the book she breaks her own curse by breaking the contract between Calcifer and Howl. But the film gives it more nuance - Calcifer and Howl are clearly in a codependent relationship: In both versions Howl gave Calcifer his heart in exchange for magical powers (as well as saving the fallen star's life, depending on your interpretation of the character), but by the time Sophie employs herself at the Castle, Calcifer feels more like a slave than a powerful demon. Howl himself has his own internal struggles, and many online have made convincing cases for BPD being among them. Calcifer is an essential part of his support system. Each one of them believes that if Calcifer isn't fed properly, or gets dunked with water, they'll both die. And once Sophie does so to stop the wizened, depowered Witch of the Wastes from literally being consumed by her obsessive desire for Howl, she too believes to have killed them both with her rash actions. But they live, because Sophie's part in a time loop led her to think otherwise and refuse to give up on them. Within the film’s universe, this ties into Sophie’s innate magical powers talking reality into her perception. But I know real-life, ordinary people who’s own narratives have changed grim fates.  Now, I don’t live in Ingary. I don’t believe the world around me has literal, reality-warping magic. I’m not a spiritual person. But this is precisely why Howl’s Moving Castle appealed to me - because the characters’ thoughts don’t perfectly dictate reality, but the way they act on their perceptions does. I know a man who is alive because his (now ex-)wife changed the narrative of his deathbed to one of optimism and efficacy. When I stopped trying to have my self-image reflected in the eyes of others, I transformed into a more confident, capable person practically overnight. I’m not delusional - I’m well aware of the Dunning-Krueger effect, of how reality exists whether you live in it or not. I’d like to think I live strictly within the boundaries of what is proven beyond reasonable doubt to be real. 

But your spin on reality dictates your life. It can dictate parts of the lives of your close ones. But the message isn’t one of just changing your own view of a situation around you to become happy, oh no. Lettie and Martha didn’t just choose to be happy in apprenticeships they had no passion for. Sophie didn’t just relocate to some quaint cottage to live the few years that weren’t stolen from her as an old hermit. They acted to transform the existent reality within their means, but they could only do so because they felt empowered enough to question their life’s narratives. 

Your post about romance was so spot on and this is from someone who really likes reading romances some of the time. I just wish there were more books where friendships (which after all make up the majority of people's relationships!!) were given the same weight and importance as romance gets unthinkingly. Like, I want books or fic which show the development of two (or more) new friends *as the plot and main part of the book*, and the same thing for the progression of pre-established friendship.

Human relationships are varied and complex and interesting and limiting writing to mainly concerning romantic or dating ones is infuriating! I enjoy reading character driven stuff, which is why I like some romances but I really want to see similarly detailed deep studies of friendship. Friendships are so important, and romantic relationships do not supersede them.  Obviously there is gendered bias against romance as a genre but that is not the only reason to be uninterested in romance damnit!

Sorry for ranting in your inbox about romance and thanks for the post

Hah thank and welcome. Very true!

Yeah, the problem is not just how ubiquitous romance is but the inevitability of it. So many people are so much in the habit of hanging their emotional investment on ‘couples getting together’ that not putting one in is a risk, as a creator, and the faint suggestion of a possibility that a romance might eventuate between two characters constitutes a promise that the audience will be outraged to see not followed through.

So making a story focus at all on a relationship between two people who are considered valid potential romantic partners means having to go through incredible backflips and contortions as a writer to get away with not pairing them up, or there will be outrage. There will be outrage anyway, but hopefully on a contained scale that doesn’t have people throwing your book away.

(The easiest way, of course, is to give one or both of them an alternate partner, but then you either have to build up that relationship as the central focus instead, because you aren’t allowed to love anyone that much and not be romantically involved or be romantically involved For Real with anyone but whoever you love most, or accept that you’ve plastered on a beard of some kind in a way that at this point makes your main duo look even more romantic to people who are looking for that in the first place, even if it lets you write a plot that doesn’t acknowledge this.)

This has contributed enormously to the cultural truism ‘men and women can’t be friends.’ They aren’t allowed to be. And this weird intense romantic pressure is now increasingly extending to same-sex friendships, and it’s like...it’s good that gay visibility and acceptance are growing! That’s great!

But it means that all relationships are increasingly exposed to this honestly fucked up set of expectations. That every single love of any intensity is romantic and probably sexual. That that’s the only love that’s real, or that really matters. With occasional exemptions carved out for parents.

And that’s cultural, I want to say. The inclusion of and an interest in the romantic lives of characters in fiction is definitely natural and practically inevitable, but the outsize role it occupies in our current media culture is abnormal and totally non-compulsory. The central role of romance in so much of narrative is just...a pattern, a narrative schema that currently holds sway, born of an assortment of historical accidents and trends, and I don’t think it’s a good one.

I think it would be better for us as a culture and all our individual relationships for that particular social construct to be broken down.

Because this cultural obsession with The Romance in media mirrors and continually recreates the obsession with The Romance in real life. You know how many people are making themselves miserable by either being in a relationship predicated on the need to have one, any one, rather than actual mutual affection, or about not having a love interest currently at any given moment?

Like, quite separately from the actual frustrated romantic feelings themselves, people feeling like they are less or failures or just...unfinished somehow, because they don’t have a romantic partner. It’s so harmful and absurd! We all know this!

And there are of course a lot of sociological factors that have led to that point as well, but it’s linked particularly closely I think to the atomization of modern society.

You’re not likely to retain any particular community for long--we move around so much over the course of our lives, anything you have is designed to be taken apart. School friends are only rarely retained after school, work friends are only until you get a new job, family is quite often something to be avoided or something you have to leave behind, and not usually an extended network anymore anyway.

We are always moving into new contexts, or knowing we might be moved, and holding onto relationships from one context into another is generally regarded as an unusual feat betokening particular, though not lionized, devotion, and leaning on these relationships ‘too much’ or pursuing them with ‘too much’ energy is regarded with deep suspicion.

This, too, is not particularly normal in the human experience. We are not psychologically designed for this level of impermanence. And we have developed very few structures as a culture thus far to make up for it, which is why the modern adult is so famously, dangerously lonely.

But we have all these social protocols for acquiring a person and holding onto them. A person who’s just yours, all yours, who it is promised will fulfill all those gaping needs all by themselves, and if they don’t it’s because you or they are wrong, and need either a different partner or fixing.

The fact that this is insane and not how romance works over 90% of the time is irrelevant to the dream of it, and the dream overwhelms and controls the reality. I agree that codependency is really fucking romantic, and having a kind and supportive mutual one is a lovely fantasy! It’s just...

A lot of harm eventuates from pursuing this fantasy in reality with a media-based conviction that it is 1) a reasonable thing to expect and 2) a necessary precondition for wellbeing and worthiness.

But we have poured so much cultural freight and need into this one single relationship format. At this point having need in any other direction is regarded as disordered and suspect and probably a misdirected application of sexual desire.

The law, too, has put a lot of energy into supporting the focus on seeking the romance as life goal, because the nuclear family is built on the codependent marriage, and capitalism likes the nuclear family very much. The nuclear family is extremely vulnerable to market pressures and bad at collective action, and tends to produce new tiny humans whose main social outlet has been within the school system, which is specifically structured to condition you to accept abusive workplace conditions as a normal precondition of existence, and not to attempt too much intimacy.

Ahem. Spiraled there. But! It’s all connected! Many of the privileges piled onto the institution of marriage were put there specifically because the nuclear family was considered desirable for the expansion of the economy. That’s clearly documented historical fact.

So yeah, the modern cultural obsession with the romance is a symptom of collective emotional disorder, and it chugs along at the expense of the more complex emotional support infrastructures most of us need and deserve.

It’s not just about me wanting representation, wanting an image in the narratives of my culture where I can see myself with the potential for happiness. Everyone needs this. We learn so much about how to be, how to relate to others, from media at this point, since the school system and other weird age-hierarchy stuff keeps us largely segregated from human society for a majority of our growing years and limits our exposure to live examples.

So the paucity of in-depth explorations of friendship, of mutual support, of widespread narrative acceptance that you can have a good life without a romance as its central support pillar, is harmful to people in general.

-

It’s funny, I get frustrated about this periodically, when a piece of media lets me down, or even when I’m following along a funny piece of meta and then the punchline is ‘and the ace character is obviously in denial about how they’re already dating their favorite person’ or whatever.

(The meta is annoying on a surface level and distressing on a deeper level because it’s a threat; so many times a good platonic relationship will buckle under public pressure and it doesn’t matter how asexual, how uninterested in romance, how emphatically platonic the affection has been established as being, The Romance arrives in the next installment of the story because it’s what people expect. Which reinforces the general perception that any other love is illegitimate, lesser, and as soon as it’s meant to be taken seriously it has to be crammed into that one valid shape, and invalidates future insistences in the same mode.

Seriously people stop doing this, we long since reached the point where a character saying in words ‘I have no romantic interest in [person]’ is perceived as a glaring neon sign that they’re destined to get together and that does not do good things for fostering a culture of consent. Obviously people are in denial sometimes but it should not be understood to be the rule.)

But I don’t get upset about it until someone starts in with reasons I’m bad and wrong for not liking these norms.

Like, whatever, media does not cater to my needs, I’ll cope, but when people start trying to get in my head and make me not only responsible for my own discomfort that I’m managing thanks but dishonest and malevolent I...get upset. There’s history there, okay.

‘You don’t care about this ship because you’re homophobic’ ‘you don’t want a love interest in the sequel because you’re racist’ ‘you don’t like romance in stories because you’re a misogynist’ fucking stop.

And occasionally it’s like ‘i guess you have the right to feel that way but how dare you talk about it where other people might hear’ which...well, is particularly common and particularly ironic in the context of people hung up on gay representation.

If we as a society had a healthy relationship with romance, there wouldn’t be negative side effects to that crowd’s pursuit of their worthy goal of applying that schema in places it has been Forbidden, but as it is we don’t, and there are.

The Two of Us

Thank you to the anon that requested an angsty OhmFong fic... this is the result! Hope you enjoy!

Still feel like I need to credit @yangkoogan @gaysarawat @earthfluuke for my obsession with OhmFong... 

At a distance, always at a distance…

Fong was never more than a text or an arm’s length away and yet the distance between Ohm and Fong was vast.

This was especially the case since Tine had started to hang out with them again. His relationship with Sarawat was finally out in the open despite everyone and their dog knowing it was heading in that direction so Tine had more to talk about than just the broody guitar player that he so obviously had feelings for. Fong had been right at Tine’s side throughout this experience, encouraging his friend to follow his feelings rather than his rational thought and worry about judgment from others.

Before they knew Tine, it had just been Ohm and Fong. They had been friends since Ohm could remember but as soon as Tine entered the picture, their relationship fractured somehow. Ohm saw the way that Fong looked at Tine liked he was something precious that could slip away at any moment. Fong had never looked at Ohm that way and that reality felt like a stab right to Ohm’s gut.

Ohm recalled the first time he saw Fong sitting at the edge of the playground, head buried in a book and glasses slipping down his nose. Ohm instantly wanted to know more about the isolated stranger but it took him a few weeks to work up the courage to approach his future best friend. Ohm had approached Fong silently and slowly sat down next to in his usual reading spot. Fong seemed to sense Ohm’s presence and closed his book, cocking his head to the side and looking at Ohm with a mix of curiosity and confusion. When Ohm didn’t know what to say and the silence began to border on awkward, Fong had reached into his schoolbag and pulled out another book and handed it to Ohm. While Ohm had never been a big reader, the gesture was so sweet and a symbol of an offered friendship that Ohm had spent the rest of the lunch break pretending to read while discretely staring at Fong out of the corner of his eye. The rest was history.

After that day, Ohm and Fong were the best of friends. Their parents always teased them about how much time they spent together but it never bothered either of them. They were happy to have one great friend who accepted them and supported them through both the good and the bad times. Fong helped Ohm when he almost failed Math, Ohm was there to hold Fong closely when Fong’s Grandmother passed away, Fong helped Ohm when his parents announced their divorce and Ohm protected Fong when a few of their schoolmates decided that Fong was the perfect punching bag. They were a dynamic duo and never really made a point of trying to connect with other kids their age. They had one another. That was more than enough.

It had been just Ohm and Fong until high school which is where Tine and Phuak came into the picture. Phuak was a new student and basically forced his friendship on Ohm and Fong but Tine had been a different story. Fong noticed Tine by himself one day during a break in classes, wandering around the hallways looking lost and had made a point of approaching Tine. Ohm remembered the interaction as vividly as if it had occurred yesterday because it was the moment that he felt a rift appear between him and Fong.

Fong fell hard and fast for Tine and while he refused to admit it aloud, Ohm saw his friend’s feelings appear the first time Fong saw Tine. During their high school years, Fong tortured himself by watching Tine cycle through girlfriend after girlfriend. Ohm was always sympathetic to Fong’s random mood swings when Tine would introduce another fling to the gang. He made sure to take Fong out for his favourite ice cream on those days to distract his best friend from the sadness he was experiencing because of Tine’s complete ignorance. Ohm wondered how Tine could not see how Fong looked at him but Ohm also never made a point of sharing the reality of Fong’s feelings with Tine.

Ohm did not know how he would be able to navigate the situation if Fong and Tine ever did end up together. The thought made him sick to his stomach, not because he didn’t want Fong to be happy, but because he was the one who should be making Fong happy, not Tine. This secret burned in Ohm’s mind and though it took him many years to recognize that his own feelings for Fong stretched beyond the realm of friendship, he knew that Fong would never feel the same way.

By the time they reached university, Tine was even more on the prowl than he had been in secondary school. When Green started to follow Tine around, Ohm saw how envious Fong looked of Green: how boldly and publicly he was able to declare how he felt about Tine. Fong also was fiercely protective of Tine so the gang’s sole focus became keeping Tine from Green.

While it had never been Ohm’s intention to have the fake dating plan with Sarawat turn into a real relationship, Ohm was pleasantly surprised how much alone time the whole setup gave him and Fong again. Phuak was ever consumed with his Youtube channel so Ohm and Fong were starting to get back to how they were before Tine disrupted everything. As much as Fong seemed to be in distress watching Tine fall for Sarawat, Ohm was there to quietly and discreetly support his friend through the mourning process. Fong had bounced back quicker than Ohm had expected which made him wonder if Fong’s feelings for Tine were beginning to fade.

But now that Tine and Sarawat’s relationship had settled into their honeymoon phase, Tine had noticed how little time he spent with his friends and made a concerted effort to reconnect with the gang. Ohm cursed this sudden change in Tine’s perception as Tine usually could not see past the end of his own nose and usually operated in a rather selfish manner. His relationship with the campus heartthrob seemed to be doing wonders for Tine’s self growth and Fong was going out of his way to spend as much time with Tine as possible, even if it meant changing plans that he and Ohm had had in place for weeks.

Ohm wondered if he would ever have Fong’s full attention. He knew that his best friend would never look at him the way that Ohm wanted but he was grateful for whatever scraps he could get. It sometimes made him feel ridiculous and desperate but Fong was worth the wait, even if they were never more than just best friends.

As long as they were close, Ohm was fine but recently it seemed like Fong was drifting out of reach…

“Ohm.”

It was a rare occasion where Ohm and Fong found themselves alone. They were studying in Fong’s dorm room, each on one side of Fong’s study desk. Ohm had been zoning out overthinking things as he usually did when Fong called him back to the present.

“Ohm, are you feeling okay?” Fong asked and cocked his head to the side in a way that reminded Ohm of their first meeting. “If you need to take a break from studying, we could go grab something to eat before we got to the show later…Tine and Phuak said they’d meet us there.”

“I think I’ll pass.” Ohm muttered, feeling dejected that Tine had already been brought up in the few moments they had together. “I probably need to get as much studying in as I can or I’ll get an earful from the professor.”

“I can make you a study guide.” Fong expressed with a sympathetic look in his eyes. “That way you can come see the show and still feel okay about your exam.”

Ohm dropped his chin into his hands. “You can go to the show without me. It’s fine.”

“Are you running a fever?” Fong put down the textbook that he had been studying on the table and reached across to press a hand to Ohm’s forehead. He bit his lip and sat back down in his chair, “You’re fine. I don’t get it…. why don’t you want to go? There hasn’t been a time where we’ve managed to get the whole gang together for weeks!”

This made Ohm even less interested in going. “I’m fine, Fong. I just need some alone time. I don’t need to be around the gang always like you do….”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Fong was starting to get frustrated. He only ever got this way when he didn’t understand something, otherwise he was usually able to keep his emotions in check.

Ohm wondered how someone as smart as Fong could be so dense. He felt frustration rising in him as well and blurted out, “I don’t need to be around Tine and Phuak all the time. It was better when it was just the two of us.”

Ohm regretted the words as soon as they passed through his lips but knew he would never be able to take them back. In less than two sentences, Ohm worried that he had ruined everything, especially with the blank stare that Fong was giving him.

“I… what do you mean, Ohm?” Fong practically whispered, searching his friend’s eyes for some further explanation or justification for this sudden outburst.

Ohm hung his head in defeat and moved to stand up. “I think it’s best if I just go…”

He moved toward the door to escape the utter humiliation of his ill-received confession. Just as he was about to put his hand on the doorknob, he felt Fong thread his arms under Ohm’s and pull him into a hug from behind. The unexpected contact caused Fong’s breath to hitch in surprise as he felt Fong’s hot breath dance across his shoulder blades.

Fong nuzzled his head into Ohm’s back and murmured, “You can’t go. You don’t get to just leave me. That’s not how this works.”

Ohm’s fists clenched. He knew that Fong meant losing him as a friend and the internal battle of Ohm’s feelings for Fong was at its peak. Ohm knew that Fong just wanted to his best friend and while Fong did not understand what was going on, he still was willing to fight for Ohm which just felt like another stab to Ohm’s gut.

He took a deep breath and slowly turned maneuvered himself sot hat he was facing Fong. Fong’s arms were still tightly wound around Ohm as if he was terrified that to let Ohm go lest he disappear forever. Ohm looked down at his concerned friend and sighed deeply before muttering, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Fong rested his head against Ohm’s chest and Ohm tried desperately to keep his heart rate in check. “I didn’t know that you wanted to spend more time just the two of us… why didn’t you tell me before?”

Ohm was beyond conflicted. He felt as if he was being tugged in too many directions. This is what we wanted, more time to spend with Fong alone but he was just setting himself up for self-torture.

If he didn’t say it now, he knew he never would so with a deep breath, Ohm shared his truth: “Because I want more than you can give me.”

Ohm gently unwound Fong’s arms from him so there was space between them again. He didn’t dare to look Fong in the eyes and moved once again toward the door to make his escape. The shame and regret he was experiencing was enough to make him break down right then and there but he kept himself in check enough to take his leave from Fong.

“But maybe I can.” Fong cried out and made Ohm freeze in his place. “Maybe that’s what I want too.”

Ohm turned quickly and felt like he was looking at Fong for the first time. Ohm shared, his voice wavering slightly, “You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better, Fong. I’ll get over it… I’ll just need some time and space.”

“No. You’re not hearing me.” Fong closed the distance between them again, clutching Ohm’s hands in his own. “I don’t want space. I don’t want time. I want us.”

Before he could even properly registered Fong’s words, Fong had reached up and pressed his lips to Ohm’s. Ohm instantly melted into the kiss that he had been imagining in his mind for years. It was hard for him to embrace the fact that he was really kissing the very person he loved more than the world.

The kiss stretched on and even though Ohm did not want it to end, he pulled away slowly, wanting to take stock of where Fong was at. Fong’s cheeks were flushed and he had a somewhat distant look in his eyes that Ohm had never seen before.

“Fong, are you okay?” Ohm questioned.

A grin spread across Fong’s lips and he murmured, “I’m great. I’ve just been thinking about doing that for a long time…”

“Seriously?” Ohm asked, in complete shock. It turned out that maybe he was the ignorant one in this whole ordeal. “I never thought… but you never said… or did anything… and Tine… I thought you… huh?”

Fong laughed at Ohm’s stuttering, “I have wanted to be more than your best friend for years. Sure, Tine is a good friend but you are…. you are everything to me.”

Ohm still wondered if he was dreaming. This was everything he had always wanted to hear from Fong but never thought it would be a reality. He pulled Fong into a tight hug and didn’t ever want to let go.

The distance between them had mended. They were no longer two being separated by an unnameable rift. Their feelings were out in the open and Ohm never wanted to go back to how they were before.

“You mean more to me than you can possibly imagine.” Ohm admitted and the words that had so often scared him suddenly put him at ease. “To me, it’s just the two us.”

To understand a ghost kid

[Maddie decides to interrogate Phantom in a final effort to discover his ghost obsession. The conversation ends up taking a more emotional turn than she expected]

~~~

"You won't be getting out anytime soon. That's a new anti ghost-power design."

Danny struggled in the luminous green net for a few seconds more before ultimately resigning with a sigh.

"I thought things were going well! You haven't tried to capture me for months."

His mother seemed surprised at his remark. She probably hadn't thought he'd paid much attention to their truce, thanks to her prejudices about ghosts not having emotions all together. However, she composed herself quickly as usual.

"A deal is a deal, I don't plan to harm you this time."

"This time?"

She ignored him. "I need to ask you some questions?"

"Then just ask me! No need for the stupid net." He retorted, pushing against the net once more.

"The net is a precaution. I can't have you running away before you can answer."

"Geez what kinda question is this?"

"It's about your origins. How you died to be more precise"

"Oh… oh! My er-" He settled uncomfortably onto the ground in a cross legged position, despite the net. This would be interesting. "Why do you need to know about that anyway?"

"We've recently been trying to make connections between ghosts, their obsessions, and their deaths. Majority we have solid hypotheses, and a couple we've even confirmed." Now that, Danny was curious about. They actually managed to track down who some of his enemies were before death?

"Go on." She seemed surprised but excited by his will to listen.

"Ghosts come from a range of eras which comes across in their mannerisms, and their passion at time of death is their obsession, which becomes more warped overtime. Whether it be passion as in love or their career, or as in revenge or desperate wants."

Maddie paused her pacing and glanced over to see if he was still listening. He was. She continued, now stood resolutely still.

"You are one of the very few anomalies we found"

"How so?"

He could guess.

"You have no indicators of how you died. Not only do you use modern speech and even slang, you wear a modern hazmat suit, that looks strikingly like ours at that."

That's cause it is.

"So I have two questions. When did you die, and what's your obsession?"

Danny wasn't sure if she was pausing for an answer or not. It was likely her way of testing his cooperativeness, but he had a question of his own.

"I appreciate your curiosity but this doesn't seem like the kind of thing you'd go through the trouble of trapping me for. Why do you really want to know this?"

Maddie walked closer to the net, her calm pace and lack of a weapon showing the gain of trust the two had gotten over the months, even if it wasn't perfect.

"That's pretty simple: I'm a scientist. I do research. And while I can't do physical tests on you as I originally wanted, I can at least do as much research as I can into how ghosts work without that. And your obsessions are extremely important to this." She leaned down towards him as he was still on the floor and pointed a finger upwards, like a teacher telling off a preschooler. Danny bit back an amused smirk. "You seem to break the clear rules that have worked just fine so far, so what I need to know is why."

"You didn't say anything about me breaking any rules."

Maddie stood back up straight and crossed her arms, Danny carefully stood up to join her as she talked.

"You've broken a few. The main being that you seem to have no obsession. My first assumption was that your heroics where just that. It would explain your desperate need to help people and likely meant your last moments involved saving someone, or wishing to be saved yourself."

That made Danny think. Had he wished someone could save him back during the accident? It was a pretty likely reaction considering how much that amount of energy had hurt, but he'd never considered it actually altering his perception or feelings.

"But," his mother's continuation snapped him back to the present, "I ruled that out. In most cases ghosts will stop at nothing to stick to their obsessions, including contradicting other aspects of themselves, or making unlikely alliances, excetera. But while I've observed carefully, every time I've encountered you over the last three weeks, you will often go on unusual tangents."

Tangents...?

~~~

Based on the look in the ghosts eyes he didn't know what she meant. He likely just hadn't recognised that his own behaviour was unusual. Not surprising, but she couldn't make any judgements until this mystery was resolved.

"In short, you aim to help people, but will go off elsewhere to finish a fight, or alternate between fights. You've also paused battles altogether to chat or tease your opponent. And how frequently you are late and disappear after or during fights or helping people. Whatever the reasons for that are, a ghost typically should follow their obsession no matter what, and at all times. In other words, you can get distracted which isn't right."

Not right for ghosts at least. It was definitely more of a human trait, but she left that out.

"So what's your next theory? Or do you have some explanation in mind for why I'm different?" Maddie looked intently back at Phantom to see an incredibly focused expression that was rare on the young spirit. He was strongly invested in this topic, but she couldn't tell why. Did he know something she didn't that had an impact on her theories?

"I had a couple other hypotheses for your obsession that fell through for basically the same reasons." She crouched down to unpin the net, carefully slinging it off of him. She was confident he wouldn't leave at this point. He watched it fall and smiled gratefully, but didn't try to move. "That's why I decided to ask you personally. Though I wasn't sure it'd be something you were willing to talk about."

"Why, because it supposedly involved my death?" He promotes. She hadn't expected him to be so blunt about it but,

"Yes, mostly. Do you actually have any memory of it? If you don't mind me asking?" Honestly that was the question she had wanted to start with. Phantom merely looked away in thought. Not as if he was avoiding it or recalling something, more like he was contemplating. Perhaps he was deciding how to explain.

"I… I remember having a family. And friends." He finally responded. She didn't fill the silence between his sentences hoping he'd add more detail. "I was just, erm, 14, and there was… an accident. It involved an explosion. Of sorts."

"An explosion?" That was awfully dramatic for just a child's death. He looked a little older than 14, but that part was sure believable.

"It was um, not a big one. A device in our home malfunctioned and I just happened to be around it at the time. It was a mistake." If it was an accident how could it also be a mistake? He was definitely leaving out some details but she couldn't bring herself to pry. This was clearly a touchy subject, for obvious reasons.

"So you do remember." He seemed to be startled back into reality and he looked back up at her, the energetic green glow she hadn't noticed had been gone until just now quickly coming back into his eyes.

"Yeah- sort of. It's a little fuzzy."

"Does anything about what you remember give us any clues to what your obsession is?" In other words, what he thought about right before death. That part of the question didn't need saying for him to seemingly pick up on it.

"I don't know exactly, no, sorry. I'm as curious as you are to be honest."

"What about? Your obsession or your death?"

"Both?" Phantom answered vaguely with a shrug.

Maddie had also secretly been digging for any strange circumstances around his death. If they couldn't find a plausible obsession, maybe they could find the reason he didn't have one instead. But his description sounded pretty normal. A household accident. An electrical glitch most likely. While it wasn't a common cause of death it wasn't as erratic as getting mauled while illegally hunting a rare species or burning your house down with you inside it over a guy. There was nothing to go off there, except…

Maybe she'd have to pry a little after all.

~~~

"You said it was a mistake?" Danny pouted at the tricky question.

He'd carefully spun his freak portal accident into a more believable and unrelated tale. She'd managed to catch his little slip up after he had dazed off into the memory, but at this point he'd stick to his half-truth story. He wasn't a very good liar after all.

"It was my fault really. I wanted to show my friends something cool but we shouldn't have been there at all. At least it wasn't either of them that got hurt because of me."

He could tell she was a little frustrated at how vague he was being, but any further would be too much. He stopped there.

"Maybe regret has something to do with it?" After a long moment of awkward silence Maddie eventually resigned back to her theories. "Regret that you went somewhere you shouldn't, or more likely, regret that you died young."

Danny was a little startled by her conclusion. She'd said that last couple words so clearly; she was sure of this.

~~~

Phantom's reaction only made her feel more strongly that this was the one. It actually explained so much. He acted like a teenager: he was up to date on what kids are into and how they talk, plus he acts just like a kid often. Getting distracted all the time actually complimented this obsession instead of contradicting it. His whole heroics act wasn't really that much of an act, because that was just his innocent moral compass, that he miraculously maintained in death thanks to desperately wanting to continue living out his teenage years like his friends could. It's why he seemed so human. He practically still was one because his obsession was to remain human or 'alive', and making the most of his second chance at existing. It wasn't an exact answer but it was too clear now to argue with.

Maddie turned to the ghostly teenager. She could see him in a slightly different light now that she knew his drive really wasn't secretly malicious after all. Not that she'd truly believed that recently anyway.

"You seem pretty human sometimes, Phantom" she commented, smiling.

Phantom looked up at her suddenly and his eyes widened a little. He stared at her for a long moment, seeming nervous. After a moment, he blinked and wiped the expression off his face, but his shoulders still looked tense.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think that has something to do with your obsession. It's the only good explanation for your more unexplainable behaviour ironically." Maddie admitted.

“Ah.” Phantom’s tension eased and he looked down at the floor. His eyes seemed tired... He didn't look relieved, more… disheartened? Had he been expecting something else? And had he wanted to hear that or not, as neither reaction had been positive. She resorted to asking a question she never thought she'd be asking a ghost. Let alone one she spent half a year trying to catch and examine.

~~~

"Are you okay?" Danny heard Maddie ask, her strongest motherly tone coming through clearly now. He didn't look up at her yet, afraid he'd see her concerned expression and just break character completely.

"I'm alright, thanks. It's just been a slightly different conversation than I expected."

"Alright. I suppose this topic is hard on you. I know you might not think you can trust me but I'm here to talk if you need it okay?"

Danny smiled. She'd said this to him a million times before. "I know mom. Thanks."

~~~