some people need to get creative and write themselves. copying people’s works and reposting them as your own is so embarrassing and pathetic.

if you get your dick stuck in a saw trap call that another cock in the murder machine

Birthday today! Thanks for having me, everyone <3

isn't it weird how if you get up at 7 or 8, do your work all day, then have free time and go to bed at 11 that's absolutely fine

but if i said i get up at 10, do fun stuff in the morning then work in the evening and go to bed late, i could be called lazy, nevermind that i'm getting just as much or MORE work done as i would in a traditional work day

Ghost Marriage Allows More Than One!

Tim wakes up in a hotel room in Vegas snuggled against a chest but he wasn't surprised.

He had been in the Sin City for a WE meeting and had brought Bernard along the trip since Tim's birthday was just shy a few days into it and well he wanted to spend time with his boyfriend since most of his family were off world (Dick, Jason, and Bruce all had important missions and they all apologized for missing out and Tim couldn't blame them he understood and he himself couldn't get out of the Vegas meetings no matter what he tried to do.) Or couldn't come to join him (Damian had school as did Duke and Alfred was taking care of them while the others were gone. Steph and Cass were out of country working with some important things with Babs and again he understood.) (Did it still sting yes but they all promised to make it up when they got back, Alfred even promised a coffee cake just for him)

So yeah, Vegas meeting trip turned somewhat birthday fun with his boyfriend. And since Bernard has always been good with encouraging Tim to try things it came to no surprise that during their stay he had managed to convince Tim to try drinking for the night.

Yes terrible influence Bernard was sometimes, but he did make a point. Tim was an adult now and sometimes it's okay to at least try adult dumb stuff, he didn't have to like it and could stop if he really didnt want to but he can at least say he tried it once. That it was okay for Tim to let go of his vigilante brain and just have fun in the one city that was made for it.

So try Tim did. Just for the night.

So yeah, Tim wasn't really surprised when he woke up the next morning, alcohol aftertaste on his breath, head pounding, nose scrunched up from the light of the sun peeking in from the curtains, and snuggling himself into a rather chilly chest...

Wait...

Chilly?

Tim opened his eyes when he realized that. Bernard never felt cold to Tim when they would snuggle, no he was always warm, like a warm heating blanket. It was why Tim loved snuggling him. Why was he-

Tim's eyes widened when he saw not blonde hair on the body in the bed with him but black hair. He almost flung himself off the bed from him startling awake and watched the one he had been snuggled next to mumble in his sleep and turn over.

Tim felt pure dread as he continued to stare, his stomach turning as his thoughts got bad, oh god..God... did he... oh no, no, no no. Oh where was Bernard- FUCK did he really-

Tim flinched when he heard a door open and snapped his eyes towards it. He felt his mouth go dry when he spotted his boyfriend coming out of what was the bathroom of the room and had just finished taking a shower from the sounds of left over dripping water and from the towel he was using to clean his hair.

Bernard stopped in his spot when he noticed Tim staring at him before he gave Tim a very uneasy chuckle, his eyes darting towards the sleeping body on the bed "H-Hey, good morning T. I see you... uhh seen our guest."

Tim felt ready to cry, to beg for forgiveness, but the only sound that came out was a strangled sound because of course he fucked up and ruined one of the best things that ever happened to him and-

But before he could spiral further into his anxiety and dread Bernard kept speaking.

"So ummm. Do you also remember meeting Danny at the bar, getting really tipsy, hanging out, having fun and then like going to a ghost bar with him so he could really drunk because he's like half ghost. And I mean like a legit ghost bar, like we saw Elvis and Marilyn Monroe there and they were like floating. Then we all got like super mega drunk and then... maybe kinda sorta got ghost married... because ghost marriage allows unlimited spouses cause you know, already dead doesn't matter and it's also almost permanent cause again the whole dead thing... Or did I hallucinate all that last night and we just brought in a random stranger to bed?" He asked his voice unsure as he looked between Tim and the stranger Danny in bed before lifting his hand up and showing Tim a glowing ring on it. "I'm pretty sure I didn't dream it up because I kinda woke up with this, and it refuses to come off."

Tim went silent for a moment, wide eyed as he stared back at Bernard before the pounding headache he had hit him harder than ever when the very memories of everything Bernard had said came flooding back to him. With a gasp Tim quickly looked st his own hand and sure enough on his finger was a matching glowing wedding band on it, his eyes snapped towards Danny... Danny Nightingale? Or was it Phantom? said his name was and spotted another matching one as well.

"B is going to kill us." Was the only thing Tim could muster up to say.

i think i need a lobotomy

a little Postlet. . because i Miss them

“Again, with the horn?”

I was thinking about this & something tells me if Fizz used the horn every morning, Ozzie would eventually get used to it & sleep through it. It still works on Ozzie because the horn isn’t the only thing Fizz uses to wake him.

He has various things.

All of them extremely obnoxious, but unapologetically & fittingly Fizz.

Okay hear me out.... Journey to west au. Sun being the monkey king from the book and Y/N a traveller. Y/N rescues him from under the mountain and he joins them in their travels. Moon is a demon that's terrorising a town until Y/N and Sun stop him. Moon then joins the two. Finally Eclipse is another demon that kidnaps Y/N in order to eat them but instead is so utterly charmed by them that he joins the party. Shenanigans ensue... Thoughts?

The great monkey king is indebted to a mortal but he has little qualms with escorting you on your travels as a way to give his thanks for rescuing him from underneath the mountain. His magic and strength are at your disposal. Strangely, you prefer traveling peacefully and quietly, avoiding trouble and helping those in need when the two of you come upon them. The monkey king thinks you are vulnerable and too trusting, and he decides to protect you at all costs.

The lunar demon does not take kindly to his mischievousness and destruction being wrought, but when you and the monkey king stop the mayhem he inflicts upon a small town, the lunar demon can't help but become amused and intrigued by a daring, bold mortal who is so calm in the face of dangerous, sharp teeth, red eye demon. He thinks you are naive and foolish, but he follows you and the monkey king because who else will watch over you at night? Who will keep you safe from the other toothy and red-eye demons?

It is not too long down the road of your seemingly endless travels that a problem arises. The monkey king and the lunar demon venture to the river to fetch you food and drink and while you toil, you feel the shadow of a great personage fall upon you before you are snatched away. You struggle and call for your dear, new friends, but the dark being smuggles you into his cave. He ties you up and leaves you on the floor of his home as he prepares to eat you. You, however, remain calm and speak with the great demon and learn he is the eclipse prince. The eclipse prince wants nothing more than to cook and devour you, but you convince him to allow you to serve him tea first. Pleased by the offer, the eclipse prince unties you. You serve him a tea you have used to comfort the monkey king and calm the lunar demon, and speak with the eclipse prince. The conversation continues until the pot of tea is gone and he tells you to prepare another, pot after pot until he is laughing and telling you that he has forgotten his hunger—your charm and allure have sated him. He will let you go and return you to your companions, but you invite him to join your company.

The eclipse prince is pleased to accept. He opens his cave and returns with you to the monkey king and the lunar demon. When you come upon them, they are furious and frantic. They act quickly to take you back and prepare to attack the one who carried you away before you calm them. The eclipse prince stands rather unapologetically as you explain that he is now joining the three of you. The lunar demon does not take kindly to this change and the monkey king hovers close to you, refusing to let you leave his sights while the eclipse prince seamlessly joins the camp and prepares a pot of tea for you to drink.

You continue your travels, glad to have such devoted company.

The original in the bottom

Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny

resident evils.... snoozing

creating the ULTIMATE housewarden

uuuwhaahahahahahwwhhh‼️‼️‼️ thor whispering "always protect jane" to mjolnir has been one of the greatest professions of love in the entire mcu!! in a drunken, sleepy stupor on a random, normal weeknight-in he enchanted a mighty weapon that measures your "worthiness" with only a heartfelt thought spoken aloud. it's not about intention but the WEIGHT and sincerity of his feelings. mjolnir "indestructible" and all-powerful and fickle and broken, but it listened and gave jane a chance to fight. to fight for her love, their love, her life,,, in her own way! his words reached her and saved her to save him to help her really save him all while fighting to make herself proud, and woowwww loving is worth it guys 🥺

god i want. an au where it dosn't work. where it's just arr g'raha who's woken up, and he doesn't have all these memories and all these people keep looking at him like they're mourning someone. the world has changed and time has changed and all the people he knows have changed, but he hasn't changed, he was just sleeping, just sleeping, and the world nearly ended several times and apparently he helped prevent yet another end but he has no memory of this. they want him to join the scions. he does not know these people. (he barely knows the warrior of light, now, but did he ever truly know them in the first place?) his little sister is alive and well. she looks at him like a ghost. she's changed, and she's older than him now. he acts bratty and loud and brash to cover up the fact that he does not know anything it seems, and he is tired but he was sleeping for so long, so how could he be tired?

he doesn't know these people. they seem to know him. he wonders if he'd killed someone, when it was him and not that exarch who woke up. he wonders if it should have been him who was "killed" in that way, if it is him that lives and not that man who had known and become friends with all these figures from legend. he wonders if he'll always be fated to be a historian one step back from everything, because he simply cannot be a hero.

Ahhhh, I love the worldbuilding you have for the Mirror World! DMK seems pretty incompetent, in contrast to his counterpart, ha ha. Can he hold his own in a fight, or does Mir Falspar have to drag out his barely-conscious ragdoll body back the base every time?

The issue stems from DMK rarely seeing a reason to fight in the first place. He assumes anyone who meets him wouldn't have the gall to try, and therefore is vastly unprepared for most surprise attacks, resulting in... Well, a lot of fumbling. His fighting style relies less on charging in headfirst, and more with how much he can dodge, trick, and bluff his way to a victory, with little regard for annoying things like honor that get in the way. DMK's tendency to tick off anyone he can in as little time as possible doesn't help either.

He could hypothetically hold his own in a fight—if motivated, that is, which doesn't happen as often as Mir Arthur would like. Mir Falspar on the other hand, isn't one to stand around if he sees anything happening that he can prevent. It's his job, after all. He's supposed to be guarding anyone a part of the alliance. DMK can complain about not needing to be saved all he wants, Mir Falspar will keep doing it.

JADEITE REDOLENCE ❖ favorite chenyu vale overworld tracks