smorch...

Hi hi, so I saw you take req rn! So I wanted to request some Minho x fem reader fluff, maybe something like him making reader feel safe and secure like he is giving her the chance to just be herself and let go and heal her inner child, not necessarily angsty, just him maybe taking care of her in a sweet way, like letting her play games at the arcade she never got to try or figure out videogames or something like that✨

Would looove to see what you do with that💕have a great dayyy!

ೃ⁀➷ lee minho x reader

warnings: notning just sweet sweet fluff

As the sun began to set, Minho led you to a bustling arcade, the colorful lights and lively sounds filling the air. He knew how much you loved games and wanted to create a space where you could let go and have fun, just like your inner child.

With a warm smile, Minho handed you a handful of tokens. "This is your playground, Let's make some amazing memories together."

You couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort and security as you stepped into the arcade. Minho's presence beside you was like a shield, protecting you from the worries and stresses of the world. He encouraged you to try every game that caught your eye, patiently guiding you through the controls and cheering you on with every victory.

The two of you laughed and played, the worries of the day melting away. Minho's eyes sparkled with joy as he watched you immerse yourself in the games, your laughter echoing through the arcade.

After a few rounds of intense competition, Minho suggested trying out a multiplayer game. As you sat side by side, he gently took your hand in his, his touch sending a wave of warmth and reassurance through you. His fingers intertwined with yours, creating a sense of connection that made you feel safe and cherished.

With Minho's guidance, you quickly caught on to the game mechanics, and soon you were both engrossed in the virtual world. The way he supported and encouraged you, even in the face of defeat, made you feel like you could conquer anything with him by your side.

Between rounds, Minho leaned closer, his voice soft and filled with affection. "you're incredible. I love seeing you so carefree and happy. You deserve all the joy in the world."

His words touched your heart, and you couldn't help but lean into his comforting presence. In that moment, you realized that Minho was not only your partner but also your safe haven, a person who saw the beauty in your vulnerability and nurtured your inner child.

As the night drew to a close, you left the arcade hand in hand, your heart overflowing with gratitude for the love and care Minho had shown you. With him, you felt like you could heal, grow, and embrace the joy of simply being yourself.

Together, you walked into the starlit night, knowing that with Minho by your side, you would always have a safe space to let go, heal, and experience the purest.

ok so i got minimal feedback wanting an ol essay so heres the word vomit version

tl;dr version:

the Our Life series is unlike other VNs in multiple respects--primarily due to its customization, but also due to the goal it sets out to achieve. Most other visual novels are driven by stories and a story climax and resolution. The goal of those VNs is to tell a specific story. OL’s goal is to create a cozy and safe space for the player, and the only things that are not changeable are the MCs family, and the fact that they have one or more neighbors. This has benefits and restrictions in what GB Patch can do with the media.

OL’s goal is to offer a safe space where the player feels loved, supported and welcome, making it an excellent way to explore gender presentation and identity, especially in OLNF, which adds a complex pronoun system and more complex relationship charts. This is a huge benefit, as gender exploration is nigh impossible for some people, and this series makes it readily accessible and fun to experiment with. The writing is very applicable to any gender, with little inherent gendering, if any, making it an excellent playground for gender exploration.

OL does, through this safe-space, lose its ability to tell complex stories or address more complex social themes such as racism, homophobia, etc. The closest mention of it is when Baxter mentions his parents being sheltered. The writers want people to miss out on as little content as possible, regardless of the player’s choices. The only way youre losing significant playtime/content of the LIs is when playing on indifferent, which makes sense. There are few differences between fond and crush, and just as few between friends and lovers, and this is on purpose. the point of OL is to create a space where everyone feels at home, and boundaries are respected. Touchy MCs and touch averse MCs are meant to find a place in this world. This does restrict in terms of complexity, though. The lack of difference between romance and platonic interactions may make some players feel like there isnt a lot of romance, but the other point OL makes is that the only real difference between romance and friendship is the definition.

in OLBA, theres a DLC moment for Cove in step 3 called Happiness, where he takes MC on a few outings. If MC is dating Cove, theyre dates, but if theyre just friends, theyre outings. The content is overall the same, bc the point is that romance is just a friendship with a different label and some boundaries--whatever those may be.

OL isnt trying to be complex or thought provoking. It’s a place to experiment with gender, live the idyllic childhood friendship of your dreams, and simply feel loved. it doesnt need to be complex or especially dramatic (though characters like baxter do stand out in a lineup of non-dramatic characters). It does what it sets out to do, and any critique of the writing and choices should take into account what OL wants to achieve VS what the person critiquing it would have personally enjoyed.

What does a traditional family/House dynamic look like, especially in terms of children?

[Does the whole House live in one large building, or is the House more of a common family space? Are children usually cared for by their parents, or is child minding more of a communal responsibility along the lines of "it takes a village to raise a child"? Etc.] < please treat these questions as additional questions like the ones on a school test that the teacher puts in to make sure that the student understands the original big question. I only included them so you could know what I meant when I say "House/family dynamic", because I know that can be confusing

Gosh, I wish you'd have written my exams.

What does a traditional family/House dynamic look like?

Houses are both residences and familial hubs containing a lot of related Gallifreyans. Here's what the dynamic typically looks like, especially when it comes to raising children:

🏠 Brief House Overview

First, a bit of context - Gallifreyan Houses are huge, often sentient structures. They're designed to support entire extended families, often containing multiple generations.

Interior Design: Houses often have high ceilings, large rooms, and sprawling corridors. This setup is on purpose - designed to make newly loomed Gallifreyans feel like children (many loomlings are created with fully-grown adult bodies).

Living Spaces: Houses contain individual bedrooms, communal living spaces, and operational facilities such as the Loomshed. They also have their own crypts for dead House members.

Animated Features: The Houses often have animated furniture, which, if not properly trained, might chase people around. Paintings whisper at passing cousins, and Druges, large automated humanoid servants, roam the premises, performing various duties.

👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 Family Dynamics

Gallifreyan families tend to be large and very hierarchical, with cousins, aunts, uncles, and other relatives living under the same roof. There's a strong thread of communal responsibility and shared upbringing when it comes to childrene (childe = singular, childrene = plural):

Childcare: Childrene are typically cared for by a combination of their parents and other relatives. Parents are present and will look after their child, performing the usual trips out to the galactic zoo or whatever.

Education: The responsibility for education and upbringing is communal, with older House members playing a significant role in brainbuffing (the educational process designed to shape young Gallifreyan minds). This is supported by the help of Avatroids - mechanical beings who were (basically) enslaved by the Time Lords. The boy Doctor had his own personal Avatroid named Badger, whose job it was to protect and educate him.

Communal Responsibilities: Given the House's size and structure, childcare is often a collective effort. The extended family takes part in guiding the children's education and development, with the aim of instilling a sense of duty and obedience ie. House values.

🧒 Children and Brainbuffing

As mentioned, childrene undergo brainbuffing, a rigorous educational process that equips them with a ton of knowledge before they step out into the big wide world. This process involves both formal schooling and informal training at home.

Early Education: During the first eight years, childrene are educated in writing, culture, mathematics, and science, surpassing the knowledge level of many human college students. Extended family members play a significant role in this process.

Traditional Activities: Despite the emphasis on duty, childrene can happily engage in activities like lushberrying and playing with onion dolls. However, there are no playgrounds on Gallifrey due to the focus on obedience.

Communal Upbringing: The entire House contributes to the upbringing, fostering a strong sense of community and collective responsibility.

🔥Then Comes Life

At the age of eight, children are snatched away from all of this and put into Chapter Academies away from their Houses and families for around 200 years. Bummer.

🏫 So ...

Gallifreyan Houses blend family living with communal responsibilities. They focus on fostering a sense of duty and service, with a significant emphasis on education and discipline. While parents play a crucial role in raising childrene, the communal approach ensures that every child has a network of support and guidance throughout their early years, which is then completely turned on its head.

Hope that helped! 😃

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Dreamy Desires (Incubus!Echo x Fem!Reader)

Summary: Echo needs a good meal and your dreams are are like a five star restaurant to him.

Rating: Explicit (minors begone!)

Word Count: 4,493

Warnings: Soft Dom Echo, dream sex/magic, role playing as vampires, biting,wax/pain play, praising, body worship, oral (F receiving) , being interrupted, mentions of masturbation. Disclaimer! This is not a real life depiction of wax play, I'm taking liberties because this is fiction and dealing with dream magic. Please do your research, don't just grab a random ass candles and pour them on yourself or your partner, stay safe.

Echo was drifting in the world between worlds, the space between the waking world and sleep. The true domain of his kind.

Or, if you wanted to be truly dramatic, one could call it the hunting ground for incubi and succubi.

He personally didn’t like that comparison, it wasn’t as if he was chasing a deer down with a rifle in order to get his next meal. Hell, Echo wasn’t even here to browse the dreamscapes of unsuspecting humans, looking for any horned out victim who would let him in for a nice roll in the proverbial hay. Instead, he was concentrating on finding a very specific human. The fact that he was hungry and would get a nice meal out of the visit was only part of the reason he was here.

The space that rested between sleep and the waking world was tricky to navigate, even for an incubus of his skill, especially when trying to block out the dreams of the thousands who called this section of Coruscant home. The terrain of this plane was just as mercurial as dreams themselves, elusive and disorienting to those who weren’t careful. It was worth it, though. To see you, it was more than worth it.

When he felt that familiar flood of comfort and familiarity, Echo let out a breath and opened his eyes, coming face to face with the barrier of your dreamscape.

It appeared to him like a bubble or glass orb, filled with smokey colors that reminded him of you. Echo put his hands on it and instantly felt the flood of your current emotional state. He let out a moan as the lust filled his senses. Good, his barely subtle flirting throughout the work day had gotten you riled up. So wound tight in fact, that even in your dreams you were still thinking about him, which was all the invitation his kind needed to enter your dreams.

Focusing his magic on the place where his hands met the barrier, Echo closed his eyes again and pushed. It gave way easily, your subconscious opening up to him with wide arms. When the incubus opened them again, he found himself standing in a haze coated, jigsawed version of your apartment. As usual, he found your dream form curled up in the bed at one side of the room, sleeping with the covers pulled halfway down your body, hands by your head in a vulnerable and delicate display that already had heat rushing below his belt.

If he wanted to, he could wake you with a snap of his fingers and take you right there, just like this. But Echo had plans for you, ones he had been thinking up all night, ever since he saw your choice in reading material that day. 

He was going to weave your dreamscape into a perfect little playground.

The moment he saw you reading that delightfully trashy paranormal romance while on your break, he knew he had to give you a nice little fantasy tonight. If your distracted body language hadn’t told him exactly what kind of scene you were reading, the lustful hue of your aura had. No incubus was a full on mind reader, but they could sense when thoughts turned dirty and yours had been absolutely filth-ridden. Not to mention the bravery it took to read something like that in public, Echo admired it greatly.

So, knowing that his plan would be worth the wait, Echo put his self control to good use and tore his gaze away from your stunning body wrapped in the sheets. He turned to the room at large, already imagining what he could conjure up. You would sleep peacefully while he worked, giving you a full immersion into the fantasy when he woke the part of you that inhabited this dream world.

He caught his hazy reflection in your full length mirror and he made for quite the startling vision. Leathery wings at his back, thin tail lazily brushing the air, the small horns peaking over his brow. Usually, Echo did not hide his form, you always seemed very enthralled with his demonic appearance while he took you over and over again. Tonight, though, tonight he would take on the look of another dangerous creature.

Echo raised his hands and, with a snap of his fingers, began to mold the dream world into his vision.

Before you were aware of anything, before you opened your eyes or even realized you had been sleeping, you first noted how decadent the fabric beneath you felt. Something crackled nearby, something that made you feel warm, all while rain pattered further in the distance.

All this came to you before you opened your eyes and, when you finally did, your sleep-coated vision was obscured by a luscious red duvet. You found yourself smiling, arms pulling the cover away from your face and hugging it comfortingly to your chest as your sight started to clear little by little. 

They now took in the extravagant bed, the gothic furniture, the…

Wait…

You shot up straight in the bed that wasn’t yours, head whipping around to take in the room that also, most definitely, wasn’t yours either. It was like something straight out of a holonovel, from the hand carved headboard made from the richest wood, to the thick draping curtains over the arching windows, to the chandeliers and candelabras holding countless dripping candles. And, as you noticed before, rain pattered outside the stone, castle-like walls, while a fireplace crackled on the opposite side of the room from your large four poster bed.

None of this was your tiny, one room apartment in the cramped city of Coruscant.

“What in the actual…” you found yourself muttering, pulling the covers away- only to find that you weren’t wearing your regular night clothes either. Instead you were draped on a flowing attire fit for the lead in a gothic romance.

That’s when it hit you.

It was all reminiscent of the vampire novel you had been reading lately, all of it playing on the perfect image you envisioned when the heroine found herself seduced by the vampire lord.

Unfortunately, you had no time to turn this realization over in your head, because that’s when the double doors near the fireplace burst open.

In strolled a man, tall, with arms that you knew could hold you tight, dressed in a flowing linen shirt that was open enough to reveal the delicious lines of his muscles. His legs were wrapped in tight black breeches that did not hide their appealing thickness as they carried him to the foot of the bed. He braced himself against the wooden posts, arms spread and letting you take him in. 

“There you are, darling.” The smirk he gave you with those words was absolutely sinful.

Heat prickled across your skin instantly. “Echo,” you breathed his name and instantly had to bite your lip over how shaky it sounded.

Of course it was him. Echo loved playing with you, loved throwing you right into the heart of whatever fantasy he had crafted that night. Leaving you no room to steady yourself before he pounced and had your head spinning for other reasons.

Knowing smirk still lifting his lips, Echo removed his hands from the bedposts, and put them on the bed. Without taking his dark gaze off of yours, he started crawling towards you.

Kriff, the heat between your legs was already aching from the sight of him, and he must have known because now he was practically purring as he hummed.

“Hm, I can hear your heart beating faster.”

Breath catching in your throat, you scooted back until your thinly clothed back hit the opulent headboard. He did not back down, since he knew catching you was all part of the seductive game. When Echo’s eyes finally left yours only to roam over your barely covered chest, the instinct to cover yourself was too great. Embarrassed, you gripped the blanket and started to lift it over your body.

Echo’s purr turned into something harsher. “Don’t you dare.” 

You gasped when he seized the covers and threw them off of you, effortlessly ripping them from your grip in a billowing display.

By the time the duvet landed forgotten on the stone floor he was already on you.

Cool hands gripped your exposed thighs as he settled back on his knees and used said grip to drag you closer to him. Your back slid over the pillows and down the bed, your loose nightshirt being pulled up your body as he moved you just the way he wanted you.

“That’s better,” Echo said as he settled your thighs on either side of his hips. “You know I don’t want you to cover up, mesh’la.” His smile was perhaps a bit softer when he leaned forward, caging you with his arms as he rested them beside your head. “Why do you think I dressed you in nothing but my shirt?” Echo moved his right hand, placing his finger where the lace-up opening of the shirt exposed your skin. “I love the way it hangs off of you, my dear,” the finger trailed upward, towards your throat, “leaving your neck ripe for the taking.”

That’s when he truly pounced. He dived in, fangs flashing, his hand moving to cup the side of your neck holding it in place while he bit down.

You cried out from the barest flash of pain, a moment before the blinding pleasure took over. It burned pleasantly through your body, shivering down it like a hot drink on a cold night. Echo opened his mouth, enough to lap his tongue over the mark he made and moaned at the taste. With another gasp of pleasure, your hand moved to cup the back of his head, fingers digging into his dark hair, a silent plea for him to keep going.

He did not disappoint, you felt the sharp edges of his teeth scrape against your skin again, causing you to roll your hips against his without thinking. Echo moaned again, his tongue licking up something wet on your neck before he bit down again, this time slower and deeper.

Again there was a brief flicker of pain, before it was burned away by that drug-like sensation seeping through your body. It was just like in your book, just as you imagined it, only better because it was your Echo and not some random dracula rip-off with no personality.

Once your lover got his fill he pulled back just a little, hovering over you and making a show of licking his lips with a pleased, satisfied sound.

“Did you like that, cyare?” he leaned in again, this time brushing his nose against your cheek, “Do you like a little pain to mix with the pleasure?”

It was then that you realized you hadn’t said a single word to him since he came striding in like the king of the castle and your voice was still failing you. Unfortunately, when all you did was nod, he once again made a disapproving sound.

“None of that. When that perfect mouth of yours isn’t busy, I want to hear you. Clearly.” He was firm in his words, but his touch was feather light as he brushed his thumb over your lip. “Say it, mesh’la.”

“Yes- yes I liked it,” you managed, voice a little scratchy and low, but clear. “Didn’t know if I would, but I did.”

He hummed in approval before nuzzling your neck, “Good, I’m glad.” That’s when Echo leaned back fully, resting on his knees and becoming the perfect view above you as his smirk returned. “Would you like to keep going?” he asked, eyes half lidded and deep voice low, sensual. His hand reached out to the bedside table, to the various gothic candlesticks atop it, or rather, the taper candles they held. “There’s other things we can try,” his finger hovered dangerously over the flame of a candle, “things that straddle that line between pain and pleasure.” His finger circled the flickering flame in a motion that reminded you of the way he loved to play with your breasts.

Swallowing, you forced your eyes away from the hypnotic display and looked up at him. “What did you have in mind?”

Echo looked a little pleased as he plucked the candle from its holder. Without taking his eyes off of you, he held out his arm, wrist up, and hovered the tilted taper over his exposed skin.

“Have you ever heard of wax play?”

At first, all you did was nod, but remembered his rules quickly. “Yes, a little.”

Just as you answered, the flame had melted enough fresh wax, which came drizzling down in thin droplets onto Echo’s wrist. He didn’t even flinch, just kept his eyes steady on you while you were captivated by the display.

“Would you like me to do this to you?” he said, voice that deep, low pur again. “Want me to cover all that sensitive skin of yours?”

“Yes,” it came out like a whine, which pleased Echo the most.

With the wax now dry, coating his wrist in an artful pattern, he took that hand and gripped the open breast of your shirt. Before you could so much as blink, he tore the blouse open, exposing your chest completely as well as earning a gasp from you.

“There we go,” he said as he ran a finger between your breasts, leaving your skin to shiver and tingle in its wake. Then, he slipped his hand to cup your left breast, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll start simple,” he assured, his voice turning to that comforting timber that hand you melting more than the candle he was holding, “light, barely any pain at all, but tell me if it’s still too much.”

Again, you nodded, “I will.”

“Good girl.”

He watched you carefully as he tilted it, letting the flame wrap wholly around the tip. You licked your lips as you watched the candle melt, waiting for the beads forming to let gravity take them. Then, Echo pitched the taper even further forward, sending them onto the skin just above your breast. 

There was a sting, that brief register of a sensation that had your nerves prickling, but much like the bite, it was quickly soothed by the cooling of the wax, leaving the skin underneath to tingle delightfully. 

You threw your head back, gripping the sheets under you with a slight moan. Echo took that as encouragement and this time he moved his aim lower, so the wax circled your areola.

The stimulation caused your hips to buck, which also shifted your chest enough to bring your nipple right in the path of the still trickling wax. A little shock went through you at that, the overly sensitive skin crying out at the strange feeling. That time you whimpered and Echo, your sweet, attentive Echo, pulled the candle back and leaned down to press his lips around the skin in question.

He was humming praises and assurances as he kissed your breast all over, “You’re doing so well, mesh’la,” “Shh, I’ve got you,” “My good girl, I’m here,” and that only made you whimper again, delighting in the way he soothed you.

With a slight tilt of his head, he was able to look up at you, while still pressing almost lazy kisses on your chest. The hand that had been cupping your breast shifted so he could rub his finger on the very tip of your nipple, which was now encased in dried wax.

“Was that too much?” he asked.

“No,” you whispered and removed one hand from your death grip in the sheets to stroke his hair, “please, keep going.”

His answering smile was approving, “I can’t say no when you ask so sweetly.” 

With a grace you couldn’t quite fathom, Echo leaned back again and this time he moved lower on the bed so your hips and thighs were in better view. 

“Now,” he purred, half lidded eyes catching yours, “you’ve been such a good girl for me tonight, will you do as I tell you?”

Your reply came out as a breath, “Anything.”

Echo pressed the knuckles of his hand to the inside of your leg, starting just above the knee, “I want you to keep your perfect body still this time. Can you do that for me?”

It was a hard promise to make, especially with his hand leaving goosebumps in its wake as it trailed up your inner leg. Despite the fact that it was already hard to keep still, you nodded, “Yes, Echo, I can do that.”

“I hope so, I’d hate to keep your reward from you.”

All you could do to hold your composure was bite your lip and return to holding the sheets like a lifeline.

When his hand reached the top of your thigh, your core ached a little, remembering his skilled touch and desperately wanting to feel it again. Instead, Echo just trailed his knuckles back down your leg, leaving your neglected pussy to clench around nothing.

Then, faster than you expected, he was moving the candle back above you, this time over your inner thigh and sending hot beads of wax dripping. It was all you could do not to throw your head back and cry out in ecstasy. The sensation was more intense this time, the hot droplets rained down on your soft skin and left that biting sting in its wake. It lasted longer too, tingling atop your skin instead of cooling almost instantly.

Echo also kept going, seeming to make a pattern on your thigh, mesmerized by the way some collected on your skin in little pearls and others ran down your body like rain drops. The real torture wasn’t the hot wax, it was keeping your leg from jerking under the tender sensation as he played with you.

You hoped making sounds didn’t count as moving because you couldn’t hold back the desperate whine you let out.

Just as quickly as he brought it on, he pulled the candle back, only to lean down and blow light breaths on the wax still dripping down your leg. The pleasure of hot and cold mingled, leaving you with no choice but to screw your eyes shut as the overstimulation took you.

Echo was reveling in how hard it was for you to control your body while he enjoyed you.

The cold streams of cold air rolled over your skin soothingly, not only to cool the wax into hard pearls, but also to ease away any lingering sting. Just like a moment ago you let out another sound that was almost pitiful, but more of a sigh at the relief he was giving you.

“Did you enjoy that too?” he asked as he moved on from soothing breaths to tender strokes of his fingers.

Again, you did nothing to hide the desperation in your tone. “Yes! Yes, I loved it, Echo…” you trailed off, finally able to open your eyes and look down at him.

He was gazing up at you, always so watchful of your reactions. You saw that look in his eyes as he settled down more securely between your legs. He turned his face back to your inner thigh and brushed his nose against your still tingling skin.

“Hmm, well,” his tongue darted out, tracing the spaces of skin between the hardened beads of wax, “if you enjoy it this much, then I want to drip candle wax all over you.” Then he blew on the wet trail he left behind, “All over your body,” a soft kiss, “your gorgeous,” another nip of those fangs, “perfect body.”

“Echo!” you cried out, fists so tight in the sheets they were starting to hurt, “Please, can i move now? Can I touch you- please?”

He nuzzled the little red spot left in the wake of his bite as he whispered, “You were so good for me, keeping still and letting me work over your body.” He pressed his lips to the spot, a gentle kiss. “And now you’re asking so sweetly. Yes, you can move, I think you’ve earned it.”

Immediately, your hands shoot out to hold onto him, one gripping the back of his shirt, the other tangling in his hair. You also didn’t hold back in lifting your hips either, as well as writhing under his continued nips and kisses.

“In fact,” he went on, moving his lips upward now, “I think you’ve earned that reward I mentioned.” Echo pressed his mouth in the crook where your thigh met your hip, the pinch between his brows showing just how hungry he was for you. A hunger he sated when he finished his journey and buried his face between your legs.

Maker! You were so glad you could move now, because the moment his tongue dove between your folds, your hips bucked and your legs wrapped around him. He licked slowly, humming like a man savoring a treat as he moved up. When he reached your clit he moved the firm tip of his tongue in loving circles around it, earning another desperate noise from you.

Echo slipped his hands under your thighs and pushed upward, hiking them over his broad shoulders. “I want your thighs around me,” he moaned before flatting his tongue and dragging it over your clit, “want you to lock me in while I eat you up,” he sealed his lips around it and suckled, “or maybe I should switch us, have you sit on my face just the way I like-”

Suddenly, the gothic castle around you flickered, like a light bulb about to go out. Echo froze in his ministrations, eyes traveling overhead as a faint, foreign sound started to creep in.

“Kark,” the curse was low, quiet as the sound became clearer, but when his eyes snapped back to you his tone was louder and firm. “Darling, you want to stay here with me, don’t you?”

“I-” you lost your train of thought as the room flickered again and the sound- a beeping, sharpened in pitch.

Wait, where were you?

Your eyes looked around for the beeping that seemed to sound all around you now. As it grew louder, Echo’s touch seemed to fade, despite the fact that he tried to hold you tighter.

When your eyes met his again, he looked like he might have sighed before giving you an understanding smile.

“Next time, cyar’ika.”

And with that, your eyes snapped open in the real, waking world.

You blinked to get your bleary eyes clear, while that karking alarm clock rang incessantly on your bedside table. With a slap, you turned it off, groaning at how stiff your body felt. With a long, tooka-like stretch, you realized you had kicked the covers off in your sleep again, body too hot and sweaty to be comfortable in the night. 

At least there was a good reason for the heat and sweat. You almost shivered at the memory. It was the most intense dream yet, which you hadn’t thought possible, considering all your dreams lately have been more real and vivid than you ever thought possible.

For nearly a week now, certain someones have been a constant, debaucherous theme in your dreams. Lavishing you in lustful attention and unlocking desires you had never known you wanted.

You had no idea what made them start, but you never wanted them to end.

Then that stupid alarm clock had ruined it! Your core ached, wet and sore from neglect and begging for attention just like you begged for Echo. The alarm was set for a reason, you had places to be…but…

More roughly than you meant to, you pulled your bedside drawer open and rummaged for the little silk pouch that hid your favorite toy. If you hurried, you could finish yourself and still have time to get ready for the day. 

Thankfully, that perfect vision of Echo had given you perfect material to think about while you took your pleasure into your own hands.

In an, unfortunately different flat, Echo woke up as well, eyes snapping open with a frustrated sigh.

An alarm clock? The absolute bane of every incubi’s existence? You had never set one before and, if Echo wasn’t still filled by the feel, look, and taste of you, he might have wondered what had you up early today.

Instead, Echo scrubbed his hands over his face with a growl. He had just gotten started, had promised himself he’d make you come on his tongue over and over again before taking your tired and worn body for himself hours later.

At the thought of the lost chance, his stomach made a dissatisfied noise too, causing him to rub it in an attempt to soothe.

Instead of the decadent, full course meal he had planned to get, the sustenance he had gotten from your pleasure in experimenting was a savory snack at best. And as much as he delighted in the way you had enjoyed the exploration of a new kink, Echo had really been looking forward to making a meal out of that fun little roleplay.

“Alright, that’s enough,” he mumbled to himself when his stomach growled again at the disappointed thoughts.

He stretched then, his body uncurling from the stiff posture it always took when he used his abilities over the world of dreams. His claws reached out to rake at air, while his tail untangled itself from the sheets and swiped at nothing in particular.

Well, at least the night hadn’t been a total waste, Echo had loved setting up that little scene for you. 

He hoped he had made the most of it. That he read your fantasy correctly and brought it to life in a way you enjoyed just as much as he did. And he had enjoyed himself. Immensely. You were made for a lavish castle, for a luscious bed, and soft firelight. The way you had looked with that classical shirt draped on your gorgeous body. How excited you got when he played his vampiric role. Or best of all, you so sweetly begging him to show you something new. He loved exploring your desires with you.

Echo’s hips jerked and it was only then that he realized he had absentmindedly wrapped his tail around his hard shaft under the blanket. With a noise from deep in his chest, he gave his cock a firm pump and basked in the wave of pleasure that rippled through his body.

At that, the hunger in his stomach settled just a little. Well, self-pleasure wasn’t a sustainable source of food for his kind…but, with the right material to focus on, it could do in a pinch. 

And you had given him plenty of fantasy fuel to picture while he worked himself into a sweaty climax.

okokok look look look look. i see all the people saying that martyn is the void, or space, or an eclipse, and that's all well and good—have your own headcanons and make your own decisions, we're all here for the epic funny block game story. but you cannot convince me that the man is anything else but the earth.

what is space, as a vibe? openness. airyness. wisdom. the wide, the vast, the empty. the neverending. it is mysterious as it is powerful. it is dramatic in its mere existence. it is full of nothingness and everything at once, it speaks and the world strains to listen but understands none of it at all. there is so much to put in only a few words.

in contrast, earth is obviously more grounded, pun fully intended. the earth laughs in the face of the unknown and relishes in what it has—the earth sticks to its guns and knows what it does and does it well. the earth (and im talking about the earth sans humans, in a more mythological sense) is unchanging in its relentlessness. in comparison to the stars' presence and frequency, the imposing strength and size of the sun, and even the graceful mystery of the moon, the earth shines in how insignificantly significant it is. it is small but it burns, angry, and everything living within it burns, too.

now. martyn in the littlewood, as much as i hate to say it, is not spacey. he is not daft or airheaded, or any other things i would personally associate with space. no, martyn sticks to his people and sticks to them well. he knows what his role in these games is and falls into it when he wants to and fights against it with all of his fury when he doesnt. is it not more earth-like to spit at the feet of those voyeuristic sadists in the sky that cheer for tradition and honour to cop a win you didn't deserve? to scorn those who thought that caging you, you, the earth, that harbours more soul inside of it than anyone could ever have, would turn out right for them? to scoff in the face of mysteries and riddles and convoluted messages?

martyn just feels like the least space/void associated to me. there has never been a player more grounded in reality, and the watcher shenanigans only juxtapose that and highlight it further—he is Just Some Guy, burning bright with passion and soul, being tossed around the cosmic playground and hating every bloody second of it.

Analysis of Pyrefly Forest; Part 2 of Who Listens to Sunny?

Hey all! I've recently become pretty obsessed with focusing in on specific parts of Headspace to figure out what they represent, and as part of that, I really want to go over one of my favorite short and sweet segments of the game, Pyrefly Forest. I want to note that this post will almost read as a follow-up to my first post about Black Space, though I will cover the relevant parts of that analysis here, so don't feel pressured to go back and read that. I should also note that this analysis is going to dive fairly deep into personal interpretation at parts, and you may disagree with some of the conclusions I come to, which is very fair, because honestly, this analysis has me feeling a little delusional at times, but heck, it's all in good fun anyway when it comes to analyzing a game I love! Omori Spoilers Ahead!

Connection to Black Space

The first thing I want to get out of the way before really diving into the actual interpretation of the forest itself is it's connection to Black Space, and specifically the Spider Area. If you haven't read my previous analysis on this topic, the thing that is important to note from it is that the memory that Headspace Basil gets back in this area of Black Space is the memory of Sunny talking to him about his fears in regards to the Lake Incident, in which he almost drowned after a spider landed on his shoulder causing him to fall. Real world dialogue and scenes imply that Sunny didn't talk about these fears with the rest of his friends, as Hero doesn't realize that a spider is the reason that Sunny fell in the first place when the topic comes up, and neither Aubrey or Kel ever acknowledge Sunny's fears with regards to drowning or spiders in the relevant scenes.

Pyrefly Forest is home to one of the very few new picnic conversations that you can access upon completing the Hikikomori route. In it, Kel has Basil try and talk some sense into Hero with regards to Hero's fear of spiders, though it doesn't really work. What is relevant about this picnic conversation, though, is that the dialogue that Basil uses when talking about Hero's fear of spiders here is identical to what he says in the Spider Area (unique parts about Sunny's Lake Incident not withstanding).

In the picnic conversation:

Vs in Black Space:

Summary of Pyrefly Forest

As far as gameplay is concerned, Pyrefly Forest serves as the transitionary segment between the playground hub area of Headspace and the Sweetheart portion of the game. It highlights not just Sunny's own conquered fear of spiders, but Hero's unconquered fear of spiders as well.

Ignoring the side content, the main thing that you are doing here is completing the minecart track so you can ride that through the forest to get to Sweetheart's castle.

Pyrefly Forest's Real World Inspirations

Pyrefly Forest as a whole, as noted by the wiki, appears to be inspired by the day that the group went beetle catching in the photo album. One of the photos added to the album after the completion of the Hikikomori route even references this by copying one of the real photos, replacing the beetle Mari found with a spider. It's also interesting to note that this is the only new photo in the album post-Hikikomori route that is a copy of a photo from the real world album, rather than a completely new and unique image.

I think it is interesting to note that Sunny appears to associate this memory with spiders specifically, rather than beetles. In fact, beetles don't appear at all within Headspace. You can even see in the photo album pictures that where in the real world, the focus was on Mari taking care of a beetle that surprised the group, Headspace puts the focus on Basil taking care of a spider that surprised the group, showing that Sunny may have relied on Basil to help him with his fears, especially when it comes to spiders.

One of the photo album images for this day has Basil noting that Sunny looks "sleepy" in the background of an image of Kel.

I really wish I could see a clearer or more high definition version of this image, but to me, Sunny appears to be holding himself or a tree while staring up at something on another tree. All things considered, Basil may be misinterpreting Sunny being afraid of a spider as him being sleepy. This may have even led to Sunny opening up to Basil about his fear of spiders overall. We know that in the current day, Basil is able to tell that Sunny is scared during the bathroom scene, despite Sunny not really emoting fear when you look into the mirror during that scene.

In addition, both picnics in Pyrefly Forest have tofu as their healing item, which as I've noted before, is a food associated with Basil. Obviously, within Headspace, the food is associated with the Sprout Moles, but I do think that it is interesting that tofu is used for these picnics, rather than in the Sprout Mole village picnic, or even somewhere within Sweetheart's Castle.

The Sidequests of Pyrefly Forest

There are three sidequests that the player has access to within Pyrefly Forest, and I think that all 3 are worth mentioning for different reasons, so I'd like to go through them separately.

Fascinating Literature

This sidequest is initiated by speaking to Demi at a bookshelf in one of the side areas that you need to go to get a rail segment.

This sidequest of the three is the most up-front with it's interpretation. Basil and Sunny had a relationship in which, at the very least, Basil would recommend books for Sunny to read, while Sunny would read them. Demi even has a passing resemblance to Sunny, so I think it is pretty clear that this sidequest is referencing that aspect of Basil and Sunny's relationship.

A Good Listener

Right off the bat, we can tell that this quest is also related to Sunny and Basil, as it's title is directly lifted from how Basil describes Sunny in the photo album. It involves finding Candlie's missing teddy bear and returning it to her. The missing Teddy is found in the Fanmail Graveyard section of Sweetheart's Castle, and is acquired after a fight with it as a Rare Bear enemy.

It is easy to see the teddy bear as representative of Sunny, while Candlie represents Basil in this quest, considering the quest being about the teddy bear being a good listener to Candlie, but I think you could very well make a very different interpretation of this quest with everything else going on in this segment of the game.

The first thing to make note of here is that Sunny is the one associated with owning plushies, not Basil. In Sunny's backyard, in fact, he even owns a teddy bear that has been abandoned to the elements.

Keeping in mind the references to Sunny talking to Basil about his fear of spiders, this side quest could actually be representative of how Sunny would come to view Basil as a confidant as well. This is definitely delving into some deep personal interpretation/headcanony territory, but this could even represent how Sunny would deal with his own worries prior to when he began opening up to Basil, by venting it out to his stuffed animals, but the Lake Incident and the trauma associated with it was too much for that kind of thing to work, leading Sunny to open up about it to Basil. The fact that Teddy attacks you during this sidequest certainly could imply that Sunny doesn't exactly have a positive opinion of it. The fact that Teddy was lost could also reference the fact that Basil is lost within Headspace and you are trying to find him.

On the other hand, we could buy into the more obvious interpretation of Candlie representing Basil and Teddy representing Sunny here. The Teddy attacking you could just represent how Sunny does not have a positive opinion of himself or his actions. The fact that Candlie is a candle is also fairly specific for Pyrefly Forest, as lighting candles is what allows the player to avoid groups of spiders, possibly referencing how Basil would take care of and relocate spiders that Sunny was afraid of.

You also get a little cutscene of Candlie hugging Teddy when you bring him back. This is interesting, because it's one of the few times we actually see a hug represented through the sprites in the overworld (also seen with Omori & Mari, Hero & Mari, and Basil & Sunny), and it's applied to such a small little sidequest.

You also get a rubber duck that doesn't like you as a reward. I'm not sure what that's supposed to represent.

Weeping Willow

So this quest is the one where you have to fill out a jokebook and have Hero tell jokes to the titular Weeping Willow to cheer her up (the jokes are too embarrassing for anyone else to say). When you finally can get her to laugh using the construction joke, she bestows upon you the "LOL Sword", which is a weapon that can be used by Hero and allows him to start the battle happy.

The LOL Sword is a very unique weapon for Hero. All of his other weapons take the form of kitchen tools, while this one is an actual weapon. In addition, the way that this weapon works allows Hero to start the battle Happy, even against enemies that would usually set Hero in a state of fear. This would seem to imply that the way Hero deals with his fear of spiders is distracting himself through humor, though we don't see this in-game when a spider is encountered in the real world.

I think that an interesting idea here is that humor is how Sunny may have dealt with his own fears, prior to the Incident. Obviously, the way his fears manifest in the current day is a bit more extreme than they likely manifested themselves as prior to the Incident, but they still existed following when he almost drowned in the lake pre-canon. In the Lost Library memory for the construction of the treehouse, Sunny appears to make special note of how much time has passed since Mari has climbed down her ladder, perhaps indicating that Sunny is not willing to climb up the ladder himself at this point in time, due to his fear of heights. If you buy into the idea that Sunny opened up about his fears to Basil, I think it could become easy to imagine Basil doing things like telling jokes to Sunny as he climbed the ladder to the treehouse to distract him from his fear of heights, which would have been enough at that point in time, even if it didn't end up being a permanent solution. And if you buy into this interpretation and want to dive into delusion with me even further, the fact that the joke book is too embarrassing for anyone except Hero to read could represent that Sunny was too embarrassed by his fears to open up about them to the others. The fact that it has to be Hero specifically is relevant, as Hero himself doesn't really have any shame in expressing his fear of spiders.

One last thing to mention here is that originally, one of the books that Sunny would own in the Hikikomori route was titled "Weeping Willow", which would have tied back into Basil and Sunny's reading interest, and a weeping willow is a type of tree, which has some pretty specific connotations in OMORI.

Lost Forest

The final thing that I feel is relevant to note about this area is the connection to the Lost Forest. Overall, the Lost Forest portion of the game is more to set the player up for the existence of a Truth that has been forgotten, as it wasn't really mentioned during the previous night in Headspace. Since I'm focusing more on Basil right now, I won't go too in-depth on this very interesting area, but there are some notable things that you can see and find. You are able to find a "Pearl" item on the dock in area 3 of the Lost Forest, which could be seen as representing the gang's hideout, as well as this being the only time Pearls appear in the game outside of Sweetheart's Castle, which is a location that I've noted before as being fairly connected to Sunny and Basil's relationship.

Stranger appears at the beginning of the area, then appears again alongside an apparition of Basil in the fifth area of the Lost Forest before disappearing. There is also a hanging Mari from the Fishbowl Area of Black Space that Appears in the final room as a WTF Event. I find this interesting, as that area of Black Space heavily focuses on Sunny and Basil's relationship. The OST for that area is White Pillars (also the 143rd song on the soundtrack), which has so many different things that it could refer to. One interpretation that I like is that the "White Pillars" that the song refers to are the hanging Maris that appear within that area of Black Space, as well as here. The metaphorical "White Pillars" that has allowed Sunny to force himself to forget and live in delusion all goes back to Basil's lie. Sunny wouldn't be able to live within Headspace and forget his crimes if everyone knew about them. The presence of a hanging Mari from the Fishbowl Area here, of all places, plays into that interpretation, as this is the room where Daddy Longlegs discusses the creation and purpose of Headspace. It makes sense for a reference to that to appear here.

Conclusion

Like I said at the beginning of this post, a lot of my analysis of this area goes back to personal interpretation, and even I can see that there are parts where I'm stretching a bit, but I do think that at the very least, the sidequests and other details of this area allow you to build a solid reading on this portion of the game being about Sunny and Basil's relationship, which will be expanded on right after with Sweetheart's Castle.

The fact that both "Interesting Literature" and "A Good Listener" are both accessed through areas that you only have to go to due to the rails needing repaired could even represent how Headspace itself is breaking down and that to repair it and continue or break the delusion, Sunny has to expose himself to reminders of his relationship with Basil.

Also: something that I didn't mention in my previous post on this topic. While I do believe that Sunny did come to see Basil as someone he could open up to, I don't think that Sunny ever would have told him about his worries with the violin. Basil is the one that had the idea for the violin in the first place, and I don't think Sunny would bring it up to him due to his known drive to avoid disappointing his friends. I think that that actually adds to OMORI's tragedy: the two people that Sunny could open up to about things were the two people that Sunny would see as being most disappointed in him for wanting to quit, eventually leading to the incident.

Pictured: Things going horribly wrong. Right on cue!

So, uh, it sure does sound like King is suggesting they kill The Collector. Especially with how he’s looking at that drawing. And I mean, he IS Eda’s son, and this wouldn’t be the first time she’s killed an enemy. That’s right Eda, I remember what you did, I know what you’re capable off.

But for real, I don’t think King is actually suggesting that. Which begs the question, what is it he’s suggesting? If sealing The Collector away* isn’t permanent enough, then what would be?

(*and if the implication is that King’s Dad had to sacrifice his own life to seal The Collector… well, King’s a baby. There’s a very real chance it’d just not work)

I toyed with a few ideas of how to defeat The Collector in-between season two and three, though I don’t think I ever talked about them. Or maybe I did? Regardless, one idea I had was for King to set up the game of Owl House in such a way that The Collector would lose. And then King would be like ”Ah, sorry buddy, the rules say that if you lose at Owl House you have to leave the planet forever and never come back. Bummer.”

The problem with that is two-fold. For one thing, it’d be a very impermanent solution, because unless The Collector is one of those magical beings that see every verbal agreement as a binding contract that they can never go against, there would be nothing to stop them from just coming back. Or not leaving at all. The other problem is that it would mean The Collector could go on to terrorize some other poor planet.

Another possibility is that King’s plan is to use his close connection to The Collector to… genuinely become his friend. Think about it, The Collector has the power to undo everything and return things to normal. You know, he can fix it all with magic, the sticks, the stones, the tragic. Of course, that’d involve teaching The Collector that people are people too and that you can’t just go turning people into puppets every time they do something you don’t like.

The thought even crossed my mind earlier, that by taking The Collector through a version of Luz’ adventures, maybe he was trying to teach The Collector some lesson on becoming a good person or something.

Basically, King is Steven Universe and The Collector is White Diamond, if White Diamond was also Steven, and Spinel. That probably makes no sense, but I swear, the math checks out in my head.

I mean, c’mon, look at that face! Is that really the face of a space cherub that couldn’t be redeemed through the power of friendship? After all, there is nothing more anime than the power of friendship, and as we’ve already established, The Owl House operates on anime rules. It is literally an isekai. ”The Time I Was Supposed to Go to Summer Camp but Ended up in Another World Where I Learned to be a Witch,” is, I believe, the working title for the upcoming light novel adaptation.

And tonight on”If The Collector has listened for a few seconds longer…” he’d’ve found out what I was (more or less) just saying.

King recognizes that The Collector is just a child, albeit a very powerful one, but that he can be reasoned with.

King says he can relate to The Collector, and yeah, I can see it. Not just because they’re both essentially gods, but, well…

Back in season one, King was still under the impression that he was the King of Demons and he saw others as inferior to himself. He’d try at every opportunity to assert some form of dominance and control people around him. Like the time he tamed Eda in her Owlbeast form to act as his enforcer… so he could rule over the playground and ruin all the other kids’ fun.

However, characterization marches one, and as he started learning more about his past, he realized he was never the King of Demons, he cut it out, and grew as a person. Imagine season one King finding out he’s the last living Titan vs late season two King finding it out. Season one King would take it as confirmation of his divine right to rule, whereas season two King took it more as sign of his role as a protector of the people of the Isles.

And while they’re not entirely the same, King and The Collector do parallel each other in some ways. King used to see himself above others, just like The Collector currently does. So King has to find some way to impart his own character development and growth into the Lord of the Fireflies. While also dealing with Philip, who is possessing Raine. Honestly, that shouldn’t be too hard.

Meanwhile, back on the ground, Kikimora is nettled. Like super nettled. I think the only thing that would make her mood worse was if she got ambushed by some upstart triclops.

You know what’s really impressive? Aside from the enormous energy blast Kiki used to nearly disintegrate Luz & Camila? The fact that Kiki’s able to maneuver the abomatron as well as she is with only a pair of levers to work with. Even the techno trousers had more controls to work with!

Aw shoot…  things are about to get really emotional right about now, aren’t they?

Before that though, I feel the need to acknowledge some of the goofy stuff Camila’s apparently done. Road rage and joining pyramid schemes I can forgive, but scheduling your wisdom teeth surgery the day before you wedding!? You did not!

Happy Holidays @nugatories !!

I hope you enjoy my humble offering of joshneku fighting and flirting for @twewysecretsanta

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43818006

It didn’t occur to Neku back then that Joshua’s maneuvers could be anything but attempts to get under his skin. His incessant teasing, needling, and undermining meant to rile him up. Why? Because he could? Because he’s a prick? Neku didn’t question it; arguably he had bigger things to worry about than why his partner was such a sadist.

Neku made no attempt to downplay the fact he’s not a fan of Joshua’s, but Joshua gave him no reason to be from literally Day One.

But more than all of his little ploys to goad him, what really rubbed Neku the wrong way from the start was how Joshua was always watching him. It felt like, even with his eyes closed, he still saw Joshua.

None of it made sense until Joshua dropped the bomb and revealed the purpose behind the Game – Neku’s purpose.

Neku spent a long time replaying his experience, pouring over three weeks of footage, like he’s rewatching a series with the new perspective of knowing how it ends.

Yes, he concluded, Joshua was flexing his advantage to try to color Neku’s vision of the world, to further isolate him from it and thus push his own agenda, anticipating that Neku would make the same moves as him.

It’s clear then and now that Joshua was also poking and prodding at him for kicks. He mulled over the many different come-ons he batted away as just another way of toying with him. But was there some truth to it? Has Joshua been… flirting with him?

That whole time?

If he weren’t now so close to Joshua three years later, the realization would have infuriated him.

Joshua still teases him, albeit without the flexing. His comments are subtle and could easily be dismissed as playful banter, but there’s an extra layer of physical element that blurs the line between platonic and flirtation. Playground antics Neku had dismissed as simply Joshua – bold, presumptuous, overweening, all qualities any normal being should be ashamed of, but Joshua wore these unsavory traits like he wore Dragon Couture. Flawlessly.

Everything’s starting to add up at an alarming rate. Most important of the revelations is the discovery that Neku’s not all that unattracted to Joshua.

Well, if Joshua wanted to engage in playground antics, Neku would give him playground antics.

And maybe Joshua’s never had a taste of his own medicine. Only way one to test this theory.

The first experiment is a small one. Joshua’s texted a request to meet him at the fabled Phone Booth of Love, and he’s got the perfect opportunity to sneak up on Joshua while his back’s turned. He may be omniscient (so he says), but Neku’s learned that Joshua’s awareness of his surroundings lapses when he’s immersed in his phone. That makes it easy for him to sidle up and blow a puff of air in his ear. Joshua immediately whirls around with an affronted gasp to meet Neku’s twinkling gaze. Finally, a chance to turn the tables -- for him to be smug.

“You’re rusty, Composer.”

“And you’re close enough to steal my breath away.”

Neku figured he’d have some snarky retort, but this one works in his favor. He plants a hand against the glass and leans in, just a little bit but it’s closer than he’s known to get to Joshua’s personal space. To anyone but Neku, Joshua looked unfazed, but that single blink betrays a hint of surprise.

“Do you actually need to breathe?”

Joshua’s eyes sharpen, and his head slowly tilts, sizing him up.

“You know I’m not just going to tell you, but I can show you… if you come closer…”

And just when it looks like Neku’s about to oblige Joshua’s coquettish invitation, he thrusts out a hand to assault Joshua’s flanks, and the other hand braced on the booth springs into action to join in, ruthlessly tickling Joshua’s sides. And Joshua, so thoroughly caught off-guard by the outlandish move, squeals and squirms, trying in vain to push Neku away. His former proxy’s got some hidden strength, however, which he’s using to pin the Composer between his body and the booth. It’s not long until Joshua’s laughter devolves into choking and wheezing, and only then does Neku let up and push back.

“I’d say that’s a resounding yes.”

He’s living for how flustered Joshua looks, all disheveled and pink in the cheeks.

“What?” Feigned innocence. “Was that not what you were suggesting?”

Before Joshua could respond any which way, Neku’s backed up out of his reach, and although Joshua did not retaliate, his set jaw and level stare told Neku, without words: challenge accepted.

From then on, the boundaries between fighting and flirting begin to blur. It’s all-out war. Joshua’s doubled down on his vamping, with his bedroom eyes (which almost cave Neku, to be fair), open buttons and lingering touches. But it’s Neku who’s teasing him, letting their mutual attraction bring them within inches of kissing before playfully bullying him, sometimes literally wrestling him into submission. Tension’s been a natural part of their dynamic, but now it’s straining from something much different. The unrelenting physical contact is no help whatsoever, even though they’re both thoroughly reveling in it. Somewhere along the way Neku’s experiment’s morphed into a game; it’s now a battle of wills.

The holiday season rolled in, and inevitably they find themselves together at a homey Christmas party among their friends. Alcohol’s pouring, but Neku’s abstaining. He needs to be alert in case his favorite rival decides to pull a fast one on him. If he’s honest with himself, he hopes he will.

Joshua lies in wait until everyone’s split off, as tends to be the natural progression of soirees. Joshua suspected Neku would remain solo, and just his luck, once groups begin to form, their eyes lock across the room. He takes a few steps back to stand just shy of being completely obscured by the tree, and crooks a finger in beckoning. Neku meanders over, glancing about to make sure no one’s paying attention, before circling around the tree.

Neku can’t help but take a moment to appreciate how the multicolored lighting brings glitter to Joshua’s eyes, and tints his skin with a warm glow. But it’s that brief moment of weakness that leaves him open to attack.

“What’s up, Josh–”

He never finishes the question, for he’s been interrupted by a mistletoe to the face and his mouth claimed by Joshua’s. A rush of endorphins storms his brain, and just like that, his defenses collapse. But if he’s to lose, he’ll go down fighting; unsurprisingly, their kiss is as violently passionate as the buildup. Neku, wresting the upper hand, slams him against the nearest wall (like he wanted to that day at the booth), which just so happens to be within close proximity of the tree. Joshua’s flailing sends it toppling over magnificently, to the tune of uproarious applause and whoops and hollers of finally.

"I echo their sentiments," Joshua all but purrs. "What took you so long?" And Neku contends with his sass by putting him in a very festive kimura submission hold and nibbles Joshua's arm while he screeches hilariously.

hey y'all! it's me! han, again! with my second character, ava! please feel free to read more about her under the cut! looking for childhood friends, hiking buddies, perhaps an old flame or two, or any and all connections you'd like to bring my way for her. my discord is w8t for it#3858

FULL NAME: ava mae jameson

FACECLAIM: tessa thompson

GENDER: cisfemale

PRONOUNS: she/her

AGE + BIRTHDAY: 34, january 23rd, 1990

LENGTH OF TIME IN FAIRFORD:

HOUSING: subarbs with maya fan

OCCUPATION: kindergarten teacher at fairford elementary, part time nature camp counselor to make ends meet during the summer months

PERSONALITY: resourceful, warm, empathetic, stubborn, overprotective, disorganized

CONNECTIONS: maya fan’s fiancé

Ava Jameson, a fiercely independent spirit with a deep love for nature, has woven her life's journey amidst the breathtaking landscapes of Fairford. Since the tender age of five, she has resided in this quaint town, her existence etched with the hues of resilience and untamed passion. Life dealt her an early blow when her mother passed away suddenly, leaving her and her father to navigate the world as a tightly knit duo.

From an early age, Ava found solace in the embrace of nature. The towering trees whispered secrets only she could decipher, and the murmuring streams held her sorrows as they trickled through her fingers. Fairford, with its sprawling meadows and winding trails, became her playground and sanctuary. It was within these natural wonders that she felt most alive, a spirited soul deeply connected to the earth's rhythms.

As the years unfolded, Ava's indomitable spirit propelled her forward, shaping her into the headstrong and determined woman she is today. Kindness flows through her veins, woven into every interaction she has with her loved ones and the little souls she nurtures as a dedicated kindergarten teacher. With unwavering dedication, she creates a safe and inclusive space where children flourish, their imaginations nurtured under her watchful gaze.

The strength of her character extends beyond the walls of the classroom, manifesting in her enduring relationship with her fiancée, Maya. After a dorky high schooler oodled over her picking up his sibling from meeting Ava's class, Maya and Ava struck up a conversation that lasted for hours. The rest they say, is history. Discussions turned to coffee, which turned to texts, late-night phone calls and eventually professed feelings over a glass of wine. They have embarked on a journey of love, support, and shared passions for four and a half years. Maya is the heartbeat that resonates with Ava, a steadfast partner who understands her need for the great outdoors, embraces her headstrong and stubborn nature and loves her sincerely for her kindness and a true sense of self. Ava couldn't be happier to be beginning her next chapter.

Ava's athletic prowess shines through as she navigates the trails of Fairford, her agile footsteps leaving imprints on the very ground she traverses. With each stride, she feels a sense of freedom and liberation, the wind whispering secrets in her ear and the sun kissing her skin. It is in these moments, amidst nature's splendor, that she feels most aligned with her true self.

As Ava continues to dance through life, her spirit anchored in love, resilience, and an unyielding connection to the natural world, she leaves an indelible mark on those fortunate enough to cross her path. Her determination to carve her own path, coupled with her compassionate nature, paves the way for a life filled with purpose, warmth, and the vibrant beauty of the great outdoors.

As I sit down again, my digital canvas beckoning me with its endless possibilities, I feel a surge of excitement coursing through me. This month is special; it's Autism Acceptance Month. As someone on the spectrum myself, I wanted to create something that resonates with the theme of acceptance and understanding. And what better way to do that than through my beloved original characters? I want to use my art to showcase the beauty and uniqueness of neurodiversity, spreading a message of acceptance and inclusion. Through my creations, I aim to inspire others to embrace differences and celebrate the spectrum of human experiences.

In this new artwork, I decided to feature Arlon, an original character close to my heart, enjoying a carefree moment with his two friends, Liliana and Penny, in a vibrant playground scene. The image captures them in motion, running with pure joy radiating from their faces. Arlon, sporting his usual attire of a simple white shirt and khaki shorts paired with comfy grey slippers, embodies the innocence and enthusiasm of childlikeness. As they play together, their unique personalities are highlighted, showcasing the beauty of friendship without boundaries. The colourful background of the playground symbolises the endless possibilities that exist when we come together with open hearts and minds.

Liliana, Arlon's dear friend, exudes elegance even in her playful white romper, her white slippers mirroring the purity of her soul. And then there's Penny, the spirited companion clutching a volleyball, her pink ensemble reflecting her vibrant personality. Together, they form a bond with Evelyn, Sandra, and Ella (unseen in the artwork) not just by friendship but by an unspoken understanding that transcends the barriers of neurodiversity. Their bond is a testament to the power of acceptance and inclusion, creating a safe space where differences are celebrated and embraced. The playground serves as a canvas for their unique connection, where laughter and joy know no limits.

As I meticulously bring each detail to life on my digital canvas, I can't help but reflect on the deeper meaning behind this artwork. Beyond the surface level of childlike fun and camaraderie, there lies a profound message of acceptance. Arlon, with his unique quirks and challenges, represents the countless individuals on the autism spectrum who often struggle to find acceptance in a world that thrives on conformity. Through this artwork, I hope to inspire others to embrace diversity and foster a more inclusive society where everyone feels valued and accepted. The vibrant colours and playful imagery symbolise the beauty that comes from embracing our differences and coming together in unity.

Yet, amidst the laughter and playful banter, there's an undeniable sense of inclusivity. Liliana and Penny, with their genuine smiles and outstretched hands, symbolise the beauty of empathy and understanding. They embrace Arlon for who he is, celebrating his differences rather than shunning them. In their eyes, he's not defined by his autism but by the warmth of his heart and the depth of his spirit. This heartwarming scene serves as a powerful reminder of the transformative power of acceptance and compassion in creating a truly inclusive community. It highlights the importance of seeing beyond labels and stereotypes to truly connect on a human level.

As I continue to add intricate details to the scene, my mind drifts to a familiar tune that resonates with the essence of friendship and camaraderie. It's "Count on Me" by Bruno Mars, a song that speaks volumes about the unconditional support and loyalty that true friends offer each other for that's what friends are supposed to do. Ironically, it also serves as the theme song for the latest Tom and Jerry movie, a testament to the universality of its message. It reminds us that friendship transcends language and cultural barriers. It is a reminder that the bond between friends is universal and timeless, just like the classic cartoon characters Tom and Jerry.

In the lyrics of the song, there's a simple yet profound truth – that in times of need, we can always count on our friends to be there for us, just as we would be for them. It's a sentiment that rings especially true for Arlon, Liliana, and their friends as they navigate the complexities of friendship in a world that often misunderstands them. As they face challenges and obstacles, their friendship remains unwavering, proving that true friends will always stand by each other no matter what. The song serves as a beautiful tribute to the power of friendship and the importance of having a support system in our lives.

As I add the finishing touches to the artwork, a sense of satisfaction washes over me. It's more than just another digital creation; it's a tribute to the power of friendship, acceptance, and love. As I share it with the world during Autism Acceptance Month, I hope it serves as a gentle reminder that true beauty lies in embracing our differences and celebrating the unique gifts that each individual brings to the tapestry of life. Let us continue to spread awareness and acceptance, creating a more inclusive and compassionate world for all. Together, we can make a difference by embracing diversity and supporting one another on this journey called life. Let us strive to create a world where everyone feels valued and accepted, regardless of their differences.

Beyond Boundaries: R.K. Sharma's Journey into the Abstract Realm of Art

Introduction:

In the ever-evolving landscape of art, R.K. Sharma emerges as a trailblazer, transcending traditional boundaries and delving into the abstract realm. His artistic journey is a testament to the boundless possibilities that unfold when an artist fearlessly explores the uncharted territories of abstraction. Join us as we embark on a captivating exploration of R.K. Sharma's odyssey, navigating beyond boundaries into the enigmatic world of abstract art.

A Departure from the Concrete:

R.K. Sharma's foray into abstract art marks a departure from the concrete and a venture into the ineffable. In this abstract realm, forms lose their strict definitions, and colors and shapes take on a life of their own. It's a journey beyond the confines of representation, where the artist invites viewers to transcend the familiar and embrace the ambiguity that abstract art offers.

The Canvas as a Playground:

Sharma's abstract canvases become a playground where spontaneity and intuition dance together. Liberated from the constraints of realistic depiction, the artist explores the potential of the canvas as a space for unbridled expression. Each stroke is an invitation to engage with the subconscious, as the boundaries between artist and canvas blur, giving rise to a symbiotic relationship between creator and creation.

Color as Language:

In the abstract realm, color becomes a language, and Sharma wields it with mastery. The artist's palette is a symphony of hues that communicate emotions, energies, and unspoken narratives. Vibrant bursts of color coalesce and collide, creating a visual language that transcends the need for explicit representation. The abstract canvas becomes a conversation, and the viewer is invited to interpret the dialogue of colors.

Embracing Ambiguity:

Abstract art thrives on ambiguity, and Sharma's work embraces it with open arms. The deliberate ambiguity in his compositions invites viewers to bring their own interpretations, fostering a dynamic interaction between the artwork and its audience. Each swirl, drip, or geometric form becomes a doorway to personal introspection, allowing for a multitude of perspectives to coexist within the same canvas.

Shapes and Forms in Flux:

In the abstract world curated by R.K. Sharma, shapes and forms are in a constant state of flux. Geometric precision intertwines with organic spontaneity, creating a visual dynamic that challenges preconceived notions of structure. The artist's manipulation of shapes becomes a dance, an exploration of the tension between order and chaos, offering viewers a glimpse into the ever-shifting nature of existence.

Ephemeral Impressions:

Abstract art often captures ephemeral impressions, fleeting moments frozen in time. Sharma's brush becomes a recorder of the transient, capturing the energy and emotion of a particular moment. The artist's ability to distill the essence of an experience onto the canvas allows viewers to connect with the intangible, evoking a shared sense of the fleeting beauty that permeates our lives.

The Unseen Landscape:

Within the abstract realm, R.K. Sharma unveils an unseen landscape – a dreamscape of emotions, energies, and untold stories. Each composition becomes a portal, inviting viewers to traverse an internal terrain where the boundaries between reality and imagination blur. The unseen becomes palpable, and the abstract canvas becomes a mirror reflecting the infinite landscapes within the human psyche.

Rhythm and Harmony:

Abstract art, at its core, is a composition of rhythm and harmony. Sharma orchestrates these elements on his canvas, creating visual melodies that resonate with the viewer's inner sense of aesthetics. The ebb and flow of lines, the interplay of colors, and the balance of negative space become notes in a symphony that speaks to the universal language of emotion.

The Artist's Dialogue with the Canvas:

In R.K. Sharma's abstract journey, the canvas becomes a silent companion engaged in a profound dialogue with the artist. Each mark, stroke, and layer contributes to an ongoing conversation that evolves organically. The canvas, once a blank space, transforms into a narrative of exploration, discovery, and expression, capturing the artist's evolving relationship with the abstract.

Conclusion:

R.K. Sharma's journey beyond boundaries into the abstract realm is a testament to the limitless possibilities that unfold when an artist fearlessly explores the uncharted territories of creativity. In his abstract odyssey, the canvas transforms into a playground of color, shape, and emotion, inviting viewers to join the dance of ambiguity and interpretation. Beyond boundaries, Sharma's abstract art becomes a timeless dialogue between the seen and the unseen, a journey where the artist and the audience traverse the boundless landscapes of imagination and emotion.

Hear the heavenly and ethereal music of Laura Misch

Laura Misch’s music is profound and astounding. This is the music you want to hear when you’re surrounding by nature or even in a bustling city (which will calm you down right away). This is the music that will lead you to a peaceful and serene space in your mind. We are enamored by the music we’ve heard. Listen below and let us know your thoughts. SOUNDS: like you’re listening to a concert in heaven FEELS: heavenly, floating on clouds SEE: “Portals” below: Read More: Following her signing to One Little Independent Records, London-based multidisciplinary artist and producer Laura Misch has announced the release of her long-awaited debut album ‘Sample The Sky’, out on October 13th. An enchanting journey through London’s wild edgelands, the LP is an ode care, connection and listening to the natural world. ‘Sample The Sky’ responds to nature's patterns through organic electronic productions, embodied lyrics, wind inspired saxophone, singing and synthesis all woven into intricately crafted left-field pop songs. “Sample the Sky is an album that can be distilled as the feeling you have when you see the sky and you are in such awe that you feel compelled to photograph it and send it to someone - the moments that feel so intimate and personal yet universal, un-ownable and ephemeral.” Laura Misch carefully crafts intricate, layered arrangements while also conveying warmth and intimacy, such as on the new single & video for "Portals" out now. "Portals" communicates a particularly profound moment in Laura’s life. “During lockdown I was living with my family and grandparents. My granddad, who was 94, got really ill and passed away at home in his bed, surrounded by my mum, gran and me. We were all looking after him, and it was a period of time where the world was in chaos and the care felt intensified, but also it was a real honor to be able to be there and give that much attention to this process. It was a very organic death. The moment he left his body it was like he went from being there to being everywhere. That’s what this song is about, on some level it’s about a portal into the unknown. He was such a green-fingered person and believed so much in returning to the earth, and the interconnectedness of everything, and that we're made up of elements that will one day become everything else.” She says that the accompanying video “is about sensing the natural world, feeling connected to the elements from the sky to the snails, and dancing with it, knowing that I’ll eventually return to the earth. It was made with care and woven together by many friends’ creations, from Tobby Wu’s five-meter floral hair braid to Chantel Foo’s insect inspired dance choreo”. A departure from her previous, more isolated bedroom-produced work (critically acclaimed EPs ‘Playground’ and ‘Lonely City’ released in 2017 and 2019 respectively), Laura opened up every aspect of the process to her South London creative community. This ranges from guest musicians and field recordists to painters, florists, dancers and tapestry makers. Though some songs had been years in the making, the catalyst for the record's crystallisation was a year-long collaboration with composer and producer William Arcane, whose “synth wizardry” caught Laura’s ears. Every sound on the record has been played, synthesised or recorded from scratch, shaping it into its near final form before weaving in performances from Laura’s recently formed live band; Marysia Osu on harp and Tomáš Kašpar on guitar. The album’s title and meaning stems partly from Laura’s journey from studying biomedical sciences at university to becoming an electronic music producer, she says; “I’ve always found parallels between biomed and music, a microphone is a microscope of sound, and a studio is laboratory of distillation, producing feels like you’re discovering, it feels akin to uncovering in science, ‘Sample The Sky’ felt like a meeting between these two worlds, to study a ‘sample’ is to gather and look deeply, whilst the ‘sky' symbolises our interconnectedness to nature”. ‘Sample The Sky’ is also a reference to sampling culture in music, and Laura’s musical influences spanning from early experimental electronic music pioneers to 90’s pop and R&B. She continues; “My saxophone teacher was in the Kick Horns, a horn section that arranged and played horns on songs like Green Light by Beyonce, obviously as an 11 year old that was the coolest thing ever, so as I was discovering music, I was always listening out for the horn sections. That’s how I got hooked on the saxophone”. As a self-taught electronic producer, it wasn’t until much later that she discovered the genesis of electronic music and became interested in the tape works of Daphne Oram, the wild synthesis of Suzanne Ciani and the environmentally aware sonic meditations of Pauline Oliveros. “There was so much experimentation and boundary pushing in each of their practices and that moved me in the same way a lot of 90s sample-based production did, it felt so magical and radical to me. I wanted to make a record that is a constellation of these influences.” Over the last few years, Laura’s music practice has developed alongside her growing curiosity to reconnect with her surroundings outside, discover with new collaborators, as well as leave the confines of self-recording. In 2021, Laura began outdoor composing experiments including working with engineer Andrea Adriano to build a wearable rig, with a preamp, looper, and modular FX, into a belt. “I primarily have a loop-based saxophone practice. I like to play licks, with harmonies gradually building whilst I'm walking.” She composed an immersive outdoor installation in collaboration with the artist Matthew Rosier and NYX, a collective of female, trans and non-binary singers who manipulate their voices through electronics. Together, they recorded improvised saxophone and voice in Epping Forest, eventually soundtracking large-scale tree projections, mapped onto city buildings in central London. Following the project she joined NYX, “being part of this choir gave me permission to push boundaries in my own work, I’ve never felt so deeply part of a musical community before and that has been simultaneously supportive and freeing.” These explorations and new connections led her to embrace sound outside of music: ASMR, sensory, textural sound and everyday sound. These textures are layered across ‘Sample The Sky’ with warmth, enveloping themselves around the listener as they grow, shift and intertwine. Read the full article

Hear the heavenly and ethereal music of Laura Misch

Laura Misch’s music is profound and astounding. This is the music you want to hear when you’re surrounding by nature or even in a bustling city (which will calm you down right away). This is the music that will lead you to a peaceful and serene space in your mind. We are enamored by the music we’ve heard. Listen below and let us know your thoughts. SOUNDS: like you’re listening to a concert in heaven FEELS: heavenly, floating on clouds SEE: “Portals” below: Read More: Following her signing to One Little Independent Records, London-based multidisciplinary artist and producer Laura Misch has announced the release of her long-awaited debut album ‘Sample The Sky’, out on October 13th. An enchanting journey through London’s wild edgelands, the LP is an ode care, connection and listening to the natural world. ‘Sample The Sky’ responds to nature's patterns through organic electronic productions, embodied lyrics, wind inspired saxophone, singing and synthesis all woven into intricately crafted left-field pop songs. “Sample the Sky is an album that can be distilled as the feeling you have when you see the sky and you are in such awe that you feel compelled to photograph it and send it to someone - the moments that feel so intimate and personal yet universal, un-ownable and ephemeral.” Laura Misch carefully crafts intricate, layered arrangements while also conveying warmth and intimacy, such as on the new single & video for "Portals" out now. "Portals" communicates a particularly profound moment in Laura’s life. “During lockdown I was living with my family and grandparents. My granddad, who was 94, got really ill and passed away at home in his bed, surrounded by my mum, gran and me. We were all looking after him, and it was a period of time where the world was in chaos and the care felt intensified, but also it was a real honor to be able to be there and give that much attention to this process. It was a very organic death. The moment he left his body it was like he went from being there to being everywhere. That’s what this song is about, on some level it’s about a portal into the unknown. He was such a green-fingered person and believed so much in returning to the earth, and the interconnectedness of everything, and that we're made up of elements that will one day become everything else.” She says that the accompanying video “is about sensing the natural world, feeling connected to the elements from the sky to the snails, and dancing with it, knowing that I’ll eventually return to the earth. It was made with care and woven together by many friends’ creations, from Tobby Wu’s five-meter floral hair braid to Chantel Foo’s insect inspired dance choreo”. A departure from her previous, more isolated bedroom-produced work (critically acclaimed EPs ‘Playground’ and ‘Lonely City’ released in 2017 and 2019 respectively), Laura opened up every aspect of the process to her South London creative community. This ranges from guest musicians and field recordists to painters, florists, dancers and tapestry makers. Though some songs had been years in the making, the catalyst for the record's crystallisation was a year-long collaboration with composer and producer William Arcane, whose “synth wizardry” caught Laura’s ears. Every sound on the record has been played, synthesised or recorded from scratch, shaping it into its near final form before weaving in performances from Laura’s recently formed live band; Marysia Osu on harp and Tomáš Kašpar on guitar. The album’s title and meaning stems partly from Laura’s journey from studying biomedical sciences at university to becoming an electronic music producer, she says; “I’ve always found parallels between biomed and music, a microphone is a microscope of sound, and a studio is laboratory of distillation, producing feels like you’re discovering, it feels akin to uncovering in science, ‘Sample The Sky’ felt like a meeting between these two worlds, to study a ‘sample’ is to gather and look deeply, whilst the ‘sky' symbolises our interconnectedness to nature”. ‘Sample The Sky’ is also a reference to sampling culture in music, and Laura’s musical influences spanning from early experimental electronic music pioneers to 90’s pop and R&B. She continues; “My saxophone teacher was in the Kick Horns, a horn section that arranged and played horns on songs like Green Light by Beyonce, obviously as an 11 year old that was the coolest thing ever, so as I was discovering music, I was always listening out for the horn sections. That’s how I got hooked on the saxophone”. As a self-taught electronic producer, it wasn’t until much later that she discovered the genesis of electronic music and became interested in the tape works of Daphne Oram, the wild synthesis of Suzanne Ciani and the environmentally aware sonic meditations of Pauline Oliveros. “There was so much experimentation and boundary pushing in each of their practices and that moved me in the same way a lot of 90s sample-based production did, it felt so magical and radical to me. I wanted to make a record that is a constellation of these influences.” Over the last few years, Laura’s music practice has developed alongside her growing curiosity to reconnect with her surroundings outside, discover with new collaborators, as well as leave the confines of self-recording. In 2021, Laura began outdoor composing experiments including working with engineer Andrea Adriano to build a wearable rig, with a preamp, looper, and modular FX, into a belt. “I primarily have a loop-based saxophone practice. I like to play licks, with harmonies gradually building whilst I'm walking.” She composed an immersive outdoor installation in collaboration with the artist Matthew Rosier and NYX, a collective of female, trans and non-binary singers who manipulate their voices through electronics. Together, they recorded improvised saxophone and voice in Epping Forest, eventually soundtracking large-scale tree projections, mapped onto city buildings in central London. Following the project she joined NYX, “being part of this choir gave me permission to push boundaries in my own work, I’ve never felt so deeply part of a musical community before and that has been simultaneously supportive and freeing.” These explorations and new connections led her to embrace sound outside of music: ASMR, sensory, textural sound and everyday sound. These textures are layered across ‘Sample The Sky’ with warmth, enveloping themselves around the listener as they grow, shift and intertwine. Read the full article

Under swaying pine boughs and misty stars, I came out as bisexual to my husband in a hot tub at thirty-four years old.  It was early 2021, about a year into the pandemic. I chose the moment for its privacy, knowing I wouldn’t have to see his face in the dark, fearing my words might form a hairline crack in the sturdy foundation of our marriage. --- Related Stories This out bisexual singer reigned as Empress of the Blues in the 1920’s She sold more than 2 million records in the first ten months after she was signed by Columbia Records and performed on Broadway – and then the Great Depression hit. --- My delivery lacked eloquence but delivered these main points: I love you, what I’m about to say doesn’t change how I feel about you, and I’ve always been attracted to women as well as men. I knew I was queer as long as I can remember. Jasmine was just as cute as Aladdin, my buxom art teacher allured as infuriatingly as the bearded substitute. I lusted after both softball and baseball captains. But coming of age within a religious family and uptight New England community, I learned quickly to conceal this side of myself.  My parents weren’t overt in their homophobia, but it was subtly implied in how they discussed their rare LGBTQ+ encounters: “The lesbian neighbors have company again,” or “Can you believe so-and-so is gay? Not that I have a problem with that…” After a confidential and troubled queer relationship in college, I joyfully married a man and assumed the woman-loving part of my life was over. For a long time, it was. My husband and I had a baby, bought a house, and settled down. When Covid shut down the world, like everyone else, I had a lot of self-reflection time. I started to realize the part of myself I’d buried was still in there, shuffling about in neglect, and that by hiding it from my daughter in particular, I was being inauthentic.  How could I expect her to embrace her true self if I wasn’t doing the same? When I came out to my husband, hiding in the hot tub, he was tender, supportive, and unsurprised. He said he loved all of me, and that I should let others do the same. After this heartfelt conversation, I timidly chose the path of least resistance and declared myself bisexual in one fell swoop via an Instagram post. My friends were exuberantly approving, my religious family’s reactions were predictably mixed, but after a week, the hoopla settled. I wondered what I’d been so worried about; it was over. The other day, I received a text from a good friend: “Wait you’re bi? When did that happen?” Now that we’re on the “other side” of the pandemic, I’ve had to come out repeatedly. In queer spaces, I’m assumed straight because I’m partnered with a man. On the playground while picking up my daughter, most parents I meet revert to ‘husband’ without inquiring, even after I use the neutral term ‘partner.’ These instances make me feel small and silly, like my sexuality is a trivial preference akin to sports fandom, like I’m an annoyance every time I make a correction. Monosexism exists in both straight and queer spaces, assuming singularity in sexual preference without leaving room for those whose preferences are expansive. I’ve learned that as a bisexual person in a straight-presenting relationship, coming out isn’t a one-time deal. I have to proclaim my identity again and again. In fact, I expect I’ll have to do it forever. There’s privilege that comes with being able to hide my queerness, in my ability to tuck it up neatly as I stand next to my husband, but there’s a cost in having to assert myself over and over, too. Being closeted for over thirty years is sad, desolate, yet deceptively normal until you catch a glimpse of someone else standing in a shaft of light while you cower in the shadows.  What happens when you stay in the darkness that long is an unfulfilled sense of self and a cavernous pit of loneliness. I won’t go back.  This is why I choose to assert myself, over and over.  This is why I’ll keep coming out forever. http://dlvr.it/Sld1Bf

"As a child in his own bliss of innocence and ignorant of the ways of the society, I enjoyed basking in the glorious orbs of my ma's jewellery and sarees. Unlike boys of my age, speeding and force were never my gaming zones. The tenderness and beauty of dolls often lured me into playing with them; dressing them up as gorgeously as Nani would find me with those heavy, dark locks and big, round eyes of mine that shimmered in the attire of a bride. Dressing up as the dulhan in the 'dulha-dulhan' game, wearing masi's dupatta as a hairpiece and dancing wholeheartedly on Madhuri Dixit's Bollywood numbers without caring about the world opened the non-negotiable realm of the society for me; an arena I would bargain for by giving up all I had if only I knew what lied ahead. While growing up, I did not share a friendly relationship with my father. Like most dad-son bonds, ours was also garbed by the shades of masculinity where the proclamation of love and expression of feelings lied suppressed somewhere. Being born in a middle-class Rajput family was not a choice I made. To make a man out of his effeminate son (whose walk and words resonated with feminine tenderness rather than manly toughness), papa resided into relentlessly beating me even at the slightest of my mistakes. He detested my speaking of Bhojpuri, our mother tongue, as he felt that it made me sound like a 'mauga' (a Bhojpuri word for effeminacy). I was unknown to the amiable side of parenting for the most part of my childhood; it resurfaced only in certain instances when ma was around. Her working in a different district often stole this bliss away. While on one side home had this to offer, my school only worsened my mental peace and added to my trauma of ‘being different’.

Typically known as a space to form one's identity and shaping up his/her personality, my school rather contributed in making me known as 'a chakka, a hijra'. Those were the daggers thrown at me by my schoolmates in the utmost derogatory sense. The notion of your name reflecting your identity became a blurred idea for me. There were only a very few days of my school life in which I was not bullied or humiliated, and hence, it is hard to forget the rest which had become 'my normal' for not being normal. An incident on one such day is etched clearly in my memory. A classmate sitting behind me had tainted my shirt with the alphabets - ’S I X E R'. The courage and strength that I had been mustering all this while, which had been secretly pushing me to move ahead each day, had now shattered into many tiny fragments, and I felt like it would take an eternity to put them back together. I tried every possible way that could stop me from going to school ever again; even if it involved intentionally hurting my own leg, but alas, to no avail. For once, after years, I had led down my shield of masculinity and had cried in the warm and secure arms of ma, cursing my birth and my own existence. The torment of years could not be calmed with her wise words. So taking the onus on her to set it all right, she spoke to my class teacher about all that had been going on. This only worsened things. Everyone at school stopped talking to me, and my existence had now disappeared.

After matriculation, I took admission in humanities in a different school. My idiotic heart that clings to every false hope led me into believing that this change of place would mark a new beginning of acceptance, kindness and warmth. Little did I know that humanities can only acquaint someone with such ideas but cannot force him/her into practising them. All my aspirations to be known as ‘Aditya' in this new setting, among new people, got burnt in the playground beneath the ravishing heat of the sun when a boy from my previous school called aloud to me "chakka, tu yahan!”. I had decided not to succumb this time, and hence the 'new me' did not let them humiliate me on my face. But I couldn’t of course stop it from happening behind my back. They would anonymously refer to me with the same slangs from my previous school. I could sometimes comprehend their teenage slurs from a distance. To exist equally was now forgotten. The exuberance and flamboyancy about my personality had now been boxed forever. I had started to feel suffocated in my own body. Choking halfway while trying to swallow a piece of Mortein made me loathe myself for not having the courage to free my own spirit. I started keeping to myself. I had become an introvert who only found the resolute to breathe in the reality of his own identity either through comic books, TV series or movies. At times, I danced in front of the mirror, in my dad's dhoti wrapped around as a gaghra to live my veracity. But it never felt liberating, for the doors were always locked and loneliness was my only audience.

The process of change is sometimes not easily noticeable. The human brain intelligent enough to register it until this change is visible from the outside. Standing on the stage in a yellow coloured long skirt, resonating my faith in blurred gender roles and belief in masculinity beyond the idea of clothing, in an auditorium stuffed with people, I was not only accepting the award for topping the second year of college but also sinking in the realisation of how past three years in Ramjas has empowered me to accept myself the way I am, to love myself beyond the horizon and to believe that the sky can be your only limit. This realisation and acceptance did not enter my system overnight but was a process of constantly unlearning what the society had fed into me since birth and learning to put my individuality beyond the flawed spectrum of prejudices and stereotypes. To say that it was a cakewalk would be a lie!

For these three years of my graduation, I resided in Ramjas Boys Hostel. Initially, it was tough to be surrounded by men who would question your manhood and masculinity in your every action. It made me feel vulnerable beyond my threshold. But the beautiful course I was enrolled in, helped me understand how fragile the word 'masculinity' is; the constant pressure it puts on the males of our society to become a “man", to condition themselves as insensitive creatures and to avoid discussions about this normalised oppression as it would manifest their unseen, unknown side of femininity. Understanding this helped me soothe my anger towards my father. It helped me see his unfortified concerns for his son. Being the product of his times, he gave in to the archaic methods of upbringing. Of late, I have been vocal about my feelings, and this has mended our bond. Delhi, in all its colours, brought with it some angels in form of the most understanding humans in my life. Without their support and irrevocable faith in me, I would have never dared to take such a big leap from the side of constant insecurity and loathing to undeterrable belief in myself to become whoever I wanted to be. With time, I have gained maturity. I can now comprehend the strength and beauty of my sexual orientation. This tantalising fragrance of love with same-sex has ephemerality and strength of Petrichor - intense but short. It's a different experience every time when I fall in love, but one thing that has been common is to see how easily a man can accept his vulnerability behind locked doors but won’t dare to do so in the outer world. Everyone is a little gay or has a 'gayish' side to them that can't be hidden well behind a facade but to have portrayed it out boldly is to bathe in the unpretentious mirth of a unicorn ride over the slide of a rainbow."