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enderwoah · 2 days
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canon 👍
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enderwoah · 2 days
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My Roman Empire is how the life series writes itself. Here are some coincidences that I think about frequently:
1. Every person who has ever won a life series (Real Life included) was paired with another winner in Double Life (Grian & Scar, Scott & Pearl, Martyn & Cleo)
2. Several members had patterns in their deaths in Secret Life (All of Grian’s deaths happened while a large portion of the remaining server members were present, all of Scott’s deaths were arranged & he let whoever killed him kill him, all of Etho’s deaths were from Scar killing him, all of Jimmy’s deaths were from mobs of increasing strength (drowned, dragon & warden), all of Mumbo’s deaths were because of poor walking (walked off a ledge, walked into lava, walked into his own fence posts) & all of Martyn’s deaths happened in different dimensions)
3. Jimmy being out first 4 times in a row
4. Grian winning 3rd Life & then being dead last in the VR recreation of 3rd Life
5. Mumbo always having his final death moments after Jimmy’s final death
6. Pearl & Scar winning their seasons after being the underdog the entire season & having it the hardest
7. The first interaction Etho & Joel had in the entire life series was while they were in boats
8. Every time Scott is in the final two, whoever loses dies to a mob they didn’t know was behind them (Ren in Last Life, Scott in Real Life)
9. Jimmy always cursing at least one of his allies to do horribly each season (3rd Life was Scott’s lowest placement ever, 10th. Last Life: both Mumbo & Impulse were in the bottom 4. Double Life: Tango played poorly and was responsible for 2/3 of their deaths. Limited Life, Joel was out third & The Bad Boys died A LOT. Secret Life: Martyn was the first yellow AND the first red despite literally winning the previous season. EVEN REAL LIFE, Jimmy teamed with Grian, Joel, Scar & Impulse, who were the first 4 to be eliminated.)
10. Since Double Life, Pearl has wanted her allies to win the current seasons, she has outlived all of her main allies every season since then (Big B in Limited Life & Mumbo, BDubs & Joel in Secret Life)
11. Joel literally & metaphorically being the reason Lizzie was the first one out instead of Jimmy in Secret Life (Lizzie only died because she was trying to kill Scott to help out with Joel’s assassin task, by the time she tried to kill him & died in the process, Joel had already failed his task & just hadn’t told her yet, so if he had told her that he had failed, she wouldn’t have taken Scott to the end & fallen into the void & Jimmy probably would’ve first out again. Also when they were hosting an early funeral for Jimmy, Joel opened the grave & told Jimmy to “Rise”, I think this was Joel unknowingly breaking the curse.)
12. The fact that Gem’s final death is always her coming 3rd & dying in a 2v1 situation.
13. Joel’s first death in Last Life was fall damage, his first death in Secret Life was also fall damage. The reason Joel ended up on red life in Last Life was because of the Boogeyman curse (both times), in Secret Life, he because red because of being killed by a Boogeyman. In Last Life Joel’s final death was at the hands of Scott, causing him to place 5th, in Secret Life, Joel’s final death was being killed by Scott, causing him to place 5th. I’m leaving out one of Joel’s Last Life deaths, specifically when he died to Mumbo in self defence, but that’s mostly cuz there are more deaths in Last Life than Secret Life
This isn’t even all of them, there are so many more!
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enderwoah · 3 days
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enderwoah · 5 days
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dear god um um um
i never have just one song stuck in my head but recently its been:
@avidenthusiastoftomfoolery here u go king
(Queueing this to 8:30 p.m. EST today)
Okay! I want to start a tag game... 2 truths, 1 lie! Put a poll with 2 truths and 1 lie, set it for a week, and see what your mutuals think is the lie!
Afterwards, tag as many mutuals as your heart desires (if you need a number, I'm aiming for 8) and then link a song that us currently on your mind!
I'll start
@rubiqunda @screamingsquamousthings @pariskim @coolswagwoman @faggotarchives @spleakerboy @dale-aficionado-blueberry @smug-puppy
Finally, my current song stuck in my head at this very second
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enderwoah · 5 days
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oh boy ummm
hermitcraft/life series (this is obvious)
fnaf (i can say with authority that the timeline takes about an hour to explain in-depth)
specifically jimmy solidarity
hadestown (specifically the broadway version of epic iii and why it made me lose 50 years off my life)
my own fics (i never get to talk about them i could go on and on fr)
@avidenthusiastoftomfoolery go on then..
I saw this meme going around on twitter and I think it'll be perfect for this account.
List 5 topics you can talk on for an hour without preparing any material.
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enderwoah · 11 days
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it tried to register its quirk as "chat" but they thought it was crazy
bnha sona i made for a thing with friends
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enderwoah · 13 days
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happy april 13th!
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enderwoah · 13 days
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Storyboard Final !! ofc I had to draw Etho and Bdubs grgrggrgrrgr 🦖🦖
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enderwoah · 13 days
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based on this post [from tiktok, just found the post again so edited this post] [edit again: I found the oldest ver off of twitter]
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enderwoah · 13 days
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This is literally the most bomb-ass D&D story I’ve ever read in my life oh my god.
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enderwoah · 14 days
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enderwoah · 14 days
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CLASSPECTING DOUBLE LIFE
i've finally got it. a complete, comprehensive, optimised list of classpects and lunar sways for all of the double life members (and a couple of others). by "complete and optimised," of course, i mean it's a complete list of my opinions! if you disagree, nifty! there are too many class/aspect/lunar sway combos for everyone to come to an agreement, this is just the result of my (and some lovely tumblr users) character analysis!
not only is this a list, it's also explanations for each choice i made, so this is going to be long as hell. hopefully it's a bit easier to understand for people that don't know tooooo much about homestuck (or maybe just not knowing too much about classpects bc lets be real that stuff is CONFUSING).
the little (+) and (-) at the end of each class is simply to mark it as an active (+) or passive (-) class. personally, i don't put too much weight into it, but some people might vibe w/ it idk. the other aspect at the end of each aspect is it's opposite.
unlike the twelve classes and aspects, prospit vs derse is a very black and white classification, making it difficult to fit every character perfectly in one slot. as such, you may notice that some people don't fully fit in their assigned dream moon! which is fine—that just means i feel as if they fit more in one over the other. derse and prospit were also said by Hussie to sort of indicate a player's active/passive role in the game, respectively. if someone has a passive class but are a derse dreamer, that probably means that they're utilising the qualities of their passive class in a very distinct and active way—same goes for the opposite. this is not always the case, however, because i honestly forgot about derse and prospit being active/passive until way after i was done slotting them all in. if it works, it works!
as there are fourteen double life members, expect a few characters to have the same class or aspect as someone else! that's just how the cookie crumbles.
hope ur ready. im not.
[disclaimer: technically, these in-depth analyses could be considered SPOILERS for the comic, as they're not fully explained until act six. there are no actual plot spoilers, though, so do what you would like!]
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DREAM MOONS
Prospit - Flexibly optimistic, Prospit Dreamers are reactive and intuitive. They exist in the present, rather than looking to the future or obsessing over the past, and when making decisions they tend to rely on gut instincts and whatever they're feeling int he moment to guide them. They are quick to act and reliable in crisis, but they have difficulties thinking things through and are often seen as flighty. They are less rebellious than they are adaptable, instead finding away to coexist with authority than fight against it. They are naturally trusting and often project a self into the world that isn't necessarily them. ("-")
Derse - Derse Dreamers are marked by a distinct and restless skepticism. Rebellion is in their blood, and they are prone to fight against everything that moves, regardless of perceived importance to other people. They are cerebral and self-aware, and as such their identities are built on the control they have over their surroundings. They are often inflexible and pessimistic, but they are great problem solvers that face conflict with shrewd, calculating minds. They find sincere vulnerability difficult and often keep people at an arm's length. Living in the moment is hard for a Derse Dreamer; they look towards the future and analyze the past. ("+")
[adapted from the official extended zodiac page.]
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CLASSPECTS
[all aspect descriptions were stolen from dahni, who probably has the best homestuck class/aspect analysis in the fandom. several of the descriptions of powers were stolen from kess, who probably makes the best descriptions of classpect-specific powers in the fandom. they also do lands and fraymotifs. check both of them out for all your classpecting needs!]
[if i call anyone an asshole or a dickhead, please understand that i am referring to them in a /rp sense. i am well aware that they're all lovely people irl! ^^]
Grian - Derse - Witch of Time
Witch - Starts off by breaking the rules and boundaries of their aspect, pushing and manipulating it to its limits at their whim. Must learn when use/manipulation of their aspect is really needed and when it isn't; self-regulation/control. (+)
Time - Repetition, mechanical. Destruction, endings. Precision, impatience, choice. Movement, velocity, music. Literal time. (Space)
Time players are very "fuck the system, fight everything" types of people. They're defensive, impulsive, empathetic and determined problem solvers. They're constantly in motion and it physically pains them to take things as they come, even when doing so may be the safest option. So basically, every iteration of Grian ever falls under Time.
Even if we ignore his current "literally interacting with a rift in space-time that drags things into my base from alternate timelines" lore on Hermitcraft, he's generally that sort of restlessly active, "doesn't know when to stop" kind of person. Goal-focused, values the destination over the journey...he checks all the boxes.
Witches also have that "does things for shits and giggles" swag, and they start of their journey very carefree and shirk responsibility in favour for messing around. Being a Time player, though that quality would probably get sucker punched out of him once their timeline spirals into a doomed timeline and he has to fix that.
In terms of powers, Witches can Manipulate their aspect—being a Time player, that is ridiculously powerful. When fighting an enemy, he could manipulate the timeline of their life—i.e., age them until they're nothing but dust or crank it back until they're a squealing infant (or just plain doesn't exist). All Time players can also time travel, so hopping from timeline to timeline would be absolutely no problem.
Scar - Prospit - Heir of Life
Heir - Starts off with an abundance of their aspect, basically inheriting it and having a natural proficiency regarding it. Must learn how to properly embrace their aspect and learn to manipulate that abundance of it to aide themselves and others. (-)
Life - Healing, positivity, energy. Growing, increasing/raising. Authority/power, luxury, wealth. Rebellion, recklessness, liberation. Literal life, plants, animals, food, youth. (Doom)
I feel like in every bit of content I have ever seen Scar in, he's always got some aspect of Life or another surrounding him. He's been the mayor, he's a savvy businessman, both of which fulfill luxury, authority/power, and wealth requirement. He's apparently a "luscious elf" in HCS9, whatever that means, and his base was a giant tree and he made cookies—plants and food. He's generally just an energetic, happy dude that dies laughing time and time again, always coming back with a grin and that same pep in his step that he always has.
Given these circumstances, I felt as if the Heir of Life was a title that suit him! He just radiates the energy of Life everywhere he goes, and it would make sense for him to need to learn how to wrangle in that innate recklessness that gets him killed over and over—you never know when the death might matter a bit too much and you don't respawn.
Power-wise, Heirs have full agency with their aspect and can sometimes literally become it—while I don't think it would be especially helpful to become a tree, it would make sense for Scar to be able to eventually control plants or even grant them their own agency to help him. Another idea is that he always magically takes on a form to help him just before he dies—i.e., growing gills right before drowning, boosting strength when he desperately needs it, which all might develop into him being able to properly shapeshift into any animal (eventually).
Scott - Derse - Prince of Mind
Prince - Often starts off ghosting their opposite aspect, but not always. They have a tendency to reject their aspect and actively work to fully destroy it within themselves and their surroundings. Must learn to harness their destructive tendencies and utilise them, either to systematically and purposefully destroy their aspect or to destroy using their aspect. (+)
Mind - Rationality, rational decisions, reason, logic, unbiased, impersonal. Apathetic, indifference, equal possibility. Disguises, blending in, perceptions, worldviews. Literal minds, brains, thoughts, memories. (Heart)
Princes are often assholes! Moving on.
In all seriousness, though, Scott gives hella Mind player vibes. He's probably one of the most analytically minded members of this entire group, to a point where it's kind of freaky in comparison to everyone else, but he does kind of do the whole "ghosting their opposite aspect" thing in a sense that he throws the impartiality aspect of Mind out of the window. He'll root himself in stubbornness based on one happenstance, he'll go through ridiculous lengths to maintain a partnership he has (even if it may not be the most beneficial thing in the world), and he's a serial, chronic flirt.
He's also a liar, manipulator, and he does it to benefit himself and his very close teammates. Princes destroy their aspect, and fucking with people's minds and gaslighting them sounds pretty damn similar.
Powers for a Prince of Mind are fucking raw. Destroying someone's mind could literally mean driving them to insanity, and destroying someone's perceptions could mean making them go blind or deaf. He could probably also destroy people's memories, making them an amnesiac in a particular place of his choice (think making them a full amnesiac vs making them forget how to fight). Destroying with Mind gives vibes of sending terrible images into someone's mind, or just plain Mind Spike-ing using telepathy and making people go into shock. Crazy ass mf.
Pearl - Derse - Mage of Blood
Mage - Starts off immensely suffering because of their aspect, be it an overabundance of it, a lack of it, or something in between. Must learn how to overcome that suffering and use the knowledge obtained from it to help themselves and guide others. (+)
Blood - Unity, connection, interpersonal bonds. Commitment, attachment, obligation, promises. Responsibility, dependence. Inflexibility, material, tangible. Literal blood. (Breath)
This one is pretty simple. Pearl has really had the ups and downs of Blood—and in terms of Double Life, it's mostly the downs. Being rejected by not only her soulmate, but also both members of her former team...ouch. Fans of the three Gs wept.
Throughout DL, she tried for alliances time and time again and failed basically every single time, but instead of being destroyed by it—or, at least, instead of being completely destroyed by it—she harnessed her loneliness and channeled it into strength and spite and won the entire game for herself. Suffering because of bonds, unity, connections, and overcoming that suffering to do herself some good? Very Mage of Blood, through and through.
Powers are vague, since Mages are probably the most elusive of the classes we know about, but something like being able to make Literal blood contracts that the game itself wouldn't allow you to break without severe repercussions sounds about right. Probably able to immediately point out what matters to a person most (be it a person, place, or thing), could also very possibly actually be able to see soulmate strings.
Tango - Derse - Heir of Rage
Heir - Starts off with an abundance of their aspect, basically inheriting it and having a natural proficiency regarding it. Must learn how to properly embrace their aspect and learn to manipulate that abundance of it to aide themselves and others. (-)
Rage - Unconditional anger, hate, fear. Refusal, defiance, rejection, skepticism, doubt. Negativity, despair, denial. (Hope)
Another decently cut-and-dry one, Heir of Rage Tango. A very, very fucking dangerous classpect.
As Heirs have an inherent abundance of their aspect, and Rage is, well...Rage, you can easily see what I was going for and why it fits Tango. The man is perfectly amicable sometimes but is prone to flying off the ragehandle and going absolutely off the shits when it comes to bad things happening to him and his allies/friends. He constantly has that bubble of anger underneath his skin that may or may not be be especially useful when it's out of control. Heirs need to learn when to and specifically when not to embrace their aspect in a crucial moment, but I think Tango's probably got it down pat.
That being said, it wouldn't be a good thing for him to smother all of that, either—inverting to a Hope player would do nobody any sort of good, mostly because he would be bad at it and probably bring Down the Hope by forcing himself into apathy. There is a healthy middle! This is why Jimmy and Tango are moirails.
In terms of powers...Jesus Christ. And I really do mean Holy Fuck. As previously stated, Heirs can often turn into their aspect—I would like for you to sit down and imagine what someone turning into the physical embodiment of rage, anger, fury, and every negative thought and feeling you can think of would look like...and then imagine the destruction they could unleash on an entire army of enemies. He would also be able to inspire Rage in others and manipulate it, cranking it up for his teammates to give that boost of righteous justice or cranking it all the way down for enemies, leaving them either hollow and useless or friendly and unnervingly pleasant towards them. He could project his own negative emotions onto others, so if he felt even the smidgen of fear his enemies would feel a horrible anxiousness and terror. Heirs are incredibly versatile, I could make a whole post taking about how fucking wild these powers would be, but one thing is for sure—be very afraid.
Jimmy - Prospit - Page of Doom
Page - Starts off with a lack of their aspect/lack of control of their aspect/at the mercy of their aspect. Must learn how to tap into their full hidden potential with their aspect and provide it to others. Once that full potential is released, they are one of the strongest players in the game. (-)
Doom - Harm, negativity. Caution, control/limits, necessity. Acceptance, withdrawal, equality/wisdom. Things decreasing/lowering. Literal doom, death, technology. (Life)
Pages! Pages are very odd in a sense that "having a deficiency in their aspect" is not exactly the most specific thing ever. It can range from someone with the "freedom, movement" aspect being literally crippled to someone with the "beliefs, optimism" aspect being actually pretty happy and joyful but a complete fucking moron at the same time and overcompensating.
Which basically means I can do whatever the fuck I want lmfao.
We all know about Jimmy's "canary curse," and a curse (or a virus COUGH) sounds like a very Doom-y thing to me—especially considering this curse literally makes him die, or at least become a catalyst for horrible things to happen in the Homestuck sense. He brings about Doom onto himself and others, a Page vibe through and through.
It would make sense to assume, then, that if Jimmy managed to get a handle on this curse, to tap into that inherent aura of destruction and death that he has within himself and simply can't control, he could be pretty fuckin' scary...if it ever happens. There is no guarantee that he will.
Aside from the death part of Doom, he's pretty garbage at all the other parts, too—caution (no), control/limits (no), necessity (no), equality/wisdom (no)—seriously, limits? Rules? The man tried to team with everything that breathed on Double Life, whether they had wronged him or not, and then turned around and remembered "oh yeah, this person wronged us!" and would start working to mess with them. Sir. Please.
Pages are very funny in a sense that they start off as the weakest class that is the least in-touch with their aspect, but as soon as they grasp that spark and utilise it, they are described as one of the most powerful classes. Period. Doom is a very versatile aspect, ranging from literal death to destruction to explosions to corrosion to coding and technology (including the coding and tech of the game itself). Because of this, the powers of a Page of Doom would be pretty nuts—basically being able to harness any sort of destructive, corrosive energy you can think of to fight, and also benefit other teammates with that (think making his teammates' weapons do more damage or deal corrosive damage). He could also somehow manage to exploit loopholes in the game or break shit to make the game skewed towards his favour, but that is DEFINITELY a very high-level thing and doesn't even need to be considered.
We're still talking about Jimmy, here.
Ren - Derse - Sylph of Space
Sylph - Starts off intensely meddling with their aspect, getting into other people's business with it (that is to say, about it and using it), never shutting up about it, forcing their ideas/ideals about it onto other people, and interfering and trying to help others with it in a way that often hurts more than helps. Must learn how to utilise their knowledge and abundance of their aspect in a way that actually helps and heals people and helps and heals their aspect. (-)
Space - Biology, beginnings, creation. Destiny, fate. Variation, ambiguity, patience. Creativity, big picture, literal space, physics. (Time)
Ren is such a good vibes guy, I just had to give him a good vibes Class. And his Aspect is easily the most important one, so the guy is particularly special when it comes to his session! Sylphs have a tendency to go on tangents about their aspect and basically shove it into everyone's faces, and I sort of just connected the fact that Ren is incredibly dramatic and wrangles people into his eccentric bits all the time to his inherent kindness and healer vibes. By "healer vibes" I mean the cool kind of healer, the kind of healer that would heal you and then whirl around with a sword and slice an enemy in half behind them. He gives those vibes.
Also, the canon description of Space players says that "[they understand] that sometimes you have to let something burn to the ground in order to build it back better and stronger than before" and that just reminded me of the whole "Rentheking" thing going on in Hermitcraft. They are endlessly creative and innovative, and they are focused on the big picture rather than the fussy little details...which sometimes makes them a bit vague and hard to pin down, but it's certainly not intolerable in Ren's case.
In terms of powers, Space players obviously have the whole "space, physics" thing going on for them, but a Sylph of Space would be able to do all of that whilst maintaining the least damage to Space itself. They could easily teleport and mend tears in space while also being able to create pocket dimensions if they so pleased. They could heal people by binding shit back together at the molecular level and also probably create healing-based objects.
BigB - Prospit - Rogue of Void
Rogue - Starts off with a feeling of awkwardness surrounding their aspect, believing that they aren't fit for it or it isn't suited for them or believing that it would be better off with someone else. Must learn to embrace their aspect, as it is a part of them, and trust their instincts regarding it and further their innate understanding of its applications so they can take it and redistribute it to help their team. (-)
Void - Secrets, doubt, confusion. Irrelevance, infinite possibilities, indifference. Literal void, lack-of-something, darkness. (Light)
Unfortunately, I cannot say I know too much about Bigb, but from what I can see he seems like a very nice, genuine dude with a penchant for generally being kind. On that same note, I don't think his little "secret soulmates" thing with Grian was born out of maliciousness—becoming "secret soulmates" with someone only to like gossip and trade items and give each other cookies and not actually have it be a substantial secret gives Rogue of Void vibes, especially considering how he seemed to let Grian initiate most of their "secret" interactions.
Ultimately, one could say his unfortunate demise came from him being too active, both as a passive class and as a Void player. Him rushing into a fight in broad daylight with Ren is pretty unbecoming of a Void player, and a bit of irony might be the fact that a) it was Ren died and not him, and nobody really saw him when he died because he was trailing behind and b) it was his "secret soulmate" that did the deed.
In terms of playing the game, I'd probably say that Bigb would have to fall back on and trust that aspect of being low-key that he has, as it will most likely end up being very beneficial for everyone considering a Rogue of Void's skillset!
A Rogue of Void would be able to Steal Nothingness in order to aide others. To steal the absence of something would be Making something, so he can just...create items. Very important items, if need be. Stealing secrecy and darkness and applying it to himself or others implies being able to turn himself and his teammates invisible or something along those lines, also possibly being able to travel through shadows like those mfs from the Princess and the Frog.
Bdubs - Prospit - Seer of Hope
Seer - Starts off passively observing and recording their aspect, forming their own stubborn opinions surrounding it. Must learn to be more open-minded to be able to learn every possible aspect of their aspect and use that knowledge to aide others and guide them into making the right choices. (-)
Hope - Unconditional love, trust, belief, literal hope. Confirmation, acceptance. Optimism, naïve optimism, positivity, euphoria. (Rage)
Hope—beliefs, optimism, trust, literal hope—plus a Seer—knows too much about and doesn't shut up about their aspect—equals someone really good to talk to about your problems and get advice from.
Bdubs simply has that Hope player swag, and he's got big eyes so he's a Seer move on. No, but seriously, he's very thoughtful and cunning sometimes, and I'd say that he often has pretty good plans and definitely has that "relentless fountain of knowledge" vibe that Seers do, especially considering the...[glances at bdubs and hermittwt] recent developments.
In terms of powers, Seers don't really have too much going for them. A Seer of Hope would most likely be able to see people's beliefs, people's loves (take that as you will), and most helpfully, people's intentions. If this was honed to a fine point, it could make him a literal PVP god, but he would probably do best working as a strategist or even a mole/spy. He could also possibly See the happiness level of someone, perhaps having a mood bar over the people he meets (just because it sounds funny). He could most likely also see the most Hopeful outcome in a situation/for one specific persona and guide that situation/person to the best possible outcome. As is a Seer's job!
Impulse - Prospit - Bard of Blood
Bard - Often starts off ghosting their opposite aspect, but not always. They often passively (accidentally/unknowingly/unintentionally) get rid of their aspect in some way or another before having something akin to a reckoning moment where they violently snap back to their aspect and use it to destroy. Must get a firm grip on their destructive tendencies and act more like a catalyst for the destruction of their aspect or destruction through their aspect. (-)
Blood - Unity, connection, interpersonal bonds. Commitment, attachment, obligation, promises. Responsibility, dependence. Inflexibility, material, tangible. Literal blood. (Breath)
Impulse's classpecting is probably one of the more tragic ones on here.
As stated, Bards often inadvertently destroy their aspect in some way or another, and Impulse certainly is no exception. In both 3rd Life and Last Life, Impulse basically got kicked in the ass by/because of his connections, attachments, and bonds—3rd Life being him getting betrayed by Bdubs for one (1) singular clock and Last Life being him being the last member of the Southlands that stuck with Grian and then dying in their wither fight.
Fortunately for Impulse, he's learned from the past two times—now that he is legally obligated to be paired with someone, he's sort of had his "aren't you tired of being nice" moment and proceeded to work with Bdubs, his own bond, to destroy other people's bonds—using Blood to destroy Blood. The man has gone for it both ways. All of this gives hella Bard of Blood vibes, and it's nice to see a Bard not being a complete and total dickhead for once!
Powers are sort of vague, as it is with Blood, but it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that while Pearl is able to create blood contracts that people are inclined to uphold because of a threat of something terrible, Impulse would be able to make contracts that are Made To Be Broken. Devil's deal type beat, I would recommend not shaking his hand because one way or another, you're going to fail to uphold your end of the deal...and it will not be pretty for you when you don't. Being able to destroy blood in a literal sense certainly makes one think of several violent things that I probably shouldn't type out—you can get the picture. Destroying connections and unity and bonds gives vibes of someone just making things go wrong around him—machinery and electronics simply stop working, and eventually his very presence could make an entire society break down. Rebel leader Impulse and Oh My Fucking God I just remembered his whole "I'm tired of being nice" thing on HCS9 GUYSSSSS THIS IS GENIUS
Etho - Prospit - Thief of Breath
Thief - Starts off rather selfish and/or self-absorbed, literally or figuratively stealing their aspect from people to benefit themselves without much of a second thought for who they're disservicing. Honestly, they don't really change that—they mostly have to learn how to not be a complete douche with it and grow and further their abilities to become the strongest they can be. (+)
Breath - Freedom, disconnection, detachment. Apathy, indifference. Independence, flexibility, options, liberties. Movement, separation. Literal air/breath, ethereality, intangibility. (Blood)
Etho simply gives vibes of a Breath player. A true Hermit that really gives no shits and teams with who he wants to team with and avoids who he wants to avoid and everyone just sort of has to deal with him or get fucking destroyed by him and Joel. You might even get destroyed by him and Joel while actively trying to appeal to them. Who the hell knows?
Big Thief vibes in him not caring about who he affects and even exploiting it sometimes, and I wouldn't say that he's necessarily selfish, but he certainly doesn't just give things away if it's not going to benefit him in return. Would probably make a pun about himself being "breathtaking."
Obviously, a Thief of Breath could literally steal someone's breath away—manipulating the air in their lungs to come Out of their lungs and making sure none goes back In. Breath also represents freedom and movement, so he could possibly magically slow people down to speed himself up like some sort of fucked up Sonic that actually makes the world around him slow down while he's moving super fast. He could probably eventually lock people in place and use the movement from them to boost himself—if he freezes six people, he can move with the combined speed of all six people. He can probably flash step, the fucking weeb, and can probably dash through the air like the Hollow Knight mc. Stealing using wind and breath, however, gives him more of a stealth aspect—he could move quieter than the breeze, his steps are light as a feather, you wouldn't be able to hear him if you were breathing, etc, etc. He could probably manipulate wind to steal items from people, maybe even doing a windy thing that takes stuff directly out of someone's sylladex (inventory).
Joel - Prospit - Maid of Rage
Maid - Starts off relying on others for advice regarding/for their aspect and having little to no agency surrounding it themselves. Must learn to seek it out on their own and create it where there is none, utilising it for their own needs whilst serving it for others in turn. (+)
Rage - Unconditional anger, hate, fear. Refusal, defiance, rejection, skepticism, doubt. Negativity, despair, denial. Physical pain, suffering. (Hope)
I think out of everyone listed, Joel already had his arc regarding his classpect the longest time ago. He's been acting out the vibe of a Maid of Rage probably ever since Last Life, or even before—I can't say I watched his POV or any surrounding POVs for him during 3rd Life, but I distinctly remember him just Having A Bunch Of Wolves by the end and going apeshit with that.
If Joel does anything at all, it's Creating Rage within himself and within other people. The man went red in session two of Last Life and was a menace until the very end—he stayed alive until the very end after being the first to go red. Rage is Anger, yes, but it's also Conviction and Strength, both things Joel has in pleasant abundance.
Maids make sure their aspect gets the furthest reach possible, which means a Maid of Rage would be spreading hatred, anger, and fear anywhere they can. Sounds Joelish (/mostly joking). He would most likely be able to make enemies feel fear, doubts, regrets, etc. He could amplify pure suffering in people, basically creating pain inside of them, eventually possibly being able to straight up make someone have a heart attack or go into shock from all of that raw pain. He could possibly be able to bring to life people's greatest nightmares and drive people a bit bonkers with that. He could probably root someone to the spot with mere eye contact, and he probably has endless strength and passion or something and simply never gets tired.
Cleo - Derse - Thief of Light
Thief - Starts off rather selfish and/or self-absorbed, literally or figuratively stealing their aspect from people to benefit themselves without much of a second thought for who they're disserving. Honestly, they don't really change that—they mostly have to learn how to not be a complete douche with it and grow and further their abilities to become the strongest they can be.
Light - Reality, awareness, perception, information, knowledge. Illumination, literal light. Luck, probability. (Void)
Thieves are often assholes! Moving on.
Okay, fine. Why, pray tell, did I give Cleo the classpect of one of the most hated character in the series? Well, you see.
She's manipulative. She lies. She hides things. She obfuscates. She's got the bluntness of a Light player and the knack for fucking with people (and proceeding to get away with it) of a Thief. Her constant tendency of blatantly lying to people's faces is, to put it in a metaphorical way, pulling the wool over someone's eyes. Shrouding them in darkness, the lack of knowledge of her shenanigans with Scott and what she's doing to people. Fucking with people's realities, awareness, perception...gaslighting...yeah. Thief of Light.
Powers for a Thief of Light basically had only one aspect of them explored in the comic despite being The Most Prominently Featured God Tier...which is the manipulation of luck. Cleo could steal the luck of other people to increase her luck, which, to put in video game terms, means that she'd boost her chances of getting eight critical hits in a row whilst simultaneously making it so her enemies have a much higher chance of missing eight times in a row. She could literally steal light, probably being able to grant herself night vision of sorts (and, if she felt like it, blinding everyone else in the room). Actually, blinding people would probably be another power, as would stealing knowledge from people, being able to make them useless in battle or even literal babies in terms of brainpower.
Great, that's two people that can basically remove the brains of anyone they come across and make them go blind. This really bodes well for this session. /s
Martyn - Derse - Knight of Heart
Knight - Starts off with a decent grasp on their aspect but a crippling lack of self-confidence in regards to it (also in general, sometimes). Must learn to trust themselves and their instincts in regards to their aspect and protect it/use it to protect others. (+)
Heart - Emotions, feelings. Personality, bias. Passion, impulses, instincts. (Mind)
Martyn, I feel, is one of the most passionate members of the Life series in general. He basically has a casting type of being a protector/defender and has ever since 3rd Life, where he was Ren's right hand. His passion and his handle on his instincts in a skilled manner really portrays how Knights use their aspect as a weapon: Martyn fights with his whole being and soul behind what he believes in, and he protects anything he's passionate about defending with just a bit more oomph than anyone else could.
Of course, being a Knight, they feel as if they have some sort of deficiency in their aspect despite them just...not. His relationship with Cleo in Double Life could be a good example: his stubbornness to change his mind about his actions in session one being helpful is Heartish, but the inherent confusion that came with Cleo not immediately changing her mind is sort of Knightish. His increasingly desperate attempts to "get her back" (including that horrendous red...box) all the while trying to maintain that idea of him being in the right when it's becoming more and more obvious that he very much might not have been actually gives vibes of a Knight who's powering through his Knight Arc (or whatever) and putting his foot down and trusting his gut about the matter. And lo and behold, even while he was blatantly refusing to accept responsibility, he and Cleo still managed to become acquaintances faster than Scott and Pearl did.
Him managing to pull that off just shows how good of a handle on his aspect he has, especially when he absolutely refuses to waver on it like he may have done in the past. I think after the situation with Cleo, he would learn that he has his own agency to make his own decisions about who and what he wants to protect instead of only relying on others for it like in the past. That isn't to say he can't latch himself to people and groups like he did before—it is in his nature after all—but post-this arc, I belive he would realise that he's down to break away from those or start his own shit at any moment he wants.
Powers for a Knight of Heart most obviously includes soul weapons. He left his sword at home and forgot to put it back in his strife specibus Oh No He Didn't. That Is A Glowing Sword Come Out Of His Chest. It could change into any style of weapon he wants, and once it becomes easier to maintain, he could probably just make any necessary tools or weapons he can think of. Heart players have this silly ability to splinter, which is basically fracturing their soul to make manifestations of themselves. Eventually, Martyn could possibly be able to summon a shitton of those guys with all their own strengths and weaknesses and individual prowesses. He would probably get a really sick boost of strength when defending himself and his friends.
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BONUS (SPRITES):
Mumbo - Prospit - Knight of Mind
Knight - Starts off with a decent grasp on their aspect but a crippling lack of self-confidence in regards to it (also in general, sometimes). Must learn to trust themselves and their instincts in regards to their aspect and protect it/use it to protect others. (+)
Mind - Rationality, rational decisions, reason, logic, unbiased, impersonal. Apathetic, indifference, equal possibility. Disguises, blending in, perceptions, worldviews. Literal minds, brains, thoughts, memories. (Heart)
Mumbo is sooo Knight-coded it's insane. Yes you little skroinkle bimble-doo you are so good at everything you set your mind to and you do it with ease but you will never acknowledge it will you. You are so silly and Knightish. (<- going insane. this is the last analysis i have to do.)
This isn't to say that Mumbo has low self-esteem or anything, he's just fucking brilliant and he really never seems to embrace it or say anything about it. The guy is smart, maybe not necessarily clever, but certainly smart, and he's decently rational when you compare him to the rest of the Hermits. He could probably out-logic anyone that decided to try and argue logic with him, but as soon as someone like Grian comes in with his nonsensical roundabout reasoning, I'd suspect that Mumbo would crumple like a tin can.
Unfortunately, for this type of Knight, I can't really say "HE PULLS A BLADE OUT OF XYZ," but I will say that he'd most likely have some sort of mind control/brainwashing nonsense he could implement in people. His brain would process things like a supercomputer, and while Mumbo seems like he would be a pretty passive player, if it came down to it in a fight, he'd be able to analyse the enemy's fighting style like fucking JARVIS or basically slow-mo an attack in his mind to figure out how to expertly dodge bullets.
Lizzie - Derse - Witch of Light
Witch - Starts off by breaking the rules and boundaries of their aspect, pushing and manipulating it to its limits at their whim. Must learn when use/manipulation of their aspect is really needed and when it isn't; self-regulation/control. (+)
Light - Reality, awareness, perception, information, knowledge. Illumination, literal light. Luck, probability. (Void)
Okay to be completely real I don't have an in-depth explanation for this one with examples and everything you're just going to have to trust me alright.
Lizzie individually has the swag of both a Witch and a Light player, and together it forms a person who's as clever as they are vaguely ditzy. That is to say, she could outsmart your ass at any given time of day, but once the knowledge that would allow her to do that is deemed irrelevant, it's basically forgotten until an "oh shit, I forgot about that" moment happens.
Witches are generally friendly people that really enjoy messing around with their aspect towards the beginning of the game. As Light deals with knowledge and whatnot, this classpect implies dicking around with people (but not in a particularly malicious way, Unlike Some Other Light Players I Know) and knowledge and information, and having some sort of connection with light and manipulating attention. Bright pink hair and also fairy vibes, anyone?
Powers for a Witch of Light vary as much as the aspect does, but the first think I can think of is the fact that Lizzie can literally deal radiant damage. She could make lazerbeams of pure light or open up the colour spectrum to things Humans Shouldn't Be Able To See. She could also manipulate luck, which is hilarious—"hey, Lizzie, what are the chances of a comically oversized anvil dropping on this hoarde of imps in front of us rn?" "uh...id give it a good 100%" [CLANG]
Skizz - Derse - Knight of Blood
Knight - Starts off with a decent grasp on their aspect but a crippling lack of self-confidence in regards to it (also in general, sometimes). Must learn to trust themselves and their instincts in regards to their aspect and protect it/use it to protect others. (+)
Blood - Unity, connection, interpersonal bonds. Commitment, attachment, obligation, promises. Responsibility, dependence. Inflexibility, material, tangible. Literal blood. (Breath)
I watched two hours of Skizz content (a few eps. of his Last Life POV) to formulate this so kindly forgive me if it is inaccurate.
In the context of Last Life (as that is basically the only frame of reference I have), he assigned himself to the position of leader of BEST and took it incredibly seriously, dedicating valuable time to setting up plans, maps, and failsafes for the team—i.e., the secret respawn room in the bunker. He prided himself on making sure the team was a completely well-oiled machine that would stay functioning and stay together no matter what happened.
It did happen once or twice where he'd pushed the team a little harder than necessary in a very "just in case," "this needs to be perfect" kind of way, especially considering the practice regarding the TNT cannon. There were also moments when a team leader probably would have been most fit to step up and help the members sort through something (especially regarding interpersonal ordeals) and he did little to nothing at all, sitting back and letting Bdubs or Etho take care of it.
Overcompensating for and underestimating their ability to handle their aspect is a very Knightish thing, and as had been made clear, he was a very team-oriented guy. I mean, the man was such a good leader that the BEST team even managed to fully maintain itself while he was red and actively against them, and only started falling apart after he fully lost all of his lives, and even while he was red, he said himself that he couldn't bring himself to really hurt his team—his brothers—and still wanted to see them succeed.
So many damn Blood players...why did I repeat the aspect that we know basically NOTHING ABOUT.
As Knights weaponise their aspect, Skizz having a similar thing to Martyn would make sense, except instead of being able to draw weapons from his soul like a goddamn Crystal Gem, he could manipulate his own blood to turn into cool weapons instead. Alternatively, if the mental image of giving yourself a wound to make a weapon isn't your cup of tea, I could also potentially see him getting a specific weapon based on who it is he's fighting alongside. Hemokinesis is an obvious one, which can be used in several versatile ways—from healing to straight up bloodbending.
Skizz is a sprite because the universe had to fucking NERF HIM
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CONCLUSION
This session is fucking doomed.
There are two Thieves. Two Active Rage players. A Thief and a Prince in an alliance. A Bard of Blood. A Page of Doom that's probably cursed/virused to Doom whatever session he's a part of or something like that.
The members of the team that would probably benefit their more unstable participants are all sprites.
Yeah, no. They all die at the end.
Thank you for reading!
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CREDITS
Scar's Class - @sincerely-unidentified
Bigb, Bdubs, Implulse, and Cleo's Classes - @caubool
Reading Homestuck and Dragging Me Back Into this Hellscape - @chrisrin
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enderwoah · 14 days
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[DISTANT SOUNDS OF A HEAD SLAMMING ONTO A DESK]
hi here's a homestuck panel edit with our beloveds grian the mutant rustblood and mumboe jumboe, social reject
as my brain made this into a double life au, and mumbo isn't in double life, i made it so he and grian lived together (through some wacky shenanigans that include them both being incredibly wanted) and mumbo and grian's lusus died during entry. his lusus was prototyped first, then mumbo which is why mumbo has wings in the bg there. gonna be honest, there were going to be more birdlike features on him but im so tired,,
uhhh what else. i changed mumbo's horns bc they were pissing me off. tango is an heir of rage and also a goldblood. the game in question was basically coined to be a virus by every techsavvy member of their friendgroup but grian ignored them and lo and behold, homestuck. tango and grian's handles are reignedAzidoazide and procrastinatingBellbird, respectively. tango's typing quirk is That bc both pairs of his horns look like lowercase t's :D
have a nice day this is still chrisrin's fault but im not tagging him this time lmfao
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enderwoah · 16 days
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enderwoah · 18 days
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if my abusive ex had just murdered me and instead of apologizing he gave me a poppy and said i was doomed to forever be the person that he tried to make me i would also punch him. jimmy solidarity had the right idea
edit: dear kind viewer youre not the first person to tell me not to maintag this. this note has already been taken into account. thank you
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enderwoah · 18 days
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seriously though nothing can stop me from interpreting Real Life as canon just for how it progresses the canary curse situation. i'm obsessed with it. the curse gets broken in secret life and then in the very next "series", as much of a joke as it is, you get a situation like THAT. jimmy enters a mineshaft and everyone but him dies. not just his team, though obviously it's more significant because they were all red, but ren/martyn/skizz all get a mineshaft-death apiece. that canary's not doing his job anymore. he escaped his cage and made a break for the surface and everyone else is paying the price for it, and i for one could not be more proud of that little bird.
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enderwoah · 23 days
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im finally getting around to finishing limited life and. i just got to session four & theres a bit where joel falls to his death and you IMMEDIATELY put "sub drop" in the chat and i just want you to know i gasped out loud. what the fuck. objectively hilarious it took me out like a bullet to the head i dont know if i'll ever recover. sub drop. oh my god.
I do enjoy puns
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