#no i didnt think to do that because i remembered we do it a certain way and didnt want to mess up by trying something different
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I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.
#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you.#I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible.#I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me.#I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth.#I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely.#I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin#I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't...#I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it#or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away...#to this day...#I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again#I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that.#I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY#that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back#that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed.#“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again.#By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant.#I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did.#The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement.#Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF.#You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do.#I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha#No I do not look at your blogs.#The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one.#I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel#safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time.#I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore.#And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry...#I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too...#vent
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On the first day of the new year too.
#cubbs.vent#i really cant wait to move tf out of here#im not using my adhd as a crutch but at least be patient with me#no i didnt think to do that because i remembered we do it a certain way and didnt want to mess up by trying something different#+ it didnt even cross my mind to do something different#if you wanted me to do it differently give me clear instructions to do so otherwise i wont know#and ive really gotta learn to hold my tongue#i still live with them and they are my parents so they have power over me#keep your mouth shut#dont retort#as fun as it is to annoy them now that you've had to find joy in defending yourself to the point you call it teasing them#just dont#relax#let them win#even tho you dont want ro#they have the final say#so just shut up#you can endure it for a few more months#finger crossed things work out and you'll be out of here before/by the end of 2024#things will work out#they will
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Someone out there is watching Cabin in the Woods
#i can sense it#ok. you can say well that's statistically likely#and I'd say. as a kid i watched this horror movie like (cabin in the woods) where a bunch of monsters were trapped in cages#and like doing random stuff in the house would unlock certain doors. like#for instance one of the clearest things i remember is the keys on this piano opened a door. so this random virtuoso got effed#also i think it opened in this dumpster ? or graveyard ? there was an RV. this isn't important but these are the least likely to be made up#in my memory of it. because i was like elementary school age and i didnt expect it to stay with me#but i want to know what it is!!!#anyway. if it was YOU watching cabin in the woods... hi... we are soulbound. what's up#mask.txt
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aita for not buying someone with diabetes something from a vending machine, even though they said they needed it?
i, Crow(12ish at the time, young adult now, they/them) and my friend Wren (same age, she/her) were hanging out with Wrens friend, Dove (same age, she/her). i didnt know Dove at all, i only knew Wren, and Wren was besties with Dove.
we went to a place that takes care of the kids after school, its optional, kids walk to it for fun. it had vending machines, and i only had enough money for myself and Wren. Dove went up and pointed at what she wanted from the machine, and i responded "i.. i dont have enough for all of us, im sorry-"
Dove got pretty huffy and started reminding me about her diabetes (i knew about it, only barely, because i had heard it mentioned offhandedly before), and told me she needed to have the snack. i once again told her i dont have enough money for it, and i dont know her very well.
Wren reminded Dove that she could ask the people working at the after school place, because they set aside snacks and such for her and other kids who need them. i dont remember Doves response, but i know she wasnt happy about it.
i dont think about this often, but when i do, i really wonder if i shouldve just sucked it up and bought her what she wanted. we both disliked each other for years because of this situation (me thinking she was an ass for trying to make me buy her stuff when she knew she couldve asked the people working there, and Dove thinking i was trying to let her die because i didnt want to help her.)
additional context:
im neurodivergent and am known to not trust people at all when i first meet them.
Wren didnt have any money so she couldnt have helped pay, neither did Dove.
i wasnt aware of what all diabetes entailed, other than 'you have to be careful and you sometimes need to eat certain stuff or else youll have a bad time'
i didnt know the workers gave food to people who had health conditions that needed the food, which is part of why i think i could be the asshole. if the workers Didnt give out food, i wouldve just been denying her something that couldve genuinely helped her.
im sure Wren wouldve been fine with me not getting her something from the vending machine and instead getting Dove something, but i still hadnt wanted to give Dove anything.
so, aita for not buying her something from the vending machine?
(names have been changed)
What are these acronyms?
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a collection of all the weird things that have happened to me in my life, since one of my friends said i should make one
one of my ex-friends [they cut me off bc i rightfully called out how sus it was that they went from 0 rares to a blue headdress and multiple long collars in a day] just up and vanished one day. i knew them from animal jam. they had a youtube channel and were semi-popular. i was in one of their videos, one of those animal jam adventures we played together. there were rumours they died to some illness but nothing concrete ever came out of that, but two months after that everything of their online presence disappeared. one of my friends made a video on them and their passing out of respect, but that video is gone too despite them never deleting it. we both know they existed, but none of us can find anything on them. everyone else's videos are gone too. everything about them is just gone as if they never existed
this isn't the only friend this has happened to. i've had four other friends just suddenly disappear, every trace of them existing just completely gone. typically every trace of them just disappears after 2 weeks, 2 months, or 2 weeks and 2 months. one friend was mid 2018, another friend in 2017, one in november 2019, another somewhere in early 2021, and another aj friend early 2017
this isnt as weird as everything else but we once took a picture and i saw a shiny object on it and reached down to pick it up just moments after the picture was taken but it was gone. there was only an imprint of it and it was nowhere. nobody had reached down to pick it up before me, and nobody else was around. this isnt the only object this has happened to either.
i found a human pelvis on a beach once. i am the only one that remembers this happened despite me showing both of my parents. they have no recollection of this
this didnt happen to me but it is regarding me. my mom once heard me calling for her in my room - she's in the living room sitting by the computer desk, my room is right behind the wall the computer desk is by. she answers and i don't answer back. one thing is for certain though - this was not an audiotory hallucination. she then realized that i was not home because i was in kindergarten. rightfully she was freaked the fuck out and didn't move for an hour or two
here's another story from my mom because i think its fun to include: she once heard the sounds of my dad coming home. opening the door, stepping inside, putting his shoes on the shoerrack, walking slightly into the hallway, and then all the sounds stopped. she's confused and checks the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom because those are the only three rooms he could've walked into. he's in neither of them. she's weirded out but brushes it off for a while until he comes home and makes the exact same sounds that she heard earlier that day. how interesting!
we used to have teaspoons that had two lines at the end of the spoon. one day it changed to the lines being by the front of the spoon. i asked my mom about this when i was 7 and she said "we've always had those spoons?" looking at me as if i was talking nonsense to her. we also used to have a bunch of colorful spoons! but they're also completely gone now despite us never throwing them away. i know we used to have them because i broke a blue one by biting down on it too hard once. oops.
artistic rendition of the spoons:
could also swear we used to have yellow plates matching our other colored plates [as well as cups and forks, because we bought them in a set. The Spoons Included] but we. do not have any yellow plates. my parents have said we have never had yellow plates
i could swear by my entire life that korea, thailand, china, australia and many other countries are not where they're supposed to be. this is not because of different projections. none of the projections match up to the map i know.
we used to have an orange cat named charlie, he was a stray we took in. he had no interest in going back outside and he was a cuddlebug, enjoying the safety of being inside with people that love and care for him. one day when we came home, he was completely gone as if we never had him. we asked everyone nearby if they'd seen him, but everyone said no. we only have two pictures of him [despite us taking many more of him]. here's one of them!
there were two twins that lived across our house. they were pale, had black long hair, and usually wore white - or matching dresses. sounds like a horror movie description, i know, but they actually looked like that. one day during winter after snow had fallen we found out that, when we werent home, they stood in front of our backdoor [which was honestly better described as a big window door] and windows and just stared, because their footprints were there. terrifying!
there was this one time where- apparently an alternate universe or something kinda. overlapped. or swapped? me with an alternate me. my friend rain witnessed this and apparently i called it rainai and wasn't much of an artist from what i can gather, and didn't have the same ocs as i do here. that me was also more shy and definently not the same as i was at the time. this happened in 2019
our cats teleport. i once saw one of our cats, who i will call little shit, inside, eating from the food bowls. sounds and everything from her crunching on it when i got home. i went upstairs to set up my pc and then back downstairs to say hi to her and she was nowhere to be seen. i looked around everywhere and couldn't find her, so i dmed my dad and asked if she was inside and he resopnded that she was outside. i open the door and call for her an lo and behold guess who comes running and meowing. it was not our other cat, mama cat. i can tell their shapes apart so easily
my mom and i saw a witch flying on a broom with their cat once! a shadow silhouette unmistakable for a broom, with a human on the front and cat on the end. we both looked at eachother like "you just saw that right" and just nodded
i saw a big black thing flying by my window twice the size of a raven last yeah. i'm pretty sure that was dragon shaped. four limbs and then wings. i mentioned this once in a friend group server but the chatlogs of that are just completely gone(???)
my mom once showed me an article on how they confirmed alternate universes exist. it was genuine. apparently this exact article does not exist and i am the only person i know [save for my mom] that knows alternate universes were confirmed to exist. nobody else has ever heard anything about this
there was a red pencil sharpener i checked the kitchen counter for 7 times. it was not there. it very much was not there. nobody put it there. when i asked my mom after she walked into the kitche and infront of the counter it was suddenly there after she pointed towards it for me
i will update this with a reblog if i ever remember more because my memory is very selective for some reason
#words on the wind#long post#timeline shitfuckery#unreality#<-- asked to tag but all of this /did/ happen to me
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i really like how much depth your art has, do you think you could show how you break down bodies when sketching if that makes sense? it’s something i struggle with a lot in my art! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡
ok apologies in advance, this is probably going to be a really long and tangential rant about art that may or may not actually help you in learning how to construct bodies. im just gonna put it under a cut to save everyone from seeing this huge text wall.
i dont think its gonna be possible for you to replicate my methods here, because theyre mostly just really specific shortcuts for finding certain proportions and reference points for anatomy, which i'm fairly versed in, but not as much as i'd like to be. the shortcuts you'll need will be different from mine. im glad you think my art has depth, that is something i am trying to seek very intentionally right now, and i dont think im even close to the depth of form i am actually aiming for. so like. this makes making a tutorial kind of inherently hard. nevertheless, i threw this quick sketch together after like 3 failed attempts. (i was doing those attempts digitally, ended up giving up on that and going back to traditional because its what im most comfortable with rn)
i didnt get all the steps i took to get here because scanning that much would be cumbersome but ill try to explain how i got here. i start with the head almost every time.
i use a lot of symbolic/graphic shapes when drawing heads and dont stick to using forms very often besides the circle at the center of the head, which i use as the base to form these graphic shapes around. think of it like "wrapping" the ball in various textures and masses. the eyes are usually "textured" onto the head, notice how the her left eye looks narrower then her right. of course i try to make sure her bangs sit along the curve of the sphere and her ears look like they sit on opposite sides of the head. its easy to forget that part, making the head look unsymmetrical. the particular masses of leica's head would be her snout, which is just a curve extended slightly outside the diameter of the ball, and her hair, which are two strange organic shapes that are quite hard to draw, two hair sprig anime antennae things (forgive me, i forgot the word for them,) and the back of the head, which i usually need to extend slightly. its a little too extended here, needs more on the top, i fix this in the final pass. this was a quick sketch, so i didnt focus too hard on the forms of the head beyond the most essential ones for her design, but i sometimes highlight the form of cheeks with curved hatching, or try to make the eyes appear more sunken-in as they are on human faces. i dont know how to proportion the neck and torso correctly until i draw the head, so i always do it first. next, i did the torso.
so heres why i said that you probably wont be able to replicate this approach. you do kind of just have to practice anatomy, i cant just make it make sense because im not very good at explaining this stuff, but ill try to go through what i did here. so, i generally use simplified bone shapes to find proportions and reference points, as well as more complicated shapes like those of elbows and knees. i try to study fairly often because im not satisfied with here im at with this stuff yet. of course, i dont think i'll ever be. so i'll usually start with the ribcage, add a shoulderblade out the back to find the shoulder, the armbones come out of that, the bone in the upper arm connects to the ulna with a sort of three-pronged attachment, one big knurl in the middle, which forms the thrust of the elbow, two little ones on the side. i think those are part of the ulna but i dont remember. see, you dont really have to know what exactly they do as long as you know what they look like. the ulna does some goofy rotation shit i dont understand, connects to the wrist, and then we have a hand, which, i mean, im not good enough at hands to even be telling you how to do it, but i just have a big squarish mass and some little hotdog fingers coming out of that. you can see on her left hand that ill have a big circle forming the the area on the hand where the thumb attaches... theres more depth to the hands, i think you can easily find better tutorials then i could offer. anyway, under the ribcage theres the pelvis, represented with a box. ill get into that when i talk about the legs. i wanna briefly talk about the way i add the flesh and fat to the bones.
so, i really can't give a comprehensive crash course on anatomy, but i can point you towards the morpho series, which is where i get most of this stuff from. you can get very far with the volumes Simplified Forms, Fat and Skin, and Skeleton and Bone Reference Points. moving on, i just kind of have a feel for where the masses attach by now. the important thing to remember when drawing fat characters like this is that the fat should "hang" from the bones and flesh, drooping down slightly. leicas fat hangs substantially, so she's not very wide despite her weight. this is important to her character design i feel. i almost always draw characters naked first when doing serious drawings because it will come in handy knowing where the forms of the body are when i add the clothing. by focusing on the way her body looks naked, i can modify the impression of those forms when adding clothes, and when i add them later on in this drawing, leica will take on the distinctive boxy look i try to draw her with.
if you look at the arm, youll see that the place the line of bone sits is very high compared to the whole mass of the arm, the flesh and fat of the arm "hang" from the bone, and then the upper arm squishes against the bent forearm too. even if the anatomy in the arm is indistinct, it can still look convincing when the forms act realistically against one another. the elbow has much less fat connected to it, so its more bony then the rest. this isnt actually consistent on all people so like, think about that kind of thing when designing characters, like i was talking about before, fat can sit in infinite different ways. maybe if i was doing a more objective anatomy lesson i'd draw cath, because i do have a sort of vague understanding of muscle placement that doesnt come through here, but probably would if i was drawing a scrawnier character. let me know if you want that.
a word on the breasts too: they hang a bit lower then you'd expect, keep that in mind. the attachment point is also angled, as the line shows. the line starts roughly in the middle of the torso and ends around the armpit, but the form of the breast can go underneath the armpit or even connect around the fold of fat in the back. many things to think about. i love boob shapes. ok lets finally get on with it and talk about the legs.
so, the really specific shape of the pelvis doesnt matter that much unless youre drawing a really thin character, so its just a box here. out from the sides of the pelvis, extending out more then you'd expect, is the femur, which ends in a similar joint to the arm. this shape helps me figure out the form of the knee. two masses on each side with a bunch of complex and weirdly shaped bones forming the kneecap, which i have omitted because i dont yet know shit enough to include them. i am learning though. so, obviously the feet are just scribbles here because im just gonna put her feet in socks anyway. you really dont have to do more then you have to. a few tips i can offer here, the butt should hang a bit too when drawing fat characters, i think the butt is supposed to start just below the pelvis if i remember, but take that with a grain of salt. i also didnt really do that here but its hard to tell because she's facing mostly forward. again, i dont think i can really communicate what's going on here. morpho has a lot of great drawings explaining the shapes and muscles of the legs, all things i might focus on more when drawing a scrawnier character. for this case, i regrettably don't go too hard on the legs. also i should note that legs would usually be much longer, leica is really short so ive exaggerated the proportions to communicate that. i may change my mind on that front in the future and give her more grounded proportions. the important thing to remember with legs is just getting a nice hierarchy of forms going. bigger thigh going into smaller calf going into smaller foot. it mostly comes automatically now.
i added the clothing, shaped up her head a bit, added a bit of fur. i put her in her classic outfit, just a sweater and jeans. i enjoy the big thick folds that come out of these clothes, and big areas of white space too. its nice. i try my best to form all the folds around the forms of the body i drew earlier. thats one case where i really really have no idea what im doing and could never explain it in words. its just some fun intuitive play with loops and lines. this is at around the stage for a sketch where i'd do inks, or if it was going to be a finished pencil drawing i'd erase out parts piece by piece and replace them with nicer and more defined lines and tones.
i guess that's all i can offer , i hope that halped.
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Do you ever think about water 7 and remember how many fans (way too many fans...) completely misunderstand Usopp's character and feelings towards Merry and reduce it to "he was only attached because Kaya gave them the ship" and forget that we are explicitly told that he sees himself in Merry and also later on we found out he heard Merry say she wanted to take them further, so we KNOW just how much Usopp saw her as another nakama (I know they all did, but he SAW and heard her first) and no wonder he didnt want to just get rid of her, do you ever remember that and want to cry?
Also I get that Usopp said hurtful things, and went against the captain, but if he hadnt Merry wouldnt have been able to save them... I always feel like Zoro was too rough on Usopp but I don't know, maybe I'm misremebering because Usopp haters always use Zoro's speech to say that Usopp was in the wrong or whatever (and it drives me INSANE ooh 😤 makes my blood boil)
I should rewatch Water 7...
Also unrelated but what are Merry's official pronouns?
Oh boy do I ever think about Water 7. I’ve posted about this before but Usopp’s reasons are numerous and just build on top of each other. Not only is it because of Kaya and seeing the Merry as a crew member and seeing himself in the Merry but it also is because of his own trauma and insecurities and abandonment issues. There’s a lot there and it all exploded out in a messy argument and is just…so sad and emotional and I don’t think anyone in universe (including Usopp himself) have still even know parsed out all of that complexity yet.
I think a lot of fan reaction here is victim to the point of view of the narrative. Luffy is our protagonist and the rest of the main characters are his crew, and that means certain expectations of loyalty. He’s the boss, which means they have to follow his rules. Which, you know, is fair enough: if you want to stay, you follow the rules that the boss sets. However, I think a lot of what actually goes on here is accepted at face value and not considered further critically. While Usopp’s actions here were wrong from the perspective of the hierarchy established on the crew, as well as from a personal standpoint because of some of the things that were said, they were also right from another point of view. Usopp’s argument here was that the Merry was a crew member, as alive as any of the rest of them. And, canonically, he’s fully correct. Luffy’s argument is that the Merry can’t take them further, which is also correct. They were both right, but the communication breakdown also means they were both wrong. And Usopp got most of the blowback because of narrative perspective, and because of the fact that he is not the captain and therefore is not going to receive the same loyalty in decisions that Luffy does.
Zoro is a character that is very much a vehicle for this narrative perspective: he is a strong believer in the ship hierarchy and believes that following it to the letter is not only the morally right thing to do, but also is the only way they will survive the journey to come. Is he right? The narrative certainly seems to direct us to that. But at the end of the day it’s just a certain perspective on how things work. Usopp here went against the loyalty that Zoro holds so dearly (and to Luffy in particular) and therefore Zoro felt it was his duty to set them (and him especially) straight. But again, this is very much from the perspective I mentioned above.
I think examining it further, like I said, shows that both Usopp and Luffy were right, but went wrong in how they communicated how each felt. Luffy may be the boss, and his word may be law in the ship, but I think as the boss he has the added responsibility to deescalate and manage his crew, and communicate to them his expectations clearly. Usopp failed here to control his insecurities and succumbed to them. Luffy here failed in his capacity as a leader in communication and deescalation, especially since he most certainly does not want to be an iron fist type leader. However, I don’t think that element of Luffy’s failure is discussed enough in and out of universe, which is also why I always say that I wish the crew challenged him and his decisions more.
With regards to Merry’s pronouns, I think she/her? I’m unsure though, if anyone can confirm that.
#that all goes to the way loyalty is portrayed in one piece#but that’s a whole other conversation#one piece#op#usopp#speaks#asks#water 7#monkey d luffy#roronoa zoro
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WHY Q!BADBOYHALO IS PROBABLY FED:
SPECIAL GUEST THEORY - THE MASTERPOST
Important Information!
Hello!
This post was written in january and febuary, before the workers at Quackity Studios came out with their stories. Ever since then, i haven't been following the QSMP as a server, despite still writing a fic based on it and following the situation with the workers somewhat closely. I just can't care about it as much as i did.
Im posting this theory because it meant a lot to me at the time. I truly believed i was right, and that Badboyhalo would be the main antagonist. I even had the throry that the QSMP would end in a dispute between q!Fit (Madagio + The Rebellion) and q!BBH (Fed). I worked for such a long time gathering evidence for, organizing and writing this post that it just feels bad to keep it in.
Today (30/4/24), another ex-admin, named Elk, released a statement, that said: "There was an odd rule where main island lore was never allowed to tie into creator-specific lore, despite creators actively wanting to involve themselves with the federation and being permitted to do so and certain creators having a HUGE influence on the overall lore.".
This just erased any and all motivations i ever had to make a theory that links everything together. There was never a truly coherent story. Which makes not only this theory, but any and all theories that link the player characters to the main island lore, useless.
Being honest, i just didnt want this post to go to waste, mostly because i worked a lot on it.
For that, this post is very much not finished. Most texts are not fully written - my ideas are not as developed as i wish they were. And i apologize for this, i just dont have the energy to finish this. If you want to know my take on the QSMP lore, you can check out my fanfic.
Despite all this, I hope you all enjoy this.
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This is a compilation of all the evidence we have to support the Special Guest Theory.
I created this mainly to show people that don't have as much free time or are just dont have the energy to think about or remember all this why the Special Guest Theory does make sense.
This is a colaborative work, as I wouldnt be able to think about all this without these wonderful people: @lionheartedmusings @demodraws0606 @lxrd-ren @skullhalo @windchime-of-teeth
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Where it all started: The ARG Emails
On Feb 21, Quackity Studios posted this tweet, that had an ARG puzzle.
The "special invitation" also grasps my attention, but it might be coincidental wording.
Decyphering the puzzle, it lead to a Google Doc, that had many emails.
Among them, there was this one:
[Respectful greetings,
We are seeking quotes for the purchase of 1393 muffins to satisfy the extra demand of our special guest. For those who are not aware of the situation, it was pointed out that it is an obligation to share two muffins per person in the workspace to guarantee happy and productive work. We wish to receive your commercial proposals as soon as possible. We appreciate your commitment and effort in preparing your offers for evaluation.
Sincerely,]
So uhm... muffins right? Who could it possiblly be referencing?
I honestly can't think of no one else besides q!Badboyhalo, even outside of the qsmp, whose brand is so intrinsically connected to this little cake things.
The number is also very specific. If every worker needs 2 muffins, why is the order an odd number? That just isn't divisible equally to everyone.
-> I will make a separate post detailing what i think the 1393 could be referencing.
I want to mention here that, by the way this email is written,
q!Badboyhalo's Teaser Post
Ok, so there are a coulple things to pay attention about this post. First the muffins are a clear reference to Bad (there's no arguing here, he is the muffins guy).
Second, where it was posted; unlike all the other cc teasers ─ that were posted on @/quackity4k, quackity's alt twitter account ─ this one was posted on the official Quackity Studios account, along with the arg post that is.
-> These are the other QSMP cc teasers:
Third, its the only teaser thats accompanied by "welcome to the QSMP". All the others either include something related to the cc (like a bird emoji for Jaiden), or teasing words (closer; up next).
Fourth, the milk emoji. Its curious, and out of place. It is so odd and specific that it deserved to be discussed.
Especially considering that, coincidentally, this is what Badboyhalo responded to the QSMP teaser that i'll talk about later:
Milk is often ─ surprisingly ─ a symbol commonly used with villains in media, to symbolize various things, but mostly to cause a discomfort in the audience, as milk is associated with purity and childhood. So pairing it with ruthless and cruel villains creates an unsetteling atmosphere.
-> Some reference links: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4
The Teaser Video
-> click here to watch the video
The video starts off in a dimly lit room, with some boxes, and, most notably, a tv, a vcr player and a chair. A shadowy figure enters the room, and inserts a cassette on the player. A promotional video of Quesadilla Island starts playing. It shows the figure watching the video, and the scene is interrupted by a black screen with "20 years later" written. It ends with two other shadowy figures (Quackity and Slime, presumably) talking in the train that took the first group to our current Quesadilla.
The only thing that we can notice on this person, is a little white marking on both their left and right hand.
Some theorized it could be qFit, but he doesn't have the marking on his right hand.
Right side /// Left side
The only character, from the first group of islanders, who has a white marking on both hands is q!Badboyhalo.
And q!Badboyhalo being part of the fed in 2003 does also make sense in his lore; he's never mentioned where he was or what he was doing around the late 1990's and early 2000's.
Unlike fit, who was 13 in 2003. He was a child ─ he was only a bit older than q!Cellbit during the war.
This is, in my opinion, one of the most substantial evidences we have of q!Badboyhalo being involved in whatever the fed is doing.
The 2013 War
When qCellbit started researching the fed, as a child, he was forcefully exiled from Quesadilla, because he found out too much about what was going on. Maybe the tests on children (q!Baghera and the other deceased hybrids), as he says this on his letter to q!Bagi:
[...] I saw everything inside, they were doing all this beneath our very feet… it’s horrible, Bagi. You don’t deserve this, I don’t want you to have to live with these guys. So meet me on the other side of this ocean Bagi. I’ll be going now, I don’t care if I have to swim until [...]
-> You can check q!Cellbit's old diaries translated into english on this post
He ended up, somehow, in a war, where he, coincidentally, first met q!BBH.
q!Bad has stated he was in the war to overlook it.
Antoine's Comic
This comic was given it was given, from Cucurucho, specifically to q!Badboyhalo.
-> check this twitter clip of antoine's talk with cucurucho to see the full conversation
The Purgatory Puzzle
Codeflippa lead qBBH, qAypierre and qMaximus throughout the maze, into a white room with a red button. Before activating the button, this was shown to them:
-> Could the asterisks mean Badboy? or maybe Mr. Halo?
They pressed the button, and then recieved this book:
Via a warpstone, they were taken to another maze, this one with a puzzle and two pictures of cucurucho.
After going through some rooms, they found a small pillar, with Dapper's hat on top of it, as you can see here:
Why? Why was dapper's hat there?
If this is a foreshadowing to the fact that Dapper would always be the eggs that would be freed from purgatory, independently from the roulette, than why Dapper?
What makes Dapper special, or different from the other kids, that earned him this, and possibly his life?
The group found themselves in a circular room, with three die. These die, coincidentally, had the same colors as q!Badboyhalo and Dapper: black, red and white.
There was a chest, and in it, they recieved this books:
Badboyhalo was shortly after teleported into the middle of the room, so he could play the game.
He thew the die and got a 7.
He then was gifted this ticket:
Again, why q!Badboyhalo? What makes him different?
It can't be him being a demon, since Mouse and Tina were already on the island.
So what makes him so special that, not only theres a full puzzle dedicated to him (as evidenced by Dapper's hat, and qBad being the chosen one for the game), but he's the first person (not counting q!Bagi nor q!Carre) to get a ticket? He's the only islander that had to go through this puzzle to get it, the other ones were just teleported into the room. Not even q!Max or q!Pierre got tickets that day.
#qsmp#qsmp lore#qsmp theory#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp fit#qsmp duck#qsmp purgatory#qsmp discourse#qsmp neg#qadmin situation
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explanations under the cut
Elizabeth Afton is actually the Youngest Sibling - as @birdsareblooming pointed out, when we see her room in fnaf4, she has a torn-apart mangle toy. mangle was stated to be made to entertain toddlers. would also explain why she's not in the gameplay, she's at daycare/with her mom
The Vengeful Spirit is Michael Afton - another one where cori convinced me and I might have an entire essay that I will publish after I finally sit down and edit through the Security Logbook section but until then here's a bullet point post
Mimic = Burntrap - i dont think i have to explain this we're all talking about it i just know people are gonna be mad at me for it
The Girl in Drowning is representative of Charlie, not Cassidy - She's literally got gray skin, black hair, gray clothes, and neon green lighting, much like a certain gray-skinned black-haired pixel girl with a green bracelet who died in the rain (water motif). Her dragging Kara down because she doesn't want to be alone could be seen as a metaphor for Charlie trying to give life but instead kinda sticking them all in robots
FNAF AR had some BANGIN re-skins - come on. look at them. Clockwork Ballora? Bangin. Broiler Baby? Bangin. Catrina Toy Chica? BANGIN. Springtrap as an actual fucking clown???? BANGIN.
Vanessa is an Afton in the Gameverse, too – Cori's workin on a whole explanation diagram for this but the most BASIC evidence is "her last name starts with 'a' and she's a nepo baby." I dont think she's William's DIRECT daughter cause man died in the 90s and she was 23 in the 2030s so. grandkid or smth
If Edwin/David is a metaphor for anything it's William/CC and not Henry/Charlie – listen i understand the whole "single dad building the robots and then breaking one in a rage" thing from TSE but also the mimic likes to mimic its creator and child before all else and who is it mimicking? afton and the little boy in sb who happens to look a shitton like cc. also game!charlie is never indicated as having a special plushie that followed her everywhere but cc very certainly did and hey if mimic can grow and shrink to fit in anything whos to say it didnt shrink into the fredbear to repeat stock phrases to cc such as "tomorrow is another day." also in the character encyclopedia art of cc he is holding his fredbear plush the same way burntrap positions his arm to imitate holding something. an
They're not gonna pull the Charliebot twist again. Nobody's a secret robot – first off from a writing perspective that's not the kinda twist you do twice. second off with the... less than stellar reception to the twist in the first place i dont think theyre gonna pull it again
"Cassidy" isn't the Golden Freddy Kid's name, it's Crying Child's – the logbook has Crying Child communicate through manipulating the text, while the spirit he's talking to speaks in faint writing; the second spirit never has a confirmed identity, but CC is most definite considering the stuff referenced around him. The "ITS ME CASSIDY" is revealed through.... manipulated text. The clues are in........ manipulated text. "It's Me" is CC calling out to Michael. The other spirit says "My name is..." a couple times BUT they also ask CC if he remembers his name just a few pages before. Granted this might just be us not understanding something but also if Cassidy is CC's name then who the fuck is Golden Freddy Kid. is Michael Brooks still canon
The nightmare gas didn't "ruin the lore" it's just kinda funny – look guys literally all of this lore is fucked, the fact they just threw in "also William Afton was doing nightmare gas experiments on kidnapped kids and then abandoned it for shits and giggles" in the eighth book of their second anthology series and then moving on like nothing happened while the fanbase collapses in on itself is like THE funniest thing they could've done
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you ever think about the horrors.
indulge in my senseless rambling for a moment.
imagine youre qpierre right now. you have just learned that you are not you. at least. this body isnt you. but this consciousness is? maybe? youre not sure. you think its you. youve made your own memories. your own experiences. so you think this is you. but at some point you died. you both died. in different ways. one mentally died and one physically. but you both died. how is that possible? the past you and the "other" you both died. you are dead.
and before you knew this, you were having nightmares. you didnt know what they meant. they showed memories. they showed phonecalls. slideshows. a conversation. all these confusing things. you didnt know what they meant. and then there was this stupid, white bear just telling you to sleep more. not helping you in your haze. and then it tries to erase the dreams from you. you are imperfect? you werent perfect to begin with. whatever. what did the bear mean by "The important thing is not what the Federation did to you, but what you have done and will do for the Federation.
Great things await you."?
and now youre here. in a room you dont recognize. theres a computer. and a bed. and something (yourself?) has been telling you to remember what happened. he is telling you to ask around to your friends see if you remember anything. telling you to ask about your past. your loves. your dreams. "Et alors peut être que tu saura si ta mémoire est intact." (And then, maybe, you'll know if your memory is intact.) you dont remember ever writing this. but you follow the instructions. and you dream. as you have quite a few times now. and this dream brings you back to the start. you are learning youre both dead. but youre also alive. its confusing. is there a "you" in this equation? arent they both still alive? though only half. you dont know. you are alive.
its just. the horror of it. i cant wait to see how the character develops because. qpierre is, physically, dead. and ayr0b0t is, mentally, dead. but mentally, qpierre is still here. and physically, ayr0b0t is still here. and both of those alive aspects are combined to create the charwcter we've most recently known. thats all we know for certain.
but still there are questions. and the questions are:
when did this happen? was it on the island? or before? its implied it was on the island. the qpierre in the dream has a gegg shirt. both in the operation and in the death tape.
and why? why did the federation do this? what use do they have for frankensteining him together? placing human conscience into a robot body? was it just because they could? maybe. but the book from one of the meetings implies he has use to them.
"Great things await you."
so.. hm... so many thoughts and questions...
#SORRY THIS IS SUCH A MESSY RANT#idk where i was going i just needed to let my mind run#kekw#his lore is so interesting to me#he has 50 diseases and is the embodiment of the horrors#qsmp#qsmp aypierre#qsmpattackz#splatattackz
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Read over what was going on with anon asks and your posts, and tbh, if you are 16 and you are reaching this kind of critical thinking and actively trying to better yourself through meaningful debates and convos, you are doing god's fucking work from early. I couldn't even begin to form the kind of arguments you are articulating at your age in your posts, so fucking kudos.
I have a similar opinion of sexism being bad no matter the form it takes, patriarchy affects everyone because it imposes roles on everyone, not only women. Breaking those roles on all sides and genders should be the ultimate goal, not try to benefit from the system to become the oppressor.
In any case dude, good luck with the unavoidable influx of people who will misinterpret your posts. Also, your art is hella cool!
i think that alot of ppl just have a rlly hard time like, getting over the gut response to defend themselves when they recieve some kind of serious critisism, like, i think ppl understand on some level that sexism as a concept is stupid, but it can be hard to fully see all the nuances it takes and like, actually recognize it when its subtler
sexism is bad and when i point out that alot of you guys believe ideas that are like, really sexist then thats like, im assuming none of you are like "YEAA SEXISM RUELZZZ!!!! I HATE PEOPLE BASED ON THIER GENDOR" and u rlly rlly dont wanna be lumped into that group
its rlly normal to not wanna be mischaracterized and if you dont self identify as sexist then when someone points out sexist retoric it feels like an unfair and reductive veiw of u
and its like, you really really really need to work past that, im talking abt this stuff because i want ppl to change and be better and if you want that for yourself u have to like rlly chew on these kinds of things
i think what alot of people have issues with is like, relatability in artwork, like "of course im gonna like art with queer women in it more and find it more valueble if im a queer woman" but i think that this points to a really rigid and uphelpful veiw of gender
ive discussed before that, because the mind numbing ammount of biological differences people have theres no actual objective definition of sex or gender, its socially constructed and entirely arbitrary and subjective
i think that labels for sexuality and gender are useful shorthand in our current society though ideally we wouldnt need them, but you need to remember that these things arent rigid
butch lesbian is not a definable group, gay man is not a definable group, they are arbitrary words that mean something different for literally every different person
likewise acting like those meaningless labels somehow make some artwork more or less valueble just points to a bias against people with a certain label
like, the labels dont mean anything they shouldnt change your veiw of a work, if you resonate with a peice of work why does it matter what label is put on it? why does that affect your veiw on the peice?
and yes you are objectively going to relate to some experiences more then others, but i dont think relatability should effect how you value the work, infact id argue seeing perspectives different then your own is incredibly incredibly valueble and, if your disregarding (even subconciously) certain things because theyre made by men then that not only hurts men but it hurts you, it isolates you
maybe i didnt word that perfectly im not always the most articulate but like, i think most of the issues people are having with this are coming from me articulating things maybe not as intuatively as i could or from people refusing to properly engadge with what i have to say
idk, regarding the people accusing me of transmysogeny i just wanna say that like, I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO TALKING TO YOU ABT THIS!! i want to be better and i dont want to be mysogenistic! and if you do see concerning behavior in me i want to be told of it, you keeping these kinds of things to yourself or refusing to engadge with me when i actively am trying to be like, thourough and nuanced about things is just kinda, not productive
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opinion on Iroh living in Ba Sing Se in the comics ? :3c *bats eyelashes at Iroh meta mutual*
personally I get the political reasoning for it (he very much was well known for participating violently in the war so it'd be a pretty awkward way to start peace talks and such) but like... as an Iroh + Zuko codependency truther... hmn...
though he DOES come to the FN later in the comics to help Zuko out so its like.. did you leave him because you were terrified of making things worse ? were you convinced he didn't need you anymore and so lumbered off to BSS in self-imposed exile certain that you'd be a burden to his personal growth ? or did he just underestimate the distance .. forgot Zuko wouldn't be able to hop on a Bison all the time to visit him... driving me Krazy.
honestly. i think a horrific combination of all of these could work simultaneously. like theres political merit but also iroh might also personally somehow think him being away from zuko will benefit zuko (as if zuko didnt miraculously managing to undo his lifetime of Bad Things in less than like. A year. entirely through various methods of suffering. things that would take grown men their whole life and then some to undo, if even that. And hes like 16 and now hes a monarch and hes gonna be busting his ass everyday for the rest of his life until hes too old to stand up straight). and that yeah hed also underestimate how much being a world away from zuko actually sucks
because something i lovee highlighting in my art of them is that iroh doesnt just love his nephew, he likes his nephew. hes fond of his nephews crankiness, the hovering, the theatrics, the shouting and stomping, the awkwardness and thoughtfulness. there are probably days where iroh just cant work up the typical jovial customer service and diplomacy energy and just broods in the jasmine dragon because he keeps accidentally brewing enough tea for two, cooking enough dinner for two, calling through the house for his nephew and then remembering hes stuck cooped in the caldera, having screaming matches with his councilmen over how to deal with shit iroh and his brother and their forefathers did to scar the world not even before lunch time.
so its like. a combo of the Grand Lotus in iroh who focuses on the political merit and worldly benefits of him being in bss, the shitty ill in the dome codependent Uncle iroh who mopes over not having his prickly ass barnacle of a nephew looming over his shoulder and glaring at people all the time, the Bad At Emotions And Communicating guy in iroh that gets so ashamed of what hes willing to put his own kid through for the sake of the world that he doesnt know if he even has the stomach to visit the caldera and look his nephew in the eye as he drowns under mountains of stress dealing with irohs baggage, etc etc.
and there are also probably things zuko doesnt know about and iroh isnt sure if hed ever have the strength to tell zuko about. at the beginning of zukos joke banishment, the white lotus had been like well if you do decide to take the throne once we figure out how to take down ozai youll need an heir and if your nephew is as good deep down as you claim then maybe mold him to align with us so when you step down he could at the very least be a puppet ruler so we can ensure he doesnt start another war. and then that plan just got adjusted slightly and expanded upon once the avatar wasnt a fairy tale anymore. it hurts worse now after they had reconciled before the comet because now zuko looks at him with a loving, trusting, praising look, despite how little iroh believes he really deserves it. and worst of all he doubts theres anything he could really do to convince zuko that he doesnt deserve that because iroh would bet anything that zuko genuinely thinks hed deserve it if iroh decided he didnt want anything to do with zuko.
hes like doing these weird gymnastics where he pushes these hoity toity white lotus beliefs onto zuko despite barely even abiding by them himself , and then also knowing he doesnt deserve the blind adoration zuko has been showering him in lately. its like iroh takes all his conflicting emotions and opinions, puts them in a blender, drinks it, and then throws it all back up. i doubt theres anyway to conclude his thought process in a paragraph or less basically.
like i know a lot of people agree leaving zuko for bss retirement era is stupid and i agree but also consider the angst potential and also the white lotus is stupid and iroh is stupid and zuko isnt stupid but he also thinks iroh hung the sun and stars so its more sad on his part than anything because he cant even escape getting the short end of the stick with IROH and doesnt even know it. and it will probably stay that way. Lol!!!!!
#so in summary i think its all of the above . thank you gremkins#i had to stop myself because i could go on for like 1million more paragraphs about iroh and zukos dumbassery#weirdest best worst normalest insanest uncle nephew father son dynamic ever#they both are SO DERANGED!!!#atla#asks
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Putting a message i sent earlier under a read more, it has some thoughts ive expressed before tho. ES, of course
My thoughts as an EichiP... i view ! and !! as different stories in the way they're approached tbh, what i fell in love with enstars for was the character driven storytelling of one event seen through different perspectives, where you see the antagonist in one perspective become a protagonist in another story and can empathize with the entire cast like this. I fell in love with eichi's story of second chances, getting what you want and regretting your actions in the process, redemption, desperation, overcoming fate and asserting one's self into the story, saving a school in a dying industry that saved your life by giving you a dream; i consider it an arc fulfilling to the reader at the end of ! era. But we still had to continue... and it's not like we didnt get inklings of eichi's dreams of idol utopia, the idol soldier idea goes back to main story 1, but !! loses the charm of the original series through expanding the worldbuilding so much and shifting to a plot driven story that opens 10 cans of worms instead of offering resolutions. There's not really room to breathe if the stakes just keep getting higher and higher...
As for the colonisation plotline, it's been here since the beginning of ES2. The SS arc makes it obvious, but i remember even before, the talks about ES taking over from local businesses, trying to be seen as the standard, it was always the direction ensemble square as an institution would take. But the "antagonist in one story, protagonist in another" approach doesnt work anymore with such subjects. The guys responsible for this are your coworkers you share dorms with. I read the stories but cant empathize anymore, so i've been feeling disconnected from eichi for a while. I see enstars with eichi at its core but i didnt care for his center event, i read it, didnt like the ending, and overall felt off. Eichi becoming the villain of ! to attone for the war kind of loses significance if a year later he is a cartoon villain idol colonialist you can't even sympathize with anymore because of the magnitude of events. However i do think !! has done good things for some characters pushing them further or developing them in a way ! didnt. But for others...
I also have my issues with sci fi elements becoming the norm, even taken metaphorically or as hyperboles, when one of the central themes i love about enstars is humanity. Then again, i am a war era fan that relied on manipulating human desires and perceptions, and the fact that there were no monsters or gods, just humans framed as such, playing on people's fears and beliefs, it's a bit jarring to me to have them introduce AIs forming from escaped comatose brains (im minimizing the switch climax rn, i didnt even hate it as a whole, just this resolution im unhappy with)
It also feels like we've lost some of the meta aspects of the writing i liked, a certain awareness of being characters in a story and there being an audience. But im still struggling to word my thoughts on this matter. I felt it present in main story 2, even if it annoyed me at parts in its obviousness ("good thing we're not protagonists, no one would want to read about us" youre right aira you are not interesting to me. And yet i'll read your story to try and empathize nevertheless. I have other thoughts on aira too, perhaps for another time). I wish we explored a bit more what it means to no longer be the central protagonist, from trickstar's perspective...and brought back the successors topic. But i havent read every ts story yet so i'd be foolish to complain before really making sure i've checked everything. To me ! ended satisfyingly with room left for elaborations and imagination, but i dont feel like !!'s ending is really ending anything at all. Not necessarily bad since it's not like the game is shutting down, but overwhelming worldbuilding wise while underwhelming character wise...
Let's see... im not sure how to end this. Just a bit of a stream of consciousness as a ! fan who still loves enstars despite my critiques. Mainly, well, no one's gonna take away the stories that already exist that i do love and impacted my life greatly. And i do think !! had some really good things too it brought, or at least stories i hold dear too. Change is scary and i don't think it's always for the best, but it's also fun to see where it goes next...
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i literally have so much to say about q and toey and we are and im sitting here like AAAAA. i had to write it down.
i see people being upset about the jealousy thing and the way Q acted and how he started teasing Toey about the kiss: but it was very clear that no feelings were talked about or cemented at the amusement park. Q asked Toey if he understood Chain was hitting on him, unaware it was a ruse for him to admit feelings for Toey. he did admit those feelings, but not in a "claiming toey as his bf" way, in a "i need you to know im an option for you and my feelings are real" way. (He literally said "what if i hit on you too?" the unasked question beside that: "how would you feel about me if i did?") Q was actually giving Toey the choice to react however he wanted to when he kissed him.
Honestly it was a really good way for Q to approach the subject bc he didnt get mad at Toey OR Chain for their "potential" feelings. He was jealous but he tried to figure out how they both truly felt about each other before acting. (and Chain lied to Q and said he had feelings for Toey.) Toey didn't actually lie, I noticed. He just said Chain had been very nice to him. If Toey had given blatant confirmation that he had feelings for Chain, Q would have backed off, I'm certain of it. But instead of lying, (or admitting he actually liked Q,) Toey made it seem like he was considering Chain as a possible romantic interest, and Q heard that and chose to let Toey know that he could also be a possible romantic interest.
He gave Toey the choice to say no to the kiss. Toey kissed back. But that was not them becoming a couple! (Notice that later, Toey never said he and Q were together, only that he believed he had a chance with Q.)
I actually find it similar to what Phum and Peem are going through atm. They are not officially dating yet!!! they havent talked about that at all! theyve kissed twice, but they dont know what they are, and they are taking their time figuring it out, and there's nothing wrong with not labelling their relationship immediately.
So that's what I saw the teasing scene as. As Q being like "hey, remember that time we kissed. and you kissed back. im here as an option for you to date, are you gonna do anything about that? how does that make you feel? are we gonna talk about it? hope you figure it out soon <3"
and i dont find anything wrong with that! WHAT MADE THINGS MESSY WAS THE REVEAL OF THE RUSE.
Which was confusing because it wasn't revealed that the group had planned for chain to pretend-hit on toey. What WAS revealed was that the whole group knew that milk frappe boy was Toey, and Q didnt. That's what made Q explode so bad. Like, i think that scene was meant to be confusing, because Q kept saying "explain it to me" as well as "i dont want to hear it". I think all he really saw in the moment was his entire friend group in the know about something important to him that he'd never told them, while faced with learning Toey was the anonymous boy from his past, and had known, and had kept it from him.
Like yeah, I can imagine the kind of betrayal Q must have felt! He had just kissed Toey! And it slowly made more sense as to why Q reacted as strongly as he did bc more was revealed while Q was trying to come to terms with milk frappe boy and Toey being the same person.
Because it isnt until after the explosion that we learn Q had had it BAD for milk frappe boy. That he'd even talked to Toey about it and how bad he felt for disappearing on the mystery boy he'd liked so much. This scene was really complicated bc we were seeing it from Toey's perspective, as him learning that Q had had feelings for him and then advising Q to try and find milk frappe boy to find out the truth about his feelings, without Toey telling Q it was him all along.
But I think from Q's perspective, that scene was about trying to admit to himself that he'd made a mistake and should have done better by the anonymous boy. I think he was also trying to express that he was past it now, and trying to move on. Pairing that interpretation with the conversation between Q and Peem that was like "well this is how you felt about milk frappe boy, how do you feel about Toey?" and you get the impression Q considered his feelings for milk frappe boy a lost cause, but he was okay with that because he had found Toey, and started liking him instead.
So learning that they were the same person was really complicated for him! Q's got a lot to work through! a lot of conversations and interactions to reframe in his mind. And of course he's hurt that Toey never told him who he was, but what made that hurt more was learning Toey had told the rest of the group first.
I think that's also what's beating Toey up the most - that his real feelings for Q had turned into a real lie, by choosing to play along with the ruse their friends invented. He was someone who, before, was always content to give Q space and just be near him, so manipulating his feelings the way that they all did, and Q discovering his identity as milk frappe boy in the midst of that ruse is something I don't think Toey ever imagined or wanted to happen - that he was and would have been willing to let things unfold naturally - even admit to his identity later if there'd been a more honest chance for it.
#qtoey#we are the series#q x toey#long post#DONT ASK WHY I WROTE SO MUCH ABOUT THIS CUZ IDK#actually the worst part about this Whole Thing was the editors deciding to cut in the MIDDLE of their reconciliation conversation#THEY WERE STILL TALKING THERE
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aita for yelling at my friend?
this ones a long one.
bg info
so we're both 15, and he's done this thing a couple times where he'll create a new groupchat and exclude certain people who he's not as close to.
to me, this is mean, and i've spoken to him calmly about it before but he kinda just brushes it off and says he's just including close friends.
its also relevant that previously i may have enabled him. like, theres a girl neither of us like and we'd make fun of her sometimes, though not to her face, which is probably worse. i'm trying to be nicer to her but i dont get along with her very well.
on top of that, the origin of the gc we use now is that there was a bigger one and he told me "i just don't feel comfortable with some of these people". so i created a new group chat and let him pick who got added, with the agreement that we'd have to come to an agreement before adding more ppl, just for the sake of everyones comfort.
not sure if this is actually relevant or if im just salty but he doesn't spend time with the people in the gc at school, he sits with a group of juniors n seniors for lunchtimes and only comes around every so often. not sure if he's just spending one-on-one time with everyone or if he's actually not hanging out with us anymore.
into the actual inciting incident
today, we were talking about the groupchat to a friend we'd made recently and added today. he offhandedly mentioned one of the smaller groupchats he'd made for closer friends, and how no one had used it. i got really mad about how casual he was about something i thought was mean of him to do, so i told him something like "i just think that it's a rude thing to do."
and he said something like "well im just including our close friends", we kept going like this for a bit, and I yelled at him "why are the only people that matter the ones YOU like?" and there was more of a kerfuffle i don't remember, but i did in fact cry (self-provoked, he didnt say anything). i apologized for being so dramatic, and he left. it was class time so i left too, and my sister drives me and she had work so i left school really fast.
we have a little routine where we watch a show together on call though and he said yes when i asked about that. after asking him abt our show, i texted him n apologized for yelling at him n asked to talk but i said that i still thought that the way he treats people kinda sucks. no response.
what people irl said
like one person said that i was brave? and that they shoulve said something. the girl we added didnt say anything, and my other friend asked if i was okay after it was all over
why i might be an asshole
i think im being kinda on a moral high-horse when ive enabled and even kinda participated in this behavior before and ofc, yelling was very much an overreaction on my part
additionally, its not exactly a choice to not get along with some people?
why he might be an asshole
excluding people on purpose and ignoring my attempts to talk things out.
with the bias filter on, this behavior is pretty self-centered, because he doesn't hang out with us much at all, and he's never very invested in any of our interests or issues, but he still gets to dictate who gets to be in the "close friends" group chat?
for any advice
i really don't want to drop him as a friend, not just because i like spending time with him, which is most of it. the other part of it is that im really scared of what will happen if he gets mad at me, because i don't want to break up the friendgroup into people taking sides, and to a lesser extent im scared that if that does happen no one will take my side in that conflict. it just doesn't seem worth it to get into a blowout with him about this when i don't want to lose anyone.
thanks for reading all that, this is mostly just to organize my thoughts. render moral judgement at will.
What are these acronyms?
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YGESSSSS. NEW BSB ENJOYER FOUND. who is your favorite character if i may ask... i have like atleast 5 but kai is at the top i think. sometimes i think about this image and i'm like "my god what the fuck even is that". one of the guys of all time
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT” LMFAOOO no because thats exactly what my friend said when they saw yuriy KEDBJSBSGWJW. What is. Wrong with his eyebrows....looking like a creature…a bug with antannae perhaps….
BUT MY FAVORITE IS MAX‼️‼️‼️hes been my fav ever since i started watching it love him… my second favorite is kai probably though LOL. I can tell hes one of those fan favorite characters right🤔usually characters like him are… not a bad thing just an observation lol. Metal fight beyblade was the beyblade show i had known my entire life and was a big fan of so i wanted to see the other beyblade shows with it and for some reason i watched beyblade burst before bakuten shoot ????? Yeah that 7 season show i only liked the very first season of… the rest was so boring and for some reason i forced myself to watch it by using it as background noise😭
idk why i didnt give up and watch bakuten instead, took me too long lmfao. Th reason why i mentioned metal fight is that since i knew that show my entire life i had certain expectations on certain type of characters (ik bakuten came first but metal couldve been influenced by it and it was bcs there are similarities lol) (i mean king [from bakuten] looks almost identical to dynamis [from mfb] <- thats just one example) so i thought, while i was watching season 1, Kai Hiwatari was gonna be like Kyouya Tategami where hes with the team yes but doesnt see himself as a part of it and is there for himself only bcs hes a loner or whatever but then that thing at the end of the season happened he became a part of the team and the didnt have random unnecessary off screen character regression like kyouya did in the next 2 seasons (and also isnt an asshole abt it like when he left temporarily to battle takao in g revulotion he wasnt like “fuck you dumbass” like kyouya did basically 😭😭)….
That was so refreshing to see bcs thats not what i was expecting and thank god it exceeded my expectations 😭 thats why i keep saying kai is kyouya done right bcs he kinda is…. Though i find it funny when hes just standing in the background w his arms crossed or laying on the grass like damn bro wants to be cool so bad (not as cool as the frame of rei kon absolutely BALLING)
Said max is my favorite and talked about kai the entire time LOL no but he’s my fav i love that guy EXCEPT. the fact that. He likes mayonnaise… idgaf if its ur style mayonnaise is disgusting im disappointed in you max…..
I also like Yuriy who also seems to be a fan favorite from what ive seen which i expected but i like him in a way like, hes so funny to me. Bro walkin around with bug antannae and the worst posture youve ever seen. Why is he built like that. Fucking thing. Also big fan of the weird ass sht he does in g revulotion when doing special moves hes got CLAWS hell yeah. No bcs no one elses looks like dat when they do it⬇️ as a certified creature fan i can proudly confirm this, indeed, is one of the creature moments of all time.
⬆️i remember seeing this frame before watching the show and thinking what could possibly be the context behind this LMFAO . Shoutout to Rei kon for also being a creature big fan of the pointy ears and slit orange eyes (v force when i catch you v force)
I dont know peoples opinions of daichi but he seems like the type of character ppl might hate for being annoying but i like him bcs he reminds me of me and my brother when we were little (im the younger sibling) bcs every interaction between takao and daichi reminded me of us LMFAO 10/10 sibling dynamic (better than takaos actual brotha😬)
N lemme see if i have any kai screenies i took cauze i took a sht tonna screenshots
I was gonna capriin thwm but idk how to write inbetween them so im typing them here
First pic - already has a caption
Second pic - ths shit makes me laugh everytime im so glad people are not hesitant to resort to violence in this saga
Third pic - V force jumpscare
Fourth pic - what is he listening to . Do you guys think Kai Hiwatari would like Yuno Miles
Fifth pic - one…..one piece…..
Sixth pic - they forgot to colour teh pack of his hair lol
Seventh pic - no need for a caption. What is that
Last pic - he. Smirks like an animal. Idk how to explain it but, he smiles like how an animal or an ailen trying to do it for the first time would do it
I will read the manga soon i have physical copies of the first 4 volumes and ill find the rest on the net bcs bakuten media is so much easier to find that mfb is THANK GOD. I will also be looking up shitty 13 yr old amv s and yall better have sum real 2011 sht
#beyblade#bakuten shoot beyblade#bakuten shoot#beyblade bakuten shoot#g revulotion#beyblade g revulotion#g revulotion beyblade#v force beyblade#v force#beyblade v force#bsb#kai hiwatari#max mizuhara#max tate#yuriy ivanov#tala valkov
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