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heavenswereabell · 9 months

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I want to cry just thinking about the potential you hold in my life. It's been only a month but it feels like the most I've ever had. My four months with her has nothing on you. I don't know if I've ever been liked this much before, or cared for in a way I recognise as my own. I'm only now discovering that it's not unreasonable to ask for that, a love I know and want.

#general musings #wlw #lesbian #yearning #new relationships

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thetimewehave · 6 months

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When a beautiful boy comes calling

When a beautiful boy comes calling, you won’t be ready. It all still feels so raw.

When a beautiful boy wants you, you feel the butterflies swell. You’ll squash them down and you’ll see past them into his eyes.

When a beautiful boy messages you, you open it fast. You will take it as face value, but it excites you nonetheless.

When a beautiful boy takes you in his arms, you won’t understand how you feel so safe. Or how it feels so dangerous to like it.

When a beautiful boy is in your bed, you understand what it’s supposed to be like. You see the worship you feel for your own body reflected in his eyes.

When a beautiful boy makes plans for the future, you try not to get stuck in the past. Or the future for that matter. You will stay firmly in the present this time.

When a beautiful boy disappoints you, you will not be surprised. He may not, but it’s better to know that beautiful boys can whether they mean to or not.

When a beautiful boy comes into your life, he may stay. He may go. It may hurt or take the weight you thought was butterflies from your chest.

When a beautiful boy comes calling, remember that you were okay before him and you will be okay after him.

And when a beautiful boy comes calling and means it, there’s no rush.

#beautiful boys #life #dating #heartbreak #love #new #new relationships #boys #poetry #time #moving on #loving yourself #butterflies

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bildungsromanx · 9 months

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My boyfriend's girlfriend, me

July 29th

Can being in love induce a psychosis?

Welcome to my 10 year long performance piece. Were I talk about everything (I/everyone) (you/me) we once were. All the things we became in this tragedy of human beings. We became socially aware, we became a licensed emotional support animal owner/ we became one with nature/one with Jesus/ and one with the animals/we ate animals/we stopped eating them for a month and swore it was for them and not to brag about at a party/ We ate apples from trees/we swore to our teacher/ we tried improv/ we tried salsa/ we once trained another employee

We will do this for ten years.

Why the urge to hurt myself?

Punch my thighs, purge on love

Slap my face, self-mutilation as a form of love

Rope burn as a chance for humble advice

Every morning there is blood out my uterus, I cannot control

The next day my bank account is changed

And I prowl, CVS aisles and gasoline stations

The reverse is true. When you’re broke you still love spending

Today the boys in class made bracelets, spinning yarn.

One boy flipping through teenage sensations trash magazines, a crossword puzzle with a photo of Demi Lovato

Another boy blushing and gushing with embarrassment and pride at our praise

“RGB” “simple, beautiful” “When you get out of here, I want you to get butcher paper and draw on it exactly like you did here. Make it larger”

Boys are taught to do things larger.

When does a woman become invisible?

Before or after she can understand herself before a mirror?

Why do we feel deceptive?

Self-involved

See: Kayne West is entertaining but Britney Spears is a tragedy

My epiphany of the day is to be there.

To be a tragedy, if that is what the human experience is. If it’s to be a tragedy, then I’ll be flawed, narcissistic, self-involved, impractical, greedy, pretentious, egotistical, and brazen.

The cost of hiding it all is high.

Can being in love induce a psychosis?

August 2nd

Maybe I should lean more into this side: this side = the side that calls you baby. The part of me that hangs out with your friends talking about conspiracy, celebrities, and the news about some man getting bit by a shark down in the keys. The side of me that shows my parents a photo of a bimbofied woman with basketballs for boobs and bowling balls for ass. We then talk about the body. Protecting your body. The side that lays in bed saying, not thinking. Out loud in the void “I want a skirt” and tells my sister “I’m hungry” “I need new clothes” The nothing about nothing. That gives into the absolutely insignificant material world. To find out that there is significance. The shoes that look like bandaids. And giggling about boys who date older women. That cares about love, love and getting flirty. I could learn a few things from those boys. But again, these things don’t come naturally. Talk about cookie dough like its the next big thing. Revealing our fears through text like its nothing. In the last few moments, I’d like to talk about the weather with you. When we both know there’s more. We’re coy, allusive, and indirect. At least thats how it seems. That’s how I want it with you.

A project as big as inviting strangers into your hotel room, a red room white orange lights on either side of the bed. A stranger in the middle. You get up to sit in your corner a tripod and a camera you had since 20, on and unfocused. You show the camera what it’s like to focus on this new patch of color and onto his chest. Then you give him a run down. Just be natural. Pretend you’re explaining it to your older self, your younger self but explain it to you. Breathe right now. You don’t have to address the camera. Be as throughly and as detailed as possible. You begin a countdown. And then the timbre of his voice begins. Human behavior. Relationships with lovers, friends, and mothers. You are engrossed with the twitch on his lip and the yanking of his head as he speaks “I made love once or twice in my life”

A project as bold as that.

#journal #thisweek #virgina woolf #new relationships #clarice lispector

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orionsangel86 · 2 years

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#seeing prequel meta on my dash in 2022 #i want to cry #dont do it to yourselves guys #like i understand you so much i do #i totally get the compulsion #the need to fall back into old habits #to speculate and to HOPE most of all that theyll fix it #but you guys #this is the same abusive relationship that we were all in for 15 years #its promising you all the things you wanted #tempting you to go back to it #but you gotta stand your ground here #you have new fandoms #new relationships #shows and creatives that treat you GOOD now #that actually respect your beautiful little queer selves #please dont die on the winchester hill #whatever promises they make #it wont change the suffering we all went through together #its still the same cw executives #the same higher ups #and jackles may try his best #but come on you really think they are gonna give us what we really want?#after everything?#i respect your faith #but i have none

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featherless-falling · 2 years

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You know tropes I love? Starting chapters with characters waking up! Meeting new people at the grocery store, at the library and coffee shop. New relationships budding from coworkers to something more because you saw what a great team you made! I love mundane shit! I love romanticizing it!

#writing #tropes #writing tropes #cliché #cliche #characters #fictional characters #waking up #new relationships #cute #coworkers #relationships #mundane #I love the mundane #romantic #romanticize your life #studio gibli aesthetic

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 9 months

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i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice

#jeeves and wooster #i want to watch tumblr go rabid i want to watch ao3 overflow with jeeves/wooster fanfiction #yes obviously the fandom EXISTS but it's a cozy little neighborhood #a handful of talented artists and writers doing their best to keep their charming little village going #but i'm tired of cozy i want this fandom TRENDING #I WANT TO SEE THIS ON MY DASHBOARD PEOPLE #i swear to you if they made a shiny new tv series tumblr would absolutely obsess over these characters. good omens levels of obsession #it's just such a great dynamic! the good-natured overly-trusting bumbling idiot in constant need of rescuing!#the stoic all-knowing genius who quietly masterminds mayhem in order to protect this one moron he's devoted himself to for some reason #jeeves as a morosexual is just such a beautiful interpretation of the original text #wooster as a happy-go-lucky himbo who stumbles his way into a relationship with a protective caring and supremely competent mastermind #the angst and social complexities of a same-sex cross-class relationship in turn-of-the century london!#oh AND half the stories are about jeeves helping wooster get out of engagements/desperately avoid marriage #two men who live together constantly scheming to maintain their bachelorhood. this is quite literally the main plot point #the gay subtext is there! the gay subtext is there and very ripe for picking!!!#this thing is LOCKED AND LOADED we can pounce literally any time

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pjharvey · 2 months

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i found out recently that the guy who invented love languages was a sexist conservative who basically did it so he could tell his wife "see, your love language is acts of service so you can keep doing all the dishes, and my love language is physical touch so i just show love by having sex with you" men are lame as fuck!!!

#like he literally invented a whole new pseudoscience to justify gender roles and unequal relationships lmao

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duckytree · 2 months

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big brother part 1

#new series #teenage dirtbag dick grayson #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #part 1 #comic #dc #batman #batbros #art #fanart #duckytree #this is an au where their relationship is a bit better than in my main series #main series jason and dick fought way more #big brother series

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heavenswereabell · 9 months

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I have so much to say but I don't even have anything left to say. She actually cares about me and I also like her and she makes me laugh and is so beautiful and I feel electric when I'm near her. I really hope it doesn't end before it begins but she keeps reassuring me. I don't want to ruin it by my worrying. Maybe I should just let the universe give me things, I think it knows what it's doing here.

#manifesting?#maybe I should manifest more money #wlw #lesbian #sapphic #late night musings #new relationships

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jedi-starbird · 2 months

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Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.

#alpha obi wan and cody are so powerful together they could win the war or start an entirely new one. who knows :)#i fully think 17 awakens the feral cat part of obi wan thats been dormant since qui gon died and he had to become a responsible brotherdad #like at last someone to scruff him by the neck and call him stupid its very familiar to obi wan it brings back memories #fully on my 'obi wan has the weirdest relationship dynamics ever' agenda #obi wan is a lying liar who loves lying and the biggest lie is that he's the only normal well-adjusted one here. no. he is SO deeply strang #obi wan kenobi #star wars #alpha 17 #commander cody

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fandomestuff · 1 year

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months

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Bonus 8: How met your mother (CSSR design by @qourmet!)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #cangse sanren #wei changze #jiang fengmian #It was important to me that WCZ had the hereditary mole. I will die on this hill.#I have been *waiting* for the day to finally arrive when I could finally make this comic. It's been marinating for months.#My mission is to redraw all of qour's character designs one day. They are just *that* good.#CSSR has the vibes of a wandering menace who shows up in towns like a stray cat arriving at a new doorstep for treats. 10/10.#While YZY strongly leads us to believe that JFM was in love with CSSR and that's his whole motivation behind taking wwx in-#-I do think this is (once again) rumour being presented as reality. It's the juicer story to tell after all.#It is still possible that he did love her! But I think that story undercuts the relationship he also had with WCZ.#Yall ever think about how JC and WWX parallel their fathers? How Wei Changze also left the Jiang Leader's side? I do.#Unlike JC though It is far more hilarious and plausible to imagine JFM begging to be CSSR and WCZ's third. You know he would.#My wild headcanon is that JFM and YZY are in a mlm and wlw arranged marriage situation. Deeply unhappy as partners. Better as friends.#they care for each other and I'll admit that there is a beautiful tragedy in them having romantic feelings for each other the whole time.#But I am also here for the gaffs. Let them be unfulfilled homosexuals together.#Meanwhile cssr and wcz are having incredible hetrosexual sex in a bisexual way that WILL leave him pregnant by the end of it.

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0booboozefool0 · 9 months

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#trigun #vash the stampede #vash #trigun knives #millions knives #angel #artists on tumblr #trying out (once again) a new way of coloring #this is NOT PLANCEST/INCEST/SHIPPING ty #I just think their relationship in the og trigun is very interesting #knives clearly cares about vash #but in the worse fucked up way #boy is lonely and doesn’t understand why his brother doesn’t want to hang out just with him smh #anyways I just wanted to try out drawing wings and they were the perfect excuse #my doodled doodle

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acarillustrated · 6 months

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thinking about mizu from blue eye samurai. thinking. thinking so much. thinking about how mizu operates outside of gender. like we joke about her gender being revenge but straight up? it literally is. like she grew up as a boy and is most comfortable being a man, but behind that is the feeling of betraying himself because he isn't being honest about who he is and he lives in fear of being discovered. and when he lived as a woman, she found joy there as well. she fell in love, and though she wasn't good at it, she liked being a wife and enjoying a simple life. but in that life too, she isn't being honest about who she is. and when she reveals her true self, it's not a woman, she's a demon, a weapon. she's to masculine to be a woman, and too feminine to be a man. ultimately, mizu is most comfortable when they are being a murder machine. that's when they feel they are being the most true to themself. like a sword, they are neither man nor woman, but a blend of both, which makes them stronger.

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