I currently just feel so overwhelmed by cleaning

Does anyone have any ADHD cleaning tips?

Rant below

I have no clue on how to fix this but I'm sick of having no space and being treated by my parents like I'm a slob

You know even though they never bothered to teach me how to clean, how they clean is based on their dopamine "time to do this task now" and how I've never lived in a clean house my whole

I just feel so frustrated

Currently my brain thinks that if I get storage (because I do not, and it resulted in me just having shit everywhere)

I just feel so frustrated and it's keeping me awake and I just want to sleep and not think about this

Ugggh

If y’all don’t have Reddit, please don’t get it. Just got into a back and forth with someone about RB.

This is ridiculous-

Comet and Star

a negative and positive vent

Bullshit liar. Bullshit liar. Bullshit liar. Bullshit liar. Everything you told me were lies, you left me to FUCKING die.

that relatable moment when your ex friend ruins a character or a show so much for you you can't be comfortable with watching scenes of said character because it reminds you of them

Shoutout to my dad who seems absolutely hellbent on making sure I never talk to him again as soon as I can cut him off. christ.

Back when I ended up in the hospital for a minor injury in early may both my parents told me not to worry about the bill and they'd handle it. So I did that. I let them handle it. I did what they asked to set things up and let them handle it, especially because I lost my ability to work at the end of the month.

turns out my dad had no intention of even looking at the bills. he hasnt done anything with them. im so. frustrated. he said "no one told him" (im positive this isnt true).

this isnt asking for help or anything its. fine. my mum and i are sorting it out and i got this. im just so beyond stressed now lol. its not a big bill, my parents are still gonna help now that my mum has scolded him, ill have to pay the rest myself but i dont think its very much im just stressed over the lack of control.

and he keeps doing little things that make me so mad too. not calling me his kid for some reason anymore. accusing me of being "difficult" because im asking questions. not saying goodbye or i love you to me when he leaves for week long trips but very loudly doing so to my brothers in front of me. and then hes constantly putting me in positions where i have to depend on him, because he controls so much of my life, and then throwing me under the bus anyways because he doesnt do it because he cares.

Sometimes i have overwhelming thoughts about how i am on the wrong track with my entire life but there is also the possibilty that me from a month or two ago would have been proud of me for whatever i did that day , i try to imagine that , and it has to be enough

I'm really sorry for the message i sent yesterday. It was uncalled for, and not okay for me to send to you.

My immediate response to seeing your reply was "oh, no! Mitten sent that, no! That was bad of her, i don't know why she thought she needed to say that. Even in her distress and confusion she acknowledged that you would be triggered and sent it thinking it would be okay, because you 'cared more about our wellbeing than your triggers'." That's not at all how it works. That is a pretty awful way to try to excuse myself, and me apologizing repeatedly doesn't fix it, or the fact that we do this often. But i need to be sure my message comes across.

It shouldn't have been sent, and i should be able to recognize what's okay to come to you with, but i don't. I cannot tell what's okay to share. I don't know how to approach either of you or anyone else anyway, and it's simply worsened by my overall nature. I believe everything that makes me, Me, is one of your major triggers. My male identity, my transition, my inner and past relationships, and my personal use of drugs. Regardless of why i use them, which is entirely to soothe trauma and body issues, it's not okay to mention it to you. I've tried really really hard to suppress it, a lot of things about myself, and i still break that a lot. I still do things and say things that i know are unacceptable and i do apologize for acting careless. Despite proof, i do care. I care so much that i don't approach with anything anymore.

In fact it's why I've been so distant. I miss you, so so much, but I'm tired of hurting you, and you're busy with yourself and your other partners. Which is fine, and i should be better and more understanding about it.

The fact that i have felt so lonely lately is entirely my fault, and i never expect anything from you. Ever. I never need you to give more than you have, and you haven't had anything much for me except my needs(food, very good food im so grateful for. A wonderful beautiful home, which I cannot praise and express enough gratitude over. Other related things). I do not want you to feel like i demand anything from you, ever. But i am lonely. And i do miss you, but that's also in part why i pulled away. It was too much, i craved too much. And I'm so sorry for the times I've hurt you in the month I've been here. I've had plenty of time to do it repeatedly, nothing like the individual weeks i spent up here. The one night i spent that one time (because I'm an idiot. Im still sorry for that.) The amount that I've triggered you heavily outweighs any positive experiences we've had together and i cannot express how sorry i am. I am not supposed to be that for you. It isn't okay.

I need to be better but I'm just not. I do not know how to solve it. I cannot look you in the face, i haven't been able to for a while now. Everything hurts, and i do not need you to feel guilt for any of it. I just want closure, clarification i suppose. I want to propose solutions. Maybe i stay sleeping on the couch, so you don't accidentally touch me while i cuddle your husband. So you don't have to be afraid of me, or hurt anymore. Or see me, infesting your sacred spaces. I can be assigned more chores, and i can take better care of them while you and him do the actual work, instead of always being asleep when you get home. I can get rid of more of my things, so you're less reminded of how invasive my presence has been.

There is never a good time for any of this, and i don't know what to do or think anymore. I'm sorry the way i am is so hard for you, and im sorry you decided to choose me before you seemed to realize how bad i actually was. How triggering and upsetting my way of life and existence genuinely always seems to be for you.

This is not me seeking sympathy, it is a massive apology and an urge to just. Let me know how i can alleviate it before things get so much worse. I don't want to see you feel bad, especially about any of this. I cannot keep pulling you down. You fight so hard just to stay standing and breathing to no rest. You deserve so much better.

I'm not improving, and it could be my fault and i don't look like it, but im fighting to get better. I want to fight for you, but if it would be better, i can stay further away.

Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.

Edit: If everyone could please take a minute and think about what it must feel like to be struggling and then have multiple strangers say to your face that they find the prospect of going through what you're going through so horrifying that they'd rather kill themselves and then stop leaving comments like that I would greatly appreciate it.

.

Some friends you don't reconnect with or have a moment of understanding even if you don't stay friends

Some friends you have a fight and you never get to talk to again

All those moments where you told each other your darkest secrets are just tinged grey

And there's no release of tension like in bride wars

Honestly I would have rathered having a fight like they did than being friends again

But we wont

And I'll miss her dearly

errmmm.. guys help? i am a bit stuck here

girl forgets that queerplatonic attraction is a thing and that he has experienced it before more at 11

love me . i might be annoying, useless, stupid and who else fucking knows but please, please never leave me. love me only. i hate myself, but love me. i might be a fucking asshole, i dont mind how you treat me as long as you dont leave me. you're the only hope in my life. maybe. even tho i could just kill myself anytime, im close to doing that anyways. but love me either way. forever be my friend.

if you feel lonely i could be lonely with you tell me baby why do you seem so blue?

why are we so complicated? maybe love is overrated

im tired of waiting, i was never good at sports save the games for the girls on the tennis court say you need me, but lately, you feel unsure come on to me, come on to me, i need more,

if you feel broken promise i wont break your heart if you shatter, i wont let you fall apart

why are we so complicated? loves a word ive always hated

im tired of waiting, i was never good at sports save the games for the girls on the tennis court say you need me, but lately, you feel unsure come on to me, come on to me, i need more,

it always feels like i need more jesus christ, youre so confusing if we keep score bet my money that I'm losing.