#need to make these into animatics (i will cry while making them)
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just gonna leave these right here:
Dapper -> BBH - "hedonic treadmill" by KevinKempt
Pomme -> Baghera - "Class of 2013" by Mitski
Tina -> Empanada - "No More Birthdays" by Sophie May
#totally haven't been crying my eyes for the past couple hours noooooo...#need to make these into animatics (i will cry while making them)#putting this on the list of things to draw#qsmp#qsmp dapper#qsmp pomme#qsmp empanada#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp baghera#qsmp tinakitten#qsmp tina#fs qsmp headcanons
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So I DID watch the epilogue animatic yesterday and my first thought "Nora pls, it's been like 30 seconds don't make me cry."
No but really just off the top of my head: I love that it gives us a snippet into the individual mindsets of the Vacuo group. I saw someone point out that they're all a different stage of grief and I LOVE that.
Oscar and Ozpin both fighting the merge? Ren's semblance letting him pick up on everyone's emotional state while also dealing with his own? Nora's clearly doing her best to hold herself together despite definitely struggling to do so? Whitely refusing to hide his identity? Qrow shifting from being the most pessimistic of them all to the most optimistic?
Idk I feel like i need to rewatch it if i really want to ramble my thoughts about it but the tl;dr is I really hope volume 10 happens someday so I can see it animated
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Bungou Stray Dogs Osamu Dazai Animatic Idea.
Song: Fireflies
Artist: Owl City
Basically this is an idea dump for an animatic I know I'll never make. If anyone gets inspired from this pls tag me.
So you probably know, how I CANNOT draw to save my life, and have very little experience in animation. Yeah, well I still have ideas for animatics so reluctantly, (but also eager for all the artist on here to see it) I'm going to share this really crusty animatic plan I made for a Dazai animatic with the song fire flies by owl city.
Like I said, I can't draw, so I made this using google slides (my trusty compainion) and horrid clip art so pls exuse it. It's just for general lay out and some notes about motion. Also when making it, I didn't intend to have lyrics displayed on screen, but I did put them for reference.
Because I can't draw but I wanted to make an animatic, I give you this really specifc break down of one instead. I just really thought that the somg fireflies was perfect for Dazai so I made this crappy thing. Here you go!
Don't quetsion the flowers. I just put them tehre because I fiund them while searching for other stock iamges/clipart and though that they were pretty. The title slide is prettyu much just for funsies and not part of the mian animatic.
ONE
So the basic idea of this one is the bed is in greater focus. He's laying awake, his arm handing off the side, with a bottle of pills spilt out onto the floor (from a failed Dazai typcial su!c!de attempt) Some fireflies flutter up in the top right corner of the room, maybe by a small high up window. There's a nightsand on the right side. The gardient has nothing to do with colour pallet, I just wanted to amke a gradient. Lol
TWO
The door stock image is a little fancy, but I couldn't find a regualr door fpr some reason, idk. Pretty mush he's wlaking to the door, maybe Dazai's hand is reaching for the knob.
THREE
This one is arugaubly the most complicated. Yes, I know the detail is going crazy with this clipart(sarcastic). Here's the note I put, inse it's too small. (He’s walking outside from inside. Going onto the lawn. Show him walking through the door. Show side of house with window w/ curtains to indicate, maybe wood siding. Def show grass and fireflies hovering outside of door. He’s crying a little bit.)
FOUR
He's standing in the middle of a field surrounded by many fireflies, looking around in awe, still teary.
FIVE
Farily simple. Somehow or another he's in space (hey, it's artistic license) He's standing on top of Earth and Earth is spinning underneath him. Starts blink/twinkle.
SIX
He's lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling. The fireflies have folowed him inside somehow. They give the mostly dark room a soft glow.
SEVEN
Fireflies surrounding Dazai and some lading on his shoulders and maybe hair. (The arms on the clipart manare so messed up because the fireflies are on a white not transparent background but it's hard to tell because the slide is also white.)
EIGHT
He’s dancing kind of, no specific moves needed, just enough to give the impression. Maybe twirling, idk. Fireflies follow his movements, drifting up and down and side to side with him. They move a little before he does, appearing to guide him.
NINE
A kitsune jumping over Dazai's bed. I imagined it looking like the full fox form of him in that one Kitsune Mayoi card. (https://images.app.goo.gl/atvjvAELR2ec1eBv9)
TEN
He's laying under his bed staring upwards. Idk thsi scene is weird, I know.
ELEVEN
He's on his tippy toes recahing up twoards a disco ball suspended from the ceiling by a noose.
TWLEVE
This scene again
THIRTEEN
This one again
FOURTEEN
Yay a new scene after the repeats! It's the front door again from the inside veiw. It's cracked open and there's light comming from within the house, fireflies fly out and back into the night.
FIFTEEN
This scene to me is about his guilt. He's now sititng up in bed and there's a thought bubble with the logo of the sheep.
SIXTEEN
Ofc it wouldn't be a true Dazai animatic without his bestie! Oda cameo, yay! Here he's standing over Oda's grave, not crying but looking very sad.
SEVENTEEN
I don't think i need to explain this one very much lol. I couldn't find a way to show this with images so I jsut wrote it out. Reminescent of this scene (https://www.reddit.com/r/BungouStrayDogs/comments/u57xqv/what_does_this_scene_in_the_opening_symbolize/) But with Dazia and Oda instead of Dazai and Chuuya.
EIGHTEEN
He's getting dreams of the dead apple dragon and vampire chuuya.
NINETEEN
Zooms into his nightsand to show a jar glwoing and full of 7 fireflies
TWENTY
Yup, this one is back again.
TWENTY ONE
And this one
TWENTY TWO
and this one again
TWNTY THREE (last one)
The differne between this one and the otehr's liek it are that in this last scene he finnaly falls asleep. Slowly the fireflies fade out.
Thanks you so much for reading this far down the post of just my nonsense. Pls have an amazing day!
#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bsd animation#bsd animatic#bsd amv#bsd mv#bsd fmv#bsd dazai#bsd dazai osamu#dazai osamu#bsd osamu dazai#dazai osamu bsd#osamu dazai bsd#dazai#dazai bsd#dazaibsd#bungo stray dogs dazai#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai bungou stray dogs#dazai bungo stray dogs
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Honestly episode 4 wasn’t too bad, and this coming from someone whose been SA. surprised Ralph isn’t credited as a writer some this pretty much is just there fan comics and Valentino animatics, like viv stole all their ideas lol.
introducing Valentino is episode 2 was a bad idea because he’s voice performance is the absolute worst, they stepped it up in episode 4 by not giving him many lines and putting a voice filter on him. The stuff with Husk was ok, I can’t see them as a ship I just see them as the friend Angel needs and not a boyfriend, I didn’t think they’d drop his backstory so soon into the show and honestly I’ve seen fans do better lol
Loser baby is a nice song but not something you’d sing for someone whose been SA and is on a self destructive path. it’s a song that should’ve been saved for Charlie and Husk. Poison was definitely voyeuristic like if they wanted to show the mental effect it has on Angel they could’ve showed the aftermath of him beat up, crying just having a full blown panic attack like they did with addict. Idk why they villanious and disrespect sex work so much lol it’s painted as a negative and something to be shameful about,
Animation was really good, just these designs are so ugly
that's fair. i've seen some saying it's absolutely god-awful, while others have said it was good, or it was ok and they can see the potential / the aim but the execution missed the mark, etc.
idk if i'll be able to watch it anytime soon, lots of what i've seen has left such a rotten taste in my mouth/stomach that i'll have to give myself a few days or weeks before i attempt it.
they...put a voice filter...on Valentino...? what kind of filter?? what??? i can also understand seeing Husk and Angel more as friends than boyfriends. even tho i haven't seen the episode, the bits and pieces that've come across my feed have given me that same impression.
for Loser Baby i haven't heard it but i got the same impression you did, and the concept of it being a Husk and Charlie song sounds like a *much* better and more fitting idea. Loser Baby *felt* like it was attempting to do a "this sucks so make the best of it" or "you'll only be seen as trash so embrace it" empowerment thing but all i've seen and heard it seems to feel more "it won't get better so don't try" or smth like that.
i just caught Poison on my feed w/o the music and it was rough. i def agree with you that if it'd been more like Addict it would've been better, but this felt very "sex sells" and i don't think that's the right "rise" to attempt to get out of your audience when touching on SA, it felt more like...i feel like there's term for it i'm forgetting but it's like a type of masochistic/pity fetish where the narrative attempts to get the viewer sexually invested in a tragic character if that makes sense? idk how to explain it, i'll make a follow-up post if it comes back to me.
animation was fine from what i saw, seemed to be the most consistent (so far) but it still suffered from the quick / constant unnecessary and jarring camera shifting the rest of the show suffers from imo.
ty for sharing your thoughts!
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I found myself listening to an 1870s war song called La Strasbourgeoise (which I found, funnily enough, through a Hetalia animatic a few years ago). The meaning manages to be so revanchist yet so anti-war at the same time... I need to share my thoughts here.
A little summary of the song:
We see a little girl asking her father why he is in a costume, to which he answers that he must go fight for the country and that he'll come back soon.
The family gets a medal, and the daughter asks her mother what it means. The mother answers that "they" (the Prussians) killed him and that they must cry because they hate "them".
Then, we see that same girl, on the streets of a snowy Strasbourg. A Prussian soldier sees her and gives her an alms, which she refuses. She tells the "enemy" that she is a child of France and won't extend her hand to the enemy.
She explains to the soldier how both her parents died. Her mother died while praying in a cathedral, it is implied that it was blown up by the Germans while the mother was inside. Her father died at war, as mentioned previously, and she hasn't seen his coffin, hence why she's apparently wearing mourning clothes.
She finishes by telling the soldier that while they got Alsace and Lorraine, "millions of foreigners" (she also mentions Germania and Bohemia??), but they will never get her heart, as it will stay French.
Being written right after the defeat of the Franco-Prussian war, obviously, the little Alsatian girl would side with the French. This song has a revanchist tone, it's also patriotic (I mean it's a war song-).
But yet, there's something so... anti-war about it? Obviously, we see a little girl losing basically everything: her family, and her country (which the family is attached to, right from the beginning of the song to the end). But we also see the way the war makes her behave. Her mind is like black and white, there's an attacker (Prussians) and the attacked (French), and even though the Prussian soldier we see is actually being generous to her, she just sees him as an enemy, nothing else. I don't know if the "vous" she uses when talking to him is a formal you used towards the soldier alone or a general you used towards the Prussians in general, but she blames him/them for her parent's deaths. Even towards the beginning, when she and her mother learn of her father's death, the mother emphasises the hatred for the Prussians ("Yes my child, they killed your father / Let's cry together because we hate them").
The daughter takes pride in standing up to the soldier by refusing the alms ("Keep your gold, I keep my power"), which could be bad for her as we don't know if she can feed herself seeing that her parents are dead. She'd rather risk dying than accept the help from "the enemy". He's an enemy, not a human trying to help her.
For some reason, I felt like crying when thinking about this song. She has been so caught up in the war against nations and has been so hurt by the war that she can't see humanity any more, the only thing she could hold on to, her country, is gone. She is helpless, and all of this is for a war that was basically about nationalities.
Sorry for the unorganised thoughts. I just woke up and thought about this song :')
I also can't find the hetalia animatic of this war song, sadly. I think it disappeared after youtube started demonetising and blocking comments on videos it deemed to be for children....
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Ahh so, lately, I've been slowly (emphasis on slowly) working through another animatic.... so while I'm doing that I thought it'd be fun to share some thought processes i had while making Juliet (which you can watch above)!! I'm obviously not gonna analyze all of it, as a lot of the lyric matches and like, color meanings, for example, you can understand just fine on your own, but some stuff maybe might not be as obvious? So yeah, this is just gonna be me inanely rambling, in case anyone is in the market for thinking too deep into symbolism and character analysis hdgdhd
0:07
Starting off with the intro, the big flowers here are hydrangeas :) I intentionally tried to pick a color between blue, pink and purple, as the meanings for all three apply here. Blue hydrangeas symbolize understanding and gratefulness, and remorse and apology, sort of as 'I understand where I went wrong, and I'm sorry for not treating you fairly". I think this would fit well with Shigeo's feelings towards Ritsu,, pink, however, symbolizes heartfelt emotion, romance, and true feelings, which I thought was great for the Tsubomi side of things, especially in regards to the last arc. And purple symbolizes understanding, and gratefulness, without as much of the negative connotations. Sort of like a positive inverse of the blue ones' symbolism - a 'thank you for sticking with me'. Which is relevant for all the platonic relationships in his life, all the friendships, and, well... as I see it, also his relationship with himself - between Mob and ???% :')
Also I think the other flowers were lilacs, but. Tbh, i don't remember anymore.. their symbolism wasn't as relevant in my mind i think hdhfg (though i'm sure you could still extrapolate something from them if you really wanted to (which, in my country, they're often associated with students and graduation, so like, learning and new begginings/endings.... also i carry many memories of trying to find 3 leaved buds in them, for good luck, so take from that what you will ig! ^^;))
***
0:15
Here, I intended to use a dark red outline as to not make it immediately clear that Shigeo was dripping blood. As when you hear the lyrics "I need to cry," one would immediately picture tears, right? I'm not sure if I succeeded (especially with the blood tw right before), but that was the idea. Along with how then, of course, the lyrics continue with "but I can't get anything out of my eyes," and the gruesome scene reveal, making it clear it's not tears at all... yeah. Also, I just want to mention the lyrics "did I die?" because they make me emo. In a way, a part of Shigeo, the old Shigeo, did die that day....
***
0:46
not as much to say here, though I definitely drew this with the feeling of stagnation in my mind... like. Mob is growing physically, yes. But emotionally? He's festering, and only growing more, and more, stuck.... notice how the color dims. Blue is a sad color. But at least it is a color at all.
***
1:14
Oh boy, lots.... of things to say here. Or, well maybe not say. Idk how to explain the symbolism in this one? It was more subconscious... Something about Mob trying to reach out and understand himself, only to get distracted by Tsubomi, and set his eyes on her instead. And ???%, in the mirror, turning to him judgementally... I think it's reflective of how Tsubomi also was part of the reason for the split, and how, in his yearning for Tsubomi, what he was seeking after the most was acceptance, even if he couldn't see it.... something along those lines <3
(Also, god it bothers me that i messed up the lighting in his reflection's hair hghdgd,, might fix that someday)
***
1:56
"With two corks in his eyes", the two corks in this case being a dumbbell, and a book on social cues (which, btw, he canonically has).... I wanted to portray the things that he finds lacking in himself, and thus makes into roadblocks towards his path of self acceptance. Thinking of that line said by ???% about how, in his effort to join and train with the body improvement club, he was really just 'trying to make a new self', and wasn't really 'seeing' ???%. Trying to escape himself, the part of him with powers... and then s1 ep3, and how in it, Mob implied that he and his autism (dunno how else to put everything about that djghfh, it was just.. autism) are destructive... Yeah.
***
2:00
"and a bully in his head"
Just want to note... obviously, the lyrics imply that ???% is the bully here. But, if you pay attention, ???% here actually looks rather.. anguished. And Mob looks almost angry... just thought I'd make it clear the situation is a little more gray than that! :)
***
2:19
While drawing for this part, I couldn't stop thinking about this one analysis in youtube comments I had seen about how s2 ep1 was crucial in Mob taking that first, real step towards opening up emotionally, and how in the process, he's exposed to a much wider world morally as well. That's why I put the ghost family scene directly after the scene with Emi - he's beggining to consider his emotions, all the 'colors' he hasn't allowed himself to see, and that leads to him realizing his own autonomy, which leads to him considering his decisions more, which leads to the ghost family scene, where he's starting to consider the autonomy of spirits as well, instead of blindly following Reigen on these matters (who, as we know, doesn't know shit about that side of the world, and I would say... kinda allowed Mob to separate himself from his psychic side even more, with him mindlessly using his powers as a tool for work and nothing else). "I wanna be so much more."
I... actually have a lot of feelings, on Mob and his relationship with spirits and how that intertwines with his powers, but that's something to write it's own post about, not ramble about here, so I'll leave it at that i think jfgfh
***
2:33
The relevancy of the lyrics very much stretch on into the instrumental for this one.. "I hope that she looks at me and thinks, "shit, he's so pretty." Something I can't believe," And then him flashing to blood on his hands, and a sequence of moments he's probably felt not so proud of,,, just wanted to note that in case it wasn't obvious. Also, I have feelings about hand symbolism in this show, too, especially when it comes to moments where Shigeo has looked at his open palm, but that's also a post for another day just as in the previous point jdgdhh (in short: all of those moments can be traced back to how he views the power he posseses)
***
3:46
The two corks, in this case, are the spirit world, and the human world ^^ also notice how one of the figures among the spirits wears Mob's uniform... is that lord psycho helmet, or ???%...?? idk!!! You decide :)
Also the "bully in his head", this time, becomes not ???%, but the trauma of the incident... just wanted to bring that back to front and focus before the final chorus. Cause,, that really was the even that kickstarted it all, huh?
***
4:00
Not an analysis, just wanted to say, I greatly enjoy the juxtaposition of "but i'm really just a kid," laid over top Shigeo bleeding on the ground. Mmmhmmm,,,, pain.
***
4:11
I knowww I said I wasn't gonna be talking about the color meanings, but I just had to for this one. Obviously, I portrayed ???% menacing here, as they are menacing in this arc, but... notice how their aura is rather pink? I had finished this before the finale aired, so I didn't know it would be red in canon, but even knowing that, I would have returned to this. Because, with the pink... well, red does fit them better overall I would say, but in this case, I wanted to take the obvious choice, the color that is so commonly associated with danger, and... shift it to left a bit, make it a little softer. To emphasize the affection ???% holds for Tsubomi, the protectiveness they hold over Mob, the gentle side they show to Ritsu. And to bring us into their point of view even more, the red is instead relegated to the edges of the frame... a creeping vignete, that represents how they view the world around them is the dangerous part in all this. ..I hope all of that makes sense ;^^
***
4:07 and 4:22
Anddd the two corks become the seperation between Mob and ???%, and Ritsu and Tsubomi... those really were the focal points in this animatic, the building blocks for who Shigeo is, as I see it.. and how reconciling with both Ritsu and Tsubomi, leads to him being able to reconcile with himself, too. Of course, there is Reigen as well... but I just wanted to focus on these 3 for this one. Also, I just wanna say that the panel of Ritsu, Shigeo and Tsubomi holding hands in the air is one of my fave panels ever and I loved being able to depict it.. it just makes me feel things. The yearning for childhood, and connections, and the feeling of being whole again of it all,,,, augh
***
And. To end this sleep deprived ramble....
Notice how the animatic became more colorful over time? :)
Of course, part of that is just that I improved my style along the way, but... it was also very much intentional. A sort of reflection of Shigeo's journey, and how he rediscovered those colors along the way. Also was very much intentional from me for the final 2 frames to be the only ones where Shigeo's colors are actually accurate instead of just being symbolic - and that was to symbolize that,,, he was finally grounding himself in reality, and seeing himself for the whole, real person he truly is :')
The flower imagery wasn't as planned however, I decided on it as to make it match the intro that I made later and thus for it to come full circle, and I think it ended up adding to it!! Think of it meaning something along the lines of,,, just as in happiness, so in sadness, the flowers bloom. Or something like that.. idk jhgjdhgh
So yeah!!! Dunno who even read this far, but if anyone did, thank you for listening to my brainrot, I hope it was relatively interesting!! aanndd with that im also going to sleep, buh byeee u_u have good days/nights everyones <3
#mob psycho 100#mp100#kageyama shigeo#animatic#meta#video#kageyama ritsu#tsubomi takane#art#my own art#late night rambles#my own post#someone sent an ask about juliet and it reminded me that i had this whole ramble prepared lmao#so im finally posting it#sorry for how long this is ;^^ as you can probably tell i poured a lot of brainrot n feelings into this animatic#also the new one won't be as ambitious? in like the scope of it at least? itll be a more niche one#though more.difficult to execute in some ways#hint: itll be mogami arc related.... :)#that is. at least if i dont give up and its the next one i actually finish out of the rest of my animatic ideas lmao#anyways. actually going now soz. zzzzzz#Youtube
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RED STITCH LOVERS... REPORT!!!
(Thoughts on the finale below! NOT spoiler-free!)
What a fantastic finish cap to a fantastic show. You may have seen me complain about the endings to the other arcs before, but you won't see me complaining about this one. We wrapped up just about every loose thread (no pun intended), and those left dangling seem to be saved for the afterparty.
Notable highlights:
THE ISABELLE AND IAN SIBLING MOMENT... I was so happy multiple people drew it; I want to animatic it. I cheered so fuckin loud, tbh. Ian IS the shitty older brother, and Isabelle is his darling twin sister who will keep him in line, and together they will murder their Uncle Hunterpalm <3
(I am specifically referring to him comforting and teasing her while she cried into his shoulder but ALSO, what is more sibling-coded than planning how to commit a murder and hide the body together?)
Unexpectedly delightful dynamic between Cadmus and Hutch. This whole time, Cadmus has been the only party member who really HATES Hutch with a vitriol, and the animosity with Cadmus trying to steal a buff from him (albeit while saving his life) was just so good. And then Hutch using his overclass to full-restore Cadmus (WHO FINALLY GOT TO NOT DIE DURING A FIGHT) and offering to help get revenge on Vice afterwards? Really good stuff.
(And like, we NEEDED that confirmation that Vice was gonna get his just desserts. I would've thrown hands if we didn't.)
Lots of good polycule bits. "If you were hitting on me, you're gonna have to get in line. There's forms and stuff." I fucking love these science freaks.
THE GROUP HUG... even though Florence was not technically a part of it, I'm pretending she was.
On the note of Roob being gone for so long—much as I also wanted them to get back, tbh? I think it provided an EXCELLENT excuse for (non-combat-planning) roleplay. Some of the best moments likely wouldn't have happened if Roob hadn't dipped.
God bless Craigor for INSISTING they all go out and get ice cream. In my head, Craigor's vital role in the found family is that he keeps everyone sane by forcing them to indulge in small pleasures like dairy queen.
Cadmus removing Florence's stitch for her was such a good casual moment of intimacy. It's like letting someone do your makeup for you, only in a more brutal and fucked-up scenario because it's RSR. Nobody fucking look at me I love their friendship and will talk about it for ages
I actually like how Isabelle's "dry anger" finally broke into crying. It feels more in-character that she's been trying to act tough and uncaring this whole time, but really, she's just overwhelmed. I also like how it's more obvious now when she's being possessed by Venutia. HUGE "the souls of the innocent" "a bagel!" energy.
On that note: there's a moment I've always loved where Isabelle uses a Beam of Unreality and deletes several rock fans, and Connor says to Cadmus "stick with me here: there might be something more dangerous to your health here than the goddamn rock and rollers," to which Cadmus (who didn't see the beam) replies "who, Isabelle? she wouldn't hurt a fly!"
What I'm saying is, I want that moment to happen again but now with both Isabelle and Cadmus having the knowledge that she IS a monster. But they both choose to keep quiet about it. That's Cadmus's work daughter, he is not losing ANOTHER person in his life—
ISABELLE IN GENERAL WAS GREAT THIS SESSION. HER BIG SPEECH? A+. GOOD JOB, SIX, YOU GAVE A CONCLUSIVE THEME AND CAP TO THIS SHOW THAT HAD THE BALLS TO BRING UP THE QUESTIONS JELLO WOULDN'T.
Carol/Carmen in general was a really great antagonist. Sympathetic in nature, simple motivations that make sense to her character, and still a massive bitch who needs to be stopped. I don't have any brainrot over her but I felt the need to acknowledge her since, y'know, the whole series kinda hinged on her.
Congrats to that one person for getting their rat canonized
in conclusion,
RSR good
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Dazai Osamu and the Armed Detective
I would love an animatic or fic with Dazai and the Agency with the song 'It's Alright' by Mother Mother. This would be where they find out about what his crime list in the mafia is and they don't treat him like a demon or and monster for what he did, but like a kid who grew up in the wrong place and had traumatic past. And while it goes on Dazai slowly starts to realize that they don't see him as he sees himself, but they see a kid that didn't have a childhood.
I just need to see this found family welcome him for he is like they did for everyone else. I want them to see him as a kid who didn't get to grow up like a normal teenager, going to school and not like the Demon Prodigy that killed others, abused Akutagawa, and many other crimes. I want the Armed Detective Agency to be able to see that even if he did Akutagawa, that's what he was probably taught to do in the Mafia, he was just doing what he was taught to do to his subordinate. I want them to tell him that he is human and that they care about him.
I want them to give a big group hug with Dazai in the middle. I want them to just realize he was a victim of Mori like Yosano was. I want them to just realize that he was too young for any of this to happen to him.
I want Dazai to realize that he can trust them, maybe not as much as Oda (and Ango) during his last years in the Mafia. To realize that being in the light, being a good guy is more beautiful than being in the dark. That having people there for you that care for you is much better than not being able to trust anyone in case of betrayal.
I want him and Yosano to talk sh*t about Mori and also vent each other when they remember what he put them through.
I want Kenji to talk to him about farming, how to do it, what the best time of year to do it is, stuff like that.
I want Kyouka and him to have simple conversations that have nothing to do with the Mafia.
I want Fukuzawa to just slowly embrace him and tell him it's okay if he needs to cry (albeit in an awkward, but caring way).
To Kunikida to verbally make sure he's doing okay and be a sorta therapist to him.
To Atsushi to willingly turn into his tiger to see if that'll help him sleep because of the fluff.
To have Him and Ranpo talk about absolutely anything that sounds idiotic to the others, but actually sounds logical to them.
I want Junichiro to notice if Dazai is pretending his emotions (Junichiro probably took Theater in school and could notice things like that) and talk to him when they're alone.
I want Naomi to ask for more tips and tricks from him.
I just want them to see him as Dazai Osamu, not the Demon Prodigy. I want them to treat him like his feelings are valid and he shouldn't keep them to himself. I want them to be there for him when he's having the su*cidal thoughts.
I just want them to comfort him like he is a part of their little found family. To just be glad he's trying to turn over a new leaf and change from when he was in the Mafia. Treat him like he didn't murder like they do with everyone else in the Agency.
#rant post#bsd dazai#bsd#armed detective agency#Found family#bungou stray dogs#Dazai Osamu#ada bsd#bsd atsushi#bsd kyouka#bsd kenji#bsd kunikida#bsd fukuzawa#bsd ranpo#bsd junichiro#bsd naomi
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Adopted AU-of-an-AU
Okay, it's taking me a lot longer to actually finish the first comic bit I'm doing to start this AU out than I wanted, so I'm gonna start this as a text post. Keep an eye out for fic and comic stuff, though!
So as a brief overview, this is an AU of @tblsomedoodles 's ROTTMNT Adopted AU where Michelangelo (or Angelo/Angie) activates his mystic powers as a three-year-old and ends up in the '03 verse. In this version, Rise Michelangelo (or Michael) ends up in the '12 verse.
I'm putting the rest under the cut since this is pretty long. Apologies!
Okay, so. For how the AU gets, started, you can find an animatic for it here and a text-post explanation here. I do recommend you go check those out, as I'm not changing anything for how Michael ends up in '12 in comparison to Angelo being in '03. For a brief explanation, though, Mikey gets separated from his family. He gets attacked by a yokai, and his intense desire to return to his family is what causes his mystic abilities to activate.
There's a lot more nuance to it than that, but that's the jist. I strongly suggest you go check out Trouble's post and animatic, because one, they're great, and two, they have more details.
Now, on to the differences (provided in bullet points because it's easier):
Mikey (Michael from here on out) arrives in '12 alone and upset, runs away from Hob.
'12 Mikey and Raph hear him while they're playing in the sewers and go to investigate.
Surprise, they find a crying turtle toddler, who sees Raph's red bandana and immediately attaches to him. This is because of Rise Raph being referred to as 'Red' at this point and Michael associating the color red with being safe.
Both boys are very confused as to who this child is and decide to take him home after looking around a bit for where the kid could have come from.
Leo and Donnie are like "what the heck bros where did you get a child"
Splinter sees the baby and is reminded of when his sons were young and is immediately attached, having a feeling that Michael cannot be returned to his family yet
As such, Splinter chooses to raise Michael alongside the others as a younger brother.
Raph and Mikey are instantly Michael's favorite brothers for being the ones to find him, and they are both very soft with him (Raph will deny it, but it's true)
Mikey is hyped to not be the youngest anymore, and very carefully instructs Michael exactly how to pull pranks and make the brothers laugh. He's the one to name him "Michael," actually after himself, because he has orange spots, like Mikey being the orange ninja.
Donnie kinda just shrugs and accepts the fact that they have another brother. He doesn't mind the inquisitive lab partner at times, but Michael definitely has a tendency to get under Donnie's feet when he's little.
Raph's favorite brother is Michael. Some of it is how he's the least annoying, but most of it is that he just loves Michael and wants to protect him. (He's so small, okay? And he was alone, Raph needs to be there for him).
Leo is the slowest to warm up to Michael. He's the oldest and feels way too responsible for a baby. The thing that gets him to finally relax around Michael is when Michael ends up tripping while playing right in front of him but laughs about it. Michael is a much tougher baby than Leo thought.
Eventually though, all four are very comfortable around Michael and love him equally. They each have their soft moments with him, and it's an understood thing that they would kill for him.
About four months after Michael joins the family, he sees them training and is like "I wanna learn." Splinter was going to wait until he was a bit older, but Michael is very stubborn and has irresistible puppy-dog eyes. Splinter never stood a chance.
So Splinter begins teaching Michael the basics. He excels very quickly, due to both Michael's attitude about it (wanting to be like his brothers) and the nature of his mutation.
Like, in Rise, the brothers literally become excellent ninjas within a day during ep. 25. Even with their prior experiences, that is not something the '12 brothers would be able to do, and my personal hc is that the way Draxum mutated them, with perfected mutagen and a purpose, caused them to be excellent soldier material.
Not that Michael becomes a soldier in this, just that, learning from the greatest ninja master of the century, along with his biological advantages, would result in an extremely skilled ninja child.
By the time he's seven, Michael is able to take out his brothers in a 4v1 on a good day.
He's still baby tho, so sometimes his brothers go easy on him, but don't tell him they said that.
On the same note of those biological advantages, Michael is also very strong. At least lifting things - he still only weighs 60 pounds, he can get picked up and tossed v easily.
Those are all the early childhood notes I really have atm! If anyone has any questions, please let me know! My ask box is always open.
#rottmnt#2012 tmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt michelangelo#michael#tmnt au#adopted au-of-an-au#au of an au#I need a better name for this thing smh#adopted au#2012 michelangelo#2012 donatello#2012 raphael#2012 leonardo#2012 splinter#pls let me know what you think#I crave validation#and thus far my partner has been the only one to give it to me#brother au
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now for the chaos corner ( or part seven ) of the ask extravaganza, let's talk about my beloved little fennec fox felicity !! could i please ask after questions one, four, five, seven, and eight from that list of questions ?
can't wait to see the answers, and i hope you're doing well !! <3
Yeeessss, Lily, my sweet little baby!
1. What's an animatic about your OC / OTP that you've been spinning around your brain?
So, for Lily, I actually don't think I have a specific song animatic in mind for her, just general vibes. I feel like it would probably be an angsty one about childhood innocence and her relationship with Sanji, generally pretty happy and adorable and all, but occasionally you'll get scenes of her crying and throwing tantrums in fear... Delicious angst. Specifically, the main angst potential comes from the Whole Cake Island Arc. I know you know basically nothing about it, Dolly, but all of my OCs (except for Lux) have a deep and profound trauma from that arc, some more than others. That's because that arc is peak Sanji angst. Anyways, for some happy moments, I could see little montages of them training together, cooking together, Lily showing off her ballet skills, general crew shenanigans... It's about the contrast!
4. Give a full breakdown of one song on your OC or OTP's playlist!
*checks my Felicity playlist* Well, well, well...
I could cheat and do an instrumental one. I can’t do ones that are just there based on vibes because they're... well... just there for vibes. Most of them are just there for vibes, actually. So, we'll do this one:
"Have you heard from the news? / Clouds are falling from the sky / And everything that's pink is now blue."
... is about the scary things in Lily's life and how her world is coming apart, first because of Buggy, then because of Kuro.
"Have you heard from my mind? / We gotta find a way to cope / Or else things might not turn out so fine"
... is Lily's escapism, the way her brain cooked up the automatic response of age regression as a way to cope and make things fine again.
"And I start / To give in / To the sin / To the sin"
Lily puts up no resistance against this sort of escape but it's a "sin" because devil fruits are, well, devil fruits, and she's already a non-human freak without it, but even more so when it keeps changing her appearance in tune with her mind.
"And I start / To realize / Lullabies / La, la..."
... is Lily really falling into Little Space, the last two syllables being a sort of reference to baby speech - listen to how they sound in the song!
The chorus is filled with antitheses between childish, happy things and scary things you might encounter in life and that's also the world that Lily lives in. Sort of a childish bubble she has built for herself and the harsh pirate's life of death and fighting outside of it. There's one line that's special though and that's:
"Lollipops and cigarettes"
Lily, being half mink, has heightened senses, and she's also very emotional, so a lot of times, things just become too much for her. That's when she asks her dad Sanji for a "smoke break" which is code for "mom come pick me up i'm scared". Sanji is a smoker, so he has an excuse to just remove himself from a situation and go outside for a while and Lily copied that for herself. I think the first time she pulls this trick, it's and accident. She probably mumbles to herself "I think I need a smoke break" (copying Sanji, most likely) and everyone just looks at her as if their souls had left their bodies. But then Sanji smiles and says "You know, me too" and they leave and then this becomes actual code speak for them. There's only one thing that's an issue: Lily feels left out if Sanji is smoking and she isn't. She keeps bugging him about how it isn't fair until he gets her lollipops as a comprimise. Also fake cigarettes made of chewing gum or chocolate.
"Losing innocence is easy / But growing up is hard to face. / Give me something to hold on to / Or I'll slip right into little space"
The "losing innocence is easy" part is a reference to Lily losing her parents, an event that she can barely remember and never understood. In her eyes, they just disappeared, and she doesn't know what really happened or never quite pieces it together - because she was young, still is young and her mind refuses to recall what happened. So she just unconsciously refuses to grow up. And she doesn't have to. She's still so young but also she'd rather be this little kid again when her parents were still by her side and she doesn't want to face things like losing her second set of parents - ie. Kaya's - or getting kidnapped by Buggy or the chaos caused by the Black Cat Pirates. She needs someone or something to hold on to or she gets scared and slips into little space, basically becoming a nonverbal ball of fear.
"Remember all the rounds / When we sneaked in just to have a kiss / But now we need to keep the noise down"
In the original interpretation of the song, this is more of an allusion to puppy love vs sexuality, but in Lily's version, the last line is more related to violence and screaming, maybe also her sensitivity to noise because of her gigantic ears that she maybe wasn't so accutely aware of when she was younger.
"Remember sleepy eyes / When we see each other every day / But now this is our final goodbye"
This part is about Kaya and Lily who grew up like siblings for a long time. Granted, they are quite a few years apart, but Lily has very fond memories of just napping with Kaya and seeing her every day because they lived together, but her going out with the Straw Hats means she might never see her again - or at least not for a very long time. The "final goodybe" is also a reference to Merry's death, who was another of Lily's father figures and who was also part mink.
Chorus time! The final lines function the same way, contrasting fun, childish things and scary, adult things.
So yeah, the whole song might as well be interpreted as a look into how Lily's mind works!
5. What would your OC's tumblr blog be like?
I haven't decided on whether I want Lily to be twelve or thirteen yet, but I'm currently gravitating towards twelve and... yeah, she's too young for Tumblr XD
But if she did have a blog, I imagine it would be very chaotic. Ballet stuff, Barbie movies, children's shows, aesthetics, slime videos, kidcore, pastel stuff, Disney...
7. What's your OC's ___-core aesthetic?
Probably a soft and childish balletcore, mixed in with some more pastel-y kidcore. Also fennec fox. You cannot do Lily without a cute little fennec fox.
8. What are some TV Tropes that apply to your OC or OTP?
Oh, a lot! Here's just a little list: The Cheerful Child, Curious as a Monkey, Parental Substitute on multiple occasions (first Kaya's parents, then Merry, then Sanji!) and her and Sanji get a "Like a Son Daughter to Me" moment. She's also somewhat of an Innocent Prodigy when it comes to fighting and ballet, and Cheer Them Up with Laughter is how to stop her tantrums and breakdowns. Finally, Cheery Pink. That's it.
Sorry that this took so long. I had very little free time since Christmas and I've just been working on this whenever I had the time and frame of mind. Thanks so much for your ask!
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Taglist: @starcrossedjedis @oneirataxia-girl @daughter-of-melpomene @supermarine-silvally - let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!
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dude the TOP song you posted (truce) fucking kills me and the way you described the animatic is??? so good???? I'd bawl actually /pos
I need to know if there's any other TOP songs you relate to the furies/any DE character really, or any slower songs even if they aren't by TOP
OH AGREED ABSOLUTELY!! TRUCE MY BELOVED... and THANK YOU!! we are imagining animatics and crying together! /pos :'] <3
ooh!! well, i havent listened to a lot of TOP in a while, so i don't have many recommendations there unfortunately :'] but for other slow, soft songs, let's see... i'll put them under a cut with all my explanations, but ☀️ "See The Day" by The Altogether (Volition song!), 🍃 "Rounds" by The Oh Hellos (Shivers song!), 🦋 "Would You Be So Kind" by dodie (general skills song, Suggestion primarily!) are the best contenders!
Pretty sure you've seen it already, but from a different ask, i recommend "Almost (Sweet Music)" by Hozier! (and "Like Real People Do" if you want to cry and yearn with me, though my DE ideas for it are very loose hkjhg) these are slow ones i like hkjhg <3
"Goodbye" by The Altogether is a Harry and Dora song :0
"Soldier, Poet, King" by The Oh Hellos is one i specifically relate to Volition (my beloved protector/motivator/crownhead blorbo! [picks him up and wiggles him!!!]), but i would make one of those animation memes for it with every skill slotted into a "soldier" "poet" or "king" position.
☀️ "See the Day" is both another The Altogether song and another Volition song! a real "the worst is over. we made it through. we're going to survive this. it might not get easier yet, but we'll come out the other side and we'll be alive" song. it makes me cry hkjgh
🍃 "Rounds" by The Oh Hellos is a soft Shivers song, though the lyrics don't start until halfway in. ough my god listening to it makes my heart ache (/pos) <3 La Revacholiere singing to Harry in the wind. "Will you start when I end? Yeah, I'm long in the wind..."
"Northern Star" by Dom Fera, a song Harry would sing for karaoke and dedicate to Kim, and then they'd waltz a little clumsily on the dim, starlit sidewalk on their way home for the evening... <3
🦋 "Would You Be So Kind?" by dodie BUT SPECIFICALLY THIS VERSION, because i love everyone's crowded but earnest vibes. this one is led by Suggestion ("oooh you wanna fall in love with us so bad right? right???") and makes me grin, you GOTTA imagine all of the skills squished together in the front of Harry's brain all trying different tactics to get Kim to fall in love with them, (rhetoric: "I HAVE A QUESTION..." ency: "let's write a story! be in my book!") at 2:35, after all the skills singing together loudly, it's just Harry himself singing to Kim, with all the skills slowly backing him up. the ending is all of them fucking ECSTATIC celebrating when harry finally kisses kim hkjhg jesus this'd be so cute hold on i have to go plan this out i have so many thoughts hkjdh
"Seven" by Sleeping at Last would be a sweet Reaction Speed song (ironic that im adding react speed to a list of soft, slow songs though hkjgh) "I'm ready for whatever comes next!" <3 Reaction Speed is a fast, restless little fella who can't sit still for long, always loves moving, acting, doing. he's like the personification of a verb hkjhg <3 i would also accept an interpretation for echem <3
"Cosmos" by Jawbreaker Reunion is a song that The Furies recently suggested to me as a jean song and it's so right for that, very soft and i like it very much :'] (you should also ask The Furies if you want to, it's much more musically inclined than me, i feel hkjhg <3)
awuahg thank you for asking and for reading!! i appreciate it!! <33
oh and here's links to all of the songs in the tags: Come Together Now, Two, Four, Five, Six, Eight, Nine, RPG Animation Meme (<- homestuck lmao)
#volta transmissions#now: songs that didn't meet the requirements (either not a slow song OR doesnt remind me of de characters/skills) but honorable mentions:#you specifically asked for slow songs but i refound ''come together now'' from the lego movie soundtrack and I HAVE SKILL THOUGHTS...#<- no chemi you're not hosting a fucking multi animator project you have enough on your plate THANKS <3#but!! that is my idealized version of the skills to me though. ''we're all really different but we make each other better together''#dodie has many more slower songs but i cant really relate them to DE hkjhg <3 the oh hellos too!! and the altogether <3#''two'' from Sleeping at Last makes my heart hurt but i can't relate it to anyone in specific. but if you want a soft song that i love <3#also from Sleeping at Last but i dont like these songs as much: ''Four'' is Concept! ''Five'' is Viscal! ''Six'' is Psyche in general#but specifically inland and volition!! ''Eight'' is an Endurance song but i'd also take Authority or Phys interpretations <3#but eight is kind of intense so it doesnt go in the actual list. ''Nine'' might be Empathy? get over being a moralist little guy!!#i like ''Two'' ''Seven'' and ''Eight'' while the other ones are not my cup of tea... but they ARE soft songs i associate with skills!#only tangentially related but the RPG animation meme would be. extremely fun to do for the skills. and i think about it intensely.#LISTEN... there's 30-ish beats at the start for characters. theres 24 skills plus room to show group ups by type (int; psyc; phys; mot)#the entire main thing of the meme is [someone says a stupid idea] [everyone disliked that!!] WHICH IS EXACTLY THE RIGHT VIBE HFJKFH#HOWEVER. i still dont have designs for [checks] MORE THAN HALF OF THEM. so EL BIGO MISTAKO LIEUTENANT! YOU CAN'T!#i wish i was more well-versed in music hkjhg im kinda just vibing with what i got <3 this is why daily voltas stopped :'] alas!
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5, 20, 27 for the music ask game?
hehe music ask i love this. Ok, ramble time!!
5. A song that needs to be played LOUD- Bodys by Car Seat Headrest
wow Static talking about CSH again, how original. BUT SERIOUSLY I ADORE THIS SONG! Definition of a song that is asking you to dance and live in the moment. I want to see this song in a coming of age movie SO badly, you have no idea. But, the amount of time I've fuckin blasted this song full volume is wild. It's beautiful and fun and has some amazing lyrics as well. CSH my beloved <3 I can ramble about these lyrics for a while I really want to paint some of them on a jacket >:3
(Honorable mentions: Dance Yrself Clean by LCD Soundsystem and Slip Away by Perfume Genius. Both INCREDIBLE songs)
20. A song that has many meanings to you-Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe
This is maybe my favorite love song ever (competing with Fair by The Amazing Devil) and is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. Like holy SHIT those harmonies and lyrics and the overlapping part and the AHHHHH. If you can't tell this is one of my all time favorite songs lol. But it's a song that breaks my heart because I found it through an animatic that is SO fucking sad for one of my favoirte pieces of media, The Adventure Zone. That animatic fucking wrecks me and has made me cry multiple times. So, sometimes it makes me sad, but I still think it's amazing. And it's a song that my mom loves as well, its so fun to sing it with her in the car. :D ahhhh its so good. If you go and listen to any song here, it should be this one.
(Honorable mentions: Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales by Car Seat Headrest and literally any song from the Historians album by Lucy Dacus lol)
27. A song that breaks your heart- Elysian Fields by the Mechanisms and Welly Boots by The Amazing Devil
I have a LOT of options for this one because angst is my absolute favorite (as you know afgdhjsjkl) But this song has fully wrecked my shit SO many times. It's the ending of a narrative album called "Ulysses Dies at Dawn" which means the world to me, and this song is...well. Ulysses dying at dawn. But, the reason why I always return to it is it's stunningly bittersweet lyrics and the heartfelt instrumentals. Also it reminds me of the ending of my book which i also have big emotions about so that doesn't help lol. But this album is a fucking masterpiece and this ending will forever stick with me and make me VERY sad.
Welly Boots is my most listened to song on spotify across like four entire years worth of music lol. This song DESTROYS me and has some of the most beautiful lyrics I've ever heard. Also word for word also connects to my book (the same two characters actually), so I connect it with one of my favorite things I've ever written. Fuck, this song is so amazing. Also is very bittersweet and heartbreaking and ahhhhh
(Honorable mentions: It's ok to cry by SOPHIE, and levers by Roland Faunte (or ANY song by him ngl) )
Thanks for the ask! I fucking LOVE to ramble about my music. I have so many thoughts all the time :DDDD
#Thanks for the ask!! this is probably my favorite ask game#im very headfull about a lot of music#clearly#ask#ask game#i exist maybe#car seat headrest#steam powered giraffe#the amazing devil#the mechanisms#lucy dacus
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So I’ve been thinking, and obviously these are thoughts that will probably be expounded upon (potentially) in my final remarks post on Saturday, but I’ve been having some thoughts about JMart again. Condensing some of the previous commentary, the running themes I’ve been struggling with, ect. Perhaps my opinions with change with MAG 200, maybe 200 will only cement them, but hear me out:
TMA is a horror podcast, not a horror/romance podcast. “But mamahersh!” I hear you cry, “no duh! No one ever claimed it was a horror/romance podcast!”
You, imaginary reader, are quite correct.
It’s just odd that the show writer tries so very hard to add romance in the show in S5 just to seemingly set up a final act romantic tragedy. Well, ok, that’s rather disingenuous, as there’s some off handed mentions of Jon and Martin hanging out in S3, and Jon spends like half his time in S4 pining after Martin. But more to the point: all actual romantic developments (except when needed for an important character moment to tie into something tragic later) are off screen. We hear second hand about Melanie and Georgie’s relationship forming, we can make our own assumptions about their closeness based on 158? and 190-192, we hear offhandedly about Jon and Martin’s S3 lunch dates (if I’m not misremembering that tidbit entirely), we can speculate about Jon and Martin’s relationship progressing and that it was a rather significant jump in progress after saving Martin from the Lonely while they sheltered at Daisy’s Safehouse...
I’m mostly trying to get at I think two big things I guess. 1) Jonny is spectacular at horror writing. S1-3, and the statements in S4 are spot on in terms of striking the right balance you need in a campfire story or a personal folktale or a short horror story. He also does a great job at writing long form dramas, what with seeding the clues to how the universe works from the very beginning and challenging the listeners to try and understand what’s going on right along with the main character. Keeping the listeners on their toes as they wait each week with baited breath to find out what’s happening this time to our dear blorbo Jarchivist. However, what he seems to enjoy doing less of, at least in TMA universe, is write “fluff”. He can certainly write soft moments between characters, quite well in fact! There’s a reason S5 has a bajillion animatics from when it was releasing based on the little JMart tidbits we were given. But that’s just it, they were tidbits, and even the patreon and public fluff extras never exceeded 10 mins. Goodness, not to say they should have! But more to the point: it’s quite difficult to write a healthy or even a compelling romance when you don’t have the time or “place” to establish it. which kinda leads into...
2) The reason I keep feeling like the romance between Jon and Martin in S5 is forced is because to some extent it is. There was no development of their relationship on tape, and then when finally do have the time to do so it’s in the literal worst situation imaginable to do so. All of the silly somft moments are eaten away by both the circumstances of Jon and Martin being able to spend all this time together (the literal end of the world and all that’s Good) and their general dispositions towards each other. You don’t keep a relationship healthy or alive by never trusting your partner, or never telling them anything in a way they can understand, or callously talking about trying end every “monster” like them, or never listening to their concerns. These two have always struggled with communicating and the apocalypse just seems to have exacerbated the problems 10 fold. Which, again, horror podcast. Dramatic Tragedy and all that. We are getting their relationship set up for 200, but also because it makes for a good reason that Jon hasn’t just jumped off the deep end yet.
Anyways, I think this nicely consolidates my thoughts on the matter. And just to be clear, I’m sure if Jonny Sims wanted to write full length episodes of sappy office drama I’m sure he could, but in the context of TMA he certainly can’t. Which is perfectly fine outside of suddenly trying to pull a Romeo and Juliet with Jon and Martin as a major B plot running through all of S5.
#tma#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#tma meta#long post#I'm going to alienate all (both) of my regular readers with the way I'm going lol#the magnus archives liveblog
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Why Not Me? | Written Piece
Content Warnings: Parentification/emotional neglect, exploration of mourning/grief, referenced suicide, unhealthy (& possibly sanist) views towards suicide/depression,
Author's Note: Since this is the first of these I'll be posting, let it be known that none of these writing pieces are necessary to grasp Vivit, but are simply bonus material that give a better look into the characters the way that my animatics may not.
This piece may contain spoilers. I don't think I'll have the time to explore this facet of Samuel and Vida's relationship in depth, hence why I've decided to post it, but this does contain material that hasn't been explored in my youtube content. If you want to avoid potentially risking a surprise for later content, then do not read.
Also as an obvious, what is written does not reflect my own views, only that of our characters. Vivit has never been a light story, and none of these characters are fully good people. If it makes you uncomfortable, good, that's the point. Please read at your own discretion.
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“She meant… so much to me.”
“I know.”
Vida had heard as much millions of times by then. It was routine—down to their father crying in their arms on his bed as they just sat there, unmoving, uncertain; the icon of stoicism that they needed to be for the both of them, because if it wasn’t them, who else would it be?
“I could’ve—I could’ve saved her. She didn’t—”
“Dad, no,” they hushed, as quiet and sweet as they could manage despite their increasing annoyance, “It’s not your fault.”
It truly wasn’t. They hated the self loathing he held, the insistence he was capable of doing more, and all the more hated their mother for leaving the two of them alone, because it wasn’t fair. They shouldn’t have to be taking their father’s shaking hands in theirs, to be whispering soothing words as he slurred over his declarations of blame. They did it anyway, because they loved him, more than heaven and earth and certainly more than she ever did if they were still standing while she was dead.
“It is,” he insisted, voice straining as he spoke, “I should’ve… should’ve done more to stop her, fuck, I—”
He broke into sobs again, and all they could do was hold him. They held back their own tears—from feeling powerless, hopeless, frustrated that all they could do was offer sympathetic stock phrases and offer what physical comfort they could. They were supposed to make him feel better, they were supposed to be the one to fix things, but they never could. Not with this.
And the yearned nothing more to say the truth—that their mother must’ve been heartless to subject him to something so cruel. Because how selfish could someone be to take their own life when they had a goddamn family—a husband who’d done nothing wrong and a child who would never even get to know her. She wasn’t someone worth his tears because if she loved him, really, truly, she would’ve stayed.
But they don’t. Because that’s not what the narrative is. She’s the saint, the woman that was too good for this cruel world. The definition of purity, the love of his life, the special someone that had never, in her life, done anything wrong and was somehow deserving of over a decade’s worth of pity. They don’t get it. They don’t understand why he’s not angry. But they’re not supposed to. They did as always, frowned, offered empty reassurances, because nothing else could be done. She was 10 feet under and no misplaced sympathy was bringing her back.
“Please—promise, promise you won’t leave me.”
He looked at them with the kind of desperation they were only granted in moments such as that night. They despised having to go through the motions as though they hadn’t so many times before—as if between the last time and that moment (4 entire days, if one could believe it), their mind had miraculously changed.
But it’s not about them. It’s never about them. So they play along.
“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
They know their father needs reassurance more than ever because he’s afraid, but it doesn’t make it sting any less—that he still can’t trust them, that he still fears that they’d be gone in an instant. They wouldn’t—couldn’t put him through that same heartache again. They were better than that. They loved him more than that.
#vivit#writing#original writing#tw suicide#tw parentification#ask to tag further if needed#I'm really nervous about posting this if you can believe it#since vivit's darker aspects have been something that have remained mostly visual#and something about the written word really makes it all the more prominent#but nonetheless I thought it would be interesting to share#so I hope this gives everyone a better look into what I've been doing with my time lately
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[UNFINISHED] Ouyang Zizhen (Cupid Animatic)
so... I was planning to do a whole animatic for ZZ because I love him so much and I love the quartet so much and I had this whole plot planned for it but just... midway through, I decided to drop it cause I'm just SO bad at drawing and this is so difficult like; I have so much appreciation for the people who make animatics now. It looks easy but it's a different kind of hard compared to drawing like one scene.
but since I did work hard on some of it, I thought, why not post it? :D when I tell you that I had a plot in mind!! if you wanna hear the gist of it, it's basically like:
Zizhen being lonely and dramatic about it while watching wangxian (because they are the standard, ofc) and throughout the whole thing, the rest of the quartet are just watching him secretly, wondering why he is sad. Eventually, they get it and they all tell him off at the end that he's not lonely and he can have all the hugs and kisses and everything with them ❤��
It's not supposed to be romantic but it can be taken whichever way honestly. The point was that yeah we all want romance in our life (I mean, I relate to the song so I understand the feelings) but having friends who are there for you every time is somehow even better. For me, the junior quartet is that friendgroup.
Like they're ready to give him hugs when he wants them. Forehead kisses, hand holding, physical affection– everything. They listen to him talk about his interests with fondness even if they don't really understand it. They'll give their shoulders when he needs to cry. They'll listen when he wants to vent. That kind of friendship is worth just as much as a romantic relationship, if not more.
Anyway, it was supposed to half crack and half feels and it's... a mess lmao. Y'all should see my storyboards (?) for this, that's a whole freaking circus that I'll be ashamed of if anyone irl saw 😭
#mdzs#mdzs juniors#mo dao zu shi#fanart#animatic#lan sizhui#lan jingyi#jin ling#wei wuxian#junior quartet#lan wangji#wangxian#but most importantly#ouyang zizhen#he's the protagonist hahahah
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has anyone done the most magnificent and genius thing of making a mark and cesar animatic to "just take my wallet" (y'know the jack stauber song that goes "you took away my friend, my buddy")
I mean 'cause mark was really willing to stick by cesar's side because he thought he needed him y'know
Like Mark did not want to go out in the dead of night by himself in the middle of an alternate outbreak to a spooky house he just didn't like while being a constantly paranoid guy yet he did all of that to help Cesar out I mean they must've been close
Just for this evil fricking creature to torment him for 3 days straight as he was locked in his room panicking and crying
And that thing did all of that while sounding like his best friend
Mark knew Cesar was dead
And he knew whatever killed Cesar wanted to kill him too
Yet despite being scared out of his mind he went out guns-a-blazing, shouting profanities with rage in his voice and rife with grief towards one of his loved ones who was massacred by this monstrosity
Anyway enough rambling basically I think that song would be real fitting for them
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