#need bc in the moment ill be so relieved to be talking again that ill forget this feeling | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yuukei-yikes · 1 year

Note

Tell us about Shinaya’s breakup :D

HEHDJEIDNEKFJEKDKEK ive had this ask since i posted i was thinking abt it MAN i cannot express to u i just. I WANNA WRITE A FIC SO BAD but AUGH im so bad at it it makes me cringe i cant do that but its basically like all my damn posts together u know. i keep thinking of shintaro's disastrous relationships post str going from ayano to kano to takane etcetc sorry im playing with him like a stress toy making him go thru hell but its so fun

srry i dont wanna have to rewrite a lot of stuff so erm im liking this answer 🫡🫡🫡 and i could link a bunch more just so u SEE MY VISION... but i think linking that is enough. ON AND OFF SHINAYA MY BELOVED

shintaro and ayano sort of having this ridiculous relationship because both are hurting and jumped in a relationship too quick but fighting/being sad about stupid shit is so much easier than dealing with their actual issues that they've got with themselves. like focusing on each other and what they don't like about each other and their relationship is so much easier than crying about how suicidal they are. lollllll SO LIKE this insanity sort of saves them at the same time??

i mean the most ideal would be that instead of getting together they got therapy and the normal kind not the relationship kind. you know. but also theyre traumatized and ugh. its so much easier to resent each other than themselves. its so much easier to be petty. its such a relief to cry over relationship problems than over timeline resets or dead parents and etc. YOU GET ME?????

they keep breaking up and getting back together ridiculously like it is 1000% so dramatic each and everytime. ayano crying her eyes out like its the end of the world and shintaro making 100 sad playlists. and it happens at least monthly. the first time everyone's like WHOA THEY BROKE UP!?!? SHIT!! the second time its like heyyy maybe they'll work it out like last time!! third time its like are you joking. fourth time they're already begging them to stop. by they i mean the dan but especially takane by the way. who do you think is picking up the pieces.

and by the way the one breaking up all the time and being dramatic as hell is shintaro. he gets angry and annoyed and weaponizes the LETS BREAK UP thing because he DOESNT MEAN IT. like he knows he and ayano will work it out later. he gets comfortable again. not to get on the ayano surviving thing, but i think ayano (and hiyori but especially ayano) making it out alive undoes a big part of the message abt moving on. like i love her so im not complaining thats i love having her alive :3 but i like to translate this into shintaro like. he's intensely trying to repress/process all the memories of the other timelines to cope and have a normal life and ends up being this way because he's sort of self sabotaging himself. like ayano's alive and she likes me??? lol. ok?? ill wake up any moment now!! and he feels guilty and undeserving and is sort of a dickhead to her in an unconscious attempt of keeping her away because that's what he deserves according to him. also why he's accepting of takane's intense obsession with him lol bc she's familiar and she is comfortable, unlike ayano who is so rare and one in its kind in all the timelines. he is sort of terrified of her in a way.

the lets break up isnt rly a breakup. its just a leave me alone see u later. LOL i think we talk too much abt kanoshin bringing the worst in each other but what about shinaya. they do that too. yeah we CAN have fluffy shinaya. but like i said it is so easy to focus all this bitterness and sadness into each other and it's so relieving to be sad and angry about this rather than everything else. because this is sort of in their control while everything else isn't, wasn't. and its so unfair. of course its unfair!! but they cant do anything abt it. so they just go crazy on each other. ayano is DESPERATE to be needed. i could link more replies but i will hold myself back. basically her siblings are used to being alone/know she has her own problems and ayano is dealing with this emptiness and feeling of failure bc no one needs her, from her perspective her sacrifice still failed to save everyone, her parents are gone so she needs to step up. like she puts herself under all this pressure and feels Not Good Enough for ANYTHING. and she is dating shintaro.

it's EASY to bother him and try to get him to open up and etc so she ridiculously focuses on that. but it gets on shintaro's nerves to say the least LOL plus all his other issues i mentioned 🫡plus she keeps being like we have to be normal. lets kiss and hold hands and cuddle. but she's too embarrassed to say it/do it and shintaro is even more pathetic about it. so theyre both frustrated about everything and can barely even sit next to each other without acting insane.

AND SORRY BUT I WILL TALK ABT TAKANE🫡💞💗💖💝💕💘ofc. codependent shintaka. of course. it drives ayano CRAZY because on top of all their problems takane is able to talk sense into shintaro each and every single time. and she is soooo jealous like she knows its stupid but she cant help ittt i ALSO TALKED ABT THIS SORRY I KEEP REPEATING MYSELF IM JUST SO CRzy abt it. hehe......the whole mess bringing drama to harutaka too bc shintaro and ayano are so messy theyre contagious is so fun to me. when it comes to shintaro and takane's horrible relationship both their romantic relationships suffer for it but deal with it completely differently. while both haruka and ayano deal with jealousy somewhat, ayano is so hurt and already at the verge of a mental breakdown so she's focusing so many negative emotions on it and AGAIN it just serves as another point of argument between shintaro and ayano while haruka is like. his mental state isnt as convoluted as ayanos, he's rather freaking out and terrified of being left alone. THIS IS ABT SHINAYA so i wont get into harutaka side but lol. heh. Looks at it. zooms in it. like what i mean is that haruka and takane talk and work through it and are like sighs yeah...this is messed up while shintaro and ayano are using it against each other instead of working on it LMAO

ANYWAYS. ayano breaks up with shintaro. vine boom. total breakdown moment like everyone out of the room i wanna talk to you alone. and this time its for REAL. like ayano isnt confrontational at all, all their arguments are always her being pushy abt idk mental health and shintaro's like godddd STOPPPPP and ayano crying and shintaro being like I CANNOT DEAL WITH THAT. IM SORRY I GUESS. CAN U GET OUT OF THE ROOM. WE'LL TALK LATER. but he also sucks so bad at letting the other person know they can count on him so he kind of assumes ayano will do it when she's ready because he KNOWS she's in pain. like. ofc it could go well. ofc shintaro and ayano could work through everything with kindness and comprehension for each other but they're both so sad and suddenly find themselves annoyed at each other one time and it felt so freeing to do that that they just keep doing it. especially shintaro. having ayano be mad at him is sort of relieving because he feels undeserving of her and its like yeah. Yeah!! i know its ooc but shinaya screaming match.god. sorry but all their bottled up emotions abt everything and they take it out on each other for no reason other than theyre giving each other the space and it plays out that way. theyre acting crazy about something so stupid like shintaro not wanting ayano to wear his clothes or whatever. like they scream about that but its not about that. it just feels so good to scream. it feels so good to scream and let it out even if they haven't given themselves the time to process that theyre not... actually screaming abt that at all. theyre screaming about everything else. not even about each other. its about themselves. its always been.its never been about each other. when it is, its stupid. thats why they do it. its just easier. God. they were just not ready for a relationship, especially not one with each other out of all people.

ayano breaks first, therefore dumps shintaro lol. he goes thru his own fucked up arc afterwards while ayano gets help. my man spirals DOWN. whether they get back together or not depends on my mood 🤨 but if they do, its by the time theyre in their mid twenties or something so a few years later LOL i picture them dating like for over a year maybe?? when theyre 18/19. hehe.

like. do you get it.

#ask tag #headcanons #HEH...#ayashin divorce

13 notes · View notes

flockofdoves · 2 years

Text

wahhhhh last day of camp counselor job which was also last day of my lease and also my gfs birthday

things are so insane i really just need to sleep for a whole day but im just feeling really emotional. i really love these kids and appreciate my coworkers and its so weird thinking about how theres no realistic or desirable wag to see myself doing this again and seeing these kids again. i really wish id somehow at least found my way into babysitting some of them like some of my coworkers did by talking to parents at pickup but i just didnt have that confidence so its just wild. im just like so familiar with the kids whove been here for most of the weeks and now ill probably never see them again :(

and god. theres just so many memories in my old apartment this was a really significant year. even if the rental company sucked im so emotional about leaving in such a rush

i was really glad i had 2 weeks of overlap to move in to my new place but im bad at time management and was so so busy and didnt realize at first rhe lease ended at 10am today, not midnight, so me and my gf were packing and moving til fucking 5am today and my last moments there i was trying not to have an anxiety attack crying and dead tired and in pain for hours

while im not always neat, i took a lot of pride in trying to take care of my place and make it look good, so its sad to me how dirty it looked on moving out bc i just didnt have the time

its sad to me i had to come into work late on my last day because of last minute moving stuff and its sad to me i had to spend the day while trying to relish it and be the best counselor i can be for kids while running on not even 2 hours of sleep

i wish i couldve had a proper not rushed or half-assed goodbye to all these things and its insane its all happening at once and at a point in time where i want to have the time to properly celebrate for my girlfriend (and my grandpa whos 80th was yesterday) and see my family 2.5 hours away before they go way farther away again.

its kinda scary to me that i didnt have a bit of time to test out how this new place is with the familiarity and resources of my old apartment still there to fall back on

im not sad though entirely dont get me wrong, even if i wish i did it better im so so relieved that i tangibly know now i have a place to live for this next year, and im glad to have a bit more time to do things i need and want to do for the next few weeks after work was taking away all my time and energy

but just. wow! feeling a lot of things at once and its all so sudden and fatigue is probably not helping

#cpost

4 notes · View notes

livlepretre · 8 months

Note

Okay so I'm in love with this series!!!!

It's funny bc I just finished it today and didn't know the 2nd season was out on the 1st lol I had some good timing there.

I'm very sad however that they had to recast Mat for whatever reason.

I'm not quite into Rand yet. Maybe will take a bit more time as I quite like everyone else.

I'm a bit confused as to one thing in the last episode: that one dude that showed up on bel tine and then to take the horn, said all 5 of them essentially are needed to take on the Dark one. Does that mean they are all the Dragon reborn? Or is it still just Rand?

Anyway, wheeeee! L of time hehe

YOU ARE SO IN LUCK!

(but!!! when you finish gobbling up season 2, and are eagerly awaiting season 3, remember that the books are PHENOMENALLY FUN and are waiting to be read or listened to! Rosamund Pike even narrates the first book!)

Hmmm I'm actually relieved Mat was recast 😅 The actor himself did a fine enough job in terms of acting, he just did the poorest job of the main cast of capturing the essence of the book character in my opinion. Like, he just doesn't seem like MAT to me at all. (There are so many character moments in the show that aren't in the books that would make me shout HA! SHE/HE WOULD!) Perhaps that might have changed in time, but as things stand, I'm actually looking forward to seeing if a different actor can get a truer grasp on the character I love so much. Like, I understand that lots of plot points have been changed for the show, which I am cool with, I just didn't recognize Mat Cauthon in season 1 practically at all. Probably only in the scenes where he was talking to children and you could see the kinder side of him.

AS FOR RAND. Wow. Let me tell you. Hang on. He's not my special favorite for nothing. (Really hard for me to decide whether he, or Elayne, who will be introduced in season 2, is my favorite character-- I flip back and forth constantly!)

But that did get me thinking-- the first book is mostly from Rand's POV, except for when they are all split up after Shadar Logoth and we get Perrin and Nynaeve telling the story as well, but then once they reunite it reverts back to solely Rand's POV again. Book 2 has a lot more POV changes in it, but is still Rand POV heavy. So, we simply get to know him really, really well right off the bat. In the ensemble-- especially with all of the stuff in the show trying to build mystery over who the Dragon Reborn is, and also, giving us lots of scenes and moments with characters who did not get POV time in the first book, perhaps he just doesn't have the same time-- ESPECIALLY because he is such an "interior" character-- so much of who he is is about what he is thinking and how he is feeling as opposed to what he is saying. We get a lot of moments in the show of Rand quietly looking out over the horizon, or watching his friends in concern, and that is very him.

And of course, he is on the path to the most gruesome and devastating hero's journey of all time. Being the Dragon Reborn in no way saves him from the horrors of being a male channeler, or from the horrors of the actions he will take. Part of why I love Rand so much as a character is that he goes through trauma and depression and PTSD and mental illness and physical disability with so much realism and there is just so much empathy in me for that journey.

So, to answer your question:

Rand is the only Dragon Reborn, but that doesn't mean that the others don't all play an integral role in facing the Dark One.

What's great about this is that this directly references something Min (the seer they meet in Fal Dara) tells Rand in the first book-- that all five of them are essential if they are to have any hope of winning the battle.

Moiraine herself contemplates early in the series that she was wrong to place so much importance on Rand alone; although he is the most important, in terms of winning the Last Battle, the others are also extremely important. This plays into how Rand is not the only one who is ta'veren. In the books, only Perrin and Mat are confirmed as also ta'veren, and the idea that maybe Egwene is too is played with but never confirmed (she's probably not, but there is enough gray area there to speculate). Making the female characters ta'veren as well is something that works well for the show, I think, and helps drive in this point that it is about the teamwork of these 5 young people (as well as the teamwork of many, many more).

(Interesting that you should ask if a soul can be split on reincarnation-- I remember this being a question that would come up back in Ye Olde Fandom Days 20 years ago. The answer is no! But the mechanics of reincarnation are probably going to get fleshed out further in season 2!)

#finnismyoriginalsin #asks #i can't believe you binged the whole season #I am so excited to flail with you about this

1 note · View note

samsspambox · 2 years

Text

luke pearce made me sob as if i haven't been crying all weekend

ima be talking about luke's birthday event story, specifically one scene.

tl;dr: luke could have thought the party popper was gunshot, but maybe i'm reading too much into it (tw: gunshots and insinuations of ptsd)

this image right here made me start crying all over again

this is right after the party popper. he's still surprised and he hugged rosa and said this and i burst out sobbing bc this boy has so much trauma (listen, luke buddy pal amigo, you gotta make me stop crying to your shit. i sobbed at the end of your personal story and you're the only one of the boys that has made me cry)

look, for this to make sense you have to understand that while there's this divide within luke when it comes to him and agent raven, the people that he "hurt" in the name of the NSB won't care about this distinction. they see agent raven and they see someone close to him and decide that that's the person they hurt bc agent raven fucked their shit up and they want revenge.

luke, on a fundamental level, must know this. he has to have lived through countless missions where someone he mildly cared about died. hell, we know how fucking dangerous his job is bc he almost fucking died in one! we know some people didn't fucking make it when it came to the same mission!

i think that's one of the things that he's afraid of when it comes to rosa. in his personal story he revealed that he wasn't even going to try to seek out rosa bc of his thing but i think it also had to do with rosa maybe being targeted by enemies of the state. it's his need to protect rosa that keeps him on edge. (cough cough rosa was experimented on as a child cough cough)

rosa calls him over saying they need some help right? and lowkey in code too. they could say 'come home, our old one' and i get that it's supposed to be cute! but in luke's mind they could have been using it to signal something else? you know that trope of 'i'm doing something out of the ordinary so that you know something is wrong'? YEAH THAT. he's already on edge and ready to jump in action. especially bc this is rosa and he hasn't talked to them all week! he already thinks that they hate him and that he made them mad! (*grabs a spray bottle* bAD LUKE! YOUR FRIENDS LOVE YOU)

and then the party popper happens.

do you see where i'm going with this?

luke's mentality is always in the 'worst case scenario' space. the second he heard that party popper he could have thought of the worst. rosa asked for his help but couldn't divulge the details? all the red flags.

now, i'm not saying that party poppers are loud, hell the tiny ones are offenseless. but we don't know what type of party popper rosa might have had in that moment. but the big ones? the ones for gender reveals? they can be big! or bc some are small, it could be the sound of a silencer?

luke probably thought someone had killed rosa and that he was too late. luke is the type of person that's like "let anything happen to me, but not to the ones i love" type of person. if rosa was gone? he'd break. we saw how a week made him antsy! but obviously rosa was right there so he couldn't have thought that, right?

but you don't just shut off your body's response to that shit, especially when it comes to a trained agent. he hides his agent raven side from rosa, who is to say he won't hide this reaction from them? hes probably so relieved at all of that! that rosa isn't dead and that it was all for him.

or maybe i'm just reading too much into it and he's literally surprised. idk y'all tell me.

thank y'all for coming to my tedtalk. now ill go back to my study hole and work on some physics problems

#ANGST #tot spoilers #tears of themis #luke pearce #spoilers for luke's birthday story #listen i'm already an emotional wreck this just added fuel to the fire #sam reads too much into things #sam rambles #listen i am a crybaby at heart and will start sobbing at the drop of a hat #yes sam knows how to put a read more on tumblr mobile suck it

85 notes · View notes

t0shii · 3 years

Text

hq boys when you're feeling anxious or stressed

suna rintaro, hinata shoyo, oikawa toru x gn!r

!warnings! mentions of anxiety, reader comparing themselves to others, mentions of food & hunger, driving. this is like all fluff no angst rlly tbh.

SUNA RINTARO.

he could tell something was up but conviced himself he shouldnt pry as he had already asked you twice if you were feeling alright, to which you reasurred him with a "yep" both times, it was suspicious but he thought maybe you just wanted to be left alone. meanwhile you weren't sure why you lied him, you obviously were not doing okay at the moment. currently he was driving you home and your anxiety was going absolutely crazy from the amount of school work that was piling up on you, it's unfair you thought to yourself, looking out the window. not only were you stressed from work but trying to keep up with your friend was hard, to say the least. they were phenomenal students, straight As in their transcript and though your grades were just fine, you couldn't help but feel inferior and insecure. it's unfair how effortlessly smart they are and how i'll never be able to catch up.... oh boy if your thoughts weren't running wild before they definitely were now, you hadn't even realized your boyfriend pulling into your driveway until he slightly tapped your shoulder. "are you sure you're alright? i don't wanna pressure you ofcourse but, you know you can tell me anything right?" ... and there were the water works! the little string holding you together had snapped just like that. you sat there in the passengers seat sobbing into your hands and suna rintaro hadn't a clue what to do in the moment.

"give me just a sec" you heard him mumble but not before he gave you a kiss as light as a feather on the top of your head. somehow you didn't notice him exit the car and rush to your side until he opened your door and hugged you so tight you honestly couldn't breathe. after a few seconds your boyfriend let go of the embrace which, to his dismay, only made you cry even harder. now, he knew he was known for being quite... stoic but he was definitely panicking on the inside and it was really difficult to remain calm on the outside. your boyfriend carefully reached over you to unbuckle the seatbelt that you had yet to unclasp. "lets go inside baby." his voice was so gentle it would've taken you by surprise had you not still been crying. you nodded in response and he helped you carefully out of the car, holding your hand all the way to the door, "d'ya have your key?" you nodded trying your best to unlock the door, after a few struggled and shakey attempts you finally had your door unlocked but not without rins help because he couldn't bare to watch you struggle any longer.

stepping inside rin helped you take your shoes off, removing his own after, "bedroom?" having calmed down a little you whispered "yes," with a small nod. he nodded with you in response and took you to your bedroom. after helping you change into comfy clothes he helped you into bed, crawling in right behind you. your back was snug against his chest and he held you super tightly, it was silent for a few minutes until finally he spoke up, "please tell me how i can help" you could feel your lip quiver. "well... you don't have to say anything right now, you know i can wait. i'll even leave if you want, i just wanted you to know that you can tell me whenever you're ready and that i'll listen." neither of you were sure when you'd be ready to admit what had gotten you so upset but you felt comfortable knowing suna rintaro would be there whenever you were ready, whether it be minutes from now or even months.

HINATA SHOYO.

your silence on the walk home was starting to concern him.. maybe im just talking too much... he thought, "hey... im sorry if im talking your ear off.. how was your day angel?" to say he was disappointed with your response would be an understatement. not thar you HAD to talk but usually you were talkative with him and the worry in his tummy was only growing more. a simple, "oh.. my day was alright sho," simply woundn't cut it! "hey, are you feeling okay?" it was silent for a few seconds before you answered a mumbled "i think so, are you feeling alright, sho?" he simply nodded with a "mhm" and you told him to continue on with his story from earlier.

he complied but only to fill the silence. hinata decided to trust you when you said you were okay because you know your own feelings and he knows for a fact he's made it clear before that you could and should let him know if something was bothering you. though you enjoyed listening to hinata's stories you only found yourself getting lost in your own mind whilst he rambled on.you could tell he was suspicious of your behavior but was grateful he had left his curiosity behind because you were sure you would snap if he had asked you if you were okay again, you really didn't want to cry in front of him. truth is, your thoughts were running wild, stressing over the smallest things; assignments due at the end of the week, what you were gonna get your boyfriend for your anniversary, how you were gonna make time for your friends surprise birthday party and helping sho with his studied all the while trying to take care of your own self and keep your own grades afloat. "y/n..? we're at your house.. are you sure your alright? you look a little pale, are you ill?" crap! how had you not noticed you were approaching your own driveway you wanted to slap yourself for being so clueless. you couldn't help but feel horrible for not listening to your boyfriends story also.

"yes sho i'm fine really, i just didn't have time to eat lunch today but i have food inside so don't worry m'may?" he looked at you suspiciously and you knew he was onto you, "y'know y/n, i'm not gonna force you to tell me what's going on but just know i'll always be here for you, okay?" he gave you a small smile before engulfing you into a tight hug, it honestly melted your heart. surprisingly, you didn't start crying on the spot. "y'know, i wanted to trust you when you said you were okay but now i'm not so sure if you were telling the truth," he mumbled into your shoulder. you sighed, giving up the facade. "sho.... i just don't know what to do honestly, i have alot on my plate right now and i'm really stressed with all the responsibilities ive piled onto myself," you admitted. he nodded lifting his head from your shoulder, giving you the brightest smile, "well, i can always help out! i might not be the mooost helpful person ever but i'll try my best, and if anything i'm good moral support!" you giggled at that but suddenly you felt your lip quiver from the sudden guilt you feeling, "i'm sorry for lying to you sho-", "hey! its alright! you dont need to apologize. especially dont need you crying on me now!" he smiled cupping your face in his hands, wiping away a few stray tears of whom managed to escape.

OIKAWA TORU.

you smile back at him and thought of how silly it was that you tried keeping your feelings a secret from your boyfriend of two years, hinata shoyo, feeling glad that you confided in him. he knew you were upset as soon as he saw you that very morning, he could read you like and open book and you knew that fact very well. still though, you tried your best to hide yourself from him, though it was hard considering you sitting right next to him in the passenger seat of his car. finally after a whole day of being worried sick, he was tired of leaving things left unsaid "babyyyy," he sang for you from the kitchen, "please come here a sec!" he yelled for you louder. soon you came trudging down the hallway, blanket wrapped around your body, he couldn't help but smile at how adorable his s/o looked.

"c'mere quickly," he said will a grin, opening his arms for a hug, which you gladly accept, wrapping your arms around his waist tightly. "now, i know you know that i know that you're not feeling well, so please tell me what's got my angel so upset?" he said softly rubbing his hand lightly over your back, his voice a little muffled from his cheek being squished against the top of your head. you let out a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding, "'m sorry tooru, i don't know what's wrong with me today.... just not feeling well." you felt him nod against your head in response, "well good thing your amazing boyfriend is here to make you feel all better huh?" you let a out small giggle at that. "you know you can tell me when you're feeling down right? you shouldn't keep things bottled up inside", "i know tooru... im sorry, i just dont really know wbat i'm feeling so down about though," you admitted shyly. "hey that's okay! there absolutely no need to apologize for that, here, look at me, angel," he tilts your face so you're looking up at him, his big soft hands holding your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks lightly, "i'm here whenever you figure it out, hell, even if you dont figure it out or there just isn't any reason at all. you know i'm always, always, always here. i promise you that, m'kay?" he finishes his little speech with a smile, smothering your face in kisses. you could only feel relieved, thankful and loved. because you knew that you would always have your soulmate, oikawa toru by your side.

( a/n ; ahh so im sorry if this has any spelling or grammatical errors it's sort of late as i'm writing this! and im too lazy to proof read.... also it might just all be word vomit and if it is im so sorry 😩 ++ i'm positive ive kept the reader gn throughout the whole thing but if there are slip-ups i promise i'll do better next time! i rlly wanted to write some hq boys when ur feeling anxious and beyond stressed because i have been MEGA struggling with my own anxiety lately, especially bc of school so i just needed to let my feelings go! anywhooo i hope everyone who reads this has an amazing day or night! ) p.s. im new to writing so be nice 2 me or whatever 😩🙄😌👍🏻

#oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa toru #oikawa headcanons #suna rintaro x reader #suna x reader #suna x y/n #suna rintaro headcanons #hinata shoyo #suna rintaro #hinata x reader #hinata x y/n #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fluff #rintaro x reader #shoyo x reader #toru x reader #sunni's works 📓

310 notes · View notes

mxvladdy · 3 years

Note

I have a prompt idea! The Brothers reacting to an MC that can regenerate after they die. Someone stabbed them? The wound will close in a bit. Did they fall from a high place and their body shattered? It’s all good, they’re body’ll just snap everything back into place as they’re conscious. We’re they poisoned? They’ll treat it like a stomach bug and be fine the next day. Funny part is MC could tell them the worst ways they died during their childhood in a lighthearted way which makes things more disturbing, especially since demon threats against them won’t work.

Ok first time I read this prompt I had a good laugh bc all I could think about was an MC that made that little squeaking noise those rubber chickens make when they inflate every time they regenerated lmaoooo. Could you imagine the pavlovian response all the brothers get if they hear a squeak? Like Lucifer would be trying to sleep and Cerberus finds one of his old chew toys and the fear it brings is legendary.

TW: Death, Blood, Injuries

Lucifer

When you first tell him he has no idea if it was a crude joke or not. You are so blasé about something that should traumatize you. He hates how you snort at his every threat. What good is blackmail if you don’t go for it?

He does not believe you at first. Just another little human talking big trying to impress him. He would keep a keen eye on you too, making sure they have no reason to get even so much of a scrape on their knee. Believe you or not he doesn’t need this program to fail. Then Belphie happened. Seeing your lifeless body made so many things happen in his mind he felt physically ill. He hadn’t felt like crying so hard since Lilith…

And then you sit up and crack your spine, like you were waking up from a nap instead of getting up after being thrown from the second story.

He-is relieved, and terrified. Were humans supposed to do that? He doesn't remember reading this particular ability in his father’s schematics. He believes you now nonetheless.

But he still doesn’t let you just go getting hurt whenever you feel like it.

“Absolutely not.” He shakes his head firmly. He is unfazed by your cute little pout and huffing.

“Lotan is friendly!” You try again pushing the form back at him defiantly. Lucifer picks it up again against his better judgment and scoffs. Friendly, if Lotan is friendly then Cerberus was a saint. “Come on what’s the worst that can happen? I’m out of school for a day or two if things get dicey.” You plead leaning up and over his desk. Ugh. He rubs at his temple in annoyance.

“The fact that you think skipping a few days of school because you became fish food as a minor hindrance terrifies me.” He drolls but picks up his feathered quill irregardless. You squeal in delight and hug him fiercely, managing to pull a smile out of him. They grab the liability agreement and run out the door already shouting for Levi to hurry up before Lucifer changes his mind. He chuckles leaning back in his chair. Fine, if they are happy… let it be on their head if it severs. Wait- could they regenerate from that? “Shit.”

Mammon

He believes you. Not because he takes their word for it but the first night on duty as your caretaker you fall out of his balcony window.

One minute they are having a heated argument about his unwanted duties, him hovering over you while you lean up against the railing refusing to break eye contact. Next thing he knows the old stone gives and you both tumble.

He has wings and catches himself. You- not so much. He can still hear the sickening crunch of bone meeting stone when he lays awake at night. The first thing he worries about is how much trouble he would be in with Lucifer that he failed again. He's a blubbering mess over your body swearing he would do better if they would just get up. Whatever you want it’s theirs if you just open their eyes.

And of course, you do. He won’t admit to the scream that erupts from his mouth when you ask him to swear on that deal or they are going to Lucifer as soon as they can feel their legs. He agrees readily, glad his hide is saved for now.

When you two become closer he figures why not make some money off of this little quirk. Enter the troublesome duo of grifters.

You whimper, hamming it up for the terrified looking demon glazing between your broken leg and Mammon wiggling his ring heavy fingers at them. “Look what ya did to my human.” He tuts. “What, ya don’t look both ways when riding.” He kicks at the upended bike by his feet. The demon sputters swearing that they did and neither of them had been in the way.

“Mammon~” His human sniffles flashing him a teary eyed pout. To the other lesser demon it looked like a plea, but Mammon knew it was a warning that your leg would start mending soon.

“Who do you think is gonna pay for this?” He goes in for the kill waving his free arm down at his human’s prone form. “You want Lucifer or Diavolo ta hear about this? Ya know this human is special to us.” The demon blanches and shakes its head. Terrified it threw its wallet at the avatar of greed and bolted leaving their bike and bag behind. Waiting for the demon to be completely out of earshot Mammon turns with a dazzling smile. “Damn,” He whistles, helping his human back to their feet. Already the bone and skin had mended leaving only an ugly red stain on the fabric of their uniform. “I think you just moved up the ranks of my most favorite things. Gonna rival Goldie soon if this picks up...” He opens the wallet and pockets the handful of cash in it, tossing the worn fabric to the street floor.

“Hey.” Mammon looks down at you. You were now scowling eying his pant pocket. “Don’t forget your side of the bargain.” He chuckles raising his hands in defeat.

“Alright- Alright. One stupidly expensive ice cream coming up.” He can't hide his blush when you hug his arm close to your chest, excitedly leading him back to the main street.

Leviathan

Oh like in that one anime???

But really, he is the first to take your word for it. Finds it kinda neat. Not that he is going to test it. Who would he have to play with if you were just yanking his chain?

He listens to absolutely spine chilling tales of your little “mishaps” as a child. But you brush off his concern. Don’t worry about it! Makes for great stories. To tell right?

Of course, when he sees it first hand he forgets for a moment that you would eventually feel better. He left his tank open one night to clean out some debris gunking up the water pump. Damn things get stalled so frequently now. He turns his back for a moment to get a tool and the next he smells human blood in the water!

He scoops you out of the water before whatever fiendish creatures he holds in his aquarium can take a bite and gets you to solid ground. He is panicking hardcore, he doesn’t feel a pulse. He sees that they smashed their head, blood pooling sluggishly down your temple. You must have slipped on the wet tank edge and hit their head.

Just when he is about to name another Henry in your honor you pop up spitting out whatever water that had gotten into their lungs. They flash him a knowing smirk at his red-rimmed eyes and joke that they have a killer headache.

Nurse Levi to the rescue!

Levi checks in on you again, leaning over the edge of his tank. “D-don’t you move a muscle!” He shouts down to you. Squinting he sees a hand emerging from the mound of pillows and blankets inside his tub-bed. you shoot him a quick thumbs up before turning your attention back to his giant flat screen. “You sure you don’t need Barbatos or some pain meds?” He frets. He was close to just giving up on the pump and coming to take care of his miraculously healed guest.

“Levi I’m fine! Not even sleepy.” Your muffled reply wafts up to him. You push down some of the blankets to give him a relaxed smile. “See not even a scar.” You show him the side of their head that had been cut. Sure enough, nothing was there but a smoothed patch of skin. It lessens some of his panic, but barely. He knew internal damage was still a thing to humans.

Finishing up quickly with the pump he slithers back down to your side sheepishly. He had apologized what felt like a thousand times, but he was ready to drop a couple thousand more if need be. His looming causes you to look up from the anime you were watching. The flashing blue and yellow lights illuminate their calm gaze. None of the panic he felt seemed to transfer to you. “Want to join me?” You pat at the covers. “Waters warm.” You chuckle at their own joke pulling the blue covers down and away to give him room to join them.

“I-if you’re sure.” He stammers wiping at his face to hide his flush. You nod, patting the empty side again. He joins you snuggling close, he runs a hand where a gruesome scar had been not even an hour again. You nuzzle in close. His slightly cool fingers felt great on your skin before turning back to the screen completely nonplussed.

What a weird human...

Satan

Much like Lucifer doesn’t believe you. He has never heard or read about humans being able to do that. Will not believe them and gets annoyed by the “fake” stories you kept insisting were real.

The fact that a single human has such a vividly morbid imagination fascinates him, but he won’t divulge in your little fantasy. There is only so much foolishness he can deal with.

He forgets about it after a while and you stop bringing it up. If he doesn’t believe you so be it, he’ll find out one day surely, you aren’t exactly the most careful with your body. When he does find out it about does him in.

He had warned them of climbing on his bookshelves. He doesn’t have them tethered down or stable. He doesn’t need them to be. His shelves would never even dare to topple on him. But this weak little human takes his room as a personal jungle gym, climbing up him and his things for a book. They could just ask but Devil’s forbid they did something halfway intelligent.

You hear him fretting through the fog coating your senses. His fingers shakily poking at your crushed abdomen and legs all bent akimbo clearing broken. “Don’t be dead-please don’t do this.” He hisses about ready to use magic to put you back together again. You pull your strength and grab his hand before he can interfere with your natural healing ability.

He starts, green eyes looking down relieved and amazed at you. “Don’t.” You croak, already feeling your lungs and rib cage healing. “I’m good.”

“You’re good!” He shouts voice cracking in exasperation. “I’ve seen the aftermath of Beel’s feeding rampages that have looked better!” You snort pushing his hands away to rest up on your elbows. Eh- he wasn’t exactly wrong.

“I look like a chewed-up burger huh?” You joke laughing at his stunted and slightly disgusted look. “I’ll be ok, just help me up? My legs are always tingly after healing.” Wordlessly he follows your instructions amazed at how well you are handling all of this. Were you actually human? You stand on wobbly legs bending and popping your joints. You give yourself a quick check over “Tada!” You give him two very bloody thumbs ups once you see that you are back to normal. “It’s all good!”

He shakes his head bewildered. “I-if you say so.” Satan wrinkles his nose looking at the mess of your clothes and his room. “Go wash up. I’ll get you a new set of clothes and work on this mess.” You nod already heading to his slightly cleaning bathroom. His warm hand wraps around your wrist catching you mid stride. “Don’t tell anyone about this ok?” He pleads. If anyone knew that he had been so foolish, he would never live it down.

You nod miming zipping your lips. “Betcha believe me know huh?”

He rolls his eyes turning to the task at hand. “Don’t push your luck, or next time I’ll leave you under a shelf.”

Asmodeus

Believes you. You have never lied before so why do it now over something so trivial. Humans die all the time and if you say you can't then ok. He asks tons of questions about how you found out about this.

He doesn't like the stories you tell but doesn't find it off-putting how easily you talk about it. He's been around the block with mortals and they cope in all sorts of ways.

He cuddles you and coos over every story you tell then shoots off hundreds of compliments about your complexion. It's amazing how well your skin holds up to all the foolish actions of your past.

Even though he trusts you and your stories he still is super careful with you. You are not going to get hurt on his watch, absolutely not! Will patch you up if you need it all while gripping about your foolishness.

But accidents happen, and even the most watchful demon trips up sometimes.

Asmo tuts over you rubbing at the potion burning away at your flesh. "I told you the maroon bottle love." You hiss as the antiseptic hits muscle.

"Maroon and burgundy look the same, bite me!" He clicks his tongue and bites off the argument brewing within him. How can you not see how different the two colors are. You grouch some more while he works on getting the rest of his potion off your cheek. You had just wanted to use one of his acne toner, the one that smelled like cucumber and rose. He was preoccupied with his eyeliner but told you to just grab it from his shelf. He had a lot of bottles and a lot of them were definitely not for human use.

You unfortunately just happened to pick one of them. The one you nabbed was a toner built for his stronger skin. It ate away at your cheeks and flesh of your palm on contact. It's burning and tingling making you yelp in surprise. Luckily for you, Asmo acted fast coming up from behind and knocking the toner-soaked cotton pad from your reddening fingers. He curses at you the whole way to his bathroom. Done with your right cheek and hand he nods in approval, seeing your flesh already knitting back together. "At least you have lovely bone structure. Ahhh~ I'm jealous!" He pokes a nail at the exposed bone of your cheekbone. The mending muscles and nerves almost growing over his nail before he could pull away. You quirk a brow.

"Want them? I'm pretty sure I could regrow my jawline before anybody would notice. " You shrug taking the washcloth from him to dap at your left cheek. Asmo laughs, it was a ridiculously tempting offer after all.

"Could you?" He taps at his own chin in thought. You glance back at him and sits on the toilet. In theory, you probably could. Hadn't happened...yet.

"Ye- just give me a heads up first? And maybe some good booze to knock me out." You say only half-joking. Asmo nods eagerly, twirling a lock of soft tawny hair. He might take you up on the offer.

Beelzebub

He doesn't want to know and he never wants to find out. He just likes you too much to see you get hurt :(. It gets to the point where you cannot bring any past stories of incidents (no matter how funny you think they are). If a story comes out be prepared to be carried everywhere by this gentle giant. If you won't cease your foolishness then he will.

Though he probably should have heard a few of the stories. Mostly the ones about poisons and inedible things you use to eat. A lot of his world revolves around food and he loves to share it with you.

He never heard you complain about the foods he had you try with him. It wasn't until Simeon and Luke tagged along did he learn the awful truth that he had been poisoning you almost every time you two went out.

Takes him forever to get out of his head about it. You are clearly fine and never brought it up because you just loved spending time bonding with him.

You find him in the ally behind the restaurant. His massive form curled in on itself from where he sat. "Why didn't you tell me?" He rumbles hearing you approach to stand next to him. "I could have killed you." You sit squat next to him resting your arms on your knees.

"I mean...if we are keeping count it would be dead about eight times over by this point." You meant it to be funny but he groans in anguish pulling at his hair. You grab his fists and pry them from his scalp. "Hey! Hey!" You pat his knuckles, eyes filled with concern. "I'm still here right, still kicking and eating all these awesome foods, don't worry. Please?" You can tell your words do not calm him but he doesn't pull from your grasp either. "If you are curious, all the foods that would have done me dirty just gave me some bad cramps and gas for the evening. Nothing a tum and hot tea couldn't fix." You fill the air with useless chatter, all while stroking his knuckles.

You really wish that Luke hadn't said anything. Simeon had read the room, his neat brown brows raising in astonishment as you sank into the meal Beel bought for you. But he otherwise stayed silent tucking into his own meal without a fuss. You couldn't completely blame Luke though. He was young and just looking out for you. Though, he-well- both of you could have handled it better. With him screaming and you screaming, it was a recipe for disaster.

Beel rises a few minutes later rubbing at his burning eyes. "Are you sure you are ok?" He checks in with you once more. You nod perking up as you see him grunt in acceptance. "Just let me know next time you can't eat something."

"But it tastes good!" You pout. He frowns not budging from his spot until he sees you sigh in defeat and agree. No more purposely poisoning yourself just for munchies. "Fine-but you are just saying that to get extra portions."

Belphegor

He finds out when he kills your dumbass for believing him. It totally harshed his vibe.

Here he was getting an amazing monologue, reveling in his eldest's brothers' anguish and look of anger from the prince. He was ready to give his final performance and hopefully wipe the floor with that red-headed bastard plans to "commingle"

He tossed your "lifeless" body from him, taking a sick amount of pleasure in the way your body flopped down the stairs. He notices how the other brothers seem completely unfazed by your corpse at their feet.

Huh? Perhaps they didn't understand the actions he did. Or maybe they truly have given into the demons they had become. He stops his tirade only when he watches Asmo bend down and poke at your cheek. He didn't look sad, just merely annoyed. Like you were taking too long to get up.

But that is impossible. You would never get up again...

Mammon rolls his eyes at his youngest brother's actions. Honestly, he loved the little edge lord, but this was ridiculous. He had a racket to go check on. His hand drifts down slowly to his pocket. If he just angled it right he could probably check his phone without looking rude. He makes eye contact with Satan and jerks his head exasperatedly at Lucifer and Belphegor going at it. The blonde shakes his head and shrugs. Slowly he inches closer so Mammon can go on his phone without getting caught. Covering for Mammon Satan looks around the room feigning interest.

Beelzebub and Leviathan seemed mildly more attentive to what was going on than him. The latter of the two eating it up like an arch in an anime, while the former was trying desperately to placate his twin. Asmodeus on the other hand was having none of this. He plops down next to your body turning your head to face him. He checks you over quietly ignoring the storm exploding out of his elder brother and the rest of the gang. "Honestly darling," He strokes the bridge of your nose, feeling the bone and cartilage shifting back into place beneath his finger. "is this a good time to ask if I can have your jawline?" He sees the corner of your lips twitch. He leans in and whispers in your ear. "How long are you going to play dead?"

"Am I boring you, brother?" Asmo glances up from his position over your head. Belphegor looks down at his face apoplectic with rage at being ignored. "And I see you on your phone Mammon!"

"Shove it! I got shit to do!"

Asmo gets to his feet dusting off his pants and ruffles. He shrugs up at Belphie who was doing a great interpretation of Lucifer when angry. He was so much like Lucifer it was scary sometimes. "Sorry honey! Just check on my bestie."

Belphie snorts making his way down to the first floor. "Just checking I killed-"

You pop up grunting loudly as your spine reconnects. "Help your bestie up?" You raise a hand for Asmo who happily takes it. You turn your back to a dumbfounded Belphie and Lucifer, both not understanding what just happened.

"About time." Mammon sighs pocketing his phone. "I got some idiots we can swindle out of some grimm."

"Oi!" Satan butts in cutting Mammon off. "You had your turn! I have some spells they said they would help me test out."

You grin, not fighting it as the two tug at you like a toy between toddlers.

"Enough!" The two jump away from you at Lucifer's roar. You squeak in surprise when a firm leather-gloved hand spins you around so you could stand face to face with a fully shifted Lucifer. "You!" He runs his hands over you in disbelief. "How..." Your first conversation with him comes back to mind.

I can't die so try to threaten me with something else next time K?

"Would someone tell me WHAT is going on and why they are still breathing!" Belphie pushes through to you and Lucifer.

Beel grabs him up before he could get his claws into you again, stroking his dark hair like you would an angry cat. "It's a long story..."

#obey me #obey me requests #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #tw: death #tw: body horror

170 notes · View notes

vinatintasupernovita · 3 years

Note

You hinted at a Pestilence and Bloody Mary storyline... let's see if Pestilence is able to serve as a great ally to the Queen who had much owed to her after over twenty years of hardships, finally becoming Queen.

Oh this ones an interesting idea! this is a bit of a long one so i’m gonna put it under read more

Pestilence hadn’t spent much time in England when Mary was a child- He had been busy rousing the rest of the world with new sicknesses while his sister War was playing along with the royal family in England, visiting them from time to time.

They exchanged a few letters over that time- War talked of how the queen had just had a baby girl and how the fumbling jackass of a king was still disappointed he hadn’t had a son in the mean time. (The horsepeople hadn’t seen any reason for gender or gender in politics to even exist, but they supposed it was just a human thing.) And how Pestilence should visit soon, leave a little hay fever on Henry’s pillow so he’d he too busy sneezing to be talking. He thought it was funny for sure, and the idea stuck. He hadn’t been there in awhile.

Funny enough, Pestilence arrived to the country a few years later- shortly after Catherine of Aragon passed away. He and War met up for a drink to talk before she left and he came in- she was starting to grow tired of this damn place, as she had extended her stay after Catherine’s divorce to be a good friend.

War asked that he be easy on Mary if he ever tried to cause trouble for the royal family- she was sick already and getting worse now that her mother was gone.

There was an unspoken understanding with the horsepeople- friends are rare for creatures like them, so they do right by them. War wasn’t fond of children, but Mary was Catherine’s- she might as well look out for her as she always had, even now when she was an adult. Besides, she had a fighting spirit War hadn’t seen in years. She could be useful later.

Pestilence hadn’t the time to run into the royals personally for awhile- Famine was keeping them busy with his sneaking and scheming in court life which he found hilariously ironic. Pestilence heard all of the news of course- a queen beheaded, a son born, another queen died, and another just divorced! It must’ve been quite the show from the inside. Plus, a bit of his influence made its way to the king who was constantly fighting an illness or two, so he was proud of that.

The 5th queen dies by execution and Famine comes to ask Pestilence to make the king worse, because he explains the situation and yeah, marrying a child bride is really fucked up and even supernatural entities agree with that. So, Pestilence agrees bc family and Henry dies slowly and painfully and Famine leaves the court, now it’s Pestilence’s turn to worm his way in.

While delivering medicine herbs (that have all rotted away and are practically poisonous now) he runs into Mary Tudor- he recognized her from the descriptions War had given him a long time ago- reddish hair and blue eyes and has a little bit of ghastly look to her, almost ghostly. So he thinks great, he can help her out. Problem, she’s not Queen bc her 9-year-old brother is now king.

Pestilence might’ve laughed in her face- but all and all it was a decent first meeting. She would consult him as a “medical professional” whenever someone in the court was ill and even when she herself was sick. They got along swimmingly, and she would invite him to the many court parties- people would always get sick after, but they paid no mind.

He asked how she could be ok with her tween brother taking the throne before her, and in her words she loved her brother despite his insistence that she convert from catholicism to protestant. (That was a wedge that continued to grow for time to come.) And Pestilence respected that, as he knew his family had their ups and downs too.

Then came the Christmas where Mary and her brother Edward fought so hard that they both ended up in tears and stormed out of the room. Yikes. Mary would claim to hate the little brat and then wish to be queen- to rule this country right! and well, Pestilence was good at helping those he was close with.

Edward died at 15, and named his cousin Jane Queen. Mary was furious- first he tries to disinherit her, so she ran, then now she names their cousin queen? She had enough. She assembled an army in two days to take their cousin down with even the help of her half-sister- and Pestilence remembered the fire War spoke of. He saw it now, clear as day.

Mary’s reign was turbulent to say the least. She married into the Hapsburgs (Pestilence remembered those freaks clearly, but Mary insisted to leave it be) and had a pregnancy scare- Pestilence was the one at her bedside the whole time, as he was the closest “doctor” she knew. He tried to talk his way out of it incase his influence hurt the child, but Mary insisted. And then it turned out to be a false alarm, and Pestilence couldn’t of been more relieved.

Mary became a harsh ruler, killing in the name of her religion- Pestilence stayed as the one person who never feared her since she couldn’t kill him if she tried. Not that she would, but it was a point to be made. He was proud that she finally got the power she deserved- with an upbringing like hers it must’ve seemed hopeless sometimes. At least she had a friend who believed in her.

Mary had another false pregnancy, and once again Pestilence stayed at her side the whole time. She only got sicker from then on and it was clear she wouldn’t get any better. Pestilence hoped- if for only a moment- that his influence could stop and she would be ok. He thought if he just left, maybe that would do something, anything- she didn’t deserve to die like this.

But, running away couldn’t do anything. He knew that. He knew it wouldn’t just disappear if he did too. And Mary needed a friend there for her.

He stayed with her until her last breath and left England the day after her burial. He made sure to tell War all about how intensely Mary led her nation, and how she was good hearted and talented and wished for the best. She was seen as a monster by many- but to a monster of humanity? She was just a good friend

#hope you like that i didn’t know a whole lot abt bloody mary #good omens #pestilence good omens #fresa’s fics #fresa is rambling

6 notes · View notes

lizacstuff · 3 years

Text

Edser/SCK anon asks (36 spec)

I accidentally deleted an ask that was interesting, if you don’t see yours here, resend it!

(Asks below the cut)

Anonymous said: Do you think that scene of Eda confronting Selin about it is the end of the episode? I'm so drained, Liza. When will this suffering end?

Oh honey, we have SUFFERED. We have. No doubt about it, but I’ll talk more about that in a minute. (We can overcome)

First the fragman, could it be the end of the episode? I suppose so. It’s no fun thinking that it might be the cliffhanger and we have to live with that for 11 days instead of 4, but here’s the interesting thing, according to people who look closely at these things, the outfit Eda was wearing when confronting Selin, Hande was wearing that today while filming at Art Life. We also know that at Art Life the set was dressed for some sort of party or event. An event that had the word ‘love’ on the table. So which comes first? The confrontation with Selin or the Art Life scenes that do not include Deniz or Selin?? I don’t know. The other wild card factor is Bige’s availability. I’m sure most people have heard by now that, sadly, her father passed away this week. This show does not work on a timeline where they can wait. So they might have had to write her out of a few scenes already in this episode, and it’s unknown what her availability will be for next episode. That could end up changing things a bit, so we’ll see. Maybe there will be a second fragman that gives us more context.

Now back to feeling drained by this storyline. I get you. I feel you. But here’s how you shake if off. Boil it down for yourself. Why do you continue to watch this show? I’m going to guess it’s for the same reason I continue to watch this show. Edser. Eda and Serkan are still magic together in every single scene, and Hande and Kerem’s chemistry can turn even the most turgid, ill-advised story or scene into gold. They are worth watching whether they are looking into each other’s eyes or reading the phone book.

So... my advice is to emotionally distance yourself from the plot. The plot is just the device to keep these two actors on screen together playing these two characters. And that sentence is truer for this show than for any other show I’ve ever watched (and I’ve watched A LOT of shows.) It’s all about these two characters and these two actors. So ultimately the plot doesn’t matter. Let the plot go. There is nothing to worry about, Edser is endgame, Edser is the reason this show exists, they are all the matters on this show. So knowing that, just enjoy their individual scenes, appreciate them for what they are and don’t tie yourself into knots over the nonsense these hack writers throw at us. It will all be fine in the end.

Anonymous said: I kinda find it funny that what Erdem suggested turned out to be the way Serkan got his memory back. It was a scene fit for a romcom. Obviously it wasn't how I pictured him to remember but at this point I'll take it. Lol! Erdem should be a fortune teller or something!

You’re right. Erdem was on the right track. It would have been funnier if Erdem had hit him to get his memory back and once it worked, then Engin could have held Serkan down, while Erdem continued to bonk him in the head to bring back more memories.

Anonymous said: i totally feel the mixed feelings with the fragman, but it seems like its an ep with great edser moments where they're together and trying to solve this problem, at the same time they just couldn't keep the drama out of the fragman this time?! at a time where everyone is relieved and positive for the first time in weeks?! just seems like a bad move by the production imo and i'm not even that concerned with the plot like others are. another anon said this, but there is def selin fatigue

Selin fatigue is real!!!! But to be honest I was in Selin fatigue by ep 29. And it’s just gotten worse episode by episode. (though we had a bit of a reprieve from her in 34-35) but the fragman brought the fatigue back with a vengeance. The producer has tweeted before about how the show has to have drama, so, I guess that’s where we are. Drama. They think this is what sells, I guess?

They produce those fragman’s with the Fox viewer in Turkey in mind. So perhaps that’s the kind of tease that works well there? I have no idea. Honestly, I think they’re not worried about online fans and international fans because they know we’re so invested that we won’t give up.

Anonymous said: Normally i would also calm down with the pregnancy thing, it’s probably selin’s last desperate attempt at keeping serkan BUT you know why it scares me? Because they’ll probably introduce the “Kemal is Serkan’s biological father” storyline and I hope that it’s not correlated to selin’s fake pregnancy...like, Serkan would never leave Eda but this Kemal thing will probably remind him how he never had a real father growing up so i hope this doesn’t push him to be by Selin’s side. However, it’s also true that I really don’t think that he and Selin had s*x so I also don’t think they can follow this path. I’m so confused I think we just need to wait and see haha

Yes, we need to wait and see. I see no reason to go down this speculation path unless we’re forced to, because it seems very unlikely to me. Clear it from your mind, and then, if the worst happens, we’ll deal with it then, not now.

Anonymous said: Idk if u follow sck news on twitter but they posted pics/vids from set today in the office and it looks like a party with food and a sign that says “better together”. Someone commented a theory that serkan will orchestrate a surprise engagement party for eda while she talks to Selin and the ep will end with her turning down the proposal bc Selin is “pregnant” and then we have to wait for the next ep for serkan to tell her it’s not possible 🤡🤡 what do u think?

Yep, I follow sck news, who doesn’t? ;) I think this speculation is plausible, and as long as she’s upfront with Serkan about why and Serkan is able to shut it down immediately next ep, then I can live with this as a cliffhanger.

Anonymous said: Part 1. You mentioned in a previous ask how Engin didn't tell Eda that Serkan remembered everything when he made it in time for the wedding. Honestly his lack of action was not surprising, upsetting or disappointing. That's just who Engin is. He's a talker, not a doer. Engin is Serkan's friend similar to how Ceren and Fifi are Eda's friends (I'm talking pre amnesia plot). They care about their friend's happiness. Engin has always talked reason to Serkan especially about his feelings for Eda.

Part 2. But Engin's reason for doing that is Serkan's happiness. Of course he wants Eda's happiness but mostly only because it's tied to Serkan's happiness. He has stood up for Eda before like when Serkan accused her of working with Kaan or when he said she deserves to know the truth about her parents death, but whatever Serkan says goes. He never acts in opposition to him. So if Serkan says he won't stop the wedding, Engin isn't going to do anything despite believing Eda should know the truth.

Here’s the problem with this, it’s not just him not caring about Eda. It’s him not caring about Serkan. He should have done it for Serkan, knowing that Serkan would regret his inaction the rest of his life. It costs him nothing to tell Eda at that moment and let her make the decision.

That’s one of my biggest problems with this cockamamie plot. From the first Fragman of 29, I said it was impossible that Selin could have hidden him away and rekindled her relationship with him because the other character wouldn’t allow it. Oh but they did. This storyline ruined pretty much every single supporting character, (outside of Melo) because otherwise, if they would have acted in-character or even like normal humans, it never would have worked. And that continued all the way up to this stupid fake/real wedding. Writers... if you have to ruin every supporting character to bend and twist and make it so your antagonist isn’t immediately jailed or carted away to a mental hospital, that is a sign that it doesn’t work and you need to go back to the drawing board.

Anonymous said: I have to say, they really do well with the casting on SCK. Especially when they want actors who look like they are related. Eda and her grandmother looked like they were related. It was great casting. Now Serkan and the new character look like they could be related. They have similar features. If the point is for us to speculate that they are father and son, I think they did a good job.

Yes, they really do. I’ve also always thought that Neslihan looks like she could be Kerem’s mother, they have the same coloring. Evrim looks like she could be related to Hande. They have done a great job with that.

Anonymous said: That fragman for ep 36...part of me wants to hope that it will all be solved pretty soon, since we got edser separated for so long we deserved them together now. But part of me also knows these writers suck so I’m expecting the worst. I just wanted edser together again 😭

You and me both, babe. You and me both.

In the meantime, lets remember to enjoy this show while it lasts. And if we can’t enjoy the plot, as I said above, let’s think about the things we can enjoy. So if in this episode there are a dozen great Edser scenes and then one that rips out our hearts... let’s concentrate on the dozen, okay? The one that rips out our hearts will resolve itself soon enough.

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal Kapimi #Edser #sck speculation #sck 1x36 #sck discussion #sckask #asklizac #anonymous

14 notes · View notes

alloverthegaf · 4 years

Note

Rk1k thing bc I need more ppl to scream at: postrevolution, Connor struggles w/ mental illness & trauma plus discrimination from both sides. He decides he needs to escape it all and drops off Jericho’s radar. Everyone’s worried until one day an android who left a suicide note comes back w/ a new outlook on life. Connor found em and was able to help from his own struggles. He becomes known as the Deviant Shepherd over time, and Markus falls in love w a Connor who’s found a life worth living!

omg that sounds beautiful!!

WHOOPS I WAS GONNA WRITE LIKE 2 PARAGRAPHS OF NOT FIC AND KEPT GOING AND IT SLOWLY MORPHED SO BY THE END IT’S AN ACTUAL FIC LMAO

Connor’s sort of getting close to that point himself when he comes across this other android who really just doesn’t believe they can handle all of this anymore. Their stress is always so high they almost see the act as like a sick joke, a pre emptive self-destruct. Connor can relate.

He doesn’t expect to meet this android, he doesn’t even expect to try and talk him out of it. Later he insists it was simply his negotiation instincts coming to the forefront. But he convinces the android to wait, to stop and to talk to Connor. Just... have a conversation with him. The clinching point is when Connor finally admits that he understands. All too well. That’s what convinces the other android to give him - to give life - one more chance.

They talk. And talk, and talk, mostly about the other android’s trauma, but slowly Connor opens up about his own issues. The other android recognises Connor, knows who he is - everyone does, after the march, after the speech. It’s one of the reasons he decided to disappear, in the end. Couldn’t walk down the street without stares, whispers, at best. Hatred, vitriol, suspicion at worse. On a couple of times, violence.

The breaking point was when a group of androids trashed Hank’s house, where Connor had been staying. No one had been home at the time, not even Sumo, thank RA9, but Connor knew next time it might be different. He couldn’t allow that. He couldn’t let Hank or Sumo get hurt because of him.

So, anyway, the android recognises him, but there’s no suspicion or hate in his eyes, because a guy who talks someone out of ending their own life doesn’t seem like much of an assassin to him. They talk, and they bond, and they spend about a week together, just... Existing. Knowing that around the other, they can exist, however they need to, without judgement. Without questions.

This is only the start.

Two weeks later, the android - let’s call him Michael - goes back to his best friend’s apartment, where he’d been staying before he’d committed to taking his life. He’d wanted to do it far away from Samantha, the human woman who had been as kind to him before the revolution as she was after. He comes back, and he tells her about the android that saved his life. He doesn’t give details, understands Connor’s need for isolation and privacy right now. He later tells Markus; Markus does his best to keep tabs on androids that go missing, at least in the local area, and he’s relieved to find out Michael is home and safe.

He looks tired when he visits, which isn’t a surprise; leading a revolutoin is certainly a job Michael would never want. But he lights up when he sees him, hugs him and murmurs “I’m so glad you’re okay” like Michael is a part of his inner circle, not just some name on a list that Markus looks over every day.

Michael is honest about why he left, even though he feels ashamed. He can’t lie to Markus. He explains that he was preparing to end it, through stuttered sentences and averted eyes, and explains that another android saved him. Again, he doesn’t give specifics, but Markus is of curious.

“Who was this man? What did he look like?” Markus asks. He’s leaning forward on the couch, holding his hands tightly together. He looks intent, suddenly.

“Um - I “ Michael cannot lie to Markus. But he can’t betray Connor’s trust either. “I can’t say. I’m sorry.”

Markus frowns for a moment, but then leans back and looks away. A small smile crawls along his lips, and he nods. “It’s okay. I think I have an idea.” He focuses on Michael again. “How was he?”

“Struggling,” admits Michael. “But... I think maybe I helped him too.”

Over the next two months more and more androids start talking about the Good Samaritan, as they call him. Some are in similar situations to Michael, looking for a way to escape and being reminded of the reasons to keep fighting. Others are simply in trouble - homeless androids are quietly led to shelter, androids who fall victim to violence are defended. They talk about his kind and quiet nature, the way he looks at them with understanding instead of sympathy. They exclaim about how fast and brave he is in a fight. None of them admit to his identity. He’s garnered a loyalty he never asks for with the downtrodden, the depressed, the androids who are finding their lives just as hard, and often harder, post-revolution.

A YK500 tells Markus excitedly about how the man who helped her find her way to Jericho spent days showing her amazing coin tricks to cheer her up after being abandoned. Markus smiles, his shoulders dropping in relief.

Finally, six months after Connor disappeared, Hank calls Markus. Their boy’s home.

Markus doesn’t intend on kissing the daylights out of Connor in Hank’s living room, the moment he lays eyes on him, but he just. Can’t not, after missing him and worrying about him for so long, after hearing story after story of Connor’s compassion, his innate need to help, to do something. Hank curses and complains and walks out of the room in protest.

“Hi,” Markus says breathlessly when they finally break apart.

“Hi,” Connor says back. He looks flushed, and a little bewildered, like he hadn’t been more than happy to stick his tongue down Markus’ throat a moment ago. “Um. Is this a new greeting you’ve decided on while I’ve been gone?”

While I’ve been gone. Like he was on a holiday, off seeing the sights. Not missing and silent and giving Hank and Markus all kinds of nightmares. Markus moves his hands to the collar of Connor’s shirt (still so smartly dressed, even now, the shit) and grips tightly. Shakes Connor, just a little, just enough to make sure he gets the message. “Don’t ever do that again. Please.”

Connor has the grace to look sheepish. “You were worried.”

“Of course I was worried, you - “ Markus takes a breath, wills himself to stay calm. Figure’s it’s not a good idea to have their first fight two minutes after their first kiss. “Why, Connor? Why did you leave like that?”

Connor, lips downturn. He holds Markus’ hands in his own, gently pulls them away from his collar until they’re standing with their hands held between them. “I’m sorry. I - I had to. I was so adrift here, Markus, so - “ he looks away. “So scared. I felt like I didn’t belong. No...” he takes a moment to think and Markus stays quiet, aware of how rare it is for Connor to open up so thoroughly. “I felt like I shouldn’t exist.”

Markus makes a choked sound in his throat. Thinks of that first android Connor had talked back from the ledge. Connor smiles gently at him. “I don’t feel that way anymore. Really. I met so many others that felt so similarly to me...” he laughs, short and sharp. “Can you believe I thought that I was the only one? But no, so many people - so many androids - who needed someone else in their corner, needed someone to just. Pick them up. Hold them steady, for a moment. I... I’d never thought I could be that someone, before. It helped.” He smiles wider at Markus. It reaches his eyes this time, makes them crinkle at the corners in a way that is so rare and so, so precious.

Markus ducks in and kiss him again, because he can’t help it, because Connor looks so beautiful like this, calm and genuinely happy. “I’ll pick you up, next time you need someone,” he whispers, knowing it’s cheesy and not giving a fuck. He wants Connor to understand. “The next time you need someone to hold you steady, let me.” He looks Connor in the eyes, lets him see the care and desperation and just a hint of that something more he’s been feeling for Connor for a while now. “Please, let me.”

Connor stares back at him, and whatever he picks up from Markus’ expression forms tears in his eyes, even as he closes them and smiles again. He leans forward to rest his head on Markus’ shoulder and whispers back “okay.”

((btw Hank tracked Connor down a month in. He kept tabs on him to make sure he was okay but gave the kid the distance he needed to sort himself out))

#d:bh #detroit: become human #connor #markus #rk1000 #conkus #asks #my writing #small fics #suicide #Anonymous

23 notes · View notes

merrysithmas · 5 years

Note

ELABORATE ON THE BOREO GETTING MARRIED IN VEGAS HC PL EA S EJFLKDK

(okay so I’m stretching reality a little bit bc gay marriage wasn’t legal in NV until 2014 and Boris and Theo must have been living in Vegas from 2005-2006ish).

But Theo gets the bright idea that Boris should ask some random girl to marry him to get permanent residence status with a greencard. That way he never has to lose him and Boris doesn’t have to leave the States when his dad goes back to Australia and he’ll be legal. So he suggests it to him one day and Boris is like “hmm interesting” like peripherally piqued but thinking its a semi-plausible idea and Theo’s like cool. Not even having expected it to go that far.

Like Theo is even fully prepared for said girl to even be Kotku, like that is inconsequential, priority number one is keeping Boris in close orbit so he doesn’t lose him. But Boris kind of shirks it off each time he mentions it and pesters him to ask her, not entirely on the idea, for a few weeks, but Theo continues to mention it every so often kind of pressing it because— it’s a good idea. And she’ll say yes.

So one day when they’re absolutely world-shatteringly shitfaced, like drooling on Theo’s living room floor and all over themselves high, barely even conscious, Theo shoves him in the shoulders, you should ask her to marry you, he slurs, head falling back on the carpet.

But Boris says back defeatedly, Why don’t you just marry me — it’s a suggestion, a true inquiry, real — mouth slushy with a dozen accents and enough vodka to drown himself.

And Theo is jarred by it, sitting up on his elbow, out of focus eyes landing on him — his wasted friend with the thin bones, and matted black hair, and black pit eyes encircled by black defiant bags. Pale skin and red drunk lips that are turned sideways in an almost frightful kind of sneer - but with eyes that are vulnerable, a voice that is almost shaking. He starts to talk:

You know me, I trust you, we understand what it is, an arrangement—

Why don’t you just marry me. And Theo — Theo is all suddenly frozen inside, as if he wasn’t in the world’s hottest mindmelt of a desert, suddenly feeling all bone with nothing to insulate him, as if he was out in the open, plunged into the harsh cold of frozen water. Memories of his mother and his old life, how the road of his world twisted towards a place with cracks in the ground, where people he barely knows propose wild schemes to him that will reverberate through his what feels like his entire life. And yet — Boris’ fumbled words — yes, they sound fumbled — electrify something that bucks uncomfortably in him and he’s saying: Yes, I’ll do it. I’ll do it, before he even knows it, cutting him off, determined never to have to make Boris beg for a chance to be alive. To be free from his father. To matter. Anything else seems unthinkable.

And Boris exhales a breath Theo didn’t realize he was holding and just nods, looking at him a moment longer before laying back down beside him on the carpet, and soon Theo too is staring at the white pulsing ceiling, drifting back into silence as the sounds of music warp his ears like thread sewing up a new soul out of whatever’s left inside his head.

He forgets about it until Boris brings it up again in the morning, sober. A painfully real glint of hope in his bloodshot eyes, dehydrated from the alcohol. And when Theo sees it he doesn’t scorn or laugh — he immediately starts listing things off — Boris will need his birth certificate, it’s foreign so they can forge the year somehow, make Boris 18, and his own father is so wrecked all the time he’ll get him to sign parental permission when he’s high by lying and saying it’s for a field trip. No one will ever know. Just them. Then it’ll be set. No more troubles. They can do whatever they want. Live just like before. Boris with Kotku. It’s only on paper.

So they do it one night the next week, pool their money for a cab to the Strip when Larry and Xandra are out for “a weekend re-Honeymoon”, at a walk-in chapel, tiny and terrified and looking way out of their league, but they are shitfaced, and Boris is high and loudly overconfident with nerves, and Theo quickly discovers what a good good liar he really is - and it’s done, just like that, easy enough. Like it never happened. A kiss quicker than memory can even catch.

Theo covets the mailbox for a week, waiting for the official certificate, and presses it into Boris’ hands at the playground — just in case, in case he ever needs proof he can stay here. Boris nods at him with a severity that frightens him - that speaks of whisked away people in dark cars and forgotten names and spectre-like officials speaking languages he can’t understand. Theo shudders at that transference and stares at Boris as he turns to the swings — determined again to keep him close.

Obviously it’s an ill-conceived plan. Two drug addicted boys not understanding the law — how long greencards take, how serious the interview process is, how high they were. And things happen too, of course. Life. A car accident, his father. Nothing makes sense very fast. And Theo is out the door, running away, the world changing again — Boris’ mouth on his, but for real this time, something that tastes like Goodbye, and Theo is awash with a hundred emotions, most feeling like a saw cleaved his chest open and left him exposed on the street.

Boris is hugging his shoulders as the car drives away, and Theo is watching in the back window. Til death, something in his mind says, something that echoes and seems so obviously untrue as Boris recedes to the size of an ant that tears actually burn Theo’s eyes in anger.

And years go by — actual years, until the Barbours, and Kitsey, and the party, where Boris shows up, unannounced, bounce in his knee where the raw nerves jangle, stupid grin, made of pure infuriating, relieving, distraction. And they’re in Boris’ car, and Boris shoves something at him, a piece of paper neatly folded, some wear or tear but otherwise very nicely preserved. Theo thinks its to roll, to bump the coke, but then the arrow of memory strikes the front of his brain and he unfolds it.

I think maybe you will want to deal with this before Snowflake.

Boris says, half jokingly, half something else — the coke is burning the edges of his sensory brain like carbonation in his skull. There is a huge silence, the paper crinkles loudly. And Theo nods obediently, staring at him, unbreaking eye contact, fawnish and innocent, like a deer pierced by a shell, putting it into the slit of his camel-hair coat, feeling oddly stitled, like he is carrying around a wound in his pocket.

Boris stares at him a second longer, the car jostling them both, the pavement audible, Gyuri oddly hushed. Boris’ mouth is screwed shut, regretful. More secrets to tell — but not yet. Not yet. Not when Theo nods so sweetly, eyes owlish and big behind his glasses, he’s high, almost childlike, and Boris is watching him stumble through layers of time, looking down at his feet like his memories weigh too much. Boris remembers him, that look — from class, never smiling, always looking somewhat sad like it was raining in his head, quiet even when he spoke. Boris, pulling out an umbrella, Boris protecting him from the rain, Boris hurriedly saying да I do I do already at an ugly chapel on a loud street full of drunk people, eager for safety and stability, and Theo standing there smaller than a whisp of grass — giving it to him.

“Theo,” he says, knocking the other’s head lightly with his knuckles. “Come back,” he adds — and with playful bluster to shock his system, “I am here! Full color! Let’s go someplace, yes?”

And Theo does come back, pulled in by the uncommon use of his name, taking the next bump of coke Boris offers with a revitalized half-smile. Color a bit lost. And Boris thinks, shit.

Shit.

He’s really going to have to break up a whole fucking NYC monarchy to bring Potter home like some kind of cracked out post-Soviet knight with a 300 million dollar painting as his only shield. Fucking Theo. So dramatic.

#the goldfinch #boreo #and that’s the story of their vegas wedding #by me and terriblygrimm lol

119 notes · View notes

ittakesrain · 4 years

Text

a shitshow of a brain-dump

Even though I keep thinking this episode is over, it never is. Or, it hasn’t been yet. Eventually, it will be. Hopefully sometime fucking soon. But today is not that day, my friends.

I went to bed at 4:30pm last night. Like, the afternoon. Slept til 7 this morning, too, which I guess isn’t a bad thing. It certainly beats being conscious. But maybe that’s a bad way to look at it haha, like, I shouldn’t want to be unconscious. It’s just like…how else am I supposed to deal while just waiting this fuckin’ thing out?

I was asking myself what’s better. Crying for hours, tears saturated with anguish and discomfort and uncertainty and fear? Or all-consuming emptiness, nothing left to think or feel or experience, al emotion lost in the void? They both suck. But it’s been changing up nightly, so there’s at least some variety in the fucking depression.

I had therapy this morning, which always helps, and it did help, and I’m so relieved because I’m still kinda riding that high even though I needed my Klonopin (that I’ve been taking daily, because why suffer, I can’t take the suffering).

Anyway. I went in all mopey and folded into myself as usual but she eventually got me talking (damn, how does she do that?) and I was able to breathe for 45 minutes and have that time as a break from wanting to cease existing just to escape the torment. I could go on forever about the miracles that happen there, while we sit next to each other on the floor by the window, but more on that later.

I hung out with a friend after, a fellow mental health warrior, and it was a great distraction, and she totally understood that I needed to bolt outta there once I felt the oncoming, out-of-nowhere panic attack ready to pounce.

Came home. Ate fucking food (berries and cottage cheese, weird but healthy, I guess?). I actually ate something with my therapist today too, she gave me some of those breakfast biscuit things, and I ate them, go me.

I took all my fucking vitamins and supplements. Multi bc I’m not getting enough shit I need, biotin because since I’m not getting the shit I need my hair is falling out. Magnesium because it’s supposed to help with anxiety. PassionFlower extract because that is alsooo supposed to help with anxiety and I am desperate.

I also feel the need to say that I’m doing everything right. I’m taking the meds and stopping to inhale and exhale like a normal human, I’m tryinggggg to stay positive. I’m disheartened (and fucking furious) that this still happened.

Now for the brain-dump part that probably isn’t going to make any sense because it’s literally just random nonsense I typed up throughout the day.

I was thinking about what I want right now (an end to the torture, a plan of attack to kick back at this bullshit, some internal motivation that doesn’t dissipate abruptly and painfully) and about what I need (aside from a damn miracle). Like, how do I ask for help from people? What can I tell them I need? Basically I just need patience. Lots of love and affection (all the hugs and cuddles, please). I need work to be understanding about this. Which they are. It’s just ugh I’m still embarrassed.

Okay, now a word on understanding. I hate when people tell me they understand because unless they have bipolar, they most certainly do not and don’t insult me by saying that you do. I’m not gonna invalidate the pain other people feel, that’d be a shitty thing to do. But like, it’s insulting and upsetting. If I’m trying to explain how in my dark moments I literally CANNOT see clearly, I CANNOT fathom a time when I wasn’t in pain or a time when I won’t be in pain, I CANNOT function…and you tell me you’ve been there? Well then why can’t I just “be positive” and move on, like you apparently were able to do. I don’t wanna rant about this too much, but like. It’s on my mind.

I also had this random thought: I take one step forward, two steps back, two steps forward, one step back. I’m staying in the same place (cue bitter frustration seeping out of my brain). But I’m kinda dancing with it. Dancing in place. Like, what I mean by that is I’m trying. I’m doing new things and trying my best (when I am capable of it) and just. I dunno, is that a good perspective?

Lastly, I’m trying to find a way to love myself even with my malfunctioning, glitch-ridden brain. Even with my blossoming bouquet of mental illnesses. What I really mean by that is I’m trying to be proud of myself in spite of feeling like a total failure. I mean, yeah, surviving on a daily basis is a HUGE accomplishment for someone who’s got a mental illness. If you’re in that category of people, congrats and I’m so proud of you. But like gahhh I wanna be proud of myself and it seems to be a struggle for me. I’m gonna try being patient. I mean, nothing says I can’t get back up on the horse and try again. Actually, I’m gonna do that. Because I really have no choice, but because that’s how I like to think I am. Resilient, blah blah, we know. Bipolars are resilient. But, like. Yeah.

Some definitions:

Fail- to be unsuccessful in achieving one’s goals

Success- the accomplishment of an aim or purpose

Goal- the object of a person’s ambition or effort, the desired aim or result

Ambition- a strong desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work

And some quotes:

“Failure is not a sin” –dunno who said it but my HS principal said this at our graduation

The only way to fail is to not try –again, dunno who said it, but we all know this basic idea, don’t we

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently” –apparently Henry Ford said this

Success is a journey, not a destination –I think of happiness the same way, interesting

“Ambition is believing in yourself even when no one else in the world does”

I’m just trying to convince myself that I’m worthy of the time it’s gonna take for me to get my shit to an acceptable level of “together.” The words I typed up there totally aren’t gonna make sense if anyone reads them, buuuuut maybe when I go back and read this thingggg later, it’ll jog something in my brain that helps.

Alrighty. Enough smashing this keyboard for the night.

#personal post #Thoughts

4 notes · View notes

sugarpun-fairy · 5 years

Text

BEING A FAN AND DATING JOEL PIMENTEL - HEADCANNON

A/n: i was just fooling around w my mate @brattybombshell when this came up LAST MONTH I’M LATE FOR EVERYTHING SO PLS FORGIVE ME

also this is huge so yeah, enjoy urselves

-x-

He meets you on the meet&greet

You're all shy and nervous and almost pass out too like the girl from that vid and he's enchanted

P.S. it's your first show ever

And you bring everyone a letter with a small gift in it

The boys joke with you the entire time, trying to make you loosen up a little

You notice some of Joel's looks at you but you're like

Nah, fam, me? Nop.

But the thing is that YES, FAM, YOU!

He's curious about you, your laugh and puns (that are just worse than Erick's)

He looks like a KID trying to find you when he's on stage

But he can't

You were too far for him to see you and oh if he could bring you closer (like to his side) HE WOULD

After the show he's asking the whole staff to find you

They can't

So he nicknames you Cinderella

You stole his heart and left without letting any traces

But he remembers your letter

He search for it like a dog searching a bone it dug on the backyard

He wants anything he can find about you, he NEEDS

A name, an address, an user

Homeboy is SO relieved when he finds your letter

When he reads it and see your number there? He's on the clouds

He could swear he wouldnt complain about ANYTHING ever AGAIN

Well, if you answered to a number from another country at least

He calls you

He text you

And you're like WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING MATE

That's when you pick up and he's like "hey it's me Joel"

You almost faint right there

Let's say that the show was on a Saturday and he's calling you at like

3 AM

And he's like PLEASE COME MEET ME I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU and you're like FUCK

Your flight is booked to the afternoon

You dont have this much time

The two of you don't even sleep

He sends a car to pick you up and you're a bit scared but SO excited (bc let's be honest the world is rlly dangerous for girls/women)

You didnt had time to put on makeup, just a quick shower so when you meet him you're all "oh boy I should have dressed up better why didnt I listened to my mom" AND HE LOOKS AT YOU AND HIS EYES FUCKING SHINE

That's when you stop, freeze and thinks

"Fuck

He's too much sand for my paper truck"

Then you see he's wearing the choker you gave him

And you melt

He's like "do you know a place we can go?" And you're like "I DONT LIVE HERE FUCK HE MUST THINK IM PATHETIC AND MUST BE REGRETTING CALLING ME HERE��

He finds it adorable how your body language shows your nervousness

You can't keep eye contact

But then you do

And then he's like "fuck" and you're like "fuck"

And he's like "if you dont feel uncomfortable we could just get some snacks and stay at my room and talk about life" and you're so nervous you just shake your head

You see the amount of letters and gifts in his bed and you're like

"IM REALLY HERE HOLY FUCK"

He doesnt make any move if he feels you're too uncomfortable

So by the sunrise you're both sitting beside the other eating something from room service and he's listening to you rambling about your life

(He finds it adorable how distracted you get when you're talk and how sometimes you mix languages)

Then you stop talking and just sits back

He's like omfgwhatdidido

And you're like imtalkingtoomuchheprollythinksimboring

You two stand there in silence and you look at the window

Sun is rising

His window is pointed straight at its direction

Mate

You love that boy

But theres nothing more magical than the sun rising so you just go

And he goes after you

Mate it's beautiful

The sun, all the colors

But hes not looking at it

Hes looking at how even more beautiful your smile gets when the sun hits your face

"I'm sorry can I kiss you?" He snaps

You're pretty sure you heard it wrong

"What? Wait really? Yes please!"

He nods and laugh

You're smaller so he's leaning down and suddenly you're so nervous YOU BURST OUT LAUGHING

Your next thought is "I fucked up" so yeah you cry a bit

You can't lie and say you hadn't cried already because the whole thing was SO UNREAL

The show

The meet

Being there with him

When he tries again it works

His hands are around your face then on your nape

You dare to put your on his shoulder and his hair

His hair is SOFT

You guys keep touch

Using instagram since you doesnt have iOS (you tell him you hate it and won't ever trade your lil samsung, he gives you one anyway just bc he can)

You're not sure how to feel about it

First you're on the show

Second you're kissing him at sunrise on his hotel room

Third he's sending you gifts just so you can talk more?????????

Anxiety kicks in OF COURSE it's way too much

He stops telling he's single on interviews

The boys tease him about it all the time

Talking about his Cinderella

There's a whole move on Twitter to find out who she is

You know who she is

Sometimes you're insecure

About his career

About you two

About the fandom

About EVERYTHING

He's always reassuring you about how he feels and doesnt care about anything else

(Your answer is always the same: anything else but music)

You're scared you'll start annoying him w your insecurities

So you start talking to the other boys too about it

Guess who slips that Joel wants to take you to tour with them when you can?

its hard to convince your parents, your vacation from work and college are not at the same time and you're like FUCK

the tour ends and you cant go and you're feeling so down

until he texts you saying he'll go to your country to see you

WE GOT POSTS EVERYWHERE "Is he going to see his so called Cinderella? So that means they met during the tour? Make your bets everyone"

it's crazy

you spend the first nights with him at the hotel before going to your house

the feeling of him being too much for you hits you everyday

gets worse when he goes to meet your family and youre like oh boy

you're so nervous you almost throw up

and everyone be like IM SORRY WAHT and you be like WE NEVER DID ANYTHING STOP RIGHT THERE

he spends that night at your house

its you, him, and your pet

and when you wake up you starts crying because you still can't believe

he also loves to hear you sing, even tho HE'S the singer there

its just a thing he likes, how you try your best even if you hate your own voice

a couple days before he goes back home he's like "get your passport i want you to go with me" and youre like "SO IF I TELL YOU ITS NOT THAT FAST WHAT WILL U DO"

and he just goes "JUST GET UR PASSPORT I HAVE A COUPLE MONTHS OFF AND I WANT YOU TO MEET MY FAMILY TOO"

At moment you're thinking if you could just leave everything behind and go live w him

part of you wants to

part of you is like "WHAT IF HE GETS TIRED OF YOU AND LEAVE YOU AND YOULL BE ALONE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY WHAT WILL YOU DO"

U insecure again

he talks to your parents, assure them you'll be fine

so you go

at first is just a short time

no one will die because of a little vacation right?

WRONG you're both destroyed when you have to go home

what do to? what to do?

stay? go? (SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO TANANANANA sorry)

you know he wants to ask you to stay, he knows he cant ask you that

you turn to him and be like "if i find a job here and have the proper documents ill stay" bc you dont wanna be a burden and want to have your own independence too

also california im not sure if he does live in california but for fictional purposes the answer is yes

one of your dreams

so you stay

he finds a small ap for you to share and his mom helps you find a nice job

when you're all set he turns to you and be like "i want to make us public" and you kinda just freezes right there

you've been together for almost a year now so why not? you end up going for it

-x-

taglist: @southside-sweets @batboys-and-other-messes @imaginesandideas @brattybombshell

142 notes · View notes