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kingconia · 10 months

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okay um very strange request but... there is a scene in harry potter movie when ron gets hurt and he is all delirious and there is lavanda who stays by his side and tries to say hermione to go away?? but then ron calls for hermione through his sleep? can you do that this scene with malleus and leona separately where reader is pomefiore student who gets hurt and vil is mad at malleus and leona for hurting you somehow or just allowing it to happen so they try to send them away but reader calls for them through sleep?,, preferably fem!reader but tbh your wish (sry for bad English)

A/N: Hello. I've got you.

Also, we are having a 100 followers here! Wow! Maybe, I should do something special to thank you?

MALLEUS DRACONIA & LEONA KINGSCHOLAR WITH FEM!S/O, WHO CALLS THEIR NAME IN A FEVER

Leona Kingscholar. 💛

— He swore it was an accident. He just got distracted by conversation with Ruggie for a few minutes, and then, some Savanaclaw students attacked you with magic, when you simply tried to train with others;

— He instantly ran to your side. Instead of fighting two freshmen—he planned to do that after you will recover—that he left on Ruggie's and Jack's mercy, Leona took you to the healer;

— You were alive, you were fine, but still, it seemed like you were slightly delirious, tossing blankets around, murmuring something, being under some spell;

— And then, of course, your overprotective housewarden appeared. And nothing got better for Leona, when Vil was around.

•

”Get away from her, beast. Or I will ask Hunt to shot you,” Vil hissed, hands gently resting on your forehead, trying to check the temperature. ”I knew that she will get in troubles because of you, I told her so!”

Leona gritted his teeth.

Usually he was more of less fine with Vil Schoenheit being against your relationship—Leona never cared, actually; what his word meant to him, after all?—but right now, wasn't his best moment.

Though, Leona was aware that you were fine, he felt tired and disappointed in himself for not being able to keep you safe. He genuinely panicked when you fell on the ground, painful sounds, escaping your lips. He thought he will lose you.

So, yes, Vil's words were too... Much for now.

He knew he was a trouble. For his family, for his kingdom, for this school, too.

But—

”Seriously,” Vil added, voice sounding still furious, ”leave.”

Leona stared at your pained expression for a while, lips thinning as he eventually gave up. Just as usual. He couldn't find powers to fight for the throne, knowing that no one wished to see him here. And he couldn't find powers to fight for you, knowing he made it worse.

So, Leona turned to the doors.

He almost left, when you weakly murmured something, making both of housewardens to froze on their places.

”Stay...”

His ears perked up a little. Had you heard the conversation? Did you speak to him?

”What is it, my sweet potato?” Vil murmured, almost in the gentlest motherly tone. ”Tell me what is it.”

”Leona... Stay. Leona.”

Vil's worried expression hastily shifted into disappointed one as he raised his eyes on the said beastman. Leona, from the other side, felt how his tail swayed from one side to another, nervously. Even his heartbeat became faster.

Could it be... Ah, of course. Of course, his stupid girl cared about him even now, when she was one in pain.

Finally, Leona's body relaxed.

”What?” He couldn't help but feel a little smug as he mocked Vil. ”I am allowed to stay here now, your highness?”

”...If it is her wish,” Vil answered reluctantly.

But Leona actually didn't care about his permission. He already dragged chair closer to your bed, and took your free hand in his, fingertips brushing your knuckles. And as soon as you felt his touch, your face eased, becoming more peaceful.

Though Vil didn't leave until you woke up, Leona couldn't care less. Very soon he fell asleep himself, keeping your hand in both of his, forehead pressing to the matters.

Despite everything, his sleep was peaceful. How couldn't it be, if Leona knew that you loved him so dearly, after all?

Malleus Draconia. 💚

— You really want this man to suffer, don't you?

— Malleus was always nervous about your safety, waiting for something to happen. But when it actually happened, he couldn't believe that it was under his roof. Oh, how he loathes himself for it;

— Though, the fault laid mostly on Sebek's shoulders, Malleus still blamed himself for not being around when you truly needed him;

— Malleus was definitely panicking on the inside, but outside he acted rationally, taking you to the healer instantly. For some, he even appeared to look cold and indifferent;

— He knew how protective your housewarden was, and though he and Vil never fought personally, he was ready for some aggression from his side. However, he couldn't expect to hear such words...

•

”Listen, Draconia, I understand that our lives mean nothing to you. Our whole lifespan is hardly a quarter of yours, but, perhaps, you can keep at least one person, who for some reason chose you, safe?!”

Malleus was standing in the middle of the room, unmoving. Though, he looked calm and collected, these words hit him exactly on his open wound.

Your lifespan was always one of his main concerns. As he spent time with you, all of his thoughts were busy with counting how much time were left for you to live in this world. And Vil was right, for him, it was nothing. It wasn't enough.

”I am genuinely sorry,” his voice quiet, hardly a whisper. ”I assume, I merely should leave her alone.”

He wasn't sure if he meant for now or generally.

”Yes, you should.” Vil nodded, sitting up on your right side.

Malleus was almost outside, when he heard your voice. It was weak, weaker than usual, and you clearly was still unconscious. Yet, somehow, you managed to croak:

”Malleus.”

He instantly was running to your side.

”Mhm?” Vil stroked your hair tenderly. ”What did you say, my sweet potato?”

”Malleus... Don't go, Malleus.”

Malleus felt his heart shattering in two pieces as he heard you almost pleading for him to stay. He fell on his knees wordlessly, crossing his hands together, almost as if he was praying.

”Once again, I apologise,” he addressed Vil. ”But her wish is my only command.”

And though man in front of him clearly wasn't happy—Malleus could sense that—he gave up, leaving both of you alone, taking from him a promise to message him as soon as you wake up.

And Malleus spent all his night like this, not moving even from an inch, aching to touch your pale hand, but never allowing himself; punishing for being so uncareful with someone he held so dearly in his heart.

Ah, little did he knew that you never blamed him for anything...

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #malleus draconia x reader #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader

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prettymindset111 · 2 years

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Hi bae <3 I’m here to share my success story and it’s all because of your void challenge 🫢 (im sorry for any mistakes, it’s not my native language)

Backstory: when I first time knew about the void I was literally afraid cuz thought it’s kinda magic place or close to astral and entities will attack me (it’s so hilarious ik please don’t judge old me ✋🏻😭). But I was looking for more info bout that so now I know what that state is. Anyway I had troubles to enter and idk why I just couldn’t do it.

Yesterday I found your challenge and decided to try it cuz it looks so easy??? like you don’t need to do anything but pretend you already that person who can enter the void with ease. I did it during the whole day and at night just simply went to sleep. I used to try to enter every night before and it was tiring tbh.

I just fell asleep and woke up … nowhere?? Like… idek how to explain it on my language lmao. I felt nothing but calmness and pleasure. I wasn’t sure I’m in the void but I decided to affirm for my desires. And thanks to me for doing this cuz it literally was the void. I understood it when woke up in reality today and I have everything I wanted!!! Please I’m not emotional person but my feelings just tear me up from the inside 😭

Let me tell you what I manifested:

Desired face! I didn’t want to change myself too much so I just made my eyes more like feline (similar to Jennie BP) and I looks more prettier then ever + being photogenic.

Desired body! I lost 20kg and now my weight is 40kg with 165cm of height (was 160). I have a thin hourglass body, long legs and perfect skin everywhere.

Perfect voice! In my childhood I could sing but in my teenage smth happened and I started to sound like old rusty door but worse 💀 I dreamed about beautiful voice a long time and now I have it! I swear I sing the whole day and do it with my friends in out chats.

I’ve done my study at university! It was the most shitty thing in my life and it took all my nervous for nothing. I hated this sm but now I finally free omg. And I have my diploma.

$10k on my bank account!

A lot of good friends!

The hottest bf in the universe! Girl I swear he match with all my standards and even better. He treated me like a Goddess but he’s still like dominant?? (lol sry if it sound strange idk)

Some stuffs with my parents like as situations, job and behaviors!

So that’s all for the first time. Next time I’m gonna manifest knowledge of english and korean, more money and financial freedom, get anything just by snapping my fingers, desire wardrobe, desire car and some things with my exes. Maybe I can come up with something else but now I’m just so satisfying with my new life and new me! I’m so thankful to you swettie! Tysm for everything you do. Love you to the moon and back 💕💕💕

AWWW CUTIEE …. i’m so happy for you ….. have fun ur life looks so customized now !! i love you to the 🌙 and back as well because you did it !

#⋆·˚ ༘ *anonsuccess🎧~!!#affirmdaily #self concept #manifesting #law of assumption #manifestation #subconscious #void state #daily affirmations #neville goddard #manifestingdreams

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komorezuki · 6 months

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Angelic unacceptable cybersecurity practices: what exactly is fucked in Heaven and what thoughts does this lead to?

After the conversation with @raining-stars-somewhere-else and his post about Saraqael I have pondered a bit and now I want to be "that guy" about heavenly security policy as an IT person and wannabe-cybersecuritist.

Disclaimer 1 - there are no conclusions here. I am trying to compile my observations related to Heavenly data and lay out kinda a tree graph of possible explanations. But I doubt I’ll be able to choose the most possible coherent interpretation.

Disclaimer 2 - english is not my first language so I might make some (many) mistakes.

No onboarding for low ranked angels (not sure it s really a vulnerability)

This fandom (but not me sry) loves naive and curious Muriel, but what I am focused on is why archangels dont give an incompetent low ranked angel some instructions. Actually, main question is why Saraqael didn't entrust the surveillance to other more professional angelic spy. In terms of common sense, there is not a single reason why that should be Muriel. But Saraqael’s intention is unclear to us, so I can brainstorm the variety of versions:

They hadn’t considered. Simplest variant, but this decision is seeming too failed to be a mistake. I really don't believe Saraqael could just overlook this, they seem smart.

An attempt to WARN. A spy who is so easy to get busted is making it clear to husbands that they are being watched. Also note that even Muriel’s heavenly outfit seems to be more fitting for Earth than shining Inspector-Constable’s suit.

An attempt to threat the same way.

A setup for Michael and Uriel, it might be a part of some undercover games and a power struggle.

Michael & Uriel gave this task to Muriel along the way. Because ineffable husbands aren’t the only ones who don’t like to strain.

They never changed passwords

“you'd have to be a throne or a dominion or above”

Okay that seems to be redundant. Demon’s invasion is not the regular occurrence. Apparently heavenly passwords represent some sort of a cast of the celestial soul and angels can just touch a folder. And there are no new angels in the office BUT.

What about personnel reshuffles that happened canonically?

Example 1. After Crowley had made some troubles Azi has been demoted from Cherub to Principality. It means that he could have had access to confidential folders earlier and he might still have it as a principality.

Example 2. Maybe, Gabriel with erased memory would have it too, but if we assume that new memory = new identity, then it is a controversial issue. Anyway, this password policy is totally fucked up.

Another explanation is based on on the second assumption that angels receive their passwords externally. What if Crowley wasn't a Throne or a Dominion or above? WHAT IF HE HAS STOLEN ACCESS.

Always asking damn fool questions, isn’t he? Fell for this? One of the most popular hacking attack vectors is social engineering. It implies that you are using psychological manipulations to get access to secure data. It is not so hard for humans to steal password this way. And it would be so easy for one creative angel who is brilliantly sweet-talking and successfully prying all necessary information. Yeah he literally fell for questions. This angel (or demon) also might hack other angelic devices like Michael’s smartphone or Saraqael’s memory manager as well. He has room to move around.

Strangers allowed

Small appetizer: a critical issue of angelic nature - they are worse at detecting demonic presence (Gabriel didn’t recognize Beelzebub) than demons and they are too naive (not all of them, okay).

So. Any object with confidential info requires a pass-entry system. But here we have a case of someone (worse than that, a demon) whose presence at office was not sanctioned by the system. I guess a low-ranking angel doesn’t have authority to do that. Anyway no one can reveal his disguise by default. As we have seen in s1ep6 a demon can even take a certain angel’s appearance. Who said that other demons cannot do the same?

And now we are going to to discuss a fucking disaster

Possible imposter

A demon can enter the Heaven accompanied by an angel (Eric in s1, Crowley).

A demon has the ability to disguise as an angel and may not be revealed (example: Crowley as Azi).

And there’s one angel in Heaven who miracles like demons do (by waving hand upwards).

I mean, what if there is more than one grapevine. And here I also have a variety of versions for “demon Saraqael” theory:

Sara has fallen with other demons and they are still pretending. Unlikely scenario bc i don’t believe that they had not been revealed in the last 6 millenia.

Demonic spy. This version explains why they sent Muriel (look at setup version 4 about Muriel). An unknown demon disguised by Saraqael is sabotaging angelic investigation. What has happened with true Sara?

Other variant - demonic spy, but Michael (a grapevine) is in the loop.

A voluntary body swap. We still don’t know Saraqael’s ineffable game.

Wait, what? An ineffable game? They are Almighty?

Anyway, that’s all for today. I don’t know which of all this versions is better (you are dark horse, Saraqael), but we all like to be be fussy about details like gestures, so maybe someone has better ideas about demonic invasion in Heaven.

#good omens 2 #good omens #good omens meta #goodomens #good omens theories #good omens heaven #saraqael #go2 #go2 meta #crowley #good omens demons #demon!saraqael

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rayshippouuchiha · 1 year

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I propose that Naruto and Kakashi’s respective canine accents get even worse the longer they spend around one another. Like they just start to blend until both of them use an unholy combination of old English, Australian, and American accented vernacular and intonations.

Just…one of them getting mad (naruto) and insulting someone in “dog talk” but to anyone that understands it just sounds like

“Ho you bloody fucking bastard! Thee must not has't a donger if 't be true thee act like such a fucking cunt! I hope thyn negligible nuts remain blue as a Mandrill’s ass cheeks you slug fuck!”

Also, sry to every Australian person for my piss poor attempt to make Naruto’s dog speak thing include the fox accent too.

~~~

There comes a point where when Kakashi and Naruto are bickering the ninken and Kurama both are like "that's not even a language??? how are you two doing that??"

#Pawpads And Parenting Advice AU #Naruto #RayRambles

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ensn4r3d-d0ve · 1 year

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Can you do Leon comforting Reader bcs of a Bad haicut? (Sry english isnt my first language, and my Hair looks so shit rn its making me cry)

uhmm… Yes I will because I feel so fucking bad for you and I hope you recover from your shitty haircut? 💋💋

This fic is really short, but I tried to do you some justice and leon fixes up your hair for you <3

I finished this so fic fast like holy shit-

This day was absolutely horrible.

The hairstylist fucked your hair up and your forced to go home to your boyfriend looking like shit without a way to fix it, but surely it isn’t that bad right?

I mean…it really was BAD. everybody stared at you and laughed and whispered and pointed, some people even started to pity you. The worst part about this whole mess is the fact you didn't know why they were doing that in the first place.

It just wasn't normal for them to be so mean towards you. You knew how to handle people being mean to you but this was something else entirely. You weren't used to these types of things.

You walked down the streets with your head down staring at your feet, trying to hide from everybody's eyes. You tried hard not to let their stares bother you too much, because they weren't your fault. You could do nothing wrong. You'd been here before so many times, after all, it probably wasn't as bad now that you thought back on it. Right?

But, oh god, did it suck. Every time someone looked at you they laughed and snickered. And, oh god…when you thought this could get worse you run into your boyfriend on the way back down the street to your house as he is getting the mail. He doesn't see you and doesn't notice you.

Your eyes go wide as you try to get away from him without drawing attention to yourself but unfortunately, you're walking too fast and he catches up with you quickly.

His arms are crossed over his chest. His expression is unreadable as usual. You look at him nervously for a second before you can feel a hand land on your arm. "Y/N," Leon says softly. You wince internally.

"We need to talk." That's when he notices your hair. "What happened to your hair?" His voice sounds kind of angry and hurt.

Oh my God…he's going to hate me or dislike it right?.

He always does. You swallow thickly as you glance to the side nervously. "Did your hairdresser do that?" He asks, sounding annoyed. You nod slowly.

He looks surprised for a moment, maybe even a little hurt. “Lets get you home, I had a feeling that something has been making me feel uneasy today.” You don’t say anything, you don’t want to argue. He pulls you along behind him, his long black coat swishing against the cement as he walks.

As you both walk inside he guides you to take a seat and he tries his beat to comfort you. “Do you wanna tell me what was bothering you?” He asks quietly. You shrug in response, still staring at your hands folded in your lap.

He sighs heavily. “Okay. If you want to keep quiet then we will.” That makes you look up and stare at him in surprise.

“Just let me make you atleast feel better than before.” Leon takes some scissors and a brush and touched your hair up with gentle motions. He hummed in approval when he finally finished and went to grab some paper and a pencil from the kitchen. “I have no idea why you haven’t had an idea to ask me to cut your hair before, it might help make you feel more comfortable rather than letting some hairstylist make it shitty.”

He pauses for a second before starting to gaze into your eyes through the mirror, which made you feel as if he was eye fucking you. Your cheeks flushed pink. “It looks fine. Better than fine even. Just keep it that way. You’re beautiful.” Your heart jumped at how sweet he said those words.

His fingers brushed across your cheek gently before returning to cutting your bangs into a short style. You closed your eyes as he gently pulled you in for a small kiss, then a few minutes later he was done fixing your hair. “Thank you,” you mumbled as he set the scissors and the paper aside.

“You’re welcome. I hope that helped a bit,” Leon replied, placing a kiss on your forehead as he got up. You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach and you smiled softly.

Your boyfriend always managed to make your mood improve somehow even if it wasn’t necessarily intentional. He gave off an aura that seemed to make everything okay again, even the most difficult days. Even just talking about you made him happier than anything and he was very good at that sort of thing.

You couldn’t believe you found such amazing boyfriend.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s. kennedy #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy x fem! reader #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x fem reader #leon kennedy resident evil #resident evil leon #resident evil x reader

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andthebubbles · 1 year

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actually kinda shook that rn my happy place is watching wot streamers play wot (duh) on twitch, specifically iyouxin who isn’t playing right nowwwww. the lemmingrush platoon was fun the other night, it was definitely worth ruining my okay-ish sleep schedule for a day (!!)

i could probably even rank my fave wot streamers:

1. iyouxin (excellent gameplay, entertaining, can’t use photoshop to save his life)

2. lemmingrush (not so good gameplay anymore but i learnt a lot from him when i was worse at the game. also entertaining, weird af laugh, nice voice, nice face)

3. dakillzor (excellent gameplay, i thinkkkk he might be a better player than iyouxin, although tbh both of them are like the best i’ve seen so far. i also like that he streams late so sometimes when i have to be up in the morning, he’ll still be streaming, so i can have tea and watch him play. cons: mumbly and i don’t always know what he’s saying skfjgnk)

4. skill4ltu (good gameplay, has a cuuuute black fluffy cat named katyte, but yeah he’s dropping down the list (he would’ve been at the top maybe even half a year ago), mainly because i feel like he’s more a passive player and that maybe leads to less game impact... idk. this is my uninformed opinion lol, i’m not good at the game)

(5. jaeckefa, who i sometimes watch if no one else is on. he has a nice voice but one day he had a face cam and... ew SKJDFNKFJNG sry. but on a more general note, he talks himself down a lot and after a while it isn’t exactly fun to listen to)

(6. scatterW, who i’ll watch if there’s really no one else playing! really good player but streams without a mic most of the time, and the one time i caught them with a mic... well, they’re german, and they wanna stream in german, so)

(7. and if there’s really no one i’ll watch mailand, who would probably be at no. 6 (swapped with scatterW), but usually when mailand streams there’s a whole lot of other people also streaming who i usually watch AND stream in english (mailand streams in german) so i usually don’t watch him)

#okay that was a ramble #idk i'm kinda sleepy and uh yeah can't get my brain to settle on doing something #sooo i rambled this to maybe ~activate brain #ramble.txt #wot

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flightfoot · 3 years

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Is it bad if I'm hoping for a confrontation between lb and cn in a full blown shouting contest or cn pull a glaciator eps-like attitude toward lb? Many artist and author I've seen tend to geared toward cn anger/disappoinment diffuse instantly the moment lb shout out her frustration by using the "you don't understand I'm stressed!!" Argument and cn instantly goes "aww I'm sorry I was wrong" because I don't think he was wrong to feel disappointed and angry when he found out rf is out there without his knowledge. Sry English isn't my first language hope that make senses enough?

No, I totally get it! Especially since, yeah, I DON'T think Chat would be wrong to be angry or disappointed with LB, with what he found out in Rocketear especially. Ladybug's actions are understandable in context and she's not having the best time either, but that doesn't invalidate Chat's frustrations. I don't think he needs to apologize for feeling lied to, distrusted, manipulated, unneeded, or unwanted based on all the things he's found out he's not in the loop about, and only found out because of outside reasons, like Ladybug telling her identity to someone else, and letting Rena and Carapace know each other's identities.

Now, he actually appears to be taking all that extremely well so far. He was fine with Ladybug telling her identity to someone else as soon as she explained and made it clear that she wasn't going to just leave with no notice permanently. This IS consistent with his character, and is why I'm not too off-put with Chat Noir seemingly getting over his anger within less than a minute of blowing up, even apologizing for lashing out - while I think he has the right to be seriously upset, he probably WOULD appear to be over it as soon as he shouted out the problem. We saw that in Glaciator in fact, with him making some snippy comments to Ladybug about not going to the rooftop date he set up, getting slammed by Glaciator when he attempted to take him on alone, then apologizing and going with Ladybug's plan, all within the span of about a minute.

Adrien just doesn't hold onto anger or frustration very long, and he's terrified of driving people away from him - especially Ladybug. So even when he's really upset with her, he does his best not to express it or to keep it to a minimum so he doesn't alienate her. Something that's gotten worse in season 4, with how closely he's concealing his growing frustration from her, even when asked about it, when in previous seasons he'd let her see that he was hurt.

Personally, I want Chat to be able to really let Ladybug know exactly how hurt and frustrated he's been, what his perspective on all this is. I don't really want their partnership to be strained, at least on any sort of long-term basis, nor do I want Marinette to be too badly hurt - she didn't mean to cause Chat any sort of pain, and a lot of it stems from bad circumstances and erroneous assumptions, especially with Chat Blanc throw into the mix. I don't think she "deserves to suffer", if that makes sense.

But I still want some catharsis, something akin to what we got with the NY special, with Chat giving up the ring and Marinette being devastated as a result, because as bad as things were, as stressed and anxious and angry as she was, she'd NEVER want to be without him. Him actually giving up the ring has been done before so maybe not that specifically, but something else major that turns the anger Chat has and the... shock, maybe? that Ladybug would have into something more like sorrow, and cause them to reaffirm how much they mean to each other.

#ask #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ladynoir #lovesquare #ml analysis

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lost-in-the-spectrum · 3 years

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What is the Asperger-Syndrome?

Friends of the sun shine…

This is gonna be my very first tumblr post in English about a very personal and important topic I’d like to write about. You see the title and think ‘I heard of that, I know what it is’? Then f*ck you because you don’t.

First of all: My name is Helli, I am 25 years old and I’ve got the Asperger-Syndrome, now a days also known as Autism-Spectrum-Disorder. I’ve been suffering of bullying, misunderstanding, being let down and being unheard, being treated differently and badly just because I’ve behaved specifically during the spectrum and its issues. I was an introvert, a daydreamer, a comic- and video game geek... especially the last point might be an information where you go like ‘huh, that is actually cool’ but well... years ago it wasn’t. I was a nerd for others and nerds were meant to be uncool and unpopulare for a quite long time. Unfair? Yes, it is. But do you think anyone did care those days? No.

Anyways, before I start to tell you something about this syndrome – and before I do the same mistake as I did 5 years ago making a video for my German YouTube channel to talk about it – I’d like to mention that all I tell you in this post is only ABOUT ME. Every autistic person is DIFFERENT and not everyone got the same issues or strengths as me. So please before you drop every autistic person in one box which I accidently did in the video I mentioned before, please remember: THIS IS JUST ABOUT ME. Yet I will drop some general informations about that syndrome as well. And maybe you recognize yourselves or other people and friends, maybe you’re autistic yourself then let me know in every possible way you want.

What is the Asperger-Syndrom (medical)?

It is a profound developmental disorder with issues in social communicating, correct interpretation of facial expressions and gesturing. People with the Asperger-Syndrome are most of the time hardly interested in any topic but create a special huge interest in certain topics. Most of them are, like with me, video games and comics, computer and technology in general, sometimes even different kinds of science or arts. In some individual cases people with this syndrome are incredibly good at mathematics or speaking (linguistically gifted) but at the same time these people are not able to do other simple things. Me as an example: Never mind how much I practised, how good the teacher was, I always wrote bad exams in mathematics even tho I understood what I did in the homeworks before and even in some very simple exercises I do the one or other mistake. BUT even tho I’ve hardly read a book in my life because – I am not gonna lie – books (novels) are uninteresting for me I am very good at speaking, writing, formulating, describing things (...) I am pretty good at articulating myself. So I eventually belong to these people who are linguistically gifted. I can only tell that my dad – a former German teacher – is even kinda impressed about my way of speaking because I – as I have already told – hardly hold a book in my hands. I only remember three novels I’ve read in my whole life and those books where lucky to be interesting enough for me.

Anyways... those are the main signs and behaviors of people with this syndrome. Of course the Asperger-Syndrome is not the only disorder. The spectrum is pretty huge and includes many other Autism-Disorders. Not only other names but also syndromes with the same name but with some little deviations in behavior and ‘gifts’. So while I have not such a huge problem with maybe speaking with people and explaining them how I feel and see the world (as long as they give me the chance to do so) other people with the same syndrome might have big issues in formulating and ordering their feelings, describing them etc. While I really want to become an educater and work with children and teenagers to help them on the right way – I even want to work in special institutions for people with depressions and other conditions – other people with the Asperger-Syndrome completely avoid people and social contact or at least prefer jobs where they can be for their own.

These are only some examples for the issues or strengths people with this syndrome have to deal with. Other examples – where I can relate – are these...

Being not interested in other children as a child and prefering to play on their own.

Misunderstanding things and informations which are said because these people sometimes have an own way to say and describe these things.

Being unable to use the correct facial expressions to a certain feeling as well as misunderstanding them on other people. – almost the same issue which they have with told things.

Unable to be flexible and spontanious, prefering to know appointments and meetings at least one day earlier, even tho it is spending time on the beach with friends.

Mostly having a strict day structure and plan and having issues to change them.

Sometimes not interested in other people but in objects. I for example am more imperessed of a note book having a nice cover than of a handsome man.

Most of the time for their own and focused on their own life, problems etc. Which you can mix up very easily with ‘just being day dreaming’ Which seems egoistic to other people.

Sometimes not even able to show emotions or at least they have a limited number of emotions on stock.

They often do things everytime on the one and same way – Much alike this day structure thing – and while other people get bored very quickly by that people with this syndrom actually love it to know what’s coming next and that it is everyday the same. (This is because these people really want to have the ultimate control on everything they do.)

Now we come to the points which some autistic people can relate but indeed not everyone of them:

Having a bad ‘inter navigation’ which means that they’re pretty bad at reading maps, finding a simple way even tho there are signs and shields telling them where to go and even tho someone once walked the way together with them. (I am one of them. Other Autists are pretty good at navigation and geography.)

Reminding information or images by first sight (photographic mind, like the boy who flew over a city with a helicopter and drew the whole city down only by viewing it once.)

Being able to solve a mathematic exercise in their head within 30 seconds or less.

Having a higher IQ from 113 up to 200, also known as ‘extremly gifted’ (unfortunately not everyone... I’ve met some people...)

Being very tidy, ordered and hygenic. (also not everyone. For example me: I am captain Chaos.)

Being very sensitive if it’s about smell, flavor, feeling, light, noises etc. (I’ve got only some noises which freak me out and sometimes I can’t deal with the sun light because it is just way to bright for me. That’s why some autistic people always use noise-cancelling headphones or sunglasses.)

Having issues with being in a relationship including love and sex life. (Not me: I have got a boyfriend without Autism and we come along pretty well actually. We do also fight like ‘normal’ people. There is hardly a difference. Yet there are some other kinds of people.)

There are also autistic people who behave much more extreme than the examples I’ve written down. Some of them still ‘belong’ to the Asperger-Spectrum, others already drift into the ‘Kanner-Spectrum’ which is known as the ‘Autism’ which comes up to our minds when we hear about it. It’s the ultimate image most of the people still have when they hear about ‘Autism’: Swinging around on the chair or floor and not noticing anyone speaking to them: caught in their ‘own world’. Behaving uneasy, having no respect or not accepting distance. Some of them even’d like to touch your ‘private zone’ because they think it is interesting but don’t understand that it is not okay – or even sexual harassment – to do so. Hurting themselves by hitting their head against the wall – for example – if they’re told to do what they don’t want to. In general known as easily provocating people, aggressive and having no control over their own actions.

This is a completely other topic tho. So if you’d like to have a list with examples and definitions of different Autism-Spectrums, just let me know!

Now: What is the Asperger-Syndrome for me?

Even tho some ‘

social justice warriors

’ or other autistic people will hate me for that I tell you what it is for me: A disorder and a disability and also an other view of life.

Are disorders and disabilities bad for me? Is it bad and wrong to call Autism like that? No. Why? Because people are used to use these words as offenses or general in a negative point? Sry, that’s not my problem. If these people seriously yell at me calling my own Autism as disorder and disability, because they find it bad and discrimanting - because their definition of it is negative - then those people are discriminating – not me - because they think disabled people with a disorder are negative in some way and that’s why it’s wrong to call them like that. This is discriminating and hurting by these people and they do anything with this attitude except something good.

Autism is a disorder. Autism is a disability. This is a fact and this doesn’t make us to worse or less valuable people than others. If you really automatically think my disability makes myself less valuable to others it means to me that you think it is something negative too and this is discriminating! Never mind how you try to turn it.

So why is it a disability and disorder besides the medical fact that it is? 1st I am disabled in social communication. Never mind how good I probably am in articulating myself and formulating things, I still don’t now how to start a conversation, how to get to know someone, not even how to meet people. In fact I am even nervous about meeting new people, being in a room with strange new people with whom I am supposed to work closer in future is a bit hard for me. I am incredibly insecure, especially because of my bullying experience.

I hate having small-talk or being unnecessary ‘polite’ ... like not saying the total truth about something and lie a little bit instead to make people not feel uncomfortable which is wrong in my opinion. But that’s how society works. And while people without Autism know how ‘the cookie crumbles’ and they have no issues with behaving like this I feel uneasy about it and as honest I am with my words and thoughts, so am I with my feelings which means that I can’t hide it when I’m feeling uneasy. Society feels uneasy about me feeling uneasy because these ‘simple’ society actions. You see where this goes.

2nd I have issues with reading faces and recognizing voices. That means I can’t always tell if a person is angry, annoyed, okay or happy and I can’t tell by the person’s voice if he or she is angry, stressed, annoyed, sad, anything like this which is usually also a special key to some kind of social communication. All I can do is ask if he or she is okay or what’s the matter but I have met many people in my life and some of them think that it should be so obvious how they feel that I must be a silly cunt to not notice it. Or maybe worse: they think I don’t care and I pretend to care to make people think that I am a good person but in fact I am ignorant. Yes, that’s what some people once thought of me.

3rd I am disabled to have a normal everyday life in – for example - summer time when it is hot outside. It’s not like just being done because it’s so warm and I am sweating, no. People who know me well have seen me during hot summer times and I am absolutely useless. I am like totally done, almost dead if you really want to know. In case that I go outside because the temperatures are not too hot and I am able to move in the sun (and because I need food, you know, don’t wanna starve) there is an other problem: the sun light. I go out, the sun and its light burns down on me and suddenly I hardly see a thing, everything I watch shines in a horrible bright light and literally blends me. I need to wear sunglasses for that, sometimes even in the late afternoon when the sun light isn’t that bright anymore. Even then, because my Autism is also a kind of ‘high sensibility’ if it’s about sun light or certain kind of noises and sounds. In addition I am not always able to handle stress and busy situations. Stress knocks me out sometimes and it’s not like just being stressed, no. Sometimes I start crying. I’m having an overload, a so-called meltdown (which is also something I’d like to write about in an other post) which means I am crying for hours and having a mental and emotional break down. All the emotions I actually felt for a quite long time and which I’ve held back because I know that in these situations these emotions would make them worse... all these emotions, sometimes including emotions I think I didn’t even know that they exist, are coming out. It’s like me being a huge frozen mointain, completely made of ice, the emotions which come out because of the stress are getting hot and making my frozen shell melt and break down... I am literally a frozen vulcano who explodes with all its emotions. Now tell me: do you think I could work in a stressy job for eight or more hours a day without having these break downs?

To the question why it is a disorder: No person has got the right to decide what’s normal and what’s not. But comparing my issues and my behavior in certain situations because of my condition to the behavior of other people without this condition, it is definitely a disorder. When it comes to the situations I am disable to handle ... it is like me being a television which loses its signal right within a good television show. I have literally no signal in these moments. I am having a disruption. Do you say your television is not having a disruption then? ‘It is not having a disruption, it is just special.’ God damn, that sounds kinda discrimanting, doesn’t it?

I am disabled. I’m having a disorder. But that doesn’t make me to a bad person and less valuable than anyone else. You know, I can learn, how to communicate. I can learn, what to do in stressy situations. I can learn to read expressions, learn and study different expressions or the sound of voices in different emotions. I can learn this all.

Disability is a medical fact for me. It describes or is a ‘name’ for the issues we have. I will always be disabled like – even tho this is an extreme example, don’t blame me for that, please – a person who’s sitting in the wheel chair because he or she lost his or her leg in an accident, in a war, anything like that. BUT as this person can learn to walk with a prothesis so they won’t be stopped at all, so I can and will learn to communicate and manage my life and find my place in this world. I will always be disabled but I’ll never be impaired. I don’t wanna be changed or even pitied, I want to be accepted and luckily there are people who accept and also love me the exact way I am.

I really want to mention again: please, don’t blame or hate me for comparing me with a person who lost a leg and has to sit in the wheel chair... I know this life is worse and it is horrible and not really comparable with my disorder. But I just want to make a point.

Autism is an other way of to be and even tho there are so many different autistic people everyone of ‘us’ is different and when you know one autistic person then you know exactly one. Only one. Meet more of us and you’ll know who we really are.

I hope you took the time to read it all and that I could explain at least a little to you what the Asperger-Syndrome is. There are some informations in the internet and in some books, medical facts and experiences as well as personal ones, blogs like this or even youtube channels. Feel free to check them all out but please educate yourself correctly and stop putting us all in a box.

Thanks for reading. Good bye!

#autism #autism spectrum condition #autism spectrum disorder #autism spectrum #asperger #aspergers #asperger syndrome #lost in the spectrum #enlightenment #education

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theemightypen · 5 years

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Did u mean to slip feralmir into ur latest too wise chapter?In particular the part “Had either of them witnessed you two kissing on the walls, you might have become a widow before you were a wife” did u mean to imply tht Boromir&Denethor wouldve been so displeased?Would u mind if I asked why?I was a bit confused by that,wouldnt they appreciate that he hadnt chosen a gondorean noblewoman to scandalize?I was wondering if I misunderstood something;I love this fic&ur writing so much!Sry 4my English!

1) I’m sorry this took me like 8 million years to answer!!

2) Yes, I did mean for Feralmir to make an appearance. (I blame @lesbiansforboromir for how tickled I am by the idea of charming-but-scandalous-rogue Faramir). But I feel like I should clarify: Denethor and Boromir would have been upset to see him kissing ANYONE up in full few of everyone, Gondorian or otherwise. (Denethor would arguably the most upset, Boromir would be more like “dammit AGAIN with the antics”, at least in my mind.)

In fact, it’s arguably worse that he and Eowyn kissed in front of the whole city--she’s Rohirric royalty, sister-daughter to the old king and actual sister to the new. Poor Denethor would have a coronary if someone were to be like “Oh yeah, spotted Faramir laying a BIG OLE SMOOCH on Lady Eowyn today”, because wow, the potential for diplomatic disaster is now an immediate concern? Because Eowyn isn’t some random lady, or even a Gondorian one, whose family could be placated by the fact that yeah, he’s Feralmir, but he’s Denethor’s son, a loyal captain of the White Tower, and there are worse men for a girl to be tied to, even if it’s because of a “scandalous” event.

Eowyn is the Slayer of the Witch King! The White Lady of Rohan! Sister to a very large, very powerful, young king with a damn near legendary temper! Faramir, you horrible child, are you TRYING to give your poor father a heart attack? You can’t just go around kissing wounded war heroes in full view of Minas Tirith! What are you--Oh. You want to marry her. And she wants to marry you? Well, then.

And thus, crisis is averted, Faramir and Eowyn still end up betrothed, Boromir gives his little brother clean-up duties for a month and Denethor has a headache for a week. Aragorn is, presumably, very amused by the whole thing.

#ask response #too wise to peaceably woo #eowyn x faramir #listen Feralmir remains the FUNNIEST thing to come out of my experience with the LOTR fandom #but yeah denethor would be having a ROUGH couple of days post-Pelennor #he's gotta deal with aragorn AND faramir's antics???? plus a recovering city??? thank god boromir is there to be sensible #oh no now i want to WRITE IT no one tell Erran

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daz4i · 4 years

Text

uuuuuh ok i really need to vent rn probably but 1 on 1 convos are a bit too intimate for me rn heh, hoping the read more thingie works properly, this’ll probably contain heavy themes of suicide and depression and all that jazz so please don’t read if you are/could be triggered by that stuff

like 2 days ago i got an idea for. well. a way to kill myself that i haven’t actually tried yet. but there’s a good chance it’ll fail honestly. and i do have a good chance for it now, esp bc of how ~poetic~ it’ll be if i do it rn (god this is so edgy of me asjhdf). but i’m a fucking coward and also don’t wanna know what’ll happen if i fail tbh (i mean, i’ll either be in a hospital or a mental ward, both are terrible and also super ironic considering it’s my birthday and one reason i was so dreading it is bc i spent my 16th and 19th bdays in hospitals). and my head and chest are filled with this feeling you get when you almost die or experience a lot of pain, like this sort of breathlessness as if i already tried it and i’m not just thinking about it rn, and everything feels kind of far away. honestly this feeling is kind of lessening as i type this, so ig venting was a good idea? but. still. i just,,, really want to die, i spent like 90% of my waking hours in the last week just thinking about suicide and death or actively forcefully avoiding thinking about them and it’s so exhausting, life is so exhausting and so meaningless, i’ve completely given up and like, i wasn’t kidding in my earlier post when i said i peaked at 13 so every birthday is painful bc. well. yeah. i can’t see myself ever getting better or becoming a person or even functioning, i just get worse every day and avoid more and more things every day because i just can’t handle or bring myself to experience anything because everything is too much all the time, and meds don’t help (i’ve tried so many types for so many years and nothing actually made me Better. like, i could go outside and handle social shit better, but i still wanted to kill myself all the time, and my creativity was nonexistent which only made me more suicidal, and i kept getting in fights with people and wasn’t able to hold any friendship), and therapy doesn’t help (been at it since i was like 14-ish, with my current therapist since i was 16, and while i got better in the social aspect, i still feel terrible all the time and can’t bring myself to actually function), and being 21 marks me being being depressed and suicidal for a decade now, nearly half of my life. i don’t think even if i wanted to i could get better or become a person bc every time i try anything i end up being simply unable to handle it because of trauma related shit or my sensory issues or my depression/anxiety and just. life is boring and the only english word i could find for this is “causing despair”. i just feel so terrible and somehow i STILL can’t bring myself to try to off myself bc i’m a fucking coward who can’t even kill myself right, as all my previous attempts showed me, and failing is too risky now that i know how awful it is to be in a hospital, esp considering my trauma from it. just. i’m tired. i’m really fucking tired and birthdays are fucking depressing. both “cards” (idk the english word sry) i got from one of my friends and from my mom had really heavy hints of “please don’t die” which is also kind of depressing bc i’m at this point of my life where everyone just has to actively keep me alive since i’m not able to, or they straight up have to beg me not to kill myself and like. ok i won’t. but what then. i’m not like physically dead but i certainly feel like it on the inside and it’s not like i do anything, and i still have to be alive even at the times when i’m not with you and those times are just. suffering. being alive is suffering being alive is so painful my existence is so pathetic i can’t handle it. i’m exhausted, i never asked to be here, and i would like off this ride please.

#i'd say ''like if you read through'' but this is so long i doubt anyone could heh sorry #also i'm REALLY sorry for venting but idk. i do /want/ someone to care #which is why i don't just write it for myself in a doc i'll never show anyone #but. i don't wanna burden anyone. so really skip it if you need/want to

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destroyalovesu · 5 years

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was tagged by the lovely @dizi-s, thanks for the tag !!

nicknames: still waiting for someone to give me a really cool one. any day now

zodiac: the most cancer cancer to ever cancer

height: 158 cm, no i dont know what that is in subway sandwiches sry americans

last movie i watched: vaiana was on tv when i was @ my mom’s so we watched it together. she liked the ending

last thing i searched: susanna koski, this shitty finnish politician who hates poor ppl, bc i was complaining abt how she got crazy high “adjustment benefit” money from the government when she was voted out, meanwhile the government-funded day care i was substituting at today literally doesn��t have the money to pay for a cleaner to come in 5 days a week (which left me scrubbing toilets all afternoon even tho that is very much not my job, but thats neither here nor there). anyway i just wanted to get her name right while cursing it to hell

fave musician: rebecca black (if you only know her from friday i feel sorry for you, you are missing out on some quality indie pop)

song stuck in my head: something by kimya dawson but i cant for the life of me figure out which song??? if you can think of a song by her (or the moldy peaches) that goes “for worse or for better”, hmu bc this is driving me off the wall

do i get asks: sometimes? i havent been active on this blog for very long so not too often

following: my heart, and my two tired but hardworking brain cells

amount of sleep: ive been doing my best to sleep like a functional member of society now that i got a job so i try to get at least 8 hours (during the night time and everything)

lucky number: 42

what i’m wearing: pink tartan pj pants and a very old tank top that has a picture of a drunk tucan on it that says “wild bird”

dream job: id love to support myself with just my writing and performing (tho considering i had to buy my own copy of the last book i was featured in the chances of that happening any time soon arent exactly sky high)

dream trip: oh man i really wanna go to crete again. we used to go as a family but thats not really a thing anymore (the trips or the family). so id love to just go visit our friends alone or maybe with my brother

favorite food: idk if fava is technically considered a food by itself but i sure could eat boatloads of it. also stuffed zucchini flowers and avocado pasta

play an instrument: nahhhhh. i used to play the piano but ive forgotten most of it

languages: finnish, english, and a laughably small amount of german and swedish. oh and im currently learning chinese so we’ll see how that goes

random fact: the ugly road to adulthood is one on which you will repeatedly discover you are capable of both more cruelty and kindness than you previously imagined. also i have a tattoo of carrie fisher on my side

describe your aesthetic: “listen just because you look like a homeless gay teacher who occasionally gets possessed by glitter doesn’t mean i think it’s ugly” - my best friend (aka @lumi-kukka) about my style

alternatively, this box i saw in a thrift store a while back

im tagging @appelsiinilynx, @noir-renard, and @mdzushi, if yall wanna (and havent already been tagged fifty times lmao)

#tagged meme #my post

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lostsoulinb · 5 years

Text

Brussel, 19/12

Babe. Im sry for...being annoying...again! But i dont want and know anyone else to share my thought with. I just want to talk to s.one that listen to me. Really listen. I dont want to ask for solutions bcuz i know and have then for my own already. Its just...hard to keep doing them ^^

Im stress with my study 😅 i know i told u that its ok today but only for today. Its tricky for me to read and remember things in English. I know the only way to improve it is trying harder. But my period makes my mood always go down :( makes me dont wanna do anything. Lately i work out and it help boost my energy..a bit. But today is....hmmm....worse than normal.

Im stress abt the work too. Im half want to focus on the exam half want to find a job. I feel now it is too hard to study and to work at the same time. So i decide to find a job after the exam. Hope that it will be ok for next year.

I miss my hometown too. Yes. Again 🙃 evryone..my friends r in gud mood..holiday mood while im here...*sigh*. Sry if this make u sad. Ofc i wanna be with u but when i saw their pics hang out together, i want to be with them. My family too..my bro will visit my parent on this weekend. My birthday. Usually i'll be there to spend it with them. I always spend this time of year with them..at least for 2 or 3 days if there r exams. Hmm. I miss them. Miss the way I can snivel my dad, the way I help and annoy my mom and bro. I miss my pets too. They r always happy and welcome me when i get home. There is nothing like this here... Stimes, when im sleeping here, i dream that i am in my bed, with my cat and all the visions r the same as in my room. I even dreamed that i heard the sound when my mom get up like she does in evry morning. I mean.. it likes...i really felt that i was home. But when im awake..it drops me back to the reality... Its harder to get up..day by day...

Sry. Again. For annoying u!

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sometimesrosy · 6 years

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Sry my english isn't the best, Rosy, but in my opinion it's understandable and relatable that B forgave E over the course of six years, but not to fall in love with her. these are two different pair of shoes. so what's your explanation for that? i really can't bring myself to believe that he loves her. like u said before, he maybe 'loves' E but is not IN love with her bc she's family for him now. But i think even THIS is a huge step from 'only' just forgiving to loving. I can't get it completely

Well… I’m not sure he’s “in” love with her. I’m pretty sure we’re going to see the difference (again) between “in love with” and “loving” someone. They set up that difference with Finn in season 1 and never brought it up again, and I think that was an important bit of foreshadowing for the future. Namely, for our soulmates, partners, and heroes, Bellarke.

Also. Six years is a LONG time. If you spend that with only 6 other people, and little to do and no one else to associate with, you actually GET TO KNOW them.

The forgiveness took THREE years.

That means they had another three years to become friends and lovers. We actually don’t know how long they’ve been together. Three years is a long time.

Okay. How could they fall in love? If that’s what it is?

Story time: Picture this. NYC, the90s.

23 year old me, in a FWB thing with Randall. Totally fall in love with him and he with me, but it wasn’t about commitment so it faded away.

I meet Leo when 24, am in love and a committed relationship with him by 25. Break up at 26.5 and decide we’re better as friends.

I meet Steve that summer and have a whirlwind romance, fall head over heels dramatically in love. He breaks up with me 6 weeks later. I am still not 27.

I meet Ronen at when I am 29. Mutual crushing. Hookup right after I turn 30. Head over heels in love. Committed relationship. He dumps me 6 months later.

I added one extra year to spacekru’s 6 years because it took a while to develop with randall and ronen started before we got together. Oh, and none of those are the 12 year relationship I had with the father of my children.

So in a similar amount of time, I fell in love, not once, but FOUR SEPARATE TIMES. No overlap. Only one of the relationships was sudden, all the others had months of buildup. I was in 4 separate acknowledged relationships that both began and ended in that time.

If he’s forgiven Echo and learned who she is as a person then, by definition, what you hold against her is no longer a problem. That’s what forgiveness means. 3 years is enough time to get into a real relationship with someone.

I honestly think a lot of people don’t understand how LONG six years is. And how much people grow in that time. And how love is… well, love is organic too. It grows. Sometimes quick, sometimes slow.

And also, having sex with people does NOT mean it’s true love. Sex is not some sacred covenant. Sometimes it’s about filling a need. Passing time. Enjoying someone’s company. Expelling tension. Wanting to screw. Bonding with someone. Caring about someone. Needing closeness. Having fun.

Bellamy didn’t have anyone else to be with. Bellamy wanted to live his life and have something good in his life. Here is Echo, who is now his friend and part of his crew.

WHY SHOULDN’T HE?

Have you seen her? She’s GORGEOUS. And she cares for him.

WHY SHOULDN’T HE?

Because she did some bad things six years ago? He did worse things, honestly. He sacrificed 300 of his own people for his sister. He killed David Miller. He risked Emori and Murphy. Murphy told him.

WHY SHOULDN’T HE?

Because he loves Clarke?

LOVED. She’s dead. And I’m sure he still hurts from that. But no one should grieve for that long. I was horrified at the people who thought Clarke should be alone forever after L died. Who thought she should die right alongside her. YOU GET TO RECOVER. YOU GET TO LOVE AGAIN.

Y’all are being very selfish being unable to see how Bellamy could move on with Echo. It is SUPREMELY logical and eminently, emotionally healthy. and sexy. And set up with the narrative development. If you think it hasn’t been set up, you’re ignoring the canon.

Clarke would have done it. Clarke DID do it with L. He befriends his enemies and falls for them just like Clarke.

Methinks the fandom doth protest too much.

#the 100 #bellamy blake #b/e #clarke griffin #echo #it's about love #story time #6years is a long time

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