This is niche (maybe) but please share more about ice and mav at Oshkosh!! Do they go yearly? Or just the one time? Are they part of any aviation enthusiast communities???

yes yes yes!!! going to air shows is 100% a date for both of them. i feel like: a couple things:

- they’ve both probably seen the blue angels so many times it’s not super exciting anymore, and until they retire & become private citizens it’s also too big of a Thing for them to go, so they try to go to civilian/private air shows if they can

- one exception is fleet week for obvious rzns. They both probably have to do shit for fleet week on the reg. Ice especially

- i do keep thinking it would be funny for mav to do like a two year tour with the BAs at some point but there wasn’t room for that in the narrative so it’s Schrödinger’s headcanon

- before they retire their schedules are super crazy packed & don’t always line up, even if they request certain dates (like each other’s birthdays, Xmas, thanksgiving, Oshkosh etc) off in advance, so Oshkosh specifically doesn’t become yearly until after they retire. But after they retire they do annually fly in to Oshkosh in their p-51. lots of picnic lunch breaks in Reno/Omaha/Boise etc

- theyve been to the big international air shows (farnborough, Paris, NOT dubai for security/gay people issues, etc) together a couple times when they can swing it. (Me looking for any excuse to send them back to europe on vacation) but before they retire it’s also probably a Thing. So Thing-ness (public & Navy engagement etc) has to be accounted for when they’re planning their trip. they do have a responsibility to rep the Navy as best as they can etc etc

- Thing-ness also has to be accounted for when joining aviation enthusiast groups… after they retire & get married hell yes!!! they probably have a ton of civilian aviation friends & are pretty involved. not before their marriage though. It takes a while for them to come out of the hidden little shell they’ve been living in for thirty years & make friends as a real couple. but they do eventually.

Bₗₒg ₄₋₁₃₋₂₀₂₄

I have decided to make my post pretty sometimes, as a treat. I cannot promise that I will always do this, but I'm feelin' pretty alright right now and I feel like doing it, so I'm doing it!

I think I'm not going to hold myself to any standard with this blog aside from my tags to help my future self find past entries. The main thing I want this blog to be is an outlet. I don't want to end up avoiding posting here because I don't feel up to making the post look or sound good, ya know?

Anyway, I don't know if I have much to write about today. At least, what I feel like writing about.

I went to Nashville with my boyfriend a few weeks ago to meet his parents for the first time. I have mixed feelings about it. They're lovely people and I especially like his mom.

But I noticed that during the whole trip, he was masking in front of them. And at the end of the day, when we were alone in our room, he seemed exhausted from having to put up that front of being "normal" all day. And that just really sucks. It honestly hurt. It hurt me to see that because I love him. I love him so much. I love who he is, I love that he's kinda quirky and weird. I love his interests and how he infodumps and the way he paces constantly when he talks. But he felt like he had to hide that from his parents and that makes me so sad.

I wish they loved him the way I love him; unconditionally.

There's a whole other complicated situation regarding him and his parents and I have my own feelings about that, but I don't feel at liberty to write about it here. I feel like it's more his business than mine, so I won't write about it out of respect for his privacy. But suffice to say, I feel for him. My heart hurts for what he's going through.

On a brighter note, I just took my official GED social studies test and passed! I took it on Thursday and found I passed about 10-15 minutes after I finished. This was my first time taking an official GED test!

There are four tests you have to take to get your GED. Social studies, science, math, and reading. So I'm one quarter of the way to getting my GED! This is the closest I've ever been and I'm honestly so proud of myself. I can hardly believe it, to be honest.

High school was extremely hard for me. I was battling extreme academic anxiety, depression, and had undiagnosed ADHD. School was unbearable for me. I dreaded waking up everyday, just the thought of opening my backpack to start homework was enough to send me into an anxiety attack, I openly talked about wanting to kill myself every single day.

My grades were only good enough to scrape me by. In some classes, I even outright failed. Namely, chemistry and algebra in 10th grade. Math was always my hardest subject. It just never clicked with me. I didn't pay attention in most of my classes. I never really did projects or papers. The only class I thrived in was English. I've always been good with reading and writing and I've always been proud of that. I was also pretty okay at Spanish. Lowest grade I ever got in that class was probably a C.

Anyway, I was also attending a dual high school/college program from 9th-10th grade. We took real college classes alongside our high school ones and earned college credits. When we graduated, we also earned an Associate's Degree.

I dropped out after 10th grade; the pressure was too much. The anxiety was too much. I felt like I could never breathe.

After I dropped out, I enrolled in an online school instead. I thought that, if I didn't have to wake up at a certain time and get ready and go to a physical place and interact with people all day, that maybe that would help.

It didn't.

Still, the thought of even opening the laptop and logging into class would hit me with a wave of anxiety that would make me nauseous. I was always avoiding school.

When you're in an online school, you need to log in a minimum amount of hours in the school year to be able to pass and continue to the next grade, regardless of how well you're doing. At some point toward the end of the school year, my mother got a call from my school, telling her that I hadn't logged in enough during the year and that there wasn't enough time left in the school year for me to make up the time - I got expelled.

So I had to repeat my junior year. 11th grade, I tried a new online school.

To be honest with you, I don't think I would've passed that year either. I still barely logged in. Still barely did my work.

But it never got that far because the school I was attending was literally shut down in the middle of the year.

So... I was kind of just left floating. I could either put myself through more personal hell by enrolling in a fourth school, or I could just call it quits and get my GED instead. I was 17 going on 18 at this point.

School was torment for me. I knew what I was going to do.

But, unfortunately for me, I was an anomaly that no one knew what to do with. When I turned 18, I started trying to get my GED. Well, I was aiming to take the HiSet test, but it's basically the same thing. However, in order to be able to get your high school equivalency, the state needs proof that you dropped out of high school. You're not legally allowed to have a high school diploma and a high school equivalency and the state is very strict about this. I don't know why anyone would go through the trouble of getting a GED if they already have a high school diploma (seriously, it's a HASSLE trying to get this fucking thing) and I don't know why it would even matter if someone did. Regardless, they're extremely strict about this rule. However, because my school shut down and literally did not exist anymore, I couldn't contact anyone to get official paperwork saying that I dropped out.

Eventually, I just had to write something myself explaining the situation.

But that wasn't the only hurdle! Of course it wasn't! Because this is my life we're talking about!

Whenever I would go online to try to schedule my test, the website would give me an error and tell me that I wasn't old enough to take the fucking test!!!!!!!!

This was something that could not be bypassed!

I tried. I fucking TRIED to get my GED when I was 18 fucking years old. I wanted to. I tried to. But time after time, I was a victim of circumstance.

Do you understand how it feels to know that the world views you as lazy and unintelligent and aloof when you know that isn't true? It feels like having a labelled stamped on your forehead and no one takes the time to listen to what you have to say to explain yourself after they read what you are. You get shoved in with a group of people that are looked down upon, that are considered less than. It feels like screaming at a brick wall.

So now I'm 23, going on 24, and I passed my first quarter of the GED test.

So much has happened in my life that has taken my attention away from education. And really, I just felt like it wasn't for me. My brain didn't work the right way. I'm not compatible with the way school works.

I think I'm starting to feel differently now that I'm medicated. I'm not certain. I'm still very hesitant about it because of the fact that school was my own personal hell for so long and I wish I were exaggerating. But I've been going to math classes twice a week to study for the math quarter of the test and surprisingly I'm the student in the class that the teacher has to say "Let someone else answer," to. Almost everything just clicks and makes sense? I don't know why math is suddenly kind of easy for me. I fear even saying that out loud because I might jinx it.

Math used to feel like reading a language I'd never seen before. But it doesn't feel like that anymore and I don't know why. It's actually kind of scary? I'm scared I'll lose it.

Anyway, I have two more tests scheduled already. Science and reading. I'm not worried about reading, I could pass that in my sleep. I didn't even bother taking the practice test. Science I was worried about initially, but apparently it's the test with the highest passing rate, and I did really well on the practice test, so I shouldn't have anything to worry about, really.

I'm gonna walk that fuckin' stage in July if it kills me! '24, baby!

The Chosen Couple (Part 1)

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary- Peter and you have a movie night to celebrate the school year ending, but the night takes an unexpected turn. (Not that you minded of course)

(Btw- the reader is an avenger, and Tony is kind of her father figure)

Warnings- None really, just tooth-rotting fluff and awkward confessions.

Word Count- 2.2k

Posted April 21, 2021

Here is Part 2 and Part 3

God, I hate the rain, you thought as you ran across the street, pulling your jacket even further up your head. You knew you should’ve bought an umbrella or even a raincoat, but since it was movie night, you didn’t even hesitate to run to Peter’s house after you dropped your bags at home. Every Friday was the same. Either you or Peter would have the privilege to pick what movie you guys wanted to watch, and then both of you would relax on the sofa until you left, or fell asleep.

This Friday was different though. It was the last day of school, so the day was even longer than usual. Everybody was just glad that the year was over, and summer had finally arrived. Sophomore year had been challenging, especially Physics, but you couldn’t wait for the next two months. Obviously saying goodbye to your friends had been bittersweet, but the feeling of relief of not having to do any homework or tests triumphed over the sadness. Tonight, you and Peter would watch movies until morning, and eat every possible snack you could find. The entire week had been leading up to this.

Trying to shield your face from the sharp drops of water, you finally reached the door, pushing it open with one hand, the other occupied with holding four huge packets of chips. Finally reaching the top floor, you dropped the bag on the floor, holding your knees and taking a breather. Hey, not all of us have superpowers to walk up seven flights of stairs and not get breathless. Pushing the jacket off your back, you knocked on the door, bouncing on your feet, waiting for Peter. A couple of seconds later, after the sound of a thud on the floor and May’s laughter, the door flung open, revealing a flustered Peter.

“Hey Y/n!”, he breathed out, smiling his signature grin before engulfing you in a hug. You felt his arms circle around yourself, pulling you close. Smiling slightly, you reciprocated, throwing your hands around his neck.

“Hi Peter”, you said, your voice muffled in his sweatshirt. Pulling away from him, you pushed him off me, laughing at the cute pout on his face. “I’m soaking wet with this thing on me.” Plucking the clingy jacket off yourself, you squeezed it, water splashing off it. Peter stifled a laugh, taking the bag out of your hands.

“Drenched, aren’t you?”

Elbowing him, you gave him the bags of snacks, muttering sarcastically. “That’s the sympathy I get for bringing the best food for our movie nights”

“Ooh, Doritos and… sour cream Lays!” He looked up at you, smirking. “You got the good ones.” Rolling your eyes, you nodded, walking inside the apartment.

“Is there any place I can dry this?”, you asked, referring to the sad bundle of cloth in your hand. Peter took it from you, despite your complaints.

“Let me do it. You are my guest”, he said, looking over his shoulder, winking and he threw it into the washing machine.

“Well, I am your guest every other day”, you shot back, walking into the kitchen. It was true anyway. The Parker’s house is your second house. The tower was nice and all, but with all the Avengers and Bucky and Sam constantly arguing, it can get annoying fast. Peter’s house is a shadow of calm in your life. Ever since you found out he was Spiderman, well, (he actually told you, but that’s a different story), you tried to come to his house every night to make sure he was fine. Tony had stopped you from fighting crime since last month due to exams, as well as Peter, but it didn’t stop you from coming and visiting him. You know, since he was your best friend.

“Hi sweetie!”, May called out, embracing you. Knowing where Peter got his talent for amazing hugs, you hugged her back, smelling the scent of warm cookies and cinnamon. Realizing that the smell of cookies was coming from behind her, you looked across, seeing a batch of cookies starting to burn.

“May! The cookies!”

“Oh-oh!” Running at them, she grabbed a towel, quickly pulling the burning hot cookies out of the oven.

“Here!” Pushing some of the items off the counter, you made some space for the tray of cookies. Dropping the tray down with a clatter, she blew on them, fanning the golden-brown discs with her hand. “They look awesome Aunt May!”

“Aww, thanks Y/N”, she said, staring at the cookies on the table. “They are, aren’t they?”

Smiling, you nodded, getting hungrier just looking at them. “Oh my god, what smells so good?” Peter called out, walking out of his room. Gesturing to the perfect cookies on the table, you pointed to May.

“Wait a second, they aren’t burned” Peter looked at May in astonishment, carefully taking one off the pan and biting it. “It tastes perfect May!” She merely smiled, walking over to the counter, grabbing her purse and some packs of gum. Now noticing her clothes, you called out.

“Where are you going, Aunt May?”

She looked back at me, quickly applying some lip gloss. “Oh just a night out with my friends. I need it. Plus-”, she glanced at the TV and then Peter, “- I know how loud movie nights can get.” You laughed, jumping off the chair and walking to the front door. Grabbing an umbrella, you gave it to her, mumbling about how to not make the same mistake you did. “Okay sweetheart. I’ll see you both in a few hours. I might stay over at Ashley’s house, but I’ll call you if that happens.” Kissing Peter on the cheek, she walked out, shutting the door behind her.

The minute the door closed, Peter jumped up, pulling you towards the sofa, showing you the array of snacks that he placed out. “Okay, so we have chips, chocolate, cookies that May made and there is ice cream in the fridge.” His eyebrows furrowed like he was remembering something but his eyes lit up in recognition when he was the small box next to the door. “Oh, and Mr Stark sent over a couple of things for us for tonight.”

Chuckling, you told him to get those, while you picked out the movie. Trying to choose one between Star Wars and Harry Potter, you chose the latter, knowing that you two were going to have a Star Wars marathon in the near future anyway. Grabbing the remote, you chose the first movie, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, pausing it to wait for Peter. Looking for him, you saw him standing at the door, the box lying open, untouched. He was holding a small index card, his face bright red.

“Hey Pete, you alright?” Worried, you slipped your hand under your shorts, feeling the edges of your dagger sitting over there. Pulling it out, you carefully walked over to him, thinking that something was wrong. However, when you got closer, Peter heard me, turning around so fast he hit his head on the wall. Crumpling the card in his palm, he threw it behind him, smiling nervously. “Are you okay? What was that?”

“Nothing”, he replied, too quickly. Quirking your eyebrow, you shrug, letting it go.

“What did Mr Stark send for us?”, you asked, trying to get a glimpse at the box.

“Uhh, just some snacks and drinks. I think there was some cold coffee in here as well. Why don’t I go heat us some?”, he said in a high voice, the same one he used when he lied.

Not even letting you get a look at the mystery box, he began pushing you towards the couch, mumbling something under his breath.

“Y/N, your t-shirt is soaked! Why didn’t you tell me?”

You shrugged half-heartedly, not wanting to go home and change. Seeing your expression, he pushed me down the sofa, telling me to wait. A beat later, he ran back, holding out a dark blue hoodie with a picture of Luke Skywalker on the back. “Here, change into this. Don’t wanna get a cold”

A half giggle escaped me as you took it from him, walking over to the bathroom as you changed into it. Pulling it on, the familiar scent of Peter embraced me. The plush inside of it felt warm against your skin, making me shiver involuntarily. Biting your lip, you looked into the mirror, liking the sight of Peter’s hoodie on me. The more you stared at your reflection, the fuzzier you felt. This just seemed like a very boyfriend thing to do. To be honest, you always thought of Peter as more than just a best friend. The first time you saw him was in 8th grade. You had just moved to Queens, due to your parent’s job, and you were quite excited. It had been a month since you had gotten your newfound power of controlling objects with your mind. It was hard. Your parents didn’t know about it just yet, and it was getting harder to block out your power off from simple everyday objects. You remember how one time you almost threw a plate at your mom because she was freaking out about your Math grades. Soon after you had moved in, you met Peter Parker. He lived across the street from you, wearing glasses and carrying lego boxes home most days. Since you were the same age, it was only a matter of time before you two became friends. And friends you became.

“Hey Y/N! You alright?”, Peter yelled out from the living room, cutting me out from your thoughts. Shrugging your shoulders, you walked out, seeing him sitting comfortably on the couch, chips, ice cream and some sandwiches in his hand.

“Delmars?”, you asked, nodding to the sub in his palm.

“Yup got it earlier” Pulling the sleeves into your hands, you brought the hoodie closer, loving the warmth. “Come here, I’m freezing”, Peter said, making ‘grabby hands. Chuckling, you carefully jumped in, arms curling his midsection. Resting your head on his shoulder, you grabbed the remote, pressing play.

On the screen, the intro of Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone began showing up, as Peter scrunched up his nose. “Wait, Harry Potter?”

“Yeah, it’s my turn? Remember?”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s mine. The last time was yours.”

“But I had an extra one, right?”, you looked at him accusingly, “because you came and ruined my date.”

He looked down sheepishly, trying to hide the small smile. It had happened about 3 weeks ago when Brad Davis had asked you out. You couldn’t begin to explain how hard it was to explain to him why Spiderman had swooped me out of the sky to go help him do English homework. But truthfully, you weren’t vibing with him. He talked too much about sports and how much he worked out. No offence Brad, but you could backflip him out of a window within minutes. Sadly, he didn’t know that you were an Avenger, so you had to act like you were interested in his biceps for 2 hours straight. Thank god Peter had shown up, otherwise, you would have had a very awkward conversation with him.

“Fine fine”, Peter muttered, grabbing a few chips and stuffing them in his mouth.

“Aww, come on”, you said, threading your hands in his curls, “you love Harry Potter” Smiling cheekily, though it sent a twinge of pain through your heart, you teased. “Especially Hermione Granger”

His cheeks turning pink, he mumbled. “No, I don’t”

“Uh-huh”

“Alright alright, let’s just do this!”

“We have literally all summer, I’m sure we can spend some time discussing your crush on Hermione”

“In that case, let’s talk about Mrs Potter over here”

“Okay, I think we got it”, you said, making the word much longer. We grinned at each other, ready to watch the movie, as the intro began playing in the background. Little did you know that these beautifully crafted cinematic adventures that you guys were about to have would change your relationship with Peter forever.

Thanks for reading till all the way here! If you liked this, please follow me and I’ll send out the next part in a couple of days :)

Here is Part 2 and Part 3

Of Blushes and Butterflies

Pairing: Reggie Peters x Luke Patterson

Word Count: 1.8K 

Warnings: None? 

A/N: Happy holidays @penguin-writes-books! I’m your secret santa for the @jatpdaily Secret Santa event! I present you with a Ruke (with slight background willex) alive!au featuring Smart Reggie and a little bit of background Proud Dad Ray Molina. I really hope you like it!! <3

___

Luke knew he shouldn’t have left all his homework for the day after the band’s Orpheum showcase. His whole body felt ablaze with energy but none of it could be channeled towards his physics. Fortunately, he knew a certain green-eyed, dark-haired boy who was great at physics and would certainly help him out. So, he pulled out his phone and texted Reggie.

At the last second, Luke pulled his thumb away from the screen before pressing send on the message. Instead navigating to the call button. He faltered only briefly before pressing it, his breath catching in his throat as he waited to hear the boy’s soft and smooth voice.

“Hey Luke, what’s up?” Reggie asked cheerfully, picking up the phone after the first ring.

“Hey, Reg,” Luke responded, trying to fight back the heat in his cheeks just from hearing his friend’s voice.

He wasn’t entirely sure when the bassist had started making him feel so flustered all the time, normally Luke was cool, calm, and collected and Reggie was one of his oldest friends. Now suddenly he was finding himself at a loss for words in his presence, tongue tied and tripping over himself for the boy’s approval.

He blamed it on the chemistry incident. He never should’ve taken the guy’s bait while they waited for Julie to arrive for practice that day. They all knew that there was nothing but friendship between Luke and Julie and yet when Reggie and Alex had taunted him about their on-stage chemistry, Luke just had to prove them wrong. That’s how he had ended up staring deep into one of his oldest friend’s eyes, wondering how he’d never noticed the little flecks of gold and brown in them or all the tiny freckles dotting his nose and his cheeks.

“I, uh, might’ve put off my physics homework and need some help,” he answered sheepishly and he hear Reggie chuckle quietly on the other end, likely unsurprised. “D’you think you could come over?”

“I’ll be there in a few,’ Reggie responded before hanging up.

Luke flopped back onto his bed with a sigh, staring up at the ceiling dopily at the thought of the green-eyed boy on his way to him. Boy was he whipped.

___

Reggie was pretty sure Luke was going to be the death of him, but what a way to go.

He had spent his Sunday afternoon after their spectacular showcase at the Orpheum pressed side-by-side with the brunet, their backs pressed against Luke’s headboard while Reggie played physics tutor.  

He didn’t mind it. He knew everyone perceived him as the “dumb” one of the group and he understood why. He was usually the last one to catch on to social cues and he wasn’t the most observant of the group. However, Reggie was great at school and it was something he was really proud of. Science and math especially came really easy to him, enough so that he was on the advanced track for both at their high school. Ray had even started hanging his test grades up on the fridge with Carlos and Julie’s, the family practically adopting him when they learned about his poor home life. So no, he didn’t mind playing tutor to his friends. He actually really liked it, especially when it meant an afternoon spent pressed against a certain floppy-haired guitarist who only wore cutoffs.

He blamed Luke and his stupid, confident, mic-sharing chemistry for the butterflies that now swarmed in his stomach every time he saw the boy, though he wouldn’t trade that moment for the world. Their lips so close it took Reggie’s break away, and then the guy had the audacity to kiss his fingers and press them to Reggie’s lips with that cocky smirk as if Reggie wasn’t already aware he was bi.

It was with thoughts of how Luke’s actual lips might feel pressed against his own or how it might feel to thread his fingers through Luke’s hair that Reggie entered their Monday afternoon practice with running through his mind.  

Luke had traded the t-shirt he’d worn to school for one of his signature cut-offs (it was a shame the school dress code prohibited sleeveless shirts but it was probably better for Reggie’s grades this way) and his flexing biceps were on full display as he tuned his guitar. Reggie gulped before pressing forward into the studio, picking up his bass and fiddling with the tuning pegs as well, trying to keep his gaze away from his best friend’s arms. Fortunately, practice went off without a hitch, Reggie to focused on the music to be ogling Luke. It wasn’t until after practice that his brain decided to betray him.

“So, are we hanging out for a bit?” Luke asked flopping down on the couch after they’d put away all their instruments.

“Flynn is coming over in a bit so you guys are welcome to stay,” Julie shrugged, taking a seat in one of the arm chairs while Alex sat across from her.

“Is it alright if I invite Willie?” He asked, already pulling out his phone to send a text to his boyfriend.

“Go ahead,” Julie responded with a knowing smirk as Alex grinned down at his phone.

“So what’re we gonna do?” Luke asked excitedly and Reggie raised his brow at the bot.

“You have a physics lab due,” Reggie said, eyes flicking between Luke and his backpack.

“Not until Wednesday!” Luke protested and Reggie tilted his head as if to say ‘come on, man.’

“You should start working on it now, babe,” Reggie said, staring pointedly at Luke, only realizing too late what he’d let slip out.

“Did you just call me ‘babe’?” Luke asked turning to stare wide-eyed at him, both boys trying desperately to fight off the color rising to their cheeks.

“I, uh, I was just trying it out,” Reggie stammered, trying to hide the slip-up.

“I like it,” Luke smiled sheepishly and Reggie thought for sure that the butterflies in his stomach would burst out of him with how frantically they were fluttering.

“O-okay,” he responded, plopping down on the other side of the couch and burying his face in his notes to try to hide his red cheeks.

Despite sitting on the opposite side of the couch, somewhere along the line Reggie had migrated over to Luke, as if being pulled by a magnet, until they were pressed side-by-side once again. At some point Willie and Flynn arrived, the latter arriving first and forcing Alex and Willie to share the remaining armchair (though they didn’t seem to mind), but Reggie couldn’t have said when, too focused on trying to focus on his AP physics assignment and not the smell of Luke’s hair.

___

Luke was amazed that he’d been able to get any of his physics homework done with his thigh pressed right up against Reggie’s and their shoulders constantly bumping as they both scribbled down answers. He was pretty sure his mind had turned to goo, especially with how Reggie would stop working to peer at Luke’s paper when the boy stalled, unable to come up with the proper equation or solution, and would lean somehow closer to help him work it out. He was starting to wonder if he had died and was now being tortured in hell.

Reggie had just leaned forward again, giving Luke a whiff of his cologne? Body wash? Deodorant? He wasn’t sure what it was but it smelled amazing and he was trying to subtly bask in it while also listening to Reggie explaining something to him when Flynn’s phone rang.

She gasped loudly, slipping into her manager voice when she demanded, “Everyone stop what you’re doing right now.”

Luke froze, pencil slipping out of his hand and clattering onto the floor as Flynn took the call. Everybody in the room seemed afraid to even breathe as Flynn stood from her chair, beginning to pace in front of the band setup. Luke was trying to listen intently, hoping to glean any amount of information about the call from Flynn’s side of the conversation, but at some point Reggie had gripped Luke’s hand in his own and the contact was just about all he could focus on. Reggie was holding his hand.

When Flynn finally ended the call the rest of the group stood up to meet her with baited breath as she walked back towards the furniture. Even when they stood Reggie still kept ahold of Luke, their entwined hands now dangling between them.

“What was that about?” Julie finally broke the silence, giving her best friend a hopeful look.

“That was Andi Parker from Destiny Management and she wants to produce your first album!” Flynn announced and the studio erupted into surprised shouts.

The band of high school seniors had been steadily growing in popularity since it’s conception a few years back and they’d be lying if they hadn’t been hoping for this outcome after their Orpheum showcase.

“But wait, there’s more!” Flynn exclaimed. She paused momentarily, letting them anticipate her next words in silence before yelling, “Julie and the Phantoms are going on tour!”

If their reaction to the record deal was an eruption, this was an explosion of shouts and cheers as they celebrated. Luke was partially aware of Julie and Flynn embracing and Alex literally jumping into Willie’s arms but he wasn’t paying them much attention, his eyes flicking between Reggie and the boy’s hand still firmly intertwined with his. Even in the excitement of the moment neither had even thought about letting go. Luke was suddenly filled with a surge of emotion and before he knew what he was doing he had grasped Reggie’s face in his hands, pressing their lips together firmly.

It took a moment for Reggie’s brain to stop short-circuiting and remember to kiss back but when he did he did it with fervor, hoping to make up for the lost time. He brought his hand (the one that was not still firmly grasped in Luke’s) up to tangle itself in the brunet’s hair just as he had daydreamed about earlier. No. It was better than he had ever daydreamed. Nothing could compare to kissing Luke Patterson.

They only broke away when their friends erupted into cheers and wolf whistles, the two boy immediately reminded of the fact that they weren’t alone.

“Finally!” Flynn called as they pulled apart, faces flushed red. Luke started to pull his hand away but Reggie only gripped it tighter, silently assuring him that it was okay.

“Yeah, uh, I guess it has been a long time coming, huh Reg?” Luke said sheepishly, glancing shyly up at the boy.

Between the kiss, the hand-holding, and the hopeful look in Luke’s eyes, Reggie found himself at a complete loss for words, only able to nod feverishly in response. Thankfully it seemed to be enough for Luke, who grinned before asking,

“Be my boyfriend?”

Though it seemed an impossible feat, Reggie managed to croak out a “Yeah” before they were kissing again, their friends whooping and hollering in the background once more.

An album, a tour, and Luke and Reggie finally getting together. It was shaping up to be a pretty spectacular Monday.

Hey!

I saw you asked for requests, so how about some Redfinch and/or platonic Ralbert? Basically just Albert and the guys that make him all comfy and happy :-)

Hey, thank you very much for this request, I had so much fun writing this and I hope it turned out alright.

It’s called “A study in being subtle” and it’s basically Redfinch testing the waters of their relationship while Race is trying to help Albert with his biology homework. It’s a modern AU.

I hope you enjoy it,

Sincerely, me,

Lélodie

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Albert's head was spinning. He looked down at the notes Race was making while trying to explain to him how photosynthesis worked. Biology was one of the subjects Al hated the most but he had thought that maybe Race's presence would make it more bearable. And indeed, sitting next to Race in Biology class was a lot of fun but on the downside, he was too easily distracted to really understand what the teacher was saying.

The good thing was that Race was – even though he sometimes had the mental state of a little child – a genius when it came to science. So of course, they met up at Al's house today after school so they could do their homework together. Al just hoped that they would be finished before Finch arrived.

A smile graced his lips at the thought of his boyfriend. Boyfriend. The word still seemed a bit foreign in his mind. They hadn't been together for that long, nearly two months now, and they hadn't even told their friends that they were dating. Albert was always really careful when it came to relationships, considering that he hadn't even completely figured out his sexuality, and Finch respected that.

“... and that's it, basically. Easy peasy.” Satisfied with his conclusion, Race took a sip of his water and glanced over at Albert, only now realising that the redhead hadn't even been listening to him. “Al? You okay?”

“Mh, what? Yes, totally. Photosynthesis. Plants producing oxygen. Got it.” Contrary to his words, Albert's smile faltered while he let his gaze wander over the notes on the topic.

Race sighed deeply, taking an unlit cigarette from his pocket and put it between his lips, presumably to calm down. “Did you understand at least one of the things I've been trying to explain to you?”

“Of course!” Al retorted, maybe a bit too harsh. Yet, he couldn't help it. Languages came easy to him. Languages, sports, dancing, literally anything except for mathematics and biology and physics. He even understood a little chemistry on good days. But obviously not understanding anything made him feel weird, as if he wasn't enough and then, there was this urge to prove himself. Albert groaned and put a hand on Race's shoulder as a sign of being sorry for nearly snapping. “I understood the words you said,” he answered then.

Race laughed at that. “Well, that's something. But seriously, where was the point where it got too complicated?”

Al opened his mouth to answer but didn't get the chance to say anything because right at this moment, the doorbell rang. Confused, Al looked up. His parents weren't going to be home until at least eight in the evening and it wasn't even four yet. “I'll be right back,” he said, standing up and running down the stairs to get to the front door. Hesitantly, he opened it. The smile that had left his lips at the thought of his homework came back in an instant. “Finch,” he exclaimed, throwing his arms around the other boy.

“Hey, Al,” Finch answered, holding him tightly. “I know I'm early but my dance teacher got sick, so I had no class today and you know that sitting around, simply waiting, makes me antsy.”

“And here I thought you came early because you wanted to see me,” Albert said when the hug was over, followed by a bold wink.

“I thought that was already implied. Anyway, am I interrupting you or something? I can still come back later.”

“No, no, it's fine. It's just -” Al threw a look over his shoulder, then looked back at his boyfriend. He lowered his voice a bit. “Race is helping me with our bio homework. So maybe...”

“Got it. No couple-y stuff.” Finch nodded, intertwining their fingers for a moment to press a kiss on the back of Al's hand and let go.

Albert was certain that his face was as red as his hair. “Yes.” Hastily, so that Finch wouldn't notice him blushing, he closed the door behind the other boy and led him up to his bedroom, where Race was playing some game on his phone.

At the sound of footsteps, Race looked up. “Oh, hey, Finch. Didn't know you'd be here, too. Do you also need help with biology?”

“I am in a different course but if I need help with something, I'll let you know. Coming here was more of a spontaneous decision,” Finch answered, greeting Race with a small hug that didn't last nearly as long as the one he'd had with Al.

“So,” Al started, sitting down next to Race at his desk, after having brought another chair for Finch. “You wanted to know where it got too complicated for me, right?”

Again, Race tried to explain the topic to Al, this time with some comments from Finch, which were unexpectedly helpful most of the time. After a while though, Al got distracted once again. Since his desk wasn't that big, Finch was sitting very near, leaning unconsciously into his personal space to take a look at the notes that Race used for his explanations.

Being aware of Finch, right there, next to him, Al wanted nothing more than to lean back against his chest, feeling his warmth against his back, his touch against his skin. So he did just that. Slowly, so that Race wouldn't notice anything, he leaned back against Finch. The redhead could hear Finch's heart skipping a beat and smiled shyly, trying to concentrate on Race's words.

He was relieved upon realising that when he actually listened to what Race said, he was able to understand at least the basics of the topic.

Then, he felt fingers trailing up his arm, soft touches, barely noticeable. Finch's breath was tickling his neck and Albert nearly let out a dreamy sigh as his boyfriend pressed a feather-light kiss against his skin. Carefully, Al looked at Race but he was busy adding some facts to his former notes.

Feeling daring, all of a sudden, Al decided to go a step further.

He remembered the conversation they'd had, right at the beginning of their relationship. Both of them knew that Albert was a person that craved touch, yet it was also a known fact that Albert didn't exactly consider himself being allosexual. Of course, he appreciated the aesthetics of other people and enjoyed cuddling or little touches, yet he hadn't ever felt the need to get sexual with anyone. Therefore, they had decided to start their relationship rather slowly. Maybe trying some things and seeing how both would react to them.

Naturally, it had been a surprise for both of them when Al had suddenly, during a really soft make-out-session, exclaimed that he wouldn't mind taking the relationship into sexual territory carefully as long as it was Finch who was by his side. They hadn't done anything but still, the fact that both of them weren't opposed to intimate touches was something they were aware of.

Still a bit hesitant, Al let his hand wander until it rested on Finch's upper thigh. He could hear Finch holding his breath for a moment and looked back at him with a smug smile. Finch was also wearing a little smile but it was obvious that he was torn between not doing anything Al would later regret and keep playing the little game of doing things while Race was seemingly oblivious to it.

“Do you think we can move on to doing the homework or is there still something that's not clear to you?” Race's sudden question made Al turn his head, maybe a bit too abrupt and he hoped that Race wasn't able to see his hand that was still resting on Finch's thigh – too high to be explained with a platonic reason.

“No, I got it. I think we can move on to the task,” Albert answered honestly.

“Okay, I'm just gonna get the sheet,” Race said, facing away from the both of them to search for his homework in his bag.

Albert nearly yelped when he felt Finch's hand on his cheek, turning his head to face him again. One heartbeat later, Finch was kissing him directly on the mouth.

“Oh, there it is.” Albert cursed Race in his head for finding his sheet that quickly because the kiss ended as suddenly as it had begun so that their friend wouldn't notice anything.

Actually solving the tasks they had to do turned out to be easy on the one hand and really difficult on the other hand. While writing his answers, Al kept thinking of what to do about Finch since it was now his turn to play the game. But he couldn't come up with something, instead trying to get the homework done as quickly as possible so he could be alone with Finch.

He was tired of keeping his hand in place on Finch's thigh, so in the end he settled for putting it in Finch's hand instead. After a while, when Race and Al were discussing one of the last questions, he felt Finch starting to massage his palm and he feared that he'd never be able to stop smiling.

It seemed as if ages had passed before Race and Al finally finished their homework and Race was packing his stuff together. “Are you staying here, Finch?” Race asked, zipping up his bag.

Finch nodded, causing Race to look at him, then at Albert, then at their joined hands. “Wait a moment,” the blond started, seemingly confused, then kind of sceptic. “Are you two holding hands?”

Al was at a loss of words, not sure what to answer but Finch was just laughing. “We're not holding hands. I'm just massaging his hand.”

“A very platonic gesture, I might add,” Al chimed in, retrieving his hand back from Finch's grip. “I've read that platonic massaging was good for... you know. Your health and such. Biology. You're the expert on that, don't you know that?” The redhead knew that he was trying a bit too hard but he kind of liked what he had with Finch. Just the two of them. He didn't want to let anybody in on their relationship just yet.

Not only Finch but Race as well looked at him with a funny face. “Yeah, of course, how could I ever forget the healing power of platonic massaging,” Race eventually stated, taking his bag and standing up. “I'll find the door myself. I hope I could help you at least a little bit.”

“Definitely. Thanks for the help, I owe you something,” Albert said and the two of them hugged.

“Oh, don't mention it. It was also a good revision for myself. Bye, Finch” Race hugged Finch as well, then looked at both of them for a long moment. “Have a fun evening and don't do anything I wouldn't do.” He said with a grin, put his cigarette between his lips and left the room.

Albert only dared to breathe again when he heard the front door opening and closing. “Well, that was...”

“Interesting,” Finch finished his sentence as if he'd known exactly what Al wanted to say.

The redhead nodded. “That's one way to put it. Do you think he noticed something?”

“I'm not sure. Between your babbling about platonic massages with healing powers and me trying not to jump you – a platonic gesture, of course – I couldn't see if he was oblivious or just polite,” Finch answered with a smug smile and laughed when Al punched his shoulder lightly.

“I panicked!”, Al said. The sound of his phone distracted him for a moment and he pulled it out of his jeans, only to see that he had two messages from Race.

Al, you're my best friend and I love you to death but you're not only bad at biology but also at being subtle.

Also, you two are totally my new OTP and I'll support you no matter what. I won't say anything to anybody. Have fun!

“Told you so,” Finch said when Al read the messages out loud.

Al let out a sigh and put his head on Finch's shoulder. “Maybe learning to be subtle should be the next point on my to-do-list.”

“I thought the next point on your to-do-list was me,” Finch answered with a laugh.

“Why do I even put up with you?” Al tried to suppress a laugh and failed. Then, he put his arms around Finch, debating with himself if his boldness from before was a one-time-thing or if he might take Finch's comment seriously.

He took his time thinking and all this time Finch was right there, waiting for him, just happy being together.

High School Musical - Part 1

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: May and Tony trick convince you and Peter to try out for the musical.

Warnings: swearing (in all likelihood), May and Tony conspiring against you and Peter

A/N: I got this idea when watching HSM around 2 am in the morning (don’t judge).  Credit for GIFs go to owner.

“Come on, guys! It’ll be fun,” May encouraged. Internally, you wanted to curse Peter for forgetting his lunch but another part of you strangely wanted to agree with her. She had shown up at school to drop Pete’s lunch off and had seen posters for the musical. Now, here you and Peter were sitting in his living room being urged to sign up.

“You said that about the carnival. That wasn’t fun,” Peter spoke up. 

“Really?” From your experience, the carnival was a blast. You thought that Peter had fun too. “I though you said it was fun.”

“That was until you nearly died.” It took a while to finally realize what he was talking about. It was the acrobats.

“You’re exaggerating.” You and peter both rolled your eyes at one another. “I didn’t almost die.” 

Peter scoffed at you and crossed his arm. You wanted to laugh at how cute he looked, but you refrained from it. Peter actually thought that you almost died and you needed to convince him that you were perfectly fine.

“What if the dropped you or didn’t catch you?” Peter’s argument would have been valid if the acrobats weren’t professionals. You dad also though it was cool.  

“They knew what they were doing, Pete!” You said. Peter was about to say something back, but May interrupts him.

“That’s enough,” She says. “Peter, Y/N was in good hands.”

“Thank you,” you say. Peter obviously didn’t like that his own aunt sided with you (even though you were right), so you placed a comforting hand on his arm calming him down.

“But I still thing you two should sign up.” 

“May!” Peter whined. You guessed that he hoped that the topic was forgotten. You knew that once May got an idea in her head, there was no stopping her. If anything, May had the ability to be one of the most mischievous people you knew, especially teamed up with the right person.

“Oh, please! You two would be perfect for it.” She gushed. “You practically know the songs by heart.”

“What do you-” Peter starts, but is quickly interrupted by May again.

“Don’t act as though you two haven’t sung along to every song when you were supposed to be doing homework.” Peter tensed up before quickly looking at you.

“Did you tell her?” You couldn’t believe that Peter was accusing you of telling May that instead on doing homework, you both decided to watch High School Musical. Like you would tell anyone.

“Neither of you were very quiet about it,” May smirked. Peter sighed before sharing a look with you.

“We’ll think about it.”

After actually doing your homework this time, May dropped you off at the compound while gushing about how you and Peter would be perfect for the lead roles. Personally, you had always though yourself as more of a technical theater person than a drama kid. That technically hadn’t stopped yourself from imagining what being on stage would feel like, but it was never really your thing.

“Hey, kiddo. How was your day?” Tony Stark wasn’t your dad, but he was your legal guardian. Your parents were Shield agents who unfortunately died on a mission. You were young when it happened, so you don’t remember much about them other than stories you’d heard from the other Avengers. 

He was standing in the kitchen, probably looking for a good place to put the strawberries since Pepper was allergic. 

“It was fine,” you say, dropping your backpack next to the counter. “Peter and I tied for the highest score on the Physics test and I’m pretty sure that I am Mr. Dell’s Favorite student.”

Since you were an Avenger, you knew a lot of History. Steve sometimes told you stories of World War 2 and you also knew a lot about the Battle of Sokovia and the Sokovia Accords. You also knew a lot about the airport battle in Germany, considering you were there and all.

“So what’s this I’m hearing about a musical?” You almost dropped the cup of water you had gotten yourself after hearing that your dad knows about the musical.

“Who told you about the musical?” You had a fairly good idea who would’ve told him, but you weren’t one hundred percent sure. 

“It was your boyfriend’s attractive aunt!” somebody yells from the other room. 

“He’s not my boyfriend!” you yell back. You look at Tony waiting for an explanation even though you were sure that May had already told him all about it. “May just though that Peter and I should try out for the musical.”

‘It’s not a bad idea,” He says. 

“I don’t really want to sing in front of an audience.” You knew that the chances were that you and Peter were probably going to have to sign up. If it ever came to that, you could just audition for a part that doesn’t have very many lines.

“Oh, please!” Tony scoffs. “You and Parker practically know the songs by heart.” 

He laughs at the way you reacted to hearing him say that. Not only did those words sound way too familiar, but they likely confirmed what you were thinking.

“How would you know?” You ask, raising a hesitant eyebrow. You invited Peter over the other day to study and, again, you both ended up watching movies again. You both always got your homework in on time, so it’s not like it was always a big deal.

“It’s not like either of you were quiet about it,” Tony laughs.

“Yeah!”, the person in the other room yells again causing you to roll your eyes. 

“If you knew that Peter planned on doing it, would you?” He looked like he already knew the answer, but you didn’t want him to be too smug about it. 

“Maybe.” Obviously, you would definitely sign-up if you knew that Peter was doing it, but you knew that that would never in a million years happen, so you were good.

You kept thinking about what Tony asked you. For one thing, you felt a sense of security knowing that Peter would never sign-up for the musical, but you really wanted him to. 

“If you stare at it any harder, it might explode.” You tore your gaze away from the sign up sheet on the bulletin board next to Mr. Morita’s office to see Harley Keener smiling down at you. Today was the last day to sign up and you still didn’t know what you wanted to do.

“Harley! You almost gave me a heart attack.” Again, he surprised you by picking up the pen that was tied to the sheet. “Are you signing up?”

“Yeah.” He scribbled his name on the paper before letting go of the pen. “You should too. You and Peter practically know the songs by heart.”

“Does everybody know about that?”

“In all likelihood, yes.” He nods and stuffs his hands in his pockets as he leans against the wall. “Besides, you’re actually really good at singing.”

“That still doesn’t make me any less nervous,” you say. If anything, even if you tried out, Gwen Stacy would most likely be better than you. She had been in most of the school’s theater productions and she could sing. Unfortunately, that led to having a vision of Peter and Gwen having the lead roles. They’d be love interests! 

You shook the thought from your head, because you hated imagining Peter with anyone else but you, as said person approached you.

“Hey, Y/N,” Peter said nervously.The last time he was this nervous was before you were friends and he was asking for a pencil because he accidentally webbed his to the bottom of his backpack.

“Hey, Pete.” You noticed the way he eyed the sign-up pen as though it would burn his hand if he touched it. You didn’t exactly think that signing up was that bad. “You’re signing up?”

“Um... yeah?” he asks. 

He gently picks up the pen and neatly prints his name on the sheet. Peter looks at you nervously as Harley smirks at your dilemma.

“Fine!” you yell, causing a few heads to turn your way ans you pick up the pen and messily write your name. It was at that time that Mrs. Kramer, the Art and Drama teacher, came over to collect the sigh up sheet.

Oh! Finally!” She gushed as she looked at all the names on the sheet. “This is perfect!”

“I guess it’s too late to turn back now,” Peter says.

“I guess so.” You both watch Mrs. Kramer walk ways with the sheet. “I probably wouldn’t have signed up if you hadn’t.”

“What do you mean?” Peter looks confused as he looks at you. “May said that you told you Mr. Stark that you were going to do it.” Harley laughs as you look at Peter, equally confused as he is.

“What?” You never told Tony that you would sign up. All you said was that you might if Peter decided to-  “I think we’ve been bamboozled.”

Gold Star (Sanders Sides)

Human AU

Romantic Analogical

Background Romantic Royality

***

Virgil’s eyes flashed open. His alarm went off. The sun streamed in through his window. It’s going to be a good day today, he thought to himself as he heaved himself out of bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

He padded over to his closet and opened it, eyeing his clothes. Virgil didn’t often care about his outfit. Usually, he just wore his usual hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Nothing too loud. But today he wanted to try something new.

Virgil’s eyes glanced over to his fancy clothes. He ran his hand over his purple tie but then immediately dropped it. No, that wasn’t the look he was going for.

He eventually settled on a purple plaid shirt with a black tee underneath along with a pair of jeans. Good, he thought to himself as he looked in the mirror. Something different but not too different.

Forty five minutes later, he climbed aboard the bus and sat down next to his friend, Roman, who looked him up and down appreciatively. “I see you’ve upped your style today. What’s new?”

Virgil shrugged, a grin creeping up on his face. “Oh, nothing.”

Realization dawned on Roman’s face. His eyes widened. “You’re getting your Math test and English essay back today, aren’t you?”

Virgil nodded in delight and his heart fluttered.

“I swear, Virgil,” Roman began, “if you get a higher mark than Logan, please don’t shove it in his face and if he gets the higher mark, don’t start a fight. I’m begging of you.”

“I can’t promise anything.” Virgil said, dropping the smile and putting on an annoyed expression. “Logan just gets on my nerves so much. Who does he think he is?!” He griped.

Roman sighed and crossed his arms. “Alright but I’m not going to pull you out from a fight again.”

The bus came to a halt and some other kids boarded the bus.

“Don’t worry, Ro. That was forever ago.” When I did hate Logan, he added in silently. “Besides, he started it.” That wasn’t true but Roman didn’t know that.

Roman huffed. “I think I know what it feels like to be an exasperated mom…”

When the bus finally arrived at the high school, Virgil told Roman he’d meet him at his locker in a bit.

Virgil’s locker was right next to Logan’s. Virgil knew Logan arrived at school at promptly 7:30 and stayed in the library until five minutes before the bell where he would head to his locker to pick up his books for first period.

As Virgil neared his locker, a pair of feet caught up to him and began to match his pace. “Virgil.” Logan said with a curt nod. He had a book under his arm: The Murder of Roger Ackroyd.

Virgil’s heart fluttered. Logan was wearing his usual black-collared button up with a blue tie. Most of the other kids thought he was a bit excessive with his tie but Virgil really liked it. It suited him really well. Virgil put a disinterested look on his face along with his signature scowl. “Logan.” He was early—it was ten minutes before the bell, not five.

They both arrived at their lockers at the same time but Logan was the first to unlock it and swing his open.

Out of his peripheral view, Virgil watched as Logan carefully placed his book on the top shelf before methodically grabbing his Math textbook and binder. He put his pencil case and book on top of that.

Virgil began unpacking his bookbag which didn’t have much in it—just some random stuff like gum and his Chemistry homework. Logan took Biology.

Virgil, just slightly, wished he had chosen Biology even though he was terrible at remembering terms and parts of a cell. Just seeing Logan again for another hour would have made up for his cruddy mark in that class. Then again, if he took Bio, he would lose a lot more in their competition.

Their competition started last year when Virgil moved here. He and Logan were put in the same Math class and the teacher would give out a sticker to the top grade every test or assignment.

Roman told him that, last year, he had heard that Logan had received the gold star every single time. For the entire year.

Virgil had called the whole thing stupid when Roman explained. “What are we?” He had asked Roman with a scoff. “Kindergarteners? A gold sticker?” The whole thing had sounded absurd.

Virgil liked math. It was weird, but he found doing equations were therapeutic. That first unit, Logan had gotten the two gold stars. Virgil hadn’t minded. Again, gold stars were childish in his books.

But then the second math unit was trigonometry. And Virgil loved any type of math that had to do with shapes. And, that first assignment he had scored a 100% and gotten the gold sticker. He experienced great joy that class feeling Logan’s fiery stare boring holes into him.

Virgil had turned to Logan with triumph gleaming in his eyes. “Feeling glum there, Logan?” He had goaded. He hadn’t gotten an answer.

Virgil received the gold star on the trig test too. A 97% while Logan had gotten a 95%. He found that he enjoyed that golden star that the teacher had probably bought at a dollar store.

The next unit was algebra and Virgil was just half percent away from Logan’s 99% and gold star. Logan had looked so triumphant as he flashed the gold sticker in Virgil’s direction. He made a dramatic frown as Virgil scowled in the corner.

And so it went on like that for the rest of the year: Logan and Virgil trying to out-do each other and receive the gold star.

At one point, maybe during the quadratic unit, it had gotten so intense that Virgil almost started a physical fight with Logan after the tests came back and Logan had received the gold sticker. The teacher stopped giving them out after that.

But that didn’t stop anything. Both Logan and Virgil were far too gone to let that stop anything. While the gold sticker was no longer there, their percentage still was.

That summer, Virgil got a job at a LGBTQ+ youth camp with Roman as counsellors. And, lo and behold, Logan had gotten a job there too as a lifeguard.

That was when something changed between them. And not because Virgil often saw Logan shirtless up on that lifeguard chair or walking out of the shower.

It was nighttime when all of the campers were gone to sleep. Or, at least, they thought.

Logan and Virgil had been paired up to do one last sweep of the main campground. It was, understandably, tense until they heard a child’s whimpering off in the distance.

It was terrifying. It had been dark, the paths in the woods filled with tree roots, and the only flashlight they had had run out of batteries. So they were looking for a child in the woods using only the moonlight. Thank goodness it had been a full moon.

Once they found the child (he had gone off to pee in the woods because all of the other stalls had been filled and apparently he really had had to go. He had gotten lost once he had finished), Logan and Virgil had been inches away from each other outside of the boy’s bunkhouse. Virgil had been sure that they were about to kiss but then Patton, another counsellor, had poked his head out of the bunkhouse, asking if they were alright.

They didn’t bring that moment up again.

This year, Virgil shared two classes with Logan: Math and English. They didn’t have the gold star teacher. The competition was still there, maybe with even more vigor, but something else was behind their jabs at one another.

Virgil prayed that Logan felt it too because he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he found that Logan didn’t harbour the same feelings as he did.

He grabbed his math books and stuff and then left to go find Roman before the warning bell rang. “Good luck,” he sneered as he passed Logan.

“You’re going to need it,” Logan retorted, not even glancing up at Virgil.

“Please tell me you’re feeling calm,” Roman said as he saw Virgil.

Virgil took in a dramatic breath and breathed out loudly. “I’m fine.” He said with a roll of his eyes. “So, how was last night?” He asked, changing the subject. Patton and Roman had gotten together recently. They had met at camp last summer but that was when their friendship was formed. Their romantic relationship had started just a couple of days ago.

Roman didn’t seem to notice the subject change. “Oh, it was amazing. To be honest,” he said in a whisper, grinning, his face flushed pink, “I could hardly concentrate on the movie…we were holding hands and his laugh whenever there was a joke was just so cute. I can’t wait until you get a boyfriend and then we can all go on double dates!”

Virgil thought about Logan and just smiled. “That would be so fun.”

***

When Virgil made his way into Math after the bell rang, Logan was already sitting in his assigned seat. Virgil found his own, across from Logan and against the wall.

Logan didn’t even acknowledge Virgil as he sat down, just kept reading his book. Every so often he would push up his glasses when they slipped too far down his nose.

As soon the teacher walked in the two of them immediately straightened up and Logan put away his book with a bookmark filled with old gold stars. Probably just to spite Virgil.

But that was okay. Virgil had his phone case decorated with his gold stars.

When the last student trickled in and the bell rang again the teacher began passing back the tests they had done last week.

It hadn’t been a difficult test but it hadn't been necessarily easy either. The only thing Virgil was worried about was that last word problem where he wasn’t sure if he had plugged in the numbers right.

Logan’s test was passed back first. Virgil stretched his neck and straightened his spine even more. 99%. Logan grinned over at Virgil, his eyes twinkling. ‘Beat that,’ he mouthed.

Virgil pursed his lips. He had to get a 100 if he was going to win. Then again, he still had the English essay later on in the day so even if he didn’t get a 100% he might beat Logan with the essay.

The teacher walked over to Virgil and he held his breath as she placed the test on his desk. 100%. Yes.

He didn’t even bother waiting for Logan to crane his neck at an awkward angle. He pulled up the side of his test with the mark on it and gave him the middle finger with his free hand. Virgil grinned over at him.

Logan scowled.

“Got a little overconfident there, didn’t you Logan?” Virgil said, rubbing it in. His cheeks hurt from so much grinning.

Calm settled on Logan’s face. He pushed up his glasses, crossed his arms, and leaned back in his chair. “We still got one more today, Virgil. Don’t get too cocky. I do write a sublime essay.”

Virgil chuckled. “We’ll see about that.”

***

Their research essays counted for quite a bit of their English mark. It could be on anything they wanted but they had to take a side. Of course, it had to be appropriate for school. They had started preparing for it almost a month ago and now it was the moment of truth.

Virgil had decided to write his research essay on how cellphones have a positive impact on youths (maybe not always positive but they weren’t 100% bad). Logan must have seen Virgil’s topic somehow although he couldn’t figure out how because Logan’s topic was on how cellphones have a negative impact on youths.

Virgil wasn’t even sure that Logan believed that.

Their English teacher was known to be a hard marker so, when Virgil got his essay back and saw the 85 he mentally fistbumped the air. He was going to win this. He lifted his paper so Logan could see his mark behind him.

When the teacher gave back Logan’s essay Virgil spun in his chair and snapped his head down to look at Logan’s mark: 89. Logan smiled triumphantly up at Virgil. “Look who’s overconfident now.”

“Draw,” Virgil sniffed. He had won Math, Logan English. It would have been nice to win both but one was better than none.

Logan smiled as he put his test in his binder smugly. “Sure.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and turned back around to face the front.

***

When the last bell rang Virgil saw Logan already at his locker, piling in books into his blue bookbag.

Virgil pursed his lips as he neared his locker and Logan. He opened his locker and began packing his backpack as well. “Hey,” he finally said, swallowing his pride. “Can I read your essay?”

Logan glanced up at him with slightly narrowed eyes. Suspicious eyes. “Why?”

Virgil shrugged. “I just want to see what arguments you used. Do you even believe that cellphones have a negative effect on youths or did you just choose that because I was doing the opposite?”

Logan grinned but didn’t say anything. He just grabbed his essay and handed it over to him.

“Well?” Virgil prompted. He wanted to know how Logan figured out his topic. It wasn’t like they shared their topics before writing them.

“Oh, I’m pretty neutral on the debate on cell phones. I could have gone either way, to be honest. But I overheard you talking to Roman about your topic outside of the library and,” he shrugged and gave a toothy smile that made Virgil remember that night at camp, “I just thought it would be fun to do the opposite argument that you were doing.”

Virgil had no recollection of speaking to Roman about his topic but it sounded about right. But then a memory resurfaced and he scrunched up his nose. “Hey, no. I told Roman about my topic when we stayed behind to help Ms. Morrison organize her textbooks to get volunteer hours!”

Logan flushed a deep pink and Virgil’s stomach did a little flip.

“I don’t think so,” Logan said quickly, shaking his head. “I’m pretty sure I was in the library.”

But the memory was becoming clearer now. Virgil’s eyes widened in realization. “You were spying on us!” He breathed.

“No—”

“—Yes,” Virgil cut Logan off, nodding his head vigorously. “Or you overheard us…whatever. No difference.”

The crowds around the hallway were beginning to thin out. Logan sighed. “Okay, fine. I was just running back into school because I forgot my book and I overheard you in Ms. Morrison’s class.” His face was still pink as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Virgil grinned as he shut his locker. “Okay.”

“It’s true!” Logan exclaimed hotly, closing his own locker and swinging his backpack onto his back.

Virgil began to walk to the bus line. Roman was probably wondering where he was.

He knew Logan walked home so he was surprised to hear his footsteps trailing behind him. “Hey, listen. I got something for you.” Virgil was so used to their witty banter that he was caught off guard when he heard how genuine Logan’s voice was.

Virgil spun around in surprise and waited for Logan to catch up. “What? Really?” He raised his eyebrows.

“It’s-it’s nothing really,” Logan fumbled, digging around in his jean pocket. “It’s just a little trinket I saw at the store and thought…” he shrugged and pulled out a gold star keychain.

For a long moment, Virgil stared at it. “But I tallied it up last week, overall you’ve won!” He had gone through all of his old tests and assignments, curious to see who was in the lead. Logan had been ahead by two tests. “I mean,” Virgil amended, “thank you, but why?” Why would Logan give him a gold star keychain if he wasn’t winning?

Logan ran a nervous hand through his hair. “Because I think you’re intelligent.” He pushed up his glasses and coughed awkwardly. “And I really like you.”

Virgil froze but then hesitantly took the keychain from Logan’s hand. He looked at it closely before carefully clasping it onto his bookbag. “Truce?” He asked, holding out his hand.

Logan smiled and took Virgil’s hand. “Truce,” he repeated. He cocked his head to the side. “So does this mean you like me too?”

Virgil grinned. “What do you think?” He laughed and intertwined his fingers with Logan’s. By now, the entire hallway was empty and Virgil was sure that the busses had already left.

They walked down the hall hand in hand.

Survey #321

i’m exploring the deepest recesses of tumblr to unearth super old surveys, so you can expect an onslaught of ‘em.

When someone is tailgating you, do you drive faster or slower? I drive the same speed, even though it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. What place outside of your own home do you spend the most time at? My sister's place. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Do most of your relatives live in the same state/province as you? No; only my parents and immediate sisters live here. Have you ever participated in a medical study? No. Is there a food you hate that everyone else seems to like? Especially where I live, fried chicken. It's disgusting. Have you ever had to evacuate from a natural disaster? No. Do you have any family members who are cancer survivors? Numerous, actually. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have a driver's license, never mind anything else. What job does you significant other have? I’m single. When you were in elementary school, what was a typical afternoon like once you got home from school? I did my homework right away; well, after having a snack. After that, I was most likely on the computer playing Neopets or Webkinz, or something on the PlayStation. Is your favorite movie part of a series? Yes. Have you ever played in a water puddle? Sure, as a kid. I loved that. Have you ever played in a mud puddle? I don't think so. Have you ever kissed someone (outside) in the rain? Yes. He did it purely to be romantic, lol. Have you ever lost control of your car in the rain? No, thank fuck. Have you ever had to attend summer school? No. Have you ever experienced a summer where the temperature exceeded 120'F/49'C? Yikes, no, not that high. The highest we usually get is below 110. Do you live in a hot or cold (normally) climate? Hot. It sucks. Has your community ever had a “smog alert”? No. Have you ever raked leaves, and then played in them? Oh, absolutely as a kid. Dad would rake a pile just for us kids. Have they ever cancelled school because it was too hot? At least once, yes. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. Have you ever experienced “cat’s breath”, where the wind was so powerful it took your breath away, literally? Yep, especially when I visited Sara and we went on a walk. It was fucking outrageous. Safe to say I didn't last long on that walk. Has your/or have you been in a car that was stuck in a snowstorm? No. What does your MySpace profile look like? I haven't seen it since that site was still "a thing." I do remember, however, that it was COVERED in meerkats, haha. Pictures, facts, etc. And my page song was "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Beddingfield lmao. Do you like living in the country or city better? Country, 100%. I'm not a city gal by any means. Do you have a big backyard? No, it's very small. Not used to that at all. What is your favorite Adam Sandler movie? I don't know, he's in too many to choose lmao. What was the last thing that surprised you? Apparently a rocket crashed today after launch. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? No. I... didn't even know those existed lmao I feel dumb. Who was the last person that said something that warmed your heart? I'm not sure, but I'm quite certain my niece or nephew would be involved there, haha. What is your favorite park? I don't have one. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Do you believe anyone is asexual? ???????????? Yes???????????? Were you abused? No. Have you ever missed a deadline? Yeah. Can you tell Mary-Kate and Ashley apart in pictures? I haven't seen them in an eternity, idk. Describe your fondest memory: I don't really want to... but I'll entertain the question. It's hard to choose, and they just about all include Jason. I think what I hold closest though was our dance to "Stairway to Heaven" after prom in the headlights of his car in my front yard. It's something that physically hurts to remember. What song makes you cry every time you hear it? Let's set aside my "trigger songs" for this. "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade does it very easily. How often do you break your promises? I almost never do. I don't bullshit around with promises. I've only ever broken ones I'd forgotten I'd made, if my memory serves me right. How long do you take in the shower, on average? Not even 10 minutes. Do you have your MySpace/Facebook profile set to a "friends only" setting? Yes. Did your last kiss mean anything? Why or why not? Of course it did. I care very, very deeply for her. Are your summers usually boring and relaxing, or busy and interesting? "Summers are hot and miserable." <<<< mood Tell me a crazy thing you did as a child. I don't really think I did anything "crazy" as a child, just weird. Like pretending to be a father penguin arranging rocks to mock a nest. I was fuckin weird. How many best friends do you have? One. When you’re upset, who do you wanna talk to the most? Either Sara, Mom, or nobody. Opinion on Daughtry? They're nice. "No Surprise" is positively beautiful. Do you like country music? Noooooo. What’s been the most awkward situation you've been in? Okay, possible TMI. Basically, Jason's parents arrived home way, way earlier than they were supposed to and my panicky ass couldn't find my clothes quickly, and when I finally did, I had to dress as quickly as possible in his tiny-ass closet while he distracted his mom and dad lmfao. I'ma just say it was a very close call to me melting into a mortified puddle. I look back on it and laugh now, but the absolute, throbbing fear I felt was NOT funny back then lmfao. Don’t you love that feeling when you look at someone and you just melt? <3 That is genuinely one of the best feelings in the entire world. Do you prefer male or female singers? I have no preference. So what are you planning for this summer? Nothing, really... Who knows where the Covid situation will be then. What’s a good book? In general for absolutely anyone, Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It is a book about pacifism that is so very deep and emotional. For women, I highly recommend The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. As a woman myself, the concept of the book is terrifying, to be reduced to reproduction machines without rights, so it's something you can really feel as a female. It's a book that definitely makes you want to fight for women's rights. Is it awkward for you when your parents talk to you about boys etc… No. I'm a grown woman. Now if she asked about my sex life (if I had one), I'd feel a bit weird, but not very. Do you like it when guys play with your hair? Yeah. Ever cried when you had to say goodbye to someone? Well of course. Over multiple people. Have your parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Have you ever dreamt of someone you barely know? Indeed. Do you have a blood donor’s card? Yep. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? I had to before surgery. Has anyone seen you naked in the last week? No. What kind of doctor did you go to the last time you went? It was via phone, but I talked with my psychiatrist a few days ago. Does your ex still think about you? I'm sure Sara and Girt do, as they're my good friends, but idk if either think of me romantically. I would hope Jason at least remembers me with some degree of care in his heart... As for Juan, Aaron, and Tyler, idk if they do and I don't really care. What has been bothering you a lot lately? My weight. Are you trustworthy? I think so, yes. Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? Yeah, but it definitely depends on the situation. Which literary character would you dress up as, if you had to choose one? Speaking of The Handmaid's Tale, for Halloween one year, I really, really want to take some cool photos of me dressed as a handmaid with a (obviously fake) blood splatter over my stomach. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? Being born with the mom I have, probably. I have no idea. None. Of where I'd be without her. Do you miss college? Sigh, sometimes... but I'm not going back. No chance. Dropping out three times due to my mental state hints at a clear pattern. Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? Yeah, accidentally. Except with my physical science teacher in HS that eventually became my "other mom" and most recently our landlord, even. I call her "Mama" sometimes. What was the name of your first imaginary friend? It was a wolf whose name I don't remember. What color was your nursery when you were a baby? No clue. What is your favorite arcade game? I desperately wanna go to a location that has Silent Hill: The Arcade. :/ That's on my bucket list. It's very rare. Are you allergic to grass? No. Do you remember to water plants? I don’t have any plants to water. What is your favorite fall drink? I don't drink any "fall" drinks. Favorite winter drink? Hot chocolate! Favorite spring drink? There are "spring" drinks? Favorite summer drink? Gimme a nice, cold margarita. Name three creative people you know. Sara, Tez, and Mini are some of the most creative people I've ever written with. Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. Mark in like a million different ways, I look up greatly to Jeffree Star's work ethic (say what you will about him personally, but holy shit does mama WORK), and Emzotic for her incredible growth after trauma that's left her more confident than ever, and she's amazing with animals and just a darling overall. Does anyone know who your current crush is? Yeah, I'm pretty open about it. Have you ever been scammed? Not successfully, no. Which song describes your life? I relate to "Get Up" by Mother Mother a lot at this point in my life. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? Probably because I open up so slowly/am very secretive of myself when someone might be trying to get close. People have also criticized my laziness. Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? YouTube. At least I think Tez was the last person I gave my number to. Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? Hunter, my neighbor growing up. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? My therapist. I had to leave group due to severe abdominal cramping. It was just my period, but he just wanted to check. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? Probably a soda back when I was still in school. Has anyone given you butterflies recently? Actually yeah; I had a memory of Sara that caused 'em to revisit me. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? I'm going to exclude my puppy-dog crush (Dylan) and talk about my first "real" crush, Sebastian. I liked him because we had very similar interests, he was really friendly, nice, and funny, and he clearly trusted me a lot because he actually confided in me regarding the relationship he was in that was struggling and causing him a lot of pain. I thought he was attractive, too. Ngl, I wonder sometimes where we could have gone if he hadn't been dating the girl, because I'm 90% sure he was into me, too. In current times, he very recently got engaged! Super happy for him. Which parent do you identify with the most? My ma. What do you think you cook or bake the best? Scrambled eggs, I guess. That's just about all I CAN make, haha. My family likes 'em. I always use American cheese, salt, pepper, and a bit of hot sauce. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Admitting I RP. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Of actually important things, gay rights. If we're talkin' passionate about anything, then the answer's meerkats, duh. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why? A rival photographer that lives here. I absolutely hate admitting that, but yeah, I'm extremely envious of her. She gets way more traffic than I do by a long shot, even though I, from a completely modest and honest standpoint, genuinely think I do better work than her. It's just frustrating. All about who you know in this business. How old is the most expired item in your fridge? Supposedly our milk expired on the 1st, but it smells just fine? And mind you, I am very cautious with expiration dates, and I've found milk typically starts to smell bad a few days earlier than the date to me. This jug is an outlier. What are your favorite style of underwear? I'm a fat old lady that likes high-waisted underwear. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? Maybe "The Ballad of Dwight Fry" by Alice Cooper. I could name tons, though. How about the sweetest song? Maybe "Easy to Love You" by Theory of a Deadman. Another song I struggle to listen to because it was one of mine and Jason's "songs." Do you know how to play dominoes? No. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your heart and time right now? Not in the least. Why or why not? I'm just wasting time. Doing nothing with true meaning, and I seem unable to get over this low point I'm in. How many bones have you broken? One. Well, I was told "fractured," but apparently that's the same thing as broken? Have you ever won anything? Big or small? Yeah, multiple things. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Animals like cats or dogs. Pets, basically. I would feel WAY too weird. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before? Yes. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? If I'm embarrassed by it, why would I share it with whoever reads these? What is the most important memory you have and why? When I decided it was truly time to move on from Jason. Why that's my most important is obvious: it changed my mindset and life in general. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? God, I hope Jason read my apology email I last sent him. I finally accepted I did wrong, too, and I want to know that he knows that. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My youngest niece's first birthday was mid-February. What’s a musical instrument you think sounds really beautiful? The violin. Do you play that instrument? I wish I could. Do you have a favorite type of pasta? (like a shape of noodles, not dish) Just spaghetti noodles, ig. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Who sent the last e-mail you got? My PHP therapist sent me the Zoom link to our group session. Do you have a favorite shape? Out of basic ones, circles. What’s the last song you bought/downloaded? I don't recall. Probably something by 3TEETH. Have you ever been on a trapeze? Hell nah. Do you buy chocolate after Valentine’s Day when it goes on sale? No. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? I met a poet at the psych hospital once. I also have an old friend who had something published in a magazine, I think. Do you own a polaroid camera? No, but I'd love to to take more ~aesthetic~ photographs sometimes. What is something you think is underrated? Snakes! :( They're not scary or gross, nor do they in any way deserve to be killed. I wish the worth of snakes was seen much more clearly. They are spectacular, intriguing animals. Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? Once it hits like 65*F, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? I hope beyond hope that I have a job I enjoy. And that I'm driving again. What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? I used to loooove video editing, but I've lost all motivation for it. Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? Somewhere we have this one stretchy thing that I have no idea what it's called, then there are two sets of small weights somewhere. Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? New York. Farthest south? Florida. East? Well, ya can't go more east in NC unless you want to drive into the ocean... lol. West? Illinois. If you have/want children, will you raise them similar to the way you were raised? If I had kids, I would in some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? Nothing strange, no. What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? I don't know. Not very high. Do you have an ebook reader? (iPad, Kindle, etc.) No. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? 2017, ig. What is the last random act of kindness you did? I guess you could consider a loving text to Sara a random act of kindness?

major tw sorry. this is pretty graphic and long. please like if you read.

chris had it all planned out the moment he started talking to me. i was eleven. it was after school, i was trying to walk home and these kids from my class kept fucking trying to follow me and rile me up because it was apparently funny watching an obviously mentally ill child have a breakdown. and chris just. appears out of nowhere and tells the kids to fuck off and they leave and i INSTANTLY want to be his friend because HOLY SHIT someone actually defended me and i was just so desperate for company and honestly at the time i was already planning to kill myself. and i just. i just tell him everything. that same day, the same day i met this complete stranger, i just start spilling my life story. my dad's an asshole and beats me, my brothers think my pain is funny, no one likes me at school and thinks i'm weird, my mom's fucking dead, i live in a moldy delapidated house with little food because my family is fucking poor, i hate church and i hate school and homework and i just want to get away from my stupid town or die. etc etc etc. and he listens and says he's gonna protect me and stupid fucking me believed him. i set myself up, i don't even know if he knew about all this prior because i thought maybe he stalked me but no i told him everything about my shitty life and he used it for his advantage.

two years later he says i'm old enough to date him. but honestly prior to that it had been maybe a month of me knowing him and he was hugging me a bit too long, smelling my hair and clothes, touching me in suggestive ways, calling me baby names and other nicknames, always talking about how hot i was and how he couldn't wait until i was older and he could fuck me. but what the fuck did i do? absolutely nothing. because i grew up in a sheltered mormon home and didn't know jack shit about sex or love or anything. i just loved the attention he gave me because fuck at least it was "positive" and i felt like such a rebel when he would buy me things i wasn't supposed to have like alcohol and cigarettes and any illegal street drug you can think of. he very easily manipulated me and i fell so fucking hard for it because i have shit for brains. anyway the literal day i turned 13 he basically pushes on me that we're dating now and i was just like "lol haha okay! whatever you say! please don't leave me!" and after school he took me to his "parent's house" while they were "on vacation" because he was very obviously 16 and definitely not lying about it. then he took me to his bedroom, told me we'd play some video games for a while, gave me some alcohol and i got drunk as shit. he kept saying some nonsense about like... how i looked really warm from the booze and i should take my clothes off to be more comfortable. i don't remember it that well. i think i did it really half-assed and he ended up taking my clothes off for me and then he started cuddling with me and touching my dick and i kept trying to push him away but i was too fucking drunk to really do anything and i just. i just kept saying stop. stop please. please please please. and he kept going until he turned me over, pushed my face into the mattress and penetrated me. it hurt so fucking bad and i tried screaming but nothing came out. i started crying and he told me that everything was okay. it was supposed to hurt. i was supposed to be scared. and i still believed him even though every part of me found it hard to believe. i black out from the alcohol and the fear. the next day i'm awake in his bed, covered in his cum, trying to process what the fuck just happened and i'm freaking out but i don't know why because chris loves me and said it was okay so why do i feel like this. why. he made me breakfast and i throw it up when i get to my dad's and he screams at me for being sick and missing school and he asks me where i was and i don't say anything and he beats me. so i go back to chris's house that night to get away and this time chris has heroin for me instead of booze and he rapes me after i shoot up and start nodding off. i find out chris is 19 after looking in his wallet for spare money while he's asleep after getting off. i go back to my dad's house because i'm uncomfortable and i get beat by my dad again. and then i go back to chris's and get raped again. back to my dad's and get beat again. back to chris's and get raped again. the cycle repeats again and again and again. until i'm 16 and my brothers snitch to my dad that i like men and i have a boyfriend and my dad beats the shit out of me, raids my room while my brothers hold me down and force me to watch as he finds candid photos chris took of me nude and getting violated by him as well as all the heroin and other drugs and paraphernalia i had stashed and hidden in my room. he beats the shit out of me AGAIN and starts throwing all of my shit out of my bedroom window and when i run out to grab it all he locks the door behind me and doesn't let me back in. so i go back to chris's house and beg him to let me live with him and he obviously agrees.

so then i get raped for even more months but at this point i'm just conditioned to accept it no matter how much i hate it. then chris starts yelling at me for trivial things. then he threatens me. then he starts hitting me. then he locks me in the moldy spare bedroom with only a dirty old mattress in it whenever we disagree over shit and starves me for days. at this point i'm very deep in my heroin addiction, so he forces me into withdrawal whenever i'm locked up and i am in so much physical anguish. he only comes in to give me my fix and rape me. sometimes he only rapes me and i feel and remember everything so i actually scream during these times and he shoves his fingers in my mouth to shut me up and if i bite down he slaps me. this goes on for two fucking years. but i stay because i need the drugs and i need the love and attention and he really does love me he's just going through a phase he'll apologize and see what he's doing eventually i still see glimpses of it sometimes when he lets me out of the room and cuddles and kisses me and calls me his cute little boy. but then as i approach my 18th birthday i find out he's molesting another 13 year old. i dont do anything. when i'm 18 he tells me he's had enough of my shit and kicks me out. i beg and plead for him to let me stay. i promise him i'll do anything for him i'll let him rape me nonstop all day or murder me if that's what he wants to do. i tell him i love him so much we're meant to be together i want to marry him i want to spend the rest of my life with him and get high all day with him. he tells me he doesn't care. i'm useless to him now because i'm an adult. i'm a pathetic junkie and i was just an experiment because he had a fetish he really wanted to test out and i seemed like a good target. he's already found another child to lust over and torture the same way he did to me.

this post is long and i basically spilled my life story but i dont care i don't anymore i'm going to kill myself. i quit heroin but i regret it so fucking bad EVEN THOUGH IT REMINDS ME OF HIM ITS THE DRUG HE USED TO HURT ME AND TORTURE ME FOR YEARS AND YEARS I WAS TORTURED INA DIRTY ROOM FOR YEARS USED AS HIS CUM RAG. i can't get over it. i abused heroin because i was in so much pain. i didn't want to handle it all it was just too much. i need it again because the memories just keep coming back every time i lay down and close my eyes. i want it to go away i want the pain gone it hurts. it hurts all the time. i hurt everywhere all the time and i can't process it. why. why did he and my dad leave me so broken like this. wouldn't it have been less effort to just kill me? it would hurt me less, actually. it would have been more humane. i wouldn't have to suffer the memories, the nightmares, the panic attacks, the learned behaviors, the harmful coping mechanisms and self-medication, the mental anguish that manifests as intense physical pain, the nonstop crying and bouts of rage that make everyone around me fear me. i can't be normal anymore. i'm just like this now and i never wanted it and i can't be a useful contribution to society. the last actual job i had i lost because a coworker made a rape joke and i beat him over it. i'm some fucking animal i'm not human anymore. i don't want to be this.

so it's either go back to heroin again and possibly lose ethan over it or kill myself and i guess suffer the consequence of death and hurt ethan. those are the options because i can't do this shit anymore, sorry.

The Doctor Is In

(5 times Stephen took care of Tony and Peter and 1 time they took care of him)

Stephen fled from the Tower the moment heavy metal music echoed through the surrounding floors of the lab. It wasn't that he hated the music, it was the fact that he knew exactly what it meant.

Tony and Peter were blowing things up.

He could meditate through a majority of things that went on in the Tower. Like if Clint and Sam took over their living room to play video games, Peter crawling all over the ceiling, Tony  cursing at something he's tinkering with on the coffee table...or Clint crawling through the air vents. Their floor was constantly taken over by the other Avengers, and he had grown used to it, but explosions from the lab was another thing entirely. It was random and had different levels of noise that startled Stephen's astral form back into his body and left him momentarily confused and disoriented. Not a fun feeling.

Stephen sighs when Wong drops a stack of books on the table in front of him and he opens a single eye. "Do you mind?"

Wong ignores him as he sits down. "AC/DC?"

The sorcerer supreme stretches out in his chair. "Metallica."

"Wouldn't blasting music hurt Peter's ears?"

"He's used to it. He's usually the one controlling the volume anyway." Stephen slumps in his chair.

"How's motherhood treating you?" Wong grins.

Strange groans. "Not you too. How did you know?"

"Tony calls you Mama Bear almost all the time. It was obvious." Wong flips through one of the books. "...and I heard Peter call you Mom."

"That boy will be the death of me."

"I thought I saw some more grey hair."

He wouldn't be surprised. Both Peter and Tony had very little consideration for self-preservation to the point that...well...they were blowing things up in the lab. He could confidently bet the Eye of Agamotto that he would go home to at least one of them in need of first aid. Bruce only helped them in emergencies for how often they got themselves into trouble. He was tired of fishing glass out of broken skin because of a stupid idea.

"I'm tempted to cover them in bubble wrap so I can have a minute of peace without having to worry about what trouble they're getting into."

"Your domesticity is nauseating."

Stephen smirks. "You're just jealous."

"Hardly."

Stephen's phone starts ringing and he looks at the screen, sighs, and answers.

"Yes Spiderling?"

"Holy crap! Where are you?! Dad got knocked out by the fire extinguisher--"

Stephen coughs to hide his laugh. He was definitely going to watch today's recording of the lab to see how that happened. "I'll be there shortly."

He hangs up before Peter can utter another word and glances at Wong.

"What's the damage this time?"

Stephen grins. "Technical knockout by a fire extinguisher."

Wong laughs.

_______________________

"Peter I swear--" A Lego smacks painlessly against Stephen's forehead. "Did you just throw a Lego at me?!"

The teen flattens himself against the ceiling. "That was my venom! I'm a spider!"

The Vishanti are testing me.

Peter had just recently gotten all of his wisdom teeth pulled and was on very strong pain killers. Something Stephen prayed he would never have to give the boy again because he was a menace. Peter refused to stay in bed and had taken to the ceiling instead, leaving Stephen no choice but to follow him and try to coax him down. He hoped to whatever entity that was listening that the boy wouldn't fall and hurt himself.

The first thing he tried was Levi but Peter stubbornly clung to the ceiling so he had to wave the cloak off from that attempt. Bribing him with ice cream was a dead end as well.

"Spiderling, you don't spit venom." Then another idea came to mind and Stephen didn't know why he didn't think if it before. "How does a movie night with cuddles sound?"

Peter looks at the sorcerer and seems to think over his offer. "'Kay."

Peter was a sucker for physical contact no matter how high he was.

Stephen sighs with relief when the teen moves down from the ceiling and immediately clings to the older man's front like a baby. The sorcerer wraps his arms around Peter to hold him steady, and makes his way back to the boy's bedroom where he gently deposits his burden. He murmurs to the boy to stay while he leaves to change into something more comfortable, and thankfully returns to Peter's room a couple minutes later to find the boy curled up under his blankets.

"Where's Dad?"

"At an Accords meeting. He'll be back by dinner." Strange slips into bed next to Peter and the teen wastes no time in curling up against him. "What do you want to watch Spider-Baby?"

"Disney movie."

Stephen has Karen (Tony connected Peter's AI to his bedroom) start a Disney movie, and gently strokes brown curls. It didn't take long for Peter to pass out between the ministrations and snuggling. One would think the boy was touch starved.

_____________

The tower was calm. Peter was at school and Tony was at a meeting, so Stephen felt he could relax. He really should have known better. As soon as he stretched out on the couch with an actual book not related to the mystic artes, Tony strode out of the elevator with blood streaming down his temple. The sorcerer sighs when his boyfriend flops onto the couch when he sits up, and he retrieves the first aid kit and some ice through a couple of small portals.

"I'd ask how your meeting went but that would be pointless."

Tony hisses when Stephen applies some antiseptic. "The meeting was fine. The private meeting Ross wanted...not so much."

"Just say the word and I can have him free-falling for a couple of hours."

"That would be counter productive since I'm trying to keep you and Peter out of the Accords. You're both special cases."

The doctor finishes by applying a butterfly bandage and then hands Tony the ice. The engineer did have legitimate reasons for keeping Stephen and Peter away. Stephen was the Sorcerer Supreme, and had a responsibility to protect the world from magical attacks. Peter was simply underage.

"Head feeling better?" Stephen asks softly.

Tony nods and grimaces as he places the ice pack on his head. "I think I'll live."

Scott slips into the living room and sits in an armchair sipping at a juice pouch. "Hey Strange, your Mama Bear is showing."

"That better not be Peter's Capri Sun."

"Case and point." He grins and loudly sucks every last drop.

"Quit raiding my fridge Lang." Tony snarks.

"Quit buying all the good stuff." Scott kicks his legs up onto the coffee table and turns on the t.v.

Stephen simply laid out on the couch again with his legs across Tony's lap and read while the other two watched reruns of Friends. He would take the quiet while he could. It was a rare occurrence.

____________________

"Doctor Strange, you have an incoming call from Peter." Victor calls from his bracelet.

Stephen sighs and puts his tea down to pull his phone out of his pocket. He was at school so either he had gotten into trouble (Not likely unless it was an attack an earth kind) or he wasn't feeling well. Something still unlikely because of the spider bite.

"What's wrong Spiderling?" The sorcerer asks when he accepts the call.

"Uh...Doctor Strange?" That was not Peter. In fact it sounded like...

"Ned? Where's Peter?"

"We're in the boy's bathroom on the second floor. I think Peter is going through a sensory overload."

Shit. That was the one thing that Peter truly hated. "Alright. I'll be there in just a minute."

Stephen hangs up, uses his magic to change into his street clothes, and then opens a portal to just around the corner to the school. With long strides, he shoves his way through pedestrians and into the school and makes a quick stop in the office.

"I'm here to pick up Peter Parker." The secretary looks up, blushes, and reaches for the intercom phone until Stephen reaches out and stops her. "Please don't. He's not feeling well and the intercom will only make things worse. I know where he is if I may go get him myself."

The woman quickly gathers herself. "Of course sir. I just need your name and have you sign him out."

When he relayed his name to her, she looked at him with a mixture of confusion and skepticism, but thankfully cleared him to retrieve Peter. She was probably wondering where his robes were since he was dressed like any other person.

Stephen rushes out of the office and up the stairs and to his relief finds the bathrooms fairly quickly. He wrinkles his nose in disgust as he walks in but says nothing when he spots Peter curled in the corner with his hands over his ears. Ned looks up and relief crosses his features as he promptly moves away from his best friend and the doctor takes his place and gently pulls Peter's hands down.

"I'll get you home in just a second Spiderling." Strange looks up at Ned and accepts Peter's backpack from him. "Thank you for calling me."

Ned nods. "I can call him later and tell him what his homework is."

"I'm sure he would appreciate that."

He then turns and opens a portal, the sound of the sparks drawing a whimper from the suffering teen beside him, and Stephen ignores his breaking heart as he helps Peter through. He closes the portal and leads the teen to his bed where Peter quickly sheds everything but his boxers to, Stephen assumed, get rid of his itchy clothing.

"Karen, Overload Protocol please."

In an instant, the window is covered, the lights are dimmed, and Peter finally relaxes when the room is soundproof and nearly dark. Stephen gently lays the covers over his son and Peter cracks open an eye in response.

"Mom?" Peter croaks out.

"Just relax Spider-Baby."

Peter nods and rolls onto his side before settling against his pillow.

_____________________

An explosion startles both Stephen and Happy from their naps on their respective couches, and both jump to their feet before rushing down to the lab. The sorcerer punches in the code to open the lab door and he looks around the trashed and smoking lab for Peter and Tony, faintly registering that DUM-E was successfully taking care of any fires. He soons spots the engineer slumped against the wall and he rushes over before kneeling down to examine him and tend to his injuries.

"I've got Peter!" The bodyguard yells from the other side of the room. "He looks fine. Just knocked out!"

Stephen exhales when he finds Tony in the same condition. "Tony is the same. It must have been a repulsor explosion."

Tony groans and slowly opens his eyes. "Peter..."

"He's alright. What happened?"

The billionaire stands with the doctor's help and rubs the back of his head. "One of my gauntlets short-circuited."

Happy approaches them with a smirk. "The kid just woke up and he's talking a mile a minute. I'm pretty sure he's fine. I'm going back upstairs to finish my nap."

Tony rolls his eyes as Happy leaves the lab and both parents walk over to Peter to find him patting DUM-E.

"Good job putting out the fire buddy. Now Dad won't have to donate you to a community college." The robot trills at the praise.

"Now FRIDAY is risking reprogramming." Tony says irritably.

"I tried to warn you Boss but you didn't listen." Could AI be annoyed? FRIDAY definitely sounded annoyed.

"That sounds like something you would do." Stephen drawls and Tony throws his arms up.

"Traitors! I'm scrapping FRIDAY and breaking up with you!"

Peter looks up at Tony's declaration and watches the couple in alarm, but Stephen simply smiles and the teen relaxes and turns his attention back to DUM-E. The poor kid really feared that his family was going to fall apart over something trivial and it hurt Stephen. It really showed how much Peter loved them.

"You won't have anyone to kiss your boo-boos then."

Tony stares at Stephen until he barks out a laugh that turns into something hysterical. "That's true. Brucie isn't the type." He finally wheezes out.

Stephen then decided to take it a step further. "Besides, if we break up, I'm taking Peter."

The boy himself pouts. "Don't drag me into your marital problems."

"Okay, first of all kid, we have to be married to have marital problems. Second, Stephanie, he was my kid first."

"You guys might as well get married. You already act like an old married couple." Peter grumbles and the older two glance at each other.

"...and there's the headache I get from dealing with you two." Stephen says and rubs his temples.

_____________________

+1

Stephen groggily opens his eyes when a cool hand finds itself on his forehead and he purrs when he finds Tony leaning over him. Something he would completely deny later because he wasn't even aware he could even make that noise.

"Feeling under the weather Mama Bear?"

"I'm fine."

"I'll believe that when you stop trying to hack up a lung while you're sleeping."

The sorcerer bats Tony's hand away and sits up, only for his boyfriend's hand to settle on his chest to stop him from getting up. It was weird for him to be fussed over and he also wasn't about to let a cold keep him from the research he needed to do.

"If you put one foot on the floor I am going to sic Peter on you."

That actually got Stephen's attention. Tony had gotten sick a few weeks back and when Peter got wind of it, he hovered. The teen took it upon himself to make sure that the engineer took some medicine, fed him, and even checked in on him to make sure he was resting. Stephen found it hilarious and let the boy help take care of Tony as long as he didn't disturb him.

To be on the receiving end of that though? That was a scary thought. He was the doctor in the family. He was supposed to worry about them, no matter how many headaches that might cause, not the other way around.

So he laid back down.

"That's what I thought. The only acceptable reason for you to get out of bed is for the bathroom."

"Asshole."

"I love you too Mama Bear. Now let us take care of you." Tony kisses his forehead. "I'll send Peter in with some water and pills."

Stephen glares up at him. "You're going to let him hover anyway?"

Tony frowns. "He already knows you're sick. He promised not to hover."

"...fine."

After Tony left the bedroom, Stephen expected Peter to stumble in a couple minutes later.

He never did.

Tony was the one to bring him whatever he needed, and the doctor immediately knew something was wrong. It took him a few minutes to think about what happened, but then he finally remembered Peter's enhanced hearing. The boy probably heard his parents' earlier conversation and assumed Stephen didn't want to be bothered by him and decided to stay away and respect his wishes.

Just the thought squeezed the sorcerer's heart painfully.

Precious, wonderful Peter ignored his own insecurities so Mom could rest without disruption.

Tony's cellphone ringing pulls Stephen out of his own head and he watches as the older man looks at the screen. He grimaces in irritation before pocketing the phone and places a glass of water on the nightstand by Stephen.

"Pepper needs me for something SI related."

Stephen waves him away. "I'll be fine. I'll have FRIDAY annoy Bruce if I need something."

Tony opens his mouth as if to say something but seems to think better of it and closes his mouth again. Stephen relaxes against his pillow when the billionaire leaves and allows himself to doze off until a thud and a soft curse wakes him later in the evening. Blue eyes blink open at the disturbance and he immediately makes eye contact with doe-like brown eyes wide with horror.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you! I'm only in here because Dad asked me to check on you. Y-You're obviously fine so I'll...go. Yeah." Peter turns to leave and Stephen quickly reaches out and grabs his sleeve.

"Come here Spiderling."

"I swear I wasn't hovering!"

Stephen smiles softly and pulls the younger onto the bed next to him. "You can watch tv if you want...just keep me company."

The horror slowly eases away as the sorcerer pulls him into a hug, and Peter quietly turns on the tv with low volume. If this wasn't enough to show his son he wasn't bothered, he didn't know what was. He really did need the company though. After living in the chaos of the tower for months, the quiet was unnerving.

Stephen found that he really didn't mind.

Swings

A story of a relationship that started in the old community park

Warning(s): Just fluff

A/N: This took me way too long to write and i’m tired and i want to sleep, Feedback is always appreciated, have a nice day!  

Words: 5k

*

June 14, 1999

The park was empty as your mum pushed your pushchair underneath the arch the two oak trees made at the entrance. She slumped on the park bench, relieved that you had finally stopped screaming and had turned back into the gurgling, bubbly baby you normally were. The soothing sounds of the birds chirping and the simple beauty of the nature that surrounded the local play park was enough to relax any sleep deprived mother.

However, your mum jumped, startled, as someone sat on the bench next to her.

“Oh my goodness I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” came the worried voice from beside her. With a hand placed over her heart in attempt to calm her erratic breathing she replied

“Oh don’t worry about it, she’s kept me up all night so I’m a little out of it” she joked, gesturing to you in the pushchair, completely fascinated with a rattle that your mum had given you earlier.

“Well I’ve just had a struggle with Shawn trying to get him to eat his lunch, you should’ve seen the mess. Most of the food ended up on my top instead of going in his mouth!” The two mothers giggled, both having similar experiences with their kids.

During their conversation, Shawn had managed to shuffle close to the edge of his pushchair so he could see what you were playing with. When he noticed the bright red rattle in between your small hands, he squealed, gaining your focus. He made grabby hands towards the toy, thoroughly intrigued by the noises it made. You held the rattle out as far as your short arms would let you, finally managing to put it into the boys hands as your movements were uncoordinated and clumsy from your young age.

He let out a squeal at the noise the bright piece of plastic made when he shook it between his chubby hands. You giggled, clapping along, encouraging him to continue. Your parents watched in awe as you both ended up in fits of high pitched giggles and squeals, the occasional gurgle coming from your new friend.

When the clouds turned the sky grey and the wind grew bitter the two mothers decided to call it a day. They arranged to meet at the same time same place next week, weather dependant of course.

Little did they know what they had started.

 October 25, 2002

You had pleaded and begged your mum to let you go to the park that evening. Your mum had been reluctant since you had just got back from your first day at pre-school and had thought that it would be best for you to have an early night. But no, during the day, Shawn and you had made a plan to meet at the park next to the swings and you couldn’t not go

Sure enough as you dragged your mum by the hand through the gate and under the oaks, you saw Shawn also dragging Karen. As soon as you saw his figure you had dropped your mums hand and were running as fast as your little legs would carry you.

However, you were so focused on your friend that you completely ignored the change in surface, tripping over the slightly elevated concrete slab and falling.

Instantly, you felt pain in your knees and the heels of your palms. Hot tears gathered in your eyes, before they began streaming down your reddening cheeks.

Shawn was the first to reach you, sitting down next to you and rubbing your back, just like his mother had done with him many times.

“My-my knees” you spluttered, chocked sobs leaving your lips. Shawn looked at your grazed knees then your eyes and then back at your knees before he leant down and placed a kiss on each one.

“Better?” he asked, a flicker of hope shone through the clouds of concern in his hazel eyes. He hated seeing is friend hurt and really wanted to make you feel better.

“A little bit” you managed to say between the sobs. You held up your index finger and thumb to indicate how much he had helped and offered him a watery grin, which he returned.

He held onto your hand, taking extra care not to squeeze where you had grazed.

“What have I told you about running?” Your mum said, crouching down and assessing your injuries, upon realising they were nothing that a band-aid couldn’t fix, she worked on soothing your cries. She rubbed calming circles onto your back.

“Do we need to go home?” She offered when you eventually stopped blubbering.

“No I’m fine” you said, making your voice as confident as you could as you tried to stand up. You soon realised that bending your knees hurt, a lot. Shawn quickly noticed this and stood up, taking your other and in his and carefully pulling you up to your feet.

“Sweetie if you can’t walk we can do this tomorrow instead” Karen assured you

“No mummy we only just got here” Shawn pleaded. He wanted to spend time with you, not go home. He looked around the playground for something that you could do. “Can we go on the swings? Y/N won’t have to walk” Shawn looks at Karen, who looks at your mum. She shrugs, I don’t see why not.

Once both secured in the baby swings, your parents start to push the two of you, slow at first before starting to push with more force as you and Shawn practically beg. By the end the two of you are giggling messes.

“See you at school tomorrow” Shawn says, wrapping his small arms around you.

“Bye bye Shawn” you say returning the hug before your mum tells you that you have to go.

 March 2, 2012

School had been stressful today. Due dates and exam papers were piling up all of a sudden and everyone was stressed, not used to the pressure the education system was putting them under.

You somehow managed to walk to the park, wanting nothing more than to be in your bed. You opened the gate and passed under the familiar arch of the large trees, feeling more relaxed with every step you took. You didn’t know what it was but there was something about this park that made you calm, as if it removed all the weight off of your shoulders.

You saw him. He was sitting on the swing, gently pushing himself with his feet that were still planted on the ground. You walked past the baby swings (at your age there was no way you could fit in them) and perched on the swing next to Shawn.

“Hey” he smiled tiredly

“Hi” you replied, just as exhausted as him. You wrapped your arms around the chains of the swing, after all, you didn’t want to fall off.

“I don’t like school” You murmured, Shawn glanced at you, giving a nod of agreement before he looked back towards the empty field in front of him, watching the birds collect sticks for their nests.

“I hate Mrs Richardson” He replied, you stayed silent, waiting for him to explain. Surely enough a few seconds later “She gave me a detention and extra homework for forgetting my book”

“Yikes” you muttered. He let out a breathy chuckle

“Yikes? Really Y/N?” you rolled your eyes

“Sorry my head is just…” you trailed off, neither of you said anything, you had known each other long enough to know the end of that sentence, Shawn had always understood you.

You sat in comfortable silence. You both watched as a rabbit raced across from one grass verge to another. You both watched as a man walked across the field, his dog running backwards and forward in front of him. But you didn’t say anything, you didn’t need to really.

It was Shawn who cut through the silence

“Y/N?” He murmured

“Hmm” you replied, prompting him

“We’re gonna be best friends forever right?” You giggled at his request

“Didn’t you just make fun of me for saying ‘yikes’?” he laughed a little at that, nodding his head as if to say ‘fair enough’

“No but seriously, whatever happens, best friends?” He held his hand out you took it and sealed the deal with a handshake

“Best friends, no matter what”

 June 26, 2014

“Bye mum!” you shouted before racing out of the front door. You quickly walked the route which at this point you were 100% certain you could walk with your eyes closed (you and Shawn had tried to test this when you were 12 but it ended up with him spraining his ankle. He swore that curb wasn’t there before). You were so excited. Shawn had released his song ‘Life of the Party’ and you were going to meet him in the park. You had even taken a minute to pick some flowers from the side of the pavement, trying your best to arrange them in some artistic way.

However when you opened the gate you noticed that your swing was pre-occupied and so was Shawn.

You backed out of the park, a horrible feeling in your chest as you began to walk home. You remembered then that your friend Hannah had told you at lunch that she had seen Shawn and Lauren together in town at the weekend, but you didn’t believe her. Why would you? You were sure that Shawn would tell you if he went on a date. But as soon as you saw them kissing on the swings, on you and Shawns swings, you let the realisation wash over you. That Shawn didn’t tell you.

You chucked the flowers over someones hedge, not really caring whos garden they were now scattered across, you just wanted to get home.

“Sweetie?” Your mum called as you solemnly trudged up the stairs towards your room, but you didn’t respond. You felt drained, and hurt – mainly hurt.

Later that night your phone pinged on your desk as you finished your physics homework.

Shawn: Hey where were you tonight? You left me allll by myself

You could tell he was trying to joke, and fair enough usually you would’ve laughed. But the text only made your heart hurt more- he wasn’t by himself, so why would he lie about it?

Sorry, I just didn’t feel good. Congrats on your song tho!

You replied, placing the phone face down on your desk. You rested your head in your hands and convinced yourself that the pain in your chest was because he lied, not anything else.

 January 5, 2015

You were on the floor, back pressed against the cold metal pole of the frame of the swings. Your knees were pulled into your chest and you were sobbing your heart out. The reason? Jack, your boyfriend of 6 months had broken up with you, claiming he had feelings for someone else. You had been sat in the park kicking yourself for believing that a relationship at the age of 16 would work out. You just felt stupid, angry and distraught at the same time, and the fact that you were a hormonal teen was only adding fuel to the fire.

You were numb from head to toe. Unsure about whether it was the freezing winter wind or the overwhelming emotions that you were consumed with.

When you felt something land on your shoulders you flinched, so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t hear Shawn approach.

“Hey, it’s just me. You looked cold so I brought a blanket” He offered from behind you. After he had wrapped the soft material around you he sat down next to you.

“You’ll never guess wha-“ He cut himself off with a gasp

“Oh my god Y/N” he whispered when he noticed the tears cascading down your cheeks, finally piecing together your position you were sitting in and the way you had been unusually quiet. Without even thinking he wrapped his arms around you, engulfing you in a bear hug. His heart broke with yours as he felt your tears soak the thin material of the t-shirt he was wearing underneath his jacket. He nearly cried with you when he felt your hands clutch desperately at his top – he had never ever seen you so fragile in all of his life and he hated it with everything he was.

If it was anyone else, he would have cared about the makeup that was smeared across his shirt. But he didn’t, instead he kept rubbing soothing circles onto your back and whispering a stream of calming words into your ear. When your sobs turned into sniffles he pulled back slightly, just enough so he could look into your puffy, bloodshot eyes.

“What happened?” He whispered. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself not to cry again, he wasn’t worth it you repeated over and over again. It had been at least a minute since Shawn had asked, but he knew not to push you, to give you time to gather your thoughts.

“He broke up with me, b-because he liked Ru-Ruby more” You said. Despite your best efforts, your voice came out hoarse and raw. A fresh wave of tears flowed from the corners of your eyes. You felt his padded thumbs wipe them off your cheeks. He pulled you in for yet another hug, letting you rest your head on his shoulder.

“He doesn’t deserve you. Hell, he never did, y/n you’re so funny, smart, gorgeous, charismatic and way to friendly and trusting for your own good!”  He felt himself blush slightly as he realised gorgeous had slipped from his lips, but didn’t go to correct himself, after all he meant it.

“Thanks Shawn” you murmured into his shoulder, slightly flustered as no one had ever said such nice things to you.

“You remember the last time when you were crying in this park?” He said, nudging you gently.

It took you a few moments to think back

“Oh yeh! When I grazed my knee and you kissed it better” You chuckled lightly at the thought of you and little Shawn. How the two of you were often labelled ‘partners in crime’ by your families.

“Need me to kiss anything better this time?” He joked. You thanked god that he couldn’t see the blush that was creeping up your neck and spreading across your neck – you were completely oblivious, however, to the redness of his face as even he was surprised at how forward his words were.

“Nothing for you to kiss better, I’m good. I promise” You also thanked the winter wind for letting you use the excuse of its bitterness for causing the red colour of your cheeks. You managed to wiggle yourself out of his firm hold and used the bar behind you to haul yourself up.

When he stretched out his hand, you grasped it with yours and tried to tug him up. Tried. He just sat there with a smug smile on your face as he watched you pull on his arm with all the force you could muster.

“Jesus Shawn what has Karen been feeding you?” You exclaimed. You stood with your hands on your hips, blanket from earlier draped over your shoulders and obviously out of breath.

He gasped jokingly and placed a hand over his heart.

“Are you calling me.. fat?” He feigned hurt, only making you roll your eyes. This caused him to break out in laughter. You spun around and started striding towards the gate. You weren’t mad, Shawn knew that too, but you knew he would follow you (and you were really cold). Sure enough only a few seconds later, before you had even made it to the trees, he had caught up with you. He announced his arrival by wrapping an arm around your blanket-covered shoulders.

He fell into step with you as you exited the park and tucked you further into his side as he felt you shiver.

When he had made sure you got home safely (he had actually taken you into your house, not leaving without saying hi to your mum of course) he turned back and walked back to his house, which he had already passed. During this time the thought of some boy dumping you and making you upset made him angry, he knew he could’ve prevented your heartbreak but yet he had let you go on that very first date with him. He should’ve told you that it wasn’t a good idea but instead when you asked for his opinion he was so shocked all he could say was “Go for it”.

Climbing the stairs to his room he couldn’t stop thinking that he knew he could treat you better. And with that wave of inspiration he rushed to his guitar which was abandoned in the middle of his floor, grabbed a pad of paper and a biro pen from his school pencil case and got to work.

 April 20, 2017

It was 1 week until Shawn was due to start his tour. 7 days was all you had left with him until you wouldn’t see him again for goodness knows how long.

No matter what way you said it, your heart physically hurt at the thought of not being able to see your best friend (who you may or may not have realized you had a crush on) for months.

He had denied his parents request of going to the shops in Pickering for a day out with his parents. He had instead insisted that he was going to spend the day with you at the park, at first Karen had found this request strange, but after Manny filled her in on how Shawn had confessed his major crush on his best friend, she actually drove him there.

So there the two of you were, in complete silence, admiring the view in front of you, blissfully content in each other’s presence.

“Wanna see who can go the highest?” You offered. He glanced at you and nodded, smiling as you started to push yourself backwards with your legs, ready to start your light-hearted competition. He took a second longer, his eyes raked your figure as you positioned yourself to get as much momentum as you possibly could to start with, he had to force himself to look away and get in position.

You waited until he seemed ready counting down before you both started to swing. You let out a laugh of pure joy, enjoying the feeling of momentary weightlessness as you soared forwards. Shawn quickly joined until you were both unable to contain your happiness.

“Jump on 3?” He shouted over the billowing sound the air made as it rushed past your ears, you hadn’t noticed but he had slowed his swing down so now you were perfectly synchronised.

“3” You replied, adjusting your grip on the metal chain

“2” he counted, shuffling forward on his seat

“1!” you shouted, timing your jump perfectly – just as your swing reached its peak height. In your peripheral, you saw Shawn’s lanky figure leap off his seat. You both landed at the same time, giggles and laughs still bursting from the two of you as you went to sit on the park bench behind the swing set.

Eventually the laughter quietened down and all that was heard was heavy breathing and the sounds of birds chirping from the oak trees. You stared ahead, never noticing until that point just how many flowers had grown in the overgrown flower beds. You admired their vibrant colours that stood out from the greens and browns of the park, usually the only colour was the chipped red paint on the swings and the faded yellow of the structure surrounding the slide.

But Shawn wasn’t admiring the flowers, he hadn’t even spared them a glance. Instead he had his gaze directed on you. He payed close attention to detail, noticing the way your eyes sparkled with happiness, seeing how radiant you looked when the clouds parted and the sun shone on your skin. He was in so deep and he knew it. It dawned on him that this was the perfect moment, he didn’t give himself time to talk himself out of it, but instead focussed on what he felt for you. He closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath.

“Y/N?” You tore your gaze away from the flowers and turned towards him, not missing the way he visibly gulped.

“You alright?” You asked. He nodded, willing himself to stay calm. There was no way he was chickening out of this.

“Ok, so I know this is completely out of the blue and it’s probably a lot for you to take in but I need to get this off my chest because the next time I come to say it, I think it’ll be too late.” You nodded. You felt your heart rate begin to pick up. You mentally kicked yourself for watching too many rom-coms and getting your hopes up.

He inhaled again “So I’m going on tour and I won’t be able to see you and I can guarantee that if when I come back you will have a boyfriend because how could you not? So I need to ask you because if I don’t I’m certain I’ll never get this chance again ok?” You nodded again, urging him on, despite half of your body screaming at you and telling you that this isn’t what you think it is.

You noticed he was fidgeting with his hands, a nervous habit he had, so you reached forward and took his in yours, rubbing your thumbs over the back of his hands. This seemed to be the push he needed. “Will you be my girlfriend Y/N?” He asked, his eyes searching yours, desperate for any sign of agreement.

You wanted to say yes. You wanted to scream yes, but instead you were suddenly filled with insecurities and doubts. One boy had found better and left, what would stop Shawn from doing the same?

“Shawn I want to be, I really, really do. But what if you find a girl who you like more, what if you find someone who is better?” Your voice faded into a whisper. Shawn’s heart cracked as he realised that he had caused all your past insecurities to resurface.

“Stop” He said, his voice barely above a whisper

“You don’t see it do you Y/N?” you didn’t move, you couldn’t, you were frozen in place

“You’re perfect. So please,” he took a deep breath “please stop telling yourself that you aren’t” His face held a pained expression that you had never seen before.

“But Jack left, who’s to say you won’t leave too?” You wiped a stray tear before it ran down your cheek. You wanted to be stronger than this, you needed to be. And as frustrating as it as for Shawn, he could understand where you were coming from.

“I’m not an ass.” Shawn said, a poor attempt to try and lighten the mood. When your sleeve covered hand moved for a second time up to wipe a tear, he sighed.

“You know ‘Treat You Better’?” You hesitated for a second before nodding at his seemingly random question.

“I wrote that for you” He saw a flicker of something in your eyes. Hoping he had witnessed a break through, a small crack in your exterior, he pushed on.

“Every word I wrote in that song, I meant. Because I know I can treat you better, because I want to and because it’s what you deserve. And I think deep down, you know that to” He had never spoken such meaningful words in his life and he didn’t regret any of it.

This was all that you needed to hear. You desperately pulled him towards you and pressed your lips against his. He couldn’t hold back the moan that he let down when he tasted how sweet you tasted, like peach iced tea he got once from Starbucks in summer. His hands gripped your waist and yours ran through his hair.

When you finally pulled back for a breath of much needed air, you couldn’t stop the beaming smile that spread across your face - and by the looks of things - neither could Shawn.

“Yes” you replied. His eyebrows furrowed and confusion was apparent in his facial features.

“Yes I’ll be your girlfriend” and before you could react, he had placed his hands on your cheeks and his lips met yours in a passionate kiss.

 April 20, 2020

“Ok, now I want you to put something on for me” Shawn said whilst leaning to get something from the backseat.

For your 3 year anniversary, Shawn had a surprise planned for you. However there were pros and cons to this. Pros: Shawn had planned t so you didn’t have to do anything. Cons: surprise.

You never had been a fan of surprises, you would rather know what was happening in a situation. But did Shawn listen to your consistent begs and bribes (some which were extremely tempting).

No

So here you were in his car staring at the piece of material he brandished in his right hand.

“I’m not wearing that” you blurted before he even managed to explain. He held his index finger up in the air and confidently said “You will because I said so” You rolled your eyes. You turned around slightly so he would be able to cover your eyes, but gave him no verbal response, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that he had won. But of course Shawn knew what you were playing at and didn’t move a muscle.

“Just put it on Shawn” you grumbled, not happy that he had turned your tactic against you. He carefully wrapped the blindfold over your eyes, ensuring that there was no way you could see from underneath by carefully inspecting for any gaps. He knew damn well that you wouldn’t own up to being able to see out of it.

He continued the drive he knew well until he reached the parking spot. He quickly murmured a “Don’t you dare move” to you before opening his door and rushing round to the passenger side to open your door and help your sight-deprived self out of the car and safely onto the pavement.

Walking into the park he guided you carefully, making sure he notified you at even the slightest change in gradient.

Eventually he had you where he wanted you, and began to make the last minute arrangements to his plan.

“Not gonna lie Mendes but this is kinky” you announced, completely undeterred by your lack of vision in that moment. Shawn laughed at that, he shook his head at himself for even thinking that you could take this seriously.

He smoothed his clothes down and tried to calm his erratic heartbeat.

“You can take it off now” you heard. You reached behind you to untie the knot Shawn had carefully tied. When it came loose and dropped to the floor, the first thing you saw was the grassy field you had looked over for hours on end throughout your childhood, it still amazed you know as to how many memories flooded into your head from that one scene. You then noticed that Shawn wasn’t in front of you. You turned around, your lips parting in shock as you took in the freshly painted swing set,  hand painted vines covered in brightly coloured flowers, just like the ones that grew in the flower beds this time of year, decorated the once paint chipped poles.

Your hands went up to cover your mouth as your eyes dropped to where Shawn was on one knee.

“Y/N” He started, a smile already on his face because of your reaction. “We’ve been together for 3 ears exactly but I’ve had the pleasure of knowing you for the most of my lfe. We’ve stuck with each other through the nappy stages, the temper tantrums, the awful haircuts and unfortunate brace faces” He gave you a pointed look, causing you to giggle from underneath your hands “And most importantly you’ve stuck by my side and supported me through my career through the ups and downs, you’ve dealt with the crazy fans and looked after me even when come home all tired and moody from the studio. I’m so lucky to say that you’ve always been in my life and I would be honoured if you let me spend the rest of our lives together.”

“Oh my god Shawn yes” You pulled him to his feet and kissed him passionately, which he eagerly reciprocated.

When you pulled away for breath you pressed your foreheads together. “I’m so glad you said yes” He whispered

“Me too” you murmured

“No seriously, my knee was hurting from kneeling and I needed to stand up” He grinned cheekily, you separated your foreheads and pushed at his chest, a loud laugh coming from him.

“You idiot, we were having a moment!” You cried, and despite your best efforts a giggle escaped you.

“We’ll have plenty of time for more moments Mrs Mendes” You smiled

“Mrs Mendes,” you said testing your future title “I love it”

“Oh thank god!” Shawn dramatically placed his tattooed hand over his heart. He quickly grabbed your hands before they could, once again, come into contact with his chest.

“Would my fiancée like to go on the swings?” He asked, smiling at you

“She would love that”

living their fantasy

AO3

Notes: Eliza/Lacey belongs to @fist-it-out

“Hello, gorgeous!”

Addison couldn’t help blushing slightly as her boyfriend slid into the hard cafeteria chair beside her.  “How was the physics test?”  Zed and Eliza answered at the same time:

“If I wasn’t already undead, it would have killed me,” Zed moaned dramatically.

“Easiest thing I did all semester.”  Eliza rolled her eyes.  “Except maybe Lacey.”

Addison snorted, jabbing Zed in the stomach as Bucky and the Aceys entered the cafeteria. “Ow,” he grunted, before noticing where she was pointing.  “Speak of an Acey,” he nodded towards the cheer squad.

“Wait, Zed, don’t wave her over.  Zed, I’m serious, stop.”  Eliza smacked her best friend’s arm down.

“Ow,” Zed repeated.

Thankfully, for Eliza, Lacey hadn’t noticed the corner table.

“Have you two gone on that date yet?”  Eliza hurriedly changed the topic.

Addison looked from Eliza to Zed.  “What date?” Bonzo grinned, saying something Addison didn’t quite catch.  Zed muttered something under his breath, too low for the humans to hear.

“You mean you haven’t told her yet?  And I’m late to lunch specifically to give you time so we could freak out together!” Bree’s voice came from behind Addison, and she whipped around.

“Are you guys up to something?”

Zed made a face, before turning his attention back to his girlfriend.  “Addison,” he said.  He paused, then easily jumped onto the table.  “Addison!”  This time, her name was announced to the cafeteria.  The room fell silent, a hundred pairs of eyes locked onto the zombie. Zed’s expression flashed – eyes wide, like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, - before regaining his confidence.  “Would you do me the honour of going out with me tonight?”

She nodded. “Yes,” she whispered.

Zed spun on the table.  “She said Yes!”

There was little to no reaction from the rest of the student body, not that Zed or Addison cared.

“What kind of date are we talking about?  The mash isn’t until next week.”  That didn’t leave many options; most businesses, though no longer blatantly discriminatory, were still anti-zombie.  Zed just shrugged.  “How am I supposed to know what to wear?  You’re talking to the girl who wore pastels to a mash.”

Zed smiled. “You’ve got Bree.  And Eliza and Bonzo, if they want.”  Bonzo grinned, giving Addison an enthusiastic thumbs up from down the table.  Eliza smirked.

“Does everyone know what our date is, except me?”  Addison said, half-jokingly.

Bree and Eliza walked Addison home after school.  Eliza was only slightly hesitant about being in the human part of town and Addison had assured her that her father would be more than willing to drive her home.  “He’s done it for Zed a few times.  Look, Bree’s gotta go home too.  We’ll drop you off in Zombietown first, okay?”

Eliza looked at them warily.  “Look. As much as I hate to admit this, I trust you.  Both of you. But I am not riding alone with the chief of zombie patrol.”  The other girls nodded in agreement.

Once they were in Addison’s room and had gotten a start on their homework, Eliza and Bree began digging through the closet.  Eliza automatically pushed past anything that was soft pink or baby blue. “Don’t you own any other colours?”

“There’s mints,” Bree said, unhelpfully.  Eliza mimed puking.

“It’s all too… Seabrook.  I’ve seen movies, not all humans wear the same three colours all the time.”

“Yeah, but that’s all they have in Seabrook.  Unless you’re going to lend me your coveralls, E,” Addison laughed.

“No, but we can take your clothes back to Zombietown and dye them.  Not too Seabrook, but not too zombie either.” Eliza pulled open the dresser.  “Do you even own jeans?”  Addison opened the bottom drawer.  “Addison, everything in here is blue, green, or pink.”

“Pink jeans,” Addison countered.

Eliza rolled her eyes.  “That makes such a huge difference,” she said sarcastically.

“If you really hate my wardrobe that much, I guess we’ll just have to go shopping.” Addison ran out, returning in a moment with a plastic card.  “If we hurry, we’ll be able to get same day shipping.”

In the end, Addison’s impromptu shopping spree ended up with two pairs of black jeans, gray jeans, and a gray leather jacket (and a black one, Addison definitely noticed Eliza eyeing it).

The packages were guaranteed delivery within three hours.  Bree had brought nail polish with her and began carefully painting Addison’s fingernails.  Once the second coat had dried, she turned to Eliza, who begrudgingly held out her hand. It was a slow process.

The doorbell rang.  “Eliza, stay. Your nails aren’t dry yet and I am not doing that again.”  Bree was downstairs and back in a flash, staggering under the pile of boxes.  “Oh my god, this is so exciting!”

“Yeah, it kinda is,” Eliza agreed.  Addison nodded, going straight for the packages.  She quickly found her outfit for the night and went into the en suite to change.

“Are you ready to be dazzled?”  She called out.

The gray leather jacket over a mint sweater and black jeans looked stunning.  Bree had braided Addison’s hair so that it went over her scalp like a headband.  It was nearly seven o’clock when they allowed Addison downstairs, where Missy and Dale fawned over their daughter’s look.  Addison could tell that they were faking, a little, but it felt nice that she was longer the one pretending.

The doorbell rang exactly on the hour.  Eliza and Bree brought Addison back upstairs, while Dale opened the door and played the part of concerned father.  Addison could hear Zed playing along and rolled her eyes at the theatrics of it. Missy came up to escort Addison to her date, with the girls winking conspiratorially behind her back.

“Hey gorgeous.”  Zed winked. Addison almost replied, ‘don’t you mean delicious’, before remembering that her parents were right behind her.

“Hey.” Zed looked pretty good himself, wearing the light pink suit jacket over a green tee shirt with dark pants.

“Home by nine, Mister Necrodopolous,” Dale warned them before they left.  Addison rolled her eyes, but Zed nodded.

“Yes, sir.”

“So where are you taking me?”  Addison was practically vibrating beside him.

“It’s called a surprise, Addy.”

The young couple walked the empty streets of Seabroook, hands clasped tightly together. Zed led his date to the Light Garden, empty but still brightly illuminated.

“We haven’t had much time alone lately, I thought it might be nice to do a picnic,” he whispered.  “We’ve got pizza, some brown pops, and brains in a can.  Actually, I’m joking about that last part.  It’s just pizza.  Cold pizza by now.”

“I love cold pizza,” Addison giggled.

“So do I.” With that, Zed stole the pizza slice that she had just sunk her teeth into and finished it off.

“Do that again, zombie.  The only thing more deadly than my high kick-”

“-is your low kick,” Zed finished, laughing.

“No one gets between me and pizza.  Not even my, my boyfriend.”  Addison grinned as she tripped over the word.  Her boyfriend.  Her boyfriend, Zed.  Zed, her boyfriend, who knew her parents, who loved her, who took her out on nice dates and to zombie mashes.  “This is perfect.  Thank you.”

“You deserved to go on a real date, Addy.  Movies and long walks in the park… I hope you know that I want that for us.”

Zed was looking into her eyes, the last of the pizza suddenly forgotten.  Addison smiled, breathless, twisting a napkin around her drying fingers.  He was leaning towards her, lacing his fingers through hers as the napkin fell to the ground.  Zed felt her smile when they finally kissed; Addison turned her head away slightly, but his lips didn’t leave her skin, instead they moved with her and trailed up her cheek. Addison inhaled deeply, the scent and taste of Zed filling her senses.

“I love you, Addison,” Zed said softly.

“Zed,” Addison’s smile shone brightly, “I love you, too.”

She kissed him again, or he kissed her first.  It didn’t matter.  Just a girl and a zombie, living their fantasy.

Who Waits For Love (Chapter 3)

Summary: T.J. Kippen lost his chance to tell Cyrus Goodman how he felt when they were in the 8th grade. Now, they are in their junior year of high school and Cyrus is on his 3rd relationship. Is it time to give up… or continue to wait for love?

A/N: This is so much longer than I thought it was going to be. A lot going on here!

When T.J. pulled up to the Goodman home that morning, the porch steps were empty. Furrowing his brows in confusion, he decided to give it another minute or so. Cyrus was rarely late in the mornings but then again, after everything that happened the day before, T.J. couldn’t blame him if he was a little delayed.

When five minutes passed and the door never opened, T.J. grabbed the bag of chocolate-chocolate chip muffins from the compartment beside him and exited his car. He walked up to the front door and rang the bell.

Cyrus’ mother opened the door. “Oh, good morning, T.J.,” she greeted with a kind smile. “I’m sorry but Cyrus isn’t feeling well enough to go to school today.”

The way she flashed him a knowing look after saying that made T.J. realize that she was aware of what happened.

“He told you?” he asked, hesitantly.

Sighing, she nodded. “Thank you for taking care of him yesterday.”

“Yeah, of course. He’s my best friend.” He looked down at the muffins in his hand before handing them over to her. “Can you give him these? My mom made them last night.”

Dr. Goodman nodded, taking the bag. “Of course. I’ll let him know you stopped by when he wakes up. He went back to sleep.”

“Thank you.”

He gave her a polite nod before turning on his heels to get back to his car.

For the first time since he got his license, he was driving to school alone. The absence of enthusiastic chatter made the silence all the more glaring so he turned up the stereo.

It felt a little strange arriving at school alone and just following the crowd. He had gotten used to Cyrus being next to him. Alone, he went to his locker to grab the things he needed for the day.

“Kippen.”

T.J. froze upon hearing the voice he knew and despised so much. 

Scowling, he turned around to see the brunette Lacrosse player who broke his best friend’s heart standing there. T.J. felt a smidge of satisfaction at seeing a bruise marring the corner of the guy’s lips and a little regret that he didn’t do more than just one punch.

“You got some nerve showing your face to me after what you did,” he spat, making sure to lace his words with poison.

Lance’s confidence faltered before he schooled his features to that of the cocky bastard he was.

“Whatever. Where’s Cyrus? I need to talk to him.”

At that, T.J. barked out a sarcastic laugh. “And you think I’d let him talk to you?”

“Pfft, you’re not his boyfriend, Kippen.”

Low blow, but he didn’t let it bother him.

“Neither are you. At least at the end of the day, I’m still his best friend.” He chuckled without humor. “You think after what you pulled, Cyrus would want to get back with you? You’re over, remember? He said so.”

“I can get him back if I want to,” Lance replied, cockily.

T.J. raised a brow. “Really? You think he’d take you back? A little overconfident there, aren’t we, buddy?”

Lance’s gaze flared. “Look, here, Kippen-.”

“No, you look here, Parker.” Squaring his shoulders and standing tall and intimidating, T.J. took a step forward. “This is what’s going to happen. You’re going to stay away from Cyrus. Don’t look at him. Don’t talk to him. Don’t even think about him. Or so help me, I’m going to make sure you’ll never play another game of Lacrosse again. A shame to miss out on those college scouts, right?”

It was an empty threat. T.J. would never actually hurt him (much). But, his old reputation as a middle school bad boy still preceded him. Not to mention, his height allowed him to tower over the Lacrosse player. 

Lance seemed to have lost all his confidence and swagger from earlier. He knew that T.J. had the physical capabilities to render him unable to play another game. He had proven it the day before.

He scoffed. “Fine. Whatever. Keep him, then.” He looked T.J. up and down, wrinkling his nose. “He was boring, anyway.”

T.J. made to lunge at him in anger, school rules be damned.

“Whoa there, Kippen.”

A hand landed on his shoulder and forcibly pulled him back. He turned his head to see Marty, flashing him a warning look. When T.J. turned back to Lance, the bastard was already walking away.

T.J. shrugged Marty’s hand off. “You shouldn’t have stopped me,” he said, heading back to his locker.

“If I didn’t and you got in trouble for beating him up and Cyrus found out, you know you’d regret it,” Marty replied, harshly.

He was right. Unfortunately.

T.J. just huffed, choosing not to respond. After getting heated from that encounter, he needed to clear his head.

Marty leaned against the locker next to T.J.’s. “How’s Cyrus?” he asked, more gently.

T.J. sighed, shutting his locker and swung his backpack over his shoulder. “Not good. He’s not in today. His mom told me he went back to sleep.”

“He’s really broken up about this, huh?” Marty stated as they began to walk together.

“He got cheated on Marty, of course, he is!”

Marty raised his hands in surrender. “Sorry, I just… they didn’t seem serious. At least, Lance didn’t seem to be.”

“When Cyrus likes someone, he gives it his all. No matter what his relationship with Lance was like, I know he gave it his all. That’s why this is breaking him. That… that bastard doesn’t deserve him.”

“Yeah, I agree.”

They walked in silence for a moment, T.J.’s fury slowly being replaced by worry for Cyrus again. He wondered if he should text him just to check in.

“How are you doing, though?” Marty asked.

“Me? I’m fine. It’s Cyrus who’s hurt, Marty.”

“Yeah… but when Cyrus cries, you’re unfocused until he feels better.”

It was true. He hated whenever Cyrus cried. He wanted to cheer him up until he smiled again. For all of Cyrus’ past breakups, he was there as a shoulder to cry on. But, this time, he knew it would take more than just muffins and a High School Musical marathon to take away the pain.

He sighed. “I don’t know, man. I just… I can’t get his face out of my head. How hurt he was and all I want is to just…”

“Kiss his tears away?” Marty teased.

T.J. glared at him but didn’t deny it because, yes, that was exactly what he wanted to do. All the time.

“All I can do right now is just be there for him, like I always am,” he replied.

“At least now you have a chance with him,” Marty tried to help.

“I… wasn’t even thinking about that. You know, too busy being worried about my best friend while trying to not destroy his asshole of an ex.” They finally reached his homeroom. “Anyway, I’ll text him to ask how he is before the bell rings. I’ll see you, guys, at lunch.”

Marty nodded. “See ya.”

T.J. found his seat and sat down before taking his phone out to text.

Underdog Cyrus: Hey. Just checking in if ur OK. I gave ur mom muffins. Let me know if u want to talk. I’ll come right over. Luv u, underdog.

He felt his lips twitch at the last line. He wasn’t shy about telling Cyrus he loved him, anymore. He just wished he had the guts to tell him how deep that love really went. But, as long as Cyrus was okay, he would do everything in his power to make him happy again.

…….......

Time seemed to drag on the entire day. T.J. had History with Cyrus and he normally enjoyed the class. But, that day, his friend’s absence was felt even more as he didn’t have a seat partner to do the day’s class activity with.

Lunch couldn’t have arrived sooner and when it finally did, he bought his food and made his way to his usual table with the Andi, Buffy, Jonah, and Marty. (Some days, he would sit with the basketball team for socialization purposes, but that day was not one of those days.)

They were already seated and digging into their food when he arrived. Andi, Buffy, and Marty were seated on one side so he slid into the seat next to Jonah across from them. He sadly stared at Cyrus’ empty spot next to him and sighed.

“Did you hear from Cyrus?” Andi asked him.

He nodded. “He texted me around third period. He said he was feeling better but he’ll probably skip school for the rest of the week. Good thing it’s Thursday.” He stirred his bowl of chili. “I brought him muffins this morning. I hope it helps.”

“We should try to see him after school,” said Buffy.

“That’s a good idea, we can bring his homework,” added Jonah.

T.J. groaned in disappointment. “I have basketball practice today.”

Jonah nudged his arm with his elbow and grinned. “Don’t worry, we’ll tell him you miss him.”

T.J. blushed but before he could respond, Andi let out an excited squeal. She was looking at her phone and Buffy leaned over to look.

She snorted. “It’s just Amber,” she said, exaggeratedly rolling her eyes but she was smiling.

“She said she did really well on her Sociology test!” Andi squealed as she enthusiastically texted back. Finishing, she put her phone down and sighed, forlornly. “I miss her.”

Andi and Amber were a surprise to everyone. Last year, Andi realized that she might also like girls… and by girls, she meant one specific girl: Amber. And, apparently, Amber always knew she liked girls and tried to date boys to get rid of those feelings...until she met Andi, that is. They started dating last year and were currently in a long-distance relationship, since Amber was away in California for college. But, they seemed to be holding on pretty well.

T.J. always wondered how Jonah felt about both his exes dating, but he still hung out with both girls whenever he could so he probably got over it.

As they all dug into their lunch, T.J. took a moment to observe everyone around him. At first, he only really hung out with them because of Cyrus. After Reed and Lester pretty much abandoned him back in the 8th grade, he didn’t really have any other real friends.

He wondered...Would he have found another group of friends? Ones who actually liked and supported him?

It took him a long time to gain this group’s trust. And, now, even without Cyrus there, he no longer felt shy and out of place when Andi handed him her box of fries to share or when Buffy stole a piece of grape from his fruit cup.

“What are you smiling about?” Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow.

T.J. realized that he was, chuckled, and shook his head. “Nothing. Now, can you please stop stealing my fruit and start getting your own?”

“Nah, it’s not as fun.” And to demonstrate, she reached over and stole a pineapple.

Yep, these were his friends now. 

He couldn’t help but stare at Cyrus’ empty place again.

He really hoped he was okay.

…….......

Thursday ended and Friday passed. Before he knew it, the weekend had arrived. T.J. went to work Saturday morning and by the time he got off in the afternoon, he still didn’t feel like going home. His mom was working until very late, anyway, so he had the day to himself. So, he drove to Cyrus’ house.

He parked across the street from the driveway and made his way to the backyard. Finding Cyrus’ window, he stood under it as he took out his phone and called him.

It took three rings for Cyrus to answer.

“Hello?” His voice was a little raspy.

“Hey,” T.J. greeted. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you. I didn’t cry today.”

T.J. smiled at that.

“Sorry about yesterday,” Cyrus continued.

T.J. had tried to see him after school the day before but Cyrus had shooed him away, saying that he didn’t want to see anyone. T.J. was a little hurt by that but he knew that his friend was going through something that he couldn’t dare to imagine or understand.

“It’s okay, I get it,” he replied. “Are you okay enough to hang out with me today?”

Cyrus chuckled. “Yeah.”

“Great! Then, come out.”

There was a pause.

“What?”

T.J. smiled to himself as he looked up at the closed window. “I’m outside your window. Come out for a drive. We can go anywhere you want.”

He heard shuffling and kept his eye on the window until it slid up. Cyrus poked his head out and found him fairly quickly.

T.J. waved. “Hey.”

Looking confused yet elated to see him, Cyrus replied, “Hey. Why didn’t you just go through the front door?”

T.J. shrugged. “This is more fun.”

His friend did look better, though his eyes still looked droopy and a bit swollen, probably from all the crying. His hair was a messy mop, like he just got out of bed and didn’t have time to brush it.

“And cheesy. What are you? Romeo?”

He was happy to hear that Cyrus was feeling well enough to joke.

“If I’m Romeo then you’re my Juliet,” T.J. couldn’t resist flirting.

To his delight, Cyrus blushed and lowered his head, shyly.

“So… you wanna drive or what?” T.J. asked.

Up on his window, Cyrus nodded. “Okay. I’ll be down in 10 minutes. Just gotta get changed. Come through the front door, you savage! Mom’s home.”

“Okay, see ya.”

Cyrus waved before shutting his window and hanging up. Meanwhile, T.J. bounded back to the front door, a skip in his steps.

Dr. Goodman let him in with a smile, asking how he was and if he would like something to drink. She settled on an armchair in the living room while T.J. plopped himself on the sofa, making small talk.

There was a moment of brief silence where they could hear Cyrus pottering about upstairs as he got ready.

“Is he really okay?” T.J. had to ask.

Dr. Goodman leaned back in her seat. “Well, it’s the first time in days where he’s willing to leave the house. On Thursday, he just slept all day and only came out of his room when Andi and the others stopped by to drop off his homework. Yesterday, he didn’t leave his room at all and was listening to sad music on full volume. I would have reprimanded him but… well… I think he needed to let his emotions out, one way or another. So… I think he could use a distraction today.”

“I’m hoping to do just that. We’ve been worried.”

Footsteps coming down the stairs silenced them. T.J. turned his head towards it to see Cyrus neatly dressed and his hair now brushed.

He flashed T.J. a faint smile. “Hey,” he greeted.

T.J. stood up. “Hey, ready to go?”

Cyrus nodded.

They bid Dr. Goodman goodbye, promising to be back by dinner, and Cyrus followed him out to his car.

“So, where do you wanna go?” T.J. asked as soon as the doors were closed.

Cyrus shrugged.

“Park?” T.J. suggested. “We can go on the swings.”

“Sure.”

T.J. reached over and ruffled his hair, fondly, before starting the car and driving.

Cyrus was silent during the ride, only staring out the window.

“So, you wanna hear something funny that happened in history class yesterday?” T.J. casually said.

“Sure.”

“So we were watching a documentary on the Great Depression…”

Cyrus hummed to indicate that he was listening.

“… and Mrs. Shapiro fell asleep!”

T.J. flashed him a quick look from the corner of his eye and was pleased to see Cyrus breaking into a small smile and chuckling.

“Of course, she did. She finds her own class boring!”

The mood after that turned lighter, even if Cyrus barely spoke.

They arrived at the park and headed right for the playground where, thankfully, their swings were empty and devoid of children. Cyrus immediately went for his swing, sitting on it, and kicking his legs, silently.

T.J. settled on the one next to him, still watching him.

He didn’t like seeing Cyrus so… devoid of life. He wasn’t like this with his past breakups.

Tommy was more of a friend than a boyfriend and sure, Cyrus had been sad, but it was a mutual split. His feelings for Freddie went deeper but they broke up and made up so much that Cyrus didn’t even cry when he broke up with the drummer for the last time. Lance must have been special.

Not for the first time, T.J. wished it was him, instead. He wouldn’t break Cyrus’ heart the way Lance did.

“Legs go up, legs go down,” T.J. began to sing. “That’s how you make the swing go ‘round.”

Cyrus’ lip twitched.

“Come on,” T.J. prodded. “You gotta sing it, Underdog.”

His friend flashed him a look that asked, “Really?” But, eventually, Cyrus sighed in resignation.

“Drag your feet, you go slow,” he sang. “The more you drag, the less you go.”

Smiling, T.J. sang along with him, kicking his legs into the air, enthusiastically.

The sight of two high school guys sitting on the swings and singing what sounded like a nursery rhyme was probably comical to the outside view. But, T.J. didn’t really care what other people of them thought because Cyrus needed this. He needed to feel and be reminded that things would be okay again.

They rarely went to the swings anymore. High school made sure to get in the way of that. But, the rare times they did, it was always for a good reason. Either they were celebrating something or one of them needed comfort. The swings were always there, waiting for them.

“Remember when we first really talked?” T.J. asked, out of the blue. “It was right here.”

Cyrus chuckled. “I thought you were going to make fun of me.”

“Nah, you were too cute. I couldn’t make fun of that.”

Cyrus blushed. “It’s amazing how much things have changed since then, right? Except for these swings. I’m surprised they haven’t fallen apart yet. Unlike my heart.” He dug his feet into the ground, stopping his swinging, and let out a loud sigh. “I’m sorry for being such a downer.”

T.J. shook his head. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to be.”

“I don’t want to feel this way anymore.” Cyrus’ voice cracked as he spoke. “I want to stop crying. I want this pain here.” He placed a fist against his chest. “To stop. I just… want to move on already.”

“And you will, Cy. I know you will because you always do. You always pick yourself back up.”

Finally, Cyrus turned his head to look at him. “Really? You think so?”

T.J. grinned. “Definitely.”

Cyrus’ smile widened. “Thanks, T.J.”

“Anytime.” T.J. pushed himself off his swing. “I’m in the mood for ice cream. What about you?”

“I’ve eaten so much ice cream in the last three days, I feel like my stomach is gonna pop.”

T.J. raised an eyebrow. “So… yes?”

Cyrus stood up. “Lead the way, basketball guy.”

They bought ice cream from a guy with a cart and sat on a bench to enjoy their treats. T.J. regaled Cyrus with stories of what he missed at school, all the shenanigans of their schoolmates, and how he missed the rare day where the cafeteria served curly fries for Friday lunch. At some point, someone came by, walking their puppy, and it resulted in Cyrus getting on his knees on the asphalt to pat and briefly play with the little critter (T.J. took photos and videos).

By the end of their hangout, the color and vitality were back on Cyrus’ face and he was laughing and bouncing as they made their way back to T.J.’s car.

“Today was fun!” he exclaimed. “And that puppy was so cute! I have got to convince my parents to let me adopt one!”

Meanwhile, T.J. placed the key in the ignition, getting ready to drive Cyrus home.

“Hey, thank you, again.”

He turned to his friend, who was watching him, softly.

“You’ve always been there for me, Teej.”

T.J.’s heart fluttered at the complete faith and trust Cyrus had in him.

“I don’t think there’s anyone else in this world I trust more than you…don’t tell Buffy and Andi I said that.”

T.J. chuckled. “My lips are sealed.”

Cyrus sighed and leaned back in his seat, his smile faltering. “I always thought that… Lance would become someone I could completely trust. I’m kind of glad now that I never introduced him to my parents. Can you imagine the humiliation?” He chuckled, humorlessly before sighing again. “Damn, why do I have such bad tastes in guys?”

T.J.s heart began to quicken. “You just haven’t found the right guy. You never know… he could just be… right around the corner.”

Or right beside you, T.J. wanted to say but kept his mouth shut.

Cyrus huffed. “Where? They should just come out and sweep me off my feet.” He flashed him a grin. “I sound demanding. Sorry.”

T.J. shook his head. “It’s fine.” He paused, a lump forming in his throat as he turned his head to look at the wheel, instead. “Actually… Cyrus…”

“Yes?”

“I… um… if you want, you can…”

Go out with me. Date me. Be my boyfriend.

All those words ran in T.J.’s mind. He wanted to say them so badly.

“I can…what?”

Cyrus sounded like he was anticipating his next words. But, they only made T.J. even more nervous.

Cyrus had always said he was an athlete with boundless confidence but he couldn’t be further from the truth. T.J. was a coward when it came to him.

“You can… skip school on Monday,” he ended up saying, mentally kicking himself. “If you’re not feeling better, you shouldn’t go.”

“Oh. Yeah, I thought about that. But, I already missed two days. I don’t want to miss any more. Besides, I need to show Lance that he didn’t break me.”

T.J. finally chanced a peek at him to see Cyrus looking determined.

“I’m strong, right?” he asked, almost tentatively.

Feeling a little brave, T.J. reached out and placed a hand over his. “Very,” he agreed, squeezing his hand before pulling back. “So… ready to go home?”

Smiling, Cyrus nodded.

The drive back to the Goodman home was still silent but it lacked the tense atmosphere of earlier. Cyrus was feeling okay and relaxed enough to turn on the stereo and sing along to a few songs.

Meanwhile, T.J. was in turmoil, mentally scolding himself for being a coward. But, then he reasoned that Cyrus just got out of a relationship and probably wasn’t ready for a new one right off the bat. Besides, he didn’t want Cyrus to go out with him just because he was heartbroken. He wanted Cyrus to go out with him because he wanted to.

He pulled up to the house and parked. It was late afternoon now but he managed to bring Cyrus home before dinner so that earned him brownie points with the Goodmans.

“See you Monday?” Cyrus asked.

He nodded. “Monday.”

Cyrus leaned over and wrapped his arms around his neck and T.J. instinctively brought his own arms up, wrapping around his waist.

“You’re my best friend, Teej.”

T.J. swallowed. “You’re mine too, Cy.”

They hugged for a beat or two before pulling away and Cyrus got out of the car.

T.J. waited until he was inside the house. When the door shut closed, he let out a loud groan, leaning back on his seat, head hitting the headrest.

“I’m an idiot.”

…….......

“You’re an idiot!”

“I know!”

“You said he can skip school on Monday?!”

“It wasn’t my brightest moment, I know!”

Huffing, Marty dropped himself on the bed next to T.J. “He was practically giving you an open invitation to ask him out!”

“I highly doubt it’s that.”

“Dude, you are hopeless.”

T.J. snorted. “Don’t I know it.”

After dropping Cyrus off, T.J. had the bright idea of texting Marty and coming over to his house to rant.

He wasn’t sure if it was a bright idea anymore. Marty just kept on going about how he missed an opportunity to finally make his move.

As they both stared forlornly at the ceiling, the door opened.

“And this is why your moms think I’m some sort of cover-up for your secret relationship with T.J.”

Both boys looked up to see Buffy standing by the door, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, babe, we’re totally in love,” said Marty as he sat up and opened his arms invitingly.

Buffy rolled her eyes but nonetheless, walked over and plopped herself onto Marty’s lap. Meanwhile, T.J. continued to lie on Marty’s bed.

“So, what’s going on?” she asked.

This allowed T.J. to relay the story again, complete with arm gestures and his inner thoughts of the moment sprinkled in. Buffy listened, nodding or rolling her eyes in response to his narration.

When he was done, she was shaking her head.

“I agree that maybe asking him out right in this moment is a little… inappropriate,” she said, carefully.

“Ha!” T.J. blurted out, pointing at Marty. “I told you.”

“But!” Buffy continued, flashing him a pointed look. “You also shouldn’t waste time like you did after Tommy and Freddie. You’ve been crushing on Cyrus for years, T.J.! You’re a better choice than all of his previous boyfriends! And that’s saying a lot coming from me! So, why don't you just make a move?!”

Yes. Why didn’t he? Ever since 7th grade, there had always been this strange… pull… between him and Cyrus. He never understood what it was. He just knew that he liked him. A lot. Between then and now, he could even say that he had fallen in love. Hard. 

“I’m… scared of losing him,” he replied, softly as he stared at the ceiling. “I should probably just give up. You know how relationships go. Honeymoon stage. Then, you get comfortable. Then, you realize you don’t have feelings anymore. Then, you break up and never talk again. I can’t… I can’t handle it if Cyrus and I stopped talking.”

Buffy and Marty were both watching him now, sympathetic to his plight.

“Is that what you really believe would happen to you, guys?” Buffy asked, gently. “Your entire friendship is not that shallow, T.J.”

“I know… it’s just… I’d rather have him as just a friend and not lose him than go out with him and have things go wrong.” 

He let out a loud and long sigh.

“T.J.-,” Marty began.

“Guys.” He sat up and leaned against the headboard. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” He managed a smile at them. “And, I’m not going to give up. I’m just… going to let him heal a bit. You know, get rid of all the Lance pain before I swoop in and put his heart back together. That’s a plan, right?”

He sounded confident on the inside but on the inside, his hope felt like a dry desert.

And judging by the looks the couple were throwing him, they weren’t buying it either.

It was worth a shot.

…….......

True to his word, that Monday, T.J. picked up Cyrus for school and he was waiting for him on the doorstep.

The drive was normal with Cyrus chattering, T.J. listening, and the two of them play fighting over who got to choose the next song that played.

This time, Cyrus didn’t leave his side to greet a boyfriend but simply to go to his own locker.

“Are you gonna be okay when…. You know…. When you see him?” he had to ask.

He didn’t have to say a name but Cyrus stiffened before loosening himself up and nodding. “I’ll be fine,” he replied. “Don’t worry. See you at lunch?”

“Yeah.”

With a smile, Cyrus bid him goodbye and bounded off.

T.J. went about his morning routine of being greeted by Marty, walking to homeroom, and settling in his seat to wait for the morning announcements and other stuff to start.

The announcements were a blur – updates on school events, wins and losses of their sports teams, and what they were serving in the cafeteria that week.

T.J. doodled on his notebook, bored.

Finally, announcements were done and they had a full fifteen minutes to do homework, study, or chat before the first bell.

And, then, the door opened. Everyone in class, including T.J., looked up to see the Vice Principal entering with a guy in tow. He was tall with distinguished curly brown hair and really thick eyebrows (that reminded T.J. a bit of Cyrus’ eyebrows, they were really cute).

The Vice Principal briefly spoke to Mr. Singh, T.J.’s homeroom teacher, before clapping the new guy on the back and leaving.

“Okay, kids! Eyes up here!” Mr. Singh called out, but everyone already had their attention on him, anyway. “We have a new student joining our homeroom. Please introduce yourself to your classmates.”

The guy grinned and lifted a hand in greeting. “Hi, everyone. Name’s Aidan. Aidan Ross. Moved here from Florida.”

From sunny Florida to breezy Shadyside? Quite a change.

“Okay, Aidan, there’s an empty seat right there by the window.”

The rest of the class murmured to each other and themselves as they watched the new guy make his way down the aisle. By this time, T.J. went back to his doodling, no longer interested.

“Hey.”

He raised his head to see the new guy in front of him, still grinning.

Oh, right. There was an empty seat next to T.J. right by the window.

“Um, hey,” T.J. greeted back, politely.

The new guy held out a hand. “I’m Aidan.”

T.J. knew that already, he was just introduced.

Nonetheless, he took the hand and shook it. “T.J.,” he provided.

Aidan squeezed his hand. “Nice to meet you.” He let go before proceeding to the seat next to T.J.

Confused, T.J. managed a, “Um… you too.”

That was odd.

A/N: So, I imagined this guy to be... Joshua Bassett. I just really adore his friendship with Luke and while I was setting the story up, his face popped into my head so... here he is! I even used his character name from “Stuck In A Middle”. (Super creative, I know. But I do like the name.)

Tag list:

@androgynouspoetrycollector

@tyrusmuff1n

@thedampjofangirl

@tjsmuffin

@alyssailovespuppies

@buffy-driscool

@cyrusyeehaw

@r4anly

@delicatesleeper

@amazingpartytattoos

@unprofessionalart

@myrandom-fandomlife

@tjshoodie

@just-fic-me-up

@i-am-confussion

@completelysterling  @theobligatedklutz

@justeilona @literally-just-for-fanfics

@turtle0verl0rd

@angel28716

JJBA Secret Santa 2018 Fic: Mirror for You

Merry Christmas, @rember-redink!  I was your Secret Santa for the JJBA Secret Santa exchange!  I tried to incorporate two of your OTPs, so I hope I was able to do them both justice!

Fic title: Mirror for You

Pairings: Josuke/Koichi, YasuGap

Rating: G

Two couples are reflected in one another.

People always asked Koichi why he bothered with “a guy like Josuke.”  They never explained that phrase, but Josuke knew exactly what it implied—a thug like Josuke, an asshole like Josuke, a guy as frightening and intimidating as Josuke, who could and would beat you to a pulp for the smallest of offenses.  Even though they were adults now, and Josuke had become a well-respected police officer in Morioh, for fuck’s sake, known for his perception and quick thinking in tense situations, people still questioned Koichi and Josuke’s relationship.  Hell, they’d been dating since the end of high school and people still asked Koichi when he was going to settle down with a nice young woman.  These questions really didn’t make them angry anymore like they used to, but Koichi wasn’t particularly good at hiding his feelings, and when they met on Clover Bridge after Koichi was finished grading his high school literature students’ homework, as they did every day so Josuke could walk him home and they could chat for a moment, Jouske could read the frown lines on Koichi’s skin and know what kind of day he’d had from their depth, and how many people had tried his patience.  

 And it’s not like Koichi was any sort of shy about sharing Josuke’s most positive traits with the people that quizzed him—“He’s a good person with a good heart, he’s always in my corner, I feel safe with him, he’s a nice guy who just doesn’t suffer fools”—each compliment made Josuke’s heart go supernova, and he thanked whatever gods happened to be listening that this sweet guy who thought so highly of him had chosen to stay at his side for as long as he had.  That first year of high school was full of horrors that he never could have imagined, but it was also the year that Josuke met his ride-or-die bro Okuyasu, with whom he was still as tight as ever all these years later (although they argued sometimes when Okuyasu went past the speed limit testing whatever new motorcycle he’d just finished repairing while Josuke was on patrol, because Josuke really didn’t want to give his ride-or-die bro a speeding ticket even though it was The Law), and Koichi, the man he hoped to marry someday, and all of his other friends, living and dead and alien, and Josuke held them all close in his golden heart.  

 As Josuke watched the water flowing underneath Clover Bridge, the winter air cold enough to make his breath visible but not cold enough to freeze the Ichigo River, waiting for Koichi on a sliiiiiiightly-over-regulation-length break, he thought, with a smirk, about the people who asked him about Koichi, asking him why a tough guy like him wanted to date a wimpy nerd like Koichi. So few knew that Koichi was a fucking badass!  People didn’t bother Okuyasu about dating Mikitaka as much as they did Josuke dating Koichi, and Mikitaka was the one who was mistaken for a woman half the time. Maybe it was because Okuyasu and Mikitaka were proud enough oddballs that derogatory comments flew right by them (or because any implication that femininity equaled weakness led to either a punch from Okuyasu or the standard speech from Mikitaka about all of the strong women he knew personally, which did include Josuke’s mom and did just about make Josuke die from embarrassment because of it).  Anyway, these small-minded people pissed Josuke right the fuck off. If they managed to get past, “How can a tough guy like you be gay?” and still be standing, which depended on if they’d dared to use a slur and how close Josuke was to his yearly review from the chief of police, the next question was always slandering Koichi’s strength. Usually, the question asker certainly wasn’t standing after that, and even if they were, Josuke just couldn’t tell them about all of the times that Koichi physically kicked someone’s ass with Echoes, because he couldn’t just explain Stands to randoms.  But even without Echoes, Koichi’s heart was strong and proud, and Josuke loved his steadfastness, and the strength of his sense of duty and justice.  Koichi was the only one of them that Jotaro regularly contacted on behalf of the Speedwagon Foundation, after all.  And Koichi’s inner well of determination must be bottomless, because his endless patience during their study sessions got Josuke and Okuyasu through high school and into police academy and engineering college, respectively.  Koichi’s blushed as hard as he had when Josuke kissed him for the first time when Tomoko told him that he was an educational miracle worker.

 As he watched the water and thought about his kewl boyfriend, people passed Josuke on Clover Bridge, some passing so closely that Josuke thought he could see their reflections in the chilly water.  But then a flash of pink caught Josuke’s eye, hair the color of cherry blossoms, and Josuke first thought that Reimi had come back to call on him for some dire Heavenly crisis, but then he noticed the pigtails—

 —And a familiar voice asked, “Josuke-kun, what’s wrong?  What did you see?”

 Josuke’s frantic looks landed on Koichi, bundled in a green down puffer jacket that made him look as small as he had when Josuke first met him.  Koichi hadn’t gotten quite the growth spurt that he had hoped for, but he was only about a head shorter than Josuke now, and Okuyasu had roped him into lifting weights with him “to get ripped and look their flyest when they were riding motorcycles,” never mind the fact that Koichi had about as much interest in riding motorcycles as Josuke had in getting a pet turtle.  Josuke grinned and relaxed.  “Nothing, Koichi,” he said.  “The light was playing some weird tricks, making your hair look pink in your reflection in the water.  I thought Reimi was back.  And you don’t have to call me –kun.”  

 Koichi laughed sheepishly.  “I know, Josuke-k—Josuke.  It’s just a hard habit to break.”  He leaned on the wall of the bridged and peered down.  His regular blonde brushcut stared back at him.  “I’m glad that it was just the light.  I don’t think I could pull off pink hair.”  He glanced at Josuke.  “You could, though.  You could pull off any color, I’m sure.”

 Josuke batted his eyelashes, painted heavily with mascara, at Koichi.  “That sounds like a challenge.  What colors would you put me in?”

 Koichi hummed as he thought before saying, “Grey-green, like a turtle.”

 Josuke scowled. “That was a Rohan answer, you dick. I’m leaving.”  Koichi laughed, though, and took Josuke’s hand, and whatever anger had flared up within him dissipated like fog in the sunlight.  

 “I think you look best in deep purple,” Koichi murmured.  “It suits you, body and soul.”  And what could Josuke do to that except pick Koichi up and kiss him, sweet and long and mirthfully, right there in public?

On Clover Bridge in another Morioh, Josuke slumped against the bridge railing, watching the leaves on the river float underneath the bridge and silently lamenting how short his shirt was as the cold winter air found a way into his jacket to freeze the skin of his stomach.  Yasuho was late for their—date?  Were they dating?  He loved her, he knew that.  The person who found him when he was new and nothing, and the only person who saw him as one hundred percent his own self.  Sometimes, that fact alone made him curl up underneath the mattress late at night and sob, from isolation and grief that he hardly understood, and gratitude that at least one person cared about Josuke Higashikata, the gap-toothed, bicolor-eyed, dapple-skinned boy in the sailor suit who liked large fries and just wanted a safe life to call his own, who was dropped into the middle of something he was doing his best to understand.  Being with Yasuho was easy, because she expected nothing from him except his friendship.  That was not a problem.  He was more than willing to share his time with a kindhearted girl with a surprisingly deep well of determination within her heart.  She took his hand in hers, and the gentle action formed a lump in his throat every time she did.  He had no family, and hers was broken—if a kind woman’s life didn’t hang in the balance of their actions, if Josuke hadn’t been born with a mystery to solve, then maybe they could forge a new life together, somehow, somewhere.

 Yasuho called Josuke “innocent,” and Joshuu called him “ignorant,” with a sneer in his voice that was amplified by the one on his face.  Yasuho told him that the words were similar, but not the same—she always meant “innocent” as a compliment, because although Josuke had a lot to learn about the world, she admired his good judgment and his quick thinking, learning fast and making the right decisions.  Joshuu, she thought, was trying to say that Josuke was willfully naïve, maybe even maliciously so—but Joshuu’s judgment was clouded with selfish, entitled thoughts, and she would much rather spend time with a boy who saw the world clearly, saw it as something fresh and new with no colored lenses.  Well, to Josuke, a lot of the time the world looked pretty rosy.  

 “Josuke~!”  He perked up at the sound of his name, called by a beloved voice.  He started to turn away from the river, but he was distracted for a moment by a clear reflection of what looked like a man lifting a smaller man into the air, embracing him warmly—an enemy Stand?!  But Stands cause definite pressure in the atmosphere, and Josuke felt nothing out of the ordinary.  He turned back to see Yasuho jogging towards him with two big shopping bags, one from a department store and one from the local hamburger joint.  He knew what was in that bag.

 “What were you looking at?” she asked when she got close enough to peer over the bridge.  “Any ducks in the river right now?”

 “No, I saw a weird reflection, like two people hugging.  Do you see it?”  But when Josuke peeked back over the bridge, the water reflected nothing but the cloudy sky above.  

 “Huh,” said Yasuho. “Oh, by the way, what are you wearing under that jacket?  I mean, I’m glad to see you in a jacket, but—”  She reached out and tugged the zipper on the coat down, and Josuke yelped, slamming his hands to his midsection to cover it.  Yasuho gasped.  “That’s what I thought!  Josuke, Merry Christmas.  Put this on.” She reached into the department store bag and pulled out a royal blue sweater.  Josuke shrugged into it quickly, and then Yasuho followed it with a matching set of emerald green gloves, earmuffs, and a scarf.  Soon, Josuke was bundled up against the cold, and that familiar lump had formed in his throat.  Yasuho screamed as Josuke scooped her up and twirled her around like the couple he thought he saw, and she kissed him through the scarf where his mouth was hiding, and Josuke let the tears spill, because Yasuho wouldn’t tease him for crying, either, no matter what.

Another Brick In The Wall

Summary: A high school AU. Why? I don't really know. Probably because I've read a few of them lately just out of curiosity and I can't say I care for how Killian is portrayed. So here's my version. It sort of wrote itself this afternoon. Give it a try, let me know what you think. 

I'm gonna say it's vaguely Captain Duckling-ish even though Emma and Killian are both teenagers. How is this possible, you ask? Read and find out.

Rating: T for now, might go M later on.

Tagging, just in case you might be interested: @teamhook, @resident-of-storybrooke, @wellhellotragic, @let-it-raines, @deathbycaptainswan, @rouhn, @kmomof4, @jennjenn615 @tiganasummertree

Read it on AO3

Chapter 1: 

She noticed him right away, the new face in her school. A face that was a bit too skinny, much like his lanky frame, but the high cheekbones of one and the long limbs of the other hinted at good things to come. His dark hair fell messily across his forehead, and his eyes were the bluest she’d ever seen. When they caught hers, he merely raised an eyebrow at her and turned away. 

Her mouth fell open in indignation. No one turned away from Emma Swan. Not in her school. 

“Who’s the new guy?” she asked Ruby, trying to sound nonchalant. Ruby was the gossip master; she knew everything that went on at Storybrooke High. 

Ruby followed her friend's gaze to the tall boy slamming his locker shut and frowning at his class schedule. ‘Um, his name’s Killian Jones. He’s from England or Ireland or somewhere. His brother’s the new harbourmaster, they just moved here last week.” 

“Killian.” Emma tested the name. It was unusual, but she liked it. It fit him. 

Suddenly she was engulfed from behind by a pair of strong arms, chasing all thoughts of the new boy from her head. “Hey, babe,” said Neal, planting a smacking kiss on her cheek. “Whaddya say we ditch this place and go make out under the bleachers?”

Emma shrugged him off, pushing away from his grasp. “Ugh, Neal, I’ve told you before not to do that. And it’s the first day of school, of course I’m not gonna ditch.” 

He laughed. “You’re such a nerd, Ems.” 

She glared at him. “I am not, I just want good grades so I can go to college. Not all of us have football scholarships.” 

“Neal doesn’t have a football scholarship either, not yet,” Ruby pointed out with a small sneer. She was not Neal’s biggest fan.  

“Only a matter of time, Rubes,” said Neal, with a smug grin. “Coach has scouts coming to the first game, so I just gotta be my usual awesome self and it’s in the bag.” 

He slung his arm around Emma’s shoulders and she took a deep, calming breath, barely managing to suppress the urge to cringe. She liked Neal, truly. They had known each other since kindergarten, and she guessed he was technically her boyfriend, but she hated --hated-- the PDA. He knew that, she had told him often enough, but it never seemed to stop him.

She gave him a tense smile. "I'm headed to Psychology," she told him.

"I'll walk you there." His arm tightened around her shoulders as he steered her away from Ruby and towards her first class. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killian was in her third period English class, though that first morning he was nearly late to it. By the time he appeared in the doorway it was barely a minute until the bell, and the only open seats were in the first row. She could swear she caught an eyeroll, and he seemed to smirk at the class at large as he deliberately sat in the very front and centre. 

Just in front and to the right of where she was sitting. 

He carried a leather satchel instead of a backpack, and when he slung it open to pull out his notebook she noticed an AP Calculus textbook, a slim laptop, and a large pair of headphones. 

AP Calc and AP English, she thought. Who was this guy? 

He seemed to feel her eyes on him and turned to look at her. She resisted the urge to turn away, boldly holding his blue gaze. Emma Swan did not shrink from anyone, not even disconcertingly handsome foreign boys with very blue eyes. He grinned at her, and she sensed respect in it, even as its brilliance made her heart gallop. 

Then the teacher entered the room, and he shot her a wink and looked away. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was in her AP US History class as well, and she heard that he also had AP Physics, French and German, from her friends who were in those classes. She heard that he was taking a Greek class online, from overhearing Miss French, the librarian who was monitoring his studies. She heard he had joined the fencing club from her own father, who coached it. She managed to hear a lot of things about him, eavesdropping and probing for the information as subtly as possible, dying of curiosity but not prepared for her friends or family to know just how much the new boy fascinated her. He was from Bristol in England and he had no family except for his brother, who was ten years older and as Ruby had reported, the new harbourmaster. They had American citizenship through their mother, and after some sort of scandal or disaster in England (no one seemed to know the details) had decided to make a new start in a new country. Killian was sixteen, more than a year younger than Emma, and he should be a junior but he’d already finished, according to Ruby, the British equivalent of a high school diploma and apparently the AP classes were the nearest thing to what he’d be doing if he’d stayed in the UK. 

“If he passes all his AP exams then he can finish high school a year early and start college next year,” Ruby reported. “I’d call him just your average nerd, but Victor and I were at that new coffee shop in Misthaven last Thursday and they had an open mic night. New boy was there, with his guitar.” 

“He plays the guitar?” Seriously?

“Yep, and sings. He’s pretty good. He did a Dylan cover, which, ugh, but then he sang an Irish song too that was acutally kinda great.” 

“Irish? I thought he was English?”

Ruby shrugged. “Irish, English, it’s all the same.” 

Emma was pretty sure that it wasn’t the same at all, but she remembered just in the nick of time that she wasn’t supposed to be interested in Killian, and changed the subject. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time he spoke in English class (he never volunteered to answer questions, but when the teacher called on him he always produced a brilliant answer. Even though he never seemed to do any homework, spending his lunch and free periods on his laptop, with his headphones on) she listened carefully. She was no expert in accents, but he sounded English to her. Like, he wouldn’t be out of place on Downton Abbey. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She looked at the website of the Misthaven coffee shop and made a note of their next open mic. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting as unobtrusively as possible in a quiet corner booth, she watched as Killian sat down on the improvised stage and took out his guitar. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, announcing that he would be playing what he described as “An old Irish folk song with a bit of an update.” He smiled as he said it, and Emma noticed a group of girls she recognised as Misthaven High cheerleaders whispering and giggling at a table just to his right. Before she had a chance to analyse the stab of something she felt watching them, something sharp and unpleasant, Killian began to sing and she was enraptured. 

He was beautiful. His song was beautiful, his voice was beautiful, his eyes were beautiful. And she was fucked. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She snuck out of the coffee shop without talking to him, and banged her forehead on the steering wheel of her car. Emma Swan did not crush on boys, she was crushed upon. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She smiled at him in class on Monday, a deliberate, flirty smile. He raised an eyebrow in response, but the corners of his mouth turned up as well and she felt like she could fly to the moon. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still, he didn’t talk to her. She’d smiled at him every day for two weeks in both their shared classes, had timed her departures so that they walked out of the classrooms together, had brushed up against him in the hallway, laughing and putting her hand on his arm as she apologised, had dropped her pencil and asked him to pick it up then leaned forward and flipped her hair as he handed it to her. She’d tried everything, all the little tricks that would have reduced any other boy in school to a quivering jelly, but Killian simply smiled and responded with the same detatched politeness that he used with all the other girls. 

Like she was just any other girl. 

Finally, she couldn’t take it any longer. “So,” she said, as they were gathering their things after English class. “Are you going to Homecoming?” 

He looked slightly surprised for a moment, then smirked. “No,” he said, and turned to go.

She grabbed her backpack and hastened after him. “What? Why not?”

He turned to look at her, this time with an incredulous expression. “Why on earth do you care whether I embrace ridiculous American high school traditions or not?” he inquired. 

“I’m just curious.” 

“Indeed. But why?”

She shrugged, not wanting to admit how interested she was in him. 

His eyebrow rose again. “Well, then, let me suggest that you mind your own business, princess.” 

She gaped. How dare he speak to her like that? “I’m not a princess!” she protested. 

“Oh, I think you are. Emma Swan, daughter of the town sheriff, niece of the mayor, girlfriend of the quarterback, head cheerleader, most popular girl in school. You couldn’t be more of a cliché of the perfect small-town American princess if you tried.” He started walking again, dismissing her. 

She followed, running to catch up with his long-legged strides. “You know an awful lot about me,” she huffed.  

“You’re hard to avoid.” 

“I know a lot about you, too.” She didn’t know where that confession had come from, but she planted herself in his path and stood her ground. 

He gave her a sardonic smirk. “I doubt that very much.” 

“You’re from Bristol, England, you’re super smart but you don’t make a big deal about it, you love music and you play the guitar.” She counted on her fingers before throwing him a triumphant look. 

“Oh, well done,” he sneered. “I’d almost think I had an admirer. But I’m afraid you missed out on the most important thing about me, love.” 

“Oh, yeah? And what’s that?”

Something flickered in his eyes, something lost and sad, just for a moment before he slammed the barriers down again. “I am just marking time in this town,” he replied, “until I can pass my exams and go the fuck back home.” She gasped at his language, and he smirked, leaning into her space and almost making her gasp again at the electric sizzle she felt at his nearness. “So don’t get too attached, princess.”

They were standing in the middle of the hallway, inches apart and eyes locked, when suddenly he was gone, slammed back into the lockers behind them with Neal’s forearm against his neck. 

“What are you doing with my girlfriend, dickhead?” snarled Neal. 

Killian was unfazed, merely raising a disdainful eyebrow. “Not a thing, mate.” 

Neal removed his arm, but remained close as Killian slowly straightened. He was skinnier than Neal but also quite a bit taller, and he somehow managed to look intimidating as he glared down at the older boy. 

Neal scowled and stepped back, putting his arm possessively around Emma. “You’re new here,” he said scornfully, “so maybe you don’t know how this works. I’m the quarterback—” 

“And you date the cheerleader and get elected homecoming king, yeah, I’ve seen that movie,” Killian scoffed back. “Trust me, mate, I have no interest in interfering or getting involved with you or your girlfriend.”

“Well.” Neal looked mollified, and Emma wanted to smack him. Couldn’t he see that Killian was making fun of both of them? “Okay then. But I still don’t like you.” 

“I still don’t give a fuck.” 

Neal snorted. “Let’s go, Ems, I’ll walk you to your locker.” He steered her away, the arm around her shoulder like iron. 

The last thing she saw was Killian giving her a mocking bow before he turned and headed in the opposite direction. 

Why Do You Like Him?

Helloo~ Can I have something super fluffy with Nam Joo Hyuk? Admin B, you gave me too many feels for him in the last one w/ him and I can't stop :( Thank you so so so much!!! 💗

YAY @wonholdmyheart !!!! Thank you for requesting my boyfriend! I will GLADLY do something super fluffy with him! (Although I’m not going to lie, this didn’t turn out as fluffy as I thought? Let me know if you want another scenario that’s ACTUALLY super fluffy!!!)

Genre: High School!AU/Fluff

Pairing: Nam Joo Hyuk x You

By Admin B

"Hey, you’re best friends with Jisoo, right?” 

You clutched the straps of your backpack as you stood next to Joo Hyuk’s locker, biting your lip and awaiting his answer. 

You and Joo Hyuk were certainly acquaintances (you had a few classes together), but you wouldn’t necessarily say you were friends. 

...Yet.

“Yeah,” he replied, taking his physics textbook out of his locker and sliding it into his backpack. “Why?”

“Well... I was just wondering... He’s not dating anyone, is he?”

You’d had a crush on Jisoo for months now, and you decided today was the day you were finally going to kind of do something about it.

Joo Hyuk froze for just a second, but then he reached up to close his locker door, avoiding your gaze somewhat.

“No, he’s not,” he told you as he slung one strap of his backpack over his shoulder.

You rocked back and forth on your toes, barely able to hold back your excitement at his answer. “Do you think he’d be interested in me?”

Joo Hyuk quirked an eyebrow at you before starting to head to his next class, one he shared with you. So you simply followed him.

“Why are you asking me?”

“Because you’re his best friend! You know him well enough,” you explained. “I thought maybe... you could give me some inside information or something?”

Joo Hyuk stopped walking, abruptly enough so you almost ran into him.

You watched as he very obviously thought about your idea, but you couldn’t gauge his reaction. His expression didn’t seem to give anything away, so you just... waited. Anxiously.

He finally turned toward you and nodded. “Sure.”

A smile immediately came to your lips, and you had to physically stop yourself from squealing with excitement.

It took everything in your power to stop yourself from talking to him or writing him a note during class, but you were able to manage to wait until the end of the school day to start bugging him.

“I have basketball practice with him in half an hour,” he told you as you stood at his locker. “I’ll talk to him and see what he says.”

“You won’t bring up my name, will you?” you asked nervously, brow furrowed.

“Not if you don’t want me to,” Joo Hyuk shrugged.

You nodded and let out a little sigh of relief. But then you realized you didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to hear what Jisoo had said, so you got out your phone. “Here, give me your number so I can text you later.”

Joo Hyuk quietly told you the ten digits, leaning in just a bit so anyone passing by wouldn’t hear. “Send me a message so I have yours, too,” he murmured once you’d made his contact.

You hummed in response before typing out a ‘hey it’s me’ with a smiley face emoji and sending it to him.

“All right, I’ll let you know how it goes,” he assured you with a little smile as he closed his locker.

“Thank you,” you replied, unable to keep yourself from clapping your hands softly with excitement. “Have fun at practice.”

“Thanks,” he chuckled. “See you tomorrow.”

You started on your homework almost immediately after arriving home, wanting to get as much done as possible before Joo Hyuk messaged you about his mission. 

Your heart was racing the whole time you were reading Beowulf, but not because the book was exciting. (It sucked, actually.) You kept glancing at your phone as you completed your physics review for your test on Friday. And then finally, just as you were about to finish your last statistics problem, your phone lit up with a notification.

You grabbed it in a flash, opening the message from Joo Hyuk and reading it. Apparently, Jisoo was most attracted to athletes. But he also knew who you were.

...Well, great. You were far from an athlete.

Wait, hold on.

You pressed the ‘call’ button next to Joo Hyuk’s name, bringing your phone up to your ear.

“Did you say he knows who I am?” you asked, confused.

“Yes.”

“I thought you weren’t going to bring up my name!”

“I didn’t! He saw us talking and just asked about it.”

“Wait, he asked about me? For real?”

“I mean, kind of...”

Your heart started hammering inside your chest, and you couldn’t for the life of you stop a smile from springing to your lips. Okay, this was good. Even though you weren’t an athlete, he still knew who you were. And he asked about you.

You were still too shy and nervous to talk to him, though, so you begged Joo Hyuk to keep giving you information and dropping hints to Jisoo.

The next three weeks were like a fun, but very nerve-wracking game of chess. For you, at least. You strategized your moves - Joo Hyuk’s moves, actually - and you waited with bated breath for what Jisoo would say or do.

You were gradually gathering up the nerve to talk to him, and one Friday, you decided you would do it. There was a basketball game that evening, and you planned to go. You wanted to support your new good friend, Joo Hyuk, of course, but you also were going to find Jisoo after the game and talk to him.

As you took your spot in the bleachers just after the game had started, your eyes scanned the court for Jisoo. You happened to find Joo Hyuk first, though, and he was already looking at you. He smiled and waved, and you wiggled your fingers excitedly back at him. You really did owe him so much; he’d helped you learn more about Jisoo the past few weeks, but he’d also become a really good friend. He made you laugh, and he was probably one of the sweetest guys you’d ever met.

But then you spotted Jisoo, and your heartbeat sped up.

You completely missed the look of disappointment on Joo Hyuk’s face when he noticed.

Even though you had no knowledge of basketball whatsoever, you still found the game exciting, and you had a little too much fun cheering on your friend and your crush. (Plus, Jisoo looked so good in those shorts, oh my god.)

As the timer counted down the minutes, you got more and more anxious. Your heartbeat got quicker by the second, and the butterflies in your stomach grew increasingly larger.

Then when the buzzer sounded, you let out a deep breath.

This was it.

You watched as the team celebrated their win, and you began to slowly make your way toward the parking lot. Joo Hyuk had told you earlier he would make sure Jisoo came out that way, so that’s where you planned to “run into him” and introduce yourself.

You paced back and forth once you got outside, taking deep breaths to calm your nerves. But when the doors opened and some of the players started filing out, you honestly felt like you might throw up. Why was talking to a guy so nerve-wracking?!

You bit your lip when you saw Jisoo exit through the door, and you took a deep breath as you began to step toward him.

But then a hand came to rest on your elbow, stopping you from going any farther.

You jumped a little, startled by the sudden touch, and you turned to see Joo Hyuk.

“Hey,” you said a bit hurriedly. “I was just about to --”

“Why do you like him?” he blurted out.

“...What?”

“I mean, I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, obviously. He’s my best friend. But... Why do you like him?”

You stared at him, extremely befuddled. “Uh... He’s really cute? And funny?”

“...Am I not cute and funny?”

You jerked your head back in surprise, now even more confused. “Well, yeah, but --”

“Then why don’t you like me?”

You just stared at him as he gazed at you, his eyes wide and his eyebrows raised expectantly.

“Like... you? I do like you, you’re my friend --”

“Not like that,” he shook his head. “I like you, okay? I’ve liked you since before you asked me about Jisoo. And I know I should’ve told you earlier. Or maybe I shouldn’t even be telling you at all, but I just...”

He shrugged, finally letting go of your elbow.

“Are you serious?” you asked, now a bit breathless.

He only nodded.

Your gaze flitted over to Jisoo’s retreating form then back to Joo Hyuk. Wait, why was your heart fluttering? Was it because you’d just looked at Jisoo... or because you were now looking at Joo Hyuk?

And suddenly you felt like a horrible person for making Joo Hyuk be your middle man. All this time, he’d been talking to Jisoo for you when he himself had a crush on you.

Your brow furrowed and you pressed your lips together to hide your frown. “I’m so sorry,” you murmured.

Joo Hyuk’s expression immediately fell. “It’s okay -- I didn’t expect you to --”

“No, not that,” you interrupted, taking a step closer to him. “I’m sorry I made you talk to him for me. That... must have sucked.”

“I mean... yeah.”

You weren’t sure why but you had the strongest urge to hug him right now. So you did. You took the few steps toward him to close the gap between you two, sliding your arms around his middle and hugging him tightly.

You felt Joo Hyuk’s hesitation, but he eventually hugged you back.

You smiled to yourself, your heart fluttering and racing like crazy. And those butterflies you’d had earlier? You realized they’d never left. Maybe... it hadn’t been Jisoo who gave you butterflies all this time?

You weren’t sure, but what you were sure about was Joo Hyuk was a beautiful person inside and out. And hugging him right now made you feel happier and lovelier and safer than anything else in the world.

Your mom had always told you the best relationships grew from friendships, and now... you were starting to think maybe she was right.

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