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lynnthefrenchtoast · 2 months

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Lines from "In The Other Universe" that I CANT GET OVER

in which a fanfic writer (me) overexplains her oneshot bc I NEED TO RAMBLE AND MY IRLS FOLLOW ME ON EVERY OTHER PLATFORM SO TUMBLR IS ALL! I! HAVE!

(u should prob read it first this wont make sense otherwise)

"Even though it was not his name, Yin Yu turned"

i dont know if this is a canon scene or not (sue me the books are LONG and hard to buy in my country) but i've read about yin yu getting mistaken for yizhen and getting totally upset. so i decided to start this fic with him being so okay with it that he responds to qi ying's name as if it's his own.

(also because if ur so close to someone, ur nosy abt their business because it also becomes your business) I WANTED TO CONVEY THAT CLOSENESS FROM THE VERY FIRST LINE

"Should I tell Yizhen you can't even recognize me?"

CANON YIN YU IS SO GLOOMY AND HONESTLY WE UNDERESTIMATE HIS POTENTIAL TO BE TEASY. i just know he could be. all hard workers have a sarcastic inner voice

"The man damn near shits his pants"

AHAHHA okay look. i have this tendency when writing to be REALLY PRETENTIOUS AND FANCY. and ive learnt that usually NO ONE GIVES TWO SHITS. compared to genshin, tgcf fanfics are so beautifully written and sometimes i gotta remind this fandom to SPEAK INFORMALLY (unless its qi rong. then. yea. BUT WHO READS QI RONG FICS?)

"The blank wrist that has never known the kiss of cold metal"

I RIPPED MY OWN HEART OUT WITH THIS ONE

"In this universe, he discovers it's such a simple thing to be happy."

proof that quanyin is literally hualian's cousin

the entire earring scene

i am a sucker for qyz's over-attachment to the earrings. ik a lot of ppl think he's like this because its the only thing yin yu ever gave him but NO headcanon that even in the other universe, yizhen would be overly attached because hes a puppy

he xuan scene

canonically, he xuan would NEVER. bc 1) he's too lost in his own ways to ask for advice and 2) it would fuck with his earth master disguise too much. but since it's the other universe!!!! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.

“Yizhen’s victory is my victory,” he declares, with a tone that leaves no room for argument. “His loss is my loss. When Yizhen cries, I am sad. When Yizhen smiles at me, my heart is so full it could burst.” He brings two jade white palms together, interlocking the fingers like entangled limbs on a hot summer morning. “We’re like this. One shared past; one shared future. As a Shixiong, don’t you think rather than being jealous, I’m extremely proud of how far he’s come?”

my favourite freaking line can you tell? IT SHOWS THEIR ABILITY TO ROOT FOR ONE ANOTHER. SHOWS EMPATHY. SHOWS LOVE. ("my heart is so full it could burst") THE RECALL TO THE MORNING THEY WOKE UP TOGETHER, REMINDING YOU OF DOMESTICITY AND SIMPLICITY AND TRUST AND CLOSENESS.

ONE SHARED PAST; ONE SHARED FUTURE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? this is all i ever wanted for them. to be able to grow together and live together and die together. TO HAVE A SHARED PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE.

this line is also loaded to me bc i once wrote a fic called "entangled pasts; estranged future" that wasnt good enough to be posted but GOD IT REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF IT

"Here, he never needs to know the weight of a mask – neither physical not metaphorical."

i dont like how i worded this but IT NEEDED TO BE SAID. YIN YU NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WEAR THE WANING MOON MASK but more importantly NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WEAR A MASK TOWARDS QUAN YIZHEN. NEVER NEEDS TO HIDE RESENTMENT. im shaking with all they couldve been and didnt become.

"Here, Brocade and Immortal are just two words"

hear that? its the sound of me BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AAAAAA I SO DESPERATELY WANT THIS TO BE REAL i mean i understand if they werent so tragic i wouldnt love them as much but IT HURTS! (*100 teehee)

"Sure it will."

i actually hate myself why did i end it like that even in my fanfic i cant let them be happy. huh. i have to subtly hint that this isnt what happens.

its actually so upsetting that the whole fic is so nice and healing and all of it is just overcasted by this knowledge of "its not real. they never get to be this happy. what really happens is they resent each other and leave each other and they become one shared past; two estranged futures."

you can call me insane. im aware no one thinks this deeply about fanfiction and most people are on the site for smut. BUT I THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT IT SO YOURE FORCED TO LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE

#fanfiction #tgcf #quanyin #hualian #heavens official blessing #heaven official's blessing

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blxetsi · 3 years

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armin arlert, mikasa ackerman, and eren jaeger polyamorous headcanons (modern au)

armin arlert x gn!reader, mikasa ackerman x gn!reader, eren jaeger x gn!reader, mikasa x armin x eren x gn!reader

warnings: uhh fluff, this is very long, reader has a gf b4 getting w ema,

this is like my first post since feb that isnt a request 😍😍😍 how did i pull this out of my ass

- obv eren, mikasa, and armin have been besties since childhood so its no wonder they all got together first 🤩🙏

- and theyre all hot so why wouldnt they wanna date each other

- i think armin and eren wouldve gotten together first, and then invited mikasa into their relationship

- the three of them have been officially going steady for like over a year now, and its going really well

- they didnt really expect you to drop into their lives tho

- youre an old friend of historia's and you two reconnected after you moved to the city, securing yourself a decent paying job working as a writer for the city paper

- you usually get the boring stuff, never able to get a good story to write about, focusing your time on heartwarming stories in the community or the sports column

- its boring but it pays the bills

- you were thankful when historia called you during your lunch and asked if you wanted to get drinks at a bar with her and a couple of other friends

- of course you said yes

- so historia and her girlfriend ymir picked you up after work, having dinner with them after a long week was the best, but you were a bit nervous to meet all of their friends

- thats how you met eren, mikasa and armin

- at first you were sure that mikasa and eren were dating, seeing as mikasa had her head on the taller man's shoulder, while his arm was wrapped around her

- but when armin leaned down to give mikasa a kiss before heading off to the bar you werent so sure

- ymir pulled you away to get more drinks and explained to you what the situation was, while commenting on the way you gawked at the three of them before

- you were embarassed to say the least but they didnt bring it up that night so you hoped the throuple didnt notice (they did)

- you really hit it off with all of them though, especially sasha and jean, and were constantly talked about among the friend group

- because of your demanding job dealing with writers block and deadlines you couldnt really meet up with all of them often, usually just having sleepovers at ymir and historia's apartment, the three of you drinking while you wrote on your laptop

- after a couple months of casual hangouts with historia and ymir and their friends, you kinda became one of them too which was nice

- you were added to the groupchat, you all followed each other on social media, and a certain brunet had taken a liking to you

- eren didnt know why exactly he was so attracted to you but he was, maybe it was your hair, or how pretty your skin looked even when oily or with breakouts, maybe it was your smile or your body or your sense of humor or you kindness or maybe it was all of it

- eren jaeger would always stay faithful to his boyfriend and girlfriend, but maybe they could add another person into the mix, more to love right ?

- he had only known you for a couple of months though, he didnt want to jump the gun and bring this up with his partners so soon, especially if they didnt feel the same way he did

- and it would be a bummer if you turned out to be a bad person or smth

- so summer rolls around with lots of memories being made with your new friends, as well as friends from work, and you get a girlfriend ??

- shes not really your girlfriend you two have only been out on a couple of dates and she kisses you a lot but, you havent talked about labels

- one night you, along with your friends are back at the same bar where you first met them

"so, tell us about the girl youre seeing." ymir says, smirking over her beer.

eren's ears perked up at the mention of you seeing someone. "girl ?"

historia nodded. "mhm ! y/n's been talking to someone recently, they've gone on dates and kissed and stuff."

"and stuff, jesus tori you make it sound like we've had sex." you sighed.

the blonde just laughed, leaning her body onto her freckled companion.

"well ? what about her ?" eren asks. armin slapped him on the arm, already having suspicions about eren's interest in you.

your shoulders sagged. "well, she's great and everything, truly..."

"but ? is there a but in this ?" connie asked. sasha started laughing at connie's use of the word but, while jean slapped the girl on the arm because of her reaction.

you shrugged, swirling what was left of your fruity cocktail in your glass. "well, i'm not sure. she's very lively, and sweet. but i don't know, i just don't see myself being able to be in a steady relationship with her."

"so you're gonna end it ?" eren asked. you thought he seemed a bit too eager about your failure in the love department.

"why do you care so much ? you like the thought of me being lonely ?" you shot back, before downing the rest of your drink.

"no i just-"

"i think what eren means is," mikasa intervened, her smooth voice calming you as she looked at you with a smile on her face. "is that there's no point in staying with her if you can't see yourself with her. don't lead her on."

you nodded. "you're exactly right my friend. which is the plan for tonight because i," you quickly checked the time on your phone. 8:17. "have a date with miss molly at nine, so i will be taking my leave."

the group engaged in a chorus of boos for leaving so early, while you chuckled and took the lighthearted insults thrown at you by sasha and connie with ease. grabbing all of your things you put down two twenties onto the table. "i'll see you guys later, have a goodnight." as you walked off you heard jean yell "have a good time you heartbreaker !" making you shake your head

- the date with molly went less then well. she yelled, and cried, and even tried hitting you at one point. your walk back from the park was spent blocking her on every form of social media you followed her on, and when you got back to your apartment you spent the night in a hot bath before retiring to bed

- meanwhile, armin and mikasa were trying to pry the truth out of eren, who was constantly denying his attraction to you

- finally mikasa took one for the team "eren, you aren't alone with the way you feel, i do too." this made eren more willing to open up to his partners

- armin doesnt say anything about you, only saying how youre kind. he doesnt feel the way that his girlfriend and boyfriend do, but he knows that may change

- soon enough, more time flies and christmas rolls around, with you all deciding to have a secret santa get together.

- historia invites everyone to her home on christmas eve, with ymir begrudgingly allowing it

- bertholdt and annie come too, reiner not being able to make it due to going home for christmas, while everyone else decided to stay in the city

- you picked out your secret santas at the beginning of november so you would all have enough time to find something for each other, you hoped whoever picked your name gave you something good

- after hours of games and karaoke and drinking you all decided it was time to open the presents

- ymir got socks from bertholdt, connie got an ugly beanie from ymir, historia got new pens from mikasa, mikasa got knitting needles from annie, annie got a dumbell from eren, jean got a not so appropriate t shirt from connie, jean gave sasha more comic books, armin gave new stationary paper to bertholdt, sasha gifted you that new biography you've been wanting to read and you gave armin your old copy of frankenstein by mary shelley

- he was surprised but very thankful, "how did you know i needed a new copy ?" "well i remember you said eren spilt water on your old one, and the pages just stuck together so i thought you might as well have mine"

- it warmed armin's heart that you remembered something so insignificant, and opened him up to the thought of being with you

- the rest of the night was spent with hugs and thankfulness, cheering when the clock struck 12 and it became christmas day

- after getting things cleaned up everyone decided it was time to leave, with armin, eren and mikasa offering to give you a ride home

- a ride where armin straight up kissed you in the backseat

- you stopped him of course, thinking that it was weird he would cheat on his partners right in front of them, while they were shocked all on their own for different reasons, armin who didnt have feelings for you KISSED you

- and surprisingly armin took the lead in explaining how he felt, why he kissed you, an apology for doing so, and an offer to start dating all three of them

- your heart was pounding in your ears and your entire face felt hot, it was probably the alcohol, or the way his lips felt so soft when they touched yours, so you said yes.

- its not smooth sailing from there

- youre kind of awkward

- this is your first relationship where you really feel like you could love these guys (you already do) but its also your first relationship with multiple people

- the trio start inviting you over more often, soon for sleepovers, and start inviting themselves over at your own place, mainly eren

- he just comes at random times, sometimes when youre not even there and waits for you, or stays and cleans up a bit before leaving

- armin and you share a deep love of literature, and you often find yourselves in hot debates about whatever youve read (mikasa and eren have to pry you two away before things get physical)

- mikasa likes to cook with you, she shares recipes that her mom taught her, and her and armin love to cook dinner together whereas eren is the breakfast maker of the household

- the first time you slept in the same bed as them you were so nervous your whole body thumped to the tune of your heartbeat, you were convinced armin could even hear it as he was laying beside you, but eren wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his large chest before whispering "youre as stiff as a board, relax honey"

- eren snores, mikasa drools, armin has those dreams where you fall and then violently wake up before you hit the ground

- slowly but surely you stop thinking about your relationship as the trio and you, but as all of you together, and that really helps you come out of your shell a bit

- you may still be in the honeymoon phase, and there may be bumps along the way, but you like being with armin, eren, and mikasa. they make you so happy, it feels like the happiest youve been in a long time

- you like watching eren and armin dance in the living room while you and mikasa cuddle on the couch, before the boys pull you two up as well

- you like when armin reads to you, his soft voice reciting the words of the great gatsby

- you like it when eren can just tell youve had a rough day, and pulls you into a hug like hes protecting you from all the bad things in the world

- you love being with them. you love them. and you think that theyre it for you

i rushed the ending bc im fucking tired but i kinda wanna do a poly!series with like sasha, connie and jean, or annie, bertholdt and reiner, or any other poly ships u guys may request !

so yeah pls give me feedback it rlly helps me figure out whether you want a polyamorous series (or just like what i write in general), and it would be my first series ever which would be super cool anyways

yeah requests open for poly!ships anyways

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nomorevanillabeanicecream · 4 years

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no more vanilla bean ice cream

they were out of vanilla bean ice cream, they had vanilla, french vanilla, sweet cream vanilla and cheesecake vanilla, but not vanilla bean, when did everyone all of a sudden get into vanilla bean, everyone was a pig they could not care less about the bean in the vanilla or not, but now apparently everyone was into vanilla bean ice cream because last week there was a full row of umpqua vanilla bean ice cream and now there was none

so I’m waiting in line at safeway with my subpar vanilla ice cream after I had gone on a much needed quarantine run right after spending two hours texting my friend and she was telling me about how google owns all the data in the world and not only has enough data to know me better than myself, but since they know everyone else’s data too, they know my friends data so they know me in context, the whole thing was very depressing so depressing i didnt even want to use a period in my writing anymore because what the fuck was the point of punctuation anyway in this world, i would still be nice and use commas, just to give my fingers a break and be able to get a thought in or so.

i guess i could also accommodate for paragraphs break at visually appropriate times, it didn't matter if it was contextually appropriate or not, i was going to drop a paragraph break because i know people like paragraphs, charles dickens and dostoevsky and jane austen and leo tolstoy never made paragraph breaks that's why no one ever read their books, people just say they read them to seem smart but they never really read them they just knew it was the right thing to say that they were literary geniuses because their books were so long, see people like to lie and say they know the work of a great author even though they only read a few quotes by them, but that was enough to say good and bad things about writers without ever knowing what the hell they did, few understand the theory of relativity but everyone calls einstein a genius.

the thing about quarantine was that at this point i had gotten used to seeing very few people in my life and i was enjoying it so whenever i had to go to the supermarket i had to see all these people and boy were they gross, maybe i would not have seen them as so gross if had gotten my vanilla bean ice cream but i had not so, they were gross, they were all getting so fat, and fat in like weird ways, not like fat on the sides like the michelin tire guy or a cute belly like the pillsbury dough boy or like that kinda funny superfat like homer simpson or peter griffin they were just gross fat, like it looked like they had just been eating garbage and watching netflix fat, like this one guy seemed like if you got a pillowcase filled it up with hot lard and then poked two pool cues on the bottom of it, this other lady looked like a minifridge emptied into a potato sack.

the asses were the worst part, it was kinda hot so everyone was wearing shorts and it was not appropriate when they wear shorts always have that like red line right under the shorts and it does not look that great, the oddest one was the skinny ass but with fat legs, i did not get that one, the person would have no ass mass at all but then the legs were super fat i did not understand what they were doing to get their bodies to look this way, a lot of people were also walking around with wedgies, a lot of people were also walking around in pajamas covered in animal hair and it was gross, its like you have nowhere to go, you are all complaining about not having the right to go out, so when you do go out why not maybe spruce things up, honour life, honour your fellow human, no, screw that we are all going to behave like the whole entire public sphere is a big ass pijama party,

the whole facemask thing, wait before, i start talking about the facemask thing, everytime i start a new paragraph, google is trying to force me into capitalizing the first letter, it doesn't even ask me if i want to capitalize it, it just goes ahead and does it, google is such an presumptuous douche sometimes, now when i write in gmail, it autocompletes all my sentences, great so we can all sound like robots, and it does it like automatically, so i ending having to erase the lame sentence it wrote, i mean i would have probably come up with something similar or exactly the same too, after all there are only so many ways to say goodbye, but id like to think it was my idea, these engineers had no savoir faire, just so you know, so now i hope that everytime you start to read a new paragraph you imagine me hitting the backspace button to delete their fascist capital letters, and its frustrating because im really trying to write as fast as i can, i bet you can tell

see it happened again, and its not that i just have to hit the delete, i have to get my mouse and put my cursor there so it like detects its not just on mistake i am trying to delete their smartass capital letter, so yeah to the facemask thing, the whole facemask thing was pretty dumb, i mean if the facemask was the windshield to the coronavirus i didnt get how casual people were being about, they would just pull it right down under their noise, oh great now you have all your coronavirus on your nostrils, what the hell, i didnt get it, im pretty sure noone in that safeway store had coronavirus, and it was coronavirus not covid19, what is it about us having to find dandy little names for things, it was the coronavirus and thats that, so yeah we were all carrying about these facemasks that if they were really protecting us from the coronavirus lingering in the air then we were being flagrantly irresponsible in our use, but deep down we all felt it wasnt, but we just had to wear one because it was the rule, but we all knew noone in the store had coronavirus

it may sound weird, but i think you know when someone has coronavirus, its like you can just tell, you know like other things you can just tell about a person, i remember i once went up to san francisco about a month ago, and i saw this guy on the muni line headed to the bayview that for sure had coronavirus, he wasnt coughing or anything, but i saw him and i knew he definitely had coronavirus, it wasnt because he was black or chinese or anything, this isnt like a hidden racist joke, i could just tell, i freaked out , and i havent gone up to the city since then, and then, lo and behold they announced that a muni driver got the corona and that the bayview district had the most corona cases in the cities, see sometimes you can just tell

im pretty sure that day i even had the corona on me, i mean i didnt get it, but im pretty sure it landed on my hand, but i washed it before i touched any of my mucous parts, but it was there with me, i dont think it was from the guy on the bus thought, i think it landed from this other guy, i went to a deli to buy water, bananas, coca cola and chocolate and this guy was kinda drunk and talking real loud and coming real close and i could feel the air get really moist when he passed by me and my hand was exposed and i know that at that moment some of it got on my hand, but i didnt panic, i knew i couldnt lose my cool, i had to just play it smooth, and wait till i could get to the studio and wash my hand and everything else, i was really thorough i walked the whole way back to the studio with my hand outstretched so it wouldnt touch my jacket or anything, i could feel it was there, it was for sure there, but i played it cool and washed it and nothing happen, but i was that close

and thats why you have to wash your hands because you could be that close too to having coronavirus, so see im not that crazy, that the reason they recommend us all to wash our hands, because at some point it could be that close to you, and if you don't wash your hand before your touch your eye, boom you got coronavirus, crazy to think that you too could have had coronavirus on you, and you could have, but now i think there isnt that much coronavirus on things anywhere, i think the coronavirus is like hiding or something, i think the coronavirus are like finding their niches and stuff, like if you ask me i think the coronavirus right now is probably somewhere where the sun dont shine, i bet it like flew to a a dirty dive bar that was totally shut down windows boarded and everything, but its there just chilling on the sticky counter, waiting to come back in the summer, i also think it might be at like some nasty to-go food place, like there is this wing place open till midnite around my house, i bet there is a little coronavirus there, but only a little bit, and its like one of the lazy ones, so i dont think it feels like jumping on anyone

at work i have to tell the staff how to wash their hands, i tell them they have to wash on top of their hand, palm of their hand, each finger, in between fingers, under the finger nails, and up to the elbow, but i mean if they have coronavirus, and their touching my food, i think its going to get on the to go box anyway, but its the rules so i play along, i even translated the rules, and told them to sign a paper, the paper also said that they had to wear a facemask, its not like they have multiple facemasks, i mean we are going to give them a few, but its up to them to wash it, one guy asked me if he could use the same one for a few days, i told him no, but i mean even if he washes his facemask before work and then lets say he puts it in his pocket, what if his jacket has corona but his facemask doesnt, itd be a real shame if his corona jacket infected his noncorona facemask, but i saw him and i dont think he had corona anyway

im repeating the same point and the rant is losing steam, so i gotta ramp it back up, or maybe no, maybe its not all just about ranting, maybe i should tell you some good things, like ill tell you about my run, the day was so nice, it was bright and sunny, and thats really all i gotta say, the point that i have more to say about right now is that i feel like im writing like that kid from catcher in the rye, that kid was a real case, i cant say i disliked the kid, but i wouldnt hang out with him, i mean in general i wouldnt be hanging out with high schoolers, but i might hang out with him after he grows up, i think we were all like that kid at some point, and the ones that arent, are soul dead and just go to work and drink craft beer and probably become those engineers without savoir faire that figure out the code to finish my email sentences

but i also feel that i am writing likes james joyce in ulysses, those are two books that i read from cover to cover ulysses and catcher in the rye, all it takes is a good fucked up guy to write something honest and you can get me to finish it, james joyce was all about stream of consciousness, crazy to think that ulysses is regularly named the best book of the century, and it wasnt even that bad of a century for books, it was a crazy book, and it was daring and new to just expose how he felt a person thought, and i mean it was pretty smart, because that is how we think, we jump around and we get nervous and self conscious and horny and we think in simple letters, and our memories associate things weirdly, i mean dante was the best writer of all the time, but i dont know anyone that thinks inside their brain in metered stanzas, if there was such a person, i dont know if id like to meet him, it would be a lot to handle good novels have taught me a lot, they've confused me too, but overall taught me things, see life is a grey thing, like there arent absolute values,

for us human beings, its easy to think of things as black and white, good and bad, yes or no, but thats not how it goes, there is a lot of grey area, and thats why i guess i liked ulysses, see the whole book is about this guy that is roaming around dublin, while he knows his wife is cheating on him, the last chapter is a stream of consciousness from his wifes mind, in which she just goes through her mind thinking about her past lovers and this guy she is cheating on her husband with, and ultimately she feels bad and when her husband climbs back into bed with her, shes like thinking oh there he is again, old leopold, but hes my leopold and she i guess kinda does admit to loving him, life hurts like that sometimes, a woman can still love you but cheat on you, a man can do it too, anyone can cheat on you, but still love you, anyone can hurt you and still love you, its a rough reality, remember i wrote an essay on this book, and the teacher said that i should save it and give it to the woman i marry it was so good, i didnt save it so i guess that wont ever happen, i cant even remember what i said, probably something about forgiveness and the abstract beauty of love, i was only twenty, i could have said anything

i wish i could remember what i wrote though, nowadays a lot of people are walking around with fear of intimacy issues, they are scared to open up to people, you know a lot of people are saying that they have intimacy issues, so i wanted to figure out more, i looked it up on wikipedia and it said there were four types of people, normal people that love themselves and can share intimacy with others, people that think themselves unworthy of intimacy but seek it, people that are scared of being intimate with others out of fear of rejection, and people that have self worth but think others are undeserving of intimacy, i think the whole thing probably comes from parental stuff, that's always the freudian way of looking at things, its kind of a shame because i think people really do like laying in bed and talking comfortably with someone after a wild fuck, when i wrote the essay i didnt have intimacy issues, but i might now, i dont know, and even if i did i dont know what type of of person i am, i guess sometimes people do say some stupid things, and stupid things out of a naked person are the worst kind of stupid things, whatever its wikipedia, anyone could have written, just like the original science study it supposedly based on,

ok this all getting too gooey and it lost its sharp vibe, i think that we were on a roll, when we were on the coronavirus landing places part, but then i get too serious and stuff, i do still want to talk about books i like, you know like thats one of the favorite things english teachers like to do, they like to analyze all the references that an authour made to other books, normally its the bible or the odyssey or some other greek or roman classic, like ulysses was modeled after the odyssey, i remember the teacher always talked about that, ive never read the odyssey or the iliad, ive heard they are great books, but i try not to say it myself, i do say that homer was a great poet though, but i never read his stuff, i mean ive read the first line, but i dont know the whole story or anything, i guess we are all hypocrites at some point or another, i do know however that ulysses was in one of dantes circles of hell, because he was advisor to deceit, the deceit of having that big horse full of soldiers go into to troy, so he ended up in hell, talking about hell that was another book they loved to reference, the bible, the bible doesnt see things grey, they see it black or white, this morning i woke up at four in the morning, and i couldnt get back to bed, so i pulled to a random spot and started reading proverbs, they make it seem so simple, this is good, that is is bad, i wish it were that simple, it used to be that simple like that when i was little kid, maybe it still is but, i just refuse to see it that way

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lovebunnie · 4 years

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fr the poem questions: all of them >: )c

jared... only for you...

the tyger – are you a taker of calculated risks or do you enjoy playing with fire? would you rather ask for permission or forgiveness?

i am a major rule follower, i am not at all adventurous and i like to stay in my comfort zone. my life is a mix of staying true to my comfort zone and doing what I feel is right, first instinct.

i carry your heart with me – do you believe in fate? what’s your secret to living a good life?

i tend to not believe in fate, it tends to make people not take responsibility for their actions and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth; predestination takes away humility from us. and i wouldnt say that im currently living a good life, its getting there but more often then not i would not describe my days as ‘happy’, more so just another day. but to make a day not outwardly bad, i firmly believe in having a really good breakfast in the morning and taking a shower at night. both of those really make my days better.

i wandered lonely as a cloud – what does nature mean to you? where do you feel most at peace?

nature for me is what comes to us instinctively and what we turn to for comfort in trying times. i feel the most at peace either at summer camp or in my bedroom with my cat :3

blackberrying – what were your early years like? do you miss being a child?

my early years were very happy, i was a very happy and funloving child. it was a time where i wasnt told about any of my family drama so i lived in blissful ignorance. i definitely miss being a child, all the way up to about 7th grade. its just been downhill from 8th grade and on.

ode to a nightingale – how do you feel about your own mortality? do you believe in life after death?

my mortality is something of a burden i carry with me everyday, a reminder that every minute is precious and this is the only life i get, i have one shot to not fuck it up. i dont believe in the afterlife, the concept of death is something that if i think too hard about then itll fuck me up.

hope is the thing with feathers – what gives you hope? what would you tell your 10-year-old self?

hope comes from those news stories about good news, like charity donation goals being hit and remembered anniversaries and flower bouquets in public, there is good in the world and sometimes its hard to find but its always there. to my 10 year old self, i would tell her to not hold too tightly to those around you, and that life constantly changes so dont get too attached or comfortable because itll prevent you from growing in the future.

the road not taken – do you find it hard to make decisions? what regrets do you have?

its really hard to make decisions because i always assume that my ideas are wrong or bad so if someone else takes the lead, i cant be blamed. as far as regrets, i wish that in my past, i just put myself out there more. i couldve spent highschool actively seeking for possibilities instead of sulking and wishing they came to me. they dont ever, you have to find them.

still i rise – what's your relationship with yourself like? what are your best qualities?

i have a bad relationship to myself; if i admire one trait about myself, the other traits must be less than. for example, if i think i look nice one day, then i remember abt my grades or my writing and how much i hate both of those. i can never be fully at peace, it will never be enough to sate my psyche. my ‘best’ qualities depend on the day, right now i think i have nice eyelashes.

howl – can you express yourself freely? do you feel smothered by societal norms?

i struggle everyday to be my genuine self. its not so much societal norms but my own mind; i want to look nice but i dont want to attract too much attention. i want to be remembered but not for how good my ass looks or whatever. my biggest fear is that people see me as something desirable but only sexually so i want to dress how i feel but i cant because im terrified of the gaze of men on my campus.

the raven – are you in touch with your feelings? how would you describe the relationship between emotions & rationality?

im extremely in touch with my feelings. i can acknowledge when i am angry or sad or happy, even if i dont know why. i allow myself to feel my feelings and then let them pass, i hate bottling those things up. between emotions and rationality, i use my emotions 9 times out of 10. i ask myself, ‘what do i want?’ and the first thing i come up with, i know is what i truly want to do.

sonnet 116 – how do you define love? what qualities do you look for in a significant other?

i think love is everything; its the warmth of hanging out with familiar people, its when people remember facts about you, its a meaningful hug and its ‘this reminded me of you’. its different for everyone but i feel love in everything i do. in a significant other, the biggest thing is being able to make me laugh, if youre funny than im sold.

to autumn – what's your favorite season and why? what cherished memories do you associate with that season?

my favorite season is winter because it has lots of holiday warmth, good food, pleasant childhood memories, and comfortable clothing. also i love snow. i have very vivid memories of a blizzard in maryland when i was 11(?) years old, my neighbor tied a sled to the back of his ATV and dragged us around the cul de sac, it was so much fun!!

the waste land – do you like big cities? if you could choose any place on earth, where would you settle down?

i love big cities, they evoke so many feelings of love and the atmosphere being surrounded by people makes me so happy! if i could live anywhere, i think it would be san francisco, i love the city and the weather and the public transportation!!

o captain! my captain! – what are your aspirations in life? what motivates you?

in life, i want to give a tedtalk. i would also love to publish a book but i dont like what i write so if i ever did, id end up hating the book anyway in a year or so. i want to teach people the joy of public speaking and i want to give kids the joys i had given to me by my teacher when i was their age. my motivation comes from, this has to be done and if no one else will do it, it might as well be me. i have the passion and everything else will follow after that.

she walks in beauty – what's your aesthetic? how would you describe the relationship between inner goodness & outer beauty?

id describe my aesthetic as lovecore, i love the color pink and red and hearts and flowers and teddy bears and dresses and sparkles and valentines day and i love everything stereotypically ‘cute’. and i feel there is no outer beauty without inner goodness, if someone has bad intentions or a rotten core, their outward appearance will reflect.

one art – how do you deal with loss? do you write diary entries, poetry or prose?

thankfully i have not had to go through tremendous loss in my life but when i feel an emotional loss or general low point, i tend to move towards art, aimless doodling to take my mind off of situations. it centers me.

work, sometimes – how does your favorite weather make you feel? what is happiness to you?

my favorite weather makes me feel SO happy, all smiley and giddy and like things are going to be okay, just for one day, i will make this a good one. happiness to me is comfort and joy, its something that makes you laugh until your sides hurt and its art that you look at and feel. happiness isnt a huge moment, its little moments scattered throughout the days.

acquainted with the night – do you think there's such thing as the right time? what’s your outlook on the world?

no, i dont like to set things off for the thought of there being a right and wrong time. time isnt real and we only have so long on earth so there is no time but the present. go get that tattoo, ask them out, eat that snack. my outlook on the world is that there is a lot of bad shit but there is also a lot of good shit you will never see but it important nonetheless. you cant change the world in a day so you might as well take it one day at a time, working everyday to make it as good as possible.

if – do you daydream a lot? are you volatile, or do you stay calm when conflicts arise?

i love to day dream, it helps me determine what i really want and its a lovely distraction when the goings get tough. i try to avoid conflicts in every situation possible but if i were pushed, id either accept my mistake and apologize and work towards a better future; or i would tell the other person how im feeling and what i can do to help them feel better.

what would i give? – do you cry often? if you could change anything about your past, what would it be?

things make me sad but rarely enough to cry, things more so tend to weigh me down then break me. i let the sadness take me however it sees fit. and if thats to cry, so be it. if i could change anything about my past, i would just say that you will only get this chance to start over in a new state once, the years will go by quick so to TAKE OPPORTUNITIES WHEN THEY SHOW THEM SELF TO YOU!!!!!!

#adoration #rockcandey #stan tag #this took so long

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merlins-tits · 5 years

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ok my grand idea for a fic came to me when listening to Harry Styles’ album...basically Harry Potter writes the songs on this album and sings them and I can’t write so i’m just gonna give all the details for it without putting the work in

(feel free to write something with this)

- eighth year (because, duh)

- hermione plans an inter-house unity party

- everyone picks a slip of parchment out of a hat and they have to do what the slip says at the party (things like wear fishnet tights, or only talk in an american accent, or show your favorite spell in front of everyone, or challenge someone to a duel but you can only use first-year defense spells)

- she rigs it because she’s a sneaky bitch but she doesn’t know what each slip will say

- basically, everyone has to do something that they’re afraid of but if they don’t, there’s a punishment at the bottom of each slip

- (ron’s slip finally gets him to ask hermione to move in with him after hogwarts)

- harry reads his slip and freaks the fuck out because “hermione what the hell you’re going to make me fucking SING in front of all of them??? sing songs that I wrote????? in front of MALFOY and all of the slytherins who are no doubt going to make my life miserable for it????”

- hermione is like oh shit I thought you would just have to tell everyone you were bi finally

- fast forward to the party and harry is sweating and so nervous and he hasnt shown anyone his songs BUT hermione because she pestered him to after they saw his slips and the songs made her cry

- they’re in the room of requirement which gives each student an easier way to perform their “dare”

- ron asks hermione, she says yes, then she tells him in front of everyone that she has a fantasy that the two of them fuck in the restricted section, ron goes bright red, blaise zabini screams “oh FUCK yes,” seamus slaps ron on the back and says “congrats, mate! make sure you don’t get any...bodily fluids on the books or they’ll start screaming and pince will come out and see you with your dick out”

- everyone wonders why seamus knows this, he gears up, pulls his slips out, a soapbox appears, he steps up, clears his throat, and in his best professor snape voice, says, “i, seamus finnegan, instead of attending the halloween feast in fifth year, snuck into the restricted section and wanked over a potions book by the name of, ‘Love Erotica,’ which informs the reader all about love potions. not only do you get new information on how to spot a love potion, but you also get to see potions that make breasts grow double the size...with pictures. madam pince found 15 year old me with my dick out over a drawing of tits. thank you, and 1,000 points from gryffindor to being a nasty and horrid child.”

- he bowed, the whole room went crazy, and seamus was known as the wank king for the rest of the year

- meanwhile, draco is going around to apologizing to everyone in the room who he had wronged BUT he had to finish with harry

- right as draco is gearing up to go to harry, harry steps up onto a mini stage, pulls out the guitar he found in sirius’ old room, sits on a stool, casts a mild sonorus over the guitar and his voice, and says “er, hi. my slip told me I had to sing and play some songs for you guys, and I, um, I wrote some of them this summer and finished some a couple of weeks ago..”

- everyone is staring at him wide-eyed and in shock (draco especially) hermione is smiling and has tears in her eyes

- “alright, er, I'm gonna start” harry looks up to see draco near the stage, and he starts to play

- “And oh we started Two hearts in one home It's hard when we argue We're both stubborn I know, but oh

Sweet creature, sweet creature Wherever I go, you bring me home Sweet creature, sweet creature When I run out of road, you bring me home”

- everyone is shocked because harry has a soft, but husky voice and it pulls you in. no one knew he was musically talented

- draco is absolutely in awe and you can see how he feels so obviously by the look in his face

- harry finishes, everyone claps and shouts, hes bright red, ron is thumping him on the back, hermione is hugging him and telling him how proud she is, but draco is just stuck and he cant stop staring because harry is so so beautiful and how did he not realize this sooner

- harry steps up and says he has one more song to sing because his slip said he had to sing the two songs he was most nervous about

- everyone wonders why he sang sweet creature, he blushes, then everyone is trying to figure out who its about

- he starts to sing a more upbeat song called “medicine”

- “Tingle running through my bones, fingers to my toes Tingle running through my bones The boys and the girls are in I mess around with him And I'm okay with it I’m coming down, I figured out I kinda like it And when I sleep I’m gonna dream of how you tasted If you go out tonight, I’m going out ‘cause I know you’re persuasive You got that something, I got me an appetite; now I can taste it We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh La la la la la You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh”

- everyone is dancing, draco is stuck on “I mess around with him and I'm okay with it”

- pansy comes up beside draco and yells out “hey potter! did you just come out?”

- harry looks up sheepishly and says “uh, sort of”

- pansy says “gay?”

- “no, bisexual”

- “nice, me too”

- everyone loses their shit because two of their classmates just came out as bisexual when everyone thought they were 100% straight

- draco thinks ‘fuck it’ and rushes up to harry, apologizes for being a dickwad to him for the past 7 years, tells him he has an amazing talent and...

- “potter you’re the most beautiful fucking person I've ever seen” and proceeds to kiss him

- everyone is silent

- they break apart and instead of looking shocked harry says “finally figured it out, huh? I've been flirting with you all year and you dont seem to be able to get it through your thick skull. which song gave it away? I wrote them both with you in mind.”

- hermione squeals, pansy and blaise are like “what the fuck what the fuck draco how did you not know he was flirting with you it was so fucking obvious you fucking idiot”

- draco is like “I didnt even realize I was gay until 10 minutes ago!”

- “you fucking idiot weve known since you were 12 and wouldnt stop talking about potter”

- everyone is still losing their shit and I dont even remember where I was going with this I think it was a fever dream

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sidespromptblog · 5 years

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Hello, do you mind making something with Logan and Deceit, fluff preferably? Still, anything would be great, all your writings are so enjoyable ^_^ Thank you very much and have a good day!

(Sorry for this being so late, I hit a dry spell with my writing. But even so, I hope that you enjoy this, its got a touch of hurt/comfort but its fluff in the end!)

“What aren’t you doing out here? At this time of night?”

Cracking his eyes open Logan blandly stared back in the direction that the voice had come from, he wasn’t all too surprised to see Deceit standing there his back facing the bathroom from which the light blanketed him and cask an imposing shadow where he stood. Although, that imposing shadow was slightly lessened by the green facial mask that was smeared all across the left side of the dishonest sides face, and even more so by the bright green pajamas that Deceit wore complete with lemons dotting the fabric in every which way. Had he not been so tired Logan would have snorted out loud at the sight of it, but instead, a tiny smile cracked its way onto his face before he pressed his lips together in a thin line to ward off the peels of laughter that wanted to bubble up out of his chest.

Deceit’s eyes narrowed, so the smile clearly wasn’t helping his case any. Not that he had been trying all that hard to begin with.

“I…” He groaned as soon as he sat up, his aching back screaming in protest at the action, and for a split second Deceit shifted forward before he froze where he stood. His self-preservation battling with his natural instinct to remain the bad guy, clearly. “I could not sleep, so I came out here to find some solace. Although..” Logan’s eyes darted down to the book that had fallen from his fingers, it’s pages were a complete mess and he’d really need to straighten them up before he put the book back on his shelf. “I happened to accidentally fall asleep while reading.”

Deceit nodded his head like one of those bobble head figurines as his gaze darted away from Logan and towards the darkened kitchen, it was well past dinner time. Evident by the fact that all of the pots and pans had been washed and put on the drying rack, the food that the others would have eaten were most likely in the fridge wrapped up all neatly for anyone who needed a midnight snack.

Or…

“So what are you doing up so late? I don’t mean to presume anything about your sleeping habits, lest you point out my own. But…” Deceit felt every muscle in his body stiffen as soon as Logan pushed his glasses back up the smooth curve of his nose, the way that the logical side was looking at him said everything. There was a look of concern and…confusion written all over Logan’s face, and never more so than now did he want to ignore it and shoo it away with his own evil actions.

Perhaps just a simple flex of his hand, to make that look of concern go away, or..or he could just cackle. After all, he wouldn’t need to silence the other again if he just felt that he was something to be feared, there would be no need for actions. At least not that threatening.

Opening his mouth, a sneer curled on Deceit’s lip like a worm scorching under the heat of the summer sun.

“You don’t need to lie to me,” And almost immediately the scornful words died on his tongue before they even had a chance to begin, “It’s not like I am the kind of person to tell on you to Roman…” A beat of silence passed between them, as Deceit’s fists clenched and unclenched, still allowing Logan to freely speak his mind and everything that came with it, before… “or Virgil.” A bitter sensation welled on Deceit’s tongue at Anxiety’s name, and even more so at the thought of the ex-dark side finding him here, or even just..confronting him here. Would Logan tell him? He said that he wouldn’t wake him, but he gave no promise to telling him about their encounter once the anxious side woke. Virgil would certainly be angry if he knew that he was here, with one of his precious friends of all things. He’d threaten him perhaps..and he’d never be able to sneak through here as he once did.

He’d…be locked out.

“Please don’t tell him,” The words of desperation left his lips before he even had a chance to think them over, and he could only watch as Logan blinked in pure surprise before a sympathetic but understanding smile curled onto his face. It was a nice smile, if only it was under better circumstances. “I’m here because..because…” The hem of his pajama shirt fumbled between his fingers, and yet that understanding look didn’t leave the logical side’s face. No matter how long it was taking him to come out with the truth, “I didn’t eat tonight..or this afternoon..or this morning either. I didn’t even eat yesterday, because…”

Logan’s shoulders straightened in an instant, as all traces of exhaustion fled his face. There was a look of seriousness on his face, a look that Deceit could only ever recall being on the receiving end of, only this time it wasn’t aimed at him. It was aimed at an enemy that he let alone Logan couldn’t see, a part of him felt delighted in the way that Logan’s eyes lit up with an icy cold flame as his the muscles in his jaw strained the moment that his teeth ground against one another. Nobody had ever been angry for him, it was unprecedented.

Unprecedented…but enthralling nonetheless.

Logan’s Adam’s apple bobbed as the logical side swallowed thickly. “You need food?” He carefully asked, gauging Deceit’s every reaction no matter how minuscule. He certainly wasn’t lying, Logan was damned certain of that. More certain than he’d ever been in his entire life, and watching Deceit nod his head in a rather monotone confirmation he had only one thing to say to the dishonest side who looked more awkward standing there than ever. “Sit.”

Surging up to his feet, he saw only wariness from the other side, or at least before he gestured to the empty loveseat that a mere hour ago he had just been asleep on. Out of all the ways that he was reacting, he was sure that Deceit could never have expected this.

“Sit.”

That was the only word that registered within Deceit’s mind as his body mindlessly stumbled over to where Logan had just been sleeping, and it was the only word he heard again as his legs folded out from under him and he found himself sitting on the squishy couch cushions that had until a few seconds ago held Logan. He really didn’t even know what to think of this, out of everyone the logical side had always seemed like the less likely person to listen let alone care about whatever was going on with him. And yet…here he was, flicking on the kitchen lights and cooking what smelled like soup for him, when he really hadn’t asked him to do so. It really seemed like something that Patton would do, or..or something that Virgil would have done if they had still been friends.

But no, it was Logic.

It’s Logic. That was the only thing he could think as he looked back at Logan as he carried the bowl full of steaming broth back into the living room.

“I apologize,” Logan began with an almost sheepish grin, as he offered the warm bowl to Deceit’s waiting hands. “I’m not the best at doing anything outside of baking, so I warmed up some chicken noodle soup from a can. It’s best to stick to liquids if you haven’t eaten in a while, no use in you getting sick all over the place.” For the longest moment, Logan just watched as Deceit stared into the warm broth. The dishonest side didn’t make even a single movement to pick up the spoon, the frozen look of abject shock was written all over his face made Logan’s stomach twist uncomfortably for a moment.

At least until Deceit’s hand moved, it was slow at first, as if the dark side in front of him was living his life in slow motion, or in the very least trying to wade through molasses. But eventually, he grasped the spoon, although he didn’t yet bring it to his mouth, not until his eyes darted up locking onto Logan’s.

“Will you read to me? As I eat?”

Logan’s throat seized, and in that moment between them, if he were able to feel such things, then Logan surely would have allowed himself to cry at the question. It had been…far too long since one of the sides had wanted him to read to them, too boring, not fantastic enough, or..something to be listened to only when they wanted to get to sleep fast. But even so, Logan found himself blinking back tears as he settled onto the loveseat right next to Deceit, who was slowly spooning the warm soup into his mouth.

“Of course, anything for you,” Logan whispered, and he meant every word.

#logan sanders #logic sanders #ts deceit #sympathetic deceit #deceit sanders #platonic loceit

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negasonicimagines · 5 years

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Gladdest (Soulmate AU)

For this, I’ll be using the soulmate AU where what happens to your soulmate’s body happens to you. I’m not sure who originally came up with this. Basically, how it works, is like, if your soulmate gets punched in the face, you feel like you’ve been punched in the face. If your soulmate dies, you don’t die, but you feel it. Same with broken bones, you’ll feel it, but your arm won’t actually be broken. But not just pain, other stuff. Like if your soulmate cries, you’ll feel it, but you don’t cry unless they’re super heartbroken, or if they get a really good hug you feel it, too. In my version of this AU, the pain and other feeling doesn’t start until you turn sixteen. Imagine how fucked up it would be if that wasn’t the case and you had a partner older than you? Like, while 13-year old Bill gets in a fight, his soulmate, who is only 3, feels the same punches and kicks. It’d be so fucked up.

warnings: nsfw (but no actual sex, just a lot of talking about it [and masturbation] and some sexually tense scenes), the reader nearly has a panic attack (again, i know, sorry. what can I say? I project), & reader has a thing for.... erotic asphyxiation. let me know if i missed anything.

I am very open to writing a part two with smut... I just chickened out with this because I felt it wouldn’t be good writing.

You’d been sixteen for a little while now, and there hadn’t been much contact from your soulmate aside from the occasional feel of a phone falling on your face and smacking it.

It’s the beginning of a new school year at Xavier’s, and you’re pretty thrilled. Your roommate this year is your best friend, Ellie. Okay, not just your best friend, she’s your crush, too. Do I really have to say, at this point?

“Hey,” she greets you, sounding rather sullen as she enters your dorm, where you sit on the edge of your bed.

“What’s up?” you ask.

“I turned sixteen over the summer and I haven’t felt anything to give me a hint. All my soulmate does is cry.”

“All my soulmate does is drop their phone on their face,” you offer a complaint in return, and the two of you lock eyes for a moment, one of realization.

“No,” Ellie says. “No.” She’s bright red, immediately thinking of just how many hot summer nights she was kept up, orgasm after orgasm after orgasm, gasping for breath at the way her soulmate’s fingers curled just right, just fucking right. There’s no way you, her crush and her best friend, were that good.

“No, can’t be,” you agree.

“Could be,” she reminds you.

“It’d make sense,” you admit.

“I hate everyone else but you.”

“We could try to find out,” you suggest.

She pinches herself.

“Ow! Not like that!” You whine, clutching at your arm. “Oh, well, I guess it’s too late th-” Ellie cuts you off with her eyes alone.

“Where does all that energy come from, Y/N?! What are you, the Energizer bunny?! At least three times a night, every night! What the hell?!”

You blush deeply, scratching the back of your neck. You hadn’t exactly expected you’d meet your soulmate anytime soon, or that they’d be bold enough to comment on your habits.

“I dunno, I thought it was normal for kids our age…” you mumble.

“Oh, yeah, well some people like sleeping and not screaming into the pillow because their soulmate has a little too much fun doing the five finger shuffle!”

“Please, louder. I think a few people in Antarctica didn’t hear you,” you retort, looking up at her from where you were sitting with a challenging expression.

“We’ve been friends for all this time and I never knew what a horny bastard you are,” she remarks.

“Well, I’m not the one who was ‘screaming’ in pleasure,” you mutter.

“I heard that!” she says, her expression still adorably indignant.

“If you hated it so much, you should’ve just got those over the counter meds, Antifel or whatever.”

“I- I…” She sighs. “Yeah, I didn’t hate it that much,” she admits, and you smile a bit. “But I wasn’t a fan of the choking,” she adds, gesturing at your scarf, your favorite one that she never would’ve guessed hides the bruises from where you’ve choked yourself with a belt, at least not before. “I’m more of a choker than a ‘chokee’, but, I guess that’d be obvious, wouldn’t it? Considering we’re soulmates and all.”

You nod, your eyes now on your lap, the floor, her tee shirt, the lamp in the corner, anything that isn’t her eyes, and she smirks.

“Oh, so now you’re shy?”

“A little,” you quietly reply, and she sits next to you on your bed.

“Let’s cool down,” she offers. “We’ve just seen each other after months of purely texting and the occasional phone call.”

“Thanks,” you respond, finding it easier to breathe.

“Why were you crying so much?” Ellie asks, addressing her original observation.

“Just depressed and lonely and stuff. I don’t have friends in my hometown, not like you.”

“You’ll always have me,” she says. “I mean it.”

“I’d hope so, soulmate,” you laugh off the seriousness of the conversation, and she sighs, looking to your eyes with her own soulful ones.

“I’m glad it’s you,” she tells you. “I don’t think I’d be able to stand anyone else.”

“Yeah, right!” you huff out a laugh, confused at her sudden emotional openness. Sure, she was more honest about her feelings with you than anyone else, but that didn’t mean that she was a completely open book. Who was?

“You’re not disappointed, are you?” Ellie wonders because of your remark.

“God, no! I- I actually have a really big crush on you,” you admit.

“Yeah?” she asks, the cutest little grin on her face, you know the one. “I have a crush on you, too.”

You blush again.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m not very good at flirting or anything like that. I don’t really care about much of anyone at all, and you’re definitely the only person I’ve really cared about in a romantic way, so…”

“No, it’s not that! I- You- You being really good at flirting is what’s got me like this. And the fact that I’m a dork who’s really bad at flirting contributes,” you explain.

“I am? Good at flirting, I mean.”

“Well, with me, at least,” you tell her.

“Um… Sorry if it’s lame to ask, but… Can I kiss you?”

“Of course! And it’s not lame to ask at all, El, I appreciate it actua- Mmf!”

You could live forever in the feeling of her lips on yours, her hands oh-so carefully holding your cheeks.

“Sorry,” she shyly says, as she slowly pulls away from you, looking in your eyes. “I’ve just been wanting to do that for a really, really long time. Pretty much since we met, actually.”

“R-really?” you ask, a bit breathless and definitely still flustered.

“Yeah, you’re perfect. In, like, every way. It’s the worst and the best.”

“I’m perfect?! But you’re- You’re you!” you argue, and she shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “I’m so lucky.”

“No, I’m the lucky one,” she disagrees.

“We can both be lucky,” you tell her, and she sighs.

“I suppose that’s a good compromise,” she decides. “So, what should we do before dinner? We’ve got a couple hours to kill, but I don’t think either of us has much more to say that wouldn’t be repetitive or… Something.” She blushes again, cheeks bright pink.

You blush back, reminded that she knew all about you and the things you did to yourself behind doors. “R-right,” you reply. Hey, you may be a horny motherfucker, but that doesn’t make you any less of a bottom.

“Can I see?” she asks, touching at your scarf. You nod, and she unwraps the scarf. She carefully touches the spotted bruises with her fingers. “With the belt you’re wearing?”

You can’t even speak. You nod, and the ghost of a smile graces her face before she just barely presses her lips to the bruises closest to her, on the side of your neck. Your hand quickly grabs her bicep tightly, and she stops, looking to you with concern.

“I’m so sorry, I got a bit carried aw-”

“No, no, it’s good, I’m just… Sensitive there,” you admit, and one of the biggest smiles you’ve seen her wear is on her lips.

“Yeah?” she asks, taking her crossbody bag off of her shoulder and opening it. She takes out a bottle of Antifel pills. “How sensitive?”

“Oh God, um… I- Um…” Your nerves are really getting to you, and your breathing gets heavier as you stare at the bottle. This is really happening. It’s really happening. You’d always wanted to, especially with her, but now that it’s a reality, you feel on the brink.

Ellie can recognize that look in your eyes, and it’s a look she’d hoped she’d never be the cause of.

“Shit, Y/N. What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“I- Um, I just- I want to? But I- I just- I don’t know, it’s just getting really hard to breathe, and uh, not in a hot way,” you joke nervously.

“Hey, you can want to and not be ready to right this minute. We haven’t even been on a date yet, okay? I’m really sorry if I made you feel like you had to do anything you didn’t want to,” Ellie tells you, and she feels immensely guilty either way.

“No! I liked you kissing me, especially where you did, but, you’re right. We should probably adjust to the news and put a label on whatever this is before we do anything too serious.”

Ellie nods. “You always were the more logical one. I’ll put these in the medicine cabinet and we can just… Talk about stuff, like we always do.”

“But with more kissing and cuddling, I hope?” you request, and she nods, going to put the bottle away before returning to find you bundled up in her comforter. “It’s so cozy…” you practically sing, at least to her.

“This is a dream,” she sighs happily, slipping off her shoes and joining you in her bed. You spoon her side, and she hums in content, stroking your hair.

“You’re in a good mood,” you comment. Ellie is not a very cheerful person, at least not openly. So, to see her like this was surprising.

“Yeah, of course I am. It’s you. It’s really you. I’ve never been happier in my life,” she says, having really been hit with the fact that you’re her soulmate. All hers. “All mine…” she hums.

“You really know how to make a girl feel special… I mean it. I’m really not all that.”

“Please be my girlfriend,” she requests.

“Only if you’ll be mine,” you reply, and she scoffs.

“I think that’s how that works, babe.”

Your heart skips a beat and you stare at her in wonder.

“Sorry for not asking if pet names were okay…It’s just something I like, it’s really stupid.”

“No, I really like it, hence the dumb stare and the lack of breathing.”

She chuckles, holding you tighter. You smile with her, glad that she’s happy.

“I hope you don’t feel like you have to over-exaggerate how happy you are. It’s okay if you’re not ridiculously happy about finding your soulmate.”

“Oh, no, I’m as happy as I sound. I’m, uh, definitely a textbook case of Lesbian That’s A Grumpy Bitch Til She Gets A Girlfriend. But then again, I’ll probably just be a significantly less grumpy bitch to everyone but you, sorry.”

“I don’t mind, I like you being your bitchy self,” you reply, being rewarded with a kiss placed atop your head that sends tingles dancing down your body. “Mm… I like that.”

“Good,” Ellie responds. “I’m glad.”

“I’m gladder,” you tease.

“I’m gladdest...”

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hysterialevi · 5 years

Text

Abraham - A RDR2 Fanfic

Fanfic summary [NO SPOILERS]: Lyle Morgan and his eleven-year-old son have a conversation about Beatrice’s death, only for the boy to witness a second one.

Warning(s): Mild language

Author’s note: Bear with me if not everything in this story is correct. I’m not entirely sure where Arthur’s originally from (all I’ve heard is that he’s from somewhere in the north), so I just made something up lol. Also, this fic will only be one part. Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

From Lyle’s POV

A FOREST SOMEWHERE IN MONTANA

SUMMER, 1874

Strollin’ through the tall, thick grass, I led my mount around the forest at a casual pace while my son sat on top, consumed by his journal as always. It was an hour or two before midday, and right now, there was a radiant blanket o’ sunshine bathing the entire forest, painting everything with a golden tint. It was beautiful, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day out here...but this feeling of annoyance just wouldn’t stop naggin’ me, and I knew exactly why.

I briefly glanced over my shoulder, peering at my son as he scribbled something down in the weathered pages of his journal.

A quick sigh escaped me.

I didn’t know who the hell Arthur got his interest in art from, or why Beatrice even bothered buying him that book, but that child just couldn’t seem to take his eyes away from it. Every time I came across the boy, he was always scratchin’ down some fantasy world of his, or creating images of a utopia I ain’t ever seen. It was pointless.

He spent more time daydreamin’ in that book than he did playing outside, or hunting, or fishing -- hell, he didn’t even know how to read -- and yet, Beatrice seemed perfectly content with it.

Or at least...she did.

Beatrice weren’t around no more. She was killed by bandits a few months ago. Robbed. Left on the side o’ the road for the crows to feed on. But Arthur didn’t know that. Sheriff told him it was a wild animal that took her. A wolf, to be exact. And he believed him.

I dragged a hand down my face, suddenly feelin’ exhausted just thinking about it.

Had I done the right thing, not tellin’ Arthur the truth about his own mother’s death, I wondered? I figured the kid didn’t need to know the morbid details, or even the entire truth, but I still felt like a piece of shit for not revealing the full story -- especially considering that them bandits who killed Beatrice...killed her ‘cause of me.

I had stolen something from them. Somethin’ valuable. And before it fell into their dirty hands, that “something” apparently belonged to a rich plantation owner who really wanted it back. Ended up gettin’ one of the bandits hanged, and left them thirsty for revenge. But they didn’t have the strength to go after the plantation owner. So, they came after me instead.

They chased me for quite a while. They chased me across the mountains, across the swamps, across the goddamned snow...until finally, they came to their senses and realized there were much better, more convenient ways of hurtin’ me. And thus, their paths diverted to my wife and son.

Those bastards managed to corner her while she was ridin’ to town to do some shopping. Found her on some secluded road between here and the nearest settlement, and ensured she would never return. That was when Arthur went lookin’ for help to find his missing mother hours later, and the sheriff assured him a wolf had gotten to Beatrice.

Christ. I really was a terrible father, weren’t I? Not only did I pay more attention to a bottle o’ whiskey than my own wife, I had also neglected Arthur for years on end, and indirectly gotten his mother killed. And the boy was only eleven.

He had spent half of his life not knowing a damned thing about where his daddy was, or even what he did, only to lose the one parent he already had before he could find out.

Lord...there had to be some way to make this up to him.

I looked back at the boy, suddenly feeling an urge to say something -- anything -- to him.

“Arthur,” I called out, catching the kid’s attention as his head perked up from behind the journal’s pages, “put that damned book away for a moment, will you?”

The boy hurriedly marked his place in the journal with a pen and shut it closed, resting the object on the saddle’s surface as he hung his head low in shame.

“...Sorry, sir.” He murmured.

I shook my head, lettin’ out a concerned breath.

“You spend far too much time in that journal. It was a mistake to buy it.”

Arthur’s eyes wandered to the trees towering around us.

“I’m sorry, dad,” he apologized timidly. “But I like drawing.”

I scoffed. “Yeah? Well, I like Poker. But I ain’t got time to play it. Too busy worryin’ about survival, and keeping the both of us fed. You can’t always do what you want, Arthur. You gotta provide. Things like drawing, gambling...they’re frivolous. We got better things to worry about.”

The child quirked a brow. “Friv-uh-less...? What’s that mean?”

“It means we don’t need to do it,” I explained. “What we do need, however, is to eat. So put that journal away and keep an eye out for deer. You was the one who suggested we come out here in the first place.”

Arthur frowned in a discouraged manner. “Yes, sir.”

I gave him a stern nod. “Good boy. Now...you said you seen a big buck out here?”

The boy pointed ahead. “Yeah. It was by the river.”

I gave the reins a little tug, urging my horse to follow me. “Then that’s where we’ll start. C’mon, Boadicea.”

Continuing our little hunting trip, Arthur and I traveled deeper into the lively woods as creatures of all types scurried around us, rustling blades of grass and alerting the tiny insects that hovered above the plants.

There was a rather peaceful mood to the forest today -- a welcome change considerin’ how chaotic my life usually was -- and I had to admit: some part of me enjoyed being here with Arthur. I rarely ever got to see the boy because of my work as an outlaw, and when I did, he always seemed reluctant to leave the house. Whether that was because he was more of an indoors person, or simply ‘cause he weren’t eager to spend time with me -- I didn’t know. But it was good to be with him regardless.

Approaching the large river, I came to a temporary halt as I crouched down and examined the ground, carefully searchin’ for any tracks that could’ve possibly led us to the buck.

The area here appeared undisturbed -- save for the fish flopping in and out of the babbling water -- and as far as I could tell, there weren’t no deer running around this section of the forest. Not at the moment, anyway. Maybe they were at a different part of the river.

I took a closer look at the grass, only to be torn away from my thoughts when Arthur raised a question.

“Dad?” He asked softly. “Can I...can I ask you something? About momma?”

I paused, thrown off-guard by the sudden change in tone.

“Momma?” I repeated, slowly turning towards the boy. “Why you wanna talk about her?”

Arthur’s expression sank with sorrow.

“It’s just...you knew her better than I did. Or longer, I guess. And I don’t remember her that good. ...Do you?”

I gazed at him in a puzzled manner, admittedly still a bit taken aback by the abrupt question.

“...Clear as day,” I replied, unwilling to sift through the painful memories. “But that don’t matter. She’s...she ain’t coming back, Arthur. No one does, once they die. Ain’t no point in lingerin’ in the past when it can only haunt you. All we can do is move on. You understand?”

Clearly a bit hurt by my response, Arthur dropped the subject and averted his eyes from me, peering over at a nearby gathering of flowers instead.

He slouched despondently. “...I understand.”

That wasn’t good enough for me. I took a step towards him.

“Look at me when you say that, Arthur,” I demanded. “It’s important you look people in the eye when you speak to them.”

The boy brought his line of sight back to me, his face veiled behind a very subtle layer of fear.

He straightened his back a bit. “I understand.”

I nodded in approval. “Good. Now...let’s get back to huntin’ this buck. You sure it was around the river?”

Arthur gazed around. “I saw it this morning when I was playing with Copper,” he confirmed. “It was drinkin’ water right here. That’s when I came to get you.”

I observed the dirt underneath me, squinting my eyes as I searched for clues. The grass in these parts was quite thick, so that made it even tougher to spot fur, or dung -- and I still didn’t see any deer tracks -- but it certainly looked like another animal had been around here.

I kneeled down, shuffling the grass outta the way with my hand.

“It looks like some wild horses might’ve passed through this area,” I examined. “But no sign of deer. Oh, well...the day is still young, and we have some time, so we’ll keep looking.” I gestured to a nearby bridge. “Let’s try over there.”

Grabbing my horse’s reins, I continued to guide it through the woods as Arthur scouted the area for me, his big blue eyes scanning the sharp horizon while the sun escalated in the sky. There was a certain determination in his temperament now, and the longer we carried on trying to locate this buck, the more my son seemed to be enjoying himself.

Perhaps there was hope for us, after all.

“...Dad?” The boy called again, making me flick my eyes to the side. “What if there are wolves out here?”

I encouraged him to stay calm. “Now, don’t you go worryin’ about that. If we see wolves out here, we’ll be fine. We’re armed, we’re fast, and we’re smart.”

Arthur wasn’t convinced. “...Momma was smart.”

I sighed in a melancholic tone at that. “Yes...she was. But...Momma was killed by a different type of wolf.”

He tilted his head in a puzzled manner. “What d’you mean?”

I gestured to my rifle. “Not all wolves are the same, Arthur. Some use their teeth, some use their guns, and some use their tongue. You gotta be able to identify them when you see ‘em.”

The kid didn’t say it flat out, but I could tell he knew what I was really talkin’ about.

“Those sound more like people.” He replied. I let out a gentle chuckle.

“People can be worse than wolves, Arthur. In fact, I’d prefer a wolf over some o’ the people I’ve met.”

Arthur leaned forward in the saddle, his body swaying along with Boadicea’s steady speed.

“What kinda people have you met?”

I lowered my voice, thinking back to the bandits who killed Beatrice.

“Killers. Thieves. Deceivers. Men who will constantly betray each other even though they share the same motive: greed.”

I turned to Arthur with a remorseful look, hopin’ to do at least one right thing in my life, and use myself as a cautionary tale that money weren’t as clean as it seemed.

“...Greed,” I told him, “it breaks people, Arthur. They may not realize it, ‘cause greed can get you far in this world...but the reward ain’t worth it. Not compared to the things you have to sacrifice. In the end, you’ll have tons of cash, only to realize that there are luxuries not even millionaires can afford.”

His innocence took over. “Then why do they do it?”

That was a question I asked myself everyday. I shrugged in a disheartened fashion.

“Because they don’t care. So long as their pockets is heavy, and their bellies is full, they’ll keep on going. But like I said, greed poisons you. It kills you. And you won’t even notice until you’re already sittin’ in a grave. So promise me, Arthur, promise me that when you get to my age...you won’t become a wolf.”

Despite evidently bein’ a little confused, the child was able to make some sense of what I just said and agreed to the promise, reassuring me with a small smile.

“I promise.”

“Good boy,” I praised, bringing my mind back to the main reason we came out here. “Anyway, here’s the bridge. Why don’t you hop down and help me find this buck?”

“Okay.”

Sliding down the saddle, Arthur effortlessly climbed down and joined me, scurrying ‘round like a mouse while he searched for any signs of the buck. But so far, there was nothing in sight.

“See anything?” I checked. The boy shook his head.

I wiped some sweat off my brow, letting out a fatigued sigh. This animal was certainly proving to be a challenge to hunt down. We had already been in this forest for a couple hours now, and our efforts still hadn’t paid off. Part o’ me was almost starting to suspect if Arthur even saw a deer in the first place, and not some other kinda animal.

I decided to take a short break, and turned to ask the boy.

“You positive the buck was roamin’ around in these parts? Or that it was a buck at all? I haven’t seen any tracks so far.”

A soft rustle suddenly reached my ears, interrupting my conversation with Arthur as I reached for my gun, only to be stopped by a sound I didn’t expect.

It was a man’s voice.

“...Don’t even think about it,” the stranger warned, cocking his own gun. “I will shoot if necessary.”

Freezing at the intrusion, I remained perfectly still and didn’t utter a single word as a pair of footsteps steadily approached me from behind, followed by two more men coming in from the front on horseback.

They were all dressed in similar outfits donned with Nevada hats, and I couldn’t help but notice the star-shaped badges shimmerin’ blatantly on their chests.

Shit. These were lawmen. What the hell were they doin’ out here? I never expected the law to travel this far into the country. This was definitely odd.

What really puzzled me though, weren’t the fact that there were three lawmen just...waitin’ for us out here -- it was more the fact that Arthur didn’t seem phased by any of this in the slightest. Just what exactly was goin’ on?

Trotting closer to me, one of the mounted men glowered in my direction as he ordered his deputy to restrain me, his firm, steel eyes never wavering.

I recognized him instantly.

“...Sheriff Buchanan.” I muttered through gritted teeth.

He returned the greeting, scowling from under his hat’s rim.

“Lyle Morgan.”

I shrugged at him, unsure of what to make of the situation.

“What is this shit? What’s the sheriff doing all the way out here?”

Buchanan glanced at Arthur, standing in front of him in a protective manner.

“I told you I’d use every option I had to get you behind bars, Morgan...and I meant it. You made the choice not to heed my warning.”

Taking a second to process what he just told me, the realization suddenly hit me like a bullet to the gut as I stared at Arthur with a sense of immense betrayal, unable to believe what was happening.

There never was no goddamned buck.

Things was never gonna work out for me and Arthur.

This was all a trap.

My own...son...had turned me in.

He was the bait, and Buchanan was the true hunter.

I clenched my jaw in rage, doing my absolute best to shield my emotions as the deputy kicked me to my knees.

“...A-Arthur...?” I whispered, my voice trembling.

The boy looked me straight in the eye, standing adamantly beside Buchanan as his deputies tied me up. I threw a glare at the sheriff, damning him till my last moments.

“You bastard, Buchanan...!” I cursed. “You turned my own damned son against me...?!”

The man showed no guilt and tightened his grip on his rifle, silently advising me to stay back.

“No need,” Buchanan denied. “You drove him to me all by yourself.”

He placed a gentle hand on Arthur’s shoulder and guided him towards the second deputy, ordering them to bring him back to town.

“Clayton, bring the boy back to the office. We’ll figure out where to send him later. For now though, just keep him safe, and look after him.”

“Right away, Sheriff.”

Preparing both his horse and mine for departure, the deputy left Arthur next to the sheriff as the boy stood firmly in place, his innocent yet damaged gaze never leavin’ mine.

Despite the hint of remorse clouding the child’s eyes, it was pretty obvious Arthur felt he made the right decision in turning me in. And just as Buchanan’s second deputy started to drag me away, I couldn’t help but notice a beautiful Whitetail buck wanderin’ around in the distance, its majestic antlers standing out like a crown on a monarch’s head as it bathed in the golden sunlight.

The animal swayed its head in my direction, almost as if trying to communicate with me.

“I’m sorry, dad,” Arthur whispered as he walked towards Clayton, blocking the buck in the process. “...But you made me promise.”

Taking his leave, the boy finally mounted up and steadily trotted away from the scene, only to reveal an empty spot where the buck once stood as he left the forest.

Well...I may have found the buck like I planned, but it weren’t my job to kill it.

And it certainly weren’t my place to look for it.

I could hunt them down to my heart’s content, and kill ‘em all I wanted for my own desires...but in the end, they would always be able to afford the one luxury I’d never obtained.

Peace.

#red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #arthur morgan #lyle morgan #beatrice morgan #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 story

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fairyscribbles · 6 years

Text

Boiling Bite. (Chanyeol, Wolf!au) 2/2

Hello guys! A few little changes!

I will try to again re-update a lot of the lists that I have here, because not only they were not up to date, they are a bit glitched, as I saw when uploading that Baekhyun story!

I also thought of putting up my ko-fi link again. I stopped doing it for a while because I was pretty content, but as I started working, my financial needs rose up as well, due to travel, food etc etc. I am also really shooting to go to the JLPTs again and obtain the highest level (N1). For that, I need the books for it. I already bought the grammar book, so I need the vocab, kanji and reading so I can prepare and hopefully go try out the summer dates of the test!

It’s also a bit hard to update for me now not only because of school but also because of the house renovation. My desk is really cluttered from all the things I’ve had on shelves and my laptop has been connected to the TV for about three weeks now and has been exclusively used for Netflix ^^’ I did go back to writing into notebooks though, and I’m biting through a few of the requests. Who knows, maybe once I’m done, I will open them again!

Well now, after this super long essay, let’s enjoy the second part of the Kris story I have posted a while back!

If you need to refresh your memory, here is the first part! If you like what you read, you can support me on ko-fi!

♥

Everything burned and everything hurt. You didn’t remember when was the last time you were conscious for more than five minutes. The pain always knocked you out before you could go insane with it.

You could clearly remember that night... the dark alleyway... Kris’ mate crying into her phone, begging Kris to come and save you.

The two vampires standing, ready to pounce.

You stepping between the vampires and Kris’ mate.

And then the bite.

It was as if somebody suddenly poured acid into your veins and the blood carried it all over your body. It felt horrible. You wanted to die as you felt the ice cold fangs digging into you, sucking the life out of you.

It might’ve been gone in a few seconds, but it felt like hours to you.

They came and saved you. But it was too late, as you crumbled to the ground and you screamed in pain.

You felt someone, Chanyeol probably, picking you up and cradling you to him, but it didn’t do anything with the horrible pain that coursed through your body.

That’s when you blacked out the first time.

The first time you came to was when you felt someone settle down next to you.

“Ch-Chan…” your voice was too raspy for you to continue, a coughing fit interrupting your question.

“It’s me, ___.” Answered the voice that did not belong to your mate. Kyungsoo wiped at your forehead, the wet cloth gathering the sweat that trickled down your face.

“What…what…happene-“

“You were bitten. It’s the werewolf genes and vampire saliva that’s making you hurt.” You whimpered as the washcloth trailed down your face onto your neck, to the bite mark. A strangled scream ripped through your throat when the cloth dabbed at the wound and you immediately cowered from the pack’s healer. You heard him apologize, but everything was pronounced so slow and the way your eyelids seemed to drop, you knew you were out of it once again.

“Alright, ___. We need to get some of the bad blood out. This is going to hurt a lot, so we’re going to do it by bits, alright?”

You slowly grew accustomed to the pain, you were beginning to understand how it worked, how it always came in waves at you. It could’ve been two days since Kyungsoo’s visit, but it could’ve been two weeks as well.

You nodded shakily, tilting your head to the side and revealing your neck to him. Kyungsoo sighed, placing everything he was holding onto the nightstand before looming over you, his lips on your neck.

“Try to hold on as long as possible…” he mumbled quietly, his breath ghosting over your skin, before his lips closed over the wound. The first suck had you arching against him in a scream, your fists bunching in his shirt. You screeched, pleading for him to stop, trashing from side to side. You could feel the lift slipping from you from every suck by Kyungsoo’s lips. It ended just a few seconds after, yet it felt like eternity.

Kyungsoo spit out the blood he held in his mouth, its color a washed out red and more yellow than anything else.

“You did great, ___.” Kyungsoo gently stroked your cheek, trying to somehow calm you down.

“Chan…” you coughed heavily after that.

“What was it, ___?”

“Where…is…Ch-Chan…Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo fell silent for quite a while after that. Every passing second was like a dagger to your heart.

“He’s out hunting. He left three days ago, he didn’t come back yet.” Kyungsoo told you and yet you somehow knew it was a lie. You swallowed the tears that crept up on you and nodded to the tense Kyungsoo.

“You should try to get some sleep, ___-ah. We’ll try to get out more tomorrow.” His voice was gentle as if he was talking to a child. You nodded again, the grip of consciousness already slipping past your hands.

The last thing you thought of was Chanyeol’s voice, desperately calling your name.

Chanyeol sighed as he walked through the door. His body was full of kinks and soreness that wouldn’t be able to go away even after extended rest. As if he could do that, anyway.

For the past few days, he hadn’t thought about anything else, but revenge. He spent the past three days hunting down a vampire coven, making sure he would get every and single one of those suckers.

He kicked off his muddy boots and entered the house, his jacket a bloody pool on the floor. As he passed the mirror, he noticed the deep bags under his eyes and hallowed face.

He was only a ghost of what he used to be. He felt it, in his skin, his bones, in his very form, something changed. And he didn’t know how he would bring it back.

They switched every day. At first, only Kyungsoo would come, but later on, Suho replaced the healer, calling in Jongin to hold you down while sucking out the poison. The day after, the two switched and after that, Minseok and Luhan took their turns in trying to make you feel better.

You had already filled a whole glass with the yellowish substance and your mind was free from the sticky mist that clouded your senses.

It had its downfall, as it made the pain of healing clearer and the realization that since the night you’ve been bitten, Chanyeol hasn’t seen you once. Not a single time you felt his presence beside you and that made you tear up.

You probably disgusted him. You were bitten. And broken. Who in the right state of mind would want a broken mate? You thought as Kyungsoo gave your neck one hard last suck.

“Kyungsoo…” you choked out, stuttering over the lump in your throat.

“Yes? What is it?” he answered after cleaning his mouth, the poison still rocking slightly in the cup.

“K-Kill me.” You sobbed, the tears sneaking up on you. You could almost feel Kyungsoo freeze.

“What?” he wanted to you repeat as he slipped his hands around yours. You gripped him desperately.

“Please, just…let me have it over with. Just kill me and let that be…it.”

“Are you crazy? What about Chanyeol?” his voice sounded as if he still didn’t believe what you were saying. You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked at the ceiling, illuminated by moonlight.

“He…he doesn’t care about me anymore.” You had to wait a moment after saying that to calm yourself down. It was far too painful.

“I don’t blame him, though.” You added with a smile, even through the tears.

“Who would want a mate that is tainted by the enemy?” Kyungsoo squeezed your hand, rubbing circles into your skin with his thumb.

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve heard, ___. And I’m in a pack with Jongin, which means I’m listening to stupidities on a daily basis.” You could hear the smile in his voice and you couldn’t help but to chuckle shortly.

“Chanyeol wants you all the time. NO matter how you act, look or feel.”

“Then why isn’t he here?” Kyungsoo was quiet for a long time, weighing out his options. IN the end, he sighed, shaking his head.

“I would like to know that, too.” He rubbed your hand some more. It wasn’t the same thing as being comforted by your mate, but it came close.

“Just go to sleep, ___. You did good today.” You squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand one last time, before slowly rolling on your side. You instinctively awaited Chanyeol’s arms wrapping around you and pull you to him, but that never came.

Before Chanyeol could sigh and slip off his jacket, he was shoved back by a furious looking Kyungsoo.

“You need to start taking care of your mate.” He growled in a low tone, his eyes flickering gold.

“I am.” Chanyeol mumbled under his breath, trying to keep his cool.

“I’m avenging her. Killing every motherfucker I can get my eyes on.”

“She doesn’t need that. She needs you. But you’ve been too much of a pussy to face her.”

“What?” Chanyeol hissed, his beast stirring. Kyungsoo’s face showed he was being serious about what he said.

“I said, you’re too much of a pussy to look at her. You need to start taking care of her.”

“Do you even know how it fucking feels like? Being in my place?” Chanyeol asked, his tone menacingly passive as he came closer to Kyungsoo.

“Do you know the fucking feeling, when the person you love the most, the person you would die for, gets hurt? Like that? In front of your own fucking eyes?!” Chanyeol’s growl gradually turned into roaring.

“Do you even know how I feel when I walk around the room and I hear her screaming? Because I was unable to help her? Do you know the feeling?”

“And do you fucking know what you’re doing to her now? Did you even know that she asked me to kill her yesterday?” Kyungsoo’s words were like a thousand daggers, stabbing into his heart. As he heard about your wish to die, his knees buckled.

“W-What?” Kyungsoo smiled grimly as Chanyeol’s shock-ridden state.

“She thinks you don’t want her anymore. She told me that you probably think of her as disgusting since she was bitten by a vampire.” Chanyeol sighed deeply, sliding down the wall he was leaning against.

“Fucking hell…” he muttered, running his fingers through his hair. Kyungsoo knelt down next to him, laying his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“Look, I’m not going to try to convince you that it wasn’t your fault. You wouldn’t listen to me anyways. But killing vampires won’t help her. She needs you close. She needs to know that she’s still wanted.” Chanyeol sighed, nodding. He was too weak to say anything else.

“The sucking of the poison is very painful for her. She needs her mate. If you would do it, the poison will be gone in a few days.” When Chanyeol still didn’t answer, Kyungsoo patted his back once more and he stood to leave.

“Kyungsoo…”

“Hmm?” he turned around to look at Chanyeol. Only then he noticed how the biting affected him. He looked like hell- there were big bags under his eyes, his clothing hung on his disappearing frame and his shoulders seemed slumped with eternal luggage.

“Thank you. For everything.” Kyungsoo smiled softly.

“We’re brothers, Chanyeol. I would do anything for you.” At this Chanyeol smiled slightly.

“Even so. Thank you so much.”

You stirred when your bed dipped with another weight settling on it. Your fever had gone up again, so you didn’t recognize what was happening until the unknown person cupped the back of your neck and tilted your head to the side. Your blood started running faster as you realized what’s happening.

“No, Kyungsoo…” you whimpered quietly, your fists balling into his shirt. The body seemed different from Kyungsoo’s though.

“Please, no more…” you tried to cover the wound by tilting your head, but he nudged it aside with his nose. As you tried to fight back, more weight settled over you.

“Calm down, ___-ah…” a low voice rumbled above you and you suddenly knew who it was.

“Chanyeol?” he answered you with a hum, as he lightly licked your neck. Your breath hitched and you wound your hands around his torso, bringing him close. Chanyeol swiped his tongue over the wound once more before he closed his lips around it, giving it an experimental suck. He shuddered when the bad blood entered his mouth, but it didn’t stop him from sucking harder. It was much different, the cleansing with your mate. It was almost pleasurable for the first seconds and you pushed him down onto you some more, panting quietly. Chanyeol paused a while to spit out the venom in his mouth before diving in for more. This time, it was more uncomfortable, and you squirmed against him, your hands bunching in his shirt and tugging on it, to pull him away. He stayed relentless though, as he sucked harder. The first hard suck was painful.

“Chanyeol…” you whimpered, squirming some more. Once again, he leaned away to spit out.

“One more time, baby.” He assured you, closing his mouth around the wound again.

It was painful the last time, just as it was with the others. You arched your back, trying to get him from you, you tried swinging your head from side to side, but Chanyeol’s hold on you was tight, not letting go until you actually screamed out.

He quickly spat out the remaining poison and had you in his arms in seconds, holding you against his chest securely.

“I’m so sorry, baby, I’m sorry…” he kept repeating in your hair, stroking it comfortingly.

It took a while for you to calm down and to realize that he was actually with you. After the week of separation, it seemed unnatural.

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore…” you mumbled under your breath, holding onto him tightly. He reciprocated the grip, kissing the crown of your head.

“Are you kidding me? You’re my mate. I warned you about this before you signed your soul- it’s a job for life.” You giggled tiredly- the cleansing always had a dizzying effect on you- maybe because you lost a lot of blood.

“Will you stay?” you asked, looking up at him. You didn’t let him have much of a choice. There was a small chance he would be able to get out of the grip you had on him, anyways.

“Forever.” He said, kissing your lips.

#chanyeol #chanyeol story #chanyeol scenario #chanyeol exo #exo chanyeol #exo story #exo scenario #werewolf #werewolf au #werewolf story #werewolf scenario #exo werewolf #story

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tialasnow · 5 years

Text

Interview With Tiala Snowdancer

Name ➔ “Tiala Snowdancer, though most people just call me Tia.”

Are you single?➔ “As of recently I’m not. Thalin ( @wildname ) and I finally decided it was about time to stop pretending we aren’t together.” She giggled to herself.

Are you angry?➔ “I rarely ever do get angry, not worth letting the whispers slip back in.”

Are your parents still married?➔ “They were together up until the moment of their deaths.”

NINE FACTS

Birth Place ➔ “My sister and I were born in our families spire, In the mountain south of Eversong.”

Hair Color ➔ “Light blonde like the majority of my people.“

Eye color ➔ “A rich blue, though that tends to be subject to change when I use magic.”

Birthday ➔ “January Twentieth, I’m almost one hundred and twenty seven.”

Mood ➔ “Antsy, I wish I could do more, though it’s nice to be able to lighten the spirits of those serving.”

Gender ➔ “Female... though sometimes I can’t stand being thought of as feminine.”

Summer or Winter ➔ “It’s difficult to decide. Winter has a romantic peace about it, though I prefer the summer because honestly... I hate sleeves.”

Morning or Afternoon ➔ “I’ve always been a morning person. People tend to find it strange but it’s just the best time to get things done.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

Are you in love? ➔ Tiala chuckled her head shaking as she thought. “No, as much as I like Thalin love is something that I’m not sure I’ll be ready for for a long time.”

Do you believe in love at first sight? ➔ “I do. When I first saw Tayla I just had that feeling.“

Who ended your last relationship? ➔ “I did. I have... reservations towards dating men, Thalin has so far proven to be an exception. ”

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? ➔ “I have, I still remember the look on her face when I was sentenced to exile. Pure betrayal.”

Are you afraid of commitments? ➔ “I can be. It’s just how I am. My last major commitment was destroyed by my affiliation with the void. I’m terrified that I could do that again.”

Have you hugged someone within the past week? ➔ “Thalin is a big fan of hugs, so yes, several times.”

Have you ever had a secret admirer? ➔ “Not that I know of actually. If there has been I’ve been completely oblivious to it.“

Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “When I gained my memories of Tay back I was shattered. Whatever the whispers had convinced me was real had ruined everything I had.”

SIX CHOICES

Love or Lust ➔ “Surprisingly I’m a romantic. I would rather be in love with someone than to just be with them physically. Though I will say lusting after the person you love is a great experience.”

Lemonade or iced tea ➔ “I’m actually a fan of sour things, so I would say lemonade.”

Cats or Dogs? ➔ “Cats I would say.”

A few best friends or many regular friends? ➔“I would rather keep a few close to me than have many people I just know.”

Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ "A night in. My career is watching people have wild nights, I much prefer the comfort of a single person.”

Day or Night ➔ “I’m a night person. Walks alone through the city are relaxing... when I don’t get mugged.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

Been caught sneaking out ➔ “Constantly, I would sneak out all the time from my families home. I ended up getting on the bad side of the woman who would always escort me back. Though it isn’t my fault she was really muscular and pinned me against things.”

Fallen down/up stairs ➔ Tiala giggled “More than I would care to admit.”

Wanting something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔“No, nothing good comes from feeling that way, only more pain.”

Wanted to disappear ➔ “The joy of being able to slip through the void is that I can disappear. It’s happened on a few occasions were I left somewhere I wasn’t comfortable.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

Smile or eyes ➔ “Eyes, a piercing gaze just makes me melt inside.”

Shorter or taller ➔ "I like being pinned to things more than I care to admit. I guess either taller or the same height as me is my preference, though my fiancee was shorter than I am.”

Intelligence or attraction ➔ “Intelligence, and there’s much more to it than just being book smart. It’s being able to hold a conversation with someone. It’s hearing their views and being able to see yourself in their shoes.”

Hook-up or relationship ➔ "Relationship, hook-ups are nice for lonely nights and to do something regrettable but nothing compares to being with someone.”

Do you and your family get along? ➔ "My sister and I are still in contact. We’ve made up after what had happened. Unfortunately we are the only two left and both of us vowed we would be the last of the Snowdancer’s”

FAMILY

Do you consider all of your friends good friends? ➔ “Yes, those I keep close to me I keep very close.”

Would you say you have a “messed up life”? ➔ “Not anymore. I used too, I was one of those hooded figures in the back of the bar complaining about her bad past. But now I’m happy, I’m helping as much as I can.”

Who is your best friend? ➔ “My best friends would be Thalin and Allie, though it’s been a while since I’ve seen Allie.” She shrugs “Without them I wouldn’t be the same person I am today. They are the reason I keep fighting.”

Who knows everything about you ➔ “Nobody.” She said flatly “The one person who knew the real me will never see me again. Even those closest to me don’t know who I actually am.”

Tagged by: @roses-and-arrows @alliesweetsong-wra

Tagging: @draenei-tales @adeline-wra @ranger-swiftwind

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inspiringwhilerespiring · 5 years

Text

Yall know i love this survey shit<3

1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends.

-finish 5 books

-lose 20 lbs

-produce more art

-travel out of the state & country

-heal my heart and love myself a lil more

2. What color are your pants?

not wearing any

3. Favorite motivational quote.

damn, there’s A L O T. prob something simple and to the point. I like “proud, but never satisfied” and “the distance between your dreams and reality is called action”

4. When was the last time you drank coffee?

yesterday; got a new french press for christmas<3

5. What was the last thing you ate?

lmao the weirdest shit. hot cheetos, some hummus, and a bar

6. Favorite animal.

soo many; always been fascinated by sharks. Elephants are up there too.

7. Favorite song.

currently anything Kid Cudi - he soothes my soul

8. Last movie you watched?

National Lampoon family vacation I think?

9. Any turn ons?

of course; im one of those gay people who gets turned on by having an emotional connection first and foremost; but if were strictly talking physical shit - any neck action is sexy af. or just taking breaks to make eye contact.

10. Any turn offs?

bad breath lol and just being a dick in general or inconsiderate

11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head.

cognizant; superfluous; compelling; anguished

12. What are some meaningful movies?

First ones that come to my mind that left an impact or a meaningful message are Shawshank Redemption, Avatar, Wall-E (lol), Forest Gump

13. 2 most important people in your life right now?

Myself honestly

14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends?

Find a desk, order a blender, and form a morning routine

15. When was the last time you read a good book?

Currently reading Michelle Obama’s -Becoming; before that I read the Alchemist and it was good

16. How long do you study for usually, if you study?

I don’t

17. Do you have any nicknames?

Pollo, Hayls

18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.)

Viva la Juicy, but honestly all of them - been sticking to essential oils or all natural shit lately - anything with Amber is good.

19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state?

yes<3

20. What is something unique that you do every single day?

lol shower? I dont really do anything special i dont think?

21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called?

“Becoming” lol because I feel like I am always growing and changing and adapting and learning and ill never just be one thing

22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone?

Recently - christmas time

23. Are you a shopaholic?

no - but i just got an amazon prime account and thats game changer fa real

24. What are some songs that always make you feel better?

Love - Kid Cudi,

25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself.

Sitting in the tub (otherwise that shit is too crowded lmao)

Reading a good book

Masturbating prob?

26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in?

Tropical island

27. How do you like being roused in the morning?

cuddles and soft music (prob reggae) and if i aint got shit to do a bluntttt fam

28. How was your day? What did you do?

it was ok - fighting some inner demons lately and feeling really low :/ but i got a little bit done so im giving myself a break

29. What did your last text message say?

“bye”

30. Do you respond to texts quickly?

depends on who it is lol

31. Who was the last person you called?

my mom

32. List 5 things that are on your wish list.

i wanna learn another language

I wish to be able to see more things change for the better in our world

i wish to skydive

i wish to live in another country for a while

and i wish to love myself

33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for?

maybe being a host of a talk show lol

34. Winter or summer?

both

35. What is a quality that all people should have?

empathy

36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be?

my inner white girl and materialistic ass says shoes - but idk i think it would also be cool to have a collection of books or photographs - ya know that sentimental shit i be on

37. What have you been thinking about lately?

wow so much - a lot of reflecting honestly about who i have been and how i’ve treated others and how i am trying to change myself - so ironically enough, i’ve also been thinking about the future and trying to focus on who i want to be and where i want to be

38. What is the secret to a happy life?

taking it day by day im sure

39. What are some phrases you say often?

“nice” lol to my clients a lot

40. Favorite food?

lately its been asian - like thai and vietnamese. fuck now i want some dumplings and curry and egg rollllz

41. List 3 wishes.

already fuckin diiiiiddd fam

42. What are some of your greatest fears?

memory loss, dying, losing others

43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

idk whats app prob

44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)?

machu picchu

45. Spicy food:Like or dislike?

LOVE

46. Scary movies:Like or dislike?

Depends

47. Do you like to travel?

Do you know me lol

48. Any regrets?

yeah always, but i try to live my life without any and honestly id never go back and change em

49. Do you like rain?

obsessed; fav weather actually

50. What do you spend most of your money on?

food

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future?

past bc im a sentimental person; future is exciting and i like surprises and the unknown and dreaming about that shit - id rather not know.

52. Favorite clothing store?

depends - urban outfitters is my style but i like goodwill just as much

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down?

this too shall pass

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you?

honestly not often enough, i try not to over think things or it tends to give me anxiety. why worry about things that are far out of our control? I just take shit day by day

55. What angers you the most?

ignorance. and rude ass people. when someone isnt being genuine

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry?

yesterday

57. When was the last time you got really sad?

today

58. Are you good at lying?

im sure everyone is to some degree

59. What foreign language would you like to learn?

spanish

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they?

just one - semi fluent in spanish

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead?

lol

62. What books do you plan to read this year?

not sure! I have a couple but we shall see

63. Do you have breakfast every morning?

yes i try to - its my fav meal

64. Tell us a secret.

then it wouldnt be a secret

65. How many concerts have you been to?

a few

66. Last hug?

wasnt long enough

67. Who knows you better than anyone else?

myself

68. Baths or showers?

ooooooh damn, depends

69. Do you think you’re ambitious?

i could be a little more

70. What song is stuck in your head?

lmaooo wake up in the sky by gucci mane and bruno - thats been my shit lately

71. Countries you’ve visited?

Peru, Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, Jamaica, Caymans, Philippines

72. What do you most value in your friends?

Communication and laughter

73. What helps you to sleep better?

putting my got dang phone away from me

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand?

prob like 2 grand or some shit

75. What makes you nervous?

when i over book myself or take too much on and have a lot on my plate - so time management i suppose

76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given?

to live in the present moment; and to take care of myself

77. Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive for sure - i dont really ever forget

78. First mobile phone?

ayyy a flip phone and it was see thru and lit up and had a walkie talkie!

79. Strangest dream?

lmao ew no im so ashamed

80. Best dream?

flying or something

81. Who is the smartest person you know?

my grandpa it seems

82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr?

idk

83. Do you miss anyone right now?

very much, always

84. Who do you love? Why?

everyone, because life is too damn short for hate

85. Do you like sharing?

yeah lol bc i expect ppl to share w me in return

86. What was the last picture you took with your phone?

idk actually

87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens?

yeah id like to think so

88. Favorite genre of music?

i was raised on hip hop so i feel like that is my go to but honestly i love reggae, alternative, a lil bit of electro chill shit, R&B, oldies, jazz, anything

89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be?

Understanding

90. Describe your life in 5 words.

roller coaster. fun. emotional. loving. growth.

91. Describe the world in 4 words.

crazy. beautiful. strong. vast.

92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done?

skinny dip?

93. First three songs in your favorite playlist?

cocaine model - zhu

is this love - bob marley

tadow - masego

94. Are you more creative or logical?

def without a doubt 100% creative/emotional/empath/sensative/does things based on feelings rather than reason type person lmao

95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth?

truth always

96. What are you most proud of?

my ability to communicate and understand people

97. What personality trait do you admire in other people?

strength/humility

98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing?

smoking a fat ass blunt doing yoga on a sunny day while its 68 degrees out and im on a beach

#survey #ask me anything #ask #questionaire #questions #haylee #get to know me

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teenwolfhot · 5 years

Text

Scott McCall imagines part 4

Inspired by ariana grande " break up with your girlfriend...bored "

You and theo were trapped completely surrounded by these people until

This shit always happens to me (Yeah)

Why can't we just play for keeps? (Mmm-mmm)

Practically on my knees "

The lyrics of the song was loud theo sighed and looked at you while " i can hear a faint heartbeat sister " the voice said " nevermind Elijah we have to go nik will have our heads with we meddle " as the footsteps were suddenly disappearing

Theo grabbed you " go ahead and maybe get us killed " you nodded still in shock " who was that ?" Theo couldnt scent them out " i dont know whoever they are definitely aren't from here that's for sure "

-------------------

Ever since you were little girl a slight obsession with a certain boy and well it started since that very summer day back in kindergarten

" thats my doll give it back " a tall girl with pigtails wrapped in red ribbons snatched your favourite doll away from you " well its mine now ...hahahaha " the girl stuck her tongue out while another kids watched afar was scott meeting his long term best friend stiles

He wasn't listening to the young boy in front of him as he saw you got pushed he immediately ran over " stop .... give back the doll " you looked up to see a boy in front of you wearing blue and white stripe polo shirt and a dirty jeans with converse on " why she your girlfriend... nananananan " scott pushed the little girl " shes my firend " snatched the doll away from the girl and turned to you " here i think this is yours " he smiled while handing it to you somhow your knee got scraped " here... for ummm... your knee "he pointed

----------------------------

Lydia was unable to read kira " soo what's up with you and scott lately... i want the juice " looking puzzled at the girl " lately his been well ummm his been avoiding me recently... i try to help but .... " she looked malia

" why do i get the feeling something happens between you two " pointing to malia and kira " we discuss some .... well ... scott ..... ummmmm isaac ..... uhhhh " kira didnt feel like talking about the situation about isaac and malia even scott its like a plague

" malia ???" The girl simply zoned out unfortunately " it will eventually come out im telling you

Hearing liam and stiles argue about the jeep and the adjustments liam made to the jeep

" i said you can have the jeep not redesigned it " lydia walking towards the two boys " well its my jeep ... you gave it to me .... well i simplify the jeep to my liking " liam looked at stiles and all the boy did was sigh " is okay I've got a new car or jeep " stiles said with dignity

" yes stiles we all know the FBI gave you a Land Rover " lydia rolling her eyes when suddenly theo's car pulled into the McCall drive way "we all need to talk " rushing out of the car

As you step out of the car you never been to McCall house before this is your first time " i should... probably. I'll wait in the car " as you headed back isaac grabbed you by the arm and dragging you inside

" whats the problem raeken couldn't it wait till tomorrow?" Stiles squinting his eyes " well no ... me and (y/n) were at the library earlier and well .... three people broke into the school and they were searching for something " scott looked at theo " i don't think is supernatural related theo " scott said quietly while everyone else got it " well .... i can smell them and they aren't from here scott ... especially at a time like this ... what are they thief I'm sure parrish is on patrol ..." which made everyone think

" well of theo is right what do they want ?" Lydia looking at you" are you okay (y/n)?" Just then stiles smacked the back of theo's head " you brought her .... her seriously " looking at you "isaac dragges me in i wanted to wait in the car .... anways I'm intruding i should go .... either way we dont hang out anyways... " smiling at each of them before leaving

As you were making your way to the door " hey ... about stiles ... is going to be fine ... we should hang... " the strawberry blond smiled " im lydia martin ... im ..." you intrude " i know my teacher talks highly of you " you said to her " thanks well I'll lead you out then

Isaac felt the need to follow after you " wait "(y/n) .... (y/n) " isaac walking up to you before lydia walks back in "im sorry ... i thought you .... " you rolled your eyes " really lahey thats how you want to play out ... the I'm sorry to drag you into something you shouldn't be there for .... i know we're friends but i don't think.... they like me .... martin sure made some.... kind of gesture or something to get me involved "

" you know what lahey ... stop ... just stop caring.... yes I'm a little bit insecure and sensitive but at least i don't draw attention to myself ... so save me the pleasure of acting like i belong in your group "

Walking away

-----------------

Meanwhile " i supposed you know who i am then ?" Chris was hanging like an X arms being held down with cuffs while spikes on this inside the cuff diggs in " slowly your bleeding " the voice simple said " now ... do you know us ... do you know what we are ?" The strange man asked again this time digging into argent chest and blood soaking through the black shirt " yes ..... yes .... yes ... i ... i ... DO !!!"

the man removed he hand from argent chest " well thats great news ..... so where are the rest of your groupies " the man looked deep into argents eyes " i said i know what you are .... i definitely can't be compelled " Chris laughing

" well i just have to ...... bleed you some more then .... until you're able to be compelled Chris "

The blond walked through the door and ran to chris " you lied ... hunter you lied ..." as the blond reached into chris chest he started to have a short breath " i can hear your heart beating fast " sister... sister ... sister ... toture should be fun.... " another young fellow with a metal baseball bat at hand and wacked it on the side of argent chest " did i hear ribs being broken " the young man laughed

" all of you are interrupting my interrogation.... really so much blood " as the blond release her hand away from his chest heavily breathing " blood of hunter " dragging her fingers over his arms that are in blood " i wouldn't taste his blood ... his on vervain "

As the blond wiped it off " we just have to continue till you talk then "

-------------------------

5 days after the event

Walking to school you've been avoiding every single one of isaac friends like a plague " sooo.... you're alive " it was isaac looking at you and smiling you pushed passed him " why do you care suddenly... lahey its not like you care in the first place anyways "

Continuing walking while lydia and malia catched up to the curly boy " soo anything... nope ... she wouldnt talk .... it seems she closed herself up again" lydia started to smirk " what if ... scott ... im mean scott could get her to talk right ?" Isaac was sceptical about this

" well yeah but they've had brief conversations but not a full one ... im telling you its a bad idea "

---------------------

Taking out your biology books and writing down the extra writing on the board scott took tbe opportunity to seat next to you " hey " you didnt pay attention to him kept writing down the notes till " oh man ... i forgot my biology books ..... i swear " you turned into your bag " here this is yours ... ms martin gave it to me to give to you ... i was gonna give it to you somehow but " yours and his hand slightly touched as he grabbed the book

" thanks ... " smiling

You were happy that you managed to give the item back to him but still you wanted to know everything... especially his relationship with malia and kira

You didnt like kira you had no problem with malia is that asian girl you didnt like .. she somehow inserted herself into scotts life without even knowing him

You were furious when you found out that scott was dating her , it was a stab in the heart one way or another your going to make scott McCall yours

Thinking of ways to be in his life you didn't realise that the teacher was calling you " (l/n)...(l/n).... (y/n)" you paused and heard your name being called

" im sorry miss (y/t/n) i was elsewhere... i do apologise " the teacher rolled her eyes "what i meant was ms martin would like to see you " she gave you an orange slip for you to leave class " right now ?" Yhe teacher stop in her tracks "yes right now .. unless you want to stop her orders or you willing to tell the principal why you aren't obeying one of " you shake your head " I'll go " picking your stuff up you rushed out

Thinking why would ms martin see you now what possibilities could she be thinking pulling you away from class especially AP BIOLOGY

-------------------'

Seeing two people in ms martins office you sighed and opened the door " ms martin you wanted to see me ?" The much older strawberry blond woman smiled " yes i do ... actually i wanted to discuss your career future college " as she points to a chair " i hope you don't mind I've took the pleasure of asking your parents to come by too "

As you took a seat next to your parents " well we 100% be involved in whatever our daughter decisions today " as ms martin smiled and sitting behind her desk

" mr and mrs (l/n) your daughter records are outstanding she will be graduating with honours " ms martin smiled while your parents looked like their on cloud nine " we are very pleased to hear " your mother said with joy in her voice " i must say (y/n) since you've not give in your final recommendation on the career path we will have to submit it today " your parents were shocked " very well "

"( y/n) what is your career goals " ms martin looking at you "- ummmm uhhhhh ummmm ..... biology.... i want to do something with biology " you started to gain confidence " biology is your main career point ?" Ms Martin writing it down "yes it is im very passionate about biology and i would like to study furthermore into the subject if i can ... im also looking into go apprentice in a laboratory on biology something like genetic or microbiology " you said while looking at her

Your parents were surpised you wanted to go that way becuase generally you talked about veterinary and medicine about the well being of animals this is sort of different types of research

" very well... i see you've made your research I'm pleased on that "ms martin smiled

" also theres three apprenticeships round the areas including here at school and some at local biology department in the science community " pausing " the only i like is not in this town but in mystic falls " your mother gasped

" well you certainly did your research on this subject then .... i will see to it your application form has been sent to all of these locations... in the meantime please keep your grades to these standards "

Walking out of the offcie the whole interview along with your parents exhausted you completely " so ... what did lydia mum want ?" Isaac putting his arms round your neck my career choice " removing isaac arm " plus i think i might have a chance of leaving this place lahey "

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wanderingxstars · 6 years

Text

Social Anxiety

One of the reasons I joined Tumbr in the first place was because I was experiencing things that I didn’t understand and that no one I told in real life understood either. On Tumblr, it’s a lot easier to find relatable quotes and others who feel similar to how you feel. At the time I thought I was just shy. Time and time again I was told by teachers, friends, family, even parents of friends that I was shy and that eventually I would ‘grow out of it’, I’d ‘come out my shell,’ I’d stop being so shy and for a while I believed them.

I can’t remember the exact time where I thought ‘no hold up, something is wrong, i am not just shy,’ and I don’t think there was a specific event that triggered me off into thinking I wasn’t just shy, but I think that over time and as life became more and more about social interactions, I came to realize that how I was feeling, I didn’t want to feel anymore.

I was fed up of always having to force myself to make conversation with people because I was too scared to actually talk to people, I was fed up with only having one-worded answers to say, I was fed up of not being able to survive a driving lesson without bursting into tears, I was fed up of my voice shaking and my heart bounding so loud you could probably hear it while I was giving a presentation, I was fed up of feeling so overly awkward and out of place and like no one liked me and that people were judging me. I was fed up of always thinking I was going to say or do the wrong thing, or embarrass myself. I was just really fed up.

At this point, I was annoyed that I thought everyone was moving on in life and becoming their own person and gaining their own independence, while I was still a nervous wreck that would probably cry if you spoke to me. I remember when my ex-boyfriend past his driving test and although I was so happy for him I was also so annoyed at myself because I couldn't even get in the car without crying. The stupid thing being I wasn’t even scared about driving a car, I was scared about my driving instructor talking to me and NO ONE understood that. At the same time I was so stressed about uni application because I was convinced uni wasn’t for me because I was too shy and wouldnt make friends and wouldnt be able to cope on my own as I was. At uni open days I mentioned to different people how I felt and a lot of them told me to go talk to my GP about it. So I booked an appointment with my GP, told her what was up and she basically said she wasn’t going to diagnose me with anything because it’s not about the label, it’s about trying to treat the person. In a way I agree with this, but how current systems work, not having a diagnosis makes some things a little difficult later on, but I’m not gonna talk about this too much.

Anyway, I was put on a 6 month waiting list and so in the meantime, I told the head of sixth form and had counselling from the school. I loved my school counselor. She was hilarious and listened to me and actually gave me so much advice and filled me with self-belief. People even started commenting on how they could see a change in me and I was so happy. I saw Lynn as more of a friend and with her advice and coping strategies I actually somehow managed to pass my driving test first time^.^ Also, one of the main things I really wanted to be able to do was to just get up and dance at a family party. Lynn encouraged me and we made it our mission to get me dancing. And I did. I had a 70th family party coming up, I put on one of my favourite outfits and suddenly I was able to dance. It sounds like such a small thing but it was something I always envied other people of being able to do so easily. oh and just to clarify, not everything happens this easily, there are still things i struggle with to this day that I have been working on for years, but I’ll discuss this more later.

As exams approached, I decided to stop having sessions with my counselor and to focus on exams. This was my decision as my education is very important to me, but looking back, I wish I had taken more care for my mental health during exams and kept having sessions. PLEASE REMEMBER YOUR MENTAL HEALTH ALWAYS COMES FIRST.<3

Nearer the end of exams, the 6 months were up and I started CBT. CBT is great and I have absolutely nothing against it, for some people it 100% can work. I just really didn't get on with the woman I saw and nothing was explained properly to me. I had 7 sessions and then the woman left and I felt even worse than I did before I started the sessions. So I was left to flounder on my own over the summer holidays and then I started uni in September and I was terrified.

Which brings us up to today. I am currently at uni and still overcoming social anxiety. I haven’t really spoken in too much detail about my experiences with anxiety in the past and although I want to and will at some point, I really want to reflect on how I am feeling right now.

When I first got to uni I had mental health appointments every week, I was getting referred to different places and so I was constantly having to talk to people about it. I found this made my anxiety worse as it was always at the front of my mind and I felt labelled. I felt like everything I did was a result of anxiety or that everything I was feeling wasn’t normal and that no one else was feeling it. In actual fact, uni is a massive change for so many people and feeling nervous to go to your first lecture, or scared about meeting people or feeling homesick are perfectly valid feelings that most people felt. I am in no way trying to disregard how for people suffering with anxiety, this all feels 100 times worse and panic attacks are a thing, but whatever emotion you are feeling is valid.

Once I stopped having appointments, I felt like I felt better. I had one anxiety assessment and I couldnt think of any examples to tell her and I thought I was better. In reality , I just hadnt left my room or put myself in a situation that would trigger my anxiety. By living on your own at uni it becomes very easy to avoid situations you don’t want to be in and as i hadn’t made any new friends at this point I wasnt actually socialising with anyone anyway. It sounds bad, but I only realized this yesterday. Since then, I have done things that would have triggered my anxiety, I didn’t force myself to do things quickly, I just stopped saying no to so many things and started giving more things a go.

For my own benefit, so I can look back one day, I’m going to list some examples: 1) train by myself - I first used to get the train one way, so I would either get the train home from uni and mum would bring me back or I would get the train back to uni and mum would pick me up to take me home. Now, I can get the train both ways and I am super proud. I still feel anxious if I am going somewhere new on a train, like when I went to Birmingham, or when I used mobile tickets for the first time, but I don’t avoid doing things that make me anxious anymore.

2) Saying yes to nights out - this goes back to the dancing thing. I love a night out and I find I don’t get anxious on the night out anymore. I do get anxious beforehand and I’m not gong to lie I have rang mum in tears because I am so scared but I haven't turned down a night out and I’m learning to enjoy it and let go.

3) This one is really strange but i would have acted so differently in the past. As part of my access statement, I am allowed to pick the group i work with during groupwork and for presentations. So I chose to be in a group with Katie for Report 3. Then when we changed groups and the tutor told me I could pick a group, instead of just saying ‘okay,’ I asked If i could stay with Katie. It sounds weird I know but I really just wanted to say okay but I really wanted to make sure it was okay if i stayed with Katie.So i am proud i asked.

4) Talking more. I find it easier to talk to family now, like I can actually hold a conversation. I find it difficult still to make friends and to talk to people that aren’t close family, or family in general. I would love to be able to talk to Katie and Alex as if I have known them my whole life and I have faith in myself that one day this day will come haha :’).

I am still working on myself and still trying to better myself. I really want this to be taken as a little encouragement thing,to show that things can get better. Things may not be perfect and exactly how you want them to be but be proud of what you have achieved. You Got This <3

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battlewhiskers · 6 years

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Ah... Soon 2018!

I’m feeling very hopeful for the upcoming year, I have so many plans !

First off I got a big book of food recipes so Im going to start plan weekly what i’ll have for dinner instead of just.. buying what i think i need. Im disgustingly bored of sausages and i hunger for veggies :x Also different variations of food.. like I really want to make a pie or just try out new things! I had my last burger meal for this year, I even plan to cut it off next year.. I know I can’t do that but im going to reduce it to 1 time max per month! Fast food I’ll miss you.. this includes pizza as well. ;;

Also im going to try working one hour extra every day, switching from paid free time and extra paid. I’m going to work more but also have more time off! And for the extra money i make will I pay off loans faster. I have one thats going away this summer and in September will it be exactly 1 year left till my biggest clean-up loan is gone!

Together with this will I slow down my driving (Stay under the speed limit, not be on the speed limit) to push the MPG even further. I’m currently at 43 (0.65L/10km ) and I’m having a 2011 Ford Focus 1.6 EcoBoost 150HP for you curious people :3c I drive about 80 KM daily to work. So selling my old cars surely pushed down my fuel costs, owner cost and pretty much all costs.. Which reduced my anxiety a lot, I used to feel crap every day I drove because my other cars was rather... thirsty (One tuned Alfa and a old diesel Ford)

I live alone again since the summer, or well. I’ve done that before but I’m not way to far away from my family nowadays. Broke my wallet last month to first then buy some furnitures and make it less empty and awful looking home. Sure, its still messy home because im disgusting (actually no im not, but i had it rather rough before) but im working on making it better for myself.

Less anxiety from being in this apartment, less anxiety from having driving costs and less anxiety for having less things to pay off! Going to be less anxiety for not spending too much at food either, yum! (Less waste of food and BIGGER healthier meals!!!)

I think 2017 went pretty well otherwise! I started the year with a new accepting job, feels good that most people there knows im a transwoman. Even better since I have a coworker thats very supportive and correct himself every time he misgender me. I plan to pick up the fight with others when I get my sleeping and eating schedule more correct, no good idea to fight for your rights when youre tired because then you’ll easily slip up and sound just angry and not helpful. I mean, you are angry and upset for being misgendered but think about it. Do we rather help someone who says “Hey could you do this for me” instead of “Do this you fucking pile of trash” ? I prefer the nice way but hey, eventually you’ll burst ;)

Leaving my deadname behind this year.. Birthday and Xmas went pretty decent TBH, even if my family still use my deadname they didnt write it on any presents So I feel theres more hope of getting my deadname completely out of my life. Plus my super slow and annoying investigation is slowly coming to an end, HORMONES HERE I COME !! Next meeting will I bring my parents to see the doctor I havent met for over a year, guess I’ll give it a month or two before I need to start hunting them myself.. most of the appointments been like “Ok we’ll contact you for next meeting” and they all ended up like “Hello im calling for the 3rd time now its been 3 months why aint i getting any appointments thank you???

So... 2018 More money, more voice training, more free time, more TRAVELLING and more.. taking responsibility to feel better. Im going to trash my anxiety, well I cant but I’m going to do so many things to reduce it so much as possible. Its not possible to completely remove something but I used to be VERY introvert. I’m a mix of both these days, draining a lot of energy to talk with strangers but hey it works. Before I used to swallow my own tears to not cry when just asking my teacher for help. These days I dont have a problem with making phone calls or asking for help at stores. But it took time, about 8 years actually.

And some knows that I bought a tablet recently, I’m going to start drawing again because I need it to.. eventually get satisfied with my drawing skills and push down my perfectionism. Before I compared myself to the artists with 10, 15 years experience and thought i was the most absolutely trash artist ever existing and I would never learn to draw blabla. But hey, learning by doing! I’d also like to start writing stories but think that will have to wait.. If I can write long journals like this and I have a rather stuffed mind with too many thoughts sometimes why wouldnt I be able to just put down everything on some paper and write together a story from it?

I also need to thank a bunch of people, who help me stand up for myself, who helped me feeling safe of showing who i am. For giving me, or trying to give me energy to get up again, to never give up of becoming myself. I had many doubts, moments I were close to give up but I didnt, and I still wont.

I love you all, and especially a thing that giva me a huge extra push of energy. ❤

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pbandjesse · 7 years

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I am laying in my bed in my new apartment. Im filthy and my back hurts but you guys. You guys!!! I’m so excited. Today has been hella long and stressful and I didn’t get enough sleep. But I feel happy. I fell asleep really easily last night. But then around 530 dad woke me up by rattling around his vitamin bottles. And then I couldn’t fall back asleep for a long time. I read a little. And was eventually able to pass back out around 7. But then dad woke me up at 830. To tell me I could keep sleeping. Really dad? So yeah I was groggy but awake. I asked if he would bring me a bowl of cereal and I would get ready. I had packed summer clothes but it was pretty chilly outside. So I rewore a dress and leggings from the other day. Its fine. We headed out quickly. And got to my apartment around maybe 10. I don’t actually remeber. Dad cleaned out the truck and I went to work putting bags where they belonged. I listened to MBMBAM. Dad came in and started working on putting together the bed. Which of you remember when I bought it, took about 10 hours. Thankfully this time it took about an hour. And that’s with the sides falling over only narrowly missing hitting him in the head. Mom was on her way with my cat. She got in around 1130. When I went out to meet her she was talking to a guy who apparently just got out of prison after serving 38 years?? And it’s a halfway house across the street. Neat. We took everything in. Hugs were had. I got to meet the parents of the guy who I helped with the couch last night. They were nice enough to let us see what the apartment looked like. It was huge! Way to big for me. But is was a really nice space. And they were very nice people. Before I knew it they were off to return the truck. I worked on the kitchen mostly. Got it almost totally unpacked. And I moved most of the stuff that is going to the studio into the basement space. But I felt like mom and dad were gone for forever. I texted and the place they had gone to was closed so they had to go a little further. And the apparently dad got hit by a train? Like the train brushed the side of the truck. I don’t understand how it happened at all. At least he’s okay. They came back just as I was sitting down to take a break. We discovered how I can buzz people into the apartment and speak to them from my place and that’s just real neat. We all sat down and took a break but quick enough me and mom were off to target. I meant to take us to the one by the harbor but we went the other direction and ended up at a rougher target. Like there was just a lot of stuff on the ground. But it’s okay. I wish I had written down a list but I just felt overwhelmed and couldn’t get myself to do that. But we got just about everything. Except food. I finally have a working vacccum. And it was on sale even. The trip was a bit cheaper then I had expected too so that was cool. Even if she forgot my coupon. I just went to guest services and got my ! $5. The plan after that was to go put all my purchases in the apartment and go to dinner. But when we got back dad said he didn’t know where Sweetp was. And we looked for a while. And couldn’t find him. He wouldnt come out. For food or treats or anything. And I was freaked out. And mad that something had happened. Like he got out of a window or something. As we haven’t gotten them screens yet. We had left the bathroom window cracked. I was just so upset. We went to dinner at a nice place. It was hard to take my mind off my cat but I did my best. Me and dad shared potato skins. The people across from us were being very silly with the waiter. I got veggie fajitas and they were sizzling and making all kinds of noises but they were really good. We got back to the apartment. They dropped me off and went to find parking. I looked all over and eventually I found Sweetp. Under a chair in the basement. He is just real freaked out. I cuddled him and almost cried. I was glad he was okay. But then mom and dad started fighting because mom was upset about people being able to walk up my alley. And dad didn’t like that she was upset but also,wouldn’t let her like vent at him. And I was getting mad because it was all so dumb. Like Jess is my best friend.I know I can rage and vent at her and she would understand and not act like I was angry with her. But dad seems to take it that way. And he keeps saying we need to talk nice to him. Emotion just isn’t rational all the time and I’m not always going to talk nice. It doesn’t mean it’s against you. I don’t know. But I did tell him to stop and that I didn’t want to be in the middle of this and I was just so tired. And I told him that if they couldn’t stop then they had to leave. And I didn’t mean it really but I was just so done. He went and took a walk and me and mom kept working. He came back eventually and kept at it. Everything was calmer after that. Mom put away clothes. I flitted about. Sweetp cried locked in the basement bathroom. Dad fixed the book shelf. They were here until after 8 just plugging away. Mom and me finished making the bed and putting things in the closet. We got a lot accomplished. Once they left I let Sweetp out and got to work on the bedroom and bathroom. I would like to take a shower but I feel weird about it and I don’t know why. Just being in a new place. At least it’s a little put together now. With some wall decorations and a shower curtain. I also put away almost all my books and I feel good. I also feel hungry and tired. So now I’m going to shower and find a snack and get some shut eye. There’s crickets here. Its nice. Good night everyone. Be safe out there.

#ootd #selfie #babe #new apartment #moving #roadtrip #cat #weird dog #tired #sunday

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