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raspberryjellybrains · 2 years

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Infinity Adds Up

characters: magnus chase

fandom: mcga

words: ~500

warnings: discussion of graphic violence, existentialism, depressive topics

description: an action, once done enough, loses all meaning. death is like that, or at least magnus hopes it is.

I am on mobile and the cut post feature does not work. if this will trigger you, now is the time to scroll super fast by.

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Magnus thinks that in 10, 20, 40, 100 years he'll get used to the feeling of a fight. The adrenaline will stop its blinding rush, panic fueled limbs flying through the battle field (kill revive tiptoe kill defend-) and he wil be able to regard battle with the cool logic and calculated movements of Valhalla's older residents.

He knows this is when he will become numb, everyone he loved and knew in life dead, and he is scared. He knows that the numbness will prevent him from hurting about it, and he is less scared.

There is an illusion of luxury in this place, the desperate scrabbling cover of immortals to make up for the fact that they're so fucking empty except for the times they get maim each other. The only thing that can pierce their fogged vision is wrath, sharp and unfettered, misplaced at those that slight them rather than the cruel march of time of time ending in a battle which renders everything pointless. Valhallans will see stars die, and they will be the ones with the dust of the universe spread across their hands like so many centuries of blood.

But at least the towels are soft.

Magnus knows all of this, knows it in the marrow of his undead bones, producing and rotating blood in endless circles until it is broken with the tip of a spear or a bullet or sometimes a silver garrote. Sometimes he thinks he knows too much for this place, thinks of Halfborn with all of his degrees and blind faith, thinks of Annabeth with her careful cynical hope, and he thinks of Alex and his 3am existentialism and knows he doesn't. Everyone knows as much, too, they just ignore it.

Magnus was never much good at ignoring things, never good at being numb. His emotions demanded to be felt, covering him in waves all encompassing feeling in way that made his skin crawl. This is why he panics, why he cannot fight.

Why, even after 400 years, he walks onto the battlefield of Ragnarok all the more mind fucking than in his relative youth, there is no sense of relief.

All he feels fear.

#listen. if its garbage let me know but i am feeling emotions rn.#there is a stunning lack of magnus angst in this fandom. so i must provide.#sorry if this comes across as a little tonally weird im used to spn flavor angst so its a bit of an adjustment #probably gonna rb when its not ass oclock #valhallas fucked tho #why would you give a 16 year old a minibar key. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.#how many alcoholics are here. do they have ANY mental health support system?#no because anger is grief let sit and harden #good god theres so much to analyze about this depiction of valhalla this is just the tip of the iceberg #ppl will straight up fade out of existence from depression and everyones like #L. rip tho ig.#WTF????#sorry #my angry brain is on #mcga #mcga fanfic #magnus chase #tw violence #tw existential dread

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celestialalpacaron · 3 months

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Behave yourselves BOTH OF YOU 💀 Anyways have this crumb while I work on the main Overlord Husk AU comic lolol

#they’re literally so cute I’m so angry #just hold hands pls or hug hhhhhhh #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #overlord husk au #hazbin angel dust #THEY LIVE IN MY BRAIN RENT FREE

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nouverx · 6 days

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*proceeds to drink the whole bottle*

Yeah Alastor you're gonna be loved and appreciated wether you want it or not :)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin alastor #hazbin rosie #radiorose #platonic radiorose #qpr radiorose #even tho they have no idea what label to put on their relationship at this point #hazbin comic #comic #my art #autodesk sketchbook #it probably looks ooc from alastor to react like this but poor man has only learned his whole life that relationships have a hierarchy #“marriage > a simple friendship” in his brain and it's confusing for him that Rosie would put her friendship with him over that #also Rosie was pissed of how terrible her date went and as soon as she comes home Alastor sides with her ex husband #just to explain why she got angry so quickly basically they couldnt really understand each other that's why they got angry #I love cute fluffy radiorose but its good to see them argue sometimes eheh #I needed to get this idea out of my system and made it into a whole comic

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 7 months

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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

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mblue-art · 5 months

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angy

#lust!sans #mblue art #shading prac #wanted my brain to have a solid visual of what he'd prolly look like when he's angy (well;; not /too/ angry here but yea)#(i think that's very hot of him)#i want to hold his hand and hug him and and and #give him all the niceys tell him nice things i want him happy and safe and comfortable and #:( kiss heem. make him feel loved af

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kyurochurro · 3 months

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to BARKLY go where no PET has GONE BEFORE!!!!1!

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sad-leon · 8 months

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When your greif becomes so overpowering that you break shit, but now you're left empty and with just as much greif as you started with, if not more.

Anyways- guess who was listening to Lost One's Weeping again :D (it was me, i am so normal over that song)

#sad•leonart #really putting the sad in sad-leon #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #rise leonardo #not gonna become an au #but imagine leo recoverying from the prison dimension.. down to one sword.. and full of angry greif #and he takes that greif out on physical objects and breaks his last sword #now he's down an arm.. down two swords.. and it feels like it was all for naught #i think i've been reading too many aftermath fics.. anways.. off to write an aftermath fic #oh yeah #i also just found rishie-p's miku v4x solid cover of lost ones weeping and it changed my brain chemistry /pos #i think i spelt grief wrong that entire time #oh well

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pinkysberg · 9 months

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i am always thinking about this video

#like an angry cat #he said 😠#i hate him so much why won't he vacate my BRAIN!!!!!!#rdr2 #john marston #tiktok

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terranceholdsapencil · 18 days

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"Run."

Human Nature/Family of blood [redraw]

Old one from last year under the cut 👍

"It's empty!"

"Wheres it gone?"

"You tell me"

"Oooh, I think the explanation might me youve been fooled by a simple olfactory misdirection. A little bit like ventriloquism of the nose. Its an elementary trick in certain parts of the galaxy. But it has got to be said, I dont like the look of that hydrokinometer. It seems to be indicating youve got energy feedback all the way through the retrostabilisers feeding bAck into the primary heat converters. oH! Schh. Cause if theres one thing you shouldnt have done, you shouldnt have let me press all those buttons.

BUt, in fairness, i will give you one word of advice.

RUN! :D

#doctor who #doctor who fanart #dr who fanart #10th doctor #tenth doctor #the family of blood #human nature #you dont understand the impact of this scene on my brain #i am physically incapable of not quoting that monologue #silly man #silly and angry #redraw #david tennant #david ten-nant

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maretriarch · 29 days

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Just in time for 4/13 here's the second line of my r63 dolls, this time CREEPover themed with bonus accessories! in an ideal world they would come in adorable recuperacoon shaped packaging. and probably a sopor slime making kit because kids love slime. which one are YOU picking up from your local Goreget today?

#my art #homestuck #tavros nitram #sollux captor #gamzee makara #karkat vantas #equius zahhak #eridan ampora #sorry this took literally over a year to draw i was extremely ill with a brain parasite #i would do a lot differently now but dhdhdhdhshs whatever #a deluxe set would have like sollux with a bunk bed type recuperacoon or maybe an eridan lagoona hydration station type thing #or tiny lusus pets i almost did that for eq a tiny knee height sized aurthour carrying like milk and cookies on a platter on his back #other playsets would include a giant bee hive mainframe/90s clunky home computer desk for sollux a very fancy bathtub playset gamzee would #have a little kitchen set that made sopor pie like those diy chapstick playsets #also the packaging i was picturing it would be like flap style like those halloween rainbow high ones but with a little green tinted window #where the recuperacoon holes are so you can see the doll through it #a teeny polished marble style weight lifting set for equius would also be really good....maybe half marble half like the decrepit robotic #aesthetic he has going on #peep the little details but also not too much. mostly please laugh at karkats pajamas ive been laughing at them for a year also the pizza #was supposed to be an angry karkat face

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thenewtitans60page22 · 1 year

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Something something inheritances

Jason, half dead with the league, still flipping the way Dick taught him

Tim throwing punches the way he learned watching Jason on shaky phone footage he obsessively watched as a kid

Damian smiling Dick’s robin smile, having learned it at Dicks side

#jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #damian wayne #I have lots of thoughts #they’re brothers and they all hold the same legacy #even if none of them grew up together they still picked things up #Tim would sit in his dads home office at a big box computer and spend hours searching for Batman and Robin footage #Jason learned part of his fighting style from dick and no matter how brain dead or angry he was he’d still have that muscle memory #honestly Jason still visibly showing traits of Dick and Bruce while he was most angry with them gets me #also Jason avoiding everyone but still running into Tim and seeing Robin traits from both Dick and himself #anyways there’s a Robin ‘you’re dying in my arms but I don’t want you to know that’ smile they use on civilians that they all share #my post

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yorufi · 3 months

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i should get used to posting sketches here, so here are kaalaa and fairy in suits <:

oh and a little portrait of the prettiest, most kissable face (´ ε ` )♡

#reverse 1999 #r1999 #re1999 #kaalaa baunaa #reverse 1999 kaalaa baunaa #reverse 1999 black dwarf #artist on tumblr #twi is like a brain tumor of all soc media #everytime i log in i either cry or get angry #and i mentioning twi because i put sketches there as i draw them #and when it’s enough i put a pile of them here #oh god my grammar left my body sorry #too tired to correct my mistakes #anyway fun fact kaalaa’s suit is inspired by what hwasa wore when they all perfore #…md in suits #if you crawl into my monkey brain you’ll see _that_ live performance of mamamoo

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procrastinationaccount · 1 year

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Gideon + Cavalierhood

"The next thing she heard was Kiriona, urgently saying, 'Take it. Take it from anywhere. Take all of it ... Kill me.'"

#specifically Gideon correcting the chair leg with her foot is everything to me.#This is how she behaves when she's driven to distraction with grief and survivor's guilt and actively thinks harrow is angry with her.#the locked tomb #griddlehark #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #sixth besties come back 😭#the repetition of the term sentiment and the progression of Gideon picking up Harrow when she falls are worms and they are eating my brain

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disconnected-dragon · 7 months

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yknow I really didn't think it was possible to make me angrier at JK Rowling but then I found out she wrote a book abt an autistic person being sucked into a cult (that's totally not an analogy for trans people what you talking abt) because they just can't possibly know what's good for them, they need their fathers to come and hire private investigators to get them out of a cult. And in the book autistic people are referred to by the r slur and called "a bit simple".

I didn't think it was possible for me to hate this paternalistic, honeyed head-patting, self-righteous, hate-driven HAG of a woman more than I did but fuck me here we are.

#terfs dont fucking touch #anti gender critical #anti radfem #not to toot my own horn or whatever but when midsommar came out i legit had a 'oh my god is anyone seeing this?' momen #because everyone was talking abt how it was a 'happy ending' for dani like she didnt just get inducted into a violent cult #but heyyyyyyy thats just me what do i know #its not like im the owner of this brain or anything #OBVIOUSLY a british terf that lives in a FUCKING CASTLE and has NEVER MET ME EVER IN HER LIFE knows me better then i know myself :)))))))#anti gc #trans rights #ableism tw #tw ableist language #i hate jk rowling i hate her i hate her i hate her so muchhhhhhh #anti jkr #fuck jkr #had to edit the tags because i realized 'jk rowling' attracted terfs and i dont fucking want that noise #im already fucking angry im not taking being talked down to because im autistic

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bernard-the-rabbit · 5 months

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uh oh women doomed by the narrative!!!!

#i went to see Clitemnestra #and italian play based on the book “house of names” by toibin colm #and man do i have the brain bugs #im also very very gay for isabella ragonese and seeing her slowly descending into this angry madness #man #ISABELLA I'M FREE AND SINGLE BTW #my trashy art #clytemnestra #Iphigenia #Elektra #electra #cw: blood

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artsymeeshee · 2 years

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╰( ^o^)╮╰( ^o^)╮

#gravity falls #stanford pines #mabel pines #grunkle ford #comic #my art #wanted to put dialogue but brain said too much work lol #ford & mabel bonding #I’ve drawn angry ford a lot lately so a happy ford is a nice change

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