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#mutual unhealthy obsession is one of my favorite tropes ever
montammil · 5 months
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TW: Stalking, yandere whumper, kinda nsfw? really just suggestive, whumpee is just as batshit insane as whumper
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Imagine an obsessed Whumper who stalks Whumpee all day.
NOW imagine a Whumpee that enjoys the attention. They tease Whumper while keeping their innocent and unknowing facade, all while Whumper becomes more and more obsessed, their patience and limits being pushed.
It's very amusing to just imagine Whumpee purposefully dressing up in revealing clothing because they know it'll send Whumper wild (and hurt/kill anyone who flirts with them).
Whumpee knowing Whumper breaks into their house at night and going to sleep naked/wearing lingerie on purpose, sometimes making movements that they know Whumper loves.
Whumpee crying when someone (especially their coworker) says something mean to them because they know that person will never be seen again.
They're just happily waiting until Whumper can't take it anymore.
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mysticstarlightduck · 2 months
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Hello hello
8 Oldest WIP
25 Favourite part of writing
42 How do you feel about love triangles?
Hello! Thank you so much for the ask, @i-can-even-burn-salad!
8. Oldest WIP
My oldest WIP that I'm currently still working on, is The Last Wrath, a book series that I started around 3-4 years ago. It's a story that I'm very excited about seeing published, though it is currently on a small hiatus as I am focusing on my other WIPs (mainly Enchanted Illusions and Of Starlight and Beasts)!
As for the oldest story that I ever created (and am no longer working on) that could be considered an actual WIP was a book I started - and never finished lmao - when I was 10 years old, if I recall it correctly the book was a story about three sisters who were rebel princesses trying to save their kingdom from their uncle, or something along those lines! I had created many, many, many stories before that one (ever since I first learned how to write I was already creating fictional worlds and stories), but that one was the first I can consider an actual "book" or WIP, even if it never got finished!
25 Favourite part of writing
Creating backstories! That is my all-time favorite part of writing any book or creating any character. For me, backstories are especially fun to write because they're the moment the character finally "clicks" in my mind, that's the moment where I truly understand a character's history, motives, beliefs, and what made them into who they are in the current events of the book! It's like a puzzle piece finally coming into place, and it's a really satisfying part of any first draft or outline for me! Plus, backstories are the heart of most of the main internal conflict a character can have - every misbelief, fear or insecurity always has a starting point, and that starting point is almost always hidden somewhere in the backstory.
42 How do you feel about love triangles?
Hmm. Tough question! For starters, I would say that the traditional "love triangles" (where, for example, two guys are in love with the same girl and she is in love with them but "can't choose which one". The typical YA Romance Trope. It feels very awkward, IMO, on both ends and a bit objectifying, both for the girl and the boys - it's more of a "love corner" than a love triangle) are one of my personally least favorite tropes, and it's one I never write and don't think I ever will.
HOWEVER!!!! A variation of a "love triangle" (I don't know if it can even be considered that, but bear with me) that I do adore writing, is when, for example: Person B is in love with Person A, and Person C is in love with Person A too, but the love between Person B and A is actually requited and mutual (Person A is in love with Person B too), while Person C's infatuation with A is more of an obsessive, unhealthy crush than anything, and surely is not mutual (Person A doesn't love Person C in any way, shape or form). Person B and A end up together, while C usually spirals into a villain that eventually defeats themself.
For a better example: In my WIP, Enchanted Illusions, Augustus and Harriet are very much in love with one another, and clearly in a relationship (think of them as Person B and Person A in that scenario). However, Liam has been pining for Harriet since they were teens, and despite her explaining many times that she isn't interested in a relationship with him, Liam still harbors an unhealthy "love" for Harriet - believing that one day he can get her hand in marriage through political arrangements. (In this case, Liam is Person C). Harriet loves Augustus, not Liam, but Liam is obsessively in love with her. Throughout the story, Augustus and Harriet must deal with the threat of Liam's increasingly dangerous attempts to ruin their relationship so that he can marry Harriet. When that fails, Liam becomes an antagonist who is hellbent on having his revenge on the Sharppe family.
Another example of this would be the movie Megamind, where Roxanne and Megamind fall in love, but Hal Stewart (holding an obsessive love for Roxanne) thinks she needs to be his girlfriend. Or Beauty and the Beast, where Adam and Belle are in love and Gaston is just obsessed with Belle.
I don't know if this is even a variation of the Love Triangle (since one side of the triangle is two characters who are indeed in love and the other is just unrequited pining by someone more obsessive than they should be) trope, but it is infinitely more interesting for me than the actual original trope. Like, there's more room for growth, conflict and tensions there - how do Person B and Person A respond to the constant pressure of C's pining for one of them? does this affect their relationship or do they remain as close as ever? how far will the misguided Person C go to achieve their goal? would they lose themself in the process or understand that they were in the wrong? SO MANY OPTIONS!
I hope I can explain this jumbled mess of a thought in one post! But that was a great question (:
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further Pandon't archive filing - what are your favourite kinds of aus? what kinds of fics do you look for?
Ooh okay so. I usually only read crackfics and angst, but heavy angst and dark fics are definitely my favorites.
In the bnha fandom specifically my favorite tags/tropes are dfo, villain izuku, traitor [insert anyone in class 1a], dadmight, roleswap, and bad end.
Anything with family or relationship drama is VERY good, especially if said family or relationship drama occurs across the dividing line of protagonist and antagonist. Friends to enemies and lovers to enemies are also great, especially if there's lingering feelings of affection between the two that they feel they need to overcome/come to terms with.
Stories that are fatalistic or existential really pique my interest, especially if the protagonist has to grapple with either or both concepts. The realization that nothing is okay and never will be okay as well as the immidiate fallout of said realization are always very fun in literature.
Corruption arcs are my absolute bread and butter, I'd live and die for them. Hero to villain, loss of faith, and grapling with urges/instincts beyond one's control are very good. Bonus points if there's psychological horror involved.
Transition from one state of being to another is another favorite, especially if said transformation is an ascension to godhood or sudden acquisition of power. It's very fun to see characters forced to wield responsibility they aren't qualified for, especially when they didn’t ask for it. Bonus points if the person who gave them the power wants them to use it in a way they don't personally approve of.
Body horror is also really good, especially if it's got some psychological elements for flavor. Existential horror is also pretty fun because of the dread that usually comes along with it. All three together and I'm never putting the fic down.
Obsession is a very fun theme to play around with, as are control and order vs chaos. Any narrative that strips control from a character and forces them to live with it until they snap and turn the tables is a lot of fun! Free will is basically the same thing, but fics that play around with it absolutely own me.
The child soldier trope is also a personal favorite of mine, especially when it makes a protagonist jaded or causes them to lose faith in a system they previously revered and trusted. Blind faith is also nice in the case that it results in a divide between those who approve and disapprove. Fics that actually explore these aspects of the trope are top notch in my book.
Deception is great, especially if the person being deceived forms a strong connection to the deceiver. I want big, dramatic fallout! Guilt or a disturbing lack thereof! Regret!
Gray morality is also amazing, I don't think any story should ever have a clear, unquestionable right and wrong side. I love it when the lesser of two evils still does very evil things but under the guise of the greater good. The protagonist can either recognize these faults and fight to change them, or resign themselves in support at the expense of their moral fiber. Both are good.
My favorite kind of romantic fics have like. Really fucked up romances. Lots of conflict, be it via subtle manipulation and power imbalances, unhealthy codependency, mutual hatred that is only slightly overpowered by love, one-sided interest that is used by the uniterested party, or star-crossed lovers who meet a tragic end in some form. Fluffy romances are the only way to go irl, but I'm reading to be entertained. It's gotta have drama.
Speaking of which, manipulation in general is very fun! Love me some mind games and strategic ploys! Self destructive characters are also really good, love it when fics give someone a problem and have them destroy themselves over it, whether intentionally or subconsciously.
Anyways that was a lot, and don't get me wrong, there's even more, but I'm gonna stop now to spare you the extra word count.
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makeste · 4 years
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I just wanna enable you to talk more about Katsuki so. top 5 (or 10, or however many you feel like) Bakugou romantic ships? not like number 1 will be a surprise but hey ;p
ah, shipping. the perfect topic with which to take a breather from leg puns and the quirkless!Bakugou debate. nothing controversial about ships lmao.
disclaimer: these are literally just my favorite Bakugou ships, as asked. I have few to no NOTPs, and I’m not anti-anything, nor do I have any opinions on whether or not any of these will or should become canon (as it really makes no difference to me, since I ship them all platonically as well). basically I have no skin in the “shipping somehow has winners and losers” game. I’m just here for the emotional energy and the lulz and the character development.
anyways this is a top six because I couldn’t bear to leave either of my two favorite rarepairs out whoops.
BakuDeku - like you said anon, not a surprise lol. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; for me, these two are the core of the series. honestly it sometimes strikes me as ironic that this ship is so often written off as abusive or unhealthy or toxic, because I often find myself thinking that roughly 90% of all of Bakugou and Deku’s problems could be sorted out just by them communicating with each other. and I don’t mean just their own specific relationship problems -- I mean all of their problems. Bakugou is having an emotional crisis about something? have him talk to Deku. Deku’s overwhelmed by a problem and way overthinking it? have him talk to Bakugou! they balance each other out, is the thing. when one of them veers off course, the other is the compass to steer them back on track. that’s the power of rivals!! and aside from that, this relationship is just so complex, and I am weak for absolutely all of it. it’s just this perfect blend of push and pull and friction and trust. it’s the type of ship where the two of them have such a strong connection that it’s like gravity; they can’t help but orbit the other, even when that orbit is sometimes unsteady. it’s just such a powerful bond and just... guh. I have way too many emotions about it so I am just going to STOP NOW and move on to the next ship.
TodoBaku - so by now we have reached a point where pretty much everyone in class 1-A is an expert on handling Bakugou, and ngl, it’s my favorite thing ever. but what makes the TodoBaku relationship so especially appealing is that Shouto is completely unafraid to just step right up and declare his friendship to the entire world. Todoroki “I’m calling it like it is” Shouto, who, after giving the matter careful consideration, correctly judged himself and Bakugou to be the closest of friends, and thus decided that they should intern together and he should introduce him to his family and get his sister to cook his favorite foods. and the entire time, Bakugou is all “please no one listen to this delusional freak, we are not friends at all,” even as he proceeds to get himself involved in all of the Todoroki family drama, and saves Shouto’s brother’s life, and learns all of his sister’s recipes, and presumably cries himself to sleep at night wondering how he could have let this happen.
Kacchako - what I like about Ochako’s relationship with Katsuki is that she’s one of the few people who’s not afraid to call him out on his shit. she’s not just warmly tolerant of him like some of the others; she has expectations of him, and will unabashedly express her sound disappointment if he fails to be the person she knows he’s capable of being. I feel like Ochako has no patience for him taking his sweet time with his character development, and is just “goddammit young man, just sort your shit out with Deku already and go back to being best friends like you both so clearly want, and while you’re at it please try to treat other people less like garbage”, and various other things that are all true but that he of course hates to hear, but TOO BAD lol. anyway so I love that, and I love that she’s just as stubborn as he is. and I also love that there’s genuine, mutual respect between the two of them as well. never forget that Katsuki is the one who first brought out Ochako’s homicidal badass side. anyway so they basically complement each other very well, and I have my fingers crossed that one of these days Horikoshi will decide to actually have them interact with each other again because damn.
KiriBaku - Kirishima, on the other hand, is warmly tolerant of Bakugou, and openly admiring of him even, but it tends to be in a way that brings out Bakugou’s best qualities. Kiri just has this way of bringing out Bakugou’s confidence in himself. like, he’s very good at saying precisely the right words to make Bakugou grin that smirky little grin of his, the one that’s all “oh yeah, that’s right, I’m a badass.” and seeing as Bakugou, for all his pride and bluster, is surprisingly prone to having mini crises of confidence, this is a valued skill that I’m very grateful to Kiri for having! and what’s nice is that Bakugou is very good at returning the favor, since Kiri is prone to crises of confidence as well. the little flashback right before Kiri unveils Unbreakable for the first time is one of my favorite moments in the series. when this ship is firing on all cylinders they really bring out the best in each other. and also they are both dumb bros which is an extremely undervalued dynamic. I love it when Bakugou is all “HEY KIRISHIMA LET ME BLOW YOU UP A BIT” and Kiri is just like “YEAHHHH!” heh.
KamiBaku - and now for the first of the two rarepairs! first of all I would just like to state that I absolutely cannot fathom why KamiBaku is a rarepair to begin with, unless it’s simply because everyone is already too obsessed with the previously mentioned ships. but at any rate it’s a damn shame, because the cuteness of this ship is off the fucking charts, and right now it’s all just going to waste. what I adore more than anything about this ship is the way Bakugou tolerates every single fucking thing Kaminari does and LETS HIM GET AWAY WITH IT. he lets him call him “Kacchan.” he lets Kaminari manhandle him into various getups (the A Band shirt; the Santa outfit) on multiple occasions while putting up absolutely no fight. he basically allows him an almost unprecedented level of closeness, which Kaminari proceeds to BLATANTLY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF at every turn seemingly unchecked! and he is the all time champ at tricking Bakugou into participating in social interactions (tying the ribbon to his foot during the Christmas gift exchange, telling him he won’t get any food at the New Year’s feast if he doesn’t help cook, etc.). he just loves him and wants him to be included. honestly this one of the most adorable relationships in the entire goddamn series and I am tired of it being slept on. the people deserve more KamiBaku dammit.
IidaBaku - last but not least, a relationship between two people who I’m pretty sure have only actually interacted with each other a handful of times, and most of those times involved them shouting at each other! ah, yes. the stick in the mud and the delinquent. god’s natural enemies. except that in this case the “delinquent” is a star student who tutors other kids and goes to bed every night at 8:30, and the stick in the mud once hatched a legitimate plot to kill a man. what I am trying to say is that these two are actually WAY more alike than they would ever care to admit, and I’m kind of obsessed with it?? this is one of those ships where all it would take is one well-applied trope and the possibilities are endless. you could literally just pick one out of a hat. fake dating, roommates, only one bed, undercover as lovers, WHATEVER. and not only does this have the potential to be the most hilarious ship in the history of time, but it also has potential to be disarmingly, shockingly sweet, I shit you not. there are a couple of little moments in the light novels that I absolutely adore, where they’re each taking care of the other with the other having absolutely no idea. Iida makes about four attempts to tuck Bakugou in during the forest training camp arc because his covers have fallen off and he doesn’t want him to catch a chill, and Bakugou unknowingly returns the favor by preventing Iida from stumbling across the preparations for his own surprise birthday party before the others are finished getting ready. by shoving Iida into an elevator and ordering him to go back to his room with absolutely no explanation given lmao. anyway, but the point is the potential is definitely there for cuteness and chemistry and mutual respect while arguing nonstop like an old married couple.
so there you go! honestly Bakugou somehow has chemistry with just about everyone in his class, which is super impressive for someone with the personality of a rabid wolf spider. god bless him.
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thunderheadfred · 4 years
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Fred’s WrightWorth Fic Recs
or: slowburn fics that made Fred stay up all night because they were too good to put down
this is only a little baby list, and probably everybody knows about these already. I’m still new to this fandom, but hgngngngngngngnnggg I’m in deep
(chaptered, completed fics only)  
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Begone Dull Care 
by VivaRocksteady - M, 46k
Phoenix Wright is an emergency room nurse, and Miles Edgeworth is having a really bad night.
This instantly became one of my favorite fics in any fandom, ever. Miles goes through a psych ward, and I didn’t know how badly I needed to see him get his shit together. 
 As someone who has personally been through a crisis or two, the catharsis is real. Psychoanalysis, mindfulness, and a smidgen of romance with an emphasis on emotional rather than sexual tension. 
Warnings: Suicidal ideation and self harm, though it all gets better. So, so much better.
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A Turnabout Toast 
by ideny - Not Rated (T), 68k
Post-GS4, an estranged Phoenix and Miles respond to a friendly challenge from an unexpected source: do three things each to fix your lives.
The characterizations in this fic are so good. Miles and Phoenix feel like actual 30-somethings, living actual lives, rather than awkward teenagers failing to act on some mutual crush. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good emotionally immature fic trope any time, any place, but this was a breath of fresh air. Even Larry becomes unexpectedly mature in this fic - in a Larry sort of way. 
Also? The conceit that WrightWorth only works once they fix themselves - rather than the other way around - feels far healthier and more grounded than most get-together fics. It also set up some brilliant Consequences-of-Kristoph headcanons that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to shake. I loved every sentence.
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Dive Down & More, Now, Again 
by ElAurianBarkeep - E, 48k
Phoenix was not entirely unaware that his near obsession with Miles Edgeworth over so many years was not the model of good emotional health, but that was something he didn’t wish to examine too closely.
Hey do you want some angst????? Have some heckin angst, my dudes. The style of this series is chilling and sexy and horrible down to the very sentence structure. It’s amazing? So far I’ve drooled over everything this author has written, but fair warning that if you want happy and healthy WrightWorth, look elsewhere. But man. This has maybe the best first kiss of all time. Like falling down an elevator shaft. I mean. Appropriate. 
Here’s hoping they continue the series and give them some closure. Eventually.
Warnings: This is not the domestic fluff you are looking for. Codependency and poor communication and impossibly bad coping strategies abound. Also an unhealthy amount of boning.
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il suo nido 
by butterflyswimmer - Not Rated (T), 80k
Post-AA4. Of seven year gaps, misunderstandings, and being hauled into (supposedly) radio competition-won trips to the Mediterranean.
There are some startlingly gorgeous passages in this. Captures heartache and nostalgia and the bittersweetness of growing older in a downright scarily skillful way. Definitely makes you want to smash Phoenix and Miles together and scream at them to JUST TALK, but to be fair, every other character in the fic is thinking the exact same thing, so at least you’ll have company. And oh boy. The COMPANY. If you need found family, you hit the jackpot. 
A little typo-laden and inconsistent in places, but considering that this was apparently the author’s first foray into fiction writing and they probably didn’t have the benefit of a beta, I’m dumbfounded by the story’s overall quality; it’s painfully beautiful.
Warnings: It’s left pretty vague, but there’s some implications of abusive previous Kristoph/Phoenix in the background. Also seriously depressed Phoenix. Miles too, but that’s sorta his baseline. Seeing Phoenix sad is like seeing the sun snuffed out.
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I’m sure there are more I’m forgetting but these are the ones that made me stare off into the distance and go “wowwwwww”
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searchingforbucky · 5 years
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FIC RECS (Part 5) :)
Okay we are going to try this again lol. I hope I got everyone I was intending to!This one is LONG so buckle up babes. 
The request was for Cop!Bucky fics, by anonymous. Now I am SO excited to share this list because Cop Bucky is my top 2 favorite AU’s and actually the first AU I ever read for Bucky. So its incredibly close to my heart, and so are these fics. I hope everyone enjoys! :) (I start with Series, then go to One-Shots) 💖💕💗💓
In the Arms of Justice by @avengerofyourheart
Okay, this was actually the first full Cop!Bucky fic I ever read and let me tell you, it was an amazing bridge into what is now an unhealthy obsession lol. This fic is so well done. I love the way Anika plays with details in her stories. Every word has you hanging on, no stone is left unturned, no detail forgotten. This one, especially if you go back and read it a second time, you see all of the tiny foreshadowing she does. Its such a good mysterious fic. Its absolutely amazing the Protective/Soft Bucky on top of that is the best ever. Please read it twice to be able to fully realize the beauty.
Heart & Soul by @all1e23
This one is an ABO fic, and oh man is it good. This fic is just so heartbreakingly beautiful. Allie is dedicated, in all of their stories, to being as truthful to true human experiences and this is just another example. The emotion is so real and painful and I can somehow picture to all of these experiences even though I’ve never had them myself, solely because of the way they write. This is a story about trauma, trust, loyalty, and personal strength. Theres murder mystery and fluff all in  a lovely package.  The relationships between her and every one of the characters is so well drawn out, its just such a heartwarming fic.
The Witness by @wkemeup
Words tend to evade me when I try to explain my love for this fic, but I need I need to make sure its recognized. Bucky is soft and just wants the reader to be safe, the reader is self sufficient and headstrong. My favorite pairing. This story is honestly something that changed the way I read Bucky fics. It was the first story of hers I have ever read, and never have I gotten more lost in a story than this. Before this, I would mainly focus on dialogue of a story, and other important bits. This was so beautifully done, and packed with detail and emotion in the smallest sentences I made sure I didn’t miss a single thing. Also, the way she writes the aftermath in her Drabble/epilogue are so truthful to life and recovery. Ugh, just an amazing read.
Deception by @revengingbarnes 
This story is unlike the others I’ve read before. I LOVE undercover fics, don’t get me wrong, but a lot of the time they are set in this perfect world with no repercussions. This fic is so damn raw and honest and real. It shows the pain and aftermath that is unavoidable from situations like these, the emotion from Bucky and the Reader seeps through every word making it impossible not to get invested into them and their love. Not everything in life is perfect, there isn’t always that one happy ending, and this fic shows that. There is bumps and bruises and you won’t know whats coming until it happens but thats what makes it beautiful. 
Seven Thirty by @nacho-bucky 
So this one is absolutely the cutest thing ever. Its technically a cop!bucky but its not like the main factor in the story, but Im including it anyways because its too amazing to not! This has UNCLE BUCKY, oh my god thats my favorite soft Bucky trope and its done again here so well. Bucky is needs help with a kid, she works with kids, what could go wrong??? Nothing! Because this is a story of two awkwardly adorable individuals being roped into the cutest relationship ever by a sneaky little girl. This story is Witten so well, every detail paints the best picture of utter domesticity and love and I cannot get over it. Especially the little drabbles accompanying it? Be still my heart. 
Ride With Me by @jurassicbarnes 
Now this one is a treat, we’ve got Cop!Bucky and Biker!Reader (whaaaat?? Biker reader??) Yes! So unique right? And its so well done too. This is about the cutest thing because you have no gender stereotypes whoop whoop! You have soft shy Bucky (who tries so hard to hide it, oh my love), and a badass reader! Its so unique and absolutely adorable. I feel like this needs to be made into a romance movie, I would watch the hell out of it. Its like perfect YA romance I'm telling you! Opposites attract and lead to a work of art in disguise as a Bucky Fanfic. Also, I want Natasha to be my Best Friend :( 
Sweet as Cinnamon by @propertyofpoeandbucky 
It wouldn’t be a proper Cop!Bucky list without some Chubby Bucky! In there! Now, wanna know who’s sweet as cinnamon? Bucky Barnes in this fic (more like a compilation of one-shots). We have a single dad, divorced, insecure, chubby Bucky, and we all know what that leads to? Me in an absolute puddle of love and fluff. The relationship he has with the reader and his daughter are the most pure things I’ve ever been lucky enough to read. I love sneaky kids man, and oh does he have one! All of Leilanis fics are so good, but something about this Universe really just sticks in my heart. Amazingly well written, 10/10 would read every single one again. 
Good Cop, Bad Cop by @cametobuyplums 
Okay, another thing that makes this list complete? A smutty fic (again more of a compilation of one shots). This fic is damn good. Its kinda like SAC in the way of Bucky is a single, insecure, divorced, chubby father. But plot twist! Reader is a young sexy police chief that just wants her man, Bucky. Let the fun ensue! No seriously though, besides the smut, this series is incredibly well done. You wouldn’t expect many heartfelt moments in a fic like tis, but thats the beauty of it. I love reading stories where Bucky just gets loved up and fights his insecurities. If you like reading smut, I guarantee you will love this fic!
Sunshine by @thottybarnes 
Let me squeal about this one real quick. I just recently read it and I LOVED it. Honestly any story that has beefy Bucky is always gonna be a good one for me, but beefy Bucky AND soft, baby fever having Bucky? Oh my heart cant take it. This fic is absolutely adorable. I love how fun and light hearted it is, and the details they put in the background are to die for. Such a good fic if you want fluff, and Cop!Bucky all in one fantastic package. The way she rights the reader also just makes me feel like a good person and who doesn’t love that? All in all, the story is amazing, and now I want a baby with beefy Bucky :(
Anyone Except You by @maid-of-mourne-shore  
Okay so this one is definitely different than the ones I’ve listed so far. This one is a little intense. Definitely needs a trigger warning especially with the current US gun situation. Anyways, if you can handle it, please read it. Its a beautifully raw story that portrays that trauma for an outsider so well. I was on the edge of my seat, heart hurting. Bucky Is so soft, the mutual pining is there, the protective Bucky is there, the flangst is there. Its really, really good.
Uniformed by @bucky-plums-barnes
Oh my dear Gen, another wonderful fic from her. This story is absolutely so unique in the way its set up. The sections being introduced like a hospital case had me hooked from word one. I love a hard to get fic, especially when it involves a cocky Bucky and a take no nonsense reader! This fic has its fun times, but it also gets some angsty moments of just raw emotion and understanding between two people in difficult career paths, its truly beautiful. Also, UNCLE BUCKY makes an appearance :)
And finally, last but not least 
Reassurance by @ofheroesandvillains
Obviously I’m a sucker for insecure chubby Bucky. He gets a little green here not gonna lie, makes him about 50x cuter. We get it Bucky, she’s your wife (so you say) and not his. This fic issuer cute, I love me a reassuring reader, because I know I would say the same in that situation. You feel the love between the characters, its not an overwhelming display of love, but its truthful to life and real feelings, and I love it so. 
If you read to the end of this long list, bless your heart and I love you so much. I’m not a writer, so my grammar is probably bad, and I basically just write in a stream of consciousness lol, so sorry for that! I hope you love the fics on here as much as I do! Till next time my loves. 
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dicecast · 6 years
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End of Evangeline doesn’t know itself
     So a major theme of End of Eva is a giant “Fuck you” to Otaku culture and the Eva fandom in particular, and it is designed to strike directly at their creepy sense of entitlement, their insecurity, their extreme sexism, and their total spinelessness.  Shinji as the audience stand in is shown as basically a Gamergater, an insecure, shrill loser whose mass of insecurities make him impossible to be reasoned with and his internalized fear of rejection means that he can’t have normal relationship with people, in particular women.  Even the things he likes he destroys through his obsession and sense of ownership, such as when he masturbates to completion over the unconscious body of his friend who was wounded in battle.  It serves as a pretty good critic of Otaku culture and the entire creepy obsessive nerd fandom that surrounds it, and it is a really pointed response to the fandom who hated the original ending because it wasn’t a combat filled wish fulfillment fantasy.  So it is taking their self insert character and revealing him to be what the fandom is, a pathetic weakling who projects his insecurities on those around him rather than make any real attempt to face his problems directly.  Solid premise, and a nice way of calling out Nice Guy bullshit.  
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Here is the problem....Shinji has never been a self insert character
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(Pictured, not a power fantasy) 
     So the thing about Eva is that as much as people remember the weird existentialist shit, the vast majority of the show is....a pretty standard mecha anime (by which I mean its bad...its really bad).  It isn’t until the the show has to rewrite its own script and Ano has a mental breakdown that the show really starts to get interesting and actually worth a damn, but but most of the time it kinda is just standard.  The characters are bit better written than their arch type demands, but until the last few episodes Asuka, Rei, Misato and Ritsuko (all the other characters are terrible) are still very much their ‘role’, Asuka is still a Tsundere tough loud girl trope, Misato is the party girl/cool mom character, Rei is the quiet girl etc etc you get the idea.  They are better written than most, but they are still very much their arch type until the ending where suddenly they show their true selves.....
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(once upon a time there wasn’t a standard trope)
     Except Shinji.  Shinji from the start stands out like a sore thumb in the whole process because...he isn’t an anime hero.  He really isn’t a hero at all, not in a moral sense, a mythic sense, or even a personal sense.  And he knows it too, I know the ‘reluctant hero” trope is a thing, but there is no protagonist ever who just wants to stay home and not go on an advnture as much as Shinji.  Now I hated the first episode of EVA....a lot, like I really really hated that opening episode, and if I wasn’t being paid I likely wouldn’t have kept going, but there was one moment where I kinda woke up and was like “huh.....thats....not what I expected’.  Which is when Gendo (aka worse character in the series) is like “You must accept your destiny” and Shinji is like “no”....not out of any moral sense or dramatic rejection, or even refusal of the call, but simply because he....is too emotionally depressed.  I mean compare this to Buffy, a character who is introduced Refusing the Call
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   (Buffy, another main character who isn’t appreciated enough by the fans) 
 Buffy is rejecting the call but she is already a hero, and she is rejecting it for other responsibilities, and even then her desire to fight evil is just so strong she can’t stay home, she is a hero at heart who is just rejecting herself Shinji is not, Shinji is the least heroic person in the world suddenly being told he has to save the world and if he fucks up everybody dies.  
      Now remember, we don’t know who these characters are, we just met them but...when the fuck in anime does the main character be told out right that he is the chosen one and he has a destiny to save the world and the main character basically says “I am too emotionally unhealthy for this, please come back later”.   LIke the Refusal of the Call isn’t suppose to come until later in the story line, and Shinji is just so pathologically uninterested in being a hero that honestly....that was interesting.  Shinji gets a lot of hate but personally, for most of the show he was the one thing that kinda worked for me, the one character who was just so...not what the show wanted him to be that he stood out.  I mean lets talk about Shinji
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(pictured...a power fantasy)
    Shinji is a deeply emotionally unhealthy sad person who has extremely low self esteem and has absolutely no spine, passively doing what other people tell him to do and basically living his life on an insecurity based auto pilot.  I think my absolute favorite scene is where it is shown that he practices the cello  every day and is asked if he liked it and he doesn’t have an answer.  And when asked why he practices, he is says he was told to practice when he was a kid so he he just does...this guy is just on inertia his whole life.  But the thing is, SHinji knows it.  He is acutely aware of his own failings, but has no sense of direction, will, or frankly audience to know what to do with it, and everybody around him seems to be either trying to use him, or is convinced that if he just gets more material rewards he doesn't’ care about he will get better on his own.  Instead he just becomes more and more insecure and avoidant until the last two episodes which are about him finally learning to value himself, at least a little. What is interesting about Shinji is that just kinda wants to...merge with the world around him (if you like the Enneagrams, Shinji is the Platonic 9 btw).  I mean that line “unfamiliar ceiling”, Shinji hates change, he hates disruption, he hates messiness, and he hates activity, and that is basically what his life is now, what SHinji likes to do is just kinda zone out.  And Singularity is actually...kinda appealing to him, its merging, its becoming one with a larger group, and losing individuality, and Shinji has been trying to give up on his own individuality since before the show started.  So his learning to acknowledge himself as an individual is the pivotal part of his story. 
     Ok, that’s nice and all, but other than my assertion that Shinji is the best character in the show and the internet is wrong, what is the point?  Well Shinji has never been a power fantasy self insert character, in fact that I think that is why people hate him so much, they want to have the fun mecha show and Shinji is there being sad.  I mean the argument against Shinji is always “stop being EMO and just do something already, you are piloting a mech what reason do you have to be sad’ but the thing is, what the audience wants to fantasize about and what Shinji want are just..opposite.  The teenage male audience is like 
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“Omg, it would be so awesome if i could be the chosen one who gets to fight the big monsters and everybody thinks i’m awesome, and I live in a house with two hot ladies who are weirdly into me and often walk around without clothes and everybody at school thinks i’m cool and then I win and become the hero of the world, all by beating the shit out of things in a giant mech, ITS AWESOME”
and Shinji is like
“....why would anybody want any of those things?  Now i’m just sad”
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(Shinji doesn’t like Mecha Anime and neither should you) 
Shinji’s existence is actively fucking with the power fantasy of the mecha anime, because what the audience is suppose to like he is indifferent too, he never enjoys any of the things that make up the power fantasy.  And that’s partly because Shinji doesn’t enjoy anything, but he really isn’t a self insert power fantasy character because he is just such a fucking downer.  So while I appreciate giving the finger to Otaku culture (trust me I do), personifying the audience fan base in Shinji is just...wrong.  Because Shinji already is a rejection of the audience, everything they want he rejects in favor of sitting in his room staring at the ceiling.  If Ano wanted to make that point, Shinji isn’t the tool to use it for, because Shinji isn’t what they idealize.  
   Which leads to the larger problem cause....Well, Shinji from the show just...isn’t Shinji from the movie, they don’t behave that way at all.  True Shinji (show) is deeply flawed, but he would never masturbate over somebody, even if he had the desire, he would chicken out and do it at home.  And while Shinji is a deeply fucked up person who does have issues with women, he never displays that kind of entitlement and sense of ownership towards his friends that he does in the movie.  Shinji is deeply insecure about sex yes and he does check out the women around him, but his response to that is mostly shame and self loathing (his response to fucking everything), not a sense of ownership.  Honestly, if anything, they claim ownership over him, Asuka clearly has a crush on him (its mutual) and actively pressures him into kissing her (he fucks it up because of course he does) and despite being his guardian, Misato actively hits on Shinji like....a lot
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(erm...what)
     Honestly, its really uncomfortable, when you watch this show as a teenage boy its like “oh the hot grown up how is COOL and confident and hip and drinks, and is confident about sex is into you, holy crap” but looking back, its kinda fucked up, I mean Misato is his boss and guardian and unlike with Asuka, Shinji doesn’t seem comfrotable with how much he hits on her.  He checks her out and fantasizes about her cause he is like 14, but the dynamic obviously makes him uncomfortable, he is attracted to her sexually but clearly the power dynamic is weird also why the fuck is she hitting on a 14 year old, she is like 28 i mean come on.  My point is, that in the show, while Shinji does have a weird relationship to the women in his life and really should question some of his sexist assumptions, he isn’t the type of larval form MRA as shown in the movie, that type of naked aggression towards women as a group just isn’t shown as part of his behavior.  I mean Shinji can (and does) do many awful thing, but having an object of affection who he feels so possessive of that he attempts to strangle her in order to vent his frustrations isn’t in his character.  I mean in terms of violating people’s boundries and showing lack of care for their feelings...in the show that is mostly happening to Shinji.  I mean Misako and Asuka really never take his feelings into account about anything and while he does the same to them (again show Shinji isn’t a good person) he just wants to go to his room, they keep aggressively making him uncomfortable.  And i’m not saying they are bad (well I am kinda saying that about Misato) just that this isn’t a dynamic or mindset Shinji displays, he isn’t an aggressive Otaku fanboy seeking a power tribe or sex, he is a deeply disturbed person who wants to hide in his room.  
Movie Shinji is effectively an entirely new character, or rather it is Shinji being written wrong, in essence its like if the character Shinji was possessed by the desires and insecurities of the fandom rather than his own, so he has all of his passivity and cowardice, but over entirely different issues.  The emotional climax of End of Eva is the women in his life actively calling him out for being an entitled selfish person who expects women to fix his problems and blames them for not being perfectly clear with him about their intentions, women existing to suit his needs. Asuka in particular makes a point about how Shinji doesn’t even care about her because of anything about her, he just wants to go after her because he feels he has a chance and is too afraid of rejection to go after anybody else.  He snaps once Asuka calls him a coward, which is a direct fuck you to the Otaku fandom, people who are obsessed with stories about heroism but are in fact cowards themselves.  
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(cough)
     Meanwhile in the show, Shinji already knows he is a coward, in fact he knows it so deeply and it is so internalized that he basically doesn’t function, and the message he needs to take is “yes, you are a coward, but that isn’t an absolute term, that can change.  Anything about you can change if you recognize that you can change it.  And most importantly, even if you are a coward, you can still love yourself.”   I am not being original when I say these endings are exactly the opposite, because Shinji is a different character.  And while I am totally fine calling out Otaku culture because its a fucking dumpster fire, the point doesn’t actually work because Shinji isn’t the character you want to use to deliver that message.   Shinji isn’t that fandom, so having him be their mouthpiece means that it comes off as incoherent rather than righteous.  
   And also.....Otaku culture’s relationship to women is really fucked up but lets be honest here, the screwed up sexual politics of EVA isn’t just the fandom, Rei, Asuka, and Misato are all extremely sexualized from the word go by the series itself, and there is a TON of fanboy-ism within the original show.  The Fans aren’t making this shit up, they are taking it from the show itself.  So it comes off as kinda hypocritical to call them out, even if Ano is entirely correct to do so.
      End of Eva is just like the original show, it has some solid points but the entire show is too much of an incoherent mess to really pull them off, and the subtext of the movie (The toxic and obsessive nature of Otaku fan culture leads to selfishness, bitterness, and destroying the thing you love) has nothing to do with the text (Random christian imagery and giant robots being eaten).  But the show worked better because its subtext was largely consistent, everything else in the show might be a mess, but Shinji from start to finish is the exact same sad sack he has always been, and the resolution hinges on him....not doing that anymore.  There is a consistent thread in an otherwise inconsistent show, and that is Shinji, as fucking......I can’t even say.
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     This is why End of Eva doesn’t work, it doesn’t have a core to wrap its point around, and so it has all the terrible thing the show has, without the one thread to redeem it.  Trust me, it is much better to hear End of Eva summarized then seen, while I honestly recommend the last two episodes of the show to anybody (not the rest of the show necessarily).  I mean Eva is a mess generally, but the show at least has something it wants to say, while the movie is mostly just vomiting..emotions.
    Actually legit, you know how Shinji builds up anger all day long and then kinda vomits it out at random points (9)?  Yeah, I kinda feel Ano is doing the same, End of Eva is basically a temper tantrum and he is breaking all of his toys, this is slightly excused because the people who pissed him off are literally the worse but still.........End of Eva is basically an emotional breakdown on film, which is interesting but not enjoyable.  
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