When you're like 14, 15, you really think the world is either going to be 1. Really exciting all the time or B. Really stressful all the time but heres a secret: most days you will stand around and do nothing, and the most exciting thing you will remark on that day is that the new garbage disposal you got after the old one broke is really quiet and you think that's cool

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

you can lead a horse to water, but

have some phone bg sized horses in water. i actually ended up with 12 of these if u can believe it.. i had not realised i drew so many of these

so-called “free thinkers” when dracula daily starts back up

ma i like the long green haired pokemon guy again

Happy Valentine's Day from the goobers!!!!! They are desperate to let you know they love u <3

A silly (and very rushed) little redraw of Steel Wool's official valentine's day card from a few years ago! I thought it was so cute I have been waiting for the season to try my hand at it!

"Tumblr is great for artists!" I say, gripping the sink "The reblog function keeps art alive long after it's posted! Not like Twitter and Instagram where old art is left to die in obscurity. And that's great! That's so great!" Somebody reblogs one of my years old drawings and I crush the sink into dust with my bare hands

"If you were gone... I'd be here in Ramshackle all by myself."

20 YEARS OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS (18 DEC 2002)

I wonder if we’ll ever be put into songs or tales?

BIG DAY FOR ANNOYING PEOPLE (me) 🩵🩵🩵🩵

OH JOYOUS DAY THE SILLY BILLY <3333 pookiebear, even . HES SO SASSY

clips in the video taken from xman 723 and edited together by me on capcut ^_^

AAAAAAJSHFGHSHDH WOOHOOO

Star Wars: The Sub Awakens

Aka, Anakin has a very ill-timed ~realization~

This is my contribution for Sub Anakin Fest [@anakinfest], which I actually didn’t sign up for but decided to butt in on anyway! As such, this doesn’t correspond to any prompts :)

Having adhd is like being stuck in rooms with no exits and then told by neurotypicals i should have just done like them and walked through a door

Could you imagine you find out that your kid is fighting with Deku’s kid when they start school together, and you end up getting a call from the school to go and pick them up.

And you’re already mad because you had to leave work early to pick them up, but they’re fighting with a kid they’ve practically grown up with. Bakugou is Godfather to Deku’s son and everything—

So you text Bakugou about it once you get home, and he texts back that he’s leaving work and coming home. And when he comes through the door you expect him to be the strict parent who is going to sit down with his daughter and teach her a lesson.

“Mum told me you were fighting at school today,” He shakes his head, and you can see the slight fear flash in your daughters eyes, even though she’s trying to keep her brave face, before his lips curl into a smile, “Did you win?”

“Katsuki!” Your eyes widen in shock as you reach out to smack your husbands arm.

pigeons mate for life