#makes my heart ache a bit
Text
505 live at bbc studios, 2010 (x)
#minnie this is your fault#i cannot get over this performance of 505 even a tiny bit#he’s SO nervous and yet he just pours his whole heart into it anyway#i mean#the fidgeting and the trembling hands and the fixing his hair??#the way he's still wearing his bbc visitors badge even though no one else in the band is anymore???#i'm inconsolable#and do not even SPEAK to me about when he misses the mic because he's so busy focusing on getting the words right#this whole performance just makes my heart ache with how much love i have for him 🥺#alex turner#alex gifs#humbug era#arctic monkeys#lulu posts#my gifs#also help why has this just been sitting in my drafts for days 🤦🏻♀️
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Fun fact: Astarion is fucking TRAUMATIZED AS SHIT
#my art stuff#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 tav#tav#tiefling tav#tiefling#hug#embrace#claws#blood#tears#crying#I have been extremely fucked up over this guy the past few days#I keep thinking about this song I connect to him and crying#it’s kept me up super late and ruined my apetite for several days in a row now#but making this made me feel a bit better finally#I connect so deeply with him so far as I struggle with a lot of similar things as him#I expected to hate him when I started playing but now my heart aches for him 24/7 and I’ve only had the game for a lil over a week#I love him so incredibly much and if anybody hurts him I will personally hunt you down.#the pale elf
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for the vc character asks! 🥹
🔍 something about the modern era not referenced in the books that you think louis would find upsetting or confusing + why?
💌 a lesser-known quote/passage from canon that you think best describes your favorite character
🔍 I think Louis would be so perplexed by the fidget toy industry LOL this is a man who refuses to tuck his hands into his pockets because he finds it rude and off-putting, like he would be so baffled and upset with all the little cubes and spinners and push toys that are made specifically to fidget with!! but what does it DO?! what do you MEAN this cube serves no practical function?! will you please STOP clicking it at once!
💌 I actually have no clue if this is considered lesser-known because to me, this has always been THEE quintessential Louis quote, but it's from Marius' pov in qotd so I think the loustat girlies tend to sleep on it idk:
"Just a little blood, and Louis might be stronger, true, but then he might lose the human tenderness, the human wisdom that no one could give another; the gift of knowing others' suffering with which Louis had probably been born."
This sentence is just so close to my heart like I think the gift of knowing others' suffering is such a wonderful summation of Louis' spirit. Because I think, at a certain point, the ability to understand human suffering truly is a gift that very few vampires can maintain as they grow older. Sure, they can observe human pain and sympathize with it, but Louis knows this suffering on an innate level, and it's not a hinderance or a weakness, but a gift!!! A GIFT!! Louis was born from sorrow and he feels it like no one else can— he alone possesses a wisdom that no other blood drinker has, and that in itself is so valuable. When the other vampires describe him, they do tend to highlight his humanity and his sensitivity, but I've always admired that it was Marius that first framed it as a gift.
#the entire paragraph of marius meeting louis is probably one of my favorite bits of canon actually??#i've wanted to get the phrase 'the gift of knowing others' suffering' tattooed for a while idk it just makes my heart ache#ANYWHOMST ty for this <3#;answered#louis de pointe du lac#headcanons#vampire meta#meta
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Dude I frickin love Vegetta so much, everyone was like "Vegetta is gonna kill Forever! He'll declare war for what he did!!! >:(((" but that's just not the type of person Vegetta is. He's a chaotic bastard, yes, and he can be unpredictable sometime, but something Vegetta appreciates above all else is honesty and respect.
Forever expressed both to him today, in the lore and outside of it.
Forever didn't have to confess what happened with Leonarda. In fact, Foolish actively discouraged him from telling Vegetta because even he expected Vegetta to react badly, but Forever is, in his heart of hearts, a very kind and honest man, and Vegetta knows that. Even before today's lore, Forever not only reached out to Foolish to apologize, but Vegetta as well. And yet his voice still shook when telling Vegetta about it when in-character
But Vegetta wasn't angry. Vegetta tells Forever he is a good boy, and that they’re all friends. He of course predictably adds: "Once is an accident, but if it happens again: boom boom boom, pow! Destruction!" but then he gifts Forever something in the name of peace, gives him a hug, then kisses him goodbye (something Vegetta only does with friends / people he cares about)
I've talked about it before, but the communication on this server is so good. Everyone's inclined to de-escalate situations, regardless of how serious it is, and they all have so much respect for one another. I really love it.
#i talk#qsmp talk#again: it's a breath of fresh air#It frustrates me a little bit seeing Vegetta being mischaracterized but I suppose that's bound to happen#He's a very complex character#But it frustrates me more when people think he's without flaw and never makes mistakes or does things wrong#like no!!! he's a bastard and he's mean sometimes and he fricks things up!!!#and I love him with all my heart#Vegetta's my boy and I support his rights AND wrongs#Anyways I adore Forever too#he cares so dang much it makes my heart ache
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this post makes me feel the same as when i was watching the truman show in my high school psychology class and there would be a moment that made me feel a deep, aching pain for truman and had me nearly on the verge of tears, and my classmates were laughing because they thought the same moment was hilarious
#just an observation#elaboration: in the same way as the truman show where some of the heart-aching moments are also comedic#this text post is framed and worded like your average jokey text post made up scenario#like the bit in truman show where hes panicking about his life not being real and his wife basically does an ad read in front of him#that made the kids in my class laugh while i was sitting there like D: jesus christ#and like that IS a funny bit while also hurting very badly at the same time lol#and this post feels the same#like i think it wants me to laugh. it reads like a joke. but it also makes me feel like i have a gaping hole in my chest
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may i request something with Elliott? something fluffy, perhaps? I've had a bit of a bad week and need a pick me up, and your hc list for how the bachelors fell in love was so sweet :') I just had his post-marriage heart event and can't stop thinking about it, so maybe something like that? maybe the moment when he comes home?
I’m sorry you had a bad week, anon. I hope this helps cheer you up a bit, even if it’s a little late. And I hope this week is better! I still haven’t married any of the candidates in my (singular) save file because I love all of them and can’t choose. Ugh. Anyway! Elliott is husband material and I love him.
898 words. Kinda short :( GN!Farmer, pure fluff. A planet made out of squishmallows. A field full of grazing sheep. Pillow stuffing fluttering around you after a pillow fight gets too crazy. So. Much. Fluff. Not beta'd or proofread, sorry about that. I hope you enjoy it anyway <3
Elliott closes the front door behind him, nodding in satisfaction when the lock clicks into place quietly. The house is silent, and Elliott carefully toes off his stuffy dress shoes and abandons his suitcase by the door. He’ll unpack in a bit, but right now he has more pressing matters to attend to.
Slipping on his house shoes, he climbs up to the second floor of the farmhouse. Miso meows from the top of the stairs, greeting him with an eager flick of the tail. Elliott smiles fondly at the gray tabby and scratches under his chin for a moment, before straightening up and making his way to the bedroom.
Impatience nips at his heels as he pushes the door open, and his breath leaves him all at once at the sight before him.
Yellow morning sunlight streams through the windows, bouncing off the white flannel sheets, and the whole room glows, edges blurred like an old polaroid. At the center of the world is the Farmer, curled up in the middle of the bed with their arms held tight around a pillow.
His throat closes.
His pillow.
He presses the back of his hand, still chilled from the frigid morning air, to his burning face. The things they do to him, truly.
Collecting the scattered pieces of himself from the floor, Elliott shuffles across the room and kneels beside their bed. Affection ripples in his chest like the surface of a pond disturbed by a fallen leaf as he watches them sleep for a few moments, but then it gets to be too much and he’s moving.
He presses a kiss to the top of their head, and squeezes their shoulder in tandem. They grumble in their sleep, and he smiles into their hair. He leans away as they shift a bit, groggily untucking their face from where they’d smushed it into his pillow, and their eyes flutter open.
“Good morning, gorgeous. I’m back,” Elliott whispers, brushing the pad of his thumb over their cheek as they look up at him. They blink a few times, the sun glaring in their eyes, and he smiles softly, endeared by their initial sleepy confusion.
He clocks the exact moment the realization dawns on them, and suddenly his arms are very, very full.
He chuckles, hugging them tightly as they bury their face into his neck.
“Elliott,” they whisper, tangling their fingers into his hair, and he sighs happily. Their weight against his chest is a welcome pressure.
“My love.” He rubs his palms up and down their back, refamiliarising himself with the contours of their body. “Ah, I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too.” Their arms tighten around his shoulders, and he presses a kiss to the side of their head. They pull away, eyes sparkling in the sun. They’re still soft with sleep, a little less alert than usual, and he tightens his grip on their waist. “How was your tour?”
He hums, running the tip of his finger over a loose stitch on the hem of their shirt. “Nothing I didn't already say in my letters. But one drop of the big city and I’m quenched. I much prefer being back here with you.”
He pecks their forehead.
“I really did miss you,” they whisper, cupping his jaw with a calloused palm when he’s settled back. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Elliott shakes his head with a smile. “You know well enough it was the same for me.”
“I do, but—”
The shrill call of the rooster echoes outside, cutting the Farmer off sharply. They frown, a displeased wrinkle appearing between their eyebrows.
Elliott smiles and smooths out the lines on their forehead with gentle fingers. “Don’t be so disappointed, my love. I’m home, but we’ve both got chores to catch up on, hm?”
He makes to pull away, but their arms keep him firmly locked in place.
“Stay?” They brush a loose strand of hair behind his ear, and tingles shoot down his spine. He nearly shivers. “I already took care of everything.”
“Of course you did.” He chuckles, petting their side. “But Darling, I must insist. I have to at least feed Miso.”
“All of his bowls are full. I filled them last night, and we can go to the saloon for a late breakfast if you come back to bed with me. When did you get up this morning? Wasn’t your train at four?” Their lips pillow out in a pout, tempting him. Elliott swallows hard. “Please? I almost forgot what sleeping next to you feels like.”
“Well now you’re just playing dirty,” Elliott mutters, reaching to pinch their hips softly. They jerk against him, and the tip of their nose brushes his own.
“Is it working?” They ask, grinning.
God help him, he is a weak, weak man.
“You know it is, just—let me change.” The farmer hums, smiling like the cat that got the cream as they bring their hands down to grip at the lapels of his suit jacket. He stares at their lips.
“Hurry up then. I wanna cuddle.”
"Yeah." He nods stiffly. “Anything you want.”
#stardew valley#sdv#elliott#asks#requests#anon#fluffy as all hell good lord#so sweet it's making my teeth ache#it is a bit shorter than I hoped but#I think it's alright#also i used snippets of his dialogue from the actual heart event#but i did try to modify it a little because sometimes the dialogue is awkward#blurbs#gender neutral reader
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And He’s Yours
b.r.b. for my bee 💗 @bradshawsbaby
Sometimes
Your job
Its days and weeks
Demand and take
Leaving you empty
Tired
And aching to your bones
Your mind and heart
Just as drained
Just as sore.
But when you’re home
And he’s home
He’s yours.
You drop away the day
Purse
Work junk
Other metaphorical baggage
The front door closes
Shuts
Solidly behind you
Closing out the world
Life with its demands
Is unwelcome here.
You’re home
And he’s home
He’s yours.
His frame
Tall
Broad
Strong and safe
Fills the kitchen doorway
Almost to overflowing
Spilling toward you
On his eager steps.
Jet-calloused hands
Reach for you
Arms fold you in
And he’s home
He’s yours.
Some sweet name for you
Sighs from his lips
Over yours
Before they’re his
By right of capture.
No happier prisoner
Is there
In your mouth.
His kiss tastes of tenderness
Of peppermint and sweat
Hints of strawberries.
And he’s home
He’s yours.
The night will go on
All soothing sweetness
Dinner
Wine
The yellow roses on the table.
Your laugh he adores
His curls falling loose.
A soak in the tub
Limbs tangled
Bodies close
Hot and bubbly and unhurried.
Maybe he’ll sing to you
Soft and loving.
And it’s good
Perfect
Just what you need.
But
Your favorite
The best part
Is
Him
And you
That’s Home
You are his
And he is yours.
#Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw#Bradley Bradshaw x Reader#TGM Fanfiction#bradshawsbaby#Sometimes I Art#I Wrote This#Top Gun Maverick#You mentioned the other day wanting a Bradley of your own to come home to#since you’ve been Going Through It so much lately#and well. Um. That just made my heart ache for you and I couldn’t get the thought about Your Bradley out of my brain#soooo…..👉🏻👈🏻🫣 This happened.#*whispers frantically but lovingly I HOPE IT MAKES YOU SMILE/FEEL GOOD FEELINGS EVEN JUST THE TINIEST WEE BIT#I love you so much Darling Lady you’re so very special to me. 🥹💗💗💗💗💗#*gets shy and runs off to bed*
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Im having feelings over my stupid vampire oc
#talkys#my clone who is nothing like me but also everything like me#the wounded aching heart on a leash outside my body#the unwillingness to get attached because once you are attached its over and boy is it over#thinking about how we wouldn't ever get anything done because once talon is attached its nonstop Long Goodbye#the ache over you being gone one day. and well. how could I not also cry about death. he IS my death phobia made vampire#you catch the previously constantly stone faced guy have fits of anguish and clinginess#repeating words and actions so he wont ever forget#howww could you leave his arms when he needs to remember how you feel in them#and that you like my face in your neck but not being bit there#and you like that my body is cold when yours is a furnace. you cant stand having your shoulders grabbed#you hate when wet hair touches your neck and i know where all the moles on your body are#and i know that you like me. and you like me. and you like me#(and the next day he's fighting the urge to cut you and himself up to ribbons for letting/making him feel this way)#(and how getting closer only makes goodbye harder)#(and god - time goes by so fast doesnt it. it goes by so fast.)#(itll hurt then and it hurts now. all it does is hurt)#oc text
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Your tag about the intersection between grief and homesickness fucked me up ngl. Im dealing with the grief of suddenly losing my father and I never thought of it like that but you're so right that's exactly what it feels like
oh anon :( I am so, so sorry you are going through this. in my own experience, the first few months after unexpectedly losing my own father felt like when you were a little kid at a sleepover you didn’t really want to be at—everyone sleeps soundly but you have this indescribable, aching feeling in your chest of I just want to go home, please let me go home. it’s smothering, more than unbearable, and it doesn’t leave.
this kind of grief makes you feel like a little kid again. but not in a good way. home isn’t really anywhere anymore without the person who made it feel like one.
I hope your grief eases soon. It’s lifelong, but it does get easier, in time.
#my heart aches for you anon#i’m sorry to reply to this on father’s day but i couldn’t stop thinking about this ask#i am so sorry for taking so long to reply to it#i wanted my response to be at least a bit meaningful#my dms are always open to anyone who may need anything#grief is a fickle thing#you’re fine (read: numb) for one moment and then the next you want to tear your heart out#even 3 years later as i am now#be kind and patient to yourself anon#time will make things more bearable#asks#anon#not art#sorry to anyone who’s sent an ask in a million years ago#on a bit of a hiatus
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"I remember a time when everyone
I loved hated me
because I hated them. So what,
so what, so fucking what.
I remember a time when belly
buttons were knee high
When only shitting was dirty
and everything else clean
and beautiful.
I can't remember anything
without a sadness
so deep that it hardly
becomes known to me.
so deep that its tears
leave me a spectator
of my own STUPIDITY
And so I go rambling
on with a hey nonny
nonny no.
How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don't really know who I'm writing to or why its quiet [sic] peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it, but if I post it it's like a little part of my almost secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don't care really what happens because when I think about it, its so bloody unimportant – but what is important, who has the right to say that this letter is not important and Jesus is a something anyway – in any way – anyway – Yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet its great. Er how are you keeping, Stuart old chap. Are you OK – is life good – bad, shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing, and coalmen on and on and on.
I think this is it
Goodbye Stu don't write out of – er, what's it? Well, not because you think you ought to. Write when you feel like.
So goodbye (from John. You know, the one with glasses)
ANYWAY
BYE BYE
See you soon.
I don't know why I said that."
– An unsent letter from John Lennon for Stuart Sutcliffe (1961)
#i couldnt find the entire letter in a post so here it is because i need to go insane quickly#1) his thing where he emulates people he loves & he literally admits to it here but gives up because Stu's writing style tires him out :(#2) “my almost secret self” and that entire bit about sending off a bit of himself into the world is SO REAL#(I really think Stu becoming his pen pal he never had to see allowed John to let his guard down in a way he couldn't with people IRL#in the same way it can be easier to open up online nowadays)#3) “You know the one with glasses” I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!#4) the jokey deflection from his genuine sadness when he calls Stu “old chap”#5) spiralling through his own thoughts and ending with “– Yeah!” hes a tumblrina fr#6) it makes my heart ache that I'm pretty sure the phrase he was looking for was “a sense of obligation” and I wanna tell him :(#7) the “See you soon. I don't know why I said that.” is haunting when I'm pretty sure he never saw Stu again.#ref#john#fiona.docx#61#sjw
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well. i finished ch 17 of hi3. but at what cost
#avil plays hi3#tbf majority of me playing through hi3 just looks like This.#yes the acheron trailer made me get up and finish ch 17#i. :(#the fight between kiana and mei was so painful :(#ok also i suck ass in the combat and i was so scared of having to restart#BUT I THINK I HURT MORE THE FACT THAT KIANA JUST REFUSED TO GIVE UP ON MEI#BUT MEIS ALSO DOING THIS BECAUSE SHES TRYING TO SAVE KIANA#AND THEY WERE BOTH FIGHTING TO STOP AND TRY TO SAVE EACH OTHER#MEI YOU SAVED KIANA BUT LIKE..... DONT YOU WANT TO LIVE ALONGSIDE HER.... MEI PLEASE#tbh. the way i was going through ch 17 for hi3.#kiana and mei remind me a lot of oz and gil's relationship back in pandora hearts but#now it makes me want to hit my head on a brick wall because#'wow. i really just gravitate tO THE SAME FUCKING MEDIA EVERY DAMN TIME AVIL STOP IT FFS'#also idk i was thinking about it too#mei tried earlier to use the herrschers powers to try and protect kiana but it wasnt enough. she failed that time#and with no other option to save her she just HAD to and it makes me HURT that this was her only option#IN HER HEAD. I BELIEVE IN YOU MEI I THINK THERE COULDVE BEEN ANOTHER OPTION HERE (IDK WHAT BUT I AM SOBBING)#sprawls on the ground#at least i can have an emotional break for a little bit.... hsr update so i can chill w that#and then when i finish catching up w that. then i go back to being hi3's punching bag#can i get off this train now? why'd i sign myself up for this (welt yang doomed me and then i got fucked over by everything else)#idk also the way that both mei AND kiana resorted to using their herrscher powers to stop the other. two stubborn people....#but its done because they just... they just care so much and want to save the other#okay yeah we did beat each other up about it bUT STILL#MEI I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND 😭😭😭😭😭#anyways. glad i did. i have the worst stomach ache rn so i was Going through it#but my brain hit a reset so i feel normal now. save for the crying
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.
#lowkey wanna un-mutual all the mutuals we have in common. i hate seeing her url. but there are so many and i like them :(#but it does hurt me a lot that she's the only one i talked to for several years#she said we were friends and all of that stuff#and then without a word she just blocked me and left me wondering what i did wrong#and now i feel humiliated and stupid for believeing her. she obviously didnt care about me#and i saw her as someone important in my life but to her i was nothing at all. just garbage to discard#so yeahhhh everytime i see her url i feel like a flash of pain bc it reminds me of how#everyone lies. how stupid it is for me to trust someone and be vulnerable. how i mean nothing to her and she doesnt even think of me#i dont even exist to her and she isnt missing me and doesnt care about me a single bit#and the worst thing is that she said she did. so how could i know she didnt mean it#i feel so lonely... i started rambling again but yeah i hate seeing her url when moots rb her bc it makes me sad angry & my heart ache
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(genderfluid) masc gendered caregiver
gender inclusive regressor
hi baby, you asked for me? oh honey of course you can ask me for help, what can i do for you my little noble? hm that’s quite the task to do all on your own, papa’s so proud of you for asking for help to do it! we’ve got this love, together we make quite the unstoppable duo don’t you think? alright let’s see…. such a good job baby i’m so proud of you! you’re doing so well love, look at all the progress we’ve made! thank you for letting me help you honey, you’re so very strong and papa loves you so very much.
#the amount of drafts that have disappeared today makes my heart ache a little bit#agere caregiver#agere reassurance#sfw caregiver#age regression caregiver#sfw agere#here to help#i’m so proud of you#you’re doing such a good job lovebug#send me asks please#asks are open#asks open#agere cg#safe agere#i’m cheering for you always#i love you
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ohhh. [realising the permanence of the past]
#chaos.txt#growing up is sure. interesting huh#song triggers r so insane also. have you ever considered that. i cant listen to malinda or ts anymore cuz uhm the Thing happened#around the time i loved them#s*nders s*des still makes me feel a bit ill. when i say a bit ill if im not ready for it i feel like im 13 yrs old again#+ i will probbaly have a PANIC ATTACK lol. um.#god i miss my friends. i feel like i fucked everything up !#anyway. just heard the original of a cover i used to listen to back then. and idk#its like. a dull ache. but its the reason for everything. its literally the reason im who i am#yes c ptsd doesnt have 1 specific trauma but i do definitely have a very specific trauma ! lol#and now i have to stop talking about it cuz </3 my heart is starting to race. stop that lol . we're safe now. im safe now
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Just finished "Slay the Princess"...
#i talk#Haven't played any games in a long long while but I sat down and gave myself time to play that#what a sad story#but I think I got the best possible outcome#even if it makes my heart feel a bit ache-y
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very happy to be a little over two months on T but boi despite no changes the hormonal mess it's causing has been taking me on a RIDE and next time is my first shot by myself i totally expect to either chicken out or suck it up and feel sick af afterwards
#beelio talks#two months no changes AT ALL except the one IYKYK#i've sure had bad nausea and stomach aches and palpitations all of which are 99.9% likely to be because of hormonal mess-induced stress#because it makes PMS and physical anxiety symptoms worse sdkjkln even though i'd never had palpitations before. CAN I CATCH A BREAK#palpitations actually got MUCH better after my dose was increased though. for whatever reason. hormones work in mysterious ways#dw i got my heart checked today to be safe#and it's all normal bike test and EKG and echography (boi that was weird to look at) and all#still likely doing a 24 hours test in a couple of months but yeah the four doctors and nurses who looked at me were not concerned at all#despite my heart rate being a bit too high#but that was likely the usual appointment stress and influenced by the bike test#i'm home now and it's back to my usual 70s-80s instead of the 115 it was back there lol#ANYWAYS#love being on T. hate the adjustment period.#i don't expect visible changes so fast btw! but when i say no changes i mean i also don't have the libido/hunger/warmth increase etc.#like if it wasn't for the one thing i'd think it doesn't work hahaha
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