#love how this is my semester without an essay heavy class so what do i do? write a smol essay on fucking south park of all things LMAOOO
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Eric is a character. He is a work of fiction. All of these characters that we know and love and fawn over are just that, characters, they're make believe.
I understand being uncomfortable by the hate speech, that's one thing, but I see people actually hating him like he personally killed their parents and made them into chilly. Matt and Trey write him as a bigot because someone has to be in order to write the story they're trying to tell, in order to get the point across they're trying to make. Someone HAS to be the villain. And when he's extremely anti semetic, xenophobic, racist, he loses because that's the message. Bigots lose. Bigots are a joke.
Matt and Trey stated in an interview that Eric is the product of his surroundings and as someone that grew up in a middle of nowhere town in Wisconsin, there were a lot of kids that shared many similarities with Cartman. They were racist, xenophobic, and just straight up mean. Many of which told me my family and I should go back to Mexico where I belonged. But they also all came from broken homes. A lot of them were simply attention starved, neglected children internalizing the problems of the adults around them. And looking back now, I don't hold any ounce of contemp or negative emotion towards those children, my heart goes out to them. They didn't have anyone that cared enough about them to correct their behavior. Any kind of attention, including negative, was better than none due to how neglectful their gaurdiens were.
This isn't me arguing why people that hate Cartman should love him, or hold pity for him. On the contrary, I hate to argue lol. This is only me divulging my thoughts on a character I personally think is written with a lot of dimension and depth. I like the idea of Eric as a character. A 10 year old child overly spoiled by his crack addicted, sex worker mother who is lonely and isolated to the point of only relying on her child for friendship so she treats him more like a friend than a child thus creating a spoiled, deeply insecure, self centered, bigoted asshole of a kid. His mother, along with most of the adults around him, failed him and now he's making it everyone's problem. His childhood is like a joker origin story lol how wild
Anyway, that is all :'D
#character analysis#love how this is my semester without an essay heavy class so what do i do? write a smol essay on fucking south park of all things LMAOOO#south park#eric cartman
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✮ electric love | part 2 ✮
Harrison Osterfield x fem!reader | fwb!roommates au
|| Masterlist || Series Masterlist ||
Summary: Living with your best friends Tom and Harrison is all fun and games until one drunken night alone with Harrison, you give in to your attraction to him. You tell yourself you should leave it at that, forget about the night you spent with him and move on to not ruin your friendship, but neither of you can stay away from each other. So without considering the possible consequences, you make a deal. But how are you supposed to keep your shenanigans from Tom? And how are you supposed to not break the number one rule of an arrangement like this: do not fall in love.
Words: 3.8k
Warnings: SMUT 18+ [fingering, protected sex, riding], a smidge of angst, reader and Haz being horny idiots again, but this time sober.
A/N: For the record, I know pubs aren’t usually open that long, but my favourite Irish pub in Brighton is open until 4am on the weekends. so I imagine Tom working there :D
Hope you like it!!
Feedback is always appreciated ❤️
It’s still dark out when you wake up, and it takes you a few seconds to realise where you are. You blink a couple of times and when the coffee table still littered with cans and empty bags of crisps comes into view, the evening before comes back to you, and you realise that Harrison is still laying behind you, his arm wrapped around your waist.
Panic starts to creep up your spine, and suddenly you feel like you’re trapped. You sit up quickly, not even bothering if it wakes Harrison up. The blanket falls from your frame, and you realise you’re still naked.
This can’t be happening.
You pull the blanket back up to cover yourself as Harrison starts mumbling incoherently. Patting the coffee table, you try to find a phone, you don’t care if it’s yours or Harrison’s, you just need to know what time it is.
“What’s going on?” Harrison asks, rubbing his eyes as you finally feel the sleek surface of a phone display underneath your fingertips. You lift it up to see the time, it’s just after four in the morning, and if you were slightly panicked before, it’s kicking into high gear now. Tom will be back any moment, and there’s no way you’ll let him walk in on this if you can prevent it.
“We fell asleep.” You stand up, dragging the blanket off of Harrison’s body, but he doesn’t seem to mind. For a moment, you’re distracted by the sight of him in his boxers. His pecs and abs illuminated by the moon shining into the window. With a small shake of your head, you turn around and start to scramble your clothes together. “Tom will be back soon, we need to get out of here.”
Harrison finally gets moving and, for a while, all you’re able to hear is the two of you shuffling around and your heartbeat drumming in your ears. You rack your brain as to how to handle this situation, what to say to him.
You’re still standing there, the blanket wrapped around you, as Harrison pulls on his sweatpants, his shirt hanging over his shoulder.
And then you just stare at each other for a long moment.
“I’ll just—“
“So do we—“
You both start talking at the same time, the air around you filled with awkward tension. And you hate it. You can already feel a headache coming on, and you want to just fall asleep and forget what happened.
Not that it was bad, that’s not it at all. It was amazing. But you don’t want this to change anything between you and Harrison. You love your friendship the way it is, you won’t risk ruining it with sex. Except… maybe you’ve already done that.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” You mumble, and without waiting for a reply, you dash towards your room and quickly close the door behind you.
You let out a deep breath before getting rid of the blanket and finally putting your clothes back on. You know that you need to get some sleep to counteract this hangover, but there’s no way you’ll be able to.
You feel disgusting, you’re covered in dried sweat, Harrison’s scent is all over you, and it does nothing to ease your anxiety. You contemplate taking a shower, but when you hear the front door close softly, followed by Tom’s footsteps moving around the flat, you know that will have to wait until the morning.
It’s been a week since you slept with Harrison and you can’t stop thinking about him. While you caught yourself fantasising about him every now and then before you crossed the line, now you know what it feels like to be touched by him. To be completely consumed by him. And with every day that passes you crave his touch even more.
Getting a taste of him did nothing to soothe your longing for him. On the contrary, it made it worse. So now whenever he’s close, whether that be him waiting for his toast to pop out of the toaster while you’re making a tea, or him sitting next to you on the sofa, your mind goes places it shouldn’t while thinking about one of your best friends.
It’s frustrating. You don’t have the time or the energy to find someone to hook up with to fuck Harrison out of your system. That’s probably what got you into this predicament in the first place, to be honest.
And the fact you still hadn’t really talked about what happened was eating away at you. There just hadn’t been the right time to bring it up. It’s been a stressful week for both of you with work and uni assignments, and if you had a few hours of spare time Tom was always around. You couldn’t just say ‘Hey Harrison can we talk about that thing that happened?’ Without Tom getting suspicious. And the last thing you wanted was him finding out that you and Harrison had sex on the sofa while he was at work.
It isn’t really awkward between you two. You still act normal around each other, it’s almost like nothing changed if it wasn’t for that underlying tension that always fills the air when you’re alone with him.
You delete the last paragraph you’d written for your essay with a groan. It didn’t make any sense anyway. Taking an English Lit class for extra credit sounded good when you first started the semester because with Harrison being an English Lit major you had someone you could ask for help right here living with you.
The irony of your situation makes you laugh. You contemplate quitting the class altogether, but there are only a few weeks left in the semester and all of your work so far would’ve been for nothing.
So you push all your confusing feelings to the side, close your laptop and pick it up. You don’t have to look far to find Harrison. He’s sitting in the living room, feet on the coffee table while scrolling through his phone.
He looks up when you let yourself fall next to him on the couch. The corners of his mouth lift into a smile and he locks his phone as he turns his body to you.
“What’s up?”
This is the first time you actively search out Harrison’s company since that night and you feel a little guilty that you’re doing it because you need his help.
“Can you help me with my essay?” You give him your best puppy dog eyes. “It’s for English Lit and everything I write seems dumb.”
The look in Harrison’s eyes gets a little softer as he nods his head.
“I’m sure it’s not dumb” He reassures you “Let’s see what you’ve got” He reaches his hand out for your laptop and you give it to him after unlocking it. His eyes flit over the screen as he reads over the measly excuse of an essay you’ve written. You can’t help but think how pretty his profile is.
“When’s it due?” He asks casually and you have a feeling he won’t like your answer.
You glance at the time on your laptop display, almost ten at night. “In two hours?” you press your lips together as Harrison’s head whirls over to you.
“Y/N! Why didn’t you ask for help sooner?”
You obviously can’t answer that question honestly, so you shrug your shoulders and say, “I wanted to do it on my own, but I’m incompetent so it didn’t work”
“You’re not incompetent!” He insists. “Look, what you’ve got so far is pretty solid, we just need to build on it.” His fingers fly over the keyboard as he starts to work on your essay.
As he types, he explains what he’s doing and occasionally asks a question. And an hour later your essay is ready to be handed in.
“Thank you so much for your help,” You say after you successfully sent the essay to your professor.
“Don’t mention it” He places his hand on your knee, giving it a squeeze and your breath catches in your throat. Images of the night you spent with Harrison start flashing through your mind as your eyes lock with his. He looks as taken aback as you feel, but neither of you dares to move.
The warmth of his hand is burning into your skin and you hate that just one touch from Harrison is enough to get you so worked up.
You clench your thighs together subconsciously and when Harrison's eyes leave yours for a second you know he noticed. The air around you is tense, thick with anticipation as his hand slowly moves up your leg. His eyes are boring into yours and you try your best to keep calm but your breathing is already heavy.
You don’t dare to say anything. As unsure as you are about what Harrison is thinking right now, you don’t want to ruin this moment.
His hand slowly moves further up your leg until his fingertips reach the hem of your shorts, then he pauses. Your heart is beating out of your chest and you know he’s giving you the time to say something. To tell him to stop. But you don’t want him to stop.
Biting your lip you give him an almost imperceptible nod and then his fingers slip under the fabric. You spread your legs a little allowing him to move closer to your heat and when his fingertips brush against your panties both of you take in a sharp breath.
“You’re soaking,” Harrison whispers, almost in awe.
“Been thinking about the other night a lot.” You say and lift your leg that’s closer to him until it’s laying on top of his, giving him more access.
“Yeah?” he asks, his thumb gingerly pressing against your covered clit. “Me too”
A moan falls from your lips and you reach out your hand to grab his forearm. Harrison stops his movements for a moment until you squeeze his arm.
“Keep going” Your voice is already hoarse, the pulsing between your legs almost unbearable. Harrison licks his lips, then gently moves your underwear to the side. And then his fingers are moving through your slick folds.
You throw your head back with a groan. You’ve been dreaming about his touch for the past week and there was nothing you could do to satisfy that craving. Nothing but being touched by Harrison again.
“That feel good?” Harrison murmurs and places a kiss on your shoulder.
“So good” you breathe, you’re hot, your blood rushing through your veins and you can already feel beads of sweat starting to build on your forehead. “More” You mewl, tightening your grip on his arm.
Harrison hums and then you feel him entering you with his fingers, the heel of his palm pressing against your clit and it’s almost enough to make you cum right then and there.
Harrison starts slowly moving in and out of you, his fingers slightly crooked, looking for that one spot. When you let out a moan and dig your fingers deeper into his forearm he knows he found it and continues to rub against it.
Your whole body is covered in goosebumps, your muscles tense as you throw your head back and lift your hips in an attempt to get closer to him. Harrison starts trailing kisses up your shoulder and neck and when he starts sucking on your sweet spot there, you’re a goner. Your pussy starts clenching around his fingers as your orgasm washes over you. You barely make out Harrison humming against your skin.
When you come down from your high, Harrison’s fingers are still inside you, moving ever so slowly as to not overstimulate you. You’re a long way from overstimulation though.
“Need you” You press out between groans, while you enjoy Harrison’s kisses and his fingers pleasuring you, it’s not nearly enough.
Harrison removes his hand and you find yourself pouting, but then he lifts his hand, your arousal shining on his fingers along with his ring. And then he puts them in his mouth, licking them clean with a hum, his eyes fixed on you and it might be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.
“Let’s take this somewhere else.” He whispers against your skin before scooping you up. You let out a small squeal and wrap yourself around him tighter. “Your place or mine?” His hot breath hits your ear and while waiting for your answer he trails some more kisses on your neck.
“I don’t care.” you manage to say and moments later Harrison kicks a door shut with his foot and lays you down. You’re surrounded by dark blue bedsheets and Harrison’s scent. Without any hesitation, Harrison gets back to covering your neck with kisses. His hands moving under your shirt pushing the fabric up your body. With one swift movement, you get rid of the shirt, now laying in front of him in your bra and shorts.
The way Harrison is looking at you makes shivers run down your spine.
“You’re so fucking sexy, Y/N,” Harrison mumbles, his fingertips trailing over your newly exposed skin. Arching your back, you push yourself closer to him, your need to feel him reaching a new high.
As soon as Harrison’s taken off his shirt, you run your hands over his toned torso until you reach the waistband of his grey sweatpants. He tenses for a second and lets out a shuddering breath when you tease your fingers under the fabric. You need to bite your lip to keep in the giggle that’s threatening to fall from your lips at his reaction. You never thought he’d be this responsive to your touch.
While Harrison leans down to nip at the soft skin of your neck and collarbones you reach into his boxers and wrap your hand around his cock. Harrison lets out a low groan, his hot breath hitting your skin.
He’s hard and heavy in your hand, and the thought of him inside of you again makes warmth pool between your legs. Harrison curses when you slowly start to stroke him. He rests his forehead against your shoulder as if to collect himself, his soft curls tickling your skin.
And then he lifts himself up enough so he can look at you, his eyes dark.
“You sure about this?” A tiny voice in your head is aware that sleeping with Harrison again, this time sober, is crossing a line that can’t be uncrossed. But haven’t you already crossed that line last week when you told him to fuck you? Right now, you don’t want to think about that, though. All you want is him.
Your mind is quickly distracted from all of these thoughts when you take in the sight of Harrison on top of you, and you nod eagerly.
“Yes. I need you.” As if to emphasise your words you tighten your hand around him a bit, making Harrison groan.
“Fuck”
You let go of his cock and place your hands on his chest “Are you sure about this?” As much as you want this right now, you won’t do anything he isn’t willing to do. You don’t want him to feel pressured just because you need a release, and you need it from him.
“Yes. Fuck yes. Just… gimme a second or I’ll cum way too soon” He lets out a strained laugh and you can’t help but chuckle as well. While Harrison hovers above you, you bury your hands in his hair, slightly scratching his skull with your fingertips, causing him to let out a low moan. It’s not the first time you’re doing this. Whenever you feel like he’s stressed or upset about something it’s a sure way to make him feel better.
“I love it when you do that.” He hums before leaning down to bury his face in the crook of your neck.
He starts placing kisses on your neck, his hands moving back between your legs. Your hips buck up the moment his fingers touch your clit.
“I think a second is over” You pant out while he draws lazy circles on your sensitive bud. You can already feel the coil in your stomach tightening again.
Harrison lets out a laugh before pulling his hands away to take off your shorts.
It doesn’t take long for both of you to completely undress and him to put on a condom and then he’s positioned between your legs.
You run your hands over his arms, his biceps bulging as he hovers over you. Has he always been this muscular?
You have no time to further think about that because in the next moment he’s placing his hand on the back of your knee, spreading your legs wider before lining up his cock and pushing into you.
You throw your head back at the feeling of finally being filled again, digging your fingertips into his back as he bottoms out.
“You feel so good.” He murmurs and then starts rolling his hips into you. One of his hands is holding your hip as he picks up his pace.
“Fuck, I love your cock.” You mewl out, causing Harrison to chuckle darkly.
“I know you do. The way your pussy was dripping just at the thought of it spoke for itself”
Your walls tighten around him at his words and you arch your back, spreading your legs further.
“I wanna ride you.” You say, and it only takes Harrison a few seconds to react. He pulls out of you and easily rolls over so you’re on top of him.
Harrison’s hands are on your hips, helping you balance as you sink down onto him, before moving to your waist as you try to find the best angle for yourself.
You gasp when the head of his cock strokes a particularly sensitive spot and, just like last time, your reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by Harrison. His face breaks out into a smile and his hands cup your breasts, playing with your nipples. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you groan.
You feel the tingling sensation start to spread through your body, getting more intense with each of your thrusts.
“I’m close”
“Yeah? Need me to make you cum?” He has the nerve to smirk up at you, his curls falling into his flushed face. You can’t help but notice how beautiful he is like this. He would be even more beautiful if he wasn’t being such a tease right now, though.
“Yeah, I’d appreciate it” You grind out. It’s not like you couldn’t take matters into your own hands (literally) but you know Harrison is able to take you there. If he can do it drunk he shouldn’t have a problem sober. Hell, he did it earlier on the couch. And you’re going to take advantage of someone else making you cum for a change. Who knows when you’re going to get the chance again?
“I’d love to watch you make yourself cum while riding my dick, though.” He grins. When you glare at him he bites his lip and returns his hands to your hips. “Maybe another time.”
And then he tightens his grip on you, holding you in place as he starts thrusting up into you, still at the perfect angle. You have to place your hands on his chest to support yourself as he pumps into you, your tits bouncing with every movement and then suddenly he wraps his lips around one of your nipples.
Your mouth falls open in a silent cry, you’re only seconds from finally being pushed over the edge. And then his finger finds your clit and you’re done for.
Words that don’t even make sense fall from your lips and you just barely notice Harrison’s words.
“Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy like that. Coming around my cock.” His words are strained as he keeps fucking into you, chasing his own release “Look at you. So good. Fuck.”
And then you feel him twitch inside you before he releases into the condom with a guttural moan.
Spent, you fall onto his chest. Both of you breathing heavily. After a few moments of catching your breath, you pull off him and let yourself fall next to him.
“So, that happened again.” You say, staring at the ceiling while Harrison disposes of the condom. Now that the fog of desire has lifted and you can think, more or less, clearly again, you realise that this was probably not the smartest thing to do.
Harrison lets out a chuckle as he joins you back on the bed. He’s laying on his side, his head propped up on his hand.
“It did. How are you feeling about it?”
You turn on your side as well to face him.
“Not to blow up your ego or anything but I don’t remember the last time I’ve had sex that amazing.”
“You don’t remember last week?” There’s a smirk on his face, so, with a roll of your eyes, you throw a pillow at him.
“I remember.” You narrow your eyes at him. “But I mean before that. It’s been so long.”
“Yeah, same.”
You never thought you’d find yourself in bed with Harrison. Have you thought about it? Yes. But you never thought it would actually happen. Let alone twice. And you never in your wildest dreams would’ve thought you’d be so… compatible? Even in long-term relationships you had in the past, it took a while for you and your partner to get to know each other's bodies.
But with Harrison, it seems like everything just comes naturally. Your bodies so in tune that it just works.
An idea starts forming in your head.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” Harrison is your best friend for a reason. Sometimes, he can read you like a book.
You bite your lip. “I don’t know. You might think it’s stupid.”
“I won’t think it’s stupid.” He pauses for a moment. “OK, maybe I will, but I promise not to laugh.”
“That’s not really reassuring.”
“I’m sorry.” He smiles. “Please tell me.”
You play with your fingers, plucking up the courage to tell him.
“So we both agree that the sex is good, right?" Harrison nods. "And we both don’t really have the time or want to, like, hook up with random people, right?" Another nod from Harrison. "So wouldn’t it be… convenient if we—“ You wave your hand between the two of you.
“If we—?” He raises his eyebrows. He’s gonna make you say it, isn’t he?
“Sleep with each other. A friends with benefits agreement if you will. No strings attached. No obligations.”
“Just sex?”
“Just sex.”
You hold your breath waiting for Harrison's answer.
A/N: Oooh, what will Harrison’s response be? I think we all know lmao. I hope you liked it! I’d love to hear your thoughts!
electric love taglist: @blueraindrops // @spideyssunshine // @defensive_sarcasm17 // @captainbucky13 // @frenchfrostpudding // @the-fan-18 // @hotforharrison // @osterfieldvol6 // @castawayclaires // @littlebookbengal // @bigbootyjudys-blog // @abcxrandomx // @74limelight // @lolooo22 // @justsayk // @mountainsforwords // @t-hollanderr
everything taglist: @spidermanlondon // @duskholland // @tutuabby28 // @missevrythingg // @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh // @thenoddingbunny-blog // @emilykjh // @clara-licht // @hollandfanficlove // @calltothewild // @crybabyalexxx // @hazardosterfield // @calsthomas // @quaksonhehe // @sinisterspidey // @thirzaholland // @tombrina // @outshineallthestars // @serendipitous-amor // @soincredible // @trustfundparker // @writertoo18 // @viagracex // @skamlover200 // @wonderlandfandomkingdom // @wehavetomakeourheartssitstill // @thearchersupremacy // @itstaskeen // @camimndess // @allyz // @technosoot // @fanficscuziranout // @parker-hollandx // @givebuckyhisplumsnow // @dangerouslovefanfic // @ertherealrose // @i-married-a-pineapple // @miraclesoflove // @bi-girlwrites-2000 // @seasidetom // @katcontrreras // * * // @fallingforfics // @destinedbooklover // @parkerpeter24 // @selfcarecap // @moonphoric // @just-a-littlebit-of-everything // @emistrash // @badreputationlove // @turtoix // @haloxmendes // @anjalika03 // @iamsherloki-wholocked // @the-fan-18 // @white-wolf1940 // @aidinniram // @heyhihellowhatsup0 // @blackbat2020 // @keithseabrook27 // @annathesillyfriend // @hoodpankow // @practicallylivesonline // @keithseabrook27 // @millennial-teenybopper // @beautifulrose0809 // @parachutepanties // @jamiealenaa // @hallecarey1
harrison osterfield taglist: @hjoficrecs // @lolychu // @hazardosterfield // @hollandbroz-n-haz // @emilyg453
series taglist: @softholand // @svturtles // @cloverrover // @goodgirlgonetom // @justafangirlduh // @thegirlwiththediary // @beyond-the-ashes // @parkerbunny // @bearsbeetsbarnes // @keithseabrook27
#harrison osterfield x reader#harrison osterfield fic#harrison osterfield smut#harrison osterfield series#harrison osterfield#harrison osterfield scenario#harrison osterfield fanfic
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college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: III (mark’s pathway)
a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class
markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?
genre: fluff
pairings: mark+my/n (fem), donghyuk+dy/n (fem), platonic!mark+dy/n, platonic!donghyuk+my/n
format: dotpoint AU
universe: non idol, college bf
warning: some swearing
masterlist
or click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!
II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV
III: 별빛이 내린다 샤라랄라랄라라 (2+2=4)
the meeting of two souls: mark & my/n
hi hello good day how are you? i hope you're well today/tonight this is like 3 weeks late isn't it :D pls don't come after me i lost some motivation to write for a while but here i am now so let's get to it!!
aight so you met donghyuk's roommate for the first time yesterday and,,
you honestly had NO IDEA someone could be that cute
highkey regretting not asking for his name but you were so caught up in lingering on the fact that he implied you were pretty , like wHO DOES THAT ASDFKJL
you highkey shouted the verbal equivalent of a keyboard smash with ur roommate and she was all !! oh so this guy cute cute
you were contemplating whether or not to sneakily ask donghyuk for his name but you were worried bc hyuk has,, crazy sense when it comes to reading people and seeing through their words
and honestly you didn’t want to have to deal with hyuk potentially teasing the shit out of u for having a maybe crush on his roommate whom u’d just met
so you just beat your pillow sleep on it after your roommate reminds you it’s getting late and no life decisions should be made after 12am!! live by it
you wake up craving jjajangmyeon but alas if you were to get any satisfaction of that kind of hunger, it was going to have to wait because
~~ we love ~~ packed schedules ~~ in this house ~~
i hopes the sarcasm was noted in that previous sentence bc now u wish for life to cease
4 weeks into the semester and you were drowning in the midst of reports and lab pracs and content and revision
you were ready to ascend to the next life with only regret and an ability to vaguely explain the properties of a prokaryotic cell and endosymbiosis
but honestly donghyuk’s been a big help throughout the past month
your only friend in classes
official study buddy
2am revision session consultant
personal older brother bc he claimed you as his adoptive sister
another reason your roommate told you to go to bed was bc you literally have
a tutorial class + 2 consecutive 1.5 hour lectures + a 3 hour lab class to finish your day off
with no break for lunch in between :’((
looks like you’ll be starving through your library study session with dy/n
but oop
you find that dy/n had stayed up long after you’d fallen asleep writing her essay
leaving your dorm feeling a twinge of guilt that u might have distracted her from focusing on her work to listen to your rambles and kept her up later than she should have been
but a text from her in the afternoon reassures u that honestly she wasn’t even planning to write that essay and The Feels™ had just hit her last night and that she made it to class
you: oh PHEW that’s good
you: sorry i didn’t wake you up on my way out, u looked so peaceful i couldn’t bear to disturb
dy/n 🦁: dw dw it’s all g i made it n e way
dy/n 🦁: also is it cool if my friend and his friend comes to the study sesh as well we have to go through some lecture content
you: ah yes don’t see why not :)) i’ll probs have my earphones in the entire time anyways lmao won’t affect me
but will it
“who u texting in the middle of diffusion” cue hyuk peering over at the phone you’re hiding in your lap
you click your tongue at him and lock your phone, “someone twice the man you’ll ever be”
he gasps in mock horror like he’d just witnessed a murder as quietly as he can ,,
“you’re texting a guy? in the middle of diffusion?”
“no. my roommate lmao”
“and what? is it me or your roomma—”
“—my roommate” you glance back up at the prof without looking at him
“ouch”
“you dare?”
“if i don’t dare, who will”
and due to this exchange, you miss the osmosis slide
“ah shit what was osmosis again”
“lmfao what makes u think i know that”
(pause)
“isn't it just.. net movement of free water molecules from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration”
sorry my bio neural pathways are being excited again after being revisited for the first time in two years
/stares at him/ “why was that infuriating to hear from u”
after class you prepare to head to your dreaded 3-hour lab class you have with donghyuk but he stands up and stares into the void blankly
“where am i going”
“where do u think”
“oh, hell, most likely”
you scoff at the accuracy and drag him out of the lecture hall
you look at donghyuk and he’s visibly resisting the urge to poke your cheek when he first puts on his gloves
“what’s with you today”
he stares at his hands forlornly, “idk ask that to my timetable”
“week 4 got u dead huh”
he glances at you with a frown, “don’t act like u’re not dying too”
“damn. touché”
to your dismay, the lab class runs later than scheduled and you get out of it 20 minutes after it was meant to finish but luckily it’s your last class
with a quick goodbye to donghyuk and a text letting dy/n know you were going to be a lil late, u stop by ur dorm to pick up ur textbook before rushing to the library
you were highkey exhausted and just. famished by that point
but a promise is a promise and you weren’t going to back out of one now
especially when you felt like you owed your roommate one and it was you who originally suggested a library session
so you get to the library, bag strap slung over your shoulder, checking the photo of the seats dy/n had saved for you in the library
highkey getting lost once or twice but you manage
you get to the general area and spot dy/n sitting at a four-seater (wow how’d they get that) but you
freeze when you see who’s sitting next to her
it’s ??
????????
????????????????
/error 404/
????????????????
????????
ur heart goes into panic mode bc
it’s not even kidding it’s donghyuk’s roommate
and despite ur brain short-circuiting
you manage to remember that dy/n had said that mentioned her friend’s.. roommate.. also coming along..
and if her friend was donghyuk’s.. roommate..
you: : )
you: oh my god they were roommates
and speak of the devil
“oh hey fancy seeing u here”
you turn around and it’s donghyuk legit chills right there
you barely reply a “hi”
“i thought u were going to ur dorm for dinner”
“ah yeah—no i’m.. gonna go over some.. diffusion”
“oii! over here dude” his roommate whisper-yells out at donghyuk
dy/n waves at you “heYY my/n”
donghyuk waves and turns back to you “welp i’m gonna join a study group.. you could join if you came alone? i’m sure they won’t mind”
“about that”
“u waiting for someone?”
“i’m going over there too”
“what?”
he glances over at the table and then back to you
“that’s my roommate. right there next to your roommate”
you point her out and then donghyuk’s jaw drops
“what the fUC—” and you both. burst iinto laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation
like ?? how???
“wOW r u KIDDING”
“HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN”
“talk about a coincidence.. oh my god my cheekbones hurt” he says as he clutches his side
so you get to the table and dy/n tries to introduce u to donghyuk’s roommate
“mark, this is my/n, my/n this is mark”
ah yes so mark is his name, you think
cute name for a cute boi
“nice to meet you again, mark”
dy/n: “?? again?”
mark gives u a rlly wide smile “yeah we’ve met. hi my/n”
you swear you’ve never had your heart flutter like this
fdksoafjadgioarigilf
then mark introduces dy/n to donghyuk and they start talking about how they’re your legal guardian and telling the other to “get in line”
leaving you in middle like “ok mum and dad” but also thinking back to when donghyuk was highkey flirting with you,, and now how he’s flirting with dy/n ,, oh dude he’s flirting
and highkey ,,, you don’t have any hard feelings about it ,, you know she’s also got this kind of humour code and she’s far more comfortable with meeting new people
until dy/n jokes about custody rules and donghyuk replies with “who says we’re split”
ok mum and dad
n e ways you came to study and study you will
so you settle down and go through your notes for the day
albeit being a lil distracted by mark who sits right across from you somehow, somewhy,,
somewhy should be a word you can’t tell me how to english
you keep wanting to steal glances at him but you have to physically restrain yourself from doing so
and also donghyuk who keeps poking u under the table and texting u even though he’s right next to you
💩hyuk: bro
💩hyuk: bro
💩hyuk: bro
💩hyuk: bro
💩hyuk: bro
you: wHAT
💩hyuk: nvm lol
you: im boutta slap u. give me my pen back i saw that
💩hyuk: damn
💩hyuk: also r u hungry
you: terribly
you: why
💩hyuk: does ur roommate have any allergies
you: not that i know of
you: again
you: why
you: u buyin?
💩hyuk: 🤡<- you
💩hyuk: 🤡, how do you feel about dinner
you: invalid question. no variable answer
💩hyuk: alright, 🤡. im not buying for u
you glower at him but he isn’t looking at u,, he leans back and laments about how he’s craving chinese food
did he read your damn mind how did he know
and apparently he’s read dy/n’s mind too at how she jumps up at the mention of chinese and agrees profusely
so you find yourself abandoning your studies for the rest of the night and in a restaurant lmfao
“chill,, guys,,, jjajang is fine”
rock paper scissors for the cheque ends in mark’s tears
“no it’s ok. i’m ok it’s our first meeting as a fateful group and it makes sense! for me to pay”
after you satisfy your cravings the boys walk dy/n and you back to your dorm
mark tells dy/n to give him her bag for him to carry and while she practically gives it up to him, he has to insist that he’ll carry yours too
to which you’re like omg no it’s fine i can carry it it’s not that heavy i swear—
until donghyuk takes ur bag off ur shoulder and passes it to mark
because of the narrow path, you’re forced to walk in pairs and you end up walking next to donghyuk who makes happy sounds about how good that food was and how priceless mark’s face was when he lost rock paper scissors
then dy/n takes the initiative to make a group chat for you four,, asking for donghyuk’s number to add
you give her a look like damn gurl but you have no idea if she saw or if she just ignored you on purpose lmfao
also donghyuk looked way too happy afterwards
either way you slapped her when you got back to the dorm like “SINCE WHEN WERE YOU SO ?? BRAVE?”
dy/n: um
dy/n: honey
dy/n: have you met me
and thus the chaos of a group chat was born and just like a real child, you spent hours on it
dy/n 🦁: ok we inside
you: thanks for dinner again mark!
💩hyuk: he says you’re welcome
💩hyuk: i say we “accidentally” lose our purses next time we go out
you: nah you’re paying next
💩hyuk: y
💩hyuk: y, 🤡
dy/n 🦁: yes y, 🤡
dy/n 🦁: HAHAH WHY IS SHE 🤡
💩hyuk: i thought you of all people would know
dy/n 🦁: why is she just as dumb in class as she is in the dorm?
💩hyuk: i knew it
dy/n 🦁: she poured too much hot water into her tea the other day it overflowed and spilt onto her foot
mark: oh no were u okay
💩hyuk: looks like you’re gonna have to study osomsis
💩hyuk: osmoiss
💩hyuk: fuck
you: yes i’m okay it wasn’t that hot i had socks on too
💩hyuk: osmosis
dy/n 🦁: avoided tragedy luckily
💩hyuk: finally
you: there is a reason you’re saved as 💩hyuk on my phone
dy/n 🦁: HAAHAHAHAHHAHAH
seriously you just don’t know just how much this group was going to mean to you yet
click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!
II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV
shoot me an ask if you’d like to be tagged in future parts!
#dreamwritersnet#kwritersworldnet#neowriters#nct au#nct 127 au#nct dream au#markhyuck#markhyuck au#markhyuck x reader#mark x reader#haechan x reader#donghyuck x reader#mark au#haechan au#donghyuck au#nct college#nct college au#eng lit mark#paediatrics haechan
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I have another prompt for my dear! please could i have a college au where cat and kara are room mates who are secretly dating and Cat’s parents surprises them. please can you include the line “for gods sake put on some pants kara.” NC x
It took FOREVER to finish this (one night, one day and almost half another night) but I hope you like it. It’s full AU, Cat & Kara are about the same age in this fic (around 23 & 25yo probably), I took a lot of liberties (Cat might feel a little OOC, I’m not happy about it but since they’re young ... why not?) and I added a twist at the end for the actual line of the prompt. Careful, it’s rated E Thanks NASCAR anon for this prompt!
—
“It’s perfect!”
Kara’s excitement echoes in the apartment.
“Of course it is! I lived here, until a week ago …” Lois replies, sounding amused. “Now, the thing you have to know about this perfect, cheap rent-controlled, three-bedrooms apartment with the real pine-wooden floor, the high ceilings, the many windows that let in as much sunlight as possible …”
Kara narrows her eyes at her friend, sensing that there’s a catch coming.
“… Is that it comes with a roommate.” Lois finishes with a smile.
It’s a cartoon worthy scene; Kara’s jaw all but drop in astonishment. Lois doesn’t even look sheepish, Kara absentmindedly notices. If anything, she looks almost smug, as if proud of her little prank.
“I’m not taking it,” Kara flats out declare, grabbing her backpack and moving toward the door. “I can’t believe I got my hopes up, I should have known better.”
“Hey, what does that even mean?” Lois calls after her, sounding outraged. “Hey! Kara, come on. You know you won’t be able to afford anything else as nice and as close as everything you want.”
That makes Kara pauses, because it’s nothing but the truth.
The apartment is spacious, luminous, close to everything she needs and it even has a small garage next to the building where she could park her bike. Not to mention that the cheap rent is nothing short of a miracle, especially in this neighborhood.
Kara hesitates, hovering near the entrance. She quickly studies her options. Alex did tell her she was welcome for as long as she needed but she knew her sister’s patience was starting to grow thin, especially since Lucy came back from her semester abroad and was now living with her. Lena would be more than happy to have her but the situation in between them was still a little weird and beside, Kara didn’t want to risk stumbling upon either Lex or Lillian Luthor. Winn would be over the moon but her exuberant friend would be too much for her in less than a week, she could bet her weight in potstickers.
“I hate you,” Kara mutters under her breath. She needs a place to stay and this apartment is her best option, she knows it. Turning around, she glares at her friend “Why didn’t you tell me about the roommate in the first place?”
“I knew you needed to see the place, first. It’s a really good place, you know?” Lois gestures around, encompassing her surroundings. Kara can only nods because the large living room full of bookcases already feels like home, just like the all-equipped American kitchen on the other side of the place, with an island that has stools in front of it.
“Still. Not cool,” Kara mumbles and this time, Lois does look a little contrite. “Anyway, where’s the roommate?”
“She’s abroad for the moment, she’ll be back in a week or so. I already texted her to inform her, she’s … Well,” Lois trails off, looking a little thoughtful. Kara narrows her eyes again. “She’s something, that’s for sure.”
Kara groans and rubs at her eyes.
“Meaning she’s not happy you trapped her with a new roommate in her absence. That’s just great, thanks a lot Lois.” Kara sighs, looking down to search for her phone in her backpack. “Who’s she, anyway? What does she do?”
Lois doesn’t reply right away. Kara finds her phone and looks up, following Lois line of sight and landing on a frame hanged on the wall, near one of the bookshelves.
“You have got to be kidding me … Your roommate is your ex?” Kara asks, stepping forward to study the picture.
It shows Lois on the left, radiant with a carefree smile and her dark hair wind-whipped around her head, looking down at a smaller, blond woman whose smile is a little more reserved but her hazel green eyes are lit up with joy and love. They look incredibly happy, standing close to each-others and with a jungle waterfall in the background.
“You’re moving in with my cousin and leaving me to deal with your ex? That’s a new low for you, Lois,” Kara accuses, turning an angry glare to her friend.
“Come on Kara, it’s not like that!” Lois retorts, sounding a little hurt. “Cat and I are still best friends. We broke up a long time ago, way before I met Clark …”
Lois glances at the picture and her eyes soften in a way that tells Kara she probably doesn’t know the whole story there.
“Does she know who I am?” Kara groans, because she doesn’t need more drama in her life.
“Not specifically, no. She knows you’re a friend of Lucy,” Lois replies. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to tell her, not right away at least.”
“Gee, talk about a poisoned apple …” Kara mutters, looking around at the splendid apartment that came with such a high price. “Anything else I should know about?”
“Yes … Cat’s the heir of a big, big law-firm. Her parents are … Well, loaded doesn’t even start to cover it. They’re all the way up next to the Kennedy, the Clinton or whatever rich family you can think of, when it comes to the level of wealth.”
“And that’s important because …” Kara prods, arching an unimpressed brow.
“Because that reaction, right there, slightly judgmental and downright provocative, will get you ejected in no time,” Lois retorts, rolling her eyes. “Cat’s family is very rich, sure, but she actually works really, really hard to get by on her own. The only money she accepts from her parents is for her birthday and at Christmas and I’m pretty sure she gives most of it to a bunch of charity association anyway.”
“She works?” Kara snorts, disbelief clear in her voice.
“She does, yes. She’s a law student but she’s also taking a bunch of Business and Communication night classes, when she’s not tutoring or working as a part-time assistant for Perry White.”
Kara doesn’t say anything to that. She figures if the woman works so much, she won’t be around too often and maybe, maybe this arrangement will work.
“Alright. I’m taking it,” Kara sighs and she waves a threatening finger in front of Lois when her friend smiles victoriously. “However, this goes against my better judgment and don’t think you’ll get away with this so easily.”
“Sure, whatever you say, super puppy,” Lois replies with a laugh before handing over the keys and the paperwork.
—
“You’re the new roommate,” a voice comes from the entrance of her bedroom.
Kara doesn’t even startle. Instead, she finishes writing the line she’s started and then put down her pen, flexing her fingers to chase the slight cramp that threatens to spread.
Eventually, she looks up from her essay and falls into a pair of startlingly bright hazel eyes. It’s a little mesmerising, with golden sparkles swirling in it that somehow highlight the very faint freckles on her eyes and cheeks.
“I don’t know if ‘new’ is the right word,” Kara retorts, eying the woman standing in her door frame. She’s small but somehow, her presence is very commanding. She breathes power and authority, especially with the powerful black high-heels, the black pencil skirt and matching jacket opened on a crisp white shirt. “I’ve been living here for three months, now.”
It had been like living with a ghost, so far, and a fancy one with that. One that left leftovers sushi in the fridge, that drinks wine and seems to have a soft spot for dark chocolate, who dresses all fancy and sometimes forgets a pair of shoes, a shirt or a jacket in the living room, who stacks up books as if it was collector and who leaves a very strong, heady trail of spicy yet woody perfume behind.
Kara hadn’t minded in the least, glad to have the space for herself on the rare moments she’d been in. Still, her curiosity had more than once left her hesitating in front of the perfectly white door, devoid of any posters or decorative element in any kinds, that led to Cat’s bedroom.
Cat smiles, slowly.
She looks a little older than in the picture that still hangs on a wall in the living room. Her hair, of a distinct shade of golden blond, is shorter and barely brushes her shoulders now, lazily curling toward the end. She’s wearing makeup but it’s light, as far as Kara can tell. No daring lipstick, no pronounced contour or strong blush, it’s all carefully applied to give the illusion of something natural.
Kara leaves her desk and comes to stand in front of Cat, distractingly noticing she’s still a little taller despite the daring high-heels.
“Kara Danvers,” she introduces herself, extending a hand. “Pleasure.”
Cat looks at the hand and seems to hesitate for a moment. Kara doesn’t back off and waits, not looking away.
Eventually, Cat seizes Kara’s fingers and gives them a firm handshake. “Cat Grant. Likewise.”
After that, Cat leaves without a word and Kara takes a deep breath, inhaling the woody perfume that still hangs in the air.
—
“How is it going with this roommate of yours?” Lucy asks, handing a beer to Kara before sitting down next to her on the couch.
“It’s … civilized, I guess?” Kara replies, taking a big swing off her beer and slouching against the cushions with a heavy sigh. “She’s barely there anyway, it’s like living with a very clean ghost.”
Lucy laughs and Alex, sat on the floor next to Lucy’s legs, snorts.
“Cat Grant is many many things, but she’s certainly no ghost.” Lucy eventually replies, voice soft and gentle, and Kara glances at her.
“Right, you must know her, since she dated Lois for a while …” Kara recalls, before cheering as Alex manages to beat her record time in the car-racing video game she’s playing.
“I do know Cat Grant, yes,” the younger Lane nods. “She’s … well. I have no words to describe Cat Grant.”
That earns Lucy a curious look from Alex before the game starts again. Lucy seems lost in her mind for a little while but when she returns to the moment at hand, it’s with a warning in her eyes.
“Piece of advice though, my sister broke Cat’s heart when she ended things with her and despite Lois insisting that they’re still best friend, I wouldn’t mention your cousin’s name around her.”
“Shouldn’t be a problem,” Kara mumbles. “Aside from this one time where we officially met each other, I haven’t seen her.”
Lucy gives her a strange look but then Alex swears, loudly, and their attention is back on the game.
—
It starts with post-its.
Kara is in a hurry one day, she grabs the plate of leftover sushi to bring as her lunch and leaves a yellow note instead. It says “Sorry about the sushi, I needed lunch. I’ll buy you a fresh plate tonight.”
The same evening, she places a fancy assortment of sushi in the fridge and leaves a green post-it : “As promised; fresh from that shop you seems to like. I asked for your usual. Bye!”
The following morning, as Kara opens the fridge to grab the milk, she notices a post-it on the plate of sushi, but it’s blue. The handwriting is neat and precise “Thank you. Help yourself if you need the rest for lunch. C.”
It takes Kara totally by surprise. She was mostly expecting some kind of warning, a subtle “back off” kind of reply but the apparent easiness of this little exchange warms her heart.
When she comes back from her shift at the bar she’s tending every three nights, she places a bottle of fancy wine on the kitchen island and sticks a pink post-it on it. “Thanks for the lunch! I heard it’s good wine, let me know if you like it? Bye.”
The next afternoon, when she emerges, the bottle is gone but there’s a brown bag instead, with a yellow post-it. “The wine is actually one of my favorite, thank you. Potstickers? I noticed you seem to eat a lot of them … Enjoy. C.”
That makes Kara’s day.
—
“Movie night?” says the pink post-it on the coffee table when Kara comes back from her soccer practice.
She laughs and shouts across the apartment “I need a shower first, meet me on the couch in twenty minutes. Also, I’m ordering pizza, our usual.”
Kara pulls out her phone from her pocket and calls their usual place.
The man on the other side greets her by her first name and jokes with her about the last national soccer game score before telling her their pizzas will be there in half an hour. She thank him and writes “Pizzas will be there in 30 min” on a blue post-it, replacing the pink one on the coffee table.
Once in her room, she carefully add the post-it to her collection, in a notebook that’s already filled with colorful notes. She’s annotated each one with a quick context quote so now the little book is telling a story.
Kara smiles softly at the last note and then closes the notebook, already stripping from her dirty clothes before she jumps in the shower.
—
“I’m fine, Alex, I swear! It looked a lot scarier than it was, I promise,” Kara protests, swatting away her sister’s hand. “Stop fussing!”
Alex leans back and glares down at her sister, Lucy standing next to her.
“Scarier doesn’t even begin to cover it,” Alex growls, eyes flashing with anger. “I just watched you get hit by a car thrown at full speed, get ejected from your bike, fly across the road and then land miles away, right through the windshield of another car. It truly is a wonder you’re still alive!”
Kara looks a little sheepish at that but her stubbornness resurfaces instantly and she raises her chin.
“Yet, I’m perfectly alright and I’ll be out in two days. Now stop fluffing my pillows!” Kara pushes Alex’s hands away again.
“Wait until mom hears about this,” Alex threatens, storming out of the room after one last glance at her sister.
Lucy sighs and takes a seat by Kara’s medial bed. She doesn’t say anything, she simply watches and Kara slowly deflates under the unrelenting, watchful gaze.
“I know. I’m being an asshole,” Kara sighs, finally looking away. She feels bad that she scared Alex and Lucy but honestly, she’s been through worse. “I just … I hate hospitals.”
Her voice is small and low. Lucy doesn’t say anything, she simply takes one of Kara’s hands in hers and squeezes. Kara squeezes back, grateful for her friend’s quiet presence.
“Oh my gosh, Kara!”
“Cat?” Kara looks up and sees Cat enters the room, a look of pure panic written across her face.
In all the months they’ve been basically living together, it’s the first time Cat’s not all perfectly put together. She looks disheveled, her cheeks have that red glow that comes from running against the wind and her clothes, a pair of casual jeans and a soft navy blue pull-over, are too casual and a little crumpled, not perfectly adjusted like always. Her eyes are ablaze with panic and adrenaline and Kara watches, a little enthralled, as the golden sparkles swirl and swirl and swirl around in the hazel irises.
“You idiot!” Cat shouts, striding forward and hitting the ground with more force than strictly necessary. That’s when Kara notices Cat isn’t wearing heels. “What the hell were you thinking!”
Cat stops on the other side of the bed, across from where Lucy’s sat and still holding Kara’s hand.
“Uh … I was just driving back to the apartment …” Kara tries to reply but the burning glare Cat throws her shuts her up right away.
“You could have died, you absolute, stubborn, ridiculous idiot!” Cat accuses and Kara shrinks a little in her bed, not understanding why Cat was so angry at her. “I was waiting for you for our usual movie night, but you didn’t come home. You weren’t answering my texts and it was getting so late …”
Cat takes a deep breath and Kara goes to say something but another glare dissuades her.
“I eventually texted Winn, thinking you were still at the bar, to ask if you were alright. Imagine my surprise when he instantly called me and told me you’ve been rushed into the nearest hospital, because you got hit by a car!” Cat all but yells the last few words, fury echoing in her voice and it’s suddenly too much because she’s pacing.
“I was already on my way when you sister called me, to let me know about the accident,” Cat adds and now she looks hurt. Kara doesn’t even know why, she doesn’t understand what prompted Cat to unleash like this. They’ve been getting close lately, verging on the line of best-friends really, but this categorized relationship doesn’t explain Cat’s outburst.
Helplessly, she stares at her roommate and notices the unshed tears gathered in the hazel green eyes. All of a sudden, Cat looks small, vulnerable and so impossibly lost, all Kara wants to do is leap out of her bed and hold her close.
She opens her mouth to apologize when a new voice echoes in the room.
“Kara! Thank God you’re alright!”
Clark rushes to her side and grabs her hand, already fussing around her like her sister did before, puffing the pillow, moving the plate of food and beverage around, checking the tubes and the machines gathered near the bed.
“I got so scared, when Alex called! What happened, who did this?” Clark points to the bandage around her head and then to the many strips on her collarbones and along her arms. He looks incredibly relieved but Kara sees the anger in his eyes, not knowing if it’s directed at her or at the person responsible for her injuries.
“Clark Kent? You … You know Kara?” Cat asks, looking stunned and a little confused. Kara winces and pushes her cousin away, ready to explain, when Lois makes her entrance.
“For the love of God, Kara, we got so scared! Don’t do that again okay?”
“Gee, what is it with you people, do you seriously think I did this on purpose? Stop telling me to not do that again, I’m not the one responsible for the accident”, Kara rebels and glares at everyone around, her eyes bouncing from Lucy, to Clark, to Lois and finally, they land on Cat.
Cat, who’s glancing between Lois, Clark and her, looking utterly hurt, betrayed even. Kara winces again and reaches a hand but Cat shakes her head no.
“Hey there, Kitty Cat!” Lois greets, sounding surprised and slightly uncomfortable, and Kara wants to disappear into the ground and to never face either Lois or Cat ever again. “I didn’t know you’d be there.”
“Believe or not, neither did I,” Cat retorts, curtly. Her eyes are flashing with hurt, anger and confusion. The golden sparkles are dimmed, in the darkness of her green irises and Kara shudders when the gaze focuses on her. “Of course, you’re related to Clark.”
“He’s … my cousin, yes. We’re … almost the same age, give or take six months,” Kara nods, knowing better than to lie her way out of this situation. Cat’s gaze is full of heat and Kara squirms.
“Is there a reason as to why you never told me about this particular relationship?” Cat asks, voice cold and collected, the green of her eyes darkening even more.
“Actually, that’s my fault,” Lois jumps in, looking very sheepish. Kara wants to tell her to shut up, to stop talking but of course, there’s no telling that to Lois Lane. Ever. “I told Kara you would throw her out of the apartment if you knew about her relationship to Clark. I advised her to … not say anything.”
Cat seems about to lash out again but before she can says something, she’s interrupted.
“What on earth is happening in here?” Alex asks, stepping into the room and glancing at all the people present. One look at Cat and Lois tells her everything she needs to know.
“Oh,” Alex sighs. She takes a deep breath and then looks right into Cat’s eyes. “Cat, I’m sorry we never told you. It wasn’t right. I shouldn’t have played along with Lois idea to keep this relationship a secret and I’m truly, really sorry.”
A thick, stunned silence follows Alex’s apology. Cat looks thrown off, more than anyone else, but she manages to recompose herself.
“Thank you, Alex. I … appreciate that,” Cat accepts the apology and then gestures to Kara. “Please, take care of the stubborn idiot over there.”
After that, she exits the room without another words.
—
There’s no post-it waiting for her when she returns to the apartment, three days later. The place is dark and quiet and Kara doesn’t even need to check to know Cat’s gone.
She’s tried to reach out, through texts and calls, for the past three days but Cat is nothing if persistent in her indifference. Kara feels miserable and while it’s tempting to blame it all on Lois, she knows it’s her own fault.
She should have told Cat about Lois secret the moment they started being friends.
They’ve been so close lately, having regular movie night on the couch together with various sort of take-out, Kara showing up at Cat’s work after her soccer practice to pick her up and bring her home, Cat studying on Kara’s bed while Kara wrote her essays at her desk with soft music in the background, Cat dropping by at Kara’s bar, in between Kara’s shift, to have a drink or share some food, the many excursions they went through across town, the museums Cat dragged Kara to, the walks by the beach sharing an ice-cream or some candy flush, talking and laughing and debating about one thing or another.
Cat’s love for old books and the way she would sometimes smell like it, like dust and old pages, a scent Kara found familiar and grounding. Kara’s strange tastes in music and Cat’s mockery of it, a façade to hide the fact she was very curious and sometimes even liked the same things Kara did. Cat’s tendency to tidy everything and Kara’s messy self, their many arguments about a forgotten sweater or a pair of sneakers in the way. Kara’s terrible attempts at cooking and Cat’s irritated yet fond looks whenever she tried something new.
Cat’s warmth against her flank on the couch as they watched a movie. Cat’s way to adjust the collar or whatever top Kara was wearing before they left the apartment. Cat’s scent, heady and dizzying, so comforting, that still lingered on the couch long after she was gone.
Cat’s laugh, like a melody, a sound that meant home.
She never realized how much Cat had come to mean to her, until she was gone.
—
“Why so glum?” Winn asks, sitting down at a stool next to her. He looks a little concerned but mostly, his eyes have the glazed glow of someone who’s had too much to drink.
“Nothing,” Kara sighs, nursing her glass of Scotch and watching as Alex and Lucy dance together in the middle of the crowd. “I just … nevermind.”
“Feel lonely?” Winn supplies and Kara throws him a shocked glare, a little alarmed that her very drunk friend is still able to read her so easily.
“Come on. You’ve been mooning over that roommate of your for months now, it’s practically visible from space,” Winn rolls his eyes and then winces, apparently regretting the move. “I’m guessing she’s still not talking to you and … you miss her, am I right?”
Kara sighs, heavily so.
“Yeah, I do. It’s ridiculous, really.” Kara lets out a frustrated breath. “She’s … she’s Cat Grant.”
“What does being Cat Grant entails, exactly?” Winn asks with a frown, because of course he doesn’t see the point.
Kara finishes her drink and asks for another one before taking a deep breath.
“She’s … she’s so incredibly smart, in a way I still can’t exactly fathom. Her mind is quick and sharp, she manages to see the details in everything without loosing the big picture. She’s witty, too.” Kara chuckles, eyes sparkling. “Her sarcasm has this cutting edge that could probably freeze the sun but somehow, when she smiles … it’s like … it’s like … she is the sun itself, you know? It lit up her whole being from the inside, she just glows and it reaches her eyes. It always reaches her eyes when she genuinely smiles.”
Winn’s listening, eyes intent on her despite the drunken glaze.
“She’s incredibly proud. She doesn’t like when people just overlook her because her parents have money. She’s a real perfectionist, you know? Always pushing for everyone to be the better version of themselves, to never be content with just what they have and to dare reaching out for more. She’s doing it to herself, to the point it must be exhausting, I think,” Kara smiles, a little sadly. Cat never allows herself to just be herself. “She works really hard, in her classes, for the students she’s tutoring and even in her job. She never gives up. I’ve heard stories of how she’s treated in this newspapers … It makes my skin crawl everytime she talks about it, but she doesn’t even pay attention to it. She’s ambitious. So much, I swear one day she’ll be president or something.”
“Well, here’s one career path I didn’t even consider, until now …”
Kara swirls around on her stool, so fast she almost ends up on the floor but hands land on her hips and steady her. Cat’s smiling, a little smugly, and her eyes are bright with something Kara doesn’t even dare to interpret. She steps forward and invades Kara’s space, smelling like spice and wood, with just a hint of alcohol.
“Hey,” Kara whispers, dropping her eyes to her knees. “You’re … back.”
“I wasn’t supposed to be,” Cat replies, her voice low and a little hesitant now. She still has her hands on Kara’s hips and Kara feels her skin burn under the warmth of Cat’s palms, through her clothes. “I just … I … I missed you.”
Kara freezes and then blinks, a little helplessly. “You did?”
“I did,” Cat smiles, leaning forward. “I took a plane this afternoon and then came straight from the airport because Winn texted me, said you were here.”
Kara glances at her friend but the stool he previously occupied was empty. Kara and Cat were all alone near the bar, save it from the coming and going bartender on the other side of it.
“How much of it did you hear?” Kara asks, swallowing hard under Cat’s focused gaze.
“Apparently, your mooning over me is visible from space …” Cat chuckles and Kara groans, hiding her face in between her hands and muttering something about killing Winn.
“Please don’t,” Cat whispers, slowly prying Kara’s fingers away from her face. “I’ve been … too scared to make a move. I didn’t know … I didn’t know you felt that way about me.”
Kara looks up to meet Cat’s gaze. It’s so bright and hopeful, it takes Kara’s breath away.
“I did. I do. I …” Kara sighs, looking down again. “I should have told you about Clark, I’m sorry about that. I thought … I thought maybe you wouldn’t like me anymore, if you knew I was Clark Kent’s cousin. I know you and Lois have a … complicated story.”
Cat slowly removes her hands from Kara’s hip and the loss is jaring, it makes Kara shudders. Cat takes the stool Winn has just vacated and looks at Kara with sadness in her eyes.
“We … had, a complicated story. I’m not going to lie, she broke my heart when she ended our relationship but it’s not fair to put all the blame on her, as tempting as it is,” Cat explains with a slight chuckle. Kara arches a surprise brow but doesn’t say anything. “I … never told my parents, about Lois and I. Worse, I hid her, on the few times they came visit me. She …”
Cat draws in a breath and accepts the glass of wine the bartender places in front of her. She’s a regular in this bar where Kara sometimes works, the other bartenders know what she likes and they’re past the point of asking, they just go with it.
“As flawed as Lois is, as annoying as she can sometimes be, she never hid who she was and she didn’t deserve the way I was treating her, back then. I … I understand, why she broke up with me. We stayed friends, and I value her friendship a great deal.”
Kara tilts her head and looks at the way Cat plays with her drink. The deep burgundy beverage swirls in the glass, slowly, regularly, it’s a little fascinating.
“I got so scared, Kara. When Winn called me to let me know about your accident … I felt as if my whole world was crumbling. I was … terrified of losing you. I didn’t understand why, at first,” Cat says and there’s a tremor in her voice, hints of terror in her hazel eyes. “I might be a little … awkward, when it comes to feelings. Dealing with it has never been my strong suit and I’m a firm believer of bottling everything up and letting it sink somewhere safe.”
Kara slowly reaches and takes Cat’s hand in hers, brushing her thumb across Cat’s knuckles. She doesn’t say anything but with just a nod, she encourages her to keep talking.
“I found you in the hospital, all banged up, with a bandage on your head and everywhere on your body and I … I wanted to hold you, to feel that you were real, still alive and not going anywhere but I … I got scared, Kara,” Cat breathes, squeezing Kara’s fingers. “Of my own feelings, their intensity, the way it ruled every thoughts in my head, every decision I could make, everything. Clark was just … a convenient excuse for me to reject the blame on something else. I admit, I did feel a little betrayed that you didn’t tell me, but it’s not why I stormed off. It’s not the reason I left town.”
“Why did you?” Kara asks, softly. She thinks she knows the answer but she still needs to hear it and more importantly, Cat needs to say it.
“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” Cat sasses, wanting to remove her hand but Kara holds on and nods. Cat nods too and takes another deep breathe, followed by a long swing of wine. It takes her a minute but she eventually manages to look Kara in the eyes.
“I … I think I’m … falling in love with you, Kara Danvers.”
Kara smiles, widely. “You think?”
Cat rolls her eyes and swats at Kara’s hand. “Shut up.”
“Aww, no,” Kara says, grabbing back Cat’s hand and pulling it close, placing it over her heart. Its frantic beats seem to surprise Cat and she stops struggling against Kara’s hold. “Let me talk. I don’t think I’m falling in love with you. I know I am. I have been in love with you for a long, long time now, but I didn’t want to admit it. I’m no better than you when it comes to feelings, it’s a fucking scary thing.”
Cat gasps and Kara brushes her thumb against the hollow of Cat’s wrist. “I love you, Cat Grant. I love you, and I’m an idiot for not having said so any sooner.”
“You are an idiot,” Cat nods but there’s no denying the pure, unadulterated happiness that shines in her eyes as she smiles, genuinely, widely so. “You’re my idiot.”
Kara doesn’t wait and leans forward, kissing Cat with all she has and all she is. It’s soft and yet intense, tender but passionate and so incredibly intimate. Her hands move to hold Cat’s cheeks, cradling her close and keeping her there as she pulls back, a little breathless.
“I’ve been dreaming of kissing you since the moment you fell asleep on my lap while watching The Empire Strike Back,” Kara whispers against Cat’s lips, earning a chuckle and an eye roll.
“You know I don’t like Star Wars,” Cat muses, dropping a kiss at the corners of Kara’s mouth.
“Liar. You love it,” Kara shakes her head and her laugh gets swallowed in another kiss, deeper this time, more demanding, pressing. A hand tugs at the front of her sweater and she obliges, stepping up from the stool and invading Cat’s space to slide herself in between Cat’s legs.
A moan escapes the back of Cat’s throat and the sound sends a bolt of pure desire down Kara’s core, making her tremble a little against Cat.
“Wanna get out of here?” Kara asks, moving her lips down to Cat’s jawline and dropping a line of soft, sweet kisses alongside it.
“I thought you’d never ask,” Cat groans and before Kara knows it, she’s being dragged outside by her girlfriend.
—
Nothing really changes.
They still have a movie night once or twice a week. Kara still goes to pick up Cat after her soccer practice. They still go to the beach and to the museums together, sharing ice-cream or candy flush. They still study together, listening to music. Kara still tries to cook on a regular basis, under Cat’s fond yet unimpressed gaze. They still argues about the clothes in the living room.
There’s just a lot of making out in the middle.
Sometimes, the movie plays on the TV but no one is watching. Books and essays lie on the floor, amongst the discarded clothes that tend to get removed very quickly these days. There’s hand holding whenever they’re outside together, sweet kisses and small gestures. They go to Alex and Lucy for game nights once a week and it’s comfortable, easy. They still argue and sometimes they even fight and they end up sleeping in their respective bedroom, until one of them caves and gets up to join the other one in the middle of the night. Cat goes to Kara’s soccer games and Kara makes the regular effort to attend some of Cat’s work events.
All in one, they work and it lasts.
—
“You guys are so sickeningly in love, it’s disgusting,” Alex grumbles one morning, three months after the official start of Cat and Kara’s relationship.
She’s hovering by the door with a box of donuts and a cardboard trail full of coffee cups.
“Alex, do come in,” Cat smiles and opens the door a little wider for the older Danvers to step in.
“Is my sister even decent?” Alex asks, nervously looking around. She’s walked on them a few times already and she now knows better than to just knock and enter without answer.
“She’s getting dressed, yes,” Cat chuckles, rolling her eyes before eying the coffee cups with interest.
“Yes, one of them is for you,” Alex puts the donuts box on the kitchen island and hand over her non-fat, no whole milk, bulletproof latte to Cat. She looks a little nauseous as she picks up her own cup. “I don’t know how you can drink this, seriously.”
“Force of habit, I suppose,” Cat shrugs.
Kara bounces out of Cat’s bedroom and comes hug her sister before moving around to kiss Cat. It’s soft and sweet, brief but with just enough love to content Cat, who relaxes back against the kitchen island with a dreamy smile on her lips.
“Sickening,” Alex mutters but there’s a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
“You’re just jealous because Luce’s away for a few weeks and you miss her,” Kara rolls her eyes at her sister and opens the donuts box, already picking a chocolate one and handing it over to Cat. She then chooses a jelly filled one for herself. “Where is she anyway?”
“Paris, again,” Alex sighs. “Her environmental law firm is sending her to negotiate at a climate summit or something.”
“Our hero,” Kara smiles and she means it. It makes Alex smile too.
“Alright, are you ready?”
“Sure, let’s go,” Kara says, moving around to go pick up her bag in Cat’s bedroom. When she comes back, Alex is waiting for her by the door and Cat’s lingering near the couch, looking a little sad.
“Awww no, don’t be sad. It’s only three days, I’ll be back before you know it,” Kara laughs, dropping the back on the couch to hug her girlfriend.
“Urgh. I’m gonna wait for you in the car, bye Cat!” Alex says, waving goodbye and then closing the door behind her, offering them some privacy.
“I know, I know but I just …” Cat pauses, looking a little frustrated. Kara slides a finger under Cat’s chin and lift it, slowly.
“Tell me,” Kara pushes, looking into Cat’s eyes. She knows it’s still hard for Cat to deal with feelings, to accept and express them.
“I don’t sleep when you’re not here,” Cat whispers, looking small and vulnerable. Kara’s heart burst out with love and she leans in to kiss her girlfriend, long and hard. Hands tangle in her hair and a body she now knows by heart presses against hers.
“I love you, Cat Grant. I can’t wait to come back to you,” Kara says softly, randomly dropping a few kisses on Cat’s face. It seems to ease Cat just enough to make a smile appears.
“Please do,” she whispers, leaning forward to place her forehead against the crock of Kara’s shoulder.
“You know I will, Cat. I’m not going anywhere, you’re stuck with me for as long as you’ll have me,” Kara replies, caressing Cat’s hair with one hand and stroking her back with the other. “I’m your idiot, remember?”
That makes Cat laugh and it’s how Kara knows she can go.
—
Kara climbs the stairs leading to their apartment so fast she almost falls a few time. She’s holding her bag, overthrown on one shoulder, with one hand and the other is keeping a bouquet of flowers upright. White lilies, Cat’s favorite.
She drops the bag at her feet and fumbles around to find her keys, barely managing to enter the right one in the lock when the door is thrown open in front of her. She’s expecting Cat but instead, there’s a much older woman in front of her.
“Hello,” says the stranger. “Who are you?”
The woman is smaller than Kara but the commanding presence is oddly familiar. She’s concealing her age fairly well but the creases on her forehead, the crinkles around her eyes and the defined veins on her hands are still giving it away. She’s wrapped in a burgundy ensemble, pants and a matching jacket over a black shirt and she’s wearing heels. Her pixie haircut hardens her features and highlight the dark green of her eyes.
“Uh … I’m Kara, and I live here. Who are you?” Kara asks, frowning at the stranger in her apartment.
“I’m Kat …” the woman says and Kara snorts.
“No you’re not,” Kara replies and the woman throws her an irritated look that’s all too familiar.
“If you let me finish … I’m Katherine Grant, Cat’s mother.”
Kara gapes and stares, unable to says anything. It’s definitely not what she was expecting to come home to.
“You must be … the roommate,” Katherine muses, looking up and down at Kara’s figure. “Are those flowers for us?”
“Us?” Kara repeats, entirely too lost to do anything else.
She’s coming back from a very intense soccer camp training, she’s exhausted, missing her girlfriend and the way this woman is looking at her with something like disdain in her eyes is grating on her nerves.
“My husband and I,” Katherine exaggeratedly articulates, as if she was talking to a dumb person. “I assume my daughter told you about our visit?”
Kara grits her teeth and counts to ten before she manages to plaster a smile on her lips and extends a hand.
“Actually, she probably forgot to tell me. I’ve been away for a few days and just coming back from a sport camp, but here,” Kara gives away the flowers. “I’m Kara Danvers and despite the awkward beginning, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Grant.”
That seems to please Katherine because the faint shadow of a smile tugs at the corners of her lips. It’s barely there but Kara’s taking whatever she can, especially since the 'meeting the parents’ situation didn’t start out so great.
“Is Cat around?” Kara asks, trying not to sound too hopeful.
“She’s on her way back from work, apparently,” a man’s voice echoes behind Katherine. Kara glances further in the living room and see a gentleman in a navy blue three pieces suit standing near one of the bookshelves. He’s taller than his wife, with distinguished features and metallic grey hair perfectly ordered atop his head. His eyes are of a grey-blue color Kara finds oddly comforting.
“Don’t stand in the way dear, do come in,” Katherine gestures for her to step in and Kara tries not to seethe that this stranger is inviting her in her own place. She grabs her bag and excuses herself to her bedroom.
She’s not used her own bedroom in months and it shows. Dust is gathering on her wardrobe, on her desk and on her bed night stands. It’s all too neat, too ordered for her taste. She searches for her phone in her bag and curses when she sees it’s out of power. She plugs it and unpack her stuff while it gathers enough battery to be launched again.
When it finally starts, it vibrates non-stop for about two minutes.
She has eight missed calls and twice as many texts, all from Cat.
“Uh oh,” Kara sighs.
She’s about to call Cat back when her phones goes off, Cat’s calling.
“Hi babe,” Kara greets, smiling from ear to ear.
“Kara, oh my gosh where have you been?” Cat’s panicked and short of breath. “I’ve been trying to call you for hours! Nevermind, whatever you do, don’t show up at the apartment tonight, my parents are in town and they didn’t announce themselves, as usual …”
Kara stays silent after that. She knows Cat’s still not out to her parents, they’ve talked about it and Kara knows Cat isn’t ready but after what happened with Lois, Kara was still expecting some kind of gesture. A step in the right direction. Something to hang onto. This, Cat lying to her about her parents dropping unannounced and asking her to hide until they’re gone, was not great.
The disappointment hurts, like a needle piercing her thick skin and reaching the sensitive part of her.
“You don’t say,” Kara retorts, a little coolly. “Your mother sounds lovely. I have yet to interact with your father though. What should I do, hide in the closet in my bedroom until they’re gone?”
There’s a pause on the other side of the line, before Cat speaks again. “You’re … home?”
Again, this isn’t the excited welcome Kara was expecting. Instead, Cat sounds terrified, slightly sick even.
“You know, sometimes I wonder … am I just a piece of furniture, to you? You sure as hell conveniently seems to forget that I live here, too,” Kara snaps, not handling her disappointment well. She looks at herself in the mirror of her bedroom.
She’s already dressed for it, casual jeans, a red hoodie beneath her leather jacket and she’s wearing her favorite pair of red converses to go with it.
“Nevermind Cat, I’m going to the bar. I wasn’t planning on working tonight but I guess it doesn’t matter anyway,” Kara says, shortly. “Don’t wait for me, I’ll crash at Winn’s tonight. Have fun with your parents.”
Kara hangs up and grabs her keys, her wallet and pushes them in her pocket with her phone. She gets her motorcycle helmet and a backpack she fills with whatever clothes will work as a pyjama, some toiletries and then heads out.
“I’m sorry Mrs and Mr Grant, but I’ve been called out to replace one of my coworkers, out sick. Since I figured you’d like to have some time with your daughter, I won’t intrude that way. Enjoy your dinner,” Kara waves at them and exits her place as fast as she can.
In her pocket, her phone keeps vibrating but she just ignores it.
—
“She’s calling me now, please do something,” Winn says, sounding slightly terrified.
His phone is lit up with Cat’s name above a wallpaper that says 'Breathe and pick up’. It usually makes Kara laugh, but not tonight.
“Nope,” Kara says, ignoring the call and going away to clear some tables and takes a few orders.
“Still no progress?” Alex asks from behind him, and Winn shakes his head.
“I think Cat royally screwed up this time,” Winn says, sadness echoing in his voice. He’s known the Danvers sisters for a long time now and he’s been in their life long enough to recognize when the situation’s really bad.
“I agree,” Alex sighs, worriedly looking at her sister across the bar. “She’s not calling me though, I must be her very last resort …”
“Cat’s terrified of you, so yeah I’m pretty sure you’ll be the very last person she calls,” Winn laughs but it’s hollow, it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“And yet …” Alex mumbles, raising her phone to show Cat’s name etched on it.
“Oh, whow,” Winn lets out a breath. “That bad …”
“Hi Cat,” Alex greets, placing her phone against her ear. She keeps her voice neutral and cool but her eyes are burning with anger.
Winn doesn’t hear what Cat says but the anger flaring up in the older Danvers eyes tells him it’s not good. It calms down pretty quickly though and Winn hears sobs, coming out of Alex’s phone.
“Cat … You did something terribly wrong, there’s no denying it. I know it, Kara knows it, you know it … What’s done is done,” Alex eventually speaks, voice low but clear. “What you can do is apologize. Make up for it. She’s not asking you to come out to your parents, she would never ask that of you. She simply doesn’t want to be or to feel like your dirty secret.”
Winn nods approvingly.
Cat speaks some more and Alex shakes her head.
“Give her some time to cool off, she’ll be back. Cat, I mean it. Do not try to push her, you’ll only manage to do more damage,” Alex warns. “I know my sister, she’s head over heels in love with you, she’ll come around.”
Cat must have asked for some reinsurance because Alex adds, fondly “She’s still your idiot, you know. Just, give her time, give her space.”
After that, Alex hangs up and Winn gives her a knowing look.
—
“Please, don’t leave me,” Cat asks the moment Kara steps back in the apartment, a week after Cat’s parents visit.
Kara’s thrown off by the unexpected greeting, by the vulnerability in her girlfriend’s voice, the red rimmed eyes and the way Cat fidgets with her hands.
She’s standing next to the usual bookshelves in the living room and Kara distractingly notices the picture of Lois & Cat is gone. Cat’s wearing one of Kara’s university sweater, a pale grey hoodie with NCU blazon plastered in blue across the front. It looks too big on her but somehow, it still suits her better than Kara.
“What? No, I’m not here to breakup with you!” Kara frowns, dropping her keys in the usual plate on the small table by the entrance. She hangs her leather jacket next to the door and then turns around to face her girlfriend, who seems at a loss as to what to do.
“Come on,” Kara opens her arms and steps forward, inviting Cat in the embrace. She doesn’t need to tell her twice, Cat all but hurls herself at Kara and holds onto her for dear life.
“I’m so sorry, Kara I’m so sorry, I made a mistake, or a few …” Cat sobs against Kara’s shoulder and Kara feels fingers twist into the red fabric of her hoodie, tangling in it really. “I didn’t know … I didn’t want to … I’m …”
“Cat, look at me,” Kara pulls back just enough so she could meet Cat’s eyes. The hazel is dimmed, reddish and it’s all puffy but Kara still finds that Cat is the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen. “I know, okay? I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I know you, and I believe you when you says you reacted poorly.”
Cat takes a deep breath and then shakes her head, hands still holding onto Kara’s hoodie.
“I never meant to make you feel like a dirty little secret, Kara,” Cat says, voice a little steadier. Kara doesn’t interrupt, her arms still wrapped around her girlfriend’s silhouette. “It was so very wrong and I am truly, really sorry about the way I treated you.”
“Thank you,” Kara nods, accepting the apology and acknowledging Cat’s efforts at offering one. “I know you panicked and you did tell me you’re not exactly good with feelings, I should have anticipated it. I’m sorry I ran away and gave you the cold shoulder for a while.”
“I hated it. Every second of it. I’ve missed you, Kara,” Cat whispers, resting her forehead against Kara’s collarbone and stepping in closer.
“I’ve missed you too, Cat. Just, don’t freak out on me the next time your parents are in town, okay?” Kara asks, lifting Cat’s chin and leaning in for a kiss.
It’s incredibly soft and tender, slightly hesitant too. It lasts for a little while but then Cat’s wrapping a hand around Kara’s neck and pulling her in closer, moaning into the kiss. The next thing Kara knows, they’re stumbling backward to Cat’s bedroom, clothes flying in every direction and greedy hands reaching for smooth skin. Cat’s whispering her name in a way that makes Kara’s knees go really weak but she still manages to sweep Cat off the ground, groaning at the way Cat’s thighs close around her waist.
“Bold move, my love,” Cat chuckles but her eyes are dark with lust and impatience and she leans forward to kiss Kara senseless.
“Hmf,” Kara’s replies gets muffled in the kiss and it’s not long before they’re finally falling into Cat’s bed, Kara’s hands already roaming Cat’s body, worshipping it really.
It’s been way too long since they hadn’t been intimate and there’s a certain tenderness into the way Kara takes her sweet time to kiss every inch of Cat’s skin, lingering on some soft spots and biting into some others, guiding Cat’s hands and murmuring words of love. Cat’s still clinging to her in a way that betrays her fears so Kara kisses her eyelashes and murmurs “I’m not going anywhere Cat. I’m yours, remember?” Cat looks at her with such awe and wonder in her eyes, Kara laughs and kisses her, loving her with everything she is, everything she has to offer, all the love she feels.
It’s very early in the morning when they finally fall asleep, tangled together in Cat’s bed.
—
“Cat? Cat sweetheart, are you in there?”
Kara jolts awake at the sound of Katherine Grant’s voice, coming from the living room. It takes a few seconds before the reality of that statement catch up with her brain.
“Cat! Cat wake up, your mother’s here,” Kara hisses, rolling around in the bed and missing the edge, falling on the ground with a loud thud and a swear word.
“Humpf,” Cat grumbles, grabbing a pillow and placing it over her head. Kara has never cursed the fact her girlfriend wasn’t a morning person so hard before. “Too early.”
“For fuck sake, Cat, wake up!” Kara groans as she rises up from the ground and looks around for something to throw on herself. She’s naked and if her memory serves her well, most of their clothes are still in the living room. She grabs a sweater that hangs from the side of Cat’s wardrobe and starts searching for some trousers or at least the very least, underwear.
“What are you doing up? Come back to bed,” Cat mumbles and Kara feels a hand run along her legs as she moves around the bed.
“Cat!” Kara grabs her girlfriend and gently shakes her awake. “Cat, your mother is here, in our living room, where we left all of our clothes last night …”
“My … mother?” Cat suddenly looks wide awake, if not a little pale and unsteady.
“Yes, your mother …” Kara nods, wincing as Katherine’s calling for Cat again. “Come on, get dressed and get out of the room, I’m going to hide in your bathroom.”
“No, don’t hide,” Cat states and Kara freezes, looking unsure. Cat moves to stand on her knees on the mattress and she reaches out for Kara’s face, pulling her down for a kiss. It’s slow and loving, sure too.
“Uh, Cat?” Kara asks, a little dazzled.
“No more hiding,” Cat murmurs again, a shy smile gracing her lips.
“Cat, I’m coming in,” Katherine announces and before Kara can hide or move, really, the bedroom door is thrown open and Cat’s mother’s standing in the door frame.
“There you are,” Katherine smiles. Her eyes linger on the scene in front of her but she doesn’t look in the least phased. “We brought breakfast, care to join us?”
Cat looks as dumbfounded as Kara feels and they exchange a confused look.
“What?” Katherine asks, frowning.
“You … You’re not mad?” Cat dares to ask, reaching for Kara’s hand and squeezing it. Kara returns the gesture and steps closer to her, protective.
“Mad? Why would I?” Katherine seems entirely too at ease and Kara feels really out of her depths here, but she doesn’t move.
“Uh …” Cat is at a loss for words, clearly.
“You mean, that you’re dating a woman? Please,” Katherine makes a dismissive hand gesture that seems to be destined to no one in particular. “You never fooled anyone, Cat. Your father and I have known since the day you came home babbling about this special friend of your, Olivia was it?”
“Olivia? But I was … in highschool,” Cat says, eyes wide.
“Well, yes, and?” Katherine frowns again, as if Cat’s addition wasn’t relevant in any way.
“I didn’t … I didn’t even … know, back then!” Cat protests, looking really confused.
“You didn’t, but we did. Now, put on some clothes and join us for breakfast,” Katherine orders and she turns her gaze to Kara. “For God’s sake, put on some pants Kara! Then you’re welcome to join us, I would love to know more about my daughter’s girlfriend.”
After that, she closes the door and the sound of her heels fades away back to the kitchen.
For a moment, neither Cat or Kara speak.
They’re too stunned to even think about anything to say.
“What did just happen?” Kara eventually wonders out loud, breaking the strange quiet of the room.
“I have … no idea,” Cat replies, shocked.
“I think … as far as a coming out goes … this one should wins some kind of award,” Kara eventually chuckles, shaking her head and resuming her search for something to wear.
“What are you doing?” Cat asks.
“Uh … finding something to wear?” Kara replies, opening Cat’s wardrobe. “Your mother all but ordered me to put on some pants …”
“I like you better without your pants on,” Cat muses, voice low and seductive. It sends a shiver down Kara’s spine.
“Oh no no no. Don’t give me that look, Cat. Your parents are literally in the next room and I’ve already went through enough embarrassing time with them to last a lifetime,” Kara shakes her head and steps away from the bed, out of Cat’s reach. “Come on, get up, get dressed. We’re having breakfast with your parents.”
“Here’s a sentence I never thought I would hear coming from my girlfriend,” Cat smiles, eyes alight with joy and happiness, love.
“Something tells me we should get used to it, too,” Kara smiles back and moves closer to kiss Cat. “I love you, Cat Grant.”
“I love you too, Kara Danvers,” Cat whispers against Kara’s lips. “My idiot.” THE END
#Supercat#Kara x Cat#Lucy x Alex#Sentences prompt#I can't believe it's so long#Seriously#I'm exhausted#Supercat AU#Kara x Cat AU#University AU#Roommates AU#OMG THEY WERE ROOMMATES#I seriously used a whole bunch of clichés in there#Also re-used some good stuff like Kara being a soccer player#rated E
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Self Control - Chapter 12
Summary: The end of the semester is upon you, but the drama is not done yet!
Pairing: Professor!Chris Evans X TA!Reader
Word Count: 3.5k+
Warnings: Language, uncomfortable feelings, and maybe some secondhand embarrassment.
A/N: Hi y’all! I’m back much sooner than intended, but you know, quarantine and social distancing dictate life now! There’s 1 chapter left in Self Control, and if you’re lucky, I might spring an epilogue on ya (we’ll see how the next month or so goes)! Thank you to @fangirlisms-22 for beta’ing my sudden writing binge. I tried to tag everyone, but some blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or won’t let me tag them. Let me know if you need me to change your url on my list. Here’s the Spotify playlist for the entire fic.
I love feedback, so send me your thoughts, feelings, wishes, etc!
Tags are still barely open for this story, so send me an ask here to be added to it or my permanent list!
Self Control | Masterlist
You had no idea how much two weeks could change your life.
You and Chris had barely spoken to one another, only given polite greetings when running into each other at the office. The rest of your communication was through email.
And Robert had sent the story you were working on from before break to a few of his friends and former students at literary magazines. The story you had started during break was becoming more of a means of therapy, a confessional of your relationship with Chris. And it was helping you process what happened.
It was the last day of classes, and the last day before semester papers were due. The assignment was for the students to choose their favorite story or writer of the semester and then to expand upon what they learned in that specific unit. Whatever specific story or person they chose, they were supposed to research who else has used it as inspiration for work since. It could be modern television or film, or another story or author that was influenced. And then they had to explain why they chose that subject. What made them interested enough to do further research upon it, and how it might affect their future consumption of art and literature.
It was a relatively open-ended subject and for the first time the whole semester, students were actually using your office hours.
And one student in particular who’d been giving you the cold shoulder turned up.
Tom.
He’s perched on the edge of the seat across from you, his laptop on the ground as his hands dig through articles he’d photocopied at the library. He’d chosen Keats as his essay topic, and knowing that you also held a soft spot for Keats, he wanted your opinion.
And the deadline was approaching dangerously quickly.
“So I covered all the adaptations and inspired works, and his legacy. And I wrote about how his work is going to change my perception of poetry moving forward. I just think I’m struggling with why Keats was my favorite unit this semester.”
“That’s okay, sometimes when you get so used to academic writing, it becomes hard to write about yourself, and your own feelings. But putting sources and quotes aside to examine your own mental processes is an important part of literature and writing.”
“Okay, I understand that. But I don’t think that my honest answer about why I took an interest in Keats is appropriate for this paper.”
“If you’re worried about Chris or I reading something personal, you don’t have to be. Anything you write will be private. We won’t say anything to anyone.”
Your mind wanders to what could make Tom so worried. Did it have to do with family or his childhood? Keats had a difficult and tragedy filled childhood. Did it have to do with Keats dying so young, or the discussion of his possible addiction to opium?
His eyes drop to the folder on his legs, his fingers picking at the edges of its pages. “Are you sure?” You nod but his nerves aren’t done. “My reasoning might not be very appropriate for an academic setting.”
“Tom,” you say, your eyes softening as you watch him. “Your reasoning doesn’t have to be an expansive philosophical or literary reason. It can be, but it can also just be as simple as you liked his poems. That you found his life tragic but fascinating. Or that the words and rhyme schemes were pretty or interesting.” His eyes meet yours, the edges of his mouth ticking up the slightest bit. “Don’t overthink it. Just be honest with yourself and the text.”
He nods, letting out a deep breath. “Okay, (Y/N). I will be honest. And I’m going to try to trust you and Prof. Evans.”
“Thank you.” You give him a short nod, showing your gratitude in a punctuated fashion. He watches you for another moment, his brown eyes searching for something. But then he gulps and stops. His fingers place his materials back in his bag.
You sit up in your chair a little, almost saddened that your time with him is up. It was nice speaking with someone who didn’t look at you with desperation (because of finals) or pity (because of Chris). Tom’s thoroughly preparedness had made this the most interesting and easy conversation in weeks.
He packs his bag quietly and you let him. He’s a student, no matter how much you appreciate this time with him, there are clear boundaries. You will not cross them. After everything, that’s something you’re damn sure of.
At your door he pauses and says thank you. You give him a small smile, “You’ve done well this semester. I look forward to reading your paper, Tom.”
He cracks a smile, and you notice the slight rosiness that colors his cheeks. He raps his knuckles against your door for the last time this semester, and then he goes.
A pang of guilt lands in your gut, but you don’t know what to do with it yet. His blush probably meant nothing, he was just flattered. But that guilt stays nestled there, a reminder of what has happened, and a warning about what’s to come.
_______________________________________________________________________
Finals pass without a hitch, for both you and your students. You’re able to read the final papers from your apartment, away from any pity or other heavy feelings. You and Chris had decided to randomly split up the workload so you could get through them quickly and give thorough feedback. But final grades are due on Tuesday and you plan on going into your office to enter them and pick up the last few things you’ll need for next semester.
You get to your office in the afternoon Monday, hoping to miss Chris who said he’d come in early if any students wanted to dispute any last grades with him.
You did not end up with Tom’s paper in your final stack, and you wonder what he ended up writing for the rest of it. You’ve been in your office for almost two hours when you decide you’ll let your nosiness win, and you find Tom’s submission online. As you're opening the file, a heavy knock echoes from your door.
He speaks before you get the chance to look up, “Uh (Y/N)?” The way he says your name reaches your skin, your pulse, well before you find the strength to see him. You close your eyes for a moment, letting out a shallow breath before you answer.
“What can I do for you, Chris?”
He’s still the Chris you first met, clean, crisp lines composing his appearance. The Chris he might have always been. Maybe you just got a private viewing of him, a show for only your eyes. Maybe your Chris was a piece that he never let out. Maybe just an alias. A way to distance his actions from who everyone thought he was.
There is no trace of your soft or rumpled time together.
His eyes catch yours, and there’s something there. A pain, a distance, a longing. But it goes away.
And then he’s stepping into your office, “I wanted to ask you something privately?” He closes the door behind himself, but remains standing.
Does he want to get back together? Is he going to divorce Jennifer? Is he ready to choose you?
With your mind running wild, you make a conscious effort to clasp your hands together and keep your face blank, eyes steady.
“What is it?”
“Have you read Tom’s final paper yet?”
All that hope, gone. A pang of annoyance settles in your core. And it’s accompanied by that hint of guilt.
“I have not. Since you graded it, I didn’t need to.”
“Well… I think you should.” There was something in his eyes again, a spark nearly indicating intensity or concern.
“Okay, um. I’ll take a look at it.” You do not tell him you already have it open. You skim the first page, finding nothing but brief analysis and lots of references. “So far, there’s nothing unusual here. It’s a solid paper.”
“Keep going.” The tension of him standing in your office, waiting for you to finish reading agitates your nerves. Your eyes flick to his, but there’s something else mixed in with his previous intensity. There’s an edge, a little too sharp to ignore.
You keep reading. The second page is finished, and it’s literally everything you two had already discussed. The third page is where things get interesting.
Tom wrote that he enjoyed the lyricism of Keats, but what really cemented the poet as his favorite was his TA.
You.
He wrote that since Keats was one of your favorites, he paid more attention to it. That he saw you view Keats’ work as beautiful, giving it a reverence that he argued Keats should even be honored to have. That he looked up to your opinion and your interests, and that’s how he fell in love with the poetry.
Heat spreads across your chest, your face. You’re honored, but also, this is not what you expected from Tom. You look down from his paper, trying to search your mind for any conversations you had with him that would indicate that he was paying too much attention to you. And unfortunately, it’s there. So is the guilt you felt the last time you saw him.
But you know nothing happened here. You would have never entertained anything more than your positions in this academic institution allowed.
“Seems like he really learned a lot from you this semester.” The edge is there, and this time you can identify it. Humor.
“What are you trying to say?” Your words come out more defensive than you intend.
“(Y/N). This kid has a crush on you. Hell, in his hormonal mind, maybe more. Did you know?”
You shake your head. “No. No, if he has a crush on me, that’s his business. I was nothing but kind and open to Tom, but I didn’t know about this.” Truly, you’re referring to the paper more than Tom’s supposed crush.
The humor leaves him. “Kind and open? Are those two things strictly professional?”
The warmth of your skin turns into something worse, anger. “They were. I would never cross that line with a student.”
His hands brace his body as he leans onto your desk. His face mere inches from yours. “But you’d cross it with me? Your colleague and your boss.”
His words hit you like a slap. You flinch in response. How dare he insinuate that you might be a problem here, a repeat offender of an inappropriate relationship.
You want to yell at him, to let your rage out. But instead, you put on your best passive aggressive smirk. You remind yourself of everything that’s happened. He doesn’t get to see you angry or upset anymore. He gets a civil, bare minimum now.
“I will repeat it. If Tom has a crush on me, that is his business. I know he dropped by my office hours pretty often this semester, but I figured my hours fit his schedule better. And no. I was not crossing any boundaries with him. I would not do that.”
He opens his mouth, his eyes clouding with a hint of regret.
“And I don’t know if you noticed, but I’ve been pretty occupied trying to hide a different relationship all semester. I didn’t have the time to consider Tom as anything but a student, when most of my time was occupied by someone else.”
The guilt you felt before dissipates, but Chris’ downturned lips and furrowed brow just indicates that it has found another home.
“I’m sorry (Y/N).” He sighs and pulls back from your desk. “I know. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Well, you can’t take it back.” Even though every ounce of you wishes he could. Hell, you wish you could take back this entire interaction. That he had never walked to your door. “So let’s just move on.”
“Okay. I can do that.”
Yeah, he’d been doing that without you for a while.
“I don’t know how you want to handle this situation though,” he adds, still standing over you. “If you want to talk to Robert or call Tom in to talk to-“
“Robert doesn’t need to be involved. Tom may have crossed a line into a personal territory, but he’s never acted upon his feelings. So there’s no need for administrative intervention.”
“Are you sure?”
“Chris,” you sigh. You know what you’re going to say next will hurt and may not be completely true, but you don’t need your professional reputation questioned again. “I already lied for your sake once this semester. You could return the favor by keeping this to yourself.”
“I don’t kn-”
“Don’t put a target on Tom’s back.” Your voice comes out strong, authoritatively. You’re settling this now. “I remember being his age and getting dumb crushes on TAs. It doesn’t mean anything, and it doesn’t need to be mentioned again.”
He freezes in front of you, fully taking you in. Maybe he only got little pieces of you this semester too. Maybe it was time you both saw each other for who you fully were.
“Okay.” He nods to himself, letting out a deep breath. “Okay.”
He stays stuck in that spot, accepting your argument.
“So, if that’s settled…” you begin. But his hands squeeze together and his eyes focus on the edge of your desk again. You watch him, wondering what would cause him to look as lost as he did the last time he had been in your office.
“I uh, I wanted to tell you something else.” His blue eyes are back on you, and there’s that twinkle again. Is it longing or pain? Just the fraying of his nerves? You don’t say anything, just let his gaze burn through you, waiting for him to work up the courage.
“I’ve been writing again.” Sebastian had told you he’d been writing when you two were together. You hoped selfishly that he’d stopped when he went back to Jennifer, but apparently not. “The novel I’m working on. It- it’s inspired by some of what happened this semester.”
So you weren’t the only one working through your feelings with writing. But your writing had been vague. It was different characters, different situations, just some of the same emotions and complications. What was he using from the last 4 months? You’d made it through your affair without ruining your career here. Hopefully, he wouldn’t blow your life up with some story about you two now.
When you don’t answer, he turns his back to you. His breath comes ragged, he’s worried. “I just thought you should know.”
“As long as you don’t use my name, or anything too specific, I guess that’s fine. I can’t stop you.”
He turns back quickly, his eyes wide. He must not have expected you to let this go so easily. But you can’t blame him for using the same coping mechanism as you are.
“I don’t even know if it’ll turn into anything important. I just didn’t want it to be a surprise if it did.”
“That’s fine.”
He leans onto your desk again, making sure his eyes are level with yours. They’re so earnest, it hurts. There’s a piece of him there that you used to see so often. That you used to think was yours.
But it had been three weeks. And it makes it a little worse knowing you might never see that sincerity again.
“I’ll make sure if it does go somewhere, that you get to see it first. I owe you that much.”
You nod, your eyes trained on him. He doesn’t look away.
The intensity between you two is still there, pulling you toward each other. But you said you were done with that. You couldn’t change his decision, and it seemed he hadn’t taken it back either.
His face moves to you, his mouth nearly on your own. You hadn’t been this close since before Thanksgiving break. You can feel his breath on your lips, it tickles your skin. The person you were before break would have used his mouth to relieve the itch. But that’s not who you are anymore.
You pull back from him, putting the necessary distance between you two. He stands up straight, his expression somewhere between confused and upset.
You tell yourself something very important in the moment: he doesn’t get to be upset that you’ve changed. And you don’t get to be upset anymore that he wouldn’t. All that is past you.
“Thank you, Chris.” You say loudly, but without malice. “If you have nothing else to add, I think we’re done here.”
“Of course,” he whispers. He closes his eyes, and the next time he opens them, all those previous emotions are gone. Like no part of the last several minutes happened. He leaves your office door open, just as it had been when he’d come in.
And as you look up, you notice two sets of eyes watching you from the hallway. It is Elizabeth, and her friend and fellow grad student, Letitia. They watch you with pity. You want to be done with that. You force a smile to them, and then close your office door.
_______________________________________________________________________
Two hours later, all the final grades are submitted, and your stomach aches for something to eat. After the day you’ve had, maybe you’ll pick up Italian on your way home. You deserve large amounts of wine and pasta.
As you’re walking on the path to the parking lot, the sun setting around you, you hear feet pound against the pavement behind you. Looking over your shoulder, you see Sebastian jogging toward you. ‘Hey (Y/N),” he calls out. You slow your pace so he can catch up.
He takes a moment to catch his breath, his hair is all messed up. The soft and fluffy look works for him. But then you chide yourself for noticing that.
Once he composes himself, there’s an apologetic smile smeared across it. “Look, I’m sorry about how I acted toward you at Thanksgiving. I didn’t know what was going on with you and Chris.”
If you’re done with the pity, you’re done with this too. “Don’t mention it, Seb.” He grins at you, his eyes crinkling as his apologetic face disappears. “Yeah, I’m trying out the nickname.”
“Good. But are you sure? I was absolutely a dumbass about you two this semester.”
“Sebastian. It’s over. I’m done with Chris. I’m walking into winter break ready to be done with this last semester. I’m ready for something new.” He watches you, his eyes wide. He must notice that you're serious because he settles into a nod.
“Okay. I’m right there with you. My semester has been messy too.”
You quirk a brow at him, wondering how messy his semester could have been compared to yours. What, was he living up to his reputation by sleeping with his TA too? Or did Chris say that to scare you away from him?
“Look, I’m going to tell you a secret, (Y/N). And when I meant messy, I meant messy.” You watch him as he looks around the campus to see if anyone is nearby. “I know Chris has already suspected part of it, but while he was with you, Jennifer was with me.”
Instinct takes over and you slap his arm.
“Hey, they were on a break. And she’d been flirting with me for a whole year!”
You want to be mad at him for him sleeping with his friend’s wife. He violated a serious code of friendship. But for some reason you can’t. And you’re feeling something dangerously close to relief.
You can’t stop yourself, you laugh, loudly. If anyone else had been around, their lives would have been interrupted by the sound.
“I can’t tell if you’re taking this well.”
You smile at him genuinely. “I am actually. And I feel almost sort of, relieved?”
“Oh, have my fuck ups made yours feel less bad?” You wouldn’t have called your relationship with Chris a full fuck up. You didn’t regret it like that. But Sebastian wasn’t wrong. You reach the parking lot where your cars are and he turns on his heels. He gives you a little bow, “I’m so happy my stupidity could be of service.”
You pull your keys out, ready to unlock your car. “Thank you for that, Sebastian.”
“By the way, keep working on that.” He leaves your side as he heads for his vehicle.
“Working on what?”
He unlocks his car from his key fob as he pivots. “My nickname. I want to make sure you have it down for next semester.”
“Is it really that important?”
He gives you the most devious smile you’ve ever seen from him. And from the time you’d spent together, he’d given you many. “It is to me. I prefer that all my TA’s are comfortable enough to treat me as a friend.”
Your jaw drops. You hadn’t heard who Robert was pairing you up with for next semester. You knew it wouldn’t be Chris, but you’d been hoping that he might give you a semester off of assisting.
This time his laugh rang out through the campus.
“Yes (Y/N). Take the break to recharge and prepare. We’re gonna have a hell of a time teaching creative writing next semester.”
_______________________________________________________________________
Tags: @irishdancr24 @lostboyinneverland @captainmarvels @suz-123 @funlizzie02-blog @void-imaginations @cryingovershipsthatneversailed @breezykpop @jcc04220 @nys30 @jonsnowisnotdeadthough @guera31 @wickedcitywitch @london-dreamer71 @patzammit @lilypalmer1987 @talannalew @thatonetuesdaywhensam @supperunnatural20 @evanstanfanatic @lucinapomona @r5rocks101 @dolphinpink310 @bojabee @zlixlle @smashley816 @stevieang @youtheheckisbucky @chrisbck @bit-of-a-timelord @sebastian-i-stan @thefridgeismybestie @ssweet-empowerment @sophiealiice @imaginesofdreams @anotherawkwardaustralian @lostxsea
#chris evans#professor chris evans#professor evans#chris evans fic#chris evans fanfic#chris evans fic series#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans series#chris evans angst#sebastian stan#tom holland#professor sebastian stan#chris evans x reader#chris evans x you#college au#captain america#chris evans fanfic series#steve rogers#frank adler#prof. chris evans
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Queen of Peace, Chapter 2
A manorian high school AU
Words: 1773
Warnings: Vague mentions of psychological abuse
AO3 Link: Click here
Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn't let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?
Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.
What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?
‘Cause I’m gonna be free and I’m gonna be fine
But maybe not tonight
-Florence + The Machine, Delilah
Manon stared into her history book as the desks around her slowly filled up with students.
People were talking about their summers. Parties and hook-ups and vacations and memories made with friends.
She couldn’t have cared less.
The classroom buzzed with excitement over a new semester, a new year. She couldn’t have cared less about that either.
Manon only wanted one thing: To stay focused on her grades, get into a good college and get out of this hellhole. Only the best will do. You don’t want to end up like your mother, do you?
Shaking off her grandmother’s words, she looked up just in time to see Elide Lochan enter the classroom. The girl was wearing a light blue dress, wavy, dark brown hair cascading down her back, and she was headed straight towards Manon. Fuck.
She had managed three years of high school without having to share a class with Elide, but apparently her luck had run out.
Lochan was a walking ray of sunshine. Always smiling, always talking, always caring. She had been Manon’s best friend once, but that was a whole other story.
«Is this seat taken?» Elide asked, still smiling. Manon looked around to see that all the other desks had already been filled up with students.
«I guess it isn’t,» she answered drily before diving back into her book, trying her very best to ignore the girl sitting down next to her.
Elide put down her backpack, taking out her books and placing them in front of her. «How was your summer?»
That girl will only slow you down, stopping you from reaching your goals.
Manon shrugged, not taking her eyes away from the textbook.
She will find new friends as soon as you start high school anyway.
Elide - clearly not taking the hint - spoke again: «I really miss you, Manon.» Her voice seemed hurt, but Manon was certain she could hear a sliver of hope as well.
«No, you don’t.» She still couldn’t look up, couldn’t see the crushing disappointment surely written all over Elide’s face now.
You need to stay focused. You need to study, and not spend your time giggling over make-up and boys.
The next time Elide spoke, Manon lifted her gaze in surprise, for her voice was not shaking, it was hard, almost cold, as she said: «You think you can push me away, but I don’t believe any of this stone cold act you’re putting on. I see you, Manon.»
«No, you don’t,» Manon replied quickly, voice emotionless.
Elide didn’t cower under her stare, didn’t look away. She looked angry, and just as she was about to speak again, the teacher walked in.
Manon turned to face the board, their teacher clapping his hands together before saying:
«Welcome back! Before we get started on today’s lesson, I just want to let you know that the places you have now will be your places for the rest of the semester.»
Fuck.
-
Dorian was walking down the hallway with Aelin, who was furiously ranting about some book she had just finished.
«-and then she went to find this creature so it could tell her how she could heal him, and it reveals that they’re fucking mates! It was insane! So she did the only sensible thing, she stormed off, leaving him, but a few days later he finds her and he tells her everything and she accepts the bond - and believe me, I was sobbing when I read that part - and then they have sex for like 20 pages or something, it was wild - there are other scenes like that too and I didn’t know so I was reading the first one in front of my mom, and she just goes: you okay there Aelin? You look a little warm. I shit you not, she actually said that as I was reading this super steamy scene - anyway, you think everything will be fine but on the last pages EVERYTHING goes to hell and then it just ends!»
Dorian failed to hide his grin as Aelin gestured wildly. She looked mad. «You done yet?»
Aelin gave him a sheepish smile as she said: «Yes, I’m done. I can’t wait for you to read this so we can discuss it together.»
«I’m gonna start it as soon as I have finished my current read, did I tell you about that?»
But Aelin wasn’t listening anymore, Dorian noticed. She had stopped, her smile gone as she was staring at something ahead of them.
Dorian followed Aelin’s gaze until his eyes landed on Manon Blackbeak, standing by her locker, listening to her cousin with a bored expression. She was one of the seniors - just like them - but Dorian had never actually spoken to her. They had never shared any classes, and she wasn’t someone you could just walk over to and start a conversation with.
No, Manon Blackbeak was untouchable.
As Dorian looked at her, he had to admit she was rather pretty. She had long, silky, white hair, full lips wearing a bright red lipstick and her light brown eyes looked like molten gold.
Stop staring, you creep, he scolded himself, shifting his attention to Aelin.
«You okay?» Dorian asked his friend.
Aelin finally seemed to come out of her trance. «Yeah, she just gives me the creeps,» she said, nodding her head towards Manon. «I had PE with her last year, and I swear to god, she has the emotional range of a teaspoon.»
He looked over at her, smirking. «Did you just quote Harry Potter? Nerd.»
She lightly punched his arm. «We both know I could recite the whole series from memory,» she replied, rolling her eyes at him. «Besides, you took that reference. Nerd,» Aelin mocked back, mimicking his voice and sticking her tongue out at him.
Dorian laughed before realizing they now stood outside the science classroom. «Shit! This is my stop. See you at lunch?»
Aelin gave him two thumbs up and a grin before disappearing into the crowd.
As he stepped into the classroom, his mind wandered back to silky, white hair and a pair of golden eyes. Aelin might believe her to be incapable of feeling, but the depth of those eyes told a different story. A story Dorian wanted to hear.
-
«-five, six, seven, eight. And one, two, three -.» The music came to a halt, Manon turning around to face the rest of her team.
«Why did we stop?» Vesta asked, panting slightly, always the first to speak.
Manon didn’t have the patience for this. Today had been stressful enough as it was. After having to spend an entire history lesson with Elide Lochan, her day had progressively gotten worse. It was only the first day of school, and she had already been assigned with two tests and a two-thousand word essay.
«You’re falling behind again, Sorrel,» Manon answered, annoyance clear in her voice.
The routine wasn’t that hard. As long as you focused on the music, it was easy to coordinate the moves.
She could see Asterin rolling her eyes as her cousin bit back: «It’s the first practice after summer vacation! We should start with something easier to get back into the rhythm.»
«You should be in ‘the rhythm’ already. Actually, you should have spent your summer getting better. All the progress we had before vacation is gone now. If we wanna beat Iskra and her team we need to step up.»
You need to be the very best. Always. I won’t accept any less.
Manon could see that Asterin was about to protest, but she beat her to it. «And need I remind you, Asterin, who’s captain of this team?»
She turned the music back on, her grandmother’s words still repeating in her mind.
«We’ll keep practicing this until you know it backwards.»
-
Dorian was lying in bed, looking at old photos, an episode of BuzzFeed Unsolved playing in the background.
He kept scrolling until he reached a photo of himself and Aelin grinning madly as they were riding a rollercoaster. He remembered Chaol chickening out at the last minute, how Aelin clutched his hand as they neared the top, himself puking into a trashcan as soon as they got off. It was taken years ago, but Dorian could still hear the children screaming in frightened delight, could still taste the cotton candy he had shared with his friends, could still smell the popcorn.
If he focused hard enough, he could still feel what it was like being a child. When you had nothing to worry about, because your dad was the strongest, bravest person in the world and your mom could fix every problem.
But it wasn’t like that anymore. They had grown up. Dorian had grown up, and along the way he had realized that his dad was a weak and pathetic coward and his mom could barely handle her own problems.
He looked back at the picture. It wasn’t just his family that had changed.
Dorian, Aelin, Chaol.
It had been the three of them for as long as he could remember. Dorian couldn’t even recall how they had met. Aelin and Chaol was a constant in his life. The one thing he could always rely on, no matter what.
All of that was changing now. He could feel it.
They would soon be scattered across the country for college, and Aelin was spending much more time with Rowan, now that he was her boyfriend.
That isn’t the only thing keeping you apart, a voice inside of him said.
It was also the matter of the secret he kept from them.
Dorian still hadn’t told them he was bisexual. His stomach grew heavy as he yet again reminded himself of the fact.
He didn’t know what he was so scared of. They would without a doubt support him - and he wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality, not in any way - but it was always a possibility, always a what if? And if he told his friends it would be out in the world, and Dorian would no longer have all the control.
The secret inside him kept tugging and tugging, fighting it’s way out, but something stopped it.
Dorian hated himself for not being able to just say it.
He was done letting this get in the way of his friendship.
This was the last year they all had together before going separate ways. He didn’t want to spend it pretending to be someone he was not.
He just had to find the courage first.
A/N: And we're getting started!
Thank you so much for reading this<3
Feel free to leave a comment letting me know what you think<3
Also, I will begin every chapter with a Florence + The Machine quote just because no one can stop me;)
Peace&Love
-Dawninlatin<3
#throne of glass#sarah j maas#manorian#manon x dorian#manorian fanfiction#manon blackbeak#dorian havilliard#throne of glass fanfiction#dawninlatin QoP
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“Déjà vu.” | Baekhyun (m) Teacher!AU |Chapter 6 (FINALE)
Title: Dèjá Vu.
Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst (maybe)
Warnings: Smut/Language
Word count: 2.3k
Summary: Your new obsession as of late has been masturbating sessions when your favorite cam boy is live-streaming . But too bad some nights you’ve got too much homework due from your Psychology teacher to watch your oh so hot cam boy.
deja vu masterlist
<<prev — end ]
Your classes become busy and you’re thrown into a pile of work. Work. Work. And more work. Baekhyun sighs on the couch as you type up an essay due at midnight.
“Shouldn’t you be grading papers?” You pinch his side playfully. He yelps and whines like a baby.
“I’m surprisingly not busy. I don’t know if i’ve finished my work load or the month is just going by in slow-mo.” Baekhyun chuckles rubbing your thigh. “I hope it is....Because I don’t want you to leave my class.” He pouts, his pink bottom lip on display.
Can he stop being cute.
You turn to him and see his pouty face, you grin grabbing his chin before bringing his face towards yours. You give him a peck, before going back in and lingering. Baekhyun leans closer and you pull back with a giggle.
Tease.
Baekhyun growls and smacks your thigh lightly. “Maybe I should fail you for teasing me all the time.”
You punch his arm out of the sheer thought of having to retake his class and sitting through hours of material. Your blood began to boil at the mention of the already very difficult class.
“I don’t think you’d be alive to teach that class if you did.” You slid your hand up his arm and rested it on his shoulder, giving it a very hard squeeze. He looked at your hand before looking back at you, swallowing thickly.
“Am I clear?”
“Y-yes ma’am.”
“That’s more like it.” You pinched his chin.
***
Baekhyun’s job got busier. Teaching at a college was surprisingly busy around the summer time. You rarely got to see him during the week, your promise to watch movies on Thursday’s being thrown out the window because Baekhyun would be out of town or too busy with classes.
You on the other hand were not so busy. Classes had ended for you, you’re second semester now over, Baekhyun’s class now over. You luckily passed.
Your spare time was spent waiting for Baekhyun to text you and keeping up with your small plant sanctuary. And of course working, you would think about what coffee Baekhyun was drinking if it wasn’t the store you worked at. He tried to check up on you once in a while, and sometimes even swing by the store to give you food and kisses, which you gladly accepted.
But being without Baekhyun for a month put a toll on your heart. You felt lonely without your favorite person by your side. You wanted to feel his presence, you both would FaceTime each other when Baekhyun was away. You could see how tired Baekhyun would be and would tell him to go to sleep. You both would sleep on the phone until morning.
You started going out more, well if going to Chanyeol’s club every Friday night counted. You basically tried to busy yourself while you had time off. Going out once in a while cleared your mind.
Your body swayed to the music, Chanyeol’s hand in yours as you both yelled with the music. Being best friends with the owner of a club gave you a say in what songs to play.
The lights flickered off the walls and the alcohol in your system made you blur the different colored lights into one. Your drunken buddy also prove to everyone in the club he was piss drunk as well. By falling over a stool and spilling his drink.
You helped the laughing giant up and luckily the mess was cleaned up before anyone else could slip. Chanyeol’s laughter was suddenly contagious and you ended up laughing at his drunk clumsy self.
You both ordered a round of shots.
“Yeol!” You slapped his arm as he took the shot from you.
“I think you’ve had enough, Y/n.” He slurred, his speech now gibberish.
You shook your head, you weren’t as drunk as him. Chanyeol kissed your cheek in an apology and you fake vomited.
Ten minutes and a couple more shots later you’re both back on the dance floor, a girl dancing between you both rather erotically.
You choose this moment to facetime Baekhyun. You smile evilly.
Baekhyun picks up after two rings.
“Hey-woah.” Baekhyun’s cut off by you showing the girl dancing on you. You laugh at his widened eyes and opened mouth.
“Baekhyun here’s your replacement.” You joke to him, bringing the phone up to your face.
Baekhyun laughs, “Y/n are you drunk?”
“Are you drunk?” You say back to him, your eyes squinting at the screen.
“No honey i’m completely sober.” His laugh makes another appearance and you laugh too. What’s funny?
“No i’m sober, you....you’re drunk!” Your mouth stumbles over the words. Baekhyun’s leaning his head on his hand, a small smile on his face.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah!”
“Ok, if you’re sober when’s your birthday?”
“May 6, 1992.” You shout.
“That’s my birthday....”
“Mine too!” You drop your phone by accident and you drop to your knees to see why Baekhyun is suddenly on the ground.
“Baekhyun why did you fall??”
Baekhyun laughs loudly, his laugh turns into a wheeze. His face reappears on the screen and you pick up the phone staring at his laughing figure.
“Why are you laughing Baekku?” You pout sadly.
“Oh Y/n, you’re so adorable.” He wipes a tear from his eyes, “Sweetie wheres Chanyeol, let me speak to him.”
You turn your head to the silver headed giant, you tap his shoulder and he turns to you confused.
“Oh Y/n!”
You push the phone into his face and Baekhyun sees his friend’s surprised expression.
“Baekku wants to talk.” You say cutely, Chanyeol coos at you before answering the phone.
“Hello Baekku.” Chanyeol slurs.
Baekhyun face palms, of course he’s drunk too. “Ok Chanyeol, listen to me.”
“Baekhyun why aren’t you here?” Chanyeol barks at the phone. “We’re having so much fun!”
“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun shouts, “I need you to take Y/n home, she’s too drunk. I don’t want anything to happen to her. Do you understand?”
Chanyeol stares at the phone for a second his slow brain turning the stuck gears. “Take Y/n home now? Ok got it!” His friend gives him a thumbs up and Baekhyun sighs.
“Ok thank you make sure she’s safe.”
***
“Agh! You’re so heavy now Y/n what do you eat nowadays?” Chanyeol complains as he carries you to your apartment door.
You pat his butt, your figure thrown over his shoulder. “I eat the same amount you do,” You hiccup “shut up!”
Chanyeol opens your door with a struggle but places you down in your bed successfully.
“Ok, Baekhyun we made it!”
“You didn’t have to have me on the phone for the whole trip there...” Baekhyun sighs, his eyes tired.
Chanyeol yawns, “My head hurts, Baekku.” He whines cutely.
You agree with a groan, wrapping yourself in your blanket.
Baekhyun gags at Chanyeol’s cute act but nonetheless helps. “Go into Y/n’s bathroom, there are pain pills on top of the cabinet.”
Chanyeol stands to travel to the bathroom and comes back with pills and a glass of water. He offers you some kindly, which you take.
“Y/n~” Baekhyun calls, You respond with a giggle before crawling over to your forgotten phone on your bed.
“Yes?”
“Tell Chanyeol to sleep on the couch give him a pillow and a blanket. I don’t trust him getting back to his house this late.” He instructs you, you salute.
Chanyeol’s wrapped in a blanket and his head is laying on your rilakkuma pillow. He looks like a baby.
“Mission is a success.” You say into the phone.
“You didn’t have to wrestle me on to the couch. I would have went willingly.” Chanyeol says from under the cover.
Baekhyun laughs, “You forced him under the cover?”
“Yes. He’s ready for bed now.”
“Okay, Y/n.”
“Yes?”
“It’s time for you to go to bed too.” Baekhyun says softly, his eyes peering down onto the screen.
“Okay...” You pout, “I miss you. Goodnight.”
“I miss you too. Goodnight, my baby.”
***
After the busiest month in the summer Baekhyun’s work load died down, you got to see him more and more till he had full days off and you were able to watch movies on Thursday again. You both became closer, really close, close enough to convince one another to move in with each other.
So you moved in with Baekhyun.
Living with Baekhyun has been, interesting. You found out more about him and his little knacks. You found out he has a Rilakkuma toothbrush, and you gushed over it for about three hours. You found out that his corgi pup actually can get along with cats. Which is a plus for your cat. You both think the move was worth it and you both feel like you know one another on a deeper level.
You love Baekhyun.
You can’t keep holding onto his secret anymore. You feel like you might accidentally slip up and mention it somehow and you don’t want him finding out in some weird way. But you don’t want to embarrass him either.
It’s been a while since Baekhyun has did a live, he hasn’t in about 6 months. His fans comment about his disappearance and think he just quit all together. Until one lonely night while Baekhyun’s out of town on a rare business trip, you get a notification.
B-Bear is now live. You audibly gasp, almost choking on your Cola.
“He’s what now?” You whisper yell. You click on the notification and it sends you straight to the website. You can see his hand in front of the camera before he adjusts the phone to be propped on something. You can see his body is covered in a glistening sheen. Your mouth waters, he’s wearing a black robe and it’s opened showing everything. His dick is definitely hard, his hand is moving up and down slowly over his length.
You can only see from his lips down but you imagine his eyes are closed.
“It’s been a while, huh?” Baekhyun says with a smile. You laugh at his casual tone, as if he’s talking to a friend.
“I actually have a lot going on in my life.” He breathes out, a sense of heaviness in his voice.
“My jobs been very busy, and my girlfriend just moved in with me.” He smiles at the end of his sentence, his head rolling to the side.
You smile hard.
“She’s been so great, helping me in anyway she possibly can. Giving me advice and encouraging me through everything. I just-“ He pauses before inhaling deeply. “I just like her so much. She makes me feel...whole.”
The chat on the live is blowing up with hearts and messages asking who his girlfriend is or asking where he’s been. You lay on your stomach as he continues to speak.
“Being in love has changed my outlook on the world and all it has to offer. My girlfriend....Y/n, she is what I see in this world. Her well being, her needs, her love. My sunshine on a rainy day,” He trails off, his hand moving so fast he grunts. “She’s so perfect, so gentle and kind, and so soft. I love her.”
Baekhyun’s breathes start to become heavier and you think it’s the right time to confess to him.
Despite him scrambling to find his phone when you ring him up, he answers your call fast. You giggle on the other side of the line, nervously playing with your blanket.
“I love you too.” You say.
Baekhyun’s head turns back to the camera and you believe he’s looking at the chat.
“W-what-“
“I’m watching, I am CupidBaby.”
“D-did you hear all of that?” He stutters profoundly, his jaw is hanging open now, he can’t move.
“Yes....I-I’ve been watching you for almost a year now. Before we even met.” You confess, even though he can’t see you, your cheeks are red and you’re scared of his response.
“I-Why didn’t you tell me? Why’d you keep it from me?” The end of Baekhyun’s lips turn up you watch as he takes a pillow and covers himself. “Gah! This is so embarrassing Y/n.”
You grin at his cute reaction, you can see he’s flustered even through the screen. “I’m sorry Baekhyun, I was too embarrassed to tell you. When I found out it was you we were at the museum. In the bathroom, I heard you.”
Baekhyun jumps up from his seat, pointing at the camera. “Yah! I knew I heard your voice.” Baekhyun ends the live quickly and he calls you to FaceTime.
You answer and smile at his blushing face. “I really can’t believe you, Y/n.” He says embarrassed.
“Hey...It’s not the worst thing you could be found out for.” You try to make him feel less embarrassed about the situation. You feel guilty but you can hear the playfulness in his tone.
There’s a long pause as you two just stare at each other, longingly.
“I meant it.” He states.
You furrow your brows, “What?”
“What I said, I meant it.”
“What did you say?”
“I love you.”
Your heart does a 360 spin, you swear in this moment Baekhyun is the most precious being on the planet. Nothing else matters but him right now, and all he has to offer.
“I meant it too, I love you Baekhyun. With all my heart.”
Baekhyun’s smile lights up the screen, his cheeks round and his eyes sparkling.
“Wow, i’m not even horny anymore. I was thinking about you earlier and I couldn’t resist coming back to do live again...But being caught like that really through me off.” He laughs loudly.
You giggle at his statement. Even in this moment he’s joking. “I miss you. I miss your jokes and your hugs.” You confess.
Baekhyun smiles again, teeth showing, he kisses the phone. “There, that should hold you off until tomorrow.”
You pretend to catch the kiss and place it on your lips. “I’ll savor it until you get here.” You smile at the man of your dreams.
“You better.” He chuckles, his eyes wandering around your face. “It’s late, sweetie. You should go to bed.”
“I don’t want to...but since you’re asking nicely. I guess I will give in.” You tease, “Goodnight, I love you.”
“I love you too, always. Goodnight.” Baekhyun replies a soft smile on his face before the screen goes black.
You smile to yourself, holding your phone to your chest.
Moments like these you cherish. Moments where you feel like you’ve known Baekhyun from a previous life. Like you’ve never been separated from one another. As if your love had been living before you found each other.
It almost gives you Déjà vu.
taglist: @deliciouslydisturbed365 @92byunie @thenamethatisgiven @lavellanfriendliness @amandoaexo
(Thank you so much for keeping up and reading this series, it’s come to a bittersweet ending, I am sad to see it go. But this was my very first series that has been completed so it will hold a special place in my heart. I thank everyone so much for supporting me with this story.)
#exo au#baekhyun au#au#baek au#exo baekhyun#baekhyun#byun baekhyun#exo byun#exo byun baekhyun#exo smut#exo fluff#exo fic#exo fanfic#exo fiction#exo fan fiction#exo writings#exo baek#baek#baekhyun smut#baek smut#byun baekhyun smut#exo baekhyun smut#exo baek smut#byun smut#exo byun smut#exo byun baek smut#exo baekhyun fluff#exo byun baekhyun fluff#exo byun fluff
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Art Class
Hello, here’s a lil fic based on this prompt!!
~
There were many things that Cyrus associated with TJ Kippen. Being loud, being athletic, and being the most unbearably gorgeous guy in their year. That’s why it was always somewhat of a shock walking into art and seeing him alone, completely caught up in his researching, or his essay-writing, or his painting. Their teacher absolutely adored him because of this, and Cyrus would always see him linger behind after class to have conversations with her.
Art was a subject he’d been forced into due to timetable clashes, so although Cyrus loved looking at art, especially Andi’s, he just didn’t seem to have an eye for it like his classmates did. In fact, he would usually spend a majority of the time talking to Buffy, who didn’t particularly like the subject either.
It was a pleasantly cool spring morning when Cyrus took his usual seat beside the girl, offering her a small smile as he did so.
“Good morning, everyone. Today we’re going to start a project that some of you may not necessarily like, but it has to be done as per the curriculum at least once during the semester. It’s a collaborative art piece.”
Cyrus and Buffy, in contrast the groans that filled the room, looked over at one another in excitement. If they paired up, then technically they’d have an excuse to talk during class.
“Of course, I’ll be assigning pairs based on varying factors, including whether or not I think two people can work together well.”
Their faces immediately fell.
“She could’ve just called us out directly,” Buffy mumbled darkly, which Cyrus couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh at.
“I’ll put the pairs up on the board, then you guys can arrange yourselves, hopefully without too much chaos.”
The collective sounds of chairs scraping and quiet murmuring filled the room as everyone packed up their things and sought out their partner. Cyrus stayed where he was for a few long moments, looking over at Buffy with a heavy sigh.
“Burdening someone else with my total lack of art skills is not what I was counting on today,” he told her, a grimace on his face.
Buffy gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder as she stood up. “We can make it through this. Who do you have, anyway?”
Cyrus looked up towards the board, almost afraid to see whatever name had been placed next to his on the spreadsheet. His eyes widened slightly, and as he opened his mouth to reply a voice had both of them turning around.
TJ was stood there, an easy smile on his lips as he addressed Cyrus.
“I think we’re partners.”
Buffy’s eyebrows shot up at that, and she whirled back around again to check. A small scoff escaped her as she turned back around.
“I guess I’ll leave you two to it, then,” she said, giving Cyrus one last pat on the shoulder before moving across the room in search of her partner.
Cyrus’ stomach was doing somersaults as he looked back at TJ, who had a vague expression of confusion clouding his face.
“Uh...are you okay?”
He snapped himself out of it, pushing any thoughts about how effortlessly TJ’s hair was swept up, or how nicely his basketball hoodie matched his eyes, or how charming his smile was, forcibly to the back of his mind.
“Yeah!” he responded after a moment’s delay, sitting down in his seat again. “I’m fine.”
TJ took the spot beside him, clearly amused, and the class fell silent as the teacher issued instructions about what they were to do that lesson. Gentle sunlight was streaming in through the windows, warming Cyrus’ desk, and he could feel drowsiness tugging at his eyelids by the time she was finished talking.
It was only when he heard shuffling and movement pick up around him that he managed to break himself out of his haziness and offer TJ a tired smile as the boy turned to him.
“Just so you know,” he began, pulling some supplies out from his pencil case, “I’m not great at art and it’d probably be wise to switch partners while you still can.”
TJ observed him intently for a moment, with an expression on his face that Cyrus couldn’t decipher.
He began to smile. “I keep hearing you say that about yourself, but then I look at some of your art that’s hung up on the wall and I can’t help but think you’re lying.”
Cyrus felt his face grow hot at that. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he told him, glancing over at his collage of space, “none of that is good in the slightest.”
“What would I have to do to make you realise that it is good?” TJ asked, leaning forward slightly.
There was a sparkle in his eyes now that almost made Cyrus want to look away with how ridiculously cute it made him look.
“Something drastic,” he replied, looking shyly down at his hands.
TJ considered this for a moment, before nodding. “Something drastic, huh?”
“That wasn’t a challenge,” Cyrus added hurriedly, “just so you know.”
He glanced up to find that TJ’s usual smirk had given way to something softer, almost like the grass dethawing outside, and Cyrus’ heart warmed at the sight.
“Okay, then. Let’s start planning! Have any ideas for a theme yet?”
“...A theme?”
TJ let out a huff as he playfully took Cyrus’ pencil away from him, writing something down on the paper they’d been given.
“Were you listening?”
“Not in the slightest,” he answered truthfully.
He glanced around at the other pairs around them, brainstorming away, and he couldn’t help but feel somewhat guilty. TJ didn’t seem to mind though, if the smile on his lips was any indicator.
“We have to select a theme for our piece, what elements we’re going to use, and what ideas we want to get across using our theme.”
Cyrus almost felt inclined to lean back in his chair with a dramatic groan as he always did when confronted with art theory, but he somehow managed to refrain and leaned forward on his elbows instead, trying to at least feign some semblance of art knowledge.
“Space?” he suggested, and TJ laughed.
“You really like space, don’t you?”
He shrugged, blushing slightly, and watched as the boy jotted it down.
“Dinosaurs? Social media?”
TJ raised a playful eyebrow. “Are you just listing things you like?”
“So what if I was?” he smiled, taking his pencil back to jot the words down.
“What about rain? Or rainbows?” said TJ, eyes flickering between Cyrus and the paper in front of them.
“I like that,” Cyrus nodded, writing them down.
By the time the bell sounded they’d settled on ‘rainbows’ as their theme and came up with a few of the elements they wanted to use in their piece. Cyrus eventually found himself relaxing as he spoke to TJ, who against all odds turned out to be one of the least judgemental people he could’ve been paired up with. He liked cracking jokes and making vine references, but he also seemed to have this guarded intelligence that would come out when he spoke about varying ideas he had about the elements they could use.
Cyrus, who usually would’ve recoiled at that sort of thing, found himself clinging onto to every word that left TJ’s lips. His head was rested on his hand as he watched the boy talk, resembling some love-sick puppy pining hopelessly after their crush. For a brief moment, he couldn’t help but think he was.
Buffy approached him as they filed out of the classroom, face lit up by an excited smile.
“I got Libby! She’s a straight-up art goddess. How was TJ?”
Cyrus blushed. “He wasn’t too bad.”
~
“So, dearest Cyrus, I gave it some thought and this was the most drastic thing I could come up with.”
Cyrus looked down at the paper that had been placed down in front of them, before turning his gaze to TJ. He was sitting down beside him now, with an adorably bright smile on his lips.
With a disbelieving huff, Cyrus turned the page and scanned over what was written on it.
“You did not do this,” he managed, stifling a giggle with his hand as he read.
In TJ’s neat cursive, the words ‘sign this if you think Cyrus’ art pieces are great’ were scrawled at the top, and below it was a large collection of signatures from people in their art class.
“Have you accepted that you’re wrong yet?” TJ grinned, eyes shining, and Cyrus just scoffed.
“How do I know you didn’t threaten any of these people?”
“Bold of you to assume I had the time or patience to do that.”
Cyrus’ expression softened ever so slightly, and he tipped his head to the side. “Okay fine, maybe I’ll accept that they’re okay. I still can’t believe you actually did this, but...thanks.”
TJ just waved him off. “It was nothing. Now - shall we continue planning?”
“We shall,” Cyrus confirmed, leaning forward towards the desk. He laughed slightly when he noticed the small chicken TJ had drawn in the corner of the page, with a speech bubble above it reading ‘i got my red dress on tonight.’
“Have we given this chicken a name yet?” he asked, and TJ immediately stopped writing.
“No,” he gasped out, “how could we possibly forget that? I vote Greg.”
“Generic, but I like it,” said Cyrus, as he grabbed a pen from his pencil case and began drawing another speech bubble.
TJ watched in amusement as he wrote ‘greg says: gay rights!’ and leaned over to begin colouring in some of the feathers.
Their arms brushed as he did so, and Cyrus tried desperately not to think about the nervousness that bubbled up inside of him at the contact.
“So...we’ve created a rainbow chicken who supports gay rights. Or is gay. Or both,” said Cyrus, as he admired their work.
TJ laughed and nodded, picking up his original pen. “He’s a king.”
“He is,” Cyrus agreed, “I think we should have him be our art piece.”
“Okay, that’s where I’ll have to draw the line,” TJ replied, smiling at Cyrus’ responding giggles.
With that, the pair began deciding the rest of their elements, with the occasional headcanons about Greg finding their way into the conversation.
~
It was another bright blue day on Thursday, with sunlight pouring into the art room that filled it with a gentle warmth. Cyrus felt a rare sense of excitement as he waltzed inside, seeking out TJ immediately and taking a seat beside the boy. He saw Buffy in the corner, chatting animatedly to Libby, and the sight brought a small smile to his face.
“How’s the greatest basketball player in the world doing after yesterday’s game?” he asked, smile widening when TJ just laughed.
“I’m not that gre-“
“Do I have to get a signed sheet from your teammates?” Cyrus warned, only half-seriously.
TJ rolled his eyes at that, but didn’t object further. He was still smiling as he pulled their page out and looked over at all of the things they’d brainstormed so far.
“This is our last planning session, so we should probably start visualising what our piece is gonna look like,” he said.
Cyrus nodded and tore out a separate piece of paper from his notebook. “I had a dream last night.”
TJ raised his eyebrows. “Was it about art?”
“It was about rainbows?” he offered, and TJ shrugged.
“Close enough. Hit me, then.”
“Okay! It was actually kind of dark, but oh well. I was being teleported to all these different landscapes, I’m talking cities, beaches, forests, cliff-faces, deserts, mountains, you name it. Everything was in full colour except I was always in black and white. I kept looking down at myself and getting really upset because I wanted to be in colour super badly for some reason. Don’t get a dream interpreter on that one. Anyway, there was this one scene with the northern lights where I looked up and began wishing that I wasn’t grey anymore. The tips of my fingers gained some colour, and I got so excited that I woke up.”
TJ looked at him for a moment after that, just blinking, before a smile began to spread across his face. “That’s our art piece!”
Now it was Cyrus’ turn to give him a blank look. “Pardon?”
“A greyscale person looking out at a rainbow scene! We could paint them looking out at a city where everyone is on their phones if we wanted to be super melodramatic about it.”
“I love being melodramatic about stuff!” Cyrus cheered, to which TJ laughed.
They both began sketching out a rough draft, arms brushing much like they had the previous day, and for some reason Cyrus couldn’t will down the blush on his face. TJ kept sending him all these furtive glances, and he was on the verge of shuffling away so that he wouldn’t be so distracted by them. He remained though, right until the bell sounded, and the boy gave him a smile as they began to pack up.
“I’m so glad you told me about that dream.”
“Me too.”
TJ got up from his chair, smile softening slightly. “I’ll see you next lesson, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he breathed out, much quieter than intended, as he watched the boy head towards the door.
He sent Buffy a glance, who was still packing up her things, before biting his lip and springing up from his chair, catching TJ as he began to weave his way through the crowds.
“TJ - wait!”
He immediately turned around, eyebrows drawn together in confusion as he approached the boy and pulled him gently to the side so as to avoid the rush.
“What’s up?”
“I, um...I...”
What was up? He knew deep down why he’d chased after the boy, but now that TJ was standing in front of him it was like his whole body had just decided to freeze. He opened his mouth to speak, before proceeding to close it again.
“Are you okay?” TJ asked gently.
Cyrus nodded. “Yeah, I'm fine! I was just, uh, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to...um...hang out sometime?”
TJ’s face brightened. “Like a date?”
“Oh! That’s not what I...I mean, yeah! A date would be great. If you want, obviously.”
The boy just smiled, taking out his phone. “We can text about plans later tonight.”
After exchanging numbers, he gave TJ a beaming smile. “I’ll message you later then!”
“I’ll be waiting,” he replied, voice soft in the most heart-melting way possible. Cyrus might’ve swooned a little.
As TJ walked towards his basketball friends, who all began shoving him playfully and asking him ‘who the hell that cute boy was,’ Buffy approached him from behind and came to a stop beside him.
“Something tells me that having TJ as a partner isn’t just ‘not that bad,’” she teased.
“Oh hush,” Cyrus told her, blushing crimson as they began to make their way to their lockers.
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kiss your fears goodbye | shawn mendes
university au, shawn x goth gf
this is the real sequel to mystery if there’s anything you want to happen in this series, let me know!
masterlist | series playlist
“I thought opening up was supposed to make you feel better,” I said to Callie. “Instead, I kinda wanna jump ship.”
Another week, another hour in my shrink’s office. The last major thing that happened in my life was telling Shawn about Luca, and I knew it was major because I felt very exposed after doing so. I felt completely naked whenever I was around Shawn, and I haven’t even been properly naked in front of him yet. So I did what I do best and kept a distance.
“Jump ship as in… what?” Callie asked.
“He knows too much,” I explained. “He knows things that I don’t like to talk about. I know that I made the choice to tell him these things, but I just… I have this urge to just get as far away from him as possible. But I also don’t want to do that.”
“Okay. Why don’t you want to?”
“Because he was really kind when I told him about Luca. And, Shawn and I took things to another level… I spent the night at his apartment. And he still liked me after. He makes me… not sad.”
“So you like him, but there’s a part of you that wants to run away. Like, a way to protect yourself from getting hurt. Has he done anything to make you think he’ll hurt you?”
The answer was no, a very fast no. But I still found myself thinking about it. There had to be something. He couldn’t be that good. Why would he be that good to me?
“Somehow I always end up getting hurt.” I shrugged. “I’m two and a half months into this thing. I went into it tiptoeing and watching him carefully. It’s like I’m waiting for something bad to happen. But for once, I want to enjoy this thing. I want to make it work, and I want to not feel paranoid about it.”
~
Have I mentioned that I kissed Shawn on the first date? Me, the girl who was healing and doing so by guarding herself. I just couldn’t resist, he’s too pretty and charming. You try having a conversation with Shawn Mendes and not get overwhelmed with the urge to punch him in the face! With your lips! On his! Softly… It was a moment of weakness in my book.
That weakness is what made Shawn believe that I was into what we had going on. He couldn’t read my generally expressionless and timid face, so I had to show him that I was into him somehow. Two months later, I told him about a minor trauma that skewed my view on romance and I haven’t seen him since. We still texted and Snapped, but I haven’t seen Shawn in person. Yes, it was on my doing. My excuse: a research paper for my stats class. That, and work. At least he was still calling me his girlfriend, right?
Right?
I really was holed up in my dorm, though. I had my laptop in front of me, and I was trying to salvage my failing stats grade. Honestly, I wasn’t worried about my relationship status today because I was worried about repeating a class that contributed to my anxiety and nightmares. I needed to pass this class. It wasn’t even the end of the semester, when everyone typically started to care about their grades. That’s how desperate I was.
Apparently, that wasn’t enough for Shawn to give me my space. He sent a text saying he was coming over after his final afternoon class. When I told him I was balls deep in a formal essay, he replied with, “it’s important.”
“Bitch! So are my grades!” I yelled at my phone.
“I’ll drink to that!” yelled Stella from her room. She didn’t even know the context, but her heart was always in the right place.
My essay progressed minimally by the time Shawn was knocking on the door. I pushed myself off the couch somewhat reluctantly, and answered to find him standing there with his backpack over his shoulder and his guitar case in hand.
“Hi,” I said, not exactly overjoyed to see him.
Shawn leaned in, kissed my cheek, and then let himself in. He looked around the dorm and then stopped in front of the couch. He saw my mess of notes, textbooks, and my laptop. Not only was it an academic mess, it was also several half empty water bottles and a half eaten cup of ramen.
“Oh. You were busy,” he said like he wasn’t expecting this.
My fried brain did not like hearing those words. “What, you thought I was lying?”
It didn’t faze him at all. “No. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t avoiding me.”
Well, someone didn’t come here to fuck around.
I looked at Shawn, now a little more than mildly annoyed, and then I went back to my spot on the couch. “Well, sorry I can’t be attached to your hip twenty-four/seven. I have other things to do besides walk in your shadow.”
“Alright, stop with the attitude.” Shawn set down his case and his backpack. “It’s just that you decided to spend the night at my place, and then you didn’t talk to me for a week. Then, you told me a little bit of your past relationship - again, you decided to do that - and I haven’t seen you since. I just wanna know what’s going on here. I don’t know what you want, or what’s inside of your head. I don’t know why you keep running.”
He really isn’t fucking around. He was way too observant of my bad relationship habits.
“I’m not running,” I said feebly, looking at my laptop screen even though I knew I couldn’t crap out another formal sentence if I tried.
“Look, I know you don’t trust people easily,” Shawn told me. “I know it’s hard for you to bring your walls down. I’ve been trying so damn hard to be the person you can let in. I’ve been doing everything I can to show you that I can be trusted.”
“I know…”
“Do you? Because everytime I think we’re moving forward, you take it back again. I know you’re scared, but it’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid.”
Suddenly, I wasn’t timid and soft spoken anymore. I looked at Shawn once again, my eyes practically daggers. I slowly stood up, my hands balled into fists. “I’m not scared.”
He gave me an incredulous look. “You’re not scared, eh?”
“If I was, I wouldn’t have said yes to being your girlfriend.”
He nodded, and then he rambled. “I wanna buy you flowers, and bring them to you when you’re at work. I wanna spend every night with you. I want to clear a drawer for you at my place. I wanna sing to you, I wanna write songs about you. I wanna introduce you to my friends. I want to meet your parents, I want you to meet my parents, and my sister.”
My stomach felt light and heavy at the same time. I had stepped back from Shawn, and he stepped forward, refusing to create distance between us. Yeah, fear struck in my chest, and for once it was impossible to keep off my face. My eyes went wide at all the mental images he provided for me. I just couldn’t fathom the idea that he wanted all those things.
“I want everything with you,” Shawn said gently, “and I’m not afraid to show it. You just have to let me.”
I folded my arms and averted my eyes. “I never said you couldn’t.”
“I’m worried that any sudden move will you make you leave. You’re a flight risk, honey.” His hands went on my shoulders. “Hey, look at me.”
You said you wanted this to work. You can’t be afraid to try.
I tore my eyes away from the beige dorm walls and planted them on Shawn’s light brown eyes. They were as gentle as his hold on me. I wanted to melt away under his gaze. He was really worried about this, about me.
“I’m not the guy who hurt you,” he said firmly, “whatever his name is. I would never do anything to hurt you. I just wanna make you happy.”
Logically, he’s right. He was not the one who did me wrong. I needed to leap into this. I couldn’t let this seemingly harmless, soft boy get away. I didn’t want him to get away, I just didn’t know how to say it without feeling like the dam in my head will burst.
“Be mine,” he softly coaxed. “Be mine…”
I nodded, letting myself lap up the sweet words. “I am.”
Yeah… that wasn’t enough. Another uneventful week went by, and it was Shawn’s last straw. We went out to see a movie as an attempt to diffuse the tension, and it required minimal communication. However, his breaking point happened when he was walking me across campus back to my dorm. He silently went to hold my hand, and I mindlessly deflected the gesture. That was when he had it.
“So you’re embarrassed to hold my hand now?” he asked defensively.
He had stopped in his tracks, in the middle of the walkway. Of course, this had to go down in front of many nosy onlookers. It made my face go hot, and I felt very attacked.
“No, I’m just-” I tried to say.
“I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.”
“Shawn!” I glanced at the surrounding students before stepping closer to him. “Can we do this somewhere else? Please?”
“We don’t have to.”
And he took off back towards his car. If I wasn’t being stared at by passing students, I would have stayed there, frozen by my dumbfoundedness. Instead, I went the other way, towards my dorm.
I never cried unless it was in front of my therapist. This wasn’t an exception, but I felt the sting in my throat as I speed walked through campus.
I knew Shawn had a reason to be upset. He just didn’t give me the chance to explain myself.
Here’s the thing: plenty of people on this campus and in the city knew Shawn Mendes. Plenty of people were attracted to him in one way or another, and why wouldn’t they be? He was a walking Photoshop edit with that face and those muscles. He was ridiculously talented, and kind to every person he came across. He had so many emotions, and he wasn’t afraid to feel them. He has so much love to give and spread. He could have anyone, literally anyone.
Why would someone like Shawn choose to publicly hold hands with someone like me? I walked around hoping to some higher entity that I won’t be looked at. I always looked like there was a storm cloud above my head. I look and act like someone died. I had walls up so high it put China to shame!
Oh yeah. I fucking cried. Fuck.
~
This better be the last time I do a walk of shame to Shawn’s apartment. As soon as I knocked on the door, I pulled my phone out and started to write out a text. I didn’t look up when Shawn answered.
I did not come here to fuck around.
“Can I come in?” I asked, chin up and looking him in the eyes. My text was sent.
Shawn had changed into his sweats and a white t-shirt in the two hours we were apart. Certainly wasn’t going anywhere, by the looks of it. He seemed a little reluctant, but he stepped aside.
I looked confident as I walked inside his living space. However, my limbs were shaky. Time to get to it.
“First of all,” I began, “I understand why you got upset today. But I did not appreciate you calling me out in the middle of campus. If you have a problem, just wait until we’re together in private, okay? No one needs to know our business.”
“Okay,” he said shortly. “Is that all you came here for?”
I took a deep breath, trying to relieve tension from my shoulders. “I’m sorry I didn’t hold your hand. I’m not very into PDA.”
“Okay.”
“But,” I continued, “with you… I can get into it.”
Shawn’s eyes lit up a little bit. “I mean… I won’t make out with you in public or anything… unless you want to.”
I chuckled. “We’ll start with hand holding. I’m not used to being with someone who actually likes me. That sounds bad, but it’s true.” I paused. “I know you haven’t done anything to hurt me. But my brain likes to work against me. A lot. It’s hard for me to trust you, but I wanna try because… because…”
“Because we can be extraordinary together, rather than ordinary apart.” Shawn smiled, stepping towards me.
I did the same thing. “That’s from Grey’s Anatomy.”
“Yeah.”
He held his hands out, but I stopped in my tracks. I really wanted to touch him, hold his hands and whatnot…
“One more thing,” I said as I held up my phone. “I texted my mom, and I told her about you - us. I was gonna wait til we hit four months, but you need to see that I am serious about this. So I texted her, and she’s gonna call me in like, five minutes. And, and you’re gonna hear me talk about you a lot, and-”
Shawn suddenly closed the gap between us. He cupped my face and pulled me in for a deep kiss. My arms found themselves on his waist, pulling him in just a bit closer. I went up on my toes when he pulled back, not ready to stop anytime soon. He smiled as his lips met mine again. It felt right.
Within a few minutes, my phone started buzzing. I pulled away from Shawn and looked at the glowing screen. Then, I looked up at him, cheeks flushed.
“You’re about to hear me gush about you,” I said.
His smile was absolutely radiant. “I can’t fucking wait.”
#shawn mendes#shawn mendes fanfic#shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes blurb#shawn mendes smut#shawn x goth gf#theres bits and pieces in here that can be their own chapters#if i feel motivated enough to write them lol#i also have 'the final chapter' finished but imma wait to post that#ill wait til i feel like i can end the series lol#anyway pls validate me
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Hold Your Breath (Stray Kids: Stalker AU) ➻ Chapter 3 (part 1)
....
Genre: Thriller, Angst, Gore, Mystery, Suspense
Characters: All of Stray Kids, reader, OCs.
Word Count: 1.2k
Warning: This story will contain elements of gore, on- and off-screen abuse, torture, mental illness, and stalking. It will feature themes that are not suitable for all ages, readers discretion is advised. Each chapter will have its own specific warning.
Sorry for the short post. I’ve managed to hit a very bad case of writer’s block, as well as other things, more on that below. (updates will now be once every two weeks)
Chapters: Premise | 01 Prologue | 02 Chapter one | 03 Chapter two | Chapter three (part 1) | Chapter three (part 2)
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She and Hyunjin ended up getting along really well in class, as they introduced themselves in the timeframe that the professor had given them. She learned that he had been here to earn himself a bachelor’s degree in literature, much like his parents wanted. He had been a pretty hardworking student and liked to participate in extra-curricular activities, although he didn’t really elaborate on which clubs he had joined since attending the university.
It had come to a surprise, then, that he knew who she was. It was kind of strange for her to introduce herself to someone who had already know of her—he did say that he knew of her and knew who she was, but never made an attempt to say anything to her, which, to her, was understandable. University could be somewhat of an intimidating place. And Hyunjin, who kept to himself during classes unless he was asked to participate in group work or class discussions, was naturally relatively inside his head.
He had a small circle of friends, she learned, of which he had dropped after coming to this university. He told her that he stayed in touch with most of them through social media and that he had missed them.
They didn’t manage to get too deep into their conversation, although he did tell her that he was in a few of her classes back in first and second year, and much of the reason of keeping to himself most of the time didn’t say anything to her, as they were practically strangers.
Professor Lee stopped the discussion then and then began his first lecture. Much of it had to do with what goals to set at the beginning of the semester, what they would be covering throughout the semester, as well as the many assignments they were expected to do and their due dates that accompanied these assignments. Much to her displeasure, every week, there would be a test that summarized the terms they learned the week before, just to keep them on their toes, apparently. This was probably the most for her, as her memorization skills weren’t the best…
…this would also mean that she would have to do a lot of reading. And note-taking. As much as she enjoyed reading, the mind-numbing technical terms might just defeat her.
However, the silver lining was that there would be some hands-on case studies and there might be field trips planned in the course, although the professor did not specifically say if they were definitely included. As for these field trips, they were still in the process of negotiating some plan, of which professor Lee did not specify.
They also had to write two essays throughout the semester. Great.
As the professor started lecturing, he covered what the meaning of crime was, what each term meant, and how it integrated into society on a very base level. As for the rest of the two-hour lecture, Professor Lee merely just taught through most of the time with interesting examples and various experiences that he had encountered. He made things interesting, and the majority of the class was completely engrossed. The mid-lecture break had gone by and soon, had buzzed by without much of a fuss.
“All right, remember, class, make sure to read up on chapter 2, pages 60 through to 90! You will be expected to go through it with your teaching assistant in your tutorial later,” Professor Lee said. “Feel free to visit during my office hours should you have any questions or problems regarding class! See you next week!”
She placed her notebook in her bag and looked over at Hyunjin, who looked rather pleased with the class. “Tutorial, huh?”
He nodded and leaned back against his chair. “Yeah, it should be exciting. At least the professor was interesting, hopefully, the teacher assistant will be just as interesting. When do you have yours?”
She pulled up her schedule, and scanned it, trying to figure out which day she had her tutorial. Turned out that she had her tutorial at 11:30 a.m. in two days with a person named F. Lee. And upon showing it to Hyunjin, she was surprised to learn that he also shared the same tutorial. It seemed like a pretty pleasant surprise, she thought. To be in the same class and tutorial—it was as though something was being conveyed to her through this strange arrangement. Or not. It just seemed like a pretty interesting coincidence.
But life didn’t have coincidences, did they?
Regardless, the two left the lecture room and went their separate ways after swapping numbers.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
She had never been so glad to be home. After that stalker fiasco earlier on in the day, she was ready to retire to bed. However, she cracked open the textbook she was required to read for the class and sat at her desk, trying to make some from sense from the lectures. She got a few paragraphs into the reading when her phone buzzed with a text message.
>> Hey I’ve got food Open up
OMG bless thank you <<
Jisung seemed to know exactly when was hungry because her stomach grumbled a bit. She went downstairs, and as soon as she got to the door, the doorbell rang, and she opened the door, letting her best friend in.
“You always come at the best time, ever,” she said, ushering him into the house. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. Seriously.”
He laughed. “That’s why I’m your best friend, right?”
The two of them ate and chatted about their day and by the time they finished their food, Jisung had gotten up to toss the containers into the recycling bin.
She stared at her phone for the time being and sighed. She should go back to reading, but she really didn’t want to do any reading that night. It seemed like a great time to just lay back and chill for a little longer until it was time for her to go to bed.
It was still relatively early in the evening—or late afternoon, and perhaps she could just put her feet up and catch up later on.
But then her mind wandered off to the letter she got—it was unsettling.
“Jisung?”
He made a noise of acknowledgment, while still staring at his phone.
“I got another letter.”
His fingers that were once tapping away, seemingly mid-text stopped. He placed his phone down and faced her. “What did it say?”
“It was...something like ‘a new semester will start new things’ or something...and then something about more gifts to come,” she recalled.
Something about Jisung’s expression worried her.
“Did you file the complaint to the school like I said?” He asked.
She shook her head, but then upon seeing his concerned expression deepen, she held up her hands and reassured him that she was going to file it in the upcoming days.
“I haven’t exactly had time, you know, I promise I will—I’ll even let you know! I promise!”
He sighed, and with a heavy tone, he said, “fine, as long as you know.”
She was about to say something when he leaned over and put his hand atop her head, almost in a maternal gesture.
“I’m just really worried about you, you know? These are just some precautions that you have to take, okay?”
She nodded. “Yeah, thank you, Jisung, you’re always looking out for me...”
He chuckled, “that’s what I’m here for, remember?”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Sorry about the lack of updates lately. I’ve managed to land myself in a really deep ditch called writer’s block, and it’s honestly really draining to write when my motivation is zero most of the time. Sorry, it’s been pretty hard most of the time, especially balancing both work and creative writing at the same time. I do writing for my day job too, and every day I’ve pretty much felt like I’ve exhausted most of my writing into work, and the creative juices are NOT flowing into what should belong to creative writing. Hashtag excuses lol.
However, I did find a good way to keep my motivation up—the story is planned out, I know what’s going to happen in the bigger picture, but the details aren’t exactly set. Sometimes if I see an opportunity to implement new ideas, I will, such as relationships between certain characters and their history and such. I do have several pages of notes of the character’s relationships and backstories.
I will be publishing their backstories starting with Hyunjin, and I think it will make for interesting future plot segments.
As well, I will be changing the updates to every two weeks until I can get out of this really bad writer’s block.
Whether or not people like to read it or not, I’ll just keep on writing anyway because I genuinely do love creative writing. As well, I have been planning this story for wayyyy too long and even though my execution of the story might be slow and not what my mind wants me to write, I think I want to continue regardless. I’m just really grateful for the readers that I do have, and appreciate the time you invest in my story. Please feel free to poke me/talk to me about the story and let me know what you think of it. I know I haven’t advanced enough into the story for people have a true understanding or grasp of it, but I will be publishing the character’s relationships with each other and how they’re all connected. Because they are.
If I have any jumping tense problem—I’m sorry, I do try my best to catch them while writing, and I will improve and do my best not to disappoint too much.
Thank you! c:
#stray kids#stray kids au#stray kids scenarios#yandere au#thriller#fanfiction#kpop scenarios#han jisung#original character#bang chan#kim woojin#kim Seungmin#jisung#ChangBin#seo changbin#Lee Minho#minho#Felix#lee felix#yang jeongin#suspense#might contain gore#stalker AU#alternate universe#kpop
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Nemesis // Soonwoo SVT
Summary: It was really laughable. The idea that Jeon Wonwoo had a nemesis. And yet there it was. The clear proof that all his life, like a nagging dull ache, Kwon Soonyoung had stepped all over his plans without ever really acknowledging him.
And maybe it was wrong for Wonwoo to seek him out but all he wanted was answers at first. He had never imagined they would stand opposite each other, fingers on triggers, his death in his nemesis’s hands and vice-versa.
Author: qvestchen
Status: Ongoing
Chapters: Home, Previous, Next.
Nemesis // Soonwoo SVT
Chapter 2: But he is cursed
Soonyoung was laughing, totally immersed in a joke that his friend, Junhui, was narrating when Jihoon scoffed loudly.
“Have you two even signed up for your electives yet?”
Soonyoung and Jun stopped laughing and threw him a dark look.
“Jihoon, loosen up when you’re at the drama club,” Soonyoung said, whining slightly. “We still have till tomorrow to decide.”
Jun nodded. “A decision made at the last minute is the best.”
Seungcheol who was lazily watching the three of them while going over Jihoon’s new music with Joshua grinned at Joshua and Jihoon. “Should I break it to them?”
Jihoon smiled. “Let me do the honours this time.” He straightened up from his position on the floor and cleared his throat. “Today’s the last date for applying for electives. Good luck getting any because I’m pretty sure all of the courses are filled up by now. The good ones, anyway.”
Soonyoung frowned, still disbelieving, reaching for his phone to check the date. “You’ve probably mixed up your da—oh shit, Jun, we got to rush. It’s today!”
The two of them scrambled up quickly jumping down from the cool stage, looking for their bags.
“Joshua, what happens if two fools don’t choose their electives?” Seungcheol asked, laughing fondly at his friends.
Joshua pretended to think. “Apart from the immediate embarrassment? I would say, failing the semester, seeing everyone else pass and ooh, or worse, expulsion?”
They laughed as Jun flipped them off.
Jihoon got up too. “I’m going to the studio—”
“You mean your dorm room,” Seungcheol corrected.
“What’s in a name?” Jihoon said, gathering his things. “Got to go, folks. Inspiration calls. Wait up, you two. I’m coming up.”
“I’m planning to go to the cafeteria too,” Joshua said. “I’ll grab a sandwich and finish my essay.”
Soonyoung, who was waiting for Jun at the door, said. “I don’t understand how you like the cafeteria food so much. Especially when now we have Jeonghan’s cooking to sample.”
Joshua visibly stiffened. “I’ll see you later.” He left without looking at Soonyoung.
“What’s up with him?” Soonyoung asked Seungcheol as they locked the drama club.
“He doesn’t like the new club member.”
“Jeonghan? He has barely known him for a couple of days. How serious can it be?” He said, looking at Joshua’s retreating figure.
Seungcheol shrugged. “I have no idea. He’s usually very welcoming to the new members.”
Jihoon said, “He’s probably just worried about his essay. He’s been writing it in the cafeteria since the start of semester.”
Jun cut across. “You’re all wrong. It’s the sexual tension.”
“O-kay, that’s our cue to leave,” Soonyoung said, dragging Jun to the Language and Literature block.
There was a huge line of students at the Chinese department so Jun suggested that Soonyoung should go ahead. “Unless you want to take the class with me which would be amazing, to be honest.”
“You’re Chinese. You’re going to ace it but it’s a bit too heavy an elective for me. Intro to Persian is famous for being a light elective. Let me just rush and sign up for it and come back for you.”
Soonyoung walked outside the department room and was immediately hit by the sound of students loudly discussing plans but the noise died out as he left the English and Chinese language departments behind and climbed upstairs to the quiet, dusty corridor which housed the small, air-conditioned room that worked as the reception of the Persian department. He knocked at the glass door and waited before poking his head inside. “May I come in?”
The man at the small reception desk looked up from the computer screen with intense dislike at having been disturbed from his solitary afternoon ruminations. “Since you’re here, you might as well.”
Soonyoung walked inside quietly, smiling a bit awkwardly. “I could come back later if you’re busy.”
Truth be told, the great ‘angel’ of the drama club who was famous for being loud, boisterous and confident, the friendly Soonyoung was, outside his drama club and otherwise small group of friends, a shy, polite person especially in front of people he didn’t know. Right now, he was a stark contrast to his popular image (Jihoon often joked “it is the Gemini in him”) but the fact was that he was all of this together, a complex person, a bit forgetful at times but an easily endearing person, the kind who made people feel at ease.
The man at the desk seemed to consider his words. “How can I help you today?”
Soonyoung smiled warmly. “I came to sign up for the ‘Introduction to Persian Language and Culture’ course. Wait I have my ID copy and registration form somewhere here.” He rummaged in his backpack, apologetically. “Ah, here it is.”
He was handed a sheet. “You’re lucky. We just had one spot left. Fill in your details, name, course, email and so on and sign here.”
“Oh wow,” Soonyoung said, writing down his name, “I am so grate—” His phone rang, a hip-hop number filling the small room. His eyes widened and he apologized, looking at his phone. It was Joshua probably calling to tell him that the cafeteria had some semi-edible delicacy. He silenced his phone, filling in the details and signing with a flourish, before picking up the phone. He nodded to receptionist. “Thank you for everything. I’m looking forward to the classes.” He winced as he heard Joshua nearly screaming out of his phone. “Hello, Joshua. You sound excited. What’s up? Yes, I just finished signing up for the Persian elective. No, no, I don’t want to change. I would love to study English but I would probably fail, see everyone else pass and ooh, or worse, get expelled?” He laughed his characteristic loud, happy laugh, swinging outside the door, not even realising that someone was standing right outside. If he had realized that he had nearly crashed the door into a very annoyed student he would have no doubt stopped and apologized profusely but as it was, he was totally immersed in the call with a frantic Joshua who, unsuccessfully, wanted him to change his elective for some inexplicable reason.
After Joshua mysteriously said a sudden goodbye, Soonyoung reunited with Jun in the Chinese department who was still standing in the queue. “You won’t believe it but I made it just in time.”
Jun said, “I hope I get lucky too. There’s so many people that I’m worried the course will get filled by the time my chance comes.”
As they waited, Soonyoung wondered aloud about Joshua’s strange call and recent behaviour in general. “I hope he’s okay.”
Jun assumed a saint-like expression. “I’m telling you it’s Jeonghan. I think Joshua is experiencing a crush for the first time ever.”
Joshua was, in fact, experiencing something totally different. After having reached the cafeteria and spotting Seokmin and Hansol, he had placed himself within earshot at a table nearby, pretending to work on his essay. He hadn’t expected to hear much but instead he got to know that Wonwoo had decided to take Persian.
He had been unable to stop himself from exclaiming in pure shock. “What!?” No, no, that could not happen. He could not allow that to happen. Soonyoung and Wonwoo could not be allowed to cross paths. As if on cue, the bracelet around his wrist heated up, the runes no doubt signalling impending disaster. He gathered his things into his backpack and between rushing to get up and calling Soonyoung simultaneously, he tripped and fell.
The loud exclamation and following fall alerted Seokmin and Hansol to him and Seokmin even began to reiterate the information but he was already rushing out of the cafeteria, nearly shouting in his phone.
He was crossing the threshold of the cafeteria when something in the corner of his vision seemed to slow down time.
A flash of blonde hair.
Yoon Jeonghan.
Maybe time did slow down because it must have been fraction of a second but Joshua could feel his heart drop as Jeonghan returned his gaze, a taunting smile foretelling his failure to stop things from happening. Still smiling, Jeonghan tilted his head in a greeting and then, time sped up again and turning back, Soonyoung’s voice sounding through his phone, Joshua’s heart dropped as he noticed Jeonghan walking to Seokmin and Hansol’s table.
He had been right. The Warlock was here to stay.
The scene vanished as he tumbled suddenly into a quiet classroom instead of walking out of the cafeteria. “Uh, Soonyoung,” he continued to speak in his phone, “please, don’t take the elective. How about you take English with me? Or, I don’t know, Geography, I’ve heard they still have seats.” But Soonyoung had already cut the line.
He jiggled his bracelet which was warning him of unauthorised magic use but at the same time burning with an urgency that he knew well to read. Soonyoung and Wonwoo were going to cross paths and here, his teleportation magic was shortcircuiting as usual. He groaned aloud. “I’m doing it for them. I’m not using magic for myself.”
He let out a breath, trying to calm himself down. Okay, one more try. He walked to the classroom door and turned the handle, closing his eyes as he walked out.
The air shifted around him and suddenly, he could smell old paper and musty air-conditioning. He sighed in relief on opening his eyes and found himself in the Persian department.
The man at the desk made an irritated noise at seeing him. “The course is closed.”
Joshua walked up to him with a small smile. “You are sleeping right now. I am a figment of your imagination. How about you move on to another dream?” He clenched his fist as his bracelet shuddered with the magic use. He wondered if it would work. Even if it did, it would only work for mere seconds. His magic was limited by the bracelet, taking a physical toll on him to work. Suddenly, a thought of Jeonghan crossed his mind. That one did not have a bracelet. He must be immensely powerful. Immediately, he shook his head. But he is cursed.
His magic seemed to be working for the receptionist eyes glazed slightly, eyelids drooping and his head lolled to the side as slight snores filled the air.
Joshua got to work. He crossed off Soonyoung’s name and details from the list, not even needing to check the list above the last name. Opening the folder beside it, he took out Soonyoung’s ID copy and registration form, stuffing them in his pocket. It took him less than five seconds and the receptionist had already begun to show signs of waking up. He walked to the door, turning one last time to mumble an apology and then, he was walking out.
The air shifted and he was wrinkling his nose, knowing already that his teleportation had messed up again. He was in the washroom beside the cafeteria. Not as offtrack as it could have been though, he reasoned, checking the runes on his bracelet. It was cool again, no warning signs. Disaster had been averted. Soonyoung and Wonwoo had been steered clear of each other.
He noticed that his hands were shaking and pursed his lips before walking out of the cubicle. He caught his reflection in the mirror. His face was ashen. The magic always took a toll, even if he used it for the right purposes. He washed his face and patted it dry with a tissue before walking out confidently.
If anyone had seen him walk out, they wouldn’t have thought him any different from any other student. That gave him comfort and he had even begun to smile a bit, feeling happy with his quick thinking when he walked into the cafeteria. His smile dropped as he found himself under the attention of everyone at the table he had earlier been eavesdropping on. He felt like he was suffocating as he saw Jeonghan sitting alongside Wonwoo.
He knew already that his efforts today were only temporary. Now that Soonyoung and Wonwoo’s lives had a thin common factor—Jeonghan. The warlock seemed to sense his thoughts and raised an eyebrow in challenge.
Jisoo, won’t you come meet my new friends?
His eyes bulged as he recognized the smooth, taunting voice in his head. Jeonghan knew his name. How did he know it? What else did he know?
Get out of my head, Jeonghan. He turned around and walked out of the place, finding himself inadvertently walking into the Chinese department where Soonyoung and Jun were still waiting for Jun’s turn at the registration.
“Joshua? What are you doing here?” Soonyoung asked, brightly.
He looks so happy, he thought, he doesn’t know what I’ve done. He wanted to say sorry for denying his friend his chosen elective. Maybe he could sign him up here. He opened his mouth to suggest it in some subtle way but no sound came out.
Jun clapped. “You’re joining this elective too? What made you change your mind?”
Joshua wanted to say something but his mouth had gone dry and even as he walked to his friends, his body was leaden. He could see their expression drop right before the world spotted and darkened.
The last thing he heard was Jun screaming.
It was, in fact, Soonyoung screaming. Together the two of them managed to haul him to the medic’s room in the building while a teacher rang up the campus hospital.
“Is he okay?” Soonyoung asked the nurse, his face stained with tears, after they had settled Joshua down a bit. It had only been minutes but Jun and him had panicked and called everyone. They were all on the way, including Jeonghan who had called Soonyoung and caught him crying.
The nurse smiled warmly at the two of them. “It’s exhaustion and probably stress but he’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
“Are you sure?” he asked again. He looked at his friend who was now on the hospital bed. He looked tired, slight dark circles beneath his eyes and pale, blotchy skin.
“Maybe we should call his parents?” Jun said, worriedly.
They looked at each other, suddenly realizing they had no idea how to contact Joshua’s parents.
Soonyoung picked up Joshua’s jacket. “It will be on his phone.” He unlocked the phone easily, priding himself at knowing the passcode, but frowned when he looked at the contacts. He just had four numbers saved. Soonyoung, Seungcheol, Jihoon and Junhui.
Jun who was beside him looked surprised too.
“Well?” the nurse asked.
Soonyoung kept the phone back. “You could say we are his family. I’ll stay with him here tonight.”
“Okay, how about you get these medicines from the prescription here and get him and yourself a change of clothes and toiletries?” the nurse said.
Soonyoung was reluctant to leave but Jun nodded.
“Go. I won’t leave. Don’t worry.”
And so he was walking out of the hospital when someone’s heavy backpack knocked into his chest. He lost balance and grabbed at air, eyes widening as he realized that he was heading straight for the open window.
A hand caught his t-shirt and pulled him back.
“Watch where you’re going, will you?” Seungcheol said, steadying him. “If you fell from here, you would probably die.” He pulled shut the window pane, securing it firmly, after glaring in the direction of the person who had collided with Soonyoung. “I’m going to complain to the admin about these windows here.”
“It’s okay,” Soonyoung said, rubbing his chest. “I wasn’t seeing where I was going. You go ahead. I’ll just get these medicines and—”
“Jihoon is getting nightwear and other stuff so don’t worry. Should I get the medicines?” Seungcheol asked.
“Thank God for Jihoon. I’ll get the medicines though. You go ahead.”
When Soonyoung returned, he found his friends waiting outside the room. “What happened?”
“He’s sleeping right now so that’s fine,” Jun said.
Jihoon looked furious. “The nurse kicked us out because we were crowding the place.”
“We aren’t even that many,” Soonyoung said.
“Jeonghan dropped in with a friend. Remember the idiot who nearly killed you near the window here. That’s his friend, Jeon Wonwoo. I nearly told him off. Anyway, I politely thanked them but knowing Joshua wouldn’t be happy to see Jeonghan when he woke up, I somehow managed to get rid of them for now.”
The packet of medicines slipped from Soonyoung’s fingers.
Jeon Wonwoo?
“D-Did you say Jeon Wonwoo?” No, what he wanted to ask was, he is real?
He felt sick. The name was echoing in his head like a ghost haunting his veins. Wonwoo. Wonwoo. Wonwoo. The spectre which followed him only to disappear. Soonyoung had thought he had got over him. He had spent a good part of his high school life chasing after this name. Only to find nothing. He had sworn himself to let go, to forget, convinced himself that there was no such person, that everything that happened, every little incident, every whisper, was nothing, had told himself to stop looking for that glint of spectacles, that soft head of dark hair, that once-heard deep voice, because they were all red herrings.
“Yes, do you know him? He was kind of weird. I mean, he said he saw Joshua at the cafeteria when he was with you guys.”
And yet there it was. The name and the person.
He dialled Jeonghan’s number hurriedly. “Hey, is—is someone…this is going to sound weird but do you know…do you have a friend named Wonwoo?”
hello, hope you enjoyed the new chapter!
lots of things happened, we got to see a bit more about soonwoo's relationship of sorts, more about joshua (and his powers and limits) and jeonghan, and we met soonyoung's friends! what did you think of the chapter? are you ready for soonwoo to meet next chapter?
side note: "Introduction to Persian Language and Culture" is an elective course i took in uni. this is a little bit of a background story for this fic but in our uni this course was immensely popular among the students because it was supposed to be easy to score marks in. and it turned out to be true lol because of the structure of the course (rather than the content or anything else) and the fact that we only did basic language in the course. i actually enjoyed the course and loved learning the language and about the culture. persian is a beautiful language. unfortunately, my classmates and i, did not, even after a year of the course, become fluent. idk i thought this would explain this bit of the fic and some of the references that i'm using. most of the uni scenes in this fic are going to be typical uni student lives but with seventeen.
thank you for supporting <3 love, positive vibes and great friendships!
#soonwoo#seventeen au#seventeen fic#svt hoshi#wonwoo#seventeen#soonyoung#jihan#jihoon#junhui#joshua#jeonghan#seokmin#mingyu#vernon#svt chan#seungkwan#scoups#minghao
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Andante, Adante
↳ header is made by yours truly. I do not own the rights to the image used.
➳ Pairing: Kim Junmyeon x Reader (female OC)
➳ Genre(s): College!AU, Professor!AU, Romance, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, & Slight-Angst
➳ Words: 3.5K
➳ Summary: After witnessing your friends become broken hearted over and over, you have vowed to never fall in love. You even develop this tower around your heart in order to protect it. So, what happens when a certain new department chair comes into the picture? Will he successfully tear it down or will he just further prove your worries right?
The faint crackle from a record player slowly enters your ears. This warm, comforting feeling invades your heart as a familiar instrumental begins to sound. The signature sound of your favorite music group, ABBA, fills your office while you dig out a vanilla colored folder from your bag.
You didn’t have any class sessions scheduled until the afternoon, so you have a decent size break. A break that is needed since you’re quite behind on grading your students’ papers.
Why did you assign a ten-page research assignment again? Oh…that’s right…there’s this weird university requirement where the students must write at least two thousand words for the class before the semester is over—and apparently creative writing assignments do not count towards the requirement.
A faint scoff exits your lips as you shake your head, quietly mocking the stupid university requirement. You then reach for one of the many red pens that are bundled together in a mug. You pull off the cap and then put it on the end of the pen.
“Alright…time to get to work…”
You reach for the first of many assignments and start grading…
Or so you’ve hoped…
Not even done with the second submitted assignment, your office door swings open but immediately slams shut. Then, heavy pants combine with the voices of ABBA, creating this sense of alertness within you. However, you remain focus on your goal. The goal of grading at least half of your students’ assignments.
“Isn’t it a bit early for the theatrics, Sumin?” You question with little to no emotion, skimming the contents of the third turned-in assignment.
Soon, a soft yet impactful whine flows through your ears. Oh, goodie… you triggered her.
The younger woman pushes herself away from the door but not before locking it, praying that her loving yet extremely annoying fiancé hasn’t figured out that she’s hiding out in her big “sister’s” office.
She then maneuvers through the semi-mess that is your office and plops her cute little behind on the chair in front of your mahogany wood desk.
A faint amuse smile paints your lips as you peek up from the fifth submitted assignment that’s currently in your hands.
“I’ll ask again, isn’t a bit early for the theatrics, little sis?” You ask again, waiting for her answer.
Sumin frowns and then cocks her head back; her eyes now glued onto the ceiling.
“Why did I agree to marry him again?” She replies in a questioning tone of voice.
Okay…
That’s not the response you’re looking for.
“Maybe because you love him and see yourself spending the rest of your life with him?”
“Ugh…why did it have to be me?”
Your mind registers her question; a chuckle begins to brew within your chest. How fitting that she says that just as the song, that is titled with that question, begins to play. Who would’ve thought that a song which starts off so lively is actually about self-doubt and essentially one-night stands?
Slowly but surely the chuckle starts to surface. Even though you’ve tried your hardest to stifle it.
The last thing you want to is to annoy your rather adorable colleague—though—it’s quite entertaining to do so.
“Let me guess. You were lonesome, almost blue, and it had to be him,” You begin, quickly masking the amused expression that wants to display loud and clear, “But you only wanted a little love affair so now you think it’s better that Seokjin forgets you.” You finish, thinning your lips to prevent the boisterous laugh that’s desperate to come out. Sumin’s face is freaking priceless right now.
Oh…her confusion is always the best thing on this planet. Well, besides ABBA of course.
Sumin opens her mouth but soon closes it, a bit unsure how to phrase her next set of words.
Her brows knit together. Tiny wrinkles form on her forehead.
Minutes pass and this look of realization dawns on her.
“Did you just quote ABBA to me?” questions Sumin, a bit confused as she mentally repeats each lyrics that is being sung.
Finally, the laughter, that brews within your chest, erupts into a loud, lively sensation. Your boisterous chuckle bounces off the four walls of your office, mixing with the music that comes from the record player.
You nod; your laughter slowly dying down, yet you still have the amused smirk gracing your face.
“But in all seriousness, why are you hiding away in my office?” You inquired, setting down yet another graded paper on its designated stack.
Sumin glances away from the ceiling, tilting her head down to establish eye contact with you.
“Because, this is the last place that he’d—” Before she can finish her sentence, someone knocks on your door. Then, a person’s voice follows.
“Princess! I know you’re in there!”
This look of dread washes over your friend’s face. Panic instills in her eyes as she grows unsure. What will she do? She doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. She especially doesn’t want him to think that she regrets accepting his proposal.
She slowly turns towards you and mouths, “help me…”
You make a face. You too are unsure on how to handle their unique situation. Then, an idea pops into your mind. Taking a page from one of your student’s essays, you decide to play couple’s therapy.
Without saying a word, you push back your chair and stand up. You feel Sumin’s gaze on you as you calmly walk over to your door.
“What are you doing…?” You hear your friend ask as she becomes more anxious.
You grasp the door handle and swing it open.
“Easy. I am mending your relationship with your fiancé.” You tell her, revealing a panting Seokjin.
Seokjin muttered a quick thanks as he strides right in your office.
Sumin unleashes a long, annoyed groaned, as she feels betrayed by you.
Oh well. She’ll have to get over it.
“Why are hiding from me, princess?” He asks, taking a seat right next to her.
You chuckle softly as you make your way back to your desk. This ought to be entertaining for you. You plant your ass back in your office chair and move it forward your desk, closing the gap between. It’s always easier to grade papers and stay focus when you are close to your work table.
“Yeah Sumin. Why are you hiding away from your doting fiancé?” You playfully ask, repeating his question.
Sumin rolls her eyes at your comment, silently berating you.
“Because, I can’t take all of this wedding talk!” She practically shouts. Her emotions bursting out.
Seokjin’s eyes widen. His jaw nearly drops to the floor. He feels his heart tighten against his chest after hearing her comment.
You, on the other hand, let out a long wince. You’re just her friend and you feel his pain.
“Then, why did you accept my proposal if you dislike planning our wedding?” He spat, allowing the hurt and anger to consume his mind.
“I never said I disliked planning our wedding!”
“That’s pretty much you mean when you said that you can’t take all of this wedding talk!”
“I mean that I’m being overwhelmed, you insufferable twat!”
“Oh!? So, now I’m being insufferable?!”
“Right now?! Yeah!”
You watch the two of them go back and forth. You honestly feel like you’re watching a tennis match, that’s in a never ending rally. Both of them raising their voices to outdo the other. The insults gradually worsen.
Is this what love is supposed to be? If it is, then you’re glad that you’re single. It seems like love hurts…and it doesn’t help that you already have developed a tiny fear of it. You have seen your friends countlessly broken hearted after being dumped by the one person who has sworn to love them forever.
To protect yourself from it, you decide to focus on your work. You develop this giant wall around your heart, guarding it from any potential suitor that express interest in you.
No broke heart for you…
Not wanting to be yelled by your fellow department members, you shout, hoping to get their attention. Time to play, “couple’s therapy”, or else their relationship is done.
“Okay…seems like you two have some pent up frustrations…” You begin, picking your words carefully as you don’t want to trigger them again.
Both Sumin and Seokjin scoff.
“That’s an understatement…” mutters Sumin, crossing her arms over her chest.
Seokjin nods in agreement.
You purse your lips, exhaling deeply, as you think that you need to tackle this a little differently.
“So, why do you guys have so much bottled emotions? Don’t you guys usually talk it out?” You question, leaning in your seat a little.
“We do, but this fool right next to me believes that everything is just dandy once I apologize for my mistakes. He doesn’t even remotely admit that he was in the wrong too!” Sumin answers. Her voice raising a bit near the end.
Seokjin becomes offended by her words. He then refutes her claims by stating that he does acknowledge his mistakes, but it is her own damn fault for not listening to him. Then, that triggers her again.
You stare at them in disbelief as they engage in another bickering war.
For the love of God…
“Okay! Enough you two! What you guys are doing has to stop or just fucking break up! You two constantly arguing over the littlest of shit is quite frankly toxic, and it makes me fucking glad that I’m single!” Your anger bursts out of your body. You breathe heavily, staring intensely at the two. You just want to get back to grading since your free time is almost over.
Both Sumin and Seokjin shyly glance at each other. Their hearts aching at the thought of them no longer being a pair. Something has to change or else they will have to part ways for the sake of their sanity.
“I’m sorry.” They said in unison, looking incredibly apologetic.
You eye them oddly, feeling a bit confused at how fast they apologized. Maybe you will think about becoming a couple’s therapist as a side job. It doesn’t hurt to earn a little extra money.
“It’s not like I’m fed up with planning our wedding. I’m just…feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything.” Sumin confesses, explaining her recent behavior. Though, she knows that doesn’t give her the excuse to be uncooperative.
Seokjin places his hand on top of hers, squeezing it just a bit.
“What’s got you so overwhelmed, princess?”
“Just that we got this new dean in my department, and I hear that he’s terminating people’s position based on the success rate of their students last semester,” Sumin pauses for a moment, “And as you know, I didn’t have that great of semester during the Spring…” She finishes as this look of concern washes over.
You eye your friend sadly, not wanting her to be fired over something so little. It’s not her fault that her students gave up halfway after seeing that her class isn’t this “throw away” class where you earn easy credits. No. Just like with your class, if you want an “A” in her class, then you do the work. Plain and simple.
As you open your mouth to say some encouraging words, the three of you hear a knock.
Your brows furrow together as you aren’t aware that a student has come to see you during your office hours.
You tell the couple that you’ll be right back as you push your chair away. You stand up and head over to the office door. You swiftly open it, not wanting to keep your student waiting.
“I’m incredibly sorry. I wasn’t aware that I had someone scheduled to come in during…my…office…hours…” Your voice slows as you see a man, nicely dressed in a dark grey suit with his hair styled just a bit, standing outside instead of a student.
Oh…that’s extremely awkward…
“Pardon my intrusion, but my name is Kim Junmyeon, and I am your new department head.” He introduces, holding out his hand for you to shake.
You remain standing there; your mouth slightly ajar, looking like a complete idiot. Your pupils dilate just a bit. You feel your face grow warm while your heart starts to race.
In short…you’ve become smitten with the handsome man in front of you.
Sumin, noticing that you haven’t said anything in almost a minute, peeks behind your body.
“I apologize for my friend, she’s usually articulate in these types of situation!” You hear Sumin tease, forcibly pulling you away from your conflicted thoughts.
You lightly slap your face, pulling yourself together. Though, you’re certain that you just made a bigger fool of yourself.
Luckily…Junmyeon doesn’t think so. Unknown to you, he finds it a bit cute that you’ve become awestruck. Normally, that happens to his friends Jongin and Chanyeol due to how extremely handsome they are. While, with him, he deems himself as average. Seeing your eyes widen and your lips slightly open makes him feel—happy.
“That’s quite alright.” He chuckles as he drops his hand, acknowledging that he’s not getting a hand shake, “I usually get that myself, so I know that feeling.” He says, smiling at you. He needs to stop though or else you might actually fall for him. “As I was saying, I am the new department head for literature, and I wanted to get to know my fellow colleagues.” He states, explaining his presence near your office.
You nod with a friendly smile.
“Oh. Well, hello! I’m Y/N L/N, and I teach composition theories and practices and introduction to the literature of the United States and British Isles for this department.” You finally introduce yourself, feeling a bit proud of the subjects that you’re so graciously bestowed with.
Junmyeon can’t help but feel impress with your topics, especially with British literature. He always finds that subject to be quite difficult since British literature has a wide range of authors and eras with different issues that need to be known.
Yeah…it makes his brain hurt just thinking about it…
“Well, it is nice to meet you. I look forward to working with you and maybe seeing you around in the office.” He says before bidding farewell to you.
You say a quick, “okay”, as you close your office door. Though, you swear that your voice cracked just a little. Great.
A long, content filled sigh leaves your lips. You remain still, alone with your thoughts. You try to wrap your mind around the fact that your department chair makes you this silly school girl with a crush. You can’t possible feel this way over someone you’ve just met. No. It’s not possible. Yes, you don’t deny that he’s handsome but, at the same time, it’s highly inappropriate to think so. You need to squash these feelings quickly.
With a determined smile, you walk back to your desk. Not to grade your students’ assignments, but to gather your class material as it’s time for your next session.
“So…you’re not going to pursue him?” You hear Sumin ask, registering the playfulness in her tone.
“Seokjin, can’t you control your fiancée?” You question, ignoring Sumin’s knowing smirk and the teasing gleam in her eyes.
Seokjin laughs, “Oh, I wish I could, but you and I both know that she does what she wants. I’m just here to make sure that she doesn’t get in trouble whenever you or Kat are not around.”
This time you laugh, agreeing with his statement.
“Speaking of Kat, how is her relationship with what’s his face?”
“Chanyeol? Last time I heard, it’s good, especially when she says that he makes her “wetter than a wet nap”.”
“Gross. I didn’t need to know that.”
“Well…you asked…”
A few weeks later, things have returned to normal. Well – as normal as they can be – since the semester is nearing the end and everything is becoming fast-pace. You still have papers to grade. Projects to assign to your students. It’s just one giant tornado of assignments that need to be release. You even have students coming up to you and inquiring how they can raise their grades. Now, that means you have to create extra credit opportunities. Which means…more grading…
Currently packing away your lecture materials, you say goodbye to each and every one of your students as they exit the classroom. You turn off the computer, making sure to grab your thumb drive in the process.
And just as you’re ready to exit the room, you hear someone knocking. They even announce that they’re knocking.
“Ah, Y/N! I was hoping that I would find you here.” Says a familiar voice, causing you to smile.
“Well, Mr. Kim, I’m always in this room until about 10:15 A.M.” You playfully point out as you walk over to the door, which Junmyeon politely holds open for you before trailing after you.
“Of course, I knew that,” He scratches his neck nervously, “Anyway, I was wondering if you would like to grab a cup of coffee with me before your next lecture.” He says, trying his hardest to sound confident.
From what Sumin has told him, you like strong, confident people. Bonus points if they’re dorky and funny, which he is – or at least – that’s what his friends tell him. All. The. Fucking. Time. If only he hasn’t known them since their high school days, he would’ve gotten new friends by now.
“I mean, if it is too forward of me to be asking you this, then I take it back!” He quickly adds, observing your long silence, as the two of you exit the liberal arts building.
You snap out of your thoughts, “Huh? Oh! You’re not being forward at all! I was just um recalling what I had to do before the weekend comes.” You explain with an apologetic smile, embarrassed about your actions.
However, Junmyeon waves away your explanation, citing that you never have to apologize for worrying about work. He adds that he understands completely. While, he doesn’t lecture as often as you do, he juggles his lecture position with his department chair position. And that is not fun whatsoever. There have been times he accidentally brought his lecture materials to his meetings with other department chairs and vice versa. So if anyone understands your struggles, it’s him.
And that is something that makes you feel appreciative. That is also why the wall around your heart is almost gone. Since the first day the two of you have met, you feel this strong pull. But – of course – you ignore them as you allow the fear of falling in love control your happiness. You even chant repeatedly that it’s inappropriate for two colleagues to even remotely express interest in each other.
So…why…?
Why has he continued to show a keen interest in you?
Ranging from leaving a nice fresh cup of coffee on your office desk to happily buying you lunch.
Seriously. His sweet gestures show no chance of stopping anytime soon – and it only fuels the warmness in your heart. Lately, you find yourself smiling softly or blushing like a fool whenever you see his little presents or even just thinking about him.
Hearing his name alone sent the butterflies in your tummy into a wild frenzy. And when you’ve talked this out with Sumin, that’s when it finally occurred to you.
You no longer fear love. You no longer fear the idea of arguing with him over something little. As you recall your friend’s wise words,
“Honestly, you should worry when he doesn’t fight you on something. Seokjin arguing with me, here and there, shows that he cares enough in this relationship to let me know that ‘hey, I’m here, and I’m not going let some petty argument get the best of us.’ Most of the time, I’m in the wrong, and I freely admit that once I’ve cooled down and see his perspective of the situation.” Sumin smiles softly, “And, I wouldn’t have known that if he didn’t argue back.” She finishes before taking a sip of her peach flavored green tea.
If arguing means that he will never let you down, then you’ll gladly accept that.
“Of course, I’ll love to get a cup of coffee with you.” You say. Your eyes practically beaming with happiness.
Junmyeon’s eyes widen in return. His heart skipping a beat. His tummy doing somersaults. To say that he feels like he won the jackpot would be an understatement.
He feels that the Gods of romance finally bestowed him the chance at happiness. He has never met someone who connects with him on a personal level before. Most of the time, it’s been fake. The women he unfortunately went out on a date with, only wanted to get to know his friends. Women only see him as this stepping stool to get to his friends but not you.
No…
You’re special.
“Would it be alright if I call this a date?”
“I’ll do you one better. Pick me up this Saturday evening at 6:00 P.M.”
“Perfect.”
A/N: I FINALLY FINISHED ONE OF THE XMAS PRESENTS! If you can’t tell this is for @yehet-me-up Sarah AKA Suho’s queen! She has written me a birthday drabble last year and honestly, she’s just an amazing person. While, I do not talk to her about any problem that I have, I know that she would listen to my worries if I ever did. She is one of the brightest and warmest person on this site, and I just love her. She is like my Tumblr big sister, who likes to make me suffer here and there. I will forever be grateful to have her in my life and value my friendship with her.
I hope you like this one shot! I may not be writer goals like you and Kat LOL but I tried my best, especially listening to the “Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again” soundtrack on repeat lol I love you Sarah! :)
Side note: @yeoltidecarol I had to mention Kat and one of her infamous tags when it comes to Chanyeol ;)
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- Kim
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Regrettably, I have nothing Valentine’s Day-related to post, but what I do have is the next installment of the collab between @nerdlycharming and myself. This one includes migraines, puking and fluff. 🙃 Feel free to send either of us questions if you have any!
Word count: ~4000
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Admittedly, Quinn was having a stressful week.
With the deadline to apply for next semester’s financial aid growing closer, the struggle to finish an essay for a class he hated, and the burden he put on himself to keep his grades near perfect, finding out his brother had been hospitalized for heart palpitations was the final tipping point he hadn't needed.
He had reached the point of being overwhelmed a week ago, and he knew agreeing to take on a double shift over the weekend would be a huge mistake. The clinic was always twice as busy with double the amount of drunken idiots needing to be treated for injuries or alcohol poisoning. It was his absolute least favorite time to work.
But he wanted the extra money to help take care of some of the family bills while Orrin was in the hospital. With him being unable to leave campus because of his heavy class and work schedule, he knew it meant his mom would have to take off work to be with his brother.
He was reminded how much he hated weekend shifts after the first patient vomited on him, the second tried to flirt with him, and the next half a dozen became disgruntled because of the amount of time they had to sit in the waiting room.
It wasn't long before he started to feel a budding pressure behind his eyes. It came with incoordination and flickering lights that blinded and distracted him.
He was nauseous. So nauseous. The pain from before seemed to have crescendoed throughout the day, bringing with it a tidal wave of nausea that seemed to swell with every little sound, sight, smell, and movement. He knew he couldn't ignore the migraine any longer.
Everything was too loud, even his own ragged breathing. Every light was too bright, no matter how tight he shut his eyes. Every movement exacerbated the pain and the queasiness, and every touch on his skin was like an electric shock.
He hadn't warned Michael; he couldn't even look at his phone for the pain the brightness caused. He couldn't remember now if he'd ever told his boyfriend about his propensity for headaches.
Quinn wasn't entirely sure how he managed to endure the ride, nevertheless get off at the right stop and stumble up the last few yards toward the front door. His fingers were clumsy and he nearly dropped the keys, struggling even to insert it into the lock.
He was sure he was making plenty of noise for Michael to be able to hear on the inside of the door. His suspicions were confirmed only seconds later as Michael called out to him from the other side, the noise, though, mostly quiet, still felt like someone had set off fireworks next to his ears.
The pain now blinding white, he hardly even processed why the door opened, only able to know it had and his only goal became finding something--anything he could throw up in.
He brushed past his boyfriend without a word, cringing at the sound of the tv and the sheer number of lights that seemed to be on, and made a beeline for the kitchen. He hadn't even taken off his shoes and his backpack was still slung over his shoulders.
There was something on the stove, probably dinner, and the smell made Quinn's stomach lurch. He stood over the sink and retched dryly, his own voice grating on his ears.
His very nerves felt like they were on fire and he honestly felt like crying. Every one of his senses seemed heightened and they all caused him insurmountable pain.
He let out a wet belch, his body convulsing as a slurry of sick splashed into the sink. He was only given a few seconds to try and catch his breath before his stomach heaved and he was throwing up again.
Michael could only watch in confused horror as his boyfriend ran into the kitchen and began throwing up. Not only was it a slightly jarring type of event, but it was one of his greatest fears. Was Quinn sick? He seemed fine that morning?
Michael shook his head to clear it of his rushing thoughts and closed the door before rushing over to Quinn. Despite his complete terror he removed his backpack and coat, and not knowing any better, he began rubbing his back and offering gentle words, “Easy, just let it out, love.”
He spoke in a normal volume but he might as well have been screaming in Quinn's ears, and the added stimuli just made him throw up again.
Quinn let out a strangled whimper. He wanted to be left alone right now, but he also felt the strong desire to be comforted. He put his hands on the sides of the sink, feeling his legs grow weak beneath him.
He was grateful that Michael had taken his backpack off as it seemed to lessen the pressure just slightly. “My head...” he groaned by way of explanation, his voice a strained whisper. The words had barely left his lips before he burped up another, thinner stream of vomit.
Michael didn't understand at first and it took just a bit longer than it should have for Quinn's words to finally pull meaning from his mind. “Migraine? Q, baby, do you get migraines?” He remembered having one as a teenager when he'd gotten utterly worked up over the ACTs. His voice had been much quieter that time but he waited for a response, not wanting to leave his side just yet even if it was only to turn off the lights and television.
He could feel himself relax slightly as the fear subsided a bit. He honestly felt a bit guilty for being so afraid when Quinn was absolutely miserable, but he simply couldn't help it. Vomiting always frightened him, to the point of extremes. To the point of extreme hand washing. He had even wiped hand sanitizer all over himself on more than one occasion because he came into contact with someone who was feeling nauseous.
For some reason, though, with Quinn, even though he was frightened just then, he still approached him, instincts to take care of him far outweighing his fear.
Quinn tried nodding, but even that small movement made him feel sick. He rested his elbows on the edge of the sink and dunked his head in between his forearms. It looked as though he was trying to cancel out any sounds around him. “It hurts,” he whimpered.
Everything hurt, his head especially. His whole body was wracked with tension and he felt warm and feverish, though he didn't have a temperature. His nausea had died down a bit, at least for now, but articulating that to Michael was impossible when his own gritted out words sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
This migraine was a bad one. One of the worst he'd had in a long time. Finally, it seemed as though his legs gave out on him and he sank slowly to the floor, trembling slightly and cradling his head in his hands.
Michael had left his side once he nodded an answer. At first, Quinn had felt abandoned but then the television went silent and though his eyes were shut as tightly as he could possibly make them, he knew the lights were going out too.
It felt like it took forever for Michael to be beside him once more, and at the same time it felt too sudden. The apartment was now quiet and dark but his head was no less painful.
Michael grabbed his hand and whispered softly, “Let's get you to bed. Everything is ready for you, we just have to walk there.” His voice was calm but commanding, slightly unusual but Quinn found it reassuring.
Quinn looked up at Michael then, squinting through the hazy flashes of light brought on by the migraine. He opened his mouth to speak, and released a nauseous burp, his hand flying to his mouth.
He shut his eyes again and swallowed repeatedly, willing the nausea away. Whether or not it worked was debatable, but he managed to vocalize that he was okay, and let Michael gently pull him to his feet.
Once on their feet properly Michael practically carried Quinn to his own room where he'd gotten the bed ready and already turned off all the lights. He'd also already laid a waste can by the bed and a set of pajamas too in case Quinn wanted or even felt up to changing out off his scrubs.
Gently he eased him onto the mattress, letting him know about the items as quietly as he could, “I'll be right back, I'm gonna go get you a glass of water and some Excedrin.” He knew they had some and he supposed now he knew why. Before today he had thought maybe one of them bought it by mistake at some point.
When he made it back, he saw with a bit of surprise, that Quinn had managed to wrangle himself out of his work scrubs and into the pajamas that had been set aside for him. He'd also crawled on top of his comforter and seemed to have buried his head under his pillow.
Quinn felt the mattress dip slightly when Michael sat beside him. He didn't want to be bothered right now, but he didn't really want to be alone either. If Michael was speaking to him, he couldn't hear, his hands pressed against his ears to block out the residual sounds of the dorm.
Michael frowned at his lack of response, knowing he was either asleep or ignoring him. He'd asked if he should leave him alone or if he wanted him to stay but with no answer, he figured leaving him alone would probably be the best course of action.
Reluctantly, worry playing across his every thought, he got up from Quinn's bed and began to leave. He figured he'd put on headphones and play his DS since he'd turned out all the lights. He didn't want anything to cause him pain if Quinn needed to go to the bathroom or anything like that.
Sometime after Michael left, though he couldn't be sure exactly how long, Quinn leaned off the side of the bed and threw up again. The only good thing that came from it, was he finally noticed the glass of water and Excedrin Michael had laid out for him on the bedside table. He took the medication without hesitation and quickly managed to fall asleep.
Michael heard Quinn vomiting again, his own stomach dropping to his toes. He rushed out of the living room to try and help in any way he could even if it was just holding the bucket. By the time he got there though Quinn was already asleep.
Carefully he grabbed the bucket and took it to the bathroom, holding it at arms length and gagging himself as he emptied the container into the toilet. He finished cleaning up, disinfecting everything and taking it back to Quinn who was thankfully, resting peacefully.
After a long, relaxing shower, Michael sat in his room with the lights off, playing Pokemon on his DS, wearing the pajamas Quinn had gotten him for his birthday.
It was several hours later when Quinn finally managed to drag himself out of his room. His head still ached something fierce and his mouth tasted like ass, but overall, he felt significantly better.
He didn't yet know how late it was, but he thought he owed Michael an explanation and possibly an apology for shutting him out the way he had. He followed the quiet sounds of rustling sheets and movement in the bedroom next door, so he dragged his achy body down the hall.
“Hey,” he croaked, leaning against Michael's door frame. His throat was dry from vomiting. He squinted in at Michael, his eyes still adjusting to the darkness, wincing slightly at the light from the DS reflecting off Michael’s glasses. He was still somewhat sensitive to stimuli, but the effects were not nearly as extreme or as crippling as they had been before.
Michael took his headphones out when he realised Quinn was there, he'd nearly yelped in surprise but managed to catch himself. “Hey sweetie,” he whispered, “how are you feeling?” He scooted over slightly, patting his bed to invite him in to sit if he wanted.
“Like death,” Quinn commented as he shambled over, “but better.” That earned him a slight chuckle from his boyfriend.
He slithered onto the bed beside Michael, lying on his stomach and loosely wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. Migraines always took a lot out of him and he was mentally and physically exhausted, sighing as he rested his cheek on Michael's thigh.
“You don't have to whisper anymore. Just—inside voices, okay?” He put his finger to his lips in a quieting gesture, smiling slightly.
Michael smiled, bringing his hand over to start rubbing Quinn's back. “I'm glad you're doing better. You gave me quite a fright you know.”
“I'm sorry,” Quinn said earnestly. “I'm really prone to migraines, especially when I'm stressed out.” He wasn't even sure if Michael had noticed how on edge he'd been this week, as Quinn was always one to hide when he wasn't feeling great, but he supposed now the truth was out there.
“I knew something was off with you this week, I figured you'd tell me when you were ready, or if you needed to talk.” Michael seemed almost disappointed that Quinn hadn't told him he was upset, and in a way he was. He was afraid of what that meant. Then again, he considered, he'd kept a pretty big secret himself. “You can talk to me y'know? When you're upset?”
Quinn started tracing some abstract pattern on Michael's pants leg. “Sorry,” he said again, sounding defeated. He hadn't told Michael about his brother’s hospitalization, but he guessed he should, on the off chance he had to leave school to go see him. Just thinking about it seemed to make his head throb and his brows furrowed. “I don't want to bore you with all my problems…”
“Hey now, there's nothing about you that I find boring.” Michael assured, leaning down to kiss his hair. “I love you, Q and if something is upsetting you or making you sad or even if it's something that makes you jump for joy…” he giggled a bit as he said the last line. “I want to know about it because I love you!”
Quinn's heart swelled at the declaration; it always did when Michael told him he loved him. He wanted to tell him he loved him too, but first, “My brother’s in the hospital.”
Maybe it was an abrupt change of topic, but if Quinn didn't get it out now, he didn't know if he'd have the courage to do it later. And Michael had said he wanted to know when something was upsetting him.
“It's, uh, more heart-related stuff, but he was admitted the other day,” he said. “They don't know for how long, though.” He couldn't really remember what, if anything, he'd told Michael about Orrin’s heart condition. His thoughts had already been jumbled enough as it was, and the lingering migraine wasn't helping.
The smile on Michael’s face faltered immediately at the news. “Oh my god….” He mumbled once Quinn finished speaking. He knew very little about Quinn's family other than he had a younger brother and a mum that worked in a hospital. He knew too that Orrin had spent lots of time in and out of the hospital, but he had no idea why that was.
“Q… why… why didn't you tell me?” He asked. “You can't keep something that big all to yourself, you'll explode!”
“Honey, I…” He didn't know what to say but he knew he needed to say something. “Tomorrow is Saturday, we could go see him. Do you want to?” He figured that was probably a dumb question but he also wasn't sure exactly how they handled things in their family.
“Can we?” Quinn asked, his blue-gray eyes wide as he looked up at Michael through his lashes. He looked so innocent, his voice eager.
Michael had to giggle at the look on his face. “Of course we can!” He explained, leaning in again, kissing his lips. “I'll get an Uber in the morning.” He promised. “But you need to rest, can't have you passing out from pain or exhaustion in front of your little brother. What sort of example would that set?” He winked.
Quinn chuckled lightly. If only Michael knew that Orrin was a hundred times worse. Quinn's own stubbornness had nothing on his brother’s.
He sighed after that and closed his eyes, his head still cushioned on Michael's thigh. His brows were still furrowed in pain, and even after the conversation they'd just had, Quinn didn't want to burden Michael any more than he had to. “Have you ever had a migraine?” he asked instead, looking for a means to distract himself.
Michael shimmied down so he was laying down and Quinn’s head was on his chest, but close enough for him to easily place a long kiss onto his forehead. “Just one, during ACT week. I didn't sleep for two days and studied the entire time and I got so stressed out that not only did I have a bunch of seizures during those two weeks, but I had a headache so bad I went up to my mum and just cried into her shoulder because I was terrified.”
Quinn hummed. He had his arm draped over Michael's stomach, relishing in the closeness he hadn’t been able to enjoy earlier. “I had my first one in high school too,” he said quietly. “Thought I was dying. But I knew what it was because my dad used to get ‘em.”
He knew he hadn't told Michael anything about his dad. It was a topic he didn't often bring up of his own free will.
Michael's shock was clear, but he quickly hid it away, attempting to look casual. “He did?” He asked. He'd never ever heard Quinn so much as mention even having a father at all. He wondered why but he knew Quinn would tell him when he was ready and he currently operated under the theory that they were either adopted by just his mother or she'd maybe had IVF. Though, he honestly hadn't given it much thought beyond that.
“Yeah…” Quinn answered, humming again. It wasn't that he hadn't gotten over it—after all, he'd been about 8 when it happened. And he had his memories of course, but sometimes he couldn't help but wonder if anything in his life would be different if his dad was still alive.
Quinn was quiet after that, pressed snugly against Michael's side, feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest, hearing his breath just before it blew a gentle breeze through his hair. After another moment, he let out a soft whine. “My head hurts,” he said, feeling Michael kiss his hairline just as he spoke.
“I know it does sweetheart, did you take the medicine I left for you?” He asked before kissing him again. He slid a hand underneath his shirt and started tracing nonsense patterns onto his skin.
Quinn shuddered at the sudden touch, relaxing back into Michael's side with a huff. “Mhm, think so,” he replied sleepily. “What time is it?” Since the whole dorm was dark when he woke, Quinn had no idea how long he'd been asleep for. He had no idea how long it’d been since he took the Excedrin.
Michael looked over at his alarm clock, he felt better having one specifically designated to waking him up. “Nearly three in the morning.” He reported with a yawn. He truly hadn’t realised it had gotten so late already. He’d been so caught up in his worry and his attempt to distract himself with Pokemon.
“Why were you up so late?” Not that Quinn had much room to talk, because here they were, both awake now.
On most nights, when he wasn't pushing to stay awake for deadlines and exams, Quinn allowed himself to go to bed at what he considered a reasonably early time. There were some nights, however, where he'd be so exhausted from work that he'd pass out, usually on the couch, before 9 o'clock.
Michael blushed, not that Quinn could see it since it was so dark and his eyes were still closed. “I was too worried about you…” Michael had a tendency toward insomnia anyway, but especially when he was anxious.
There were a lot of things Quinn could have said to express his gratitude, a simple thank you among them. Instead, he uttered a delirious, “I'd kiss you right now, but my mouth probably still tastes like puke.”
Michael couldn't help but laugh at the statement, “Here, just lay here a minute, I'll be right back.” He sat up and left the room, going to get the Excedrin for Quinn along with mouthwash and a cup of water.
“Here, I brought mouthwash if you wanted it, I know it's bad for your teeth to let that stuff stick around, but I got water too, and medicine.” Michael told him as he sat back down next to him in the dark.
Quinn dragged himself into a sitting position, opening his eyes for the first time since lying in Michael's bed. Even after sleeping, he still looked and felt exhausted. He took the mouthwash and swished it around his cheeks to clear the dry, acidic taste coating the inside of his mouth.
After he spit the mouthwash back into the cup, he laid his head down on Michael's shoulder with a sigh, taking the Excedrin and water from him. “Thanks,” he breathed. “Give me a minute, then I'll go back to my room so you can get some sleep.”
Michael laughed again. “Don't be daft.” He was still laughing as he spoke. Laying down he continued, “I didn't stay up til three in the morning worrying about you to sleep alone.” He leaned over and kissed his lips gently, noting that Quinn tasted like spearmint. “I love you, now get your ass back in bed.”
Quinn huffed in mock indignancy. “You're bossy when you're sleepy,” he said, crawling back under the covers. He immediately wrapped his arms around Michael, taking on the characteristics of a very cuddly, very attached tree sloth.
“I love you too,” he murmured, burying his face in Michael's side. His head was still throbbing, but, after taking the medicine, he hoped the pain would soon die down enough to get some sleep.
Michael gently dragged his fingers through Quinn's hair, massaging as he went. He hoped it was comforting to him and not making things worse instead. “This okay?” He whispered. He was so tired, he wasn't totally sure how much longer he could stay awake.
Quinn made a low guttural sound in the back of his throat, a keening sound, and melted into the touch. He'd have to remind Michael later that, whatever he was doing, it was a must have for whenever Quinn got another migraine. “More than okay…” he moaned, making Michael smile.
He fell asleep quickly after that, the headache subsiding to a dull ache. Michael followed soon after, their arms still entwined together.
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Take Your Medication
I’m a college freshman in my second semester. I’ve been struggling with depression and ADHD for who knows how long, but I was diagnosed(i think? idk if it was official) in my freshman year of high school and given medication for it sometime in my senior year.
I didn’t take the medication very often. I started off strong, taking the ADHD medication especially to get me through classes and make sure the dosage lasted me to sixth period, my worst class at the time. But over the summer I stopped because I decided that the positive effects didn’t make up for the side effects: a lack of appetite and dry mouth.
Below the keep reading is my experience with mental illnesses and medication. It’s long. tl;dr If you have access to medication, take it. It helps. And make sure the dosage is right for you
I’ve never been a bad student. Aside from failing algebra 2 in freshman year (ive never been good at “advanced” math, it was an IB class so even worse, and even better students agreed that the teacher was awful), I’ve gotten at worst 1-2 C’s per year. But since middle school I’ve found myself unable to pay attention, preferring to think about the book I want to read or the game I want to play or even just something else I started learning about. I figured out how to get by with finished homework and average tests. But I took about 6 AP tests in high school and only passed one, because I couldn’t study well enough to retain all the information I learned and forgot over the course, or pay attention to the exam to finish the multiple choice, or have enough foundation in the subject to write an essay that mattered at all.
This point in my life has almost certainly been my worst, depression-wise. I only live about twenty minutes away from my parents’ house, and I go home every weekend so I’m not just alone in my apartment for three days straight, but I’m still isolated during the week. My friends that are still in high school are busy with classes and extracurriculars and meeting with friends they still see everyday and very few of them have their own cars to drive up to visit me, and my friends in college are all busier than ever, all going to school anywhere from 15 minutes to like four hours away. My bad days are worse and happen more often and can span into bad weeks. I tend to write at best 1 page of notes after about 2 1/2 hours of classes a week, and drain my phone battery down to the sixties because I don't pay attention in lectures on subjects I’m not interested in.
In high school I couldn’t wait for college, because I could choose my classes and the times and had the opportunity to make friends! But I realized I’m bad at making friends; I made one friend in kindergarten, when times were simpler, and all my lasting relationships (aside from my online friends, whom I treasure dearly) can be attributed to that one friendship. (I actually made a flowchart during class when another student was presenting, and I had the energy and motivation because I actually took my meds today!)
All this personal information about my Bad Times™ is to make you understand how much I needed to take my medication. But I don’t have classes everyday, so I didn’t think that taking ADHD meds everyday was worth it, and I (incorrectly) recalled that taking the depression meds didn’t help me enough to validate taking it everyday, instead only when it got really bad, but that plan didn’t work because when my depression is bad I don’t even have enough energy to text back or walk like four steps total to get my laptop, let alone walk to the bathroom and get the pills.
So I didn’t take it, besides from when I worked my first 8-hour shifts at my first job. And those side-effects were extreme, because my body wasn’t used to these meds that were incredibly high in dosage because that’s what I need. I felt nauseous and dizzy enough to faint and went to the back room like four times an hour for a drink of water and it was still way less than I wanted. And I still didn’t learn my lesson about how the side-effects would get easier to handle if I took them more, but worse if I only took them on worst-case bases. I was thinking more in the moment about how bad I felt then, rather than about how I could feel better in the future if I pushed through.
I had a series of awful days, just last week. I cried several tears with no clear cause, only my own thoughts and boredom and depression, which means a lot in relation to me because I don’t cry. I watched Dear Evan Hansen and The Prom live, both with the original cast, and only cried a total of five tears at most, despite how these musicals and their subject matters are very dear to me. It was a bad week that came out of nowhere, nothing extraordinarily bad happened. I did the same thing as always, if not more. But still, it was a very bad week, because I was experiencing the heavy depression and it didn’t go away after I fell asleep. I don’t have classes on Wednesdays this semester; I have a lab on Mondays, and three lectures in a row on Tuesdays and Thursdays because I learned last semester that having enough leisure time to chill in my apartment for several hours between classes only makes going to the later class way more tedious. I usually get picked up by one of my parents on Thursdays while whichever of them it is drives home from work that day. That week I was lucky to have my Thursday classes cancelled, so I got picked up a day early.
Being home is good for my health, adding it all up. It makes me a bit insecure about being independent, but fuck that I’m only 18 and I love my parents, I don’t need to be completely independent yet. Being home only improved when @pointlessoressential moved in with me; having someone so similar to me in regards of being content sitting and doing our own thing without the expectation to have something to Do™ all the time. It’s good for me, to have someone around me so I don’t get too isolated, but also not too overwhelmed. I’m usually pretty open with my mom, too, so being with her during the weekend and being able to talk with her or watch some easy TV together is good. I’ve never been very good at opening up to people; my main characterization with friends I’m not as close with is sarcasm and puns and whatever other humor to distract both of us from personal issues. I’ve been trying to get better, with help and reminders from the aforementioned bee and mom, as well as my best friend (who yes my meeting of and bonding with can indirectly be connected to that kindergarten friend, if you were wondering) who is much more skilled at telling me about her feelings than I am. But I’m trying. So I told my mom about how I had been having a bad week, once I got home.
My mom has dealt with depression her whole life, too. Most of her life she thought she also had anxiety, but when I was diagnosed with ADHD, the psychiatrist who had prescribed me the medications I take explained to both of us that ADHD in afab people (I'd say women bc my mom is cis but I'm nonbinary, so afab people) can be misdiagnosed as anxiety bc it’s different from what TV shows it to be, and the reactive anxiety (as opposed to constant, causeless anxiety from an anxiety disorder) is a symptom of ADHD. She’s dealt with the same issues all her life, so I go to her often when I hit the wall.
She told me to take the medication. I said I didn’t like the side-effects. She bought me mouthwash that helps dry mouth and a box of Rice Krispies Treats so I can eat something small but filling when I lose my appetite. She reminded me that the side-effects would improve if I took the medication more often. I am privileged in that I had the opportunity to see a doctor for my issues and be able to afford (even if barely) my medication, and I should take advantage of that instead of taking it for granted.
This is a long post, sharing my personal story about having mental illnesses, and how medication helps. It may not feel like it took effect, but then it’ll wear off and you’ll realize the difference. It’s better to feel stable, to feel “normal” for most of the day, than to get used to feeling awful. I took my medication this morning before class; I’ve taken about five hours to write this whole thing, due to having begun it before one lecture started, then continuing it during another while also listening to my professor review the first five chapters of Return of the King and discuss it with us. And now I’m in my apartment, on my laptop, switching between ending this PSA and checking on due dates and reviewing my calendar and just being 10 times more productive than I ever am.
I don’t know if anyone will need this advice. I don’t know how many will even click the read more. But this is a blog site, and this is something I’m trying to learn and have it remembered. It’s something I needed to put into words, and now it is.
#mental health#medication#depression#adhd#american education#this has been a psa#mental health advice
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AI – Thoughts and Rants
This summer semester I decided to take Introduction to Artificial Intelligence, which the university I go to offers as an elective for CS majors. Which is awesome, I know! As a computer science student I had been curious for a while about the robots, talking computers that assist Iron Man, and even the “magic” behind things like Siri. Yes even I, someone who is in the “know” about a field like software engineering, which is intertwined with AI in more ways than one, fantasizes (or used to, maybe?) about a future where robots assist us on all kinds of tasks and make our lives better/easier, or in the case of I, Robot, a lot worse. All jokes and fiction aside, the fact is that AI exists already in our lives. In fact it is so infused with our day-to-day lives that we don’t even notice it. You ever look at the weather app on your phone? Do you ever go to Google Translate? Do you ever ask Google for directions? Do you ever ask Siri anything? All of these things use some technique that was born in the field of AI, or machine learning (which is a very close sibling to AI). I could go into all kinds of impressive, and not-so-impressive, techniques that I learned about in the class. A-Star search; Informed Search; Probabilistic Reasoning; Markovian Models; Neural Nets, etc. But this is not the reason why I write this.
The reason why I write this essay/blog post is because a friend of mine, who is planning on taking the class next semester, asked me a very simple question, “How is AI?”. Well...the truth is that is not a simple question at all. It’s a tough question. Because I do have MANY reservations about AI. They range from the philosophical, technical and even reach out to my ethical concerns about Artificial Intelligence. Now, before I go on, I want to be clear about something: THIS IS A BIASED PIECE. As I go on, you’ll notice I have specific opinions about AI as a software engineer. I also want to state that this is NOT a piece meant to attack/offend anybody/anyone/ any organization that is researching AI or building products powered by AI/machine learning. I think you are all awesome people(a little crazy, but in a good way), and you have my utmost and sincere respect. Now that that is out of the way, let’s get down to business.
Before coming to this class I thought AI was an awesome/fascinating field(at the moment I still do). That with everyone—mainstream media, programmers, Google, Microsoft—hyping up AI, I thought to myself, there has to be reason for all the buzz and fuzz about this “AI thing” . And to be honest, MOST of it is undeniably granted. So...as a software engineer I was surprised by how mathematical AI really was. You’d think that a field that is, as stated before, so infused with our lives would be somewhere on the vicinity of software engineering in regards to practicality. But it’s truly not. The truth is that a lot of problems, rightfully so, have to be theorized/generalized in some way before they’re solved in an intelligent manner by a machine. And this makes sense. Think about it, if you want to talk about path-finding, “paths” aren’t simply cities A-F, and find the shortest path. This could be the surface of a new planet with a different landscape, New York, a colony in the moon or you might even have a case where you’re concerned about the cost of moving a piece on a chessboard. It’s also not just about making the algorithm fast. And it’s not that AI doesn’t welcome nice Big O notations like constant time and linear and logN—and these are becoming less central to any algorithm given all of the crazy-fast hardware we have today and the crazier-faster that is still to come. These are, like any algorithm, preferred over N^2 or something above that. However, AI’s top priority to my understanding(at least if I learned what I was supposed to learn), is to solve problems, or find answers, in an intelligent way.
But what the in the world does intelligent mean, anyway?
This is when AI becomes philosophical. And, if you ever take this class(or at least the specific AI class I took), you won’t be tested on the philosophical definitions of AI. But even though you won’t be tested on those when doing the projects, which is the most important part of the class, you won’t directly use anything philosophical, it’s worth keeping in mind that any algorithm in AI is trying to do things intelligently. This means that brute force is not welcome; that randomness, with some exceptions(like hill climbing), is not very welcome; most things that aren’t generalized(in an intelligent manner) are not very welcome. This is one of the reasons why AI is math-heavy: AI scientists need a way to generalize intelligence. But how general can intelligence really be? Can it really mimic the intelligence of a human to the point that it can compose songs, write an essay on the politics of the world and even make moral judgments? At the end of the day, not really. I mean you can take all of the songs recorded up to this day, and write a fancy neural net(don’t ask me how they work, they’re not super-complicated, but not a walk-in-the-park either) and it can classify and recognize some patterns and put something together….but it’s just re-mixing what we’ve already heard and listened to a million times. So no, AI is not that general. The AI of today is very narrow. This is not to say that it is useless. AI is very useful and will be in the future; speech recognition will get better; self-driving cars will improve; it will be able to write “better” songs. But AI won’t have a face; it won’t (and this is subjectively my opinion) have the ability to make moral judgments(and if we allow it to, then we are fools buying snake oil). As a software engineer I found the radical uses of Bayes Theorem somewhat interesting, but not very exciting. I found myself subscribing to the idea to program intelligence into the machine, rather than program it and tell it what to do. This, if I’m being frank, made me a little uncomfortable. As a software engineer I like tinkering with machines, I like to write programs that solve problems(rather than “program” intelligence and let It solve the problems for me). I felt as if I were being submissive to this idea—I know, it’s a stretch. And yes, I am probably romanticizing programming as a craft, but I’m sorry, I can’t help it. Speaking of programming machines, that reminds me, to the AI people(and I’m speaking about the specific people that guided me throughout the class—professors and TAs) the code did not matter. Which struck me as surprising, and a little unnerving. To them all that mattered was the theorems, excel charts and “report”. Which again, given the fact that the code itself in practice is the building block for the AI agent to do whatever it is that it needs to do, was unnerving—borderline frustrating. I don’t write code to plot charts, theorize formulas or see trends. That’s not to say, I write code without documentation. Documentation is not what we are talking about here. Indeed, self-documented code is a must. But to write code to satisfy Bayes Theorem? That itself is frustrating and, in my opinion, goes against the spirit of creativity in programming. It goes against the lemma I follow when I code—hack away. Hack the malloc calls to the point where all of the segments you allocate are continuous; trick the OS into caching at all levels only your processes; manipulate CPU priorities to make your process priority 1 because the game you’re building is over-bloated with physics calculations and unnecessary art, and that computer does not have a GPU. AI felt nothing like hacking computers. AI felt nothing like engineering solutions. It felt like forcing code to comply with some theorem—Bayes Theorem, making informed decisions, Perceptron, etc. I seriously respect these techniques, because all of them are incredibly cool and quite impressive. And heck, software engineers do use these techniques today. But, in my humble opinion, an engineer doesn’t have to fully comply with a mathematical rule. They are nice because they make a bunch of assumptions that MOST of the time are true. But in engineering, when we have to directly sometimes interact with hardware and users, some of these assumptions are not very useful in practice. Sometimes as engineers, if we were building an OS, one might have to hard-code stuff with macros in C to make a specific architecture/piece of hardware faster. Sometimes in software engineering, one doesn’t have the luxury of just “throwing memory” at a problem—which is part of the idea of machine learning, along with some statistics. Throw memory at it, implement perceptron and you can classify pictures! Engineers have to keep in mind the cost of adding two gigs of ram—cost in terms of money and resources. As an engineer, when handling CPU scheduling, sometimes one doesn’t know what the best scheduling scheme is. Sometimes engineers have to wait till users actually use the software, and get a “feel” for what’s the best CPU scheduling scheme, given the different use cases. AI doesn’t like hard-coded macros, that’s not intelligent. AI doesn’t love edge-cases hacks, that’s not intelligent. AI doesn’t care about beautiful code that might be 10% faster because one follows good practices. AI, from the impression I got in this class, is almost programming-independent. One might even say it finds programming languages hindering because there isn’t a language that fully expresses how “great”(ahem, intelligent) It really is. I could be wrong about these assumptions. Because, heck, what do I know? I’m only a software engineer.
Despite my reservations about AI, I highly recommend taking the class as a CS major. Having said what I said, AI is not going away. For better or worse, it will stay in the lives of people, software engineers and not-software engineers. It is and will be a necessary evil of our present and future. Take the class, get a feel for what you think of it. And if you’re like me—you like to hack computers—you’ll survive in that jungle of probability and intelligence greatness. I honestly can’t tell you to stay or not, that’s your choice. In the meantime, I choose not to.
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Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me
Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right
Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh
Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺
Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??
It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴
Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL
I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌
YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔
Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪
I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)
Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?
I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?
Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)
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i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪
tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤
pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪
it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL
go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??
snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.
u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪
dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce
UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH
i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity
I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.
my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧
well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month
i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life
the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh
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