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f4irys4n · 4 months

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this isn't us pt1

park jisung x afab!reader

tags gender neutral terms. cliche best friends to lovers trope. reader and jisung are both at uni. jisung is an art student. jisung pining over another person. jealous reader. jisung being a bit of a dick. arguments upon arguments. a lot of angst. mark looking out for you. jealous jisung. lots of swearing. jisung being very indenial. mutual stuborness. slight mentions of blood. violence and fights. kissing. a lot of crying. there will be a pt2 with smut.

wc 3k

one month.

one whole fucking month since you last spoke to jisung.

you were as stubborn as each other, everyone around you both knew that, and everyone around you knew that no matter how much they pushed you to speak to one another; it wasn't happening. the stubbornness, however, was only making things worse. the longer you went without speaking, the more resentment built up.

it all started over one particular topic. well, person.. jung jieun.

it was her second year at our univeristy, and your friendship group; jisung and you included; had all gotten much closer ever since her first few weeks.

ever since jieun was thrown into the picture, it allowed jisung to worm his way in. and what came with this was jisung slowly drawing away from you, and being attached to jieun's hip.

maybe you were jealous, you didn't deny that, but it just hurt that your best friend of 3 years started leaving you on read for days at a time and was willing to drop you any time of the day just to meet her as if all the time you'd spent together didn't matter to him anymore.

you're not usually one for confrontation, you avoid arguments and any sort of tension like the plague, but the way he was acting caused something to boil inside you and it caused you to snap.

you and jisung had plans to go to the cafe right next to campus after your final lessons of the day, and that caused excitement to bubble in your stomach. that was until he cancelled, babbling on about how he was ill and couldn't muster the effort to even get out of bed but denied all your offers to come over and look after him; like you've always done these past few years; only then to see him not long after this conversation walking to this said cafe with nobody but jieun herself.

now that hurt. that hurt a lot.

it's not like you could even be mad at jieun. she was your friend, possibly even one of your closest, and had absolutely zero interest in jisung. promising you it was solely platonic after overhearing you talking to your best friend, lola, about how you might have a 'small' crush on jisung.

but jisung, on the other hand, you were beyond mad at.

it started off with you ignoring his already very few messages, not even bothering to open them days after they were sent, despite him so obviously seeing you on your phone in lessons and around the halls of uni. and after a week or so you, you just started avoiding him completely, too scared you'd end up saying something you didn't mean out of angry if you spoke to him.

that was until he cornered you one day whilst you were in your dorm. so apparently annoyed at how you were ghosting him for so long, completely oblivious to how they were a result of his own actions.

"what have i done?" jisung asks bluntly, standing in your doorway so it was difficult for you to budge past him to avoid having this conversation.

"you'll have to be more specific," you countered, trying to shut down any sort of argument as fast as possible.

"you're obviously ignoring me and i just want to know what i've done wrong."

you scoff slightly, unable to hold it in. this made jisung cock up his eyebrow in confusion, curious as to what that was for.

"as if you don't know... everyone else has noticed it, why haven't you?" you sigh, trying your best to move past his taller build and get inside your room.

"clearly not. or i wouldn't be asking," he snaps sarcastically, his jaw tensing a little.

"maybe that's the problem."

you shove past him, attempting to slam the door behind you but he was too quick, squeezing himself through the door before it could close fully.

"look.. i don't know what i've done but-" "you've been fucking ignoring me for weeks!" you yell, taking jisung by surprise, his eyes wide in shock. he can't recall you ever yelling, not once in the 3 years you'd been friends.

"plans upon plans cancelled, rescheduled and cancelled again," you continue, venom dripping from your tongue. "we're supposed to be best friends, best fucking friends, and it takes you 5 days to reply to a message from me yet you can spend every waking minute with jieun."

"so this is what it's about?" jisung snapped back, pocking his tongue against the inside of his cheek. "fucking jieun?" "well.. i apologise for wanting to hang with a friend that isn't you for once."

"jisung! you're not getting it!" you yell, slamming your books down onto your desk in frustration.

"what am i not getting, y/n?" jisung yells back, hands balled up in anger. "that jieun's more fun that you? that she's easier to hang out with than you? that she's not as annoying as you? that she's basically better than you in general? because no! i get that, y/n! i completely get that." it left you speechless, hands shaking subtly as you try and hold in the sob you so desperately wanted to let out. you daren't even look at him.

jisung didn't even bother to look back at you before he stormed out, muttering something under his breath as he slammed the door behind him.

once you were certain he was gone, a loud sob left your mouth, tears immediately running down your face. your closest friend had just walked out on you, and you were more than certain that he wasn't even planning on coming back.

and that's what brings us to the present day.

one month without speaking to jisung.

you pretend to like it doesn't hurt, that it doesn't bother you, but it really does. seeing him walk away whenever you go to speak to mark or lola, not even wanting to breathe the same air as you anymore.

you were sitting in your room with lola, she was telling you about how she overheard mark and jisung having an argument, and she believed it could have been about you.

"mark said something about jisung being selfish," lola said, scrolling through her phone as she spoke. "he said that jisung was hurting someone, that someone being you, and that it was unfair he treated them that way. jisung obviously didn't like it, saying that there was a reason he was ignoring you."

"sounds about right, but what does he expect?" you ask lola "he can't just drop me for someone else all the time and expect me to still be all over him."

"don't you worry.. i'll ask mark all about it when i go to his dorm later," she grins.

"god.. your relationship makes me feel morbidly single."

you both continued to chat for around 10 minutes before you heard a knock at the door. lola jumps up to answer, a frown appearing on her face as the door opens.

"who is it?" you ask, before turning your head to glance at the doorway.

jisung.

"i'll... uh, leave you two alone," lola mumbles, quickly grabbing her things and hurrying out the door.

it was silent for a moment. it was suffocating. like a grip on your neck so tight it felt like you were gasping for air. you couldn't bring yourself to look at him, not wanting to see the barren look on his face.

he cleared his throat as if he was about to speak, but nothing came out, the silence lingering on for much longer.

"if you have something to say, just say it," you mumble, flicking through the pages of your homework, still not being able to build u the courage to look at him.

"i just- i just wanted to say-" he paused for a moment "-could you please look at me?" he asks.

your head raised slowly, eyes looking straight into his for the first time in what felt like years. his were red and puffy, they almost looked sore to touch; like he'd been crying nonstop for this entire month of no contact. gazing at him for the first time in a month felt terrifying, and it honestly brought butterflies to your stomach.

you almost felt joyful that he was here, but then his cruel words came flooding back in. 'that enid's more fun than you? she's easier to hang out with than you? she's not as annoying as you? that she's basically better than you in general?' and it made your heart tighten, and your stomach feel the same sickness it experienced that day.

"may i?" he asks gently, pointing towards the empty space on your bed, and you nod, mind feeling too fuzzy to even speak.

he once again stumbles on his words, unable to get anything out that was understandable or could even pass as an actual sentence. he takes a deep breath, inching closer to you until your noses were almost touching.

"i'm sorry.." he mumbles, and you could truly tell he was, but after what he said; that wasn't enough. sorry wasn't ever going to be enough. before you even had time to think, his lips were pressed against yours and you couldn't help but melt at the feeling.

despite this being all you've ever wanted, it still felt wrong, it felt forced. so you pulled away, to jisung's surprise of course. "w-what.." he stuttered, looking at you with a saddened expression on his face.

"y-you- you can't just-" you stumble on your words, not being able to think of what to say, your mind so clouded by the feeling of jisung's lips on yours.

jisung stood up, looking worried, questioning whether he had made a mistake and whether he should have even turned up in the first place.

"you can't just kiss me like that!" you scolded, tears welling in your eyes as you stared at him, what seemed like hatred feeling your eyes. "you can't kiss me and expect everything to be okay, not after everything you've said! you don't get to say sorry and kiss me, things don't work that way jisung," you continued, feeling even more hurt than before.

"but i thought you- i thought you liked me.."

"whether i do or not, you can't just come here and kiss me like that after what you said to me. you can say you're sorry all you want but you don't accidentally say those things, you only say stuff like that if you truly believe it," you spoke, voice shaky whilst sticking up for yourself.

"i see.. yeah.. i get it" jisung chuckles sadly "dont worry, y/n," he says in an almost bitter tone. storming out just like he did a month prior.

in that moment, you pulled out your phone and messaged chenle.

'hey.. can we talk :)'

mark: 'of course! right now? i'm free!'

'please.. it's about jisung.. meet in the courtyard in 10, it's late so barely anyone will be there'

mark: 'sounds great! see you soon!'

jisung storms back to his dorm, slamming his door behind him due to the anger built up inside him.

so much rage and aggression was trying to claw his way out, that he let out a straight yell, knocking over one of his art desk.

after breathing for a moment, he picked up the canvas, noticing it was ripped down the middle. it was a painting of you; he hadn't been able to get you out of his thoughts, his mind racing back and forth, burdened by the image of you all day long. and whenever he feels, he paints. that's why almost all of his entire workload recently was infested with images of you, some small sketches, others big canvas pieces fit for a gallery.

"what am i gonna do?" he mumbles to himself, chucking himself down onto his bed and running his hand through his hair in defeat.

honestly, he was so confused and didn't even know how he was feeling anymore. for a while, he was convinced he liked jieun, seeing her every day caused a spark inside him to light up and he chose to chase it. but then there's you, he'd never noticed it until after the argument, but being away from you, not speaking to you or even being able to indulge in your presence was physically painful.

seeing you every day but feeling too ashamed to speak to you felt like something worse than torture, it became too much that he was convinced he'd rather die than be away from your bright light. after feeling such loss, despite still seeing you around, made him realise he didn't like jieun half as much as he thought.

the constant longing he felt for you, the need to be around you and see you, to touch and hear you was all too much for jisung.

he started to realise that he liked you. he.. he loved you.

and suddenly those 3 years of friendship didn't feel so platonic at all. it felt like every second you knew each other, you were in love.

i mean who platonically spoons their friends until they fall asleep, who platonically gives their friends forehead kisses, who platonically would do anything and everything for their friend just because they had asked you too.

"but now she hates me.." jisung whispers, eyes welling up in shame.

you stepped towards the bench you spotted mark sitting at.

barely anyone else was around at this time, besides two girls you recognised from one of your classes sitting towards the main doors gossiping about some random boy you'd never heard of.

"hey," mark hummed, giving you a comforting smile. "lola told me jisung came to see you earlier..."

"he kissed me," you blurt out. "w-what?" mark choked, extremely shocked by jisung's sudden and bold move.

"he kissed me," you repeated "he didn't even say anything, he didn't explain himself or anything of the sort. he just said two fucking words; i'm sorry; and then kissed me, and thought everything would be okay. i said he can't say or do what he did and expect a kiss to make everything better, and then he stormed off once again."

"i told him to talk to you... just not like that," mark sighed at the younger boy's actions. sure, chenle wanted you both to get along again; you were two of his best friends and seeing you not involved anymore was heartbreaking for him and the rest of the group, but he didn't think jisung would be so tone-deaf to the situation.

you and mark talked for a good hour, originally about jisung but then you delved into other topics as he saw talking about the boy was really starting to get you down, surely some other conversation would take your mind off things.

and suddenly, there he was again; jisung slumped through the doors that lead to the doors, instantly making eye contact with you and mark giggling at whatever you two were talking about at the time, and he saw red. he knew full well that mark was with lola, he knew you saw mark as an older brother but that didn't stop his mind from wandering and creating impossible scenarios as to why you were both out here so late. alone. together.

"what the fuck?" jisung yelled, thankfully, anyone else that was sitting outside was long gone. he approached you and mark, jaw clenched just like his fists. "what the fuck is this?"

"what is what?" mark asks in confusion at the boy's sudden surge of aggression.

"this!" jisung yells, pointing at the two of you. "whatever this is!"

"it's a couple of friends... talking," you reply dryly.

"talking about what? huh?"

"you.." mark chuckled "and how much of a dick you're being. playing with people's emotions isn't cool, man. kissing them? what were you thinking? did you really think kissing them would fix everything? don't be so delusional. do you even like them?"

"yes! of course i fucking do!" jisung replies. you could see the anger in jisung's face rising, not pleased by mark's constant digs. "and then i come out here to you and them giggling and being too friendly," he spits.

"at least i'm being nice, jisung. treating them how they're supposed to be treated," mark growls back, becoming progressively annoyed with how one of his best friends was acting towards you and the situation. "someone has to fucking do it," he finishes, rolling his eyes.

"don't you think- i've always fucking tried... you will never-" and suddenly, jisung's fist came in contact with mark's face, not even finishing his own sentence due to how much rage he was being to see.

"jisung! what the hell!" you yell, holding mark whose nose was now dripping crimson red. "what the actual fuck is wrong with you?"

"i.. i.. don't know," jisung stutters, not being able to process what just happened. "mark.. i'm sorry- i really didn't mean to. i just- i couldn't stop myself!"

"jisung just leave," you mutter, trying to clean u what blood you can with the sleeve of your shirt. but he just stood there, watching you, unable to speak or do anything at all. "i said leave!" you yelled again, tears in your eyes as he began to walk away.

it'd been a few days since anyone had heard or seen anything from jisung. but at this point, not many of you really wanted to see jisung in the first place, not after everything he's done. he was constantly in his room, locked up, painting pieces for days on end.

no sleeping, no eating, no nothing.

for once, he was truly alone, and he didn't like it at all.

in the few days of isolation, he managed to complete the biggest painting he'd ever done. it was an abstract piece, a result of him just throwing random paints at the canvas in anger to see how it'd turn out, and to his surprise, after some touching up, the image started to look just like you.

he smiled at the painting, remembering how beautiful you were at all points of the day. you were the most stunning person he'd ever laid eyes upon, no wonder you made such a perfect piece of art.

in that moment, his eyes started to tear up. he was worried, fear coursing through his veins with every beat of his heart.

he was honestly terrified; terrified of losing you.

and he feared that he already had.

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huiernxoxo · 2 years

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shinestarhwaa · 10 months

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RUBY || CHOI SAN

Read part 2 here

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Rockstar!San x Fem!reader

Word Count: 3K

Tags/warnings: MDNI!, Rockstar!AU, Dirty language, alcohol use, drug use, unprotected sex, rough sex, oral sex, mouthfucking, fingering, namecalling (slut, whore), mild spitting situation, breeding kink, possessive Sanie, degrading, overstimulation

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @star1117-archives @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @lemonhongjoong @babesindestroyland

ENJOY!

"Give it up for King Ruby!"

The crowd around you went wild as the four familiar men entered the stage; Drummer Song Mingi, Frontman Kim Hongjoong, Vocalists and guitarists Park Seonghwa and Choi San. Oh that Choi San.

He would be described as completely feral, deranged, wild, helpless. Known for agression, roughness and narcissism. But oh he was the hottest person in the universe.

The way he'd start the concert off with his clothes on and guitar in hand, and the way he ended it with his chest bare and his guitar in pieces.

He could snap your neck with his bare hands and you'd thank him. That's his level of hotness. The man was sex on legs, no one could deny it.

They wouldn't have to deny it anyway, King Ruby was well known for several sex scandals, parties and relationships here and there. You knew they were all about the Sex, drugs and Rock&Roll life, but God did you want to be a part of it.

You screamed at the top of your lungs as your hands gripped onto the barricade in front of you. Choi San positioned himself right in front of you, pounding on his chest and hyping up the crowd.

"GOOD EVENING, AMSTERDAM!"

You screamed again, wondering if you could keep this up all night. But you travelled all the way here to see them, they were worth it.

"HOW'S EVERYONE FEELING TONIGHT?!"

Choi San's raspy voice shouted into the microphone. Your legs went weak at the sight of him smirking, already covered in sweat because of the July heat and the bright hot lights shining onto his skin.

"LET'S GET THIS PARTY FUCKIN' STARTEEEDD! YOU KNOW THE DRILL, THIS IS 'YOUNG LOLA', SING IT WITH ME!"

They always started off with one of their classics, getting everyone in the right mood. The arena was willed with fans from all over the world, anticipation rising as the members started to play their music.

The night went on as they played all their hits, drinking shots on stage, running around and eventually during your favourite song off all, Choi San's striptease.

You nearly died seeing his toned body, muscly arms and large chest covered in sweat, glistening in the yellow lights. You seriously wished that tonight you would be the girl they'd invite up on stage to lick his sweat off his chest, a wild and controversial tradition of theirs.

Their eyes were scanning the crowd, the tension in the air was nearly making you pass out as you jumped and screamed. Then you saw their eyes land on you, picking you out.

"You! Starry girl, come on here! Yes, you, with the starry thingies on your legs!"

Your breath hitched in your throat and you swore you could barely think. Everything happened in a rush. The handsome, tall bodyguard named Yunho, according to his tag, helped you up to the stage to meet the guys.

Wild electric guitar musics filled your ears as you stood in front of the Choi San. You couldn't help but smirk along with him as he stepped closer to you.

"What's your name, beautiful?" Choi asked, lifting your chin slightly with his fingers, inbetween him playing the guitar. "I'm Y/N," you breathed out.

"You're a lucky gal, give it up for Y/N!" Hongjoong yelled out, the immense crowd cheering for you, jealous but full of nerves and anticipation for what they knew was coming soon.

Hongjoong kicked off with the song 'Lick', your forever favourite. As Choi San eye-flirted with you, you couldn't help but join in with him, moving your hips and running your hand over his chest, feeling his sweat touch your skin.

The killing part was about to come up, the part where Hongjoong sung with all the passion he had in the world, sung the horniest lyrics in existance and that goddamn look in San's eyes, that was your cue to bring out your tongue.

You started off below his adams apple, peppering kisses down to his abs, where you started to lick a stripe back up to San's throat. You heard him groan by your ear, dampening your panties.

It wasn't long before you were back in the crowd, everyone around you cheering loudly as you tried to process what just had happened. You just licked Choi San's sweat.

The concert was amazing, and you nearly lost all the air in your lungs. It was so worth it. More than 50K people saw you lick Choi San's sweaty chest and you immediately tweeted you could die peacefully now, liking and watching all the fanvideos posted on the socials.

You had taken an Uber and then walked into the city centre, strolling there for hours while your head was on cloud 9. You nearly stumbled over your own feet kn your way to the hotel as you couldn't put your phone away. You couldn't stop watching all the videos people took of your moment tonight.

You walked down the red light district, noticing a handsome figure standing outside the coffee shop. You couldn't see his face completely, due to his large cap, but the way he was built reminded you of-

"Hey, starry girl, be careful, you'll trip if you don't stop watching videos while walking, you know?"

Your breath hitched in your throat, just like it had before when they called you out in the crowd. This was Choi San. You'd recognize his voice anywhere. You looked up as he lifted his cap a little, revealing his smug smirk.

The smell of the joint in his hand and his tongue poking into his cheek made you feel drawn to him more than ever. You got closer and licked your bottom lip.

"What's a rockstar like you doing here alone at 2am?" "Well, Y/N, I just got the most wonderful Amsterdam joints from that coffee shop over there and a few packs of weed for the guys for tomorrow, and I'm smoking this one in peace right now," he smirked.

"You're not really allowed to blow on the street here, but-" "I don't see any cops, babygirl. So tell me, why are you walking here alone at night?" "Just on my way to my hotel, actually, thinking about your sweat on me. Or your body."

San laughed and took another puff, offering you too. You agreed and not much later the two of you had started talking as you smoked the joint, walking through the streets as San decided to drop you off at your hotel.

Something deep inside you made you think he was going to offer helping you to your room too, but you did not want to get your hopes up too badly. Did you want to be one of the million girls they slept with? Yes. Actually. Yes.

''This is where I'm staying,'' you said, nudging your head to the right, pointing at the hotel. You looked at the stately hotel with the beautiful white facades. At the same time, Choi San took your hand in his as he walked you inside. You decided not to say a word, not wanting to ruin the moment.

You stepped into the classy-looking elevator, and San got in with you. ''You're coming up?'' you asked, smiling softly, trying to sound innocent. ''I'd rather go down,'' he smirked. Right when the doors of the elevator started to close, San attacked your mouth with his own.

Your lips brushed together, and when you felt a familiar spark in your body you deepened the kiss. It got rougher, messier, sloppier once San stuck his tongue inside your mouth. The rocker sucked on your tongue as he grabbed your hips tightly, pulling you closer.

Ding.

The elevator doors opened on the third floor and an elderly couple stepped into the elevator, greeting you before turning their backs to you. You closed your eyes, trying to gain your breath again. You could feel San's eyes glare at you and you noticed the smirk on his lips in the corner of your eye.

The elevator stopped again at the fourth and you took San's hand, exiting the elevator and walked to your hotelroom. ''You're coming in?'' you asked as you opened the door with the tiny silver key. ''Coming inside?'' he said smirking. Your eyes rolled at the dirty pun, but you pulled him in anyway.

In no time the two of you had gotten half-naked. Your underwear was the only barrier between you and him. You gasped at the sight of his body. It was so much better up close and it was so much better with his pants off too. The print of his dick in his underwear was really driving you insane.

''My eyes are up here, Y/N,'' he smirked. You smiled, ''You remember my name?'' ''Well, first of all I'm not dumb and second of all have you seen your tits? Your ass? Those slutty thigh starry things and those glitter boots? The leather skirt and top? I ain't forgetting you princess.''

''Fuck babe,'' he breathed out, ''Not even wearing any panties under that, babygirl? What a naughty slut.'' San's tongue lapped at your neck and you moaned, melting into his touch. You managed to lock the door before San pulled you to the bed, pushing you on it.

Unexpectedly, San got off you and walked to the mini fridge and pulled a bottle of champagne out of there. ''San, those bottles are like 15 euro's each, you can't d-''

San opened the bottle with a pop, smirking. ''Don't worry about the money, little one.'' He got closer and chugged the champagne from the bottle. He lifted up your chin with his fingers, pouring some champagne into your open mouth, as well as spitting in it. You swallowed and moaned as he attacked your neck again, leaving lovebites all over it.

The man ran his hands over your thighs and ripped the starry thights apart by the crotch, revealing your glistening wet pussy. ''Cannot wait to fucking rip this pussy apart,'' he grunted as he dove between your legs.

''God, yes,'' you moaned when he sucked lightly on your clit. San smirked and looked up at you. ''You like having a pretty face between your legs, don't ya?''

You moaned and nodded eagerly, gripping the sheets tightly when you felt his silky tongue slip between your folds. ''O-Oh that's so good, San!'' He slipped two fingers inside your cunt, pumping them quickly in and out of you.

You could feel the arousal gush out of you with every thrust of his fingers. Melodic moans and whines filled the room, sexual tension thickening the air. San didn't stop until you were shaking on his fingers, orgasm hitting you like a truck.

''Please, San, please, use me like your fucking life depends on it,'' you begged, taking off your bralette. San smirked and took his own underwear off, cock springing free against his stomach.

''Such a naughty little cum dump aren't you?'' he smirked, lifting you up and pushing you down on your knees. Instinctively you opened your mouth for him, inviting his hard dick. ''Are you my cum dump, Ruby?'' he smirked as he swiped his thumb across your bottom lip, smudging your red lipstick.

''Y-Yes, I'll be your cum dump, please give it to me, use me,'' you whined out softly. San took his cock in his hand and slapped it on your tongue a few times. ''All my thoughts about you are so improper babygirl,'' he smirked as he pushed his cock down your throat. You nearly gagged when he started to fuck your mouth, but you closed your eyes and let him go on, letting him use you the way he wants to.

He took another sip from the champagne bottle as he thrusted his hips into your face. Even when you thought he couldn't reach further, he did, fucking into your throat as he held onto your head, fingers tangling in your hair, pulling it slightly as he moved your head on his length.

''Look at you being all fucking cockdrunk, huh? You like having your mouth full of cock? Such a whore. Want it in your pussy don't you?''

He took his cock from your mouth and slapped it against your cheek. ''Y-Yes, I love your cock, I want your cock so bad, again and again, please, take me!'' you begged as you licked and sucked on his balls needily.

San pulled you up and bended you over the little table, pushing into your cunt from behind. ''Fuck, baby you're so wet,'' he smirked as he pounded into you deeply. You cried out his name and gripped onto the edge of the table, trying to stay steady.

His balls slapped against your ass with every thrust of his hips. ''Want it harder, princess? Deeper?'' he asked. ''Y-Yes, all, give it all to me, give it all!''

''Such a greedy little pussy, hm?'' he smirked. San truly gave his all when it came to fucking, he thrusted with an intense force and held your hips tightly. ''I fucking own you now, babygirl, I fucking own this pussy. Gonna fuck you so well no cock will ever be better than mine, you'll only crave mine.''

Your pussy walls clenched around him and you felt your second orgasm approaching. ''You're gonna cum for me huh? Gonna cum for me?'' ''Yes! Yes I'm gonna- gonna-''

You came with a loud moan, shuddering and shaking on the table as San emptied his balls inside you too, coming with a long, animalistic growl. He stilled for a minute and then pulled out, laying you on the table. The polished wood was cold against your back, giving you goosebumps all over.

San poured the champagne over your tits and stomach, making you hiss at the icy cold liquid. The rocker sucked and licked on your nipples, savouring the taste of your skin combined with the alcohol. ''Fuck, I love your tits baby, they're so fucking great,'' he said as he peppered kisses over his stomach, licking up the champagne.

Your pussy clenched around nothing as San dragged his tongue over your body. ''P-Please, San!'' you begged as you propped your legs up on the edge of the table, showing off your messy pussy.

''Beg for it, princess,'' he growled as he sucked on your nipples. ''O-Oh God, San, please, fuck me, fuck me good, make me forget my name, please, I want you so, so bad!'' you cried out, eyes tearing up as he rubbed your clit. ''Are you gonna cry? Princess is gonna cry on my cock?''

He slipped his length back inside you and pounded into you, hitting your g-spot repeatedly, sneaking his hand between your pelvises. Tears flowed from your eyes as the pleasure of his cock on your g-spot and his fingers playing with your clit became too much. You shivered and shuddered and you came again, mix of cum and arousal slipping out of you and dripping down your legs onto the table.

''Such a fucking whore, cumming from that? You're gonna get more baby, you better take it, huh, take it. Want me to breed your little pussy?''

''Oh, San, please, please breed me, fuck me full, fuck me full of your fucking cum, own me, own me! Please, give it all to me!'' you moaned loudly. ''F-Fuck yes baby, you got it, I own your pussy. I'm gonna fuck you so full of my cum, breed you so fucking well!''

''P-Please don't stop! Don't stop!'' you cried, black tears rolling from your eyes as San kept thrusting into you. He picked you up and held you with his hands on his ass, fucking up into you against the wall. You tried to hold onto something, nails sliding over the wallpaper, leaving permanent scratches.

''You fucking love the stretch, huh don't you?'' San panted as he fucked you deeper. You could feel him twitch inside you, noticing he was close to coming again. ''P-Please keep filling me up, keep filling me up, own me, own me!''

San put you on the ground, legs wobbling as he pushed you onto the bed. You fell on the bed with your face in the sheets, staining them with your smudged makeup. You instinctively lifted up your ass and spread your legs to give him access. He pushed into you again and fucked you harder than ever. His cock felt so good inside you, you swore you'd lose your mind.

Your voice was strained from all the loud moans, whines and cries you couldn't help but let out as he plunged into you mercilessly. ''Gonna fill you up so fucking full baby, gonna make sure you're mine forever, my fucking pussy forever, no cock is ever gonna be better for your pussy,'' he grunted.

''Y-yes, I love your cock, please fill me, fill me!'''San thrusted and thrusted until he got sloppy, stilling as he filled you with his cum, making your body twitch again and unravel slowly. He slowed down, rocking into you slowly as he peppered kisses over your back. 'San thrusted and thrusted until he got sloppy, stilling as he filled you with his cum, making your body twitch again and unravel slowly. He slowed down, rocking into you slowly as he peppered kisses over your back as you cried and drooled.

''That's a good fucking girl...''

You couldn't remember anything else from the previous night. You're sure you fucked like four more times before San left the hotel room. This morning you woke up with an incredible headache, realizing how much alcohol you must've had last night.

You made your way into the bathroom, looking at the mess San had made of you. Your hair was a mess, makeup was everywhere and all his cum had dried up inside you. You grinned as you saw a message written in lipstick on the mirror.

''Thank you, my sweet Ruby, come to Paris and let's do this over again.''

#kpop #ateez #smut #san #oneshot

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strwyofthesun · 10 months

Text

forgive me, goodbye

pairing: re2r!leon x f!reader

word count: 3k

synopsis: you and leon have been high school sweethearts and graduated together in 1990. but after graduating from military school and pre-med, trouble arises once leon becomes busy with being a police officer, while you start preparing to leave to the UK for med school.

cont: slight fluff, angst, high school sweethearts, college au, hurt/no comfort

a/n: for my filo readers, this is very loosely (like you have to squint to even realize it) based on raining in manila by lola amour because ive had lss and i can't stop listening to it!

part 2 here !

“—So, as we all bid farewell to this chapter of our lives, I want all of us to look back on what made us who were are now and look forward to the people we will become. Congratulations Class of 1990! We made it!” You exclaimed loudly into the mic. Everyone cheered and hugged one another in celebration of graduating from high school.

The principal smiled widely at you before you handed him the mic for his closing message to everyone. “Thank you to this year’s valedictorian for her heartfelt graduation speech. My dear students, I am so proud of all you. Congratulations!” Cheers and shouts once more echoed in the auditorium. You walk back into the crowd of students, looking for a certain someone. Amidst the bustling crowd, you spot him in his toga with medals around his neck, certificates and diplomas being held up on the right and a bouquet of roses in his left. You hurriedly ran towards his direction and stop right infront of him.

“There’s my valedictorian, I’m so proud of you love.” Leon said as he handed me the bouquet and planted a kiss on my forehead.

“Aww, Leon you didn’t have to…”

“Pft, I want nothing but the best for my girl. You deserve it [Y/N].”

“I love you so much Leon, I don’t think I would’ve survived high school without you.”

“I love you too [Y/N]. You’ll be fine with or without me. But of course you’re better off with me.” Leon said as he winked at me.

He was always such a tease. Ever since 7th to 12th grade, you couldn't believe that out of all the traits that he could keep, it had to be that one. But, it was okay, after all, all that teasing did lead you to fall for him and it was the best thing to have ever come out of your high school experience. People always said you had your head stuck in a book 24/7 and that you had no chance at love if all you ever look at was texts on a book. But now, they’re eating their words, because not only are you in the happiest and healthiest relationship with the school’s heartthrob, but your relationship with Leon outlasted almost all of your batchmates’s relationships combined. Not only that, but you also graduated valedictorian of your batch and was always a consisted honor student while dating Leon.

You had to admit that you and Leon were a walking cliché. Top student falls for the school’s heartthrob, where haven’t you seen that? But God, even if it was a cliché it was the best thing to have ever happened to you. It wasn’t always smooth sailing though. In 7th grade, Leon was always a pain in the ass to you, and it didn’t help that you were always paired up in almost every pair or group activity and project given. He wasn’t always so cooperative, he teased and picked at you, and he was always pre-occupied with either his friends or football. Yes, he was a jock, an irritatingly good-looking one at that.

He never really noticed your efforts when it came to those pair and group assignments the both of you had until one day, in chemistry class, you had held your head down, planning to rest for a little while. Little did you know that you would be waking up in the hospital. The doctor said that you had overworked your body so much to the point where your immune system had weakened drastically. Leon heard this and visited you the following day in the hospital. Your parents were aware of Leon being a big weight on you because you’d always rant to them about him so it was no surprise that when Leon entered your hospital room, he wasn’t exactly greeted warmly by your parents. Even so, they left you and him to talk privately.

“Hey [Y/N]…” Leon said as he looked at the floor. “Um, I brought you some flowers, roses, to um, brighten up your room.” He said awkwardly

You looked at him up and down with a sour look on your face before thanking him. “Thanks… Leon…” He sighed and sat at the foot of your bed.

“Look, I’m sorry… I should’ve helped you out. If I known this would’ve happen-“

“Well, it’s a bit too late for that don’t you think?” I spat back as I cut Leon off.

“I know, I know… So, to make up for it, I’ve told the teacher about me not cooperating and they have decided not to affect your grade because of my shortcomings. I’ve also come here to ask you what other assignments we have so that I can do it while you’re here. I promise I will prepare a good quality output, I’ll send it to you for checking so that you won’t have to worry.”

You were surprised at Leon’s sudden change of heart and were touched by his dedication to make things right for you. You face softened and you breathed out a small sigh.

“Thank you Leon, I’ll send you a list of what needs to be done later on. Thank you for visiting too…” You smile timidly.

“Please, don’t thank me, it’s the least I could do after everything I’ve caused.”

“Come on Leon, accept my thanks, it’s not all the time I get to say that to you.” I joked.

“Alright, alright. Fine, I accept the thanks and you are welcome. I’ll leave you be now. Rest up, recover quick okay?”

“Okay.”

Leon gave you a smile before turning around to leave, but before he left the hospital, he talked to your parents and apologized for the trouble. He even offered to pay the medical expenses to which my parents declined. They said that if you forgave him, then they forgave him too.

On school days while you were at the hospital, Leon would always text you at lunch about what happened during the morning classes and at the end of the day, he’d text you again to tell you what happened during the afternoon classes. He gave you notes, the assignments, recorded lectures, and even stuck to his word about sending you the group works. He really did seemed like a changed man.

8th grade came around and Leon had confessed his feelings for you, to which you reciprocated. And from then on, the two of you have been dating ever since. And something you love about Leon was that he knew that you were a strong, capable, and independent person. He never interfered with your plans and always emphasized that he wanted you to always prioritize yourself over everyone else including himself. Leon supported you in all your endeavours, the competitions, the events, everything. He was and always is your number one fan and you will always be his. Every game he had, you were present. You stood in the front bleachers with the largest banner out there and screamed your head off every time he scored a point. You were everyone’s typical movie high school couple.

“So Leon, what’s your plans for college?” You asked curiously. He never really talked about what he wanted for his future but since we were now high school graduates, it was high time to start thinking about our future plans.

“Oh, actually, I enrolled into a military academy in Raccoon City!” He said excitedly.

“Looks like someone’s excited.” You chuckle.

“Well, yeah! I mean I’ve always wanted to help people out and I think this is a good place to start.”

“I’m so glad you’re doing something you’re passionate about, love.”

“I’m assuming you’ll be pursuing your pre-med course in the city as well?”

“Mhm, that’s right. I can’t believe how fast time flies. We used to be dumb kids arguing over assignments and look at us now.”

Leon looked at you and grabbed you by the waist to pull you into a hug. “I didn’t expect myself to fall for a brainy genius like yourself.”

“And I didn’t expect myself to fall for a sweetheart of a jock but here we are.” you said as the both of you laughed together.

Summer went by and you and Leon had moved to Raccoon City to pursue each other’s passions. The 4 years passed the two of you quickly and you were soon attending each other’s graduation. Seeing Leon in his uniform standing proud and tall made you feel all sorts of things. You can’t believe how far he’s come. Saying you were proud of him was an understatement. At your graduation, you spotted Leon from the stage along with your parents holding up a camera and recording you. He was the absolute cutest boyfriend out there. He treated you and your parents out at an expensive restaurant in the city to celebrate. While at the dinner table, your phone starts ringing. You check to see who was calling you and saw that it was one of your professors from your university. You excused yourself from the table and picked up the incoming call.

“Good evening Ms. [L/N]”

“Good evening madam, is there something you would like to discuss with me?”

“As a matter of fact, there is. If you remember, I helped you apply for a prestigious medical school in the UK yes?”

“Yes, I recall.”

“I come bearing good news! You have been accepted on a full scholarship! I am so proud of you Ms. [L/N].”

You covered your mouth from shock and turned back to look at your parents and Leon who seemed very curious about the call.

“Thank you so much madam for helping me with this opportunity. I will get back to you with my answer in a few days.”

“No problem, take your time. But if I were you, I would grab the opportunity already.”

“I have to consult my parents first madam but I appreciate the incentive.”

“Alright, please do inform me later on your decision. Goodbye and congrats!”

Your professor dropped the call and you go back to the table with Leon and your parents and let them know the good news.

“Oh my God! I’m so proud of you [Y/N]! We’ll pack your stuff right away once we get home!” Your mom said eagerly.

“I’ll help you pack too!” Your dad chimed in.

You laugh at the reactions of you parents but realized that Leon had been rather silent.

“Leon?” you said as you held his hand under the table.

“Hmm? Oh! I’m so proud of you too, love. I can’t believe you’ll be studying in another country…” Leon said as his voice slowly faded. You squeezed his hand and looked at him with a face of concern. Before he could speak again, the waiter had given Leon the bill which he paid for and later your parents left earlier than you leaving Leon and you behind.

“Love, is there something bothering you?”

“I’m… I’m gonna miss you a lot [Y/N]… But, I don’t want to hold you back, you know that.”

“Oh Leon…” You pulled him into an embrace and said, “I’ll miss you too Leon. But I’m not leaving yet, so let’s make most of my time here okay?”

“Okay… I love you [Y/N]…”

“I love you too Leon…”

In a few days, you started getting ready to make your big move to the UK. Meanwhile, Leon had begun working as a police officer in the Raccoon City Police Department. He was always preoccupied with his job and you were busy with all the files you needed to tend to and the preparations you had to ready for med school and all the other likes. As the days progressed, the stress started to feel overwhelming and it did not help that Leon was not as available as much as he used to be. You respected his time and if he wouldn’t want to hold you back, you wouldn’t hold him back either. So you kept to yourself. All the stress, the worry, the nagging thoughts of moving to a new country alone, the pressure put on you by your professor was immense, all of it was driving you borderline insane. Juggling everything on your own felt so tiring but you never once thought of asking Leon or anyone for that matter for help because you did not want to bother them and because you wanted this for yourself. You had no one but yourself to blame. But the opportunity is right there, and you couldn't risk it slipping through your fingers.

It was a week ‘till your departure and Leon had finally decided to visit you after his long shifts at the RPD.

“Hi love, are you ready for the big trip?” He asked while trying to put on a smile on his face but it was evident that he was too tired to even put an effort.

“I don’t know Leon…” you responded.

“What’s the matter?” he asked sounding concerned.

You snapped at Leon and sarcastically replied, "Oh, thanks for finally asking.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What do you think Leon? You haven’t even bothered to check up on me all those days ago?”

“Well I’m sorry if I got too busy with work!”

“Too busy? Would it have killed you to send me at least one text asking how I was?!”

“I didn’t want to disturb you! I knew that you could handle it on your own.”

“But Leon I needed you! Where were you when I needed you?! I was practically going insane already!"

A deafening silence fell upon the room and no one dared to look at each other in the eye. You broke the silence and spoke up once more.

“Look Leon, if this is the current state of our relationship now, I fear that this won’t last once I’m further away.”

“[Y/N]… Are you…?”

“I’m breaking up with you Leon.” You never imagined those words ever coming out of your mouth but there it was, seemingly echoing in all four corners of the room making it all the more painful that it already was.

“You can’t be serious [Y/N]…”

“I am serious Leon. I can’t do this anymore…”

“Fine.” Leon said as he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

You watch him leave as tears start to run down your face. It hurt that you had to do what you did, but seeing how he didn’t even fight for the relationship broke you even more. At the back of your head, you were relieved because now, he wouldn’t have to face the days where he would need you but you were not there for him. He wouldn’t have to constantly worry about you and your well-being. He wouldn’t have to miss you so much that it made his heart ache that he could not see you. You have spent 10 years with each other and were now so used to each other presence. Being away from him pained you as much as it pained him, and nothing could have eased that.

It's 2 hours ‘till departure, you’re at the airport simply passing the time while your parents kept you company. 1 hour left, you start to remember all the memories you’ve made in the city and can't help but shed a tear because all you could ever think off was Leon. 30 minutes, your parents comfort you and held you in their arms as you cried and wallowed in your sadness. 20 minutes, you compose yourself as your flight is near. 10 minutes, bid your farewell to your parents and start walking to the gates until you heard a voice call your name.

You turned around to look for where the voice came from, “Leon?” You mutter as you frantically search amongst the people looking for him. You spotted Leon dashing towards you and threw his arms around you as a desperate attempt to keep you for leaving just yet.

“[Y/N] please, just wait…” he panted.

“Leon, I need to board the plane, I have to go-“

“Please… think about it, think about us. I know long distance is hard but it’s something we can get through together! I know we can! So please! Don’t just leave me like this…” Leon begged as he pulled away to face you. His eyes were swollen and red, you could tell he had been crying for days straight.

“You know it’s not just about us… You have your whole future ahead of you, and I have mine. Don’t let me stop you from that.”

“But I don’t see my future without you in it. Please let me be selfish for once let me ask you for us to try again.”

“You know I can’t do that Leon…”

Leon looked at you with glass eyes and let you go. “I’ll be waiting for you [Y/N]… However long it takes."

“Leon… Don't...” You cupped his cheek and caresses it gently wiping away his tears.

“Forgive me, goodbye.” You let go of Leon and kissed him one last time before turning your back on him and walking straight to the gates. You hear Leon’s sobs and it took everything in you not to look back, when all you wanted to do was run into his arms and say “I do want you back, I’m sorry for trying to leave you.” But you couldn’t. You knew deep down that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw everything away for Leon. And you knew that he knew it too.

As the plane took off, you look out of the window and silently said goodbye to the life you once had and said hello to the new life you will live.

#leon #leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon angst #leon kennedy angst #leon scott kennedy angst #leon x reader #leon x you #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #resident evil #resident evil angst

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rmd-writes · 4 months

Text

2023 writing round up

thanks for the tags @welcometololaland @reyesstrand @liminalmemories21 @jesuisici33 @hippolotamus

Rules: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones you're most excited about.

January

Your Place or Mine? Tarlos | E | 4.5k

Smutty fake dating, roommates to lovers college au follow up

Precious Love Tarlos | M | 11.6k

Five times TK thinks he doesn’t deserve love and one time he knows he does

these are the moments i cherish Tarlos | E | 1.9k

just some soft, tender husbands smut

February

the strong will never fall Tarlos | E | 1.6k

A 4x04 coda

and this is romance, let’s dance Tarlos | E | 7.7k

five times TK couldn't find the rhythm, and one time he does aka the TK can't dance fic

March

I gotta handle you just right Tarlos | E | 10.2k

Part 3 of the Tarlos gym au (in which they finally make it out of the gym)

May

to love is to undress our names Tarlos | E | 3.8k

a smutty 4x16 coda

June

The Grindr Toolbox: A Guide to Getting Railed

a trio of fics (series linked above) written for the same Grindr meet-cute au prompt:

A Helping Hand Tarlos | E | 6.7k

This is Not a Drill Schitt’s Creek | E | 7.3k

Are You Screwing with Me? firstprince | E | 6.5k

too stressed to undress Tarlos | E | 3k

an attempt at crack fic that turned into domestic fluff and smut

August

the key that unlocked me firstprince | E | 3.8k

Berlin, from Henry’s POV

September

(Un)professional Services Tarlos | E | 63k

The Tarlos professional services AU aka Lola and Rae created chaos and no one stopped us

October

get fucked (or die trying) firstprince | E | 7.5k

Alex learns the true meaning of procrastination

December

this year i will fall firstprince | E | 9.8k

tagging: @tintagel-or-cockleshells @clottedcreamfudge @everwitch-magiks @indomitable-love @inexplicablymine @sherryvalli @kiwiana-writes @stereopticons @goodways @orchidscript @cricketnationrise @cha-melodius @rosedavid @three-drink-amy @lightningboltreader and an open tag

#rmd writes #tarlos fic #911 lone star fic #RWRB fic #firstprince fic #sc fic #schitt’s creek fic

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leoramage · 7 months

Note

matchmaker of the stars plz!

⊹ masterlist ⊹ taglist ⊹ game ⊹

LOADING... COMPLETED ! THE RESULTS HAD BEEN DECODED !

the lyran mage have matched you with SEBASTIAN VETTEL!

- cancer rising conjuncting his cancer mars + lilith. he will find you physically attractive. oh god, it's going to give push and pull booktok trope 👀 this plot is thick goddamn! "run and i'll chase you till i have you" vibes. there's so much aspecting the planets between you and seb i do not know where to start! he is friends with yours and that's how you meet, seb appeals to be a playboy but you're the type not to waste time and prefer to be more stable in relationships so he sees you as a challenge to attain. he thinks having you to himself would emotionally fulfill him so you make him chase. honestly, walk him like a dog 🫦 WE LOVE GIRLBOSSES HERE - your leo sun is alone as seb does not have leo placements. regardless, your leo sun trines with his jupiter in which is a very lucky placement when it comes to money. so you might have ways to help him expound his wealth and honestly, that's a slay. GET THE BAG FR no fumbling! there's also a lot of aspects that says that you both are going to be good business partners as well! also your sun trines with his ceres which is in his 4th house, it's giving feel at home and harmonious aspect. healthy one i believe but with your pluto sitting on his 4th house, this brings so much into the table. pluto talks about death, rebirth, transformation. just like i said before and i will say again, this is a make or break aspect. it depends on the couple's maturity to work on this. if they managed to plough through, then it will be worthwhile. - your sagittarius moon is aspecting his saturn. very much marriage indicator and the fact that this is conjuncting his inum coeli which makes this even more stronger. you guys will built a house on stone and strong foundation that will last for years. seb will be very mature to you with regards to family life and will take his role as a father and husband very seriously. this man is committed and just as we witnessed, we literally see him retire because of his family. that is so manly of him and you just deserve this just like any other woman should! - i love how your virgo venus is aspecting his ascendant and his moon sitting on your 4th house. 🥹 this is so domestic because you both will be investing in the comfort of your house to the point you guys do not even have to go out if not needed or wanted. i am starting to cry! but please, do family planning! because you and his jupiter is aspecting so much fertility in this synastry chart. if you're not too fond of so much babies like five children at least, family planning helps. SO MUCH. - also, he might visit your dreams (THIS SOUNDS WEIRD I KNOW) but it's a soul bond you know? you both are going to be in the same dream even if you're sleeping next to each other. you guys are going to laugh your assess off in the morning because it's weird 😭😭 he will be most likely to ask if you saw him in your dream and he's going to be teasing you about it. - conclusion: it's giving husband and wife, marriage material and i am absolutely floored. i love domesticated relationships and laid back couples because who doesn't?

any thoughts? thank you for participating! 𔘓 congratulations on your 3k as well again, lola!

#games ! 🎮#astrology ! 🌌#formula one #formula 1 #f1 #sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel fic #sebastian vettel fanfic #sebastian vettel fanfiction

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old-lorarri · 7 months

Note

happy 3k miss lola!! congrats a lot!!

i've made a whole lot of moodboards for ppl so can i please send in an I THINK HE KNOWS?

thank youu and love you very much <33

┊. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀» ❨ cherry wine ─ grentperez ❩

@be-your-coffee-pot

#꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ 3k celly ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱

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everwitch-magiks · 1 month

Note

evie your writing trademarks are incredible conversations about sex, chefs kiss characterisation and creating a fic that feels so complete in 3k or less

Lola! Thank you!!! ♡ Using fewer words has been my mantra for a while now, and it's resulted in some short fics that I've had a lot of fun writing. I used to add more words when I edited - now I mainly take words out. Times change, eh?

#ask game #answered #fanfiction #writing

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writeforfandoms · 2 years

Text

Blue Skies

Find my masterlist and dragon ‘verse masterlist

Dieter has to film with a dragon for an upcoming movie. Of course, filming with the dragon means working with the dragon handler, too...

Okay. A couple quick notes. This does take place after the events of the Bubble, by probably a year ish. IF people want a second instalment of this, I’ll explain further there. Or you can always send me an ask/DM/etc.

Second, this version of Dieter, the way he’s written here, is very much inspired by @jazzelsaur Stay On the Screenplay, found here, which you should absolutely go read if you haven’t yet.

And lastly this is indeed a different reader from Jack’s girl in Tangled Up.

Dieter Bravo and gn!reader (no feels yet)

Warnings: Swearing, Dieter being Dieter, mentions of drugs and alcohol, directors are douchebags sometimes, dragon with an attitude. Let me know if I missed any.

Word count: 3k

Most days on set were rather boring for you. You’d gotten over being star-struck by the actors by the end of your first month with Lola. Probably 80% of the time, there wasn’t anything for you to actually do. You just had to be on set to corral Lola when necessary and make sure that she was being treated fairly.

Although she was also damn good at looking out for herself.

The biggest challenge of your day to day was that Lola could be a bit… temperamental. With some people. She had never hurt anyone, and you doubted she ever would. But some people she simply Did Not Like. And she let them know by snapping at them, or growling.

You really hoped she didn’t act like that around Dieter Bravo, or your days were going to be way more exciting than you liked.

Lola snorted next to you, lowering her head to nudge you playfully. You patted her neck almost absently.

“I know you’re bored,” you told her. “But it won’t be for long. The actor is supposed to be here any minute, and then we’ll get your scenes done for the day.”

Lola rumbled in her chest, head level with yours, but looking at something you hadn’t seen yet. You turned your head to look the same direction she was… and very nearly did a double take.

Now, like much of the world, you had seen the documentary on the making of Cliff Beasts 6. You had seen Dieter Bravo there, and in one or two other films before.

None of that prepared you for seeing him in person.

His hair was floofed precariously on his head, looking a little like a nest. He wore sunglasses still. He was wearing the gear called for by his part in the movie, an olive green jacket and dark brown pants… and his crocs. You bit your lip hard to keep from laughing at the ridiculous sight. Beside you, Lola snorted.

“Guess he’s not quite ready,” you murmured.

But it took surprisingly little time for Dieter to finish getting ready. Someone tamed his hair down a bit, he swapped the crocs for hiking boots, and he was ready. He shook himself off and then stood taller, straighter, more focused.

Well shit. Guess he was ready now.

You patted Lola’s neck and sent her on her way over to her first spot for the shot. The director was going for grandiose here - she emerged from behind a copse of trees, white and red scales gleaming brightly in the sun.

She really was beautiful, a stunning example of a dragon. She was perfectly proportioned, her coloring was unusual and striking, and she knew how to be graceful. As evidenced by the gentle curve of her neck as she stretched her head out towards Dieter, as the scene called for.

You figured the attitude just made her more perfect for the film scene.

To his credit, Dieter didn’t look nervous. Well, no moreso than his character did, with one hand outstretched to the dragon.

But the surprise of the day definitely came when Lola ducked her head under his hand, rumbling a pleased noise and nuzzling into him like a giant, affectionate cat.

Well. That was a first.

The director called for a cut there to go over the next few minutes. Lola stretched out in the sun to wait, though she kept her attention on Dieter. She seemed oddly enamored with him.

And he didn’t seem to want anything to do with her, giving her a cautious look and stepping away from her. As if he thought she would eat him, or something.

You crossed your arms over your chest, narrowing your eyes. Hmm. Now you really weren’t sure if you liked Dieter Bravo.

But the rest of the day went off without a hitch. He was brilliant when he was “on”; his body language was perfect, he never missed a cue or line, and he always seemed to know where to look. But when he was “off”... He got a little sloppy. Kept his sunglasses on when he could. Was a bit quiet, actually. Not really edging into surly, but quiet.

Maybe he was just having a bad day. Because this Dieter was very different from the one in the documentary.

Shooting wrapped for the day, and Dieter practically vanished from set. Rolling your eyes, you walked over to Lola, patting her neck.

“Ready to go rest for the night?” you asked her. She danced a little on her feet, back and forth. You laughed. “Yes, okay, food first. Come on. Let’s head back and then I’ll give you food.”

Lola crooned and started off towards her accommodations. Really, just a big area that had been set aside for her, with a small trailer for you.

At least this time they hadn’t left you to fend for yourself. Or forced you to drive an hour to get to your hotel.

It was easy to get Lola fed and settled for the night. You climbed up onto her back to stretch out and look up at the sky.

Some days you wondered how you ended up here, of all places. Some days you wondered if you would ever do anything else.

Lola snorted softly at you, craning her head around to look back at you. You chuckled and patted her side.

"Okay, sweets, I'll let you rest. I'll see you in the morning." Carefully, you slid down her side, feet landing in the soft grass. You took a moment to stretch before you headed back inside to get some shut eye.

The next day was more of the same. You standing around, bored, while Lola worked with Dieter. Their scenes were actually quite beautiful - a broken man finding a dragon and healing a part of himself he hadn't known was broken. It felt so real, so magical almost, even just watching the two of them. Lola reacted to his body language in a way she never had with anyone else, offering low sympathetic croons at his shoulders slumped in defeat, nudging her nose against his chest when he looked down.

If Dieter was surprised or freaked out by any of this, he didn't show it. He really was a professional.

They had a night scene to shoot, and the actors got a break to have some food while it got full dark and the set crew built a small fire.

Somehow, you weren't sure how exactly, you ended up standing next to Dieter, warm mug of coffee clutched in your hands.

"So you're the dragon tamer, huh?"

You blinked at him. "I mean, not really. Lola just likes attention."

He barked out a laugh and then looked a little startled at himself. "Never thought I'd be working with a dragon," he muttered.

You chuckled. "Most people don't," you agreed. "You're handling it much better than most do. A lot of the actors we work with freak out more."

Dieter snorted. "Not the weirdest shit I've seen."

You shrugged, sipping your coffee. That was really none of your business.

After a moment, he looked at you out of the corner of his eyes. His sunglasses were low on his nose, fingers tapping restlessly against his cup. "You're not gonna ask?"

"Ask what?"

"Everybody wants to know about the whole Cliff Beasts fiasco since that damn documentary."

You chuckled. You couldn't help it. "I really don't think it's any of my business. That's your life, dude."

Lola snorted, lumbering off to investigate something in the grass, and you followed her. Hopefully she hadn't found a frog. She loved frogs. She liked to play with them before she squashed them, but most people found that unsettling to watch. And the last thing you needed was someone puking on set and blaming it on your dragon.

You managed to corral her away from the frog with promises of treats later. But she let you know that she was doing this reluctantly, sulking all the way back to set with her head lowered and wings drooping at her sides.

Drama queen.

Maybe that's why she got along so well with Dieter.

Filming the scene went great. Dieter was, again, on top of his lines. Lola had no problem laying down behind him and curling around to rest her head in his lap, and Dieter stroked her head slowly, just hesitant enough before relaxing into it. The firelight illuminated the two of them beautifully, his warm eyes and curls highlighting the way the firelight turned Lola orange and crimson.

Honestly, you could have stood and watched the two of them for as long as you needed to. They were beautiful together. For the first time in a long time, you felt a pang of self-consciousness.

Filming wrapped for the night, and you and Lola left. You were both quiet.

But you did remember her treats before you both went to sleep.

The next few days were more of the same. Filming easy shots, one-sided conversations and emotional moments.

And then the director threw you all for a loop.

"You know what would make this moment perfect?" He asked, completely rhetorical, clearly excited. "Flying."

"What." You blinked at the director.

"Think about it! It would be perfect! Him flying on Lola, showing his freedom from the past and the bad memories and the grief. And Lola showing the clear trust and mutual respect." The director nodded. "I need it."

"All due respect but Lola is not a dragon you can throw a beginner rider on," you said, internally freaking out. "I don't have any of the straps or safety systems with me, since there is not supposed to be flying, and Lola doesn't like to do those shots. She's thrown people before. She's not a horse."

The director waved your concerns off. "You can fly, right?"

"What?" You blinked at him, dumbfounded.

"She's yours, or with you, or whatever. So you can fly, right?"

Oh you were going to regret this. "Yes, but–"

"Okay, so here's what we'll do. You just sit behind Dieter and make sure he doesn't fall off, and we'll edit you out later." The director beamed, pleased with his "solution".

Dieter walked over to the two of you, sunglasses back on, frowning. "Did you say flying?"

"We've got it all figured out," the director said eagerly.

"No, no way. I'm not flying. I agreed to work with a dragon, not ride one like a fucking pony." Dieter frowned more intensely at the director.

"Dieter. Buddy." The director slung an arm over Dieter's shoulders. "Remember what's at stake here."

Dieter went very still, and then resigned. You had no idea what had just happened, but it had kind of hurt your heart to watch. "Yeah. Okay."

"Great!" The director shook Dieter a little before looking at you.

And you knew what would happen if you refused. They'd shrug, ignore your warnings, and do it anyway. And someone would get hurt. Lola would be blamed. You'd probably lose your job.

Fuck. Fuck.

"I need half a day to teach him proper mounting techniques," you told the director firmly. "As well as where to hold on. That's non negotiable, or I call my home office right now."

The director held his hands up. "Sure, sure, half a day," he agreed easily. "We'll break for today, and you two can work on whatever you need. Okay?"

"Fine." You nodded once, short and sharp. And didn't give the director time to change his mind as you strode away to update Lola on this change.

"Hey, pretty girl. Change of plans."

Lola lowered her head to look at you.

"So they want a flying scene now. We are going to teach Dieter how to fly."

Lola blinked and tipped her head to one side, considering this.

"Hopefully the director won't want a lot," you fussed. "It sounds like it should be a short shot. And I'll be here, too. Since we don't have the safety straps." You had to pause and take a deep breath to contain your annoyance with the director.

Lola rumbled, nudging you with her head. She seemed in good spirits. So that was hopeful.

"Okay." You looked around. The area was pretty flat and open. Not a bad spot to practice. "Hey, Dieter!"

Dieter looked over at you, looking a little startled.

"Come on over and we'll get started." You waved him over, ignoring the looks from the crew. You had a job to do.

Dieter wandered over, licking his lips. "Okay."

"Okay. Now, I'm gonna tell you now. Lola does not normally like to be ridden. She's picky. So if I say to get off? You get off. Got it?"

"Got it." Dieter paused. "But what if we're, y'know, in the air?"

"Dieter." You put one hand on his shoulder, light but grounding, looking into his sunglasses and wishing you could see his eyes. "I am here to keep you safe. Okay? You and Lola both. I know what I'm doing. I've been working with Lola for years."

Dieter took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay," he agreed, a little quiet. But he looked steadier, less flighty.

"Okay. You stand here." You pointed to a spot on the ground. "I'll show you how it's done, show you where to put your hands and feet. Got it?"

Dieter nodded, moving to where you pointed. He still had a lot of anxious energy, fidgeting and twiddling his fingers and tapping his feet. But he watched you carefully, so you decided to not give a shit.

He was a quick study at least, picking things up and emulating you easily enough. When he could successfully get himself on and off Lola without assistance, you took a deep breath.

"Next step. I'm gonna have Lola walk around while we're up here. It's not like riding a horse, she's much bigger than a horse. It's not easy, but I won't let you fall. Okay?"

"Got it." Dieter held on a little tighter to Lola.

"Okay Lola," you called, patting her side. "Nice and easy now. Let's go for a walk."

Lola stood, briefly stretching her wings out to her sides. Dieter made a strangled noise, and you put your hands on his waist to steady him.

And then, to your surprise, Lola walked calmly around the filming area. She didn't even try any shenanigans.

She must really like Dieter.

"See? Not so bad, right?" You grinned at Dieter's back.

"Not bad," he grumbled. "Feels fuckin' weird. Feels like I should be high."

You snorted. You couldn't help it. "Better not, it's worse when you're high and the ground is that far down," you advised. You eased your grip on him, letting him get a feel for how to hold on.

"That sounds like experience." Dieter tensed up at first before he slowly relaxed into the motion.

"I've been working with Lola for a long time," you reiterated. "Pretty sure I've been offered everything under the sun by now."

Dieter nodded. Then he blurted, "I quit. Well. I'm trying to quit. Go clean."

You blinked at his back, mouth open in silent shock. Uh. What? "That's… hard to do. But admirable."

His shoulders loosened, back straightening a bit. "I'm not… I don't wanna be that guy anymore."

"That guy?" You asked it gently, giving him the easy out of pretending he hadn't heard you.

"The guy who shows up strung out. The guy who's just looking for his next high." Dieter paused for a moment. "The guy who OD's."

Ah. That. "Well, that's a good thing to avoid," you agreed. "It's a hard process. If it helps, you're doing great. I can't tell at all when you're working."

"Yeah? You're not just saying that?"

"I'm really not. I don't do the whole pandering and ass-kissing thing. Not my style." You chuckled suddenly. "Lola gives me a level of immunity."

Dieter laughed. "Gee I wonder why."

"I have never asked her to step on anyone," you said, grinning, mock-innocent.

The two of you giggled like kids for a minute, and Lola rumbled her approval. You patted her side.

"Okay, mister. You ready to go faster?"

"What? No."

"You're gonna have to fly tomorrow."

"I changed my mind."

"Don't be a baby." You patted Lola again. "Alright, let's try flying now."

Lola picked up speed, and you shuffled up behind Dieter to help hold him in place as the dragon flapped her powerful wings and leapt into the sky.

His shriek was partially muffled since he apparently refused to open his mouth. You laughed and held tight to him, legs compensating for the hold.

Lola didn't stay in the air long. Just long enough to get up above the trees. And then back down she went.

Dieter was tense as a sinner in church, locked up tight in front of you.

"Relax," you advised, scooting back a little to give him some room again. "Just go with her. Lola and I won't let you fall."

When he spoke, his voice was very small. "I need to get down."

Whoops. Too much. "Lola, let him off."

Lola bent her front legs, lowering her front half to the ground. Dieter swung one leg over and slid down her side, and was off in a flash. Poor guy.

"He did pretty good for his first flight," you murmured to Lola. "Next time will be easier."

She crooned at you, laying down again and getting comfortable. You laid down too, taking in the sunshine and giving Dieter some time.

Dieter stopped at Lola's side, looking up at you. He looked a little green around the gills still, but determined. Something had changed. Something had motivated him.

"Again," he demanded.

You sat up. And smiled.

The scene was a rousing success. They got it in one shot. One perfect shot. Dieter held on like he knew what he was doing, and barely needed you at all. Lola kept him steady.

When you watched the take later, what you noticed wasn't the framing of the shot, or the lighting, or any of that. It was the look of wonder in Dieter's eyes.

You didn't think that was acting.

Taglist: @quica-quica-quica @queridopascal @littlemisspascal @miraclesabound @ezras-channel-rat @fandom-blackhole @cannedsoupsucks @oonajaeadira @green-socks @grogusmum @withakindheartx @amneris21 @pedrostories @pjkimrn @luz-introvertida @bruxasolta @lowlights @seasonschange-butpeopledont @princessxkenobi @chaoticgeminate @thirddeadlysin @beskarprincessjenny @the-feckless-wonder @janebby @idreamofboobear @jaime1110 @recklessworry @hotchlover @snarwor @bowtiesandsandshoes @scorpio-marionette @borinquenasoy @practicalghost @beecastle @phandoz @tintinn16 @the-fic-baker @churchill356 @tentacruels @alwaysdjarin @trickstersp8 @ruhro7 @karlawithacapitalk @thesmutslut

#dieter bravo #here be dragons #dragon rancher 'verse #gn!reader

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warrior-angel · 2 years

Text

The Ghost Of You.

Summary: When you receive a invitation for a school reunion you let a friend talk you into going, forcing you to face the ghost of a man you once knew.

Author: @warrior-angel

Word Count: 3,4K

Character Pairing: Sam Winchester x Childhoodfriend!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Talk of Death,

Note: I wrote this fic for @deanwanddamons 3K Followers Challenge. It was a bit of a chaotic puzzle trying to put this all together but I hope I did it right.

Quote: Wait. There’s no such thing as unicorns?? |Troupe: Childhood Friends |Third Wheel: Ghost.

➳ All mistakes in this fic are my own!

Check out my Masterlist!

“Come on, it's going to be fun!” your eyes stuck to the words on the letter ‘Class of 2001 reunion, will you be there?’ the thick black letters having been judging you all week.

“Yeah,being in one room with the people who hated me ten years ago who are now pretending to be perfect is such a healthy bounding experience, wouldn't wanna miss that!” you exclaim walking away from the table you’d left the paper on. “It couldn't have been that bad.” Jenna had been a great friend but she was clueless when it came to your time as a teenager “Believe me Jen, if you'd been there you’d be just as skeptical about going back as me.”

There were those kinds of people that got excited when they received a letter telling them there was a high school reunion. The excitement of seeing old friends as everyone gathered and talked about the good old days. The thrill of seeing how people ended up in life only to gossip about it the next day. The head cheerleader getting pregnant after graduation, that shy kid that everyone bullied who now owned a million dollar company or that teacher everyone hated finally having left.

There were also those who groaned and cursed when they'd gotten the letter. High school was a chapter they'd rather forget, school was never kind and neither were the people. The thought of returning to that hell of a place was something they’d have nightmares about and yet they still drove out and sat in the classroom joining the laughter and the jokes as they played pretend.

It all made You wonder how’d you let your friend talk you into going but there you stood. After nearly ten years nothing had changed, a simple paint job of the bench or a tree that's grown bigger was all there was. Slowly you made your way into the building, the smell of books and crappy cafeteria food filling your nose and bringing you straight back to the 2000’s. you followed the signs taped to the wall, the direction leading you to the heart of the school and the one place you usually avoided, the gymnasium.

The place was packed with people, a few familiar faces nodding their heads in your direction in a polite ‘hey’ that you returned with a smile as you made your way to one of the tables lined in the middle. “Welcome to the reunion of the 2001 class. I'm one of the students here and I’ll be helping Mr. Peterson today. What's your name?” the girl smiled bright, clearly the teacher's pet if she was willing to spend her Saturday at the school. “Hi, Y/n Y/l/n.” you stated simply, not sure what else to do, the entire thing feeling more like a job interview instead of the happy reunion Jenna had made it sound like. The girl started searching through a stack of papers, pulling out stickers and different notes, placing them down on the table and scribbling on them before looking back up. “Your class will come together at 6C in an hour. in the meantime, grab a drink and have fun!” With a soft thanks you walked further into the gymnasium.

You thanked god for the open bar, not sure if you’d even make it to the actual reunion part of the day if it wasn't for the whiskey in your already nearly empty glass.

“oh my god, No way Y/N? Is that you?!” The familiar high-pitched voice squealing your name caught your attention, making you turn around to see the walking pink ball of excitement coming closer with a man dressed just as sparkly and bright as her. “Lola, hey.” you tried your best to fake excitement, the words coming out just as fake as the girl you spoke them too. “Oh my god, Hi!” she was leaning in hugging you tight, playing the best friend instead of the bitch of a cheerleader she used to be. “This is my husband, we got married last month.” You smiled politely, soft congrats being sent both their ways. “So Where's your other half?” She questioned looking around the room, the same bitchy grin she had when she was calling someone out back in school on her face. “I came alone, I wouldn't want to take your spotlight away, I know how attached you are to it.” you state making her speechless. She clearly had a bruised ego, her mouth opening and closing as She stuck to an excuse of needing a drink before crossing arms with her husband and walking away, leaving you on your own to down the rest of your own drink and go on your merry way again, you could at least say you tried being there.

You went into the bathroom, a quick pee break before spending the next three hours on the road back home, reminding yourself to call Jenna and make her rethink her definition of the good old days.

“Did you see the brown eyed one,”

“Why is it always the hot guys that turn out to be cops?” As you washed your hands the door got thrown open, a few girls you’d seen helping around coming inside as they gossiped. All three giggled, two of them going for a bathroom stall as the third one stood beside you checking herself out in the mirror. “Excuse me, did you just say the cops were here?” You question “Yeah,F.B.I showed up and cleared the entire gym, I’m sure no one minds looked like everyone hated this reunion thing.” She wasn’t wrong.

“I’m not surprised though, there've been three dead guys here in the past month, feds were gonna show up sometime, I’m just happy it’s two hot ones.” the toilet behind you flushed, the girl coming out with her bag on her shoulders seeming a little too excited. “Someone said one of the guys went to this school,”

“No way, you’re joking!“ You totally forgot what schoolgirls were like, not missing the loud shouting over some random guy at all. “Mia said one of the guys was on the list of students for the reunion, I forgot his name, god what was it, westlin,wingster, webster.

“Winchester?” Both girls' eyes sparkled at the right answer. “That’s it! You know him!” You used too. the memories of the man had always been in the back of your head, nagging you ever since he left town.

You pushed past the lump in your throat, excusing yourself from the girls as your feet carried you right back to the gymnasium without a second thought about it. You walked in a straight line, the door of the gym still open giving you a wide range of space to walk in, nobody near or around to speak too, no badge in sight. You hoped the girls just got it wrong, the man they thought was long gone, you’d seen the news you knew he was a wanted man, he was even presumed dead more then once yet part of you never fully believed that.

“Excuse me ma’am, this is a crime scene.” you turned around, your eyes widening, anger, joy, sadness it all came up boiling at once, He was right there.

“Sam,” you stood speechless, the skinny boy you knew ten years back having become an actual man. He was taller than you remembered, his hair longer but you knew it was him, you could never forget your best friend.

“Sammy, you found any-” you turned around at the deep voice, the green eyed hunter looking back at you, seeming as shocked as his younger brother. “Nice to know the reason you never called wasn’t your death.” You didn't know what was worse, the fact that Sam never called because he was dead or the fact that he just didn't for no reason. “Y/n I didn't know you were going to be here,”

“It's a reunion Sam, that's kind of the entire point.”

“No, I know I just” you shook your head not even wanting to hear it. For years all you wanted was a reason why, an apology but the longer you stood in the gym the more you realized he wasn't going to give you one. "You know what Sam, don't bother." You looked up at the man before you, seeing nothing more than a ghost of the man you once knew.

"You clearly don't wanna see me. I don’t know what I did to deserve that but I guess you leaving ten years ago was a clear sign of rejection that I should have taken more seriously."

"It's not that simple ," he states,trying to talk his way out of it. "Yeah Sam,think it is that simple." you shake your head, already regretting even going to the gym when you’d heard he was at the school. You were ready to walk away from both the boys and leave it all behind like you should have done ten years back and you would have, you are ready to walk right past your old friend and leave him, but he reached out for you giving you no choice but to stop. “Let me go,”

“Let me explain?” he questioned. “Just hear me out.”

“Sam let me go,” you struggle to get your arm back, his fingers not losing any of the grib he had but making sure he wasn’t hurting you. “Please Y/n, I’ll explain everything just. just meet me later.” he tried to keep his voice low, trying to not to upset you anymore then he already had.

“What motel,” you mutter, still giving in to the pull he had on you. “Britters sunrise. room 93.”

The familiar 1967 black Chevrolet Impala stood parked in the back of the parking lot. you weren't sure why’d you even come to the motel, part of you still hoping to get that apology you wanted back in high school.

your every muscle was screaming in protest as you walked closer to the right room. You swallowed your fears by putting up a wall to protect yourself as you knocked loud and clear, three beats and a second of silence before knocking a fourth time. It was a safety signal you and Sam had back in high school so he knew it was you who came to his door and you still did it without thinking twice.

The door opened, the eyes of an old friend meeting yours hitting you in a wave of memories. “You came,” Sam stepped aside as he led you into the room. Dean sat on one of the beds, keeping to himself as he cleaned a bunch of his guns like it was a normal.

You hadn’t seen their faces in ten years but It was like you were staring at a fragment of the boy you used to steal liquor with as you pretended that life was normal, the same guy who acted like a big brother when it came to your well being. “What are you doing here,” you choked out, turning to look at Sam who was standing before the crappy motel table.

“Dean and I thought there was a case here,” he mutters.

“you can spot anything supernatural from miles away, you knew beforehand this job was going to give you jack, so why are you really here?” you ask again knowing that even though he sometimes hated his job, he was good at it. "I just wanna talk."

“You could have called.”

you didn't wanna lie to yourself, you missed him but that didn't mean you were going to pretend nothing happened just because he looked at you with sad puppy eyes. “You know how to find people, I'm sure you could have figured out where I was if you wanted to.”

“I should have looked for you, I shouldn’t even have left. I’d never forgiven myself for that, for putting you through that.” regret was written over his entire face, his eyes never leaving yours, the look in them told you he spoke nothing but the truth even when he struggled to speak the words he so desperately needed to tell you.

“I stood up against the kids in school, I even stood up against your dad when he called you out for being a smart kid and all I got in return was you leaving town,” tears glazed over your eyes as you spoke, “What happened to the boy who told me the truth because he needed a friend, the guy whose dream was to go to college or the man who said he’d never leave.” tears escape as your voice breaks. “All I see now is the ghost of a guy I thought was dead.”

“Y/n, I am so Sorry,” It’s all you wanted, an apology for putting you through hell. Tears clouded your eyes as you stepped forwards, wrapping your hands around his waist as you held him tight.

At first Sam was unsure, taking a second to realize what you were doing, holding him close instead of rejecting him like he feared you would, but once he understood the need for closure, the feeling of anger and tiredness from everything being pushed away for so long he thrusted his arms around your body. You breathed in deeply trying to stop the tears from coming down, the emotions and every word that were left unspoken, the things that both of you wanted to say but didnt know how all drowned away in the moment.

“I’m still pissed.” you mutter as you pull black slightly.

“You thought we were dead?” Dean asked, making your head turn to the forgotten brother on the other side of the room. “Yeah, I did.” His brows raised an invitation for you to elaborate on the subject. “The explosion at the Colorado police station, February 2008. Eleven people died, nine cops and two fugitives. I read that Henrikson had the Winchesters in custody, I just put two and two together.”

“You kept tabs on us.” You walked over to the bed Dean was sitting on as you nodded. The man kept a close eye on you as You reached out to grab one of the guns he’d just cleaned, the weapon laying in your hand heavily. “What are you doing?” you looked at Sam, the man giving you a confused look, not seeming to fully trust you with a gun in your hands.

You pushed the magazine release and pulled it out to check if it was full before pushing it back up the clip and pulling the slide, clicking the safety off and then back on. “Son of a bitch,” you couldn’t help but smile at Dean's reaction. “I know more than you think.” you state putting the gun back down. “Hunting, weapons Ghosts,vampires,werewolves, fairies, unicorns, all that jazz."

"Yeah, does aren't real."

"Wait. There’s no such thing as unicorns?” Dean shook his head as you cursed out loud, the only mythical creature you read about over the years and somewhat would appreciate turning out to be fake. "Angel's, Demon’s but a freaking unicorn is too much to ask?” You could see the grin on both men's faces, an annoyed scoff coming from you as you shook your head “Don't you laugh at me, what would you think when you spent the past ten years reading every book and article there is and believing it because someone skipped town before he could explain the details.” As the words left your mouth you realized what you said, your eyes going back to those of Sam, a silent apology of your own being sent his way.

“You’re right, I did leave. Dad, he found out about Stanford and we got into a big fight. He told me that if I walked out I shouldnt come-”

“You got into Stanford?” you ask, walking over to the table he was leaning against not even letting him finish. “I did, yeah. I went to school for a while but then-”

“The Family business?” Sam nodded his head, not having to tell you the details to know you’d understand him. You knew that no matter how badly he wanted to have something normal, the guy would drop it all for his family, especially when it came to Dean.

“I guess that's what happens when you know the truth” you sigh, sitting yourself down into one of the chairs. “No matter how normal of a life you try to live, something always pulls you back to the supernatural.”

“You sound like you speak from experience,” you look over at Dean, his guns being put in the bag as he cleaned everything up. “I didn't exactly choose to study mythology because it was such an exciting subject.” you joke. “It came in handy, that and a few hours at the gun range.” you mumble turning your eyes to the ground. “You became a hunter?” Dean questioned, brows raised both brothers there full attention on you.

“No that's your thing, I’m just a walking encyclopedia for Lore and information, the gun thing is just a safety precaution that I rarely use,” You look between both brothers not sure why they are so surprised about it all while it was one of them that introduced you to that world in the first place. “We are more like one another than you boys think, Same song, different verse. that kind of thing.” A light chuckle leaves you at the realization, even after ten years apart you still ended up on the same side of the crossroad, both living on the edge of trying to be normal but still fighting against what goes bumping in the night.

“So what’s next? What happens when I leave this room?” Your eyes went to Sam, knowing that your issues weren’t just forgiven and forgotten but also knowing you weren’t willing to let him leave again. “We could use somebody with your brains at the bunker, it would be nice to have one else on the road with us." Dean said, a grin on his face at the idea. “You're asking me to drop my life back in Springfield to read a few books because you need the extra help?”

“Dean you can't ask that of her,” Sam and Dean their voices blocked out as

your own mind went to the possibility of saying yes.

You’d never really thought about being on the road or being more than just somebody who had information, the idea had always seemed scary but being out there with Sam and Dean seemed safe, it seemed right. You had lost Sam once and you weren't planning on losing him again.

“Do I get my own room in this bunker?” Both boys shut their mouths, Dean giving you a grin as Sam looked shocked.

“I could handle being around Sam in high school and seeing you out on the parking lot but a girl needs her privacy, and I have a feeling I'll be wanting that if I spend hours on the road with the two of you.”

“Whatever you need, Pick and choose,”

“What do you say Sam, think you could handle someone outsmarting you?” you joke making him nod his head.

“I think I'll be fine.” All of you smiled at the newly found course, never having expected the day to end with you leaving everything behind to skip town with the two, but you knew this was the right choice.

“We found a case in Iowa” Dean states nodding towards the computer sitting on the motel table. “Two dead teens in a warehouse, one of their friends said they got taken by a scientist.” You nod your head, taking the computer to turn it in your own direction. “Scientists have a habit of breaking and entering old buildings, if something goes wrong people won't mind the damage being done to that building.” you state eyes stuck on the words on screen. “This guy was named David Joston,” Sam pointed out, rounding the table to point at the black and white picture on screen. “September 1840” you mumble, taking in the date. “What do you say kid?” you look between both boys, a shiver of excitement running down your spine at the thrill of the hunting being right within your reach. “Let's go get Casper the ghost,” you all smiled at your words, the laptop being shut as the boys got ready to get out on the road again. Maybe going to a school reunion hadn't been such a bad idea after all.

#deanwanddamons3Kfollowerschallenge #Sam Winchester x Childhoodfriend!reader #Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #Reader insert #Supernatural #Spn #writing challenge #Sam Winchester x Y/n #Female Reader #Sam Winchester One Shot #Winchesters #sam winchester x reader #warrior-angel

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brokenboysfrombrokenhomes · 2 years

Text

Everyone is asleep in the house

Wrote this on Tuesday, 24.05.22, as a comfort fic. This is canon compliant if you will (so far, nothing has contradicted it). Thank you to @rycbarmerlin for beta-reading this fic! Hope you all enjoy some of the comfort while we're still early in this SL. (it is in some ways a response to a prompt sent by @no-i-cant-decide last march: "kisses as a promise". I set out to write a short fic. Ended up with these 3k words.)

___

This is night time, everyone is asleep in the house. The lights are off, only a few strays of light from the street give shadows to the furniture in the bedroom. The shadows aren't scary. He knows it's his clothes in a pile on that chair, and frames on the dresser, and a jacket hanging off the handle of that closet.

This is night time, he is not asleep but everyone is. Lexi is in her sparkly bedroom, sound asleep after the story he told her. Callum is asleep on the couch, he saw him just minutes ago after getting a glass of water from the kitchen. All is well, all is calm and quiet.

This is night time and it's the worst time. Everyone is asleep but him. It's been going on for weeks, if not months. He's managed to catch some sleep here and there. Booze helped for a while.

But having Callum on the couch means no booze. He's willing to go nights without sleep as long as Callum is on the couch. Because if he is on the couch, he is in his life. And that's all that matters.

The divorce is through. Having no shared belongings and being married barely more than a year makes it easy and fast. Not painless but what is a bit more pain? So the divorce is through - has been for a few weeks. They signed the papers, on speaking terms.

It wasn't the case at first. When it all exploded and everyone was talking about how he cheated. Callum just left. He didn't skip town like that one time. Being a police officer makes that hard, but he made a request for housing at the police station and was given a place quickly. Divorcing puts your file on top of the list apparently.

He cut Ben out of his life, avoided him on the street, not answering his calls, nor his texts. Only allowed Lexi and Lola in his life some mornings for breakfast or an icecream on some weekends. He had the divorce papers delivered to their- Ben's place.

Then one morning, Lexi found him at the police station. She'd run away from the school in tears. She hadn't seen Ben in weeks and she was worried. Callum had called Lola then. It had been their agreement not to mention Ben. For the first time, he asked her how he's been.

"Drinking." was her answer.

He'd been downing bottles days and nights and until he sobered up and took care of himself, he wasn't to see Lexi. Lola admitted cutting him off from his daughter wasn't the thing to do but he'd yelled at her one too many times. Callum reassured her that an absent parent was better than a drinking and yelling one. He talked from experience.

From then on, he checked on Ben. From afar at first, and then in person, knocking on his door that Ben never answered. Callum knew he would eventually open the door because the takeaway he was leaving him was gone.

One day, he knocked. Left the takeaway on the ground. Knocked again. As per usual. But this time, he didn't leave. He sat down. He waited a long hour. The takeaway was cold but it'd still be food Ben could eat. Another half hour ticked by. He didn't get up. He'd stay there until Ben opened the door and he could see at least a glimpse of him. Knowing he was alive was one thing, seeing it with his own eyes was another.

Callum wasn't sure it really was Ben who opened the door. Maybe the shadow of Ben, but not the Ben he knew nor the one he fell in love with. Maybe a part of the Ben that he divorced. Definitely not a whole human person, living and breathing.

Ben was surprised to see him. To the point he stopped in his tracks, half away bent to retrieve the takeaway.

"Hello." was all Callum could say with a weak wave of his hand. He couldn't know for sure Ben had his hearing aid on from his sitting on the floor.

Ben took the takeaway and moved to close the door. "Wait!"

Ben stopped in his tracks, looking at Callum expectantly. Maybe waiting for his lecture.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing." He smiled.

Ben nodded and closed the door.

Callum had expected anger. Had expected Ben to snap back at him with snarky remarks. The silence hurt. He hadn't been ready for that.

He kept on delivering takeaway, and kept on waiting as long as he could. On days he couldn't stay long, he left a note. "Tell me if you want something else." "The lady has been giving free deserts." "It's Italian today, I hope that's okay. The Chinese was closed today." "The Chinese is still closed, so it's Italian again." "I found a new Thai place."

Ben had cheated on him. He still felt resentment over that, and sadness from losing the human being that had helped him be himself. But the anger had left his body the minute he had seen the shadow of Ben.

There was something seriously wrong.

Lexi deserved a dad, Lola had too much on her plate, Jay had given up and stood up for Callum in the break up. So, if no one was going to make that happen, then he would. For Lexi's sake. And for the sake of the person he once knew and loved.

"I haven't had a drink in a week." is what Ben tells him one day as he leaves.

"Okay." is what Callum replies with a smile. "The Thai okay ?"

"Wouldn't mind some basic fish n chips for once."

"Will do."

They go from small talk like this to asking about one another's day. Callum has more to say, having a job. Ben listens. He does tell Callum stuff from his days: cleaning up a room, building up furniture left from the divorce. He doesn't mention the divorce but they both know.

One day Ben finally asks about Lexi. He doesn't need to explain he couldn't bear to have second hand news until he felt okay about seeing her in a near future. So, Callum relays to Lola how Ben has been doing and she sets up an afternoon for Lexi and Ben.

Callum hears from Lexi that Ben smiled and laughed, even. She cries in Callum's arms because it had been so long.

Ben looks slightly tired the next day. Seeing Lexi was a reminder of his fuck ups. Staying in and building up the home he was meant to share with her meant time slowed down and days blurred into one another. But seeing how she had grown, changed, even just in the weeks since Lola had stopped coming around with Lexi, had unsettled him. He needed to be a better dad, like he'd promised himself years ago. Yet, he'd failed. Big time. Once more.

Callum simply puts his hand on his shoulder to offer some comfort. Ben places his hand on top of his. It's the first time they touch in months. They stay like this for a moment. Then Callum leaves. "See you tomorrow." And Ben smiles. Weakly, but it's still a smile.

From that day on, physical touches go from a hand to the shoulder to a hug every once in a while. Just a quick hug when they say goodbye. But a hug nonetheless. Ben will take anything that Callum offers him. Small things like takeaway, bigger things like his time and his smiles. He won't ask for more, he asked for too much before. He won't do it again.

One day, he even offers Callum to come in. He offers, he doesn't ask. But Callum is already late. He just smiles and waves him away. Another day. He'll see him tomorrow.

He spends the day repainting the master bedroom. He's done the kitchen, Lexi's bedroom, the living room and the bathroom. Painting, moving furniture around until he was satisfied. The cabinets aren't all full, the windows still need curtains, and some walls look empty. But he is satisfied with what he has managed to do.

It isn't much, it's still more than he ever had. It's a home. His home. It will be Lexi's soon. It should have been earlier but he is not to dwell on the past. It has happened and he cannot change it. However, he can act differently now and that is what he is doing. Who would have thought he'd apply life advice from a sexual health clinic theparist.

After one last coat of paint, he sets up his bed for the night in Lexi's room. He's surrounded by glitter, sparkles and pink. He chose it all for her at the store. Couldn't bear to go with her. Outings with just her aren't something he can stomach yet. For now, Lola and Lexi. Ice cream, waffles, whatever she wants. And a park. A walk.

He doesn't sleep. His hearing aid is by his phone on the floor. He cannot sleep in Lexi's bed, he's too big, so he got his inflatable mattress out. His heart had stopped for a moment when he'd seen it in the room. But he grounded himself in all the ways the room had changed. Breathed deeply. Reminded himself he was safe, alone, in his home.

He's not exactly completely calm but he is in bed, his heartbeat is within normal range, and he breathes ok. He'll get through this. He'll see Callum in the morning.

He doesn't know how he found places open in the morning to get him takeaways but he hasn't asked and he won't. Not yet. He'll tease him later.

He's woken up by the bell.

Freshly out of bed, he opens the door to the sight of a smiling Callum, takeaway in hand.

He invites him in.

They talk, laugh, smile. Like old times.

And not.

Ben's skin is ashy from not going out much. He has lost weight, although he has gained some since Callum has been bringing him food. But one meal a day isn't enough to keep a lot of meat on his bones.

He doesn't mention not sleeping at nights and Callum doesn't ask if he's seeing any medical professional. They stay away from those topics, as they stay away from anything regarding their romantic lives.

"I'm going back to work in the garage."

Callum congratulates him, again with such a soft smile.

Ben's never stopped loving him. But this softness in Callum even thought he's been through so much because of him makes Ben fall in love again, and again, and again.

"It's time I put those muscles to work!"

The laughs he gets out of Callum are what keeps him going.

So he goes to the garage. He hasn't forgotten anything but his body isn't used to it anymore. He is so tired at the end of the day that he sleeps. He sleeps as soon as his head hits the pillow.

It's not a good sleep.

He wakes up several times from nightmares. He's covered in sweat when the bell lights up and he doesn't have time to do anything about it.

He opens the door and Callum is greeted with the sight of a sweaty, sleepy Ben.

"Are you okay?" Of course he worries right away.

Ben tries to smile and hide it but he can't. He sighs, opens the door and lets Callum in.

And Callum doesn't need to be told twice. He comes in and walks up to the kitchen to get some breakfast ready. Until he remembers it's not his home anymore. Ben just shakes his head before sitting in an armchair. "Go ahead." He says, his voice barely audible to Callum and definitely not to him. He gets up again to get his hearing aid but Callum signs him to stay put, he'll get it.

And he does. He gets the bed sheets as well and starts a load with them.

As sound comes back in, Ben hears the washing machine. He turns abruptly to Callum "What have you done?"

"Just a load."

"I would have done that."

"I know. Just wanted to help. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm an ass."

"You are." He could flirt but he doesn't. Ben's not in any state to be flirted with.

Callum sets up the coffee filled mugs on the table along with some toasts. Ben gets up and joins him.

They talk. About sleepless nights and therapy, that's all Ben can bear to talk about. But it's a whole lot more than he could just weeks ago.

They go on like this for a few more weeks, Callum having breakfast before getting to work. Seeing Lexi after school and then having her over for a night.

It turns into a routine.

Breakfast with Callum, working in the garage, taking care of Lexi on weekdays, and then sleepless nights.

One evening, Lexi asks if Callum can come over for dinner. So Ben invites him. Callum agrees.

He shouldn't, really. Ben is clearly doing better, Lexi is happy. He can go back to his life and let Ben build his own.

But what life does he have to go back to. Evenings are spent watching his TV, mindlessly, when he's not working late on cases. His friends are coworkers, so not really his friends.

He accepts Ben's offer with a smile. It's going to be one evening. Everything will be fine. Afterall, Ben can do with company. He could do with it as well. It makes sense.

That one evening turns into a weekly habit. Turn into sleeping on the couch when it's too late to go home. It's never really too late to go home but after that one night when it truly was, the morning after with Lexi was what he'd always wanted. So he takes advantage of Lexi asking if he's staying and Ben offering the couch.

And that's where he is as Ben walks past and back to his bedroom.

He'd heard him move around in bed before getting up and getting a glass of water. He has never seen the face of one alcoholic beverage in this house. He never checked but he trusted Ben on that. His behaviour showed it in any case.

He hears him move around in bed some more. He can't sleep. They'd talked about that. Sleeping pills are on the nightstand, he knows because he's seen them. But Ben rarely ever takes them. He doesn't want one more addiction.

For all the nights he's stayed on this couch, he's never once gotten up to talk to Ben. He's wanted to. But he's always stayed away: better for the both of them.

But Ben had been tense that evening. Leg shaking more than usual. Fingers fidgeting with everything and anything.

So Callum gets up and walks up to the bedroom door. He can hear quick, shaky breaths. He knocks softly.

Ben doesn't reply right away but when he does finally, it's with a weak grunt.

Callum takes it as an agreement for him to come in.

Ben is shaking on the bed.

Callum takes the few steps that separate them. He stands idle by the bed, wondering if he should get closer to him or not.

Ben extends a hand, so he takes it and sits down beside him.

They stay like that for a moment but the shaking doesn't stop. So Callum gently rolls Ben over on his other side.

"Is it okay to hug you?"

Ben can only nod.

He settles behind Ben and brings him close to his chest. He nestles his face in the crook of Ben's neck, breathing his smell for the first time in a long while. It's not the right moment to be thinking about that but he can't help himself.

Ben's sudden sobs shakes him out of his thoughts. He holds him closer, as close as humanly possible and lets him cry.

When the sobs start to subside, he turns around and spots some tissues. He reaches for them and gives them to Ben. He accepts them silently and blows his nose. He's still shaking and still heaving, but at least, he's no longer full on sobbing.

One hand splayed over Ben's heart, Callum presses his chest against Ben's back, and he slows down his own breathing to try and get Ben's to slow down as well.

In and out. In and out. In and out.

It takes a little while, but Ben finally calms down. Callum would stay there the entire night if it was needed.

Their breathing is slow and measured. Callum feels heavy with sleep, having been focused intensely on Ben for the past couple of hours. And he can feel Ben's close to falling asleep as well.

Neither of them talk and both of them fall asleep in that position.

They wake up as the sun rises.

Foggy with sleep, they still manage to talk.

Softly, slowly, Ben's voice tells the story of that night.

Callum lets him talk. He listens intently. His only reaction is to tighten his hold on Ben when he can feel him starting to cry again.

He touches his forehead to Ben's shoulder. "I'm sorry." is all he says. There are many more words swimming around in his head. He can imagine a handful of scenarios of what he wants to do to Lewis who's still working at the Albert. But he keeps them to himself.

He leaves one kiss on Ben's shoulder. And Ben shudders.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-."

"No, it's okay." Ben cuts him off. "More than okay... It's just been so long."

Callum leaves another kiss. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Ben chuckles, slightly moving away, feeling the shame creeping back. "You've been there plenty."

Callum's hold loosens, leaving Ben the possibility of leaving but he doesn't. He just stays further away than he's been.

Callum turns Ben's head to face him. "I promise to be there as much as you need me."

#ballum #eastenders #ben mitchell #callum highway #benway #ben x callum #fic #ficlet #rape sl #no actual rape mention

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