#lmao i'm in full mourning right now
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my phone fell, love lmao i posted it by accident ^^ @tozakimo
strawberry kisses
farmer!momo x baker!reader | fluff, smut | men dni!
it's been an exhausting year, especially for you. you just graduated from your university, settled for a corporate job somewhere in the bustling and loud city of tokyo. it wasn't even related to your degree, for fucks sake, but you settled for it as it paid off really well.
but then, you got another offer later during the year. working for a small bakery at night just across your apartment. it was quiet, healing, with the smell of pastry and coffee pungent in the air— it was surely something you can't compare with anything.
your corporate job got too heavy, and it got to the point that it wasn't working well anymore. you kept your job at the bakery, now working full time.
unfortunately, before november came, the bakery shut down because of unprecedented reasons; which, the owner died of oldness, which you mourned as ms. sato was the kindest person to ever teach you about anything you know about baking now, she was like a second mother, one that you held really dear to your heart.
late november, your sister, mina, went to your apartment in tokyo.
all primed and cut into the right places, mina knocks on your door, three times, "y/n! open this goddamn door!" she shouted, and you revealed yourself, wrapped around a blanket, eyes puffed with tears. "oh," she hugs you immediately, taking your head to lay on her neck as you hugged her back. "tokyo must've been so unkind to you, huh?"
"i-it is," you sobbed as she held you in her arms. "i wanna go home, mina."
"well," she chuckles, rubbing your back in comfort and warmth. "i wouldn't be here if i didn't take you home."
it was such a pleasant feeling; taking the train home to kobe, the regret and awfulness of the big city of tokyo being transported away from you. mina was kind enough to lend you the window seat, which you really enjoyed.
mina taps you on the hand, "hey," she smiled. "it's sana's birthday in a few days..."
"oh! really?" you perked up at the mention of her girlfriend's name. "what do you plan to do?"
"nothing that big," she chuckles, her head hanging down and her hands fiddling with the rings on her fingers. "i bought a ring already, though."
"what!?" you exclaimed, hands on your mouth, trying to make yourself as shocked as you looked. "i mean, you've known each other for what... like 6 years already? i'm glad for you two."
mina sighs, "i know you are," she said. "but i just don't know how to ask her, you know? i'm not the biggest romantic out there. she is. but she's so busy with the farm and all; i know momo's there to help her but i just don't want to add to her worry if i ever ask h-"
"mina," you held your sister by the shoulders and made her look at you. "i'm not really close with sana but i know she loves you. trust me, she's been waiting for you to pop the question."
"well," she blushes. "could you help me?"
"of course," you chuckled at her. "we have like... 20 more days. so no pressure. let's just get home first, hm?"
"yeah," mina sighs as she lies back on her seat. "you know, i'd like you to meet her best friend, though." mina chuckled. "momo. such a lovely person. the girl literally leaves a couple of her fruits for us when she supplies the flour."
you smiled, imagining what she was like, how she was like, going into your family bakery back home. "she sounds delightful."
the next day, you got your being up to go and operate the family bakery, just a few streets away from your home. you went in with mina and briefed you about the different pastries that they still serve. you added a little bit of yours, but you let it out for a while, not confident enough to put it on the pastry shelves yet.
you sighed, taking a break from kneading, baking, mixing, and carrying the goods. it's around 6 'o clock am, just an hour before the bakery opens. mina was cleaning up the dining area thoroughly, as her jazz music blasted in the background.
the bell of the entrance rings, and you jolt up, "we're not yet ope-"
"oh," the woman chuckled, bags of flour on her toned shoulders, carried by muscled biceps. mina comes to lead the woman to the kitchen, where she puts down the flour on the supply area. "um," she says. "i-i need to get the fruits, hold on."
the woman rushes outside, and you stare at her as she goes to her truck.
"that's momo," mina chuckled at your obvious flush. it wasn't one of attraction, but one of embarrassment. you should've greeted her better. "she's cute isn't she?"
she looked delightful as she sounds.
"here," momo drops the fruits on the counter, bunched up in a plastic bag. "i- um, gotta go, mina."
"no, wait," you chuckled at her obvious shyness, her timidness making her cuter than she already was. "sit for a little while. i didn't greet you well so, wait-" you smiled at her as she sat on one of the seats in the dining area. you rushed to the baking area, where you stored the eclairs that you made, pulled out the little box, and stored it for her.
"here," you handed the box of eclairs to her. "just a little trade for the fruits you got us."
she smiles, "thank you," she bowed. "are you new here?"
"oh," you chuckled as you reached out your hand, urging her to shake hands with you. "i'm y/n. mina's sister."
she gently takes your hand, "momo," she says, looking into your eyes in an obvious flush as she spoke. "i- um, i'm mina's flour supplier."
"well, she told me already," you retracted your hand from her hold, but you admit, that was the greatest handshake of your life. she stands, putting the chair back on its old position. "see you around, i guess?"
"yeah, um," she looks down on her shoes as she takes the box of eclairs. "see you around, y/n."
momo leaves shortly after, leaves you in a haze, and mina nudges at you as she sees that little interaction when she is cleaning up the counter.
she laughs, "can't believe i saw two losers interacting with each other, oh my god," she chuckles. "i'm definitely going to ask sana to set you two up on a date because neither of you are going to do it."
"is she really that fucking buff?" you asked, albeit randomly.
"jesus," mina laughs further. "you stared at her arms the whole time?"
"damn," you palmed your face in the realization. "well it was out. if it had eyes, it'll be looking at me. but she's cute."
"can't believe that my sister thirsted in front of me," mina sighed. "anyways, she lives just right beside sana's. if you wanna know that sort of thing."
well, it's not useless, you thought. "i'm not some creep... i don't just want to show up at her door."
mina laughs as she arranges the trays of pastries ready to be lined up at the pastry shelves, "trust me, she wants you to."
the next day, you and mina, with her girlfriend, came and visited sana's farm, somewhere up the countryside. sana grew vines of grapes, with her wine distillery up the hill.
as you went up the hill, you saw various other fruits, and it reminded you of what momo supplies to the bakery everyday. you've made a jam out of the strawberries she gave, and it was as red as what you're seeing now.
"ah, momo!" sana calls out, waving to the truck that was driving by.
"hey!" momo stopped the truck, coming down from it. you looked in her direction; her hair tied up into a nice bun, her black tank top, her worn out cargo pants, and some boots. god. she looks like she's straight out of your dream. "the deliveries this day was so fucking many-" she mumbles and suddenly stops as you made your way to mina's side. "oh, hi," she greets, in a small tone. "y/n, right?"
"yeah," you smiled. "the strawberries there," you pointed. "are they yours?"
"oh," she scratched her nape, her cheeks at an obvious blush. "yeah- um, yeah it's mine."
"we'll head to the distillery for a while," sana chuckles as she held mina's hand. "take it from here, momo. she hasn't seen your side of the place."
"sana," she sighs. "alright. okay. i'll go take care of it."
you chuckled, "so, strawberries," you said. "how come they're so plump here? they're beautiful."
"well," she went to your side as you viewed the row of freshly grown strawberries. "it's all grown naturally. no pesticides or anything, i make sure that even the soil's clean."
"oh, wow," you commented. "i made a jam out of the strawberries you've been giving us," you said. "it's the yummiest ones. you want to have some?"
"oh, of course," she smiles. you can't help but melt. "the eclairs were so good though," she commented. "how come you aren't selling them yet?"
"i- um," you went silent for a second. "i'm not that confident yet with how it can turn out, you know. that's the last recipe that i learned from someone."
"well," she sighs. "i totally understand. i'll wait for those, though!"
you smiled at her. "so," you looked at her. "what do you do besides farming, momo?"
"i- um," she looks down on her shoes once more, trying to hide her obviously red face. "play drums at the local bar."
"no way!" you said, exclaiming in amusement. "wow," you commented on her. "you seem so chill. didn't expect that you're one."
"well," she chuckled. "it's a jazz bar. nothing too hardcore."
"what do you mean nothing too hardcore?" you chuckled once more, and as you two progress in talking, the more you get amazed at how incredibly delightful this woman was. "i love jazz. where do you play? i wanna go drop by."
"santorini's," she says. "it's sana's bar, actually."
"that friend of yours is one big businesswoman here, huh," you commented. "well, she's perfect with mina."
"couldn't agree more," she says. "when your sister came to her life, it was like she had forgiven anything. i mean, i came late to an invitation once and she just said 'it's okay,' like it's the most normal thing. i guess your sister really did put a bunch of ice on her head to calm her down."
you laughed loudly, astounded by the way she spoke, "ah, you're so..."
"what?" she asks.
"nothing," you chuckled. "so," you clasped your hands at your back. "will you drop by us tomorrow, too?"
"well," she blushed. "of course. i have to deliver mina's orders."
"okay," you smiled. "you don't have to be so uptight around me, you know?"
"i- um-" momo stuttered as you held her hand.
"see," you had a tight grip around her hand, letting her feel the coldness of it against her warm ones. "you're kinda- too cute for this."
it was a thursday, and you went to the bakery right after you took your workout, a new thing that you've been wanting to do.
well, you didn't have time to change, so you baked in your workout outfit, just switching the shirt into a spare, tight, tank top. the apron was clearly useless now, probably.
momo came into the kitchen while you were taking out the freshly baked buns, one that was baking underneath the bigger oven so you had to lean down.
"oh, careful." momo notes as she passes by you. she doesn't forget the sight. you bent down like that waiting for her to get over. god. it made momo go a little crazy while she went and dropped the flour at its usual spot in the bakery supply area. she let herself take that in for a while as she sat down, closing her eyes, feeling an uncomfortable state between her legs.
"momo?" you called out to her, and you went to the supply area, where you found her just.. there. "oh," you quickly went to get some water, as she stared a little too much on your backside on those purple leggings. "here," you said, cutting her out of her daze as you handed her some water. "tough day?"
"very," she said, gulping down the water with a couple of sips. you reached out to a certain drawer in the supply area, your perfectly shaped glutes on display for her. well, fuck. you handed over the strawberry jam to her. "oh, is this it?"
"yeah," you smiled. "try it out. just get a sourdough at the shelves. don't worry, i'll pay for it."
"nope, i have plenty of those at home," she chuckled as she stood up. "i- um," she stutters once more. "are you still going? i'm playing at saturday."
"oh," you smiled, wide enough to compete with the sun. "of course, momo. wouldn't miss that."
"great!" she smiles in happiness, clutching the strawberry jam next to her.
"i'll be cheering for you," you chuckled as you put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it. "good luck!"
she chuckled. "yeah, thanks."
saturday came by fast.
you hung out with momo last night at the market fair, along with mina and sana, who went around the carnival hand in hand.
you had your own delight with momo, who was chill at the carnival games, her winning at several ones, surprisingly as you two ate several snacks on the way. she won a big my melody plushie, which you will forever be thankful for.
you just like spending time with her. she has such immense warmth, though quite timid and shy sometimes, but she was beautiful in a way that you wanted to be consumed by her.
"god," you sigh against your bed, trying to settle into an outfit. "fuck."
"hey," mina says, her body leaning against the doorway. "having trouble?"
"yeah," you sighed as you sat up, and mina made her way to sit with you. "i've been struggling to find an outfit. i don't want something too fitting, too unrevealing, too tight, too everything- i just want something perfect for the night, mina."
mina laughs as she made way to your closet, and pulls out a specific dress. it was a black, suede, champagne dress with its straps thin just to hold the dress together.
"mina, you're a fucking genius," you sighed in comfort as you chuckled, taking the dress from mina's hands. "this is perfect, thank you."
mina laughs, "i know it is. date with momo?"
"hm, kinda like that. i'm seeing her play," you chuckled. "what about you? staying for the night?"
"i'll be at sana's," mina sighs. "she's not having the best time right now..."
"oh, like..." you stopped for a moment, understanding that her girlfriend was sick.
"she's been having a bad fever for the past few days." mina sighs.
"well," you sighed as well, but you remembered something. "i had some extra soup i made a few hours ago," you said. "maybe that could help her."
"you're a lifesaver," mina sighs in relief. "why'd you make it though?"
"just wanted something warm," you giggled. "anyways, i'll be leaving at 7."
"yeah, no worries," mina smiles. "good luck with your date!"
you arrived at the bar, a little past 7pm, perfectly in time in momo's set.
the previous band had only finished playing as you sat right in front, ordering a martini as the first drink of the night.
momo's band comes in as the dim light slowly gets stronger, you catch a sight of momo; in her signature tank top, arms out, with her pants, and a flannel tightly wrapping around the waistband of it. god. she looks so good.
the drums were, unusually, right on front and on the side, just a little beside you and she says 'hi,' with a little smile, her drumstick stuck to her fingers.
she was so cute, but then, she went on to test the tone of the drums, and it sounded great. but god, the way her muscles flexed as she took the drums to sound was so tempting that you just wanted to pull her out of the band and take her home.
but then, she catches a little glance at you again, as she sees you walk to the bathroom. she doesn't miss the subtle appearance of your cleavage, the way that the dress hugged your body so divine, and the way that your ass was so curved in it. it drove her fucking crazy.
you made your way back to your seat, as momo started the song with her band. you got another drink of the same kind.
they played really well, a couple of jazz hits, some requests, and some originals from their band were played.
momo looked at you from the crowd the whole time. you were so beautiful and irresistible in that fucking dress, that she wants to make you tell her to rip it off.
a few songs later, momo's band takes a bow, and the lights dim once more as a sign that their set was finished.
you wait for her silently at your table, now ordering your fourth drink of the night.
"hey," someone taps your shoulder from the back. "how was it?"
you saw momo in all of her glory, her flannel now covering her bare arms. she sits beside you, looking you in the eye.
"you're so great," you said. "you were so good at playing the drums!"
"well," she chuckled as she gestured to the waiter to get her the same drink. "someone important was watching, i didn't want to blow that up."
you chuckled at her, "hm, important, then? so, it's a date..."
"you could put it that way," she teased back. she leans closer to whisper to you, "you look beautiful tonight."
"thanks," you said as you put a hand on her thigh, getting her comfortable with your touches. "you're not so bad yourself. had your arms out and all on the stage."
momo laughs, "well, i didn't know you'd stare at that."
"i mean, i can help but to, you know," you confessed. "it's just so big-"
"something else is bigger- what?" she gets flustered by herself, saying the phrase. "no, oh my god, sorry, y/n... that was such a bad joke."
you just laughed and let yourself lean on her arm. "it's nothing, momo. it's okay," you placed a little kiss on her cheek. "you know, if you really wanna show it off," you slide your hands through her inner thighs, down to her crotch, feeling the material and her cock desperately straining against it. "do it, momo."
"fuck," she stands up, holding your hand, leaving the payment on the table as she makes a rush going out of the bar. "you're getting it."
"hm, let me." you chuckled as she went to open the car door for you, letting you sit down. she went and got into the other side of the car, and she drove away.
"such a little tease for me," she said, running her hand through your bare thigh. "wearing this tight fucking dress," she touches the hem of it as she drove off. "all for others to see."
you held onto your seatbelts as she creeped her fingers closer to your center. "momo-"
the teasing stopped once you arrived at her house, as she pulled you into a deep, breathless kiss. she lets you wrap your legs around her waist as she carries you inside, going to her room.
"fuck," she pulls away, closing her room's door, as she nipped on your neck, making sure that it's red enough for her. "you don't know how much i've been wanting you, baby."
you can't help but moan, and clutch your hand on her hair as she laid you down on her bed, nipping on the valley of your collarbones as she takes off your dress.
"so fucking pretty." she latches on your nipple, as she takes the other to knead with her hand.
"momo, ah- fuck," you rut your hips against her knee as she holds you by the waist. "i need you."
she pulls away from your breasts, as you kiss her, taking her flannel off, and pulling her tank top off. you held tightly to her bicep, as you gently tug on her pants, opening the button of it.
she kneels on top of you, her evident bulge just right on your face. it curved to the side of her calvin klein's, and she takes your hand to palm it.
"so warm, baby," she says, feeling the sensation of you touching it above her boxers. "take it off."
you took it off, and it springed right up, her cock red and hard, slapping up to her navel.
you took her length to your hand, pumping it up and down, as she thrusts. "so needy." you swiped your thumb on the sensitive head, making her squirm.
"wan' fuck your mouth," she whined, getting off of you for a second as she took the space beside you. "please?"
"so cute when you beg," you pumped her a couple of times, as you trailed your kisses from her chest to her stomach. she was whining, holding you by the hair as she makes you a makeshift ponytail. you licked the head of her cock, and she moans loudly. "so cute."
you finally let her fuck your mouth, the big length just sliding in and out of your throat, the tip reaching parts of your mouth you've never known before. momo knows that you were choking, but that doesn't stop her, as she pulled you down by the head to take on her 9 inch length.
"god," she stills, letting her cock pulse fully inside of your mouth. "you're so fucking good, baby."
she finally pulls out, flipping you over with her big strong arms as she kisses your neck once more. "tell me what you want, baby," she whispered. "i need you to let me fuck you like the little bitch you are."
"make me cum," you held onto her hand that was kneading your breast. "please, momo, i don't care how many times- just-"
she kisses you on the lips once more, making you shut up. "don't worry about it."
she trailed her kisses from your chest to the waistband of your panties, spreading your legs and putting it on her shoulders.
"needy little bitch, all for me," she tapped on your arousal that seeped through your panties a couple of times, which made you squirm, your thighs closing on her head. she spreads them once more, removing your panties, and now, the wetness of it glistens in front of her. she takes a long stripe from your hole to your clit, making you hold onto her hair. "and you're delicious. can't wait to eat you all night."
she latches her mouth on your clit, looking at you with utmost adoration and lust as you come apart on her tongue. she laps, circles, and plays around with it, making you moan and strut your hips to meet her tongue. she couldn't be more happier when you begged more.
"momo, fuck," you moaned out, her lips still closed and sucking your clit. "fingers, please."
she happily complies, her fingers teasing the outside of your folds, getting it wet enough to be inserted. she puts two of her fingers inside, licking at your clit, as she moves it in and out to hit your g-spot so deliciously.
"mmgh! holy shit, momo," you closed your eyes in the ecstasy of her pleasure. "more, fuck," you rutted your hips, her fingers going faster. "ah."
she pulls away, smirking as she pumps her fingers faster, now she latches on your nipple, stimulating the hard nub, as she makes you come apart on her fingers.
your juices were overflowing on her hand as she went and used her thumb to make circles on your clit. "momo!" you held onto her biceps as she kissed you on the neck. "fuck, fuck," you were becoming sensitive, with the way she was holding and fucking you with her fingers. "momo, i'm gonna-" you held onto her tightly, feeling the heat building up from your pussy.
"cum for me," she whispers, the thumb on your clit teasing you further. "cum, baby."
"fuck!" you screamed, squirting on her hand. you felt your arousal trickle on her hand, to her bed, but you felt something different. it was momo's cum, white, spurted, on your thigh. "did my baby cum untouched with that, huh?" you teased as you pumped her cock, and was surprised that it wasn't even half hard. it was still hard, ready to be inside of you.
"don't worry," you went on top of her, your hands directly touching her toned stomach, as you glide your wetness on her length. "can't wait to have your big cock inside of me," you moaned, lining up her wet cock to your hole. "mmgh," you slowly sit on it, the girth already stretching you out enough. "so fucking big, baby."
she held your arms, as you tried to sit down on her cock. slowly, you ride her, her length not fully in. she was getting impatient, so she rolled you two over, slamming her cock inside of you fully.
she lets you feel her cock inside of you, almost kissing your cervix with how big it is.
"so tight," she thrusts, holding you by the waist, fucking into you slowly to get you loosened up. "fuck, is it your first time?"
"no," you let yourself sway with her, already trembling with how big she was. "it's just that you're so big..."
"hmm, i know," she kisses you once more, a little gentle, as she tries to thrust in and out slowly. "just tell me if you're good already, hm? don't want to destroy my sweetheart like that."
you wrapped your arms around her and you smiled, "get rough with me," you whispered, your mouth forming into an 'o' as her thrusts fasten. "make me your bitch, come on- ah," you moaned, holding onto her biceps. "fuck, use that fucking cock."
"g'nna destroy your little cunt, baby," she moans, holding you by the waist, thrusting as your back arches to her touch. "i'm too big for you," she growls, putting her hand above the spot where she feels her cock bulge. "taking me so fucking well."
you continued to writhe below her, as she pumps her cock, in and out, your pleasure spot getting battered as you let out spurts of your arousal.
"you're so wet," she says, pulling out completely, and turning you over. she tucked a few pillows on your chest, letting you lean onto it as you're now positioned by her on fours. "i want you to stay like this. can you, baby?"
"hmm," you moaned, feeling your juices trickle down to the bedsheets. "fuck..."
"you're making a mess," she laughs, rubbing your folds languidly, as she inserted herself once more, shocking you. you were tighter, "you're gonna squirt on my cock, aren't you, messy girl?'
she went and rubbed your hardened clit, making you squirm and grip her sheets as you whined, screamed, and shouted her name.
she continues to thrust, fast, as she slaps your ass. "fucking slut, always having your ass out when you're at the bakery," she closes her eyes and remembered the times that your ass confined into your clothes too much as she squeezed on it, spreading it apart. "you've been wanting someone to fuck you like this, haven't you, hm?"
"yes, yes!" you screamed, holding onto her sheets as you slammed your hips back in time with hers. she pulls you to her by your hair, and she wrapped her arms around you as she thrusts, her fingers once again creating tight circles on your wet clit.
she huffs, kissing your neck once more, leaving a mark as she held you by the waist, thrusting uncontrollably when she felt your pussy walls pulse against her.
"momo," you moaned, weakly, as you leaned into her touch. "fuck, momo, fuck me more," you whined. "please-"
she pushed you gently again, making you go on fours, as she thrusts, faster than she was before, pumping her wet length in and out of you.
"am i fucking in you enough, huh," she asks in short breaths, her wet skin on your wet skin as you moaned onto her pillows. "so fucking tight, baby," she grunts, feeling your arousal grow by the minute. "cum for me."
you squirted as she continued to thrust, fucking your overused pussy as it pulsed.
"take it." she thrusts, slow, as she makes you feel her pulse. her warm liquid covers your inner walls, as she falls on top of you. "fuck," she pulls out, letting herself soften outside of you. she went and admired her work, your hole filled with her cum, dripping to your clit, but she was fast as she used her tongue to put it back in. she went back to you, making you come back to a laying position, and she makes you rest on her chest. "w's that good, baby?"
you nod against her warm chest, looking up at her. "so good," you smiled, kissing her cheek. "thank you, momo."
she chuckled, "that's nothing," she says. "how are you? did i get too rough? sorry if i d-"
"i told you, right?" you chuckled, holding her hand. "so no, you're not too much."
"well," she blushed still, as she Interlocked her fingers with yours. "what about a proper date?"
"maybe, that's too late to ask," you chuckled. "i mean, you already have me here, you know?"
she laughs, "just wanted to make sure." she kisses your forehead.
maybe, your year isn't that bad at all.
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There is still hope.... isn't there? PT 1
Tom Bennett X (Best Friend's Sister Reader)
Warnings after the break
A/N: had to use this gif because his smile here is one of the best things I've ever seen lmao.
There is Still Hope ... Isn't There? Master List
Tom Bennett Master List
Full Master List
Banners by @arcielee
Warnings:: Age gap. (5 years)
Your older brother is the best brother in the world. As far as you were concerned, no one compared to Josh. 5 years older than you, he always made sure to protect you. Defend you. Once your father died when you were only ten and he fifteen, he stepped up to be the man of the house.
Your mum worked, but the type of work women did just didn't pay enough to support a three person household. So your brother resorted to less than legal ways to try and make up the shortfall. He and his best friend Tom Bennet were always working on some scheme or another to try and make some money quickly.
While Josh was out running amuck with the ladies and his schemes, he always made sure to keep you on the straight and narrow. Boys were basically all chased off, and he was hyper aware of who your friends were and what type of reputation they had.
Josh and Tom were basically glued at the hip in their teenage years. If Josh wasn't at home, it was safe to assume he was out somewhere with Tom. The two of them known locally for their trysts with the local girls and their make money quick schemes.
Tom Bennet was a problem. A problem you desperately wanted to have. Yet him being 5 years older than you and you being his best friends little sister made you entirely invisible to him.
That feeling was not reciprocated. To you Tom was much more than just Josh's best friend You were crazy about Tom Bennet, and as you got older, you tried to show him that you were older, a woman now, or what a young teen thought a woman should be. This all went over and under Tom's radar. Him going as far as referring to you as "kid." The nickname annoying you to no end since it was a reminder that this is how he viewed you. Josh's kid sister and nothing more.
All hopes of showing him that you are a woman in your own right were dashed as Tom joined the Navy and went off to war. The few times you saw him while he was on shore leave, nothing had changed between you.
He would hug you, call you kid, maybe mess your hair up a bit. But he never looked at you the way you wanted him to. As a woman. Now that you were 19, it was even more of a disappointment that he still seemed unable to see you for the woman you had become.
When you had heard the news of his ships demise you and Josh had mourned, Josh had leaned on Tom so much in his youth he just couldn't imagine a world without Tom in it. Josh was sullen and closed off for weeks, and it didn't help that your mum had gotten very sick very quickly and passed shortly thereafter. The playful goofy Josh you had grown up with was a more serious man. A colder man after having to accept the truth of these two devastating losses.
This only served to bring Josh and you closer together. He was even more protective of you than before. If you were out, he would wait up for you to get home unable to sleep if he didn't know you were safely back home.
Then, the devastating loss of Mr. Bennet and the Bennet family home seemed to erase Tom further. The place where Josh had spent so much of his youth was wiped off the map.
That's why when Tom showed up at the flat, you now share with your brother alive, a little brow beaten but alive you couldn't help but shreik and throw yourself into his arms.
He chuckles as he grabs you. " Calm down, kid, you'll knock me off the stoop!"
"How are you? We thought you? Oh my gosh! You're here!" You reach up and pinch his cheeks. " you're really here ain't ya?"
"Yeah, kid, I'm ere. Josh about?" He tries to look over your shoulder and into the flat.
"He's at work. it should only be another hour or two. You're welcome to wait for him inside. " You open the door, further waving him inside.
"Alright then," he walks through the doorway and into your kitchen.
"You hungry? I can make ya something"
"Nah, I don't want to take your food. I know things are limited." He's holding his rucksack in his hands and looking around the kitchen awkwardly.
"Tom Bennet, you put that bag down and take a seat and let me fix you up something to eat," you say this sternly while putting your hands on your hips.
"Looks like you've grown up a bit while I've been gone, lass. You're a proper lady now, ain't ya?" He gives you that cheeky grin that has always made you melt.
Your heart flutters at his words. As a heat crosses your cheeks. "I've got some apple tarts I made last night" you move around the kitchen to prepare him a plate while avoiding eye contact less he see your rosey cheeks and the small grin you just can't seem to stop.
You give him the tarts, which he happily gobbles down quickly.
"I was real sorry to hear about your da." You weren't sure if you should bring up the death of Mr. Bennet, but it felt like you had to say something. He had to know that others grieved his father as well.
He nods "Yeah thanks..... so where is Josh working nowadays? He a proper business man or summat?"
You chuckle. "Oh yeah, runs his own company," you say sarcastically, whacking Tom on the shoulder.
"He works at the garage."
Tom laughs heartily, "the one we used to nick from? Surprised they'd even let him in there"
"Yeah, well, he's grown. After mum....... he started to take things far more seriously." You're not sure if Tom knows about your mum passing.
"Yeah, I get that." he rubs the back of his neck. "Guess we've all grown up a bit, eh?"
"That's the way of things, i guess." You sigh and wipe down the counter. It's already clean, but you feel like you have to do something with your hands.
"You want tea or something?" You bring down a cup before he answers
"Yeah, thanks, that would be great." he taps his fingers on the table. "How bout you? You workin?"
"Yeah, I tend down the pub a few nights a week." You pull down a second cup for yourself and put the kettle on.
"You're a barmaid? That's my kinda girl!" He winks at you at you, so you turn away quickly, that grin coming back to your face.
You just laugh lightly and touch your cheek. It's so hot you know you must be bright red.
"Gonna go out front for a fag be back in a minute" he gets up and walks out the front door closing it quietly behind him.
You turn your back to the counter and lean against it, bringing your hands to your cheeks.
"He's killing me," you chuckle to yourself while trying to use the coolness of your hands to bring down the burning on your face.
When he comes back in, the two of you drink your tea and chat about a few innocuous topics just passing the time until Josh returns.
When you hear the door open you can see Tom's eyes light up.
"Hey, I'm ba-" Josh completely freezes when he enters the kitchen.
"Look at ya, lad. Thought food was limited? You look like you've doubled your intake" Tom teases as he stands up from the table.
Josh smiles but is still at a loss for words. He just slowly walks toward Tom. Who walks up to him and gives him a big hug smacking him on the back.
"Holy shite mate," Josh says, still in shock as he pulls out of the hug. "Thought you were sitting at the bottom of the ocean somewhere"
"Nah, that would be boring." Tom chuckles, "was hoping I could have a word with ya mate." Tom briefly looks over to you "alone?"
"I have to get ready for work anyways," you smile and go towards Tom for another hug.
He pulls you in and hugs you tight. "So happy to see you're alright," you say into his shoulder and then pull away and head upstairs.
You get yourself dressed for your shift, and when you head downstairs, you can see that Josh and Tom are seated in the living room on the sofa speaking in hushed voices.
You smile to yourself as you grab your handbag and head out the door.
He's back, and he's alive. He's alive.
Part 2
A/N: I had this premise kicking around in my head for a while, and since I am pretty much done with Kitty Cat (Ettore series), I decided to start posting this one. 🥰
To be added to taglist click here
#tom bennett#tom Bennet fanfic#tom bennett x reader#ewan mitchell verse#ewan mitchell fanfic#tom bennett fanfiction#tom bennett fanfic#ewanverse#ewan mitchell#ewan nation#tom bennett smut#tom bennett x you#jess fics#my cunty bf
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Accommodating
Re-uploading this one shot because I wanted to add some changes. I'm experiencing a massive writers block tho, my inspiration is gone (my new job is taking most of my mental energy away but I love it lmao)
Here is some SOFT!Arthur one-shot, again, because boy oh boy it makes me want to write a full story about him going through our current era lol
Don't mind his absolute child-like fascination for modernity, I mean... it's cool to see our tough cowboy happy, isn't it ?
Arthur Morgan x GenderNeutralReader
Word count : 2.9k
Short summary : You make Arthur try some new technologies, and it’s quite funny to watch his large blue eyes gaze at them !
A/Note : I bought myself a galaxy projector not so long ago and wondered how Arthur would react lol. Don’t mind it !
Tags : cute, Arthur discovers modern things, mentions of Avatar, movie-watching, snacks, cute nicknames, cuddles, soft boah is in the modern world, men can also cry
A cowboy in the modern world… what a weird story to tell ! Arthur had been in your life for a few months already, slowly accommodating to your era. Sometimes, it was fun, sometimes it was almost scary, and, occasionally, it could be sad. You knew Arthur was an outlaw, a thirty-six, probably thirty-seven year-old man who had been abandoned on the top of a mountain, but he never really brought the subject to the table. In fact, on a few occasions, he would mourn the rest of his gang, he would mourn his friends he would never see again. You had done your best to cheer him up during his rather sad moments, but nothing could really fill that void.
Arthur missed these folks, a few names were frequently mentioned : Hosea, John, Tilly, Charles, Sean and Lenny. Six people he would describe at times, probably the six people he missed the most from his former life. A father-figure, his siblings, his closest friends… he often wondered what happened to them, to these people becoming distant memories he could only mourn. As of 2023, even little Jack was gone. You wished you could do something, probably beg for Francis Sinclair to come back and drag all these people he mentioned to your time… but Francis was long gone, not even bothering about stepping by your place anymore.
You knew Arthur loved drawing stuff, so you bought him a set of sketchbooks for him to practice. He would hole himself in your now-shared room, sitting on the edge of your window or on your bed, spending about one or two hours sketching figures, animals or even sceneries which appeared to be from a very distant era, mixed with modern buildings and figures he came across while wandering in the streets with you. You often left him alone for him to enjoy his solitude, listening to some blues while sketching his discoveries before he would head to you and proudly show you some of his works. One of your walls had a full set of Arthur’s drawings framed and displayed to the eyes of any guest coming in. After all… it was art ! And nothing could make Arthur more happy than receiving compliments about his sketches he often disliked.
Arthur still had some hard time getting used to a smartphone you had bought him as you thought it would be a good thing to keep in touch whenever you would be away from him. He nearly broke his phone’s screen twice, unable to understand why it would not switch on, struggling to send you correctly written texts. His large fingers did not help much, he would get easily frustrated by not selecting the right letter for his text. You absolutely adored each one of them, finding them incredibly cute by knowing how much Arthur wanted to do things like you. Sending a text usually took you a few seconds, whereas Arthur would roughly spend one minute writing a five-word sentence filled with typing mistakes, some of them being due to his autocorrector.
"Im misqing yoi, Y/N !" was an almost daily message he would send you
At some point, you saw an add of a galaxy projector while scrolling on some social media, right after telling Arthur he would probably get a lot of followers if he decided, by miracle, probably, to create an account for himself. He was handsome, had some sweet-looking traits and could easily model for some alternative brands. He often said he would never do such thing, finding his face too ugly to be shown to anyone. How wrong he was, he was probably the most gorgeous-looking man you had ever met ! But, somehow, you did not want to encourage him to post pictures of himself. Social medias were a rather dangerous place for healing minds, and Arthur still needed time. Besides, he would probably not even be able to post anything due to his lack of ease using his digital keyboard !
You bought that lamp later that night, it got delivered quite fast. You carefully unpacked your new tool and quickly headed to your bedroom, followed by Arthur who had stopped reading a book about extinct species as he saw you wander around your place with this curious thing you held. You calmly placed the lamp on your bed, reading the instruction manual while Arthur touched it several times, not understand what the hell this little thing was and what was its purpose.
"What’s that ?" Arthur asked
"It’s a galaxy projector." you answered.
"Why d’you need that ? Can’t you just look at ‘em stars from your window ?"
"Light pollution prevents it. These are often used to create a cute ambiance at home or to distract kids. Wanna give it a try ?"
"Sure."
Arthur sat on the bed as you switched all lights off, plugging your galaxy projector on, making a large blue and purple light come out of it, filled with laser dots representing stars. The background was moving a little, creating a wave effect which froze Arthur on place. He kept his head up, looking at your now star-covered ceiling. His surprised and mesmerised face was absolutely priceless ! His eyes were shining, his mouth remained half-open as he could not help but stare at these fake stars covering your ceiling. All his troubles were forgotten, making him return to a child-like state. It was such a beautiful thing to see !
"And it can also distract grown-ups." you smiled
Your cowboy-roommate did not even react. His attention was completely focused on the ocean of fake stars he had above his head ! Of course, Arthur knew what a projector was. It would have been awesome to see his reaction if he had never seen such thing before, he would probably have been trying to catch these laser stars like a cat and look confused. But, at the moment, his reaction was pretty cute.
You left Arthur alone in the room to buy a ready-made lunch at the local market. He had a phone and would call you whenever he would need your help, if he would get lucky enough to make his fingers touch the right icon on his screen. It only took you a few minutes to buy some finger food for the two of you to eat while watching a movie, you came back to find Arthur exactly where you had left him thirty minutes earlier, in the same position, with this same amazed facial expression blooming on his face. He was hypnotised by these lights enough to feel suddenly so lost as you opened the curtains of your bedroom.
"Wh… what’s going on ?" he said, placing his large hand over his eyes. "Damn sunlight…"
"I brought us some food. You wanna watch a movie ?"
"Yeah, why not ! Just… just let have my eyes back first, hun."
Arthur rubbed his eyes and shook his head while you smiled. You absolutely loved listening to him giving you cute nicknames, such as hun, sweetheart, lovebug… even calling you boo, sometimes, after he heard about that nickname while watching TV. It took him a few more seconds to leave your bedroom, keeping his eyes partly closed until reaching your living room, helping you placing all the food on the table, still looking surprised you did not have any forks or knives to eat these carrots, chips, mozzarella sticks and cucumbers. He glanced at the chips and took one between his fingers. Since his arrival in your era, he had never seen or had the opportunity to taste chips !
"What’s that thing ?" he asked. "Is that really food ?"
"Oh, that’s a potato chip."
"Really ? Just like fried potatoes ?"
"Yeah, just like fried potatoes, but smaller and thinner. We can eat them for snacks or very random occasions. Try it !"
Arthur nodded, taking a bite of the chip before smiling and taking more of them into his large hand. You could not help but chuckle at his sudden addiction to salty treats, wiping away a few crumbs stuck in his three-day beard with the tip of your fingers. He turned shades darker and smiled, gently taking your hand and rubbing it with his thumb as you launched the movie. Avatar, by James Cameron. Back in a day, that movie had been vastly acclaimed for its large technological progress, and was still pleasant to be watched to this day. You would take Arthur to watch the second Avatar movie someday soon in case he liked the first one.
"Are ‘em blue folks real ?" Arthur asked while pointing a Na’vi on screen
"No, they’re modelled with computers." you smiled, trying to explain Arthur about motion capture in the most easiest way. "Our technologies allow us to record actors and then modify their bodies thanks to computers to morph them into these blue folks, like you call them."
"Is there a planet called Pandora too ?"
"I don’t know. Probably ? The universe in infinite, and we didn’t explore much yet."
The gaze Arthur gave you was adorable. You could see his eyes shine with admiration, it was such a privilege to be able to witness an era which was more than one hundred years ahead of his time, despite its good and bad moments. You had tried your best to keep Arthur away from newspapers in order to help him remain in his rather innocent state of discovery, knowing that a simple glance at the news on TV would probably make him terribly sad and somewhat nostalgic of his own time.
It was quite unexpected, but Arthur cried during the movie. He cried because of its overall beauty, the story appeared amazing to his eyes, the soft melodies and choirs chanting in background soundtracks moved him a lot. He loved the bioluminescent effect of some scenes, the overall atmosphere of the movie, not taking his eyes away from your TV while wrapping his arm around your shoulders, gently kissing your temple at times. He adored that, he adored this moment. Having you close to him while being fully taken into this movie made him forget about all his past troubles.
"D’you also have ‘em guns ?" he softly asked
"Maybe… why ? You want one in case you’d come across blue people ?"
"Mmmm… yeah. Jus’ in case. I miss my good ol' revolver, sometimes."
You rested your head on his shoulder, somewhat amused by his sweet attitude. You would listen to his gasps, his soft squeals, his almost inaudible wows… you could not deny how adorable Arthur was. You could even hear him sniff, his chest trembling a little whenever a scene would be emotional enough to bring him to tears. Who would have thought Arthur could be so sensitive ? Those who knew him much more than you did. Hosea and Charles, for instance, and most probably John at some point, even Dutch. Just by looking at his drawings, you could have guessed he had a soft heart and high intelligence hidden underneath his rather menacing appearance.
The movie lasted for so long… you had time to check your phone about a dozen times while resting against Arthur whose eyes were glued to the screen. You did not even want to bother him, he was absolutely hypnotised by the movie and did not want to be bothered. You smiled at him as the credits rolled, noticing tears streaming on his cheeks as you teasingly poked them.
"Getting a little sensitive, huh ?" you smiled
"That was a beautiful show !" Arthur answered. "I loved every second of it ! Can we watch it again ?"
"Someday, we will. But... let's just take a break, okay ?"
Night came pretty fast, Arthur made you a lavender infusion, you found enough energy to work a little while Arthur sat on the couch and started sketching. Very random figures, some fantasy-like sceneries… and you. You could easily tell he was drawing you by looking towards your direction a few times, then proceeding to sketch something, and looking back again. Another artwork to frame, that was for sure !
"What are you drawing, cowboy ?" you smiled
"Well… I’m trying to sketch you, but I can’t get it right… you’re too gorgeous and my hand shakes too much."
"That’s… that’s really sweet !"
"I mean it."
What Arthur told you made your heart stop beating, you turned shades darker and hid your face behind your hands. Your smile widened enough to cause your roommate to move closer to you, carefully closing your laptop with a large smirk blooming on his face. He made you stand up, slowly uncovering your beautiful face before dropping a sweet kiss on your forehead.
"You’re making me melt, you know that ?" you smiled
"Let’s get you to bed so you’ll stop workin’ on your… weird machine here."
"It’s a computer, Arthur."
"Well, computer or not, you’re going to bed with me ‘cause it’s kinda late."
You shrugged, you didn’t notice how fast time had passed since you decided to get back to work ! Remote-working had its ups and downs, and Arthur had complained a few times about you staying up too late instead of going to bed and hide into his embrace. He could hardly sleep without having you next to him, and there were no ways to escape him that night. How could you resist these puppy eyes and insisting behaviour ? Your arms spread wide for him to lift you up while you dragged your legs around his hips. Arthur loved carrying you around your place, he could easily remain in shape by doing this almost on a daily basis ! You did not mind it. In fact, you loved having him carry you from a room to another. Bridal and koala style, as you called it, were your favourite.
Arthur calmly put you on the bed and proceeded switching all lights off while you changed into some more comfortable wear, slipping under your blanket as Arthur moved next to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. He took advantage of you turning yourself towards him to passionately kiss you before making you rest your head on his shoulder. You remained like this for a few seconds, in your pitch-black bedroom, up until Arthur cleared his throat.
"Erm… Y/N ?" he sheepishly asked
"Yeah ? What’s wrong ?"
"Would you mind… switching the galaxy lamp on for a bit ? I… I liked it and…-"
"Sure, sweetheart."
You gasped at your own sudden reaction. "Sweetheart ? Really ?" you scolded yourself, covering your forehead with your palm. You never dared giving Arthur nicknames, not finding anyone of them suitable enough for your time-traveling cowboy, his sole name sounded just fine, you would sometimes call him by his surname. Sweetheart came out of nowhere, and was well deserved !
"S-sorry." you stuttered
"Nah, it’s fine." Morgan responded. "I like ‘em sweet nicknames. "
Arthur smiled, deeply flattered by the nickname you just gave him. His heart pounded faster than expected as you calmly reached out to get the lamp and switched it on. A beautiful fake galaxy suddenly covered your ceiling, filled with laser stars which slowly moved along with the rest of the digital ocean of blue and purple clouds behind them. You analysed Arthur’s reaction and smiled at his sight.
"Why do you like this lamp so much ?" you smiled
"Oh… it just reminds of home." Arthur answered as he moved closer to you, allowing you to place your head back on his chest
"You never slept with a roof over your head before you came here ?"
"I did, at some point… but I got used to fall asleep while gazing at the stars from a corner of my tent, or sometimes from my bedroll when I was away. Gazing at ‘em moving above me was always calming."
"If you want, we could go camping this summer. Would you like that ?"
You heard Arthur moan a little, feeling his heart pound faster. Your head rose a little, allowing you to get a better view of Arthur’s beautiful face. Your hand caressed his chest, drawing circles on them while you kept gazing at him. His eyes kept staring at the ceiling until he felt your gaze, slowly turning his head to you.
"That’d be awesome." he smiled
There were many things left to discover, many things you wanted to show Arthur. The world was full of treasures, modern or ancient, cultures you wanted him to get familiar with, places to visit… Arthur’s health was back to normal, you could now guide him through your own era without bothering about any health issues he would encounter. Indeed, that man was not twenty anymore, but you were ready to do so much for him ! You were ready to guide him, to be with him. Beyond what Francis had first asked you. Your help turned into a beautiful blossoming relationship filled with embraces, kisses and… very noisy nights.
Switching this galaxy lamp became some sort of ritual every single night. Along with waking up to Arthur’s face and his hugs after you would come back from work, your daily embrace in bed facing a fake galaxy was your most favourite part of the day. At times, you would run your fingers into Arthur’s dirty-blonde locks, massaging his scalp with singing some song. Sometimes, he would do the same with you. You adored it, you adored him. No, you loved him… and did not have the courage to tell him just yet, but you knew this day would come soon enough. The world was filled with treasures, mysteries and beauty.
And Arthur was going to find out about them.
#arthur morgan#arthur morgan x reader#gender neutral reader#modern arthur morgan#red dead redemption 2#rdr2 fanfic#rdr2#modern cowboy#soft arthur is the best#azurestales#cute#fluff#rdr2 au#sweet arthur morgan makes my heart melt idk why#red dead redemption#arthur morgan fanfiction
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HELLOOOOO 😁😁😁
I request that you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEE continue making chapters to the Intense series PLEASEEEE 🙏😩 I'M BEGGING ON MY KNEES (not really lmao) PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏
anyway slay ALL day pookie 🫶🫶 😘
Tempermental
Draco x Male Reader
Context: Yes I know the title is misspelled. No I don't care. Why is there an 'A' in temperamental? I refuse to endorse that. Here's the eighth chapter of "Intense" which can be read in full on Ao3 or Wattpad
Summary: Draco's entirely too satisfied with himself having knocked that scarhead down a couple pegs in the train car. What a peculiar coincidence he just so happens to bump into you...
Word Count: 695
The train door clutters shut behind him. Draco steps onto the platform of Hogsmeade station.
Anger lingers in the breath he lets out, rolling his eyes at nobody in particular. He takes a moment to scan his surroundings, not quite thoroughly enough as he rounds to his right and a body slams into him. Somewhere in the distance, a nightingale echoes a trill into the wet air.
“Watch where you’re going, prat.” He barks, instinctively shoving the weight away from him.
“Hello to you, too, Draco.” Your familiar voice makes his lungs stutter in his chest.
He swallows the lump of guilt that bubbles up the back of his throat, watching you wobble to stability. He fights the urge to reach out and steady you himself.
You brush his shove off the front of your clothes, and Draco looks you up and down. His sneer etches deeper into his face even as his heart picks up. A bag, cartoonishly large, weighs you down on one side. Book-shaped indents show through the fabric. How scholarly.
Your teeth catch a gleam of light from one of the lanterns, pointing a smile at him. It makes him want to kiss it off you. An uncomfortable wriggling under the skin of his arm unsettles him, makes him clench his left fist until his knuckles curl up past the hem of his sleeve. He reaches over to tug it further down.
“Dreadful summer you’ve had, no doubt.” You say. His frown deepens, brows tilting in. He decides that Potter isn’t the only subject that sounds bad in your mouth. “It’s all over the papers. You alright?”
“Chuffed.” He sarcastically huffs. His lips curl up around it as he speaks.
An amused puff of air files through your nostrils, your smile closing around your teeth. He internally mourns the sight of them. The tension in his chest settles into background noise, sparks popping to life against each of his individual ribs. Your hand reaches out to him in his peripherals.
He’s almost giddy for the contact, but another pang of white-hot pain swells in the ink that’s etched into his arm. He panics as your fingers creep around the fabric now dwelling at his wrist. With a scared breath and the quiet snag of your nails on fabric, he jerks his arm away.
You break the eye contact he hadn’t realized he’d been lost in to glance down and then back up again. Your eyebrows draw tight, one quirked up in confusion. Your smile falls. Draco feels his face heat up; sweat prickles at his pores.
Your hand lingers awkwardly in the space between the two of you. Part of him wants to reach out and grab it, lace your fingers together and feel your palms on his, only the more apprehensive of him nudging the urge to dormancy.
A smaller, more fragile part feels like he’s fourteen again. The last of his oxygen leaves his body when your eyes meet for the second time.
Thick silence hangs in the air, but then your fingers are rerouting themselves higher. He lets his arm fall back to his side, subtly trying to hide it behind himself. Your fingers brush up and slip under the lapel of his jacket. Draco feels like he’s swallowed his own tongue.
“I’ll see you around, yeah?” You say it as the playful grin creeps back onto your face.
For a moment, he forgets he’s been given any task to complete this year at all.
He nods dumbly in agreement, head swimming when you back away from him. He hadn’t noticed when his face had relaxed, nor when his mouth had started to hang open, but he sucks a shaky breath into tight lungs and forces it closed as you turn away.
The airiness in his diaphragm filters out as the memory of his mission this school year comes back to him. He waits until you’re weaving into a fog-marred group of other Ravenclaws before he lets himself breathe out.
Standing there, watching you go, even as dread boils in his stomach; all he can bring himself to coherently think is: Merlin, I’m so in love with him.
Hope you enjoy your request pookie. You've all no idea how many rough drafts it took me to figure out where to go with this story. TT
Happy international women's day. Shout out to my mom and my sister and my best friend for being women. And any of you guys that are women and are reading this. I don't know why you're reading male reader fic if you're not a male reader but a reader is a reader fr. Good job being women, that shit is NOT for the faint of heart. Or so I'm told.
Working through my requests, but the brunt of my graduation project that's left is mostly waiting for people to email me back, so I shouldn't be as spotty as I've been. 18 days left until I have to present, lets get this bread (diploma).
Tags: @nowayisthistakenyet @gayaristocrat @siuspider @dracoshusband @skrunklespoingo @esperfraud @joongbin @midwestemosblog @we2222 @ashton-laufeyson @0-alastair-0 @mqzze @itsfitzroyy @dolly-dollar @pinkb4t
#draco malfoy#draco malfoy imagine#draco malfoy x male reader#draco x reader#draco x male reader#harry potter fandom#draco malfoy x reader#draco x y/n#draco malfoy x y/n#draco fanfiction#draco malfoy fanfiction#draco malfoy fic#draco x you#draco malfoy x you#tagging is hard#let me know if there are typos#or goofs
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Hello! For Writing Wednesday could we please have some more Spoils of War or Created for Death? I’m obsessed with both of these to an insane degree:
What I love about SoW: tentative!Alec whom Magnus has to work at gaining trust from? I love it. There’s a line in one part about Magnus having to fix how the Clave broke Alec before Magnus can gentle him and I just—gorgeous, perfect, headcannon accepted. Veiled consorts? Hooooooly that’s so cool omg I swear I heard a symphony in my head when I realized where you were going. The mask? Alec’s hesitance and obedience, thinking everything is out to hurt him but doing it anyway because what choice does he have, is so beautiful, and Magnus mourning a little that he didn’t have more time to make the experience better for Alec but not willing to risk the delay and risk Alec growing even more distant is just 😍—lmao I could write an essay about how much I love this universe.
CoD: I fucking love eldritch angel nephilim and this is giving EVERYTHING. Nephilim who are cobbled together projects of the angels, their biology so skewed by angelic power that even the nephilim don’t know what their children will look like/heal like/die like. Mostly the difference being subtle, but sometimes Not. Raised to hate and fear their full potential, anything that is Too Angelic, and Alec a living hearsay/blasphemy even when his blood was only 30/70 because if it. AND THEN. It’s not losing Jace that tips Alec over, it’s Magnus dying—demon-born prince/king of edom enemy of the Clave. So gorgeous, holllyyyy. I can’t even think too much about Magnus collaring 6-winged Alec, about Alec kneeling for him, about the terrible kindness and protection in Izzy disowning her brother, about the gentleness of Magnus hiding Alec away and covering his eyes and hushing him because even the ANGELS wouldn’t know what to do in this situation, with this new body, and then Team Immortal coming in and IMMORTALITY and wow
Anyway yeah sorry for spitting up my lovestruck brain in your asks but I had to make sure that you knew you’ve struck me deeply with your writing and that’s why I’m begging on your doorsteps for literally any content in either one of these verses 💜
i'm very glad both stories are being enjoyed so much and please don't apologize i love stuff like this! it's a huge compliment but also it's just really nice to see that other people are as into and obsessed with my verses as i am. because sometimes i wait for my sleep meds to kick in and i just plot where i'm going and end up passing out in the middle of a mental scene being written lol
so i wrote a thing for spoils of war and thank you! i'm glad it was enjoyed because i have this big headcanon about how consorts are really magically important to warlocks and magical kings if dominion magic is in the fic and a big thing about that is protecting the consorts identity. via masks but also cloaking the consort in so much magic that you can't even tell anything abut them besides what the warlock allows you to know. and there is a lot of history thats hinted at
-
for created for death
izzy was fucked up about that, okay. but she had to relinquish alec as a brother because otherwise the clave still had ties to him. since they don't need them anymore, the clave sort of doesn't let true nephilim have any rights. so alec had to be disowned as a nephilim and then magnus was basically like 'okay but my magic is on him so hes mine since i calmed him down' and izzy was like 'he totally counts as a weapon. yours now. because thats the safest thing for alec atm
so alec is actually 70/30 and most nephilm are 30/70 in a angelic/mundane equation. which is why he was being kept watch over by the clave but uh, the fear of magnus dying kinda made him lose it
i hope you enjoy this!
<3 lumine
spoils of war
—
Alec doesn’t know what’s going on.
Magnus didn’t bother explaining what the ritual was or what it did beyond that it was yet another bonding ceremony. But even their political wedding that signified the end of a war didn’t feel this elaborate.
Alec knows it doesn’t really matter, that he’ll be taking part in the ritual whether he knows what it does or not. In fact, it's almost better not to know than to know what he might need to do.
Alec can’t say no to whatever is going to happen and he knows that, so he takes comfort in the fact that he can still see. The mask has magic in and through it and Alec tries not to consider where it’s from and why he can feel nephil magic still fading from it.
Instead, he concentrates on Magnus and his magic and puts out the thoughts and details of his surroundings, like being watched by over a thousand warlocks and their companions, all hidden with their faces hidden behind a variety of masks.
It’s daunting to be here, to be taking part in something that feels so old and sacred when Alec was supposed to be no more than chattel. Fodder for a war built on the blood of innocents that Alec’s own people started. It feels wrong to be here so defenseless and yet know that Magnus’ magic will protect him better than any weapon.
—
Carefully, Magnus uses magic to take off Alexander’s ceremonial collar and he instead replaces it with a loop of pure magic that will slowly take on more and more power until the image of it will always become whatever Magnus wishes it to be.
For now, however, it is a tight loop of deep purple magic that pulses with Magnus’ magic and power in time to Alexander's every breath.
It’s a show of power to summon a single adamas arrow — one that Alexander gave to Magnus by his own hand — and hold it without harm. Alexander sucks in a startled breath — perhaps at the sight of one of his own arrows or that Magnus can hold it with ease — and Magnus can feel him quiver under Magnus’ palm.
“My protection is absolute. When you bleed it will be because I wish it, for no other is allowed to spill your blood.” Magnus uses the arrowhead to nick Alexander’s upper lip — just as he cut the lower with the stele — and then he leans forward to lick it off and suckle the cut until he earns a whine of pain.
“The flames of Edom will devour all before allowing anyone to touch you without my permission.” Magnus promises and his fingers dance with flames that brush harmlessly over Alexander’s neck — the shard of Magnus’ soul claiming Alexander in an undeniable way that will protect him from harm in Edom.
Alexander seems torn between leaning forward and stepping away and Magnus knows his boy better now than he did when they were wed. Alexander needs no leash as Magnus first thought, just a steady hand and Magnus’ voice.
The bonds between them are the only tether Magnus will ever need with Alexander.
“Sweetheart—” Magnus teases, his voice caressing Alexander with magic and he can see how his boy shudders at the sound and feel of it. He steps forward unconsciously, he's been instinctively drawn to Magnus from the very beginning and Magnus croons and reaches out. His palm blooms with hellfire before settling on Alexander’s hip and Magnus pulls him closer still.
“Should any look at you without being graced by my benevolence, their sight shall be consumed by my magic. A payment for stealing a glimpse of what is only mine to see.”
Magnus’ vows are instinctive and there is a primal surge of delight as he takes the ritual a step further, cursing any being who would dare look at Alexander’s uncovered face without his blessing.
It’s an old tradition.
Older still than the ritual Magnus is using and it’s something that has been out of style for over three centuries. Magnus still remembers the stories of how the legend of Medusa started. A warlock desperate to protect her gorgeous consort cursed her love with a vicious, loving protection.
Magnus knows now that Alexander expects to be a spectacle.
A disgraced nephilim in the eyes of his own people, traded away for a peace bought with his soul and virginity. Alexander expected to be paraded around as a mockery, a whipping boy for the clave to offer to the warlocks and it’s clear that’s what the clave told him he was.
But Alexander is not something to be gawked at.
He is not someone who Magnus will allow others to see, not to admire and certainly not to laugh over. Alexander is his consort and if that means that Magnus veils him in magic and curses all those who dare look upon him, then so be it.
#lumine writes#writing wednesday#writing wednesdays#spoils of war#malec#magnus bane#alec lightwood#shadowhunters
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤
aaaaaaa this one's hard!!! i've only written small town so far (which you can read here lol thank you for giving me the chance to shamelessly promote my work losty 🤎) so what i'm gonna do is share my fave five chapters instead!
chapter 3 - tonight she comes - this is when we meet our girlie dot, and it was my first time writing the hellfire club all together in the same room. here's where we start to explore their dynamic as a group and it's full of foreshadowing for things that haven't happened yet 👀
chapter 10 - that's what friends are for - this chapter has everything i love: the hellfire club spending time together, the gentle will they/won't they between eddie and dot, deep conversations with chrissy, dnd, and a lot of bickering. i consider this one to be one my best chapters and it was the longest i'd written at the time! 💕
chapter 13 - you give good love - another entry into one of the chapters i'm most proud of and, again, it includes a lot of the things i love about small town: wayne being a menace, chrissy being eddie's biggest supporter, dot and eddie realising that it isn't them individually vs the world. this was their first big fight, and i had been working on this fic for around a year by the time i posted this specific chapter so it'll always be special to me. got 3/3 laughs with the sponge bit amongst my friends so that's a win to me! 🧽
chapter 15 - don't you want me - the whole sleepover at gareth's will forever be one of the bits i've enjoyed writing the most about this fic. i adore that little gremlin and so much of him (and the rest of hellfire, really) is based on friends i've had throughout the years. there is something so very pure about a platonic friendship (stobin, am i right?) and if chrissy is eddie's steve, i wanted to give dot her very own robin in gareth. this was me officially confirming that both eddie and dot are bi/queer and bonding over rocky horror, which felt important to me as a queer girlie. it's my fic and i can do what i want, lol 💗💜💙
chapter 20 - self control - the moment everyone was waiting for!!! the love confession!!! it was messy, and so uniquely them, you can't take it and give it to anyone else because it's so dot and eddie that there's just no other way around it: if it had to happen, it was going to be like this. other things i loved about this chapter were allowing nancy to dip her toes into dealing with her grief over barb (more on that later lol), the hellfire class of '86 being there for one another, and finally getting to kick andy's bitch ass down!!!! 😈
honourable mention goes to chapter 14 - missing you, which is the mother's day chapter and deals with eddie and dot's mothers who passed away when they were children. i wrote this one while actively mourning someone i'm still thinking about every day and while i will probably be dealing with this for a long time, this chapter helped me purge a lot of my inner demons and helped heal more than i thought it would. it's my love letter to my person who isn't here anymore, and i know that she'd be proud of it because one of the last conversations i got to have with her was about me writing small town, and she was so happy and interested about it.
i'm in the process of writing chapter 23 right now and hopefully i'll get it out this week if i can stop crying at work for more than five minutes lmao. again thank you losty for giving me the opportunity to talk about small town, i love this fic, and i love writing it and talking about it. 🥰
#bunny answers#small town fic#losty's tag 🐟#eddie munson x female character#eddie munson x ofc#eddie munson x oc#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson angst#eddie munson fanfic#joseph quinn#hellfire club#stranger things 4
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1. gun to your head, you gotta save one of them and the other's going to die : levi or hange? 😈
2. who's your fave metal band/artist of all times, and which type of metal do you enjoy most?
3. how do you handle hange's fate most days and does it vary? are you more Team Denial or have you accepted it because you think it's a fitting ending for their character, or anything in between?
yeah i'm curious and i can't sleep either hehehe
Krikkit 🙂
Thanks for asking ! Sorry to reply so late, but I finally fell asleep earlier than expected 😴
*****
1/ I should have known you would ask a tricky question like this, you evil moot lmao !!
[speaking of canon characters here] According to my preferences -even if I almost love both of them equally by now- you could fairly expect me to choose Levi, but I would save Hange ! [Disclaimer : me not saying Levi's life is not valuable, don't misinterpret my words, people, please & thank you]
Besides Hange's fighting skills, their brains still have so much to offer to Humanity after war, in terms of progress, knowledge, improvement, technology, based on their scientific experimentation & enthusiastic curiosity. Their kindness & heartwarming sunshine personality would spread positivity & comfort around them as well, helping those close to them cope with their griefs & heal their emotional wounds. [But this would be so cruel, as I imagine they would mourn Levi for years & -secretly- hate me so much for choosing them over him 😭😭😭]
2/ My musical tastes are basically goth (mainly old school lmao) & metal since I was 12 yo. As far as metal is concerned, I used to listen to Rammstein & Marilyn Manson A .F*CKING .LOT !!
But as I grow older, my interest focuses on Black Metal, especially Satyricon [Dark Medieval Times & Nemesis Divina are my all times fav BM albums] & I recently experienced musical epiphany thanks to @stellar-smth 's advice : I literally fell in love with the Swiss band BORGNE omg I love their music so much !! If someone is interested, I can send the link to my Spotify playlist 🤘
3/ Oh my, this one pierces right through my kokoro 💔 I DON'T handle their fate AT ALL, I can't ! The more we get close to March 3rd, the more I get depressed. After reading chapter 132, I cried for 2 full hours at least, I couldn't stop, even after re-realizing they were a fictional character. So when I'll watch the animated scene...
I'd say I'm somewhere in between. The way Hange sacrifices themself of their own free will to save their comrades - & thus humanity- totally fits the character imo. It's no surprise they follow their convictions & beliefs until the very end. Once again, I'll say they are the real hero of the story as they SAVE EVERYBODY ELSE'S ASS for f*ck's sake !!!
On the other hand, I wish they could survive the Rumbling & live a peaceful life with Levi 💚💜😢 So I'm more than often Team Denial & read so so much fics where they're both alive & happy together, I also focus on what happened during the 4 years time lapse in the story [mainly Levihan working together, lovingly taking care of their growing brats together, increasing their bond/love just being together all the time & so on & so forth, Levihan living rent free in my mind 24/7 tbh] Also : Hange is the most underrated character in snk, even more than Levi, & we need a f*cking back story for them please I'm on my knees begging you Isayama 🛐
*****
I hope you finally fell asleep, I don't know how you can survive your long shifts !!
Thanks for passing by, always a pleasure to see Krikkit in my notifs ❤️
Mwah kith 😘
*****
BONUS : RANDOM SHIT
The two dorks Valentine's Day gifts they found for each other [just to cheer up the mood]
Since I'm also a dork, here's a Levihan kiss 💚💜
#val has mail 💌#random asks ❓#lovely moots 💕#krikkit 🔥#this is krikkit 🔥#aot spoilers#snk spoilers#attack on titan spoilers#hange zoe#levihan
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happy blorbo blursday! may I near some Alex facts?
hi hello? hi. I'm several actual months late but I was wandering through my drafts and was like, oh, today is the day I am going to finally answer this apparently. wahoo surprise motivation time
anyway thank you for the blorbo blursday ask n sorry I'm so late with it ahaha
Alex facts! I can offer Alex facts <3
so, I have a bunch of posts where I explain a tonne of stuff about Alex n its personality n its backstory n history with Quinn in excruciating detail and many paragraphs and I will not subject you to this level of in depth writings, but I will give you some Basic Rundown Of Alex In General facts then I will give u some other random Alex facts, because I can c:
the Alex overview:
full name Alexis Anders.... possible joke full name Alexis Alexander Anders..... making it Alex Alexander Anders. did its parents think this would be funny
they were fucking right, it is funny
it/its pronouns with extra special friends, he/him for everybody else
aromantic and in a queerplatonic relationship with best friend Quinn. not asexual. sexuality is shrug emoji, though
kind and compassionate, firm and diplomatic...... has a reputation among most for being warm-hearted but stoic
the most petty spiteful pissed-off chaotically stubborn bastard on the planet, but you are unlikely to actually notice this unless you're very very close to it and can pick up on some very specific subtle cues. like. Alex is a genuinely wonderful, gentle, morally-upstanding person. Alex is also a huge bitch (affectionate)
fatally allergic to sunlight
once fucked off to an abandoned house in the wilderness for three months to fistfight vampire god, isolating itself from society and refusing to feed on humans, enduring near-constant agony, mind-manipulation and gaslighting from the Garble, and starvation
(the general consensus is that vampire god didn't give a fuck, and Alex would have eventually just died there, but man, idk. idk. it's Alex. I think there's a chance no matter how slim that the Garble might have flinched first)
a personal injuries lawyer! for some of the year, at least! during the winter and autumn, it lives in Melberra City, Melberra, where the weather leans towards rainy and cloudy most days and Alex is free to go about its day job with no issues :3c during sunny summer and spring, Alex returns to Darwelaide and a nocturnal sleeping pattern, n hangs out with Quinn n does some freelance work
an intensely private person and incredibly picky when it comes to friends and who it opens up to, but this is not to be confused with coldness, standoffishness or sombreness
Very Very Very Very Very Fucking Tall
gentle and adverse to physical violence but will floor a motherfucker in a debate (for profit or fun)
does not want to be a vampire. hates being a vampire. doesn't wanna eat people. yearns to be human again. mourns the life it had to leave behind
is a vampire nonetheless, however, and tries to balance out its various moral crises by hunting down and killing almost exclusively vicious, despicable human predators society will never hold accountable for their cruelty
is a fucking pro at goofy sleight of hand magic lmao
has a huge greenhouse full of herbs and flowers and veggies and other such wonderful things because Hobbies Are Good For One's Health! and is constantly trying to pan boxes of fresh produce off to whoever will take them because it grows way more than it can realistically use itself, n it's very proud of its greenhouse and wants to share :3
n now extra Alex dot points that don't belong in an overview but r fun nonetheless
the neighbourhood kids have a bunch of very hush-hush rumours between them that Alex is a vampire, 'cause it hardly ever comes outside during the daytime and its windows are all boarded up to keep sunlight out. they're right, yeah, but this is, like. goofy little kid games. it is a topic for them to play make believe with, mostly, and get over-imaginative about
the kids are not NOT scared of the idea that Alex might be a vampire, but also whenever Alex is around on Halloween it has the best candy so they will dutifully protect its secret lmao. also it helped one of their mums out with a whole workers compensation asbestos thing one time so is probably not, like, an evil vampire
(but yes, the general story around the suburb is just that Alex has a medical condition that results in extreme sun sensitivity)
Alex does canonically possess a conspiracy-theory-looking murder pinboard for planning for and researching its targets. Alex used to use a notebook but Quinn was like "no no no where's your DRAMA where's your PIZZAZZ your AESTHETIC you MUST let me help you make a murder pinboard" and Alex decided it would allow this (it seemed like appropriate enrichment for its chaotic best friend and might keep them out of trouble for a bit)
Alex's tarot card is Temperance
Alex is terrible with animals and pretends this doesn't make it sad
Alex is the only ordinary vampire in the story capable of using its blood for hypnotism!
Alex is the only vampire in the story, ordinary or otherwise, capable of using its blood for healing others as well as itself!
Alex will and often does sleep on its own, but likes to have company n only ever really sleeps comfortably and deeply next to Quinn, and later Nat
as far as vampires go, Alex has fuckin godlike levels of self-control and even seasoned vampire hunters like Zeke can rarely pick up on the fact that it's a vampire
and the most important Alex fact of all
it deserves a little kiss on the forehead and a warm mug of coffee with lots of cream and sugar <3
#anyway thank u for coming to the Alex Fact Fun Corner with logan albatris#(thank you for the ask!)#alex is my favourite rental car character! n might even be one of my favourite ocs of all my wips but i shan't commit to that#not until i've at least flipped back to work on atdao again for a good few months / years#i handball the two wips back and forth at a very slow pace#but ye i like alex a lot#a rental car takes a left down rake street and disappears#alternate explanation for alex alexander anders:#alex picked a new name for itself but froze in indecision while trying to come up with middle and last names#and was just like....... hey you know what would be fucking funny#nonbinary power move: just name yourself fucking alex alexander anders#and when people are like ''are you serious'' you can be like#haha no that would be silly <3 my full first name is alexis actually!
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I would only call myself a part-time/reluctant Faberry, but now that you've got me thinking about a S5 Get It Right in relation to Quinn losing herself (again) and Pezberry, I want to cry at the lost potential. Very little in 2B annoys me as much as the S2 original songs arc starting off so promising with Rachel and Quinn pushing and antagonizing each other, just for it to end with the same old Finchel BS and Quinn being totally irrelevant. I never even CONSIDERED how re-doing Get It Right could've re-contextualized that song/arc and made it about Faberry AS IT ALWAYS SHOULD HAVE BEEN tbh. (Although, lbr, it wouldn't have happened anyway. Even in S5, I'm sure they would've made it just Rachel mourning Finn, Quinn having zero reaction, and Santana being made to look even more evil for picking on Rachel)
Part-time Faberry shipper lmao I'm stealing that because me too.
Seriously I re-listened to Get It Right for this and it's actually the perfect Fapezberry song. Can you imagine it starting off as a Rachel solo but then Santana joins in and we get flashbacks of their friendship
What can you do when your good isn't good enough,
And all that you touch, tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
Like, come ON. Pezberry feud vibes, it's right there. So first verse Rachel, second Santana, chorus as a duet, and then...
Can I start again
With my faith shaken
('Cause I can't go back and undo this)
I just have to stay
And face my mistakes
(But if I get stronger and wiser)
It's Quinn singing. And yeah sure it works in canon with Biff and Puck but since this is a rewrite it works in a Faberry context too. And then the three sing together and we get those heavenly harmonies like in Love Song. Basically, you and I are geniuses Anon. God, now I wish this was redone for 100 but only in this very specific context I have envisioned. The full song as a Fapezberry trio would sound amazing but honestly even a brief reprise would do. If only Glee wasn't after that sweet itunes money constantly and they dared to brief reprises that serve the story. I know the Look at Me I'm Sandra Dee reprise isn't exactly universally beloved but we could have had many more moments like that because I think it served the emotional beat well. And god, just imagine the power of Get It Right making a comeback now that the girlies' lives are so much more complicated.
Anyway. It never would have happened this way but one can dream. This always should have been a song about Rachel and her complicated relationship with girls who are mean to her but really care so much.
#would work as just faberry too but y'all know me i need my santana#and get it right as a fapezberry trio would finally become what it was always meant to be#a banger#glee asks#anon#get it right#gcv thoughts#fapezberry#faberry#pezberry
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i truly loved reading your thoughts about this. it would be so fun if maybe you could occasionally post recs of your favorite books/movies/shows and maybe briefly share opinions on them? only if that would be fun for you of course! i'm just saying i, and i'm positive many of your readers/followers, would be delighted to see them!
you are absolutely right regarding NP featuring a parade of horrifying clueless men masquerading as doms where all of marianne's masochistic tendencies seem to get repeatedly exploited without the scenes being "resolved" in any meaningful or helpful way. & instead of an ideal result of her feeling somewhat better and at peace, they leave her the same raw bleeding wound of a girl. and your take on connell needing to prove to himself he's good and good TO marianne when in reality many times he has been anything but... really brilliant. i don't think i've ever thought of it that way, as lost as i was in my harrumphing about what i took as rooney's repeated portrayal of slow vanilla sex being equated to true quasi-soulmate-bond love and affection. though i am first to admit i am a very sensitive girl who will immediately take things to heart if i see myself in a piece of fiction, and sometimes miss the bigger literary analysis picture. i'm so glad i sent an ask! also lol @ paul and daisy definitely sacrificing some canon information to say get behind me BDSM baddies of all types we got y'all. (also idk if you've seen/heard but paul mescal is in a film called "aftersun" that i believe is playing in select theaters right now which from my understanding is a very dreamy and melancholy potentially-hysterical-tear-inducing two hours of him being a young girl dad. i have not seen it yet because i think it might actually break my brain in a very dangerous way that i am not equipped for atm, and i am already pre-mourning my sanity and emotional stability for when i finally bite the bullet)
also as someone who has full on sobbed to your beautiful cathartic words many times over, i am grateful to you for exploring freaky mentally unstable girls who maybe should re-evaluate their relationship to sex but also maybe shouldn't because sometimes it's ok to be insane and slutty if you have a partner to support you through it! if drugs can't fix you maybe having 15 orgasms in a row can! even though i think i am different from your chrissy in many ways, i have never felt so validated by a character and never felt so hopeful and fulfilled seeing her clawing her way to happiness. sometimes it feels like you've taken stuff from the darkest stickiest ugliest parts of my brain and put it on paper and i'm like ok well now i've got to have a three week crisis to deal with this now, except it usually ends in some necessary acceptance and potential healing and always at least a temporary period of bright hope for the future (which is so difficult to come by some days). so thank YOU!
i loved reading what you had to say, as well! thank you so much for sharing (u actually got my brain all crazy and now i'm writing a little something that'll hopefully be up tonight lmao)! i would be SO happy to share recs (including ones tailored to specific interests!) if that's something people would like! anyone can lmk! i watch and read a shit ton for my work, actually, so i'm always so happy to share thoughts. it'll give my loved ones a break from my random excitable rants, too.
going a little out of order here, but i have found that the day i let go of trying to understand, rid of, or narrativize my sexuality, gender expression, and sexual interests and just say "whether it came from some event or is inherent or is a choice, it just is what it is, and that's okay" it paradoxically became way less of an issue for me, and way easier to express what i like and want just for the sake of it. in my opinion, there's only so much exploring we can do before it becomes a sort of ouroboros of "i'm trying to work stuff out for me" turning into "i'm trying to be sexually palatable in a new way".
"get behind me bdsm baddies" is so fucking funny. i have actually seen aftersun and was one of the original hysterical criers over it. i can confirm it is a life ruiner, and yet i'm going in for a rewatch on sunday. best movie of the year in my opinion!
i am so flattered that first one's free has moved you! it's more than okay to be insane and slutty! i don't know you, but can pretty confidently say that your darkest stickiest ugliest parts of your brain are not that bad if my chrissy expresses them - she may think she's a mess but i think she (and anyone who resonates with her) is doing just great and is a good person deserving of good things <3 if i didn't believe that then i'd also be so fucked lmao.
hope the near future brings you those good things! glad to hear you're finding spaces to feel hopeful.
please send an ask whenever, i'm so glad you reached out!
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3 4 & 11 🫶🫶
BELLA hi !! :D ♥️🫂
3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic
oooo ok okay. for fics usually like half the time it honestly starts with a title, because recently that will come from a song that has inspired the vibe or story i wanna write. i love pretty lyrics and they just jump out at me straight away and i'm like THAT NEEDS TO BE A FIC TITLE. then i start writing but a lot of the time i write random scenes that come way later bc i am impatient in my writing, but also entirely all over the place, and i just have scenes come to me in full force and i have to get them down. this is also not helpful when i have a 5k doc and only like 1k of actual coherent and Chronological fic. but yeah it gets written in the end after much chaos (hopefully. i mourn my fic graveyard on the daily ... shout out to australia fic. goodbye goodbye goodbye u were bigger than the whole sky and u will be missed). my attention span is also nonexistent on a bad day (adhd is so fun) and i will repeatedly find myself zoned out and staring at a wall. but then there's good days and i DO write :D i very much have to be in the mood to write too, and i am also a slow writer, but each to their own ya know! we are all writers n people and we are all different, and that's what makes life so fun. don't be hard on yourself guys bc u have ur own way of doing things and u ROCK (trying to convince myself that slow writing is fine. we will get there. whew). then comes posting time and i both love and loathe doing tags lmao. i love writing the free random tags but then remembering what people may Actually search to come across my fic is hard and annoying pft and i usually just get my previous fics up and look at their tags or the ones for other fics i know are similar. summaries and formatting and links also suck so bad. my god. i usually copy paste all of it over from my previous fic again and change where necessary. but yeah that is it and then i hopefully have a coherent and fun fic to post :D
4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?
i answered this one in the post before this so if anyone wants to read it is there :)
5. Link your three favorite fics right now
OOOOOO MY GOSH. YES. love this lets go (heads to my email to zero in on the fics i Know made me sob endlessly).
house of gold (rated m) by tippysleeps is one of the most beautiful and heart wrenching fics i have read lately, if ever, and i sobbed at the end very hard into my pillow and made it extremely damp. this is so pos please read it i am yelling. it's like george moves to florida n then lots of domestic slice of life moments almost vignette style but still so in depth, and it reached into my chest and squeezed my heart n slotted right in next to it and there it shall stay. tippysleeps is a genius everyone needs to read his fics go go go.
asystole (rated e; no minors) by womanhunt is incredible and i also cried while reading this fic (shoutout to bella !!!). dream and george go to london and george is experiencing being back there for the first time since his move, all alongside seeing dream in the city he grew up in. it's fluffy established relationship, while also making ur heart ache, alongside some flashbacks that i adored, and entirely full of love—it is love and dnf captured in a few thousand words.
instigate the paradigm by nervouswaltz (also rated e; minors don't interact) i loved this fic so much it tore me to pieces when i read it. bird is such an incredible writer (ily birdy) who's words are always so visceral and he ties love and life and the experience of being human all together into every fic he writes. this one is a bodyswap fic and i think it's a very important read to make u think n see yourself from another persons eyes, and is all about learning to love yourself. it's so beautiful guys :( buh. please check out birds fics !!!
#THANK U BELLA !!! :) another rambled answer LMAO that was also fun once again#there's literally so many more fics i could mention. go into this tag on my blog to see some of my favs ->#favourite writers!#side note some of that first question is me getting heavily irritated at myself rn for still not having finished my folkmore fic#i am insisting answering these is productive tho bc they are so fun and make me think a lot about my writing & i love that !!#folkmore is coming. i will go back to write it now. we got this amy u got this#sighs heavily#asks#writing talk
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I think there's a lot of hype on twitter and tiktok for it to have been a spicy sort of book like the vibe was Luna and Donnelly have a lot of sexual tension esp because he went down on her and then dancing scene in Jane/thatchers book so they were expecting more and the people who are reading because of tiktok aesthetic videos who make them out to be very sexual but the secret relationship or fwb thing which imo would've worked better also there's other people going out their way to hate on Luna and Donnelly for the dance scene and the cringness of like Donnelly does tiktok thirsts (idk I havent read the full book yet I got to the part where he goes down on her and I was expecting more, like there was a lack of tension and if it was Donnelly pov it would've been better because where's the internal struggle esp since she was just legal that and the reactions were putting me off plus I was already in a slump) and like other fans like raisy were like never say anything bad about them again when your girl hisses and that's a 30 year old man but there's others who looked past the cringe and bad writing and liked it and sort of have your reaction to it but tbh I was hoping for a fwb kinda plot I think Beckett and Jo are probably gonna be that kinda plot maybe like they seem to have that type of sexual tension and Beckett is being teased as kinky, I think for lunelly three books is too much even og calloway only had two book (lilo deserved their five they are *chefs kiss* but I will still mourn for coballoway hs/college years tension and raisy had so much plot in both books anyway) I think 2 is enough for the kids couples especially since they have so many kids to work through and they can always do big group books with like short stories for the couple's, I was also wondering what you thought about xander content because that's what I'm looking forward to right now lol when I get out of this slump 😭
yeah i was thinking this too! personally i don’t read these books for the smut and i honestly found it a little refreshing that it wasn’t constantly being shoved in my face for once lol but i totally see how it’s out of the norm for both kbr and the genre so it was a weird choice. there were def ways they could’ve incorporated more. however i thought that lunnelly lived up to their aesthetic way more than i expected them to! they had so many cinematic scenes that i could literally see moodboards for in my mind lol
i agree that people are being too hateful about it! like yes there’s a lot of cringe but if you’ve been reading kbr’s books up until now and somehow weren’t expecting that then maybe we haven’t been reading the same books the whole time lmao. it’s always been clear to me that kbr have a warped perception of how their characters should act and a very outdated lens of the fandom world (which makes sense because they write it how they knew it when they were young) and now it just comes off as cringey or unrealistic because they take it overboard. especially when luna’s books are the first time we’re seeing a truly fandom obsessed character basically since lily it could have been a bit of culture shock for some if they expected a more modern narration from luna. honestly i just read these books for fun and people end up taking it way too serious if you ask me. a cringey element or two does not a bad book make
i think i have to disagree about a lack of tension! there were def parts i found it lacking or written a bit strangely (which i just chalk up to this being their first time writing it so i think it’s normal for them to still be figuring out the best way to do it) but overall the mutual pining really worked for me and i think there was a great balance between them trying to hide their feelings vs who had suspicions and great scenes with loren that didn’t feel overly dragged out or too unreasonable on his end. sexual tension could be another story but i still don’t think it was completely missing, maybe you’ll change your mind if you keep reading
personally i love lunnelly so i’m not even sure three books will be enough for me 💞 but i see your point! i feel like cobaretti and kitsulletti both had stories that were dragged out way past what they needed to be and kbr kind of shoot themselves in the feet with how they keep making the books so long but then struggle with sticking to release dates and planning how they can execute an entire series for all the kids
xander is my honey!! i was so happy we got to see him in the book :) i don’t think he’s super prominent but def had way more scenes than in the other books. we got a lot of cute scenes with all the hale family / the siblings that i really appreciated <3 and i love the donnelly / xander bond so i think you have a lot to look forward to if he’s your fav
#but keep your hopes reasonable pleasw 😩 if you end up disappointed i don’t want to be the one that overhyped it LMAO#asks#anonymous#kbr asks
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Morgan makes no sense IMO. I cannot imagine Tony having the mindset to have kids after what happened to Peter. He'd be too scared because he "failed" his first one (Peter). Why would he risk "failing" another? He wouldn't. You can argue he "recovered", but losing a child isn't something you easily recover from. Plus, we've seen that Tony's had trouble with PTSD already. Attempting another kid wouldn't help recovery IMO. Okay, I think I'm done sending asks. Sorry for spamming you.
The thing about Morgan, is that they did dirty to this kid too. They should've brought this child much later, not in the middle of a post-apocalyptic world where everyone is mourning and having the breakdown of their lives.
Disclaimer: lmao I have to leave these because later some angry anons want to beat the hell out of me hahaha. This is just my opinion yall, you don't have to agree or take this as a fact. It's just a personal opinion.
What Endgame basically told us is that Tony bargained Peter with Morgan as a way to cope with the loss.
'I got my second chance right here, Cap. Can't roll the dice on it.'
A child should be conceived not as a way to cope with someone's death but out of the desire of having it under the right conditions, just like at the beginning of Infinity War, Tony was excited about having said child and the time would've been great for them especially because they were about the get married. Endgame practically told yall -Here, he's married just like you wanted, here’s the child yall asked for and now he can die, satisfied?-
Grief, in some determined occasions, takes the form of negotiating with the universe to prevent the source of grief. The same Tony who couldn’t sleep after New York, the one who couldn’t stop thinking about the biggest threat out there for years, the Avenger that walked with never ending paranoia in his mind, the one that told Steve in CW that he didn’t want to stop being Iron Man, the one that prepared himself in every possible way for that said threat, failed. And that failure took the form of denial and bargain instead of acceptance, he was never going to be ok with what happened in IW (it’s not who he is), this is why Tony was already working on the time machine concept, it is clear from the discussion between him and Scott that, that wasn’t his first rodeo with the idea. He tried to live as if he was having the happy family he ever wanted (not saying he doesn’t want Pepper or Morgan, I’m saying he had those things at the wrong time and therefore, he couldn’t enjoy them like he wanted to). Some could say ‘and this is why he enjoys his family more because he values human life on a new level and understands the significance of loss in a deeper way now’ but what happened in IW wasn’t a normal tragedy, it was a world-changing cataclysm and Tony would never give up an opportunity to try and fix things, he was pretending he could live that way (denial).
And Pepper called him out on it ‘but would you be able to rest?’ because she knows. This is not healthy grieving. Imagine Tony full of guilt, pain, remorse and his mental stability in hell: 'What a great time to have a kid :D might as well have a child since I lost the last one!' messed up af. He put Peter's picture in the freaking kitchen, where he would see his face every single day every time he’d wake up. This is mental torture. Tony was haunted, asking a man who is essentially mentally destroyed to enjoy his life in the middle of chaos it’s like asking a depressed person to just smile to cure their illness. It’s not that easy.
They made Morgan a do-over of sorts because Tony feels like he gets to have a second chance with her but is this really fair to Morgan? He was covering up Peter’s loss with Morgan and not many are willing to accept this because they refuse to see that these writers/directors were too greedy to care about character development, instead they cared more about Oscar nominations, beating Avatar, getting the applause from the average critics saying ‘wow! they do have the balls to take these risks!’, etc. Look at Steve Rogers lmaooo fighting for Bucky for years to the point that he’d even become a war criminal for him and fight all of his teammates to just let that opportunity go in EG HAHAHAHA no fucking sense.
The reality is, as much as people like to pretend they really care about some issues (mental illness, right representation, etc), and the whole campaign they do online about how much they care about them (reblogging stuff, retweeting, making posts about it, making videos about it etc). That ‘caring’ goes out of the window the minute something on screen that they really want or like appears (could be a character, a ship, a storyline, etc). We are all like this. All of us lmao. Take this example:
Far from home: instead of focusing on spideychelle, they should’ve let them develop and let Peter heal first since Peter went from fighting the Vulture to fighting one of the most dangerous warlords in the galaxy, then he died and then he watched Tony die.
Someone who is not biased would tell you: ‘you’re right, damn. I wanted the right mental health representation that a character like Spider-Man can give us’.
Whereas a shipper would tell you: ‘It’s a fucking movie and they’re teenagers, just enjoy it’.
And this happens to everyone when it comes to something they like, while some love it, some others are not going to agree. Many didn’t like NWH because it completely erased Peter’s journey with Tony and some others are celebrating it because they hated Tony and Peter’s connection. Same here with Morgan, some people don’t like her because they think it was rushed and took away Tony’s time to grieve and some others are happy because they wanted Tony to have a baby with Pepper and are satisfied with it even if they don’t get more content.
To get to that point (where you are strongly biased about something), you need to understand that disliking a character or a storyline doesn’t come from blatant self-interest, it comes from hint-at expection. They misdirected their audience with a negative outcome. The writers promised the audience something from the characters because of their previous stories portrayed in their own movies and they jumped over those because they couldn’t agree on how to handle them (because they cared more about other things). The writers and directors saying contradictory things about the plot proves that.
#morgan stark#peter parker#tony stark#iron man#irondad#spiderson#spider-man#endgame#mcu#marvel#pepper potts#no way home
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— ❝︎ 𝐘𝐎𝐔 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐎 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍! 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐔. ·˚ ༘
♡︎ : the atmosphere i'm going for is frustratingly difficult to describe djjfjg the word "somber" doesn't really do it for me, but it's pretty much these emojis 🌑🌨🎞💸🚬⛓🔭
lowkey just wanted to put this trio & y/n (aka the loml) in a really dark, gloomy, modern metropolis type of place full of cold weather, inner monologues, and cigarettes JFKGK
ALSO my insp was the reiner + annie fanart in the center of the divider i made!! i really wish i knew the artist, but i couldn't find them :(( definitely NOT taking credit, it isn't my art whatsoever. but LOOK AT THEM UGH THE AESTHETIC
to balance things out, i wrote the reader as female! && characters are aged up to their early twenties.
the bunch of you met through your college courses— of course, the three of them had known one another since childhood, but you managed to weasel your way into their close-knit friend group. ever since then, you all share the melancholy city life.
during your guys' campus days, reiner worked for his master's in kinesiology. it isn't that big of a shocker that he aimed for something that pertained to his bulkier build,, mans grows up to be an absolute unit, lmao. wanting to maintain an above average salary, he used his education to earn himself a place in the certified training department. currently, he's a personal trainer of many clients, all of which he does his best to maintain.
bertholdt majored in philosophy, and worked toward his master's degree. with his intelligence, he got it. while all three of you (reiner especially), urged him to pursue non-profit professionalism, praising his skill and all around ability to do so, he lacked the confidence to push for it, and ended up going down another path. currently, he's sticking to the safe road, aiming to become a professor in the very course he excelled in. he's yet to get there, though— right now, he's a professor's assistant. it's less tiring, at least. still, he was capable of becoming something better.
as for annie, she majored in political science. unlike the other two, she worked to obtain a bachelor's degree. with that being said, she attended college for a little longer. eventually, she got her degree, and while she was a little lost after graduation, she made her way into the policy analyst game. she had the writing skills, sOmewhat of the drive, and while she's the youngest worker in her office, she's also the brightest. they're all also terrified of her, she speaks .6 words a day.
of course, what you did is entirely up to you! if you took two or three years to get your degree, you likely graduated alongside the boys. if it took longer, no worries, annie's degree took quite a bit.
now, the four of you are living in the same city, and you're all experiencing that said city's constant mournful, dingy atmosphere. the aesthetic is calming, actually; the weather is never nice, it's a rarity that you ever get an actual glimpse of the sun. no matter the season, so long as it isn't summertime, layers are a must. rainfall is a weekly occurrence, as well as the occasional thunderstorm. the merged stench of coffee grounds and burnt oil linger within the streets of the city, simply adding to the melancholy. basically, the general scenery is dark, cold, wet, and quiet. it's a gloomy place,, definitely comparable to forks, washington, but more of a metropolis than a town.
even with all of that being said, you and your friends have a good time. honestly, if you didn't all have eachother, you'd all probably go mental.
while reiner and bertholdt have their own seperate apartments, you and annie share a place. the rent was cheap, especially once split between two homeowners. two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a single kitchen & living area. it was too good of a deal to pass up. fortunately, you and her are compatible roomates.
with that being said, of course, it's often that the four lounge around at your guys' apartment. bertholdt always makes sure to check in before visiting, while reiner has the sour habit of showing up unannounced. you've both had to deny him a key, despite his pleading. you love him, but not that much.
sometimes, the two of them crash in your living room. typically, it's reiner on the couch while bertholdt takes up the floor, waking up the next morning in whatever flamboyant position he'd folded himself into during the night. every now and then, you and annie forget to head back to your rooms, and you crash right there with them. before you all fall asleep, you're typically all huddled up near the glass doored balcony, allowing the rainfall to serenade the four of you into a deep slumber whilst sitting within the crisp remnants of cigarette smoke and freshly opened liquor.
in a way, it's funny, because you all have a tendency to do that on a work night. just the four of you, sitting in your living room, drinking your alcohol, coating your furniture in the brisk stench of pure, solicited nicotine, watching your very own city drown within the darkening sky's tears as little to zero words are even spoken. when it comes to you and your friends, that's something that can never be contradicted; the quiet. these were how you spent your evenings together, especially after a rough day— silence, smoking, and the most peaceful sorrow imaginable.
of course, when you aren't wallowing in your own self pity, you're known to get drinks together. there's this certain booth in a local pub, it had burnt burgundy seats made out of leather. it's your guys' booth, and whenever you go out for a drink or two, that's where you sit. it's way back in the corner, where none of you can be bothered. one time, a couple of rascals had stolen it, and they refused to move. without a second thought, annie slammed one of those motherfucker's faces into the table. in suite, reiner took care of the other one, yanking him from the collar and kicking him to the floor. you and bertholdt only watched,, you were laughing, poor bert simply dragGed his palm down his face.
hey, at least you got your seats back! absentmindedly, you etched your initials into the bottom of the table with your pen. without a thought, the other three did the same, marking the corner as their own. don't fuck with that table, you'll be slaughtered.
when winter hits, it hits mercilessly. it's insanely aesthetic, seeing your group standing on the side of the busy street, all absolutely layered up in buttoned up winter coats and thickly knitted scarves. because they're both unnecessarily large, you depend on them for warmth every now and then. the amount of times you've buried your face within reiner's side while sitting on the subway during the midst of wintertime is stupid. as for bertholdt, he occasionally takes off his very own coat, draping it over you or annie's shoulders whenever either of you are seen shivering. he doesn't mind getting a cold, so long as you're warm.
speaking of the subway, your city has one. it's a pretty average way to travel, and due to none of you actually owning your own vehicles, it's where you go whenever walking or taking the bus isn't an option. the only one who isn't allowed to ride the subway alone is you. there was instance where on your way home from work, you had a run-in with an unpleasant bystander with the means to hurt you. ever since then, a code has been set where if you want to travel underground, you do it with one of them.
^ one time, you didn't listen, and you went by yourself anyway— unfortunately for you, reiner was boarding the exact same stop as you, and gave you quite the scolding. however, it's only because you're special to him. to all of them.
you and annie are actually closer than you'd imagine. being one of the only female friends she's ever been able to keep, you've grown to be an important figure in her life. of course, she'd never admit that to you, but you know. some nights, the two of you lean against one another on the sofa while black & white reruns play on the television, ultimately sending you both to sleep.
once a week, you have lunch with bertholdt at the university he assists at. you know just how glum the work makes him, and fortunately, you showing up every single sunday with coffee and sandwiches never fails to brighten his day. sometimes, you're the only one that can get him through the week.
bert's crush on annie is still very much a thing, even in this universe. of course, he's older, and for the most part, he's grown out of it. still, he stares. not as much as he once did, but he does. you and reiner only watch from afar, quietly sullen that he'd never quite gotten the guts to act on it.
bertholdt is also the group's umbrella holder. it's constantly raining, and due to his height, he's the one holding the bigass umbrella over the four of your guys' heads. when there isn't an umbrella, you just sort of seek refuse underneath his arms, which he gladly gives you. reiner and annie don't really mind, they get wet. it is a thing where you're all rushing to get out of the rain, the two men shielding the women's hair from the storm with their jackets as they run for shelter.
you all smoke. well, actually, whether or not you smoke cigarettes in this scenario is entirely up to you. if you'd like, ignore this part. anyway, cigarette sharing is a given. while reiner's preferred brand of darts is far more lucrative and more likely to kill him (he's dead inside, it fits), he won't hesitate to snatch a cigarette from in between the tips of your lips, bringing them to his own. it's something all of you do, even bertholdt. sharing is caring, you all say. you tend to do the same thing with wine glasses, or beer bottles.
it's practically gotham city, you're all dead inside grownups, god isn't real.
irllydidn'tlikehowthisturnedout-
#attack on titan#aot#shingeki no kyojin#snk#aot headcanons#aot au#aot scenarios#reiner braun#bertholdt hoover#annie leonhart#aot x reader#attack on titan x reader#modern aot
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Kasumi, for the character ask game!
First impression - equal parts "hell yeah cool thief who can turn invisible" and confusion as to why her being dlc meant i couldn't actually Talk to her on the normandy like most of the other squadmates.
Impression now - one of the most likeable squadmates in me2, also super useful from a gameplay standpoint (especially early in the game; she's a fucking lifesaver in the obnoxious "close the shutters" part of garrus' recruitment mission).
Favorite moment - i really enjoy the ending of her loyalty mission, with her using keiji's graybox and getting to "see" him again and be reminded of how much he loved her, because i'm a sucker for tragic romantic stuff like that. also her popping up at opportune moments during the citadel party was great and fun overall, though i could have done without some of the uncomfortable sexual jokes the writers seemed to think were so funny (the whole jack and miranda conversation comes to mind)
Idea for a story - she should have gotten a mission in me3 that was actually Hers instead of being shoehorned into something that wasn't at all relevant to her as a character. i actually get to do this in my canon since i repurpose the "indoctrinated hanar diplomat" plot for one of my drell rebellion missions on kahje, so kasumi gets a different mission that's all her own. i like the concept of this mission being about helping her steal from rich assholes who are hoarding wealth and resources in this time of crisis, and giving these resources to people who desperately need them. i mean hell, she already is shown doing essentially this in the citadel dlc, i think it'd be really cool if the idea was expanded into a full mission and shepard actually got to help her do it.
Unpopular opinion - i don't know if i really have one about her as a character, other than the me3 stuff i just talked about? but re: her loyalty mission i wish you could have brought a second squadmate. i want to see my squadmates in fancy clothes, and also the combat on that mission is kinda hard and it would be a lot less hard with two squadmates.
Favorite relationship - kasumi/jacob is an underrated ship. i like the idea of it progressing into more than just her lusting over him from afar (or, more accurately i guess, lusting over him from pretty close up but cloaked so he can't see her lmao). i'm into the concept of them getting to know each other better and being brought together by the war; like, what if in my canon where kasumi gets her own mission, jacob's group of ex-cerberus refugees is one of the groups she's giving that stolen food and supplies to? and they bond over that? i dunno, there's definitely potential to grow this pairing beyond "she watches him do a thousand pushups and thinks he's really hot." i also wish we'd gotten more snippets of her relationship with keiji (but no i'm probably not gonna read the comic about them because i'm sure it's as bad as the thane/irikah comic and will just frustrate me)
Favorite headcanon - i've seen several people post headcanons about her and thane striking up a little friendship, and i think it makes sense. their rooms are right next to each other, they're both the "shadowy sneaky criminal with a heart of gold" type, and in bioware's version of canon they both are mourning their respective romantic partners. i definitely enjoy the idea of them as friends.
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Fruits Basket - Vol 21
"What do you have there?"
"A knife!"
"NO-"
That's probably all I can say about this one lmao
Kyo's still thinking back to when he met Kyoko, and how he felt about her as a kid. It was strange to him, in a way, but very welcoming, because unlike the majority of people around him, she treated him like a spunky kiddo(that's what she called him because he never told her his name) who seemed to have a hard life, but still seemed nice. In other words, Kyoko treated him kindly, something that Kyo had only experienced with Kazuma, which is extremely heartbreaking, oh my god.
But that only made what happened later hurt that much more, when she died. He heard her say that she won't forgive him, and those words have stuck with him to this day. After Kyoko's death, Kazuma took Kyo to the mountains, "to train". There wasn't much training, honestly, because Kyo was thrown into the depths of just,, self-hatred, mourning, regret, all of it. The only way he could get out of it was to place blame elsewhere, and that elsewhere was Yuki. It was easy, to be expected, almost encouraged in a way. It's not even that Yuki did anything in particular (I doubt they were even around each other enough for Yuki to actually do anything to Kyo), it's just that it was easier. And that helped Kyo enough that Kazuma let him return back home, which is around the time that Tohru showed up at Shigure's house, and the start of the series. When Kyo first saw Tohru, he couldn't believe it. He just wasn't allowed to forget what had happened, was he? It was interesting, in a way, to finally meet the girl that Kyoko was always talking about, to finally hear her voice rather than a picture, anecdotes, and a lonesome dinner. But it also hurt. In the end, he says he won't forgive himself, and he doesn't expect Tohru to forgive him either, for holding all of this back.
Tohru doesn't like that though, only having those two options: to forgive or not. It's really not that simple. She doubts that her mom meant that, "I won't forgive you", because she wasn't that kind of person, and even if she did mean it, Tohru's going against it, because her love for Kyo overpowers her love for her mom. She screams at him that she loves him, regardless of all of that. It doesn't matter dude! He can't believe it though, and he runs off, with Yuki, who overheard a portion of all of this, chasing after Kyo, with the spirit of "jfc you fucking moron get back here".
Oh remember Akito? And how she was thinking about Tohru? And how she has a knife? Well, she just entered the chat. 🔪🔪
She enters the chat by vaguely saying that the curse is breaking, to Tohru, who at the moment is partially occupied with thinking how fucking miserable Kyo looked before he ran off, but now Akito's here. (That sounds bad, like a "now Tohru has to deal with Akito 🙄" thing, that's not really what I mean. Tohru's just going through a few things at the moment) She asks Tohru if she's happy now, now that Akito has became the outsider, the loner, the bad guy, after waltzing into her life (and the lives of the Sohmas) and completely disrupting it, without a speck of dirt on her hands. Tohru's putting two and two together and steps toward Akito, asking if she was there the whole time (at this point Tohru did not know Akito had a knife), and oh jeez Akito just slashed at Tohru. Despite Akito yelling at Tohru to stay back, Tohru starts thinking of things through Akito's lens, how this whole time, Akito must have been so lonely. She was marveled for being God, but because of that (and her lashing out but hush), no one ever wanted to be around her. She was told that she was above everyone else, and she treated them as such, and they did the same back to her.
Tohru mentioned how Akito always spoke of permanence, because it was the only thing that Akito ever had to hold onto. Akito lashes out at that (i don't think she cut Tohru, but Tohru does end up having two cuts, so i think this was the second, both times they were just on her arms), saying that Tohru doesn't know what she's talking about, she won't fall for Tohru's crap! She can't be won over by nice little words like everyone else (are you sure about that dude). Tohru doesn't really deny it, she agrees that she is dirty, and bad. She wished for her own permanence, to forever be with her mom, but that didn't and couldn't happen. She says that realizing this is very lonely, realizing that you can't make anything stay, you can't grab onto it with all your might and beg for it to stay, it will move on in its own time. This ends up further upsetting Akito, thinking back to Akira and what he said to her as a child. She screams that she doesn't want to be left behind, alone in this huge world of strangers who don't know or care about about, or need her. She's terrified, and she says there's no saying that someone could ever love her, she'll be all alone when the curse breaks. Tohru then offers to be her friend. (Honestly this scene is kinda heartbreaking for me, seeing Tohru all scuffed up with tears in her eyes, offering to be Akito's friend. This girl does so fucking much all the time, regardless of the fact that she just heard that the boy she loves was involved in some way to her mother's death, her personal crisis of Kyo becoming more important to her than Kyoko, and now she's cut up and bloody, probably soaked through by the rain, trying to console a thoroughly upset Akito, like,, jfc Tohru)
Akito smacks Tohru's outstretched hand, saying she's mocking her, that when Akito starts to get upset, she'll get irritated, when Akito complains, she'll get mad, she'll hate Akito, she'll abandon her, but Tohru just puts out a hand, offering to be Akito's friend regardless. And once Akito realizes that Tohru would totally be there for her if she needed Tohru, Tohru literally falls off a cliff. Kinda. Do you remember back in the beginning of the series when Shigure mentioned that the ground is kinda unstable, and that's why there was a landslide? This is the same kind of thing, the ground crumbled underneath Tohru, and she fell. The first time I read that scene, I wasn't entirely sure if it was a metaphorical thing or not. It was not.
After Tohru fell, Akito just started screaming (fair enough, honestly), screaming for someone to come help, anyone! Shigure and Yuki come (and off in the undisclosed distance, Kyo also hears the cries), and Shigure actually asks Akito if she pushed Tohru off. Akito manages to explain what happens, and Yuki calls an ambulance. Shigure takes Akito back to the house, and a little bit later Kyo comes back to the house, and overhears Shigure explaining things to Hatori over the phone, and fuckin bolts over to where Tohru is. She's unconscious, scuffed, with cuts and blood on her, and holy shit, remember that one dream Kyo had a while back? Yeah, well, this looks wayyy too close for comfort to that dream, and Kyo's pretty freaked out. Distantly, Tohru can hear him crying, and she's just like, "Don't cry, it'll be okay, there's no reason to cry." She thought about how she worried that her love for Kyo ended up hurting him, and she was sorry for that, but she couldn't help it. It's revealed that Tohru fell in love with Kyo around the time of the Dark Form/True Form thing was going down, I think when Kazuma first showed up. She wishes for Kyo to be able to live a full life, even if it's hard, even if they aren't together. (Very emotional stuff, really.)
The next day, Yuki sees Tohru's grandfather at the hospital (who is visiting Tohru as well), and he asks about "that orange-headed boy", and Yuki says he was just an idiot that has bad timing, and he made Tohru cry. He can make her happy better than anyone, and he did that. He stopped himself short, but Tohru's grandfather was like, "About that," and presumably told Yuki to fucking brawl with Kyo, because that's exactly what he did after hearing from Haru that Kyo didn't try to see to Tohru. Before the fists went flying, Yuki asked Kyo about it, and Kyo said it was for the better, that all he'd do was hurt Tohru further. He couldn't protect Tohru when she needed it, he didn't want to do further harm.
Now the scene has shifted to the hospital, with two people being stuck in bed: Tohru and Kureno. Kyo tries to see Tohru, to apologize, to talk, something, but Hanajima and Uotani are not having it. Hanajima points out that apologizing wouldn't even mean anything, because Tohru doesn't blame Kyo for anything that happened. Hanajima says that there's other things that Kyo needs to do before he can see Tohru. Certain Things, and honestly I'm not sure if she was just bullshitting and using her ominousness to her advantage or if she actually knew something, but Kyo agreed (internally, anyway): there was something he had to do before seeing Tohru again.
Yuki might as well have said that was complete and utter bullshit, who does Kyo fuckin think he is? A goddamn superhero, able to fly in the second Tohru's in trouble? Doesn't he see the way Tohru acts around him? The way she smiles whenever he's near? Kyo's shocked by that, but he doesn't like the way Yuki said it, so he asked why couldn't Yuki do it (this is actually out of order but shh), he's already so perfect and shit. Basically, he's finally saying that he has always envied Yuki, because it just seemed like he got everything that Kyo wanted, especially when they were kids. Through the flying kicks and punches, Yuki says the same thing, but in the end, he can only be himself, same thing for Kyo. Neither of them (or anyone else) can be anything other than themselves, and sometimes there are things that only one person can do. In this case, only Kyo can kinda,, make her happy, I guess. I think that was the implication, which is nice. Kyo then goes off to see Tohru at the hospital, but the visiting hours are over, but y'know it's the thought that counts, right?
(Meanwhile) (btw how many times do these kinda things wreck Shigure's house like can they not take these things outside or something)
On the part of Uotani and Hanajima (and really everyone else who is visiting Tohru at this time), there's another level to keeping Kyo out: it's that everyone kinda knows that Tohru might be a little messed up if she did see Kyo again so soon after that whole shpeal that happened before Akito showed up. Tohru had a bomb dropped on her, and then she helped Akito calm down, and then she fell off a cliff; she didn't have any time to process the things that Kyo told her, especially that last line of his, the whole, "I'm disillusioned" thing, which all the significance that I personally can find within it is that he said that he wouldn't be disillusioned when Tohru was telling him about her father, but there really seems to be a bigger thing here that I'm not getting, idk. Anyway, there's that whole mess as well. Besides from that, there also seems to be this idea, I guess, that once Tohru is around Kyo again, they won't really be apart, so this is kinda like the last few moments with just Tohru? Or something? Hanajima and Uotani were talking about how Kyo's gonna "steal Tohru away", and seeing as Tohru is their close friend, I suppose it makes sense, from a selfish perspective (but not in a bad way), that they would want to "have" Tohru as long as they could.
Meanwhile (y'know that 60s Batman scene transition thing? That's always what I imagine when I write that, with the music included. Imagine how annoying it'd be if I put in a gif of it every time), Akito is having a Struggle Moment. She's at the hospital, and holy fuck is she guilty about stabbing Kureno, which is nice she totally should be it'd be really concerning if she wasn't, and Momiji pops up and asks if Akito came to see Kureno or Tohru (oof that guilt it's now been doubled), and Akito bursts out with confusion: why doesn't Kureno blame her?! He could've (should've-- wait what) blamed her, gotten angry, something?? Momiji says that it's because Kureno and Tohru (because Akito also visits Tohru) are that kind of stupid: they just don't blame people for things, they're always allowing for forgiveness. So why question it, why not just accept that Kureno isn't angry at her, isn't blaming her, just accept the kindness.
Akito thinks back on when she visited Kureno, and he asked her if she was okay. She thinks that if she had said she wasn't, that Kureno would have gone back to her side, and stayed with her, despite what she had done to him. He would stay with her until she no longer needed him, because he just has that kind of unselfish kindness. This kindness, in retrospect, doesn't make Akito feel much better though, as she thinks (realizes?) that she's basically been killing him, this whole time (before the stabbing, of course). No apology could fix this, no matter what Kureno would say, Akito wouldn't ever stop feeling bad for what she had said and done, not to him but to the other Juunishi as well (I suppose the Sohma family as a whole, honestly). Momiji just says that Akito has to take care of Kureno from now on, and to make sure that she doesn't do something like this again. Then he tells Akito a story (i don't get to hear it and that makes me quite sad ngl) and later Akito visits Tohru. But that'll be talked about later. Now we're talking about
(60s Batman transition sound) Yuki! And the other people in the student council. Kakeru mentions how the school is abuzz with what happened to Tohru, and how rumor has it that Kyo's the one who got her in the hospital. (Yuki doesn't really deny that, btw) Unsurprisingly, it's not really something that he has talked about, seeing as it's not very casual conversation, and it is a bit of a downer, but he realizes that he's not too upset by it. (By that I mean the overall recent series of events, not solely Tohru's accident) I guess violence is the answer, sometimes.
Kimi then asks what Yuki's relationship with Tohru even is, and Kakeru, unfiltered as usual, just drops, "She's like his mom, in his mind" as if that wasn't something that Yuki was struggling with for a long time??? Whatever dude, but one day Yuki'll probably have his revenge. At any rate, there were a lot of shots to Machi doing her thing, so if it wasn't already clear from the story so far, Yuki likes Machi. If you hadn't picked that up, it's a whole thing.
Anyway, later on Yuki and Kakeru are looking for get-well gifts for Tohru, and Kakeru just straight up says, "If I don't know what to give to someone, I'll just choose something I like, so that if they don't like it, I can take it, and I'll like it," which, as it turns out, Machi does the same thing. (That comes later but it's the not most important thing so shh) After getting a gift, Kakeru says that he's going to visit Tohru, but he insists on doing it alone, and so Yuki wanders off, walking down the street (he's makin his way downtown, walkin fast, faces pass), and he thinks about how, when he was in big crowds, he used to wonder, if he disappeared, would anyone really notice? Now though, that's not really a worry. He knows that there is at least one person who would notice, who would be worried if he disappeared. And holy shmow, he just found the perfect gift for her! He calls up Machi, and they meet up at a train station, I think, I'm pretty sure it's a train station idk I've never been in one, and it turns out that she got a gift for him as well. (It's fertilizer, remember back to that scene, with the,, yeah. Ok.)
The gift is a big Mogeta doll (probably like a stuffed animal), like the one that Ayame had in his shop, except he had the gall to write on it? Machi said that it was a limited exclusive item, but Yuki managed to find it (for a fair price too, apparently), and she really likes it. She says she'd like to thank Tohru for what she's done to help Yuki become who he is presently, that she's really glad that she was able to meet Yuki, because without him, she definitely wouldn't be the person she is today. It was some super soft stuff, there were plenty of "aw"s when I read that whole interaction. They're so fucking cute, it's great.
Anyway, other than Kakeru asking Hatori what he ate to look that handsome (which is something I still can't get over), there wasn't much else to the book, so I'll finally end this (I took several days in between writing this it's inexcusable). Yay ✨✨
#seriously though i do like machi and yuki's relationship it's so nice#if asked i'd do a very bad job of explaining it so i'll leave that to the essay analysists but yeah i like them a lot#i should probably just get straight into the tags#anyway#tohru honda#yuki sohma#kyo sohma#kyoko honda#shigure sohma#akito sohma#kureno sohma#hanajima saki#uotani arisa#momiji sohma#kakeru kuragi#machi kuragi#fruits basket#furuba#fruits basket vol 21#fruits basket volume 21
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