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cecilysass · 11 months

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Pause (7/11)

Read on AO3 | Tagging @today-in-fic

Chapter 7: Security

She watches him sleep for a moment in the morning light before she attempts to wake him. “Mulder.”

It’s a heart-tuggingly familiar sight, him asleep on the couch, tangled in his Navajo blanket. His mouth slightly open, his limbs akimbo, a single beam of light falling over his chest from the window.

This is time for neither nostalgia nor blatant admiration. She stands over him, determined to have no mercy. “Mulder, wake up.”

He stirs under the blanket, but offers no other response. In frustration she nudges him with the back of her hand. His eyes crack open, and through blinks, there is a soft and dreamy look of recognition. That expression burns away quickly, turning into something wary, sharp.

“Yes. It’s me,” she says to him. “Back from the dead. Boo.”

Brow furrowed, he places his hands defensively over his face. “Not ready to joke about that yet,” he mumbles.

“When it comes to my death, I get to decide when to make the jokes. Get up and get dressed, Mulder. We’re supposed to go talk to the rental car employees.”

“What time is it?” he says blearily, trying to look past her to see the time on his VCR.

“Time to get up and going,” she replies. “The day is wasting.”

“Are you already showered and dressed?” he asks, squinting at her. “Why are you so energetic?”

“Slept like the dead, I guess,” she quips, walking over to raise his blinds.

He groans, either in reaction to her joke or the abrupt blast of daylight.

“I’ll start some coffee,” she says. “You go take a shower. Don’t dawdle.”

“All right, all right,” he says helplessly, sitting up.

“You’ve obviously been allowed to keep your own undisciplined nocturnal hours for too long.”

He throws her a hard look, shifting his legs off the side of the couch. “Yeah. Your demise was hell on my schedule.”

“Luckily I’m back.” She stops walking halfway across the living room, turning to reconsider him more gently. “You’ll feel better after you’re showered and caffeinated,” she says. “Just get moving, Mulder.”

***

Scully had dressed that morning as professionally she could: in a pair of jeans and a white tee shirt, plus a light blue cardigan that apparently used to be hers.

As they walk towards Mulder’s car, she plucks at her too-tight jeans in agitation. The outfit is just much too casual for interviewing witnesses. It’s something she would wear to run errands on the weekend, and then only if she wasn’t stopping by the Hoover building, which she almost always was. She looks resentfully at Mulder, sporting his expensive tie and coat, as always. The awareness of being underdressed—of looking like she doesn’t fit next to him—is almost unbearable to her. She wonders what happened to all of her carefully curated black suits.

Still, as she climbs into the passenger seat of Mulder’s car, she can’t help but feel a little giddy, too. It’s hard not to be excited by an expedition out into the world, into the bright sunshine of the twenty-first century. And an expedition with Mulder, as his partner, in practice if not in any official sense.

They’ve both brought coffee in to-go mugs. Mulder is gulping his down eagerly, but she’s sipping hers more cautiously. She hasn’t felt truly poorly yet this morning, but her stomach doesn’t feel entirely settled regardless. They each place their cups in their traditional places in the cup holders without even discussing it, and those familiar actions make her inexplicably happy, as though she is back where she belongs.

“Forty-five minutes to the Lariat in Annapolis,” Mulder announces, turning to the mirror to adjust his sunglasses as she fastens her seat belt.

“Probably at least an hour in rush hour,” Scully says. “Unless rush hour has been eliminated in the twenty-first century?”

“Alas, no. Do you want to listen to your teen tunes, or are we going to make conversation?”

“Conversation,” she says carefully.

“Okay,” Mulder says, starting the ignition. “How about those Yankees?”

“Actually, I’ve been wanting to ask you about something.”

Mulder clears his throat, adjusting the mirror back. That spot on his jaw clenches again. “Yeah?”

“Have you developed any working theory about this, Mulder?” She watches as he starts the car, then she takes a tiny, precise sip of her coffee. “About what is happening with me?”

“Hmm,” he says, a faint crease between his eyes. He begins backing out of the parking spot. “Not really.”

She waits a moment while he straightens the wheel, and then she tries again. It’s not like Mulder not to have any ideas. “I know you have your doubts. But let’s suppose for a moment I really am who I seem to be. Can you think of any reason why someone would want to fake my death? And why someone would want to return me as though no time had elapsed?”

His eyes dart towards her and then back to the road, as he maneuvers the car into a turn on to a bigger road.

There is a pause.

“I’ve given this some thought, obviously,” he says, his voice low and serious. “It seems like something various players in the Syndicate could be capable of, but they’re… reduced in numbers these days. And why would they do this? What would be the purpose of putting you on pause?”

“It would have to be in someone’s best interests. Was I working on anything that might be relevant? Were we?”

He shakes his head slowly. “I can’t think of anything specific. I mean, any of our work could be relevant.”

“It could be to make sure I wasn’t around for a certain frame of time,” Scully says softly. “It could be to make sure you were distracted. But … why keep me in some kind of preserved state? And why return me? Why not just kill me?”

Mulder changes lanes in silence, guiding the wheel until the car glides to the right. He slowly shakes his head. “I don’t know. It doesn’t make much sense.”

She studies his impassive face. Which is why you doubt it’s really me, don’t you, Mulder? You don’t think Scully is alive.

“Well,” she says, “maybe we can start to get some of the missing pieces at the Lariat.”

Mulder nods, keeping his eyes diligently on the road. “Yeah,” he says. “Maybe.”

***

When they pull into the Lariat parking lot, Scully realizes that she isn’t the only one looking forward to doing some work in the field. Mulder seems to grow more energetic as they walk into the building, speeding up the pace of his stride, holding the door for Scully as they walk in, even giving her a tiny smile.

Although it is still early morning, the store is teeming with customers, waiting in a winding line and sitting in most available seats. Mulder walks confidently past the line of impatient travelers and businesspeople to the front counter, flashing his badge and speaking winningly to an assistant manager whose name tag reads Lew.

“Dana… Scully, yeah.” The young man nods his head, looking down at the computer. “That’s the name on the reservation. It was reserved three weeks ago. Medium sedan.”

Lew is no older than early twenties, pale, round-faced, a little whiff of a mustache growing over his lip. He vaguely reminds Scully of unbaked dough, a thought she immediately dismisses as unkind.

“We’re going to need to talk to anyone who was working here the evening she came in to pick up the car,” Mulder says, a beseeching smile.

Lew gestures to a uniformed girl with a pierced nose and pigtails working the register. “That’d be Jess. She’s worked every day this week.” Jess turns her head and nods mournfully.

“Great,” Mulder says. “We’ll talk to Jess. And if you have any lot or front door security footage, we’d like to see that as well.”

Lew looks up from the computer screen in disbelief. “There are hours of tapes. It will take forever to find.”

“Thank you, Lew,” Scully says, trying her own version of a warm peacemaking smile. It seems to have a better effect than Mulder’s; Lew seems to freeze in awe. “We appreciate your hard work. Let us know when you’re able to find it.”

Lew gapes at her and turns away, walking off towards the back. Watching him, Mulder leans into her, a wry expression on his face. “There’s that generation you’re so hopeful about, Scully.”

“Shhh.”

“I bet he was born in the 1980s.”

“He’s going to help us with no warrant, Mulder. Which is nice of him—they’re obviously very busy with the holiday weekend coming up.”

“Ask him what music he listens to. Maybe you can get some recommendations.”

“Lew likes Eminem,” Jess offers, overhearing as she approaches them. She turns around to speak to another young employee with a high ponytail and hoop earrings. “Karla, can you handle the front alone for a sec?”

Karla gestures indignantly towards the long line of customers, but then, taking in Mulder and Scully more carefully, nods reluctantly, turning to speak to the first customer in the line.

Jess tosses her head as an indication for Mulder and Scully to follow her, leading them back through a rear door into a dingy break room in the back. Its walls are covered with Lariat company memos and employee notices, and it smells like air freshener and burned microwave popcorn. Scully’s stomach lurches again unexpectedly.

“We can sit here,” Jess says, pointing to a battered table. “If you want.”

Mulder inclines his head in agreement, and they sit.

“So you have questions for me?” Jess says, crossing her arms. She lowers her voice. “Is this place under investigation?”

“No—”

“Did you want to ask me about Lew’s musical tastes? He makes us listen to that one song again and again. The one about the obsessive guy who, like, kidnaps his pregnant girlfriend and puts her in the trunk of a car? Can you arrest him for musical harassment? Because it’s fucking creepy.”

“There’s a song about a man who abducts a woman and puts her in the trunk of a car?” Mulder says, stunned.

“Yeah,” Jess says. “That Eminem song. You live under a rock?”

“That’s not what we’re here to talk to you about,” Scully says firmly. “It’s about what you remember about someone who rented a car here this week.”

“That’s a whole fuckload of people,” Jess points out. “This is the beginning of our busy season.”

“My first question will sound … strange,” Scully says. “But do I look familiar to you at all? Do you remember someone who looks like me coming in to pick up a car?”

“You?” Jess squints at her. “No. Not that I remember.” She makes a face. “Wouldn’t you know if you did that?”

Mulder’s jaw muscle tenses. “This would have been the day before yesterday. A medium sedan for Dana Scully. According to the records we can access, it was picked up about four in the afternoon.”

Jess shakes her head. “Sorry. Not familiar.”

“Do you remember anything strange that afternoon at all? Anything out of the norm?” Mulder asks.

Jess chews on her lip for a minute. “Most everyone who comes in is pretty boring. Business types. Families on vacation for the holiday weekend.” She wrinkles her brow. “This is just a little thing. I don’t remember the exact time or her name, but it was that afternoon some lady came in a wig. It was kind of weird.”

Mulder glances at Scully. “Wig?”

“Yeah,” Jess nods. “I mean, normally I wouldn’t notice something like that, and who cares if someone wears a fucking wig? But she was a business type and it seemed, like, out of place. I didn’t realize it was a wig until it slipped a little. And I thought fuck, is she a spy who is in like, disguise? Or maybe she just has cancer or something.”

Mulder nods impassively.

“What color wig?” Scully asks.

Jess’s face lights up. “You know what? It was like yours, actually. Red and short. A bob. Shit, that’s important, isn’t it?”

Scully and Mulder exchange a look. “Possibly,” Mulder says. “Thank you. This is helpful, Jess. We’re going to look at the tapes to see, too.”

“Is she a spy? Or a murderer on the run or something?”

“We can’t talk too much about it, I’m afraid,” Mulder says. “Active investigation.”

Scully taps her fingers on the table. We don’t know who she is, Scully thinks. Other than that she was apparently not me.

***

Lew sets them up to view the tape in an airless utility closet that contains an ancient TV / VCR combo used for the Lariat’s security footage. It feels like it’s cut off from the air conditioning of the rest of the building.

“Can we prop the door open?” Mulder asks, as Lew is leaving. “It feels a little stuffy in here.”

“You can try,” Lew says with a shrug.

While Mulder engages in some kind of unsuccessful battle trying to prop the door with various found objects in the closet, Scully decides to go ahead and press play on the tape. The time stamp shows 2 pm Wednesday, and the person they’re looking for is likely in the four o’clock hour. She presses fast forward, tapping her foot impatiently.

“It won’t stay,” sighs Mulder, letting go of the door in irritation. “I give up.”

The door slams shut, and the closet immediately feels too warm and too intimate. Scully is intently aware of Mulder standing inches behind her, breathing through his nostrils in frustration.

She presses play on the VCR again and keeps her eyes trained only on the screen. It shows the exterior of the Lariat store, both the front entrance and the gate to the lot where customers walk to pick up their rental cars. It would be impossible to enter or leave the store without being seen on the camera, which is good. Still, they’re looking for something that seems difficult to spot: a woman wearing a wig of a color that will not be visible in the black and white footage.

“That’s 3:45,” Mulder says. His finger reaches over her to point at the time stamp on the screen. “Maybe we should let it play from there.”

Scully nods her assent, and Mulder reaches for a metal folding chair sitting against the closet wall.

“Want to sit?” he asks her, unfolding it and extending a hand gallantly.

“I’m fine,” she says. “You go ahead.”

“You sure? Feels wrong to sit while you stand, Scully.”

“You’re almost in your forties now, Mulder,” she says. “You should take it easy. And I don’t mind standing.”

He glances at her as he sits down. “You were making those kinds of jokes before you died, too.”

They watch the screen as an endless stream of people enter and exit the Lariat building, and it’s as dull as this kind of surveillance ever is. After a few minutes, Scully gives up her resolve to stand and finds a plastic crate to sit on. Most people entering the store alone appear to be men, wearing business attire, so it is easy to rule them out. Whenever a woman appears, they pause the screen and look more closely.

“Not a bob,” Mulder says, studying a woman walking in at 4:10. “I’m not an expert, but that woman has a braid, right?”

Scully nods and they press play. She steals a look at Mulder, who has loosened his tie in the warm closet, and now better matches her in informality. His face looks slightly damp in the heat of the closet, but his attention is engaged completely on the screen, his eyes intent and laser focused. She feels comforted by this, to see that he is still capable of being motivated by work. Maybe he is not as changed as he seems.

As she’s surreptitiously watching him, his expression abruptly changes—his face seems suddenly to go slack and lose color. “Hold on. Press pause.”

She turns back to the screen to see what has affected him.

A tall woman, in a bob, entering the store in a sleek tailored coat. Her head is turned so that her face is visible.

Mulder stands up and silently steps closer to the screen, saying nothing.

“Do you know her?” Scully asks, all at once again keenly aware of the room’s airlessness.

He turns around to face her. “Do you?”

Walking past him, closer to the screen herself, she peers intently at the woman’s face.

Yes, she realizes, her breath catching. She has seen her before. Not with this bob in a lighter shade, but with long dark hair.

“Agent Fowley.” Scully breathes. “It looks like her, doesn’t it?”

“It’s her.”

“How sure are you?”

“Very, very sure.”

Scully doesn’t like the confidence of his answer. She didn’t like anything about their previous interaction with Agent Fowley, and she is at a disadvantage not knowing what other interactions they’ve had since. What interactions he has had since. With his beautiful ex with whom he seemed to have so much in common. She steels herself for his answers to her next questions.

“Is she still in Washington? Do you … keep in touch with her? Can we call her to ask about this?”

“I don’t keep in touch,” Mulder says slowly, sitting back down in the chair, “for many reasons. The most important being that she’s dead.”

Scully’s eyes grow round, still staring at the woman on the screen.

Mulder snorts. “Apparently being dead just isn’t what it used to be, huh?”

“How did she die?” Scully says. Her voice sounds too high.

“Murdered as a consequence of saving my life,” Mulder says. “God, two years ago now? I think that’s right.”

Scully turns and sits down on the crate again, too, folding her hands on her lap. So many other questions, but she has to tread carefully here.

“Was she… someone we trusted, Mulder?”

Mulder closes his eyes as if in pain. “She was someone I trusted.” Scully tries not to imagine what that means and tries to shut down the interpretations running through her mind. He opens his eyes again. “But you—no, you never did. And… you were right. She was dirty, working with the Syndicate. Playing me for months.”

“I’m sorry,” Scully says softly and quickly.

He shrugs. “I thought she had redeemed herself a little before she died. But this—” he gestures to the screen, “suggests she is still in the game, and still willing to carry out orders that she knows will hurt us. It means she never stopped playing me.”

Scully stands back up to look at the screen and bites her lip thoughtfully. “Possibly,” she says.

“Possibly?” Mulder says incredulously. “What possible other reason could there be for her impersonating you, picking up your rental car?”

“I don’t know for sure, Mulder,” she says. “I just know we’re only seeing a very small part of the whole picture here.”

“I don’t see why you aren’t furious.” Mulder shakes his head, standing up to look at the screen, too. “You weren’t exactly her biggest fan.”

“It’s just … what we’re seeing isn’t actually evidence of her abducting me. Or faking my death.”

“Oh yeah? What’s it evidence of, then?”

“It’s evidence of her returning me.”

Mulder’s eyes lock suddenly on hers, and Scully realizes just how close he is standing. She could easily lean forward, ever so slightly, and her lips could lightly press against his. She has a dangerous urge to do it.

His mouth twitches as he stares back at her, and she wonders what it is he sees in her face. He takes a careful half step back.

“It’s evidence of her returning someone who looks like Dana Scully,” he corrects quietly. “And someone who believes she is Dana Scully.”

She can’t hide her reaction to that. It’s like a sharp slap. Her cheeks go hot, and her eyes begin to sting.

“I don’t say that to hurt you,” he adds quickly. “We just have to keep it in mind. We have to be alert to the possibility.”

She nods rapidly, looking down, not trusting herself to continue the conversation. “We should ask Lew for a copy of the tape,” she murmurs.

“Diana wasn’t on our side,” he continues, and she hates that it is his let-me-convince-you Mulder voice, the one she loves and associates with their early partnership. “You would always have said not to trust anything she did. You would never have wanted me to take her actions at face value.”

“Of course,” she says tightly. “Let’s go, Mulder.”

He looks bothered. “Scully—”

“No. You’re right,” she says. She just can’t bear to listen to him talk any more. “We have to keep the possibility in mind. I may not be who I think I am. It’s important. Now let’s just go.”

Does she sound sarcastic? she wonders, as they walk out of the closet into a chilly blast of air conditioning. She doesn’t mean to, really. She’s always known that to him the truth is always, always the most important thing. She’s foolish to keep hoping any other priority, any human emotion, might eclipse that.

On the drive home, they are mostly silent. Scully finds herself looking out the window, starting to imagine a life in San Diego.

She thinks she might like to live somewhere where she could go for walks on the beach, feel the sun on her face, enjoy being alive and free. Far from this car. Far from him.

***

It’s about noon when they return to Mulder’s apartment. In stony silence Scully walks straight into his kitchen and slices herself another generous piece of lasagna, which she heats up without further discussion.

She’s eating it at his kitchen table when he walks in the room and drops a piece of paper with a scribbled name and number in front of her plate.

“The medical examiner,” he says, not meeting her eyes. “For you to call.”

She nods shortly as he walks out of the room, disappearing into the bedroom. After some thumping around in the back of the apartment, she hears the shower start. Apparently he is ready to wash away their failed attempt at field work.

When she’s through with her lunch, she sits at the table and takes a deep breath, then dials the man’s number. It requires a little psychological prep. Scully has hardened to many experiences over the years, but it’s not everyday you hear a postmortem report of your own body.

The phone rings and rings, eventually going to voicemail: “You’ve reached the office of the D.C. Medical Examiner…” She can’t come up with a convincing enough story to leave in the moment, so she hangs up. She’ll just try again later.

Sitting there at the table with the phone, nausea hits her again all at once. This time, it is a powerful, overwhelming wave.

Scully stands in a panic. Mulder is in the shower, so she can’t get into the bathroom. Something else, quickly. She has to scramble to find a garbage bag in his cabinet, and once she does … it’s unpleasant.

She ends up on her knees on the floor of Mulder’s kitchen, holding the bag and trembling all over. Her heart is thumping so hard she feels it vibrating through her limbs.

For a moment she seriously considers calling her mother. Or calling out for Mulder, asking him for help. But she just can’t do those things. Her mother would be consumed with worry, and Mulder’s reaction would be something awful, would just hurt her.

Maybe, she thinks, she should go see a doctor. She has some friends from medical school she could call and see on short notice, and if they had somehow heard word of her death, she could tell them some far-fetched story about going deep undercover.

Still, she knows perfectly well what she would tell a patient who came in with her symptoms: You likely have a stomach bug. Drink fluids and rest. Come back in a few days if it persists. No doctor would test for the effects of being a laboratory created replication, or for exotic illnesses created by the government.

Now she’s starting to feel a headache creep up deep behind her eyes, maybe from the force of throwing up. She stands up from the floor, feeling a little unsteady again, and discreetly disposes of the garbage bag.

Maybe some ibuprofen and a nap, she thinks. It’s not as though there is anything to stay awake for anyway.

Her mother has probably included some ibuprofen in her very-thorough supply of toiletries. Scully doesn’t want to interrupt Mulder if he is getting out of the shower soon, so she walks quickly into the bedroom and picks up the plastic bag, carrying it out to the living room with her and sitting on the couch to sort through it.

The toiletry bag is crammed with far more than Scully would ever use—moisturizers of all sorts, chapstick, curling iron, mouthwash, cold medicine, a box of intensive hair conditioning treatment. Scully smiles a little to think of her mother going to Target and buying all of this for her. She must have walked down every aisle. Maggie’s caretaking instincts were in endearing overdrive.

Surely there must be a bottle of ibuprofen in here, she thinks. Scully’s hand is still reaching down inside when she becomes curious about a larger box poking her at the bottom. She pulls it out to examine it more closely.

She has to read it several times to fully let it sink in.

Home pregnancy test. 99% Accurate. Results in minutes.

For thirty seconds the box sits there in Scully’s hands. She stares at it.

This box that her mother bought. This box that she put in her daughter’s bag. Her daughter whom she knows is infertile.

Somewhere in the apartment is the sharp sudden sound of Mulder turning off the shower.

Like a ghost, Scully stands up.

She takes the box and holds it under her arm, crosses the room, and steals Mulder’s keys from the entry table.

Without a sound she leaves the apartment.

#the x files #xfiles fanfic #x files fanfic #dana scully #fox mulder #x files

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happysadyoyo · 3 months

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I know you're sick right now so feel free to not answer or wait to answer but you were one of the first people I saw actually critiquing Serano and a podcast I really like, It Could Happen Here, just released an episode that has her on as a guest and like... I mean it's great to give trans women a platform to speak on and she's talking about the latest edition of her book (according to the summary) but I also don't think I can bring myself to listen to it because I'm going to be afraid about how they talk about trans mascs the entire time

Like that podcast has a couple trans hosts and neither are trans masc which is fine, but then the vast majority of their trans focused episodes don't have trans masc guests and disheartening to see this as a pattern in a podcast I otherwise enjoy (I mean I don't listen to every ep because they release every weekday and that's So Much but I love the ones I listen to)

So yeah little vent to your blog I guess

I've been actually meaning to scroll through their trans episodes and check out the guests and see how many trans mascs they've actually had on (not that they only have trans guests on trans episodes but that's the easiest place to look)

I hate complaining about trans mascs being invisible every time they have a trans fem on because there shouldn't be *fewer* trans fem guests just *more* trans masc guests

I think I made myself sick from eating decent food for once :') So I should be okay in the long run, just. WTF body I thought you wanted probiotics and vegetables.

I still am just :/ on Serano. I'm glad people are pushing back against the talk around transandrophobia not being necessary as a word by citing her own writing, but from reading her current writings online it feels like she hasn't substantially changed on her underlying feelings about trans masculine people that I've seen thus far in Whipping Girl.

This still isn't touching on her racism. I'm still baffled she used a text written by a white man to talk about Navajo/Diné gender identities.

It's okay to feel uncomfortable, and I get the frustration of masc, nonbinary, intersex, and nonwhite voices remaining off the table. I don't want to say erased so much as not platformed? There's a but somewhere. Needing to understand and keep from falling into an echo chamber and try to see the good and/or humanity

idk this went downhill fast. I'm probably gonna give it a listen when I have brain cells again. So... post graduation? :''''

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40-years-of-robin-ii · 1 year

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✨✨DAY THREE!✨✨

Check out the amazing works and de sure to leave kudos and comments for our lovely, awesome participants! 🎁🎉

1. Discovered for a_posteriori [Fic - Gift, Explicit, Major Character Death]

Relationships: Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Eddie Bloomberg/Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd/Rose Wilson, Roman Sionis/Jason Todd

Tags: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Civilian Jason Todd, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Unrequited Lust, Trans Jason Todd, American Regency, Alternate Universe - Regency, Regency Romance, Hurt Jason Todd, Angst with a Happy Ending, Transphobia, Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Roman Sionis Dies, Jason Todd Lives, Opium, Navajo Roy Harper

Summary: Jason finds himself planted right in the middle of the country side at a boarding school at the end of the 1810's. With a plethora of people to meet and subjects in which to fall in love with, Jason faces a dilemma of identity.

2. We all need some loving for safelycapricious [Fic - Gift, Mature, Creator Chose Not To Warn, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Jason Todd, Natasha Romanov (Marvel)/Jason Todd, James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Jason Todd Deserves Better, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Natasha Romanov (Marvel)Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Damian Wayne is Robin, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, sweats and hoodies are a super hero best friend, very comfy, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent

Summary: Jason and Gotham don't always mix, luckily he's got two people he can rely on after all is said and done.

3. In Virtue for itsmeyaboi_redacted1 [Fic - Gift, Mature, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death]

Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd

Tags: Implied/Referenced Torture, Blood and Injury, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Good Sibling Dick Grayson

Summary: ‘For a long moment Dick just stands there, gun pointed at what’s left of the Joker’s face, chest heaving, soot-blackened features twisted with fury.’For the prompt ‘Red Hood succeeds in killing the Joker, although he did not expect Nightwing to be such a team player.’

4. Today in Space Adventures for CaptainDeadShips [Fic - Gift, Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Relationships: Roy Harper & Koriand’r & Jason Todd

Tags: Minor Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Minor Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd, Angst, Arguing, Friendship, Space Pirates, Outer Space, Mutant Trafficking, Missions Gone Wrong, Tim Drake is a Menace, Brothers, Collars, Restraints, Aliens, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Mentioned Lian Harper, Off-World

Summary: An Off World Investigation goes horribly wrong when Starfire crashes into a moon.

5. in the presence of absolute evil when you only have a juice box in your arsenal for the_grande_dame [Fic - Gift, Teen, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Relationships: Batfamily Members & Jason Todd

Tags: All-Blades (DCU), Humor, Chemical Soup - Freeform, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain are The Batgirls, juice boxes as weapons, Batfamily (DCU)

Summary: Soon-to-be-publicly-resurrected Jason Todd has a trick (glowing copper blades that are on fire and do his crime lord intimidation for him) up his sleeve. Also, isn't it a little too strong to call a wannabe Black Mask "absolute evil"?

#Jason Todd #40 Years of Jason Todd #40th Anniversary of Jason Todd #exchange #day three

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stupid-sloot-headcanons · 4 months

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Detroit Become Human still has the patented David Cage game moment where the plot holes and contrivances reach critical mass and the story kind of shits itself, but imo it's still the best/least bad game because the rest of the game is much more enjoyable and there's enough good shit to make me feel ambivalent about hating it too much. Like let's look at the other games in the Sadness Series

1. Beyond: Two Souls, its direct predecessor. The game is presented in a completely unnecessary nonlinear storyline that jumps around and robs scenes of their own context. Jodie and Dawkins are the best part of the game aside from its graphics, but Jodie as a character falls apart the instant you think about her for more than a minute. She is a punching bag in her story and there is so little else to her than what she goes through, and thus it's difficult to connect with her beyond pitying her and sympathizing with her. BTS starts to fall apart during the birthday party scene, but the plot has multiple instances where everything good and interesting about the story completely has a Plot Just Shit Itself moment: the first Condenser breaking down, the Navajo spirit demon, the final Condenser, the mission in Africa, and my personal favorite, the underwater Chinese ghost base.

2. Heavy Rain, imo the second least bad Cage game. This one only has one major Plot Just Shit Itself moment, but it massively fucks up the entire story, the main mechanic of reading character's thoughts, and the best character in the game. Spoilers: the twist in this one is that Detective Shelby is the Origami Killer, despite the fact that you are constantly hearing his own thoughts as he investigates the case. Also there's the misogynist portrayal of Madison but there's egregious misogyny in nearly every one of these games.

3. Indigo Prophecy starts off really strong despite the pretentious tutorial at the beginning, but cracks start to show the more you play: the large number of factions (we have Mayan magic bullshit, but also AI creatures, but also the Indigo Child who relates to reincarnation despite none of the cultures being referenced in the other factions believing in reincarnation), the ridiculousness of scenes like looking for the book in the shop run by a racist Asian caricature or Lukas being attacked by every single item in his apartment. It finally has the Ultimate Plot Just Shit Itself moment with Lukas kung-fu fighting a helicopter with magic Matrix powers, the exposition dump with Angela's ghost and the angels fighting each other, Chroma being magic bullshit with no real logic, and then again when the AI faction gets revealed and the climax of the game. Also the ableist section in the asylum and the racist way Tyler is portrayed but again that's icing on the shit sundae

4. Omikron the Nomad Soul shits itself from the moment you start the game, and the plot spirals downhill at an astonishing rate. How you make an entire world and have nothing interesting about it (world building, aesthetics, interesting characters, etc) is kind of amazing. And it has the most nonsensical set of factions and characters that you cannot be bothered to care about. Complicated and complex plots do NOT always mean deep. This imo is David Cage's greatest flaw as a director and writer, and Omikron is the biggest example of this problem.

Detroit has the largest amount of interesting characters you can easily grow to care about, and there is an equal ratio of interesting shit with potential vs. plot holes and nonsensical bullshit. So when the plot shits itself, mainly in Marcus's storyline with the resistance and Alice being an android, it isn't as much of a problem because you've got other good shit about the plot you can enjoy. Basically Cage wastes the least potential in DBH and it makes me less angry when things get stupid, unlike BTS which had SO MUCH wasted potential and makes me irrationally angry lol

#sloot's essays #basically DBH and Heavy Rain is Eurotrash I respect. Beyond/Indigo/Omikron is eurotrash i do NOT respect #sloot bitches about things

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bratty-telepath · 1 year

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*I'm back with more thoughts, this time about my Lovely(GN), Sam and their responses to trauma as I've personally put it around in my head (also a reason for me to talk about how I've written Lovely).

So there's no denying that Sam and Lovely have very similar parallels and contrasts involving their respective turning and I think there is room for an interesting thought experiment in the idea of how people internalise and externalise their trauma especially those with trauma of similar happenings(because no one responds to trauma–even if similar trauma–the same way).

In Sam's case, we know how he has adressed his trauma, he has cut off all interactions with Alexis(his former sneaky link) and has chosen to pretty much exist in defiance of and within the limits of his circumstances. Basically, he views his turning as a bad thing due to the loss of his abilities' innate potential as well as the circumstances surrounding the turning (ie. Alexis turning him regardless of his denial).

Tldr; Sam has repressed and unresolved trauma from that night

Lovely on the othe hand is an interesting case because we are made to project onto Lovely how they feel about being turned as they don't present negative feelings about visibly. While this has brought us a lot of angst, I wanna introduce a concept:

Lovely isn't as upset as Sam is about their turning.

Hear me out and remember this is just my variation of things, you don't have to agree with it, but I am personally interested in the dynamic this presents. To better illustrate my point, I'll set the stage and use Sam and my Lovely, Logan Varney.

*To get you up to speed, Logan is a Navajo ex-foster kid and college dropout that pretty much was going around getting odd jobs in Dahlia before wandering into Wonderworld and meeting Vincent which leads us into the current canon of things.

Now imagine with me if you will, a scenario in which Sam approaches Logan and attempts to talk to them of his own volition, about their turning and how he presumes they must feel about it, however he comes to learn that Logan isn't as upset about it as he had initially assumed. Instead, Logan views it in the same light of a videogame's reset function–sure, they have to start over with their progress in electro magic and may never get the same results they once did in their previous try at their life but they still have a chance to go about learning magic even if it looks different for them as a vampire

Now, we cannot deny that there are two very different backgrounds to consider in this little clash of trauma responses. Sam is coming at their turning from the perspective of an assumably magic-born freelancer background with the mindset that Lovely is experiencing a major loss after working incredibly hard, whilst Logan is taking it from the perspective of a latent electro energeric who is so used to turbulent change that this is simply just another step back that they can overcome. They also have never had the length of experience they do with their magic that Sam has and as such have chosen to view it otherwise as they don't see loss but an alternative route. One also can't deny that Lovely sees a therapist whilst Sam does not (to our knowledge anyways).

This also opens for me to talk about the mental process I've basically theorised in Sam's approach to his view of trauma, in which it mirrors Stephen Strange from the MCU. When I say that, I should be specific and say that it falls under the idea of a "fall from grace". Both Sam and Stephen are at the height of their prime before tragedy strikes (coincidentally a car crash) and leaves them both unable to perform as they're accustomed to. Additionally, they mourn the incident in a way that moreso derives sadness from the percieved outlook of the loss of their former capabilities (Sam being coded as a disabled man really coming in clutch here). Meaning that the biggest gripe they have in their shared view of their circumstances is that they will both never be the same (which is valid).

Where am I going with this?

Well, welcome to my agenda of "Everyone with similar traumas to Sam is going to be a narrative parallel that will make him face an aspect of his trauma" aka "Sam gets therapy"; Logan's role in that is the facet of accepting the lingering effects of said trauma.

Here, lovely challenges the notion that Sam hasn't addressed how he views the outcome of that night. They've had support and chances to understand how the inversion has affected them which has allowed them to comprehend their feelings about their turning and their circumstances so they know what they're specifically sad about and how they've come to counteract that sadness by seeing their vampirism not as a curse but as a different way they now have to live.

Sam has not done that. Thus, this is a foreign concept because he's held in almost three decades of resentment for the way he now lives, meanwhile Lovely is vibing and processing their experience.

The most important part of it, is that Lovely's reaction now places Sam in the position to recognize that he's unwittingly projected his feelings about his turning onto them, seeking validation from them through someone who doesn't feel that. There's of course nothing wrong with that and I intend to emphasize that people do that regardless of intention to or not, but the absolute best part of this perspective I wish to explore in my current WIP is that Lovely takes it so casually that Sam now has to understand that despite their similar circumstances, Logan doesn't feel the same about their turning and its effects which now makes him consider the way he addresses his trauma*.

*As is normal for people, we challenge our own thoughts and ideas when we get new information, in some cases that means we change our mind about previous subjects and in other cases, we don't. Depends

Frankly I'm excited to finally get done with this WIP especially since this is Logan's first proper fic that I'm doing for them but it's also just interesting to explore how they feel about their turning outside of the normal view of it.

Anyways, laters ✌️

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted fandom #Bratty Telepath's train of thought #BTtoT #redacted audio sam #sam collins #redacted sam #redacted asmr sam #i write too much about lovely #redacted audio lovely #redacted lovely #redacted asmr lovely #lovely

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moki-dokie · 2 years

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Jess lore

Meet Jess! Or, as he'd most likely tell you to call him, "Bull" - a silly nickname that just sort of stuck around until he grew fond enough of it to use it himself (But if you're lucky enough to be someone he considers close, "Jess" is what he'll go by). Most think that name comes from his imposing size. He's 6'9" and built like he lifts whole ass buildings as a pass time. And he's more than happy to let you think that. The longer it takes a person to figure out the actual reason, the funnier it is. Generally, once he hands over his business card with his full name on it, the light bulb moment happens. Jesse Oliver Malarkey. A natural-born werewolf. Currently, he's 177 years old - roughly the human equivalent of 30s. He looks much closer to mid-40s, extreme stress and trauma taking their toll. He's the sole owner and employee of his landscaping business, although he has started to bring his boyfriend along to help out and train. Even outside of work, gardening is his favorite hobby.

Jess was born in Ireland during the famine. Without a pack for support and the island simply too dangerous for wolves - especially wolves with an infant - and the English driving the human population to starvation, his parents joined the thousands fleeing overseas with hopes for a better life. They followed many pioneers into the wilds of the western frontier, perfect territory for wolves.

In what is now New Mexico, nestled in the safety of the canyon valley of the Chama river, they were surprised to come upon an established pack. According to the áni (First One, Leader, Chief, Alpha. A wolf-specific word, even more specific to packs of the southwest. Stems from both Diné and Nahuatl words for "leader".), Mateo, the pack had been there for thousands of years, for almost as long as there had been people. Said to be established by the first wolves of the Diné people, but soon attracted wolves from the southern desert scrublands, followed by wolves of the plains to the east. Over the centuries, cultures have mixed and blended together but several of the foundational traditions remain.

Their territory bordered the Navajo tribe and later their reservation*, friends and allies of one another. They were amongst the only humans to know of their existence and guarded their secret well. To the tribe, the pack was its own unique but adopted clan, known as The People of Two Skins.**

The pack was peaceful, their goal to be a sanctuary and family, to live in harmony with the world and the many different peoples within it.

Mateo himself was amongst the last surviving Mēxihcah people, Aztecs as we know them. After the fall of his people's empire and subsequent genocide, he and quite a number of other supes (slang for supernatural creatures) scattered to the winds. Eventually, he found his way to the pack and after some time, earned his position as its leader. By the time Jess's parents arrived, Mat was considered ancient by wolf standards, but advanced age didn't mean weakness. Besides being highly respected and extremely wise, he was a force to be reckoned with. Many a young wolf in their prime had challenged his position, and each one failed.

Mat accepted them with open arms, all too happy to provide the better life for their pup they'd been seeking.

Part 2 >>

*The current Navajo reservation does not extend to the Chama river, rather the Apache reservation does. But in this world, it's a little rearranged with the Apache nation further to the east. **If I have any Diné people/speakers reading this, I would adore a proper translation. I could look up individual words to throw together but I don't want to do it that way lol.

#my ocs #my writing #jess lore

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althistblin · 1 year

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The America Conflict, Part 2

The Californian Civil War

As the Provisional Government began to crumble, so did its State Allies. The first to fall to similar factionalism as the central government was California, leading to the government splitting between the Provisional State of California (Loyal to the Provisional Government) and the Free California Republic (with the support of the Liberal wing of the government).

In the north, Arnold Schwarzenegger and his supporters continued to fight for the Provisional Government of the United States, swaying many of the Constitutionalists and Conservatives in the State and California Senate to their side.

In the south, ex-governor Jerry Brown leads coalition government of Liberals and Federalists. Their goal is to see California become a free power and an Independent player in the Civil War, not shackled by the mismanagement and ineffectiveness of the Provisional Government.

This split created two weak and ineffective governments, both of which were openly hostile to the Socialists that previously held roles in the California Senate. When the Free Republic attempted to fortify San Francisco, the Local Divisions blocked their entry and declared the Californian People's Republic.

Across the state, those disgruntled with the Californian Governments rose up in support of the Revolutionary Movement led by Peter Camejo, and a third faction entered the fray.

In the isolated deserts of Nevada, the remaining loyal soldiers of the United States Army sat in defense. Area 51 was buzzing with activity as loyalist commanders and politicians selected General Tommy Franks to lead the isolated Junta. This remnant army would be a scourge to the people and militaries of the neighboring states for years to come.

In Arizona, the Navajo Nation swiped up other minor reservations into itself before declaring its Independence and Neutrality in the Californian Civil War. Led by Joe Shirley Jr, the Nation's policy certainly leaned more towards the Free Republic, but by being neutral, he gained concessions from all factions around him.

The Californian Civil War would go on for years, and is often seen by historians as a minor tangent when talking about the wider American Conflict, but in many ways it was a Civil War within a Civil War: All factions would focus almost entirely on each other throughout, with little outside conflict until California was nearly consolidated.

#alternate history #alt history #history #california #civil war #second american civil war #communism #speculative fiction #navajo nation

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elvisabutler · 2 years

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5 20 songs i've been obsessed with lately. i was tagged by @thatonemoviefan, @lindszeppelin and @aconflagrationofmyown and @succsessions ( on my main ) so y'all get 20 instead of 5. this is a very strange collection, but know this is either writing inspiration or my normal playlists. i'm a jazz person and a broadway baby at heart truly. tagging anyone else who wants to do this, i'm notoriously bad at tagging everyone with these.

moody blue - elvis presley ( i already loved this song, but late seventies elvis has put me in a chokehold that hit a fever pitch with gunmetal and i made worse with gravity. )

love - nat king cole

unholy - sam smith ft. kim petras ( yeah yeah i know tiktok song, but shit is catchy as fuck )

gravity - sara bareilles

meant to be yours - heathers: the musical ost

what i know now - beetlejuice: the musical ost

i gotta a feelin' in my body - elvis presley and stuart price

i wanna be your slave - måneskin

beggin - måneskin

mammamia - måneskin ( i truly deeply enjoy these little shits and i couldn't tell you why, thanks elvis for showing me them. )

beyond the sea - bobby darin ( but i actually have been listening to the version patrick stump from fall out boy record in navajo. )

my way - frank sinatra ( i've been listening to elvis's version more though. )

they're only human - death note: the musical ost

bossa nova baby - elvis presley

waterloo - abba ( but really the version from mamma mia! here we go again )

why did it have to be me - abba ( same deal as waterloo, don't look at me like that )

unforgettable - nat king cole

ludacris - rollout ( my business )

doja cat - vegas

rubberneckin' - elvis presley

#ask games #dash games #idk i'm cleaning out my drafts.

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dandywondrous · 6 months

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It’s Native American Heritage Month

Photo by Tailyr Irvine

(11/24/2023) In addition to learning and celebrating the history of indigenous peoples, we must support indigenous peoples and communities that are alive today and have been alive for centuries.

I currently live on the lands of the Wyandot, Mississauga, Potawatomi, and Anishinabek people. These people lived here for thousands of years before white settlers colonized the land in the 1800s. I will always support indigenous liberation and sovereignty.

To my non-native US and Canadian followers -- if you’re new to the Land Back Movement, you can start by learning whose land you’re on here. Land acknowledgment is the first step, and from there you can reach out to your neighboring First Nation to start building relationships and learn how you can support them. There are still SO many non-native folks in the U.S. who don’t know the history of American colonialism and acts of state-sanctioned genocide committed against Native Americans -- acts that are still ongoing to this day. I know this is kinda poli sci 101 and this has been said already, but we need to continue educating ourselves and each other. Education is one of our greatest tools in the fight against colonialism and imperialism. Knowing that, I'm sharing some current issues that are threatening indigenous people and communities. These are not exclusively indigenous issues either -- they are issues that concern humanity as a whole.

It is also important we build our communities around things that are positive such as art, literature, and culture. So to bolster these things, I'm also sharing some indigenous content creators, authors, and shops. Thank you to @help-ivebeen-turned-into-aparrot for the recommendations and expanding this list!

Remember history, celebrate Native American heritage, and stay informed! Links below the cut.

Current Major Issues (as of November 2023)

Navajo Nation Water Rights Overview (NARF) Resources and how to help (from 2020, still valuable)

Alaskan Ambler Road Overview (Winter Wildlands Alliance) Paving Tundra, a short documentary Take action

Nevada Lithium Mine Overview (First Nations) People of Red Mountain/how to help

Missing And Murdered Indigenous Women Info and overview (Native Hope) Mission

Native American History and Culture

The books and articles with links are freely available. To read the others, you might be able to find them at a nearby library using WorldCat.

Introduction to Native American History by Native Hope

Stories, Dreams, and Ceremonies: Anishinaabe ways of learning by Leanne Simpson

Origin and Traditional History of the Wyandotts by Peter D. Clarke

Handbook of North American Indians, Volume 11: Great Basin by William C. Sturtevant and Warren L. D'Azevedo

Shoshonean Peoples and the Overland Trails by Dale L. Morgan

Diné History of Navajoland by Klara Kelley and Harris Francis

Native American-Owned Shops

Thunder Voice Hat Co. - handmade hats, hat accessories, and other apparel. Kotah Bear - blankets, robes, and jewelry. Owned by two people of Navajo Nation, selling art and jewelry made by Navajo and Pueblo artists. Manitobah - moccasins, mukluks, and other winterwear. A global brand founded by Sean McCormick, a Métis entrepreneur. Also has the Indigenous Market, which sells handmade products by indigenous artists from Canada and the US. Little Inuk Beadwork - jewelry and accessories. Made by Lillian Putulik, Inuk artist. Mobilize - streetwear and fashion. Founded by Dusty LeGrande, Nehiyaw artist and activist. Based in Edmonton, CA.

Authors

Moniquill Blackgoose - science fiction and fantasy. Seaconke Wampanoag author. To Shape A Dragon's Breath Angeline Boulley - young adult thriller fiction. Chippewa author. Firekeeper's Daughter Cherie Dimaline - Métis author, mostly YA fiction. The Marrow Thieves, Hunting by Stars, Funeral Songs for Dying Girls Darcie Little Badger - science fiction and fantasy. Lipan Apache author. Elatsoe, A Snake Falls to Earth Stephen Graham Jones - horror fiction. Blackfoot Native American author. The Only Good Indians, Mongrels, After the People Lights Have Gone Off Delphine Red Shirt - autobiographies, culture, oral tradition. Oglala Lakota author. Turtle Lung Woman's Granddaughter, Bead on an Anthill: A Lakota Childhood, George Sword's Warrior Narratives Dani Trujillo - romance. Chicana/Pueblo author. Lizards Hold the Sun

Content Creators

Che Jim - humor, skits, social and political issues. Diné/Nishnaabe/Chicano content creator. Lillian Putulik - art and jewelry. Nunavik Inuk artist. Bossii Masu Nagaruk - current events and social and political issues. Iñupiaq content creator. David Little Elk - educating about and celebrating Oglala Lakota tribal wisdom. Oglala content creator. Edgar Martin del Campo - educating about cultures, languages, and religions of indigenous peoples of North and South America. Casey (aka Hot Glue Burns on insta) - cosplay and cosplay design/creation.

#native american heritage month #important #I follow all these content creators and some were recommended by my friend L #by no means a comprehensive list and I encourage everyone to go follow more indigenous folks if you aren’t already #tried to include very broad history as well as more specific history #I focused on groups from the great basin and around the great lakes only because that happens to be my wheelhouse #thank you again L I love you!

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