#literally just a free flow ramble
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"C'est La Vie" / Gale & Astarion ramble 1k words, as I try and figure the characters out... ✦
✦ I wrote all night,
Like the fire of my words could burn a hole up to heaven,
I don't write all night burning holes up to heaven, no more... ✦
Gale sat near the heat of the blazing campfire, his brown eyes reflecting the stars above him. Everyone else had gone to bed not too long ago, and he would leave for his tent after a moment.
Just…a few moments more.
He just wanted to watch the stars a little longer. He wouldn’t have too many moments left to do so, he could feel it. Be it Mystra’s will, or his own mortality beckoning, he felt it like it were breathing down his neck.
Gale took in a steady breath, the night air crisp, like it could rain any second now.
Oh, how he wished it would rain.
He closed his eyes and pressed one palm against the Orb, feeling it pulse beneath his skin. He tried to quell the hurt there, taking in a steady breath. The Orb wasn’t really the problem anymore, but his soul. It ached in his chest, a thrum of anxiety wedged deep between his ribs.
Everything he was raised for—everything whispered to him, given, was all to come to an end. It was his fault, all of it.
He was already planning how to accomplish his task, even if he felt his fingers tremble upon his chest.
He would try and separate himself from the group—thinking on how to save them from himself. It wasn’t their fault, their sin. Gale would do everything and anything to see to their safety.
Everyone had all been so terribly gracious to him as it was. Even after learning his folly, they would go out their way to see that he received the magical item that would both quell the weave’s hunger and sate their pockets.
They shared their fire, food, laughter, and sometimes even their pain.
He was so terribly thankful.
He felt like such a burden.
Gale huffed a small laugh and rubbed his eyes, blinking away the burn he felt behind them. He had no right to cry about it. He was given a chance of redempti—
“Not getting all weepy, now, are we?” A silky voice asked, and Gale felt the anxiety bloom in his chest again, taking a moment to blink away the pain.
“Gods, Astarion,” Gale hissed at him, the vampire’s hands raised in the air, fingers spread wide. Astarion looked at him, his head cocking to the side curiously. His red eyes looked concerned—wary, even.
“Is it giving you hell? That thing on your chest?”
Gale looked up at him, nodding when Astarion gestured at the log to the left of him: may I?
“Not like it was,” is all Gale could say, looking away. Which was true. Mystra had given that one blessing, at least until he could finish his quest.
“You sound content, considering what has been asked of you. Or rather…demanded of you.” Astarion spoke, his words clear. Gale looked at him and Astarion’s red eyes pinned him there. He had a stiffness to his jaw he hadn’t before.
This was a glimpse to the man’s own hurt—one Gale had only been seen revealed to Tav a handful of times. Now, those too red eyes revealed something to him.
Gale took a short breath, looking up at the stars again. His brown eyes were glassy, reflecting the sky. “It’s no more than I deserve.”
Astarion tsked with a grimace, one corner of his upper lip lifting to reveal a very sharp canine. He started fiddling with a spot of something on the sleeve of his blouse, annoyed or nervous, Gale wasn’t sure.
“You deserve better than that. A God demanding yet another sacrifice…” Astarion trailed off, his eyes dimming, his fingers pausing on the spot.
“But if I hadn’t done what I had, I would still be—”
“Used,” Astarion finished for him, firm. Gale felt hot rage then. He stood up quickly and just stared at the vampire, brown meeting red.
He was so mad, but…
Astarion tilt his head, his eyes the softest Gale had yet to see them.
Pity?
Sympathy?
Understanding?
Gale looked away, his jaw tight.
“You know, before you go off stomping all dramatically, I want you to hear something,” The vampire started again, picking at the spot again, nervously.
“I don’t pity you, Gale of Waterdeep. I pity you only in the way that you are giving up so easily. In my time upon this wretched earth, crawling in the dirt and all the shit of the world, I prayed to many a God. None of them answered. Your goddess answered too pointedly. She’s hiding something, I know it. I’ve lived it.”
Astarion’s eyes trembled with deep hurt and endless rage. A muscle in his jaw jumped, like he was grinding his teeth.
“You don’t give up, you go kicking, or I’ll kick your ass before you even get the chance to blow yourself up.”
Gale huffed a laugh at that, his eyes stinging again. Out of everyone, he never thought that Astarion would be the one to tell him to think of any other way, and not so soon after Tav.
“Thank you, Astarion,” Gale said, gently, watching him with a small sad smile. The vampire was already looking stiff—uncomfortable, like he’d revealed too much. “Truly. Honestly, I thought you didn’t like me, but I want you to know that I really appreciate the kindness you have shown me.”
“Kindness,” Astarion focused upon, mulling the word in his mouth, like it tasted awful.
“Yes,” Gale told him, a twinkle in his eye. “I won’t say more, as I know this is a territory that is making you literally squirm in your seat but…thank you.”
Astarion blinked up at him, unsure what to do with himself. His mask had fallen, revealing a very lost creature that hid behind his usual facade. Gale sighed and, very gently, pressed a feather-light touch on his stiff shoulder as he passed him.
“Sleep well, Astarion. I hope you found a nice enough dinner. I won’t forget this and hope to return it in kind.”
What kind, Gale kept to himself.
Astarion could only blink at the open space before him, the spot where Gale had touched feeling too warm. When he finally could turn around, Gale was already in his tent. Astarion’s eyes flicked back and forth, the vampire swallowing thickly.
“I don’t dislike you,” Astarion told the night, his eyes glassy. A few raindrops fell then, and he blinked up into the sky, a few more drops running down his cold cheek.
✦I waited for days for your voice to answer to me,
I don't wait up for days for your voice to answer to me no more...✦
#c'est la vie no. 2 by phosphorescent is to blame for this#and I needed a break from papers#literally just a free flow ramble#my writing#bloodweave#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 fic#bg3 ramble#both these characters can go in my pocket and I will protect them forever thanks#mystra hate club
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I just came across ur page and omggggg??? I'm literally in love. I was wondering if you could do a head cannon of Rafe with a latina reader who sings or plays soccer, tome su tiempo mamas 😻💕🎀
te quierooooo <3 fyi, i suck at headcanons so i hope you like this little drabble! i may have gotten carried away lol
you were constantly singing, i mean, whether it’d be humming along to the music that flowed from your speaker, or belting out lyrics in the shower — you were singing a song whenever you’d gotten the chance. and the best part about it? rafe loved every moment of it. sure, there were times where’d be having a rough day and could do without it, but he was never outright mean about it. truth be told, hearing the spanish words slide off of your tongue made him want you, perched on his lap, like the good girl you are, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.
you were in the middle of singing a kali uchis song while rafe sat at his desk, struggling to focus on properly counting the stack of blue dollar bills that rested in the palm of his large hand, “hey, mama - d’you want to hold off on the singing while i count this?” he’d call out from his seat, before resuming his silent counting.
“sorry,” you winced, biting down into the fat of your bottom lip as you swallowed down your embarrassment, deciding to distract yourself by forcing your attention on the neatly displayed bookcase before you.
rafe was quick to finish his silent task, before sighing as he leaned back into his seat, his legs spread deliciously as he watched you adjust books that were already stood upright. he knew his words got to you easily, you didn’t deal well with correction, you always took it to the heart. so, he decided he’d continue watching you: looking to see if you’d crack.
you decided to stand on your tippy toes, your legs a bit wobbly from rafe having you fucked flush against the wall, just twenty minutes prior. you’d thrown on one of his shirts, the curve of your plush ass straining against the thin fabric as you reached your arm towards the one book that stood just a tad bit crooked. rafe couldn’t help but rub his lips with the side of his index finger, holding back a laugh as you became a bit too engrossed in the bookcase.
deciding to put you out of your misery, rafe let out an obnoxious huff of air, “come here, baby,” he caved, moving his chair away from the desk, giving you the space to climb onto his inviting lap.
you were quick to oblige, approaching rafe with a subtle pout on your lips as you curled into his side, your head resting on his shoulder, his hand softly tapping against the side of your hip. meanwhile, you toyed with his other hand, a lingering sense of embarrassment still bubbling in your stomach as you compared your hand size with rafe.
rafe was all too familiar with your anxious ways, so he decided to humor you about the song that you were singing along to, “so, what was that song that you were singing, earlier?” he questioned, sliding his fingers through yours, bringing his free hand to the back of your neck, guiding you to look up at him.
“la luna enamorada — it’s a kali uchis song,” you spoke, your eyes locked directly on rafe’s as he nodded with his mouth slightly opened. you were the first to break the eye contact, a blush creeping to your cheeks.
rafe presses his lips to the top of your hair, lightly bouncing his knee, “y’should teach me what all of that means,” he taps the side of your neck, commanding your full attention.
you gasped excitedly, sitting up straight in rafe’s lap, “oh my god, and then we can just start talking shit about people in spanish and they won’t even know,” you spewed quickly, laying your hand on his firm chest.
rafe quickly checked-out from your eager ramble, his eyes focused on the hem of his shirt that bunched up around your lower waist. his eyes now hung low as he took in the sight of the thin black thong that was almost entirely enveloped by your ass. the bounce in rafe’s knee now ceased as you turned to face him with a joyous smile.
“okay, so we can start with the basics, y’know-” you were quickly cut off by rafe pulling you to lay back against his chest, his hand now lightly wrapping around your throat.
“tell me that you love me,” he sighed, his hand that was once interlocked with yours now sliding underneath the seamless fabric of your thong. you let out a shaky breath, the overflow of excitement that coursed through your veins, now turning into an adrenaline that hummed through you.
rafe’s warm hand began to tighten around your throat, “te quiero,” you muttered, your hardened nipples now straining against his shirt as he massaged deep circles into your swollen clit.
“tell me that you belong to me,” rafe coaxed, continuing to massage your clit, his voice now an octave lower as he kissed the side of your face, a wet and noisy kiss.
you strained your neck to look up into his bright blue eyes, through your curled lashes, softly nodding as you struggled to find the right words, “t-te pertenezco a ti,” you forced out, a moan escaping from your throat as rafe’s fingers slid into your tight and wet hole.
rafe smiled down at you, mimicking your slacked jaw as he fit the entirety of his two fingers inside of you, “oh shit,” he laughed, bringing his hand from your throat, down to your hip, holding you still as you attempted to roll your hips, desperately needy for any kind of friction.
“rafe, plea-”
rafe shook his head, his fingers tensing inside of you as he leaned his forehead against your head, “tell me to fuck you, mama.”
“cógeme, te necesito.” you whined obediently, slightly shifting your hips, just to feel something. rafe decided he’d let you slide, considering how good and willing you’d been today. plus, his cock was already strained against his khaki slacks, eager to be freed and plunged into the deepest parts of you.
“y’such a good fucking girl,” he praised, pulling your face in for a disgusting sloppy kiss, his wet and warm tongue fighting against yours as he slid his lengthy ringed fingers in and out of you.
#starsluver#asks#rafe cameron#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#obx#obx imagine#rafe cameron smut#sweetheart!reader
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The idea of a octotrio polycule is so cute Mochi pliz hear my rambling
Why settling for one when you can get a buy one get two for free deal?
I can't think of much ideas other than the situation that Azul does something similar to what happened in book three so now they are punished by not getting cuddles the most decent option is to actually put your foot down and keep the punishment even if your boyfriends cry out about how "working at the lounge was so exhausting! Please spare some cuddles for these three poor fishies!!" and even if some of your friends call you out (Jack for Jade, Ace for Floyd +Jamil, Azul for literally anyone?) because they are causing trouble:
Jade keeps following around Jack to ask him questions about beastfolks (I think this happened in the playful land event Jade wanted to make Jack wear silly clothes) he is willing to drag anyone you know into hearing his fully dramatized history of your harsh punishment and it comes with the incredible acting skills of Jade Leech!!
Floyd isn't even trying to even walk to every other activity he does it looks like he does it against his own will (on classes, on club activities) and that's why Ace told you about the latest club practice where Floyd just stayed face first on the gymnasium floor? Please prefect Jamil is about to invent new seafood dishes from how much annoyed he is with this "squiggly, slimy bastard eel"
Speaking of slimy eels... Epel called you because he discovered the whole reason why Vil has been more snappy than usual is Azul not being able to provide his moisturizer because "My workers and myself are in a heavy emotional break, I am afraid that we will be canceling production until stated otherwise.." he genuinely made a little domino line that ends connecting to you and your personal friends?
Of course that's the more decent option of you still going along with the punishment I am saying decent because the other option is to give up and get teased by the tweels and getting your time and affection fully capitalized by your octo darling
After the punishment is over (if you actually have decency and choose the first option) surprisingly when the three immediately drag you to the usual cuddle session everything is planned to fit each of your likings the series you three been watching/a movie playing in the tv, tasty snacks and a thing similar to a pillow fort/a nest? Filled with soft blankets and couches for the best of the best cuddle sections and after this everything will go back to its regular flow!!
(i want to force my brain to have more ideas for this dynamic but I haven't come up with anything else)
BUY ONE GET TWO FREE ASKJDKLAJSFKJGLGJ
They are a delightful package deal, tbh. But they guilt you for your affections so often, it's a miracle that you haven't wrung their necks yet.
They indeed make it everyone else's problem when you decide to ban them from any form of affection other than quick cheek kisses and handholding. But it's 10 times worse when only one or two of them are banned, but the others aren't.
Floyd gets in trouble with you a lot because he tends to bite into you a bit harder than he should, leaving deep marks. It's not the marking itself that's the issue, you'll admit, but it's the fact that he'll leave them in visible areas like your forearms, neck, collar, and even your ankles. All spots that others will see and ask, “Wtf, you good bro??” Sometimes he'll do the same to Azul, who will do the same and ban Floyd from touching him in any form. It wouldn't be as bad if Jade didn't rub it in his face, coming up to hug you from behind, leaning in close to brush his lips against Azul's ear to whisper something, all things that Floyd can't do! It leaves Floyd incredibly annoyed, sometimes angry, and every so often devastated that he can't hold his mates. If the latter occurs, he's coming after you. A weak thing to his tears, Azul has had years to build up resilience and hold firm, but you are weak to a whiny, teary-eyed Floyd who is begging for a kiss and cuddle. It's not faaaaair, Jade's been rubbing it in his face all day, and he loves you both so much, but Azul's not budging and if he can't even hold his shrimp, he doesn't even know what he'll dooooooooo! The day ends with Floyd and you in bed, his arms tightly wrapped around your middle and legs tangled in yours as he blissfully naps. Azul's annoyed that you caved in, but Jade's amused and tries to push Azul into joining the cuddle pile with him.
Now, if Jade's the one that being iced out for something, he'll actually return the favor tenfold. He's just an innocent little guy, what do you mean he can't just secretly feed you two an aphrodisiac mushroom? You had lots of fun afterward, even Floyd agrees (he does, but his firm moral stance on mushrooms doesn't). But Azul's pissed that he was used as a test subject again, and you had to call Ace and Deuce to watch Grim as an emergency. Again. So when you both ban him to only quick smooches and side hugs, Jade returns the energy. He's refusing any form of affection, and not giving them to you. Unlike Floyd, who's begging harassing you for cuddles, he's going to make you two come beg for him. After a few days of no Jade, you're both missing him, it's surprisingly Azul who reaches out first when Jade comes to deliver some paperwork for the dorm. The octomer had leaned in to give him a kiss, when Jade stepped away with a sly smile and told him, “Oh, but I thought you weren't giving me your affections? Let's not go back on our word now, Azul.” Jade is a tad bit nicer to you—taking after Floyd—to guilt you into loving on him again. But Azul? He's gonna make him suffer, simply because he enjoys making him squirm. It's honestly a sight to see, as neither are willing to back down. At least until the two of them fall asleep in Azul's office after working a late night, curled into each other's sides on the couch.
Azul probably has it the worst, as he has both twins teasing him. Floyd and Jade are flaunting you around him, being extra handsy. They're cooing at him, whining about how they can't cuddle both of you at the same time since he was dumb enough to piss you off. How could he do this to them? Such a mean, mean Azul! By far, though, you're the weakest to Azul's charms and silver tongue when compared to the twins. Maybe it's due to the knowledge of Azul's childhood, or maybe it's just because he's extra cute, but you can't find yourself away from him for more than a day. He sniffles, murmurs something about missing your embrace, and you're rushing into his arms, kissing away his tears. The twins get incredibly annoyed that you're so quick to let Azul back into your arms, while they have to wait at least a week sometimes. But then you're both reaching out arms and cooing at them to come to bed, batting your eyes, and all complaints are out the window.
I love them they make for a wonderful polycule. After all, they're a package deal, no matter how much they might say they're not.
#mochi asks#twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#jade leech#floyd leech#azul ashengrotto#jade leech x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#floyd leech x reader#aaahhh polycule octotrio#it's my favorite thing#but only if the twins also love on azul as much as reader
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After spending literally multiple days and nights listening to hours of new music, here are my thoughts on what the Protocol playlists might tell us about the characters. I'm gonna break it down by large themes and I'm putting it under a read more bc I don't know how to not ramble about this. its SO MUCH
Gwendolyn Bouchard 👁️
Hers is the most self-explanatory. Girlboss is girlbossing and paying for it. But I did pick up several nuances.
Gwen is: Cold, power-hungry, and ambitious (you should see me in a crown, Are You Satisfied?, Severance theme). Suffering from her own hubris (Oh No!, Gasoline). Resentful and envious, especially about family, wealth, and power (Family Jewels, 24 hours, Warriors). Touching the dark and being supernaturally influenced (Mr. Bonzo theme, Evil Eye, We Don't Talk About Bruno, Making Love to the Dead).
Special mention to the 'daddy's money' reference in 24 hours.
Samama Khalid 😶🌫️
Sam makes ridiculously long playlists, like me, so this entry is gonna be long, but the emotional vibes were pretty easy to pick out once I got through it.
Sam is: Straight chillin' to some lo-fi beats, desi hip hop, and melodic bops (literally too many to list but, Remind Me, Forgive the Mess, 93 'Til Infinity, Magpie, Fire Sale, Iniesta Flow, I Guess, Prarthana, Hai Hai, etc., etc.). Rebellious (The Adults Are Talking, Reptilia). Bonded with someone (Halo Flip, soulboy). Yearning, romantic, and playful (Girl Like You, Mr. Sandman, New House, Meteor, You Only Live Once, Be Your Girl, Dear Jean, Say The Word, My Girl/Hey Girl, Smiley, The Real Sugar). Reminiscing about a break-up (Oui, Afterparty Lover, Last Nite, Stick Season, Turn off the Lights, Jessie (i miss you), WONDERING, Afterthought, I Love You, I'm Trying). Full of regrets, pain, and melancholy bitterness (Seasons, Can't Call It, Let It Go, nightmares, Pretty Insane, different tomorrow..., Cigarette Daydreams, CABIN FEVER, Self destruct, Go Back, Stuck Here With Me, Bliss City). Alienated, yet wanting to be alone (uh-oh) (Creep, Alone, Stone cold., Paint it, Black).
Special shout-out to all the implications about the old Sam/Alice relationship. And I'm especially worried by the potential meanings of Downside Up, Let It Go, Go Back, and Stuck Here With Me.
Also, interesting that there's a lyric-free track just called 'drained' at the end of his playlist. I'm sure that's fine.
Alice Dyer 🌀
Oh my girl. What is going on with you. She has impeccable and predictable taste, at least. But... then there's the Ominous Implications again...
Alice is: Rebellious, anarchic, and irreverent (Underclass Hero, Toxicity, Tribute, Buddy Holly, Dragostea din tei, Feel Good Inc., Piss Off, Rebel Rebel, Ghost Town, Brimful of Asha, Surrender, Uncle Walter, United States of Whatever). Blasting high-confidence power anthems (Material Girl, Therefore I Am, Jump, Bad Reputation, The Middle). Depressed behind a mask of high energy and false cheeriness (SugarCrash!, Mad World, Bathroom Floor). Yearning after someone's love (A.M. 180, Zombie Love Song, Nearer Than Heaven, Save Tonight, Ms. California, Because I Love You, Fell In Love With A Girl, Take Me Out). Reminiscing about a break-up (Ciao!, Built This Way, Kidz 'N' Stuff, FRIENDS, Free Fallin', Not In Love, Who Knew, Song for the Dumped, When It All Falls Apart, Laid, Complicated). Feeling crazy and overwhelmed (uh-oh) (Basket Case, In Too Deep, Bonkers, I'm A Robot, Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, 19-2000, Wonderland, High, Undone, Cosmic Castaway). Creeped out and brushing up against the supernatural (Walking On Air, The Blue Wrath, Pet Sematary).
Oooh. Oh, the implications. The Sam/Alice break-up. The potential for feelings that remain. I HAVE to know what happened between them.
Also, here are some select lines from five Alice songs presented without comment: "Yeah, I'm a zombie, baby," "I'm a robot, I'm a robot/I don't have any feeling in my heart," "I don't wanna be buried in a Pet Sematary/I don't want to live my life again," "Take me down, six underground/The ground beneath your feet," "Walking like a zombie, like a zombie."
I'm sure that's all fine.
Celia Ripley 🕸️
The most mysterious new member of the OIAR, her music choices are appropriately enigmatic. The Vibes make me excited to see what she's hiding under the surface.
Celia is: Raring for a fight (Seven Nation Army, Rumble, know your place, Run from Me). Fed up with the system (Blood//Water, Run You). Bold, sexy, headstrong, and self-confident (Creature, Took A Trip, River, Do It For Me, Aerials, Uber). Struggling against supernatural influence, feeling trapped and helpless (Mama! There's a Spider in My Room, Where Is My Mind?, I Feel Like I'm Drowning, Closer, Space Dementia, Rain)
So we've all but confirmed the theory that she's from the OG Archives timeline and that she has continuing ties to the Web from passing through Hill Top Road. I think we have hints here that she's manipulating the others, but I also think there are signs that she's fighting her own battle against an evil trying to take her. There also seems to be an overarching theme of water in many of her songs for some reason 🤔
I can't wait to get more of Celia. Even if she is lying, I'm rooting for her (<hoping this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass)
In conclusion, I love them all already your honor, and I want to thank the cast for putting such loving care into crafting these for us. Thank you for such great food to feed our wild theorizing.
#i think i had the most fun listening to hindi rap for the first time#theres just something about following the flow and beat when you cant understand the language. its really fun#sort sort i love to arbitrarily sort#also i assumed these were songs /about/ the characters and not under the conceit that these are songs the characters are listening to#just play in this space with me#tmagp#the magnus protocol#gwendolyn bouchard#gwen bouchard#alice dyer#samama khalid#sam khalid#celia ripley#tmagp theory#also i started writing this a few weeks ago and since then ive been listening to KR$NA obsessively lol. thank you Shahan
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I have to springboard off of that post here and NOT in their tags bc im gonna clutter them and hit tag limit (like i do ALL the time 😭) but i am just so obsessed w their dynamic man. I think as I dip into some of the more Not Fluffy themes wrt to them and their backgrounds, their unhealthy bonds and coping mechanisms (being dismantled and rebuilt to be more sustainable)(and not just w akira and ryuji but ALL the thieves), I always come back to them being sooooo….free with each other. Like theres no way to really describe it in any other way. Ryuji literally puts it best. They are able to do the feats that they do bc they are free from judgement between themselves. And its bc of ryuji ! Akira is the protagonist but my god this story could not have happened at all without Ryuji
Like YEAH they have this fateful meetup and Akira literally awakens his persona for Ryuji, but I think Ryuji (and eventually Ann too) becomes this incredibly grounding force for the team. Akira was more than content to stay low and get this over with; keep his head down and let the accusations and hushed words flow over him. And Ryuji quite literally bulldozes his way into Akiras life. And he is soooo unapologetic about it!!! Hes takes up space and hes not afraid to do so! And its a little (alot) contagious if Akira is honest with himself. Akira was content to lay low AT FIRST, but he did not get into this position bc he was meek and a pushover; he got into this mess bc he was impulsive and brash!
I think its so telling that the first person Akira latches onto is the infamous school fuckup! Of COURSE the new delinquent kid is buddy buddy w the existing delinquent, students and faculty would say to each other. They really are more alike than people believe, and its bc they mirror each other so much that they have the space to understand each other. I dunno! Im rambling! Do u see the dots! ‘My place is by your side’ ! ‘Being free is like…how i feel around u’ !! They get each other sooooooo much like literally so inextricably bonded together that u CANT have one wo the other anymore. They get to be silly together and they get to be deadly scary in the metaverse bc they bounce off each other SO well!!! Because of LOVE baby !!! YEEHAW 🔥🔥🔥🔥
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I think something to keep in mind re: the newer islanders comments regarding Foolish and Leo, regardless of how frustrating they are, is that it comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of qFoolish as a person, which is partially caused by the persona Foolish himself presents to everyone.
Foolish gives the impression of being a very open person who probably couldn't be bothered to keep too many secrets unless it was fun, a happy and impulsive spirit and just a general fun and chaotic person. He doesn't seem to take things too seriously, going with the flow and doing whatever seems most fun to him in the moment.
He doesn't seem like the type to get deeply attached. He doesn't seem like the type to keep secrets or hide how he is feeling. He doesn't seem like the type who would dwell enough on something that it causes him heartache, because he is impulsive, and free-spirited, and unattached, right?
He's playing with Capybaras, he's laughing with his friends, he's making jokes and playing around. Heck, he isn't even really talking about Leo that much - if you accept everything you see at face value like most of the newbies who never got to meet Leo or don't know qFoolish will, it must look like he's not all that upset about her being gone and isn't really thinking about it too much, right?
But the other islanders know. The ones who have known the eggs, and the ones that know Foolish, they all know the truth.
Bad has noted that he isn't sure other people have noticed, but he can tell that Foolish is hurting. Jaiden too has made comments a out how people don't take him seriously. Baghera left him alone with the concrete because it felt so wrong to swarm him in that moment that she knew was painful for him. And though I haven't seen comments from the others, I have no doubt all the other islanders who have been here for months wouldn't ever question how much Foolish loves and misses Leo. (Tina is the exception with the new islanders as she met Leo before joining the server and she knows Foolish is a good parent).
But the new islanders accept Foolish for how he presents himself. They see him laughing and playing and having fun and assume those are his true feelings and don't realise they are, but he is also hurting. They see him not bring Leo up and they don't realise it's not because he doesn't care, but because confronting his feelings isn't something he is good at. He prooved that when he ran away the moment he was directly asked about how he was feeling after finding Leo's message, or when he brushed off Bad's sympathy and rejected his offer of a hug (but did accept Bad's offer to stand near him, because at least it was something he could bring himself to accept...).
For Bagi it also doesn't help that she spends so much time with Bad, who is someone who is literally wearing his grief for all to see. No one is questioning that Bad is missing the eggs, because it's obvious. But just like no one (other than Foolish and Baghera) realised just how depressed Bad was in his vacation arch because of the carefree attitude he put on, Foolish's demeanor has made it so his grief is not obvious to those who aren't willing to look a bit deeper. Most people are willing to accept whatever they see on the surface, and not attempt to look beyond that. I'm sure other islanders other than Foolish are also being misunderstood - an example would be Tubbo's comment that no one seemed to care and no one was doing anything to find the eggs, without knowing about Bad's drastic actions, or Philza's breakdown over Tallulah's letter, or Fit's quiet grief, or Aypierre's increased drinking, or Roier's deterioration, and all the other things the parents and relatives of the missing eggs were feeling and going through.
Anyway I am rambling, but long story short it is frustrating when the new members don't understand the grief of Foolish because they accept his surface level persona, and that is something Foolish himself is perpetuating, but just remember that even if the new islanders don't understand, all the old islanders do. Even if they don't speak it out loud, and some are more obvious that others, they are all united with Foolish in their grief.
#foolish#leonarda#im sure i wrote exactly this after the moise and tubbo comments#but it is buried in my drafts so#whoooops essay#qsmp#yes i did shove in a landduo parallel at the end re: vacation arch and this who is going to stop me#(forgive my stream of consciousness essay and tags my brain is in Monday Mode)#PS the misconceptions are proof Foolish is too good at hiding his true self imagine the chaos he can cause with that#only bad and a few others would be prepared
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Silk Song RAMBLE.
I have a really hard time containing my excitement so
SPOILERS FOR SILKSONG! do not read anymore of this if you want to go into silksong spoiler free!
OK BUT LIKE- The updated HK wiki was a thing today and I went and looked at the silksong part of it. and OH MY GOD- I know most of these things already but everything about silksong makes me just so excited-
silksong has a lot of things that I love and adore already and team cherry really just picked up everything I love and put it into one game, which makes me literally wanna jump around my room cuz I'm so happy
Ok rambling about things now
Up first moss grotto:
THIS PLACE MAKES ME SO HAPPY. I love moss, and I love lily pads. I love EVERYTHING about this place! I love the atmosphere of it and the feeling it gives off. It feels very comforting in an odd way, with all the moss and plants mixed with what I assume to be bones makes a really comforting place.
The enemies shown here are also really really cute, I just wanna hug them, they look like they'd be soft. Something about moss grotto makes it seem like the perfect place to come sit and stay if you needed some alone time, I know that sounds weird but it's the best way I can describe it-
Random but in the nintendo treehouse live from forever ago you could see the shell shards ROLL on the ground! and when Hornet walks on the moss it actually looks like she's walking on it! I bring this up because of how cool but more, real feeling? It makes everything feel. The fact that the currency and the shell shards roll on the ground gives it more gravity and just- overall a very cool feel to what it would be like to, idk, hold it?
Geo in Hollow Knight kinda bounces around so it's like, not as realistic idk man-
Another thing is Hornet, she seems to have more gravity to her, she can't jump as high or walk/run as fast as the knight did making her almost feel, heavier. She seems like she's much heavier than Ghost was
Next up, Deep docks: (the second one is my PC's wallpaper lol)
Deep docks feels very, hot, for obvious reason. Something about deep docks aesthetic is just SO COOL. I'm writing this part from memory of the treehouse live so if I'm wrong about stuff, sorry
I love the rocks and bones in Deep docks, actually I love the amount of bones in most of the screenshots and trailer things I've seen- so cool, but also in deep docks it's really cool to see the bones, rocks, magma, and machinery all mixed together
I really love Lace's arena, if you look in the background you can see some moss vines (?) hanging down so that makes me think It's really close to moss grotto, but it also gives her arena a more of an overgrown feel, which is really nice
ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT LACE'S CRAZY AIR ATTACK?? That attack is probably my favorite out of all her moves, the way she comes back down to the ground and shakes the whole place is SO COOL- she's definitely gonna be a hard boss for me to beat but DAMN she's gonna be a fun boss
Also the fact that Hornet and Lace are just fighting above flowing magma like it's nothing is badass
The Citadel:
HOLY SHIT?? THERE'S SO MUCH I CAN TALK ABOUT WITH THIS ONE SCREENSHOT.
The way the floor is makes the room feel very omen and very big. The room also feels old, and dusty- What seems to be torn cloths and curtains around the place makes it seem like that place has been there for a very long time. I assume and guess the Citadel is doing to play a very big and important role in the story of this game, and in the lore of Pharloom.
Idk who this warrior is but he seems cool, two swords and everything. There isn't much footage of the Citadel at all which makes me a little upset because this place seems just so, so grand, so big, so IMPORTANT. I also don't know why but the colors make it feel royal.
This- Place:
I'd live here, saying that right now, I'd live here. I'd find a cozy little bell to live in and stay there forever. I know the guy to the right of Hornet is singing so maybe this is a safe space in Pharloom? I would think it to be like how dirtmouth is, shops but also a calm place to be after fighting for your life for the millionth time.
It's really cool how bells have been turned into homes, It's a really cool touch to this place and it makes it feel really cozy. I think the bell homes would be hanging from the ceiling, cavern roof, whatever you wanna call it- And the bug either fly or climb ladders to get into the bell houses!
This place just radiates safe, and homey- once again, I will find a bell and make it my home.
This:
Not much to say about it because I know so little about it, but the fact that Hornet is fighting what I assume is I giant robot bug? omg, Also it looks like it's rusting so is it not affected by the magma but affected by something else? Or is that just weird red plants, Idk
Coral Place:
THERE. ARE. FISH.
This place feeds my internal love of pirates, and anything ocean. The coral looks so alive and this place seems like it's gonna have cool stuff in it
PLEASE TELL ME THIS GUYS IS A PIRATE OR SOMETHING- He looks like a pirate, I'm not the only one who think that right? Like, a knight pirate
This arena feels very small and, humid. Probably because it is either underwater or close to water. it seems really misty in there.
The fact that the lanterns are held with coral, vine, things is so cool- Also there's pipes in the background! Maybe those are connected to something? I'm not trying to theorize everything I just think the possibilities are cool-
I'mma call this the swamp place:
This looks like a swamp, what kind? an eerie one. It almost looks like there's ash in the air! Also the vine things in the back? so cool, the more faded they get makes this area feel very misty or foggy, which gives it a feeling of, idk, eeriness? spooky? The guy here looks like he's using a fishing pole as a weapon- which makes sense given the amount of water.
The grass and, I forgot what those are called. SWAMP REEDS- are really big so it makes this place feel WAY bigger, or hornet way smaller. Not sure but I can't wait to explore this place and Probably get lost along the way.
GEARS:
I don't know what this place is, what it's for, but it feels almost steampunk so that's an automatic love from me. Also love these little flying guys, they're really cute and yeah- The gears are also super cool! It almost looks like she's inside a clock :0
This place feels warm but not, dry or humid. Just warm, a comfy warm
This section is just stuff I wanna ramble about/add so:
Cutely going insane over the fact that this place is probably a Giant rib cage
THIS PLACE. IDK WHAT IT IS OR WHAT IT'LL DO BUT I LOVE IT.
JUST LOOK AT THAT BACKGROUND- Like, the 'sky' looks blue. ARE WE OUTSIDE? omg- I also love all the building in the back I just OMGOMG- It also looks like there's giant pipes, maybe it's close to the Citadel? Idk but this place makes me feel so happy I just wanna stare at it, I WANNA EXPLORE-
If you've made it this far thanks- This was the only place I could actually let out my excitement over a game that's not even out yet so- yeah- If you have any questions about stuff I rambled about or said then feel free to put something in my inbox about it so, yeah-
#idk#idk how to tag this#silksong#hollow knight silksong#hollow knight lace#hollow knight hornet#silksong lace#silksong hornet#hornet hk#hk#hollow knight#ramble post#sorry for the essay#fandom#please tell me your thoughts#I love this#I'm so excited#yeah#ramble#cool#so cool#I love#omg#omgomgomg#alaskaartz rambles
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I LOVE the new boys, i have SO many questions and thoughts about them, you have such amazing imagination, What would a relationship with them be like? Would they have the initiative or us? how would they do it?, You don't have to answer i'm kinda rambling sorry, your work always makes me smile
Thank you! I did have some thoughts about that!
Spectr (Transcendtale Sans): He plays hard to get… except he’s not really playing, he…he actually is hard to get. As much as he can see lots in you worthy of love and admiration, himself… Well. He’s complicated, you know? Emotionally and logistically, in more ways than one. You can certainly find someone better suited to appreciate you than him…but he has a hard time staying away, and if you chase after him, he probably won’t be able to find it in himself to run. He falls into a relationship with you like planets fall into orbit—a slow, synchronous dance as natural and irresistible as the tides.
PapAIrus (Transcendtale Papyrus): He’s absolutely taking the lead, the one to approach you and actively try to charm the pants off you possibly literally. He finds you interesting, fun, and how else is he supposed to find out if you’d like to play with him if he doesn’t ask? He’s bound to be a little light-hearted and flippant about your relationship at the start, maybe not taking it as seriously as you’d like. He’s got his head in the cloud, and all the data and information and free access to everyone and everything on the planet in there is a lot to compete with—but don’t doubt you’ll win out in the end. He’ll serious up as time goes by, but no matter how serious he gets about you, you’ll never stop being his favorite plaything.
Xanth (Ascendswap Sans): He’ll take the initiative but he might come on a little strong, or…weird…because he’s weird. He’s very genuine and open with why he’s interested in you so the straightforwardness could either be refreshing or uncomfortable, depending on how it lands with you. Mostly, he just wants to get to know you more so he’s fine with whatever pace you set from there, as long as he gets to be around your energy. In a relationship, he likes to go with your flow, just be and do and feel with you and see where the wind takes you both—wherever you end up, he’ll have had a great traveling companion for the road.
Piper (Ascendswap Piper): It could go either way with him. He’s certainly not too shy to approach someone he’s interested in, but neither does he dislike the ego-boost of getting someone to come to him. In both cases he’s a smooth operator, his ‘trick’ not required. In a relationship, he makes a point of being your Prince Charming, whether it’s your first date or your hundredth, and all the time in between, too. For all that he’s genial and pleasant from the start, he will take some time to really warm up and trust you—to introduce you to his family, to share his past, to let you see more than just the clean and polished parts of him—but once he does defrost, he’s all yours.
Carmine (Underfell Fruition Sans): If he’s interested, he’s letting you know immediately with…varying levels of respect (on the low end, ranging between a double-take and a maybe-not-meant-to-be-out-loud ‘goddamn’). He likes to flirt and talks a big game but… he’s actually pretty new to this kinda thing, and in a relationship, he probably wants to keep things casual for awhile, nothing too serious too fast. He just got out of lockup, he’s not really looking to settle down right away, y’know? But he’s perfectly willing to adhere to the rules of engagement, so if you don’t mind casual for awhile, he’s plenty of fun, a great plus-one for everything, guaranteed. And if you are willing to wait him out, the ‘not too serious’ thing isn’t forever, of course. What, like he’s gonna let The One get away over a bit of commitment? Pfft…
Tank (Underfell Fruition Papyrus): It’s gonna be down to you to make the first move, he has no idea what he’s doing and is still kind of figuring out what he’s allowed to do or ask for, even if he’s very smitten with you—and why wouldn’t he be? He definitely needs to be told that you’re open to having him in your space, as part of your life in that way, or he may not want to risk upsetting you. For the same reason, he needs patience in a relationship because he moves slowly and doesn’t really know how to talk about his feelings. A little grace as he navigates a new kind of relationship with way different rules than the other kinds goes a long way, and with it, he warms up quickly to some of the perks that non-platonic affection and intimacy allow him. He tends to speak more with his gestures and actions than what he says, so never mistake a lack of words for a lack of feeling—he feels a lot, and he just needs to figure out what do with it all!
Vi (Swapfell Fruition Sans): Most likely to make the first move, but… he has no charm whatsoever, and a very direct approach that might be a little off-putting. …Then again, ‘weird guy rizz’ alone might at least (somehow) score him a date, or two, or three, and you could go from there. He’s committed from the jump and puts as much thought and care and meticulous planning into your relationship as any high-profile political assassination he’s ever managed…which is probably something he shouldn’t say to you, another one of those awkward, off-putting things… He has his issues, of course—secrecy, insecurity, emotional constipation—but he always takes you very seriously and never wants to lose esteem in your eyes. You are someone he doesn’t want to lose.
Hunter (Swapfell Fruition Papyrus): Yeah, he’s taking the initiative and doing it well, he’s a good flirt, fun, and persistent, and he has a way of getting people to go home with him against their better judgment—hey, he doesn’t mind being a guilty pleasure and in fact, maybe he could be yours…? As far as a relationship goes, he doesn’t take too much seriously, so it’s bound to be pretty casual for awhile, like a game of tug-of-war played with a (poorly-behaved) dog, back and forth, give and take, just a fun game you both play. …However. At some point, a switch will flip in his head when he decides he’s your ride-or-die, full commitment and no more playing games about it. This could happen at basically any point, very early in your relationship or very late. He cannot tell you when it will flip, and nothing you do or don’t do will influence the flip, because neither he nor anyone else has any control over the switch. Such are the pitfalls of trying to romance a heavily-mindfucked former assassin, but you two will figure it out eventually.
Kohl (Descendtale Sans): It’s complicated. Honestly, he’s probably so deeply in denial that he’s into you that it’ll take a Category 5 Inciting Jealousy Incident to get his head out of his ass about it make him admit his feelings. He’s a bit of a pigtail-puller if he likes you, but he’s also a kind of a pigtail-puller if he doesn’t like you, so you’ll want to keep an eye out for the distinction of him seeking you out or spending time with you on purpose—he tends to remove himself from situations where humans are involved as soon as it’s feasible, so if he’s lingering around you, or coming to find you, or seeming to make a deliberate nuisance of himself as soon as someone else has your attention, he might be a little bit interested. If you’re not content to wait for him, you may need to do what he does and needle the hell out of him until you make him admit it but don’t do so lightly—he’s like a mousetrap, if you spring him, you’re stuck with him, he’s yours and good luck returning him without the receipt. In a relationship, he’ll keep up his hassling and assorted shithead behaviors, but there’s a softening towards you and he will actually be capable of some tender, intimate moments. …Some.
Bram (Descendtale Papyrus): Definitely making the first move and just enough of a gentleman to not come on too strong… At least not at first—it wouldn’t do to scare you away right off the bat! There might be some pitfalls a bit later on because he is probably going to want to move a little faster in the relationship than you do, even if you’re a fast mover yourself, but that’s just the abandonment issues talking. He’s very sweet and responds well to constructive criticism about his pacing issues, such as ‘It is too soon to talk about living together’ or ‘I’m not ready to get married until…’ Mostly his concern is that you are happy and comfortable and enjoy spending time with him! Because he enjoys spending time with you and he wants to be able to do that a lot! (You see? He said ‘a lot’ instead of ‘forever’ that time, he remembered when you said that sounded like ‘some horror movie shit’!) In any case, he’s very affectionate and accommodating in a relationship and with maybe some steps taken to mitigate the separation anxiety, he’s a loving and attentive partner for as long as you’ll have him.
#your-pumpkin-universe#headcanons#transcendtale#ascendswap#underfell fruition#swapfell fruition#descendtale
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"when we found love in summer" (jing yuan)
plot: march 7th helps prepare you for a beach date with jing yuan. with a nervous heart, you finally muster the courage to confess to him.
notes: this fanfic is quite self indulgent, especially because i'm a literal sucker for anything summer related. also i wrote some of this at 2am whilst having ponytail to shushu by akb48 on loop and the rest like 8 hours later.
content warning: fem! reader, reader is shy, reader is black coded, jing yuan is a tease.
"march, is this really necessary?" i sighed as my friend scurried across the bedroom, deep in thought. "i can tell very easily that your feelings for jing yuan are so intense! the way you behave, especially when you're staring at him, is so obvious!" i looked away from march 7th, already feeling embarrassed about showing my emotions too much.
"my main issue is confessing to him. if i keep chickening out, i won't be able to confess to him before the end of summer..." i mumbled. "i don't know what kind of taste he has when it comes to women, i barely know anything about him and worse yet...he's intimidating..." march tiptoes in my direction with a smug look on her face. "i know just the solution to your romantic woes~" she whispers.
"h-hey! is it really necessary to dress up so much like this?" i ask, watching march 7th rummage through a suitcase full of accessories. "come on! the most important thing when it comes to confessing your crush is to look as amazing as possible! it's summer, so that means you'll have to wear something cute to impress jing yuan!" she says as she picks up a pink bikini with a yellow and orange hibiscus pattern. "this one's so cute! it suits your skin tone!" march squeals as she held it against my body. "isn't it a bit too...revealing? it looks a bit..small." i ask, examining the bikini carefully.
"don't worry! you'll find out once you put it on~!" she chirps. "but first i should get your hair ready, then pick out your jewelry, and after that i need to get you a body shimmer and perhaps a glitter tattoo..." march 7th continues rambling on as i pondered about. although i admired how determined and confident she was about getting jing yuan and i together, i couldn't help but feel a bit nervous about the whole thing. it would be a total bust if she put a lot of hard work into assembling an outfit for me only to get rejected by him.
"and...done!" march 7th huffed as she finally adjusted the flower in my hair. i stared at myself in the mirror, taking in my current look and feeling slightly flustered. "isn't the makeup a bit too much?" i asked, watching her grab a bottle of perfume and spray it on my arms. "it'll be fine!" she assures me. "you already know how you're going to confess, right?" she asks. i nodded. "good luck (name)! and don't forget to fill me in on the details once you come back!" march 7th screams as i shyly wave back at her before leaving the beach house.
it didn't take me too long to see jing yuan at the beach, staring at the glittering ocean and beyond. i couldn't help but take in the view of him. he looked so majestic, his hair flowing in the wind, that pretty mole under his left eye, his amazing, sexy body...i eventually snapped out of my thoughts but it was too late because he already noticed me staring at him a little too hard. "hello there, (name). it's been a while." jing yuan smiled at me. "hi! i was wondering if...if you're free today because i was thinking of spending the day with you." i say. jing yuan takes my hand his, "sure, you can watch me surf." he says as he places a gentle kiss on my hand. i could feel my face warm up due to his actions and my body stiffen due to my emotions eventually getting the better of me. i eventually calm myself as i watch him grab his surfboard and jog towards the waves.
after watching jing yuan surf for an hour, he finally returned to the shore. i couldn't help but notice the way the droplets cascaded down his muscles. "like what you see?" his voice snapped me back to reality. a smirk grew on his lips as he leaned closer towards me. "l-let's...grab lunch together!" i suggest, trying to change the subject as i got up and dusted myself. jing yuan chuckles as he follows me behind, a small tint of pink dusted across his cheeks.
a few hours later, we were walking across the shoreline, watching the sun set across the horizon and bathing the beach in various shades of orange and pink. as jing yuan looked off into the distance, i hastily mustered my courage to confess my feelings to him. "j-jing yuan...?" i whispered. he turns around and focuses himself onto me, making my heart pound intensely. i automatically look down at the sand as my brain quickly pieced together my confession for him. "ever since i met you, i felt like i can't take you off my mind. everything about you is absolutely perfect that not even this sunset could match it...or even the sky. my love for you is more vast than the skies, deeper than the ocean and more passionate than the sun...i-i really love you." i blurted out, preparing myself to be rejected. i felt his arms embracing my body, bringing me closer to him. "i love you too, (name)." jing yuan responded. "you're the prettiest woman i've ever met, it's as if you were crafted by god himself...i've never seen a woman so kind and courageous like you...ever."
we eventually pull away from each other to stare at each other in the eyes. the space between us eventually disappeared as jing yuan trapped my lips in his. his arms snaked around my waist as he brought me closer to deepen the kiss. after a few seconds, he pulled away. a soft smile appeared on his face as he adjusted the flower in my hair. "i almost forgot to tell you...you looked gorgeous today." he whispered shyly. i laughed as i leaned into his face and kissed the mole under his left eye, as the sun disappeared under the horizon.
this is a much longer fanfic i decided to put out today xD. it's so self indulgent hahaha. likes and reblogs are appreciated!
#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#jing yuan x reader#hsr x you#honkai star rail x you#jing yuan#jing yuan x you
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Okay so. Serious post time. I'm gonna put this entire thing under a cut, but I'm also gonna post some TWs here: medical malpractice, uncertain diagnoses, family trauma / drama, grief, anxiety rambles???
But I am gonna take like. A semi-hiatus, just so I can catch up on what I owe.
I haven't talked about this over here, or on Tumblr in general. Only one person who follows me here knows about this bc we're friends on another platform.
So.
Y'all have noticed, my days don't follow a set schedule. I've been unemployed since my campus suddenly closed with very little warning back in '22. Immediately after that closing, we took a small trip to MS to be with family for Christmas, and that trip was... Bad. And on the 1st of last year, I had an accident- i was taking down Christmas lights and fell and busted open my head. I had an untreated, late diagnosed concussion thar no one really... followed up on, and have had slight memory loss even now from it.
So I couldn't work until my head healed up from that.
But that's not the medical thing. That is my mother. In October 2021, my mother went in for a routine stint placement that resulted in loss of almost total blood flow to her left leg for 36 hours. They almost had to amputate, she almost died on the table twice, she was hospitalized for a year. ( we've tried the legal route, but because the doctor never admitted fault on paper, he cannot be held liable & suing hospitals is... Difficult. Even though she has permanent damage, can no longer feel anything below the knee, and has to wear a brace to walk. ) My mother already had a weak heart to begin with due to years of smoking + cardiac disease. This was the first nail, essentially. This damaged her heart... a lot.
Back to the concussion. 4 days after my concussion, she had a massive heart attack that nearly killed her. She flatlined twice on the table. It was after this that we got confirmation that she is in congestive heart failure. My grandfather died from it. It's
... It's hard. We don't know which stage she's in because her cardiologist won't tell us, but we think she's in stage 2, or maybe 3. We don't know. But because of this, I am the one who takes care of 95% of everything around the house & outside. I do lawncare, I do the planting, I do the garden. She can do a lot, still, but when her heart gets going- it's painful. So I've been her caretaker since 2021 when the initial accident happened.
My grandmother is nearly 90 and has... Many health problems but somehow is also doing better than most folks I know. She's a mystery. And my aunt had a double knee surgery but somethings wrong with her knees, and they think the surgeries rejected, so she can't get around well or drive longer than an hour away. My grandmother no longer drives & isn't renewing her license. My mother can drive, but we don't want her to unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.
So I'm the only one who can drive them around.
I have my own medical issues [ anxiety, depression, type 1 diabetes, cracked tailbone that never got treatment & is giving me hell for that- ]
So. Basically. A lot of my time isn't my time. And when I do have free time, I do try to write and chat as much as I can. At night, after I get mom to bed, I call my partner warner and we get a few hours together and then we have to go to sleep bc we're in a ldr & their timezone is an hour ahead of mine.
... I'm rambling.
It's just. It's hard sometimes. And a lot of the time I sort of sit on my back porch and cry because I'm doing this- physically- alone. Literally everyone else is 4+ hours away across the state. Or 9 hours south on the Gulf Coast, or 7 hours south in Louisiana.
I do try to stay on top of things the best I can, I really really do, but things slip through my fingers. I'm gonna try my best to get all caught up over this coming week, I think. But if my responses are delayed for threads, for discord messages- chances are, I'm busy with one of my lil ol' ladies.
On top of all of this, I live in a town of less than 900, the nearest city is 45 minutes in any direction, and the nearest BIG city is 2+ hours in any direction. Finding a job that isn't in Healthcare is impossible. And I have nothing against those who are in healthcare- I applaud you. But all of my trauma can be tied back to hospital ERs and any time I step foot into a hospital, I immediately have anxiety & can only hear the night we learned about my dad. So I physically cannot force myself to go into that field.
Which is... a whole other thing, this is getting too long. But I've been searching for a job for the past year and a half, have had 5 interviews, each one ended with "thanks for interviewing! However,". It's hard.
So I just.
My plate is a lil bit full. But I love writing. I love the rpc. It'sa comfort and a joy and I love meeting new friends and making new connections and I want to do this as long as I can but sometimes things get a little slow. That's all.
... anyways yeah. Semi hiatus. Cool.
#𝕻𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖜𝖎𝖓𝖉: [ o o c ]#tw: medical#tw: grief#tw: family problems#tw: anxiety#[ if ive missed a tw im so sorry i genuinely dont know what else to tag w/ a warning here ]
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So, I wrote a backstory for Black Hole. Call me cringe all you want but it's mostly a different universe where the contestants have parents and families, which, we don't know where they came from in actuality. But that also gives us free reign to let our creativity flow. So that's exactly what I'm gonna do!
Thank you so much to NariiennTunes as I said, a very good friend of mine who listened to me ramble about this idea and also helped in a lot of areas.
Also, note, that not all of this is gonna be completely accurate to real life astronomy. I'm still learning about it currently but I'm not gonna stress myself out over the accuracy of it because there's a literal black hole in the show and he's not ALWAYS sucking up people left and right, and hasn't destroyed their earth yet. And also, he was compressed into a smaller size. So there you have it. Now, on with the storyline!
And finally, for the people who asked to see it specifically:
@tarochinomochi
@indescribable-infatuation
Way back in the past, growing up, Black Hole, being an alien (in my headcanon/gijinka), lived on a planet called Astramios. Where stars, galaxies, comets and asteroids alike all live together personified in harmony.
Except, it wasn't harmony.
There was constant suffering, death and wars. Higher ups were corrupt and the lower class were forced to accept the fact that they'd never be treated as equal. Aliens alike brushed off constant death as if it was nothing to get sad over.
All, except for few. And one of those few was Black Hole. He was exposed to death from a very early age, his parents not exactly being the most loving or nurturing. Everybody's way of thinking on his planet—
kill or be killed.
He hated it.
He hated the constant death, the wars, the fighting, the screams—the suffering.
He grew up in the middle of war.
But, Black Hole wasn't always Black Hole.
Mu Cephei, son and prodigy of V Cephei and Ky Cygni, some of the most powerful and high class stars on their planet. With a reputation to uphold, there's no room for remorse, or emotions or sympathy. They must raise their son to be able to defend himself and honor his family's name.
Black Hole was once Mu Cephei.
His parents put excessive amounts of pressure on him, especially his dad—V Cephei, who's name was passed onto him. Constant training since the age of 10 to be a soldier, a warrior, a general. A leader.
No matter how much it tired him.
No matter how much it hurt.
No matter how much he just wanted peace.
He must be the best, and continue his family’s legacy.
Mu Cephei never liked fighting, or the training, anything that his family raised him with really—the only thing he was grateful for was knowing how to use his powers, and even then, it was only purposed for fighting.
He doesn't WANT to fight.
But, one day, he had gotten too close to a battle while outdoors, only trying to gather food for himself and his family. That was a mistake.
A blast was sent in his direction, and he couldn't avoid it—and before he knew it—he blacked out.
A while later, he had woken up, but not as his usual self. He was…darker, he felt different, and he was sucking up things around him.
He was a black hole.
By the time he came to, his parents had surrounded him, forcing him up to his feet and leading him home. He had no idea what to do, or say. They seemed angry. He did break one of the first rules they taught him, after all.
Never let your guard down.
He was…scarred, to say the least. As a star, it wasn't as hard to avoid hurting people and cause destruction, because — well…he was a star. Still powerful, but not out of control.
He hardly knew what he was now. And his parents didn't look at him the same anymore.
It ultimately left them disappointed, and ashamed of their own son. They were upper class aliens, for constellation’s sake! He can't destroy both his and their reputation like that!
But either way, they both kept training him. Trained him to re-learn everything as this new species of alien, and Black Hole did his best to follow, even when he felt out of control all the time.
By the time he was of age, the relationship between him and his parents was worse than ever—and the state of their planet was awful. It was evil.
He hated pain, he hated death, and all it had to offer.
He hated seeing others just die on the spot, even with how they all had thoughts and feelings and their own lives—but nobody seemed to care!
It often felt like he was the only one who did.
So, just like that—when he got the chance…
He left, without looking back.
It was a hard decision, all things considered, but he knew he'd survive wandering space—as long as he was careful.
But no doubt it got…lonely.
The constant silence was better than constant war, but it was still…chilling. Being all alone with nobody but yourself was lonely, isolating. But he didn't have a choice. And even then, people still got hurt by him. Traveling into space and getting sucked up by him, the screaming and then the inevitable silence all over again, and he could hardly do anything about it.
Until…he found Earth.
Coming to Earth was an odd decision. With the help of an odd, blue alien, his powers and essence in general was condensed on Earth’s atmosphere so he could live there. Before the challenge started, he was hesitant on even staying, seeing as even with the limited abilities… he was still dangerous. But overtime, he learned to control it better, and was somewhat content.
This world was so beautiful, and so much less corrupt than his old home. People weren't constantly killing eachother.
Okay, that last bit is a lie. Death was still prevelant, and brushed off. But it was more understandable because they had recovery centers, and he liked THAT at least…
But seeing death, over and over again was awful. Traumatizing..Tiring. Like he was living out his old life all over again. Especially if the suffering was at his own hands.
So, obviously, upon joining the challenge and seeing others just as ecstatic about a pacifistic life as he was—was…uplifting.
He felt like he had a chance at not being a monster for once.
He threw away his old name, Mu Cephei, and went by his new one permanently.
Black Hole.
And that's how it all began.
#black hole#black hole bfb#bfdi#bfdi black hole#bfdi headcanon#bfdi prompt#prompt#writing#backstory#battle for bfdi#object show community#bfb#the power of two
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Yesterday my friend and I finished playing Ace Attorney: Apollo Justice on German! NOW,
Here's my personal opinion review of the German AA4 translation!
(And my free pass to ramble about my favourite game!) POSSIBLE SPOILERS for Apollo Justice, at least if you speak German!
1. Settings and names:
The game is set in the fandom-wide known Japanifornia still, and the translation doesn't really seem to make an effort to make it look like the game is placed in Germany, which I am somewhat glad about! Locations are, if so, translated very directly and at least to me it seemed like it kept its funny "Japanese/American" touch!
No names have been changed in the German version APART from Klaviers. Which makes sense, as the world Klavier in German is a literal object (just meaning Piano as most people know) and as a piano is also frequently mentioned I am not surprised they changed it. However, Klaviers German name is "Kantilen" which also includes a reference to music - however I mist admit I would have NEVER gotten this connection myself, making it... not a really good reference in my mind. I am quite surprised that they didn't stick with his French name Konrad, which is in fact an actual known and used name in Germany, other than Kantilen. There is no hint on the Gavins culture or anything, means Klavier unfortunately loses his touch of switching between languages, however I am somewhat glad that they didn't just changed it to any other language! So I am satsified and believe most of the English name puns were easy to figure out for a German person as well! :)
2. "Quality" of translation:
Here is a hard one. I should criticise the translation after all. Because I am genuinely surprised HOW MANY random typos the translation had. Sometimes they forgot words, sometimes a random letter would show up, sometimes a word was written wrong, or two words were written together that shouldn't. HOWEVER...
I must be honest, I thought it was absolutely HILARIOUS. It brought me a really good laugh whenever a random typo or word showed up, as if the person speaking ingame hasn't quite nailed the language yet. So I cannot actually say that it bothered me! I'll use one of said mistakes to come over to another point -
3. Use of formal language:
Now, this is something I just thought would be interesting to mention! In Germany "you" can be either said more commonly "Du" or more formally "Sie". Personally I thought it was extremely interesting to see who would use which word on which character as it was great to see how "different" their relationships actually are! As an example: When Apollo meets Phoenix and Trucy, they both immediately use the common "you" (du) on him, Apollo himself instead uses the formal version (Sie) for Phoenix mostly. Even more interesting was to me how Phoenix and Kristoph at the beginning of the first case while still being "friends" did use the common "you" on one another, until things get heated and they both don't only start calling each other by their last names, but also addressing each other formally and therefore more distanced! I thought that was really cool!... Up to the point where they appearantly couldn't decide between formal or non formal and just... made it to one non existing word. Another mistake that made me, personally, laugh rather than shaming it tho!
4. Use of specific language/ dialogue flow:
Lastly, the game translation deserves a big plus for the use of very specific German words that I wasn't expecting to see from the characters! Words as "Sonntagsfahrer" which cannot be directly translated but bring so much more character into it! The German language has a lot of specific words to express certain situations or emotions and they made really good use of this! Additionally it was simply funny to see the character use them. Of course Phoenix (no licence) would know what a Sonntagsfahrer is.
Here are some of my personal favourites when it comes to the use of specific words I somehow didn't expect!
Also; They make good use of common German slang. As an example, on some point Phoenix calls Zak "Kollege", not as in workmate, but a slang, and Woky keeps on saying "Alter" a lot, which is so very fitting. I was really expecting hin to say "Bruder" or "Diggah" next.
Lastly; Despite the errors they made the conversations on German feel really natural! I've got a lot of random scenes that made me smile and gave the characters such a strong personality! So - Here are some more!
If you made it this far: Congrats and thanks for coming to my Ted talk! Fact is - if you speak German and find it just as hilarious to me to hear and see these characters speak German I definitely recommend AA4 on German, it's been FUN!
PS: The fact that psyche locks are translated as "Psychosche Blockaden" truly killed me.Klar, ich hab jeden Morgen auch so ne psychische Blockade. 🫡
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anyone else ever think about weird quirks or stereotypes behind each sub-class?
like for example, when an arc user is excited they start sparking HJSDHFK. or arc users are typically associated with acting more on the erratic, chaotic side.
or solar peeps being more passionate and emotional in general, and whenever they do get like that, they start heating up and possibly become a fire hazard. 💀
Void seems a little tricky, but I'd like to imagine them being more of a detached, "empty" and kind of edgy. If they were in a bad mood, you'd feel a chill up your spine, but if they were comfortable with you, maybe you'd feel a "still" in a peaceful sort of way. I don't know how to word it lol
Stasis would be a bit like solar and void. They're literally icy, sharp, snappy, perhaps a little slow but always on point. They're probably constantly radiating just...coldness haha.
Strand confuses me. It'd be like arc in a sense, because it could be erratic, but then it's more....intentional. Woven. They are free flowing, exuberant, but perhaps a bit overwhelming. Tangling. Not really sure how to sum it up hahah
anyway um yeah ramble over. if yah have any thoughts to add on or object to, let me know :D :D
#destiny 2#destiny#destiny lore#lore/logic rambles#but seriously#i like discussing this silly thoughts with anyone#even if we wildly disagree#also maybe i should note that ive only played arc o-|-<#and breifly stasis and probably solar (starting sub class??)#so i am not the most qualified person wheeze#but hey it's just my head cannons#also yummy text colors
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I beat Persona 5 Royal
aaaaaaa AAAAAAAA a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a
a
Knocking another game off the list of games I should have played a long time ago, and this one is just... so so so so good. Ever since I booted it up I was absolutely absorbed into the game the entire way through. I don't think I really had Persona in my sight until Joker was announced for Smash a while back, and then this game was always like "I really need to at least interact with it like I have every other character in Smash", but that obviously took a while. I am glad I waited though, cause from what I've heard, Royal is just objectively the better experience. For what is my first entry into the series, it completely hooked me and I am in for the rest (and also SMT but that's later)
Gameplay
Turn! Based! RPG! Of course I'm gonna fucking like it I love turn based RPGs. But like actual shit, there's two aspects to this game and I love them both.
Battling/Hanging out in the Metaverse is very fun. All turn based needs to really pop off in the modern day is fun options, and I feel as though I am given that. Baton passing alone is all I really needed, as it makes me think of the optimal order to take down each enemy for the best result. I absolutely loved the magical elements used. Like yeah you got the classic Fire, Ice, Wind, Electricity, but then you also got fucking Psy, Bless, Curse, and my new favorite of all time Nuke???? I love Nuke so much it's such a cool concept! They each have like, their own unmentioned counters/duos which is super cool! Also Almighty goes incredibly hard. Then you add on the buffs and debuffs. I FREQUENTLY used all of them and felt like they were critical to fights which is awesome. Combine these two for technicals, certain statuses making a weakness when hit with certain elements, it's just such a joy and it makes battles where I can actively use all of these something I look forward to (and then when you have a stupid bullshit fight and your name is Okumura, I hate you forever and I'm going to date your daughter in revenge, FUCK that fight eternally it was the only boss I actively disliked).
The other half of the game is your slice of life student simulator. The other half of the game is also like crack, and I swear they put demons in the game cause something would possess me whenever I got to roam the world. Despite the limited clock, I relished managing my time. I loved thinking of who to spend my time with, when to focus on skills rather than confidants, how to optimize my Mementos trips, knocking out an entire Palace all at once so I could have maximum time for the rest of the month, it was so addictive! It really came to a head in the Royal Third Semester section where I literally created saves and calculated if I had enough time to do everything I wanted to, and finished it on Literally the last free day. Also, when like 75% of your game is writing, it helps when the writing is good, and I absolutely loved reading everything, but maybe I'll talk about that more later.
Last bit that I'm gonna expand on why I love more later, but I was NOT expecting this game to be a monster collector. Regardless, I loved the flow of collecting new guys, then seeing what I could fuse together to obtain.
Characters
I! Love! This! Cast! I love them to the bottom of my heart! The best way to make me love an RPG is by making me care about the core group to the bottom of my heart and I do. When I write these, I mean the tag of game ramblings literally cause this is all just stream of thought, so I have a feeling this is gonna be the longest section. Sorry in advance.
The Phantom Thieves of Hearts is a name that goes incredibly hard (and I wish they didn't make me name the group separately cause I just stuck with the default anyways (I'm a default daniel)), and a group that I hope keeps their group chat open for the rest of their lives and is always friends.
Ryuji is my fucking BOY. I don't care if he's an idiot and needs to keep his damn mouth shut sometimes, I'm ride or die with that dude for life. I thought his backstory as a former track star now dealing with his physical disability and ruined record was really interesting, and added an extra layer to the usual delinquent + stupid best friend energy. In battles, I would bring him in when I needed to smash shit, cause he does that Very well. Captain Kidd is a sick design and namesake, and I really wish I could have kept the basic design.
Morgana :) kitty (despite what he says). I'll admit, he's not my Favorite of the bunch (this does not mean he is bad! B tier is still good, but it is ultimately below A and S!) as his bits of I'm NOT A CAT and Lady Ann~ didn't really hit it for me, and I didn't usually use him in battles, as Joker tended to take over the wind damage role (although I always used him for healing outside, or in harder battles), but I cannot deny that he's a very good companion. It was nice to have your little buddy always by your side. He's with you when you're playing games. He's cheering you on while you eat a big burger. He lays on top of you at night like a cat is best at doing and he confides his secrets in you. I get why he had his moment of weakness and insecurity, but if that was me in there, I'd be giving Morgana as much love and appreciation as I could.
Ann is so strong, both story wise and game wise. Seeing her rise up against the constant bullshit she has to deal with, from the teacher, her best friend's struggles, and other models, was inspiring, and I rooted for her constantly. I essentially always had her in battle, with the magic SP usage down passive, her fire damage being usually relevant, and her buffs/debuffs being Very useful. Ann was the goat in the whole playthrough. I almost chose her as the romance but sadly I held out and was rewarded for doing so. Also, her third awakening Persona SLAPS
Yusuke is... probably my least favorite member of the group. Again, not bad. Not hated. Just least favorite. I rarely ever used him in battle, but his up to evasion did very much come in clutch. I couldn't really mesh with his love for the arts, but that's mainly on me over the actual writing of the character I think. I did, however, really appreciate the fact that he was clearly struggling in life and had a group to back him up. I also quite enjoyed his literal starving artist shtick. Poor guy, let him eat the sushi and have more than sugar water and slice of toast for dinner.
Makoto is amazing. Such a sudden turn around from stuck up student president to the MVP of the group. Her design is so cool, I loved the biker aesthetic, the fist weapons, the fucking motorcycle! Her role as someone to bring thoughts and logic to the group, as well as the connection to an "antagonist" with her relation to Sae was very needed. I wish her confidant storyline focused a little more on her, but that's ok. The girl's an absolute badass, and a joy to have in the group. She was another essential part of the team, usually being my team buffer, but also nuke damage is goated (again it's like, my favorite element in this game). Plus both of her showtimes are amazing lmao
Futaba is my little sister, and deserves a hug. Her palace is absolutely heartbreaking, and it is something that makes me so so glad to see what happens to her afterward. Seeing her grow from a severely traumatized teen wanting to die to someone that enjoys and loves life and her friends makes me so happy. She didn't deserve ANYTHING that happened to her. Gameplay wise, once I started to get her levels up and max her confidant, she absolutely came in clutch, and somehow always consistently gave me whatever support I needed. I also quite enjoyed her constant nerd references that came really close to lawsuits (she straight up said gym leader)
Haru :) <3 I love Haru. The moment I saw her, acting like a dramatic masked hero, and then she fuckin pulls out an axe and grenade launcher, it was over. I've seen a lot of people lamenting her screen time, and while I do wish she got more, it certainly didn't stop me from enjoying her character (although maybe Royal helps that?). She's sweet, silly, caring, soft, and somehow brutal. Like Kirby in human form. I feel like she really got it rough out of the party, her dad getting assassinated, and still having to deal with the burdens of a company, but she still made it through. She's the best. Gameplay, I feel like she very much came in clutch with her Psy affinity constantly comboing for technicals, and her reflect spells protecting Joker from dying. Fuck you Okumura and the stupid fiancee you picked I'M GONNA GIVE HARU THE BEST LIFE EVER TO SPITE YOU
Akechi is interesting. The moment I see this fucker, my brain connects him to Light from Death Note. I'm constantly waiting for him to hit his villain arc. Then he joins the party, and I'm surprised! Oh shit, that's the second big rpg I've played this year that has a surprise party member I didn't know about! How cool :) Then pancakes happen, and I realize the game sucker punched me into forgetting that THE DUDE WAS SUS AS FUCK FROM THE START THE BASTARD! I really enjoyed him in the third semester though. Completely dropping the act, and powering through full of anger and spite regardless of his inevitable fate. Akechi is a cool character. I didn't use him much in battle, but he was great for big physical/gun numbers. Also Loki is a sick ass Persona.
Then the last member, Sumire. i do feel like she felt... a little forced in? Like I could definitely tell she was extra Royal content. I wish she had more scenes with the group, and longer playability. Regardless though, I still enjoyed her character. A story of someone dealing with self-esteem and aspirations of death really hits close to home, and I loved seeing her accept herself, still walk forward in life, and thrive, finding a group she belongs in. I can't say much gameplay wise cause she just wasn't there for long, but her big physical moves were very appreciated in the final battle.
Now everyone else. The other confidants were very enjoyable. Sojiro is like, EASILY the best one out of the whole group. He's my actual literal dad, and I wish Joker could have stayed with him cause fuck his real parents, if no one got me I know Sojiro got me! I also really enjoyed Iwai I'm just a sucker for dad type characters. While I don't really fuck with the whole maid-master shit, I did still really like Kawakami too. The only one I didn't really care for was Ohya. I just like... couldn't lock in with her or her story line (we love Lala though!) Everyone else, even Shinya, I wanted to see through their story, and was excited for each bit I got. (Shoutouts to Yoshida, the ONLY good politician. This is how you can tell this is a fictional game)
The villains as I look back, aren't exactly the peak of characters compared to most of the list, but they were still enjoyable. Kamoshida was the perfect introduction, an absolute scumbag the game made sure you would hate, and someone that set the tone for me of what the rest of the game would look like. Like, once I noticed the middle name of his boss fight being one of the princes of hell, I got really excited. Madarame and Kaneshiro were fine, I more appreciated what they served narratively over their actual characters. Okumura is a piece of shit and I hate him forever (but jokes aside there was something very cathartic about a game presenting a CEO as a cartoonishly evil pile of garbage), and Shido I felt was a nice way to tie everyone together, having connections to everyone from the start. I can't really call Sae a villain per se, but I will put her here anyways. I thought her palace was super cool, and her turn from antagonist to support was appreciated. Yaldabaoth I think was a cool reveal character, and an awesome classic JRPG ending, but overall I think I appreciated Shido more.
Now since this is Royal, the real MVP is Maruki. I love this dude. I appreciated him at the start, a therapist character I feel like, isn't something super common? I loved how much it seemed like he genuinely cared about people. And that was his whole deal, even to the end. He wasn't a bad guy, he honest to god cared about people. Like yeah, he wasn't doing anything the right way, and even his outfit being like a bishop or a pope showed that he was Not there mentally, but he was such a cool character. A hurt and sad man who lost too much, wanting to prevent others from feeling the same way. I think he especially makes me appreciate how the Phantom Thieves' methods don't kill, because it gave him a semi happy ending. Now, I think I've rambled about characters long enough, but again, I did really enjoy this whole cast.
Story
I think the fact that I played this game at this time in my life rather than when it came out is nothing but a benefit, because the story of a group of people hurt by society fighting back against the shitheads and taking down the corrupt really hits different (although it does have a bit of an FFVII effect where the mass popularity and marketing of the game kinda goes against the original message, I can't help but think of the possible Okumura or Kaneshiro in the background). But regardless. I was locked in the whole way through. Most of my love for the writing of this game comes with the characters and their interactions and stories, but that major theming of rebellion, fighting for the people, just sits well in my heart.
Like I mentioned before, this was my first Persona game. It also feels weird to like, Say this, but I am a big fan of Jojo as well, Part 4 being my favorite. Persona hits that same itch, that slice of life setting, a group of high schoolers having fun, enjoying their life, but also fighting against the people harming their city and way of life. It's like, a venn diagram that's a circle (I've heard 4 is even more similar and I'm looking forward to playing that next).
The writing felt very modern, like whoever was behind it was in tune with what they were portraying. The dialogue, the subjects, things that felt real, even if they were caricatured or something like that, I could see that this was a real world, and I really appreciated that.
The Look. The Vibe.
Holy fuck this game is aesthetic incarnate. The style imbued into every single pixel; the menus, the transitions, the bits where the model of like Joker, or Iwai, or Takemi moving around; the ransom letter aesthetic with the flat colors and everything MY GOD it's such a good looking game!
The music is an essential part of this as well. There's a joke I've seen occasionally (it might just be exclusive to a community I'm in but I could be wrong) that Persona 5 invented jazz, and I'd believe it honestly. The soundtrack feels like, perfect background music. It's usually not the Highlight of the scene (save for any vocal track stealing the show), but it's ALWAYS the enhancer of any moment. I can feel the stress of battle, I can feel the chill vibes of a rainy day, I get hyped when we're stealing a treasure, etc.
This game is an A+ class example of style, making any activity you're doing enjoyable.
Hoo Boy.
I mean. Fuck. I don't think I've felt this entranced by a game in a good while. VII Rebirth was up there for sure, but something about Persona just felt addicting.
Something I really really really loved about this game that I couldn't quite fit anywhere else, but makes me super excited to check out the rest of the series, is the usage of mythology. Mythology is sick as fuck. But what really got me hooked, is how EVERY sort of mythology was used. You got your classic Greek and Egyptian. You have plenty of Japanese Yokai, but then you also have gods and monsters from like... things that people still actively worship??? From religions that are in my head as "religion" and not "mythology". Seeing angels and demons from Abrahamic religions, Hinduism, Buddhism, and even seeing some old Zoroastrianism in there? Also like, to bring it back to the start, using mythical creatures from everywhere! I saw European monsters, Celtic creatures, American cryptids, the whole thing was so cool! This alone is a huge part of what made me addicted to this game. I wanted to keep seeing just where they would pull inspiration from, and I was constantly surprised and overjoyed, reading the backgrounds for everything, and going to look up where some of them came from, trying to guess what else would be next. I genuinely cannot wait to play more Persona and later Shin Megami Tensei to get more of this kind of stuff, but also I think I need to take a break so I don't get burned out hahaha
I loved my time playing this game. I can see why it's so loved. Sure, there were a couple things that I wish hit my heart or I connected to a little more, but overall I am very satisfied with my experience.
9.7/10. Great characters, great concept, amazing style and super cool inspiration. Some things just needed a little extra to really hit home for me for a perfect 10, but still an experience that will stick with me.
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Can We Stop, Time?
Surprise!! I had @tippydoorman for the writing portion of the Oc Secret Summer. Here it is, some 3k words of out-of-control rambling on their oc Mel and some of his relationships, both romantic and platonic. Hopefully, I got it all in character because I’ll tell you this, I have never written for someone else’s character before and that made me so nervous.
Also, literally, don’t ever apologize for giving your oc “bad taste in men.” I can’t protest when I know my oc Calem’s mom would, unfortunately, date Acronix if given the opportunity.
(Side note: I have not posted this on AO3 yet. If you would like me to, let me know. Or, if you want to post it on AO3 yourself, you’re free to do so. I give you full permission.)
Krux’s heart made the executive decision to be a menace on an average workday at exactly 9:47 AM. Such feelings didn’t reveal their name to him—nor would they for a long time, curse it all. But to the best of his recollection, it started out like this:
It was a bright and beautiful morning. The usual amount of energy flowed through the museum. There were earnest tourists and far more earnest tour guides—people trickling in to marvel at the exhibits the same as they always had for as long as anyone could remember. Then there was Krux, struggling to hide his disdain for the inanity of it all, even when secluded away in the confines of his office. Though such a place allowed for him to peacefully catch up on his paperwork—or stew in his indignation despite his refusal to admit it—he couldn’t help but swear out the circumstances that had put him there.
Perhaps, if he had his usual morning coffee, he might be less grumpy. But as the world stood with its overcrowded coffee shops and slow-moving lines, Krux had to openly express his unhappiness. He had to.
“Excuse me, Dr. Saunders?”
“What is it, Dwayne?” Krux growled out. He eyed the museum’s new young intern with no small amount of irritation. “I’m busy.”
“There’s someone here to see you, sir.”
“See me?” Krux tried not to sound surprised, even as he pitched his voice into his Dr. Saunders demeanor. He turned his head toward the calendar and adjoining clock. He had no appointments today and it was too soon for the Time Vortex to spit his brother out—not that he would ever forget when that was supposed to be. That left no one that Krux knew to expect. “Who could possibly be here to see me?”
“Just someone to bring you coffee. I heard through the grapevine you weren’t able to get any today.”
Krux felt all the air in his lungs empty at the sound of Mel’s voice and again at the sight of him standing in the doorway. It felt like every time Krux saw Mel, he forgot how handsome he was—thick locks of silver-streaked hair, warm and dark eyes, and a perfectly square jawline. Krux felt his heart beat a little faster at the sight. The sound of the ticking clock passed through the office as he took it in, and then:
“You can go, Dwayne,” Krux said with a cough. The intern scurried off like no tomorrow. “What are you doing here, Mel?”
“Visiting you,” Mel replied as he handed Krux the coffee.
“I’m quite busy today, you know.” Krux leaned back in his chair. “I’m working.”
“And that means I can’t visit you?”
It was only by the grace of the five tortoise deities that Krux managed to cover his grimace with his coffee cup. Alright fine, he conceded. He did give Mel permission to visit him at work whenever he wanted. Just as a sign of goodwill after Mel repeatedly kept the bar open for him alone after all the long nights spent hunched over the copious amounts of museum work he’d picked up. And to, of course, honor their newly formed relationship.
“Alright, alright.” Krux waved his hand noncommittally. “But you do know I can’t entertain you. It’s going to be quite boring.”
“Fine by me,” Mel replied. “So long as I can be here with you.”
A soft, fluffy flower bloomed in Krux’s chest at the sweetness of the statement. He almost wanted to gag at how lovely it sounded. Almost. He didn’t because he refused to risk hurting Mel’s feelings. But it was a near thing. And though he'd never admit it, not even absentmindedly between the scratching of his pencil against the parchment, he appreciated the sentiment.
“What are you working on?” Mel asked after some time had passed.
Krux tapped his pen against the paper as if bidding Mel take a peek.
“The Ancient Stone Samurai Warrior?”
“It's approximately twenty-seven feet tall including the ornamental horns," Krux stated smugly. "We had one of our senior archeologists uncover it after a sinkhole formed in the west wing. We’re now converting it to display the Bottomless Sinkhole."
"You've been busy," Mel surmised. He looked suitably impressed by the stacks of documents logging everything about the warrior, even down to the minutest details. "Do you ever get a break from all of this?"
Krux could have deflated at that question. He would have deflated, actually, if he had even an ounce less of pride. But he'd long since concluded that he loved his work too much to take the breaks he knew he'd earned. And beyond that, he didn't think he could risk stepping away from the museum for too long, not unless it was to sleep. He currently had hundreds if not thousands of genetically mutated Devourer eggs incubating beneath the museum, not to mention he had to stay wary of Ray and Maya, lest they cause problems while he wasn't looking.
"I think you know the answer to that."
"Not even a lunch break?"
"I am administered an hour lunch break in the afternoon, though, I don't often use it."
"Care to use it today?"
Krux blanked. He... what... huh? He found himself staring at Mel for far too long than what was socially acceptable. Had he known how ridiculous he looked, with his mouth dropped open and his coffee cup tipping so far over it could have spilled into his lap, he would have righted himself at once.
"You... are you asking me out?" Krux asked. He then clarified. "On a date?"
"I am," Mel confirmed.
Krux again glimpsed up at the clock and calendar. He shouldn't leave, he couldn't leave, not with the remaining slog of bookkeeping right before him, or his soon-to-hatch Vermillion warriors, or his captive blacksmiths. His twin's return would be upon him soon. And his employees? He bit back a groan of the utmost despair. He didn't dare imagine the kind of heckling some of his employees would give him if he took up the offer. Misako, especially—she could be a nuisance when she so desired.
But catching the genuine expression of hope Mel wore, looking into his eyes, tracing the curve of his cheek? He couldn't imagine how nice that would be. How long would it be if he escaped his obligations? An hour. Surely, if he slept eight hours a night and nothing went wrong then, it couldn't dissolve into chaos within an hour, right?
Right.
Krux was meticulous with time. He could be in and out of somewhere within the second. He had obtained a pocket watch years ago for that very purpose. He didn't doubt his abilities.
"Alright," Krux started. He struggled to ignore the joyful smile that opened out across Mel's face. "I suppose I could take a break."
"Then I'll see you this afternoon?"
"Oh... why not?"
***
The park Mel liked to frequent was a serviceable place—at least, that’s how Krux saw it. About an acre of flourishing, well-kept land stretched out across the east end of Ninjago City. Its paved pathway wove through a scattering of pink-blossomed trees, the occasional wooden bench standing beneath a patch of shade away from the sun.
Mel greeted him with a warm smile that sent a wave of warmth rolling through Krux. Thankfully, he had the sense to ignore the butterflies in his stomach causing that warmth, even as he and Mel walked side by side. Therein a moment occurred when Krux felt Mel's fingers brush against his hand and he pulled away.
"Sorry." Krux proffered an uneasy statement. "I'm not very..."
Mel understood right away and said nothing more about the subject. Krux supposed that was all he could ask for. Even in the midst of Krux's awkwardness, Mel found a way to start a conversation—a skill he'd honed to mastery after running for his bar for so many years. Krux admired it and even took some contentedness in the fact that it could prompt the flow of a story about challenging the other kids for rights to the first slice of honeycomb cake from their village's bakery. It had sadly ended in Acronix climbing—and falling from—the flagpole in the town center, dropping their favorite dessert into the mud after Krux dared him to try throwing it at him.
The village kids didn't talk to them for a month after the incident.
“I didn’t take you for someone who played games, Sander," Mel told him once the story had finished. "Nor an antagonist."
"I don't usually," Krux admitted. "But I can be persuaded into it when I'm around the right people."
"And what constitutes right people?" Mel asked.
Krux huffed out a laugh as he strayed off the path and into the welcoming arms of the cherry blossom trees. "What's with that kind of question? Are you trying to find out?"
He didn't quite hear what Mel had said in response as he slid around the base of a particularly thick tree, latched onto the lowest branch, and pulled himself up with barely any resistance.
"-though I'm beginning to see that I don't know that much about you. Do I, Sander?" Mel rounded the tree. All too quickly, his expression faded from half-entertained to bemused beyond reason. “Sander?”
His brows furrowed low, his gaze slipped from one end of the park to the other in search of his partner. To Mel it had seemed like he had just vanished into thin air.
Krux balanced carefully on the sturdiest limb, watching all of this with a wave of quiet levity. He didn’t usually preen or engage in pranks like this—no, such things fell more into Acronix’s territory. But Krux would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy watching Mel’s head swivel around like a rolling chair. Krux let this persist for a few minutes, not too long to drive Mel out of the park but long enough that he could see Mel growing frustrated with the antics.
“Okay, Sander, you got me. Very funny.”
Krux grinned at that and decided to do something he knew he shouldn’t. With a silence that would rival a ninja, he stretched down, slow and measured until his fingers grazed the edge of Mel’s shirt…
…then hauled his partner into the tree.
“Sander!” Mel scrambled for purchase like a half-frenzied cat on a curtain, shoes scraping against the branches. Krux tried not to chuckle at the sight. Instead, he leaned over—his head nearly reaching his heels—to offer Mel his arm. “I am not a young man anymore!” Mel said, grabbing onto Krux’s arm. “This is too much adventure for me.”
“Relax, will you?” Krux replied.
“One of us is gonna fall and end up in the hospital,” Mel continued, though much less panicked now that Krux had pulled them both to safety.
“I wouldn’t let that happen.”
There was a matter-of-fact confidence to Krux’s voice that he so rarely used nowadays. So few times had he ever dropped his jolly Dr. Sander Saunders facade, Krux realized only Mel must know what he genuinely sounded like. He figured he’d have to tie those loose ends at a later date, especially when Acronix returned. But for now, he figured it’d be okay to let a little of his true self slip out.
“Even so, I’d feel more comfortable on the ground.”
Krux carefully hid the eye-roll he saved for the occasional times he’d lower his guard. With something a little more graceful than the average person, he swept Mel into his arms and dropped down from the tree. There was a yelp, branches shaking, and Krux landing on the trimmed grass at a near-thunderous volume. As he stood up again, he noticed the halo of soft, pink petals showering down and the sunlight catching on the world around him in a way that made Mel’s face glow. And his eyes?
Oh, his eyes. They were sparkling, staring right at Krux.
“Were you always this strong?” Mel asked after a while.
“I’d like to think so."
Krux didn't hesitate even a millisecond longer. Gently yet swiftly he set Mel back down on the ground, where he let out a sigh of pure relief. Hand on his chest, Mel glanced at Krux with the slightest amount of disapproval.
"Please, do not ever do that again," he wheezed.
"As long as you say so."
Krux slowly meandered back toward the pathway, twirling his pocket watch into his hand as he often did while walking anywhere. He could more feel rather than see Mel's stare boring into his back. He wondered briefly if Mel was simmering in irritation behind him, allowing for the presence of several future scenarios that he didn't want to consider for too long. He reached his hand back to hold it before Mel, who looked first at it and then at Krux in deep puzzlement.
"What are you...?"
Krux actually rolled his eyes this time. "Did you want to hold my hand?"
"I thought you weren't-"
"I'm not," Krux cut him off. "Consider it my apology."
Mel broke out in a sunny smile and happily held hands with Krux. They didn't say anything else for the rest of Krux's break—Krux didn't think they needed to. They'd found a comfortable silence together.
***
A Few Years Later
Mel’s heart had made the executive decision to be a menace a long time ago. He knew the names of his emotions—things like love and affection—and he knew he always risked having them for those who’d never reciprocate them. He’d like to think that made him more reasonable than most people, more understanding of people. Gentle and safe against the rest of the world scraping against the softness of every soul.
‘It comes in handy,’ he thought, especially when in regards to Dareth spilling into the bar with the friends he’d been begging Mel to meet for ages. Mel admitted he’d had his reservations about it, but he trusted Dareth and his judgment, and he was soon to find that trust hadn’t been misplaced.
Six brightly colored rainbow ninja staggered to their feet after having basically run each other over trying to get into the building first. They exchanged jabs and laughter like it was second nature to their very beings—the red one half-viciously kicked the blue one back down after a particularly snarky insult. Mel carefully eyed some of the rounder-faced ones, knowing he wouldn’t serve them any alcohol. All the same, he welcomed them into his bar.
“Mel!” Dareth said, a cheery smile opening out across his face. He gestured hastily to the man in front of him. “Guys, this is Mel. Mel, I’d formally like you to meet-“
“The ninja,” Mel finished. Already, he could feel a fond smile pulling at his lips.
“Ah, so you’ve heard of me.” Kai thrust out a hand in Mel’s direction. “Master of Fire? Insanely handsome?”
“More like insanely full of it,” Jay seethed. He had popped up from the ground at a speed near untraceable to Mel’s eyes. Before anyone could utter another word, Jay tackled Kai to the ground, and the rest collapsed into chaos. There followed a good amount of kicking and screaming the likes Mel hadn’t seen in awhile. Certainly it was a sight to behold.
Dareth winced as the rowdiness rose beyond an acceptable level. “Okay, guys? Can we tone it down a little? Uh, Lloyd, can you…?”
A rigid blur of green went marching into the fray. In one swift movement, they yanked Kai and Jay apart and started to whisper something to them in a very low, very angry voice. Judging by the expressions of terror that went out across Kai’s and Jay’s faces, it seemed Lloyd had nothing kind to hand them. A genuine surprise as Lloyd had one of the younger, fresher faces among the team to imply a more peaceful and reserved nature.
“Our apologies for the ruckus, Mel,” Zane said. His movements were somehow quick and slow at the same time, smooth and unerring, and unnervingly quiet. But when Mel shook his hand, he knew that Zane was the same as the other ninja. “It’s an honor to meet someone that Dareth holds in such high esteem.”
“And thank you for having us,” Nya added.
“Of course,” Mel replied, grasping Nya’s hand in a warm handshake. “Any friend of Dareth’s is always welcome here.” He motioned to the bar with a single, calm hand. “Go ahead and take a seat, I’ll get you all some water. Or a lemonade if that’s what you prefer. I’m sure Dareth would love to tell you about how I ended up mentoring him.”
Dareth let out a surprised chuckle at the sound of that.
“Mentor, huh?” Cole inquired. His exhausted demeanor slipped away, leaving a calm, seeping hope in its wake. “It’s really, really nice to meet you. We just lost our own mentor so… it would be really nice to hear about that.”
As Dareth slowly spun the beginnings of the story, Mel caught Lloyd gazing intently at the group, their eyes full of a growing forest of interest and hope. He still had the scruffs of Kai’s and Jay’s gi caught in a death grip but it didn’t appear as though it were going to last because Jay had laser focused in on something else across the room.
“IS THAT A KARAOKE MACHINE?!”
Jay up and blitzed past the group quicker than a flash of his element and slid on his knees to the base of a dusty, faded old jukebox. In its prime, it had been the main attraction of the bar, lighting up the entire space more than any of the other lighting systems that bedecked the ceiling and walls—it had rocked and wheeled about as more than one person’s dance partner. Mel hadn’t the heart to get rid of it after the damage it sustained several years back, so he kept it as a memorial.
“Er, well, yes,” Mel said, his hand finding the back of his neck. “But it’s old. And broken. I haven’t gotten it to work in ages.”
“Oh, pish posh.” Jay waved him off. “Give me five minutes, I’ll have this baby working like brand new when I’m done.”
Dareth turned in his chair a little bit and gestured hesitantly. “Uh, Jay, I don’t know if that’s…”
“No, no, it’s okay,” Mel assured them. He leaned forward on the bar top and squinted a little bit to get a better view of Jay gutting the machine with such practiced, ingrained skill. Mel had to wonder how old Jay was when he’d first picked up a wrench. “Give it a shot, I don’t think you could break it more it already has been.”
“Don’t underestimate him,” Kai whispered under his breath.
Jay’s head snapped up from the other side of the room.
“I heard that!”
Somehow there was already grease on his face. Did jukeboxes produce grease? Nya didn’t seem to think so as she’d shoved her way off the barstool and jogged over to go observe the work. She must have mumbled something coy to him because his face lit up bright red as he let out a boisterous laugh. Not long after, the others’ curiosity grew to get the better of them and they slipped over to crowd around Jay, leaning on each other as they did so.
Mel couldn’t help but chuckle at the cheerful authenticity of their behavior.
“By the way, where’s Sander?” Dareth asked. “He usually comes here after work, doesn’t he?”
Mel glanced up at the question, his mind suddenly refocusing.
“I’m not sure,” he replied. “I did tell him I’d be leaving the bar open later than usual for some extra company, so he might have chosen to go home for the night. He’s not the social type.”
“Oh, boy.” Dareth dragged his hands down his face and onto the counter. “You sure know how to pick the prickly ones.”
“Hey,” Mel warned him with a playful tone. “You’re the last person in Ninjago who should be giving me dating advice.”
“Oh, right, sure-“
A staticky guitar riff tore through the air, followed shortly by the ninja’s conjoined screams of joy as they cajoled the karaoke machine to life. If there were ever noises more profane than these one right now, Mel was certain he’d forgotten what they sounded like. It seemed the meaning of being ninja had slipped their minds.
“MONDAY MORNING AND WE’RE GETTING STARTED. IT’S ON YOU KNOW.”
…or maybe they didn’t even know what being a ninja meant in the first place. Still, it didn’t escape Mel how innocently joyful and lively they sounded. It reminded him of the bright future and all the good things he was certain were to come with it. A better time lead by brave souls and glittering faces—flying vibrant colors that declared their allegiance with shameless, reckless abandon. It gave life to a warm and hopeful garden that Mel had hoped he would feel again soon.
“They’re good kids, Mel,” Dareth told him.
Mel offered Dareth a wise and content smile. “So, I’ve seen,” He said. He placed a hand on Dareth’s shoulder. “I’m happy for you, Dareth. Truly.”
The smile Dareth gave him in return just about lit up the entire city.
#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjagoocsecretsummer2023#Ninjago oc#ninjago original character#ninjago krux#Ninjago dareth#hails’ writing#Firefox just about gave up on me when I was trying to post this the first time so let me pray it works this time 🙏
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Spruce not reading honey and tangerines made me remember i got like halfway through before losing all my ao3 tabs and never finishing it 😭 i’ll have to go back and find where i was soon
Also one of my only thoughts after burning gold was literally just “wow tallulah covering her eyes for moat of the fic? She really is just like her father”
Also also WF WF WF MY BELOVED clinic and stars will always have a special place in my heart but sbi’s fight after wilbur said he knew why tommy left at the syndicate meeting will always have a special place in my heart, i re-read it sometimes just for fun
Every once in a while i’ll also remember i was here when the last few chapters of clinic weren’t out yet and then i’ll feel old
I vividly remember checking if clinic had updated, it had, and it was the chapter where puffy came and visited tommy and brought him cinnamon rolls and revealed she was a former-hero
And then i remember being here for all of wf, and reading stars when it only had one chapter and then forgetting about it until it was finished 😭
I can picture so clearly in my head checking wf one day at dinner, i had only read the first chapter a while back and hadn’t kept up, there was now five chapters and i was so excited. I was eating tacos. I kept up with wf updates after that
Sorry for the ramble, everyone’s recent asks have reminded me of a lot of things lmao, still debating if i should re-read stars and i’m so very close to giving in
- 🪐
NOOOO I ACCIDENTALLY INCLUDED THE COVERING EYES BIT AGAIN THIS TIME WITH TALLULAH I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE why do I keep doing this
the fact that you reread that painful fight in wf for fun certainly says something /j (it was such a fun scene to write I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much)
damn you've been around for that long?? you're really an og saturn anon. I remember when I wrote that clinic chapter with puffy and tommy talking after he'd been kidnapped and that conversation ended up being so much longer than I meant it to be. I was so frustrated bc it meant I had to put off the crimeboys reconciliation convo by another chapter and I wanted to write that one so bad, but the puffy tommy convo was so good and flowed so well so I couldn't be too upset
looking back on when wf was updating feels a bit like a fever dream for me bc 1) I wrote most of it during the winter quarter of my senior year of college. we'd gone back to in person for fall quarter after a full year of online bc covid, but then winter had a surge of covid cases again so almost all my classes went BACK online but I had one optional in person class once a week. so I had a lot of free time to write and would spend entire days in a campus coffee shop writing wf 2) sirentwt happened while I was writing wf. that was certainly a Time
anyway i love that you remember you were eating tacos when you noticed wf had 5 chapters up now. I remember I kept trying new drinks at the coffee shop every day when I went there to write but none of it was very good but it was a student run place that had really nice vibes so I became a regular anyway
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