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#like the gender stuff is weird but it's what I would expect of the era
emblazonet · 10 months
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Dragonflight
I read that beat up old copy of Dragonflight, a book published 55 years ago, and I truly enjoyed it. Spoilers for an old book follow, so be warned.
Like yeah there's a real 'not like other girls' vibe going on, somewhat mitigated at the beginning by Lessa feeling shame over how she misjudged Gemma, and then made worse by whatever the fuck is going on with that Kylara character. She's never on screen but everyone hates her because she's promiscuous or something? Dunno what's up with that. So like, yeah, gender stuff's weird, but also Pern's entire politics and economy rotate around telepathic dragons and evil spores, so, you know, it's a wacky fantasy. Whatever.
So many people, on telling them I found some battered Pern books in a Little Free Library, warned me that there's Bad Sex in these books, watch out! Well, I've read exactly one (1) Pern book, and I loved whatever the hell was happening. The dragons get horny so now their telepathic humans are horny? So now the two main characters who can't stand each other are fucking because telepathy? UH YES SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. I am so fucking here for this batshit scenario. It's not hatesex but it borders it. It's sex pollen by way of adorable dragons who fuck. I'm eating it up with a spoon. Now, sure, F'lar is like 'wtf I think I raped her' but in Lessa's pov she pretty much never dwells on it, so I think McCaffrey's actual intent was to give you the impression that F'lar is overreacting a bit because he has Feelings he won't admit, and while he's a smug jerk but he's not that bad, he's worried. You could if you want read this as textual rape? But I don't. I view this as Lessa being a practical and unlikeable bitch(affectionate) of a character, for whom sex is just not high on her priority list. She certainly wants to bang him later on. And because it wasn't a standard romance and the focus wasn't really on their courtship but rather the silly time travel plot, I actually enjoyed Lessa and F'lar as a couple. If I knew them IRL, I'd probably want to smack them, they're horribly emotionally stunted. But I got really invested in their slow reluctant growing respect for each other. Honestly so far Pern has the energy of a child making up a giant war for their toys, and incidentally smacking whatever figures they're using for their protagonists together and going, 'haha, they're kissing!'. Also, dragons. 9/10 can't wait to read more.
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Hello!!! I don’t normally request stuff so idk how to format this, but could you please do like hcs on what it would be like dating Velvette & Rosie (separately) and preferably as a girl?
Not forcing but tysm if you do!!!
a/n: not really gender but written with fem reader in mind
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-Very sweet and old timey cartoon-eqsue (but like the cute ones)
-slow dancing, big bouquets, maybe even some love letters. Which is still a thing people do but when at least one of you is wereing a Victorian-era dress it carries a different meaning.
-if you're also a cannibal here then expect to be chilling when she comes in with a dead person like "Hey honey I decided to get lunch!"
-If you're not a cannibal She'll do her best to make non-human-meat good.
-which might be hard cause you live in cannibal colony but y'know.
-values communication tremendously.
-likes to buy you clothes. Mainly dresses in the same style as hers. If dresses ain't your thing she's happy to get suits instead. If you don't like formal wear well fuck.
-Overall very sweet and lovey-dovey, great women to date if you ignore the cannibalism
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fashion icons.
-about media posts and making fun of the vees
-Posts a lot about you. To be fair she does that with everyone she has any form of relationship with (whether it's positive or negative.) It's like a ride of passage to show you made an impact on her.
-Brags about you to Vox and Valentino
-Her partner has to be the best of the best so there isn't any reason not to.
-She also does it to make fun of Vox with his weird Alastor obsession.
-GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP
-On both sides.
-Like you could have the most boring life yet she wants to hear about it.
Listen it may have just been petty work drama but she's ready to square up with random middle-aged women for you.
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incarnateirony · 1 year
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The censorship of Persona 4 has always been a fascinating topic to me.
Not only the whole "deleted queer romance dating paths with full dual language audio on disc still" part, which is over discussed.
But the margin writing. In 2007, the amount of queerness achieved seemed impressive, but SMT had intended more, far more. Kanji needed a "maybe it wasn't about gender but fear of rejection" buffer despite the gay hot tub and split queer self weilding gender signs.
And Naoto?
Boy, Naoto got taken for a ride.
Naoto was first designed as a cis boy, and yes, Kanji x Naoto, and Kanji's bisexual panic. However, the transing and detransing of Naoto began all at once. After all, it can't be censored as gay if ~he's actually a ~she, right? Nevermind maintaining masc presentation and shit but okay it's 2007, we get it. No need for the body alteration procedure with the shadow WE GOT IT OK.
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But then like, Golden and later content came out. And while I love me some Chad Yu, I'm less fond of the direction with naoto.
Every fandom in the history of ever has some self interested douchebag that literally refuses to let people debate things like queer cultural limits by era, design intent and changes, it's just What They Can Argue In Hard Canon, rather than What People Might Appreciate In Context Of The Show Paradigm.
So like, that kind of arguing already happened but everything that came in the reboot CLEARLY came with a new command from ATLUS international to Girl Up Naoto. Tittydance butch queen was apparently more marketable than dorky lil trans guy in the sidebar, so all the new content added eyelashes, changed Naoto's face shape subtly, shoved them in naked positions and bathtub scenarios and things they were clearly uncomfortable as hell in, and just left me sitting there squirming.
Even before I had unpacked my own trans shit it made me INTENSELY uncomfortable because NAOTO, regardless of what pronoun or gender you see on them, was intensely uncomfortable and nobody around them cared. And then the animation changed for the design change, and it just kept skewing further and further and further until by dancing spinoffs the character is barely recognizeable beyond color pallate.
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Like, I would never buckle down and really argue, "it is 100% hard text canon Naoto is trans and there is no other interpretation." But on the other hand, it's just as silly to argue it from the other absolute. Looking at the game history, a mix of intent, adjustment, barriers, dubs, translations, international marketing limits and whatever else completely recontextualizes the discussion in a way I don't think the average discourse really holds up to in meaningful lit crit, everyone's just yelling NUH UH at each other, as happens, in every fuckin' fandom.
Naoto, if anything, is more an interesting landmark historically IN queer and gender issues, with a flavor of Gold Star Attempt Totally Butchered Trans Stuff circa 200X. Was there stuff that is. Not. Great. Modernly? Yeah. All around. There's still lolgay jokes even in a game this gay, there's some dated elements all around, so it's just weird that this part of the debate is expected to be frozen in time and not discussed in the context of both the series and cultural evolution.
Anyway dems my thoughts.
(WHY DOES NAOTO HAVE A TITTYCUT BUST LIKE THIS IN THE DANCE GAME. THE GOLDEN OUTFIT ADDITION ON THE RIGHT WAS BAD ENOUGH)
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fanficsforfun · 10 months
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Not alone
Pairing: Indiana Jones x gender neutral reader
Era: 1960s (the Dial of Destiny)
Word count: 780
Warnings: none (well, except the age gap)
Summary: You’re feeling lonely and decide to see if Indy would want to talk with you
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You were all alone at home which at the moment didn't feel exactly great, and for some mysterious reason you got the idea to go and ring the doorbell of the old professor who lived on the same floor as you. You two had chatted pretty much every time you happened to be somewhere simultaneously, and you enjoyed his company. He was nice to talk with, witty and wise, and always willing to give you a moment of his time. Yet you had never sought his company like this before.
You didn't realize it was a bit weird thing to do until you rang his doorbell, but at that point you didn't dare back out. It would have been even weirder to run away (especially if you had been caught). So you stood where you were, trying to come up with something even relatively smart to say while waiting for him to come to the door. 
What you didn't expect was for him to show up in nothing but his underwear and a t-shirt.
“What?” Indy grumbled, sounding like the doorbell had woken him up. 
You couldn't get a word out of your mouth, but before you had even tried, he spoke again.
“Oh. Hi, kid. Sorry ‘bout my outfit”, his tone changed quite a bit after he realized who you were. “What is it?”
“Well… I-”, you started but then sighed and decided to be straight with him. “I’m gonna be honest here, I feel lonely and I was hoping we could… talk?”
“Sure, come in, take a seat”, Indy moved away from the door to let you in and gestured towards his living room. “Sorry ‘bout the mess.”
“No problem”, you replied, though his place was in a desperate need of cleaning. There were boxes of who knows what stuff laying all around, a few dirty dishes sitting on the living room table, and some laundry on the floor. You decided it was best not try to sit anywhere, and so you awkwardly stayed standing in the doorway.
Indy realized the problem, walked past you and quickly cleaned up the worst of the mess to make room for you on the couch, giving you an apologetic grin.
“No, seriously, I apologize for this. I wasn’t expecting anyone to come over. I’m usually not this messy.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it”, you smiled.
When the living room looked more or less tidy, Indy stopped in the middle of the room and stated: “I suppose I'd better find something decent to wear.” With that, he disappeared into his bedroom. While he was gone, you sat on the couch, and only a few moments later he came back with socks, pants and a blouse shirt on.
“Do you want coffee or tea or something?” He then asked.
“Tea would be nice, thank you”, you replied with a quick smile.
“Tea, right”, Indy said more to himself than to you and walked over to the small kitchen. You shifted on the couch so that you saw him going through the cabinets looking for tea bags and a clean mug. You leaned your head in your hands and watched him silently. You felt a little strange being in his home, but on the other hand, you felt much better already. 
A smile had risen on your lips without you even realizing it, and when Indy glanced at you, he couldn't help but smile too. It had been a long time since there had been younger people in the house, or anyone at all for that matter. He was happy to have you over.
After the tea was ready, Indy walked up to you with two mugs in his hands and handed one of them to you. You took it with a smile. Then he sat down in his armchair, his gaze meeting yours.
“So, it hasn't been the greatest day of your life, right?" Indy opened the conversation. 
“I’ve seen worse, but yeah”, you nodded, staring into your mug. “I guess I still am not used to living on my own, you know. It gets lonely from time to time.”
“Trust me, I know”, he replied softly.
Maybe it was something in his voice, or his essence, or who knows what, but you got carried in pouring out everything that was on your mind, even though you weren't usually so fond of talking about highly personal matters. Although the situation wasn't common for him either, Indy listened to you, and despite his comments being often short, they had a surprisingly positive effect on you. Rarely had you felt so heard and seen as you did now. And it was exactly what you had needed.
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majjiktricks · 6 months
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Kaz for the ask game? Every question. All of them.
oh dear this is probably gonna be long. some of these were hard…
1. Why do you like or dislike this character? i think mgsv was the second game i played (after mgrr) and i just. bro i fell in love with this guy almost immediately. hes depressed. hes full of rage. hes got sunglasses. hes even bisexual. more seriously, i think hes just really interesting. hes somehow one of the most reality-grounded characters (in a series with characters like ocelot and fucking. the pain/the rest of the cobras) while also being the guy who invented war-as-a-business and doritos. i find his story very compelling. child of war, doesnt feel he belongs in any of the places he could claim as home, so he fights to make a place for himself... oughghg... hes also veryyyy gender goals for me :3c
2. Favorite canon thing about this character? hes a NERD. he likes trains and hes a bit of a history buff, hes full of random facts (i know its mostly for game exposition reasons to tell the player, but i also like kaz just randomly knowing shit because its fun). in mg2 hes got all those fucking WEIRD tidbits to tell snake. like the spit thing. half the time i think hes making shit up to fuck with snake. but he does know things. i need fics and stuff to make him weirder.
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character? i dont think i really dislike any of the traits he displays in the games. yeah hes got flaws and hes an asshole and he commits warcrimes, but i think all of that is what makes him interesting. so rather than dislike something ABOUT him, i dislike what was done to him. its probably been beaten to death but im SO sad they killed him off in mgs1 and THEN decided to develop his character. like. cmon. they couldve done so much cool shit with him had he not been shelved so early in the series. or even- they bring back big boss TWICE. why cant anyone else come back 🥺 i love thinking about kaz being involved in the time around/between mgs1-4…
4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in? ngl i dont think about crossovers much. i dont like them.
5. What’s the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? koi no yokushiryoku. its a fucking ridiculous song but it also makes me very sad. also diamonds by sam smith. thats a bbkaz divorce song to me.
6. What’s something you have in common with this character? i recently found out that my light sensitivity is not the normal experience for everyone ✌️ so ive been wearing sunglasses a lot lol
7. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like? i think its so funny that he gets shipped with basically everyone. its so good. i love it ^_^
8. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise? thankfully i dont see it much but i really cant stand the type of people who simplify characters down into basic stereotypes just for shipping purposes. ive seen a few things of essentially a bishie kaz in art (not in fic, bc i run for the hills at the slightest whiff). like. babes. you dont need to have one really buff guy and one feminine cutesy one for you ship to be good. please… hes not helpless nor is he very thin or boyish or any of that. hes almost 6' tall and fucking jacked in pw? i also hate it when people completely write off characters for being morally grey or for doing bad things. again, thankfully this doesnt happen much in my circles because i think ive curated a sane group of mutuals who like metal gear, but for anyone else who thinks this way? babe you came to the warcrimes series and didnt expect there to be warcrimes? where you play as the VILLAIN for 3+ games? i think the bad stuff makes him more fun :3c
9. Could you be roommates with this character? depends? does he let me hit it? 😏
10. Could you be best friends with this character? i would like to think so… if i met college-era kaz i think i would want to be friends with him… if he went on to be a business major and not a guy chasing death and combat around the world, yeah probably.
11. Would you date this character? i personally dont understand dating lol. probably? but if we could also just be friends/fwb thats fine with me 😂
12. What’s a headcanon you have for this character? i like to think about the mundane things a lot… if i do something and it reminds me of The Character. for example i like the idea of kaz listening to city pop while hes cooking. its a very chill kind of music and its a genre hes likely familiar with if he kept up with anything in japan during the 70s-80s. i also think he would often smell like methol and camphor. tiger balm is very useful when it comes to pain, and he probably uses it a lot post-gz because hes the stubborn-ass type to deny medical treatment and assistance, insisting on doing everything for himself. (the same guy who got back to work after like. only a week spent recovering at mother base. and refuses advanced prosthetics that could help him…)
13. What’s an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot? 😎 for obvious reasons. its just silly <3
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character. we only ever see him in uniforms/bathing suits, but i think he would be a high fashion man. slick suits in unconventional colors, barely there but somehow tasteful club attire, very carefully accented, subtle pieces of expensive jewelry. this guy likes money, he knows how to spend it too.
15. What’s your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn’t matter if it’s canon or not.) vkaz <3
16. What’s your least favorite ship for this character? i think ive only seen it once? but. kaz/zero. why. tbf i think its mostly that i just dont like zero. at all. crusty.
17. What’s a ship for this character you don’t hate but it’s not your favorite that you’re fine with? i like pretty much all other kaz ships ive seen aside from ^^ i think i was originally neutral on ocelhira but at this point i have been swayed into liking that too :]
18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire? i find his relationship with solid snake really interesting. i wish we got to see more of it… he probably has very complex feelings about snake given their relationships to big boss and i just wanna dig my little claws in and inspect it bit by bit…
19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don’t like? once again the only one i can think of is kaz and zero. and its less that i dont like it than i dont understand it. i probably should go back and replay peacewalker/watch the secret phonecall thing again. theres probably just a little piece im missing to make it fit into my brain.
20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn’t matter? we dont actually see kaz and amanda interact that much but man i would love more of that. they dont seem to be interested in each other at all, in the romantic/sexual sense, which i would want to see explored more. kaz is used to being seen in that lens by women and i want amanda to beat him up a little bit for it. i think shes one of few moral and sensible people in the series and i think kaz could've learned a lot from her. amanda also shouldve gotten more screentime in general. i wish she and chico were in gz or tpp somehow </3
21. If you’re a fic writer and have written for this character, what’s your favorite thing to do when you’re writing for this character? What’s something you don’t like? i want to see him taken care of <3 i will have him taken care of :]
22. If you’re a fic reader, what’s something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don’t like? i havent read too many kaz-centric fics tbh but i LOVE it when people write about the 70s for him. or any of the missing time between games tbh. i love to see what people think he was up to at the time. i havent found any consistent throughlines that i dont like yet. usually if i dont like a fic i dont finish it lol.
23. Favorite picture of this character? the model swap with quiet. you know the one. pouty kissable lips mfer.
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but also so many others. theres so many good pics of him <3 this was just the first to come to mind ehehe
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them? actually, he reminds me a lot of one of my ocs LOL ive had an oc named maddox for something like 6 years now, who once i thought about it is very similar to kaz. hes got (one) fucked up eye, worked for a sketchy paramilitary agency, has a robot arm, is kind of a harlot, mellows out and settles down with his children later in life… theyre both involved with the leaders of said paramilitary agencies. they both train kids who were involved also with that same organization. maddox doesnt go and try to start his own military country LMAO but i do think the other similarities are really funny. like. no wonder i liked kaz immediately. i have a guy just like him living in my brain.
25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now? i had no context for who kaz was when i first met him in gz but i thought he was a funny little guy. and then when you rescue him in tpp i just wanted to take care of him…….. ngl i think that sentiment has remained, just now i am full of other feelings as well. i think if i ever get out of metal gear brain rot, kaz will be the character that sticks in my brain lonnnggg after.
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tiredmako · 1 year
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⭒ incoming!!! new fanfic tumblr acc!! this is me grabbing ur attention so read this pls!! ⭒
so im ngl im NOT a good writer and im writing on here mainly for practice... also to show appreciation to my favorite fandoms. i used to write on wattpad which was an... era, to say the least. anyways... ig ill introduce myself and then do my lil ol' fandom list and rules ykyk? also im writing this on mobile so if the formatting looks bad on pc then like. oopsie poopsie in my defense
ab me!
soooo hii im mako :)) i go by she/her pronouns and i rlly love things like gaming, comics, shopping, music, baking/cooking, and CATS! obviously mako isn't my real name even tho that'd be cool asl... but i think mako sharks are super cute so it works!! ok next i think i should do like. a fandoms i write for list and then rules? sounds right? right? also i just gotta get it out there that i LOVE the spacing on here!
fandoms!
im ngl im a huge nerd and love a LOTTTT of fandoms! obvi i won't write for every single one ever... butttt these are the ones i will write for! these will be updated and ill make a separate post announcing what fandoms i add/take off <3 also theres wayy to many characters in my fandoms to say who i will and wont write so just send in ur request and yk if i turn u down cuz i dont wanna write for that character oopsie sorry hon
dc comics
dead by daylight
invincible
marvel comics
overwatch
rules!
honestly these rules r gonna SUCK for some of yall and im sorry but im very specific ab what i will and wont write oopsie poopsie okay
no crack fics! im not funny and half the time i dont find crack fics funny. also have u ever seen a crack fic that aged well??
no smut!! digital footprint guys!!! ill write like, dirty jokes or wtvr cuz im stupid and immature but im not writing straight up p in v oiled up booty sex okay
no matchmaking, song figs, hcs, etc. i just dont find them fun to do...
no very overly specific requests!! im sorry babe but im not gonna write 'spiderman reacting to reader being a demon princess half fish goth' like ily but no!
no gender, race, sexuality specific requests. i want my writing to be inclusive for everyoneee!!! unless im writing sm for myself, imma use they/them prns and stuff like that etc etc yk??
no requests w no specifications! im sorry but im not going to know what to do when u say 'anything w ghostface pls :)' like it doesnt even have to be super detailed just like a little 'hi could u pls write ghostface teasing his shy bestfriend' I WOULD ACCEPT THAT AND WRITE THAT PLS YALL WORK W ME HERE
if ur gonna be rude and annoying then imma just ignore u... like i have things to do and i cant spend all my time on tumblr writing things for free sorry i heart yall tho
on the topic of that be patient!! i have things to do and places to be
if ur homophobic, transphobic, a terf, or anything weird or gross just leave in advance i dont want u here bye bye
i dont feel comfortable writing ab stuff like suicide, self harm, etc. mental health is scary and i would NOT portray it right mb oopsie
when i get a few works up, ill start a masterlist!! also this is prob just going to be a writing acc cuz i have a diff/main acc so dont expect any like. reposts, follow backs, or likes from this acc cuz im probly nottt gonna be scrolling on here just writing. heart u guys pls send requests im sooo bored
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adelle-ein · 1 year
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fe engage trailer/promo thoughts
i'm moving all my stuff over here instead of twitter bc today has reaffirmed to me that i wanna get the hell off of there. so now you get to see my game thoughts on here yayyyy isn't that exciting
anyway
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the girl <3 kinda surprised that alm and celica aren't sharing a ring if she and ephraim are? maybe bc they wanted to make celica a magic-based ring and that doesn't suit alm? but then again why not have chrom and lucina share? strangeness all around, maybe it was gonna be an exclusive concept for the twins and then they decided to keep using it for dlc
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overall i feel like micaiah is working this look the best. where are ike's muscles. they stole them. the poor man is sickly now
also rosado's design has been one of my favorites and if it turns out their relatively practical armor is due to being a "feminine dude" character then i would not be surprised. rn seems like it's a tossup what their gender is so let's hope whatever it is it's at least done reasonably respectfully. forrest wasn't bad after all. and zelkov brings a return of the fates/awakening era Dark Gray Skin which is a shame. at least the rest of the darker skinned characters look okay
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citrinne is definitely the maribelle/l'arachel/constance style character...hopefully she's good. some of the other characters revealed in this bunch also look more up my alley personality/design wise than the initial batches (although citrinne's sleeves are. a sin) so that's something. though in general the designs are...whack tbh
also there are so many cravats in the male character designs?? what is up with that
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we finally got to see more of the style savvy dress up mechanics and i'm really glad that maybe i can switch off some of the worst outfits, especially the alears. seriously every alt outfit looks better than what the defaults have going on haha
but while overall i'm not really interested in most gimmicky side stuff a la fates and 3hopes, i do really like accessories and dressup options so happy for those. if i have to do a few rhythm games to get them then that's a fair tradeoff....
overall i'm surprised by the amount of really "modern" looking touches. lamps, glasses, sweatpants...fates had a couple accessories like that but nothing quite on this scale? i wonder if that's just lousy art/design direction or a deliberate choice for some plot reason?
anyway these are my favorites revealed so far although ofc will have to get to know characters in game to really know
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i think this game could still be really fun, and i'm glad it doesn't seem to be aiming for "oooh what side will you pick" like fates and 3h (technically echoes was in there but overall i'm like...give us a break from the big route splits please). also less politics and drama than 3h which is welcome, i never expect a good story from FE and often when they try to do a "good" story it uh...doesn't land. it's just a shame that i really don't care for the art direction at all, the sameface and the oufits and the overall weirdness of it all :(
also they should add tms rings
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okay I gotta get something off my chest about Eridan's pesterquest route cuz I never see anyone get annoyed about it and it drives me nuts. y'know how he talks about liking wearing feminine clothing and talks about gender identity stuff? it's been forever since I've revisited this, but basically, I thought it was super weird the first time I played that route cuz it kind of like... mischaracterizes Alternian society?
like, hear me out cuz this shit gets a little odd. first of all, gender arguably meant very little to the trolls in terms of social restrictions or roles and expectations, and I think that's because of the broader theme of the trolls having different issues than the humans. see, it was always sort of a part joke, part worldbuilding, part social commentary sort of thing, that some things that were a big deal to humans weren't a big deal to trolls, and vise versa. for example, sexuality is basically a non-existent issue for trolls, and due to the way reproduction and genetic diversity works in their species, it's basically impossible for them to care about incest as we know it, and gender doesn't seem to matter as much to them socially when it comes to dating. meanwhile, the humans don't understand anything about the hemospectrum, and the complicated web of issues faced by those lower or higher on that spectrum. we see everyone struggle with their position, from Feferi putting in the work of staving off genocide by keeping her lusus fed, to Equius's trouble reconciling his natural inclination to behave subserviently with his class's expectation that he subjugate those lower on the spectrum, to Vriska's own struggle to survive by ruthless means... high bloods don't necessarily have things easier. but those lower on the hemospectrum are subjected to a lot of cruel systemic threats, which are often the direct result of the expectations that high bloods face. it's all pretty complicated, and the human kids are at a total loss... they have no clue about any of this.
so with that being the case... the things that Eridan was saying about his gender identity just seemed like they were issues imported from human society, rather than issues that would actually manifest that way on Alternia. on Alternia, it's doubtful that anyone would give a shit about gender identity, to the point where I doubt there'd really be much discussion around it. Alternia is kind of a rude and ornery place by nature... part of the joke is that Altenians may be literal aliens called trolls, but their society also produces a population of rude and ornery people that communicate primarily online... making them also internet trolls in the expected sense. therefore, if they find something that they can pick on you for, they will do it. Vriska clearly displays that this is a no-holds-barred kind of bullying, when she harasses Tavros for having a disability that she caused... and that makes cultural sense because Alternia has such a heavy focus on resilience, and physical strength. they're very survival oriented, so making fun of someone for a perceived physical flaw is very in character, no matter how horrible it is. but nobody makes fun of anyone over, say, sexuality. because it is literally unremarkable, and it would not get under anyone's skin to mention it. it's not even out of benevolence that nobody touches that topic... it's literally not on anyone's radar, because it doesn't matter. and I think gender identity is the same way. the only mention of gender I even remember from the trolls in homestuck, was Karkat telling Tavros that he should stop playing games that are for girls... but what Karkat meant was "stop playing games where you're likely to get murdered" because the girls he was talking about were TEREZI AND VRISKA. the game is called FATAL live action role playing, and Vriska explicitly uses the game to KILL PEOPLE. and that's literally the only thing I can remember about the trolls mentioning gender amongst each other. outside of that, it seemed similarly off of their radar, and a lot of the troll girls are so excellent as characters because they aren't subject to the narrative making them adhere to human "girl expectations".
and all of this makes it a lot more transparent that what the writing in Eridan's pesterquest route was really trying to do, was retcon the whole "March Eridan" meme of old, into something more progressive than it actually was. originally, the joke was just "boy in awkward looking drag = funny joke" and/or people finding it hot, which is like... standard fare for that era of fandom, but your mileage may vary on how irritating you find it. they could've just left that whole thing in the past, or just mentioned that he had the outfit in his wardrobe as a cheeky little wink/nudge to people who know what it's getting at... but no. they had to have him go on some lengthy monologue about gender identity, which Eridan in actual homestuck probably wouldn't have thought about for 2 seconds... and then they follow it up with the whole Sollux conflict?!??!!!
I'm sorry, Eridan barely knew Sollux existed and probably would never have given him the time of day before he got involved with Feferi. and Sollux and Feferi similarly had absolutely nothing to do with each other until he saved her as they were entering the medium. he literally died for her, but prior to that, I'm pretty sure they didn't know each other at all. and, and, AND. Sollux mainly needed Feferi as a rebound to help him fill the void left behind when he lost Aradia! Aradia has not died in pesterquest! Sollux has a bit of a thing for girls with chipper demeanors who act as a counterbalance to his negative outlook. but tbh, Aradia is a better fit for him because she acknowledges macabre and depressing things, but doesn't let it get her down. Sollux's troubles are acknowledged with a genuinely warm response, rather than glossed over with a coat of sunny optimism. Feferi tries to help Sollux, but it isn't perfect... and then Eridan crashes into the middle of it all expecting even more wild shit from Feferi, who honestly just can't catch a break.
so basically, if Aradia hasn't died, then Sollux has no reason to be interested in Feferi. and if Sollux isn't interested in Feferi, then Eridan has no reason to give a shit about Sollux. and when you add that to the gender thing... Eridan's whole route totally unravels. I'm not saying I don't support the idea of Eridan being GNC or trans in some way... I'm saying he probably doesn't have an oppression narrative because of it on Alternia. the whole point of the difference between Alternia and Earth standards, is to lampoon the importance of both of their issues, by showing a contrasting society that just doesn't have the hangups that the other side considers to be SO fundamental and SO important. it's like whoever wrote that route didn't understand this at all.
OOOO THIS WAS A VERY INTERESTING READ
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variousqueerthings · 3 years
Text
some thoughts on queerness in narrative (using cobra kai as a main point)
1. intro
It’s interesting getting to engage with pop culture right now versus even five years ago, where there was something kinda sordid and undercover about queer reads of text and even just talking about being into stuff very passionately while being queer in spaces that included creators was considered somehow icky (supernatural is always a good example, but definitely was just the most visible of these types of interactions between fans and cast/creators). Obviously that’s where a lot of modern definitions about queerbaiting and bury your gays comes from.
A lot of this kind of drama centred on queer ships rather than queer characters in their own right (dean/castiel, merlin/arthur, derek/styles and maaaan just a lot of white brunette/blond pairings, which is another post and I acknowledge that Lawrusso is also literally that... the irony)
But also this isn’t so much about “shipping.”
2.
There’s a danger of flattening out the ways in which we create a dialogue with text when it becomes just about whether or not our ships become canon (in general the way fandom discourse revolves around ships can be incredibly unhelpful for engaging critically with text) – for context I am queer and I’m queer through my transness and aromanticness and asexuality, and I also write a fair bit of shippy fanfiction and analysis, but personally am not (always) thaaat bothered about how the connections with queer-coded people are realised in text, as long as those connections are acknowledged in a queer way. How that works varies from text to text.  There is no one-size fits all proper queer representation.
An example: SE Hinton (because I just read The Outsiders/watched the movie) being really dismissive of people reading her characters as gay on twitter (why do we ever try to do this sort of deep textual analysis on twitter, why do creators – like Hinton – think that they ought to espouse opinions on twitter, why twitter folx?)
I wrote – kinda for the void, because I write a lot and I like posting some of that on tumblr, but I don’t expect people to engage necessarily – about how The Outsiders is absolutely a queer text, whether or not the creator intended for it to be. Long story short, queerness has been – and often still is – illegal and/or frowned upon in canon text, so a semiotics was created to make something queer if you knew how to read it. The fact that cis-straight creators play with and use those semiotics without knowing doesn’t negate the fact that that language is there and was deliberately created for that purpose.
That also doesn’t make it queerbaiting. Maybe cis-straight dumbassery, idk (wouldn’t be if you just went “huh, didn’t think about that, cool read”)
Intentionally playing with and acknowledging those semiotics also isn’t necessarily queerbaiting.
Definitely queercoding though.
3.
Anyway this is all a bit murky territory, so let’s talk about Cobra Kai, my current little obsession, and about Star Trek, my always-obsession. Time-was you could get sued for your Star Trek fanfiction. Nowadays that fanfiction can get turned into a for-fun zoom play and read out loud by the two actors who played the original characters (Alexander Siddig and Andy Robinson). This is very fun, new territory for a lot of us.
Meanwhile Hayden Schlossberg and the other writers of Cobra Kai are openly aware of the fact that lots of people read their lead characters – Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence - as probably bisexual (and probably as in love) and are on good terms with several active members of fandom and fic-writing. This is… so fucking fun. And it doesn’t have that weird overtone of shit like Teen Wolf (“We’re on a ship” winky-face, followed by that about heel-turn “just think it’s weird and strange” or however tf it was described later on - that shit: definitely queerbaiting).
In Star Trek there’s a slim-to-none chance that these characters will ever become canonically queer in the main text, but the acknowledgement and the light-hearted open engagement with it makes such a massive difference (not that Siddig and Robinson weren’t talking openly about it as far back as the 90s).
In Cobra Kai there is no obligation to make Johnny or Daniel canonically bi because there’s been no promise to do so – there is, in my opinion, an obligation to create a world in which queerness exists and not just on the sidelines. In the same way as there’s an obligation to generally create a world that accurately depicts what LA looks like in multiple other ways (cough, not mainly white, cough). If a part of that were through exploring how 80s era toxic heteronormative masculinity could throw people deep into the closet for most of their lives, hey, that’d be a neat storyline (such a neat fucking storyline), but it’s not the only way to do it.
While I do like canonically queer couples in stories, I also think it’d really limit what queerness can do for a text if that were the only way it was represented - sure I ship Lawrusso, but I find the above-mentioned analysis of toxic masculinity’s effects on the characters-as-queer-coded to go much deeper than whether or not they get together. 
I also would love trans and/or other-gender characters - we all know Johnny needs his “gender-what?” ignorance challenged and the potential for characters like that to fit into a narrative around trauma, loneliness, and misfit-families is kinda perfect (and when I say characters, I mean that plural, we’re not a one-size fits all).
Lastly I think there is also an obligation to do exactly what the showrunners are doing - what didn’t happen with Hinton or SPN or Teen Wolf or Star Trek of yore or so much other popular fiction: say, oh yeah, that language is absolutely there, we recognise it, we can read it and it’s not weird or sordid or something to be judged. So that’s already a massive thumbs up/promising start.
4. some final thoughts:
Idk where all this’ll go. I’m still missing a lot of canonically queer representation - and when I say representation I mean more than just shoving in a queer character into a scene and not thinking about how that affects the world that’s been established. But I’m feeling a lot better about queerness and story than I used to.
I’m hoping that whatever comes moving forwards in culture in general it’ll have some thought put into it. I’m hoping that queerness and queer allegory and coding will be recognised more and more as important reads of text and will go into informing how something is made (Hannibal, Black Sails, Sense8, Pose). I’m just hoping this’ll mean some interesting, intelligent, wildly varied narratives.
Just very excited.
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kingofthewilderwest · 3 years
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I can't get the thought of Hiccup is definitely wearing his mother's old clothes (it's too similar-) because they were the only ones that doesn't sweep the floor, and Stoick is like those types of parents that reuse stuff to not waste any money. Or maybe Hiccup really like women's fashion of his era just like the personal ring choice he has, unlike the rest of the boys in the gang
Please feel free to follow your headcanons and heart. As for myself, I suppose I don’t see Hiccup as wearing women’s fashion or borrowing from his mother’s old wardrobe.
Maybe I’m misreading you or missing something. That’s possible... I’m a little sleep-groggy rn. XD I admit I’m not sure where you’re saying Hiccup’s and Valka’s clothes are too similar, because if you’re referring to flashback!Valka in HTTYD 2, she was taken away in those clothes, and people don’t tend to wear multiple copies of one outfit that’s similar or all the same color and cut. The clothes she left behind aren’t necessarily going to be similar enough to account for Hiccup’s appearance. Many characters can wear green, most people on Berk have similar style, and while you could refit adult!Valka’s left-behind-clothes for Hiccup or find her old childhood clothes, I don’t get the sense that Hiccup’s wardrobe is that well-used. If anything, Hiccup’s clothing even in the first movie seems fit for him and less worn than other people’s around him.
Some people have pointed out that Hiccup’s stylistic choice is weird: this wonderful post by someone who knows her stuff more than me here talks about how in HTTYD 1 Hiccup’s fur is pricey, the green dye is cheap, and his clothing has few tears or restitching, indicating it’s new and made for him. That makes sense on account of him being the son of the chief, with the most resources and wealth available of anybody on Berk. Others have reached a similar conclusion about Hiccup’s clothing being better and newer than his friends’. I made my own post about clothing indicating wealth.
As far as the vambraces Hiccup wears, it’s true I analyzed how they compared to what women wore, but I realize now my thoughts could be misread: my intended conclusion is that what he wears is stylistically different and adopted for functional rather than fashion purposes. That part of the vambrace he wears is not like what either Hairy Hooligan men or women wear. It’s his own thing and not an adoption of women’s fashion. That said, I’d be chill with someone wanting to say he got some inspiration from women’s style, given as it is sort of a weird in-between visually. So you interpret it as you like it!
To bring up though: Since that post, I realize I hadn’t been complete in my descriptions anyway... there’s instances of women wearing various forearm wraps without threading it between their fingers, too:
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And then, since that post was created, there’s newer things to look at from THW, where Ruffnut’s wearing something quite similar to before, but Astrid’s forearm clothing is a new variation. Still doing that finger thing though.
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So yeah, I guess. XD My analysis should be taken as “trying to fill in the gaps for fun,” but that can lend itself to recreational overthinking or noticing patterns the creators didn’t intend. It’s fun to interpret while knowing it’s my ideas and not necessarily that deep. Still, I do think that the specific type of arm wraps with the fingers threaded are intended to be a feminine style as designed by the DreamWorks peeps, and that Hiccup’s vambraces are different than those and fall into their own separate thing.
If anything, I’d say the character whose fashion follows Berk gender expectations the least is Ruffnut, but even then, I would say that only very tentatively; she doesn’t shirk them completely by any means. I’d want to go through screencaps showing similar styles to other characters like ROB Heather, Gothi, and background characters to show Ruff’s still not divergent either... just sliiiiiiiiightly more gender-neutral than someone like Astrid with her spiked skirts. Pffft, all the more reason she and Tuff get confused, right? ;)
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asherlockstudy · 3 years
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I sometimes wonder why it seems like the two of them are on different wavelengths re: fanservice. Early on Rhett (GMCL era) seems preoccupied with applying bro-ettiquette to them even in an era when they were caught in 4k all over each other at diners and restaurants. It's clear to the observer these two guys are closer than bros. At some point Rhett became aware of fandom and especially with his own preoccupation with how he is perceived, with early Rhink fan speculation and fanworks. I get the vibe he was tickled by the existence of this stuff, if only because it is fan content and fan content that implies his desirability, and tangentially his masculinity as he was often especially in early fandom, portrayed in contrast to Link, who even then despite being the more stoic at times, people were picking up on his more gender non conforming attributes (whether from a place of relatability or riddicule). Even though as we know, Rhett is no stranger to putting on some lashes and feeling himself, he also enjoys being compared to the Brawny man in his spare time, and maybe sometimes Link is a too convenient scapegoat for Gay Feelings. 'Don't make it weird' is usually foisted on Link in the text, but the subtext is loaded with times Rhett was clearly into it. Rhett leaned into bits that teased this aspect of their relationship, possibly because he enjoyed the excuse to get closer to Link under the premise of comedy and more recently, trolling, but Link has almost always reacted more inconsistently, sometimes especially if something is scripted, planned or initiated by him he dgaf but when something is spontaneous he shrinks away, pretends to ignore or otherwise attempts to dismiss that gay shit(TM), if it involves Rhett. When it's a male guest or just a compromising position, topic or otherwise could be seen as quare Link is much less self conscious and is recently extremely comfortable. This leads me to believe , along with what you said about Link's need to feel safe in his place beside Rhett, that Link might just have insecurity tangled up in the thought that Rhett would interact with him disingenuously i.e playing to the audience. That he would be making part of their actual relationship 'a bit'. Link is sensitive about how Rhett squeezes his neighbour's shoulder, and weirded out by Rhett adjusting his seatbelt for Pete's sake. It's clear that their rules of what he can expect- their languages of physical intimacy and boundaries between the two of them- are sacrosanct to him. Asking your friend of almost 40 years to go RVing with you, to open up to you more, and having them waffle about it but then enthusiastically/sarcastically pitch the idea of an innuendo-laden Vlog Camping Trip #fortheclicks sounds painful asf. Link's fear of being used instead of wanted. Not to mention, if Link is queer and/or has/had feelings for Rhett that it might feel incredibly painful to have the concept of you two being a couple flouted as some kind of punchline, but one you feel obligated to participate in to keep your optics-obsessed friendsband around. I don't doubt Rhett's actual motives, I think the guy genuinely loves Link (I can't know what type of love that is), and maybe he's a little curious about breaking certain boundaries and exploring new territory as he is inclined to be, and Link just wants to keep things solid between them. I think Rhett is still bad at articulating and even understanding his own feelings and motives and so it comes off as trolling/baiting at the worst. And I think that there's no doubt some issues with masculinity, and a desire to play with those rules in a way that doesn't feel vunerable, and that whole thing is a perfect storm for maybe unintentionally putting Link in an uncomfortable position.
I dunno, I may have just caught the speculation bug but "How am I supposed to act about that again?" haunts me.
Perfectly and very eloquently said.
I agree with everything you wrote and I believe there are even more layers that complicate the situation.
Rhett feels against the viewers like Link feels against (mostly) him. Rhett is caught between exploring his relationship with Link (partly thanks to the viewers’ positive feedback and partly due to his own needs, curiosity and feelings) and feeling overwhelmed by the audience’s voyeuristic tendencies and their intrusion into what he now discovers. Hence, the out-of-nowhere explosion “you won’t get what you want”. His frustration is actually perfectly justifiable - Rhett fears (and he is right) that the audience is an ever changing unreliable beast. They could get criticism and lose their fanbase for the things the very same fanbase would love see them explore for fun. If they went public about how some things turned more serious than their fans expected, many of those very fans could turn their back on them and they would have hurt their business and families irreversibly.
“How do we act about this? I forgot” Evidence of an extra layer in their relationship: that of Mythical and all their employees. Rhett and Link probably keep several different profiles of their relationship depending on their surroundings. One for the viewers, on as bosses with their employees, one as straight family men and one for when they are alone.
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love-takes-work · 3 years
Text
Steven Universe: End of an Era: Outline & Review
I wrote this review in October but never got around to posting it here
Steven Universe: End of an Era is far more than an art book–it’s also a collection of behind-the-scenes material, stories about the experience of working on the show, planning documents and associated background info, and both older versions of developed concepts AND concepts that never made it into the show. It's a huge fusion of all those elements, and it's definitely an experience!
Some low-quality images are included with my review just to give you an idea of what’s there--it’s not a good substitute for getting your own copy, but here’s a tour!
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Like the previous concept art book, Art and Origins, I'll be giving you a description of the structure and overview, while also collecting notable information for fans. Obviously just about everything is "notable" once again, but I'll aim for unique insight or perspective on the main source material, keeping the screaming about everything new to a minimum so you can also enjoy something for yourself if you pick it up. My low-quality photos should prevent people from feeling like I'm reproducing the book in any capacity. Please grab one while you can and have your own experience!
[SU Book and Comic Reviews]
OVERVIEW
The book is titled "End of an Era" for a couple reasons--obviously because it is released after the show has wrapped, but also because Gem history recently ended its "Era 2" and began Era 3--an age of prosperity and peace. The author--the person in charge of adapting all of this information into this slick, readable package--is Chris McDonnell, whose work was previously applied on the Art and Origins book.
The foreword is by N.K. Jemisin, a well-known science fiction author who's a huge fan of the show (and wrote a really excellent series that also has a weird geological connection, by the way).
And the cover, like its predecessor, is shiny and decorated with a beach scene featuring minimalistic characters--this time it's the Gems at night in front of the Temple, and on the back cover is a big pink leg ship in a cross-legged pose.
The interior covers are decorated with tons of amazing sketches of Steven and Connie on the front, and a bunch of Gem sketches on the back. Every interior page that most would leave blank is highlighted with some kind of sketch art or character exercise--it's so much to look at, so much to absorb.
The book is dedicated "For Eddie."
Its organization is different from the previous book in that it shares applicable work in chunks associated with groups of episodes rather than pertaining to different aspects of building the show.
FOREWORD
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N.K. Jemisin gives us such a great introduction to the book--apparently understanding very well that the audience of this book is full of animation enthusiasts and adult fans more than it is full of kids, and explaining that bewildering journey some adults had from blowing this show off as a silly kid thing to falling in love with it hard and fast.
The important thing, Jemisin says, is being able to trust a storyteller with your heart. And it was clear to her that Rebecca Sugar knew what she was talking about and was saying important things about identity and the radical power that comes with accepting it and demanding respect.
Important also is how we handle heroes and who gets to be one in fantasy. That's part of the reason Steven Universe speaks to so many--because we see ourselves here, and know stories can be about us. Acknowledging the power we all have to MAKE THINGS BETTER with what we fight for is so important--especially if we're going to speaking to the next generation about it.
Highlighting Rose Quartz as a "born leader" who failed and Steven as a relatable scamp who did what she couldn't, Jemisin asserts that we can save the world.
1. END OF AN ERA
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We start with an appeal to the audience to think about identity and the formative parts of our childhood--and how different it is if who you are and who you become is restricted, mocked, erased, or Not Allowed. Most people, if not ALL people, can relate to this, but for those of us with a special relationship with Steven Universe because of queer identity, this hits hard.
But it doesn't have to be anything grand to be something we respect--this show's authenticity comes largely from how personal everything is, drawn from real-life experiences and incidental truths from each artist's perspective, leaning hard on childhood and formative experiences.
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Rebecca Sugar offers some interview bits to discuss writing philosophy and why "writing female characters" was difficult for a nonbinary person who'd been socialized as a girl and a woman. Rebecca has spoken before about how frustrating it is that marketing for cartoons was SO gendered when she was growing up (and to some extent still is).
The Gems in the story are all "she/her," but on their planet they're defined by their work, not by emotion or relationships (unlike women in our society), so having them be socialized opposite to how she was and be able to claim those emotions through choice and NOT as just an expectation "as women" was revolutionary. Rebecca wants her show to tell all marginalized people that they don't deserve to be in the margins.
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Weighing in on other aspects of the show were Ian Jones-Quartey, Joe Johnston, and Miki Brewster. Ian describes feeling like at first doing SU was a thrill ride that meant they'd finally get to do all the cool stuff, but it quickly became a responsibility that he took very seriously--the need to tell a good story now that he'd been given a megaphone.
Promotional art, planning documents, character sketches, and concept art from the lighthearted to the stone serious is included, along with some very cool (sort of famous) timeline charts that track major characters' developments. It's emphasized by Rebecca that the developmental materials ARE NOT CANON (and especially are not MORE canon) compared the final show.
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There are concept sketches alongside final art for Aquamarine and Topaz in "Wanted" (with Topaz labeled "Imperial Topaz"), the Zircons in "The Trial," Blue and Yellow Diamond, and the Off Colors (including Pink Lars).
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And there's also a spread of "the two sides of Steven's life: Gem Magic and Rock N Roll" featuring Sadie Killer and the Suspects (referred to as "Buck's band")--as well as a cool "Crew Cameos" key and some concepts for short-haired Connie.
And then there's some more "finished" art with stills alongside concepts, including some background art, revision, and really cool "fairytale" art from some of the shadowplay storytelling bits. We get "Lars of the Stars," "Jungle Moon," and "Can't Go Back."
2. THE BEGINNING OF THE END: A SINGLE PALE ROSE
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In discussing the huge reveals and Gem mysteries in the show, the pacing is examined, and emphasis is put on the intended "slow burn." One of the most difficult things in the show was to strategize so that every piece that was needed to support another piece in the future was placed properly to seed what it was supposed to.
Some of the ideas they developed were more of a group effort and were fit together collaboratively (like Amethyst's being younger than the other Gems and Jasper being from Earth), while others were intended from the beginning based on Rebecca's vision (the fundamental idea of Pink Diamond's true identity, for instance, as well as Obsidian's design and sword and our Pearl not being Pink's first).
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The writing process gets a great deep dive here, including fun tidbits like how the orb in the moon base was inserted by Joe Johnston and they literally had no idea what it was for when they wrote the episode. They repurposed it when they figured out what they needed.
Rebecca credits her detailed timelines for helping keep the order straight, and discusses how other artists are sometimes flabbergasted that a storyboard-driven show can have this much detail and continuity and yet not get wrecked by the free non-scripted boarding process. But Rebecca and the Crew valued that approach and loved the way fresh eyes would handle an idea, making it come back alive, entertaining, vivid.
Several Crew members weigh in on the writing process. Lauren Hecht refers to making lots of incorrect guesses despite being on the inside. Joe Johnston recalled getting briefed on his first day and getting so excited to start working on this massive project.
Miki Brewster remembered being told Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond and being shocked--and also confused about why Ruby and Sapphire would need to be married if they're already basically married. Drew Green talks about being brought in late and getting to watch unaired episodes and a rough of the movie while eating cereal.
Ian Jones-Quartey complains about Pink Diamond's real jester-like form being leaked to the internet through a Hot Topic shirt. Rebecca piggybacks on that and says it was upsetting that the wedding was leaked because of toy fair keychains featuring Ruby and Sapphire in wedding attire. They'd always be worried about leaks, and sometimes Rebecca struggled not to talk about the reality of Pink Diamond before the reveal because she knew it would make so much more sense once the truth was out. And everything associated with Rose makes more sense once you know she's Pink--especially what happened with Bismuth, considering what we know about how Pink Diamond has a habit of treating anyone who no longer serves her interests.
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When it comes to visual cues, Rebecca also talks about intentional designs to create a feeling of unity between concepts, like the flower shapes on Pink Diamond's palanquin lining up with the poofs of Steven's hair and the star imagery of the series. Steven Sugar and Mary Nash discuss how the Human Zoo incorporated this imagery, trying to look like Homeworld with a Pink Diamond touch.
Steven Sugar, as a game nerd, liked to throw in video game references from old and modern stuff to feel like he's inserting what he's enjoying and who he is from moment to moment, while Mary Nash, who related to Sadie as a basement-dwelling young person with cult interests, liked to include stuff from MST3K and cult movies. Pearl's hand gestures get a spotlight too--her reflex to cover her mouth when Pink Diamond was being discussed was analyzed here.
A "Top Secret Visual Timeline" from 2016 is included which tells us some Diamond history. It has an earlier version of Pink Pearl's fate and does not include Spinel since the movie hadn't been greenlit. The timeline includes the birth of the Diamonds, the emergence and major story beats for each major character, and some philosophy of the driving force behind each.
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We're told that Pink Diamond straightened up, behavior-wise, after she lost her first Pearl, and that Yellow and Blue wanted to give her a planet but White only agreed to it to prove she would fail at managing a colony. Pearl, meanwhile, is so confused to have a Diamond who keeps asking her what she thinks when she doesn't believe she should have opinions.
And when Pink moonlighted as Rose to start conflict, she found herself leading an army to fight Pink's troops--then Yellow's, and eventually Blue's too. Lapis is said to be waiting for the conflict to end on Earth so she can terraform, but she gets trapped instead.
Pearl's love story with Rose is described as "an endless honeymoon" where she's free to love her, while Rose's is more like "I'm now the head of the family and I'm going to give everyone what they never had, so everyone is super special!"
Jasper is described as "adopted" into Yellow's army as the only successful Beta Quartz. And White Diamond knew that Pink Diamond was not dead--she thought she was just running away from home like a brat and would eventually be back.
3. THE HEART OF THE CRYSTAL GEMS
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Now we discuss Rose Quartz--the original Pink Diamond. How she was selfish and selfless, never enough and always too much, and how Greg was her first partner who "challenged her" to be an equal. Rebecca describes Rose as being delighted by the idea that both she and Greg reinvented themselves, but when that leads her to want to share her past, Greg isn't interested--he only wants to know who she is now, and doesn't consider the old her to be her.
Rebecca likes Carl Jung's concept of "enantiodromia," which is the idea that extremes lead to their extreme opposite. This is demonstrated in all of the Diamonds. This narrative is interspersed with drawings of Greg and Rose being cute.
But another "heart" of the Crystal Gems is its relationships--particularly, Garnet, the fairy tale romance embodied. More psychological theories are discussed with regard to differentiation in a relationship making the relationship stronger, and how they made sure that happened for Garnet during the appropriate arc. Rebecca has struggled with the idea that she, like Ruby, went straight from a "family" group to a living-with-others situation and never lived by herself. But she also learned that you can in fact develop as a person in the context of a relationship--you don't have to be alone to do it. Ruby learned that too, and chose on her own terms to be with Sapphire.
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The wedding made so much sense to Rebecca and the crew that they couldn't imagine a wholesome couple like Ruby and Sapphire not having a wedding episode. They wanted it for years: The wedding concepts always included the tuxedo for Sapphire and the wedding dress for Ruby.
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But pushback (often blamed on the conservative standards of the international market) led to negotiations trying to keep Ruby and Sapphire's relationship from being explicit. Rebecca and the Crew were very tired of this double standard, and they were especially irritated by attempts to claim a wedding wouldn't be well received by a core demographic or wouldn't make sense for Steven's character. But other shows had done weddings and Steven had been established to love weddings already.
Rebecca kept adding more elements to the wedding episode to answer all the concerns, but she didn't want to back down from explicit marriage between these characters. They deserved it. And the audience deserved to see this as wholesome, like any other cartoon wedding. Eventually they got their way and were allowed to have the wedding. But the ordered episodes were also coming to a close without promise of more, so Rebecca had to request more episodes to be able to wrap up the storyline!
And of course, there is Steven, the true heart of the team. A very interesting aside discusses Garnet's leadership and how the network pushed the Crewniverse to acknowledge Steven as the leader. This was successfully resisted throughout as well--because Garnet is the leader (unless she's incapacitated, of course). It's fantastic that this concept was preserved because too often a young male chosen one is elevated above people with more experience and knowledge because of that chosen one tradition, so it's really nice to have a show acknowledge that team leadership is more appropriate for an adult.
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4. ERA 3
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Beginning with a discussion of the Diamonds, this chapter deconstructs the dysfunctional "family" of the Diamonds (who are said to be based on tropes about evil stepmothers and stepsisters), with the thread of dysfunction originating with White Diamond.
Yellow is physical, Blue is emotional, White is judgmental, and Pink is impulsive. Some philosophy on why Pink is naturally manipulative and why she clashes so much with White is offered.
White believes her identity is to be imposed on all because she is the pinnacle of what should be--and therefore, she has the right to make decisions and statements about and on behalf of everyone. But her secret is that she can't do what the others do--act or feel or want. In trying to be everyone, she is no one.
And this becomes very important when she confronts Steven about his identity and turns out to be wrong. The triumph of Steven being totally, fully himself is a beautiful, simple revelation that's described as far more satisfying than the theories about Pink living inside him or Rose returning from his Gem.
Also discussed is Gem architecture. A lot went into this idea, and Steven Sugar weighs in to say he had to think of what it would mean for a world to have buildings but serve no human needs. That's why it's mostly focused on transport and storage. Even the broken planet is meant to indicate a place stripped for its resources, and everything serves a function that is meant to avoid looking like the human equivalents.
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And there's another layer, too: a difference between Era 1 and Era 2. Era 2 became more functional to hide Era 1's broken bits, and older Homeworld buildings still have some "ornate and ancient" feel to them. And the fact that props, tools, and even walls and doors could be living was taken from a concept Rebecca thought was horrible from old Busby Berkeley movies, where people were inanimate objects and it was portrayed as lovely. Tom Herpich helped conceptualize these living objects.
Steven dealing with "princess tropes" is discussed here too. The Pebbles (worked on with Pendleton Ward) were sort of his Cinderella's mice, and all the locked-in-a-tower, having supportive tiny friends help you, getting princess clothes made, attending a ball, having to mind your manners stuff was intentionally related to fairy tales.
The point of doing that (besides fun) was to easily invoke the feeling that Steven was being made to be someone he's not, and that he was being treated like THIS is who he really is when it isn't. White Diamond as the "evil stepmother" is discussed with regard to her detailed features and massive scale. They generally didn't put fingernails and eyelashes on characters (especially not to indicate that they were women or girls!), but they decided White would get all of these feminine markers for tradition's sake.
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Rebecca also invokes several other references that were included and describes the princess tropes as "chipping away at his integrity" setting him up for the final challenge with White.
There is again tons of concept art: Homeworld architecture, Pebbles, Diamond diagrams, background Jades and Lemon Jade Fusion, Comby, Diamond extraction chambers, and White Diamond.
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5. CHANGE YOUR MIND
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Now we finally begin to discuss Steven's identity. The "Perfect Steven," discussed in several interviews before this book's release, was an idea back in 2013; the "ultimate Steven," beefed up and shonen-looking, was far from perfect because OUR Steven is perfect, while this alpha hero Steven idea (used in Steven Universe Future) didn't belong being idolized in such a show.
They thought about having Steven fall apart into organic half and Gem half early in the show (during "Giant Woman" after a successful fusion and unfusion, even!), but they didn't try the concept until the last episode. They didn't want the "Pink" Steven to be portrayed as "better" even though he would be more powerful, so they decided he isn't whole without his organic self and he's just as much of a shell as the organic half. They absolutely did not want any ending that required Rose to be inside him or waiting to come back. But the debates were fierce--what DOES it mean to have Rose's Gem?
Ian Jones-Quartey brings in an anecdote about his own family to emphasize some of the immigrant themes that inspired aspects of the show. He had a brother who reinvented himself elsewhere away from family without resolving issues, and all the ramifications of that were explored in the show through Rose Quartz. (He is careful to say he doesn't think his immigrant experience is like being from another planet!) But he did say you can hurt your old family even if they were toxic or didn't know the real you, and you can hurt your new family by hiding your past. The Pizza family of course was also a more direct reference to Ian's Ghanaian family.
In talking about the new Fusions from this episode, Sunstone is largely described by Miki, who also got to board the Sunstone section. Sunstone was described as a cool 1990s character and the evolution just continued into making them a fourth-wall-breaking PSA dispenser. Obsidian is also discussed, with their sword being an early concept. Steven Sugar said they totally knew it would be forged in action. Obsidian being similar to the Temple design is of course another very early detail.
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The story of how James Baxter got involved with one of the final scenes (Organic Steven and Pink Steven fusing in front of White Diamond) was shared. His family was fans of the show and Rebecca Sugar took the time to drive to a birthday party for his daughter and give her a drawing. He then owed her a favor, and this was it.
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Concept art is again included, this time with sample boards, promo images, a Diamond fight concept, costume design changes for the Gems, new Fusions, the so-called "Mega Diamond" ship conglomerate, some scenes from the White Diamond confrontation, Pink Steven, multiple pages of James Baxter animation, corrupted Gems and their healed selves, and photos from the "Change Your Mind" premiere and some awards. The show has won one design-related Emmy, a Peabody Award, and a GLAAD award.
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6. STEVEN UNIVERSE FUTURE
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The book doesn't cover the movie because it got its own book, but dives right into Future. Ian Jones-Quartey emphasizes that the movie and Future are separate and different from the original show, which ENDED. After all, after that, Steven has a neck!
Some new names are invoked now: new writers Kate Tsang, Jack Pendarvis, and Taneka Stotts. They were excited to have Steven make HIS OWN mistakes instead of trying to clean up someone else's! Now, instead of doing the usual shonen anime thing and having the final battle be a big physical rumble, Steven has to make peace with himself and take an active role in coping with what all the fighting has done to him and what effect it's had on who he is (and who he wants to be). There is no sudden "I love myself!" answer, either. It's always a process.
Drew Green and Maya Petersen, who came on board as storyboarders officially in Future, also weighed in on writing for a "mature" show, how to deal with Steven being a "moral compass" while being sort of unreliable, and what they learned as Crew that they didn't know as fans. Drew didn't know Garnet never asks questions. Jack didn't realize the show never deviated from Steven's point of view. Taneka was nervous but excited to collaborate. Kate was worried about how established the show was and what to do as a new writer to contribute appropriately.
Maya was on the old Crew but not as a storyboarder, so felt like some of the "old" ideas ended up not being appropriate for the "new" Future in an embarrassing way--and dreaded the idea of dealing with Steven's emotional problems when they were similar to stuff she'd been through. She also was personally behind the idea of Steven wanting to dump his problems by becoming Stevonnie, and got to work with Etienne Guignard on inventing the Pearl creation backstory with Volleyball.
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There's some discussion of "depression hobbies," stress, and the show's pacing. And they say Etienne was entertaining at pitches. There's even some discussion of how Greg is taken off a bit of a pedestal because his terrible restrictive life in the suburbs sounded wholesome to Steven and Greg presented it negatively.
And then there is some information about how the Crew felt behind the scenes due to fan reactions and negative press. Ian discusses feeling offended when the Black characters are described as bad examples, as if their cartoonized but realistic-in-context features are automatically caricatures.
Rebecca Sugar felt beaten down by some of these narratives and began to access mental health services, inspiring some of the content of "Mindful Education." A long reflection from Rebecca discusses people's infighting about her show and what she had a responsibility to show or not show in the story. She learned a lot about bullying from Cartoon Network's anti-bullying program and learned that bullies thrive on whatever attention you give them--unless it is made clear to them by a peer group that no one is impressed by their cruel actions. Also, not all negative feedback is bullying. Constructive criticism is different. Self-awareness can help you avoid internalizing what bullies might do or say to you.
Segueing from the discussion of how people are affected by and connect with the show, we then discuss how they chose as a team what should be covered as the show came to a close. They didn't have time to do quite a few stories they wanted time for, like a Rhodonite story, a Lars side story, and Diamond "prehistory" and religion; all of it was put aside for the main arc with Steven.
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They thought people would find those stories about Homeworld and Off Color history very interesting, but so much of the show had been about Steven's Gem adventures, so keeping him mostly on Earth seemed appropriate. The acknowledgment of his battle damage, of his trauma, was necessary and real, and helpful in an important way to the core audience.
Oh, and there was some stuff about a cheeseburger tree. Don't ask.
In discussing the "reverse escapism" of the original show (Gem aliens are intrigued by everyday human culture, and realism is necessary), Rebecca says her views have changed on escapism and gets why some people want a soothing feel-better show. She acknowledged also that her own escapist dreams-come-true fulfilled in the show didn't feel like escapism because they were givens to the majority of mainstream culture, but were never guaranteed to marginalized people.
Rebecca ties in her several-times-told story about "Love Like You" and how the middle bit was when she didn't feel she was worth looking up to, and the realizations she had to tie the beginning to the end. Feeling like someone will like you less if they know you more is terrible. So sometimes a show like this can be helpful in telling people that they belong when their fantasies are things like "I want to be loved" and "I want to know I exist."
In Future, Steven has to connect to who he is and love that person--and understand that person enough to finally feel that even if he's not fixing their problems or saving their world right this second, Steven deserves his family's love and support, and they WANT to give it to him.
There's a huge amount of supplemental material in this section so there's no way I could name it all. The charts for Future's timeline are pretty straightforward, though a few episodes like "A Very Special Episode," "Why So Blue," "In Dreams," and "Bismuth Casual" aren't specifically represented and a couple are in a different order ("Prickly Pair" was conceived as happening after "Fragments" and "Homeworld Bound").
Steven feeling like a monster, having intrusive thoughts, having not forgiven the Diamonds, and getting help/moving on--it's all there.
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We have keys, color scripts, and boards for the new opening and some various backgrounds and storyboard art from episodes. Model sheets for Shep, Nice Lapis and Mean Lapis, Jasper, Steven Tag Gems, Pink Steven Powers, Monster Steven. New house concepts, Era 3 Homeworld concept art for the Diamond environments, and background art for the Reef.
New Connie and Greg designs. Concepts for Mega Pearl, the Rose Quartzes, Bluebird, and Morganite (who didn't get used). And there are some photos from recording and the conference room. There are even some extras from "Crossover Nexus," the crossover with OK K.O.!--including an unused cut scene that included Ruby and Sapphire fighting. The rest of the book is a bunch of adorable Crewniverse art--extras, blog drawings, promos, and gifts to each other.
NOTABLE
1.
The first timeline chart in the book features a cool sketch of the original Off Colors, which at the time this planning document was drafted included unused Off Colors Flint and Chert.
We knew of their existence already because of an episode of the podcast, but these two unexpectedly appeared as incidental characters in the Steven Universe Future episode "Homeworld Bound," identified only in the credits. Sad to think that instead of banding with the Off Colors, these two were probably shattered for their crime (being Quartzes who don't want to fight) and that's why we see them being repaired in this episode. Later, there's some brainstorming for types of Off Colors and "a Ruby that wants to wear limb enhancers" is mentioned as well.
2. 
It looks like there was also originally more juice to the story of tracking down the events of the war culminating in Pink Diamond's assassination.
One of the timelines talks about Steven thinking it makes sense that Pearl can't talk about her involvement because she might have been a double agent, explaining why Rose Quartz always knew what Pink Diamond was doing. It seems like that bit was supposed to be included in Garnet's version of the story she believed in "Your Mother and Mine." Seems like they originally conceived Garnet's story to inspire the Off Colors to become pirates and freedom fighters, though in the show's canon this storytelling happened after Lars had already reinvented himself the way he did.
Sadie was also supposed to be sending letters to Lars via Steven, which is funny since the "Letters to Lars" episode is just a montage Steven letter. And of course it's specified that Steven was supposed to get Pink Diamond flashbacks by going to the Palace on Homeworld.
3. 
The second chart in the book makes references to Sadie's reinvention of herself as a parallel to Lars, Greg, and Pink Diamond all doing the same thing, and how positive it is to embrace such a thing--a version of yourself that YOU create.
I love that Yellow Diamond's arm ship arm-wrestling the Cluster was always part of the plan.
There's some more explicit direction to have Connie help Steven understand the Diamonds as "strict parents," and a lot more emphasis on everyone realizing Rose had been inspired by THEM rather than them all following her.
White Diamond is presented here as if she thinks of Pink Diamond as a "daughter" (whom she now understands she has "lost"). There are notes on how the Diamonds have a responsibility to their children and should attend to it before just continuing to make more.
4.
One of the concept art images for the Off Colors features Rhodonite crouching by Padparadscha saying "Don't worry, I won't let them hurt you." It's very interesting because she DOES seem to protect Padparadscha in the show, but doesn't seem confident about it in her final version, even though it does seem like she'd be "programmed" to guard aristocratic Gems because of her Ruby and Pearl makeup. Cool.
5.
A "Crew Cameos" spread was included, which is of great interest to some of us who loved seeing the Crew insert themselves into the show. Not every SU Crew person who's been represented in a crowd was there, but this crowd included Amish Kumar, Kat Morris, Amanda Winterstein, Angie Wang, Lamar Abrams, Emily Walus, Mary Nash, Joe Johnston, Christy Cohen, Danny Cragg, Hilary Florido, Danny Hynes, Matt Burnett, Ben Levin, Elle Michalka.
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6.
The official national flower of South Korea, Hibiscus syriacus, is the name of Pink Diamond's flower.
7.
One of Steven Sugar's comments about the silhouette difference between humans and Gems points out that humans have ears. This seems to be pretty good confirmation that they are not supposed to have ears, despite that sometimes we'll see ears drawn on them in some frames.
8.
Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond is characterized in this book as "self-hating" in a really interesting way, saying that because she believed she was not capable of compassion, she practically worshiped those who demonstrated that ability and thought they were so much better than her--which is described as "intoxicating" and resulted in others being drawn to her. How interesting is that!
9.
Timelines reveal that early plans for Pink Diamond's first Pearl originally had her getting destroyed by Pink during  a game, and then her destruction was rewritten as a punishment from the Diamonds after Pink Pearl defended Pink Diamond to the other Diamonds. They went back to the idea of her getting hurt by Pink for the final version, though the cracked face and control by White Diamond was not on the agenda until they started writing "Change Your Mind."
10.
The approximate ages of the major characters, based on emergence, are revealed on these timelines. It begins with a cracked-planet-looking graphic depicting four tiny Diamonds emerging at 20,000 years ago. Some suspicious "blacked out" redacting surrounds a long timeline tail that goes back before that, which may mean there are secrets they still don't want to reveal. But the dates go like this:
20,000 years ago: The Diamonds emerge.
11,000 years ago: Pearl is custom-made for Pink Diamond.
8,000 years ago: Sapphire emerges (on Homeworld).
6,000 years ago: Ruby emerges (on a colony).
5,750 years ago: Garnet is formed.
5,600 years ago: Lapis is poofed and put in the mirror.
5,200 years ago: Jasper emerges (on Earth).
5,050 years ago: The Cluster is planted.
5,000 years ago: Amethyst emerges (on Earth).
4,500 years ago: The Crystal Gems found Amethyst.
3,000 years ago: Peridot emerges (on Homeworld).
40 years ago: Pearl found Lapis's mirror at the Galaxy Warp.
And of course we know 14 years ago Steven is born!
11.
Originally the Diamonds were based on a quartet of themes: Love, Fear, Pride, and Sorrow. It got too complicated to keep and it was abandoned, with Pink's identification of "love" being described as "particularly outdated."
12.
Notes on a sketch say that Pearl was inspired to become bold and unashamed because Pink's questions drove her to have opinions, and it's said that Rose "fell in love" with her boldness.
13.
Rebecca tells the story of driving off a ridge and getting stuck in the desert, comparing this to Ruby's tumble during her Wild West adventure and using it as inspiration. She's told this story before but here it is in print. She also included the story about using the flowers from a friend's wedding to put in Ruby's hair.
14.
Rebecca describes having to "fight" notes she was given when it had to do with Ruby and Sapphire's relationship. One she describes as NOT fighting was for a signing card depicting Ruby and Sapphire dancing. It was called "too romantic" and she decided not to worry about it since it wasn't the actual show content.
She was also scolded over her book The Answer because the powers that be expected her to downplay that relationship. She always argued that queer youth deserved these things.
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15.
Tom Herpich describes being inspired to name Blue Diamond's comb "Comby" because he was watching the news about Comey getting fired from the FBI. It's also a mineral-related term and I always assumed that reference was intentional, but maybe it's not and this is the only intended significance to Comby's name?
16.
Rainbow Quartz 2.0's design is not discussed, though the other two new Fusions from "Change Your Mind" (Sunstone and Obsidian) were. RQ2 has some sketches included, but no accompanying narrative in the text.
17.
A sheet of corrupted Gems and their healed selves is offered, though it doesn't appear to be final. The obelisk in "Serious Steven" is labeled Albite. The unnamed Worm Monster, Desert Glass, and Watermelon Tourmaline are included. An unnamed birdlike Gem represents the Big Bird monster from "Giant Woman." The crab monster from "Arcade Mania" is labeled Blue Chalcedony. The Tongue Monster is drawn uncorrupted but not named. The Flower Monster from "Back to the Kindergarten" is labeled Grossular Diopside or Titanite. The invisible monster from "Island Adventure" is labeled Moonstone. The Lighthouse Gem is labeled White Topaz. A form for Larimar that was used in "Change Your Mind" but changed in Future is there. The Slinker is listed as Chrysocolla. And the Crab Monster is listed as Aventurine.
On the next page, this is changed to Bixbite (as it was in Steven Universe Future), and we then also have Lace Amethyst, Blue Lace Agate, Crazy Lace Agate (Fusion), Ocean Jasper, the Mother Centipeetle Nephrite (Facet 413 Cabochon 12) and three other Nephrites, Angel Aura Quartz, a hooded Jasper, Zebra Jasper, Biggs Jasper, Watermelon Tourmaline (labeled as Fusion of Gem * Onion--huh?), Snowflake Obsidian, "Little" Larimar, and Orange Spodumene (who was the Worm).
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18.
The Rhodonite side story would have been about the love story of a Ruby and a Pearl working for Morganite. Images of Morganite and her servants, unfused, are in the book. We do not get this additional information, but Rebecca said in a panel shortly before the book's release that Rhodonite's story would have been about finding out that she had been Rejuvenated 17 times because her components kept falling in love and needing to be reset.
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19.
Referring to the Diamonds on one of the charts, Steven's perspective is "I can't believe I helped these" and then there's a censor bar. Welp.
20.
Some included art by Hilary Florido features Kevin with a souped-up Koala Princess car and another where Kevin is staring at himself in the mirror in front of an altar to himself.
21.
Rebecca's sweater collection is included in the Crew art.
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[SU Book and Comic Reviews]
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sweetfirebird · 3 years
Note
(Also and again, if you aren't doing DVD commentary, please ignore and have a brilliant day!) Was there any specific element of the writing of Devotion of Delflenor that came super easy OR was a struggle to write about?
{Futurama meme of Fry with his eyes narrowed suspiciously: not sure if this is a genuine question about Delf, or someone trying to make me feel better about Delf. lol}
I mean... I don't know anything about that sort of weaponry, so I ended up watching a lot of videos about fighting on horseback, etc.
The gender stuff... I think it's weird, if not difficult, trying to make characters who have genders that are relatable and describable to an audience of people now, but who in the text come from a culture where it does not matter in the same way. You end up taking time to describe things that, in that world, people would note and move on from without paragraphs of explanation. But that's kind of true of any worldbuilding. It just felt like, gotta make it extra clear that this story has maybe two? cis characters in it and I worried about it a lot.
Which again, is really funny considering the lack of audience.
I did that for Taji too. With the humans, not the Sha. The humans are coming from places where gender matters/does not matter in the way it matters here and now, but talking about it felt both clunky and necessary. Maybe none of those space marines is strictly cis but unless it was relevant to Taji and required him to take note, he does not.
The easiest way to do this, in Delf I mean, was to remove any of the gendered language stuff I could find. Even to the point of saying, what's the line? Something about foxes to chickens. They are talking about the relationship between the humans and the spirits/gods and they say something about that and anyway, I originally wrote it as a foxes to hens, and then I was like, nope. Hens has connotations and it is very gendered when you apply that to humans, so nope. Their titles are not gendered. They do not even have any sort of marriage contracts or expectations of marriage. You dress more based on your occupation and then your personal tastes than anything else. I don't know if I removed all of the gendered language, but I did my best to cut it out or avoid it. Hopefully to create a better sense of why that shit did not matter to them like it matters to us.
Hopefully.
If you mean the making up a religion and stuff... that was just me being dumb. "Oh let me tell an Arthurian knights story but I don't want to do all the heavily Christian-era stuff. Let me just not do that... oh wait except the motivations for the Christian-era stuff kind of depend on that so oop guess I'm inventing a religion anyway."
I am dumb.
Anyway the Three kind of merge some early paganism AND early Christian theology (which was in turn trying to coopt the paganism), so it's actually not all that radical. And Rosset is basically the Fisher King but without an injury to his "thighs"..... so it's fine. It's all fine. And there is no sword in the stone just some gay-ass rainbows.
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megashadowdragon · 3 years
Text
coldhands identity is brave danny flint
Could Coldhands be Brave Danny Flint? It sounds crackpot, and very likely is, but the more I thought about it the more it appealed to me. I've done a quick search, one or two people seem to have floated this before but it's never had much in-depth analysis. This is my first meta, so please be gentle and C&C welcome.
The Gender Agenda To start with, I'll start with the elephant in the room - Danny Flint was a girl, Coldhands is male. Or is he? Gilly, Meera, and Bran all refer to him as male, but they have no idea who he is, so would see Night's Watch clothes and assume. He wears a scarf over his face, and while they can see his eyes and that his face is pale, it took Bran's gang a decent amount of time to work out he was a walking corpse, so I'm not sure I trust them to figure out niceties like gender. Leaf's "They killed him long ago" is more of a problem - she's a colleague, she would probably know. My best defence is that maybe Children of the Forest don't do gender in the same way as humans? This feels like a reach, but we have had another magical species with sexual fluidity leading to trouble with pronouns in the series. Otherwise, Leaf tends to hang out in the cave, Coldhands can't get in, maybe they're just not that close. Finally, the main person to ask - Coldhands his or her self. The only other post I could see on reddit about this theory had someone respond with the quote "Once the heart has ceased to beat, a man's blood runs down into his extremities, where it thickens and congeals. His hands and feet swell up and turn as black as pudding. The rest of him becomes as white as milk", but I'd point out this is in third person and a generalization - "a man", not "me, Coldhands, the man".
Okay, now I've convinced everyone my theory is terrible, let's get into the meat of it.
Hands cold as stone This was what got me into this rabbit hole in the first place - House Flint's sigil is "A grey stone hand upon a white inverted pall on paly black and grey". A stone hand would be pretty cold, right? In point of fact, when we first met Coldhands, the final line of the chapter describes "fingers hard as stone." On top of that, the white and black background seems to fit the Night's Watch blacks, pale face, black hands, white snow, etc.
Who the hell else could it be? This has always been the weird thing about Coldhands for me. Honestly, there's a very good chance this is a non mystery mystery, he's a zombie Night's watch ranger riding an elk, do we really need a secret identity? However, "who is Coldhands?" is one of the most commonly asked questions in the fandom, so let's assume it's getting an answer. We know: a) night's watch member b) killed a long time ago, as reckoned by a 200 year old, c) not Benjen. There are essentially 3 historical periods where we know any specifics about the Night's Watch: 1) the long night/age of heroes, 2) Targaryen era, 3) recent history. If we work through these backwards, we can pretty much rule out the recent era for not meeting the criteria of "killed a long time ago". The Targaryen era didn't have much Night's Watch drama, a few kings sent to the wall at Aegon's conquest, Raymun Redbeard's invasion is wall related but the whole point of that story is that the Night's Watch failed to really get involved... the only strong contender from this period is a mysterious magical Targaryen bastard who went to the wall and went missing... but he's the other mysterious good zombie wandering around up north. The long night has a lot of Night's Watch focus, but it was 10,000 years ago. Allowing for this being in-universe exaggeration, it's still ~2,000 years ago, and if Coldhands were that old, I'm not sure he'd be in elk-riding mutineer-killing form, or at least not look passably human to Bran and co. This rules out specific timeline characters, which leaves more folkloric characters like Danny Flint, who isn't associated to any one point in time. There's a song, and she's treated as a well-known tale, which implies a fairly long time, but overall could be whenever. This works for any of the folkloric Night's Watch characters, but the Rat King is already otherwise occupied with a different cannibalistic pseudo immortality, leaving Mad Axe, who does have the massacring fellow brothers down pat, but doesn't feel thematically right to me. This section really grew in the writing, but TL;DR - assuming Coldhands is someone we've heard of before, no specific historical figures seem to match up chronologically, leaving figures from folk tales and songs, which there are only so many of.
Mutineer Massacre For a character we've all obsessed over so much, it's easy to forget how little we've seen of Coldhands. His role in the story has effectively been "transport Sam and Gilly to the wall, transport Bran and co to Bloodraven, massacre the Night's Watch mutineers". Hold up, one of those things is not like the others. During his quest to get Bran to Bloodraven, to awake the messiah and save the world, Coldhands takes a break and makes a detour to kill the Night's Watch Mutineers from Crasters. This is explicitly noted to be something they slow down for, when time is critical. Admittedly, it secures the party some delicious Long Pork when supplies are low, but even in aDwD it seems like there are other ways to get meat than to hunt humans, besides which he kills not one but five mutineers. He claims it is because the mutineers are following them, but Meera points out they've been circling for days - it seems Coldhands deliberately sought the mutineers out. The brutality of the kills also suggests more than utilitarian pragmatism - there are entrails slung through branches and severed heads! All of this to say, Coldhands is deliberately shown as both a member of the Night's Watch, and willing/going out of his way to punish Night's Watch brothers who break their vows and harm their fellow brothers, something Danny Flint might take personally. Basically, it's a classic exploitation movie with an elk-riding zombie as the wronged woman hunting down wrongdoers. Someone call Tarantino to direct this.
A True Night's Watch One of the big themes GRRM loves is the idea that outsiders to an institution can be the truest embodiment of that institution - Dunk and Brienne are the truest Knights, Davos is the truest lord, the Manderlys are the most loyal northerners. Coldhands already seems to tie into this - the Night's Watch are tireless defenders from the Others and their Wights, so ironically the staunchest ranger is undead as well. It would only emphasise this theme if this ultimate Night's Watch ranger was someone who was barred from entry, had to sneak in, and was murdered by their brothers for not belonging. There also seems to be a thematic tie in that Danny Flint had to essentially infiltrate the Night's Watch and keep her cover in hostile terrain, much like Coldhands in the Others controlled north.
Bonding over being murdered by your brothers Coldhands has so far been very much one of Bran's cast, but it's worth noting characters can switch storylines, and we have someone else in the North who can soon relate to being a back-from-the-dead Night's Watchman fighting the Others - I'm hardly the first to note the Coldhands/Jon parallels, but Coldhands being another character who was murdered by the Night's Watch due to their conservatism and hatred of outsiders would add another layer.
Miscellany A couple of quotes I found while researching for this: “Did Mance ever sing of Brave Danny Flint?” “Not as I recall. Who was he?” (ADWD Jon XII) - Tormund and Jon talking, Tormund mistaking Danny Flint for a man, this feels like one of those throw-away lines GRRM likes to include to make a little double meaning once the truth is out, or just seeding the idea of mistaking Danny Flint for a man. “The ranger wore the black of the Night’s Watch, but what if he was not a man at all?" (ADWD Bran I) - again, I could see GRRM giggling as he typed that if this theory were true.
Conclusion Honestly, there is every chance this is absolute nonsense, and I've just lost it waiting for TWoW. I tend to lean towards Coldhands not having a big identity reveal, he's an undead ranger co-opted by Bloodraven and that's enough. However, if Coldhands is to have an identity reveal, I think Danny Flint deserves consideration: there aren't that many viable candidates, her story is emotionally intense enough and has been referred to often enough that a casual fan could be expected to go "oh!" instead of "...let me google that", and it would fit with existing themes of the story. The angle of Jon parallels even gives an opening for the reveal to be natural and facilitate character and thematic arcs, which is what I look for in a theory.
comment on reddit
Yeah, the Flint (of Flint's Finger) sigil literally being a Cold Hand is what sold me on this when I started looking into it. There's also some other intriguing textual stuff about it...
The weird thing about Danny Flint is that she is only mentioned three times in all of ASOIAF. Three! Bran recounts her tale in Bran IV, ASOS; Theon hears Wyman Manderly demand her song in The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD; and Jon discusses her tale with Tormund in Jon XII, ADWD.
This was kind of shocking to me. Danny Flint is a pretty recognizable name to, I’d figure, the majority of attentive readers. I thought she must have been mentioned before the third book, at least, but… nope. Her tale is first introduced to us in Bran IV, ASOS, the Nightfort chapter… Oh, what’s that? Wait, isn’t that… the very same Nightfort chapter where we first hear about Coldhands? (Well, no, actually, he appears at the end of Samwell III before that, but this is the first chapter where he is identified as Coldhands.) Chronologically, Sam meets Coldhands, Bran thinks about Danny Flint, and then Sam introduces Bran to Coldhands, in fairly quick succession.
So it seems GRRM came up with Danny Flint and Coldhands around the exact same time. Interesting. Danny Flint is then not mentioned again until ADWD, when the Coldhands mystery is developed further. Double interesting.
Also, the Bran chapter directly preceding the Nightfort chapter– our first introduction to Danny Flint– is the one where Meera tells him the story of the Knight of the Laughing Tree, another tale of a northern warrior woman dressing as a man and hiding her face in service of some greater goal. Stretch? Maybe.
And why would Coldhands' face be covered at all if there WASN'T some big reveal upcoming? What utility would that have? That scarf clearly seems like a setup for SOMETHING. He doesn't need it for warmth. He's likely hiding a face that would make him recognizable to Bran/Meera/Jojen (and the readers), but died long ago... the only way that reveal could work without a ton of laborious exposition is if he took off the scarf and it was obviously a 'female' face, making it obviously Danny. It also seems likely Coldhands will interact with at least Bran and Meera again, both of whom are somewhat connected to Danny Flint’s story– Bran via his love of stories and legends, and Meera via the breaking of gender roles. So there's thematic levels to it as well.
source www . reddit . com/r/asoiaf/comments/llwm8m/coldhands_identity_spoilers_extended/
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imacrowcawcaw · 4 years
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Eyes of Juniper Ch. 1 (A Metallica Fic)
Ao3 Link
Author (as known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Deviantart and Wattpad, @sammy_bluebells - Instagram, @imacrowcawcaw - main Tumblr, @insannywestan - Sanny shipping Tumblr Pairing: Lars Ulrich/James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett/Cliff Burton, Lars/Female Character (briefly), Lars/Male Character (kinda, more just awkward one sided flirting then Lars gets rescued by his knight in a ratty Motorhead shirt) Fandom: Metallica Tags/warnings: Sex-swap AU, early 80s era 'tallica, smut, gay smut, also het smut since the whole gender switch thing, drinking and alcohol, lots of cussing and profanity, should warn that Lars goes into detail about taking a piss cuz ya know it's new to him, Idk I'll add tags per chapter as I think of shit
Notes: 
1. Okay, so I spent like months thinking about whether to do this or not. On the one hand, yes this has so much potential to be fun (and I've seen some other sex swap stories i like). On the other hand, a lot of the whole sex/Gender swap thing is really stereotypical gender shit and goes against what I personally believe. But, creative juices won out and I'll try to keep true to character as much as possible while also making this funny and not too misogynistic (if that's possible).
2. This is a work in progress! I started it a year and a half ago, and now a friend is helping me continue 
3. This story is inspired by the song 'Jewel of the Summertime' by Audioslave (on their album Revelations) I love this song and it is awesome you should totally go listen to it.
4. The witch-lady is inspired by Aine, Celtic goddess of love, summer, wealth, and sovereignty. I literally just googled 'goddess of love' then scrolled through a list to find someone other than Aphrodite (don't get me wrong I love Greek mythology but it just wasn't right for this fic) and came across this girl. I only did a quick Wikipedia read, I'm not planning on going too heavy into her myth and more just using her for the plot but.... If anybody is more well versed in Celtic mythology and I seem to get something wrong, please feel free to comment and I'll try my best to make it accurate!
5. Woo damn that was a lot of stuff, I don't blame you if you didn't bother reading it. Now, on with the show!
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1984 (Lars' POV)
The first thing I felt when I woke up was this odd sense of.... well, just something being fuckin' off. Like I was missing something, but also like I had gained something? I felt like a brand-new person, although in my gut I was still me.... Man, I must have had WAY too much Jager last night, it's fucking with my head.
I slowly peeled the itchy fleece blanket off of my body and rolled onto the floor, which was about a foot from the bare mattress. We really needed to invest in some sheets, especially if we wanted to keep bringing chicks back to the house. Apparently, most girls are not at all impressed by stained, lumpy mattresses with almost no bedding on them.
Speaking of girls and mattresses, didn't I bring one home last night? I raised my head slightly from its position from the threadbare carpet and looked at the bed, trying to see if Anna (Was that her name?) was still there. Yep, there was a naked hippy still passed out in my bed, sweet!
I groaned quietly as I stood and shuffled my way out the door and down the hall to the bathroom. It was then I noticed that I didn't really have the usual alcohol-and-early-morning-and-piss induced erection, but my bladder was still straining. Huh, weird.
Whatever. I just wanted to pee, get rid of that feeling in my gut, and get that dead possum taste out of my mouth. Pushing open the door and wincing as the creaky hinges screeched through my headache, I pulled down my boxers and reached for my dick.... What the fuck?
WHAT THE FUCK?
WHERE WAS MY MOTHERFUCKIN DICK?!
Trying not to panic, I looked down, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment so I wouldn't have to see right away. But, of course, that kind of defeated the purpose of looking down, so I opened them again. No dick. The hell was going on?
Taking a deep, calming breath, I tried to think through this rationally. My dick, for whatever reason, was not where it was supposed to be. But, my bladder was still full and begging to be released, so obviously my system or whatever was still working. That need to pee was turning into a burning pain, so I tried to come up with a solution. If I don't have a cock, then I can piss through....what, exactly? Is there anything down there at all? What is even going on!?
Pulling in another deep breath through my nose, I let it hiss out between clenched teeth as I slowly, so slowly, touched my fingers to my abdomen and moved them downwards, dreading what I would find. Annnnnd....... Yep, there it was.
Velvety soft lips, slick, pungent juices; anatomy I knew so well but never, EVER expected to feel on myself. My crisis would have to wait a minute, though, 'cause my bladder was going to explode and no dick be damned I needed to do something about it.
Gingerly sitting my ass down on the toilet (god, so weird sitting down just to piss) I tried to slowly let it out. The feeling was...well there was certainly relief of the pressure, but it also felt strange in a way I couldn't really describe. I could possibly get used to it, not that I'm planning on staying like this or anything.
Cringing as I wiped, I slowly pulled the boxers back up to my hips that I just now noticed were a little wider than usual. And my hands, were they smaller? Softer? My chest too....HOLY SHIT I HAVE BOOBS! That, I might be able to get used to.
I turned to the mirror, and was quite shocked at what I saw. There was a girl standing there, with large, doe-like green eyes staring back at me from underneath brown bangs. She had a nice tan on her upper body, although her breasts were still pale where she clutched at them, small rosy nipples poking through her fingers. A pair of black cotton boxers stretched tight around the small curve of her hips, but hung loose around her milky thighs that almost touched. And this...this chick was me. ME.
Shaking my head, I splashed some water onto my face and rubbed my eyes, hoping it was just a fucked up dream. No such luck.
I was considering hiding in the bathroom forever, because no way in hell could I let the guys see me like this, let alone figure out how to explain, when I heard a scream. It sounded a lot like Kirk's voice, so I pushed my problems to the back of my head and ran into the hallway, stopping dead in my tracks at what I saw.
Anna, or whatever her name was, stood at the top of the stairs, dressed in flowing black robes with green Celtic designs all over them. She had jewels and charms hanging from her waist, wrists, neck, and ears, each tinkling as she tossed some sort of... Powder onto a very shocked looking Kirk. Or at least, I was pretty sure it was Kirk. He (she?) seemed to be in the same boat as me as far as bodies were concerned at the moment.
With a final dusting of powder, witchy-chick turned to me and smirked. "I hope you learn your lesson, I'll be back in a week. And as for you...." She turned to Kirk, "Well, you're just too damn cute! I couldn't resist seeing what a pretty girl you'd make!"
"This is your fault? You bitch! " I yelled. "Why the hell did you do this to us? Who are you? Change us back, then get the fuck out! I don't wanna be a damn girl, and neither does Kirk!" God this was fucking insane, that chick was crazy!
She hissed at me, eyes flashing in a way that could not be human. "Now you listen, GIRL. You'll stay like this for as long as I deem fit. You need to learn some respect for women, and being one is the best way to do that. I suppose you don't remember what you did last night?" She asked, looking bored and ready lo go fuck up someone else's life.
I thought hard, then it came creeping back to me. The bar, the Jager, the flirting with a group of girls, copping a feel and getting slapped, then her changing her mind and coming home with me, talking dirty in her ear, then unworldly sex, her whispering what sounded like a spell in my ear as I came... Holy shit.
"Is this about me grabbing your ass? I'm sorry! Please don't do this!" I begged, finally starting to let the situation sink in and desperation set. This could not be happening.
"Hmph," she snorted, "Begging isn't going to get you anywhere. I've seen humans beg for much less, and they still didn't get it. No, you'll love your life as a woman for a week, both of you, and hopefully you'll come to realize the struggles and terror that comes with it. If you've learned your lessons and are truly sorry, then you will be turned back. If not... Well you'll just have to stay like this until you do."
And just like that, she turned with a flourish and disappeared into thin air. My morning could not get any crazier, I was sure if it. But, because I wasn't actually sure and was suddenly doubting all logical occurrences in the world, I knocked on the wooden railing. That done, I turned towards Kirk.
He (seriously, do I call us he's or she's now? This is so fucked up) was shaking like a leaf, looking like he'd fall over any moment. I went over to grab him, calm him down, something.
"Shh shh, it's all right, Kirk," I muttered in his ear, awkwardly patting his back. I never thought I'd need to, but it really fucking sucks I can't comfort him any better than this. It was like this sour feeling in my chest that nestled in right next to my heart, whispering how awful I was at this and how he's probably mad at me for getting him into this situation.
Before I could ask him if he wanted to punt me out of a window, though, I heard some shuffling and talking coming from downstairs. James and Cliff were headed up here. As much as I wanted to hide for a week until my fuckin' "lesson" was up, I couldn't exactly drag Kirk into the hall closet in his current state, so I stood my ground.
"Hey, ladies, we do appreciate the service you've done our ugly ass friends, but could you keep the cat fight down until you've left the house?"
Ah, James, the man still didn't know how to talk to women after all this time. He was either too shy to form a sentence, or he put on this macho bravado that turned him into a drink asshole. Either way, this lady was not pleased.
By now I guess the guys had reached the landing Kirk and I were at and saw me hugging him, because Cliff chimed in, "Aww, they've made up! Good! Now, can I ask what exactly you two were telling about so loudly that it woke me and my boy James up? Did Lars do something?"
My back straightened at that, and I turned my head to him indignantly. "I did fucking not!" I retorted, even though apparently this whole situation was my fault. No need for them to know that, though.
"Holy shit, Lars!?!" James screamed.
I sighed. "Hi, Jamie."
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Chapter 2
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purplesurveys · 4 years
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1013
surveys by -thoughtlessdork
Have you ever had the chicken pox? No. I’m constantly in a place of waiting for it to pass by, because everyone tells me all people are bound to have it at one point in their lives (idk how true that is, though). I am also told it gets a lot suckier as one gets older, so...not too thrilled about it at all.
how often do you do laundry? I don’t handle that chore myself, but it’s done 1–2 times a week in our house.
Have you ever been evicted? Nopes.
would you grow your own garden? I don’t see that happening. I’m a magnet for killing plants.
do you know anyone who snores? I do.
Trigger warning kinda, by the end.
what is your favorite font? Proxima Nova. It’s the default font that my org used for all documents and works-in-progress, and it ended up becoming my actual real-life favorite. I’ve always picked out that font even outside of org matters.
do you know what a wombat is? Sure.
would you make a good movie critic? Not at all. I don’t know enough about different filmmaking elements to make a reliable critic. I’ve criticized things like acting, plots, and dialogues in the past, of course; but there’s still so many things that go into films that aren’t overtly projected like lighting, symbolism, hidden meanings, etc. I don’t have a very good nose for those.
what goal are you aiming for this year? In the last 8 weeks of the year? Hmm...avoiding corona would be at the top of that list, lmao.
are you currently reading any books at the moment? No. I’ve stopped opening the book I used to constantly mention on here.
when i say foxy lady what comes to mind? Beyoncé’s character in the Austin Powers movie she was in lol; her name was Foxxy.
would you have liked to have lived during the Victorian times? Wasn’t this era like a golden age of sorts for the UK? I’d love to visit for that purpose; but given the still-horrible hygiene and living conditions for most people of the time, I wouldn’t choose to live there.
would you own a Siamese cat? No.
have you ever had an ultimate adrenaline rush? I don’t think so. I’ve had bursts of energy in the past, but I wouldn’t call any of them an ultimate adrenaline rush.
do you like deviled eggs? I’ve never had them; it’s not a common dish here. But they always look so good in the American shows I watch??? I really hope they taste as good as they look.
what tends to upset you? Hearing anything about animal abuse.
what's the farthest you've walked? I can’t give you a distance, but my parents opted for us to walk the whole time we were in Bali (except if we had a tour day which included transportation). Walking in an unfamiliar - and very humid - country and not knowing where anything is (this was before food and travel apps got as detailed as they are today) and ending up walking long stretches because you can’t locate any good local spots is a very easy way to run out of patience, apparently.
what is your favorite horror movie? Carrie was pretty fun.
what does your favorite shirt look like? It’s a twist on the Chicago flag, made black and red and with a raised fist in the middle. At the back it says “CM Punk: Best in the World.” Been my favorite and most overused shirt for the past 9 years. My friends tease me about it sometimes, but I don’t care lol, the shirt is very significant to me.
is your life like a daily routine? It is, but I prefer that it is. I like when things are in my control and, for the most part, predictable. I enjoy spontaneity in short bursts.
were you ever told as a child if you eat carrots you'll have pretty eyes? So many times.
what career are you most interested in? Communications and media, so it’s great that I’m headed there so far.
have you ever seen a rooster? Sure.
what time do you usually wake up? I wake up wake up by 7:30 or 8 AM, but I usually also wake up for a bit any time between 4–6 AM. Sometimes I choose to stay up from then, and sometimes I’d want to go back to sleep.
what do you think about religion? It’s good when people use it for good, or if it has helped save a person’s life. In my own personal experience, though, it’s beenhard to find Christians who aren’t hypocritical. So even though I see religion’s potential, I don’t have a lot of trust in believers themselves.
what made you feel most accomplished in your life so far? Graduating college.
have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? I saw the super blue blood moon two years ago, which according to a quick Google search is a lunar eclipse! So yeah, I’ve seen one.
what are you allergic to? No allergies.
do you ever feel like people hold things you do or say against you? Only my mom does this.
what can't you afford but wish you could? Front-row Wrestlemania tickets. My childhood (and now adulthood) dream is to go to Mania 50 which is only 14 years from now, but at least I still have more than enough time to save up for it. 
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what is one word that sums up this year so far? Revelatory. ever felt like you were putting your life in danger? [trigger warning] Yes, it’s called suicidal tendencies. what do you like with your eggs? If scrambled, with cheese. If omelette...stuff that crap up with everything lol. Tomatoes, bell peppers, mushrooms, cheese, ham, bacon, and onions are all good in my book. what remedy do you partake when experiencing the common cold? The good ol’ wait-for-it-to-go-away life hack. would you ever spend a weekend in the mountains in a log cabin? That sounds amazing. I sure would. have you ever been called a psycho? No. have you ever taken martial arts? would you? No but I was always a little envious of my cousin who was taken to taekwondo class every weekend when we were kids. Sure, I’d take classes if I had the chance. who is someone you look up to? Nacho, but he’s gone now. is there something you're anxious about? I have work jitters for tomorrow, but they’re manageable for now. Otherwise I’m feeling pretty good. what is the longest you've gone without sleep? A little above 24. what is the longest you've been on the phone? This makes me cringe now, but it was like 8 hours long or something like that. It was still the ~honeymoon phase of that relationship and we were still clingy. We never did it again after that. do you care about calories? No. do you know someone with a really annoying laugh? Nah, can’t think of anyone. what band do you mostly always listen to no matter what mood? Paramore.  have you ever been to Indianapolis? Nope.
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what type of bread do you like to eat? I eat white bread all the time, but my favorite kind is brioche. do you have any great great grandparents still living? Two greats is a bit too much don’t you think? Lmao. Anyway, my last great-grandparent died in 2010. I never knew my dad’s grandparents, and my great-grandfather on my mom’s side had died all the way back in the 70s. what is one country that you really want to visit someday? India. who usually cooks or what do you usually crave the most? Those are two different questions haha. My parents take turn cooking; and as for my craving, I find myself seeking sushi most of the time. ever been associated in a program that was a complete waste of time? Yep, like that one time I had to attend this 5-hour mandatory program/seminar before my driver’s license could be issued to me; it taught me nothing I didn’t already know about driving, and it used driving tutorials that I’m pretty sure were recorded in the 90s. This seminar took place in 2016. do weird numbers call your phone? Not regularly. Occasionally an unknown number will come in, but I reject all those. where are you right now? Sitting up on my bed. do you tend to care about other people's feelings more than your own? Yes. I really shouldn’t. what type of lifestyle do you want to obtain? if you haven't obtained it [trigger warning] I haven’t even figured out yet if I love life enough to want to stay in it. A type of lifestyle isn’t much of a priority for now. what was something that use to frighten you as a child? Getting lost at the mall. have you ever been on a train? Just once. who's been in your life the longest? did you expect this person to still be around? Apart from family, Angela. Yes, she’s here for the long haul. how do you feel about anatomy? Fascinating. I’d take a class on it. Insert interesting fact here: Read this on Reddit a few days ago, so I’ll just copy-paste the whole thing: “When Jadwiga, the King of Poland (medieval Poland referred to every ruler as King regardless of gender), was considering a marriage proposal from the Grand Duke of Lithuania, a chief concern among her court was that said Duke was rumored to have massive genitals to the point that they would kill his wife on their wedding night. Two of her councilors volunteered to travel to Lithuania to try and discover the truth of these rumors, which naturally meant they would watch the Duke as he bathed. They returned and happily reported that not only weren’t the Duke’s genitals fatally large, they were in fact a tad smaller than average, so nothing to worry about. Thus Poland and Lithuania were united, and the rest is history.” Got a chuckle out of that one when I read it that I just had to scroll through the entire thread again just to be able to share it here lmao.
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