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forasecondtherewedwon · 3 months

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salt-and-vinegar dreams

Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians Pairing: Percy/Annabeth Rating: T Word Count: 1256

Summary: Percy might have an evil, prophesizing grandpa hijacking his dreams, but he also has Annabeth, and she's welcome any time.

Based on Percy’s extensive and up-close experience of bullying and recess dynamics, Camp Half-Blood makes no sense. Sure, if he compares pretty much any aspect of his life among mostly humans to his life here, there are some fairly glaring differences, but this is what stands out:

Out there, a kid who wins a fight becomes the Toughest Kid, and nobody wants to mess with that kid. In here, a kid who wins a fight also becomes the Toughest Kid, but everybody wants to fight them to see how they measure up—even if, instead of pushing another kid down on the playground and kicking sand in their lunch, they clobbered the god of war with a humongous wave. Percy kinda gets it, in a weird way, like he’s kinda getting everything about this, being here, being who he is. But he’s also tired.

He’s tired of dodging Clarisse’s attempts to take her turn at him. He’s tired of turning his last conversation with Luke around and around in his mind until it becomes a whirlpool it’s hard to pull back from. He’s tired of the dreams. Sinister, persistent. Always at the cottage in Montauk, which really pisses Percy off because that’s their place, his and his mom’s, but as soon as things go all dark and foggy, he can’t keep Kronos out. Just once, he’d like to tell that trespassing asshole there’s no welcome mat for a reason, maybe slam the door in the face he keeps hidden under a hood like preserving maximum spookiness when Percy already knows who he is isn’t the lamest thing in either this world or the subbasement the Titans call home. Instead of being stuck in the front room, Percy would like to run deeper into the cottage to grab the baseball bat he knows is somewhere in his room (back of the closet? Under the bed?) and use it to crack that dumb lantern he carries. He’d like to rush Kronos before he reaches the door, keep him outside and chase him around, spraying him with the garden hose.

Yeah, there’s a lot Percy’d like to try. At the top of that list is a good night’s sleep. These new Kronos-flavoured dreams suck; like a watered-down salt and vinegar from the heavy fog. And when he wakes up? Clammy skin from that fog, and the general bitter aftertaste anyone might associate with interacting with their creepy pit-grandpa. Zero out of ten.

So he’s a little worn out.

While everyone else is cramming their final days at camp with hand-to-hand combat—plus other normal stuff kids do for fun—Percy’s getting really into afternoon naps. Oh, that’s supposed to be an old-person thing? Uno reverse, Gramps. He already has the Poseidon cabin to himself, so it’s not hard to find a quiet spot. Even with his shiny-new status as the Ass-Kicker of Ares, the Mount Olympus Backtalker, the Lotus Casino Strip Poker Champ (ok, maybe the rumours are getting out of hand), the other campers don’t usually seek him out here. His guess is that the cabin stood empty so long that it became sorta mythically untouchable. Maybe that makes him the murky algae growing on the glass of the haunted aquarium, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to sleep.

Except one person never hesitates at the threshold. She doesn’t seem to mind the fishermen’s cathedral aesthetic or the unusual light; it spills down through tall, diamond-paned windows and reflects off the lap pool to cast a wavy aurora maris on the ceiling. Annabeth’s not daunted by the creak of suspended skeletons or the lobster traps piled by the door (why?).

She gives him the face that says he’s making a stupid choice which may or may not actually be wrong (she’s still deciding) and asks, “Why aren’t you outside?”

“I’m the demigod version of Superman: I prefer my solitude,” he says, then pauses. “Or, I guess Clark Kent, ’cause I’m not on duty.”

Annabeth frowns.

“Who?”

“Just… this journalist. Doesn’t matter.”

“You felt like being alone?” she somehow translates, sifting through the broken oysters of his words for the pearls.

He looks at her, her head tilt that could be cautious except he knows it’s thoughtful, her steps that miss all the squeaky boards his personal water feature has swollen with damp, the way her straightforward question spreads like a ripple—you felt like being alone alone alone alone?—because her eyes keep asking it after her lips close. Her feet keep walking into his abandoned marine museum, his one-storey lighthouse, his rejected Little Mermaid film set. He looks at her.

“Not… exactly,” he says, liking her here. “I was just gonna try to get some sleep.”

“Would it be alright if I stayed?”

There’s this feeling in Percy’s chest—sore and warped, but warm and still. He’s glad she asked; it means he doesn’t have to. It would’ve come out of his mouth wrong, fumbled and awkward, even though they’ve slept near each other before, basically the whole quest. He nods; it’s alright if she wants to stay. He can’t say he’ll probably be able to sleep better with her watching over him, that, actually, he’s scared a lot of the time, but not so much with her nearby. Even if their eyes are closed and their defenses are down.

Though Percy doesn’t stray from tradition and put his guard up as he lies down on his cot, there’s an awareness of a different nature. Annabeth darts a look at him like she’s suspicious that he’s going to keep watching her, but then she does something kind: she sits at the edge of the pool, right in his line of sight. She has her back to him as she strokes her hand back and forth through the water. Percy rolls onto his back, exhales. He’s not going to fall asleep, but he’s watching the light change on the ceiling, and he’s listening to the gentle waves break against the sides of the pool, and his eyelids are feeling heavy…

The cottage surrounded by darkness.

Kronos with the swaying lantern, the billowing cloak.

Percy: wide-eyed to be suddenly adrift inside his own mind, the cottage a trick.

An ominous message, full of blame, full of a sickening pride, full of ownership and control and—

Do you ever dream about Mom?

The look in his dad’s eyes, and then falling, but falling through light, falling like floating on water.

Percy knows he’s still sleeping—it’s the one similarity between this scene and his seaside encounter with Kronos—because he’s looking down at the lap pool from above. The water’s serene, undisturbed.

When he faces Kronos, does his body give clues? Does he twitch or flinch or groan? Anything that might call Annabeth away from the pool? Because she’s sitting there on his cot, holding his hand while he sleeps. Did he do something to make her scared for him, or is it another thing? A scared-if-you-don’t-feel-this-too thing. Scared if you do. Percy doesn’t know if this is real, but the feeling of wanting it to be is. They’re just… a good team. And if his tired brain was reaching for an antidote to Kronos’s unwelcome invasion of his subconscious, yeah, it coulda done worse than Annabeth’s hand tucked into his, light on her braids casting shadows like sea turtle ribs.

She’s looking at him. Her head tilts, and it could be cautious, wary, unsure.

Except Percy knows it’s thoughtful. She’s always thinking.

Right now, she’s thinking about him.

#my writing #PJatO #Percy Jackson #Annabeth Chase #percabeth #Percy Jackson fic #PJO fic

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iralyn · 8 months

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Mammon’s first reactions of mc

-when mammon received a call randomly from a random caller, he didn’t even know why he picked it up. He already has enough spam calls from modelling agencies and witches who he owed Grimm to.

-as he expected it WAS someone he didn’t know, some random- wait, what did you say about Lucifer?

-Mammon was there in 0.2 seconds.

-another exchange student? Don’t we have enough of those? But, now that he gets a closer look at you… you might not be that bad. Mammon does occasionally hook up with lower demons, and humans are basically the same thing.

-Wait, did Lucifer say he’s supposed to be watching over you? Never mind. He takes back everything he said before. This is going to suck.

-By the way Lucifer was eying him, it was like he was having lasers shot into him. Yeah… he can’t have a one night stand with the exchange student.

-By the first week in he had already formed a pact with you. Don’t ask him, by the time he blinked he had a pact with a human and Goldie in his hands (and that’s all that really matters).

-You weren’t that bad, you stood up for him, let him have any spare change you found, and occasionally went with him to the casino or the clubs. So, he’s officially claimed that he’s your first demon (and vis-versa, you can be his human too)

-Everything was going well- well, until you formed a second pact with Leviathan

-For the demon of greed he sure was showing a lot of envy. But to be fair the time watching TSL in your bedroom was fun! And he’s started sneaking his stuff into your room, and you don’t seem to mind, so…

-A few days after you formed a pact with Levi, Mammon decided it was okay for you to have pacts with his brothers, after all he was the GREAT mammon!

AGGGHHHHH!! I love mammon sooo much! PLEASE give me requests cause i don’t know what to writeee!!

#mammon x mc #obey me #om! mammon #mammon x reader #obey me mammon #mammon #obey me shall we date #obey me brothers #headcanon #obey me headcanons #mammon is amazing #i love mammon #first post

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silentxxsoul · 2 years

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911 thought dump that started way too late and the lady doing the driving test is giving me anxiety

Coincidently this is the first 911 in my new apartment and my routine is so off 😤

We need way more May and Ravi yall. Way. More.

This show is so much better when they have the rescues. That whole sequence was so freaking good man.

Oh god the role playing oh my god oh my god May noooooo I didn’t mean that when I said we need more scenes of you 😂😂😂😂

BuckFacts are back!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤

I find it funny that as a fandom we’ve headcannoned that Buck is good cook and he’s resorted to freezer waffles. I mean, unless Taylor likes that but still funny that the show was like “nah” to him actually cooking. I for one, refuse to accept that as cannon

BOBBY THE FORESHADOWING OF BUDDIE I SEE YOU

THEY WOUND UP IN A RELATIONSHIP

SASSY RAVI 🥺😂

HEN YOU ARE MY FUCKING FAVORITE FOR DROPPING THAT TRUTH BOMB OH MY GOD YESSSSSS

I can’t breathe y’all this ep has me in stitches

I’m glad that Bucks finally standing up for what he needs in a relationship. His needs need to be vocalized as much as his partners and those two are long overdue for some kind of talk. I’m firmly team Buddie but I also want Buck happy and honestly? So far this season he hasn’t seemed that happy with Taylor and I think a lot revolves around what Bobby said earlier. There’s no talking, no communicating.

They kinda just fell into this onscreen and there’s no real trust built up between them. Buck holding back after the hostage, Taylor holding back about her dad. Regardless if they make them endgame I want to see them lay it out and talk, and not just about her backstory but also the future stuff. Kids? 10 year plans? What’s important and where do they want to be in a few years down the line…

Granted that’s asking a lot of two characters out of a very full cast, but I think it’s important for the writers to hit on that next step end am interested to see where this goes.

I love how without hesitation Buck is down to help the people he cares about. He’s always looking to fix people and it sucks to see him get down after that helps being rejected. But I also think Taylor really needs to do this on her own or she’ll never cope with it.

Bobby being a detective is so fun, but he’s missing his buds 😭

Did he really just suggest they rob a casino lmao Robert.

Can I just say I love getting to see the team together? I feel like we hardly got this at all this season.

Also, the fact that the Gen Z showing up Buck by using the mobile app has me cracking up. IRL I’m the only millennial my age that uses that and it’s 100% because I don’t want to deal with the barista-customer interaction where I panic and order the wrong thing.

WAIT are they REALLY doing this role play style? Like BONES RP STYLE 🤣

Oh. Oh no. She found out the day she was supposed to leave 😢

Take the phone number!!! Takeeeee ittttt!!! Let yourself be happy 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

NOT THE HANDCUFFS

I swear to god I never knew Bobby was a kinky mf 💀

God Toni and her boo are so cute

This was a good ep y’all, not the best of the season but it’s like they hit their stride just in time for the midseason break 💀🤡

Hope the continue this momentum into 5B

#911 on fox spoilers #911 on fox

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

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any thoughts on james bond??

Not really a fan and I don’t think that’s gonna change. I don’t have much experience with the character to begin with, I watched the Daniel Craig movies which bored me to death. I watched Goldfinger, which I remembered as being fun the first time I viewed it as a kid, but I find it hard to stand as an adult because Sean Connery was an awful man and oh yeah, that’s also the movie where James Bond rapes someone (I get that it was supposed to be a slap-slap-kiss thing but that is very much not what it’s in the scene). And I read the original Casino Royale novel, which is a must-read largely for it’s importance in pop culture and has some interesting aspects to it but, again, nothing that really got me to seek out the character.

Look, I get why Bond has become this huge cultural institution and the spy of popular fiction ever since his debut, why the 60s was the era of “Bond, Beatles and Batman” and why he’s kinda become the new standard for non-superhero action protagonists. I am extremely fond of that particular style you see in media like The Incredibles and Team Fortress 2, and that style owes a lot of it to the Bond films, hell I just posted above a screencap of Venture Bros, my favorite cartoon series. I’m certainly not gonna knock on popular enjoyment of a morally dubious man of action in a slick suit who charms and shoots his way through problems, after writing my most popular posts on my unabashed worship of Vincenzo.

The things I like the most about Bond’s character in Casino Royale and the Bond of the original novels are largely the ways in which he almost betrays the impossibly competent image he’s been set up with later. I like that he gets picked specifically just because he’s the Service’s best gambler and not because he's the best everythint, I like that he’s uncomfortable with killing and especially the targeted assassinations, I like that he has vices and struggles because of his job. His job kinda forces him to be by default an unfeeling asshole who exploits people, and I think that’s an interesting perspective to develop, even without the context of it being James Bond before “being James Bond is the coolest thing ever” was the driving thesis of the franchise.

Thing is, I never really found any reason to give a damn about anything in Bond, other than enjoyment of the stylistic trappings and absurdities which just get kinda old after a while. I don’t enjoy the titular character or the hordes of largely one-dimensional "Bond Girls”, I don’t think the villains are interesting despite their supposed reputation in pop culture, I don’t get that much enjoyment out of death traps and car chases and gun fights if I don’t have anything at all to care about in the situations. I don’t think characters inspired by Bond tend to be interesting and even Bond parodies have gotten largely old and stale (I do like Johnny English but that’s solely because Rowan Atkinson is my favorite comedian and I’ll watch him in anything, and even then I didn’t even remember there was a third film).

As a kid, the idea of being a secret agent in service of the government has never really been terribly appealing to me, and as an adult it appeals even less. I don’t entirely dislike government agent characters by default, I really like Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks and An Gi-Seok from Vincenzo and agents of fictional organizations like Hellboy’s BRPD and Carmen Sandiego’s ACME, but I can’t shake off the stink of imperialism off my perception of Bond in particular. Again, I know it’s fiction, I know I talk about morally dubious protagonists I love all the time, but it’s the fact that Bond is so closely tied to his role as a government-sponsored murderer, my disdain for real-life governments and secret services being depicted in fiction as a swell and cool thing and not at all what they actually are, and the fact that I do not find Bond at all convincing or interesting enough for me to overlook that and buy into the fantasy, all blends together to make me dislike him.

And yeah, Ian Fleming had utterly wretched views on gender and race and that bleeds a lot into the stories. People knock on pulps for racism and sexism a lot, and it's not undeserved, but even then I’ve seldom read anything in them as appallingbas the kind of shit you get on the Bond novels, and it’s harder to separate those from the character when so much of it is framed as the thoughts and opinions and attitudes of the character to the world around him. I would still not like James Bond even if I could put aside all the racism and sexism, and I very much cannot, but the fact that they are there, atop everything else, atop the character being an actual rapist at worst and his most iconic actor being unabashedly proud of being a wife beater and somehow still remembered fondly as a pop culture badass, and you end up with the one time Alan Moore did a comically grotesque exaggeration of a character in LOEG and I thought “you know what, I acknowledge that this is overblown and stupid and immersion-breaking but fuck it, I can’t blame you for your thoughts on this particular character manifesting with such bile”.

I know there’s good stuff in James Bond novels and films, I know why the character is super iconic and popular, please don’t misconstrue anything I’m saying as me thinking James Bond fans are horrible or something, because I don’t want to get that across at all. But I personally do not like Bond, and I don’t think I have to force myself to when there’s so many other types of characters and even spies that I prefer so much more. I don’t think I’m ever really going to be a Bond fan (I do like Timothy Dalton as an actor though, and if Sam Neil ever got to play Bond like he auditioned for, I probably would have at least some affection for the character since I really like him).

I do like Austin Powers also. A lot of the jokes have aged really poorly and apparently Mike Myers is kind of an ass on set, but I think the concept of the eternally outdated parody spy still works, the films still have pretty funny scenes, and most importantly, he spoofed the concept to death so hard that even Daniel Craig said “Mike Myers fucked us”. Austin sucked out and absorbed all the fun parts of James Bond and then made them so funny and ridiculous that the Bond franchise has never again been able to have too much fun with itself, and if I gave a shit about Bond I would probably dislike that, but I don’t so, you go Austin.

#rambles tag #james bond #austin powers

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diyunho · 4 years

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The Joker x Reader- “The Work Wife” Part 6

You’ve been working for The Joker for the past 10 years: you speak and act for him and no matter the circumstances, Y/N is always there to take care of everything he needs. The King of Gotham might not be married, yet he has a perfect partner: his work wife.

Starts HERE

After 1 Month

The Joker circles the warehouse, inspecting the boxes and crates full of ammo and smuggled goods received with last night’s shipment.

“Hmm…” he eyeballs a decorative vase engraved with gold and silver, wondering if the extravagant object should become part of his collection at The Penthouse. His cell start vibrating and J takes it out of pocket, impatient to hear about his wife’s routine checkup:

“ ‘ello,” he kicks two packages out of the way.

“Hi,” you greet your spouse. “Just got out of my appointment; the doctor said all seems fine. He ordered some lab tests to make sure my blood levels are within the normal range; I should get the results in about 3 days.”

“That’s awesome!” he grumbles while bending over to grab some papers scattered on the floor. “I’m glad you’re ok, I should have come also for moral support.”

Y/N smiles at the confession, choosing not to disclose it makes her happy:

“You have to sort out the cargo; the buyer will be there shortly.”

“Yeah, but this could have waited.”

Your smile gets wider as J fumbles around with several items.

“Tell you what: I’ll finish up some stuff here and I’ll drive to pitch in.”

The King of Gotham wouldn’t normally decline yet he’s actually worried after everything that happened.

“Nope, I want you to rest; you’ve been too active lately and you need to slow down. Why are you giggling?” he smacks his lips, displeased four trunks look like they’ve been tampered with.

“Nothing in particular,” the bubbly Y/N keeps the best for last.

“I’ll see you home; I found something I don’t like,” The Joker grunts as the heavy lid is lifted from one of the containers. “Stay put and relax!” he orders and you nonchalantly drop the bomb:

“Maybe I will,” and after a small pause: “Oh! By the way, I was given green light for sex.”

“ ‘kay, see you in a couple of hours,” J struggles with the box and waits for your long “Byeeeeee” before hanging up. A few seconds into his task and it hits.

“Holy shit!” he exhales and holds his breath, startled. “Jesus!!” he abandons the precious merchandise, running towards the exit. “Froooossst!!!” he gets his henchman’s assistance. “Take over!!”

“Yes sir!” Jonny emerges from one of the SUV’s parked inside, not understanding why his boss is in a hurry. “Anything wrong?”

“No!!! I have a personal emergency!!” The Joker shouts and pushes the heavy metal door to the side, wishing he was already at his destination.

*************

J enters the code on the pin pad and he is granted access into your apartment. He went to The Penthouse first: you weren’t there and he figured you must be on the 29th floor. He storms inside and rushes towards the bedroom when his enthusiasm is abruptly halted by no other than Jonathan Crane coming out of the kitchen.

Scarecrow almost drops the fresh coffee mug you brewed for him; The Clown Prince of Crime was certainly not informed you had company. Doesn’t matter though, he’s not one to be embarrassed by his current situation:

“May I help you Crane?” a high and mighty J sassily blurs out wearing nothing but his birthday suit.

“I doubt it,” Jonathan is quick to respond. “I dropped by to bring you extra ampules of Liquid Dream like you wanted and pain killers refill for Y/N in case she needs more.”

You suddenly pop up from behind Scarecrow, not being able to stop the question:

“Why are you naked?!”

The Joker opens his mouth because he has a cool explanation, yet the guest doesn’t care about it.

“I think I should bail,” he smirks as he passed by J. “I’m taking the cup, I’ll bring it back next time,” he announces and can’t contain a smartass remark: “Nice attire.”

Your husband bitterly growls and as always, you have to be the catalyst for a better outcome:

“Thank you, Jonathan!”

Scarecrow waves without adding extra comments, 100% positive you’ll burst out laughing as soon as he vacates the premises.

And he’s correct.

“Oh my God,” you snicker since you didn’t expect such a funny coincidence to unfold within today’s schedule. “That was hilarious!” the amused Y/N finds herself in The Joker’s arms moments after Jonathan’s departure. “Where are your clothes?!” you kiss him and he yanks at your waist, purring.

“The jacket and shirt in the car, pants and boxers in the elevator,” he admits while guiding you towards the couch in the living room. “The socks and shoes are somewhere on the hallway.”

“I was wondering when you’ll realize about the news I shared,” you whisper in his ear as he takes off your summer dress, aroused.

The two bodies plunge on the sofa, Y/N enjoying the intimacy as much as he does:

“J… … J…” you cling to him when his left hand slips in your bikini.

“Mmm? Does something hurt?” The Joker pecks the tip of your nose, ready to quit if you say yes.

“No… it’s not that,” the seriousness in your voice makes him pay attention.

Maybe you shouldn’t bring up the past in these circumstances; here it comes anyway:

“If the Las Vegas events repeat themselves… I won’t forgive you again,” you stare in his eyes without blinking. “I won’t return… ”

The Joker is silent and you wonder what’s going on in his mind; it’s not a secret he was miserable after being abandoned in the City of Lights due to his despicable conduct.

“They won’t.”

“Are you sure?” the doubt in your tone forces him to reveal:

“I’m sure because it felt horrible when you weren’t around.”

You caress J’s hair and remind him you won’t compromise for less than his total commitment:

“You’re either mine or you’re not, ok?...”

“I’m yours,” he grumbles and it’s not very difficult since the woman asking is no casual fling but the only one he ever wanted to marry for reals. “I want the special treatment,” the immediate request makes you snort: it’s so like him to articulate crap like this in the middle of a serious discussion.

“Do you?!”

“Yes!!” The Joker nibbles on your neck and underlines his affliction: “I’ve been so horny I’m not sure how I still function; I behaved though, I swear!” he’s fast to emphasize while pulling on your bra strap. “You know why?” J throws the question out there, aware the statement will please his wife. “I tolerate you… even if you’ve been nagging me for almost 12 years.”

“Careful,” you admonish. “Uttering such words makes you sound like you’re in love.”

“God forbids! You think so?!” the painful grimace on his face prompts more teasing from your part:

“Yeap, no cure for this terrible disease.”

Your bra ends up on the floor and he’s not content with the epilogue.

“I’m screwed then.”

“Noooot yet,” you wink and his purring intensifies when your teeth sink into his shoulder. “We’re getting there.”

************

Same morning, 11:47am

“There you are!” J exclaims discovering you on the terrace. “You disappeared on me Y/N: I thought you said we’ll have lunch,” the hyper spouse recalls. “What’s wrong?” he frowns seeing you wiping your tears and doesn’t stress the lack of an answer when he notices the ultrasound picture. The Joker quietly sits by you on the swing, kissing your scared cheek in the process. “You ok?”

“U-hum,” you nod. “I wish I didn’t have the miscarriage, you know?...” your bottom lip quivers while placing the image in your robe’s pocket. “I really wanted a baby…”

“My poor old girl…” he sighs and doesn’t expect you to agree.

“I am old!” you keep sobbing and he squeezes you closer to him. “It was probably my last chance to have a child and I blew it!”

The King of Gotham sucks at cheering; he attempts nevertheless:

“Mmmm… You’re supposed to say you’re not old and then I reply that you are old for my standards, which should prompt you to fight back and highlight my standards are crap. Am I to carry on these sort of conversations meant for two by myself now?!” he huffs. “People will think I’m crazy!”

You snort at his monologue and it’s the perfect opportunity to make it clear your opinion is unchanged:

“Your standards are crap!”

“There you are,” the delighted Joker reckons. “I got nervous for a moment,” he chuckles and you elbow him, smiling through tears. “What about we eat something and then we can plan our location for the honeymoon we didn’t get to enjoy?”

J’s plan is working: the little surprise proposition is distracting Y/N and she carefully weighs in his sentences.

“Would you like to elope?” he pushes for a decision and you play with your wedding ring, mumbling:

“I don’t wanna go to Vegas.”

“No Vegas!” he’s fast to consent. “Where to then?”

“Well…” you sniffle, “…what about Reno? We could stay at Solaris Casino; Mark Nessi would accommodate us.”

“He would. If we pack and leave, we can make it there by 7:30-ish pm.”

“You want to leave today?! What about your meetings? You actually have one tomorrow.”

“Meh, Frost can postpone them,” The Joker dismisses your concerns. “I vote we bail and have fun, hm?” he lifts your chin up. “Let’s get the hell out of here, yes?” the impatient Clown wiggles next to you.

“OK…” Y/N elects to grant his plea because escaping town couldn’t have a better timing: it will be nice to spend time together and try to get over the disappointment of his past mistake.

**************

Reno, 8:42pm

You and The Joker are strolling towards the gambling area, excited to have made it here an hour ago. The traffic wasn’t bad and you took turns driving, that’s why you had dinner first and then changed clothes in order to enjoy the night properly.

“I liked the lobster,” you pull at his arm since he’s distrait. “How was your stake?” you seek to chat when he suddenly opens the door to one of the storage closets and shoves you inside. You get trapped against the wall as J claims his special request for the evening.

“I want the special treatment,” he growls and you smirk.

“You didn’t do anything to earn it! This morning I made an exception because it’s been weeks since we had sex. Don’t let my lenience trick you!”

“Don’t nag me!” J cuts you off. “This backless red dress of yours is doing things to me so I want the special treatment,” he slides his arms around your waist.

“Surrounded by shampoo bottles and toilet paper?!”

“It’s quite sexy,” The Joker grins and you compromise a tiny bit:

“I’ll only do the first part! That’s it! I want to go and play poker.”

His face comes close to yours and you start kissing every inch of it, ogling the door instead of paying attention to him.

“You’re not doing it right!” your husband complains. “You’re supposed to look at me!”

You switch your concentration and keep staring in his eyes, abandoning the project when you consider it done.

“Where are you going?” J stops your movement. “Thanks to you I can’t walk now,” he lifts up your short dress and you dodge his touch, opening the door in order to escape.

“Of course you can! Come on, stop sulking,” you drag him out and he follows, bickering at your indifference.

“You’re mean!” The Joker admonishes and you intertwine his fingers with yours, guiding him in the direction of the VIP room.

“No, I’m not,” you defend your actions. “I’ve been around you for so many years that those blue eyes and long lashes don’t have any powers over me,” Y/N teases. “I’m immune.”

“Bullshit!” he mutters and you steal a kiss, inviting him to enter the poker room.

“Do you want to sit by the bar?” you point and J doesn’t oppose the choice. “I’m getting a cocktail. Grape juice?”

“No,” he pouts and makes himself comfortable while you fetch your drink.

“Hello Mister Joker,” one of the dolled-up girls swiftly pops up at the table. “I didn’t see you in forever!”

“I’ve been busy,” he avoids the subject and barks when she tries to collapse on the chair next to his. “This seat’s taken!”

“Oh,” she straightens her back. “By whom?!” the envious Ella inquires.

Did another girl get to him first?! It’s common knowledge he’s generous with his flings and she can’t believe another will cash in the benefits.

“My wife,” he taps his fingers on the table, annoyed the interrogation continues.

“You got married Mister Joker?!” the woman doesn’t hide her astonishment: it’s not that his nuptials were broadcasted on the news. Plus… he’s a very weird man, totally not husband material.

“A few months ago,” he sneers and she’s not smart enough to take the hint.

“Who did you marry Mister Joker?” she giggles, more and more convinced he’s bluffing: The King of Gotham is probably messing around to make her jealous.

“My best friend and main nagger,” J bitterly mentions. “Isn’t this what people do? Marry their best friends?”

“You almost got me Mister Joker,” she laughs at his strange acknowledgement, reassured he’s messing with her: an individual like him would pronounce such nonsense only to initiate flirting.

“Excuse me!” you bump into her on purpose, aware why she’s there. “I got you grape juice on ice,” you place the glass in front of your spouse and he opens his mouth in amazement.

“I was literally about to order this! How did you know I changed my mind?!”

“Best friends know,” you bend to kiss him and J pouts, annoyed you overheard his childish affirmation.

“You have such a cool tattoo on your back!” Ella exclaims. “Is that Japanese?”

Y/N turns in her chair, confused to notice the lady is still standing behind them.

“Yes.”

“What does it say?”

You take a deep breath, fed up by her unwanted presence.

“It says that if you don’t get lost, I’ll make sure your body is never found again! And if it’s eventually found, it surely won’t be identifiable!!”

You reprise your position at the poker table, patiently waiting for the dealer to finish handing out the cards.

“I’m so hot and bothered,” J brushes his lips on yours. “Your attitude begs for my undivided eagerness to peel you out of this dress,” he lustfully glares at your cleavage.“What do you say we leave and have a party on our own? We can play strip poker in the honeymoon suite.”

“We just got here minutes ago,” you fix a rebel strand of hair then whisper: “Table seven, white shirt guy.”

“Do you ever take vacations?” The Joker grinds his teeth, nonchalantly gazing at your suspicious target.

“I like to mix business with pleasure,” you wink and accidentally spill a little bit of your cocktail on his pants. “Oops, pardon me; I assume you have to come with me if you need help stepping out of your wet garment.”

“As that old Arkham report specifies: I need all the help I can get,” The Clown reveals to an amused Y/N, excited she’s receptive to his innuendos.

**************

You emerge from the walk-in closet in your skimpy purple lace attire and The Joker gasps, enticed at the view.

“Oh my God! Com’ere!” he gestures for your company and you crawl in bed, pushing aside the items scattered on the sheets:

“What’s with the shampoo bottles and toilet paper rolls?!”

“I’m attempting to recreate the seductive atmosphere in the storage room, maybe it can convince you to continue the special treatment.”

“You don’t give up, do you?” you scoff and straddle his lap, conflicted if you should grant his wish.

“I usually don’t… Are you gonna help like you promised and take off my pants?” J gropes you and the knock at the door interrupts your answer.

“Room service!”

“Did you order from the menu?” you ask and your husband purrs:

“More champagne.”

“Maybe our new friend has arrived,” you wink, hopping out of bed.

“Why don’t we find out?” The Joker spanks your butt as you cover your body with the bathrobe.

Y/N grabs the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket and hides around the corner while he shouts:

“Come in!”

The waiter pushes in the rolling cart in the middle of the lobby, greeting his grouchy customer:

“Hi Mister Joker, would you like one bottle or two?”

“One!”

You creep beyond him and smash the glass against his skull; the man falls on his knees and you take advantage of his dizziness to switch him face up: it is the guy from table seven!

“Who send you?” you ferociously punch him and he struggles to escape when The King’s gun ends up one inch away from his temple. “Who send you?” Y/N shrieks and she’s so absorbed into her job she can’t discern the mesmerized Joker staring at her. It’s not that he didn’t see you in action before, but it finally clicked:

It sure pays off being married to your work wife!

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: Diyunho.

#the joker x reader #the joker fanfiction #the joker imagine #the joker jared leto #the joker suicide squad #the joker #joker #joker fanfiction #joker jared leto #joker suicide squad #mister j #Mistah J #dc #dcu

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atomicse · 4 years

Note

juliantina au 3 + trope 2 + prompt 34

i didn’t think i would get any of these… but let’s go!

spy!au + enemies to lovers + “i don’t even know why we’re doing this.”

(idk if this is any good [or coherent] but i wrote it at 3am so pls be kind. also i don’t think this is what u wanted anon, but…)

“god, this is so boring, this dude hasn’t done anything all day. i don’t even know why we’re doing this.”

juliana rolls her eyes. of all the people they could’ve paired her with, they had to put her with the obnoxious, trust fund baby. “because it’s our job?” she snarks.

the other girl sends juliana what she probably thinks is a murderous glare, but her bright blue eyes and disney princess aura make her look as intimidating as baby yoda. “i’ve worked with this organization for years, i don’t do stakeouts, i do real, important, shit.”

juliana doesn’t say anything, she won’t even try to fight this petulant little girl.

“whatever.” carvajal huffs. minutes pass without her externalizing her displeasure of the situation, and juliana dares to think that maybe, just maybe, she won’t have to deal with her attitude for the rest of their shared stakeout when, “i can’t believe mr. g put me with you.”

“what is that supposed to mean?” juliana asks with a raised eyebrow.

“we’re like, the worst possible combination he could’ve come up with.“ the brunette shrugs nonchalantly. juliana just stares at her. “you’re like, this angsty loner type, and i’m… i don’t know, the kind of agent that has a sense of humor and isn’t brooding 24/7”, she explains.

juliana can’t help but snort, that’s rich coming from her. she’s never worked side by side with the other agent before, -they’ve actually only ever conversed twice, once when she first joined the organization, and right now-, but it is common knowledge that carvajal has this sort of hero complex, people say she’s always hell bent on saving the day. “aren’t you the one that’s always putting herself at risk just to be the hero or whatever?” she sneers. “i would appreciate it if you dropped your preconceived incorrect ideas about me. you don’t know me.” juliana frowns.

“and i don’t want to” carvajal shakes her head, turning to look at their mark.

“well, i don’t either.”

“fine.”

they both stare out the window, silently waiting for the man on the other side of the street to get into his vehicle. once he does, carvajal turns on the engine and drives off without saying a word.

juliana sighs in the passenger’s seat, she doesn’t understand why the other girl hates her so much.

after following their mark for hours and trying to gather as much information about him as possible, they decide to approach him on his last stop of the day, a stupidly exclusive casino on the most expensive side of town.

they get out of the car and juliana thanks whatever entity is looking out for them because they let them in, no questions asked.

“okay so, i’m going to go explore the place,” juliana says, already seeing lots of people she thinks might be useful to their mission. “you should go with aguayo, maybe you can get some info directly from him.”

carvajal gives her a weird look “why me?”

“because i’m too much of a broody loner, no?” juliana reminds her “and you’re a lot easier on the eyes” she adds after a beat.

“did you just call me pretty?” the brunette smirks.

juliana blushes an embarrassing shade of pink, “shut up, just go.” she throws over her shoulder as she makes what she hopes is a smooth exit.

an hour and a half after their separation, juliana has already scooped out the area in search for any suspicious activity (and downed three shots of tequila). she’s sitting at the bar, half-heartedly conversing with the friendly bartender while waiting for her partner to finish whatever she’s doing to subtly interrogate their mark.

“hello, gorgeous, you havin’ fun?” she hears a voice say to her. when she turns, she finds a disheveled man eyeing her lustfully.

juliana’s stomach churns, the way he’s staring at her is painfully reminiscent of the many times man just like this one would look and treat her and her mom like they only existed for their twisted enjoyment when she was young.

she’s since stopped being afraid, she is the company’s best asset, but for some reason, she finds herself paralyzed while the unknown man reaches to grab at her.

juliana’s alcohol dazed brain is just catching up, coming up with a half-baked plan to simply kick this man’s balls off when a sickenly sweet voice captures their attention. “hey, sir, i think you should go find someone more age appropriate.” her partner smiles at her over the man’s shoulder and juliana has never been more relieved to see that annoying little dimple on the brunette’s cheek. “besides, this one’s spoken for.” carvajal adds cheekily.

juliana feels the blood rush to her cheeks and curses herself for falling victim to the brunette’s charm.

the man smirks as he looks between them, surely imagining a whole lot of disgusting things that make juliana want to go back to her plan of just ending his bloodline. “can i join?” he leers at them.

her partner scowls at him and takes juliana’s hand, swiftly removing them from the situation before it escalates.

“can’t leave you alone for a second, can i, agent valdés?” ugh, of course she has to ruin it just when juliana’s starting to like her.

“whatever.” juliana crosses her arms over her chest. “did you get anything out of him?” she inquires, hoping that the other woman’s charm had worked with aguayo just as much as it seemed to work with her.

carvajal nods happily, “yeah, dude’s a total lightweight!” she laughs, “a couple of shots of mezcal and he was ready to spill all his secrets to me.” juliana snorts, she guesses that carvajal must’ve had her fair share of drinking too, since she’s being so buddy-buddy with her. “i thought narco leaders were… different.” the brunette says pensively.

the woman’s attitude is giving juliana whiplash, before she’d treated her like shit, and now she’d being almost nice. “um, right. did you get any relevant stuff for our investigation?” juliana doesn’t want to be here any longer than necessary.

“yeah, i recorded our entire chat. there’s some juicy shit there.” carvajal shows juliana her phone, a forty-minute audio recording sits on her recently saved files.

“good job.” she awkwardly pats her partner on the back.

carvajal scoffs. “it was better than good and you know it.” she leans down so her and juliana’s faces are dangerously close, “c’mon, v, tell me i was amazing.” she pouts.

damn her and her stupid wide blue eyes and her perfectly shaped lips and- woah, juliana is more than a little buzzed too. “no, ya vámonos, carvajal. we gotta attend the briefing tom-” she starts to ramble when surprisingly strong arms wrap around her waist and soft lips crash into hers.

juliana has kissed people before, of course she has, she’s kissed her fair share of girls, even a few boys during games like spin the bottle or truth or dare when she was in middle school, but no one has ever made her stomach flip like this infuriating woman right here. the way carvajal gently sucks on juliana’s bottom lip makes her brain malfunction.

they kiss for what seems like an eternity, only separating when their lungs demand air.

juliana blinks dazedly at carvajal when she calms herself down enough to hold the other woman’s gaze without jumping her. “what was that?” she asks.

“the creepy dude from before was pissing me off, looked at you like you were a piece of meat” carvajal explains without letting go of juliana “also, you were talking too much” she winks.

juliana process the information for a second. “so…” she trails off “… are we done here?” she asks as casually as she can. the kiss left her a little shaken, she can’t wait until she gets home for a nice hot bath -or a cold shower.

“yeah, just let me go grab a bottle of water. i need to sober up a little in case we bump into el alcoholímetro.” the brunette finally lets go of juliana.

juliana nods dumbly before going after her, she really needs to sober up too.

“thank you for the ride.” juliana says quietly. carvajal had taken her home instead of just dropping her off at the subway station like she had suggested, claiming that she would never let someone take the subway at that hour, even if they annoyed her as much as juliana. (hero complex)

carvajal gives her a dorky thumbs up as she gets out of the car. “night, valdés, don’t let the bed bugs bite!” juliana can’t help but smile back.

this day was so weird; first, being paired with carvajal had been unexpected, second, the other agent had been hostile towards her for no apparent reason, then treated her obnoxiously nicely, and third, she actually kind of liked carvajal, a little bit.

“do you want to… stay the night?” she asks with an amount of courage she didn’t know she was capable of mustering.

carvajal smirks, “are you propositioning me?”

“it’s late, you shouldn’t be out” juliana explains. “and i have a spare room.”

the brunette seems to think it through and juliana scolds herself for offering, you idiot this is none of you business. “sure, yeah.” oh.

“cool. c’mon i- i’ll show you” juliana stutters a half assed explanation of her home’s layout to her partner while said partner just looks at her amusedly.

“relax, valdés” carvajal chuckles. “i’m not going to bite you …unless you want to.”

juliana scoffs, why is she suddenly flirting with her? “didn’t you hate me this morning?”

“i don’t hate anyone, though i did dislike you a little, but i’ve always been a sucker for pretty girls.” she steps into juliana’s personal space.

“i-”

carvajal cuts her off “shut up, valdés, you know exactly why you invited me over.”

then, she joins their lips together, sucking on juliana’s bottom lip like she had an hour ago, and it is just as glorious.

#prompt game #anonymous #asks #juliantina #juliantina fic #yo idk what this is so don't even ask #long post #this is a mess luv

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bassiter2 · 4 years

Text

i hate that there’s so much media romanticizing crime in the literal sense but JUST for straight couples, like a man and a woman can be anything from convenience store robbers to serial killers and if they’re romantically/sexually together while they’re doing it, it’s seen like universally as this thing that’s JUST taboo enough to be titillating and to appeal to the darker urges present in pretty much everyone. the majority consumers eat that shit up as an escape from their boring lives. they LOVE to have a little indulgence in the idea of maybe going on the run and doing some Bad Things with their lover. and if there’s any criticism of it loud enough to reach the widespread audience, it’s just some commentary here and there on the general romanticization of crime but not even in that sense of romantic, and how inaccurate the media portrayals of that lifestyle are.

meanwhile when the same sort of tropes are applied to gay couples, that universal recognition of it simply being a fun escape are gone. the mainstream aka cishet view of it is in fact “oh just gays being immoral like they inherently are.” these characters are VERY rarely protagonists, but even when they get to be, the reaction from a mainstream audience is at BEST fetishistic. and still, even many who are “well-meaning” will conflate the lgbt part of those characters’ identities with the crimes they commit. the genuine appeal of it will be entirely niche, as even a lot of lgbt ppl have nothing but criticism for it ESPECIALLY if it’s in mainstream media because of how it encourages those homophobic beliefs of gay people being immoral.

and they’re not entirely wrong that it can fuel homophobia, but it sucks that WE have to bear the responsibility even when making representation for ourselves to our own tastes. like, if there was a popular film or show where there was a central lgbt romance featuring two characters and those characters were also criminals but definitely framed in the way where you’re 100% supposed to root for them and for their crimes to succeed, YES, certainly there still will be a large portion of the audience that refuses to accept that framing and will still see it in a bad way, but that should be THEIR fault, shouldn’t it? it shouldn’t be MY problem that i could be doing the same exact thing as a cishet and we’d have different moral standards applied to us by the masses.

not to mention the fact that, quite frankly, the current scope of existing lgbt representation is still almost entirely middle/upper class white cis gays. aka people SO very far from the potential of being a victim of the prison cycle or even in general being at the point where breaking the law sometimes is necessary to survive. if any crimes are committed that aren’t portrayed as being moral failings, it’s mainly high-class drug use.

the point being there, there’s clearly plenty of ways to make a gay crime movie where you would literally be creating some MUCH needed representation! and shit, even outside of the kind of crimes that people commit as a lifestyle simply because it’s normalized for them and/or they have no other choice,

if society as a whole can watch heist and mafia films and shows about the people who run drug cartels and crime syndicates, if we can collectively decide that pirates are never ever going to get old and deserve to be protagonists even when they’re killing innocents - fuck, if we can even be made to feel sympathetic for antagonists who should by all means be irredeemable, WHY can we not get more explicitly gay people in that genre? the whole POINT of representation is to show that we’re real people who exist with just as much diversity as everyone else! and that includes that we can be deeply flawed individuals! just like straight people, we should ALSO be able to be everything from the badass thieves who rob a casino that the entire audience rightfully admires, to the genuinely despicable mob boss that you obviously would hate in real life but love as a character bc they’re just FUN.

you can personally dislike the genre all you want, but really, which sounds more reasonable and possible? to make the romantic portrayal of crime stop altogether, or,

....to let gay people do it too?

(also before anyone starts recommending me stuff, yes i have seen i love you phillip morris, bound, oz, ointb, and black sails. other than that feel free to send me recs if you have them but also pls remember that a small handful of movies and shows where gay people get to do crimes and still be protagonists is NOTHING compared to the crossover between the romance and crime genres as a whole)

#anyway be gay do crimes but for REAL pls #mlm #wlw #also this is why i'm trying to write a movie rn where the theme is essentially #'don't call me immoral for being gay. call me immoral for all the ACTUAL immoral stuff i'm doing'

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thebibliomancer · 4 years

Text

Essential Avengers: Avengers #219: ... BY DIVINE RIGHT!

May, 1982

I can just tell that this is going to be a Moondragontastic issue. Call it a hunch. Call it the caption that reads “By divine right, MOONDRAGON commands!” Or call it her enormous cosmic head lurking mastermind like over the action scene.

Who are the Avengers even beating up? Guess I’ll find out.

So previously on Avengers! ... Uh. Well Hank Pym’s life imploded and he wound up in jail. Molecule Man was going to eat Earth and then Tigra told him not to sternly and he changed his mind. Tigra quit the team, alas. And there was that weird filler thing with the immortal child who pratfell into the Sun.

This time, we have a much delayed thing. Back during Shooter’s first run, he had unfinished plans for Moondragon which were supposed to happen sometime after the Korvac Saga. But he had to leave the book because trying to write a title and EIC wasn’t happening.

So now here he is, trying to write a title and EIC at the same time.

Uh. Second time’s the charm?

The story starts with Janet Van Dyne, divorced and Feeling Fine, getting a ‘ducky’ new haircut.

Yeah. It looks decent. Not much like a duck. But who can say why language does anything.

But just as she’s examining her new ‘do, Janet is struck by a sudden irresistible impulse to run out the salon! Run out and flyyyyyyyy!

So not really sure why, she runs out, shrinks down, and flies away.

Unfortunately, her clothes weren’t treated with unstable molecules and the compulsion is strong enough that she shrinks out of her clothes and flies off into the snow naked.

The awkward life of being Janet Van Dyne.

When we eventually establish that of course this is Moondragon, Moondragon is going to have a lot to answer for.

Meanwhile, in Atlantic City, Tony Stark is counting cards and loudly announcing that’s what he’s doing to his lady companion.

I guess when you’re rich as Tony and also have access to a ‘bodyguard’ in a walking weapons platform, casinos don’t get so kneebreaky with you.

But just as Tony bet $50,000 at blackjack, his Tony sense are tingling. Or he’s hit by the same weird compulsion as Wasp, which I’ve just noticed looks like generic store brand spider-sense in how its portrayed.

So Tony gets up and runs, telling his date that the money he has on the table and his cards are hers.

She sits down in his seat, hits on a thirteen, goes over 21 and shrugs “Easy come, easy go!”

Meanwhile, Tony flies out of the casino as Iron Man. He muses to himself that he barely resisted changing into his armor right in front of everyone.

Oh, so I see how it is (Moondragon)! Wasp is in such a hurry that she ditches her clothes but Tony gets to put some more on? I see where your butter is breaded.

Meanwhile again, Captain America is beating up some armed robbers. One of the armed robbers is actually a huge fan.

Armed robber Stu: “SPLIT UP, GUYS! RUN! HE CAN’T GET US ALL -- OOF!”

Armed robber Squid: “Stu, you jerk! He’s Captain America! Of course he can get us all! If I wasn’t a two-time loser, I wouldn’t even bother runnin’!”

But right when Cap is punching a guy, he too feels the SUDDEN COMPULSION!

He gets on his motorcycle and goes.

Leaving mixed feelings amongst the conscious armed robbers.

Armed Robber Eliot: “Hah! We scared him off, Squid!”

Armed Robber Squid: “I -- I can’t believe that! Nothin’ scares Captain America! Durin’ World War II, he took on a whole company of Nazis once and saved my dad’s platoon from an ambush!”

Eliot: “Big deal! That has-been’s runnin’ from us, isn’t he?”

Squid: “He ain’t runnin’! He probably has more important stuff to do, that’s all! And he ain’t a has-been!”

Eliot: “Right, Squid -- ! He’s a coward!” -punched- “OW!”

Squid: “SHADDUP, ELIOT!”

They’re so busy punching each other over whether or not Cap rocks or sucks that they forget to run and are punching each other when the police arrive.

Womp womp.

But hey, people get emotional debating their favorite superheroes. It is understandable.

Meanwhile again again, Jarvis is shoveling snow at Avengers Mansion and bitterly muttering to himself that he talked Tony out of purchasing a snowblower.

Jarvis: “I should have listened to Mr. Stark! I should have purchased a snow-blower as he asked! ‘Nonsense, sir!’ I said! ‘We Jarvises are a hardy breed,’ I said! ‘The expenditure is quite unnecessary,’ I said! Bah!”

Oh, Jarvis. Never talk Tony out of spending money. He has too much of it. He just lost $50,000 gambling like it was nothing.

Anyway, Thor shows up and clears all the snow by just twirling his hammer around super fast. He’s considerate like that.

With his afternoon cleared up, Jarvis invites Thor to join him watching the knickerbockers game on TV. Which is apparently ‘basketball.’

Since Thor’s afternoon is also open, he’s happy to watch sports with Jarvis.

It starts snowing again. Jarvis, not wanting work to pile up, asks Thor if he can control the weather.

And Thor is like ‘yeah but I don’t want to tamper with the natural order too much but hey just this once, I’ll do it for you buddy’ but then the STRANGE COMPULSION LINES ATTACK and Thor flies off, Jarvis wondering if his question offended the thunder god.

Hmm. We really did just have four full pages of the Avengers individually reacting to the same thing.

That’s one way to fill out a script.

I mean, it’s probably padding but the Avengers are all engaged in their own downtime thing, except Cap who is the only one who is punching things at the moment.

And I do like to see the Avengers doing non-action things.

Anyway, the Avengers all end up at a Brooklyn scrapyard where Moondragon’s ship is hovering in wait and finally the Avengers put together the dots.

AH of course! The person that keeps messing with our minds has once again messed with our minds! Is so obvious in hindsight!

Iron Man: “Obviously! Who else would have been so arrogant as to invade our minds and manipulate us like toys -- ? Who else but the self-appointed ‘goddess of the mind’? She ought to be made the 1982 Chutzpah Poster Child for this stunt!”

The spaceship shoots down an elevator beam, which is like a tractor beam but it sounds less rural.

I’m not sure how we all settled on tractor beam anyway. Was it Star Wars? Probably.

So Thor and Iron Man want to march up into that ship and give Moondragon a piece of their minds. Thor would fain confront her for this impudence.

Team Leader Janet Van Dyne says belay. Now that they’re not being STRANGE COMPULSIONED she wants to go home and get some clothes.

She managed to salvage a handkerchief from her purse and tie it around herself in a makeshift costume but you know what’s nice? Underwear, sometimes.

Although, it probably speaks to Janet’s fashion sense that Cap sees her handkerchief costume and sincerely wonders if its her new costume. You just can’t tell with her!

Anyway, it also speaks to how hard the Avengers are to lead because Thor and Iron Man and even Cap all ignore Wasp and march right into the elevator beam.

Its like herding cats!

No wonder Cap was happy to give up the job to her.

Wasp also points out that this is possibly a trap and one of them should have stayed outside and Cap is like ‘oh shit you’re right’ but it is too late for any kind of tactical thinking.

Inside the ship though they find no trap and no body. They poke around the ship but can’t find Moondragon or anybody else.

And then when Cap decides they should leave before the ship takes off, Iron Man discovers that the ship has already taken off.

Its a very smooth ride, they didn’t notice at all.

With the Avengers going off on a begrudging space adventure, a hologram recording of Drax the Destroyer comes on and starts narrating about his life.

How he was made to destroy Thanos and then when someone else destroyed Thanos, Drax was kind of left purposeless so he bummed around space aimlessly for a while before meeting up with his adult daughter who was raised on Titan.

Aka Moondragon.

Hey, I don’t remember if I’ve mentioned it on Drax or Moondragon’s previous appearances but they’re family!

Anyway, Drax recording talks about how with Moondragon’s mind powers she opened his mind and helped him find a purpose in life.

Apparently, uh, “seeking knowledge and the bliss of ultimacy.”

Fun family activities, no doubt.

The two of them came upon a war-torn planet where tens of thousands would die in a single battle.

Hologram Drax: “Move to pity, Moondragon sought to help these beings end their strife using the awesome might of her mind! She succeeded! Peace reigns -- yet, there is danger beyond imagining unfolding here! I realize now, that -- wait! I sense someone drawing near! I must end this quickly, lest I am discovered! Hear me! Only the Avengers can prevent the evil to come! Find them! Bring them to this ship! Quickly!”

And then the hologram cuts out. Creepily.

Huh.

So Drax sent the ship to bring the Avengers to help Moondragon. But Moondragon is the one who STRANGE COMPULSED the Avengers to find the ship.

Which is impressive that she can do that from across light years.

I’ll adjust my personal ranking of how impressive she might be next to Jean Gray.

So the situation is dire enough to send an empty ship but also not time consuming enough that Moondragon can take some time out of her schedule to make the Avengers ditch their activities and go on a spaceship ride.

Kinda mysterious.

Wasp even points out how weird this is.

Iron Man: “The computers were programmed to begin the return flight as soon as the ship’s sensors ascertained that we Avengers were aboard!”

Wasp: “But it doesn’t make sense... I mean, the message sounded like it was meant for anybody who happened to find the ship -- yet, Moondragon obviously made sure we’d find it first!”

By the by, I have a random prog rock playlist playing while I’m working on this post AND I’LL TELL YOU! Random prog rock over random Avengers space adventure really works well together.

Anyway, the Avengers only know that whatever the mysterious threat, it must be great to worry someone of Drax’s power.

The ship drops out of hyperspace above an alien world.

Wasp: “Guys, all this is just beginning to sink in for me! We’re zillions of miles from Earth -- ! A-and we’re about to set foot on an alien world -- and I don’t have a thing to wear! Literally! Except this old tarp I found!”

Being Janet is suffering.

I mean, I see spacesuits in the background of that panel.

And its weird that Moondragon doesn’t have a closet aboard her own ship. Although it’d all be capes and plunging necklines.

HEY WAIT speaking of capes, why doesn’t Thor lend his?

He’ll let some little shit of an immortal child wrap up in his cape but he won’t lend it to his good pal and team leader, Janet Van Wasp??

Grow you some manners, Thor!

Anyway, couture misadventures of Janet van Dyne aside. Time to disembark.

The Avengers take the de-elevator beam down, gazing in wonder at an alien world.

Well, Jan does. The others are kind of blase. Fie and poo on them.

Wasp: “It’s beautiful, b-but so strange! Almost terrifyingly strange! I feel the way I felt the first time I shrunk down to insect size -- my lord, this is a whole, new world!”

Cap: “New world or not, this looks pretty much like the town squares do back home!”

Dammit, Cap! Eat some poetry for your soul!

Iron Man comments that being beamed down from a spaceship in the middle of a shopping day is not a subtle entrance but Thor wouldn’t know subtle if it bit him on his cape.

Thor: “Fie! The god of thunder cares little for subtlety! Would that I’d summoned a raging tempest to herald our arrival! I like this not! Why is there no greeting for us? Are we but serfs, left to wend our own way to--”

Thankfully, Jan cuts off his weird monologue (Thor is being particularly goddish right now) and asks a random shopper to take them to her leader.

The alien starts responding in some alien language but partway through the Avengers can suddenly understand her.

She didn’t start speaking English. She kept speaking her native tongue but the Avengers could suddenly understand it like it were English, almost exactly as if the text in the speech bubbles became English.

Because it did. Its a nice little effect.

But its like someone (probably Moondragon) flipped a switch inside the Avengers’ heads to turn the subtitles on.

The alien shopper points the Avengers towards the “temple of the peace goddess” and they head off to there.

Thor comments that if Moondragon is fiddling with the language settings of their brains, then she must be aware of their arrival.

Moondragon, coming down the stairs and looking fab: “Of course, I am aware of your arrival, Thor! There is precious little in this universe of which the goddess of the mind is not aware! Welcome to Ba-Bani!”

Its actually a really good look for Moondragon. She’s still in green and cape and plunging neckline but the style has changed. Its more sexy priestess than sexy space swimsuit and opera cape.

It goes well with the new role she’s apparently taken on Ba-Bani.

She thanks the Avengers for coming which Thor and Iron Man are only too keen to point out that she didn’t leave them a whole lot of choice.

Wasp again tells them that she’ll handle this and tries to tell Moondragon that she’s the chairwoman of the Avengers now. But Moondragon cuts her off to tell her she already knows.

But also, that her thoughts have been with her in the trying times she’s had of late.

This is a kinder Moondragon compared to the one from #211. Wonder whither the change of heart.

Moondragon: “Sometimes, I wish it were not my lot to see most clearly that which is hidden, Janet! I could not help but be aware of your husband’s tragic downfall and the resultant turmoil in your soul, which you hide so well! I have shared your agony, and his! Greater, though, is my pain, for I see that the tragedy is deeper and more ironic than you yet realize -- and I fear it shall only worsen!”

... This is why people hate psychics.

Janet herself can only hurriedly change the subject in the face of this overly comprehensive sympathy.

Wasp: “Um... Drax’s message sounded urgent! Why don’t we discuss that?”

Hah.

So Moondragon turns on main screen to show a hostile army - consisting of the last of Ba-Bani’s warmongers, cutthroats, mercenaries and ravagers banded together - headed towards the capital city which is the city that they are currently in.

Wasp questions if Moondragon really just dragged them halfway across the universe to quell a local uprising.

Iron Man further points out that UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE moondragon the Avengers don’t make a habit to interfere in the political affairs of others. Plus, why can’t Drax handle this? Or why doesn’t Moondragon just mindzap the bad guys?

Iron Man: “Or do you reserve that treatment for those people you claim are your friends -- like us!”

Zing.

Moondragon takes exception to this. For one, she denies having set herself up as a queen or anything. The people of Ba-Bani rule themselves. She merely quelled the global war through a bit of careful psychic prodding and suggestion among world leaders.

Moondragon: “In a sense, I merely improved communications among the world leaders and removed the need for war!”

Drax: “She has saved countless millions of lives already, Avengers!”

For another thing, the peace is still fragile. She has to maintain a constant rapport with said world leaders and influential people to preserve it.

Even as it relies on a careful, selective touch, she says the effort is staggering and she can’t ALSO psychically smack the invading army.

And point the last, she’s only just convinced him that his purpose in life doesn’t have to be destroying and it would be shitty to throw him at violence again and reawaken his destructive nature.

Thus, the need for outside help.

If the Avengers can’t or won’t stop the army, the global bloodshed may reignite and Moondragon won’t be able to stop it again. MILLIONS WILL DIE!

So since Wasp is the chairperson, it falls to her to decide what to do.

And I can’t help but notice that when it comes time to decide whether to intervene in a very foreign extraterrestial conflict, Iron Man finally defers to her instead of her having to yank him back from whatever impulsive thing he wants to do.

Being leader of the Avengers has gotta suck.

Anyway, Wasp decides they’ll stop the immediate threat to the city but after that... well.... they’ll see.

But its a decision Wasp feels weird about because her head is all weird, like her mind is in a fog. She’s sure there were some follow-up questions she wanted to ask Moondragon that she can’t remember anymore.

I’m sure that forgetting what you wanted to ask a psychic is a coincidence and forebodes nothing.

She’s probably just tired.

Scene cut to the aggressive army of aggressors peering at the horizon going ‘hey are those missiles? Can’t be, the peace goddess told them to abandon weapons.’

SURPRISE, ITS THE AVENGERS

Surprise to them, anyway. If I paused long enough to let you guess, I’m sure you would have guessed the Avengers.

Anyway. I’m pretty sure Wasp is still wearing the handkerchief, although she has managed to tailor it to being less obviously makeshift.

I was about to complain that they didn’t stop and let her get some clothes but. I mean, what are the odds that the local shop contains either clothing her size or clothing that can change size?

Anyway, Wasp still feels weird about the decision to get involved.

Wasp: “I can’t stop wondering whether or not we’re doing the right thing! Moony says she isn’t ruling this planet, yet, she is controlling the destinies of these people! Isn’t that the same thing? I-I’m so confused!”

But since the army does have guns and they are out for blood, she doesn’t have any hesitation to beat them up a little.

Some decent Wasp action, too.

And it’s not just Wasp who has misgivings.

Iron Man also has his doubts, as he picks up a guy in each hand and slams them together.

Iron Man: “I can’t help feeling sorry for these guys! They’re the underdogs! Something’s eating at me about what we’re doing here, but for the life of me -- I can’t quite put my finger on it!”

Cap too. In a specifically Cap way.

Cap: “These rebels are fighting for freedom -- but what they want is the freedom to make war! We’ve got to stop them -- I know that! Still, for some reason, my instinct are screaming that we shouldn’t!”

The only Avenger who isn’t having doubts is (by process of elimination) Thor who is throwing tanks around and doing his best divine smack talk.

Thor: “Beware, base scoundrels -- lest the wrath of the thunder god destroy thee!”

Anyway, misgivings aside, the Avengers aren’t having much trouble actually beating up this army. For the last of the warmongers, they’re not much of a match for a super-soldier, a guy in power armor, an actual god of actual thunder, and Janet goddamn van Dyne.

Like Iron Man said, the evil invading army just feels like the underdogs here.

From a distance, Drax spectates the battle. And notices a pair of rebels closing on Cap from behind. They’re planning to shoot Cap in the back and hopefully that act will let them rally the army against the remaining Avengers.

Drax realizes he could stop them. Or warn Cap. But he feels a strange contentment to just watch.

This must be what being Uatu is like.

The two rebels shoot Cap off his sky-sled. He barely managed to get his shield up to protect himself.

While Iron Man catches Cap from a fateful plummet, Wasp goes after the two who attacked Cap.

Wasp: “Hey! You on the sled -- ! I’m an Avenger, and I don’t think what you did was nice or fair, so I’m avenging it! So there!”

Hey! The team name has a meaning! You did it, Wasp! You named the team Avengers because it sounded cool and then you finally did some avenging 218 (plus annuals and crossovers) later!

Proud of you.

Anyway, Thor catches the two rebels from their own fateful plummet, declaring that they don’t deserve the honor of death in combat.

Then while sort of waving the two like visual aids at the army, Thor demands they surrender.

Thor: “Hear me, armies of the rebellion! Your leaders are my captives! Your cause is doomed! Lay down your arms -- now! I will warn you but this once!”

Army Guy: “We are undone!”

Another Guy: “We surrender!”

Soon, the Avengers return to the capital city, Thor carrying the apparent rebel leaders on a random piece of debris.

Moondragon thanks the Avengers for what they did. She also asks that the Avengers turn the rebel ringleaders over to the city’s civil authority so that they may, in time, be rehabilitated.

She also mentions that Drax has alerted the city’s police to take the other rebels into custody and to destroy their surrendered weapons.

And then she tries to hurry the Avengers along.

Moondragon: “Then, truly, it is over! You have done a magnificent and noble labor this day, Avengers! Father, please make ready my ship! They must be anxious to return to Earth!”

Cap interjects saying that they’d prefer to stay a day or two to take in the sights.

Wasp grouses at Cap speaking for the Avengers. Dangit, she’s supposed to speak for the Avengers!

With but an ellipses of hesitation, Moondragon agrees that the world is new to the Avengers and there’s a lot of stuff for them to see. And says that they’ll leave tomorrow instead.

Nice try, Moondragon. There’s five pages of plot left. Can’t wrap up early.

So then we have a twelve hour timeskip so the Avengers can nap and shower and its off to explore an alien world! With tour guide Drax!

The first thing they learn is that its never nighttime on Ba-Bani! I don’t know if thats a multiple suns thing or an orbit thing but its always daytime.

Janet does not approve.

Anyway, Thor ditches the group because he’s seen a lot of worlds and it just doesn’t interest him. He’s going to find something else to do.

And then the Avengers split up.

Cap wants to mix with the people a bit and Wasp wants to not wear a tarp so they’re headed to the market.

Iron Man spotted some high tech factories and dangit if he doesn’t love industry so he’s going to have Drax take him through one.

And then we skip ahead another hour. Which is a fairly reasonable amount of time to shop, probably.

Janet has obtained Actual Clothes That Aren’t A Tarp.

And because her money is no good here, even if she had any on her, she told the tailor to bill it to Moondragon.

Which is funny for at least two reasons.

The first of which is that I always find it funny when anyone on the Avengers foists their bills on someone else. The second of which will make sense when I cover next issue.

Anyway, mentioning Moondragon makes Cap remember that he wanted to bring her up. His thoughts have been so muddled about it but that’s the real reason why he wanted to stay longer.

Wasp: “Because you suspect that she’s manipulating us -- ? Because you think things aren’t quite kosher here on Ba-Bani? I was a bit slower on the uptake than you, but... I agree! Let’s just nose around a little, shall we?”

She’s not. Unsuspicious.

Cap even has a good idea where to start looking and takes Wasp on the sky-sled to the site of the battle from earlier.

Some guards or police or something have the area blocked off and tell the Avengers that nobody is to enter the area. Especially not the outworlders.

But since these guards aren’t armed thanks to Moondragon’s sensible gun control policies, Wasp tells them to screw off and Cap just flies around them.

Cap hopes to find an escaped rebel and ask them about their cause or maybe examine their abandoned equipment.

It’d take a long, exhaustive investigation to piece things together that way but it’ll be worth doing.

But he doesn’t have to.

Because when Cap and Wasp arrive at the battlefield, they find that two of the workers working to clear up debris are the rebel leaders from earlier.

Convenient!

Wasp: “Pardon me, fellas, but, did you, um, by any chance lead a rebellion yesterday?”

Rebel Leader: “What? Oh, that! Yes! I can’t understand what got into me! I was tending my shop in the city, when suddenly I felt compelled to seize a weapon and come out here! Thousands of others were similarly, mysteriously compelled! Out of the blue, my friend, here, and I became obsessed with the idea of leading this impromptu army in an attack upon the city! Thank the goddess you stopped us!”

So. Yeah.

Where have we heard SUDDEN COMPULSION before as a thing that makes people do things?

I mean, this isn’t exactly subtle.

Moondragon forced an army to form and then had the Avengers beat them up.

The plot thickens.

Meanwhile, Drax takes Iron Man on a tour of a communications center. Ba-Bani has low-orbit anti-grav satellites in the sky for communications and for monitoring the city and its surrounding environs.

Every public event is recorded. For historical and legal matters, surely.

You ever see a villain somehow monitoring something and thought ‘wait how did they have a camera there?’ WELL BA-BANI HAS YOU COVERED!

THEY HAVE EVERYTHING MONITORED!

For example, Iron Man punches up a video of the battle from yesterday and specifically to the moment when Cap was ambushed.

Iron Man: “Say... I hadn’t realized how close you were to us, Drax! You were right on top of us! You must have seen the ambush developing! Why didn’t you do something -- or even just yell ‘look out!’”

Drax: “I -- I don’t know...”

Iron Man: “I can’t believe you just stood there watching while Cap was almost cut in half! Drax, we’ve been in scrapes together before -- that isn’t like you! What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

Drax: “Nothing! Nothing! I am fine!”

The hallmark of someone truly fine, shouting that they are fine.

Or just saying that they are fine.

Does ‘I’m fine’ even mean what its definition meaning means anymore? Does anyone use it sincerely?

Anyway, Iron Man decides that ‘I’m fine’ means ‘I’m not fine’ and that Moondragon has been messing with his head.

And by ‘his’ I could mean either Drax or Iron Man. Because Iron Man has felt his thoughts muddled lately too.

Its a bit of a trend.

But Drax refuses to believe it. Shouting that its not true; his daughter wouldn’t do that.

While one of the people manning the communications center just kind of stares at this argument.

Because. It does sort of draw attention. Drax is making all kinds of dramatic poses and Iron Man marched over to grab him by the shoulders.

(I think communication console woman is wikipediaing Drax because pictures of him are showing up on all the consoles)

Iron Man: “You ‘know’ what she wants you to know! She controls thoughts! How can anyone really be certain whether he’s thinking what he wants -- or what she wants? She can make us think, say, or do anything, and we wouldn’t even realize it! Even this could be her manipulating us -- but I don’t think so! I know there’s a limit to her power! She can’t have her attention everywhere at once! Pray it’s mostly elsewhere for now and listen to me while we have a chance!”

So maybe Moondragon is distracted and that’s why Iron Man is coherent enough to have this conversation. But what could she be distracted by?

Well, scene change to the temple of Moondragon and Thor arriving at it.

Moondragon: “Thor! I had hoped you might come!”

Thor: “Spare me your guile, woman! You knew I would come -- for ‘twas you did plant this ‘whim’ in my mind, was it not?”

Moondragon: “Yes... it was!”

Thor: “You are less subtle than I’d imagined, woman!”

Moondragon: “Deliberately! You are a god, Thor! I need practice no subtlety upon you!”

Thor accuses her of having taken total control of this world and to Thor, Moondragon admits it.

But she has a good excuse.

Moondragon: “Behold, Thor! This city is alive -- ! Fresh with gardens and music and the laughter of children! When I came here it was a blood-soaked battleground! I brought peace to Ba-Bani! I made this! Have I done wrong?”

Its a tough question. Because psychic mind control isn’t really real and moral philosophy is also probably made up.

On some level, a society is going to put restrictions on people for their own good. Like seat belt laws or food safety standards. But on the other hand, Moondragon is controlling people’s thoughts.

Is it right to do that for a good cause?

(X-Men sure as hell hopes so with all the psychics running around in those books. Sheesh.)

But Drax did not think it was right.

Per the hologram recording and also Moondragon’s confession here, Drax sent the ship to get the Avengers. She wasn’t able to stop it so she expedited the Avengers finding it so it seemed like she was in on it.

Then she staged a fake revolution for the Avengers to crush so they could leave satisfied that they had done a thing.

She also put Drax under her strict control after he sent the ship.

Moondragon: “There! You know now the sum of my ‘guile,’ Thor! I’m relieved to be confessed, for gods should have no secrets between them! We should be closer... It is the role of gods to set aright the paths of lesser beings! ‘Twas ever thus! My labor is difficult... and lonely! I need your help... and your comforting touch...”

Thor: “Moondragon... it is not good to tamper overmuch with the natural course of things...”

Moondragon: “But this once -- ? For my sake...”

Thor: “For... your... sake...”

Moondragon: “Love me, son of Odin! Be thou mine!”

Thor: “Aye... thine...”

Dammit, Moondragon! If you’re using mind control to make Thor love you, don’t be doing that! It happens to him far too much!

Every damn enchantress on Asgard for one!

So on the one hand, Wasp, Cap, and Iron Man are wise to Moondragon’s shit now.

On the other hand, Thor seems to have been seduced to her corner.

And on the third, ambiguous hand, Drax who seems like maybe he’s on the fence. Maybe Iron Man just needs to shake him some more.

Next time sure is going to be some kind of WAR AGAINST THE GODS!

According to the big pink words, anyway.

Hey. Psst. There’s a SUDDEN COMPULSION to follow @essential-avengers and to like and reblog this post. Weird, huh? Maybe if you listen to that SUDDEN COMPULSION you’ll get to go on a space ride to space. No promises.

#Avengers #Moondragon #drax the destroyer #the Wasp #Iron Man #Captain America #Thor #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #SUDDEN COMPULSIONS #a free spaceship ride #Wasp has clothing mishaps #but makes do #moondragon has a new better look #the job market for former violent rebels is pretty good

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watchingninjago-archive · 5 years

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Season 3, Episode 1 - The Surge

Ah, good old S3. The one that I continually bring up as the first season Zane dies in, because a) the writers seem to love killing him, b) can the writers not do that that is incredibly rude

Well, that happens in the finale. I’ll let my dread build up for the occasion, then. Until then, we’ve got a good season to get through.

[22:10] oh what the hell!!! new intro!!!

[21:49] that fucking slaps

[21:39] The ultimate battle… where Lloyd got eaten by a dragon and then had the magical energy dragon he was riding explode the dragon he was eaten by.

[21:19] Huh. Looks like the “wait this is lego who gave them the right to be this dramatic” part of me finally kicked in. But man, that’s gotta suck for them to rebuild.

[21:09] Oh hi, dude in a wheelchair. That looks a bit… precarious.

[20:59] Wait, why New Ninjago City? That New ____ bit applies generally when it’s a seperate city or location, but named after an older city or location, like New York, New Mexico, New Zealand (Zeeland), etc. If you’re just rebuilding, it doesn’t make sense to add that, as it’s still the same city. Ninjago City was badly damaged by the earthquakes, but it wasn’t to the point of having to start completely over, right?

[20:57] Hovercar! --- wait. What’s the timespan for this?

[20:57] Huh. The ninja can move on with their lives for now, at least.

[20:42] Okay, we’re now watching Jay sneak up on somebody singing in the shower.

[20:39] Hi, Kai!

[20:35] Huh? What’s going on?

[20:33] Kai’s a teacher! Neat. And you can have hovercars, but god forbid we use a whiteboard.

[20:26] Zane and Cole are also teachers! And… and what do you mean on the friiiiiehwHY IS HE GLITCHING OUT

[20:18] Jeez! Not cool, kids!

...god i want to see a tacky poster explaining to the kids not to remote control the teachers please and thank you

[20:13] Ah. The wonders of education.

[20:03] I am going to fight a kid again.

[19:55] Oh! Sensei Wu took over Darkly’s!

[19:51] Jay’s a teacher too! I guess that just leaves Lloyd, Nya and Garmadon as characters who’d be majorly impacted by the end of the Age Of Ninja unaccounted for. I’m assuming Misako’s off doing research or something.

[19:57] your fave is problematic: cole steals his co-workers’ food from the fridge

[19:41] Oi. Where can I get that giant tea making machine?

But like… yeah. The ninja excl. Lloyd are like… adults. Maybe acting a bit like teens from time to time because kids show but… they’re adults with jobs and crap. That’s a very weird thought.

[19:33] Man, I love me them group dynamics

[19:22] Well, Lloyd’s doing a bit of award receiving, it seems.

[19:15] Nya’s a teacher too! So I guess that leaves Garmadon unaccounted for.

[19:06] Huh. That’s… not a good sign for Jaya this season. I’m a fan of Jaya so that’s, I dunno. Disappointing.

[19:00] Man, they’re either still in the Constant Threat mindset or are just really desperate to let loose on SOMETHING. Considering the kids they have to teach… it could be either.

[18:48] Aaaw! Jay’s geeking out about Borg Industries.

[18:45] Also the camera’s… really spinning. Really wants me to get that vertigo experience.

[18:42] Zane just snapped and kicked Jay in the leg. DJdfngjd

[18:34] Oh, look at you, Kai. Being all… cynical. I mean, you don’t really have a lot of past to go off of, y’know? The world was only made like… three generations ago. And also somehow a few thousand years ago…. What even is this timeline?

[18:30] Welp.

[18:24] Also, if you took the field trip on a dragon you do run into a lot of safety risks.

[18:20] god he’s desperately trying to be One Of The Kids… Cole this is the one time you’re not an eternal mood but I forgive you

[18:16] Also, Nya in the bg smiling at first but then just… dying inside

[18:15] oof

[18:07] But like… huh. I’m guessing it’s been a while since the events of S2. Logically in real life it’d be up to maybe a decade between seasons, but more likely it’d be a year or two at most, which is still a while.

[17:49] Man. NNC looks pretty cool.

[17:31] Well, I’m sorry sir, we can’t all have hovercars!

[17:29] Wait! It’s the postie. Man, that guy’s seen some crap.

[17:20] Cole remains just… frighteningly buff. I’m scared that if I shook his hand it’d break mine.

[17:09] (Wu) “Besides, it’s not like we can’t find where we’re going.” YOU SURE? Because I’ve gotten lost sometimes trying to find certain entertainment slash casino slash hotel complexes that will remain unnamed and it takes up like half of the Yarra in the city

[17:07] Okay, nevermind. That’s definitely like a beacon among the hills.

[17:04] Like… it’s very tall.

[16:59] ouch

[16:54] PIXAL???? I’VE HEARD OF YOU AND I LOVE YOU ALREADY

[16:42] Oh my god her voice is so relaxing though??? Like robotic, certainly, but not at all like jarring? Is that a weird thing to say?

[16:36] (Pixal) “What does ‘Zane’ stand for?” That’s just his name, m’am

[16:33] I mean, I hear Pixane is a thing that happens here? And I can understand the relationship part being rushed (god that is gonna be painful huh) but if I see Zane having a crush on Pixal I don’t really care. I don’t like how crushes usually somehow mean We’re Gonna Hook Up Soon but to be honest I don’t even have any form of romantic attraction, am human, and am having a bit of a crush on Pixal right now. He can do whatever, man.

[16:25] Welp! But goddammit, if it sets off my romantic repulsion I’m going to fight my brain, it’s! in! his! rights! to! crush! on! Pixal! Goddammit brain let me have fun here

[16:20] wait wait wait I just… man only in Lego can Pixal get away with having half her chest exposed.

[16:12] Okay I realise what I just said about Zane having a crush on Pixal but c’mon this is getting creepy what she’s on about now. NNC is reading more and more like a dystopia by the second when you think about it. Everything is connected. It’s being fed to Borg Industries. If BI isn’t doing good then what the hell would this mean?

[16:05] I- I. I mean, what DOES power him?

[15:36] WaaaAIIIIT. THIS ISN’T GOOD.

[15:16] Wait. Is this licensed? Also fucking… video games…

[15:05] “They have a Perfect Match console!” nsddhgiufsjd like that one Choices game? Also I heard we’re having a love triangle somewhere but this soon? What the hell, writers?

[15:00] UHHHH WHAT THE HELL. GODDAMMIT WE ARE NOT DOING SOME SORT OF AUTOMATED SOULMATE CRAP GET THAT SHIT OUT OF HERE.

[14:54] THIS IS CREEPY AS HELL… IS THIS SUPPOSED TO ALL BE *GOOD?*

[14:53] No. No, we are NOT doing this.

[14:50] I am going… to go commit... murder. None of you can stop me.

I am going to die before I get through this episode, jesus christ, let’s continue,

[14:49] PLEASE. MAKE IT STOP.

[14:47] WHHHHHY!!!!!

Usually I avoid anything with any romance in it like the plague (which is 99% of YA fiction aka stuff in my demographic) let alone LOVE TRIANGLES and now I’m seeing why Terrible Writing Advice has it as a running gag! If you’re not familiar with the channel, it’s exactly as labelled. It’s an author giving you advice on what NOT TO DO as stuff to do (but blatantly the first category). A running gag is that The Love Triangle Is Awful Author JP Fixall, which indicates how much the real JP hates them.

[14:44] (everyone gasps almost horrified at the results) THAT’S HOW I’VE BEEN FEELING FOR THE PAST HALF AN HOUR YOU GOOF! THIS IS A TEN SECOND SEQUENCE.

[14:42] WeLPPP WE HAVE TO DO THIS SHIT THEN

[14:34] Hey, Mr. Borg! So about that matchmaking machine you have in the video game floor downstairs… can we talk about that?

[14:32] Oh my god, I can’t even enjoy the episode because of the stupid love triangle I’m dreading.

[14:22] djdjdjd he really had to call out his parents for naming him that

[14:20] Why are you all acting so shocked? That looks cool as shit.

[14:07] UMMMMMM????? I’M SORRY WHAT

[14:01] Holy shit, um… they just killed him. They killed Zane’s dad between seasons, jesus christ.

[13:38] Man, but like. Huh.

[13:27] (Cyrus) “I’m glad it’s just you four.” UHHH

[13:15] It’s… a statue?

[13:11] (Kai) “Oh wow. It’s a statue. Of yourself.” I’m telling you that!

[13:04] UHHHH CYRUS? CYRUS YOU’RE JUST GONNA WHISPER IN KAI’S EAR ABOUT HOW HE NEEDS TO PROTECT THE OTHER NINJA FOR NINJAGO’S SAKE AND JUST… LEAVE IT THERE

[13:01] Oh, well, “them”, but I assumed it was the ninja based on context. Whatever it is.

[12:53] What the fuck is going on?

[12:22] Wait, since when did Kai hate technology? Was that something else from the pilot episodes? And… whelp, it’s broken.

[12:15] Ooooh. This isn’t good.

[11:53] Whelp! Time to protect them blades!

[11:49] OUCH

[11:19] And this is why you don’t build over where the Overlord was defeated, presumably. It curses the damn place.

[11:01] Man… those are some angry machinery.

[10:57] JESUS CHRIST THEM TOO??? PIXAL??? GUYS YOU’VE GOT KIDS WITH YOU

[10:23] Christ, why were they even allowed in there? This is a massive WorkSafe violation.

[10:13] God, I love the new technology based aesthetics we’re getting here though. I will confess, I love me them tech. I don’t really have the brains for it, but I wouldn’t deny it being cool as shit.

[10:10] Well! Let’s do this!

[10:06] Also, as always, the soundtrack slaps.

[9:51] And the music’s been updated to fit the technology theme of the season! In the previous two seasons, we got a lot of the classic Cinematic Orchestra (probably not the name but still). Now we’re doing a more techno beat… kind of thing

[9:48] (Zane) “It’s not sharp! Why even call it a blAde?”

[9:37] And thus continues the long tradition of the ninja almost falling to their deaths.

[9:29] Ow.

[9:27] Man, you really should find a stop to your fall soon.

[9:23] Conveniently placed … what do you call em

[9:16] Well!!!

[9:05] The Overlord’s back.

[8:52] Oh. Oh no.

[8:43] (laughs nervously) what the fuck?

[8:31] Man, this is really just going downhill. I knew there was something severely off with NNC!

[8:26] thROw mE!

[8:17] HELL YEAH!!!

[8:10] Oh! Hell yeah! Vehicles!

[7:47] Welp!

[7:28] Pixal what the hell

[6:47] Hell yeah!!!! Also, goddammit I CALLED IT NNC WAS REALLY OFF

[6:26] Man! You’re really ready to go kick some ass, huh? I literally cannot blame you.

[5:25] Wow! This is actually really wild and I’m really into it.

[4:47] So! New vehicles! Mainly to sell merch but man is this a fun way of doing it!

[4:10] god i love this show!

[3:30] uhhh what just happened

[3:26] Lloyd! thank you!

[3:20] And now they’re group hugging him!

[3:16] Shiiit. That goddamn Overlord.

[2:42] Alright! Let’s see what happens now!

[1:43] Oh!!! I guess the technoblades are with the ninja! This was just a false flag.

[1:30] OOOOH. IT WASN’T.

[0:52] god like… to Lloyd, all of the other ninja are the Dad Friend like… stop collecting dads Lloyd. you’ve got too many. put a few back.

[0:49] Oh god. Cyrus.

[0:38] OH NO

[0:26] Kids show! Now with 80% more body horror and 70% more useless romantic subplots!

#ninjago #jaime sobs over ninjago season 3 #the surge

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todaysbiggesthits · 4 years

Text

The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2019

BC: Three straight hours of this

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in my Chapman Ryder Cup match with Code -The Robert M. Chennault Playlist in my Ryder Cup match with Laser -Vampire Weekend's "M79" with Parks and Rec theme interlude in Pawnee Peytonville with my babe -Late night music game with JD and Chaps this Fall -My kids competing for best air guitar solo to Daft Punk's "Digital Love" -The Stones soundtracking Raceday morning with Counterfeit Kenny and the Kennel Boys

Codem: -Picking up the keys after closing on #our house and listening to Arden's dreams for the pad while listening to the songs that brought us together in the first place. -Perched in the balcony of Park West watching Chromatics live and in person. -The Chapman format playlist that Brendon and I put together. It was just one song on repeat. Xtal - Aphex Twin -Plugging in my klipsch's for the first time in the new house to listen to elliott smith on the day of his death. the sound of his discography wafting throughout the whole house was a true delight.

Bronco: My 6-year-old discovering Green Day. My 9-year-old discovering Metallica. Both discoveries have awakened something in them that is hilarious and awesome to behold. And seeing Tool was pretty flaming awesome.

JD: March: Realizing I’d never heard this Stones song, nodding along to the opening riff, and exploding into my biggest laugh of the year at the first line.

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June: The Joni Mitchell performance in the Rolling Thunder Review documentary on Netflix. June: Catching the Thom Yorke Anima short film at the IMAX theater on the Upper West Side. July: Code and I getting a perfect 99 score on the greatest rendition of “Emotional Rescue” karaoke you’ll ever see. October: Playing the music game WAY too deep into the night with BC and Chap (look for the next day’s hangover on my worst moments list).

Chap: Patrick Stickles singing "I'm sorry dad no I'm not making this up" to his dad in the audience.

Nasty: Listening to music at BOB. Nothing but jams that whole weekend. Driving in with Laser - GOOGLE MUSIC JAMS. Trip to the casino - JAMS. Hanging out on the deck - JAMS. Driving to the course with Blazer Black - Fuck Buttons - Sweet Love for Planet Earth aka JAMS. In the cart with Code - JAMS. Driving Chappy and Sfreddo to the rental car - JAMS (but quietly).

Larse: Greta Thunberg speech dubbed to metal

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Best Shows Seent in 2019

Nasty: The Killers @ Summerfest. Hot Fuss will always be an all-time favorite album and Mr. Brightside is the best pop song of our lifetime, IMO. Also, my wife loves them which is about the only band in middle of the venn diagram.

Larse: The Lonely Island at Summerfest

BC: Dead & Company

JD: 1. The Rapture at Music Hall of Williamsburg 2. Viagra Boys at Bowery Ballroom 3. The Strokes and Parkay Boys at the All Points East fest in London with drunk lads screaming along to the guitar parts 4. B Boys at Union Pool 5. Titus Andronicus at Bowery Ballroom 6. Avey Tare at Market Hotel 7. Tame Impala at MSG 8. Weeping Icon at Elsewhere 9. Priests at Elsewhere

Code: interpol - chicago theater illuminati hotties - hideout it looks sad - subT downstairs robyn - riviera steve malkmus - art institute eleventh dream day - hideout colleen green - sleeping village swearin' - lincoln hall surf curse - subT shura - the bottle

Chap: TA was the only show I saw. It was great!

Bronco: All of them. They were each great in their own way. Aside from Tool I was able to interact with the band members at each of the shows. One I didn't have a ticket for and scored one at the door. One was in the tiniest venue I've seen a show at. One had a surprisingly entertaining opening act. And Tool surprised me with how much I enjoyed an arena show despite being so far away I couldn't see the facial features of the band members. And there was SOOOOOOO much weed being smoked in the Garden that night. And I was with a few good buddies. And I was able to sell my fourth ticket for twice what I paid, simulatenously covering me and my fourth friend who had to bail because his life sucks because his wife sucks.

Confession of 2019

Nasty: I consume more music at my cushy, suburban OrangeTheory workout classes than in my own free time. S/O to Coach Vanessa for having some Girl Talk on her playlists.

Codem: i had more fun listening to stuff that i already knew about than stuff that was coming out.

BC: I saw a Yacht Rock cover band and didn't hate it -I succumbed to social pressure and saw DMB -I didn't realize until the last minute that my favorite album was released in 2018 (Wild Nothing). Removing it greatly reduced my loyalty to my list.

Bronco: I'm losing my edge. I enjoyed way more lady singer bands this year than in any other year.

Chap: Couldn't get my shit together on the tracks list so just posted a random playlist

Larse: Not really a confession but more of a TIL (today I learned), but Raphael Saadiq was an original member of Tony! Toni! Tone!

Biggest Disappointment of 2019

Bin: The National @ Summerfest. From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel "the frontman was completely detached, even confessing at one point that he was excited to get back home to his family. The result was an incredibly depressing show — which, given the band's dour songs, is really saying something." ... Huge Bummer.

BC: Didn't see nearly enough shows with nearly enough of yous

Chap: Sturgill Simpson... unlistenable!

Bronco: Baroness.

Laser: Modest Mouse opening for The Black Keys

Code: i was really messed up by dave berman's passing. i had tickets to see him play at the end of august. it was going to be my first catching him live and in concert. i had waited for this moment since i picked up american water back in 2003. two weeks before he was supposed to come through town, he up and died. also, much less of a bummer, the chromatics show in miami that Arden and i were going to attend got canceled two days before the show.

Most Overrated of 2019

Nasty: Kanye's shoes

Chap: LEGACY! LEGACY! – Jamila Woods seems to have been highly regarded? Not my thing

BC: FKA Twigs

Bronco: Baroness.

JD: Big Thief

Code: cancel culture

Larse: Mayor Pete

Make it Stop 2019

Chap: In my house, the Nutcracker Suite. It's great, until the 300th time that day.

Nasty: Cage the Elephant (but children, instead of elephant, and in real life, not the band)

BC: Lizzo

Code: lizzo

JD: Memes

Larse: Trump

Bronco: News

Biggest TBH Regret of 2019

Chap: Can't seem to get to more than one show per year; Jessica Pratt in a church by my old place

JD: Missin’ dat Pratt yet Nick!

BC: Should've listened to the Kanye album. Should've spent more time with the Deerhunter record.

Rotty: Skipping CHVRCHES at Summerfest

Code: another year with no fog party

Nasty: Not going to Indy 500. lol jk.

Bronco: I didn't buy tickets to a few shows I would've liked to have seen. One of them I went to the venue and didn't get in. That bummed me out, but I crossed the street and had a few beers by myself for good measure, so it wasn't a total loss.

Detective Murtaugh of 2019

JD: Everything.

Bronco: Shows that don't start until 10pm. That Girl Band show nearly wrecked me.

Chap: How much I loved Bruce Springsteen's adult contemporary western-themed old-man album.

BC: The ten seconds I lasted with 1000 GECS

Nasty: For the life of me - I cannot figure out how to operate the "play next" queue on these apps.

Laser: Lizzo at Summerfest - lot of younglings running around; people were racist towards Lizzo's security guards, she vowed not to come back to MKE, one of the most segregated cities in America :(

Resolution for 2019 Status

Laser: — How It Went: Who can even remember this shit...I'm sure it was that I'd do better at keeping track or listen to more shit people suggest and I'm sure I failed.

BC: Listen to one new album a week; reboot the Classic Album Review Club How It Went: Noooot toooo gooooood

Code: catch ovlov, pictureplane, washer, chromatics, EMA and colleen green live this year. How It Went: i saw chromatics and colleen green. last i checked .400 gets you into cooperstown.

JD: Greater consciousness of how I’m using my attention - an ineffectual and meaningless protest of the ways the world is burning down in pursuit of it. How It Went: Not bad! I especially nailed the “ineffectual and meaningless” part.

Chap: Learn Piano; Guilt Joe Dons into finally inviting me to a concert. How It Went: Learned some piano but got to busy for it... Couldn't guilt JD to invite me anywhere but I DID invite him to a show! The same one I went to! With him!

Bronco: Read more 'classic’ books. I didn’t read many of them, even in school (especially in school? Never could read a book I was told to read). But I’m leaning in the sci-fi direction of 'classics’. I just read Dune this summer, and wrapped up Fahrenheit 451 the other day. I’m feeling an unexplained need to beef up my nerd credentials and this seems the way to accomplish it. How It Went: Nope. Fell back in to zombie-apocalypse genre series that I've been reading for a while. But I am currently reading arch-nerd Neal Stephenson's "Fall; or, Dodge in Hell". It's almost 900 pages, I feel like I've been reading for months now, and because I'm a stupidly slow reader, I read only before going to bed, and can only make it 10 minutes before falling asleep and hitting myself in the face with my phone, I'm only 25% of the way through. But man is it painting a creepy yet eerily plausible scene of the near future. Guy just knows how to write.

Nasty: Hope last year I was smart enough to leave this blank. (editor’s note: [removes shoes, pets cat, puts on slippers, retires to favorite easy chair, sips martini, slowly pulls reading glasses out of cardigan pocket, dusts them off, loads todaysbiggesthits.tumblr.com, scrolls to ‘Resolution for 2019’] “Nasty: I’m sticking with it - get to NY for a show with JD.”)

Resolution for 2020

BC: See Phish in 2020

Codem: i'm making it easier this year. catch ovlov, washer, EMA and colleen green live this year. bonus points: see dom's much anticipated return to the stage.

Bronco: Build a vinyl collection. I know I dumped on Brendon for suggesting he press copies of Carpet Affair, but my kid's getting way into music and listening to it on his own (via Alexa in my bedroom which is super fucking annoying), so we're getting him his own record player and I think it's going to be a cool activity to go record store diving for whatever classics we can scrounge up.

JD: Get to more shows. Take more aimless strolls spinning tunes.

Bin: Send an email about music on the TBH! thread.

Larse: None

Chap: Eh I'm cool

Most Anticipated of 2020

Code: my man dom said that he is coming back to the world this year. i have to believe that he'll keep his word. i'm thinking 2020 is going to be the year for chromatics' Tommy.

Chap: TWOD, Perfume Genius, Jason Isbell

BC: Huey Lewis and the News, Tame Impala, Run the Jewels

Bronco: Kvelertak and Mastodon, maybe some surprise extra Tool material?

JD: Working Men’s Club

Nasty: Spotify getting Jay-Z's catalog back.

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thanidiel · 6 years

Text

Choices

Prompt 11: World Building, First Person What if World of Warcraft took a different turn with its inspiration? What if the game was actually based entirely around science fantasy, particularly cyberpunk? I was a cheesy bitch and did The Modern AU(™). For a long piece, use what skills you’ve learned and practiced to narrate AS your character in this different world.

What would their occupation be? What is the world like? Factions? Races? Conflicts? Try to write about a normal or abnormal day for your character in this world—is their name different too? Write in your character’s perspective, and take on a very in-depth look of a different personality and worldview.

[I was very cheesy and went balls deep into a Modern AU story to exercise a more modern narrative style. Lots of references to others and events from World of Warcraft roleplay or Thanidiel’s background, try to catch them all. alsoimsorrythiswassolong.

Mentions: @jessipalooza @stormandozone @captainswingbeard @azriah @immunologist @kinari ]

“Alright, alright. Just, shut the fuck up for, like, I don’t know, an hour. Ethan, cradle your beer, you’re good at that. Elena… I don’t gotta tell you shit.

Let’s start with… the beginning.

So, let’s just get this shit out of the way. Auberry, up in Fresno County, California. Small-time fucking town. My dad was a new recruit to the police department, there. First-generation son to some Lithuanians that couldn’t read shit for English. My mom is a Mono Indian, from the Big Sandy Rancheria next door.

1990, Dad knocked her up when she was in town. I was the result, that she passed right back to Dad. Grew up happy without her, ran around just fine with myself, my Staffordshire, Ted, and all of the neighborhood backdoors left open. Grandparents were out of the picture by then, and Dad had shit hours, so it was up to the Abuelas and Grandma Sallys. Suited all of us just fine.

One day, Dad gets shot up breaking up a domestic dispute. I was six. And as much as we all want to think about those crazy stories up on Reddit and Facebook, no one fucking walks away from a hunting rifle. His coworkers stopped by, took me to the tribe headquarters in town to figure out what to do with me. Off to Big Sandy they sent my ass. I hear the Grandma next to us took Ted.

As much as I want to say things got more chill from there, it didn’t. See, my mom was half-white, already. Mix that with some straight-out-of-Europe dude, and you get a blue-eyed blonde haired kid running around with the Mono. Mom didn’t want me either, and she made that damned clear to the elders, so I was back to being a community effort on a new Grandma’s sofa.

Bless Grandma, she tried. Fed me. Taught me a handful of Monachi. Taught me how to fucking read and write English. Driving, eventually. Hooked me up with a new dog too when I got there, Tamuapaya, albino-assed thing. All of the good parental shit you’re supposed to do, with everything she had.

I ended up as black of a sheep as it gets, though. Scraped with the other kids whenever we crossed each other, dogs got in on it too. Adults couldn’t fucking stand me outside of Grandma ‘cause I didn’t think they deserved anything but lip. And, let me just say, it’s fucking awkward when you realize you’re a fag, hours out from a real city. I was never really accepted with them outside of cook-outs, but that was when you had to take everyone registered in the tribe.

Eventually, I get old enough to start itching to work. So I start the uphill battle of doing the most shit possible small-jobs for the most shit payout for these folk, and as you two know, I am stubborn as fucking shit about my work. So I did every bit of work they pissed at me, with fucking excellence.

Then that got too small when I was like, fifteen, and wanted some real fucking cash. The other black sheep got me then, and let me know it was easy money running drugs between us, peeps at the Casino, Auberry, and Fresno. Next thing I know, I’m sitting in a truck bed heading to Fres’ at 1 A.M. in the morning to pick up with them.

Didn’t take long for Grandma to figure out I wasn’t running off to catch friends at Auberry. She switched me more times than I can remember to try to beat it out of me. Didn’t work, and she didn’t have any full-on proof to get others in it, either - hid the FUCK out of the cash and what we were distributing.

So, eventually, I’m like… seventeen? And I’m passing crack to this military guy visiting relatives in Auberry and wanted some fun up by the Casino. And when he puts the cash in my hand and I put the bag in his, he doesn’t tell me to fuck off. He gives me a good look, asks how old I am, I tell him, and he asks me what the fuck am I going to do out here for another seventy years. I don’t even get to answer when he tells me I should get the fuck out of here, go talk to a recruiter at Fres’.

That got me thinking, so a year later, I’ve found all of my documents and shit in Grandma’s house. I have a pile of cash. And I want to get the fuck out of this shithole. I stuff it all into my backpack, I go with the boys to Fres’. I dump off all of my shit into Christian’s bag; free myself of it. I take a bus to get my ass right to the opposite end of the city. Spend my night in a homeless shelter with my backpack underneath my shirt and sweater, my arms wrapped around it, sleeping on my stomache, and a switch under the extra jacket I was using a pillow.

Next day, I get a free gym trial. I shower and make myself look as respectable as I need. After that, I open up a Bank of America and drop the eight-k. I had into my first savings. I keep three-hundred on me, I grab some Burger King, and I make my way to the Army recruiter.

Guy helps me get set up because it’s like the third time in my life I’ve done paperwork excluding the bank, which did like… everything, for me. After that, it’s floating between the shelter, gym, and getting odd jobs helping at taquerias and panaderias, with their dishes or pushing garbage and carts around for a month. Taking all of those damned test and then waiting for them to process. Grabbed an iPhone 3G during the wait, that was pretty cool.

Fort Jackson for a year, as it goes. Nothing significant in the grand scheme of things; shit was fresh hell, but nothing I couldn’t handle. For the most part. Met Casey there. My age. Actually graduated H.S., attending community nearby for sports medicine. It would still be another two years before fags could be open in the military, but we… got together. When we could. You could—… it was dating. We started dating when I was in B.C.T. And made it work after that.

After basic, I get hauled off all over the place. Okinawa, Hawaii, Ansbach. Mid-2011, they let us be out and loud in the U.S. military. Bad move for my career, but, first thing I did when I took my leave is fuck Casey and ask her to marry me. No ring or any big romantic gesture, we didn’t work like that. She said, yeah, sure. The process went underway, it’s all done by the time I’m heading back to like, Fort Irwin.

We’re separated for a while, then, like, she graduated, because she was a lot fucking smarter than me. And she started living with me on base. Which is fucking awesome. It’s not what I asked for, because she had all of this potential to work with back at home. But, hey, she wanted to travel too. We had our years, we were fucking twenty-years old. I let her come.

So we fucked around in South Korea, Alaska, Italy, it’s almost a blur after everything. Eventually, I get put out in Camp K.A.I.A. in Afghanistan. She’s back in Kansas, ‘cause, naturally, they’re hesitant on letting me drag a U.S. civy out there of all bases. It’s seven months into my deployment, she wants to visit and I let her.

April 28th, 2014. I took her out, a bit south of the airport in city proper for a meal, in the early morning. We were eating lamb korma with turnips— I still can’t fucking handle smelling and eating lamb. Or any soft fucking food: deuces to mashed potatoes and bolognese. God.

So we were eating—… we were eating that. And there was an airplane with a fucked engine that had been making its way towards the airport. It didn’t get close to the runaway. It veered and dropped, right into the city. The wing went right through our building.

I was sitting northward. She was sitting southward. My mind slowed down time, and I watched the way all of this debris and broken cable and a fucking airplane slammed into her back. She hits the table and it’s shooting off. All I see is blood and curry everywhere, then it hits me, too.

I wake up in the hospital two days later. My head feels like shit because my brain got ping-ponged. A sheet of metal opened up my torso from collar to hip, and a piece of flying drywall smashed my right cheek and orbital socket. They couldn’t save the eye. The ceiling falling after meant some heavy shit landed onto my left hand. They couldn’t save that either. And they couldn’t save Casey. She died on contact.

—I’m fine, by the way. Just pass over the whiskey. I’m not finished.

Cutting that long story of recovery short, I stabilize. They get to Landstuhl in Germany. Eventually, I end up back in the States. Sans eye and hand. A little ugly, now, too. Medical discharge. Sucks, but I’m hooked up with a nice prosthetic, at the least. That all takes about eight months to wrap up - not a lot of interest in keeping an uneducated, handless, soldier around.

And, you know, that’s where you come in, Ethan. I don’t think Elena knows this part about us, so bear with me. Ethan, here, was my Sergeant for a damned while. His ass phased out in ‘13. We always got along great, he kept up with us babies even when he was out. Group texts were a great invention; Snapchat groups even better. Now we both get to see all of the stupid shit the rest of those idiots are doing on deployment.

Ethan is basically like my fucking dad. So when fates aligned and I was in the Brooklyn military hospital, he started driving down from his apartment in the city, seeing me about once a week on his weekends. Then, when I was out, he offered me a place to stay, no costs. Naturally, I fucking took it. The last thing I was going to do now that I was out, was gonna walk my ass back to the Mono in that Cali shithole. Not fucking smart to be alone after the shit that had happened.

And, honestly? It worked really well. I used the time he’d be gone with his job at the nearby library to do… basically all of the adult shit I didn’t do in the military. Got my license, borrowing the car from his coworker and our close friend, Esther (nice girl, did volleyball and track for high-school and college, then decided she liked things quiet). Took the bus to therapy with a guy through the V.A., ‘till I grabbed a beat up 2009 Chevy truck from Craigslist. Eventually, started classes for a G.E.D. too. Collected my military checks, saved it all and got pocket-money with a part-time at some flower hippy’s cafe—and, you know, I never realized how fucking hard it is to make legit money in the ‘real world’ until then. Ethan, you’re a fucking saint. Like, three-hundred or whatever a week? Chump ass change compared to when I bounced with the kids in Fres’.

All of that good shit. Plus, it was nice that we both had a drinking buddy. And we both had a way of navigating each other’s bullshit well. Like, Elena, you just heard my wife-story. And you’ve heard about the fire, too. It’s not the fucking same, but it worked out that we had about an inkling of what to do when the other dude’s fucked up.

Eventually, it’s the day for appointment hell. Check up, physical therapy, actual therapy, then likely, a stop by the pharmacist. It’s like, early ‘16, at this point. And before we even get started, the doctor sits me down. Starts talking about this experimental stem-cell research, for organ implantation. Taylor says it’s not at a complex enough stage to restore my hand, but my eye and facial scars would be within the window of possibility. Gives me a card for a Brianna Lalwani-Jindal if I’m interested in volunteering for it.

I get through the day. I finally catch a meal at Jersey Mike’s, and after me and Ethan talk about it over some Coors, like if I wanna do it and how it feels fucking weird, to like, erase what happened to Casey through this, I say, sure, I’ll call. It’s like, eight P.M. She answers like four seconds before it just shoots to her voicemail. The bitch fucking slurs out like she snorted too much Vico, “—yeah, I know I’m fucking late, I’ll be there, I prooomise.”

So me and Ethan pick our jaws off the floor hearing this shit and I’m like, “Nah, Tony Dawson. Doctor Taylor Woodson at the Brooklyn V.A. Hospital referred me to you, about your research trials with the organ implantation. Lalwani?”

There’s a gasp, a lot of shuffling, and a lot of me and Ethan passing around another beer can between us. Then she really starts spilling and it becomes a game of my fucking brain trying to comprehend this Indian accent mixed with that lightspeed fucking way people from those big cities talk, like “Oh shit, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, you’ve got me. Where do you live? What are you missing? When can I meet you? Tomorrow?”

So I tell her about my fucked-up face, but really, I want to know what the fuck I just got myself into with this chick. I don’t get the chance, she blurts out over me, “Sounds great! EYE will see you later, Tony. Tomorrow. Four P.M., Just… show back at the Hospital. We’ll find a vacant office. Ciao.” Then the fucker hangs up. Eventually, we decide that I should probably text the number back, at least. My ‘See you then.’ gets back a kissy-face and ‘I like coffee.’ Subtle.

A vanilla latte and unsweetened black tea, fifteen minutes of us wandering the Hospital, thirty minutes of her talking my ear off about a bunch of medical-scientific garbage, then five minutes of us filling out all of the paperwork, and I was Bri’s new, shiny, case study.

Skipping over all of the shit she ran my face through, we’ll sum it up as: I need contacts and I fucking hate it, but she did what she set out to do. The meetings themselves, were more interesting. I don’t know if she like, fucking sensed that I’d let her get away with her shit. But I’m going to assume that, since she still has her fucking job.

It got unprofessional, pretty fast. Like, beyond what she already hit me with. I’m not sure what got into me, honestly. I hadn’t even considered another girl since the crash. But I spent our introductions looking at her like a piece of meat whenever her back was turned. First real meeting, she’s prodding me about all of my personal interests and shit in some fucked small talk, starting to get into my dating life. I take a risk and just drop straight out that I dig chicks.

She gets a bit quiet, which doesn’t make much of a difference because it’s clear already that she’s a fucking loudmouth. But she gets curious, and keeps looking at me after that the whole time I’m there. Then the meeting after that, we ended up on some fucking talk about blindfolds for some reason, and let me just say that she got a little too into that before we started talking about how, like, I needed to turn down my drinking.

So the whole time I’m letting her and the other doctors Frankenstein my face, there is sexual tension to cut with at every goddamned interaction to be had. It never gets anywhere, because neither of us are fucking stupid. But, just, Jesus Christ.

Cut to a year later at the end of 2016. My face is put back together. Getting used to fucking contacts, getting used to checking my emails for interview requests out of the wazoo for five-hundred documentaries and news sites, after her team’s paper on me came out. By all accounts, I’m looking good and so is the implant. She’s onto new volunteers, my appointments are getting passed to another doctor on her team and stretched out to semi-annuals. That should be the end of the story.

But, uh, couldn’t get her out of my head, frankly. Not for a lack of trying, either. By now, I was really amping the weights at gym to try to get my energy out. Quit the hippy cafe and lined up a new job in armed security. Did my registration for online classes at the community, for a Statistics program. Eventually, it’s like, I don’t know, two months, after the last time I saw her. Ethan drags me out to a bar. Ethan fucks off. I meet a girl, some rich one, named Valencia. We get to talking, for like, fifteen minutes. Next thing I know, I’m texting Ethan I’ll show up later and I spent the night at her place.

It’s fucking great, Valencia’s fucking great. But I’m texting Bri the next afternoon at Starbucks that I want to see her that goddamned night. She shoots me the address of another bar, says to bring friends. Naturally, that means I tag in Ethan and Esther. We show up, she has good ol’ Elena here.

Everyone clicks just like that. And that’s fucking great. Lots of material to work through, especially when Bri started going on about how she and Elena met; some wild case when she was a med. student and the Roma communities in the whole state were having outbreaks. Apparently Elena helped with her outreach a lot, a sort of guide between worlds. Then the two quiet girls started going on about their herb gardens, not to even mention all of the stupid military stories me and Ethan had. We hung out for a long ass while. Eventually, we’re all back at Bri’s place. And our BOI Ethan, here, finally communicates what’s up to you and Esther. So Esther ‘takes you two out to for fast food’ and out of our hairs.

Shit takes even shorter than Valencia. Bri locks the door, we fuck. Then I wake up in the morning, wake her up for another fuck. We sleep around, get some take-out for a late… brunch… hang out, I end up taking her with me to that huge football party Tim was hosting and meeting up with the whole friend group. Then it’s just straight back to her place for a repeat performance.

So, basically, it went from zero to like we had always been fucking dating. I practically moved in with her after the first two weeks. I know all of my stuff ended up in there by the fourth month. Then we put me on the lease entirely sometime during the seventh month when she was renewing it. It all flowed natural as shit too, I didn’t even know how ‘fast’ we were going ‘till about the third time I was throwing shit I needed into boxes to toss at Bri’s and Ethan called me the fuck out when he asked: I just said it’s convenient with how much closer to work she is.

And I know a lot of people were, and still do, giving me shit about it, or just about the whole relationship in general. Apparently we talk too hard at each other and act too casual for it to be serious. Looks like some sorta fling, especially considering our ‘differences’ as people put it. You know, racist people, or people who think I’m fucking stupid ‘cause I got a gun in the drawer.

But lemme just say that I think it takes some real fucking balls in a person, where the first time she ever woke up to me having a PTSD episode, is to slide her ass out of bed, rummage through my coat for my medication, and slap my benzos in front of me with leftover tea and a Crunch bar. All without a single word. It takes real balls, any other person, after getting that from her, is just a discount bitch.

It’s not all her pampering me, either. I realized quick she’s a ‘talker’ with her research. If she isn’t with one of us, she’s locked in the bedroom with a stack of journal articles and a Macbook talking off Luke’s ears like he can fucking bark back. So I started reading everything she had and really going over her team’s paper on me, plus whatever the fuck else her scholar databases had, and a lot of Dictionary.com. And, one weekend, she’s complaining to me over coffee and tea about her shit, I pop that shit right back at her, her jaw drops, she probably shits herself a little. And, from then on, I’m her new interactive rubber duck. And people think I’m fucking dumb.

I mean, not to mention all of the random shit I pay for that bitch, with all of the money I’ve been getting lately between disability, financial aid, and work.

So, we’re basically to the present now. There isn’t much detail to fill in after that besides that life is pretty fucking great and Bri is pretty fucking great, from then to now, the middle of Year of Our Lord, 2018. Which takes us to the crux of this whole ass speech I’ve been going on.

Now you two know my life-story. What I wanna know, now that we’re all open and drunk here, is your fucking thoughts on if I’d be making the best, or the worst, decision of my life if I asked her to hitch with me. I’ll be fucking real; I don’t fucking know what it’s like to make a good choice besides like, I don’t know, where to buy my graphics cards.”

I watch the two shitfaces in front of me process what the fuck I just said. Elena brightens like the Irish daisy she is, pressing her hands together, abso-fucking-lutely wiggling in her seat. Her purple scarf slides off the back of the chair in the process. Ethan is still stretched out across the whole damned table like he’s gonna pass out, with the dopiest smile stretching across his face, but as usual, he’s the ‘loud’ one of the two and starts to talk over Elena’s vague ‘Oh… oh…!’

“Dude? That’s… that’s great. That’s really fucking great. I… Man. Fucking, just fucking go for—”

“So are we just a homeless shelter now, or like, is this a reverse Alcoholics Anonymous?” The door slams shut, Luke is rushing off of the couch, and all four of us are just JEERING (barking) Bri’s name back at her, like it makes it fucking better that these idiots are still in the apartment.

“I was thinking homeless shelter and giving them the living room.”

“Cool. Maybe the floor’ll delay Ethan breaking his back another day.”

“Hey… hey, man. I ain’t that old.”

“Oh! Don’t say that - what if it does happen?”

Twiddle Gray and Twiddle Orange are both looking at me funny right now, considering what was cut into, and Bri is starting to pick that up as she’s putting her keys and shit away.

“So! What were you all talking about? Are you finally leaving me?”

“Food, actually. We were thinking that Himalayan place you like. They can eat the basic bitch shit, I was gonna grab us fried okra and tandoori.”

“I hope you aren’t expecting me to pick my ass up from the couch, now. That shit, ain’t happening. Long day working with by-the-book dunderfucks.”

The Twiddles give each a look, then, and then Ethan launches in.

“Nah… naaaaah. You know what? You sit there. You hang out. The three of us will walk down, sober up.”

“With how you made my fucking apartment smell, not sure if that’s gonna happen. But ‘kay. Have fun, leave me all alone. After I just came back from work. A l o n e.”

The three of us are already draining our waters and grabbing our jackets and wallets. I push Elena towards the door and Ethan is right after her as I shoot back at her,

“Shut the fuck up, you whiny bitch. Thirty minutes. You’d be spending it ignoring us and doing your shitty Buzzfeed quizzes anyway.”

“I mean - you’re right. But you’re still leaving me alone. Shit friends. Shit girlfriend,” she sighs, “What a shit life.”

Elena is the one pushing me through the door now by my arm, forcing me and Ethan’s fat asses into the hallway as she tries to assure Bri.

“It’ll be fast! I love you!”

“Awh. That’s cute.”

The door slams shut.

#writing #thanidiel #bricini #ithanar #elleynah #veya #taeonthrial #esheyn

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the-firebird69 · 2 years

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This is a momentous occasion and we're going to have celebrations all over the place and we'll probably have them on Earth and Mercury is going to be a big topic okay I'm going to try and get there and we're going to start installing stuff shortly and they're starting to get ready to take off and they want the Hubble back over to take a look anyways they didn't try since we wrote that they said so we're going to have a party over at the entertainment center and all sorts of cosplay and he says we should get cosplay ready the Riddick stuff and Mercury to go to all the other comic bars and superhero bars and other locations to start getting people to do it when she started doing it it's all over the world Mercury's rising

Thor Freya

That's my namesake I came in and started taking over again I just told him to do that so I got him to do it I suppose it's a big argument we're having in the past everybody should know who we are by now

Mercury Aphrodite

And I'm part of the Mercury company it's really Chrysler and Dodge same company and we're doing that some issuing at Mercury car it's going to be huge looks like the silver surfer that's my character who I am I'm saying you it says corrected me so I think I'll set it straight and stop calling me names can I come down there and help you I wish you wouldn't

I'm having fun too and he's my husband and I love him very much and did a great job today and Mr big guy came by pushed him out of the way and I said what is he doing and I said he's doing the job and we started doing it and he was making us do it that's his job later you feel this in and he said we have to take that Hill and said why I said it's going to be a motivator was going to set everything in motion and things like that silently but really it's a symbol and it's much more is saying now but that's what got to me and I pushed him and he thanks me I just couldn't figure out what really happened that's what happened and that's what we've always been it's a symbol and the people who sent the message to get a gun going and there's the message because Mercury is going to be rising as a morning Star actually I think Mercury is isn't it.

Aphrodite

It is it is the morning Star Mercury is always been called it we're going to have some big things happening one of them is Sebastian is going out there as himself the crazy man he's going to start to try and use that mine now all I can because he's rebel but he is in a genius fighter and he does use corky effectively so let's be aware of what's going on and Mac hasn't do it because he gets things done so he wants to hire the band to play that new Vegas in Louisiana he wants to set up a place out there with a New Vegas is going to go we're Galactus himself will be inside of a gigantic casino inside of his own room which would be his throne room. I'm here proves it if you can sing right on the spot of the throne and we said you can sing near the river thrones going to be or you can guess where it is so he liked it let's hope you're not facing either why does this suck he says it's a momentous occasion he says we're discovering things they're in the Bible and how huge he is and huge it really is and why is demanding respect in our little toddlers out of the way or at least not bothering him cuz she doesn't mind them bothering us we're going to proceed now and have our celebration we're going to name it a special name because it is called the rising Sun morning Star as well but is our son's lives coming into being where it wasn't guaranteed before and it's the beginning of that chapter where we'll have a chance

Thor Freya

Praise God you got it out because this is what it's about and we have a huge huge problem with it and we must do this our children are definitely going to come alive from things like this happening and this is a huge start and I am so proud of my husband right now I want to go see him

Hera

Praise God and Goddess for you all Olympus and all who are ours, when Mercury rises and it's all look at it in some way or manner or fashion and make a statement and write it down and save that statement and put it on a picture of Mercury rising or some form of it and stayed on it if you're not here on Earth what you're thinking and saying to your clan and your kids

Zues

We are here to this and we're naming today a holiday called the rising Sun we also honored Japan for their strength and severe solid character but they survived out there amidst these crazy people that our son is it is just a statement of their resolve and it is trying and it is hard and it was a parallel but it is an amazing amazing accomplishment and they too should share in it just as Frank Castle Hardcastle and his his story is very deep and very touching will be told all of the universe

Olympus

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austinpanda · 3 years

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Dad Letter 100221

2 October, 2021

Dear Dad--

I got your care package and thank you thank you! I’ve already watched the movie, and I’ll read the book, and I’ve already eaten the tootsie rolls. That was a pretty amazing movie, 1917, wasn’t it? I hope you watched some of the DVD extras, assuming you own a copy that has the same extras as the one you sent me. Because learning how they did everything they did to make the movie look like a single continuous take was fascinating! Alfred Hitchcock did a similar thing with Rope, if you’ll recall. And the Michael Keaton movie Birdman was similar, but none of them had all the fun explosions and battle scenes that this one has. I wasn’t expecting the movie to do that! I was just expecting a regular WWI movie. Thank you again; it’s definitely a keeper!

What else is going on in my life? I continue to work Sunday through Thursdays. Last Thursday our parking garage at the casino was much more full than usual because of a funeral service for a sheriff who’d been killed, taking place at the convention center across the street. The governor came. It was a big deal. Didn’t affect our jobs, we’re still auditing the casino’s income and making sure everything adds up. Someone finds a quarter on the bathroom floor and decides to give it to the cage cashier as “found money,” we have a form we fill out for it, and places in spreadsheets where its existence is documented. It’s a bit like picking gnat shit out of pepper, I think, but it’s nice when all the numbers balance the way they’re supposed to.

Other than that, it really has been a slow week. I’ve spent a good deal of the week being dissatisfied with how little I’m being paid at my job, and spent a small amount of time reminding myself that my paychecks will get bigger soon, when I’ve paid for my gaming license and some snafu with my health insurance which somehow put me a couple hundred in arrears (still don’t know how, or with whom) and they stop taking all that extra money out of my paychecks. I’m considering talking to my HR person at work. Be nice to know when I’ll be done paying for this stuff, and if it’ll happen before I enter the time of year when I have a kerosene bill to pay each month.

We had a fun kerosene kerfuffle yesterday! We get our kerosene from a company called Morin, and yesterday, for the first time since early spring, they came by to top off our kerosene tank. Not a bad bill, only $44. The problem was, the bill said it was for trailer 1, which we are not, and that my name was Lee Robbins, which I, even more vigorously, am not. So I figured, I needed the top off anyway, and they’re my kerosene dealers, not like I got screwed in any way, and in this case, someone else is being billed for it! But I also figured, the guy in trailer 1, whose name is apparently Lee Robbins, is still going to need kerosene too, and at some point, he’s going to realize he paid for some, but never got any. So I called Morin and let them know.

The nice flunky that I got on the phone from Morin was quite entertained by the whole thing. He thanked me very much for calling and letting them know. I explained that the manner in which our trailers are numbered defies rational thought, and implored them against giving shit to their fuel delivery dude who made the mistake. I realized the Morin flunky with whom I was speaking didn't know that I was a Morin customer, because, at one point, he had to ask, “So! Um...did you, like...Um...Did you NEED any fuel today? *nervous chuckle*” and got to tell him, “Yes, it’s getting cold, I figured I’d be topped off soon, you guys are my kerosene providers, it’s all good. No harm, no foul. Obviously, everything is going according to the good Lord’s plan.” (What I said in person did not include that last part.) Then he suggested I send them a check or stop by to pay for the kerosene, and I reminded him that they have my billing info on file, just suck the money out that way.

That worked out fine, but I began to realize that I probably don’t interact with strangers and people doing their jobs the same way most people do. I had a doctor’s visit, and the nurse’s assistant said, “I see you declined your last colonoscopy?” And I had to tell her, “Oh goodness no, I didn’t decline it, I just thought it was icky and I didn’t want to do it.” And she nodded sagely, like medical professionals are supposed to when you say something dumb as dirt, like that was, but then snorted through her nose and said, “It was icky and I didn’t wanna do it!” and laughed. I guess I’m just a witty motherfucker. Take that, boring badinage.

And OH SHIT a good thing just happened to me! I knew that the grocery store had some prescriptions ready for pickup, and intended to pick them up this morning. I had put this off a little bit--actually I was dreading it like a trip to the gallows--because I figured the grocery store pharmacy now knows that I have insurance through my work. Now that I have insurance, my shit won’t be 100% covered by MaineCare like it was, and I may have co-pays. If the co-pays are too big, it may put the meds out of reach. And that’s just bad in every way, to say nothing of having to tell the pharmacy, “Yeah, I can’t afford that. Can you please take those pills and give them to someone less undeserving than I,” while the folks in line behind you shake their heads and think, “Get a job, and you won’t have this problem, you pinko ragamuffin,” despite the fact that getting the job is what caused the problem.

But I steeled myself and went to the pharmacy and said I had prescriptions for pickup, and she said it was three medications, and I thought, “They’re going to ask me for a hundred bucks and then I’m boned,” but she said there was a zero copay for all three medications. That’s a big damn happy thing, so...what has gone wrong? I knew confirmation was in order, so I told her, “Well, I have insurance now...shouldn’t my ass be bleeding from all the copays by now?” (Again, not the actual phrasing I employed during this exchange at the pharmacy.) And she said, “Um...nope, it’s split between (someone) and (someone), and neither of those is gonna be called whatever you call it, probably.”

This was when I made my mistake, and I hope it isn’t a bad one. I didn’t have her explain who the (someone) and the (someone) were, and it’s not spelled out on the paperwork that came with my pills. I think she said one of the entities was “Advantage” something or other, and there's an “ADV” on my new Caremark prescription card. And I think the other entity had the letter M in its name, which might mean MaineCare. And I find myself thinking, I shouldn’t have to be Indiana fucking Jones to figure out how my own pills are being paid for. Obviously my only concern is that the other shoe will drop, and I’ll get a letter saying, “Dear icky poor person. You were accidentally charged a zero copay when it should have been $587.29. Enclose immediate payment in the envelope provided, or we’ll come take one of your thumbs.”

Probably that won’t happen. For the time being, I’m just going to be grateful for the fact that my medications didn’t cost me anything today. Also for the fact that fall has officially begun here in Maine, and the foliage is starting to turn. The cats are now more demanding of physical affection, for the warmth, and every mile of my drive to work is a picture postcard of autumn in New England.

More next week! All my love to you both!!

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lufancy · 7 years

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Put Money Where Your Mouth Is (M)

Jongin x You (ft. Jongdae) Summary - Your friend Jongdae drags you to a casino, where you pique the interest of the most feared lucky bastard in the entire country. A/N - Yeah.. just enjoy it. Want to thank my friend for doing the smut part (<3 amy).

Casinos have never been your thing. That’s why it took your friends a lot of convincing for you to join them. It’s not that you didn’t like gambling. In fact, you really enjoyed watching people go rich or go broke but testing your own luck was just a lost cause in your case.

“I don’t wanna go because I suck.” you rolled your eyes when one of your close friends was standing in front of your house, “I’m pretty sure I have told you countless times before, Jongdae.”

He groaned in frustration, “Once, come us with just this one time. Play one game, I swear you’ll think it’s fun!” He clasped his hands together and whined. Giving his best cute face. “Besides… what’s not fun about watching me win money? I’m on a streak!”

“First of all, you know I’m pretty much the goddess of misfortune so why would I play when knowing I’m going to lose my money? Second, you’re a cocky asshole.” You smiled. He has been going on about being a good gambler for a while now, and yes, he has won a ton of money ever since he started but that doesn’t mean it’s meant for everyone.

You hate it that your friends have become regulars at casino’s and you can’t join them. You don’t have the need to get addicted to something that is clearly not put away for you. In all honesty, you call yourself lucky if you don’t have a coffee stained shirt when you arrive at work.

“Fine, while you are going to watch Netflix in your sweats I’m going to become rich..” He crosses his arms and huffs in frustration when you stare at him with little interest. “I’ll be going..” he takes slowly takes a step away from you, hoping to still be able to tempt you. “I’m reaaally going..”

“Goodbye. Good luck.” You wave to bid your farewell.

Jongdae whines again. If you haven’t caught on; he does this quite a lot. “The least you could do is hug me after rejecting me!”

Oh god, talk about needy.

You roll your eyes for maybe the tenth time this day and close the space between you and your friend. You are ready to let go but Jongdae, as the stubborn little bastard he is, has other plans. He crushes you into his hug and lifts you up so you can’t escape. You can’t move out of his embrace because of shock and the fact that he started working out made him a lot stronger.

Then you hear it. A click. That smirk on his face confirms your suspicion. “You locked me out!”

“Now you have no other choice but to come along!” He seems to enjoy this whole thing very much.

“What the hell, Kim Jongdae?! You locked me out! What am I supposed to do now?!” You scream. It’s too late to ask your landlord for a spare key, you will be locked out of your apartment until next morning. Thanks, Jongdae.

He grabs your arm and drags you outside, “Oh boohoo, seems like you have nowhere to go~ you can stay at my place! I’ll be your savior!”

“Are you being funny? It’s because of you that I’m locked out! How am I supposed to even go to a casino?! I’m not even wearing any shoes!” You are fuming. Only Kim Jongdae can pull something like this.

“I have everything you need!”

So there you are. In a, quite fancy, casino wearing shoes that are way too big because you had to borrow Jongdae’s soccer shoes.

Your blue socks with polka dots are sticking out, you feel very self-conscious about your track shorts. Plus, you have gotten quite some unwanted looks for wearing a university tee.

You look stupid. Very stupid.

A few snickers of neatly dressed women passed by. “I hate my life,” you whined as you lowered your head in shame.

“Geez, stop moaning. Minseok is coming as soon as he can. I’m sorry for what I did but hey I’m paying for drinks tonight, okay?” He pats your back.

You raise an eyebrow. “Well, first of all, I don’t have any money on me since you pulled me out of my apartment and then locked the door. Second, you’re not sorry.”

“I totally am not.” Kim Jongdae is officially the devil.

You notice everyone staring at you. Especially this man on the other side of the bar seems to be enjoying the embarrassing sight.

He enjoys it so much that he isn’t even paying any attention to the girls flocking around him. He looks rich and hot so it’s not really such a surprise that he has many followers.

Maybe you’d make a shot if you weren’t dressed so ridiculous.

If only you could leave this place.

“I’m here!” You see Minseok, your lifesaver, with clothing in a plastic bag and extends his arm out to you so you can take it. You assume it’s your dress.

“I really want to ask why you own a dress, but I feel like I’ll regret it. Thank you anyway.” You take the bag and open it. It’s a black dress.

He laughs. “It’s my little sisters’ and please keep it. I hate it when she wears it. She’s at that age, you know? Boys and stuff.”

You quickly get into the restroom to change and you can definitely understand why he hates this dress on his little sister. The v cut of the dress is extremely low and the stretchy fabric makes the dress form fitting. Hugging and accentuating your body shape, but also making it look curvier.

It’s kinda sad that when you look down you still see those sneakers with mismatching polka dot socks but whatever. At least you don’t look like you came here in your pajamas.

All the women here are wearing beautiful dresses paired with Jimmy Choo’s or some shoe brand you can’t afford.

“Damn,” you hear Jongdae a curse and Minseok coughs.

And like this began your first time at a casino. The first hour you spent sticking to the bar, determined to drink until Kim Jongdae is broke. But in the end, you got dragged to the tables anyway.

“Miss, are you going to pick a number or not?” You don’t even notice that you have been standing there for that long, thinking about a number.

“It’s her first time at a casino,” Minseok explains to the impatient dealer.

It’s so hard. There are too many numbers.

“Yeah, well. Minseok and I are going to try our luck at the slot machines. We’re giving you a hundred bucks okay? Don’t use all of it immediately. Also, you know how to exchange them for chips, right?”

“We?!” Minseok, not quite happy that Jongdae is dragging him in.

Even though Minseok is Jongdae’s hyung he doesn’t really seem to care and places a hand over his mouth while dragging him away.

Now you are left with the roulette table. Well, and the impatient dealer but whatever. Are you going for 7? The lucky number? Or should you go with your birthday…

“Place everything on 13.” Someone whispers softly into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You look to your right and you see that handsome guy from back when you were sitting at the bar. He seems to have ditched his fans.

You kind of mumble in the surprise of him talking to you. He subtly places a hand on your hip. “Isn’t that an unlucky number?” You ask.

He laughs, and man does it sound cute. Never in your life did you expect someone to look like a million dollar playboy, which for all you know he might be. He is wearing this dark maroon colored suit with a dark dress shirt. His hair is styled back and he has a shiny Rolex watch around his wrist. “Just trust me.”

Should you listen to him? The payoff is 35-1 and you have nothing to lose. That would mean that if he is right you’ll win 35 times what you have bet on it..

“Trust me.” He eggs you on and you do feel a bit of pressure. You barely know the guy. For all you know he could work here and is now trying to make you lose your money. “What about this? If you lose.. I’ll give you your hundred back.”

If that’s true..

“And if you win.. I’ll take you out..” he moves your hair away and his lips trace your ear gently.

“Straight bet on 13, please.”

You don’t know what or why but somehow he has you in the palm of his hands.

The dealer is definitely making fun of you as you are about to waste a lot of money on one number and the guy who told you to go for 13 is gone. However you don’t even notice, all you are focused on is the ball after the dealer spins it.

And it lands on..

…

..13

An indescribable feeling of joy washes over you. You actually won money! No way. You have never been this lucky ever in your life before. The dealer pays you out in chips and you went from 100 bucks to 3500!

You run to Minseok and Jongdae as soon as you can to tell them the news and to give them their money back. “I can’t believe it! I thought you were going to just flush my money down the toilet but you actually won a shit ton!”

“I got help.” The two boys stare at each other.

“From who?” Minseok asks.

You turn around to scan the crowd in order to find his face. One of the tables looks to he unusually crowded compared to the other tables, full of cheers and howling. While motioning the two to follow, you head over to the table.

Just like you thought, it’s that guy that everyone is making a fuss over. Once again he is surrounded by females and men are almost kissing his feet.

“That guy,” you point to the same maroon suited man that helped you earlier.

Minseok slaps Jongdae in excitement and you don’t understand why. The older boy holds a hand in front of his hand while the other is on his hip. “Do you even know who that is?”

Jongdae hisses in annoyance, “Don’t overhype the guy he is already over appreciated and I’m sure he is just a big hustler.” He says to his hyung but Minseok ignores him.

“That is Kim Jongin. Kim Jong-freaking-in!” Minseok tells and Jongdae rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “He is a master in gambling - no! A god. I’ve never seen that guy lose, like casino’s hate him. And he helped you! Oh my god!”

“Calm down, hyung.” Jongdae pushed him off of him. “He is a total fraud, a hustler. I can see it on his face. All of his opponents are just too busy with ogling at his face to notice it. He’s just trying to get into your pants.” Jongdae warns you.

“Woah, is someone jealous?” You poke in his side and he hisses in annoyance.

He steps away so your finger doesn’t reach him anymore and glares at the one he was badmouthing. “I bet I could win from him if he played fair.”

“Okay, okay. You’re a really really tough guy.” Minseok mocked him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “But let’s face it. You against him? Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

Jongdae shrugged it off, clearly not happy with the little confidence his friends had in him. “I’ll prove it. Watch me.”

And then he did something both you and Minseok were very shocked to see.

A furious Kim Jongdae stepped with his not-so-tall frame to the infamous King of Gambling with great confidence. He then slammed his hand on the table in front of him for everyone to see.

The Jongin guy looked up when he noticed everyone becoming silent, even the girls who gave him consistent attention stopped for a second to see what was going on.

Oh god no..

“You against me. Whatever game you prefer.” He said after the whole room went silent. Only he wasn’t as cool and manly as he thought. His plan turned out different than he had in mind.

Because Jongin started to stare the boy up and down with a laugh stifled. He was able to keep it in, but when he scanned him again he couldn’t help but cackle a loud laughter. Leading the people around to follow his laughing. “Sorry, kid. I only play with the big boys.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I bet I’m even older than you. Just because your suit is Prada or whatever doesn’t mean you’re better than I am.” Jongdae spat back at him. He is quite well known as the one who can’t take a joke in your circle.

“Woah, woa.. we don’t want any trouble.” Jongin raises his hands as if he were protecting himself from Jongdae, but everyone could hear exaggeration in his voice. He was mocking him, and you didn’t feel like this was going to end well for your friend. “Fine, if you really want to play with me. My only condition is that you play with chips no lower than 50 dollars.”

Once again everyone started cackling. They were mocking him, knowing he would never be able to bet that much money. He was wearing his worn out black skinny jeans and a big red hoodie, that didn’t scream ‘Ferrari owner’, or anything like that, at all.

You had to step in. Not only because this was extremely embarrassing but also because he was your friend, and you had to help him when he makes himself look like a total fool. “Come on, Dae. It’s not worth it. Let’s just go home.”

“But that bastard is making fun of me,” he gritted his teeth, “I want to punch him in the face!”

Rolling your eyes, you tugged on his arm in an attempt to get him to leave.

“Wait!”

The tree of you turned around when a voice called you, only to see that Jongin guy calling you. “Big two. We’ll play big two.”

Jongdae knitted his eyebrows in confusion, “I don’t have the money-”

“No need,” he wore a smug look on his face.

The three of you exchanged looks. What did this guy have in mind? Was he going to make you look even more like losers? “What made you change your mind?” Jongdae asks as he slides into one of the chairs without negotiating, and Jongin waves over someone to give him a deck of cards.

“I know something you can bet instead of money,” Jongin whispered for only Jongdae to hear.

Jongdae became a little suspicious. “What..?”

“Your girl.”

People started murmuring. The girl in pajamas and oversized shoes? Really?

Jongdae followed to where Jongin was pointing his finger. It was directed to you, who was very busy talking and huffing with Minseok. This was a bad idea, so he quickly shook his head. “First of all, she isn’t ‘my girl’. She would kill me if anyone referred to her like that and she’d hear. Second, I can’t do that. That’s my friend, besides.. the whole 'women’s right’ is very active so I’d rather not bet a woman.”

Jongin leaned back in his chair. “Are you sure?” He shoved a whole tower casino chips his way. Jongdae’s eyes dilated in awe. Were those really poker chips of 5000 dollars?! “Just one night.”

You’ll be so mad at him..

The man across from him dangled a pair of keys right in front of his face, then dropped them without much care. Jongdae swallowed, this was so tough for him. There’s a tower of poker chips that could pay off his student loan debt, and there’s a key of a Maserati lying right before his eyes.

“Okay..” he hesitated but agreed, “on the condition that you remove that blazer. I know you got stuff up your sleeve.”

Jongin raised his eyebrows and his mouth pursed, “I feel insulted, but as you please. Well then, follow me.”

You watch the both of them walk to a more secluded place. It’s an odd sight seeing that man in suit and Jongdae in his skinny jeans competing. Suddenly you hear them call for you and Minseok. “What are you two waiting for? You play this with four.”

A few minutes later you’re facing all the man and next to you are your two friends. You have quite decent cards. Two aces.. three sixes and a clover two. Also, you are the one to start the game. You hold the lowest four, so you dump it together as a flush. The game continues and Jongdae and Minseok seemed to get rid of five cards as well, only Jongin passed.

I have two cards left, a King and a 10. Not bad but considering all of them are throwing doubles, I can’t continue. Jongdae throws a smug look and I can see why. Two aces.. I wish I had mine left, I could have overthrown him. Jongin chuckles but I wonder why. He has 7 cards left, Minseok has 3 like Jongdae. Jongin places two two’s down and everyone gasps. Bold move. Quite risky.

However, he had it all planned out because no one can overthrow him and all of a sudden he pulls a flush out that he didn’t take out the first round.

He won.

“Shit. Jongdae, did you just lose all your money?” I ask him and he looks up from his lap, guilt displays in his eyes.

He seems hesitant. “I-I’m sorry but I.. I..”

“What?” I ask in confusion.

“Oh no. Jongdae, what the hell did you do?” Minseok asks him, trying hard not to get violent - knowing his friend messed up.

“I didn’t bet with money.”

Minseok looks at me and I look him back at him in the eye. We turn to Jongdae at the same time, searching for answers when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I turn around and its that Jongin guy.

“Are you ready?” He asks me.

And suddenly it all clicks together. He sold me. Kim Jongdae used me.

I can’t even kill Jongdae as I get pulled away. Two large men are close behind me as I follow Jongin to another room upstairs. He must be staying at the hotel above.

A nervous chill shoots through my body. I don’t want this. Don’t I get a say in this? What is going to happen to me?

A large door opens and my eyes almost fall out of my casket. Never have I ever seen a suite so beautiful, it looks as if royalty lives here. I make a turn to take everything in and the door shuts with a loud bang.

I feel hands on my shoulders and I know it is Jongin as he whispers into my ear. “I know you are nervous and worried but I will have you for tonight only.”

I turn around and he smiles in a gentle manner, nothing like the man back down at the casino. This man is.. different. Not out for money… but for something else.

“I won’t do anything you don’t want to do.” He assures me, but the way he talks and looks at me makes me melt right into his arms.

His voice is alluring yet sweet. “I..” With a slick touch, he moves my hair from my face.

“You are so beautiful.” He says and I snort. He looks at me like I did something weird and starts laughing too. “What’s so funny?”

He really doesn’t know? He had beautiful women surrounding him just a couple of minutes ago. Women with makeup, high heels and designer dresses.

Yet he chose the worst dressed person to spend his time with. And he thinks you’re beautiful like this?

“Have you seen me?” I ask him and though I am laughing he doesn’t laugh along.

“I am, right now.” He replies.

“I look hideous like this, yet you want me?” I pull the ugly fabric I am wearing and look up at him. I probably have a pimple above my eyebrow, I look like a hobo and my friend was rude to him. What in the world would make him want me? “You should have picked one of those models.”

He shakes his head. “What I see is beyond superficialness. I like you for what is under your clothes and foundation.”

“What is it exactly that you like?” I ask him.

“Your body. You.” He then leans in and I am overwhelmed by such a passionate and breathtaking kiss. His lips and soft and fine against mine. My body feels like it’s under heath when he touches me more and more.

I don’t even notice he has been leading me to the bed until my legs hit the bed.

“Can I?” He asks between the kissed while tugging my shirt. I nod too eagerly and he chuckles.

My clothing is long gone and so is his shirt. I am only in lingerie and he steps back to look me up and down. “Fuck.” He curses.

The undressing slash make-out session continues when I am pulled onto the bed. His fingers dance up my thigh as I feel his bulge press into my other leg.

My breath hitches as his fingers slip into my folds and spread the wetness for better access. He slips in a finger slowly while his thumb is softly flickering my clit. I break the kiss and close my eyes to preserve the moment. This feels incredible.

He moves away from me and sits up straight, then undoes his belt and with one hard pull he removes his belt. Then he does something I did not expect. I was too focused on his caramel muscles flexing that I didn’t notice him strapping my wrists. A 500 dollar Valetino belt.. just like that.

Then he moves into his pocket. I expected him to pull out a condom of some sort but instead its a wad of money. “Open your mouth.” He commands, and I comply. The wad of money is being pressed right between my teeth and I look at him. “Holy shit. What a sight.”

He quickly removes his pants and moves back up on me. His lips trace the lines of my body and his lips slowly and dangerously near my private area. He bites my hip one time before digging into my most desperate body part. The lewd sounds turn me on when he sucks slowly and licks gently. I can’t keep my eyes open to see his mop of hair between my lips, giving me joyful pleasure.

My entire body feels paralyzed by the blissful feeling. My shaking thighs, loud screams and arching back tell him I am drawing close.

So he stops.

Leaving me unsatisfied.

He flips me over and puts his hands on my hips, lifting my ass up in the air. “Ready?” He bends over me and asks me in my ear. I nod and he smiles. “Oh. So bad.”

His hands are on my hips again and he aligns himself. His boxer is long gone and I feel him slip inside of me very very slowly. It’s almost painful how bad he is trying to tease me.

With every thrust, he cranks up the speed until he has me screaming from how erratic he is going. If he keeps his up I’m going to pass out. “Fuck, yes.” He curses. “How can you be so fucking wet?!”

He gives one very deep thrust and I gasp. He notices how much I like it and does it again.

“You like that?” He smiles.

I nod shamelessly. And he does it again. My heart is going erratic from this.

“Close?” He asks and I nod. My legs are going to give any moment. “Me too, sexy.”

A few moments later he comes in spurs and pulls out of me slowly. My vagina is leaking his and mine combined liquid and I can feel it between my thighs as we both lie down after that intense session. He removes the belt and the money he throws it out, sending it flying over the room. Then kisses me again.

“Goodnight.” And you fall asleep.

The next day, he was gone.

And so was the room you were in.

A/N: Haven’t updated in forever so I decided to finish this old thing I had in my drafts!

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duhragonball · 6 years

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[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (73/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation. This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous chapters conveniently available here.

[1 March 234 Before Age. Nat-Chezz II.]

Floating over a mountain range, Vigurd was busy sparring with her teammate and fellow Saiyan, Bodi. None of the them liked Bodi very much. He was asinine. He spent far too much time trying to sound impressive or clever, and far too little time noticing that it wasn't working. He also flirted with every humanoid woman within the sound of his voice. No one liked his cheesy lines, least of all his own people, who found such blatant romantic overtures to be unseemly.

Nevertheless, Vigurd found him to be a worthwhile sparring partner, if only because his power level was roughly the same as hers. He hit on her just as persistently as any other woman, but she was willing to put up with it for the workout. Besides, she had been putting up with a lot since she joined Zaperc's gang.

Like Bodi and the others, she had joined Zaperc because he promised them a path to achieve greater power. He claimed to be studying the Super Saiyan who had mysteriously emerged a few years ago, and he believed that he would eventually discover how to become one himself. Vigurd was skeptical, but she ultimately decided that Zaperc might one day succeed, and she wanted to be there when he did.

But she soon learned that Zaperc's followers only had the one goal in common. As loathsome as Bodi was, the rest of the team hated each other almost as much. Zaperc's son Brockle was a spoiled brat, Hijik was a misogynist, Lesseri was an opportunistic coward, and Jikama was a half-Chezzi wimp. Indeed, part of the reason Vigurd enjoyed sparring with Bodi was that it gave her an excuse to avoid the others. At least she could tune out his pathetic pickup lines while they fought.

Even so, Luffa had turned out to be the worst of all. Following Zaperc had been annoying enough, but it turned out that he knew even less about the Super Saiyan than he had realized. Vigurd was amused at first to learn that the Super Saiyan was a woman who mocked everything Zaperc had been trying to do, but then Luffa assumed command of their team, and began a training regimen of equal parts humiliation and self-righteous preaching.

It didn't take long for Vigurd to figure out that Luffa was a hick. Oh, her adventures had taken her to a few dozen planets, but the girl still clung to whatever backward morality her mother had probably taught her as a child. Everything Luffa said was about honor and pride, as if either of those things mattered in a universe that was constantly trying to kill you. But the most outdated nonsense Luffa spouted was her condemnation of Vigurd's use of artificial gestation facilities.

A lot of expat Saiyans still bought into the old traditions like that. Saiyan mothers were expected to regard pregnancy as their offspring's first battle in life. They were supposed to set aside their own battles to ensure the birth and upbringing of their children. They were supposed to pass down the old stories, which always seemed to be about Saiyan men getting too much credit for a lot of stuff that probably never happened in the first place. Vigurd's own mother had taught her the same things, although she hardly expected Vigurd to believe any of it.

And so, when Vigurd was Luffa's age, she became pregnant and refused to let it get in the way of her career. The babies were brought to term, raised by caretakers, and left to fend for themselves. It was survival of the fittest, after all. If her sons couldn't find the strength to manage in the real world, then there was never anything Vigurd could have done for them anyway.

For all of Luffa's might, she lacked the simple understanding that it was kill-or-be-killed. Mercy, even for one's own offspring, was an opening for your enemies to exploit. Maybe a Super Saiyan could afford to be weak, but Vigurd couldn't, and that was what Luffa didn't understand. Luffa had somehow unlocked tremendous power within herself, but it was in spite of her old-fashioned values, and not because of them. And now that Luffa had become this almighty creature, she was going to ram her morality down everyone else's throat.

Vigurd thought about leaving the group, but just as she began to consider leaving, Luffa left the planet on some vacation outing with her alien wife. That was the real hypocrisy of the whole thing. Luffa expected women like Vigurd to be happy homemakers, while Luffa herself struggled to maintain a crumbling marriage to an alien floozy.

"What are they even doing on Tingi V?" she asked aloud, as Bodi narrowly dodged one of her kicks.

"Ah, who can say?" Bodi mused. He knit his brow and stroked his chin thoughtfully. A knowing smile grew on his face as he said: "But I know they wouldn't have as much fun as we would, my little cherub. Suppose we--"

Vigurd caught him with an energy blast to his groin. She didn't like to hit below the belt, especially in a training match, but he had left himself wide open, and besides, it was only Bodi. She crossed her arms and watched as he tumbled to the mountains below.

"Well, I hope she loosens up by the time she gets back," Vigurd said to herself. "Otherwise, I'm bugging out for good."

*******

[1 March 234 Before Age. Tingi V.]

The ground floor of the resort was a casino, and from early afternoon to late at night it was abuzz with patrons looking to spend their money on gaudily decorated games of chance. Their excited chatter combined with the buzzes and bells of the electronic devices to produce a strangely soothing ambiance.

At one of the card tables a dealer was shuffling a pair of decks for three players. One of them was a Saiyan in a red dress with a wig of long brown hair.

"Well, at least I'm getting a handle on the rules," Luffa said to the dealer as she looked over her cards.

"You can always try a lower stakes table, ma'am," he offered helpfully.

"Nah, this is fine," Luffa said. "I can afford to lose a few more times. Keeps me motivated."

Luffa main problem was inexperience, but she never let that stop her before. She had hoped to compensate with psychological warfare. The real reason she stuck to this dealer was because he kept staring down the plunging neckline of her dress. It wasn't an advantage she was used to using, but Luffa wasn't used to wearing wigs either. This was because she wasn't supposed to be Luffa tonight. It didn't make any sense but she had given up trying to figure it out.

"Mind if I sit down?"

Luffa glanced up to see her wife standing beside her, only it wasn't her wife, even though she didn't look all that different from usual. She had blue skin and short red hair in a bob style. Her left eye shone a brilliant green and her right was covered with a black patch. Her dress matched the eyepatch, though its sequins reflected the multi-colored lights of the casino. The purse in her hand probably contained at least one weapon that she had managed to smuggle past security. Luffa knew it was Zatte long before she approached the table. Indeed, she had been waiting for her to show up all night long, but now she had to pretend that they didn’t know each other.

"Suit yourself," Luffa said, gesturing to the adjacent seat. "Your friend can tag along too if he wants, but I'm afraid I'm not much fun to watch."

"My friend?" Zatte asked.

Luffa pointed her thumb over her shoulder as she laid down her cards to fold. "That tall guy with the green hair," she said. "You two looked like you were getting along pretty well."

"Oh him," Zatte said. "Never saw him before tonight. We were just playing the roto-wheel for a while, but I got bored and decided to move on."

"Too bad for him," Luffa said. "You made a cute couple."

Zatte flagged down a server and ordered a drink. "So you've been watching me?" she asked.

"Maybe," Luffa said. Of course she had been watching Zatte. That had been the whole point, but they were supposed to pretend they didn't know each other. Everything had to be a game with Zatte. Luffa didn't mind that most of the time, but she preferred it when she knew how to play.

"I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Saiyan in a casino before," Zatte said.

"That's because we're all terrible gamblers," Luffa said. "If I need money, I just fight for it, or take it."

"But you're different?" Zatte asked.

Luffa shrugged. "I'm between assignments. Figured this was as good a place as any to spend some downtime. I like the atmosphere, and I can afford to practice a little. Only trouble is my strategy isn't working like I thought it would."

"What's the problem?" Zatte asked.

Luffa examined her next hand of cards and shook her head. "Besides the fact that I suck at card games, I've been trying to watch this guy's mannerisms. Saiyans are good at that sort of thing. Helps you anticipate your opponent's next move. Read his mood, things like that. The thing is, he just works here. If he was playing with his own money, maybe I'd have an edge, only he doesn't care if he wins or loses."

"That's clever," Zatte said. "I wouldn't have thought of that."

"Well, it's only clever if it actually works," Luffa muttered. She laid her cards down and folded again.

"It seems to me like you've got a solution in search of a problem," Zatte suggested. "You just need to play against someone with something on the line."

She reached into her purse and produced a hotel key, which she slid across the table to Luffa. "I'm hosting a private game in my room later tonight. Maybe you can try out your strategy there."

"You sure you want a Saiyan at your little party?" Luffa asked. "We have a certain... reputation."

Zatte sipped her drink and smirked. "You seem to know how to behave yourself," she said.

"That only makes me more dangerous, doesn't it?"

"I'm willing to take that chance. I like a little danger."

"Is that the sort of line you used on that green-haired man?" Luffa asked.

"Why worry about him?" Zatte asked.

"I just feel bad for him, I suppose," Luffa said. "He and I have something in common."

"What's that?"

Luffa looked at her next hand and snorted. "We have the same taste in women."

"I can invite him instead of you," Zatte suggested. "If it'd make you feel better."

"If you want to play it safe," Luffa said. "Your other guests would probably appreciate it."

"There are no other guests," Zatte said. "It's a very small get-together."

"Not much of a pot that way."

Zatte finished her drink, then stood up to leave. "Drop by when you're finished here. If the stakes aren't high enough for you, I'm sure I can find some other way to keep you entertained."

Luffa watched her leave and noticed a certain swagger to her walk that hadn't been there before. She turned back to the table, and noticed the dealer was now staring at the hotel key instead of Luffa's chest.

She ignored it and continued playing, losing several more hands and a small fortune in credits.

*******

When Luffa finally arrived at the room, she didn’t bother using Zatte’s key, since she already had one of her own. She found her wife wearing one of the terry bathrobes that came with the room. There was a bottle of wine on the table with two glasses, but at the moment she was too busy triple-checking their luggage to notice Luffa’s entrance.

When she finally spotted Luffa, she blurted out “Oh, hi!” then snapped back into character and tried to lean seductively against the wall. “I mean, hello,” she said as she tugged open the shawl collar of her robe to make it more revealing. “You didn’t knock, but then you don’t strike me as someone who favors a direct approach.”

Luffa had already taken off her wig and tossed it on the bed. “Wait, are we still going?” she asked. “I thought we were done.”

Zatte broke character again. “Did you want to stop?” she asked.

“I thought the idea was to pretend to be strangers around other people,” Luffa said. “We’re alone up here, so I figured we were done.”

“Well, I thought we’d play a few hands to set the mood,” Zatte said.

“Hold on, you actually wanted to play cards?” Luffa asked. “I thought that was just a pretext to get me into your room.”

“Well, I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” Zatte said. “It was going to be, you know, sexy cards.”

Luffa sat on the bed and took off her shoes. “I’ll do whatever you want, Zattie, but let me do it barefoot for a while, at least.”

“You were great down there, Luffa,” she said enthusiastically. “There were times I could almost believe you were someone else.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” she said, “because I honestly have no idea what I’m doing half the time.”

“It’s therapy,” Zatte said. “Dr. Shunga said we needed to spend some quality time together. Work on communicating without telepathy.”

“Fine, but he never said anything about all this role-playing nonsense,” Luffa groused. “What’s the point of acting like we’re other people?”

Zatte went back to inspecting their luggage. “Because we do it all the time anyway,” she said. “You’re a celebrity, so you have to wear wigs or cover your tail to keep a low profile, and I don’t want people to find out I’m a Dorlun. And it’s kind of fun sharing a secret with you. I guess I just like adding more secrets on top of that, especially for frivolous reasons.”

“If you say so,” Luffa said.

“I think you’d get more into the spirit of things if you would play a different species,” Zatte said. “Like a felinoid mining executive.”

“What the hell do I know about mining?” Luffa asked.

“As much as I do, so what’s the difference?” Zatte said. “We’re just pretending, so you can make stuff up.”

“All right, I’ll give it a shot,” Luffa said, “but I still don’t understand.”

“It’s about being more than yourself, Luffa,” Zatte tried to explain. “I feel a little weird too, but playing a character helps me loosen up. This way you get to be seduced by an exotic Avoirdupoian socialite instead of watching a Dorlun you already know fretting over how many clean socks you have left.”

“I like it when you triple-check the luggage,” Luffa said.

Zatte stared at her. “No, you think it’s dumb.”

“I never said that,” Luffa insisted.

“You thought it,” Zatte pressed. “I’m going to keep doing it anyway, but you don’t have to patronize me.”

“I’m not--!” Luffa stopped herself before her voice grew any louder. “We’re doing it again,” she said after a deep breath. “We’re taking something we picked up from each other’s minds and blowing it out of proportion.”

Zatte rolled her good eye. “You say that every time you get caught in a lie, Luffa. ‘Oh, we shouldn’t argue. Remember what Dr. Shunga said.’”

“Bull,” Luffa muttered. “You were the one who wanted to start seeing him, and he takes your side the whole time.”

“My side?! Oh that’s rich. Then why does he always blame me every time we link our minds together, even though it’s your power?”

Luffa set her jaw. “Probably because you’re always cajoling me into using it,” she said through her teeth. “I half-suspect you only do this role-play nonsense to confuse me so much that I’ll read your mind to understand it better. And then you’ll just catch some stray thought about me not liking your butt or something, and I’ll catch hell for that! I can’t win.”

“All you care about is winning!” Zatte said. “You only ever-- Wait, what’s wrong with my butt?”

“It’s got a big crack in it,” Luffa snorted. She took a moment to revel in her brilliant joke, but then she saw Zatte backing towards a mirror above the dresser. “There’s nothing wrong with your butt, Zattie!” Luffa shouted.

Only there was something wrong with it. Whatever the flaw, even if it was too insignificant to describe, it still existed in Luffa’s mind, whether she consciously admitted it or not. Nothing in life ever quite lined up to one’s imagined ideals. For most couples, this was a matter of accepting one another as they were, not in spite of their imperfections, but because of them.

The problem, Luffa knew, was that they had grown over-reliant on using telepathy to share their most intimate feelings. It was just an easier way to communicate, one that bypassed the cultural barrier between them. When they joined minds, Luffa’s pride dissolved into mist, and Zatte’s insecurities faded into the background, leaving nothing to get in the way of their mutual affection. But this also exposed them to less pleasant feelings: petty resentments and half-formed thoughts that didn’t even make sense most of the time.

True telepaths learned to filter out these intrusive thoughts, or to accept them as irrelevancies in the greater truths of the mind, but Luffa’s mental abilities were something she had stumbled upon mostly by accident. She had found ways to develop them for combat purposes, but she lacked precision and control. It was easy to mentally interrogate an enemy, or to communicate with an ally, but she found that she typically took more away than the information she sought.

Dr. Shunga had asked them to cease their telepathic activities, and while this had helped, it also left them to deal with the resentments that they had already created during past rapports. Only now they had to deal with it across the cultural and emotional gulfs they were used to bypassing. Literally anything could spark an argument. This time it was Zatte triple-checking the luggage. Six weeks ago it was Luffa’s ears. There had been a month where they had stopped speaking to one another over a matter involving dental floss.

The counseling sessions had helped, but-- as Dr. Shunga often reminded them--it was their marriage, and they would have to be the ones to put in the real work to save it. By Luffa’s way of thinking, the true sign of improvement was that the arguments were getting shorter and easier to resolve, and the honest communication that followed was growing more productive.

There were times, however, when Luffa missed Kandai, her husband from her first marriage. It was another stray thought she hoped Zatte wouldn’t come across, but in spite of Kandai’s treachery, at least he had been a fellow Saiyan. Marital bickering was considered a healthy part of Saiyan matrimony, since both parties understood that it couldn’t be taken too seriously. When they were truly fighting, they did it literally, with fists, and the difference in their power levels had made this very rare. At least then, Luffa had felt like she knew where she stood.

Zatte was different. She would joke around one minute and then make a cutting remark that hurt more than Kandai’s strongest blow. Dorluns didn’t fight their spouses physically; they used words to hurt one another, and Luffa had found Zatte to be especially deadly in this regard. There were times when Zatte almost seemed disappointed that Luffa couldn’t keep up with her taunts and jibes.

Still, they were making progress. They each weathered the storm, and eventually the apologies came like rays of sunshine, and slowly but surely they began to make up.

“I respect your triple-checking the luggage,” Luffa clarified. It seemed easier to find the right words when she was holding Zatte in her arms two hours later. “It may be unnecessary, but you don’t do it because you need to. It’s a discipline, and discipline is important to me.”

“I wish you would have put it that way before,” Zatte said as she kissed her on the cheek.

“I... I just never had to put it into words before,” Luffa said.

“The thing is,” Zatte said, “Keda managed to stow away in my carryall when we went to Extraliga. She said I didn’t catch her because I only double-checked it that day.”

“Oh...”

Tears were welling up in her good eye. “I know we agreed not to blame ourselves for what happened, but... I can’t help thinking she might still be alive if I hadn’t gotten sidetracked--”

Luffa held her close and mimicked a shushing sound Zatte often used to console Luffa when she was the one who needed it. As she did this, she began to speculate, and then she remembered something Dr. Shunga had said in a session. So instead of guessing what Zatte was thinking, she voiced her guess aloud, to see if it was correct.

“I think I see now why you wanted us to pretend to be strangers downstairs,” Luffa said. “Not so I’d get so confused that I’d have to read your mind to understand, but so that we could have a fresh start. Set aside our problems for a while.”

Zatte smiled. “You finally got it, you lunkhead.”

Luffa chuckled. “Well then, how about we try something tomorrow...”

NEXT: Performance Review.

#dragon ball #fanfiction #lssjluffafic #super saiyan #luffa #zatte #bodi #vigurd #nat-chezz ii #tingi v

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