I love when I get a sudden idea for an oc design and then I draw it EXACTLY like it the same day !!!

#me at every function where there are people

Nicola Coughlan as Penelope Featherington in Bridgerton S3

I've talked about this before, but emotional dysregulation is such a mother fucker aspect of ADHD.

Like, sure, not being able to regulate my attention sucks, but it's genuinely fucking nothing compared to the absolute rollercoaster of emotions I just went on because someone said something in a shitty tone, and now I'm having to actively walk myself through DBT methods lest my idiot shit for brains 'shiny-can't-sit-still-disorder' drop the match on that particular bridge because the rejection sensitive dysphoria feels like my chest is burning and not being able to act on the hurt feels like I'm suffocating under the weight of emotions pushing down on me and lashing out in anger is quicker than taking the time to self soothe.

And the annoying fucking thing is I know it's me.

I've done enough therapy to know my emotional response to their shittiness is overblown and dysregulated. I know I'm taking it to heart more than they could ever imagine.

And I've got to fucking sit with that and process it because if I don't, I'll be the inconsiderate cunt in this interaction and hhnnggg--wailing, gnashing, biting my thumb at you in the marketplace, etc, etc.

I forgot how lonely it is to write original fiction.

Where are the kudos? The subscriptions? The comments? The people cheerleading me chapter to chapter? Where are the kind words and compliments and reassurances that what I'm writing isn't complete crap? Where are the unhinged emojis? The asks on Tumblr? Where are my mutuals in my dms apologizing for not reading the latest chapter right away (side note, you know you don't have to apologize at all, right??). Where is the fanart? Where are the recs?

Where is my motivation to keep going?

It's something I've been thinking about a lot, actually, lately. How the experience of writing fanfic is so unique. How you already have an audience, willing and waiting and captive. And that's really it, isn't it? You have an audience. It's almost performative, writing fanfic. It's being on a stage, a one-person show (or two, if you do it with a friend); it's getting live reactions to your performance, it's feeding off the energy of the crowd and informing it back in a feedback loop; it's improvised, sometimes, in almost-real-time. It's building something that you couldn't have built by yourself. A thing that takes on a life of its own.

It's an experience you can't get writing original fiction, and, honestly, not having it is making it hard to write something original at all.

no reflection needed.

rotating this freak

early morning, on the way to Martinaise

Starscream taking off his heels after work because the idea came into my brain and wouldn’t leave

yeah

jason, coming back from the dead and seeing tim as robin: how could bruce replace me? how could he give robin to someone else?

dick, who created robin in honor of his dead parents and then had bruce take it away and give it to jason without even asking him:

what in the colgate toothpaste is this carpet

[It's Just a Theory!]

Just a simple theoretical discussion ^v^

Wanted to see what he would sound like with MatPat's voice then got. just a tinyyy bit carried away..........

I’ve been thinking about the fact that Drift and Deadlock are actually the same person

Starscream wants to give you a little squeeze ❤️