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vacayisland · 5 months

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Me sitting here head in my hands kicking my feet at that Clay request. Would you ever consider a part two where they have a heart to heart about how reader can improve their habits and Clay confessing?

@!; You're my "hole-in-one" (pt. 2) Clay / Nerdy! Reader

"Summary"! Please go read part 1 for context!! A part two to "You're my 'hole-in-one'" in which Clay has a heart-to-heart conversation with you and your habits; and accidentally lets his secret spill. "Tags"! Angst to Fluff- i literally forget to write these half the time when I'm done with a piece.. not even half the time, all the time- @mr-trick @writergal02 @chamille-trash @valvalentine69

@!; It had been a week since Clay had found you in such a desolate state; yet, after his attempted to calm you down worked (over time) and you seemingly didn't bring it up the next day, Clay dropped the topic. Don't get him wrong, Clay was still overly concerned about you and silently kept tabs on you to make sure you weren't over-working or over-thinking. Yet, he didn't bring up the topic, largely, to make you comfortable. He wasn't sure why you didn't bring it up to him the next day. That fact stuck in his mind like a bad splinter, as he couldn't help but overthink himself from time to time. Did he simply make you uncomfortable somewhere down the line, or made you think that you couldn't talk to him? Both situations made him feel down right nasty inside; He didn't want to make you feel like that, or even make you think about it! He knew a little what it felt like to have a person you cared for so much be a pillar you couldn't lean on. He actually knew a lot about that from his band days. The isolated feeling. The unsureness. The choking feeling you get by even thinking of trying to explain your feelings to someone you weren't comfortable with. . . It's all things Clay had gone through with John Dory just to make his older brother happy. And he would not let you suffer the same fate he had with his brother!

Yet he couldn't force you to talk either. Clay chewed at the inside of his cheek, trying to think about the possible ways he could bring this up to you; Giving you a side lance every to often as you sat at your desk, scribbling away on your little note pad with your favorite pen. You were okay right now, that put Clay at ease. Seeing your small smile and excited eyes mellowed out his own thoughts, it made him relaxed. Yet, it would only be a matter of time before that day flashed through his mind again and he remembered your state; Remembered the way you shook and the way you couldn't speak. They way you clung onto Clay desperately and wouldn't let go. Clay didn't want to see you like that again. . . but he didn't know how to begin such a delicate conversation in a way where it wouldn't upset you. Or in a way that could feel like any sort of deception. You should be able to open up to Clay when you felt like you needed to or could, he shouldn't pry information out! But. . . "Hey, (Y/N)?" Clay turned around to look at you once more. He watched as you perked up and looked at him, your smile slightly flattening in confusion. "Yeah? What's up Clay?" You said those words so simply, Clay felt a little jealous for being all choked up. Was he blowing this into bigger proportions than it should be? No, he doesn't think so; Your emotions and feelings were as important to him as. . . well, actually, they were more important to him than anything. And that's not something Clay ever thought or said lightly. "I'm going to take a break, okay?" So he opted for the safer version, taking an unscheduled break. Which, in it self, he knew you would be slightly suspicious of as Clay rarely took unscheduled breaks. "Oh!" You would pause for a moment, "okay?" Clay knew by the look on your face you were a little baffled but his sudden statement, that or concerned that he needed a break so out of the blue. Yet, when you didn't stop him, Clay took it as a signal that he should probably go instead of sitting here and staring at you. He hadn't even realized he had been doing that! You were certain you've never seen Clay leave the office that quickly, especially after nearly stumbling on himself to get to the door not even a foot away from the desks. You scrunched your eyebrows before slowly turning back to your work, which now seemed like a jumble of numbers in front of your eyes as you couldn't help but think about the way Clay left. His suddenness, his stumbling. . . Clay never stumbles! Tapping your pen against your desk, you couldn't help but hope you didn't ruin your relationship with the one Troll who understood you.

@!; "VIVA!" Okay, maybe bursting into Viva's home yelling and slamming doors wasn't the most logical approach to getting her attention, or how to bring up this situation Clay found himself in. And maybe it also wasn't the best solution to scare her, seeing as Viva now had fallen off her ladder and was bundled up in a pile of candy bracelets. "Oh.." Clay realized those facts now that he saw what situation he had put Viva in. He was quick to rush over and help Viva out of the mess he had created. "Sorry!. . . sorry." Though, thankfully, Viva didn't seem to mind. In fact, she was more concerned, a little curious, at Clay's current state. She was sure she had never seen the Troll so frazzled as he was now, and that's saying a lot seeing she's seen how 'boring' Clay can be in the shared admin box-office. "Clay, are you okay?" Viva would ask, frowning her eyebrows up, as she pushed away some of the hard candy at her feet; clearing a way for her to lead Clay and her towards her set of round couches. "I can't recall when I've seen you like this. Like, ever, dude." And despite her concern tone, Viva kept a small warm smile on her lips as she sat the two down on her couch; Keeping a gentle and comforting hand on his shoulder, feeling like he might need all the comfort he can get at this moment. Hell, she didn't even have to feel it to know he needed comfort! The moment Clay sat down he grew this pensive look, and his leg began to bounce in an anxious way. It made Viva grow a little nervous seeing her friend like this. Clay was usually so cool headed and strong, yet something was really prodding at him right now if he was this anxious about something. Or maybe he was upset. Or confused. Or concerned. Viva could slightly pick out a little bit of everything in Clay's expression, which made the pit at the bottom of her stomach grew. "Viva..." Clay started, in which he earned a nod and a hum from Viva. A small encouragement to go on, that she was listening. Yet Clay didn't know where to begin or how to begin or how to even frame the words he wanted to say. Surely if he told Viva about the way you had been last week she would be overly concerned about your mental well being, as she should. Yet then she would probably march over to the building and demand that you should take a break, get some rest, and return to work in 2-3 days time when you're feeling better. That, while Clay would appreciate Viva's concern (as it would also justify a little bit of his) , he knew couldn't happen. You're a smart Troll! You would piece two and two together and realize that Clay had gone to Viva for help and told her what happened and you might not trust him again! Thus he had to beat around the bush, despite knowing that Viva might also piece two and two together. . . or somehow call Clay out on his dancing and choosing words. "Viva I," And there was the choked up feeling again. "What I'm about to tell you, you have to promise me you cannot tell anyone. And when I mean you cannot tell anyone, I mean not a soul! I'm coming to you for advice and-" "Clay, I pinkie promise I won't tell a soul what you tell me." Viva cut Clay off, accidentally, yet firmly and sternly raised her pinkie up for Clay to accept. Pinkie promises were a serious deal. And when Clay, who sat there for a moment in thought, accepted Viva's pinkie promise, Viva added on, "I don't have anyone to tell this to anyway." with a smile and a small snort. Though Clay only frowned and scrunched his nose, "Viva I'm being serious here!" "Right! Right. Sorry. You have my full attention, I swear." Viva mumbled, noting the uncharacteristically stern way in which in which Clay spoke. Clay had always been a serious man, but he usually had a more light hearted tone when he spoke; It's how many Trolls in Put-Put Village had realize that Clay wasn't stuck up or boring, yet just a little different.

"Viva, I. . . the other week I found (y/n) in a desolate state. And I mean a really horrible state." Clay started, feeling horrible for telling Viva about this without your consent or even knowledge. Yet he needed help to be able to help you, and he needed it bad. "She was all shaken up and she was sobbing and shaking and- and I didn't know what to do at the time. So I helped her, at least I tried in the only way I knew how and that was through physical comfort and reassuring words and it worked! I think. "But, like, she hasn't talked about it since that day. She hasn't even mentioned anything about it and I'm getting worried about her and about the next time she will hurt like that. Viva, I don't want to see her hurt but I can't help her if she doesn't talk to me about it or doesn't want to talk to me about it. And I want to bring it up but I don't know how to. . ." Viva sat and listened as Clay just spewed everything bottled up in his big ol' brain for the first time since the event. It took a lot out of Viva to not mutter a comment, some sort of 'oh wow', at all the sudden information. But she did it! And now, the tougher part of the whole ordeal, giving Clay his needed advice.

@!; Clay came back into the office the day after his five minute break, which had you all nervous seeing as he never returned when he was meant to; something widely out of character for Clay. He tended to be rather punctual, especially when he leaves unfinished work at his desk and goes to take a break. Sure, he might not be jumping to rush back into work like you did, but he wasn't stalling either. Unless he had stalled to not come in yesterday after his break so he didn't have to see you. Which could be a bigger possibility as Clay didn't say good morning to you as he took a seat behind you at his desk. Your shoulders slumped at the possibility that your scene last week could have really pushed Clay away, you had hoped he would never see you like that. See you in such a state where you couldn't even talk or get your words out. In such a state that had driven people away before because it was self inducing and they just 'couldn't stand being around a Troll like you'. "Hey!" Clay snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts, placing his hands firmly on your shoulders. Your eyes darted up to his, you didn't even notice the fact that you had began to shake a little or how your eyes began well up with tears. But Clay noticed. Of course he had to notice. "Hey, hey, it's okay, what's wrong?... you know you can talk to me." Clay frowned, his tone laced with worry at seeing your state. Though all you could do was turn your head from him in some sort of feeble attempt to hide the tears you were wiping away. Clay frowned more at that, it hurt him to see you trying to hide away your tears from him. It hurt him to see that you weren't trusting him with your feelings, no matter how big or small they were. It hurt seeing you so upset that you began to choke on your own tears, which turned into sobs due to whatever horrible, nasty, horrific thoughts you were having in your head. He would give your shoulders one good rub before he reached up and cupped your cheeks, gently pushing your hands to the side so he could swipe your tears away with his thumbs. You tried pulling away from him, tried to hide the frustration and the unfair thoughts that stabbed your heart. Yet, no matter how much you tried to pull away, Clay's touch only pulled your heart towards him. And such, you found yourself sitting basically next to Clay, knees touching as you both sat as close as possible to each other while being on two separate chairs. It was quiet moment. With Clay gentle rubbing your tears away, cupping your cheeks like you were the most precious thing in the world to him. And you sitting in front of him, knees touching while you slowly looped your legs under Clay's. It just felt right, you didn't know why. Though you could see the suprise in Clay's eyes, he didn't reject your feet-holding. In fact, he gently rubbed his foot against yours in an attempt to soothe and comfort you. And it worked; for a moment, all those thoughts that clouded your head slowly left and let you just live in the moment of Clay's touch. In the feeling of his warmth and caring little gestures.

And the silence carried on for a moment, as Clay gauged how you were fairing before he dared to speak up. "Are you alright?" You only softly nodded in response, though Clay saw the way your frown spread further on your face. You were alright, for now, yet he could tell you were being troubled; horribly troubled. He wanted to help you. And he needed to be strong for you, no matter how much it was killing him inside to see you like this. "(Y/N). . . you can't keep going like this." Clay spoke again, causing you to glance up at him. You gave him a confused face, raising your eyebrow, before you realized what he was talking about. You felt your stomach churn as you waited for those nine words: I don't want to be friends with you anymore. Yet, they didn't come. Instead Clay took in a small breath before he continued with widely different words than what you were used to, "Please, tell me what's going on. I can't bare to see you so upset and down. I love your smile and the way you laugh, and I want to help you feel happy and overjoyed and fantastic and every other positive emotion that you deserve to feel. You're amazing so please, please let me help you..." And Clay waited for your response, wiping away any tears that fell down your cheeks attentively. He wasn't sure what to expect in response to you, this was new territory for him and he just hoped for the best. "So you're," And then you paused, taking a moment to collect your thoughts. Clay noticed the way your eyes flickered to the side, nerves pilling up in her by the second; He tried calming them, slowly tracing fluttery circles against your cheek with his thumb. He wanted you to remember he was here for you, that you didn't have to do this alone. Though he could see the doubt weaving in your eyes. Clay frowned as you wouldn't meet his eyes again, even more so noticing as you squeezed your hands together as though you were trying to crush them. In so, Clay moved one of his hands down to cup over yours. He didn't know was he was entirely doing. He was just trying to do what Viva had advised him to do; To be patient, to just sit and listen, and to take a notice on how you seemed to be fairing during the whole conversation, body cues and what not. Hopefully, Clay was doing enough to help you. That's all he wanted. "Clay I-" You let out a shaky sigh, feeling his thumb gentle brush against the top of your hands. "I'm sorry about... what happened. I didn't ever want you to see me like that and it's just, it's hard sometimes? I don't know. I just. I just never wanted to worry you I guess?" "Worry me?" Clay wasn't sure what he expected, but this wasn't on his predicted list. But, then again, Viva did mention something regarding your past and he should have taken that into consideration more than other factors. "(Y/N), I'm worried about you every day." "See and that's not what I want to happen because then you're just going to wear yourself out and!-" You began to ramble, Clay could tell old memories and thoughts were spiraling back in. He knew it was rude, to cut you off when you were opening up to him, but he needed you to let him finish. "Hey, hey listen to me! (Y/N).. I worry about you not because of last week- well that might have caused me to worry a lot, but not in the ways you think!" Clay paused, attempting to find his words. "(Y/N)... I care about you for more reasons than that. I care about you because you're an amazing person, because I want to see you happy, because I absolutely adore you. "And I know things might have been different in the past, but please trust my words when I say you are literally the most important person to me." At some point in his small ramble, Clay had taken both your hands into his and interlocked them. They rested at your knees, your attention drawn down to them for a second before glancing back up at Clay as you tried to process what he had just told you.

But, he continued, "And I know sometimes this job and life can be tough and it feels like you're letting everyone down and you can't do anything other than fail, but you cannot focus on that. I know you're strong, and I know you're more capable then what you might feel at times. You just... need someone to lean on and someone to trust without any sort of fear. "So please, let me be that person for you. Let me be able to listen to that mind of yours so you don't have to bear it alone." Clay smiled softly, having opted to look down at your intertwined hands due to nerves himself. He couldn't help but turn your hand to face his, slowly spreading open his hand to compare your palm sizes. He didn't notice until you started sniffling that you had began to cry again; In which he jerked his head up to look at you, seeing tears stream down your face by the dozen. Crap! Did he say something wrong? Clay let go of your hands and darted them up to start clearing your face of tears. "Hey, don't cry please, I'm sorry! Did I cross a line or say something wrong or?-" But you only shook your head, laughing a little at Clay's worry and panic. He felt as you cupped the back of his hands, which he tried to pull away in confusion when you had laughed, and placed them back against your cheeks. You leaned into his touch, and you seemed okay despite all the tears that ran down your cheeks. Clay was thoroughly confused yet kept his hands on your cheeks and his eyes on you, wondering what he could do to help. He didn't mean to make you upset. But you only laughed a little more before quizzing him, "Clay did you just confess to me?" "I- what?" Clay drew back a bit, his eyes widening as he tried to recall the words he had used to soothe you. He grew sheepish in finding the way he had worded things, now noticing it sounded like a confession more than friendly caring words. Clay's ears filled with you bursting out in laughter over his sudden realization, and despite how embarrassed he was he wouldn't have it any other way. He loved the sound of your laughter and he's been dying to hear it for about a week now; And it felt better knowing that he made you laugh. "I did.. didn't I?" Clay nervously chuckled along side you, rubbing the back of his heck with a hand he had drawn out from yours. And despite the stuffy and depressing feelings that had filled the little admin office before, all that could be felt in this moment was something kin to the only type of happiness your second half could bring. You took Clay's hand off your cheek and intertwined your fingers so you could hold his hand properly. "Would it be crazy to say that I accept this backwards confession?" "As long as you're ready to start trusting me with your emotions and we start working on improving your little habits." Clay quipped with a cheeky smile, which you hadn't been expecting. Yet you couldn't help but grin back at him, "Is that a pinkie promise I hear mister?" "To what? Love and cherish you?" Clay held out his pinkie to you, "Because I wouldn't want anything more than to be by your side, through the boring admin duties and all." You held out your own pinkie, wrapping it around Clay's as he did the same. "Then it's a promise."

.ᐟ this work is published and owned by @vacayisland. please do not plagiarize, copy, or steal this work; like, reblogs, and saves are appreciated :D

#clay trolls x reader #trolls clay x reader #trolls band together #brozone x reader #dreamworks trolls #trolls #trolls fandom #trolls 3 #trolls dreamworks #brozone #clay trolls #viva trolls #trolls movie

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breannasfluff · 7 months

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Early Riser

AO3 Link

It’s five a.m. when the chain stumbles out of the portal. Well, actually it’s four minutes past five and counting seconds, but Time’s pretty sure no one cares about that. It was somewhere in the middle of the second watch when the portal appeared on the opposite side of their campsite.

Warriors, who was on watch, bore it with the grace of someone used to terrible hours in the army. Those that were woken up were in…less useful states. Wind was mostly asleep standing upright. Legend’s glare could light rain on fire and Hyrule’s arm around his waist might be the only thing restraining him.

Four drooped against Sky, who was also mostly asleep. Maybe he’s gained the ability to sleepwalk; Time wouldn’t put it past him. It takes him three slow blinks to claim the era. “We’re in Skyloft.”

Time doesn’t point out that this is obvious as the predawn light is lighting up the clouds. A cold wind bites at his fingertips; no wonder the chosen hero wears so many layers up here.

“Why is it so early?” Wild burrows into Twilight’s arms—ah, he’s trying to get into the wolf pelt. His successor isn’t magnanimous enough to give it up but wraps Wild up in his arms.

“Aren’t you made for early mornings?” Legend glares around Hyrule. “You’ve got a shit sleep schedule.”

“Just because it’s bad doesn’t mean it’s a choice.”

“Sleep, asshole!”

Time sighs and says, “Language, vet. I know it’s early.”

“Self-righteous piece of—”

“Legend!”

His only answer is a feral hiss. The vet is not pleasant without coffee in the morning. Time turns his attention back to Sky, who’s still staring blankly. “Where can we go this early?”

“The market—” a yawn interrupts him. “The market is setting up by now, so we can hang out there. Or we can try the Academy.”

“Which is closer?”

“Market.”

Time waves Sky forward, then leads the way when the hero doesn’t move. “Market it is for now.”

The cloth walls of the market block out the chill, although it’s still dim inside. They congregate in a corner, still yawning.

“Good morning! Oh, look at you all! Link! I’ve missed you!”

Time drags his attention to the approaching girl who has, frankly, far too much energy for this time of day.

“Hey, Zelda.” Sky yawns halfway through and slumps into her hug.

“Aww, who’s a sleepyhead?”

“It’s like, dawn. That’s when people sleep, Zelly.”

“Nonsense! This is the perfect time to get up and get going for the day! Smell that crisp air?” She takes a deep breath to demonstrate. “We just need to get you all moving, you’ll see.”

Legend’s moan is full of so much pain that Time whips around. Did he miss an injury? Did something happen after they landed?

The vet does look physically ill as he says, “Oh no, you’re a morning person!”

Hyrule pats his shoulder. “It’s okay, Legend. Remember, Sky has to deal with her forever.”

Zelda makes a face, then makes another when Sky only sighs sadly instead of defending her. He nuzzles her shoulder. “I’ll bear the burden. Learn to sleep through it.”

She steps back abruptly, letting Sky fall to the ground. “Well. Some of you don’t appreciate the benefits of a good morning.”

“Zelly! Why?” Sky rolls on the ground, arms wrapping around her ankle. “Do you have no pity for your hero?”

Legend steps forward, possibly deciding Sky needs backup. “It was the middle of the night when the portal came! Do you know what’s important? Sleep!”

“I like waking up early,” Twilight pipes up.

“Shut up!” No less than three glares are turned on him, and one from the champion still leaning into his fur.

Zelda senses an ally and zeroes in the rancher. “You get it, right?”

“Yeah. I help out on the ranch so there’s no late mornings for me.”

Wild, unwilling to be pulled into the discussion, leaves the protection of Twilight’s fur and barrels into Legend and Hyrule. They easily absorb him into their group and slump against each other.

Time watches the group drift around, blinking slowly. Zelda and Twilight’s conversation grows more animated and starts to pull in those heroes who are at least functioning. Good, they can take care of themselves.

Leaning against one of the tent poles, Time lets his eye slide half shut. It was the middle of the night when he got up. Safe in Skyloft, he can afford to be a little lax. Actually, the Academy has that great bathhouse. Maybe an early morning bath?

It’s too bad Malon isn’t here. Or if they had a bathhouse like that in their era. Large pools of water…steam from the fire…yes. Just the two of them alone. He could help her wash that beautiful red hair.

Time shuts his eye fully, losing himself to a drowsy fantasy of warm water, soft hands, and carefully detangling hair. Maybe he can rub her shoulders; Malon pushes herself too hard on the ranch.

After the bath they could get breakfast…maybe ride on a loftwing…

“Time!”

He jerks and whacks his head on the pole. Zelda is grinning at him. “You awake, hero?”

“I was thinking.”

“Mmm. With your eyes closed.”

“That’s the best way to think.”

She rolls her eyes, but gestures. “Come on, let's head up to the academy. You can either stay up a bit for breakfast or go back to sleep.”

The word sleep has the magic effect of motivating the other heroes to brave the chill morning air. They troop out of the market and up the hill to the Academy. Sky keeps Zelda tucked against his side; cape wrapped around her shoulders.

Time smiles to himself as he watches them. They aren’t like he was with Malon, but that’s okay. What they have is pure and sweet. When he first started courting Malon…well, he was a mess. It’s a miracle she put up with him, much less agreed to marry him.

“Good morning! Oh, Link, it’s good to see you! And friends! What a delightful surprise this morning!”

A booming voice breaks him out of his thoughts and inspires groans from the heroes.

Legend goes back to practicing his fire-setting skills through glares. “Of course, Zelda’s dad is a morning person, too. Sky, your kids are cursed.”

Silently, Time has to agree.

#flufftober2023 #alt-morning person #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu flufftober #breannasfluff #mywriting #lu time #lu legend #lu sky #lu sun #lu wild #lu twilight #lu hyrule

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luvtonique · 6 months

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I'm just gonna up and say it.

I'm gonna be real. It's something too many of you need to hear.

And it's time someone told you.

If you are made aware of a violent and bloody war, where people are being slaughtered, killed, raped, tortured, having their children killed, having their homes and families destroyed, having their lives taken...

And you see it as an opportunity to "choose a side you support" and put their nation's flag on your profile in support of them, and condemn people who don't support the same side as you?

If you are actively looking for reasons to support your 'side,' making excuses on behalf of bloodshed, arguing about what's 'justified' or 'a result of provocation' to further advocate for bloodshed?

If you ask people which side they support and know deep down that you will be viciously angry if they say "Neither" "I want this violence to stop" or the opposite side of the one you support?

I'm sorry.

But you are a fucking monster.

I have to say this. I literally can't keep reading posts from people fighting over whether they support Israel or Palestine, or even Ukraine or Russia.

This isn't fucking Esports you actual psychopaths! This is war and people are fucking dying! If you are celebrating when you hear "Ukrainians kill 1000 Russian soldiers" or "Palestinians kill Israeli children" you are literally a fucking monster. You are celebrating death, you are celebrating bloodshed, how the fuck do you look at yourself in the mirror and see anything other than a psychopathic death-obsessed twisted individual staring back at you?

You are sick. End of story.

Holy fucking lord I can't believe you fucking monsters so regularly celebrate slaughter of people. These are people, these are lives, these are human beings being fucking killed and you're waving around a flag like you're cheering for a sports team what the

ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

From the bottom of my heart I hope that you all stand up right now, walk to the mirror, stare into it, and ask yourself, truly, deeply, if this is the person you really want to be. Someone who argues with people about why one side or the other is the 'good' side in war. Someone who actively looks for reasons to forgive the horrible violence happening in our world that's ending thousands and thousands of lives.

This isn't even just for war. Violence in general.

Stop it. Stop thinking there's a good side. Stop thinking violence is justified. I don't care what you fucking think about "the other side" and how it's "okay to punch them," you're a fucking freak of nature looking for any reason you can to justify violence as long as the violence lines up with your personal political views. You are just a fucking sick person.

Someone had to say it. You had to hear it. And I know damn well it's gonna fall on quite a lot of deaf fucking ears because social media is just full of you violence-obsessed genocidal fuckwits.

I already know the replies I'm gonna see.

"But what about if the person being killed is a <label> or voted for <name>? It should be okay to advocate violence against them"

"Oh so it's okay if x kills y but not if y kills x?"

"Wow I can tell what side you chose <clown emoji>"

I know it. I can feel it. I can feel you Tumblrites seething from reading this, from being told the truth about how much of a psycho you are, and you're conjuring every bit of your smug energy, looking into the void of your mind to find the perfect end to a sentence starting with "Wow it's almost as if" so you can "Own me" instead of taking your hands off your keyboard, standing up, thinking for one second about who you are and what your morals are, and deciding to stop advocating violence in any form.

And to the select few who read this and go "Yeah I already don't advocate violence and I'm already a person who just wishes it would stop instead of taking an opportunity to attack people and feel justified in my attack" then you're fine. You're a good person. Go get yourself a nice piece of butter toast or like make some soup you've earned it.

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parkinglotdelulu · 7 months

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bf!skz x gn!reader - small romantic gestures 🧸

a/n: Well...its been a few months. So many ideas, never any motivation to write. Oh well! Enjoy! 🌞 tw: none! word count: 769

Chan

I think Chan would be the type of person to always be offering you his sweatshirt. It’s cold? You're uncomfortable? Tired? Sad? Chan is there ready to give you his hoodie. You don’t even have to ask for it. At this point he starts bringing your favorite sweatshirt with him wherever you guys go, just in case you need it. Honestly I think he just likes to see you in his clothes. When he leaves for tour, he will most definitely leave you some of his clothes so it feels like a piece of him is still with you.

Lee Know

I feel like Lee Know is the king of small romantic gestures since he is not super touchy or expressive about his emotions. But I think the most notable would be how he takes care of you by making you food. To him making you your favorite meal is equivalent to saying ‘I love you’. He always makes sure you’ve eaten and will even pack you a lunch for work. At the end of the day you're left with a full belly and warm heart.

Changbin

Changbin is the type of person to not let you open your own door. He has to open it for you. He is gonna give you the princess treatment. You open the passenger door for yourself? No. He will close it and then reopen it. He will stand there and pout at you if you don’t let him open the door for you. “y/nnn why would you do that.” It’s so adorable that you definitely do it just to see his reaction, but you’ll never tell him that.

Hyunjin

Hyunjins loves to bring you flowers. Sometimes it’s as simple as a singular rose, other times he buys you a whole bouquet. It’s almost never the same flower. Always bringing you something new. He will mostly buy you flowers when he knows you have a busy week or for a special occasion but sometimes you find flowers being delivered to your work for no other reason but the simple fact he loves you. And when he brings out a painting he made for your anniversary filled with all of the different kinds of flowers he’s gotten for you, you're bound to cry.

Han

Han is a huge anime fan okay, this man is obsessed but when a new episode if y’alls favorite anime comes out he waits to watch it with you. The first time this happened you fully expected him to have already watched the episode so when you see him again you are very surprised. “You waited for me?” “Yeah of course I did!” He said it like he was shocked you’d even ask him that. Although it might not seem like a big deal to most people, Han waiting to watch something with you made your heart flutter.

Felix

Obviously felix loves touch, so if he can make you feel better while having the opportunity to be close with you, it's a win-win for him. After coming home from a long day at work, Felix notices your tense shoulders when hugging you. Without any hesitation, he’ll lead you to the couch and get to work. You’ve never had to ask him for a massage, he just does it. He’s super attentive and just wants you to relax. You almost always fall asleep, but he doesn’t mind, as long as you're there with him

Seungmin

Although Seungmin isn’t the best with his words he still wants to show you how much he cares. So instead of saying it to you, he writes you little notes. It could be in the form of a quick goodmorning text on days he leaves before you, little post-it notes he leaves around the house or every once in awhile an actual letter he sneaks into your purse. Either way you're left smiling at the note with his sweet words written down.

I.N

I feel like I.N would love giving you gifts. It could be as simple as buying some pens you liked. He’ll say “Oh you said you liked this, so I bought it for you!” It gets to the point where you have to be careful with voicing the things you like because this man will just go buy it for you. He’s actually crazy when it comes to this. But when he comes home so excited to show you what he bought for you, you can help but smile. You’ll lecture him on his spending later, for now you get to enjoy the stuffed animal he bought for you.

#stray kids #bang chan #changbin #hyunjin #han jisung #seungmin #lee know #felix #i.n #skz scenarios #skz #skz fanfic #skz imagines #skz fluff #kpop fanfic

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jealousjersey · 1 month

Text

₊࿔*:･୧”too sweet”₊˚࿔*:･୧

pairing // mike schmidt x gn!reader fluff

mentions // purely fluff just some nice and sweet content, pet names, reader is overwhelmed and stressed with everything and mike uplifts you, y/n isn’t mentioned, reader in college, reader and mike are in a situationship, mentions of being cheated on by past shitty gender unspecified partner

1.4k wc

tags // mike schmidt x reader fluff, purely fluff fic, pet names, slight angst

authors note // yes this is inspired by too sweet by hozier i’ve played it 18 times today (still listening to it) also per request (ty anon) fluff

school is kicking your ass. the lectures are too long and not informative at all, although you’ve had exams all week, they never seem to contain the information you’re supposedly learning.

you don’t even live on campus so you constantly feel like you’re missing out on important events and information. it’s truly exhausting.

that is until you get home, you’ve been in a situationship with this security guard worker, mike. you’ve talked and had dates, even had sex a few times but it doesn’t suffice you. you were made to be a lover, but right now you’re just a piece of ass. you want mike to love you, well, right now it feels more than a need. you want to finally receive the love that you give.

once your classes are done, you leave campus. taking the subway back to your apartment, luckily you don’t live too far, but not close enough to walk. and instead of wasting gas on driving to and from school, so why not take the safer option and just take the train?

as you arrive at your apartment, you finally get to lay down on your bed. you feel a tear fall from your eyes but you’re not sure why. today wasn’t too bad…but your body’s reaction is telling you different. you check the time and wait-

it’s the 2 year anniversary of your ex cheating on you, well atleast it’s the anniversary of the day you found out. you check the date and you get flashbacks, flashbacks to you coming to surprise them at their house for your 1 year together.

you arrive with tickets to some indie concert in hand. but instead you were practically hit in the face with realization as you saw her. she looked…perfect. you still wonder how they ended up with her. but let’s face it, you knew there was signs. but you chose to ignore them.

as of now, you’re laying face down on your bed, basically crying at this point. your breath hitches as you just lay there, helpless. until suddenly

knock knock

“hey? anyone here?” you hear a familiar voice enter your house. it’s mike schmidt, the man you’ve been talking to for a few months. wait a second-

“how did you get in?” you question. you thought you locked the door but apparently not.

“oh, the door was halfway open. wanted to check to see if you were being robbed” he says as he gets a good look at you “shit are you okay?” he asks worried, staring at your puffy face, your swollen eyes as tears leak from them.

his worry makes you feel better. you’ve waited on somebody to actually care about how you were, not just ask without remorse in their eyes. but mike actually cares, and it feels good. it feels like he gives you a little sliver of comfort.

“yeah, i’m fine…schools kicking my ass and-” you cut yourself off, he’s just a fling, why does he get to know your personal problems? but something inside you just tells you to come clean. “2 years ago today i went through hell with my ex. he cheated and things went…down from there you could say.” you open up, not wanting to share anything that could bring back more deep memories- maybe mentioning the abuse would be too far.

“oh baby, i’m sorry. you need me here with you? i can get take out and we can watch one of your weird cartoons” he says. you chuckle. does he mean anime? you don’t even watch it that much, maybe he’s basing his suspicions on the death slayer poster in your room that you got because it looked cool. i mean, you only watched a episode or two. it might make you a poser but it looks good in your room so what’s the harm?

“yeah, take out sounds great. and we can just watch a movie or something.” you smile at his request, your eyes still puffy. mike notices this and sits next to you on your bed, bringing a hand to your cheek as he gently brushes a thumb over your eye bags, taking in the darkness.

“i’m gonna be right back, you want take out chinese food?” he asks with a smile as he presses a kiss onto your cheek. you slightly nod.

“gotta use your words baby” he teases you. “yes, chinese food is perfect” you smile “amazing, i’ll be back in 30. don’t fall asleep” he says as he points a finger in your direction and smiles softly

30 minutes pass, you just stay in your bed until he arrives, he walks in without knocking. “baby, i’m here” he yells, arms full with bags of chinese food. god, how much did he get?

you silently laugh to yourself at the site: mike with both hands carrying giant take out bags that say “thank you” with a smile face, his keys on his mouth and his pinky closing the door. it’s…really funny to be honest.

you snap out of your daze and run to help him, taking the bags out his hands and placing them on your kitchen island. you see him huff out a short breath, taking the keys out of his mouth and hanging them on the key holder.

you place a short kiss on his lips “thank you love” you say. a blush creeps onto his face. he wonders why he’s feeling so intense at your small gesture, i mean it’s not like you two are official….

you two get cuddled up on the couch together. he always said your couch is weird, two seats with a middle compartment in the center, dividing the chairs. he says it’s not ideal for cuddling but you make it work, the chairs aren’t small per say, but you can both fit on k it with ease, kicking up the leg so you can both lay comfortably.

you put on some movie that was recommended through the roku app. it doesn’t matter what movie it was, it just matters that you had mike with you.

soon enough he’s yawning, the mint aroma coming from his mouth isn’t bad. it’s kinda nice. before he could close his mouth fully you kiss him gently, wanting more of that mint taste. he returns the kiss, using the same pace you started.

as you let go, you ask the dreaded question. “do you want to be with me? romantically?” he stops and freezes before speaking. “honey, you’re too good for me- i..i’m not the best person. you’re full of love, i don’t want you to waste it on me, you’re too sweet for me.” he says. you look confused, you know you want to love him. why isn’t he accepting?

“but i want to be with you. i want to love you, and if im being honest i think i kind of already do.” you say after a moment.

“you…really?” he looks confused, almost baffled by your statement. do you really want to love him? like fully and truly?

“god yes mike, I try not to call but there’s some days that i really, really want to. i want to hear your voice, i want to hear you laugh. hell, i even want to smell your cologne. but i stop myself because i know you want something casual.” you blurt out.

“who said i wanted casual? baby i was waiting for you to say that. i think ive been in love with you since we first started talking. it sounds cheesy i know, but i really do.” he responds, making your heart flutter for a moment as you blink, suddenly feeling his breath against your ear.

“i only want you” he whispers, putting emphasis on only. immediately you blush more than ever in his presence. “really?” you can’t help but whisper back. is this really happening? are you about to have a boyfriend?

“really. you are the only person i ever want to be with. promise” he says as he puts his pinky out, asking for yours. sealing it with a pinky promise. he knows you’re serious about those so him doing this for you means a lot.

“you’re the only person i want to be with mike, has been that way since i think i first spoke to you. were so dumb” you laugh.

“yeah but we’re dumb together” he chuckles back as he holds you closer to him.

“so….are we dating or what?” you ask, popping your lips after “so”.

“let me ask you” he fixes his messy hair and uses a takeout napkin as a tie around his neck. “would you like to date me” he says sincerely, still a hint of laughing under his voice.

“fuck it, sure” you laugh as you bury yourself into his neck.

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midnight-pluto · 5 months

Note

(Followers event) Might aswell start calling me the pjo asker, since I had my share of angst already, how about some Leo Valdez x child of Ares Reader, enemies to lovers Riordanverse and Headcannon or one shot form

Plot: Leo and reader always had a disliking towards eachother, part of it being due to their dads own dislike towards other but soon starts to like eachother s company then finally turns to lovers.

(This was rushed, sorry about that, you can ignore the plot part and get your own idea from the start)

Note: since you're starting to feel burnt out, you can honestly do this when you start feeling better.

LEO VALDEZ — headcanons

when did the enemies stop and the lovers begin?

CHAR: leo

PAIRING(S): leo valdez x child of ares!gn!reader

WARNING(S): swearing, googles translated Spanish (I chose French instead which I highly regret)

A/N: ur now dubbed pjo asker anon — dw about me i took a break yesterday 😌✨

it was easy for leo to automatically stereotype you based on just finding out what cabin you belong to alone

he hated how loud the ares cabin was — it wasn’t like the apollo cabin where Leo could listen to its soft Melodie’s while he worked, it was loud thumps and yelling disturbing his work zone

that caused him to always be snarky and passive aggressive towards the majority of your cabin, grown some guts after going on a quest and finding out he can set things of fire

you were clarisse’s second in command always ready to defend your cabins pride at a moments notice

it was always when clarisse wasn’t around when Leo decided to pick a fight with you — saying some backhanded things about ares kids

don’t get Leo wrong, he grew out of hating all ares kids phase in the first few weeks of arriving at camp

he just started to hate you

and you had already hated him

that caused a lot of tension between the two cabins as a whole and especially got in the way whenever capture the flag was involved

it was nearly a crucial unspoken rule that the ares and hephaestus cabin never be on the same team unless you wanted to lose

until someone made the mistake of doing just that

“Oh of course, you know exactly what to do! It’s not like you’re known for your brains,” Leo taunts while you were making plans and putting on gear.

“As if you could come up with anything any better!” you retort, “The only thing you’re known for is spontaneously combusting.”

“¡Cállate, pedazo de mierda!”

“What the fuck did you say to me fuckface?!”

“Nothing, just that you’re the most pleasant person to be around!”

did you learn Spanish just because you were really tired of not understanding Leo whenever he muttered and yelled in Spanish?

yes

yes you did

that wasn’t great for Leo though since he always mutters under his breath about how it’s getting tiring always having to argue with you and hating how’s he grown to get used to and admire the face that yells back at him

“Why do you even have anything against me?” you glare, walking around Bunker 9.

“¿Por qué me acostumbraste a tu cara?” Leo mutters back fiddling with some device in his hand.

“¿Cuál fue siquiera esa frase?” you remark blandly, seeing his shoulders drop in shock.

now Leo has to be extra careful about what he says when you’re around afraid that you’ll find out about the feelings he’s deemed stupid for you

however sometimes he forgets just how many people can understand you and him when these bits of banter echo across camp

so some campers have decided to take it upon themselves to translate every single thing Leo has said about you on a piece of paper and deliver it on your pillow — there were dates and everything

it seemed to be the one thing that caused you to try have a civil conversation with Leo with him actually returning your civility

“So what was this about you saying I have a pretty face?” you remark, flipping through the packet.

“That,” Leo pauses, “That was when the lighting was extremely good that day.”

“Uh-huh, yeah. Okay,” you nod along sarcastically.

the whole thing was extremely satire since both of you had too much pride to formally apologize to each other so it came in the form of not screaming across camp at each other

it was the best time your vocal cords have had in a while

not for the rest of the campers though

the yelling was practically a common occurrence and was a part of their daily schedule at this point so the silence that should’ve been comforting was now ominous

it got to the point where they all had a makeshift meeting where they had to figure out where both of you were and make sure nothing happened

until then they saw you walking out of the forest — presumably from bunker 9 — poking fun at each other and laughing good-naturedly

and so, the Aphrodite kids won the bet against the Apollo kids and gained a shit ton of drachmas

A/N: I’m sorry this was so shittily made 😭 but shameless plug once again — my 200 follower event has been extended to the end of November and will not be put to rest until I get at least 8/10 requests so feel free to request some more /nf <3

#rin’s 200 follower event [🧸]#rin’s headcanon’s 🌷#pjo asker anon #pjo x you #pjo x reader #pjo fanfic #leo valdez #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez x y/n #leo valdez x you #enemies to lovers

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hornyfor-redacted-onmain · 2 months

Text

Bamboozled

Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 15 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU

Masterlist | Next Part

The next morning was spent doing errands. You woke up to a few good morning texts that made you smile, and you let them know you were heading out to the store down the street. The street was slightly busy as it was early morning on a weekday, but it wasn’t crowded.

You managed to make it through the store with little to no issues, only slightly panicked when you messed up while thanking the cashier, but thankfully she brushed off the error and wished you a nice day.

Soulmates

Y/N Guess who only slightly embarrassed themselves at the grocery store ^^ Img.png Felix Oh no, what happened? Y/N Tried to say thank you. Accidentally said you’re welcome. Felix ∠ ( ´• ０ •`) 〴 Han Damn, that’s so embarrassing For you For me it’s hilarious Y/N ( ⇀ ╭╮↼ ) Chan Glad you’re back safe Sorry to hear about you embarrassing moment Minho Poor Jagiya RIP your dignity Funeral will be held at 8pm Y/N ( ง •` ⎽ ´• ) ง

You got back to your apartment and began putting things away only an hour after leaving, which left you with plenty of time to sort out all the things you had planned for the day, starting with your assignments for the week.

You received a text as you began to set up your computer and pull out the books you had bought only a week before you got onto the plane, but you forget about them for a few seconds and it isn’t until you get 6 consecutive notifications that you finally pull out your phone.

Changbin Hey, do you mind doing me a favor? Y/N Hmmm, depends on the favor

The other texts you received were a couple photos and selfies sent by Jeongin, and you smiled as you looked through a few of them. Most of them were obviously taken without the members’ knowledge, and you shamelessly saved a few of them and used your favorite selfie as your phone wallpaper.

Changbin Channie-hyung made plans to work later tonight, despite my best efforts to convince him to take a day off. You mind giving it a shot? Y/N What makes you think he’d listen to me? Changbin I figured you could persuade him more effectively. Y/N Hmmm. I might have some ideas in mind. Changbin Oh? Thought about it before, huh? Y/N NOT LIKE THAT! Get your mind out of the gutter! Changbin Kkkkk As long as it gets him to bed before midnight, I don’t care what you do. Y/N ( ￣ ^ ￣ ) ゞ

You then decided to thank Jeongin for the pictures by making yourself a breakfast full of his favorite foods, settling down at your desk while you ate to go through your email before you got started on your homework. You set a timer for 2 hours, working through as much work as you could with a few breaks in between, and pretty soon your alarm went off.

Double checking it was around lunchtime, you sent a quick message.

Y/N Are you busy right now? Chan Hmm, having a quick lunch with the boys. Why? Is everything okay? Y/N Can I call? Want to hear your voice.

Instead of a reply, you received a call from him, which you received with a smile.

“Well, someone was quite eager,” You teased.

“What can I say. I missed you too.”

“You saw me yesterday.”

“Hmm, but that was over 24 hours ago. It’s a long time to be away from my girlfriend.”

You let out a laugh. “Girlfriend? Awfully sure of yourself considering you haven’t actually asked me yet.”

“I haven’t. But a little birdie told me Seungmin already asked for us.”

“Oh?” You began to pace your room. “Doesn’t that technically mean only Seungmin’s my boyfriend?”

“Haven’t you realized sweetheart? We’re a package deal.”

That made you pause, and you were suddenly grateful that this conversation was taking place over the phone and not in person, because it allowed you to ignore your suddenly hot cheeks and act as if you were as confident as you wished you could be.

“Well, in that case, I think I deserve a nice night in with my lovely boyfriend. What do you say, want to hang out tonight?”

There was a pause on his end, and you could just about make out the distant chatter from the other boys. “I don’t know. I had some ideas I wanted to flesh out while they were still fresh …”

“Shoot. Are you sure I can’t convince you to change your mind? I was really looking forward to getting to spend some time with you.” You dropped your voice down to a seductive tone. “I promise I’ll make it worth your time.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I have some ideas in mind.”

“What kind of ideas?”

“Good food, good company, and a good night’s sleep. What more could you possible want?”

“That sounds like heaven,” He said with a smile in his voice. “I’ll agree on one condition.”

“Hmm?”

“Tell me which one of the boys put you up to this.”

You snickered. “Please don’t kill my boyfriends, babe. I prefer to have them around just a little longer.”

“Oh no, I mean to thank them. I was planning on spending the night with you anyways, as an apology for missing dinner last night, but I figured I could get a better deal if I convinced the others that I was going to work tonight-“ He trailed off.

Your mouth dropped open in shock. “You planned this!?”

“I planned on someone snitching on me.” His own voice suddenly dropped, and you felt shivers roll down your spine. “Getting to hear you practically begging for me? Oh honey, that was just the cherry on top.”

“You little shit,” You snapped back breathlessly.

Chan let out a chuckle. “I’ll see you tonight sweetheart.”

“My place or yours?” You wondered, twirling around on your spot with a smile.

“My place. If I have you all alone, I won’t be able to keep my hands to myself.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” You teased. “But your place it is. See you later, alligator.”

“In a while, crocodile.”

-0-0-

Y/N You’re too predictable And apparently, so am I :( Changbin ??

-0-0-

Using the key you had been given just the day before, you made your way into an uneasily quiet apartment. It felt wrong to be there by yourself, but you had a plan for a perfect evening, and part of that part was making sure that you had a nice warm meal waiting for you boys when they got back home.

You were planning on something simple, but also something you were sure everyone would like. You didn’t know if everyone would come around for dinner or if it would just be the 4 who lived there, so you made enough for 9 people and figured if there were leftovers they could always eat tomorrow.

And your timing was nearly spot on, because just as you lowered the heat to leave the food warm, you heard the front door click open. There was a soft chatter and a surprised hum from behind you, and you turned around with a smile.

“Dinner’s ready if you guys are hungry,” you said, and Jisung waddled over to you with a tired smile.

“Hi baby,” he said, wrapping his arms around you.

“Miss me?” You teased.

“Always.” He hooked his chin onto your shoulder, and you felt an arm reach out to pull the lid off the pan on the stove. “Ooh, whats this?”

“Chicken parm. You hungry?”

“Ahhh, you made food!?” Changbin’s loud yell made you jump, and you peeked around Jisung to wave at the other three who were piling into the kitchen.

“It’s ready, if you guys want to eat.”

You received a loud overlapping rumble of confirmation from 3 of the boys, and Chan gave you a knowing look when you winced at the sudden pitch in noise. He mouthed what you assumed was ‘thank you’, but you had to quickly look away to keep Hyunjin from dropping the plates he had been trying to grab despite you and Jisung standing in his way.

Jisung whined when you pulled away, and it was only with a promise to sit next to him that you managed to wrangle them all to the table.

The rest of the meal was surprisingly silent as the boys ate. You could tell they were tired, and you were thankful that Chan wasn’t going to actually be working late that night because he looked like he needed a good night’s sleep more than anyone.

“I’ll clean up,” You reassured the others when they finished. “You guys go get ready for bed.”

“Are you staying?!” Hyunjin piped up, giving you a pleading look.

“Sorry Hyunnie, I called dibs,” Chan said, patting the young dancer on the shoulder.

Changbin gave you a sour look and you laughed, knowing that he had undoubtedly asked Chan about your cryptic text and realized you had both been bamboozled.

Jisung let out a yell. “No fair! Why do you get to spend the night with them?”

“Yeah! What if I get lonely tonight?”

“Ah, Hyunjinnie! You can stay with me if you want!” Changbin chimed in.

Hyunjin made a face, leaning away from Changbin who was now making kissy faces, and shooting you a pleading look. You grabbed his plate and escaped into the kitchen, the sound of chairs scratching along the floor and pounding footsteps echoing down the halls.

“Everyday,” Chan sighed, joining you at the sink and placing his plate on the counter.

You glanced at him, smile tugging at your lips. “You poor boy. You look like you need a break.”

“Hmm, good thing I have a perfect escape,” He whispered, wrapping his arms around your waist.

The heat from his body soaked through your shirt and you leaned back, pausing in your dish washing to appreciate the feeling of content you experienced being in his arms, and you knew he felt it too when he slumped against you as his muscles relaxed. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, grip tightening for a split second before he pulled away.

“Move over,” He said, bumping you with his hip. “Let me help.”

“You don’t have to,” You reassured him. “I know you’re tired.”

“The quicker we finish this, the quicker I get to have you in my bed.”

You flushed at the subtle innuendo he dropped on you, and if it wasn’t for the giggle that escaped him when he realized it too, you would have thought it was on purpose. You bumped him back and the two of you made quick work of the dishes.

-0-0-

Something nudged your shoulder, and you jolted awake with a sudden inhale of air. There was a blurry smudge of a person leaning over you, and your heart was beating loudly in your ears until your eyes adjusted to the dark and you realized that the smudge was Jisung, frozen with his eyes wide at having been caught. You let out the breath you had been holding.

“Sungie,” You groaned, and Chan shifted from behind you. “Seriously?”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t notice until tomorrow.”

You closed your eyes, lifting up the blanket in a silent invitation, and Jisung took the win with grace as he slid under the covers. Chan huffed out a laugh in realization, warm air hitting the back of your neck. Jisung pressed his back against your front, and you wrapped your arms around him, the warmth from both sides slowly pulling you back to sleep.

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itsabouttimex2 · 5 days

Note

Amazing job at writing the new part as always! It flows nicely and you can easily tell how familiar Macaque & MC without making him OOC. Honestly i admire your grasp at these characters and ability of doing something as complex as interactive series. I'm kinda curious how do you plan things and how far ahead but only if you want to share it ofc.

Going back to the actually piece- it actually made me look up the meanings of flowers despite the original thought of it only being because of the color association. Two first flowers have pretty easy and basic meaning. I can see why the edgy (/affectionate) mentor wouldn't want them near his home.

Freesia - friendship trust innocence

yellow roses - friendship, joy and similar stuff

The one choosen by Macaque are a little more interesting.

Tansies - immortality, resistance, "I declare against you", sometimes used in medicine

black dahlias - (warning of) betrayal, sadness, (not specified black ones: dignity, good luck, elegance)

I'm guessing the tansies are about him being bitter about the Wukong and their more practical use. Black dahlias could be about Monkey King but also some kind of foreshadowing depending on our choice. Or I'm reading into it too much.

Hopefully I'm not overthinking it or completely missing the point (and if i am, I'm really,really sorry). Just wanted to share it in case other readers didn't look it up + i know some people like to see their work analysed but if i'm going to far please let me know! Have a good day/night! :]

(Sorry for any mistakes and feel free to delete the ask)

Oh my god, thank you so much! That’s such a sweet thing to say! (Please never stop analyzing my work I put a lot of effort into it💜💜)

🌻🌻I’ll start with flowers: you are right on the money here. Freesia especially are bright and colorful blooms, coming in many different gorgeous colors. Yellow roses are just the same, bright and cheery and so similar to the sun.

And, given that freesia come in orange and yellow… it’s possible the potted plants were a living reminder of Sun Wukong that Macaque finally got sick of and ripped apart. Or he just took advantage of someone else shredding the innocent flowers and took something that Y/N worked hard on and changed it to his liking instead. (Written to be ambiguous as to which scenario occurred.)

Notably, the new flowers not only match his own personal feelings, but even his color scheme! Yellow, then red and black. Twice over do these flowers symbolize him, something he took and changed to make more suitable to his tastes and feelings.

But he’s not the one who takes care of them- no, it’s Y/N who is dedicated to seeing them grow.

His student tending and nurturing the flowers that represent Macaque, while Macaque destroys/allows the destruction of the flowers that represent his student. Huh. Funny.

Okay flower rant done.🌻🌻

Macaque is such an interesting character to write, given that there’s a spike of cruelty barbing out from almost every action he takes. I think a lot of people have forgotten that the man hasn’t had a redemption arc in canon- he displays zero regret for, say… manipulating and trying to kill MK. Or leveling the Dragon Palace of the East Sea. Or assaulting Tang, a strict non-combatant. Or holding Mei’s life hostage.

He doesn’t feel bad for doing any of these. If he does, he’s keeping tight-lipped about it. No apologies. No direct atonement.

And even on the extremely rare circumstance that he’s being “kind”, like deciding to stop torturing MK in Shadowplay, it comes across as almost “I’m bored with you, you aren’t fun anymore.”

He’s not a good guy. So even with Y/N, who he genuinely does care for, there’s this level of manipulation.

Like, he calls Y/N adorable, which sounds nice… but there’s almost a level of victim-blaming to it. No matter how roundabout his words, Macaque basically says to his own student: “If you looked different, people wouldn’t bother you, so let me change the way you look.”

And they trust him enough to agree.

Or letting them cook in fear outside his door when he’s clearly near enough to open it, but dropping the act when they start to break down.

He’s such an interesting character to write ugh I love it.

I had a lot of the routes planned pretty far out, actually, and I’ll give a few examples of what was planned:

Spider Demon Y/N was sort of naive and excitable, but was going to mature/sour after realizing that their beloved queen was, in fact, the bad guy. They were going to have to come to terms with her necessary defeat and their own part in betraying her, as well as living on after you’ve cut ties to your family. Then, readers were going to be able to pick one other henchman to convince to join the heroes.

Dragon Y/N was going to have to both gain Ao Guang’s (their father) approval to live on the surface, and decide how they felt about MK possessing the Ruyi Jingu Bang. They fought using two strings of beaded pearls, utilizing them as whips and grappling hooks to maneuver around the battle field. Also, they hated Macaque. Genuinely throwing hands on sight if they saw that edgy rat.

Heir/Proxy Y/N was going to be a pretty miserable and clingy person, having spent most of their life alone on account of both the LBD and Mayor’s influence. Overcoming their fears and anxieties of being unlovable was going to be a massive part of the journey, learning to love themself and be loved in turn. They were going to have to learn to master the powers forcibly implanted into their body, trying to prevent themself from being sacrificed for power to aid LBD’s onwards path to ‘destiny’.

Ne Zha’s Y/N was going to be cute and polite, very excited to explore the mortal realm outside the grasp of their overprotective mentor/brother. They were also going to have to deal with the first two lotus princes (also overprotective) and Ao Bing, who served as a dear friend.

Sun Wukong’s Y/N was going to be his estranged child who was bitter over ML inheriting the staff instead of them. They were going to despise him for never training them, having to find masters and teachers elsewhere all across the world. In turn, he was desperately trying to make amends and reestablish a strong bond with his cherished progeny, hoping to reconnect eventually.

Also Mei was going to call Y/N “Broth-Face”.

#Time Talks #Choose Your Own Adventure #A Brand New Journey

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controversial-blorbo-bracket · 10 days

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Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Kokichi Ouma from Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony vs Peter Pan from Once Upon A Time

(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. i will block you if you harass others in the notes, please consider sending your unhinged harassment to my inbox instead)

Propaganda under the cut, may contain spoilers:

Kokichi Ouma:

LOVE: - "hes a bitch and that makes a lot of people hate him and a lot of other people love him. no one can decide on his motives and i think thats kind of the point. i like him personally but hes a raging asshole <3" - "Not a single DR fan I've ever met is neutral about Kokichi, he's perfect for this poll. I think he's a clever character with consistent internal logic, and his interactions with the other characters are as compelling as they are hilarious. He looks like a dog squeaky toy, and he plots like Artemis Fowl. He's one of my favorite characters in the series and I love him dearly." - "NOBODY CARES ABOUT THIS BOY'S PSYCHOLOGY AT ALL. HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF AND HIS IMAGE AND MADE EVERYONE HATE HIM AND CONSIDER HIM A MONSTER ON THE SLIGHT CHANCE HE COULD USE HIS LIFE TO HELP EVERYONE ELSE ESCAPE AND SURVIVE AND NOBODY CARES. THEY SHOW HIS BREAKDOWN AND NOBODY BELIEVES HIM. I'M SO TIRED" - "not only is he a danganronpa character (inherently controversial) he is also the antagonist and constantly lying because That's His Whole Deal. people either love him or hate his guts. he's a little piece of shit. i would submit komaeda but i feel like views on him are more positive, generally. sorry i have bad taste in video games" - "he's a horrible little guy trying his best in not very good ways what more could you want" - "I don't know, people say he's badly written because they don't pay attention to his arc beyond the cartoonish facade he very obviously forces, and they don't like him because he caused someone's death which like..fair (he did feel super bad about it though so its fine.) Some people also don't enjoy his wonderful personality and think he's a mean piece of shit, which he is, but it's fine. They're just sensitive." - "I know people don't like him because he's like. a shittier version of Komaeda. But that's what's so GOOD about him. He's a shitty asshole of a person, playing pretend at being a villain because he's desperate!!! I think that's really fun. He's dooming himself and I want him to be okay after everything ends, but he dies so he can't even have that much :(" - "so i saw you got submissions for him. but not enough i need to submit him myself he is my favorite character from anything ever. he is the silly man he is so funny one time (actually, two times if you count one optional interaction) he asked a robot if he had a dick and it's absolutely iconic i love him"

HATE: - "(dangan spoilers ahead if that matters) look ok i didn’t originally feel too strongly about kokichi. i think his character is interestingly written (can’t say well-written bc danganronpa but yaknow) and he adds a lot of charm to v3. i understand why he’s popular- he’s one of the few characters in v3 to have both a personality and plot relevance. but oh my GODDDDD he is not a good person!!!! and i am so SICK of seeing him woobified into ‘ooh little baby he did his best he wasn’t doing anything wrong’ JUST BECAUSE you find out he was trying to end the killing game after he dies doesn’t mean he wasn’t incredibly fucked up throughout the game!!! like he was incredibly manipulative, a bully, encouraged infighting, Literally Orchestrated A Murder And Protected Himself From Danger By Getting The Big Stupid Sweetheart To Do It which caused TWO unnecessary deaths and- oh yeah- tricked everyone into believing he was the mastermind and the world had ended to make them so depressed that they just wouldn’t do anything anymore bc can’t kill someone if you’re rotting away in your room!!! AUGH like he’s a good character but it’s BECAUSE he sucks that he’s interesting. maybe this is just the komaeda fan in me but sometimes!!! the character is cooler when you understand that they’re a bad person. at least komaeda gets an actual redemption arc. kokichi’s just an asshole that the game tries to make you sympathetic for at the very end but he spends the entire game being an asshole so why the hell would i like him??? and then i go in a fandom tag and it’s constant unending ‘kokichi did nothing wrong’ the whole point of his character is that he does EVERYTHING wrong. i truly feel like the dr team was trying to replicate komaeda’s popularity but it was messy and poorly handled bc he’s not even a bad person in an interesting way like komaeda he’s just got trust issues that lead him to be stupid and An Asshole. then again people eat it up so what do i know lmao. i love to hate that little shit i wanna punt him into the goddamn stratosphere. score a field goal with that asshat. this is all lighthearted btw i love to die on small hills" - "WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE HIM OH MY GOOOOOOD HES SUCH A FLAT CHARACTER HES A SODA I LEFT OUT FOR 3 DAYS kokichi oma is easily the WORST written danganronpa character. it has been a while since i was into danganronpa so the details are a bit fuzzy but my rage has NOT subsided. following the success of Easily One Of The At Least Top Three Best Written Danganronpa Characters known as nagito komaeda, kokichi had some shoes to fill. he instead showed up in clown shoes. kokichis whole premise is that you dont know if hes lying or not, him being a huge clown and causing shit for like a good third of the cast. kokichi was a simple character. hes a bitch, he sturs shit up, he eat hot chip and lie, it was FINE. not GREAT, but FINE. and then he died. suddenly— kokichi was from modest beginnings. he was actually a genius who was actually doing all of this to save everyone. he was a martyr. they TRIED to follow up on the success of nagito komaeda, and failed miserably. the guy literally has nazi imagery he didnt need to be complex he just needed to be an asshole and force the plot. for assholes that force the plot with actual good depth, may i interest you in byakuya togami? for guys who lie all the time with actual good depth, may i interest you in sou hiyori the beanie man himself from your turn to die [similar genre]? seriously. you guys could do SO much better. just... get better taste oh my GOD JUST BECAUSE HES A TWINK DOESNT MEAN HES WELL WRITTEN" - "Omg I hate this guy,,, people either baby him & make him a uwu soft boy or a funky clown dude, & both those types of people forget all the things he has done??? even if he "redeemed" himself in the end (which i don't think he did--) that still doesn't negate all of the things he did before??? actions speak louder than words but he could never rely on that bc all the does is lie anyway-- i have some strong opinions about him."

Peter Pan:

LOVE: - "My propaganda is that like. Half of the OUaT fandom is OBSESSED with this guy and the other half write fanfiction about their self-inserts beating the shit out of him. The tumblr sphere might be a bit too biased in favor of love and I doubt he'll make it far but from what I've seen people either adore this guy or want him dead in the streets"

#poll #round 2 #11 submissions #1 submission #danganronpa #once upon a time #peter pan #kokichi ouma #drv3 kokichi #danganronpa kokichi #drv3 ouma #ouat #ouat peter pan

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whxtedreams · 4 months

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Chapter 8 - Please Don't Leave Me

Summary

You and Joel deal with your past losses.

CW // Depression, Anxiety, Mentions of Suicide (No detail and no attempts - just mentioned/implied), fluff, angust, hurt/comfort. - take care of yourselves

WC // 10,501

Now

Late Spring 2024

As you and Joel separate ways outside the gates of Jackson, you agree to meet at his house once you've cleaned yourself up after patrol. You had laid down by the lake for at least an hour and managed to take in the calmness and quiet peace it provided. The conversation between you and Joel had felt naturally effortless as you talked about small pieces of each other's history, making the time pass by quickly and comfortably.

You had both mentioned multiple times throughout your conversation that you should start heading back over to Jackson, but neither of you wanted to be the first to actually make the move. The two of you felt so calm and at ease while laying in the grass together, as though the rest of the world didn't matter as long as you were next to each other. It wasn't until the setting sun made it difficult to see his face that you even considered making the first move to head back toward Jackson.

You talk about Tommy finding you and Annabel, and how the time you spent as a trio was some of the best and worst moments of your life. You talk about your past life, every variation of yourself throughout the years. It wasn’t flattering but he listens like it matters, a soft frown settling between his eyebrows as you provide him a glimpse of the experiences you've come across. He seems to hang onto each and every one of your words, as if every detail is important to him.

You listen to him as he talks briefly about his own personal experiences, choosing not to pry about the life he had lived before or during the early stages of the outbreak. What he chooses to share with you is his choice, and you respect his choice in that matter. It's obvious that he doesn't feel comfortable divulging details about his life prior to the outbreak, so you leave that topic be for your conversation.

He talks of Ellie instead, how he was tasked with transporting her to the Fireflies and how their relationship blossomed from strangers to basically family as they travelled together across state lines. His deep care and affection for Ellie is obvious from the way he speaks of her, and you've seen for yourself how close they've become. It's clear that they care deeply for one another and that their relationship has grown greatly since their initial meeting.

His story trails off as he talks of his search for the Fireflies. You notice how he seems to struggle to retell the ending of their travels, as he turns his focus to the sky and closes his eyes, resting his arm across his face. You rest your hand on his shoulder and he faces you once more, confusion lingering in his eyes as if he's unsure of what to say next.

"You don't have to tell me anything, it's okay," you reassure him with a gentle smile, and his eyes shift to focus on your hand resting against his shoulder. You can see the struggle in him, the desire to speak yet something is preventing him from doing so. You can only imagine what is going on in his mind and heart right now as he stares at your hand.

“I’ve hurt a lot of people,” His face twists in regret and you nod in understanding.

"I'm not going to hold that against you Joel," you assure him gently, the assurance seeming to lift a bit of the weight he's been carrying. His sigh reveals a certain sense of relief, as if your words have eased the burden a little bit.

“You’re not?”

“No. I don’t care about the lives you’ve taken, Joel. I care about your life.” You whisper in confession.

“Oh.”

"I've hurt a lot of people too, if you've forgotten," you softly laugh, realising that you have in fact done the same. His laugh mixes with yours, easing the tension that had built between you for a moment. You both seem to understand that you've been through similar experiences, and that it's a part of the world you live in.

“Yeah, I guess you have.”

You think back on the conversation you had as you walk home, focusing on the distant look that faded across his eyes as he discussed his acts of violence. You knew that look all too well, and you felt the same as him.

It had taken a few weeks before the whispers began spreading around Jackson when you arrived, and how brutal and cruel some said you were. After the first few attacks of raiders, people began crossing the street when they saw you coming, groups leaving their tables in the mess hall when you sat down to eat.

They were scared of you.

You knew that those accusations were accurate, as the cult had awakened something in you and your fights with raiders had become less about simply killing them to inflicting them with as much suffering as possible.

You just hope Joel doesn’t get the same warm welcome you had.

As you begin to approach your house, you notice a flash of blonde braided hair. Emily kneels in the garden, carefully tending to the flowers while keeping her pale pink skirt from being dirtied in the process. Her blue cardigan is pushed up to her elbows to minimise the amount of dirt that is getting on it, even though her hands are already caked with dirt and dirt smudges cover her clothes.

She turns as she hears you approach and you can't help but smile as you notice the dirt smudges and the bits of grass that cover her face. “Hey Honey, thought I’d come over and pull some weeds before heading to the mess hall for dinner.” She explains herself and she stands from the ground, wiping her hands on her skirt and frowning at her dirty clothes. “Guess I got a bit carried away.” She chuckles and you shake your head as you stop in front of her.

Emily's use of "Honey" pierces your heart in two. It's been so long since you've heard her call you that, a name that used to warm you and bring you great joy whenever she said it. She used to call you "Honey" after you became her most valued customer, even teasing you for your obsession with her honey. That's how you two had met and even though this reminder feels bittersweet, the pain is still sharp.

After Annabel's passing and the end to your relationship, Emily had begun tending to Annabel's garden in her absence. She had claimed that it was her own way of keeping Annabel alive, and you didn't want to take that from her. Emily had been a big part of Annabel's life for years and had lived with the two of you for some time. You had been a little family.

That all fell apart when the Cult caught up to you, ripping your little family away from you. You had lost Annabel first, your world crumbling around you and your heart shattering, and then two months later Emily left. She knew the person that she fell in love with had died alongside Annabel, and that you would never be the same person again. That fact weighed heavily on your heart, and you struggled with the thought that she no longer loved the person you had become.

"Hey Em" you greet her, walking past her and heading upstairs to your home to quickly change out of the clothes you've been wearing all day. You're desperate to wash off the grimy feeling that your body has taken on throughout the day, and the clothes are already stained in dirt and bits of grass, similar to Emily.

You had expected Emily to return to the garden and continue tending to the flowers under lamplight as she normally would. Whenever you caught her in your gardens, she would greet you out of respect before turning her back on you and continuing her work. Instead, she breaks her pattern and continues the conversation. "You're back pretty late," she calls up to you from the bottom of the stairs, and you turn to face her with a soft frown. You're not used to being questioned in this way from her anymore and it catches you off-guard.

"Lost track of time," you reply with a dry and nonchalant tone. You shrug it off with an attitude of not wanting to explain yourself, and she shakes her head as if she doesn't believe your answer.

“You never lose track of time," she argues back and you feel your patience being tested. You sigh heavily, pinching the bridge of your nose and feeling your frustration building as you rest your hands on your waist, unsure how to deal with her and this conversation. “You’re always back before dark.”

"Why are you here Em?" you ask, exhausted from the day and your patience already being stretched thin. You're tired from patrol and are not up for arguing or explaining yourself to her. You just want to get away to your room and have a minute of peace to yourself before heading over to Joel’s for dinner.

"People have been talking," she begins and you groan in response, digging your fingers into your waist as if it will soften the blow of what she's about to say. Of course people have been talking, and it's exactly what you've come to expect from this small town. “About Joel,” she continues after your groan and you glare down at her.

She quickly avoids your gaze as if afraid of the reaction you will have to her words, instead beginning to fiddle with the bottom of her cardigan. "He's dangerous. I know he's Tommy's brother and you trust him because of that, but you need to be careful." She says, and your gaze hardens as you glare at her. Her voice is shaky and you can tell that she's struggling to find the words to convey her message. You angrily shake your head at her, as if furious that she even brought the topic up.

"Yeah?" you scoff, and she looks back at you with a look of shock on her face. "They said I was dangerous and you still fucked me," you reply back with the same vulgarity she gave you, hoping to get a reaction out of her by pointing out the hypocrisy of her statement.

"You're fucking him?" She questions you with a look of shock on her face. You dryly laugh, finding the way her accusation even more offensive considering how blatantly false it is. She doesn't let up, however, and her eyes narrow in contempt as she continues. "Is that why you're late getting back, too busy fucking him on patrol?"

"No Em, I'm not, but even if I was, it’s none of your business. You left me, remember?" you reply with a tired sigh, dropping your hands from your waist out of frustration that she's dragging you into this conversation at all. You want to leave and have a moment to just relax and unwind before any more stress gets added to the day, but she continues to push you, which is irritating you to no end.

"I still care" she argues back in reply and you're on the verge of screaming at her, but you decide to take a deep breath and let that anger dissipate into a small sigh that still holds a touch of annoyance in it.

You find that hard to believe, that she could muster up the will to care about you even though she left you at your lowest. You don’t want her to care. You’ve been doing just fine on your own.

"Just…Go home Emily." You let your shoulders drop and attempt to release the tension that had been building up as the conversation continued. You have no patience left and you don't want to deal with this, not after all that's happened. So, you turn around and open the front door, leaving her alone at the bottom of the porch.

With the door shut, you collapse against it, sliding to the floor and pulling your knees to your chest. You let out a shaky breath, a single tear rolling down your face as a sob escapes your mouth and you bury your head in your knees. Your whole body is shaking and the sound of your sobs echo through the otherwise silent hallway.

This house was so full of life, so full of smiles and laughter. Annabel running through with muddy shoes, you yelling at her to take her shoes off. The laughter that echoed through the house. Emily's singing as the two of you danced in the kitchen as you cooked. Those moments of playful arguments during board games and the sweet warmth that permeated the air.

You lost it all. The life you had dreamed of had slipped away like sand in the wind. Everything you held dear to your heart, everything you had planned for, all of it was gone. All that was left were memories and pain, constantly haunting you and weighing heavy on your heart.

At least you hadn’t lost Tommy. If you had lost him too, you know you wouldn’t be here today.

That thought launches your heart into your throat and you struggle to breathe, the overwhelming emotions shaking you as you continue to sob into your knees.

Joel can wait.

Joel is annoyed and concerned as he opens the front door and enters, expecting to hear Ellie's welcoming voice, but instead the only thing that greets him is silence. He stops for a moment and listens for any indication of movement, but he hears nothing but quiet. He sighs in frustration as he shuts the door behind him, irritated by how late she is. Of course she's not back yet, which is odd because she should have been back by now.

He's about to call out to her but catches her as she emerges from the back door. She freezes in her tracks upon noticing Joel, a nervous smile slowly creeping onto her face. They are both silent for a moment, both waiting to see what the other will say or do. It's an awkward moment of uncertainty, the silence heavy.

"Oh, hey Joel" she mutters quietly and sheepishly greets him, her words coming out slow and dragging. Joel crosses his arms and raises his eyebrow at her, a look of suspicion and curiosity crossing his face as he takes in her nervous demeanour.

"You're late." He says dryly and in an unamused manner, taking in the sight of her and the way she's acting with a degree of suspicion. She seems nervous or afraid, like she's trying to hide something, and he's not willing to let that go unnoticed.

"You're late," she mirrors, mirroring not only his words but his stance and tone as well from the other end of the hallway. He can see her mimicking him and it's irritating him more than he'd like to admit.

Joel breaks the tense gaze first after shaking his head, moving down the hallway and ascending the stairs. "We'll talk after I shower" he yells down at her from the top of the stairs, which is met with a groan and he can't help but smile.

He won't let her see that though, he needs her to know he’s not impressed.

The tight band of his watch feels suffocating as he enters his room and heads towards his walk-in closet. He struggles to take off the watch and his fingers feel sluggish and unable to work the latch, the feeling of it clinging onto him like a living thing. He leans against the shelves in the closet, leaning back onto the clothes that are hanging from the rack above him. He closes his eyes and holds his watch in his hands as he thinks about Sarah, his mind wandering back to happier times with her.

Living with Ellie is bringing back so many old memories he tried to bury. He refuses to let Ellie see him like this. If she knew what living with her was doing to him, she’d pack up and move halfway across town. She already wants to move into the garage, that’s far enough.

He doesn’t want Ellie to move into the garage, but it’s what she wants. She needs her own space. He thinks the garage is too far, but again, he won’t tell her that.

He leans forward and shoves off his bag on top of the adjacent shelving unit scattered with shoes that he had begun collecting. He fumbles as he tries to strip off his clothes and throws them into the hamper beside him. Every motion feels like a struggle, as if he's struggling to remain himself and not lose control. He feels like he's suffocating in his own skin.

He stumbles into the shower and lets the water cascade down his face. He closes his eyes as the water hits him, almost as if he's not there anymore. He thinks about how long he can just stay here, how long he can stay in the water before he's forced to face everything again. His mind wanders to you and he knows that he doesn't want you to arrive for the dinner he promised until he gets the chance to compose himself.

He hates feeling like this.

"Thought you drowned up there." Ellie's mocking tone grabs his attention as he enters the kitchen, and he can't help but shake his head and smirk a little at her teasing. She is seated on top of the island countertop, peeling an orange as if this is perfectly normal.

Joel is taken aback and surprised as he notices the black eye forming on Ellie's face. He takes a step towards her with the intention of reaching out to her, but she quickly pulls her face out of his reach and his hand stops in midair. It was as if she didn't want him to touch her or see how bad it was. His heart skips a beat as he's overcome by a sudden rush of concern for her.

"Who did that to you?" Joel demands, the sudden need to protect her overwhelming him and overpowering his previous depressive mood. He waits impatiently to hear her response, his eyes narrowing to focus on her face and try to read more details about what happened.

She shakes her head and avoids making eye contact with him, tilting her head down as her thick hair falls over her face. "Nothing happened." She lies, but her emotionless response tells an entirely different story. He knows that she is keeping something from him, but the question still remains. Who did this?

He's not about to accept an obvious lie.

"Bullshit Ellie, a black eye doesn't form out of nowhere." He snaps as he replies back with an edge in his voice, and Ellie's lack of reaction only makes him more frustrated. He reaches for her face and she allows him to touch her, lifting her head and pushing her hair out of her face so that he can get a better look. His chest tightens at the sight of the bruise forming and his brow furrows in concern. He isn't gonna stand by and let her make up this lie and keep something from him, especially something like this.

He notices that her hands have stopped peeling the orange and he can't help but wince as cuts and bruises litter her knuckles. "Ellie...." he starts to say, but there is a sense of sorrow as well as anger in his voice. He sees the injuries on her hands and they tell a disturbing truth of where that bruise is from.

"I don't like it here." She confesses softly, finally giving an emotionally honest reply but not one that's much better than her previous lie. Joel's heart sinks at her words, her emotions now finally in the open but for all the wrong reasons. He wants to take care of her and it's heartbreaking to see her hurting. He moves back towards the fridge and takes out a tray of ice along with a dish cloth from beside the sink.

"And that explains the black eye because..." He trails off, expecting her to finish his sentence. It could be that some part of her still doesn't feel comfortable enough to share that information with him, and at the moment he doesn't want to push her too hard. So, he accepts her vaguest of replies for the time being, letting his expression soften a little bit. The most important thing right now is making sure she's okay and that she doesn't have any other injuries he can't see. He scoops some ice into the cloth and wraps it up before putting the ice back into the freezer.

"They just kept saying how much of a monster you are." Ellie mentions, a sad frown appearing on her face as Joel applies the makeshift ice pack to her eye. He gently presses it against her eye, trying to reduce the pain and swelling. He knows that she is holding back information from him, and it pains him that she even feels the need to do so.

"People are going to say that stuff about me no matter where we go. Just gotta ignore them, kiddo." Joel replies with a sigh as he lets her take over holding the ice pack against her eye. He knows that it's inevitable that people are going to have their opinions, and the only thing they can really do is ignore them and move on with their lives as best they can.

The reputation he built in the Q.Z. would follow him wherever he went, his past life catching up to him no matter how hard he tries to leave it behind him. Whispers of his former actions and the life he once led haunt him and make it difficult to move forward in life. Losing Sarah had torn a hole in him that would never truly heal, altering his personality for the worse.

"It's not your fault they're weak fucks." Ellie mutters under her breath in anger and Joel manages to hold back a laugh. She is right, but that behaviour can't be encouraged. He has no choice but to keep a stern face and be the adult, even though he's not sure if she'd truly listen if he were to say anything at this moment.

He nods as he leans against the counter in front of her, gripping onto the edge of the counter. "I know, kid, I know." He replies back and he tries to find the right words to get through to her. "Not everyone has had to deal with what it's like out there. They just don't understand." He says. "And that doesn't mean we punch them."

It's a bit disingenuous of him to say that considering he has punched people for less in the past, but it's still the right thing to say right now. Because while Joel's actions from the past have been a bit rash, he won't encourage Ellie to behave in the same way just because he did. They both may know he's being a little hypocritical, but neither of them mention that.

Ellie goes back to peeling her orange and breaks off a piece to eat, focusing her attention on her fruit. “Whatcha say I go get food from the mess hall and we watch some movies tonight until we pass out?” Joel asks, attempting to lift her mood and her face lights up at the suggestion.

"Fuck yeah, we can!" Ellie cheers and jumps off the counter, her excitement and willingness to go along with his plan is infectious. Joel can't help but smile as he watches her, knowing that it was a good idea to propose even if her excitement is a little extra.

His head snaps back to the thought of you – shit he had plans .

Ellie walks out of the room as he continues, raising his voice so she hears him. “Would it be okay if I invite someone to join us?” He asks and she slowly reenters the doorway.

She asks about who he's thinking of inviting and he mentions your name, along with the original idea of you coming for dinner tonight. “Oh, you mean the girl with the cool burns? Yeah, sure.” She doesn't seem phased by your presence and agrees to the invite but her smirk and the way she's leaning against the doorway catches his attention. "So is that why you look so nice?" She teases him and he gives her a glare in reply, although she doesn't seem to notice or mind too much, it's just another sign of their familiarity and their close relationship.

“Shut up.” He mumbles and she laughs before leaving the kitchen again.

He realises that a considerable amount of time has passed since you separated at the gates of Jackson and he starts to wonder where you are. Did you forget about dinner? Or did you simply decide that you didn't want to join him and Ellie for dinner? He is hesitant to let his mind wander down that path of thinking and the reason as to why you haven't gotten here yet but a small hint of anxiety and worry is steadily growing inside of him as time passes.

Joel wanders into the living room and finds Ellie sorting through movies and he asks her to pick up three meals from the mess hall while he checks up on you since you still haven't arrived yet. He can see her about to complain but he quickly assures her that she can pick out whatever she wants and her mood instantly lightens at that.

The routes to your house are carved into his mind, so he's able to walk there easily and without having to focus too much on the actual path. Instead, his mind is in a flurry of thought and contemplation, his thoughts a mess of conflicting emotions and ideas. But there's one thing that comes to his mind the most and that is you. And if you don't show up soon, he might just lose his mind.

The front garden is messy with small gardening tools scattered on the grass and dirt spilled from the garden bed, and his gaze travels towards that first rather than the door which he knocks on. This is rather unlike you, but he hopes that there's no reason to worry about this odd behaviour. He raps his knuckles on the front door, awaiting your response with some hint of mild anxiety.

Had you been gardening? At this hour?

He listens for footsteps but the house is quiet.

He knocks again and calls out your name.

Quiet.

His hands shake as his anxiety builds to a fever pitch and he quickly turns the doorknob and opens the door despite this, calling out your name. When there's no response, he can't help but worry even more about the situation as his mind races with the myriad of possibilities that could have occurred.

The house is dark and dim, the only light available filtering in through the staircase leading to the second floor and illuminating the dark wood floors. His movements slow to a snail's pace as he enters and surveys the rooms surrounding him. He checks the living room ahead and finds no signs of you but does pause as he steps on the strap of your dropped bag, the contents spilling out at the bottom of the entryway.

He calls your name again, the anxiety in his voice clear as his eyes dart around the room in search of any other potential sign of your presence here. Everything in your house has its place and remains neat and tidy. Something about your bag carelessly being thrown aside in a rush doesn't seem right and his mind is running with all the possibilities of what may have occurred. He doesn't want to believe that he needs to worry, but he can't deny that his heart is starting to skip a beat at the possibilities playing out in his head.

He jogs through the dining room and kitchen, hearing the distance patter of the shower above and immediately hurrying to take the stairs two at a time. The pace does not relent even as he makes his way to the landing with the three doors and he opens the door to his right but quickly closes it upon finding nothing but an empty bed in the corner of the room. Then, he turns towards the two remaining doors and slowly opens the one on the right which he assumes to be yours as the other has Annabel's name painted on it. He calls out your name but is met with an eerie silence that seems to pierce his heart with fear.

He would have loved to have really taken in the interior of your room, but the clothes and weapons that are thrown around the room catches his attention first which distracts him from anything else. He hears a soft sob and his head turns to the door between your desk and record stand. His foot halts its progress and his hand grips the bedroom door handle tightly. It takes everything in him to continue forward and he's not sure what it is that he is about to find when he pushes the door open, pushing your shirt across the floor but the curiosity and concern forces him forward.

He calls your name again and proceeds to step over the gun and then knocks on your bathroom door. His heartbeat quickens as he hears another muffled sob from inside of the bathroom and the sound of the shower only adds to his concern. His body is trembling as he moves his hand to the handle of the door, unsure of how you will react to his intrusion but worried enough to push past that potential reaction. "Hey, I'm coming in, okay?" He asks nervously as he pushes the door open and reveals the inside of the bathroom.

As he pushes the door open, everything is cast in darkness and the sound of the shower grows louder as the door opens. He moves in and looks to the side to see you laying in the tub with your knees cradled to your chest and your back to him. His heart sinks to see you in this state as he walks over and leans over to turn off the cold shower. As soon as the sound of the shower stops, your soft cries grow louder in the silence and it makes it so much more difficult to bear the scene before him.

He kneels beside the bathtub and you don't move when he lays a hand on your shoulder. He expected you to flinch in response to his touch but your sobs only grew louder and more pitiful. "Oh, darlin’" he whispers softly as he stands back up, looking at you with a look of worry and pity. He rushes over to the sink and grabs a towel from the counter and turns back to face you. He kneels back down and leans down next to you in an attempt to comfort you.

He was just with you, you were laughing. You were okay.

What the fuck happened?

He carefully lifts you to sit in the bathtub, wrapping the towel around you and avoiding looking at your naked body. Your wet hair sticks to your face and back and the sight is enough to break his heart. Your state is pitiful and he can't help but feel an urge to shield you and shelter you from everything that's made you like this.

"I'm going to pick you up, okay?" he asks you and when you don't reply he wraps an arm around your back and another arm snakes under your knees. He grunts at the added weight to his knees when he lifts you and you wrap your fingers into the soft fabric of his shirt as your face nestles into his chest.

He nudges the bathroom door fully open and carefully seats you onto your bed. Your face remains angled towards your lap as you sniffle while he crouches in front of you and pushes the wet strands of hair back behind your ear. His gaze remains steady and concerned while he watches you try and compose yourself for a time while his hand still cups the back of your head and guides your face so that it's looking directly into his own.

"Have you taken anything?" he asks quietly and you sniffle, shaking your head in response. He stares at you for a moment before finally nodding when he's satisfied that you’re telling the truth. "Do you want me to go get Tommy?" he asks but there's no need as you violently shake your head in protest and tears start to flow down your face again. His heart breaks further at the sight of your despair as he watches as more and more tears fall from your eyes and your facial expression remains miserable.

"Okay, okay. No Tommy" he reassures you while he tightens his fingers on the back of your neck, gently wiping away the tears flowing down your face with his free hand. His gentle caress offers only minimal comfort as the tears continue to fall more and more and your expression doesn't change. It's hard to see you in such a distraught state but he can't seem to do anything to ease your sorrow.

Joel hesitantly stands and removes his hands from you, letting you slump sideways into your bed and curl against your knees much like how he found you in the bath. He tries to avert his eyes as the towel doesn't adequately cover you.

He moves to your dresser at the end of your bed and digs through your drawer. He grabs what he assumes is a pair of pyjamas, and then turns back towards you.

He places the pyjamas beside you and turns to leave the room, but just before he can reach the door, he hears your shaky, broken voice. “Please don't leave me.” Your plea cuts straight through him and shatters whatever's remaining of his heart into a million pieces. His hand falls away from the door as his eyes are unable to tear away from you as he turns to face you.

"I'm not goin' anywhere, darl" Joel reassures you warmly and steps back into the middle of the room.

Your movements are slow and become more lethargic as you reach for your clothes and focus on dressing yourself. He turns away from you and focuses on the record cabinet next to your bathroom door. His gaze travels along the wall and settles on the dark green flower wallpaper covering all four walls with the similar green panelling on the bottom half of the walls. The only sound that fills the room besides your shuffling and footsteps as you dress yourself is the muffled silence between you two.

You speak with a broken voice and a hoarse tone that sounds strained and raw from your previous crying. "How do you do it?" you ask, seeming to genuinely want an answer that you have not been able to find for yourself.

Joel asks softly and soothingly, "How do I do what darlin’?" as he crouches in front of your record collection and flicks through your vinyls. He remains silent and patient while he awaits your answer and he nods subtly in appreciation of your extensive collection of vinyls.

Your movements come to a sudden halt and Joel hears you sitting on the bed. He looks over his shoulder with a sense of apprehension and caution and notices you’ve dressed and are settling into place just a few feet away. He straightens his legs to stand up as his knees crack and the sound creates a small echo in the quiet space.

Your eyes are bloodshot from your previous tears as you look up at him and he freezes up as soon as he hears your voice. “How did you deal with losing Sarah?” You ask and he stares down at you for a moment before letting out a sigh.

Joel nods to himself as he blankly stares at the wall above your bed, covered with multiple pieces of artwork with mismatched frames like the rest of your house. His eyes dart around to see what hangs on the walls and lands upon a sketched portrait of a skeleton. Other paintings of crows, black cats, landscapes and insect anatomy sketches fill your wall, seemingly suiting the mood of the situation as your room seems oddly melancholy for a place where you spend so much time.

The thought of the room fitting your personality crosses his mind as he continues to stare at the wall of artwork and at the portrait of the skeleton. He reflects upon the fact that you tend to notice things that others overlook and find beauty in things that others turn their heads away from.

A bottle of pills on the corner of your desk beside the bed catches his eye and he can't help but notice the label that reads Lexapro. His mind is flooded with thoughts from a conversation that he and Tommy had a few weeks ago in which his brother mentioned he had traded for a few bottles of Lexapro for you and for himself.

He picks up the bottle along with the glass of water next to it and turns his head back to you and makes his way to sit on the damp bed beside you. He settles down next to you and remains silent for a while as he thinks of his reply as it’s a loaded question. He offers the bottle to you and you reluctantly take it from his hand. His focus is on you as you remain seated on the bed and he doesn't have the heart to look away or make any sudden moves to interrupt this moment.

He hands you the glass of water and waits patiently as you take a pill from the bottle and pop it into your mouth. He watches as you swallow it down with the water before he takes the glass and bottle back from you and places it on top of the desk.

You sit beside him and he meets your pleading gaze with his own. Your eyes are filled with all of the sorrow and pain that you have been through and there's a desperate and almost begging look as you try to get him to give you the answers that you so desperately need. He softly rests a hand on your thigh and sighs once more, his eyes not breaking from your own.

He softly confesses after a moment, "I didn't" in response to your begging look and your eyes close once again. He can feel the sadness in you and he doesn't know what to do to take it away.

"I still see her everywhere I go. I hear her everywhere.” He chokes on his words and runs a hand over his face before he continues. “Sometimes... All it takes is someone to come into your life and fill that hole." he speaks more to himself and a gentle sorrow seems to grip him as his eyes fixate on his own legs instead of your face.

"Ellie?" you ask in a soft and gentle voice and he nods, looking back up at you once more. You have such understanding and compassionate eyes as you look back at him, which he is thankful for, but he can still see the disappointment and sadness in them and he's not entirely sure how he's supposed to ease any of the pain that losing a kid has caused you and that hurts him immensely.

He removes his hand from your thigh and wraps his arm around your shoulder, gently pulling you into his side. You let out a deep and heavy sigh as you're pulled into his side, as if all the weight of your worries and sorrow has been lifted from your body. He feels his heart slowing down and his own breathing becoming a bit lighter and easier, and for a moment, he feels a warmth wash over his body, one that's been missing for so long.

"I've got Ellie getting us dinner from the mess hall. I was thinking about having a movie night, you up for that?" he asks and you gently nod into his shoulder. A small amount of relief washes over him as he feels your nodding and your response is reassuring. "Good," he replies, as he pulls you a little bit closer, "Because I ain't leaving you here like this."

Ellie doesn't seem to pay any mind to your current state as he settles you down on the couch in his living room. He drapes blankets over your body and hands you a chicken salad sandwich before you offer your thanks. Ellie lays on the other couch as he sits beside you, your legs resting over his lap and he turns both of your attentions towards the television which plays some sort of comedy movie.

However, Joel’s not really paying any attention to the movie. He’s more focused on you, stealing glances to make sure you’re okay while his hand gently rubs your legs in comfort. It takes until halfway into the movie before you smile and Joel sinks into the couch, relieved.

Ellie jumps from her spot on the couch just as the second movie's credits begin to roll. "I think it's time for a horror movie." She declares as her knees hit the floor with a thud and Joel glances towards her with a small sigh. He's a little too exhausted himself to care which movie she picks and so he simply rolls his head around and turns back towards you while you lie there sleeping. You're snuggled up tightly in the blankets and your hands hold them close to your face, keeping you from the world that is beyond the layers of soft cloth that wraps around you in such comfort.

“Maybe we put a pause on this.” Joel suggests as he watches the peaceful look on your face, a stark contrast from the mess he had found you in earlier in the night.

Ellie turns to face him with a look of horror on her face and frowns. "You said until we pass out." she argues and she groans as her eyes land on you and she notices how calmly you're sleeping. "That's not fair, she doesn't count!" she whines and slumps her shoulders in a pouty way.

Joel slowly rolls his head to face Ellie, raising his eyebrows at her as if daring her to carry on. She groans loudly before dramatically falling back onto her back as if she’s dead. After a dramatic pause, she lets out a long drawn-out " fine " and slowly drags herself to her feet using an almost sluggish or lazy movement.

Joel's lips twitch into a small smile at her dramatic theatrics and his face lightens to find humour in her actions. But the smile quickly fades as if it was never there as she turns to face him again and points at him with a single finger. "You owe me though, old man." she warns and then she proceeds to drag her feet out of the room towards the stairs that lead to the room she is currently using upstairs until the garage is finally ready for her to move into.

The garage would have been ready last week if Joel hadn't been procrastinating in finishing the job. He just can't face the reality of Ellie moving out of the house, even if it's just to the small building outside. It is this thought exactly that makes him delay and put off the job until the very last minute, trying to buy himself just a bit more time. He finds that every time he approaches the garage, something comes up that distracts him and pulls him away from the task at hand, just delaying the inevitable and prolonging his procrastination.

He’ll have to finish it soon though. Ellie deserves whatever she wants. Unfortunately, she wants to live in the garage.

His eyes wander on your sleeping form and he thinks about what to do. He considers the possibility of leaving you asleep on the couch but he knows that your back will start to hurt in the morning if you stay like that. Plus he would much rather have you sleep in his bed where you can rest comfortably and safely while he suffers from a bad back tomorrow morning after sleeping on the couch. He knows that you need a good sleep and he can manage with the pain for one night in order to ensure you get that.

He leans over and gently nudges your leg to wake you but you don't stir. Your peaceful slumber is too calming and you remain at peace despite his attempts to wake you. He sighs as he sees that you're not budging from your sleep and he removes your legs from him as he stands from the couch. His own exhaustion from the day is weighing heavily on him as he leans over again and nudges your shoulder as he tries to rouse you one more time.

You’re dead asleep.

He removes the blankets from your body and you remain perfectly still. He checks your breathing to make sure you're not actually dead but you seem to be slumbering peacefully, your chest slowly rising and falling with each breath that you take.

For a second time tonight, Joel wraps an arm around your back and the other slides under your knees as he lifts you from the couch. With both hands under you, he grunts with the effort of lifting your dead weight. There's a pain in his lower back as he lifts you and he clenches his jaw tight to prevent himself groaning out in pain. He holds you carefully but firmly in his arms and adjusts you as necessary before beginning to head towards his room with you in his arms.

You stir at the movement and a soft frown forms on your face as you barely moan in your sleep. You shift closer to him and lean your head into his chest seeking comfort and warmth. Your face buries into his chest as your body leans against him.

As he walks up the stairs towards his bedroom, he glances down at you clinging to his shirt and he thinks back to the conversation that you had earlier in the day by the lake. While you had laid by the lake together, you had told him that you didn't care about the lives he had taken and the only thing that mattered to you was his life . When you had spoken those words, it took all of his willpower not to pull you into his arms and kiss you like his life depended on it.

He lays you in his bed and pulls the blankets over you with care. He wants to kiss you now as badly as he did earlier by the lake but instead, he just pushes the hair from your face and gently kisses your temple. Your face buries itself into the covers as you subconsciously nestle yourself further into his bed and he watches as you smile softly in your sleep. His hand rests softly on your cheek before he takes a step back and turns to the door.

Joel makes it to the archway of his bedroom and almost to the bedroom door before your voice rings out from the bed as you call out to him. Your half-conscious voice is laced with a desperate tone as you lie on your elbows and look over at him. “Please don’t leave me.”

Joel turns off the lights and hears you sink back into his bed with a sense of relief as he makes it clear that he won't be leaving you. He stops at the side of his bed and picks up a spare pillow from the ground, placing it between you as he slides under the covers. He knows that his body will instinctively seek out your warmth as he sleeps. Last thing he wants is for you to freak out when you wake up to his arms wrapped around you.

He lays there for what feels like hours, staring up into the darkness of his room as he listens to your breathing slow down again as you fall back asleep. All he wants to do is to roll over and bring your body close to his, to comfort you.

But he can’t.

He shouldn’t

Instead, he lays there quietly, allowing the silence and peace to devour him as he listens to your tranquil breathing.

His chest suddenly tightens and his mind wanders to a darker place as he thinks about the moment when he found you laying in the bathtub. If he hadn't heard you crying, he would have thought that you were dead, and for a moment, he thought that he may have indeed lost you. It's a thought that nearly sends chills down his spine and he shakes his head slightly as he attempts to dispel the thought. But the memory lingers long in his mind and he finds difficulty in forgetting that frightening moment.

He had never been more relieved to see your body shake as you sobbed.

He looks over at you in the darkness and can barely make out the outline of your body, but it provides him with a sense of comfort to know you’re close to him. You are still there, your body gradually rising and falling with each breath that you take. You’re alive.

And it’s with that thought in his mind, that he finally falls asleep.

And it’s the sound of Tommy slamming his fists into his front door that wakes him early the next morning.

He finds himself awake with a frown on his face and rubs his tired eyes open as the morning light beams in through the window on the other side of the room. He blinks a few times and groans softly as his eyes adjust to the light. He closes them again and presses his face back into the pillows before burying his head deeper into the covers to seek out the comfort of the darkness and hope to return to sleep.

“Joel!” Ellie yells at him from her room and he groans again as he pushes himself from his bed. He freezes in his tracks and his heart skips a beat as he finds you are right here next to him, hugging that damned pillow. If it wasn't for that goddamn pillow dividing you, you would have been wrapping your warm and affectionate arms around him instead. His stomach churns with a mixture of frustration and disappointment.

He hears Tommy's voice from downstairs as he also hears the front door open and the sound of his brother's loud footsteps. He rips his eyes away from you and stands back up to his feet as his bones begin to ache and his body creaks from sleep. He groans slightly as he moves his body, every fibre in his being wanting nothing more than to just lie back down beside you in that bed, with or without that stupid pillow.

"I'm coming!" He shouts a reply as he moves himself towards the bedroom door and down the stairs. His brother, Tommy, is waiting at the bottom of the staircase as he stumbles towards him, rubbing his eyes and yawning as he struggles to fight off the fatigue that his body is currently engulfed with.

"I can't find her." He exclaims in panic and Joel can't help but yawn again as Tommy trails along behind him and into the kitchen. He stops in the middle of the room and glances around the space, his mind still half-asleep and he tries to remember where he put the damn coffee.

He asks back, "Find who?" as he proceeds to open a few cupboards in search of the coffee.

Tommy mentions your name and before Joel can offer a response, Tommy keeps speaking nervously and feverishly. "I went to her house this morning and it was a mess and she wasn't there," he rambles with a growing panic in his voice. "Her room is always clean Joel, something's not right."

Joel smiles as he locates the coffee and he sets it down on the counter as he listens to his brother's ramblings. When he runs out of words, Joel places a hand on his shoulder to stop him from speaking any more and then he proceeds to make his coffee.

"She's upstairs sleeping," Joel comments as he yawns yet again.

Tommy's head snaps to the direction of the stairs. "Why is she upstairs?" He asks Joel with a frown and an incredulous look, clearly confused by the response given after the worry and panic he had just expressed regarding your wellbeing.

Joel proceeds to explain how he had found you last night while he continues to make his coffee, making enough for you if you wanted any. Although, he doesn't have any honey… He should get some honey.

He explains everything to Tommy who stands there looking both surprised and worried about the whole situation.

"Why didn't you come get me?" He asks Joel as he pours his coffee into the cup. There's a hint of an accusatory and irritated tone to the question and it's written all over his face. The reason for his annoyed and frustrated mood is clear, though he doesn't speak it out loud.

Joel pauses for a moment, debating whether or not to tell Tommy the exact reason why he didn't come to get him. Tommy's eyes widen in question at the silence that follows his accusation and he knows that he's already on thin ice. Joel sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose as he prepares himself.

"I asked her, she didn't want you." He sighs as he finally takes a sip of his coffee and he feels his body relax a bit as the caffeine flows into his system.

Tommy scoffs at Joel's response and shakes his head, dismissing the idea outright and seeming rather upset about the information given to him. "What do you mean she didn't want me? You don't know what she wants." Tommy retorts back rather aggressively and defensively, seeming to be completely unwilling to accept the truth at the moment.

“Tommy-”

"No, Joel, you should have come and got me," Tommy protests firmly and Joel sets his coffee down on the counter behind him, preparing himself to calmly and rationally deal with his emotional younger brother's outburst. “You don’t know what she’s like when she’s like that… What she could have done.” He pauses as he runs a hand over his face and sighs. “Joel – I can’t lose her.”

"I had it under control," Joel attempts to explain to Tommy, but his younger brother just shakes his head again, dismissing his words.

Joel is starting to lose his patience with his stubborn and emotional sibling as Tommy shakes his head at him and mutters an insulting response. "You're the last person I expect to have that under any kind of control," Tommy retorts with a mocking tone in his voice as he deliberately looks away from Joel.

Joel crosses his arms over his chest as he leans against the counter in a defensive and protective stance. "Yeah? And what’s that supposed to mean?" He replies back to Tommy in an irritated and frustrated manner.

Tommy pushes himself from the counter and starts to physically approach Joel who is still leaning against the counter. "It means," Tommy begins in a rather condescending tone as he takes a step towards Joel, clearly not in the mood to be playing polite. "That you're too fucked up in the head to know how to help someone."

Joel shakes his head and looks down at Tommy as he steps up into his personal space. "Oh come on, you're no better than me," Joel snaps at his brother, his temper already running high at the moment and his patience rapidly approaching its limits.

“At least I didn’t try and shoot my brains out.”

That comment stings harder than Joel ever would have expected it to and his heart drops at Tommy's harsh words. A slight throb on the side of his head where his scar is makes his chest feel as if he's being suffocated and he tries to hold in his tears. He forces himself to try and maintain a calm and collected demeanour in front of his brother, even through the overwhelming tide of emotions that are currently threatening to overtake him, along with how much he wants to punch him. He clears his throat and replies, his voice breaking slightly, "Get out.”

He picks up his mug of coffee and focuses on watching the swirl of the liquid as Tommy finally seems to realise that he has struck a nerve with his last comment. Tommy sighs. “Joel – I didn’t mean–”

“Out.” He repeats himself and Tommy nods, turning and leaving the kitchen. He slams the door on his way out.

Once Tommy is out of sight, Joel finally releases a shaky breath as he clutches his shirt and closes his eyes, trying to calm himself and clear his thoughts. The liquid in his coffee mug is shaking due to his unsteady hands and he places it down on the counter as he struggles to control the overwhelming emotions that are threatening to overwhelm him. It takes everything in him just to keep himself from breaking down in tears right there and then.

Even though years have passed since he took that drastic action, the memory of his failed attempt never truly leaves his mind. He still carries the physical scar on the side of his head around with him as a heavy reminder. He's in a better place now, in his mind at least, but Tommy’s words certainly threaten to drag him back to that dark place again.

His thoughts are torn away instantly at the sound of soft footsteps pattering into the kitchen and he raises his head and looks over at you as you enter the room. Joel straightens himself instantly as he doesn't want to let you see the emotional state he was in just now. He's looking after you, not the other way around. As you finish rubbing your eyes, he manages a small, tired and reassuring smile in your direction.

"Was that Tommy?" You ask Joel as you yawn and make your way in his direction. You push yourself up onto the kitchen counter and he finds himself unable to help but let his gaze fall upon you. The soft and peaceful aura you project is almost otherworldly and he finds himself entranced in your presence, forgetting for a moment about the emotional state he had been in before you had walked into the room.

He nods with a small hum and his attention is taken from you for a moment as he places the freshly made coffee in your hands. The smile on your face in reply to this small gesture makes his heart ache for a different reason to before. The sight of you with your eyes half-closed due to your recent yawning, only serves to further endear you to him and he can't help but allow his lips to soften into a small smile.

"How you feelin'?" Joel asks you as he picks up his own mug, now in a slightly better mood and his emotional state from his brief argument with Tommy seems to be completely absent now that he's talking to you.

“A lot better. Thanks for last night, sorry you had to deal with that.” Your attempt to apologise is immediately disregarded and Joel's hand is held out to stop you from feeling the need to express any form of guilt or remorse.

"You have nothin’ to be sorry about," he replies and you nod as you take another sip of the coffee.

He looks back to you a moment later and his gaze trails to your lips as he watches you take another sip. The image of your lips against the edge of the mug is almost hypnotic to him and he can't help but wonder for just a moment what it would feel like to have your lips on him instead.

He looks away as Ellie’s stomping feet trail down the stairs. She appears in the kitchen moments later with a twisted face and mutters her disapproval about being woken so early by Tommy. She opens the fridge and takes out a small jug of freshly squeezed orange juice and she sniffs the air, scrunching her nose before looking over at you. “Ugh. you drink coffee too?” she questions with a groan as she pours herself a glass of juice.

Joel settles into the background as the two of you jokingly argue whether coffee is good or not and he's content to just listen to your banter knowing that he can afford to sit back and relax for the moment. A content smile rests on his lips as he listens to the both of you arguing over coffee and he feels a sense of warmth settle over his chest as he's reminded of how innocent and peaceful the two of you can be.

Although he knows that things can't always be perfect and happy like this, he still can't help but wish it was. The thought of things always being smooth and free of any stress or anxiety is a pleasant one, especially when he knows how rare such peace truly is. This moment reminds him that such a feeling is at least possible, if only briefly.

He wants nothing more than to erase the bruise from Ellie’s face and to remove the hurt that sits deep in your heart from the loss you've experienced.

In that precise moment, he is content to see nothing but happiness and peace in their eyes, and he wishes he could erase any form of pain from their existence and make it so that they never experience such grief again. He wants nothing more than to see them happy and content, and if that involves him sacrificing a piece of himself to make things better, he wouldn't hesitate to do so.

For his girls, even if you aren’t his.

Chapter 9

Notes

This is a heavy chapter so my apologies.

I rewrote the scene where Joel's in the room with her while she changes three times. I couldn't decide what I wanted him to be doing in that moment. I had wrote him dressing her but it felt wrong, as she's capable of dressing herself. I don't know but i hope this version is good!

I also tried to write about their grief but didn't want to spend an enormous amount of time on it but also didn't want it to feel rushed, so hope i found a good balance.

The number of times i wanted to rip my own heart out writing this chapter -- wow

70K into this fic and bed-sharing, wow. The fluff is in full now.

Divider by the beautiful saradika

#joel miller #joel tlou #joel x fem!reader #tlou joel #pedro pascal #the last of us #joel x reader #joel fanfic #tlou #tommy miller #tlou fanfiction #fanfiction

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