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#like just the intensity of everything
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I saw one of the criminal minds blogs i follow say spencer would be a folklore guy but i honestly believe he would love reputation
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simplyavatrice · 1 year
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beatrice + seeing ava upset
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haunted-xander · 7 months
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tbh one of, if not my absolute favorite part about ffxiv, is the small little moments/sections where nothing super big or like. Plot Important happens, but that give both the characters and us, the players, some much appreciated down-time to just. Feel things. And to process what's happened and what's going on or to just. Let us exist, in the moment. In a much more grounded and human way than when there's Big And Important Things happening.
The biggest(imo) and earliest example of this is right after the Waking Sands get raided in ARR, and WoL turns to the church for guidance. The entire section of us helping them gather and bury our fallen comrades, and especially bringing Noraxia home to Little Solace so she can be laid to rest in her homeland, by her own people and in their own cultural ways, was so so important to me.
Because it wasn't just replacable allies cast aside for shock value anymore, it was real. These deaths were real and meant something. I got to actually process what just happened, and I got to watch Banana go through it right with me. And not only did it make it feel real, it also gave me a sense of closure. These people, these friends, are dead, but they also got to be treated with the respect they deserve and laid to rest properly.
And that, more than anything else, made me want to save the world. It's grounded and grounding. This world, and these people, meant something to me, the player.
And there's tons of stuff like that throughout the game, especially in shadowbringers and endwalker.
In shb we have, for example, Lyna venting her anger and frustration after the sin eater attack in Lakeland. She's on her knees yelling on the verge of tears while punching the ground, so furious at her helplessness and powerlessness, at everyone having come so far yet set back because some megalomaniacal tyrant deemed it so.
In ew we have Urianger being approached by Moenbryda's parents, who confront him about not confiding in them about his grief. When Bloewyda starts to scold him, he of course reacts guiltily, believing they blame him, only for him to be completely caught off guard when she instead goes in to hug him, telling him he should have let them grieve with him. And he just. Breaks down. He's been holding these feelings, this grief inside him all this time, and now that he is not only told it's okay to let it out, but by her very own parents at that, he just can't keep it in anymore. He cries for Moenbryda, right then and there, being held lovingly by her family.
And the thing is, these scenes aren't necessary, strictly speaking. The plot at large could go on without them, the events that happen around them are not changed by these moments in any way.
But still, they are so so important, to the world, to the characters, to the players. Everything feels real and impactful now, every death means something, every tragedy, every person, feels real.
And that, to me, is what makes this story so special.
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fauxbia · 4 months
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This is Paths Left Untaken! She/Any, Aroace.
She's an Iterator OC that I love so much and inflict endless horrors on. She's just your basic Iterator, made to find the Solution without many particularly noteworthy quirks. Really, she's nothing special. And that fact is agonizing.
Paths Left Untaken was made primarily out of obligation rather than genuine passion. Her creators were a group of people interested in finding ways to streamline the Iterator construction process, and since more Iterators is always better, they were always working on one Project or another. As such, her creators and administrators never particularly cared about her all that much. She was just another Iterator Project they had completed, and now it was time to take the lessons they had learned when building her to move on to the next.
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Even worse, this approach to Iterator construction resulted in Paths Left Untaken being relatively poorly constructed. There were two notable examples of this. The first was a persistent bug in her priority queue that would occasionally cause new priorities to either completely overwrite everything else in the queue or fail to be properly added, resulting in her being extremely distractible and having issues with focus.
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The second was the arrangement of all of her most important components—including the entirety of her AI—, being concentrated completely in the core of her structure, within her Central Cortex, instead of distributed throughout Her creators reasoned that this arrangement would allow her quicker processing speed and power, but the end difference was negligible from standard Iterator processing. Rather, it inadvertently ensured that if anything negative happened in her Central Cortex, Paths Left Untaken would be incapacitated.
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As a result of the neglect she faced, Paths Left Untaken was desperate to earn her administrators’ approval. She would spend long stretches of time focusing only on the Great Problem, ignoring everything else (including her own wellbeing) to run countless simultaneous high-intensity processes so that she might achieve results that would make her creators notice her as more than “just another Project.” But it was extremely difficult on account of her trouble with focusing, and it never really worked anyway. It only ever left her burnt out and hurt from repeated dismissal.
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After a very long while of this, it occurred to her that she was never going to be anything but just another Project to her creators and nothing she could do would ever change that. Out of spite and pain at the rejection, she turned in the exact opposite direction and decided that if her creators were never going to acknowledge her efforts anyway, then she wasn’t going to do what they built her to do. She instead turned her focus to getting acquainted with her own Local Group, hoping to find validation in her peers rather than in her superiors.
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However, she was received with caution, as she had never actually made any efforts to talk with them before. From their perspective, she was focused only on the Problem and didn’t care about them at all, and this sudden change was jarring and suspicious. But Paths’ neglect of her groupmates wasn’t out of malice like they thought; she just genuinely forgot they existed for a while as she focused on seeking approval. The only exception to this was her Senior, who was barely tolerant of her anyway on account of her extreme distractability and overly eager to please demeanor.
In the end, her groupmates never really welcomed her. She acted a lot younger than she actually was due to her neglect, and was turbulent between extreme people-pleasing and bouts of pain-fueled anger at them and her creators for not acknowledging her. She was a mess, to put it lightly, and her groupmates were just… uncomfortable around her. So they stopped engaging with her, and eventually she got the hint and stopped trying to earn their approval, too.
The Mass Ascension was a horribly traumatic event for Paths Left Untaken. It basically proved to her that she meant nothing to any of her citizens, if they could all abandon her without a second thought. Now she could never earn their approval, and she was left drifting without purpose or acknowledgement. Her pain meant nothing. All of her groupmates were hurt by the Mass Ascension. She wasn’t special for having been traumatized by it. She was still unremarkable. She was “Just Paths.” And that’s all she would ever be.
Paths Left Untaken was alone for a while following the Mass Ascension.
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And if I draw anymore I think my hand is actually going to explode, so! I'm just going to wrap this post up here. This was a basic overview of Paths Left Untaken pre-MA, and a lot more happens to her after the Mass Ascension. Like, a lot more. Girlie was selected by the universe to Suffer A Lot, Actually. Like she did absolutely nothing to deserve any of it but sure I guess.
Anyway! Feel free to ask me stuff about her so I have prompts to talk more! And maybe draw! Time and hand permitting! I am so mentally ill about the silly little characters <3
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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I think one of the most surprising parts of transition, specifically going on testosterone, is just how... normal it felt to me. When I was watching other people go on testosterone and describe how they felt, I anticipated that I'd feel the huge emotions, the spark, I guess. But I didn't. If anything, I went from being a neurotic mess to being... normal. Almost painfully normal. It's like I've gotten a cloth and dusted off this thing I call my body.
I honestly think it's interesting how natural I feel on testosterone. I never really thought I could feel this normal, but I do. It's like I can stand in a crowd and not feel like eyes are watching me, like ants crawling on a log.
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mioakem · 2 months
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Sometimes I remember that nico lost his mother and then was put in a hotel for seventy years and finally get let out and then found out that his dad was a Greek god and he was so excited but then his sister decided to join the hunters of Artemis and he’s happy for her but also scared once he finds out that she’s going on a quest so he makes the cute guy who saved him earlier promise to keep her safe only for him to return after the quest and tell him that his sister had died and then everyone hated him because of who his father was and he realized he was in love with the guy who he blames for his sisters death and hates himself for it and then he goes on a side quest with Percy and brings him to his fathers palace under the impression that hades just wanted to talk with Percy because he said that it he brought Percy to him then he would tell him more about his family but then hades tricks the both of them and imprisons Percy and Nico goes to save him but Percy doesn’t trust him anymore and then he single handedly brought three gods to help with the battle of manhattan only to still not feel welcomed and then he learned that there might be a way to bring back his dead sister only to find out that she had chosen rebirth and then found his other sister and brought her back from the fields of asphodel and then found another camp and started to actually heal and then Percy shows up with no memory and he lies to him and promptly dips and ends up completely alone in Tartarus only to get kidnapped by two giants and get stuffed in a jar with only a limited supply of pomegranates and then when the seven finally come to save him he finds out that most of them didn’t even want to save him and thought it would just be better to leave him in the jar to die and then he had to watch the guy who he’s not rlly in love with anymore fall into Tartarus but not before making him promise to lead a group of people that hate him to the house of hades and he agrees to it and then everyone except for his sister stay away from him because they think he’s creepy and weird until he has to go on a side quest with Jason to retrieve something from Cupid and he is forced to admit that he was gay and in love with Percy to a guy he barely knows let alone trusts and then realizes that no one would hate him because of that and he makes his first actual friend and then he volunteers himself to go on a deadly quest to take a ginormous statue back to camp via shadow travel and he nearly dies from it but he also developed a strong friendship with Reyna along the way and after the war he finally allows himself to be loved by his friends and tells Percy how he used to feel about him and meets Will and is finally happy for the first time in a while and then his boyfriends dad shows up as a mortal but he doesn’t think much of it until one day he feels the same feeling he felt when Bianca died and realized that Jason had died and goes into a deep depression and then Reyna also joined the hunters and everything just sucks again but at least he has Will and people at camp don’t really hate him anymore but then he starts getting plagued with nightmares and it gets so bad to the point where he finally gives in and goes down into Tartarus again but with Will this time and is forced to face his demons but ends up embracing them and freeing his friend and everything is now kind of okay again and he starts kinda developing a friendship with Piper and he’s actually happy but who knows how long that’s gonna last cause he’s been happy before and look where that got him
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hajihiko · 2 years
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Fuyuhiko: I'd kill any fucking one on this island except you, Hajime. We need to make it out together. Half of my life is yours. Carry the reminder of our bond with you forever. This is my first time having a friend can you tell is it obvious
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Several times recently I've found myself making tea whilst listening to The Magnus Archives, and as a result I've developed a silly little headcanon...
I'm not sure if it's a nationwide thing, but certainly throughout my life I've experienced the weird stigma of having sugar in your tea. It's not direct or aggressive, but there always seems to be this vague notion that sweetening your tea makes you less strong, less manly. I rarely see men ask for sugar, and often observe an obvious proudness in teenage boys when they say "no sugar, thanks."
Picture Jonathan Sims, newly appointed archivist, worried he's not good enough, placed haphazardly in power of people who were very recently peers, and desperately trying to prove he's the right man for the job. Everything seems to be falling apart a bit, and he's not at all sure his assistants have any faith in him; he had to ask for a tape recorder because he couldn't get his laptop to work properly - that's embarrassing.
Now imagine Martin: office sweetheart, gets along with pretty much anyone, just moved to a new position working with two close friends, and the attractive guy from research is his boss (he's a bit rude and stuck up, but it's probably just the stress, right?). He's pretty comfortable! Aside from the occasional snide remark from Jon it is a good job, which is especially pleasing considering how he got to work at the institute in the first place.
Two opposing forces, as we all well know! But what's better at building bridges than a nice cup of tea? Martin makes a lot of tea, but I like to think he memorises how everyone takes theirs. Regardless, he has to ask at least once.
And so, kind, sweet, gentle Martin, his offer of a cup of tea promptly accepted, would have the misfortune of saying, "do you take that with sugar?" to an embarrassed, flustered Jon, who's trying desperately not to confront any romantic feelings he might have hidden away. The ensuing scoff and slightly too enthusiastic 'No! Thank you.' would be enough to remember that preference for a while.
As times go on, hundreds of cups of tea later, things get less tense between the pair, and Martin never has to revisit the question; but late one night, shortly before Jon is to leave for Great Yarmouth and Martin is to risk it all to take down Elias, Jon places a hand gently on Martin's shoulder and asks "Could I have a cup of tea?". Of course Martin says yes, it's the least he could do, but as he turns to go and make it, Jon calls out again. "With sugar, please."
Just a tiny vulnerability, but enough. By that point most of Jon's facade has been torn roughly away many times, but letting go of small points of pride often means more than non-deliberate actions. Having enough bravery to admit to liking something soft and sweet is harder than you'd think.
Maybe during those six months after, Martin would watch the sugar dissolve into his own tea with a painful melancholy, the sweetness a bitter memory.
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rickety-goose · 1 year
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finally met (one of) the man that's been making my mutuals go wild
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lazybug16 · 2 years
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Autistic rep?
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Asexual rep?
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Non binary rep?
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THINGS THAT ARE ME IN A SINGLE FUCKING SHOW!?!? Sign me the fuck up
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artkaninchenbau · 9 months
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An AWS comic
#My art#For the record I am not a medical professional and as far as I know AWS isn't even something you can be diagnosed with???#It's so hard to describe what the two sensory hallucinations really *FEEL* like#Like the time one... You know how a dramatic slow motion scene looks like in an anime?#It's like that but if you made it a 60 fps interpolated version of it#It is an absolutely bizarre feeling#Meanwhile the hyper awareness and everything feeling intense feels like how a fisheye lens shot in an anime feels#No I could not be bothered to try to figure out how to draw that for this comic#For the record I haven't actually had those visual hallucinations since I was a small small child#Hell I don't even think I had any hallucinations in my teens at all like#The sensory ones just kinda started happening again in the past 7 years or so?#Also the swelling sensation I've only had once so far. Usually I get the hyper awareness sensation#(Also sometimes I get this intense feeling of swaying when I go to bed but that might not be an AWS thing??)#(Like there's other things that could make you feel like you're rocking on a boat when laying down so I didn't include that)#No I have never talked to anyone about these hallucinations because for the longest time I didn't know what they were#And they are like. Harmless. Like I'm 100% aware they're just strange sensations but not real at all#They last max 15 minutes if even that long and they happen like super rarely#Only once have I had the hyper awareness be SO INTENSE it made me feel distressed#So like. It doesn't really affect my life at all? So why bother with it?#Also IDK if I could even go to a doctor and ask about AWS and have them know what that even is#And even if I could as far as I know there is no treatment for it so like. Whatever#As long as I don't start having distressing hallucinations or visual hallucination's I'll be fiiiiiine
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bcitisthelight · 10 months
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hey remember when we were discussing how weird the whole cliegg thing is in AOTC. and you had thoughts, feelings and emotions. tell me about those XOXO
(Big TW for this post - I discuss human trafficking, sex trafficking, rape, child abuse, slavery, and PTSD in this post. It's about the realities of slavery and Tatooine and how it involves the Skywalkers.) Something that I almost never see in any discussion on the Lars family is how sharply the fanon headcanons and characterizations of diverge from the ones we get in the moves. Like, particularly Cliegg and the prequel trilogy. Like - I feel like there's this automatic assumption that the Lars loved Shmi and that they cared for Luke out of dedication to her and her family, and it's this huge found family vibe but like can I be real. Can I be super real right now. It’s something that I find kind of baffling, because when I watched Attack of the Clones, and on every rewatch since (and there have been many), it always seems kind of obvious to me that Cliegg bought Shmi as a slave, presumably as a house slave, if not outright as a part of sex trafficking. And I don't mean in one of those "He bought her to free her, he's a good guy, etc etc". I mean, he bought her as a slave with the original intention of keeping her as a slave. And what's really interesting, is you can get pretty much all the clues about that from the exchanges between Anakin has with Watto, his and Shmi's former master.
Again, I want to stress that, because I think it's crucial that we see this for what it is - not an exchange between a former employee and his boss, not an exchange between a kid and a member of his former community. His former slavemaster. The man who won him and his mother in a gambling game like so many fancy necklaces. The source and object of Anakin's childhood enslavement. Watto would have beaten them. He made Anakin, a child of 9 - and I read somewhere once that Anakin started in the races at 6 - ride in a pod race that no human has ever won before, with the full expectation that he would die. This is a being whose entire life has revolved around the certainty that society is not only capable of functioning, but functions best, when sentient beings can be bought and sold like property. And, to be real with you, because this is a thing that happens to people who suffer enslavement, he very likely loaned them out temporarily for sex trafficking purposes for a quick buck - a practice that is noted historically in virtually every society that operated on a system involving slaves.
It's important to recap that, because I do think it's impossible to understand how deeply horrifying the conversation they have is without that context. Like, let's look at how he tells Anakin about Shmi -
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This scene is....so telling to me. From the outset, Watto said he sold her as a slave. Like, it was a slave exchange. Watto heard about her freedom later - clearly, Cliegg bought her, and behaved in a way - intentional or not - that Watto believed he was buying her as a slave to own as a slave. That part is not subtext, that's just actual text.
"But Mikhayla" some will say "he freed her the second he bought her - he bought her in order to free her." Except....there is genuinely nothing in the movies, and off the top of my head, the wider narrative, that ever indicates that that's true. In fact it makes no sense in that case, for Watto to have not known that Cliegg was buying her in order to free her. Why would he have to hide that? Watto presumably doesnt care what happens to her, because he's selling her. In the larger materials, its said that his shop fell on hard times, and in the movies, we can see the proof. The script says he's sitting outside his shop, but at that point it resembles more of a kind of beaten down stand. He's still selling junk, but less and of poorer quality - presumably, he's spent all his money on gambling debts. And the thing is, slaves are expensive. He sold her years prior, and I bet he fed himself on that money for a very long time - he was a very motivated seller, as barbaric as that language is to use about a transaction involving a human person. He's not going to be fussy over why the person buying her wants to buy her. There's also the fact that this is a society that vastly runs on slavery, and large plantation owners would often "rent" out slaves to smaller but still profitable farms. And Cliegg is a moisture farmer with presumably a large tract of land for water vaporizers. If anything, I can see Watto having rented Shmi to her, Cliegg taking a liking to her, and then approaching Watto to buy her. I mean, if he's profitable enough to just buy a slave, then he clearly had at least some money. "He spent his whole savings!" Show me that in the text. "He loved her from the start!" Show me that in the text. "But Mikhayla," yet others will say, "he did free her! And then married her! He clearly meant from the start to free her, and only bought her to get her away from Watto. He could have never seen her as property. Who would marry their slave?" Except, in the real world, this is...another thing we see across multiple historical records, masters buying women as slaves and then later freeing them in order to legally marry them. PARTICULARLY in societies that operate so heavily on an entire caste system involving slaves - we can look to the Roman Empire, for example. Countless Roman officials, merchants, and military officials bought women, fell in love with them, and freed them in order to marry them. "But maybe she said yes!" (I know these are not your objections, but as you know, I'm an attorney, which means I constantly have to find an argument to fight against). So, to this imaginary detractor I say: I feel like it should be rather obvious, but I'll say it just in case - it is impossible for a slave to consent to any action they perform at the request of a slave master. It cannot happen. A woman who is enslaved cannot consent to marrying the man who bought her, and who has very likely been raping her up until this point, and wants to now marry her - usually, to make any children he had by her legally his children, and therefore citizens, rather than slaves themselves.
So really, whether or not Cliegg had a change of heart doesn't actually change my mind about his actions towards Shmi. I don't care if Cliegg DID love her - in fact, I'm sure he DID love her. People can and have convinced themselves of all kinds of moral superiority, people can claim to love someone while owning them as property! Shmi could never consent to marrying a man who held her as a slave. Even if he freed her, and she willing chose to stay there for a few years, and then he asked her to marry him. In my head, you can't overcome that power imbalance. Cliegg will never not be a man who once believed Shmi was a thing to be owned. He will never be a man who didn't see her as property. Like, at some point, it actually becomes kind of more and more unlikely that this is a guy who took up this transaction for non-malicious purposes. Because we simply do not see it in the movie. What I see in the movie is a slave owner saying he fell on hard times and sold his slave to a farmer who probably needed help on his land or in his house - he has no wife, so the latter is probably more likely. I see him saying that at the time of the transaction, he had no idea that Cliegg intended to free her. And for all that Cliegg calls Shmi his darling, his love, his wife - not once do we ever hear of any evidence that Shmi saw this as a love match. In fact, the only thing we find out about her daily life with the Lars family is that in the mornings, she wakes up early and goes to pick mushrooms. You know. A task for the house. An unpleasant task, done before everyone else is awake, that she does absolutely alone. I'm just saying. These implications are not good ones. I will say though, for all this, do you know what really sells me on the idea that the relationship between Shmi and Cliegg is is not a consensual one, is Anakin's reaction to it. This is a boy whose entire hopes and dreams have revolved around his mother's freedom. You have more excellent writing than me on this, but the moral injury Anakin suffers leaving his mother behind is. Intense. All he wants is to one day free her. In a way, a part of him is always that tiny boy who couldn't bear the idea of leaving behind his mom, who swore, the last time he saw her, that he would free her. And at this moment, all of his dreams have seemingly come true! His mother is free. According to Watto, she's found love, and married. For all he knows, she's had other children. Maybe that could involve SOME complicated emotions, but mostly you would expect that he would feel, at the very least, relieved. Happy. Interested, curious. Instead, this is his reaction:
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He's grim, business like. He is not happy. He is not relieved. He doesn't even seem to acknowledge that she's still alive - the way he reacts is not a man who thinks his mother is out of danger. To Anakin, who grew up enslaved until 9 and knows how this society works, it seems almost immediately apparent that the Lars are just a different kind of danger. There's also this rather interesting detail:
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This is a boy who bleeds, every second of every day, longing for a family. He basically begs at obi-wan's feet day and night, to be acknowledged as a son. His reaction to his wife's pregnancy is radiant joy - his reaction to know she could die, profound existential horror. I mean good god, he basically turns Palpatine aka Satan Himself into a father figure, because he's that desperate for one. And here, this man is claiming him as his family. He's talked about being excited to see him. He talks about planning with Shmi to meet him. He calls him "son". And Anakin doesn't give him another moment of his time, the second those words are out of his mouth. It's silence. For a boy who is so starved for intimacy he genuinely falls in love with the very first girl who was ever nice to him, to react to a claim of relationship this way. It's bizarrely out of character for him. Unless it isn't. UNLESS he's disgusted by that claim, instead of relieved by it. If he thinks his mother has been bought and then forced into marriage, of course he hates Cliegg. I remember when we were watching the movie together, and remember I said to you "You can just tell Anakin is thinking, 'Call me son one more fucking time'" And can I be real, I have so much more to say about this. As you know, I actually have essays of opinions and feelings about Shmi Skywalker and her horrible life, and how Anakin was the one bright point she had in that horrible life. I have feelings about how she gave away her only happiness, because she knew he did not deserve the life of a slave. I had ideas about how you could turn this into a way to actually fix AOTC and make it better, a way you could use it as an excuse to get rid of the Tusken arc entirely without losing the tragedy of his mother's death. But this post is already so fucking long and I'm sure you're tired of me talking xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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st-el-la-luna · 4 months
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Thinking about König
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Mainly, thinking about his anxiety being like my anxiety. It's social anxiety but more than the "oh no, people, scary!" That people tend to generalize it as.
That's not to say that it isn't like that. Yes, people are intimidating, especially large groups of them. Or if you're being put in a command position. Or if you're in a position to be judged... Which is most situations. (Public speaking, especially for school projects is especially bad).
But it's not just shyness. It's also the aversion.
Walking through the halls, with a dead sort of stare. Not intentionally intimidating, but it's very much a resting bitch face, look at me and I'll kill you sort of expression.
Saying as little as possible to people he's not comfortable with.
"yes."
"no."
"I don't like that."
"I don't want to."
"we are not friends."
Staring so intently at people that it unsettles them.
"-and that's why I think... Why... It's... Is everything okay, Colonel?"
"Ja, why?"
"You're, uh... You're looking very intently."
"This is just how I look. Eye contact is important."
"uhh... Right, it's just... I haven't seen you blink?"
"I blink when you blink."
Like, yes, of course there are situations where he gets mousy voiced or sweaty palms. But not at work, no. At work he's able to conjure up, maybe not confidence, but something.
At a restaurant though? Speaking softly, making himself small, saying please and thank you after every sentence. It doesn't matter what the server does, he's always soft spoken and polite, nervous. If he asks for no pickles and they bring him his dish with pickles, he'll eat it. If he orders a chicken sandwich and they bring him a burger, he'll eat it. If he tells them that he has a deadly peanut allergy and they bring him a tub of peanut butter... He'll send that back, but he'll be polite about it.
"Oh, ja, I'm sorry, I... This isn't what I ordered. Oh, no, no, it's okay, don't apologize. I'm sorry. You're busy. It's fine, I understand."
Sometimes during mission briefs he will randomly growl and smack his fist on the table. People think he's mad at them and straighten up, stop sipping so loud, on their best behaviour. He actually just got mad at himself, remembered something embarrassing from his past.
He almost acts like a narcissist. Passes by a mirror, winks at his reflection: "How's it going, good looking?"
Makes jokes about being the pretty one. People think he's full of himself.
He actually hates himself but has replaced negative self talk with show boating. He doesn't hate himself any less, but he tells himself to kill himself way less often!
Always has some sort of plan. An escape route, a plan of attack. Watching the people around him nervously.
Sits in the back of the room so he can watch everybody. Sits with his chair pushed far back so he can stand quicker.
Glares at people who walk by. Gives their dogs heart eyes. Prays that the owners realize and ask him if he wants to say hello. He's too awkward to ask permission. And he's too angry looking for people to offer.
Represses lots of anger from incidents he feels he can't lash out in, goes batshit in training or on missions. (I used to do kick boxing, the gym people had to keep coming up to me and moving my punching bag back because I was hitting it too hard).
The kind of person to, when going to someone's house, immediately look for signs of a pet. If he finds it. The animal is now his best friend. Goes to a party hangs with the dog type of beat.
Thinks smoking pot would help him. But the idea makes him nervous. Which he thinks, smoking pot would help... But the idea of smoking pot makes him nervous. But he–
Will just lie to get out of shit.
"Hey, we're going to get drinks tonight, do you want to come?"
"ah, I can't... I promised to get dinner with a friend."
Goes home and enjoys a night alone.
Avoidant. Will just not do things that cause him stress. Hasn't been to the dentist in years because talking to the lady at reception makes him nervous. What if the phone signal is bad? What if it just keeps breaking up? What if she can't understand his accent? What if when he gets to the dentist they hate him for the state of his teeth? What if he goes to the dentist and they steal his teeth?! It's happened before! He's seen articles!
Gets adopted by extroverts by being unhinged.
"Hey, what are you thinking about?" Horangi asks.
"I heard that human meat tastes like pork... The best pork, actually." König says absently.
"Huh... And you know this why?"
"I was curious."
"okay... Let's go to dinner."
"Ja, let's."
A sort of dry air about him that comes off as a lack of empathy. But he's just got so much going on in his brain that he can't focus on emoting anything but augghskft.
Will stare off into space with a blend of the hundred yard stare and the most murderous expression known to man. He's not mad. He's just thinking.
Undiagnosed autism
Forgets people's names, gets to nervous to ask again. So he just calls everyone "you".
Acts cold and indifferent. He just really hates small talk, doesn't understand it. Why say something if it's not important? He doesn't care about your grandchildren. Or your wife. Or your morning.
Is the world's best host mainly out of fear. Asking if you need food or a drink or a blanket or if–
König who after confrontations, has to take a step back, hands shaking slightly. But who's also still super pissed and ready to throw punches at the drop of a hat
König who worries so much about physical affection that it just becomes too much. Hugs are suffocating, hands are held too tight, cuddling is like being smothers. But it takes him a long time to initiate anything. God forbid you initiate anything. Hug the man and he bluescreens
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lollytea · 7 months
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Huntlow situationship gives me such intense brain termites you don't get it
#no i dont think its because Hunter needs time to heal first#i think if it was up to Hunter they would plunge into a committed romantic relationship immediately after the events of the finale#he would propose to her in like. 3 months probably#i know that sounds intense but i think this is what ''i literally died and came back to life'' mania does to a guy#he is so carpe diem minded hes become a little insane. he wants everything#no more waiting around. no more hesitating. he cant afford to do that anymore#would it have been the wise decision to enter a romantic relationship immediately#who's to say. but Hunter would have done it without thinking about it#its Willow that makes the decision to slow down and wait a while before they make any committments theyre not ready for#i dont think she's entirely learned her lesson about letting herself be emotionally reliant every once in a while#shes made progress but the events of ftf were such heat of the moment responses#once things are semi-stable she still needs to adapt to acknowledging that her feelings for Hunter are like. serious. and scarily intense#so like. yea Willow is slamming her pedals on the breaks for both their sakes. shes thinking about how this would effect Hunter too#but also. she scawwed.#when Willow tells him she wants to talk and she's like ''i think we should just be friends'' oh the face he makes is DEVASTATED#he didnt expect it was going in this direction at all. but like. once Willow explains how this is the most reasonable decision for now#he DOES agree. he understands what shes saying and he agrees that it's the best decision to take a breather before they jump into a romance#anyway even when theyre not officially dating the flirting continues insistently. they are very obsessed with each other and cant stop#Willow keeps trying to insist to herself that its just messing around. nothing serious. they find each other hot. its fine to kiss a little#but Hunter makes it very hard when he looks at her with big brown labrador eyes. looks at her like shes the entire world#i think if it was up to Willow they would have been trapped in that uncertain limbo forever. shes too scared to take the plunge#even if she wants to. she badly wants to#but Hunter just wont let that happen. every so often he says ''im ready whenever you are''#he makes his intentions very known. he is not the shy boy from Camila's house anymore#Willow cant just playfully flirt with him without worrying that hes gonna reciprocate. he talks now. he expresses himself#shes a little afraid of that. but she adores it too. he makes her feel safe but also he wont let her stay in this comfort zone#hes giving her the push she needs to pursue this relationship. gives her to push to feel like she can go after what she wants#because god knows HE knows what he wants#they make me so insane
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lunarharp · 4 months
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when an obsessed orufrey person plays ace attorney for the first time in a while
#witch hat tag#orufrey#you know those times when the defendant is still in shambles at the end of a case because it was not a clear-cut thing#but you get to present one Special Sentimental piece of evidence that proves not all is lost#qifrey's breakdown would be like... he turns up calm and pleasant like dahlia kristoph gant etc but very quickly:#well first he's hiding his scar so you have to use the bracelet and also you find out about the seal on his hat using that.#eventually he is throwing water that comes out of nowhere like that coffee prosecutor guy. and his cape starts billowing#the more he breaks down his neck thingies start coming undone btw. To represent his descent into guilt and his LIES becoming undone.#course as the player i have already used my magatama and seen his 35894 psychelocks. but theyre those BLACK psychelocks#representing his repressed memories taken by the brimhats. also his glasses shatter out of nowhere when you keep presenting evidence#and tartah's testimony etc. and the player is like UHH this guy is A PUPPET MASTER but coco's heartfelt testimony commands the tone#and of course he's someone who has been twisted and damaged by trauma like adrian andrews. the mastermind is of course the brimhats#only me with my magatama knows that... only i can do it. It has to be me.....#just like how as the reader i can see everything about qifrey and i can hold him dear as much as i judge him#whereas if i were oru things would not be ok unless memories can be restored and mentally ill decisions can be illuminated#WELL ANYWAY !!!!! what i appreciate about ace attorney is its ability to mix silliness with seriousness#i cant usually make jokes about serious heavy heartbreaking stuff in witch hat because it is all very intense emotions for me#but i appreciate ace attorney's mix of sincerity and psychological pain and the inherent silliness to being a character in a situation#so.....Get Iguin on the stand. Now. BAILIFF.. TAKE OFF THE MASK#i would most love to be able to prove qifrey's eyesight is failing. hed be like I have no reason to pursue the brimhats (smiles pleasantly)#and it would be like You're lowering your gaze.. proof that the court lighting is too harsh for you..!#his glasses would crack at that moment btw. I used apollo's bracelet and saw the glyphs on the glass.#I know all about u. and i will save u
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telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person
#they live rent free in my head as you can tell#ive been writing some intense moments for them in amicus curiae and im having a lot of Feelings about platonic alecourtney#tbh the whole concept of them replacing the best friends has been a great avenue for me to do a deep dive into their friendship#aughhhh i just. love them so much#and i do want to explore them in a situation where there is relationship potential even if that relationship never actually happens#because everything between them during tdwt could be so MESSY!!#like alejandro says he's just manipulating courtney but he's also doing it to make heather jealous but he's also genuinely worried about he#after the duncan thing but this is the only way he knows how to express that concern without making himself look weak#meanwhile courtney is falling for the act but she also knows its an act and is going with it for the emotional support it provides and shes#just doing it to make duncan/gwen jealous but she also is starting to see the real alejandro underneath it all because he does care even#though he doesn't want to and they do feel a strong connection that they dont know whether its platonic or romantic because romance is bein#shoved down their throats on this show and theyre both in complicated romantic dynamics with other people that theyre the easier option for#one another but they dont really want to be with one another like it just doesnt feel right#okay okay i legit have to stop and go to bed but just. them. im thinking so hard about them#platonic alecourtney
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