#like father by the front bottoms IS a dean song to me. and to me that song is explicitly about CSA. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lazarushound · 3 months

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The Official lazarushound Dean Winchester Playlist

Okay so this playlist is a big deal to literally no one except me but I spent like two hours explaining every single song on my dean playlist and I'll be damned if I don't share it with SOMEONE.

The playlist in question, which I update and add songs too fairly often(ish). It's roughly arranged in order of Dean's story, from pre-canon to the finale. A fair few of the songs are courtesy of catgirlhannibal, whom I adore.

Warning that is is a VERY LONG READ and almost definitely is plagued with typos. Without further ado, here is the 9.5k word explanation of every single song (at time of posting) on the playlist. Call that shit explicable Dean Winchester vibes, complete with my favourite lyrics from each song.

• Ramble On - Led Zeppelin

Dean's favourite song! The whole song is basically about having no choice but to keep going, even when things are tough. It's also actually about LOTR which is funny cause Dean's secretly a nerd lol. But yeah, it reflects a lot on Dean's nature as a traveller and someone who never settles in one place for long. Sometimes I grow so tired but I know I've got one thing I've got to do - I ramble on.

• Travelling Riverside Blues - Led Zeppelin

Dean's other favourite song! Probably not a popular reading of this song but for me, it definitely has a level of queer coding. Asked sweet mama, let me be your kid, she said "you might get hurt if you don't keep it hid" is the most obvious example of it.

• Psalms 40:2 - The Mountain Goats

Very biblical song lol. It's a lot about small town America (as many TMG songs are) and shitty motels which resonates with Dean pretty heavily. Not to mention: He has raised me from the pit and set me high.

• Night Moves - Bob Segar

This one is literally in the show so naturally reminds me of him. But it's about a teenage romance which definitely makes me think of young Dean. I mean, come on: out in the backseat of my '60 Chevy when the man drives a '67 Chevy??

• Father - The Front Bottoms

A few songs on this playlist are pretty much only there for one or two lines. This is not one of them. I could write another essay about this song and how it relates to Dean, every fucking line. You were high school, and I was just more like real life, and you were okay as a girlfriend, but I was just more like his wife 😮‍💨

• Old Number Seven - The Devil Makes Three

This is another song I'm pretty convinced was written about Dean. Once played it on guitar and my dad asked if it was about him so that's all the validation I needed. Angels start to look good to me, they're gonna have to deport me to the fiery deep.

• Mission - Alex G

This song to me is very much pre canon/season one Dean. It's all about following orders and being a good soldier, much like Dean's devotion to his father. I was trained to stick to the mission, I was trained, I kept it on track. To me, Mission has a slightly bitter tone, as though the narrator is resentful that they've followed orders so obediently and only suffered as a result.

• Adam Raised a Cain - Bruce Springsteen

Courtesy of catgirlhannibal. What a surprise, another biblical song. Dean sees himself as nothing more than a soldier, violent and aggressive. He sees his father as a hero, despite the fact that he's an abusive bastard. Well, daddy worked his whole life for nothing but pain, now he walks these empty rooms looking for something to blame.

• Shoulders - Big Thief

Okay, I'd argue this song is more akin to Sam than Dean but fuck you, this is my playlist and I choose the music. And the blood of the man who killed my mother with his hands, it's in me, it's in me, in my veins is obviously related to Sam and Azazel but also to Dean and John, as though Dean comes to realise that he's just like his father.

• Celene - Gigi Perez

End of season two! This song is about losing a sibling and is very much the mindset I pictured Dean to be in after losing Sam for the first time. I'd also argue it's how Dean felt when Sam was at Stanford. The other day I thought of something funny, but no one would have laughed but you.

• Like Real People Do - Hozier

Why were you digging? What did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth? HELLOOO CASTIEL! Very season four Destiel, those boys will NOT kiss like real people do.

• It's Only Sex - Car Seat Headrest

Okay so post-resurrection Dean is VERRRRRY traumatised which makes it difficult for him to enjoy the things he used to love, including sex. This song is also about his struggle over his feelings for Cas: what happens if I don't like it? I like you.

• Not Allowed - TV Girl

Well, you may not like it but you better learn how cause it's your turn now! Very much following on from It's Only Sex, similar themes in this song but more relating to Dean's insistence on keeping up The Act and pretending he's the same man he was before Hell.

• Presumably Dead Arm - Sidney Gish

Second catgirlhannibal song to make the list. Just to start this off, this isn't the start of anything. To me, this whole song is Dean skirting around his feelings for Cas and trying to pretend they don't exist in hopes they go away eventually. They don't. Honey, you are nothing to me, (but alcohol and dopamine)/(I don't call people anything thought to be so sweet).

• Tangled in Ropes - Holy Locust

I literally wrote a whole essay about this one so I'll keep it short with just the best lyric. Had a laugh made of wax, house made of butter, how they melted that summer.

• Hate Yourself - TV Girl

If there's one thing we've learned about Dean Winchester, it's that the man loves to use sex as a means to avoid his problems. How long will it take? Before you start to hate yourself and go straight into the arms of someone else is just straight up Dean struggling to give himself time to grieve and overcome his trauma. He'd rather just hookup with someone else and pretend it doesn't make him hate himself more and more every time.

• Cherry Wine - Hozier

See: my whole essay about this song and Destiel. And it's worth it, it's divine, I have this some of the time.

• Body to Flame - Lucy Dacus

Another catgirlhannibal song! I see you holding your breath with your arms outstretched, waiting for someone to come rip open your chest. This song to me feels like Dean kicking himself for every trusting Cas, after Cas betrays him for the first time. To accept Cas as his family was going against his every instinct to close himself off from outsiders, and Cas just proved him right by betraying him.

• Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridges

Okay this one is basically just for I hate you for what you did, and I miss you like a little kid lol. It just perfectly encapsulates Dean, bitter and resentful towards Cas whilst simultaneously missing him so much his heart aches.

• I'm Your Man - Mitski

Oh, woof. Continuing the betrayal arc, this song is all about Dean's guilt. It's his fault Cas fell from Heaven, his fault this angel isn't holy anymore. I'm sorry I'm the one you love, no one will ever love me like you again.

• Not Strong Enough - Boygenius

Where do I start? Always an angel, never a god 😮‍💨 I think if you played this song to Dean it would break him a little bit. I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM!!!

• Legit Tattoo Gun - The Front Bottoms

I was aware of this song but catgirlhannibal brought to my attention that it's Destiel coded 🧐 Who did I think I was? Who did I think that I could be? Oh, how dare me. Dean just kicking himself for ever thinking he could allow himself to have something with Cas.

• SHALLOW (PPL SWIM IN SHALLOW WATER) - Saya Gray

Okay, this one is a bit of a "hear me out." I'm seeing Mother Mary, she says I'm closer to Hell than the clouds are to Heaven. Dean's mother is called Mary so she's LITERALLY Mother Mary which scratches my brain very nicely. Obviously Dean sees himself as a sinner and doomed for Hell, despite the fact that he's a hero. And I left my enemies, cause nobody hates myself more than me, GOOD LORD DOES THAT MAN LOVE SOME SELF LOATHING. My mother's evil and the angels too is soooooo self explanatory. Dean has an idealistic version of Mary in his head which is challenged when she comes back to life and he interacts with her as an adult. There's also the fact that real angels aren't as "good" as you'd think. Sometimes I don't think I'm cherished enough.

• John Wayne Gacy, Jr. - Sufjan Stevens

This song is an allegory for being gay. The narrator sees himself as evil, just as bad as the serial killer for which the song is named, just because he's gay. And in my best behaviour, I am really just like him, look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid.

• Always - Panic! At the Disco

Another one that is less obvious without me explaining it lol. The light in this song is a reference to the Great Gatsby which is a whole other queer coded story in its own right. But I always (hehe) picture this song as Dean struggling with Cas' feelings for him which are becoming more and more evident. It was always you falling for me particularly stands out to me, along with you are taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card.

• Star Tripping - Kevin Atwater

Okay I looooooove love this song. But it's another song which relates to God and being queer. It's about a very toxic relationship, in which one person is relatively okay with their sexuality and the other is incredibly repressed (seem familiar?). I could use any lyric from this song but I'll go with: you think He made you wrong, I think you're giving Him way too much credit, crying at the party, know it only bothers you if you let it, later you can kiss me, blame it on the stuff you took to forget it.

• The Calendar - Panic! At The Disco

Another Panic! song 💀 also from vices and virtues. Another "hear me out." There's the more obvious I will come back to life but only for you but I also think the rest of the song relates pretty strongly to Destiel. You said if you don't let it out, you're gonna let it eat you away, I'd rather be a cannibal baby, animals like me don't talk anyway. For me, it strongly resembles Dean's view of himself, an attack dog. Cannibalism as a metaphor for love. And obviously that man loves to repress stuff and let it eat him away, so to speak.

• Lacy - Olivia Rodrigo

Lawd. This song has a lot of queer subtext in and of itself. It's all about adoring someone to the point where you become insecure because you know you'll never be as good as them. The song is bitter and resentful whilst simultaneously loving and adoring. I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you, yeah I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you. He hates himself because he loves Cas. HE HATES HIMSELF BECAUSE HE LOVES CAS.

• Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths

Dean does not let himself have nice things. Lord knows, it would be the first time. This song feels pretty self explanatory to me lol.

• Feeling Oblivion - Turin Brakes

Okay this is my favourite song of all time so I'm slightly biased for including it HOWEVER. I feel it also applies to Dean pretty well. We're now at the point in the story where Dean is about to/has already lost Cas. This song invokes an incredibly deep feeling of nostalgia for me, like looking back on when things were better. Now it is night time, maybe we're cruising avoiding the anti-cruise, like tell me this isn't Dean and Cas just driving around Kansas cause Dean can't sleep 😭 and don't even get me fucking started on so don't leave me here on my own, by the time fear takes me over, will we still be rolling? Feeling oblivion cause this song makes me cry every time I hear it I stg.

• Who We Are - Hozier

Poor Dean :( bro has just lost his best friend, and is now realising that he'll never be able to tell him how he felt. It's like he's seeing things plainly for the first time, realising what he's been missing. He never had Cas because they spent so long avoiding their relationship, and now it's too late. You only feel it when it's lost, getting through still has its cost, quietly, it slips through your fingers, love, falling from you drop by drop.

• Crack Baby - Mitski

I don't know if I really need to say more than: crack baby, you don't know what you want, but you know that you had it once, and you know that you want it back.

• Knockin' on Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan

This is another song that's in the show (dark side of the moon, I love you) so naturally reminds me of Dean. It might be a bit on the nose putting it right at the end but it just feels like Dean finally letting himself rest (die of tetanus). Mama, put my guns in the ground, I can't shoot them anymore.

#supernatural #cw supernatural #spn #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #dean and cas #destiel #spotify playlist #character playlist #playlist

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hotdogcabbagesausage · 5 months

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What songs remind you of dean or Sam? if you don’t mind me asking?

i don’t mind at all!! :) thank you for the ask. i’ve got quite a few for both of them

dean- Black Fins (Ricky Montgomery) / Heroin (Badflower) / Night Shift (Lucy Dacus) / Not Strong Enough (boygenius) / Father (The Front Bottoms) / Wife (Mitski) / Weird Fishes/ Arpeggi (Radiohead) / My Body’s Made of Crushed Little Stars (Mitski) / The Family Jewels (Marina) / Boys Don’t Cry (The Cure) / Abbey (Mitski) / Bug Like An Angel (Mitski)

sam- I Bet On Losing Dogs (Mitski) / Father (The Front Bottoms) / this is me trying (Taylor Swift) / The Family Jewels (Marina) / Working for the Knife (Mitski) / Pearl Diver (Mitski) / I Guess (Mitski) / Monster (Imagine Dragons)

#music #supernatural #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #asks

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mizar-system · 2 years

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Songs The Gang listen to except its true because these are songs we listen to. (Modern & not)

Darrel

• listens + hums to anythin’ that comes on.

• Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

• Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

Sodapop

• Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

• Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

• Video Killed The Radio Star - The Buggles

• Beachboy - McCafferty

• It’s My Party - Lesley Gore

• Hit & Run - Hayley Kiyoko

• Are You A Boy Or Are You A Girl? - The Barbarians

• It Ain’t Easy - The Sad

• Return To Sender - Elvis Presley

• (You’re The) Devil In Disguise - Elvis Presley

• Boys Dont Cry - The Cure

• Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

• Lonesome Town - Ricky Nelson

• I Don’t Love You Anymore (Acoustic) - Ricky Montgomery

• Material Girl - Madonna

Ponyboy

• You Are Gold - The National Parks

• Castle On The Hill - Ed Sheeran

• Cruisin’ For A Bruisin’ - Teen Beach Movie

• Kids - Current Joys

• Can’t Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley

• Are You Bored Yet? - Wallows

• Blame - Air Traffic Controller

•Talk To You - Ricky Montgomery

• Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

Steve

• Happy Together - The Turtles

• Everybody Loves Somebody - Dean Martin

• Material Girl - Madonna

• Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

• Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

Two-Bit

• Fly Me To The Moon - Frank Sinatra

• Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

• I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire - Brian Hyland

• Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Wham!

• Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

• Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

Dallas

• Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley

• cold weather - glass beach

• Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

• I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire - Brian Hyland

• Put Your Head On My Shoulder - Paul Anka

• I Love You Like An Alcoholic - The Taxpayers

• Sober - FIDLAR

• Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

Johnny

• Freaks - Surf Curse

• On The Run - Steven Universe song

• Under My Skin - Jukebox The Ghost

• Body Terror Song - AJJ

• Francis Forever - Mitski

• I Hate My Mom - GRLwood

• Beautiful Boy - John Lennon

• Devil Town - Cavetown

• Horrible Kids - Set It Off

• Treehouse - Alex G, Emily Yacina

Songs that, I dunno who likes ‘em but people here like ‘em , or multiple people like em ‘n im jus’ too lazy to put them on all the lists

Cool Kids - Echosmith (Ponyboy + Johnny)

We’ll Meet Again - The Ink Spots (everyone)

Monster (ft. Olivia Olson & Half Shy) - Adventure Time

Death Cup - Mom Jeans.

On The Run - Steven Universe Song (Johnny + Ponyboy)

Gorgeous - Taylor Swift

Twin Sized Mattress - The Front Bottoms

Tower Of Mistakes - Steven Universe

Space Was Cool - Markiplier

IDK If I’m a Boy - Blue Foster

Sorry For Me - Ricky Montgomery

So Alright, Cool, Whatever - The Happy Flies

Photograph - Cody Fry

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Stars

Fool - Cavetown

Fourth Of July - Sufjan Stevens

Good Grief - Bastille

Father - The Front Bottoms

Can Ghosts Be Gay? - carpetgarden

#i think this is it #do what you will with this information #we all like sweet caroline #darry will literally hum to anything #sodapop curtis #ponyboy curtis #darrel curtis #darry curtis #two bit mathews #steve randle #keith mathews #johnny cade #dallas winston #dissociative identity disorder #did system #the outsiders #music taste #fictives

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the-type-a · 1 year

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We're back with part two of Duncney playlist songs. If I accidentally suggest the same one twice, just blame it on the fact that I'm sick. I'm giving sections this time!

CANON DUNCNEY:

-Your Stupid Face (Kaden MacKay)

-Boys (Charli XCX)

-Blank Space (Taylor Swift)

-The Call (Regina Spektor)

-The Calling (TheFatRat)

-Darkside (Alan Walker)

-COPYCAT (Billie Eilish)

-Your Obedient Servant (Hamilton)

-Dead Girl Walking (Heathers)

-Ain't It Fun (Paramore)

-Try (P!nk)

-Take A Hint (Victorious)

-Everybody Loves Me (OneRepublic)

ANGSTY DUNCNEY:

No Children (The Mountain Goats)

Rat (Penelope Scott)

-Oleander (Mother Mother)

-Oh Klahoma (Jack Stauber)

-All That Glitters (Earl)

-Already Gone (Sleeping At Last)

-Boys Will Be Bugs (Cavetown)

-Today Today (Jack Stauber)

-Be Alright (Dean Lewis)

-What About Us (P!nk)

-Me and My Husband (Mitski)

-Who Is She? (Reprise) (Centaurworld)

-Lotta True Crime (Penelope Scott)

-All Eyes On Me (OR3O)

-I Of The Storm (Of Monsters and Men)

-Cleopatra (The Lumineers)

-The Moon Will Sing (The Crane Wives)

-Requiem (Dear Evan Hansen)

-Good For You (Dear Evan Hansen)

-Words Fail (Dear Evan Hansen)

-If Only (Descendants)

-Just Another Girl (The Killers)

-Don't Come Back Here (KIRA)

-Don't Make Me (MALINDA)

-Evelyn Evelyn (Evelyn Evelyn)

-Are You Satisfied? (MARINA)

-Blue Lips (Regina Spektor)

-Two Birds (Regina Spektor)

-Feed My Ego (Mickey Darling)

-Cardigan (Taylor Swift)

-August (Taylor Swift)

-Hoax (Taylor Swift)

-Bruno is Orange (Hop Along)

-Father (The Front Bottoms)

-Ghost (Reinaeiry)

-Ghost (Confetti)

-Ghosts (Jacob Tillberg)

-A Boy Like That (Glee Cast)

-Rose's Turn (Glee Cast)

-Glimpse of Us (Joji)

-If it's True (Hadestown)

-Come Home With Me (Reprise) (Hadestown)

-How Long? (Hadestown)

-Satisfied (Hamilton)

-I Say No (Heathers)

-Freeze Your Brain (Heathers)

-Meant To Be Yours (Heathers)

-I Am Damaged (Heathers)

-His Theme (Caleb Hyles)

-How to Save a Life (The Fray)

-Monster (dodie)

-If I Were a Boy (Beyonce)

-I'm glad you're evil too -Re-release (Rachie)

-Personal (Stars)

-Goodbye (Bo Burnham)

-Angel Eyes and Basketball (Foot Ox)

-Heather (Conan Gray)

-Are You Bored Yet? (Wallows)

-LOONATIC - Eng. Ver. (LOONA)

-Hurts Like Hell (Fleurie)

-Mad at Disney (slem ilese)

-prom dress (mxmtoon)

-I Knew You Once (Hollie Allen)

-Blame (Air Traffic Contoller)

-Oblivion (Dirty Palm)

-Once in a Dream (In the City)

-Catching Fire (Acoustic) (Sum 41)

-Family of Me (Ben Folds)

-feelings are fatal (mxmtoon)

-Cigarette Ahegao (Penelope Scott)

-putting a spin on never ever getting rid of me (Egg)

-Praying (Kesha)

-If I Could Take This Moment Back (Tangled the Series)

-I'd Give Anything (Tangled the Series)

-All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor Swift

-Look What You Made Me Do (Taylor Swift)

-All You Wanna Do (Six the Musical, live recording. Make sure to get the one with the purple cover.)

-No Way (SIX)

-Heart of Stone (SIX)

-Get Down (SIX)

-I Don't Need Your Love (SIX)

-Yr the Best! (carpetgarden)

-Smells Like Teen Spirit (Malia J)

-In My Head (Derivakat)

-Swallowing Shadows (Blixemi)

-Spider Dance (Adriana Figueroa)

-Bugbear (chloe moriondo)

-How Did You Love (Shinedown)

-A Sadness Runs Through Him (The Hoosiers)

-Trust Me Not (Backseat Vagabond)

-UH OH! (Sub Urban)

-An Unhealthy Obsession (The Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra)

-DARKSIDE (Neoni)

-Way Less Sad (AJR)

-you should see me in a crown (Billie Eilish)

WHOLESOME DUNCNEY:

-Found (Steven Universe)

-Fragile Things (Reprise) (Centaurword)

-Monster (Adventure Time)

-In A Crowd of Thousands (Anastasia)

-You (Keaton Henson)

-Can't Help Falling in Love (Annnapantsu cover)

-The Daughter of the Fish and the Ram (The Scary Jokes)

-To You (OR3O)

-Obvious (Dear Evan Hansen)

-If I Could Tell Her (Dear Evan Hansen)

-Don't Forget (Toby Fox)

-Electric Love (BORNS)

-Riptide (Vance Joy)

-Falling In Love (Crystal Bats)

-Lady Stardust (Lisa Miskovsky)

-Hey Stephen (Taylor Swift)

-Fly Me to the Moon/Lucky (Rick Hale, Breea Guttery)

-Jessie's Girl (Glee Cast Version)

-A Million Dreams (The Greatest Showman)

-Come Home With Me (Hadestown)

-Wait For Me (Hadestown)

-Wait For Me (Reprise) (Hadestown)

-Helpless (Hamilton)

-That Would Be Enough (Hamilton)

-Best Of Wives and Best of Women (Hamilton)

-If I Can't Have You (Shawn Mendes)

-Safe & Sound (Kurt Hugo Schneider)

-Love Will Find A Way (The Lion King 2)

-Lover (Taylor Swift)

-Paper Rings (Taylor Swift)

-hey (Egg)

-Give Me Your Attention (Candelion)

-Next Stop Anywhere (Tangled the Series)

-With You By My Side (Tangled the Series)

-The Girl Who Has Everything (Tangled the Series)

-The Girl Who Has Everything (Reprise) (Tangled the Series)

-Dandelions (Ruth B.)

-A song about Nothing (MALINDA)

-Here I Am - End Title (Bryan Adams)

-One Sided Love (Planttvibes)

-You'll Be In My Heart (Phil Collins)

-Can't Stop Singing (Teen Beach Movie, switch the male and female roles for this one)

-Two Worlds Apart (Lilyrabbitsings)

I CAN THINK OF FUNNY DUNCNEY SITUATIONS FOR THESE:

-The Crush Song (Tina the Twina)

-No Reason (Beetlejuice)

-Roxie (Chicago)

-Sincerely, Me (Dear Evan Hansen)

-A Winter's Ball (Hamilton)

-Just Monika (Random Encounters)

-Senpai Notice Me (Random Encounters)

-Legendary Heroes (Random Encounters)

JUST COURTNEY SONGS: (not even sure if these ones count but have them anyways)

-I Deserve to Bleed (Sushi Soucy)

-Disobedient (Steven Universe)

-Haven't You Noticed (I'm a Star) (Steven Universe)

-Chameleon (Blixemi)

-Dollhouse (Melanie Martinez)

-Hiding in Your Hands (Dear Evan Hansen)

-don't stop dancing (reprise) (Bojack Horseman)

-Party Mom and Invisible Dad (That Handsome Devil)

-Top of My School (Katherine Lynn-Rose)

GWUNCAN IS TOXIC AND HE'S STILL IN LOVE WITH COURTNEY SONGS:

-And He Runs (Blixemi)

-You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift)

-Stepsister's Lament (Cinderella the Musical)

-She Knows (Hollie Col)

...and I thought I wouldn't have enough for a part two.

Added a good handful of these! Great list ✨

#duncney playlist

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eugeniedanglars · 3 years

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sometimes i do wonder why i’m so drawn to media about people with fucked-up relationships with their fathers despite having a great relationship with my own dad

#like yes my last two downloaded songs are father by the front bottoms and townie by mitski #yes the characters i'm most prone to psychoanalyzing are adam parrish will byers and dean winchester #no you can't infer anything about me from that

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michaelmilligan · 2 years

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Day 14 of B&B's (@drgarth and @starrynightdeancas) Holiday Advent Calendar Event! (Aka modern royalty AU! Because why not lmao.)

Sleigh Ride//Blanket//“Sleigh Ride”

Michael hadn't been sure what was supposed to be romantic about a sleigh ride, but sitting there with Prince Adam now, sharing a blanket... well. Maybe he could see it, after all.

Which was awkward, because they weren't romantic. Michael liked to think that they were friends, in a way, but anything more than that would have been wishful thinking. Even worse was the fact that Adam had been humming 'Sleigh Ride' on and off and while Michael didn't know all the lyrics of the song, he was sure there was something about hand holding and cuddling in there.

His hand kept itching and he had to curl it up into a fist to keep from reaching out.

They had been mostly silent since getting into the sleigh, just looking out at the snowcapped landscape around them. A few snowflakes had come down on them since then, but it had remained a light dusting, hardly worth mentioning. There were a few ice crystals in Prince Adam's hair, though, sparkling between the golden strands. One more excuse for Michael to reach out and-

But no, he couldn't just dothat. No matter how much he wanted to run his fingers through that soft-looking hair, he hadto keep a grip. Making Adam uncomfortable was the last thing he wanted to do. Not to mention causing a diplomatic incident between their kingdoms.

Michael sighed.

“Sorry you're stuck with me,” Adam suddenly said. His eyes were fixed on the trees around them. “I know you wanted to go with Dean.”

What?

“No,” Michael said, frowning.

“No?” Finally, Adam turned to him. “But... Prince Gabriel said...”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Gabriel says a lot of things, and most of them are nonsense.”

Adam bit his bottom lip, a thoughtful look on his face. “But your dad is always trying to set you up with Dean. I thought...”

“My father has a lot of ideas about the world and the people inhabiting it.” Michael grimaced, not eager to say much more. His father was a good man and a wise king, but sometimes...

“So... your dad wants you to date Dean, but you don't want to,” Adam summarized, shifting on the bench.

“You could say that.” Another way to say it was that Michael hated Dean. And Dean hated Michael. He was frankly surprised that they hadn't killed each other yet.

Maybe it was because Adam was usually there to defuse the situation, and to make Michael re-think his desire to murder the entire Winchester family.

“Oh,” Adam made, giving Michael a calculating look. “So you... hm.”

“Is that... a problem?” Michael asked, suddenly nervous. Had Adam only been nice to him because he thought he was in love with his brother? Because he had felt bad for him, or had assumed that he would marry into the family at some point?

“What? No! It's not...” Adam bit his lip again. “I'm just... confused.”

“Well, I'm surprised you thought I liked him. We literally yelled at each other just last night.”

Adam shrugged. “Just figured you two had a weird way of flirting.”

“I threatened to stab him!”

“A veryweird way.”

Michael slumped back on the bench and ran a hand over his face. “Adam, hostility isn't flirting. I think you might have watched too many bad romance movies.”

“Hey, Jane Austen already wrote about-”

“Okay, one: I'm fairly certain that Mr. Darcy never threatened to murder Elizabeth. And two: Things between them only started getting romantic once he apologized for his rude behaviour, which, frankly, is just not going to happen because I am entirely justified in my low opinion of the horrible man who is unfortunately your brother.”

Adam blinked at him in surprise, then laughed. “Wow, someone has opinions about Pride and Prejudice. And also 'unfortunately my brother', huh. Not that you're wrong, but...”

“Well. He isthe only downside to knowing you,” Michael huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“That's true.” Adam's voice was teasing, but his eyes were soft.

“Yes, well.” Michael hadn't actually wanted to say it like that. The phrasing seemed... a bit obvious with regard to his feelings. But now it was out in the open, and it wasn't like he was going to take it back.

“So, theoretically. If someone else – someone who isn't Dean – were to ask you. Like. On a date.” Adam's face betrayed absolutely nothing about where this was going. Was he going to...? But no, that couldn't be. There must be someone else he was asking for, or maybe it was really just theoretical- “Would you say yes?”

Michael averted his eyes and cleared his throat. “That would depend entirely on who's asking.”

“Hm. Do you have a list of people who would qualify?”

There was still no way for Michael to read into Adam's expression. At least none that wasn't fuelled entirely by anxiety.

“No, of course there isn't a list.” Michael floundered, then swallowed down the panic. “One name is hardly enough to constitute a list.”

“One name, huh.” Adam's voice wavered weirdly. “So you're in love with someone else.”

Adam probably meant 'someone else than Dean', but it sounded like 'someone else than Adam', and Michael couldn't let that stand. “Well, I... like someone.”

Adam turned away, but Michael caught an expression of pain on his face.

“You look sad. Why do you look sad?” he blurted out, panicking again.

“I'm sorry. It's just... I'm stupid. Since you're not in love with Dean, I thought maybe...” Adam pulled his coat tighter around himself. “... that maybe we could... Look, I'm sorry-”

Michael grabbed his arm. “It's you,” he said, hoping, praying, that he hadn't misunderstood.

“What?” Adam asked, eyes wide.

“It's you. The one that I like... is you.”

Adam blinked slowly a few times. “What?” he asked again.

Oh no, he had misunderstood. “I'm sorry, I just thought you were saying-” He tried to pull his hand away, but Adam grabbed his wrist, holding it in an iron-clad grip.

“Go out with me,” Adam said with determination.

Now it was Michael's turn to blink and stare. “What?”

“Go out with- oh you know what, this can already count as a date.” Adam's hand loosened its grip, but only to slip down and entangle its finger with Michael's. “Go out with me again some time?” he asked cheerfully.

Michael looked down at their joined hands, dumbfounded but happy. “Yes.”

“We could watch Pride and Prejudice.” Adam smiled.

“Which version?”

“The one with Matthew Macfadyen. Who knows, maybe this time he will threaten to stab Keira Nightley.”

Michael huffed out a laugh. “I sure hope not. But... We should probably check, just to be sure.”

“Yeah.” Adam squeezed his hand and shifted closer to him on the bench until their legs and arms were pressed together.

Oh. Michael suddenly realized that they were holding hands and cuddling. He found himself humming a few notes of 'Sleigh Ride', and Adam leaned in and kissed him.

#I don't even know what came over me but hey #Midam deserves a modern royalty AU #b&badventcalendar #Midam #Adamichael #Supernatural fanfiction

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mostribelle · 3 years

Text

Bulletproof

You're Dean Winchesters teenage daughter who is trying to have a fun night out with some friends, but it never seems to go how its supposed to go...

Gif not mine, credit to owner.

Warnings: mention of alcohol

Words: 2604

The brunette swayed to the loud beat of the club as people passed by her. Tonight was her one night off from hunting and she was ecstatic. Her dad and uncle were back at the bunker, just having a relaxing night in with Castiel and her grandpa. Being seventeen and having a dad who does illegal things such as fake IDs was great. She could get into any club she wanted since she had the classic Winchester look. Now, of course, she hadn't told them she was headed here, or else her dad would for sure ground her for life. So she lied and said she was going over to Kallies house- which wasn't entirely a lie since she was there and they did get ready together. She never told them that's where she was staying. So as she ran her hand through her long hair, she felt a hand grip her waist and she turned to look over her shoulder and snickered when it was her friend's older brother.

Kallies older brother, Damon, was twenty-one and their DD for the night. He made sure not to let the girls out of his sight, or else his mom would kill him. Bailey turned around as she swung her hips side to side, "Thought you were supposed to be watching your little sister," she wouldn't lie. He was insanely attractive- but never did anything despite her friend saying it would cool to have her bestie and her brother together. Then again, Kallie was into cliches and all she read were books on Wattpad.

Damon grinned like a Cheshire cat as he lowered his hands so they rested on her hips. "-Well, if you paid any attention in the last fifteen minutes, you would have noticed that she is sitting down with one of her besties in the corner." He smirked at her crestfallen expression. The brunette paused her dancing to glance for her friend and when she spotted the girl snoring in the corner with one of Damons friends, she smacked the man's chest.

"You ass! I-I thought she actually found someone else here.." She tried to frown, but when he gripped her chin so she was forced to look up at him, she smiled shyly.

Damon's black hair shone purple as the lights changed and an older song came through the loudspeakers. He chuckled with a shake of his head. "Sorry baby, just thought to shake you up a little." He grinned when Everybody by the Backstreet Boys came on. The girl's eyes widened as the song came on and she immediately dragged the man out to the center of the dance floor. She started grinding her hips all over and tensed a little when he stepped closer so she ground on him. When he bent down to her ear, he whispered, "S'okay Bails... Just go with the flow of the music and if you feel uncomfortable, tell me alright?" He backed up a little when she nodded in understanding.

The music grew quieter she swore as he grabbed her softly. She would usually never be like this, but she blamed the alcohol that she had consumed. She was so into the music that she hadn't noticed her phone ringing in the dress pocket. Damon felt something buzz and when he looked down, he saw a light emitting from the small slit and he reached down to grab it. Panic rose in her chest and she tried to pull away but he gripped her tightly to his chest as people danced around them.

"Damon! W-what are you doing?" She turned around just in time to see him raise the phone to his ear and answer. He heard Dean on the other hand and inwardly cursed. The man held his finger up to silence her and that's when she noticed it was her phone and it was probably her dad. "Fuck!" She cried out and pulled him away through the crowd and into a dark hallway. With an extra push, she opened the exit door and they stood outside.

She watched Damon's facial expressions twitch every so often as if Dean was going off.

Damon nodded, "Sir she's fine. We are in the basement with a few other of my friends and hers-"

Silence until the man nodded again.

"Yes, do you want to talk to her?" He shot her a curious look to which she waved her hands as no. Her dad would know for sure she was drunk. She could never lie to her daddy. Before Damon could say she was busy, Dean immediately said yes. He shot her a knowing look. "Uh okay, she's right here-"

The phone was passed to her and she inwardly cried. This would not end well.

In a sickly sweet voice, "Hiya, daddy!" She winced at her loud voice. He either ignored it or already knew she was wasted.

"Hey baby girl, you busy at the moment? Damon seemed out of breath." Eyes wide, she slapped the man's arm and he cried out 'what did I do?'

"Ah, no way! You crazy old man-" she hiccuped and bit her lip quick after. "I'm totally fine. He just came down the stairs and you know him, outta shape." She joked lightly.

Dean sighed into the phone. He rubbed his eyes before glancing at his dad and brother. The three men in the room all shared a knowing glance. "Baby girl?" He received a small 'yeah' before responding, "Where are you really. I know you're drunk so tell me where you are." He heard her swear loudly which made him chuckle. He was pissed. But he knew she just wanted to have a little fun and he wouldn't be so harsh on her.

She mumbled her coordinates and heard Dean curse.

"You're at Lights?!" The girl winced at his loud tone but meekly answered him. She heard a voice in the background before he spoke again. "Look, just stay with Damon and Kallie... I'm on my way." He hung up and she felt terrible.

She not only lied to her dad but also went to the club where she had gone missing one time during a vampire case. Damon wrapped his arms around the crying girl, she just sobbed. Her makeup was smeared, her heels were off and she wore his jacket as they stood in the front of the club. It had been fifteen minutes since she heard from her father and now she was scared. Damon told her that Kallie was just with a few friends of hers and their boyfriends so she relaxed.

"I'm sure it'll be okay. He's just worried and it didn't help that you lied," he tried to joke but she was so deep in her thoughts she hadn't noticed.

The girl heard a familiar rumble of Baby and she tensed up. Damon rubbed her arm soothingly as if it would help but she was so terrified of what her father would say. These were the times she wished her mother was still here. To calm down her dad when she did stupid teenage rebellion things. When the car came into view, she gently pushed away from Damon and walked to the edge of the curb. The door slammed shut and out walked her dad, she peeked into the car and saw her uncle in the passenger side with pursed lips. Bailey's bottom lip quivered when he neared her. She went to open her mouth to say how sorry she was but turned around to vomit. Damon backed up and frowned as she cried.

Dean rushed over and wrapped his arms around her but not before wrapping his flannel around her shivering body. The sobs wracked her frail body as she turned into her father's chest. Dean's harsh glare found the eldest Fritellie's eyes and mouthed to leave them. With one last glance, Damon walked back into the building and the door shut behind him. Dean's temper eased as he was left alone with Bailey. The young girl mumbled apologies to her father but he just shushed her and ran his hands through her hair.

Dean could see how the nightmares affected how she behaved. She had been withdrawn from her whole family since she was kidnapped. That was three months ago. Sam and John had just brushed it off as her being a rebellious teenager. Dads know best.

Slowly but surely, she grew tired and rested her cheek to his heart. Dean bent down a little at the knees to pick her up bridal style and carry her to Baby. Sam saw the pair come closer and he got out to open the door. Dean kissed her forehead before letting her down and onto the seat. She turned into the flannel and yawned before letting herself fall back asleep.

Shutting the door quietly, Dean turned to rub his face when Sam opened his mouth. "I think she should see someone, Dean. This- This was okay for the first week but now it's going on three months. Three, Dean." At his brother's words, the elder Winchester scoffed and kicked the dirt.

"Ya don't think I know that Sammy?! Of course, I do. I was there when she was found goddamnit," he sighed and placed his hands on his hips and pondered over the next move. "I'll talk to her in the morning about it. I ain't forcing her though. Maybe Cas can help her." He said the last part more for himself than Sams.

The pair stayed silent all the way back to the bunker.

Dean drove into the garage and parked Baby before getting out and picking up his baby girl. She groaned a little but nuzzled into him again. John was in the den with a cigarette and a bottle of beer when the door opened and he heard heavy footsteps. Dean walked by with Bailey in his arms and Sam turned into the room. The younger Winchester sibling sat down with a sigh and shook his head at his dad.

"She's not well. Dean says he sees it, but he hasn't done much to help her. Maybe I should just-"

John cut him off with a glare. "You will not be doing anything, boy. Bailey is your niece and his daughter. You know how your brother is. He will do something on his own terms. That's how he's always been." He grumbled into the beer. Sam huffed out in annoyance for his dad taking his side.

Inside Bailey's room, were polaroids of her and her friends hanging on the walls. A family picture hung above the teen's bed along with some tickets to concerts she had been to with her dad. Dean had taken off her shoes and threw them onto the ground as he tucked her under the covers. He grabbed her hand and sat on the edge of her bed, watching over her. He wished his mother was here to help him out. He knew his little girl felt lost without a mother figure in her life, but he also felt that if he did find someone, she'd think he was replacing her.

Dean loomed over her before placing a chaste kiss on her head and walking to the door. He closed the door softly, before walking to his own room. He would have gone back to the den and sat with his dad and brother but he was angry at Sam for telling him what he already knew.

Dean took off his clothes, climbed under the blankets, and closed his eyes.

His mind wandered to if he'd been a terrible dad lately, causing her to rebel and sneak off without his permission. Or lie straight to his face at your whereabouts. He never really believed in God until he met him, nor did he really ever pray. But he now silently asked the heavens what to do to help his little girl out.

Sleep caught Dean in its warm embrace and his dreams were plagued with what to do with Bailey.

---------------

Sam stood by the counter with his earbuds in as he mixed his early morning post-run drink. John sat at the kitchen table across from Dean, both had coffee mugs in front of them- one laced with whiskey. The eldest Winchester kept his gaze on the newspaper, looking out for any new hunts or leads for one. The trio heard light footsteps come down from the hallway and towards them. Bailey entered the silent room and walked over to the coffee pot. Reaching up she grabbed her favorite mug- it was a family picture along with Cas. She poured some creamer into the mug before the coffee.

John was the first to speak. "Have fun last night, baby doll? Sure seemed like it when we called you." Dean shot his dad a quick glare but just shook his head.

Bailey looked down into the mug with shame in her soft eyes. "I'm sorry pops. I-I have no idea what went through my head when I disobeyed you guys," she mumbled out and stirred her coffee before speaking quieter, "I'm up for any form of punishment."

At her words, Sam set down his smoothie and ripped out his earbuds. "Sweetheart, you do not deserve to be punished for being a teen." John shot his youngest son a confused glance, for last night he was up to damage. Sam must've noticed because he spoke again, "I felt different last night but I then realized that you're a teen. Hell, when your dad was your age he was ten times worse!" They all share a small laugh except Dean who rolls his eyes. Sam continues with a softer tone, "I- We all know how hard it's been since the incident... You're only seventeen, baby girl. We are worried about you." When he finished, Dean released a sigh and scooted his chair back so Bailey could sit with him. The girl plopped herself down onto her father's lap and sipped her coffee before setting it down.

Dean wrapped one arm around her waist and began to speak, "Even though we were very upset last night, not for the reason you were there, but the fact that you lied straight to my face. I know how it is baby, you're young. You've never done that before, not that I know of," he muttered the last part soliciting a laugh from Bailey.

"Let me cut this shit short- we are all worried as hell about you baby doll. You're our everything. Our main goal in this short life is to make sure you live it to the fullest. You can't do that if you're dead at the bottom of a ditch." John was straight to the point, and it scared Bailey. She had never seen her pops this serious. The brunette reached her hand out to wrap it around his own.

John squeezed it with a tightlipped smile.

"You should see someone baby girl. I know it will suck at first, but if you won't talk to us or your friends about it, it will never go away. Trust me. It haunts you forever. Please baby, for me?" Dean spoke sadly and watched as his little girl nodded before a tear slipped down her cheek.

The girl continuously nodded, which made her dad wrap his hands around her tighter. He kept mumbling "I love you" into her ear, resulting in her sobbing into her father's shirt.

#dean x daughter!reader #deanwinchesterimagines #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #john winchester #alcohol #supernatural #deanwinchester #supernatural fandom #supernatural fanworks #dean Winchester x female reader

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impala1967dwinchester · 3 years

Text

Dean Winchester: Brandy

*Credit to the gif owner*

Pairing: Dean W. x Fem!Reader

Pov: Deans

Warnings: Drinking, drunk texting, bad dancing, having to rescue Dean, Friends to loversish, Believing in destiny kinda.

Summary: Dean spends the whole night at the bar, tryin' every bottled drink. Ends up drunk texting Y/n and being completely honest with her

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: (Based on the song Wine, Beers, Whiskey by Little Big Town)

Dean Winchester Master List

Main Master List

I sat at the bar of the old bar. It reminded me of Harvelle's. The old smell, the plaid-up men and women that I noticed came walking in through that door.

It was amazing. I was a drinker, always had been. The first drink I had with my dad, I was fifteen. A beer we shared, that should be an amazing moment for father and son, but it was ruined for the simple fact that we had no home, and my father and instructed me to take care of my younger brother.

I grew up, mostly without my father after that. He prioritizes hunting and saving people over me, and over his youngest son. Everything was always secrets. So many secrets, that it's started to become how Sam and I live.

There were certain things that I had learned from my father. How to protect, how to be anger almost all of the time, and how to handle my liquor.

So I sat at the bar, my hand around an iced cold glass of beer. I sipped and watched people. I wasn't in the mood to hook up with any. I mean yeah sure there was probably someone out there that was meant for me, but that's getting into destiny shit.

You know how bars, almost always have music playing. Well being in the good old state of Kansas, so pretty much any place you walk into is playing music more specifically country music.

It started to come through the speakers. I had already been here for what seemed like hours, I had enough beers, that I had switched to drinking something harder.

Something like a whiskey.

"My friend named Jack"

"He's got my back"

"He always seems to know right where I'm at"

Well, this is definitely a song I could get used to listening to. I don't think anybody else was listening. All having their own private conversations. The barmaid was a beautiful young lady, but even still with her crop top of a shirt and the cleavage that was burst out of her shirt.

I wasn't interested in her. Every time she'd come over. "You need anything else sweetheart." Bending halfway down to try and have me look down.

I waved her off. Maybe I should try something else. Waving her back over, I asked "Do you have something stronger?" she looked at me sideways, before saying "If it's something stronger than you want I've got you" and then she walked away.

When she returned with the rest of the bottle of Jose. A half left standing in the clear bottle. "Here's something stronger, forty percent." She said taking my empty beer bottle and empty cup that had been holding the recently downed Jack Daniels.

"My friend Jose"

"He likes to play"

"He's always up for anything I say"

I downed the rest of the bottle, not even needing the new glass she had bought for me to use. Slamming the bottle down on the countertop. She snapped her head around, our eye making contact before she grabbed something off the shelf.

"If that's the type of night you're having you should have said." She said handing me a half empty glass of crown apple. "Thanks, I can handle my liquor so no need to worry about me," I said as she left to take care of other people sitting at the bar.

I sat alone. Like I always have, it was the best way to number one people watch, but it also gave me a reason to think. Nobody trying to pull my belt out of my jean loops. No need to save someone this was my safe haven sometimes.

Alcohol was my safe haven. It's always been that way. It's always been able to understand me ten times more than Sammy. Well I mean there was always Y/n, she lived with us, but she was my friend, my best friends. There is something that she just doesn't need to know.

I took a swig, drinking down most of the bottle.

"Little bit of red, lotta bit of crown"

"Don't matter what it is"

"I'm gonna drink it down, down, down"

Was it just me or was this song getting better by the second. Maybe, It was just me. I looked around me, couples stood dancing to this song, some sat with clasped hands. And the older men sat at the bar, I was an older man sitting at bar watching like a creep.

"The wine, the beer, the whiskey"

"Are the only things that fix me"

"I'm not saying it's a problem"

"I can stop it if I wanna"

"But the wine, the beer, the whiskey"

"They always get me"

Wow, I'm started to get the idea that I can relate to this song. The lyrics are right you know. Liquor is the only thing that can fix me, calms me down and then I sleep it off. It's right the lyrics I can stop if I wanna. But do I really wanna stop?

"Here," The young lady said, handing me a made drink "Here's a gin and tonic." Walking away yet again to take care of other patrons. A gin and tonic, not a drink I was every ballses enough to try.

Taking the little green umbrella out, I took my first sip. "Shit that's actually really good," I said more to myself than anyone else. I looked up from my gin and tonic drink, looking at the glass wall.

It held so many drinks that I hadn't heard of before. Like a new drink called "Screwball", "Kingfisher". Odd brand names but they all looked like awesome drinks. But of course, there was the regular drinks, the brandy, sherry which is a wine, and Jim Beam

"My friend named Gin"

"She's got some friends"

"I'm talking Brandy, Sherry, and their brother Jim"

"Hey, so it sorta looks like we're going along with the song, so I'll grab you a shot of rum, Captain." She said pulling a tiny shot glass out and pulling the bottle off of the shelf.

She slides the small glass across the table, I caught some rum tipping out and falling over my thumb. 'I wonder what Y/n would do if she was here with me? I wonder if I would have her pushed up against the wall, kissing down her neck.'

Shaking my head; stop thinking of her that she... She doesn't think of you in the same way, you are an idiot. Taking my rum-filled shot quickly. I pulled out my phone.

'Don't do what you're about to do'

"I'll be fine," I said to myself. The room was starting to spin. Or maybe I was just spinning. 'Stop thinking about Y/n. She doesn't need to deal with your drunk ass' "Oh come on I'm not that drunk" I was still sitting at the bar, but people were starting to look at me.

>Y/n, you know I've just gotta say. YOu're beautiful.

Dots played at the bottom of my screen.

>Dean that's very nice.

Minutes pass, so I send another message.

>You know I think I'm falling.

Immediate answers came

>Falling?? What do you mean?

>Winchester? Where are you?

She asked, she only ever called me Winchester when she was pissed off, but I was too worried about telling her the truth.

>Y/n, I've spent the past forever fawning over you. I spent it, wanting, yearning for you. I guess after years of wanting you, years after having nobody in my bed. Wishing and hoping that it was you.

>Dean send me your current loca!

>We can talk more tomorrow

I was able to send her my location, she pulled up in a rather crappy car. Walking in distress, her black night shorts, a pair of slippers on, and my red and black plaid shirt on.

She came over, apologizing grabbing my arm, and wrapping it over her head. "Dean, let's go, now," she said dragging me out. "You smell so good Y/n," I said going to pet her hair. She rested me up against the side of the baby.

"Where are your keys, Dean?" She asked her voice starting to become more worrisome. "In my.." I stopped talking and just reached for her hand, shoving it into my jacket pocket. "Right here!" I said I let go of her wrist and she looked up at me.

She got me into the car, somehow. I rested my head against the back of the front seat. "I felt and heard the rumble of baby engine. "Dean, what were you doing?" I looked over at her. "I wanted a drink."

The rest of the drive was quiet, she helped me out of the car after shutting the loud engine off. The sound finally stops bouncing off the cinderblock walls. "Dean. Couch, bed, or table?" She asked.

"Couch, comfier," I said breathing in more of Y/n's scent. I've never been this close to her, for this long. she smelled like a garden of flowers and honey. she smelt of summer. She looked like summer half the time.

"Are you a god?" I blurted out. Her eyebrows creased, licking her lips. "No, Dean I'm not a god," Y/n said reaching around behind the couch and grabbing a blanket but not before untying my boots.

She tossed the blanket over my body and went to walk off. "Y/n?" I asked. "Yes, Dean." She said with a sigh. "Can you get me a water, so I can maybe explain myself?" I asked.

A pleading look on my face, the puppy dog eyes I had learned from Sam. "Fine Winchester, but you've five to explain yourself." She said stomping off into the kitchen, and back with a tall glass of ice water.

She stood next to me. "Can you sit? Please Y/n?" I begged. I sipped on the water, trying to regain any sort of control of myself. She sat crisscrossing her legs. Her exposed legs, my eyes drifted from her legs.

My eyes came back up to hers. "Start explaining Winchester, you've got four minutes." I shook my head, clasping my hands together. I cleared my throat.

"I've sat here for the past few years, wondering why everything seems weird. It's hard. y'know because that song was right in the bar. I don't want to be alone not anymore, I don't wanna watch the couple dances anymore, I wanna be one of the couples, that hold each other hands."

I said, looking at her. She broke our eye contact when she started to fidget with the bottom of my flannel. "You know that's my flannel?" I asked grabbing her hands.

"I want you, I want you in my bed. I want to drink with my girl. I want to love you because Y/n that's really the truth." I said, "I love you Y/n" We sat in silence for a few, "Y/n please say something?" Now I'm begging her, this entire night has been a fucking mess.

"What are you waiting for you dumb Winchester? Come kiss your girl." It only took a few moments for the words to click in my mind. I grabbed the back of her neck and she fell into my lap.

It wasn't like fireworks or lighting coming down. It just fit so well, it was more like finishing a puzzle, puzzle pieces just fitting together so well. A missing part of me found filled and always there for you.

"Dean? Y/n?" I heard Sam said and properly say "Nevermind." And leave. I felt Y/n's lips leave mine. Realizing that I needed air, my lungs burning but in a good way.

"That was something," I said, catching my breath. "That's was awesome!" Y/n said kissing chastely. "Did you hear Sam?" I asked her, she giggled she rolled her. "I bet he's in there going I just knew it," Y/n said. I laughed and hugged.

"My feet hurt, I think I may have blacked out and started dancing by myself," I said, flexing my socked toes. "You dancing!?" Y/n questioned, "Oh we've gotta go back to that bar and get that tape, for FBI reasons." Y/n said.

My mouth gaping open. She laughed more, and she started to have a few tears. "You know Y/n. I'll you back for that, now come on. You'll love the memory foam bed." I said, Whispering closing to Y/n's ear "It remembers you Y/n." My hand landing on her lower as we walked to my room.

Completed on: 05/12/2021

Posted on: 05/14/2021

Dean Winchester Tag List: @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @hit-meup69 @fofisstilinski @doctorlilo @wonderfulworldofwinchester

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bugsy-maria · 3 years

Text

Casifer x Reader

inspired by the song Bruises

I heard the door close with a click, I knew that they would be gone for a bit so I ran to the dungeon. I grabbed the materials that I'd need to summon crowly. I knew something bad would happen. I mean, of course, I would know I watched the show back in my universe. I just needed to protect Cass from making that stupid choice I knew he would make.

I said the spell that Sam taught me a while back. I waited for a bit and Crowley popped up behind me in the library. I looked up and around at him before proceeding.

"I need you to put me in Lucifer's cage," I stated simply keeping a monotone voice and serious face.

"What is it with your bunch and wanting to go in there?!" he exclaimed like his usual self.

"Something bad is going to happen and I need to stop it. so, get me in there."

"Look (Y/N), I love you like one of my own demons but I would not let you in there."

"It would have been easier to just say you hate me," I mumbled under my breath

"You know what I mean. I'm not letting you go down there."

"I wasn't asking, take me there now," I said my voice rising a bit as I knew that every minute we bickered the closer Cass is to say Yes.

"I said no. besides they're out already, there's no one to save." and as his raised voice died down he disappeared.

Black and blue, I'm on the edge Forgave you with your hands around my neck You steal my breath, you throw me away I'm only left with bruises Always played too close to fire I thought I saw the devil in your eyes You pull me down, I can't act surprised I know you're kind, the truth is I sat on one of the chairs in the library waiting anxiously for the arrival of the two brothers and the angel. I heard the click of the door again and shot right out of the chair I had been occupying the past couple of hours. I looked at sam and dean, they were just about the same as when they left. "Cass" followed right behind them.

"How did it go?" I asked, already knowing the answer while hugging them when they got to the bottom of the stairs.

"You already know." sam said with a chuckle. I hug dean but not "Cass". I went back to my seat, not sitting, and patted the table telling them to sit with me.

"I know but it might be nice to hear how it went for you, you know?" I looked at them and noticed that they both shared a glance at one another, thinking it was weird that I didn't hug the angel as they knew I might have most likely a tiny small somewhat big secret noticeable crush on him.

They all soon sat Cass next to Dean, Sam next to my chair.

"I'll go grab some beers, yeah?" they all nodded in response, I left to get the beers from the kitchen. I came back to hear them talking about me acting weird but I just brushed it off and walked in. "Here they are!" I said having two bottles in each hand.

"Oh just what I need," Dean said grabbing his when I placed the bottles down. we spent that night drinking a little and talking about nothing. it was about an hour or two before Dean said he was gonna crash, about 20 minutes later sam said he'd hit the hay. this left me and Cassifer to be alone.

"Why didn't you hug me when I came in?" he said in Cass's voice.

"Oh drop the act I know you're not Castiel," I said, standing up and grabbing the empty brown tinted glass bottles.

"So you know," he said in more of a menacing voice.

"Of course I do."

"And you won't tell." he stands up

"Of course I won't" I turned around and started to walk to the kitchen

"Well, I guess we'll have to keep it that way huh?" I heard his chair squeak on the wood floor.

"They'll find out on their own anyway," I said looking over my shoulder. No chains, no ropes Don't need 'em, I'm not going home Can't be alone You hurt me and I pull you close I woke up sore, everything hurt. the events of last night flashed in my mind when I took in my surroundings. my surroundings being on the floor of my room with books all over the floor. I push myself up painfully and stumble out of my room. I walk to the kitchen with my hand sliding along the walls like normal.

I go into the kitchen to see the two brothers eating eggs toast and dean was eating bacon. they stopped talking about turkey bacon and looked at me. upon seeing me dean shot up along with sam after him.

"What happened to you?" Dean asked, his big hands grabbing my face, turning it to get a better look on all sides.

"I ran into a wall," I said simply while shrugging my shoulders and closing my eyes.

"A wall doesn't leave handprints around someone's neck." sam said with worry laced in his words.

"Well it did," I said as I pushed past dean to grab a plate for myself. I picked up the spatula and scooped some eggs onto my plate.

"Oh are you sure you wanna eat that (Y/n)?" I heard Castiel's voice from behind me. I sighed before thinking about it. maybe the reason they didn't take me with them to get sam out of the cage was that they knew I'd only get in the way. ill need to train and be thinner to save them the next time right?

and with that thought, I scrapped the food off my plate and put it down on the counter. I turned to see both brothers staring at him in shock. I mean it's not their fault. they didn't know that Cass wasn't himself right now.

"I hope you burn in hell." and with that, I walked out. I knew that it wasn't much of an insult to an angel that was imprisoned in a cage with no interaction by his own father, but to the boys thinking that I said it to Cass it was the best one out there. they know that I love the angel to death and wouldn't think twice before jumping in front of an angel blade for him. they would be able to tell that something is wrong I know it.

I can't tell you why When you kill me with a smile I don't wanna lose it Wish I could unchoose it All I have are bruises Let you see inside my mind Got no tears behind my eyes I don't wanna skew it Wish I could undo it All I have are bruises After a while, he stopped hurting me as he found out that I was already putting myself in hell. I could never stay mad at Cass so I've started hugging him and whispering "I'm sorry's" over and over. it's gotten harder and harder to sleep lately. I'm exhausted all the time from not eating and overworking. Black and blue, I still regret Forgive you even when I know what's next But I'm not scared, I'm outta my head Lay down to rest with bruises Cross my heart and hope to die I knew I saw the devil in your eyes If love is hell, I guess I gone blind At least you're mine, the truth is Today was the day, the day no more scars and bruises would be left on my skin. the night that I could go to bed at a normal time with my favorite angel/person in the whole universe.

"(Y/N)?" I heard his voice fly through the hall on the other side of my door. I got up and walked to the door, my hand stretched out in front of me. my hand hovered over the handle, i hesitated while my mind raced with thought about this all being a sick messed up dream. if it was I sure hope it would never end.

my boney digits wrapped around the nob and in a swift motion the door was open. I quickly looked left down the hall then right, where I saw him standing there having me.

"Cass," I sighed and ran over to him, stumbling over my feet before i got to him and quickly tied my arms around him as tight as I possibly could as to make sure he could never leave me. I felt his arms wrap around my now small and thin frame. his warmth covering me like a blanket.

"I'm back." he mumbled into the hair on the top of my head. No chains, no ropes Don't need 'em, I'm not going home Can't be alone You hurt me and I pull you close He pryed me off of him and looked me in the eyes. I didn't look at them before this but now that I had I realised that it wasn't actually him. Cass hadn't come back, it was only Lucifer playing yet another sick game.

"Oh come on that was too easy." his smirk spread on Castiel's face. "I mean one would think that you would have learned by now that Castiel is never coming back home." he lowed his face down to mine, "But that's whats unique about you, you're so so so so stupid." he said shaking my head with his hand.

"No, no Cass is going to come back i know he will." I said with determination in my voice.

"This isn't a TV show!" he shouted then slapped me so hard that I fell, my head hitting the hard wall. Upon hearing the noise sam and dean ran into the other side of the hall. their knifes out, I heard dean say something before running up to him and sam running up to me. i saw dean get stabbed with his own knife. sam tried to pick me up and take me away but was killed. I was too sund by the scene to make a noise.

"There now it's just us." he wiped his hands of the trousers he wore. "Its stupid you know." he looked at me and kneeled down to almost my level. "Its stupid that you would eve think Castiel even thinks of you like someone important to him. he doesn't even see you as a friend you know." and there was that smirk again. I can't tell you why When you kill me with a smile I don't wanna lose it Wish I could unchoose it All I have are bruises Let you see inside my mind Got no tears behind my eyes I don't wanna skew it Wish I could undo it All I have are bruises

I woke up in a cold sweat, I've had the same nightmare for months, ever since Cass came back but I never asked him to be around me when i slept because everything that Lucifer said gets to me. I know he doesn't see me as important or even like a friend.

I sat on my bed remembering the bleeding bodies of Sam and Dean and the shit-eating-grin on castiel's face that was put there by the devil himself. after about 30 minutes of sitting there I finally got the gutts to get up and ask Cass to help me sleep. he doesn't sleep but it has always helped me sleep with him and I cuddling.

my bare feet touched the cold floor and the light patter of them could be heard from the occupants of the rooms I was walking by. i made it to cass' room where he didn't do much, mostly just reading. i knocked on the door then heard a couple steps from inside the room. the door opened and there stood Cass in all of his glory. the real one.

"(Y/N)? what are you doing up?" HIS voice asked.

"I had a nightmare." i said looking at HIS eyes, making sure there was no sign of Lucifer.

"Oh, come in." he stepped aside letting me walk in, softly closing the door behind me. I fell onto his bed, the meletonion in my body kicking me, and boy did it kick hard. I felt the side of the bed next to me dip. "What was it about?"

"It was the night you came back but it wasn't you it was still Lucifer and he killed Dean and Sam." I said leaving out the part about what he had said. I felt his arm drape around my waist and the other one go underneath me to hug me tight and close to his chest. I felt the blanket cover him and me.

"Oh Angel, you have nothing to worry about. it's always going to be me from now on." HE whispered kissing the top of my head. an action he did quite often but everytime he did it I got butterflies.

"Good night Bee."

"Good night Angel, i love you."

"I love you too." I said with a smile spread so far on my face it covered half of my face.

I can't tell you why I'd let you kill me with a smile I don't wanna lose it Wish I could unchoose it All I have are bruises Wish you saw inside my mind I got no tears behind my eyes I don't wanna skew it Wish I could undo it All I have are bruises

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carryonmywaywardcaptain · 3 years

Text

Miles of Memories- 1

We’ve Got Tonight- Bob Seger

Miles of Memories Masterlist CarryOnCap’s Masterlist

Dean x reader Best Friends to Lovers AU

Summary: Feeling anxious about heading off to college, you make the most of your last night in town with the help of your best friend, Dean.

Warnings: fluffy, adorable Dean and fun banter. Slight angst (goodbyes are hard). Minor mentions of childhood trauma

WC: 2,900

A/N: This part is like a “prelude” to give you a glimpse of Y/N and Dean’s relationship (5 years before the main storyline). I hope you stay tuned for the slowest of Dean x fem!reader slowburns. I’m so excited to share this story, so please let me know what you think! MASSIVE thanks to my spectacular and badass beta crew—@christopher-evxns @deanwinchesterswitch @ezilyamuzed & @wonder-cole—for all of their help and input!! I edited even after their feedback, so all mistakes are my own. Credit to Bob Seger for the song :)

Zipping your suitcase closed with a heavy sigh, you worked through your mental checklist for the hundredth time to make sure you hadn’t forgotten to pack anything.

“Jeez, you act like it’s the last time you’ll ever see this place or something.” With a smile and a roll of your eyes, you turned to see Dean leaning casually against your doorframe. “Y’know, I figured I’d talk to Bobby about renting this space out anyway. Save you the stress of missing it while you’re gone because it’ll look completely different the next time you come back.”

“I’m not too worried. I think you’re the last person Bobby would trust with anything—let alone a space in his house.”

Dean grinned, pushing off the doorframe to mosey into your room. “See, normally I’d agree with you. But it just so happens that he gave me my very own key to the garage, so I think he’s coming around. This ready?” He pointed at the suitcase on your bed, and you nodded.

“Riiight. I’m supposed to believe that Bobby would actually give you a key to come and go at the shop anytime you want.”

Dean shrugged, spinning on his heel with your bag in hand. “Guess he’s looking for a new favorite since you’re skipping town to go be successful out in the real world.”

You snorted and shook your head, silently following him to the door. He stepped out of the way, placing his free hand on the doorknob as you scanned the bedroom one last time. Gnawing your bottom lip, you sucked in a deep breath and tried to alleviate some of the tightness in your chest.

This room had been a safe haven for most of your life, and it was hard to remember the days before you called it “home.” Your mother had passed away when you were a toddler, and your father was a drunk, in and out of jail and your life until one day he didn’t come back. Bobby had often been the one who took care of you when your father needed to pass you off onto someone else.

You didn’t remember much about the “Travelin’ Man” (as Bobby not-so-lovingly referred to him on the rare occasions he was mentioned), but you could easily recall the night Bobby told you this would be your room for good. The relief and excitement you’d felt upon learning you’d have a space of your own were still vivid. Knowing you had a place you could always return to provided a sense of stability and consistency you’d never known.

Bobby may not have been your father by blood, but he was your dad in every sense of the word. Sure, he was a little rough around the edges and tended to be a hermit, but he also had a heart of gold, and not once had he ever made you question whether he cared about you.

A few weeks after settling into your new home, you had met Jessica and Sam during recess at your new elementary school. Although they were a grade younger, you’d instantly hit it off with them. Jess and Sam had always been there for you over the years, too, willing to lend an ear or make time for movie nights and spontaneous trips to the diner. Eventually, Sam had introduced you to Dean, and the two of you had been inseparable ever since. Each and every memory you had growing up involved at least one (if not all three) of them. But while it was difficult saying goodbye to everyone in general...you still hadn’t been able to grasp the idea of saying goodbye to Dean.

Dean was the one who had been by your side through everything. From heartfelt life chats and your deepest moments of self-doubt to car ride sing-alongs and your loudest belly laughs. He was always there to comfort you, remind you not to take things so seriously, and even drag you into trouble once in a while.

The thought of leaving him and your safe, familiar home brought yet another wave of apprehension and doubt. What if you were making a huge mistake?

“Y/N...” Dean’s gentle voice coaxed you back to reality. “We’ve still got a lot to pack into our night, so don’t go checking out on me yet.”

Without looking back, you slipped past Dean and heard him shut the door as you made your way downstairs.

“You know, this wouldn’t be so hard if you would’ve just applied like I told you to. Then we could both be going off to college together, and you’d find out what an honor it would be to have me as a roomie.”

“Okay, well, let me remind you that you’re the one who decided to go ‘see what’s out there’ and get a fancy college degree under her belt. And, even if we did survive being roommates without making the other want to pull their hair out, there’s no way in hell that town would be able to handle both of us.”

“That’s fair.”

“Besides, I won’t have much of a chance to miss you. You’ll probably flunk out and be back here by the end of the semester anyway.”

“Also fair,” you laughed. “Taking a year off to work at The Roadhouse and pretend to get my life together seemed like a good idea at the time, but I’m a little worried about getting into the groove of studying and all that crap again.”

“You know, if you need help, all you gotta do is pick up the phone. I mean, Sammy’s a real bookworm, and he’s only a phone call away.” Dean winked as he held the front door open and motioned for you to lead the way.

Sticking your tongue in your cheek, you fought to hide your amusement at the way he threw his brother under the bus. Before you made it through the door, you whirled around toward the stairs again. “Dang it. I forgot my bathroom bag. Do you mind tossing that one in the car? I’ll be right back!”

“Another bag? Where are you gonna put all this crap?” he muttered.

After retrieving the pouch from the bathroom upstairs and making sure you hadn’t left any necessary items in the drawers and cabinets, you hurried outside to find Dean patiently waiting beside your car. You tossed the small bag and he caught it with ease, pitching it in the backseat before closing the door.

“And done. Any last-minute stops to make along the way?” he asked.

“Nope. I caught Ellen, Jo, and Jody at the end of my shift yesterday, and Charlie was over for a bit this morning. And, you know, Sam and Jess ditched us for California last weekend. That means you and Bobby are the only two left to put up with me until I leave in the morning.”

When your voice cracked unexpectedly, you cleared your throat and surveyed the scrapyard until the faint prick in the corners of your eyes faded. As your departure drew near and you considered everything you were leaving behind, venturing out into the world was quickly beginning to feel more daunting than exciting.

“Hey…” Dean gripped the tops of your arms, stirring you from your thoughts. “We’ve got tonight. Who needs tomorrow? We’ve got tonight...babe. Why don’t you staaaaaaaayy—”

You had thought he was going to say something sweet and comforting, but you playfully shoved him in the chest when you realized he was speaking in Bob Seger lyrics. He stumbled back a step, laughing as he walked around the front of the impala and climbed inside.

***

There was an old park on the outskirts of town where Bobby and John would occasionally drop you both off when they had errands to run. As the years passed, you began riding your bikes the few miles across town, taking turns balancing Sam on your handlebars until Dean was old enough to drive. Eventually, Sam stopped tagging along, but somewhere along the way the park became a place you and Dean cherished.

A large pond stretched across most of the area, and there was a stately willow tree near the water’s edge that served as your designated “spot.” It was a hideaway often overlooked by others, but it was the perfect escape when the two of you needed a place that was all your own.

“Alright.” Dean plopped down beside you on the blanket. “You’ve got your grub, an amazing view, and the best company you could ever ask for. What else could you possibly want?”

“You’re right. Baby’s good company and all, but she’s not much of a conversationalist.”

Dean grimaced. “Just for that, I might eat your food.”

“Depending on what it is, I might let you.”

He smirked and unrolled the brown paper sack in his hand. “PB&J’s, just like Mom used to make! I asked if she could whip up a few before she flew out to make sure Sam got all settled at Stanford. She said to tell you she’s sorry she couldn’t catch you and to wish you good luck. This seemed like a, uh, better idea at the time...now that it’s been a couple of days, these might taste like shit.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you took the sandwich Dean offered. “We’ve probably eaten worse, but I appreciate the sentimental twist. Seeing as how you’re in your 20’s and you had your mom make us sandwiches.”

“Hey, I was going for authenticity! Trying to help you feel like a kid again before you start adulting or whatever and—you know what? Just shut up and eat your food.”

The two of you unwrapped your sandwiches and continued bantering back and forth between bites. Even though the bread was soggy from marinating in jelly for a few days, and it certainly wasn’t the best thing you’d ever eaten, it brought back a flood of nostalgia.

When a comfortable silence fell over the two of you, your thoughts began to drift to dozens of adventures you and Dean had had here. You gazed out over the water, watching the willow branches graze the surface as they gently swayed in the breeze. You tried to commit every detail to memory as you soaked in the peaceful atmosphere, not knowing how long it would be until you returned.

After a while, Dean chuckled under his breath, and you looked at him curiously.

“You remember that day we were pretending to be pirates, and Dad ended up coming to pick us up early?”

“Of course.”

“Man, he was so pissed when he saw us standing on top of that picnic table we managed to drag out and ‘sail’ into the middle of the pond. Sure made an awesome ship, though.”

You smiled at the memory, though it was anything but funny at the time. “I think he was a little more pissed at the fact that we left Sam playing alone in the gazebo. And obviously what made the ‘ship’ great was the pirate flag I made.”

“Uh-huh,” Dean snorted. “You mean the crappy skull you drew on our lunch bag and stuck on the end of a stick? Pretty sure we were having a blast with the ship because it was my brilliant idea in the first place.”

“I was like 8, and it was still better than anything you could’ve drawn.” You crumpled up your trash and threw it at him. “And I was having fun--right up until you pushed me off anyway. I nearly choked to death on all that nasty water I sucked in.”

“Okay, well, you shouldn’t have been trying to be Captain when I’m the oldest, and it was clearly my title to begin with. There was no plank to walk, but obviously, you had to go overboard.”

He grinned, keeping his gaze fixed on the water. As you studied his face and noticed the faraway look in his eye, his smile faded. You figured his thoughts had drifted back to his dad, who had passed away a couple of years later.

“I felt so damn bad, though. I really was afraid you were gonna drown. And Bobby was ready to kill me when he found out.”

“Lucky for you, you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

The two of you joked and reminisced for several more hours, eventually watching the sun set over the water until it sank below the horizon. When it was time to head back to Bobby’s, Dean took the long way home so you could crank the radio and sing along with your hand hanging lazily out the open window. Back at the house, you sat on the kitchen counter and talked with both men until Bobby finally bid you goodnight--but you still weren’t ready to call it a night, knowing morning would come soon and it would be time for you to leave.

After convincing Dean to stay a little longer, you grabbed a couple of old blankets and spread them in the bed of one of the pickup trucks near the house. With your head on his chest and your body tucked comfortably against his side, you chatted beneath the stars until you drifted off to sleep.

***

“Got everything all packed up?” Bobby asked.

“I think so,” you answered.

“Better double-check because I’m not driving a few hours just to bring you a lost shoe or something.”

“Is that a challenge?” you teased, seeing right through his gruff quip. “Because I bet I could talk you into it. We both know you’re not gonna know what to do without me.”

He frowned a little before smiling fondly, and you could’ve sworn there was a misty glaze in his eyes.

“Yeah. I s’pose you’re right.”

“Oh, don’t get all sentimental on me now. You could probably use a little break. Besides, I’ll be back so often you’ll just get sick of me all over again.”

“C’mere, kid.”

Bobby reached out and pulled you into a hug. Much too soon, he let go and stepped aside so you could say goodbye to Dean. His soft green eyes had been fixed on you, but he glanced away and clenched his jaw when you took a step toward him.

“So, uh...don’t forget about us when you make it big out there in the real world—catch a break as an artist or an author or some music critic.”

“Yeah, okay,” you scoffed. “I haven’t even picked out a major yet, but I think I have an advisor who can help me figure out a good fit...eventually. Maybe I’ll be a doctor—or follow in Sam’s footsteps and be a lawyer!”

“There you go. Why not just do it all while you’re at it? Jack of all trades, master of none. Whatever you end up doing, you better come back to visit soon.”

“You got it. Try not to turn into a grumpy old man while I’m gone.”

He shook his head, cracking a smile as he met your eyes. “Only a couple years older than you, brat. Anyway, I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night, so I made you a playlist for the drive. Figured I might as well do something useful while I was awake. I sent it to you while you were getting ready.”

Pulling out your phone, you found a message already waiting with a link to the playlist.

“This is awesome, Dean, thank you. But if it ends up being six hours of nothing but Zeppelin, I’m gonna be pissed.”

He tossed his head back and laughed, making the knot in your throat grow once again at the thought of not seeing him almost every day. You couldn’t help but wonder if he’d miss you as much as you were going to miss him.

“Don’t worry; I think it ended up being a decent mix. Not too many classics and not too much of the more modern crap. There was, uh... a certain thought process behind each song, let’s just say that.”

“We all know some of that modern crap is a guilty pleasure of yours. I mean, Taylor Swift?”

“Yeah…” His gaze lingered until his grin faded to a sad smile. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Pressing your lips into a thin line, you leaned forward and threw an arm around each man. Squeezing your eyes closed, you hugged them tight.

“All joking aside...you got nothing to worry about. You’re gonna kick this college thing in the ass,” Dean murmured.

“Thank you.”

Clearing your throat, you slipped out of their embrace and quickly made your way to the car.

“Drive safe--and call when you get there!” Bobby hollered.

Stealing one last glimpse over your shoulder, you waved and slid behind the wheel. You hit shuffle on the playlist, letting the music fill the vehicle while you fasten your seatbelt.

I know it’s late

I know you’re weary

I know your plans don’t include me...

You shook your head and smiled, blinking back tears at the irony of the song—the lyrics perfectly encapsulating your night with Dean.

Look at the stars so far away

We’ve got tonight

Who needs tomorrow?

We’ve got tonight, babe

Why don’t you stay?

As you started the car and drove away, seeing him and Bobby grow smaller in the rearview mirror, you finally began to cry.

Part 2

CarryOnCap Crew (Forevers):

@abswritesfandoms @amanda-teaches @cosicas-cuquis @crist1216 @droidyouseek @emoryhemsworth @ericaprice2008 @flawless-disaster @janeyboo @jenn0755 @ksgeekgirl @maresmiley @memyselfandmaddox @notyourtypicalrose @randomparanoid @rynabarnesrogers @sandlee44 @scarletsoldierrr @shann-the-artist-moon @sheerioasteroidpanda @shynara51 @someday-when-you-leave-me @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @thisismysecrethappyplace @torntaltos @waywardbaby @waywardrose13 @weebid @whimsicalrobots @wintersoldierbaby @yesfanficsaremylife

Cap’s SPN Crew:

@adoptdontshoppets @akshi8278 @alexwinchester23 @chevyharvelle @deangirl7695 @dean-winchesters-bacon @fandomoniumflurry @pisces-cutie @supernaturalenchanted @superromijn @thoughts-and-funnies @waywardnerd67 @x-waywardaf-x

Miles of Mems Tags:

@bobbie3939 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @mlovesstories @onethirstyunicorn @peridottea91 @valsworldofcreativity

Also tagging those of you who seemed interested when I posted the masterlist. I don’t want to pester you, so I probably won’t tag you in future parts unless you let me know that you’d like to be tagged!

@badlittlehabit99 @cajunquandary @devvoon @flamencodiva @hybrid-in-the-making @impalackless @janicho88 @themoonblooms

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maxineswritingcenter · 3 years

Text

Bragger - Dean x fem!reader part 2

Suggested by @rileynicole1967 based on the song Bragger by Kelsea Ballerini.

(Y/N) stared the vampires down, wishing that she had at least some sort of weapon on her.

“Stay behind me.” She told her parents, trying to keep an eye on all three of them.

“Listen here, you buncha hooligans” Her dad, pulled her behind him as she protested, “I don’t know who you vampire wannabes think you are but you need to get out of my house.” Dad’s big head was going to get them all killed.

“Don’t be the hero, old man.” The one in the middle looked around him to (Y/N).

“So, where is Dean Winchester?” He asked, “We got a couple questions for him.” Dad looked back at her, hands on his hips.

“They’re here because of him? He just keeps getting better and better.” He complained.

“(Y/D/N)!” Her mother glared.

“What? Are you trying to defend him?” He asked. The lead Vampire and (Y/N) made eye contact. He raised his eyebrows are her as if he were asking if they were really like this. She nodded, shrugging her shoulder. The vampire let out a deep breath. He reached forward, grabbing her father by the neck and lifting him in the air. (Y/N) and her mother reached out but were stopped by the henchmen.

“Old man, I think it’s about time you stopped talking. Man alive, if my daddy was anything like you I woulda killed him faster.” Her father’s eyes widened, swinging his feet back and forth.

“Put him down, it’s me you want, I can get Dean here.” She pleaded.

“Oh I know you can, sweet thing. I’m just wanting a quick bite.” His sharp teeth came down from his gums. Dad’s eyes widened even more.

“Then wait until you get Dean.” (Y/N) reasoned, “You capture Dean and eat them as a reward.” The vampire thought a moment then nodded, setting Dad back down on his feet.

“You make a good point. Why don’t you give him a call?” He tossed me my parents landline.

Dean his just been mindlessly driving around the small town, watching the locals go in and out of shops and restaurants. This didn’t seem like a bad place to grow up. Didn’t seem like a bad place to live. He wondered if (Y/N) ever wanted to come back here.

His thoughts were broken from his phone ringing, from a number he didn’t recognize. But this was the phone designated for hunters so it was someone he knew.

He hit answer, pressing the phone to his ear, “You got Dean Winchester.”

“Dean, it’s me.” (Y/N)’s voice crackled over the phone.

“Hey, look, I’m sorry-”

“Oh it’s fine. Don’t worry about the vase. Accidents happen.” He quickly glanced at the phone.

“What?”

“I know that you accidently knocked over my grandparents urn, but all has been forgiven.” Grandparents urn had been their code for vampires.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, starting to turn his car around.

“Oh and before I forget mom and I are gonna start making your favorite - red velvet cake.” She said gleefully. That was bad. Red velvet cake was code for hostage situation, need back up now.

“I’m on my way.” He gripped onto the steering wheel, hanging up the phone.

(Y/N) set the phone down and sighed, “He’s on his way.”

“Excellent.” The vampire reached out, holding onto her chin. His hands were ice cold, cold as death.

“I may just turn you. You seem to understand when you’ve been beat.”

“You get your dirty hands offa her!” Her mother shouted, struggling against the restraints they had been put in. While on the phone, her parents had been strapped to chairs from the dining room table.

“Lady,” The vampire pulled his hands away, “I really don’t like hearing lip from a lush.” Her mother gasped.

“You can’t talk to her like that-” Before her dad could continue, they were both gagged by the henchmen.

“Now...” The leader turned back to (Y/N), “Why don’t you let us have a taste, huh?” The vampire grinned, stalking forward. (Y/N) stepped back. He laughed.

“Aww sweetheart, don’t play coy.” He nodded for his other henchmen to move forward. The lacky came forward, grinning. As she backed away, her hand brushed the side of her bag. She stopped, subtly grabbing the syringe of dead man’s blood she kept there. When he got close enough, she popped the top and slammed the needle into his neck. He cried out and back away, stumbling back into the wall, holding his neck. He slide down the wall. The other lacky came around.

“Hey!” The henchman kneeled down and looked over his partner, “Deadman’s blood.” He stood up, stomping towards (Y/N), “YOU BITCH!” He stopped mid step, eyes wide. In front of the eyes of her parents and the lead vampire, the henchman’s head slid off and landed on the floor with a sickening thud. His body followed. In his place stood Dean with a machete.

“I told you those syringes work.” He grinned.

“Is now the right time for you to tell me ‘I told you so’?” She said in an exasperated voice.

Dean looked from her to the two vampires still alive, and the lead vampire looked pissed, “Right.”

The lead vampire growled, rushing Dean. Dean swung.

Dad and Dean drove the pickup truck to the dump with a trap covering the back end. Mom and (Y/N) followed in the Impala. Mom was fiddling with her fingers, very clearly having things on her mind.

“He’s not a fireman, is he?” She asked.

“(Y/N) shook her head, “Nope.”

“And he isn’t volunteering at a youth shelter?”

“Nope.”

“And you’re not a lawyer are you? You do what he does, kill monsters.”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, “Yeah.”

“Sweetheart, why didn’t you tell us-”

“Would you have approved?” She cut off her mom, “What was I supposed to tell you? That I dropped out of school and started hunting monsters? You would have had me committed.” When they made it to the dump, Dean and Dad had parked and opened the back of the truck. They were grapping the garbage bags of bodies and started a pile. Mom went to open the door of the impala.

“I wouldn’t, the smell is the worst.” At her words, mom took her hand off the handle.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Mom asked.

Dean and (Y/N) father loaded the last of the vampires bodies off the truck and into the pile. Out from his jacket pocket, Dean brought out a flask of lighter fluid and a book of matches.

“So, what if the cops find this?” (Y/F/N) asked.

Dean shook his head, “These bastards burn to dust. All they’re gonna find is burnt plastic.” He dumped the lighter fluid on the pile, then lit the matches, tossing the book on the pile that went up in flames. They both stared in the flames in silence.

“You married my daughter?” Her father asked. She must have told him when he left.

“I did.”

“Where’s her ring?”

Dean ran his thumb over his ring ring finger where his mother’s ring had been, “I proposed to her my mother’s. She wore it around her neck today so you didn’t see it and get upset that you weren’t invited.”

“Well, I am upset.”

“Sir, with all due respect and believe me I’m trying to even give you the respect that (Y/N) would want me to, I wanted to invite you, my brother did as well. But she didn’t. She didn’t want to continue to bring you into this lie, bring you closer to her so that you would be in danger.”

“She’s in danger being around you.” He sneered.

Dean glared, “Don’t you think I told her that?” That seemed to surprise him, “I told her that I wasn’t safe, that what I do wasn’t safe for her. I love your daughter, it killed me to push her away.” Dean looked back at the flames, “But she’s stubborn. Must get that from you.”

(Y/F/N) smiled a little, “Yeah, she’s a rock, ain’t she?” He shoved his hands in his pockets, “Alright, I’ll allow this... But, you guys gotta visit once a year. At least.”

“You gonna keep giving me crap?” Dean asked, looking at her father’s out of the corner of his eye. Her father thought a moment, sticking out his bottom lip.

“I’ll keep it to myself.”

Dean hummed, “Deal.” They shook hands.

“Bye, sweetie.” Mom grinned, hugging her. She was dressed head to toe in cleaning gear to start cleaning up the blood.

“Mom, I said I would help.” (Y/N) started.

“No, no, you need to get on the road. That’s a long drive back to Kansas.” (Y/N) hugged her dad. He pulled away, holding her cheeks in his hands.

“Now there’s my happy little girl.” He smiled. (Y/N) tightened her lips, tears in her eyes.

“Dad, come on.”

“Hey, hey, no tears, Mrs. Winchester.” Dean, who managed to get out of her mother’s arms and came over, shaking her father’s hand.

“I’ll call when we get home.” (Y/N) said as Dean walked her to the car.

After a few hours on the road, (Y/N) started feeding Dean cookies to help him stay awake on the road.

“These are so good.” He hummed around a bite. She giggled and fed him another cookie, he nipped at her fingers. She laughed, taking the cookie and biting it. With one hand on the wheel, the other hand taking hers, looking over her her left hand where her wedding ring was.

“I hated that you didn’t have this on all day.” He said softly.

“I know, Dean-Bean, but I was just afraid of what they would say.”

Dean chuckled, “I understand why. Your dad is so intense.”

“I know I’m sorry. But at least we don’t have to lie anymore.” She sighed, resting her head on the window.

Dean looked over, then back at the road, “Well, we die lie about one thing.” He poked her stomach.

----------------

Thank you everyone for reading, I’m sorry part two took so long. I just got caught up in another fic.

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#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #supernatural fic #maxineswritingcenter

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norestwithoutlove · 3 years

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Hi, I just finished reading to build a home (quite literally just then) and it was one of the best stories I’ve ever read. everything was so cohesive and beautifully done and has inspired me to do some writing of my own. How did you manage to keep track of minor details and plots throughout the book continuity wise, with such a large word count, thats something most authours cant do and it made it feel so much more personal and immersive. this fic was a wild ride, sorry if this sounds weird btw i dont usually do this.

Hey !! sorry this one took me a while to reply to ! thanks so much for this message it made me beam - i’m glad the fic made you want to use your own voice as well! writing is such a balm especially in times like these, so i hope you’re loving it.

holy shit i’ve just gone over this and this is a LONG answer so i’m very sorry for the essay in advance. regarding continuity and minor details:

from like very early days (essentially day one of writing) i had a very clear vision of where i wanted the fic to go, and what the major plot points were (the night of the fight aged 18 and everything which caused it, even that it would take place on the roof, sam’s overdose happening in the middle of dean’s drunk love confession, the chapter 59 love confession which leads to them FINALLY getting together happening in front of the fire and cas giving dean his poetry book, the dedication saying ‘to dean, i still do, and always will’. all of that was just sitting rotting all other thoughts in my mind and so i had to type it all out at the bottom of the word document to get it down and make sure i didn’t forget. here’s an excerpt of that very early days plan (the scene where dean comes out to sam in the hospital!!! one of my absolute favourites):

other things came later, like the wedding + concussion scene, and the scene where dean waits out in the treehouse all night, which honestly was SO cruel of me and really added to the tragedy of the chapter 38, 40, 42 arc. but yeah as with the above they sat in my brain just waiting for me to reach the appropriate part of the fic to type them up from VERY early days of the fic. opinions on this vary but i don’t like typing out the scenes that i really want to type out if i haven’t actually reached them in the fic’s construction, (does that make sense? i’ve phrased it badly) because knowing i’m gonna get to write those scenes is what motivates me to actually write the scenes inbetween. i should probably switch this up a bit as everyone advises against this form of writing but also yeah changing routine is effort.

other things plotted in the fic came about in light of the events of the show. mary wasn’t originally gonna be such a distant mother but, as spn pushed that narrative of distance and withdrawal, i thought it would be weird for readers to read a fic which pushed the deified mary mother figure like early seasons spn. especially weird for the readers to read a deified mary fic when the mary they were watching on screen seemed to differ so drastically from the one in the story. so the mary-dean relationship (which was fortunately pretty ambiguous and stilted because of dean’s grief-brain in early chapters) had to change in tbah into the really complicated entity it became. honestly the formulation of that relationship is one of the things i was most proud of in the fic because it was so thorny and hard and felt tragically real for that reason.

other things the progression of the show impacted: dean’s relationship with jack. obviously he couldnt be a nephilim in the tbah universe(!) so i had to consider another angle which would stilt his relationship with dean in the fic. considering the fact that in the show dean’s aversion to him came from a knot of grief, anger and dean’s own upbringing, i transplanted that idea onto the fic and said okay, but here it’s not about cas, it’s about john. dean untangles much of his own trauma with john through his relationship with jack in the symbols of his father he can find in his life: driving, fishing, and building. but also in the symbols of jimmy: cooking, talking, teaching. dean gets to choose between being a john or a jimmy to his son, but the question isn’t so simple, because people aren’t just symbols, and actually dean ends up being a dean to jack, which is perfect.

weirdly, i also think music helped with continuity. i had a few songs in my head at the beginning of the fic and they became like thematic seeds which could grow and make threads to be picked up throughout. i’d listen to these as i wrote, especially as i wrote the scenes i deemed the most significant. same thing with literature.

also thinking about the fic just became really comforting to me ! so i’d play major plot points in my head like a movie before i went to sleep, which meant by the time i got to writing them they’d had a lot of time to develop and pick up earlier themes of the fic. essentially all of the fic was written in light of the future of the fic, which really helped continuity and direction but also the weird tangled traumatised nature of time in the story. this figuring of time became really important because i think tangled traumatised time is essentially just the reality of grief-time.

subconsciously i’m sure a lot of stuff bled through which was unintentional, the framing of events which repeat location (dean waiting in the treehouse all night as a teenager to say goodbye to cas before he leaves for university vs dean and cas going to the treehouse as adults and finding teens there who are saying goodbye to each other before leaving for university. confession 3 takes place a literal 10 years after confession 1. confession 1 comes from cas and happens on the roof just before he leaves for the uk, confession 2 comes from dean and happens drunken in the living room after dean has had an intense and ambiguous conversation/fight with his mother, confession 3 happens in the living room after dean has come out to his mother, confession 4 happens on the roof as castiel returns from the uk and repairing every sense of the rift confession 1 caused because this last confession ends in their engagement.)

once i realised this was happening i went back and combed through those scenes for lines to be repeated. an easy example of this is chapter 38//chapter 59. here’s a scene from chapter 38 as they enter the big white house:

and here’s them entering the house in chapter 59:

i think it’s about trauma and repetition (freud has a theory about this, see Remembering, Repeating, and Working Through) in that we return to sites of trauma; trauma is reiterated in memory and in the material, but in every reiteration, we grow and heal and understand the trauma and ourselves better. it’s like an upward spiral: the first confession goes so badly, the second goes better but not good, the third good, the fourth goes wonderfully (dean’s narrative frames it as paradise: “maybe this is the sound of the trumpets on the other side”). so yeah, part of the ‘continuity’ of tbah is just a traumatised cycle of reiteration, and i say this in the nicest possible way, because these cycles of repetition are how we heal. deep down, i think that’s what the fic is all about.

tl;dr: i had a scrawl of a plan at the bottom of the word document i wrote tbah on, i thought about it a lot because it made me happy, i had a pretty clear vision of where things were going from the very opening chapter, and i was a very gay english lit student.

anyway thanks for the ask lovely i am SO sorry it resulted in the borderline novel of an answer.

#anon #answered #LONG post sorry #to build a home #tbah #deancas

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theweirdymcweirderson · 3 years

Text

Animals - Dean Winchester

Author: theweirdymcweirderson

Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Impala

Relationships: Dean Winchester×Reader

Word count: 1537 (lyrics included)

Warnings: 18+ only. All this is very lightly described, but still, I’m adding it. Smut, Dirty Talk, Kissing, Hair Pulling, Biting, Language, Pet Names, Teasing, Oral (male receiving).

Prompt:

Notes: I’m trying to get back to writing and I’’m having major blocks, so please be nice. 😘😘 Enjoy.

I, I'm driving black on black Just got my license back I got this feeling in my veins this train is coming off the track I'll ask polite if the devil needs a ride Because the angel on my right ain't hanging out with me tonight I'm driving past your house while you were sneaking out I got the car door opened up so you can jump in on the run Your mom don't know that you were missing She'd be pissed if she could see the parts of you That I've been kissing Screamin'

Dean’s just left the motel after another fight with Sam. Spending the morning at the police station hadn’t been fun, but he’s used to it by now. Metallica is playing and he’s mouthing the words he knows by heart as he drives to her place. They’re bad for each other, they know that. And still, every time he’s in town, he calls and she answers.

She’s standing by the side of the road, making sure she’s out of the window’s range. Her parents would kill her if they knew she is still hanging out with John Winchester’s kid.

Dean spots her easily enough, rolls to a stop in front of the sidewalk and leans over the seat to open the door for her. She awakens the gentleman in him.

“Did ya miss me, sweetheart?”

A grin stretches across her mouth as she slips in Baby. She grabs his face, fingers gently sinking in the sides of his face and pulls him in for a kiss.

“Not as much as you’ve missed me, Dean-o.”

There’s some scruff littering his cheeks, she takes the time to caress them a couple of times; she likes it, it looks good on him.

“Let’s roll, shall we?”

No, we're never gonna quit Ain't nothing wrong with it Just acting like we're animals No, no matter where we go 'Cause everybody knows We're just a couple of animals

So come on baby, get in Get in, just get in Check out the trouble we're in

They’re in a club and it’s packed. Booze flowing copiously and hands wandering freely; Dean’s arm is around her waist as she sways to the beat of the song.

“C’mon, let’s dance, babe.”

She spins around, her fingers dance across his forearm to reach his hand and she tries to pull him off the seat. She fails, as always. Dean Winchester doesn’t dance, and if he did, it wouldn’t be to that song blasting through the speakers.

“Yeah, not happening, sweetheart.”

Her eyes look darker as she steps closer to him, places herself between his parted thighs and pleadingly whispers a breathy ‘please’ in his ear. He doesn’t budge.

She shrugs her shoulders and grabs his chin between her thumb and forefinger. There’s a mischievous smirk playing on her lips when she pulls back, a complete opposite to the sweet peck she’s just planted on the corner of his mouth.

They’re not together, never been. Not officially. He still grows possessive whenever someone tries something with her, and she gets insanely jealous of everyone that flirts with him. It’s toxic. They know, and yet they don’t care.

As he watches her walk to the dance floor, he already knows someone is going to end up with a broken nose and he’s going to end up with bloody fists by the end of the night. She licks her lips and her arms rise up; she has the audacity of sending him a cheeky wink and a wave before she turns around and weaves her body through the throng of people.

You're beside me on the seat Got your hand between my knees And you control how fast we go by just how hard you wanna squeeze It's hard to steer when you're breathing in my ear But I got both hands on the wheel while you got both hands on my gears By now, no doubt that we were heading south I guess nobody ever taught her not to speak with a full mouth 'Cause this was it, like flicking on a switch It felt so good I almost drove into the ditch I'm screamin'

Adrenaline is pumping through their veins; they’re scrambling to leave before the cops show up.

The Impala purrs to life as they make a hasty escape; she slides across the seat and presses her front to his side. She’s warm and Dean can’t stop himself from looking down to where her hands are slowly creeping up his leg.

“Find some place to park. Don’t think I can wait much longer.”

Her hand is now on his bulge, pressing and palming as she breathes the words; her breath fanning across his neck and sending shivers down his spine.

“I’m trying to think. You’re making t-things harder.”

“I can tell. You really did miss me, huh?”

Dean curses under his breath and he feels the smile on her lips when they press to his neck; his eyes are focused on the road and he tries with all his might to keep them there while she unbuttons his jeans and rolls down the zipper. They pass the mall’s parking lot, and right as he’s about to make a detour, she moves downs.

“Fucking hell, warn a guy, would ya?”

No, we're never gonna quit Ain't nothing wrong with it Just acting like we're animals No, no matter where we go 'Cause everybody knows We're just a couple of animals

So come on baby, get in Get in, just get in Look at the trouble we're in

She laughs around him and he glances down at her, a grin on his face.

“Whatcha laughing about? Almost got us killed.”

He’s silenced quickly when she wraps her lips around his dick and sucks, killing any more remarks and eliciting a groan from him. His right hand finds the back of her head, letting her know she has to slow down if she wants him to keep some semblance of control.

He parks near the train station when she does the exact opposite, running her tongue along his shaft and then sucking on the tip. Killing the engine, he pulls her up and presses a demanding kiss to her lips; his fingers tangling in her hair as they lose themselves in each other.

We were parked out by the tracks We're sitting in the back And we just started getting busy When she whispered what was that The wind, I think 'cause no one else knows where we are And that was when she started screamin' That's my dad outside the car Oh please, the keys, they're not in the ignition Must have wound up on the floor while We were switching our positions I guess they knew that she was missing As I tried to tell her dad it was her mouth that I was kissing Screamin'

It’s frustrating to try and get his shirts off, so she settles for pushing her hands underneath them, scratching along the expanse of his abs as he manoeuvres her to straddle his lap. The steering wheel is constricting their movements, and she huffs her disdain, biting on his bottom lip in retaliation. Dean chuckles.

“I want your fingers, please, Dean.”

He hums, not wanting to detach her lips from his, and brings his hand down. Being the tease that he is, he takes the time to caress and grope his way to the actual destination. Her hand finds his hair and she informs him of her disapproval by pulling on the strands.

“Patience is a virtue, ya know?”

Skirts is what she always wears when they have to meet, easy access and little hassle. Dean pushes his hand under the folds of the red skater skirt, and she grunts something as she presses her core against him.

“Did you hear that?”

Dean finds it hard to focus on anything else that isn’t her body on his lap, so he shakes his head noncommittally while his fingers work to move her panties to the side.

“Wait, stop. I think someone is out there.”

They barely have time to fix their clothes, before her father’s voice growls at her to get her ass out of the car.

Dean unlocks the motel door and rolls his eyes when he finds Sam staring at him. He’d hoped to find him asleep.

“Dude, what the hell happened to you?”

The younger Winchester only receives a grunt in answer, which he interprets as his brother probably pissing someone off.

With a heavy, disappointed sigh, Dean throws his tired body on the mattress. Being threatened with a shotgun was not how he’d pictured their encounter going when he’d picked her up. His phone pings, alerting him of a new text message.

-I’m choosing the spot next time, xoxo.

No, we're never gonna quit Ain't nothing wrong with it Just acting like we're animals No, no matter where we go 'Cause everybody knows We're just a couple of animals

So come on baby, get in We're just a couple of animals Get in, just get in Ain't nothing wrong with it Check out the trouble we're in We're just a couple of animals Get in, just get in.

Masterlist

#theweirdymcweirderson's fics #deanwinchester #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x reader smut #dean winchester drabble #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #supernatural series #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural smut #light smut #reader insert #reader insert fanfiction

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crashdevlin · 4 years

Text

Another Second Chance 1- Black Hole

Another Second Chance Masterlist, Happily Ever Eventually Masterlist

Author’s Note: The final (hopefully) installment of the Happily Ever Eventually RPF series.

Summary: It's been five years since Jensen broke Y/n's heart and she's avoided him completely, but avoidance only lasts so long.

Pairing: past Jensen x Reader

Word count: 2302

Story Warnings: past cheating, little bit of background angst, mostly no warnings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things change. Either gradually or in catastrophic leaps, things change. Fact of life, unfortunately. Songs have been sung, books have been penned, movies have been made, all centered around that single inarguable fact.

When I was a younger woman, I thought that nothing really ever changed, that the facts of my life were that I was weak and stupid and I was always going to be in love with people who didn’t want me and were too good for me, that I was going to be miserable and alone forever. I was certain that I was the same person at 26 that I was at 16 and that’s just how things were always going to be.

I can honestly say, at 34 years old, I’m a different woman than I was at 16 or 26 or 30...and I may be alone, but I am not miserable.

I’m successful. I’m happy. I have friends and I have fans. I am well-rounded and, despite a hundred things working against me, well-adjusted. I’ve learned that I don’t need to be dating someone to be happy. In fact, without all the drama surrounding me whenever I do date someone, I’m happier. I have my children and I have my friends and I am happy. 2025 is shaping up to be one of my best years yet and I am ecstatic to see where it leads.

I’m sitting at my computer when my phone goes off. I don’t recognize the number so I Google it. King Woods Private School, the school Jensen wants to send Mav to. Weird that they’d call me when Jensen has primary custody. I answer immediately. “Hello?”

“Is this Miss Y/l/n? Maverick Ackles’ mother?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Hi, Ma’am. I’m Caroline Smith, Dean of Admissions for King Woods Private School. Your son’s father applied to our institution for the Fall semester for Kindergarten.”

“Oh, yeah. He told me. Said his father is very excited to get him in there.”

“His father didn’t tell you?”

“Mav’s nanny mentioned it, too, but...Jensen and I-”

“Had a very public falling out a few years ago, we’ve done our research,” she interrupts me. “But the thing is, King Woods is a very family-oriented institute and we need both parents to participate in all activities like monthly PTAs and volunteer nights. We need to make sure that both active parents can work together amicably. On that note, we have an admissions interview with little Maverick on Friday and we require your presence. Can you make it? 10:30 am.”

“Ten-thirty on Friday? Y-yeah. I can...I can totally do that. I will...see you then, Mrs. Smith.”

“See you then, ma’am. I’m looking forward to meeting you and your son. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye.” I set my phone to the side of my laptop and take a deep breath. Jensen and I haven’t been in the same room since NolaCon 2020. We’ve emailed a few times, but haven’t even spoken on the phone...in several years...and that’s better. It’s better for everyone if we don’t talk because then we don’t argue and we don’t fall into patterns that leave us in bad shape.

But for Maverick’s future, for Maverick’s good, I will have to do it.

I call Misha. He encourages me and tells me it’ll be okay. He supports me. He’s an amazing friend, has been for years, one of the few I got in the breakup. Most of our friends specifically didn’t take sides. Kim and Briana and Misha, they sided with me...the girls a little more vocally than Meesh, but it ended up a small rift between Misha and Jensen. I put an end to J2M and it hurts a bit when I think about it. They still talk sometimes but nothing like they used to.

Jared still talks to me every once in a while, but he sided with Jensen. Of course he did. Jensen’s his brother. But Jared tries to keep me involved in his life, he tries to stay a friend...but he’s Jensen’s first, always has been.

“It’s gonna suck,” I say, shaking my head.

“Yeah. But still. You gotta do it, right?” Misha says and I chuckle. To the point with Mr. Collins.

“Yeah. I gotta do it. It’s just...I haven’t seen him in years. I mean...except pictures on Instagram. It’s gonna be weird.”

“You know what I say about weird, right?”

“Yeah. But this isn’t the GISH and Random Acts kinda weird, this is...a pit in my stomach that feels like a bowling ball and a fear of reversion to the person I was in the past kinda weird.”

“You’ve grown too much to revert and that bowling ball will go away when you get comfortable again.”

“That’s…that’s the problem. What happens if I get comfortable with him again, Misha?” I’m scared of it. “He’s like this black hole that sucks me in every time and the only way I’ve been able to stave off the destruction of my universe these last five years is to keep my distance. I don’t know what to do when I’m in close proximity to the black hole.”

“You can do this, Y/n. You won’t have any problems...and maybe Jensen’s grown over the last five years, too.”

“Well, you’ve talked to him more than I have. You’d know how much growing he’d done.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like we’re spending all our time together anymore.”

I nod. “So...hope for the best, that he’s grown and things will be okay, and keep my distance from the dark vortex.”

“Exactly.” Misha smiles and looks directly at the camera. “You got this.”

Yeah, I do. I got this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wear an embroidered black silk Joanna Mastroianni dress to the interview. Not a lot of makeup, but enough to accentuate my features. I keep my hair out of my face and I wear sensible, cute shoes. I look good, but not like I’m trying to look good. I look like I’m trying to look presentable and classy for the people in charge of my son’s education.

I make it to the school first and I sit in a plush chair in the waiting room and wait with my legs crossed neatly to the side. I pull out my phone and start playing a game of Solitaire.

“Mommy!” Maverick’s voice pulls my attention away from the Seven of Hearts that is stuck behind the Six of Diamonds that is arresting my forward momentum in the game. I smile as he runs at me, full-speed, and I slip my phone in my purse as he throws his arms around my neck. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too, Mav!” I exclaim. I lean back and look into the beautiful green eyes he inherited from his father. “Have you been having fun with Daddy?”

“Yes! All the time!” Mav says.

He turns his head to look at the door to the lobby as Jensen walks in. Holy shit. He let his hair grow out a bit...little longer than when he was playing a demon. It's multi toned, what would be called 'Salt and Pepper' in any other man, but it looks more like 'Walnut and light Roux' on him. He's rocking his ginger beard and it has some actual salt in the color. He's wearing a blue suit...a masterpiece tailored to take away your breath. The man knows how to make an entrance.

He's still gorgeous...and I’m still stuck on him. Fuck.

I stand and take Mav’s hand as Jensen steps closer. I focus on his forehead. I can’t look at those eyes. I can’t look at those lips or those freckles on his cheeks. Forehead is safe. He tucks his hands in the pockets of his slacks and licks his lips. “Hi,” I greet him, and my voice sounds awkward, too high-pitched.

“Hey,” he responds and oh, God, that voice.

Breathe. Stay away from the singularity, avoid being pulled into the black hole. “You doin’ good?”

He nods. “Yeah. You?”

“Just fine.” Dying, being sucked into a vortex in space.

He opens his mouth like he’s gonna say something else when a tall brunette woman in a smart pantsuit walks out of the office. “Mr. Ackles? Miss Y/l/n?” We nod as she drops to kneel in front of Mav and me. “And this must be little Maverick.”

Mav turns and hides his face in my skirt. “Sorry. He’s a little shy around new people. He’ll warm up to you.”

“It’s okay. It’s natural.” She stands and extends her hand to me and then Jensen, shaking our hands. “Good to see you both here. So, we’re going to take Maverick in and watch him play a bit, get a sense of his social and developmental placement and if he’s a good fit for King Woods, then we will make that happen.”

Jensen and I nod, then I gently pull Mav away from my legs. “You’re gonna go with the nice lady and play with some toys, answer some questions, okay? You can rock that, right, buddy?” Mav nods and smiles at me and Jensen.

“And you two will be just fine out here together, right?” Mrs. Smith says. She’s making sure we won’t freak out on each other. Freaking out on each other is not the problem.

“Of course we will,” Jensen answers. “We’re gonna park ourselves right here in these chairs and wait for you to tell us how brilliant our boy is.” He winks at the woman and she swoons a bit...I have to stop myself from doing the same as I step back toward the chair I was sitting in before. She offers Maverick her hand and he looks back at me before he takes it and follows her as she leads him away toward a playroom. I play with the hem of my dress for a few moments as Jensen takes the seat next to me, his bowlegs stretching out in front of him a bit. “So...listened to that cover album you did...with, uh, Rob, Rich, and Mark. It came out real good. ‘A Little Dive Bar in Dahlonega’ was perfect.”

I look down and my cheeks heat up. “Thanks. Uh...you and Steve are working on Volume Four, right? How’s that comin’?”

“Pretty good. Not bad at all, actually.” There’s a moment of silence and I sneak a look at him. He’s biting his bottom lip. Black hole, black hole, black hole. “Oh, and how’s that Shakespeare thing goin’?”

My eyes light up and I look over at him. “Midsummer! Yes. My pet project! It’s coming. Rich has signed on to direct a few episodes and Matt signed up to be my Puck. I’m really excited to see what we can do with that universe. Fairies are so my jam!”

“Are you just producing and writing it, or are you gonna be acting in it?” he asks, leaning forward, showing interest, active listening.

“I’m Hermia, actually. It’s coming along very well.”

“That’s really good. I’m...happy for you.” He smiles and I bite my tongue. God. This is bad. This is so fucking bad. I look away from him. “So, uh, I heard that you RSVP’d to Padalecki’s July Fourth barbecue, but you never showed up.”

I shake my head and sigh. Of course Jared told him I flaked on Independence Day. “Yeah. I was, uh...I was gonna go but-”

“But then you heard my shoot in Georgia got rescheduled and I wasn’t gonna be in Atlanta like I planned so you decided not to risk runnin’ into me?” he guesses.

“Yeah.” I nod and look over at him. “It was fine. I ended up watching fireworks with Nova over Skype.”

“You know...it’s been years. You don’t have to avoid me. We can be adults. Jared misses you.”

I lick my lips and nod. “It’s just hard for me to be around you. I miss Jared too, but I can’t be around you. It’s too hard.”

“This is hard?” he asks. I open my mouth to respond ‘Unbelievably’, but he keeps talking. “Because it’s not hard for me. It's the most natural thing in the world to me.”

I close my eyes and shake my head, settling back in the chair to lean away from him. “This is why it’s hard.” I open my eyes and pull my phone out to finish that game of Solitaire.

He doesn’t say anything else until Mrs. Smith walks out with Maverick fifteen minutes later. “They had a lot of toys in there!” Maverick shouts.

“Indoor voice, Mav,” I say as I stand up. I focus on Mrs. Smith. “So?”

She smiles brightly. “He’s a brilliant child. We would absolutely love to have him here at King Woods.”

“That’s great news!” Jensen exclaims.

“Indoor voice, Jay,” I joke before it hits me that I just called him ‘Jay’ and teased him. Slippery slope. Don’t get comfortable. “Uh, a-anyway. That is great news.”

“We’ll send you the information for tuition and supplies. It was wonderful to meet you both,” Mrs. Smith says.

I bend down and give Mav a hug as she walks away. “You’re awesome, kiddo. I’ll see you this weekend, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy!”

He runs to his dad and I pick up my purse, stepping toward the door. Jensen puts his hand out as he picks Maverick up to hold him on the other side. He pulls me into a half hug and I go stiff as his hand lands on the small of my back. God, he smells so good...and his hand is so big and…

I pull away and lick my lips. “You and Daddy have fun, Mav!” I almost run out of the lobby and into the parking lot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @sunnyroadtrips @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie Hunter Tags - @atc74 @sandlee44 @spnbaby-67 @kalesrebellion @tumbler-tidbits @hoboal87 @stoneyggirl @kbl1313 @cookiechipdough @mrswhozeewhatsis @winchesterxfamilybusiness @holylulusworld @pretty-fortune @screechingartisancashbailiff @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits @imperiusimpala @supernaturalenchanted Gaga For Green Eyes Tags- @typicalweirdbookworm @deanmonandnegansbitch @jadesupernatural @stoneyggirl @4fareader @squirrelnotsam @lyarr24 @akshi8278 @pretty-fortune @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits Happily Ever Eventually Tags- @deanmonandnegansbitch @jamielea81 @xhannahbananax03 @traceyaudette @fabinaforever11 @pretty-fortune @vicmc624

#cassie writes stuff #spn rpf #jensen ackles #reader insert #jensen x reader #happily ever eventually

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