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paperweight91 · 8 months

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Like I’m Gonna Lose You

Part 1

Summary: your crush on your married lawyer friend gets a little out of control…

Warnings: smut, Daddy kink, infidelity

Pairing: Andy Barber x Reader, mentions of Andy Barber x Laurie Barber

A/N: This is something inspired by the lovely @georgiapeach30513 ! If it wasn’t for her AMAZING fic Desperate Affairs I’m not sure this would exist.

If you would like to read more I am hoping to post the next part soon.

Autumn set in early this year, much earlier then you ever remembered it setting in before. Only the first week of September and you were already wearing your fall jacket to work. You always loved fall, but wish that summer could last just a little longer.

You locked up your apartment as you set out for work, earlier than usual so you could stop and get a nice warm coffee, heck maybe you’d even spring for one of the seasonal drinks since it was pay week.

As you walked into the little cafe and joined the line, which was already so long despite the early hour, you spotted him. ADA Andy Barber. The man you had secretly crushed on for months. It was embarrassing at this point. Mostly because he’s married. It was so hard though, he was always so kind and attentive. In those moments it was easy to forget why you shouldn’t be crushing on him.

“Hey!” Andy smiled at you, and your heart jumped into your throat. Why did he have to have such a nice smile? “I didn’t know you came here. It’s been a while.”

Yeah because I’m avoiding you.

“I don’t usually,” you tried to smile but it probably came out more like a grimace. “With how cool it’s been I wanted a warm treat and no better time than pay week.” Ugh, why? Why were you so awkward?

Andy made small talk as you both progressed through the line. It was wonderful, and so horrible at the same time. Once you placed your order, he quickly sidled up beside to place his own and pay for both.

“Andy! You don’t have to do that!” You look up at him pleadingly.

“My treat.” He says, and he has his courtroom voice on. “Maybe this means I’ll see you here again since you didn’t have to splurge today.” He winks at you.

He WINKED! That has to mean something. God you wish you were better at this.

“Thank you Andy. I really appreciate it.” You smile shyly. “Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow since it’s my day off and I can actually sit and enjoy a coffee for once.” You laugh at your own joke.

“I’ll be here same time, I’ll even save us a table.” Andy says as he reaches for both your cups from the barista saying a quick thanks.

“It’s a date!” You smack you forehead. What a stupid thing to say to a married man. Married, he’s married! “I uh I didn’t mean, you know date as in dating. Oh god. You know what I’m uh I have to go to work. Thanks again Andy.” Your face heats up as you speed walk to your car.

Stupid, stupid! How could you have said that out loud, to his face! He’s gonna think you’re crazy. Scratch that you are crazy. Pining after a man who’s married with a kid. Just ridiculous.

You look up hearing a tapping on your window - it’s Andy. You roll down your window, looking directly at your steering wheel, still too embarrassed to look at him, you can’t even ask him what he wants, it’s too much. He’s probably here to tell you to stay away from him.

“Hey sweetheart,” ugh the pet name is back. He always calls you this when you do something embarrassing. Usually it’s something small like tripping or dropping stuff. Nothing like proclaiming seeing him as a date.

“I’m so sorry Andy, that was so innapropriate. I should not have said that.” You speak barely above a whisper. Not even sure he heard you.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll see you tomorrow same time, okay? Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He reaches his hand through the open window and strokes your hair back from your face.

Huh. Andy’s always been affectionate with you, maybe he’s taking pity on your by now obvious crush on him.

“Th-thanks Andy. See you tomorrow.” You put the car and gear and drive away. God that man he did something to you.

Your day at work was mostly wasted as you spent most of your time thinking of how your date with Andy would go tomorrow. Coffee, he invited you for coffee. That doesn’t mean it’s a date. It’s true lots of friends just get coffee with each other.

Finally, your work day over you sign off and say good bye to your coworkers. Getting in your car, you decide to stop at the grocery store to pick up a few things since you planned to spend all of tomorrow reliving your date with Andy. Whatever, it’s in your own head. Enjoy the moments while you have them right?

Picking up your essentials for the week on autopilot, you barely realize when your back in the car and are halfway home before your brain comes back online. Oh well, at least it wasn’t far. Although you should probably stop day dreaming about Andy while driving. That was a sure fire way to get in an accident.

You spend most of the night tossing and turning, not sure what to think about tomorrow. You finally pull yourself out of bed at 5, knowing you won’t be getting any sleep. You shower and decide to wear one of your favourite fall outfits. A brown sweater dress that has always fit you well. Putting on some light make up, you look at the time and realize you’re running later than you thought and rush out the door.

Pulling up to the cafe you see Andy through the window. As promised sitting at a table, with two cups infront of him.

You take a breath and look at him closely before you walk in. He looked good when he’s not in a suit. He also looks good in a suit, but casual - in jeans and a sweater? This is new and fantastic.

“Andy!” You say as you walk over to the table. “I thought you might be working today?” You don’t mean it to come out as a question but it does anyways.

He laughs and smiles at you. “ I have to go by the courthouse later, but wanted to see you this morning.” His eyes sparkle at you. “I got you the same as yesterday, I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s great but you didn’t have to. I thought I was paying today.” You pout at him as you sit across from him. This kinda feels like a date, right? You can pretend at least.

“I know, I know. But how could I let you pay on our date?” His smile is mischievous. Like he knows he’s doing something he shouldn’t.

Your blush reaches your toes if possible.

“Oh God. Andy I’m so sorry, I know this isn’t a date, I can’t believe I said that, to your face!” You cover your face with your hands but not for long. Andy reaches across the table, and holds your hands in his.

“Andy?” You’re confused. Very confused. And maybe reading into the situation a little too much.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. There’s no reason to be embarrassed.” His smile is so warm on his beautiful face. And you’re not sure what to say so you take a sip of coffee.

“Did you order black?” You ask him and he nods. You quickly switch the cups and sigh at the sip of your over priced pumpkin spice whatever.

From there the conversation flows for more than an hour. You’ve never been able to speak to someone like this. Not friends or ex-boyfriends. Andy is such a great listener and so passionate when he speaks. You get lost staring at him while he tells you about a case he just wrapped up.

Watching how his eyes light up when he mentions something he was clearly proud of. How his neck flexes when he recalls something seedy the defence did. He’s just beautiful.

“Hey,” he waves a hand in front of your face. “Did I lose you for a minute?”

“N-no, of course not. You were talking about how Neil’s been trying to steal this case from you?” God you hope that’s right.

He sighs, wrong. Dammit.

“Laurie finds this stuff boring too. I’m used to it. We can talk about something else if you want.” You definitely don’t want that. He seems so sad, and put out by your obvious distraction, it’s natural when you reach across the table to cup his cheek.

“I’m sorry Andy. It’s not boring I promise. I just um…” you trail off, unsure of how to say what was actually happening.

“What sweetheart? You know you can tell me.” His face is a mix of confusion and worry. And you don’t like that so you know you have to tell him.

“Well I just was watching you while you spoke, and I know it sounds creepy. But Andy you’re so passionate and it shows throughout you. I really admire that about you.” There that wasn’t terrible. He won’t think the wrong thing, right?

The smile that spreads across his face makes your insides jump around. Beautiful.

“Thank you sweetheart. You want to get out of here?” Wait what? Isn’t that what the creepy dude you met at the bar asked you? It must have shown on your face because he quickly added, “I’d like to spend some more time with you, but I’m not gonna lie. These chairs? They’re killing my back.” He laughed.

You laughed too. “Would you want to come back to my apartment? I could make us a bite to eat?”

“That sounds great sweetheart. Text me your address, I’ll meet you there.”

You text him your address and start to gather your things. He walks you to your car with his hand on the small of your back the whole time. It’s not weird, friends do this. Right?

You race back to your apartment to do a quick tidy before Andy shows up. Just when you begin to think he isn’t showing up, there’s a knock at your door.

“Sorry! Couldn’t find parking” he must have parked pretty far away. You see the slight sheen of sweat on his brow.

“That’s alright, please come in. And excuse the mess I was planning to clean when I got back.”

His eyes take in your apartment and you squirm like he’s inspecting you.

“Is something wrong?” You ask. His silence is making you nervous, and you shuffle your feet.

“Oh sweetheart no, nothings wrong. Your place is wonderful. I was just trying to find this ‘mess’ you speak of.” He pulls you into his arms. And you giggle at his joke and the closeness. “ is this okay?” He asks wrapping one arm around your waist. The other has found it’s way to your face cupping your cheek and bringing you closer.

“Uh Andy what’s going on?” You’re nervous it’s obvious. He can’t be doing what you think he’s doing.

As leans in you can see his lips get closer before he whispers. “Please don’t tell me it’s all in my head. You want me, don’t you?”

Before you can respond he’s kissing you. Actually kissing you. And the world stops for a moment, because this? This is perfect, and wonderful and-he’s married.

You push him away. “Andy, you’re - you’re married. What about Laurie?” God it hurt to push him away. But you can’t do this right? Even if you’ve never felt like that kissing someone before.

Andy sighs and pulls away from you. And that hurts worse than stopping the kissing. He begins to pace around your living room, before he gathers his thoughts. He finally turns to you and places his hands on his hips.

“Just answer me. Do you want me?” He looks sad again, and that’s a look you don’t want to see on his face. And worse to know you put it there.

“Of course I do. But-“ he cuts you off.

“Sweetheart, things with Laurie they’re - complicated. And you, I feel so much more like myself around you. Please, if you don’t want this I will walk out that door, and never bother you again. But if you do…” he trails off. The most earnest look on his face.

Your body makes a decision before your brain can catch up and somehow you’re kissing him again. But this time it’s much more heated.

“You’re sure?” You mumble against his lips. His only answer is to wrap his hand around your thighs and lift. Blindly carrying you over to the couch. He trails kisses down your neck to the line of your sweater dress. His hands skimming up your thighs underneath your dress to your panties.

“Wanted you for so long.” He says between kisses to your collarbone. “Wanna see you sweetheart, can I?”

You nod bashfully and he gets up so you can pull your sweater dress off. There you are standing in front of Andy Barber in nothing but a nude lacy bra and panty set.

“Don’t hide from me sweetheart. You’re beautiful like this.” His hands reach out to you and you go into his embrace. And he’s kissing you again. Pushing you down to the couch he starts to grope at your breasts, before releasing the front clasp on your bra.

The groan Andy lets out when he sees your breasts spill out flips a switch in you. This man wants you so badly, he’s willing to cheat on his wife for you. You reach down to remove your panties, but Andy’s hand stops you.

“Want you to keep them on sweetheart. Gonna fuck you, then fill you up and then you’re gonna keep it in there all day till I tell you to clean up. Cause you’re my good girl right?” His pupils are blown wide as he looks down at you. And all you can do is moan and nod.

“Please Andy…” you’re writhing and mewling beneath him and he’s barely touched you. You reach down to pull at his fly and button to get his cock out.

“Such a good girl for me aren’t you sweetheart?” He starts to pinch on of your nipples, while massaging the other breast. “Want Daddy to take care of you? Get you all cockdrunk and full?”

“Please Daddy,” you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore as you slowly jack him off. “Want you so bad, always wanted you, only you.”

Andy groans and surges forward to kiss you again. His hands leave your breasts to line himself up with your core. He pulls your panties to the side with one and runs the head of his cock between your lips with the other.

“Look at you, drenched for me and I’ve barely even touched you. Tell me how bad you want it baby, and then I’ll give it to you.” You reach up to cup his cheek.

“Want you so bad Daddy. Need you. Feel like I’m gonna lose it if you’re not inside me soon.” You whine and whimper as he teases you with his cock.

Finally he starts to breach your pussy. It’s a stretch, he’s bigger than you have had before, and you reach up to his arms and squeeze.

“You’re doing so good for me baby. Just a little more. Daddy will take care of you, I promise.” He’s whispering as he leans his forehead against yours. His eyes staring straight into yours.

“You’re so big, I don’t think it’s gonna fit.” You whimper and he kisses your temple. Finally you feel his balls slap against your ass and he’s all the way in.

“Oh baby, gonna fuck you now. You ready?” His hips are already pulling back before you can answer and they snap forward roughly.

Your eyes roll back as he gets into a rhythm. No one has ever throughly ruined you like this before. He may have ruined you for other men.

Andy sets a brutal pace, his hips snapping into you fast and rough. His right hand cupping and playing with your breast and the left sneaking into your panties to rub circles on your clit.

“Daddy please ‘m close.” It’s building inside you and before you can warn him your screaming out your orgasm.

“That’s it, such a good girl for Daddy. I’m right behind you baby.” And somehow Andy’s pace picks up again. You didn’t think he could fuck you any faster or harder, but here he is railing you within an inch of your life.

“‘M close baby, almost there.” He groans his release and you feel his cum flooding into you.

He pants into your neck for a few moments as you stroke one hand through his hair. The other is shamelessly clinging to his ass.

“You did so good for me baby.” He leans over you to pepper kisses all over your face causing you to giggle.

“Andy!” He laughs and finally gives you a break. Looking down at where you’re both connected he slowly starts to pull out, causing you to shudder. He lets your panties snap back into place, and slides down to kiss over your covered mound.

“Remember baby keep it all inside until I tell you to clean up okay?” This is new. The sex you’ve had with men before was…meh at best. And now you’ve slept with a married man, who wants you to call him Daddy and keep his cum inside you all day.

“Uh Andy?” You’re not sure if you want to tell him this. But you probably should.

When he climbs back up your body and gazes into your eyes it’s to see a searching expression on his face.

“Yeah baby, what is it?” He’s so kind, so sweet.

“What does this mean?” You can’t look him in the eye. It’s too embarrassing.

Andy sighs before responding. “I want to do this with you. Get to know you, spend time with you, fucking ruin you for other men. I don’t know where it will god, but we’ll figure it out as we go. Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.”

And that’s how your affair with Andy Barber started.

After that it became a regular thing. When he could sneak away from Laurie he would text or call you to come over. There was nagging guilt building, but you always managed to push it away.

He was choosing you over her!

You let it carry on for months, trying all of Andy’s newest ideas to bring you both pleasure. After the first time, he didn’t linger around for very long after. Usually leaving as soon as he had you stuffed full of his cum. And you of course just kept falling for this unavailable man.

As you tidied up the house on your day off you heard your phone start ringing from the kitchen where you must have left it.

“Hang on!” You rush through the living room to answer, knowing that the only person who ever calls you is Andy.

“Hey Sweetheart,” ugh his voice. It got you every time.

“Hey Andy, what’s up?” That was casual right?

He laughs across the line, “I miss you sweetheart can I come see you?”

“Oh course! I was just tidy-“he cuts you off.

“Great I’ll be there in 20.” With that the line clicks off. You hum as you lose interest in tidying and decide to change, since you know what’s coming.

Slipping out of your pants and t-shirt, you decide on a floral dress with spaghetti straps. Andy always likes when you wear dresses for him.

15 minutes later you hear the knock at your apartment door that can only be him.

You smile as you open the door. “Hey, were you in the neighborhood?”

He doesn’t answer, just closes the door behind him, and pulls his jacket off. He goes to sit on your couch and gestures you to follow him.

“Is something wrong?” You ask him with a worried look on your face.

Andy’s face softens as he pulls you into his lap. “No sweetheart, I’m sorry. It’s not you. Just a bad day and I needed my good girl around to help me feel better.”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and nuzzle into his neck. Peppering kisses along the collar of his shirt. “I’m sorry, can I do anything to help you feel better?”

His smile is watery as he turns his face to look at you. “Can I take you to bed baby? I just need to feel you.”

“Of course Daddy, always want to feel you.” You wrap your arms tightly around his shoulders as he lifts you bridal style to take you to your bedroom.

He gently lowers you to your mattress, and himself above you. The kiss he plants on your lips is different from all the times he’s kissed you before. It’s slower, more passionate, like he’s trying to convey more without words.

You thread your fingers through his hair with one hand and use the other to start unbuttoning his shirt. Which he quickly shrugs out of. He moves to the zipper of your dress, normally something like this he’d barely undress you, but today something was different. Did he feel it too?

When you were both fully naked he cupped your cheek and stared into your eyes for a few moments, before slowly easing himself into you. Slowly he began to rut into you, his eyes never leaving yours. You could feel the pleasure building, slowly, but in a delicious way you had never felt before.

Using one arm to brace himself he brought the other down to your clit and started rubbing figure eights.

“Oh Andy, please I’m close. Don’t stop.” You were panting.

“I know sweetheart, I’m close too. Come on, I want us to cum together.” He adds more pressure to his fingers and changes the angle of his hips so he’s hitting your g-spot with every thrust.

“Oh! Oh, right there, right-“ you cut yourself off with a loud moan as your orgasm tears through you. It almost feels like you black out for a moment, because the next thing you know Andy is collapsing beside you and pulling you into his chest.

Through the afterglow you manage to murmur a few words to Andy. “I love you…”

He stiffens underneath you, the slow strokes of his hand running up and down your arm stop immediately.

“Andy?” He starts to sit up, not looking at you. In that moment you realize how wrong you had gotten everything. He didn’t want more than the sex. That was it, and here you were falling in love with a married man.

“I have to go.” He quickly gathers his clothes, still not looking at you as he dresses himself. While you sit alone and naked on your bed, in shock. Once he’s dressed he spares you a glance before walking out your door.

As soon as the latch clicks into place it’s like the last few moments finally hit you. You told him you love him, and he left. You turn over and sob into your pillow, uncaring for your nakedness, or how cold your bedroom is. Still smelling his cologne there makes you sob harder, to the point you feel like you’re going to throw up. It’s too much. You gave him too much of yourself, and now what do you have to show for it?

The days seems to stretch on after that. Everything seems to be passing in a haze around you. You call in to work on Monday, because why bother.

On Monday night you get a text from Andy. To say you’re shocked is an understatement. You stare at the notification for a while, unsure if you want to see what he has to say.

Deciding that you pretty much already knew what it was going to say you decide to jump in the shower, since you can’t remember the last time you did that. Stepping out you see your phone taunting you from the counter. More notifications from Andy.

Hey Sweetheart, just wanted to check in. Can I call? Pffft yeah right.

I’m sorry Sweetheart, please just let me explain

Nope, not gonna work.

At least just let me know you’re okay? Why were you starting to feel guilty? Of course you weren’t okay. Of course you didn’t want to speak with him. Of course you were falling for it.

Before your brain catches up to what you are doing you’re phone is ringing to Andy.

“Hello?” His voice is rough, like he was sleeping. Maybe he’s as upset as you?

“Sweetheart? Are you there?”

“Hey, yup, sorry. What do you want Andy?” Ugh, why are you almost crying again.

“Can I come over and we talk? Please? I want to explain and I don’t want to do it over the phone or through text.” He’s pleading. Well good, he broke your heart.

“If you want to come over to make it clear that this was just sex to you, no need. You walking out the door after I told you I love you-“ your breath gets caught in your throat but you power through. “That made things pretty clear.”

“That’s not-“ this time you cut him off.

“No Andy. Unless you’re about to say ‘I’m leaving Laurie’ this conversation is over.” You pause waiting for him to say something, anything. After the longest moment of silence you’ve ever experienced in your life passes you hang up.

It’s like you have no more tears left. You stand there alone in your sad apartment feeling the worst you have in a long time. You decide you need to move on, avoid Andy at all costs and live your life like you used to before the tornado that he was, came blustering in.

#andy barber #andy barber x reader #reader insert #chris evans #like I’m gonna lose you

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flawless-imperfections · 1 year

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so i’ll kiss you longer baby any chance that i get

#vibe with me #like i’m gonna lose you #meghan trainor #john legend #2023 #Spotify

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davidtennantgenderenvy · 2 years

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re. my post from a couple of weeks ago if you ever wanted to see Riza Hawkeye singing a sad song today is your lucky day! Thanks @lantur for partially inspiring this song association in the first place :)

youtube

#fullmetal alchemist #royai #riza hawkeye #like i’m gonna lose you #meghan trainor #song cover #cosplay #feels #Youtube

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ghost-bxrd · 2 months

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Prompt:

It’s not that Jason forgot, per se.

But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place that’s also child friendly… well, it kind of slipped his mind that he’s supposed to be… dead.

Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne

#look I’ve found a new fave trope and it’s Brucie Wayne having to keep up his act while internally LOSING HIS SHIT #Jason isn’t very into the whole revenge thing here #his mind is 85 parts ‘keep Dami safe’ 5 parts ‘kill joker asap’ and 10 parts ‘avoid bats at any cost’#Jason doesn’t know who Damian’s father is #dealer’s choice if Jason establishes himself as Dami’s dad or older brother #his build certainly makes him look old enough #if you don’t look at his baby face lol #Jason runs into Brucie and goes straight into survival mode #Damian who is very observant for a toddler immediately clocks Brucie as THREAT based on Jason’s reaction #Brucie blue screens and desperately tries not to lose Jason in the crowd #jason is absolutely trying to lose Brucie in the crowd #while clutching Damian like his life depends on it #for all he knows it does #the visceral terror that your pseudo dad will take away your little brother/baby #Bruce who just wants to know if he’s hallucinating again: W A I T #jason who is terrified of being put in Arkham for killing people: no FUCKING WAY #hm maybe Jason plays the ‘I’m not Jason’ game again #it’s not gonna hold for long #but Bruce absolutely thinks that Damian is Jason’s bio child for a while and he’s on the WARPATH #Jason was sixteen when he died and never showed any interest in dating so literally every red flag is waving in brucie’s mind simultaneousl #or maybe Jason manages to get away and all Brucie is left with is the memory of his supposedly dead son #running away from him #and clutching a tiny kid #prompts #jason todd #batfamily #Damian wayne #batdad #brucie wayne

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marlynnofmany · 2 years

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A friend of mine had this idea, and I’d love to see it in an urban fantasy: magic is real and it stays secret because it looks like bad CGI. The fakest thing ever.

People who witness magic in person can always have their minds clouded, as they have been for most of human history, but all this newfangled technology has to be handled a different way. A video camera records exactly what it sees.

So, what it sees is … something that looks laughably fake. For any time period. The various secret magicians of the world make a point to keep their spells up to date with the current mundane trends — some of them even have running contests for who can make the most fake-looking spell.

I imagine they have a great time doing it. I sure would.

#writing prompts #magic #urban fantasy #secret magic #magic in the mundane world #somebody write this #it would be amazing #possibly a challenge to describe #but put a good narrating character in there and you should be set #‘it looked like somebody scribbled with MSPaint across the room’#‘then the dude was suddenly on the floor’#‘with stink lines or something coming off him?’#‘then there was this new scribble that looked like a toothy face’#‘and that’s when I bolted down the alley’#‘if I’m gonna lose touch with reality I’ll do it from the safety of my own home’#‘hiding behind the door. with a baseball bat.’

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withdenim · 6 months

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Terrified by how this is gonna play out. Dragon/oni imagery in ninjago has famously always ended well for the characters involved.

#update to my sora design also #when are we gonna find out what arins horns are for I’m losing my mind #weird thing to put on a character design in a show like ninjago without a reason #ESPECIALLY because they’re Lloyd’s kids if you know what I mean #it’s a cycle it’s always a cycle #oni and dragon have FSM. FSM is forced to choose between them #FSM has wu and Garmadon. wu and Garmadon are oni and dragon #oni and dragon (wu and Garmadon) make Lloyd (next in line. sole heir.) choose between them #Lloyd gets two students/kids (Arin and sora) they have oni and dragon imagery #what’s going on here. what is this. it has to mean something #ninjago #dragons rising #my art #ninjago dragons rising #lego ninjago #Arin ninjago #sora ninjago #Arin dragons rising #sora dragons rising

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luigi-core · 1 year

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i am going to combust into a million pieces

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swampthingking · 24 days

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andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:

“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”

#pr manager is like: andrew… this is the last time i’m gonna tell you #andrew: whats the point of democracy if i can’t exercise freedom of speech #pr manager: andrew it’s no longer about your image #at this point we are concerned the fbi is going to show up #andrew: neil has connections. i’m fine #they thought marketing andrew on social media would be good #they were sooooo wrong #because now andrew has a place to share every insane thing he’s ever thought #for instance—a tweet that just says ‘an alien googling: human clothes’#he’s on there advocating for lgbtq+ youth you KNOW HE IS #he’s cursing and mildly threatening members of congress for imposing these disgusting bills #one day he tweeted ‘does mitch mcconnell know he’s dead yet’#when mitch mcconnell stepped down from senate andrew tweeted ‘hopefully next he steps down from life’#unsurprisingly: this endears him to some people and makes others fucking hate him #and he’s such a shit. he does not care either way #he’s kind of just like: pr manager. you gave me a twitter and told me to tweet. i’m just doing what you asked me #they’ve threatened to change his password so many times #they actually did once but andrew reported the account so many times for defamation and fraud that it got suspended #and he made a new account out of pure spite #his pr manager is like: andrew nobody is going to want to sign you because of your public image #and andrew is like: ?? ok. they can lose every game then #(he knows he’s the best goalie)#ok i think that’s enough for now. however i will probably be back #andrew minyard #aftg #tfc #trk #tkm #the foxhole court #all for the game

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thatgirlonstage · 2 months

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The thing about tumblr is that there’s a panic about how the site is dying and falling apart literally every other week so eventually if you’ve been here long enough you just get zen about it. Like if anything specific is your breaking point do whatever you want but personally they’re gonna have to pry me out of the vents like a feral raccoon before I leave. Anyway if you’re new here and you see people talk about how something is the end of tumblr and you’re afraid they’re correct I just want you to know I’ve been here through probably like 300 ends of tumblr. I’m not saying it will never happen for real but statistically I remain skeptical.

#this is about the midjourney deal thing but #if it breaks containment and starts circulating every time smth happens I’m gonna laugh #anyway: yeah sure it’s scummy on tumblr’s part. but like.#I don’t honestly believe there’s a site that ISN’T getting scraped by ai and data mining these days #so what are you even really losing #yeah yeah I toggled off the data sharing whatever #it’s just not nearly the scummiest thing tumblr has done #and not even close to the scummiest thing a major social media platform has done #so people seeing people be like ‘WELL I’M LEAVING OVER THIS’#I’m just like. lol okay.

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puppyeared · 1 year

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Once upon a time

#I want them to lose focus and have a consensual workplace relationship 🥺🥺#ALSO WHAT?. SEASON 4 DROP OUT OF NOWHERE WHAT? AND WE GET SHADOWPEACH BACKSTORY CRUNBS???#can’t get over macaque’s face in That photo. I know what you are #I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS FOR THEM THOUGH UGHHHGFDO #like I have the model sheet for macaque and it shows him with his six ears and it says only to draw the six ears if extreme closeup but i #can’t find a single screen cap in the show with his six ears #I’d like to think wukong would have been one of the first ppl he’d show them to if he always has his glamor on them. PLS IT WOULD BE SO CUTE #like the glamor comes off his scar and someone pointed out his tail switching between black and white and a theory he’s using glamor on his #fur too. but he never ever takes the glamor off his ears which I want to believe is more than just the crew not drawing ‘em #I’m gonna be honest I’m only gonna watch season 4 when dub comes out but. that’s not gonna stop me from peeping the tags since I don’t under #understand the subs anyway.#first shadowpeach art too let’s gooooo. im so normal about them (lying)#my art #myart #Lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #lmk macaque #six eared macaque #sun wukong #shadowpeach #lmk fanart #lmk wukong #lmk monkey king #lmk six eared macaque #lmk season 4 spoilers #lmk season 4 #lmk spoilers

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atopvisenyashill · 5 months

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i was thinking more about characters Performing Gender, but not necessarily Transgressing Gender. I wound up focusing on Ned and Sansa bc I feel like I understand them the most but-

Sansa as a hostage is imo the most obvious (bc it’s so well done) moment of someone clearly Performing Gender but not being transgressive in that performance. Which isn’t to say it’s not a complicated performance; it’s a fine line Sansa walks between weaponizing her gender to protect herself without seeming too fake. She’s trying to placate the Lannisters by playing the perfect, dedicated, air headed betrothed because it’s the only defense she has - if she outwardly rebels, she will be punished in a likely violent and/or sexual way (which isn’t even conjecture - when she says “or maybe he’ll give me yours” Joffrey has her struck with an armored hand). She’s not quite successful in being convincing but that’s because it’s a rather extreme situation; despite no one believing her, she does make herself seem meek and stupid enough that no one suspects she’s plotting to escape with Dontos until she’s well away from KL. The fact that she even has Dontos to confide in is because of Sansa’s relationship with gender! When she saves him, she covers her rebellious slip by playing up Joffrey’s intelligence & his role as King; she reaches for “tools” of her gender AND of ~proper manhood~ to save a life and herself from another beating. Her retreats into the godswood and silence are very much Sansa attempting to recharge from these draining interactions, the same way a knight would need to stop and eat and rest after a fight. She is fighting, constantly, by forcing herself to stay within the narrow confines of a specific type of gender performance as a way of shielding herself from harm.

Ned yelling at Cat is another big one, and I’ve seen the scene referred to as Ned using his patriarchal power to scare Cat, which is a great description. It feels like a Performance because Ned is putting on this terrifying Lord Stark mask in an attempt to get Catelyn to stop asking about Jon (and Lyanna). This is not how he usually acts with those he loves! When Ned is with His People, he is welcoming of questions, curiosity, emotion, even transgressive thought (to a point! the idea that Ned is a feminist because he lets Arya learn to fight is Not accurate but you can’t deny he allows significantly more flexibility wrt gender expression than most of the fathers we meet in this series. the bar is in hell tho). Yet when Cat asks him about Jon’s mother, Ned scares her so well she stops asking & still remembers the moment bitterly over a decade later. And if that snippet we see through Bran’s eyes of Ned praying that Cat will forgive him does come after she asks (like it’s suspected), it’s clear not only that this is a performance he’s putting on & weaponizing against Cat, it’s one he does not like using as a weapon against someone he is close to. After using the power his gender gives him to cause harm, he retreats to the godswood and silence to pray and rest, much like Sansa. A spiritual cleanse, the way a soldier may pray after battle, to reset and reconnect Being A Proper Man to Being A Kind Man.

I think there’s something interesting in that two of the characters most widely defined by how well they adhere to Westerosi gender norms both dislike feeling like they had to weaponize their gender. They are exhausted by the performance, because it’s a performance. This isn’t Sansa getting excited over tourneys, or Ned teaching his sons to fight; it’s toxic masculinity, it’s structural misogyny. It’s something they’re good at, excel at, and connected to something they enjoy but when it’s paired with violence, whether done by Ned or done to Sansa, it crosses over in their minds from an innate part of themselves (The Gender) to a performance necessary due to survival (The Gender Role). And that after these performances, both retreat to nature & god as a way of resting and cleansing from the experience.

#valyrianscrolls #ned stark #sansa stark #getting on my soap box #there’s something here too about romanticism. like shelley and coleridge and whitman. the need to return to nature to undo society’s harm.#especially with the way various romance movements and romantic tropes are played with by their characters.#i can’t even remember who said it which just shows u how shitty an english major i am aksjd but about how.#like society is necessary but just as necessary is the ability to escape into nature. i *think* it was coleridge i’m probably wrong.#the gender war makes corpses of us all #gender politics in asoiaf #obviously you can point to several moments for both of them. sansa calling petyr father. ned’s relationship with theon. wherein they both #are clearly performing something for an audience.#there’s like 12 other branches of this in my head. jaime’s romanticism. being knighted bloody & the sacrilegious nature of the sept sex.#and his inability to escape his gender performance the way ned & sansa do. ned being willing to cry in front of others but robb only ever #crying in the dark with his baby brother after he loses ned. cat’s tower stuff & finding solace in sewing.#i’m gonna try to write up something about loras & renly here too. tomorrow.#also i wrote this at the train station after work so if there’s errors or it makes no sense just pretend u never saw it skskdj

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paperweight91 · 7 months

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Like I’m Gonna Lose You

Part 2

Summary: After “ending” things with Andy your life takes an unexpected turn at a work function.

Warnings: fluff, Ransom being completely OOC

A/N: here is part 2. I’m letting the story take me where it goes. Feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

Characters: Andy Barber, Ransom Drysdale, mentions of Laurie Barber

Before you knew it it was February and your work was hosting a Gala in hopes of wooing some of Boston's most elite. The girls in the office were gossiping about who they were going to bring with them, when the spotlight suddenly shined on you.

“Are you bringing anyone to the gala tonight?” Tammy asked with a coy look. Did she know something?

“Uhh nope, we’re all working anyways, doesn’t seem right to drag someone there and not be able to see them.” It was true you were supposed to be “wooing” all night.

The other girls seem miffed at your lack of gossip contribution, and move on to their owns dates and what they are wearing. Effectively cutting you out of the conversation.

You were starting to look forward to the event, even if you were the only one from your office going alone. A night to get dressed up and rub elbows with some of the most influential people on the east coast was exciting. You rushed home from the office and made quick work of getting ready in your emerald green dress. It was a little prom-like, but cute and more importantly easy to move around in.

Arriving early, you greeted your boss Levi and his wife and started to make the rounds of the guests beginning to arrive.

What you didn’t realize was the entire DAs office had been invited as well. Seeing Andy laughing and talking with Laurie you knew. He was never going to leave his wife, and definitely not for you.

It was too much, you went to the bar and ordered a tequila shot. Your drink of choice when you wanted to get absolutely shitfaced.

“May want to slow down there Kitten, you’ll drink the whole bar at that pace.” You looked over at the smug stranger. Surprised at his boyish good looks. He was clearly arrogant, but there was a glint in his eye. Was it concern? He doesn’t even know you, it’s definitely not that.

You give him a confused look. “I’m sorry, do I know you?” You ask.

“Hugh Drysdale, but you Kitten can call me Ramsom. I’m here in hopes of being, what was the term ‘woo’d’” you start giggling right away. “And what’s so funny about that Kitten?”

You introduce yourself as well, “well I’m supposed to be ‘wooing’ but too busy drinking I guess.” Ransom laughs at your half hearted joke.

“So what are we drinking about?” He looks at the bartender to ask for two more shots, “tequila?” You nod with a smile, “definitely about a guy. Want me to take your mind off him? You are supposed to be ‘wooing’ me after all.”

You playfully slap at his arm. Wow, are all men this muscular? Between Andy and Ransom they both seem ridiculously built for the lines of work they were in. Stop thinking about Andy! Your brain screams at you, “Wooing Ransom not flirting!” He laughs with you.

“Then at least let me have you on my arm tonight. It would be a waste for such a pretty girl to be here all alone.” Your face heats at his words, and you glance over at Andy. He’s dancing with Laurie. His wife. With that image burned in your mind you take Ransom's hand and let him lead you around the room.

Ransom true to his word keeps you on his arm all night. You don’t even notice the stolen glances Andy repeatedly sends your way. After your fourth time around the room you excuse yourself to the restroom.

“Don’t keep me waiting long kitten.” He winks at you as he watches you walk away.

You feel giddy as you reach the thankfully empty washroom. You select a stall to quickly do your business. Going over all the wonderful moments you’ve had with Ransom and all you’ve learned about him so far.

You hear the door open and shut - was that a lock clicking? Probably your imagination. You flush and open the stall door just to come face-to-face with Andy.

“Andy? What are you doing in here it’s the ladies room.” He locked the door, you’re trapped.

“Sweetheart, I’ve missed you. I just want to talk it will be quick I promise.”

You huff as you walk past him to wash your hands. Surveying your appearance in the mirror.

“Fine. Speak fast.” You cross your arms across your chest.

Andy runs his hands through his fluffy hair before he starts, “I’m sorry, I was an ass. You said…you said that you love me. And it scared me. And now I see you here with that trash Drysdale. Do you know anything about him by the way?”

You hum, you’re not going to dignify that with a response.

“Fine okay, I shouldn’t say anything with who I’m here with. But Sweetheart, I can’t say that to you yet. Not until I leave Laurie.” He’s giving you hope. You realize now you have to make a decision.

You open your mouth and are shocked with the response you come up with. “I’ll believe it when I see it Andy. For now you’re keeping me from working, and spending the evening with a man who is single. Good night”

You storm past Andy to the door to unlock it and leave. You’re so lost in your own head your walk face first into the person you were looking for.

“Woah there Kitten. Something happen?” He glances behind you and spies Andy leaving the ladies room. “Barber bothering you?”

You look up at Ransom, his blue green eyes staring straight at you. Not sure how to respond, you shrug.

He wraps both arms tightly around you, and you sigh at the warm safe feeling encapsulating you. “Why don’t we go somewhere more relaxed and talk. No funny business.”

Searching his eyes you see nothing but warmth and care. “Please Ransom.” Your voice is just above a whisper. But with those two words Ransom becomes a man on a mission. Grabbing both your coats from coat check and ordering an Uber on his phone.

The next thing you know you’re pulling up to Ransom's home. He gets a bit pink high in his cheeks and rubs the back of his neck, “I wasn’t sure where else to take you.”

You give him a warm smile and follow him to the front door. He takes your coat and offers to get you some clothes to change into. You gratefully accept and wander around his living room. You stop only at the floor to ceiling windows looking out into the woods. Eery, but strangely calming as well. The freshly fallen snow makes the trees look like something out of a fairy tale.

“I don’t have any girls clothes, I hope this will be okay?” He’s rubbing the back of his neck as he hands you one of his college hoodies and a pair of basketball shorts.

“It’s perfect, thank you Ransom. Where can I…?”

“Down the hall first door on your left.” He points.

You change quickly in the guest room, loving the scent of Ransom all around you. When you return Ransom is sitting on the couch with his foot propped against the coffee table. You admire him for a few moments, taking in his long legs, and perfectly placed hair. His large hands, one gripping what appears to be a scotch keep grabbing your attention. Before you can make a fool of yourself you head into the room.

Ransom’s face lights up as he sees you, and he gestures you to sit beside him. “So tell me about you and ADA Barber.”

He couldn’t start small could he?

“Ugh, where do I start?” He gives you an encouraging smile and it’s like it word vomits out if you. Your embarrassing crush, the too perfect ‘first date’, all the sex and finally your love confession.

“Huh,” Ransoms response leaves a lot to be desired.

“‘Huh?’ What do you mean?”

“Nothing! It’s just, it sounds like he has one foot in both relationships.” Ransom scowls. This isn’t at all what you expect from him. Of course you had heard about Ransom and his playboy lifestyle. But those rumours didn’t seem to match the man sitting beside you.

“I don’t know what I thought our relationship would be,” you look down as you play with the ties of his shorts that you wear. “I felt like, at first it was a harmless crush, but I knew I wanted more and when it seemed like he did too…”

“You got swept up.” He states, taking a long sip from his drink while he thinks. “I think I know a way to help you get over him.”

“I’m not sleeping with you Ransom.”

He gives a full bellied laugh at that. “That’s not at all what I was suggesting.”

“What then?” You have no idea where he’s going with this.

“Go on a date with me. Like a proper date, we had fun tonight before Barber came in and ruined everything, didn’t we?” He looks a little nervous now.

You’re shocked. The only thing you can think to say comes out before you can stop it, “Why?” At Ransom's pout you quickly follow up with, “Why me?”

He lets out a puff of air before he speaks. Clearly contemplating each word before he says them. “I think you’re pretty, you seem smart, funny and you have spent an entire evening with me without throwing a drink in my face.”

You feel yourself getting giddy at his words. Would it be the worst thing in the world? To go on a date with Ransom?

“That…that sounds lovely Ransom. But I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I-“ you huff. Why is it so hard to put your thoughts into words sometimes? “I want to take things slow, I don’t want to lose myself in someone else again.”

The smile that spreads across his face lights up the room. It’s like his eyes start to sparkle. “I expect nothing less Kitten. Now you have two options, you can grab your clothes and go home, or…”

“Or what?” You ask not wanting to leave Ransoms presence quite yet.

“Or I can get changed we can watch a movie, you can sleep in my guest room and tomorrow we’ll go on a breakfast date.” His eyes are full of mischief, but also something tender.

Meekly, you look up at him through your lashes and giggle as you say, “can I take option number 2 please?”

Ransom gives you another one of those warm smiles, and stands to cross to the TV stand. “Pick something while I go change. Please know I will be judging your choice.” He winks as he leaves you flustered on the couch.

You settle on a romantic comedy you’ve seen about a hundred times, but never fails to make you smile.

He snorts as he walks back into the room in a white t-shirt and flannel pants. “I did tell you I was judging you right?”

You laugh as you playfully push at his arm as he sits beside you. “This is a classic!” You say with mock outrage.

By the end of the movie your cuddled up against Ransom's side. Loving the feel and scent of him.

“C’mon Kitten,” he whispers to the top of your head. “Time for bed if we want that breakfast date to actually be breakfast.”

You both walk along the hall to your respective rooms. “Thanks Ransom - for everything tonight. Really.”

He smiles as he cups your face in his hand and strokes your cheek with his thumb. “The pleasure is all mine Kitten.”

As you enter the guest room you smile softly to yourself. Are you already falling for Ransom? You push the thought out of your head and climb into the bed. Drifting off quickly.

You wake later than normal, feeling well rested. Disoriented by your surroundings, it takes you a moment to realize where you are. Suddenly, last night rushes back to you. The gala, Ransom, Andy cornering you. Ugh, what were you doing?

You get up and listen at the door to see if you hear movement. Nothing. Probably safe to go freshen up in the bathroom. You find Ransom has left you a spare toothbrush out and a fresh pair of joggers and sweatshirt in case you want to shower.

After freshening up, you walk out to the main living area to see it empty. Listening closely, you don’t hear any movement around the house. Should you look for him?

Before you can make a decision Ransom appears from down the hall. Dressed in slacks with a white sweatshirt he looks like he stepped right off of a photo shoot.

He sidles up beside you where you stand by the floor to ceiling windows. “Like the view Kitten?”

You give him a small smile and look back out towards the woods. “I love it.” You say, “It’s beautiful, but haunting at the same time. I didn’t know views like this existed outside of books, and maybe my imagination.”

Ransom just watches you intently while you speak, taking in all the small ticks in your facial expressions. He realizes then why Andy was able to lure you in. All of your feelings are bare on your face, even if you try and hide them, it’s still obvious how you are feeling.

“Yeah I like this view too.” He whispers, only looking straight at you. “Come on, let’s get over to your place so you can get dressed and I can take you for the most wonderful breakfast.”

“Okay.” Your voice is small, but you take the hand that Ransom offers and follow him out to his Beemer.

Ransom drops you at your apartment with a promise to be back in no more than 30 minutes. Once you get upstairs you breathe for a moment. Realizing your phone is almost dead you throw it on the charger, and go to look for an outfit for your breakfast date.

You realize that the feeling leading up to this date is so different from your “first date” with Andy. Ransom has clearly shown he’s interested in you, he’s not married, so why are you still thinking about Andy?

You pick out your favourite winter outfit, a brown wool skirt, black panty hose and black turtleneck. You do some light makeup, and feel happy with your look. Simple, but definitely date worthy. You decide to take your phone off of do not disturb and check the time. When you do you see there are a dozen notifications. All from Andy.

You decide to ignore them. He didn’t want you when you were available to him, then why would you want him now.

You grab your purse and stuff your phone in, before going downstairs to meet Ransom. Smiling as you see the Beemer parked right in front of your building waiting for you.

“You ready to go?” You ask as you slip into the passenger side of his car. He shoots you a cocky smirk and throws the car in gear.

“You look beautiful, Kitten.” He winks before pulling into traffic.

The ride to the restaurant is spent getting to know each other. Most of the things Ransom told you about himself you knew: his grandfathers empire, his mothers real estate business. What you didn’t know was he had been writing under a pen name for years, but of course wouldn’t tell you any of the books yet.

As Ransom guides you in, you realize this is one of the most expensive restaurants in town, and you stop short.

“Ransom, this is too much, I uh..” you trail off not quite sure how to tell him this is way out of your budget.

“Don’t worry Kitten, I chose the place so I’ll pay. Besides, I have been craving their French omelette.” He guides you over to your table where the hostess is waiting. She takes your drink orders, coffee for you, tea for Ransom, and leaves you two.

“So Kitten, tell me that movie you put on last night is not your favourite. Because if that’s the case I’m going to have to seriously re-evaluate you as dating material.” He gives you a sly wink as he puts his tea together.

The laugh that bubbles out of your throat is one of pure joy. “Of course not! But it’s definitely my go to if I just need to chill out, or do some house work.”

The date with Ransom is completely different from your date with Andy. There is a connection, beyond his good looks. Something inside is telling you to take this slow and see where it goes.

After you both finish your meals you decide to take a walk in the nearby park. Ransom surprises you by grabbing your hand as you both walk and talk. Once the silence settles between you both, you find yourself leaning onto his shoulder and just enjoying his presence. After a couple rounds of the park Ransom leads you back to his car.

“As much as I hate to say this Kitten, I have to take you home. Because if I don’t, I may just bring you back to my place and keep you forever.”

You smile as you drop into the passenger side. “Thank you Ransom, this has been the best first date I’ve ever been on.”

Once back at your apartment Ransom walks you to your door. “I know you want to take things slow, but how about a kiss to end our first date?”

You nod up at him and he slowly moves closer. You let your eyes flutter shut as he presses your lips together. There’s heat there, but something sweet and almost tender about the way his lips move against yours. By the time he draws away, you’re left breathless. He slowly slides his hands up and down your arms, “Please say we can do this again Kitten…”

The answer for you is simple, and you don’t have to think twice before you’re responding.

“Yes Ransom, I can’t wait to do this again.”

#like i’m gonna lose you #andy barber #andy barber x reader #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #chris evans

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