Because I haven't seen it done and I now have the power:

hope it’s ok for me to rant to you lmao but i feel like 99% of syscourse bloggers on both sides fundamentally understand how studies statistics diagnostic criteria etc work. and i’m not saying those things are perfect at all but if you’re going to get into discourse about it you should probably at least understand it on a basic level ykwim. especially studies because no one interprets them in the right way in syscourse, which is understandable because a lot of them have very academic style writing and formatting and can unfortunately just be generally inaccessible, but if you don’t know what they’re saying and why then don’t act like you do is my point. i see a lot of pro endos toss around the same few studies that they say prove endogenic or tulpa related plurality, but all of the ones i’ve read are just like, the bare bones of a study that are meant to be built off of, aka essentially just surveying a group of people and saying “yeah these people say they experience this.” on the anti endo side of things, i’ve noticed a lot of them throwing around brain scan and TOSD related studies saying they inherently disprove endogenic plurality, but those studies were also conducted with strictly DID and OSDD in mind and not endogenic plurality, which would probably have to be studied completely separately. also that goes for pro endos because a lot of them try to shoehorn endogenic plurality into the DIDOSDD criteria and shit when it’s inherently going to be different lol. anyways even then a few studies into it aren’t going to prove anything, it could probably take a decade to come to any sort of conclusive scientific agreement on endos, and even then studies and their findings are very very rarely, if ever, treated as irrefutable proof. and i think a lot of people need to realize that they themselves can spread misinformation and it’s not just ableist singlets that do that, which is kind of a whole can of worms entirely but just because you have DIDOSDD or you identity as an endogenic system that doesn’t mean you inherently know how to read scientific papers and aren’t immune to bias when reading them.

no no, you're onto something. i think few people in syscourse know how to use sources or even what they're saying as well. because a lot of these people aren't super educated on DID itself, haven't read a lot of books about it, and aren't familiar with academic language.

not that i'm by any means an expert, i've been stuck trying to read the same book for several months now because i've been struggling to find the motivation, and am trying to stick to my "one book at a time" method, (though, i'll probably just have to give up and read multiple books at once anyways lmao). but like jesus christ.

the reason i'm not really "anti endo" in that i disbelieve in endogenic plurality is precisely because there aren't any actual studies proving or disproving the experience wholly for me to base an opinion off of--though, the communities i'm generally pretty unhappy with, lol. all we have are barebones ideas and surveys, and then a bunch of poorly done speculation by that one tulpa who MUST be in wonderland if she thinks half the sources she's using actually say what she thinks they're saying, lmao.

it's also a huge reason i'm burnt out on syscourse and just don't really care to argue about whether endos exist or not. i don't care. live your life, dog.

it's as markiplier once said: you do you, and i'll do me, and we won't do each other. probably.

Had the grand misfortune of seeing your posts in the BTS tag and I am concerned with amount of rage you have. Yeah, it's normal and alright to have different opinions from others but the way how you state your opinions is dripping with hatred. Idk why you believe that every single Army stupidly ships them with each other - maybe some do it for fun but obviously the ones who are dead serious are delusional. Some "fans" do that with every single group - ship the member with each other as if they can't all just be friends. And why are you shitting on people for having BTS as a source of comfort or whatever? It's better than having Taylor Swift or Justin Beiber or anything other plain ass artist. At least BTS constantly speak up on Mental Health, actually care for their fanbase and provide a lot of content for them. Is that such a crime now???

“Grand Misfortune” that would make a great title for a book or a movie. It’d have to be series or franchise film. “Amount of rage” “dripping with hate” you’re really aiming for the punchlines here anon. Still, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before so check the #boring tag for more responses. I made it specifically for you anons who love grasping at straws.

“Why are you shitting on people for having BTS as a source of comfort or whatever”…. or whatever? You should’ve been more specific anon, but I’ll bite... hold on to your seats and don’t read the rest of this ask if you’re not interested in me shattering the delusional views of BTS or whatever sense of comfort you’re clutching on to.

Also, I hate repeating myself but it has to be said: I’m not here to say things people would like to hear or wouldn’t like to hear. I’m not an unpopular opinions blog. I’m simply here to state my opinions and you’re always free to disagree. Just don’t disagree so callously (especially in my replies or inbox) because I won’t spare your feelings. As for the whole “BTS is my comfort” thing. It’s weird. It’s weird to seek comfort in 7 men you don’t know who all likely have fabricated personas. What’s even weirder is being so invested in their lives. There’s a word for it you know: Parasocial Relationships. I know I just linked an article to Teen Vogue, but the writer did a decent job of highlighting both the positives and negatives. And I didn’t want to link a scientific journal and get too technical on you all.

“It’s better than having Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber”. Is it really though? You only think it’s better because you believe BTS share a “different”message (loving yourself, mental health, vaccinations lol). But what if I told you it was all fabricated? All company-driven narratives and the members are simply puppets on a string in the grand scheme of things? What if I told you everything they’ve ever said or done was for marketing purposes to grow the fanbase and increase company profits?

Okay maybe that’s a stretch, but you’d probably scream blasphemy. “You’re wrong. BigHit or BTS would never do that. They view us as people, not walking cash cows. BTS are genuine. They’re not like other kpop groups and BigHit isn’t like other kpop companies. They’re different. They’re not like other girls. The reason there’s new merch released every week is to provide fans comfort not to increase revenue streams. Bon Voyage and In The Soop are vacations for BTS, not to give ARMYs more ship content and more nonsense to fawn over. BTS care about me so shut your mouth”. Lol, sorry I was only stating some arguments I’ve heard. There’s more but I think that’s enough.

Did you know that back in 2017 BigHit conducted a marketing survey on the fandom to gain a better understating of which direction they should head in with BTS’s overall music and message? Hence, the sudden shift from the rag-tag hip-hop group of guys to the soft “love yourself, love myself” mental health crusade. It wasn’t a coincidence or a sign of “growth” on the members’ part. No. It was all a purposeful, aggressive marketing tactic to garner new fans and build closer bonds in this entire fan economy. And guess what? It worked. Kudos to Bang PD.

Bangtan Sonyeondan: here today, gone tomorrow. I just hope the most talented members are able to jump ship (go solo) before the whole thing actually sinks. A bottle of alcohol would provide you more comfort because at least that’s never going anywhere. Haha jk. All forms of addictions are concerning. Anyway, for the past year+ now HYBE has been investing in ways to ease the burden that BTS and ARMYs are their biggest cash cows (acquiring other groups/companies, real estate, tech acquisitions, all that good stuff). They want to ensure that even after BTS stops promoting the company will be here to stay. It’s not personal, it’s just business. HYBE was able to grow this big thanks to BTS. They were able to go public thanks to BTS. Bang PD is able to do everything he wants to do now all thanks to BTS. Yet what does he give them in return? Less than 2% of ownership in the company, zero official promotions for their mixtapes and solo releases, restricted schedules full of burnout, and most importantly he has created hierarchies between the members, a toxic environment within the fandom, allowing akgaes to run wild. Well at least BTS have earned lots of money from it, and pretty trophies, and chart positions, and get to do what they love (music). Also ARMY loves them and would consume anything with their faces on it, so I guess it’s a win-win….right?

This ask took a turn. I probably could’ve left things at “I think it’s weird to find comfort in 7 men who don’t even know you exist” but where’s the fun in that? :)

***For further insights this individual sums things up well and includes all the nitty-gritty details I was too lazy to add. This post too. Keep in mind I don’t know this person. I’ve never spoken to them in my life. I simply came across their posts on this public platform called Tumblr, so don’t bother sending your hate boners in their direction. xoxo.

Side note: I’m not saying the members don’t actually care about you loving yourself and your mental health. They’re good people. Or at least most of them are. But you’d be a fool to think their company (BigHit) hasn’t played a huge role in the direction of their music, messages to fans, media play, and basically every single piece of content they’ve released since the day of their debut.

Survey #274

“now i can hear the marching feet / they’re moving into the street”

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? I only have a black one. Is your dream job attainable? I mean define “dream job.” I’d ideally be a meerkat biologist if I was willing to live in Africa and could handle even mild heat, but I can’t/won’t do either of those, so it’s not obtainable to me. I’d also love to be a paleontologist if I could travel and handle heat once more, but again, I can’t. My only *attainable* dream job is being a photographer, which I am aiming for. I’d LIKE to focus on nature/wildlife photography, but that’s unlikely to be able to support me, so. Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? N/A Have you slept for longer than usual today? Yes, but only because of my nightmares. I tend to take at least two (though sometimes one) hour-long naps during the day because if I wake up once during the night, as I usually do, I’m fucked because I’m very likely to have an intense nightmare. It seems like the medicine I’m on wears off with consciousness, I guess. I only allow myself to sleep an hour at daytime because my mother has noticed if I have a nightmare, it’s usually no earlier than one hour into sleep. Even then I still have them occasionally. Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? Recorder in elementary school was necessary for whatever stupid reason, and then I played the flute for years. Out of school, I took guitar lessons for a while. I got semi-decent (at best I could do the intro to “Crazy Train” at normal speed, I think), but it didn’t last because it was annoying/time-consuming to build up the calluses that make playing painless, I was really bad at overthinking where my fingers were, and I just wasn’t invested quite enough. I’ll tell you, it gave me mad respect for guitarists, that shit isn’t easy by any means. Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? Yes, though it was brief. I was a kid (okay, pre-teen, w/e) still in my separation anxiety from Mom phase and it was literally because of me we had to go home. I still feel shitty about it, though no one seemed upset at me. How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? Who the fuck even knows anymore. Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? No; N/A; yes ultimately but no at the current moment because I have to keep watch over Mom. If you wear make-up, which brand of foundation/powder do you use? N/A Would you call yourself a “people” person? Nope. What is one change you need to make in your life this month? Just one??? What’s been tugging on your heart lately? My PTSD plus self-image has been very, very bad. What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? Mom had to clean up my cat’s projectile vomit even though she’s supposed to stay away from this kinda stuff through chemo. I literally cannot fucking touch vomit, never mind what came out of him that night. I felt like absolute fucking shit and I still do because WOW I’m a great adult right!! Do you have any physical traits that are bothering you lately? Like, everything. What kind of dog is your favorite? I’m biased to beagles. What was the last thing you received in the mail? A book. What is the last thing you wrote? Like, physically? My signature at the doctor’s office. Do you still care about the person you first kissed? Way fucking more than I should. Do you require a lot of private time? Definitely more than most people. Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? I haven’t listened to it in forever for ~reasons~, yet “The Mortician’s Daughter” is stuck in my head badly and really needs to fuck off. What was the last song you downloaded? I dunno, I went on a download binge a while back. Have you ever read a really funny book? I remember at least one. “Bite Me” by IDR-Who. Some vampire satire. Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? Never reached the point of being drunk. How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? fuckin YIKES I am NOT attractive rn go away Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? HAHA my mom has always had the decency to knock, not so much his mom a;lwkejrewoei but the answer’s still no. What electronics are in your room? (DVD player, CD player, etc) This laptop, my phone, a Nintendo DS, my iPod… Do you have a box anywhere with special items you'll to keep forever in it? Yes, actually. Grew up calling them “treasure boxes.” Do you have any pictures of yourself on your bedroom walls? Lol no, I’d definitely prefer to not see myself as much as I can. That sounds melodramatic, but I’m being serious. It either depresses me or makes me angry. Does your dad collect anything? The Cleveland Browns’ football team stuff, for one. Maybe Carolina Hurricane stuff, too? Idk. I don’t live with him and don’t go in his “man cave” at his house often ha ha. What's better, a desktop or laptop? Explain. A laptop. Portable; that’s all the explanation ya really need. Do your parents still hide chocolate eggs around on Easter for you? Nah. What do you typically do on Easter Day? We go to my sister’s house to watch the kids do their egg hunting and open their gifts, then we usually go to Ashley’s in-laws’ for dinner. Is there anyone you literally need to exist? Apparently not. Thought so. Never let yourself into that state of mind. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand-written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? Oh, a hand-written poem would wreck me, yeesh. Or a drawing. But any would be very sweet. Do you remember why you made the last mistake you did? I don’t know the most recent mistake, but probably because I’m just in general a terrified person who second-guesses or overanalyzes everything. Did you check how many calories the last thing you ate had? Yes. I’m back on my calorie-counting obsession again. Are your nails long or short? Short, always. I can’t keep them long. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Just the ordinary chocolate chip is fine. What was the last compliment you received? I don’t know. Who will be the next person you kiss? I normally delete this question because the answer should be so obvious, but I feel like just pointing it out that no one fucking knows who they’re gonna kiss next. It’s a dangerous mindset. Don’t make assumptions about what you’ll have even tomorrow. Have you ever made your own icon? Yeah, on many sites. They’re just about always just edits, though, not truly original work. What color is your computer mouse? It’s black. Have you ever been sung to on your birthday in a restaurant? Yes. Do you like black olives? I don’t like olives period. Do you actually think there will be a zombie apocolypse? Personally, no. I do think it’s scientifically possible, we already see this in insects, but I just don’t imagine it happening to humans before we’re our own downfall. Do you like the person you’ve become over the past years? Fuck no. Have you ever gone to church just to get a significant other? … No…? Have you ever punched a wall out of complete anger? No, that shit is terrifying. Are you really ticklish? YES don’t fucking touch me. How do you decide what you're going to eat each day? I just follow what I’m craving that day. How are you similar to your siblings? Different? Compared to Ashley and Nicole at least, I can’t think of any real similarities off the top of my head. They’re intelligent, motivated, outgoing, successful, yada yada, then there’s me. What's your favorite type of non-fiction literature? Autobiographies by people I’m actually interested in. Do you believe in souls? Soulmates? Souls, absolutely. Soulmates, no. It’s fairytale ideation to think your soul has a perfect match with another, hate to break it to ya. Favorite soundtrack? BITCH don’t make me choose between Shadow of the Colossus and Silent Hill 2. Fucking masterpieces. Pianos or guitars? *shrugs* Depends on the music and my mood. Did an animal ever bite you? Never seriously. How many languages do you speak? Only English fluently. I’m poor at German by now. Wiggly worms or bumble bees? Worms gross me out, bees are Good Boys. Religion? I don’t really identify with any. I just believe there’s some form of ultimate intelligence and essences beyond just the body, and that’s all I even pretend to know. Fog, thunder, or rain? Fog gives me that Silent Hill Vibe *Italian kiss* What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? The way I treated Jason after the breakup. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? Damn pollen. Do you know anyone else with your name? Yeah. What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? Viruses or botflies. Where are you tempted to move to sometimes? I very legitimately want to live in Canada by now, but I won’t because I’m not moving that far from family. Who seems like they have the perfect life? I try not to make that assumption of anyone. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? Does taking pictures of roadkill count???? lmao probably Do you think it would be a good idea to post photos of negative moments as well as positive? Well… I guess it depends. Like ngl, the pictures some people share of them having panic attacks to just show how fucking real they are definitely touch you, as do those depicting poverty, etc., BUT I really do think there are limits and also differences in motivations. What time zone are you in? EST. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? Wow, speaking of. No. ^Why or why not? I am an UGLY cry-er, my man. But I also just don’t want people to see that, and it’s definitely not on my mind to take a picture during a breakdown. What was the last thing you cried about? My life. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yes. Where do you buy calendars from? I don’t. Do you shop at the dollar store often? Not *often*, but we’ll stop by for a snack or something sometimes. Are you following in the career path of any family members? No. Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? I guess in some ways. Who was that best friend you ever had? Sara. What color is your laptop? Black. What are five careers you think you’d be good at? My work history has shown I can’t do shit right. Are you thriving in your life right now? lmao no one is in 2020. Who do you have moral support from? My family, doctor, and a few friends. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? The same as above. Do you have people in your family who want you dead? Wow, I hope not. Do you have a walk-in closet? No, but my room at the new house will. :’) Not that I need one, it’s just pretty cool. How do you feel about people like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos having so much power and control in the world? Do you believe that any one person should have so much power? Let’s be real, in our current world, money is power, and no one should have that much control of the world, especially if your intentions are bad. NOW I don’t know jack shit about any of those are far as morals go, but just saying. It’s dangerous. Has your anxiety alone ever prevented you from doing something you wanted to do? This is ACTUALLY the story of my fucking life. Do you enjoy reading stories and novels that are heavily stylistic, poetic, or unconventional or do you prefer your prose to follow a familiar grammatical structure? Okay, I LOVE those, like Johnny Got His Gun and The Handmaid’s Tale that’s kinda like, run-on writing. Just letting a train of thought go. Those are two of the most powerful books I’ve ever read and they’re both written in a unique fashion. Have you ever fallen for any sort of Internet-based hoax? (e.g., fake celeb death, satire news article…) I’m sure at some point, especially as a kid. Do you tend to read reviews before you watch a movie or read a book? What do you hope to get out of doing so? NO. I don’t wanna have any precognition. When you go to a concert, how far must you travel for the most usual venues you visit? Most are on the other end of the state, and NC is long, so. We’re lucky if they come to Raleigh. Do you rent movies frequently? I never do, really. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Take pictures or swim. What’s your favorite meal to cook? I don’t cook. What movie has been taken WAY too far, as far as sequels go? Oh, I’m sure there are some, but none immediately come to mind. I’m not that into movies. Do you refuse to eat certain foods because of what they look like? Yes. I am VERY poor at getting past how a food looks. What are you listening to? NSP’s cover of “Don’t Fear The Reaper.” It’s fuckin gorgeous. How much homework do you have tonight? N/A Are you wearing any bracelets? Yes; one that Sara got me as well as an ovarian cancer awareness one. What's physically wrong with you right now? JINKIES I just feel really lethargic like always. Do you take any medications daily? Ha ha thanks for actually reminding me I need to now. When was the last time you moved to a new house? Two years ago, and now we’ll be moving to a much better place by the end of this month/early September, finally. When it comes to relationships, are you the jealous type? Nah. Which gift cards do you have in your wallet? Idk actually. It’s not like I use it a lot. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? A few nights ago. I was extremely hot, dizzy, and pretty nauseated. I was fine, though. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? I pretty much never wear makeup so have never really had a reason to reapply it. I’m definitely not wearing any now. Does your kitchen have a theme? No. Do you like ice cream sandwiches? GIRL yes. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. They’re more comfortable imo but more importantly block out exterior noise very well. Are you a fan of any independent films? ngl, I don’t know exactly what that is and I don’t feel like looking it up. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I very genuinely think some of the RP stories I’ve taken part in are novel-worthy, yes. I wanted to make them books when I was younger, but now I no longer do mainly because there are areas that are just way too fucking dark that I don’t wanna put out there but play massive parts in the stories, so like… Do you regularly watch the news? I never do. Facebook is my “news” source lmao. Who was the last person you video-chatted with? I don’t remember for sure, maybe some doctor? What do you want the theme of your wedding to be? I don’t really think about this, seeing as my mind has changed enough, and it also depends on what my partner wants, too. Have you ever been caught passing a note in class? Noooo, I absolutely hated passing notes because I was genuinely a good student. I only did so very, very rarely if another friend started it. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. It’s a wonderful mix. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? Definitely not. Do you have any clothes with spikes/studs on them? I have a spiked choker, and I might still have gloves with studs? Can you remember what you last clapped for? My mom’s birthday! :’) Have you ever given a pet to someone else? Yes, with cats; we had to do that quite often when I was a kid because we had so many cats, none which we could afford to fix. Then we’ve done it with two dogs we just couldn’t handle. Oh yeah, I gave my iguana away too because he was too high maintenance for me, but also because he DESPERATELY needed a much bigger terrarium, which we couldn’t afford. I absolutely could not watch him in that tiny tank. I miss him a LOT, but he went to a wonderful home! The lady who adopted him sent me pictures upon pictures months after taking him in. Do you know anyone named Walter? No. What's your least favorite ice-cream flavor? Strawberry is fucking disgusting. And that’s coming from someone whose favorite fruit is strawberries. What's your least favorite song by your favorite artist? I’m not sure. There’s a handful that just don’t grab my attention that I don’t even remember them. What was the last good news you heard? I can FINALLY talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow. Who’s your favorite singer of all time? Probably Freddie Mercury. What airline do you fly most? Idk, I don’t really pay attention. I haven’t flown very often though anyway. Do you have a dog that is destructive? I don’t have a dog. What’s one TV series you’ve seen every episode of? Meerkat Manor is the most obvious, ha ha. Maaaaany times. Assuming you have Facebook, who last left you a wallpost? Probably my friend Sammi. Assuming you have hair, how are you wearing it today? It’s too short for me to “wear” it any particular way. It’s just… there lmao. Assuming you're not homeless, what kind of living arrangements do you have? I live with my mom in a house she’s renting. Have you or have you ever considered messing around with the same sex? I’m bisexual so you can guess I’m not opposed to it. Are you particular about any brands of food you will or will not eat? Are there any restaurants you refuse to go to? Brands, no. I don’t eat Chick-fil-a because they’re run by fucking homophobic bigots that monetarily support conversion therapy and other anti-LGBT projects. I’m not giving you any fucking money. What was the most current dream you can remember about? Do you generally dream every night, or hardly at all? It was actually last night, when I dreamed about accidentally running into Jason where I last knew he worked, and he was really hostile. If I don’t take my medicine, I always have nightmares when I sleep.

384.

Do you only buy songs on iTunes when you can't find them otherwise? >> I never buy songs on iTunes.

Do you like bacon? >> I do.

Have you ever seen a snuff film? >> No.

Do you like The Naked and Famous? >> I only know one song by them, Young Blood, which I do like.

How do you feel about Tom Cruise? >> I have zero feelings about Tom Cruise.

Do you have a defined side fringe? >> No.

What's your favorite Adam Sandler movie? >> I don’t have one, I don’t really enjoy the kind of movies he tends to star in.

Can you tie a tie? >> I know I could once, but I might have forgotten because I rarely do it.

Have you ever had a treehouse? >> No.

Do you like riding over massive bridges? >> Yep.

Do you speed up or slow down on yellow lights? >> ---

How many showers do you take in a day? >> One.

Do you like taking bubble baths? >> No.

What's your favorite candle scent? >> I don’t have one, I usually burn incense.

What do you do at night when you can't sleep? >> Read, usually.

Have you ever screamed as loud as you could without holding back? >> No.

Do you know anyone who attends an online high school? >> No.

Do you know who Chip Coffey is? (: >> No.

Have you ever had a completely backwards sleeping schedule? >> Not completely, no.

Do you have housekeepers? >> No.

Have you ever had La Choy noodles? >> I’m pretty sure I have.

Do you own an i <3 boobies! bracelet? >> No.

Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough? >> Yeah.

Have you ever stepped on a jellyfish? >> No.

What do you think is the meaning of life? Do you believe there is one? >> No, I don’t believe there is one. I believe meaning is an individual thing -- you can even choose to live a perfectly good life without bothering with the concept of “meaning” at all.

Have you ever lost anything seriously expensive? >> When I was a child, probably.

Would you rather be on The Real World or Big Brother? >> I’d rather not be on a reality show at all.

Have you ever lost something that didn't belong to you? >> No.

Does it bother you if your hair/bangs are in your face? >> It would if I had that kind of hairstyle.

Favorite Disney movie? >> Lilo and Stitch.

Have you seen The Last Exorcism? >> Yeah.

Do you believe people can become possessed, or do they just think they are? >> I don’t know either way. I do find the concept interesting, though.

Has anything ever happened to you that you couldn't explain? >> No, my explanation just wasn’t very scientific.

What was the last thing you did for yourself? >> Er... whatever I did last, lol.

Are you a Twilight fan? >> No.

Are you a scenester? >> No.

Maybe a hipster? >> No.

Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? >> I don’t.

What color are the majority of your hoodies/sweatshirts? >> Black.

Do you own anything older than 50 years old? >> No.

Equestrian or nautical decor? >> Neither, thanks.

Do you like iPod shuffle surveys? >> No.

Have you ever been called a prep? Are you a prep? >> I’m not a prep, nor have I ever been called one.

What's your craze as of now? >> I don’t know.

Have you ever been kicked out of Wal-Mart? >> No.

Have you ever been kicked out of anywhere? >> Yeah, I was banned from a bar once and I’ve been kicked out of shelters.

Would you rather date someone who was way too skinny or overweight? >> ---

Do you like country music? >> Some, sure.

Why is country music so vastly hated? ): >> I don’t know about how much country music was hated before the turn of the century, but I know post-9/11 country music took a serious turn for the artless and cloyingly-patriotic, which is largely the reason why it’s not taken anywhere near as seriously as it used to be. It’s just... not good. But country artists with any kind of artistic integrity still do fine.

Have you heard of Lucero? >> That sounds familiar, but I don’t remember what it is.

Have you ever sold someone oregano under the pretense of it being weed? >> No.

Have you ever starved yourself? >> No.

Have you ever heard of smoking nutmeg? >> Yeah.

Should I buy Pokemon black or white? >> I don’t know, I don’t play Pokémon.

What tattoos do you want/have? >> I have three tattoos and I want a million.

Have you ever been to New Orleans? >> Sure.

Were you affected at all by Katrina? >> I wasn’t; all my knowledge of New Orleans is post-Katrina.

Why do they name hurricanes? >> I don’t remember.

Do you know a Caleb? >> No.

Are you friends with a Courtney? >> No.

Are you related to a Roger? >> No.

Have you ever felt obligated to care for someone when you really didn't? >> Maybe, but I’m pretty sure I couldn’t keep it up for long.

Did you watch My Little Pony when you were a kid? >> No.

Is there anything/one that can make you instantly nostalgic? >> I mean, probably, but I can’t think of anything right now.

Do you own a pair of Chuck Taylors? >> No, they hurt my feet.

Do you listen to Allstar Weekend? >> No.

What kind of camera(s) do you have? What kind of camera(s) do you want? >> I don’t want any camera, my phone’s camera is fine.

When was the last time you wore a dress? >> I don’t remember.

Best hamburger you've ever had was from where? >> I couldn’t say. Most burgers I’ve had were at least decent.

What are your favorite bands? >> Too many to name.

Do dogs love their owners or do they just act like they do because it benefits them? >> Little of Column A, little of Column B...? I have no idea, I’m not a dog.

349.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 2 101. What does happiness/joy feel like physically? i guess sometimes i get a jolt of adrenaline. 102. List five people you love starting with the one you love the absolute most. this is hard. i love my boyfriend and family pretty equally but in different ways. 103. How many movies have you gone to see this month? none. i hardly go to the movies anymore. 104. If you could have 3 wishes...but none of them could be for yourself, what would you wish for? good health for my parents, prosperity and success for my boyfriend and a happy life for my sister.  105. In what ways do you relax and de-stress when you are really tense? i’ll binge watch a show, read, cook or nap.

106. How much money would it take to get you to drive to school naked in the springtime and get out of the car? a million at least. 107. Have you ever killed an animal? nah, just the occasional insect and stuff. 108. Have you ever lost someone close to you? yes. 109. What do you think of cloning? pretty crazy. it’s a weird advancement of technology. 110. Do you read or watch TV more often? watch tv shows. 111. With all this talk of terrorism going around are you willing to sacrifice rights and freedoms for increased safety? it depends what those rights are. but if it’s for the good of the community then whatever. 112. What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden if you caught him alive? he’s dead. 113. Have you ever named an individual part of your body? nope. 114. Have you ever been on the radio or on TV? i’ve been on tv, but the back of my head during a jimmy kimmel show lol. 115. Have you ever won a lottery, or sweepstakes? nope, never played the lotto. i should try. 116. Have you ever won a contest or competition? yes. 117. Do you like to watch The Joy of Painting show with Bob Ross (check out this link if you don't know who he is. Also please note me if you notice the link is broken) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ross_(painter)? cbf. 118. Do you know what your grandparents and your great grand parents did for a living? my grandparents on my mother’s side owned a general store, my grandmother from my dad’s side was a teacher, idk what my grandfather did tbh lol. 119. Is there anything really interesting in your family history? probably, i just don’t know enough about it. 120. Is there anyone you trust completely? yes. 121. Have you ever lost someone without having the chance to say goodbye? yes :( 122. How do you feel about women in politics? pretty good, we need more of them. 123. Would you rather have an indoor Jacuzzi or an outdoor pool? outdoor pool. 124. What things are you interested in that you study or read about on your own? anything on reddit. there’s tons of shit to delve into there. 125. Would you consider yourself to be intelligent? i’d like to think so but i’m probably just average. 126. Would you consider yourself to be wise? hopefully. 127. Have you ever given or received a lap dance? nope. 128. Have you ever spoken to a homeless person? yes. 129. Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring? hell no. 130. If you could add 70 years to your life but only by making some random person die 70 years sooner would you? nah. i wouldn’t stop thinking about it. 131. Can you finish any of the following lyrics? A: Nothing to kill or die for... B: Late comings with the late comin' stretcher... C: I could make a film and make you my star... i don’t think i know any of these. 132. Were you ever with someone while they died? no. 133. Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star? world political leader. 134. Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote? yes. 135. Have you ever sent someone a surprise though the mail? hmm nope. 136. Are you looking forward to any concerts right now? yes! plenty. 137. Of all animated movies, which is the best one you've ever seen? i loved aladdin the most. 138. What are the best bands or songs to listen to while driving? my mood changed everyday. 139. What do you think is the most amazing thing that anyone has ever accomplished? i couldn’t choose just one.  140. What could a member of the opposite sex do to impress you? sing me a song. 141. About how many emails do you get a day? How many of those emails are junk mail? How many of them are forwards? about ten and they’re usually all junk. 142. What's your favorite thing to do online besides write in your diary and hang out at this site? youtube and netflix. 143. Do you believe Kurt Cobain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain) killed himself or was it a conspiracy? no idea. 144. Have you ever though about hitchhiking across the country? neverrrr. 145. Who would you bring with you on this kind of a road trip? - 146. Of the following, which word best describes you: accurate, bold, charming, dependable dependable. 147. If you are single, at about what age do you think you will be ready to settle down and get married? If you are married, how old were you at the time? i’m not single or married. 148. Do you often wonder, when you say goodbye to people, if it is the last time you will ever see them? nope, because it’s not my intention. i’m assuming i’ll see them again. 149. What movie are you most looking forward to seeing when it comes out? none as of yet. 150. What is your quest? lol idk. 151. What is louder and more annoying: 200 adults talking or one four-year-old screaming?  200 adults talking.

152. Do you believe the stories about planes, boats and people mysteriously disappearing into the Bermuda triangle? haha idk. i don’t know much about it scientific-wise. 153. Who are you the most jealous of? no one. 154. What is the happiest way you can start your day? even though i don’t do it that often, probably go to the gym. 155. Do you ever have moments where you feel like everything is all right in the world? yes. 156. Who thinks that you are offensive? probably a lot of people who aren’t my friends lol. 157. If you had to teach a class in something, what would you be able to teach people? how to do shit on the computer lol. 158. Have you ever had a spiritual experience (an experience that cannot be explained by science)? nah. 159. Do you believe that this experience was truly mystical or do you think there is some scientific explanation for it, only you don't know what it is? - 160. Do you get offended easily? not if i’m with my friends. if random people say the wrong thing i get pretty offended. 161. Would you still love and stay with your signifigant other if he or she had to have a breast or testicle removed? yes of course. 162. Do you believe in fate or free will? free will. i think we’re responsible for our actions and the consequences. 163. Do you believe that only boring people get bored? haha possibly. 164. Can life change or are we all stuck in vain? life can change. 165. What changes are you afraid of? idk. 166. Are you a day person or nocturnal? i’m nocturnal. 167. What one CD could you listen to for an entire week (no mixed CD’s, it must be an album)? haha idk. someone’s greatest hits i guess. 168. Which is worse, working in retail, food service, or an office? food service. i’ve done it and it sucks. 169. What's the coolest job you ever had? croupier. 170. What is one central idea that your thoughts seem to come back to? wtf i’m doing with my life. 171. Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress? yes as a kid. i didn’t know how to act though. 172. If you had the power to control one person and make this person do anything you wanted for a whole day, who would you pick and what would they do? i wouldn’t do that to anyone. 173. What star sign are you and what is your sign like? sagittarius. apparently they’re known for being adventurous and loving the outdoors. i’m definitely not that. 174. Did the Blair Witch Project scare you? it did until i found out it was fake. 175. Are you in constant fear of death? sorta but it’s not something i think about a lot. 176. Does fear of death keep you from building a life? no. 177. Do you like all your movies to be in wide-screen? it doesn’t matter to me. 178. Are you a fan of any comic books? nah. i used to read the simpsons ones when they were out. 179. At what age did you attend your first funeral? 7. 180. What do you smell like (lotion, cologne, sweat)? lotion. 181. What are your greatest sources for wisdom? the internet haha. 182. When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from? i honestly don’t remember. i think i heard a lot of ‘you’ll learn about it when you’re older’ 183. What is your favorite band? i don’t have one. 184. What's the best cheesy 80's song? girls just wanna have fun. 185. What's the best kind of movie to see on a date? something funny or scary. 186. Do you like to sit in the front, middle or back of the Movie Theater? middle or back. 187. Have you ever been inside an abandoned building? not that i know of. 188. Under what circumstances would you agree to work for free? if it’s for a good cause. 189. Candles or strobe lights? candles. 190. Do you think the Lord of the Rings movies are true to the books or did Hollywood change the story too much? i haven’t read/watched it. 191. When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat? nothing unless they’re doing something that’s caught my attention. 192. Is it natural for human beings to fear and distrust each other, or is it cultural? natural. 193. What do you really want to buy? nothing. more clothes i guess. 194. You have to choose. Would you be happier marrying someone rich for their money or living in the streets and subway tunnels with someone you love? haha shit. living poorly with someone i love. i think we could probably get through it together. 195. If someone wanted to understand you what book could they read that would help? idk none. 196. Do you think it’s odd that Americans have freedom of religion and yet call themselves 'one nation under god'? hmm they didn’t specify which god tough. 197. In what sense are you a minority? my ethnicity. 198. Are you anti social? sometimes. 199. Do you photograph well? as in like my face? not really. 200. Do you think that human beings would survivor through a nuclear winter? if they knew it was happening well in advanced, then yeah probably.

43. ...'cause it was Bobbi with an 'i'...he isn't just one of the guys; in his pink party dress, you would never guess, he benches 335!

Have you ever wished you could start life over?: Because being an infant sounds like a jolly good time? No thanks.

…or at least go back in time?: Yeahhhh – about that…I’m not fucking with different timelines and all the intricate time-travel etiquette.

When did you last eat pizza?: Tonight actually.

Do you prefer to hear the painful truth or a beautiful lie?: Not sure it makes a difference. In the end, it only matters how I see or perceive it to be. No definite way to known for certain whether people are being honest or not. You either chose to believe they are, or not.

How many exes do you have?: “Official” exes? 4, I think?

Have you ever known a pathological or habitual liar?: Absolutely.

Do you enjoy writing?: Love it.

If so, do you prefer writing lyrics, poetry, stories or something else?: Essays, free verse poetry, quotes, quirky self-help journals, lists, song parodies, etc…

Are you angry right now?: Mildly irritated. I keep hitting typos and I am just angry to have to keep correcting stupid shit.

Have you ever punched a wall?: Don’t think so.

Have you ever lived in a motel/hotel?: Yeah for like half a year.

Do you think you would enjoy running your own business?: Hell fucking no. I have very poor follow through and virtually zero concept of or desire to properly manage finances.

What’s the average rent for a 1 bedroom apartment in your area?: I’m gonna guess like 650-800$

Do you think rentals are too expensive where you live?: We are renting from friends. Doesn’t count.

Have you ever changed a car’s alternator?: Absolutely no idea what the fuck an alternator is.

Do you have Netflix?: The couple we live with does, but personally, no I don’t.

What about Hulu Plus?: Brandon does.

Do you have an Xbox Live gold membership?: Used to.

Would you rather master Guitar Hero or a real guitar?: I don’t necessarily want to *master* either. Neither are really a skill I could myself pursuing to any proficient degree.

Have you ever used an electric drill?: Back when I helped with drama club sets in high school.

Do you know anyone who’s had brain surgery?: Not that I’m aware of.

Do you like playing FPS (First Person Shooter) video games?: I got somewhat into CoD BlackOps.

Have you ever heard of, the band, Porcupine Tree?: Errr, no.

Would you rather wear boots or sandals?: Boots!

Have you ever rescued a lost dog?: B. sorta found our dog now that way. He escaped a neighborhood yard at a friends place and the lady was trying to get rid of him because her son was throwing out some hard-core Of Mice and Men vibes.

Have you ever adopted a dog from a shelter?: Yeah – my Deandra. R.I.P.

Have you ever cleaned a cat litter box?: Yeah.

Have you ever used a machete?: I own one…never had an occasion in which I needed to use it though.

What’s the last gift you gave to someone?: A weird drink coozie thing.

What’s the last gift you received?: A gift card to Carrabba’s.

When was the last time you rode a bicycle?: Last summer when I lived at the motel I think?

Do 2 wrongs ever make a right?: Right and wrong are up for interpretation.

Are you a vengeful person at all?: No. Vengeance to me is going on with life unscathed by and unfixed upon the malicious actions of other people. Seeking vengeance literally just gives them the satisfaction of knowing they got under your skin. Which was btw, exactly what they were hoping to do.

Do you have a good memory or do you forget things often?: Hit or miss. Going to lean more towards forget things, though. I tend to live in my own little world and if I don’t use the information frequently, it quickly becomes irrelevant and eventually forgotten.

Do you know anyone who suffers from chronic fatigue?: Probably.

Have you ever felt like you “lost yourself”?: I think for the first 29-30 years of my life, I didn’t even have a self to lose.

Do you judge people based on their weight?: No, what would that accomplish?

Do you know anyone who’s hardworking but still struggles to make ends meet?: I feel like I qualify; I work my ass off but have 0 priorities or sense of financial self-discipline.

What do you think is more harmful? Cigarettes or Marijuana?: Ummm, cigarettes are widely-accepted and scientifically determined to be absolutely more harmful than weed. Regardless, I smoke both.

Is your air conditioner on?: Either that or the fan. Not sure what the friends who own the house have it set on.

Is your heater on?: The fucks wrong with you. It’s May in Southern Arizona.

Do you enjoy going on walks?: Explicitly the manageably short, non-strenuous variety.

Do you like having picnics?: They're okay. Eating inside is fine, too.

Have you ever had a panic/anxiety attack?: Yessum.

Have you ever dated a co-worker?: “Dated” isn’t exactly the word I’d go with. But I’ve done the work-mance scene. Almost always culminates to awkwardness.

Do you still buy CDs or do you just download music?:Still buy CDs. The car we just bought was old enough to still have a CD player in it.

Do you like iPod/song shuffle surveys?: Not really.

Do you suffer from social anxiety?: Not really anymore. I mean, once I realized it was all in my head, it sort of depleted the level of social anxiety noticeably.

Are you more introverted or extroverted : Introverted. But I know how to appear extroverted in situations like talking to my tables at work.

Do you enjoy organizing things?: There is no consistency when it comes to what kinda shit I like to organize, nor how frequently I do it.

Have you ever watched “Mystery Science Theater 3000”?: I have not

Do you know anyone who plays Tuba?: Random. Nope.

If you had to get a tattoo of someone’s name, who’s name would you choose?: Like maybe a pet or a family member. Or my own name.

Have you ever been to Catalina Island?: No idea where that even is.

Would you rather swim with dolphins or sharks?: Yo, what sick fucker voluntarily chooses the sharks? Is that even a serious inquiry?

Do you know how to change a vacuum belt?: You buy a new vacuum or you simply never vacuum again.

Have you ever given a business a bad online review?: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

Do you know anyone who used to be a stripper (that you know of)?: Yeah, one of the bartenders I knew from the dive bar.

Do you know anyone who’s a hoarder?: I know people with tendencies, but not full-blown hoarder-ness.

Do you know who Maynard James Keenan is?: Ummmm, no…sorry.

Do you take responsibility for your actions or tend to make excuses?: I’ve gotten better at understanding what taking responsibility for myself actually means.

Have you ever used the shower at a gym?: . Yeah.

Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship: Trapped is an understatement.

Do you believe that “love is blind”?: I believe love is almost always something else in disguise…and that it all generally relates back to the image we want to create and embody. I swear I’m not being cynical, I'm just saying “Love” will always be too subjective and misinterpreted to come to any finite opinion about it.

What’s the furthest distance you’ve ridden a bicycle?. Like 7 miles? Could be more or less. I’m a terrible judge of time and distance.

Do you rate every survey you fill out, here on bzoink?: Don’t know what Bzoink is.

Do you know anyone who gets way too angry when playing video games?: Not currently.

Do YOU get too angry when playing video games?: It’s been awhile, but I usually don’t get raging mad – I was likely never expecting to do all that well in the first place.

Do you like to sing karaoke?: I’d rather sing along to the radio/iTunes. I need to hear the artist singing in order to match pitch and sound half decent.

Do you know what micro-expressions are?:. Not remotely.

If so, do you have a talent for seeing/reading them?: Assumingly not.

Have you ever had insomnia?: Medically, no. I don’t think it counts if you just do a lot of uppers and electively decide not to sleep.

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been awake?: Like, 6 days. It gets trippy. I am in no way suggesting anyone try it.

Have you ever been in denial?: Lol it’d be obvious denial to deny being in denial.

Have you ever been in The Nile?: Sure. King Tut and I go Lazy-River-Drunk-Tubing together.

Have you recently used a nail file?: I honestly don’t think I’ve ever used one.

Do you know anyone named Kyle?: Yeah. This kid I went to HS with. We talked for a bit like a year ago and got Margaritas once.

Is it annoying that I started rhyming my questions?: Nope. You do you, bro!

Got Tagged!! ^^

Get to Know Me Tag

tagged by @y-u-t-o

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you are finished tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!!

1: Are you named after someone? Not really?It is a traditional name. My name is Nai and it’s a Mien name. It basically means second child - second born.

2: When is the last time you cried? I believe last week. It was rough but i’m doing better now.

3: Do you like your handwriting? uhhh, it’s a love-hate relationship. Some days it looks beautiful and then some its so ugly I could barely read it. I guess that’s what makes it unique.

4: What is your favorite lunch meat?hmmmmmm, I usually get oven roasted honey Turkey but some days I like meh some salami too.

5: Do you have kids? Nahhhhh. Well, I have 2 baby siblings that are 4 and 8 years old that I’ve basically raised.

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you?oh heck yassss. I mean, I already talk to myself. Lol.

7: Do you use sarcasm?lordt yes. Half mah sentences are sarcasm. But there are days I try not to be but like, it just come out. Lol

8: Do you still have your tonsils?yes I do. 

9: Would you bungee jump?honestly, heck yasss but I know deep down when I get up there I’m gonna back the hell out. Lol 

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal?I’ve always loved frosted flakes but it got too sugary for meh so I eat vanilla bunch

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?nah, too lazy. Easy slip in and out. The trick is, don’t tie it too tight.

12: Do you think you’re a strong person?honestly yes. I am super blunt and I don’t let people walk over meh. But there are some days where I’m super vulnerable and would just lay in bed all day.

13: What is your favorite ice cream flavor?I love fruity pops. But mah faves are mango and coconut.

14: What is the first thing you notice about people?their face. Lol. Like, their facial features. It helps meh remember the people. 

15: Red or pink? Nah, not mah type of colors. Lol. I like darker colors. 

16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? I love all of meh. I’m an obese woman but I love everything bout meh.

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now?sweat pants. Lol. Just wearing mah Finding Dory socks.

18: What was the last thing you ate? A bowl of hot fries (the chips) delicious.

19: What are you listening to right now? B2st - Lightless (unplugged ver)

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Blue-green. Mah fave color

21: Favorite smell? Peach belini. I have a sensitivity to smell but peach belini seems to be the scent that I don’t react to.

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? The one who gave meh lifeu. Me mother~ 

23: Favorite sport to watch? I don’t really watch sports but mah all time fave sports anime is prince of tennis and I’ve been hooked on haiikyuu!!

24: Hair color? Dark brown/black (dem asian hair) 

25: Eye color? Dark brown (dem asian eyes)

26: Do you wear contacts?hell nah. I have glasses tho. I don’t like the feeling of touching mah eyes. 27: Favorite food to eat? I have 2 faves. Coconut jelly that mah aunt’s make and ginger soup w/ pork meat that mah mother makes. Delicious.

28: Scary movies or comedy? Both?? I always end up making fun of the scary movie and so it becomes scomedy. Lol

29: Last movie you watched? I just recently watched, Alice Through the Looking Glass. It was alright.

30: What color of shirt are you wearing? Black.

31: Summer or winter? How bout fall?? Lol. I don’t do summer nor winter. I like the middle ground.  

32: Hugs or kisses? Hugs! I even give free hugs!! It’s scientifically proven that hugs makes you feel better.

33: What book are you currently reading? Winter by Marissa Meyer

34: Who do you miss right now? I was missing mah baby (brother) but he’s home now.

35: What is on your mouse pad? Nothing. Lol

36: What is the last TV program you watched? I don’t have cable and I watch kdrama and what’s on netflix. I just finished “W” and currently watching “Santa Clarita Diet”

37: What is the best sound? Children laughing. It’s a really beautiful and adorable sound.

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? Neither. I don’t listen to them.

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? From one coast to the other. Lol

40: Do you have a special talent? Napping. J.k. taking care of kids. I simply love children.

41: Where were you born? Oakland, California.

42: People you expect to participate in this: I don’t have much but these people are the ones I’ve been talking to and they’re just so lovely: @andiimsum, @seoeunkwang and @imperialidiot?

@2manyoppas

New followers~ this is me!

Tagged by @miniminsu Thank you!!!!!! Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you are finished you have to tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!! 1: Are you named after someone : Yeah I'm named after my mom's brother who died cause he had a seizure brain thing?? I don't know what it was called but it was one of those brain illnesses and he had it super bad. He died while driving. I've never met him cause he died way before I was born but he sounds like he was funny and supportive but also like a normal brother. 2. When is the last time you cried : This morning when I was reading "Things I love about B.A.P -member- cause I love them so much and they deserve so much and I hope they will keep going and I'm worried about the world tour and I can't afford to go even tho it would be like a 16/18 hour drive to Dallas, Texas and I have family there. 3. Do you like your handwriting : Yeah kinda! I like it but handwriting hurts my hand and shoulders a lot so that's a problem... 4. What is your favorite lunch to eat : oh I don't know... probably hamburgers I love them so much! 5. Do you have kids : No biological ones but I have two cats and I've adopted a ton. 6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you : I feel like I would be... but it also depends on who I am as another person??? 7. Do you use sarcasm : What???? Pshhhh nooooooooo (yes all the time) 8. Do you still have your tonsils : Yeah~ 9. Would you bungee jump : I probably wouldn't. Falling is like one of my nightmare things... but if I was dying I would probably 10. What is your favorite kind of cereal : Cinnamon Toast Crunch 100% 11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off : No I don't untie my shoes I tie them up so I can slip them on and off and they're still wearable. 12: Do you think you’re a strong person : Yeah. I've been through so much shit and all I have are these personality and mental disorders to show for it! 
13: What is your favorite ice cream flavour : all of them. Especially chocolate ones. 14: What is the first thing you notice about people : Well scientifically its eyes and I also like looking at other people's eyes cause I feel like I can read them better through the eyes?? 15: Red or pink : Pink!!!!! I love pink!!!!!! 16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself : Face???? And joints... and brain??? Like I have joint problems that MIGHT/probably is a rare form of arthritis and I have a shit ton of mental illnesses... like hey yo can I not??? 17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now : Blue and green sweatpants and no shoes or socks cause I just woke up again. 18: What was the last thing you ate : one of those cutie little oranges?????? I think??? (I have memory problems like I don't even know what I did last night) 19: What are you listening to right now : I'm listening to like this forensics show?? Cause the narrator has a soothing voice and I have to have someone talking or else I can't fall asleep... 20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be : hmm... idk like a white crayon??? Like fairly useless and unnecessary???? 21: Favorite smell : literally any fresh baked dessert. 22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone : My mom~ she called right after my dad to wish me a happy Valentine's Day! And that she had a gift for me! I had to say I was still sick (cause I am) and she was sad cause we usually spend the day together~ 23: Favorite sport to watch : Hunter Jumping. But also Football if I care about the teams. 24: Hair color : Naturally its a strawberry blonde but rn its blue! 25: Eye color : Blue grey green 26: Do you wear contacts : Nope! I used to wear glasses but my eyesight corrected itself which is nice. 27: Favorite food to eat : hot cookies, fresh cake, and sweets ever, chicken pot pie made by my mom, the biscuits and gravy at my family reunion, and beef Wellington my dad makes. 28: Scary movies or comedy : Comedy!!! 29: Last movie you watched : Inferno cause its part of the DaVinci Code series by Dan Brown and that was my favorite series in like 5-7th grade. 30: What color of shirt are you wearing : Black lol. Its a Titanfall 2 shirt! 31: Summer or winter : Summer cause winter fucking sucks <- yes. 32: Hugs or kisses : b o t h b o t h both both both 33: What book are you currently reading : After my concussion I haven't been able to read very well so I stay away from books unless I was a mind splitting migraine for like days. Its sad cause reading got me through a lot... and now I can't read... 34: Who do you miss right now : my best friend Bre ( @hello-its-bre ) and my wife who tagged me! Also just like my friends in Alaska... it's so hard not really having any friends here... 35: What is on your mouse pad : its black with a yellow stripe cause its a gaming mouse pad... 36: What is the last TV program you watched : Face Off by Scyfy! 37: What is the best sound : idk... music? Ooo music from the cello, I love it! And it always relaxes me. 38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles : the Beatles?? I guess??? I don't really know either but the Beatles did some weird songs that Are great. 39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? : oh um... idk... from Colorado maybe Germany? Or Italy??? Idk... I used to live in England so my family traveled a ton... I don't really remember a ton of it cause I was little (like 2-5/6) 40: Do you have a special talent : cooking??? Maybe??? Also sculpture! Those are like the positive ones I can think of... 41: Where were you born : Plano, Texas I'm tagging........ @hello-its-bre @itsjibby @sweetsangho @dana-in-wonderland @zellobells And all my mutuals and everyone who wants to!!! I'm having a terrible memory day so I apologize for the small tagging... I can't remember urls well rn...

3/4/21~5000 question survey 101-200 {CXVI}

101. What does happiness/joy feel like physically?

~it’s this kind of tingiling sensation that you can feel in your stomach and it always comes when you least expect it 

102. List five people you love starting with the one you love the absolute most

~i don’t wanna rate the people i love. i love all my family and friends 

103. How many movies have you gone to see this month? 

~none 

104. If you could have 3 wishes...but none of them could be for yourself, what would you wish for? 

~for my sister to not feel stressed about her school, for my mom and dad to have a substantial amount of money to retire on, and good health for my grandparents  

105. In what ways do you relax and de-stress when you are really tense?

~listening to music always calms me down so i try to do that or talk to my bf haha

106. How much money would it take to get you to drive to school naked in the springtime and get out of the car? 

~a million lol

107. Have you ever killed an animal?

~not on purpose:( but one time a bird hit my windshield 

108. Have you ever lost someone close to you? 

~yes

 109. What do you think of cloning? 

~i think it’s wrong 

110. Do you read or watch TV more often? 

~definitely watch tv 

111. With all this talk of terrorism going around are you willing to sacrifice rights and freedoms for increased safety? 

~no. because i think my rights and freedoms are what keep me safe ultimately

112. What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden if you caught him alive? 

~.....a little late for that 

113. Have you ever named an individual part of your body?’

~lolllll no

114. Have you ever been on the radio or on TV? 

~on both i think 

115. Have you ever won a lottery, or sweepstakes?

~nope

116. Have you ever won a contest or competition? 

~i have 

117. Do you like to watch The Joy of Painting show with Bob Ross (check out this link if you don't know who he is. Also please note me if you notice the link is broken) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ross_(painter)? 

~i actually have watced it before; it’s very relaxing

118. Do you know what your grandparents and your great grand parents did for a living? 

~my grandmother worked for news channel and was a secretary and my grandpa worked on telephone lines. my grandma was a nurse, my other grandpa was a roofer, and my nana worked for a health insurance company. i have no idea what my great grandparents did

119. Is there anything really interesting in your family history? 

~we are distantly related to president eisenhower but other than that idk

120. Is there anyone you trust completely? 

~my dad

121. Have you ever lost someone without having the chance to say goodbye? 

~unfortunately yes 

122. How do you feel about women in politics? 

~i’m a firm believer in it....it’s the 21st century

123. Would you rather have an indoor Jacuzzi or an outdoor pool? 

~outdoor pool

124. What things are you interested in that you study or read about on your own? 

~i looooove true crime. i feel like i’ve watched every true crime/mystery documentary on netflix hahaha

125. Would you consider yourself to be intelligent? 

~kinda

126. Would you consider yourself to be wise? 

~honestly, it depends on what it is 

127. Have you ever given or received a lap dance? 

~i’ve attempted one lol

128. Have you ever spoken to a homeless person? 

~yes

129. Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring? 

~i’ve never even been on a subway

130. If you could add 70 years to your life but only by making some random person die 70 years sooner would you? 

~never .

131. Can you finish any of the following lyrics? A: Nothing to kill or die for... B: Late comings with the late comin' stretcher... C: I could make a film and make you my star... 

~lol nope

 132. Were you ever with someone while they died? 

~i haven’t and honestly don’t know if i ever want to

133. Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star? 

~a rock star for sure 

134. Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote? 

~lol no 

135. Have you ever sent someone a surprise though the mail? 

~yep!!

136. Are you looking forward to any concerts right now? 

~sadly, no because of covid. however, i’m thinking about getting tickets to see the weeknd in 2021 and the college i’m going to is super close to a music arena so hopefully i’ll get to go to some in college

137. Of all animated movies, which is the best one you've ever seen? 

~alice in wonderland the original is one of my all time favorite movies

138. What are the best bands or songs to listen to while driving? 

~i have an entire driving playlist and a lot of it is composed of songs dj’d by calvin harris so anything done by him is great to drive to

139. What do you think is the most amazing thing that anyone has ever accomplished?

~lol what kind of question is that ahaha

140. What could a member of the opposite sex do to impress you? 

~intelligence or if you can play guitar is super attractive to me 6

141. About how many emails do you get a day? 

~sooooo many omg. i need to go through them at some point 

How many of those emails are junk mail? 

~most of them

How many of them are forwards? 

~very few if any 

142. What's your favorite thing to do online besides write in your diary and hang out at this site? 

~pinterest and youtube 

143. Do you believe Kurt Cobain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain) killed himself or was it a conspiracy? 

~i have no idea because ik everything that surrounds him is kind os suspicious 

144. Have you ever though about hitchhiking across the country? 

~never haha. i rarly hike unless there is some beautiful destination to see

145. Who would you bring with you on this kind of a road trip? 

~a car lmmfao

146. Of the following, which word best describes you:

accurate, bold, charming, dependable

~ig charming. i’ve been called that before and i’ve been told that i make good impressions on people 

147. If you are single, at about what age do you think you will be ready to settle down and get married? If you are married, how old were you at the time? 

~i honestly have no idea. in a perfect world i’d loved to be married by my late 20s but honestly i wanna just see where life takes me and not but a number on it

148. Do you often wonder, when you say goodbye to people, if it is the last time you will ever see them? 

~i don’t actively think about that lol

149. What movie are you most looking forward to seeing when it comes out? 

~i have no idea what’s even coming out soon 

150. What is your quest? 

~what’s yours?

151. What is louder and more annoying: 200 adults talking or one four-year-old screaming?

~i’d say the screaming child just because their voices are so shrill compared to the sounds of adults just speaking

152. Do you believe the stories about planes, boats and people mysteriously disappearing into the Bermuda triangle? 

~i mean yeah lol they haven’t been able to find them 

153. Who are you the most jealous of? 

~lol madison beer. she’s so hot lmao 

154. What is the happiest way you can start your day? 

~actually eating something good for breakfast

155. Do you ever have moments where you feel like everything is all right in the world? 

~in my small world, yes haha

156. Who thinks that you are offensive?

~i have no idea lol

157. If you had to teach a class in something, what would you be able to teach people? 

~lolll i’ve taught a bible school for kids before so ig that since i have experiance in it 

158. Have you ever had a spiritual experience (an experience that cannot be explained by science)? 

~yes i have. i have been on youth retreats before where i really felt the presence of God. I’ve also felt evil energy before which is a really scry feeling

159. Do you believe that this experience was truly mystical or do you think there is some scientific explanation for it, only you don't know what it is? 

~i believe in God and in good and evil spirits so I think it was at least caused by another spiritual being 

160. Do you get offended easily? 

~not really but sometimes I can be a little bit sensitive haha

161. Would you still love and stay with your signifigant other if he or she had to have a breast or testicle removed? 

~lol yes always

162. Do you believe in fate or free will? 

~a little of both i guess

163. Do you believe that only boring people get bored? 

~lol no. i honestly think it’s easier for not boring people to get bored because they are usually doing very interesting thing. 

164. Can life change or are we all stuck in vain? 

~of course life can change haha and thank God for that

165. What changes are you afraid of? 

~having to not rely on my parents tbh. like i’m excited to begin to be truly independent but i’m nervous i won’t be able to successfully get there 

166. Are you a day person or nocturnal? 

~honestly it depends on who i’m with and what i’m doing like i’m usually not a night person but if i’m having fun with my friends then i can be 

167. What one CD could you listen to for an entire week (no mixed CD’s, it must be an album)? 

~i don’t own any CD’s anymore but in terms of an album i’d say astroworld

168. Which is worse, working in retail, food service, or an office? 

~for me it would definitely be food ;/

169. What's the coolest job you ever had? 

~it’s not cool but my favorite has been babysitting 

170. What is one central idea that your thoughts seem to come back to?

~college. it’s all i ever think about lol and just meeting new people in general

171. Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress? 

~yesssss it will lowkey always be a dream of mine

172. If you had the power to control one person and make this person do anything you wanted for a whole day, who would you pick and what would they do? 

~a bank teller so they could give me extra money when i deposit it lmmfao

173. What star sign are you and what is your sign like? 

~i think its bs :/ im so sorry cause i know people are really into it but i just don’t ahaha

174. Did the Blair Witch Project scare you? 

~no lol but i haven’t watched it in a while 

175. Are you in constant fear of death? 

~i don’t live in fear but death i feel is scary for everyone 

176. Does fear of death keep you from building a life? 

~of course not

177. Do you like all your movies to be in wide-screen? 

~it’s whatever lol

178. Are you a fan of any comic books? 

~nope 

179. At what age did you attend your first funeral? 

~gosh probably like 6 

180. What do you smell like (lotion, cologne, sweat)? 

~lowkey kind of floral which doesn’t make any sense because i didn’t put on anything floral

181. What are your greatest sources for wisdom? 

~good question

182. When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from? 

~i never asked my parents that question but eventually my mom just gave me “the talk”

183. What is your favorite band? 

~fleetwood mac

184. What's the best cheesy 80's song? 

~thriller is such a bop but is that cheesy?

185. What's the best kind of movie to see on a date? 

~me and jacob can never actually sit and watch a movie together lmao but i’m always down for a horror movie 

186. Do you like to sit in the front, middle or back of the Movie Theater?

~the middle

187. Have you ever been inside an abandoned building? 

~yessss and honestly i love exploring them

188. Under what circumstances would you agree to work for free?

~if i can help other people i’m always down

189. Candles or strobe lights? 

~candles

190. Do you think the Lord of the Rings movies are true to the books or did Hollywood change the story too much?

~there is a lottttt in the books that they didn’t include in the movie but hey you can’t possibly fit every detail from the book into the movies

191. When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat?

~i don’t look at people as a threat until they give me a reason to look at me that way

192. Is it natural for human beings to fear and distrust each other, or is it cultural? 

~that’s a good question. i honestly think it’s cultural because i think distrust is taught and learned from traumatizing or sad experiences 

193. What do you really want to buy? 

~clothes and cute dorm stuff 

194. You have to choose. Would you be happier marrying someone rich for their money or living in the streets and subway tunnels with someone you love? 

~ok this sounds terrible but as much as i believe in love over all i know i could not survive in the streets so i’d pick the money so i could feel at least somewhat safe and learn to love my husband as long as he’s a good person

195. If someone wanted to understand you what book could they read that would help?

~omg i have no idea. no book describes me that well

196. Do you think it’s odd that Americans have freedom of religion and yet call themselves 'one nation under god'? 

~as a christian, yes. i believe there is only one God and that He rules all, but I don’t expect everyone to believe that and they have the right to worship whoever they please as long as it doesn’t hurt others

197. In what sense are you a minority? 

~i have no idea lol

198. Are you anti social? 

~lolllllll nope haha i’m pretty outgoing when it comes to meeting new people

199. Do you photograph well? 

~i’m ok

200. Do you think that human beings would survivor through a nuclear winter?

~who knows 

Survey #231

too lazy to even think of song lyrics to put, just have this

Do bridges make you nervous? Somewhat. Are there any movies that you find so dumb, you find funny? Aha, Napoleon Dynamite. Do you have any older siblings? Four + one I don't know. How often do you vacation? Pretty much never. Are you currently having any cellular problems? My phone is ACTUAL horse shit. Have you ever tried to meet up with someone from online? With Sara, multiple times now. :') It'd be fantastic if when I go to South Africa I can meet Shaylee when I visit to the KMP, and my other friend Alyssa knows how badly I wanna meet Mark, so she insists on me going with her one day if he ever goes back to PAX East. I'd love to meet Connie, too. If you could have any car right now, what would you want exactly? Eh, I don't know car types. Something medium/smallish (I don't want very small for safety reasons) that's either burnt orange or red and just pretty and sleek. Do you think it’s cruel to leave a live fish to die in an ice box? Um???????? YEAH????????????????? Have you ever done anything sexual with someone of the same sex? Yeah. Do you collect issues of a certain magazine? No. Have you ever pawned anything off at a pawn shop? Nah. Do you have stomach abs? Ha, I wish. Do you know anyone who is trying to physically impersonate a celebrity? No, but oh my god, so my friend Leon, right? He looks UNCANNILY like Leon Kennedy (WEIRD name coincidence????) from the Resident Evil series so much that he dressed as him one day. The resemblance is fucking unbelievable, especially when his hair was longer in the front. Do you have the Bakery Story app? Haven't heard of it. Do you watch Sister Wives? Haven't heard of that, either. How do you feel about polygamy? It's definitely not for me, but if it's KNOWINGLY between a consenting, happy group of people, you do you, man. Just hardcore practice safe sex. Have you ever seen a shuttle launch? No. What would your parents say is the worst thing you’ve ever done? I haven't got a clue. I'd assume Mom would probably say me texting her "fuck you" even though she deserved it. Dad, probably the letter I wrote him after the divorce. Are we having signs of the apocalypse? I don't even remember the Biblical signs besides like, swarms of locusts and humanity's focus shifting to materialism. I say rather we're having actually scientific signs of a mass extinction coming in the next few centuries, probably, or sooner. Historically, we're extremely overdue for one, anyway. Global warming, the ozone, overpopulation, pollution... you know, all that jazz. We're killing the earth. Would you rather see The Blue Man Group or Fear Factor live? Blue Man Group. Do you have any vintage clothing? Man, I wish. Are you glad to accept any certain person’s hand-me-downs? "As long as it fits and it’s like, clean, I guess?" <<<< This. Have you ever bought anything at Rue 21? Yeah, I like that store. The graphic tees section, at least. What color of colored contacts would you like to have? Like, purple or something. NO, cyan. Gimme a Manson feel. What’s on your bed? Me, Teddy, Roman, my laptop and mouse, my pillows, sheets, blanket, phone... Your floor besides furniture? My bookbag and purse. Wires. Shoes. Your dresser? My meerkat collection, along with some other plushies. The top shelf in your closet? I have no clue. Are there any dead stuffed animals in your house? Uh, you mean taxidermy? No. I am viciously against hunting "trophies." HOWEVER, I'm deeply into vulture culture and have mixed feelings about making art of NATURALLY deceased wildlife... A part of me says that's disrespectful, and then the other says it's very honoring and respectful, to immortalize an animal's beauty as art after experiencing a good life. It's something I semi-want to get into, but again, I'm torn on my thoughts about it. Do you know anyone who goes fishing, but doesn’t like fish? Do you mean like, eating fish? I'll fish with Dad if he invites me (I otherwise stopped as I don't support it if not necessary for food, but this has always been my and Dad's "thing"), but I hate fish as food. If you mean they don't enjoy fish as animals, I don't think so. What’s the best prize you’ve won on an amusement park/carnival game? I don't have a clue. Have you ever done anything sexual in a school? No, besides simple kisses. Have you ever been indoor skydiving? No. Would you have any interest in going on a cruise? No. Being out in the ocean scares me. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. How old was the oldest person you’ve dated? Maybe like, five years older. Do you know anyone who has their own podcast? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How many children do you want, and how did you decide on this number? None. I decided because 1.) I would be a terrible mother, 2.) I'm not putting anyone's well-being above my own ever again, 3.) I'm not dedicating the remainder of my life trying to raise someone who might end up not even caring about me, and 4.) they're fuckin expensive and I've been poor my whole life and will do almost anything to keep my bills and expenses in general as low as possible. Where did your last kiss take place? The airport. Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? Oh, definitely. I loved reading. ^ What were some of your favorite books? Little-little kid books included Stellaluna, What Makes a Rainbow?, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Rainbow Fish, 10 Minutes 'Til Bedtime... a lot. As like an elementary student, I was really into the Magic Tree House and Hank the Cowdog series. Then in middle school, Warriors dominated my bookshelf. Are you more of a visual learner or an auditory learner? Visual. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Do you prefer Google Maps, Apple Maps, Waze, or something else? I've never used any. What is your favorite coffee brand? N/A What is your favorite tea brand? N/A Have you ever worn false eyelashes? No. I probably only will for maybe my wedding. How old does someone have to be for you to see them as an adult? 21 I guess. Do you ever ‘manspread’ when you sit down? Uh. I actually don't know. I don't pay attention. Which of your good habits has made the biggest positive difference in your life? Coming to understand I have to put myself first, probably. Or learning how to talk to myself gently. Have you ever dated someone who was very lazy? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. I always quit too early for that, really. Do you overuse smileys? I don't think so. At least not anywhere near how I did as a pre-teen in the "LOL rANdoM!!!!!! XD" phase. Who is better; Madonna or Blondie? Idk. Who is better; Elton John or Billy Joel? BILLY!!!!!!! Name three website you visit every day: YouTube, Kalahari Manor, and deviantART. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? Tyler and I watched the first one. I don't remember what I thought about it, really. Have you ever worn black eyeliner? "Yeah. That’s the only kind I wear." <<<< This. Have you ever worn blue mascara? No. That'd look weird on me. Hm, or maybe not. Maybe it'd bring out my blue eyes. Ever spiked your hair? No. How long have you had a computer? I don't have a clue. Have you ever written something, and published it on the internet? Well yeah? When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) Hell, forever ago when I was at Colleen's with Girt and we played CAH. Can you play chess? Nope. When was the last time you read a book over 700 pages long? Shit man, no clue. I don't know if I ever have. Have you ever drank cherry Coke? GOOD STUFF Do you prefer using pens or pencils? Pencils, considering you can erase. I avoid using pens if I can. Have you ever skipped for a long distance? Maybe as a little kid? Are you excited for the holidays? Halloween was disappointing, as I did absolutely zip. I honestly don't care about Thanksgiving. We always just go have dinner with Ashley's bigot in-laws. I'm VERY hyped for Christmas 'cuz I'm probably gonna be with Sara!! Can you play any instruments? I played the flute for years, but I don't think I could remember how to now. Are you a Facebook addict? Nah. Are you afraid of stink bugs? YEAH. I hate beetle-like insects. Do you have a printer? Yeah. Does anyone own any embarrassing pictures of you? HAHAHAHA I HOPE SHE DOESN'T STILL HAVE IT, MY FRIEND ONCE TOOK A PICTURE OF ME IN THE MIDDLE OF EATING A HOT DOG AND I JUST REALLY HATE IT. Do you still live at home? Yeah. Are you currently enrolled in college? Yep. Do you care what others say about you? Way too much. Have you ever played Farmville? No. What is your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. What song represents your life the best? "Get Up" by Mother Mother makes me think of myself A LOT. Are you into anime? Yeah. Name one movie that has made you cry more than once. The Notebook. Always. Do you watch the Disney Channel? Not anymore. Do you swear? Way too much. Do you overthink things? You wouldn't BELIEVE how much I do. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A fuckin ginormous black lab until Ashley moved out. He wasn't even full-grown. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? As a kid, I was running on the gravel road and slipped and fell. I scraped my knees to the point of pus coming out. It took a loooong time to heal. I cried SO fucking loudly. Bad, bad memory made only worse because Dad got so annoyed by it that he yelled at me to shut up. Happy beyond words he changed so much after the divorce and stopped drinking. What is something you like to have conversations about? MARK and other YouTubers I love to an unreasonable height, meerkats, vidya games I enjoy, RP, bands I love... What all is in the trunk of your car? I don't have a clue. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? EW no. I hate that shit. How do you usually celebrate your favorite holiday? By doing nothing, lately. I don't have anywhere to go, so no point in even dressing up. Plus I can't afford costumes. When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? Uh. I have zero clue. Have you ever eaten/drank something and then realized it was past the expiration date? Probably at some point. Do you own any jewelry containing your birthstone? I have an amethyst angel pin from my grandmother. When I was in high school and going through my most suicidal phases, I wore it on my shirt underneath my hoodies. What is something unusual that annoys you? Hm. Well, I think this resonates with a lot of people at least to a mild degree, but it really angers me when people don't put their shopping carts back and just sit them in/by a parking spot. Fucking lazy as hell. Does mind over matter work for you? Rarely. What was the last thing you were invited to? No clue. Well, besides the obvious things like my niece and nephew's b-day parties, I don't know. What item should never be shared? Stealing the last person's answer: your toothbrush. What do you usually order at Taco Bell? A cheese quesadilla and fiesta potatoes. Sometimes the cinnamon delight things instead of the potatoes. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind? No. Does drinking alcohol make you act more like your true self? I don't know if it's my "true" self, but I'm more extroverted and calmer. Have you ever googled a name and found somebody? Uhhhh so this is probably so incredibly creepy, but I jumped through hoops finding Jason's landline a few days before my suicide attempt because I was absolutely desperate to talk to him. It was in the dead of night and his sweetheart mom picked up and spoke with me for like two whole hours trying to calm me down. Jason was asleep, apparently. I miss that woman. She was so patient and gentle that night. Okay I'm honestly getting pretty emotional recalling that night so MOVING ON. What is your favorite possession? My iPod, really. I've had it since middle school and has 1k+ songs on it that I, like an idiot, am too lazy to back up... soooo when it dies, which it's WAY overdue to do, I will probably tear the world in two. What makes you feel like you are young again? Laughing hysterically. Especially when I do this little squeaking sound. Girt pointed it out all the time and since then I've actually paid attention to it and it's fuckin cute tbh. Are you picky? You. Don't. Even. KNOW. You have one wish, what would it be? World peace. How tall is the person you like? Shorter or taller? She's just like two inches shorter at 5'2''. How tall was the tallest person you’ve dated? Fucking hell, Girt was AT LEAST 6', I'm sure taller. I only reached his chest. How many foreign friends do you have? Oh boy, plenty. Well, I'd say most are acquaintances, but still. I've been on the Internet too long. In which countries do they live? European countries and Australia are the ones I know off the top of my head. What was your dream birthday party as a kid? Hmmm, probably going skating with my friends. What’s the most interesting story you’ve never told anybody? I don't know. What’s the most complicated meal you’ve cooked? Nothing. Have you ever come up with your own game? As kids, my sisters and I did a lot. What is something you value a lot in your life? Having a home, food to eat, a family that loves me... the basics that unfortunately many people don't have. Whose hand did you hold last? Sara's. What was the last thing you planted? Habanero peppers, I think. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? *shrugs* When's the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? Probably by holding doors open? What's the most selfless act you have done? Probably compromising my mental health to help others. I dunno. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? wtf no get out of mah swamp Are you clumsy? If so, how? I'm a newborn deer ffs. I bump into and trip over shit every day. How many Lidls are there in your town? None. I think. I think the closest is in the next town over. How do you like your favorite beverage? Cold and freshly opened 'cuz carbonation. Are you going to any concerts this summer? Ozzy Osbourne is very likely and I am NOT over it even though that was decided forever ago. Have you ever been to a concert? Once. What do you do when you can’t escape thoughts of your ex? I have PTSD from that relationship, getting away from those thoughts isn't a thing until my brain decides it's over it. Like I mainly just look for a distraction, but honestly, the only thing that seems to be truly effective is time or sleep. Do you watch any TV shows where the setting’s a hospital? I enjoy The Good Doctor, but I've talked about my disinterest in TV plenty. Did your first real significant other change you at all? HI HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE BREAKUP??????????????? Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Nah, not anymore. I broke that "promise" anyway through total cheat methods or whatever you want to call them, but I'm ultimately glad I thought I was obeying abstinence through that time considering honestly with how serious we were and how impulsive I was, I genuinely wonder if I would've wound up pregnant. Let's NOT IMAGINE THAT ROUTE. How many schools have you been to? Six. What’s your favorite color to wear? Black. Isn’t it lovely when your S/O smells good? I mean yeah, would anyone answer "no"???? Who’s your favorite actor? Mark is an official actor now don't even fuckin try me about this Who can make you laugh no matter what? *points up* + Sara and Game Grumps. Has a movie ever made you cry? Which one(s)? The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, Titanic, Old Yeller, The Lion King, Coco, Finding Dory, Johnny Got His Gun... man, a lot. I'm a baby when it comes to movies. Do you keep a list of movies you want to watch so you don't forget? No. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? It was one of Highly Suspect's new songs. I think it was called "Snow White." What do you prefer -- the original fairy tales, or the Disney versions? Disney. Would you like more film adaptations of traditional fairy tales? Yeah, I enjoy them. Are there any comic books you'd like to see made into a movie? I don't read 'em. Are there any comic book movies you wish had been better? ^ Have you watched the Good Omens series yet? Thoughts? No. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Yrel from World of Warcraft is a fucking badass that needs to come back, I love Heather Mason from Silent Hill 3 with her being a realistic, relatable, and headstrong female protagonist that takes no shit, Bayonetta is my Mommy like have you seen that girl work (she served as some of my first evidence I wasn't straight, actually), I love Cynder from The Legend of Spyro saga with her personality overall and story... there's a lot I love. OH! Ellie from The Last of Us is impossible to not mention. It's beyond debate she's one of the toughest females in video game history, and it was interesting to watch her grow up in a post-apocalyptic world where horrors and tragedy were so normal. Something you didn't like that happened in one of your fave shows/books? GINGA DENSETSU WEED SPOILER: I will forever be livid Jerome died sobs I loved him more than I love myself. THE OUTSIDERS SPOILER: Dally's death devastated me. A character (in anything) you wish hadn't been killed off? Vol'jin's death in WoW was fucking stupid and entirely anticlimactic. Make the guy warchief & then Blizz doesn't know what to do with him and lets trash kill him, such shit writing, look guys I'm fuckin tilted about- What was the last video you saw that made you smile? Oh my god, I watched a clip of Shane Dawson at the Mall of America with Jeffree today, and he was physically in a state of shock, entirely speechless, and in tears. My lips were about to split my face in half smiling and almost crying. He deserves all he's getting right now beyond words. What's something exciting that's happened recently? A Heist With Markiplier was the best thing that ever happened to me ok. What about something upsetting? My grandma going downhill so fast. Cancer cells are now clearly visible in her blood. Do you have any calluses on your feet? So possibly TMI so look away, but I used to walk SO MUCH that my feet, especially my big toes, have the thickest calluses you could probably imagine. They bother me so much that I want to see whatever kind of doctor that can get rid of the damn things. Nothing I've ever done has helped get rid of them. I've CUT areas off in hopes of them going away, but it always heals BACK into a callus???? What was your last big purchase? Teddy's vet visit. Have you ever eaten grits? Grits are disgusting. What is the name of your YouTube channel, if you have one? 0zzkat. Do you wear the same shirt and shorts multiple times before washing? It depends on how long I wore the shirt and if I sweat. You'd never see me in shorts. What color is your favorite lip gloss? I don't use gloss. How many different states have you lived in? Just one. Are you allergic to bees? No. What color is the rim around your bedroom mirror (if applicable)? Black. What is your favorite flavor of saltwater toffee? I don't know if I've ever tried that. Have you ever vacationed on an island? No. What does your favorite bikini look like? Remember how I said you wouldn't see me in shorts? That goes even more for bikinis. What flavor was the last slushee you had? Strawberry limeade.

884.

5k Survey XI

501. If you could rename yourself what would your new name be? >> I’ve done that on many occasions. I don’t feel the need to do so again, right now. 502. What is your Glam Rock name (the name of your first pet plus your street name)? >> Roxie Woodfield. 503. Have you ever created your own ‘what ___ are you’ quiz? If you did make one what would it be about? >> No, and I wouldn’t make one. 504. What is your favorite song from the 70’s? >> I don’t remember which songs I like come from that decade, specifically. 505. What do you feel like complaining about? >> I don’t want to complain right now.

506. What do you feel like celebrating? >> Nothing. 507. Have you lost touch with anyone you should call? >> No. 508. Deep in thought do you forgive everyone? >> There’s no need for me to forgive most people, because no matter what nonsense they’ve done, it wasn’t to me. As far as the people who have done things to me, specifically, I prefer to just not think about them much at all if I can help it (sometimes I can’t, because flashbacks are a bitch). I don’t care much about the concept of forgiveness, personally. It doesn’t do anything for me. 509. Can a person speak out against their government and still support their country? >> To want your country to be better, to constantly improve and learn from its mistakes, to be as good to and for its people as possible, is a form of support. Support for what matters -- the people that live there.  510. What do you have faith in? >> I don’t know, that’s not a concept I use much. 511. Do you believe your government has a file on you somewhere? >> I mean... yes... I have a Social Security number and multiple other forms of identification, as well as being a recipient of government benefits. Of course they have a file on me, what do you think they’re pulling up whenever they ask for my SSN? 512. What (not who) do you care about? >> Good question. 513. What is the worst thing that could possibly happen to you? >> I’m not sure. There are a lot of awful things that could happen to me, after all. What makes something the “worst”? 514. Who or what is really the absolute root and source of all evil? >> Probably not money; that’s not digging deeply enough in my opinion. It would also suggest that whatever it is that people are calling “evil” did not exist before we started using currency, which seems improbable at best. 515. What do you want to change about the world? >> Meh. 516. Why did you decide to complete this survey? >> Because someone else is doing it and I figured why not, it’s been a few years. At least I know I won’t have to hunt for new surveys to take for a while. 517. Has anyone ever led you on? >> I don’t think so. 518. What was the last thing you did against your will? >> I don’t remember. 519. What are your plans for the rest of today? >> I don’t have any plans, I’m just going to do whatever I feel like doing at the time. 520. How can you make tomorrow better than today was? >> Dude, today is fine. If tomorrow is another day like today, I’ll consider it a success. 521. Would you rather date someone 4 feet tall or 9 feet tall? >> Can humans even get that tall? Not that I’m restricting my dating pool to humans, or anything, but I assume most of the people taking this survey are. 522. How often do you get jealous? >> I don’t. 523. What is the one thing you do that your friends wish you didn’t? >> --- 524. Do you do any soul searching? >> I don’t really know what that means.

525. Do you believe you have a soul? >> I have never bothered making a determination one way or the other. Sometimes the concept is useful in trying to explain certain aspects of my existence, but most of the time I don’t have to mess around with any “soul” business at all. 526. Would you rather have a child that is more confident or more curious? >> These are not opposites, so I have no idea why a child couldn’t be more of both (or less of both, or whatever). 527. Are you a slave to love? >> No??? What. 528. If you were going to write a bedtime story for someone you loved what would it be about? >> I wouldn’t. 529. Does anyone understand you? >> Possibly. 530. Do you understand yourself? >> Possibly. 531. Earth, Air, Fire, and Water: Which is your element? >> Air. 532. Who influences you to be the way you are? >> Can Calah influences me to be better than the way I am. 533. What is one idea that you live by? >> I don’t live by any particular ideas. 534. How can people act to make you want to get to know them? >> *shrug* 535. Are you more delicate or tough? >> I don’t know, man. 536. Would you rather be smarter or more beautiful? >> --- 537. Have you ever had a surprise party? >> Nope. 538. When are you at a loss for words? >> When I read posts on this website, sometimes. lol 539. What is the worst time to be alone? >> I have no idea. 540. What do your parents do that you will try never to do? >> I think I’m pretty successful in not being judgemental towards other people for utterly benign things like, you know, what god(s) they believe in or their sexual preference... 541. What gets you through the night? >> Sleep? 542. Do you really want to live forever? >> Not really, no. 543. Do you often experience powerful emotions? >> Often enough, I guess. My emotions sometimes feel bigger than I am, which is why I end up doing shit I don’t truly want to do in order to make them stop. 544. What could make you so happy right now that you would cry and laugh and sing? >> Uh. 545. Who is your favorite visual artist? >> I like a lot of visual artists. 546. What would you like to protest against? >> I don’t want to protest against anything. There were plenty of protests I could have joined recently if that was my desire, but it isn’t. 547. What or who do you support? >> Hm. 548. If you found out you were pregnant today, would you have an abortion? >> This wouldn’t happen, regardless. And if it somehow did, I think I’d keep it just long enough to get that sweet scientific research money because I’m sure they’d have a veritable field day with a spontaneous, sexless conception. 549. Do you like picking out greeting cards or would you rather write your own? >> Neither, I don’t get the point of greeting cards at all. 550. Do you like to be thought of as mysterious? >> I don’t have an opinion on it one way or the other. There are worse things to be thought of as, certainly.

1. First of all, what do you prefer to be called? Stephanie or Steph is fine. 2. What is your favorite form of creative expression? Blogging and these surveys. 3. How do you like your coffee OR if you don’t like it, why?: With flavored creamer or with Half and Half and Splenda. 4. What is the least desirable thing, in your opinion, to put on a pizza that you have heard of people actually eating?: I’m a simple gal, I just like extra cheese and extra sauce. I don’t like mushrooms, anchovies, onions or all that other crap. Also, I don’t get the whole pineapple thing. Sorry not sorry. 5. Would you rather witness the beginning or the end of the universe?: I’d like to not see the end since that would mean the end of everything/everyone. Seeing the beginning would be remarkable.

6. Describe your favourite pair of socks: I just like my black ankle socks.

7. What is the current or last song you are listening/listened to, and does it have any special significance to you?: I don’t remember the last song I listened to at the moment. I don’t feel like checking, either. 8. Do you prefer rainbows or stars?: Stars. 9. Describe the best day of your life NOT in terms of events, but in terms of your feelings: Feeling in love and that having that special connection with someone. 10. Would you rather go to a planetarium or an aquarium?: Neither. 11. Do you know the reason that 11:11 is considered to be auspicious?: Nope. 12. What decorations are hanging on your walls?: I have a few pictures, a marker board, a bulletin board, clock, and a big Swedish flag. 13. What is your favourite planet in our solar system?: Earth. 14. How do you express love?: By being supportive, encouraging, loving, caring, helping when I can, and by  just saying it. 15. Do you consider yourself to be more spiritual or scientific?: Spiritual. 16. If you had a lava lamp, what color would you want it to be?: I haven’t. 17. Would you rather be able to revisit your past to simply re-experience a positive moment or revisit your past in order to change things and risk the consequences?: I’d like to change things, but then yeah I’d be afraid of the consequences of doing so. It could make things better or it could make things worse. It could take away some of the good things that have happened. I just keep thinking if I had done some things differently, then maybe I wouldn’t have some of the issues I have now. And I have regrets about other things. But sigh I don’t know. 18. Have you ever had a past-life regression or memory?: No. 19. What is your favourite holiday and why?: Christmas. I just love everything about it. 20. Are you better with remembering dates or names?: Names, but I’m good with some dates, too. Like if they’re significant to me, such as birthdays. 21. What was your favourite book that you had to read for a class?: I enjoyed A Brave New World. 22. What is your favourite number and why is it significant to you?: Eight. It’s been my favorite number since I was a kid. Anyone remember those School House Rock cartoons? They had songs to help kids learn math and other subjects. Anyway, I really liked the song for eight. I also thought it was fun to make and that it was cool how it was an infinity sign when turned on its side.

23. Would you rather explore space or the ocean?: Neitherrrr. Both sound terrifying. 24. What prompted you to call the last person you called?: I was calling my mom back. 25. Star Trek or Star Wars?: Star Wars. 26. Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter?: Harry Potter. 27. What is your favourite band and why?: I have lots of favourites, because I can’t choose just one. <<<< Same. 28. What colour best resonates with your best friend(s)?: -- 29. Where do you work and why do you work there?: I don’t work.

30. Have you ever gone to a public karaoke facility, and what did you sing?: I’ve been to bars where they had karaoke night, but I sure as hell didn’t get up there and sing. Not even drunk could I do that. 31. What animal do you feel most connected with?: I felt most connected with my dog. She passed away this past December. :( :( :( 32. Have you ever had “special brownies” or any other kind of “special” treat?: Not brownies, but I’ve had special taffy and cookies. 33. What book are you reading at the moment?: He Found Me by Whitney Barbetti. 34. What is the funniest thing that you have done at a fast food restaurant? I haven’t done anything funny at a fast food restaurant. 35. Do you enjoy listening to music that is sung in another language?: Some, sure. 36. Quote the last movie you watched: "This is my money maker. *gestures to face* I’m not that good of an actor, I know that.” Ashton Kutcher’s character, Hank, in Cheaper by the Dozen. 37. Do you know more than just your sun sign (like your ascending sign or moon sign etc.)?: Nah. 38. Do you have any jewelery on you that holds significance, and if so, what is it and why is it significant?: I don’t have jewelry on me. 39. What is your favorite kind of cheesecake?: Mmm. So many kinds. I love cheesecake. 40. Why did you last feel warm and fuzzy inside?: I don’t remember the last time I felt that.

41. What band that no longer performs together do you wish would have a reunion tour?: Hmmm. 42. What band that IS still together do you wish would perform in your area?: Again I say, hmmm... 43. Have you ever been in a band, and what role did you play in it?: No. 44. What has been the single most frightening experience of your life?: All my surgeries. 45. Who is/was your favourite Spice Girl?: I didn’t have a particular favorite. 46. Do you prefer free verse or poetry set in a form?: Whichever. Just depends. 47. In a hotel, would you choose to go in the hot tub, the sauna, the workout room, or the pool?: None of those. I’ll just be chillin’ in the room. Lol when I stay in hotels I do the same things I do at home. I have my laptop, the TV, and a big bed. I’m good. 48. Imagine that you are exploring space. Who would you want with you and what would you want to explore, assuming you are not limited in any way?: I wouldn’t be exploring space because just the idea of it freaks me out. 49. Have you ever astral projected?: No. This YouTuber I watch says that he can, though. Sounds pretty trippy. 50. What is your favourite song by the group t.A.T.u?: Probably “All The Things She Said” because that’s the only other one I know besides “They’re Not Gonna Get Us”.<<< The only song I know by them is the first one listed, but I really liked it back in the day.

51. Describe what you envision as “paradise”: Something greater than we can even imagine. 52. What element do you feel most connected to?: I guess water. 53. What is a cause that you feel very strongly about and why?: Causes for animals is one example. They don’t have a voice, so they need us to speak up when they’re being mistreated. 54. What was your favourite class from the last year that you were in school?: This entertainment journalism class. My last semester was just a couple electives because I was 3 units away from graduating. I really enjoyed that class. I’ve always been interested in  entertainment/celebrity/pop culture news stuff. 55. What is a topic that you study independently for your own interest?: Well, I’ve been reading and studying the Bible on my own to learn about God’s word and build my relationship with Him. 56. Describe what you would want to wear if you were getting married, handfasted, or having some kind of “love celebration” or “commitment” ceremony between yourself and another? *shrug* 57. What song do you want played at your funeral?: I don’t know. 58. Would you rather alphabetize or put things in order according to numbers?: Alphabetize. 59. What medication do you dislike the most?: I don’t particularly like any medication. It’s just something I gotta do. 60. Would you rather write a story or a poem?: Story. 61. Do you believe in non-physical entities, and if so have you ever communicated with one?: I believe in God. 62. What invention or discovery do you think that the scientific community should focus on?: I think they’re already focus on a lot of important priorities, like medical care, disease cure and treatment, etc. << Yeah. I work in medical research and I can tell you that we are extremely well funded.<<< That’s good to know.

63. If you could go anywhere, where would you go and why?: Sweden. 64. What skill do people often compliment you on?: I don’t know. I don’t have any skills.<< Saaame. 65. What are three facets of your personality or thinking patterns that you want to improve?: My anxious, pessimistic, negative self. 66. What is your favourite symbol?: $$$ <<< Hahah. 67. Name an unusual shortcut or file that’s on your desktop: There aren’t any. 68. What do you smell like right now?: I don’t know. Me. 69. You get to have a theme party of your choice, just for fun. What theme do you choose?: Hmmm. I’d have to think about that more, I’m not sure. 70. Have you ever been in the depths of a cave?: No. 71. How do you deal with the dark side of yourself?: Uhhh. 72. Name something that you can’t help but save: I hold onto a lot of things. 73. What is your addiction?: Coffee and Tumblr. 74. If you could wish something for three people, but not for yourself, who would the wishes be for and what would they be?: Health, happiness and money for everyone I love. << I like that. 75. Would you rather send a message in a bottle or on a balloon?: Balloon. 76. What did you dream last night?: I didn’t dream as far as I can recall. I haven’t in awhile. 77. What is one of your most frequent daydreams?: My mind always just wanders to whatever is going on and all the stuff I’m dealing with. 78. What is your favourite stuffed animal?: All my many giraffe stuffed animals. 79. If you could have a conversation with any well-known figure of the past or present, who would it be and what would you want to talk about?: I really don’t know. 80. If you could bring anyone back to life, who would it be?: My grandma. 81. Are you affectionate?: I hug my mom a lot and tell her I love her.

82. Name one thing that each of your best friends is really good at: -- 83. What are you a perfectionist with?: I’m not a perfectionist. 84. Could you see yourself being able to carry on a long distance relationship?: I don’t know. 85. If you could be anything but human, including anything mythical, what would you be?: *shrug* 86. Have you ever meditated? If so, what is your method, and if not, what do you do to relax?: No. 87. What is something about yourself that you feel no one else understands?: My mind. I can be so stubborn and make things complicated. I don’t understand myself, really.