#last post in 2011....yeah sounds about right | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

woneuntonzz · 3 months

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what's it like to love ? 𓇢𓆸

anton lee x afab!reader (part 5/5)

• part 1

• part 2

• part 3

• part 4

warnings: cussing!

genre: fluff -`♡´- highschool love

word count: 2.8k words!!

[note!!: hiii i'd just like to quickly say that this is my first post ever and i'm still a bit insecure with my writing, and english is not my first language so bare with me now 🙏 open for any forms of feedback

please do take note that i will take longer to update/respond to anything because of school, thank you!!! ]

[Day 99]

It's been a few weeks since your senior year began, though, the path to take after overcoming highschool is still a little unclear to you. Still, you don't rush yourself.

“Psychology's quite interesting.” you said as your fingers glided through the array of vinyls.

“You wanna be a therapist?” Anton was at the other side of the tall steel shelf that divided the two of you.

Your fingers stopped on a vinyl of your favorite The Smiths song. You walked over to the record player, just in time when Queen had sung the last lines to Don't Stop Me Now. Anton crept up behind you and laid his hands on your shoulders.

“That song reminds me of the time when I first fell for you.” he would whisper in your ear.

You turned your head and looked up at him with raised brows. “Really?”

“Yeah. I've liked you since freshman year. I can remember very vividly. I felt so tired from training at the time and kinda hated that I still had to go to school the next morning. I was sleeping in the classroom during lunch time, and, like, I had my head down and couldn't see anything, then I suddenly heard you singing 'There's a light, and it never goes out'.” Anton sang the last part right into your ear.

When the record started to play the song, you turned around to face him.

“How'd you know it was me if you couldn't see?” you posed him a question followed by a low chuckle.

“That's the thing. I wanted to know who it was so bad, but I didn't know how. I'm still a total loser at the end of the day.” His words got you shaking your head at a mild pace, laughing. “I guess it took me about 3 weeks to figure it out. You would always sing it randomly. At some point I thought you were doing it on purpose to get to me.”

Disbelief was displayed on your face as you looked at him. “Wow, I can't— why would I even try to 'get to you' when you never even talked to me unless you really needed to.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just that —well, I just thought you were like the other girls back then that snuck love letters underneath my desk and stuff.” your smile grew to a cackle that infected him.

The sweet sound of your harmonious laughter and the music marked another halcyon for the two of you to look back on.

“Okay 'Mr. Chick-magnet'.” you joked as you hugged his waist and buried your face in his chest.

As a response, he wraps an arm around your body, and the other would reach behind your head, caressing your hair as the two of you slowly and subtly swayed to the music.

You two have been together for almost 3 months now. Not much has changed since then other than being more open and touchy with each other and no longer caring if people gave you piercing looks for being so enamored towards each other.

The record store would end up being a hotspot for you two —though, it would only be when you weren't able to go to your grandfather's flower fields. The record store owner grew fond of seeing you and Anton lost in each other's visage, and the music. He saw the way you would stare into each other's eyes and wondered what kind of film played in them to cause so much immersion from the two of you.

“I thought it was easy to play the cello.” you mumbled against his chest.

“Yeah. It is, you just don't know how.” you giggled at his light-hearted retort.

You looked up at him with gleaming eyes.

“Am I a bad teacher?” he asked softly.

“No, not at all. I guess I'm just really distracted.” a chuckle escapes his mouth by the end of your answer.

“Distracted by what?” he prodded at you with his words, and his eyes as he pressed his forehead against yours.

You grin knowing both you and him already know the answer to that.

“By you.”

He took you to his house after another one of his swimming matches. Well, it was actually his mom who had asked you to come to their home for dinner and drove you along. Anton wordlessly thanked his mom for inviting you over, he wanted to do so himself, but he got scared you would decline.

After dinner, he took you to his room and there you finally saw the cello that would always be in the background when you two facetimed, that he sometimes would play to you through call. He played you your favorite ballad and asked you to sing to it. His mind would adrift from the walls of his room and would follow the mist of your dulcet voice. You loved the way he closed his eyes as he played, and how he'd slowly flutter his eyes open to meet yours. His sobriety shattered as he got drunk in your grace and how your head would tilt to peek in his reverie, and it almost slipped out of his mouth —I love you, but something held him back.

After a while, he would go on to teach you. He'd position himself behind you, and guide your hands with his own. His hands would linger on your skin which made you unable to follow his directions or comprehend anything he said clearly.

After everything that went down, he truly never wanted to let go of your hand as you stepped into the gate of your own home. His smile urged you to drag him along with you, but you resisted, and gave him a quick peck on his cheek before saying goodbye.

“You know when you'd always lecture me on the lessons I can't understand?”

You and Anton were now seated on the little sofa in the store, you laid your head on his shoulder as he played with your hands.

“Hmm~ what about it?” you asked him back.

“At some point I constantly lied about not getting it so you can teach me over and over again.” he says, almost in a laugh, laying his head against yours.

“Are you saying that because I jokingly called you stupid one time…” you felt him frantically shake his head.

“No! I'm being for real.” he laughed.

“Yeah, okay…” you kept your wary tone from which he dragged your hand near his mouth and bit it lightly. “What are you doing?”

You two were giggling against each other. It was only with each other that you reached true serenity. You were lucky to have the record store all to yourselves. It would always be empty —at least at the times you'd visit— as if it was being reserved for the two of you.

————— ୨୧ —————

You sat on your desk, typing out an essay given by your English teacher as an assignment to be submitted the next day. You hopped on a call with your friends who were given the same assignment.

“Our essay topic is just 'memories', she just gave us that word, said nothing else about it and left!” Yuna grumbled.

“Tell me about it. Anyways, what topic was given to your class Y/n?” Liz asked.

“Love. Just love.” you replied, continuously typing on your laptop.

“Dang. That's kinda easy.” you couldn't help but grin at the slight frustration in Liz's voice.

“'Memories' is not that bad. You're both school journalists, you can do it!” you gave them words of encouragement in hopes that they'd start to restlessly type too.

“Okay, okay. Game mode on.”

You couldn't stop your lips from forming a smile as you read through what you had already typed. The only reason this was easy for you was because of the given topic. It gave you the opportunity to give an answer to the life-long question you've had in your head.

“Finally finished! I feel so tired. I'm gonna head out first, I might bang my head against my desk if I don't go to sleep, bye lovies! See you tomorrow!” Danielle yawned before leaving the call.

“Me too guys hehe.” Yuna spoke.

“Y/n? you're still not done?” Xen asked.

“Yep. Just doing revisions. I'll be done in a few minutes.” you were in fact not done, not doing revisions just yet, you just had a lot to say.

“Well, let's end the call and get some sleep. Go to sleep as soon as you finish, yeah?” you looked over to your phone screen and gave Xen a dozy nod. “Okay, bye babes!”

“Bye-bye!”

“See y'all tomorrow!”

You turned your attention back to your essay, deep in thought. An idea suddenly crossed your mind. You would finish your essay, but would end up sleeping way later as your head ran with thoughts about tomorrow.

————— ୨୧ —————

[Day 100]

You woke up to your mom assisting you to the kitchen to eat breakfast. Your temperature spiked up and you felt light-headed the whole time. It was still early in the morning, but you were already receiving sought messages from your friends, including Anton.

You chuckled before getting up from where you sat. You realized it would take you all the strength you had to get to your room to retrieve your laptop, still, you persisted and was back in the kitchen with your laptop within minutes. You hurriedly sent him the file, but then you remembered. You had intended to give it to him after it had been graded by your teacher —as a love letter. It sounds cheesy, but there's more to that. It contains your genuine thoughts and feelings, the big and the small that you languished over, and most importantly, it contains the words both you and him have yet to utter.

It was really only recently when you'd find yourself thinking about it. Maybe it's too early —was enough to shut down your thoughts. It had only been 2 months, but you happily embraced his affection, his words, his voice, his touch, every moment with him felt enchanting to you. You were certain he felt the same and he would often express it with his eyes and the placement of his hands and indirectly if he was being vocal. The shared passion for one another was undeniable, and it only seems to be growing more and more as time goes by that even after the first heated argument you've had with him a while back, you two were able to recover and came out better than ever.

“Eat well hun'. It's better if you lay for the rest of the day.” your mom went over to you to caress your hair.

She had decided to call in sick for work to take care of you today, and you couldn't be more thankful.

You did what your mom advised you to and the whole day, you laid on your bed as you listened to the playlist Anton put together for you for your first monthsary to help you sleep or relax yourself.

————— ୨୧ —————

When you woke up, the sun was already setting. You weren't feeling any better from when you had fallen asleep which frustrated you a bit. You stood up and stayed there for a little bit, feeling dizzy. You suddenly heard a knock at your door. You weren't sure if it was your hazy mind making up the sounds or if it was real, but you still took weak steps to the door to answer it.

“Tonii?” you were engulfed in Anton's arms the moment you opened the door. “Why are you here?”

Anton didn't speak and led you back to your bed.

He had that look in his eyes again. It was the same eyes you saw that night at the flower fields.

“I love you too.”

Your heart was throbbing loudly and it was the only thing you could hear right after Anton's voice faded into your soul.

He didn't wait for you to respond as he knew you were feeling too weak to continuously speak, and so he cupped your cheek with his hand, while the other held your hand as he leaned in for his lips to slowly collide with yours.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

It was Anton's first time going into the student council office without you. He stood by the printer quietly trying to brush off the student council officers eyeing him as if he was eating up all the printing paper. He immediately rushed out once he got your essay printed.

He still couldn't believe the length of your essay as it was three pages long, even then, he was intrigued and wanted to read what you had put that made it so lengthy.

He decided to stay back in the classroom a little longer when lunch came around. He sat on his seat with his back against the wall next to him and started to read.

What's it like to love? an atypical query to have as a child, as you would think most in the age of innocence could only make time and thought for leisure and the attainment of joy, but young minds are always curious. The very first time I caught a glimpse of love was in the form of a field of flowers…

Anton was hooked and mesmerized with your potency.

…It was from it that I realized that if you truly loved, any ounce of pain, blood, or sweat will be overlooked. I failed to completely understand it back then, throughout my years of adolescence, I've had my fair share of misfortunes when it came to love. I was easily convinced that what I was feeling during those times were love despite the lack of sincerity from those who had taken my heart for granted. It took some time to accept that being 'young and stupid' is not just a phrase being thrown around as an excuse, but it's an indication of vulnerability. I had my time to heal and embarked on a journey to self-betterment, and I thought maybe love is waiting for me at some other point in my life, and this thought would later be contradicted…

Anton flipped over to the next page with a vivid mind.

…I am admittedly afraid of what the future holds. This man that had me smitten was one I never even acknowledged fully until much later. I had no idea what took so long for me to see him when he's been around since I've begun recklessly handing my heart out to others. To think back, if I had handed him my heart back then, maybe I would've been spared from all the tears I have shed because I know he would hold it dearly, close to his own…

…feelings I have never felt before, that I never even knew of, are now all I yearn for when the sky's painted black. It was with him that I understood what it was truly like to be appreciated, to be loved with no conditions. It's a pain to think that it could all disappear with a blink of an eye, but when he holds me close and looks into my eyes, I am assured. What's it like to love? to love, is him. It is he, my love, my one and only. I had liked you for 100 days, and today I declare, I love you, Anton Lee.

Your words plunged deep into his heart. Seeing his name after those words made him feel dazed, warm and just so, so in love. He wanted to see you, to feel you. He looked over to your empty desk and could see the specter of your smile against the light of the sun.

It had seemed as though you had written him a love letter with not much intention of receiving a high mark for your sleepless effort. But even if this task was not assigned, you would still plan on expressing everything you had written to him directly, for the 100th day.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You pushed Anton away gently, and very weakly so. You weren't able to actually make him back away, but he got the message and pulled back.

“You're gonna get sick too.” you faintly voiced out your worry.

Anton bit his lip and proceeded to make the heat in your body rise even more as he smiled. He gently pulled you closer to him, laying your head on his chest and wrapping you with his warm embrace.

“I love you so much.” he uttered under his breath, burying his face in your hair.

You just remained quiet, and snuggled even closer to him. Your arms would lazily make their way around his neck, and you would look up and express your love with your lips once more.

Anton went home with a sanguine tint on his cheeks, feeling so warm and fuzzy inside. Let's just say the warmth would become more literal than figurative, and you would definitely be the one to visit him the next day.

Fin.

｡��•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

#riize #riize au #riize fanfic #anton lee #briize #riize anton #riize fluff #riize x reader #Spotify

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seaside-writings · 1 year

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(Part 5 of 4)

Hello, all you wonderful, lovely people! I'm here with another prompt list for you all!

I know it's been a year since I posted a list having to do with the Scream franchise, but yesterday was the day that the fifth movie aired in theaters, and I thought it would be fun to celebrate by making a prompt list for it just like I did for the other movies.

As before with the other four lists, I’ve changed some stuff in the dialogue to help things be a little smoother.

I will also be linking the four other prompts in this list so if any of you want to check them out you can! And if you use these or any of the others prompts please credit/tag me so I can check what you created because I'd love to see it!

Now with all of that out of the way, please enjoy this prompt list!

I hope you all stay blessed and safe throughout your day.

Lots of Love & Wishes: Celia 💙

(1, 2, 3, 4)

Prompts:

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

"Do you remember the beginning?" "Not really. It started with a kill scene, right? They always started with a kill scene,"

"I’ve been through this. A lot,"

"It's happening, three attacks so far. Do you have a gun?" "Of course, I have a gun,"

"There are certain rules to surviving these types of movies. Rule #1: never trust the love interest. Rule #2: what is the killer's motive? Rule #3: the first victim always has a friend group that the killer's a part of,"

"Whatever his link is to our past, it's pulled us all back here,"

"I won't rest until he's in the ground,"

"You ready?" "For this? Never,"

"This is your life now, which means that whoever this is is going to keep coming for you,"

"Something about this one just feels different,"

"The killer is a part of something in the past,"

"You said we were going to finish this, so go finish this,"

"I'll be right back!" "... He's dead,"

"You mean like Halloween?" "No, not like Halloween," "Sounds a lot like Halloween,"

"You know that part in the horror movie where you’re screaming at the person to get the fuck out? This is that part; get the fuck out,"

"Are you kidding me? I've been stabbed nine times,"

"Have you ever been stabbed?"

"It's an honor,"

Bonus question, do you think I made it inside your house before you could rearm the alarm?

"The attacks were all on people related to the original killers,"

"You got stabbed a billion times, got dumped by your famous wife, and crawled into a bottle. I think it's safe to say, you're on the suspect list,"

"A non-answer counts as a wrong answer. Time's running out. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock,"

"She was attacked," "What? Is she-" "She's alive, but in bad shape. She was stabbed,"

"When there's a psycho out there, you make yourself harder to find. You delete social media, tape over your phone camera, and disable GPS,"

"Well, it's elevated horror," "What does that mean, (elevated horror?)" "You know, it's like scary, but with complex emotional and thematic underpinnings. It's not just some schlocky, cheeseball nonsense with wall-to-wall jumpscares,"

"I mean she could still die," "What the fuck!?" "Or the killer could come back for her,"

"I mean I've never seen "Gone With The Wind" either, but I don't consider it like a huge hole in my cinematic education,"

"I'm just telling you, arm up, okay? Pepper spray, pocket knife, taser, anything,"

"Every decade or so, some idiot gets the bright idea to put on the mask, kill his friends, and get famous too. The last time it happened was in 2011,"

"I have to make sure we don't get sliced up by some lunatic who saw Friday the 13th and thought, "You know what? That Jason guy, he's got some pretty solid ideas,"

"Oh, they're not the only ones I'm going to hurt; I had to get you back here somehow, didn't I?"

"And where were you when all of this happened?" "I was watching, Netflix," "Ooh, yeah, super solid alibi, bro,"

"Or, and I'm just spit-balling here, you're the killer,"

"It doesn't freak you out that my real father was a serial killer?" "I mean, yeah. A great deal, yeah,"

"Give me one good reason why I should talk to you," "The original killer is my father," "... That's a horrible reason for me to talk to you,"

"Because nobody takes the true fans seriously, not really. They just laugh at us, and why? Because we love something? We're just a fucking joke to them! How can fandom be toxic? It's about love! You don't fucking understand, these movies are important to people,"

"Thank goodness, you're okay! Because I really, really wanted to be the one to kill you,"

"Never fuck the daughter of a serial killer,"

"It's good to hear your voice,"

"Promise me. No matter what you hear or what you see on the news, don't come here," "No offense, but I have no intention of ever stepping foot in that town again,"

"You wanna fuck with me, asshole? I'm right here. Come and get me!" "With pleasure,"

"Whoever this killer is after, I'm glad they have you to protect them,"

"You are a lot of things, but you are NOT a coward,"

"Why are you doing this?" "Why? You wanna know why? Maybe it's because you're a selfish bitch who can't even make a decision to save the life of someone you love. Maybe you're too weak for this franchise," "Maybe you're right. Or maybe I'm just stalling for time, fuckhead!"

"You have to shoot them in the head, or they always come back,"

"I want you to help us kill him," "You want me to help you and the host of a morning show to commit murder?" "Correct," "Yeah,"

"I put a tracker on her car," "You did what?" "Seems like something you would do," "I'll take that as a compliment,"

"Oh, there's two of you... again,"

"You know, I'm a really big fan?" "Go fuck yourself,"

"You really need some new material," "I got you here, didn't I?" "You might actually be the most derivative one of all. I mean, really, the same house?"

"I started all this," "No, you didn't, the sick bastard started this, and we're gonna end it. After tonight, no more books, no more movies, no more fucking killers,"

"Help me! Help me! He stabbed me!" "What do you think?" "Trap,"

"Someone had to save the franchise!"

"You did all this just to make me the hero of your fucked-up movie?" "Sweetie, you’re not the hero. You’re the villain,"

"Fuck you!" "Well, now you’re just quoting the original,"

"What are you gonna do now, huh? Make a scary phone call to me? Pop your head out of the closet in a mask? You know, 'cause you're the villain? And the villain dies at the end! Those are the rules!"

"Wait! What about my ending?!"

"You know what the biggest problem of this franchise is? There’s no Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees, no bad guy to keep coming back. But the illegitimate daughter of the original mastermind? Now that’s a fucking villain,"

"Can’t have a bona fide Halloween without Jamie Lee!"

"I'm introducing a new rule,"

"You're not the reason Dad left. You didn't choose where you came from, or who you came from. I don't blame you for that. I blame you for leaving me, too," "That's never gonna happen again," "I know,"

"This time, it's gonna be the fans that win,"

"You really should’ve listened to him! He nailed it in one! "Dude, look at the love interest!" Are you fucking stupid?"

"I can't believe I get to do you both! No last-minute saves this time! Your story's over! Time to pass the torch!" "It's all yours, bitch!"

"Enjoy the torch,"

"Please, it's not my fault! I'm just a dumb kid, I just wanted to be a part of something!" "Apart of something? You killed me best friend!"

"I’m so sorry, we can’t let you live, either. I mean, surviving this many times, that would just be ridiculous,"

"You're not going anywhere without me. Don't worry, I'm gonna hold your hand the whole way there,"

"Not really a fan of scary movies," "That checks out,"

"I still prefer The Babadook,"

"It's always someone you know,"

"I've seen this movie before," "Not this movie,"

"Careful, they always come back,"

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riversimmone · 7 months

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In the Heat of the Moment

In The Heat of The Moment

RiverOfTheSand

Summary:

AU. This is what happens when the SasuSaku in my head is interrupted by Naruto and this alternate universe version of Team 7 get down and dirty on a hot day. Rated M for a reason. It is NOT REMOTELY YAOI OR YURI. It also has a SasuSaku moment...

Notes:

Cross-posting: I wrote this in 2011 so please forgive the weirdness and naivety of it. I don't think this needs the 'multi' category but if you disagree please let me know. Original fanfiction.net author note: AU one-shot. Okay, so for reference, it says on my profile that lately every time I try to write SasuSaku, Naruto pops into my head, looking for a threesome. Well, this is the result. Don't get confused, I'm not into reading or writing SasuNaru, nor writing NaruSaku, (the storyline has to be good enough for a NaruSaku for me to consider reading it), and this is NOT EVEN REMOTELY YAOI. Also: apologies for any and all OOCness. It is AU after all. This has come out more smut than I intended, but anyway… There's a threesome Sasuke/Sakura/Naruto and a SasuSaku lemon. Read, love, and review! :) Rated M. I hope you all enjoy. :)

Sakura Haruno fanned herself, cursing the sun and the humidity. Why oh why did it have to be so fucking hot? She had just had a cold shower to try to cool down, and was bloody hot again! Not to mention horny! She'd broken up with Sasori a week ago for cheating on her and was currently single. A part of her suddenly wished he would waltz up to her house right now and beg to fuck her one last time. She needed a scratch, so bad.

'Well there's always Sasuke,' she thought, staring over at him across the road; he was mowing his front yard, shirtless.

Sitting on the lounge chair on the front patio of her house, she was shaded, but hot, and very aware of the man hunk across the road.

She bit her bottom lip. 'Yeah right, like he would ever fuck me.'

Sasuke Uchiha was incredibly popular, despite his superiority complex. Hot, gorgeous and right now, very single! Sakura's eyes flickered over his nicely toned body as he worked away. That dark hair, those penetrating eyes, that glistening skin… The sound of a mocking voice drew her attention to the blonde sitting in the shadow of Sasuke's house, on the front patio and barely visible to her around the large tree in the front yard.

"Come on Sasuke!" Naruto Uzumaki cooed. "Put some effort into it!"

He stood and leant over the wooden railing of the patio and Sakura noticed that Sasuke wasn't the only one shirtless. She had to admit, his body was hot; that well toned, but lean body had her feeling as moist as the one that belonged to Sasuke.

'Stop fantasizing!' She snapped at herself. 'He's almost as popular as Sasuke!'

'And just as single,' a second voice in her head pointed out.

Groaning softly, Sakura stood as Sasuke started to berate his best friend, and stalked back into her house. She had only lived in Konoha for six weeks, having dated Sasori for two, and had yet to even speak to the hot, raven haired boy who lived across the road. The day her parents had forced her to move with them into this boring little town, she had been sulking quietly about taking this trip. When they'd arrived, she noticed Sasuke right away, sitting on his front porch and staring at her intently. Then Naruto had driven into the Uchiha driveway, and after a long, inaudible discussion on the patio (not to mention several glances in her direction), the boys had disappeared around the Uchiha house and into the backyard. Apparently, she wasn't worth their time. The oldest Uchiha sibling, Itachi, had come over to say hello, and even helped them move some of the heavier furniture. He was so sweet, so helpful, and soooo hot! But she quickly discovered he already had a girlfriend. Sakura had another cold shower and daydreamed about the air conditioner her parents had been promising for a week now. The holidays were killing her!

She watched television, surfed on the net, and then rang her new friend Ino Yamanaka to see if she was busy, realising too late that she had just interrupted her, mid-coitus.

Having hung up the phone, Sakura groaned. Everyone but her was getting laid. Then she jumped, startled as the cordless phone in her hand suddenly rang. It was her mother, reminding her to water the garden. She always worried about that, and Sakura always needed reminding.

The pinkette rolled her eyes. 'You and your shrubs, mother.'

Her parents were visiting friends for a few days, which at least gave Sakura some freedom for a while. So, she left the house and walked around the side to grab the hose. She was wearing short shorts and a small singlet, showing off her shape. She never tanned easily, just burnt in the sun. In the corner of her eye, she noted that Sasuke and Naruto were still in the Uchiha front yard, now both staring at her. They did this quite often. Naruto leant against the patio railing, while Sasuke stood rigidly in the shadow of the tree – both just watching her. She did not appreciate being turned into a spectacle, especially by two hot guys who didn't have the decency to speak to her instead of ogling!

But despite her annoyance at their stares, she had never once gone over there and berated them for it. Was she scared of them? They were both so popular at school that one bad word out of her mouth would send an army of fan girls to her house with pitchforks and flame torches. She shivered involuntarily.

But they wouldn't stop staring. Sakura hosed down the carnations and sunflowers (or whatever flower that was, that her mother was into this month) and spun around to face her audience. Sasuke's face remained impassive but even from this distance she could see the grin spreading across Naruto's.

'That is it!'

Fuming, Sakura stalked over to them. "What the hell do you two think you're staring at?"

"You," Sasuke said, nonchalantly and Naruto chuckled.

"Well, stop it!"

"No." The raven haired boy did not look intimidated by her, or offended. Naruto continued to grin at her.

She frowned. "Why not?"

Sasuke sighed and the blonde answered for him. "Because you're so fucking hot."

She felt her jaw drop. 'W-what did you say?"

Naruto jumped over the patio railing and landed lithely on the ground next to his friend. "I said you're hot. Only an idiot wouldn't want to fuck you."

That inner voice of hers flared up.

'Oh really, then why have neither of you tried?'

But outside of her head, she didn't know what to say. She was frustrated at their behaviour and a little turned on by the expressions they were both now casting her way, but the strongest sensation was the dancing butterflies forming in her stomach.

Sasuke saved her. "Naruto and I are best friends. We have been since before we could pronounce the words properly. So when we both saw you when you first moved in and both wanted to fuck you, we couldn't. Do you see the dilemma?"

Slowly, she nodded her head, mute and in shock.

'The bonds of friendship are more important to them than a contest to get laid.'

So, he was saying that he and Naruto don't ever compete with each other over girls. Most male friends entered these kinds of contests with each other. Sakura had learnt this the hard way at her old school, having lost her virginity to a guy who just wanted to win a bet with his friends. And even though Sasori hadn't made a bet with his friends to sleep with her (that she knew of), she had fucked him enough times to know that life was just plain cruel. It had just been sex for him, anyway.

But because of her natural tendency toward secrecy and respect for her own private life, people thought she was less experienced than she really was.

"Normally," Naruto said seriously, "teme and I have entirely different tastes in girls. This makes it easier not to ruin our friendship. We've never wanted to fuck the same girl like this before."

Sakura's eyes widened. 'Like what?'

She swallowed heavily, struggling to control her breathing under the intense glare of them both. They looked so collected, yet ravenous at the same time.

"And me?" She asked, only half-heartedly wanting to know the answer.

Sasuke smiled. She had yet to see him do that. It was always boredom, irritation or a smirk on his face. "It seems we've reached an impasse," he stated. "And there's only one option left, other than pretending from here on out, that you don't exist."

"Which is very difficult," Naruto added, his eyes raking her body. "Especially when you're dressed like that." He indicated to her skimpy clothes and she narrowed her eyes at him warningly.

He grinned. "All we're saying is this needs an immediate resolution."

Sakura felt suddenly wary. "What kind of resolution?"

"A three-way," Sasuke said matter-of-factly, making the pinkette blush profusely.

"Or one at a time," Naruto interjected, "if the idea of a threesome creeps you out."

Sakura was having trouble breathing. The two hottest guys in school were both attracted to her, and wanted her AT THE SAME TIME! She forced herself to calm down, not wanting to give herself a stroke. It was hot enough already, even though she was shaded under the large tree that stood in Sasuke's front yard.

While Sasuke looked his usual, aloof self, Naruto's face conveyed hope and just a hint of concern. It was incredibly cute.

'Oh my god girl, they both want to fuck you! Calm the fuck down and just jump them already!'

She knew she wanted to, and that just the thought of sliding naked between them was getting her hot, but she worried all the same. What would happen after? Would they just go back to staring at her from across the road anyway? Or would they revert to their first option and decide to pretend she didn't exist? She really didn't want to be used again. It was an old song for her.

Sakura inhaled deeply, and they waited patiently, noting her concern. But neither attempted to alleviate her worries – they wanted her to make this decision herself, no pressure. Still, in some small, twisted way, that inner voice of hers was right. And with that thought, she decided, holding herself straight and taking a deep breath before speaking.

"I've had a threesome before. They don't scare me."

Both boys were surprised by her audacity, but Sasuke hid it well.

Naruto grinned at her. "So you're all for it?"

She nodded and both of them inhaled softly, as if in anticipation.

"Sure," she said, "as long as this isn't some trick to humiliate me."

"Why would we do that?"

She pulled a face at the blonde and he chuckled. Sasuke stood straight; he had been leaning against the tree. He smirked.

"Your place or mine?"

Naruto burst out laughing and Sakura giggled. "Do you have air-conditioning?"

The Uchiha nodded.

"You don't?" Naruto asked. "In this heat?"

She sighed. "My parents are lazy asses."

"Come on," Naruto took her hand, "let's get you inside."

Sakura was nervous yes, considering whose house this was and what they were about to do. That threesome she had had was with Sasori and a girl who lived down the road from him, called Karin. Sakura knew her from Sasuke's fan club, but had had no idea that she'd had her eyes on Sasori as well.

'That should've been my first hint,' she thought.

Sakura noted how much nicer the Uchiha house was compared to hers – not just the sweet cool air from the air con, but the more expensive furniture, the uncluttered wall cabinets that hinted they had a professional cleaner, but also the glass back patio doors and the bone white walls and fixtures. She was glad she hadn't invited the boys back to her place.

"Teme's room is upstairs," Naruto said, after Sakura declined their offer of 'nourishments' in the kitchen.

He led the way, with the pinkette in the middle. She smirked at that. Sasuke's room was a surprise to Sakura. There were no posters of naked or half naked women, and he had an adjoining bathroom. But the bed covers were a dark blue and he had his own entertainment system – a HD TV, surround sound, desktop computer (and a laptop sitting next to it), and with stereo system hooked up that could shake the furniture.

Sasuke noticed her approval and smirked. "You should see Itachi's room."

Sakura turned toward the bed. It was king sized. Naruto and Sasuke were already shirtless, and she sighed at their intrigued expressions. They were waiting for her to even the playing field. This gave her a boost of confidence.

She giggled. "You two are so typical."

She lifted her singlet over her head, revealing the white, lacy bra underneath, and dumped it on the floor. Sakura then sat on the edge of the bed, undid her shorts, and slipped them off. The boys were clearly every excited, by both her barely covered breasts and the slight shape under her white and pink knickers.

Sakura giggled again. "Come on, don't leave a girl hanging."

They undid their respective pants, pulling down their underwear and climbed onto the bed – Sasuke on the right, Naruto on the left. She realised suddenly that they'd had threesomes with girls before – well perhaps with four of them. There was this rumour shortly after Sakura had arrived in Konoha, that Sasuke and Naruto had been caught on school grounds having sex with two girls. It had been a very erotic rumour.

She wondered briefly if it had had less to do with their friendship, and more to do with actual girlfriends, or something like that. The rumours never did say for sure, but it was implied.

Sakura licked her lips, eyeing them off. They were both well endowed, though Sasuke looked about half an inch longer. She tore her eyes away from their limp organs and pushed herself backwards on the bed. She wanted a little foreplay first. They both grinned at her – though Sasuke's was more like a smirk – clearly seeing who she would choose first. A little teasing was in order. She wanted to fuck Sasuke more than Naruto, but didn't want the blonde to realise this, so she summoned him over to her with a wiggle of her finger. She gave him permission to remove her bra, and then as Naruto lowered his lips to her hardened nipples, she shifted her right leg to indicate without words for Sasuke to move. He repositioned himself and slid his fingers under her panties, pulling them off of her in one swift movement.

Sakura moaned, her left hand playing with Naruto's hair as Sasuke spread her legs. She was already wet from the attention so far. He noticed this and ran his fingers along the inside of her thighs before dipping his head between them. Sasuke's tongue played with her clitoris and she sighed with contentment. He nibbled it softly for a moment and then moved his exploration to her wet sex, parting her folds with his fingers.

Sasuke tongue fucked her roughly, and she arched her back, her body shuddering uncontrollably. At the sound of her cries, Naruto moved his mouth off of her breasts (his left hand continued to squeeze them alternatively) and travelled up to her throat, her jaw line, her cheek and then finally, she parted her lips to let him in. His kiss was tantalising, his tongue on fire as she wrapped an arm around the back of his head, pulling him to her to deepen the kiss. And boy did Naruto know how to kiss!

She was on sensory overdrive; Sasuke's thrusting sending involuntary shivers of warmth upward through her body, as Naruto occupied her nipples and mouth in a wave of groans emanating from them both.

She bit Naruto's bottom lip as Sasuke grinded her pussy. It was all too much to bear, and letting the shudder of her body take control, she came into Sasuke's mouth. Sakura tried to control her breathing as both boys pulled away. She was so blissful right then, not quite recovered when they switched places. After Naruto made her come again, she realised that he was better at the kissing, while Sasuke was better at getting the juices flowing.

She sat up with great effort, and noticed that both boys were almost erect. Just the sight of her, flustered, flushed and naked was enough to give their dicks a 'leg up', but turning her on had taken them so much higher. It was her turn. She grabbed both their dicks gently, Naruto's in her left hand, Sasuke's in her right, and started to rub them softly, making both of their faces glaze over as the pleasure took hold.

She sucked on Naruto first, giving him throbbing, before moving onto Sasuke's. Sakura was enjoying herself. For the first time since she had walked in on Sasori and Karin fucking in his living room, the pinkette was actually having fun. She licked, caressed, and sucked their dicks, letting the full lengths of their shafts enter her mouth, but once they were both sufficiently hard, the muscles aching to release, she pulled away.

So far, Sakura had played nice, giving them equal attention. But her urge to fuck Sasuke was the strongest and she no longer intended on ignoring this. Still, the deal had been that she fucked them both, at the same time, and if she was going to let Naruto fuck her arse, she was going to do it right. The walls inside there were easier to tear, as there was no cum to moisten it.

She cleared her throat. "Sasuke, do you have any kind of lubricant?"

"Hn."

The boys realised what she was up to when she squirted the lubricant Sasuke had handed her onto her hands and started to lather Naruto's penis. He was quite enjoying it, she could tell. He didn't seem to mind that she wanted Sasuke at the front. His endearing smile and pleasant temperament had her bedazzled. If she was up to it after, she would let him in the front after, but Sakura had never had a three-way like this before, and wasn't about to make a promise to herself that she would not be too exhausted to keep.

Sasuke had also collected a box of condoms from his bedside drawer and Sakura waited as he put one on. He and Naruto sat on their calves – facing each other – with Sakura between them, facing Sasuke. With Sasuke sheathed and Naruto lubricated, Sakura lifted herself over the best friends, using Sasuke for support as Naruto held his hands to her hips to steady her balance. The bulbous tips of their lengths lifted up to meet her wet sex as the boys rose to their knees and Sakura let out an involuntary half-scream as they both entered her.

'Kami, that is good…'

It was so different as well. With her legs apart as far as they could go in this position, Sasuke and Naruto both helped to support her. She moved with them, moaning in delight with every thrust, every grind that sent her senses into overdrive once more. Her body trembled without permission and she barely noticed that Naruto was using his left hands to fondle her breasts from behind while Sasuke had taken to fiddling with her clitoris, his fingers rubbing circles around the bud. Kami, this was heaven!

While Naruto pressed up against her and kissed her left earlobe every time his dick dug deeper, she held tightly to Sasuke's shoulders as he stared intently into her eyes, their foreheads pressed together. He seemed unable to speak, only exhaling deep moans that coincided with his own, thrusts.

Sakura barely had to move her own hips, being pounded so deeply from both ends, but she kept the momentum going nonetheless, not wanting to let the boys do all the work. The look on Sasuke's face showed that he appreciated it, and Naruto started to whisper his dirty thoughts to her, his warm breath tickling her ear.

Sakura could feel herself starting to climax.

"I'm… almost… there.."

She mewled, the words erupting out of her in between half-screaming groans, and the boys moaned their agreement. They pushed harder, grinding faster and her breasts were bouncing up and down now, her body rising and falling with greater speed. After a few minutes, they pressed themselves tightly to her, so much so that Sasuke's chest was now inhibiting the bobbing of her breasts. His head rested on her right shoulder, Naruto's on her left.

Three… two… one…

Sakura cried out as she came, and then groaned with a tremble of her body as both boys let looses inside of her. Except that Naruto's cum filled the passage in her arse, while Sasuke leaked into the condom he was still wearing. God, she was buggered. She didn't move, trying to regain some energy before separating herself from the boys. They didn't seem to want to move either, both still resting inside of her. Sakura closed her heavy eyelids, intending on just resting for a moment.

Sasuke realised she was falling asleep from the exhaustion and lifted her head up. "Naruto, we better move before she passes out."

Sakura made a soft, mewl of complaint as they pulled out of her that was greeted by satisfied smirks as they laid her back against the pillows on Sasuke's bed.

"I think we wore her out, teme."

"Fuck Naruto, what was your first clue?"

"No need to get snappy… is she asleep?"

Sasuke looked down at the pinkette, whose eyes were now tightly shut. "Yeah, I think so."

"Damn, she was good."

Sasuke smiled at that. "Yeah, I was surprised too."

"But…" The blonde trailed off.

Sasuke knew his friend too well. "You want a frontal fuck."

It wasn't a question.

Naruto sighed, his eyes trailed down Sakura's body, from those full, glistening breasts, down to that delicious pussy of hers. He was an unusual creature, one moment wanting to push his raw shaft into her sex hard and fast, the next satisfied with the arse fuck and ready to leave. Sasuke smirked at him, knowing he had no intention of asking any more of the pinkette.

"Where are you going, teme?"

"To have a shower, dobe. Stay with her in case she wakes up."

Sakura didn't feel Naruto lay down next to her, or his fingers brushing the hair out of her eyes. He continued to rape her with his eyes however, sighing as he knew also that nothing more was going to happen here. She also didn't hear the ring tone on his mobile or his cussing as he jumped off the bed and answered his phone. It was his mother and he was expected home.

"Yeah, I'm at teme's place, alright, I'm coming home."

He hung up on her. Naruto dressed and shook Sakura softly. She was under deep, so he let her be and exited the house. Sasuke knew him well enough to know he'd have left under protest, so he didn't concern himself. Teme wouldn't be rousing on him anytime soon.

Sakura woke up a little while later, alone in Sasuke's bed, naked but under the covers. Someone had made sure she felt comfortable when she woke up. She waited for a minute, then realised that she was indeed alone. Annoyed, she got out of the bed and found her clothes, dressing absentmindedly. But more than annoyed, she was embarrassed. She still couldn't believe she had just had sex with both Sasuke and Naruto at the same time. She heard a sound coming from the kitchen when her feet touched the bottom of the internal staircase a few minutes later. She was torn between her desire to just run for it, and the scent in the air of food cooking. The overwhelming smell of sex lingering in Sasuke's bedroom had driven her out of there as she'd hurriedly dressed, and even though she was now decent and had recovered from her 'encounter', she was suddenly wary about facing Sasuke again.

That was a different kind of threesome, where she had been the centre of attention, so she still felt uneasy about it. She'd felt her insides pressed from both ends to an extreme she couldn't put into words. It made her giddy just thinking about it. Once upon a time, she worried if she ever had a threesome that she'd become some kind of slut, which she now knew had nothing to do with it, but one more time in that position, pressed against two hot and very male bodies and it was likely to push her over the edge. And despite how horny this unusual heatwave in Konoha had made her feel, she still valued relationships more than sex.

'But not by much.'

'Shut up!'

That was so not true.

'I hate you, inner Sakura.'

"Sakura?"

She mentally slapped herself. She'd let out a soft gasp at the strange thoughts going through her head, and now Sasuke's voice was acting like a magnet and she was being pulled into the kitchen.

"You don't have to run off in shame," he said.

She noticed Naruto was nowhere to be seen. "I'm not ashamed of what we did."

He raised his eyebrows at her. "Pickles."

She couldn't help the giggles. "What?"

He looked serious. "I like pickles. What about you? You can help yourself to anything you want."

"Why?"

"Sex makes me hungry," he said blandly.

"I have food at my house I can eat."

"But you don't have air-conditioning."

Sakura frowned at him. "If you want me to stay and eat your food, then just come right out and say it."

"I want you to stay and eat my food."

"Alright, but I hate pickles."

He smirked. "So you'd prefer something a bit more sweet?"

"Yep."

"I can't stand anything too sweet," he said, watching her raid his fridge, expressionless.

His eyes trailed over her body instinctively, but what was taking centre stage in his mind was the fluttering of his heart. Naruto had clearly left, but had sent Sasuke a text that he'd scratched his itch. It meant that he was returning to trying to seduce Hinata Hyuuga. The girl was virginal, beautiful and had favourably sized breasts. The downside? She was high society, and for Naruto, 'untouchable'. Sasuke had never seen Naruto and Hinata in the same room together, so he wasn't sure if the Hyuuga would go for his friend or not. Still, he wished his best mate good luck.

'He's gonna need it.'

And of course, that meant that if he wanted to, Sasuke could have Sakura all to himself. He really wanted to. He couldn't explain his need for her with words. Until now, he'd thought that all it was was that he wanted to fuck her. But he had just done that, and this strange feeling was still there. He wasn't a complete idiot. He knew now that he had feelings for her. But how deep could they possibly run? After all, he didn't actually know her all that well, if at all.

"Are you okay, Sasuke?" Sakura asked realising the Uchiha was deep in thought.

He just nodded, so she ate her meal quietly. He kept his eyes on her the whole time, and she was reminded of how he and Naruto had been staring at her outside this house. She pushed her plate away.

"So, it's back to the whole staring thing again, huh?" She asked, pouting but not actually annoyed.

Sasuke smirked. "Hn. You're still wearing that outfit."

"It's a singlet and shorts Sasuke, it's hardly an outfit."

"Well, it's turning me on, either way."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not fucking you again."

He sighed, disappointed. "While sleeping with you again, is definitely on my mind, there's something else I wanted to ask you."

"What is it?"

"My father's hosting the policeman's ball this weekend –"

"And what, you want me to be your date?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Then what –"

"I never go to those stupid dances," he said matter-of-factly. "Itachi does. I wanted to know if you'll go out with me, somewhere far, far away from the ridiculous ball."

Sakura stood up, walked over to him, and stopped only a few inches away. "You want me to be your girlfriend?"

"Forget it!" He snapped. "If you're going to be sarcastic about it –"

She cut him off with a kiss, throwing her arms around his neck and hesitating only for a moment, Sasuke returned the kiss, his hands falling to her waist. She tantalized him with her tongue, sending shivers down his spine. Okay, he was falling for her, but these emotions were still confusing to him. He had never been in love before….

Sakura pulled out of the kiss and rested her forehead on his. "What about that speech you and Naruto gave me about how friends come first?"

"Well, Naruto's gone back to trying to seduce Hinata Hyuuga."

"Really?"

"Hn."

"Who's Hinata Hyuuga?"

Sasuke laughed softly. "I forgot you're new in town. You haven't heard about the Hyuuga family?"

"The family yes, but not Hinata. None of their names are familiar to me."

"Well anyway," he said, not wanting to dwell on that. "Will you go out with me?"

"Oh yes Sasuke-kun, most definitely, yes."

He leant in to kiss her again and lifted her up to sit on the kitchen table. Despite her earlier comment, Sasuke was suddenly hard, and lowered his hand to caress her clothed breasts. She moaned into his mouth, her lips parted to let him in. He really wanted it, right now, so to coax her he rubbed her nipples with both thumbs, in circular motions. This elicited a soft mewl of appreciation from her mouth. He pressed his erection against her and her eyes widened, realising how much he wanted from her.

But before she could stop him, he unzipped his jeans to release his readied flesh. He pulled her shorts down to her ankles, spread her legs, parted her knickers at her wet sex, and slammed into her core without a moment's hesitation. She half-screamed, both shocked, and excited by the sudden penetration. He groaned as her hands flew out, knocking kitchen utensils onto the floor.

Sakura rolled her eyes. Okay, so she was fucking him again after all. He was incorrigible. It had to be that Uchiha dominating streak she'd heard so much about. She leant backward against the table with her hands for support and cried out, moving her hips down to meet his.

"S-Sasuke-kun! Harder! Aah!"

He groaned. "Fucking hell."

His hands lifted her singlet and pulled the straps of her bra down to expose her breasts without removing any articles of clothing. He cupped her breasts, thrusting harder now, and biting her bottom lip softly. He hadn't given her time to moisten, but she was already partway there, feeling his erection and his hands on her. Sakura called out Sasuke's name, swearing and moaning her pleasure at the top of her lungs, writhing under his grasp.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" He grunted in time with every plunge.

Sasuke grabbed her ass cheeks and pulled her toward him with every thrust heightening the sensation. The table shook dangerously underneath them but they ignored it. He continued to grind her, and a few minutes later, they both came together. Sasuke rested his head on her shoulders, still nestled inside of her, and she ran her hands through his dark hair lovingly. It was so exhausting; he couldn't believe he'd gotten it all out so easily. He knew from experience that he couldn't handle too much sex in one day. But this was close to the last time and he planned to take the rest of the day to recuperate.

Sakura lifted his head to look in his eyes. "That's what you get for not asking for permission first."

She'd noted his extreme fatigue and laced her words with sarcasm, but her mouth twitched into a seductive smile and he returned the affection.

"Come on," he said, kissing her swiftly and pulling away. "Let's go up to my room."

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him, trying to figure out what he was planning, as she slid off the table and fixed her clothes.

Sasuke smirked. "Don't worry, I won't be trying that again for today. But my house has air-conditioning, and better yet, my bed still smells of sex."

She rolled her eyes. "Alright, but just keep her hands and… other things where they should be."

He grinned at her wickedly and having turned away from him, she didn't notice the mischievous glint in his eyes.

X X X

#sasusaku #sasuke x sakura #narusaku #naruto x sakura #narusasusaku #not yaoi #fanfiction #my ao3 #All images are not mine

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 2 years

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tuesday again 9/20/2022

it's been a minute since i gave a refresher on what the fuck these posts/this series is. not bc anyone was a dick lately, i just think it's good to insert handy entry points into a long-running series on occasion. i think this post where i read a whole bunch of pulp detective fiction is most representative of the series as a whole (and is one that came together in a very satisfying way/one of the entries i am happiest with)

what the fuck this is

this is an incentivized way to get me to listen to new music, read something, watch something, play something, and make something every week bc if i do a variety of enrichment i am noticeably better able to cope with uhhhhh Life. it's also a way to curb some of the perfectionism bc there is a hard fucking deadline every week.

what the fuck this is not

this is not a critical series, nor is this a recommendation series, although there are elements of critique and you may decide to consume some art based on my description of it. i cannot legally or physically stop you. this is more of a journal than anything else.

elements i have in the back of my mind when i draft these things on sunday afternoons include: what's the pitch for this thing/what is it? does it accomplish the artistic goal i think it's trying to make? a work can be beautiful, and i can recognize its value and be glad it exists in the world and also hate it, so do i personally like the way it does or does not accomplish its goals? how did i find out about this work? lastly is it sick as shit?

listening pretty boy by poutyface. i get kind of excited when i hear a song that objectifies a Type of Guy bc i feel like there's maaaaybe one of these for every hundred thousand that objectifies a Type of Girl. it's now on a playlist i call "SOMEBODY COME FUCK THIS (GAY)"

this is alt/indie, for the scene in a mid-aughts high school movie where the alt girl is falling in love with a skinny nerd and is driving around suburbia thinking about him. lyrics remind me a little bit of Doja Cat, and i was gratified to find an interview where she's cited as inspiration bc i like being right

To be honest, I've been gunning for the girls So if it's gonna be a boy, it's gonna be a boy who twirls All that "bro" - got me bored, yeah, I've seen it all before But, I've never seen a boy dressed up in pearls

youtube

the other thing stuck in my head is Guilty as Charged by Moderator. this whole album is super fun but my favorite track is this one, slinky and danceable. my weakness is a song that samples an unexpected source (here i thiiiiink Monty Python and the Holy Grail?). here this review says it better than i can:

...eclectic taste in sounds and influences and thirdly his firm belief that using breakbeats and a dusty jazz sample doesn’t automatically require you to turn in a 70 bpm stoner groove....Wish I Was Dead picks up the pace pitting fat mid tempo drums against Cab Calloway-ish jazz samples before Guilty As Charged drops a huge Wiseguys-style Latin-influenced breakbeat bounce.

youtube

both these are off the spotify For You playlist, bc i did a lot of driving for work last week and didn't really have time to make a custom playlist.

reading continually fascinated by things pushing the limits of 1) electronics miniaturization and 2) crime. it's extremely unlikely you'll run into one of these puppies in real life but they are fun to think about in a semi-horrified fashion

this is half the height of a united states dime, btw. if you even care. BOY do i love a gadget.

watching i watched the s/andman. i have a lot of thoughts about the s/andman. this is more me working through a lot of thoughts and feelings than actual thoughts about the show.

i don't have a lot of close friends who are straight dudes. i don't have a lot of close friends who started out as straight dudes either. the one straight dude i was actually close friends with in 2011 in high school introduced me to the works of neilman and started by gently bullying me into reading these. i had an exceptionally bad time in high school, through no fault of this man. we also don't talk much in the current day, again through no fault of this man.

my thoughts and feelings about s/andman the product are therefore wrapped up in who i was and things that were happening in my life when i read the comics. the first time i read them, it was through trial and duress and many interlibrary loans in 2011. i made my dad buy me the first two giant omnibi editions over two christmases and lugged them around throughout college when i was moving twice a year and living out of suitcases. not my photo

reading these comics, with their nineties #representation, felt very revolutionary and daring in the republican suburbs of central jersey. they definitely started me on the way to unlearning a whole bunch of shit. however, i do wish neilman had continued being at the forefront of more and more interesting and daring #representation. i think you can enjoy all the shows based on his work, acknowledge their source material was written decades ago, and be lightly annoyed with him (an extremely active and involved producer by all accounts) for not adapting them in a bolder way to these modern times.

a different but related thing: i really love the concepts of neilman's books but rarely their execution, even though i think he's a perfectly fine prose writer. i enjoy heavily referential and allusive works bc i feel really smart when i catch a reference. i like feeling smart and well-read, even though i personally find most of the references in the comics to be name-drops rather than like, putting the name-dropped thing in a very different context and imagining it in a different context to give it new meaning. to be fair this is a very difficult literary device for me, an amateur, to execute. idk

the actual show: the s/andman is excellently made, very competent television that knew when to deploy its cliffhangers. this feels like a backhanded compliment but i don't know how to phrase it different. i think neilman is a far better television writer than a prose one. i enjoyed watching it! it was fun to watch! the performances really carried a lot of lines that are very silly in print! i'm not going to remember very much of it by next week. i am particularly irritated by the current-day meta around the show (specifically the co/rinthian, bc i think ppl are reading in a lot of things that simply aren't fucking there), but at the same time i do not care enough to go looking for more meta. these transitions did whip tho

my thoughts and feelings about neilman's specific body of work in this one setting: a land of contrasts

playing fallow week

making nothing more than wiping down new acquisitions (some board games, a mirror). wrote a bit about my concept of literary/film/artistic criticism while trying to work through my thoughts about the watching section. this post would have been fucking unreadable if i had all that in this one post and both of them individually are really stretching the limits of attention here on this webbed site.

ppl have also been asking for the masterlist of cowboy movies i enjoyed so here's that again. the notes are crucial to your understanding of my thought process

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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levmada · 1 year

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omg whats your fav fall out boy album(s)?? i'm excited for their new one esp cause mania was... not really my favorite....... but the singles they've dropped so far sound promising😙

sorry i had to ask after your last post talking about them cause i love them too lmao

NOOO AHHHHH IM SO GLAD U ASKED😈l

bro it is so hard to pick a fav out of their first 4 albums. however i love EVERYTHING off folie a deux. every single track. every lyric. especially west coast smoker… 27… disloyal order of water buffalo… 20$ nosebleed -

has to be folie a deux for all time fav album by them

from under the cork tree was a huge part of my adolescence too. FUCKING infinity on high with bang the doldrums and mmrs.

i was like. 13 when they came out with save rock and roll and it was rly good but still not nearly as idk. like with their early stuff before they went on hiatus, that shit was like lightning striking. it prob couldn’t ever be as good.

(also kinda unrelated but idk who to tell about this. mcr came out with danger days in 2011. one of the biggest rock bands right? and RIGHT AFTER that notice the multiple bands that came out with concept albums with the whole “defy authority” “post-apocalypse” type concept. black veil brides. crown the empire. ofc fall out boy. others i’m forgetting. but yeah)

and like i said, around the time american beauty american psycho came out i kindaaaa lost interest. it’s not bad for a band to change its sound - it’s natural - but i didn’t like the direction they were going in. wasn’t my thing and also mania sucked. i heard young and menace when it came out as a single and i was packing up the first 4 albums in a suitcase and leaving💀

HOWEVER that single i was sent was magical. im excited too!! . made even better by the fact brendon urie fucked off from shitting all over patd’s legacy. ugh fuck that guy but that’s an essay for another post -

#kane has mail #revealing my true emo self on my anime fucker blog

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the-firebird69 · 7 months

Text

Just as a correction that last posting the name is not Fred with Thor it's Freya and it comes up every time I say it almost well it's about 30% of the time and it's very annoying and some jackass doing it and then another one and another one and it's ridiculous stuff your culture for thousands of years has been not to wake the Giant yet you're here waking the Giant and I understand it's a different time and you're trying to do your program and you're trying to grab my people it's extremely illegal and we have police we have paramilitary police we have military we have spies infiltrators demons heavy weaponry spaceships and everything that a full-blown army would have and we will respond to respond in kind to your attempt to attacks as we have and your duplicitous nature just seen in your letter to your own people and you also are in a great deficit of knowledge about why in your situation and you blame us a lot it's ignorance and you blame your Ford group that's ignorance and you tend to say you're correct all the time no matter what and that's ignorance and the spice and brain damage if you want to find some infirm people look in your own ranks they're screaming and yelling at people they're shouting that they're right all the time and it does nothing but cause your own injury what your credo is as represented by a letter you're after sick and stupid people and obviously when you're dealing with huge armies that can wipe out areas which might have you in it you might be sick and stupid those bunkers are made with concrete and they're not that hard to remind you it doesn't matter a couple hits and they're open you're seeing all sorts of things that are going to try tits you're making war on your own and you were doing with these people are doing to get rid of themselves it's not funny and it's not a laughing matter and Mac is right what he said and I don't want to put up with it anymore you're keeping me poor because you're idiots you become stupid a lot of you are inbred just like the McDonald's some of them came out okay so they're in your midst so have a nice day

Zues Hera

We do hear what you're saying it's not really nice or Fair but that's what's going on they're looking at people and saying what are you saying you're nuts and they're scanning them their brains are messed up and or they are messed up and yeah they're going to have a great time they're going to be small they probably will help us a lot no it will I can't even trade with them there cuz theyre screaming ass Mike too

And some of them are probably from the McDonald's crowd and Trump if they're screaming at them what it really means is I'm here I can take the homeless captain and we can all do that and run the show it's kind of insanity but that's what they're like

Zues haha that was a really funny laugh I can hear him in space and there's a funny laugh too in Arthur 2011 and it's on the horse or scream really there's a funny laughing there too it sounds like my husband the guy hasn't nailed cuz he's trying to beat him to try and take his body over cuz he's an idiot people's bodies yourself you suck at it you come out as yourself you're saying one minute Becca you mother f***** it's not you she got her body back okay stick in the mud now she's saying stuff to me she used to say yeah yeah showing me her butt

Hahaha okay she gets really angry and it says you'll regret it but I'm going to get you and she's flirting with him and it's terrible I don't like it

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mrsmaybank · 3 years

Text

Honey - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spencer and the reader were very much in love during Reid’s brief stint in Pasadena. When he has to see her again on a case, he is super nervous.

a/n: first section is inspired by such great heights

C/W: Swearing

PASADENA - 2002

A note from the love of your life is a lovely way to wake up.

------

When you can understand everything but yourself, finding somebody who does is like seeing a comet; disappointingly rare. My shaky hands can only be stilled by the smile of my most incandescent--in every connotation--creature, and that is you. The universe always seems to know what it is doing even if humanity does not. The stars align and move in patterns we as it’s audience do not fully understand. I think we have watched the stars so much the universe has aligned us as a favor to our poor, overestimated souls. I am so grateful! Tolstoy noted that "We are asleep until we fall in love!” And I thank you for waking me up.

However I thought it best the favor not be returned this particular morning. You were up late last night, and looked too cute to disrupt. Do not kill me, I am getting coffee.

I love you and do not leave the bed.

-Spencer

------

Only Spencer Reid would write that on a sticky note, and only for you would he do so.

You heard the rattling of keys and a door being opened and shut as Spencer made his way back to your bedroom. The smile you saw on his face was the start of a story that ended on the upturn of your lips, revealing the two protagonists in a mad frenzy of love. As soon as he reached you, your lips pressed to his in a desperation to be impossibly closer.

“Hi.” he said.

I am thinking it's a sign

That the freckles in our eyes

Are mirror images

And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned

“Hey love.” you tucked a loose brown hair back behind his ear for a closer look at the face you adored. “Please get back in bed.”

He sighed but crawled in next to you, big nimble hands making their way across your torso to diminish the space in between you two. You nuzzled into his chest.

“Your note was beautiful.” you whispered into his ear.

A big, goofy grin spread along his face.

“I meant every word.” his voice so sweet, it sounded dipped in honey.

Honey is incredibly sticky.

-----

There had to have been a world where it all worked out.

In this world, my things never got old, and the ice cubes in my coffee never melted. I could listen to that song over and over again without draining the life out of it and I could like my hair style for more than three months.

Spencer had read to me the greatest works of the world. Words of the greatest thinkers, authors, and minds. He had an appreciation for them greater than those of the average passerby and I adored that, because so did I. Truly, our similarities are what connected us. Our minds were correlated perfectly when it came to subjectivity.

In accordance to human nature however, certain matters were never agreed upon. In particular, we argued about the future. The canyon of discrepancy so vast it tore us and our love in two. I didn’t think that was possible.

I wanted to write the book and watch the film as I lived my life and he and his arrogant over-practically thought that impossible. He thought himself an oneirocritic, but my dreams were not looking for critiques.

Like I said, Spencer read to me the greatest works of the world. And years would pass and the heartbreak and sorrow would fade, but I would always find it ironic how the last thing I ever heard in that honey soaked voice was a work of Confucius. “Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.”

Spencer chose to go to Washington. He took his heart and a piece of mine with him.

-----

BAU JET - 2011

Seaver must’ve noticed my flinch when the sound of her name resonated through the jet. I’d never liked going to California, but this...this had never happened. “That name mean something to you Reid?” She smiled, “You look kind of horrified.”

I ran my hands through my hair in a futile attempt to ground myself. “No. I just...I used to know her.”

In between the fine lines of love and hate, fell a blurry midsection where feelings came before logic and screams and whispers sounded the same. She ruled over this midsection of chaotic emotional fury.

Morgan spoke, and I quickly realized I might be falling into a conversation I really did not want to be having. “How the hell d’you know her pretty boy?”

There was no point in lying on a plane completely occupied by profilers. My best option was to clumsily dodge any direct questions about just how well I knew her.

“I’m from the West coast.”

“So are over 50 million people. You mean to tell me you know all of them?” he laughed.

“The exact estimation is actually 53,492,270. And no, I’m not saying I know all of them, Morgan. I lived in Pasadena for a year after I graduated from Caltech.”

“Okay?” Morgan questioned my previous statements relevancy.

“She went to USC. We were in the same social circle.”

Morgan laughed again, “You had a social circle?”

Emily, next to us, was presumably combing through her file.

“You, ultimate three doctorate dorky dork, were in the same circle as a film major?” she asked. “

What the hell is ‘doctorate dorky dork’ supposed to mean?

“She double majored actually. Film and political science.”

Emily double checked the file, “And Reid’s right. Per usual.”

“Reid and Prentiss, Y/L/N has agreed to talk to us in her home. She lives in the Hills. When we land, you guys go talk to her.” Hotch stated.

“Why?” I said before I could stop myself. The team sat in confused silence in reaction to my bluntness, but Hotch, like always, was not having it.

“Because we have a serial killer that is reenacting the murders in her movie, Reid.” his tone was stern and swift, with a patronizing sarcasm I supposed I deserved.

“Sorry,” I got out, “I guess I just meant..why me?”

“Well, you know her don’t you?” Rossi asked.

I was not ready to divulge the personal details between me and this girl to my entire team, so I just pursed my lips and nodded.

“Right. Sorry.”

----

Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament. George Santayana. I was in the biggest fucking predicament I’d ever encountered in my life.

Nothing could slow the incessant, double time pounding in my chest. I was showing symptoms of the beginning of a heart attack. Hopefully I would die and never have to face this.

Fuck, don’t think that.

Have the seats in these cars always been this uncomfortable? God, is California always this hot?

I looked at Emily for half a second, and instantly recognized that keeping quiet from her was proving to be dysfunctional. I could feel her eyes burning into my brain with every profiling skill she knew.

“What are you not saying Reid?”

I sighed. “Do I have to tell you?”

“Yeah. Unless you want me to just find out on my own. It’ll be a lot less delicate.”

Here goes nothing.

“I dated her. For two years. I was very much in love with her. It ended....abruptly. I haven’t spoken to her since, and now, nine years later, I am on my way to her house. I might have a heart attack.”

Emily's eyes widened, “Shit..” She laughed a little, “Reunited at last?.”

I answered with a glare. Hard no.

“Fine, sorry.” She said, masking a giggle with a cough.

I shifted in my seat and I could practically see the gears in Emily’s profiler cerebrum spin. She knew exactly the question to ask. “Is it nerves?”

I nodded my head, “I was a very different person back then.”

“Nothing like time and the bureau can change somebody.” she said. “But, hey..”She smiled again and my eyes widened when I realized what I’d revealed. “I asked you if you were nervous. I didn’t-”

“Emily..” I started.

“Are you nervous she won’t like you now? Do you still like her?” her mouth hung open, “Oh my god Reid!”

I shook my head, “No, I don’t still like her! I don’t even know her anymore! I just..I’d never loved somebody the way I loved her.”

Emily had figured me out at the same time I had. “And you still haven’t.”

Fuck.

“Correct.”

The car pulled into her driveway, and conversations from all those years ago started to replay in my head.

“When we get a house, can we paint our front door bright blue?”

“I want a lemon tree in the front yard.”

“Windows. Huge windows. It’s a must.”

All these things I’d promised her in our future home she’d gotten for herself. Good.

Fontaine said “Sadness flies away on the wings of time”, but the pain I felt from the loss of her was as prominent as ever.

Here goes nothing.

---

Thank you for reading!

a/n2 : this is completely unedited so if its sucks dick i am sorry :/ i just wanted to post it lol

A/n 3: the typos oh my fuck. I wanna Kick myself for letting this cute fic be up in that state for so long. Anyway, fixed! :)

#spencer reid #drspencerreid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid reader insert #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you

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imaginesupply · 3 years

Text

Homecoming - Chapter Four

(Gif's not my own.)

Summary: The day has arrived, Captain Syverson is going home. For good, this time. He is going home to a civilian life he can hardly remember and a wife he barely knows, with memories of the war still fresh on his mind. Love might not be able to heal everything on its own, but it’s a good start.

Genres: Romance, drama.

Story warnings: Smut (always fully consensual), mentions of PTSD and nightmares and mental health, angst, hurt and comfort, fluff, mentions of war (minor), mentions of cheating (minor), mentions of pregnancy (very minor), police appearance (very minor), violence (very minor).

Notes:

-It’s my first time writing for one of Henry’s characters and I’m unsure I did Sy’s character any justice.

-This is a Capt. Syverson x OFC (Ada) story, written in 3rd person POV but OFC’s physical description is very limited so it could also be read as Capt. Syverson x Reader, I think.

-English is not my first language, so there might be some mistakes. Proofread, but not beta’ed. We die like men and all that.

-Timeline is a little wacky: The movie takes place in 2003 and the U.S. forces were withdrawn from Iraq in 2011, but I never set a precise date because I don’t think it’s essential for this story. However, some elements might not be realistic because if we set this story in 2003: Phone cameras quality was not as good as it’s now, but for the purpose of the chapters, I will need you to imagine you could film great videos with your flip phone haha. Plus, it says Sy is coming back after being deployed for more than three years which makes no sense unless we set this in 2006 or later. I am asking you disregard any time inconsistencies.

-Also: I am not American. I only lived in the US for six months and it was in the Midwest, not Texas so please bear with me if I write something stupid.

-Finally: This will be a Christmas fic and I intend to post the last chapter (there will be seven in total) on or before Christmas. However, religion is never mentioned in this story and the Christmas-sy elements of this story are limited to family gathering, gift giving and tree decorating.

Chapter Four starts after the cut. (Chapter Three can be found here.) Let me know if you wish to be tagged in future chapters or if you wish to be removed from the tag list.

Chapter Four

Chapter warnings: PTSD, angst (or as much angst as I’ll ever write), couple’s fight, outdated expectations of marriage (is that even a warning?), mentions of masturbation.

This chapter is a little different from the previous ones and it’s stitched together weirdly. Also, there’s no smut (which is unusual for me!), but Chapter 5 will be more humorous and lighthearted.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

“When’s your next leave?” Harper asked from behind the wheel, knowing better than to take his eyes off the sand road. He had been transferred to the Special Forces after the whole water pumping station incident, with Sy’s approval.

They were at the very back of the convoy, like always. It was the only way Sy was able to keep all the Humvees in sight and look out for everyone.

“Not sure I’m gonna be seeing home before July.” Sy replied, blue eyes scrunched up as he tried making something, anything out in the darkness surrounding them. Doing this scouting mission at night hadn’t been his idea, but the order had come from higher up and it was when the guards were at their lowest.

Harper smiled, a short huff escaping his chest. “Ah yes! What are you going do once you’re home for good?” The soldier asked, the tiniest hint of teasing in his voice. “Give your wife a small army of Texan babies?”

Sy scoffed, his chest shaking beneath the heavy protective vest. “Eyes on the road, soldier.”

“Yes, captain.” Harper chuckled even as he obeyed the command.

The rest of the drive went by in silence. The whole point of doing it at night was to be unseen and unheard. Confirm it was an armory so that an airstrike could later destroy it. Quick and easy.

Sy absentmindedly rubbed his finger through the thick glove, trying to feel the wedding band beneath. He never took the thing off, but it still somehow eased his mind to make sure it was there – make sure she was there across the ocean. They had talked on the phone the night before and he could still hear her shriek as she stubbed her toe on the doorframe whilst pacing around the house as she spoke to him. She wanted to order new tires for his pickup truck because she was afraid the current ones would be expired once he got back. He told her not to worry about any of that, but she insisted and then asked about Aika, changing subjects. No matter what they talked about, he always slept better after hearing her voice.

The landscape changed ever so slightly. They were there, right outside the deserted town’s walls. Sy gave everyone the order to pull up and get ready. It was only when he stepped out of the Humvee, his feet landing swiftly on the soft sand and the cold night’s air hitting his face, that he realized that Sy had been there already. He was dreaming again.

He had been there hundreds of times, taken the same steps, given the same orders and run away from the same explosion. After having the same nightmare night after night, the shock and the surprise element had lessened, but the dread remained unchanged. Sy was cursed to relive the same scene again and again, for moments even wondering if he lacked imagination so much that his mind was unable to come up with anything else.

Still, every night, he'd try changing the outcome, attempt to take control of his past self and make different decisions: refuse the mission, take a different team, catch Lieutenant Wilkins before he had a chance to run into the trap. It never worked. The result was always the same with him shouting for everyone to retreat and grabbing on to the back of Wilkins' uniform, trying to drag him out of the building, unsuccessfully. Then the telltale detonation followed, the building shook and they were thrown backwards with the explosion. When Sy landed on the concrete, there was a corpse - or what remained of it - on top of him. It was what had shielded him from the worst.

He once tried to warn Wilkins about the child's voice asking for help, to tell him it was a trap and that they needed to ignore it, but he was unable to speak. They were there, on the exact spot, a large room right down the stairs with no windows or lights, only three parted doors. Unlike the first time, the real time, he knew what was about to happen, through what door the grenade would be thrown out of before rolling on the dusty ground. And he went through it all over again.

It was the noise that alerted him the first time, the impact as it hit ground and then the rolling sound on the uneven surface.

"Retreat!" Sy heard his own voice shout loud enough for the rest of the team behind them to hear, then an echo of hurried, heavy footsteps followed.

He knew what happened then. Sy waited for the faint, unidentifiable cry for help and for Wilkins to blindly bolt towards the voice, the grenade. He knew he'd unable to stop him this time just like all the others. What was the point of making him relive the same failure over and over again?

"Help!"

Sy froze on the spot, unlike all the other previous nights. This time it was not a random infantile voice. It was Ada's. She was crying out for help, for him.

This time it was him who dashed after the voice, the grenade exploding before he could reach her.

°°°

Ada thought that they had dodged the bullet, that they had somehow managed to avoid all the stuff she had crammed her head with when she had found out Sy was retiring from active combat sooner than expected. The notes she had taken, the websites she had visited, the therapists she had researched and ranked according to online reviews; she had started to think none of these would come in handy. Apart from that small incident when grocery shopping and the whole thing with Tom, Sy was okay, they were okay. Or so she thought.

It only took maybe eight days of Sy being back home to find out that wasn't true. It was almost like when you took a plane and fly halfway across the globe. The first days you’d eat dinner at 3am and go to bed three hours later and nothing felt real. Then it settled in. But this wasn't a spontaneous holiday or a mid-life crisis, this was an honorable discharge. Sy wasn't leaving behind an unsatisfying career, he was leaving the war.

He came home. They reunited, caught up with each other, basked in other's presence. Ada had to keep reminding herself that she could fall asleep at night without the anxiety of feeling like she was wasting away his leave with something as frivolous as sleep.

Only sleep wasn't frivolous, Ada soon came to realize. Sy slept well the first few nights back home. The exhaustion helped, so did sex. Sy would kiss her, roll over, pull her into his arms and fall right asleep after it.

That changed quickly. On the eight night, she woke up to pee hours before dawn only to find his side of the bed empty. She found him downstairs playing on his new console. It was the jetlag that made him unable to sleep, he said. Ada knew better, even as she acquiesced.

The following night, after making love and taking care of her, Sy didn't even bother pretending he was going to bed. "I won't be able to sleep anyways and I don't want to keep you up," he claimed, putting on a t-shirt and some sweatpants before going out for a run. It was past midnight.

After going two days with barely shutting his eyes, Sy did finally fall asleep in bed with her. Ninety minutes later, he was awake again.

"You okay?" Ada groaned softly, forcing her eyes open but it was too dark to see anything. She had woken up with his tossing and turning.

"Yeah, just go back to sleep," Sy replied dismissively, turning on his side and facing the window away from her.

Ada was about to do just that, believing his words in her incoherent sleepiness, when her hand touched his clammy back. He had managed to sweat through his t-shirt, but his skin remained icy.

"You're not okay," she whispered to herself before switching on her small bedside lamp and sitting up.

"I told you to go back to sleep, Ada," Sy protested, still facing away from her.

She shook her head softly and tried to pull him into her arms, but he was too heavy, and she couldn't move him without his help. "If something's wrong, you can tell me, you know."

She waited in silence for him to answer, to say something, anything at all. She had planned on watching podcasts, meeting with veterans and whatever she could do to help, but Sy had come home several months earlier than planned and she didn't know what to do, what was expected of her as a wife, as his partner, as his support person.

"Alright, you don't have to talk if you don't want to," she attempted quietly, sliding back into bed and moving in behind him, doing her best to be the big spoon for once. "We can just cuddle until you fall asleep."

Apparently, that turned out to be the wrong thing to say. Sy jumped out of bed as if her touch had burnt him. "I'm not a fucking child, Ada. I don't need your cuddles."

She flinched at his tone, taking a deep breath but her voice still came out strangled. "I was not implying you were a child, Sy. I just thought - no - I just hoped that you would find some comfort with me," she admitted but he was already getting dressed, sweaty skin and all. "Clearly I was wrong."

His face was red behind his full beard. He was pissed, she could almost feel him buzzing as he tried to restrain his anger and not - she didn't know what he was keeping himself from doing. Whatever it was, Ada was sure his next words hurt just as much as whatever he was initially going to do.

"I don't need you to fucking comfort me, woman!" He spat out, putting on a pair of boots. "I don't need anyone's help and certainly not my wife's!"

With that, he marched to the bedroom door, forcefully throwing it open. "I'm going out for air. Don't wait up for me."

They barely saw each other the next day. Sy texted that he was going to spend some time with his mom. Still hurt and offended, even though she knew this was not about her, Ada left for the day without telling him her whereabouts.

She took her car and drove to the animal shelter to help out. No one was expecting her there, but they gave her some work to do and it did help her feel better for a couple hours at least. But it was barely noon when she was done and she refused to go home, meeting up with friends instead. None of them asked why she wasn't at home practically glued to Sy. They were used to their friend pretty much vanishing off the face of the Earth whenever Sy came home for two or three weeks, but they were wise enough not to question it.

His words had stung. Ada was aware he had been mad, and that people always said dumb stuff when they were mad, but she did find some truth in his words. Why would he need her comfort? Her help? Or even a wife at all?

Sy had lived thirty-three years without knowing her and then three more married to her but living continents' apart. He could command soldiers, lead missions, plan attacks and whatever it was that he also did back in Iraq. The house was his, his mom would be overjoyed to cook for him and do his laundry again if he didn’t want to do it himself and Ada didn't kid herself - if he wanted sex, all he had to do was walk into a bar.

So, technically speaking, she knew Sy didn't need her. He was a grown ass man who could survive on his own better than ninety-nine percent of the population. What had hurt her was that he didn't want her, nor her help or her comfort. And if he didn't want her to try and make his life a lil' bit better, what was even the point. Ada didn't know and all the cocktails she consumed didn't provide an answer either, but they did end up forcing her to eat almost her own weight in food to soak up all the alcohol before driving back home at ten.

She was still fishing out her keys to open the front door, when Sy pulled it open with so much force, it almost flew off its hinges.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" Sy shouted as soon as she set a foot inside.

"I was out with friends.” Ada took off her shoes by the door. "How's your mom?" She looked up only long enough to find him staring down at her with his thick arms crossed in front of his chest.

"I sent you a dozen texts and called you just as many times, but you never picked up." Oh, his tone had switched to that unsettling calm before the storm.

"I apologize, my phone was on silent," Ada replied. It was true, though she had still noticed his calls and texts. "Look I am tired, and I am going to take a shower." She said before walking upstairs to their bedroom.

To her surprise, Sy followed her up, stopping only at their room’s threshold as if he weren’t allowed inside without her forgiveness. "I am sorry for yesterday," he sighed, leaning against the doorframe.

“It’s okay.” Ada shook her head, undressing rapidly and balling up her dirty clothes to throw them in the hamper. She smelt like a whole bar and she was desperate for a shower.

“I didn’t mean it, what I said,” he added, finally walking inside the room but still keeping his distances.

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” She reassured him, disappearing inside the en-suite. This was just a fight. Couples had them all the time. Sy had even apologized. “I am sorry too. For today.”

His voice startled her, Sy was closer than she had expected. “Do you have need for me?” He asked, making her still as she bent down to fetch some fresh towels from the drawer. Did she have need for him? Ada frowned even though he couldn’t see her face. She heard him sigh again behind her.

"I felt useful back in Baqubah. I ran that city, commanded soldiers, gave my country something and then an explosion happens, two of my men die. And you know what they do? They send me home. Not to punish me for fucking up; they send me home because they thought I had witnessed enough shit and deserved an honorable discharge. Whatever the reason, my services weren't needed there anymore."

"Then I come home to my wife, to you, Ada. And you know what?” He asked before providing the answer himself. “The doors don't screech, the mirror has been replaced and my wife doesn’t even need me to take her out on dates or to the movies because she already has someone for that. So really, what's my goddamn purpose here? The house doesn't need me. You don't need me. Even my mother doesn't need me what with her new boyfriend. So why the fuck did I come back?"

He paused and Ada took it as a chance to stand up and face him. She didn’t know what this was. His voice wasn’t loud, he wasn’t shouting, and his posture didn’t appear hostile. They weren’t arguing, this was something different. “That’s not-” Sy cut her off.

"Then, last night, I realize that while you don't need me, I sure as hell need you, Ada. And that's not how I imagined my marriage would be. I should be the provider. I should be taking care of you, not the other way around."

"This is not the 1950s, Sy," Ada chuckled faintly despite herself.

"That don’t matter. It's how I was raised: preside, provide and protect. I don't care about the presiding part; I knew from day one that I'd never be able to boss you around and I didn't want to. But I still very much believe in providing for and protecting what's mine, and instead, you're the one doing that. So, not only did I fail my men back in Iraq, but now I’ve failed you too."

“No. Stop right there.” Ada interrupted him, more forcefully than intended. "Okay, first, you never failed me. Don’t you ever say that.” Sy huffed from his spot by the door, clearly unconvinced but she was determined to get this out. “Second, I... I think you need to stop settling for being needed and instead accept that you are loved, at least by me."

Sy stiffened against the doorframe, his face taking over an unreadable expression beneath his beard. Shit. Did she mess up again? "Did I say something wrong?"

He didn’t reply right away. Ada took a few steps to him when his words took her by surprise. "You said you loved me."

She stopped in her tracks, opening her mouth and closing it again a few times, stammering. Confusion was evident on her face. "Well, yeah."

"You've never said it before," Sy explained, the hint of a smile on his lips.

Ada frowned, a little unsteady on her feet as she thought back. "Are you certain? I'm pretty sure that is what I ended all our phone calls with."

He shook his head. "I meant in person.”

"Oh, I never realized.”

The cold bathroom tile floor was not the place either of them would have picked out under different circumstances, but it was where Sy finally allowed himself to be cuddled into the warmth of her embrace for the first time, his head resting against her naked breast with her slow heartbeat lulling him into a different kind of peace. “I do love you, Sy.”

Ada was no fool, this wouldn’t soothe all his troubles, but for now, it was a start. And that was all she could ask for.

°°°

Sy sat down on the chair in their study. Most walls were covered with Ada’s textbooks from floor to ceiling. He huffed at the sight. If you’d told him five years ago that he’d end up with an academic wife, he’d have laughed in your face. Now, he tested touched the shelves, watching them wobble slightly and decided he ought to build her something sturdier.

First, he had to take care of some administrative bullshit for the new job he'd be starting at Camp Marbry in January. He had always hated bureaucracy but there was no escaping it. He had learned it the hard way as a private. Maybe it was also time he started going through their utilities folders. Ada had taken over all of it when they got married, managing their bank accounts and paying the bills. Sy hadn't taken of that shit in years but he probably should relieve her of some of those chores.

His eyes wandered over to the neatly organized shelves under the office desk, trying to find the correct binder when his attention landed on what appeared to be a fancy silver notebook. Was that the one Tom had mentioned?

Sy knew he shouldn't go through her stuff, but he was curious and it was not like she had hidden it or anything. Ending his hesitation with a shrug, he picked up the notebook only for stray bits of paper to immediately fly out and land on the carpeted floor. "Shit!"

He bent down and gathered them all up quickly in his hand, lest Ada find out he was snooping and chide him like a soldier. He sat back on the chair and started reading through some of the bits and slips of paper he had caught: "shaving gel not cream!", "dog treats (the fancy ones)", "boxer briefs in L"... They were all dated too. Sy figured they were just old shopping lists until he opened the notebook.

The first part appeared to be a logbook of sorts with notes about each and every one of their calls for the past year. Sy went over some of them, grinning despite himself. He never imagined Ada took notes during their weekly phone calls.

"Sy says it's really cold at night in the desert."

"He seems a little down..."

"Aika has a sweet tooth." Damn, he missed that dog!

“Explosion. Two men dead.”

He skipped over the next few pages, remembering it all too well. After the logbook part, came a set of lists, all dated. "The monthly care packages," Sy realized, reading through them and concluding that this was where the bits of paper had fallen from.

All the care package lists were cross-referenced with the calls logbook. Sy had never understood how she always managed to send him exactly what he needed. He wasn't even aware that he had mentioned most of these small things to her. Most of the time, he didn't even understand how she managed to fit so much stuff into those small USPS boxes. Whenever he tried putting everything back in the cardboard box for safekeeping, half of it didn't fit back inside.

He flipped through a few more care packages before landing on a particularly long list. The date was highlighted, it was the package he had received on the month of his birthday. Ada had made him promise not to open it before the 18th. “You can open the box, but I will know if you open the present before your birthday, Sy,” she had warned him on the phone, trying to sound very stern. “And if you do, I’ll come to Iraq just to whoop your ass.” He had laughed so loudly, Harper had knocked on his door to make sure he was alright.

Sy laughed again as he went over the list, remembering how the private from the deliveries and postal department kept on complaining because packages this big were 'not usually authorized' and that he was getting 'favor treatment' because he was captain and that Ada shouldn't even have been allowed to ship a box exceeding the maximum dimensions. Sy had taken the package from the soldier and asked if he fancied a trip to the infirmary. That had shut him up quickly.

There had been candy (no chocolate because it had melted through its packaging once when she had tried sending him some), gum, the two first James Bond novels, dog treats, a new photo of his niece and nephew, underwear that was way too fancy for him and a handwritten letter from Ada.

What had immediately caught his attention was the very neatly wrapped gift box with a big red bow and a small card that reminded him once more not to open it until his birthday and only when he was alone.

Sy laughed, remembering how giddy he was to open that damn box. They'd gone on a recon mission on his birthday and when they got back, everyone was exhausted and dirty. He had hurried to the showers, cutting off some soldiers and then rushed to his private room to open the gift.

In all his adult life, Sy could only remember blushing three times, two of them the same day. First was when Ada said 'I do’ and he tried sliding the ring on her finger, but nervous and tipsy like he had been, the damn tiny thing slipped off his hand and fell on the carpet. Second was when the limo supposed to bring them back to their hotel was caught up in traffic, and the two of them decided to get it on in the chapel's storage room while another couple was getting married. Not only did they promptly – and accidentally, might he add – knock over all the props, he literally ended up fucking her through the cheap and unstable dry wall. The look on the couple’s face had been priceless!

The third time was on his birthday. Inside the box, he had found a handful of professionally made photos of Ada in lingerie and sometimes not even that much. If that didn't have his mind spinning and his dick throbbing after so many months away, he certainly couldn't believe his eyes when he found a small tube of lube and a transparent fleshlight.

It was not the gift as such that made him blush. The photos had him beyond excited and he was all too eager to try out the fleshlight. No, the embarrassment only settled in afterwards. More specifically when Sy remembered that despite having a private room as a captain, the washrooms where shared and he found himself cleaning the fleshlight in the sink with the little water they had, hoping no one would see him.

"Oh shit!"

Sy jumped in his chair at her voice, he hadn't heard her get home, let alone upstairs.

"Fuck. You weren’t meant to see that, Sy.” Ada babbled, quickly walking up to him with a sheepish look on her face.

Sy smiled, interrupting her as he seized her hips and pulled her down to sit on his lap. "It’s okay, darlin'."

Ada's eyes widened incredulously. "Really? You’re not even mad at me for meeting with a therapist to get advice?"

Sy closed his eyes, nostrils flaring for a moment. Right. Admittedly, he had not yet made it to that part but while he wasn't exactly keen on discussing his private life with strangers, he felt no anger at finding out that Ada had tried to look after him. Her words from last night had somehow made it through his thick skull.

"No, I'm not angry, not even for that. I know you were just trying to-"

Sy opened his eyes again at her silence only to find his wife grinning like the Cheshire cat as she looked at the open page on the notebook.

"You didn't even make it that far, huh?" She chuckled, pointing at the list. "Nope, you were still stuck with that ridiculous birthday gift I gave you!" While her tone was accusatory, Sy could see that she was trying not to burst out laughing.

Rolling his eyes, he pried the notebook from her hands and set it down on the desk. "It was not a ridiculous gift. I kept it all," Sy reassured her, pressing her body closer to his. "Well, not the lube. That was gone in weeks. And the photos are definitely a little used now but-"

Ada kissed him out of the blue, shutting him up. "Sy, I really love you but you're giving me secondhand embarrassment right now."

The bear of a man laughed, holding ever impossibly tighter before kissing her forehead. "I love you too, wife." Then, another thought crossed his mind. “Do you think it’s possible to send a care package to a dog?”

@colourmeinblue @hail-horror-queen @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl @kmuir1 @madbaddic7ed @coffeebreathy @purplelove75 @summersong69 @helenaellie

#henry cavill smut #syverson smut #henry cavill x reader #syverson x reader #henry cavill x ofc #syverson x ofc

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ifuckinglovestvincent · 3 years

Text

THE FORTY-FIVE: ST. VINCENT

Sleazy, gritty, grimy – these are the words used to describe the latest iteration of St. Vincent, Annie Clark’s alter ego. As she teases the release of her upcoming new album, ‘Daddy’s Home’, Eve Barlow finds out who’s wearing the trousers now.

Photos: Zackery Michael

Yellow may be the colour of gold, the hue of a perfect blonde or the shade of the sun, but when it’s too garish, yellow denotes the stain of sickness and the luridness of sleaze. On ‘Pay Your Way In Pain’ – the first single from St. Vincent’s forthcoming sixth album ‘Daddy’s Home’ – Annie Clark basks in the palette of cheap 1970s yellows; a dirty, salacious yellow that even the most prudish of individuals find difficult to avert their gaze from. It’s a yellow that recalls the smell of cigarettes on fingers, the tape across tomorrow’s crime scene or the dull ache of bad penetration.

The video for the single, which dropped last Thursday, features Clark in a blonde wig and suit, channeling a John Cassavetes anti-heroine (think Gena Rowlands in Gloria) and ‘Fame’-era Bowie. She twists in front of too-bright disco lights. She roughs up her voice. She sings about the price we pay for searching for acceptance while being outcast from society. “So I went to the park just to watch the little children/ The mothers saw my heels and they said I wasn’t welcome,” she coos, and you immediately recognise the scene of a free woman threatening the post-nuclear families aspiring to innocence. Clark is here to pervert them.

She laughs. “That’s how I feel!” From her studio in Los Angeles, she begins quoting lyrics from Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Red House’. “It’s a blues song for 2021.” LA is a city Clark reluctantly only half calls home, and one that is opposed to her vastly preferred New York. “I don’t feel any romantic attachment to Los Angeles,” she says of the place she coined the song ‘Los Ageless’ about on 2017’s ‘Masseduction’ (“The Los Ageless hang out by the bar/ Burn the pages of unwritten memoirs”).“The best that could be said of LA is, ‘Yeah it’s nice.’ And it is! LA is easy and pleasant. But if you were a person the last thing you’d want someone to say about you is: ‘She’s nice!’”

On ‘Daddy’s Home’, Clark writes about a past derelict New York; a place Los Angeles would suffocate in. “The idea of New York, the art that came out of it, and my living there,” she says. “I’ve not given up my card. I don’t feel in any way ready to renounce my New York citizenship. I bought an apartment so I didn’t have to.” Her down-and-out New York is one a true masochist would love, and it’s sleazy in excess. Sleaze is usually the thing men flaunt at a woman’s expense. In 2021, the proverbial Daddy in the title is Clark. But there’s also a literal Daddy. He came home in the winter of 2019.

On the title track, Clark sings about “inmate 502”: her father. He was sentenced to 12 years in prison for his involvement in a $43m stock fraud scheme. He went away in May 2010. Clark reacted by writing her third breakthrough album ‘Strange Mercy’ in 2011; inspired not just by her father’s imprisonment but the effects it had on her life.“I mean it was rough stuff,” she says. “It was a fuck show. Absolutely terrible. Gut-wrenching. Like so many times in life, music saved me from all kinds of personal peril. I was angry. I was devastated. There’s a sort of dullness to incarceration where you don’t have any control. It’s like a thud at the basement of your being. So I wrote all about it,” she says.

Back then, she was aloof about meaning. In an interview we did that year, she called from a hotel rooftop in Phoenix and was fried from analytical questions. She excused her lack of desire to talk about ‘Strange Mercy’ as a means of protecting fans who could interpret it at will. Really she was protecting an audience closer to home. It’s clear now that the title track is about her father’s imprisonment (“Our father in exile/ For God only knows how many years”). Clark’s parents divorced when she was a child, and they have eight children in their mixed family, some of whom were very young when ‘Strange Mercy’ came out. She explains this discretion now as her method of sheltering them.

“I am protective of my family,” she says. “It didn’t feel safe to me. I disliked the fact that it was taken as malicious obfuscations. No.” Clark wanted to deal with the family drama in art but not in press. She managed to remain tight-lipped until she became the subject of a different intrusion. As St. Vincent’s star continued to rocket, Clark found herself in a relationship with British model Cara Delevingne from 2014 to 2016, and attracted celebrity tabloid attention. Details of her family’s past were exposed. The Daily Mail came knocking on her sister’s door in Texas, where Clark is from.

“Luckily I’m super tight with my family and the Daily Mail didn’t find anybody who was gonna sell me out,” she says. “They were looking for it. Clark girls are a fucking impenetrable force. We will cut a bitch.”

Four years later, Clark gets to own the narrative herself in the medium that’s most apt: music. “The story has evolved. I’ve evolved. People have grown up. I would rather be the one to tell my story,” she says, ruminating on the misfortune that this was robbed from her: a story that writes itself. “My father’s release from prison is a great starting point, right?” Between tours and whenever she could manage, Clark would go and visit him in prison and would be signing autographs in the visitation room for the inmates, who all followed her success with every album release, press clipping and late night TV spot. She joked to her sisters that she’d become the belle of the ball there. “I don’t have to make that up,” she says.

There’s an ease to Clark’s interview manner that hasn’t existed before. She seems ready not just to discuss her father’s story, but to own certain elements of herself. “Hell where can you run when the outlaw’s inside you,” she sings on the title track, alluding to her common traits with her father. “I’ve always had a relationship with my dad and a good one. We’re very similar,” she says. “The movies we like, the books, he liked fashion. He’s really funny, he’s a good time.” Her father’s release gave Clark and her brothers and sisters permission to joke. “The title, ‘Daddy’s Home’ makes me laugh. It sounds fucking pervy as hell. But it’s about a real father ten years later. I’m Daddy now!”

The question of who’s fathering who is a serious one, but it’s also not serious. Clark wears the idea of Daddy as a costume. She likes to play. She joins today’s Zoom in a pair of sunglasses wider than her face and a silk scarf framing her head. The sunglasses come off, and the scarf is a tool for distraction. She ties it above her forehead, attempts a neckerchief, eventually tosses it aside. Clark can only be earnest for so long before she seeks some mischief. She doesn’t like to stay in reality for extensive periods. “I like to create a world and then I get to live in it and be somebody new every two or three years,” she says. “Who wants to be themselves all the time?”

‘Daddy’s Home‘ began in New York at Electric Lady studios before COVID hit and was finished in her studio in LA. She worked on it with “my friend Jack” [Jack Antonoff, producer for Lana Del Rey, Lorde, Taylor Swift]. Antonoff and Clark worked on ‘Masseduction’ and found a winning formula, pushing Clark’s guitar-orientated electronic universe to its poppiest maximum, without compromising her idiosyncrasies. “We’re simpatico. He’s a dream,” she says. “He played the hell outta instruments on this record. He’s crushing it on drums, crushing it on Wurlitzer.” The pair let loose. They began with ‘The Holiday Party’, one of the warmest tracks Clark’s ever written. It’s as inviting as a winter fireplace, stoked by soulful horns, acoustic guitar and backing singers. “Every time they sang something I’d say, ‘Yeah but can you do it sleazier? Make your voice sound like you’ve been up for three days.” Clark speaks of an unspoken understanding with Antonoff as regards the vibe: “Familiar sounds. The opposite of my hands coming out of the speaker to choke you till you like it. This is not submission. Just inviting. I can tell a story in a different way.”

The entire record is familiar, giving the listener the satisfaction that they’ve heard the songs before but can’t quite place them. It’s a satisfying accompaniment to a pandemic that encouraged nostalgic listening. Clark was nostalgic too. She reverted to records she enjoyed with her father: Stevie Wonder’s catalogue from the 1970s (‘Songs In The Key Of Life’, ‘Innervisions’, ‘Talking Book’) and Steely Dan. “Not to be the dude at the record store but it’s specifically post-flower child idealism of the ’60s,” she explains. “It’s when it flipped into nihilism, which I much prefer. Pre disco, pre punk. That music is in me in a deep way. It’s in my ears.”

On ‘The Melting Of The Sun’ she has a delicious time creating a psychedelic Pink Floyd odyssey while exploring the path tread by her heroes Marilyn Monroe, Joni Mitchell, Joan Didion and Nina Simone. It’s a series of beautiful vignettes of brilliant women who were met with a hostile environment. Clark considers what they did to overcome that. “I’m thanking all these women for making it easier for me to do it. I hope I didn’t totally let them down.” Clark is often the only woman sharing a stage with rock luminaries such as Dave Grohl, Damon Albarn and David Byrne, and has appeared to have shattered a male-centric glass ceiling. She’s unsure she’s doing enough to redress the imbalance. “There are little things I can do and control,” she says of hiring women on her team. “God! Now I feel like I should do more. What should I do? It’s a big question. You know what I have seen a lot more from when I started to now? Girls playing guitar.”

If one woman reinvented the guitar in the past decade, it’s Clark. Behind her is a rack of them. The pandemic has taken her out of the wild in which she’s accustomed to tantalising audiences at night with her displays of riffing and heel-balancing. Instead, she’s chained to her desk. Her obsession with heels in the lyrics of ‘Daddy’s Home’ she reckons may be a reflection of her nights performing ‘Masseduction’ in thigh highs. “I made sure that nothing I wore was comfortable,” she recalls. “Everything was about stricture and structure and latex. I had to train all the time to make sure I could handle it.” Is she taking the heels off when live shows return? “Absofuckinglutely not.”

Clark is interested in the new generation. She’s recently tweeted about Arlo Parks and has become a big fan of Russian singer-songwriter Kate NV. “I’m obsessed with Russia,” she says. In a recent LA Times profile, she professed to a pandemic intellectual fixation on Stalin. “Yeah! I mean right now my computer is propped up on stuff. You are sitting on The Gulag Archipelago, The Best Short Stories Of Dostoyevsky andThe Plays Of Chekhov. I’m kinda in it.” The pop world interests Clark, too. She was credited with a co-write on Swift’s 2019 album ‘Lover’. At last year’s Grammys she performed a duet with Dua Lipa. It was one of the queerest performances the Grammys has ever aired. Clark interrupts.

“What about it seemed queer?!”

You know… The lip bite, for one!

“Wait. Did she bite her lip?”

No, you bit your lip.

“I did?!”

Everyone was talking about it. Come on, Annie.

“Serious? I…”

You both waltzed around each other with matching hairdos, making eyes…

“I have no memory of it.”

Frustrating as it may be in a world of too much information, Clark’s lack of willingness to overanalyse every creative decision she makes or participates in is something to treasure. “I want to be a writer who can write great songs,” she says. “I’m so glad I can play guitar and fuck around in the studio to my heart’s desire but it’s about what you can say. What’s a great song? What lyric is gonna rip your guts open. Just make great shit! That’s where I was with this record. That’s all I wanna do with my life.”

More than a decade into St. Vincent, Clark doesn’t reflect. She looks strictly forward. “I’m like a horse with blinders,” she says. She did make an exception to take stock lately when the phone rang. “I saw a +44 and that gets me excited,” she says. “Who could this be?” Well, who was it? “Paul McCartney,” she says, in disbelief. “Anything I’ve done, any mistake I’ve made, somehow it’s forgiven, assuaged. I did something right in my life if a fucking Beatle called me.”

Now there’s a get out of jail free card if ever she needed one.

Daddy’s Home by St. Vincent is out May 14, 2021.

#‘I HAVE NO MEMORY OF IT’#LOOOOOL #WHY ARE U LIKE THIS #st vincent #full of shit #annie clark #Annie Clark on beds #yellow is the color for dull ache of bad penetration?

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zestyemby · 3 years

Text

Monsters in the Shadows - Chapter 1

Author’s Note: Sorry for the super delayed chapter post. Things got a bit busy with work and school. Let me know what you think and I’ll try and get the next chapter out here in the next few weeks.

____

The first time that Y/N had met Steve was shortly after he’d emerged from the ice in 2011. Of course, she’d met him before, seventy years earlier, in her other life. That was something that Nick Fury had warned her not to mention , at least not right away. The meeting was set up for Fury, and the two had met up in a small café that was relatively empty for a Saturday morning.

“So you’re the agent I’m meeting with,” Steve asked as he took a seat across from her.

“You sound disappointed,” she replied with a bitter smile.

“No, just surprised.”

“Why?”

“You seem young.”

“I am.”

“How old?”

“Twenty.”

“They’re recruiting pretty young.”

“I did swallow up an entire city block of D.C. when I was eighteen so,” she shrugged. The choking sound is what caught her attention, followed by the look of shock on Steve’s face. “Long story short, I was at the Captain America exhibit with friends after graduation, saw the part about Bucky, blacked out, and next thing I know, I’m waking up in a hospital bed. They said I was at the center of it all and there was even video footage. Something awakened in me and no one is sure what. Not sure what else there is to say.”

“So Fury recruited you because?”

“Because if he didn’t I would probably be on death row or already dead. I’m still trying to figure out how to bring those two hundred people back from the darkness that swallowed them.” She looked down at her hands, “I can hear them sometimes, when its quiet. I’ll hear them screaming.”

Steve was quiet. He could tell just by looking at her that she was scared, even though she appeared confident. He even heard it in her voice when she said she heard them screaming. Later, he would have to find footage of what she was talking about because to him, it didn’t make sense. His gaze fell to her hands, briefly, but enough to notice the inky black fingers that faded just before the knuckles.

“Why are we meeting,” he finally asked.

“No idea, he just said to be here.” She picked up her cup of coffee and went to drink it, but stopped, eyeing him from across the table. “That and I remember you from seventy years ago.”

“What?”

“When I saw the exhibit on Bucky, I saw memories. They aren’t mine, or, they are, but from my past life. And I know they are mine because I felt every touch and every emotion when I saw them. The heat of Bucky’s hand in mine the night before he was shipped off. His breath on my ear as he said my name and that he loved me. The promise of forever in the last kiss.” She took a deep breath, swallowed the last bit of her coffee, and looked at Steve. “And how it felt like my heart was ripped from my chest the day you showed up at my door and told me that he was gone. You caught me and held me as I cried.”

Steve sat rigid as he listened to her. He wasn’t there for the final goodbye between her and Bucky, but he knew how much Bucky loved her. They had even had a conversation on whether Bucky would propose that night. He never did find out if it happened. When she mentioned the day he told her Bucky died, he knew she was telling the truth. Her eyes were e/c back then, but her y/e/c eyes held that same pain. “He loved you, you know.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that he’s gone.”

_______

After that day, the two began to spent more time together. It helped that, even though Y/N was not the Y/N from the forties, she still had memories of it. This aided in further bonding. So much so that she had a key to his apartment and regularly passed out on his couch and eventually, in his bed. Her sleeping in his bed was a result of nightmares. Well, really just the voices in the shadows of the people she had let her darkness swallow all those years ago.

At first he wasn’t sure what it was, what kept her awake at night. There were times she would fall asleep before him and he’d wake up to hearing the television going several hours later. It wasn’t until after he had started going on missions with the Avengers and coming home late at night that he realized what was going on. He’d walked through the door at two a.m. one morning to her crying in her sleep saying she was sorry. Then there was the scream and how she bolted upright, terrified.

“Hey hey hey,” he whispered as he dropped his bag and sat down next to her. He watched as her eyes darted around the room, lingering on the darkest shadows. It was like she saw something there. “Y/N,” he tried to get her to focus, “deep breaths. You’re okay.”

“They were here.”

“Who?” He noticed her eyes were on the far corner, the darkest part of the room. Unnaturally dark, he thought.

“Them.”

“The ones the darkness swallowed?”

“No,” she replied as she pulled the blanket tighter and moved closer to him. “These aren’t human.”

“What are they?” He had one arm wrapped around her shoulders, his hand running up and down her arm to comfort her. It didn’t escape him that she was still focused on that dark corner. “Is one here?” When she nodded, he frowned.

“You know Alice in Wonderland?”

“Yeah?”

“And the Cheshire Cat with that devious grin?”

“Mhm.”

“They have that grin when they smile. Only their teeth are sharp, like a shark. They don’t really have a physical form but,” she finally looked at him, “they have that smile. And they can reach out of the shadows with these long tentacle like fingers that just keep stretching.”

“You’ve seen them?”

“I’ve felt them. They’ve been wrapped around me and inside me. Its like they’re searching for something but they wont tell me what.”

“Y/N…”

“I’m not crazy.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“But you were thinking it.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Don’t lie to me Steve.”

“I’m not.” He shifted so they were facing each other, a serious look on his face. “You said these things touched you.” She nodded. “Have they hurt you?” He knew the answer when she looked away from him. “Those bandages you sometimes show up in, they aren’t from missions, are they?”

“No.” She hadn’t expected to be pulled into a hug after that. And she would be lying if she didn’t immediately feel safe in his embrace. It wasn’t like seventy years ago when he held her as she mourned Bucky. It was different, because she was different. Had she developed feelings for Steve? Possibly.

“You can sleep with me tonight.” Almost immediately after he had said it, he regretted it. He wasn’t sure if it would come off as if he was implying something else. Maybe a part of him wanted that but for right now, he just wanted to make sure that she was safe. “That is, uh…”

“Steve,” she let out a small sigh, “Thank you.”

________

That night started a chain of events that neither of them saw coming. What had started out as a way to comfort Y/N, quickly turned into something more. For at least two months, whenever she’d start having nightmares, she would show up at his apartment and crawl into bed with him. Soon she was over more often and they’d wake up cuddled together. It was the morning, six months later, when Steve woke up to the feeling of Y/N’s breath on his neck, did he realize how far things had gone.

He shifted, moving away to get up, she didn’t move at all. Once he was out of bed, he pulled the blanket up over her shoulders and brushed hair from her face. In the two years they’d been friends, he never considered that they could be more. She remembered Bucky, and he knew she still loved him. Just like for him, he still loved Peggy. But both were gone and maybe it was time to move on.

“You’re staring,” she muttered in her groggy morning voice.

“And you’re on my pillow,” he chuckled.

“Sue me,” was her reply before rolling over, head still on said pillow.

All he could do was laugh at her childishness. After a few minutes he sat on the bed and leaned over her, trapping her on both sides. “Are you going to wake up?”

“Do I have to?” She shifted, now laying on her back looking up at him.

“Yes.”

“Fine.” It was his satisfied smile that set the butterflies in her stomach aflutter. When he continued to keep her pinner, she raised a brow. “Steve?” He didn’t respond, not verbally anyway. Instead he lifted a hand and placed it on the side of her neck, thumb on her jaw. Her heart began to race at the action. He sure is taking his sweet time, she thought. With a sigh she gripped the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to her.

“Y/N!”

“If you’re going to kiss me, then do it already.”

Steve laughed before closing the distance between them and kissed her. He gently pulled her up and wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close. The kiss didn’t last long but it was longer than he had expected. The main interruption was the doorbell followed by incessant knocking. He let out a groan as he released Y/N.

“Want me to get that or,” she asked as she moved into a sitting position.

“I’ll get it.”

As he stood up, she moved to her knees and pulled him into another kiss. “I’ll get started on coffee and breakfast.” She kissed him one more time before getting off the bed and smiling. “We can always continue this later. You know, when we find out who is at the door.”

Steve watched her as she walked out of the room, his heart still racing from the kiss. It was different from when he kissed Peggy. Though, that could be because the situations in which they happened were different. Or it could be because they are two different people. Either way, he hadn’t expected it to happen the way it did. Rolling his shoulders, he headed towards the front door where the knocking continued. “Who is it?”

“I’m looking for Agent Y/L/N,” the voice on the other side replied.

The muttered ‘dammit’ that Steve heard from the kitchen alerted him that she knew. When she appeared, she looked less than pleased. “Its for you,” he whispered.

“Who is it,” Y/N called.

“Agent Friedman,” the voice replied.

“Fuck.”

“You haven’t been answering your phone.”

“Yeah its call sleeping.”

“With Captain Rogers? That is hardly a reason to ignore your phone.”

“No Richard,” she hissed, “I was actually sleeping. You know that thing people do at night to reset their mind and body?” She opened the door and crossed her arms. “Why are you here?”

“You have a job.” Richard looked passed Y/N and saw Steve, also with his arms cross and a brow raised.

“And you found me here how?”

“You weren’t in your apartment.”

“How would you know?”

“I still have a key.”

“Remind me to change the locks. Doesn’t explain how you knew I was here.”

“We tracked your phone. You’ve been spending a lot of time here recently.”

Y/N frowned and reached for the door, “What I do and where I go is none of your business. It hasn’t been for a long time.” Before he had a chance to respond, she slammed the door shut and locked it. “You can leave now Richard.” She let out a sigh as she rested her forehead on the door. “Raincheck on the coffee?”

“Yeah,” Steve replied. He headed into the kitchen to finished brewing the coffee that she had started to prepare. He heard the bathroom door shut shortly after. While he waited for the coffee to brew he looked over the paper but his mind kept thinking back to the conversation at the door. The tone in Richard’s voice and the way that Y/N reacted to his presence and how he spoke to her. It made him wonder about their relationship.

_______

After about ten minutes, Y/N emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel, and still looking unhappy. She walked into the room and closed the door. “That’s just great,” she huffed as she scrolled through her phone. There were twenty-three missed calls and a dozen or so messages. Most from Richard and one from Maria Hill. Its been two years and he is still obsessed and possessive.

“Y/N?”

“Its nothing.”

Steve sighed, watching her pull a shirt on then grabbing her shoes. “He has a key to your apartment.”

“Yeah and I thought he destroyed it two years ago when we broke up. That’s what he told me anyway.” After putting her shoes on, she grabbed the wet towel, ready to put it back in the bathroom to dry. When Steve grabbed her arm as she passed, she looked at him. “Look, it doesn’t matter. Its been dealt with.” The look on his face said he wasn’t convinced but he didn’t push the subject further. “I have to go. Sorry.”

“Where to?”

“Egypt apparently.” She walked into the bathroom and replaced the towel. As she walked through the kitchen she stopped and picked up the cup of coffee on the counter. She took a drink and heard Steve clear his throat. “What?”

“I could have made you a cup,” he said as he leaned against the counter, arms crossed.

“Would have been a waste since I’m leaving.” Standing on her tippy toes she kissed the corner of his mouth. “I really have to go.”

______

The mission in Egypt was suppose to be a simple one. Do some recon in some old ruins where there had been some concerning reports coming in. The location had been mostly abandoned for nearly a century but there had been activity off and recently. Several vehicles had been seen coming and going for several months before SHIELD had picked up on it. That was when Y/N and a handful of other SHIELD agents had been sent to check it out.

The team was scattered throughout the ruins, checking possible doorways and crumbling buildings. “There isn’t anything here,” one of the agents whispered over the comms.

“No,” Y/N replied, “There is definitely something here.”

“How do you know? Did the shadows tell you,” the agent mocked.

“They told me you’re a dick Michaels,” she hissed. “Considering the location and the type of ruins, I’m willing to bet there is an underground chamber at least. Start searching the ground. We’re bound to find something.”

“Or someone,” another agent pointed out.

“Come on man,” the Michaels began, “you’re too obsessed with the movie. Its not real.”

“It could be.”

“Would both of you shut up,” Y/N sighed.

“Its not my fault that Thespin here thinks a movie about a mummy coming back to life is real.”

“The Mummy is a work of art and Brendan Fraser was amazing in it,” Thespin replied. “His chemistry with Rachel Weizs was on point.”

“Okay I’ll give you that,” Michaels replied, “but undead mummies aren’t a thing.”

“When it comes to the Egyptians, I wouldn’t put it passed them to come up with a way to make it possible.” Y/N moved some sand around with her foot and felt around for a possible trigger of some sort. When she heard click, she stepped back and watched as the ground opened to her left. She smirked when Michaels made a face and Thespin laughed.

“What are you doing,” Michaels asked as he watched Y/N start walking down the stairs.

“My job.”

He pulled her back and took her place, “I’ll go. You’re an asset and if you get killed then Fury is going to have our heads.”

“Not to mention Captain Rogers.”

Y/N stopped and looked at them. “Fury, maybe. Ste…” She fell silent when she felt that clawing feeling at the back of her mind. A sign that the shadows were trying to warn her. She started looking around, hand on the wall, waiting. That’s when her vision started to fade out, shifting to a location she hadn’t seen. “Lets see what we’ve got.”

Over the years, she’d figured out how to control her powers. To use the shadows the see what was going on in locations others couldn’t see. To use them as a weapon and to fade into them. It was something she didn’t do often because of what else lay within the darkness of the shadows. The monsters that haunted her since her powers activated.

While she looked around, she made note of the equipment and how it wasn’t covered in dust. Someone had been down there recently and had actively been using the location for some time. When she heard movement, her eyes darted around, trying to locate it. That was when a man came into view, and he was looking directly at her. Or it would be if she was physically there.

The more she looked at him, the more she was pulled to actually be there. Before she knew it, they were standing face to face, and there was a gun to her head. She looked around the room was more and saw Michaels laying on the floor. He was staring in their direction, but there was no life left in his eyes. She watched as Thespin started making his way down as well, wincing as the gunshot rang through the room. They didn’t deserve to have their lives ended in such a way.

“You shouldn’t be here,” the man said as he once again pointed the gun at her.

“Then shoot me.”

She had just moved to Brooklyn to live with her aunt after her parents had died. It had been roughly three months since she moved but the city still confused her. She was trying to find a corner diner that her aunt had told her about that was in need of a waitress. Her being lost was probably what led to the situation she found herself in.

“You’re a pretty one,” the man said as he emerged from the alley.

“Please just leave me alone.”

“Come on. Why don’t you let me take you on a date,” the man said as he followed closely behind her.

“I’m not interested.”

“Just one date. Bet I could make all your dreams come true.”

“No thanks.”

Apparently he didn’t like that answer because he reached out and grabbed her wrist. Pulling her back and inevitably pinning her against the nearest building. “Why not? Pretty little thing like you, everyone would be envious.” He could tell she was uncomfortable, but he didn’t care. She had turned him down and he didn’t like that.

“Let me go!” The more she squirmed to get away, the tighter his grip became on her arm. If she wasn’t scared before, she was now.

“Hey,” an unknown voice shouted.

This caught the man’s attention as he finally looked from her, to where the voice had come from. “What do you want?”

“She said she wasn’t interested, didn’t she?”

“Get lost.”

She finally looked to the man who had called out. He was tall, accompanying him was a scrawnier man, but she was focused on the one who spoke. “Please,” she begged, “please help me.” That didn’t sit well with the man holding her, because his grip tightened again, and she winced. It was then that the other man approached, looking none too happy. The pain in her wrist was too much to bear so she closed her eyes to keep herself from crying more.

After a few seconds, she felt her arm being released and she crumbled to the ground, crying. That didn’t stop her from overhearing the fighting and the sound of someone running away. When she opened her eyes again, she was face to face with the man who had likely saved her life. Ocean blue eyes stared back at her, full of concern.

“Are you okay,” he asked.

“I,” she looked at her wrist that was beginning to bruise, “Thank you.”

He held his hand out to her and she gratefully took it. Once they were both standing, he looked at her wrist and frowned. Marks of fingers could clearly be seen. It bothered him that he didn’t realize how tightly the man had been holding her. “James Buchanan Barnes at your service. Most people call me Bucky though.”

“Steve Rogers,” his friend said.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” She pulled her wrist to her chest and hid it the best she could with her other hand.

“Where are you headed,” Bucky asked.

“Just this corner diner my aunt told me about. I guess I’m a little lost.” She gave them the address. She watched as the two exchanged a look before Steve sighed and Bucky smiled. “I’m in the wrong part of town, aren’t I?”

“You are,” Steve replied.

“But we’ll get you to where you need to go,” Bucky added.

As she came out of the memory, she put her hand to her head. It took a moment before she realized she was no longer in the bunker and the man was gone. She wasn’t even in the desert anymore. Or was she? It was hard to tell with the city buildings and the several hundred people and vehicles that were around her. “Wait this is…”

_______

Alarms started going off at SHIELD headquarters the moment the missing section of Washington D.C. turned up in Egypt. “Sir! There are several hundred people stranded in Egypt right now.”

“What of our agents,” Fury asked.

“They aren’t responding.”

“Agent Y/L/N? Any sign of her?”

“An S.O.S was sent out just before the missing blocks appeared.”

“Get rescue out there. And keep trying Y/L/N.”

“Yes sir!”

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x Female Reader #Steve Rogers #steve x reader #steve x female reader #steve x y/n #steve rogers x reader #Avengers #The Avengers #avengers imagine #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson #sam wilson x y/n #reader insert #captain america #captain america x reader

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ryttu3k · 3 years

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Some thoughts on Zombieland Saga, 2.08!

The first part takes place in autumn of 1881, the bulk of it summer 1882. Yugiri dies that December. I'm going to assume Kiichi and Itou are somehow involved (I am very suspicious of Itou!!). Also, historically, Saga was revived in 1883, just one year later.

Yugiri's always been a bit of an odd one with the rest of Franchouchou, Tae aside. The other girls are from within forty years of each other (Junko died in 1983, Lily in 2011), but she's from nearly a century and a half earlier. So I'm guessing the reasons for her resurrection were different? Like it's not just 'she was famous in her time', it's personal. Kiichi is voiced by Mamoru Miyano as well, it's... probably a fair guess to say he could be Kotaro's ancestor?

The grandfather is straight-out credited as Jofuku/Xu Fu in the credits. Is the bartender him, still around and kicking? Did Kiichi grow up to inherit his looks and powers (if they're not biological relatives, it could be passed down via other means); did Kotaro inherit those powers too? He said last season he owes Yugiri a lot - if he's the grandfather, I have a suspicion that Kiichi is going to get into trouble, Yugiri takes the fall for him, and is executed in his place ;_; Alternatively, if the bartender IS Kiichi, same scenario could happen only this time it's specifically that she saved his life. This seems more likely, given that the grandfather has already lost his hair and the bartender hasn't. If they're not biological relatives, maybe the grandfather recognised the same kind of spirit in Kiichi and knew he would become the New Jofuku?

From Reddit:

"I think she's going to end up taking the blame, as a scape-goat. "Former star courtesan foments revolt" makes for a more convenient excuse than "country bumpkin stirs up the genuine aggrievement of the people".

She will realise who Itou is, where this whole things it leading, and sacrifice herself to save Kiichi."

Re: the cameos - I think the shots of the girls were either ancestors or just easter eggs. Romero, on the other hand, may literally be the same dog XD He's a zombie and introduced in the same breath as the necromancer grandfather, that is an old dog!

Oh right, confirmed on the subreddit:

"According to the end credits translation : all the lookalikes are just "women that looks like X " so saki is "babysitter looking like saki" and romero is literally just "romero" so I think it’s the only one that is the same"

The hard time limit - could Kotaro lose his necromantic abilities, like the grandfather did? If Romero is the same dog, at least they won't die again, but maybe they could lose regenerative abilities or... something? Still not sure about that one. Another theory I saw is that Jofuku's powers are tied to Saga's fate - if his powers wane, so does Saga. If Kotaro inherited those same abilities, he could see the impending loss of his abilities also meaning the end of Saga as he knows it.

The note at the end was translated on the subreddit too:

"Cant really read it since it is like early modern japanese and it is kinda hard to read

Part that make sense is

1. People who agreed with the target is gathering

2. Unable to confirm its current target

3. Possibility of its expansion in the future is high

4. (unreadable ) Order

Seem like the guy is doing some investigation, from the way he talk about the government, he probably belong to some underground group"

So looks like Kiichi is getting into some shit, which does lead credence to the theory that Yugiri will step in to protect him :-\

Yugiri herself - I want to give her a hug ;_; She seems so... lonely. I loved the scene under the cherry blossoms with the pinwheel, it was just this sweet moment of her getting to be a teenager for once.

Alas, her death is impending :-\ And unlike the other girls, this appears to be more... deliberate. The others were all accidents, but given how she's getting involved in politics (and Itou knows she helped Kiichi with the pamphlets!) and her single scar, she was likely beheaded and I am not emotionally prepared for that!

Finally, from Reddit:

"This episode is set in 1881-82. Modern Saga Prefecture was created in 1883. Seems like Kiichi is going to get his wish, just not the way he'd have wanted.

EDIT: Wait a second....that means Saga itself is a land that was killed and resurrected. Saga was the zombie all along. Zombie Land Saga."

Edit: Theorising how That Scene will play out:

megastarstrike — Today at 12:44 PM Tbh I wasn't thinking about her death method, just anticipating it ;-; ryttu3k — Today at 12:47 PM I don't think we're actually going to see her head get chopped off because that's a bit dark, but like - maybe Yugiri kneeling, she catches Kiichi's eye and smiles serenely, closes her eyes, there's a flash of the blade, and then we're back in the present day ;_; If they want to be really horrible we hear a thump first ...or two thumps Nooooo ;_; megastarstrike — Today at 12:48 PM I'm gonna predict your clairvoyance powers are coming to you again bc this sounds exactly like what they're gonna do ryttu3k — Today at 12:48 PM It's what I would do if I was storyboarding it, so. We'll see XD;; Can I add this to the post? megastarstrike — Today at 12:49 PM Yup Tbf that is very anime ryttu3k — Today at 12:50 PM Yeah XD

We’ll see in a week, I guess!

#zombieland saga #zlsspoilers

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flameontheotherside · 2 years

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Bummer... 😞

How do you miss someone you never met? How do I explain to my therapist that I feel like a widow? How the fucking hell do I not get triggered over the smallest things?

Last night I got into a funk after seeing a trailer I posted about a movie. I didn't have the sound on but watched it and just seeing it, I recognized it as my journey ...THIS. If for some reason someone decided to steal my experience for a novel or a movie idea, it would mortify me. The thought of it literally made me sick. My stomach is in knots.

Sometimes I want to stop writing here...

The moment I think that I've shared enough, something makes me write again. If I don't right away, it's like this nagging. Like the same kind of nagging I felt my whole life and since I wrote that letter to Erik's guardian angels in 2007... coincidentally on his birthday. Feeling this is another something I have to do.

Honestly I don't know how many times I have to keep writing about the same thing over and over again. About how much this journey hurts. It's not exactly some kind of sugar coated love story. This is mostly painful and I wouldn't wish this kind of journey on anyone.

There are times all I can do is lay in bed and cry.

I can't talk about it. Not even to my bf who is very very accepting and begs me to open up. I get so fucking tired of going day after day. Just living until I die and who knows what comes after that. Maybe I am crazy no matter how many times this dead guy in my ear tells me I'm not and begs me to not give this all up. All night I've had to keep myself together watching movies with my bf next to me pretending there something in my eye. It happens once in a while.

Now I'm in the bathroom with a hurting stomach not just from thinking about above but I'm lactose intolerant. Had a bowl of fruit with two kinds of Greek yogurt and two bean and cheese burritos. Don't judge me! My bf will be awake all night and maybe into the morning because he got out of bed about 5 hours ago. I know the moment my head hits that pillow I won't be able to stop crying until my meds kick in.

I wake up most days counting the hours to go to bed.

For a long time I looked forward to sleep. Erik started showing up in 2011-ish. I knew him by his hair and he'd show usually at bodies of water and it would take 4 years to finally see his face that I'd come to know and love. Technically I was already in love with in in 2012 but that year I had to let him go.

I thought there was no point to any of it. I stopped being spiritual and tried to convince myself the psychic who predicted Erik's suicide was a fraud. Deep down I knew the truth but what was I supposed to do? A psychic randomly reached out to me in 2017 asking me to talk to him. That's when I knew I was fucked and my life was going to change. Sure for the better but I can't go back no matter if I wanted to.

To be honest, I do sometimes hope I die in my sleep or that I could do what Erik did. God literally knows I tried...three fucking times. Only once since this journey started. Erik made me get up and go to the hospital. I was starting to feel very sick anyway. You can't overdose and die on some meds it turns out and if you try, it's not fun being so sick like that. I only beat myself up for weeks for being so stupid.

Erik always says, "Were together now!"

...Yeah but not really. It's easy for him to say because he's dead and soaked in spirit juice so bad its like he's forgotten what it's like to be human. No he remembers and that's why he's always saying that. I don't want to talk to him tonight. If course he's okay with that. Sometimes there would be days that I don't. It's not like we are constantly talking and whatever. I have a life. We usually save conversations for before bed. I like the idea if having a normal life. Something I always wanted because I was constantly bullied for not being normal. I realize that now that normal was something I was never supposed to be.

So idk if I'll be writing for a while. I don't know how long this funk is going to last.

😘💕 Good night y'all!

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duhragonball · 2 years

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Intro

I keep hearing about this influx of Tik Tok users (Tokkers?), and that sounds like a weird prank. Like, I thought Tik Tok was the cool thing all the young people do now, so why would they want to come use Tumblr, the hottest social media platform of 2011? But I’ve been seeing an uptick in people liking my old posts, so maybe this is a real thing.

I won’t bother telling new people how to use this website. It’s a dumpster fire, and half of my followers have empty blogs that just say “Sem Titulo” in the header. You can pretty much do whatever the hell you want, as long as it doesn’t have nipples in it. I suspect a lot of users just signed up so they could see all the content, which is why they use default pfps and they never reblog anything. They want to be spectators, not participants, and I can respect that.

I am thinking that maybe I should make some sort of introduction to this particular blog, because it’s been almost ten years and I’ve never really spelled out what I’m here for. I mean, yeah, it’s Dragon Ball content, with a little JoJo and Hellsing on the side, but I also overanalyze stuff, while refusing to take the thing too seriously. That’s a tricky balance, and I probably don’t always get it right, but I like to think the “duh” in my username helps set the tone. Dragon Ball is a show about silly cartoon characters beating the shit out of each other. It’s very dumb but also very clever and poignant at the same time.

I did a liveblog of the entire anime in 2019, which is probably the most popular feature I have. You can check that out here, here, and here.

A lot of my more popular post are replies to asks. The tag #ask duhragonball would cover them all. You can feel free to send me a question of your own, but be advised that I turned anonymous asks off last year. I used to take anon asks, but they gradually got stupider and less relevant over time, to the point where it just became unpleasant on multiple levels. The last one was some guy asking me about a direct-to-home-video Popeye movie, no explanation given. I have found that the quality of the asks goes up when people have to take accountability for their questions. I get a lot fewer asks these days, but the ones I do get are 100 times better than the crap I used to see. PROTIP: If you’re worried about getting on my good side, ask me about my OC. This seems like an obvious strategy, but someone out there decided to ask me about Popeye instead, so maybe I’m putting out the wrong signals.

Speaking of my OC, I write fanfic, which I tend to cross-post to this blog. The main feature is this epic-length story featuring my take on the Super Saiyan who lived one thousand years before Goku. I made her a girl because it would piss off people who deserve to get pissed off. She wears yellow pants and she’s sad a lot and she beats the fuck out of bad guys. Is this my magnum opus? Well, it might be. The fic itself is tagged “#lssjluffafic” and the related material is tagged #luffastuff. I think. I’ll have to double check.

That’s about it. At some point, I need to formalize this a little more and make it into a proper pinned post, I guess, but it’ll do for now.

#index

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snini-9 · 3 years

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*Long sigh*

Alright guys. I’m here with an angry post about this. Please bear with me.

[x] This is a map of the Columbia Watershed. The Snake River is highlighted in yellow, the Columbia in blue.

[x] This is a map of the dams on the Columbia and the Snake. Bonneville, The Dalles, John Day, and McNary are on the Columbia. Ice Harbor, Lower Monumental, Little Goose, and Lower Granite are on the Snake.

On February 6, 2021, Rep. Mike Simpson (R-ID) proposed a " $33 billion infrastructure and community investment strategy that would breach the four lower Snake River dams and reorder much of the fish, energy and commodity transportation systems of the Pacific Northwest.”

[x]

Good news, right?

Yeah, it’s great news until you get to the part about the time frame.

“If turned into legislation, passed and implemented according to Simpson’s timeline, Lower Granite Dam would be breached in the summer of 2030 and the river that was swallowed by slackwater 55 years earlier would reemerge. The breaching of Little Goose, Lower Monumental and Ice Harbor dams would follow and the entire stretch of the river would return to its free-flowing state by 2031.“ That’s NINE YEARS. 9. N-I-N-E. The Southern Residents can barely find enough food now. There’s no way they’ll last 9 years and still be an even barely viable population (not that they’re a strong, viable population at the moment anyways).

Lets go over everyone who died from 2010-2020. 10 years, approximately how many years it will be for the river to be free flowing.

L41 (Mega) Male born 1977 to L11, declared missing January 28, 2020 (age 42)

L84 (Nyssa) Male born 1990 to L51, declared missing August 6, 2019 (age 29)

K25 (Scoter) Male born 1991 to K13, declared missing August 6, 2019 (age 28)

J17 (Princess Angeline) Female born 1977 to J5, her second calf, declared missing August 6, 2019 (age 42)

J50 (Scarlet) Female born December, 2014 to J16 (Slick), her fourth calf, declared missing Sept 13, 2018 (age 3)

L92 (Crewser) Male born 1995 to L60 (Rascal)(who washed up on outer WA coast May 2002 at age 30), declared missing June, 2018 (age 23)

J52 (Sonic) Male born late March, 2015 to J36 (Alki), declared missing Sept. 2017 (age 2)

K13 (Skagit) Female born est. 1972 (mother unknown), missing Winter, 2017 (age 45)

J2 (Granny) Female born approx. 1911, declared missing Jan. 2017 (age est. 105)

J34 (Doublestuf), Male born to J22 (Oreo), her first calf, born 1998, found deceased Dec. 20, 2016 (age 18)

J54 (Dipper) Male born to J28 (Polaris) in December, 2015, her second calf, missing Oct. 2016 (age 10 months)

J28 (Polaris) Female born to J17 (Princess Angeline) in 1993, her first calf, missing Oct. 2016 (age 23)

J14 (Samish) Female born 1974 to J12, missing August, 2016 (age 42)

L95 (Nigel) Male born 1996 to L43 (Jellyroll), found deceased March 30, 2016 (age 20)

J55 unk., born Jan., 2016 to either J14, J37 or J40, missing January 19, 2016 (newborn)

L27 (Ophelia) Female born 1965 (est.), mother unk., missing Summer, 2015 (age est. 50)

J32 (Rhapsody) Female born to J20, 1996; found deceased with fetus Dec. 4, 2014 (age 18)

L120 unk., born to L86, (Surprise!), her second calf, early Sept., 2014, missing Oct. 17, 2014 (age 1 mo.)

L53 (Lulu) Female born 1977 to L7 (Canuck), missing Summer, 2014 (age 37)

L100 (Indigo) Male born 2001 to L54 (Ino), missing Summer, 2014 (age 13)

J8 (Speiden) Female born est. 1933 to ?, missing Fall, 2013 (age est. 80)

L79 (Skana) Male born 1979 to L22 (Spirit), missing Summer, 2013 (age 34)

L26 (Baba) Female born est. 1956 to ?, missing Spring, 2013 (age est. 57)

L2 (Grace) Female born est. 1960 to ?, missing Fall, 2012 (age est. 52)

L78 (Gaia) Male born 1989 to L2 (Grace), missing Summer, 2012 (age 23)

K40 (Raggedy) Female born est. 1963 to suspected K18 (Kiska), missing Spring, 2012 (age est. 49)

L5 (Tanya) Female born est. 1964 to ?, missing Spring, 2012 (age est. 48)

L12 (Alexis) Female born est. 1933 to ?, missing Spring, 2012 (age est. 79)

J30 (Riptide) Male born to to J14 (Samish), missing 2012 (age 16)

Twenty-nine dead. Sixteen of these deaths were under the age of 40. Twelve were males, two were unknown genders, fifteen were females.

Now, lets look at the births that survived within that same time frame (2010-2020).

J58 (Crescent), Gender unknown, born to J41 (Eclipse), her second calf, September, 2020

J57 (Phoenix), Male, born to J35 (Tahlequah), her third calf, September, 2020

J56 (Tofino) Female, born to J31 (Tsuchi), her first calf, May, 2019

L124 (Whistle) Gender unknown, born to L77 (Matia), her third calf, January, 2019

L123 (Lazuli) Male born to L103 (Lapis), her first calf, November, 2015

J53 (Kiki) Female born to J17 (Princess Angeline), her fourth calf, October, 2015

L122 (Magic) Male born to L91 (Muncher), her first calf, September, 2015

L121 (Windsong) Male born to L94 (Calypso), her second calf, February, 2015

J51 (Nova) Male born to J41 (Eclipse), her first calf, February, 2015

J49 (Tilem l’nges) Male born to J37 (Hy'shqa), her first calf, August, 2012

L119 (Joy) Female born to L77 (Matia), her first calf, May, 2012

K44 (Ripple) Male born to K27 (Deadhead), her first calf, July, 2011

L118 (Jade) Female born to L55 (Nugget), her fourth calf, January, 2011

L117 (Keta) Male born to L54 (Ino), her second calf, December, 2010

L116 (Finn) Male born to L82 (Kasatka), her first calf, October, 2010

L115 (Mystic) Male born to L47 (Marina), her third calf, August, 2010

K43 (Saturna) Female born to K12 (Sequim), her third calf, February, 2010

J47 (Notch) Male born to J35 (Tahlequah), her first calf, January, 2010

Eighteen were born and survived (to this point when I’m posting this- February 10, 2021). Eleven are males, two are unknown genders, five are females.

Now, we’ve lost 15 females over the course of 10 years and have only gained FIVE in that same time period.

Now that we’ve looked at the births and deaths, lets look at the current living population, shall we?

J pod has 10 adult females, (2 post-reproductive); 3 young females; 2 adult males; 8 young males; 1 unknown gender.

K pod has 7 adult females (2 post-reproductive); 1 young female; 7 adult males; 2 young males.

L pod has 15 adult females (5 post-reproductive); 3 young females; 6 adult males; 9 young males; 1 unknown gender.

Total Males: 15 adult, 18 juvenile

Total Females: 23 reproductive, 9 post reproductive, 7 juvenile

Total Unknown Genders: 2

Now, that may seem like a good number of females, but we have to keep in mind that they need to produce healthy, living, viable, FEMALE calves to keep this population growing. While all calves are loved and cherished in this population, we need more females. This population is on a downhill trend that can NOT LAST NINE YEARS WITHOUT ENOUGH FOOD. “When the whales starve, their pregnancies fail. Southern Resident females used to give birth once every five years, just like females in other killer whale populations. But their average birth frequency has dropped to about once every ten years.“ [x]

For anyone who still might not be getting the picture, here. I have a picture for you. This is the population census that the Center for Whale Research updates on December 31 and July 1 each year.

[x] Do you see the trend? It’s falling. This population was decimated by the capture era (1960s-1970s) and is now continuing to struggle FIFTY YEARS LATER.

Another point: Reducing whale watching will NOT HELP. Whale watching companies help keep recreational boaters away from the whales and help inform them on the laws. They also report sightings and help keep population tabs. If a whale isn’t looking good, they can report that. If they didn’t see a whale for multiple encounters in a row and the CWR hasn’t been able to get out with them, they can let CWR know. This is a community effort, tracking and monitoring the SRKW. Whale Watch boats also ensure that, when Sound Watch (which mostly operates off the West side of San Juan Island) is not around, that local recreational boaters follow the Be Whale Wise guidelines and keep their distance from the Southern Residents.

“The Southern Residents pulled through the shooting era and pulled through the capture era, but if Ken is right, they will not pull through the conservation era. They are long-lived animals, so they will still be here—yet they will be gone...“We’re at the point—we’re past the point—of no return.”“ [x]

I appreciate Rep. Mike Simpson’s efforts to try to breach the Lower Snake River Dams, but the time to act is now. We are watching extinction happen before our very eyes. Breach the dams in 2021! NO FISH, NO BLACKFISH! “What will we lose if we let the Southern Residents go extinct?” “Our minds.” [x]

#no fish no blackfish #breach the dams #free the snake #breach the dams 2021 #free the snake river 2021 #southern resident killer whales #southern resident orcas #southern resident community #SRKW #we are watching extinction happen before our very eyes

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bitterbloodrose · 4 years

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THREE CHEERS FOR SWEET REVENGE

(concept album, it’s about these lovers called the “demolition lovers” and the girl died and the guy kind of makes a deal with the devil and the devils tells him to bring him the corpses of a thousand evil men”)

Helena: it’s about Gerard and Mikey’s grandma who died and Gerard basically says that its this “angry letter to himself” cos he didn’t do enough for her. My favorite part is the bridge into the final chorus and you should also watch the MV its actually Art.

I’m Not Okay (I promise): its very angry and loud cos the narrator is basically saying yeah I know you got problems but fOr FUCKS SAKE I HAVE PROBLEMS TOO YOURE NOT SPECIAL. My favorite bit is the bridge again. Especially the trust me. Watch the MV its designed like a movie trailer.

Cemetery Drive: this is my favorite song on the album and probably one of my favorites of all time cos the LYRICS DUDE “singing songs that make you slit your wrists” and it’s Literally about how the band had to go on this really long road trip I hate this stupid band

Ghost of you: not the BEST song but the MV IS ACTUALLY ART LIKE ITS ACTUAL ART. its just a sad song

Thank You for the Venom: fuck me this is another one of my favorites. This is straight rock right in the veins. The adrenaline will KILL YOU. Apparently this was a diss at the bands critics. The fucking guitar solo makes me ASCEND. Also tHE LYRICS AGAIN.

You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison: hehehheehhehehe gay sex song. It’s literally about gay sex.

THE BLACK PARADE.

Okay fuck this is genuinely genuinely one of the greatest albums of all time. And I would say this even if I wasn’t such a slut for them. Literally everything is perfect and once again its a concept album. They wrote this in the paramour mansion too lol. I’m not joking this is an ACTUAL masterpiece musically and lyrically cos it deFINED genres. Its about this “patient” who dies and joins the black parade and his story of how he died and everything. You have to listen in chronological order.

The End: basically the dudes dead. He did fuck all with his life and he’s dead. He gives No fucks about peoples opinions. The FUCKING LYRICS IN THIS DUDE. “If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see you can find out firsthand what its like to be me” “when I grow up I want to be nothing at all”

Dead!: the transition to this makes me actually ascend. Basically about how the dude wasn’t important in his life and did absolutely nothing. I love it cos it takes this perspective instead of the one thats like “oh you’ll always matter”

This is How I Disappear: bloody hell THIS SONG DUDE THE LITTLE DETAILS. Basically about reaching out to a loved one. The BRIDGE IN THIS HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

The Sharpest Lives: probably one of my favorites on the album. Its basically about living the wild life. The fucking lyrics again. “A light to burn all the empires, so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be” “the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead” “so you can leave like the sane abandoned me” FUCK THE GUITAR TOO.

Welcome to the Black Parade: idk how to explain this but say its an anthem. Its the Bohemian Rhapsody for the emos. Brian May himself agrees cos he played this live with them. This fucking song has so many layers fuck. Its about the dude dying but the LYRICS AGAIN. My favorite part is the post chorus and that has my favorite lyrics in it.

I Don’t Love You: its a ballad, and a weird one cos its basically saying you’re a bitch and I hate you. Its a very salty angry song and I love it cos its Not the normal thing to do. The bit where he goes “would you have the GUTS to say” is SO SO SO SO SO ANGRY like you can TELL he HATES her

House of Wolves: another one of my favorites. Another adrenaline buster. Its about the dudes arrival in hell and hes thinking about how he sinned and everything. The LYRICS and the FUCKING GUITARTRRRR makes me wanna BUST A NUT. Basically the band said hell looks like a fiery jazz club with demons and sinners lol.

Cancer: the Sad Song. The one that makes me wanna sob. Its about how the dudes dying and he’s saying goodbye to everyone. The LYRICS AGAINNNN.

Mama: good lord this song. Fuck. Its a masterpiece. I have No Words ar ALL. Its told in the perspective of a soldier who’s gonna die. And fuckkkk dude the lyricsssss and the GUITARTRRRRREDNEJSJJSSJJS FUCK THIS SONG IS SO GOOD god I wish I could hear this again for the first time

Sleep: this album just does Not Miss. its basically about how the dudes resigned to the fact that he is a bad person and nothing he does will ever change that. The words at the beginning are a recording of gerard way from the paramour mansion when he got sleep paralysis and night terrors. Its such a sad sad sad song cos he’s ACCEPTED his fate and at the end you can hear him scream “wake up” but you can BARELY hear it but its THERE and the dude is trying to wake up but he CANT-

Teenagers: this is just so MESSY and BEAUTIFUL it’s literally about how gerard saw a bunch of teenagers and thought they were scary lol. Again the LYRICS AND THE GUITAR SOLOOOOO

Famous Last Words: ah yes. The song that very literally saved my fucking life lol. The lyrics are so fucking powerful fuckkkkkk. Also YET ANOTHER GUITAR SOLO.

DANGER DAYS: THE TRUE LIVES OF THE FABULOUS KILLJOYS.

yet another concept album are we surprised. This ones hard to explain but basically its about this comic gerard wrote set in 2019 (this was released in 2011) and the worlds gone to shit an apocalypse happened and the world being ruled by this tyrannical corporation (sound familiar?) the Killjoys are a gang of rebels who go round being anarchists and rebels basically. Its very topical I think.

Na na na na na: makes me want to burn down the government. And commit arson and kill the rich. The lyrics are literally about that. A whole BANGER

Planetary Go: its a party song about life being too short basically

Destroya: hehehhehehe sex song again. DONT play this out loud. But fr this is another rebellion ANTHEM. Its all about fighting. And its amazing.

Kids from yesterday: makes me wanna cry. It’s about how far the boys have come. Again lyrics “ you only hear the music when you’re heart begins to break”

Vampire Money: this is the funniest fucking song in the world. So basically Stephenie Meyer wrote Twilight with Gerard as Edward cos she was a massive fan. And she asked him to play edward too but he refused and finally she begged them to do the soundtrack but they refused again and instead put out a diss track for twilight lmfaooo i fucking love them.

Desolation Row: its a cover but its better than the og and the music video is my sexuality.

Light Behind Your Eyes: saddest fucking song oh my god it was written to a fan who was dying

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