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prince-kallisto · 6 months

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How Crowley sets up the Overblots in every book

This is a concept I’ve mentioned off-handedly in several of my theories, but I’ve always wanted to elaborate of what I mean. I believe Crowley is behind the Overblots- and he has potentially tampered with the Overblotters magestones as well. Because no matter how powerful Crowley may be, I don’t think he has the power to affect the backstories of an Overblotter.

However, what a lot of people miss is how he SETS UP the perfect conflict and conditions for an Overblot.

In Book 1, Crowley appears out of nowhere in the library to suggest the magic duel to Ace and Deuce. Without the duel, Riddle wouldn’t have had his position of power questioned in the first place, as he gets set off by his own dorm throwing eggs at him and Ace calling him out for being a “baby.” Book 1 is also where we get a taste of just how little Crowley involves himself with personal conflicts of the students- he could’ve easily outlawed the usage of Riddle’s collars if he so pleased.

I believe Book 1 is highly significant because it’s one of the only two Overblots Crowley is present in (the other being Malleus’). In both the game and the novel, Crowley doesn’t do anything to stop the Overblot, even though I’m sure he’s capable of doing it. I think in the grand scheme of things, it’s very important that Crowley is present in the first student Overblot (Riddle) in the game and the last student Overblot of the game (Malleus). It’s as if he’s purposefully watching the set up of his plans and how the last piece puts it all together.

Book 2 has Crowley doing a similar thing: He fuels Leona’s jealousy and pride by suggesting that Malleus should be in the Hall of Fame. The entirety of Leona’s plans in Book 2 revolves around taking down Diasomnia- or specifically, Malleus. And isn’t it interesting how his entire plan revolves around something that CROWLEY mentioned? Although I do think Leona would’ve done something foolish regardless, something sparked within him at Malleus getting the special treatment. This, and Crowley enlists the help of Yuu and Grim on investigating who is behind the accidents at NRC.

In Book 3, we see Crowley beginning to employ a new strategy: of doing nothing. Haha, it doesn’t sound like him setting up plans, does it? But ancient war strategies valued “doing nothing” when necessary for a reason. Azul’s schemes were something Crowley could’ve easily prevented, but instead, he made a contract with Azul that ensured the survival of Mostro Lounge AND forced the students to take action themselves. Crowley mentioned to Jack and Yuu that he made an arrangement with Azul on releasing all the students from last year by letting Azul continue running the Lounge. But that’s exactly why he asked Jack and Yuu to put a stop to it this year: Crowley knew if he tried to make another deal with Azul, Azul would likely ask for something more- like information or potentially even an ability, neither of which Crowley could risk happening.

Book 4 is a continuation of this strategy, but it’s a lot more sly and dangerous than people think. He left Yuu and Grim almost completely isolated, with no choice but to go to Scarabia. He basically left them in a lions den! It didn’t help that he never answered the phone when Yuu needed help. And Scarabia being so isolated during winter break was the perfect time for Jamil to initiate his plans. However, it goes further back than that.

Jamil would’ve been a likely candidate for Housewarden, if it weren’t for Crowley enlisting Kalim instead for money and connections. I find it interesting that Crowley uses the same type of language that Jamil despises: “you’re a clever student. Surely you understand what that means.” And this is a post for the future, but ever since then, Jamil has been trying to dig up information about Crowley, possibly to blackmail him into making him the housewarden instead. When he “hypnotized” Azul, the first thing he asked was if Azul had information on Dire Crowley. Hmm…

Book 5 is an interesting and subtler case. VDC conveniently has both Vil Schoenheit and Neige LeBlanche, but I doubt Crowley had anything to do with Neige… *eyes his vacation outfit with a crow and an apple*

…ANYWAY, what Crowley was directly involved in was putting the dance group into Ramshackle Dorm together. Basically a drama in the making haha, with tensions rising amongst the group. But I don’t think this was his main plan at all! After all, Vil’s Overblot had very little to do with the drama with him vs Epel. It took Vil to nearly murder Neige to succumb to his frustrations and guilt. What I do think is interesting how several people, including Rook and Malleus mentions that the barrier in the Coliseum was so strong that NO ONE outside would’ve been able to help. Overblotted!Vil could’ve killed the entire group and help was never coming in the first place.

Isn’t that suspicious? Rook claims this barrier is for exams, but why is it THAT powerful that it can hold against an OVERBLOT, where magic is casted without qualms? Especially when considering that Vil is an incredibly powerful mage? Hmm. Although I will admit that the set-up is questionable, I think Crowley had something to do with the barrier. After all, in the manga, he casts a barrier that’s able to withstand Overblot Riddle’s attacks.

Book 6 is another tough one, just because Crowley has little to no involvement in the book…or so it seems. My theory gets even more wobbly here, but Crowley had to be doing something behind the scenes. He was taken away by STYX FOR WEEKS. Called before parliament, and came back without a single punishment. And isn’t that strange just how long he was gone? Furthermore, he knows about STYXs operations and how the Shroud family/Idia runs it, information that not even Trein knew. Additionally, he knew STYX would be coming to attack the school, and surrendered without a question. Although his involvement in the book is little, I think he did a lot of set up and arrangements with STYX behind the scenes, which may have included accepting Idia to NRC in the first place. Book 6 is also the first time we hear about the theory that *someone else* is behind the Overblots.

Book 7 gets even stranger with Lilia’s sudden loss of magic and dropping out. He says he can no longer cast a simple spell…but I don’t think it’s possible for a Fae to lose *all* their magic in such a short span of time naturally. Additionally, isn’t it strange that he wants to go to the Land of the Red Dragons when Levan’s title implies both a Chinese and dragon relation? Why now, after more than 500 years? We still don’t know, but it’s incredibly fishy. This, and we have the possibility of MC returning home.

Isn’t it funny that the two people Malleus loves the most are threatening to leave him at the same exact time? Malleus is an incredibly fragile boy on the inside- and for all this to happen at once with NO explanation? Of course he wouldn’t take it well. Crowley is also the one to let Lilia know that the carriage is coming to pick him up- but this is strange. Have we ever heard before of an NRC carriage raking someone outside of the ceremony days? Was the carriage going to transport Lilia all the way to the Land of the Red Dragons? Does it mean Crowley knows why Lilia’s going, or is he the reason why Lilia’s leaving in such a rush?!?

Anyway. Again, Crowley is present at Malleus’s Overblot, something that’s only happened once before with Riddle. I’d like to point out that compared to Riddle, where he was quick to evacuate the students, he permitted the ATTACK against Malleus. Hm??? Did he know that there was no chance of escape?

I’d like to know what he’s dreaming about when Malleus cast the spell on him too… but I think everything I mentioned is incredibly suspicious. It’s a bit sad that Crowley’s main “attack” takes the form of isolation. Riddle is alone when the others call him out, Yuu and Grim are isolated in Scarabia, Malleus finds the people he loves are suddenly being taken away from him…

Maybe I’m just being angsty haha, but I wonder if Crowley weaponizes isolation because he knows first hand at just how harmful the loneliness is.

#twst theory #long post #twst dire Crowley #twst Crowley #dire Crowley #kallistopost #twisted wonderland #twst #twst overblot #twst riddle #twst malleus

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lokisprettygirl · 8 months

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Brokenhearted (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Modern AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 12 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 13

Summary: Samantha's threat and Daemon's growing popularity brings you trouble.

Warning: 18+, Smut, Angst, violent thoughts, stalking, Discussion of mensuration and Pregnancy, bloodshed, flashbacks of abusive relationship, toxic masculinity, sexual abuse, Samantha, traumatic distressing content, Daemon is a big time smoker so if it’s something triggering don’t read it, alcohol drinking, mention of past trauma and therapy, cigarette smoking, possessive behaviour, violence, baby needs therapy, baby is trying

"Hey" you cupped his cheeks, being careful to avoid the bruises on his face, you hated how he seemed after a fight, so bruised and broken, all you wanted to do was take him to your bed and treat him tenderly. The conversation you had with Viserys just now had made you feel conflicted, you wanted to tell Daemon but you didn't know how he'd react, you didn't want to add to his traumas as he already had more than enough of his share. Realizing that something had happened to him when he wasn't even in his senses would crush him.

You pecked on his lips softly so he pulled away and looked at you curiously,

"I'm not fragile darling, kiss me like you mean it" he mumbled against your mouth so you clutched your fingers around his messy braided hair and kissed him as passionately as you could before you had to pull away to catch your breaths.

"I don't see you as fragile Daemon, you have the most persevering soul i have ever known of but is it wrong of me to want to treat you with care?" you whispered softly so he smiled, the kind of smile that made your heart warm and giddy.

"You flatter me darling, I love that" he pulled you even closer if it was possible and rubbed his nose against yours "I do enjoy your care and your delicate touches against my skin, I really do" he whispered before he kissed you again.

Before things could get heated you made him take a shower because he had to show up for an event and you wanted to wait until you were both in his room. He wasn't the only one with pent up sexual frustration but you didn't want a quickie like last time, you really wanted to love him and please him the way he deserved.

The talk with Viserys was looming over your head, Daemon had to compete in the finale after five days but Samantha had something against him that could ruin it for him, his reputation could take a hit and he'd definitely be prodded over the accusation meticulously which in turn would affect his concentration..

While Daemon was busy with the meet and greet, Viserys caught up with you again.

"Can I ask you a question?' You asked him so he nodded "Why does it matter now? I mean it happened years ago..it's not that big of a deal right?" You asked him so he sighed.

"She's just trying to stir up the controversy, get people to doubt his abilities..I don't think he's ready for that. It took him so long to even return to the sport, god knows how he'd react to this" He answered you in plain and simple words, Daemon was unpredictable in his actions especially when it concerned Samantha.

"So what do we do?" You asked him and he shook his head in defeat, he had no answer, they could take the matter to the court but then everything will come out in the open, every ugly truth from Daemon's past will be investigated and that was the last thing his little brother would want for himself. He knew him far too well to understand that Daemon wouldn't want his past out in the open like that.

"Well ..You know what she wants"

You turned your head to look at him as he said that, frankly a bit appalled by the suggestion.

"You're joking right I'm not letting her hurt him again or be near him anywhere..we should just go to the court, file a case against her" you said to him, your voice came out all agitated and irked. Viserys didn't blame you for that either, he knew what he was suggesting would hurt you.

"He wouldn't want that" Viserys said to you, making you shake your head in disbelief.

"Why not?"

Why won't Daemon want justice? You didn't understand that.

Daemon was at the booth signing cards and meeting his fans but he could see you and Viserys talking from a distance, he couldn't help but wonder what you two were discussing, his curiosity was piqued to say the least. Viserys liked you as a person, he had made it clear, he never really liked Samantha even when Daemon was smitten with her, maybe it was Viserys's own experiences with Allison that he had warned him that she wasn't the woman for him but at the time he was too obsessed with her to pay any heed to Viserys's concern. He wished now that he had listened.

Once the event ended, he took you out for dinner but he could tell you weren't entirely there with him, you seemed lost in your head.

'Something wrong?' He asked you as he chomped on his salad so you smiled,

"Nooo..why?"

"Just..you seem lost" he shrugged as if he wasn't affected by your behavior.

"I'm not lost..just thinking about you"

Well, That wasn't a complete lie.

"Thinking about me? I'm right here darling"

"I know"

He smiled as you said that.

"Do you remember the night we met?" He asked you so you hummed in response, for a moment you didn't respond, your mind went back to reminisce about the night.

"I'll never forget..my knight in black hood..what about it?"

"Nothing..just..glad i was there is all"

A smile graced your features at his words,

"So am I"

You couldn't have gotten any luckier that night.

As you both returned to the privacy of your room he kissed you and you took his jacket off before he picked you up and laid down on the bed with you right on top of him,

"I like you alot" he smiled as his fingers tucked your hair behind your ears,

"I thought you loved me" you made a pout and he pressed his thumb on your puckered lips.

"I do..but I loved Samantha as well and I didn't like her at all..you however..I like you..alot, more than anything"

As soon as you realized what he meant you leaned down and kissed him, never in your life a man had made you feel this way. Never in your life have you been made to feel so loved and important.

"I like you alot too mister"

"I know you do"

You unbuttoned his shirt and his breath hitched in his chest, the position wasn't something he felt comfortable with, he had never allowed a woman to control the situation in that way after everything he had been through.

"You okay?" You asked him softly so with bated breaths he looked into your eyes, your fingers were still undoing the buttons all the way down before you unbuckled his belt.

"I am just ..not comfortable with this darling" as soon as he said that you quickly made him sit up by grabbing onto his arms.

"It's okay..you can always tell me you know that right?" Your fingers curled around his neck as you kissed him. He nodded in response before he slowly flipped you underneath him.

"It's not that i don't want to ..I just..need time love" the pad of his thumb caressed your cheekbones as he whispered.

"All the time in the world baby"

He kissed you again as you finished your words.

All the time in the world? Daemon wanted that. He really wanted that. Even though he knew forever was a myth.

"Make love to me now handsome" you rubbed his lips with your fingertips and you could see his cheeks reddening, something you said made Daemon Targaryen blush. You never thought you'd see that day.

"Mmm are you going to take it like a good girl?" He grabbed your chin with his thumb and forefingers, the gesture made you bite on your lips involuntarily. Every time he dominated you in bed you felt like a submissive girl willing to do anything for her daddy. He just had that sort of effect on you.

"Yess sir" he shook his head as you said that.

"Call me daemon sweet thing"

He wasn't rough with you, not that he didn't want to but you asked him to make love to you and he wanted to love you the way you deserved to be loved. He felt your hands all over him but his mind felt numb with pleasure whenever you caressed his scalp, just the way you touched him so tenderly never failed to warm his heart.

He was so in love with you, a feeling he had sworn to never feel again, he just wished he was able to express it better than this, he wished he was able to live up to the love you had for him in your heart.

That night you slept peacefully but the next morning you woke up to a spicy headline in the entertainment section "Breaking News: Professional UFC Fighter Daemon Targaryen and his Scandal-Filled Shocking Past"

Daemon was everywhere because of his stint in the international league, normally it wouldn't have made such a stir in the media but he was special, your special boy. He had made a miraculous return to the brutal sport after years and nobody was expecting him to even clear the qualifier round, let alone have him in the finals. The sudden increase in his popularity of course came with its unwanted side effects. His past would always haunt him but this time it wasn't Samantha, it was some other woman he had dated during his hoe phase, her name was Diana.

Diana claimed to have had a six-week fling with Daemon three years ago. The article included the link of a Reddit thread she had created, in which she described their intimate encounters in excruciating detail. She rambled on about how he was the most arrogant man she has ever known in her life, she also claimed that he was emotionally abusive towards her.

You knew Daemon and his mood swings were not uncommon, you could understand in a way as how she must have made that assumption that he was abusive but daemon wasn't abusive, he was toxic for sure because of everything he has been through but he didn't lie or promised anything, he was honest with you and you knew he was honest with every other woman before you.

The post had gone viral pretty quickly because she posted a selfie of them together at a club, he seemed so sexy and so intoxicated, there were few other women who came forward in Diana's support to tell everyone that Daemon Targaryen was everything that was wrong with the world.

On that particular thread when another user asked why she stayed with him for weeks if he was so offensive and rude to her, she replied 'Because he was a god in bed'

Well that was true at least.

'How are we going to tackle this?"

Daemon' asked his newly appointed publicist James, he didn't want people talking about him like this, he didn't enjoy such gossip on his name. He didn't even look at the article or read the thread, he was not at all interested, you on the other hand obsessively went through every comment on that post.

You were just watching him converse with his publicist as well as Viserys who was in the hotel room with you two.

His publicist had asked him to just put out an apology statement which he denied quickly, he didn't want to apologize for what had happened between him and those women. As other people left the room he took a cigarette out and lit it up immediately, he was stressed you could tell, every time he reached for a cigarette with such desperation you knew he was extremely stressed and in need of comfort that he'd never ask for.

"Do you remember her?" You asked him as he sat down next to you on the couch,

"I don't want to talk about it" you nodded as he said that and got up from the couch to give him some space but he grabbed your hand and looked up at you .

"Don't be upset" he gave you unintended puppy eyes so you smiled.

"I'm not upset" you cupped his cheeks and leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"Then sit down, don't leave"

"Okay..I just thought you needed space" you sat down next to him so he sighed.

"Not from you..never from you"

"Okay..I'm here then" you smiled as you linked your fingers with his, he put the cigarette out and leaned his head against the couch, those bruises on his face looked worse somehow today.

"I do remember her ..5 '10, brunette, she was young" he told you so you hummed in response as you thought about her, you were more than happy that he wanted to talk about her instead of acting as if he wasn't bothered at all by this nuisance.

"How young?" You questioned.

"Barely in her early twenties at the time, I didn't know that when I–" he looked at you so you smiled,

"Took her home and had sex?" You asked him softly. This wasn't making you feel jealous at all, you didn't feel it, not a smidgen of jealousy.

"Yeah..she looked older in the club"

"It's alright she wasn't a child" he nodded as you said that.

"What was she like?" You cleared your throat so he snickered before his expressions turned serious,

"She was just a girl darling…just another girl"

"Do you remember everyone you have slept with?" You questioned him again,

"Who do you think I am darling? A harlot?" he chuckled before he resumed speaking "Course I remember..those flings never ended in one night stands, they all stuck around for a while, you know i enjoy stability" he said in a nonchalant manner, his voice was devoid of any emotion.

"Did you like any of them?"

"Sexually..yeah I liked all of them" You bit on your cheeks as he said that. Still not jealous, not at all.

"Emotionally?" You asked him sheepishly so he smiled and tilted his head to the side to gauge your expressions.

"Are you jealous sweetheart?"

"Maybe .. I am" your voice came out in a whisper, you didn't want to admit it so quickly.

"I'm glad you're not pretending to feel otherwise," You narrowed your eyes as he said that, "There was one…before you ..but I wasn't obsessed with her. I didn't want to get involved in that way, but she…was different from the others...had to move to LA so we ended on okay terms unlike those other chicks"

Okay you were ready to accept that you were a complete jealous mess now.

"Does she have a name?"

"Miranda" you gulped as he answered quickly as if her name was on the tip of his tongue. To think of him feeling such affections for some other woman boiled your blood.

"Why don't you want to apologize? I mean.. It's just a statement" you asked to steer the conversation so he shook his head.

"Exactly..it's a statement.. apologizing means i did something wrong with them" you nodded as he said that "I never lied, or lured them under false pretenses. They knew what they were getting in from the first day" you agreed as he said that, you also knew what you were getting into because he told you loud and clear but you also knew that you were the first one to fall for him and break that 'no strings attached" code. Maybe those girls wanted more with him as well.

"Yeah you told me the same on our first night together"

You said to him so he thought about it for a moment, maybe he was a jerk to those women he dated casually but he wasn't going to apologize for that or give any justification for his behaviour, he didn't want anyone to see that side of him, to think of him as someone who acted out like a child because he was abused by a girl he loved. He didn't want the world to see him as a victim.

"I did"

"But things have changed between us, maybe they just wanted to change things you know ..fix you ..girls see a emotionally reclusive bad boy and suddenly develop the 'I can fix him' problem"

He chuckled as you said that. The smirk on his face made him look so goddamn annoying and so fuckable at the same time.

"Did you have that problem?" He asked, his voice dripping with smugness.

"Maybe" you got up again so he grabbed your hand and pulled you right on his lap,

"Emotionally reclusive bad boy huh?" He grabbed your chin with his fingers and kissed you passionately until you were struggling to breathe in his mouth. When he finally pulled away you took a deep breath to allow the oxygen to reach your brain.

"You know what I mean"

"Have your opinions changed since then?" He asked you curiously,

"Well you're still a bad boy sometimes"

"For the world yeah" you smiled as he said that "As much as I enjoy watching you burn green with jealousy, you need not feel so. You're my girl, my only one, what you have done for me–"

"I have done nothing -" you cut him off and then he did the same to you.

"Shhhhh you never let me finish my words you know that?"

He pressed his thumb on your lips as he spoke sternly to you, his tone was authoritative, brows were furrowed in slight frustration. You knew he was going to fuck you as soon as this conversation was done and over with.

"Sorry" you mumbled meakly, making the corner of his mouth curved into a smile.

"After that bitch I had sworn to myself that I'd never make the same mistake again but then I met you ..you changed everything for me ..I'm here today because of you" you sighed as he said that. You didn't want to take credit for everything, it didn't feel right or deserved, besides you didn't want him to be with you just because you have supposedly done something for him..

"Daemon you know I love you.. but I don't want you to love me because you feel that you havee to love me" one of his brows raised as you said that.

"That is what you got from what I said?" He asked you as he looked in your eyes intently but you didn't respond "You're such a silly girl you know that?" he cupped your cheeks with his large hands and kissed you lovingly before he spoke again,

"I know I'm not the most expressive bloke but you're not an obligation for me..I am not in love with you because you're here whenever I need you. I'm in love with you because you make me want to be here with you all the time, you make me wish i could spend every fucking second of my life with you" your arms wrapped around his neck as he finished speaking.

You had your insecurities as well, you didn't feel enough for him, even more so now that you have seen how women were reacting to him. Yeah some people were put off by his arrogance but most were turned on by his prowess in the bedroom arena. The more famous he gets the more attention he will have on him, you didn't want to lose his attention or lose him to some other temptations. You didn't think you'd be able to come out unscathed if he was the one to break your heart in that way.

This feeling combined with what you knew about Samantha was enough to make you feel stressed out of your mind.

"I am scared of losing you" you mumbled softly so his grip around your waist tightened "I control myself alot ..with you" he looked at you confused as you said that.

"What do you mean love?"

"I can get emotionally clingy and it's not good ..not for me.. especially not for you"

"You can cling to me darling..it won't bother me..I'll do anything for you" you placed your palm on his lips as he said that.

"Don't say that ..I don't need such power over you"

He smiled at your words, that was the whole reason why Samantha was able to manipulate him and then ruin him slowly. She was able to do it because he allowed her to do it.

"Alright but you need to let loose love, I'm all yours i promise..why are you so anxious hmm..I can feel it" your eyes teared up as he said that, he then hugged you as warmly as he could, as tightly as possible without suffocating you both.

"I'm just .. being silly, I'm your silly girl" he couldn't help but smile. He adored you, completely and hopelessly.

"That you are, though is it an ailment a good fucking can cure?"

"Mmmm maybe"

He quickly laid you down on the couch as you said that, his shirt was off his body in one quick motion, he wasn't a foreplay type of guy but then he kissed you tenderly, so slowly and sensually, soft fleeting kisses that made your brain turn into a mush, he didn't stop until he had you squirming and humping against him for some friction against your core.

He placed his arms on the head of the couch as he shoved his cock in your wet warm slippery cunt, his thrusts were torturous, every moment of his hips was sluggish and deliberate. He enjoyed the look of ecstasy on your face, he kept his eyes on you as he drew several orgasms out of you, one after another.

He was so in love with you and he never wanted to hurt you, he really didn't want to hurt you but he knew he was going to do so, he just thought he had more time with you, he didn't want to fuck it up so easily, so quickly..he wanted forever with you.

But the moment the truth about what you and Viserys were hiding from him was revealed to him, he knew he was going to break your heart and hurt you. He was going to do everything he had promised not to do to you. He had to leave you and he knew it was a decision he'd regret for the rest of his full life.

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

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#daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen x female reader #daemon Targaryen x reader smut #daemon x reader angst #daemon targaryen x reader fluff #non canon au #modern au

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literallyjusttoa · 5 months

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Friendship is Magic (Post-Toa Version)

About a year ago I made a couple posts about some niche gods I wanted Apollo to become friends with and now I’m back at it! Have some more post-toa relationships for our dear boy. (Warning, this is really long)

Prometheus: Ok, so I actually already said I want Apollo and Prometheus to be friends, but over the last year I have only grown to find this idea to be so interesting. I see the two of them as being so similar, with a strong love and respect for mortals, and a bleeding heart that ostracizes them from their family, who are more easily able to turn a blind eye to any tragedies that occur. But while I think their base personalities and motivations are similar, I think their tactics differ just enough to cause conflict. But the two respect each other so much that they can push and pull at each other enough to find a middle ground. Apollo has always been impressed by Prometheus’ craftiness, and lengths he’s willing to go for his own beliefs. Prometheus has held affection for Apollo for a long time, mainly bc he’s Leto’s son and he pleaded with Zeus to let Prometheus out of his punishment. Recently tho, Prometheus has been relieved to finally see another immortal who is just as against the state of Olympus as he is.

Idk if I’m explaining this right, but like. Apollo’s going to spend a lot of time trying to bring his family around to accepting the flaws of Olympus and the way they treat mortals. And that’s good! And he wants to do that! But when you’ve been a victim of a corrupt system, and then you have to spend a lot of mental energy helping other people realize how much this system hurts people, it can be such a relief to talk with someone who already agrees with you that things are fucked. LIke, “yeah, you don’t have to convince me that you’ve been hurt, I’m not going to challenge you on that at all, or try to justify it, I just believe you, and I agree that things need to change.” That’s what I want these two to be for each other.

Menoitios: The brother of Prometheus, and Titan of violent rage and rashness. If Prometheus allows Apollo to air out his hurt, Menoitios helps him to work with the violent, and often terrifying responses he’s had to the trauma he’s ignored. Apollo has not been a good person, and he is often horrified by the actions he’s taken in the past. Instead of letting him spiral, Menoitios tells him that he can’t stop these behaviors until he finds the reasons behind them. He also tells Apollo that the emotion that often led to him lashing out and hurting or even killing others, that feral rage that came from being raised up in such a toxic society and being harmed on such a deep level, does not have to be inherently harmful. They work through coping mechanisms, and work on using that rage to make real change. Oftentimes, Apollo and Menoitios can be found sparring, no holds barred. They go until their energy is spent, and then Menoitios carts Apollo over to Prometheus and caringly forces him to talk it out.

Aporia: Aporia is one of Nyx’s kids! I picked her specifically bc while there are a lot of Nyx’s children that I think would be interesting for Apollo to interact with, Aporia’s domain is especially interesting to me. Aporia is the personification of want, difficulty and powerlessness. These are three things that Apollo has definitely struggled with, and will continue to struggle with as he goes on post-toa. It’s especially hard for him because these three emotions are so heavily looked down upon on Olympus. Gods are not allowed to desperately want, or to struggle, or to be powerless. Apollo has hidden these feelings away for so long, and then he was forced back into them during the trials. It’s jarring, and he hasn’t really found peace with it yet. So when he starts getting visits from a literal representation of the parts of himself he wants to push down the most, he freaks out. But Aporia is not there to make him more powerless, or wanting. Instead, she wants him to embrace these parts of himself, to understand how they make him whole. The two of them struggle to connect, but when they do, their friendship is so impactful.

Boreas: I have been introduced to this ship and I actually love it oml. With Boreas, Apollo gets the one thing that he really needs after the trials. REST. Boreas pulls Apollo away from Olympus, and lets him get some good rest in his palace. It helps that the two of them have a very peaceful, slow and steady sort of relationship, where there are very little expectations on either side. (Basically, you’re hot, I’m hot, we wanna make out sometimes, let's just do that and be chill about it) Boreas is calm, but can be very stern at times. When he knows what needs to be done, he gets it done. Oftentimes this no-nonsense attitude helps Apollo to start moving too. When Apollo wants to give in, Boreas is the type to be like “You can rest for a while here, and when you get up again, I’ll help you figure out what to do.” And especially post-toa this is really helpful for Apollo. They cute <3.

Euphrosyne: Apollo’s half-sister! She’s the daughter of Zeus and Eurynome. She’s also one of the Kharites (Charities, or Graces) and she’s the goddess of Mirth. I think after Jason, Apollo reached out to some of his half-siblings, honestly just wanting to make sure they’re all doing ok. He and Euphrosyne hit it off quickly, and the two of them really just have fun together. Apollo is a person who feels his emotions so strongly, both sorrow and joy. So while he needs people around him to help him through his tragedies, he also needs someone who can match him at the levels of wonder and delight. These two hype each other up a lot, and while that might be two much for others, it’s what the two of them need to work through the emotions they have. They watch movies and listen to music that they rant about for hours, gush about their closest friends and family, and just sit and bask in it all sometimes. It��s just a lil bubble of joy and comfort.

Haha psych! Got you! I disguised this as a friends post, but it’s actually my roundabout way of giving Apollo therapy while there’s no god of therapy!! Heehee I’m such a prankster!!

#trials of apollo #toa apollo #lester papadopoulos #sunny speaks #long post #shut up sunny #I wrote this all rly quick so it's a bit all over the place but yeah #friends

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gyu-effect · 1 year

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sucker (for you) || j.ww (teaser)

PAIRING || Wonwoo x Female Reader

GENRES || Best Friends To Lovers AU, College AU, Humour, Fluff

SUMMARY || First year in college was always known to be stressful with all the assignments to complete, parties to enjoy and lectures to attend. But for you, it was a whole different type of stress: the conflicting (and growing) feelings of affection towards your best friend. Falling for him isn’t an option, but neither is avoiding him. So what do you do when you are down bad for the one and only Jeon Wonwoo?

Or, in which, one drunk party sends you hurtling down a rollercoaster of love for your best friend.

SERIES MASTERLIST || teen, age

A/N || If you want to be added in the taglist, send me an ask!

“You are going to burn holes into his face.”

Kwon Soonyoung hissed into your ears, causing you to glare at him. He raised his eyebrows, as though challenging you and you rolled your eyes.

“I’m not staring at him, I’m just…worried.”

“Worried he’s going to end up sleeping with her?”

“Shut up, Kwon.” You muttered, eyes back onto your best friend, whom you were sure was going to regret every single action the next day. If he remembered, that is. True, the last few weeks had been extremely stressful for him, but to see the reserved Jeon Wonwoo you knew become drunk and act this wild was something new even to you, despite being his best friend for more than ten years.

To the eyes that barely knew him, Wonwoo would come as a tsundere male lead, quiet and perfect in every way. A man who had control of all his movement, and thus also every single girl’s heart. Undoubtedly, he was very handsome. But you knew that the man you called your best friend was far behind the romantic hot heartthrob everyone painted him to be. In fact, he probably had a certificate in the loser department. He was nowhere close to perfection and was too laid back in life. What time should have been spent in getting a social life (you were sure he would have been an alpha male if he had just put in a little more effort) was instead used in levelling up in games.

To say you were shocked would be an understatement. He had been on the dance floor for the past two hours which was definitely not a Wonwoo like characteristic. Right now he was aggressively moving his shoulders while awkwardly jerking his head. You were a hundred percent sure if this had been any other normal situation, he would have been very much flustered and embarrassed. But the high level of intoxication in his blood must have made him lose all his senses. As you watched Wonwoo pull out another fancy move (much to the delight of the crowd of girls surrounding him), a completely unrelated question popped into your head. Where had he even learnt those moves from?

“He asked Chan to teach him a few steps, but I guess Chan thought he wasn’t serious.” Soonyoung replied. You let out a small ‘I see’, embarrassed that you had accidentally said your thoughts out loud. When had he asked Chan to teach him? Was there any particular reason? And why hadn’t he told you about this before?

“It is quite shocking. I always thought Wonwoo was the guy who always kept to himself and his comic books.” Soonyoung said. To his friends and you it was definitely a new thing, but clearly the crowd didn’t think so judging from the squeals erupting around him.

“Did he say why did he suddenly want to learn how to dance?” You asked this time. The boy next to you shrugged, nonchalantly chugging down another drink from the red plastic cups. You grimaced, wondering how people even liked drinking. You personally hated parties and loud music but you didn’t mind if it meant hanging out with your friends. But no one mentioned that today’s party would involve even other people. Still, you managed to keep your sanity throughout the party just trying to enjoy yourself with your friends.

“Your guess is as good as mine. I highly doubt that he wanted to learn to dance on the dance floor. Hey, maybe he was trying to impress you?” Soonyoung grinned at you wickedly.

“Excuse me?” You choked on the chip you had just begun eating.

“Everyone can see the uwu heart eyes you two give each other.”

“And this wrong insight into things is exactly why everyone supports the anti horanghae agenda instead.”

Soonyoung pouted at you and you let out a laugh, your irritation melting away at his cute reaction. You patted his back before adding, “Don’t worry. I’m for the horanghae agenda. It’s absolutely priceless to see the disgust on Minghao and Jihoon’s faces. I will always support you in your endeavour just to provoke them.”

“Y/N! I thought you were my friend!”

You laughed once more before turning your attention back to the dance floor. For a second you panicked when you couldn’t find Wonwoo. He was already an awkward man in front of girls (a point girls often misunderstood thinking he was avoiding them because he was a frat boy who didn’t flirt unless absolutely necessary), and you doubted if he would like a drunk mistake to be the reason he stopped showing his face to the college.

Relief flooded you when you finally found him at the corner of the room with some random girl you knew by face (you weren’t that good with interacting but that was beside the point here). But that relief turned back into panic as you watched the girl unzip his leather jacket and discard it, hands moving for his shirt.

“And that is my cue to leave.” You nodded to Soonyoung who seemed to be enjoying this moment. Now you weren’t the type to meddle into your best friend’s love life but if the said best friend was a shy anime-lover boy with no alcohol control and was about to drunk make out with someone he had just met, you were going to be the supportive friend you were and save the little dignity he might have left after this night.

Picking his jacket up from the floor, you accidentally rammed into the couple, causing both of them to stumble in daze.

“Ah, Wonwoo! I was looking for you! Come one, we need to leave, you have a mini test tomorrow, remember?”

Wonwoo blinked at you in confusion, and you just smiled at the girl before pulling him out of the crowded place. You ignored her screaming about tomorrow being a Sunday and focused on getting the two of you safely out of a room filled with drunk people. It was hard pulling a drunk man who kept stumbling on his own leg but you finally made it out of the stuffy place without losing each other.

When the cool night air finally hit the two of you, you let go of his hand and let out a sigh.

“Thanks.” He muttered beside you, though you were not exactly sure what he was thanking you for, since you were sure he was having a blast back at the party. You glanced at him and tsked, annoyed by his choice of clothing. He was just wearing a sleeveless shirt and skinny jeans, clearly shivering in the cold night air. His hair was slightly messed up and his glasses were hanging at his nose tip.

“You shouldn’t have taken this off.” You said handing him back his jacket. He just draped it around his shoulders before giving you a lopsided drunk smile.

You wondered what all the girls would say when the drunk Wonwoo they had envisioned was nothing like the real drunk Wonwoo you knew. True, he did sensibly drink all the time, but today he seemed to have let go and judging by his flushed face, you were glad you got him out of the party before he committed a stupid mistake.

You began walking towards your dorm when Wonwoo called you.

“Y/N.”

Turning back at him, you looked at him questioningly, asking him to continue.

“Come here for a second.” But before you could walk to him, he himself stumbled towards you, looking eager to tell whatever was in his mind.

You frowned and gently pushed his glasses up so that he didn’t strain himself to see through them.

All of a sudden, Wonwoo grabbed your hand to pull you in closer, filling the few centimetres you had in between each other. Your eyes widened in shock when you felt his lips brush against yours. He immediately pressed his lips on your lips, your eyes fluttering close at the sudden feeling of warmth.

A million different thoughts were running through your head but they all seemed to be drowned out by an exploding feeling in your heart. You inhaled his scent; a mixture of alcohol and the comforting smell that always lingered around him; and felt the world stop for a second.

#╼ 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐑 #╼ 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 #wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo x reader #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #wonwoo x you #wonwoo x y/n #jeon wonwoo x you #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo angst #wonwoo fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen fanfic

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wonderingwhyiam · 9 months

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[GOS2 SPOILERS] About that Kiss...

I was looking at Mr. Gaiman's reply to that one ask about kisses and how he said "if you haven't got it by then you'll never get it". And I was thinking about all the gifsets and imagesets and meta posts unanimously calling the kiss Crowley's confession. But it's not a confession, at least not the confession of love that it's being taken as. (For that, we need a lot of context, but beware because it's a while before I get to the actual kiss.)

First: Aziraphale and Crowley have been in love, if that's what we can call the transcendental connection between two supernatural entities, since basically the start of the show. It's always been canon, they've both known about each other's feelings (think Aziraphale saying that Crowley gets so happy when he can rescue him, think Crowley accompanying his angel through the whole magic show song-and-dance because he knows Aziraphale is doing it for him). They're certainly not under the impression that their affections are unrequited.

Second: Crowley may know that Aziraphale loves him, but he also knows that Aziraphale's understanding of him and of love in general is different from his own. Crowley has understood that neither heaven nor hell are entirely black or white, and that's one of the reasons he wants to stay on Earth (along with many others). But Aziraphale hasn't, and a central theme of many S2 scenes is Crowley trying to show Aziraphale that the 'heavenly' way isn't always right. This leads to an ongoing conflict between them, one which neither of them acknowledge and Aziraphale doesn't even seem to be aware of.

To put this into perspective: think of that one friend, relative, partner, whatever of yours who is in a toxic/abusive situation. Think of your frustration that they just don't understand how bad it is, because they've never known any other way of living. And if you've ever been in the same situation and gotten out, then you know that it takes a lot of mental effort and willpower to realise that you need to get out instead of trying to improve it from within.

Now let's go back to Crowley. He, like the audience, finds it obvious that Metatron is only manipulating Aziraphale back into their control. Aziraphale just seems so naïve for thinking that it'll be better from the inside. Doesn't he see that Crowley and his bookshop and the Earth are where he'll be happy?

But from Aziraphale's point of view, a figure in extreme power who he trusts to be correct has just told him that he can have all three of these and more. Aziraphale has come to see that his coworkers and/or superiors aren't really good (remember the end of S1), but still believes that the side of Heaven is good overall (an example is the grave-digging bit). Textbook forgiveness of your abuser, but let's not get into that. A 'perfect' solution (bringing his partner into Heaven aka the abusive situation with him so that they can 'redeem' it and as an added bonus pull his partner out of a situation which Aziraphale thinks is bad) has just appeared. Why isn't Crowley seeing it?

So finally, third: what is Crowley going to do? he's been trying to get his angel out of this mindset for literal millennia, but Aziraphale still thinks that Heaven is unilaterally good. Aziraphale still tries to deny his love for Earth, despite his every action pointing to the opposite (such as the fact that he literally preserves books for as long as possible, but says 'nothing lasts forever' as if he's okay abandoning it all) and still thinks that Crowley would come to heaven if he could. At this point, Crowley knows that his millennia of love and effort aren't enough. He is starting to feel like they'll never be enough. And we get him putting on his glasses, shutting himself off, making some last-ditch attempts to remind Aziraphale that he's losing all of Crowley's faith and vulnerability towards him by repeatedly choosing Heaven. Not just that, he's losing the magic of humanity as well (no nightingales). Aziraphale says he needs Crowley, so why does he never try to understand him? Why does he always call it "tempting" and never accept that maybe there isn't a single definition of Good?

That kiss isn't a confession; there's nothing to confess. They've both thrown all their cards on the table and none of them match. It is not an "I love you." It is an "I love you, but." I love you, but I can't keep trying and waiting and trying and waiting only for you to choose your abusers every time. I love you, but your constant denial of my good intentions has worn me down. I love you, but I'm tired.

And so Crowley leaves. He'll wait, of course, with his Bentley, but he can't keep taking the first step and then being told he's going "too fast for" Aziraphale. And when Aziraphale once again chooses his own familiar hell in heaven over everything else, what else can Crowley do but accept it?

#bonus: why does aziraphale say 'i forgive you'?#i like to think he's forgiving crowley for what he thinks is crowley's inherent evil #like an 'i forgive you for not understanding that heaven is the better option'#even though it's aziraphale who doesn't understand what the offer means #anyway yeah sorry if this essay has already been done #i just had to also get it out of my system #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #aziraphale #crowley #crowley x aziraphale #good omens s2 spoilers #good omens meta

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thestarsfightagainstusmyfriend · 9 months

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Excerpts from letters between Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens that make me cry

[5 December 1778, From Laurens to Hamilton] “Adieu, my dear boy. I shall set out for camp tomorrow.”

This letter is the first correspondence between just Hamilton and Laurens, as opposed to a letter written jointly to or jointly by them, that I could find in the archives. The letter itself is rather unemotional, just a brief letter about Charles Lee’s “Vindication to the Public” but these last two sentences are so gentle compared to the rest of the letter and the phrase “my dear boy” always makes me melt.

[April 1779, From Hamilton to Laurens] “Cold in my professions, warm in ⟨my⟩ friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it m⟨ight⟩ be in my power, by action rather than words, ⟨to⟩ convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that ’till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You sh⟨ould⟩ not have taken advantage of my sensibility to ste⟨al⟩ into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into ⟨me⟩.”

I would be absolutely remiss if I did not include this paragraph, arguably the most famous of any correspondence between the two. I can recite this paragraph from memory but I’m still never going to be able to be normal about this. “by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you” always gets me because it refers both to the physical distance between the two men, but also Hamilton’s inability to love Laurens openly and freely like he wishes he could, even when they are physically together. And how he says he wishes he could CONVINCE Laurens that he loves him, like Laurens has a hard time believing he could be loved omfg. And the teasing way that he goes about blaming Laurens for tricking him into falling in love with him like it’s so adorable??? I could talk about this letter for ages, and I might delve further into it in its own post because I have So Many Thoughts.

[14 July 1779, From Laurens to Hamilton] “Ternant will relate to you how many violent struggles I have had between duty and inclination—how much my heart was with you, while I appeared to be most actively employed here—”

It’s so funny to me that Hamilton’s way of expressing his affection while physically separated from Laurens is to pledge his undying love and tease him relentlessly while Laurens is just like “I tried to pretend I wasn’t thinking about you but apparently I’m too obvious 🙄🙄🙄” like it’s too cute.

[11 September 1779, From Hamilton to Laurens] I acknowlege but one letter from you, since you left us, of the 14th of July which just arrived in time to appease a violent conflict between my friendship and my pride. I have written you five or six letters since you left Philadelphia and I should have written you more had you made proper return. But like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued. I had almost resolved to lavish no more of them upon you and to reject you as an inconstant and an ungrateful ——. But you have now disarmed my resentment and by a single mark of attention made up the quarrel. You must at least allow me a large stock of good nature.”

I find this so fucking funny like Hamilton literally admits that he wrote FIVE OR SIX LETTERS and got all mad that Laurens wasn’t writing him back but forgave him literally immediately. The way he compares himself to a “jealous lover” and his letters “caresses” like?? Something about this letter is just too fucking funny to me.

[8 January 1780, From Hamilton to Laurens] “I have strongly sollicited leave to go to the Southward. It could not be refused; but arguments have been used to dissuade me from it, which however little weight they may have had in my judgment gave law to my feelings. I am chagrined and unhappy but I submit. In short Laurens I am disgusted with every thing in this world but yourself…”

This quote is from a pretty depressing letter where Hamilton says he doesn’t believe that he should be nominated for a commission which Laurens was favored for, rejected, and then suggested Hamilton for. He says he believes he is the least qualified, he tells Laurens that he made an effort to go Southward (where Laurens is) but was dissuaded from it, and then goes on to make a rather depressing remark that he hates everything but Laurens and a few other honest men and that he wishes to “make a brilliant exit” from life, and that he doesn’t feel “fit for this terrestreal Country.”

[30 March 1780, From Hamilton to Laurens] “Adieu my Dear; I am sure you will exert yourself to save your country; but do not unnecessarily risk one of its most valuable sons. Take as much care of yourself as you ought for the public sake and for the sake of Yr. affectionate A. Hamilton”

I find this quote so sweet. Mind you, Laurens injured himself in EVERY battle he ever fought in, and Hamilton had to witness a lot of it firsthand. The way he gently asks Laurens to Please Please Please Don’t Be An Idiot And Die Please I’m Serious is so sweet. It reminds me of “That Would Be Enough” when Eliza says “The fact that you’re alive is a miracle / Just stay alive, that would be enough”

[30 July 1780] The archive reads: “[Laurens] Has executed Hamilton’s commission by arranging for a tailor to make a hat for him”

I don’t even know why I find this so cute.

[12 September 1780, From Hamilton to Laurens] “I hate Congress—I hate the army—I hate the world—I hate myself. The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you and Meade. Adieu”

Very reminiscent of “In short Laurens I am disgusted with every thing in this world but yourself…” The first sentence of this letter kills me too. He apologizes that the two have not written each other much recently, and assumes that one of his letters to Laurens must have not been delivered but I feel like it’s so obvious that Laurens is ignoring him after Hamilton told him that he was getting married… like Laurens is literally on house arrest, it’s not like he’s too busy to write…

[16 September 1780, From Hamilton to Laurens] “In spite of Schuylers black eyes, I have still a part for the public and another for you; so your impatience to have me married is misplaced; a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now. Let me tell you, that I intend to restore the empire of Hymen and that Cupid is to be his prime Minister. I wish you were at liberty to transgress the bounds of Pensylvania. I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation. My Mistress is a good girl, and already loves you because I have told her you are a clever fellow and my friend; but mind, she loves you a l’americaine not a la françoise. Adieu, be happy, and let friendship between us be more than a name.”

THIS FUCKING LETTER OMFG so much to unpack. He reassures Laurens that while he loves Eliza publicly, he is still devoted to him, and he implies that Laurens has been encouraging him to find a wife to CURE HIM OF HIS AFFECTIONS FOR LAURENS??? And I can’t even… Hamilton straight up invites him to watch him deflower his wife on his wedding night I can’t even get into that. This whole fucking letter…

[11 October 1780, From Hamilton to Laurens] “In one of the visits I made to [John André] (and I saw him several times during his confinement) he begged me to be the bearer of a request to the General for permission, to send an open letter to Sir Henry Clinton. “I foresee my fate (said he) and though I pretend not to play the hero, or to be indifferent about life; yet I am reconciled to whatever may happen, conscious that misfortune, not guilt, has brought it upon me. There is only one thing that disturbs my tranquillity—Sir Henry Clinton has been too good to me; he has been lavish of his kindness. I am bound to him by too many obligations and love him too well to bear the thought, that he should reproach himself, or that others should reproach him, on the supposition of my having conceived myself obliged by his instructions to run the risk I did. I would not for the world leave a sting in his mind, that should embitter his future days.” He could scarce finish the sentence, bursting into tears, in spite of his efforts to suppress them; and with difficulty collected himself enough afterwards to add, “I wish to be permitted to assure him, I did not act under this impression, but submitted to a necessity imposed upon me as contrary to my own inclination as to his orders.” His request was readily complied with, and he wrote the letter annexed, and with which I dare say, you will ⟨be as⟩ much pleased as I am both for the dic⟨tion⟩ and sentiment.”

This literally isn’t even everything he told Laurens about André. He is absolutely enamored with André and I find it so funny he thought it necessary to write this all to Laurens.

[4 February 1781, From Hamilton to Laurens] “Adieu ⟨my⟩ beloved friend. Do justice to my ⟨regard⟩ for you. Assure yourself that ⟨it is⟩ impossible more a[r]dently to wis⟨h for your⟩ health safety pleasure and success ⟨than⟩ I do.”

Just one of a thousand examples of Hamilton trying desperately to convince Laurens that he cares about him.

[This is the final sentence in Laurens’ final letter to Hamilton, written a month or so before his death, J. C. Hamilton didn’t give an exact date when publishing] “Adieu, my dear friend; while circumstances place so great a distance between us, I entreat you not to withdraw the consolation of your letters. You know the unalterable sentiments of your affectionate Laurens.”

YOUR AFFECTIONATE LAURENS that always makes me teary-eyed because Laurens is nowhere near as affectionate as Hamilton in any of his letters but the last thing he tells Hamilton is that he will always be Hamilton’s “affectionate Laurens” like it makes me so emotional.

[This is from the end of Hamilton’s final letter to Laurens, written about two weeks before Laurens died] “Quit your sword my friend, put on the toga, come to Congress. We know each others sentiments, our views are the same: we have fought side by side to make America free, let us hand in hand struggle to make her happy… Yrs for ever, A Hamilton”

SO MUCH ABOUT THIS JUST GUTS ME like the way Hamilton implores Laurens to stop fighting and join him when less than two weeks later Laurens would die in battle and the YRS FOR EVER LIKE I can’t handle this I had to go take a little break to cry.

#hamilton #alexander hamilton #american revolution #amrev history #amrev #laurens #historical lams #lams #john laurens #queer history

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the-windrider · 1 year

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They Hate Her Because They Ain't Her: She's Storm

Now: The Quiet Council is reeling from the revelation of Sins of Sinister timeline. Charles - the last of Krakoa's founders, Hope and Exodus - mutant messiah and her champion, and The White Queen have all been compromised genetically by Sinister; They self isolate as a precaution. Storm, after learning the full truth of the Sins of Sinister timeline, is disgusted, disappointed, and infuriated yet hopeful the Council will change.

Storm takes charge. After verifying and examining the compromised QC, she has them watch a video of their roles in SoS timeline, where they terrorized the galaxy. Storm quietly observes their response and measured their capacity to be the change needed to divert something like this happening again.

Charles. Storm knows him to be so full of himself that he thinks all of his actions and thoughts are what keeps Krakoa intact, and so he acts as if he's the sole bearer of Krakoa's survival, even though he hasn't been mutantkinds sole champion for decades. Storm also knows it's this mentality that makes him dangerous and more than capable of using people as chess pieces for his dream.

He did this to Ororo by telling her thar her divinity, which is based on providing and protecting her people, was a lie, and battling his war was the truth. At the end of this issue, Storm observes he still acts as if he's the sole bearer of the burden of what's occurred. She's frankly fed up with his self-imposed martyrdom and acting as if he's the sole authority on mutant and Krakoan business.

Hope and Exodus, a so-called mutant Messiah and her zealous champion, have committed to these roles over the course of their time together on the Council. The revelation of their tyranny as a part of the Sinister Council shatters that bond and horrified Hope. The abuse of Krakoa's faith in them shook Hope enough to immediately dissociate with her Messiah status. Exodus is literally and metaphorically beaten. Storm notes the willingness to change.

Emma appears calm and keeping her composure, and unmoved by the revelation, which disappoints Storm. Emma then accuses Storm of also being culpable for the Sins of Sinister timeline for not noticing the Quiet Council was compromised for so long (despite it being explained in great detail how the Sinister Council manipulated events, publically justified their actions with cover ups, and disguised their Sinister takeover specifically to deceive Storm and the rest of the public).

Emma also cites Storm success in uniting Arakko in common cause and the veneration of her Rebellion in the SoS timeline as her losing sight of her responsibilities to Krakoa, which makes no sense, but I digress. Storm, however, does think of the legimate concern.

Emma raises the question of how Storm will prioritize Krakoa and Arakko now that Xavier, Emma, Hope, and Exodus are stripped of their votes which is Storm's solution to preventing any possible Sinister tampering with Krakoan political power.

Storm, not being a hypocrite and seeing a change is also needed from her as well, creates a solution to any future absence she may have in any future QC meeting: she consents to give her vote to Colossus and to act as her proxy who is famed for his noble heart and intentions. Yet no one notices he's a spy and agent for foreign powers despite 3 telepaths on the Council.

This issue addresses that Sinister may be the cause of that terrible timeline, but it's the Council hidden agendas, ideologies, and habits that also affect their work. Storm is cognizant and creates solutions, Hope immediately sheds her habits, Exodus faith is tainted, while Emma and Charles stay the same and even shift blame. Charles even moreso in a later conversation.

I personally think most of the Quiet Council need to be replaced and given specific duties that serve Krakoa, like Storm's work, as liaison to Arakko, and the Voice of Sol. I also think these conflicts are for plot convenience, not based in the capabilities of the council, such as Storm not choosing a proxy who personally knows her will and intentions and share a connection with her, like Kitty, Kurt, or Callisto. Storm appears to be the only one actually doing work outside of voting. What do you think?

#ororo munroe #marvel comics #storm #marvel #x-men #x-men comics #the x-men #wednesday spoilers #the-windrider #emma frost #charles xavier #colossus #hope summers #exodus

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kisilinramblings · 25 days

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A question I would love the writers explore with Adrien's character for S6-S7 - in the context Adrien never finds out the true about his father being Hawkmoth during those seasons - is can someone's death really amends for all their wrongs?

It is a common trope in stories in which a villain does one good action to help the heroes before dying as a way to "redeem" themselves. But often times, since it occurs toward the end of the story, it is not much explored narratively how it affects the heroes' judgment of the person. And here, the villain did make a Wish - which isn't viewed as a good thing by the heroes - but he used the power for something else, dying as part of the balance.

Like, the parisians believe Gabriel died as an hero and they raise a statue to honor his contribution and sacrifice. Even Adrien thinks that his father died doing everything in his power to stop Monarch (which is half true as Gabriel dying did stop Monarch in a way). For them all, it is a sacrifice and that would make Gabriel an hero, right? But does being "heroic" one time truly correct / erase the mistakes and wrongs Gabriel did?

IRL, we see statues being vandalized, beheaded and toppled to the ground and even thrown in the nearest river because people who are aware of the atrocities committed by said "hero" cannot let that figure continue to have a statue in their honor and take action despite the autorities and rest of population's judgment.

Gabriel - as a civil - isn't all white or black. Some of his old employees could remember how terrified they were of the persona. Other would praise his accomplishments as a fashion designer. Some people of his past as Gabi could come back and offer an entire different perspective of who the man was. After all, Gabriel isn't there anymore to stop them.

With Adrien, we can suppose he will be conflicted about the image his father left in their mind and the memories he has of his father, especially the last one (AKA sending Adrien against his will to London and imprison him in a white isolated cell, ignoring his plea to let him out and instead send a robot to give him an Alliance). Will Adrien learn more about his father's past?

Something Adrien said every once in a while during the first five seasons is that he didn't know his father, unsure of who he was nor how he could understand him. His father was a mystery to him, even at the end. His father's actions at the end were non-sensical to him.

What if Adrien - who is usually forgiving - has a really hard time forgiving his father and doesn't understand himself why? Can he truly just focus on the good moments he had with his father and ignore the bad? Will Adrien start to speak ill of the dead? Will he confuse and be judged for not thinking like the rest of the Parisians if he ever do so? Will his father's ghost (in a narrative sense of speaking) haunt him because they never got a real understanding / resolution?

As Chat Noir, will he or would he want at one point use Cataclysm on his father's statue, tired of bottling up his emotions?

Like, yes, of course, Maribug is in the wrong to hide the truth to Adrien about his father, but her mistake also allow the possibility to explore several actual-rooted topics through Adrien that wouldn't have been as complex otherwise.

Ladybug "stopped" Monarch because he needed to be stopped. He was terrorizing the city and exploited the Kwamis' power. But now that Adrien has been freed, he can judge for himself who Gabriel the father, the designer, the civil was.

#kisi's rambling into the void #welcome to the agreste mess #ml speculations

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shychick-52 · 1 year

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Gyro's conflicting feelings about Boyd in 'Astro B.O.Y.D.'

Welp, like I said in another post, I planned to repost my posts from my defunct blog analyzing my favorite DuckTales episode 'Astro B.O.Y.D.' in honor of its 3rd anniversary this Tuesday. (I've already posted a two-part analysis on how Akita's treatment affected Gyro and how he rose above it, as well as Fenton's hero-worship of Gyro and why that probably made Gyro uncomfortable). It's such a deep episode with so much going on (writing, animation, emotion, heart, voice-acting, action, symbolism) that's easy to overlook, but I love to share what I see makes it so special in these posts.

**Long post ahead** (Quotes from the episode are in bold).

Throughout most of 'Astro B.O.Y.D.', Gyro never directly interacted with Boyd. He refused to speak to him, and he barely even looked at him. In one scene (it's from the 0:23-0:24 mark in the video), instead of telling him to have a seat so that he could examine his programming and memories, he just stiffly motioned with his head for him to sit down. It's subtle moment, but brilliantly subtle, because it spoke volumes on how Gyro wanted to acknowledge Boyd as little as possible.

This is because he made the 'mistake' of getting attached to him once before, and all these years he thought Boyd malfunctioned, destroyed the city, and cost him his reputation. In fact, before they left for Tokyolk, Gyro warned Huey against his new friend: "I understand 2-BO only too well. Don't... get close to it." He didn't dare talk about his experience, but he was trying to warn Huey the only way he could. Gyro had cared about Boyd like a son, had argued to Akita that he was more than just a robot designed to serve humans. When Boyd went rogue, a big part of Gyro felt betrayed. He 'realized' how naïve and idealistic he'd been, and that not only was it merely a machine after all, but a killer machine at its core. He transferred half the blame he had for himself, for what he thought was his failure, onto Boyd- most likely as a way of coping- and only saw Boyd as a failed experiment from then on. He always saw both of them as failures.

Gyro was not only terrified what Boyd was capable of, but I think he was also afraid of even slightly seeing him as the real boy he once did, let alone feeling any sort of endearment for him again. So, he emotionally distanced himself to protect him from pain and heartbreak all over again, as well as to keep himself from having second thoughts about his real motive of shutting Boyd down for good for everybody's safety (in other words, he was determined to take responsibility for his first and greatest failure in order to finally gain closure).

Gyro almost did suffer a moment of weakness when he came across an old framed photo of him and Boyd in Akita's old lab, in which it was clear they were very close (also, the crack in the middle of frame between Gyro and Boyd is subtly powerful symbolism of their damaged relationship):

The way he murmured “So idealistic”, it was obvious he was wistfully looking back on what was a better time (except for the way Akita treated him, of course). Back when Gyro was younger, bright-eyed, and full of hope (so very much like his intern). Before the whole ‘illusion’ shattered (not only the illusion of Boyd being a real boy and his son instead of a deadly weapon, but that the world was anything but a cold, cruel, and pain-ridden place), forcing him to become the hardened, cynical scientist he was for the last twenty years. Back when he knew what it was like to truly care about someone and be cared about. He missed 2-BO, the 2-BO he thought he knew. He missed the man he used to be, whose death he never thought he’d actually mourn. Maybe he even missed the bliss of such ignorance. And he definitely wished things had been different.

But then, of course he hardens his heart again and snaps himself out of it, tossing the picture away from him:

Later, Boyd pleads with his creator: “Dr. Gearloose, please! I’m a definitely real boy! Why can’t you see that?”

Now, look at Gyro’s expression below as Boyd addresses him. It’s not quite as hardened as it’s been throughout the majority of this episode, but definitely softened with guilt or regret (it’s subtle, but it’s definitely there if you look carefully). He’s actually directly facing Boyd this time, not avoiding his gaze:

After actually letting Boyd speak to him and hearing him out, Gyro realized he couldn't keep his past from Huey and Fenton anymore. It’s the only way they’d finally understand. At first glance, one might think his reaction was from the difficulty of revealing his most painful, shameful secret, and you certainly wouldn’t be wrong! But given the context of my above point, I think there’s even more to it than that. Gyro’s softer side about Boyd- especially after the little guy caught him off-guard by directly facing him with those hurt, confused eyes of a child (making it harder for Gyro to deny that his emotions are real, at least for the moment) and appealed to him so earnestly and innocently- likely broke Gyro’s heart more than he wanted to admit, filling him with regret for his intention to permanently shut him down. Not only that, but he decided he at least owed Boyd the truth before going through with it. He succeeded in not allowing himself to be so sentimental to actually change his mind (and maybe he was even tempted to there), but just enough to allow this last moment of kindness. Think about it- he easily could have ignored Boyd, and explained the ‘truth’ to Huey and Fenton after shutting him down, but he wanted Boyd to understand too!

After sighing, Gyro says- actually handing Boyd his tablet with the footage of what he thought was his core memory, so he could see for himself (which, again, he didn’t have to do)- “Because deep down… you're this."

Gyro explained that before Boyd suddenly turned evil and went on a destructive rampage city during a test of his systems, he was created to be Tokyolk's protector (like Gizmoduck became for Duckburg). Finally, Inspector Tezuka managed to take him down:

Boyd is horrified as he finished watching the footage:

Gyro's voice wracked with years of suppressed pain (and it's among some of the best voice-acting Jim Rash has delivered in the entire show, and there were lots of amazing examples of his in this episode), he told everybody, “2-BO was the first machine I worked on that turned evil, and I have spent my whole life trying to live that down! 2-BO, Boyd- whatever- is evil. Down to its core.”

Once again, Boyd looks right up at Gyro with those eyes full of emotion- now including fear- as he starts to back away from his creator. “But… you said you’d fix me. So I’d never malfunction again!”

And once again, Gyro bravely faced that poor, innocent face as he bluntly replied while advancing on Boyd, “Yes. By shutting you down for good.” And it is so frigging obvious from his tone (it may sound cold on the surface, but you have to really listen carefully) that he’s trying to fight the heartache and guilt he’s feeling. In fact, his tone clearly says ‘This hurts me more than it hurts you.’

Here's almost the whole scene where Gyro interacts with Boyd (almost- I can't find footage on YT for their exchange from the above two screenshots). Not only is the emotion in Jim Rash's voice-acting INCREDIBLE like I said, but the animation in the range of Gyro's body language and expressions is SO SMOOTH. In fact, I highly encourage you to closely look at the footage frame-by-frame- it's such a visual treat!

#reposted from my defunct blog #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #gyro gearloose #boyd gearloose #b.o.y.d.#astro b.o.y.d.#character analysis #headcanon

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the-cult-of-russo · 1 year

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Sorry (part 3)

Pairing: Reader/Billy Russo

Warnings: cursing, angst, sadness, fluff kinda. Canon typical bullshit.

A/N: Here we goooo!!! Last and final part of this one. Two chapters in one day? I’m on a roll lmao

—--------------------

You stifled a yawn as you made your way down the packed streets of New York. It had been two days since Karen’s party and the day before, you’d hidden out in your hotel room. You hadn't wanted to face anyone, especially Billy. You felt so conflicted and upside down. You’d been working so hard in therapy to better yourself, to be less selfish. To get your brain out of protect mode so that you could think about how your actions affected others instead of just doing whatever you needed to in order to keep yourself safe. But knowing Billy hadn’t moved on, that he still cared about you, it pleased you. You hated that it did but you couldn't help it. It meant the feelings you had for him weren’t unrequited. But it made you such a shitty person because you’d hurt him. You didn't deserve his feelings or his time. Didn’t deserve him holding out hope for you. You couldn't get his tearful face out of your mind from when you’d had your argument. Couldn't shake the self-loathing from his voice as he’d blamed himself and told you he didn't deserve to be loved. He was a cocky and confident man to most, but you’d seen the self-hatred he carried, along with the heaps of guilt. Invisible to those who didn't know him well enough, but wrapped around him like chains. And all you’d done is feed into that, to make him think those feelings were confirmed and justified. You had no idea why he even bothered talking to you the night before after what you’d done, let alone kiss you. So now your brain was a jumbled mess as the guilt-ridden part of you fought with the selfish part of you. You just couldn't make any sense of it.

The day before when you'd hidden out, Karen had wanted to see you, to make sure you were okay. As far as she was aware, Billy’s new relationship was real and she’d been worried about how you felt about it. You knew if you agreed to see her, she’d hound you with questions until you cracked. She’d end up squeezing you for information until you spilled it all, including Billy’s secret. So you’d lied to her and told her you were suffering from a wicked hangover but promised to meet her the next day. Well, now it was the next day and you were dreading it. You didn't want to lie to her face about Billy, part of you was dying to tell her and about the kiss so she could give you advice. You’d relied on her for so long now that it felt weird to keep her in the dark. You were on your way to a coffee shop that wasn't too far from the hotel and when you got there, Karen was sitting at a table outside, two coffees on the table. She grinned when she saw you, standing when you got there and engulfing you in a hug.

“Feeling better?” she asked wryly as you both sat down.

“Yeah,” you lied with a smile, feeling shitty about it. You grabbed the coffee and took a large sip, letting the nice warm drink settle over you. It became silent and it was weird, Karen didn’t do silent. And when you glanced across from her over the table, she was watching you with a weird look on her face.

“So… Were you gonna tell me that you and Billy kissed at my party?” she asked, raising a brow as a smile toyed on her lips, betraying her stern tone. You blinked at her with wide eyes, mouth floundering for a minute as you didn't know what to say.

“You really think I wouldn't find out? He told Frank and Frank tells me everything,” she added with a snort. You shook your head, trying not to feel the warmth in your chest at the notion of Billy telling his best friend about the kiss. For all you knew, he wasn’t saying anything good.

“It was just… I’m overwhelmed. It’s a lot,” you admitted with a shrug. Her face softened a little as she nodded.

“He told Frank everything. About the whole… Louisa thing,” she wrinkled her face as she said the woman's name. “It made more sense and I’m glad to know he has some sense. He also said you’d told him about therapy, admitted you have feelings for him. That he kissed you and you turned him away,” she raised a brow with a sympathetic smile on her face and you frowned, toying with your cup.

“What was I supposed to do, Karen?” you sighed.

“Be happy together?” she looked at you pointedly and you rolled your eyes.

“It's not that simple,” you huffed, making her scoff.

“How isn't it simple? You both care about each other,” she muttered, looking a little frustrated.

“Because I hurt him. Or did you forget that? You saw what I did to him, Karen. How are we supposed to be with each other after that?” you asked with a deep frown. She took a deep breath, reaching across the table and grabbing your hand, making you look at her.

“You did hurt him and no I didn't forget that. And I’m not sure what hurt him more, the argument or you leaving… He went by your place a few days after your fight. You weren't there and when he bumped into your neighbor, they’d told him you'd left. No phone call or text. No note. You were just gone, like you were never there to begin with. And so he turned up at mine and Frank’s place. He was hysterical. He was crying and rambling, not making any sense. But after Frank managed to calm him down, he told us you left. It cut him deep. He moped so much after that. More irritable than usual, snapping at everyone. Some days he just wouldn't bother to turn up to work and when Frank would go to check on him, he’d be drunk at home in his sweats,” Karen murmured. Your frown only deepened as a pain started in your chest and seemed to reverberate throughout your entire body.

“Is this supposed to be helping me?” you asked in horror, but she shushed you and squeezed your hand.

“Let me finish. After a bit, he seemed to get better. He came back to work, back to the usual Billy, minus the frivolous love life he used to have before you. We started to think he was doing okay. And then he found out you’d been texting me. He was so pissed that I hadn't told him that he didn't speak to me for a week. But after that, he’d always ask me how you were, what you were up to. I lied to him for you. I never told him about therapy or how you were really doing because it wasn't my place to tell him. When he asked where you were living now, I lied and told him I didn't know. I knew it wouldn't help either of you but I hated lying to him like that,” she said with a shake of her head. You lowered your eyes, not knowing how to take the information. It made you feel even worse to know just how much you’d affected Billy after you'd left. You didn't say goodbye because you thought he wouldn't want you to. But also knowing you’d caused Karen to lie to one of her closest friends made you feel dirty.

“Despite the brave face he was putting on, Frank knew something was off. He’s been through so much with Billy, he recognised the haunted look in his eyes he’d have sometimes. He knew something was still going on with him. And then suddenly Louisa happened. We were all shocked but we hoped that meant he’d moved on. Part of me thought it was a rebound thing, so once we realized what she really wanted from Billy, I thought that was why he was being so blind to it. He was trying to get over you. But now we all know that relationship wasn’t even real and he admitted to Frank yesterday he’d never gotten over you,” she explained, giving you a pitying look.

“I still don't get how this is supposed to make me see why we should be happy together. All I’m hearing is that I fucked up royally and hurt him in the worst way,” you bit out as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat down.

“Because the past is the past. You know why you did what you did, you found that out. You didn't do it to hurt him on purpose. You didn't set out to make him feel that way. You had your own issues and you're dealing with them now. You know you care about him. And despite everything, Billy still cares about you. He doesn't care what happened in the past and you’ve explained yourself to him now so he gets it even more. He’d never hold the past against you because he just wants to be with you,” she implored.

“And what am I supposed to do about the guilt every time I look at him? The crushing weight that settles on my chest when I remember what I did?” you asked desperately. Such a big part of you wanted to listen to Karen’s words. To just throw caution to the wind and be with Billy. But the guilt was holding you back and unfortunately for you, it was winning.

“Billy’s forgiven you for what happened, Y/N. It’s time to forgive yourself,” she said with a firm but caring look. You didn't know what to say. Your head was swimming, nothing but confusion curling around you as you couldn't figure out where to go from here. You wondered if maybe you should swallow your pride and talk to Billy. See if he really had forgiven you, see if there was any hope. But you knew you didn't deserve it.

Seeing you overwhelmed and shutting down, Karen decided to drop it and gave your hand another squeeze before she dropped it.

“You should come back to mine for a bit. Frank’s with Billy at Anvil. We could have some girl time, maybe some ice cream and a movie?” she suggested with a grin. The idea was welcoming to you. A distraction from your messy head.

“I’d love that,” you admitted, relief in your voice to be no longer talking about the mess you called a love life. She beamed at your answer before standing up.

“Okay, I’ll be back out in a minute. If I don’t get Frank a donut for when he comes back from work, he’s gonna cry about it for a week,” she smirked, making you snort. She grabbed your now empty cups as she breezed back inside and you stood up, stretching a little before slowly making your way to the sidewalk so some other people could have your table. You got your phone out of your pocket, quickly checking your emails. You’d gotten one from work saying the website would be down for maintenance. Not that you cared since you were taking the week off here.

“You bitch!” a voice screeched. You glanced up from your phone, wondering just what drama was happening in the middle of the street, but saw Louisa storming right your way with a face like thunder. You glanced around, almost as if you thought she was yelling at someone else. But she obviously wasn't. You half expected her to barrel right into you and start pulling your hair, but she stopped a little ways from you, glaring you down.

“Who do you think you are?!” she seethed, her body held tightly with her hands stuffed in her large fur coat.

“Uh… what?” you asked warily.

“You think I don't know who you are?” she asked, voice shaking with rage.

“We met at Karen's party…” you trailed off. You knew in the back of your head this had something to do with Billy, but it didn't make sense. Did he tell her about the kiss? You weren't sure why he’d do that since he was only seeing her for information.

“He never really mentioned you, not outright. But some nights he’d wake up having nightmares with your name on his tongue. And when I asked, he shut down. He refused to talk about it. I didn't get it. With the way he acted, I thought you were dead or something. And when you turned up at Karen’s party, I just thought you were someone else with the same name. It didn't click. But now I get it, now I know,” she pointed an accusing finger at you and you silently willed Karen to hurry up to help you out of this very uncomfortable situation.

“Get what?” you asked confused.

“Don't play dumb with me! I know what you're doing and I won't let you do it! You don't get to come back here and try to take him away from me! You don’t get to come here and take the money away!” she screeched like a deranged person. The whole thing was drawing a crowd and you felt your cheeks burn.

“Hey, get away from her you crazy bitch!” Karen yelled as she burst through the door. She made a move to rush to where you were on the sidewalk, but then an almighty bang rang out in the air and your ears were ringing. You looked back to Louisa, confused by what had happened, and noticed she was aiming a gun right at you. You blinked slowly and then you felt it. It felt like being set on fire from the inside out and you looked down, noticing blood rapidly pooling on your t-shirt from your stomach. Oh.

“No!” Karen screamed, running towards you as some people on the street started fighting with Louisa to restrain her and take her gun. You fell to the floor heavily before Karen reached you. She hovered over you with wide and wet eyes, looking shocked and panicked. She was yelling something but you couldn't hear anything anymore other than the ringing in your ears. People were rushing about around you and you felt the pain worsen as Karen pressed something to your wound, shouting at you once more. You felt cold, why was it so cold? The edges of your vision blurred as you looked up to the clouds. Everything felt like slow motion, like you were underwater and then it suddenly dawned on you. You were dying. You weren't going to be coming back from this. You'd never get to tell Billy you loved him or to see what would happen between you two. You’d never get that happy ever after. The idea of leaving this world without at least letting Billy know you cared made you feel more sadness than the idea of you dying. He didn't deserve that. He needed to know he could be loved, that he was loved. Maybe then he could actually move on.

“Tell… Billy… Tell him… I love him,” you whispered. Or you hoped you did. You felt disconnected from your body and you couldn't hear anything, including your own voice. But your dancing vision saw how Karen's hand flew to her mouth as she sobbed, nodding frantically as she no doubt said something to try and soothe you. You trusted she’d do as you asked. Your body got colder and weaker by the second and your eyes fluttered shut. All the pain left your body and suddenly you felt serene.

—----------------

Your mind woke before your body did. There was a faint beeping in your ears and the smell of bleach felt like it was choking you. Where were you? You didn't remember having to deal with this bullshit at the hotel. You blinked your eyes open slowly, they felt so heavy. You squinted at the white tile ceiling as you tried to figure out what was going on. You made a move to sit up, gasping at a pain in your stomach as you did. And then Billy was in front of you.

“Easy, gotta be careful,” he murmured, keeping you where you were. You glanced around quickly, noticing you were in a hospital room. You were confused and it felt like your brain was working overtime just to function normally. You felt so out of it. Billy pressed a button that made the bed move and position to sit you up. You took the time to look him over as he wasn't looking at you. He was in sweats and a black t-shirt, his hair a mess. His eyes were bloodshot and had deep purple rings around them. He looked unwell, pale and sickly.

“Wh-” you were cut off as you started coughing, your throat felt dry and raw like sandpaper. Billy jumped up, grabbing a pitcher of water off the bedside table before pouring some in a cup for you. There was a cup on the floor next to the chair beside your bed and you mused the pitcher had been for him. He helped you drink and you did so greedily. You felt like you hadn't had a drink in days and you polished the water off. He put the cup back on the bedside table before he perched on the side of your bed. He was looking at you like he’d seen a ghost, the saddest look on his face.

“What happened?” you rasped, wincing at your throat. He swallowed thickly, rolling his shoulder as his eyes drifted away from you.

“Louisa shot you,” he bit out. The memories hit you then, flashes of them bursting behind your eyes. You remembered her screaming at you, the big bang, the pain. Then nothing.

“Oh… right…” you murmured. You felt drunk or something. Your head was woozy and topsy-turvy.

“How long was I out?” you asked curiously.

“4 days,” he answered and you wondered if he’d been here the whole time with how rough he looked. Billy took a large inhale and you watched through hazy eyes as he opened his mouth to say something. But his mouth clamped shut and then the tears began. You’d seen him cry before. The time you broke his heart like a real asshole. But this was something else. This was gut-wrenching sobs that made your eyes widen and you had no idea why he was so upset or how to fix it.

“Billy…?” you questioned softly, reaching out for his hand. He gripped it in a death grip, angrily wiping his eyes with his other hand. He was inhaling air like he couldn't breathe as he tried to calm himself enough to speak.

“You… You died. Flatlined on the scene and once again on the table,” he agonized with a shake of his head. Your brain was too fuzzy to really get the gravity of it.

“This is… it’s all my fault. I did this to you,” he lamented, taking his hand from you as he pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. You frowned deeply at him, wishing you could sit forward and hug him or something.

“How is this your fault? You didn't shoot me,” you argued. He shook his head with a growl, finally looking at you once more but the look on his face hurt you. He looked like he was in so much pain.

“I wanted to break up with her. I needed to. I was done with her, got what I needed and I didn't want her around. I wanted to talk to you, to see if we could… But we couldn't do anything with her loomin’ over us. So I called it off. But I couldn't tell her the truth, couldn't tell her about her dad or the plan would go to shit,” he started through his tears, a sneer on his face that you thought might be directed at himself.

“I couldn't tell her the truth about that but I had to tell her somethin’ or she wouldn't drop it. So I told her the other truth,” he sniffled, staring at the wall. He seemed to be slowly calming down with his tears but the emotion in his voice never wavered.

“The other truth?” you asked curiously. He hung his head for a moment, taking a few steadying breaths before his dark and intense eyes pinned you in place.

“I told her I love you. Told her it was always you, that she was just a distraction. But now you were back and I couldn't do it anymore. I told her… I told her that it didn't matter what she said or did because the only one I wanted was you,” he breathed softly. His words had your heart racing and you knew not just because you felt it but because the heart monitor sped up slightly.

“And then she fuckin’ shot you because of it,” he lamented, running his hands through his hair and tugging on it frustratedly.

You remembered her words then, the things she’d screamed at you. It made a little more sense, but you hated seeing Billy hating himself like this. He always carried around so much guilt for everything, even things beyond his control.

“That still doesn't make it your fault, Billy. A normal person doesn't go around shooting people, how were you to know what she was going to do? You didn't pull the trigger, she did. That's on her and no one else,” you said firmly. He wiped his eyes quickly again and you knew he wanted to argue your point but he seemed to think better of it. This was what he did. He did the same with Frank. He carried the burden of guilt of the death of Frank’s family no matter how many times Frank would tell him it wasn't on him. He knew better than to talk about his guilt when everyone would tell him it wasn't his fault. So he’d internalize it and suffer silently. You weren't sure what to say now and the atmosphere in the room was heavy. You didn't like it and your head still felt fuzzy. You’d noticed an IV in your arm and you wondered if they’d given you pain meds.

“Besides, now I have a cool scar to talk about,” you murmured, shooting him a rueful smile as he looked at you incredulously. His shoulders seemed to relax ever so slightly at your quip and you hoped he’d stop beating himself up so badly.

“Oh my god, Y/N,” the voice made your head snap to the door as Karen rushed in like a whirlwind. Billy got up off the bed, moving to sit back in his chair as Karen grabbed you in a hug. You squeaked as she squeezed too hard.

“Careful, babe. She’s been shot, remember?” Frank chuckled from behind her.

“Oh right, I’m sorry,” she frowned, moving away from you. Frank loitered at the end of your bed and you noticed he was holding a bouquet of flowers. He noticed your curious glance at them and he smiled.

“These are for you,” he said, looking a little out of place as he set them on the overbed table which was at the end of your bed.

“Thanks,” you smiled softly.

“How are you feeling?” Karen asked, hovering by the side of your bed like a worried mother.

“Like I was shot in the stomach,” you snorted and she gave you a look.

“Welcome to the club. Now we just need to talk Karen into gettin’ shot and we can all match,” Frank smirked wryly.

“Frank!” Karen chided, a horrified look on her face. Billy’s eyes narrowed to slits at his best friend.

“What?” Frank asked, looking confused as he shrugged. But you snorted, biting your lip as Karen and Billy’s disapproving looks turned to you.

“I don’t think she’s ready for the cool kids club just yet,” you murmured cheekily.

“You two are insufferable,” Karen huffed.

“Hey, if the girl with the gunshot wound to the stomach found it funny, I say I didn't do anything wrong,” Frank smirked. Karen rolled her eyes before turning back to you.

“I’m glad you're awake. We were all really worried for a minute,” she murmured, a haunted look passing on her face. You couldn't imagine how she felt watching you get shot like that.

“Anyway, we’ll leave you two to it,” she added, giving you a smile and a squeeze to your arm.

“We only just got here,” Frank frowned, sounding confused. Karen shot him a pointed look and you didn't miss how her eyes darted to Billy who was sitting in the chair silently.

“Right… we got that… thing we gotta do. Was good seein’ you, Y/N,” Frank smiled with a nod.

“Thanks, guys,” you smiled back, watching as they left again.

The room fell silent once more and you glanced over to Billy. He looked so worn out, like he might just collapse into a heap on the floor at any moment. But then he stood and scooted the chair closer to your bed before sitting back on it with his arms resting on his legs, hands clasped together. He was staring at the floor and you just watched him, unsure what to say.

“Karen said… She said when you got shot… you asked her to tell me you loved me,” he murmured as he brought his eyes to you. You nibbled your lower lip as you remembered. Literally your dying words. You hadn't really thought you’d be sticking around long enough to know what he thought about it.

“Did you mean it?” he asked warily. When you looked back at him, he looked so vulnerable. Not that you could blame him after how you’d hurt him in the past. You had the power to destroy him and it was terrifying. And he knew it too.

“Yeah, I did,” you admitted quietly. He reached for your hand then, taking it in both of his.

“This… What happened to you… I almost lost you. I did, twice, for a few moments. And I can’t… I can’t lose you. It made me realize how stupid all this is. We love each other and we’re just dancin’ around in circles, making excuses about shit. I’m tired of it. I want you, I want us,” he said earnestly, his eyes gazing at you. His words made a shy smile grace your face as you looked to your joined hands.

“I know it's scary. I know ‘cause I went through it when I realized I had feelings for you. I freaked out. I got scared ‘cause I knew if I opened up to you I could get hurt,” he murmured.

“You did get hurt,” you pointed out, voice tense as you felt the bitter reminder.

“I got hurt ‘cause you weren't ready. And you can blame yourself for that all you want, but you know now why you reacted that way. It wasn’t your fault. You weren't ready and I scared you off. But you're back now. You're back and you love me, so… Can we do this shit? Can you let me in?” he implored. You could read it all over his face how desperate he was and you knew you kind of dying probably only intensified those feelings. But they’d intensified yours too.

“When I lay bleeding out on the sidewalk, all I could think about was you. How I hadn't told you how I felt. How I’d never get to know how things with us went. And you're right, I am scared, but almost dying really kinda puts things in perspective for you. Because I’m sick of running from something I want. I love you and I know that now. And if you… if you really want this, then I’ll try my best,” you admitted shakily. The idea was terrifying. You’d never had a relationship before and you were having to completely ignore the part of your brain that was screaming at you that you'd get hurt. But you knew as you saw how Billy’s face lit up at your words brighter than the sun that you had no reason to be scared. Not when it was Billy. If you could trust anyone with your heart, it was the man sitting in front of you and you knew he’d keep it safe. It was time for the both of you to let go of your guilt. To let go of your baggage from the past that was weighing you down. It was time the both of you finally got the happily ever after that you deserved.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfic #billy russo imagine

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whackacole3 · 4 months

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Hanzo and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder

I was joking with a friend about making the Overwatch characters have personality disorders, I realized that Hanzo very closely resembles someone with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (also called anankastic personality disorder).

Now I will say, I myself have some personality disorders so I have the need to project onto him. This might lead me to project certain traits onto Hanzo as I analyze his character, so keep that in mind please.

On another note, if you disagree please just scroll past and don’t argue. I’m not saying this is canon or even implied, it’s just a headcanon and a silly little analysis that I wanted to do because I was bored.

Note: OCPD and OCD are not the same thing despite the similar names. Please do your own research if you want to learn more about the differences as I want to focus this on character analysis.

Let’s get into it!

Many may be shocked to know that OCPD is the most common personality disorder (not BPD like many may think). [source] So it is very likely that Hanzo could be one of these.

To receive a diagnosis of OCPD, an individual must reach four out of the eight specific criteria. Not the full set, only partially. It is important to notice that everyone’s experience with OCPF will be different because of the many combinations that exist within the criteria.

I will be using the direct diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5. Though Hanzo is Japanese and would use the ICD-11c I’m just not as familiar with that.

Is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost.

To maintain a sense of control, people with OCPD focus on rules, minute details, procedures, schedules, and lists. As a result, the main point of a project or activity is lost, as the criteria says. People with OCPD repeatedly check for mistakes and pay extraordinary attention to detail. They do not make good use of their time, often leaving the most important tasks until the end. Their preoccupation with the details and making sure everything is perfect can endlessly delay completion. They are unaware of how their behavior affects their coworkers. When focused on one task, these patients may neglect all other aspects of their life. [source]

Now while I personally believe Hanzo does this, from my understanding there’s no exact canon proof of him being preoccupied with these things. It could be assumed he does with all the later criteria he has that he is probably this way, but we don’t know for sure. No points. 0/8

Shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion

Nothing else matters except for being perfect. Things may never be completed because the need for it to be the best it possibly can be. Only the highest of standards for themselves. They have nothing in the tank to take care of yourself or attend to your hobbies or interests. [source]

Now while this can be explained from Hanzo being the eldest son and the pressure put on him by his father, that doesn’t negate the fact he does this. We know from dialogue with other characters he holds himself to a very high standard. So, that’s a point for him. 1/8

Is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships

People with OCPD may have difficulty in forming and maintaining relationships due to their perfectionist tendencies and devotion to work. They may have unrealistic expectations of themselves and others, which can lead to conflict and disappointment. [source]

This is pretty much the same as the last one. He isn’t tied to any organization and really has no friends or close ties to anyone. While there might be other explanations for this, I think it’s plausible he might not want to set himself up for disappointment. I’ll give a half point here. 1.5/8

Is overconscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values

People with OCPD think actions and beliefs are either completely right or completely wrong. They often feel they are always right. It’s as if nothing will change their minds. [source]

Hanzo believes he is unforgivable and unworthy of anything. While this might be a more morbid belief that what is typically for OCPD, it still constitutes as one and would apply here. So sadly, he gets a point. 2.5/8

Is unable to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value.

Hoarding is a very common symptom in OCPD because of the fear of losing something.

While I headcanon this: we have no canon proof of it. No point. 2.5/8

Is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things.

People with OCPD want to do things on their own without any help for fear of someone messing up their work. They typically deeply consumed in dysfunctional beliefs and genuinely see their way of functioning as the only "correct" way, where the world needs to conform to their own strict standards. [source]

This is very much Hanzo. He works by himself, a lone wolf, never with anyone else. While we don’t know if it’s exactly for the reason stated above, i would say it’s a plausible situation enough to give him a full point. 3.5/8

Adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes.

This one is pretty self explanatory .

Hanzo doesn’t have this, he gave away all his fortune. So, no point. 3.5/8

Shows rigidity and stubbornness.

People with OCPD are often described as “stuck in their ways” and “unwilling to change”. Such rigidity often manifests in a sense of hypermorality.

Hanzo is most definitely stubborn in every way possible. He doesn’t want to do anything except for his way. While he doesn’t have hypermorality, he is definitely ridged in his ways. Point. 4.5/8

And there we have it. Four and a half longs. If he was real, Hanzo could very much qualify for an OCPD diagnosis. There’s a lot of possible “stretching” and projecting; but in my eyes he had OCPD.

Now, again, this whole analysis is all for fun, shits and giggles if you will, so if you disagree that’s completely okay! Just don’t be mean about it, it’s just a headcanon/personal belief.

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #hanzo #hanzo overwatch #hanzo shimada #ocpd #obsessive compulsive #obsessive compulsive personality disorder #obsessive compulsive pd #character analysis #analysis

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venting-corner · 7 months

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Miraculous sibling AU part 1

What do you think Adrien needs? Good character development? Correct. Being the mc of his own story? Indeed. Screentime? True. An honest person in his life? Also true. He needs all of those things, but most of all, for these to happen he needs a good role model. After all, every adult in Adrien's life failed him (not sure about Emilie yet). Therefore, introducing older sister au!

(basically, this is me giving Adrien a role model that loves him with no strings attached)

Name: Lovett Agreste

Age: 19

Looks like a carbon copy of "the father of the year"

With her always being there for Adrien, whiplash of Gabriel changing from bad to worse would affect him more and not at the same time

However, as Lovett is 19 she is away in college (rebellion!) and can't support Adrien like she used to. Because of her 'little' rebellion Gabriel keeps an eye on Adrien more, but this also inspires Adrien to fight back and go to school behind his father's back.

Mr. "Fashion designer" tries to limit Adrien's interaction with Lovett, deeming her as a lost cause and a disappointment, but Lovett's collage knowledge comes in handy to help Adrien from a distance, giving him advice on love(she doesn't know anything about love), girls, interaction(from her own limited experiences, she's also learning), and even heroing, without knowing. She promises to get him away from mr.desperation, unfortunately despite her efforts Adrien still excuses his father's action, but not as severe as in canon. She's there as a good ranting partner, letting Adrien express his emotions in his civilian form and she listens.

That doesn't mean they don't have fights, especially regarding Mr.Insecurity. While they both have tempers, Lovett doesn't have a good handle on it and raises her voice to defend her argument without knowing. Screaming in general is a great way to let out her frustration, but it affects Adrien as it reminds him of their father, showing how similar they are. Adrien immediately falls into his obedient behavior he has around Mr. Superiority complex, but there's a different feeling that he doesn't have around Mr. Loneliness. Years of trusting his sister and feeling free to be himself with her makes him feel comfortable enough to argue, push back and scream. Something he would never dare to do to anyone else, maybe villains. So there are two sides that are fighting to be the main one. (I don't know how to continue)

She constantly sends memes to him and challenges him to a pun war.

When Chat Noir started his hero career, she became his fan and always gets into an argument with Adrien about how he is the best, funny, important. She even sends him pictures of his merch that she specifically ordered from France. Adrien doesn't know if he should be happy or die from embarrassment, so he decides to do both.

They sometimes suddenly play out anime or movie scenes, throwing quotes left and right. It also helps to be close to their mother, as she was an actress.

Because Mr. Hypocrite is Mr. Perfection, she also learned how to play piano and she has conflicting feelings about that as she loves piano. She bought a compact keyboard, so they could play duets over face time. When Adrien practices whatever piece he needs to perfect, she abruptly interrupts with other music. Like anime intros

For the last part she comes back before the collector, if Marinette is going to have a master that knows who she is, then Adrien is going to have a role model that knows about Chat Noir. A good parallel, don't you think?

#miraculous ladybug #mlb #adrien agreste #alternate universe #mlb au #older sister au #I am salty #my boy deserves a person that knows what he goes through and doesn't exploit it #and takes into consideration what he wants or feels #ml au

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yellowhollyhock · 5 months

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I like think not only was raph affected the most by Donnie’s disappearance splinter and Casey dying was the last straw for him. He becomes bitter and jaded he tries to drink and smoke to numb the pain but it’s not enough. He wants the pain to stop so he goes on one last hurrah to get his revenge that’s where he loses his eye. he feels dying taking out the shredder is more honorable then sitting around wasting away he’s lost everything was how he rationalized going in there guns blazing. I like to think when he saw our Donnie that was the first time he smiled in years. Sorry this got a bit dark. I like dissecting Raph’s psychology.

^^ Love this take! I can definitely see that being how he loses his eye, poor Raphie 💔

Also! This adds even more to his and Leo’s conflict. Because after losing three family members, Leo would lose confidence in himself as a leader, and because of that he’d err ever more on the side of caution. When teenage Donnie comes back and tries talking them into going for one last hurrah, they reply, Don’t you think we tried that? That’s how we lost Casey. I think it might even be Leo who says that? Anyway he’d condemn recklessness all the more thinking that if he as the leader had just waited for a better opportunity, maybe Casey and Splinter would still be alive. And that would be deeply hurtful and frustrating for Raph who sees it in the opposite way, like if they’d acted more decisively earlier maybe they’d even still have Don.

It makes sense too that he’d try different things to just make the feelings stop. The physical pain, too, I imagine his fight took more than his eye even though that’s the most visible (ha) injury.

Also also. I headcanon that Raph was quietly still trying to protect Leo and Mikey, just really didn’t want to talk to them (especially Leo). In the early days of their estrangement, he and Leo would both be watching the fight where Mikey loses his arm. Leo’s first reaction would be to contact April to get medical supplies and backup there asap. Raph’s would be to throw himself in front of Mikey. And even though he’s touched, Michelangelo would be furious with both of them for spying on him, especially after it becomes apparent they’re still not going to make up with each other.

And Leo’s head scars? I think Raph was there for that too. I have a foggy half-conceived notion of Leo in the fight of his life, this one some years after Splinter’s death. Probably fell for an ambush when Karai reached out to him presumably for a peace talk. Having separated himself from his family, he feels it’s not that big of a risk to give her a chance because no one could pay the price but him (SAINW Leo never learns to value his own life the way our 03 boy does). Raph would come across the fight accidentally, maybe saw suspicious foot activity in that neighborhood and wanted to be near the action, both for vengeance and for something to numb the pain. And then there’s Leo, getting his head sliced up. Taking a few guys down with him, but clearly in the middle of what looks to Raph like a suicide mission (he resents Master Splinter for what he saw as a suicide rescue and he hates that Leo and Splinter seemed to enable each other in that regard). He swoops in and evens the odds but he’s careful to do it without getting caught by Leo. Which is not easy because even after all these years, his brother knows him. At the end of the fight he’d take unconscious Leo back to April, and he wouldn’t stay a second longer than he needed to and would beg April and Mikey not to tell. He’s afraid of Leo knows he rescued him he’ll forgive him for all the wrong reasons. By this point they’re both used to being apart, so it’s kind of awkward for both of them that they still secretly look out for each other.

And I do think it’d go both ways—I also have a half-conceived idea that with Donnie not being there by the time of Bishop’s Outbreak, it’s Raph who gets mutated. Leatherhead would be the one to help him most, but Leo would be watching from the shadows, making sure the Foot didn’t find out about his brother’s condition and that Leatherhead has the space and resources he needs (ie if he states aloud that he needs a certain chemical or piece of machinery it appears on his desk within the week). Maybe he even still makes a deal with Bishop, of course it wouldn’t be the same deal, but maybe he does help with something he’s ashamed of, and if Raph finds out maybe they have a big fight over that too. And just think about how all this would affect Mikey.

That got really long—can you tell I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the SAINW turtles? Thanks for sharing your Raph headcanons, they hurt terribly ❤️

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #2003 raph #2003 leo #tmnt sainw

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ionlyseeu · 1 year

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Submerged (Namor x F reader)

Chapter 4

For the previous chapter (3) please click here.

Warning: a lot of fluff and sad times. I think it’s important to highlight redemption. Introspection is present.

Namor had redone the bandage on her arm back in the cave and pressed the herbs to her wounds. He checked on her hand and saw the healing process was well on the way. He was painfully aware that when she woke up, she’d probably be seething at him for the display at the waterfalls which she would surely see as an embarrassment. But for him, it was one of the best experiences of his life. It was hard to pick between the beach where she’d rubbed up on him, the bed where he redid her bandages falling prey to her teasing and the morning of the fruit incident where she had undone his sanity. But at the waterfalls, the way she begged for him reminded Namor of a higher reward, of her wanting him, wanting his so badly she pleaded, shamelessly begging him . Namor calmed himself, because he realised every single occasion that had been the best for him, had made her despise him when she came to her senses later. He didn’t want there to be any more fighting between them, she was supposed to be the mother of his children, the future ruler of his kingdom and his immortal paramour. She was not supposed to see him as the villain in this story.

He was dressing her in another pink dress he had picked for her, a new one he thought she would look pretty in and something she would actually like as it was shorter- coming to her mid thigh in a paler pink which almost looked like a washed out white. It reminded him of the dress she wore on the beach.

Namor was conflicted. Attuma had surprised him earlier, what he said had floored him really. It was before Namor was searching the caves to find her. Attuma confessed to his leader that he has returned Mia, his chosen, back their house on the surface. Namor had grit out a why? Shocked and almost annoyed after the whole ordeal.

Attuma had then acted very much the opposite what Namor knew him to be. He expressed his grief at not being able to be with Mia because he felt ashamed of his actions. He wanted to respect her choice and let her decide on her own terms whether she even wanted to know him. He had taken her back when she had fallen asleep, sirening her off into a deep bliss to only awaken when she would feel completely calm.

Attuma then spoke very slowly considering Namor adding with clarity,

‘I promised her in her sleep, but it is a promise I wish to stand by…’

‘What is it Attuma?’

‘I promised her friend - your love would be returned’

Namor sighed deeply. His troubles never seemed to end. At first, Namor was seething at how Attuma could suggest such a thing. It was one atrocity to leave their chosen one but to suggest someone else do it too was insane. But Attuma offered that if Namor wanted a future with her, he’d have to fix his mistake.

Namor later pondered over this and considered the actions of his subordinate. See, it was very much different than what Attuma would normally be. Attuma had displayed a change in character from his normal energetic self, he seemed deeply affected by the girl Mia.

Looking at his own love sleeping, Namor finally accepted what he had to do. What was right to do. He had to let her make her own choice, try and put everything back in the right place so she wouldn’t feel like she was with him because she had to be. He wanted her to choose him.

He paused taking in her calm form as if it was the last time. As far as he knew it may as well have been.

Namor lifted her as gently as he could without waking her, he sirened her to a deeper sleep and carefully put her in an underwater suit that awaited her.

His heart panged against his chest when he carried her through the water, his ribs seemed constricted as they broke the surface together, he clung to her tighter, wrapping her in his arms.

When flying through the air, travelling to her house, his eyes trailed back to her. He felt something breaking inside him.

His heart was anything but calm as it threatened to pull her back into the water but Attuma had come with him to make sure the right thing was done. Namor wanted him there to ensure the task of returning her was successfully completed. He quelled the feeling of wanting to take her away to be safe with him in the deep waters.

He stopped by the balcony he had crashed into before, the screen had been fixed since then and he was grateful there’d be less traces of the violent acts he committed before.

Opening the door he took her out of the suit and carried her to bed. His love for her wrapped around in a blissful warm sleep which nursed her to rest peacefully. He pulled the covers over her sighing deeply.

He wondered if he had been born a human - wouldn’t she like him then?

He hated doubting himself.

He pulled out the conch he had put in a harness he carried and held it in his hands and placed it next to her bed. He whispered lowly ‘I’m sorry, forgive me’ and kissed her forehead smoothing the hair on her head, ‘blow into this and place it in the water if you want to see me, I’ll be there in a heartbeat’ he promised, she hummed in her deep sleep but he knew she would remember in the morning.

Before he left he pulled out another item from his harness, his mother’s bracelet. He had wanted to give it to her before but had never found the right time. Now, she looked so at peace that he wrapped it around her injured hand and kissed it. Staring at her deeply he allowed himself to say a simple I love you in his native tongue.

He pulled her covers up even higher paranoid she’d be getting cold ‘I love you’ he repeated in english unconsciously under his breath.

His wings fluttered, he moved slowly backwards memorising as much of her as he was allowed to, willing the image of her in her tranquil state to etch into his mind. He closed the door after waiting by the glass a moment or so willing her to wake up and call him back. Receiving no such redemption he turned to the side and looked to the other side of the house where Attuma had scaled down the outer wall after checking on Mia.

‘Attuma’ he said slowly watching his warrior as he turned to face him in the sky, ‘Make sure I don’t turn back’ he sounded quietly then faced away from her sleeping form. He flew back in the water swiftly as if he were nothing but the breeze waving towards the water.

Switch to first person narrative 🎄

I woke up with a startled gasp in the morning as the light from the balcony glass shone through my room.

My room, my room.

I was back home.

My heart was beating fast, he took me back?

Something glinted in the sunlight and I realised it was a green jade bracelet on my hand. Namor had given this to me I realised. Then immediately I remembered the conch he spoke of as if the memory of it was imprinted on my mind and meant to echo throughout my being as I woke from my deep sleep.

‘if you want to see me, I’ll be there in a heartbeat’

I swallowed hard and drew back the hand that threatened to reach for the conch instead choosing to reach and pull off the covers which were secured around my body, jumped out of bed and started headed towards where I knew Samir slept.

Mia’s name repeating in my head, I reached the door only to have it be pulled open from the other side.

What I saw first was Mia’s red eyes, bloodshot. Her glum expression and her arms reaching towards me in a hug.

I immediately embraced her.

‘Mia, Mia, they took us back’ I caressed her hair as she sobbed, ‘We are home’.

Samir had gone I found out, unable to stand that Mia had been lost for this long. I bombarded his phone letting him know of her return but when asked where we had been, I stilled. I hadn’t prepared for this question. Namor was not perfect by any means but I had this weird instinct not to tell them of his existence. Jaime already knew however, he had been at the house the entire time, his arm which had been hurt was now worse off than mine without the Talokan herb which they had used to bind mine.

Jaime seemed different as well, distracted at first and distant but when he looked at me, it was with the longing he always had. My heart had sunk in my chest. Other than a tight hug upon our reunion in the kitchen, I hadn’t really tried to touch him. He had cried at my return but nothing stirred in my chest seeing his pain.

We were all three, now sitting in the dining room.

A silence hung in the air. Mia seemed the most distant. Jaime moved silently in the kitchen making something haphazardly with ingredients he had to run out to buy, taking me with him as he told me how he felt scared I’d ‘ go away again’.

I felt awkward myself after hearing that.

Jaime set the plates down silently, for me then Mia and finally himself.

The silence grew even thicker. He cleared his throat, ‘Dig in guys’

I picked up my fork and pushed around the burnt chicken.

‘Thank you Jamie’ he looked at me then.

‘You’re welcome’.

‘Yeah, thank you Jaime it’s really nice’ Mia hadn’t even tasted the food.

Jamie sighed and stared between us.

‘Is he coming back again?’ He said sounding exhausted.

I nearly groaned in my seat as he voiced the question I’d been asking myself all day.

‘I don’t know Jamie’

He looked at me intensely.

‘Do you want him to come back again?’ It sounded like a challenge off his tongue.

‘What does that even mean?’ I retorted.

‘Well I hate to bring this up but neither of you seem happy to be back.’

I looked at Mia who glanced up at me then quickly looked down at her food, then without looking up she said ‘Jamie, I’ve had a really shitty 24 hours, I’ve had a really exhausting week. Please just don’t.’

I looked at Mia worriedly, my own appearance mirrored her tired one.

‘I just don’t understand either of you. I want to know where they took you! What they did! And Samir? Samir is gone, he’s left for the states because he couldn’t bear to be in the house after what happened and now you return and you don’t even message him Mia? Call him? It’s only because of me and her that he even knows you’re back’

Mia didn’t respond.

‘Jaime relax’ I said.

He picked up his dish and pushed it to the sink exiting the kitchen. We heard the door slamming as he left the house in frustration.

Mia fell forward in her seat hands over her face, ‘I don’t know what to do…’

‘You don’t want Samir anymore do you?’ I asked.

‘No’ she cried.

‘Tell me what happened with this Attuma.’

‘I told him that I didn’t want him’

I raised my eyebrows, ‘Did you want him?’

She cried harder.

‘You know I fucking wanted him- Yes’

‘So what’s the problem?’

‘I had Samir’

‘Well to the world you were basically dead and Samir left’ I said as I moved towards her and rubbed her back.

‘I don’t care about that’ she rubbed her eyes, ‘Attuma… he’s so different than I expected. He’s such a brute, at least that’s what I thought- but he just gets me. You know I like finding random historic things? He went out and he found them for me in the sea! He even got me books about them. No one has ever done that for me. I never even asked him to. He was the one who said I should go back, I mean I said it at first but it was him who …..’ she paused and looked me in the eye.

‘You wanted to stay didn’t you?’

She nodded silently.

‘What did you say to him?’

Mia started, ‘I told him I always wanted to see a giant octopus and he was taking me out in one of those underwater suits’. I tried not to be jealous she nearly got the chance to see one, ‘then he said something like I wished I had more time with you, and I just knew it, I knew he was taking me back here. I didn’t know what to say at first because I knew it wasn’t right what he’d done but I think I’m sort of in love with him or something because my heart- hurts. It really hurts. I can’t believe he would put me back in my room. I even tried to stop him before he could put the helmet on and drag me in the water but he sirened me off to sleep and the next thing I know - I’m in the bed upstairs.’

I clutched my head then, it was a lot to take in.

‘You wanted to stay there?!’

She looked embarrassed, ‘He’s nothing like I thought he was’

‘You think you love him?’

‘Yeah’ she sighed.

‘Yeah? Yeah?’ I mocked.

I couldn’t believe her.

‘Look you can make as much fun of me as you like but at least I’m not pretending I’m not in love like you are right now.’

My breath was cut short at this.

Mia continued looking at my expression, ‘You’re not being fair to yourself, you don’t have to put up a distance all the time, you can be feminine- you can need someone, need them beyond just-just fucking them! You can allow yourself to be…happy you know’

I needed maybe a few months to stomach this but Mia gave me no time as she punched in the facts, ‘I know you might have liked Jamie once but the whole situationship? That’s lasted 2 years so far? Who has that benefitted exactly? Everyone knows he’s in love with you! He thinks he’s going to marry you and you- you don’t even like him’ she grabbed my shoulders shaking as I sat there dumbfounded at being such an open book.

I took in a deep breath and finally allowed myself to confess what I’d been feeling a long while before I’d even met Namor. Tears welled in my eyes.

‘I don’t know what to do Mia’ I admitted.

Mia immediately tried to put on a brave face, returning to the happy and helpful girl she always was and stroked my hair comforting me effortlessly.

‘Rip off the bandaid, we both have to with Jamie and Samir.’ She concluded.

I took a deep breath.

‘Okay’.

Later as we cleaned the kitchen, I told Mia everything that had happened. I told her how I felt at every stage, how I was sure I’d hated him, how I wanted nothing to do with him but I felt different when I was with him. He understood me, he made me feel so protected. How I wanted to know only about him. I was curious about him. After we cleaned the kitchen, Mia turned to me and said, ‘You know I think you say you hate that god of yours so much so you don’t have to accept you might actually like him- might actually have fallen for him even’ she laughed as she said this and I pushed her away jokingly.

‘Yeah yeah enough therapy for one day’.

A few hours later, when I was in bed I heard the door next to my room open and close and realised Jaime had returned. I sighed and decided it was time to make my move.

I went to Jamie’s room, stared at his door for a second or so, knocked and went in.

‘You’re gonna say we can’t see eachother anymore aren’t you?’ He deadpanned immediately. I sighed but relaxed into the situation, at least the intent was clear.

‘Jamie I have liked your company for a long time but we both knew this wasn’t going to last.’

He chuckled dryly at this.

‘I think you and I…. We had different ideas’ he sounded looking down.

I pursed my lips and considered him. Beyond everything else, Jaime was a good friend and he deserved better.

‘Jaime, I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t know what I wanted and I dragged you with me and that wasn’t fair’ I pat his arm and crouched in front of him meeting his eyes, ‘I know you’ll find the right person, but it’s not me, I’m sorry’

He smiled, the tears in his eyes were a lot clearer when I looked at him closer.

‘I understand’ he said slowly and after much consideration.

I pulled him into a hug whispering to him, ‘ I wish you the best of success in your future relationships.’

‘Thanks’ he let out a genuine laugh this time between tears, ‘I hope you find your happiness too, just promise me one thing’

I pulled back and looked him in the eye, ‘Anything’

‘Just promise he won’t come through the window again whilst I’m with a girl and try to kill me’ we both laugh as I swear to him it won’t happen again.

When I’m back in bed I fiddle with the jade bracelet around my hand. I think of Namor and only him and I can’t help but admit to myself that I liked him, a lot, I liked him more than the physical attraction. I liked how he was toward his people, I like his lifestyle and how he had looked after me, I liked his seriousness, the way he was clear what he wanted, I was dying to see him again. Even through his fierce violence in ridding the pain which Jaime was to him and hurting me in the process, I understood what prompted him to do what he had.

But my mind , as it often did, turned, Namor was so powerful, he was a man who had hurt me despite it being an accident, I was a liability and a potential casualty by his side and what was to stop him from hurting me again in another possessive rut? What if another man dare lay a hand on me, I had a feeling he would not be so kind to them. He had no love for the surface world. His grief and isolation had turned him into something of a monster. Whilst I sympathised with him, I also became wary of him.

But as I rolled around and tossed in my bed, my heart still couldn’t settle on an answer. I was torn between despising him for how he treated me. Kidnapping and putting a spear through my shoulder weren’t exactly the gateway to romance I’d really expected for myself. But the way he made me feel, the tingles across my skin, the restful sleep wrapped in his arms and how he had saved me not once but twice from drowning weighed heavily on my mind. He also returned me to my world on the surface, something I had begged but never expected him to succumb to. Should this be his redemption?

I fell asleep sometime at around 3am. There were no flutters of wings near my glass window. I even left it open.

But I did not touch the conch which I knew would call him to me immediately.

Third person narrative for my festive girls 🤡❤️🥰🤟

The next morning she woke up groggily at 6AM, the sun was only coming up and 3 hours of sleep had her looking like a zombie in the desert sun. She glugged down water at the kitchen counter when Mia trodded downstairs.

‘Can’t sleep?’ Mia chimed inquisitively.

She was upto something. It was in her smile and the way she walked and it was also definitely in the way a backpack was slung over her shoulder.

‘Don’t tell me you’re doing what I think you’re doing.’

‘What?’ Mia asked innocently, ‘I’m just going down to the beach’

Mia watched as her friend rolling her eyes and scoffing turning to take a bagel out from the toaster and spread cream cheese on it, ‘Yeah gimme some of that’

‘No’ was the only reply Mia received and she tried to snatch a bagel bite.

‘Why not!! I’m really hungry right now’ Mia pressed.

‘Why don’t you go and get some persimmon from your little Attuma?’

It was Mia’s turn to roll her eyes, ‘little? He’s huge especially his dic-‘

‘WHAT?!’

‘What do you mean what? I mean- it was an accident I guess’ Mia bemoaned.

‘You accidentally saw his entire dick?’

‘Well when you say it like that it sounds stupid! It was- you know- just an accident and no I didn’t sleep with him, I didn’t kiss him or touch him inappropriately- because I was with Samir duhhh’

‘Are you still with Samir?’

‘No I called him up and it told him not to come back’

‘Just like that?’ Her eyebrows were all the way up to her hairline.

‘Yeah I told him the truth, well not the truth about where we were but that- well I said ‘I didn’t think we had a chemistry’ and I’m sorry for wasting his time’

‘Did he cry?’

‘Not as much as I thought he would’ Mia seemed to mull over this. But she didn’t for long because she seemed to be busily packing her bag with a bunch of snacks and energy drinks.

‘Now what the fuck are you doing Mia? Feeding a schoolyard of kids?’

Mia huffed as she secured the bag and lifted it over both her shoulders patting the straps happily.

‘I’m gonna go get Attuma and have him try these’

‘How exactly are you planning to get him? And don’t you think that a guy who’s really not from this world wouldn’t like those snacks anyway? They all hate the surface world’

Mia didn’t seem bothered by her friend’s negatively and instead hummed a happy tune as she grabbed some mosquito spray from the kitchen surface and coated her arms and legs.

‘That’s the thing! I really think he’ll like them and he said he doesn’t hate the surface world because I’m in it-‘ Mia shot her a glare as if to say don’t say anything, if I think it’s cute then so will you then continued, ‘He said something about a forest cave access, I’m just gonna go snoop around there’

Mia suddenly reached forward and snatched a bite off her bagel when she was mulling over this information absentmindedly.

‘HEY!’

A sorry was muttered out from a mouth full of bagel and cream cheese.

Mia was at the door in a flash, ‘don’t worry, I’ll be back and even if I don’t see him-‘ , she held up a collectors analogue of ancient artefacts found in the area, ‘I’ll still have my collection I need to attend to’

Then with a flip of her ponytail she left.

Switch to first person 😀😀

I couldn’t help myself. After I had helped Jamie pack and dropped him at the airport, I went to the beach. It was evening then, Mia was still at the caves. All I could do was stare at the water. It got pretty dark on the island around 6pm and all the tourists had either left or were located at the nearby more popular beach side further north. There were only a few stragglers left on the beach but I still moved to an isolated corner by the rocks. I took my flashlight out to see better and a bunch of jagged multicoloured stones eroded by the waves shone back at me.

This was where it first happened at 18. I wished he was here, I didn’t have snacks with me like Mia bought Attuma, I didn’t think that was what we could be, lighthearted, finding common ground. I realised this was my fault, I’d never taken the time to listen to him, let alone have a full conversation without it turning into a fight or us touching each-other. I was always on the defensive, but he definitely didn’t make it any easier with the kidnapping. I sighed.

I picked up a orange almost translucent stone and held it up to my flashlight examining it. Then deciding it was good enough for my collection, I threw it at the water in a feeble attempt to skip it. It was swallowed immediately by crashing waves, you could only skip stones in calm waters. I sighed and wrapped myself in my cardigan tighter as I crouched behind a rock contemplating. Should I call out his name? Would he come to me? Did I even want him to come? Should I go get the conch?

I was groaning in frustration when I heard someone jumping from the large rocks and landing in the sand before me. I yelped and looked up startled and embarrassingly almost excited.

Namor..?

It wasn’t him. It was instead a man, with dark eyes and dark hair which grew to his chin, his skin tone was tanned, he was tall with wide shoulders. But it wasn’t Namor.

My eyes nearly rolled in annoyance, some rando tourist was here jumping in front of me and scaring the bejeeezus out of my soul.

‘Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you! Are you alright?’ He asked.

I didn’t make a move to stand up but instead threw my arms in the air, ‘Yeah I’m alright but who jumps in front of someone like that?’

He rubbed the back of his head, ‘I’m so sorry you just looked like you were in a bad state’ he explained.

I offered no explanation, I didn’t know this guy and I was really, really not in the mood to entertain.

‘Um… I know this is going to come off as very forward but … you’re very beautiful’ he explained slowly. I groaned inwardly then glanced up at him with annoyance clearly on my face.

Did he know I was some nut case who was about to jump into the water?

‘Yeah fuck off’ I let out dryly.

He ignored this and instead chose to laugh over me, then peering in closer asked

‘What’s your name?’

I just stared at him pissed. I was trying to wallow in self pity and this weirdo wanted to flirt? No way was I going to answer.

‘Okayyyyy… not much of a talker then? Well my name’s-‘

I interjected before he could continue, ‘Look, thanks but I’m really not interested’

‘Oh so are you with someone or..?’ Damn why did this guy have to ask so many questions I thought.

‘No, but you’re really not my type’ I deadpanned irritated beyond belief.

‘Ouch’ he exclaimed grasping his chest in mock pain at my insult, ‘Okay, okay so what’s your type then?’

Dark skin, darker hair and eyes that look like the depths of the ocean.

Namor. Namor. Namor. Namor. Namor. Namor.

My mind screamed relentlessly.

‘Trust me, you don’t wanna know’

‘Oh come on, I swear I’m a nice guy- and I’ll prove it to you’ he got closer to me now about to sit next to me in sand as I flinched away from him thoroughly irked, he definitely wasn’t taking no for an answer, ‘how about I take you on a date? This Friday, there’s a great Indian place you’d like just down the street.’ He was too close to me for my liking and I veered away about to explain how I couldn’t care less.

He interrupted me, ‘look just go out with me, I swear I’m a gentleman’

‘No’

‘No?’

I stiffened initially with shock as his hand came to my thigh. Then when my brain kicked into motion I shoved it off me but the movement caused a searing pain in both my injured shoulder and hand.

That’s when I heard him.

‘Leave, now’

The tourist guy and I both snapped our heads back at the speed of light.

Namor.

I could cry with relief when I saw him. I clambered over the huge rock in front of me as he slowly seemed to glide towards me.

His hands automatically wrapped around my body, holding me well away from the water but his eyes were fixed on the guy who still sat on the sands frozen taking in Namor’s floating form.

‘W-What are you?’ He stammered.

Namor’s glare didn’t falter. ‘She told you she’s not interested, what are you still doing here?’

He looked stunned, then shaking like a leaf, practically sprinted from the beach.

I sighed in relief and sagged against Namor’s side.

‘Thank you’ I said, my eyes were having a hard time leaving his face but when he turned his attention to me I looked to his chest blushing.

‘I wanted to kill him’ he admitted.

‘I guessed’

‘Should I have?’

I laughed at this and looked down. I wanted to ask why he took me back to my room. I wanted to tell him I missed him. I want him to take me back. But all words seemed lost on my tongue then.

‘So, what is your type ?’ He mocked asking the same as the guy who just ran off. I laughed into his chest again and tried to put some distance between us but his arm held me secure as he voiced a soft please between his lips and brought his face down smelling my hair. I melted into his arms then.

‘I missed you’ I allowed myself to admit.

‘Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear those words?’

‘A day?’

‘No’

‘Since you saved me from drowning the first time?’

‘No’

‘Then?’ I asked with my brows raised and amused.

‘Try 5 centuries’

I scoffed at this.

‘You didn’t even know me 5 centuries ago.’

‘That’s what’s so painful about it, I was waiting for you not knowing when you’d arrive on this realm’

I pursed my lips.

‘Did you spend those 5 centuries sweet talking other girls like this?’

He laughed then, lightheartedly, ‘No, there is just you for me’

I pulled him in then and kissed him, my lips on his lips, hands in his hair and his hands in mine. He hugged me tightly. I felt so loved and comforted for what seemed like the first time in my life.

‘Are you going to take me back?’ I asked him.

‘No’ he stated.

I raised my brows perplexed, ‘Why the change of heart?’

‘I think you are of the surface for a reason, I had no love for the surface world before but I’ve come to see that you- you are my love for the surface world, without this-‘ he gestured around the beach, ‘I’d never have had you’ he kissed my forehead.

I was getting a terrible feeling, like something had changed but maybe not for the best.

‘Why are you saying this?’

‘Because I love you’ he stated simply with his dark eyes looking at me so deeply I was afraid I’d be pulled into their depth.

I could feel the tears filling my eyes as he continued, ‘all I want to do is protect you but look what I did to you’ he felt my shoulder, ‘you were right, I took you away from your home’ his hand came to my face, ‘I want the best for you, I want you to be happy.’

‘Okay? So what- what now?’ I stammered out, I was determined not to let the tears fall.

He was meeting my eyes so intensely, my heart sank in my chest. It kept sinking to a bottomless pit as he sounded out his next words, ‘You’re staying on the surface, you’re only 23, you have your entire life ahead of you, I don’t want to take that away from you again.’

I was falling into a level of misery I had never felt before. But the finality of his words rang through me and I knew he was serious.

‘Are you going to tell me to forget you now?’ I asked exasperated and on the verge of a breakdown. He laughed at my question but there was no humour in it, his eyes an abyss of sadness and loneliness.

‘I don’t think you’d be able to forget me that easily my love. Am I right?’ Namor steadied my body in his arms.

Unable to stop them, my tears fell hard, my head went to his chest and I tried to pull into him.

He stroked my hair as I cried.

I said his name over and over again as he stood taking in all the pain in me. I was so unsure of my future but I always felt comforted knowing he was there but now, what did I have now?

‘Just tell me one thing’ he said.

‘Mhhmm’

‘Do you want me?’ He sounded out, a longing in his tone.

My answer came immediately, it had been something I considered over and over, something I tried to deny.

‘I think I fucking love you’, I cried harder as he clutched me closer, his warmth engulfing me.

I wanted to tell him how often I think about him, how I couldn’t imagine a future without him in it, how I wanted more of him all the time, how no one had made me feel this way.

Before I could, he pulled himself off me.

‘Leave the island’ he ground out as if pained, ‘take your time to find what you need’

I was on the verge of exhaustion and collapse as he said this but couldn’t stop meeting his gaze.

‘What if I don’t want to go?’ I exclaimed.

‘I can’t force you to do anything, but I’m withdrawing myself from you.’ He stated.

‘What will you do now?’ I asked. He looked at the water.

‘I have to go back to my home, there is much I have missed.’ He looked back at me and he pressed a chaste kiss against my lips again.

As soon as I felt it his lips pressed on mine, his presence was gone, the absence of his warmth leaving the cold sea winds to assault my face and body.

He whispered something before he left.

My only love.

——

I have no idea how I made it home after crying for what seemed like hours in the spot where he left me. I was calling out his name, begging and pleading for some kind of miracle. Nothing of the sort happened.

Here I was now, comforted by Mia, bags packed to leave this godforsaken island and hand over the keys to her.

She was staying for an indefinite amount of time, her work was remote so it didn’t really matter anyway. When I asked her what she was doing next she answered calmly and happily, ‘I’m going to stay half here on the island and half with Attuma in Talokan, he wanted me to have time for myself and my career after I told him what I was doing and how hard I’d worked for it’. I smiled with her, at least someone had found their happiness.

My bags were in the cab later and I hugged her a goodbye.

Before I left Mia held my arms, ‘He’s right you know, you weren’t ready for him, take your time, find yourself and then if you feel the pull, you know where to find him’ she winked at me and pulled me into another hug, both our eyes tear filled, ‘I just wish you happiness, even though you are the most indecisive friend I have, your heart is full of love, you just don’t know where to place it’.

I cried about this later too.

I thanked her and bid her the best of luck, pulled into the car and left.

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#namor #tenoch huerta #fanfiction #namor the sub mariner #smut #wakanda forever #princess shuri #fluff #romantic #love

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