hello hello welcome welcome. welcome 2 the HORUS guide 4 HORUS tech aka horus-unofficial.tumblr3.un gives you extremely comprehensive and very useful insight into its "pattern groups" and "licenses". we are your host harold HORUS here today to talk to you about our beautiful darling cunt of a child, the LICH

nobody knows how the lich came 2 be. some buddies of ours say they invented it 9989 years from now which is weird bcos anyone normal would wait another decade before sending that shit back in time to hit that sweet 9999 and keep people guessing as to whether these files actually are from that far in the future, or if the lucky terminal receiving this code just stopped bothering to count the years after 15015u. either way, the lich is here now, and back then, and most certainly at some point in the future, and it kinda looks like we probably did invent it so that means we are in the clear to act like we're the ones who made it!

the lich sucks! its terrible! with glass bones and paper skin and a reactor that overheats at room temperature, a gust of wind could leave a dent in this PG's plating, which is made from samples of styrofoam and bubble wrap warped straight from the insides of pre-Fall packages labeled "FRAGILE, HANDLE WITH CARE" (a perfect bumper sticker for your lich, should you find yourself piloting one sometime within the next -50 to 250 years). you can tell no former members of harrison armory's R&D department were involved in the designing of the lich because the only thing those fuckers know how to do is create industrial microwaves, and the lich's reactor is the most slipshod, poorly-coded shit in the known universe. the only code regulating the lich's reactor is "reactor = cool" and not only are neither "reactor" nor "cool" defined anywhere in the system code, but HOR_OS doesn't even use = signs.

you may ask us, "if the lich is so shit, why do people pilot it?" and we are so glad you asked! generally speaking, answers to this question fall into one of two variations: - "it's a funny mech" - "why is everyone saying i pilot a lich??? i pilot a nelson!!! what do you mean that's my lich frame in the mech bay and i've had it for years, i literally don't have a single HORUS license, @horus-unofficial please advise"

the lich's victorian orphan-esque constitution aside, its biggest strength as a frame is likely its ability to send itself to the seaside for a much needed mental health break should it encounter the slightest hint of adversity on the battlefield. its no wonder the lich is so frail, the entirety of our nonexistent R&D budget went into making this thing the most annoying roleplayer on the playground. "you hit me with your sword? nuh-uh, i dodge. oh you run me through on your spear, killing me instantly? well it turns out that that body wasn't actually me, i've been dramatically looking down upon this duel from up there on those cliffs the whole time!" <- words most commonly spoken by future lich pilots at 11 years old

this allows it to be unexpectedly versatile in combat- with a refundable get out of jail free card and a maximum speed comparable to most of SSC's catalogue, it can weave through dangerous zones in combat with unexpected efficiency, allowing it to support allies from virtually any range, and instigate the occasional skirmish if its pilot is so inclined. we dont necessarily advise that you choose violence as a lich pilot, only that its a more viable choice of function than you might initially think

the lich plays with the timestream with the same enthusiasm as a preschooler in a sandbox, both in regards to itself and anything (un)fortunate enough to be within its sensor range. for every timeline where the lich is playing support for its allies and being so kind and niceys, there's another timeline where it gleefully tears into its adversaries until it overextends and dies respawns in another timeline, and it's through this universal law that an unusually principled lich pilot might find themselves taking a hit for its allies before immediately redeeming that get out of jail free card we mentioned earlier. of course, "principled HORUS pilot" is an oxymoron, so if your squad has a lich pilot what actually happens is more along the lines of being teamed with the biggest fucking nuisance on your planet, who pretends to toodle about the battlefield all combat because the truth is they've been stuck in a time loop for 7 years, and are well beyond the point of caring.

bottom line: if you encounter a lich in combat, dont even bother targeting it. it's unkillable except for when it isn't, and its banned from every omninet roleplay forum in the known universe for a reason

A lich pilot... the last kind of person you wanna meet in the Long Rim. (He/him)

Update on the SSC goon squad/Lich situation

I'd like to reassure this account's followers that I returned (mostly) safe and sound from the joint Ranger Corps/@officialunionhr operation.

Me and [REDACTED] managed to chat a while over a spot of tea before they went off to discuss the handling of the captured operatives with HUC command.

Also, @horus-unofficial was absolutely right: it is super funny when a smug designer baby in a Death's Head realizes you just retconned their perfectly lined up killshot.

Experiencing time non-linearly is also a very intresting experience I thought was exclusive to Memorial Morphs. Honestly I think this spooky boy might be used more for enlightenment than combat. Also for testing if the reactors of reclaimed mecha are still safe; it's going to be way faster if you can just come back from dying of meltdown instead of having to run dozens of test procedures.

Aniway, we should be returning to our usual business of promoting the HRA catalogue. Up next is a closer look at the SnapDragon disposable missile silo.

A Beautiful Death - my design of a LICH that appears in the story I’m working on

Lancer pilots dressing up their mechs pt 2

March Of Robots Lancer Edition

Day 19

Clockwork Lich

ooo cool links for you to click on to support me

>>>Didymos, Didymus: Ancient word meaning "Twins". We now know why it named itself that.

>>>Our Voladore contact identified it as "La Pulga" or "the Flea." As they oft reside within Blinkspace, research into this entity has been painfully slow.

>>>Twins. Fleas. There is never only one.

>>>//INFESTATION

>>>//SSLL

You are not a static thing. You have as many bodies as there are Planck instants stretching from the moment of your birth to the moment of your inevitable demise. You are not the body frozen in a Planck instant. You are the thing that flies between them.

-- DIDYMOS Prime

At long last! King Andru was finally taken out by no other than our beloved star lancer, our very good girl, Apple Blossom. She deserves all of the human flesh treats we can give her.

Like my art? Give me a tip!

My coworker wanted to take another crack at one of these signs!

...I think I gotta tell my coworker to stop watching those weird fucking Old Humanity shows it dug up.

hey so i dont own a lich, i dont pilot a lich, i have never been able to print a lich, and yet everybody keeps wondering where my lich mech is im not even a pilot what is going on

no you are. you pilot a lich. or you will. or you did. try to print a lich see what happens

We do not recommend giving this one a long leash. (he/him)

Finally finished reading Legionnaire but unfortunately it set me back on my bullshit and I'm trying desperately to spare my tabletop group from it.

I need to just sketch more, it helps me remember how to draw like an actual frigging adult.

Three bad guys and an english teacher. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke