#kpop really just hates deep voices like
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it’s one thing if a member in a group doesn’t get a lot of lines because they’re not good at singing but the fact that yeo has always had so much potential and yet is paid dust when it comes to line distributions is so frustrating… kpop just hates deep voices
#im still thinking about this#ive listened to his cover maybe 50 times today it gets better every time i listen to it sgsjshsj#kpop really just hates deep voices like#they either end up as rappers or are pushed to the back even if they can sing fine#or they give them the talk singing parts 😭#yeo has such a nice vocal tone that contrasts w the others so nicely like jongho’s for example#and instead of using that to their advantage kq just keeps pushing him back#😔💔#it’s getting better at least halazia was great for him and i hope bouncy is better but !!! years of wasted potential#isai.txt
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I Just Have a Feeling... ~ *Jung Wooyoung*
Summary: It’s your first solo mission, and your boyfriend doesn’t want you to go. He has a feeling things will go wrong, but you don’t think they will. Is his gut reaction right?
Pairing: Jung Wooyoung X Fem!Reader
Genre: Fluffyish Oneshot
Word Count: 1333
Warning: Rather angsty but it ends well enough.
Masterlist
Taglist: @foxwinter @maeleelee @foxwinter @kpop-will-kill-me
He didn’t like this. No, he really didn’t like this. It’s not that Wooyoung didn’t trust you. You were very competent in the field and he really had nothing to worry about, but something deep in his chest was telling him to worry. He wasn’t usually like this, so what was so different this time around? Maybe it was the fact that you were going solo for this mission.
“Are you sure about this?” He asked you, hovering from your bedroom door.
You glanced behind you for a quick second before continuing to pack your things for your mission. “Why are you so worried? You’re not usually like this when it’s just us two on a mission.”
“That’s because I’m with you when you go on missions.” Wooyoung explained, a slight whine in his voice. “But you’re going alone with no one to protect you!”
“Now, that’s not true.” You counter defensively. “San will be with me, he’ll just be back up, that’s all. He’ll be right there if I need anything. So you don’t need to worry about anyone protecting me or not. I’ll be fine.”
He groaned with a pout. “I wish I was the one protecting you like always.”
You smiled softly before going over to him to pat his cheek. “I know and I wish you could come as well. It’s just, you know what the Boss always says: couples should not go on missions together, or else it will further complicate the mission.”
“I wish we never told the team we were together.” He grumbled, his pout becoming even gloomier.
Sighing, you said, “I know, I know, but they were going to figure it out sooner or later. This is the mafia, Wooyoung.”
“Yeah, I know.” He sighed. “It’s just not fair! If anything couples should go on missions together, because then they can keep an eye on their lover and have their back!”
“I understand, but the Boss doesn’t want any unnecessary sacrifices, like what his love did for him.” You bit your lip, remembering when the Bosses significant other didn’t return from a mission. The whole gang was in mourning for up to a month, as the Boss was inconsolable. After the mourning period was up, the rule was set in place and everyone had to obey, no matter how many protested.
He sighed again before pulling you into a hug. “Please don’t go. Get Jongho or Yeosang to go instead. Stay here with me, please.”
You pulled away a little to frown at him. “What’s got you so anxious? You’re never like this, so something must be bothering you. Tell me, please?”
Looking away, he bit his lip. “If I tell you, you’re going to make fun of me.”
“Try me.”
“I have a bad feeling about this mission.” He exclaimed. “I have a feeling that something will go wrong and you might get hurt. I don’t want that to happen.”
“Oh Wooyoung.” You hugged him tight. “Don’t worry about me. I’m tough. I can take care of myself. And San will be there if I need him. I promise you, I won’t get hurt.”
Jutting out his bottom lip, Wooyoung pouted again. “I know you can handle your own, but I can’t shake this feeling.”
“I understand.” You kissed both of his cheeks. “But I’ll be fine! In and out, it’s as simple as that!”
Though you made it sound so simple, he still worried. He peppered your face with kisses as you were about to leave, even though San teased him for smothering you. He couldn’t help himself. Something inside of him was telling him to try and stop you or even to get San to make you turn around and waltz back into his arms. But you made it very clear that you were going and you’d be home in time for dinner.
Dinner came and went and you still weren’t here. Wooyoung didn’t touch his food and was pacing the floor in front of the front door. He hated all this waiting. Where were you? Why were you late? Did something happen to you? Did something happen to San so that he couldn’t come and rescue you when you needed him? What if you needed him? He knew this mission was so top secret that only two people could go, but why couldn’t there have been a third for extra insurance? Why oh why couldn’t he have gone with you?
“Y/n, where are you?” He mumbled, glancing at the door before resuming his pacing.
“You’re going to make yourself sick pacing around like that.” Yunho called from the stairs near the landing, a teasing smile and an equally mirthful glint in his eye.
He looked up before scowling to himself. “They said they would be back before dinner. It’s almost midnight!”
“Correction, it’s almost eleven.” Yunho continued to tease, leaning against the railing.
“Only Y/n can correct me.” He snapped. “I hope that the railing breaks and you fall.”
He laughed. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“What do you want, Yunho?”
“I want you to calm down and be patient.” He sighed. “You’re so tense. Maybe traffic is bad or the mission wasn’t as simple as Y/n said it would be. Just chill. It’s no good working yourself into a tizzy over nothing.”
“But what if it isn’t nothing?” Wooyoung blurted out. “What if they need us?”
“You don’t know that. Things could be fine.” Yunho shrugged. “I just don’t think it’s worth worrying over if you don’t know the actual outcome.”
He sighed, though he couldn’t stop himself from scowling. “Yeah I guess.”
Before Yunho could add on, the sound of screeching tires outside the door put them both on high alert. Yunho dropped down a pistol for Wooyoung while he unholstered his own. Slowly heading to the door, it flew open before he could. San was carrying you princess style and crimson stained the both of them.
“Y/N!” Wooyoung screamed as San set her on the ground gently. “WHAT HAPPENED?”
San looked at him bewildered. “I-I-I don’t know! One second she wasn’t coming in through her intercom and the next there were gunshots and screams. I tried to help her but it looks like she got caught in the crossfire. I couldn’t reach her in time. Wooyoung, I’m so sorry.”
He didn’t say anything to him. Instead he cradled you in his arms, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Y/n, lovely, please wake up. Please. I need you. I need you to come back to me. Lovely, angel, please come back to me. I’ll do anything to see you alive again.”
“Wooyoung.” Yunho started.
“No.” He shook his head. “Y/n can’t die on me! I can’t! I can’t go through life without them! I just can’t! Y/n, please come back to me. I love you too much to have you leave me like this! Please!”
“DAMMIT WOOYOUNG I’M NOT DYING!” You shouted startling everyone. You gave a weak chuckle. “I mean, ugh, uh, I’m dying.”
“Y/N!” Wooyoung pushed you off of his lap, making you wince. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!”
“Look, I didn’t expect San to think I was dying.” You explained. “Things went a little sideways when one of the guys there recognized me. When my intercom stopped working, I knew I was going to have to take matters into my own hands. Everyone’s disposed of, but some of their bullets nicked me. I’m fine, just sore.”
He glared at her. “You gave me a heart attack! How could you?”
“Wooyoungie, I’m sorry.” You sighed, understanding how he felt. “I didn’t mean to scare you, honest. I’m so sorry.”
Sighing, he exclaimed, “Never do that again.”
You nodded. “Understandable.”
Pulling you into a gentle hug, he whispered, “I told you I had a bad feeling.”
“I know. You were right.” You mumbled back. “Next time, I will only go on missions with you by my side.”
#Ateez#Ateez Fanfiction#Ateez Oneshot#KPop#KPop Fanfiction#KPop Oneshot#Jung Wooyoung#Jung Wooyoung X Reader#Jung Wooyoung Fanfiction#Jung Wooyoung Oneshot#Jung Wooyoung Angst#Wooyoung#Wooyoung X Reader#Wooyoung Fanfiction#Wooyoung Oneshot#Wooyoung Angst#Mafia#Mafia AU#Oneshot#Angst#Fluff
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Xdinary Heroes reaction:
Their S/O dealing with Stress and Anxiety
I wrote one of these for Ateez but now I'd like to write one for the group that has been making me feel better these passed few months. There will be discussions on both Stress and Anxiety, if either of those will send triggers, please read cautiously or do not read
Summary: how does our 6 heroes help their S/O (you) deal with Stress and Anxiety
Warnings: triggers for stress and anxiety may occur.
Scenario: boyfriend, angst, emotions, don't worry there's fluff too!
GIFS are not mine! Credit to all original owners!
Gun-il
Gun-il is constantly looking out for those around him
But you are his #1 priority
So when he sees you stressed out about something
He's gonna forget everything else
His main focus is you
Whatever it is
He's gonna make sure you step away from it
He will do something totally sweet
Maybe make you some food
Get you some hot tea
Or even set you up a nice warm bath
If it's really bad he'll take you somewhere quiet
And hold you
If he can't be there
Then he'll talk to you on the phone
Until he can get there
Jungsu
Jungsu knows all about your anxiety
And he knows you usually call him if there's a problem
But if he's at practice or something he'll let it ring or decline
However
If you call a second time
He will drop everything
Everything
Step away from a fansign
Stop practicing
He'll be answering that phone before the 3rd ring
He knows exactly how to calm you down
"Jagiya.... deep breaths, just listen to my voice"
He would slowly begin to sing to you
He would make sure your breaths were slow
His soft vocals would relax your body
He would stay on the line with you until you've calmed down
Only then would he be okay to hang up the phone
Gaon
Jiseok is a kpop idol
So he knows plenty what stress is
His life can be very stressful
But when it comes to you
All the stress is behind him
Because he's gotta help you feel better
You're his world
He hates seeing you like this
Jiseok is so full of energy
But when he sees your state
He tries so hard to hide his pained eyes
But he often uses his energy to his advantage
He'll probably send you some funny memes
And some cute selfies
With encouraging words
"Whatever it is baby, I'm here always"
"This isn't your fault, please don't blame yourself"
If he's with you he'll hold you in his arms until you calm down
Or he'll lay on his bed with you
Or the couch
He's just gonna make sure you know how loved you are
And that usually helps take the stress away
O.de
If there is one evil thing that Seungmin hates in this whole world
It's when your anxiety attacks you
You mean everything to him
He loves you so much
So it absolutely kills him when he finds you in the midst of a panic attack
His face grows sad
He's trying to hold back tears
He'll sit in front of you
And take your shaking hands
He'll hold them in his and kiss them
Before he pulls your trembling body into his arms
"It's okay baby... its gonna pass" he whispered
He'd make sure to whisper so you'd have to calm down to listen to what he's saying
"I'm right here my love"
He would kiss your head as he holds you close
He's holding his entire world in his arms right now
Drawing small shapes all over your arm and back
His touch is soothing
Soon he can feel your body slowly relax into him
A sigh of relief leaving his lips as he hugs you more
"There you go" he smiles
(Bruh I was listening to their cover of Drown while writing that and I'm Sobbing! 😭)
Junhan
I feel like the first time he saw you stressed
He wouldn't know what to do
But now that he's known you more
He knows how easily you get stressed out
So with that he'd open himself up more
He'd be the kind to take you for ice cream
Or maybe some Ramen
"This will help get your mind off stuff" He'd say with the purest smile
He'd also give you lots of hugs
Because he wants to take all the stress, weighing you down, away from you
He will definitely ask a million times if you're feeling better
But honestly the moment you were with Hyeongjun
You forgot why you were stressed
He has such a blissful personality
You feel at peace when you're with him
He's your comfort
He's your rock
And he'll do whatever it takes to make you forget what was stressing you out
"It's okay Jagiya.... whatever is bothering you, let's figure it out together"
Jooyeon
Jooyeon loves you very much
And he knows you come with a few things
One of those things being major anxiety
It's the one thing he hates
Not about you!
Just what it does to you
However
He puts the world on hold when you're having an anxiety attack
He's going to sit with you
No matter where you are
Even if it's in the corner of a closet
He'll sit beside you
Pull you against his chest
His heartbeat beating gently against your ear
He'd wipe your eyes if you were crying
And he'd kiss your forehead
He'd also run his fingers gently in your hair
And hum a little song to you
Whatever he needed to do to relax your body and mind
"It's okay baby, I'm right here, it's gonna be okay"
He'd speak so gently to you
And hold you close
Until you've relaxed against him
I promise the next one will be sweet!! 😅
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I Swear I Had A Plan With Those
Bully/1
Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader
Word count- 4.9k
Includes- Angst, hatred, remembering of past bullying
Tag List- @tinyidle @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa
@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere
Masterlists- check out for more fics
📝Series Masterlist ����Masterlists
📝BTS Masterlist
📝Namjoon Masterlist
Note- remember this fic is unfinished with lots of scenes abruptly stopping
Disclaimer- we all know our Joonie is a sweetie pie and would never do the things in this fic to anyone
J POV
No fucking way
Seriously?
I thought I was done with him
Done with his torture, done with him making me feel like absolute shit, all through high school
But no
Of course he has to be in the kpop group I'm hired to be a makeup artist for
Kim, fucking Namjoon
The bane of my high school existence, my worst bully, walks into the dressing area with the rest of the group members
Really?
I can't fucking do this
One of the members looks at me, walking closer
He smiles and waves, "Hi, I'm
J-Hope. You can call me Hobi"
Ok, he's really friendly
I wave back, "Hi. I'm Joanne"
"Are you the new make up artist?", one with blue hair asks
"Yeah", I nod
"Cool. I'm Tae", he introduces himself
I nod at him
One by one they all introduce themselves
Then Namjoon looks at me, smiles and says, "Hi, I'm Namjoon"
I die inside
He doesn't remember me?
I look at him and see absolutely no recognition in his face
He doesn't remember
He made my life fucking hell, but he doesn't recognize me
How could he forget the person he tortured every single day for four years?
How?
My looks didn't change much since high school
I'm not a completely different person
How can he not remember?
It's killing me
I can never forget him but he forgot me like I'm nothing
"Hi", I say coldly, so fucking angry
His eyebrows raise but I look away
"So I have to do J-Hope, Suga and V's makeup"
I point to Hobi, "You're J-Hope"
He nods
"Whose V?"
"Me!", Tae says smiling
His smile is adorable
"And whose Suga?"
"Right here", Yoongi answers
"Ok I also have to do RM's make up if there's time. Whose that?"
"Me"
No, fuck no
I slowly turn my gaze to Namjoon
"You?"
He nods
Fucking fantastic
I don't want to touch him
I don't want him near me
I'm taking my sweet ass time so I don't have to do his make up
"Ok Uh Hobi, I guess you're first"
"Ok", he smiles
Christ his smile is gorgeous
What is with all these guys being so beautiful?
I start with Hobi's foundation, smoothing it in with a beauty sponge
Jesus his skin is already perfect
How?
And why does he need face makeup?
Why do any of them, their skin is flawless
Hobi talks to me the whole time
He's really funny and so adorable
Tae also speaks to me when I do his makeup
His deep voice is such a turn on
Tae has a unique personality
I feel like he's a really fun person to be around
Maybe we can be friends
When Yoongi sits down, I hold in a breath
He's fucking beautiful
He doesn't talk so much but when he does, I love his voice
He asks a few questions like how I can speak Korean, where I'm from and some others
When he smiles, he takes my breath away
When Yoongi is done, I relax a little
"Hey Joanne!", Lisa, one of the other makeup artists yells
"Yeah?"
"Can you do Namjoon's makeup? I'm behind and I need help"
Fucking shit
I don't want to but I can't say no
It's my first day on the job, I don't want to cause any waves
But fuck who does it have to be him?
"Fine", I call her
I take a deep breath, then call him
"RM"
Namjoon looks up at me
"I'm doing your make up. Come on", I snap
"Oh ok"
He sits in the chair in front of me
Anger and hate are flowing through me
I start on his foundation
Jesus even his skin is flawless
How?
"So uh...did you just move here?", he asks
Is he fucking for real?
"No.", I answer
"Oh? How long have you been here?"
I can't do this
I'm going to flip out
"Since I was 15. I left for school but I came back", I growl
He raises his eyebrows at my tone
"Are you ok?",
No
No I'm not
"Yes"
"But you sound-"
"Look, I don't want to talk ok? Let me just do your makeup", I snarl
"Oh uh ok", he answers looking surprised and confused
He's silent for the rest of the time
I see him staring at me but I ignore him
I know he's confused but I couldn't care less
I just want him away from me
I finish his make up quickly but it still looks good
"Done", I say, turning away from him
I start closing the make up supplies
"Uh thanks", he says
"Yeah"
I hear him walk away
How am I going to do this job?
I don't want to be around him
I don't want to see him
I hate him
I should just quit, move back to the US and get my old job back
I need to talk to my boss
-------------
Namjoon POV
I'm so confused
I can't concentrate on the photo shoot
The new make up artist is being so cold to me
I don't know why
When I first saw her, my mouth almost dropped
She's the most stunning girl I've ever seen
But the second she looked at me, her smile dropped and she looked pissed
I've never had a reaction like that from someone I worked with
Hell from someone I've never seen before
I tried talking to her but she basically told me to shut up
I saw her talk so easily with Hobi, Tae and Yoongi
Why was she so nice to them but not me?
Does she know BTS and she just doesn't like me?
I remember when a lot of people didn't like me, called me ugly, untalented and told me to leave BTS
Is she one of those people?
But then I remember that she was asking our stage names and she didn't know who was who, so I don't think she knows us
I look over at her
She's standing to the side with the other makeup artists, waiting to check our make up and fix anything thats messed up
Yoongi goes over to her, pointing to his eye, talking to her
She smiles at him, answering
He sits down in front of her while she gets out some make up and a brush
She moves his hair away from his eyes, holding it while she fixes his eyeshadow
Jealousy flood my veins
Why is she being so warm with him but she's so cold with me?
About ten minutes later, Tae goes and taps her shoulder
She turns around, again smiling at him
He asks her a question and she checks his face
She shakes her head, talking to him and he smiles
Which makes her smile again
What the fuck?
I try to pose but I keep fucking up
"Namjoon what's going on? You ok?", the photographer asks
"Uh yeah I'm ok. Just tired"
"Take a break for a few minutes. Get your makeup checked, get food then come back"
I nod
I slowly walked to Joanne
"Uh excuse me. Can you check my make up?", I ask
She glares at me, scanning my face
"You're fine", she snaps then turns away from me
What the hell?
Why does she hate me?
As I walk away I'm so confused as to what's going on
------
"I like our new makeup artist. She's really nice", Jungkook comments during dinner
I almost choke on my food
"Yea she's really sweet", Jin agrees
"And funny! She was cracking jokes back at me today", Hobi laughs
"And she's gorgeous", Yoongi adds
"Oh yeah", Jimin agrees
"So pretty", Tae chimes in
"I couldn't stop staring at her when she did my make up", Yoongi admits
I keep quiet
I don't want to say anything bad since they all seem to have such positive interactions with her
It's just me she's not nice to
"Namjoon?", Jin calls
I lift my head to see all the guys staring at me
Shit
Did they ask me something?
"Uh what?", I ask
"I asked what you think of Joanne? You didn't say anything while we were talking", Hobi answers
"Oh yeah she's nice. A little quiet but she's nice. And beautiful"
"Maybe she was blown away by your good looks and she was too stunned to talk", Jimin laughs
Yeah right I wish
I just smile to get them off my back
I need to talk to her more, maybe she'll warm up to me
I want to get to know her
I hope she'll give me a chance
--------
Walking into the dressing room a few days later, I see Joanne
She looks up and I give her a smile
She glares at me again, rolling her eyes
I feel my smile fall
I guess she still hates me
Sitting down, I take out my phone looking through it
But nothing is catching my attention
I'm upset that she doesn't like me
I hate that I don't know why
"RM", I hear and look up
She's glaring at me
"Come on", she snaps, gesturing to the chair
🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨
2 months later
Namjoon POV
Joanne hates me and I don't know why
She's been here for two months and she never talks to me
She doesn't do my makeup that much and I found out that she specifically requested not to do mine
That was a punch in my heart
She only does it if there's no choice
She doesn't look at me, she glares
She's so cold when she has to speak to me or be around me
And she's completely the opposite with the guys
She talks so much with Yoongi, she laughs with Jin and Hobi, she jokes with Jimin and Jungkook and she's silly with Tae
It's only me she doesn't interact with
If I try to talk to her she shuts me down completely or she just answers with as few words as possible or shrugs
The shitty part is that I like her
A lot
I'm falling hard for her
I love her personality
I watch her when she's with the guys and she's the sweetest, loving, caring and funny person
Just not to me
Her smile takes my breath away and her eyes are gorgeous
She's smart and she loves to read like me
She loves music but I don't know what kind because she never talks to me
We have a lot in common and I want to be with her, ask her out, but she won't give me the time of day
And I want to know why
--------
I walk into the dressing room and spot her by the makeup
A week passed and we haven't needed to get our makeup done for anything so I wasn't able to talk to her
But today we're doing a photo shoot and I can talk to her
And I'm not leaving until she tells me why she hates me
I know she has me today because I specifically requested to have her
Otherwise I'd never be able to talk to her
She does Yoongi and Tae's make up first
I watch as she talks, jokes and smiles at them and I get so jealous
I can't help it
I wish she'd do that with me
I'd give anything to see her smile at me
Finally when Tae's done, I see her face drop as she calls me
"RM"
She never calls me by my name
Just RM
She calls all the guys by their names and nicknames
She even made one up for Yoongi since he doesn't really have one
But I'm just RM
I think she'd call me Mr. Kim if she could
And that bothers me
I sit in the chair in front of her and she doesn't look at me or say anything
"Hi", I say and she just nods at me
She starts doing my make up silently
"Uh Joanne can I talk to you for a minute?", I ask
"Why?", she snaps
"Uh, I have something I want to ask you"
"What?"
Fuck
This isn't going how I wanted it to
She's so hostile towards me
"Why do you hate me?", I blurt
Her hands stops moving and she finally looks at me
And I see anger and hate in them
It's scary
"You're a fucking idiot", she says angrily
"What?", I ask surprised
"You're a fucking idiot", she says louder, "You really don't remember?"
"Remember what? I don't know what you're talking about"
She laughs dryly, "Of course you wouldn't. Just forget it. I don't want to talk to you. I'll get someone else to finish your make up"
What the hell?
She tosses her brushes on the table behind her and starts leaving
I get up immediately
I need to know what I did
"Wait. Joanne. Wait. Tell me what I did. I'll fix it"
She stops in her tracks and turns around
"Uh everything ok guys?", Jin says nervously
"No", she answers
"What's wrong?", Jimin asks concerned
"Him. He's what's wrong. He's always what's wrong", she snaps, her gaze burning holes in me
"What did I do to you? I don't know."
"Of course you don't. Why would you remember?", she says louder, getting angrier
I stared at her
I really don't know what she's talking about
She's acting like I know her
"You know me RM"
I do?
From where?
I think but I can't recall her at all
"I don't think so-"
"Yeah you do. But back then you used to call me stupid fucking American and slut while your girlfriend called me bitch or whore
"What?", Jimin gasps
Oh no
Oh god
"You remember now? The American girl you tortured and teased and bullied all through high school? Then you got your girlfriend to do it too?", she snarls
Oh my god, that was her
I can see it now
I see her clearly
How could I not have realize?
And I'm frozen in shock
All the memories come rushing back
How I made fun of her
How I called her names
How I made her cry almost everyday
"What the hell Namjoon?", Hobi questions
"I...I..."
"Nothing to say? Not gonna tell them how you made four years of my life miserable? How you and you're fucking girlfriend spread rumors about me, turned everyone against the foreign girl? I was alone everyday at school. No one wanted to talk to the girl Kim, Namjoon hated"
I swallow hard
I didn't hate her
I was in love with her
From the first day I saw her
But I couldn't be with her
The kids in my school didn't like foreigners
They were bullied relentlessly and any Korean who spoke to them was bullied right along with them and considered outcasts
And no way was I going against the whole school to be with a foreigner
I was one of the "cool kids" and I wanted it to stay that way
And I was so pissed off that I fell in love with her and couldn't have her
I was such an idiot
And it makes so much sense that I'm in love with her again
I fell for the same person, twice
"Namjoon, is what she's saying true?", Hobi asks
"Yyyy...yes", I answer
"Seriously? Why would you do that?", Tae questions
"I don't know"
I can't say because I loved her
She snorts, "You don't know? That's great. You made my life hell for no reason. Thanks"
"What did you do to her Namjoon?", Yoongi asks
I can't answer
I don't want to tell them
I don't want to think about it
That's not me anymore
"He's not going to tell you. He probably doesn't even remember half the things he did"
No I remember
I remember clearly and that's the problem
I'm so ashamed of the way I treated her
"What did he do Jo?", Jungkook asks
"What didn't he do? I came here when I was 15 just in time for high school. Great right? New country, new language, new school. As if that wasn't bad enough. I sat next to him in one class because that was the only seat left."
I remember
She came in my class with another teacher and she took my breath away
The seat next to me was the only one left in class and she was told to sit there
She was really shy, keeping her eyes down even when she sat next to me
"At first he ignored me like everyone else. But one day I wasn't paying attention in class and I missed the instructions. So I asked him what was said. He glared at me and told me not to talk to him and that I needed to pay attention. I was surprised but I thought he was just one of those kids who hated everyone and wanted to be left alone. There were kids like that in my school in New York. So I didn't take it personally. Until he said "Stupid fucking American"."
She turns to me, "Remember Namjoon?"
I do
This is the first time she said my name to me and she said it with so much hate
It hurts but I know it's nothing compared to how she's feeling
"After that he did everything to make my life miserable. He called me "stupid fucking American" and " slut in korean, which I had no idea what that word meant until I got a grasp on the language. He kept telling me to go back to New York, no one wanted me here, I shouldn't have come here, I'm ruining Korea and shouldn't be here. He told me these things every single day, all day. When I was in the hallway and he saw me he yelled, "Go back to America, slut". Soon everyone was calling me that. They heard him call me stupid fucking American too and the kids started calling me that too. No one said my real name. It was always some kind of insult."
Jesus, I made her life horrible
I feel so bad
I just wanted her and I couldn't have her
And I was ok if she left me alone, but when she spoke to me, I had to get her to stop
So I insulted her
But I kept doing it
I didn't have to keep doing it but I did
The guys are looking at me with disgust
I deserve it
"You remember Namjoon? You got all the kids to turn against me. And you remember the rumors you and your girlfriend spread about me?"
I nod, so ashamed
I can never forget those rumors
"Then fucking tell them what you did!", she shouts, fury radiating off her
The guys all look at me
I don't want to answer but I have to
I did this to her and I need to say it
"Uh...my girlfriend at the time hated her. So uh she started the rumor that Joanne was in Korea because she was expelled from her school in America for sleeping with three of her teachers. And that she needed to get far away from America so she came here. And to keep an eye on her to see if she sleeps with any of the teachers here."
Holy shit", Tae stares at me horrified
"You let your girlfriend do that?", Jin asks incredulously
I hang my head, "Yes, I didn't stop her. I helped her and repeated the rumors too."
"That's fucked up", Yoongi shakes his head
"His girlfriend started calling me bitch and whore and soon everyone was calling me that too"
"Oh my god", Jimin gasps
"Do you know how many guys asked me to fuck them? How many told me that they could fuck me the best? How many asked me how long they have to wait to fuck me? Because apparently there was a list going around of guys I "agreed" to fuck and all the guys were adding their names to it. I was told so many times how they wanted to hear how a slut moans and see how good I can fuck them. I was fucking harassed everyday. I kept getting touched. They touched my hair, my arms, my legs, my hands. I started wishing for everyone to go back to ignoring me.", she says angrily, tears pooling in her eyes
I feel like such an asshole
"Do you know how many times I was jumped by a group of fucking girls? How many fights I got into because they started it? How many black eyes, bruises, scratches, cuts? Did you know your girlfriend was part of a group that jumped me?"
I had no fucking idea, she never told me
"Yeah her and seven other girls jumped me after school. They followed me home, dragging me into the park by my house. They hit my face so many times. When I fell, they started kicking my body all over. You're girlfriend stomped on my wrist. I had to go to the hospital. I had to get stitches by my eye and my lip because they split it. I had three broken ribs and a broken wrist. I was out of school for a week and half because of those injuries. Remember that?"
She was out of school because she was in the hospital?
I thought she just didn't want to come to school
I didn't know she was hurt
"You must have been so bored because you were even worse when I came back. You remember what you said?"
"I....I....said that you...deserved to have your wrist broken and that you should have broken more bones", I whisper
"Namjoon. What the fuck?", Jimin gasps
"Yeah. And the fact I was hurt didn't stop any girl from coming after me. My dad started to teach me how to defend myself after I got the shit kicked out of me and put in the hospital. After that I fought back and kicked the shit out of any girl who touched me. But that didn't stop you. You started calling me a psycho bitch"
I know
I hate that I did that to her
I was such a horrible person
"Your parents didn't know?", Jungkook asks her
She shakes her head, "I didn't want to tell them. They were stressed from their jobs too and they were having a hard time here too. So I just kept quiet. The only reason they knew about me getting jumped was because I had to go to the hospital"
"I'm so sorry Jo", Yoongi says
Silence falls for a few seconds until she says, "You know I left Korea because of you"
Wait what?
She did?
Oh god, I didn't want that
"You did?", Hobi asks
She nods, "Yeah. I was sick of being here. I hated it here. After I graduated, I asked my parents to let me move to California with my older cousin for school. A week after graduation I was gone. I went to school there and worked as a special effects makeup artist. But I missed my family and they convinced me to come back and work here. So I came back because I figured I'd never see him again. I got this job and I was happy about it until he walked in the fucking door."
That's why she was glaring at me on her first day
"But Jo, you didn't know he was in BTS?", Jin asks
"No. I hated everything about Korea. I was bullied the entire time I was here and I wanted to forget everything korean. I didn't listen to kpop. I tried to forget my time here. I didn't know what BTS was. So no I didn't know", she answers
She glares at me, tears welling in her eyes and my heart crashes to the floor
"And the worst part was that he didn't even remember me. He didn't recognize me", she says, tears falling down her face
I feel so horrible
I hate that she's crying
I made her cry back then and I'm still doing it
"He didn't remember the girl whose life he made miserable for four years. He came in, smiled at me and I died inside. I could never forget him but he forgot me. It's like everything he did was nothing to him, it didn't matter, but to me it was everything. I cried everyday, I dreaded waking up and going to school. I wanted to disappear everyday. I went to sleep wishing I wouldn't wake up. But he forgot everything he did. And that's so much worse than everything he ever did back then. He really doesn't care"
I do care
I feel awful that I didn't recognize her
But I never forgot what I did to her
I always think about it and wish that I could apologize to the girl I bullied
The first girl I loved
But I really had no clue that girl was in front of me for three months
But now I see her and I can't believe I didn't recognize her
"I'm sorry. I really am Joanne. I'm sorry for everything I did. I never forgot what I did to you. I think about it all the time and I wished I could apologize to you. I'm not like that anymore."
She just stares at me and I know she's gonna go off on me
Because even though I'm apologizing, I know it means nothing to her
It wouldn't mean anything to me
"You're sorry? Sorry? Fuck you Namjoon. Like saying sorry fucking matters!", she shouts, "I don't care that you changed, if you even did. You'll always be that fucking asshole that made my life horrible for four fucking years. I never did anything to you. I asked a fucking question once and you turned the whole school against me. I hate you"
I know I deserve it but it hurts so much when she says she hates me
"Stay the fuck away from me. Don't fucking talk to me, don't look at me. I'm never doing your make up again. I would fucking quit this job but I stay for them because I love them and they're my friends", she yells, pointing at the guys, "Forget I exist. You did it once. Do it again"
Then she turns and storms out of the room
The entire room is silent
"Namjoon, I don't know what to say. I really can't imagine you being that way. You're nothing like that", Hobi says quietly
"I...I changed after that. After all the hate we got in the beginning, I realized that I was the same as those people. I did the same thing to her. I hated the way I used to be so I changed. I hate that I was that asshole to someone else. I hate that I didn't realize what I was doing until much later."
"Why did you do it? Why her? Why a girl?", Yoongi asks angrily
"I don't know. I don't. She was different, she didn't know Korean so I could say whatever I wanted and she wouldn't know."
"But she learned Korean. She speaks it well!", Tae yells
"By then I couldn't stop and I didn't care. But later on I did it because....", I trail off
How am I going to say this?
They're going to think I'm crazy
How can I tell them I loved her from the beginning?
They wouldn't understand
I don't even understand why I didn't just leave her alone
"What?", Jungkook demands
"Because I liked her. I wanted her. And I was horrified that I felt that way. I knew she would never be with me after what I did and that pissed me off. I was an idiot. I was pissed at her and not myself. I asked a Korean girl, Hyo, in my class out and she was my girlfriend for the rest of high school. Hyo hated Joanne. She was jealous of how beautiful Joanne is and how all the guys wanted her, even though they made fun of her too. That's why Hyo spread the rumor about her"
"You fucked this girl's life, you realize that right?", Yoongi points out
I nod
I know and I'm so sorry
They have no idea how sorry I am
"You're so lucky that she didn't try to kill herself because of what you did! I'm sure she was depressed and if she was it's because of you!", Jin snaps
I know
He's right
And it kills me
I know what it's like to be depressed
I was depressed from all the hate I got when we started
I hate that I made someone else feel that way
"She's strong. She went through all of that and she's still strong. She still achieved her dream of being a makeup artist. She's a tough girl.", Yoongi says
"Leave her alone Namjoon. Don't make things worse for her now", Tae demands
I nod
I want to make it up to her
I still want her like I did in high school
I love her
I want to show her that I'm different
But she'll never let me
And I don't blame her
🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨
This next part of the story was where I was going to have the reader watch Namjoon and notice how different he is over a few months
She would see how he talks to people like the staff and his ARMYS during a fan meet, watch him encouraging the members, being the best leader we all know he is
And she slowly falls in love with him
#i swear i had a plan with those series#kim namjoon fanfic#namjoon fanfic#bts namjoon fanfic#bts rm fanfic#rm fanfic#bts fanfic
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vulnerable
twice 10th member au
jade breaks down and makes an important decision
WARNINGS: overworking enviroment, break downs, mentions of alcohol, emotional post
masterlist 👽 requests are open
feedback is awalys important to me!
Jade looked at the mirror again, cleaning the tears that insisted on falling. At this point, after almost seven years as a kpop idol, she should be used to all of this, all this hate. But she didn't.
Actually, Jade never really understood why people hated her. Was it the fact that she was good? Was she even that good after all? Jade didn't know. But she knew words have meaning and, sometimes, they hurt.
If it was some years ago, she'd run and buy as many soju bottles as she could, but now things were just different. Still, this voice inside her head always made sure to remind her of all her weaknesses, all the times she failed, and made her think about all the chances she'd have to fail.
Jade looked at her wristwatch. She was inside that bathroom longer than she expected. The girls would soon start missing her in the practice.
Taking one more deep breath, she washed her face, hoping the cold water would reduce the swelling of crying for twenty minutes straight, fixed her mask, and went back to the practice room.
"And she's back!" Nayeon said, clapping, being the first to notice Jade was back.
Faking giggling, Jade fixed her hat, trying to pretend everything was fine and that it was just a pee break.
"At least it was a good break." Chaeyoung joked with Tzuyu as they got up, ready to start dancing again. "I felt like my legs were moving alone."
"You're lucky we're alone. If the managers were here we wouldn't even have breaks." Dahyun joked.
"Yeah," Jade agreed. "let's just end this. I want to go home."
"Don't we all?" Sana also joked, puffing, making the girls laugh with her.
Somehow, in the middle of all that laughter, Momo realised something was off. Jade was different from when she left the room asking for a quick break.
"Hey," Momo lightly grabbed Jade's arm, Jade humming in response. "are you okay?"
Jade forced a giggle, trying to pretend she didn't know why Momo was asking her that. Her puffy face was definitely giving it up.
"Sure!" Jade smiled through the pain.
"Jaidee, don't lie to me." Momo said with a warm smile. "It's me you're talking to."
That was it for Jade. As all the emotions hit her all at once again, Jade just lowered her head, allowing the tears to fall and show how she was truly feeling.
"Guys..."
She heard Momo calling the other girls as she walked to the couch. Jade tried to hide her face with any of the pillows there as the girls started crawling around her.
"Oh, Jade?" Jade heard Jeongyeon ask, almost whispering, scared of the girl's reaction.
"What happened?" Mina asked, caressing Jade's now caramel hair.
They all stayed quiet, listening to Jade's sobs filling up the room. None of the members had ever seen her in that state before. Of course, they saw her crying but never so... vulnerable.
They looked at each other, trying to figure out who would be the first one to ask what happened. Was it Johnny? Was it her family? Was it their early jokes? No one knew. But they all knew one thing: Jade needed help.
"Everyone h-hates me!" Jade mumbled against the pillow, sobbing.
"No!" the girls said together.
"Don't say this, Jade. We love you!" Nayeon said, running her arm around Jade's shoulder.
"No, guys." Jade said, looking at the girls and taking her mask and hat off. That was when the girls realised how bad she was. "Didn't you see w-what people are t-talking about me?"
The girls looked at each other again, trying to understand. Then, Jihyo's sighed.
"The contract." she said, linking things. "The company announced we renewed our contracts today."
"Oh..." Dahyun said, calling the girls' attention to her, and she showed her phone display. She tried to hide it as Jade was also looking. "People are loving you, Jade."
"Stop lying, Dahyun!" Jade suddenly said. "People hate me all these years. I'm starting to regret renewing that fucking contract."
"Don't, unnie!" Chaeyoung said, supporting her chin on Jade's lap and hugging her legs. "Don't listen to them. We're not TWICE without you."
"Stop, Dahyun." Jade covered her ears and started crying again.
"Jade, listen." Momo took Jade's hand out of her ear and looked straight at her. "Calm down. We're here to help you, but you need to calm down and tell us what happened."
"I happened, unnie!" Jade exploded. "Stop pretending you guys don't know what happens every time something about the group goes out. People hate me and make thousand of petitions for me to leave. I just..." Jade sighed. "I can't do this anymore."
"We know words hurt, Jade." Jeongyeon told her. "We are the living proof of this. But, if you listen to everything everyone has to say about you, you won't ever show your true value."
"I've been doing this since when I was fucking fourteen, Jeongyeon. It feels like I can't breathe with all this weight on my shoulders." Jade tried to put her emotions into words, but the more she tried to explain, the more it'd hurt.
"Look at us, Jade." Sana asked. "People hate on things that shine. Look at all the things you had to go through to be here today. Years of training, a survival show. All the songs you produced and all the idols you helped so far."
"Your family is so proud of you, Jade. We are proud of you." Mina said, trying to comfort the girl. "If you want to quit, be honest with yourself because we know that you're bigger than all of these people out there. You just have to realise it yourself."
"And, if you want to quit, we'll be here for you. As we've always been." Tzuyu reassured Jade. "Just don't make anything you'd regret."
Jade took a slow glance around her. She has been living with these people since her teenage years. Some of them she only got to know at Sixteen, but it seemed like they've always been somewhere in her life as if Jade has always known them.
The confrontation turns into action. Escape turns into inertia, and Jade hated inert people.
It wasn't the first time she had thought of leaving the group. If that was supposed to happen, she'd have done this for bigger reasons than just people talking about her. Listen people saying that you're bad right at your face isn't a nice thing, but it surely was some gasoline for competitive souls like Jade's.
Yet, Jade felt like she had failed with the girls, with the people who supported her the most. And she couldn't ever forgive herself for that.
"I have no idea what to do next, guys." Jade honestly said, for the first time in years.
"That is called 'not being tough all the time'." Naeyon joked, hugging Jade again.
"We're not giving up on you, unnie." Chaeyoung said, still hugging Jade's leg. "TWICE will always be ten."
When Jade looked down and saw Chaeyoung looking like a little kid, she couldn't contain it and let out a laugh mixed with a cry, uncertain of how to react to the scene. The girls also realised Chaeyoung's position and started laughing, the tense atmosphere gradually fading away.
"Chae!" Jade whined. "Stop making me laugh."
"If that makes you stop crying, then, I'm okay." Chaeyoung said, clinging even more to Jade's leg.
Somehow, something inside Jade lighted up. You can be the greatest singer of all time, yet if you wake up with a hoarse voice on the day of your biggest show, it'd change everything. Yet, with all of the exhausting situations and hypotheses, Jade refused to leave the girls.
She didn't want fame. She didn't want fans. As long as she had the girls next to her, everything would be just fine.
#twice#twice oc#twice au#twice 10th member au#10th member of twice#twice scenarios#twice imagines#twice reactions#kpop!au#kpop!idol#kpop!oc#kpop!soloist#kpop!addition#female!idol#female!oc#female!addition#female!kpop#idol!au#idol!oc#idol!addition#kpop reactions#kpop imagines#jeongyeon#jihyo#momo#nayeon#sana#mina#dahyun#chaeyoung
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My “Get to Know ATEEZ”
Requested by a new anon Atiny: Hellooo! I'm a new atiny and I was wondering if you could help me get to know the boys a bit, I mean if you could describe them in a few words, what you think about them. I'm also curious who are the trouble makers and who are the mom and dad of the group who keep them in check. Thank you! This is gonna be a some of my opinion since they asked me to describe them. If you disagree, please do so kindly.
This is not a recent picture, I just think it’s cute as fuck.
ATEEZ is an 8 member group that debuted on October 24th, 2018 under KQ Entertainment which is a pretty small company. From what I’ve seen, KQ has been amazing to the boys and I love them. I’ve been a fan since shortly before their debut. Like I literally found them a week before they debuted😂.
Debut songs: Pirate King and Treasure
So before they debuted, they were called KQ Fellaz. Currently, there is a KQ Fellaz 2 group and they’re amazing. Definitely check them out. They opened for ATEEZ this tour and I’m just amazed. Yes, I went to the concert this past month. Yes I went to the rescheduled one earlier this year too. I waited too long to see them.
Fandom name is ATINY: it’s ATEEZ and Destiny combined. Light stick is LIGHTINY. There are currently two versions, I have the second one.
Anyway, back to ATEEZ, here are some MUST SEE KQ Fellaz Content, I still go back and watch them:
Performance Video I
Performance Video II
Performance Video III
Yunho Solo Performance
KQ Fellaz - From (they performed it at their concert and I cried)
Any of the KQ Fellaz Episodes, here’s episode 1
Bonuses:
Demon line: Hongjoong, Seonghwa, San
Now onto each individual:
Captain (Leader if the group) Kim Hongjoong
Rapper and composer
November 7th, 1998
Dad of the group. I feel like 90% of the time he’s a single dad, 10% he has Seonghwa’s help.
One of the best leaders in kpop hands down.
He has an older brother.
He was the first to join KQ.
The laughs in the songs… yeah. That’s him
POSSESSIVE AS HELL OF ATINY. When I went to the concert back in January, he told us we weren’t allowed to listen to anyone but ATEEZ.
He’s my original bias. Please don’t tell him I strayed…
Please listen to this David Bowie cover
INFP-A (yes I’m looking this up bc it matters)
Visual and Vocalist, Park Seonghwa
Oldest member, April 3, 1998.
You honestly wouldn’t think he’s the oldest…
Has an older brother
Mother of the group. Has a love hate relationship with Hongjoong tbh… Not really, don’t send me hate. Jfc. They’re just old and married (I say as I am the same age…)
You will see him referred to as Mars (his name backwards is Hwaseong and it means mars), toothless, and angry bird.
If I remember correctly, it took him and Hongjoong a while to be as close as they are, but they have such a strong bond now.
Has been in a drama called Imitation… Just look it up.
FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT
HIGH NOTES, such amazing vocal dexterity. Bc he also has a deep voice
ENFJ-T
Performer and Vocalist, Jeong Yunho
March 23, 1999
Six foot, fucking one. Tallest member. Y’all king.
Deep. Fucking. Voice. God kill me.
Block B is one of my favorite groups and they covered Nillili Mambo… but here enjoy our deep voice kings (mingi, Yunho, Yeosang…)
His growl is combined with Mingis in pirate king…
He’s also in Imitation with Seonghwa. 👀 look it up…
A GOLDEN RETRIEVER I SWEAR
Energizer of the group
Has a younger brother
Also is a Harry Potter fan
Um enjoy this
ENFJ-A
Vocalist, visual, and performer, Kang Yeosang
June 15th, 1999
Former BigHit Trainee. Yes he’s friends with TXT.
Wooyoung is his best friend… more on this later. I swear there’s so much jealousy
Has a birthmark on the temple area. He’s so cute. Please look up those pics
An MC for music bank!
An absolute savage. No one can escape him. Please save ATEEZ.
I love him. He’s just… 10/10 would be my best friend. Just saying. If anyone in ateez, it’d be him.
Has a sister
Here’s a video showcasing his… yes.
ISFP-T
Performer and Vocalist, Choi San
July 10th, 1999
His name means mountain
Will make you think unholy thoughts 24/7
He’s a child…
Surprisingly introverted. Before their MBTI, I always thought he was an extrovert
Loves Wooyoung with his whole chest
Shiber. He loves his shiber. I’m pretty sure he has to sleep hugging something so there’s that thought for you
Was also in IMITATION with Yunho and Hwa
Trained in taekwondo. He’s a black belt if I’m not mistaken, I cant remember what degree though
His accent when he speaks English is so cute
HAS A CAT
INFP-T
Performer and Rapper, Song Mingi
August 9th, 1999
Princess Minki
He’s fucking six feet tall
Thighs for days but is insecure so his wardrobe is like 98% baggy pants or loose fitting. (Thiccc too. There’s a tiktok. I’ll find it) found it 😁
Thing 2
FIX ON
Growls with Yunho in the beginning of Pirate King
Pretty sure he and Yunho are platonic soulmates and this
(lowkey certain Yunho is borderline his sugar daddy😂)
Big clingy baby
ENTP-T
Performer and Vocalist, Jung Wooyoung
November 26, 1999
Thing 1… him and mingi together. Boom chaos
He and San are besties
But he and Yeosang… yes. This man legit followed Yeosang when he left BigHit So they could stay together. Just remember that.
Hongjoong’s number one problem child. I promise.
Everything about this man is just chefs kiss
He’s a social butterfly and friends with everyone I swear
He has two brothers!
ENFJ-T
MAIN VOCALIST, performer, fucking love of my life, Choi Jongho
October 12, 2000
I literally love him so much
Maknae
He was in IMITATION
Has a younger brother
STRONG BOY… literally used to break apples in half all the damn time
Can be quite the annoying little brother
Loves his hyungs though… so much
Look at him
I’m literally cryingggg
Be afraid
High notes vs the reactions
ISFP-T
#remi’s 💌#remi’s anon#ateez#ateez san#ateez hongjoong#ateez seonghwa#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho
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I'll Bleed For You | Part One
Group: ATEEZ
Pairing: Fem!OC x Serial Killer!Wooyoung
Word Count: 2.5k
Rating: 18+ to 21+
Genres + AUs: Non-Idol AU(kind of), Serial Killer AU, Smut, Horror, Angst
Content + Trigger Warnings: Strong language, explicit sexual language and descriptions, stalking, verbal abuse, sibling rivalry hatred, Hongjoong's really mean to OC, descriptive talk of cutting and tasting blood, brief mention of faked suicide(it's in a dream)
Tags: @kpop---scenarios @jeonrose @skittlez-area512 @umbralhelwolf @mybiasisexo @skeletor-ify @biaswreckingfics @bloopbloopkai @trashlord-007 @liliesofdreams @rdiamond2727 @naturalogre
Network pings: @cacaokpop-fics
Masterlist
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Kim Yangmi woke to the sound of her cell phone ringing incessantly, the noise extremely loud to her hungover brain. Groggily she reached for the offending object and answered without checking the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"Yangmi, where the hell have you been?" The voice of her best friend Kyunghee spilled into her ears. "I've been trying to call you for at least an hour!"
Yangmi sighed. "I was sleeping off my hangover. We went hard last night, shouldn't you be just as shattered?"
Kyunghee snorted. "I am, I just hide it better than you. But that's not why I called. Have you seen the news today?"
Frowning, Yangmi put the call on speaker and opened the news app on her phone. "Not since before we went out last night. Why?"
"You might want to take a look. Seems we weren't as sneaky as we thought we were."
As Kyunghee's words filtered through her phone, the news app finished loading and Yangmi saw at once what her friend was talking about.
TWIN SISTER OF FAMOUS RAPPER CAUGHT DRUNK & HIGH AT STRIP CLUB
Yangmi gulped, already imagining the fit her brother would throw when he came home.
"Shit, Kyunghee, this is really bad." She exclaimed, scanning the page with an ever-growing dread. The comments on the article were undoubtedly scathing, and Yangmi knew better than to read them.
"What're you gonna do?" Kyunghee questioned, concern lacing her voice.
"I have to post an apology before people start pulling Joong into this. Ah, damnit, what was I thinking?!"
"You should be allowed to have fun without worrying about the consequences." Kyunghee's argument was weak, and she knew it.
"Not when your brother's famous and hates your guts, sadly. Listen, I'll call you back later and let you know how he took it, okay?"
Kyunghee sighed resignedly. "Good luck Yangmi. Try not to let him strangle you, alright?"
Yangmi chuckled dryly. "I'll do my best."
After hanging up, Yangmi quickly sat down at her laptop and began to craft an apology for her actions. When she finished, she read over it to ensure it sounded as sincere as possible. Not because she felt remorse, but because her brother would be furious if she didn't. Apparently his reputation mattered more than any of Yangmi's thoughts or feelings.
Almost as soon as the apology went up it spread, people sharing it around and discussing it. As she watched the activity, she noticed that for the most part the responses were positive. Feeling relieved, she closed out the webpage, opening up YouTube to pass the time until her brother returned.
The door to the flat flew open, jerking Yangmi to attention as it slammed loudly against the wall. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for the argument that would undoubtedly come from this.
"Kim Yangmi, get the hell in here!"
"Coming!" One last deep breath, and she stood to face the storm.
Kim Hongjoong stood by the dinner table, glowering at his sister. "Would you like to explain to me what the fuck you were doing last night?"
Yangmi gave a short, humorless laugh. "Why ask me? I know you read the news."
Hongjoong let out a frustrated growl. "God, how could you be so fucking careless? I tell you not to stay out late, I tell you not to go out partying, and you just have to throw it all in my face, don't you? I saw that apology you posted and I don't believe you meant a word of it!"
Yangmi rolled her eyes. Of course he didn't believe it, he hardly ever believed a word she said.
"Well, I'm not surprised you didn't find it sincere. I'm not sorry for jeopardizing your career. If I was gonna be sorry for anything, I'd be sorry for sullying the family name." Yangmi huffed and shook her head. "You know, I really wish our parents were still alive. Because if they were, you'd have never become famous and I wouldn't have to put up with your shit!"
Hongjoong laughed mirthlessly. "You think you put up with shit? You can't even begin to imagine the things I have to deal with on a daily basis, and you think I'm giving you hell? Fuck that, I can't even trust you anymore Yangmi! You know what I wish? I wish that I'd been born an only child and not a twin. Then I wouldn't have to put up with your bullshit antics!"
Yangmi froze, shattered by the words that spilled from her brother's lips. Tears gathered in her eyes and she turned, intending to flee before they fell, but Hongjoong had other plans.
"Just a minute, I'm not through with you."
Yangmi stopped, gathering herself before turning back around. "What?"
"In light of your recent actions, I have no choice but to confine you to the flat for the foreseeable future. I will be locking all the windows and doors whenever I leave, and if you wish to go out I will be accompanying you to ensure you don't get up to any tomfoolery. In time, when I feel you can be trusted, you will be free to come and go as you please."
Yangmi stared at him, her mouth open in shock. "Oh, so you're my parent now as well? Last time I checked, 25 is a little too old to be grounded."
Hongjoong stared her down, face expressionless. "Act like a child and you'll get treated like a child."
Fury welled up inside her, making her clench her fists and scream "I hate you! You're a sorry excuse for a brother and I wouldn't wish this life on my worst enemy!!"
Turning around she ran to her room, slamming the door shut and sinking to the floor as hot tears spilled down her face.
The first week of Yangmi's confinement was miserable. Hongjoong had just released a new song, so he was gone all day and most of the night as well. Yangmi grew bored quickly, finding most of her usual pastimes failing to keep her entertained for long.
But with the second week came something that would soon occupy her thoughts in every waking moment.
Yangmi woke on Monday with the feeling that something was different, and not in a good way. The feeling was confirmed when she found a lavender-coloured envelope wedged in a thin crack of one of her bedroom windows.
Curious what was in the envelope, Yangmi pulled it through the crack and examined it. There was no writing on it, just skilled drawings of cherry blossom clusters in each corner. There was nothing left to do but open it, so that's what she did.
The paper was the same pretty lavender as the envelope, and written on it was a short note in neatly printed characters.
"You don't know me yet, but I know you quite well. You are beyond beautiful, a goddess in human form. I hope one day to see your pretty face beneath me, twisting with pleasure as I fuck you into the bed. I want to hear you scream my name, your exquisite body laced with sweat and cum. I long for the day that these things will come to pass. See you soon, my sweet."
Yangmi felt nausea rise in her stomach as she took in the contents of the letter. Who could have sent her this? Was this Hongjoong's idea of a sick joke? Yangmi took a picture of the letter, intending to ask Kyunghee for advice. Then she took out a box of matches from a drawer in her nightstand and burned the letter in her bathroom, rinsing the ashes down the drain afterwards.
With that done, she sent the image to Kyunghee and explained where she found the letter.
No letter came the next day, nor the day after. Yangmi woke on the third day feeling somewhat anxious and unnerved. She moved through the day slowly, expecting at any moment to turn a corner and find another letter perched somewhere.
Around noon, Yangmi's phone rang. The call was from an unknown number, which didn't surprise her in the least. Assuming it was another crazy fan trying to get to her brother, she answered it.
"Hello?"
Silence.
"H-Hello?"
Still nothing.
"If this is some kind of prank, it's not funny."
A faint sound reached her ears and she froze, listening hard. Chills tracked down her spine when she realized it was the sound of breathing, a man's breathing to be exact.
"Wh-who the fuck are you?" She demanded, voice shaking despite her attempt to sound calm.
The only reply she recieved was the click of the call ending and the beeping of the dial tone as she stared numbly at her phone, feelings of fear and worry multiplying within her.
No further incidents marked the day, but Yangmi remained on edge throughout and had uneasy dreams that night.
Next morning she woke to a sight that filled her with dread: another envelope shoved through the crack in her window, this one a soft pink colour. No part of her wanted to open it, but she felt she should know its contents before showing it to her brother.
So, despite her fear, she opened it.
"Hello my love. I saw that you burned my letter. Perhaps I came on too strong, but I simply wished to express my feelings for you. I've been watching you a lot these days, chiefly when you shower or get changed. One day I'd love to make some little cuts on you somewhere so I can taste your delicious blood. I wonder: would it taste like candy, or would it be far sweeter, like ambrosia? Would you let me keep some of it as a memento? The day of our meeting grows ever closer, I look forward to it."
Yangmi felt her mouth drop open. Bile rose in her throat and she gagged, disgusted by what she had just read. Opening her drawer, she closed her hand around the box of matches, and then remembered she was going to show Hongjoong first. With a sigh she threw the pink paper onto her nightstand and pulled out her phone, settling in to await her brother's return.
A few hours later he returned. Yangmi pocketed her phone, grabbing the envelope and letter off her nightstand before exiting her room.
"Joong, can we talk for a minute?"
He eyed her suspiciously. "About what?"
"I found this shoved through a crack in my window this morning." She said, handing him the envelope. "I'm afraid someone might be stalking me."
Hongjoong takes the envelope, pulling out the letter and reading it in silence. When he finished, he gazed at Yangmi with obvious disgust in his eyes and she knew at once her efforts had been in vain.
"You just can't resist, can you? Acting like a fucking child seems to thrill you, but I'm telling you this childish behavior needs to stop right this instant. You think I'm fooled by your frightened act or your fake little letters? Think again!"
Yangmi gaped at him, hurt and offended that he would think such horrid things of her. She opened her mouth to protest, but Hongjoong continued speaking.
"If you ever try to take this trumped up story to the authorities, I'll make sure you're locked in an asylum for the rest of your pathetic life. This is sick, Yangmi, and it's not funny at all."
Enraged, Yangmi snatched up the letter and retreated to her room, locking the door behind her. She took a picture of the letter for Kyunghee, then burned the letter as she had the first one. After that, she pulled out her phone and filled her friend in.
Turning off her phone, Yangmi slipped into her pajamas and climbed into bed. Turning off the light she fell into a troubled dream.
In her dream it came out that the sender of the disturbing was none other than Hongjoong himself, a plot to get her certified as insane and shipped off to an asylum. She was exposed to all manner of awful tortures in that asylum, on for it to end one day when Hongjoong came to visit her little padded room and murdered her in cold blood.The last thing she saw was him placing the knife in her hand to make it look like she had ended her own life.
Yangmi woke the next morning in a cold sweat, terror clinging to her bones.
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#thekpoparchives#kdiarynet#cacaokpop#ateez#wooyoung x oc#ateez smut#ateez angst#ateez horror#ateez hongjoong#ateez san#ateez wooyoung#maturefanfic#21+#au#fanfic
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okay so before tumblr rudely interrupted me, i was wanting to ask about your thoughts on atarashii gakko's new album, ichijikikoku! since i know you listen to them too :) i remember you saying a bit ago you thought their single 'the edge' was a bit boring, and i would be inclined to agree. but i think the songs on this album are fun! especially 'otome no bigaku' and 'odoru honno 001', which really feel reminiscent of earlier songs of theirs to me <3 'seishun wo kirisaku hado' also has a really fun and interesting feel to me, i really like it. and of course the addition of 'otonablue' on this album is. yes!!! i really like otonablue, i have for a while. it's one of my favourite songs of theirs overall. 'janaindayo' and 'giri giri' i also really love the sound of, tbh the only song on this album im not super a fan of is suki lie. overall i think it's really solid!! i will say it has a very different overall style than their ep snack time, and songs such as nainainai but i don't think that's necessarily a bad thing? i do miss that style a bit though. ANYWAYS i would love to hear your thoughts ^_^
MAN I LOVE IT SO MUCH. They went more for the ballad/rock stuff which I heavily prefer (mostly because they genuinely are good vocalists). Otonablue is genuinely like top 3 songs of theirs and top 10 songs in general for me, so to see an album drop that features it!!! Incredible. I do really like snack time and nainainai, ("free your mind" being a standout for me), but I was worried that it was going to mark a more permanent change in their artistic output. I hope that their new album performs well (especially overseas, because they were promoting snack time in the US at least), so that they realize that it's not a lost cause.
Janaindayo: it feels like an anime opening to me? (Maybe it is one?) I love it though!!!! This shit slaps. I love the speed of it. It feels like I'm running while listening to it
Seishun wo kirisaku hado: THIS SHIT IS SO GOOD.. it feels just like Splatoon music to me. I love vocal filters in songs. This is so fucking good. I don't really know how to put into words how much I like this track.
Giri Giri: interesting. A more typical pop track for sure! Giri Giri means round and round, (like spinning). I do genuinely like how they just let the vocalist go during the bridges. Not my favorite, but I don't hate it.
Suki lie: Also very typical pop track. I don't hate it (I've been listening to a lot of kpop lately so this just feels like a mediocre kpop track to me...) But yeah def a skip. I love the jazz section in the middle but the stuff around it... :(( It's just so mid LOL. maybe I'd like it more if I knew what the lyrics meant but yeah. A bit too repetitive for me
OTONABLUE: OTONABLUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEE !!! (Incredible song love it so much it's my favorite out of the album. I love how it uses 80's synths. If this song doesn't have a music video I hope it gets one for sure)
Otome no bigaku: YESS let her SING!!!! me when women sing with deep voices and go crazy and go wild and just sing !!!!! I love music !!!! I love women!!!!! I wish we had a music video of this I wanna know which girlie is the one who sings
Odoru honno 01: YEASHDHXHHSAHA. it's not my favorite song out of theirs but I genuinely hope this is the direction they take their music! Imo it suits them really well as a band it seems like they want to do more uplifting and fun tracks for people to blast in a car with their friends and this def feels the most in that wheelhouse out of all of the tracks presented.
IMO everything after otonablue slaps!!! Suki lie def feels like they put it on their because their producers made them, but the rest are incredible. I wish they reserved the more traditional pop tracks for another EP but whatever it's still a great album :))) we love atarashii gakko in this house
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TPOL!JK
having just finished her therapy session, chaeyoung is sitting and talking with her friend tina. yes, tina hwang who is excited to see her friend after such a long time. it’s because of tina that chaeyoung is able to access her phone and while she’s there, the two laugh and converse about all kinds of things. they even reminisce on the “good old days” from when they were nothing but little girls dreaming of becoming idols from their shared love of IU.
chaeyoung followed through on her dream while tina became a successful model but ever since the lawsuit, chaeyoung has slowly became irrelevant. she hasn’t released music in so long and though her fans continue to spread her relevancy through twitter, most of the media was too busy praising jungkook to even pay her any mind.
the longer she recovered mentally in the institution, the more she began have a more love-hate relationship with jeon jungkook. it’s strange how the two girls are still besties despite sharing the same man but tina would never let a minor inconvenience like jungkook tear them apart.
speaking of jungkook, he rings her phone and chaeyoung regrettably answers it too fast to her liking.
“Hello. It’s me” he says and his deep voice nearly has her melting to the floor. his voice alone tugs on her heartstrings despite the brewing hate she has towards him for taking her son away and ruining her life.
“yeah, i know it’s you” replies chaeyoung and tina immediately knows just who she’s talking to.
“I’m gonna make this really short. What is it that you want? And why did you bring namjoon into this?”
really? THAT’S why he called? chaeyoung can feel her blood boiling all over again. no, are you okay? no, how are you doing? she knows he’s doing this for your sake. it’s always, ALWAYS about you even when you aren’t here. good things he’s an idiot just like you are.
“look” chaeyoung softens her tone “i just…i just want to be able to see my son, okay? please. that’s all i want”
tina begs her to put jungkook on speaker because she wants to hear if he’ll take the bait. her voice sounds very convincing and sincere. she misses her son, which is true but she knows that he won’t let her have him.
that’s the thing. jungkook always, always has the last laugh. he tarnished her career and ruined her mentally. as much as she loves jungkook, truly, if she can’t have him then no one can. she won’t touch you because you aren’t the person who necessarily pushed a lawsuit against her but she’s sure with jungkook dead and gone, you’ll be in so much pain that she won’t need to do it herself.
“jungkook? can i please see jaemin? it doesn’t have to be everyday just…just one day out of the week, please? i’m allowed to have visitors now so, please?”
He laughs, cruelly.
Of course, he knows she’s putting on an act, it’s so obvious when she’s got that soft tone, “no.” He says simply, gritting his teeth because she’s trying to use his infant son as bait. And he knows what happened the last time he went to meet her.
“You’ve been in therapy for what? less than three months chaeyoung, I’m not that easy to fool, I saw the look inside your eyes last night… it’s revenge you want.” He snarls, Jungkook grips his phone tightly, he can’t believe he just wasted his time.
“You wanted so badly to give me a child, didn’t you? So you’ve done it, thank you now he’s mine. Go away and forget about him.” He’s warning her, calming his tone down, he can’t get too angry.
“Listen.. we can make a deal.” Jungkook switches to plan B. Of course he has to. “I can fix your career and your reputation, I’ll even fund it- I have a lot of connections in the entertainment industry yknow that.” He’s carefully putting his offer on the table, “You can go back to being the biggest kpop star you once were.. I know how much you loved it all..” it’s true, she adored being adored.
And he can make that happen for her, that is if she agrees to his terms and conditions. “But…. I want you out of our life for once and all.” Jungkook will resort to the last thing after this, because there’s no other way if she doesn’t agree.
He will have to kill her.
“You won’t see Jaemin, and won’t try to take him, you’ll be out of our lives. Because I swear to God if you aren’t, I’ll kill you. So what’s it gonna be?”
Jungkook waits for her response while he can’t wait to come home so you both can ready for your engagement party tonight.
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My Road To Becoming A Stay
According to my YT this date a year ago (7th of April 2022) marks the 1st anniversary of me first time watching anything Stray Kids. It all started with ODDINARY Main Trailer, however, it didn't make me a Stay just yet. Due to this day being a day that started my journey to finding Stray Kids and them changing my life, I decided to create a post showing my journey and lists of favorites. As you can probably see, I can’t decided on favorite songs as they have SO MANY GOOD ONES!
First encounter: ODDINARY Main Trailer (thought it was BL (boys love) trailer with Felix and Hyunjin as main leads first. When I realized it was kpop I lost interested as I thought the music style wasn’t for me). Based on my YT log, I watched the trailer the 6th of April 2022.
First song I heard: Maniac (kept showing up after I had seen ODDINARY trailer and eventually gave in and watched it).
Song that made me a repeat listener: I watched Circus on the 12th of June 2022, along with Your Eyes that day but it wasn’t until 17th of June 2022 (according to my YT log) when I ended up listening to Neverending Story and Venom on the 28th of June 2022 (according to my YT log) that I became a Stay.
First bias: Felix and Hyunjin.
First ship: (I’m a shipper, I can’t help it) Hyunlix.
Music videos that made me watch them over and over: (this is when I realized that I actually enjoyed listening to the music) Venom, Circus, Thunderous, God’s Menu, Back Door and Maniac.
Before I knew it I was listening and watching (YouTube/TikTok) them all the time.
Current bias: Felix, Hyunjin, Bang Chan, Lee Know, (that isn’t to say I don’t love Changbin, I.N, Han and Seungmin; each have something I like but those four above just makes my heart flutter a LITTLE bit more. Though I have to be honest that Han is taking up space in my mind more and more....).
Current ship: Hyunlix (the more I see of them, the more I love them; they’ve become my comfort (friend)ship), but I also really adore Chanlix.
Stray Kids became my comfort place. I adore watching their chaotic videos and their music is amazing. It’s the first thing I do when I wake up. Stray Kids makes Stay stay.
List of favorite songs:
1) Neverending Story (Tie)
1) Behind The Light (Tie)
2) Venom
3) Slump
4) Easy
5) Hellevator
5) Taste (Tie)
6) 24 to 25 (Tie)
6) Get Cool (Tie)
6) Lonely St.
7) Waiting For Us (Tie)
7) Red Lights (Tie)
7) The View (Tie)
8) Gone Days (Tie)
8) Circus (Tie)
8) Thunderous (Tie)
9) God's Menu
9) Back Door (Tie)
10) Maniac (Tie)
11) Charmer (Tie)
11) Domino (Tie)
11) Christmas EveL (Tie)
11) Wolfgang (Tie)
12) Scars (Tie)
12) Sorry, I Love You (Tie)
13) LoveStay
14) Secret Secret
15) Grow Up
Honorable mentions: You Can Stay, Double Knot, Mixtape: Oh, My Universe, Placebo, Gone Away, Blueprint, Voices, I am YOU, Levanter, Victory Song, Here Always, HEYDAY, District 9, 3RACHA, Chill, Surfing, Ex, Wow, Airplane, Astronaut, SSick, Hello Stranger, B Me, There, Novel, Lost Me, DLMLU, Case 143
Favorite SKZ-REPLAY Songs: Deep End, Limbo, Love Untold, i hate to admit, Alien, Wish You Back, Up All Night, Drive, HaPpY, ice.cream, Piece of a Puzzle, Because, Zone, Streetlight (this is in order)
#stray kids#text post#get to know me#my road to becoming a stay#kpop#i'm actually not interesting in other kpop groups only stray kids#as you can see i'm having a hard time choosing a favorite song as they have SO FREAKING MANY EPIC songs!#this is so rare for me that i like so many songs of one group/person#i don't think anyone is interested in this but i am so#personal
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What do u think abt the recent PJMS mess on twt...
@/darlinjimi turning out to be masc jimin obsessed (scary tbh) and then resorting to hate on him when he did smthg that was contrary to her ideal image of him. The way she was tweeting as if she controlled the entire pjm fandom was scary and very eye opening to me abt the fan culture in kpop
I'm only a little🤏🏻 worried abt how this affects the fandom
The depth of it all...
It wasn't a secret that she was a raging heterosexual obsessed with Jimin, but the homophobia of it all... But it makes sense. Jimin was just a tool for her, and her content was very specific and always stayed in the same category: sex. The problem was that at some point, I guess she noticed that Jimin was not providing that type of content for her to get her... creative... juices flowing. She can't post a photo like this and honestly go "I wanna sit on his legs so bad" or something like that.
If you know the tiniest thing about Elvis, you'll understand why she caved in to that movie and the actor and even to the dead man himself lmao. He loved the ladieSSS, loved their attention, had that deep MANLY voice, you know. She didn't need much to start comparing Jimin to Elvis and/or the actor. Jimin was simply not useful for her anymore. Jimin was not feeding her fantasy anymore. Which is okay, at its core. It's okay if someone's not doing it anymore for you, we get over our attraction to people all the time, and people close their accounts about their interests all the time ,or they move on to other fandoms; it doesn't tell me much more kpop fandoms beyond what everyone already knows: that we're consumers. Every member of BTS and the group itself, it's all there to be consumed. Everyone is free to walk away when the content out there is not something you want to consume. A lot of armys walked away because the music and the performances was no longer to their liking. A lot of us feel the same way about that. When it comes to idols, their personalities, personas, whatever you wanna call it, it's up for consumption too. It's why they are encouraged and why they know that they have to be multifaceted and show something for everyone. Nobody needs to give the idols any instructions. The "duality" is there so the people who like them pretty and cute can have pretty and cute; but they have to be sexy and dark too so the people who like sexy and dark can have that as well. I guess one side of Jimin's "duality" was getting too big for her to ignore, and it's not the playboy side she liked. It's why Jungkook on Instagram stories was the talk of the town, because he was catering to fans. He was giving fans the sweet flirty talk, the you're mine, I'm yours, I will be your boyfriend, etc. He was being consumed. I know it sounds weird, because nobody ever puts these things into words like this, but it is what it is. We all know it's happening, we just don't really talk about it in an analysis type of way.
In this case she was angry not only because at some point Jimin stopped catering to her fantasies, but because there's something worse about it: Jimin might be gay. Maybe Jimin is not telling her you're mine or whispering sweet nothings into her ear not only because he doesn't know her, but because he might not even be interested in the female gender at all. How is Jimin not being the type of man she needs him to be for her to be attracted to him.
And here comes the thing that most people don't talk anymore about homophobia: most will be okay with you being gay as long as you aren't "rubbing it in on everyone's faces". People look at let's say Ricky Martin, and once they're past the initial shock of remembering "oh shoot he's gay", they forget that he is gay. Because he doesn't act gay, and most importantly: he doesn't look gay. He's still desirable to women and he looks and acts the way it's socially accepted for men to look and act.
On the other hand, there are other men that don't let you forget that they are gay. And darling Jimin would've been okay, she would've been just fine and could've kept doing whatever she did and not resent Jimin if he was still desirable to her. If he still acted and looked the way it's socially acceptable for men to look and act. Even Elvis could be gay as long as he's still acting like a man, you know. Someone who would pick her up in his arms and have her sitting on his legs. Unlike Jimin, who as time goes by seems less and less interested in doing any of that.
One of those freaks said something like "if he's gay he should be the top at least". And it's all because of what I said above. In the unconcious mind, there's a deep rooted idea that GIVING DICK is better than RECEIVING IT (homophobia meets misogyny). Being "the top" would mean a more manly Jimin, someone who still caters to her idea of masculinity and to the fantasy that he would be able to and would want to fuck her.
There's so much more I could say about it, sexuality and all it encompasses it's such an extensive field, but I tried to stay on topic on not bring other people into the discussion Maybe another time.
Yeah LMFAO the way she acted as if she was physically destroying something with her tweets with 5 likes. All along it's always been about her. PJM twitter and even Jimin himself had to be about her.
Anyways, Park Jimin.
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You Got Problems ~ *Park Seonghwa*
Summary: After confronting your ex about his infidelity, you decide to go to your favorite bar to wallow in your sorrows. Of course, your confrontation follows you there. Turns out, bartenders really do give great advice.
Pairing: Park Seonghwa X G/N!Reader
Genre: Fluffyish Oneshot
Word Count: 1857
Warning: Drinking, bad break up, swearing
Masterlist
Taglist: @foxwinter @mxnsxngie @maeleelee @kpop-will-kill-me
A/N: This is rushed and kind of all over the place… Sorry.
You were surprised with how quiet Seonghwa’s Bar was, especially for a Friday night. However, you weren’t complaining. You needed to talk to him one on one anyways and this was the best way to do it. Besides, with no one around, you wouldn’t be judged for the things you told him.
“Well, well, well. Look what the tide brought in.” He snickered, wiping down the bar. “What can I get for you tonight?”
With a groan, you dropped dramatically on one of the barstools in front of him. “Something that will get me drunk fast.”
He raised an eyebrow at you. “Rough night? Sounds like you need your usual.”
“I need a sedative and sleep for hundreds of years.”
“Must’ve been a really bad night for you to make such bad jokes like that.” He shook his head and started making your drink.
You didn’t say anything as you watched him work. He always made bartending look so effortless. It also didn’t help that he was insanely attractive, so he looked amazing as he worked. But your heart wasn’t in it tonight to shamelessly flirt with him. He was right; it had been a really rough night.
Sliding the drink in front of you like you were about to snap his hand off when you took it, he glanced at you suspiciously. “Hopefully I did it right.”
Downing the glass in one go, you passed it back to him. “You always do it right. But I’m going to need about five hundred more of these to keep me pacified until next year.”
“I’m cutting you off after like ten.” He mumbled, taking the glass back to make you another drink. “You’re not doing a very good job of being subtle, so I’ll ask, what happened?”
You looked away.
“Oh shit. It was so bad that you don’t even want to talk about it?”
“I do and I don’t.” You dropped your head into your hands. “I just want to forget tonight even happened at all, that’s what I want.”
Another drink was set in front of you and the door to the bar opened. “Well, hey. I’m here all night. If you need anything, I’m right here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some other customers to help.”
You glanced over at the gaggle of girls who looked like they were only interested in drooling over Seonghwa. A pang of jealousy hit you. You hated seeing girls like this step into the bar because you were the one that found the little hole-in-the-wall place first. Seonghwa was your bartender. But you kept your mouth shut. Let them have their fun. At least someone was happy tonight.
As he started making their drinks, you just happened to eavesdrop on their conversation.
“Oh my God, he’s so hot!” The tall one pretended to fan herself with her hand.
The one with the bad spray tan nodded enthusiastically. “So hot! What I wouldn’t give to be the one to help him out of his uniform every night!”
“You’re so bad!” The pocket sized girl smacked her friend’s bare shoulder.
“Oh my God, guys, look!” The one with glasses put her phone out between the four of them. “Remember that bar we were just at? It’s already going viral!”
“Already?”
“Yeah! Ugh, I would hate to be them right now.” Glasses shook her head. “Imagine the worst night of your life blowing up all over social media.”
You were starting to feel sick and you hadn’t even touched your second drink. Instinctively, you curled into yourself, hoping they wouldn’t recognize you. Maybe if you closed your eyes and pretended you weren’t here, they’d go away.
“What are you ladies looking at?” You heard Seonghwa’s smooth voice ask with fake curiosity.
“Oh, here.” Your heart sunk deep in your chest as Glasses showed him her phone. Not wanting to see his reaction, you kept your eyes firmly planted on the bar right in front of you. This could not be happening. And yet it made perfect sense. A crappy night was about to get ten times worse.
“Well, that’s just unfortunate. I hope whoever they are, they’re being taken care of by a trusted friend.” You heard him say. You wanted to scoff. None of your friends would want to be there for you if they found out about what happened.
Fake spray tan girl started to sputter out, “Yeah, but c’mon! They totally deserved it! I mean, who would ever want to go out with a slob like that? He did the right thing by putting them in their place!”
“Is that what you think?” Seonghwa shook his head and dumped their drinks, causing them to whine like toddlers. “If you’re going to say stupid shit like that, then you are not welcome in my bar. Now get out before I force you out.”
With a pout, the pocket-sized girl spoke, “Fine. C’mon girls. Sunghyon said he’d meet us at the bar across the street anyways.”
As soon as they left, you sighed and started to dig for your wallet. You weren’t about to stay around here and deal with his false sense of pity. You’d rather just go home and get drunk.
“Hey. What are you doing?”
“Leaving.”
“No, please stay.”
You gave him a sharp glare. “Why? So you can tell me you feel sorry for me? So you can tell me how much of an asshole he was for saying that shit? For saying I’m too needy and that I’m ugly and that he only went out with me on a dare? No. I don’t need your pity. I don’t need anything from you! So I’m going home and you can’t stop me.”
“Hey! Wait!” He yelled out at you. As soon as your hand brushed the door handle, he grabbed your other hand. Your heart jumped into your throat.
“Look, I know it doesn’t mean anything, but I am sorry for what you’re going through. He had no right to say all that shit. He was the asshole for not only leaving you behind but cheating on you. No one should have to go through that kind of shit. And this isn’t some kind of fake pity, either. Believe it or not, but I’ve been in a similar situation.”
You glanced at Seonghwa from over your shoulder. For a brief second, you were speechless. His hair was perfectly messy, brushing over his left eye. His dark eyes held his usual amount of mystery that you used to think was frustrating, but now seemed impossibly handsome. His strong hand squeezed yours and you wanted to squeeze his back.
“What do you mean?”
He gave a half smile that gave him that boyish charm that was all too attractive. “Take a seat back at the bar and I’ll tell you.”
“Alright, fine.”
Once you took your seat again, Seonghwa remade your drink and told his story. “I used to be super into this girl back when I was younger-”
“Must have been a long time ago.”
He glared at you. “Do you want me to help you or not?”
You sighed and nodded. Rolling his eyes, he continued his story, “She was super pretty and super funny. And I was too awestruck to see who she really was. She only wanted me for my money and for the free drinks I’d give her. When I finally figured out who she was, I confronted her. Though I didn’t do it as aggressively as you did with your ex, I told her how much I didn’t like her for what she put me through and she laughed in my face. She told me I was stupid for believing all of her lies. She said it was fun while it lasted but she wouldn’t miss me or even remember my name by the end of the night. And that stuck with me even to this day.”
Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, not realizing you had a new drink in front of you. “You really went through all of that?”
He nodded. “Yep. It wasn’t fun and I was heartbroken for the next few weeks, but the thing about time is it starts to make things smaller. My pain still hasn’t gone away and it never will, but I grew, thus making it smaller. Do you get where I’m coming from with all of this?”
You looked down at the bar, giving a sad nod. “Yeah, I get it. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt still.”
“I know. I didn’t say it wouldn’t hurt. But you’ll grow and things will get smaller.” He then placed a hand over yours and you looked into his sparkling eyes. If you weren’t buzzed, you wouldn’t think he was looking at you with hearts in his eyes. “And besides, you’ll always have me.”
A more sincere smile tugged at your lips. “You’re right. I have you. And that’s enough.”
“Good. I’m glad I can be enough for you.”
The two of you spent a few heavenly moments just staring into each other’s eyes. You never noticed how big and handsome they were. You always knew Seonghwa was attractive, but now that you were really looking at him, you realized he was on a whole other level of beauty.
“So about your tab…”
You groaned and dropped your head onto your clasped hands. “C’mon! We were having a moment there! How could you ruin it?”
“Maybe you were having a moment.” He mumbled, but you could tell he was joking. He wasn’t a very good liar.
You glanced up at him. “What if I don’t have any money?”
“You never have money.”
“Exactly. So you shouldn’t have brought up my tab.”
He sighed, pinching the bridge with his free hand. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
“A little bit.” Sitting up, you dug through your pockets and emptied out their contents onto the bar. “This is all I’ve got.”
After a quick examination, Seonghwa gave you an unimpressed look. “A couple crumpled dollars, a few coins, a movie ticket, a hard candy, and some pocket lint. Yeah, no thanks.”
“Well, how else do you expect me to pay you?”
“Don’t you have a credit card?”
“I, uh, left it at home.”
With another dramatic sigh, he dumped your drink and slipped around the bar. You narrowed your eyes at him as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.
“What are you doing?”
“I don’t work for free and you left your money at home. So I’m going to close early and walk you home so you can pay me.”
You opened your mouth to protest before slowly shutting it. It didn’t sound like a bad idea. Besides, he’d get his money and you’d get to be in his company for a little while longer. You didn’t see a downside to it at all. So without further delay, you followed after him.
“I should lead! You don’t even know where I live!”
“Do too. You’ve passed out at my bar a couple of times and I’ve had to carry you home.”
“I- WHAT?!”
#Ateez#Ateez Fanfiction#Ateez Oneshot#KPop#KPop Fanfiction#KPop Oneshot#Atiny#Park Seonghwa#Park Seonghwa X Reader#Park Seonghwa Fanfiction#Park Seonghwa Oneshot#Park Seonghwa Fluff#Seonghwa#Seonghwa X Reader#Seonghwa Fanfiction#Seonghwa Oneshot#Seonghwa Fluff#Bartender#Bartender AU#Oneshot#Fluff#Angst
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long rant about thinspo and how i feel about it. so obviously tw for talk about that and also tumblr dont term me for using that word im not proana fuck off please, im allowed to rant (also im really fucking tired so idk if this will even make sense)
to start off im gonna say i have been part of pro ana tumblr and mpa for quite a while in the past, i only started to get to the pro recovery side of tumblr at the end of last year so that might cloud my perspective on this topic a bit.
my relationship with thinspo is complicated. i do realize thinspo is horrible and posting it only fuels other peoples eds, but i still look at it and have a private pinterest board for it because i still want to fuel my ed and get motivated to get worse sometimes. i know its bad but i still do it. but i dont post thinspo anywhere publically, all my shit is in private boards or folders and will never see the light of day since i just dont wanna trigger other people. but to say im completely against it would be a bit hypocritical since i do look at it and use it to fuel my ed. i just dont want other people to do so.
its weird to say im okay with some thinspo since im not really but im more okay with thinspo of people who actually have an ed and have posted pics of themselves to be used as thinspo. what im not okay with is using non ed'd people as thinspo. ive seen pics of eg jessie page and billzo used as thinspo and i hate it. (as well as models, actors and kpop idols but i dont know much about that and dont feel as conected to them so i wont talk about that now but it also makes me feel wierd)
jessie have posted pics of themself in the past when they were really bad and i get why people get triggered by them, but now shes fully recovered and talks a lot about their ed and to me it feels wierd that people use her old pics as thinspo since shes so openly recovered and pro recovery. billzo on the other hand hasnt got an ed and never has, hes just naturally skinny and has even said hes uncomfortable with that hes skinny so to me it also feels wierd to use him as thinspo. ive seen people say that you cant be upset when someone uses a well known person as thispo cause all other thinspo is of real people as well but i feel like theres a big difference between just normal pictures of a skinny person vs actual body checks posted as thinspo by an anorexic person. i personally think body checks are much more triggering anyways and i just feel morally wierd about purposefully using pictures of non disordered people to trigger yourself. ofc with people like jessie not everyone knows who she is and i get that other people who have posted thinspo might also be recovered, but when people tell the person who posted the picture that the person in the pic is recovered or just not comfortable with being thinspo why wouldn't you take the post down. same with non disordered people, if they look ed'd to you fine, but as soon as someone tells you that theyre not and possibly have stated theyre not comfortable with being used as thinspo why would you keep defending the post? just take it down. and i get thats never gonna happen, people are always gonna use whatever pics they find as whatever they want, this was just my thoughts. if you want to argue with me about this feel free but i dont think im gonna change my mind. and i also get being so deep into your ed that you dont care. i get why pro ana is a thing. ive been there and i hate it. if youre pro and reading this (witch i doubt anyone who got this far or even saw this post is but still) if youre pro rn please try and see that first of all eds are terrible no matter how much that voice tells you theyre gonna make you happy and second of all making other people worse wont make anything better and third of all pro recovery side of tumblr is so much better.
and if your reasoning is "well they posted it online, its free to use as whatever you want" fuck off. i dont care. suck my dick
tltr: im kinda okay with using disordered peoples pics as thinspo if theyve stated theyre okay with that or have posted body checks to be used as thinspo. im not okay with using non disordered people as thinspo. there are a lot of actually ed'd people who like being used as thinspo so if you have to use someone else to fuel your ed use them.
but also if thinspo wasnt a thing i probably would be better off so never mind, fuck all thinspo
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Okay so I’m just gonna start this by saying I rarely get to talk about BTS music in an analytical way in real life since I don’t have any ARMY or kpop friends irl so I really need to get this off my chest. But this, in no way, is hate towards any artist. I think most of us can agree kpop artists are all talented in varying ways and it’s okay if a certain sound or style isn’t your thing as long as you’re respectful about it. That being said, here we go:
Firstly I’ll start by saying Vibe is not my kind of music, I knew it wasn’t going to be when I heard the teaser and I suspected it wasn’t going to be when I knew Taeyang was going to be on it. ABSOLUTELY NO HATE to Taeyang but his style of music is just not my preferred thing and unfortunately I believe he suffers from something all YG artists suffer from, there is no growth in the music, their first release and their latest release could easily be from the same album and you wouldn’t bat and eye. Like this is a man who is married with a child and they’ve got him singing about vibes when I’m sure he’d have actually genuine deep songs to write about his child or sexy cute songs about his wife but instead they’ve given him a generic tagline of having ‘vibes’ with someone! It’s classic YG and it’s classic Teddy.
Second, Jimin did phenomenally on this song! This is not just my BTS bias talking here, truly, the difference between them when singing is astounding. And once again I will say no hate and that Taeyang has a very nice voice but the effortless way Jimin rides the music with his voice, changing tone and inflection to bring life to every line is graceful and a true show of musicality and just plain passion and talent. A fact that Taeyang himself noted when talking about working with Jimin.
From the smooth way Jimin sings the chorus, compared to Taeyang it is obvious YG does not encourage their artists to take risks or make changes when it comes to music and the result is the same every time, a similar song (usually written by Teddy) sung in the exact same way every time. Now I’m not saying this is a bad thing, making a hit and sticking with it is a choice and a valid one and if you enjoy the music being made good for you, but overall the music coming from YG and The Black Label is just such a down ground in comparison to the music that comes from the BTS members.
Thirdly, I do not know which parts of the lyrics and or composition Jimin helped with but if I had to guess, I’d say he composed and wrote the bridge, and maybe composed the chorus and wrote at least partially his verse. Obviously this is just a guess but we know Jimin does bridges amazingly well and the lyrics in that part about the moon scream Jimin, also some of the references like to Nam San seem like him but then the Matrix part feels like a Teddy reference since he usually likes to reference pop culture, but once again just a guess.
And Finally, I am truly impressed with the way Jimin tried new vocal tones and inflections for this song and it is making me incredibly eager (more than I already was!) for his solo work that will be coming soon because I’m curious about the direction he’ll go in, but for now to wrap this all up, I’ll say this. Vibe is a good, if not expected YG track but it was elevated and, in my opinion, saved by Jimin. Every line he sang, every time his style and voice came to the forefront it was clear who was driving this song and it was once again made clear the difference between the KPop humdrum and the choices BTS makes when it comes to music.
Congratulations to Taeyang and Jimin, Im sure Vibe will do very well on the charts and I hope they both enjoyed the process and experience.
I will continue to support all of the members together and apart no matter what and cannot wait to see what else they have planned for 2023!
Borahae 💜
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See people (tkkrs) can't just say they think tk are dating and therfore don't think jikook are dating they have to say they've never been friends and everything is fanservice and they hate each other when that's objectively untrue BE NORMAL
It really concerns me, the need to vilify Jimin as the maknae's predator or a fanservice freak or clout chaser. He is a lovely, talented, sincere human being and doesn't deserve any of that bullshit.
Frankly, there are a lot of frightening parallels between the Taekook fandom and Trumper Qanon. You can't trust authority (Hybe / government). A false narrative is being pushed for profit (Jikook / liberals). The people in power have an agenda (Kpop executives / elite moguls). Only a small merry band of rebels know the truth (Taekookers / patriots). They see all the lies (two members are forced apart all the time / pizza shops are fronts for child sex trafficking rings). But the true believers also see the hints of truth (hearing voices off camera, insisting they can see details in grainy photographs, believing third-hand accounts from "fans" / all those Qdrops online). And this bonds them all together, because only they know the truth, and everyone else is out to get them. Through it all, they just have to TRUST, regardless of evidence, and someday, they will be the heroes and everything will work out exactly as they'd hoped. This group thrives on misinformation and bullying. That's a cult. That's straight up cult dynamics. And no one has time to individually deprogram millions of followers.
If Taekook had half as much evidence of genuine off-camera bonding as Jikook, there would be no need to create obstacles to their love story--it would just be obvious. Plus, it's the most popular ship around the globe; Hybe could be making so much more bank just by making them a subunit and pushing that ship hard. They don't. Because it's fantasy. The company won't kill the idea of any ship, because they don't want to alienate fans and forever get into the bullshit, but I don't believe they manufacture intimate moments on members' downtime and then force them to talk about it during Vlives or whatever. BTS doesn't need to get sales like that. JK has straight up said Tae is his friend. Tae said it's not good to stay in your imagination, please love all of us equally. But the cult has to dismiss anything that doesn't jive with their desired narrative. So they don't trust what the members actually say or do. JK and Tae "have" to say that because they are being "forced" all this time to hide. This line of thinking shows, at heart, a deep disrespect for Tae and JK's autonomy and individuality (and also just decent business practices).
I'm sure there are lovely BTS fans out there who just prefer the Taekook ship (not just as two visually appealing men, but, who like, genuinely believe Tae and JK are in love) and they go about their days, enjoying fics and fan art and making friends online, without ever talking shit about others or harassing brands or hiring protest trucks or stalking celebrities. I'm sure they are out there. I haven't met them, because I'm afraid to get too close, because the cult genuinely scares me. Jikook is my happy place where I come to mentally relax after a battle with cancer (which I'm winning by the way, HUZZAH!!!). I don't want to wade into the middle of a war--particularly with enemies who deny facts as part of their personal identity.
But yeah, the smear campaign against Jimin absolutely disgusts me. The Kim Taehyung and the Jeon Jungkook I've been watching all this time would light those toxic fans on fire to keep Jimin warm. They both care for Jimin deeply, even when going through tough times. That should be enough. Regardless of who you ship (or don't ship), the fact that they all have repeatedly shown genuine care for each other means you don't need to put down one to lift up another. The second you do, you've lost.
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Hello can I have a male and female matchup for Arcane?
𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘: 20 years old, 5'1", Southeast Asian. Chubby with brunette bob cut hair, chocolate brown eyes, and a small beauty mark on my forehead. My style is in between soft grunge and soft punk but loves to wear Korean makeup style
𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: Muggleborn Ravenclaw with a patronous spirit of Hummingbird, an INFJ (last time I checked at MBTI test), my enneagram is 4w5 and my moral alignment is Neutral Good. I may have a slight introverted tendencies and awkward nature, I describe myself as fiery, swears like a sailor, confident, jokester, and, passionate. Religious, super talkative, sometimes hyper (because of excitement), giggly (I always laugh for stupid reasons), nerdy, actually sweet and nice though I can be aloof, intimidating, and scary when I get so angry. I tend to become really fiesty, stands boldly on what I believe (claiming myself as a realist though some of my views doesn't makes sense), and unbothered to be true to myself, clumsy, stubborn, young-at-heart, unfortunate and inattentive. I have "no bs" towards the people that I hate, sarcasam and savagery is my main language. But on the other side, I overthink a lot and cry over small things many times, small mistakes leads me to provoke me even more that sounds like a drama queen, yet recognizes a soft spot for dumb jokes, cheesy pickup lines and prefer people with a good sense of humour who see myself as equal. Chill in academics, but very competitive that manages to the top even for my dreams---I'm very dedicated on what I want for my life, and I display modesty and gracefulness towards some people that deserves respect. One notable feature about her is her multi-potentiality due to being naturally gifted in artistic fields (this includes singing).
𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: Arts, choir, poetry, karaoke, literature, history, makeup, beauty pageants, fun/deep/dumb conversations, expanding my knowledge in Christianity, documentaries (about saints), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors.
𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦: Drawing, singing, dancing when nobody's around (I'm very bad at it), sharing nerdy or opinionated thoughts, walking like a model (if I ever feel so confident), sleeping, listening to music (from rock to kpop), chatting or browsing on social media, watching videos on YouTube, making terrible jokes/puns, watching cartoons, writing, reading interesting things, and conceptualizing my artworks. I also used to study Italian language a bit
Thank you for requesting 💙
Arcane (male) I match you with.....Jace!
He finds your personality so interesting. And he loves it so much. He loves your fiery side but loves the jokey side just as much. He would love to listen to you sing (he finds it soothing). He would also love to just sit and talk to you about the smallest or biggest things. He just loves you so much and I think you both would be so good for each other.
Arcane (female) I match you with... Caitlyn!
She was immediately drawn to you because she hasn't met that many people with you personality, and she wanted to get to know you more. She would love to talk to you until she sleeps (she finds you voice very relaxing). You just relax her so much, and she feels so comfortable with you. She loves you more than anything else. I think you both would be very cute.
I hope you like it 🖤
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