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thranduel · 10 months

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some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing

when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.

BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.

you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.

apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.

that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭

but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.

obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.

aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭#also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid #he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way #especially after everything he’s been through #and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING #anyways #when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry #there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him #but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while #and i wanted to cry #he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that #honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because ->#in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself #and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time #and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready #but also #for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely #or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond #the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3 #but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy #my posts

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chuluoyi · 4 months

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Does Gojo successfully get Y/N pregnant in that one fic where their son walks in on them?👀👀 If so, what's his reaction?

HMMM👀 actually i don’t plan him to have more kids buuuut for the sake of headcanon—

the love of his life is carrying his second child? he’ll be over the moon! he'll smother you with kisses and just gets soft🥺

"i love you," he said in the softest whisper on your marital bed, and you could've sworn his eyes got a little glassy though he wouldn't admit it. "much, much more than you can ever imagine."

your first pregnancy was quite rough, with you being sick quite often. knowing that, this time gojo will pamper you even more and provide you with the best of everything. while he's away quite often when duty calls, he teaches your son to help you, but also always reminds him to immediately call him should you be having a rough time again because everything else be damned—he'll come back asap if you need him.

despite the obvious excitement, he is also worried about various things; you giving birth (the last time being quite traumatic for him), his second child inheriting his limitless again, how he is going to give his kids the best childhood while juggling his horrid job... the list goes on.

but with you by his side, he knows that everything will be alright.

#i just can see him be this doting husband for you argh😭#especially when you're carrying his baby #he feels like he owes you a debt :') subjecting you to all the pains and such #he just treasures you so much during this time <3 #—chu’s mailbox 📬#—headcanons☁️#𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠

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leverage-ot3 · 8 days

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sorry to keep personal posting but my day fucking SUCKED and ended with me dropping one of my brand new earrings from a set that I just finished cleaning down the drain, took the sink apart and still couldn’t find it 🙃

if y’all feel like asking a leverage/misc question for thoughts or headcanons I’d love to answer them in the morning! or even if you just want to say something about your day- I just like hearing from you guys 💖

#or ask me abt my lockwood & co hyperfixation/chat w me about the show #and how I have been egged on my a moot to pursue my cot3 hunger games au (I have never finished a longfic)#(was bored at lunch break and wrote a portion of the berry scene 👀)#boss still owes me more than 2.5k and has been gaslighting me and continues to emotionally manipulate me and my coworkers #and cause serious shit that triggers clients in a THERAPY CLINIC #and has started second guessing my work by asking other employees if my input is ‘accurate’#which caused a flare up in my skin picking AND latent SI #ugh sorry for rambling yall I just need to write this out yk #I need a fucking sugar mommy or something 😭😭😭 I need to get out of this mentally/financially abusive job #not leverage #ask me things #jackie talks #about me #mine #this is the worst place I’ve worked which doesn’t necessarily say too much because I haven’t had many jobs #but one of my former bosses was a [redacted school shooting] denier when we were literally 20 min away from where it happened #which still boils my blood to this day LIKE WDYM YOU THIBK THE GOVERNMENT PAID OFF PARENTS AS A PART OF A CONSPIRACY TO INFLUENCE GUNCONTROL #she would tell a new hire ‘J doesn’t like conspiracy theories’#NO [redacted] I CAN DISCUSS THEM FOR FUN IN CONVERSATIONS BUT URS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS #EAT A DICK #hmmm I wonder if I still have anger about that lol #ANYWAYS I finally got my intake after waiting 8mo for the clinic I needed to get in and will be starting therapy in a few weeks #🫡🫡🫡

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deiaiko · 4 months

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#19.3 Unravel

It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.

Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.

They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.

Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"

Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"

"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"

"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."

"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"

"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."

"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.

Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.

"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"

Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arms ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday.

Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.

Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"

"There's always a chance–"

"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."

Grace fell silent and went still.

Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"

"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"

"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.

Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."

"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.

Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"

"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.

Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."

Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.

"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."

Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.

Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.

Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.

Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."

Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.

When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.

Masterlist

Let me know your thoughts in the reblogs <3

☕ Buy me coffee ☕

#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point #I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty #like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue #writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way #I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone #Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have #also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial #maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace #because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die #not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth #that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths #so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo #but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save #Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask #see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return #tower of god #tog #two sides of the same coin fic #my fic #my art #bam #25th bam #jue viole grace #khun #khun aguero agnis #khunbam #shibisu #ship leesoo #rak wraithraiser #hatz

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tariah23 · 1 month

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Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.

#it’s not like i put the books together myself or anything all my ass did was submit my work #like this was from a really popular and well known artist as well like #their art has always been so gorgeous to me too I was like ‘I’m literally a nobody is this person really being shady or…’#rambling #I guess it’s nice being in a zine with ppl I don’t know or care to get to know at least now 😭… just submitting my art and running #referring to the jjk zine 😭 I need t start working on it uhh #zines make me feel so anxious man #it really did make me feel bad and almost guilty? I was like this is kind of awkward…#another zine I was in which was run by a mutual… well… I never even got my zine in the mail #and I even sent them $20 for some merch that they were making since I wanted to support and never got that either…#they deleted their blog but I see that they remade and draw a lot of DM and have a lot of popular posts here so it’s kind of awkward seeing #their art shared on the dash sometimes skeks #we’re still mutuals on Twitter but I don’t rly want to ask about my zine again or the $20 bucks #it’s okay like I owe other ppl stuff too I’m a late bird man but still loskekk #they were the mod for the zine too #I might hit them up again I guess I still love their art and they were always fun to talk to #there was another zine that I participated in where we had to purchase our own copy bro #i remember being so annoyed by that but went ahead and bought it anyway #I was invited to this zine so it made me even more annoyed #I #Guess it didn’t make its money back #or something like that but I remember being broke at the time and was pissed that I had to pay for my own book #I didn’t buy any of the merch because why when it was supposed to be free #if you’re participating in a zine the book and merch should be free

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good-beans · 4 months

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I saw someone else send in a sad Fuuta mother headcanon so I'll share mine!

Ok so, we know that Fuuta is 20, his mother left the family when he was really young/too young to properly remember her, him and his sister were left in their father's custody

Now the fact Fuuta and his sister were left to their father makes me feel like the mother must've had plans to date and remarry, since while there is a divorce stigma, if a person's young enough and doesn't have kids, its not actually That big a deal (kids are the biggest thing that often gets in the way of remarriage since not a lot of people are fond of the idea of raising children that aren't theirs biologically-)

Anyway, Another thing we know: Fuuta's victim was in middle school, which in Japan is ages 12-14 (probably 13-14 since 13's the minimum age to use twitter)

If we assume his mother left when Fuuta was 5 or younger, that gives his mother over a year to remarry and have a child with someone else (especially if she already had someone in mind when she left Fuuta's dad) And for that child to reach middle school age

Meaning there's a non-zero chance that the middle schooler Fuuta doxxed Could've been his half sister

NOOOO why would you do this to meeeeeee ;___;

That makes a ton of sense, though, that she would leave specifically for another man she had in mind. The thing is it wouldn’t even make a difference to Fuuta’s behavior -- and could actually have made him more motivated to harass her online 😭

Even if he spent his whole life avoiding/shunning his mother as mentioned on the other post, he’d put things together the minute he started looking into Killcheroy’s personal info in order to call her out. She probably did something small and harmful (nothing like the others’ unsanitary or sexual harassment cases), but his emotions flare up. He realizes his mother has started a new family and truly moved on from him. Although the thought is entirely subconscious, he’s incredibly jealous and angry at this girl for taking his mother away. So in his mind, she’s labeled a villain, as bad as all the others.

And he thinks, so what if it’s a little over the top? He has the right to call her out -- he’s her half-brother, after all! (He doesn’t tell anyone though, because that would bring up all the crap about his mother he doesn’t want to face.) He just goes after her and feels securely justified for it. Then, once he sees what happens…

Or, let’s just say he did go all that time without making the familial connection. He calls this random girl out for something small, and is haunted by her death. It makes that interrogation question a hundred times more painful, because the woman he’s looking to for comfort probably hates him for killing her daughter. Even if she didn’t know it was him, she wouldn’t be able to offer any sympathy if he did make it out of Milgram -- she’s grieving and he would realize the whole truth. If he is thrown back into his regular life post-Milgram, would his father want to reach out to the mourning woman? Would Fuuta have to look her in the eye? Would he go to the girl’s funeral?

Hm, and maybe that reveal happened when he was curled up, reading about the girl’s death online. Maybe he saw a picture of his mother on the news, or heard her voice in a clip, and got both nasty surprises at once.

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #thank you and OW #getting hit with double the fuuta angst today 😭#that makes so much sense about the divorce....#man.#i cant tell if it hurts more if he knows before or finds out later #and lmao i didnt know how to word it but it just feels more justified to call someone out that youre related to compared to a stranger #theres no actually reason it would give him credibility but it feels like it you know?#thank you for the ask im gonna go cry about fuuta for the rest of the nighttttt #ask

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 7 months

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LIVES WERE RUINED

#MUFFLED SCREAMING #ISJIFBDIBDKCBGKBCKXNFK #I CRIED #HIS EXPRESISON ???? MEGUMOMS VOICE ????????? they did this scene SO much justice.#THIS EPISODE ….. 😭😭😭😭😭 mappa animators i owe u all my life #GOD . GOD #he looks so so relieved T_T toji is genuinely such a heartfelt and wellwritten character i will DIE on this hill .#he spent BOTH his final moments thinking of his wife and son. like. he LOVED them. he loved them so wholeheartedly im gonna be sick #i love him sm mwah mwah . ill miss u my silly depressed middle aged man </3 #hhhhhh im just . WOW. sukuna vs jogo was also so mindblowingly amazing . ill never be normal abt this ep i fear #AND TOJIS VA .... oh he KILLED it that final yokatta ne was so SOFT #grrrrr my mind is spinning rn. i loved this ep so so so much !!!#jjk spoilers #<- just in case !

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o-wise-corvid · 5 months

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Dathomir Daily

Tunorr su nī sho thol’onzhul. (Look me in the eye.)

(Toonorr soo neye shah thahl-onzh-ool.)

This is a statement used like “give it to me straight” or “come clean”. Eye contact isn’t usually done outside of intimate relationships of family or close loved ones. Otherwise it’s seen as threatening.

Tag list: @alexeithegoat @thesitharts @crc-jedi-knight-serushna @hotshot9 @smoooothbrain @gran-maul-seizure @foreverchangingfandomsao3 @herbalinz-of-yesteryear @justalittletomato @stardustbee @storm89 @by-the-primes @ohboi @and-claudia @eloquentmoon

#general’s log #dathomir daily #dathomiri #I’ve done some work on the alphabet #added some symbols and such for oo sounds and digraphs #as well as the rr and zh sounds #aaaand I just realized I need aw and ow… 😭#ehehehe sorry I forgot the pronunciation guide

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kindahoping4forever · 5 months

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is there any hope in praying for a new kh4f writing piece? or are you officially retired 😓 i beg i plead i weep i NEED a fresh ashton one-shot like my life depends on it 🙏

Definitely not retired! I truly never meant to go this long without publishing a fic - last year was just a very weird, unbelievably difficult blur for me, the hiatus just happened and to be honest, I regret it every day.

But! Although my posting stopped, I never really stopped writing (I think my longest streak of not so much as opening a doc was about 3 months.) I've been writing much more infrequently than I'd like and with much more effort and hesitance than I'm used to (turns out going from practicing a skill every day for years to just... not doesn't do much for that skill or one's confidence 😬) but I have still been writing! Unfortunately, finishing stories hasn't been my strong suit recently and that's primarily why I haven't posted in so long. And why my WIP folder has been this stacked for the past year lol:

Some docs are just a few paragraphs long while some only need a few paragraphs to be done. I'm kind of at this weird crossroads right now where I definitely want to finish some of these fics (why let all that effort go to waste) but also I want to jump on ideas that are newer and have less baggage in my brain (it's been extremely frustrating trying to get back to where I was!). So I'm trying to navigate that while also trying to get back into the writing mindset and routine again, learning to trust my instincts again, find a way for my brain to be a comfy and fun place to hang out in again. I am determined to get there, and sooner than later this time. I feel closer than ever! And when I do, Tumblr will be the first to know. Promise. 💙

#writing became such a big part of this blog and of my life - i don't know if i could ever fully leave it behind #brains are just so so weird and mine hasn't been my fav place to hang out the past couple of years tbqh #and unfortunately that's kind of a requirement for the creative process #but i've been working hard to get over that and find my way back to the way things were and maybe even better #i cannot believe next week marks a full year since my last fic and it's been OVER a year since my last Ash fic 😭#that's outrageous and must be rectified as soon as humanly possible #i'm so so grateful to know that whenever that time comes i can count on you celebrating with me! 🥰#and i still owe you those Encore headcanons you sent me last year lol - i haven't forgotten! 😌#thank you for continuing to reach out! it means so much and i never take it for granted #💙💙💙#ask #stuckincalifornia #kh4f writing

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