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sciderman · 1 month

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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks

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moophinz · 8 months

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I’ve made a post on this already, but after acquiring heaps and reams of knowledge, I’ve decided to go at it again.

(From Mine’s TV Tropes page.)

I cannot stop anyone from wanting to view Mine as bi, and my intentions don’t lie there. But instead, I wanted to bring up that it hardly seems like the intentions of the devs and especially Yokoyama. Mine is a pretty big deal in being a heavily implied gay character regardless of having been a villain, partly due to how he’s just as masculine as his peers and his love for another man is a core part of his characterization where sympathy comes into play. On top of that, they do not shy away from heavy handed hints in his total lack of interest in women romantically and sexually.

Yokoyama is not only a non stranger to commentary on how much he loves Mine, but he’s also made remarks that imply he finds it funny that women are attracted to him though they can’t have him.

RGGO is particularly revealing about this thanks to how much room it gives to focus on character elements they couldn’t do in the actual games.

—A beach event in Okinawa has Kanda wanting to throw a party and see who between them can invite the most women. Mine is less than uninterested, but still winds up getting a few women interested in him. He can’t seem to outright reject them, but gives them very bland answers.

—This is a big trend in other Mine centric stories. Upon being asked by a woman if he’s by himself, he gives a slightly roundabout answer instead of outright saying anything more direct. He agrees to do something with her despite his ongoing lack of enthusiasm.

—As told, he’s gone on dates with women thanks to being unable to turn them down (he’s interestingly kind enough to women even though there’s some popular jokes about him being a misogynistic gay man). But if he sees a woman once, doesn’t really see them again. All in all, this is incredibly different from many other yakuza men who adore women as they slot into the three important status symbols: power, money, and women. All things that Mine brings up at the end of 3 as stuff that wasn’t really giving him any meaning or purpose in life. His line about having any woman he could want goes largely misunderstood. Especially after he ends that line with saying living life that way was a lie.

Comparing an outright love confession to Mine being thankful to have had Katase around feels almost laughable. On one hand, I’m at least glad the person who wrote this acknowledges the romantic feelings with Daigo, but on the other hand… “heavily implied?” With Katase? No… Not every meaningful statement or even so much as breathing the same air as one another between a man and woman is grounds for love.

Genuinely, it feels like they’ve done nearly everything but outright use any direct wording for his sexuality. He’s the only character they’ve gone this far with. Others get more vagueness or subtlety.

(From Majima’s)

(From Zhao’s)

I’ve talked to @04tenno quite a bit about this. And as usual, they’re the reason I know quite a bit, too.

Majima’s section is bizarre to me for immediately throwing out there that he’s a huge ladies’ man. (This was listed elsewhere in his section). Which is just… hilarious. Sure, plenty of irl female fans adore him, but in universe, he’s nothing of the sort and often interacts with women by using a more friendly tone of voice (probably to seem less intimidating) along with other behavioral changes. I also take up issue regarding the way the person who wrote this seems to completely downplay Majima and Kiryu’s relationship to the first game. But that’s a whole other conversation…

Zhao’s section feels incredibly different compared to the other two due to how the person writing it seems to completely lean into the potential signifiers and stereotypes surrounding him and includes other instances beyond that. There’s nothing about him being in a hostess club automatically meaning he’s attracted to women. As such, even a lot of dudebros seem to openly view Zhao as not being bisexual, but instead, straight up gay. This seems to be due to the fact that Zhao is never shown playing into the typical mainstream macho type stuff as opposed to Mine.

I didn’t take a screenshot, but Daigo even gets the assumed-to-be-into-women-because-he-was-next-to-one-treatment. While he went to hostess clubs, he looks so extremely despondent and out of the moment when we see him there. I can’t find it in me to assume he’s attracted to women just because he went to those types of clubs. His sexuality is totally up for debate as several others are as well. And we can all see him however we want. But, overall, immediately assuming things for such and such reasons starts to feel a little off to me. All in all, Mine gets this treatment the worse thanks to his sexuality actually being a big factor in his character.

#yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #like a dragon #yoshitaka mine #queer characters #gay character #queer analysis #sort of in a way maybe possibly #Mine Yoshitaka my favorite Daigo kisser #majima goro #zhao tianyou #I sure hope this makes sense and reads well because I always get uncertain of myself with these things but anyway #who’s going to take it upon themselves to add an entire Ho yay section #anybody? …anybody? no…?#but like I said you can see things how you want of course #it’s just kind of funny to me that some have picked up on Zhao not being excited to be in a hostess club but some others #immediately assume Daigo was overjoyed to be at them himself…apparently #maybe he’d be happy in some other instance but from what we were shown buddy boy is dead inside #also Project X that crossover game was crazy for having Majima talk to women the way that it did like bro that’s how he talks to men #women get the nice customer service voice with a side of playfulness

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mishapen-dear · 10 months

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no but im thinking about how 4halo could be together while keeping their dynamic intact. forever asks bad on a date and bad is like yeah :D friendship date. several dates later bad's the one to propose and he says "will you merry me" as in like. be merry with me. feel joy forever for we're together and we have 11 children aka all of the eggs we have forcefully adopted from the other parents and i dont know what life would be like without you. you changed my life for the better. besties 4evar, forever

#and then richarlyson falls into pieces #and dapper gets to be smug #i don't super enjoy the ship when theyre lovey-lovey but oh my god its so fucking funny to be in a relationship and just Deny it #to each other to everyone else to themselves #is that a wedding ring no its a donut #made of metal #a decoration i wear that's inscribed with my bestie's name because i just like him so much :3 #do you see the vision the vibe is queerbait themselves to Hell while being Actively Queer #more thoughtful examination of bad's character is that i think a relationship that actively rejects sincerity is what he'd be most #comfortable in #he's Full of compliments for the other players and eggs but he will Never say that to their faces. he uses sillytime and insincerity as a #shield. if he ever trusts someone to be like. close to them. to consider them a teammate like he considers dapper a teammate #then it doesn't matter what label it gets -qpp or genuine besties or romantic or another option i cant think of- i think that not #acknowledging that sincerity is the only way he could bear letting them into his heart #i don't know forever as well to give a thoughtful analysis but i think that giving him something low pressure that isn't a Romance might be #good for him too if only for the fact that his Romances have all failed p badly. better to just be silly about it yknow just joke around a #lil if it doesn't mean anything then it wont hurt #<- basic angst trope im not sure fits him but be rest assured i am Looking at him. studying that beast.#qsmp #4halo #qsmp shipping

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bestial4ngel · 6 months

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No thoughts… only edizzy la cage aux folles au

#their relationship in the movie version is just like edizzy fr to me #the codependency… the volitility at times but beneath that just them knowing eachother better than anyone else and still being in love #and it fits so well in my head too because most aus are about them owning a club anyway lmao #plot twist stede is the straight dad and like in the movie version he lowkey crushes on ed (who would be albert / albin) except its #(well… more like ‘straight’ dad)#actually for real and ed revealing he’s not a woman is his gay awakening lmfao #only thing I’m stuck on is the way that the plot requires the other parents to be homophobic but obviously stede & mary wouldn’t be #me talking #our flag means death #edizzy #izzy hands #ed teach #izzy ofmd #blackhands #it would be interesting to have izzy in the role of albin/albert too but I think he fits george/armand way more #also the jewish last name thing from the movie would be cool to incorporate since that’s a semi common hc already #ALSO !! IT HAS THE SAME THEMES / JOURNEY WITH THE MAIN CHARACTERS IMO #like ik obviously shamelessly being yourself is just a thing in almost every piece of queer media but yeah. it fits their issues well too #it would be interesting to explore izzy pushing ed to fit a certain role in this context and both of their issues with not being vulnerable-#/themselves fully and not feeling worthy of love #lmao rip to their kid tho. hope he can gain some good coping skills from stede and mary’s kid… ah wait they aren’t great at coping either #also izzy owning a gay/drag club is so val of him so I love it for that

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natsmagi · 8 months

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FOR REAL I GET SO MAD WHEN I SEE POSTS LIKE "eww why are ntsmg fans such weirdos!! They dont deserve to have natsume/tsumugi as their favs!!" Like first of all we're not hurting anybody pls let us LIVE, second of all Have You Seen the Characters in Question. Like if we're freaks then what does that make THEM!??!? If they were real theyd be the freaks ur complaining abt!!! TL;DR natsumugi loser weirdo freaks canon and im here for it. Also that alice natsume is so CUUUUTE

ITS KIND OF ODD TBH ?? like obviously i get that not everyones going to like the same stuff but like. if you dont like characters being weird, why do You then also like ntmg.......? if its someone who doesnt ship them thats complaining then fine whatever but its so weird to me when people who claim to ship them make these complaints bc its like?? then why do you ship them???? do you Only like the bits where the two of them are being sweet to each other? do you only like their angsty backstory? do you only like the comedic relief? i have a hard time grasping the idea of dedicating yourself to a pair or character without loving (or at the very least tolerating) every aspect of them........ have these people read the stories? or are they being deliberately oblivious? i have no idea

it makes me really sad how people are so afraid of being seen as "weird" though. too often that word comes with negative connotations when that doesnt need to be the case at all, and i wish these people would stop living in fear and surrounding themselves with those who judge people based off how Socially Normal (according to a christian society) they are

also i just get annoyed seeing ntmg get watered down to some idealized couple completely stripped from their complexities to better fit what we're taught is Morally Correct (according to puritanical beliefs) or reduced to a comedic duo SHDKJFHD

#some of you people really need to learn to live a little #because not allowing yourself to indulge in what you enjoy or just getting mad at OTHERS for indulging in harmless behaviour #is going to make you miserable #and i really fucking wish this shit wasnt so ingrained in todays people #because such a judgemental and reactionary attitude genuinely is harmful especially towards queer people #but thats a whole other discussion for another day #and as i always say its OKAY to be uncomfortable with things #there are MANYYYYYY ntmg artists who make things that makes me very uncomfortable so i SIMPLY DO NOT ENGAGE!#but to act like ntmg Themselves arent weird ???#and like you cant possibly understand why the fans might indulge in some weird stuff too ??#thats gotta just be projecting on your end atp #ask #btw this is about harmless self-expression and exploration via fiction and not LITERAL CRIMES #just so you fuckers dont go assuming shit because Jesus Christ the second you start being open about accepting weirdness and being weird #people automatically assume the worst shit imaginable which is so fucking insulting to literally every single human being on the planet #this post is about fictional characters being weird and us being allowed to indulge in it #do Not twist my words into Anything else.#EDIT OMG I GOT SO CAUGHT UP IN BEING ANGRY AT STRANGERS ONLINE I FORGOT U COMPLIMENTED ME #THANK U VERY MUCH!!!!! ASJHFKAJSHDG

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lockandkeyhyena · 8 months

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you've said a few times Titan is pretty homophobic, and I'm curious how she feels about Ruth.

did her opinion change any over the years since Goliath died?

what would she do if Ruth ever said she loved her?

how's she feel abt trans people

some of her bigotry is directed inwards and manifests more as self-hatred. she herself isn’t heterosexual and has a lot of complicated feelings about that, especially after goliath’s affair. i make jokes, but ruth is very openly a proud lesbian and doesn’t tolerate off-handed comments from titan (she’s probably one of the reasons hercules doesn’t hate himself more).

her queerphobia expresses itself outwardly as ignorant rather than hateful, and its something she doesn’t really consider until ruth points out her shitty behaviour. ruth is very lenient on a lot of things she probably shouldn’t be and cuts titan more slack than she deserves but she doesn’t stand for titan’s homophobia, especially around kids.

alot of her attitudes towards gay and trans people fluctuate and change alot along with the story so it would really depend on where in the timeline you put her.

tldr; its complicated.

#uhh ill tag jic #homophobia #yeen rambles #ask #sadboycats #titan beetle #i know its cliched to depict lgbt characters as being homophobic but its just an infinitely more interesting story to me than #faceless bigots #and i feel like we need more stories exploring that aspect from actually queer authors rather than straight people uncomfortable with the #thought that other straight people are homophobic #anyway. my point is i want to tell stories about genuinely awful people trying and failing and trying again to better themselves #and its been helping me work through my own shit lol #ALWAYS happy to talk about my ocs tho!! sorry this is heavier #many of the cats arent good people #if you have follow up questions please ask them! i know i didnt answer them all

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clairedaring · 19 days

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always wishing for the downfall of branded pairings in thai bls because as much as i adore seeing the same actors reuniting in a series, i want them to see different chemistry combinations or actors to reunite once every 2-3 years not like every single year ಥ_ಥ sighs this is why i always end up with personal favorite ql actors who aren't in any branded pairings (disclaimer: nothing against actors who are though) ╮（╯＿╰）╭

that being said can my gdh besties nonkul/jaylerr get a gdh film together, it's literally been SEVEN years since project s: shoot! i love you o(TヘTo).

#claire opens her goddamn mouth #friend asked me who my fave thai actors and what my fave thai series are the other day and it just hit me #actually what i want is quality stories being cast with perfect actors instead of actors molding themselves to fit the characters #you can use the versatility argument all you want but is it not crazy if you ask hollywood actors to only play queer roles with one partner #i terribly apologize anytime you see me ranting on here and it's just about what i dislike about the conventions of thai bl industry

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aq2003 · 7 months

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Too bad RTD's entire filmography is crazy biphobic. Man don't give a fck about bi representation.

while i have only actually watched doctor who and casanova and this video essay i feel kind of pretty safe dying on the hill that he does care a lot about queer rep (bi rep included) he's just, like.. unhinged about it. refuses to make it palatable. i think it's fair to say that the rep he makes doesn't resonate with every bi person or can perpetuate biphobic stereotypes but i think it's also fair to say that he did a lot for pioneering it in the first place. i never watched torchwood but if every main character's kissing a guy and a girl on screen there then like, i do think this is something that matters to him

#(the video essay was made by a bi trans woman and she talks a lot about rtd making queer rep encompassing lived experiences rather than #making it appeal to everyone.#this is why i make the assumption casanova is evil bi rep rather than a straight character. this is just how rtd writes queerness)#im not a rtd stan i think casanova has. many problems. i think his doctor who also has. many problems. even if i love it a lot #and i am not bi! i cannot speak on this topic wholly! but i am queer and i do know that his work is important #to lots of other ppl in the (bi) community. for being so messy and full of humanity and also for being the first of its kind #and i cant knock against that. and i can certainly appreciate someone like him fuckin..#going for disney's throat for making such shallow easy-to-miss rep in loki and patting themselves on the back for it

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panuccispizza · 3 months

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anti fict people are like catholic fujoshis

#you still participate in fandom and ship characters and such and literally MOSTLY ship queer things #so like youre literally a fujoshi fudanshi whatever #but like youre Catholic about it because you think you're going to moral purity heaven over policing others entertainment #but at the end of the day are you really proud of the sin you commit by being in love with your sex or do actually hate lgbt people (you do)#like every proship fujoshi i know is so open minded and full of love for everyone and even holds compassion for antis.#but every anti i know has discourse over aroace people and if its right for trans people to call themselves transsexual or like #lesbians calling themselves faggots or using he/him #you are not radically loving and accepting others when you send anon hate or death threats or doxxing people btw #you are putting innocent artists and writers and already traumatized people into therapy because theyre afraid of being hurt by strangers #literally thanks to the additude you carry which is your own catholic guilt #not to mention NONE of these people actually care about children just like the fascist conservatives you embody.#get a job you fucking NEETs

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baybeered · 1 year

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On one hand being really aggressive towards people who are misinformed about aorace stuff and so ignorant and privileged to live in their little allo bubble is counter intuitive. Nobody learns anything and if anything at all they've gotten a negative experience to justify their aphobia.

On the other hand;

I'm so fucking exhausted of you assholes fuck off and die. You can never understand what it's like to live in a world that consistently treats you like you don't exist. That hurts your fucking community and you can't do anything about it because people have decided its better to treat you as a joke or a disease that needs to be stopped. And heaven fucking forbid you stand up against other queer people for their aphobic treatment and remarks because then you're the problem, then you've slighted the queer community, you're not queer enough or your existence is "inherently homophobic/lesbophobic/biphobic."

I don't want to have to dance around your fucking feelings when I tell you this character and the experience they represent IS NOT FOR YOU. Like a child when told you can't have one singular thing, you bawl your fucking eyes out and throw a tantrum because the mere thought, the guilt of knowing that you've done something bad or that you've hurt us isn't as horrid to you as not being allowed your ships. YOUR QUEER IS NOT MY QUEER AND YOU HATE ME FOR IT.

And even those who don't actively take from us are more than happy to sit aside and let their fellows do so, there is little to no ally ship and we're all worse off for it.

Every time one of you fucks talks a character our of their aroace canon because it doesn't suit your needs, some who isn't aware of the label but can't fit in with their peers, can't fit in with societies demands is kept in the dark. I cannot express enough how important it is to keep aroace characters aroace and to talk and celebrate their queerness. I cannot express how many times I seen someone come to the labels of aromantic and asexual through these celebrations and said

"this is how I feel, I didn't know there was a word for it"

"I didn't know this was a thing! I think I might be this!"

"I'm less scared now that I know what I am"

less anxious

less afraid

You kill our community without second thought because people understanding themselves either scares you or you're privileged enough not to care.

You open the door for a queer revolution and when the A in LGBTQIA follows you in you slam in in our faces.

Go fuck yourself, allo pieces of shit, you exhaust me and I'm tired of having to explain to you what you should already fucking know. We deserve a seat at your table, and representation that holds up the full aromantic and asexual spectrums for all to see and understand even if that means its not for you because guess what? NOT EVERYTHING IS FOR YOU ♥

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theoriginalsapphic · 2 years

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Why i believe that byler is endgame (based only on what we have seen on the show). part 5

And by that, I mean: no color-coding analysis, no set props analysis, no actor interviews interpretation, no script analysis, no movies parallels analysis; nada. Only what we’ve seen on the show and nothing else.

This will use a lot of comparisons with m/leven because, despite the fact that some of you refuse to admit it, this is a love triangle.

Where do they end up at the end of season 4 and what does this mean for season 5?

So, a lot of things change during the season when it comes to these two relationships.

In the second episode of the season, Mike arrives to California. Although his encounter with El is sweet, his encounter with Will is awkward. However, during the season, we see Mike and El grow apart from each other, while Mike and Will tentatively try to fix their friendship and grow closer than they were at the beggining of the season, which is illustrated by the ending.

To talk further about it, it's necessary to discuss how these three characters feel in their relationships and the characters on their own.

how mike makes el feels

how mike makes will feel

how mike feels in his relationship with el

how mike feels in his relationship with will

El and Will and how their fathers shaped them

The show has drawn many parallels between El and Will, one of their biggest one being how they were both abused by a father from a young age, and how that has shaped their view of the world as well as their self-worth.

From what we’ve seen from El’s relationship with Brenner, he took her away from her mother, who loved her unconditionally since before meeting her, he has manipulated, made her a target against the other older children at the lab, he forced her into things she didn’t want to do (i.e: kill a cat, get her into a sensory deprivation tank to search in the upside down), he manipulated and used her over and over again.

On the other hand, we have Will’s relationship with his dad, which, even though we didn’t get to see much in the show (they haven’t even interacted!), we know he used to call him homophobic slurs from a young age and that he abandoned his family. There are also chilling pieces of dialogue (“he is good at hiding”, “he was never good at taking care of himself”) and character actions (Jonathan searching for Will in a car’s trunk) that it implies that it was very abusive situation.

However, abuse doesn’t present itself the same way, and it definitely doesn’t affect a person the same way, even when the abuser is the same person. I could write a whole mini-essay of how Jonathan and Will have the same abuser but the damage inflicted on them is very different.

To put it simply, Brenner and Lonnie messed them up in different ways.

In episode 3 of season 4, el is suffering greatly. She has lost Hopper, the first permanent parental-figure to treat like a child and not a means-to-an-end, and she has lost her powers, which has been the core of her identity her entire life, meaning she has lost her self. All the pain that she has been carrying for so long finally comes out in an explosive argument with Mike in which she reveals she feels like she doesn’t belong anywhere, that she is too different, that everyone thinks she is a monster. At her lowest point, she accepts to go to the NINA project to recover her powers, and learns more about herself and Brenner and their relationship that she had ever done before. It all culminates when El decides to leave Nevada to go to Hawkins to save her friends. When Brenner tries to stop her, she finally comes to terms with the abuse he has inflicted on her and all the other children at the laboratory, and concludes that he is the monster—not her.

El has built her worth around her powers and how much she can do with them to help others, so when she lost them, from her point of view, she was left with only the monstrous side of her. Brenner’s ambivalent love towards her based on how useful she could be to her, as well as her forced isolation of the world, made her to believe that she can never belong anywhere, that there is no place out there in the world for her outside of being a superhero. To have her say to her abuser’s face how he is the monster was probably one of my favorite moments from her, as well as an extremely cathartic one. By the end of season 4, El has finally realized her full complexity and that she is neither a monster nor a superhero. She is just a human being that was born with supernatural abilities, and is now choosing to use them for good, but ultimately, she wants to be defined beyond her powers, and she wants to be defined for who she is.

On the other hand, we have Will, who, similarly to El, has built his worth around being there for others. However, whereas as El’s is rooted on having powers and being a superhero, Will’s is based on his fear that he may be unlovable, and if he does or say the wrong thing, if he is not what people expect from him, they will leave him eventually. If his own father, one of the two people in the world that was meant to love him and want him unconditionally, could hate him, could abandon him… who’s to say that no one else will?

I don’t think is a coincidence that Will is the one that tries to keep the party together at any chance he gets (i.e: trying to keep the peace when Mike and Lucas begin fighting about who was supposed to be Vecna, how he calls out Mike for not knowing where Dustin is), and i don’t think is a coincidence either that he forgives so easily when others hurt him (because he is scared that if he loses the friends he currently has he will never have friends again), and it’s definitely not a coincidence that he tends to hide his problems even when it could put him in danger (because he doesn’t want to be seen as a burden).

A lot of people (myself included) criticized how Will indirectly confessing his feelings to Mike was used to develop a straight relationship. However, and in spite of the initial heartbreak of that scene, there was a silver lining: Jonathan listened. Jonathan, who became a pseudo-father to his own brother, probably even before their own dad left. Jonathan, who was shown throughout the series to talk to Will and try to make him feel better for being different, for liking things that other people dislike, for being a freak. Jonathan, that as soon as he had a moment to be alone with his brother, reassured him that he will always be there for him, and that he will always love him no matter what. And that, in my opinion, is what needs to happen with Will by the end of season 5: he needs to understand that he has a lot of people that will always love him and want him in his life no matter what.

Mike’s character

I honestly don’t like how some stranger things fans treat Mike as a character, or even some m/leven and byler shippers treat him, like he is seen as just something that can make El or Will happy without stopping to consider Mike as a character with his own needs and wants. (I’m not saying everyone does that because that’s generalizing and I don't like doing that, but I’ve seen quite a bit).

During the van scene, Mike opens up about his insecurities, about how he feels he is the random nerd to superhero El, how he is the lamer version of Louis Lane to El’s Superman. Usually, I wouldn’t mind a nice gender reversal of the hero/damsel in distress trope. However, in this case, it goes against what Mike wants to be: needed and special, the hero of the story.

Mike thrives on being needed, on protecting and taking care of others. In season 1, he searches for Will while he protects and hides El from the lab. In season 2, he protects and takes care of Will while he calls El in his walkie-talkie on the off-chance that she might still be out there.

It’s no coincidence that the majority of the general audience’s opinion on Mike starts to lose its positivity around season 3 and season 4, and that is because… he doesn’t feel needed anymore. At the beggining of season 3, El breaks up with Mike and spends her time establishing a relationship with Max, going shopping and trying new fashion style, reading new comics. A lot of viewers, as well as some characters in the show like Max and Nancy, call Mike controlling and tell him that El can make her own decisions, which I agree with. However, the point of this is not that Mike is some controlling boyfriend; the point is, he doesn’t know what to do when people don’t need him. In season 4, Will admits (indirectly) during his monologue that he was pushing Mike away. Although Will was trying to put some distance between them because of his feelings towards Mike, from Mike’s point of view, him and his best friend parted in somewhat good terms and then Will didn’t bother trying to keep in contact with him without giving a reason why.

The point is, Mike fears becoming unneeded to the people he loves, because in his head, being unneeded means being unwanted, means being unloved. That is the reason why, during the van scene, after sharing how insecure he feels about in his relationship, his whole face lights up when Will says that El [Will] will always need him.

He has spent too much time basing his self-worth on being what other people needed, which is why in season 5 he needs to relearn how to value himself. He can still be special, he can still be a hero (I personally believe in season 5 he will have a significant role in defeating Vecna), but first, he needs to understand that he can be loved and wanted without being needed.

end of season 4, volume 2

By the end of the season, Will confessed his feelings for Mike masking them as El's feelings and he has resigned himself to the fact that his love will never be reciprocated, and Mike gave El a love monologue.

And yet, this is how Mike/El and Mike/Will are by the end of the season.

In case it wasn't obvious enough

#byler #will byers #mike wheeler #el hopper #willel #jane hopper #this turned into an unintentional jonathan's appreciation post #the way that mike goes back and forth between will and el like a headless chicken it's kind of funny but also really #i don't think i should need to do this but just in case; i'm not bashing any of these characters #you may disagree with my opinion of them but i love these characters #it's not mike's fault he feels he cannot be himself around el #and it's not el's fault that she feels like she cannot be honest and rely on her boyfriend #sometimes people just aren't romantically compatible and that's okay #the last time i supported a queer crackship so much korrasami became canon #i can't believe that their core mike will and el share the same insecurity of not being good enough #and basing their worth on how much they can help others before helping themselves #albeit in different ways and due to different things

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sammygender · 1 year

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i have this problem where i actually really like work that dwells on like. homophobia and transphobia or whatever. to a worrying extent. and always makes its gay characters face it. and makes them meet with tragedy. like of course i detest the fact that its often/was often the only thing that exists but me, personally, i sometimes LIKE it. i find it cathartic. and besides it feels realer and rawer to me than the 20th quirky bisexual on like sex education or heartbreak high or whatever new teen show there is. theres something so much realer about so much ‘problematic’ 2000s gay representation lmfao

#controversial take maybe?#IDK. it’s just more authentic to my experience. maybe it’s just that some tv is better than other tv #like it’s probably unfair to compare shameless to heartbreak high but whatever #(have not fully seen either of those shows btw)#but. yeah in the 2000s you had like. maxxie from skins who is a walking stereotype #but i prefer him as gay representation to like fabiola from never have i ever #LMFAO. sorry. i watch too much tv and especially i watch too much bad tv #(i just like having opinionssss on thingssss)#this point is a little unrelated to my own love for deeply miserable works #like that’s just me. i like it when gay people angst forever about it and hate themselves and are victims of homophobia and undergo tragedy #cause that’s so me. that shits cathartic #like cmon i hated myself SO much for being queer when i was a kid why do all these new tv characters get to skip over this phase🙁#oliver talks #lgbt #trans #lgbt representation

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simptasia · 11 months

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it occured to me that i have a lot of bi headcanons for lost where it’s like, the character hasn’t accepted it yet. part of this is because 2004 to 2007 was somehow still having issues grappling with this concept

so i’m making a list of bi headcanons in lost, but it’s the characters who haven’t accepted it and why they haven’t yet (or ever)

internalized biphobia ahoy!

jack

he’s attracted to women so rationally he’s not gay, right? yeah he’s using the it’s one or the other logic. jack knows there’s nothing wrong with being gay. he’s just not gay. that’s fine. it’s fine. [shakes images out of his head]

also i know in my heart that christian and margo are queerphobic. not in the full on getting the belt out way but in the passive aggressive way

claire

she just assumes all straight women feel this way about women and it takes a while for it to occur to her that she’s just in a bizarre form of denial

desmond

he regards his experiences with other men in the army to be “experimenting” and he chooses not to dwell on it

richard

it just took a reeeeally long time for him to find his closet key (miles). the bisexuality was always waiting inside him, it just didn’t unlock until he was like 179 ish. and yes, miles finds this fucking baffling in a “you’re this hot and you’ve been alive this long and you haven’t been getting both kinds of ass??” way

ben

he grew up aware that queer people exist (dharma being a hippie commune) but also instilled in him that it’s weird and gross (roger). but also i think ben has a weird view of sexuality, that sexual desire makes people... weaker? in the sense that he’s observed that people act foolish for sex and love and therefore such emotions are a weakness and he’s better than that

so it’s a weird thing where ben isn’t homophobic to other people (if tom, greta and bonnie are any indication) but he is to himself. but he’s also shaming himself for having sexual desire at all. i think cuz he’s convinced himself that he’s selfless and utterly devoted to jacob and the island. sometimes he almost believes his own lies. but yeah anyways touching himself makes him feel icky, whether it’s about men or women or both so... yeah

locke

okay, locke is bi to me but i’ve always been ? about his sexuality because wow, locke feels like such a nonsexual being to me. so like does locke know he’s bi? i think so? but i don’t think he’d ever call himself that

i think if you asked, locke would say “i don’t wanna label it” or something

besides anything else, he’s an older man who grew up in the foster care system, i have to assume he grew up hearing that being queer is a Bad Thing

locke doesn’t agree but he’d rather not commit to the concept. like, maybe locke thinks being Gay would require him to do things or act a certain way rather than just be. so he’s just like “i am what i am” and stares at a sunset

sawyer

okay now here’s a bitch who actually would be homophobic, biphobic, etc. and it’s directed at himself also. he’s got an idea in his head of what gay dudes are like and no way is he like that so he’s not gay. as for being bi, i think if somebody (eg. charlie) said they were bi, he’d roll his eyes because he thinks they’re saying it for attention. “oh yeah everybody’s bi nowadays, pfft”

also i think sawyer thinks bi people, if they exist, are just people who have threesomes all the time. all the while, he is bi and he’s just making himself not confront it. and hey, even if he was, ya know, queer - not that he is - he’s giving not taking so it’s less gay, obviously. yeah, his bisexuality got all tainted by toxic masculinity. i love sawyer but i ain’t gonna pretend he ain’t got some macho posturing shit going on. and he’s canonically bigoted

shannon

making out with girls is just something you do for fun, haha it’s just silly time, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s not like Real Love, haha, your lips are so soft...

....oh

boone

a combo of not wanting to be mocked and a bad case of “it doesn’t count if”. it’s just porn, it doesn’t count because it’s not real. as long as i don’t do stuff with a dude, it doesn’t count. okay so i did stuff with a dude, but it was a threesome and a girl was there so it doesn’t count. okay okay i did stuff with a dude and it wasn’t a threesome but he never put it inside me so it doesn’t count. okay this dude put it inside me but-

and so on

(and to make it weirder, i think boone would just be gay if shannon didn’t exist. like the Wants Girls part of his sexuality only exists because of her. yikes)

anyways

assume that other characters i consider bi had issues with it when they were younger but are pretty much over it by the time of adulthood (tho charlie does grapple with it. like he’s accepted being bi in a “well, there’s no hope for me anyways” kind of way, so it’s... back handed self acceptance?)

thank you for your time

#lost headcanons #i just felt like talking about internalized biphobia today???#fiction as a form of self expression indeed #some of my own experiences were used for this #and characters like kate and charlie and the sci trio all know that about themselves #not to say all of them fully Accept it (charlie has weird feelings about it) but i mean that they Know #i dunno where the sexually repressed ben headcanons came from. i started thinking that way a long time ago and didn't let go #i've gone into how i think dan felt weird about it at first but it had nothing to do with desmond being a man #daniel faraday has achieved a zen like state of queer acceptance #the bit i wrote about shannon gets sadder the longer i think about it :(

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