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#just in case you wanted to share something and you were like 'nah dont wanna do it publicly'
genmaichafan · 4 months
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I love your mafia AU so much and could just read about it all day. Could you try writting some of the angst and trauma coming with beeing part of the mafia with the Dimitrescu sisters or Donna like a first kill or a punishment for failing à mission ?
Sorry it took so long. At the same time im sure I should’ve took another day on this but im inpatient.
Any ways story under the cut
Request story of donnas first kill. Also i hope you don’t mind but i started putting my stories on ao3
Mammina always said i was a gentle girl.
Always sharing.
Never wanting to hurt anyone.
Always speaking when spoken to.
‘Im sorry mammina. You were wrong.’
There was a newly discovered darkness in Donna's eye. The singular eye reflecting the little light the upscale bathroom had to offer. Sanguine passion splashing off the walls onto the botanist face and clothes. onto the sink and mirror.
The object of said passion resting in the tub. Whose eyes were rolled up into the head. Blood still slowly dribbling from the nose. So cold, so stiff that the Ax stood upright into the ribcage.
Donna looked at her hands. While she did not remember doing such a passion, Donna had no doubt that the crimson laqueur gloving her hands was of the ‘poor dear Isabel’.
Donna thought of ways to dispose of the body. Donna twisted the unfamiliar taps. Water ran the over her fingers, clear liquid barely washed the sins off of her deed.
Chemical solution? Nah. Fertilizer? Maybe. if she cremated the body first maybe it would be harder to trace.
not that cops cared about people like her. Or herself for that matter.
In Donna's world justice was self served and often long coming.
______
“Tell me your not scared benevento!” The kids her ‘peers’ jeered.
”i'm not scared..i just don't want to do it.”
Donna was surrounded by kids her age. Circling her they trapped her in with a boy who seemed slightly younger than her.
”chicken fight chicken fight..” the mafioso nepo babies chanted.
”i dont wanna do it!” Donna squeaked up again.
”Jerry! Here's your chance!” Jerry readied himself, not wanting to take more of this school yard bullying, and lounged forward in pin wheeling his arms around till they met Donna with full pitiful force. Bonking her a couple times before she roughly pushed him away.
The crowd quickly dispersed after, quickly realizing how boring making two ‘wimps’ fight it out was.
Donna sniveled a bit, And began walking back to her pick up spot, head not taking her eyes up from the ground. Even when the dingy car arrived. Even when her father asked her about her day. Especially when her father asked her about her day.
Gianni her father looked at her sympathetically.
”piccola” donna didn't look up at her fathers endearment.
Even though Gianni was a mafioso, he was soft. Especially for his remaining girl.
“Papa, I don’t want to play with the other kids anymore.”
Gianni’s knuckle’s whited with anguish. Hearing your child rather be alone than play was cement casings around his heart. He had to do something.
________
It was weeks later and while Donna had begun to become lonely. playing by her lonesome til it was a chore to talk to the friends that weren’t there. Donna became rapidly accustomed to books.
________
”la Mia gioia?” Gianni peaked into his daughter's plain bedroom where she was raptured by her new book.
”yes papa?” Meeting her fathers eyes.
”I have a surprise for you!”
Gianni seemed genuinely excited, and Donna could not but become excited too! Putting down her book, forgetting to take a mental note of the page.
The beneviento house was larger than average; Mostly for the basement which her father often ran his ‘operation’ in, which his fellow employees often visited to do their ‘work’.
Upon reaching the living room Donna saw a man which she recognized as someone that would come over often; only to disappear in the basement. Beside him he held a girl donnas age close to him like a prized but delicate treasure.
this reminded donna of how her father held her.
’i wonder if she like books as well!’ Donna thought. Shielding herself behind her dad a bit.
”piccola! This is Isabel!” The introduction of which caused the girl to take an extroverted step forward.
“Shes going to be your new friend!” Gianni continued, removing himself from donna way.
isabel spoke up
”We are going to have so much fun together!” Donna could not help but feel slightly betrayed if not misunderstood, but she nodded to be polite. to which their fathers left them to go into the basement.
”can is see your room?”
Isabel looked rather excited glimmer in her eyes. Donna really had no choice but to oblige.
They made their way up to Donna's quaint room. Isabel pushed past Donna inside once she was sure it was the room. Quickly examining the space.
”oh hey-“ Isabel noticed the book that had been left behind.
”don't bother reading this one, it gets so boring after tigerstar dies.”
Donna's jaw tightened from the massive spoiler that Isabel had hit her with.
______
Isabel would often come over with her father, Often multiple times of the week. Isabel wasn’t OUTRIGHT the most terrible, but over time Donnas patience wore thinner and thinner.
One time she even took home the head of her favorite doll saying she had to steal some of her mother makeup to get it back. request of which she did not oblige despite loving her doll dearly.
Isabel throwing a temper tantrum at this. In fact she often did when she could not get donna to do what SHE wanted, even Isabel had a habit of ignoring doing the same in return.
til one day Isabel DID something that was too big.
she wanted to go into the basement and see the thing their fathers did.
Donna vehemently refused. This is the one thing her father forbade her to do.
The memory of which she remembered to this day.
the look on his face scared donna, he never looked this way ever. Donna made sure to remember this.
“Oh youre such a pussycat.-“ again passing donna who actually tried to fight back, which garnered an extra shove to Donnas back.
Donna of which was described as repressed was no longer so. Raising her vice in concern for fear of getting in trouble or worse. Followed Isabel around the luckily empty lab.
”god- just shut up im just looking-“ donna could not sway her and so tried to do so with force. grabbing Isabel by the wrist.
”Isabel stop being a brat!”
The truth sent Isabel into one of her tantrums. Who violently grabbed the nearest beaker and threw it into Donna's face without thinking.
The content of which was a solution that burned the right half of Donna's face.
She fell to the ground in agony.
Isabel, turning the corner from anger into fear, called for help.
Something in Donna went to sleep in that moment.the thing that woke up turned to Isabel. angry and was not done with this argument flipped the situation and choked the other girl with a newly discovered ferocity; promptly rendered Isabel unconscious.
Isabel's father was the one that found them both.
_____
Isabels father instantly blaming donna for the entire mess.
Donna trying to explain and not being listened to.
Isabel tried to speak up, but her father was not letting her get a word in.
Her voice dribbled out the mouth, falling flat of an actual attempt to help. It was clear even she was scared of her own father.
”Gianni-“ he went on and Donna could not hold her focus on the situation.
Donna become overwhelmed. Tears swelling in her one working eye.
with her face in the leftover stinging even after being washed.
The sadness of her fathers disappointed expression.
The anger of being blamed for something that was not her fault.
The anguish of not being believed.
_____
donna did not remember much after that. Just being told to go inside. And when they next reunited minutes later, her father was physically less of a man than before. Pinky finger is no longer there to cry and go home.
_____
Donnas still blamed herself till this day for what happened. Worsened by the fact that Isabel’s father became hers superior.
worsed by the fact that he never forgave their family.
worsened..its worsened until they had to pay their family their profits.
worsened when profits slipped.
worsened when Gianni did the only thing he knew would keep his family in good graces with the Don.
worsened when it was only her and mom. The stress of which caused her to miscarry.
____
Donna often “blacked out” during stressful moments after her father died.
Often troubled by dreams of a vulgar wolf under her skin that left her screaming in the night.
Her mother, tired, did all she could to ease her daughter's spirit.
Even getting advice from an estranged friend of the ‘family’. Whom of which mentioned a psychic medium that suggested that the only thing that could calm Donnas spirit now was her father himself.
____
The table had been set in a purposeful manner before donna. The woman contracted before her with an energy that she could not quite place.
she made note of her appearance: tall and fair. A regalness about her.
the room itself was full of draping cloth, crystals and tapestries on one of which was of an angel she was not familiar with, creating an optical illusion that the woman had wings of her own.
the incense was thick; The room dim.
Regal woman not even asking what Donna needed from her.
”you wish to speak to your dearly departed father yes?”
this shocked donna.
It did not occur to donna that her mother could have just have told her before hand.
Donna being vulnerable at the time ate it up.
”oh dear your fathers coming through” pausing. closing her painted eyes tightly which gave the appearance that he was hard to ‘hear’.
”my dear beloved daughter- its not your fault. Please let go- you have great things ahead of you. You have to continue my legacy- for me.”
Donna teared up.
”you also have a guardian angel dear-“ the woman fudged
“her name.. Angie”
____
the truth of which Donna's mother had explained to the medium that Donna's mental situation was growing worse: that her hastening forgetting spells would take on a persona of a slightly younger woman who named herself Angie.
While vulgar only really came out when Donna was ‘under attack’. Even going as far as protecting Donna from those who spoke unwell in front of her. Many that needed a little soap in the mouth. out mouthed. Many that needed punches. Got their lumps.
Angie needed to protect donna. So she did.
___
Many sessions went by. Donna and the medium grew rather ‘close’ whom of which she learned the name of was Miranda,( on the occasion mother Miranda as she saw herself as a priestess )
often mostly to talk to her father who never failed to come through even once. Donna became ‘indebted’ to Miranda.
many years and ‘sessions’ past down the stream of time.
Donna became an excellent chemist and botanist. Often being buried in her work. Proud, even if it was for the mob.
It made ‘Gianni’ so called proud.
Miranda never called on her for favors once during these years. Even when she became married to the former Don. Even at the wedding. Even after Cioara was born.
she never seemed to want something from her and she appreciated that.
Until the usurpation.
____
Donna's work phone rang.
“heisenberg” it said had it been optional donna would’ve ignored it. In fact she would’ve ignored him every time he called.
If she were to describe him she would donna would say “unsavory”
so much so she could just block out the call entirely. Not remembering much but remembering one specific call that ended in him calling her a “Jekyll and Hyde.” Whatever that was.
she picked up.
”hello?”
”Donna. I need you to do something.. please.”
The familiar voice of Miranda came through shaking with a tone that she has never heard before. A desperation that caught her attention. And before Miranda said what she needed she knew she could not refuse.
”yes?”
”I need you to back me up, I need you to-“ Donna did not remember the rest of the call.
When Donna next roused.
She was not at home. In fact she was in someone else’s home: One she'd only been to once before.
This time though it was dark. The light of the moon was beaming down on her and off the blood speckled walls.
Surprisingly she did not feel unsafe.
Something in her told Donna that whatever was needed was done. It was handled.
Donna looked at the body contained in the tub.
A woman her age. As embedded in her chest, past her ribcage.
Her eyes rolled back mouth agape.
It was Isabel Rugen.
Donna found out that she and a few footmen had cleared the rugen estate that day.
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wri0thesley · 3 years
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Nat... 👉👈 since requests are open can I please request some Gojo fluff? If you need a little inspo maybe like, reader and him meet after they were abroad for a mission or something? I'm in love with this funky man and I just wanna give him kiths
sweet tooth - gojo x reader, sfw, 2.5k
the early bird catches the worm. or the cake, you guess.
(just a lot of talking about food tbh . . . i dont get to write pure sfw fluff much, thank u for letting me indulge in my jjk brainrot NFJVND. gn reader! )
You know as well as anyone how little free time a jujutsu sorcerer has. You’ve spent most of your past few years rushing around from place to place, calling it a good night’s rest when you manage to fall amongst your coverings before the clock strikes three in the morning. You think this probably has to go double for somebody in such a constant state of being needed as Gojo – but still, he’d shown up outside your room this morning, bright and early, and said; “We’re going out!”
He hadn’t mentioned that you were still clad in pyjamas, your hair still a mess about your face, eyes still sleep and shadowed. You had jumped out of bed at the knock, of course – you’re used to being needed at the drop of a hat – but there is nothing at all in the way Gojo is looking at you to suggest there’s any kind of danger brewing.
He got in last night at the same time as you, after an exorcism had dragged on longer than expected – you know this. So how is his skin still glowing like moonlight, his voice still so bright, his hair still falling over his blindfold in that effortless perfectly-styled-without-being-styled way?
If he’s slept, he’s gotten the same hour and fifteen minutes you’ve gotten.
“Not even a warning?” You sigh, stifling a yawn. “I haven’t had time to clean my weapons or anything--”
“Woah!” Gojo’s grin doesn’t fade, but he holds up his hands as if he’s trying to avoid a savage attack. “Just you and me. No curses, promise. You won’t be needing those.” He cocks his head to the side. “Unless you wanna try and take me. I think you’d lose!”
Your brow furrows. You know you’d lose, and so does he.
“Have you seen the time?” You ask him, instead. You don’t question why or how he’d gotten into the hallway to stand like this outside of the room you’re renting in Tokyo for a while. You’ve learnt after knowing him for a while that what Gojo wants, he gets – besides. If he’d sweet-talked your landlady into letting him in, you couldn’t blame her for falling for his charms.
He sticks his head into your room and turns his face towards the clock on the wall, ticking merrily away, mocking you. You had hoped, after last night, the next time you saw a clock the hour hand would be well past twelve again. He pulls back.
“Now I have.”
“. . . aren’t you tired?”
Gojo shrugs, maddeningly. Half of what he does is irritating to the highest degree – the other half makes your stomach do strange somersaults that you try and push away. Getting a crush on Gojo Satoru is just going to lead to disaster. Although at this point, you have to admit to yourself that it’s more a case of ‘having a crush’ – there’s not much denying it, when he twinkles at you like this.
“You’ve gotten a good hour of beauty sleep,” he chirps. “Not that you need it. Let me take you out!”
You’re still focussing on the compliment, slipped into his words as if it’s as simple as breathing, when he enters your room full-on and is opening your wardrobe.
“H-hey,” you say, weakly. He’s rifling through the rack without a care in the world. “I—I can dress myself--”
“It’s quicker if I do it,” he replies, pulling out one of your favourite shirts. “Here, catch--!” Your reflexes allow you to not make a fool of yourself in front of him. “The colour of that one’s pretty! It’ll look nice on you.”
You’ve had more clothes piled into your arms before you can blink. You guess that Gojo must know his way around clothes – you’ve seen some of the brands and price tags of things he wears – but you can’t help but be a little flabbergasted by just how casual he is about everything. Maybe it’s the fact that your brain is still short-circuiting after being woken up earlier than you were expecting.
He finishes and walks over to you.
“I’ll wait outside.”
“W-what a gentleman,” you manage, and he throws his head back and laughs, and the laugh feels like it lodges warm in your chest. “After waking me up, bursting into my bedroom--”
“I’ll pay for everything,” he promises. He saunters out of your room, pulling the door closed behind him, calling; “I’ll make it up to you, promise!”
You stand there for a few more moments, still struggling to process the whirlwind that is Gojo’s presence in your life – half joking, half serious, half making you think that maybe you stand a chance, when he calls through the door;
“I can’t hear you moving!”
You jump. You wriggle out of your nightwear, your cheeks heating up, as you snap back;
“You said you were going to wait out there, not that you were going to press your ear to it and listen like some kind of stalker--!”
You stare in confusion at the fancy window in front of you, decorated with swirling cursive in gold. From outside, you can see into the establishment – the white scrollwork chairs, the cake stands, the menus standing up in their pale white leather covers. The early morning sunlight from outside is reflecting off a perfectly organised display case teeming with tiny little perfectly formed cakes.
“If you were craving something sweet,” you say, eventually, “surely there was an easier way to get it than this.”
Gojo grabs your arm cheerfully, pulling you towards the entrance of the patisserie.
“Well, I got the first sweet thing I was craving,” he ticks it off with his other hand. “But then I had one of my patented brainwaves.” He elbows you. “Put them both together!”
“I’m not feeling very sweet after you interrupted my sleep,” you mumble, but you know that there’s no real bite in your words. You hope Gojo doesn’t notice the reaction that you have – you know he’d never let it go. You often don’t know how to respond to his flirting – he has a reputation, after all, and you are just . . . you.
“We had to get here early, anyway,” he says, as he stands before the counter. The man in the apron and chef hat behind it recognises him immediately, lighting up – you wonder how much money Gojo spends on expensive patisserie. Everyone knows he has a sweet tooth. “They sell out of some of the best stuff well before ten!”
Gojo knows exactly what he’s doing as he points out various desserts from the display case, the man falling over himself to get the – frankly absurd amount of sweets – carefully packaged up for him. You’re not surprised, knowing Gojo, about the cute animal-shaped cakes that he chooses, the smiling bears and cats with ears made of sliced strawberries. You’re a little more surprised by all of the fancier pieces he chooses that you don’t recognise, but you don’t have much time for dwelling on it.
Spoils in hand, you peer further into the establishment to choose a table.
“Nah, don’t worry about that,” Gojo says cheerfully. “We’ll find somewhere outside to sit. It’s such a nice morning!”
You don’t miss the grin he shoots you as he says ‘morning’, the sidelong tip of his head as if he’s waiting to see if you’ll scold him again for interrupting your sleep. You do no such thing, content to be pulled along behind him again as he goes off in search of a place to enjoy his spoils.
People just tend to be pulled along by Gojo’s magnetism, you’ve discovered – and you are, hopelessly, no different.
He finds a quiet bench in a shady corner of one of the local parks; the only other people going past occasional elderly, walking their little dogs. He pats the wooden frame of the bench next to him, smiling.
“You’re not going to make me eat all of this by myself, huh?”
“It’s enough for eight people,” you say, sighing and resigning yourself to your fate as you take the place. He’s lucky you have a sweet tooth too; if he’d brought someone else, they’d probably be shirking back in horror at all the sugar. “You could probably eat it by yourself anyway.”
He pouts.
“I want to share it with you,” he says, cajoling – his fingers hover over one of the smaller cakes, a perfect bite-sized morsel. You try not to think about the elegant lines of his fingers and the power behind them as he plucks it up and offers it to you. “This one’s really good.”
You bring up your hand to take the sweet from him, but he laughs as your fingers bounce away from him, not quite able to get a purchase.
“Let me feed you,” he says to you, and blood rushes to your face all over again.
“I—I can feed myself,” you say, swallowing thickly. Gojo’s smile, on full, sculpted lips, makes butterflies crash into one another in the pit of your stomach.
He brings the treat to your mouth and he’s right, it does look really good. It’s a neat little roll cake, small in Gojo’s fingers, with the green colouring so many sweets you’ve eaten in Japan have been – you hope it’s not matcha, knowing the flavour will surprise you and Gojo will probably laugh, but you open your mouth in defeat and let Gojo pop it in there. His fingers linger a little too long against your lips, his expression fluttering so quickly you don’t quite catch it.
If you didn’t know better . . . you’d say that he had just fought back a blush.
“Is it good?” He asks, and his voice sounds a little strangled. You bite down on the cake, the juice of the strawberries coating your tongue – it is matcha, but the flavour is offset by the sweetness of the vanilla and fruits, and you’re glad about it. You nod enthusiastically, and he laughs.
“I told you!” He taps your cheek. “I know what I’m talking about!”
“You’re so smug,” you tell him, unable to hold back the laughter that’s bubbling out of you. Alright, maybe he woke you up too early and maybe he’s dragged you outside and maybe he’s been haunting your daydreams for months now, but . . . you think he means well. And you can’t deny that the sun is shining and the cakes are really delicious.
“If you were me,” he says, stretching out his arms over the back of the bench, “you would be smug too.” You shake your head at him, but he has a satisfied smile on his face. “Feed me one!”
“Are you going to let me?” You ask. “Or are you just going to bounce it away with your Infinity to make fun of me?”
You hover over the selection yourself, considering what to choose for him. In the end, you go for one of the mini slices of mille crepe cake, reasoning with yourself that even if it’s unusual to be eating so much cake this early, at least crepes are a traditional breakfast. Gojo obediently opens his mouth wider as you lift the slice.
You falter.
“You really want me to feed you?” You ask him, unsure. He laughs, grabbing ahold of your wrist – you almost start as he takes a bite from the treat, his lips tantalisingly close to your fingers. Another bite, and the cake is gone (you’ve never seen slices of mille crepe so small – but then again, judging by the eye-watering amount Gojo paid for his spoils, you’d never be able to afford to buy from a place like that).
“Mm,” he smacks his lips together. “It’s good.”
You swallow, noticing that there’s a smear of the cream between layers at the corner of his mouth. Gojo notices you staring, and quirks his lips into a smirk. “You’re staring,” he says. “I know I’m gorgeous, but--”
“You’ve got . . .” You say, awkward, motioning to his face. Somehow, it feels too intimate to lean forward and dab it away yourself – he’d asked you to feed him, after all. If you did it of your own accord. . .
“Huh? Oh,” He moves one of the arms casually draped over the bench to his face, and you think he is going to wipe it away – but instead, he hooks his thumb under his blindfold, pushing it up casually so the light hits the swirling colours in his eyes.
You’ve seen them before, of course – you’ve seen Gojo at work, after all – but they’re still a surprise, a bright moment of swirling starshine dropped on you when you’re least expecting it. Your stomach does that flip-flop again, the one that you try so hard to ignore – but when he’s looking at you like that, curious and smug all at once, you don’t really know how to handle it.
You’re glad you’re in a secluded spot. There’s nobody to see the embarrassing display of you not quite knowing what to do with yourself.
“You can get it,” he says to you. “I don’t mind.”
“I—”
“Look.” His other hand rises, cups your face, thumb ghosting across the same spot on your cheek that he’d tapped earlier. “I left icing sugar on your face. I’ll get that, and then we’ll be even.”
(Did he do that on purpose, you wonder? You wouldn’t be surprised.)
Your hand is trembling as you reach for the cream. You try and force your fingers to be still as you lean in closer to him, eyes concentrated, as you wipe the little splotch of cream from his mouth. You’re so close you can see galaxies in his eyes, the fan of white lashes, the way that his throat bobs when he swallows as if he’s nervous--
Nervous? Gojo? That can’t be true.
“I got it,” you breathe, though you don’t move. Your faces are so close together. You could lean forward, just a bit, and meet his lips with your own. Gojo’s eyes stay trained on you, not faltering in the least. His thumb is still on your cheek. Your own finger hasn’t moved from the corner of his mouth.
“Wanna know what it tastes like?” Is that a falter, in his voice? You’re stuttering all over the place, but Gojo--
“I’m not gonna put that in my mouth after it’s been on your face,” you tell him, without moving. Your heart is beating ten to the dozen. Gojo’s eyes crinkle at the corners.
“That’s not what I meant,” he says – and he breaks the distance himself, and suddenly he is kissing you. The hand on your cheek cupping your face into his, the other hand going about your waist, holding you tightly against him like he’s been wanting to do it since the moment he woke you up that morning.
(The mille crepe cake is delicious, you find out, from the lingering taste on his lips. Next time you two go there in the early morning rush, Gojo buys two slices.)
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ameliasdefend · 3 years
Text
3 AM
Hey! So im new around here, and lately Ive been reading amelink fanfics, and I got inspired to start writing fanfics again after 2 years. My writing skills are reaaaallly rusty, so I dont know what this is, but I do hope you guys will enjoy it<3
Written in Maggie and Winston’s POV, set shortly after 17x06
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maggie Pierce’s laughter broke the silence of the deathly stillness of the night in the city of Seattle. It was 3 am, so the streets outside of the house she shared with her sisters, was awfully quiet. Her boyfriend, Winston had just cracked a joke that made her burst into a laughing fit, cracking the serenity of the atmosphere.
“You’re going to wake up the entire neighborhood!”, Winston teased, trying to hold back his own laughter but to no avail. They came from the hotel Maggie was living at temporarily to get some stuff from her room. Since the pandemic was still showing no signs of slowing down, she might have to stay at the hotel longer than expected. She was not complaining though; since Winston’s unexpected arrival, nights in the hotel were not as lonely and depressing as before.
Maggie took in deep breaths to calm herself, and her laughter eventually ceased.
Grinning at her boyfriend, she led the way onto the pavement of Meredith’s house towards the front door. “We’ll be in and out. Don’t make any noise, or you’ll wake up the kids. Amelia will kill us.” Maggie whispered in a serious tone.
“Oh, so now you want to be quiet?”
Maggie rolled her eyes and lightly slapped his shoulder, feigning annoyance. “You’re the one who made me laugh.” She said as a matter-of-factly, earning a chuckle from Winston.
“Now hushhhh.” Maggie unlocked the door, turning the knob slowly, and carefully pushing the door open. The living room was dark, as expected. It was 3 am, so everyone must be asleep.
Or....not.
A familiar sound of soft giggles floated from the brightly illuminated kitchen. Maggie turned to look over her shoulder at Winston who was arching his eyebrows— a questioning look painted his face. He then frowned his brows and started sniffing the air. “Do you smell that babe?” Maggie took a long wisp of the air, closing her eyes slowly as a sweet-smelling aroma filled her nostrils.
“Is that chocolate?” she whispered, making her way towards the source of the good smell, Winston trailing behind.
Upon entering the kitchen, she gasped. “Since when do you guys bake??” Maggie exclaimed in shocked as the scene in the kitchen unfolded in front of her eyes.
Her sister, Amelia, clad in a yellow apron, with her shoulder-length hair tied up in a messy bun, was spooning what looked like a very creamy, fudge-y chocolate cake into her boyfriend’s mouth. They stood behind the kitchen island, of which the surface was heavily powdered white with flour, occupied with baking trays, milk cartons, pieces of chocolate bars, and several other baking tools Maggie has never seen anyone use in this house.
The couple paused their movements and turned to look at Maggie, whose face was in utter disbelief.
It would have been a rather funny sight, if not for the absurdity of the whole scenario, with the spoon of cake that Amelia was holding in Link’s mouth, their chocolate smudged faces, and their puzzled expressions from being interrupted by Maggie’s dramatic entrance.
“Um... hello to you too,” Amelia said amusingly as she turns her gaze back to Link and finished feeding him the bite of cake. She took a napkin and lightly dabbed away the chocolate smudges on the corners of his mouth, smiling gently up at him before facing Maggie once again.
“What are you doing here?” Amelia let out a small laugh.
“We came to get some stuff from Maggie’s room”, Winston, who had been silently watching the sisters’ comical exchange replied.
Amelia’s eyes snapped towards him in surprise. Her attention had been focused on Maggie that she hadn’t noticed his presence.
Noting her surprised look, Winston realized that this was the first time they met in person. He offered her a smile, placing his hand across his chest and bowed slightly, the new ‘handshake’ in the Covid era. “It’s nice to finally be able to meet the two of you in person.”
Amelia smiled back; a sheepish grin etched across her face. “Likewise.” Her eyes scanned him from top to bottom, making him feel a little self-conscious and awkward. When her eyes met his again, she let out a light chuckle. “Welppp, you’re way hotter in person. It’s a wonder how Maggie could do the whole long-distance thing. I could never.” Winston wasn’t sure whether to laugh or not, so he ended making eye contact with Link.
“It’s true.” Link nodded, swallowing the cake in his mouth. “Here, wanna try some cake?” Link nodded his head towards the cake in front of him. Winston couldn’t help but smile at the easy-going nature of Amelia and Link. Although he didn’t really know them yet, he could tell that they were very warm and light-hearted people.
“Did you guys really bake that yourselves?” Maggie asked, still curious as to how this baking session came about. She rounded the kitchen table, coming to stand in between Amelia and Link, and facing the perfectly round-shaped chocolate fudge cake. She bent down so her eyes were leveled with the top of the cake. “It’s perfect...” she muttered, examining the cake closely.
“Maggie, it that shocking that we can bake?” Amelia asked her sister, pursing her lips in mocked annoyance.
Maggie straightened herself, her eyes still on the cake which looked too good to be true. “I mean, kind of.... but only because you’ve never baked before.”
“It was an impulse decision. We thought of doing something fun and since Bailey’s birthday is coming soon, baking a cake seemed like a good idea.” Amelia explained. “Want some? It’s really good.”
“No thanks”, Maggie replied, shaking her head. “I’d love some but maybe later… when the sun is up. It’s 3 am, why are you guys even baking at this time?” she asked, looking from Amelia to Link.
“The kids are asleep, so we get to do what we want without their strong tiny arms dragging us away for something.” Link told her. “They’re monsters in disguise as cute little humans,” he muttered, before spooning another bite of the cake. Amelia just nodding in agreement.
Maggie moved from between them, rounding the table again to stand next to Winston, “Well then, shouldn’t you guys be getting some sleep?”
“What even is sleep?”, Amelia and Link said flatly together. They locked eyes, amused at their synchronized answer. A small chuckle coming from both sides.
She knew her nieces and nephew can be a lot, and on top of having to care for a new-born, Amelia and Link were sleep-deprived. And yet, they were baking, and laughing at the wee hours in the morning. A-dork-able. Maggie felt a small smile crept onto her face, as she observed how happy her sister was. If she knew Amelia at all, deep down her heart was aching for Meredith and maybe her mind was spiraling with constant fear and worry. And if that was really the case, it didn’t show. At least, not at this moment. All Maggie saw was her bright smile, and loving eyes as she looked up at Link.
With the way they were looking at each other, Maggie now felt like she and Winston were third-wheeling on them. Before they could start kissing or getting all gushy feelings, Maggie turned to Winston, motioning for Winston to follow her to the stairs. “Well, we’re heading upstairs. Enjoy the cake,” she called over her shoulder, but she was certain they weren’t listening to her anymore.
As they tiptoed up the stairs, Winston whispered into her ear, “They look happy.”
“Yeah...” Maggie whispered back, a wide grin slowly forming on her lips. Her mind wandered around, thinking of how happy Amelia was…
“Do you think we’ll ever get on their level?”, Winston’s playful voice interrupted her blissful thoughts.
“Nah, I don’t think so.” She teased.
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haikyuuscreaming · 4 years
Note
hello!! can you write something fluff with kenma, please? some friends to lovers if possible. loving your blog 💕💕
OH SHIT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG SDFSDFJKD this is. 3.5k words roughly and im so sorry idk why my fics always come out longer than 1k words :(((
The first time you meet Kozume Kenma, he’s hiding behind the wall that is Kuroo Tetsurou and you’re both in your first year.
“Oh?” The Nekoma volleyball captain stares you down in the Chem class you share with him. “You’re [Surname]-san, right?”
“Yeah,” You say, never breaking eye contact with him but secretly eyeing the quiet boy behind him. He’s your classmate in a few other of your periods, but not this one. This class is an advanced Chemistry class, placing you conveniently with the second-years and a handful of equally smart first-years. “I need help with the homework and you’re my best bet. Could you help out?”
Kuroo narrows his eyes at you, which you don’t exactly appreciate but you don’t say anything. “You sure you don’t want me to just give answers?”
“I kinda need to understand this to pass the class, so no thanks.”
He hums in approval, like you’ve passed some test, and nods. “Sure thing. I wanted to teach Kenma this anyway.”
Oh, that’s his name… you think to yourself, and you noticed the mentioned Kenma doesn’t look up from his Nintendo Switch, even at the mention of his name. You watch Kuroo turn around to his companion, coercing him, “Kenma, get up, we’re learning Chem.”
“Can’t we do it later?” Kenma’s voice doesn’t hold anything akin to bitterness or complaint- it’s kind of devoid, actually, in a soft and cute way- and you try to tune out the sound of Kuroo scolding him but he’s so loud when he’s right next to you.
“C’mon, we’re about to go home now, we can stay after school a little longer. Plus, we get to teach this lovely lady about nuclei.”
“I’m right here, you know,” you roll your eyes lightly but before you know it, you’re defending Kozume-san. “We can always work it out, um… I dunno, maybe over lunch on Sunday? I mean, it is Friday and this thing’s due Monday and… we can have more fun studying this if we have food.”
Stupid fucking Kuroo only grins. “Oh, so you’re asking me on a date? Kinda bold, if I don’t say so myself, kouhai-chan.”
“Kuro, stop.” Kenma speaks up and his quiet voice somehow speaks volumes. “We can meet with her on Sunday to do it.” And just like that, he retreats to his Switch without another word.
Kuroo turns to you and shrugs indifferently, contrasting his previously provocative and shitfaced attitude. “The man’s laid down the law. How’s boba on Sunday sound?”
The second time you meet Kenma is on that promised study session.
He has inconspicuous earbuds in, his face illuminated by the glowing light of his DS. He has a DS, too? He still looks cute.
And there’s Kuroo of course, but he’s irrelevant to your case unless it has to do with your god forsaken chem homework.
“You want me to go order some drinks next door?” Kuroo quirks an eyebrow. “My treat.”
“Just a brown sugar milk tea, thanks,” You tell him gratefully. Thank god for men and their dead sense of chivalry.
“No boba? You’re crazy.” Kuroo scrunches his nose at you and you wish Kenma would start talking so you could avoid this big, annoying cat. “What about you, Kenma? Your usual?”
“Yeah,” is all Kenma says.
“Alright, see you nerds later,” Kuroo practically sings out, patting both of your heads like an old man, and takes something from Kenma that you don’t quite catch, but it makes Kenma glare at him.
As soon as Kuroo’s out of sight, you find it a little awkward to keep conversation with Kenma especially with his whole gamer complex, but-
Oh.
Kuroo took Kenna's DS.
“Kuroo-san’s pretty bothersome, huh,” you sigh out in an attempt to stir conversation. Lucky for you, Kenma goes along with the conversation without fight, his eyes peering over you like reflective pools of honey.
(They’re really pretty, you think.)
“Yeah,” Kenma slouches down a little bit more in his chair at the mention of his taller friend. “He’s kind of like my second mom… but not really. Always nagging me to do things.”
You laugh at his solemn, depressed answer. “It’s fun to have him around, though, right? He’s kind of funny sometimes-- the rest he’s annoying-- and he’s decently smart even though I’m pretty sure he’s got, what, three braincells.”
To your unprompted delight, Kenma laughs softly at you poking fun of Kuroo, and the conversation between you and him starts piling up into more, and more, and it all feels so short. You don’t even notice Kuroo coming back and hovering over the table.
“Eh? You and Kenma getting along without me? What a shame, you know. I really do get third-wheeled.” Kuroo lets out a wistful sigh akin to an old man and sits down, drinks in hand. “So, who’s ready to study?”
The third time you meet Kozume Kenma, it’s at your mall’s arcade.
You and your friends are playing one of those claw machines, trying to get that really cute Miku figurine and those adorable plushies, wasting all your coins on these sucker games like the dumb teenagers you are. But a glimpse of familiar, two-toned hair catches your eye.
“Hold on,” you tell your friends who’re still busy trying to get that stupidly gorgeous Sakura Miku figure. “I’m gonna be right back.”
You wander your way to the familiar head of hair, and gratefully, your instinct was right. “Kozume-san? What’re you doing here?”
Kenma practically jumps at the sound of your voice, turning around, eyes wide. “Oh. I just got lost from the team. You’re here too?”
“Mhm,” You smile, pointing at your screaming group of friends. “My friends and I are here just to chill out and have fun. You can hang with us if you want!”
He shakes his head, his hair gracefully framing his face. “Nah, I’m fine, thanks.. I’ll just hold out until Kuro sniffs me out or something.”
You furrow your brow- geez, this kid’s gonna get lost so fast-- and you gently clasp the phone he’s holding in his hand. “Can I give you my number? I’ll pick up immediately if you ever call, just give a ring.”
You fail to notice the surprise that flits over Kenma’s face, but he reluctantly hands you his phone and you tap in your number quickly. “See you around, Kozume-san. Don’t get into trouble.”
And Kenma smiles on his own accord, his face lighting up softly like a lamp under moonlight. “You too.”
The fourth time you meet Kozume Kenma, he’s at your house working on an Japanese Lit assignment.
“Oh? Kozume-kun!” You’re pleasantly surprised when your teacher pairs the two of you up. “Nice to talk with you again.”
“Yeah, “ Kenma blinks a little awkwardly and he shyly grins, which you find even more stunning than it already is because he’s usually held up such a calm, unaffected facade. “Uh. So do you want to meet up at… your house for this? So we can do the project.”
“Oh, yeah,” You wave dismissively, beaming at him because this is your chance to get closer with him. “My little brother’s a nuisance, though, so he might bother us. I hope you don’t mind?”
“No problem.. you can text me the address, because… yeah.” You find it cute how Kenma doesn’t want to mention that the two of you have been texting a lot more lately, and the slightest blush tints his cheeks.
“Of course!”
Flash to your house, the two of you are on the floor, slaving over a giant posterboard with paint and art supplies scattered about.
“I hate making movie posters, it’s so tiring…” You groan out, trying to paint Yukio Mishima’s face with the utmost care. “And this book’s so creepy… why would we wanna make a poster of it? He commits seppuku!”
Kenma grins a little bit and he looks really cute, with his hair tied up in the back and his gaze focused on the painting at hand. “You’re so easily grossed out.”
“But he made it so detailed! You're immune ‘cause you play all those gross horror games.”
He laughs quietly, and you think you're going to heaven. “You couldn't even handle Ao Oni, stop.”
You scowl at the mention of Kenma’s dumb horror games. “He’s this weird deformed grape, okay?? It was kinda scary!”
The two of you end up nowhere near finishing your poster, and you collectively decide to put it off for maybe another day. The rest of your day is spent-- c-cuddling? (no hetero, you reassured Kenma, although you were thinking otherwise)-- and playing more horror games, much to your chagrin.
(But it gave you a reason to hug Kenma tighter.)
You can’t even count the amount of times you’ve met up with Kenma now. You’re in your second-year of high school now and your bond with him as only strengthened.
He invited you eventually to walk to school with him, along with Kuroo, and you find out that it was Kuroo’s coaxing to do so. But you’re still delighted that Kenma agreed on, what, the second time Kuroo nagged him about it?
You and Kenma have gotten fairly close. You’ve vented to him, cried to him, he’s shown his emotional side, too. You’ve even gotten a little closer to Nekoma’s god, Kuroo Tetsurou (to which your friends always complain about- “you can’t take all the cute guys for yourself”). But, in your opinion, the most important part is that you’ve been getting closer to Kozume Kenma, who you once thought would always just be the quiet classmate to you. Who would always be your unattainable, close-guarded crush.
"Kenma!” You yell out, rushing over to him with your backpack practically bouncing off of you with each step. “Wait up, would you?! How do you get out of class so quick??”
 "I was waiting for you either way,” Kenma mumbles and hunches his shoulders together. “Do you wanna go to my house? I have new games and Kuroo won't be bothering us.”
“Can’t we get snacks first?” You know you sound a little bit whiny, but you’re hungry as fuck, and Kenma’s smiling either way.
“I guess.. you’re paying, though.”
“That isn’t fair at all!”
Eventually the two of you walk to your nearest 7/11 and get chips and snacks before leaving promptly, with you holding your chocolate milk and Kenma sipping apple juice. The walk to his house is full of conversation, Kenma equally engaged as you are. But as soon as you arrive at his front doorstep, the hollow noise of an empty apple juice box makes its appearance.
“You drink your juice too fast!” You tease Kenma lightly as he frowns, unlocking the door.
“You just drink too slow,” he replies and shoulders the door open. The two of you make your way inside and flop onto the couch, Kenma crouching near the TV to boot up his newest game. “Damn. I’m still thirsty, too.”
“Language, Kenma,” You chide him, throwing a pillow at him as soon as he sits down next to you on the couch. “And-” it takes every ounce of your willpower not to turn bright red. “-do you want some of my chocolate milk?”
The silence that follows is very short (probably only, what, a second or two?), but it feels like hours of painful quiet. Kenma blinks at you and the pink that dusts his ears becomes more and more prominent each second.
“Yeah… sure,” Kenma finally says and you beam so wide that you’re sure not even the sun could battle the brightness of your happiness right now. You hand him your nearly untouched chocolate milk and his fingers brush against yours as he takes it, sipping at it cautiously like he was afraid something would happen.
(Oh my god he’s so cute.. he looks so cute… he’s drinking my chocolate milk!! He’s so-)
“Oi, Kenma! My mom told me to pick up some tomatoes from y-” The door bursts open to reveal Kuroo Tetsurou.
You freeze, since Kuroo just witnessed you passing a chocolate milk box to Kenma and the latter sipping at the straw. Kenma kind of flushes, his mouth still wrapped around the plastic straw with chocolate milk halfway up.
“Eh? Sharing drinks now?” Kuroo tsks and shakes his head, a smirk gracing his stupidly arrogant face. “You know, you two could get mono. Or any other communicable diseases. Kinda risky, you know?”
“Kuroo, stop!” You’re wildly embarrassed to be caught in this not-so-platonic situation (in your opinion, at least), before Kuroo lets out a hearty laugh.
“You know, that’s an indirect kiss!”
“Didn’t I say stop?!”
“Ah, youth. Indirect kisses! You put your mouth on the straw, then he did. Romance at its finest!”
You know, deep inside, Kuroo just likes to rile you up, but you still bite the bait. “Kuroo, shut up, please??”
And Kenma speaks up for the first time during the whole banter. “Kuro, the tomatoes are on the kitchen table. Go.”
The Nekoma captain quirks an eyebrow before shrugging and heading towards the kitchen. “Thanks. Don’t do anything risky.”
“Kuroo!”
You and Kenma awkwardly glance at each other-- you note he’s still sipping your chocolate milk-- and eventually he stands off to ward Kuroo off (who keeps chuckling for no goddamn reason).
You two are alone again, and his burnt-gold eyes stare into yours.
“Did Kuro bother you?” His ears are still pinkish, but you notice that he’s still comfortable, although you can see a sheen of sweat starting to form on his face.
“Nah... “ You force your voice to stay level. “Why does he keep doing this?? God, he’s so annyoing sometimes… it isn’t like- it isn’t like we’re dating or anything.” God fucking damn stuttering.
Kenma’s eyes widen for a fraction of a millisecond, and you almost miss it, before he clears his throat. “Yeah. Not like that at all.. let’s just go back to playing.”
The atmosphere morphs into the usual, playful one that is held between the two of you, and you’re becoming proud of how much better Kenma is at redefining conversations and shifting the mood whereas in the beginning he would struggle in topic changes.
You’re so proud of him.
(And you’re kind of in love with him.)
You have a group chat with Kuroo and Kenma, unsurprisingly.
It’s, what, midnight on a school day, and the three of you are texting. Kuroo offers a game of ‘truth or dare’, and you accept out of sheer boredom. Plus, dares are so much easier to do online because you can fake nearly anything.
kuroo >:/: kenma truth or dare
kenma :): i’m not playing
YOU: yea you are !! ur not getting out of this
kenma :): fine
  don’t say anything stupid though
kuroo >:/: so whats it gonna b???
Kenma takes a good ten seconds to respond.
kenma :): truth.
kuroo >:/: you got a crush on anyone?
YOU: oooh spicy
kenma :): kuro why
Your heart races a little bit at the comment.
YOU: oh? kenma i thought we were besties :(( why wouldnt u tell me
kenma :): it isn’t that….
  kuro you already know why are you asking me that here
kuroo >:/: for my favorite kouhai [name]-chan
YOU: fuck off kuroo we all know im ur fav bc i pay for ur boba
kuroo >:/: fair
You get impatient with Kuroo’s mindless banter, so you end up texting Kenma privately.
YOU: so who is ur crush????
kenma :): why do you assume i have one
YOU: i mean….u wouldve denied it if u didnt have one?
He leaves you on seen for two minutes and you’re about to text him and complain but his reply shoots back.
kenma :): it’s you
And your heart doesn’t skip a beat. No, it just beats even faster.
The blood is rushing to your face, you can feel it, and a smile tugs at your face subconsciously. Your brain’s running a mile a minute, and you’re so outrageously shocked and unprepared that the aftermath of it all hits you just about a minute later.
(What if he’s lying? What if someone made him say that? What if-)
YOU: fr?
YOU: kenma dont mess w me
kenma :): i’m not
kenma :): you wanted to know so yeah. it’s you
kenma :): i like you and idk kuro says it’s “more than just like” and maybe he’s right
kenma :): see u at school tmr
YOU: WAIT KENMA COME BACK ???
You cute little rat, you seeth internally, happiness still radiating off of you. Is this a dream? Oh my god. Kozume Kenma likes me.
… Kozume Kenma feels the same way I feel about him.
The next day, you anxiously wait for Kenma at your doorstep. You even woke up early and had gotten ready as soon as you could, just so you could catch Kenma ASAP.
You slept surprisingly well, despite your anxiety from Kenma, and your body was filled with energy. You check your phone every two minutes, glancing at his ‘good morning text’ and praying for another one.
kenma :))): gm i’m still walking to school with u if you want… i’ll pass by your house just in case
YOU: oh!!!! yea id love to walk to school w u :))
Silence fills your ears as you anxiously pace back and forth from your doorstep to the curb of your neighborhood. You can’t help but worry as your gaze flits across every house, begging for a sign of Kenma.
(What if you’re too late, you realize in panic. What if your efforts weren’t enough?)
But then the sound of quiet-paced footsteps snaps you out, and you look up to see Kenma, standing in front of your house, an adorably shy expression painted across his face.
“Kenma!” You hate how your voice comes out kind of squeaky and high-pitched but you don’t care right now. You practically launch off of your doorstep and bound toward him, settling by his side.
He gives you a shy, adoring look but you can see the anxiety in his eyes as he points forward in the direction of Nekoma. “We can talk while walking, right?”
You smile breathlessly and your fingers brush against his. He smiles at you, and you notice the same pink dusting his ears like when he was sharing chocolate milk with you.
Two hands intertwine and the conversation begins.
You’re in your third year of college now, out on a “boys (and girl) night out”, as Kuroo deemed it.
Kenma’s got it well-made for him, striking good on his company to which you supported him through the entire time, and Kuroo’s on his way to be the scientist he’s always dreamed of being even as a nerdy-jock kid. He claims he’s practically a professional volleyball player, too, just on the side, but both you and Kenma know better.
You and Kenma have been dating ever since your second-year in high school. Which makes it just about… four-ish years now that you’ve been dating.
(Kuroo claims that in your first-year, you and Kenma were basically dating each other spiritually, but you pay him no mind.)
The three of you are out on the beach on an autumn day. It’s pretty empty, despite the warm evening sun that casts a golden shine on the sand and ocean, so you’re all making epic sandcastles in peace.
“We should make a moat,” Kuroo says, already digging out a ring around the lopsided sandcastle.
“We haven’t even finished the castle itself!” You protest, pushing him lightly as you use your other hand to pat down the base of the castle.
Kenma packs sand into a small bucket and delicately places it on top of the half-finished sand “castle” to make a tower. You find it cute how he’s the only one putting in decent effort, so you help him out by packing in another bucket of sand. “Kuro would be a terrible architect,” Kenma comments.
“You right, you right,” You sigh out while Kuroo squawks in protest. Kenma leans on you, out of instinct you think, and you kiss the top of his head gently. Kuroo covers his eyes and complains about his youth and young love before Kenma haphazardly bumps into you. Which leads to the sand castle collapsing.
“Ah- Kenma!” you cry out in panic, sweeping the sand together in a half-hearted attempt to piece it back into a cohesive castle. “Be careful!”
“No, look,” he says quietly, a small smile gracing his face.
“You worked so hard on the base too, to make it big and flat- oh?” You sit up a little bit when you see a small velvet box in the middle of the sand pile.
Kuroo gasps very loudly and you stare at Kenma in shock.
Oh my god. What’s happening, what’s happening, oh my god-
You slowly reach out for the box in the middle of the mess and take it delicately, brushing off the sand clinging to it. Your fingers pry it open with shaking fingers and you feel Kenma place his hand on your arm gently, his gorgeous honey eyes staring at you. The same honey eyes you fell in love with.
You're also in love with the gorgeous, sparkling amber ring that sits in the middle of the cushioned box.
“[Name]. I want to be married. To you. Will you marry me?” Kenma’s voice is soft and sweet but you know with the convincing sureness in his voice that he’s been practicing this line for at least a month and he’s become confident in it.
You start crying immediately (god damn it, you think to yourself) your heart blooming with joy and your entire body feels like it’s about to explode of pure happiness.
You kiss him, full on the lips with tears streaming down your face and he kisses back, his arms wrapping around you and you realize he’s crying too. With the possibly happiest voice you’ve ever used in your life, you cry out, “Of course I will!” on the beach with Kuroo clapping in the background.
Two years later on that beach, you two become the happiest couple on Earth.
196 notes · View notes
Text
Joe & Ronnie
Joe: Hey
Joe: my flatmate has some work I reckon your mate might be interested in
Joe: but it’ll sound a bit dodgy coming from me so you wanna pass it along?
Joe: moneys alright for no real work, depending on how you look at it
Ronnie: never done any work as a secretary myself
Ronnie: write your own fucking love notes
Joe: I see that
Joe: your accent down the 📞?
Joe: no cunt here’d understand you, never mind the demeanour
Joe: yeah, well, it’d really seem that way
Joe: but I actually need someone to take her off my hands
Ronnie: racism as foreplays playing to the wrong crowd hes more into homo bashing
Ronnie: errr dunno how you read his demeanor mckenna but he aint taken a her off anyones hands since before any of us had phones
Joe: i’ll keep that in mind
Joe: well homophobic of me to not tell him myself so he’s welcome for the freebie
Joe: not actual escorting
Joe: she does art, her life drawing class needs a model
Joe: I ain’t fucking doing that
Joe: tell me I ain’t 📖 him right on that one
Ronnie: fucks sake if youd said it was cash for cock wed be done talking already
Joe: I just did
Joe: sound, she’ll be made up, she’ll get off my case, and he’ll get £15 an hour, apparently 👌
Ronnie: sexist not to ask me
Ronnie: pass that on to your little gf
Joe: weren’t her idea to ask Charlie
Joe: you’ll have to take up that grievance with me as well
Joe: I’ll just point out it’d be even weirder if I’d have asked you
Ronnie: you wish
Ronnie: how much £ you offering me to bang you
Joe: if I did no point paying you to do it for her and her class and not me
Joe: that’s an interesting take on cucking though, loads that would go for it, I’m sure
Ronnie: ill write it down as youve made me go hunting for a pen in this shithole
Joe: cheers
Joe: take 20% commission or whatever
Joe: or take the IOU I owe him for doing this
Ronnie: you said it hed do this for fuck all ill take the lot and mary wont know it was a paid gig
Joe: if he can fend the flatmate off, undoubtedly a load of art gays he can have his pick of
Ronnie: that what youre telling yourself for why you dont want me to do it yeah
Joe: you wanna do it?
Ronnie: i want you to admit the reason you dont want me to is cause he scrubs up enough for horse girl and her course mates not to stage an intervention
Joe: not what it is so no
Joe: I know I don’t want to get my shit out in front of a load of middle class kids who know fuck all about fuck all, so I assumed as much for you
Ronnie: dont ever assume fuck all for or about me
Joe: why do you wanna do it so bad when like you said, you can pocket the cash and get him to?
Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking do it
Joe: well that’s grand ‘cos I reckon Sophie wants to see dick so
Joe: she’d be really let down
Ronnie: usually what gets you off
Ronnie: but im made up youre in love now like
Joe: please, she either don’t get it’s weird to ask me which means she’s some kind of special
Joe: or this is the start of her 50 shades fantasy and I have to be the let down to end all let downs and i’m already doing my best
Ronnie: rem is right to pay for it when she could just walk in on you taking a piss or having a shower
Joe: when you’re just a creep and not a predator 💔
Joe: not the girl my parents warned me about
Ronnie: if theyd be the type to go down the stables theyd have seen the other side of her
Joe: you’ve got your own daydreams, alright
Joe: put out the feelers, who isn’t a little gay these days, right
Ronnie: go ed and pass on ive got a bigger dick than him and she will have
Ronnie: i dont dream 💔
Joe: shame she isn’t equally inspiring for you
Joe: or anyone, really
Ronnie: cry about it with him when youre done pimping
Joe: what do you dream about then, when you’re awake
Ronnie: what you cant read me
Joe: clearly not
Joe: dashed your modelling dreams
Ronnie: blind and not able to read braille must be dead hard for you
Joe: is that sympathy?
Joe: or you offering me 🖐 to 👩🏼‍🦲 time
Ronnie: again you wish
Ronnie: 💭💉
Ronnie: cant make it any easier to understand soz
Joe: maybe I do
Joe: far as 💭s go
Ronnie: fuck maybe you do or you dont
Joe: well it ain’t why I don’t want to get my arms out for her
Joe: not tried it
Joe: but not a no
Ronnie: give a shit what you do or dont want to do for or to her
Joe: that is a no, tah
Ronnie: tell her not me baby
Joe: that’s not a big sister duty?
Joe: gutted
Ronnie: wouldnt know im the middle kid dorothy does that for us
Joe: i’ll ask him when i’m crying on him then
Joe: make a change for me
Ronnie: hot
Ronnie: rack up the ious like a fat line hes gonna be made up
Joe: oi he’s like family ain’t he
Ronnie: &
Ronnie: you wanna fuck your mam
Ronnie: not oi ing you
Joe: well you get to think about me and him, you gave me her and you, not fair
Ronnie: life aint soft lad
Ronnie: and stopping at thinking about shit is the difference between me and you
Joe: I get it, you’ve gone there
Joe: purely here for the homophobia
Ronnie: your kinks match 💘
Ronnie: purely there so the lads dont kick off before hes got his kicks
Joe: see, you’ve got it in you 💘
Joe: the sisterly thing
Joe: my hate don’t get expressed by putting me in him though so I won’t run my mouth
Ronnie: not what ive got in me but im not giving you the talk just cause your ma didnt
Joe: you want a virgin to defile reckon Soph and her mates are prime, vampira
Ronnie: set it up with her ill show if i get no better offers
Joe: lucky girl
Joe: no more nights in doing doodles of cute girls that look like you
Ronnie: we dont look alike youll have to accept theyre of you
Joe: i fit less than you, by far
Ronnie: fuck off
Joe: sorry
Joe: it’s weird, say the least
Ronnie: i fit nowhere she made sure i dont
Joe: ditto
Joe: so buzzing i can write shit songs about it though
Ronnie: no
Ronnie: weve got fuck all in common
Joe: just the same mother
Joe: who put her shitty genetics and choices on us both at different times
Ronnie: i ain’t got a mother you cant cross out the un from wanted and act like its the same word
Joe: incubator then
Joe: she was 19 and still fucked, don’t think they had a five-year plan down
Joe: worse if she did, the state of
Ronnie: she made 1 choice for me shes still controlling you
Ronnie: were not the fucking same
Joe: you reckon
Ronnie: if you wanna claim it aint her fault youre this big of a pussy try it
Joe: you don’t think it’s my fault?
Joe: woah, just say you love me
Ronnie: i dont think about you when you aint trying to compare us
Joe: hot
Joe: I’ve thought about you plenty
Joe: uni ain’t that interesting
Ronnie: you came looking for me werent the other way round
Ronnie: you ain’t interesting to me mckenna
Joe: you reckon you’re fascinating, yeah?
Joe: fair enough
Ronnie: if your flatmate knows anyone doing doc film making they can wank over me lying in the gutter when youre done
Joe: nah
Joe: you don’t want control of your narrative
Ronnie: i dont want a narrative
Joe: then i’ll be the only wanker
Ronnie: in your dreams
Joe: well you painted such a lovely visual
Ronnie: black screen would get you going can stay in your own fucked head with no interference then like
Joe: Static is my kink
Joe: you know me so well
Ronnie: your fucking kink is not shutting the hell up til i do
Joe: i’m a gentleman
Joe: and i’m taking that review
Ronnie: youll get a lengthy one from my big brother when you are
Joe: you don’t have to settle for hearing it and getting your kicks second-hand
Joe: I’ll have to be somewhere to be unavailable for this life drawing class
Joe: let’s do something
Ronnie: what you paying me to babysit
Joe: you can ask my mammy or you can see what you can get
Ronnie: if i was gonna talk to her it wouldnt be about you
Joe: thank god
Joe: so take the risk
Ronnie: of what
Ronnie: boring me is asking too much of you
Joe: that’s surely a given
Joe: risk anything but
Ronnie: if I need rescuing again ill call you thats the only given Joe: you’re worse than her
Joe: christian grey or superman, like
Joe: gonna be BFFs yous, I can tell
Ronnie: you dont like being compared to cunts youre nothing like either funny that
Joe: touche
Joe: come on, what would convince you
Ronnie: if youre gonna beg then beg and if youre gonna show me something do it
Joe: I know you’d like to hear me beg but I can’t tell what you’d wanna see
Ronnie: then the answers nothing
Joe: nah
Joe: the answers you want to wait or you wanna be disappointed
Ronnie: why the fuck would I want either of those things
Joe: that’s what I’ll give you then
Joe: the opposite of that
Ronnie: thats meant to convince me yeah
Joe: nah, I am
Ronnie: like fuck will you
Joe: see, you want to be disappointed
Ronnie: ill be disappointed want has fuck all to do with it
Joe: if you don’t come and see
Ronnie: come where
Joe: see me
Joe: i’m new in town, I don’t know where to go
Joe: fuck sightseeing
Ronnie: [somewhere she’d hang out]
Ronnie: go there
Joe: now?
Ronnie: whenever you dont know where to go
Joe: okay
Joe: and I’ll see you there when you don’t
Ronnie: when im not fucking either of our flatmates
Joe: when you’re done being disappointed
Ronnie: when you prove yourself as not
Joe: you’ll see
Joe: I can’t show you over the phone
Ronnie: you could
Ronnie: im going nowhere on a bullshit promise cause im not a meff teenager
Joe: and I ain’t young enough to think that’s a good idea either
Joe: pictures not doing no favours
Joe: if you’re there and i’m there
Ronnie: big if
Joe: I never know where to be
Ronnie: newborn i heard you
Joe: something like that
Joe: if you can’t leave soph alone I’ll do my best begging 🥺
Ronnie: she cant leave you alone id be doing you a favour
Joe: true
Joe: wouldn’t wanna be caught doing that though
Ronnie: let you do the clean up after ive killed and ate her id be caught well fast for that instead
Joe: you’d get caught for being three times your size
Joe: she’s a big girl
Joe: you should share, be sworn to secrecy
Ronnie: doing her a favour i shouldve said
Ronnie: fuck all going for her
Joe: way to get in shape
Joe: she’ll appreciate us using her blood for something artsy on the walls
Ronnie: ill ask the basic white bitch i live with to give me a clue
Joe: 🍆 will be appropriate for her
Ronnie: 🐎
Joe: they might reckon she did it with her dying breath
Joe: very artist of her, dying how she lived
Ronnie: hurry the fuck up with your confession song if you want credit
Joe: you wanna hear me confessing so bad
Joe: but I might be able to hand that in so
Joe: hold on
Ronnie: it aint me whos a choir boy
Joe: ugh, I wish
Ronnie: cant chat shit about us having the same fantasies ive been touched by a old bloke wearing a dress and i dont rate it
Ronnie: standard surrounded by homos night out
Joe: yeah, and the nuns are never the hot kind
Joe: if they didn’t self-flagellate they’d be entirely uninteresting
Ronnie: 💔
Joe: yeah, it’s tragic being this bored/boring, say it ‘fore you have to bother
Ronnie: didnt invite you to no pity party and if thats where youre trying to get me to turn up to dont bother is right
Joe: you mean you don’t wanna talk about your feelings?
Joe: like you said, like being left alone with my own fucked up ones too much to try and start a therapy session
Ronnie: what fucking feelings dead above & below the waist like
Joe: dangerously close to sharing there
Joe: you got your 💉 already then?
Ronnie: wouldnt be this chatty if i had
Ronnie: unlucky you
Joe: I’m the one that wants to see you
Joe: so I’ll cope
Ronnie: cant even spell martyrdom proper so youve fucked yourself looking for a pat on the back off me by matching the definition up
Joe: i’ll just ring mum up yeah
Ronnie: your da if not but it wont have the same satisfying end for you like
Joe: 💔
Joe: validations the last thing i need
Joe: had a whole lifetime
Ronnie: you crawling back to me with a boner for the accent your mummys losing is the last thing i need
Ronnie: get on the scouse samaritans
Joe: don’t reckon that’s a job you’ll get any time soon either
Joe: ‘less the purpose is to make sure people go through with it
Ronnie: couldve fooled me if it aint what else is talking a sad cunts ear off about their problems gonna do
Joe: attention seekers anonymous
Ronnie: no need to meet you there i earned all them badges as a kid 🧷🩸
Joe: wouldn’t be caught 💀 obvs
Joe: keeping it secret adds another level of masochism anyway
Ronnie: does it fuck
Ronnie: keeps you feeling like a smug bitch you can still pass
Ronnie: miss me with that pussy shit
Joe: nah, that’s that i’m in control shit
Joe: it’s not that
Joe: the only thing you might be smug about is how oblivious everyone chooses to be
Joe: if it weren’t also depressing as fuck
Ronnie: dont give em the choice
Joe: why?
Ronnie: why the fuck would you want to
Joe: don’t need to be my mother’s next cause celebre
Joe: she can force the therapy and concern on any of the others, I don’t wanna get better or have to fake like I’ll even try
Ronnie: then dont
Ronnie: cut off your umbilical cord and wipe up the blood trail
Ronnie: not like she tries very hard to herd back the black sheep
Joe: maybe they know and don’t give a fuck 🤞
Joe: I know I ain’t going back so whatever
Ronnie: & you reckon weve got anything in common
Joe: just 50% of our DNA
Joe: never said we were twinsies
Ronnie: if youd have said id have spat in your face 1st time we met get it collected and the tests run
Joe: I wish
Joe: has your face healed
Ronnie: wheres the fun in letting it do that
Joe: 😏
Joe: we can pretend that’s inherited if you need
Ronnie: not 5 i dont play pretend
Joe: if you keep digging, reckon the ink will be gone and it’ll be pure scar tissue
Ronnie: calm the fuck down i can hear how turned on you are about it from here
Joe: spoilsport
Joe: just thinking, scar that only vaguely looks like 🍒s might be well more rugged for my transformation from baby to independent real boy
Ronnie: laughing cos i like pain not cause youre funny
Ronnie: when you see or hear it from wherever youre lurking
Joe: you don’t leave room for me to get the wrong idea, you’re alright
Joe: all them fucked ones are mine alone and already there
Ronnie: get your girlfriend to draw you a pin up & dont tell her youve changed the lass horse head to look like your mas
Ronnie: masc for masc in your bio before you know it and 🦋 tramp stamp to follow
Joe: you know my dad already has a tattoo that looks like her, no bullshit
Joe: and another dead girl on the other arm but that’s a whole other boring story
Joe: playing dress up is off the cards too if I’m ever gonna be a big boy
Ronnie: where do you keep his severed arm when youre not using it to fist yourself and how old were you when you cut it off
Ronnie: if we re telling stories
Joe: 😂
Joe: where we keep the horse
Joe: that en-suite is massive
Ronnie: if he finds out it was a paid gig ill know where to crash
Joe: still gutted she don’t wanna see you naked
Ronnie: youre a liar if you dont wanna see her face seeing me
Joe: don’t know if anyone could be bothered to look at her when you’re about but yeah
Joe: the trauma would really fuel me and make her much more bearable to live with
Ronnie: youre welcome like
Joe: gotta stop being nice to me
Joe: you know stalkers, give ‘em an inch
Ronnie: telling me what to do is the fastest way 🖕
Ronnie: and i know you dont have an inch to give me making the best of this shitshow is what an optimist like me has gotta do
Joe: obviously you’re that type
Joe: not having it in common will have you back 👍
Joe: you’re inspiring, like
Ronnie: chop off my arms and legs and get a camera set up in the en-suite
Joe: you’d fit in my cello case then, could take you everywhere
Ronnie: course youve had a measuring tape out
Joe: hate to kill your optimism with 🍆
Joe: have a go at pushing it back in
Ronnie: how longs your tongue reckon that could kill any girls optimism
Joe: 💔 if it was only good for chatting your ear off
Ronnie: [send him a picture of your weird gross split tongue because obviously]
Joe: [how does that not make you lisp, or does it, I always think that]
Joe: that’s why you’ve not had an invite
Joe: 🚫🐍
Ronnie: gutted
Joe: you know you can show up and do whatever you wanna do whenever
Joe: I’ll take you back
Ronnie: this performance art is meant to what just scare her or teach you how to get her to back the fuck off as well as
Ronnie: im not a fucking tour guide mckenna & you can get yourself evicted without my help
Joe: you know I meant to Dublin
Joe: don’t think it’d take much to scare Sophie off, give it a month for us to both get comfortable and she’ll see what I ain’t
Ronnie: fuck you
Joe: I said if you want
Ronnie: dont need your permission to do anything i want
Joe: don’t think any of ‘em are that lax with their socials
Joe: you’d need directions
Ronnie: ive had years to find em & we dont both hang about with horse girls from kent
Joe: can’t say it’s your loss
Ronnie: shut up about it then
Joe: 🤐
Ronnie: 🖕
Joe: got a whole fist here, you can keep it
Ronnie: sizeist
Joe: told her yours is massive like you said, it’s fine
Ronnie: i said bigger than his not a horse shes in for a disappointment
Joe: gotta 🤞 she’s an optimist like you babe
Ronnie: unlike you shes gonna wait to see what i do with it before telling me to shove it
Joe: you just wanna blueball me for the pain
Joe: go on, for your lols
Ronnie: she wont want me at all unless youre gonna watch
Joe: and you need a witness so I get time too
Joe: I’ll do it, torturous as it’d be
Ronnie: the iou is gonna torture me too
Joe: if you’re lucky
Ronnie: not the dna half we share 💔
Joe: damnit
Joe: what’s good about being Scouse?
Ronnie: now the beatles are dead youve got fuck all to live for
Ronnie: noted
Joe: only the good ones
Joe: I dunno, anything good about it never happened, left when I was a kid and we still lived in a shithole with shitheads
Ronnie: get in line she left me in a shithole with shitheads 1st
Joe: where were you
Joe: wonder how close it was
Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter
Joe: it makes her more/less shitty depending
Ronnie: it aint gonna change my opinion and I dont give a shit about yours
Joe: fair enough
Ronnie: get cosy with charlie hed take you down memory lane
Joe: not before he’s got it out for the art class tah
Ronnie: you didnt say when
Joe: [probably an evening class like tomorrow or the next day, then the same time a week later]
Ronnie: too fucking late the pen is in pieces
Joe: sure it isn’t the first time you’ve left him a note in blood
Ronnie: hes only gonna cry about it & take the shine off his modelling debut
Joe: awh
Joe: message him 🧓🏼
Ronnie: fuck off calling me old
Joe: 😏
Ronnie: ill write him a note blaming what a twat you are for what hes gonna walk in on
Joe: what mess have you made
Ronnie: havent killed myself yet
Joe: and you’ve not stopped talking so no OD’ing
Joe: possibilities are endless still
Ronnie: yeah
Joe: come out
Joe: we can get new ink to dig out
Joe: whatever
Ronnie: you gonna suck his dick this time
Joe: I’ll just pay the old-fashioned way
Ronnie: flashy cunt
Joe: what being a student is all about
Ronnie: and youre too special to poison your blood how the rest of em do
Joe: I’m not opposed but I can do it alone, I don’t need to go to a sweaty student bar that plays shit songs and has a load of sad Soph clones giving it 🥺
Ronnie: you can get another tattoo without me holding your hand
Joe: I could
Ronnie: go do it 🦋 baby
Joe: have mentioned its not about the tat, yeah?
Ronnie: nah not that ive heard
Joe: come on
Joe: i want to see you, i’ve said loads
Ronnie: youve said loads of shit yeah
Joe: shit i mean
Ronnie: why
Joe: why wouldn’t I
Ronnie: thats your answer then fuck it
Joe: you don’t need to ask ‘cos you know
Ronnie: i did ask and you said why the fuck not
Ronnie: like its nothing
Ronnie: like you didnt turn up uninvited into my life not long ago
Joe: then tell me to leave
Joe: like it’s that easy
Ronnie: i didnt tell you to fucking appear
Ronnie: just cause youre a kid dont make me the dead fish you won at the fair
Joe: I never had the choice
Joe: she told me about you, talked about you all the fucking time
Joe: you’ve always been in my life
Ronnie: and youve never been in mine
Ronnie: im not gonna carve out a place for you now cos you want it
Joe: Alright
Joe: do it then
Ronnie: dont tell me what to fucking do
Joe: I’m not going unless you say it
Ronnie: no shit this is fun for you
Joe: like fuck it is
Ronnie: im the car wreck youre craning your neck to keep looking at
Ronnie: thats all the fuck this is
Joe: lie better
Ronnie: you dont care about me or what this feels like
Joe: I can’t take it back, you know now
Ronnie: you dont wanna take it back
Joe: I can’t, what’s the point pretending
Joe: I never said I was a good person
Joe: being sorry won’t change anything for you
Ronnie: its all your christmases & birthdays im west as this course youre gonna keep on spinning me out
Joe: Piss off
Ronnie: lie better cunt
Joe: So you’re allowed pity parties, yeah?
Joe: 👌
Ronnie: calling you out on your bullshit is allowed if youre crying thats your problem
Joe: if all you want from me is for me to go away, consider it done
Joe: you can’t hack it, my apologies
Ronnie: tell me why if im so fucking wrong
Joe: I like you
Joe: I want you, to get to know you
Joe: I can’t just stop it, not for myself
Joe: So make me
Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do
Ronnie: fucks sake
Joe: you ain’t saying anything
Joe: what do you want
Ronnie: I dont want you to like me
Ronnie: fuck is that
Joe: yeah, it’s obvious you go to great lengths to be unlikeable
Joe: not going to tell no one am I
Ronnie: so hate me soft lad
Joe: I’ll give it a go
Ronnie: ill make you
Joe: give it a go then
Ronnie: where are you then
Joe: [give a location of somewhere near your flat ‘cos don’t need to actually set you on the flatmate rn and that’s likely where you were]
Ronnie: [obviously we’re just gonna show up however long that takes us without another word like !?]
Joe: [just so much eye contact ‘cos what you gonna say what you gonna do]
Ronnie: [definitely gonna take him somewhere sketchy as hell to the level that like Charlie doesn’t know we still go there/we’d never take him ever like you wanna get to know me okay bitch buckle up]
Joe: [can’t let you hook up or shoot up yet ‘cos chronological but go along with this obvs]
Ronnie: [it would make sense if you made out/almost hooked up though because the vibe for the next convo was very much oh fuck what are you doing here we didn’t mean to run each other like this but also v flirty]
Joe: [agreed, and allowed, it’s the obvious vibe but any untold drama can happen to stop you in whatever dodgy place so makes sense]
Ronnie: [literally and just because you can’t shoot up together yet does not mean either of you have to be in any way sober so]
Joe: [hundo, we’re not saying he’s never done a drug lol, he clearly abuses his prescription as is so like, there’s plenty to be done without going there]
Ronnie: [and if we wanted to we could say that you watch her do it here and now before you do it together anyway because you’d both get a weird kick out of that]
Joe: [tea, bet you did not see this coming for your uni experience lmao]
Ronnie: [meanwhile she’s old enough to have left, do you wanna grow up babe? No? okay]
Joe: [the way you’re rolling with this, we know you’re fucked boy but pop off]
Ronnie: [I can’t overstate how much she’d be doing the absolute most to try and scare him away like I dare you to go back on what you said]
Joe: [we know you’re not gonna, soz babe, is very rude how he’s just waltzed in but truly did not say we were a good person lol]
Ronnie: [we know she’s not either and also is here for it more than she will ever express until we’re literally years into this]
Joe: [hi your mother’s daughter, but no, you actually have a reason this is messed up but we’re into it from the off and not pretending, risky af strategy boy]
Ronnie: [is there anything we wanna say happens that has lasting-ish consequences other than the make out/ almost hook up ie a tattoo or a fight with injury potential or an arrest lol]
Joe: [hmm, the possibilities, maybe a fight to show you can, could be about anything, it’s that sort of place]
Ronnie: [that is such a mood I love it and yeah could literally be you’re a new face or could be her fault because of the aforementioned doing the most]
Joe: [totally, and that’ll be an easy way to separate you and not meet until the next convo]
Ronnie: [exactly dr phil]
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burnedbyshoto · 4 years
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Somethings I feel like you have split personality. I see you really nice somethings and welcoming and awesome and I think I want to be your friend and I admire you. Then another time I see you lose it completely and just snap at someone even for a simple mistake and just tear them apart and I think "who is that person" and idk if you're noticed that about yourself but yeah....
maybe it’s because my campus just emailed us saying it’s shutting down after spring break and i’m in this weird anxious ball that I feel like I want to reply to this even though it could have been buried in my askbox.
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(these were my test results for the big 5 personality test, just in case you really wanna delve into who i am as a person LOL)
anyways I think it’s pretty interesting about what you say about your observances on me because I don’t think you’re wrong in the slightest. I am a very nice, caring and nurturing person. i’m the oldest and eldest daughter in an immigrant mexican family. it’s been drilled into me to be that way. without trying to seem... braggy or egocentric??? I guess??? I think i’m a very fun person to be around because i’m always on the move and can make both extroverts, ambiverts, and introverts feel comfortable!!! (in middle and high school I was known for basically transforming shy kids into very loud and boisterous people). i’m welcoming and kind because I feel that everyone deserve kindness, everyone deserves to be treated with compassion and sweetness and love!
but people seem to forget that while I am this bubbly idiot who is annoyingly loud, trying to be the mom friend of the group (although i’m definitely more of the wanna be mom friend), I am a very observant, calculating, and albeit limited on patience person. i have a sharp tongue, i cuss so much that people find it weird when i don’t cuss, and i’m a very calm and collected person. i don’t jump to conclusions very often — because even i sometimes crack under monumentous emotions and stress — and tend to come off as unemotional because of it sometimes. I have pretty damn great intuitions of people in terms of their relationship to me. it takes one interaction for me to figure out whether or not we can be friends — and honestly it hasn’t worked out on the internet as easily as it does irl but that’s okay! I see things, I notice things, and by all means i’m fiercely loyal and don’t truly believe in second chances (to explain second chances I mean for seriously big issues. so like if I catch you talking mad shit about me behind my back you’re not worth it to me so I won’t bother with you anymore. there’s no logical reasoning behind actions like that. but if you were like keeping secrets from me because you felt insecure about what I would say and it caused a fight i’d forgive you because that’s something worth figuring out — if that’s something they want to figure out as well!)
because of these moral and ethical conditions of mine, and because I will literally die for the people I love with my sharp tongued persona — which again is shown in my welcoming and kind presence, it’s just ignored because I am a loud blubbering idiot for fun. I am kind, I am welcoming, but i’m no pushover and i’m not afraid of how I come off because in the end I do feel like my feelings are justified.
honestly though, i’m not really sure what i’ve snapped into for a tiny little mistake??? sorry I don’t mean to be rude or anything of that manner, i’m just genuinely curious as to when i’ve snapped like that here??? the only time i’ve had an issue here was surrounding the server which deals with a lot of background information. background information that I cannot fill you in on when you don’t experience it all for yourself on my server but only read about it for yourself be it on my blog or through the mouth or words of someone else. you must also remember that i’m an admin and there’s a bunch of things going on behind the scenes that we don’t always share because some information just isn’t worth sharing because it has nothing to do with you. and people be bringing bs drama to my askbox instead of dming me on discord like I say they should, choosing to instead bring private details to public light and except me to just take it??? nah that’s not me, especially since those words attack more than just me. I can deal with people not liking me, it happens, it’s life, but I don’t like when my friends get slandered. it’s just who i am.
but yeah... how I see it is that I don’t tear into people unless they’ve done something to someone I value highly in my life, or because they’ve screwed up entirely so.
i’m sorry you’ve come to think of me as an angel and this horrific demon, it was never my intention! I do my best with what I can and hell if you think I dont see how I am as a person I can confidentially assure you that i am aware of a lot of my flaws. I know that my reasonings and feelings above are flawed — I am 100% aware! but at the same time I don’t feel the need to change right now because not only does it work for me, but frankly I don’t think I deserve to be torn into and just take it. i’m a “popular blog” sure, but i’m not some prized animal for anons to try and take down and hang on their walls like some trophy.
oh and also!!! i am suspectible hangry and “im too fucking tired for this” moodswings which do very much sour my personality!
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lasiiurus-archived · 7 years
Text
thank you !
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^^ dis gif isn't mine. but that's totally my face.
Here it is! This is my big dumb 'thank-you' post that I've been meaning to write. So if you weren't aware, I've actually closed this blog (aside from some random posts about Logan and a Batman Podcast - you should listen to it) due to some major, major problems with the DC fandom that I find toxic and quite frankly disgusting. But das stuff that sadly I can't change so I'm doing what's best for me and getting my ass outta here before my love for Batman is forever ruined by blind and immature fanboys.
i started writing bryce around about 2015. My first blog was called surgitisms but I changed it because someone made some burnbook callout about me copying someones url (I had no idea that blog existed rofl - surgit is latin for 'rise'). I then moved to rageinyourbones (shoutouts to joseph gordon levitt) where i spent most of my time, developing this character that wasn't even my idea - it was just a passing remark from a lovely actress by the name of Natalie Dormer. now as you're aware (and as i continually apologize for) i fucked up on that blog, and i've done my best to reach out and make amends with the people i offended (and they were super gracious and accepted my apology). but that negative bollocks aside, i grew up so much on that blog. i learned some amazing things about myself, i learned some bad things about myself, and most importantly i created a character that i personally believe is different to bruce wayne. i ended up headcannoning late at night, thinking about how she would act differently to bruce, about how she would interact with certain characters etc etc etc.
but what really made all the difference was the people i met.
you guys are fucking amazing. i mean lets be real - the tumblr rp community can be fucked sometimes. we've all seen it, but what i love is that we tend to (80% of the time) treat each other as real human beings and see that what we're really here for is just the love of these dumb fictional characters. they give us a break from the savagery of life and its endless woes. i am so, so so grateful and so so so blessed to have known the people i have on here. people whom i met on rageinyourbones and followed me across to here, and people whom i met here. holy bollocks im rambling - im just gonna tag some specific people who really really made my life on here so enjoyable. the rest i'll just lump into one big post because i'm lazy like that.
@fracturedportrait - harmony. i remember meeting you the first time. i remember it so clearly. you were so chill, so spunky (god i feel old using that word), and you had such a passion for your oc. i remember the first plot we had, the inspiration we shared... who knew that it was the beginning of my greatest friendship and my #1 OTP for bryce. you were the first person whom i ever actually spoke to off tumblr (remember when i called you?? and you heard my dumb aussie accent??). i remember legitimately getting teary over memes, i remember smiling so much during our threads, i remember (and still do) laugh about us talking about how our sin is like a lovely vintage of wine. your writing consistently, unimaginably, pushes and has pushed me to better mine. with every post you made, you helped improve my writing. you are such a blessing to me and i am not going to just let this stay as some dumb tumblr friendship. we'll face time, and i'll be sure to credit you when i'm on the red carpet with natalie dormer being like 'so what made you want to write this film about a female batman?'. i'll just be like 'yo there was this really cool chick who wrote a vampire and she told me to just write this film'.
@halysborn - SWAN. ho man. do you remember when i wrote that giant meta about how dick literally changed not just bryce's life, but bruce's? i firmly believe that dick is the most important character in bruce's life. and i mean i'm talking on the same level as alfred - even more. he's the TRUE son. the son whom saved him. like i just cry about how bruce says that line - 'sometimes i think i've never done any good in my life. then i look at dick and realize i'm wrong' or whatever that actual phrase is. i PHYSICALLY VOM WHEN PEOPLE SHIP THEM. but yo that's other stuff. what's important is that you have supported me selflessly and without strings. you've supported me here, you've supported me over on deshibcsara, you've just been a consistent rock, an unyielding foundation of encouragement. i still, and will NEVER delete that voice recording where you talk about me and my love for batman. it gives me such hope and reminds me that, yeah i fuck up, but i've at least affected someone else's life and how they see batman. my only regret is that i was so goddamn slow with replying to our stuff. and that was literally because i felt like you deserved nothing but my absolute best. you are incredible, and from one aussie to another, i love you brocookie!
@femmekill - could u pls stop spamming my facebook wall with memes?? SIKE I LIED. I FUCKING LOVE IT. my mum literally asked me the other night 'who is -insert your real name-?' and i was like 'oh thats my wife' and she was like '???' and i just said 'dont even BOTHER trying to understand'. you have been nothing but optimistic about me. you consistently, relentlessly see the good in me. i dont think there's ever been a time where like i've felt wronged by you? or at the very least felt like i was a burden to you? you never fail to spread positivity. even when you were feeling like shit and i tried to cheer you up, it's like you turned it on me and were like 'nah gus you're not cheering me up IM CHEERING YOU UP - thats how it works'. im so fucking whipped by you, because you're just such a blessing to my life. the day we shared FB's was like the day i realized 'WELP IM IN THIS MARRIAGE FOR LIFE NOW'. when it comes to your writing - i'm just breathless. the tumblr rp fandom does not deserve you. keep doing your thing man - don't ever let douchebag anons change that.
@marblebelow - I SINCERELY HOPE YOU STILL HAVE THE RECORDING OF ME SINGING 'THE CONFRONTATION'. especially with the 'DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUN'. that shit is lit. yo but mikel really. the days of us writing together - writing fisk/bryce and then writing jim/bryce... i value it so much. you've taught me to pursue every little nuance in bryce's character. and i mean that - you ask me tiny little questions, and holy crap i end up going into a massive internal investigation. and worst of all (or best??) you jsut lavish me with genuine, kind words. i regret that we didnt get to write much more (both of us having major stress/overwhelmed issues), but dude, like, never stop being you - you have such overwhelming, unimaginable depths of creativity. even if you don't realize it, or feel like you don't, believe me - you do. it sounds like -- errr.... arrogant? but ive spent the last six years studying writing/fiction/film and just immersing myself in it so i feel like i have SOME credibility - you really really do have a gift.
@ivyworn - 'yes hello i'd like to report a murder? the victim is ME' aka this is what happens whenever we talk. so we never actually got to do much writing, but honestly? i literally feel like we did writing in the SPIRIT with all of our tumblr IMs and just the amount of shit talking we did. PUMA. LEST WE FORGET. PUMA. no but real talk, i was supposed to send you a birthday gift aka im still gonna get my ass onto paypal and do that SO DONT YOU LEAVE YOUR BLOG. AND YOU CANNOT SAY NO. i've never met anyone whom has such an in-depth love and understanding for ivy. i remember chatting about Cast Shadows with you and the level of complexitity between Batman and Ivy. i mentioned this but Batman/Ivy is literally my OTP for Bruce. i just think it is such an interesting avenue that no writer (post Cast Shadows) has explored. whenever we spoke, i had such a smile on my face, i cannot even begin to desribe it. i really really hope life goes well for you and treats you with the care and respect you DESERVE.
@psyclownsis @scarestress tags both blogs bc i have no idea where you are these days. so i already recorded that voice meme thing talking about you piri - but i literally just want to further express my admiration and gratitude for you. you've stuck by me, you've pulled me aside and been like 'oi gus you're being a douche stop it', and you've just supported me and taken such an interest in this dumb character i write that literally just blows me away. the fact that we barely write but i still feel so close to you and so valued by you is just a testament to the power of tumblr rp friendships. we don't NEED to write together to be friends and to respect and admire each other. AND LORD KNOWS i admire you. i admire your dedication, i admire your 'idgaf' attitude. and honestly i just admire your unrelenting loyalty to people.
because i've literally written an essay - the rest of these tags are people that i admire and love, even if we haven't had much chance to interact.
@agoodluthor | @gunkanjiima | @grincarved | @terrifiesthem | @tcmbraider | @truthpiety | @influencedbyfear | @inexactexpiration | @aftcrshocks | @fallencomrade | @geniusfuturist | @mangledgrin | @shewolveriine | @tragicloss | @unleashedjustice | @volchista | @widowscars 
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thetimelordbatgirl · 5 years
Text
Random scattered thoughts about D3 under the cut
*The fact that everyone has basically abandoned Audrey though......where goodness doesn't get better? More like 'we'll abandon you once your dumped by our king and also rub it in your face that you couldn't hold a prince like your mother could'- also Audrey knows about the love spell and WHY Mal did it, but if that's the, case then everyone knows and still doesn't care that Mal did that- like the one person with brain cells is Audrey and shes the villain of this movie.
*Queen of Mean is a bop though- its one of the only valid songs in this movie, but also with the evil laughter almost that could be heard BEFORE Audrey puts on the crown, it makes me wonder if they planned to have Audrey be possessed after all.
*One Kiss is literally just gay panic the song, no I don't take arguments its literally Evie in gay panic mode and its Disney having to do that one heterosexual song to remind us that no, only heterosexual couples are valid in this universe- also despite dating for three years, Evie struggles to tell Doug she loves him and even doesn't believe her true loves kiss wont work???? WOW- can we say, clearly goals to have a relationship where bae stalks you originally and you struggle to tell him you love him after three years of dating and after sharing a cottage with him?
*Night Falls is a cool song, but I love how as soon as Uma tries to lead, Mal gets bitchy and acts like she can lead a sword fight better then a pirate captain could- like, mal chill, your not queen yet.
*Mal as Hades daughter.......lemme just uh, stress that's the worst twist in history, literally over-powers Mal once more with now god blood- and Do What You Gotta Do is literally daddy issues the song, and despite having the same parenting as Maleficent with how he neglected Mal basically, Hades is somehow the better parent?? HOW?! Also its never showed how Mal learnt this information.....did Disney forget to write that in or- and of course, Mal must be the only VK of the core four with a good parent- cause of course, Mal must have everything as always.
*Audrey singing Happy Birthday while cursing the party and singing 'dear jane' while smiling evilly......can we just uh say, she at least got down with the aesthetic of being a villain?
*Oh yeah, speaking of villains- despite being promoted as villains, Hades does nothing basically besides drain Mal of her magic and all 'evil' scenes from trailer is just him doing random shit or good shit, while Uma is more of a anti-hero while Celia is kinda just there doing scamming and such- Audrey was the only accurate villain to promotion and even then she only got one trailer.
*My Once Upon A Time is literally Pity Me the song and Mal even sings at the end about reaching greatness and such- Jay, Evie, Carlos and Ben got stonned for this shit.
*Also yes, they literally stonned Ben, Carlos, Jay and Evie cause only Mal can take part in final fight.
*ALSO- MAL LIED- like, girl literally lied to her friends about the isle barrier and didn't tell them she was going to seal it up, and when confronted about it, she acts like she had no choice when she MADE the decision on her own and then after friends get stonned, she goes into pity song mode and doesn't suffer much consequences for the lie afterwards.
*Audrey saying to Mal though about the love spell and how its a touching story for the grandkids.......grandkids in the future felt that burn.
*Mal is cursed into a old hag and Ben into a beast......except Mals curse wears off under the barrier while Bens is soon enough fixed by Jane blasting enchanted lake at him- just......cant have true love fix curses like they do in the movies, nah, that means our couple being true love.
*Audrey nearly fucking dies- thanks plot for nearly killing the WOC princess.
*"Mal came through"- yeah, after planning to seal up the barrier and abandon every kid on the isle basically- but its okay they didn't know so its okay, TIME TO CELEBRATE MAL AGAIN-
*Lady Tremaine's character is fucking weird- in descendants 2 they say shes not a good grandma, but here she is?! Can Disney make up their mind on how the characters are written?!
*Celia and her relationship with her father though is precious, y'all can fight me on it.
*Mal literally saying she has to be queen of the isle as well- one, excuse you that's Uma's title and two, the isle IS apart of Auradon and is a PRISON, then again, descendants 2 forgot this detail when trying to act like being from a place where VKs are abused by their parents is something you cant ignore so why am I not surprised Descendants 3 is continuing that trend.
*Mal is drained of her magic but this isn't even explored cause she gets it back when Hades gives her the ember- so guess we cant even see Mal be forced to fight a battle without magic.
*Also Hades gives Mal the ember at the end for good- BUT WHAT WILL SHE DO WITH IT?! Its probably gonna go in the museum lol- so he basically lost his weapon as well.
*The Smee twins are also precious, and the fact that Smee cares about them is adorable- plus Smee is kinda accurate in design so.
*Jay being a big brother to all....precious- but also hes clearly gay for Gil sorry don't make the rules.
*Carlos and Jane must be protected from the plot.
*Evie's plot is good as well, but her whole 'struggling to say I love you to doug' is still bullshit plot.
*Doug is as boring as ever- next.
*Uma is a queen as always- her boys were so happy to see her again and she looked so happy to see them as well, let alone seeing the sun finally when the barrier fell at the end.
*Which brings me to uh, the ending.....THEY TORE DOWN THE BARRIER- like, the entire Isle is free now, not just the VKs but also villains- VILLAINS WHO IN FIRST MOVIE WANTED REVENGE- villains who will likely hurt their kids in Auradon still and villains who will likely not want to play peaceful and happy families- I thought Mal knew how villains worked, but she thinks villains will wanna play good guys? What happened to 'your parents cant reach you here' in film 1? NOW THEY CAN- Jasmine already fucking calling bullshit if Jafar thinks he can roam free.
*Hades at the end.......uggghhhh- Mal as his kid still makes no sense and never will and we get it, protective dad joke- WE GET IT- god, those jokes tire me sometimes.
*Disney really better not be acting like they deserve an award for that Hades and Mal twist- everyone saw it coming, you gave it away with Mal's hair and the teaser trailer- which is also never explained in D3 so lol.
*Disney: *doesn't have Lonnie being mentioned at all* Lonnie: "Am I a joke to you?"
*Chads weak as always- again, next.
*Audrey does get a apology finally but um, it took THREE YEARS to do so! Y'all asked for her revenge! Like, I love Ben but who the fuck says to a pissed off person that's about to curse you and your trying to talk them out of it, "I'll forgive you" like- DUDE NO-
*VK Day is still bullshit and that's just facts- also I love how they like I wish we could take you all- WHY. CANT. YOU?! You have power to take them all of it! But you DONT! In fact, Mal later decides to seal up the barrier at one point meaning she had to abandon the VKs there and even prevent Celia from seeing her dad again! So guess she forgot the VKs and was like 'yeah seal that fucker up cause Hades stole my magic'.
*Mal needing cheering in final fight......yayyy- I didn't need anymore reminders this was a Mal movie.
*Remember when HSM3 at least felt connected to the prior movies? D3 doesn't even FEEL connected- your expected to read books that may not stand a chance at getting mentioned- also had a entire different thing with Mal's dad but Disney erased that despite connecting the books each time they said to read a book before seeing the film- and in D3, a lot of shit just feels separate to the previous two- let alone the major time skip making it harder to connect- with Young Justice, while timeskips happen you still get hints at what happened inbetween those timeskips- but with D3? None is mentioned- so your left with this as the last movie and yeah, its just messy really.
*Well at least Huma won- we got one good ship in this movie at least- too bad its surrounded by a mess.
*Thank fuck there's no more descendants movies after this- sure, its sad and descendants still has a place with me- well with the aspects I like/the characters I like- but at the same time, a fourth descendants would be disrespectful to Cameron Boyce, the only Carlos really and of course, considering how messy D3 was and how Mal centred it became, a fourth movie really is not in the future- its sad I know, but at the same time, at least descendants can live on in fandom.
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umbillicalnoose · 5 years
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i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.
to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.
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laurazepamwrites · 4 years
Text
The Chemicals between us ~Ch.5
With most of the base now empty with only a skeleton crew to run it there was plenty of accommodation to go around. Some of the younger women had decided on sharing a dormitory meant for new recruits whilst others had chosen singular personnel quarters. Some had even moved into less homely lodgings like Torbjorn, who had taken one of the empty garages near the workshop, or Angela who had neatly converted a spacious office next to medical into a comfortable bedroom. After much indecisiveness and downright ludacris demands from having the Commanding officers quarters to room service the Junkers had finally settled on taking a small disused storage warehouse, it even had two floors allowing Roadhog to have his own space in what felt like forever. It was dusty, the metal fixtures had spots of rust and it was far more industrial than cosy even though the old lady captain had graciously given him two beds. To him, it felt the closest to his farm he would ever get in a long while. It would do. Junkrat wasted no time in making himself a workstation even going as far as to unceremoniously flip his mattress and blankets on the floor along with what few possessions he had with him and after a few adjustments had used the metal bed frame as a makeshift tool holder to stand alongside the desk he had ‘borrowed’.
  It had kept him busy for a couple of hours in which time some team members had come to see them. Morrison had once again reminded the Junkers of rules and boundaries and consequences until Junkrat threatened to blow up his own eardrums if the old man kept going on about it, the Doctor came to check on his stitches and to return Roadhogs Hogdrogen despite her advise on his frequent usage, he politely waved her off as he clicked in the canister to his mask and taking in a deep drug infused breath, he was running low and finding more would be hard to come by in this country but he’d find a way, until then he had reluctantly agreed to use an oxygen tank at night time. As the evening drew in Roadhog was snoring loudly on his two single beds as Junkrat delicately worked on his prosthetics, a sudden knock on the metal door made him jump and drop the small screwdriver he was holding. ‘Fucks sake! Dont fucking like this Hog!’ He called down to a grumbling Roadhog who wheezed as he sat up. ‘S’pose we should get used to it..’ He muttered in reply, heaving himself up and heading for the door. He couldn't blame Junkrat for his anxiousness, he should probably talk to him about it later. He heard voices outside as he reached for the door handle which shushed as he pulled it open. His gaze dropped downward at the sight of a young man with dreads and two young women before him, their eyes widening at the huge man before them. ‘Yeah?’ Roadhog grunted at them. The young man squeaked and hastily nudged one of the girls forward, the young asian woman rolled her eyes and held her chin high looking right into the black glass eyes of his mask. ‘See guys? Told you he was big.’
‘Hana! Don't be rude!’ Said the remaining woman in a european accent. She was holding a toolbox and had oil on her clothes. Must be the Lindholm girl. ‘I’m sorry Mr Rutledge, Papa sent me to give these to Junkrat.’ She rattled the toolbox.
‘We’re calling him Jamie cos Junkrats a dumb name!’ Hana called loudly trying to get his attention from behind Roadhog, It worked as the tell tale sound of his peg leg could be heard coming down the flight of stairs. Junkrat pushed Roadhog out the way and made a face at his visitors, ‘What's this the welcome party or summit?’ He leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms.
‘Something like that, we brought you guys something to eat.’ Said Lucio, picking up some trays of food beside him.
‘Yep.’ Said Roadhog, reaching over and taking the trays, promptly returning inside and sitting down to eat. Junkrat glanced over the brunette girl, ‘You the angry hobbits kid? Bridgette? Baguette?’
‘Brigitte. You didn't call him that to his face did you?’
‘Yeah.’
She laughed out loud, ‘And you lived? Wow the last person to call him that had a hammer to the face. You got on his good side. Oh here take this.’ She handed the toolbox to Junkrat, he gave her a quizzical look as he opened it. Inside was a decent selection of different tools designed especially for prosthetic maintenance. ‘Papa works on his own too, Jesse and Genji go to Dr Zeigler since theirs are highly advanced, can I see yours?’
‘Er…?’
She didn't wait for an answer, grabbing his metal hand and holding it close to her eyes. ‘You made this?’ She asked, eyes wide. ‘Wow even down to the synthetic nerves but you need to fix the casing. There's plenty of scrap metal in the workshop and there's a small soldering kit in the tool box already.’
‘Yeah er..thanks?’ He dislodged his hand from her grip and flexed the metal digits now feeling slightly insecure.
Hana stepped forward, ‘Hey erm..thanks for not telling Commander Morrison I let you out, even though I technically didn't! But still..thanks Jamie.’
‘Sure, no worries.’ He shrugged.
‘Look man, I appreciate that this must suck being here for you, but y’know it's not bad here. Good people, sure plenty of different opinions but we’re a team. Your here now so why not make the best of it? We can help you out, and hey! It's great to have someone else our age to hang with!’ 
‘Our age? I’ll remind you i'm the youngest here.’
‘Youngest human.’ Corrected Brigitte
Hana brushed her off. ‘Pfft..details.’
Junkrat rubbed the back of his neck with his living hand, ‘Yeah er, may need time to adjust to all this...been a long while since i've been around people, and even then anyone of em could kill ya if they felt like it.’
‘So what was it like? Growing up in the Outback, what happened to you after the Omnium explosion?’ Asked Hana
Now he felt uncomfortable and wanted to back out of whatever this was, luckily for him Lucio had noticed and took Hana by the arm. ‘C’mon leave the guy alone, we don't need to know anything. Lets go.’ He looked to Junkrat and gave him a small understanding smile, he smiled back and nodded a thanks.
‘Come by the workshop tomorrow Jamie.’ Said Brigitte as she turned to follow Hana and Lucio. ‘We’ll fix your hand up and Papa can show you what we do. Night!’
‘Yeah..laters..?’ He hovered by the door and watched them leave, absentmindedly he began gnawing at his lip, wincing as he remembered the stitches there. He closed the door and looked at the toolbox tucked under his arm, he knew Roadhog was watching him.
‘You alright Rat?’ He said between mouthfuls of food.
At first he didn't indicate that he had heard him, he was still looking at the toolbox and seemingly lost in his thoughts.
‘Rat?’
‘Fine mate.’
Roadhog sighed then nodded to the chair next to him. ‘Sit down, eat something.’
‘Nah thanks i'm just gonna-’
‘No you’re not. You’re gonna sit and you’re gonna eat.’ 
‘Not hungry.’
‘Stop. I know what you are doing and you stop it right now. Sit the fuck down.’
Junkrat stared him down despite knowing he almost always lost this game. Roadhog grunted in satisfaction as he eventually stomped over to the table and slamming the toolbox on it before slouching on the chair and pouting. Roadhog pushed a tray towards him. ‘Eat.’ He said, continuing with his own meal. Finally Junkrat succumbed and pulled the tray closer and there was a moments silence before Roadhog decided to break it.
‘So..’ He said, ‘Jamie huh?’
‘Yeah..it's weird.’
‘Just be glad you didn't forget your own name after all these years.’
‘You’re one to talk..Mako.’
‘Hmph..’ The silence once again hung between as Roadhog decided the best way to ask after his partners current mental state.
‘So..you alright? Don't give me any of that ‘im fine’ bullshit’
Junkrat flashed him a grin. ‘I’m okay mate.’
‘Rat I swear to fucking God-’
‘What Hog? What? You wanna know im freaking out? That i feel totally out of control, that I now have a fuck load of people to figure out whether they’re gonna kill me or kill you, that I am totally out of place here and everyone's asking fucking questions about fucking everything and it's bringing up alotta fucking stuff which i don't fucking wanna think about and my arm which isn't even fucking there hurts so fucking much and all this shit is spinning round n round in my head and I just want it to shut the fuck up!’ He kicked the table in his emotional outburst which had threatened to spill over all day, Roadhog was waiting for it and simply sat quietly and listened as the younger Junker got it out of his system. Junkrat slumped lower in his chair, running his flesh hand over his face and through his hair, his anger subsiding and looking exhausted. ‘Its..It's too fucking much mate, need to feel control over something, need to blow something up!’
Roadhog felt this was a good time to step in before Junkrat worked himself up again. Reaching behind his head he unclasped his mask and set it on the table, his skin felt strange to the sudden exposure to the air. It was extremely rare for him to go maskless but the boy needed calming and he needed to understand that Roadhog was being genuine. ‘Rat, look at me.’ He didn't, once again testing the stitches in his lip and purposely looking away. Roadhog sighed. ‘Jamison?’ 
That got his attention and he finally looked at Roadhogs maskless face. ‘I’m sorry I got angry with you earlier. I know you were worried, but I don't think this place is bad. It's not like Junkertown, If i thought we were in immediate danger coming here then believe me, we would not be here. Now...you feel out of control? Yet you’ve negotiated a contract and made whatever this is work more to your favor. Yes, we are out of place but this is a thrown together vigilante group. I doubt you’re the only one feeling like that, personally I dont give a shit that I stick out. Now..those kids that came to see you, pretty sure they don't want to kill you. Looks to me they wanna be friends if you remember what those are, you could do with some actual social interaction so don't be a dick about it, even when they are curious. And you’re gonna get questions Jamison, so you set the boundaries on what you’re okay to talk about. No one needs to know about what happened to you growing up there, that's up to you. Now you can't go blowing shit up every time you get angry or upset so you need to find another outlet so maybe that girl and her Dad can help out with that..As for your arm I can't offer any advice. Its worse when you’re upset, when you’re tired and when you’re hungry. So take a breath, fucking eat and try and get some fucking sleep. In the morning take a shower, eat again then we take it from there alright?’
He still looked upset but less so and more settled, he flexed his metal hand and gave his friend a small smile. ‘Alright mate.’
Roadhog regarded him and after a moment's consideration reached out to ruffle Jamison's hair, thankful that he didn't flinch at the touch. Instead he grinned and playfully swatted his huge hand away, ‘Alright fuck off with that.’
Roadhog snorted and returned to his food, ‘Eat. Then get some sleep. Not gonna talk to you rest of the night, you've heard enough from me to last you a week.’
‘...Thanks Hog.’
Roadhog simple grunted in acknowledgment. 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next morning a small beep beep sounded from the commanders private computer, Jack sat down in front of it and after a few clicks was present with a new message.
:Got some very angry people here so I must congratulate you on your success of finding the Junker. Please share if you find out what he has! No need to thank me of course. Also this may interest you..’
Jack waited and eventually another beep beep came from the computer, this time it was a file attachment.
:Enjoy! 
Jack did not bother to reply, instead opening the already encrypted file. It was a photo of a very wealthy looking Omnic who he instantly recognised as Maximillien and two men; one of them being Sanjay Korpal, one of the Viskar corporations most senior members..now what was he doing meeting one of Talons inner council? It wasn't the first time Viskar had popped up in all this, It was only yesterday that Ana had debriefed him on her mission to Iraq, learning of their desire to have a presence in Oasis where coincidently a key member of Talon and former Blackwatch agent Moira O’Deorain was based. ‘Getting to her would be near impossible.’ in that city, Jack thought to himself as he shut down the computer and Vishkar would need to make a more obvious move on their allegiances before sending anyone in, for now it was smoke and mirrors. Reinhardt have given him a more solid lead from his time spent in Latvia near the border of Russia, learning of a possible Talon shipment being sent to a supposedly disused military compound near a town called Bryansk south of Moscow. If it was indeed a Talon base with a cache of weapons he needed it destroyed. He went to the communicator on the wall and pushed a button, ‘Athena,’ He spoke into the speaker. ‘Call Captain Amari, Lieutenant Reinhardt and Agents Genji and Zarya to the briefing room please.’
‘At once Commander.’ The A.I replied.
Soon enough everyone was accounted for in the briefing room and Morrison began the meeting. ‘Athena bring up a map of Bryansk, Russia.’ A large map projected in the middle of the table. ‘Bryansk, a densely wooded city in western Russia. Mostly a center for steel and machinery manufacturing and if Reinhardts source is to be trusted a cache for Talon weapons. Athena, give a rundown on any empty military compounds or warehouses within a thirty mile radius of the city.’
‘Overwatch satellites are mostly shutdown however I will do what I can Commander,’ Athena replied.
They waited as the A.I scanned the area, slowly pinpointing buildings within the search radius, five of them showed in total. ‘That is all I can do for now Commander.’
Jack looked at each point on the map, assessing the most likely place for the compound, ‘Athena, zoom in on the point north west of Bryansk.’ The map zoomed in showing a building deep within the woodland, it was well away from any towns yet within 10 miles of the nearest main road. This had to be the place.
‘Zarya, welcome to your first mission. I want you and Genji to go to Bryansk, get a safe house and scan the area. If it's true what this place is we need to take control of it, seize the cache and destroy the compound.’
Zarya nodded, ‘I will gladly go, but must I go with the Cyborg?’
‘Oh please, none taken,’ retorted Genji
Morrison gave her a hard look. ‘I understand your mistrust of Omnics Zarya but Genji is Human. You agreed to be apart of this team and in doing so agreed to work with whomever I say. Are we clear on this?’
She looked between him and Genji with coldness in her eyes, ‘Fine. I agree.’ She reluctantly said.
‘Good. Ana, Reinhardt? Anything to add?’
‘My source tells me armoured trucks go through at least once a week, morning and evening. I suspect they have a lot of armed guards patrolling. Perhaps Zarya can gather more information in the city whilst Genji surveys the area?’ Suggested Reinhardt.
‘Just be careful Zarya, you are well aware you are popular in Russia, perhaps they can set up base in a smaller neighbouring town with less people. Questions may be asked if you go looking for information from the wrong people. Id recommend caution.’ Said Ana
‘This is not my first mission finding information..nor is my first mission working with someth...someone so..technologically advanced. It will be fine, I will deliver.’ Replied Zarya.
‘That's settled then, I’ll have Lena program the Orca for autopilot to a safe location, you should have no issues getting in or out. Once you get enough information we’ll send a second team out. Go prepare yourselves, you depart this evening.’ Said Morrison as he dismissed them.
‘Yes commander.’ They said in unison, giving eachother an uneasy look before leaving the room.
Jack sat back in his chair and sighed. ‘This is going to be hard work.’ 
‘Oh and what part would that be Jack? From my recollection this has always been hard work.’ Said Ana mildly.
‘Keeping everyone in line Amari, we have people here with very different opinions. There's going to be conflict.’
‘Those different opinions could be beneficial Commander,’ Offered Reinhardt. ‘It allows us to see things from new perspectives.’
‘Not when we have in fighting it doesn't, we all know that.’ Said Jack, standing up to leave. Ana and Reinhardt shared a look with each other. It was probably best to let that subject slide for now.
‘Just be glad no ones having sex Jack, now that would be difficult to deal with.’ Ana called after him, trying to lighten the mood. He said nothing and left the room.
‘Tsk..always the boy scout isn't he Reinhardt?’ She said to her friend.
‘Somethings never change Ana, for good or bad. At Least we are still here to guide the younger generation.’
She smiled warmly at him and squeezed his hand, she had missed her old friend.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
As evening creeped across the watchpoint Mei glanced towards the Orca as it was being prepared for flight from the window of Winston's Laboratory and felt a pang of jealousy before returning to type away at a computer. She did not come here often, she still had not had a proper conversation with Winston since her heated phone call. He had tried, as had all the older members, asking her how she was and how she was coping and being oh so nice to her. Too nice, they couldn't hide their pity if they tried. They felt sorry for the poor little Climatologist asleep for a decade whilst her teammates and friends lay dead around her. She didn't want their pity, she hated it. She hated their smiles and concern, she hated how they danced around the subject, fearful of upsetting her. Why? When she was already so sad, so angry. It was her own fault she supposed. Wearing her mask that showed the world she was the same Mei all those years ago. Kind, polite and happy, optimistic and positive. That's what she showed to the world, did her friends look at her with pity in their eyes because they see through the front or was it all in her head?
She gave herself a little shake, jolting herself to stop from lingering on that dark cloud that constantly loomed in the back of her mind. She rested her head on her hand and continued watching the computer transfer data onto her small laptop. It wasn't her usual work on weather patterns or climate but she was desperate to feel useful here, so here she was alone in Winstons lab using his computer to transfer information on what needed repairing in the watchpoint from most urgent to least. Right down to the last service bot. She was so bored, but at least she could be alone after yet another rough night.. She heard the door open downstairs and she let out a small sigh, so much for avoiding conversation she thought as she began to pack up her belongings. ‘I'm done here Winston.’ She called, tucking the laptop under her arm and preparing to leave. ‘I'll send you the list later this..evening.’ She paused at the top of the stairs. It wasn't Winston who had come in.
‘Yeah if I see King Kong i'll pass on the message.’ Junkrat said casually, barely glancing at her as he tinkered with some lab equipment.
She narrowed her eyes at him,‘You are not supposed to be in here.’
‘Oh if i had a penny every time i've heard that.’ He laughed.
Mei began to walk down the stairs. ‘You know you can't be in here. We’ve all been informed of your ‘contract’.’ she mimed the quotations with her free hand. Junkrat ignored her, sitting on an office chair and using his metal peg to slowly spin himself around. He picked up a small random piece of apparatus on one of his turns and began playing with it, the hint of a smirk on his face.
Mei blinked at him, taken slightly aback at being ignored, she brushed a strand of hair from her face and put her hand on her hip. ‘I said-’
He spun to face her. ‘Yeah i heard ya, and it's a big place here, you can't blame a guy for getting lost.’
‘You are not allowed to enter the labs without supervision.’
‘You're here aren't ya?  He retorted, spinning around.
‘I..youre…’ She huffed in exasperation, the attitude on him! She had expected none less from this uncouth criminal Junker. ‘Nǐ zhège húndàn’ she muttered under her breath.
He swivelled in his chair to face her once again and grinned at her, ‘Aww c'mon Frosty...bet you know worse insults than that.’
she stared at him incredulously ‘You...speak Mandarin?’
‘Enough to get by and enough to know when someone's calling me a jerk or worse.’
At least she had the grace to blush but like hell was she going to apologise to him, instead she scowled hard. Junkrat faked a shudder, ‘Fuck..get cold just looking at ya.’
‘Look somewhere else then!’ She snapped back.
‘With pleasure!’ he retorted and he swung his chair again turning his back to her and going back to his exploring. Mei stood there with her mouth slightly open, she could not believe his attitude walking in like he owned the place, ignoring the contract which was his own idea and frankly not seeming to care to follow its rules. He was really beginning to bug her and in turn she was ruffling his feathers too. He disliked authority, and this Icy woman was talking to him like a school boy in trouble.
‘You need to leave now.’ She stated, pointing to the door.
Junkrat rolled his eyes, ‘Yeah i'm going, you're pretty boring.’
‘Erm..Excuse me?’
‘Its means-’
‘I know what it means!’ She snapped. ‘And i'm sorry i don't find wanton destruction and exploding things a good use of my time.’
‘You should try it Frosty..might warm ya up abit.’ He winked at her.
Her face felt hot. Why did her face feel hot? ‘You..gah! Hundan! Why are you even here? Overwatch isn't for people like you!
‘meaning..? He grinned slyly, leaning toward her.
She knew he was baiting her, but something in her made her want to argue with him. To get the last word. 'Overwatch is for heroes, for making a positive impact on the world...it's not for half crazed criminal arsonists!’ She responded with an edgy tone. He gave her a smug smirk and she caught a glimpse of a gold tooth. She expected him to react in anger, the fact he found this amusing made the exchange all the more infuriating.
‘You’re a criminal too frosty...everyone here is now, even the doctor. So, what kinda illegal activities does a girl like you do round here? 
‘I'm a scientist if you must know. I have a doctorate in Climatology.’
‘You have a what doing what now?’
She rolled her eyes. Of course he didn't know what that meant. ‘I study weather patterns and how it affects the Earth's climate.’ 
He stared at her a moment before barking out a laugh. ‘Oh right ok then. Very useful when the the bots wipe out half the population and you got terrorists kicking in your door. But hey, at least we'll know the forecast!’
Her eyes widened in anger and her nostrils flared, not that he seemed to notice and if he did he didn't seem to care. Silently she pointed to the door, he snickered as he stood up and stretched, much to her surprise he was a good deal taller than her. She watched him leave, keeping an icy glare on her face and tapping her foot with impatience. ‘Later Frosty.’ He called over his shoulder as the door shut behind him. Mei breathed heavily through her nose, her anger bubbling threatenly inside her. He had touched a nerve and patronized her, whether he meant to or not. ‘Ugh! Cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài!’ She shouted after him.
She soon headed back to her room, throwing the laptop down on her bed and sitting down roughly next to it, Snowball woke from its charging station and went to greet her, making a confused noise as she failed to notice him. ‘Oh..sorry Snowball. I just met the biggest Jerk in the world that's all.’ She hugged her droid friend and decided not to let that Junker get to her. She picked up her laptop and sat down at the desk and began to work. Why was it so hard to concentrate? She kept going back to her meeting with Junkrat, why? He wasn't worth it, he was just trying to upset her. She shouldn't let that jerk get to her. So why where her fingers tapping in agitation? Why was she feeling prickly anger that simmered incessantly? Why did he make her feel like she was useless here? No stop it Mei, you have work to do..tap, tap, tap. Is this that important? No of course it is, this is helpful to our efforts. Tap, tap, tap. Athena could of done this in minutes..Tap, tap, tap..I'm helping, i'm helping..aren't I? Tap, tap, tap..Doesn't he know anything?! ‘UGH!!’ She slammed the laptop shut and stood up so abruptly snowball spun midair in surprise.
‘I’m not taking this from some stupid Junker!’ She shouted, storming out of the room.
----------------------------------------------------------------
 Roadhog was resting outside his new accommodation enjoying the cool evening breeze and the quiet, an empty canister of Hogdrogon next to him. Four left..getting low. His peace soon ended as he heard the familiar thud of a metal peg on the ground and only looked up when the sound stopped in front of him. He nodded to Junkrats metal hand. ‘Fixed it then?’
'Yeah, feels pretty good too. They even had paint!’ Junkrat replied happily, admiring his handy work.
Roadhog grunted, ‘’Can see that, got alot on you..’
Junkrat sat down next to him. ‘I had a shower! With difficulty mind you, gonna have to modify one with supports.. Maybe I can accuse them of being ableist?’
‘Don't be a dick, Rat...eaten?’
Junkrat rolled his eyes, 'Yeah.’
'Did you sleep?’
'I told you this morning I did.’
‘Still lying.’ Roadhog replied. He had heard him during the night struggling with a nightmare, thankfully it wasn't bad enough he'd have to shake him awake. He expected as much and he hoped they would calm down once he was more settled here, If the boy even knew what settled was.
‘Did you behave yourself?’
‘I was in the workshop most of the day!’
'I know..not what i asked though.’
‘Yes! Fuck!’
Roadhog looked up as something caught his eye, Junkrat didn't notice nor could he see past Roadhogs massive frame. He did look up at him however when he sighed in annoyance.
'What?’
‘Happen to piss anyone off?’
‘Don't think so, though the rusky looks like she wants to break me in half.’
‘Anyone besides her?’
He thought for a moment, ‘..No? Now im not so sure..’’
‘Well have a think cos a small chinese girl is marching over here with murder in her eyes.’
‘Wha..?’ He leaned forward to look past Roadhogs huge stomach to where he was pointing. Sure enough Mei was walking with intent towards them with a very sour look on her face.
Junkrat groaned and rubbed his hand over his face. ‘For fucks sake.’ He muttered. ‘Tell her i'm not here..’ He used Roadhogs arm to push himself up to stand.
‘Shes looking right at you.’
‘Then she can watch me leave then, not keen on that one mate.’
‘Too late.’ Muttered Roadhog as Mei stomped over to Junkrat and stood right in front of him, even with him slouching the difference in height was comical, not that this deterred her anger to whatever he had done.
‘You! You waltz in where you’re not supposed to be, insult me! Patronize me?! And think i’m just going to be ok with that? You are possible the most rude and obnoxious Jerk i've ever had the displeasure of meeting!’
‘You forgot witty, dashing, inventive and misunderstood.’
‘Why are you even here!’
‘Keep up, I was forced here. Don't have a go for making it worth me while Frosty.’ Mei glowered at him and her nostrils flared. Roadhog was now watching with interest making a wager with himself if this small woman had it in her to knock Junkrat out cold.
My.name.is.Mei, she said, gritting her teeth.
‘Jamison. But I'm gonna call you Frosty cos it suits ya.’
‘You certainly suit Junkrat!’
‘Yeah…? I'm not arguing that.’
‘Do you even know what you did? Do you even care?’
‘Oh for fucks sake woman, so I went into a lab and touched some stuff, had a lil spinny on a chair. Not like I fucking broke anything!’
‘You insulted my work!’
‘....I did?’
'You know damn well you did!’ She shouted, pointing in his face ‘ You don't know me! You don't know how much i've given to Overwatch, what i've lost. Sure maybe now my work is not priority but atleast im here trying to make a difference and working toward a better world! Not blowing it up!’
He casually tested a joint in one of his metal fingers with a disinterested look on his face before responding to her outburst, ‘...Ya done?’ He said, sounding bored. Roadhog was now watching with keen interest, certain his partner was about to be suckerpunched. From this small woman it would be hilarious. But to his disappointment she didnt. What she did next surprised even herself let alone Junkrat. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down so that they were eye level and then spoke in a deadly, quiet voice.
'Mock my work again or make me feel inadequate and I will freeze you on the spot and impale you with an icicle between the eyes and into that messed up brain of yours.’ She glared at him for good effect before pushing him away and straightening up with an air of dignity, she quickly gave an anxious look toward Roadhog and walked away, both Junkers watching her leave until she disappeared from view.
‘Nicely done.’ Roadhog said sarcastically.
‘Fuck off, she came here looking for a fight. I didn't do nothing!’
‘Liar.’
‘Honestly, she does weather or some shite and made a joke. Not my fault she's sensitive!’
‘Well you obviously made an impression.’
‘Pfft! Like I give a shit what Frosty the big-titted snowman thinks.’ He slumped down once again, crossing his arms and sulking, he was quiet for a time processing what the hell had just happened. Soon enough his eyebrows raised and a roguish grin creeped across his face.
‘Hey Hog..?’
‘Hmm?’
‘She has got fucking big tits though ain't she mate!’
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carryoncastiel · 5 years
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15x06 - “Golden Time” thoughts
Pre-thoughts: Back from work so new episode time! Apparently this is a Sam-centric episode (love me those) and I know Dean and Cas are gonna have an awkward phone call. Other than that I dont know what happens and I’m excited to find out!!!
Recap: Destiel breakup und Sam killing Rowena.Yup this is gonna be fun.
I have the episode with narration again and the narrartor immediately spoils that this is Rowena’s apartment. Though the big out of focus portrait is a dead giveaway...
Honestly I don’t even hear the narrator over the music when the witch throws Rowena’s stuff on the floor. If you’re visually impaired idk if this is even actually helpful
Well witch lady, shouldn’t have touched Rowena’s stuff. Now you’re dead  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Some blurry something walks by behind Sam in the bunker. Eileen is that you?
Dean walks in with his comfy robe and hot dog PJs. It would be cute if it wasn’t sad.
Dean ate a whole box of cereal. Well the munching away your feelings continues. ...And he’s binge watching Scooby Doo. I mean I never had a breakup but I’m sure I’d eat comfort food and watch my favorite show all day too.
CAAAS <3
The shop owner calls him Clarence. So Cas is not in the mood to use the typical Winchester fake name right now instead opting for the nickname Meg gave him. Oh Cas :(
Apparently Cas has been fishing. I’m sure there is some interesting meta meaning to this.
“I had a friend who praised fishing for it meditating qualities” Not sure if he’s talking about Dean here but I assume he is. Which makes this even more sad because “I HAD a friend”...D:
Cas isn’t even looking for a case instead the shop owner tells him about a dead boy they found. So he’s just been alone fishing to deal with his feelings which didn’t really seem to work. Oh NOO ;__;
We never see Sam jogging and it’s a shame! 
Eileen!!! 
The hellhound that killed Eileen dragged her to hell. I’m not OK!
Eileen doesn’t want to turn into a vengeful spirit so she asks Sam and Dean to maybe put in a good word with the angels. WELL...that might be a problem...
Dean tells her even if they tried she can’t go to heaven and Sam looks the way I’m feeling right now
Sam is pissed Dean just outright told her. Understandable. Dean is all like “Sucks but that’s how it is” Yikes
I want someone to hug Sam so bad he’s having a really rough time here. Seeing Eileen in this state and now having to go to Rowena’s place. :(
And Dean is like “Yeah you do that” and walks away. Dude.
He thinks nothing they do matters anyway so why care. This is fine...
Cas is at the sheriff’s office but the dude gets his hair cut on tuesdays so he’s not there. What can you do.
The woman sitting there thinks her son is missing too and no one will help her. Cas can’t say no to her of course.
This Sam and Eileen conversation is too sad for meeee *sobs* 
(For some reason the narrator is now talking about “Dean” instead of Sam when they enter Rowena’s apartment. Real professional narration.)
Two witches sit in a van outside and spy on Sam and Eileen in the apartment. But one has purple eyes like Rowena. Did she already get the Book of the Damned?
Back with Cas and the Sheriff is back and being annoyed with the woman looking for her son. Sure maybe not many people go missing in that little town but if one kid shows up dead the night before that should mayyyyybe ring some alarm bells?
Cas is kinda getting pissed at the sheriffs don’t-care attitude. (I’d be too.) 
Dude wants to talk to a supervisor so Cas got no choice but to call some Winchester phone. 
Of course it’s Dean answering the call and from the looks of it Cas is really hoping its not him...
I kinda wanna reach through the screen and throttle Dean right now... Apologize to your husband dammit! 
Cas wipes his eye after Dean hangs up. THIS IS FINE. AGAIN.
If you’re searching for some secret witch stash being a ghost is kinda helpful
Sam sees Rowena’s secret room and that she kept journals until the end. We see his face and the narrator deadass goes “Sam tries to smile through the pain” CAN YOU NOT
“You miss her”, Eileen also saw that pain. 
Rowena worked on a spell to resurrect Mary without a body. HELP. MY ROWENA FEELS.
She never finished it but Sam is confident he can do it. And bring Eileen back! (PLEASE. Don’t get my hopes up show!)
Detective!Cas montage. He even has a pen behind his ear. I’m so proud.
Sam is getting the same treatment as the witch from the beginning. Those other witches don’t wanna share. He at least gets to sign for Eileen to find Dean before she gets poofed away by the witch.
Appararently Rowena’s apartment his hexed but it didn’t affect Sam. She left all her things to him....And here are the feels again...
The witch clearly doesn’t know who Sam is or she would’ve gone for his deal.
Cas is up at the lake where people went missing and the woman from before followed him to help with the search. From the promo pics I know this is gonna get bloody....
The witch (who looks more like a typical ghost with her black hair) who is making sure Sam gets the stuff they want didn’t really like the dead witch (her sister it seems). She made her life hell. Well thanks for telling us you’re obviously gonna turn on your mother later on to stop the resurrection.
Cas and the woman (Nelly or something?) walk through the woods. “Thanks for doing this on your vacation” Oh lady, if only you knew.
Cas tries to prepare Nelly for something horrible that might have happened to her son but surprise they just find him sitting behind some rocks. Well this is convenient.
Sam almost convinces Emily to take Rowena’s stuff and leave him the spell. But then she stabs the voodoo doll. This is gonna end bad for you Emily.
The Sheriff is the monster (a djinn) at the lake. I am SHOCKED.
The djinn shoots Cas but it just pisses him off more. 
“It’s always you. You selfish little men in positions of authority. You take what you want, you take who you want. You believe your power will protect you. But it won’t protect you from me.” Ok apart from this being an amazing bamf!Cas scene this is obviously forshadowing Cas being the one who will fuck Chuck’s shit up and I’m so here for it!
Dean comes to the rescue! But the dead witch is also joining the fun. This calls for a witch vs Eileen ghost off!
Sam kills the witch mother with a hex bag and spell. “I learned from the best”. AHHHHH
Cas heals the boy’s ankle but it clearly takes a lot out of him. 
Nelly “This is a miracle. Were you sent by God?” 
Cas is like “You know what - it’s better if you don’t know what a massive dick God actually is”
“If I stay nothing changes. It’s time for me to get back into the game.” Damn right. My boy is back!
They actually have a nice big bathtub in the bunker? Fic writers rejoice!
OMG SHE’s ACTUALLY BACK ;______;
Narrator about Sam: “He turns around, overcome with emotion” YOU STOOOOOOP
OMGOMGOMGOMG *sobs*
THIS IS THE BEST I’M SO SAD AND HAPPY AND AHHHHHHHHH
Cut to Dean sitting all alone.... Well you’ve got some work to do before you get to hug your love again....
Dean: “So you’re some kinda witch now”. Sam: “Nah I just got lucky”. Sam please. You’re definitely a witch now. Be proud of that.
Dean just doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not and it’s driving him crazy. Ah my poor boy.
Sam is all confident now they’ll gonna beat god “Cause we are the guys who break the rules”. Well you’re one rulebreaker short...
Dean is not really there yet.
Sorry this got so long *coughs* But pheeeeew that was an episode. Saileen came back with full force and all the Sam and witch!Sam and Rowena feels right with them. And Cas is back in the game too. And Dean is still all sad. Meredith Glynn really knocked it out of the park with this one!
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nikatyler · 5 years
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Oooh boy. Why do I feel like I should go straight to the replies, or else I will start talking about having a crush again? No one cares, I’m annoying, I’m sorry. Yesterday around midnight, I actually caved and told my best friend because I just couldn’t keep my feelings to myself any longer, and I was pleasantly surprised by her reaction. I didn’t want to tell her at first because we kinda tend to turn this kind of stuff into jokes, but I guess she did figure out that this time, it’s serious serious - THERE WE GO I’M OVERSHARING AGAIN I AM AN IDIOT. Anyway did I mention I love her? I don’t deserve her. She’s the best, you guys don’t even know her but I just wanted to give her a little shoutout because damn, thanks for yesterday, I thought I would explode. Also, she has an important exam in a week, so if you could send positive vibes her way, that would be great.
By the time you’re seeing this replies, I think I’m playing with Realm of Magic. I’m so excited! Last time I bought a pack on release day was with Seasons. I’m not sure who I will play this with yet. Maybe with Lucian and his girlfriend. I really hope you can somehow turn an alien into a spellcaster, even if that means he’d no longer be an alien. I don’t mind that. Whoops, hold on, was that a spoiler? Yeah, uh, Lucian is a teenager in my game at the moment, he has a girlfriend and he’s not very alien-y and I don’t care about that. Honestly…when have my aliens ever been alien-y? Miracle was the only one and she hated that (and 2019 Ronnie hates that she hated that but 2017 Ronnie didn’t know any better, long story).
Witches are something I’ve wanted in this game for a long time, so they better be good or else I’ll cry. Next up…I know everyone wants university, and I think we’ll get it, but to be fair, I don’t care about it that much. I’ll be playing university irl so I guess that makes sense. 😂 I would really like something like a band game pack, where you can form a band and have concerts and write music and…just do musician stuff, I guess. I was hoping bands would be added in Get Famous but nah, it was pretty much just acting…which I still haven’t explored. 🤦‍♀️ But yeah, band game pack is like my dream. I’m guessing it could be retro themed too, and have many references to some iconic bands?? Imagine if it was like 70s-80s inspired. Imagine THE HAIR. Did I mention I will defend weird 80s hair until the day I die? Yeah. I would really love that. I’m not saying I think a pack like this will happen, but it would be an absolute dream if it did.
TL;DR: I have a crush, I’m playing Realm of Magic and I want a band themed game pack.
autistichatkid replied to your post “Oh wow guess who’s putting nsb on long lifespan because even though…”
psa: you can use mccc to customize lifespan length!!! i dont like how fast normal goes but long is like. So Long. so i use mccc to make everything just a Lil Longer
I know you can do that, I don’t know how but it’s possible, yes! I’m not sure if I want to go for that though, I mean MCCC breaks with almost every update and knowing me, I would forget to fix my settings every single time. I think I’ll just use ea’s long lifespan and then age up people when I feel like aging them up.
desira-sims replied to your post “hey years ago you said you liked symphonic metal, do you still listen…”
Care to share some of your favorites? I’ve been in a music listening mood but feel in a rut.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “hey years ago you said you liked symphonic metal, do you still listen…”
I also don’t listen to e. g. often nowadays and… Their latest album was not my cup of tea except for song or two. And my music preference is now “whatever pleases my ears” even if it will make anyone else’s ear bleed��
Yeah sure, I can share my faves from 2-3 years ago! I’m not saying “from the genre” because I know some of these aren’t that symphonic, at this point it’s all a blur to me, to be fair. Besides, I stopped caring about genres, so…yeah. Just pointing that out so no one comes for me like “how dare you say band xy is that genre”. 
Anyway, 2-3 years ago I really loved Nightwish, Within Temptation and Sonata Arctica, those were like my holy trinity, I would listen to them all the time, every single day. The latest WT album wasn’t really my cup of tea, I like their older stuff way more. SA released a new album last week, I kinda liked it but it wasn’t love at first listen. I’ll have to go back to form an opinion on it. Again, their older stuff is better in my opinion. Nightwish…I don’t know if it’s still going on, but people really liked comparing the three different singers they’ve had, and I don’t know why, I think they’re all amazing in their own way. I believe I’ve read on Instagram that new album is coming next year and I’m so excited for that. I don’t think there’s a Nightwish album I disliked.
I also really liked Delain and…Stratovarius, I think it was called? One summer I also listened to Epica a lot, but then all their songs started sounding the same to me. Sorry to any Epica fans that might be following me 😅 And I’m fairly sure I’m forgetting someone, but I believe there should be playlists on Spotify easy to find.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Updates”
Unfortunately I didn’t manage to create a possible spouse(( but I hope there’ll be other possibilities!XD
And good luck!
There definitely will be! Lately, I kinda hate every sim I create, sooo…I’ll leave that for someone else :D
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “That morning, when Vanessa was leaving for work, I had a bad feeling….”
I don’t like this!
I didn’t think this would freak people out so much…but it did…and I’m really sorry :D
1o8percent replied to your photoset “Roxanne: Maybe if I go to bed, it’ll just come to me in a dream. I…”
I’ve definitely had story ideas come to me in a dream. I got several ideas for my completed legacy that way, so good luck Roxanne!
When I’m writing something late at night and I get stuck, it actually helps me to turn off the computer and go think about the story in bed. And ta-da, I suddenly get ideas! Some of them get lost as soon as I fall asleep, but usually the right direction stays in my head and I’m ready to pick it up as soon as I sit down to write again.
igglemouse replied to your photoset Roxy, the interaction said “feel tummy”, not “take the baby out of…”
She just can’t wait to meet her new sibling XD
That’s actually terrifying D:
brightlysimming replied to your post “I got a hug from a girl I barely know and now I’m emo, I already love…”
Aa!! That’s so great! I’m happy you had a good time!!
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I got a hug from a girl I barely know and now I’m emo, I already love…”
Congratulations! I hope you’ll have fun there! ��
I’m still not over that last weekend. Everyone was so nice and kind and fun and I loved talking to these people so much, uni will be great with them ;-; 
The best surprise to me was that there was this person, and they would come to me a few times and ask if I wanted to hang out with them away from the drunk crowds?? (we’re Czech, of course 95% of people who went to that trip got drunk in the evening -_- :D) And that was just so nice? I’m not used to people wanting to hang out with me. Also, we had great time together, if they called now I would quit everything to hang out with them :D
I’m about to start crying again. To all you lonely people struggling out there, trust me, it gets better, you’re not always going to be lonely and miserable. I thought that would be my case, but nope, things are starting to look better. And they will eventually start looking better for you too, I just know it. Don’t give up <3
lilleputtu replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”
she’d look so cute with short hair! also it’s the sims, she can insta regrow it it’ll be fiiiiine
elisabettasims replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”
One of the best things I ever did was put Cassandra Goth in a pixie cut. Doooo eeeet.
autistichatkid replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”
������
deathflowertea replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”
1 & 4 are ��
I think it’s official, we’ll be chopping Sunset’s hair off, yay!
desira-sims replied to your photoset “Meet the Teens! These guys will join my two girls, Crystal and…”
School and real life comes first, but I’ll be excited to see these simmies pop up when the time comes. ��
So am I! I’m not sure what to do right now. I want to play RoM, but when I come back to my NSB…do I finish Sunset’s generation requirements first, or do I just slowly start throwing these teens in? Kind of like I started working on Ross’s aspiration when it was technically still the Mint gen. Eh, I’ll figure it out.
tashsim replied to your post “URL Song Tag”
have to get up at 5:30 for a next month. feel your pain..
That’s not great D: I think I’d have to do that too, if I wasn’t moving to a dorm in Prague later this month. Spending so much time on the train and having to wake up so early would kill me.
elisabettasims replied to your post “Ahh, of course. I kinda forgot that I would get tan in summer, today I…”
I feel this on a personal level.
I kinda never had to deal with this before because I’ve been using foundation only for a year or so. And I’m fairly sure I’m using a lighter one now, because I definitely didn’t feel like a vampire last September :D
toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Scarlett: “I saw you helped extinguish the flames too.” Talia: “I…”
talia… wyd
toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Scarlett: “Well, uhh, you didn’t mess up, so…” Talia: “I’ll stay, but…”
TALIA… WYD
toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Meanwhile the contestants who have nothing to worry about gathered…”
talia you might be safe this time but you definitely should NOT be thinking you have nothing to worry about after… Earlier
I hate how this turned out D: I’ve noticed that sims in my game aren’t fond of the “enthuse about…” interactions. And then it ruins things like this.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Madeleine: “Yes! Did you see that? Today must be my lucky day!”
Don’t boast too much, love!
She’s really doing great though! Maybe she didn’t make the best first impression, but she’s been working really hard ever since.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “We didn’t start the fire It was always burning Since the world’s been…”
What’s the name of the song? I love everything connected to fireXD
It’s “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel! Warning: It’s super catchy.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “I absolutely fell in love with these cute pants some time ago but I…”
I think I will overuse these pants now:D So thank you for introducing them in the first place:D And for shoutout!
I was glad to help! And… I remember those girls!
Thank youuu! I’m a “high waisted everything” kinda girl, so of course I had to recolour these so I could use them even more often. And I’m glad that I’m not the only one, I mean, the reblogs and likes on this post are insane.
And yay, glad you remember them! Juliet and Amber were easier to recognize, I guess, but the other two, Lily and Lavender…I haven’t posted them too much, ever. I forgot how pretty they were *-* I will definitely use them as my models for recolours and stuff.
dandylion240 replied to your post “I didn’t expect to come up with a whole backstory for Caleb and…here…”
I like your ideas for him though
Thank you so much! I’ve been seeing him on my dash a lot lately, so it’s kinda weird seeing like three different versions of him at once, especially when someone makes him do things my version of him would never do :D
whysimstho replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”
#5 Sunset signs here dad up for Simdr #6 it’s lit
1o8percent replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”
I’m intrigued by the last one.
desira-sims replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”
I don’t approve of the second one. No tears! I’ll gladly take more of the 4th and get the feeling she’s a little tired of seeing it all the time. Fire is also bad, but I guess the conversation was to good to stop. And that last one. Oh that’s great.
dandylion240 replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”
Why is Ross crying? Nothing better have happened to Caleb
*evil laughter*
I love how you guys assume the worst. I mean, I’m not surprised. I tend to accidentally kill my sims a lot this year. Well, you’ll find out very soon what is actually going on in these!
Also, just a side note, that child in picture #4 is Lucian and he’s not a girl, but I will admit he looks like one (and I’m fairly sure he knows that too and is okay with that, I mean, if he didn’t want to look like that, he’d beg for a haircut), so no worries. Just throwing it out there.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Oh, try to do Salim Benali!”
Aw he looks adorable! It makes me love him even more,
elisabettasims replied to your post “Oh, try to do Salim Benali!”
Salim is hard because he’s already pretty good looking, etc. He’s the dad of one of my sims who I did a BC with and founded my legacy on her, LOL(Anissa Hoffmann, she has her mom’s last name). Though I guess REALLY Salim and her mother are the founders but, I didn’t start a legacy until after her BC.
I agree, he’s definitely one of the few miracle townies who don’t need fixing.
Also, thank you!
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Ugh, I hate this already. Can I go back to being an adorable evil…”
You can be an adorable evil child instead!
Oh, she will be.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Gwyneth: “Ready to age up, sweetie?” Avery: oh mum you bet”
Why is Gwyneth so cute I can’t even describe it!
Her cute face is the only reason why I thought “well, I could try a BPR I guess…”
Seriously. I’ve never really cared about berries, I’ve always prefered vanilla sims and berries were just something I created in cas from time to time and then never touched again. I still prefer vanilla sims and kinda doubt I’ll ever start another berry save.
elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Right…so now you’re a middle aged mum with a midlife crisis and a…”
I HATE THAT STUPID HAIR AND HOW IT SHOWS UP ON EVERYONE WHEN THEY AGE UP. *coughcough* Sorry. Had a bad flashback seeing that.
I hate it so much too! But actually, wanna hear a deep dark secret? I once used it on a sim…unironically. Like I actually thought it was cute.
I was 11 though, so that makes it okay, I think. I hope.
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readbythestarlight · 6 years
Text
c2e30 (I’m very late and I know it but here it is anyway)
I’m almost a week late but hey that’s fine let’s do this!
Still miss Ashley but I’m gad Travis and Laura are back!
I also miss Keg
I’m so glad they fucked Lorenzo up. I’m sorry for Matt’s plans but fuck that guy.
“Enduring it silently” Yasha my girl
“Case closed” cool make me cry again that’s fine
Nott just has no fucks to give for Fjord xD
Oh, Yasha, my girl.
"I have healing I have healing who are you I have healing" oh sure Jester NOW you wanna heal
“Where’s Molly?” FUCK it’s fine I’m fine
“is he waiting upstairs?”
“He didn’t make it.”
“To… this dungeon? Cause he’s waiting upstairs?”
IT’S FINE IM NOT CRYING
Fjord sounds so exhausted someone hug him
Everyone’s sad I’m sad I don’t wanna live with this again
Fjord. Honey. It’s not your fault.
God Fjord and Jester and Yasha are going to have such a rough time healing and moving on…
This is really hard… like. My heart hurts.
“We learned for the future. This won’t happen again, understand me?”
“Nothing this good ever happens, this is great.” I love him. He’s sweet and he tries.
Jester and Beau back at the cute BFF banter already
B: “I would have laid down my life for you guys.”
J: “I would have tried to heal you back.”
Oh lord guys you can’t just make butt jokes in the middle of my crying.
Oh damn, I forgot Molly and Fjord shared a room the most often. Poor Fjord.
“It’s probably stolen.”
“People need killin’ if that happens.”
Them talking about Molly possibly coming back like that’s what we’re all still hoping for please don’t pull my heartstrings like this.
And the Fjord/Jester train rolls on again. They wasted no time.
“Oooooo, ooooo! That’s all I need to know.”
“INSIGHT CHECK”
oh my god Sam xD
WHISPERS
“Fuck human traffickers, ammiright?” You are so right.
“Please bring me any books” Caleb’s priorities back in place again
Cad cooking food I love him
Matt plz chill with the torture stuff
I love how they’re always finding random potions
Godddd Lorenzo’s chamber…
“Some young creature” it’s a baby Matt just say it
Bag of holding?? IT IS A BAG OF HOLDING?
YAAAS
Please no body parts please no body parts…
Fjord checking the room for books <3
I want Fjord and Caleb to get back to being bros man I miss that so hard
Fuck I forgot Caleb was still injured Jester plz heal him
I adore Cad you guys. Adore him.
“Roots.”
“Do I smell anything…? Nah it smells like breakfast fuck it I go back down” xD Travis
A long rest sounds like a good idea, but is the fortress safe?
“WHAT’S THAT NEW MAGIC YOU USED?” SAAAAM LOL
Cad is gonna be the weird uncle of the team who keeps them all fed and relatively healthy
I’m curious about the bag and what all it can do and stuff
lol Fjord just spilled everything out
“I have deep arcane abilities” lol Fjord
101 PLATINUM NICE
Ooooo a gem!
Oh daaaamn wax sealed envelope
AN ACTUAL ENVELOPE
okay what is it….
omg could they collect anyone 101 platinum?
Oooo Wayfairer’s Cove? Is it Pirates?? Please be pirates.
Also does that mean they’ll go to Nicodranus?
OH.
OH SHIT.
FJORD HAS ONE. IN HIS STOMACH.
“You have 50 rings, do you have a glass bead?”
Nott has the most amazing collection of stuff
Ouch, 5 intelligence check
Fjord my darling why are you collecting a tusk?
Also guys i’m over my annoyance with Fjord I missed him so much he’s back to being one of my faves
“HEY LOOK WHAT I MADE :D” Caleb my son he’s so proud and happy look at him
He’s been working on it so he can protect his friends I’m crying
Cad just makes me smile every time he speaks. Taliesin just knows how to cheer me up with every character he makes.
I can’t believe Caleb actually managed to make them a small “home” they can move just like he wanted I’m so proud of him
NOTT PLZ
Jester dragging Yasha in lol
Niiiice magic potion and magic red gem
bad magic manacles no
C: “This has great power.”
N: “What is it?”
C: “It’s a meat hook.”
300 bolts nice
Beau looking for something throwable
Those are creepy manacles 0/10
Caleb please stop being weird about fire YOU’RE SCARING ME
“It’s not my thing” hnnn
Beau honey please keep it for him he doesn’t need it right now
Fjord using Molly’s sword is good
DON’T EAT THE GODDAMN SWORD
PLEASE
Fjord’s actual identity is a bag of holding I’ve solved it
BEAU
BEAU NO
beau plz
Oh Jester… oh honey… I’m crying again
“Why didn’t you come?” IT’S FINE
I’m fine
it’s not fine
Bye Keg WE’LL MISS YOU
Letter for Nott I cry
“Oh, a note… It’s really badly written…” Nott plz
That letter I’M CRRRYYYYYING
“p.s. if anyone hurts you I will kill them” <3<3<3<3
Marisha’s face when she looked at the letter I’m crying
Ashley B is the best I miss her so much
Fjord keeping the glaive for Yasha. <3
Cad offering to help dye the bag pink xD
He and Jester are going to be good buddies
C: “I need to head east at some point.”
Cad: “What is east?”
C: “I don’t know. But I’d like to find out.”
B: “He makes dead people tea.”
F: “He makes what?!”
Hmmm okay so what’s making the illusion. the cart itself?
MAGIC ILLUSION CART that could be great
Stealth cart yessss
Happy (late) birthday, Ashley!
Cad should stay with the cart maybe?
They’re very touchy about the cart xD
Ophelia is classy as hell and I don’t trust her but I like her
Oooo smart to remember to bring the glaive Fjord good job
My boy with the Nat20 persuasion ayyyyyyy
No wait we’re keeping it for Yasha
Nice okay good she let them have it
Oh dang I forgot they were supposed to escort her back to Zadesh
“I think ‘hot fuck’ is accurate on a few levels” Beau continues to be THE disaster lesbian
Fjord is creeped out by Cad and I’m loving it
Oh no who’s coming…
Oh okay it’s just the carriages lol I was worried
Stealth check for giggles lol
Money says Beau will try to sleep with Ophelia before the trip is over
SAM NAMED THEM AFTER ABBA SONGS omg I’m crying
Oh oh oh a crick person. What were they called?
J: “Shady deals happening!”
Cad: “Oh is that what that is? I’ve never seen one before.”
Okay we’re in the slums this is where something is going to happen
Driving through slums in fancy carriages is bad
Frumpkin is gone sadly
Oooo Jester has a fancy new spell? Nice
“Next time you use it maybe it will have a purpose” xD harsh, Nott.
Oooo some Beau and Caleb talk! It’s been a few weeks. And yesss give us some Beau backstory!
“Why are you running around with criminals? And me?” Caleb you are just as much a criminal as the rest of them
Beau and Caleb’s friendship and their conversations are my fave
I SAW SPOILERS ABOUT WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN AND IM NOT OKAY
is his coat there
HIS COAT IS THERE
thank god
I’m not ready for this
Taliesin looks like he might cry, I’m gonna cry, everyone’s gonna cry
Letting Taliesin choose which card Jester pulled I’m weeping
the same card she pulled when they met I’m sobbing now
Fjord with Summer Dance I’m just. A wreck.
Yasha wakes up AT MOLLY’S GRAVE THIS ISN’T OKAY
“What’s going on” noPE MATT HOW DARE
Oh Yasha my dear oh god
“It happened again” stop please I beg you
She didn’t even get to help kill Lorenzo
Oh, oh, Yasha…
Oh fuck.
Oh. Oh, my heart.
She doesn’t even have her sword.
Caleb and Nott please don’t make me cry either
TALIESIN DONT
IM
I CANNOT
He’s gone.
He’s really, forever, never coming back, gone.
“I made the earth remember him. Something will be here.”
Like… like I had this vague hope that somehow he’d come back, ten, twenty episodes from now. Hell, maybe close to the end, he’d just come back. He’d return to life and maybe he wouldn’t remember at first, but they’d help remind him who he is. But no… he’s gone. Tal gave him the best goodbye he could.
C: “Come, everyone. Molly wanted us to keep living.”
B: “And make things better.”
I’m glad they all got to say goodbye but my god, none of them had ever die, because I can’t handle anything like this ever again.
Goodbye, Molly. For real this time.
“Those ideas I had have come to fruition” oh god what does that mean
Caleb worries me
New feat is cool but he still worries me
Ophelia and the Gentleman, huh?
PFFF SHE BIT HIM. kinky.
I like Ophelia more and more tbh
Cad just grins
also the Gentleman doesn’t have Cad’s blood that’s probably good
Hey @ the Gentleman don’t be a dick “that’s just the way of it” i’m gonna kick you
LOL Nott and the moisture thing again I’m cackling
How much money? I don’t remember
“mostly platinum” O_O
600 platinum NICE
250 gold
6250 alksjdlaksjflkjsdhfkjasdhg
+50 platinum for the loss of Molly HE WAS WORTH SO MUCH MORE HE WAS PRICELESS
Nott explaining “money” to Cad lol
“I can’t think of four things I’d like to get, that’s nice.”
A tea set, a skillet, more cups.
Fuck okay he’s gonna get his blood sigh
WHISPERRRSSSSS
Cad and his bugs alksjdlkas
I’m actually glad that Caleb lied about Molly… I’m not sure why but I’m just glad. Molly didn’t want to be tied to Lucien, even in death.
Metagaming pigeon lol
GO SEE PUMAT SOL I just want him to meet Cad desperately
Tal rolling to determine how Cad feels about milk lol
Tal wants to strangle Sam/Nott for their tragic lack of knowledge (r their total deception) about how whiskey is made lol
Introducing Cad to alcohol lol
Fjord is so baffled whenever people flirt with him I love it
“Here is to fucking making it work” <3
Beau I don’t think he wants to talk about it, darling
Alright Fjord needs a goddamn hug. Like a big one.
They think Jester is fine but guys she’s not fine keep an eye on her. This is how she copes but she’s gonna fall apart. There are cracks.
Caleb is right about her. She’s suffering.
Cad: “I’ve had six drinks. I’m in the biggest city I’ve ever been in. Everything tastes TERRIBLE.”
N: “Have you not thrown up yet?”
Cad: “Is that part of the—are you supposed to?”
Oh boy intruding Jester to alcohol too let her be sweet and innocent and not a useless drunk like all of you smh
Jester is going to have so much fun introducing Cad to pastries
“What’s a smut shop?” Oh lord.
C: “To that purple devil. To Mollymauk Tealeaf.”
B: “And now to our new… tea leaf…”
Travis just suggested shopping the world must be ending
Matt just keeps ducking his head and giggling I love him
Nott my dear you are not subtle
I’m so glad they all back together (minus Yasha—come back soon, Ashley!!). I missed these happy nights of goofiness.
And I’ll always miss you, Mollymauk.
“FOR MOLLY!”
Goblight lol
“Caduceus Clay, we are your destiny!!” xD Caleb
Oooo some downtime episodes coming! Some time to get to know Cad, that’ll be nice.
THEY EACH HAEV OVER 1000 GOLD
amazing
“Just one 10 hour Critical Role episode, please.” Someday, Liam, someday.
Good episode. Good, good episode.
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Joe & Ronnie
Joe: Hi Joe: There's no gentle way of doing this, so I'll just get to it, I'm sorry if you don't want to talk about it but you're free to ignore this if that's the case Joe: but I've been looking for my half-sister, and I think its you Ronnie: if youre basing that on a family resemblance youve shot yourself in the face like Ronnie: reload & keep looking Joe: Yeah, I know Joe: but I ain't Joe: Aside from coming at you with what's on any facebook profile anyway Joe: do you know your biological mum's name or? Ronnie: whos used facebook in a decade thats your 1st fuck up Ronnie: 2nd to reckoning my dna is any of your business Joe: who's putting their date of birth and hometown anywhere else? Joe: you were born in [hospital] right? Ronnie: phone numbers on toilet walls getting played out Ronnie: yeah & Joe: then it is you Joe: everything adds up, you have the right birthday, right place, right last name, and first, still Ronnie: right colour Ronnie: miss me with your schoolboy maths Joe: its your bio dad that's black Ronnie: fuck you i know that Ronnie: read my file well before you stalked me Joe: so do you know her name or nah Ronnie: it was in there Joe: Tess Vickers Joe: she is your mum Ronnie: i came out of her Ronnie: shes not my fucking mum Ronnie: id know you if she was Joe: 'course Joe: that's what I meant Ronnie: pick your words more careful soft lad Joe: she don't have any more Joe: I ain't had to do this before, like Ronnie: made up for her Ronnie: & you Ronnie: only took her how many years to claim her bastards Joe: I don't know why she didn't, only what she's said Joe: but if you wanted to ask her, I could set that up Ronnie: if it took her a bit to recover from goin black i don't need to ask her about that Ronnie: got my own experiences cheers Joe: is there anything you do Ronnie: if i had any questions id have chucked 'em at her when i aged out Joe: fair enough Joe: you wanna ask me anything then Ronnie: you old enough to be cleaning out your mas skeletons & seein if theyll dance for you Joe: not what I'm doing Joe: but I'm 19 Ronnie: course she never kept herself stitched up for long Ronnie: got a taste for it like Joe: by all accounts she met my dad the same year she had to give you up so Ronnie: bet he was proper comforting Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: Must've been Ronnie: if she kept you longer than the hour yeah Joe: I've got 3 brothers and a sister too Ronnie: when did she meet their dads Joe: we've got the same, like Joe: youngest is nearly 5 Ronnie: shes still alive then Ronnie: impressive Joe: is it? Joe: suppose so Ronnie: he got cash your sperm donor Ronnie: less dangerous game that one Joe: they both do alright now but you'd probably aim higher if that was the game you were playing Ronnie: shifting gear aint no game now or back then Ronnie: but she was small time Ronnie: that hand to mouth shit Joe: yeah, for years Joe: her dad's debts not helping none Ronnie: hes gotta be dead Joe: yeah Joe: year I was born Joe: so new mouth to feed and inheriting the neverending debts of John Joe: must've seemed like a great time to have more 'cos my brother is only a year younger than me 👍 Ronnie: least you aint inherited his name Ronnie: like i said insatiable Joe: thank fuck Ronnie: piss poor addiction but fuck it Ronnie: shes keeping 'em fed & clothed this time 👏 Joe: gutted social don't hand out round of applauses no doubt Joe: know she is for a fact 'cos she ended up working for 'em, and fostering two poor kiddies in need Joe: what do you reckon to her addiction now? Ronnie: sounds about right theyd left her Ronnie: state of the cunts running that show Joe: mhmm Ronnie: white kids are easier to love Ronnie: its on the posters like Joe: in theory Joe: but this way she gets to be obsessed with you from afar Ronnie: pay me enough & ill come press my face longingly against her windows Joe: I'll keep it in mind for her birthday or something Ronnie: fuck all else you wanna rock my world with or what Joe: Hmm Joe: hold up whilst I trawl a lifetime of overshare for any more tidbits Ronnie: she aint rotting by the roadside or ashes i can snort means my hearts already broken Ronnie: take your time Joe: sorry to disappoint Joe: suppose by the time you got to your file, it told you she'd run away from Liverpool, yeah? Ronnie: bullshit are you Ronnie: youre loving having another cunt to share it with Ronnie: whats the matter dont your brothers & sister wanna play Joe: I'm the favourite Joe: favourite that's about Joe: they got the gist but no file for them Ronnie: 💔 Joe: you said Joe: so, what you saying, you care if I tell her I found you or what? Ronnie: if it feels good do it baby Ronnie: why would i care Ronnie: shes not gonna show up Joe: what if she did? Ronnie: no fixed address Joe: I've told you she loves a cause Joe: say you don't wanna see her Ronnie: shooting the messenger aint no kill shot Ronnie: youre not invested in me Joe: I'm not not, clearly Joe: I'm the one looking, ain't I Ronnie: let her look under every rock with you Ronnie: i hope one bashes her skull in Joe: alright Joe: I'll pass it on Ronnie: good boy Ronnie: get that sticker on your reward chart Joe: god I hope so Ronnie: 🙏 Joe: Your profile says you're in London, still true? Ronnie: i don't need you at my door either Joe: 🙄 Ronnie: roll your eyes at me again Joe: 🙄🙄 Ronnie: 🖕🖕 Joe: 😏 Ronnie: what the fuck do you want Joe: I've told you Ronnie: nah Ronnie: spit it out Ronnie: youre circling around it stop being a pussy Joe: how am I? Ronnie: what do you want for fucks sake Joe: meet you Ronnie: its not happening Joe: why not Ronnie: i hate that you exist Ronnie: that she got a 2nd chance & i didnt get 1 Joe: that's fair Joe: you can hate me in person Ronnie: i aint goin to prison for killing you Ronnie: you wish Joe: yeah Joe: oh well Ronnie: take your death wish home Ronnie: or on a different part of the internet Joe: awh, cheers for the sisterly advice Ronnie: shut your mouth Ronnie: i ain't your sister Joe: kk Ronnie: dumping all your bullshit on me dont make us related Joe: we are Joe: you not wanting it don't fight biology Ronnie: her not wanting me cancels it all out Joe: not to me Ronnie: i give a shit how you feel Ronnie: youre a stranger with fuck all i want Joe: you ain't checked what I've got Ronnie: until facebook adds income i dont care Joe: 💔 Ronnie: you must look like your da Ronnie: dont be Joe: well you look like her Joe: not that I've seen yours Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont Joe: yeah you do Joe: [sends pics] Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright Joe: catch you around then Ronnie: get it through your head Ronnie: you wont Joe: what you scared for Ronnie: youre having fun trying to mess me up Ronnie: that aint how i get mine Joe: I'm seriously not Joe: I've got the message though, alright Ronnie: youre seriously throwing all this shit at me like im gonna smile as i eat it Ronnie: what the fuck Joe: I don't expect fuck all Joe: I just wanna know you but if you don't then that's alright Joe: I won't message again Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: you aint asked about me Ronnie: you wanna bitch about 'em Joe: that's why I wanna meet you Joe: I've thrown enough questions at you for one convo Ronnie: nah you wanna meet me to see if i proper look like her Joe: I've got eyes Ronnie: if thats what you reckon you see they dont fucking work Ronnie: get down the social & claim Joe: you're fine, its not dead ringer levels Ronnie: im fucking fine cause theres none of her in me Joe: I'm glad for you Ronnie: were not family save your lies Ronnie: i dont need any blows softened Joe: its only me bitching Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: & you can save your tears Ronnie: you already cant see fuck all like Joe: what do you want? Ronnie: too late to give a fuck Ronnie: youve shit over me with this Joe: I'm sorry Ronnie: nah Ronnie: sorry for yourself aint the same Joe: Why would I be sorry for me? Joe: I got everything Ronnie: not how youre framing it Joe: why would you believe me Ronnie: not hard to believe mummy dearest loves me best Ronnie: not like she dumped me fast as she could & legged it Joe: she weren't allowed to keep you, she was 14 with a junkie non-dad to look after you both Ronnie: & what she didnt get any older or get her shit together Ronnie: fuck that Joe: did you want her to come 'round and pick you up 4 years later? Ronnie: she had you cunts instead Joe: so she comes and gets you and the social come with and see the fake bailiffs and the bashed in door and we all go back with you Joe: I see the appeal Ronnie: you reckon i had it better Ronnie: thats what this nancy drew bullshit is about Joe: nice one, genius Joe: in what world is that adding up Ronnie: yours Ronnie: in what world would i have not gone with any cunt to get me out of that place then Joe: I'm telling you why she didn't get you, not telling you why you wouldn't wanna be there Ronnie: youre giving me both Ronnie: cant help yourself Joe: they're the same reason Joe: if she tried to get you, they'd say nah 'cos her life was a mess, simple as Ronnie: & yet here you are Ronnie: not a care kid a single day in your fucking life Ronnie: so like i said she got her shit together in the end Joe: she was 18 when I came around and we got taught how to say the right thing to socials and how to shut our mouths the rest Joe: but that's just what she told me Joe: she probably didn't want you, looking back Ronnie: why would she Ronnie: had a new set up with a cunt that stayed Ronnie: cuter kids Joe: 'cos she loved your da the way only a 14 year old girl can Joe: pro and a con in your favour Joe: does she want the reminders or does she not Ronnie: not Ronnie: youre the only pussy walking memory lane Ronnie: aint her looking Joe: yeah, s'me, so why you chatting at me like I'm the one that fucked you off Joe: not productive Ronnie: cause you are Joe: I've gone to leave loads now Joe: you've clearly got shit to say Joe: so just say it at me, I've already offered that n'all Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: i didnt ask for this Ronnie: she was in the ground for all i knew Joe: she still can be Joe: I ain't telling Ronnie: nah you opened your gob & let all that shite out Ronnie: i couldve been about to slit my throat or pull a shift Joe: you could've easily found out she weren't dead yourself too Ronnie: what should it tell you that i didnt Joe: ignorance ain't such bliss I've tipped you over the edge Ronnie: you dont know shit Ronnie: how does yours feel Joe: how do you think Ronnie: i think you should ask if people have got time & space to spin out before you fuck with their heads Ronnie: i think you should go suck a dick mckenna Joe: why should I? Joe: no one asked me and I owe you shit Ronnie: she owes me Ronnie: youre nothing Ronnie: you dont see me knocking cause im not looking for answers & theres fuck all else to collect by the sounds of it Joe: then fucking collect Ronnie: talk to your ma like that Joe: hit me up when you stop being scared Ronnie: keep it up and ill smash in your face Joe: how Joe: you don't wanna meet Ronnie: dont flatter yourself nancy drew Ronnie: i can still kick your door in Ronnie: be like the baliffs are back Ronnie: you can revisit your childhood Joe: now who wants to go for a jaunt down memory lane Ronnie: you wish Joe: 🙏 Ronnie: i reckon your imaginary friends gotta be sick of your bullshit by now Joe: no doubt, nancy drew Ronnie: we cant both be nancy Joe: alright you be sid then Ronnie: still not gonna kill you baby Ronnie: but youre getting warmer Joe: I know, stalked you, remember Ronnie: get a hobby or habit mckenna Ronnie: your little misery boners aint cute Joe: oh I got plenty of thoses Joe: your concern is, kinda Ronnie: youve thrown me into the big sister deep end Ronnie: sounds like how you want it Joe: very obliging Ronnie: unloved kids get it where they can Ronnie: thats on the back of the poster Joe: trust, I know Ronnie: 💔 Joe: not me Joe: never mind, not my sob story to hit you with Ronnie: you only wanna share yours Joe: maybe when we get cosy I'll divulge all the family secrets, sis Ronnie: maybe if you chat shit like that to me again ill choke on my puke Joe: n'awh Ronnie: kill yourself Joe: sure thing Ronnie: very obliging Joe: it was already in the diary tbh Joe: but I'll pop you in the note if that makes you feel 💘 Ronnie: show me yours & ill show you mine Joe: deal Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: [skippity skip] Ronnie: pick me up Joe: where from Ronnie: [location that's sketchy as all hell] Joe: alright Joe: that should take me 'bout half an hour this time of day Ronnie: im not goin anywhere mckenna Joe: you alright Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: got it Joe: 🚖 📵 Ronnie: important for you to know your place Joe: must be popular with the cabbies 👑 Ronnie: yeah im on a ban Ronnie: look out for my picture hanging Joe: what did you do Joe: vom and not pay the fine one too many times? Ronnie: we taking another trip down memory lane Ronnie: i aint 12 Joe: go on then, what was it Ronnie: the cunt crashed its fuck all to get excited about Joe: did you get hurt? Ronnie: didnt feel it Joe: what about the driver Ronnie: i reckon he felt it Joe: fucked you're stuck with the tube then Joe: 💔 Ronnie: cheers motherfucker Ronnie: cant you drive Joe: 'course I can Joe: where'd your license go, got a story for that and all or? Ronnie: car theft would be a dead good sibling bonding activity Ronnie: but i dont need your help to break a window Joe: another time Ronnie: nah Ronnie: next time some other cunt will pick me up Joe: good thing I didn't specify Joe: tah for keeping me well in the loop of your schedule though Ronnie: other shit in the diary besides blowing my brains out Ronnie: can move it up if you aint gonna shut up Joe: 🤐 Joe: you can keep all your dates Ronnie: made up i am Joe: no need to say thanks, I feel it Ronnie: you wanted to meet up Ronnie: wish granted Joe: I know Joe: reckon blue would suit Ronnie: what Joe: genie Joe: you owe me 2 more, yeah? Ronnie: rubbing me up the wrong way dont count Joe: damn Ronnie: i can do black & blue Joe: changed your mind then Joe: my 🍀 day Ronnie: you got the accent Ronnie: my head cant do subtitles Joe: not really Joe: not proper Joe: some of my younger ones do but they can barely remember Liverpool Ronnie: nothing to be 💔 about Ronnie: its a shithole Joe: least its a shithole with some history Joe: we moved to a newbuild shithole so Joe: win some lose some Ronnie: your boner for history aint that big Joe: you checked what I'm studying? 😏 Ronnie: you dont post about fuck all else Joe: I'm barely outta freshers let me have it Ronnie: dont give me the flu Joe: thought that was just a euphemism Joe: either way, on my life Ronnie: fuck knows Joe: not as much fun as people chat, shockingly Ronnie: what is Ronnie: the shit that feels good is the shit youre meant to keep your mouth shut about Joe: hear hear Ronnie: 💘 Joe: 💘 Joe: you live there or am I picking you up from a mates Ronnie: neither Joe: alright Ronnie: drop me on the other side Joe: no problem Ronnie: then you can go back to wanking over symphonies Joe: you wanna help me with my homework Joe: so nice Ronnie: what are big sisters for Joe: yeah Ronnie: shits fucked up Joe: right Joe: but you can be more specific Ronnie: nah i cant Joe: don't know where to start? Ronnie: it starts with being born Joe: okay, so the starts the easy bit Joe: the middle Joe: we don't have time Ronnie: we aint gonna trauma bond mckenna youve been beaten to it Joe: ah you got a troubled boyfriend Joe: that's cool Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you heard me say i aint 12 Joe: you know what I mean Ronnie: not very nancy drew if you reckon im that bitch Joe: we can't both be sid Ronnie: touche baby Joe: 💘 Ronnie: im gonna carve up this cunt if you dont pull me out Ronnie: & thatll make him feel too special Joe: who? Joe: I'm nearly there Ronnie: my not boyfriend Ronnie: dont waste romance like that on strangers Joe: sensible Joe: just carve anything but 💘 and he shouldn't get too clingy Ronnie: whats the symphony that gets you off fastest Ronnie: ill do that Joe: Khachaturian's Sabre Dance works as a play on words and should get him to crescendo 👌 Ronnie: hot Joe: orchestra nerds get all the bitches Ronnie: yeah Joe: you aren't a catfish, are you Joe: I mean, I'll recognize you Ronnie: look for your mas face Joe: fuck it, therapy overdue anyway Ronnie: fuck you for saying that Ronnie: making it go round my head Joe: I shouldn't have said that Ronnie: i should stab you Ronnie: all these pieces of mirror Ronnie: fuck him Joe: you can, long as you keep it shallow, or don't mind swinging by the hospital Ronnie: i dont get my kicks at a&e Joe: you'll have to play nice then Ronnie: youll get too clingy Joe: avoid the 💘 Ronnie: some other bitch can have the honours Joe: or has Joe: don't I seem 💔 Ronnie: dont need to hear how you lost your virginity mckenna Joe: noted Joe: save that trip down memory lane for private time Joe: me and mozart Ronnie: explains a shit ton if the conductor is molesting you Ronnie: but not gonna be the sister who tells him where to put that stick he waves about Joe: Mozart was pretty fucked up but I don't reckon it went that far Ronnie: i dont know him 💔 Ronnie: there was a Moz here earlier fuck knows if theyre any relation Joe: You're more a Liszt type, called it Ronnie: what the fuck kind of fuck you is that Joe: 😂 Joe: actually he's considered the world's first rock star, I was being nice Ronnie: shut up Joe: what, you ain't seen the ken russell film with daltrey in? Joe: have a word Ronnie: get a life Joe: tomorrow Joe: maybe Ronnie: i cant fucking believe it had to be you Ronnie: thank fuck i already aint showing my face here again Joe: thought you said you weren't 12 Joe: but I don't need to come in if you don't wanna be embarrassed in front of your mates Ronnie: i said my mates aint here Joe: no need to tell me why you're there Ronnie: where the fuck are you Joe: just got out, 5 minutes Ronnie: i need to get out Ronnie: move it like Joe: alright Joe: come find me then, make it go faster Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: what's wrong Ronnie: if my body would do what it was told i wouldnt need you Ronnie: cant even paint you a fucking picture Joe: right Ronnie: theres a shit load of stairs yeah Ronnie: i cant do 'em Joe: if you're fat I swear to god Ronnie: calm your tits nancy drew Ronnie: you know thats bullshit Joe: I'll trust you ain't catfishing then Ronnie: thats my next tat Ronnie: all for you baby Joe: sweet Ronnie: hurry up Joe: I am Joe: [show up boy] Ronnie: [when you're just there like damsel in distress which ain't you so it makes it more awks] Joe: [what a first meeting just having to carry her away from god knows where like] Ronnie: [just like we don't know each other but just carry me to your vehicle thanks] Joe: [just doing it silently like this is normal] Ronnie: [since I cant find a pic she should go get that tattoo now just casually drag him along] Joe: [once you get the use of your limbs back lol] Ronnie: [lbr its blatantly someone sketchy she knows the state of them all] Joe: [god bless] Ronnie: [when I know its gotta go on her face somewhere cos #triggered by looking like Tess and I'm just screaming like NOOO] Joe: [my boo is horrified and Joe too] Ronnie: [soz you're so cute bitch and you wanna look so ugly] Joe: [lowkey dread to think how annoying the heal time is on a face tat] Ronnie: [blasting that orchestra bop he mentioned earlier as loud as poss cos yeah you searched for it and yeah you don't wanna hear your thoughts or have a convo] Joe: [when you don't run like you should 'cos you too are a crazy person] Ronnie: [match made in heaven lol] Joe: [🔥😈] Ronnie: [does he have any tattoos I have forgotten] Joe: [Oh, I don't think so??? but he probably would in a self-destructive manner too, as long as they could be hidden like his self-harm like go ahead] Ronnie: [just thinking get one now if you want boy #bonding] Joe: [yolo] Ronnie: [ooh what should it be] Joe: [the real question, hmm] Ronnie: [perfect excuse to be staring at each other while that's happening though cos you can't be moving all about] Joe: [but of course] Ronnie: [Joe can move around more cos not on his fucking head but] Joe: [probably get a cherry or something for the lols] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph]
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tohrusthoughts · 6 years
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Entitlement.
The problem with social media and game development is that in the beginning of all this.
People made games and design choices with a through abd through complete package. Yes. Developers made games so that people can enjoy them to the fullest. But it was done in the sense of a novel or a movie.
Once it came out. And experienced it was already out. There was no changing, there was no listening to fan feedback or social justice mediocrity. That was to be adjusted and adapted and made better in the sequel or the next game by the developer.
You can't please everyone, it isnt even fucking quantifiable to attempt it. But you could attempt to make the best product possible and see your intended story and character development through and through with the use of an interactive medium and a type of experience that is impossible to get with anything else.
Now. With the abillity to interact with developers and content creators on easily accesible platforms. The idea is that we can give them feedback on things were looking forward to or would like to see happen. What ideas are good, what ideas are bad.
The innate problem is how oppinionated human beings are. Every single individual believes that the way they see things is the only singular way to view an outlook over design. And some people can share this "singular outlook." Collaborate the notion with no challenging approach or alternative perspective. What they intially see and or think is the only way....cause they didn't like it.
This negative outlook will continously be reinforced either by lack of desire or more commonly by other people who are similiar minded and just go "Yeah thats right! Fuck this thing I don't like it."
Well let me be real with you for a second.
I don't care.
The developers shouldn't care.
No one. Should care that you don't like a design choice or a storypath that you disagree with or don't like.
The reason I state this is as entertainment goes. You're developing a product. Whether its niche or not it fits a specific style and audience. This is defined by genres.
People who like rpg's more often then not, don't like shooters or action games. (Or atleast not in the same way as you can like multiple genres). The point of mentioning this is that when formulating a product within a genre it follows a set of mediums and thoroughfares that fit into that genre as all of these things have been predefined at this point with tropes and junk.
And secondly(but technically more importantly) they follow the creator/developers vision. Their storylines, character concepts, gameplay types, etc. etc. Its their individual vision and ideas become realities.
Not.
Yours.
You didnt make it.
You in fact didn't have anything to do with it.
At best you are exactly as intended a fan.
Fans when it comes down to the bare basics. Do not get to decide what a developer should and should not do with their vision. Whether you as the individul, as the fan, as a collective, or alone like it or hate it with every fiber of your being.
When it comes down to it. Truthfully. Even as a fan and something happens within a medium or a product you just, barebones morally disagree with. Stop supporting it. Move on.
What you shouldn't do. I want to say can't but thats never gonna be the case at this point....shouldn't do is harass, be vile, or hateful, send death threats or the worse style of harassment to people who
A. do enjoy these choices and can find some sense of joy or fun from the product.
Or worse B. do this to the developers.
Telling someone they should go die because of blah and blah is flat morally wrong and makes you a shit person and not worthy of an ear to listen to.
And No. you can't call blabbering like a child over your distaste as criticism.
Criticism is analytical, constructive in both postive and negative and has a purpose of creating a better product.
If social media worked like this towards developers and content creators it would be ok I like to think.
But its not. And we're not going to pretend it is.
I look at development in video games and anime as a hobby. I don't work in the industry but i throughoughly love watching creativity unfold.
And please believe me not all of it I find positive. In fact its a healthy middle of both. Somethings I get really excited about. "Oh thats really cool." Somethings its like...."Why?"
Investigate the reasoning and decisions, and decide for myself whether or not i wanna continue to support or be a fan.
Easy example. Any game that has lootbox styled orientation mechanics in anything. I will never buy. Something that has happened to many of franchise I have loved. But once it happened. It didn't matter that I was a fan. It dont agree with that concept as a gamer. I moved on.
And when talking about these games that has had this happened to them. I explain my choices. i won't support it and let others decide for themselves. But my money will never touch that product.
But this is where the real issue lies.
Fandoms.
Fandoms as a collective tend to think products belong to fans.
But they don't.
The only people who can lay claim is the people that made it. Full stop.
Right now. Which is what started this rant few will fully read, are complaining about the redesign of Sheila from the Spyro trilogy remakes.
Why?
She went from a bald kangaroo to a kangaroo with red hair. And she looks more feminine.
Feminity is not a negative. Girls can be the typical style of feminine if they choose to be. They can also choose to be butch, androgyness, or anything else. None of those are negative character archetypes but its not we "want" so we make them negative....and thats not only the wrong way to look at it but wrong in general.
What I wanna describe it personally as they added visually a fully realizied characterization. Which is what they've been doing with every single redesign. From her to the dragons.
Hell all the dragons went from generic pallet swaps of the same model to fully fleshed out visually. None of them even remotely similiar to the original designs.....AT ALL!!!!
So why is this ok for them and not her?
She looks like she has a ridiculously tiny waist now and they're sexualizing her.
Ok?
I don't get the sexulization argument. Cause i've looked at this same image. I am attracted to females. I like furry characters. I took one look at Sheila's redesign and went "oh hey thats a lot more vibrant visually contextulizes the character better. Why'd they change the eye color tho? The original i think was better."
Yes..that was it the eye color was the only thing worth noting that was upsetting in the slightest.
Annnnnd then I moved on. Still hyped for the game. It wasn't a huge deal, and even if it was. whats my options harass a developer....nah man don't buy it.
I didn't design it. Nor do I work.on the staff that is developing it.
My opinion on it regardless has no trinsical value one way or the other.
Cont.....one post up.
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iammarylastar · 7 years
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2. Husband and wife
*5 years earlier*
“Jack let me introduce you to Shade Johnson. Shade this is Jack McLane, your partner.” Chief McKay announced.
The new pair stared at each other from head to toe.
Interesting! He thought. Embarrassing! She pursed her lips.
“I work alone!” They both objected in unison.
What a good pair! McKay thought to himself. They already are on the same page.
“Sorry guys but we need you both this time. We have some jeopardized interests in Paris. A branch of the Calabrese’s mafia from New York threatens an operation of dismantling of weapons and drugs deal. Our contacts on the spot who have been working undercover for nearly a year just fucked up. They’re off. You will fly to Paris and keep an eye on what the fuck is going on down there and report your French counterpart. Nothing really hard. Sneaking in the clubs the Italians regularly attend, keeping a watch on the big shots and their whereabouts, noting down addresses and acquaintanceships, reporting to French competent authorities. Like a walk through a meadow for you both.”
Chief McKay stopped his speech and looked at his two recruits. The man seemed bored and the woman upset.
“I’m sure Mr. Action man could do this all by himself right? I’ll surely be more helpful in another place with something riskier to do than babysitting McLane.” She snapped.
“Oh! Mrs I-have-menstrual-cramps-30-days-a-month sounds grumpy. An all-expense-paid trip in Paris with nothing to do than hanging out and be on a stakeout, I’m in! I bet the little Frenchies are warmer than you, Icecube.”
“Fuck you McLane.” She glared at him. Motherfucker. Fucking blue eyes.
“Matter of time baby.” He winked at her. She’s sexy when she’s pissed off.
“I’m glad you would enjoy a mouthful of some frog’s legs Parisienne.” She smiled exaggeratedly. Bastard.
“Sounds tasty darling.” He licked his lower lip before he blowed a kiss to her. Partner.
“Stop this! You are official agents of the CIA and you’re on mission from now on. I’ll not allowed any complaints nor whining. If you have personal requests, please use the hierarchical ladder. Now, pack up and take your files. You could study them in the aircraft. Take off at 1:00 p.m.”
Both agents grabbed their files, mumbling purposely too loud some chosen love words to their forced partners.
“And fill your luggage with fancy clothes, you’re gonna spend time with Parisian’s ‘la crème de la crème’. Lucky you, the American taxpayers offer you a room in the most expensive Parisian hotel. Luxury ‘à la française’. You will reside in the Ritz, place Vendôme for the next 3 months.”
“Nice!” Shade mumbled. “High heels and diamonds necklace, my life.”
“Picky princess…” Jack whispered.
“Guys I warn you, however you need to fix it, you figure it out. Get ready to get along and share a suite and live together for awhile.”
“Together?” They startled at the same time.
“Hold on guys. We need you as a couple. You’re officially Mr. And Mrs. Sinclair. Congrats you lovebirds!”
Shade’s face crumbled in pieces, while Jack’s lightened up just a bit. One thing he got from his hated father was the ability to push the other’s button. He has inherited the sardonic one-liner skill, the itchy trigger finger John McLane senior was well known for.
“Now get out of here, I’m tired to see your faces.”
Jack walked gently Shade towards the door, he opened for her. Reaching out the hand he unsuccessfully placed in her lower back before being yanked at roughly, he bowed:
“After you, love”
“I’ll be sick!” She grumbled.
“And no hanky panky guys you’re on duty!” McKay shouted to the young couple, laughing out loud.
*
“Let ’s work on our love story honey.” Jack shifted in his seat, facing his temporary wife.
“Don’t call me that McLane.” She glared at him for the hundredth time since they had settled down in the airplane.
Jack had acted like a fucking gentleman, touchy, smooth and attentive at will. Though she found him pretty attractive, he was definitely not her type.
“I know your maiden name, date and City of birth, everything about your fake parents and big sister, where you were in High school and college but the file doesn’t mention private stuff like…” He paused and thought of what he wanted to know.
“Like what, McLane?” She roughly asked.
“First, my name, our name is Sinclair, and since we’ve been in love and married for…” he flipped through the pages of the file to check on the date.
“Supposed to be in love.” She snapped.
“OK hun. Supposed to be in love and happily married for 2 years, I think you could call me by my first name. Jack, remember? We’re stuck with each other for the next 3 months, and 'undercover’ means we have to build a good story, in case people ask for more details. Details make the story credible.”
She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, giving up. “Well Jack. What do you want to know?”
“Favorite colour?” He tried.
“Who would give a fuck?” She snarled.
“Honey…” he begged.
“OK, OK. I’ll answer but stop calling me honey! Blue.” She said.
“Great! Favourite meal? ”
“Bo bun. Thaï food. ”
“Mmmm. Love Thaï food too. Hobbies? ”
“I like to read files and reports. I like study about weapons and close quarter combat. I run 5 miles every morning and work out at least one hour a day. I don’t hang out with mate, I hate shopping, I don’t drink alcohol nor smoke. Satisfied?” She taped a forced smile on her beautiful face.
“Well… Let’s say you like reading books and going to the gym. We’re heading to France, are you sure you don’t like wine? French have some stunning Grands Crus, it would be a crime not to taste them.” Burgondy fine wines were Jack’s weakness.
“No. Read my lips. No alcohol. No cigarette.”
“Jesus, I hope you have sex at least. Otherwise your life would sound… deadly boring.”
“Dont push my button McLane.”
“Ok I’m done. How did we meet?”
“Highschool. The common cliché. You were the most popular quarterback. I was cheer leader.” Shade said.
“Great. Our wedding?”
“Simple. You fell on your knee to propose to me during the Superbowl, broadcast live on the big screens, I said yes, jumping up and down like a hysterical teen. You offered me the engagement ring you paid with your first salary, I jumped into your arms, everyone was in tears. Big ceremony in a luxury hotel, wedding pic on the beach. You looked dapper in your three piece suit, I looked fabulous in my 20000$ spectacular wedding gown. First dance was “Fly me to the moon” by Frank Sinatra- barf- Champagne and huge cake you and I cut together. The pic is pinned in our living room.
“Sounds like real. Very romantic. Honeymoon?”
“Gosh! Paris or Hawaii. Whatever. My dear husband refused to leave the bed to go sightseeing.” She sighed.
“ Yeah, you worn me out. I love that part. That’s why we’re back in Paris. Romantic getaway to finally enjoy the City of Lights and Lovers.” Jack looked straight into Shade’s green eyes and went on.
“Do we want kids?” Jack abruptly asked.
“Why did you ask that question?”
“We’ve been married for two years. That’s the usual next step…” he wondered.
“I guess we wanted some, one day, but we’re actually busy with our careers.”
“Do you want kids?”
“I just answered, didn’t you hear?” Shade got upset.
“Nah, I mean you, the real Shade. Do you want children?” Jack sounded serious.
“That’s highly personal. But I feel like you’ll harass me until you got your answer so. .. No.”
“It’s a shame. I’m sure you’d make beautiful babies.”
“You sneaky bastard. You don’t end up as a CIA spy without serious family traumas, do you?” Shade smartly noted.
“Good call. My so called father has me choosing for this job. He was a cop. Married to his loyalty to the NYPD. Never at home for Xmas nor birthday cakes. Only seeing in me a lame juvenile delinquent, like I was a disappointing pain in his ass. Never want to be that kind of father for my own kids.”
“Do you still want kids? Your trauma is not as serious as mine. I win hands down McLane.” Shade smirked.
“Sorry to hear that Honey.” Jack grabbed her hand.
“Don’t call me Honey. I warn you.” She yanked at it in disgust.
“Fine. What would be our emergency code?” Each agent, each mission needed one.“
"Not Honey for sure…”
“Anything in mind?” Jack asked.
Shade sighed loudly, obviously bored by the game. “I figured out all our love story already. You chose. I don’t care.”
“Great I like this. Let’s say… Babe.” He tried.
“No way. Pick something else.”
“Mmmm. Have you ever own a pet? I’m sure you’re a dog person.” Jack guessed.
“Wrong. We were not that kind of happy perfect family with pets and smiles. Mostly punches and bruises.”
“Holy shit. You’re right, you win hands down. Worst childhood award. Any blankie or favorite teddy?” He went on.
“I had this koala bear my aunt sent me from Oz when I was born. He was fluffy and cute. He had little Boomerangs tied on his back. I named it Boo. He was my best friend. We were inseparable until my father threw it in the fire.”
“Boo. Suits you. That’s it. You’ll be my Boo.” Jack smiled.
“I totally hate it. That’s the most ridiculous pet name for a guy??? Let’s say…. you do look like Cupcake, what do you think?” She smirked.
“I’m a fan. I vote for it. Boo and Cupcake. Sounds like killer names for a dangerous mission. Exclusively reserved for emergency case.” Jack said, proud of his nice touch and of his ability to make Shade talk about herself. It punched his heart to figure out her as a little girl fighting with family issues but that’s what made her strong and bitchy. Which he liked a lot.
“Anything you wanna ask about me?” Jack was ready to let it all out for her.
“Only one. When are you going to shut up?” She snapped sarcastically.
Jack frowned and slammed his back on his seat. It was a long shot…
Jack suddenly shoved into his carry on and dug out a dark blue jewel box he was quick to open. Two wedding rings were lying on the velvet pillow, tied with a silky ribbon.
“I thought those ultimate details would make our romance real. I hope you’ll love the one I chose for you.”
Without asking for permission he freed the single diamond ring and put the ring on her finger. A weird twist tickled her stomach when he stared intensely at her, squeezing tenderly her left hand.
“For better or for worst, Boo. Happily ever after.”
“Oh, shut the fuck up McLane.” She snapped, uncomfortable. Why had he be that damn cute?
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