Happy Tuesday everyone. One ep left before the S1 finale. Wild. Excited to wrap up S1 but what a ride its been so far. The last two have lots of Chenford Goodies so buckle up ha

1x19 The Checklist

I LOVE this episode so very much. It’s got a lot of underrated moments in it. But so much growth on both ends. Let’s get started.

Ep starts out with a bang. Or for them a stress really. The Rookies/T.O.'s find out last minute they have to have them do a checklist for certain crimes. Needing them to be primary on the paperwork in order to do so. Beyond unfair. Lucy looks panicked as all hell. Especially since she has 7 to cross off. Jackson has 3 and Nolan of course has none. They have only 2 days to accomplish this task. Ridiculous.

Lucy needs auto theft, carjacking, ethical dilemma, meth possession, a false I.D., assault on a peace officer, and damage to city property. Tall order to say the least. Tim is raging in his seat. Can feel the waves of anger coming off of him. Completely BS to ask this of them so late in training. If they don’t accomplish this they fall behind in the program and are extended. Putting them all under the gun for the next 48 hours. Well except bloody Nolan haha

Tim tries to find an easy check mark for Lucy. A guy named Fred who always is carrying meth comes up clean. Lucy is instantly irritated this guy isn’t carrying. Fred tells him sorry LOL That he got clean has his 30 day chip. Tim makes a joke to Lucy about it. Saying never thought he would. It’s inspiring actually haha. Lucy is having none of it. She’s been pre panic spiral since the news hit. Look at her flexing fingers. Girl is stressed af. Understandably so.

Tim goes into the mode he does best with Lucy. De escalating her. Gives her a dose of logic with a hint of funny. I still love the funny has been added in. Tells her that there are 18 million people in LA they used need them to break very specific laws for them LOL Tim is actually very funny in this episode. Trying to keep it light for her while also taking it seriously. It’s a great balance from him in this one. Poor Lucy is not about it right now. That is all over her face when their next call comes in.

She could not be more agitated with this whole situation right now. You can tell she's so close to losing it. On the razors edge really. Tim once again makes it a little lighter and says hey maybe he’ll attack you? It cracks me up because you can see the hope in her face after he makes that joke. I love these two so much it’s insane. Tim trying to make each call positive and an opportunity for her.

She’s actually excited this call could turn ugly so she can get something checked off. Possibly get 'Assault on a Peace Officer' knocked out. Too funny. I just love how much he wants her to succeed. He is doing anything to keep her head in the game. Can't let her get into quit mode whatsoever. Lucy has a pep in her step after his comment and that’s all he’s wanting right now.

They hit mid day and go get lunch. Tim and Angela talking about how stressed they are. Lucy hasn't gotten one box checked yet. Jackson has gotten one and he only has 3 total. Much easier than what Lucy has. A call comes in that could check something off for her. Unfortunately it can for Jackson too. So Angela jumps on the call as well. Tim is instantly livid. I love him saying she needs it more. That's right she does. They’re drowning and this is a life raft Lopez is trying take from them. He won’t stand for it. I love it sfm. You can see his stress here. Only time he lets it out when he's not around Lucy.

They miss out on Lucy getting the call and it goes to Jackson. (Boooo). They've reached the latter half of their shift still nothing. They’re going through a neighborhood running plates. Tim's informant told him this would be a good spot for auto theft or car jacking. They've had high amount of reports lately. This begins my second fav moment of the entire episode. Something finally pops up and they pull a lady over for plates not matching her vehicle. Lucy gets excited as does Tim and he tells her to light them up.

What goes from excitement about a box being ticked off quickly dissolves. Lucy can instantly see this lady didn't mean anything malicious by switching the plates. They just simply couldn't afford to register both. This goes from a simple stop to something much more. They both know it and its clearly written all over their faces down below.

The silent communication in just this one gif my god. If you needed an example of that on full display look at this beautiful gif. Sweet lord. Lightning in a bottle chemistry these two. I have no words other than i'm in awe. Lucy goes from excited she got a box to this isn’t the right way to get it. That’s what’s being communicated in these looks right here. That ethical dilemma presented itself and it’s known between them with just a look. Lucy’s empathy is kicking into overdrive here and needs a minute to confer with Tim.

It’s very obvious Lucy doesn’t want to get her checkbox this way. I love her so very much for it. It’s killing her she has to pick between her empathy/what's right and what she needs to do not to be held back. This whole scene is a window into who Lucy is as a person. Who she longs to be as a cop. If her father could see this moment he wouldn’t chastise her so damn much. See how her empathy drives her decisions in the best way. Wouldn't look down on her being a cop as much as he does.

This part here is what impresses Tim the most and me too tbh. Despite all the pressure Lucy is under she refuses to let it change the kind of cop she wants to be. Won't sacrifice this woman for her one box to be checked off. Isn't willing to compromise her morals for it. Tim gives her advice in this scenario but ultimately lets Lucy be in the drivers seat for the outcome. Lucy decides to cut the lady loose and let her off with a warning instead of citing her.

What I love the absolute most about this scene is how Tim lets her run the show. He gives minor advice but she makes the call in the end. How far we’ve come since 1x14 where all Lucy did was second guess herself. This scene shows growth for the both of them. Tim in trusting her to make the right call. No sass, no hard ass just trust. Lucy for going with her gut without question even if it might cost her. Doing the right thing instead of just checking a box.

Lucy is so caught up in the ethical dilemma itself she doesn’t realize it ticked a box. That her empathy could be used to do as such. Tim didn’t interfere at all for that reason. He knows one of her biggest strengths is her empathy. He didn’t sway her one way or another. Much different silence for this than his silence for the van incident back in 1x14. He too learned from that day. He knew she’d make the right call and she did (again just like Plain clothes day). Tim see's that empathy as an incredible asset for her and she just showcased it without realizing it. One down. It doesn’t seem like a win to Lucy right now, but in the long run it most definitely was. For far more than just crossing a box off her list.

Makes me so happy you can see the absolute pride on Tim’s face in both of these gifs. These are the moments that truly reinforce that belief he has in her. He's proud for a couple reasons. One. Lucy went with her gut under pressure and didn’t waver. Not even a little bit. She talked it out with Tim but was firm in what she wanted to do and why. Two. Tim is so proud of her for doing the right thing. Even if it meant falling behind in the program. She was willing to do that. So just like in 1x15 when Lucy was impressed with his moral compass, Tim is with hers in this moment.

Next day rolls around and they’re still 6 in the hole unfortunately. Despite the morale victory of the night before, Lucy is very defeatist at this point. Feeling failure is nothing but imminent now. Tim refuses to let her feel this way. Won’t let her start the day like they’ve already lost. They’re getting across that finish line even if he has to drag them across it by the skin of their teeth.

They get a call as they’re gearing up for one of Lucy’s boxes. Tim being confident as ever tells her they’re still in it. Right now she needs that cocky Tim Bradford swagger. The same confidence he had in 1x05 for the round up. He’s just as excited if not more than that moment to get this call for her. Lucy can feel the tide turning. She is feeding off of his energy now. The fuel she needed to start the day.

It’s written all over her face in that last gif how much it means to her. That smile she can't contain. The 'No Quit' he has for her. She knows he has her back. Will go to the ends of the earth to get this done for her. If Tim has to carry her with that confidence the rest of their shift he’s going to. He won’t let her be defeated by this. He can’t.

Their destruction of city property call ends up racking up boxes for Lucy. Good karma from the night before I think. Tim is smiling every time they get a new one. As is Lucy. This girl has no idea how she’s making their day. Tim and Lucy are both beaming at their luck. They get all the way up to 4 boxes in that one call. 6 down one to go. All that's left is meth possession.

We get to end of shift and see Lucy is short a box. She is deflated and sad that she is going to be held back. Lucy starts to put her stuff away assuming its over. That's when Tim catches her. This is my favorite moment of the ep. Why you ask? It’s because he refuses to let her fall short. Tim is battling for her career. (And it wouldn’t be the first time.)

While she was packing up the shop he was getting OT approved for them both. Amazing. Before Lucy his rookies could wash out and it didn’t mean much to him. Hell I think he thrived on when they did. To him he was weeding out the bad apples before they could hit the streets. If they couldn’t make it through his training/standards they had no place being a cop. Then comes Lucy Chen barreling into his life.

The woman who not only has thrived and grown off his challenges but challenged him back. Tim saw the instinct in her from day one. When she brought that “low hanging fruit” in and started her career off with a bang. He saw her with the potential to be the best rookie he ever trained. (spoiler alert she is) She proves him right on a daily basis. Tim wasn’t going to let some bureaucratic bs take her out. If it took OT to save her then damnit it all that’s what they were going to do.

Look at the relief and joy on her face. Also a little shock mixed in as well. Just like in 1x14 Tim is fighting tooth and nail to keep her. Lucy needed this not only for her checkboxes but her self esteem. Her self worth. Showing she is worth it. Lucy is almost in disbelief he’s doing this for her. Like I said in my 1x18 review her and I have similar parents.

So when you find someone who believes in you, fights for you and builds you up it’s almost hard to accept. Because you're so used to being torn down. Even though as a viewer we can see Tim would do anything for her, Lucy still finds it hard to believe. He is saving her career here and not batting an eye to do so. I love it so much. I love them. Fantastic episode. Such good stuff. It's definitely one of the best of the season IMO.

~~~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

Meh. Not much Chenford drove this episode like they do most. You can see Jackson starting to crumble a bit. He's letting go of who he thought he should be for his dad. Interesting arc for him. Makes him more human. That's about it for non chenford for me really ha

As always thank you thank you to all who like/comment/reblog these reviews. Highlight of my day when I see those notifications pop up on my phone. I shall see you all in the finale 1x20 :)

I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THERE'S A NEW EPISODE HERE'S 26 LIVEBLOG BABEEEEYYYY

my podcatcher is cool and great and open source and ad free and all that shit but I haven't set up my notifications good and because this is my first episode as they come out (my inner fanatic is all grown up) im not used to the schedule but HHHASD;LPIG AHIP'LSF AG THE WAY I SCREEEEEAMED AND ACTUALLY DANCED FOR JOY HERE WE GO!!!!!

oh opening music my beloved. Oh shit I got so obsessed with Blorbos I briefly forgot exactly where we are in the story. Coping mechanism (slash joking slash lighthearted) im 👀👀👀👀 very hyped bery concerned

"you need to be making eye contact to be frozen" means it's vry easy to free spar!!! ahhh so they somehow duplicated the pendants....or found more??

BACKUP THINGS 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 IM ON DESKTOP AND I CAN ONLY HAVE ONE EMOJI COPIED TO MY CLIPBOARD AT AT TIME ASJKDLHFASDFH

also the title of this episode is making me excited

Ila's stress about spar's condition is such a mood

THIS TELEKENISIS NECKLACE THING IS SO BANGER.

ooh. oof. this drive. CRIT?????? NICE FUCK. WHEW.

SUUCESSED THE FUCK OUTA THAT.

Voracity fucking sucks sorry about your lineage bestie i do hope you die though

SPAR BALANCED HALWAYD ON A CATWALK, FROZEN, SNUGGLED UP TO AN AWFUL AWFUL VAMPIRIC ASSHOLE UHHHH

......that joker.

OH I FORGOT VELLUM CAN TELEPORT FOR A SEC with the power of looking INCREDIBLY sexy. I like this plan I'm feeling good about this plan

Jordan's clearly plotting some shit and i am HERE for it

"normally you are not conscious during it" NORMALLY???

Spar depersonalization crash course. OH WAIT NO SPAR STEVEN UNIVERSE MOMENTS. IM OBSESSED????

viscious spar.....hmmm......im making a face it's not a great face LASDFALHFAHS

I love that spar's first thing is to just get the gist of what he's got going on <3 LJSADFLKJAHSDJFKHASD HE GOES TO VELLUM A;LKSDFLJSHDFLJSADGFLJSHADFKAHSDFKLASDF SCOOBY DOO ASS LOVE BIRDS

Oh shit is Vellum gonna think spar is fucking dead???? VORACITY GOES TOPPLING WHICH IS HILARIOUS BUT SPAR TOO??????? HOLY SHIT????? LMAO????

we are thirteen minutes in.

IF YOU DIE IN YOUR BODY YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE ALKSDJF;LAKSDJFASKLD;FJALSDFJ

Essay protesting Voracity's stats is such a mood. What if...what if ya jus didn???

As spooky as this whole situation is, the mental image of spar having royallllly biffed it is sending me

Okay when I was very young, I used to play chess with a younger sibling of mine. And I did this thing where I would just take one rook and systematically go around capturing all their pawns because they didn't know how to protect them, while just kinda giggling. And that's the energy ipswitch is bringing right now, tkaing out all their backup.

EIGHT FUCKING CARDS

AD;ISFLG;ALKDSGASLDFK RING TOSS SITIONATION wasn't jakub with ipswitch? or going to him? and yeahhhh lunevella is an important ally.

Diamond? friend? mmmmmmmmmmmmnahhhh

YEAH LUNAVELLA!!!! MASSIVE WITCH LADY COME IN CLUTCH!

nooo fuck PLEASE dont make it diamond please please please LUNEVELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA lesbiamb...YEAS

I forget what beloved does but mechanical nonsense is my favorite

NO SUCESSES ONE JOKER there are not emojis on this computer that describe...you know that one image of the hot cook guy from Queer eye looking traumatized? that.

"I'm having fun being a useless ghost boy" VALID i am also having fun. sometimes in a ttrpg you just wanna be/add to the problem for a bit!!! And that's ok

Voracity being pissed about being launched off the catwalk is SO Funny.

"so I could accomplish my goal without violence" BITCH YOU THREATENED TO MURDER SEVREAL-----FJHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NO NO NO VORACITY ISNT ALLOWED TO CRIT LEAVE VELLUM ALOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!

oh shit but vellum's turn now.......kick them back off!!!!!! asjdhfakjsdhfasdkflakdhf

TAEKWONDO!! switching instantly for a drive does seem like a good balance I like that mechanic

god I love my gay rule-abiding detectives who for some reason keep trying to fight the ONE being that EVERY rule is like don't fucking fight for the love of god do not fight them for the LOVE OF

"I imagine that vellum gets a cat stance, which is like an L stance" i know there is more informaiton here but my brain has already shifted into the "someone i know is talking about something they love and i understand very little of what's happening here but I'm just excited to listen" mode. But no i do need to know what cat stance is because this is so art in my brain. ill look it up later.

im so *chinhands*

OOOOOH BUT THIS DESCRIPTION IS SO GOOD i CAN SEE IT IN MY BRAIN SO WELL OOOOHAS;DFHKLASEHFASKDFHA VELLUM IS SO COOL

there are no ascii emojis for doing a silly stupid little happy stim but that's what's happening

oh shit luna can fly!

Lune deserves to be condescending to her enemies, she's dealt with so much bullshit.

Ooof we have the AA and now the bramble guard with MOTORCYCLES????? ugh!!! organizations!!!!! Lore!!!!!!!! im swooning. there is nothing sexier in my mind that good worldbuilding

tatiana related plans but not htis episode 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀????

yeah lmao fuck diamond.

okay but in my brain Desdemona was suuuuuuper pretty. Oh no!!! Don't make her endearing!!!!!!!

(sweetly) "So uhhh, people of cindershore as you can see....we have the people of theee passion fruit festival held hostage <3"

THEY WANTED TO DO THIS NON VIOLENTLY god fuck i hate fucking misinformation goddamn.

"side with crystallis of againse you own wellbeing" bestie how is that fucking nonviolent?????

"get your gummy jello fingies in here" hello i am uncomfortablleeee AHSDL;FHASDFHADJSFLHAKDSFJH

TERRORIST TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

I like to imagine that Kit's comments was ipswitch being genuinely helpful

oh god. there was a SPLIT second moment when my entirely world lit up with the GLEE that was Voracity biffing it off the catwalk again.

vellum pulls them...up? NOOO I MEAN THATS SMART BUT AHHHHH IM STAKING THE PROTAGONISTS LIKE A MIRACA (how the FUCK do you spell this im pretty sure i knew that) STOP PUTTING YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY AHHHHHHHHHH

i swear to GOD the host have an uncanny ability to say the joke i was thinking and I think we've just all got the same internet brain rot. my FIRST thought here was "None successes? left beef." and there we go. no funny left for the rest of us.

oooh what's jakub up to

WITCH TIME WITCH TIME WITCH TIME

"leave diamond where they are" you know, cause fuck em.

LUNA VELLA COMING IN FRIGGGGGING CLUTCH.

"Lunavella casts a spell that was taught to her by tara. Lunavella later taught it to jasper, who used it to talk to a god at a very crucial time"

the VOLUME at which i just sais "HUH?????" is IMMENSE.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? HELLP???? NO DONT MOVE ON HELLO??? HI! hIS I HAVE QUESTIONS?

Did jasper do the untethering???? Did jasper PERSONALLY speak to mommy magic???? Is that was Tara did to sacrifice her connection to magic for Merim & Josepha's freedom????? what...what does this mean....

SHE'S TALKING TO KRONOSAVA SHE CALLED THIS RELIC'S FUCKING PARENT. SHE SAID SHE'S GOING TO THE MANAGER. AJSHDFAJSHDFLKAJSHDF

An animatronic giant....HMMMMMM

okay but what is the triple threat if not just a small, minimalist mech suit?

"oh i do like information" "I know!!! Me to!!!" Oh my god they're suchhhh fucking nerds i fucking love them HASKLDJHFASDHFAKDJLFH GET ME TO A CLOSET.

AND JAKUB BLUSHES. AND OF COURSE IPSWITCH DOESN'T NOTICE CAUSE ITS IPSWITCH. THIS IS CUTE AS FUCK

I WANNA TRY TO POSSESS VORACITY Spar has been a ghost for like 2 minutes, and he was already like "When in rome!!!"

Kronosava manifests as a NINE FOOT TALL CLOCKWORK PERSON WITH MANY CLOCK FACES OF IMPOSSIBLE GEOMETRY????? COOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL FUCKING RAD RAD RAD

Spar's ALONE with the TIME GOD al;jsdflkasdjfasdjlf

he did NOT just introduce himself....holllly shit lmaooo. "those who may be frozen by my eye are unworthy by my sight" oh so Spar is like. Time daddy's favorite blorbo. This makes sense to me. or maybe somewhat.

KRONOS SAY YALL KINDA SUCK SO I MADE YA DIE, CAUSE FUCK EM

Spar is NOT fucking out logicing this GOD im So here for this. fuck em up bestie FUCK EM UP!!!!!!

imagine your last name being considered by the GOD OF TIME now that's what I call clout.

"relative innocence" yeahhhhh. peace and lvoe on the planet earth, but emphasis on "on the planet earth"

Mayor lipton is the mayor of cindershore.

Okay I understanbd this scene im loving the vibes but MERIM FELSPAR THE SECOND IS NOOOOOTTTTT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM MR. TIME DADDY!!! He can't awnser for the crime and bigroties of Extra #8 and 13

YOU MAKE A GODDEX CHUCKLE that line will be living in my brain as something that can be so symbolism

I....I...I don't like this. wow i HATE how fast spar just traded off year of his fucking life span noooooo. fuck. fuck. fuckity fuck fuck fuck im in distress. ughhhhhh spar being spar.......I will have thoughts but first I need to sigh a lot ......Ugh.

but also fuck the gods im not vibing with this barter situation. is it good for the plot YES is deicide always an aspiration of mine also yes

"it feels like licking a battery with your hand' oooh mental sensory imaginings not good but very very cool

Like sourpatch kids watermelon flavor colorscheme.

*sadly, with hesitation* midtro dance midtro dance....

guhhhh spar....Spar why. Like I understand the choice but that was SO fast. HE DIDNT THINK ABOUT IT AND THAT'S WHAT I --UGHHHHHH

happy late birthday to essay!

ESSAY PLEASE STOP ASTRALLY PROJECTING PLACES ALSDFL;ASHFDLASHDFLKASF

Spar is a snacker and habituatally hands people snacks to keep them sustained.

God yall are just begging for me to write a communion (slash literary term related to chrstian, not christian practice itself. for as much as i say the words lord and god i like barely know who jesus is) fic....soon my toils will be over and my backlog will sing so my like the sirens lulling me away from an approaching storm, so instead my hyperfixation can crash violently upon the rocks and. it. will. be. GLORIOUS.

VELLUM WON A LEETLE KEETY <3<3<3

KIT CAME OUT SWINGING WITH THIS????? ....HUH????? BESTLJHAS;DIFHASDHFASJDFALKDSFKJASF. KIT SAID "IPSWITCH LOOKS AT SOME GAY SHIT END OF SENTENCE" IM DEAD. Im just imaginging Jakub looking at the performers, and at ipswitch, and at the performers, and in his head he's like "why does he look contemplative?"

Xbala, hilde, grey, anya play shoots and ladders at the safe house while knowing Spar, Vellum, ip, Jakub, and Luna are risking their lives fighitng voracity....that was me typing for speed but "Ip" as a nickname is really cute imo.

*much more enthusiatic end of midtro dance*

ILA I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOOD NEWS. DODGE IS ONE. AH. OH NO. HHHHH.

i made i sound like ID been bitten. Voracity. Rancid bestie, what if we like....didnt...

LIASDFASDJFASDF VELLUM'S BLOOD TASTES WIERD?????

*A deep sigh as I realize by having Beloved as a ultimate Vellum is, in fact, another self-sacrificial blorbo for the lot.*

Oh fuck he's so determined and valliant but i want him to STOP.

People should be reinvigorating and spar should be around soon??? im....spoooked. I know being unconcious isn't the end of the world though....

I think some of the gumw as given to Anya and may not have ever been returned? Which i only mention as a brief note for efforts and because these eps are recorded long ahead of time: i aint a snitch

spar to the recsue <3 <3 <3 king I'm imagining spar like Baseball-sliding in, swinging the sword like he's going to a home run, in slow motion. It's VERY cool.

SPAR IS AJUDSHLKJSAHGFKLJSADFGHAS THIS IS FO FUNNY I FUCKING LOVE THIS.

OHHHHH JUST ONE SHORT.

OH. OH SHIT. OH. PLEASE FLIP GOOD OH MY GOD. ID WOULD BE SCREAMING BUT IF I START SCREAMING i CAN'T HEAR.

AHHHHH;LFRGHA jumped so hard I pulled my chair up off the floor and keysmashed irrespocibly enough to put my compter to sleep. I'm SO normal.

The Animaation of this that exists in my brain through. Vellum gets bitten and Voracity reals back enough for you to see, between their faces, spar sprinting towards them reaching for his sword. The Camera whips to a side angle for spar's baseball swing. Slice! Spray of blood as vellum gets up a bit. Shot from below spar's chin to show his determined face and the long line of his arm and Bang! Bang! They all drop until his gun clicks empty. As there's a zoom in on the bat going for the window. One last bang and as Spar looks down the Camera does too, to show Vellym propped up on one arm holding His derringer high for a beat before his arms fall when he slumps in relief and he just smiles as ash rains down around them. Spar falls to his knees, and vellum slides over to kiss him...augh. AUGH!

Spar with a subtle scar over his hear that after 26 is raised and more obvious. For you know. Eventual shiftless art that WILL happen

Oh shit Jakub's getting a fucking promotion, huh?

LKJUAHSFGKJAHSKDFAHSDFKLASD IPSWITCH FINDS TERRORISM TAX FRAUD EVIDENCE I LOOOVE THAT FOR HIM OH MY GODDD <3.

Okay but Jakub being attracted to that is SO dorky and i love them and they're such sillyy guyssss. IPSWITH STARTLES.

"i have one more thing to end on!" [the episode has twnety minutes left]

Governor thorn middle ages. violet haired. carries a spear. CLEARLY need to pack her ass up and fuck off before she messes with Hilde, Anya, Grey and Xbala. I was only gonna mention my favoirites out of that grpup but not yeah they're all good. So throne need to like. go. I don't trust this.

"What's this about? how do you know where this is?" GOOD QUESTIONS.

FUCK. OFF. UNDER ARREST FOR WHAT. BITCH?

NO. NO. YOU DONT GET TO FUCKING END CREDITS MUSIC AFTER THAT FUCK YOU. FUCK OFF. WHAT. WHAT?

What.

i HEARD KEVIN AND I ACTUALLY GASPED. ITS MY FAVORITE CRINGEFAIL KING!!!!

CATBOY ASCE!!!!!!

OH WAIT im realizing....If SUITS has been abolished that Spar did retire after all, huh? Huh. Good for not having to report info about clovenheart. BAD news for whatever the fuck is happening to jack. Interesting news for Vellum's blood theirvery theories. And damn, I just sort of assumed Mayor Thorne was just like...Good Guy(TM) until....well until chapter 3 of tempest and teapots yesterday. God i love stories where things only get bigger. crunchy as hell.

THEY HAVE TO BOTH WEAR HIS CLOTHES STACKED ASJLDFALSDJFADF

I'm in love with Asce's himbo ass, he should NOT be enabling this and YET.

Iris has jury duty and then she's getting a massage and then she's going to therapy and then doing her therapy homework: considering new employment.

DOES CASEDYWM FUCKING STICK THEM IN HIS ACTUAL POCKET??????? OH NO.

ARE THEY JUST GONNA KEEP THE PIXIES IN HIS POCKET THE WHOLE TIME?

"I just need to know whose on top and whose...whose...whose the legs" Ah, when nature denies us our low hanging fruit

oh god I hope asce is left handed because otherwise Caedyn';s hand is occupied and Asce only has access to his non dominant hand

SDLFASDFAJSDFLASDF "I DONT KNOW HOW IT HELPS BIT I WANT IT"

"IS CADEWYN'S noSE PIECED" "IT IS NOW"

ASDKJFA;LSDJFASDF FUCK

added together they look like a great mintaur, yeah!! If someone shakes their head back and forth very fast

peer pressure confusion...sweet jesus.

JSADLFJALKDSFJAS just look abnormnal and blend in!!! This stratedgy would work in many of my social circles to be fair.

Not CALHOUN (just finished reading the 1619 project, that's the last name of the probably most cartoonishly evil & racist person in that entire book. Which, if anything, makes this mor funny for me

HE GIVES CADEWYN MORE ALCOHOL. NOOOO LMAOOOOOO

A BRILLIANT TACTICAL PLAY YOU'RE NOT HIGH LEVEL ENOUGH TO GET FULL DETAILS ON.

I was gonna make a joke about xbala getting arrested in the background but then it hit me: anya is a defense lawyer. A defense lawywer who already fucking hates Thorn. A defense lawyer who already hates thorn who has made up with spar and befriended Xbala and in all likelyhood has the support of the Harrington's behind her. She might. She might fuck it up. Take no prisoners, but like, the opposite way that's usually meant. still just as fuckign rad tho. my brain is turning. rotating like a microwave plate. mmmmmmmmm.

That scene was so funny though. cherry on top of a wonderful episode. i have...i have things to consider.

@threeheartscast @citrusandsalt @ilaalexei

oc masterpost ig. I never make content but theyre in my heart and mind always. It’s long!

i am rotating these idiots in my mind, they are in situations in my head etc

The Crew

These four!! These four. They had a real DnD style meet-cute (all arrived to catch the same low-level bounty at once, shenanigans ensue they must make it out through the power of teamwork) and have been inseparable (stuck together via Circumstances (TM) ) since. They’ve been debating on what to call the group approx. a year now. No agreement in sight.

They essentially started off with a little gun of a ship and big bounty-hunting/freelance-whatever dreams and uh. Have ended up trapped on coruscant for repairs. Half of the income they make doing odd jobs goes to the docking fees for the ship while they wait for (and to afford) the parts needed. Despite the incredibly rocky and stressful start they’ve managed to grow quite close, and work well to balance each other out. They can be seen getting up to shenanigans, getting paid (usually via at least dubiously legal means) and general silly business.

One night they met a lightly stabbed Hound in the lower levels and took em to their ship to try and patch them up. After failing to steal adopt Grizzer they went for Hound, to which Hound said “you’re all fucking gremlins, i have enough insane siblings”. They might admit to a small soft spot for the idiots upon pain of death. No familial bonds here at all. Definitely not.

After this the crew do a lot of information (or rumour) gathering for the guard, and will try and source supplies where they can.

They also has matching nicknames/fake ids because  they’re just Like That.

Gunne (AKA Thor or Boom)

Gunne (She/Her) is a Devaronian with a flair for the dramatic. Big ‘grumpy medic(/nurse)’ energy. She’ll look after the misfits well but also be really vocally unhappy about it the whole time. She loves fashion and WILL refuse to wear gear if it isn’t made into A Look. Her fave sesh glasses are some of those red-tinted flame shaped things. Yes she has a collection. One of her horns is broken, and she often wears a gold prosthetic tip on it. She’s slow to trust, but once you have it she is ride or die to a fault. She has spent a lot of time as the only medical professional in remote areas, and when it comes down to it she’s tough as guts and will make do with what she can (and do a bang-up job of it).

They haven’t met BUT I think her and Wolffe would be the best of worsties. Bitches add a double letter and an e to words and be like yes this is the perfect name.

Pandora (AKA Dora, Score, Zoom)

Dora (She/Her) is a Pantoran who is sweet and adorable in the way a feral kitten is. She will deny any force-sensitivity, but will also have Moments which result in (usually disconcerting) comments on the future. Or probable futures. Either way it can be a little startling to hear a grim prophecy delivered, but doesn’t her smile and positive demeanor make up for it! She’s also a demolitions expert! Great at sourcing weapons and explosives, and even improvising them in a pinch. Loves to pull the old ‘oh I’m just naive and innocent you should help me I’m not at all a hired hunter’ ruse. She’s one of the main reasons the crew even came together in the start instead of trying to cut each other down, and isn’t above reminding the rest of them of this when feeling a little smug.

She also card counts for fun and profit. Mostly fun. She has absolutely no poker face.

Selene (aka Luna, Sweetie, Gloom)

Selene (She/Her) is a Mirialan who is a bit of a jack of all trades, and keeps the group together and alive a lot because of this. She’s the best pilot, moonlights as a sniper when needed, and can be relied upon as a level-headed voice of treason reason in a pinch. Those who don’t know her well think her stance on her companions was “long-suffering (affectionate)”. In reality she has a cutting wit and will take any opportunity to stir the pot. She’s also the best (and arguably only) person in the crew at acknowledging when help is needed, and then going ahead and asking for it. 

While she was born on Mirial, she only spent her early childhood on the planet. Her father specialised in heavy-ship repairs, and they spent most of their time living on the massive docks and stations/hamlet-towns that grow from them. After her father was injured in a workplace incident when she was in her early teens, her adolescence was spent being supported and taught by the eclectic mix that was the station community. As much as she loved her extended family, she felt like if she didn’t try and experience something new soon she’d be stuck in the same place doing the same thing her whole life, so made the (slightly impulsive) decision to hitch a ride on a cargo ship and find something new. She keeps her dad updated on the ship repairs (and costs), and he is growing increasingly despaired at their choice of transport.

Remy (Aka Gremlin, Lucky, Doom, rat bastard)

Remy (They/Them) is a member of a species from the outer rim that is little known and I definitely didn’t just make up. They’re purple. They have big ol ears. They’re maybe for sure a space eshay. They’re 130cm tall with a head like a brick. They are actually so unlikeable.

Remy loves to act like they’re nothing but the hired muscle of the group. They do a great job of putting up a front, and really embody the short, dirty-fighting, rat dog mindset. Behind the scenes Remy is also the one who is best at balancing the budget, is too smart for their own good, and has a knack for the cut-throat politics of coruscant that is mild-to-moderately disturbing. While the youngest of the group, they definitely have the most experience at hunting, though this is sometimes to their detriment. They could have easily gone down a path of more sinister organised crime. They had started to, in fact, before a particularly harrowing experience that knocked some sense into them and their worldview askew. They’re learning to lean on the others slowly, and maybe become a little bit of a better person.

Hound is of the opinion that introducing Remy and Fox will either save the galaxy or doom it. They haven’t been game enough to try. Or introduce any of the crew really. That way madness lies.

Wow! Bonus pics in The Highest Android Quality.

hello darling!!! 🐿️🐢

hope your gloomy day still went pretty well, tell me about it!

some advice i can concentrate better on - as a mentionned yesterday it is definitly true that i like challenge and i got motivated by the idea of trying to find a way to make concentrating in class smth stimulating for my brain ofc i still need to find ways to it right but its a really charming idea to me! i also need to focus at home and get work done there to be able to concentrate better in class so its a whole process that im ready to try out with the method your proposed to me

motivation - feeding my soul, how poetic wow it is true that im very lucky to study what im studying rn and its actually stuff that are useful in life and if i dont find it interesting then maybe it can still be informations that i can share with others right? there is an enormous amount of material in every law classes so i wont be able to memorize everything but your advice made me see things differently and i actually want to try to remember most of it on the LONG TERM and not only for exams! once again it is an advice that really speaks to me and that i will think about when studying

balance - i actually LOVE lists/ plannings/ etc like writing everything i want to do for the day and packing my schedule with many different stuff like seeing many friends, doing productive stuff for school, doing my hobbies it really helps me see how i spend my time and share out the different things i do (so i dont do the same thing over and over again) and i cant believe i FORGOT about it like i actually stopped doing it and i forgot i am so grateful for this advice

relationships - my friends often complain that i dont share intimate things with them like my daily problems and all but i actually just dont see what they could do about it? anyway i still struggle with these things i'll try to question myself more often to see whats the right thing to do for everyone when im in a bad spot like you adviced

avoid stress - im really not good at dealing with negative emotions lmaooo its also gonna be a challenging point i'll try to believe as much as i can that stress is not an end its just a signal just like you said once again thank you for your works i'll try my best

self care - its so beautiful! i live in the city so im not that much in contact with nature but its true that whenever i go help my grandmother in the countryside it feels refreshing i just need more time to do so! now that i know its smth that could help me i'll keep that in mind and prioritize doing in these situations! im a taurus after all! even tho earth is only my third dominant element im an earth sign lmao

words of encouragement - everyone seems to be wrong about everything its crazy ajkdhdbnzev i really should be more humble its a problem but anyway yes even tho i think some people are stupid deep down i'll still take their opinion into consideration just in case when in fact i shouldnt with your advice i'll try to accept that sometimes peoples advices just arent for me and maybe they'll help someone but its not my case! thanks

daydreaming - yes in my experience heavy daydreaming has been because STRESS, bored in my life and obligations i have that i dont want to do the problem is that it really put me in problematic positions everything comes down to stress at the end so if i understand how to deal with my stress i wont feel the need to escape like this :/ i'll definitily think about your advice and when i notice im starting to daydream heavily ill try to ask myself why and to resolve the issue

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR READING!!!!! everything really spoke to me and ill make sure to apply it well in my life from now on i'll think about your kind words and do my best!

Hello! My gloomy day was comfy 😁

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a lengthy feedback 🖤 it means a lot and it's very helpful.

I'm also glad to hear you're enjoying the perspectives and ideas the cards gave 🤔

I went on a whim with the challenge thing and then I was like ... Wait a sec .. didn't they say they have Aries placements? It just clicked at that point. I knew i was right on the money 😂

I was so taken aback by that high priestess card. Truth be told I too had the same mentality in high school! I studied just to know things. To grow wiser as an individual. (Went to a science college (it's a high school despite the name)) So I can kinda see it! Law is very very broad of a subject and there's a lot to study. But it's also so so useful in life! I actually had some law students save my ass when I had a very bad boss at a workplace once they helped me with the contract lol So yeah i definitely think you can become very wise as a law student!

Glad I can help you get back to your lists, too! And uhm, I don't think any human is ever GOOD at dealing with negative emotions. I mean, they're meant to make us uncomfortable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But being gentle and understanding and honest with yourself does make it better!

And I mean yes I see your point. Maybe your friends will not be able to DO anything about your problems but here's the thing. Keeping things hidden creates more stress in the human mind. It's like an extra layer. It's not just "I'm frustrated and confused" It's "I'm frustrated, confused, and keeping it to myself." If you talk to someone, it gets easier 😁 Plus, talking about what goes on inside your mind can actually put you on the spot in such a way you unconsciously organize your thoughts and find the answers yourself. (Like those scenes in movies when a character goes to rant to another one and they literally spend the entire time talking to themselves, giving themselves advice and thanking the other person although they did absolutely nothing 😂)

Literally when I was doing your reading i had "Go touch some grass, bro." In my head 😂 But yes, as an earth sign you probably could feel so much more grounded and peaceful if you interact with nature. 😁

And just wanted to remind you I answered your ask about the double interpretation tarot reading and you can send it to me anytime!

My opinions on ai art and ai artists

I have found that ai art can be really fun to mess around with and experiment wild ideas. For me it has become really good practice to help motivate me to improve my artistic skill. It has helped me loosen up with my art flow and stop over blending, which I do a lot unfortunately, along other things to improve texture and coloring. Breaking the 'rules' for art so to speak, to really enjoy making things rather than stress about the result.

It's also quite helpful to have unique on demand references that I can trace without having to worry about stealing someone's art, even if just for personal practice. Alongside having the ability to create references I need for any unique situation, they are really helpful and convenient. Not to mention how easy it is to test out concepts or create a visual thumbnail for an idea I have, this is especially useful for landscapes and hybrid animal designs.

I am and artist, and I also recently learned I have aphantasia; a complete lack of mental imagery. No vision is tied to my imagination - so I have often struggled as it can be really hard to put what's in my head on paper because I can't physically*see* it, I can only *feel* through trial and error. Sometimes this gets incredibly frustrating and takes so long I get burnt out of art. Sometimes for months at a time.

However as useful as a tool this is, it's really disheartening to see so many artists embrace toxicity when discussing their opinions. I myself am doing my best to be neutral in how I discuss things - but I am human and have bias even when trying to be neutral, so some points can come across more weighted. This is just my perspective, and it doesn't have to be the same for others - and that's okay. I've seen a lot of people send death threats just because they do not agree, and that is really disgusting behavior that I wish was less common online.

Not to mention the swarms of NFTs spawning from ai generation, that's a whole other dumpster fire that can be discussed by people way more intelligent than me.

Though there are several issues with ai art stealing from original artists- many without their consent or even knowledge- I can find positives within the bulk of the situation I cannot control. I try to stay updated on the matter but I am genuinely terrible at keeping information in my head. And it can be difficult to find balanced sources in disgestable sizes.

Ai art is generated with no effort from the ai, as it is designed to be quick, effective, and convenient, and will only improve over time. And said effort is only mild at best from whomever types out text prompts. (And I can say that, I have spent months now enjoying craiyon and other ai services). You can spend weeks crafting key words and learning the software generation tricks, but at the end of the day - the ai made the art, not the person.

(That's how I view this at least, unless I am missing something! I primarily use craiyon where the process includes typing text, the art is made, and that's it. I don't have photoshop or any paid services! If this process is different for other services please let me know I'd love to know more!)

Ai generated images can be a reflection of the mind, and make the art you were hoping to, which is really encouragingly helpful and fun. I often find myself with the exact image in my mind now on screen, and that makes me elated every time, but I personally do not see this process or piece as a normal artistic creation - at least in this specific traditional sense or having generated art I had no hand in other than typing text. I myself draw on my own and draw with the ai images, usually repainting ai images to practice or using the generated images as references. And while I love both processes, only the art I freehand and make start to finish I claim as my own, without use of generational services. I feel the same towards ai generated text. The generated text can be prompted by a human, but the ai is what made the story.

Specifically in the sense of ai art is not *their* art. I do not feel they should claim generated works as *theirs* because they did not make it. To me it feels like when someone commissions an artist - giving references or a description, and the artist makes the art from that. The commissioner - did not make the art, the artist did. And I feel the same towards ai generated images, it's like you are commissioning the ai for free. Same process with slightly different steps, but ultimately the same result.

As for selling ai art feels weird to me. Partly for the point listed above, but mostly because making money off software I had nothing to do with feels so wrong. Craiyon even has terms and conditions that publicly make it okay to do so (unless that's changed, I haven't read through them in a while). I find it strange how comfortable other people feel selling the ai generated images they have curated. I'd love to hear thoughts on this point specifically because I can't wrap my head around it!

At the end of the day, so long as you aren't hurting anyone, you do what you want. These services are free anyway, so you do what makes you happy. Some ai art is hot garbage, while others can be beautiful works that mean something to someone, and just like 'classical' art, it's about the feeling they evoke in the viewer. Both "human art" and "ai art" are art, that's just how art is, the only difference is what made it.

These are my thoughts and I'd love to hear yours! I am open to discussion as I find the topic quite fascinating and would love to hear other perspectives.

However anyone who decides to pick extremely aggressive fights I will remove in the comments. Different opinions can coexist without death threats to either party, there is never a need for such shit behavior and I will not be tolerant of it.

That said, I genuinely would love to discuss this with fellow artists and ai lovers! How do you view ai art?

ic task 004: interrogations.

she’d always anticipated seeing the inside of an interrogation room. but when she’d played the scenarios over in her head, she had always been the legal counsel, laying her hand over her client’s to signify that they should probably stop talking lest they incriminate herself. and yet, here she is. the person being questioned. flanked on either side by her own lawyers, there to represent her. worse yet, both of them were there as a favour to her father. 

“the important thing to remember,” begins quinn ellis - who, if memory served, was inching closer to being made partner at her father’s firm. no wonder he had been practically jumping at the chance to earn some goodwill with his boss. “is that at this stage, you’re not a suspect. and we’d like to keep it that way. so as always, best course of action is to say as little as possible. cooperate, of course, but we have to be careful not to give them potential ammunition down the line.” heni resists the urge to roll her eyes. thank you, very informative. and here she’d been, all but simmering over with a wish to spill any and all secrets to the fucking bureau. instead, she just nods. the other lawyer (some fresh-faced associate whose name heni has not bothered to learn), flashes her a perfectly reassuring smile. “anything becomes to invasive, we request they terminate. we’re here to make sure this happens on our terms. we’ll get you through this. you feeling ready? ” our terms, she thinks, is shorthand for ‘in a way that will keep your parents off our backs’. “as ready as i’ll ever be.”

with that, the woman gets out of her seat and strides over to the door, opening it with surprising force.  “thank you for giving us time to liaise. our client is ready for you now.”

there’s a moment of relative silence after they’ve all taken their seats. once again, heni allows herself a moment to think about how absolutely ludicrous this whole situation is. all this, because greer went walkabout? 

“miss astor, thank you for taking the time to come talk to us. my name is agent choi, and i’m joined today by my colleagues agent brown and agent murray.” would it be cruel to say she didn’t care? that she could honestly not find the slightest iota of interest in learning their names? hopefully, this would be a one-off. answer some questions, avoid most of them, walk out the door never to speak to either of these three people again. of course, it would be a bad look. so she doesn’t. “we’re trying to clear some things up, and we’re hoping you’d be able to help us.” she can’t help but notice that agent choi doesn’t speak to her lawyers, he looks directly at her, basically treating them as though they are not there.

“let’s begin with something easy. can you talk about your time capsule video? give us some context for the clip that was leaked?”

suddenly, she’s glad she’s in the presence of people who aren’t her parents. she doesn’t want to elaborate on her crippling sense of perfectionism in front of the people who bent her into that shape. the entire reason she’s up at five each morning, making sure she’s on top of all her work. the reason she didn’t just say fuck it and refuse to do the interview. “surely the lore of my pseudo-breakdown matters less than figuring out who leaked it, right?” she asks, an eyebrow raised in disbelief. a girl was missing, a bunch of personal data had been leaked and the fbi’s initial concern was what? her abysmal work-life balance?

agent choi opens his mouth to respond, but agent brown gets in before him: “it helps us get a sense of the wider picture. to consider new angles pertaining to the investigation.”

heni tilts her head slightly. “it was a minute of me talking about being so stressed i’ve not had the time to grieve my missing best friend. is that context enough? or would you like me to elaborate on why i’m exhausted? will that help you find my missing friend?”

and there it is. the hand on top of hers, urging her to shut the hell up. 

“agents,” quinn speaks, in the dulcet tones of someone who de-escalates for a living. “is there any particular reason we’re expending effort on the video clips? or should we perhaps move this along?” despite the gentleness to his voice, there is a harsh undercurrent. something insinuating that he won’t hesitate to demand the interview be put to an end should they decide to dig this hole any deeper. 

“were you aware that greer morrison had submitted a video at the end of last year?”

“i am now,” comes her answer, perhaps a little too biting. she’s quick to reel it in before getting another passive aggressive gesture from either of the two lawyers. “we’d talked about it, discussed doing it together, but it’s not like she showed me a script and asked me to approve of it.”

agent choi nods, takes a second, and then asks : “ had you ever heard of anything regarding THE NAIVE NEWCOMER using steroids?”

heni blinks. once, and then again, as if the act might change what she’s just heard. of course, it doesn’t. the question remains the same. the environment remains the same. the surreal air of it all remains very much the same. “steroids? no. did he? why would i know? ” there’s no answer forthcoming. not surprising, but still immensely disappointing. 

the next question makes her heart sink a little. “some students brought up your relationship with him - why do you think they thought it was relevant?”

because they’re nosy gossipers, she thinks, almost biting down on her tongue to prevent herself from saying it. unnamed lawyer #2 looks at her : “you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, henrietta.” 

“no, it’s fine.” truth is, she didn’t really want to answer any of these questions. “we  are - were close, even before he got with greer. so maybe they thought i’d know something because of that. but i had no idea he was using. turns out, there was a lot i didn’t know about him.”

“like what?”

“well, he’s been expelled in connection with a missing person’s case. that’s not exactly something i’d want in a friend. least of all when the missing person also happens to be my best friend.”

agent choi skims through his notes, flipping the page over before proceeding to ask: “had greer brought up breaking up with him ever? or anything of the sort, like she did in her video?”

“sure - but it was never something she actually considered, you know? her m.o for any little bump in a relationship was always to break up. plus, i think she was mainly saying it to me to offload. sometimes people just say things for the sake of saying things.”

“were you at the party on june 4th in the hamptons that greer is pictured attending on riley vanderford’s social media?”

“my client would have been in the antibes at that point,” quinn says. he taps a manila folder lightly with his fingertips. “should you require any proof, it’s all in here.” agent choi lets his gaze fall to the envelope before shifting it back in the direction of quinn, before ultimately settling on heni. 

“no, no need for that at this point. we’re just canvassing. getting a sense of things.” part of heni wants to throw something at them. why is she here, having to answer questions about parties she did not go to and videos she barely remembers filming? shouldn’t they be out there, looking for someone who actually had something to do with this? “miss astor, were you aware of greer planning to travel to portugal this summer?”

heni shakes her head. “had i known, i would have shared it with the police during the initial questioning.”

“interesting.” it’s agent murray, shifting slightly in her seat. “because we have it on record that you were not exactly cooperative during your last sit-down. is there anything else at all you’re not sharing with us?”

before either of the lawyers can get in the way, heni offers up her answer with the clear cadence of a silver spoon against a crystal glass. “other than me feeling like this has been a waste of both of our time, no. i think we’ve been pretty exhaustive in our coverage today.”

The Person On Your Mind in January 🏔️ 2024 - Sagittarius

Whole of their energy towards Sagittarius: 9 Swords

Feelings: 9 Pentacles & The Star

Intentions: 8 Pentacles & Tower

Actions: 8 Swords

Whoever they are, they’re extremely stressed about this situation, or they know that you are. 9 Swords is clarified by 5 Cups, and King of Cups kept showing up in the preshuffle, I’ve been seeing him for you guys for awhile, as someone you’re dealing with. They think about this disappointing situation all of the time, maybe they have regrets, always in their head about it, playing over and over again. This could be about work, someone losing a job maybe. Because they feel like either they’ve healed and regained their independence & financial stability, or you have. Single energy. Whoever is in this energy is ready for the new, new passions, new love, new paths to take, The Star can show them feeling guided along their soul path in the direction they can feel they need to go. Healing. Could be a an ex too, and either you’re the one ready for new things and they’re very upset about it, or you are.

Intentions are questionable. I’m not sure if they’ve gone through a Tower because of you, or someone in their family. They intend to put all of their effort into this sudden & shocking situation they’ve been thrown into. 10 Cups at the bottom can show this as love or family, 4 Wands clarifying shows their home, relationship, maybe kids involved, they’re focused on stability regardless of the Towers falling in their life, and they’re having to leave something behind…or have been left, maybe by you, King of Wands rev. This could be the aftermath of a divorce or separation, or someone that’s gone through a traumatic experience in the family, they’re just trying to heal & keep their feet on the ground. In action, there’s no speaking, they’re done, could even be blocking you or making it very difficult for you to contact them. Maybe they’re just not speaking about these things with you. With messages, it’s possible this is a parent, or someone you coparent with, but doesn’t have to be. If you have kids together, and you left, they may be changing the locks and their number, possibly blocking access to the children too, or you are, for the time being at least, there is no communication.

Messages:

Their side:

- I’m exhausted with this 😵

- Forever Young

Your side:

- NOT talking to you is KILLING ME 😣

- Loving Parent

Possible signs:

Gemini, Scorpio, Virgo & Aries

If you’re dealing with:

Page of Swords is a very curious, young, intelligent and eager sort of energy. They love to gather information, gossip with everyone around them, and figure things out, the type to fall into rabbit holes and learn everything. They can also be very quiet and watchful, almost a stalking sort of energy, trying to gain information that way. How this applies to your people may differ, they could also be doing this to you in some cases.

Aries - telling you all about their work, or someone you have in common - like family - someone has exciting news/tea to share

Taurus - planning something nostalgic, because they love you, in love for some 😻

Gemini - could be thriving in a home business or seeking to start one, some may be deciding to stay home with kids, or could be pregnant/on leave for children, if not work is just going really well for them

Cancer - 9 Wands & Ace of Wands makes the 10, the actual 10 is at the bottom of clarifiers. They’ve persevered through a very difficult situation to finally get “here”, whatever that means. They may be immediately planning the next thing, very motivated & passionate, maybe angry, about “the end”.

Leo - the scales are balanced, they’re receiving positive attention & victory, if it’s legal they’re winning, if it’s a fight, they’re coming out on top

Virgo - holding back because they don’t know what to do

Libra - giving you a helping hand where you may feel stuck, or you’re doing this for them

Scorpio - shocked that what they were waiting for didn’t happen or happened differently, a lot of similar cards to the reading 💯

Sagittarius - spending a lot of time at home, keeping everything running smoothly

Capricorn - stuck waiting, to an unhealthy extent, or they’re dependent on someone or something else to make decisions, so they can’t, could be related to work - or you

Aquarius - has a new job or financial opportunity of some kind that keeps them busy, could also be the start of something with real potential between you and you or they are weighing pros & cons, is it worth the effort?

Pisces - holding grudges or stubbornly hanging onto a defensive point of view, either regarding you or something you’ve said/done, or you are

9 Hidden Benefits Of Healthy Food

Benefits of eating nutritious diets are not just restricted to weight loss and better health. Here are 9 hidden perks of healthy eating which aren't often given enough attention.

Smile to have a healthy and beautiful smile

Healthy food is not just about strengthening the teeth. Microorganisms found in yogurt could help fight off the bacteria that cause gum diseases, bad breath and plaque. Fruits and vegetables with high fiber content which require a lot eating stimulate the saliva with antimicrobials, which can also lower the number of bacteria in the mouth. Harvard researchers have also found that omega-3-rich fish can lower the rate of gum disease because of the decreased inflammation.

More wrinkles less.

Foods and veggies that have high amounts of water moisturize your skin and allow you to stay hydrated. Also, they are rich in antioxidants which protect against cell damage for younger-looking skin. Salmon, a fish that is rich in omega-3 fatty acids, may help your skin and reduce wrinkles. Once you aim to find out detailed information about wellness, you must browse around https://cugh2019.org/ site.

Less stress

Omega-3 fatty acids protect against the increase of cortisol and other stress hormones. Vitamin C is believed to protect the immunity system, while also reducing the effects of the hormones. Magnesium can be found in the nuts and spinach. It assists in keeping the stress level at a reasonable levels. After stressful situations, black tea can reduce the level of cortisol. This helps to recuperate.

Flat belly

Constipation, a lack of carbonation, and excess air (due to eating too fast) could all contribute to an unflattering stomach. Healthy eating that restricts sodium as well as carbonated beverages with high sugar helps to flatten the stomach. It is possible to reduce constipation by eating foods high in fiber (such like whole grains, fruits and veggies). You'll be more conscious of the foods you eat if you consume food slow. Additionally, this can help reduce constipation.

Do you feel more relaxed

Serotonin is linked with carbohydrate-rich foods, which is a chemical in the brain that improves mood. Complex carbohydrates, including whole grains, are healthy selections because they help to stabilize the blood sugar level. The consumption of foods that contain tryptophan (such such as turkey, fish and yogurt) are linked with better mood because tryptophan can be transformed into serotonin in the body.

There is less hunger pangs

Drops and fluctuations in blood sugar can cause unhealthy desire for food. Proteins and complex carbohydrates can help to stabilize blood sugar, preventing these sudden changes. As your diet becomes balanced with nutritious foods You will notice the cravings for unhealthy foods diminish as time passes.

Power is knowledge

Healthy eating requires education. You learn what foods are nutritious, how to select the highest quality food item, and how to prepare the food. While you study nutritious eating habits and include new food items into your daily diet, your knowledge will increase. As you progress, you will gain more knowledge about nutrition over time.

It is possible to be more selective

One of the most effective ways to encourage children to take healthy meals is to offer a selection. This same approach works for adults as well. Don't be confined to only two veggies and abandon them when you're not a fan. Try new ingredients often and experiment with different cuisines. The more you experiment with nutritious eating, the higher the desire to experiment with different foods.

Better employee

Healthy foods boost your brain power, and this means increased productivity at work. Leafy greens contain antioxidants to protect brain cells from the damage causing mental decline. Omega-3 fatty acid consumption is associated with increased mental alertness and concentration. The better your focus and attitude, the more effective you will be at work.

ok so ive been watching the corona numbers on this website on and off for the past month almost every day and like. seeing the numbers go up so much recently has just been insane. i remember when there was only china above 1k. the exponential growth is fearsome to see

looking at the us having 35k numbers wise now and knowing with the shortage and denial of tests left and right in this shit healthcare system, along with the inhumane working conditions of many companies... just fills me with unease... and i agree with everyone else and am pissed off as fuck that asymptomatic famous people can get tests just like that! i cant do that even though i literally just travelled home from the uk during the travel ban (and limiting the tests to international travellers for so long already capped the us response anyways)

i checked my local news and saw they ran out of tests the day i got home, after doing drive thru testing for only two days. and they are rationing them, giving them only to people above 60 with two or more symptoms now (were already doing that before kind of). emailed my doctor and she confirmed it for me too that i would not receive a test as i am now (not that i have any symptoms anyways but like this thing is everywhere and i care about my family). i wish the us would accept world health organization aid in regards to the tests

my family is in 14 day quarantine with me. preferably longer if i have anything to say about it, given how fast its spreading everywhere and how cavalier americans are about endangering other peoples health. my family cant return to their jobs anyways (which is an impending headache, ageism means my parents might have trouble when the economy is recovering, not to mention collecting unemployment can only go on so long. assuming they dont get corona and have their lungs permanently fucked up to where theyre disabled and cant work). im also nervous about my own job prospects in the next year, and am wondering if im going to be able to get a job outside of this country like ive dreamed of since i was in high school (at least my graduation looks like itll be fine).

so many other people are going through rough times spawned by the freefalling economy that the virus created... its fucking tragic, this mass uncertainty and suffering. besides seeing the videos of lines and lines of coffins in italy and all the videos coming out of swamped hospitals of rows and rows of people on respirators, you also hear of support phone lines being swamped. ,ore people feeling suicidal due to losing their jobs and not being able to pay their bills/provide for their family, domestic violence cases going up with people trapped in their homes with their families who are also facing these extreme stressors. a world in crisis

everyone having all the things they care about cancelled puts a major gloom over everything... and i do personally believe it is important to find happiness in what you can during these times (given the limited state of society) so that your mental state doesnt implode, but that happiness shouldnt be selfish, shouldnt doom other people. people flouting safety regulations and going out enjoying themselves as if this were a healthy vacation is frustrating because the underlying fabric of society (medical and funeral services, the supply chain) being unable to cope with increased death rates is the whole reason we are all being told to limit interactions as much as possible... my heart goes out to all the essential services workers right now. them getting infected and having to quarantine etc as they get infected by the ever increasing number of cases (both symptomatic and asymptomatic) just means that the jobs that hold together human society as we know it currently will struggle further as people take time to recover or straight up die due to lack of medical services. seriously, i wish people being irresponsible would understand the gravity of this whole thing and understand that each and every person has a role to play in saving lives (and that it is literally in their own self interest to do so so that their own life and the lives of those they value arent fucked over because this thing is so far reaching)

Hi! You're probably not going to like this ask, but before getting into it I'd just like to say that this isn't meant as Kamala hate or anything, and I don't really want to offend.

Having said that, wouldn't it make sense that we get to see how Kamala treated Anna after she came out? It's in all likelihood one of the things that's weighing on Anna the most.

Obviously Kamala had her valid reasons: her parents aren't as liberal as the Lightwoods, she believes (knows?) their love is conditional as she's adopted, she's not white and not being heterosexual could further any treatment she's suffered from being different... Her reasons have already been listed multiple times by multiple people. Kamala has the right to stay in the closet and fear coming out. And while that shouldn't be villianised, we can't forget that closeted people can harm those around them.

If Kamala had kept treating Anna like a good friend, rumour would've sparked, and even if it was denied, she'd have been harmed by merely associating with Anna. Especially with the life Anna began leading; she could have been labelled as one of Anna's 'conquests' by the Clave. That, as we've established, is detrimental for her safety.

But at the same time, it would create a breach between Anna and Kamala. And Anna had the right to be hurt by it and weary of it when Kamala said she wanted a relationship.

If we look at it from that perspective, Anna's actions (though inexcusable in how they treated Kamala --who was also at fault for not accepting a negative for four months) make sense. Kamala wasn't only a fling of a week*, but also the girl she lost her virginity with, who asked her to be her secret (until she married Charles, after which Anna's affections would be discarded), who hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna suffered from homophobic commentary, and who now wants a relationship hidden from most of the people that know her.

Kamala shouldn't be forced to come out; but the harm that can do to the women she may engage with is reflective of what happens nowadays. I can mostly think of examples with gay men, so my apologies in advance. But how many women have seen their marriages ruined by their husband having affairs with men?

Creating characters that reflect a toxic part of the 'hidden' LGBT community shouldn't be seen as hating or villinifying. Thomas isn't out and he isn't labelled a villain by the narrative --because his actions don't harm anyone. The hate Alastair gets in-universe is because of his past as a bully, not because he's gay. Matthew's not fully out and he isn't villianised --like Thomas, because the decisions he makes to keep his sexuality hidden don't impact anyone negatively.

I'll even go as far as saying that not even the narrative villianises characters like Kamala and Charles. If it were, they'd be seen more like Grace in Chain of Gold. We'd see how Kamala's actions are affecting Anna's in more ways than anger (that in itself put the fandom against Anna), and the characters would note so. We wouldn't see scenes were Cordelia empathised with Charles, nor Matthew said he loved him.

Be it as it may, Kamala and Charles represent ugly parts of being closeted that can naturally occur when someone is in their position. LGBT people are human. Humans, when put into very difficult situations (and Charles risks his career; Kamala her safety), can make decisions that harm those around them. Consequently, the people they're harming have a right to feel, well, harmed in whatever range of ways --this goes mostly for Alastair, and very partly for Anna, whose treatment of Kamala was horrible.

Readers need to understand what is pushing these 'villianised' characters to harm (again, mostly for Alastair) the more prominent characters and go beyond how they are instantly depicted. Because these are complex characters based on complex real people influenced by very ugly realities we will move on from someday, but sadly not yet.

By the way, Charles and Kamala's situations aren't that similar beyond the closeted thing, but I crammed them together because of a post I saw you reblog.

Please understand I'm not justifying Charles's actions; that I understand the pain he's put Alastair through, and know that he shouldn't ever be near Alastair. Nor am I trying to justify Anna's actions nor hate on Kamala.

I'll just finish my pointless rant by adding that I do think cc has sensitivity readers. I think she asked a gay man to go through tec (I don't know if he still revised her other books, though), and know she asked POC's input when writing someone for their culture. I don't know much beyond that, but I doubt who revises her stuff is up to her. Wouldn't that be something the publisher is responsible for (honest question)?

*I've also noticed people using the argument that they didn't know each other long enough for Anna to harbour such ugly emotions towards Kamala, but Kamala also remembered Anna pretty deeply and is 'in love' with her. I just wanted to say that considering cc writes (fantastical) romance where someone can ask a woman they met two months ago marriage, stressing over time spaces doesn't make much sense. Just my take.

hi!!

alright, where do I start? probably would be best with stating that while I can analyse Kamala's situation with what I know/see/read about racism and discrimination and reasonably apply things I've read/heard from PoC to the discussion, as well as try to be as sensitive about it as possible, I'm still a white woman, so not a person that's best qualified to talk about this.

that being said - if someone wants to add something to this conversation, you're obviously more than welcome to, and if there's something in my answer that you don't agree with or find in some way insensitive or offensive - please don't hesitate to call me out on that.

back to your points though: (this turned into a whole ass essay, so under the cut)

I don't think Anna shouldn't be able to reminiscent on Kamala's behaviour/reaction to her coming out, or be hurt by it. what bothers me is the way CC talks about it - I can't remember the exact phrasing, but the post where she mentioned this suggested something along the lines of "you'll see how Kamala sided with the Clave and didn't defend Anna after her coming out", therefore putting the blame on Kamala and completely disregarding the fact that Kamala wasn't in position to do much at all. It suggest that their situation was "poor Anna being mistreated by Kamala". therefore I'm afraid Kamanna's main problem/conflict will remain to be portrayed as "Anna having to allow themselves to love again and forgive Kamala", while Anna's shortcomings - and Kamala's vulnerable position - are never discussed. I think it would be possible to acknowledge both Kamala's difficult situation and the possible hurt her behaviour caused Anna without being insensitive towards Kamala's character, but it would take a really skilled - and caring - author to do both of the perspectives justice. CC would have to find a balance between being aware of the racism/prejudice Kamala faced/ writing her with lots of awareness and empathy, and still allowing her to make mistakes and acknowledging them. As it is however, I'm under impression that she's just treating it as a plot device, a relationship drama.

I'd say no one expects characters of color to be written as flawless or never making mistakes, it's mostly the way these mistakes are written and what things these characters are judged/shamed/

And that's - at least in my understanding and opinion - where the problem is. it's that the narrative never even addresses Anna's faults, and portrays Kamala as the one that caused all - or most of - the pain, without ever even acknowledging her problems and background.

White characters in TLH make mistakes and fuck up - because they're human and they're absolutely allowed to - but the thing is, non-white characters aren't afforded that privilege. Anna's behaviour is never questioned - none of it, shaming Kamala for not being able to come out, dismissing her desire to be a mother, or any of the questionable things she did in ChoI. Same with Matthew, James, Thomas. Alastair and Kamala however? they're constantly viewed through their past mistakes, and forced to apologize for them over and over, forced to almost beg for forgiveness. Moreover, those past mistakes are used as a justification of all and any shitty behaviour the other characters exhibit towards them now, which is simply unfair and cruel. They're held to a much higher standard.

So I'd like to say that yes, Kamala was in the wrong to keep nagging Anna after numerous rejections, and she was in the wrong to not inform Anna about Charles prior to them having sex - but that doesn't give Anna a free pass to constantly mistreat Kamala. And let's be real, Anna isn't stupid - while at 17 she could be naive and uninformed, I can't imagine how after years of hanging out with the Downworlders and numerous affairs and being out and judged by the Clave she's still so ignorant about Kamala's situation. I definitely think she's allowed to be hurt, but to still not understand why Kamala did what she did? Anna isn't blaming her for not telling her about Charles earlier - which would be fair - but instead for refusing to engage in an outright romance with her. She's being ignorant - and consciously so, I think.

Overall, I think you're definitely right about how coming out - or staying closeted - can be messy and hurt people in the process, especially in unaccepting environments/time periods, and I've seen enough discourse online to know there will never be a verdict/stance on this that will satisfy everyone. I, for one, would really like to refrain from putting all the blame on a single person - but, at least the way I see it, CC is pointing fingers. maybe not directly, but she is. Kamala, Alastair and Charles have no friends or support systems, and the only people in the narrative that defend them are themselves (ok, Cordelia does defend Alastair from Charles, but not from shitty takes about him and his "sins"). Also, sorry, but I don't like how you say "hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna experienced homophobic comments" - it sounds very much judgemental. Kamala had every right to do that? The fact that she slept with Anna doesn't means she owed her something, and certainly not coming out and most probably destroying her life, or even defending her at the - again - expense of her own reputation, or more possibly safety.

As for Charles - it's a different issue here, at least imo - I fear that it'll be implied that his refusing to come out will is his main "sin", and therefore not something he can be judged for, which ironically, will be villainizing, but mostly will mean his actual sins are dismissed. This is where the scene with Cordelia feeling a pang of sympathy for him comes into play, and it worries me. I've never hated Charles for not wanting to come out, but rather for, let's see - grooming Alastair, disregarding Alastair's needs and feelings, disrespecting his mother, being a sexist prick, being low-key far-right coded "make Shadowhunters great again" etc.

As for sensitivity readers - I'm no expert, so I don't think my input is worth much. From what I've gathered from multiple threads/discussions on twitter, tho it is probably consulted/approved by the publisher, many authors push for that - and authors less famous and "powerful" than her. I'm not a hater, but seeing fandoms' opinions on much of her rep, I think she could do better. Because if she does have sensitivity readers, then they don't seem to be doing a great job - maybe they're friends who don't wanna hurt her feelings? Or maybe she thinks a gay guy's feedback will be enough for any queer content - which, judging by the opinions I've seen from the fans, doesn't seem to be true.

Again, these are mostly my thoughts and I'm more than open to reading other opinions, because *sigh* I really don't know how to handle this.

Bottom line - I really really don't want to be hating on the characters in general, playing God in regards to judging the struggles of minorities, or even criticising the characters too harshly for being human, flawed etc. What my main issue is is how CC handles those complex and heavy topics.

I hope I make sense and this answer satisfies you somehow - I also hope someone better equipped to answer might wanna join this conversation.

* I desperately need a reread of TLH before I engage in any more conversations like this, but I didn't wanna leave you hanging. So yeah, I might be remembering things wrong. Again, let me know, I'm very much open to being corrected as well as to further discussion.

* I use she/her pronouns for Anna because that's what she uses in canon

MariJon Week

Day4: Undercover/Stay

Masterlist

Day1 Day2 Day3 Day5 Day6 Day7

................................................................................

Jon hated it. He hates every moment of it. Why did it have to be her. They had a whole host of other options (if he ignored the reasons why they couldn't be taken). Why did it have to be HIS girlfriend that had to go undercover and work under *Lex Luthor*. He shudders at the name.

She was putting herself at risk for what, his dad's mission and the vendetta Luthor has against Supes. She was risking exposure of the miraculous to a megalomaniac of a supervillain. This wasn't her battle. Why did she have to be so kwami damn helpful!!! Jon could happily curse the Justice League out in his head because of it all but it still changed nothing.

He hated it. If he hadn't said it before he hated it.

If someone probed a bit deeper, it wasn't that he didn't have faith in Marinette. He had complete faith in her ability. Her skill. In her competence. Damn… he had spent too much time with Damian if he was thinking like that.

But he wasn't wrong, in a ridiculously short period of time (depending on your baseline starting point) had won Damian over into thinking she was tolerable and an adequate acquaintance to have. He doesn't even say that about his brothers!!!

But to his horror even Damian had thought she was skilled enough and would be an excellent person for this mission (paraphrasing his friend's words).

Jon's issue was. Well the issue for him was he was terrified of all the what it's and maybe's that could happen. The fear of being helpless to save what he held most precious. To loose her to the universe. He knew she would go on about balance and what not, and yes he had met Plagg and Tikki who he couldn't really argue with but still he didn't really care about the universe's balance. He cared about Marinette. He loved her. He wanted her to be happy and to be able to protect her from it all.

But here he was, not there with her, having to listen from a distance as she gathered the vital information they needed.

"Kent! Would you quit your incessant pacing. It's infuriating to observe."

"But Dames, what if"

"Tt - not buts. You either believe and trust in Dupain Cheng or, you idiotical don't. No buts about it."

"It's Luthor though."

Damian pinches the bridge of his nose before sneering at Jon.

"What you're currently telling me is that you in fact don't trust your girlfriend. That she is not skilled enough to keep herself safe or call for help if required. That it wasn't skill that let her subtly hack into Luthors systems enabling Gordon to gain access from the batcave. It was sheer luck that she planted a myriad of bugs around Luthor's offices and meeting rooms catching critical evidence against him. That she is unable to mask her emotions and act calmly in extremely stressful situations even with Trixx's glamour. That Dupain Cheng being chosen for this mission was not based on her skills but by favouritism or pure availability? Is that truly what you think Kent? If so, she should have stuck with the managy incompetent cat she seems to be fond of."

"What?!?! No!!!! She's perfect for this. It's, I, this, ugh,"

Jon deflates and slouches next to Damian. He lets his head rest against the wall while he tries to detangle his thoughts. Damian, content to sit in silence next to the young super, was pleased that Jon had finally stopped pacing.

"I'm scared of loosing her. I'm scared that she is alone and most of her support is not near her again. That it will be like Paris for her all over again. I am terrified that Luthor will somehow notice things aren't adding up and his plans are being foiled and that he'll discover her and use her against Dad. Against me. That he'll hurt her in some horrible ways and I'll be alone. Without her.

I know it's stupid but, I, I love her and don't want her to leave me behind..... I miss Mari."

"Hmmmm… I know she was due back today but the extension is only a few days more. She's survived the last 4 months under Luthor. You'll manage without her till the weekend."

Damian, out of character, patted his friend's arm stiffly. He may not completely understand why Jon was stressed and upset with his girlfriend doing her job (and doing it well) but at least he could try comforting him. He just needed to approach this as Grayson potentially would.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

She was back. She was back! She was back and he still hasn't had seen her!! Dad and Bats had swooped her up for a debriefing. What she had managed to do and get hold of was exactly what the Justice League needed and they wanted to go through the initial analysis with her. Which took time away from him.

Then Wonder Woman had nabbed her to discuss miraculous stuff. Adding to the time he couldn't be with her.

Jon was practically vibrating waiting for her to be free of all the protocol and duty so HE could see her. It had been hours since her return and he was getting desparate to see her.

After what felt like forever she finally emerged. She looked tired and warn out, but to Jon she shone brighter than the nearest star. She was his beacon in the storm of anxiety that had surrounded him since she had been away.

Jon rushed to Marinette and he wrapped her up in his arms. He rested is face in her hair and closed his eyes.

Finally, she was finally back and with him. To feel her in his arms safe. To physically know she isn't in danger and he could protect her. That she was with him. Her warmth. Her distinct vanilla smell. To feel her hugging him back just as tight. To feel and hear her heartbeat against him. His home.

"You're back"

"I'm back"

"I missed you. I missed you so much"

"I missed you too."

"Don't leave me"

"What?!"

They shifted so their foreheads touched. Still close but they could now see each other as well as feel.

"Stay. Don't go. Don't let me go. I… I love you so much. Just, just stay with me please"

Marinette pulled back further and looked up at Jon with clear eyes. She looked AT him and took him all in as she read him like an open book. On tiptoes kissed him on his cheek.

"I love you too. Missed you. Lets go home and I can ignore hero and business stuff for a while." Smirking she gazed at him again "I think we've earnt some us time. I'll stay."

Analyzing Marinette’s hairstyles

So, I’ve actually seen a bunch of different posts and takes of what Marinette’s hairstyles represent and symbolize especially in regard to the episode “Heart Hunter”, but I wanted to go through all the different styles of hair instead of solely focusing on the pigtails/hair down of that particular episode.

With that being said, in no particular order, here we go:

The Bun

This hairstyle is almost exclusively seen in the episode “Animaestro”. However if you’re paying close attention, you will see Marinette wearing this hairstyle, in the old class picture, featured in “Reflekta”. I find the fact that the show made this connection between these two (scenes? examples?) incredibly interesting and very telling. Putting the class picture aside for a moment, one must analyze Marinette’s behavior in the episode “Animaestro”. To be sure, it isn’t great. For the most part, Marinette acts foolishly and immaturely and her actions in this episode, indirectly lead to the akumatization. Marinette, in her jealous state, goes so far as to join up with Chloe (a person she despises), and attempt childish pranks on Kagami. In short, I think that the bun hairstyle symbolizes a sort of immaturity for Marinette. The fact that she wore this hairstyle when she was younger only goes to prove my point. Marinette is not a perfect character, but her actions in “Animaestro” are arguably some of her worst, and naturally when she has hit a low in her maturity level, she reverts back to a hairstyle of her youth.

The Braid

The braid can be easily shoved aside as not holding any symbolism, as just a way the design team chose to incorporate the tail in her costume. However, there were a number of ways the tail could have been incorporated into the Ladynoir costume, and as such the braid must be analyzed. Now, a braid can be considered an almost restricting thing, it carefully tucks back locks of hair and traps them better than an ordinary ponytail can. However, the Ladynoir braid almost has a ‘fun’ twist to it (pun not intended but appreciated). It is long (like really long), and we even see her flick it playfully over her shoulder. I think that the braid is supposed to represent that dualism between responsibility and fun that the job of superhero can have. I have heard a lot of people criticize “Reflekdoll” for its lack of parallels. In other words, Chat Noir learns something and better appreciates Ladybug, but the reverse isn’t true, and I would say that in many ways this is true, Ladybug is not privy to the lesson that Chat Noir is. However, I would argue that she did learn something. Ladybug learned that it’s okay for her to have fun and to joke around. Towards the beginning of the episode we see Ladybug chastising Chat Noir for his joking around, however by the end we see Ladybug embrace this approach and even make some jokes herself. The braid shows Marinette acceptance of balance, of the combination of enjoyment and responsibility within her life.

The Space Buns

This design as well can be attributed to the design team finding a way to show mouse ears, but I’m still going to try to analyze this. I have two different ways to possibly explain this hairstyle. The first being to draw parallels to the bun hairstyle as this is essentially the same thing but two instead of one. The correspondence between the two hairstyles could be seen through Marinette’s feigned naivety in front of Chat Noir. She “accidentally” reveals herself as Marinette and pretends to be less informed than she really is. The other way to translate this hairstyle is as a security blanket so to speak. I haven’t gotten into the metaphorical interpretation of Marinette’s pigtails yet, but I will briefly explain a part of it now (and go into depth a little later). The pigtails serve as a sense of security for Marinette, as a source of status quo. The space buns are that, but elevated. In the episode this hairstyle is featured, “Kwamibuster” (I don’t think I mentioned this before), Marinette is desperate to keep her identity a secret from Chat Noir and develops a convoluted plan (including Multi-mouse) to accomplish this. She wants the security of her identity and wants to use her comfort style at this moment. However, Marinette is trying to distance herself from Ladybug and as such she uses a slight variation of her pigtails in her alternate hero form.

The Ponytail

I’m gonna be honest and say that I can’t fully analyze this hairstyle as we have not yet seen the episode where this hairstyle makes its second appearance. So I’m just focusing here on the ponytail from “Optigami”. I might make another analysis on the ponytail after “Sentibubbler” comes out but it might make more sense to wait until after the whole season comes out, in case there are new examples of ponytails (or other hairstyles for that matter). I don’t want to say anything about Pegabug’s ponytail, because as I’m sure you know, Miraculous trailers can be very misleading. Anyways, after that ramble, I now focus on Ladybee’s ponytail. To be frank “Optigami” was a bit of a doozy. I watched that episode with a sense of dread that did not lighten by the end of the episode. This isn’t a bad thing, but it was intense for a typical episode of Miraculous, a show where my usual reaction is a mix of “oh this is cute” and cringe (to be fair I cringe easily). But what I like so much about season 4 is that we get more than that (I won’t go into this now because I’m straying from the topic too much). Ladybee comes at a time of great stress for Marinette, she gets stuck in an elevator with someone and is thus unable to transform (let alone the fact that that “someone” is Adrien), she is without the help of Chat Noir and most of the other heroes, and (unbeknownst to her for a majority of the episode) her friend has been replaced with a sentimonster. Yet, despite all of this, Marinette remains cool, calm, and collected. She, unlike Alya, does not fall apart and despair when Senti-Nino is revealed, she knows she has to get the job done. A ponytail gives an image of “getting the job done” of focus. Although the situation is dire and dangerous, Marinette displays her competence in crisis and the ponytail magnifies that trait. I have a feeling that the same will be true for Pegabug, but only time (and the episode coming out) will tell.

Hair Down

In the two episodes that we have seen Marinette wearing her hair down, they were both in connection with Adrien and her relationship with her. I want to separate the two examples because though they both wind up achieving similar goals in regard to their symbolism, they do it in different ways. Focusing first on “Chat Blanc” Marinette wears her hair down in part to distinguish to the audience the difference between the two timelines. Though the surface level explanation of her hair would be sufficient explanation, this choice of hairstyle also has a deeper interpretation. This being as a metaphor for Marinette’s vulnerability. She is allowing her feelings to be known to Adrien, she is allowing herself to be open and honest about her emotions and with that freedom she lets her hair free as well. It is also significant that she is free from her secret identity (albeit unknowingly) and as she allows Adrien to see the full spectrum of her personality, she frees her hair from its restraint. In “Heart Hunter” too, this hairstyle signifies vulnerability and freedom. In this episode we see Marinette having fun with Adrien and Kagami, without the worry of how she is being perceived by Adrien, without the stress about her feelings for him. It is of great significance that when she lets her guard down, when she “lets her hair down” (both literally and metaphorically), Adrien comments on her beauty. We already know, as viewers, that Adrien has fallen in love with Marinette’s personality as Ladybug. But as Marinette, Adrien has not been privy to her full personality. He has only been given glimpses, as in this episode, to the full extent of her persona. Marinette is seen later on in the episode to revert back to her old hairstyle once she is no longer comfortable, when she feels inadequate compared to Kagami. She puts back on her guise when she feels she needs the security. Which leads us to that source of security.

Pigtails

I feel a bit bad as I have simplified this hairstyle in earlier paragraphs to a symbol for security. While this definition is a correct one, this hairstyle has more than one explanation. As Marinette’s primary hairstyle, in both her every day and hero outfits, we see this hairstyle A LOT. Because of this, there is an array of interpretation as to what this hairstyle could mean. Starting with the aforementioned, this hairstyle works as a form of security for Marinette. The style required her to hold her hair back, to keep it in check, away from possible disasters and viewers (wind can tangle hair very easily). The pigtails are the antithesis of letting her hair down, a common symbol for freedom and relaxation. The pigtails therefore show that she is on her guard and is protecting herself. The pigtails also represent her quality of being a do-er. She likes to do things, she is an active person, she doesn’t stand aside or wait for things to happen, she works to make them happen. As a do-er she needs focus, she needs a restraint for her hair that could get in her line of sight, and the pigtails do that well. As Ladybug, the same is true. She is focused and determined to accomplish her goals, to succeed in her battles and she needs to tie her hair back to best accomplish this. There is importance in the fact that she chooses to focus herself with pigtails rather than the equally practical ponytail. This can be attributed to the child-like quality that pigtails have. Marinette, simply put, is still a child. Though as a whole she is particularly mature for her age, at times she can show a bit of immaturity. It is interesting to note that as the seasons progress, the more we see her with other hairstyles. As she matures she wears the pigtails less. The pigtails are also a girly hairstyle and show how Marinette is a girly-girl in a plain and easy way. Additionally, the pigtails give her the approachable, girl-next-door look. In simply looking at Marinette one gets the image of her sweetness and good nature. In visual media, it is important to make a connection between personality and visage. In cartoons especially, a character’s design should fit with how they interact with their world, and the pigtails are an immediate signifier as to Marinette’s character. This about sums up my analysis of her pigtails. I know that there are more ways to interpret them, and feel free to comment if you think of any other interpretations!

Red Dress

One Shot- Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N- So I listened to Taylor Swift’s ‘Wildest Dreams’ whilst writing this an it gave me the inspiration for the whole concept of the fic, certain lyrics represent a certain memory in the reader and Bucky’s relationship. Sorry if it’s not your music taste but I hope you still read it and like it <3

Summary- The reader recalls her memory’s with Bucky as she struggles to cope with his loss due to the snap heard around the world…

Warnings- fluff, sadness, loss, happy ending tho <3

‘I thought, "Heaven can't help me now"

Nothin' lasts forever

But this is gonna take me down

He's so tall and handsome as hell

He's so bad but he does it so well’

You’d heard of Bucky, Steve shared multiple happy memories of the times he and Bucky spent together. He only ever painted Bucky in a positive light, Steve always described him as funny, a man of honour and his hero. So, seeing Bucky for the first time was strange, he looked so tired, drained of happiness… worn out. Steve had asked you to join his cause, and you agreed with Steve, the Avengers only ever meant to be helpful and you truly believed in the cause.

“Steve” You heard Sam shout out catching your attention, both you and Steve rushed to the next room where Sam had been keeping an eye on Bucky. You stood with your arms folded over your chest and watched on as Bucky began to stir from a deep slumber. Your heart ached as you watched him, you couldn’t explain it in that moment as to why but apart of you wanted to help him, even if you we’re never going to see him after this. His hair that draped an inch from his shoulders hung over his face, covering his drooping eyes that were starting to open. The stubble on his face hugged his perfectly carved jawline. Though dishevelled he was handsome, an instant attraction had your eyes burned onto him, his bad boy image had your stomach twisting as if butterflies were fluttering all over. Your attraction to this man wasn’t going to end well and you knew it. You watched him look around, his eyes settled on you and all you could do was curve the corners of your lips and smile. He grabbed the metal contraption that was crushing his metal arm, keeping him in place. He looked over again recognising Steve.

“Steve?” his voice was groggy and rough, but soft you could hear the fear and pain in his voice.

“Which Bucky am I talking too?” Steve questioned slowly approaching Bucky, Steve had informed you of the situation Bucky had found himself in, the trauma he’d been through. You found yourself watching intently to watch Bucky’s reaction.

“Your mom’s name was Sarah”

You watched as Steve breathed a sigh of relief.

A small smile crept on the face of Bucky as if he started to remember something.

“You used to wear newspapers in your shoes” Steve knew that he was talking to his Bucky. You watched on as Steve explained to Bucky the trouble he’d caused; your heart sank watching Bucky beat himself up over it.

“It’s nothing we can’t fix together” Your voice was quiet out of kindness as you tried to lift Bucky’s mood, Steve turned to look at you with a smile as Bucky nodded.

“She’s pretty” Bucky mumbled as he motioned his head to you.

“Definitely our Bucky in there” Steve chuckled as he looked over to you. You tried to hide biting your lip as Steve turned to you replacing it with a quick smile, trying to remain silent.

“It’s one of the nicer views I’ve woken up too recently” Bucky moaned as his head fell backwards trying to regain feeling in his body. Steve released him as you and Steve helped him stand up allowing him to control his balance. He was so tall and heavy from his muscular body. The feeling of his flesh hand holding onto you electrocuted you as you looked up from his hand to him. He’d felt it too, the lingering look he gave your hand that clutched onto him before looking into your eyes was magical. Looking into your sparkling eyes made his eyes glimmer the slightest, his face loosened as you watched him try to understand the feelings that were flowing through his veins.

This was the first of many moments you shared with Bucky and you’d never forget what his first words to you were. “She’s pretty”

‘Say you'll remember me

Standin' in a nice dress

Starin' at the sunset, babe’

Steve had trusted you to look out for Bucky in Wakanda as he underwent special treatment. The time you’d spent together was lovely. Watching Bucky flourish in his new surroundings was something you’d never seen before. How one man, so disturbed had grown into a man who could now enjoy a simple, stress free life. He’d confided in you one night, thanking you for showing him the path to happiness in Wakanda and for looking out for him. Never giving up. Once he received his new arm his confidence improved. Time had passed on, you and Bucky were constantly around each other, he wanted you with him, so he knew you were safe, though you were there for Bucky, Bucky felt things he hadn’t felt in the longest time. The thought of loosing the one person who believed in him was devastating…

“What are these?” you pointed to yellow tulips that were sitting in a vase in the middle of the small table that sat in the kitchen.

“Flowers you dummy” Bucky replied as he came up behind you, the hairs on your skin dances as his hands fell on your shoulders with gentle squeezes almost massaging. You loved how traditional Bucky still was, though times had changed, and he’d been through hell and back he always found a way to be a gentleman.

“Why did you get flowers?”  You turned to face Bucky who was wearing a nice shirt and shorts with a grin on his face. Though your eyebrows were furrowed that quickly changed once the palm of his hand rested on your right cheek.

Bucky had fallen for you the moment he’d seen you, the moment your words left your mouth was the uplift he needed. You were the reason he knew he needed to get better. You were going to be one to bring him back to life and give him a heart filled with love and affection. The moment he felt your hand in his… he knew. He knew that everything he was going to go through was for you.

Your cheek melted into the palm of his hand as you let your head rest. You wet your lips biting them in the process trying to hold back a smile. Though you and Bucky had never really spoken about the relationship you two had grown, you were always falling asleep in each other’s arms, always laughing together. Giving each other tiny bouts of affection…a kiss on the cheek, a kiss on the top of your hand, a kiss on the forehead before you both lingered touching foreheads enjoying the intimacy.

“Put on a nice dress.”

“Huh?”

“You have an hour to get ready. We need to head out before the sun goes down. No more questions… trust me”

You took your hour to make sure you looked and felt pretty. Your dress was the colour of red roses with tiny white flower patterns, the dress was tight but comfortable as it hugged your curves and the sweetheart neckline lifted your bust, the sleeves hung halfway down your arms as the sleeves rippled. You made your way downstairs to find Bucky holding out his arm for you to hold on to going down the last couple steps of the house you stayed in together. He gently let you go, turning you around and placing his hands over your eyes, you giggled as he did so.

“Bucky? What are you doing?”

“Just walk forward Y/N. I’ll lead you.” You slowly walked forward without your sight everything felt silent just both of your breathing filled the atmosphere. After what seemed ages but was only seconds Bucky spoke.

“I’m going to remove my hands, but keep your eyes closed!”

You squeezed shut your eyes, to stop yourself from peeking, the urge to quickly open them lose them was high. The noise of a door sliding open made you raise your eyebrows. Bucky’s footstep worked their way back to you, the touch of his hands back over your eyes made you jump but smile, you couldn’t hide your excitement. He instructed you to walk again then warned you to take small step down. You felt the cool evening air hit your skin and you could feel the slight breeze of wind dance in your hair. Bucky stopped you and stepped away then slowly allowed you to open your eyes.  Bucky was sat on a plethora of blankets and pillows surrounded by picnic food and prosecco. He was smiling his devilishly handsome smile that killed you inside whenever he did it. You took in the view of Wakanda, realising the sun was going down, he patted the ground motioning for you to sit next to him. You were pleasantly surprised and in awe of how perfect Bucky and the whole set up was. You took a seat next to him as you both looked at each other.

“You like it?”

“Like it Bucky? I love it!” You whispered in wonder. You felt the same feeling in your stomach as you did the first time you met Bucky, those damned butterflies. Bucky pulled you closer by your waist scotting you closer to him, his arm laid across your shoulder.

“You looking amazing Y/N” He didn’t look at you when he said it and he took a huge breath of air before saying it, the hesitation in Bucky’s voice was prominent but you could tell it was his nerves.

“Are you nervous Bucky?” You turned your body slightly to face him with a huge smile, realising how shy Bucky was suddenly being. Bucky scrunched up his face before shaking his head then nodding his head and shaking it again. You laughed at his playful yet honest expression.

“Why are you nervous?”

“A beautiful girl, who’s been there for me since I can really remember, a breath-taking sunset… I’m a little nervous”

“You’re the Winter Soldier Bucky…”

“That maybe so but I’m never going to forget seeing you walk down those stairs in this unbelievably amazing dress! I’ll remember you in this dress for the rest of my life”

“I really look that good huh?” You smirked, bumping your body against his, you watched as Bucky gave you a chefs kiss.

You and Bucky enjoyed the rest of the evening as the dusky sunset turned to night, by the end you were wrapped in blankets, settled in between Bucky’s legs, his arms draped over your shoulder talking about everything and anything.

 ‘His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room

And his voice is a familiar sound

Nothin' lasts forever

But this is gettin' good now’

The door slammed behind you both, though it didn’t distract you. Your mouth clung onto his, every inch of your mouth exploring each other’s. Bucky had you held up against him one arm wrapped around your waist, his hand holding your neck and his other hand tangled in your as you both moaned pulling on it occasionally as he was feeling the pleasure. Each movement of your lips moving in sync feeling deeper and more passionate. Your legs were locked and wrapped around his waist, not wanting to part from his body. His lips left your as he began kissing your neck making you fling your head back enjoying the sweet pleasure of his kisses. The passionate exchange resorted to your bedroom, you stood in front of him as he looked down at you… you were both fully clothed just looking at each other, smiling as you both knew this is what you wanted. he was blown away by your natural beauty and the confidence you exhibited, he leaned down and began to lift your dress, slowly, he was enjoying watching every inch of you be revealed to him, you lifted your hands to allow the dress to come up over your head. Bucky let the dress slip from his hands before undoing the clasp of your bra, the sensual touch of his fingertips on your back made you crave him so much, you wiggled out your underwear, the whole time your eyes never left one another. It was your turn, the pads of your fingers made Bucky moan and smirked as you let your fingers trace up the sides of his core as you lifted his vest up and over. You let your hands fall flat on his chest, lapping up his picturesque physique, as you did this he unbuckled, stepping out of his jeans and boxers. The silence that filled the room as you both looked at each other’s body was fulfilling until you both broke it immediately crashing into each other, reigniting your passionate exchange, Bucky laid you down on the bed, his lips trailed from your lips, along your neck, down your stomach and along your thighs. You moaned arching your back at every kiss, your nails digging into the flesh of his back. You begged him to give you everything and he did. That night of passionate, loving and playful sex was stunning. You were laid in his arms, his lips placing kisses on your head, his finger stroking your bare shoulder. Life was good.

It’s a shame it wouldn’t last forever…

  ‘And when we've had our very last kiss

But my last request is

Say you'll remember me’

Being reunited with the team after a while was amazing, seeing everyone faces gave this horrific situation a glimpse of happiness. The team didn’t have time to enjoy a reunion or even begin to understand the fact you and Bucky had become a coupe. You all stood on the earth of Wakanda which was now a battlefield. You were Avenger’s it was your job to protect people, and in order to protect those people it was time to protect Vision from Thanos. You watched as these creatures slowly tried to enter through the barricades Wakanda has put up to protect the place. Bucky’s flesh arm was wrapped around your waist as you stood together, his hand settling on your hips. His metal arm holding his most prized weapon. Your arm rested up his back slowly stroking the hairs on his neck. You both didn’t say anything in this moment, you just held onto each other. It was better left unsaid, anything that would be said would hurt more if something happened to either of you. You listened to the plan and saw the barricades come down slowly. You both turned to each other, as a single tear dribbled down your cheek. His thumb wiped it away as he moved your hair over your shoulder letting his hand settle on your neck. You rolled your lips and closed your eyes not wanting to let go of this moment. He couldn’t help but pull you in for a passionate kiss wanting to feel your body against his, your soft sweet lips, giving him hope and love. Pulling away breathless he mouthed ‘I love you’ before running into battle… your heart stopped momentarily as you too found yourself running into battle amongst everyone else.

During the fight you never realised it would be your last kiss… the last time you’d feel Bucky’s hands roam your body, the last time you’d feel his scratchy beard against your skin, the beard you’d grown to love as it tickled your skin whenever he’d kiss you.

Watching Thanos snap his fingers you felt a freezing breeze sweep over you as you laid on the ground feeling broken. You coughed up blood, the pain of broken bones washing over you.

“Steve. Y/N” Your eyes shifted from Thanos to Bucky who appeared from around the corner, a smile appeared on your lips seeing Bucky still alive though clearly riddled with PTSD and pain, his eyes were cold with fright. The smile faded as you began to watch pieces of Bucky begin to rip away and float to the ground in tiny pieces. Your eyes widened in shock unable to comprehend what you were seeing. Steve picked you up along the way as he ran to Bucky, catching him before falling to his knees, pieces of him were slipping through both of your fingers.

“Your red dress… I remember. I’ll see you again” Bucky’s words faded out as he was no longer there. He was gone. Vanished as if he was never alive in the first place. You screamed out in pain, those butterflies in your stomach had crashed into each other and died.

“Bring him back Steve” You cried to him slapping your hands on his chest. Steve cradled as you both watched people fade away into nothingness.

“Bring him back Steve, right now!” You continued to sob your slaps becoming punches repeatedly.

As your cried in pain all you could think about was the first night Bucky had told you how he truly felt about you, that night you watched the sunset, wrapped up in each other bodies.. the night you wore that nice red dress.

 ‘Say you'll see me again’

5 years had accumulated to his moment… and if it didn’t work, there was no more hope left on this fucking planet you thought. Your thoughts raced about how different your life could have been if Bucky was here, would you be married… would you be a mom? All these options were ripped away from you. You wouldn’t move on, there was no moving on from Bucky. Though Steve encouraged you to do so it was impossible, you reminded Steve that Bucky would never give up on him giving Steve the reality check he needed.

Watching Hulk snap his fingers made your heart stop and your eye become glass like as pools of water covered your eyes. You let those butterflies gradually begin fluttering in the pitch of your stomach. You looked outside the big glass windows to see colour, trees fully grown, flowers in bloom and the sun shining.

Round 2 proved to be even worse, less of you fighting was daunting, beginning to feel impossible. You’d managed to bring yourself to your feet and head to the battlefield to stand in line with Steve. You both exchanged looks, he knew you were shattered into a million pieces and if this didn’t work he knew you were gone. You knew he was broken and had nothing left to give. A cracked voice spoke over the earpieces you guys had put in…

“On your left” your eyes frantically searched the skies, your body twisting left to right to catch a glimpse of him, you knew it was Sam. There was no noise just utter silence amongst the destruction, you and Steve shot each other hopeful looks. Time felt as though it stopped as you saw Sam fly over bringing with him a gust of wind as he settled down next to Steve. You bit your lip as Sam nodded at you, he motioned his head for you to look behind. A lump in your throat formed as you couldn’t hold in your tears anymore… thousands of orange spiralling circles floated round you and Steve. You mouth hung open before your cried silently allowing your lips to turn into the biggest smile you’d exposed in 5 years. Bucky walked out from one of the circles with a grin. You turned back around not able to look at him, you wanted to compose yourself. The touch of his hand resting on your waist sent simultaneous shivers down your spine, you found yourselves in the same position as before. Your sides touching and his hand gripping so tightly on your waist. You finally turned your heads to look at each other, his god damn smile.

“I told you I’d see you again” Bucky squeezed you into his side as he let his head fall on to your neck sighing in relief.

“You did” You laughed through your tears as you lifted his head up from your shoulder letting your foreheads rest together.

“You…that night… your red dress… was all I thought about” You could hear Bucky’s vulnerability through the muffled and breathless tone of voice. You shhh’d him planting the tiniest kiss on his lips, those butterflies in your stomach fluttering in full force.

Ahhh, if it's not too much trouble, can you do another part to that pervy sero post where he makes the reader watch porn and stuff, but this time like... fully forces himself onto reader to make sure sure learns abt the stuff he forces her to watch, or maybe he gets kaminari to join in to prove how "normal" it is for friends to watch porn together? Thank you so much!!

Hi!!! bro of course I can!

Prelude - Sero is saved the trouble of thinking up an excuse to get reader to come “hang out” with him because reader gets some bad anxiety the second he approaches her! I tried to make it clear that reader is like HECKA anxious but doesn’t realize it cause sometimes!!! you aren’t able to tell!!! and if your partner is a specific breed of awful, they’ll take your hesitance and vulnerability and swoop in and coerce you into doing something you aren’t sure about. Also, Sero knows a lot about sex and is manipulating reader and giving her false information. Don’t be like Sero.

Prompt - above babeyyy

Pairings - Sero Hanta X Reader

Warnings - NSFW, coercion, dub con, non con. Sero is a manipulative little bitch.

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/7po7c8LzxTZ0ybU41qT5gD?si=5a1Bo4SURJmaQGw-gky-kA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, (Y/N)!”

You ignored the cheerful voice calling your name, continued walking through the crowd of students towards your next class, backpack slung over your shoulder.

“(Y/N)! Wait up!”

You knew who the voice belonged to. You knew Sero was just going to ask you to hang out in his room after class, or wanted to show you another inappropriate picture or video off one of the lewd sites he frequents. If you were unlucky, he’d pull you away from class, make up some stupid excuse and beg for you to come hang out with him cause he’s “lonely” and needs a friend.

Ever since he had you jerk him off (over his boxers) in his room, you’d avoided your friend like the plague. You felt so awkward around him now, embarrassed in his presence. You really felt uncomfortable spending time with him, even when the rest of your friend group was present. He had said it was a normal thing for friends to do, that he and Denki watched porn together all the time. 

Still, you just felt…. Well, weird. The whole situation was weird and you preferred not to think about it, to just avoid Sero and keep your head down, focus on school and training and your other friends.

Sero had other plans.

A hand grabbed your shoulder, spinning you around to face , almost throwing you off balance.

“Why’re you ignoring me? I called your name like, six times bro.” Sero pouted down at you, eyes big and round and you could already tell he was going to guilt you into doing something you’d rather not.

Taking a deep breath, you forced a quick smile on your face, before answering your friend.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Aw, it’s fine.” He patted your shoulder, before guiding you (pushing you) to the side of the hallway, out of the general traffic of the other students. “Anyways, I’ve missed you. I feel like we haven’t been able to hang out, y’know… just the two of us.”

He hadn’t removed his hand from your shoulder, soothingly rubbing his thumb over your uniform. It was hard to focus on what he was saying while he was touching you, while he was pressing you closer to the wall, shielding you from the throng of other students with his body. It was so loud, everyone talking to their friends, talking about homework and the upcoming math test and-

“Are you okay dude? You seem kind of…. Out of it.”

You were kind of breathing hard, and your stomach felt bad. It hadn’t before? Maybe you were coming down with something. You shrugged, trying to knock his hand off your shoulder. His dimpled smile faltered as he drew back, giving your body a concerned once-over. 

“Actually, I don’t feel too good right now Sero… I think I’m gonna go see the nurse.” Before you could push past him and head for the nurse, Sero grabbed your hand, putting his other hand up to your forehead. His skin was cool, soft, fingers long as they pressed to check your temperature. 

“Hm, you don’t have a fever. You probably just ate something bad at lunch. I have Tums in my room, c’mon, they’ll help you feel better!” The male grabbed your wrist, tugged you away from the wall, hesitating when you dug your heels in, reluctant to go with him. 

“Ah, that’s okay!” You sputtered, “I have class and I don’t wanna miss it, and uh, I don’t know what “Tums” are, and my mom told me I should try to stay away from medicine cause-“

Sero’s abrupt laugh cut into your rambling, and you stopped talking, looking up at your friend in confusion.

“Tums are antacids that help settle upset tummies dude! I take them sometimes after I smoke a bit too much.” He winked at you, dimples showing as he smiled.

 “Plus class is gonna start any second now, you’d be late anyways. Might as well skip.”

The bell rang.

You fidgeted, looking around at the now-empty hall, not realizing that the other students had slowly dissipated, filing into their respective classrooms. Sero was right, you didn’t feel feverish, you just felt nauseous and shaky. Maybe taking an antacid would help? Sero was your friend, he was just looking out for you, it wouldn’t hurt to skip class and hang out in his room, would it?

Your stomach twinged, and another wave of nausea bubbled up inside of you. That made up your mind. 

“Alright, fine. But if I get in trouble, it’s your fault!” You conceded, smiling as Sero pumped his fist in the air.

“Yeah! Hangout time!”

“But -“ You paused, biting your lip. This was an awkward thing to say to him would he think you’re a bad friend? “Can you uh… well, can you not do anything like….. weird?”

You hoped he knew what you meant by “weird”.  

“Weird” was touching your friends in intimate places, or having them touch you.

 “Weird” was watching porn together, asking your friends which part they thought was the sexiest. “Weird” was the feeling that arose whenever Sero approached you, the sinking of your stomach, the gross taste in your mouth, the cold sweat that broke out whenever he asked if you wanted to “relieve some stress” with him.

“Of course, I’d never do /anything/ to you that you wouldn’t like. I’m your friend, (Y/N), and friends take care of each other.” Sero assured you, letting go of your wrist to give your shoulder a reassuring pat. You exhaled in relief, smiling back at him, before Sero started moving again, motioning for you to follow him. “Now, let’s go get to helping you feel better.”

——

Sero pulled open his desk drawer, urging you to “Go ahead and get comfortable man” with a gentle nod of his head towards the bed. You let your backpack slip to the floor, sighing when the heavy weight left your shoulders. Sero hadn’t made his bed that morning, but  you figured he probably hadn’t been expecting company.  

Smoothing out the blankets, you took a seat, watching your black-haired friend sift through his desk drawers, looking for the antacid tablets he had promised. 

 A triumphant “Aha!”  signaled that he had found them, holding the little bottle up high as he turned towards you. But  the male didn’t offer you the bottle, nor open it to measure out the tablets for you. He shook it,  but there was no familiar noise of pills rattling inside, instead the two of you were met with silence.

“Aw, shit, I’m sorry (Y/N). I guess I used them all up.” The empty bottle was placed on the desk. “But I have another idea that might work, if you’d like to try it?”

You shrugged,  hand coming to poke at your stomach “It’s okay, don’t worry. I can just go to the nurse-“

“C’mon, that’s on the other side of campus. You really gonna walk all that way? Let me help you out.”

“Really, I’ll be oka-“

“Naw, I found something you’ll probably like - It’s a good flavor.”

You could do nothing but blink at your friend as he plopped down beside you on the bed. He was holding a bottle, one that looked almost like faceewash? But he had said it was a good flavor - did he want you to eat it? You summed all your thoughts up eloquently -“What the fuck is that?”

Sero shook the bottle before he popped open the top, squeezing a gelatinous goop onto his pointer finger.

“It’s just something that tastes good, y’know? Like uh,” He thought for a second  “Jelly! Or like a Gogurt but less sweet. Might help your stomach to settle down.”

Of course Sero would still eat Gogurts. He probably had a stash of them somewhere that he saved for after he smoked, when he got - you had learned from Mina what it was called - the munchies. He offered his pointer finger, obviously wanting you to taste the goop;  you did nothing but stare at it.  

“Don’t be like that, c’mon, try it! It’s good, I promise.”

You weren’t swayed by his playful urging. And you definitely weren’t going to lick that stuff (whatever it was) off of Sero’s finger. Realizing you had no plans to move, Sero sighed, before bringing his finger up to his mouth and popping the digit in to suck off the gel.

“I swear it tastes good, you’ll like it. Here, give me your hand?”

The goop was room temperature, thick, kind of like aloe vera. You brought your hand up to your face, touching your thumb to your pointer finger to feel the gel Sero had squirted onto your finger. It smelled faintly like artificial strawberries, a bit too sweet and unnatural, similar to the fake strawberry scent of a bad candle. You tried not to wrinkle your nose. Hesitantly, you swiped a bit of the gel off your finger with your tongue, smacking your lips together as you savored the flavor.

“Haha, I was right, wasn’t I?” Sero laughed as you licked the rest of the sweetness off your finger, and you couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Yeah, so shut up, you Gogurt eating baby.” 

Sero rolled his eyes as you stuck your tongue out at him. “I knew you were gonna bring that up! Let it go man, Gogurts absolutely rock.”

You ignored his statement, eagerly sticking your hand out so Sero could give you more of the gel. Despite its suspiciously artificial smell, the gel actually wasn’t too bad.  A surprise, but a welcome one nonetheless. Sero held out his hand.

“Ah, wait, I wanna try something.”

With a questioning look in your eyes, you watched Sero toss the bottle to his side, watched the male scoot backwards, spread out his legs. He reached for his pants, started unzipping them, and that’s when it clicked.

“Sero, I can’t believe you, again? This is so weird and so gross, I’m not touching your penis. It was fucking awkward the first time, and I’m not doing it again. Go find some other girl to - to do whatever it is you’re doing!”

Outburst finished, you huffed, cheeks flaming, ready to grab your backpack and stomp out of his room. The nauseous feeling was back, your stomach tight and legs wobbly.

Sero burst out laughing.

“Jesus (Y/N), do you even pay attention to the videos I send you? I mean, “penis”, really?? No one calls it that except for like, sex ed teachers or weird perverts.” You sputtered in indignation, irritated firstly at his nonchalant manner, secondly by the round-about way the male accused you of being a pervert. 

Before you had a chance to open your mouth to defend your word choice, Sero continued.

“I thought it was clear “what I was doing” when I brought out the lube. It’s like you’re not even trying to get comfortable with sex stuff. I’ve been putting all this effort into being a good friend, trying to make sure you won’t get made fun of for being a prude. I help you not look like an idiot when you don’t know what Denki’s saying when he talks about how his latest lay could deep throat. I’ve offered to teach you how to kiss like, a thousand times. Seriously, I’m just trying to help you out, and you’re acting like I’m trying to hurt you.” Sero buried his head in his hands.

“I…… That’s not….” You trail off, distinctly reminded of the last time you were in his room, when you hadn’t known what to say and ended up with your hand on Sero’s crotch; the ravenette talking you through what was happening in the porn he was having you watch. It hadn’t been pleasant, but it had been informative. You hadn’t learned much, but you knew what anal was now, so…. there’s that.

“I’m doing my best to help you learn this stuff, but if you won’t even look at the videos I send…”

You knew Sero was just trying to look out for you, but you don’t remember ever asking him to teach you about sex. You weren’t sure you wanted him to.

“Look, Sero… I just feel like this is a bit too much. I don’t wanna…. Well, I don’t want to…. y’know…”

“Fuck? You aren’t ready to get fucked so good you cry? I get that.” Sero interjected, meeting your eyes with a smirk before you could look away. “It’s really intimidating your first time, but I wasn’t going for that.”

You lifted your head. “You weren’t?” He had been unzipping his pants, what else could he have been getting ready to do? It’s not like hanging out with a friend required nudity. At least, in your experience.

“Of course not, I know you couldn’t handle something like that.”

That stung. Did Sero think you were weak? What even was going on - he was sweet one second, and then almost mean the next. Backhanded comments and rude suggestions,  you wished he was teasing. Maybe you were reading this wrong, and he was just teasing you? Him and Denki got a kick out of flustering you when the three of you met, and every time they ran into you after that, even after you joined their friend group.

“I was gonna show you how blowjobs work, and it’ll be easy since you like the taste of the lube.”

Appalled, you jerked away from your friend, eyes widening. “Woah, woah, I just said I don’t want-“

“-To fuck, I heard you.” Sero assured you. “But this is - it’s not even sex, it’s a blowjob. C’mon, it’ll be okay, blowjobs are easy.”

He was grabbing the bottle (which you now knew held lube) and shuffling his pants down, along with his boxers. You didn’t have time to protest before his cock was out, twitching in the cool air of his room. Sero hissed at the temperature difference of the lube as he squirted a generous amount of it into his palm, wrapping his hand around the reddened shaft.

 A few quick strokes left his length glistening, covered in the gel, applied so generously that a few drops rolled down, dripped onto the wiry black pubes at the base. Sero licked his palm messily, doing a poor job of cleaning off the excess lube, urging you to crawl forward and kneel between his spread legs.

“Here, see? It’s fine. We’re not even gonna think about deepthroating or face-fucking, alright? You go at your own pace.”

You felt sick. But it’s not like Sero was forcing you to do this - he wasn’t shouting or holding you down; his posture was relaxed, easy smile showing off his dimples. You didn’t like the sound of “facefucking”, and you knew what deepthroating was, and you were relieved Sero didn’t expect that of you. Taking a deep breath, you scooted forward, pausing before any part of you came into contact with the black-haired male.

“I don’t know…. What….?” You whispered, afraid of your own voice. You were blushing so hard, you wanted to cover your face, but that would just draw more attention to the fact that you were beyond embarrassed, flushed and sheepish. You’d really rather not do any of this, but Sero was right - it wasn’t sex, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Just one friend helping out another, right?

“Just start out slow, y’know? Try to lick all the lube off.”  

His suggestion seemed easy enough, so you leaned forward, darting your tongue out to hesitantly lap at his cock. You were met with the pleasant taste of the lube, able to detect an underlying flavor of salty sweat. It wasn’t horrible.

You grew bolder, letting your tongue loll out of your mouth to lick broad stripes up the shaft, making Sero groan and fist his hands into the blankets by his hips. The sound made your insides twist, but you were fine - this was fine.

“Aw, you’re doing good. Mm - you can try putting a little bit in your mouth if you want. But watch your teeth, dicks are sensitive okay?”

You put the tip into your mouth, trying to make sure your teeth didn’t scrape or bite. Running your tongue around the squishy glans, you jumped when you felt Sero’s hand on your head. But he didn’t grab, push you down further or hold you in place. The ravenette let his hand smooth over your hair soothingly, petting at your head they way one would pet a cat.

“Fuck, can you - can you try sucking on it? That’s how you give a real blowjob.”

It was hard not to gag, hard to draw your thoughts away from what you were doing with your mouth and the soft, tight skin you were rubbing with your tongue. It felt weird, you felt weird, and you weren’t sure it was in a good way. But you wanted to try your best, not leave Sero hanging. You remember what he had said last time about teasing bitches, and you were afraid he might think you were leading him on if you stopped now..

Breathing through your nose, you hollowed your cheeks, creating a tight suction around the head of Sero’s cock. When you sucked, his dick jumped (it was hard to keep your mouth wrapped tight around his dick - you hadn’t been expecting it to move), and Sero patted your head softly.

“Yeah, just like that. Keep going.”

You did, rhythmically sucking at the glans, rubbing your tongue around the spongy head, popping off occasionally to lick up your excess saliva before it could roll too far down his length. Sero became increasingly more vocal, low moans and blissful sighs leaving his lips in between his gentle instructions.

“You, ah, you remember what we did last time? When you used your hand?”

Drawing back, you nodded. “A hand job.” 

“Mmhm, good job. Do that around the part that’s not in your mouth, yeah?”

Tentatively, you wrapped your hand around the base, cringing at the slick feeling of too much lube and your own saliva. You gave the shaft a long, slow stroke, before fitting your mouth over the top again, suckling hard. 

Sero let out a throaty groan, encouraging you to move faster, tighten your grip just a bit, suck a little bit more of his length into your mouth.  His cock jumped again, once, twice - and then warmth spurted out of the tip. 

You gagged immediately and pulled your mouth back and off his length. Before you could remove your hand, Sero trapped it under his own, using your palm to jack himself through his orgasm, abs tight and head tilted back, his dark eyes closed in bliss.

When you had given him a handjob for the first time, the male had cum, but the mess was (mostly) contained by his boxer briefs. 

Thick streams of whiteish fluid (cum, you knew from the few videos that Sero had forced you to watch) streamed out from the tip, slowly bubbling over and coating your conjoined hands, making everything even messier.

Sero gradually released your hand, letting you pull back from his body, trying not to cringe in disgust at the stickiness covering your hand. You wanted to wipe it off, clean up - now that Sero had orgasmed you were going to run to the locker rooms and scrub yourself in a hot shower.

But as Sero panted, uncaring of the mess dripping to his sheets, he caught your gaze with his own, giving you a lopsided grin. “That was really good (Y/N), you’re a natural.”

The praise reached your ears, but you didn’t feel the little spike of pride that you normally associated with being complimented. 

“Uh… Thanks, I guess.”

Sero reached over to his nightstand, snagging a pocket-pack of tissues, pulling out a few for himself, tossing one to you.  You scrubbed at your cum-covered hand, sopping up the mess before lobbing the soiled tissue into the wastebasket by his desk.

“Okay, um - I’m gonna go now, I guess I’ll see you later.”

How did one leave gracefully after such an exchange? 

Sero’s hand shot out (thankfully now clean) and grabbed your ankle, swiftly pulling you towards him across the bed, causing you to fall onto your back, squeaking in shock.

“Hold on! You’ve got me off twice now, it’s bad etiquette if I didn’t try to return the favor.”

“No! No, really, I’m okay!” You held out your hands, leg wriggling to free yourself from his grasp. “I don’t mind, it’s okay!”

Sero cocked his hand, slowly beginning to rub his hand up and down your calf, in a mockery of a massage. “I know you’re okay, I want to make you feel great. I’m good at this next part.”

He winked, the hand not rubbing your calf coming to pull at your school skirt, flipping it up to reveal your panties. You whined, trying to push it back down, cover yourself, but Sero clicked his tongue, easily batting your hands away.

“Don’t be shy baby,  you got nothing to hide.”

“Sero, this is really making me uncomfortable - I don’t -“

“Shh, hey, you know I would never hurt you. I’m your friend, and I only want what’s best for you.”

Your panic was rising, blooming in your chest like a heavy flower, petals dropping and falling to your stomach to dissolve into acid that boiled into nausea. But that was just nerves, right? 

Sweat was already pooling on your back, slicking up your hands, making your hair cling to your forehead. 

Sero was your friend, but this was starting to feel a little unfriendly. But you didn’t have time to think when his hands were pulling down your panties, exposing your cunt to his hungry gaze.

“Damn, you’re real pretty.”

You squirmed, opened your mouth to protest, but Sero was hefting one of your legs over his shoulder, opening you up for easier access to your folds. He was going too fast, this was all going too fast and you couldn’t-

Long fingers swiped along the outside of your pussy, sending a twinge of sensation (pleasure?) up into your tummy.  They stroked up and down, spread your folds, tapped around the puffy pink skin until they came in contact with your clit. With a gasp, your hips involuntarily bucked, chasing the sensation. Sero grinned at you.

“See? It only gets better. Let me take care of yo, it’ll all be okay.”

His fingers continued to pet you, slowly collecting wetness as it seeped out of your pussy, shame coloring your cheeks and making your arms curl across your chest, as if to hold yourself. Sero didn’t seem to mind, not when he was so focused on touching you.

He used his other hand to pat around the bedspread, looking for the lube he had so carelessly dropped earlier. When he found it, you heard the cap flick open, and then the cold gel was squirted onto the top of your slit. You gasped, squeezing your eyes shut, trying to keep your hips from jumping forward when Sero massaged the lube onto your pussy, using three fingers to smush and spread the lube around.

It felt exquisite.

Your thighs were tensing, short, little spasms of the muscle each time his fingers came into contact with your clit, and you could feel your pussy pulsing, oozing out wetness. Breathing shakily, you whined when Sero traced a single finger around your hole, teasing.

“I’m gonna finger you open, alright? You look so sexy like this, letting me make you feel good.”

His finger entered you slowly, a long, steady press. It was uncomfortable, but not exactly unpleasant, and smooth due to the lube. You wanted him to wait, to let you adjust to the intense sensation, gather your senses, but the ravenette kept steady, drawing his finger out at the same pace before pushing it back in.

Sero’s thumb rubbed at your clit, swiping back and forth, smushing the little nub and making you (to your embarrassment) moan. It felt good, the nausea in your stomach fading as the pleasure built.

Next thing you knew, Sero was fucking you with two fingers, then three, increasing the pace on each addition.  Your hips were bucking wildly, thrusting down each time his fingers pushed up, fucking yourself on his long, slim digits.

“Sero, Sero, ah, ah-“

You cried, and your friend swore under his breath, before his hand left your cunt empty. Opening your eyes, you barely had time to look at the male questioningly before he was grabbing your hips, flipping you over onto your stomach. You squirmed, able to feel your hole clenching and unclenching rhythmically - you felt unusually empty.

“Sero?”

Something hard and hot was pressed against you, Sero leaning over you, his legs on either side of your own as he pulled your hips up and back, putting you on your knees.

“Calm down, I’m only gonna put in the tip. It’s not sex, no need to worry.”

The tip? 

You realized what was happening, why he turned you over, what was pressing up against your folds, what the male mean’t by “just the tip”

“Wait!!-“ You thrashed, breathing heavily, clawing at the sheets to pull yourself forward, away, anywhere but pressed up against your friend.

But Sero was stronger than you, had your hips in a bruising grip as he pressed forward, his cock breaching your hole. He kept you still as he thrust shallowly, keeping to his promise of “just the tip”.

It was bigger than his three fingers had been, and the stretch burned. It quickly simmered to a slow build of pleasure in your tummy, ramping up when a hand snaked around your hip, coming to roll and pinch and slap at your clit gently.

“Sero!” Whining, you couldn’t stop your hips from moving, pushing back towards that delicious friction against your clit, the gentle thrusts just barely entering your cunt. You didn’t want him to go any further, but your body craved for more.

The male seemed to sense this, or maybe he was just too wound up, but on his next thrust, he went too far inside, kept on going, pressing, rutting inside your until he was buried to the hilt.

Sero had officially gone too far.

“This is-“ you gasped as he rubbed your clit feverishly, interrupting your thoughts., distracting you from the burning stretch of his entire cock being plunged into you. It was a struggle to regain them again. “Sero this is too-too far. It’s wrong! Stop!”

He laughed, his throaty voice trailing off into a groan.

“If it’s so wrong, why are you about to cum? Girls can’t cum if they don’t want it.”

Horrifingly, he was right - you were about to cum. The pleasure was building and rising, it wouldn’t stop. You had no time to breathe, or to even cry as Sero began hammering into your cunt, energetic, chasing after his own pleasure while speeding you towards your own.

Each thrust hit deep, his hips twisting on each thrust so his cock /swirled/  up against your walls as he pushed into you. It was entirely too much, and yet he wouldn’t stop.  He was moaning and swearing behind you, puncturing each push of his hips with a “so good baby” or “your pussy is so tight, fuck.”.

You didn’t know what to focus on.

Sero shifted, and his next thrust hit something deep inside of you, and you couldn’t help but wail as you came. Sero groaned as your pussy squeezed him tightly, his thrusts increasing in speed until he pulled out, furiously jacking his cock over your back.

You barely even flinched when you felt warmth drip onto your skin, where your shirt had ridden up.

No longer held up by Sero’s strong arms, you collapsed forward onto his bed, confused, relaxed, filled with countless emotions that you couldn’t even begin to identify. Sero flopped down beside you, utterly spent, panting heavily. There was silence between the two of you as your breathing evened, coming down from your high. You felt exhausted.

“Sex feels really good, doesn’t it?” Sero broke the silence, reaching over to rub your shoulder. “I’m sorry about going so deep, guess I got kinda caught up in the moment, y’know?”

You didn’t.

At this point, you didn’t even know what to feel.

Didn’t even know what to do.

Moving In

And done! The winner of the 500 raffle, @a-third-attempt​, requested a story featuring a clumsy male arachnid with a gender neutral reader. As I’m mainly familiar with driders, I decided to create a tarantula drider for this story. I hope you all enjoy! Gender Neutral Reader (POV) x Male Monster You tread the beaten path before you with steady steps, letting it lead you deeper into the forest. Your legs are grateful for the chance to stretch and the low-impact of the flat ground beneath your feet. The scent of faint petrichor and deep earthiness fills your nose with a long inhale. It’s calming, overall, more so thanks to the cool spring air. And best of all, your planned venture is taking you to one of your favorite places. The Selenite Hollows showcase an amazing array of different gypsum crystals. You learned from your many visits that they can be bent into different shapes with one’s bare hands. This method is how you received the white, corded pendant hanging against your chest. All thanks to your boyfriend, Tarren. 

You couldn’t have predicted his creative side when you two first met him four months ago while hiking. That presumption was thanks to how he accidentally tripped over his eight legs while coming closer to introduce himself. But you found his clumsiness charming along with the fuzzy, tarantula legs he supports himself on. The fact that Tarren’s white hair contrasts beautifully with his gray upper body and pitch black bottom also helped immensely. You’ve spent numerous weekends visiting Tarren at his abode. And you’ve treasured the time you two spend together, exploring uninhabited parts of the Hollows and greeting his nonhuman neighbors. It’s a shame you won’t be able to visit the caves again. 

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip at the fact. Thanks to the growing instability working its way around the Hollows, it’s been deemed unlivable by the City. And as such, its residents have been given ample time to collect their belongings and move. Tarren included. You blurted a solution once he shared the news: moving in with you. Unsurprisingly, he sputtered at your suggestion, his eight black eyes widening then flitting to the ground. While you both have visited each other countless times, you’ve never stayed overnight. But after weighing the positives against the drawbacks together, he agreed to a temporary stay. Which left you both happy and apprehensive. You had prior significant others before him, but you’ve never felt as at home with them like Tarren. A small yet growing part of you worries about him seeing your habits. You consider yourself pretty normal. Sure, there may be a few odd food combinations you love that others have turned their noses up at. And your exes have complained about your snoring and starfishing habits. But you both care deeply for each other and such small things would never change that. Right? As you approach the Hollows’ entrance, your stomach begins to make itself known. A frisson of fear churns inside you, unwilling to be ignored. You’re forced to pause to steel yourself by taking a deep breath. Think of Tarren; what you’re going through is meager compared to his sudden displacement. There’s no use in adding more stress to an already taxing situation. So you plaster a smile onto your lips and cross the threshold. “Incoming!” You swiftly step to the side, avoiding the resident chiropteran children who almost barrel into you. The older two of the group dart past you with a brief “sorry!” after a quick use of chirps and clicks. The youngest trails behind them, flapping their large bat wings in order to gain ground. But the two dive down a pathway out of reach, leaving the little one to squeak in frustration. You huff out a laugh and call out to them, reminding them to be careful. You wouldn’t be surprised if they managed to finagle their way out of helping their parents pack. You walk past the home of the young naga couple who are tending to their son, offering a kind hello, one they return with smiles. Their neighbors, a multi-generational family of mothpeople, chitter happily when glimpsing you. The matriarch offers you some homemade, sweet nectar cookies, for you and Tarren when you both have a moment. You pause to thank her for her kindness before promising to return. You continue onward, greeting the other dwellers until you reach the final “house”. Inside, Tarren carefully gathers some of his belongings and tucks them into an antique trunk you gifted him on his birthday. When not afflicted with his endearing clumsiness, he moves with a slow sleekness that hints to his true strength and dexterity. You can’t help but admire the sight and lean against his home’s entrance to admire him. He begins turning towards his books, but his dark eyes notice your movements and flit towards you. “Hey there, handsome,” you say with a grin. Tarren beams, revealing the ends of his prominent black fangs. His hands skim one of the book’s spine as he hurries toward you. He leans down to embrace you, and you revel in the way his claws graze against your nape. “Lovebug! I’m glad you’re here.” His hold tightens to a comfortable snugness, one interspersed with trembling. “So very glad.” You thread a hand through his thin, short locks and nuzzle against his cool cheek. From what Tarren told you about his childhood, he’d been something of a loner. And not by his own choice. Concerning his particular species, once self-sufficient, they were expected to leave the nest to fend for themselves. So the fact that he found a welcoming community to live in was a godsend. Having to lose that sense of belonging and familiarity in one fell swoop... Hopefully, with a bit of luck, he’ll come to see your cabin as a new home. Tarren presses his lips against your temple, his palps caressing your skin. You tilt your head back and gently kiss him, long and slow. Being careful of his fangs, he deepens the gesture, coaxing a sigh from your lips. Needing air, you pull away and hear him whine in reply. “There’ll be more where that came from when we get home,” you say around a chuckle. His smile falters, but he quickly turns away towards his bookshelf. As if to keep you from seeing. “Of course,” he says. “I just have a few other things to pack.” Ignoring the growing uncertainty in your chest, you force a smile. “How can I help?” With Tarren’s instruction, you’re both able to finish loading his belongings into his trunk in a timely manner. This gives you both time to say your goodbyes to his neighbors. After providing your contact information and collecting your promised sweet nectar cookies, the families promise to reach out to you both once settled. The hike back towards the outskirts of town is quiet, interspersed with soft chewing. The cookies are delicious as always, but their sweetness does nothing for the awkwardness between you two. Tarren is more focused on keeping his trunk balanced on top of his abdomen and taking in the passing sights of the forest. “Everything okay?” you gently hedge. Tarren startles somewhat, but his attention turns to you. He smiles, but it’s lacking in sincerity. “I’ll be alright. It’ll just...take some time, is all.” You hum, unsure of what else to say. So you stay silent, turning phrases and topics in your head to pass the time. And hopefully to make Tarren feel more at ease. You both come to the crest of a hill with a large tree at the top, the last landmark before glimpsing your cabin. The outside is rustic, as many are and neatly surrounded by growing foliage. That took some time to do as did tidying up the inside as you took into account Tarren’s larger size and gait. But the completed preparations don’t deter the nerves quivering in your stomach. Still, you do your best to present your home with a flourish of your hand. “And we’re here!” Tarren takes in the two-story structure with a soft smile. “It’s very charming,” he says. “Just like you.” A sudden heat fills your cheeks as you wet your dried lips. If he’s able to flirt, then maybe he’s starting to feel a little bit better. You vow then and there to do all you can to alleviate his discomfort and make him feel at home. “Right back at you, handsome. Come on, I’ll show you where you can put your trunk.” You both descend the hillside. Tarren slips a little on the way down, but recovers with your help.  Due to the size of the cabin’s entrance, he switches to carrying his trunk and squeezes through the door. In anticipation of his arrival, you’ve shifted the layout of the living room’s recliners and table, ensuring a clear path for him. You hadn’t touched the kitchen as of yet, wanting to hear his opinion. “You mentioned having an attic, right?” That question throws off your train of thought. “Oh, um, yes. It’s somewhat dusty since I haven’t had time to clean it yet…” “That’s fine,” he says. “Do you mind if I stay there?” Your eyes widen. You’re tempted to object since the attic is no place for anyone to sleep. But Tarren simply caresses your cheek and gives you a soft smile. It’s what he’s always done to reassure you. “I’ll be fine. I can even tidy it up for you. It’ll give me something to do after unpacking.” You shake your head, trying to speak. But Tarren doesn’t give you the chance. “I’ll come down later once I’m finished. Get some rest, alright?” He turns away, slowly carrying his trunk up the stairs. The doubts that began rooting themselves in your minds plunge deeper. You can only watch as he walks out of sight, listening as the attic’s hatch opens and closes. Part of you wants to follow after him and reach out. But the delicacy of the whole situation weighs heavily on you. Even as your stomach churns at the decision, you turn towards the kitchen to make lunch. Turning on the slow cooker and pouring in last night’s venison stew doesn’t require much effort. But it does give you more time with your thoughts, which slowly but surely, are veering towards the negative. A high-pitched beep from the pot’s timer refocuses your attention. “Is that lunch?” You jolt, nearly dropping the used ladle into the sink. Tarren shrinks away, looking at you with guilt-filled eyes. “S-sorry. I’m still unpacking, so I was hoping to take it upstairs.” You don’t want to exacerbate his remorse, so you quickly agree and provide him a spoon and a paper towel. He softly thanks you and retreats back upstairs, the sight leaving you unsettled. Little did you know this would be the norm for the next few days. You’d wish Tarren a good morning and a good night from the second floor when the time came. Then, you’d go about your daily tasks, including working from home on your laptop. The only time you’d see Tarren was when hunger or the need to bathe forced him from the attic. He’d always take his meal upstairs and go further up the pathway towards a nearby river to wash himself. Even then, sometimes you’d never catch him when he returned from outside. It’s no surprise that sleep became elusive during this time. You lie in bed on your back after a bout of tossing and turning. But it wasn’t due to any myriad of invasive sounds. No, it’s the discomfiting silence from the attic. The not-knowing; the growing distance between you and Tarren. Restlessness pulls at your limbs and you give into it, climbing to your feet. Your dry mouth could use some water anyway. You quietly take the stairs, being cautious of the areas prone to squeaking. It made witnessing the sight before the kitchen sink that much easier. Tarren sits facing the basin, his legs bent and his lower half flush against the wooden floor. The moonlight from outside reveals his claws carefully tugging at pieces of his loose exoskeleton. He hisses, his fangs becoming prominent as he lifts away the rigid covering. You only notice the lack of distance between you two once your hand touches his shoulder. Tarren startles, his wide eyes flitting up to you. They widen more as your vision blurs and waters. “Lovebug?” You slowly kneel by his side, taking in his presence but resisting the urge to embrace him. “You’re hurt,” you croak out. “No, no, dearest. I’m not hurt. Just uncomfortable. I’m....well…” He turns away from you to stare down at the leg he was tending to. “I-It’s time for my molting. It isn’t the most pleasant thing to see and I didn’t want to worry you…” You silently repeat the last few words of his explanation and suddenly, things click into place. Why he kept to himself mostly and didn’t appear before you except to tend to his most basic needs. Frustration and guilt grip at your chest but you realize you’re partially at fault for simply not talking. As Tarren keeps explaining himself, fear lacing into his expression, you wrap your arms around him and lean into his chest. He stutters out your name, tensing, but you hold tight and refuse to stay silent. “I didn’t want to force you to do anything because I thought it’d make you uncomfortable. But part of me also didn’t want you to see my bad habits, either. To regret...wanting to date me.” Tarren relaxes in your arms, releasing a long breath. His arms wind around you, drawing you closer. “I guess we both wanted to show each other our best sides,” he murmured. “But we ended up hurting each other, instead.” You sniff, feeling a few errant tears roll down your cheek. You look up at Tarren and he wipes at the growing wetness with the pad of his clawed thumb. “We did,” you say, “but we can fix that. Starting now and from now on, if you’ll let me.” A long pause. As his claws skim against the nape of your neck, making you shudder, Tarren nods. It takes three hours for you both to finish coaxing along the molting process. Once done, you both pack the old exoskeleton away in a large trash bag. Immediately after, you notice Tarren’s movements becoming sluggish with him barely able to keep his eyes open. Cupping his cheek, you murmur that you’ll be right back before bounding up the stairs and into the attic. True to his word, Tarren had cleaned up, leaving no traces of dust behind. You’ll have to thank him once he’s fully recovered. But for now, it’s important to tend to him. You grab the extra blankets and pillows kept in storage and toss them through the hatch before climbing down. With some maneuvering, you’re able to carry the pile down to the living room and set up a makeshift bed. It takes patience and shared leverage, but you both make it towards the bed and snuggle into the soft, plush pile. Tarren gathers the majority of the pillows to support his upper half while his lower rests flush against the ground. “Comfy?” you ask. “Yes, very.” His half lidded eyes take you in while his hand finds yours to intertwine your fingers with his. “I’m sorry for not explaining myself these past few days. I just...wanted you to still look at me like you are now.” “I am, too. Just know that I love you, Tarren and I want this to last. As long as you feel the same way.” “Oh Lovebug, how could I not?” The sleepy way his mouth slots against yours and his palps caress your skin tell you more than words could ever say. But the way he breathes “I love you, too” against your lips isn’t unwelcome. As sleep slowly claims you, you inch closer to your boyfriend as he nuzzles your hair. Tomorrow will bring a new day, the first of many that you know you will use to strengthen your relationship. Together. 

Major ACOSF Spoilers

Okay so I try to keep an objective opinion I really do and I try to keep user friendly when it comes to Rhys because I know people like him. But I’m going to be talking about the baby situation in ACOSF and yes I’ll be talking about all parties involved, I’m tagging this anti rhys, anti Feysand, and anti inner circle just to be safe, so if you see it in tags that are not this than it’s tumblr trying to start fights again and any rude commenters will be blocked.

First off let’s talk about madja because I feel like people forget that a medical professional neglected to tell Feyre (the mother of the child and the patient at the time) pivotal information about her and her child’s life. Correct me if I’m wrong but if a medical profession in real life did that they would get in trouble for not telling the patient first unless said patient was a minor. Which Feyre is not. Most doctors have to tell the mother the danger to her child’s life. No matter how hard the news may be to hear. Any good medical professional would. I don’t give a damn if Rhysand is her high lord, Feyre is her high lady and if the narrative stresses so much that Feyre is Rhys equal when it comes to the power balance of the court than Madja should have still told Feyre first.

Secondly Rhys. I’m tired of people making excuses for him. It’s the reason I’m an anti in the first place because the fandom/ the narrative refuses to hold him accountable for anything, Here’s the thing, besides Madja, he’s the one who should be held the most accountable. First off let’s get into the fact that he knew prior to the pregnancy that any child they could possibly have may endanger Feyre’s life, but he thought it was such a low chance at happening that he never bothered to tell her about it. And the vision that bone carver showed him may have also contributed to this, However, wasn’t it revealed on the second book that the bone carver could twist the truth, like the fae can’t outright lie, but they don’t have to tell the whole truth either. Like there’s plot holes with the bone carver all together but thats a discussion for another time. But even if he assumed there was a small chance, he should have still told her. In case you know they had more children in the future than if she still decided to get pregnant than it would be her choice and she would have all the information prior. He also told a medical professional that she should keep Feyre’s medical information away from her even though he’s always stressed how important Feyre having a choice is to him. Yet he takes a choice about her autonomy and her child away from her. There’s a reason why when Feyre finds out the truth about her son, she reasonably upset that Rhys didn’t tell her. Also these two have a pact together that if one of them dies they’ll leave this world together. So if you think there was a threat to both their lives he would not only tell her, but tell the inner circle about it too, I mean they literally waited until the last moment to tell anyone about it which was a poor choice to say the least. Like if both of them die and their son survives than who would raise their son?? No one knows. Also if the reason Nyx has wings in the first place was because Feyre was in her illyrian form wouldn’t you just you know not have sex when she’s in her illyrian form in the first place.... and bringing it back. You’re telling me that she couldn’t shift to her illyrian form, from my understanding both situations are equally as dangerous so wouldn’t you pick the one that had the highest survival rate??? I- what?? Also you’re telling me that you can stitch Cassian back up with an open chest would but a csection is near impossible. How?? Also let’s not forget that when Feyre reasonable confronts him about keeping information about their sons life away from her, he deflects blame from himself and places it on Nesta, shit like this is why I fucking despise Rhys. Like sure dude, you’re the one who kept all this information from YOUR mate/ Your equal, but let’s blame Nesta yet again because accountability on your part always seems to be too much for you...Like I get the irrational anger, but still it’s not a fucking excuse for why you shouldn’t be held responsible for your actions. And then he decided to tell Cassian to get Nesta put of his court before he killed her. So you’re going to put added stress on your pregnant mate by threatening to kill her sister. 🙄🙄🙄 Like I can’t with how high his head is stuck in his ass, Like hold yourself accountable and apologize to Feyre about keeping that shit from her, because the one she’s probably the most pissed ah is Rhysand. You know the father of her child, The person who knew the information first, neglected to tell her, and told everyone not to tell her and his reaction makes me think that he never even intended to tell her in the first place, which is not what you do with someone who you find your equal. And this post is getting too long but I’ll make a part 2 to this because I’m not done talking about this.