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sepublic · 2 days

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Alright, let's talk about some details from the TOH pitch bible;

A lot of the stuff is what we've already seen and/or in line with the show. What's interesting is that King WAS a former King of Demons at one point, and we would've had an episode where he runs into his old gang and chooses Luz and Eda over them. It makes me wonder if he even had a connection to the Titan in earlier drafts, if he wasn't recognized as one back in the day because he just wasn't big enough, etc. Eda makes a deal to help remove the collar, which IS the source of King's woes, placed by a 'mysterious wizard', I wouldn't be surprised if it was Obron AKA Proto-Belos.

What gets me is that Tibbles originally started off as a friend to the protagonists, while Bump was an antagonist! Coupled with Tibbles being re-elected as mayor after Bump is deposed for corruption. I like the detail of Bump being a parasite controlling a body from the head, because it carried over into his final design with Frewin, and before we got confirmation Frewin was a separate entity, I loved the joke theory that the imp on Bump's head was the REAL Bump!!! Seems that was always the implied story of the design, I love it. Tibbles being the demon fan of human stuff would eventually become Gus instead, so this is technically Proto-Gus too…?

Interesting how Bump and Tibbles' alignments switch completely with one another, and it makes sense that with Lilith no longer the principal in the final draft, it goes to Bump, who ends up being really chill and a subversion in his own right! Interesting, but I do prefer the final Bump we got, and that's fine by me, because when the concepts aren't as interesting as the final product, it means we got the best possible version.

I've already discussed Obron and William in a separate post, and Pupa is someone we've been told about in a previous livestream. Lilith would've been both head of all covens (and not just the Emperor's Coven) AND principal at the same time, and she seems much more of a jerk to Eda in general; She has no qualms with cursing Eda because of a direct order from Obron.

Apparently the curse would've been an AGING spell, which settles my questions on how it would've been portrayed in earlier drafts! This goes along with Eda's older look. Likewise, there would've been a subplot of Eda considering Luz's sacrifice as a way to restore her youth, which likely goes hand in hand with Obron's orders to bring Luz to her, etc. The 'Bloom of Eternal Youth' quest, which Eda and Lilith go through together as their sisterly relationship is explored, feels like a carryover from this past idea.

I think I prefer the final draft; I like that the curse isn't just aging Eda, but also takes away her magic, makes her turn into a beast, etc. I like Lilith being a lot more complicated in her relationship with Eda, instead of just hating her and cursing her without hesitation. The redefining of the curse makes it less about age, and more a chronic illness metaphor, and I like how Eda in the final draft is upfront about having to learn to live with it, deal with it, on her own terms. She isn't trying to find a cure (although Lilith being promised one by Obron feels like a carryover of Eda's moral dilemma with Luz), and that adds another nice dimension to her conflict with Lilith, as well as Gwen. It's pretty frank in its own right about normalizing disability, and those who play an antagonistic role (however brief) are the real weirdoes for making such a fuss about it.

The Bat Queen would've had more of a recurring role based on the description, which saddens me; I always got the vibe she was planned for more, but between all of the other stuff the show had to juggle, plus the shortening, she ended up getting shafted despite being one of the earlier characters. Sashley, Pasha, and Bruno are also interesting, with Pasha in particular giving me freaking Philip Wittebane vibes with his grossness, beard, and anti-demon attitude; He even starts off as a potential friend to Luz because fellow human, only for his true bigotry to show. Makes me wonder if Philip ended up incorporating Pasha, we also have bodily transformation because of consuming magical stuff... P-names.

(Also, I like how in the drawing of typical Demon Realm denizens, I can see an eye demon who resembles a past drawing of Dana's!!!)

Eda was actually a late bloomer, which creates a parallel with Luz in one way, and their relationship is referred to as sisterly (in the final draft it’s explicitly maternal). So Eda wouldn't have been the talented youth, in fact things may have switched between her and Lilith; Lilith's disdain may have partially come from Eda not being as innately talented as her.

Luz and Amity's dynamic seems like it would've had Amity retain a lot of her more stand-offish, pragmatic personality even as a friend with Luz, and this would've come up more; So basically, she'd remain more like S1 Amity. That, or this part of their relationship would've lasted longer, and then we would've seen character development as Amity unlearns a lot of the issues her parents passed on. I also wonder if the Willow who cameos in the pilot was originally supposed to just be an extra separate from ‘Paulina’, but then they combined the two together.

The themes are exactly as I expected, glad to see they're still there, nothing changed! Luz becoming a witch and defying all odds to do so, putting in real work and passion. Celebrating individuality amidst conformity, plus Luz trying to impose her own fictional tropes onto the world, only to have to put that aside... Just like Wing it like Witches. It seems Amity would've had more involvement with Luz's journey to become a witch, though we still do have a carryover of that disconnect with her rant near the end of Covention.

I love the Demon Realm being situated BELOW the Human Realm, way to be subtle about being Hell you guys lol... Apparently portals to the human world are a lot rarer to find and use, which makes me wonder if the pilot's 'dimension port' doesn't have access to the human world; Meaning Amity is Luz's only way back, so her improved relationship with her is linked to getting back home. There's a gag about the Knee having service with the human world, but I can see how that didn't make the cut, for dramatic purposes; It seems like the premise for a S1 episode or at least a B-plot. Would Luz have struggled to communicate with Camila through this, or would her search for wi-fi be for mundane reasons?

Apparently Luz's magic would've required a lot more steps to complete, and I see why the show simplified things down to just glyphs. I wonder if there was always going to be the connection of glyphs as a gift from the Titan, or if the Titan and her story was going to be less intertwined in the overall narrative. There also don't seem to be nine main covens, just the many, many covens, some of which are pretty ridiculous, and Covention's sub-covens seem a callback to that.

Luz's first spell would've been levitation, and THEN she would've infiltrated Hexside, with Amity being a lot subtler about exposing Luz, though in the final draft she does figure that out as the way to go in I was a Teenage Abomination. Yeah, I prefer Light being her original spell, feels so much more symbolic and personal, etc. I wonder if the Titan is even as much of a character in early drafts, and if there's still the whole connection/relationship with the land and learning to respect it aspect. Some of these hypothetical episodes push the idea of Amity as a more episodic, typical popular kid antagonist, though in the final draft, the show goes through her character development and explores Amity's romantic relationship with Luz and its complications.

It seems the idea of the Mirror Ghost was split into Adegast and Vee, with Adegast being the one who offers the easier narrative for Luz to believe in about becoming a witch (only to be a fraud who uses uncanny puppets), and Vee being a doppelganger whom Luz communicates through with mirrors. Interesting how Yesterday's Lie was born from this. We saw the test animation from Spencer Wan for TOH, so I guess we know what Luz's puppet-doppelganger is called! And we can safely call her Proto-Vee. I wonder if she also would've been a sympathetic character, I always thought she reminded me of Lake from Infinity Train (and speculated her to be as such since Enchanting Grom Fright), and now the similarities are even MORE apparent!

Alas, The Good Witch Azura, or 'The Unassuming Princess' seems like it'd have been a lot less dear to Luz's heart, as the pilot also reflects; In the end, it turns out the author is just Eda's ex using her adventures as basis, and including private information. I remember when I once speculated that Raine, before we saw their face, would've been just like this as the author of Azura... Again, I think I prefer Azura as being a lot less mean-spirited in the final draft, and instead a celebration of who Luz is as a person, her relationship with fantasy and fiction, etc. We also would've had a Luz birthday party, the Quincenera we've been hoping for since S1...! In the final draft (and episode) we still get that Human-Demon Realm disconnect, though by that point, Luz is much more attuned and chill with the isles.

There’s definitely more of an episodic, sitcom feel to this pitch bible, especially when you compare Proto-Yesterday’s Lie to its final version. Makes sense, Dana is pitching this to Disney executives, though her statement on Understanding Willow feeling truly like her show makes me wonder if she always intended to push TOH in that more serious, emotional route we got.

#the owl house #the owl house pilot #king clawthorne #principal bump #hieronymous bump #luz noceda #the owl house tibbles #lilith clawthorne #eda clawthorne #edalyn clawthorne #amity blight #lumity #boiling isles #analysis #the good witch azura #meta #speculation

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neoflect · 1 day

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sharing some of my disorganized jojo musical thoughts now that ive had a week to sit on it and ive rewatched it several times over. i intended to wait to publish something like this until a subtitled version was available, but im not seeing any indication that thats happening any time soon so for now youll have to deal with my loose interpretations from my extremely rudimentary and rusty japanese… so take what i have to say about the finer points of characterization with a grain of salt. gratuitous spoilers below obviously, both for the original source material and the changes made in the stage production

my feelings are OVERWHELMINGLY positive. of course there are things i can criticize or that i would have personally done differently but oh man… i have literally not thought about anything besides this fucking show for a week. im 100% confident in saying this is a better adaptation of the source material than the tv anime. sorry to the davidpro staff, i respect their hard work and their love for jojo and their dedication to what is by any metric a pretty difficult property to adapt off of the page, but i dont know if i can ever forgive them for leaving half of the first episode’s storyboard on the cutting room floor in order to fit a standard half-hour tv slot, especially considering that what they cut is some of the really crucial character-building stuff. happily those scenes are not only reproduced in the stage version, some of them are expanded upon!

with the quick disclaimer that i’ve only managed to get my hands on the final 4/14 performance with shotaro arisawa and yoshihisa higashiyama, from what i’ve seen the casting is perfect. i’m sure there’s a rip of the 4/13 performance somewhere (i’ve seen clips) but i haven’t been able to find one… every single performer knocks it out of the fucking park, the cast chemistry is incredible and even the minor characters are loaded with charisma. and mamoru miyano… my god… mamoru miyano i owe you an apology. i was not familiar with your game. of course hes been killing it for decades at this point but i had soured on him a little bit recently because i felt like he was overcast in everything and i just didnt connect with his dnt reinhard at all, so when the casting was initially announced back in august i was underwhelmed, and of course my standards for the dio role in particular were astronomically high… i’ll go more into detail later in the post because i have so so many things to say about dio’s characterization here but mamoru miyano’s performance is like, life-changing. i had impossible expectations and he exceeded them.

sorry if im gushing. i am a hater by nature. its unusual for me to be so thoroughly pleased with something. im not even a musical theater guy. these are strange new feelings for me.

just to balance things out i’ll talk about a couple of the things that didn’t really work for me: first of all, the music is just ok. my initial draft of this post called the music “bad” but three additional viewings later i have warmed up to some of the songs. i don’t know if this is a shortcoming by dove attia as the composer or if it’s just me, as i said i’m not a musical guy and a lot of the genre conventions of musical theatre are not really the things i look for in music that i enjoy, but like… even at their worst they are serviceable. nothing here is sonically unpleasant to me. high points are “resolve of the ripple” (zeppeli’s hamon training song, a jazzy swing number - it’s simply catchy and fun to listen to) and the closer “phantom blood” (a sweeping ballad that reprises the earlier “light and darkness”/”golden spirit” leitmotifs into an epic duet between jonathan and dio as they join hands and walk off into the darkness together… made me cry! i wont lie! on every single one of my numerous viewings this one got me misty eyed!)

wait i forgot this is supposed to be the part where i’m being critical. ok my most loathed song in the musical is “dio’s world”. sorry dio nation. it doesn’t really work for me. i think this might be a case of my standards/expectations being too impossibly high because it’s not even really the worst song in the whole thing. and of course miyano eats it up so it’s not really his fault. i just find it kind of underwhelming… i find the melody a little grating, it’s kind of just a generic rock number, it’s just missing a particular je ne sais quoi…. the essence of dio isn’t there… lyrically though i am obsessed with the premise of dio recruiting his minions by selling himself as a kind of social revolutionary who is upending and inverting the brutal hierarchy of post-industrial victorian society with zombie blood magic. you win some you lose some.

the second sticking point for me is the costumes. they’re perfectly serviceable… adequate… but i mean when it comes to jojo “serviceable” and “adequate” costume design obviously falls well below what’s expected, right? a lot of the outfits have kind of a boxy, almost flat-looking kind of unflattering fit on the actors, which if i wanted to be generous i could attribute to the challenge of bridging the gap between these frail slender musical theater twinks and the two-meter-tall 250lb roided-out beefcakes theyre meant to be embodying. (bearing this discrepancy in mind a lot of the insane martial arts stuff in the second act doesn’t really land with the oomph that it should, but i also understand logistically why this kind of casting is not practical, and all things considered i think shotaro arisawa does a really incredible job of embodying jonathan joestar even though he kind of looks like i could snap him in half over my knee like a twig. he’s very cute. so i’m not mad about it.) of course, again, logistically, i understand that in a stage musical production, where actors only have minutes to complete costume changes, some sacrifices have to be made to the creative vision in the name of practicality. nevertheless this is jojos bizarre adventure!! i want to see some fucking baubles!!!!!!

which is all to say that… after carefully considering it for some weeks… i still have extremely mixed feelings about dio’s grink ass feather bathrobe look. it’s not that i dont think its something he could wear (the concept of dio lounging around in his gothic vampire palace doing re-animator style body horror experiments on the local wildlife in this “officer i have no idea what happened to my husband”-ass nightgown is nothing short of hysterical to me) but then he wears it into combat and i felt a little disappointed… it has the same unflattering fit issue as the other outfits in the show, and it is just such an un-araki-like design… where are the gaudy color combinations? the bizarre geometric patterns? the tease of an exposed boob/thigh/midriff? erina gets a stage-original dress design that i have fewer issues with because the excessive pleats and ruffles have more of an araki-esque sensibility, but every time i look at dio’s robe it feels like there’s something missing. i’m going to choose to be nice about it because it’s not at all a deal breaker and, again, mamoru miyano devours the look. it’s fine. it’s always fun to have a new dio outfit. if anything, the fact that the blu-rays are being marketed as “2024 cast version” gives me hope for the possibility of a future production with a new vision for the costume design. (although the fact that this was such a difficult production - with stunts and pyrotechnics and moving setpieces - that its entire first week was cancelled indicates to me that the prospects for a future production from a different company are impossibly slim. i guess there’s always hope?)

in terms of the writing and the changes that were made from the original narrative, honestly i don’t really have an issue with anything that was cut. sorry if there are any diehard stans of Poco’s Unnamed Sister out there who are steamed that their favorite minor late phantom blood character got the axe, i kind of understand how you feel because i’ve been malding over david pro cutting the Danny Lore for eleven years, but i think it was the right choice and the story flows so much better. the real juicy meat at the core of phantom blood as a narrative and the thing that brings it head and shoulders above so much of the rest of jjba is the character-driven drama - that deliciously pulpy victorian gothic family tragedy - and the relationship between jonathan and dio. the musical beefs up the character drama and slims down the action-driven second half by trimming out the extraneous battles. the only real downside i see to this is that the absence of tompetty and his prophecy makes zeppeli’s arc and death feel INSANELY abrupt, but tbf that’s not a deal breaker for me. sorry zeppeli. you were born to die.

okay. okay. i think 1500 words into the post is enough fucking around so let’s talk about the real reason why you and i both know we’re here

musical dio is SO fucking sad. he’s positively wretched, you guys. he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone and forced to eat cement when he was six. he cries even more than he does in the source material and even when he’s not crying he frequently delivers his lines as though he is moments away from bursting into tears. back when the musical first opened i was snooping on the reactions on jpn twitter and one commenter said they could see miyano’s tears and snot from the nosebleeds even without opera glasses, a remark i initially assumed was hyperbole but that i now think probably was not. araki’s dio is certainly tortured and a deeply pathetic crybaby beneath all the cruelty and posturing, but changes in the musical and miyano’s embodiment of the character bring this pathos to the fore. he is literally haunted: dario’s ghost lingers, a manifestation of all of dio’s traumas and insecurities that emerges from the recesses of his memory to taunt him with the reminder that he will always be his father’s son, all the way up until the very minute that jonathan breaks down the door to his vampire lair. i am OBSESSED with this - not only for the obvious reason that i delight in dio’s suffering personally but also because kong kuwata is a delight and he fucking kills it every time. also lends itself to a category 10 leitmotif moment at the top of the second act when dio emerges from the charred ruins of the joestar estate singing dario’s theme and calling out to jonathan - if i had to pinpoint this is probably the moment when this musical stuck for me as the Real Deal. they Get It.

the first solo number in the show is dio’s disney princess I Want song (amazingly, simply titled “dio”) where he weeps for his late mother and his wretched lot in life, and then - in a creative decision that made me clap my hands and hoot and holler at my screen in real life - there is a reprise of this number (delivered, naturally, through tears) when dio is almost arrested for murder and decides to become a vampire instead. so there’s this amazing hopeful uplifting inspirational orchestral music accompanying the onstage action of dio ruthlessly slaying jonathan’s dad and then getting pumped full of lead by a bunch of cops. it is brilliant. 10/10 no notes. it’s moments like this that i think really sell the “softening” of dio in the stage version for me, even though i am historically Not A Fan of fanworks that take a similar angle - like, yes, he is sad, but specifically he is narcissistically obsessed with the spectacle of his own suffering, he is boiling over with bitterness and rage for everyone around him who (by his own estimation) could never hope to have suffered as much as he has. this sensitivity and self-pity he wallows in are not expressions of a guilty conscience or a desire to change - they’re entirely the opposite - every cruel and monstrous deed dio commits is always justified to himself because he is simply the saddest little boy who has ever existed. he has been done wrong by the world and so there is no limit to the depravity he may reasonably respond with. i’ve seen several commenters describe this as a drastically different interpretation of the character from araki’s dio (and someone told me on twitter that mamoru miyano himself has also said this, but i cba to go digging for an actual source so take it with a grain of salt?), but i… dont think thats the case! dio’s obsession with his own weakness and his self-perception as the eternal underdog (as compared to jonathan) are certainly more exaggerated in miyano’s performance, but i don’t think this is an angle to the character that’s been manufactured out of whole cloth. the genre conventions of the stage musical force the melodrama up to eleven and dio’s incredibly repressed angst is the most rich vein to mine for that. hair-trigger sadist dio is still here, it’s the same guy, he’s still killing people mercilessly, you’re just getting to see him sing a big ballad about his feelings instead of confining those to an internal monologue.

if anything, the exaggeration of dio’s pathetic/cowardly/crybaby traits combined with his megalomaniacal aspirations and bottomless well of cruelty is just right. it’s perfect. fucking around, finding out, and then trying to weasel his way out of the consequences with crocodile tears just so you don’t see him drawing his knife to cut you clean open… yeah. thats the stuff. thats my one true blorbo. sad to say i will love him for ten thousand years.

i think that might be all i have to say… or at least all i feel like saying here… most likely ill come back and edit this post later. i certainly have some additional thoughts and some more esoteric/controversial takes but they’re not suited for a public blog. real ones will understand. im keeping my eyes peeled for somebody to translate this thing but to be frank i am kind of enjoying this little corner of fandom as it is right now: just the asians and the true hardcore phantom blood phreaks. i have not had this much fun in jojo fandom in almost a fucking decade. as soon as somebody publishes an english version my timelines going to get flooded with all the most deeply annoying “kono dio da” “speedwagon waifu” reddit guys and 15 year olds and my suffering will proceed. unfortunately this is my lot in life and i am doomed to be here forever because dio put a worm in my brain

#⚰️#jjba tag for blacklisting purposes but i dont want this in the main tag

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bulkhummus · 1 year

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dr jones is a simp

based off some chats w/ keri

#fellas is it gay to be so obsessed with a man you want to become him #janet: im a lesbian janet: still toxically possessive over her exhusband #< hc #to anyone who says carlos wouldnt get his hands dirty….. my man killed god #young carlos is so fucking cute look at him lubelles gonna squash him like a grape #just a lot of stuff in no particular order #wtnv #welcome to night vale #cw violence #cw blood #cw injury

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sydney-carton-of-sour-milk · 2 months

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The Many Illustrators of A Tale of Two Cities 2: Rowland Wheelwright

That's right, we're jumping centuries and mediums!

...specifically, from Phiz's engravings for the original 1859 monthly installments to Wheelwright's paintings for this 1925 edition! (warning: in the following, there is some violent imagery, and one image in the third grouping has blood)

As I'd mentioned in the announcement post, these illustrators will be highlighted completely out of chronological order to make it more organic when I continue to find more and more artists' work to add to the queue - so I wanted to start off with a particularly dramatic leap in time (and style!) to give a sense of the sheer variety of art we're going to be looking at here!

This also happens to be one of the sets that I scanned myself - most of these beautiful illustrations haven't anywhere on the internet (by my own intensive research at least!) until now. It's my joy to finally get to share them!

Overall, I want to give my own opinions and takes on the work of each illustrator as little as possible so that everyone can experience it in their own way, but the true beauty in his attention to detail in color, characterization, costuming, composition, and shadow calls for some comment.

This is the work of someone who loved and appreciated both the story itself and the act of illustrating it - I'm grateful to him for bringing these images into existence.

& the standard endnote for all posts in this series:

This post is intended to act as the start of a forum on the given illustrator, so if anyone has anything to add - requests to see certain drawings in higher definition (since Tumblr compresses images), corrections to factual errors, sources for better-quality versions of the illustrations, further reading, fun facts, any questions, or just general commentary - simply do so on this post, be it in a comment/tags or the replies!💫

#A Tale of Two Cities #AToTC #dickens #charlels dickens #classic literature #victorian literature #illustration #illustrators #Rowland Wheelwright #1920s #my scans #alright this is my first one queued!#having a lot of issues maintaining my focus while doing alt text so i'm kind of changing my approach to the broader project by like #winging it basically #gonna queue stuff out of order and do stuff like that #so it feels good to be really doing that! queuing this a week and a half before it's gonna be posted!#and i'm just so excited to be posting these in particular they are just so lovely #darnay's head held high as he holds his spouse and child tight...the stress on carton's face and the hand on darnay's shoulder...#the entire pross and defarge drawing! ugh! this man understood Story #even the simple detail of charles holding his hat to his head in the driving rain....it's almost always about the details man it really is

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ley-med · 2 months

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Some days the hardest part of my job is convincing other people that they actually need to do their job. No you are not doing me a favour and I'm not asking for a favour either, I'm telling you to do your goddamn job.

#medblr #residency chronicles #everyone else was putting up their legs and stuff #and they were making faces when i asked them to do their job #on the other hand i didn't get to eat or drink anything for the first 6 hours of the shift #im still salty about it #like yes you need to monitor the patient im wheeling in with the instruction 'monitor the patient'#no it's not enough to measure their blood pressure every ten minutes or so #i need the whole BP-HR-Sat monitor thing #also it's only temporary and the patient will be placed in 30 minutes #also there are two of you and only two other patients on the floor i don't think im asking for a lot when i tell you to also draw some blood #yes i know how to draw blood but also it's literally in your job description #these two particular nurses are the bane of this floor #they are the only ones who i have to actually beg to give the patient in pain some pain killers #pain killers i ordered hours ago #and they have the nerve to say the patient is just faking it #like sure they are fake crying but let's see how well you would hold up with a broken femur on that godforsaken bed with no pain killers hm?

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twicethetrouble · 2 months

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Perry demands his hammock's return immediately. No he will not take "later, it's in the wash" for an answer.

#random stuff #Murry and Perry #Well technically just Perry lol #I got them a fuzzy hammock b/c this one doesn't like sleeping in the huts at night #They both love it so much I had to order a second one #Perry in particular spends a lot of time in it #He is not happy about it needing to be cleaned lol

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tactfulsaboteur · 1 month

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1, 2, 3, 10 reading asks

book i absolutely hate? i put down books i can see i won't like pretty quickly so i don't really have a rant locked and loaded for this one. i can go on and on about whole genres as a whole though because i can tell they're just not worth the paper they're printed on. the shelves and shelves of mediocre fifth-grade level fiction being marketed to grown ass adults. everything by joel osteen. [vomits] romance novels

book that first got me interested in reading? i've been reading ever since i can remember but the first 'real' book i can recall reading is the count of monte cristo by alexandre dumas, truly fantastic classic (i'm currently in a reread with the improvised book club right now actually!) i was also a redwall kid growing up of course, and also enjoyed the deptford histories by robin jarvis and gregor the overlander by suzanne collins. lots of anthropomorphic animals killing eachother in gruesome ways for some reason. i will forever be smug about reading suzanne collins before the hunger games got big though and tbh gregor was much better

did i actually read all the books required in school/did i start out that way? i was homeschooled so required reading was mostly public library summer reading programs, but yeah i've mostly always been like that. they couldn't stop me really

tell you about my top (any number i want) favorite books? opening a can of worms here, don't say i didn't warn you. it's no secret i'm a sci-fi guy so top of my list is always blindsight and echopraxia by peter watts. that shit changed me for real. wyrms by orson scott card is another one that, though fiction, contains a lot of very interesting thoughts. (standard 'card is a weird dude' disclaimer here.) i recently read jorge luis borges' short fiction, some very well done and intriguing concepts there. philip k. dick is a long time favorite of mine, the martian time-slip is particularly good as well as his dozens of short stories. and finally i will not shut up about gödel escher bach, i'm still wading through it but it's fantastically written, a lot of fun to read and i can already tell it's going to leave a mark

#whew that's a LOT sorry lmao #more recs in no particular order.#rifters trilogy by peter watts (some stuff not for the faint of heart in there so watch out)#stella maris and the passenger by cormac mccarthy #the laundry files by charles stross #(be warned the more recent stuff has had a bit more of his personal opinions injected into it but i still like it for the tech lovecraft)#mark z. danielewski's house of leaves of course #if you don't read anything else by charles stross at least take a look at timelike diplomacy #it's early enough to be relatively untouched ideologically and it's an incredibly fun almost-cyberpunk space opera #shadow and claw by gene wolfe (also not for the faint of heart)#if you read manga dorohedoro #q hayashida is an amazing artist and it's just so well done. dark but very funny #songs of a dead dreamer and grimscribe by thomas ligotti #(thank you to the friend who recommended him i owe you my life)

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dementedfilament · 9 months

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Cu-wip-osity Tag Game~!

Thank you @bvbyphoenix for tagging me!

(My main was tagged, but I'm posting this here to keep writing to the writing blog~)

Rules: reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. (I'll only include fandom-relevant ones for this post, and idk many people in the fandom, so if you see this: Tag! You're it!)

WIPs:

ets log: rec(Obsession.lov) Part [2]: Eden(Love) manages to recover her Obsession code successfully, as it's become her only reason for living. She continues trying to hold onto the code without it being found and removed again, while also obeying ETS's tests so she can get outside the facility and start looking for Marcus again.

Part [3] will be her excursions outside, mostly about clubs and parties she goes to between her work (which I'm making that she has to find a proper "opening" or something to the Meridian). ETS allows her to have fun so she can learn better how to blend in with people, but truthfully, she's gathering info about Marcus's wherabouts.

Untitled: A brief drabble that takes place during Inversion: Another Story about how Chelsie is glad Kody got kicked out so he wouldn't have to be in that situation.

Untitled: Kody is talking with his therapist about people can be burdened with grief even without the physical death of another.

A Clearing in the Algae: An update on Chelsie and Kody, and how things are starting to get better for them.

Imperium Willow(Darlin'): I admittedly forgot why I wanted to write this oops- Willow manages to survive this AU, and swears revenge after holding David's lifeless body in her arms.

Aftershock: Another Lament: I still want to work on this okay- But just for fun, I'll briefly list the parts I had in mind for it:

P1 - Angel: How Angel is doing after hearing about David's death. Will end with Milo and Chrys(Sweetheart) trying to reach her so she's not alone.

P2 - Alpha: Asher is having nightmares, and he and Emmanuel(Baabe) talk about Asher's becoming Alpha, and how he would rather have David back.

P3 - Sire: An update on Vincent and Gracie(Lovely). Will end vaguely in order to branch off with the person they chose to let Vincent turn.

P4 - The 69: Huxley was chosen to be reborn in Route 1. After being greeted by Vincent, Lasko (wearing an eyepatch) and Damien (in a wheelchair) enter to check on him. They discuss what happened and grieve their losses, while also including the fact that Gavin returned to Aria for an undetermined amount of time.

P5 - Detective: Milo is having nightmares about being outside the ward watching people die. Chrys tries to reassure him, and they continue into talk about the investigation. Chrys is on leave do to their motorcycle injury, but has received a promotion due to their work during the Inversion.

P6 - Healer: Willow joins Sam alone on a rooftop to reflect on the Inversion. She asks about how the kids are doing, and Sam provides updates. He also mentions that D.A.M.N. is now extremely shortstaffed, but they're having a flood of people wanting to study healing, and they've offered him a job knowing he's very skilled in that area. Willow thinks he should accept the offer, but he's not sure if teaching is what he wants to do.

P7 - The Freelancer: Cora was chosen to be reborn in Route 2. After being greeted by Vincent, Gavin and Caelum enter to check on her. They discuss what happened, including Lasko and Damien being in the hospital, and grieve their losses.

P8 - Dreamer: To end the series, we cut to Jessi(Blake's Listener) and Blake out on a date. Blake basically goes "uhuhu according to keikaku" while Jessi has no clue that her bf is a psycho.

Pending P? - Sister: This was a bonus chapter I've already sorta decided to pull, but it was going to purely revolve around my Blake's Sister OC Ava, and her feelings about this new case opening up as a result of the Invesion. This includes the police chief asking her (probably offscreen) if she'll be able to handle a case that involves her sibling, and revealing to Kieran (maybe Chrys on call) that the dreamwalker that interfered may be her brother. She reveals to them that while the two had a tense relationship growing up, and haven't spoken in years, she still loves her brother as a family member and may find it difficult to combat him.

Lovestruck: This drabble series has 3 chapters already, but here's my super secret list of other drabbles with their songs that I intended to write but haven't gotten to:

All of Me or Everytime We Touch- David/Angie

Drag Me Down - Emmy/Asher

Stereo Hearts x Zaalima - Milo/Chrys

Love Me Like You Do [Cello/Piano] - Vincent/Gracie

*I Like It [Remix] - Amalia (OC)/Briar(Bright Eyes)

*I Like It [Remix] - Fred/Ryder (OC)

*This one was technically the next one I intended to write, and was left off in progress. It's going to be a double-drabble.

Rather Be - Avior/Stella

Birds of a Feather - Elliot/Sunny(Sunshine)

Hypnotic - Vega/Hydra(Warden)

Fever Dream or Shut Up and Dance - Blake/Jessi

Burn Break Crash or Accidentally in Love - Guy/Amy(Honey)

Can’t Help Falling in Love [Dark ver] - Ivan/Rivka(Baby)

Glad You Came - Kieran (OC)/Lasko

A Thousand Years ["Wedding" Ver] - Will/Kalila (OC) [Probably won't make]

Fever Dream - [Bonus gn listener if I feel like it] James/"Darling" (This was before he had a real listener, lmao. I don't actually know what the listener's name is though...)

Bad Things Happen Bingo (for Redacted):

Hanahaki: I've had an idea scribbled down to write this for Sam and Willow, specifically Sam since I've been enjoying the one-sided yearning on his part, ehehe~

Basically, Sam gets Hanahaki Disease, and the clan is trying to figure out what's wrong with him. William cites that it's an old and rare disease he hasn't seen in a while, and tbh, I have no idea how else it would go other than that, lol.

Locked in a Cage: Angie(Angel) right before her execution in the Imperium.

This is For Your Own Good: Avior realizes he completely fucked up handling Stella's(Starlight's) memory loss. Before their relationship shatters beyond repair, he holds her down and erases her memories to have one more shot...again.

Vague Ideas:

Vega/Warden: I just wanted to write about Hydra, and reference how she's friends with Caelum 💞

Vaelum Fluff: ...Okay soooo I kinda want to make a Vega/Caelum fic, but I don't really have any ideas for how to go about writing it, so it's just been a desire of mine silently floating through the void. I just know I want it to be soft and fluffy 💕

Kody Redemption P?: Maybe or maybe not a part where Chelsie goes to get her things back from her ex, but he tricks her into getting her alone so he can hurt her. Chelsie manages to reach Kody and in a very melodramatic fashion, Kody goes fisticuffs with her ex. He somehow gets out of it less harmed than Chelsie is, so she ends up in the hospital longer. This will be the second time she meets Damien, who will now be in a wheelchair.

Kody Redemption P?: I did want to include somewhere that he started going back to college somewhere else and met a cute and sweet girl that he likes and likes him back. It will also touch on how he slips back into his bad habits of stalking and possessiveness, but whether he stops talking to the girl or forces himself to correct his behaviours, I haven't decided yet.

Quinn Arc Shorts [My Ver]: I did intend once upon a time to fill in some of those blanks that Yours in Eternity, My Dearest had about what was going on with Quinn, but I'm not sure I have the desire to anymore honestly. I still have the spot reserved for it tho.

Vincent/Gracie&Dana(Stranger) Date OR Future Vincent/Dana: I have tossed the idea around to expand on Never Let You Go Again a little and have the three of them doing stuff together one day. I also had the idea of distant future Vincent after Gracie's passed away and how he and Dana start to hook up {Vampire/Mermaid couple anyone??] but idkkkk

#tag game #redacted asmr #redacted audio #*takes a drag* it's been years since I heard that name... (jk)#also #I HAVE A LOT OF WIP STUFF IK #some of these I...might not have a desire to write any longer.....#but I was fuckin' BUSY when I was more active in the fandom #these are all in no particular order btw #no idea if/when I'll get back to these #been really preoccupied with Smoky Bastard Man and his little feral houseplant <3 #honestly though #just being able to ramble about all these was really nice at least #so ty again for tagging me 💕

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dimiclaudeblaigan · 10 months

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Man. Feelin' emotional after beating FE7 again. It was interesting just having memorized every line from when I was a kid. I definitely play a bit differently than I used to, but mainly that I'm trying to use units I didn't use as much before.

Some things never change though! Such as... Kent, Erk and Wil being my absolute MVPs before MVPs were a thing (thanks PoR!).

Even though this isn't in my top five FE games, I do think it had the most well written bittersweet ending of the bittersweet FE endings.

Eliwood best FE7 lord btw. Baby boy. I'm glad to be able to walk out of this playthrough loving him just like I used to!

#DCB FE7 Run #I'll still be posting my out of order screenies and stuff #I just tend to prefer to spread out my posts and sometimes I'm in a particular post mood #I hope lots of people get to play this game and experience the game that #was the first for maaaany longtime FE players #Most people in the fandom started with Awakening or later #but it would be nice for those people to experience the game that got the oldies into the franchise when it was totally unknown in the west #Xoxo Kent I still love you and you're still my original FE blorbo #Erk seems to feel like a longtime blorbo too tho! Like he was my boy back in the day #Kent was my mans back in the day. Some things indeed never change!

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fazcinatingblog · 9 months

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hi this is a rant please keep scrolling :)))))

list of things me, dumbass admin struggling through second CPA subject, explains to new guy at work who has a CPA:

telling him that bank charges are always debit because they're an expense

and that rent received should be credit because income

when we're the last two in the office and it's 5pm, telling him to finish up because i want to lock up and get out of here (stupid newbies thinking they should work overtime to "get ahead" lmao not a thing, kiddo, go home) (he's actually two months older than me but shhhh)

drafting tax returns

explaining the accounting when client buys an investment property (I would assume he knew this part but he saw me typing up the returns and he asked about it, so i woman-explained it)

teaching him to do adjusting journal entries for the rental income of a trust

going through reversal entries for accrued expenses (he did eventually correct me and discover the correct invoice to be picked up which was conveniently paid in the year we're doing)

things i want to explain to him:

when the water in the urn gets low, he can use the jug next to it to fill it up (pretty sure it's him using the urn water because he drinks tea, i'm onto him and at the end of the day, i keep finding the urn with dangerously low water level KETTLES AND URNS SHOULD NOT BE EMPTY OF WATER ESP IF THE URN IS TURNED ON)

that he can take lunch at any time

not to go crying to the bookkeeper for help because he doesn't want to bother me while i eat lunch at 1:15pm

#work stuff #it's over for my boss when my self esteem gets to normal levels and i discover my true worth #i could work as an assistant accountant i could get paid much higher at another place to do exactly what i do in my current job #I COULD #if i had self esteem #i mean my boss would be fine without me i know everyone is replaceable I KNOW THAT but ugh i just #it's just #i feel i have a lot of knowledge about the clients' little quirks just the little things and how things run in this particular office #and the file order godddd i know exactly how to keep things running smoothly and neatly #but none of that really matters #it's all just little things #like trent bianco at collingwood #no one notices everything trent does #all the knowledge and wisdom he has about the game plan and way things work #he'll just be dismissed and sent to the suns with his friends matt and noah #because he's not a KEY player

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teruthecreator · 11 months

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god help you all when i'm finished with a picture's worth >:-)))))))))

#ignorance cloud on #the content i have planed is ohohoho......very very inch resting #in no particular order i have:#esper boys do weed fic (silly little oneshot)#toichiro character study (probably a stupidly long oneshot that will take me months to finish)#very special au that i will not discuss rn bc hehehe...i am evil #but that will either be a chapfic or a series of oneshots. probably chapfic #i might open requests or somethin once a lot of this stuff is in the works i like getting ideas from the audience #kinda tempted to do somethin w serirei just to show u clowns how to write it. staring pointedly at a certain fic thats very popular rn....#anyways. maybe ill write chapter 6 tomorrow. or start it. idk #been so fucking depressed lately i dont have a lot of motivation to do anything other than breathe and sleep #but ill try! lord help me i will try #maybe if i start tomorro wduring my day off i can have it done by like friday

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 2 years

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✨

#some Things #in no particular order and of no particular importance #but posted here to get them out of my head so that I can focus on other stuff (and so that I have a record of them for later):#1) I spent an hour this morning taking various ASD/autistic traits tests and consistently scored just above the threshold on all of them #this doesn't really tell me anything new #except that I'm probably not faking it or just trying to make myself feel 'special' whenever I feel like I'm not myself #and have to put a lot of effort into Being Normal in public settings #almost all of the tests had a strong emphasis on masking and social competency skills and that's where I was scoring highest #I suspect that this only further confirms my suspicions that I am neurodivergent (prob ADHD) and due to my educational style #and the setting and circumstances of most of my childhood development years #did not realize that I was Odd until very recently #2) I just discovered that the lead pastor of the church attended by a theologian/apologist/bible teacher who I really respect #and enjoy learning from #got his first degree from the uni I want to attend #this also means nothing. but it was a fun discovery.#I have heard that the school has changed a good bit since the time he would've graduated #in ways that I'm not sure I can judge as fully Good or Bad.#but it's encouraging to know that it has a history and a name out there that's mostly a good one #...I feel like there is at least one more Thing I am forgetting to mention but I cannot remember it at the mo so I will return and add it #if I do happen to remember it later on #personal

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slytherindisaster · 2 years

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I wanted to finish the song asks today to just chill but I am so anxious about my shift tomorrow that I can't focus on anything rn 🙃

#like i am glad i finally got a job #and it's not rocket science just your typical bar with lots of old people buying the same dinner everyday #but i have to work at cash register and remember their orders and help in the kitchen if there’s not a lot of people #and I'm also responsible for making fresh juice pouring soup and cleaning tables #and again it's not anything unusual in a job like this #but i am bad with money i literally can't count so i make stupid mistakes #i don't fully understand how this particular cash register works yet #and i already make so many stupid mistaked on my trial day #i don't remember all the codes for meals yet so it's taking me forever to charge them and then i also have to count the change myself #and i am so fucking slow #and these ppl are so inpatient and also regulars so they are mad that i don't know what they're going to order #and i am terrible at multitasking and i can't properly focus there because everyone want something from me #and like the boss and the other staff are nice and helpful #but like you can only say 'I'm new' so many times before you're not new and should know stuff #and I'm just so afraid that I'll mess stuff up #like everytime a customer enters i am terrified #and fuck i am ranting #didn’t mean to but i couldn't relax for the whole weekend because i was worrying about going to work on monday #and i really needed a job so i couldn't say no #ughhhhhhh #personal #rambles #vent #sorry for this tag rant

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pepprs · 2 years

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ok mutuals. i am waiting for my first layer of paint to dry (it looks like shit rn lol but if this turns out good i might post it) and im still debating whether or not to say anything now that ive written the letter. like to say that this sucks. there’s that post i just rbed that’s like don’t hold back bc you think it’s cringe but then i saw another post tonight abt a Very specific situation that is not fair for me to be thinking abt in this way but the jist of it (removing the context) was that u shouldn’t burden ppl w ur grief when they make necessary decisions that make them happy. so it’s like ok. and again this is me taking that latter post completely and inappropriately out of context but realy shouldnt / doesn’t ir apply to all situations where someone is making a choice for their own happiness that takes their idealized version of you away from them. grief and everything that comes with it is burdensome and makes the other person feel guilty when ultimately it isn’t even about you. and i know bc ive been on the other side of this situation so many times and have been angry and frustrated when (specific) ppl grieve me for not being who they needed me to be. but this is my first time EVER being on the other side actually in a way that is actually real and not just in my head or metaphorical lol. i fear it literally all the time ofc but this is the first time in my life where someone is leaving me (and CHOOSING to) and not when im leaving either by choice or by like… by virtue of having to progress into a new school or mandatory study abroad or whatever. and it fucking sucks so bad.and if it was me doing this i would want her to talk to me abt how hurt / angry / sad she was and *i* would be hurt / angry / sad if she felt like she needed to hold back but… she is wired differently and needs different things and i truly think me telling her that this is dealing me psychological damage i will carry with me for the rest of my life is only going to be unhelpful and make her angry and uncomfortable. lol

#if i had a relationship w her where we talked abt feelings (like everyone else on our staff team but me 😍) then it would be ok. but in order #to tell her this i would have to be making like a huge leap of saying yeah no we haven’t talked like this before and im forcing us to. and I #uhhhh do not think she would react well to that. i would do it if it was anyone but her but i am terrified of burdening her with me. which I #have proof of btw like she just.. idk. i mean it’s not proof. but every time i have talked abt emotional stuff when she’s been present she h #has like… idk. checked out. visibly and tangibly. i can’t go into a lot of detail abt it LOLLLL but this is a pattern. and then i hear abt h #how she ***** ** *** ***** and like…. i sound kinda jealous talking abt it BECAUSE I AM! i do not see that version of her at all. and that #is literally all i want if i talk to her abt it. to just say like.. hi. we have not talked like this before but you are about to leave and #it has destroyed everything including me. this is hurting me for particular reasons some of which may shock you. i need you to know that. an #and i want us to start telling us things and being close even though you’re literally leaving and won’t be an everyday figure in my life #anymore like you have been for the last 4.5 years lol bye 😍😍😍😍😍😍 like that’s all i want. is just to establish the closeness and make plans t #to maintain it. idk. it’s like cringe and creepy. and i KNOW also that if we talk and i try to tell her how i feel i will do that thing wher #where i cry so hard i can’t even speak through it which im almost certain i will do in front of her tomorrowanyway LOLLLL so. but yeah i #don’t think she is gonna be very comfortable with that and i can’t make her u comfortable or burden her bc she needs to do this for her and #i want her to be happy even if it’s not here. but it hurts soo fucking bad like do you realize how important you are to me and how i was #looking forward to this so much and you fucking pulled out the rug from under us and i don’t know how to be without you. lollllll. CRINGE #purrs #delete later #ok my paint is almost dry lol! win #but also there’s like. ok i will shut upi promise. bit there’s also like… am i thinking this thru clearly / rationally or am i projecting #and assuming things and like… fumbling my way thru this situation for the first time bc ive never been in it before and don’t know what to #do or what’s helpful and what’s not. i know i am depriving myself of love and comfort and things that would make this easier to cope with b #but is that the right thing to do or is it stupid and foolish. i don’t think there’s a right / good / painless way thru this. lol #<- freak <- irredeemable <- embarrassingly immature and naïve given requirements of current job let alone life experiences to this point

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an-aura-about-you · 1 year

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(little ask thing circulating) List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. learn to know your mutuals and followers.<3

ooo thank you! <3

5 things that make me happy! That's a lot of narrowing down, but I think I can pick the cream of the crop.

My friends! <3

My cat Schroedinger, who has been especially snuggly with me lately.

My new home! I moved into a nice little condo, which means I have WAY less stuff to take care of (read: I don't have to take care of my own yard!) AND I live next to some cows and a donkey!

When the book I want is available as an audiobook on Libby. Hell yeah audiobooks from my library!

The almond croissants from my favorite sourdough bakery. Honestly, I could put just about anything from that bakery on here, but I want one of their almond croissants in particular. Sourdough croissants and danishes are just next level good.

#honorable mentions in no particular order:#coffee from the local coffee shop especially their white chocolate cold brew with raspberry cold foam #when I get comments on my fanfics #anteaters #classical music #when I solve a problem at work #when I guess correctly on the weekly Piano Puzzler #Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of the War of the Worlds (as well as concept albums in general)#when my hair dye turns out better than I expected #Indian food especially butter chicken with some nice garlic or rosemary naan #Detroit style pizza #my tattoos #I've just got a lot of stuff to be happy about!

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smoft-demons · 25 days

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MC needs some extra love

_______

You’re having an off day. Your demons have asked to make sure nothing’s actually wrong, just to be safe, but they’ve seen you like this a few times before. They understand. You’re just feeling down for no particular reason. Just sad and low energy. Extra tired.

Nothing happened, no one hurt you, nothing’s wrong… you just woke up in a low mood. Because it simply be like that sometimes. You just… need some extra affection today. No reason. It’s okay, they’re not judging. They’ll do what they can to cheer you up a little—they love you, you know. They want to see you smile at least once today.

_______

Lucifer:

When Lucifer notices your mood, he softens towards you a lot. He asks if anything is wrong first of course—they all do—but once he learns that there’s nothing he needs to correct and no one he needs to punish on your behalf, he just softens. He treats you more gently than usual.

He expects you’ll get fed up entertaining all his brothers, with their endless chaotic energy. So he invites you to hide out with him in his office. You are invited to just sit with him and read, or put on some music, or play a game on your DDD, or just rest… or whatever it is that will help.

He’ll even let you curl up in his lap and cuddle with him if that’s what you want. That cheers him up too.

He quietly redistributes the most taxing of your chores for today amongst the seven of them, to give you time to recharge.

You’ll find Levi and Beel doing the dishes for you when it’s your turn, or if you’re supposed to make dinner you’ll find that Mammon and Asmo have already ordered everyone takeout, and they’re already in the middle of setting it all out on the table. You won’t have to do a thing! If you were supposed to clean up a common space in the house, it’ll already be done by some of your assorted pact partners. You might even find sticky notes placed amongst your homework in Lucifer’s, Satan’s, and Belphie’s handwriting, suggesting edits and books titles to check for better information, and pointing out any parts in your work that are particularly well done.

When you check your DDD later, you see that Lucifer had instructed his brothers to take on what they can from you to make your life easier today. He was not planning on letting you know that, clearly—because he sent that in the brothers group chat. You only know because Karasu’s spy feature showed you.

His support is shown in all these soft, quiet details. Peaceful moments. Simple, but unmistakable reminders of how loved you are. It’s okay if you don’t smile today, even though he would like you too. He will verbally remind you that loves you anyway.

_______

Mammon:

Mammon’s first instinct, of course, is retail therapy. He offers to take you shopping. He’ll even pay for your stuff! He doesn’t mind if it makes you happy!

You appreciate that very much—and maybe you’d be happy to take him up on that if you were sad for a reason, but… you just have no spare energy. Just thinking about going out exhausts you more. You’d have to deal with looking at things! And forming opinions, and deciding on stuff to buy! There’s crowds and cashiers and bright lights and just… stuff outside! You can’t, you just can’t. You have no energy and you can’t.

The first time Mammon sees you like this, he’s confused. You don’t wanna go out? You don’t want any new stuff?? He sure hasn’t felt like that before!

He puts effort into figuring out what will actually help cheer you up instead. He’s considerate that way.

He tries taking you for a long drive. He tries taking tasks off your to-do list. He tries trailing after you all day to keep you company, holding your hand, chattering all day so you can’t hear your thoughts, staying quiet so you don’t get overstimulated. He cycles through every possible approach over the months, on every random day you happen to wake up like this.

It’s all greatly appreciated—and hey, some of his ideas work better than the rest! You feel loved and cared for regardless. It’s impossible to miss how much he adores you.

Eventually though, he strikes gold!

That particular day, he had been telling you a stupid joke every time he ran into you, in an attempt to make you smile. He gets a weak grin for his troubles just about halfway through the day. He beams at you triumphantly at that, impulsively scooping you up for a hug and repeatedly kissing the top of your head, and—aha! THERE’S the smile he was looking for!

From that point on, he knows what to do!

The next time you wake up in this mood, he takes the first opportunity to give you a playfully over the top show of affection. Over the course of the day, he keeps doing it!

He runs into you in the hallway between classes, he (gently) aggressively ruffles your hair as he passes you. He finds you aimlessly walking through the house, you immediately get snatched into his arms for a nice long squeeze. You sit with him as he’s scrolling through devilgram, he sets it aside for a moment to squish your cheeks between his hands and cover your forehead and nose with loud, playful kisses. You go up to him and request attention? You get kiss attacked, and he won’t let up until you crack a smile!

Your brain hurts, he says, echoing your very first explanation. It’s okay though, he says. He’ll kiss it better, he says.

He is MORE than happy to completely discard the tsundere façade to lean into this… over-the-top affectionate silliness, as long as it continues to make you laugh and smile like that.

He won’t admit it, but… this is more honest. This is much closer to who he is at heart than his usual behaviour is. Try as he might, he can’t hide how much he cares to save his life.

The realest aspect of Mammon is not the dumbass, not the money-grubber, not the uncaring cool guy that he pretends to be… no, it’s the goofy dork who loves you SO much that he’d go to any amount of effort to cheer you up.

He’s damn good at it too! HE was put in charge of your well-being for a reason! He’s the best big brother/guardian/friend/pact partner ever, and you’re his to take care of. He’s not letting HIS human go without smiling once for a whole day! You’re the sole member of his family he can openly dote on, and dammit, he will!

_______

Levi:

Levi’s go-to is, of course, distracting you with media. He tries games first, but if you’re too low-energy for that, he gets it. He tries anime, movies, shows, videos, manga, whatever you seem to respond best to.

You’ll notice a theme of letting others help, confiding in friends, opening up to people. There are repeated instances of characters asking for support from the rest of the cast and then being helped and taken care of. Lots of power of friendship stories, lots of hurt/comfort and “it’s rotten work” “not to me, not if it’s you” and team-as-family.

Maybe, just maaaybe, he’s trying to tell you something!

He relaxes when you explain that you just woke up like this, sometimes this just happens and it’s no one’s fault, there’s no problem, he doesn’t have to worry about you. He gets that! Sometimes he wakes up like that too. It does happen!

But… you’re his player two! He wants to worry about you!

So he takes care of you the way he wishes someone would take care of him when he gets like that. Gives you the extra love he knows first-hand that you need right now. He lets you choose the entertainment, he holds your hand, and mirrors what you do to self-soothe.

If you wanna lie on the floor and stare at his jellyfish decorations, he’s right next to you. If you wanna tell Henry how you’re feeling, he’s right there with you doing the same so you don’t have to feel self-conscious. If you’re stimming, he will too. That one makes him happy as well! If you wanna burrow into a pile of blankets and plushies like a hognose snake, he totally gets it and will also do that. He does that anyway sometimes, just because it’s comfy.

There’s not a hint of judgement from Levi. Ever. He gets it.

When you guys HAVE to leave his room, like for meals and such, he lends you his headphones. So you don’t get overstimulated from all the noise his brothers make. He never goes far from you, either. He always stays close enough that you can reach for him if you want to.

After dinner, when you’re tired and done with trying to act normal (not that even one of your demons is fooled), Levi brings you back to his room. He asks if you have any requests, anything you want to do, anything he can do to help you. If you know what you need, he’ll just do it. If you don’t, he’ll offer comfort in some form that makes sense to him. He understands that all you really need is some extra love when you’re like this, so he’s not at a loss. He gets it, he feels the same way sometimes, he can do that!

You end up curled up in his lap, hiding your face in his shoulder as he watches an anime you’ve both seen before at a low volume. Familiar and comforting. He’s happy to just sit and chill with you until you feel like you’ve recharged enough. He knows you’d do the same for him.

_______

Satan:

Satan’s instinct, once he learns what’s going on, is to bring you to the quiet spot outside where the stray cats he has befriended gather and then plonk the chillest one in your lap.

Cats are perfect fluffy little warm purring bundles of free therapy, after all. How could you not be recharged by this?

He’s not wrong, the cat definitely helps. It is in fact a perfect creature.

But… well, you don’t bother to spend the energy on saying so, but being outside isn’t really helping. You cringe at every loud noise. The wind ruffling your clothes every so often is annoying you. You’re sitting on concrete and it’s making you cold. The streetlights feel particularly aggressive to your eyes today. Very stabby. There are smells outside! No one wants that!

You love the cats, but Satan is giving them all his attention and you’re getting just a little bit jealous. You as well are giving the cat in your lap all your attention, and—as stupid as you feel about it—you’re getting a little bit jealous about that too. You want attention too! All the cat has to do is be cute and soft and it can have all the petting and cuddling it wants! As it deserves, yes, but… don’t you as well, though..?

You try to push that feeling away and just pet the cat. The cat did nothing wrong, you still love it, you’re supposed to be feeling MORE recharged from this! Not… whatever it is you do feel. At the end of the day you still enjoy petting the cat and you don’t want it to leave. That’s still true and that’s what matters, you tell yourself.

Eventually the cat decides it’s had enough petting for now, and gets up. Satan checks on you, fully expecting you to be thoroughly cheered up! Instead he sees you staring forlornly at your hands, mostly zoned out. Confused, he asks if you’re okay.

You nod once, giving him a hollow smile.

Now he’s concerned. He takes a minute to finish petting the cats surrounding him—noting the hint of jealousy in your eyes as you observe him—then comes to sit on the concrete stair next to you.

He gently points out that he knows you well enough to detect a lie. Especially an unconvincing lie like that. You give a noncommittal hum in reply. That’s all you have the energy for.

He wraps an arm around your shoulders, letting you slump against his side. Your head leans against his shoulder. His other arm comes up to stroke your head for a moment, then drops down again to take your hand.

In a small, tired voice, you thank him. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze in reply.

Eventually he adjusts you so he can hold you more comfortably. Every so often he kisses the top of your head, or rubs your shoulder, or squeezes your hand, or says something quietly to you. Pointing out a interesting leaf shape, telling you something inconsequential about his day, prompting you to look when one of the cats does something cute, reminding you that he loves you and it’s okay to feel like this. That he enjoys your company no matter what mood you’re in.

This helps a lot more. Eventually you have enough energy to reply to him in full sentences! He’s visibly relieved at that. Still, he continues to hold you.

It’s after this point that a different cat comes up to you. It sniffs your shoelace then rubs itself against your leg. It flops over your shoe, stretching adorably with its little paws reaching up. It looks up at you all wide-eyed and cute, and finally you give a short puff of a laugh. Satan feels it more than hears it, but still!! He feels successful!

You pet this cat as it stands up and sniffs at your free hand. You look at it with a little smile. There’s a bit more soul in this smile, to Satan’s relief.

Later, as the two of you are leaving, he slips the cat a treat and whispers a thank you to it. Then he takes your hand again and leads you back home.

(He makes a mental note to himself for next time: pet the sad human first!! Then go see the cats!)

_______

Asmo:

Asmo notices that you’re having one of those days today, and he rushes to spoil you. Like Mammon, his first instinct is to take you shopping—but specifically for clothes and makeup and skincare products. Stuff that would cheer him up.

But you’re tired, and he understands that. It’s okay, he still knows what to do!

Asmo brings you into his room. You curl up in a sad, tired lump on his bed. He lets you chill there while he gathers up the stuff he wants.

He returns to you with his arms full of stuff! Nail polish, face masks, a hairbrush, moisturizer and hair oil, etc etc. Stuff for taking care of you.

He makes a point of only doing stuff that doesn’t sting at all. No plucking eyebrows or messing with your cuticles or anything like that. Just the stuff that feels nice.

Asmo quietly chatters about people he knows and stuff he’s used and whatever the latest gossip he’s heard is. Not even really to inform you this time, because he knows you’re probably not gonna remember much when you’re like this, but more to provide you with a constant, grounding backdrop of his familiar voice.

He speaks softly to you as he wipes your face with cleanser and then proceeds with his skincare process. He gently brushes your hair, spending twice as long as necessary just because it feels nice. He insists you don’t bother to move as he sits next to you and paints your nails.

At some point he runs out of stuff to do, so he ends up just brushing over your face with a clean makeup brush. No product on it at all, he’s just doing it to make you relax, because it’s soft and it feels nice. It’s meditative, honestly. For both of you.

He spends a good long while doing that.

He finishes up and lies down next to you. He pulls you into a cuddle. You offer to return the favour for him. Do his skincare and hair and nails and stuff for him, spoil him back—because he deserves the best.

For the first time ever, he declines. He shushes you and holds you tighter. This is the only situation in which he would ever refuse that!

He says you’re more than welcome to return the favour tomorrow if you like, but for now he just wants you to rest. He did all that for you to get you in this relaxed state you’re in right now, don’t get up and un-relax yourself so fast! Keep your brain turned off! It’s good for you sometimes!

… yes, Asmo is surprised by his own selflessness too—more surprised than you are by now, knowing him. He’s always been selfless for your sake since you first became his friend. It still surprises him though.

_______

Beel:

Beel is your best guy for validation. For quiet, thoughtful, unwavering support. He’s a lot more insightful than he’s often given credit for. He’s one of the best people in this family in terms of emotional intelligence, no question about it.

He knows just what to do. He observes you as the day goes on, taking the first opportunity to pull you aside and check on you without any others around. Just to make absolutely sure there’s nothing else going on.

His voice is soft, his hands are gentle, and he puts effort into understanding you. You’re family, he loves you so much! So of course he would.

He’ll share his food with you of course—both because he wants you to know that he loves you that much, and because he’s trying to remove a task from your to-do list. You don’t have to think about getting food and preparing it and any of that if he just. Does it for you. You can spend your very limited energy elsewhere.

He’ll take you with him on his routine walk, just so you can have a change of scenery and an opportunity to chat uninterrupted.

He listens to you complain about being outside with his characteristic placid sympathy—a combination that would be a bit contradictory if it came from anyone else, but somehow makes perfect sense for Beel. It’s soothing. Reassuring, somehow. He helps a lot, just by being himself.

When you inevitably run out of energy—much quicker than you usually do, but you expected that—he offers to carry you. Or rather, he automatically goes to do it on muscle memory, because that’s just what he does with tired loved ones (Belphie usually). He catches himself and realizes he should ask first in this case. Just to make sure. He’s considerate like that.

You are very tired… and you want contact. So of course you accept the offer. How could you refuse when he offers so earnestly?

He walks in measured, consistent steps as he carries you. The sway of his movement is deliberately relaxing. He’s trying to lull you into a meditative haze, or maybe put you to sleep. Either is good, he thinks.

The warmth of him makes the… everything about being outside when you’re feeling this way a lot more tolerable. The sounds of his footsteps, his breaths, his heartbeat… all of that drowns out the background noise just enough. Your face is pressed into his jacket, so the streetlights don’t stab your eyes and all the distressingly inconsistent outside smells are entirely covered by the spices-aromatics-soap scent of Beel. It’s a smell you know very well, and the familiarity of it is grounding.

Everything about him is grounding, really. He really did know exactly what to do.

At the end of the day… it’s okay if you don’t smile. He would like you to, of course, but he will meet you where you’re at. Anyway, it’s more important to him that you feel like it’s safe to show however it is you actually feel around him. He understands the amount of trust that takes, and he’s honoured by it. Nothing is more important to him than that trust.

So, you don’t have to smile. It’s okay.

Don’t be strong, he tells you. There’s no need, for now. Just let him. Rest, lean on his strength—he’s got more than enough for both of you. He’s got you. He’s not going anywhere.

_______

Belphie:

Oh, you’re tired? A bit sad, a bit grouchy? Damn. Looks like even HE has more energy than you today. That’s not something he sees often! Well, that’s fine. He knows what to do.

It’s straight to baby jail with you!

In his arms, that is. In bed, surrounded by his best pillows, covered by the least warm heavy blanket he has, so you won’t overheat but will still feel nice and covered.

He positions you so you’re facing each other, with your head tucked under his chin. So you have room to comfortably breathe and talk, but your face is still as covered as possible so you won’t be bothered by any lights.

Emotional intelligence may not be Belphie’s strong suit, but he is observant and he understands exhaustion. This may not exactly be the usual kind of exhaustion, but still! There’s no demon better equipped to understand what’s going on with you right now, just by nature.

He’s totally fine with cuddling you in silence if you don’t feel like talking. That really works for him, actually, because it allows him to nap.

Not that he doesn’t WANT to listen to you. He does. He’d be happy to. But he gets it if you don’t wanna bother with that. It’s okay.

He will, however, delay taking a nap until you doze off first. He just wants to make sure you’re okay. He’s not about to just fall asleep and abandon you if you still need attention.

If you’re not falling asleep very fast, he will help. Not with magic, surprisingly. He’s being more… gentle, he supposes, than that in this situation.

He talks quietly about nothing important. The soft drone of his voice, kept consistent and deliberately soporific, melts into your brain like butter, slowing it way down. Blocking everything else out. Gradually turning it off. One hand rubs your back slowly, almost as if to match the rhythm of his voice.

It’s so relaxing. You feel like you could stay like this forever and never want to move, you’re that comfortable.

Belphie knows what he’s doing.

It works really well! He makes sure you feel loved and cared for, then makes sure you get some extra rest. Mental and physical recharging.

Of course, you wake up feeling a lot better. Maybe not entirely back to your normal self yet, but definitely better. How could you not?

You’re a lot less tired after you’ve slept, and less sad too… so he’s succeeded—but you’re still not smiling!

He can fix that, right?

He lets you get up and stretch first, of course. He does the same. Before you leave the room though, he wraps you up in another hug.

He pulls back to examine your face after a minute or two.

Hmm… you look comfy, but still no smile! He can’t have that! So he hugs you tightly again, but this time his fingers start to lightly poke and brush over your sides. He’s trying to force you to smile by tickling you. He’s not gonna do too much, he’s not trying to overwhelm you. He stops as soon as you crack a smile.

There we go, he says as he gives you one last gentle squeeze. That was all he wanted, he tells you.

He doesn’t let go of you for long, over the rest of the day. Always holding your hand, giving you random hugs, draping himself over your shoulders—but without making you take all his weight for once, because he knows you’re still kinda tired. Enough of it to be soothing, but no more. Just so you don’t get lonely. He doesn’t want you to get all sad again.

If you do get sad again though, it’s okay. He will squish the sadness out of you all over again, as many times as you need. He doesn’t mind.

_______

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