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7ndipity · 8 months

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Roommates with Jin(College au)

Jin x Reader

Summary: Headcanon list and blurb about moving in/being roommates with Jin

Warnings: not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! I started it as a drabble, but couldn’t decide on a single idea, so I made it a hc list instead, I hope that's alright. Also, big thanks to everyone for your patience as I slowly catch up on requests.

Masterlist

Requests are open

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Moving in together was technically his idea, after your roommate announced they were transferring and you were stressing about finding a new one

“What if I just move in?” He’d all but blurted one evening over dinner, leaving you to nearly choke on your drink before gaping at him.

You’d only been dating for about six months, so you definitely had some concerns about moving too fast, but you couldn’t deny that the idea was a lot more appealing than living with a potential stranger, so ultimately you agreed.

He was so happy when you said yes, practically skipping to buy packing supplies.

The two of you fell into habit with each other surprisingly fast, balancing out tasks and chores almost without thought.

He makes sure you wake up on time in the morning, you make his coffee. He takes the trash out, you do the vacuuming. Etc…

You’re friends joke that you’ve become the parents of the group, bc there’s always someone sleeping over on your couch or staying for dinner(and by someone, I mean usually Jungkook)

Which reminds me, he’s a really good cook(he jokes that he almost went to culinary school instead of majoring in film) He was lowkey horrified by the amount of instant ramen and takeout you’d been surviving on previously, so your diet definitely improved when he moved in.

Half of your conversations are yelled because you’re on opposite ends of the appartment and refuse to walk through the house to find each other.(yeah, the neighbors kinda hate you, but it’s just Joon and Yoongi, so it’s nbd)

Late night cram sessions, where one or both of you are almost falling asleep on the other’s shoulder, but you won’t just go on to bed because you’re trying to be supportive.

Movie nights that he claims count as studying for him(even tho you’re like 99% sure his professor didn’t assign Shrek 2 as viewing material)

Being able to find each other's things, but never your own.

Going all out for holiday decorations, but you have to agree on them before purchsing bc one time you bought one of those motion activated figures for Halloween without telling him and he almost had a heart attack and punched it in the face.

Groaning as you set down the last box, you staggered over to where Jin sat unpacking another box before sliding down to sit next to him on the floor with a soft thud.

“Is that the last of it?” He asked.

“Yep, everythings here.” You slumped against his shoulder, “Ugh, I’m so tired. I think I went up and down those stairs two hundred times.”

“Hey, look.” Jin nudged you as he looked around at the disorganized mix of furniture and boxes scattered throughout the space.

“What?”

“We did it. We’re in our apartment.” He said, grinning at you proudly.

“Yeah, we are.” You agreed, returning his smile.

”This is our living room. That’s our bedroom, our bathroom.” He pointed as he spoke.

“We have a kitchen too.” You noted.

“You wanna cook dinner together in our kitchen?” He asked, raising a brow at you.

“Maybe tomorrow, I’m too tired now.” You sighed, falling back on the floor dramatically. “Can we just go to bed?”

“Fine by me.” He chuckled, getting to his feet and turning to face you. Rather than helping you up, however, he simply grabbed hold of your ankles and began pulling you across the floor.

“What are you doing?!” You squealed.

“Taking you to bed.” He said. “I can’t carry you right now, my back hurts.”

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madnessformunson · 1 year

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she’s all i wanna be

Summary: you are insecure in your relationship with Eddie

Warnings: reader has a negative body image, mean girl behavior, bullying

I have no idea why the formatting is so weird lol

Your relationship with Eddie was new. It was fun and exciting but also scary. You had never had feelings like this for anyone before. He always made time for you, recently skipping D&D or cutting band practice short so he could squeeze in more time to spend with you. Because Eddie’s world was newly revolving around your every move, his friends were getting annoyed with you and your constant presence.

You walk into the cafeteria and sit at your usual spot at the Hellfire table. You didn’t know if you should without Eddie, but he had to meet with Miss Click about his last test grade. He assured you that the boys would love to have you sit with them.

You quietly sit and greet them with a weak smile and wave.

“Oh hey y/n, where is Eddie? Gareth questioned.

“He had to meet with Miss Click to go over his last exam, hope you don’t mind me sitting here” you said as you unpacked the contents of your lunchbox.

“And you aren’t waiting outside the classroom for him to be done” Jeff let out with a weak laugh.

Your face flushed because you had actually thought of doing that.

“I don’t get how he isn’t completely tired of you always hanging around him and pulling him away from what he loves. It’s so confusing since just a few months ago he couldn’t shut up about his crush on Chrissy, and now he’s with you instead” Mike said cruelly.

Your face was still red hot and you were fighting back the tears in your eyes.

“I guess he just settled for the off brand Chrissy” Jeff said with a laugh, as the rest of the boys chucked with him.

You quickly stood up and grabbed your belongings not able to listen anymore.

“Hey, we were just joking with you!” Mike called out and you ran out.

You left the school down an old trail you and Eddie frequently took when you just needed to get away. You headed to the rusted bench to take a minute to yourself when you heard Eddie’s laugh. You peer through the bushes only to see Eddie dramatically falling onto the ground in front of the one and only Chrissy Cunningham.

She was definitely flirting with him, twisting her perfect blonde hair as she asked him about Corroded Coffin. You saw enough, taking off to head in the direction of your house.

On your way home you couldn’t help but think negatively of yourself. She was definitely prettier than you. She had a smaller waist, long blonde hair and came from money. You didn’t have anything like that to offer, you’d probably choose her too.

As you walked past the drug store, you had a moment of thinking “maybe I can look like her” as you wondered in looking for some hair dye. You decided on a box of bleach, thinking that adding some highlights could maybe help your look.

As soon as you got home you rushed to the bathroom and locked the door behind you. You pull out the instructions and read them over 3 times to ensure you know what you are doing. You decided you were ready, you started to mix the chemicals that smelt so strong you were sure you’d get high from the fumes. As neatly as you could you applied the paste to your hair and let it be for 45 minutes. You rinse the chemical off, throwing your hair up in a towel on your head as you wipe the fog off the mirror.

Then you were horrified. Once you pulled the towel off all you could feel was instant regret. Your roots were white blonde while other pieces were bright orange and another section still your original color. You were panicking trying to figure out your next move when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

“Hey y/n dad said dinner is ready” your little sister, El informed you.

You muttered some profanities before saying, “tell him I’m not hungry!”

You suddenly hear heavy footsteps approaching the bathroom door.

“None of that y/n, come on we are eating dinner” Hopper insisted.

“Sorry I can’t” you blurt out.

“Excuse me? You can’t? Open this door right now y/n”

You knew you couldn’t win. You slowly opened the door to reveal the mess you were currently dealing with.

“What the hell y/n” Hopper said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I know it looks really bad -“ you start

“Really bad is an understatement” El cuts you off with a giggle. You give her a death stare and she runs down the hallway.

“I can call Joyce tomorrow to see if she can come help you fix it after school,” Hopper said, rubbing his face with his hand.

“After school?! Dad no way that’s too long”

“She’s at work y/n, you’ll just have to wear a hat or something” he says as he lets out a laugh.

You continue just to give him an annoyed glare.

The next morning you tuck all of your hair into a beanie, then place the hood of your sweatshirt over top to further disguise yourself.

As you make your way downstairs for school, your father sees you and chuckles.

“I don’t know why you think this is funny” you say as you pour your bowl of cereal.

“This is one of those moments I will never let you forget,” he replies.

You just have to get through today, stay low and avoid Eddie that all you have to do. Standing at your locker you grab the books you need as you notice Eddie approaching you with a smile and wave. You took off to your class taking your seat and opening your book up as quickly as possible to bury your head in.

“Hey y/n I tried to call you last night but you didn’t answer” Eddie said as he took his seat behind you, chains hitting onto the desk.

“I was busy” you reply coldly.

“Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?” He said leaning forward.

Thankfully the bell rang and Miss Click walked in already telling everyone to quiet down.

“Ok class today I want you to turn to page 110- yes Miss Cunningham?” Miss Click said as Chrissy raised her hand.

“I just was thinking I’m pretty sure it’s against the dress code to wear hats inside and I just don’t think it would be fair if certain people were an exception to the rules”

“Why yes that is a rule, Miss Hopper you need to remove your hood”

Your heart sunk and your face instantly got red. You sat there like a statue for a minute trying to decide what to do.

“Miss Hopper if you don’t remove the hood this instant I will have to send you to the principal's office to call you father.”

You slowly pull the hood back and stare at Miss Click.

“The beanie too dear” Miss Click said.

As you pull it off your head you can hear the whole room gasp followed by laughter.

“Oh my” is all Miss Click could get out before you grabbed your books and bolted out of the room. You faintly heard Eddie calling your name but you didn’t turn back, you headed straight home with tears running down your face.

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lurlur · 1 year

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Rating the NHL mascots - Part 2

Part 1 is here

Minnesota Wild

Nordy

What are you, Nordy? Officially, Nordy is a "wild animal" which is just SUPER helpful, Minnesota. Thanks. He's got a sweet face, though. I like the extra colouring that keeps him from being boring. I feel like he'd benefit from some sharp teeth though. Give the boy some ferocity. Assuming he's the kind of wild animal that can be ferocious? WHO FUCKIN' KNOWS???

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 9/10

Horror: 2/10

Fuckability: 6/10

Overall, 6/10. Could be better, but the inability to commit hurts Nordy's potential.

Buffalo Sabres

Sabretooth

I may not have much in this world, but one of the things that I do have is a degree in palaeontology. This goofy looking motherfucker is not an accurate sabretooth cat and I have decided to take that personally. This is a cartoon tiger with dental issues. This is Tony the Tiger's inbred cousin. He's not OK. At least he looks relatively kind, if a little concerned.

Vibes: 5/10

Aesthetics: 1/10

Horror: 1/10

Fuckability: 1/10

Overall, 2/10. Is it too much to ask for to have palaeontologically accurate mascots in 2023?

Nashville Predators

Gnash

Is this a joke? Am I a joke to you? ANOTHER sabre tooth cat? Jesus fucking christ. OK, this one isn't AS bad. It's not good, but it's not as bad as the last entry. Actual sabre teeth, a sculpted cat head, team colours can be forgiven for mascot purposes. The lower jaw is all wrong and the stripes are conjecture at best, but the overall effect doesn't fill me with the same blind rage as Buffalo's cat. Gnash is getting by on a loaded comparison. His name is pretty cool though.

Vibes: 6/10

Aesthetics: 4/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 3/10

Overall, 4.5/10. Literally skating through because Sabretooth is SO bad and SO fresh in my memory. Take the wins where you can, Gnash.

Florida Panthers

Stanley C. Panther

Florida somehow has two mascots? I'm going with Stanley, but please do be aware of, I assume, Matthew Tkachuk's best friend: Victor E. Rat.

Stanley, here, is a panther. Of course. And he's fine. Just fine. Another big cat, underwhelming design, pretty minimal costuming. He's got a reasonably characterful face. I feel like a good performer could make him work, but in still images he's lacklustre. Sorry, Stanley.

Vibes: 6/10

Aesthetics: 3/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 6/10

Overall, 4.5/10. Middling score for a middling mascot. Maybe I should have gone with Victor...

New York Islanders

Sparky the Dragon

Got myself tied in knots about this one because the Isles have made some attempts to move on from Sparky, it seems. There's an absolutely horrifying fisherman named Nyisles that I won't ever unsee. The NHL website says Sparky, though, so Sparky it is! He's a dragon! Look at his lil wings! Good teeth, bright colours, horns for holding. What's not to love? Literally nothing. Except the fact that he's mascot for the Isles... but that's not what we're doing here.

Vibes: 10/10

Aesthetics: 10/10

Horror: 4/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 8/10. He's a dragon! I love me a dragon! I don't care!

St Louis Blues

Louie

Louie, OK. Blue, OK. Wipe clean mouth? OK, I guess. Why a bear, though? And why such a pale blue? This thing must be a nightmare to keep clean. Good ear shape, kind face, not quite hitting the bear perfection that is Carlton but a decent effort. The muzzle really is throwing me as a weird design choice. Like, OK, it does make the face more visually interesting but it also just looks like Louie has a skin problem. Does he have mange? We simply don't know.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 7/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 5/10

Overall, 5.5/10. Mostly because I'm concerned about his health. I don't want to catch mange.

Detroit Red Wings

Al the Octopus

Oh yeah, now we're talking. I actively hate this for a million reasons but it's so fucking insane that I also kind of love it! I do wish that Detroit fans would stop throwing octopuses onto the ice because that is no fate for a poor cephalopod. But look! It's a giant tentale monster! He looks MEAN! That's not just a guy in a bad fur suit! it's interesting and that's worth big points. I fully believe that Al would beat the shit out of me for no reason.

Vibes: 10/10

Aesthetics: 9/10

Horror: 9/10

Fuckability: 10/10

Overall, 9.5/10. Horrible, never stop.

Philidelphia Flyers

Gritty

Now, this is podracing! Gritty is how you do weird, undefined monster mascots properly. Gritty emerged following construction work at the Philidephia arena and is best described as a force for chaos. The eyes are wild, the energy is all over the place, the flow is spectacular, and the best part of Gritty's launch was the speed with which Philidelphia went from rejecting their new freak to declaring Gritty the new godking. Oh, you think Gritty is an ugly monster? Fuck you, we love them. Gritty is also undeniably a queer ally/icon/community leader? Hard to say exactly, but it's there. Immaculate vibes. Shame we can't say the same about everyone on the team...

Vibes: 10/10

Aesthetics: 10/10

Horror: 10/10

Fuckability: 10/10

Overall, 10/10. Gritty, hit me up. I have a short list of Flyers I need you to eat. Thanks, babe.

Ottawa Senators

Spartacat

Someone please get this lion a good haircare routine? Dear god, Spartacat. You leave the house looking like this? There's something almost endearing about how wet and pathetic this lion looks. He's just giving nothing. I want to nominate him for Queer Eye.

Vibes: 6/10

Aesthetics: 4/10

Horror: 2/10

Fuckability: 4/10

Overall, 4/10. Honestly, it's a pity fuck as well. Someone please help this lion.

Montreal Canadiens

Youppi!

What IS it? A man? Why is it so hairy? It might be a giant (lol) but that doesn't explain much at all. I HATE this. I think that's a fully body beard. You could shave that and maybe find just a normal man underneath. It's SO orange which just looks jarring with the Montreal colours. Bad. I would turn around and walk the other direction if I saw this on the street.

Vibes: 2/10

Aesthetic: 1/10

Horror: 8/10

Fuckability: 0/10

Overall, a generous 3/10. Please never make me look at Youppi! again.

Vancouver Canucks

Fin the Whale

They anthropomorphised a whale. That feels like it should be a crime. Certainly the way they've gone about it is. Fin loses points for having his dorsal fin on the back of his head and not, y'know, his actual back. He also appears to have no tail which is a real shame. Tails are a great design choice in almost every situation. I do like the sharp teeth and red tongue, though. Very suggestive. This feels like a missed opportunity. Fin could have been a lot better but they took the easy path instead of the interesting one. Boo you, Canucks design team.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 4/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 6/10

Overall, 5.5/10. I really wanted to like this more. I'm going to think about Ethan Bear for a minute to cheer myself up.

San Jose Skarks

S J Sharkie

No points for originality on the name, but for literally everything I just said about Fin? Sharkie gets it right. His dorsal fin is in the right place, he has shark elements beyond his head with those little elbow fins. Clear evidence that it's possible to make a weird sea creature/man hybrid without being boring AF. The head is a weird shape, but I'm feeling too much goodwill towards Sharkie right now to really mind. Nice teeth, too. I would have loved to have seen rows of teeth, maybe with some missing for a real hockey feel.

Vibes: 8/10

Aesthetics: 8/10

Horror: 6/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7.5/10. A good score for a very smooth boy. Smooth in every direction.

Arizona Coyotes

Howler the Coyote

Hims feets too big for hims gotdamn shoes! I haven't ever actually seen a coyote before, so I had to go looking for a comparison. Conclusion? Why is his face so wide? I do like the very pointy nose, though. We've seen too many soft faced predators, this boy has a SNOUT. Got some lil teefies too, I like that. And a tail. I keep coming back to the feet busting out of the shoes though, like some teen wolf knock off. I kinda love it.

Vibes: 9/10

Aesthetics: 8/10

Horror: 4/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7/10. Very good showing for a pointy faced doggo who needs new shoes.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Stinger

Help. Serously, please help me. Look at this thing. It's a bug, meant to be a play on blue jackets/yellow jackets. But I don't know what a yellow jacket is so any cleverness is kind of lost on me. This is HORRIBLE. They really went all in on making this unpleasant and I can applaud that, even as I hate it viscerally. And I do. The eyes, the butt, the rictus grin, the colour... It is offensive to mine eyeballs. I love it. One note, they should have given it another set of limbs.

Vibes: 1/10

Aesthetics: 10/10

Horror: 8/10

Fuckability: 0/10

Overall, 5/10. Awful. I can't look away.

Honourable mention to Boomer, the other Blue Jackets mascot who is just an anthropomorphic cannon. Great moustache. I wonder if Johnny Gaudreau is afraid of it.

Anaheim Ducks

Wild Wing

I do not believe that Wild Wing's designer had ever seen a duck. I'm not sure that the person who described duck to the designer or Wild Wing had ever seen a duck either. I think the description of a duck may have passed through as many as 15 people who had never seen a duck before reaching Wild Wing's designer. Oh Holly, you're so harsh. It's a duck in a hockey mask. OK, so they hadn't seen a modern hockey mask either. I like the mean expression, somehow through a mask, the Donald Duck-esque nudity, and the feet design. Almost a horse-sized duck.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 6/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 4/10

Overall, 5.5/10. You're no good, duck. You'll never be shit. You're just like your father.

Chicago Bad Team

Tommy Hawk

That's a turkey.

Vibes: 0/10

Aesthetics: 0/10

Horror: 0/10

Fuckability: 0/10

0/10. Boo.

#nhl mascots #nhl #hockey #lurlur rates mascots #please be nice to me #this took so much work

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direwolfrules · 1 year

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Another Mando Time Travel AU (I Don't Know What This Is This Started As A Totally Different AU We Don't Even Get To The Time Travel Till The End)

Tarre Vizsla's relatively peaceful afterlife is rudely disrupted by one Jaster Mereel. Now every time the Ka'ra meets, Jaster's always talking about his son.

It only gets worse after Galidraan, and honestly, Tarre can sympathize. He too would curse up a storm if his entire movement was slaughtered and his son sold into slavery. He actually did perform some of the more colorful acts of vengeance that Jaster describes, all those years ago when he was crude matter, and the Sith had kidnapped his padawan. It was part of what had made him leave the Order, once the Sith had been defeated. The shame of those moments of raw, unadulterated violence, the whispers in the halls that perhaps he was simply too Mandalorian...they had followed him since he was a babe in the creche, but towards the end they had grown in number and volume.

Then one day, Jaster starts cursing Jango's name. It honestly shocks Tarre enough that he breaks his most important rule: not engaging in conversation with Mand'alor the Ridiculously Loud. He's curious, sue him.

(Inside his head Tarre cannot help but chuckle, because his master had often said his curiosity would be the death of him. Now that Tarre was dead, would it be the life of him? He doesn't know. All he knows is his friend Fay would have groaned at that poor excuse for a joke.)

Turns out Jaster's son, his precious boy, his poor, brutalized child, has decided to help in a Sith plot that would see the Jedi destroyed, all for the low price of millions of enslaved sentients.

Tarre – who avoided looking at the affairs of the living after his descendants sacked Coruscant and stole the Darksaber from the Temple where he left it, turning his tool for peacekeeping into a weapon of war and giving the anti-Mando factions in the Senate all the ammunition they needed to unleash the Dral'Han – tunes back in. He's horrified by what he sees.

He can't help but watch as the Clone Wars wages through the galaxy, as Manda'yaim is subjugated by the Empire, as Mando'ade are so brainwashed by the Sith (and oh how it burns, that the ancient enemy managed to slip through their fingers all those years ago) and their propaganda that they build the very weapons the Empire turns on their fellow verde. His brief moment of jubilation at seeing the Mandalorian rebellion nearly succeed is crushed by the Night of a Thousand Tears.

It's horrible, and made even worse by the realization that out there in the darkest edges of the galaxy, hidden away like the spider-roaches they are, the Sith survive. They had devastated his people, both his peoples, and they had survived with plans to do it all over again.

The Ka'ra meets more frequently now than anytime in Tarre's memory since the Dral'Han. Or the first Dral'Han, he supposes.

Things had gone so wrong, the Manda was full of souls who had lived too-short lives and the Force was constantly screaming in pain. Mandalore, Geonosis, Alderaan, Serenno, all were devastated by an ill-tempered madman high on the pain he caused and his army of sycophants. That much needless, senseless death leaves lasting scars on the fabric of the galaxy.

"If we could go back and fix it all..." It's Mandalore the Binder who says it. Harswee's greatest native son had been silent since the burning of his homeworld's fields. Where once there had been herds of wooly-nerfs and banthas grazing without care, now there was only blackened ash. To hear him speak now in that rumbling, gravely drawl of his...they cannot help but all pay attention.

It's a simple statement, one that most of their number had been thinking, but never said aloud. What was the use in longing for the impossible?

But then, Tarre thinks, is it really so impossible?

Tarre's curiosity would be the death of him, his old master used to declare, before indulging his inquisitive padawan's bad habits. Sometimes, such indulgences led to Tarre and his dearest friend exploring long abandoned Temples with little to no supervision. And in one of those Temples, there had been holocron upon holocron dedicated to the study of Time and it's relation to the Force.

It was Fay who put together the fragmented ramblings of half-mad acolytes, the accounts of failed rituals. It was Fay – who the Force loved so deeply even then – who figured out how such a ritual would work. And it was Tarre who she chose to share this information with.

It was heretical, a piece of the Force that tread dangerously close to the Dark. Tarre had shoved that knowledge, that terrible burden his dearest friend had inflicted upon him, deep into the recesses of his mind, never to be accessed again. Until now.

To fix it all, to send back the consciousnesses and/or bodies of a few chosen champions...it's tempting. It tempts Tarre almost as much as the Dark did during that one horrid year, when his master had been killed, his riduur assassinated, his people ripping themselves apart—

He brings it before the Council of Kings. It's the only way to be sure he's not being guided by his own selfish desires. The Mandalores of the past are a vast group, filled with individuals as varied as the stars for which they are named.

The vote is a close run thing. For all the Mandalores who ascended to the position through their love for their people, there are just as many who rose to power through force of arms or hatred of the Jedi. Many of the latter view Tarre's very presence as an insult, as do some of the former.

Surprisingly, it's Mandalore the Indomitable who breaks the tie. The former Mand'alor had served his Sith master faithfully in life, had died to fulfill his oath, and millennia later the Sith repaid his sacrifice with the blood of millions of his own people. He detests the Jedi, he makes this point very clear, but he loves his people more. Let the jetii in their ranks perform his Force osik. Even if the very thought of such an act makes him feel sick to his stomach, the survival of their people and their Creed is more important.

With the vote decided, Tarre merely has to pick his Champions. The range of the ritual can only go so far back. The Force is infinite, but Tarre's presence within it is not. He had gone through great lengths during his early life to not seem too strong, too much of a threat, and his efforts had resulted in a rather limited way of thinking.

He brings in Jaster to help make the decision. As annoying as the man could be, as much as Tarre disagreed with him on matters of morality and honor, he was quite knowledgeable about the destination time period. Both of them made their careers not just on the strength of their arms, but in the force of their personalities. They know what they need to look for in potential champions: those who would follow the orders of the dead, those whose skill set would prove apt for their designated theaters of war, and those who could be manipulated through their honor and beliefs.

That last one, the manipulation, it leaves a sour taste in Tarre's mouth, but the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

In their dreams that night, two young Mandalorians and a Jedi are offered a choice by Tarre. They all accept.

Simultaneously, at the very edges of the Manda a father speaks to his son for the first time in many years, and in the face of his buir's stern disappointment the son reverts back to that orphaned fourteen-year-old. He agrees to his orders, and dreads facing his greatest mistake.

And in the Force, the essence of what was once a young knight who sacrificed himself for his family is plucked away from the collectiveness he had been lost in, and offered a similar choice. He eagerly accepts.

#this started as how I typically write my AU posts and morphed into whatever the hell this is #seriously you can see the writing style shift partway through and I don't care enough to fix it #star wars #star wars au #tarre vizsla #master fay #jaster mereel #jango fett #mandalore the binder #mandalore the indomitable #Tarre and Fay were mlm wlw solidarity #star wars rebels #star wars the clone wars

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notstilinski · 9 months

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One Last Stop Starters !

Taken from the 2021 novel by Casey McQuinston, One Last Stop Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“(Name), stop telling people about frog ghosts.”

“They’re on (Name)‘s sleep schedule, though. So, a ghost in the night.”

“It gave us nine great years. And carpet can hide a multitude of sins.”

“If they’re gonna kill you, get their DNA under your fingernails.”

“That little twink contains multitudes.”

“They love me as much as they love anyone else.”

“You like jokes. I don’t.”

“Do you realize you just say words in any random order like they’re supposed to mean something?”

“I can’t decide if I’m impressed or horrified?”

“Definitely brought me back from the dead more than once, so, thank you.”

“Really out here smashing pussy, (Name).”

“We get about a hundred hot lesbians through here a week. You’ll find another one.”

“Sorry, like, it’s your life and all, but do you not hear how badass that sounds?”

“That sucks. I’m your mom now. The rules are, no Tarantino movies and bedtime is never.”

“You’re a bullshitter.”

“Because you have, like, the energy of someone who knows things.”

“A frontal lobotomy to forget the night I had?”

“Never thought I’d see a vampire I didn’t want to fuck.”

“We’ve kissed, like, three times, but they have that thing where they’re terrified of being loved and refuses to believe they’ve deserved it. It’s so tedious.”

“Does it ever, like… I don’t know. Make you lonely? To love somebody who can’t meet you there?”

“I hadn’t pegged you for a scammer.”

“I’m mysterious by nature, (Name).”

“Jesus. What did ya’ll do this time?”

“Hey, what’s up with you? Who hurt your feelings?”

“Who do we have to frame for murder?”

“A gift from (Name)? What god have I pleased?”

“Oh, I’m loving this already. What kind of creatures?”

“Cute. Maybe a poltergeist. A cute poltergeist. Can I meet them?”

“So, you’ve gathered us here to tell us you’re boned up for a ghost.”

“What? Pick the lock? What kind of feral child are you? Are you Jessica Jones?”

“You know, I thought you were a little spicy when I met you.”

“I swear to God, if a ghost kills me, I’ll haunt the shower.”

“Your friend is weird.”

“I told you, I think, I’m. Something’s wrong with me.”

“Honestly? The day I met you.”

“Yeah, guess I don’t have the whole magical soulmate bond you have with them.”

“(Name). Can we maybe not treat them like a creature of the week?”

“Like you’re their Pop-Tart angel. Like you shit sunshine. Like you invented love as a concept.”

“I think I should kiss you.”

“I’m repressing it! Let me repress it!”

“You’re so mean to me.”

“So many questions for someone who does not come to work.”

“Yeah, exactly. Forever. As in, it’s the only thing I know how to do.”

“I know logistically how to perform some tasks.“

“Go where? I’m trying to have a nervous breakdown here.”

“Can you turn that brain of yours off for a second and trust?”

“It makes me feel like I’m going to die!”

“You trusted me, right? Now trust yourself.”

“Big dick energy is gender neutral.”

“I mean, it’s as if you like to be emotionally tortured.”

“God, you are the most useless bisexual I’ve ever met in my entire goddam life.”

“I’d disappoint them. They don’t deserve to be disappointed.”

“Loving the sacrilege.”

“Wow, holy shit, you figured it out. You’re gonna win a Peabody Award for reporting.”

“As fun as it is to break your brain, no one at work knows. Tell them and I break your arm.”

“Is your family horny for Jesus too?”

“I’m not cute. I’m-I’m tough. Like a cactus.”

“Where does that disembodied voice keep coming from?”

“They’re always wearing the exact same thing. That’s ghost behavior if you ask me.”

“And I left them. That’s… Fuck. I forgot how that felt. I left them.”

“Yes, thank you. I invite you to eat a dick. Goodbye.”

“Maybe no good timing means there’s no bad timing either.”

“You’re a normal person. Under un-normal circumstances.”

“That’s new for you, huh? Being able to get drunk?”

“Is this a date? Am I on a date right now?”

“(Name). Any way you want to kiss me is the way I wanna be kissed, okay?”

“You’re like—like a fucking painting or something stupid like that, what the fuck. You just walk around like this all the time.”

“Sorry, was I skulking? Sometimes I skulk without realizing.”

“Okay, still, let me be a mom for a second.”

“(Name), we’re adults, just say you got your back blown out.”

“I guess criminal behavior isn’t as much of a turn-on for me.”

“Never go to a second location with someone unless you’ve checked their trunk for weapons first.”

“Let go of me. I deserve to be free.”

“They’re not gonna leave us if they get married, (Name).”

“How did this become a roast of me? (Name) is the one under the table.”

“I’m wearing a shirt and no pants. I’m Winnie the Pooh-ing it.”

“What do you mean? Why would they leave me something? I’m the shameful family secret.”

“No. I hit him. The lip is from when someone else pulled me off of him.”

“It’s like I died. I died, except I have to feel it. And on top of that, I have to feel everything else I’ve ever felt all over again. I have to get the bad news again every day, I have to deal with the choices I made, and I can’t fix it. I can’t even run from it. It’s miserable.”

“No, you didn’t. But you made me realize it. You made me remember. And maybe that’s worse.”

“Just because you can’t run doesn’t mean you can make me do it for you.”

“Uh-huh, and this wouldn’t have anything to do with the way you reflexively ice out anyone who even appears to have rejected or wronged you?”

“Oh, so they… they thought I just left without saying goodbye?”

“It’s not a heist. It’s… an elaborate, planned crime.”

“Okay…hmm… oh, I’ve made friends with a subway rat.”

“Judge all you want, but I’m the only one who will be spared in the inevitable Great Rat Uprising.”

“No, it’s cute! You’re such a nerd. It’s endearing!”

“What can I say? I’m the one that got away.”

“I have to say, I’m impressed. This is definitely the most organized crime I’ve ever been involved in.”

“Sometimes the point is to be sad, (Name). Sometimes you just have to feel it because it deserves to be felt.”

“For what it’s worth, you’ve never disappointed me once since I’ve met you.”

“Is there anything else you want, before tomorrow?”

“I just did it because I thought you were hot.”

“I was really lonely before I met you.”

“I like when you’re in crime boss mode.”

“They have to kill him. It’s the only way.”

“I can think later. Right now I just want to be here, okay?”

“I’m here. I’m not leaving.”

“You’re the most important person I’ve ever met. And I never should have met you at all.”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence starters #sentence meme #starter sentences #ask prompts #ask meme #inbox memes #inbox prompts #novel sentence starters #my eyes are so tired from reading all day Jesus #gotta admit that it took me like 100 or so pages to get into this book & then i was in it for the long haul

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ask-chain-and-glitch · 1 month

Text

.....

You know whenever Austin get mad they get real scary? Yeah here yall fuckers go

And yes...I have returned...

BACK WITH MORE HUMOR, ANGST, FLUFF, CHECKPOINT FAN STORIES AND DAD JOKES BABY!

EndKing!Steve

Chapter 19

Found...

Narrator pov:

As Lily gently closed the door she went back upstairs to her room and check one of her cabinets. She pulled out a picture of her and Steve, they used to be lovers now just friends I guess. She kind of misses him, even though they both haven't seen each other for a week, still...they haven't met in a while, she decides to go visit him in his house tomorrow, you know, Like any friend good would do.

But,...doesn't she know about Steve's disappearance?...

As tomorrow came she went outside with her usual clothes like her red-velvet dress and white long-sleeves, and ofc you can't forget about her bowtie. As she got to Steve's house she came to see that there was a whole investigation going on, caution tapes surrounded the house from front to back, police cars could be seen at the side of the walkway, thinking that it was just some- prank Steve is trying to pull or just getting an excuse for lily to not visit him.....or so she thought

I guess we already know the drill here, am I right? She walks in witnessing the house was filled to the brim with,...obsidian Spikes? That's new, is it?...it was just purple Spikes now it...made of obsidian?...

Nevertheless she was horrified at the sighting, everything was broken down, from the the upstairs to the downstairs it was a mess! The place looked demolished. A hole was made at the back of the wall. It was a trail of endstone along with those obsidian Spikes...

She was too scared to go even though there was still sunlight peeking out from the trees, she called Kaite for some help but no response...she probably left her phone at home...lily looked back at the trial of endstone and decided it wasn't worth finding out what happened...yet she was still worried about Steve...lily thought that Mesa did this considering that Mesas always the one who causes trouble in both the town and Steve. Glad the police was already there but what's the police going to do with an army? What are they gonna say 'how put you hands up where I can see them!' Seriously?...

She just hopes Steve couldn't back safely...

...

Safely?...think again...

...

With Chris and Austins house...

Austin pov:

I woke up to see Chris just...gone? He's probably in the lab- labrotor...labr...Laboratory! Yes, Laboratory

(hey...let's brighten up the mood up here a little alright?)

I went downstairs to check if there was anything, all that there was is just a Sunnyside up, it had a smiling face on it, I giggled at this thought it was a little funny before eating it.

Austin: Dad(Chris) makes the greatest breakfast ever!

...

...wait...what did I just call Chris?....I was gathering my thoughts trying to process what I just said, untill...

I heard the door creek open

....

Arnetta: Austin did you just called Chris 'dad'?

Arnetta was at the door just there waiting for my response

Austin:n-nothing! It was nothing!

I was embarrassed

Arnetta: really? Because the last time I checked you called Chris 'dad'

I was even more embarrassed! Arnetta was teasing me at this point, soon after, she was mocking me

Austin:sh-shut up...

It was getting annoying at this point

Arnetta: ohhh~? What if I don't?

She began mocking me again telling me that she'll tell Chris about it

(Gezz...I'm fine if I get called dad but eh)

Austin: shut up...

Her voice began to ringing in my ears,

...

Austin: I said SHUT UP.

(No rude feelings ok?)

I screamed, rage coursing through my veins.

(Kinda cringe- ok)

Arnetta: ok ok gezz...

I sighed as I continued to eat my breakfast, before she asked

Arnetta: also, Austin is Chris here?

Austin: he's probably in his lab- labro...labrotor...

Arnetta: haha, it's ok Austin I'll go check on him, see you later!

She closes the door before leaving, finally I can eat my breakfast in peace, as I began to wonder...

...

...Sister...where are you?...

With Chris in his laboratory

Chris pov:

Gezz...how many old books I'd I even get?...I was looking for more things about this...'End King' guy...I was searching through shelf through shelf when I finally got what I needed

Chris: Gotcha!

Arnetta: hey Chris!

Chris: WHAT THE FU-

(OH HELL NO YOUR NOT-)

Before I could finish I fell from he ladder, I was caught by Arnetta before I fell to the solid ground below (fancy, yes.) I was shaking in fear after that happened

Arnetta: umm...Chris you good there?

Chris:...

Arnetta:...

Chris: what in the- HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!

Arnetta: WHAT DID I DO?!

We were getting nowhere with just screaming. Before we said another word she put me down letting me stand up and grabbing the book I needed.

Chris: dont just randomly shout across the room whenever I'm doing stuff here Arnetta...

Arnetta: haha, sorry about that...

I got to my table and opend the book to the first page...

It was blank, all of it...from the front, center and end, it was nothing...I heard someone commind down on the lab, before I could open the door to the small library I have, Austin walked in

Austin: oh hey guys!

Chris: oh Austin! What are you doing here?

Arnetta: yeah aren't you supposed to play with Jellybean?

Austin: yeah...but she's asleep and doesn't wanna play right now...

Austin: also want are you guys reading?

Chris: this blank book

Arnetta: there's nothing in this thing...Chris are you sure this thing is empty?

Chris: didn't we already checked?

Austin: let me see...

Austin went closer to get a better look at the book then...

Austin: ow!

Chris: what happened?

Austin: I got cut...ow-

Chris: let me see...

As I was checking on Austin scrach, there blood dripping off, the blood drop splattered on the blank page, as soon as it dissolved on the blank paper, the blank page began to show words, sentences, page by page it began to show more and more. This wasn't any ordinary book...it was something more magical...I turned back to the front cover of the book and it revealed itself as the keepers journal,...

Chris:...

I was at shock, I've just collected a book that dated back to who knows when?!

Narrator pov:

Chris found the book back a few years back, it was inside a cave in a snowy mountain a few kilometers out of town, the book was left in a small makeshift chair?...

(idk anymore I'm loosing braincells by the second)

The chair was small that's for sure, it wasn't a throne, but the chair was made out of...it looked like a small sofa made out of straws

(Hey- this guy is like- back when the Sage was still alive ok? There really old ik)

...

Once they were almost done reading the journal

(and almost I mean they didn't understand as single shitty thing because all of the words were writen in enchantment book letters)

Arnetta turned around if anyone was behind them...she was anxious about her surroundings but they were the only ones there, Chris lab was well hid, if there was someone to break in the alarm would be setted off. Arnetta told the others that she's just going to check on what's up with the other rooms, because she hasn't seen it yet and Chris promised that he would give her a tour of the place but didn't happen because he was busy. As Arnetta left so did Chris leaving Austin all by themselves.

Austin was just checking the other shelves to see if they could read anything, but sadly nothing all that was there was just some lame old books that probably dated back when the dinosaurs were still alive (danm💀)

Creeeeeeek~

Austin slowly looked at the creeking door, it was old and rusty with the sign that says 'don't come in!' They were curious on what was inside, sugar? Candy? Sweets?! Austin mind was flooded with almost every sugar sweet candy's, they wanted to come inside there gut tells them not to...as if there was someone or some'thing' inside that was highly dangerous. But Austin resisted of going inside and just read some boring old books instead while Chris took Arnetta for a little tour around his laboratory

.....

But Austin should have been more cautious of the things around them, above and around....the ones across reality

...

As the room becomes silent...the figure had appeared...

???? Pov:...

????: Haha....

...

found you.

End of chapter 19...

First chapter/previous/next

Whoooooooo! I'm back in business baby! LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Apologies if I already posted this in the past...if I did then notify me if so, if not then...hope yall enjoyed the story!

I'll post the next chapter tomorrow, sorry for posting in such a late date....

#my shit #my brain go brrrrr #my oc #endking!steve au #my au #checkpoint #checkpoint: stm #chris checkpoint #austin checkpoint #repost? kinda...idk actually....#i kinda forgot....

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aizenat · 2 months

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Kpop fans who obsess over perceived sexualization of minors seem very unfamiliar with idol culture in east Asia in general.

Kpop fans freak out over idols under 18 debuting these days (even though idols debuting at 14-16 was very common in second gen lol) but like Sakura from Le Sserrafim was 13 when she debuted in her first idol group, and spent her early teen years performing for men. More egregiously than in Korea (hard to believe but true) female idols in Japan are specifically marketed to grown men. And idols debut crazy young there. It’s straight pedophilic.

I remember back in the late 2000s when I was heavy into Japanese music, finding a cute song with a goofy dance and one of the girls looking super young and being curious about her. Surely it was just those Asian genes tricking me, right? Nope; the two girls were part of a huge mainstream Japanese idol group and with a graduation system (the two were a subunit to help promote an anime lol), and when I looked up the one in particular who I thought looked super young, she was! She was 12 at the filming of the mv, and debuted when she was 11! Needless to say I was horrified and disgusted.

And I’ll never forget the last time I was at a con (it’s been over a decade so chill lol) and Berryz Koubo was going to perform. At one point me and my friends were walking from a hotel to the convention center, and there was a huge lawn where people would chill and take pictures and stuff. And there were like a shitload of Asian men in plains clothes that caught my attention because why were so many people not dressed up in some regard just hanging around? It was a couple of hours before the concert (I didn’t care because we had plans for hentai viewings during the time; hentai is stupid and there’s nothing more fun than watching it with a room with strangers cracking jokes the entire time lol), and I started to think maybe it was a coincidence until I heard two talking to each other in Japanese. It made me look at the men harder and realize they were wearing tshirts and had signs and hats and other paraphernalia with smiling young girls on them. I kinda forgot about the concert and realized after we passed them that they were here to watch the concert. And that all of them had been speaking Japanese to each other as they showed off their signs and stuff. And then I realized that these were likely super fans who literally flew from Japan to America to come to an anime convention just so they could see these girls.

And let me just say that every single one of those men looked very obviously like adults.

Idol culture as a whole is pedophilic. Like I’m not saying don’t get mad, but it irks me because I wish someone had that same energy for the children debuting before they’re even teenagers in Japan. And it’s also annoying when kpop isn’t even as bad as it was in the past. Second gen idols had that appeal to a degree too, but it’s so much better now and some of yall have no clue how. There was a point where I heard idiots complaining about modern girl groups all being “girl crush” (still trying to figure out whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean) but like that concept has a more universal appeal. I realized during one of my tirades about how trash kpop is now to a friend that I don’t hear girls say Oppa anymore in songs. Back during second gen, it was common. Mind you, I don’t listen to this current generation debuting (I decided after Le Serraffim’s messy debut that I wasn’t going to follow any new group anymore lol; time to admit I’m way too old for this shit) so maybe they are and I’m not hearing it. But in the groups I listen to who are still making music, there are no Oppas anymore.

And I’m not complaining but pointing out how the focus and marketing of these girls have changed. Being cutesy so guys want to date/bang them isn’t the main selling point anymore. With the success of groups like Black Pink and even New Jeans (still don’t like them lol), girl groups that girls like are far more successful and profitable than groups for perverted men to lust after. There’s real progress being made!

I just looked up the most popular idol groups in Japan right now and a lot of the current members in one group who supposedly were around when the current generation (fucking hate graduation systems in these groups lol) debuted are in their early twenties. There are a few about 25ish, but the majority are currently 20-22. And if they debuted about 6 years ago, well, do the math. Minor central.

I wish these criticisms of debuting minors and minors in idol groups reached Japan. Because boy do they need it.

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adamwatchesmovies · 7 months

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Tomcats (2001)

Tomcats is a sex comedy so aggressively misogynist, so unfunny, and so inept it will make you want to chemically castrate yourself with molten lava. It’s an extreme statement but your hatred towards this film will be extreme. Anything you can do to dissociate yourself from this wretched excuse for entertainment isn’t enough.

As another member of the gang gets married, the remaining bachelors make a pact to stay single forever. To make their pledge more interesting, everyone in attendance agrees to throw money in a fund every year, with the last “tomcat” taking the whole thing. Years later, when Michael (Jerry O’Connell) becomes indepted to pit boss Carlos (Bill Maher, who adds another reason to hate him by appearing in this film), he desperately needs cash. He makes it his mission to get Kyle (Jake Busey) to fall in love with the one woman he came closest to caring for, Natalie (Shannon Elizabeth).

At least writer/director Gregory Poirier lays his cards on the table right away. This is American Pie if ALL of the characters were Stiffler after spending a decade inside the world of Porky’s and then 10 times less funny. To the men in this film, women are not potential partners or lovers and friendship is out of the question. If you have a pair of breasts and you’re attractive, you’re another target. If you’re old or overweight, you’re garbage. Nothing could be worse than telling a woman “I love you” or spending the rest of your life in a monogamous relationship.

Assuming you can get past the rampant hatred for women that stinks up the entire running time, you’re in for a ridiculous and convoluted premise. In a bid to impress a woman who “only pays attention to high rollers”, Michael blows over $50,000 dollars on the casino floor in one night. I say if he’s that stupid, let him get dumped in the ocean with cement shoes. He’s too dumb to live. Instead, he’s given one chance to save his life by setting up his “friend” in a fake marriage to a woman who hates him. Granted, said friend took Natalie's virginity and threw her away like a proposition to allow women the right to vote, so you don't feel bad for him. Turns out Natalie is a vengeful undercover police officer and she’s more than willing to use the precinct’s ressources to spy on a civilian. Plus, she'll get paid, so that's great but uh oh! The more time she and Michael spend together, the more they realize they have things in common… What could happen next?

The plot is as predictable as it gets and since there is no character development or relationships to be fleshed out, the running time is padded with gags so lame they’ll make you beg for death. When Natalie hints to Michael that she may be falling for Kyle, he becomes furious. In retaliation, he decides he’ll sleep with the next woman he sees (it’s that easy, don’t you know?). First one’s a fatty so he meant the first HOT woman he sees. It’s a demure librarian. I’ll give you three guesses what happens when she brings him home. It’s awful, but not as awful as the gag in which Michael has to chase down a runaway testicle in the hospital (really) or the running joke in which Michael and Kyle’s mutual friend, Steve (Horatio Sanz) thinks his beautiful wife, Tricia (Jaime Pressly) is cheating on him with another woman. She is and he would be mad about it but when he gets invited to join the in the bedroom, all of his anger and anxieties go away.

The performances from the leads aren’t the worst you’ve seen. Or maybe they just seem decent compared to Jaime Pressly, who is so awful you swear they sculpted her out of pine and dragged her on set. Your jaw drops but you pick it up quickly out of fear that some bodily fluid will fly out of the screen and into your mouth. This is the one area where the film kind of shows restraint. Aside from a fake-look lactating breast shown during a horrifying fantasy sequence, there isn’t any nudity in this movie… until the end credits when we see a bunch of outtakes, none of which are any funnier than the actual movie.

If all of these flaws weren’t enough, the direction is aw-ful. Gregory Poirier transitions from scene to scene like an amateur. You know those transitions you find in Microsoft Powerpoint? The one where the screen spins on itself, the checkerboard cross, the zig-zag cross, and the circle wipe? all are used without a dash of irony. The budding “romance” between Natalie and Michael isn’t the least bit convincing because a) the actors have no chemistry whatsoever and b) their dialogue is never romantic or realistic. Constantly, your eyes will dart towards the clock on your player. Has it really only been an hour? We’ve got how many more minutes to go?

I haven’t hated a movie as much as I hated Tomcats in a while. It’s hard to imagine ANYONE watching the film and having a good time unless they were one of those “bros before hoes” idiots… and even then, they wouldn’t be able to relate to this film’s ending so that’s a no-go for those chowderheads either. I can’t wait to forget I ever saw this abomination. (On VHS, May 9, 2021)

#tomcats #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #gregory poirier #jerry o'connell #shannon elizabeth #jake busey #horatio sanz #jaime pressly #2001 movies #2001 films

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bloodanddiscoballs · 1 year

Text

hey I just had a VIVID flashback of a memory in high school and I shared it in the tags of that tf2 art but here:

in sophomore year I had a science class where we had to dissect squids (too poor of a school for frogs and we were by the ocean so). one of my friends (who I ended up being in my first polycule with) was my lab partner and I made a joke about how I wanted to keep the squid cause I loved the disgustingness of picking through it. we named it and said it was our baby. then she looked at me all serious (joking mind you) and went "we can't abandon our child Dez you have to take him with you when we leave." well I had no impulse control so I was like "ok!" and when class was done I went up to our teacher and was like "hey what do you do with these when we're done with them?" and he, being already tired of my freak ass halfway through the year gave me a withered look and said what any normal teacher would say "I throw them away." I asked if I could take ours with me to lunch and he looked at me, probably thinking back and questioning if getting his teaching degree was even worth it, and finally sighed and said "Yes but if a lunch monitor sees you, you have to say you stole it I'm not covering for you I'm not allowed to have these leave the classroom." I said I'd be sneaky and he looked exhausted and off I went with my new squid friend wrapped in paper towels from the lab.

mind you these squids had been covered in embalming fluid so they could last the trip for us teenagers to learn about them by cutting them open, so you were supposed to handle them with gloves which I did when I was in class but I did NOT once I left the classroom. so for about 20mins of our 45min lunch period, I was playing with this poor long dead creature thinking it was the coolest thing in the world and making my other freak friends laugh and making my poor vegan friend horrified. finally, I got bored and threw it away and, INSTEAD of going to wash my hands, I decided I was gonna eat my lunch. like a normal person (lying).

I was flirting with one of my friends and told them to throw food in my mouth and I'd try to catch it and handed them one of those beef jerky packets I'd gotten from the gas station across the street from our high school. well they missed one and it landed in the dirt and I ate it anyway and also ate the sandwich I got. again I never washed my hands. they still REEKED of fish and the chemicals. lunch period ended and I went to Spanish. halfway through class I started to feel sick so I asked to go to the bathroom. I remember being all sweaty and shaky. the last thing I remembered was kneeling to be sick and then I was woken up to some girl I'd never seen cupping water from the sink to splash on me. I hadn't even been able to close the stall door so when she had come in to pee she found my stupid ass passed out in the girls room.

anyway I ended up being fine but yeah if you wanted a look into who I am/was when I was a teenager there you go skfkdng

#story time #id literally forgotten about this but wow #i turned out ok tho i guess

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nirikeehan · 1 year

Note

HAP FRI NIRI I beg for some Pravinquisition PLEASE, perhaps with ❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜???

HI MER so this one kinda got away from me. It's a continuation of this fill that I posted last week. Enjoy Pravin and Cullen and their bad ideas. And we're both writing about Cullen hitting things tonight, which I love. 😊

As always, Pravin belongs to @monocytogenes

For @dadrunkwriting

WC: 2903

CW: Violence, blood, some light torture

---

Cullen squinted at his reflection in the looking glass. The dark circles under his eyes he had long since considered a permanent feature, much like the vertical scar above his lip. Although he deemed his hair presentable, he’d once again lacked time for a proper shave. The stubble clung to his jaw and chin, giving him a vaguely disheveled visage. And the collar of this infernal uniform was still too tight. He watched himself tug at it, once, twice to no avail, the ire growing on his face.

Sighing, he looked down at the notecards in his hand, scrawled with the shorthand for tonight’s speech. He’d memorized Varric’s words a week earlier and had been practicing them ever since, but still feared he’d take a singular glance at the crowd of sycophants tonight and forget every one.

The knock was a welcome distraction. “Come,” Cullen called, straightening. The heavy wooden door to his room at the Gull and Lantern slid open, and in slipped Fidencio Frye — no, scratch that. His name was Pravin Talavera, and in one of many strange twists in Cullen’s life as of late, the Antivan was actually the Inquisitor’s third cousin.

Or was it fourth? Tracing noble bloodlines gave Cullen a headache.

He did not fully understand why Pravin and Thalia had decided to keep this fact a secret for months. However, given Pravin’s line of work, Cullen could not begrudge him the desire for anonymity. He had proven a reliable advisor, tempering Leliana’s more… straightforward approach. Whatever Pravin’s true identity, Cullen considered him a friend. (Which was more than could be said for some who still served the Inquisition despite inconvenient identity reveals.)

“Have you come for a last minute rehearsal?” Cullen asked. The damn speech had been Pravin’s idea, and the bard had spent much of the previous week coaxing a passible delivery from Cullen’s lips. “I hate to tell you, but unless Corypheus crashes the party tonight and I need to rally the troops, this is as good as it’s getting.”

The joke fell uncharacteristically flat. Pravin seemed distracted, a frown etched below his waxed mustache. He ran fingers through the pointed chin hair, lost in thought. “A situation has arisen.”

“What is it?” Cullen asked, dropping all pretense. His gaze darted to the nearby bureau, on top of which he’d put his scabbard and sword. In truth, he was almost relieved.

Pravin looked at Cullen from under the brim of his hat, his green eyes glittering in the shadow cast upon his face. “How much do you know about Thalia’s tattoo?”

Cullen blinked, surprised by the non sequitur. “I… very little. She doesn’t like speaking of it. It’s something related to her time at the Circle, I understand.”

When Cullen met Thalia, he’d assumed the face tattoo to be a statement piece, much like that of his friend Rylen. Something en vogue across the Free Marches, perhaps. When Thalia told him it had been mandatory for all Ostwick Circle mages to get, Cullen had been taken aback. The Gallows had had more than its fair share of institutional troubles, but at no point had any Kirkwall Templar suggested they permanently mar the faces of all their charges.

He had never succeeded in learning more about the practice. Not even recently, when he’d felt compelled to kiss every inch of the ornate design across her face. He’d stopped when he tasted the salt of her tears, horrified. Cullen sensed that he had tapped into a deep well of pain — a phenomenon all too familiar to him. She hadn’t wanted to talk, and he hadn’t wanted to push.

His hands clenched into fists at his sides. “Why?”

Pravin paced the room with a strange, frenetic energy. “Evidently, at some point before her time at the tower in Ostwick, some Templar came up with the brilliant idea that face tattoos could act as a backup security measure to mage phylacteries. I’m certain you know more about this than I do, Commander, but this Templar was not satisfied with the idea, thinking that such things could be lost or broken. He also fancied himself something of an artist. He devised the design himself. By the time she came to the Circle, he’d had many years to perfect it.”

Cullen felt nauseous. He braced himself against the stone wall. “Thalia told you all this?”

Pravin nodded. “I assume,” he said, voice soft, “this was not standard protocol among the Templars?”

“Maker, no.” Cullen shook his head vehemently. “The phylacteries were always considered the least invasive way of making sure every mage was accounted for.”

“That’s what I thought.” Pravin took a slow breath. “It’s very painful, I’ve been told. Tattooing that close to the bone. And takes hours, for work that intricate.”

Cullen felt a deep, seething rage rise within him. Such anger hit him sometimes, red-hot and mean, with a potency that scared him. “Pravin, what’s going on?”

“It seems,” his friend said carefully, enunciating each word as if he were on stage, “the man responsible, someone named Algernon, is present in Redcliffe tonight. He must have left Ostwick to join the Mage-Templar war, and is how skulking about the Hinterlands, not having the grace to die when he had the chance.”

“He’s here,” Cullen said, stunned. “Right now?”

“Indeed. And had the absolute gall to approach Thalia this evening, when she was taking petitioners. I chased him off before he could try anything, but she’s pretty shaken up about it.” Pravin grinned tightly. “A couple of your soldiers need a reprimand, by the way. They stood right by and let it happen.”

“Andraste have mercy.” Cullen leaned against the window frame, glaring out into the night, as if he could catch a glimpse of the knave by sheer chance. The soldiers he could discipline later. “So he could be plotting to return as we speak.”

Pravin’s mouth twitched. “You always get right to the heart of an issue, Commander. I like that about you.”

Cullen paused. In the window glass he saw his reflection — jaw set at a sharp angle, eyes narrowed. He barely recognized himself, although he knew he must look like this often, when about to give an order with lethal consequences. “Are you proposing we do something to cut off his plans?”

“He can’t have gone far, and Redcliffe’s not that big.” Pravin gave a casual shrug. “I have a few contacts among the refugees I could ask. Probably won’t take long to find him.”

Cullen looked up, meeting Pravin’s eyes. “And what exactly are you proposing we do about it? The Inquisition has limited jurisdiction for law and order here. All that falls to Arl Teagan.”

Pravin waved a dismissive hand in the air. “Oh, I don’t think Arl Teagan need get involved. Or anyone else, for that matter.”

Cullen leaned his back against the wall, crossing arms over his chest. “So you are suggesting vigilante justice.”

Pravin narrowed his eyes. “That’s a strong term for it.”

“But an accurate one,” Cullen countered. “If the Inquisition’s Commander and one of its most trusted advisors are caught sneaking about the slums of Redcliffe on some petty quest for revenge—”

“If we’re caught. I have no intention of letting that happen.” Pravin sighed. “Think about it, Commander. Think of how much damage this man has caused, under the banners of a corrupt Order. Think of how it must have felt for Thalia.”

The fury crept up Cullen’s throat, coiled and waiting to strike. He thought of all the complaints that crossed his desk in Kirkwall, the official accusations and the anonymous rumors alike, how they were often appalling to even behold. And all the times he brought them up to Meredith, only to have them dismissed, the papers cast aside, forgotten. It’s not your job to advocate for these unfortunates, Cullen, she told him, more than once.

Then what is it? he’d snapped at her, finally, near the end.

Her blue eyes had never seemed colder. To keep them where they are.

“This man.” Cullen’s voice was raw. He felt an abrupt, maddening desire for a hit of lyrium. “This — Algernon, you said his name was?”

Pravin nodded.

Cullen thought of Ser Alrik, the spate of Tranquil mages, the stack of complaints sitting untouched on Meredith’s desk. He ignored the tremor in his hands. “Did Thalia say whether he… did anything else to her?”

A knowing silence passed between them. Pravin’s face hardened into a mask to rival that of Orlesian nobility. “No,” he said softly. “But she was fourteen years old, and he apparently ‘really seemed to enjoy himself.’”

Cullen closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. He felt, rather than heard, a roaring in his ears. He strode to the bureau and grabbed his scabbard, pretending not to see the azure haze at the edges of his vision. “Let’s go pay this Algernon a visit.”

Slowly, painfully, Pravin smiled.

---

The row of rotting cottages along the Redcliffe docks was notorious for housing degenerates. So went the wisdom of Pravin’s contacts, who eagerly accepted his sovereigns in exchange for the information. If someone like Algernon was to be found, it would be there.

Two cloaked figures kept to the torch-lit shadows, the shorter and slighter leading the way. Cullen felt as though his heart might burst out of his chest following behind Pravin.

The first two houses were abandoned, containing only damp barrels and the scent of fish. The third gave shelter to a handful of former Templars. They sat on the grimy floor on their bedrolls, passing around contraband lyrium bottles. None answered to Algernon and no one claimed to know him. Cullen was grateful for the hood on his cloak, and that Pravin had insisted they both change into more discreet clothing. He stared at the sunken faces and haunted eyes, and did not want them to know that he felt the pull of the cerulean song as strongly as they did.

The fourth house had a collapsed roof and no way to get inside. The fifth possessed a window that glowed dimly with the light of a lantern. When Pravin knocked and called the man’s name, the door opened.

He was raggedy, taller than them both, thin and spindly like a scarecrow. Limp hair sat on either side of his temples, and his eyes were a dull, washed-out blue. “Can I help you gentlemen?”

Pravin kept his head bowed in darkness, but Cullen found it impossible not to look the man square in the face. He pictured his spidery hands on Thalia, holding her down to be restrained, imagined his grotesque face leering close to hers, delighting in causing her pain.

“Are you Algernon, formerly of the Ostwick Circle?” Cullen demanded.

The man’s beady eyes darted from Cullen to Pravin and back, his grip tightening on the doorframe. “Who’s asking?”

Cullen turned to Pravin, catching his friend’s one green eye visible under the shadow his hood. He nodded, almost imperceptibly. Cullen surged forward, catching the door before Algernon could slam it in his face. With a hard kick, he sent it flying open, nearly breaking off its hinges, and Algernon backed away with a yelp.

“Please, sers, I don’t know what this is about,” Algernon groveled as Cullen and Pravin stormed the premises, “but I don’t want any trouble.”

“You chased trouble yourself tonight when you approached the Inquisitor,” Cullen growled.

Algernon’s eyes widened. “That? I was just being friendly, I swear! I wanted to see an old— friend, let’s call it.”

“That runs rather contrary to what we’ve been told.” Pravin spoke for the first time — a soft, menacing tone that rivaled the near shout Cullen had achieved. He closed the door to the one-room hut, dragging a stray barrel in front of the entrance.

“You.” Algernon pointed at Pravin with a trembling finger. “You were there. Her… cousin. Listen, whatever she said to you, y-you mustn’t trust it. Mages have such a loose relationship with the truth—”

Cullen balled his hand into a fist and struck Algernon in the face. The blow caught him by surprise; he gave a yelp as he lost his balance and fell to the earthen floor. Cullen stood over him, knuckles stinging, chest heaving. He felt rage and disgust and exhilaration all at once.

“Nice shot,” Pravin deadpanned, stepping beside Cullen. “Shall I get him up for you?”

Cullen nodded.

“Wait, wait please! Whatever it is you want, I’ll do it. I’ll— I’ll apologize to the little miss, I’ll—”

Algernon shrieked as Pravin bent down and grabbed him by the back of his loose linen tunic. As Pravin hauled him to his feet, he tried to twist away, and Cullen saw just how emaciated he was. The life of a former Templar refugee was not kind.

“That ‘little miss’ is the Herald of Andraste, and the leader of the Inquisition,” Cullen said, while Pravin forced the man’s arms behind his back. His jaw was already beginning to swell, and fear danced in his pale eyes. Cullen’s voice dropped to near a whisper. “And you hurt her.”

“Please, you have to understand, it was for the good of the Circle! For her and everyone,” Algernon pleaded. “I was just doing my job.”

Cullen shook his head, flexing his hand and aiming another jab, this time at Algernon’s mid-section. The air escaped his lungs in a choked gasp.

“You weren’t,” Cullen said. “I know exactly what duties are in the Templar job description, and disfiguring the faces of children isn’t one of them.”

Algernon slumped forward, coughing and sputtering. “I-I’m an artist,” he rasped. “I— I only— wanted to practice my art…”

Recoiling, Cullen hit again, two sharp jabs in the jaw. The man gurgled and heaved, spitting out saliva mixed with blood and white bits that might be teeth at Cullen’s feet.

Cullen leaned against the wall, trying to catch his breath. The knuckles on one hand had split, and the other tingled with pain. Yet he wanted to lunge forward, punch Algernon again, and again…

“Did I hear right?” Pravin asked, calm. “Did he just call himself an artist?”

“He did.” Cullen felt ill.

Pravin shoved Algernon in his direction. “Hold him for me, will you?”

Algernon stumbled, head lolling. Cullen caught him, seizing him by the elbows, a technique born of habit of subduing apostates.

“Not like that,” Pravin said, pulling down his hood. His mussed black hair shone in the dull lantern light. “You’ll want to hold him very, very still.”

Cullen frowned, the primal elation quieting as he took in Pravin’s unsettling serenity. He advanced on Algernon, hand slipping under the hem of his doublet and returning to his side. The motion was so subtle Cullen didn’t see what he held until the blade glinted orange.

“Whoa, hang on,” Cullen said as Pravin raised the long stiletto. “This isn’t what we agreed upon.”

Algernon saw the knife and began to struggle anew; Cullen had to grab his torso to keep him from escaping. Algernon let out a scream. “Help! Help, they’re going to kill me!”

“Shhh,” Pravin murmured. He glided closer and held the point of the stiletto under Algernon’s chin. “I’d think very carefully about your next movements, if I were you.”

Algernon fell into terrified silence. “Pravin,” Cullen insisted. The thrill of exacting revenge was rapidly wearing off, replaced by a growing alarm that perhaps the two of them had come here with different agendas. “Summary execution is not—”

“Oh, do relax,” Pravin chided. “I’m not intending to kill him. Merely give him a memento he’ll never forget… just like Thalia.”

Pravin grabbed Algernon roughly by the shoulder and kneed him in the groin. He cried out in pain and fell limp; Cullen staggered and dropped him. He backed away, grasping the wall for support. Pravin fell on top of Algernon, who lie face down on the floor. Straddling Algernon’s back, Pravin asked, “Is this how you did it? Is this how you held her down?”

Algernon was weeping openly. “No, no, please…”

“Pravin,” Cullen warned, but stayed still as if transfixed.

Pravin grabbed a clump of Algernon’s hair and lifted his head. “This man calls himself an artist, but it’s clear he’s never suffered for his art.” With his opposite hand, Pravin pressed the stiletto tip to the man’s cheek. “Let’s see how close I can get the design to Thalia’s, shall we? I suggest you lie still if you want to keep your eye.”

Algernon began to scream. Cullen felt light-headed and strange, clapping his hands over his ears. He knew he could stride closer, insist Pravin cease, knew he should. He sank to his knees instead, finding it difficult to breathe.

The door burst open then, the barrel rolling impotently out of the way. Standing there was Cassandra, looking aghast. “Commander?” she demanded in concern, locking eyes with him first. Then, aghast, her gaze fell to Pravin and his victim. “Fidencio!” she cried, drawing her sword. “Get away from him at once!”

Pravin pulled back, getting to his feet. Algernon stayed face down on the ground, sobbing and retching, his face a patchwork of red. Much of it had splattered on the front of Pravin’s clothes and cloak. “How did you find us?” he asked evenly.

“Never mind that,” Cassandra snapped in disgust. “Why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood?”

#cullen rutherford #pravin talavera #cassandra pentaghast #pravinquisition #fics #dragon age drunk writing circle

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thygoddessouijathicc · 1 year

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THE GANG GETS FUCKING ISEKAIED:

(Disclaimer: This is the best and worst thing I’ve ever done. This is just a really bad unfunny joke please don’t be offended :( this is inspired less by actual anime and more by parodies I’ve seen, I actually really like anime.)

Jack was just chilling with the Flipside squad and all 3 phone guys when suddenly a truck bursted through the fucking wall and killed all of tjem.

Jack woke up in a magical forest. Immediately, he feels an abundance of magical anime powers and titties.

His friends have all been TRANSFORMED!

Only Dee and Dave are present because I guess the phones spawnpoint is somewhere else idk.

Dee is a dragon and looks really cool ngl, but his attention is taken up by Dave. Dave has seemingly multiplied into a gaggle of 12 long necked purple anime girls… it’s horrifying.

Dee wakes up, sees the abundance of Daves and decides today is not her day and flies the fuck off to go do cool dragon things.

The true horrOwOr begins when the ✨DAVE COLLECTIVE✨awakens from its 80085 year slumber, and Jack is immediately serenaded by the voice of 12 men with a heavy New York accent in the body of anime girls saying weird things.

“What the fuck happened, this feels like 50 hangovers and I JUST got drunk.” The most normal looking Dave says. “Wait why the fuck do I have boobs!?”

TsunDave walks up to Jack and says “Baka! It’s not like I like you or anything!”and then slaps Jack.

“Ara ara!” says the horrifying Dave Milfer.

“Notice me Sportpai!” Says an extra crazy looking YanDave brandishing a knife.

“I awm wiving in agOwOnizing paiwn UwU.” A Dave with cat ears says.

“I-I-I uhhh… wh-why h-hello t-there O-Old Sport Kun.” A very shy Dave says.

“I’m gonna cut off your face because it’s hot sportsy.” SaDave says.

“Hello there Old Sport wanna go make friends with the nearby monsters?” An innocent Dave says.

“I have a dark backstory and am basically a catgirl but better because DOGGO.” An edgy wolfgirl Dave says.

“Sup Sportsy.” KuuDave says.

“Wouldst thou take my hand in marriage and become the king?” A Dave in a frilly dress asks.

Finally the last Dave days nothing but just falls over in an uncomfortable position with his boobs bouncing way too much.

All of the Dave’s (except the first one who just seems to be the original Dave who is very confused about what is going on and is more interested in figuring out why he has boobs honestly.) fight over Jack’s attention until the area is disrupted with something not quite as bad as the Dave Collective, but still weird.

An army of demons (some recognizably the phone guy’s are carrying a platform with a curtain around it. In front of Jack they stop, place the platform down.

“After all these years we have finally tracked down the legendary hero capable of both whipping and nae naeing at the same time! Now face your end at the hands of our great STEVEN LORD!”

The curtain opens to reveal a very confused and terrified Steven standing on the platform.

Everything goes silent. No one even knows what to do right now.

Suddenly the entire forest just fucking sets on fire.

“What the FUCK?!” Jack cries.

“Yeah things keep on spontaneously combusting. I think it’s because of that.” Peter says, pointing to the Dave Collective.

“You know what, fuck all this shit I’m getting out of here.” Jack says, grabbing the original Dave, the fanservice Dave and running off into the sunset.

“SO HOW DID YOU LIKE THE FIRST EPISODE OF YOUR ETERNAL TORTURE HENRY MILLER?” The shadow Doggo asks the pink man wearing a maid dress.

“Please just kill me.”

“LETS WATCH EPISODE TWO NOW.” Blackjack says.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The end.

(Note: penis)

#dsaf #Cursed as hell #Why did I do this #you guys gave me likes to do a cursed fic awhile ago and I guess be careful what you wish for #dayshift at freddy's #DAVE COLLECTIVE #MAID HENRY #STEVEN LORD

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onlinewithlove · 7 months

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Do We Ever Get Over Our First Love?

Life Update from Josephine to Genevieve

There comes a time in every woman’s life when she must face the inevitable: running into an ex-boyfriend at a mutual friend’s wedding. In this circumstance, I hadn’t known that he was going to be there – he’d missed the engagement party, thank god, and so I’d blissfully continued with my year assuming he wouldn’t show up at the grand event, saving me the emotional distress.

I was wrong, obviously.

My best friend since childhood, Kat, bit the bullet and texted Lance, the groom, asking if Trevor was going to be there. Later, I’d question the way she framed her question (“Someone is wondering if Trevor is going to be there on Saturday”) because there was no way in hell Lance wouldn’t know it was me who was actually asking. In the moment, however, I was too horrified by his response – which Kat screenshotted and sent to me with several exclamation points – to muster up the strength. Yes, he was going. “But don’t worry,” Lance added unhelpfully. “We put him at the couple's table with his new girlfriend.”

Kat and I, on the other hand, would be sitting at the “singles” table far, far away. Great.

Coincidentally, the night this devastating piece of news had fallen onto my lap was a Monday – which, starting at the end of May, had become my therapy nights. I usually dreaded logging onto Zoom for our sessions, since they always occurred after a particularly brutal workday – almost like my boss knew I was going to be subjected to an hour of torture and wanted to kick my workload up a notch every Monday just to make sure I was thoroughly exhausted and not at all in the mood to be told what was wrong with me.

“Well, I mean, I’m not going to lie and say I’m happy about it,” I told her, watching through the screen as she scribbled something down on the notebook in front of her. I used to hate when therapists did that, but I was fond of Michele, partly because we were both Capricorns and partly because I wasn’t sure she knew what she was doing all the time. Plus, I didn’t blame her for needing to take notes. I talked a lot, and not even the FBI’s strongest stenographer would be able to keep up with the number of men I mentioned.

“Trevor … hm,” she said, glancing down. I could see her hands flipping rapidly through pages of notes, scrambling to find where I’d mentioned him before. Surprise, Michele! I’d kept this one a secret. “How long were you two together?”

“Three years,” I said. “But we broke up five years ago.” I felt the need to clarify that last point, since I also wanted to reiterate that I was completely and utterly devoid of any lingering feelings for Trevor. I’m not sure if this is a normal thing for people to do, promising that they’re completely over someone whenever they bring up the guy that broke their heart. To me, it’s a safety net. If I mention that I feel nothing but apathy when I hear his name, then I deserve a free pass to bring up what happened all over again – even five years later.

“And how was that breakup hard for you? Hard?” Michele asked, looking up from her notebook. I nodded and wondered if I could crack a joke before realizing that there was no escape from this conversation, not if I really wanted her to help me.

And I did want her help. Two months ago I’d ended a situationship with a man over text message and decided, after wallowing in my bed for three days and re-reading the part where he called me fucking psychotic, that I might need to seek some professional advice. Advice from someone with a degree, preferably, who could tell me what the fuck was wrong with me and how I could get better. And this upcoming wedding, where I would face the person who had helped jump-start my addiction to volatile relationships, seemed like a good place to start.

“You could say that,” I said.

Trevor and I had broken up the third week of our Freshman year of college. Up until that point, thinking of a future without him had been unimaginable – mostly, as I explained to Michele, because it had been my first real relationship. I was in love, but I was also a teenager and completely blind to the possibility that what we had could come to an end. When it did, bluntly and over a three-minute Facetime call in my dorm room, I was devastated. I’d spiraled out of control, eating everything in sight and drinking obsessively to the point of vomiting nearly every day of the week while my new college friends watched helplessly from the sidelines. I’m sure Genevieve remembers what a mess I was when we first met. And from what I remember of Freshman year (which isn’t much, thanks to chugging Smirnoff like a Russian WWII veteran), I struggled to cope with the knowledge that a person I loved would never be in my life again.

It had taken two years for me to feel at peace with that breakup. Since then, the last time I’d seen Trevor had been a month into the pandemic, when we’d both ended up back in our hometown at the same time. We’d met up at a park near my house, sitting cross-legged on an old picnic blanket as we awkwardly avoided eye contact, and I’d felt nothing for him – no pang of grief in my chest, which was strange. It was like the universe had finally stepped in and picked my pain off my shoulders so I could finally move on.

And now, five years after our breakup, years I’d spent falling in and out of love with other people and crying and laughing and fucking and learning about myself, I was going to be in the same room as him again.

Michele listened patiently as I explained everything. It was strange, to bring up what had happened so many years ago – a breakup I thought I had completely healed from, since I’d fallen in love with other people and had so many other heartbreaks since then. But as I waited for my therapist to ask another question, I couldn’t help but wonder if eighteen-year-old me was still locked in my chest, pounding on my ribcage, screaming it’s not fair, it’s not fair, as the first boy she loved left her forever. I’d grieved, and I’d learned, and I’d even loved again – but she was still there, still inside of me. And my heart hurt.

“I say I’m over him,” I said, breaking the silence first. “But I’m not sure I’ll ever be over that feeling of being left behind.”

“And is that what you felt?” Michele asked. “Left behind? Abandoned?”

I stared at my reflection on the screen, the face of a girl who lashed out in fury the moment she saw any man reach for a latch, a window, a door. I didn’t blame Trevor for what had happened all those years ago when we were children, and I was glad that it had happened. But that loss had shattered something in me, and the shards kept reappearing in every relationship afterward.

Just once, I wanted to be loved even when I was difficult. Was that really so much to ask?

MY TAKE AWAY: It'll probably always hurt to be reminded of your ex. If you have to see them at a wedding, make sure you look hotter than them. And bring tequila.

Miss you Gen,

Josephine

#dating #love #first love #breakup #heartbreak #doweevergetoverourfirstlove #moderndating

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allyear-lff · 1 year

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Nil by Mouth

Summary: monster of a man makes life a misery for everybody around him, including himself.

Pot and musings: I have decided to make this a spoil fest, so if you don't want to know what the film is all about stop reading now, this is not a new film so I would expect many people are already familiar with it.

This film is part of the archive re-releases presented during the festival, it introduces us to one of the nastiest characters in British cinema portrayed with great conviction by a younger Ray Winstone.

The film revolves around a Cockney (East London) family (one of the production companies involved was called E8 after a postcode from the area) and their friends, the scene is aptly set by a couple of parallel scenes, in one we see Raymond (Ray), his wife, her family and his mates enjoying a night out watching a comedy in a pub, the action switches to a different scene in the street, where Bill, the brother in law of Ray, is buying some drugs for him and the men in the pub, the dialogue of the men is rash, uncut and very vulgar which sets the tone for the rest of the film, it is fair to say that women aren't shrinking violets in the film and can swear as much as anybody else.

Anyway, the men are organising a job as well, which is completely dodgy although I couldn't discern what it was all about (the East London accents are tremendously difficult to discern for somebody like me for whom English is a second language, but I wasn't alone, in places where the men were joking almost nobody was laughing, or perhaps the sexist jokes were not that funny, or have dated badly, but the dialogue flows with what feels great authenticity), after the job (which required to move some boxes while most men are in the lookout for trouble) the men go to a strip club, where they cavort with women almost naked while alcohol and drugs flow freely, Ray also engages in a brutal attack of a man for reasons that are unclear, his violent character starts to feel menacing at this point.

Later on Bill commits the mistake of stealing some drugs from Ray who notices the robbery, the animal that has been threatening to free itself finally does: he jumps at poor Bill and bites at his nose regardless of the protestations of his wife, Valerie (Val), after this attack Bill has to leave the flat very badly hurt and takes refuge with his mum, Jeanette, at this point Bill's addictive nature becomes all too obvious to the point that he has drugs in the back of his mum's car while she is watching, but his ultimate descent into madness is going back to Ray and Val's flat to steal anything he can to support his drug habit.

But Ray isn't done yet. He is obsessively possessive and jealous of Val, who is pregnant, so one day he shows up in the pub where Val is having a great time playing billiards and marches her home, on arrival she beats the heck out of her within an inch of her life, the beating is a mixture of anger, sadness and desperation, but not the less brutal for it, we don't see the blows landed but watch Ray in this strange mixture of emotions while he almost kills his wife.

Later on (next day?) Jeanette goes to visit just to become horrified at how badly beaten Val is, she claims it was a hit and run accident, Jeanette accepts this but not entirely convinced since Val is clearly lying about having gone to the hospital, she leaves her for a moment and at that point the inevitable happens and Val has a miscarriage.

At this point finally Val's family and friends unify against Ray and manage to keep him at bay although he keeps threatening everybody for being unable to continue bossing Val around.

It is now that Ray has a nervous breakdown, he resorts mostly to alcohol to sooth his existential pain, during a conversation with the last friend loyal to him it transpires that his dad was an alcoholic and never provided any affection to him, he clearly has been damaged by this. At the very bottom of his desperation he destroys completely the family flat in a scene which reminded me of Coppola's "The Conversation" very last scene, but this is the most jarring because it is pure rage unprompted by an external threat.

The last part of the film is very unconvincing, Ray intercepts Val in the way to Janette's flat, where she is taking refuge, and they have a conversation, relatively civil, in which Val makes it clear she wants to find somebody else that really loves her. Why Ray isn't in jail after the beating is a mystery at this point, but the end is even more ludicrous, we see the family joking affably in the rebuilt flat, like if Ray has managed to become a reformed character. Sorry, but this really didn't feel well thought out.

In parallel to all of the above Bill continues to have drug problems that eventually lands him in jail, where we last see him doing drugs.

The film has many elements to be commended for, the acting is incredible, the characters feel raw an real, not relatable at all though, but that is perhaps a bridge too far for some spectators, the ending is poorly managed and contrived, the film deserved better than the inexplicable happy ending we see and that brings it down a massive notch on my appreciation because it is not believable.

Rating: 3.5/5

60 of 168

Date: 15 November 2022

Venue: BFI Southbank

The list of films in the LFF 2022

#lff2022 #lff

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the-atlas-sister · 3 years

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First Kiss (Batfamily Preference)

(Y/f/h= your favorite hairstyle)

Bruce:

Bruce put on a fake smile, like he usually did at these galas. A handful of people approached him and asked him about his company or life, mostly old ladies asking when he was going to get himself a wife.

He let out a puff of air as the last group of old ladies walked away from him. He raised his glass of sparkling water to his lips, scanning the room for his special guest.

That's when he saw you. You wore a black dress that fit you perfectly and your hair was in (y/f/h). Alfred led you into the large room, saying something to you.

You looked around the room filled with people, anxiety rising in your chest. Your eyes finally landed on Bruce who stared at you with a loving expression on his face. You felt at ease as you stared at him.

Bruce approached you, taking your hand and raising it to his lips. They grazed your knuckles gently and you blushed as he kept eye contact.

"You look beautiful, my dear," Bruce said, spinning you.

"Thank you," you said, smiling gratefully.

"I want to show you something," Bruce said, giving you a boyish grin.

"Alright," you said, letting him guide you up the main stairs. He continued to lead you down the long halls until you reached a large terrace overlooking the garden and pool. "Wow," you sighed, leaning your elbows on the railing. You stared in awe at the beautiful sight before you, not noticing Bruce come up next to you.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" he asked, making you look at him.

"Very," you said. "I can't believe this is all yours."

"It can be yours too," he stated, turning to you.

"That's very sweet," you chuckled, turning back to the garden.

Bruce smiled at you. "I mean it," he said, gripping your chin gently and making you look at him. "I love you, Y/N," he said honestly.

Your eyes widened. You stared at Bruce before leaning forward and pressing your lips against his. You pulled away seconds after. "I love you too," you said quietly, your face a deep red.

Bruce's face lit up before he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into a sweet hug.

(Don't mind me. Just blushing because I'm imagining Christian Bale's Bruce Wayne)

Dick:

"You'll be okay," Dick mumbled, setting you on the guest room bed at Wayne manor. You had recently been kidnapped by Slade as bait. When Dick arrived, you were already bloodied and bruised.

"I'm fine," you said, sitting up, wincing as you did. "I'm Batgirl."

"Lie your ass down," Dick demanded, taking off his domino mask. You closed your mouth and relaxed against the headboard. You watched as Dick pulled out one of the first aid kits that was held in every room (due to the family's tendency to endanger themselves), his shoulders tense.

"Calm down, Cereal Boy," you said, trying to make a joke. Dick sent you a harsh look, making you sink into the bed.

Dick noticed this and his gaze softened. He sighed and sat in front of you. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I used to love the idea of you being Batgirl. I loved to work with you, but after this- a-and after what happened to Barbra and Jason-"

"Dick, listen to me," you said, now sitting right across from Dick. "I understand your fear, but I'm not Barbra or Jason, and your not Bruce. You won't give up everything for the city. And I can take care of myself."

"But-"

"No buts," you interrupted. "I'm a little bruised but alive."

"Y/N-"

You rolled your eyes before leaning forward and pressing your lips against Dick's. He stiffened but slowly leaned into it. He placed his larger hands on your shoulders as gently as he could.

"Thanks for worrying," you mumbled as you pulled away.

Jason:

You smirked as you ran across the rooftops, Red Hood and Nightwing behind you. You had taken up the mantle Catwoman for a while, because your mother had been injured fighting Batman.

You had just stolen a golden cat statue from the Penguin, who was at large.

"Is it just me, or has Catwoman gotten smaller?" Nightwing said, doing a flip and landing in front of you.

"Is it just me or is this Nightwing's hairline reseeding?" you smirked. You watched as Nightwing's face contorted into one of fear, his hands going to his hair. You took that opportunity to jump down from the building. As you fell, you felt someone wrap their arms around your waist, catching you before both of you tumbled onto one of the lower buildings.

You jumped up, seeing Red Hood across from you. "Now, let's make this easy," he said, pulling out one of his guns, which you assumed had rubber bullets. "I got a date tonight and I can't be late."

"So do I," you stated before pulling out your whip. You snapped it around Red Hood's ankle, pulling him to his back. You yanked on the whip, pulling Red Hood towards yourself. You placed one foot on his chest and the other on his wrist holding the gun. "Now tell me, what's under that hood?" You leaned down, your gloved hands running around the metal hood, searching for a way to take it off.

"Hey-" Red Hood exclaimed as you pulled off the hood. Your eyes widened as your boyfriend's face appeared. You decided to put on a fake smirk.

"What a pretty face," you said, leaning down and placing your knees on his wrists. You smirked as you pressed your lips to Jason's. You placed both of your hands on his face, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. "Hope your girlfriend doesn't mind," you whispered before jumping up. You grabbed your whip and rewrapped it before jumping off the building. You let out a breath as you landed in a dumpster.

You jumped out and began running. My boyfriend is Red Hood, you thought.

Tim:

Where is he? you thought, looking around the cafeteria. You were waiting for your best friend, Tim. He had been incredibly kind when you first arrived at school and the two of you instinctually clicked.

You sighed after waiting a few more minutes before standing up and walking into the halls. That's when you saw Tim surrounded by three bullies.

"Look at this loser," the first one said, pushing Tim back when he tried to sneak away. "Bet he's never even had a girlfriend." Tim met your eyes. He seemed less scared or intimidated and more annoyed.

"Can I just go to lunch?" he sighed.

"You could eat this," the second bully smirked, pulling out a stinky sock.

You scoffed, deciding to step in. "What are you, 5?" you said, pushing the bully's face to the side. He looked at you, extremely offended. "Come on Tim," you said, grabbing Tim's hand and beginning to pull him out from the small circle of bullies.

"Guess he can get girls to save him, but never sleep with him!" one bully yelled. You stopped, glaring at him before grabbing Tim's face and kissing him softly.

Tim panicked for a second, going stiff and not knowing what to do, but eventually placed his hands on your waist like Dick told him to when he explained how to kiss a girl.

"Come on," you grinned, pulling away.

"O-okay," Tim stuttered out before letting you lead him back into the cafeteria.

Damian:

"You're getting sloppy," Damian commented as you threw a punch at him. He had suggested a while back that you two start training together. You thought it was a great idea and would be fun. You were wrong.

"I am not," you defended, ducking as Damian threw a punch. He was going easy on you, and it annoyed you. "And don't go easy on me Damian. I'm Supergirl, I can handle it."

"I'm not going easy on you Beloved," Damian insisted, ducking down and going to trip you, but you easily flew above his foot. "Although we did agree no powers," he said, crossing his arms over his chest and looking up at your flying form.

"I'll stop using my powers when you stop going easy on me," you said, mimicking Damian's actions.

"Alright," Damian smirked, making you blush slightly. He quickly pulled out a grappling hook gun from who knows where and shot it. It wrapped around your ankle before you could fly away. Damian pulling on it, slowly pulling you down from the air until your feet touched the ground. Then, before you had time to react, he rushed forward, tripping you.

"Ow," you mumbled, looking up to see Damian pinning you to the ground with a smirk. "I knew you were going easy on me." Damian smiled slightly, admiring you. "Can you let me up now?" you asked, you face flushing pink at the newfound attention.

"Try and get out," Damian stated, apparently unsatisfied. You sighed before an idea popped into your mind. You leaned up, pressing your lips to Damian's. His eyes widened, unsure of what to do. He racked his brain for what Dick had told him to do in the stupid 'what if someone kisses you' talks. You then leaned back down.

"I'm sorry," you said, worried about Damian's reaction.

Damian stared at you before leaning down and recapturing your lips. You quickly reacted, lifting your head up to get a better angle.

You felt Damian's grip loosen as you continued and tried to slip your wrists from his grip, only from Damian to grab them again and press them to the floor.

"So close," he teased, pulling away slightly.

You rolled your eyes.

"SWEET JESUS!" Dick's voice yelled from the side, making you and Damian turn your heads. All of Damian's brothers stood there, staring at the two of you. Dick seemed horrified, Jason seemed both impressed and proud and Tim just looked confused. "YOU TWO NEED HOLY WATER!" Dick screeched, rushing forward and pouring his water on the both of you.

"Grayson!"

Terry:

"Terry," you said, looking up from your book as Terry walked into the living room of Wayne Manor.

"Hey Baby," Terry said, approaching you. "Where's the old man?"

"At some charity event," you stated, returning your attention to your book. Terry sat next to you, staring at you.

"What are you reading?" he asked.

"Y/f/b," you answered, turning a page.

"Well, can we do something together?" Terry questioned.

"After I'm done reading," you shrugged him off. Terry glanced at the book, raising an eyebrow at how much you still had left. He pushed the book down slightly, making you scowl at him. "Terry, I told you-"

Terry leaned forward, kissing you gently. You pushed him away. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked, staring at you with a hurt expression.

"I said after my book," you said, going back to y/f/b.

These aren’t fantastic- but thank you for reading

I take requests btw! <3

I take requests for the following fandoms:

Demon Slayer

Haikyuu

Hunter x Hunter

My Hero Academia

Studio Ghibi films

IT (the films and book)

Percy Jackson

Marvel

Umbrella Academy

Harry Potter

Star Wars

Most Actors (not a fandom, I know)

Rise of the Guardians

Disney (some people like reading Disney character x reader things)

I do fluff, smut, lime and angst.

#BatFam #batfamily #Damian Wayne #damian x reader #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #terry mcginnis #dick grayson x y/n #jason todd x reader #tim drake x reader #terry mcginnis x reader #preferences #kiss kiss

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ask-chain-and-glitch · 2 months

Text

You know whenever Austin get mad they get real scary? Yeah here yall fuckers go

And yes...I have returned...

BACK WITH MORE HUMOR, ANGST, FLUFF, CHECKPOINT FAN STORIES AND DAD JOKES BABY!

EndKing! Steve AU

Chapter 19

Found...

.....

Narrator pov:

But,...doesn't she know about Steve's disappearance?...

She just hopes Steve couldn't back safely...

...

Safely?...think again...

...

With Chris and Austins house...

Austin pov:

I woke up to see Chris just...gone? He's probably in the lab- labrotor...labr...Laboratory! Yes, Laboratory

(hey...let's brighten up the mood up here a little alright?)

I went downstairs to check if there was anything, all that there was is just a Sunnyside up, it had a smiling face on it, I giggled at this thought it was a little funny before eating it.

Austin: Dad(Chris)makes the greatest breakfast ever!

...

...wait...what did I just call Chris?....I was gathering my thoughts trying to process what I just said, untill...

I heard the door creek open

....

Arnetta: Austin did you just called Chris 'dad'?

Arnetta was at the door just there waiting for my response

Austin:n-nothing! It was nothing!

I was embarrassed

Arnetta: really? Because the last time I checked you called Chris 'dad'

I was even more embarrassed! Arnetta was teasing me at this point, soon after, she was mocking me

Austin:sh-shut up...

It was getting annoying at this point

Arnetta: ohhh~? What if I don't?

She began mocking me again telling me that she'll tell Chris about it

(Gezz...I'm fine if I get called dad but eh)

Austin: shut up...

Her voice began to ringing in my ears,

...

Austin: I said SHUT UP.

(No rude feelings ok?)

I screamed, rage coursing through my veins.

(Kinda cringe- ok)

Arnetta: ok ok gezz...

I sighed as I continued to eat my breakfast, before she asked

Arnetta: also, Austin is Chris here?

Austin: he's probably in his lab- labro...labrotor...

Arnetta: haha, it's ok Austin I'll go check on him, see you later!

She closes the door before leaving, finally I can eat my breakfast in peace, as I began to wonder...

...

...Sister...where are you?...

With Chris in his laboratory

Chris pov:

Gezz...how many old books I'd I even get?...I was looking for more things about this...'End King'...I was searching through shelf through shelf when I finally got what I needed

Chris: Gotcha!

Arnetta: hey Chris!

Chris: WHAT THE FU-

(OH HELL NO YOUR NOT-)

Before I could finish I fell from he ladder, I was caught by Arnetta before I fell to the solid ground below (fancy, yes.) I was shaking in fear after that happened

Arnetta: umm...Chris you good there?

Chris:...

Arnetta:...

Chris: what in the HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!

Arnetta: WHAT DID I DO?!

We were getting nowhere with just screaming. Before we said another word she put me down letting me stand up and grabbing the book I needed.

Chris: dont just randomly shout across the room whenever I'm doing stuff here Arnetta...

Arnetta: haha, sorry about that...

I got to my table and opend the book to the first page...

It was blank, all of it...from the front, center and end, it was nothing...I heard someone commind down on the lab, before I could open the door to the small library I have, Austin walked in

Austin: oh hey guys!

Chris: oh Austin! What are you doing here?

Arnetta: yeah aren't you supposed to play with Jellybean?

Austin: yeah...but she's asleep and doesn't wanna play right now...

Austin: also want are you guys reading?

Chris: this blank book

Arnetta: there's nothing in this thing...Chris are you sure this thing is empty?

Chris: didn't we already checked?

Austin: let me see...

Austin went closer to get a better look at the book then...

Austin: ow!

Chris: what happened?

Austin: I got cut...ow-

Chris: let me see...

Chris:...

I was at shock, I've just collected a book that dated back to who knows when?!

Narrator pov:

Chris found the book back a few years back, it was inside a cave in a snowy mountain a few kilometers out of town, the book was left in a small makeshift chair?...

(idk anymore I'm loosing braincells by the second)

The chair was small that's for sure, it wasn't a throne, but the chair was made out of...it looked like a small sofa made out of straws

(Hey- this guy is like- back when the Sage was still alive ok? There really old ik)

...

Once they were almost done reading the journal

(and almost I mean they didn't understand as single shitty thing because all of the words were writen in enchantment book letters)

Creeeeeeek~

.....

But Austin should have been more cautious of the things around them, above and around....the ones across reality

...

As the room becomes silent...the figure had showed up...

???? Pov:...

????: Haha....

...

found you.

End of chapter 19...

First chapter/previous/next

Whoooooooo! I'm back in business baby! LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

WHO SAID THAT THIS STORY WAS OVER?!

THIS STROY AINT ENDING YET THATS WHAT I'LL TELL YALL FUCKS

#my shit #my brain go brrrrr #checkpoint:stm #Arnetta #chris checkpoint #Austin checkpoint #austin #chris #EndKing!Steve AU #my au #THIS AU AINT DONE YET YOU FUCKS #THIS AU AINT DEAD EITHER

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