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addelaidesupreme · 2 months

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I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.

I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.

I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.

I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.

I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.

I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.

I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.

I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.

I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.

#trans woman #trans pride #trans #lgbt #lgbtq #addies high thoughts #transgender #pre op mtf #post op mtf #mtf trans #mtf girl #mtf hrt #trans hrt #hrt #trans rights #transmysogyny

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jinnie-ret · 7 months

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im not sure if this is an ask but ive been thinking about skz with a younger sister reader who debuts as an idol !! imagine her being in newjeans since skz already enjoy their songs (looking at changbin and lee know 👀) I think it would be so cute !! them cheering her on and singing her songs at award shows !! or even them mcing together or meeting at isac 💗💕💖

its just something I wanted to share and I enjoy your posts so much I thought I would drop it here to see what you think 😭😭💗 feel free to write about it tho if you would like !!! 🫶🫶

so say it ditto

stray kids x sister!reader

genre: fluff

content warnings: none

word count: 0.7k

summary: the boys support their sister's venture in joining newjeans

I hope you enjoy! Sorry it's a little bit crappy haha, but if you did enjoy or wanna be added to my taglist then let me know! :)

MAIN MASTERLIST

Being the youngest of your siblings, and all of your older brothers having debuted in a Kpop group together, called Stray Kids, you had definitely felt the pressure to debut. Your family was complicated, yes, with your mum having multiple different partners in the past, the reason why most of your siblings had different surnames, sans a few of you.

Meaning Lee Know's dad had been out of the picture until your mother rekindled her relationship with him and that's how Felix came about. But she had been staying with your dad, the one you shared with Jeongin, and you think she was settled now.

With this stability it felt like the pressure lessened yet you wanted to show your brothers too that you could do what they do. You could copy them. You could imitate them. Like ditto.

They were so proud when you debuted in NewJeans, alongside your fellow members, Hanni, Haerin, Minji, Danielle and Hyein. They'd be constantly sending messages to their fans over bubble and texting you directly as well about how excited they were for you.

Some fans thought that it had been done on purpose. You were already known in the public eye as Stray Kid's younger sister, but now you had created an image for yourself. And quite frankly, with how viral your songs had gone, you didn't need that label attached to you to be successful.

And your brothers never failed in reminding you just how viral your songs were. Whether it was through tiktoks they uploaded or if it was clips you had seen of them singing karaoke. Not to mention the videos they'd send into the groupchat.

"Cuz I-I-I-I! Know what you like boy!!!" Changbin yelled into his phone, before Lee Know and Han came up behind him in the video and screamed the second line.

"Thank you, brothers, I can no longer hear," you deadpanned into your own phone camera as you sent back a video of your own, which was meant with either laughing messages or mocking ones.

But those are brothers for you.

You couldn't even avoid their teasing when you were working too. You were MCing for Music Bank, where they had just performed their new song 'S-CLASS'. And now it was time for you to interview them.

"Welcome back to Music Bank! We're joined with Stray Kids who just performed their new song, 'S-CLASS', here they are, jaaa," you introduced them and made a cute little awkward sound, one that resembled Seungmin's 'Staaa'.

Chan and Felix, who were stood right next to you, did their best to muffle their laughs as the camera panned to them. You were thankful for that because it meant you could fan your flustered face.

"Jaaa, 1, 2, 3. Step out! We are Stray Kids!" Chan led your brothers into their introduction, making fun of the little sound you made.

"Hyunjin ssi," you began professionally, making the others gasp.

"Ssi? I'm your brother!" Hyunjin gasped, and you looked panicked at the camera before seeing the crew laughing as well.

"Yahhhhh! They pranked me saying I needed to be formal!" you whined as you crouched down with your cue cards.

"Ok, let's try this again, welcome Stray Kids oppas!!" you smile this time and the interview went much more smoothly, yet you still sighed with relief once it was over. It had been even more difficult this time as you were handling it on your own without your usual co-host.

"Wow that was the hardest interview I've ever done! And we've had all of Seventeen sunbaenim here," you rested your hands on your hips as you looked up sternly at your brothers from backstage.

"Just because our little Y/Nnie was nervous," Seungmin ruffled your hair, making you groan as you pushed him away.

"Hey, hey, she's still new to all this," Felix helped you flatten out your hair.

"I'm doing good though, right?" you looked up hopefully, not joking around this time and wanting their approval.

"Are you kidding me? Of course you are!" Han burst out.

"Your songs are so addictive as well, you're really going on a good path here," Changbin nodded as well.

"We're all proud of you," Jeongin nodded patting you on the shoulders.

"You're doing so great," Lee Know nodded too.

And that was exactly what you needed. Even though it was an awkward funny interview, having their reassurance meant the world to you.

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky

#skz #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids #skz fluff #skz angst #straykids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #skz fic #skz sister #stray kids sister

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maaarshieee · 1 year

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ah yes, I see, you asked for scaramouche requests.

y/n is a devoted follower of the Electro Archon, and SCARAMOUCHE well... the puppet of the Electro Archon. The puppet became friends with y/n and became vulnerable when he's with them. He felt like he didn't need to act tough when he's in front of them.

BUT WHEN SCARA WAS DISCARDED, Y/N WITNESSED IT AND WAS SHOCKED. They didn't believe that the Archon would do something like that. still, they took scara

y/n decided to confront her god and asked why she did that. When they found out the reason why... They were torn whether to stay with scara or still be a follower of the archon...

WELL SOMETHING LIKE THAT AJWKWNDBWJNS

-weekly anon except it's not a week since i last sent one...

⎯⎯ ୨ 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐟𝐬 ୧ ⎯⎯

➢ Kᴜɴɪᴋᴜᴢᴜsʜɪ x Gɴ!Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

➢ 1.6k ᴡᴏʀᴅs ┊ Hᴜʀᴛ/ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛ-ɪsʜ

➢ Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

a/n - I LITERALLY BURST OUT LAUGHING WHEN I SAW IT WAS YOU, WEEKLY ANON. HI THERE! I'm sorry but you haven't reached a week yet. tut tut. and yet ive only rewarded you with writing this... sigh. NOT MY FAULT YOU GIVE GOOD ONES. ANYWAYS, as punishment, just get a drabble 😤😤/lh, this reminds of my scara series i ought to finish writing, hope you don't mind me changing the prompt a little 🤧🤧 but this is kinda half assed idk titled "beliefs"! have a good day/night

↬ cw: slight obsession (reader), references to religious trauma

A devotee to Eternity herself, you've been following her for as long as you could remember. So much so, you've been graced by her excellency's presence multiple times before and earned yourself a high position in the Grand Narukami Shrine, vowing to yourself to serve the Shogun till your last breath.

It wasn't like you wanted to. Your family was exceptionally known for being long-term followers of the Raiden Shogun. You didn't have a choice. So you delusion yourself that yes, this is what you wanted. Nothing something you were coerced to do.

Well, that is until you met her creation.

When you first saw him, you were knocked off your feet. Literally. By the last steps of Narukami Shrine, you were merely sweeping clear of sakura petals that began to fall from its branches, you were minding your business when you heard footsteps nearing the shrine. Putting up a half smile, you raised your head to greet whoever came to visit the shrine but when your eyes landed on the new figure approaching you, you froze.

What caught your immediate attention were his eyes. Vibrant and full of life, curiosity, and awe to the world laid before him. A gorgeous deep shade of purple with faintly visible crackles of electricity dancing in his round eyes. You were so captivated by his eyes that you failed to notice Lady Yae walking beside him, as well as the fact that you were not at the bottom of the stairs just yet, merely close to it.

So you fell when you took a subconscious step forward and hit the stone path headfirst. Hard.

"Oh my!" You heard Lady Yae gasp, nearing your fallen body. It was only then you realized the head shrine maiden was present and you completely ignored her existence until you heard her speak. "Are you alright?" She asks, a glint of amusement in her eyes as she glanced at the nervous puppet hiding behind her, but more concerned at your well-being.

Quickly getting back up on your feet, you wobbled slightly as you stood, dizzy, but you managed to bow respectfully at her. She kindly asked for you to raise your head and examined the throbbing bump on your forehead. "You should be more careful there, especially when there's someone new visiting." Yae Miko teased the already flustered servant before her, greeting the puppet with a red face.

Up close, their breath was swept away once more. His features resembled her excellency, but it was more... ethereal, you dare say. You had to hold yourself back from opening your mouth in awe the longer you observed him, from head to toe.

"Isn't it quite rude to stare?" Lady Yae spoke up once more, startling you from your awestruck stupor, almost dropping the broom you held in your hands. Finally noticing the nervous and uncomfortable expression he wore on his fair face, brows creased and lips tucked into a frown, you gasped.

Bowing to the puppet, you apologized profusely.

That first silly impression of you was enough to intrigue him. While he was skittish around you for the first few times, he grew fond of you in the long run. You were friendly, showing him around the shrine when Yae first introduced the place to him. You spoke with high respect towards the Raiden Shogun, often teaching him things he never knew about her, and even taught him more about human nature.

From sweeping the floors of the shrines with you, cooking food even though he couldn't taste, nor consume mortal delicacies, and many more. The more time he spent with you, the more he felt himself grow comfortable with his sense of self, comfortable being with you. The world didn't seem so terrifying and confusing with you by his side.

He felt as if he was just a mere human. Free from what he's supposed to be, and able to breathe in the fresh air he could only feel between his fingertips. When you genuinely smile at him, laugh so freely around him, grab his hand and run through the sakura trees surrounding the Narukami Shrine, and call him adorable nicknames...

You fill his hollow chest with such warmth and emotions he never felt before, he could've sworn he felt a faint strum of a rhythmic beating in his chest, but only with you. For you.

The doll you've befriended would visit quite often. It would always brighten your days from then on once he took a step onto the stairs of the shrine. Once you'd felt Lady Yae's presence, there was also your dearest friend beside her.

So you dropped the wet cloth you used to clean the wooden floors of the shrine and quickly got up to your feet, rushing towards the entrance with a big grin on your face.

But you only saw Lady Yae, whom you bowed to respectfully. Although something bothered you with the way she looked at you. Her eyes were gentler than usual, a small, solemn smile on her lips as she approached you. An unsettling feeling settled at the bottom of your abdomen.

Worried, you asked about his whereabouts.

So now you're in this predicament. Silently packing your things into a small pouch, lips pressed into a thin line as you began to question yourself.

You swore loyalty to the Shogun until your untimely death. To serve her with your whole heart, to worship the concept of her existence, to glorify her name. But the time you spent with him fills you with more happiness and clarity than you've ever had when you simply prayed inside the shrine.

You wanted to be with him more than you wanted to serve Eternity herself. It left a bitter taste in your mouth. Since youth, she was your sole purpose of existence. Your goals were meant for her, your life was meant for her.

How a puppet of her's managed to break your will so easily puzzles you, but you couldn't be more sure of yourself. You gripped the pouch you held and dusted off your shrine clothing, strengthening your resolve.

To throw one's beliefs away will never be simple. Teachings engraved in one's mind will never fade, and faith will never be destroyed so easily. But a simple step away from your god, straying away from divinity will be enough to break away from its shackling chains.

The Electro Archon be damned! The moment she threw him away, your Eternity was the Shogun no more, but the puppet Lady Yae described as disaster soon to unfold.

While the uncertainty made you feel scared, you stepped outside of the shrine.

Fine then, a disaster you say? You huffed, letting the pinkish petals fall into your open palm, admiring the serenity night brings. You will stay with disaster, for he made your heart, once more, beat with a sense of freedom. No longer weighed down by the beliefs your lineage thrust upon your birth.

You awaited his wake in Shakkei Pavilion, keeping the dust away from his flawless, porcelain skin, wiping away the stray tears that fell from his closed eyes. Around his body were multiple trinkets you'd bought for him. Things he hadn't seen before, books he hadn't read, and rather expensive artifacts from different countries.

It felt like you were giving him offerings, in hopes he'd wake up soon.

During his slumber, slowly but surely, you've found yourself a new belief. A new sense of purpose. A purpose that didn't make you feel like the eyes of your parents stabbing behind your back, judging your every move. Where ever he would go, once he awakens, you will follow him.

Who knows? Maybe he'll make himself a god. That's certainly a religion you'd prefer to pray to.

In the meantime... Watching him peacefully sleep on your lap, chest slowly rising and falling even if he needn't breathe. The light seeping through the cracks of the walls paints his fair skin, highlighting his hair beautifully; he truly looked like a god. It was enough to quell the restlessness of your mind.

If you want to be tagged in future works, fill out this form to be added to my taglist! Remember that usernames are only lowercase and have no spaces!

Taglist: @anniejourn, @dilucssiliconedildo, @achlysyo, @sunoo-bby, @iyagato, @randomidk-123, @kujobug

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#scaramouche x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #:;marshie.writes #:;requested #:;drabble #:;kunikuzushi.scaramouche.wanderer #:;weekly.anon

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rivetgoth · 1 year

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Not to shame some baby bats but oh man am I tired of seeing online newcomers to the industrial scene not being able to conceptualize the musicians as actual real living people who have endured real hardship and instead fandomizing them and treating them like silly little characters. And I’m not even talking about like real person fiction I’m talking stuff like making extremely inappropriate jokes at the expense of the musicians, often to their damn faces. Just saw someone tag Ogre’s personal Instagram in a joke about Al Jourgensen’s IV drug use. What the fuck is wrong with you. I still like see red with anger when I remember stumbling into someone’s Nivek Ogre roleplay blog where they used DRG’s OVERDOSE as a point of drama IN THEIR KINK ROLEPLAY. I fucking hope none of you watch your loved ones fall apart and eventually die from drug addiction or god forbid suffer from it yourself. And it’s not just that; I’ll never forget when those posts about Skuppy’s music being used at Gitmo were circulating as if it was just some quirky thing. Posts like “lol imagine being a war prisoner and suddenly Assimilate starts playing” as if that shit doesn’t suck hardcore and wasn’t the absolute antithesis of what Skinny Puppy has always fought for which is pacifism and equality and the end of war and violence and brutality. The people being tortured at Gitmo are real people and Skinny Puppy was reasonably devastated by the situation. Spamming public tags on IG with terminally online often very sexual jokes about these guys, me having to wade through “I want Raymond Watts to vore me XD jdhgdkdksjdh” in the damn KMFDM tag. Seeing a 17 year old comment on a popular musician’s selfie in eyeliner saying he looked “queer” and being like “I just know you don’t use he/him pronouns” like that shit IS WEIRD. THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE!!

IDK man. This is not a fandom, it is a real community that these guys are part of. I am friends with some of these musicians and/or their friends IN REAL LIFE because I live in the same city as them and go to the same events as them. I haven’t done anything special other than be around them and be chill. Tons of them are my Facebook friends or my mutuals on Instagram or they’re my friends’ Facebook friends and mutuals on Instagram. I’ve had some of my favorite musicians follow me back COMPLETELY unexpectedly. I’ve heard “I recognize you from online” when I’ve met some of my favorite people in the scene, even if we hadn’t directly interacted before… MULTIPLE times. I’ve made posts about a band and then saw the fucking band repost it to a different site. I’ve seen my blog get linked in the official Skinny Puppy group that the band moderates. I also know like three separate situations where somebody’s publicly posted RPF was SENT TO THE BAND MEMBERS. I’m relatively neutral (or at least have a lot of nuance) about RPF but some fucking self awareness would be nice; these guys are NOT that “famous,” they are actively running their social media pages, they don’t have PR guys, they are lurking social media, interacting with fans, their friends are normal people in the scene. It just feels so disrespectful and out of touch. Did you know that one time somebody made a joke about Ogre being on drugs in the Skinny Puppy Facebook group and Ogre himself logged in for the first time in awhile to say it wasn't funny and was painful for him to see NOT because of his own past with drugs but because it reminded him of the amount of friends he’s had die from addiction and overdose? That was a real moment that happened. It isn’t funny.

I just keep seeing this breed of newcomers who get super into the identity of being “an industrial fan” (usually with all these edgy extras like “fucked up sicko dykefag rivethead freak”) who are coming into it straight out of like, the Danganrompa or Saw or whatever fandom and cannot conceptualize the fact that this isn’t a “fandom,” they don’t know how to talk about it like it’s not a fandom, they talk about how the musicians are “so old now” which is just so insulting (you should be BEGGING the universe to be so kind as to allow you to live to be grey and wrinkly and still making art that you love!) or make jokes at the expense of the traumas they’ve endured, they don’t seek out more obscure or more recent or more local music even though THAT is what is keeping the scene alive. it has real life spaces that the musicians they’re idolizing are frequenting and it is very very obvious that they are not going outside or engaging with the scene at all, they aren’t viewing it as this huge community of people who are all congregating together over their love for this music. They’re treating the musicians like these crazy characters but they are real people and their traumas and struggles and “weird” behavior is what brought them to this type of music to begin with! They’re making posts about how musicians just aren’t “weird” anymore while completely ignoring the decades of recent incredible music from artists trying desperately to survive in this world IN THE SCENE THEY CLAIM TO BE PART OF!! You are not a depraved freak punk rivethead faggot you are a 20 year old introvert that listens to NIN, KMFDM, and Skinny Puppy while not supporting the scene in any tangible way whatsoever and talking about the people who created the genre like they’re commodifiable fictional characters. And it’s not a question of “you don’t listen to enough music to be legit!” I love baby bats and newcomers and I absolutely adore seeing people get into this music and find solace and community within it. Industrial music saved my life and I was once the newcomer just discovering this stuff. it’s a question of “you are being disrespectful and out of touch while acting like you know what more than you really do.” Go out to a goth club. Talk to people. Sing along in a crowd to your favorite songs. Type in Bandcamp Dot Com right now and discover a new artist. Buy an album and tip them. That r/LSD comment where the guy said “keep it chill or suffer the consequences.”

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brrrkdslek · 10 months

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QUADRILATERAL LOVE!

✦ 007 — POOKIE BEAR😍🫶🏻🫧

you walked towards the garden that is connected to the hospital, boomi clung onto your arm with his left arm while he held onto the IV pole with his right hand.

you had admitted him into an expensive hospital with a vip room, which was why there was barely any people in the garden and in the hospital in general.

you had a big smile spread across your face as you listened to your little ramble on about the hospital life. you had always looked up to him,

how he could be so optimistic even through such hard times. how he could smile so happily and never get bored of this place, "noona what have you been up to?"

you both sat at the large wooden swing bench, "hm, not much. just the usual stuff y'know?" you smiled as you ruffled his hair.

he giggled, "oh right! your performance for inkigayo was so cool, it was so fun to watch!" he stood up, "it was so amazing, you went like this and like that—"

he imitated your dance choreography stiffly, "—like it was so fast, i couldn't even keep up!" at this point the boy was getting weird looks with how loud he was being as he jumped up and down.

you watched the boy sympathetically, the red spots ran down his neck and under his hospital gown. you imagined how much faster he would've healed if you had taken him to a hospital when he was younger.

you worked as a bar's bartender ever since you were 14 to provide for you and himself, ever since your father left when you were 5, your mother became mentally unstable.

she would often zone out and would be insensitive from time to time. it was around the time she lost her job due to stress when you started working instead, trying your best to understand and sympathise with your mother.

soon after, boomi was diagnosed with leukemia after showing signs of multiple symptoms. he was bedridden and seldomly went outside, you on the other hand applied to KQ and became a trainee.

the main reason was because of your brother. you found enjoyment in rapping and dancing along the way of being a trainee, and had multiple jobs as baristas during your free time.

you were delighted when you were informed that you were gonna debut with your friends. during this time you worked extra hard to repay all the trainee debt that have piled up, while paying for your brother's hospital fees.

soon after you started receiving money did you transfer your brother to the hospital he currently resided in. the service was better and there were few people which lowered his nerves.

your heart ached every time you're reminded of his painful cries, skinny body and red spots that littered all over his body.

you never felt the need to tell anyone, until chaewon asked about any siblings you had. chaewon was somebody you trusted with your entire heart, that day you spilled everything and cried your heart out.

you two formed an even closer bond after that. you never wanted people to pity or think you were weak so you tried your best to hide any information on your background.

you teared up as you watched your now happy little brother jump around in excitement as he talked about the park just down the street.

"noona...? why are you crying..." boomi sat down and held your hand in his, you looked down to see the iv that was stuck in his veins. you cried more at that.

"i'm sorry... boomi-ah, i'm sorry i can't ever give you the life you want—" you looked up at him and cupped his cheeks as his own tears started welling up in his eyes.

"—you can't ever get you to school, make friends, you can't even get out of this place because i was too late... if only i had sent you here sooner maybe you wouldn't still be sick."

your breathe was shaky as you stroked his now tear-stained cheeks, "if only i worked harder, tried harder. if only i was better back then, as good as i am now... i hate seeing you like this, you're my everything—"

you ran your hand across the red spots that grew on his neck, so close to his jawline. the boy cried as he buried himself in your neck, hugging you tightly.

"—i would kill myself if you died, how could i live with myself if y-"

"no! do-don't say that, noona... my life is great already, i'm still alive and you're still here with me. this is all i can ever ask for!"

you look up to the sky for a minute, stroking his hair with one hand while the other held him closely, but gently. as if he was glass, fragile and could break whenever.

he was right. all you ever had was each other, he was your motivation, your inspiration, your everything. it was absolute the moment you held him in your arms after he was born, the way he looked up at you with those pretty doe eyes, it made you smile.

"sorry, love. i won't talk about it anymore, m'kay?" you held his face out and wiped the stray tears that are still rolling down his cheeks. "i'm sorry... don't cry anymore, okay? i promise i'll live a long life, with or without you."

boomi finally showed a smile at that, "okay! then i'll also try to live a long life, so i can be with you forever, noona!" you two giggled and cuddled again.

you both cuddled on the bench for a few more hours, enjoying the silence in each other's arms. that's what you had always needed to relieve your stress, everything that had built up until that moment were all forgotten the moment he was in your arms.

you woke up after a while and carried him back to his room. you tucked him in and put his 7 years old bear plush, that you got him for his birthday, in his arms.

you gave him a goodnight kiss and picked up your bag. just as you were about to leave, a small hand yanked at your sleeve, "noona... can you stay, until i fall asleep again?"

he smiled shyly as you let out a breathy laugh and pulled the chair towards his bedside, holding his hand as he got comfortable again.

you sat in silence, only stroking his har and humming soft tunes to the boy. when you heard his soft snores, you got your things, gave him one final forehead kiss and started heading back to the dorms.

<PREV𖤐NEXT>

©BRRRKDSLEK 2023

#ateez smau #seonghwa x reader #hongjoong x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez

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swiftfootedachilles · 6 months

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Omg please spill the tea because I have the same strife !! Which mischaracterizations ?! 👀

girl i literally cant to that publicly i would get blackballed by the popular blogs. the fics and posts ive made have already flopped HARD and im rejection sensitive i actually dont know what i would do if popular blogs stopped interacting with me entirely 😭 im being so fr right now some of my opinions would have me sent to fandom prison 😭

but i will say that a lot of it is people like..... blatantly ignoring things that are canon. and if you know me you know i dont think canon is perfect! like i actively ignore the fact that writers made gallavich verse, i am not saying we have to conform to canon! but there are things we see characters say and do multiple times across many seasons, and a huge part of the fandom has just.... collectively decided to ignore it

i guess ill give one hot take as an example: "ian fell first but mickey fell harder" im sorry but i do believe this quote to be accurate because mickey had much more to lose by coming out. "fell harder" doesnt refer to him being more in love with ian, it refers to how much the realization of being in love effected his life. he nearly died, was brutally sexually assaulted, forced into an arranged marriage with his rapist (i use that term loosely when referring to svetlana, because it was moreso terry raping mickey by proxy), forced to raise a child and be reminded every second of every day that he was assaulted, had the shit beat out of him in public, just overall treated so inhumanely by terry. ian simply did not experience such homophobic abuse his from family. and - whether we like it or not - we cant ignore the vile shit ian said in mickeys absence in s6 onward. he laughed about mickey being raped. yes i think the writers completely missed the mark by doing that, but im not someone who can just ignore that he bad talked mickey several times. i think its a shame to ignore that this happened, because it does add so much complexity to his character. like i could write a whole essay on ian in the middle seasons and how his canon treatment of mickey (both when mickey was in prison and in s7e11+12) makes him more complex than the fandom wants to believe..... plus the whole 87% thing. like i love ian but he canonically does and says very bad and mean things, and thats part of WHY i love him. i love characters who are bad people. being a bad character and being a bad person are two completely different things and people dont wanna believe that bc they see ian as ~perfectly imperfect~

on a similar note...the way people mischaracterize debbie as evil is so fucking stupid - and i truly believe its ableism because they demonize her (imo) bpd symptoms

#that was a lot sorry for the wall of text #im very bad at explain this stuff over typing i need to figure out how to make audio posts on here #or just start a damn podcast i love talking fr #shameless #anonymous #asks

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okay-j-hannah · 1 year

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Hii hannah! I'm bout three months late because i had exams going on, well, I still have exams going on but I decided to not procrastinate and just write this.

Thank you so so much for writing my tenth doctor and rory requests. you don't know how much it means that you took time out of your life to write my requests. when I first started watching Doctor who, barely a season in, i stumbled upon your blog and read your dying girl story, i didn't even know anything properly bout doctor's character or other companions but your fic though! it captured doctor's character so well! It was in May I read it and started watching the show and I now always connect that time with doctor who and you and your fics haha.

I got so obsessed that I made this dying girl reader universe in my head with headcanons and stuff and started associating songs to the reader and fic ; i know they are like kinda popular cliche songs but snowman by sia and never be the same by camila cabelo really reminds me of the amy and rorys wedding scene with reader and doctor dancing (was it real or I made that up in my head?) and memory of reader practising mind reading thing and seeing memories of Doctor and she's like who's this beautiful person in his memories and doctor is like that's you love <3 moonlight serenade, spring waltz, we'll meet again, moon river, across the universe are some other songs I associate with them,, you didn't even ask for playlist but here I'm sharing it just because lmao

and then you wrote my ten request and added it dying girl universe, when I tell you actually started screaming from excitement when I saw it! I really wasn't expecting it, i was so so happy! And Idk why but I just feel so honoured that my request was added into the "official" dying girl universe masterlist! and the rory fic too, it was so sweet! you wrote it exactly as what I had in my mind when I sent you request, tysm for that!

Ngl I always checked your page once in a while when you were on break because I just looked forward to your writing so much and in January, around my birthday, found out you were active again and posted my requests and gotta say, best birthday gift even if it technically wasn't lol. I wonder if you've finished twelve's episodes, you mentioned how it is hard to "let go" of a doctor and I completely agree, I finishesed twelfth doctors episodes in December and God was it hard to say goodbye to him, I know I can rewatch but it won't be like first time :'( you know, the "i love my current doctor so much" feeling?

I've started thirteen but it doesn't feel the same, especially without murray gold's music and well, moffat and rtd. so glad that rtd is coming back for new seasons though!

Oh and have you read love is a choice fic on tumblr? it's a mostly eleven but also kinda thirteen x reader multiple parts series and tbh, one of the only fic that made me laugh and cry like dying girl series did. if you haven't i hope you check it out, it's a great read!

Kinda unrelated but can I just say ty to that person who sent you ask related to will turner, i recently watched one of the potc movie for the first time because i thought the will turner guy looked cute from the ask and now ive fallen down a rabbit hole lol I finished your will turner fics and now im searching up tumblr for more will turner x reader, it seems he's my new hyperfixation 😭 anyways ty again to that person and you ofc for the fics, and this is not a official request(it could be ig) but I hope you write second part to the merchant/pirate will fic!

And I've sent you two requests this time too, hope you'll like them enough to write it! I know I've said it lot in this single ask but Again thank you so much for everything and it's great to have you back on here and I hope you enjoyed your break, remember to take them again if you need to <333

My darling, my dearest, my love, you're making my heart so so happy!

I love that you took off with the Dying Girl universe because honestly that's what it became for me while I was writing it. It became so big I knew I could write so much about what happens in between the parts, and your request fit perfectly there.

Thank you for the playlist 😂 it does kind of bring the characters more to life when you associate them with things like songs. And you definitely didn't make up the wedding dancing scene, that happened in Part 6: The Lost Shoes!

I totally understand finding yourself fully immersed in a story, even if it is fanfiction. When that happens to me I just write and post it on here 😅 That's happened with the Dying Girl and the episodic series I started for the Eleventh Doctor and the Samwise Gamgee series and this Mandalorian one I'm starting.

My brain is hardwired to come up with these random tangents to canon stories, and they end up becoming these elaborate fanfictions.

I'm so glad you liked your requested fics! I had a lot of fun writing them. The Domestic fic was so fun to get back into the Dying Girl universe. I wouldn't mind writing more about their in between adventures. Happy belated birthday!

I have not finished twelves episodes - I'm still on his last season. Just like I wrote on our last conversation, I'm terrified of how sad I'll feel when he leaves because ten and eleven were real heartbreakers. I agree, I love him, and I'm so excited you requested something for him.

And I'm also so stoked for the new seasons with RTD and the 60th specials with ✨David Tennant✨ I'll have to finish twelve and thirteen before that comes out at the end of this year.

I haven't read "Love is a Choice" but I immediately looked it up and added it to my likes, so perhaps it'll be the fanfics I read when I try to sleep tonight lol

And I'm sorry... you hadn't seen any of the Pirates of the Caribbean!? I've been watching those movies since I was like seven! It's such a great fandom and Jack Sparrow is such a mood and Will Turner is such a dreamboat.

I'm almost honored that my blog prompted you to watch such an excellent franchise. I also hyperfixate on new characters and fandoms I love. I do have one request in my inbox for Will Turner and I've gotten multiple messages to write a part 2 for A Merchant Sailor, so perhaps when I finish this batch of requests I'll add it to the list.

So do expect more Will Turner fics to come 😘

I love that we have this little pen pal relationship where we just write each other letters 😂 It's honestly really good to hear from you, mysterious anon. I'm happy to have you as a reader and fandom friend.

Thank you for reaching out! I definitely love your requests! It'll just take me a while to get to all of them with my busy schedule, but I will write them in due course.

Have a lovely night and a good morning!

Prologue: The Dying Girl

Part 1: The Sun God

Part 2: The Tonic

Part 3: The Ending Song

Domestic: The Doctor returns to spend a few ‘human’ days with you {Set during Part 3}

Part 4: The Dream

Part 5: The Regeneration

Part 6: The Lost Shoes

Epilogue: The Vanishing Act

Finale: All Of Time And Space

A Merchant Sailor: Pretending to be a merchant, you befriend Will Turner as you keep your pirating a secret, until your brother forces you to reveal the truth

Blacksmith’s Hands: While visiting Tortuga, you find yourself injured and in the capable hands of a shy Will Turner

Lovey Dovey: Jack has never been overjoyed at the thought of you and your boyfriend - especially when you’re kissing on his ship

Sea Salt: On a mission to get you back, more might happen between you two than expected

#tenth doctor x reader #eleventh doctor x reader #twelfth doctor x reader #will turner x reader #okayjhannah question #okayjhannah #anon ask okay j hannah #okayjhannah answer #okay j hannah #hannahbeartalks #fandomfantasia

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merakiui · 1 year

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one thing to note about the tweels that i really like is how floyd=🦈 jade=🐬. sharks are usually depicted as these monstrous creatures whereas we see dolphins in a kinder light but its quite the opposite, as far as my memory serves me. especially their teeth too! jades are small sharp, floyds are big sharp. ok now as im writing this it kinda feels like ive already sent something similar..

Putting the reply under the cut because it became long again. ^^;;;

Yes!! Jade looks and acts harmless, but he can be quite dangerous when he needs to be. It's like that advice they tell you when you encounter wild animals: appreciate from afar, but don't interfere or tread too deep into their territory. You could apply this warning to Jade because he's the one you should be most wary of out of the trio.

Floyd might seem like the walking red flag because he boasts his dangers carelessly (he even explained his unique magic in book three, which (if I remember correctly) Jade had been a little displeased with his willingness to reveal his tricks so simply). And Azul is so obviously too good to be true, so it can be easy to consider his and Floyd’s red flags (at least the ones you can see on the surface). But Jade doesn’t have any surface-level red flags. He really just seems like a boring, normal, bland guy who just happens to be Floyd’s twin. He isn’t as memorable as Floyd or Azul because he doesn’t immediately do anything that would stick in your mind.

When comparing the teeth, Jade's are thinner and more needle-like, whereas Floyd's are larger and chunkier (definitely more shark-like). Jade's teeth kind of remind me of a lamprey (more so just the small size and needle-like appearance/sharpness) while Floyd's definitely feel like a shark's teeth.

Here are some images of Jade's teeth (the Halloween card has most notable teeth shape):

And here are some images of Floyd's teeth:

The slight difference in teeth size/shape is interesting because it suits Jade and Floyd’s characters! Small teeth are easy to hide in smiles but also just as easy to tease, which is probably why Jade doesn’t fully smile as often as Floyd does. You only see him truly grin (showing his teeth) when he’s being malicious, threatening, or scheming. Then you’ll know he’s a danger. He also tends to do these little close-lipped smiles, which he then shields with his hand (usually he does it when he chuckles and he brings his hand up to his mouth as well). It’s interesting to consider because Jade doesn’t want you to know he’s menacing until you’ve fallen into his trap, and only then will he reveal the multiple dangers in his mouth.

Big teeth are a little more difficult to keep hidden, even with the smallest of smiles, but Floyd also likes to smile a lot and showcase his teeth (much like how he openly threatens to choke out students if they get on his nerves/break contract/etc). Floyd reacts swift and violently; he’s very verbal about the things he wants to do and he’ll act upon his whims right at that moment. Jade keeps his desires hidden and he builds up to it, much like how one would take steps towards well-kindled revenge. Floyd is like lightning that touches down very quickly and is over just like that. Jade is the conflagration that picks up from a tiny spark and grows in size over the course of time. It’s a build-up that’s slow at first, but becomes quick once the climax is reached and you’ll be too busy reeling with horror and the fight or flight response to look back on just how long Jade has waited and watched and planned, letting every piece fall into place.

He’s kind of like an invasive species, in a way, or ivy that takes over an abandoned house in the forest. It starts small (a single seed or one invasive pest) and it will soon multiply if not immediately dealt with. You won’t know you’ve caught Jade’s eye until it’s too late. Until you’re trapped under layers of twining ivy. Until he’s forced his way into your life and has dug poisonous roots into all of your relationships, snuffing sunlight and nutrients.

You can deal with Floyd’s dangers because they’re quick like an injection. But if you want to work out the tricks and traps Jade patiently plans, you’ll need to play sleuth. Unfortunately, that’s quite difficult because Jade will only allow you to see the things he wants you to see. He’s good at hiding things, and he’s a very patient man. Floyd can be scary with his threatening expressions, but a man who can smile even when rage boils beneath that pleasant countenance is far scarier. Floyd will tell you of all the ways he can skin you just to see you squirm. Jade will sit back and picture each way, and you won’t have a clue—certainly not when he smiles so kindly at you.

#twisted chit chat #once again please don’t mind my ramblings orz #i like to throw the eels under a microscope and study them :D

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the-sand-guardian · 9 months

Text

Chapter 2: The Three of the Hospital

Still Feel - Generation Loss

Ranboo, Sneeg, and Charlie make it safely to the hospital, though not without requiring various treatments. Charlie and Sneeg have a conversation in secret. This chapter focuses more on Charlie.

Wordcount: 1925

This is chapter two of my fic, Still Feel, also available on AO3. For chapter one, click the following link:

Ranboo was in and out of surgery for days. The buzzing of fluorescent lights stuck in Charlie’s head like a fly he couldn’t shoo away. Before he himself had been discharged, he would drag his IV with him to where Ranboo was, where he would talk to the sleeping teen and check in with the doctors on their progress. Sneeg had had it the best out of all of them, and ended up staying longer in the psych ward than in the ICU. He came to visit Charlie and Ranboo a lot as well, though he focused more on Charlie than Ranboo.

On one such visit, Sneeg had stayed as long as he was permitted to. They had talked for what must have been hours.

“How are you holdin’ up, man? You’re gonna have some sick-ass scars I’ve heard,” He asked, smiling a bit.

Charlie nodded. “I didn’t even hurt until they got Ranboo in here. I think I was running on straight adrenaline for hours…You wanna see?” He sat up with a wince before leaning back into his pillow.

“Like actually? Hell yeah I do!” Sneeg scooted a bit closer to Charlie’s bed to get a better look.

Charlie gingerly slipped his arms out of his hospital gown, revealing large claw marks that were being held together by a good few stitches. They sprawled all the way across his chest, though some had reached his biceps as well.

“Shit, man, I didn’t even realize he got you that good,” Sneeg remarked after just a moment. “I’m even more shocked they let you on with him now.”

“They said I’m lucky to have survived. I don’t actually think me or Ranboo would have if I didn’t go find you.” He put his gown back on and sighed.

“I hardly did anything, man, you had to convince me that Ran was even still alive. I’m more thankful that you found me, I don’t think I would have made it out if not.”

“We’ll call it even then,” He smiled and adjusted his glasses. “I should be out of here in a few more days, they’re giving me wraps and stuff so I don’t bleed out and everything.”

The two continued to converse for a bit before Sneeg inevitably had to leave for the “Lights Out” period of the day, a time in which Charlie dreaded tremendously. Most nights, a nurse would have to come and sit with him until he fell asleep or his screams would wake the other patients. Even when he could sleep, he would repeatedly stop breathing or breathe so fast that a nurse would have to be present anyways.

He woke night after night with his gown stuck to him with his own sweat. Other patients even spoke of him crying when he was alone for too long, mumbling incoherently under his breath. When the doctors pressed, however, he couldn’t force himself to speak. His throat ran completely dry and all he could do was shake his head. When he was discharged, the doctors gave Sneeg a rundown of what he needed each day and reminded him that Charlie needed to sleep. He was sent home with three prescriptions: Percocet, extra-strength melatonin, and Zoloft.

Ranboo was, of course, less lucky. His many surgeries required him to stay in the hospital much longer than both Sneeg and Charlie, but both were determined to be there for him every step of the way. Unlike Charlie, Ranboo spent most of their time out of surgeries completely asleep, and, once they could, they were only ever really awake to eat. It took them more than a month to be able to eat properly again, but the pain from their multiple skin grafts made it painful and difficult. Neither of his brothers ever tried to get Ranboo to speak, but both each took turns coming in and speaking to him and keeping him company.

The day Ranboo finally spoke again was a hallmark in their recovery. It was during one of the small periods they were awake, and Charlie was there to sit with them. The orange late-afternoon sun basked the room in light as it usually did, illuminating the room enough for Ranboo to make out the silhouette of flowers on his nightstand, as by this point it had been determined that their sight could only really be returned in one eye, and that procedure had yet to be done. Charlie let out a small sigh as the beams came through the vertical blinds.

“Man, I’ll never get over how pretty the sunsets are here,” He mused wistfully. “You’d love them. So many shades of orange and pink…”

Ranboo turned their head towards the window a bit and nodded before facing Charlie again. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

Charlie’s eyes widened immediately and his mouth fell open a bit. “You spoke-! I- fuck- I mean, of course man, but you-”

Ran smiled a little and nodded. Their voice was shaky and their breathing was uneven. “I’ve- I’ve been w-working on it f-f-for a bit now.”

“Can I call Sneeg? Or would that be too much for you?” He asked, pulling out his phone but waiting for an answer. “If not I can just text him and he can come in tomorrow.”

“He c’n come,” They nodded, though they had paused a second beforehand. “I’m gonna stop until he gets here.”

“That’s absolutely fine, man, you need rest” He pulled his chair to Ranboo’s bedside and gently squeezed one of their hands to let him know he was closer before phoning Sneeg. “You should come out here tonight too… He’s talking - Not just the mumbling… no- no… they’re actually talking to me.”

Somehow, Sneeg had turned an hour-long drive into 45 minutes. He power-walked through the halls and cursed out an elevator in the process, but he made it. He sat down by Ranboo’s bedside and took the hand closest to him to alert Ranboo of his arrival.

Ranboo initially jumped a bit but relaxed as he recognized the touch. “Sneeg,” He gave him a mangled smile. “You came.”

Sneeg nodded and wiped his eyes, his own voice shaking a bit. “Of course I did, kid. Hey, that rhymed-'' He gave them a watery smile. “How’re you holdin’ up today?”

Ran shakily lifted their hand and waved it in a so-so manner. “It hurts, a lot,” They shut their eyes as a dull pain shot through their head. “Everything just hurts so much all the time.”

“You’ve got your button still, you can press it whenever you need more painkillers,” Charlie chimed in, a pain rising in his own chest as he thought about all the torture his little brother had gone through already.

Ranboo shook their head. “I’m timed out. Can’t get anymore for a few more hours.” He laid back fully now, adjusting his bed to be almost completely laid down.

Sneeg looked from Ranboo to Charlie, his brows knitted together in confusion. He mouthed out the words, ‘ When did this happen?’

Charlie shrugged a bit, concern washing over his own face. ‘I have no idea, I didn’t see them press it.’

Sneeg gently rubbed the side of Ranboo’s hand with his thumb with a quiet sigh. Charlie shifted a bit and ran a hand through his own hair as both watched their sibling quietly drift to sleep. Charlie then looked up at Sneeg with a new glimmer in his eye.

“How’s it coming along?” He asked vaguely. “Better than this morning?”

Sneeg nodded. “It’s looking pretty good. I got a few more walls painted and I’m hoping to get the kitchen set up soon.”

“Really? Shit, I feel like I haven’t done anything yet…I’ll swing by IKEA tomorrow and get the room set up, that way they have somewhere proper to sleep right away. I can get some kitchen stuff too while you’re here.”

Sneeg nodded once more. “He’s gonna be so excited when he sees it, I’m sure it’s gonna look great. Before either of us leave, I want you to know something, ok?” He looked over at Charlie and fumbled with his own hoodie strings.

Charlie nodded this time. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“Do you remember Frank at all?” Sneeg shifted in his seat.

“I’m not sure…I don’t recall a Frank, no. Why?”

“So basically, Frank was this plastic skeleton, right? I don’t know where he came from but I swear, everything I was in while I was there, he was too… I found one while I was out today.”

“And you brought it home, now it’s in our living room and you don’t want me to scream when I see it?”

Sneeg let his posture fall and leaned back a bit, “You know me so well,”

Charlie gave him a gentle smile as he relaxed in his chair. “Are you staying here tonight too?”

“I can, I don’t mind either way. When’s Ran’s next surgery?”

“Here in a few days. They said they might be able to help him see again. I’m not sure how well, but hopefully it means something, y’know?” He shrugged and rubbed at his face a bit. “They have to be terrified, man. They’re just a kid. We were so scared but we’re adults and we can handle it.” Charlie covered the lower half of his face with a hand. “They’re a kid.”

“I know, man. They’re strong, but they don’t have to be anymore. We’re gonna help give him a better life, Charlie. We’re all out now, and now we can all go and try to forget any of this ever fucking happened.”

Charlie let go of Ranboo’s hand as his own began to shake. He backed away from him as his breathing shortened and his face paled. “Sneeg- Sneeg we can’t forget any of this shit- I can’t- They can’t,” He spoke quickly as his vision began to flatten.

Sneeg stood up from his chair and went over to the other. “Hey, man, it’s alright. Did you take your meds this morning? Charlie?” He gently put his hands on his rapidly rising and falling shoulders, but Charlie didn’t respond. He sat there rocking a bit before he began to shake his head.

“No, no- no no no, not like this- please, not again-” He murmured a bit, staring into the floor as tears ran down his face. “No more, I can’t handle it-”

Sneeg shook him a bit before pulling him closer. “Charlie, Charlie, it’s Sneeg. I’m here” He hugged him tight, knowing the pressure often helped to soothe him. “Nobody is going to hurt you any more.”

Charlie sniffled and choked a bit before his breathing began to slow. He relaxed into Sneeg’s hold and shut his eyes to try and continue calming himself down. “I’m sorry- I’m so sorry-'' He cried softly into his shoulder.

“It’s alright, man, you’re safe. I’m safe, Ran’s safe now too,” He kept his voice gentle and quiet as the other began to relax. “You can cry, but make sure you’re breathing.”

Charlie nodded and wiped his eyes before sitting back up from where he had slumped over. Sneeg let go of him before speaking again.

“You know I won’t make you talk about it, but whenever you need to, I’ll listen to you, ok?” He reminded Charlie. “You were whispering again. Whatever you experienced back there was serious, you can’t bottle it up forever and expect to be ok.”

Charlie shook his head and wiped his watery eyes again, unable to speak through the lump in his throat.

AN: Chapter 2! The suppourt on the last chapter has been amazing and has helped me keep my motivation so far, so I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much as you did the last! Again, comments, likes, and reblogs are much appreciated <33

#generation loss fic #generation loss #genloss #generation loss fanart #gl!ranboo #genloss fic #gl!charlie #gl!slimecicle #gl!sneegsnag #gl!sneeg #angst #hurt/comfort #panic attacks #fanfic #still feel fic

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nettheworldonfire · 2 years

Text

The post that almost wasn’t...

I started writing this post in April. Yes, April. Five months ago.

Then I got sidetracked and tried to finish in May, but the end of the school year had me too crazy to actually finish it. Then it was summer and well, I couldn’t be bothered with opening a computer most days. Too much fun in the sun to be had. Now it’s the beginning of the school year and I’ve never been more stressed out and tired, but it’s Blood Cancer Awareness Month and I’m due for a post...

So, be patient with me as I retell this story(ies?)...and try to keep things reported in a timely fashion from here on out.

On Sunday, August 14th, I had my 30th Lanreotide injection and tomorrow I’ll have my 31st. It’s been two and a half years of this medicine, and it has been working to keep my tumor growth to a minimum. I am very thankful for that.

Back in mid-April, I had been experiencing significant pain under my right rib for about five days, and since that’s the general spot my liver is in, I was super stressed that it was my tumors acting up. After some convos with oncology, they asked me to come into the Perlman Center at UPenn to see the oncology urgent care team and get my scans done a bit early. (They were scheduled for May 3rd). So on April 26th, I made the hike into the big city. I forgot about how annoying it was to drive into West Philly (damn you, Schuylkill!) since I was re-diagnosed in February 2020 and only had one in-person appointment at Penn due to the pandemic. I hate figuring out parking and being lost in a hospital, then anxiously hanging in waiting rooms. I don’t mind meeting new nurses, techs, phlebotomists, and nurse practitioners who are always pretty incredible. But since the logistics of huge hospital systems gives me heart palpitations, I always ask the person who schedules me where I should park and how I’ll find my floor and the office I need — and the scheduler this time was also super helpful…until I got there and multiple roads were blocked with police and construction. I ended up parking a little ways away and taking a shuttle which wasn’t so bad - even if the driver was repeatedly screaming that she was gonna punch someone right in the face. I would have had anxiety leaving my car in a garage with my work computer and other such valuables, however because I haven’t cleaned out my car in forever — it definitely appears like I live in it — and certainly doesn’t look like it would be holding anything of value — so I think joke’s on you, robbers!

They took me back to get my CT scan pretty quickly but then I had to wait while they asked about doing a scan of my chest as well as the pelvis/abdomen, as my CT scheduled for the following month was for both and insurance likely doesn’t want me getting two CT scans within one week. Once they got that approval, I got the scan with and without IV contrast of my abdomen, pelvis, and chest. It’s cute how they always ask me if I have an underwire bra on or any such thing. I have to remind them — I’m a pro. (Who wore a metal-free slob suit to work also). I didn’t have to drink a Barium smoothie — so that’s a plus. As the CT tech was taking out my IV, he asked if I wanted him to leave it in because I was getting an infusion afterwards, which was news to me since I haven’t had an infusion in 10 years. So he took it out, and I went to “infusion” where it turns out they sent me for a blood draw and would have used the same IV had we left it in. Another needle in the opposite arm, and all is done. Then I waited for a nurse practitioner, Marie, to go over things with me. In the meantime, I got a notification that my bloodwork results we’re already in my portal (less than ten minutes after they drew it). Holy quickness. Things looked normal to me, and I was told someone would call me to review. Marie said that they would get results of the CT scans that day, but definitely not for a few hours — so I should go home and wait there. She did call me later that night and assured me that all was status quo. Nothing looked like it changed and my liver was probably not taking over my body like an alien life form.

Dr. Teitelbaum and I had our normal follow-up telehealth appointment the next week and she confirmed, things are still growing so very slowly, there is nothing to worry about it. It didn’t appear that my liver was causing the pain, and since the pain subsided in time, there wasn’t much else to do.

I had my injection in April, May, June, July - and then had new scans done. This time, still only minimal growth, but Dr. Teitelbaum said she doesn’t want to become complacent, and asked me to schedule an appointment with Dr. Soulen in interventional radiology to see if he things I should be moving to next steps. I was originally told this medicine works for 3-5 years in most patients, before the cancer outsmarts the meds. It makes me pretty nervous to be creeping up on the low end of that timeline. Especially since any cancer of mine is of course going to be smarter than the average cancer, right? So I can’t be shocked if they say that next steps should be considered soon. But I was kind of getting used to the idea of just pretending it’s not there and getting my backside injected once a month, forever. I thought the appointment with Dr. Soulen was this past week, but realized I missed a call where it was rescheduled for October 5th -- so I will update again after that one.

In addition to all of my routine cancer screenings/scans/treatments, I have also been subjected to other diagnostics recently. My OBGYN has been increasingly more demanding and the appointments are all so time consuming. I went in for an annual visit and the doctor recommended an endometrial ablation. Two weeks ago I had to get a mammogram (simply because I am nearly 40 and well, that’s the kind of fun stuff you do when you’re middle-aged). It took 8 days, but I received a little letter in my electronic file that started with this sentence...

WOOT WOOT! Again, not that we (or anyone) had any concern about my breasts -- but hearing that a part of me is cancer-free is always so uplifting. However, the radiology results lag makes me a little stressed, because I HATE waiting. Apparently there is a major radiologist shortage right now. And every other kind of shortage, but I can handle waiting a little for food or slightly longer lines places...

A few days later I got my ultrasound reports (abdominal and transvaginal) which also appeared normal (although they couldn’t find one of my ovaries, so I guess they can only say they are 50% sure they are normal). This Thursday, I have an endometrial biopsy and then HOPEFULLY NovaSure -- the endometrial ablation. Just one thing I’d like to get under control, ASAP. Fingers and Ovaries crossed that it comes back normal or whatever is needed so I can schedule this procedure. In the meantime, I am not opposed to rain-dances for menopause or an approved hysterectomy.

In December, I will have another Gallium scan -- you know the one so wild they only do it on certain days of the week at certain times and they tell you not to hold your kids after for a day or so because you’re still radioactive -- cool, cool. And that’s to make sure it’s still only in my liver and not traveling elsewhere, without a passport.

And to end this with a dose of kid-comedy... This weekend my kids asked me why I get the injections at home and I told them I like when the nurse comes and gives me a shot in our house...and they translated that to, “Mommy likes getting it in her butt in the dining room.” Hoping this isn’t the overshare they decide to present in school this week.

So that’s the update for now -- more to hopefully come soon. Love to you all for being patient in hearing “news” for me, but no news is typically, “Sam still has cancer but she’s alive and her normal, albeit crazy, self” (aka good news, I think?) Until next time...

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allylikethecat · 10 months

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just wanted to let you know ive re-read make way for ducklings no joke like 10 times now lol. i checked for chapter 13 as soon as ao3 was stable again, since i saw you said it was done 😅. fictional matty fumbling the interview was very cute, and idk if this will be included or not but im interested to see when the fans start to figure it out 👀

(also thought using the durex shirt in the previous chapter was a nice touch lmao)

also been loving the kiss prompts! interested in the extended version of face down too, or anything more about migraines, or...well, anything angsty in general really haha...😅

anyway, looking forward to whatever you post next! ive very much enjoyed everything of yours so far <3

Oh my gosh. Thank you SO MUCH. I can't believe someone other than ME has read Make Way for Ducklings more than once, let alone TEN TIMES. You are absolutely amazing and I hope you didn't find too many plot holes that i have attempted to bandaid 😂 I feel like I was one of the last people to be able to access AO3 again, so I hope you weren't waiting too long after it came back up (huge shout out to the volunteer that fought off the attack, those are some real life rockstars.)

Meanwhile, Fictional!Matty is out there saying words that he is realizing after they leave his mouth that he probably should have kept to himself (reminds me of real life Matty there a little bit 🤔) except luckily, the only person he's hurting in my fic is himself! The fans are 100% going to think that Matty got some random girl pregnant and is now freaking out about it 😂 Though... they weren't the only ones listening to the broadcast and they don't have the same front row seat to Matty's erratic behavior as other people 👀

Thank you for commenting on the Durex shirt. I thought I was fucking hilarious with that one and was snickering as I wrote it haha

The kiss prompts have been so much fun! I posted another one today, and I have a few more in my inbox! I really needed them to kind of reset my brain I think!

Don't worry- there is lots more angst in the future! I will eventually finish the Ear Infection Fic™️ situation, and once that's finished I want to shift my "one shot" focus onto expanding Face Down- that whole thing has such a grip on me! I also have You Know Where the City Is - my Matty x Taylor 2014 Fake Dating AU... Matty is pretty miserable in that one as well 😂 I feel bad maybe I should write him into a happier situation?

I can't commit to migraines at the moment - but they're miserable so they will probably also make a reappearance at some point. I've also been really intrigued by Matty's experience getting LASIK...

Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to reach out and for reading (multiple times!!!) I was so excited when I saw this ask and probably just sent way too long responding to it- but I got really excited and here we are, I have written you a small novel in response. If you have made it this far, thank you so, so, much and I am always overly excited to chat about my fic if you are so inclined. Thank you again!!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #fanfiction #make way for ducklings #so sorry for how long and rambleing this is #i am a lil unwell #i think i gave myself sun/heat poisoning riding today #but im having LOTS OF FEELINGS #and im so thankful for kind messages like this one

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whatagirlwants · 9 months

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olivia apparently has a song coming out about an “ill advised one night stand with an ex”. She has had a couple bfs since 2020 but I still wonder if it’s about josh. I feel like that might tie into joshs ep from October and Sabrina’s lyrics in lonesome and opposite.

(disclaimer i didnt mean to write this much l)

lets be honest… olivia would never go back to joshua 😭 i need yall to be serious…

Lonesome isn’t about joshua going back to Olivia. Lonesome is like Sabrina’s way of reflecting on Joshua leaving her. there were many layers to it but here she’s second guessing if he loved her.. because the 2nd DL came out and the way people responded to it.. affected their relationship cause he brokeup with her.. hence “is it kind of strange how it all changed when i wasn’t the one they wanted you to love”

Sabrina feels like she was just an opportunity for him. i mean lets be serious she was the only one with a real successful career when joshua came into her life. at that time hsmtmts just put out s1 and the only thing o & j did was write instagram unoriginals. Sabrina was an opportunity in so many ways i mean she even wrote for his EP, she was almost a feature (but they brokeup snd scrapped it). She feels used.

it all circles back to him breaking up with her after DL, “why were u somewhere else when you were next to me” that maybe he never loved her at all.

Opposite i cant speak on it lyrically cause idk if its about him (i dont think its about Dylan O’brien either ive seen those rumors). but about your question.. Joshua didnt end up with Olivia or a look alike unless she knows something we dont about who’s he been with after “Face like that other girl you’re inlove with”

Joshua’s EP in October:

would you love me now: people only think its about Olivia cause he sings “passing Pasadena, do you still live in LA?” (apparently olivia lived there) but if you think about it he’s passing Pasadena to LA.. where Sabrina used to live, she moved to NYC after their breakup. also first lines of the song he sings something about a letter he never sent.. “emails i can’t send”

(disclaimer: i feel like we need to be-careful with lyrics cuz i feel like sometime maybe its not all accurate or songwriters think of multiple situations)

She said he said she said: so its clean she (olivia) he (joshua) she (sabrina) is clearly about that drama and one of the girls was talking shit (again could be all fabricated for this “cool” story he’s telling) but he does sings “highschool never ends” which makes me think of Olivia, and another line “did you tell them everything” which reminds me of his song Secret which is obviously about Olivia.

i’m sorry: he’s apologizing to his ex. i think sabrina releasing “things i wish you said” makes it clear this is about her. Sabrina’s song is all in her ex’s perspective of things she wishes he said. theres a part where she says “sorry that i pulled the its not you its me someday ill make sure you get a apology” in ‘Im Sorry’ joshua is APOLOGIZING to his ex saying “it was me it wasn’t you its cliche but its true”. also the lines alone where he sings “ever since that day the things i didnt say they haunt me” and she writes a song of things she wishes he said.

Different idk cause its not accurate to their timeline cuz of “2 years not being friends” but the rest like “my biggest regret is walking away” ties to im sorry and his other songs where he says he regrets leaving. TBH he could be just writing what he wants to happen cause didnt rekindle whatever she had with him. so this is why i say sometimes it isnt lyrically accurate and who knows maybe its about olivia but i think its weird after the EP crisis secret set me free he’d suddenly say she’s his biggest regret and he wishes he didnt walk away. and even after he released that what makes u think olivia would ever want to rekindle with him😭

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celebdeathnews · 1 year

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How Did Chadwick Boseman Find Out He Had Cancer Before his Death?

After Chadwick Boseman passed away on Friday at the age of 43, it has been clear that few people, including Ryan Coogler and Spike Lee, were aware of the actor’s four-year battle with colon cancer.

Dr. Wayne A.I. Frederick, president of Howard University, stated in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter that he thought the alumnus appeared “smaller” when he dined with Boseman in 2019.

Boseman was questioned by Frederick about the difficulties of losing weight, who claimed that the actor did so for a particular role.

Frederick reported that the man “gave a long, thorough answer, saying that he was a vegetarian, was working out, and was trying to take care of himself and do what he had to do.” It was a highly considered reaction that did not indicate that anything else was going on.

Boseman “was genuinely in hard-core pain” when filming one of his final parts in Netflix’s upcoming “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” according to Michael Greene, the actor’s agent, but it “was so exciting to him” to work with Denzel Washington on the August Wilson adaption.

According to Greene, she “always trained him not to have people fuss over him.” He was a very, very quiet person and believed that individuals in this industry tend to become overly emotional about things.

In a statement sent by Boseman’s family on social media on Friday, it was revealed that the actor had been battling the illness.

In the announcement, it was stated that Chadwick had battled with stage IV colon cancer for the past four years after receiving a stage III diagnosis in 2016.

“Chadwick, a true fighter, persisted despite everything and produced many of the movies you have grown to adore.

The movies “Marshall,” “Da 5 Bloods,” “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” and many others were all shot during and in between multiple operations and rounds of chemotherapy. King T’Challa’s portrayal in Black Panther was the greatest professional honor of his life.”

Boseman’s “Black Panther” director revealed in an emotional homage that he wasn’t “privy to the circumstances of his condition” and only became aware of it after the statement.

“I came to understand that he had been coping with his condition the entire time I knew him. He protected his associates from his sorrow since he was a provider, a leader, and a man of religion, dignity, and pride “Coogler composed.

Did the Black Actor Die of Cancer?

Yes, The actor also portrayed trailblazing characters like Thurgood Marshall, Jackie Robinson, and James Brown, making him one of the most in-demand leading men of his generation.

By Hollywood standards, Mr. Boseman was a reclusive guy who infrequently made personal information public. He became famous as an actor somewhat late; he was 35 when he played Jackie Robinson in “42.” Nevertheless, he made up for lost time with a streak of star-making appearances in important biopics.

With roles as diverse as Thurgood Marshall in “Marshall,” James Brown in “Get On Up,” and T’Challa in “Black Panther,” Mr. Boseman became one of his generation’s most in-demand leading men because of his uncomplicated flexibility and classic gravity.

The news of his passing caused shock and grief to permeate society, and many notable individuals in the arts and public life paid respect to Mr. Boseman.

The actor’s portrayals of early Black leaders, according to Martin Luther King III, a human-rights activist and the eldest son of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., “brought history to life on the silver screen.”

The Democratic presidential nominee Joseph R. Biden Jr., a former vice president, tweeted that actor Chadwick Boseman has “inspired generations and reminded them they can be anything they want – even superheroes.”

See you in the next post, till check the related posts down there

Michael Jackson’s Daughter’s Death: Why Is It Going Viral and Why Did She Attempt Suicide?

Violet Myers Passed Away: Cause | Obituary | Career Growth And All You Need to Know!

4 Actors From Poltergeists Who Lost Their Lives: Did It Happened?

STAY STRONG AND SHARE THIS POST

#rip chadwick

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polychaeteworm · 2 years

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Ive noticed that pretty much all of the people siding with amber heard haven't actually watched the trial.

The whole point of this being a win for DV victims is that we need to go back to believing evidence instead of making knee jerk claims based on demographic assumptions.

We have a man and a woman, the man is older and richer, so people assume he was the aggressor instead of her, while the evidence says otherwise.

Hell, the body language and displays of character say otherwise.

This is a win because finally people arent always going to believe someone's account entirely off of their gender or age, as it never should have been.

"Believe all women" is not a reflection of reality, its not ok. It is not gender equality, it is not fair. I don't care if you don't like that.

I wanna remind all of you of Johnny's testimony about when amber withheld his medicine during his detox. He is visibly uncomfortable talking about it, he stutters. Its clearly a painful memory to him. This woman stood by, watching her husband writhe in pain, and would not give him the medicine to stop it. She separated him from his nurse and doctor, claiming she could administer the meds. She wanted control. It was extremely clear that this was a power thing and she kept objecting to johnny requesting space from her. Multiple recordings show her not giving him emotional processing space, and forcing him to argue with her. She is on tape telling him that she can't promise she won't hit him. This is abuse.

She has this calm look of superiority as she talks about what happened. She crys with no real tears.

Ive seen my narcissistic mother, my abuser who claims I abused her, make all those same faces and back pedal in the same ways amber was. All those "yes, but.. no, but.." answers as she realizes what it truly looks like.

All these heard supporters keep yelling about how she only retaliated, but when the evidence shows her aggressing repeatedly, why do you not say it was him who was the retaliator?

Because you are making a gender based assumption and thats whats over now, thats what has to stop. You can't believe someone is a victim simply because they are a younger woman.

I also keep seeing people talk about the text he sent saying he would do all these violent things.

Have any of you SERIOUSLY never texted a friend something violent about someone whos hurting you deeply? I have! I have friends who have!

Did you guys forget how ok it was to have t shirts saying things like "i drink male tears" and "throw rocks at boys" ect. Ect. Do you remember how fantasizing violence against an abuser was "justified"??? Only when the abuser is a man apparently!

I just find it so abhorrent that people are believing a demographic point over clear evidence. You cannot say this is a miscarriage of justice when you havent even seen what the jury saw.

Im seriously reading things like "i wasn't following the case but-"

BUT NOTHING. You werent following the case so your opinion that the jury, a group of hand selected unbiased people who saw more of the trial than you was wrong doesn't count for anything.

If you want to think amber is a victim here, go back and watch the case, the whole fucking thing.

We cant believe someone just because they're a woman, we have to look at evidence and if you dont like that, then you were always part of the problem.

Saying this is a loss for DV victims ignores the male DV victims who finally feel they can speak up.

Its a loss for women who wish to manipulate people into believing their lies with their gender. Its a loss for abusive women that thought it would be easy to villainize a man.

If you are a female DV victim, this case should not make you worry because truth is what really matters in a court of law.

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fireismine · 3 years

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Daenerys Targaryen Appreciation Month

Day 19 → Learning, Intelligence and Skills

Throughout the ASOIAF series, Daenerys has displayed the skills of horse riding, understanding multiple languages, negotiating, military strategy, creating alliances and dragon riding. These will be discussed under the cut:

Horse Riding

Daenerys is an accomplished horserider who formed an instant connection with her horse, Silver:

The silver-grey filly moved with a smooth and silken gait, and the crowd parted for her, every eye upon them. Dany found herself moving faster than she had intended, yet somehow it was exciting rather than terrifying. The horse broke into a trot, and she smiled. Dothraki scrambled to clear a path. The slightest pressure with her legs, the lightest touch on the reins, and the filly responded. She sent it into a gallop, and now the Dothraki were hooting and laughing and shouting at her as they jumped out of her way. As she turned to ride back, a firepit loomed ahead, directly in her path. They were hemmed in on either side, with no room to stop. A daring she had never known filled Daenerys then, and she gave the filly her head. The silver horse leapt the flames as if she had wings. - Daenerys II, A Game of Thrones

Polyglot

In Astapor, Daenerys could discern the Ghiscari dialect of High Valyrian:

"Tell the Westerosi whore to lower her eyes," the slaver Kraznys mo Nakloz complained to the slave girl who spoke for him. "I deal in meat, not metal. The bronze is not for sale. Tell her to look at the soldiers. Even the dim purple eyes of a sunset savage can see how magnificent my creatures are, surely." Kraznys's High Valyrian was twisted and thickened by the characteristic growl of Ghis, and flavored here and there with words of slaver argot. Dany understood him well enough, but she smiled and looked blankly at the slave girl, as if wondering what he might have said. - Daenerys II, A Storm of Swords

Negotiation

As Queen of Meereen, Daenerys offered to trade with Qarth:

"Shall we walk?" Dany slipped her arm through his. The air was heavy with the scent of night-blooming flowers. "You spoke of help. Trade with me, then. Meereen has salt to sell, and wine …" "Ghiscari wine?" Xaro made a sour face. "The sea provides all the salt that Qarth requires, but I would gladly take as many olives as you cared to sell me. Olive oil as well." - Daenerys III, A Dance with Dragons

Military Strategy

Daenerys was able to take Yunkai by complete suprise with her battle strategy:

"I think we should attack from three sides. Grey Worm, your Unsullied shall strike at them from right and left, while my kos lead my horse in wedge for a thrust through their center. Slave soldiers will never stand before mounted Dothraki." She smiled. "To be sure, I am only a young girl and know little of war. What do you think, my lords?" "I think you are Rhaegar Targaryen's sister," Ser Jorah said with a rueful half smile. - Daenerys IV, A Storm of Swords

Creating Alliances

As Queen of Meereen, Daenerys sent the Stormcrows to free the Lhazarene slaves to open the trade routes so that grain could be brought to Meereen :/p>

Beyond the eastern hills was a range of rounded sandstone mountains, the Khyzai Pass, and Lhazar. If Daario could convince the Lhazarene to reopen the overland trade routes, grains could be brought down the river or over the hills at need … but the Lamb Men had no reason to love Meereen. "When the Stormcrows return from Lhazar, perhaps I can use them in the streets," she told Ser Barristan, "but until then I have only the Unsullied." - Daenerys I, A Dance with Dragons

Yet somehow she found herself thinking of Daario Naharis. His messenger had come that morning. The Stormcrows were returning from Lhazar. Her captain was riding back to her, bringing her the friendship of the Lamb Men. Food and trade, she reminded herself. He did not fail me, nor will he. Daario will help me save my city. - Daenerys III, A Dance with Dragons

"Meereen has made alliance with Lhazar." That only made him chuckle. "The Dothraki horselords call the Lhazarene the Lamb Men. When you shear them, all they do is bleat. They are not a martial people." Even a sheepish friend is better than none. "The Wise Masters should follow their example. I spared Yunkai before, but I will not make that mistake again. If they should dare attack me, this time I shall raze their Yellow City to the ground." - Daenerys III, A Dance with Dragons

Ser Barristan remained. "Our stores are ample for the moment," he reminded her, "and Your Grace has planted beans and grapes and wheat. Your Dothraki have harried the slavers from the hills and struck the shackles from their slaves. They are planting too, and will be bringing their crops to Meereen to market. And you will have the friendship of Lhazar." Daario won that for me, for all that it is worth. "The Lamb Men. Would that lambs had teeth." "That would make the wolves more cautious, no doubt." - Daenerys V, A Dance with Dragons

Dragon Riding

Daenerys was able to ride Drogon by using her intuition and previous knowledge of horse riding:

The dragonlords of old Valyria had controlled their mounts with binding spells and sorcerous horns. Daenerys made do with a word and a whip. Mounted on the dragon's back, she oft felt as if she were learning to ride all over again. When she whipped her silver mare on her right flank the mare went left, for a horse's first instinct is to flee from danger. When she laid the whip across Drogon's right side he veered right, for a dragon's first instinct is always to attack. Sometimes it did not seem to matter where she struck him, though; sometimes he went where he would and took her with him. Neither whip nor words could turn Drogon if he did not wish to be turned. The whip annoyed him more than it hurt him, she had come to see; his scales had grown harder than horn. - Daenerys X, A Dance with Dragons

#daenerys targaryen #daenerys targaryen edit #book quote #agot #asos #adwd #dany meta #asoiaf meta #danymonth2021 #my gifs #asoiaf #asoiafedit

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