#ive learned how to be creative
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im very grateful for my mutuals and followers alike and all the people ive met on here, i wish you all love and prosperity in 2024
and a kitten, you deserve it champ
#ive met some really great people here this year (and prior years)#the FS fandom has been (mostly) fantastic and are a fun bunch of people#thanks for all of your support this past year#its been so much fun writing with you guys and making dumb memes#just in general being weird about something we all like probably a little too much to be considered normal 馃槀#but seriously 2023 was one of the most challenging and life changing years of my life#i nearly died!!#a couple times!!!#i had an extremely medically necessary hysterectomy#my mom had a roller coaster of a year#i met someone who lets me smile again#ive learned how to be creative#you guys even like my crappy drawings sometimes 馃槶#idk what will happen in 2024#but god damn#let鈥檚 do it#sulley speaks
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i have been meaning to post this all day but kept getting distracted by work (and am thus using tumblr as a distraction from school work)
the summoning came on earlier this morning and i had a sudden epiphany
vessel tracks all the instruments besides drums right? so now i鈥檓 incredibly curious- what is his studio set up? what instruments does he use? does vessel play an 8-string guitar because that鈥檚 what iv plays on stage? how many guitars does he have? i want to know what pedals/effects are used, tunings, everything! is he a fender guy? gibson? takamine? epiphone? gretsch?
and he must have a bass or two! what are those like? what brands?
i genuinely don鈥檛 really know anything about instruments beyond how to play them a little bit, but i am a massive nerd about knowing what is used in studio vs on stage.
#ramble on exie#sleep token#sleep token vessel#instruments#i am honestly just so so curious about the entire creative process for sleep token#but i would settle for knowing what equipment is used in studio#oh! and how iii and iv learn their parts. because afaik they don鈥檛 write them so they鈥檇 have to learn them after the fact#and i鈥檇 love to be privy to how those two learn their parts as touring members
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Request done for @choijesoo of their beautiful OC! 馃
#myart#artists on tumblr#oc art#character design#request#emmy bee is back#This was supposed to be a simple sketch just to get faster#but their concept just had so much potential i couldn鈥檛 help myself and just fully rendered that bad boy!#I tried to stay as close to their original portrait as i could#but i took a few creative liberties to tie in their story and personality in my own way#I hope you dont mind the little changes!#its not perfect but this gave me a bunch of practice with some experimental techniques ive been wanting to try#which is why it took so long lol#but then again thats what these requests are for to learn and grow as an artist#whether that means getting faster or trying things i have never tried before!#i encorage everyone to take risks in their art and try new things!#do it wrong and do it scared because that is how we learn!
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sksjdj this made me laugh!
i didnt know what to put on the mug, i didnt know what might symbolize madoka, so i just drew a little mini kyubey馃拃
but lets just say its merch, in a timeline where madoka is actually a huge fan of madoka magica. and the mc is...homura!!!!
i think i just made a super cool au
(thanks for more of the super kind words! im glad you like the way i draw! i'm trying my best to stick with the style of madoka magica while still incorporating my own style in there, hope its working)
#aghhh im so grateful#you are super nice#thanks for the motivation for me to draw more mm!!!!#ive been struggling with finding fandoms that i fit into recently#and im finding so many different things that im interested in that its too much for my brain#so i keep feeling overwhelmed that i have to draw EVERYTHING because i want to!!#i just dont have the time energy or motivation#all the while trying to stick to my roots with danganronpa#im slowly forgetting danganronpa and how much i have a passion for it and its stressing me out#as much as i want to grow as a person i genuinely want to keep up with danganronpa and learn more about it!#im just in a stage where im discovering a lot of different things such as madoka magica and its a lot#because i feel the need to create create create everything i see#every scenario i really want to draw!#but theres too much!!!#i didnt even have the motivation to draw danganronpa (my one and only fandom) for a long long time#but now that im starting off strong with mm#i think ill really be able to get some creativity out there#it makes me happy that my art is enjoyable by you and others so#seriously thank you so much for your words and excitement about the things i make bc i need that sometimes!#even if it seems small like im overreacting#it is just really nice to hear a total stranger say that they like the things i make#i know its not just to make me feel better and that its genuine#ive never really had social media or posted the things im passionate about ever#this is honestly super new to me#so yeah#a little means a lot#sorry for ranting i just wanted to say that haha ty for reading
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Writers are so talented. Your words are doing things to my mind, showing me ideas and connecting dots... inspiring my brain to connect MORE dots
Pure wizardry. It's scary
#rambles#text#<- burdened by thoughts#im so. ive been obsessed with dadow fics. i stg its so fun to read about#that or characters learning/coming to terms with identity and self.#learning to trust others#i live for that intrapersonal/interpersonal variance and interaction#how do they see themself? what changes that? what doesnt change?#how will they tackle an issue out of their control. or their comfort zone#DISABILITY. How do they manage disability or navigate their world. How does their worldview differ because of it#what does daily life look like for them. what are their dreams/goals/#their aspirations. their worries. can you see their past or mindset in how they love someone. in how they act or protect or cook or care#sorry. im tired and love creativity and seeing the stories we tell and feel need to be told#this is about storytelling in general but spurred on by me being tired and finding comfort in other people sharing experiences thru writing#maybe if i wrote stories instead of mini essays in tags id have a small fic out by now...#anyway dm me or hit me with fic recs i NEED to read
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Realizing I barely write in French anymore hm
#馃え hm idk#i would like to start making my comics in French a lil more and my other writing too#actually i would like to start writing more in general#entering adulthood and having an apartment and bills and much more responsibilities#i have not been as productive and creative as I would have liked#but I鈥檝e managed to get back into it with art#i force myself to draw even if its bad just to do it and have something ive drawn#and ive been getting into traditional art and some craft projects as well#something i havent really done before#because im a stubborn bitch who refused to learn how to paint correctly#i was frustrated that my drawing skills didn鈥檛 translate to other art forms so i didn鈥檛 explore them#and yes my digital art skills are better than traditional but im just enjoying it and learning as i go#ok im talking a lot#lmao absolutely not related to the original post this too is art
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I never say I'm good at drawing because compared to someone who is good at drawing I'm not. Like if you study art you know this distinction, it's not false modesty it's just Facts the way I can also say I don't have a driver's licence. I do think however that I'm good at communicating via drawing which basically is the most important thing about drawing if don't want to become an illustrator or dedicate your life to drawing in some other way. I also think I have a decent grasp on anatomy generally but I'm pants at finishing drawings. I especially do not understand colour and probably should take a painting class at some point in my life lol
#drawing at least classical drawing is a very technical skill imo. and it can be learned by anyone#like obviously im generally creative but ive also had MANY drawing lessons in my life#if you can ever take a figure drawing class that's absolutely worth it. 100% recommend#its so helpful to actually break down human anatomy bit by bit and understand how it works#its really just a technical skill at least up to a. point where creativity becomes more important
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godddd i WANT to like minecraft so much but theres fucking nothing going onnnnn the biomes are boring the geography is def better than was before but still theres so little variation and even then the core gameplay is just. nothing. the inventory management sucks so much ass ive straight up stopped playing vanilla without bundles and the way you progress in many areas is so dumbb like teehee go find a jungle biome that could be 200 blocks or 20000 blocks away from spawn just so you dont implode of anger trying to build something decent without wasting time on countless dirt pillars. oh and also the only things that look good are structures from the outside because furnishing stuff is practically impossible since theres no furniture. lolz
there are of course many mods that adress this sort of thing but each take it in a new direction and sometimes you just want a branch of the river yknow?
ive been trying to find datapacks for this sort of thing but it doesnt seem like they can accomplish much so it leaves everything to need to be mods.. sigh
#ive said it before and ill say it again. with the amount of creativity minecraft allows it should not be the type of game you need >#>to pump full of mods to flesh out#literally the most basic thing. a pixel. now make it 3d. it doesnt get easier than that to add things to! for fucks sake!!#i keep considering learning how to make datapacks or resource packs to add my own stuff to it#but then i remember. whats the point in building a house if danger can be avoided entirely by spamming torches everyone#literally the only two things you ever need to worry about is a basic ass food meter -> just kill animals#and health -> make everythign sun bright and have an automatic beef cooker for if you do lose health#AND THEN WHAT MY GUY. THEN WHAT!!!!!!!!!!#god everytime i think about mc i feel like making a mod myself but then it loses any personal value bc you know how everything works#and you'd have to test the shit out of it too so at one point it solidifies in your memory and poof. it aint new anymore#i hate this game with the fiery passion of someone who knows how great it could be. it hurts so much. *whimper*#i was gonna say it almost surpasses the pain i have for what watchdogs could have been but wd is a much smaller scale#and its like. sad. but i genuinely feel angry at how basic minecraft is. i look at it and go are you fucking kidding me. what the fuck man#is it too much to ask for a survival game where building a house has a fucking purpose and isnt a painful process to achieve. fkin hell#dextxt
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playing morrowind has really given me a new appreciation of rpgs with no/minimal voice acting. Like idk if the game would be what it is (to me) if the lines were voiced. It asks you to pay close attention to what people have to say, to really understand what they mean, and then allows you to spend as much time as you want reading and rereading through the words by just presenting them as a paragraph. Ik a lot of people don't love text blocks and that's fair, but to me it offers a completely different gameplay experience where the dialogue can be of greater importance because YOU control the flow and pacing of information. You don't have to sit through three or four voice lines just to get to the one you want to check again, and you don't have to wrap up your thoughts by the time the VA finishes speaking. You can just sit and pick it apart!
#ive been thinking a lot about crafting rpgs lately and im sort of designing one ha#and one of the things i have been stuck on is audio. because its so crucial and it's something i have absolutely zero experience with#like i know how to code i can do art#i have enough experience with video games and analyzing them to have somewhere to start when learning game design principles#and i've made simple games before#but I have NO experience with audio recording and design#I sing and thats about it lol.#but morrowind has really given me a look into how you can USE limited resources to do something interesting.#even with something as crucial to the overall atmosphere as sound design. limitation is the fuel for creativity or w/e right#anyway next on my list is pathologic (classic HD bc I'm a masochist<3)#im thinking about making a separate blog to talk about like. ig video game opinions and development stuff because its not all tes related#so i can't keep it here haha
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just only found out now that neocities is free and you can go prenium as an option....you mean to tell me i can finally make an oc website after trying with at least 6 different platforms for years
#and i can learn html as i go which is what i wanna do anyways for future jobs....um..hehe#i'm so used to having a lack of control over how much you can do with sites i feel like my creativity is already so stifled or not that#intresting and neo is like. do what you want have fun#i gotta go back to my deviantart 12 year old that just got prenium levels of deco LMAO#i actually have super old documents saved from back then of the code i was doing!! sigh..dA...#looking at the neocity of this one twt artist i liked's oc page and holy. like it's so cool and got so many ideas i'm just like i want this#level of passion again#i feel like my creative ideas are super grounded so it leaves me feeling kinda lesser in terms of other artists#who do a lot more fantasy-esque ideas#i just like reflecting life around me quite a bit is what ive noticed over the many many years
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i've learned how to draw from complete strangers. like just. little internet tutorials, or seeing how someone draws a nose or a jawline and copying them, or watching speedpaints on youtube and learning what the hell an overlay layer was from that. like sure i've learned a lot of my ability from a few studies and experiments, but my perspective rules? colour theory? shape language? i only knew to study and experiment with those Because of all the tutorials i've seen. the second-most given art advice (beyond "practice") is "see what your favourite artist is doing and pick out what you like about their style!" and! idk! there's something so beautiful about how we're all strangers, but there's so much community in the art community? there's so so many strangers who took time out of their own lives to make flesh clouds or anatomy guides or explain perspective rules, and I wouldn't be where i am today without them. i cannot explain how grateful i am to those people, and how happy i am that so many people fucking. share. sometimes i think about a rose drawing tutorial made by some 15 yo that i watched when i was 12. it was pretty basic im not gonna lie, but i drew roses like that for years. I still draw roses like that when i want to spent a little extra time on them. i saw some artist talking about using thin lines so they'd have to get better with their linework rather than relying on the juicy thick lines, and i copied them and can now wield linewidth like a beast (when. i want to . which is not often). i've watched so many speedpaints that render skin in so many different ways that its all boiled down to the one method i use. neck width. hair physics. hair shine or lack thereof. eyes, pupils, mouth. fucking noses and the million variations. clothes???? idk i am like 100% rambling at this point but it's so fuckin nice to look at my art and see the ways i've been shaped by the kindness of other people
#mishapen rambles#i am completely incoherent tonight and thus it is Text Wall time#i bet id be really good at writing an essay rn im so fuckin verbose#anyway this is why i LOVE it when people talk about their creative processes#do you create things? want to talk about it? PLEASE DO#there are people who will see it and will learn from it#even if youre 'not good enough' i swear 12 yo me beginning artist baby would have had no idea how to spot a single one of the mistakes#you're agonized by. again ive now surpassed the skill of that rose tutorial but i still think about it a lot and how i couldnt see any erro#it's stunning to show a non-artist a piece you're not happy with and they're just. amazed#i once drew a real Shit Pile worthy face in front of my dad and one of his work friends and they were blown away by how fast i made it#idk just hey here's a love letter to everyone who shares anything about their creative process#ilu you're doing great and are a vertebrae in the backbone of this community#this all goes for writing too but the circulated writing tricks seem to be. trendified? more often than art tips#hey fun fact you can use 'said' as many fuckin times as you want i prommy#you don't always need whatever big fancy phrase or detailed description#if it hurts to write just don't write it#you will get so much farther with two sentences than a three paragraph slog#this mishapen dear is full of too much love for the creative community and all the people who never knew her but still taught her
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365 Days of Poems: Day 10 (January 10th)
Harmonious Anxiety
There is a music inside me
There always has been
When I was younger,
before I knew much of anything,
my fingers fumbled over the keys and strings
attached to my organs
and what came was a cacophony
produced by my movements
inside
I tried to teach myself
how to turn the discordant noise
into something鈥攁nything鈥攑leasant,
and sometimes I would stumble
upon notes that fit like a jigsaw,
but mostly,
I made it worse
with a mess of overthinking and insecurity
I learned to leave the music alone
and let it play itself
however it wanted or needed to,
but sometimes the cacophony would return
without my influence
and I would have to intervene,
trying to muffle the sound
and silence the chords,
but I rarely succeeded at that too
Eventually,
someone else鈥攁 musician鈥攖ook my hands
and taught me
how to pluck the strings and touch the keys
to make a melody
that grew into a symphony
with my internal orchestra,
and they taught me
it's impossible to fully stop the cacophonies
but it is instead possible to make my own music with it
until it passes
They were right:
the cacophonies have never vanished,
but I have since learned
to live with them in harmony
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Here's the link to the corresponding writing prompt post
#very much still trying to catch up with posting these#so oof#this poem is very much drawn from my experience with my own anxiety#and this poem acts as a metaphor of how ive learned to cope and live with my anxiety#and the 'musician' here is a mix of the counsellor i had in high school and my girlfriend as they both have helped me immensely#as for what i did on the 10th i kinda have no idea (i was at least a bit sad cos that was david bowies death day)#so oopsie for that#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#poem#poetry#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least#*for#edit: i actually now remember that my girlfriend and i watched more squid game on the 10th
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can you imagine if someone said that they are severely depressed and the only way to feel better is to hunt endangered animals for sport? like we would all agree that this person shouldn't do that just because it's the only thing that makes them happy and that maybe they should a. go to therapy and b. find something less harmful, right? well i just saw someone said they use ai art bcs they are disabled and cant draw anymore so-
#m#art stuff#ai art#ive thought sometimes about how devastating it would be if i lost my sight and couldnt draw anymore#or do many of the things i love because they require me to see#and it's a very scary thought honestly#but i would just learn to move on and find something else to do#like. you know. what every blind person has to do because that's just life#but i wouldnt start doing unethical stuff like ai art which steals from other artists#also genuine question but what do you get from using ai to generate an image#i enjoy making my ocs on picrew but that can never replace the joy of drawing something myself#and it's astonishing to see an artist say that ai can replace that feeling#also not to be that person but beethoven was deaf and he is the greatest composer of all time#there are blind people who make incredible art and deaf people who make amazing music#having a disability is still not an excuse. and if it's really preventing you from creating art then do something else#im depressed and barely draw but i've learnt to do other creative stuff like gifs and edits#using your disability to defend something that hurts artist is honestly disgusting and anyone who does so should be ashamed of themselves
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i hate ai art i wish it could be destroyed forever. learn how to draw, paint, sculpt, make THINGS with your HANDS.
#angel.txt#i was gonna say 'learn how to draw your own porn' but this is a broader sentiment. learn how to draw. period.#ive become good ish at identifying it but its actually like. terrible that i have to think about it.#i wish every ai used to phase out creatives a very die forever.
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it's annoying when people think i'm stupid, boring, lazy, etc when I tell them I don't read. some people get so elitist about it and think they're above me and better than me because they can read 5 books in a week. "how can you not like to read! it's the best thing ever! *goes into an angry rant about why it's so good and I'm stupid for not doing it"
not everyone has the ability to enjoy reading, Karen. some of us are dyslexic and have adhd so it's nearly impossible for our brains to focus or retain any words we read and it's more effort than it's worth!!!!! some of us would read if we could do it as easily as you 馃槖
#it takes me 5 minutes to read a single page of a book when it takes orhers leas than a minute. then i have to read it at least 5 more times#before i even comprehend what i read or retain any of it#i'll finish reading a few pages and then realize i have no idea what even happened and have to reread them#then i get to where i stopped and realize i still have no idea what happened#on top of that i learned that most people can read a thing and see it in their heads like theyre watching a movie#so that's why most people prefer books over movies and enjoy getting lost in books. they enjoy creating their own movies essentially#i cant do that 馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶 i just see words on a page and that's boring. it's hard to follow along because i have to remember all the words#or i get lost and confused. but i can't retain it all. if i could make movies in my head i'd enjoy it more#i orefer watching things or if i do read then ill read a comic so i can see it.#ive tried listening to audio books and its better than reading it myself but i still struggle to follow along because i cant see it#im also very picky about how narration is done and what stories are about and how theyre written so i can never find anything i like馃槄#i find it super weird that i cant really see thing in my head but i have the craziest ans most vivid dreams?????#i imagine that's what seeing things in your mind looks like. i wish i could essentially have controlled dreams while awake lmao#WAIT MAYBE THAT'S WHY I WAS THE ONLY KID AMAZED BY DREAMS I HAD AND NO ONE ELSE CARED#they can see things like that whenever they want and i only do it while dreaming 馃槶#as an artist and someone who likes to write but feels im not creative enough to do anything....#if i could willingly see anything i want in my head as clearly as my vivid dreams id be unstoppable!!!!!#my dreams seem so creative and interesting. imagine if i could do that while awake. ugh why cant i 馃槶馃槶#people really take this ability to see things in their heads for granted lmao#lee rambles#adhd#dyslexia#books#reading
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I'm left-brained. I'm not doing all that shit.
#creativity for me#stem see you again#but we're divorced#big relief of a sigh#now as soon as ive come to this realisation will i find what im lookingfor in other peoples testimonies#typical and unsurprising really its the real beauty of life learning something new which opens and blows your mind with realisation underst#understanding and new thought#like sick i thought was already thinking new thoughts nope i was recycling#for how long who knows babe#doesn't matter
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