#i just dont have the time energy or motivation
Text
sksjdj this made me laugh!
i didnt know what to put on the mug, i didnt know what might symbolize madoka, so i just drew a little mini kyubey💀
but lets just say its merch, in a timeline where madoka is actually a huge fan of madoka magica. and the mc is...homura!!!!
i think i just made a super cool au
(thanks for more of the super kind words! im glad you like the way i draw! i'm trying my best to stick with the style of madoka magica while still incorporating my own style in there, hope its working)
#aghhh im so grateful#you are super nice#thanks for the motivation for me to draw more mm!!!!#ive been struggling with finding fandoms that i fit into recently#and im finding so many different things that im interested in that its too much for my brain#so i keep feeling overwhelmed that i have to draw EVERYTHING because i want to!!#i just dont have the time energy or motivation#all the while trying to stick to my roots with danganronpa#im slowly forgetting danganronpa and how much i have a passion for it and its stressing me out#as much as i want to grow as a person i genuinely want to keep up with danganronpa and learn more about it!#im just in a stage where im discovering a lot of different things such as madoka magica and its a lot#because i feel the need to create create create everything i see#every scenario i really want to draw!#but theres too much!!!#i didnt even have the motivation to draw danganronpa (my one and only fandom) for a long long time#but now that im starting off strong with mm#i think ill really be able to get some creativity out there#it makes me happy that my art is enjoyable by you and others so#seriously thank you so much for your words and excitement about the things i make bc i need that sometimes!#even if it seems small like im overreacting#it is just really nice to hear a total stranger say that they like the things i make#i know its not just to make me feel better and that its genuine#ive never really had social media or posted the things im passionate about ever#this is honestly super new to me#so yeah#a little means a lot#sorry for ranting i just wanted to say that haha ty for reading
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
The two halves of my updated ceiling display, currently at 600/1010 Pokemon
The first half goes from #001 Bulbasaur to #505 Watchog
The second half goes from #506 Lillipup to #1010 Iron Leaves
Currently I have crocheted way more Pokemon in the first half, so that side looks much fuller. I'm not sure when I'll be up to crocheting anything more, probably not anytime soon, I'm still considering this on hiatus, but I thought it would be nice to share the updated display.
#600 is a lot of pokemon lol#i still think about crocheting everyday#but i still dont have the energy for it#it is nice to be able to look at them all though#maybe one day itll be just the right time and give me the motivation to make something new#pokemon#crochet#amigurumi#plush#pokemon crochet
547 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think my biggest problem in time management is that i totally overestimate how much energy i have
#so for example ill be like Oh ill play one game. and sometimes i do play more than one lol#but a lot of the time i get to the end of that game and... im too tired to do anything dhbdjdj????#i dont know if its mental or physical but. theres a problem lmao#hmmm i guess if i try to switch it around. but hmmm.#i want to say 'maybe its just about motivation i bet if u switched the tasks around u would#have enough energy left to play a game' but that doesnt necessarily say anything about motivation#it might just mean eg 1 hour drawing takes less energy#also really fucking annoying how autocorrect doesnt want to work in tags
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
they don't know that my fanseason project is basically cancelled
#my rambles#rip to the 2 ppl who were interested in my fanseasons#it's been a wild couple years and i need to focus on other aspects of my life#and also i just dont have the time motivation or energy to tell the story i wanted to tell#though i do have a good life update#ive been taking anti depressants and its been helping tremendously#and ill still make art and fandom content when i feel energetic abt it#but ya
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trying to learn new programs like they all want me to die personally
#ravings at the square#im trying rlly hard to learn things with the little time I have 👍#some people are just more gifted than me. have more patience and motivation or idk cos goddamn#the prospect of learning how to make a game and working at the same time is so hellish I cant even bring myself to DRAW or write when#working full time. energy drained fr. but ok. i will be optimistic#if u see me whine and cry in two weeks no u dont#learning unity btw. i want. to create my silly little games.#Thats what I want the most in the world is to create. and if nobody will give me the opportunity to do so ill create it myself#Something so so so scary about being nearly 30 and having no direction in life and realizing you haven't mounted to anything but I'm not#dead yet so I still have a chance 👍 I can still create beautiful things as long Im kicking
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
Why don't you make full paintings in stylized semi realism anymore?
i dont make anything anymore man [crying emoji]
#actual answer is that im in a very low place#ive been doing commissions of very similar things for years now and its wearing on me a bit#im feeling very lost and directionless and bored with life outside of school and commissions eat up all of my motivation#but yknow i Gotta cuz now im repaying student loans#the repetition is killing me. the perfectionism is killing me. the chemical imbalances are KILLING me#but yeah basically i dont have time or energy or drive to explore anymore#im sure ill get better at some point im just struggling right now and have been for a bit#[shaking like a chihuahua
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
(๑╥﹏╥)੭ ♡
#❛ㅤ𓆩✦𓆪ㅤ:ㅤooc﹔ㅤㅤ/ㅤㅤchaos and aether simpery.#tbd /#ive been really Really low on social energy and Motivation in general#not kinda like in a burnout way! but close-ish#so i wanted to apologise for the time i take in getting back to messages / servers / threads#but also kinda like#appreciate how patient and understanding you all are with me ;;;;;;#i know a lot of us suffer from anxiety / depression / issues in general and i find it amazing how we're all trying our best#despite adversities and what comes our ways#i have this cyclical issue of burnout happening over and over and i dont remember my last genuine vacation#so it means a lot that i have friends and partners that can like! understand and wait for me ;;;;;;#it genuinely means a lot to me!!! makes me feel like i belong somewhere#despite its issues the genpact rpc was the one that im having the most fun in. and the one i feel like people understand#so thanks for being so lovely with me!!!#I'll slowly get back to DMs / threads / asks etc <333#just need to die a lil beforehand sksmflgmg kokomi is just like me frfr#vent /#just in case!
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
We miss your fics doll💞💞💞
i miss them too </3 ill try to get something done soon but i fear this is another long hiatus that og followers have already gone through once
#! doll takes notes !#! sessions !#IM SORRY i just dont got time or motivation to write like i used to#summer ended so its like. time to study lots for school yk ?#i wish i had the time i just dont. school has taken all my attention and energy so i have nothing left to spend on writing jeff noncon LMAO#stepcest is still in my mind tho ill vomit out a drab at some point on the topic
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
nap afterglow is crazy because why am i suddenly not quite there. not in the negative way, in the fuzzy way you get something warm to eat (soup) after truly banger sleep and everything feels so much more tolerable. nice, even. it feels like nostalgia, but it's obviously not because you are currently in that moment. it's that distinct feeling of being somewhere between consciousness and blessedly unaware and also that sort of pleasant blurriness you only get after taking a long ass nap that makes you feel more well rested than you have in three weeks and also you know you're ready to wake up now that you've finally caught up on all those lost zs but your body isn't quite convinced yet so you just kinda drift for a while and eat some soup and feel like you're living in a memory.
#go take a nap#its worth it i promise#dont put on an alarm and dont worry about any tasks youve been leaving unfinished because you simply dont have the energy#its either you dont do the task and feel miserable about it#or#you can not do the task and be napping yourself out of the misery#who knows maybe youll find the motivation to finish the task after a nap#nap into the next day if you want to#napping is a vibe not a constricted time frame is what i always say#i dont say that#i just lie for fun#my point is go take the nap!#lethe's slow descend into insanity
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
status of the now. i have not slept its 5am
#i am so tired but theres so much i need to do and i wont get it done if i sleep#because like ive been putting off showering and cleaning for multiple days now because i keep blacking out#and then shocker! person with chronic pain and probable heart issues is too tired to do anything but doomscroll in bed eat and then pass out#i wish i was like seven again so i could get rewarded for very menial tasks#give me a small dollar tree knick knack for brushing my teeth#i did not get knick knacks for chores at age seven but hypothetically#not a depressive episode but ive had zero motivation for anything lately#and i think its just because of my poor self care as of the past few weeks#its so hard to stay. in a routine though when you need to sit on the floor because you wiped down the counters#showering is such an ordeal i always narrowly avoid passing out#i need a shower chair probably but my parents would be pissy so sigh#also i dont own one#told alfie this already but i should invest in a walker#theres dust building in my room again too because i dont have the energy to stand on a chair and clean it#that and the last time i stood on a chair and blacked out and fell off#love being disabled slash ess#skyler posting#sorry for the rant this is my diary you understand
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
do you think if i went to college id have the opportunity to hang out with friends and kiss cute boys. is this where im gonna need to find the motivation to go to college
#everytime i go to therapy its always the same thing my therapist just talks about how i need to stop mopping and doing nothing#and go to college and do something with my life. its what my friends and my parents say too and what i know i should do#but my response is always ''i dont know'' and i dont make any plans or do anything#i dont know. i have nothing im interested in enough to study. nothing i want to go to college for. nothing id like to work with forever#i cant get the energy to leave my bed and i cant imagine getting the energy to study hard for several years and then work hard forever#with how i feel right now i cant imagine myself having the energy or the strength or the motivation or the focus to do anything like that#all i spend my time hoping for is just the general idea of feeling better. i want to make friends i want to hang out#i want to date i want to transition i want to play videogames i want to live by myself and not have to worry about money or about my parents#but i imagine these distant things refusing to admit that to achieve them i need to do these impossible things first#so i come back to having to think of college. and im stuck again#blehhh#ALSO SORRY FOR THE TONE SHIFT BTW the original text post was supposed to be a joke but then i start actually ranting in the tags
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
me when i ship zhaohan 😔 there's next to no content unless i'm just not looking in the right spots
be the change you want to see in the world my man.... if i can trick people into thinking masadai is real then i know you can rally the troupes with them lovable goobers......
#snap chats#zhao and yeonsu ARE cute to me tho thats the thing. theyre so sillay#i dont have many ideas with them but i love drawing them together when i get the motivation#i love drawing zhao and joon-gi honestly since Like Ichi i draw them kinda differently from everyone else#/kinda differently/ zhao's a foot tall motherfucker#BUT NO with joon-gi i want him to be a bishounen protag... so it's fun giving him all those sparklies and anime energy...#tho it'd be more appropriate to go for a manhwa art style huh#something to practice me thinks...#REGARDLESS i believe in you anon..... get that propaganda flowing you'll gather a small group in no time...#if you're sick enough in the head <- me#oh but if you arnet confident or know what to do yet !!!! pixiv and twitter generally has a good amount of art for them#i know i happen upon zhao and joon-gi art when i scroll through twitter sometimes#of course you have to follow eastern artists but they ALWAYS have The Best And Most Delicious Shit#they never miss they're the only artists i follow on twitter im p sure LMAO#if you don't know what artists to follow on twitter though pixiv's your best friend#some people are scared of her but not me...... i'm too numb to everything... plus she does have a LOT of good stuff there#'趙ハン' is the zhaohan tag on there. there's 101 works but i know not every thing is tagged sometimes#like a lot of arakawa fam stuff isn't tagged 'arakawa family' or even 'arakawa'- just generally 'yakuza' or 'rgg' and stuff like that#just gotta do a lil digging my friend ! best of luck to you ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
man i love how people are like "guys you're all mischaracterizing this person. stop the slander/where is the slander, you guys are always ignoring something something + this other character did something something" and then proceed to mischaracterize that other character in that same post with them getting really annoyed about mischaracterization like. sorry what
#cozm textpost#writing#i was originally gonna ramble a shit ton in the tags#mostly about bsd cause i wrote this with bsd in mind lmao#even if it was meant to be fandomless#but then i felt like i was becoming the people i was complaining about so i just stopped lol#i have it saved on some random google doc its fine#if you are interested please ask lmao#also sorry for not posting art in a while i dont have the motivation to draw#plus a friend commissioned me#anddddd i dont have the time or energy because i only know how to procrastinate 😭#oh well. also proseka took over my life momentarily#okay bye bye i will come back with more maybe. in the future who knows
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
when will my writing motivation return from the war 😭
#please i just wanna post the next chapter#or at the very least start a oneshot or do literally anything#ive been more tired than usual and i dont like that#im ALWAYS so so tired#sometimes YEAH its because im up til 3 or even 4#but ive also slept 9 hours. 12 hours. and yet ill STILL feel so tired#im too tired to do the things i want to do#and then i feel like ive just wasted my whole day :(((#how many times these past few weeks have i said im gonna get this chapter done huh? and it is NOT done#i love creating and writing but it takes so much energy sometimes :((( and i just dont have it :(((#i feel bad/down -> writing would help me feel better -> too tired/unmotivated to write -> doesnt write -> keeps feeling bad#rinse and repeat lmao#sometimes being nice to urself and waiting for the motivation doesnt work#sometimes u gotta sit at ur desk with a massive mug of coffee and say ''i will WRITE if its the last thing i fucking do''#screw quality its time to write WORDS#anyway. im making myself coffee rn. i will get through this dammit#summer post
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
shaking kurt by the shoulders
#i wanna write i wanna write i wanna#i have muse i have muse for everyone i write i wanna write i have desire to write i have motivation to write#there is just a. there is a wall#i think theres. i think its been so long since i really wrote and was active here that it feels.#i feel like i need to revamp restart redo it all#but at the same time. i cant. its#theres a very#i revamped a lot in the past and i dont wanna be like that again#but also i jsut. i do not have the time to#i used to spend like 10 hours a day on revamps and graphics and shit#and these days sometimes making a silly little shitpost on mobile takes all the energy i have#im trying bc this is a very important hobby to me and i dont wanna lose it#people whove been around know i tend to fade a lot during like. september-november bc that used to be exam season#ive never had a start of year slump tho. idk maybe its bc i didnt have uni so my brains delayed the slump#but im still working every day doing more than i ever did in uni so#idk who knows who cares gonna go watch a silly little movie and get over myself a bit lmao its not that serious
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
strawberri-draws
Strawberridraws :D
kittiesblanketfort
kittie’s blanket fort ★
becomingjackson-blog
Gay Leg
mod-rainfrog
𝓜𝓸𝓭 𝓡𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓰
teplo-heat
Тепловые насосы Тепло-Heat