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#ive been talking about it for 6 months now was an actual issue that desperately needs medical treatment
theodore-lasso · 1 year
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#the closest thing that seems to describe my relationship with dysphoria lately is chronic pain and i know its not 100%#but theres not a single second of the day that it doesn't cause me mental/emotional distress or like it's VERY rare#and i can almost feel it like a physical pain now#it feels so dramatic but like it's fucking. life threatening.#i run out of spoons so quickly#and im struggling to see the difference between a physical condition getting worse and smth like dysphoria which#when its bad or like even when its not that bad makes me want to kill myself#ive been talking about it for 6 months now was an actual issue that desperately needs medical treatment#but the fact that its woven in with mental illness and so enmeshed with depression and anxiety has made it almost impossible for me#dysphoria has essentially blocked me from everything i love and all my coping mechanisms that i usually use for my mental health#i cant spend time with ppl bc it makes me dysphoric i cant sing bc i can't listen to my voice i cant meet new ppl or do new things#any energy i was spending on catching up with old friends or friends i only saw irregularly is fkn gone#like its disappeared i can't fucking do it#which of course isolates me and makes my mental health worse#its just the compounding issues that make each other worse and the answer is to relieve my dysphoria#and then i can slowly start to rebuild as a person#but this whole fucking period has been so damaging to me#to be out for years and suddenly be so mentally ill that your brain challenges things it knows are true and starts saying#youre just a mentally ill woman every time you look in the mirror.#like thats a fucking horror movie#its isolation its doubting reality its exhaustion and normalised suicidality and kinda disordered eating and just. holding on#like i cant build anything new in this state im just treading water#idk i think i didnt realise what dysphoria was before. i think people downplay it to make trans people more palatable#or you only see people talk about it post transition#or you only hear ways to alleviate it#you dont really hear all the ways you just have to live with it. and you do. voice dysphoria is my biggest issue for sure#and i cannot get around it#so ive stopped one of my number one hobbies and sources of joy - music and singing. which was a big way id get around anxiety#because you have to breathe properly to sing#im running outta tags i just didnt wanna put this in a post but. yeah listen its rough out here buddy lmfao and it has been for. a while
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balenciagastones · 3 years
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hi im kinda new to this can you pls explain to me why everybody hates lauryn? all i know is she wants kyle to be a dad and he isn't
here we go! putting this under the cut so i don’t flood people’s dash who don’t care <3
okay so bit of backstory first cos im gonna try and do this in chronological order, she is chloe goodman’s sister and she used to go out with marcus rashford’s brother, apart from that she was pretty much a nobody. i also dk how much you know about kyle but basically he’s been with annie for agessss and they have 3 sons together. at the start of 2020 it came out that lauryn was pregnant with a mystery england footballer’s baby and it was kept a secret who it was for ages and just said that they were in a whirlwind romance and the baby was a miracle because she has endometriosis and pos meaning she would struggle to conceive naturally. it was outed cos of pap photos that have been said were staged by her, pretty much the whole of this has been staged by her tbh but it was later announced that the baby daddy was kyle walker and all hell broke loose tbh.
all throughout her pregnancy and a bit after the baby was born she wouldn’t reveal the gender but constantly baited it and hyped it up and drew a lot of attention to the baby’s gender (a little bit of backstory to this is that annie obviously has 3 boys as we said before but she always always wanted a girl and has always been v public with that fact, she also had a miscarriage which wasn’t talked about until after the baby was born but hindsight makes this whole gender situation worse but back to the story). her sister was also pregnant at the same time as her and was public saying she was having a girl so lauryn used to post stories with girls’ baby clothes and pink things in basically to just bait she was having a girl when she knew all along it was a boy, there’s literally no reason for this apart from her wanting to spite annie and imply that she was having a girl baby with the man she loved to hurt her for no reason.
cut forward to when the baby is born and she starts to promote these bracelets which have different ones for different situations, so she has one for anxiety, one for sleep, one for fertility (you can see where this is going) and there’s a few points with these scam bracelets. first off she came out and said she was wearing one at the time she slept with kyle so this baby perhaps wasn’t so much an accident on her part as she was manifesting fertility and that she’d become pregnant basically, take from that what you will but it was clearly her intention to fall pregnant with his baby when she knew he was with another woman long term and had 3 little boys with her. and the second part to it is just what an absolute scam those bracelets are, they’re not cheap and they target vulnerable groups of people and profit off their struggles which is obviously so immoral and disgusting when a fuckin bead bracelet clearly can’t make you fertile or make you sleep better or any of this shit, it’s taking advantage of people in desperate need and taking money from vulnerable people, it’s awful.
so now the baby is born and she’s said it’s a boy but hasn’t announced the name and allegedly didn’t pick the name until he was 4 months old or something, but she decides that they need a name to call him so decide to say his name is junior. now you can immediately see the issue with this, she’s been banging on for the whole of her pregnancy that she’s a single mother and he’s not involved blah blah blah then calls him junior, which ofc people asked if the name was kyle junior and she as much as said it was and started referring to him as junior until she posted a video of the baby holding a necklace that said KW. obviously calling your baby junior implies that they have the dad’s name and are the jr version of the dad so when she posted the KW necklace alongside a caption that said ‘for those asking why it doesn’t say JW, KW are his true initials’ ofc everybody assumed his name was kyle walker junior, and she let this go on for 6 MONTHS. she wore this necklace that says KW everywhere it’s lit in all of her instagram photos, it literally came across as a trophy just shouting that she got knocked up by kyle walker and just using it as a constant reminder to anyone and everyone that her baby was half famous footballer kyle walkers regardless of whether he was involved or not, baring in mind in the same breath she’s continuing to go on about how she’s a single mother and doing it all on her own. her saying she’s doing it all on her own is a load of shit too because her family helps her constantly and she always has someone looking after him with her and she lives in a big fancy house so she’s putting across she’s struggling and a single mother out on her own but that’s not the truth.
she also kept giving questionable parenting advice out on her story and endorsing products and methods that weren’t the most effective and weren’t recommended, even a blanket method that im sure was said to be harmful and she’s promoted many products that she shouldn’t have just in the name of money and fame and clout, she isn’t qualified to be giving out parenting advice to the scale she is and i understand she’s gotten experience but she talks like she’s a professional and holds q&as giving advice she’s not qualified to give and considering she promotes half dodgy products, it’s not the best situation. two more random things before we’re caught up to what’s happened today, she put the baby in a city jersey then the next week put him in a liverpool jersey just to spite kyle LMAO and they all went on holiday to dubai and im pretty sure paparazzi isnt allowed in dubai that’s why all the celebs go there but she was papped there so she must’ve set that up too lmaoooooo. but now we’re at today.
basically it started by kyle posting a picture of his own personal football boots that he played in for the final match of the season im sure, and he had printed on the names and dates of birth of all 3 kids he had with annie, and as you can quite imagine, lauryn wasn’t very happy with this. so she went straight on her stories preaching how horrific it was that he didn’t include kairo’s name on his boots and he’s done nothing but he cute and innocent and kyle was ‘bullying’ his own son which is obvs the wrong word to use but she’s daft and has been throwing around the word bullying, and talking about how she won’t let their son be left out, baring in mind she constantly says how she’s a single mother and prides herself on that she doesn’t have him involved and that he’s a horrible person etc etc. so all of her little minions who love her started replying to her story saying he was disgusting blah blah blah and decided as a collective with her encouragement to spam his page with kairo’s name and demand justice for kairo or something so after he got a few comments he turned the comments off from the post about the boots so they went to his first post before the boots which was a memorial post for the victims of the manchester arena attack. fully grown women commenting on a memorial post for such a tragic event demanding to know where kairos name was or spamming his name letter by letter, first off it’s just batshit crazy but second off how disrespectful?? from lauryn as well to encourage it and think of nobody but herself and want the attention because realistically it wasn’t gonna achieve anything but slightly irk him that he had to turn the comments off.
she’s also been encouraging people to email puma themselves and demand to know why they did it as if they had any input on what kyle had on his personal boots, puma probably had no idea about any of this and certainly didn’t do it on purpose to cause a storm so there’s no reason for them to be complaining to puma. she posted a list of what she wanted to happen including kyles post to be removed, the boots to be pulled (i don’t think she realises they were just personal boots for kyle and not a product for the general public to buy), a public apology to kairo and a public statement to be put out, none of which would solve the greater situation or help the situation that’s already been caused.
she posted saying kyle was bullying the baby and mentally abusing him which is disgusting to be throwing around when that’s not the case at all cos in reality kyles just trying to mend his relationships with annie and his family while keeping lauryn and the baby out of it like she keeps going on about, but then when it comes down to it she uses his surname, posts about it 24/7, wants his name on his boots, uses him for clout, walks around with a KW necklace on etc etc etc. most recently she’s created a petition to get pumas attention to do all of what i listed before and i think about 600 people have signed it so far.
i think that’s all although im sure anons will chip in if ive missed anything, that’s if anybody’s actually read this far 😭 so yes, more than you bargained for probably anon! story time with han! xx
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biznichwrites · 5 years
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Hi, how are you? I hope fine! ❤️ I have (a little strange) a request. Can you write a one shot about Giyuu and reader being together, but reader finds out Giyuu is kissing another girl and runs away, with Giyuu following her, but reader ends up being hit by a car and she is in coma but then she wakes up and all happy and fluffy things in the end? Thank you, and sorry for the bother! ❤️
My one shot skills are a little rusty, I haven't written a true fan fic in about… 6 or 7 years LOOOOOL but I'll give it a try! I’m sorry I haven’t written this one for you yet, it left me a bit stumped for some reason. 
I put this under a cut because it came out to be like 5 pages long (WHOOPS I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING)
Giyuu wasn’t one to kiss others, typically. He was always loyal, typically. The boyfriend you bragged to others about, typically. But typical wouldn’t over this situation now, would it?
Or at least that’s how you rationalized what you were seeing. You were coming to meet Giyuu for a party after classes and work, but you desperately asked him to come so you couldn’t back out now, even though you really wanted to. Maybe you could make an appearance and dip, you doubt your boyfriend would have an issue with that. As you walked up to the party you tried to call him to receive no answer, not to mention your texts from earlier weren’t answered as well. Well, that was odd, but maybe he took the initiative and went to the party ahead of you! 
Pocketing your phone you walked up to the party and things fell into a hush. Well shit, that’s awkward. Shinobu was the first to snatch you from the crowds of the party and bring you to a quiet hallway.
“What the actual hell is going on?” The cute butterfly clip in her hair betrayed the strain in her voice.
“What are you talking about? I told you I was coming to the party and dragging Giyuu along.”
“Ah, well it seems there’s a miscommunication going around.” With a twist of your face and a confused tilt of your head she continued. “We were told you weren’t coming, but things should be fine.”
“Should be?” The short woman was always a mystery and full of sass, so you didn’t question much. Before you could even get a breath and leave the hall Mitsuri made her way down to you. Was something really that bad?
“I was so worried about you when I heard! I had no idea what was going on.” The pink haired woman had obviously had a couple of drinks and seemed as if she were floating. 
“No one told me what happened and now I’m getting anxious. All day I’ve been at class then work, is anyone going to tell me?”
“Shinobu didn’t say?” A gasp flew from the other woman’s lips. “It was said you an Giyuu broke up!”
“WHAT?”
No. No, no, no. Not an option, you were going to be together forever. 
“Someone was showing messages from you that said you didn’t want to see him again. But now I think about it, there wasn’t really any way to prove who it was…”
You wanted more detailed but you heard Giyuu’s voice though the party goers. So he showed up without you? With a rushed apology to the love guru of the dorms you bolted off to find him. You found him in the kitchen of the frat house, pouring himself two drinks. Two??? He didn’t look especially sad, or happy, or really anything. 
You couldn’t say the same for yourself. There was some rage, to put it lightly. Especially as he turned towards you a girl popped up, pulling his face to hers to grab a few sloppy drunk kisses. 
THAT BITCH. She had always been trying for Giyuu long before the two of you got together. You were so mad that you froze. You could hear two voices from behind you, sounding awfully like the women you spoke to earlier. 
“See, Giyuu, I told you that wasn’t real. No one other than her would-” Whatever snide comment Shinobu was going to make died on her tongue as she came to the scene.  You rage took a deep plunge, spiralling out of control in mere seconds.
So if you broke up with him he had someone to replace you that night? Was that really all you meant to him? And with a girl you never trusted to begin with? Even your friends knew better, but he, of all people, didn’t?
Tears blurred your eyes as his own locked with yours, making time stand still for a moment, and you darted past the crowds. You wanted to go home, you didn’t need to be here. Misturi called for you but it just made you run faster. Not today, you couldn’t deal with this right now. You made your way through the house, ignoring calls of your apparent ex-boyfriend.
You just wanted to make it to your car, at least you could shut everyone out and find some semblance of stability enough to drive home. Right as you hit the street you heard his voice calling clearly, something about wait, and despite your better judgement your head swung around to look at him. Why did he have such a horrified face on?
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You woke up in a weird room. What the fuck is going on? Jesus, everything hurt. Why did your body feel so strange? A choked groan left your lips as your eyes adjusted to the light. This sucked, from what you could tell you were in the hospital. You didn’t even remember much about how you got here. Did you get black out drunk? Someone spike a drink with LSD and you tripped way too hard?
With effort you brought your hands up to itch your eyes. Well it was a shitty enough night, all things considered, you needed to get out of here and go home. When you went to stand up some alarms went off and you couldn’t stop the pounding in your head that followed.
“Damn, just shut up.” Your voice sounded scratchy, like it didn’t belong to you, but that was the least of your problems. With a huff you turn towards the door to get a nurse to turn off the machine, but Giyuu is standing there, looking shocked. Why was he looking at you like that? You’d just seen him a couple of days ago before class. 
You’d never seen him move so fast. Everything in his hands was on the floor and he ran up to you and scooped you up in a hug. What was that noise? Was he crying? You would move your arms to push him back to see if he was okay, but the sheer number of IVs in your arms stopped you. 
“I was so worried you wouldn’t wake up.” His lips brushed your temple and it left you in a state of shock. He was never so affectionate, not in any amount of time you’d been with him. Strange. “Let me get the nurses so they could discharge you.”
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If you were to be honest the whole thing was a haze. The next day you were allowed to come home after a few scans. In fact it wasn’t until your discharge paperwork rested on your lap did you even realize it was going on. When the doctors said you had “been out for a while” you had expected a day or two, not 3 fucking months.
On your way out of the hospital you were absolutely losing your shit. Your job, your classes, your bills, THE PLACE YOU LIVE. Oh fuck, your life is over. Giyuu picked you up but you were getting car sick fast, but the glances you saw weren’t going to your place. 
“Giyuu… Uh, where are we going?”
“Home.” So eloquent, a man of few words. “I’ll explain when we get home”
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You sat on his bed, looking at your belongings filling the once empty space of his room. He said he had things figured out, this isn’t what you had expected in the least.
“You might be upset with me.” Maybe, things were just weird as hell now. 
“I talked with your parents to make sure you were taken care of.” Shocking, considering he never really spoke to them, even during visits. 
“So um… Your stuff is here. To make sure your account didn’t overdraw from rent your parents broke the contract.” Probably the only reason your phone was still working. 
“Your classes… I finished them.”
“What?” You could only take so much, like damn.
“Your parents had them transferred to online versions, so I completed them for you. It was too late to withdraw and I know you didn’t want an F on the finals”
You didn’t know how to respond. Of course he said he loved you, but he really meant it. Like REALLY meant it.
“Giyuu-”
“I’m sorry. For everything.”
He didn’t really go past that, but he didn’t seem to want to let you go. 
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“I know I shouldn’t have.” Finally he told you what happened. He hid his face behind his hands, but you could still tell his eyes were on the verge of tears. “I was hoping to see you there, I wanted to see you face to face. I shouldn’t have started drinking, I should have thought about you.” 
You hadn’t seen him cry over anything so much, especially for your sake. Even the anniversary of his sister passing didn’t get such a reaction. Slowly you moved closer, as best as you could where you were with recovery. 
“Giyuu, it’s okay.”
“It’s not.” He huffed, but at least he was looking up at you.
“Well, yes and no. It wasn’t an okay experience, but things worked out, right?” Your hand rose to his cheek, cupping it as you brushed away a stray tear.
“Things working out, like I ruined your life?” He looked over, seeing a few faint marks along your body that weren’t there before. “I don’t know how to live with myself for letting this happen to you.”
You shut him up with a soft kiss. He really couldn’t deny you, now especially.
“I love you, Giyuu.”
“I love you, too.” 
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beeexx · 4 years
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Set after 2x6, Alex and Kyle talk about things.
You can read it here  on my ao3 too. Just a little snippet I wrote after everything so to say.
“I need a friend.” That’s the words Alex wakes up to when he finally crawls out of his bedroom to open the door to Kyle’s persistent ringing. His cheek has a crease from sleeping in a weird position on his pillow and his hair is sleep tousled.
At the sight of Alex Kyle’s eyebrow shoots upwards and his mouth open.
“Wait, were you sleeping?” Alex is too tired to feel bothered by the fact that he is indeed only wearing sweatpants and a blanket wrapped around himself.
“Maybe.” He mutters
“Dude, it’s like 1pm.”
“Yeah well…”
“Okay, maybe you need a friend too, can I come in?” Alex bites back the reply of we’re not friends which threatens to escape. Also, the fact that he steps aside to let Kyle in probably means they are. From behind him Kyle picks up two plastic bags and sidesteps Alex to get inside. 
“Just make yourself comfortable.” He mutters to the empty space and closes it slowly. His brain really hasn’t woken up enough for this. He walks into his bedroom and puts on a t-shirt and an old ratty jumper lying at the back of his closet. When he finally makes it to the kitchen where Kyle is he decides that Kyle and him are definitely friends because a cup of hot steaming coffee is pushed into his hands. He can’t help the moan he lets out at the sip he takes. Kyle just chuckles and leans back against the counter, looking happy. 
“So, what’s up?”
“Ugh, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay, if you’re not here to talk about it then why are you here?”
“Well it was this, the gym or gettin drunk, and before you ask, yes I already tried the gym. It didn’t do the trick. And the second option being alcohol, it is 1pm and I am not in the habit of getting drunk at that time, and I also have a job to go to tomorrow and I didn’t think you would appreciate getting drunk with me. Because, well because you have a job to go to as well. So I had to get creative and hanging out honestly seemed like the best option I had.”
Alex takes another sip.
 “Should I feel offended by the fact that I rank the lowest on that list?” 
“I thought you might say that so I bought bribing material.” He looks through one of the plastic bags and holds up a couple of Airheads and a packet of flaming hot Cheetos. Kyle wiggle his eyebrows.
“Yeah that is definitely not bad bragging material.” Alex puts the coffee down and takes the snacks off Kyle.
“I haven’t had Airheads in so long.”
“They used to be your favourite when we grew up.”
“You remember?” Alex is actually surprised to hear that.
“Of course I remember. I don’t even know why you like them so much but today I am definitely not judging because on the way here I stopped and probably bought mine and your weights combined in snacks.”
“You really must be having a bad day.” Alex laughs.
“I drove all the way here and brought enough snacks to give me diabetes in 20 years time, so yes I definitely am.” Kyle says and picks out a bag of Moams from the bags. Alex peeks over his shoulder to see that Kyle definitely wasn’t lying. The bags or filled up with different kinds of snacks to honestly last Alex 6 months. 
“Did you at least bring anything to drink with all of this?”
Kyle replies by taking out a six packs of Mountain Dew and Coke and Alex shakes his head but goes for the Mountain Dew.
“I haven’t had this shit since I was a kid, that’s for sure.” He takes out a glass and hands one to Kyle before he fills his glass up with the soda. He takes a sip and it tastes just like he remembers, sickly sweet. He takes an even bigger sip.
“So, what’s next then?”
“I have thought of that too my friend.” Kyle says and apparently he has because what he does next is that he he puts a stack of DVDs in front of Alex and steps back.
“Wow, you really have.” Alex leans over and looks at the selection. He spots Back to the Future at the top. 
“I have.”
“Star Wars? Really?” Alex holds the DVD up.
“Oh yes, I am desperate enough to watch Star Wars, that should tell you something.”
“Yeah, but Star Wars, that’s a new level even for you.”
Kyle snorts and pops some popcorn into his mouth. 
“I didn’t know you even owned this.” Kyle shrugs.
“I bought them a while back but I’ve not really had the time to watch them.”
“I see… well you know what sure. Let’s watch Star Wars.” Alex picks up one of the bags along with his snacks and walks into the living room, Kyle in tow. 
“This is a nice place.” Kyle notes as he lays himself down onto the couch like he owns the place. Alex lets him, just because he’s having a day. He sits down on the other end and opens up the Cheetos. 
“Thanks.”
“The military pay for this?”
“Yeah.”
“Hm, not bad.”
Alex picks up the DVD.
“Are you sure you want to watch this?”
“I’m probably the only 28 year old who hasn’t seen Star Wars, I feel like I’m missing out on part of my culture.”
“I mean yeah you probably are the only person our age who hasn’t seen this. You know you’re supposed to start with episode IV right?”
“What? How does that make any sense. Why?” 
Alex laughs at the obvious confusion Kyle seems to feel over this.
“George Lucas had the idea for Star Wars for a long time and while he was making the first film he had already figured out a lot of the backstory and what happened before it. But because he wasn’t sure it wouldn’t completely flop he waited to make the others after the success was already certain of the three first films.”
The room’s silent and Kyle’s looking at him like he’s slightly insane.
“Okay, you asked.” Alex says, his cheeks only heating a little.
“Yeah, no, okay that was totally on me. I did ask.”
Alex replies by chucking a Cheetos at his face and Kyle’s reflexes kick in and he catches it mid air. He looks proud and Alex just rolls his eyes. 
“Okay, are you sure you want to spend the afternoon watching Star Wars of all things? I’m sure I can find something that you’d actually enjoy.”
“Nope, I’m certain.” Alex relents and puts on episode IV. He’s having a little bit of a hard time  believing this whole to be fair but whatever if Kyle doesn’t want to talk about it then he’s not going to push him. 
Alex lasts about 40 minutes of munching snacks and drinking Coke like he’s 15 again, and a part of him enjoys it because he doesn’t have to think about…...things……. but he’s been living by his own motto when it comes to everyone which is that he left bullshit in Iraq. He sighs and presses pause.
“Hey, that Luke person was just about to do some training with the erm stick….oooo lightsaber, why did you turn it off?”
Alex is surprised Kyle actually seems to have grasped what is going on.
“The fact that you’re keeping up tells me this is serious enough that we need to have a conversation.”
Kyle’s eyes widens and he slumps down in his seat and crosses his arms.
“Are you pouting like a child??”
“No.” The tone is so petulant Alex laughs.
“Come on, what’s going on? I’m trying to be a friend now. For real totally trying.” Kyle grimaces
“I’d rather watch Luke Skytalker.”
“Walker.”
“Yeah, whatever, I’d rather watch him and Han Solo save Carrie Fisher.”
“Princess Leia, also you know who Carrie Fisher is?”
“Of course I know who she is, I was a jock but I wasn’t blind.”
Alex can buy that.
“Nope, we’re still talking.”
Kyle sighs and lies down completely on the couch. 
“Okay, well the other day was definitely weird. I’ve been avoiding Liz because, well I am struggling a little bit with having to deal with her choosing Max and me doing her every bidding which is clearly not healthy so I went to this gay bar just to get away a little from everything and I ran into Isobel. Now I like Isobel, and we danced and had a good time and then we were totally gonna sleep with each other but I chickened out because I kind of like this other girl so I went back to the hospital to see if she was still around only to find out that she was in surgery, all alone without telling me anything…. and I’ve been feeling kind of off since.” He rambles on.
“Wait, did you just tell me you went to a gay bar?” Alex cannot believe this. Kyle groans and hides his face.
“My hopes were that you would hyper focus on me and Isobel almost sleeping together rather than the gay bar part.”
“Oh you and Isobel almost sleeping together that doesn’t surprise me one bit to be honest. I thought it would happen sooner than this.”
“....what?” Kyle shouts.
“But you, Kyle ‘Hyper Masculine’ Valenti went to a gay bar?”
“Can we focus on the other parts of the story?”
“No, definitely not.”
“Ugh, well I’m very comfortable in myself and my sexuality thank you very much but even us straight guys enjoy putting glitter on our faces from time to time.”
“Oh my god.” Alex laughs, loving this. “You had glitter on your face?”
“Totally.”
“Please tell me you have pictures.”
“Sorry.”
“Well that’s just a crime, you went to a gay bar with glitter on your face and didn’t take any photos?”
“You can just come with me next time and see.”
“Honestly I might, it sounds very tempting.” Alex jokes and Kyle smiles. 
“Back to the issue please.”
“What is the issue exactly?”
“I don’t even know, I like Steff and I thought we had something going on. But now I’m worried about her too, and then the whole Isobel thing and it’s all just messed with my head.”
“I don’t mean to make it into a competition over who’s had a worse day out of the two of us, but I honestly think I win.” Alex says without thinking. His eyes widen and he shakes his head.
“No I mean nothing by that.”
“Pfft, you left bullshit in Iraq, well I left bullshit in high school, so what’s going on? I’m only going to assume it has something to do with you staying in bed like a teenager to 1pm.”
“I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this... Well I went with Maria to find out more information about her mom’s disappearance and we ended up in the middle of nowhere with this crazy guy who stabbed me in the chest and chased Maria through a cornfield. Michael came later too, but Maria had already disabled the guy by then and I was mostly fine. Then we find out the crazy guy has a twin who is well, not crazy and shoots his brother in front of us and tells us to call an ambulance and then get the hell out of there. Which we do and then after coming down from the adrenaline of almost dying well, I have a threesome with Maria and Michael….”
Kyle spits the soda out. 
“What the fuck?!”
“So I win then?”
“Oh totally, but also what the fuck? You had what now? A threesome?”
“Yeah.” Alex runs a hand through his hair and avoids looking at Kyle. 
“But you’re gay.”
“Yeah definitely.”
“Erm so why? I mean not that I’m against threesomes, you do you if you know what I mean. I am however having a little bit of trouble understanding why you slept with the love of your life and your best friend in this world?”
Alex tries not to flinch at the words because he’s kind of tried to stay in denial about the whole goddamn thing and when it’s put in the terms of love of your life and best friend in the whole world it sound really stupid.
He shrugs.
“I just… I just… I don’t know I didn’t want to be alone after everything that had just happened. I mean getting stabbed is not something that’s ever happened to me. It wasn’t exactly common when I was deployed so getting sneaked up on and then assaulted wasn’t something I wanted to go home to an empty house with. I have enough PTSD already and that was just doomed to set of insomnia for a while. So staying was better than leaving and then one thing led to another.”
“Wow man...that’s tough. How are you feeling?”
“How often do you think I end up sleeping to 1pm?”
“So, is this one of those instances where I have to go beat Michael up?”
Despite all it makes Alex smile. He feels grateful for Kyle.
“No it wasn’t his fault. And also we’re not in high school anymore, I could totally take the both of you on even with just one leg.”
“Yeah that’s definitely true. Well you say the word and I will drive over and drag him out the junkyard myself.”
Alex smiles again.
“Thanks, but no need.”
“So you’re not angry?”
“No no, not angry, I just…”
“He chose Maria again?”
Alex wonders if it’s all written on his face and that’s why Kyle seems to be able to read it all.
“No it’s not really that. I just. I feel anger towards my dad sometimes. Because he fucked me up so badly when I was young.”
“Hey hey, there’s nothing wrong with you.” 
Kyle puts his hand down between them on the sofa, leaving it there for Alex to take if he wants to. He exhales.
“I went to therapy after I lost my leg. It’s the first time I went. I should have gone way earlier because my pile of issues were huge even before I lost it. I was forced to go when I lost my leg, because even then I was convinced I didn’t need help. Because going to therapy is the weakest thing a man can do. That’s what I heard on repeat in my head when I was being wheeled into her office a month after the truck had exploded with me in it. It was his voice saying, “You’re weak Alex, you’re weak” over and over again…”
Kyle doesn’t say anything, Alex has turned his head away, staring in the opposite wall so he doesn’t have to look at Kyle’s face. 
But…
He does take Kyle’s offer up on support and grabs his hand on the couch in reassurance. Kyle grips it tightly and Alex continues.
“We didn’t really talk too much about my life before the Air Force. She was a good therapist, she really was but I wasn’t really there to unpack the trauma of having all my self worth being beaten out of me by my father, so we didn’t. Which is why, now that I’m back here that the things that happened before I enlisted have just been pushed away and undealt with for years. Which is not the ideal way of dealing with issues. They are all just being dragged back up again and I keep going in circles around it. So sleeping with Maria and Michael really wasn’t the solution to anything, but I’m not sure it made anything worse either.”
Kyle grasps his hand again encouraging him to go on. 
“Michael’s the only person I’ve ever had any sort of relationship with, the only person I’ve ever really wanted to be with too but when we met I was young and the issues had only just begun. Michael had his own set of problems too and while I am definitely guilty in how things went down between us then and now I still even now, I just…”
He starts scratching at a loose thread on the sofa, just to have something to do. 
“Love always comes with some sort of conditions. That’s all thanks to my dad… I can’t escape the feeling of every time I let myself be vulnerable something is going to happen that ruins it. That I’m not good enough or that I’m not loveable because I am who I am… I don’t like myself at times because my dad drilled that into me, that I am unlovable, and if I don’t love myself how is anyone else supposed to? I never feel secure either, in myself or any partner. It’s just a big mess tangled together.”
Alex takes breath and bites down the tears. Even talking about it is really hard for him. 
“I love Maria as a friend, but I guess she’s just had this ability to make me feel safe where no one else has, not even Michael. And it isn’t Michael’s fault really, because he didn’t know what I needed, how could he? I didn’t even know at the time… I just know that after what happened between us that it’s time to move on, move forward and demand better for myself. I just want more than what I’ve been given before…”
“Wow, I really should have brought alcohol shouldn’t I?”
Alex chuckles watery and looks over at Kyle who looks like he’s been hiding his own tears.
Ugh, not really how he planned for this day to go. 
“Sorry, didn’t mean to put all that on you.” He clears his throat in embarrassment.
Kyle looks annoyed and pulls on Alex’s arm. He doesn’t understand but moves closer to Kyle. When he’s close enough Kyle wraps his arms around him and Alex is stunned into silence.
“Don’t ever apologize to me Alex. Especially not for something like this, okay?”
Alex nods silently and for a moment allows himself be held. After a while he distangles himself and moves away. Kyle lets him. 
“So, are you and Michael over then, for good?”
Alex takes a long moment before he replies.
“I always had this idea that we would end up together, but after everything I honestly don’t know any more. If I live long enough then maybe yeah in the future. But not for a while. I need some time to figure out who I am.”
“Okay, well even so, even after what you and Michael have been through, however bad it was at times it would make some sense too if you wanted to give yourself some time to mourn him and whatever you had together. If you don’t then that hole in your chest might just expand forever.” He says softly. Alex gulps and sighs, refusing to cry again.
“Y-yeah.”
They’re both quiet for a while, Alex just sitting with what he’s come to terms with.
“So, more Star Wars?” Alex nods and jumps on the distraction Kyle offers. He opens up a package of Maryland cookies and munches them down.
All this food is looking more and more like comfort food to him.
…….
Two films later Kyle is laying on the floor, crumbs on his chest and his head in his phone trying to figure out tiktok dances. Alex has taken up the whole couch and he feels drunk. He probably is going through a sugar high because his whole body is buzzing with energy.
“I can’t remember the last time I had this much sugar.” He groans and eats an M&M.
“Me neither.” Kyle is definitely looking way to concentrated on that tiktok thing.
“Kyle you’re almost thirty, are you sure there isn’t an age limit on the app?”
“Shut up.” Kyle mutters but puts the phone down. Alex snort and throws some popcorn at him.
“Do you have any food around?” 
Alex shrugs, he has no clue. Kyle groans but gets up and walks into the kitchen. He’s wearing a pair of Alex’s sweatpants that are way too small for him, but the day spent eating just junk food, the jeans he arrived in had long gone been discarded of. Kyle bangs about in the kitchen for a while and Alex doesn’t move because he’s kind of comfortable where he is.
“You have pizza, that will do.” Kyle declares and comes back out with the stack of DVDs that had been left in there earlier.
“So you pick something. I need something other than the force, lightsabers and aliens. I feel like we should both be done with aliens for the night.”
“Then why did you bring Infinity War?”
“What? I like that film.”
“God who are you?”
“What? It’s really good, also Captain America is inspiring.”
“Patriotism and steroids your thing Valenti?”
“Funny, no, well you know what he’s actually pretty hot and he’s workout routine is impressive as hell.”
“Honestly, I’m more into Robert Downey JR. and that man is over 50.” Alex quips back. Kyle looks thoughtful.
“Nah, still digging Chris Evans more.”
“I mean blondes were never my type.”
“Yeah that much is clear.” Kyle snorts. Alex throws some more popcorn at him and Kyle whacks him with a pillow.
They end up watching Legally Blonde instead and this is definitely one of the strangest days Alex’s ever had. But it’s also kind of the best ones he’s ever had too, not that he’s letting Kyle know that of course.
It gets late, way after 2am and Alex is not cruel enough that he is going to let Kyle drive home at that time.
“Okay, I’ll stay but I am taking the couch.” Kyle says. Alex scoffs.
“Don’t be ridiculous, this couch is really uncomfortable, it will mess up your posture for sure.” Kyle eyes it suspiciously.
“My bed is big enough for two.”
“Are you sure?” Kyle looks uncertain.
“I’m sure.” Alex says reassuringly. 
So, they end up sharing a bed just like they used to do when they were kids and things were good and normal between them. Also Alex’s bed is definitely big enough for the two of them. He invested in this bed when he decided to stay here long term. He’s spent too many years of his life sleeping in uncomfortable beds that he’s done with that forever. So he had splashed out on this because he deserved it. And he was nearing 30, his back definitely deserved it.
“This reminds me of us as kids.” Kyle says later when they are comfortable. Ales chuckles.
“Yeah same, I hope you’re not still a snorer.”
“I haven’t snored a day in my life.”
“That’s definitely a lie and you know it.”
Kyle laughs and fake snores. Alex snorts at the ridiculousness of it all.
He falls asleep feeling a little better though.
……..
At 4:30 am they are abruptly woken up by someone knocking on his door.
“What the fuck?!” Kyle groans. Alex doesn’t even turn over, instead he starts poking Kyle’s arm. He refuses to get up. Kyle groans some more but after a while he gives in and leaves.
Alex is so tired he doesn’t even listen for who it is. That’s a mistake.
The person who has decided to come disturb him at this god forsaken hour appears to be Isobel, and her voice is loud. 
“Oh my god Kyle, you left the bar a changed man I see. I can’t believe you slept with Alex.”
Alex sits up immediately, as quick as he can with just his one leg and pulls the duvet up to cover himself. Her eyes trail over him and Alex brains clicks into action because that’s definitely what this looks like to an outsider. Kyle comes running in, his hair a mess, shirtless and still looking half asleep.
“That’s definitely not what happened.” He says, Isobel narrows her eyes.
“Well it’s not really any of my business. I hope you used protection.” She sits down on the bed and Alex doesn’t understand what is happening because Isobel and him are definitely not close, and for her to sit down on the bed like she knows him is strange as hell. 
“What are you doing here Isobel?” He asks.
“Oh, well we’ve been trying to get in contact with both of you for hours, but none of you have been replying. You usually answer when Michael or Maria calls but you dodged those too, which is strange but whatever.”
Alex honestly doesn’t even know where his phone is, he hadn’t looked at it all day yesterday, so he definitely has no clue what has been going on in the life of people outside this house.
“But after everything that happened I felt like being nice and charitable and drive all the way over here. I also thought you’d be up by now Captain, doesn’t your day start at 5 normally?”
Normally yeah, he might be up by this time, but not when he’s consumed his own weight in sugar and gone to bed late while dealing with things, then he doesn’t.
“So I’m charity now?” He says instead.
“Something like that, come on let’s get going. Chop Chop.”
“What happened?” Kyle asks.
“Max remembers something, from a dream maybe. Alarming things, so come one. I’ll buy you two coffee on the way there.” 
She blows a kiss at Kyle and leaves the room. Kyle gives him a look at Alex sighs.
Yep, no rest in Roswell, that’s for sure.
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offansandflames · 5 years
Text
So uh...
A lot has happened since I bothered to post anything about my life. To be succinct, I’m in a massively stressful situation.
One of my closest friends (Rachel), whom I’ve known for 20 years, was diagnosed with stage IV bladder cancer. All said and done, her 5-year survival stats are around 15%. They removed her bladder and tried to remove the rest of the cancer, which spread to her ovaries and uterus. It looked like she would bleed out during surgery, so the doctors weren’t able to get all of the cancer out. She’s too weak for chemo and radiation, so she’s started on immunotherapy. All I can do is pray there. It’s just surreal that she may not be a part of my life anymore.
Yesterday, I got news that my best friend is again homeless. If any of y’all followed me, this is the same friend who nearly died last year. He continues to make stupid decisions, and being HIV positive, he just can’t afford that. Last year, I was in a loop of letting him stay at my place and desperately looking all over for shelters for him. So many times I’ve thought he was finally on the straight and narrow, and somehow he fucks it up every time. I’m just...exhausted. I feel bad for not answering his call, but I have enough on my hands taking care of myself and people who actually don’t cause their own problems.
My grandpa, who nearly died a few years ago from two separate incidents of lung cancer, had his first stroke a couple weeks ago. Thankfully, besides some speech and writing issues, he’s okay. Still though.
My fiance is depressed as well, with heavy suicidal ideation. I’m very concerned about them. Though...it can be difficult for me too. Sometimes when I start talking about my issues, it becomes a conversation about their issues. At the close of the conversation, I’m more overwhelmed than I was before. Other times, they listen and support. To be fair, I’ve been so busy with work that we’d hardly even spoken the last couple weeks. I traveled a week for work, and they missed me greatly. But it’s left me feeling uncertain as to whether me venting to them is a good idea for either or us in this situation.
I left a job as a project manager in IT, which I was extremely unhappy at. April 1, I began my new job as a Home Dialysis Program Manager at a kidney care company, which required moving from Orange County to west LA. While I find the work fulfilling, my boss is...um.
Last year, of her 8 employees, 2 quit and 1 was fired. She told me that she has the expectation that 3 weeks in, I should be performing as if I’d been in the role “forever.” When I asked her to qualify that, she said 6 months. 6 months, in a position that almost everyone transfers to internally. I need to learn a new company, a new industry, the people, the tools... Don’t even ask me where 6 months come from.
She asks these questions that require a lot of background work and wants answers within hours, even though there’s no actual reason she needs them so quickly. Meanwhile, I’m left to juggle things that actually are urgent, like the staffing issues at one of my clinics and a surgeon dinner I’m holding. So I’m not able to prioritize.
I’ve been so busy that when I stepped on a small shard of glass, I didn’t have time to take it out. The next 2 days at work were so busy that I couldn’t even take a break over 30 seconds or so. I thought I could deal with it after the rush, but the tough skin on the bottom of my foot grew over it. Now it’s locked in by scar tissue, so unless I see a doctor, I don’t know if it will ever come out. Though it doesn’t usually hurt now unless that specific area is pressed on hard.
Anyhow...yeah, that’s my venting. I am fortunate in that I have many supportive friends, but I frankly haven’t even had time to talk. It’s just been festering in my mind. So here it is.
But I am trying...really trying to stay positive. My first day at my new job, a dialysis patient told me, “I can’t afford to think negatively. If I do that, I’m dead.” If I think negatively, I’m dead in the water here. It’s difficult. Bipolar makes it tougher. But I just have to keep trying.
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rosebudmendes · 5 years
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La vie Est Belle (Shawn AU)
Part 2
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Description: She has to take care of her ill father. He has to provide for his younger sister. Just when they think their lives couldn’t get busier, fate intervenes. 
Warnings: alcoholic tendencies, anxiety, anger management issues, terminal illness
Word count: 2,483
Reblog & send me your thoughts! I hope you enjoy!
Part 1
———
A loud crash startled you out of deep sleep. The room was mostly dark. There was the smallest amount of sunlight beaming in through the curtains. Following the shattering of glass was a loud groan and anger filled stomps, the clock on the wall reading 5:30 am. It was far too early for your dad to be out of bed. You wrestled with the thought of going to investigate but stopped at the fear of running into a highly intoxicated version of your mother.
You tried to stay clear from her path if it was clear she had been drinking. This meant that you hardly were around her. She always seemed to have a drink in her hand or a migraine that made her irritated at the slightest sound. It used to bother you. In the past, you couldn’t control your anger and your mom was the perfect outlet for irrational yelling. Even hearing her pour herself a drink would send you into a fit of passionate hate. It took a few years of counseling for you to have a grasp on those furious thoughts.
As much as you tried to ignore the sounds coming from the kitchen, you were now wide awake. You still knew it was better off to let time take its course and let her find her way to the bed herself. To fill the time you pulled out your phone. You weren’t expecting to have any messages as you aren’t very close with any of your friends back home. Actually, for the last 6 months, you had kind of been a loner. There was too much pressure on you to take care of your father and be there for your friends. Eventually, everyone stopped inviting you out. Even when you did go out it was rare that you felt alive and appreciated.
This morning, though, you had a message from Shawn. You tried to ignore the tingly feeling the notification gave you, but it was too difficult. Your cheeks rushed with blood and your toes curled slightly.
“I enjoyed talking with you, (y/n). Thanks for returning my wallet xx”
You wanted to reply in a heartbeat, but you stopped when you heard another loud bang come from the kitchen. This time you couldn’t help but rush out to see what was the matter. You opened the bedroom door and what you saw left you in a feeling of despair and shame. It wasn’t your mother at all. She was still passed out on the couch with a drink still in her hand. That meant it had to be your father, and that meant there was something wrong. You scanned the room frantically. He wasn’t in the living room and there was a wet substance on the kitchen tile. Not worrying about the mess, you ran to the bathroom. The door was locked but you could see the light shining brightly through the crack.
“Pops? Are you alright?” It felt like a redundant question; he was probably throwing up. You have learned that as a grown man, he wants to feel in control. He hated when people treated him like a sick puppy. Few people knew what to ask him and when to stand their ground and do what was best for him.
That’s what it all came down to; his health. It didn’t matter what the time was, what day of the week it was, or even what country he was in. This illness was deadly and it had no sense of boundaries, it was relentless. You didn’t bother waiting for an answer, you ran to your phone and instantly called for an emergency vehicle. This may have just been a reaction to the changes in the altitude from traveling, but you didn’t want to take any chances. You were your father's everything, he was all you had. Your mom was probably going to drink herself to death, and your relationship’s all fizzled out. Without your father, you’d be on your own.
Quickly and swiftly, you wiped away the tears that appeared and you started packing bags. The last time your father was admitted to the emergency room, you guys ended up staying for a week without a way back home for clothes. You threw in clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, and an envelope that included all the insurance information and a credit card that had never been used and was the last possible resource.
Just then an aggressive knock on your door alarmed you and woke your mother up. You let the kind doctors in while also updating your mother on what was happening. She only nodded and frantically brushed her hair, shoving a piece of gum in her mouth and putting eye drops in her eyes. You just scoffed and walked away from her.
Now was not the time to worry about appearances. Until now you weren’t aware of what clothes you had on. Pajamas, appropriate enough to wear in public on occasion but obviously sleepwear. You didn’t mind though. You knew about zero people in the city and didn’t feel the need to make a proper first impression.
The emergency vehicle was parked right outside of the resort lobby, the overstimulating lights and sirens making you feel uncomfortable. Although the severity of the illness, there had been only one other time an ambulance was needed for your father.
It was before you were the main caregiver and you had just walked home from school. No one informed you that your dad was even home from work, let alone not feeling well. You remember what it felt like to hear those sirens, watch him be pushed out of the house on a stretcher and not know if he was going to come back. That same feeling was with you now, and you felt as small and helpless as you did back then.
You couldn’t focus on the pain and grief now. He was still alive, he was still breathing. You needed to move forward and prepare yourself for what was next. The hospital was a place of sadness and sorrow. You hated it with all your heart. The only happy memories that anyone ever experiences at a hospital is a birth, and the rest was all too depressing.
The smell of latex and hand sanitizer stung your nose, mixed with the sound of small sniffles and light whispers from one family member to another. It was all so miserable. You knew it was going to be a long day.
You and your mom waited in the waiting room for what felt like days but was only an hour. The doctors finally came out and said some medical stuff that basically meant your father was getting worse. Your mother broke down into hysterical tears, and you remained calm and thanked the doctor.
You hadn’t checked your phone at all and didn’t realize Shawn had texted you again. Even though you were in a state of high emotions, you somehow felt a quick sense of calmness seeing his text.
He sent a picture of him and his younger sister, baking something in the kitchen. The photo was followed with “Sheila wanted to thank you with some homemade bread. Anywhere we can deliver this heavenly loaf? xx”
You smiled internally at the thought of them baking something for you. There was something about his presence that made you feel like life was worth living. Even a simple text message from him, a small token of appreciation for your existence. It almost made you believe that life is beautiful.
You finally replied to both messages from him. “I had a great time at the Diner, too. You can hand deliver any packages to your royal highness at this address…” You tried to come off cheerful as flirtatious as you could. There was no need for him to know what was going on, or that you would be spending the day in a hospital with your terminally ill father. You tried to ignore the idea of his existence so you could focus on the stability and health of your father.
You were allowed to see him after he had been fully examined and the insurance was processed. He looked pale and grey. He was wearing one of those stereotypical hospital gowns and IV cords as unwanted accessories. The tears pricked at your eyes, but you did whatever you could to push them back. You had to be strong for him, you couldn’t let him know to see him like this hurt you. He desperately wanted to be the strong and sufficient father figure that every man aspires to be, but now that he physically couldn't you had to pretend you didn’t need any fatherly help. Even if you did, you never let it show.
“Hey Sweets, how do I look?” He joked. No matter the situation, he always made a humorous comment.
“I think you’ve looked better, Pops.” You sat at the chair close by his bed, and you grabbed his hand that was resting on his side.
“Oh, come on now I think I look pretty darn fabulous” He was resilient, nonetheless.
“Pops, you should know-“
“I’m not getting better am I?” His voice cracked, and he squeezed your hand gently. You nodded, and let the tears fall. His eyes were filled with tears as well.
Neither one of you acknowledged the hurt that found its way between your bodies. You both felt it, knew its presence had never truly gone away. It was stronger now. The hurt was more powerful every day your father lived. The longer this illness was dragged out for, the stronger the pain, the harsher the hurt.
It was going to take a miracle for your family to remain. It would take more than a miracle to keep yourself sane. You brought your lips to his hand and pressed your cheek against him. He was still warm, that was a sign of hope.
You ended up falling asleep next to your father. When you woke up you realized it was almost dark already. You didn’t know if you were so exhausted from jet lag, or from the tiring events of the day. Either way, you needed energy. You went to the coffee station in the hospital cafeteria and sat down at a comfortable lounge chair. On your way over you grabbed a sandwich and a water. Might as well try and eat something, even though you weren’t that hungry.
You were minding your own business when a doctor approached you. “(Y/n)?” He asked, continuing when you nodded. “I regret to inform you that we have strict guests policies in this part of the hospital…” You didn’t have any idea where he was going with this statement. “Unfortunately, only parents and spouses are legally allowed to stay overnight.” He was swaying side to side with his hand glued in his long white jacket. You were confused, tired, and now angry. You didn’t want to lash out at him, you were really trying not to say anything.
“Ok, thank you.” Your response was short and choppy on purpose. He asked if there was anything he could do for you, and you ignored him. You slammed the coffee and food onto the counter table and stormed away.
Sometimes the anger you felt was stronger than any meditation guide and breathing technique. You wanted to scream. You felt like you needed to scream. You ran out of the hospital and sprinted to the resort. As angry as you were that you couldn’t spend the night next to your father, you were relieved that you would be able to sleep in your own bed.
When you arrived outside the resort you felt calmer. Not completely calm, but enough to have a civil conversation with the doorman in passing. You were standing outside the elevator when you felt someone’s presence behind you, Shawn.
“Oh, hi.” You pushed the loose strands of hair behind your ear and fidgeted with the ends of your stained t-shirt. You were not expecting to be seeing him at all today.
“I was just delivering a thank you gift, flowers, and banana bread.” He nervously chuckled. You nodded and awkwardly stood near, waiting for him to say something else.
“Gosh, (y/n) did you get any sleep last night? You don’t look so good.”
“Wow, you sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself.” You would rather make a joke out of his comment than tell him the truth. You could tell by his expression he was not on the same page. “My father, he is in the hospital.”
You didn’t have to look at him to know the surprised look in his eyes. Everyone was stunned when they first hear about his illness, over time you just know better than to watch them process such information.
“(Y/n), I had no idea. I-“ He hardly finished his sentence before setting down the small gifts, and pulling you into a tight hug. One arm was wrapped around your waist, the other was holding your head to his chest. He was so much taller than you, so much stronger than you. Instead of fighting against his act of affection you leaned into it. You wrapped your arms around his muscular waist and inhaled. He smelt of vanilla and cologne again.
“I’m sorry, I don’t like to talk about it.” You mumbled, tears streaming down your rosy cheeks.
“Hey, no need to apologize. You just need to get some rest.” His voice was deep and soft. He somehow managed to show that he was not judging you in the way he spoke and held you. Without letting you go he pressed the elevator button again, and the doors immediately opened.
He was about to pull away, about to leave you alone. Something about the idea of him leaving you made you feel unsettled. You squeezed him harder, hoping he would get the hint.
“You could stay if you want.”
“Is that what you want?” He was swaying gently now, the warmth between you becoming thick and excessive.
“I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
Shawn kissed the top of your head and you practically fell, becoming weak in the knees. He swiftly turned you around and laced his fingers between yours. This feeling was incredible. More intense than anyone you had ever touched before. It was almost as if you had met in a past life and were being reconnected. The universe has a funny way of making things happen, and for once you were able to understand the beauty in all of this pain.
Taglist: [thanks to @stockholmshawn for helping edit this, go give her a follow!] @lou-and-me @yellowitsmendes
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Dog Days - Part 1
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Pairing: Jughead Jones x Doctor!Reader
Description: Riverdale is facing dark times. Jughead has to choose between two paths. Will Y/N affect his decision?
Warnings: Fred’s current situation in the season finale and alcohol. Spoiler alert if you haven’t watched season 2 trailers yet.
Word count: 3038
A/N: These trailers are killing me with anticipation. I know Archie was the one to take Fred to the hospital, but that doesn’t make sense to me, so I wrote as if he arrived in an ambulance. Had to make the reader sort of a genius since I wanted it to be legal and not to big of an age gap.
GSW stands for Gun Shot Wound, BPR for Beats Per Minute and Breaths Per Minute, BP for Blood Pressure, OR for Operating Room, Y/L/C/H for Your Length and Color Hair, Y/B/M/D for Your Birth Date and Month. My EMS report may be completely wrong for a real one so if you are a doctor feel free to correct me.
I know I was supposed to post a new part for the Partner Revealed, but I couldn’t help write this one. Hope you forgive me!
Five seconds is as much time as the doctors have to breath in and out to clear their minds before the EMT pulls out the gurney and behind it comes a ginger boy, with a red stained cast and varsity jacket. “Robbery gone wrong at Pop’s. Patient Fred Andrews, male, GSW to the abdomen, no exit wound, patient is unconscious, pulse 66 bpr, BP 140 over 80, respirations at 19 bpm. ETA 6 minutes after call, we have an 18 gauge IV and controlled bleeding.” In 30 seconds the paramedic gives them the report already taking the man to the closest trauma room available. “Is my dad gonna be ok?”, the boy asks desperately standing at the edge of the door where his father lays motionless. “We’ll do everything we can.”, Y/N answers him calmly. “Nurse. Take ...” She looks at the boy waiting for his name. “Archie.”, he replies. “Archie to the waiting room please.” She rushes in to check Fred’s wound. “I need an X-ray and two bags of O-. Page Dr. Stone and book OR 2.”, the ER doctor instructs Y/N.
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Jughead, Betty and Veronica arrive at the hospital not too long after Fred is taken into surgery. They spot Archie in a chair at the reception, looking helpless and unbalanced. His expression softens at the sight of his friends running to hug him all at once. Jug’s arms around them all, staying like that for a short while before they rest. “What happened?”, Jughead asks tenderly, sitting down next to his friend. “We were at Pop’s. I was in the bathroom and heard noises, when I came out, there was this man, wearing this hood, with a gun at Pop Tate and then he pointed it at my dad and fired. Then he ... “, an incredibly distressed Archie answers. “Then he what?” His girlfriend looks hopeless. “He ran.”, he finishes his sentence distractedly. Jug reckons Arch could be keeping something from them by the way he spoke.
This is the worst possible time for Jughead to be worrying about his relationship with Betty. However, so much has happened in less than 24 hours that he barely had time to process it. They left the Jubilee in awe, ready to show how much they love each other. Instead, what could have been a perfect night was spent arguing over a family issue. It drove him mad how much of a hypocrite his girlfriend can be. He almost wanted to take back what he confessed to her earlier.
When Jug got the call from Archie, he was still wearing the source of the problem. Betty had to remind him that showing up at the hospital with a Serpents’ jacket right after his best friend’s dad had just been shot wasn’t a smart idea. He knew that. Nevertheless, he was being torn apart. That snake embroidery was always a reason for confrontations with his father. In spite of that, the second his fingers touched the cold material and he first slid it on, Jughead felt at peace, safe. Like he finally belonged and ultimately understood his dad.
His girlfriend, if he can still call her that, is accommodated next to an incredibly tense Veronica, not even looking at his direction. Right now there’s nothing he can do to fix that, and, quite honestly, he doesn’t know if it’s worth trying. What he can and wants to do is help his ‘brother’ in any and every way he can. “Arch. Can we talk privately?” He points at the empty hallway and the red-haired boy follows him. “What is it, Jug?”, he asks, still looking at the reception, just in case someone comes out with some information. “For a moment, it looked like you were about to say something, about the hood guy, and reconsidered.”, Jughead states. “Really?” Archie fails at sounding convincing, certainly because he’s too tired to properly pretend. “Part of what makes you so endearing is your utter lack of a poker face.”, Jughead tells him in a sensible way. Archie stares at him wonderingly. “You have to stop taking the weight of the world by yourself, pal. You are not alone, Archie.” He shows himself with both hands from top to bottom in a very dramatic way, then the waiting room full of his friends and their parents. Jug knows he’s not one to say, as he for months lived inside the school’s storage closet instead of asking for help. Though, after his father was wrongfully arrested, it was all of them together who made it right and he started to rethink his ways. There’s nothing he wants more than to make that happen for his friend.
Archie takes his time to answer. “What if this wasn’t just a random thief? I know Clifford wasn’t happy with my dad working at the Drive-In land. He did everything in his power to stop the construction. What if Mr. Blossom ACTUALLY did everything to terminate it?”, he blurts out without barely breathing between words, releasing some of his build up stress as he tells out loud the theory that’s been keeping his mind unsettled. “He was a powerful man, no denying that. Still, I doubt Cliff could be doing anything from the grave. Although, if you’re telling me it looked staged, then it’s paramount we find out who’s pulling the strings.” Jughead assures him that he has his back, no matter what. Before they can elaborate an opinion, Sheriff Keller arrives to question Archibald. They all give them privacy. Jug figured this would be a good time to talk to Betty, yet she ignores him calling out for her and leaves to the cafeteria with Ronnie.
After long tedious, yet uneasy waiting hours, the surgeon and nurses come out of the hallway. Archie immediately stands up and the man signs with his hand he’ll soon speak to them. First he stops at the reception desk in the waiting room, giving Fred’s chart and further instructions to a girl who looks too young to be in scrubs, in Jug’s opinion. She removes her bouffant cap to reveal a Y/L/H/C and makes eye contact with Jughead, who looks away quickly, embarrassed, feeling his face get warm and red. Reason tells him it’s immoral to blush from looking at a girl he doesn’t even know while having a girlfriend - and being at the hospital with his best friend’s dad just out of surgery makes it ten times worse. Truth is he just can’t help it.
The man introduces himself as Dr. Stone, the general surgeon who operated on Mr. Andrews. He calmly and rationally explains they managed to remove the bullet and cease the bleeding. Then he tells Archie his dad is being taken to the ICU and he’ll soon be able to see him. Despite that, Fred’s still intubated and they don’t know how long it will be until he wakes up, considering the bullet hit a vital organ. In his opinion, though, it could’ve been a lot worse. All they heard was ‘He’s alive’. Arch releases a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. “I’m gonna stay with my dad. Can you let Ronnie know she can go home?”, the ginger boy covered in his own father’s blood cries out. “Sure. Listen, he’s gonna be fine, Archie. I’ll be back tomorrow morning so you can change and rest.” Jughead hugs his friend once more, tighter this time. He’s not big on PDA or physical contact in general, although he truly wants to express how much he cares.
Jughead walks out of the hospital, feeling the icy air cool his face. He closes his eyes, but that doesn’t stop his mind from going a thousand miles per hour. The beanie-clad boy is immensely solaced that Fred is in his way to recovery. Regardless, there is still a long way to go until it’s all put right and the dog days end. After all the hours awake, caffeine is needed. Unfortunately, his usual place for a hit is not an option. He spots a small food truck next to the parking lot. The largest cup they had still doesn’t fit his needs, but it will do. While he’s waiting for his drink, he texts Veronica as Archie asked. Jug recognises the girl sitting in one of the benches. Tiny droplets of water from the drizzle glow red and blue on top of her noteworthy hair when the ambulance lights shine.
He can’t help gazing at the girl who may have just saved Fred’s life. Something about her attracts Jughead like a magnet. “People complain about hospital food. But the coffee... is to die for.”, she remarks ironically, taking a sip from her large travel cup of coffee. Jughead takes a few seconds to realize she spoke to him, as he was standing behind her, confident he was safe from being spotted. He realizes she’s very aware of him staring. “Considering the work hours, that’s essential. Mind if I sit?”, he asks. She shakes her head in agreement and scoots over to give him more space. “Jughead Jones the Third.” He extends her a hand. “Y/N Y/L/N... the first.” She firmly and steadily shakes it.
She doesn’t look mad about him glaring. Intrigued is more like it. “You’re part of the surgical team who operated on Fred Andrews, right?”, he asks. “Technically, I’m not supposed to disclose it to non-family members. But you did see me with Dr. Stone.” She doesn’t break eye contact, and even in the low lighting he can see her beautiful Y/E/C iris, deep like a galaxy, as if a whole universe resided in it. “I just wanted to thank you. You’re part of the reason he’s still alive.” Jughead bites the inside of his cheeks trying to remain composed. “I’m just an intern.” Her words contradict her smile, as if no one has ever appreciated all the effort she puts into saving people’s lives. Y/N’s pager beeps. “Duty calls.” The girl gets up and swallows the rest of her coffee in one sip. “Is that for Fred?”, Jug asks anguished, wondering if something could’ve gone wrong. “I do have other patients, Mr. Jones.”, she replies. “Please. Call me Jughead.”, he says. “See you around, Jughead.”, Y/N speaks louder as she’s already walking away.
“Juggy?” He hears Betty calling out for him seconds after Y/N left, exactly the same way she did back at the trailer. For the first time, that annoys him. Jughead feels he’s being treated like a child and a possession. None of them have the energy to deal with their situation at the moment. She offers him a ride home, which he denies saying he needs to clear his mind. The blonde girl tried to peck his lips but he turns his face and she lands a soft kiss on his cheek. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”, he guarantees and leaves.
He still has the spare key Fred gave him when he moved in. Entering the empty house feels weird. Jughead climbs the stairs to the room he used to share with Archie to pack him some clean clothes and essentials. Practicality dictates he should spend the night there, as he has to talk to Betty before going to the hospital the next morning. On second thought, the place doesn’t feel like home anymore and the silence is driving him mad.
Jug crosses Riverdale’s train tracks towards the south, carrying the northside mess with him inside Archie’s Bulldog football bag. Sunnyside’s sign gives him comfort for the first time in a really long while. He gets inside his dad’s trailer, rests the bag on the kitchen table and throws himself at the couch, dog-tired. Still his brain doesn’t want to fall asleep. He stares at the leather jacket carefully placed at the back of the chair. It has a strong effect on him, like it’s seducing him. He gives in to temptation and puts it on again. Just as the first time, he feels sheltered and powerful. That can only lead him one place at this hour.
The red doors loosely remind him of the ones at Pop’s. If not for the bikes parked in front, he could trick himself. Not that he needs to. Somehow, the Whyte Wyrm feels a lot safer in relation to the chock’lit shoppe now. Usually, he'd feel like a pray walking in the bar filled with snakes to retrieve his drunken father. Now he feels nested, welcomed and comfortable. “Glad to see you again, kid”, the man who gave him the jacket pats his back respectfully. “Truth be told we weren’t sure you would.”, the young guy who held Hot Dog’s leash the previous night confesses, preparing to shoot the pool ball. He pockets the 8, ending the game and retrieving the bet money. “Come on, I’ll buy you your first beer.” Jughead just walks with him to the counter, still silent, taking in every detail of the bar he missed the previous times. The pictures on the wall, neon signs shading the dark room, people having fun, the snakes inside the glass tanks, but most surprising of all, Y/N Y/L/N sitting at the counter.
“Aren’t you a little young to be in a bar?” He’s amazed and a little scared as once again she addresses him facing the other way. “Do you have eyes in your back?” He sits down on the empty stool next to her and the young serpent winks at him with a smirk. Jughead widens his eyes to him, wordlessly telling him to scram. “Surgeon skills, I have to be aware of at least 5 other people in the OR while keeping my eyes on the patient.”, she explains, shifting her stool towards him. “Impressive. And I am.”, he says, sipping his cold beer, still not sure the glory everyone sees in it. “I won’t tell if you won’t.” She shows him her driver's license, Y/B/M/D 2000. “How are you a doctor if you’re still 17?”, he asks. “Skipped high school. I have an eidetic memory, didn’t wanna waste four perfectly good years of a very short life in hell, so I just got my GED and got into Med school.”, she says like it’s not a big deal. “Doctor Strange much?” He wonders if she’ll even get the reference. “Wouldn’t that be awesome?” Y/N bumps the rim of her bottle to Jughead’s.
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A couple of beers in and Jughead is already tipsy, although unable to forget the messed-up things that have been happening in a row. “What do you think happened?”, he asks Y/N in relation to the Pop’s shooting. “Robbery gone wrong. I haven’t given it much thought to be honest.” Y/N stands up and grabs Jughead’s hand making him come with her. “How could you not have thought about it?”, he asks, simply letting her guide him. “I’m a doctor, Jughead. I have to think about charts and keeping my patients alive. I leave detecting to the Sheriff.” Y/N rests her beer bottle in the corner of the pool table. “Pardon me if I don’t trust the police.”, he says, still confused as to why they got up. “You’re one of the kids who solved the Jason Blossom murder case, wouldn’t expect anything else.” She starts setting the balls inside the triangle. “Not in the least. Found it quite impressive actually. I’m all for justice. It’s just that I left a 16-hour shift, the only thing I want to do is drink and play.” She grabs two cue sticks and hands one out to Jughead. “Come on. If I win, you buy me a drink; if you win, you buy me a drink.”, she says playfully. “Fair game you got going, huh?” Jug starts chalking his stick to start the game.
Surprisingly, he’s pretty good at it. Not only for his first time playing, but being drunk while doing it. “Dr. Y/N/N. You’re not going easy on our boy here, are you?”, one of the serpents says, leaning on the table. “Are you accusing me of cheating, Franky?”, she tells him. “Maybe you could let him win so we can get out of here.”, the young southsider suggests. The boy places his hands on either side of her, pinning her to the table. Jughead watches furiously but unable to act. He wants to punch him but he’s one of them now and can’t just go around hitting the guys.“In your dreams.” She pushes him away and grabs Jug’s hand once more taking control. As they leave the bar, he realizes how dizzy he is. But Y/N is steady enough to hold him upright.
They walk past the gates of Sunnyside trailer park. Jughead is leaning in Y/N for support. She leads him and herself towards his trailer according to Jug’s direction. After they walk around the same place twice, she declares them lost and Jughead unfit to guide. Half an hour of that wandering through the trailer park passes until they finally arrive at the improvised porch of Y/N’s trailer. She drops an almost unconscious Jughead on her bed, pulling his jacket off with a lot of difficulty, as he wanted to keep it on, covering him with a blanket after untying his shoes. Y/N fills a glass of water and takes some ibuprofen to her bedside desk along with a note instructing Jughead to close the trailer door when he leaves and drop the key in the plant at the bottom of the porch stairs. Y/N watches the boy sleeping in her bed. He looks serene, unlike when he’s awake. She grabs a blanket for herself to sleep in the couch.
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sweetwriting · 6 years
Text
Category: Gen
Genre: Angst/Family/Fluff
Fandoms: DC Comics, Batverse
Continuity: Post-Crisis/Pre-Flashpoint
Summary: In Hindsight, Tim realizes he used to be both extremely naïve and aware of the world. He wasn't sure whether he had “grown” or just changed. But too much had happened for him to be the same.
Word Count: 1 970
AN: Hello everyone. I'm sorry for not posting this sooner but, while most of my works are somewhat finished, I write on paper and rewriting on the computer takes time (and then comparing the first draft to the rewriting, and then trying to edit it a little because of mistakes...it takes more time than I'd like to admit...though the rewriting part is what takes the longest because sometimes it takes me like 3 days to do one sentence because I remember I have homework or I have to go to work...). I won't be posting day 5 (favorite relationship) because...I couldn't choose between Dick and Kon and tried to use both and it ended up becoming sorta TimKon and I didn't want Dick to feel left out...or Bart and it's a mess I have to try to rework. If I can't manage to rework it I'll post the best version. As for day 6, I just thought I had rewritten it on my computer and posted it when I started rewriting day 7 but I haven't yet and I'm currently rewriting others (TimKon Week and the Batfam Halloween event) so... it'll come, one day ^^'.ANYWAY. This piece, while a standalone can be seen as a sequel to that piece. I hope you enjoy it :)
To read it on AO3
In hindsight, Tim realizes he used to be both extremely naïve and aware of the world.
In the words of the internet, his naïveté mainly came from his privilege.
He knew a lot of things from reading newspapers (well…what had been about Batman and other heroes as well as what he could gather about Art History which, depending on the journalist, could open a window on the world) but it was “from afar”, he was never really confronted with their concrete application until he met Bruce and was transferred to a non-private (and non-boarding) school. Meeting Ives and Ariana was kind of a wake-up call and so was meeting Steph and, really, the many others who followed. There was also his constant denial of the state of his birth family and how it had impacted the way he took the death of Dick’s parents by projecting on Batman and Robin…that….took some time to deal with (hint: he had never truly dealt with it) and was the root of many of his issues. And then, then there was all he saw of the world as Robin.
Now, however, he had become almost completely cynical. There was a reason why he knew the Anti-Life Equation after all. Sort of. Because at the same time, even if it made sense, he refused it and there was a very simple reason for that. The naïve part of his being never truly left and, in a way, was heavily encouraged by his training with Batman. There is something to say after all, about a man dressed as a bat who tries to prevent others from being hurt the way he had been during the night and who tries to help redeem the crimes of others by giving them constant second chances as well as tries to prevent them by making affordable healthcare or rehabilitation programs through various of his own associations and giving money to others. Because that belief that people could change, that you should trust that they would try and deserve those new chances? It was all Bruce’s.
Of course, Bruce had also had to learn paranoia so some of his lessons went against this faith in people, yet, despite all the paranoia he had tried to create in his protégé, a part of Bruce always seemed to be burning with the trust he put in others (or maybe it was just a hope that he could trust them?). And Tim had been at the best place to see it worsen over the years. As such he ended up developing a paranoia-trust dichotomy similar to Bruce’s but… He never quite managed to take his paranoia as far as Bruce’s - or Dick's- because he couldn’t help himself and almost always trusted people he had just met despite himself. He had learned, however, not to be surprised if he was betrayed and to sometimes prepare for it even if a tiny bit - and even then,  he never completely managed to if his surprise that no one would give him the benefit of the doubt after Bruce's death was anything to go by. Because being trusting didn’t mean being an idiot.  
It was amazing how he had both changed and stayed the same over the years.
He had gone through a lot to learn to balance awareness turned paranoia and naïveté, cynicism and trust and there were periods of time when he couldn’t help the cynicism and paranoia overcoming him. It was especially bad after Conner’s death as it was probably the first time they had truly made themselves known (instead of simply just being him channeling his inner Bruce and Dick in order to appear professional) and then Bruce’s death. Though… It was mostly true after Bruce’s death. The truth is that after Conner’s he wasn’t really functioning enough of a person for anything besides crushing depression and overall numbness for those to overcome him (maybe he should consider Bart’s death as a threshold too?). And retrospectively, Bruce’s method of “repressing it until it no longer bothers you” hadn’t worked. on him. If anything it had made things worse. Because for Bruce, even for Dick really, repressing actually fueled them. Of course, their level of angst and depression went up too but it still helped their vigilante life. On a side note it seemed like the Batfam was blessed with overall good friendships with outsiders who often did what they could to help them out of their funk when repressing became too much for them, and maybe that was Tim’s issues. His friends were either dead or… “out of the way” …Though unlike most of his family Tim didn’t really have any issue with asking for help.
So for Tim, that technique just…blocked him. Blocked him until his level of empathy seemed to start lowering and he just did what he had to do to help.
He honestly doesn’t know what would have happened to him if Bruce…No. If Conner hadn’t come back. Because realizing Conner was really alive, that he could have his best friend back? It felt as if he could be happy again (that night he had smiled one of his first honest smiles of happiness, of contentedness in over two years and finding actual clues about Bruce’s survival was important but not for the obvious reasons). After that -and he hated saying it- but getting Bruce back wasn’t as important. Not because he didn’t care, of course, after all, he’d have given his life to bring him back if it had been needed. The thing is though, had Conner been with him in the first place when Bruce had died, he would have mourned him. He wouldn’t have been desperate to have him be alive to the point of noticing something was wrong. And this belief (no, this knowledge) mattered because having Bruce and Dick hadn’t helped him mourn Conner. Bruce being alive was more important for the family, or even Gotham at that point more than for Tim’s sake. Well except for his sanity (and that’s why he could finally digest the idea that his best friends were back, Paris hadn’t been a hallucination). Learning that Bruce was indeed alive and that he hadn’t “gone insane with grief” was pretty great.
So having both back? That was the best feeling and it was also key in turning two years of hell into fuel for growth instead of just stagnating at an all-time low.
The sole fact that he still needed a crutch to help him deal said a lot about the state of his mental health but he had come a long way from the time when denial and projecting were his main coping mechanisms. Kon had helped a great deal in reminding Tim that he was allowed to deal while Bruce was probably one of the first people to actually listen and respond to Tim’s babbling (whether it was about his days, his missions, and Tim had even started talking about some of his issues. For all intent and purposes, Bruce had acted like his father very early on. He had been a better father than his biological father had been. And Tim couldn’t help but feel bitter at the fact that Bruce had been a relatively better father for him before he adopted him than after…not on all matters seeing as he had been more openly affectionate with Tim but it didn’t prevent Tim from feeling like he always had to prove he was worthy of it. ....Damian hadn’t helped). It was the same with Dick who was his brother long before either were adopted by Bruce, who had become his brother when he had been his Batman, which is why losing him after Bruce (and Conner) died destroyed the small amount of stability Tim had left. But again, had Conner been alive, had tim still noticed something was wrong, he could have dealt with this.
It wasn’t so much because Tim was dependent on Conner more than he was on Bruce and Dick. Though he kinda was, it’s more that Conner had helped him realize that he didn’t need Bruce and Dick as much as he used to because he had actual relationships like Cassie, Bart or Cass (even Cissie and Anita had they not somewhat lost touch). But Conner died barely more than a year after they founded Young Justice and due to their own complicated history, the development of their friendship and their help with each other’s issues had happened too close to Conner’s death for Tim to be able to apply what he had learned in dealing healthily (or as healthily as possible). He had time to get attached to his best friend in the five months that followed the reveal of his identity but he hadn’t had enough time to adapt to this attachment in a relatively healthy way. Still, Cassie had helped him a little after they made up -after she discovered how terribly he was dealing with Conner’s death- and so did Dick (after all he was the one Tim called when he felt suicidal enough to be tempted to jump or take one too many pills).
Mostly though, Tim was never as content as when he was with Conner. He’d love to say as happy but sadly, while it was a bit true, before Conner’s death, he and Tim’s friendship had truly started at a time when their environment prevented either of them from actually being happy and the fact that so much happened in such a short lapse of time didn’t help. Between Bruce being accused of murder, Tim’s father losing his money and going back to forgetting he had a son to take care of, then finding about his night life and his death following Steph’s, Conner having to deal with his non-existent life outside of heroics and trying to adapt to having a relatively stable family, having to get used to a new name, a new identity , learning that he was half megalomaniac instead of 9/10th Apple Pie as well as what seemed to be like feelings for Cassie to deal with -which, retrospectively weren’t even especially romantic,….It had been a lot.
But now, now that Tim had started processing everything that happened to him? Conner was the person who made him the happiest and the most content. He was even getting ready to talk to Bruce after having recently talked with Dick.
He was truly amazed at how so many terrible things had allowed him to get so much better than how he had started out when it came to trust and love. How putting his trust in others had been so rewarding and how even the harshest betrayals had helped him.
How despite everything, while he had become fairly cynical he could still be so utterly trusting. How, while he had shed some of his naïveté it hadn’t completely disappeared so much as evolved into a belief in people despite his knowledge that they could and might betray him.
And as he was sitting in the kitchen beside the picnic Alfred had prepared for him and Bruce to eat after their Tennis matches (which is when they would talk. There was to better way to unwind before a meeting you knew was gonna be tense).
He was eating freshly made cookies and couldn’t help feeling apprehensive of how their talk was going to go through. Yet, unlike what a lot of people would believe, Bruce was a good listener when he realized the subject at hand was something important for the person he was communicating with (unless very specific circumstances). So if things had gone well with Dick? And if he had a shot at repairing his relationship with all his loved ones? He would take it.
Author’s end note :   When I rewrote this on word the first thing I thought was "damn this is so messy" then I stopped and realized "you wrote this from Tim's Point of Vue, of course it's messy"... if I start forgetting how I'm writing my stories I'm not gonna go far...
 By the way, one @Chonaku-Things told me recently that it was impressive how I almost always manage to bring everything back to my ships (especially true for TimKon and SpideyTorch) and I would like to defend myself. It's not that I do it because I ship them, it's quite the opposite as I simply ended up shipping them because that's how they're written (whether on purpose or not). It's their fault, I just notice the patterns and end up shipping it because it's almost always there.
 Here's a post that explains how I see the timeline between the first Young Justice issue and Infinite Crisis (though it technically starts at the beginning of Robin v4). Well...Sort of.  I didn't detail it because for this all you need is an overview and I didn't have the faith to do it event by event (I have a relatively complete chart in my mind but I'm not an encyclopedia so there are some things that're missing or might be wrong for the detailed version that I'd have to look up. Which is why I keep this chart short and clear, it helps recenter the timeline and reduces the issues I have to go through when I need something a bit more complete, it's weird to have it done instead of just staying in my head).
Anyway, I'm a bit tired of people who talk about Tim's paranoia being on par with Bruce's as a way to show how extremely paranoid he is when: 
Bruce in Pre-New 52 wasn't actually that paranoïd (unlike New 52 or Nolan's movies, most of his choices come from his experience yet "paranoia" usually means it's not warranted).
Tim is like...one of the most trusting members of the Batfam. The end of his Robin run and his Red Robin series are his most distrustful periods and the kid still keeps on trusting people. (he told pretty much everyone he thought there might be a chance Bruce was alive. He told Cassie he had freaking heard the Anti-Life Equation, he trusted Lynx even if he knows it might not be true and I doubt it's just because she's pretty (even if Tim does have a weakness for pretty girls he still does these kinds of things everyone?...just not the making out part)).
I've also actually read A Lonely Place of Living and it was terrible. Like, I didn't expect to like it and I knew that if they tried to pretend N52/Rebirth Tim was the same as pre New 52 Tim it was going to get messy (different to the point of almost opposition personalities will do that to you), but I didn't expect it to be that bad. If you want my more complete opinion on ALPoL here's my liveblog of it.
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I just want to know a estimate from anyone else that has this car just to get an idea doesn't have to be exact ! It's a 2007 Toyota Camry (white) SE (special edition)
Can someone please help me find the best insurance for me?
I need something that covers dental, vision and as much Health as possible. (Routine check ups, lab work, specialist, etc) Something with an affordable deductible and Affordable Copay..I'm not very familiar in this area but I'm 99% sure that I have progressed type 2 Diabetes as well as other various health problems and desperately need to visit the doctor. Thank you.""
""21,no job,no health insurance,need meds, what do i do?""
i live in california & i had Health insurance for 3 months (medical) but they cut me off when i turned 21 in december. during those 3 months i was taking fluoxotine for my depression/social anxiety & nexium for dyspepsia. The meds actually worked. it took 2 weeks for my mood to change. i felt happy,less anxious & more talkative! but unfortunately i have ran out. My insurance company said they only take care of youth up to age 21 & the elderly. Well what does everyone else do? do any of you over 21 have Health insurance? if so what company? I have no money to pay for the meds myself, My fam cant afford it, i have no help, i cant get a job (ive been trying for two years) i Have no idea what to do.""
What is the best way to insure a car with a salvage title?
I recently purchased a car with a salvage title. This is my first car, and I'm in deep enough that it wouldn't make sense to get rid of it at this point. I would like to get collision insurance on it if possible. Really, there are a couple questions here: *NOTE: I live in Ohio. I'm not sure the answer to this question will be the same in all states. Can I have a car with a salvage title retitled with a clean title through some sort of govermnent inspection? If so, how would I go about this? Is there any way I can get collision insurance for my car? Will insurance rates be higher for me? Anything you can tell me will be much appreciated!""
How come they want this much for car insurance??
My brothers leasing a 2013 Buick Regal GS, They want $1900 a year from him for full coverage. They want $2000 from my dad a year ONE WAY for a 2008 jeep commander v6.. Both with perfect insurance records no tickets.""
How much would my insurance go up if i add a K N filter on to my car? if its 800 Now?
i drive a 09 reg Vauxhall Corsa SXi?
How can we get or is it possible to put a freeze for one or two years on health insurance cost?
I see BCBS is going up over 7% for 2011. Is there no stopping these rising costs? my poor pension.
Nissan 350z owners how much do you pay a month for car insurance?
Nissan 350z owners how much do you pay a month for car insurance?
Insurance rates for 17 yr olds?
Since insurance rates are ridiculously high for new drivers like me, I was thinking that if my parents could possibly buy a car for me to drive but put it under their name, and have it insured under their name so its cheaper since they're much older and have a lower insurance rate than I would. But I heard someone said that somehow insurance companies find this out and somehow find a way around this so the tactic i just suggested won't work. Anybody have any experience with this?""
What's a good life insurance I can get for my parents?
They're old life insurance just ended and are now charging $299/month for both of them...they only give $100,000 policy each. Mom is 61 years old and Dad is 65 y/o.....lives in California.""
How much would my car insurance be?
I'm 21 years old male and I live in NJ. I'm thinking about buying a used car and financing it. I was looking at GEICO website and the quote came out to about $1600/year for 2000 honda S2000. I was wondering if that amount is right. I selected collision and comprehensive coverage along with all the other coverage options. I thought full coverage would be much more expensive like $3000 but that is so low. So I was wondering if that amount is right. (I live in NJ with my uncle and my parents live in massachusetts)
Not declared 3 points on my license to insurance company is my insurance void?
9months after taking out my insurance I got done for speeding (sp30) 3 points on my license and I forgot to tell my insurance company. Today someone pulled out in front of me and hit my car, will not declaring my points cause me an issue with the claim? It wasn't my fault and my insurance company is looking to recover all costs from the third party. What do you think? Bit worried as insurance is arranging repairs, car hire etc and concerned about being stuck with a big billl if there is a problem with my insurance. Any advice greatly appreciated""
Is this how liability car insurance works in general and when you grant someone permission to drive your car?
This coverage pays for damage you (or someone driving the car with your permission) may cause to someone else's property. Usually, this means damage to someone else?s car. I called my car insurance and asked them and they said that insurance follows the car rather than a person. So no matter who would be driving it, it would basically be their responsibility. Now, would this also include letting your kid or a family member drive your car? even if they're not in the actual policy? It seems like when that is the case, things get somewhat confusing. I'd love to hear any input from anyone who ever has or currently does work in the car insurance world.""
Is this car insurance thing true?
I heard online that in Texas if you drive less than 35 miles a day, you'll get a HUGE discount in your insurance. It this true? Or is this just a lie?""
Do Car Insurance rates go up when being rear ended?
I was rear ended and it was NOT my fault. I live in California and have State Farm. Will my rates go up?
Insurance on an el camino?
I'm thinking of getting an el camino, late 70s or 80s, and I'm a new 17 year old driver, I was wondering what ibwould have to expect on insurance? From what I've heard it's considered a pick up, so it as close to a muscle car I can get without having to pay super high insurance, how much would decent coverage cost me with a v8? And what if I had gotten an SS model? Im not sure which one ti get and I want to know if there is a huge difference between them, obviously I won't be paying it on my own, my parents are until I get a job, so how much woukd it general cost? Considering one parent is 48 hs dropout, other is 38 graduated college, if it helps any at all. Regardless of the answer thank you for your time.""
Why do you have to have full coverage on certain cars?
I have only liability right now on a 2000 ford. I am trying to figure out how much my insurance will go up, and if I have to get full coverage or not. Also what is the longest you can have a car loan? I really would like a Nissan Murano maybe around 12,000-15,000 at the abs. maximum. What do you think my monthly payments would look like? Thank you for any advice.""
What kind of insurance do I need to purchase when renting a car?
I will be in the midwestern USA. I have basic car insurance through AAA. I have an American Express card which I understand offers some insurance. I'm a good alert driver. All the info I've seen so far confuses me. What is a reasonable amount of insurance? What can I do without? Thank you.
contents insurance quote racv
contents insurance quote racv
Am I able to check the status of my husbands car insurance claim ?
Last October , I sold my car so I would be able to buy a more gas efficient car. I found a car that I wanted that was a stick but didn't no how to drive stick. My husband talked ...show more""
""Why is it that if your pregnant, you can't get health insurance?""
I currently have Kaiser with my fathers business(I work for him). However, he is thinking of canceling the insurance. I found out 2 days ago that I am pregnant, my father still does not know, and I know he will be happy for me, and maybe will not cancel the insurance for me. However, why is it that if your pregnant you can't get insurance? How about if i still want to stick with Kaiser, but have it on my name only? Oh I live in Southern California cause I know sometimes people ask that.""
California motorcycle license???????????
I want to get a motorcycle license but heres my question, I dont have a motorcycle and if I was to buy one how could I get it insured? if I dont have a MC license? cause I know the insurance guy will ask me for my MC license first ( just like when you insure a car ) and heres another question, if I had a MC how would I be able to show proof of insurance to the place where you take the MC highway test ( not sure what its called ). Just to let you know I dont know anyone who has a MC so I could borrow it to take the test.""
Why are car insurance quotes sexist for young drivers (females are always cheaper)?
Just because they presume that since your a lad/guy your very likely to crash. And girls won't? Its not the Victorian era there's a lot of young women that are into cars & are racers. There just as likely to crash imo. It shouldn't be stereotypical that boys will wreck there car. Yes I love cars but I would never take risks in my first few years. It suck that I cant get an affordable insurance quote for my mothers 1.2 VW Polo. Yet a female friend of mine of the same age (18) can get covered on a 1.6 mini cooper for 1700. Thats not even her first car! When she was 17 she was driving a mercedes kompressor! I cant even get a quote below 2500 & I live in outside of Edinburgh City near the country side :( Plus theres insuramce companies out there that exist just for woman (Shielas wheels etc) that offer cgeap quotes to women! Its discrimination in my opinion.
Would having 2 cars be the same insurance as 1 car?
I have a 09 dodge charger, which you will probably figure the insurance is higher than average. So I was thinking, If I buy another lower level car, for example, a dodge neon. keep in mind that I am the owner of both cars, and only I will be driving the cars. would the insurance be the same or even lower?""
Is this quote accurate for my car insurance?
Hi ; I'm planning to buy a 1994 Honda Civic.Yesterday , I checked insurancehotline.com to see how much my insurance will cost. I'm a new driver in Toronto-Canada but have 3 years out -of- country experience. The cheapest quote which was shown is 4900 cdn.Let's be realistic guys , the car is 1500 cdn.How come is the insurance that much.How much is the approximate quote for me?""
""Can I purchase a car, and tow it home without insurance?""
I want to purchase a car from a small car place, the man puts 30 day tags on it and mails the title to the DMV, but my father cant get off work to come put insurance on the car for me. So can I buy the car there, have the title put in my name, but have the car towed home and stored off the street until I can add it to insurance and get my own tags? or is it illegal to tow a car without insurance on it?""
What's the cheapest deal/ car insurance i can get as an 18 year old girl (just passed)?
Passed my test yesterday. Which car/ which insurers would be the cheapest. I would happily have a black box etc. Might it be cheaper to have a parent as the named driver? I need to find insurance for around 1000 ideally. (Less would be great but don't think its likely). Thank you
How much is car insurance for a 16 year old girl and boy who live in new jersey?
how much is car insurance for a 16 year old boy and girl who live in new jersey? [for one year] if your in -geico- & -liberty mutual- ?? someone please help
What insurance company do cheap American car insurance for young drivers?
I'm 19 years old and I'm considering getting a 1985 Ford Mustang 5L V8 in England. The question is who is going to insure me at a reasonable price? I'm not looking at using the car everyday, I probably wont put 4k miles on the clock in a year. Please, can anyone help me?""
Where can I find low cost insurance plans?
I am 19 years old and I want to sign up for health, dental, and vision insurance. What are some insurance plans that I can look into, that are low cost?""
How much has disability insurance rates increased in the last 5 years? 10 years?
I am 30 years old female trying to decide whether I can afford disability insurance with the noncancelable.
""Can I report my (former) car insurance to someone, Texas?""
I was insured with a cut rate car insurance company because I needed a SR22 for no insurance from many, many, years ago that finally did catch up to me just now. Anyway, I was having my payment drafted out of my debit card each month. Well a few days before my insurance was due I realized that I unexpectedly was going to be short. It was due one day & I didn't get paid for another 2 days. So I called up my agent & explained the situation & asked if my policy had a grace period? They put me on hold to check. They came back on the telephone & said yes I had 7 days from the date it was due. They said I would be fine cause I got paid 2 days later. Well I go back up there a couple of days later to make my payment. Mind you, I'm still well w/in the grace period. The computer would not take my payment. The agent made a call, then spoke to someone, & then informed me my insurance was dropped for lack of payment. I was like whoa I was told I had a full week grace period She said to me Well, when you called you didn't inform us that you had your insurance drafted from your debit card. I was like A) Y'all didn't ask when I called & B) How in the world would I know to tell you that? Especially since y'all never asked. They basically said Oh well. She did make it clear that if I had not had auto drafting that the grace period would still stand. Maybe I'm clueless but I never had an incident where I was ever late on my car insurance. Now my DL is suspended. I don't know if this place gets a kick back by starting over my insurance w/a whole new policy. If I had had started over again the rate would jump & I would have to repay them to refile my SR22. Is that legal?? Like I said what do I know????""
""What are some inexpensive, yet reliable auto insurance companies?""
I need a new auto insurance company, Allstate just raised my rates through the roof. But I don't want it to be an unreliable company that will drop me for one little crack in my winshield. State Farm and all those companies are too expensive for me (I am a teenager and work part-time). I live in CA. Any suggestions?""
How much on insurance do you think this car would be?
Hey everyone, A little background on me first. I'm 18 and a female. I work at Popeyes (maybe Kohl's soon) and I am looking at getting a 370Z Nissan. The car ( with the features I want done to it ) costs about $45,000. I'm just wondering how much insurance will cost and if I can just stick with Popeyes or have to get a second job. I wont be getting the car till another 3 months because I need to save u for a down payment but I didn't know how much insurance will cost. If you guys have any clue please let me know. Thank you so much(: -Tayson""
Car Insurance Yearly Cost.?
I am a 19 year old male, and have had a licence for basically 3 years now, I live in Alberta Canada, and have already completed my Test to get off of my GDL (Graduated Drivers Licence). I have taken, and completed driver training, and I have not made a claim or gotten any driving infractions (tickets or whatever) whatsoever. Without collision on my 2003 honda Civic coupe, what should my yearly insurance payment be? Right not I am paying $1600 and it seems like it is too much.""
Where can I get renter's insurance for cheap?
For an apartment in California
State Farm insurance ?
I work for state farm insurance, what do other insurance companies say about us? not what policy holders think but what other companies only""
Insurance on a 92 Vtec honda prelude?
approx. what would insurance on a 92 Vtec Honda prelude be for a Canadian 17 year old guy with with a successfully drivers education course completed? and if possible what would be the cheapest place to go for my insurance?
Insurance Q???
im gonna be getting a car over the summer or on my 16th b-day (winter time) My parents Have State Farm, my zipcode *45616* (ohio) i want a convertible how much do you think my insurance will be, or W/ a Truck.""
What do I do if The person who hit my car doesn't have insurance?
My car was hit today while parked. Smashed in my driver door pretty bad. A Honda ran a stop sign, hit a Celica that was going straight and the impact from the hit caused my parked car to hit by the Celica. The Honda that caused the accident doesn't have insurance, and didn't have his drivers license on him either. The cops cited him, but The Celica is totaled & my door is completely smashed in. I don't know how to go about this. He ****** my car, and he doesn't have to pay? I live in California. I do have insurance, so do I take care of it myself? I just don't think that sounds right.""
Where can I get temporary van insurance?
I'm looking for temporary van insurance for my van as I want to drive it to Spain for a few days but don't use it enough to warrent paying for a year's insurance. I would also need european breakdown cover, so if someone could help with that as well, I would be very grateful.""
What is the average cost in california for a 600cc motorcycle insurance as first vehicle(18 year old)?
Im trying to figure out how much im going to pay for 600cc motorcycle insurance(minimum insurance not full cover).i am 18 years old and it is going to be my first vehicle.
Receive workers comp benefits disabled age 62 can i received medicare or any supplement to health insurance?
Receive workers comp benefits disabled age 62 can i received medicare or any supplement to health insurance?
Which insurance company is the cheapest for a young female?
This is for a car, and i was thinking about sharing with my mum on her vehicle ( a rav 4, 1400cc, 4x4 ) Don't know if that will help/make a difference, but any help from you would be greatly appreciated, Thanks [=""
contents insurance quote racv
contents insurance quote racv
US health insurance - question?
We are Canadians moving to the US in couple of weeks and we have just applied for medical insurance in the US, filled out all the papers and we'd like to know whether the insurance company will call our Canadian doctor to get our medical records? We want to make our doctor aware of this and at the same time, to be honest, we did not know exactly the dates when we've been at the doctor's office, we put down approximate dates on the insurance applic form and we do not want to be denied because of misrepresentation or something like that. At the same time, here in Canada, just because healthcare is universal, you don't get any medical papers or records to keep track on when you've been at the doctor's office. Thanks a lot.""
Insurerance companies unable to insure me- why is this?
im in the process of buying a second hand toyota yaris sr (first registered in 2000). i have one other car and have no problems getting insured on it. for some reason with the yaris i cannot get insured (even with same insurance company) even though my personal circumstances havent changed. any ideas why this might be? also with one copmpany they'd insure me if it didnt have alloy wheels but because it does they wouldnt.
Can I get car insurance if I don't have a SSN? Will that cost more?
Guys, I'm an international student who is about to go to California in the upcoming September. Currently I'm holding a international driver's permit and a valid driver's license from my home country. I want to purchase a car and get myself covered by the insurance asap upon my arrival. But as a alien, I won't be eligible for a SSN before next year, so I can get insurance without it? If the the answer is yes, will that cost more if I have a SSN? Furthermore, anyone know if I can get car insurance just on my international driver's permit? Thank you in advance!""
Does the colour of a car affect insurance rates?
I mean we all know that the obvious differences between certain cars like the engine size and performance, make of car, year of manufacture etc all affects the insurance cost but does the colour make a difference too? Someone said to me that darker coloured cars like black cost more to insure on that basis than lighter coloured ones like white or silver is this true?""
Can anyone tell me any health insurance companies that cover fertility treatments ?
i haven't started fertility treatments yet so i have no prob going to a new endocrinologist, gyno or clinic ect - because they will be new either way ! of coarse a insurance that covers the most fertility treatments would be best but just tell me the name and what treatments if any that you know they cover ( thanks in advance)""
CAR INSURANCE. Cheaper car insurance?
There are 3 drivers in our house (Dad, me and my brother) and two cars (usualy 3), is there a cheaper way to insure all of us on all the cars?""
Think of buying a catagory D car which is an insurance write off?
I have just been to view a 2005 Nissan Micra with 13100 on the clock the car had a crush which damage the tail gate and the bumper both have been replaced to a high standard. The car would be worth 5000 but is selling for 2200. Everything seems good at 1st glance but i am concerned about insurance and weather or not it's a good ideal to take the gamble. The seller showd me the before and after pictures of the car and it seemed to fit wot he was saying. He also has a valied MOT which is a month old I don't plan on selling the car if i buy it. How much damage can a knock do to the front of the vehicle or any of the important parts? Please can someone advise wot the best thing would be to do?
Car insurance queries?
its got no insurance but taxed and motd can i drive it on my licence i can drive any car not belonging to me with owners permission
Car Insurance - Older owner still has insurance on it?
I had my car signed over to me on the 2nd November and received my V5 back on the 10th. I got the car insured ASAP as required on a daily basis. I have recently found out that the previous owner STILL has insurance on it and has arranged for it to be fully cancelled on the 1st December to collect their no claims bonus. Obviously I cannot make them cancel the policy but does this invalidate my insurance until the 1st Dec/make it illegal to use my car until this date?
How much cost an insurance car in North Carolina?
How much cost an insurance car in North Carolina?
What is a good health insurance company to get?
im 60 and in very good health, never been sick. im thinking about changing jobs and the job i might take doesnt have any insurance plan or anything. but a better job for me. how much would it cost for me to get my own insurance? iv heard it cost a lot. ( MONTHLY) ?""
What insurance group is a 1965 FORD MUSTANG FASTBACK?
What insurance group is a 1965 FORD MUSTANG FASTBACK?
Loan insurance?
is it worth getting loan insurance? or is the whole thing a big scam
I want to get certified to sell car insurance?
I do not know too much about insurance, although the person that will be employing me has worked in the car biz for a long time and needs some one to deal with the insurance in his new business. Where can i get certified, does it take long, etc.? Please offer me any info.""
How much does health insurance cost?
I am from the UK and I am doing an assignment on whether medicine can be justified to have a price tag. As I have free public healthcare from the country (NHS), and I do not have private healthcare. I would like a guide as to how much health insurance would cost for a child, man, and woman with no health condtions. Please be specific and add more examples if you can.""
Should i get home insurance as a home owner or a rental ?
i own a house and i rent out part of it . i pay about 925 per year. i am moving out of state should i switch to rental property rather then owner occupied insurance ? which one is better or cheaper
""What insurance companies will insure a Lamborghini gallardo, bently, Mclaren, or any other expensive cars?""
I do not own any... my freind has a mclaren, but im curious which companies like that insure cars like that
Car insurance?
does your physical health affect your car insurance rates?
Lower my car insurance?
My car insurance is high, $1060 for just 6 months because of 2 accidents in the last few years. I am 21 and drive a 2000 Honda Accord Ex V6. I've shopped around and no other company's are lower so don't recommend that. Do you know any tricks to getting your car insurance lowered??""
How much did you pay for your first car insurance? !?
Hey im gettin a first car soon, i only passed last week! and i understand that insurance for first time buyers is VERY expensive! If anyone could quote me some of the prices they payed on insurance for there first and the car they had that would be great!!! (IN ENGLAND  BY THE WAY)""
How much is the insurance premium on a motorcycle 125cc?
Male, 18, Passenger car probationary licence suspended once on 2 accounts of speeding Preferably in Quebec, Canada""
Can you pay car insurance monthly without extra charges?
Most car insurers charge a direct debit fee up to 30% APR if you pay monthly - are there any free ones (or at least cheaper ones)?
About how much would it cost to be added onto your parents car insurance per month?
i am a 17 yr. old girl. am a reasonably good driver and i got a 92 on the written test. any approximation would be helpful.
Why buy life insurance if you are young?
What is the benefit of buying life insurance if you are young and not married and have no kids?
What are teenage driving insurance rates for girls?
whats the cheapest in illionois? do i have to have insurance while driving w/ a permit??
contents insurance quote racv
contents insurance quote racv
Renting a car for the first time- do I have to buy insurance bc my personal car insurance is not in my name?
My car and car insurance are under my fiancees name. I will be renting a car on my own. Do I have to buy the insurance because it's not in my name?
Auto insurance for daughter's boyfriend?
My daughter's car is covered under our policy but we do not want to add her boyfriend. She (20) is losing her license for 3 months and wants the boyfriend (21) to drive her car. Can he get insurance that would cover him while driving her car? The car is in her name and my husbands.
What do the insurance groups of cars mean. for instance is 1 high or low.?
What do the insurance groups of cars mean. for instance is 1 high or low.?
Can I get an auto insurance without owning a car?
Over the next couple of weeks, I'll be renting a car. Since the insurance from rental companies is so expensive, I'm planning to get my own liability insurance and use it with the rental vehicle... can I do that? I do not own a car! Also, what is the best insurance company for me, I'm 23/male/texas with a clean record.""
How much i will paid from insurance Vauxhall Astra DR5 1.4 1995 year and where is the cheaper??
Vauxhall Astra DR5 engine1.4 made in 1995 year.I am looking from something cheap but good.
How much does the insurance company raise your rates if you use your car for work?
I'm talking about reading meters where I had to use it everyday, often driving from house to house or business to business all day. And I still have a lien on my car. I currently pay about $60 a month.""
What is a cheap insurance?
I am a student and i dont want to pay a lot for car insurance i want the cheapest
Have Democrats forgotten that Candidate Obama opposed forcing people to buy health insurance?
http://www.campaignforliberty.com/blog.php?view=27950 As Obama said in the January 31st primary debate: Senator Clinton. . . believes that we have to force people who don't have health insurance to buy it. Otherwise, there will be a lot of people who don't get it. I don't see those folks. And I think that it is important for us to recognize that if, in fact, you are going to mandate the purchase of insurance and it's not affordable, then there's going to have to be some enforcement mechanism that the government uses. And they may charge people who already don't have health care fines, or have to take it out of their paychecks. And that, I don't think, is helping those without health insurance. That is a genuine difference.""
Car insurance with child?
Do you have to get different car insurance to have a child in the car?
Health and Maternity Insurance.?
My wife and I are wanting to have a baby and need to get health insurance that includes maternity. I have gotten a couple quotes, but they all seems somewhat high being that she is only 22 and in great health. Who would be the best and most affordable provider to talk to? Thanks, Dustin""
Insurance on a '98 Mustang?
16yr old girl in Ohio, just wondering the cost before i try and sell the idea to my dad lol. Yellow w/ body kit. Help? :)""
Car Insurance?
how much car insurance do i pay for a 6000 dollar car
CAR INSURANCE FOR A 17 YEAR OLD?
would it be more expensive for car insurance for a brand new car or a used car.
Harley Davidson Insurance -Typical Cost?
I am a 19-year old male who has been riding a motorcycle for about 3 years and took a rider safety course. I was wondering what possible insurance costs would be for a Harley 883 Sportster, probably a 98 or newer (probably nothing newer than a 2005 though). Specifically, I was wondering about American Family Insurance (but any general info would be appreciated too). I am looking to upgrade my bike (along with the size of my engine, ive been driving a 250 for a while now). I beleive american family cant even cover sport bikes for a rider like me, so i was thinking about getting another cruiser/standard style bike. i have kind of been drawn towards Harley, but if insurance is too expensive, ill have to look for something else. Does anyone have any other suggestions for bikes? or general info? thanks""
How much is car insurance for 16 year old male?
How much is car insurance for 16 year old male?
Car insurance for 18 yr old male RIDICULOUS?
I'm 18 and male, so turns out car insurance companies think its okay to rape my wallet. I've been looking at a few quotes on different sites and they come up in the $300-$400 range. I tweak a few things, telling the generator that I'm a 30 year old married woman and then it magically drops to $70 per month. This is crazy, I'm an extremely careful driver, I never drive over the speed limit and I constantly check my mirrors. How the hell do young males afford it?""
Can you answer this about Allstate Insurance commericals ?
Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says Not available in all states ?
Does car insurance get significantly cheaper when you turn 21?
Does car insurance get significantly cheaper when you turn 21?
Any statefarm agents that can help with a car insurance question?
I had my auto insurance with state farm for several years. I used to live in Miami, Fl for pretty much the whole time until this past January that i moved to Orlando. Until now (October 2012) i hadn't changed my address because i was planning on going back but now that i decided to stay in Orlando i ended up changing to another insurance company because my policy was going to be A LOT cheaper. My question is, should i be able to get retroactive pay for the difference in my premium from the more expensive premium that i was paying in Miami and the much lower one from Orlando? I sent my state farm agent my lease contract since the beginning of the year and she said that they weren't going to allow it. Does that sound right? I know it was my responsibility to have my addresses changed but since i didn't and i was paying my premium for one city while living at another. Thanks!""
Medical insurance help!!!!!?
Ok so I'm 20 and my insurance is or was IEHP. I am married now and I want to know if this still covers me. I want to go to the clinic and get checked up and get birthcontrol but I'm not sure if its going to cover me. My husband does not have medical insurance either. Can anyone please help!?? :(
""First time buyer buys a new car, how much was your interest RATE?""
Maybe I mean insurance instead of interest, I'm not sure, I don't know that much. I've heard that first time buyers, when buying a car, had little to no interest simply because they've never bought before. Is this true? Please give examples.""
How much would a personal health insurance policy cost for a family of 5?
My friend is thinking about quitting his job to play poker for a living. I abolutely don't think it's a good idea because he has three kids, so you don't have to tell me that... Although over the past month of doing that in AC, he is averaging $450/day, and he is smart about how much he risks and an amazing player. Anyway he had a union job with great medical insurance; but if he did this for a living at $450/day... he'd still be making like three times what he did/year. His medical insurance would have to be purchased individually now. I was wondering if anyone knew what that could cost for a family of 5? I'm thinking like 6-10K per year... that sound about right?""
Car insurance?????????????????
i just got a quote from adrimal car insurance... and im going on through someone elses insurance..... i have been driving for a month and there quote was 658 a year.... around 54 a month.... the car is a saxo 1.6 8v is this quote good? thanks x
Assurant Health Insurance?
At a previous job I had good health insurance but adding my husband was costly so we got him BCBS IL through a local insurance agent. He is not the type to go to the doctor very often so a very basic plan is what we got him. It started out only being $160 for 3 months; now today I received a letter that it will be going up to $250 for 3 months. I have changed jobs and kept my insurance for awhile through Cobra but eventually found different coverage because the Cobra was so high in cost. But of course it has went up to almost $300 a month. I have been searching online for health insurance and found Assurant and it seems like I can get good coverage at a fair price. Do you have assurant? Do you think it's good coverage? Do you have any problems with using it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Do insurance rates go up when you break off a side mirror?
backing out of the driveway, I broke off my side mirror, the car is fine but the mirror cracked off, surprisingly the mirror itself didn't break nor was the exterior scratched.. it just cracked off. Anyway, do you know how much it will cost to replace and if my insurance rate will go up? thanks..""
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contents insurance quote racv
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I have a 1999 Honda Accord , Fair condition, 124,000 miles. I am paying aprox 1500 per year for my plan. I am 26 with some points . Last Ticket was in Jan 2005 speeding, one other ticket in 2004. Clean since then. One accident that was not my fault. Should I drop my collison and does anyone have an idea on what a typical plan would run me? I feel like a 1500 dollar plan on a car that is worth 4500-5000 blue book car is a bit much. Thanks""
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where is the best site to get term life insurance quotes?
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How much would the rate be of the car insuance?
Ok. How much would car insurance cost on a 2007 BMW 335i coupe for an 18 year old driver with about 33,000 miles on the car. Also, how much would a 1999 ford Mustang gt witH 121,000 miles on the car for an 18 year old driver. the bmw will b in a covered shared lot while the mustang will be parked in an uncovered shared lot. We live in pheonix arizona. My car, the mustang, will be used for driving to work, as well as going to class. Same for my boyfriends car, the bmw. School is 4 miles away and work for me is about 25 miles aeay when his is only 1.5. Thabks for everyone who helps(:""
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How to get cheap auto insurance?
So I just bought a new car tgats financed in my name. Even though my driving record is spitless im 23 so my insurance is crazy high. Everyone keeps telling me to get on.my parents insurance. How do I do thus legally so that if I ever need to make a claim.there will be no issues?
How much will insurance go up?
I backed into to my friends car in our driveway and where i hit it it made is back door screw up pretty bad the door closes but anyways he went and got it estimated and they said approx. 3500 in damage about how much will this make my insurance go up i havent had any prior accidents and im 19.
""Im 16 and need to get cheap insurance, any suggestions?""
Im 16 yrs old, female, very independent and just bought a car; a 2002 chrysler pt cruiser. Im needing to get car insurance and be being 16 I know it'll be expensive so im needing to know where the cheapest place to get insurance for liability coverage in the state of Kentucky.""
What would the insurance be on a 2010 Camaro SS?
I know there are a lot of things that factor into the cost of insurance but if anyone could give me a ballpark estimate that would be great.
What is current on the insurance business?
Has there been any development or change? this is for a job interview
Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?
Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?
Should I get a 1988 944s Porsche?
I am 16 years old and selling a 99 dodge durango. Someone has offered to trade a 1988 944s Porsche and am very interested. I am also very worried about how much it will cost to maintain this car and how much insurance will cost. Also when I look at the car should I be looking for any specific problems? Thanks
What would the full coverage insurance be for a 2008 eclipse gs?
I'm 15 years old with a permit. I'm doing this for a driver's ed. project at school so it doesn't have to be very accerate.
How much would lowering my mileage by 5k save me in california?
So being a teenager(19) and a male with a ticket I'm paying around 900 for insurance. Tickets my fault I accept the punishment. However, I switched jobs and After calculating distance I'm only going to be driving around 5000 miles rather than the 10 on my insurance. Just kind of curious how much the mileage drop could save me since my insurance agency isn't being much help.""
Help finding an orthodontist that accepts my insurance?
Hi everybody well ive been wanting to get braces but i cant afford them and i cant seem to find one anyways i live in California my insurance plan is Healthy Kids its a program part of Healthy Plans of San Mateo County i live in South San Francisco and i really desperately need help finding an orthodontist in or around this area i want my braces really bad like asap so yeah please if anyone can help me out it will be gladly appreciated! thanks
Where can I find affordable but good coverage for health insurance?
My bf is currently paying out of his check $70 a week for ins and dental, Blue Cross. This includes him and our son. But we barely are making our bills right now. There has got to be another health ins company that Drs will take that is affordable. Please help ;)""
How do we get insurance companies to reduce medical insurance premiums to employers?
Let's face it, here in the U.S. the medical insurance premiums for group health coverage is rising faster than inflation. As a result, a lot of companies are either reducing the levels of coverage in order to offset the cost of insurance, increasing the deductible, and or increasing the cost to the employees for the insurance premiums. The problem is that insurance companies have no incentive to reduce insurance premiums. They continue to get record profits and this issue is out of control. How do we get the insurance companies to decrease insurance premiums to the rate of inflation, or better yet, start reducing the cost of premiums for a change?""
How much will my insurance rise?
I recently got a speeding ticket for going 9 over in a school zone as well as one for talking on a cell phone in a school zone. I was curious as to how much my insurance will rise. I am 18 and recieved the ticket in Texas. This is my first offense(s). How many points for insurance is a cell phone ticket? Thanks so much!
Switching Dental Insurance?
So I will finally be getting benefits from my workplace and I got the dental insurance where it will cover 50% ortho for adults because I am planning to get braces. The thing is, I am finishing up my last semester to get my degree from college and looking to get a new job. My question is, how does it work if I were to get braces with my insurance NOW and then get a new insurance? Does it still cover the costs or will it carry on over? What will happen?""
What is the cheapest auto insurance if you have points on your record?
I got myself a DUI 6-7 years ago. I was told by many that prices of insurance would go down after 5 but apparently it's after 10 years. I am on a very low budget but drive for work and drive to where there is no bus or train to take care of my parents. please if any one knows any good but cheap insurance for an older 4wd car. thanks.
Looking for Catastrophic Health Insurance provider in Florida?
Hi, I DO NOT want to compare rates, I would like a link or phone number of a specific provider if someone knows of one that they can recommend. And please tell me your experience with them, or how you go their number... All the sites I have been to are regular plans not catastrophic, plus, I want a personal recommendation, (well, this is better than just going on the internet blindly). If is for a friend of mine. She is 50, lives in FL. She wants Catastrophic Health Insurance only, (no doctor visits, labs, rx...) Thank you -Dixie""
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And I mean car insurance that you don't have to pay over 100 dollars for.
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my health insurance card has expired and i fly tomorrow? is this card important? if i get ill will they still treat me? and will my insurance company cover me still?
Car insurance in NY for a 21 year old? Please Help?
I would like to purchase a used car in NY. Im curious to know if I need to purchase the car before I get insurance or can I buy the insurance then decide what car I want. Im actually not sure what car I would like to get right now, but in NY you cannot register a car without car insurance. Also, I would like to know which insurance companies will give me the lowest quote for my age and despite me driving for years with a permit, I just recently got my driver's license. I haven't established any credit yet, because I know they look at that too but I do live on my own and im gainfully employed. Whoever gives the best answer gets 10 points. Thank You""
Do you need to pay for insurance if you're using a family car?
Im 16, and am getting my license soon. Do i need to pay the $1500 dollars a month for insurance, or does the family insurance cover me? Im wondering if the insurance is for the person, or the car that the person is driving.""
auto insurance quote deals
auto insurance quote deals
Insurance cost for new biker?
Hi I would like to ask people in my group of age (24 yrs old) how much would I have to pay for insurance, just passed my CBT and I'm looking for 125cc Cruiser, didn't find anything yet, but I'm trying to calculate the costs. I've checked few insurance sites and made quotes, but still confused.""
Car insurance lapse question for NY?
We don't do automatic payment with our insurance so sometimes we don't have enough to pay and twice we'd lapsed in three years. First time we paid the civil penalty on all three vehicles. This time? There's a three year limit; we had to turn in the plates for eight days (the amount of lapsing) and wait while using a rental car. My mother found out by getting pulled over and getting a ticket. We just got the new plates, new stickers, and are fine now. But she said when you pay the civil penalty you are cleared immediately in the system; if you get new plates and registration, is it the same? She said it can take up to three months until cops read that your registration is valid. I'm having an anxiety attack over this as I've never gotten pulled over and am terrified of cops and travel populated, cop traveled streets to my job. Thanks.""
Cheap car insurance for new drivers??
does anybody know where i can get the cheapest car insurance for a Peugeot 106 1.1 im 17 and should pass my test by November, thanks.""
""What is the pros and cons of 3rd party,fully comp and no insurance?""
What is the pros and cons of 3rd party,fully comp and no insurance?""
Cheapest insurance company?
I want the cheapest no fault insurance for my car, 1994 beretta""
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Why don't republicans want Americans to have access to affordable health insurance?
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I've contacted two advisers regarding life insurance and critical illness cover. Both of them suggest difference insurers and their price is significantly different than the comparison sites. Do they get commission from insurers companies depending on their suggestions?
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considering everything else equal (age, experience, w/e), how is the price of insurance for a 2001 toyota celica compared to cars of the same price range? eg accord, sports cars, compact cars, midsize""
Which insurance company is cheapest for young drivers?
MY MOTHER HAS 4 YEARS NO CLAIM BONUS AND I JUST GOT MY LICIENCE AND LOOKING TO GET INSURED ON A CLIO 1.2 OR CORSA1.2 WHICH INSURANCE COMPANY IS THE CHEAPEST?? THANKYOU!
Young Drivers Car Insurance In London?
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Anybody got a guess for what it could cost to get insurance on a 95 mustang in ny?
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I am an 18 year old british citizen. I lived in the US for 6-7 years and got a license at the age of 16. I am now in the process of getting car insurance. and am wondering if this 'loophole' is technically legal. I can drive on my US license for up to 12 months, during that 12 months I can get a UK prov. license. take the driving lessons and do the theory/test to get my full UK license. while shopping around last night I noticed a website saying 'provisional insurance is cheap, but expect it to go up once you pass your test.' Now, I understand the reason why it's cheaper is due to the fact that you probably wouldn't be driving as much, and you need a 'known' driver with you in the car while you're driving. However, couldn't I be considered my own driver? If I have a provisional license would I not be eligable for provisional license insurance? is this legal? or am I just being a hopeful idiot?""
Car insurance questions (Still on parent's plan)?
I have a few questions... Is there a set age where I can no longer be on my mom's car insurance? Or is it completely up to her? For example can two adults (both in their 40's) be on the same insurance? I am 19. I currently live with my mom. If I were to move out, can I still be on her insurance? If I don't go to college, can I still be on her insurance? I heard you need to be a full time student to be on a parent's insurance? If I were to buy a car, would it have to be in her name?""
Car insurance for minors !?
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How much does an automatic 2004 Nissan 350z insurance cost in vancouver b.c?
If im 19 and living with my parents still will getting a motorcycle affect there insurance?
I want to get my own policy but my parents are worried that it will still raise there insurance because i live with them i just need to kno if this will make there insurance more expensive and an idea of how much insurance will cost im im getting a new honda cbr 250r
Car insuance??
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Cheap sr22 insurance?
I'm looking for a cheap sr22 insurance. Anyone can help me? Thanks
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I'm planning to get this car when i get my licence i was just wondering how much it would cost me. I'm getting it with bodykit and custom paintjob and it will be my first car
Where can a person find affordable health insurance...?
...in Illinois if they are single, childless, and with low income?""
Where can i get the best deal on sr-22 insurance?
i live in pleasant hill iowa right off of des moines and i need to get the best quote on sr-22 does anyone a good insurance company?
Want to cancel my whole life insurance?
Back in July 09, I let my stepmother's boyfriend create a life insurance policy for me. He works as an agent for New York Life, and since I know nothing about insurance, I just let him take care of everything. For personal reasons, I want to cancel the insurance. I will get something else, probably term, very soon. I just still know nothing about insurance, so I have a few questions about my policy. I do have whole life insurance, so I should be able to get some money back, right? Currently, I have a $50k plan, and I pay just under $50 a month. I got this policy when I was 18, so the monthly cost seems a little high--especially since I have no dependents or debt. If I die tomorrow, I could still get a really nice funeral (not that I want one) and have it all payed in full from the money I have from my inheritance. Was I ripped off or is this pretty standard? Online, it says my Net Cash Value is $37.97. Is this the money I get back if I cancel? It seems low--it's only about 3.2% of the total amount I've paid. I was expecting some amount closer to 10%. Ideally, I'd like to cancel without talking to my agent. Is there any way I could do it through a general agent or online?""
Are there any mandatory insurances for employees?
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Is this normal for home insurance?
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auto insurance quote deals
auto insurance quote deals
How much do speeding tickets effect your insurance ?
I got 2 speeding tickets, my first and second one of my life and im only 17. How will these tickets effect my insurance ?""
Whats the cheapest car insurance?
Whats the cheapest car insurance?
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Two years ago, my ex and I bought a car under her name. It was registered in her name, and the loan was in her name. The insurance was in mine. We split up, and now neither of us drives the car. She didn't have a license at the time of purchase, and she still doesn't, but I did. The dealer told us that we could get the loan in her name, and register it in mine, even though she didn't have a license. When we got the plates, it was registered in her name. The dealer said that was fine, and it was nothing to worry about. We found out that this is illegal to do in New Jersey. We tried to get the dealer to rectify the situation, but they wouldn't touch it. Now, the car doesn't have any insurance or a registration, and a representative from the bank says that they can force her to get car insurance, even though she doesn't have license. Is this legal? Can a bank force someone to get insurance, even if they aren't even legal to drive in NJ? Please help me with this.""
Is this a normal car insurance rate?
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I wanna buy insurance for my car?
I wanna buy insurance for my car . In my postcode insurance is very expensive if i give a another postcode to insurance company car insurance is very cheap . Is this ok if i buy car insurance and give a another postcode to insurance company .....
What are three good life insurances in california?
i need specific details about these companies
CAR INSURANCE FOR A 16 YEAR OLD?
would it be more expensive for car insurance for a brand new car or a used car.
Car bump and getting insurance.?
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What other types of insurance should I get?
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""Can I buy a car under my name, and put it under my parents insurance policy?""
Ive been looking into purchasing a new vehicle, Im 18 and fresh out of high school and my car is okay, but its just a money pit. I want to put the car under my name to get a better intrest rate, but i cant afford paying expensive insurance policy. So can i purchase the car in my name and put it under my parents insurance policy?""
Will having a turbo charged engine increase my car insurance?
I'm buying a Mini Cooper S which is turbo charged and I was wondering if it will make my insurance rates go up
Will a first time speeding ticket in Missouri effect my insurance and i have Statefarm insurance?
Will a first time speeding ticket in Missouri effect my insurance and i have Statefarm insurance?
I am looking for federal court cases related to insurance claims?
I am looking for federal court cases related to insurance claims?
Car insurance cost for a 17 year old?
I'm going to start driving next year and will probably be driving something like a p reg civic (1.4) does anyone have an average insurance price for a car around this size (1.0-1.6) and around this age (m-51 reg)
""Can some body tell much i have to for my car insurance, if i live in brooklyn and 18 with new license?""
hey, i am planning to bye a car by next month, but before i go buy it, i need know how i have pay for my insurance, i am 18 just got my license and live in brooklyn, can somebody what is the most could i have pay...""
Oregon car insurance?
Can I give my daughter my car registered in my name and she get car insurance for it?
Firebird 2003 owners. How much do you pay for car insurance on your Firebird?
Firebird 2003 owners. How much do you pay for car insurance on your Firebird?
Can anyone supply me with a link to get a FREE driving record report...without a hidden cost?
Needing to get insurance but need a report of driving record...every link I click on it ends up costing something....
What is the least expensive auto insurance company?
Currently have geico...
Does the American political system of democracy provide health insurance??
I'm doing a report and I don't quite understand how the american political system of demorcracy provides health insurance ? Help please?? Thank you!
Is car insurance cheaper for older vehicles?
Well i have a 2007 Nissan Altima and i pay $116.67/month, and i was wanting to by an older camper van to live in. Would my insurance be cheaper on the van?""
How can I get medical insurance?
I been diagnosed with Crohn's disease for a few years now so it's been very difficult trying to get any medical insurance. I was wondering how can I get it without any more problems?
Do you have to buy full coverage insurance?
If you are finance a car from a dealer? This would be in california
Best/cheapest car insurance for new 20-something year old New York driver?
20-something New York driver - I need car insurance. If I get insured here, it's bound to be THOUSANDS (probably around 5) :( Who do you suggest I go with? How's esurance?""
Can a named driver get covered for business insurance on the policy insurance company sayin no is this correct?
Can a named driver get covered for business insurance on the policy insurance company sayin no is this correct?
auto insurance quote deals
auto insurance quote deals
What does a saliva test took for when getting life insurance?
What does a saliva test took for when getting life insurance?
Which car insurance companies should I look into?
I'm looking for car insurance and was wondering which companies you would suggest I look into and get quotes from? Which company do you have and what do you like / not like about them? Thanks!!
Life Insurance?
I am about to meet with a Insurance Broker and I wanted to be aware so that I am not sold what he wants to sell me instead of what I need. Does anyone have any good tips or resources?
How much am I gointo pay for car insurance?
I am 17 turning 18 soon and when I graduate I plan on getting a 2011 Subaru WRX STI or a 2012 Mustang GT . I was just wondering how much I am going to be paying for insurance on either one. I will be 18 when I get it, I am a male and have a clean driving record. Please help, this will most likely be the deciding factor for which car I get. I would also like to know which car you would get. Thanks!!!""
Insurance rates on sporty cars ?
Would insurance be absolutly insane for a 16 yr old in a 91 toyota mr2 turbo or a 95 mitsubishi eclipse gst or a 95 mustang gt or a 91 toyota mr2 non turbo? Does anybody know about the difference in rates for these cars ir cars like acura integras. Thanks
Can someone give me advice on good health insurance that offers maternity coverage??
I am looking into individual health insurance because my hubby and I are trying to conceive and I don't have any. I know I need to have it BEFORE i become pregnant. I don't know a thing about insurance and can't seem to find any insurance companies that offer maternity coverage.......I work for a temp agency and have worked for them for a year and a half and their insurance is astronomical so I'm looking on my own. My hubby doesn't have insurance where he works as a mechanic so i can't get it through his insurance. Any advice would help!!!!
Will my car insurance go up even more now?
Two weeks ago I rear ended a Ford F150. There was very little damage done to their truck, but my mazda protoge was declared totaled. No ambulance was called and the people in the truck acted just fine. The driver was a lady who I thought was just obese but it turns out from the police report that she was 9 months pregnant. I was not arrested or anything at this scene but I did get a ticket for careless driving by failing to yield. I am a 25 year old male btw and I was on my mom's insurance driving her car. We called the insurance and found out that she was monitored and the baby was ok. She was due next week, but the insurance hasn't heard about the delivery or anything. The lady, however is claiming neck and back injuries. Will my insurance go up more because of the accident AND her claims or just the accident itself? I have to go to court in June just for the accident (it is mandatory here for every traffic violation). I need to know how much my insurance will go up to get a newcar""
Insurance on a '98 Mustang?
16yr old girl in Ohio, just wondering the cost before i try and sell the idea to my dad lol. Yellow w/ body kit. Help? :)""
On homeowners insurance .. What is the difference between Replacement cost and Acutal cash Value? what pays mo
What pays more and what is the least expensive?? please some one explain to me in detail.. Does my home need to be insured with the market value???
""How much does E&O insurance policy of 300,000 cost?""
I want to go into a business venture and part of my requuirements is to have a E&O policy worth at least $300,000. How much will that be a month?""
I was driving my firends car and had an accident. Whos insurance covers the wreck? My friends or me?
I was driving my friends car and wrecked it. My insurance says that insurance covers the vehicle not the driver. Is this the opinion of all insurance companies?
HELP! Insurance company trying to low ball estimate?
Back in April I was driving and a lady tried switching lanes and struck my vehicle. I immediately went to an auto body shop and got an estimate for the damage, they took photos and everything. I've been contacting her insurance and dealing with this for over two months... I had to send them the police report because the woman tried lying and said I hit her, so I had to prove she was at fault. They would never return my calls. Until I talked to the field adjuster. He then called me yesterday told me he got the estimate from the body shop which was one of their recommended shops, and was mailing me the check for the damage. However he failed to tell me the check he was sending was for $1000 less than the estimate. I don't agree with this, what do I do? I called and no one will call me back from the company Also, I own my car outright. It's a 2004 tiburon is excellent condition. The insurance company was giving me issues about me wanting the check sent to me. I plan on getting the damages repaired that are necessary but leaving what isn't and keeping the money that's left over. I'm not even making them get me a rental for the time I don't have the car! Please help The company is American family.""
First year car insurance for 17 year olds for a small car?
Has anyone recently passed there driving test and brought car insurance? If so how much did it cost and for what car? I don't want answers just saying thousands , I would like people who've recently got car insurance.""
What does 25 /50/25/ mean in auto insurance?
What does 25 /50/25/ mean in auto insurance?
Im 16 and trying to get my license but my parents won't let me because of insurance costs
anyone have any ideas?? btw im not allowed to work
What kind of car insurance can i obtain?
I am 20 years old and i live in California. I have a driver's license but no car. I have heard that there is a type of insurance policy that can cover any car that I drive that is not of my own. Does anyone know which policy that is and from which agency is it from. Also if its an expensive one.
Where can i find good and cheap used car dealer insurance?
i am trying to open a used car lot and need insurance for it. where can i find cheap insurance i have looked and got a quote at one place but the price is to high 6500.00 per year, are there any other companies that will offer that but for cheaper? thanks""
Looking for a site for Affordable Individual Health Insurance?
Hello, I'm looking for affordable individual health insurance online web company.Can you suggest me where can I find cheap and good site for my insurance?I'll be very thankful.""
Where to get auto insurance after license suspension?
when license is reinstated where do I get auto insurance. Lost license due to breathalyzer refusal.
What is the cheapest van insurance for a 18 year old with no previous insurance with a full lience?
What is the cheapest van insurance for a 18 year old with no previous insurance with a full lience?
I have just passed my test and i have been looking for car insurances and i added my partner as a named driver?
I have been looking at car insurances and i added my partner as a named driver and she only have a provisional license and it has come out 600 pound cheaper, every thing is correct on the quote, does anyone know why this is.""
""Does age make a difference when getting health insurance thru employer, is the cost different. .?""
My mother is in her 60's she declined coverage thru her employer because she would pay $200 per pay check, gets paid biweekly. She said the rep from the insurance told her she would pay more than her younger coworkers because she is old and needs more health attention, visits medicine etc. Is that true?? Her company does the cleaning for a few hospitals, offices. I dont think its a big company maybe 300-500 employees. I work for a big company in sales we have 200 people in our building, the company is in every state in the u.s. with several offices in each state so we are thousands of people for the company. Our health insurance cost is the same regardless of age. We have 3 plans to choose from, but we all pay the same amount regardless of age and it cost anywhere from $15-25 per check. Could anyone give me some info on this matter thanks. We are in california if that matters. Thanks.""
How can I buy life insurance policy on people?
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My sister has been driving my mother's car (Loan, registration, insurance in my mother's name) Occasionally she allows her boyfriend to drive the car, although my mother has stated on numerous occasions that she does not want him driving that car. He was in an accident on Friday and claims the car is totaled. He claims that he called the police and filed a report, it can be picked up on Tuesday. He also claims that his insurance is covering the accident. My problem is, the car is insured in my mother's name, so he is not allowed to do this, correct? Also, even though my mother was not involved in the accident, can she still call the police and get a copy of the report? After all, the car is in her name. Please enlighten me, I'm trying to figure this all out.""
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theblondestories · 6 years
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Nov. 19th, 2017
So how should I begin this? Brace yourself, this is about to be kinda long!
I decided to start this page because I needed to vent about my life issues. Yes you might ask “does this person have friends” or “has this person looked into a therapist”, I have...at my university for one, but its $5 for a “brief” session and I need much more than brief for my baggage and two a real therapist is $50+, which a broke college student like me cannot afford as some of you know. And yes, I do have friends but the things I am caring on my back, no one would understand. Some of them know about it, but rarely ask me how I hold up or some don't bring it up at all.
I may be 22, but I currently don't work & honestly I haven't been looking for a job since I got fired in August. I used to hate my job & as I was finally opening up to it, i went out of town for month during the summer to visit family out of the country & when I got back I contacted my boss ready to get back at it (he knew Id be gone & said it was completely fine, ass) he hits me with the:
“How was your trip? Oh so we’ve decided to let you go.”
?? SO WHY DID YOU ASK ME HOW MY TRIP WAS?!
Anyway, since then Ive just had a lot go on regardless and wouldn't have been able to maintain a job for these past few months. 
This gets a little emotional now because i’ll get into my problems. My mom has been sick with cancer for 2 years now and it was just a shock to my family. No one on her side has ever been sick & it just came out of no where. My mom has been a healthy person for most of her life. It was actually October 2 years ago when the whole thing started, it was a really hard time for me as I’m sure to anyone who just found out this information. I would never have imagined this happening to our family. After getting surgery and doing treatment for 6 months she was “cured” but 6 months later it had returned. They tried out a different chemo and it worked for a while but not completely. It was a tough time for my family and I was terrified. I never shared any of this with my friends, I didn't want anyone to pity me or ask me questions that I couldn't handle.
My mom was hurting too because her whole family lived across the world and for years she wanted to move back there and be with them. My dad was struggling financially and was overwhelmed with taking care of my mom for two years here alone. His side of the family never cared for us and never helped out. My grandfather (dads dad) passed away from cancer so you'd think they'd be more understanding and lend a hand, but they're selfish people. It disappointed my dad so much he doesn't speak to them now. 
Anyway, because so much was going on my dad decided to send my mom to live with her family out of the country. His plan was to travel back and forth to work in the states and go be with her for a while and just keep that process going. It initially was suppose to be our whole family move out there, which I wasn't ready for at all. Im in my fourth year of school and i haven't finished or am close to, my whole life is here, I wasn't sure how one was suppose to just get up and throw all that way to move half way across the world. I probably sound so selfish too, yes its my mom and she needed me but trust me if you were in my shows you wouldn't know what to do either. My mom knew it hurt me and agreed to let me finish school here, but I spent the whole summer there with her along with my 2 brothers. 
Me and my youngest brother, Ryan, are close. He's 15 and one of the greatest kids you'll ever meet. Me and the 18 year old, Spencer, clash a lot. If I could punch him in the throat, I would. Ryan ended up staying to live there with my mom. Spencer was suppose to, but it was his senior year of high school and my parents agreed on letter him finish. 
I came back in August, right before classes started up, I really just couldn't catch a break because then in the beginning of September we lost our house due to a hurricane. Completely flooded as to where we had to swim out. Everything was ruined along with our cars. Ever since, my dad and Spencer have been living through hotels. Mid September things got rough again with my mom. She had to get another surgery and there was just a lot going on. I dropped all my classes and flew out there to be with her till mid October. Im glad I went because she needed me, but it legit fucked up everything for me here with school. Dropping out of my classes caused me to not be enrolled in the university so they were going to kick me out of my housing, which I desperately needed now because we didn't even have a house. 
Let me tell y'all this, NO BODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. NO ONE WANTS TO HELP YOU. Its the worst. I literally felt like someone was physically pushing me on the floor and holding back down not to get up. 
I ended up having to enroll in a class that I didn't even need just to keep my housing when i returned. My tuition is currently at $5,000 and I have no way to pay it.
I know Im bitching a whole lot, but today has just been a rough day. My dad called me a few hours ago telling me my mom wasn't doing well again and that I need to go back and stay for a few months because she wants me there. Mind you not he hasn't seen her since she left back in June because hes still not in good standing financially (especially after the hurricane) and he has the audacity to make me feel guilty that Im not there. When I was there in September she’d continuously ask me when she thinks he's going to come, but i never had an answer. 
The thing is when I talk to my mom on the phone everyday as I did today, she rarely tells me how she's actually feeling, but I can just tell by her voice. Yesterday I knew she wasn't feeling well because she told me, but today she said she was better, I could also hear it in her voice. My dad stated otherwise so I called her again asking her if she wasn't telling me things, which she denied to. Come to find out my dad has been telling her all these things about me on how he's concerned because he doesn't know who I'm spending my time with, or going out with or that I don't work & just spend money on going out to eat with friends and it would be best if I just moved out there too.
Me and my dad have always been close and I'm basically a “dads girl”, he never really denies me and doesn't say things to my face so I end up hearing about them from my mom, which honestly offends the shit out of me. It offended me because I know my dad well and he basically threw me under the bus to avoid a conversation with my mom about when he's showing up and that I'm a “hand full” so he's dealing with everything and stressed out. Which he is, but then everything gets thrown at me. 
So now I'm dealing with the fact that my mom thinks its best for me to move out of the country and be with her side of her family because they're the only family I got and they love and care about it. She says I can finish school there and just start a new life. I wouldn't say my life here in the states is that great, but when I go out there I feel like a nobody. 
Im really not a selfish person because I love my mom so much and I wish this was happening to me instead of her. I’m so scared for the future, but I don't see my future being there and no one seems to understand that. We’ve never grown up with my dads side of the family so I don't feel like I’m missing out on being a family with my moms side. Growing up maybe I did wish for that, that her family was here & we could have holidays and celebrations with them, but I grew out of it, I don't care for it. Ive become used to seeing them almost every summer for a month or two and then going back to my life. I wish it was as important to me as it is to my mom and I wish I wanted what she wanted. 
All my life I’ve dealt with depression, Ive never been happy & didn't think i could get anymore unhappy, until these past few months. I don't feel like my life isn't mine. I feel confused and lost. My heart hurts in so many aspects. I feel completely lonely inside and its the worst.
until next time -- 
xox D
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i thought to myself, “i dont want to be in love with someone who doesn’t want a future.”
and maybe some years ago i wouldve taken this thought as an action - i might’ve tried to create a rift in the relationship or seek things out to confirm suspicions (which has already been close to happening anyways) so i would have a reason to not be in love with them - so i could make them the enemy; a person doing something “bad”. 
but i guess i’m old enough now to understand this statement. it’s not an action; it’s a thought and it can be taken point blank. i dont _want_ to be in love with someone. because that’s painful and useless and so, so sad. 
he said, “we’ve been hanging out a lot. maybe we can hang out tomorrow.” 
i’ve gotten this before. and it’s a bit ironic, i knew i wouldn’t really see him today because we had an event to go to. and i was okay with that - i guess romanticizing this glamorous idea that we’re somebodies - we’re “something” going out and we kiss and go home. 
but i really dislike having no control over things at all. and it’s not that i want to “control” anybody or anything - i just feel like his availability to me is very circumstantial and is one of the worst processes in the relationship. it continually adds to my anxiety and maybe even my insecurities. 
i know i have issues with perceived abandonment. which is completely and totally fair to my life situation - i no longer see it as a true flaw to my being but as a statement of my life. why wouldnt i? a person would develop such feelings over time if they had my experiences as well. is it an issue? issues can be fixed. so is it an anxiety or an insecurity? maybe it’s just both. 
i want to be able to be like hey, i’m coming over, see you soon. just one time be able to do that. and after nine months and developing the relationship we have, i feel like i should be able to. but anytime i’ve tried, i’ve been deterred. why cant it be like, i’ll see you tomorrow at 6? or around 8? like it always feels like when we say goodbye, there’s a possibility i wont see him again. not like hes going to die, but that he could just get up and walk away. just wake up tomorrow and decide this isn’t what he wants. does my presence even make a difference in that kind of decision? probably not - but i have this fear because he speaks openly about everything, including his desire to move away and take trips and just generally not care that i’m someone who he’s developed a close relationship with. 
not that i’m saying he should _not_ do these things either. he should; but the way he speaks about them it just sounds like he could become a new person in a new life tomorrow. and maybe he could. i also don’t believe he doesn’t actually care at all about me. but his caring increasingly feels obvious at arm’s length and frequently one sided towards him. 
it could be worth talking about. which is so scary and real because i’ve never really ever in my life put myself out there like that. i’ve done desperate and dumb things, but they were more in jest that turned out embarassing later because it was just like.. not the right time or place or frame of mind. but he also doesnt like talking about relationship things. it’s easier for him to think this isn’t a relationship that requires talking about in such ways. but we’ve talked about things before - we’re so close because of our ability to communicate with each other and neither of us has ever gotten along with someone on these level. 
but to bring up the fact that i have this ever lingering feeling of something not being right within myself - i dont know. like i believe he can live his life. just do whatever the fuck he wants to do. and in return i also have that same freedom and that’s great. we live individual lives and get to be individual people and it’s kind of new to both of us because we’ve siphoned our identities alot from our partners at the time. so to get to truly be ourselves in the most pure ways is great. 
truly though, i just want to be with someone. i dont want to sit alone in an apartment. its literally my least favourite thing and i do it _all the fucking time_. i could solve these problems by going out but at the en of the day you still return to sit in an empty apartment. 
it sounds kind of basic though doesnt it? maybe kind of whiny - “i just want to be with someone”. i’m not alone now. i guess? maybe this truly is not highschool anymore. maybe it’s not about “having” someone. i dont need to have this “boyfriend” in my life. this person i see on a semi regular basis to hang out and have sex with. i need to build a family. like - i did it professionally. and i’ve grown through it as well and like i’m not saying i want to have children (at all) tomorrow or get married but i want to be apart of someones life. i want to see the people they care about. i hope to have the ability to care about them too. i want to make decisions together and bare the weight of those decisions together. i want to feel a responsibility to their well being and feel the necessity in creating an easement to achieve whatever it is they want to do or be. i want to feel a stronger obligation to be better to myself to be able to fulfill my own goals and contribute to theirs more positively. 
in my romantic world - we’d move in together next week and create this fantastic little life and i’d just be better in some way. i don’t know. but in reality my anxiety about wanting to be able to say ‘see you tomorrow around 6′ just one time translate to a bigger issue of wanting to be able ot say, hey in 6 months do you thik we could think about living together? do you think we could start building _something_ instead of just spinning our wheels? 
which i know is something he already is dealing with in his personality to begin with - he’s spinning his tires completely and i’m in the back seat smoking weed and eating cookies, occassionally getting out to stretch my legs or being forced to walk to get gas. 
he’s said we’re walking our individual paths and if those paths happen to cross, then great - if not, it’s okay. he did this skit that i’ve been thinking about a lot. and maybe he didn’t think about it when he wrote it, or maybe it’s about something else compltely but one quote always comes to mind, “she guided us here. she knew the way.” maybe in some subconcious connection it’s like i took him down this path. maybe i’m forcing him down it - or maybe he feels like i am. 
he told me he loved me, that he was in love with me, within two months of us being together. which he himself knew was weird and maybe inappropriate to say. is it wrong now to ask at nine months what we’re doing? 
it’s not really about seeing him tomorrow. or the day after. or next week. it’s about how long in the future will i see him and to what proximity can we work towards that being. i want to try and see a future. maybe thats a positive thing even. maybe thats why its pressing on me as much as it has been. i want to see a future. i want to see what will happen in six months. i want to be here in six months; not “here” but like, existing on the planet. and i want to plan in some way for that. i’m feeling like change needs to happen. i’m also spinning my tires, if i’m being honest about myself.  i’ve been picking at smal things - cleaning out closets & organizing things that are meaningless, cutting my hair & just being hyper detail oriented because i want change. i’ve even come so far to accept giving up my cats. i’ll keep them for as long as possible but i think i’ll live if i have to do something about owning them. i’ve cleared out a lot of things i own because theyre not useful or old or broken and it’s left me with the necessities and a few other things. i feel like i could let go of more and live fine. i’d almost like to live in a room again. but maybe it’s just feeling the big emptiness of this apartment. 
within a thin veil of positivity though is still a deep depression. i do feel like its a daily battle to do even the bare minimum. i have a really long way to go and i know that and the support i’ve been given has been top notch. i couldnt really ask for better from someone who doesnt really have that much of a connection to me outside of the one weve recently built. hes been a truly amzing human being. he has really not asked for anything in return either, but i dont think ive given him a reason to. 
i managed to help organize a show & make a book cover for a published book this year amidst the worst depression and health issues of my life because i’m still trying. i’m still fucking here. i truly did not want to be and i’m a little hesistant now but i’m still here. and i’ll be here tomorrow. i guess in some ways i feel like .. imagine what i could do with a little hope? beyond support now; what about hope? just something that could make me believe that what i want is in my future and if its not then let me move on. let me grieve and move on. i fear loss in my life and i think those who know me fear loss in my life for me as well - like it’ll have to be a life long bond now that we’re friends. and maybe sometimes i’d even like it to be, but i know friends come and go. 
on a personal level i feel like he’s kind of my best friend and someone whos one of a kind to my life not becuse he’s so unique but because hes so similar. he’s truly normalized alot for me and allowed me to feel like an actual human and not some demented version of one. i will honestly cherish knowing that. so i have no problem hanging out with him regularly. i truthfully see him about 4 hours a day, where he may also be playing video games for atleast half or more of those hours. which is fine, but i wish he’d recognize that despite me being there, its nothing really special. 
i know he loves me. and i guess hes so good in so many other ways that it’s even hard to point out these things because i dont even want to paint the picture that this is some lazy uncaring jerk. he works all the time and gives alot of his free time to me when he could be alone or with others. and i appreciate and respect that but i feel even after nine months i’m intruding. i want to feel comfortable. i want to know i have a place with him in his life. but right now i’m just.. there. just this little shadow that he sometimes has. 
professionally i know if i shake my haze and harness the lessons ive learned and shed my own perceptions, i’ll build to something worthy. maybe financially viable. i dont know if itll be stable, i dont know if itll be a lot but i know i can do something. ive truly created something people believe to have a competitive edge and ive realized that knowledge i have is beyond the general public. i can do something very real and very serious and i believe even the people around me know i have the power to do that but i’m fucked up just enough to linger in the background; always lingering in the background.
can i sell a hypothetical? can i use it as a standing point - that i “know” somewhere in the future, i’ll be something more than this. i’ll have success in something, somewhere. you just have to trust and believe in me. which is just an odd statement to make and a really shaky ground to stand on. 
i need to quietly refocus - regardless. and i say that hesistantly; “regardless” means nothing has changed or i’m just left with nothing on this end of the spectrum. i was already looking forward to doing work tomorrow and i want to / am trying to build the energy & desire to really go through with a fine tooth to step it up that much more. but this has a cloud over it as well. i could wake up and decide its all not worth it because theres no hope. i cannot fully achieve what i want to be and do alone.i am prepared to always trade myself and my variety of skills for non-monetary gains in my life to live with the success that i want. 
my father told me that in order to succeed in school, you had to play their game. and thats applicable to much of life - life is a long drawn out very complicated with questionable rules game. maybe with some pieces missing as well. and if you figure out a way to play the game, you’ll survive. you might win, but most will just make it to the end. some get taken out too. some just dont figure out how to play the game. have i? i dont know. but i’m putting faith in my method because i entered the game slightly too late and dont have time or resources to catch up. i guess unfortunately part of the plan is convincing someone else to invest their time and resources into my plan. 
am i talking about business or romance now? i cant even remember.
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