#ive been having a rough couple days mentally so ive been taking a step back for a second but! i’m back ✨🤧 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carpsurprise · 3 years

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sorry for my absence but... i bring pirate!sam.... this is also posted on ao3, if you’d rather read there..... but yes this is gender neutral “farmer”.. not beta read bc ive been losing sleep over this... under a read more because it’s long as hell. and thank you to the discord for fueling me many late nights to write this!!

the teasing nature of the ocean, and those in tune with it:

word count: 7.8k

summary: after wishing to become one with the sea for as long as the mind had allowed it, the newest shipmate had taken longer than usual to become accustomed to the physical ailments of being at sea, soon learning that their mental state would become the worst affected. the only pirate that had given them any mind was sam, an immature yet charming pirate in the higher ranks. his closeness to them unfolds as his attempt for some type of distraction from his own loss of self at sea.

warnings: allusions to s//cide, drowning, and not beta read.

PART I, INTRODUCTION

It was only supposed to take a couple days to stop their seasickness, hearing from the few ship mates they had encountered in their bedridden, infant days onboard that the body would become acclimated in no time. Never underestimate the human body’s quickness to adapt! the captain cried out soon after allowing them their rest time before their expected labor. This was an amazing opportunity no one could pass up, no one like the newest recruit, who had dreamed of days at sea since childhood, and longed for the nights of open starscape and the wail of the wind at full speed.

Yet, even with this wonderful expectation, they lay bedridden in their hammock, deep below the wooden deck that creaked with each step. The ship would groan with each bob in the water, the sounds of horrible screeches that came from deep within the ship furthered their nausea. Even if they had a few moments of solace between sick spells, anything would be better than the quiet squeals of the wood beneath the water. Despite that notion, that repeated itself in their mind, the back of their head had allowed no movement. Their head would turn to vomit every so often, scrambling out of their bunk and to the wood pail beneath them. The only company to be had before nightfall was a woman with strange, blue hair, decorated with gold jewelry and piercings—and a bird that sat on her shoulder, he seemed to have an injured wing, but in their sickness it was hard to tell— who would bring a wet cloth to dab on their head every so often.

In their loneliness their acceptance aboard rang through their head alongside their migraine. Excited jitters fizzled through their body as jolts of pain replaced them, making it known to the newest mariner: the sea was not one to mess with. Yet, even in sickness, this was the opportunity they had dreamed of. Perfect scenarios replaced thoughts of pain, the wondrous look of joy wrinkling the captain’s face as he had met his newest recruit etching itself deep into their mind.

“Welcome aboard!” He grinned, shaking their hand with a firm grip. The stumbled, losing their footing with the slight movement of the ship and the strength of his hands, the sheer roughness against their palm scratching at the skin. “Gonna need to toughen up if you want to make it out here at sea!”

With a nervous laugh, they responded with his honorific, keeping their eyes off of the few gold teeth that lined his mouth. The crew had already begun their preparations to set sail. Shipmates ran to their posts as maps made their way to the captain’s quarters to begin navigation. Snapping themselves out of their dreamlike trance, they ran to their assigned post, readying for departure before their sickness had hit.

Hit, it had. The joly of the ships movement had thrown them off their feet, the nausea of first-day-anxieties and the never ending cycle of waves flooded from their stomach up straight to the back of their head. The sea had claimed another victim within an instant, but showed its mercy for the first and last time to them. They had finally regained consciousness where they lie now, eyes trained on the flimsy roped hammock above them, a leg draped over the side as they clutched their stomach between gasps. After one last sleep, they decided they would start their duties on the ship. No matter the cost of their health, their goal of becoming one with the sea would be achieved.

A full night of rocking, being woken every so often by the shipmates’ chatter in the dead of night, and the lingering pit in their stomach had made the attempt at rest useless. But, by sheer willpower, they had managed their feet to land securely on the floor by dawn. Their grip on their hammock lingered for a moment, bracing themselves for sickness. At long last, their connection to the physical land would be forgotten for a life at sea, with its eternity of waves and comforting wind.

PART II, THE TEASING NATURE OF THE OCEAN, AND THOSE IN TUNE WITH IT:

Finally able to enjoy the asylum of the sea, the comforting kiss of its mist and the heat of the sun’s rays, they had finally made their way out onto the boat, far from the confinement of the ship. After three sickening days aboard, they could finally muster to keep their head up. Throwing themselves against the rails of the ship carefully, they gazed over the side of the ship with a frown. Their reflection was not there, not like in a river or lake. A puff of air had escaped them, uselessly searching for any ounce of their own face. Chatter had ensued behind them, pulling them from their questioning looks to a faceless being and back to the people of the ship.

They were docked at some seaside town, mates running on and off the ramp of the ship as the town’s commotion sparked up. A few pirates they had recognized, some that stayed in their rest quarters, others that had walked past their bunk in frenzied states. Almost no one had introduced themselves, a kind face far in between indifferent ones. It wasn’t too big of a matter to them, just a bit odd from their days on the coast back home. But, this wouldn’t break them, or their pursuit of one's truest connection to the sea. Walking with haste to the side of the ship, they braced themselves against the wood rails, carefully tipping themselves to see the movement of water the best they could. It had seemed so inviting; the playful lap of water seeming almost childish in a strange way, beckoning them forward to indulge in its coolness.

The talking behind them had taken them out of their thoughts, passers by noting that there were only ten minutes more until departure. Their heart beat with nervous excitement, feeling that if everything in their life were to fall into place, now would be it. Helping with mundane tasks around the ship, traveling far across the horizon, and exploration of new lands untouched by others for decades sounded like heaven, the crash of waves against the ship and harbor echoing as a sort of applause for their accomplishment. It should have been the perfect sign that the wind was picking up, and that they were due to set sail.

The ship jolted against the waves, the wind whipping their hair from them and tearing at the skin. Without the painful headache pooling at the back of their skull, the ride of the waves would have made them feel nearly weightless. Their legs shook from the motion, a familiar feeling of unease settling in their stomach. Sea air had always calmed them as a kid, but the sudden jolts of the boat left a sharp pain of unease within them.

“Gotta get your sea legs sometime, dear!”

The teasing remark had come from above, unfamiliar kind eyes paired with a teasing smile from inside the crow’s nest. He grabbed at the rope blowing by the nest, sliding down and switching hands every so often in a futile attempt to avoid discomfort. The ship’s shaking hadn’t stopped, yet he had no issue. His feet planted firmly on the wood deck. His confidence radiated off of him, well accompanied by his bright smile.

Their legs had still felt as if they were going to give out, whether it be from the choppy movement or the bold quirk of his eyebrow. He had a confident air to him, mindless flipping a gold coin off of his thumb every couple seconds. “So you’re the newcomer the captain allowed onto the ship, huh? Guess I won’t say anything, if he thinks it’s the right thing to do.”

With little clue what the man had meant, and wanting to avoid any conflict with a man that had a sword tucked to his side, they had decided to ignore his last comment. Despite his words, his tone was happy and unbothered, while his expression was distant, but content. The commotion to their side had signaled that the anchors had been raised, and that they were due to set sail soon. He returned his attention to the newest shipmate in front of him, asking their name with visible interest.

Humming, he flipped his coin once more before putting it back into a bag tied to his belt. “Sam,” he introduced, “your fellow shipmate— one of the higher ranking ones, mind you.” He bowed with his words, clearly proud of his title. He readjusted the chains across his chest, flipping them inside and out before pulling his hand away. “Y’know I used to be just a cabin boy when I was younger, but my past captain told me I deserved better.”

“Oh,” they responded, “interested in becoming a captain of your own ship?”

“Not in a million years! He has no fun! He’s one of the better captains I’ve been with, but even then, I’d never do something so serious. I don’t want the fun sucked out of me. It’s so easy to lose every bit of yourself out here.”

“It couldn’t be that bad.”

He laughed, “Ya haven’t spent more than fifteen minutes on the main deck, dear, just wait it out. I hope you don’t end up like the others, it’d be a shame.”

For the second time in their short interaction, the newcomer was at a loss for words at his cryptic nature. At the sound of a battle cry-like sound, Sam had turned himself around, pulling on the ropes of the mast to raise the ship’s flag high atop the mast. Soon enough, their departure had started, signaling the truest start of their adventure. Talk had ensued behind them, catching the tail end of a conversation about the next two weeks at sea. Perhaps, with good luck, their sea legs would come with the waves and the moon’s cycle.

Mumbling to themselves, they returned to their post, eager to rid themselves of their headache. Their sea legs would come with time, they had hoped, but thinking that the best plan of action was to fulfill their duties, they had involved themselves in the art of a pirate’s life the best they could. A week of smooth sailing had passed, their body sore from its arduous work on deck. A few shipmates had become at the very least, acquaintances. Not many had opened up or given the newest addition the time of day— all but one pirate, who had seemed almost too elated by their presence.

There was a slight pressure at the top of their head, before the unwelcoming feeling of rope had begun against the body. The frayed cord had permeated through their clothes, sticking into the skin like thorns. Their head turned quickly, a muffled giggle giving away the culprit almost immediately. Sam stood, his knees bent and hands still gripping the edges of the fishnet, with a devilish grin decorating his face. Between the diamond shaped holes of the net, despite their vision somewhat covered, his rosy cheeks were still evident even from their distance.

His playful look persisted as he dropped the net dramatically, hopping down from his placement on the ship’s wooden cargo boxes. “Whoops, sorry, darling! Must’ve mistaken you for a mermaid. Thought I finally got my hands on one.”

With an exasperated huff, they grabbed the edge of the fishing net, pulling it back over their head and throwing it to their side. “Don’t you have anything else to do?”

Sam positioned himself near the stacks of cargo boxes, resting his chin lazily on his hand as he looked in all directions. The newest pirate mirrored his actions, met with nothing but blue, cloudless skies and a color matching ocean. With no land in sight, their eyes returned to Sam’s— interested and ready to respond, as always.

“Not really,” he replied slowly, looking around once again in an almost mocking manner. “Not much to do at sea, you should know that by now! I know it’s only been a little bit, but come on.”

After his reply, the ship shook, jolting itself after a clunking sound of metal echoed over the ocean. They had been thrown off their own footing once more, eliciting a loud laugh from Sam. His gaze was steady on the unsteady frame of his newest crewmate, still lazily perched against one of the many looted crates. He twirled his finger along the lining of metals up his ear, playing with the hanging chains as he allowed them to regain their composure before speaking again.

He nodded to them, then motioned lazily up to the open sky. “Just wait ‘til we hit a storm, darling. If you can’t stand on your own two feet now, just wait ‘til then,” he laughed, keeping an amused smirk stretched across his face. With a roll of their eyes they walked away, retreating back to the lower decks of the ship in pursuit of their blue-haired friend, and their friendly, injured parrot that gossiped with them.

PART III, THE STORM THAT FOLLOWED AFTER LANDING ON THE BEACH:

A quick side mission was at hand, a small island abandoned by its inhabitants and rumored to have treasure had made an attractive stop. The ship had anchored far from shore, splitting the ship’s crew into designated teams to make a quick, but successful mission before returning to sea for weeks. The captain had assigned them the simple task to forage for anything edible, afraid of running too low on rations in their extended time. They saluted him, thanking him for the opportunity before heading off.

The trip to the island had been painful, the soreness of their arms from days of pulling and heavy lifting had led the rowing to be searing up their biceps. In little time they had hit sandbars, jolting with the bottom of the dinghy as it collided with sporadic mounds of shells and sand. The leader of this mission, a young woman with purple hair tied up with a bow, cried out from their collisions, commanding that it was time to bring the boat up by hand. Readying themselves, the group tightened their belts and prepared to jump overboard.

“Ah, you do know how to swim, right?” Sam teased, shooting a boyish grin their way.

“Of course I know how to swim!” They cried back, jumping off the dinghy and into the water. The group had trudged through the knee deep water, cringing at the cold water filling their boots and wetting their clothes. Sam had laughed, pulling the boat up to the sand with him and a few fellow pirates, running up to meet the new pirate once they had secured it to the shore.

“You’d be surprised,” he added, moving his head to look down at their face. They shook their head in response, focused on the group of trees and brush settled on the island. The rest of the group had dispersed along the beach with maps in hand, talking amongst themselves before splitting up. It had gone unspoken that Sam had ended up paired with them, slightly irritating, but nothing the newest recruit couldn’t handle.

His smirk had made one of their eyes twitch, the cocky look in his eye making them bite back an annoyed sigh as he unsheathed his sword. He slashed away at the brush with a few grunts, standing back to admire his skill. His shipmate rolled their eyes at his proud smile, his demeanor annoying, but still upsettingly charming. The rest of the crew had branched off to find the rumored island treasure, while they were stuck foraging for anything edible. Their next stop, some foreign land across the Gem Sea, could take weeks or months, leaving the captain desperate to stock up.

Sam opened his mouth yet again, the newest pirate immediately tuning him out to focus their eyes on the ground. Few sights of berries, herbs, and dandelions covered in rough patches. Just as they had raised their head to tell their partner they gasped, craning their neck to follow Sam’s lithe body. He had, miraculously, climbed himself up a tree in no time and with little sound, already pawing at the hanging fruits. His reckless nature, the instability of his legs wrapped around the trunk and his shifting imbalance as he reached for fruits made them cry out in fear.

He looked down at them, calm as can be before shooting them a teasing wink. “Can’t be that worried about me, can you, dear?”

“Well,” they stuttered, eyes still glued to the shakiness of the tree from his weight. “It’d be a shame if you splattered on the ground.”

Shaking his head, he shimmied himself up further, the top of the trunk beginning to bend with his weight as he tossed down a few fruits to his partner. “Nah, I’m not afraid of this. There’s solid ground to land on, what more could ya ask for?”

They scrunched their eyebrows, looking up to him as if there were a more obvious choice. “Water?” They questioned, watching him shake his head once again with both hands grasped onto the rough bark of the tree.

Plucking the fruit from the top of the tree, Sam turned himself back down to throw it at his partner, watching them struggle to keep all of them in their hands. “No, no, no! I’d rather break my back than lose everything. There’s one thing I am afraid of, and it’s the ocean.”

“That makes no sense, Sam—” They interrupted themself, watching as he stood to full attention the best he could, his eyes obviously caught on something from his tree top view. Fearing it was another group of pirates, a dangerous animal, or anything else that could prove almost immediate death, they gripped the fruits closer to the chest, already repositioning them in preparation to flee. They couldn’t hear the stumped hum from Sam’s lips over the sound of the rustling leaves, but watched as he flawlessly dismounted from the tree tops with a grunt, his head still turned west.

Motioning them to follow behind him, Sam led the way deeper into the jungle, slashing away with his sword to clear the way for himself and his partner. He was mumbling on his way, a concentrated decoration of face covering his usual boyish and playful expressions. Without further words, the newcomer followed Sam’s trail, trusting his judgement and following at his heels. He did a wonderful job of clearing their walkway, looking back every few moments to make sure there were no branches in his partner’s face and warning of any roots or dips in the ground. In only a couple minutes the two had reached a clearing of sand, an odd formation of rocks and foreign symbols slashed into the surrounding trees.

“Holy shit!” He cried, dropping his sword and dropping to his knees around the clearing, immediately digging through the sand. “There has to be something in here.”

“But,” the newest pirate interjected, still messily holding their foraged goods in their arms, “the map said it would be on the east side of the island.” Carefully shifting their fruit, they pulled their compass out of their pocket just far enough to see the point of the arrow. “We’re in the west.”

He shrugged, an excited look overcoming his face. “Maps aren’t always right! We would’ve never found this if I wasn’t up in the trees, the rest of the party is still south!” He sounded giddy, but the newest issue of lugging around a treasure chest, just the two of them, and also carrying their forages at the same time gave a slight pang of aggravation to the newest pirate. Sam had instructed them to put the fruit down and help him, causing them to groan and drop to his opposite. They had dug with him, using their weapons in between bruising their hands.

He sighed as they dug. “Man, wish there was a way to tell the rest of the group the treasure’s here so we could get some help.”

“I can go run back and try to find them if you’d like,” they offered, already feeling their hands sore.

“Hell no! You’re gonna get lost, and I’m not leavin’ ya here either. Something’s gonna come and hurt ya, I gotta be here to protect ya.” He struggled out, focusing all of his strength onto the hands full of sand and dirt he pulled from the earth. They groaned inwardly, silently continuing at half his force, but still doing a demanding worth otherwise. There was little indication that much time had passed, the sun still stood high above them and shone with unbearable heat, adding the stickiness of humidity to the ocean breeze.

After a couple feet of sand thrown to the sides of the jungle, daylight had finally shone a glimmer of gold lining, attached to some wood corners submerged beneath the earth. Both had cried out in happiness, knowing that their efforts had not been for naught, and giving new drive to dig out the buried treasure. Once it had been taken out of the dirt, after extraneous work and gasps for strangled air, they both stood in the hole, suspending their bodies against the edge of the sand for support. They turned to each other, proud smiles upon their faces before Sam turned and broke the lock of the chest.

They let out a small gasp at his action, leading him to turn back and give them a lopsided grin. “Don’t worry ‘bout it,” he huffed, “throw the lock back in this hole, the captain won’t know it was ever locked.” Their chest still rose and fell in time with his, panting from the heat and physical work as he cracked open the chest. Both of their eyes widened at the assortments of beautiful jewels and gold coins, jewelry and rolled papers all assorted messily with traces of sand caked on them. One piece had got their eye, unknowingly bringing their shaking hand up to it before holding it between their fingers.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” they whispered in awe. Sam poked his head closer to them, eyeing up the pendant with them with a grin. The amulet held some weight to it, its bold cerulean color would knowingly attract attention from anyone who would find themselves near it. The turret shell was attached to a thin, gold chain, hanging at the bottom at gravity’s mercy. It was an odd pendant, but the beautiful blue of the shell mirrored that of the ocean in sunlight. Sam looked at the newcomer, without them knowing, grinning at their awed expression. “It’s so special,” they commented, “I mean, look at the rest of this jewelry, clearly belonging to royals or aristocrats… and it all looks the same. This is so different from the rest, looks like it came from the ocean itself.”

The wonderful aquamarine coloring mirrored the water of the island’s shore, just before hitting deep water. They had snapped themselves out of their fantasy, setting it back into the chest and closing it. “Let’s get this back to the group,” they said, placing their hands flat on their thighs before standing up. Sam followed, already beginning to drag the chest towards the direction they came. Turning their back from Sam for just a moment, they wrapped their foraged fruits and berries in a fishing net, turning back around to see Sam with a suspiciously innocent smile.

Deciding not to comment on what was likely another childish jest, they set the bag atop the chest and heaved the chest back to the beach. The treetops challenged their eyesight of the sky, but the island’s shift from bright to a darkening gray had given them all the information they needed. Sam walked backwards, as he said a gentleman like himself should, crying out in glee once they had finally hit where their dinghy was anchored, the group already together upon their arrival. They had interrupted their cries of lament while waiting for the two with an impending storm, but quickly shut themselves up to run over upon seeing the chest lugged between the two.

Upon seeing the open sky, and the choppy waters that they would soon be met with, the newest pirate’s stomach dropped. Within no time that fear was pushed over by others, too infatuated with the treasure they had nearly left. It was wildly easier to lug the chest with four others helping. They couldn’t keep their eyes off of the far, black skies and the ocean’s matching color, the white of breaking waves proving as the only contrast that could be possible.

The sands of time were nearing their end to return to the ship, the waves becoming rough with wind against the dinghy. It was already at the ocean’s mercy, moving with the waves as spouts of water overflowed onto the boat. Each member of the captain’s crew assigned to this mission struggled past the crash of waves to the boat, slinking in legs heavy with the weight of water. The current dragged at their clothes as if it had claws of its own, begging for company beneath the heaving waves. Their experience dealing with the ocean in their life had only proved to help little, feeling their feet yanked by watery hands as they toppled over into the boat.

Even though they had clambered onto the boat in time, their heartbeat had still rung in the center of their head. Sam had noticed, along with the rest of the crew. A friendly smile crossed his face as he rubbed their back, reassuring them that the ocean’s storms will bring calmness to both the mind and body. They scrunched their nose at his words in disgust. How each storm would become a test of survival was sickening, thinking that the inhumanness of its strength would only prove it’s danger to its inhabitants. Each war waged against would be futile. Yet, it had spared them once again.

The crew began rowing back, the newcomer pulling their own weight through the incessant bullets of pain down their arm, and the soreness of the back of their knees. They had felt a hole in their chest from their anxieties, working nearly the strength of two in desperation to return to the ship. Land was no longer an option, and they knew that all but one pirate would have no issue with abandoning them on the island. It was their hope, more than a fact, but the resolution had saddened them nonetheless. Though they had worked together in the moment, approaching the side of the ship to board once again, there was no true personable connection on the ship. The only connections the pirates had was between them and the sea, with little room for others in between.

Dark clouds dissipated into the air within hours, teasing the ship with danger before laughing in its face with smooth seas. The soft splashes of water against the hull of the ship sounded like gentle coos, as the wind blew giggles by their ears as it took the hair from their faces. The captain had stayed on high alert still, expressing his distrust of the sea with a firm click of his jaw. His rosy cheeks stayed the same, despite the hard expression of his furrowed brow in his standoff with the sea. He hobbled back to his quarters, cabin boys disappearing below deck as the captain’s crew followed his heels. Few had been left in the open air, cleaning or reorganizing looted crates from seaside towns.

“Oh, darling!” A voice had sung out, tapping the newest recruit on the shoulder before appearing on the opposite side of them. Sam had stepped in front of them, his back to the ship and his companion trapped just before the bowsprit’s beginning. They couldn’t dissect his expression, some odd combination of the slyness of a fox with the curiosity of a cat. “Or should I call you treasure?”

They rolled their eyes at his newest pet name, still asking him to call them by their given name with an exacerbated sigh. He mirrored the action of their eyes, joking about their mission removed from others and the time they spent foraging before coming across the wanted treasure chest. He had stepped closer to them, leading them to take a step back, their foot slipping off the edge of the bowsprit in anxious nature. Why Sam had cornered them to near death was beyond them, but no fellow pirate seemed to mind any bit of this unnerving interaction.

He cracked a smirk. “Got you this.”

They reached out their hand to his, letting him open and release the small item into their open palm. The small weight of a seashell had little pressure to their palm, but had their head raised with a questioning look in no time. His interested expression stayed, almost as if he were playing a joke. After asking why, he shrugged and mumbled, clearly amused by their confusion and, in turn, their own lack of amusement. Their expression had stayed, only faltering when Sam had turned himself around at the beckoning of another mate, where they quickly, but safely, shoved the seashell deep into their pocket to ensure it stayed. He turned back around with a distant smile. He brought his face close to the mariner’s, heat erupting over their cheeks and nose at his quick action.

“And I also grabbed something else for you!” He whispered, shuffling around his pockets before digging into the small cloth bag tied to his waist. Quietly crying out once he had felt it, he pulled his hand from his pouch, still concealing his gift. Expecting another seashell, or perhaps an already fired bullet at this point, his shipmate opened their hand once more.

This weight had been more than before. The texture had also been peculiar, but the slow movement of their head had proved to be more of the mind than the body upon seeing his gift. In their hand sat the gold and aquamarine pendant from the treasure chest, it’s cone shape fitting perfectly in between the lines of their hand. A quiet gasp had escaped on instinct just before clutching it to their chest and looking around nervously.

“Sam! You can’t steal from the chests yourself! The captain gets every bit of it!”

“Don’t you think I know that? I’ve been doin’ this longer than you— and you said you liked it. Besides, I don’t think anyone noticed it but us. It won’t be an issue, just keep it hidden,” he paused, throwing a look over his shoulder before returning back and winking, “It’ll be our secret, darling.”

Releasing their death-like grip on the pendant, they pulled their hand back to hold it between them and Sam’s chests, both admiring the beautiful blue shell of the pendant and the strange glow attached to it. Sam’s hushed giggles filled their senses, mingling with the intoxicating smell of sea air. A smile had crept onto the shipmate’s face at the beautiful piece of jewelry that was now in their possession, from a pirate with a heart the size of the ocean.

PART IV, A CONVERSATION UNDER SUNSET AND WITH THE CYCLE OF WAVES:

“You never seem to be anywhere else.”

Perhaps, it wasn’t the best greeting, but it was better than nothing. They kept their head held high as they spoke to him. Sunset had arrived the same time as always, akin to the never changing scape of water. The soft lull of the ship felt like a rocking crib fit for an infant, comforting for the mind, but hell on the body. That, paired with a fair breeze, had made the journey above the lower workings of the ship more bearable.

Sam shrugged, turning his attention back to the infinity of blue beneath the ship. “Can’t keep myself away from it.” A smile, genuine and kind, crossed his face, eyes flitting back and forth between his companion and the ocean. “It’s the ancient art of knowing the ocean as if it were yourself.”

Their eyebrows furrowed in thought, bating themselves with a breath. “How do you do it?”

“Good question— wish I could answer it for ya, dear. That might be a question more fit for the captain than me.”

With no verbal response from them, Sam returned his eyes back to the ocean, traveling the horizon in search of nothing. His attention directed elsewhere had allowed them to get a good look at his face, the scar over his left eye, and the bits of salt collected at the roots of his windswept hair. He must have caught them staring, a quick flicker of his eyes met theirs before he erupted into laughter, turning himself to them with the usual hint of mischief in them. The newcomer moved their eyes from his, feigning an aloof look that failed miserably in his face.

“How did you get that scar?”

He gave a short laugh, tilting his head to nearly touch their shoulder before popping back up. “I’m not the smartest,” he shrugged, resting his cheek on his palm and craning his neck to look at his newest interest at sea. Silence had ensued, leading him to point towards a real answer, rather than his usual avoidant dance around sore subjects. “Fishhook. I was a bit too close to my father when he was fishing. He was a soldier so I didn’t see him often, but anytime he was home he’d take me and my brother to the beach and fish.”

His face lit up for a moment. He straightened his back, moving his hands up to his chest where he pulled his already loose shirt further open exposing his chest and abdomen. Finding themselves flustered, the shipmate turned their head quickly, in both an attempt to hide themselves and to give Sam an ounce of respect. His laugh rang through their ears, syncing for just a moment with their quickened heartbeat.

“You can look, you can look,” he reassured, beginning once they had turned to his bare chest and abdomen, gasping at the scar gashed across him. It was akin to someone messily attempting to gut a fish, the scar still slightly raised over the skin, giving them a good idea of how long he had been cursed with it. “Got this in a fight in a saloon in some valley! Lots of drinkers there, might've gotten a bit too childish with one of them.”

Despite the scars he had shown them, his face was still happy. He hummed to himself, clearly forcing a more pleasant conversation— or mood, for that matter— upon them. Each of his hums was melodic, a clear indication that he had some type of musical talent gifted to him. Yet, once again, his gaze had returned to the infinity on all sides of them, moving himself with the waves. They listened to him for a few more minutes. Their curiosity was gnawing at them, eating away at their skin with the gusts of wind.

“A musician as well?”

Sam laughed, lulling his head around before shrugging with a smug grin. “I would say so, but that might be up to opinion. But, of course, I love music. It’s one of the greatest gifts! The ocean makes its own music just like I do.” The pirate’s silence to his response had allowed him some thought time, mumbling an old shanty to himself in their comforting stillness. Rhythmic like the waves, Sam continued, tapping his fingers on the wooden side of the ship with his quiet song, shutting his eyes with deep breaths.

They pursed their lips in thought, turning to him in a moment of silence. “Never heard that one before. Though, I’ve only been at sea for a little bit, so maybe I’m not the one to talk about it.”

He shook his head. “Nah, ‘s alright— learned it on one of my old captain’s ships.”

They nodded, resting their heavy head into their hands, crouching to lean their elbows against the railing of the ship with a deep sigh. Sam noticed, opening one eye to peek at their hidden expression. His head cocked to the side as his hand slid down the rope. “What draws you out here? You’re too headstrong, and I’m afraid it’s going to get you killed.”

Their hand slammed against a wooden crate, garnering attention from the few pirates that lingered beside them. “I want— I want to become one with the sea. I’ve always wanted to travel, and the ocean is the best way for it. I’ve always wanted to see the stars, to be far from home, and to see new things. I want to know the ocean—”

“You don’t,” he interrupted, his expression blank. It was the closest to a serious expression they had seen out of him, but despite this obvious warning, they continued on.

They shook their head. “I do! You don’t understand, Sam. You always talk like you know everything, you’ve latched onto me to do nothing but aggravate me.”

Sam stayed silent, watching the slight shake of their body and the way they consistently had to reposition their feet in tune with the rocking of the ship. Despite his happy tune, the mood had remained somber. He hadn’t spoken again, clearly understanding his mate’s feelings and having, at least, the maturity to know not to continue the conversation in teasing. It nearly drove them deeper into anger, finally realizing that Sam did, in fact, have the capacity to know the sea as one would know family they so desperately chased after. They were left miserable at sea, far from the expectations of the heavens among the waves.

PART V, THE SEA WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME:

Stuck two months at sea, the newcomer had sat out under the stars, admiring the tempting call of the murky water beneath them. What was once dreamt of had now become dread; eating away at their psyche. The ocean had never offered their reflection, only a distorted pit of nothing in return. In fact, they hadn’t seen their reflection since on land, safe in the warmth of a home and in the comfort of people. People that were smiling and warm, unlike those on the ship, who had each lost their humanity and souls to the crashing of waves and the unknown of the masses. At the very least, the rocking of the ship on safe seas had begun to lull them to sleep each night, the only action of love the ocean would give.

A friendly voice had rang out from behind them. “Mm, still not used to being at sea?”

“No,” they answered, keeping their gaze level with the horizon. Ocean wind had whipped past them, taking their hair from their face and pulling the ropes and sails of the ship with each gust.

“Just something you gotta live with,” he shrugged, walking up beside them and placing his hands along the wood railing. “It’s not too bad once ya get used to it, promise.”

His smile had tried its best to reassure, but left them with nothing but dread. Their eyes had lost the horizon, meeting just below the two, where the water met the side of the ship. The rough movement had made their stomach sink to their feet. Nothing was certain out at sea; nothing sacred, and nothing safe. Sam sighed, matching their gaze at the black water beneath them.

“You’ll get used to it,” he repeated.

They finally raised their gaze up to him. “How long have you been at sea?”

He shrugged, pushing himself from the rail and turning to rest his back against it. “Maybe four years or so? I don’t really know. There’s not much that goes on most of the time, so I’ve just sorta tuned everything out.”

“How can you possibly live like this?” Shaking their head, they returned their gaze back to the sea, and the hypnotic movement of black waves crashing against the hull of the ship. Each movement of the waves splattered against the side of the ship, dissipating and falling back into the water which it had come from. The wind whipped the waves against the side of the ship, a loud smack each time it collided unnaturally with the old wood.

The ship wasn’t natural, was the conclusion they had come to. The wood of it came from far away lands, unimaginable to them, but had not come from the sea. People weren’t supposed to be at sea. Like the trees that had been sacrificed for the ship, everything at odds with the great ocean was not meant to be there. The few times they had seen fish in the sunlight water, or a pod of dolphins that rode by their side in the morning, it had become clear: they were the only ones who belonged.

Sam had noticed their dead stare into the water, knowing what epiphany was unfolding in their psyche. With a sigh he threw his head back, looking up at the moon and surrounding stars. “Don’t think too hard about it,” he sighed again, bringing his head back down to look at their worried expression. He’d seen it with his fellow shipmates, and he had seen it in himself. “It’s going to kill you if you don’t learn to live with it.”

“I refuse. How could anyone enjoy this? We sit and look at nothing for days, weeks, on end. Then, we finally get to our destination, then we’re back on the water for another unknown amount of time?”

He nodded slowly. Before speaking, he walked over to the bottom of the mast, twirling the rope between his fingers. “This isn’t for everyone. Just hop off the ship next time we land on a beach, start a new life, do whatever.”

His words had stung them, mentally cursing themselves for thinking that he had some ounce of care for them. Perhaps it was how everyone was able to live at sea, cut all connections and ties to those that are not the ocean. How childish of them to think otherwise, and that Sam would have been any different. He could not fare against the ocean, certainly no stronger than them in a power of wits or will. They would have to stoop down to his level, full acceptance of death at any moment and that there is no true control when it comes to the great ocean.

It would only be a matter of time before they found themselves overboard, gasping for breath in their last moments once the sea decides their time abroad is over. “But there is no true safety!” They cried, turning themselves back around to see Sam’s confused expression. “Even if, even if, even if I decided to leave— which, despite your words, I don’t believe you would enjoy— I will never be safe from the sea! An earthquake that would trigger a tsunami, a hurricane, anything! I would never be able to escape it’s hauntings.”

“Of course I wouldn’t enjoy you leaving the ship. It’s sad to see anyone go,” he shrugged, clearly ignoring their last musings, “you were the only person on board that hadn’t lost their soul yet, of course it was fun to mess around with you.”

Their mouth was left open at his words and flippant attitude. “You’re speaking in the past tense,” they spoke, tone almost matching that of a warning.

He shrugged again, lulling his head from it’s transfixed gaze over the night ocean to them. “Isn’t it obvious yet?”

“I refuse,” they repeated.

Their attitude was clearly a front of denial, knowing deep down they have already become the worst of what they had once been. The ocean had thrown them to their extremes— the true mirror of the ocean’s reflection. Sam sat, hand lazily tapping a rhythm on his thigh as he watched the newcomer unfold before him, as he had watched plenty of times before. He sighed, knowing the outcome of this would be to render themself soulless, and lose the light behind their eyes, or to simply jump overboard and let the ocean have it’s way. A win-win for the sea, as Sam knew, and the newcomer had learned, the ocean never loses a game.

That’s what it is, the newcomer thought, nothing but a game of life and death for its own enjoyment. Each member of the ship, each pirate, or mariner, or fisher, that decided to take their chance from gambling their own life would inevitably find themselves face to face with nothing of themselves. With one last hit to the crate, clattering the treasures inside of it, they raised their head again and turned to Sam fervently, grasping at his arms in desperation.

“I never thought I would lose my soul, Sam!” They cried out, finally allowing themselves to cry. His face softened, shrugging their grip off of one of his arms and pulling them close to his chest. “There’s nothing out here to look forward to,” they choked out, allowing their hands to grip at the woven fabric of his shirt. He stayed silent for a few minutes, thinking of different things to say to them; something that had never worked with the others that he held and consoled over the same thing.

He sighed again, struggling to speak. “You just have to accept it.”

They sniffed, pushing themselves from his chest to look up at him. “How are you not like this? Why is it me? I’ve dreamt of this since I’ve been able to dream, and now that I’m hearing, I’ve just become a shell of myself. How are you still alive?”

Thinking of his answer, he looked over the sea as if for any hint of what to say. No discernible answer, but he had admired how different the sea can look within a moment’s difference. “Couldn’t tell ya. I go with the flow of the water, but— as long as you stay on ship, I will always make sure you’re safe.”

The call to the bottom of the ocean was tempting. Sam’s hand had moved from their back to cup the back of their head against his chest. Even if they had decided to wait it out towards morning, Sam would always have to live in fear that at a moment’s notice, the tide would take them from the ship and pull them under in the ocean’s horrifying mixture of mercy and murder. This sort of connection was exactly what he had always spoken against, knowing that once the ocean is aware of something precious, it will be ripped from its safety and holiness. Against his better judgement, he kept them in his hold, resting his cheek against the crown of their head as he looked out over the dismal water, knowing from experience what was bound to happen to his dearest pirate.

#stardew valley #sam stardew valley #sam #pirate au #ask to tag please

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iamtheblondestblonde · 4 years

Text

Clear as Day

Part One?

AN: Here’s some friends with benefits with Vince that I came up with in between cases at work. Vince if you’re reading this I’m so sorry please stop right here but also hmu I swear I just wanna be friends. I don’t know much about being a pediatric nurse (financial law anyone?) but I did volunteer at a hospital for a while so I hope it’s not super far off. I have plans and some stuff written for a part two that could be the same length so let me know you want one but it could be complete like this. (First person narrative but again no names or descriptions for the mc)

Warnings: language, definitely (also English isn’t my first language so perhaps some mistakes) and smut, also definitely (yes you read that right I did it again)

Word Count: 13.3k

I loved my job. I really did. I found it rewarding to be able to make tiny faces light up but I was currently on my second day of 12 hour back to back shifts, with yesterday closer to 14 hours, and I just really wanted to spend the entire day in bed.

It wasn’t even 7 a.m. yet and the streets of Toronto were already bustling, everybody preparing for a busy day. The sound of the ice cubes sloshing around in my coffee had become a staple background noise for the walk from the employee parking lot to the front entrance of the hospital, it soothed me.

As soon as I stepped into the building I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face, despite being sleep-deprived and basically needing a break already. There was a new drawing pinned to the wall by the nurses’ station and if the image of my smiling face wasn’t a dead giveaway already, it was hard to miss my name written on top of it in big bold letters.

It had started out as a joke really, a half-hearted complaint about me not getting as many drawings as others because most of my patients didn’t stay long in the ICU. From that moment on Lucas, my only long-term patient right now and all-time favorite teenager, had made sure that there was always a new one waiting for me every week. He was really good at drawing as well and I had an entire stack of amazing portraits, landscapes and lots of other random things at my apartment that I cherished dearly.

“He wanted to give it to you himself but then we had to give him something and he asked me to put it up so you’d see it as soon as you got in.” I turned around to see Mariah standing behind me, her face showing the same look of fondness as mine. Most of the nurses were pretty convinced that he had a crush on me and while I had to face lots of playful jabs because of that, she never gave me shit about it. She was probably about to head out and I knew that she only stayed behind to tell me this so I made sure to thank her.

“Is he up yet?”

“Surprisingly not, although he should be soon. He’s had a rough night and he stayed up way too long to draw but I doubt that anything could ruin this day for him, two dreams coming true and all.”

As soon as her words registered with me I mentally facepalmed, I’d completely forgotten that we’d get a visitor in a couple of hours. Because of Lucas’ surgery he hadn’t talked about hockey all that much lately, so I’d kind of forgotten that today he would get to meet one of his idols. I was about to respond something when I spotted Sydney waving me over.

Sydney was in charge of all of the pediatric nurses during the day shift, meaning that I had approximately three seconds to make my way over before she’d get impatient because she was always so busy. I waved goodbye to Mariah and speed walked over to Sydney, curious to see as to what she needed of me. She never beat around the bush, always coming straight to the core of things so I didn’t expect the conversation to last long and today was no different. She probably held the world record for fastest talker.

“So you know we’re getting a visitor today which means that I need someone to run a tight ship for me. You’re young and perky and I asked around and people love you. I know you helped with some of the Leafs the last time so you should already be familiar with the protocol. This is a big hospital and I want all of the kids on the list to get a chance to talk to Mr Dunn and that won’t happen if he gets lost so I want you to stay with him at all times, got it? I’ll get one of the on-calls to take over for you during everything.”

I couldn’t even get a word in before her pager went off and she jogged off after practically thrusting a file into my hands, unable to respond anything as she said something over her shoulder about this being a gift. I stared after her with my mouth hanging wide open, not really comprehending what had just gone down yet.

Being ‘young and perky’ had apparently just managed to get me demoted from a RN to a babysitter for yet another over-confident celebrity which didn’t really feel like a gift at all.

Lucas had told me all about how great this Vince apparently was but I had seen my fair share of famous people walking around these halls with camera teams following them, it was kind of a part of working with sick kids. There were exceptions of course, some of them were really nice but those were usually the ones that didn’t visit the kids for some good PR. While I was glad that it would make Lucas happy it didn’t really impress me anymore.

Besides I hadn’t really paid attention to hockey ever before, although it was hard to escape the hype right now with me being a St. Louis native. Some of my friends had sent me pictures of the parade from about a month ago but I hadn’t really paid much attention because I’d been slammed with work, not recognizing any of the players either way.

The file Sydney had given me consisted of a schedule for the day and a list of the kids that wanted to meet Vince, which was surprisingly long for this being a hospital in Toronto and him playing for the Blues. Even with my limited, read non-existent, hockey knowledge I was pretty sure that the team wasn’t liked very much in the league but I blamed it on them winning. Sydney was right, we would have to make good time to get through everybody.

I couldn’t exactly spend forever going through the file because I had mostly new admissions assigned to me and that meant lots of charting and running tests. I did spend my break reading through everything and trying to come up with a plan while shoveling food to my mouth at record speed however. Even if I wasn’t exactly thrilled with this assignment there was absolutely no way I wouldn’t be prepared. I would leave this hospital with the best possible impression of me, all things be damned.

It was kind of hard to focus on what was written in front of me though when I had three other nurses standing close by and ranting about how hot Vince apparently was. Lucas had shown me his hockey card a few times but I didn’t really know what he looked like because I was usually busy putting in a new IV line at the time, something he’d come to hate so talking about hockey was the perfect distraction. I was tempted to google him but before I got the chance my pager went off, signaling that the incoming convoy was about to arrive.

Unable to stop myself I checked my reflection quickly in one of the mirrors on my way out of the restroom. Call me vain but I didn’t want to end up in any pictures or videos looking like a total slob, even if it was just in the background. I’d taken the time to shower this morning but I definitely would’ve added more than the layer of concealer if I’d known about this earlier. At least I’d gotten my brows done and my lash extensions refilled a couple of days ago. Deciding that it was too late to do anything else about it I walked towards the front entrance with the file in my hands, making sure one last time that I knew where to take this Vince first.

It wasn’t hard to spot him in the group that arrived, the big shiny trophy he was lugging around kind of a dead giveaway.

He was good-looking, I had to give him that. Not in the rugged handsome way however, it was more of a defined features and beautiful way. The kind of look that got you dubbed as a pretty boy during high school, the polo shirt he was spotting only reinforcing that image.

I couldn’t really imagine him playing ice hockey. He was fit of course, but he wasn’t as big and bulky as I’d thought and if I had to guess I’d peg him as a baseball or lacrosse player, perhaps soccer even. If all hockey players looked like him however, I might have to catch a game or two after all.

I walked over with my big work smile plastered on my face, hand outstretched and he set the cup down to shake it as I introduced myself first. I caught him looking me up and down quickly but I wasn’t really one to talk because I’d done the same exact thing just seconds earlier.

“Hi I’m Vince, nice to meet you. Love the scrubs by the way”, he responded with a dazzling smile, gesturing at my outfit. Compliments weren’t a bad start, especially since I was wearing one of my favorites with an adorable blue and pink dinosaurs print.

“Thanks, one of my friends paints them for me.” Not willing to dwell too long on awkward small talk I continued: “Do you want me to get like a wheelchair for the cup or are you gonna carry it the entire time?”

“I think I’d get a lot of shit for not carrying it so thanks but no thanks.”

I quickly introduced myself to the rest of the team before herding everyone towards the elevators because he had to be upstairs in a couple of minutes. The camera team was more intimidating than I’d thought and I tried my best to distract myself from it as I pointed out different things around the hospital, only hoping that I wasn’t rambling without making any sense.

I was pretty sure that Vince could tell that I was uncomfortable because he kept our conversation going the whole time, obviously trying to make me laugh. His own laugh was hard to ignore and by the time we walked into the room where a livestream would take place the smile on my face was real. At least he wasn’t just easy on the eyes but he seemed fairly entertaining so far as well.

I watched him do the stream with Owen, who I’d spent some time in post-op with after his surgery a couple of weeks ago, and then stood close by as he talked to the long line of patients and people who were able to come up here. Sometimes when he saw a special needs kid getting closer he’d turn to me to ask for advice and tips and even all that ruckus didn’t stop him from keeping up a normal conversation with me.

He’d pick up right where we left off whenever there was a small break in between people and I wasn’t only amazed at his multitasking, but also at how amazing he was with the kids. He made me show him how to hold a baby and I think I’ll never be able to forget the image of a cute little baby boy in the cup.

“I ate cereal out of there this morning”, he whispered conspiratorially to me after the mother was finally done thanking him and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Of course you did. I hope you put it in the sink afterwards at least.” He gave me a wounded look, as if me insinuating he was not a clean person was hurting his ego and I laughed even more. I couldn’t really tell if he was trying to flirt with me or if he was like this with everyone but the mixed signals he’d sent me all afternoon were starting to get confusing.

“You think so lowly of me, I thought you’d know better by now.” With anyone else the wink he sent me as he delivered his line would have probably been overkill but somehow it worked for him.

The fact was that I did know better by now, even if it had only been just under two hours. I probably hadn’t been this wrong about something since I absolutely botched a math test in tenth grade thinking I aced it and he had turned out to be nothing like I had imagined him to be. Perhaps the early morning sleep-deprived me lacked the sense of being able to assess character that I usually had.

When I told him that it was time to leave he looked at me with a puppy eyes, pleading with me to let him stay a little longer. Working in pediatrics I got this a lot but somehow it had a whole different effect on me coming from a 6 feet tall hockey player with lips that were practically made for pouting.

“But there’s still some people left that I haven’t gotten to.”

“There’s also some kids that couldn’t come up here because they are too sick waiting for you in the ICU and you won’t be able to see all of them in time if we don’t go over there now. There’s a tight schedule for a reason you know.”

“Fuck the schedule, I’ll just stay longer,” he said with a cheeky grin but not before covering the ears of the little girl in front of him with his hands so she wouldn’t hear him curse. At this point I felt like it was way too easy for him to make me laugh but at the same time I didn’t really want to do anything against it. These halls had seen worse things than people laughing after all.

“You fit right in with all of my patients, you know that? And don’t you have plans with the cup for this evening?”

I didn’t get an answer straight away because Vince took his time to talk to the last five families left in line before we made our way back to the elevators. I had kind of forgotten about the camera crew that was there to document it all until all of us were crammed back inside the tight space, my shoulder brushing against Vince’s arm so I wouldn’t bump into any of the expensive equipment.

“I promised to make an appearance at this club but they’ll wait for me. By the way, you should come as well.” At first I thought he was joking, surely he had to be as we’d only met, but his try at a winning smile told me he was anything but. Again, was this him flirting or was I losing my mind?

“Shooting your shot while you’re in my good graces because of the kids, I see. I’m gonna have to disappoint though, I’m stuck here till seven and then I have another 12 hour shift coming up tomorrow so I can have a four day weekend.” I had already kind of accepted that we would never see each other again, especially with me turning him down now, and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t a bit sad about it.

“That sounds brutal. I’m throwing another party at my condo on Saturday if you’re free then.”

“I’m actually driving up to a lake house with some friends for the weekend, sorry.” By now I really was interested because he seemed fun and I wanted that for my last few weeks up here but his timing was truly the worst.

“Wow, you’re really making me work for it,” he let out a teasing chuckle then, running his hand up and down his neck in a very distracting move as he contemplated his next words “I’m assuming you have a busy week next week as well so perhaps next Saturday?”

“Ummm.. I already agreed to meet some friends at a bar on that Saturday,” his face fell at that so I couldn’t help but add “but you’re welcome to meet us there if you want to see how the working class parties. Bring some of your friends as well if you want.”

The smile he gave me at that was equivalent to that of a five year old patient when they get told that they could have a slice of the chocolate cake and it made me glad that there was no one monitoring my heart rate at the moment.

The next day was just another regular day at work and while I had lots of fun yesterday, I was glad to be back in my comfort zone. Working days was anything but boring and I had been so busy that my watch told me I’d already reached my step goal for the day halfway through my shift.

I finally had some time to update the charts while sitting down at the nurses’ station, desperately hoping for some down time soon so I could perhaps even grab another cup of coffee to stop me from climbing into a free bed and taking a nap right there.

I’d seen many people pray in this building and not all of them got what they wished for but somehow today must have been my lucky day because just as I’d finished that thought someone cleared their throat in front of me. I was ready to answer some questions from worried parents but what I totally didn’t expect was Vince standing there with two coffee cups.

“I thought I’d drop this off as a thank you for babysitting me yesterday and I had a feeling that you’d need it”, he said before giving me one of his dazzling smiles. He looked good in a black t shirt and some jeans, his perfectly styled hair in contrast to the messy bun currently on top of my head. That is if the rat’s nest could even still be called a bun.

“Vince Dunn you just keep on surprising me”, I responded with a breathless laugh, not really knowing what else to say at the sweet gesture. What do you say to a good-looking hockey player that not only asks you to spend time with him three times but also takes the time out of his day for this?

Well, besides thanks, obviously.

Vince handed me one of the cups and I took a sip before looking up at him in surprise.

“How do you know the way I like my coffee?”

Instead of answering, he pointed at something behind me and I turned around to see the coffee order list I’d started a while ago in case someone decided to grab some for everyone, my name on top of the sheet.

“I noticed it yesterday in passing, I swear I’m not a stalker or anything.” He blushed at this and it was so cute and unlike his otherwise smooth self that I couldn’t just let him off the hook.

“You know, that’s exactly what a stalker would say”, I responded with a sly smile and while his face turned even more red he burst out laughing. By now we had the attention of every nurse close by and I was pretty sure that all of them were eavesdropping but who could blame them, I’d do the exact same thing. People here lived for the drama, kind of a given with how much time we spent in here because it didn’t really leave much space for a life outside of these halls. Especially if said drama involved a very hot hockey player.

“I’m changing the topic now before I embarrass myself in front of you even further just so you know. I did actually come here for one more thing,” he trailed off before bending down to pick up a bag that I hadn’t noticed before, too distracted by the guy in front of me. “I brought this for Lucas so he has something to show his friends once he gets back on the ice.” He pulled out a Blues’ jersey and turned it around so I could see that it was one of his, complete with a signature and a small message.

Lucas had been an avid hockey player himself up until his kidneys basically decided that they didn’t want to work anymore a while ago. Things had gotten so bad that he had to permanently stay in intensive care with us until after months of dragging people in here to get tested they finally found a donor in a family friend last week. At least his surgery had gone well and while I’d miss having him around, I was glad that he’d finally get discharged to recover at home later today.

I took another sip of the coffee before getting up and walking next to Vince to Lucas’ room. Lucas greeted me with a smile, which only grew after he saw who was following me into the room. Despite having struggled for so long he had always been in a good mood, even when he had to celebrate his fifteenth birthday in the hospital a few weeks ago.

“Look at you, it’s your last day in here and things just keep on getting better.” Vince and Lucas did the handshake they’d come up with yesterday, something that was absolutely necessary as a hockey player or so I’d been told.

Lucas had grown up in Chicago and he’d seen Vince play for the team there but had only really started paying attention after the apparently best fight ever Vince had gotten into at one of the games. Obviously not my words. The connection between the two of them had been instant and all the hockey talk had my head spinning more than during the first few weeks of nursing school so I made a quick exit, leaving them to it.

“I bet every nurse wishes they could trade spots with you right now, me included by the way”, Rachel, my partner in crime since day one of our college classes together, said as soon as I returned to my spot at the station.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about”, I responded, acting clueless. With a raised brow she reached for my coffee cup, spinning it around to reveal a small note written on the side of it that I hadn’t even noticed before.

“You sure about that? This fine specimen of a hockey player just gave you his number and you still act like there’s nothing going on? Besides, everyone saw you two getting all chummy yesterday.”

I snatched the cup out of her hands, quickly checking if the coast was clear before pulling out my phone to add his number to my contacts while keeping my head down so I wouldn’t have to look her in the eyes.

“Oh wipe that shit-eating grin off your face. All I get is annoying parents and you get hot dads and famous athletes hitting on you out left and right. Like leave some for the rest of us girl, it’s not fair.”

Even though I’d shot Vince a quick text so he could have my number as well, I never really expected anything more than his response that he’d saved it.

To say I was surprised when he texted me the following week was definitely an understatement. It wasn’t a booty call either, no, he’d texted me in the middle of the day asking if I was working days or nights this week.

Me: days as usual but I’m actually on-call today, got luckyy

Dunner: so you’re home right now?

Okay so perhaps this was a booty call after all. Not that I particularly minded.

While his first response had been pretty fast he took a little longer to answer after I told him that I was home indeed. Laying on the couch in an oversized shirt and yoga pants rewatching some Grey’s Anatomy on to be exactly. Almost the same as working. The rainy weather set the perfect mood for a lazy day in though so I hadn’t moved from my spot ever since returning from the gym this morning.

Dunner: this Chinese place near me has a special two for one offer today and I wanted to bring you some to work

I still wasn’t sure if this was him flirting but I’d also never had somebody I’d only met a week ago offer to bring me food to the hospital so he had to be, right? I sent a screenshot of the message to Rachel but I knew that I couldn’t count on her responding to it anytime soon, seeing as she was actually at work right now. I decided to be forward, telling him that I wouldn’t complain about some good food either way.

Inviting someone who was basically a stranger over to your apartment generally wasn’t exactly the best idea, but I counted on the impression I had of him so far and the reputation he surely had to uphold as a NHL player. Besides, we had lots of medical equipment scattered around the apartment so surely I’d find a syringe or something to defend myself if needed.

Dunner: I’ll be over in 30 so try not to get called in before then

True to his word the bell didn’t ring much later. I’d debated making an effort and changing but I wasn’t about to wear jeans or a skirt to hang out so that didn’t leave many options. Brushing your hair wasn’t nothing either so that counted in my opinion.

Vince had gone through the same train of thought as well apparently because he looked super cozy in some sweatpants and a hoodie that had gotten slightly wet, presumably from his walk from his car to the building as our parking situation was really shitty. He stepped inside and reached up to run his hand through his damp hair before shaking his head, making little droplets of water fly in every direction.

“This is why they don’t allow dogs in here”, I laughed, gesturing to my shirt that now looked like an abstract splash painting.

“Let me make it up to you with some of the best food you’ve ever had because I brought lots” was his response as he lifted the bag of take out while slipping off his shoes by the door, hair now sticking in all directions.

“Alright Dunner, show me what you got”, I said with a wink over my shoulder as I made my way into the kitchen, continuing my bold streak from earlier. I had also learned by now that nicknames were even more important than handshakes as a hockey player. I was pretty sure I’d heard him mumble something along the line of ‘Gladly’ but I was already too far ahead of him to be absolutely certain.

“You’re watching Grey’s Anatomy? Isn’t it like crazy inaccurate?”, he asked with a look at the TV in the living room as I hadn’t bothered to pause the episode.

“Yeah of course it is but I still like it somehow. It’s like the hospital equivalent of bad trash TV shows so it’s kind of my guilty pleasure.”

“Okay give me a quick summary of what I need to know for this episode so we can watch it while we eat.”

I looked at him like he was crazy but he urged me on, looking up at me expectantly from where he’d sat down on the couch. Eventually I gave in, trying to keep explanations as short as possible but even then it took me quite a while to get through, yet Vince never once looked like he was bored. He didn’t lose his interest in it after that either, only looking away from the screen to decide what he was going to eat next, all of the choices delicious just like he promised.

Stuffed like a turkey on Thanksgiving the both of us stayed unmoved on the couch watching episode after episode. Somehow my legs had ended up on his lap and his hands were resting on my knees, drawing slow circles as we made eye contact from time to time. Every few minutes his hand would inch up a little and with him biting his lip as he did it there was no way I would stop him, any doubts about his intentions long gone by now. I couldn’t stop the smile spreading on my lips as his hand finally reached the top of my thigh, softly kneading the sensitive part on the inside. If I was into hand porn, I would have orgasmed already at the sight of his hands wrapped around my thigh.

“What are you grinning about?”, Vince asked with an easy smile himself, looking at me in a way that told me that Meredith had long lost his attention.

“Just waiting for you to finally make a move.”

“I was trying to be somewhat of a gentlemen but I really can’t help myself with you wearing those pants..”

“Well you seem to be awful at it so don’t be one then”, I teased back feeling confident yet again.

In a flash he had somehow - I’ll probably keep wondering about the details for the rest of my life - managed to lift me up enough to shift me so I was straddling his lap, now turned on by his manhandling and the way he was currently looking up at me. For a second both of us stared at each other, trying to figure out if this was really going to happen. Vince lifted his hand from my hip to my face, slowly pulling me down towards him.

Our lips didn’t even get the chance to connect before my phone started ringing.

I jumped up from his lap, immediately recognizing the ringtone I had set for all work calls and almost kneeing him in the crown jewels in the process. One look at my screen told me that it was an emergency which prompted me to run into my room cursing. I quickly pulled on the pair of scrubs I’d laid out in the morning, one hand still pulling the top down while the other was trying to attach my badge properly by the time I made it back into the living room. Vince hadn’t even moved from the couch yet, eyes wide and legs still comfortably spread apart, a sight that made me want to climb back on top of him but unfortunately I couldn’t do that.

“I’m so sorry but I gotta go, you don’t need to rush though. Feel free to keep on watching if you want but please don’t rob us and make sure the door is closed if you decide to leave after all, it locks automatically. The food was delicious thank you very much and bye!”

I barely heard him saying bye as well before I was already through the door, not really looking forward to spending the next few hours in the chaos that usually came with emergency calls. Especially after how much I’d enjoyed spending time with Vince and how much I wished that we would’ve just skipped all of the testing-the-waters stuff and would’ve just went at it like madmen.

The weekend couldn’t arrive fast enough and by the time it was Saturday I was ready to abandon all of my plans so I could sleep the rest of the day. I’d gotten in late last night after working overtime and I probably would have stayed in bed till noon if it wasn’t for Rachel and Mariah bursting into my room at nine in the morning. At least they didn’t wake me at the crack of dawn and the cake they were carrying to my bed looked pretty delicious as well.

“Look at you, another year older and yet still sexy as fuck”, Rachel exclaimed as she hopped onto the bed beside me after they’d finished their horrible rendition of Happy Birthday. Mariah settled on the other side of me and I guess my friends knew me well enough because we didn’t move from that position except to grab some more food and booze until it was time to get ready for tonight. Best roommates ever.

“You need to look extra hot tonight, I want Vince to lose his shit when he sees you.”

Ever since I’d sent the screenshot to Rachel and told her about the couch situation, she had been on my back about the thing. Something about me needing to bag rich hot athletes for her sake. I didn’t even argue with her anymore, only rolling my eyes in sync with Mariah whenever she brought it up.

To my surprise Vince hadn’t been deterred by my hasty exit a few days ago, something that had definitely surprised me. It wasn’t the first time that my job had cockblocked me and it definitely won’t be the last and I’d met more than my fair share of guys who were absolutely not into that at all. The fascination with nurses died really fast once people realized how much time we spent on the job.

Vince and I had texted constantly since he spent the day with me and he had somehow managed to make casual conversation with a flirty undertone the entire time. We’d already established that neither of us was looking for anything serious right now but I had decided that I would definitely not say no to some fun with him.

Some birthday sex would be great for starters. I let Rachel curl my hair while I focused on perfecting my make up because I wanted to look good tonight, not just for Vince but also because by next weekend I’d already be packed so this was really my last big hurrah before moving back home.

The thing about spending most of my days make up free in sports bras, comfortable panties and running shoes was that if I did bother to go out, I put in a lot of effort. I was determined to turn heads tonight so I pulled on a black lace bodysuit that practically presented my boobs on a silver tray, a pair of jeans that made my ass look spectacular and some black stilettos that I hoped wouldn’t kill my feet in a few hours. I had to go braless under the bodysuit, the mesh part on the back making that very obvious and I had a feeling that Vince wouldn’t exactly mind either.

“Girl I’d totally bang you because you look so hot but that outfit shows off everything that’s wrong with you”, Rachel said as we all examined ourselves one last time in front of the full-length mirror in my room and took pictures. I shot her a confused look.

“Wait what’s wrong with me?”

“Well for one your ass looks bangin and so do your boobs and I’m pretty sure that I could tell if you had a dick wearing that and people with dicks are my type soooo..”, she trailed off and both Mariah and I turned towards her with an incredulous look before bursting out laughing, all the day drinking taking its toll already. It wasn’t exactly new for Rachel to stop making any sense once she had some alcohol in her but it was still just as entertaining every single time.

“I can’t believe you’re complaining about her not having a dick right now”, Mariah sighed and I couldn’t stop giggling at my idiotic friends.

“I’m not complaining! I’m just saying that I need a dick to-“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Just – just for once in your life be at least somewhat normal please”, Mariah interrupted her exasperated and the both of them continuing to bicker still had me laughing by the time we climbed into the back of our Uber.

We were the last to arrive of course, because Rachel had insisted on us being fashionably late so by the time we made it inside the bar I could already spot my friends sitting in the back. She had also insisted on me wearing a stupid Birthday Girl sash, reminding me how many free drinks it would get me, but I drew the line at the tiara she had pulled out of her purse as well. I was too old for the full 21st birthday look after all.

After I was hugged by everyone and had received all of the birthday wishes and presents I realized that Vince wasn’t among the group, which was weird because we’d been texting all day and he had asked to confirm the time and place again just this morning.

It was as if my thought made him appear because soon I felt two hands gently grab my waist while his cologne infiltrated my senses. He spun me around and the force of the move had me reach out to rest my hands on his shoulders so I wouldn’t fall over. I knew he had done that on purpose.

We were standing so close that we would have definitely gotten in trouble if this were a middle school dance and the way he looked down at me right now made me curse everything that came to my mind because I just wanted to drag him to the nearest bathroom so he could bend me over the counter but of course that wouldn’t be acceptable in front of all my friends.

“Why didn’t you tell me that today is your birthday? Now I’m going to have to make up for the fact that I didn’t get you a present.”

I had a feeling that I wouldn’t mind whatever this making up entailed, if the way he tightened his grip while looking at me as if he was thinking about bathroom counters as well was any indicator.

“Because you don’t just tell people that it’s your birthday, that’s weird.” He pulled me even tighter then, wrapping his arms around me and wishing me a happy birthday after giving me a kiss on the cheek that gave me goosebumps. Before he had the chance to pull away however, I leaned up on my tippy toes because even with heels he was still taller than me and whispered “I can’t wait for the making up for it part though” in his ear.

He groaned in response and he dropped his hands to give my hips a squeeze before reluctantly letting go of me. Only now did I spot the two guys behind him that were all watching us with amused expressions, which had to be the friends he said he’d bring. Introductions were quick and I didn’t even bother to introduce everyone to Vince and his gang because the group was so big that the three of them wouldn’t be able to remember many names either way.

We settled into one of the booths and Rachel practically pushed me into the seat next to Vince, not that I minded of course. Conversation flowed easily, as did the drinks, and soon I found myself climbing out of the booth because I had just about consumed my body weight in liquid and desperately needed to go to the bathroom for something that unfortunately wasn’t sex. Walking over I could feel a slight buzz already but not to the extent that would make me stumble in my heels, perfect for a night out.

By the time Mariah and I returned I could tell that another one of Rachel’s plans was in action because now there was one more person sitting at our table, meaning there wasn’t enough space left for both Mariah and I. I was about to move to sit with some other friends in the booth next to ours when Vince, who was conveniently seated at the edge of our booth, told me to sit on his lap and that was an offer I would never turn down.

He grabbed my hips to pull me closer and onto his lap as he said: “Don’t worry I won’t bite.”

I couldn’t resist messing with him though, so I purposefully shifted closer to his crotch and leaned towards him so only he could hear me as I whispered: “What if I want you to though?” I could tell he was trying to suppress a groan and he gripped me even tighter, pulling me back into him.

Poor Vince, his balls were going to be the same color as a Blues jersey soon enough.

Unfortunately I couldn’t elaborate to make the situation even worse for him because I was being pulled into the conversation at the table. I could feel him growing hard underneath my ass though and the fact that I was able to rile him up so easily really did wonders for my self-confidence..

After I could tell that he had calmed down again I decided to put him out of his misery. Well, kind of. Me leaning across one of the pool tables as I took my shot gave him a perfect view of my cleavage or of me bending over after all, depending on where he stood.

“Are you always this bad?”, I asked after he missed yet another shot.

“No, usually I’m average at least but I guess I’m a little bit distracted right now.” He didn’t even try to hide him staring at my boobs as I took my turn. We’d both long dropped any pretense about where this was headed. After I made my shot I walked around the table to get a better angle for the next one, accidentally brushing up against Vince who now had a perfect view of my ass.

“I hope you’re only average at pool and not at anything else”, I teased him with a look over my shoulder after watching the ball roll into the hole the way I’d planned before straightening up again.

“Let me take you home so my neighbors can confirm me being anything but average”, he responded, his voice deep as he moved next to me, one of his big hands resting on my lower back to play with the fabric there, the heat of his hands practically burning my skin as I looked up at him.

Our intense eye contact was interrupted by one of the waitresses who walked up to the pool table sheepishly with a drink on her tray.

“Hey, that guy over there sent you this and I’m supposed to tell you to come over to him so you don’t have to, uh, keep playing with a - um - loser. His words not mine, sorry.” She pointed to a guy a few tables over who was decently good looking but radiated Asshole Energy off of him, his incredibly rude move not really helping either. Even if it wasn’t for Vince standing next to me I wouldn’t have touched him with a ten foot pole.

Vince had tensed up at the words and I watched him ball his hands into his fists, every muscle in his body tightening with anger. I had no doubt that because of his hockey experience he could hold his own in a fight but it wasn’t something I needed tonight. I thanked the waitress before setting the drink down and making a show of turning towards Vince, one hand trailing up from his biceps to the back of his head so I could interrupt the stare off he was currently having with the other guy.

“Don’t worry, I’m flattered that I seem to be able to distract you so much. To be honest I can’t really concentrate either because now I really want you to make me scream so loud that your neighbors file noise complaints.” Vince choked slightly and then reached for the drink that was sitting next to me, taking three big gulps while looking at me, his eyes dark.

He then grabbed my hand and I didn’t miss the smug look he threw at the other guy over my shoulder before pulling me towards the backdoor of the bar, the pool game abandoned without a second thought. The air outside had cooled down a bit by now but I didn’t even get the chance to acknowledge that because Vince had me pushed against the wall in a second, one hand resting next to my head while the other reached up to cup my face, dropping his head for a kiss.

All this teasing had finally led to this.

It was rough and yet sensual at the same time, his lips demanding and it didn’t take long until his tongue licked along my bottom lip, asking for entrance. He then deepened the kiss even further and I reached up to bury my hands in his stupidly perfect and soft hair, eliciting a throaty groan. When he pushed one of his legs in between mine I couldn’t help the moan that escaped me in turn at the delicious friction, followed by yet another one as he dropped his head to suck along my neck. I could feel how hard he was and it turned me on beyond imagination.

The thought that I would probably let him fuck me in this alley right now brought me back down to earth because this was not how I envisioned my night going.

“Vince, hold up”, I murmured and as soon as my words registered with him he pulled away, both of us panting.

“What’s wrong?”

I laughed at his expression, he looked at me as if he was truly worried that he’d overstepped a boundary. As if I hadn’t thrown hints left and right for the last couple of days. His swollen lips made it hard to concentrate because I just wanted to sink my teeth into them until he groaned again the way he had only seconds ago and I silently cursed his stupid perfect lips. I wondered what damage they could do.

“Nothing’s wrong, nothing at all. I just wanted to say let’s go back inside for like another hour or so and then we can take off.” The smile that quickly spread on his face made it obvious that he was going to say something not-PG-13 before he opened his mouth again to ask:

“Do you think your friends would mind if I dragged you home right this second?”

I had to laugh at that but it quickly died in my throat as he moved his hands to my hips to pull me close again before crashing his lips back onto mine. The going back to the others part would apparently be slightly delayed but with the way his lips and body moved against mine right now I would probably agree to anything if it meant getting to stay right in this position a bit longer.

This time it was less rushed and frantic and instead he took his time to explore every inch of my mouth while his hands wandered my body. Mine were roaming as well, from the neck down his muscular shoulders around to the front before finally creeping up his back below his shirt. I enjoyed the way I could feel his muscles tense under my touch but eventually we had to pull away from each other. We’d spent way too much time out here as it is.

“Let’s go back inside, the faster we get back the sooner we can leave and besides they’re probably wondering what we’re doing out here so long.”

The smug looks we received once we made our way back to the tables after I fixed my hair and make up and Vince did whatever he had to do to conceal his massive hard on made it clear that everyone had a good idea of what had gone on outside though. I’m pretty sure Rachel would have high fived me if it weren’t for the people sitting between us.

I sat on Vince’s lap again and this time it was torture for the both of us to wait until it was finally an acceptable time to make a getaway. I let Rachel take all the presents for me and she made Vince give her his address and phone number before she let him pull me into the back of an Uber.

I was pressed against him for the entire ride, his hand resting way higher on my leg than technically publicly acceptable. With every turn or bump in the road he accidentally brushed my core and at more than one point I had to hide my face in his broad chest so the driver wouldn’t hear the soft moans that couldn’t be stopped. I could tell that he was trying his best not to get too handsy as not to cause a scene but once we were alone in the elevator of his building all bets were off.

He walked me back against the doors, pushing one of his legs in between my own again and kissed me with a force that made me glad that I had tons of metal behind me as leverage to push back. He only pulled away once the little ‘ding’ could be heard and even then he only held off until he had me inside his apartment, barely waiting a second before he shrugged off his jacket, quickly moving onto mine.

Somehow we managed to make it onto the couch without breaking apart our kiss and I barely had time to admire his floor to ceiling windows before he pulled me close until I was straddling his lap. His lips were working on my neck again and I reminded him to not leave any marks there because I had to work on Monday morning, which only prompted him to move down lower, sucking at the skin right above the lace of my bodysuit.

“No one will see those then”, he murmured against my breasts and I moaned as he reached up to palm them through the material. By the time he was done I had several purple marks littering my cleavage and I really needed to see more of him so I motioned for him to take his shirt off, watching in awe as he reached back to pull it over his head in the perfect way only guys managed to.

His body could only be described as a work of art and I could tell that he worked really hard for it as I traced the outline of his abs, muscles contracting and goosebumps rising at my touch. The city lights made for the perfect lighting and the way his skin glowed in their reflection belonged in a museum if ever captured.

Vince reached for the button of my jeans and looked at me as if to ask if I was okay with that. I nodded before standing up, trying to get out of my jeans and heels in a quick but still somewhat sexy motion but I probably succeeded only halfway. He didn’t seem deterred by my struggle at all, the hungry look in his eyes never once vanishing.

As soon as I stood upright again Vince reached up to trace the lace embellishments, slowly moving his hands down lower towards where I really wanted them. Considering the fact that the bodysuit had already been pretty revealing in itself there wasn’t really much ‘new’ skin to see so far but he still looked at me with an intensity that almost made me shiver.

He reached to pull me down on him again but instead I surprised him by sinking down to my knees in front of him, his breath audibly hitching in his throat. For a second he was silent but as soon as I poked my tongue out to trace the ‘V’ on his lower stomach he let out a low moan, throwing his head back.

“Impatient much?”, I teased him, pleasantly surprised at my ability to make him almost lose his shit without even really doing anything.

“You have no idea. I’ve thought about this for days”, he admitted and I only smiled in return, moving to pull his jeans down along with his boxers without revealing that I had done the same. He got up to step out of both while I was focused on watching his dick bounce with the movement, amazed at the size of it.

As soon as he made himself comfortable again I grabbed the base with one hand while resting the other one on his thigh as I moved to lick the drops of precum that adorned the tip. When my tongue made contact he moved one of his hands into my hair, holding it back so he could get a better view.

“Fuck, you look so good like this”, he cursed when I finally wrapped my lips around him, taking the head into my mouth while swirling my tongue around him and taking him a bit further. I removed my lips and I could tell he was about to protest but any words died in his mouth when I started sucking his balls, reaching up to pump his length that was already slick from my spit with my hand.

He seemed to find his voice again once I licked up the underside of his dick but it was only a string of curses that turned into moans when I took him into my mouth as far as I could, my nose touching his pelvic bone. I relaxed my throat and swallowed around him, my name falling from his lips again and again as I reached up to massage his balls at the same time. I looked up to see him watching me with his pupils blown, hair sticking in all directions from running his hands through it so many times and his mouth slightly open. His arms were spread out beside him on the back of the couch and I wanted to take a picture to commemorate the moment, wanting to remember this forever. He had definitely never looked better and no one could convince me otherwise.

The hand in my hair helped me set a rhythm as I bobbed my head while licking around him and Vince was a moaning and cursing mess above me. It didn’t take long before he quite literally pulled me off him, running his hand across his face and taking a few calming breaths.

“You’re incredible but I don’t want to cum yet”, he finally murmured when he helped me back up and I wasn’t sure if he was only complimenting my blowjob-skills or more but the way he was looking at me right now made any thought besides wanting him inside me disappear.

“Vince I need you”, I practically begged and he quickly nodded before standing up with me still in his lap, reaching out to grab the back of my thighs to prevent me from slipping down. He somehow managed to walk up the stairs with me still wrapped around him while I trailed kisses along his collar bones and it was probably the hottest non-sexual thing I’d ever experienced with a guy.

He turned on a soft light once inside his room and while I would have loved to have a look around I was pretty distracted by the way he literally threw me on the bed before crawling on top of me, my legs falling apart to make space for him as if it was the most natural thing on earth.

Vince kissed down my breasts before suddenly stopping somewhere above my belly button.

“Okay I have to admit I’m a bit lost here, as hot as you look in it how the fuck do I get this thing off?” I probably shouldn’t laugh in such a somewhat serious situation but his helpless expression did nothing to stop the giggles that escaped my mouth. He was smiling as well and I was glad that we could laugh about the slight hiccup without it turning awkward.

I quickly reached down to snap open the buttons before sitting up and pulling the piece of lace over my head, discarding it in some corner of his room now completely naked.

“Much better”, he murmured, one of his hands reaching out to grab a hold of my boobs while the other one wrapped around my back, lowering us back onto the mattress. Eventually he trailed his kisses over the part of my skin that was marked up by him until he sucked one of my nipples into his mouth, his hand taking care of the other one.

Slowly but surely he kissed his way down my body, skipping over the part where I needed him most to suck along the inside of my thighs. The sensation rushed through me, my core already throbbing from days of built up expectations and I let out a whine. I was tempted to try and close my legs so I could at least get some kind of friction but his shoulders between them made that impossible.

“Patience baby, don’t you know that good things come to those who wait?”, he murmured and I shuddered at the feeling of his breath fanning across my heat. I didn’t even have the time to think about the fact that he had just called me baby or that I was actually a firm believer in good things happening to those who worked for them because he reached down to drag one of his fingers through my folds and all thoughts left my body.

“Shit, you’re so wet already”, he said softly but I was unable to give him any response besides a frantic nod and another desperate whine.

I’d fantasized about this for the last couple of days of course but nothing came close to the reality of one of his thick fingers dipping into my core. He teased my entrance for a bit, only pushing inside to his first knuckle but then I whined again and he pushed it in as far as he could. I was so lost in the feeling that I hadn’t even noticed him moving back up my body until he littered the valley between my breasts with heated kisses.

“So tight. I can’t wait to feel you around my cock.”

As if the words he’d moaned into my ear weren’t already enough to make any coherent thoughts disappear, he added a second finger and I arched my back into him, the change of angle just right in a way that had me gripping the sheets so tightly that my knuckles turned white. He reached dropped down to tease my nipples, sucking and licking them expertly while his hand thrust up into me.

My moans were already filling the room but then he started circling my clit with his thumb and I knew that I wouldn’t last much longer, the anticipation and desperation definitely helping to speed things along. He looked up at me to watch my reactions and the sight of him with his mouth latched onto my breast was almost enough to send me over the edge by itself.

“I’m so close Vince, please don’t stop”, I begged and this seemed to spur him on further, his movements turning even more eager as he continued to place sloppy kisses along my skin. It was the combination of everything he was doing to me that finally brought me over the edge, the release so sweet after needing it for so long.

He made sure to extend my orgasm as long as possible, only pulling his hand away after I whimpered slightly, the stimulation a bit much now. His softly kissed his way back down and along my thighs now and I could tell that he wasn’t quite done with me yet.

“How’s the birthday girl feeling right now?”, he asked with a teasing smile and normally I probably would have smacked him for this but right now I would tolerate it because I was still in my blissful post-orgasmic state.

“Amazing so far, could do better though.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm, I’m pretty sure I was promised some making up for the lack of a present and I don’t think we’ve reached that point yet.”

“Well excuse me then while I go back to work.” And with that he flattened his tongue and boldly licked one long stripe across my slit.

He started out slowly and I was glad because I was still a bit sensitive from my last orgasm, lapping at my entrance and pushing his tongue inside of me, making me gasp. It didn’t take long however until he grabbed my hips to pull me closer and onto his mouth, pushing my legs up to expose me even further to him and ultimately giving him better access.

When he sucked my clit into his mouth I couldn’t help but arch my back off the mattress again, burying my hands in his hair as he reached up to hold me still. This guy’s lips weren’t just pretty, they were apparently amazingly talented as well.

He replaced his tongue with one of his thick fingers, slowly pushing in and soon his name fell off my lips in a religious chant as he added yet another one, curling them upwards for maximum pleasure. I could feel my high coming from a mile away and Vince apparently must have too by the way I was grinding myself against his face because he quite literally dove back in, determined to shatter my word.

And shatter my world he did.

I was pretty sure I would have floated away as I reached my high if it wasn’t for Vince’s hand across my stomach keeping me grounded. My legs were still shaking with the aftershocks of one of the arguably - no hands down - best orgasms I’d had while getting head in my life. By the time I was finally able to open my eyes again he was wiping his face before grinning down at me.

“You look so fucked out already and we haven’t even gotten to that part yet”, he teased and I let out a chuckle before pushing at his chest. Leave it to him to make fun of me after he was the one who put me in this situation. Not that I was complaining of course.

“Don’t worry, it’s a good look on you. One that I’d definitely like to see more often.” He leaned down to nip at my neck then, his cock prodding at my thigh.

“If you keep doing that you definitely will”, I responded with an airy laugh, still kind of breathless. All talk died down after that however when he captured my lips with his again as he crawled on top of me, settling between my legs. Kissing him was definitely addicting and the fact that I could taste myself while doing so only made it ten times more hot.

Vince rolled his hips against mine, groaning into my mouth when his cock dragged against my skin while I couldn’t stop the moan escaping my lips either. Breaking the kiss he pulled back in a way that had him in a push-up position above me, giving me a moment to enjoy the view. His hair was sticking in all kinds of directions, his pupils so blown that they almost seemed black instead of the usual beautiful green and his muscles were flexing from holding the position.

“Still want to keep going?”, he asked and in my daze it took me a second to realize that this was him asking for consent. I had no doubt that he wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want him to but this, him offering to stop when he had done so much for me already while not getting off yet in return, was sweet. Especially since I had made it more than obvious that stopping was definitely not on my mind.

I moved to flip us over then, straddling his thighs and wrapping my hand around his dick, pumping him a few times and in case that wasn’t confirmation enough for him I leaned down to whisper a “definitely” in his ear.

“Condoms?”

“Top drawer on your right.”

Only because we weren’t in the middle of his huge bed was I able to reach said drawer, grabbing one of the foil packets out of the box and ripping it open with my teeth before rolling it down on him. I scooted up enough to line his cock with my entrance and while I tried to watch Vince as I sunk down on him the way my eyes fluttered shut at the sensation was out of my control.

While there had definitely been enough foreplay to make the sliding in part easy it was still quite a stretch, one so amazing however that it had the both of us moaning at the same time.

“Shit you feel incredible”, he breathed and I nodded my head in agreement, too lost in the pleasure to form any coherent sentences. Rolling my hips against him created some amazing friction that had my head spinning as I clenched my muscles, eliciting throaty groans from him.

Vince reached for my hips, gripping them tightly as he helped guide me along, my clit catching on his pelvic bone with every backward movement. “You got one more in you babe?”, he asked and to my surprise I could tell that I did. The fact that I could already feel it bubbling inside of me spoke volumes of our chemistry in bed together. This was a friends with benefits arrangement I could definitely get behind.

He sat up then, changing the angle at which his cock dragged against my walls and also making it possible for him to take one of my nipples into his mouth, gently grazing his teeth against it while tightening his grip on my hip as he thrust up into me. At this point I was a moaning mess on top of him but I honestly didn’t care. I hadn’t had sex this good in a while and the way he looked up at me in awe made it impossible to feel anything but sexy.

I didn’t even need any extra help to reach my third orgasm of the night with his name falling off my lips, the feeling so strong that my mind was absolutely blank and I saw stars dancing across the back of my eyelids as I arched into him with my eyes shut. He made sure to let me ride it out, groaning as he felt my walls tighten around him but as soon as I slumped against him he turned us around so he was on top of me, never once pulling out.

The pace at which he was chasing his own high now was relentless and hard and I would have held on for dear life if he hadn’t raised my arms to keep them above my head. One of his hands easily encased both of my wrists while he used his other to keep at least some of his weight off of me. I knew that a fourth orgasm was off the table, I was way too exhausted for that by now but he still felt amazing inside of me. I wrapped my legs around him to allow him deeper, the smack of our skin and our moans so loud that I was glad that we didn’t have any nosy roommates right next door. Those noise complaints from the neighbors I’d mentioned earlier might still roll in though.

With this pace it didn’t take long for his thrusts to lose all rhythm and I could tell that he wouldn’t last much longer. I clenched around him to bring him even closer and he groaned into the crook of my neck where he had buried his face, my name and some colorful curses falling off his lips. He readjusted his position so he could lean up enough to look at me while still holding my wrists above my head and I watched him throw his head back in pleasure as he slammed deep inside of me one last time, face contorting in pleasure as he reached his high. I could feel him pulsing inside of me and a pleasant shudder ran through me, making me sigh at the feeling. Perhaps this was my body’s way of saying girl if I could have, I would have.

He let go of my wrists then and I wrapped my arms around him as he dropped down on top of me. We both caught our breath for a few seconds which honestly wasn’t easy with the extra weight on my chest but it was a nice feeling. He had to carefully pull out and roll off of me eventually, throwing the condom next to the bed to dispose of later. For now it was nice to lay beside each other, covered in a sheen of sweat and still panting.

After finally landing back on planet earth I looked to my right at the alarm clock waiting on the nightstand, only now realizing how late it had gotten. Vince lifted his head enough to check the time as well and let out a light groan at the sight.

“You can spend the night if you want but we should definitely shower before that. Even if it wasn’t your birthday – well technically it’s not anymore – I’m not some dick that would kick you out in the middle of the night.”

I was surprised at his offer, I’d been with guys who were those dicks but I was even more surprised when he told me to pick something to sleep in from his closet before pulling on a pair of boxers and getting up to grab waters for the both of us.

I decided to postpone this until after showering, quickly making my way to his ensuite to use the toilet. I saw enough UTIs at work, I didn’t need them following me home. I was trying to wipe my make up off as best as I could with a washcloth and the face wash from his counter when he returned to his bathroom, a new toothbrush triumphantly in his hand.

“Found this in my junk drawer in the kitchen but I’ll be honest, I have no idea how it got there. The wrapping is unopened tho”, he admitted sheepishly and I laughed.

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll take it.”

Our shower was quick, both of us too exhausted for any more funny business but if my gaze had dropped from time to time appreciatively no one would ever know. He had an amazing body and I would have to be a nun not to acknowledge that.

Especially while he was naked in the shower.

I definitely wasn’t a nun.

Looking for clothes to sleep in turned out to be more difficult than I’d originally thought because of his affinity to clothes that were at least one size too big. Most of them would reach my knees in a really unflattering way and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to sleep while drowning in fabric. I tried on three, neatly putting them back afterwards and actually contemplating sleeping in only a pair of his boxers before finally finding one that didn’t make me look like a kid.

I could tell that it was an old shirt, perhaps from a previous team, worn down over time with a slightly faded print but it was comfortable and it smelled like him, even if I doubted that he had worn it anytime recently.

Vince was already tucked into bed by the time I stepped back into his bedroom, scrolling through his phone but putting it down on the nightstand once I got closer. I could see that he’d searched for a second charger so I could plug my phone in overnight as well and it was such a little gesture but yet it made me smile.

“I prefer to sleep on the right side, I hope you don’t mind”, he said as I climbed under the cover beside him. I shook my head no before responding:

“Nah, I actually like the left side better.”

“See, we’re meant to be fuck buddies.”

“I could already tell from the three orgasms but hey, if that’s what it takes for you to realize that.”

“You have a point there.”

Any other time and I certainly would’ve stayed up for a while longer so we could talk but right now I knew I wouldn’t last long. For a second I wasn’t sure how to do this, would it be weird to cuddle?

Vince made my decision easy however when he pulled me close until my back was flush against him, wrapping his arm around my waist. After our exhausting shenanigans earlier it took neither of us long to fall asleep.

The next morning I woke super early, my inner clock not allowing me to sleep past seven despite staying up late. I’d turned around in my sleep to lay on my stomach but Vince had somehow managed to keep his arm around me and get even closer.

I was slightly worried for my safety because of the fact that I had managed to sleep through a 200 pound guy basically laying on top of me but I’d slept like a baby. I could tell that Vince was still asleep by the even breaths that fanned across my neck but one part of him definitely wasn’t, poking my side. Bless the male population for their sleepy boners.

I was trying to let him sleep as long as I could, I really did, but with him so close to me and the images of last night combined with the very interesting dream I’d just woken up from burned into my memory I couldn’t help myself. I slowly turned in his arms so we were back to the position we’d fell asleep in, on our sides and pressed together spooning.

Even through my shirt I could feel his body radiating heat and if the night had been warmer it definitely would’ve been too much but right now I just wished for all barriers between our bodies to disappear.

My shifting had apparently woken Vince up successfully because he let out a throaty groan before, consciously or not, rocking against my ass and burying his face in my neck.

“Morning”, he said and I’m not gonna lie his husky morning voice did things to me that didn’t exactly help my situation.

“Morning, how’d you sleep?”, I asked, turning my head slightly so I wasn’t having this conversation with his incredibly comfortable pillow.

“Could’ve been longer but I don’t mind. Now that I’m up however..”, he trailed off, lightly biting my neck and moving his hand from my waist to grab my boob, rocking into me again, this time definitely on purpose.

This was definitely a friends with benefits situation I could get behind.

Somehow Vince managed to weasel his way into my life after that. He’d come over after I finished a shift at the hospital, spend the night and leave me incredibly satisfied the next morning when both of us went our separate ways again. Our time with each other was pretty short, only a week, but somehow I’d had more sex in that one week than in the last few months combined.

My last shift at the hospital on Saturday was, for a lack of better words, sad as fuck. So many people came up to me, telling me how much they would miss me and what a great addition I had been over the past year. When they brought a cake into the break room with a sweet message written on top of it I couldn’t help the tears that welled up. I could see Rachel subtly wipe at her eyes as well and I hugged her tightly.

“Remember our first day of classes? Oh how things have changed since then”, she muttered against me and I nodded. One thing that hadn’t changed however was our friendship. She was the reason I had come to Toronto, where she had grown up but it had been five years since I left my home to go to college and I knew that it was time to go back to my family and childhood friends.

“Don’t think you’ll be getting rid of me this soon, I’ll call you all the time and with there only being a one hour time difference between Toronto and St. Louis you have no excuse to avoid me.”

“As if I could ever avoid you, you little shit. But if your hometown insists on having you back I’ll allow it, I guess.” Her insulting me told me that she was okay again so I let go of her, the both of us still sniffling a bit as we each grabbed a piece of the cake.

When I finally made my ay back home that night Vince was already there. Mariah had probably let him in. There’s been some raised eyebrows at first but after seeing him here every day neither of my roommates was surprised when he knocked at our apartment door. Somehow he seemed to sense that I wasn’t in a talking mood right now, especially about having to say goodbye to the place that had been my home for the past year.

I was excited to see my family and friends in St. Louis again, don’t get me wrong, but goodbyes were never easy.

He greeted me with one of his comforting hugs that I’d already grown accustomed to before dropping his head to press a soft kiss on the top of my head before pulling me to the bathroom.

My shampoo and other toiletries were some of the last few things that hadn’t been stuffed in boxes and duffel bags yet and the sight made tears well up in my eyes.

“It’s okay, you know. I don’t like leaving here either”, he murmured in my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, moving us so we both got hit by the stream of hot water. I wanted to forget everything but the feel of his naked body pressed against me but right now I knew I was too in my head to actually be able to enjoy it. Later maybe.

“But you get to come back every summer for a couple of months. I don’t know how long it’ll take until I can visit everyone again and even then it’ll probably only be for a few days.”

“That’s true. But your friends can also visit you. And in a few weeks I’ll be down as well and then you’ll be so annoyed by me constantly bugging you that you won’t be able to miss your friends here anymore.” My sniffle turned into a laugh at his words and I almost swallowed a big gulp of water in that moment, making both of us break into fits of laughter.

I was glad I’d have him with me again in a few weeks. Hopefully at least. We’d talked about our situation and I told Vince to hit me up again once he’d made it to St. Louis too in a few weeks and while he said he would, I knew that there was the possibility that he might not. I didn’t have the opportunity to dwell on the thought too long though because he’d managed to distract me yet again when he placed searing hot kisses along my shoulder.

If he hadn’t managed to get me out of my shell back in the hospital I never would’ve ended up with him in the shower right now. Or bent over the mattress a few minutes later.

Vince Dunn, the arrogant professional athlete, had turned out to be nothing like I’d expected and I had never been more happy to be wrong.

#Vince Dunn #nhl #nhl hockey #vince dunn imagine #nhl imagine #nhl writing #my writing #clear as day #hockey imagine

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bakugoubabygirl · 4 years

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okay before I start she going to choose one. Don't worry if its not the one you wanted her to choose bc its going to be a Roller coaster of emotions and a lot of back and forth for awhile BC I FUCKING LOVE BOTH OF THESES BOYS. also there will be smut soon and it wont be vanilla .

YOUR POV

"Lets go before they find us" I whispered tugging on Bakugou arm. He didn't say a word and followed me. " Lets get some food at the stand" I gave him smile. Bakugou followed me he seem kind of moody though more moody then usual . " Are you going to say yes?" Was he asking about tododroki. I didn't give much thought to that . I like him a lot but if I was being honest with myself i had feelings for someone else. " I dont know I like him a lot and i think it would be amazing. But i also think I have feelings for someone else. To be fair they haven't shown no sign of returning this feeling. Maybe I ought to say yes and forget about the other guy like that" I admitted. " Who is this other guy" He asked. Why was he so damn interested and how can i tell him its him. "Not telling" I felt my face getting red. Next thing I Knew I was getting pinned against a wall. " Tell me" He growled. Why was this bothering him so much. If only he knew that telling him would ruin our friend ship . He would never look at me the way I look at him. because I was made to be the villan. Bakugou strive to be perfect at everything and I was not perfect. " Bakugou Its you stupid" Then I broke free from his grasp . I didn't want t o know his reaction or have him mocked me. I hurried and disappear into the crowd. Still haven't found any thing to eat my tummy started growl. When I heard my name being called out, The next thing I knew someone dragged me off somewhere quite. I'm so sick of being pulled around today. It was my dad, Honestly I was relived that it wasn't Bakugou . " Hey I know you and how your going to give it all but You need to make sure your head is clear. Ive been studying and your powers feed off you emotions. I want to make sure you have a clear head" he said worriedly . OH god I'm screwed my head is far from clear. " Yeah I'm not focusing on anything right now except for winning" I said and I fake smiled. " that's Great I Know your going to make me proud. I may be rooting midoryia but Your my number one and I hope you win more." He smiled. Pulled me and for a hug. " Thank you dad and don't worry Ill cut all there throats open" I laughed. Then it was time to to go back to the arena. Time to face bakugou mental and physical . I think mentally would be harder to do. Midnight call me and bakugou to fight first. I try not to think about what had conspire between us earlier. I need to focus to keep my head cleared. We both step into the ring. Bakugou goes to attack me and I dodge it just in time. Then I Blast one of my purple fire balls at him and he dodge to . This was really upsetting, and I Take one of my shadow hands out and it wraps around his body. I started to think about how he never loses. He was perfect and every way and would make a fine super hero one day. something you'll never be the voice was back again.

Bakugou POV

She had her hand wrapped around me. I had to escape and then I saw Her starting to levitate off the ground. Her eyes flash purple there was a gasp from the crowd. She slam hard into the ground with the shadow hand. She was Going to kill me. I jump up and fired another explosion at her this time using more force. She shield it and then made a big shadowy fist at the ground causing it to erupt . I almost fell but then I caught my balance. This time I used my full force now that I knew it wouldn't hurt her too bad. The explosion was so big she couldn't shield it. She was on the ground and lay there for several of seconds. I walked over her to see if I have won and if she was okay. She started to get back up again and she grabbed a whole of me again. She grabbed me so tight with the shadow arm I couldn't breath. My face started to turn purple I was pretty sure I was going to die. The crowed was screaming to let me go But she wouldn't listen. " Y/n Please let me go I cant breathe" I try to say but she didn't hear or listen. She wouldn't do this on purpose. Something was seriously wrong . this was not her. " Y/n Please I love you" at that point I didn't fucking care if the whole crowed thought I was a simp . I love her and I need her to came back. Her eyes turn back to e/c when I said that. " Bakugou" she gasps and then dropped me. I could barley move I'm pretty sure she won but she just stared at me. Her eyes started to tear up. " I give up" she yelled. Then ran out of the arena . They announced me winner and The nursing girl came to heal up my minor wounds. I was livid that I won that way. She threw the fight.

Y/N POV

I Brought shame on my dad and my school. I brought shame on myself. The whole world watch it happen too. They watch me turn into a monster. I almost killed bakugou and He never going to want anything to do with me again. I sat outside the stadium on the ground. I'm no hero I cant even go and face what I done. I must of sat there for hours and hours. It was finally dark and everyone left. it started to pour down rain. I decided to go back into the arena to pick up my bag and stuff. It was dark except for a couple security lights. I found my bag when I heard a familiar voice. " Tch where did you go?" Bakugou asked. Was he still talking to me. " heard you won congratulation" I gave him a smile. The air was so cold I could see my own breath.

BAKUGOU POV

" THATS NOT HOW I WANTED TO WIN" he yelled. " YOU GAVE UP THAT FIGHT WAS YOURS" " I almost killed you . I was created for one reason and one reason only. The whole now know so to. I let you guys down and I let my dad down. How can I be the princess of peace when I cant even find peace in my own head. I'm done," I said tears started to pour out my eyes. " IF i was the bad guy you would of won. Your powerful and just because its hard your going to pack up then Your not who I thought you were " he scoffed. " I almost kill you and maybe next time I will. I care about you too much for that to happen" I cried. I started to turn away. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me agaisnt him. " I know you wont. You stop because your good and you over came it. we just have to work on it. Please stay if not for yourself then the million you could save with that power. " I dont know how I stopped myself. All I remeber is blacking out and then waking to see me almost killing youself." I explain. " I said something to you and then you just snapped out of it" He said nervously . " Oh well what did you say" I asked. This could help me find the answer. " I told you I Love you" He blushed. This was a side of him I never seen before. I think im falling to. Todoroki was important to me but in the end bakugou been here. I wasnt sure if I was ready to say it back. I grabbed his face and kiss him. He started kissing back first it was soft but then its starts to get more rough and passionate. He grabbed my ass and pulled me agaisnt him. despite the freezing rain , I felt warm. He pulled away but remain eye contact with me as he pulled something out of his of his jacket. It was a small box and he handed it to me. " I wanted to give this to you when I ask you out after I won the festival correctly . That didn't go as I plan but I still want to win your heart. please accept this and be my girl. I never done this soft shit and I'm sorry if it not something I'm going to show everyday. Your worth taking my pride down a little I guess" His face was red. I open it up and it was a sliver bracelet with his name on it and diamonds. It was beautiful and way too much. I had no idea what to say. " Yes Ill be yours" he pulled me into a tight hug. " lets go to my place you need to get out of the rain and getting late" he said gently. It almost scared me the way he was being so kind. Bakugou POV We arrived at my place. She look like she was about to past out. Today was a lot on all of us. I didn't really won the sports festival but at least I won the girl. I just got to keep that damn icy hot away from her. I wanted to rip the necklace off of her that he gave her. She mine now. " Hey you stupid bitch your late" my mom bitch. No good job bakugou or nothing. " Fuck you too hoe" I said back flipping her off. She was about to really yell, until she saw Y/n come in after me. " Hey Y/n nice to see you again. I saw you tonight you should of just kill him and not worry about it' she laugh. The fucking old hag meant as a joke. Y/n face turn white though. I grabbed her hand and lead her up to my bedroom. She seem like she was still half in a daze. " Lets get out of these wet clothes. You can wear anything of mine for now." I said awkwardly. I knew we were dating but I didn't know her boundaries . There so much I want to do with her. She needed sleep tonight though. we both did. she started to strip off in my room. Oh, she wasn't paying attention to anything really. I couldn't help but to watch in amazement though. She took off her clothes and strip down till she was naked. I had to use all my self control to not do anything. then she put on one of my T-shirts that looked like a dress on her and then a pair of my boxers. I strip down to nothing and but my boxers and laid on my bed. " come here princess" I yawned. She crawled into bed and laid on top of me. She feel asleep instantly but then here phone started going off. I Pick it up and looks at it. Deku: hey are you alright. Me and your dad are really worried. Damn deku fucking worrying about my girl. I didn't want to give her a dad the pro hero a reason to hate me though. Me: yeah I'm fine just staying at a friend house. I'm really sleepy so I'm going to go to bed. Then there was other messages on the screen so I looked. Todo: hey Y/n I'm so worried about you. When you see this please answer and I was wondering if we could meet up tomorrow to talk about today and I have something I wanna ask you. I hope your safe and sleeping well beautiful. Oh hell no. She mine and he going to back the fuck off. I took a pictures of her sleeping on my chest and I sent it. Me: she mine and she sleeping fine thank you. Back the fuck off she mine now!!!!!! Todo: I see for now that may be it. I don't give up and I especially wont stop until she mine. You well slip and when you do ill be there for her. Your impulsive and abusive and don't deserve her. Me: You come any where near her your dead I blocked his number from her phone. I wrapped my arms tight around her and I pass out. The sun filled the room waking me up. She was still asleep. She was so beautiful and peaceful when she sleep. Her phone started buzzing causing her to wake. " Where my phone" she sat up straight looking for it. I handed it to her. The number didn't have a caller id. She scrunch her nose in confusion. " Hello who is this " she answered. " Todoroki, are you alright?" I heard him answered. Great rich boy has more then one phone. " Yes, what happen to your old phone number?" " Long story, where are you at?" " Bakugou house, why whats wrong?" she asked worriedly " Ill be there In 20" he said and then hung up. " Do you have anything else I can where by chance?" she asked " I think you look fine in that Idiot" I snorted grabbing her wait. " I cant go out like this" she said digging though the bag of mina and kiri clothes that they leave here. " Your not going anywhere with him and no way in hell wearing that" She hold up a short pink dress of mina. Mina was shorter then Y/n so this dress was gonna not cover anything. She took off my shirt and put on the dress anyways not listening to me at all. She grabbed my hair brush and tied it back out her face. she look stunning even though she didn't try and its for him. " I fucking mean it your not going anywhere with him" I yelled. " Chill out you have to trust me. He one of my friends and I'm yours so don't worry" she said try reassuring me. I almost lost her to him though. He going to try all Kinds of flirty shit. I cant be okay with this but I have too. She will leave if I'm too controlling. " One hour then come back" I grumbled. " I have to go home afterwards and talk to my dad" She sigh. She was right even though I wanted some time with her. The door bell ring and I hurried up to open it. IT was half and half baster. " Leave your hands off of her and no flirty shit or I will Murder you" I screamed and then Y/n push me put of the way. I grabbed her and kiss her so fucking hard in front of him. She push me away and laughed. " I'm sorry about him" she said. Walking out of the door with him. I kept trying to talk myself out of following them. I decided to invite shitty hair over to distract me.

IM open up to ideas and or request for my one shot books I'm doing. Thank you for read part 7 will be here Thursday at the latest

#bakougu #bhna #katsuki bakugou x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #bnha shoto todoroki #bakugou x reader #izuku midoria x reader #midoriya izuku #dekubaku #allmight daughter #almight #smut #fluff #angst #lovetriangle #jelouse katsuki

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princechickennugget · 4 years

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Honestly this post has been a huge debate of mine for the past couple of years

I used to be such a huge advocate in the LGBTQ community whenever I’d first come out as bisexual, then gay, and then transgender all together in the steps of figuring out who I was meant to be from childhood, through high school, and then into my adult years.

I’m a straight transgender male.

Around a year or so into my transition - I took everything down, deleted all of social media from a wide follow base/one of the higher advocates in the transgender community, and began to live my life completely stealth. I had to. I could pass well enough and was far enough to do it unless someone who knew me outted me.

The bitter truth of it all is.. people will harm you for being transgender. They will rape you to make a “man” out of you. They will cold heartily beat you to death.

I’d switched jobs (a job I’d worked at for about 2-3 years) due to the fact of being harassed by coworkers, degraded, questioned on inappropriate things, and just overall I felt like I couldn’t even go into work without someone harassing me or fearing my life.

What made me leave is whenever I became the overall discussion of town and a customer physically attacked me. I couldn’t go into bathrooms without being terrified of being raped or beat to death literally just for needing the restroom.

I’ve struggled a lot with mental health. I’ve come from a very rough childhood where there was a lot of abuse. Physically, emotionally, and just things that were out of our hands as children.

I’ve held my silence in every “me too” movement. I never hated my body because I was transgender, I LOVED myself as a girl - I just never was who I was meant to be. I felt things that normal people just didn’t feel and never knew what it was. That’s why I struggled so much with figuring out if I were gay, or I was supposed to like guys because it’s the “normal” thing to do - meanwhile I wanted to be the guy. I remember asking my mom in third grade to cut my hair like a boy and I’d cry because I couldn’t stand to pee like my brother. I was pushed in stalls and beat by kids for having my hair short and dressing like a “tomboy”

Overall, I genuinely didn’t understand why I couldn’t just do these things.

I hated my body because of the innocence that was robbed from me for years. No one knows because you’re terrified and that’s where silence comes into play for years at a time. Ive never told anyone and this part takes my whole body to write out. So sadly, Me Too.

Being transgender ruins friendships, family, and job opportunities more than you would ever believe.

I’ve been shunned in the family, lost good friends, hidden in almost every single relationship because they were either scared of what their parents thought or what other people thought of me, and I’ve lost out on some good job opportunities just for being transgender once they found out - I guess from running my background with my social/ or I why I don’t go by Shelby as my legal name. It’s a VERY lengthy hard process especially in Louisiana to change everything.

I won’t ramble too much anymore but -

In the end to the people who are reading this, thank you so much for your support and love. Thank you for your patience and understanding. Thank you for loving me for ME and building friendships without further questioning me.

To my girlfriend, you are everything that I’ve needed as for as stability, love, and patience. The first person to actually let me meet their parents and to stand by my side and to show how proud she is to stand along side of me through this life with me.

Thank you to my massage school for changing my name in the graduation walk to make me feel welcomed without asking

Thank you to my parents who have struggled to accept but are working day by day to understand. Now that I’m older, your love has run in a higher measure. I understand that sometimes we don’t ask for the things to happen the way that they did but you’ve tried everything that you could have to make us have a better life apart from the marriage and I forgive you.

Thank you to my work. Walmart has made me feel so comfortable, welcome, given me tremendous opportunities to show my knowledge, and overall I have met so many wonderful people who will be lifelong friends. It’s not a job that I walk into anymore, it’s my second place where I call home. I love my TEAM.

Don’t let people ever try to take credit for the path you’ve made yourself.

If you’re depressed/suicidal/have anxiety, this is a sign I promise it gets better. You will make it through this.

You are LOVED.

I forgot what it’s like to be proud of myself and I AM SO PROUD OF WHO I AM.

It’s terrifying writing this to welcome the world back into, but it’s also being truthful to myself.

You can share for the ones who are struggling & remember to be kind to one another please.

Especially with everything going on in the world - it’s a fear to be alive in the BLM movement for our brothers and sisters that are fighting right now.

You fought for our movement and we will continue to STAND AND FIGHT WITH YOU EVERYDAY. human is human. Skin to Skin we show our truth how Love is Love.

I am SAGE and this is my TRUTH.

Thank you for reading 🤍

#love #transgender #ftm #lgbt #photography #gay #lesbian #girls who like girls #depression #gay pride #pride month #advice #support

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blahblahwritings · 4 years

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Contracts and Captains. - IV

A/N: Remember how I posted something before one of my other fics saying that I had been consistently updating for weeks? Neither do I lmao who was she? Don’t know her anyway heres the fourth chapter of this black sails fic.

Words: 1823. Honestly I’ve been writing this since about 12pm I don’t know how its so short and its probably shit bc I haven’t written anything in months.

Warnings: Mentions of vomit as per the last chapter. Think thats it lmao. See you in three months.

As your eyes opened, there were a blissful couple of seconds where the previous night’s encounter didn’t exist in your memory. But, just like the sun flooding the room, unwanted flashes of vomit and slurred words rose like a tidal wave in your minds eye. You rolled over, burying your face and groaning into the pillow out of sheer embarrassment as a dull throbbing started in the depths of your skull.

Why did you keep drinking? You could’ve simply had one or two before retiring for the night and you wouldn’t have met that boatswain or thrown up on your own boots. What was his name again? Ben? Boyd? No, they weren’t quite right. Either way you made a mental note to apologise again whenever you next saw him.

Slowly, you tugged your still clothed limbs from the thin sheets, trying not to jostle your stomach too much for fear of whatever was left in there making an unwelcome appearance. Your pants were scuffed from where you took a tumble outside the tavern, your shirt was half undone, probably from a failed attempt to undress before not-so-gracefully falling into bed. A single boot was thrown on the floor alongside your coat, the other still stuck on your foot. What a mess.

A hot bath, that's what you needed, and a hearty breakfast if your insides don’t bring it back up. Pulling on the other boot, you made your way to one of the girls working downstairs, trading her coin to fill the tub in your room. You must’ve looked rough as you passed her to get to the man at the bar because when he turned to look at you, his brows shot up, disappearing behind his hair.

“You look like you could use a little hair of the dog, love.” He chuckled, eyes scanning your disheveled form. A grimace was your immediate response. “Some food then.” He offered, filling a bowl with something that you didn’t stop to look at as you practically inhaled it. The man watched you with a knowing smirk and had you not felt so terrible you’d have spat out a snarky comment. You chose to gulp down your water instead.

“Thank you.” You huffed with a small nod, tossing some money on the counter before you headed back upstairs. The state you were in just added to this morning's growing list of regrets but you weren’t quite sure if you cared how you looked to anyone else right now. All that was on your mind was a piercing headache and a good soak.

Stripping off, you stepped into the water, sinking down slowly as your body got used to the heat. Finally, with a heavy sigh, you rested your head on the back of the tub, your aching muscles beginning to relax. Scented oils and soaps were left on a stand by the bath. Working a generous amount between your palms, you massaged your limbs and torso getting rid of any tension and purging the memories of last night’s… festivities. In the quiet of your room, you took a moment to trace the small scars that littered your form, fingers landing at last on the freshly healed knife wound from only a few weeks ago. The soft pink flesh was still tender, and if you moved the wrong way it would ache. It was dangerous to be alone on this island, in this line of work. You needed friends, not just contacts. A crew, perhaps.

Letting your mind wander, you thought about your new found place among Flint’s men. You had to keep bringing in leads to be of any value to him, lest you risk being tossed aside and left in the dirt. He and his crew were among the most revered on the island, therefore cementing your part in that would bring security. It would ensure that other crews would leave you alone, as you were important to someone they feared and the consequences of harming you could be severe.

Then again, there was a little more than security on your list of perks as you thought more about the taller man from last night. He was kind to you, not that the others weren’t having bought your drinks and all, but, he made sure you were safe and fed. Billy Bones. You recalled. Replaying the meeting in your head, you winced at the slurred introduction and the puking soon after. Why did you care about how he saw you? Was it because he was the crew’s boatswain or because he was handsome and softer than most pirates you’d met.

Catching that last thought, you shook it from your head, refusing to let it take root in your brain. Attachments like that are a weakness here and you cannot afford to have those. You’d only met the guy once and he probably didn’t want anything to do with you anyway, especially after that drunken show you gave him. Cupping a handful of water, you splashed your face, scrubbing any further thoughts of the man from your head, instead, choosing to focus on finding a new lead for Flint.

They would be leaving to chase down the details you gave him yesterday in a couple of days, if not sooner, which meant you probably had around two weeks to find something of substance upon their return. You’d struggled last time but after sending out letters to old friends in neighbouring ports, you were hopeful something would turn up.

Padding your way to the dresser, you pulled out some fresh clothes and got ready, feeling much better than you did even an hour before. The food had settled your stomach and the water you guzzled seemed to bring some life back into your face as when you left to go hunt down some work, the barman from earlier spouted something along the lines of ‘A whole other woman’ when you walked by.

---

An uneventful morning led to an uneventful afternoon. There were no new letters or leads and the streets were pleasantly calm compared to usual. You certainly weren’t complaining, you had been feeling better since this morning but your body was still recovering. The easy day was probably just what you needed. You were sat on the beach, sipping some water and watching passersby as you sketched in the journal you kept.

It was something you’d taken to keeping since arriving in Nassau just over two years ago. A small leather book to help keep track of potential jobs and record anything interesting that happened. Really, though, you just loved to draw. You’d already filled a couple just like it with sketches of people, ships and landscapes that caught your eye, often accompanied by your messy scrawl. You were just about satisfied with your latest addition when Mr Gates clapped you on the shoulder making you jump and slam the journal closed. You’d never shown anyone the contents before.

“Sorry, Miss Devereux, didn’t mean to startle you.” He began, chuckling lightly at your reaction. “I heard you and the lads had quite the night..” He moved to stand by you as you got to your feet, dusting the sand from your pants. Tucking away the book, an amused smirk finds its way to your face as you look at him.

“Depends on who you ask.” You replied. “How were they this morning? Feeling sorry for themselves?” Your brows raised in question as you both started aimlessly wandering along the shore. A snort met your ears as his head fell forwards, looking at the ground then back at you. “I didn’t see the majority of them until at least noon and they were still in a sorry state, although I wonder how you must’ve been. I heard that you hurled your guts up right after meeting our boatswain.” Gates mused, eyes crinkling as he watched your entire face turn a lovely shade of red. You tried to keep your cool but your expression faltered into one of sheer embarrassment. Apparently, this was hilarious as Mr Gates exploded into a fit of hearty laughter, and as much as you told him to stop you couldn’t help but have a good chuckle yourself as you covered your face with a half-sandy palm at the thought.

When you both regain your composure, he gives you a reassuring pat on the back.

“Don’t worry, the only people who know are Billy and myself, the men still think you can hold your drink.” He winked. You made a move to argue that you could in fact hold your drink but he began talking about the plan to set sail the day after tomorrow. You listened intently and explained that you were awaiting correspondence from friends in other ports to supply more promising leads upon their return.

---

It had been four days since the crew left in search of another haul using your most recent information. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened, you’d made some money here and there through smaller jobs and pickpocketing but overall, there was nothing of real interest. You spent the days reading anything you could get your hands on or drawing and you’d even had your eye on some paints in one of the markets, but all you could do was wait. Checking for mail at the front desk of the inn you were staying at every morning had become a routine, desperate for any work or ships that you could relay to Flint. It was on the fifth day that you had gotten a response from someone in Port Royal.

As you read over the letter for the third time, you could feel your eyes widen in disbelief, your heart hammered in your chest and you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. This was far too good to be true. Surely this was a myth. A prize of this magnitude was simply unheard of. Your eyes scanned over the paper again, barely able to focus on the words because your hands were trembling so violently. Calm down. You told yourself. It can’t be the truth. You thought as you stared at the other envelope that had arrived alongside it. At the bottom of the letter it read:

“P.S

Should you doubt my information, I sent you the correspondence shared between the dead man and the merchant with evidence pertaining to this gold. Best not ask how it came into my possession.

Your dear friend,

Josiah.”

You ran to shut the windows to your room and close the drapes. If anyone found out you had this information and the evidence to go with it, you would surely be killed for it. Tearing open the paper, you unfolded its contents. It was all here. The initials of the merchant, R.P., details alluding to the existence of this gold and the name of the dead man involved in plotting the course it would be on.

Vasquez.

#Black Sails #black sails imagine #Billy Bones #billy bones x reader #multi chapter #Captain Flint #mr gates

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maarmendes · 4 years

Photo

Chapter 9: Sports Festival [IV]

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, mental illness... (the main characters are kinda feral).

Genre: OC insertion; angst; fluff.

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x OC [Anahita Shuzenji]

Word Count: 1632

Tags: @bnhabookclub

[Wattpad Link]

Song: Middle Finger - Bohnes

Bakugo stepped into the arena to face Todoroki. Present Mic wasted no time announcing the beginning of the match, both boys jumping into action. Ice formed around the arena being blown away by explosions seconds later. Both boys were relentless, never giving their opponent an opening. I could hear Bakugo's incoherent screams from the bleachers and I could see the rage in his eyes but I didn't understand. When Aizawa pointed out Todoroki using only half of his power, Bakugo blew up. Literally. His screams echoed around the stadium as he urged his opponent to fight him full force. That's when Midoriya yelled out, willing Todoroki to fight.

I couldn't take my eyes off Bakugo even if I wanted to. I knew he was good, I'd seen him fight before, but I had no idea he'd be this extraordinary. A feeling of pride grew inside me as I watched my friend give it his all, blasting and flying all around the arena. But his opponent didn't. Todoroki caved in mid-fight. I couldn't avoid joining Midoriya and yelling out for him to keep on fighting. Bakugo was having none of it too as he charged and launched his ultimate move onto Todoroki. It was enough to throw his opponent off the arena and guarantee his victory. I watched in awe as the boy stomped towards his fellow student and grabbed his unconscious body off the floor. I sighed into a facepalm, knowing exactly what was going to happen. Midnight wasted no time knocking Bakugo out and announcing his victory. There was no surprise in that. What surprised me most was watching Bakugo being treated like a feral beast as he rose into his rightful place as number one.

We were all standing on the field for the award ceremony. Everyone seemed happy that our class took over the podium but I couldn't take my eyes off of him, but this time I wasn't captivated. Saying I was furious seeing the treatment they provided my partner was an understatement. The media kept filming and photographing an enraged boy fighting against his restraints like an animal, but that wasn't Bakugo. He wasn't like that. Not always at least. He was smart and hard-working, he wasn't an animal! Something snapped in me when All Might took his muffle off and Bakugo started yelling at the number one hero. He didn't even try to improve his situation. I felt my eye twitch. I couldn't keep watching that idiot taint his reputation any further.

"Shut the fuck up, grenades for brains!" I yelled out filled with anger. Everyone froze and turned to me. Even Bakugo peeked down as I made my way towards him. "You're standing on a big ass platform with the number one on it. Whatever the fuck you consider a fair win or not doesn't matter now! You're gonna shut that dirty mouth of yours and accept the fucking medal or I swear to everything mighty I will beat you up, Katsuki."

Bakugo glared at me, his face still filled with rage as I slid the medal around his neck. But he soon recovered. The boy ignored my threats as he kept complaining in full volume, yelling about honor or whatever his idea of a noble victory was. This boy was pushing all the right buttons and fuelling my lousy mental state. As soon as I heard him yell out something about me running off to the imaginary boyfriend he thought I had, I snapped again. I slapped my hands against his cheeks as hard as I could bring myself to, as I grabbed his face to stop him from struggling to no avail. Anger boiled inside me from his stupid monologue, I couldn't take it anymore. I got on my toes and slammed my lips onto his and finally shutting that brat up. Activating my quirk I drained most of his energy until he was too tired to keep complaining. When I pulled away his resolve had died down and his glazed over eyes looked down at me.

"Shut up. Stop being a brat. And maybe smile a little?"

I patted his shoulder in what seemed to be a playful way but he knew the truth behind my fake smile. The look on his face had softened so I took that as a good sign and unshackled him. I gave him one last look so he'd behave and left the stage, allowing a dumbfounded All Might to continue his speech. I could feel the crowd gaping at me and whispering. I took this as an opportunity to make a grand exit and hide in the infirmary until it was time to leave.

Truth be told, I knew Bakugo just wanted to do good by me. I hated to think about what I made him go through the past couple of days, but I did give Bakugo quite the scare, twice already, and I knew he just wanted me to feel better. And he did. I just hoped he wasn't angry at what I did. I couldn't keep watching him being like that when I knew how amazing he really was. That's why I had to tire him out. Using my quirk. On his lips. To shut him up obviously. There was no other way. That's why I did it. On the lips.

He's gonna kill me.

I felt my cheeks heat up and shook my head before I could get into an overthinking spiral. I was mumbling the lyrics to some song to get him out of my head when the door slammed open. I didn't need to look to know who it was. I kept my feet up on the desk, smirking to myself, as I called out.

"What's up, Blasty? Feeling better?"

A black bag slammed down onto the desk in front of me. A very familiar black bag. My black bag filled with my vigilante costume and weapons and very incriminating evidence against me. I look up to see Aizawa's red glare burning into me.

"Where did you get this?" My voice cracked as I watch him get gradually more infuriated.

"Don't play me for a fool, Anahita! Stupidity doesn't suit you." He paced from side to side. "I was hoping you'd at least feign ignorance. I can't believe you've done this... AGAIN! Again, Anahita?! You nearly DIED, and you get back on the streets? Unbelievable." I watched him sit on one of the beds and bend down as if the weight of the world fell on his shoulders.

"Shouta... It's not like that! I was just scouting and getting information, there was no fighting involved!"

"BULLSHIT!" I jumped. I had never heard his voice this rough. "There were cameras in the ally, Ana. You were caught fighting two armed villains who had been following you from the station that stupid bag was in! I can't believe you were this stupid." I got up and tried reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder but he swatted it away. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare feel guilty! You had your chance, Anahita. Now you've made it clear you regret nothing!"

Aizawa got up and glared down at me. My chest was filled with dread. His face looked angry but his eyes told a different story. They were filled with pain, disappointment, loath... The last time I saw this look in his eyes I was lying bleeding in some ally I had destroyed. I could recall as clear as day the words that flowed out of his mouth that night.

I'm so sorry... I couldn't keep you safe...

"Shou! It's not like that! I know it was wrong and I'll never ever do it again. I learned my lesson that day."

"Why? Because you dragged Katsuki Bakugo into it?"

"W-What? That's... It's not-" I stuttered

"That's right... Every time you put yourself in the face of danger, you drag down the people you care about with you. First, it was me. Now, it's Bakugo. Who's next? Your grandmother? Shinso? Or maybe third time's the charm..." He trailed off and I couldn't face him any longer. I bowed my head down in shame as I got reprimanded. I knew he was right. I dragged Bakugo into one of my stupid plans and now he might go down with me.

That's when it hit me. Bakugo was the only one who knew what had happened. He knew about the locker, my bag, the fight... I refused to believe it, but the facts spoke for themselves. He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't sell me out like that... But we were the only ones who knew what happened and we were the only ones there. I couldn't believe it, but I had to.

Bakugo sold me out.

Something cold spread inside me. A familiar numbness settled inside me as I felt my body go cold. It felt like an imaginary door closed the moment I realized my only friend was no more. One of the only people I trusted and he'd betrayed me. The moment Aizawa got that bag, I had lost my only real friend.

I remained silent as Aizawa recited my punishment. Starting right that moment I'd be moving in with him and I wasn't allowed to leave his sight outside of school. That meant spending every waking minute with him from morning until dawn, missions included. That lifted my spirits a bit until he stated he had intentions of making every minute of my day into hell. And, the most surprising punishment of all, no more Bakugo. No more going out. No more bodyguard. No more getting others into trouble. From now on it'd be just me and Aizawa and whatever his idea of a hellish training was.

[MASTERLIST] // [NEXT CHAPTER]

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nosleepstillweak · 4 years

Text

slushie

It’s long after visiting hours when Vivian finally finds the time to get to the hospital. She carefully parks on the side wing and swiftly walks around the building to the entrance closest to her destination. The lobby has been darkened for the graveyard shift, softly backlit by the white hall lights. There’s a nurse at the desk but Vivian recognizes the woman immediately as Nurse Jessica, the only one who allows her to come in after closing. The nurse smiles softly and points down the hallway, Vivian following her directions to a small room at the end. The young woman creeps through the semi-open door and gently closes it behind her. She finally breathes out a sigh of relief. “Hey, Matthew.”

“Vivi.” The word is barely audible underneath the swell of air from the oxygen mask.

“Yes, baby, it’s me.” The bedside chair gently scrapes against the floor as Vivian takes a seat, leaning forward to kiss her boyfriend’s cheek. “How are you feeling?” The question is a pleasantry more than anything; they can both attest to the fact that it’s been a rough couple of days. Still, Matthew shakily lifts his hand and makes a so-so motion. The IV connected to his arm sways with the movement.

“Well,” Vivian moves her hand up to brush some hair away from his eyes, “I have some news that might cheer you up. I was told you moved up another spot on the transplant list.”

There’s a beat of silence where Matthew just stares at her, processing her words. Any step towards reaching a donor is monumentous--they’ve been waiting for two months to even come close--but the implications of someone else dropping off the list… Vivian just prays every time that it’s not him next. Matthew seems to realize this, too, and does his best to at least feign optimism. This time, he lets her take his hand and they cling to each other’s fingers. Vivian tiredly smiles at the sight.

“More good news: I got a new job. Remember that old convenience store we used to have dates at?”

“S-Slushies…” Even in his drug-addled state, Matthew’s eyes still glitter with childlike amusement; he’s always had a hell of a sweet tooth.

“Yup, the slushie maker is still working like a charm.” She leans in closer for a stage whisper. “I’ll try to sneak one in for you the next time Nurse Jessica goes on break.”

“I heard that! And I dare you to try!” The hiss from the other side of the door forces a laugh out of Vivian. Matthew can’t quite do the same, but he does manage a dopey grin underneath the clear mask on his face. They smile at one another and further intertwine their fingers together. The heart monitor in the corner of the room continues to beep, strong and steady; the monotonous sound comforts them both.

***

“Thank you, and have a great day!” The smile that graces Vivian’s face fades the instant the final customer retreats from the store. “...bitch. Good riddance.” It’s the end of her first of two shifts and she’s already fed up with unruly customers and nosy coworkers. Maybe working at the convenience store wasn’t the best idea.

“You smell interesting today.” Speaking of nosy coworkers.

“Uh… thanks, Tim? Kinda weird way to greet someone, but to each their own.”

He taps his chin as if deep in thought. “It’s something familiar, but I can’t place it.”

Vivian snorts as she restocks a stack of cups. “Like weed?”

Tim snaps in mock epiphany. “Like antiseptic.”

“...Just a new perfume I’m trying.”

“Try harder. How’s your boy Matthew doing?”

He picks at the scab and it lifts. “He’s fine. Can we talk about something else?”

“‘He’s fine’? Oh, yeah, that’s convincing.”

“Whatever happened to keeping work and home separate?” Vivian hates to raise her voice, but talking about her dying boyfriend to a near-stranger isn’t exactly her ideal workday. “Just mind your own business and I’ll mind mine.”

“Hey, I was just trying to be helpful.” Tim holds his hands up in surrender.

“Well, you’re doing a bad job.” She frustratedly smushes more cups into the machine before sighing in exasperation. “Now, if you’re done with the interrogation, let’s go take a smoke break before the next shift.”

***

“Vivian! You’re home late.” The last person that Vivian hopes will catch her sneaking into her apartment building at one in the morning is her landlady. Then again, few things have been going her way these past few days.

“Oh! Hi, Mrs., uh, Goo… Gow… uh, G-Go?”

“Tsk, all these months, and you still can’t pronounce it,” the older woman admonishes playfully. "Just say ‘goo-oh’."

"’Goo-oh’. Cool. Is that actually how you pronounce it?"

"No." Mrs. Guo grins jokingly and Vivian can’t help but smile back. The two make casual conversation as they work their way up the staircase together.

“Oh, how’s that handsome boyfriend of yours? Marcus, was it?”

Vivian almost misses a step. “It’s Matthew. And he’s fine.”

“Good, good! You should bring him over again so I can fatten him up. He looked so thin!”

“Yeah, I’ll bring it up with him.” The younger woman clears her throat awkwardly. “Anyways, I know I was a little short on rent last month, but I just got a new job. Just know I’m working on it.”

“Ah, yes, the same ‘work’ that sends you home reeking of cannabis every night.” The older way laughs heartily at the fiery blush that appears on Vivian’s face. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I was adventurous when I was younger, too.”

“You’re the best, Mrs. G. I’ll get you the remainder on rent by the end of the week!”

“Mhm. Just say hi to Matthew for me!”

***

“My landlady says hi.” Vivian traces her finger along the outside of the IV port in her boyfriend’s arm.

“Well, hiya, Vivi’s landlady!” The hospital bed rattles as Matthew flails his free hand dramatically, waving at the wall as if it was a person. Vivian can’t suppress a laugh at his goofy smile and childlike theatrics.

“Wow, you’re awfully energetic. Anything to report?”

He just shrugs, sobering down to a small grin. “I got off oxygen today and they eased up on my meds. It’s nice to be, like, actually coherent for once.”

“No more oxygen mask? So I can do this.” Without a second thought, Vivian leans forward to place a kiss on his lips. Matthew immediately grabs at her waist and pulls her closer, reciprocating the gesture with a surprising amount of fervor. Pure instinct has Vivian pressing down on his thigh to push further herself towards him, but then he lets out a small grunt of discomfort and she jerks away.

“Did I hurt you? Are you in pain?”

“No.” The lie dissolves under Vivian’s glare. “I’m just sore. It’s manageable.”

“Sore? Matthew, you need to be on meds if you’re hurting.”

“The meds make me feel awful. It’s fine, babe, I swear.” He pouts childishly and playfully lunges out to hold her hands, but his expression darkens when Vivian recoils from his touch.

“It’s most definitely not fine! It’s destructive and inhibits your own recovery. You can’t keep living like this--”

“Okay, yes, Vivi, you’re right. I can’t keep living like this!” Matthew practically snarls as his voice rises in time with the tempo of the heart monitor. “I’m drugged to hell and back for most of the day, I can’t feed myself, I can’t walk around. My parents won’t even visit me anymore because they’re scared to see me like this!”

“None of that is your fault.” Vivian hates the way her voice cracks halfway through the sentence. “That’s not a reason to avoid your meds.”

“You probably hate me, like this. I’m so weak and pitiful and an awful boyfriend.”

“What? No, Matthew, that’s not true at all.”

“Yeah, sure. News flash, Vivian,” the word spits out like acid, despite the tears clearly flooding to his eyes, “I hate myself like this, too! Genuinely, I’m sorry that I can’t be stronger for you. I’m so sorry.”

She feels like throwing up. “Matthew, please.”

“I can’t even--” He chokes mid-sentence, a hand suddenly shooting up to clutch at his chest. “I can’t e-even… I c-can’t…”

“Matthew?” He coughs violently into the crook of his arm, his body hunched over as pain rattles through him with each forceful exhale. Vivian gently pats his back, used to comforting him through his coughing fits, but she instantly pulls away when she sees that his inner arm comes away speckled red. It’s at that moment that the heart monitor careens to a high-pitched squeal and Matthew suddenly starts convulsing. “M-Matthew!”

Nurses immediately rush into the room. Strong hands guide her into the hallway and towards the hospital entrance, away from the deafening noise of the wailing heart monitor. Nurse Jessica grabs the sides of her face and tells her that everything is going to be okay. Vivian can barely comprehend the words. She won’t let herself cry; she can’t. Her head is still spinning from Matthew’s outburst, but there’s not much that she can do about it right now. At a loss, she bites down hard on her tongue, enough to taste the blood coating her teeth, before finally shoving her uniform visor over her head and starting towards her car.

***

“So,” Tim puffs out a ring of smoke before passing the blunt back to Vivian, “how’re things?”

“Look, I already know where this is going and I don’t feel like talking about Matthew tonight. We had a stupid fight this morning, and I’m just--”

“Alright, alright, that’s fine. No Matthew. How are you doing?”

The memory of Matthew’s prone body seizing against the hospital bed flashes in her mind. “Honestly? Kinda awful.”

“That’s probably warranted. Any life-threatening ailment that I should be worried about on your behalf?”

“Nah.” Vivian smiles sarcastically through another drag. “Nothing physical, anyways.”

“So, something mental?”

She just shrugs.

“That’s still problematic. Have you considered therapy? Maybe some counseling for now, until things settle down. I know a couple of guys, actually--”

“I’m not going to therapy.” Vivian quickly interrupts Tim’s rambling before he drawls on into a full-blown lecture. “My boyfriend is stuck in a hospital, toeing the line between life and death every day, and I’m supposed to complain about my circumstances? I think I’m okay.”

“Him going through a lot doesn’t invalidate your feelings, Vivian.”

“I think it kinda does, Tim.”

“You said you and Matthew had a fight? Maybe there’s just too much going on right now, for both of you.” The smoking bud gets squashed between Tim’s fingers as he wonders out loud. “Maybe you two need a break from each other.”

“God, shut up, Tim. We’re gonna figure it all out together, no break necessary.” Vivian’s face glows as she swiftly ignites another blunt, theatrically waving it in the air once it’s lit. “Plus, I’ve already got the best therapy that money can buy.”

***

The inevitable apology visit to the hospital happens after Vivian’s third shift in a row. She’s exhausted and more than a little embarrassed to put her pride aside, but the blue raspberry slushie in her hand burns like fire. Nurse Jessica is in the middle of painting an elderly woman’s fingernails, taking a moment to examine Vivian’s posture as she approaches. If she notices the apology slushie, she doesn’t mention or confiscate it.

“He was in a lot of pain earlier, but they maxed him out on meds and those knocked him out. Last I checked, he was still asleep.” She nods down the hallway with a sympathetic smile. Vivian thanks the nurse and slowly makes the walk of shame down to her boyfriend’s hospital room. Her mind is racing through different words to say. This isn’t the first time they’ve ever had a fight, not even since his initial diagnosis, but her earlier conversation with Tim has left a lot to think about.

“Matthew?” She whispers softly as she enters the dark room. Naturally, there’s no response. She sets the slushie down on the bedside table and sits down in a chair, taking one of his cold hands in hers and caressing it gently.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have gotten you so worked up.” The apology is a bit half-baked but, to her knowledge, it falls on deaf ears. She moves to stroke Matthew's hair until she notices that his whole body is trembling under the sheets. Vivian’s expression melts into horror when she also realizes that his eyes are wide open. Her gaze travels up to the near-empty IV bag hanging by his bed. There’s no way he should be awake with all the drugs currently in his system. Not unless...

“Matthew, are you still in pain right now?” It honestly doesn’t matter whether the hurt is physical or emotional; the single tear that rolls down his cheek is answer enough. Vivian shushes him softly and reaches forward to gingerly wrap her arms around him. His body is still trembling violently but Matthew leans into the hug as much as he can, his muted crying slowly dissolving into full-blown sobs. What pains Vivian most is that she can tell that each shuddery gasp only hurts him more. He weakly grasps at her work outfit and soaks the fabric with tears. The slushie beside them melts into juice.

They both cling to each other until Matthew’s breathing slowly evens out and he quietly dozes off. Vivian’s hands are shaking as she rests him back against the bed. She wearily pecks a kiss to his forehead before rushing out of the room, avoiding Nurse Jessica at the main entrance and breaking into a run in the parking lot. There’s a brief scuffle with the car door and then Vivian’s throwing herself into the driver’s seat. She wastes no time in ripping a blunt out of her purse and igniting it before taking drag after drag after drag. The finished stub falls into her lap within minutes, but the pain in her chest lingers for long after.

***

Two weeks later, Matthew finally gets matched with a donor. Apparently, the rapid deterioration of his already unfavorable condition was enough to finally convince someone that he was worth saving. The surgery is scheduled for the first week of September--another two weeks of waiting--and Matthew’s parents are even making the trip down to help him through his recovery. It’s already common knowledge that Vivian doesn’t have the best relationship with her boyfriend’s family; that makes their next conversation only slightly less painful.

“I think we should take a break.”

“A b-break?” Matthew wheezes out sluggishly. He has to pause every few words to suck in a breath, his chest barely expanding as his lungs struggle to get in enough air. The oxygen mask is back and he looks so much smaller in his hospital bed. Vivian would never say it out loud but the sight terrifies her.

“Yes. At least while you have your transplant surgery.”

“Are we... b-breaking up?”

“No, baby, not at all. I just can’t be here with you right now.”

“S-So you’ve been here... the whole t-time… but you’re leaving... at the f-finish line?”

Something in Vivian’s face twitches and she has to fight the urge to not pull out a blunt right then and there. “It’s not like that, Matthew. You know that.”

“You’re l-leaving me… all alone.”

“Your parents will still be here.”

“Oh, g-great... my p-parents.” He attempts to roll his eyes sarcastically, but he’s apparently too exhausted to do more than a slow blink. “Where w-will... you b-be?”

“Resting. Thinking.” Smoking. Well, probably not, since Tim’s been trying to get her to quit. “I’m actually moving in with a friend from work, so I won’t be alone. Don’t worry about me.”

Despite looking unconvinced, Matthew manages a weak nod. “O-Okay. But... you’ll be b-back? After the... s-surgery?”

“Yes. I promise.”

“Okay.” He nods again. “You p-promised. I t-trust you.”

“Thank you, Matthew. Please take care.”

“You t-too, Vivi.” He stares at her for a moment longer before he finally succumbs to the tide of exhaustion. Vivian watches the muscles in his face slowly relax, the small clouds of air steadily appearing and disappearing as he breathes into his mask. The heart monitor beeps normally in the corner. Only then does she let some of the tears fall; this time, she’s made sure that he’s not awake to see them.

***

“You’re moving out?” Vivian startles as she stacks another box outside of her room, whipping around to address her visitor.

“Oh, Mrs. Guo!” The older woman beams at the correct pronunciation of her name. “Yeah, I’m moving in with a friend on the other side of town. It’s just temporary.”

“Is it because you’re still low on cash? Don’t worry, dear, I can give you another month--”

“No, no, no!” Vivian shakes her head furiously. “I mean, yes, I am, but that’s not why. I would just rather not be alone right now. I’m in the process of getting some things in order.”

“Alrighty. Well, at least come over for dinner tonight.” Mrs. Guo is already retreating down the hallway to make preparations. “No Marcus necessary. It’ll be just us girls. How does that sound?”

Vivian barks out a laugh, not bothering to make a correction. “Yeah, I think I can do that.”

***

“I swear, Matthew, if I don’t get a call, I’m just gonna assume bad news.”

“I-I can’t guarantee a call, Vivi. And there w-won’t be bad news.”

“You can’t guarantee that, either.”

“Then come s-see me yourself.”

“Matthew, please, I’m sorry, but I can’t do that anymore. It’s not fair to either of us.”

“Is it b-because we’re s-still on a b-break?”

“Yes. Sorta. You have your parents, anyways.”

“I g-guess. I w-wish you were h-here, though.”

“I will be. Promise. I just need time.”

“Okay. I t-trust you. I have to g-go now.”

“You better call me, okay?”

“I’ll t-try. Please t-take care.”

“You better call me.”

“O-Okay. I love y-you, Vivian.”

“Yeah, yeah, me too. See you soon.”

***

It’s been a month since their last phone call, or conversation in general. Vivian replays the recorded snippet on her phone every day during her lunch break, wishing she had said more. She hopes the surgery went well. She hates that he hasn’t bothered to call yet. She hates even more that she hasn’t gone to see him herself. The empty promise floats through her mind, but she can’t imagine going to see him in whatever state he’s in. If there’s even someone there to see. She shivers at the thought.

“Vivian, I need two slushies, stat.”

“God, Tim, just do it yourself. I’m busy.” She moves to replay the audio again.

“Bro, you’re literally on your phone. Just come over here.”

“Dude, I said I’m busy.”

There’s a brief silence. “Well, I, uh, broke the slushie machine.”

“What!? How the hell did you break--!?” Vivian whirls around, ripping an earbud out as she prepares to rip into him. Instead, she runs directly into a different yet all-too-familiar face.

“Hey, Vivi.”

All she can do is stare. It’s definitely him. There are crutches leaning against his sides and his face is still much paler than she remembers from before the hospital, but the man standing in front of her is indeed her boyfriend. Vivian doesn’t even feel herself moving but she’s suddenly shooting towards his proffered embrace. Matthew holds her back with strong arms, a sigh of relief escaping as he melts into her touch.

“Gross. You smell like weed.”

“And you smell like antiseptic,” she quips.

“Talk about a weird way to greet someone.”

“Fuck off, Tim.” Vivian flips him the bird, but she makes a mental note to thank him later. She turns back towards her boyfriend. “So you’re alive.”

Matthews nods with a smile. “Surgery went well, physical therapy has been a breeze. I got discharged a couple of days ago. Clean bill of health.”

Vivian scowls and pulls away from the hug. “But you never bothered to call?”

He just shrugs. “Well, you never bothered to visit.”

Her heart instantly sinks with dread, the lump in her throat hardening painfully. “Oh, god, I’m so sorry, baby, I should’ve been there. I was just so worried, and scared, and I wasn’t strong enough to see you--”

“Hey, hey, hey, no apologizing.” A hand comes up to brush away a stray tear on her cheek. “Look, I’m not mad; I’m just worried about you.”

“God, this feels like watching a teen drama.”

“Fuck off, Tim.” This time, they both playfully flip him the bird. Matthew wraps his arms back around her and rests his chin on her shoulder, humming softly as he plants a small kiss on her ear.

“So, I’m assuming we’re not on a break anymore?”

Vivian manages a wet laugh through her tears. “No, Matthew, we’re not on a break anymore.”

“Cool. I’ve also been talking to Tim. I think you should stop smoking.”

“Okay, I will. For you.” She feels like she would do anything for him.

“And you should get some therapy.”

“Okay.”

A small voice chimes in from behind. “I’ve literally said, like, both of those things before--”

“For the last time: fuck off, Tim.”

Matthew chuckles. “Hey, Vivi, can we actually still get those slushies, too?”

“Okay.” Vivian squeezes her boyfriend one last time before pulling away and drinking in the sight of his healthy, beautiful face. “I love you so, so much, Matthew.”

His eyes shimmer with a hint of mischief. “Yeah, yeah, me too.”

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heartspac-e · 3 years

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2.8.2021 (christina)

omg this past week was crazy

classes/grad school - I got into this Natural Language Processing class that is at the same time as life group, but I was like oh I can just do it asynchronously. but wow this professor is confusing during his lectures. and he never mentions code or do any live demos but for the homeworks, we need to code everything from scratch and i can’t use any of the packages that I’m used to. such a pain the booty. im debating dropping it. it’s just hard catching up because i’m already a couple weeks late and the timing is just rough/always feeling behind, there’s not enough office hours, poorly structured class. anyways, that also made me rethink grad school as a whole. normally people go back to grad school because they know clearly what they want to get out of it so they take classes geared toward their interests but i’m just kinda here because this program was really convenient to get into and get out of the way and my parents were reallyyyy pushing it.. more on this later. i spent the entire weekend just staring at my assignment and listening to every indian man on youtube explain these concepts to me but im still so lost. i think i place a lot of worth on being able to “succeed” and always meet the goals and standards that others (parents) place on me and that I place on myself. but i need to remember that if i drop a class, it doesn’t mean i wasn’t smart enough for it or that im just generally incompetent lmao.

relationships - this guy from harvest told me he liked me. and i was shOCKED. we’ve been friends for a couple years but i never saw this coming. i wish i liked him like he’s an amazing guy. even my roommate was like smh he deserves better HAHA but i just feel so platonic about it. i’ve given it a week.. i’ll probably message him soon to tell him no.

parents - this week has revealed to me a lot of the hurts that i feel from my relationship with my parents. i know they want the best for me and i don’t wanna invalidate because i know it fully and feel it fully. BUT just because the things they do/say are always presented in the light that they want the best for me doesn’t mean that it isn’t sometimes kinda toxic or at least leads me to have toxic thoughts. im planning on taking freedom class to work through some of these things. but yea ive been trying to work on a better relationship with my parents so i thought i’d be more open about what’s going on in my life so i told them about the guy and they were SO adamant about me saying yes without even asking me about my thoughts first. and i was like bruh i’m gonna be the one dating him. not u. so pls chill. i think the things that they were saying just made me feel like they don’t see my worth and it’s like wow if you don’t say yes, no guy is ever gonna like u again and ur just gonna be single forever. i know that’s not true but yea still hurt by how they handled the news. also the way they handled when i told them about the class that im having a hard time in.. like i just wanna be happy and have a chill semester. and it feels like they have this mentality or imparted this mentality that if im not internally dying and stressed all the time that im not doing enough. and the past 7.5 years, i’ve just dealt with it because being a type 3 enneagram, meeting their expectations gave me a sense of accomplishment/success. but i wanna figure out what i want in life not just follow what they want for me. it’s such a common pattern and im so fed up. yea honestly the past couple days were pretty sad just thinking about these things.

spiritually - something im learning is that circumstantially, i can be struggling but that doesn’t necessarily mean i need to be struggling spiritually. im thankful right now coming out of the fast and being really disciplined with devos, i wanna continue that and i know and trust that God’s voice is different from my parents’ voices. That his love isn’t conditional on me meeting certain expectations or measures of success. I’m loved for who I am. for who He created me as. for who He’s been shaping me to be and continuing to shape me to be. as i’m growing, i want to know more of God’s word to be rooted in that and not find security in just doing what my parents think is the best. i want what i want in life to be aligned with what God wants for me no what others corner me into. even though i’ve technically made certain decisions about my future as of now in terms of career and grad school.. i trust that He still has so much more in store for me and i’m just gonna take it step by step and overthink about the future. like i dont see this as oh i’ve made it like this is what i’ve graduated college for but more as just a stepping stone.

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off-color-darkrai · 3 years

Text

So I wrote a Urban Fantasy/Self-Help fiction Novel- Chapter 4

Ima is having the worst time, Kriss isn’t doing much better, and it all just goes down from here...

The holiday has been... rough, which is why there’s such a time gap here, sorry

I don’t know how many people, if any, are reading this, or even like it

Please leave feedback

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Summary:

A story about inner strength, mental health, and finding the reasons behind even the worst circumstances. Kriss only wanted to stop the rumors, the lies that followed him into high school; he didn’t expect and innocent action to leave him twisting, falling, changing. Ima just wanted to do her duty, to live up to her family’s legacy, to keep everyone safe; she should have expected it all to slip through her fingers, to fail, for it all to go so horrifically wrong. Their worlds are shattered under the weight of something ancient, something dark, something inhuman, and neither of them know how to pick up the pieces. All they can ask is “why”? There has to be a reason; for the pain, for the suffering, for every broken shard of thought and memory, there has to be. But reasons aren’t always easy to accept, and even then the hurt doesn’t always fade away. It is a long path to fixing your mistakes, and a longer one toward acceptance, but they find that they don’t have to take it alone. Sometimes a curse can be a gift. Sometimes tears can be a blessing. Sometimes to win the day, to fix everything, salvation can be found in the strangest places.

Chapter IV:

The Brown was the most popular bar and grill in the entire downtown area. Good food, a great atmosphere, easily attainable prices, and a healthy night-life helped it stand out far from the competition, not that there was much of that. Open most days from 12:00 PM to 2:00 in the morning, 3:00 on the weekends and Fridays, it was rather popular with both locals and college students from a few cities over. It was always packed, with a line of people waiting to get in out front, and a delirious line of happy drunks loitering against the walls out in the back. The owner insisted that everything about his business always be in top working order, and even if it wasn’t, the doors would always be open at 12:00 on the dot. Right now it was after four, nearing the end of The Brown’s happy hour. As was custom, this was the time that the crowds outside the building were at their largest, and most restless, each person vying for a better spot in line as the other near-by businesses catered to the growing throng, drawing a profit off The Brown’s success.

Today, however, the entire block was silent. Businesses windows were dark, and The Brown’s doors were strangely closed, its crowds conspicuously absent. The news said there’d been a large, ruptured gas-main, flooding the area with gas that, while non-fatal, could cause some respiratory problems. People were to avoid the area, and the whole block, as well as the two next-door, had been shut down so a crew could come in and fix the pipe, as well as allow time for the gas to dissipate. The place seemed like a ghost town, the whistling of the breeze through the buildings the only sound that broke the silence. The absence of people on a street built with crowds of them in mind lent to the illusion, the vast empty space eerie without the hum of life.

Even the cars that usually parked along the street were gone, all except for a single, white workers van. It was parked as close to the curb as possible without being on the sidewalk, blocking the entrance to a service alley. The van had no logo on its side, and the front windows were tinted heavily, making it impossible to see into the cabin. Its back windows were tinted as well, the back doors closed tight. It looked abandoned, out of place almost.

On the other side of the vehicle, leaning against the nearest wall were a couple of men in pale blue-grey workers’ uniforms. They loitered side by side, one with his arms crossed, the other with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, their patched clothing not displaying any logos or symbols, much like the van. Neither of them seemed to want to show their eyes, the man on the left was wearing a pair of dark shades, and the man on the right had a faded ball-cap perched on his head, the brim pulled about as low as it could possibly go and still provide visibility. They were obviously the ones who were sent to repair the ruptured gas-main, but they didn’t seem inclined to do any work. They lacked any of the necessary tools, either on their belts or placed at their feet, and they weren’t making any moves to open the back of the van. They just stood there, looking about slowly, as if waiting for someone to appear. No one did, and the silence continued to stretch on, while both men stood there, unbothered, quietly scanning the area as they leaned against the brick wall behind them.

Suddenly, something changed. One of the men stiffened and put his hand to his ear, tapping the almost hidden device, as his friend’s hidden gaze turned to him. After a stretch of silence that was decidedly tenser than the one before, the first man gave a firm nod in answer to whatever message he was receiving.

“Yes, area’s all clear, we will be with you shortly sir.”

Whoever was on the other end of the line appeared to confirm as the connection was cut and the man lowered his hand. He looked at his companion, their eyes meeting briefly. Then both nodded and pushed off the wall, giving one last look around before ducking into the large alleyway on their left. The alley was wide, meant to allow delivery trucks and worker vans access to the closed-off area behind a near-by bookstore and a modest flower shop. The men walked down it quickly, keeping as close to the walls as possible, not at all bothered by the pair of dumpsters and the occasional pile of trash bags waiting for pickup. They simply stepped around them, avoiding the open center of the alley until they had reached a turn that obscured their view of the outer street. Now they entered a much shorter length of the alley, one leading to a sizable open area, shielded on all sides by towering buildings. What windows they could see were dark, just like the ones outside, and the one security camera that looked over the area hung down, turned off for the time being. A white van, the twin of the one parked at the alley entrance, came into view, its engine idling quietly, its doors flung wide open. The men had to pass it as they entered the open space, neither of them even bothering to look into the empty cabin, or at the young man sitting half in, half out of the back, who took the time to glance up at them from the computer in his lap. He continued to watch them as they moved away, heading for the middle of the area, where a man in dark clothes was standing with his back to them.

“Sir.” They both said as they reached the man, dipping their heads as a small show of respect.

The man turned to them, acknowledging them with a nod of his own.

“The street was clear when you left?” The man asked.

“Yes sir.” The first man answered. “All clear, not a soul in sight. They’re staying away just like the news told them. Should be back in a few hours at the least, tomorrow at the most, depending on when we send them the ‘all clear’.”

“Good.” The man in black responded, gesturing over at the young man in the back of the van. “We can have Jim continue watching through the street cameras, just to be safe, but otherwise I believe we are free to complete our job here.”

The two men in workers' clothes smirked with barely concealed triumph as they followed the man in black’s gaze toward the far end of the enclosed space.

The fifth and final member of their group stood there, dressed in black just like his leader, his shaggy face split in a grin much like his compatriots as he leaned his large form over a much smaller, crumpled heap at his feet. One booted foot came out and roughly nudged at the pile, earning a stifled noise that could have been a whimper, could have been words. He listened, his grin only getting wider as he looked up at the others, shrugging his shoulders a bit. His leader gestured with one hand, urging him to continue where he left off. The man’s thick fingers reached down, snagging a portion of what looked like torn clothing before hauling the entire mess into the air, earning another noise, this time one that sounded suspiciously like a swear word.

The group’s leader allowed his own smile to surface as he approached, but unlike the others, this one was cold, serpentine. He reached his underling and the strange heap he held, stopping just close enough that he could hold his arm out and touch it. This he did, slim fingers brushing ever so slightly, causing a feeble jerk of reaction, another whimper, but not much more. Victory, success, it was so close. His hands moved downward, and another, weaker, jerking reaction followed as he gently cupped his fingers and lifted.

Dulled green eyes, dark hair, a face, slightly obscured by blood, rendered unrecognizable by a myriad of cuts and rapidly forming black bruises. He knew there was more of the same, seen and unseen, decorating the rest of the thin body, all of it showing in the pained, weak movements that were steadily dwindling to a stop. Nothing was broken, yet, but the damage was still severe enough that he was vaguely surprised their captive was even still awake. All this over a lost little girl? He resisted a bitter laugh, after six long, tiring years this had been just way too easy. It was almost painfully so, and he had to wonder why it had taken so long in the first place.

Ah well, it was pointless to think about such things, especially since their mission had yet to be truly completed. Best to finish his task, and then ponder all that had led to it. With that in mind, he looked into those dull, pained eyes, the sharp shiver as their eyes locked not going unnoticed. He saw a shiver playing through the man holding her as well. Her natural defenses were still at work, but despite that, the grip on her didn’t loosen.

“None of that.” He muttered, tightening his own grip ever so slightly. “It will not work.” He looked deeply into her eyes, letting her see just how hopeless her situation was, willing her to stop trying to fight the inevitable. “You know how this ends, how it always ends, and you know what we want. We will get it, just so you know, whether you tell us or not. You are helping no one with your silence, not even yourself.”

The girl stared back at him, her eyes the only part of her face he could clearly see, and they were held in what he assumed was a glare. He false sighed—she was being uncooperative, but what else did he expect? She and her ilk always tried this. It never truly worked though; it just made things mildly more frustrating.

“Where are you hiding it?” He got to the point, no use in beating around the bush.

She didn’t answer as he pulled back a bit, glancing up at the man holding her.

“You checked her belongings?”

“Yes sir.” The man answered, gesturing at the green backpack laying a few feet away, contents were strewn along the ground, seams ripped open, revealing the insides. “We checked her current residence as well. Thoroughly. It wasn’t there. It has to be on her person, it’s the only place we haven’t checked.”

The Leader looked back at the girl, not looking at her face this time, his eyes roving along her beaten form, searching for any suitable hiding places. There was no one for her to pass it to this time, so she had to have it with her. A small glinting caught his eyes, hidden, dimmed by shadow, but still visible, hanging down around her neck. His free hand reached for it, his eyes meeting the girl’s for the briefest instant, catching the fear that flashed in their depths.

Bingo.

Looking away he snagged the long, thin, almost imperceptible chain that had caught his attention. He gripped it firmly, drawing it up until he could see the slightly heavy golden locket dangling from its end. He released the girl’s chin, allowing the trinket to rest in his now free palm.

He felt it as soon as it settled, the subtle humming of power vibrating through the locket’s thin enclosure. The object of their search, so long in eluding them, contained behind such a feeble barrier. Now he did laugh, a short, solid bark of laughter, before holding his free hand out behind him and snapping his fingers.

“The box.” He ordered, hearing a short scrabbling of movement before someone pressed it into his hands. He didn’t thank them as he brought it around, dropping the locket just long enough to unlock the small dull silver box he now held in his hands, and to pull on a set of gloves. Wouldn’t want to touch the thing by mistake, the results could be more than disastrous. With the gloves in place and the open box held in one hand, he scooped up the locket again, the harsh flinch accompanying his movements going unnoticed as he turned the trinket over, looking for the way to open it. After a few seconds of study, he turned it back to face him, his thumb running over the teardrop-shaped gem in the center before pressing down. There was a click as the lock released and the locket came open, letting its contents drop into the leader’s gloved palm.

The hum of power was so much stronger now; he could feel it as he peered at the object of their search. So much power, so much danger, from such a tiny thing, it was unbelievable. As carefully as possible he lifted it to the open box, slipping it inside before hurriedly shutting the lid, the box’s own heavy-duty locks clicking into place.

At that moment his smile became victorious. He held the box up, showing it to the others as he pulled off his gloves. They grinned with him, the one with the sunglasses actually started to chuckle as the Leader strolled over to the van and handed the box to Jim.

“Verify that.” He told him, earning a quick nod, as he turned back to the others.

“Mission success gentlemen.” He told them.

There was a small ‘Whoop!’ and a brief smattering of applause from those around him.

“The Boss’ll be real happy with that, Sir.” The man with the ball-cap said. “You’ll get a promotion for this, and definitely a raise in pay.”

“Yeah.” The man with the sun-glasses agreed. “You’re moving up Sir. Just hope you remember us a little when you reach the top.”

“You’ll have your reward gentlemen.” The Leader told them. “Just as our employer rewards our loyalty to him, so will I reward yours to me.”

Their smiles grew impossibly wider at this, and he took a second to watch before he turned to the man still holding the severely damaged girl. She was slumped over even as she was being held in the air; her injuries must have finally caught up with her. She was practically useless to them now, she’d given them all they needed, plus the little added bonus of that book they’d found among her belongings, she had no further purpose. She was disposable.

Then again, the Leader thought, there might still be a few secrets tucked away in that young mind of hers, something useful to them, to their employer. He was never one to waste an opportunity, even one that may be possibly nonexistent. It wouldn’t hurt to keep her alive, bring her back to base and glean whatever useful information she had from her brain, and once it was determined that she was of no use whatsoever, then they could dispose of her.

It was a good plan, he decided and left them a lot less ‘aftermath’ to hide. Not to mention the advantages of displaying such initiative could have on his own career. The Leader began to instruct the man holding the girl in what to do, to secure her for transport in some way, when he was suddenly interrupted by a shout from the van.

“Sir, there’s something wrong!” Jim called out, sounding panicked.

The Leader turned on his heel, any good mood he’d managed to get into evaporating, and marched over to where the startled young man looked like he was about to have a panic attack. Jim was relatively new to his team, considering his expertise was in the areas of digital tracking and other such things, he’d only been needed within the past year or so. He was definitely not as experienced as the others and tended to come running to his leader when that inexperience translated into stupid mistakes. A growl rose in the Leader’s throat in his throat as he wondered exactly how Jim could have screwed everything up now. All the rookie needed to do was run the box through the specialty equipment they’d brought, that was it, it was so impossibly simple!

“What?!” He barked, looking for the problem as Jim scrambled out of the van and over to him, holding out the box as he did so.

As soon as the Leader saw it his anger cooled instantly, shock making its way across his features as Jim rapidly passed the box to him, fortunately still sealed.

“I don’t know Sir! I was verifying the contents like you ordered me to when it suddenly started reacting!”

Jim looked terrified, to be honest, his whole body quivering with fear, and with good reason. Even he knew they all knew what it was they’d been sent to retrieve, and what it could do if you weren’t careful. They were told as long as it was contained it would be docile, and you were safe. Now though a flashing golden light shone from between the seams of the box, hot power practically vibrating the metal. The box, while small, was built to withstand much more than this, it wouldn’t break, it would hold, but the violent reaction of the object contained inside still set everyone on edge.

“Wh... what’s going on?” Jim shuddered, wisely keeping his distance from the clearly unstable object.

The Leader crushed down his own rising sense of dread as he examined the pulsing glow, thinking back over all he’d been told of this thing when he’d accepted this mission. This sort of occurrence had been explained to him, he remembered but had been declared extremely unlikely, and thus the information had settled deep in the deeper part of his subconscious. Now though he dragged those memories to the surface, flicking through them as the golden light continued to pulse, seeping from the seams.

“It’s calling…” He said, making sure everyone could hear him as he spoke. “It’s calling one of its children.”

He heard a shuddering gasp from Jim and the rigid stiffening of the others.

“Bu—but we have no records of… there hasn’t been anyone infected in at least the past hundred years!” Jim’s eyes were wide as he stared at the box in his leader’s hand.

“It must have happened recently then.” The Leader answered, still examining the box.

“We need to… We need to get out of here!” Jim gasped, turning to hurriedly shut the back of the van. The others saw this and made to do the same—they knew the stories, old as they were, and saw no need to add a modern one to the list.

“Stop!” The Leader ordered, his voice ringing with authority. “We’re not going anywhere!”

Everyone froze as he said this, their faces reading a strong mixture of obedience and shock.

“Sir, we don’t have our weapons. We were only prepared to handle the girl; we didn’t come equipped to handle something like this.” The man in the ball-cap said, his hands fidgeting slightly as if trying to wrap around the handle of his very absent gun.

“Guns are practically useless against things like this.” Their leader calmly informed them. “And besides, even if we left, this thing,” He held up the glowing box. “would still call to it. Its child would be able to follow its call right to us and give chase, no matter where we were, and I do not want to be the one to explain to our employer why his plans have been blown to smithereens by a video of that thing chasing us on the Six o’clock news.”

Everyone’s eyes seemed to fill with fear as this thought finally occurred to them. Whatever the object or the thing coming for it could do to them, it was nothing compared to what their employer would do to them if they screwed this up. Whatever was coming for them was better in every way imaginable.

“We don’t have guns, but I know none of you were stupid enough to leave your knives. There are five of us; if we can corner it here it will have nowhere to run. It is a newborn, so it will be weak. We were trained for this…”

All of the men nodded as their Leader outlined his plan, their confidence, though still rattled, returned, strengthening their resolve. The Leader ordered them to their positions, the two dressed as workmen slipping just out of sight while the man still holding the girl dropped her unconscious body and moved to his own position. Jim climbed back into the van, being the least experienced his sole job would be to help corner the incoming threat. He glanced at his leader as he situated himself.

“Sir, you should hide too.” He said, watching the Leader slip the still glowing box into one of his pockets.

“No, someone needs to lure this thing in.” He replied, checking the knife hidden up his sleeve. “And as you said, there hasn’t been one of these things for over a hundred years; I want to be the first to see it.”

Jim still looked terrified, but nodded anyway, pulling himself deeper within the van as the Leader turned his face toward the alley entrance. He could feel the pulsing hum of the object in his pocket as it called to its child in a voice none of them could hear. The rhythm increased, steadily rising until the pulses became one long heat filled thrum. Then, without warning, it stopped.

It was here.

o0o

Gasping, panting breaths filled the still air, interjected every couple of seconds by a low whimpering moan. It was dark and quiet, quiet, save the breathing. Crouched down in the shadow of some random building, eyes closed, hands clasped tight to the side of his head, Kriss tried to focus on steadying his breathing as his whole body quaked, attempting to flush out the excess adrenaline.

He’d run, he’d run hard and far until he wasn’t running anymore. He wasn’t quite sure how he’d gotten here, wherever here was, he only knew that when rational thought had returned he didn’t recognize anything, and that the horrible scene from earlier was no longer in front of him.

Another low noise escaped his lips.

Despite no longer having the scene right in front of him, it was by no means gone. He could still see it behind his closed eyelids, in shockingly clear detail, and he remembered… he remembered everything.

What...what did he just do? What was that? How…how…?

How could he have done that?

He’d stopped shaking so badly, and, while his heart was still pounding, he’d finally managed to even out his breathing. Slowly his death grip on the sides of his head loosened, his arms dropping to instead wrap around his knees, but he still didn’t open his eyes. His body had calmed, but his mind was still working furiously, thoughts and memories meshing, burning, fighting for space. Everything, he was seeing it, was living it all over again, every excruciating detail, like some horrible dream. He was torn between wanting to stop the endless loop that was playing over and over again behind his eyelids and wanting to hide from reality a little longer, to avoid seeing the proof that all this wasn’t some nightmare hallucination.

‘But’, one clear thought whispered, making its way through the jumbled mess, ‘but he couldn’t hide forever’. Someone would eventually see him and start asking questions, questions he didn’t know the answer to. He...he needed to know what happened, and he couldn’t find that sitting here in the dark.

Kriss opened his eyes slowly, almost unwillingly, casting his gaze upward as he did so. Despite wanting to know, he didn’t want to see, not yet, not without preparing himself. His thoughts still churned wildly, drawing him back even with his eyes wide open. He remembered everything, every movement, every instant. He could feel the ghosts of sensation as his mind forced him to relive the whole incident, moment for moment, his eyes blindly staring at thin air.

He remembered the feel of G yanking his head back, the anger and rising irritation at the man-handling and taunts, the fierce pain of his hurt fingers, and the only slightly less painful kicks to his head and his chest. In the real world, he twitched, reacting to nothing. He remembered G crushing his hand a third time, the sheer agony once again burning through his body, and how he’d dissolved into that agony.

That was when the pain had stopped, or at least dulled considerably, swept away in a flood of energy along with most of his thought processes. It wasn’t that he’d stopped thinking, perse, more like all unnecessary higher-level thoughts had shut down, greatly clearing his frazzled, still slightly scattered mind and allowing him a certain amount of focus.

He’d pulled himself up; the ground was too dangerous a place for him at that moment. His death grip on G’s wrist had been a simple reaction, needing the leverage and not wanting to risk more pain. It wasn’t meant to cause harm; he just needed to ensure he had enough time to reorient himself, to pull himself back together. He knew, looking back, that once he’d gotten himself together, that he would have left then, he should have left then, but he’d been so rattled, so confused, and the others had looked at him so strangely. Because of that, he’d forgotten the urge to leave; he’d forgotten almost everything happening around him. That strange emotion, he knew what it was now. Fear, he’d seen fear, and it confused him. His entire life Kriss had never seen anyone look at him fearfully. Sure he’d seen it before, Mark always displayed enough of that, and he’d seen it directed at others, but no one had ever been afraid of him. Their faces flashed in his mind, and Kriss shuddered hard. He didn’t like it, it made him feel sick inside. Wrong, wrong, wrong, the fear had been all wrong. His stomach twisted and he let out a low groan of protest, but the memory still played on.

He felt it all again; the confusion, the blurry thoughts, and the phantom sensation of sickening warmth running down his palm, all of it building up to the point where he’d finally looked down.

He’d stalled. He shouldn’t have stalled. Up until that point, his head had been clearing, slowly, but steadily, and the shock had actually served to speed up the process. He’d frozen up a bit, his fight or flight response whirling, edging decidedly toward flight. But then, when he looked away there’d been the sudden impact to his already throbbing head, and everything had changed again.

There’d been danger still, he’d briefly forgotten, that there were others who wanted to hurt him. He was very tired of pain. Kriss hadn’t thought, he reacted, switching from flight to fight in less than a heartbeat.

Kriss was drowning in the memory, and even though the threat was gone his whole body began to react once more, his heart picking up the pace as his breathing sped up again.

Danger, danger, surrounded! So many of them, they’d wanted to hurt him, he’d wanted to escape. Danger, danger, away! He’d struck at his attackers, and they’d gone down, but there were so many. Threat! He didn’t want to hurt, just defend himself. They’d kept coming, less of them. He’d warned them off, but they didn’t understand the warning. Or they’d ignored it. They’d continued to attack, and he’d reacted, moved, fought until there’d been only one left.

He’d lifted him, his enemy, made sure he could see, could hear the warning he’d been ignoring, so he would know, next time he would know. He’d waited, waited for acknowledgment, and once he saw it in the other’s eyes he’d finally removed the threat. They would wake up and remember, but ‘til then the threat was gone.

He’d relaxed. Sort of. He was safe, so to speak. No more threat, so no more pain. He’d felt… good. Physically, anyway. Mentally could be left to interpretation. The pain was gone, though, and a calm feeling had settled where the restless energy had once been. Without the distraction, he was able to notice the feel of… something. It was all over him, making his skin itch faintly, a small irritation worming its way amongst the calm. His first instinct had been to try and get it off, but even though he swiped at it, it stayed on, getting more irritating the more he’d worked. It had been starting to get on his nerves, he’d just wanted whatever it was off, so he’d looked to see what it was, and…

Red…

NO!

Kriss pulled out of the memory immediately with a strangled yelp, the shaking from before returning full force. No, no, he did not want to see it again! What he’d done? What had he done!? It wasn’t… He wasn’t there, he tried to tell himself, he wasn’t there anymore! But it was still here, all over him. He didn’t want to look at it, he couldn’t look at it, but he really didn’t have to, he could feel it. His hands, his arms, his face, he could feel it there. What did he do? What did he do?! How!? He didn’t mean…

A low, almost growling, keening noise interrupted his thoughts, piercing through the guilt and the panic and drawing him back to the real world with a jolt. The guttural vocalization startled him, easily washing away the rest of his overcrowded thoughts. What...what was that? The choking feeling of drowning in his own emotions rapidly faded away as he allowed his attention elsewhere. He was still staring upward, eyes focused on nothing, his brow knit in confusion. He listened to hear the noise again. For some reason, it didn’t bother him the way it probably should have, but it might have just been that he’d exhausted all of those kinds of emotions during his panic attack. Right now all he felt was confusion and a small amount of curiosity. It had sounded so close, where had that…?

He paused, remembering… What he was remembering he wasn’t sure, but he remembered… something…

A warning. He remembered a warning, a warning no one seemed to heed. He remembered… A noise, a deep rumbling in his ears during and after the fight…

An inkling of realization dawned, and Kriss slowly lifted one of his hands. It was deceptively calm, not even a tremor in his fingers as they came up to brush his own throat. It had—it was from… him…? That...those noises, had come from… him? How… how could…?

Kriss cleared his throat a little, feeling unsure.

“Hello?”

He spoke to the air, a test, and heard his voice, his normal voice. He wasn’t quite sure what he’d expected, something else maybe? He didn’t know how he should feel about that; that he’d expected something different, or that he’d been mildly disappointed whatever he had expected hadn’t happened. Curious, confused, he tried to speak again, to find proof of…whatever, but he was having trouble coming up with anything to say. Half imagined words kept forming on his lips, the first sounds emerging calmly, steadily, only to waver before so much as a syllable formed. It really shouldn’t have been hard, he didn’t actually need to say anything, after all, he was technically talking to himself, but for some reason, he kept drawing a complete blank. It was quickly becoming frustrating. Without thinking, Kriss released a small frustrated sound reminiscent of the rumbling from earlier, the sound building in his chest and emerging easily from the back of his throat.

Blue eyes suddenly shot wide and his whole body went rigid as he realized what he’d done. What was that!? He’d felt it this time, he’d felt the low vibrations beneath his fingers, so even if he’d wanted to deny it he couldn’t. That noise had definitely come from him, but what on earth!?

For some reason, he wasn’t having a panic attack this time. Was he startled? Yes. Frightened? A little. Confused? Understatement. But panicked? No, he wasn’t panicked. He guessed that was a blessing, maybe. It unnerved him, his own calm about this, and the feeling only increased when another noise escaped him and he realized how startlingly natural it felt. His conscious mind warred against his subconscious, the latter one trying to tell him that everything was alright, that this was normal, but it wasn’t! He knew it wasn’t; people didn’t make those sorts of noises, at least not naturally. He’d been growling at G and the others during the fight, growling! Like an animal. And he’d done all those other things…

Oh, look, the panic was back, but this time it brought with it a sickening dread, one that only grew worse when he couldn’t stop the low whine that bubbled up from deep within him. Had he… had he meant to…? No, he gave his head a hard shake. No, he’d been trying to warn them off. He’d been warning them, but they’d still attacked, and then he’d been defending himself. He’d been angry, but he’d only wanted them out for the count, he’d never wanted…that.

It was too much. Anxiety, confusion, shock, terror, guilt, anger, fear, it was like Kriss’ mind couldn’t settle for which emotion to experience so it had decided to bounce between all of them at once. This needed to stop before he drove himself insane, it was all too much! He was growling again; he didn’t care, his eyes tightly shut as he grabbed the sides of his head again. The memories were trying to overwhelm him again. Too loud, too close, too much. Stop. Stop!

“STOP!” The last came out as more of a snarl than a word as he suddenly surged to his feet, the noise tearing from his throat to echo in the otherwise quiet surroundings as Kriss forced out every single ounce of his inner turmoil. It dissipated into the air around him along with the last of the echo, leaving him feeling drained and empty, standing there, arms hanging limply at his sides.

He just stood there, panting, his mind now forcibly clear. He focused on taking deep breaths, calming his racing heart. He needed… he needed to think this through. No matter how much he didn’t want to, he needed to go through this, before he sent himself into another panic spiral by accident.

Kriss sucked in another long breath and let it out slowly.

Okay, he needed to think this out. What was his problem? His problem wasn’t the fight, at least not the act of being in a fight; fights were something he was used to. No, that wasn’t his issue here. It wasn’t him fighting back either, or even his reactions during the confrontation really, though that could be a secondary issue. But no, it wasn’t all that, he knew that wasn’t what was sending him into these emotional attacks every time he saw a flash of memory or felt the irritating itch running along his arms. His problem wasn’t the fight, or that he’d been in the fight, no, it was what he had done to G and the others, even if it was unknowingly. The damage, that amount of damage, how could he do something like that? He hadn’t meant to hurt, but somehow… somehow… It was awful, he didn’t understand, was having trouble comprehending. He’d done that, how had he done that? He needed to know…

His arms itched, as did parts of his face where the proof of his crime was smeared. He was wary of looking at it, he didn’t want to start another panic attack, but he couldn’t hide from this if he wanted any semblance of peace-of-mind. He would just need to face it, no matter how sick it made him feel on the inside. Kriss drew in a breath and let it out, steeling himself. He could do this, seeing wouldn’t make anything worse, and it couldn’t change what had already occurred. He would be fine, well maybe not fine, but he could still do this. He clenched and unclenched his fists, finalizing his resolve, before lifting them up as his gaze dropped down.

The sight of crimson almost sent him over the edge again, but he fought it back down, forcing himself to focus on what he was looking at. He didn’t fight down the rising feeling of sickness wringing his innards, however, a part of him actually relieved that all of him knew how wrong this was, even if it had been an ‘accident’. The crimson color wasn’t as vibrant as it had been before, and that thought made his stomach churn even harder. He forced himself to stay calm as he rotated his arms and wrists, looking them all over. There was a lot, though that could have been due to the smearing caused by his ‘cleaning’. How did this even happen? All of them had only been using their hands to strike at each other, nothing that should have allowed for this. Even if noses had been broken, which he was pretty sure there weren’t any; there wouldn’t have been this much. So how did this happen?

Kriss continued to examine his red-stained hands with a sort of morbid curiosity, and as he did so he had a brief flash of memory. Sick warmth running, small, pained, gasping noises, looking down at red pooling. It all passed in an instant, leaving him reeling a bit. He remembered, when he’d held G’s wrist, he’d drawn blood. He hadn’t meant to, he’d simply grabbed it, not even all that hard, so how had he managed to do that? He turned his hands over, palms up, letting his fingers curl gently as he tried to see what could have done all that. Something seemed off, not quite right, aside from the blood. He looked closer, closer than he was really comfortable with, and after a few beats he realized what it was.

Shock, horror, fear!

He pulled his hands back away from his face in surprise. Not what he expected, not what he expected at all! He didn’t want to freak out, not again, but this made it so hard to stamp the rising emotion down. Calm down. Calm down! Look at it, don’t panic, look! Kriss took a few deep breaths, calling on his confusion and bizarrely present curiosity to help crush out the rising emotions. Answers… Focus on getting your questions answered, just that, yeah.

He raised one hand, the previously injured one he realized, and stared at it. Before, he hadn’t noticed what had changed, because the solid red coating his hands had taken most of his attention, masking it. Now though, now that he knew what was there it was hard to miss, drawing his eyes along the length of his hand, stopping at the end.

Long and sharp, hard, emerging from the ends of his fingers, he didn’t realize what he was looking at, at first, simply because they were so out of place. Impossible, improbable, people, unnatural, normal people didn’t have…impossible.

Of course, normal people don’t growl like an animal either, he reminded himself, but that being the case, then why was it so impossible that he had …?

Had …

Horror, confusion...

Claws. Might as well say what they were, they were claws.

For some reason, acknowledging them like that didn’t make him want to freak out. Well, he did, but he’d felt a cold numbness setting in in its place. He looked over at his other hand; the claws were there as well. The blood, the growling, now these, it was all a little too much. Every answer he seemed to get just dragged up several more questions. He just… he couldn’t take all this at once; stuff like this doesn’t—shouldn’t—happen in real life. It made his head hurt, trying to figure this all out. He needed to know, needed to figure out what on earth was happening, and why.

Why?

His head throbbed, like before, when everything had still made some sort of sense. It forced him to grab the sides of his skull, some noise of protest leaving his throat as he tried to ease the piercing ache. This felt like before, first the headache, then the numbness, and then everything had gone insane. He wanted this to stop, he did not want to even think about what might happen if this continued.

A chill wound its way up his spine, and he could feel a slight buzzing in the back of his head. What was that? He looked up; he could almost hear it vibrating in the air around him. Where was it coming from? It made him feel…dazed a bit. Where was it coming from? Where? He faced the opening of the alleyway he’d secreted himself in; it seemed like it was coming from there. He took a step, unsure if he should be following this strange noise. It would only lead to trouble, he reasoned, and he shouldn’t go looking for more of that today, or ever. Despite this, he took another step forward. He shouldn’t, he shouldn’t, but the buzzing was becoming louder, and his still present headache was making things difficult for him. Don’t, don’t, don’t… don’t… maybe… Maybe if he found whatever was causing the buzzing then maybe he could get it to shut up and quit aggravating his headache.

Something was…

Was...

He made his decision the same time he reached the entrance of the alley. The buzzing was louder here, and it was coming from off to the right. Kriss stepped out to follow it, any possible attempt at caution completely escaping his mind. Just… follow, find what… what is…? Only after he was several yards from his original hiding place did it finally occur to him that he hadn’t heard a single sound besides his own steps, and he was walking down the sidewalk covered in…well… He glanced around, an uneasy feeling building in his gut when he discovered he was the only living thing on the street. Everything else was dark and quiet, which would explain how he’d gotten here without causing any alarm the first time. This was not right, wrong, wrong, something was wrong… He kept moving, but now he did so with much more wariness, keeping his movements as quiet as possible.

The buzzing kept getting louder until it brought him to the mouth of another alley with a large white van blocking the entrance, the only vehicle on the street. If Kriss wasn’t on edge before, then he assuredly was now, moving closer to the buildings beside him as he peered down the alley. Keep going, keep going… He didn’t see anything, but the buzzing was definitely originating from deeper in. Cautiously he moved into the slightly darkened space, giving the van behind him a quick look. Forward, keep going forward... He couldn’t turn back, even if he wanted to, the call was too strong now. That didn’t mean he would just go running in there, however. Wrong, wrong, something was wrong here... Instead he pressed himself as close to the walls as he could, moving with a purpose, every step silent. He could see a bend up ahead in the alley, the buzzing becoming deafening the closer he moved, but it didn’t stop him from hearing the barest sounds of voices coming from the direction he was heading. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. He could sense the danger radiating from those voices, but he kept going.

Something was… was there...

He reached the bend, the buzzing rising to an unbearable pitch, before suddenly cutting off. It left an almost ringing silence behind it, and the sharp chill Kriss had felt earlier returned. The voices had stopped too, and he really had to wonder what he was getting himself into. Slowly, he peeked around the bend, spotting the back end of another van, but no people. There was a serious feeling of foreboding in the air—wrong, wrong, not right—making the hairs on Kriss’ body stand on end. He moved into the shorter section of the alleyway, focusing on his expanding view of the open area at the other end. He still didn’t see anyone, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t anyone there, they could just be hidden from his range of sight. He knew he’d heard voices, not just one, plus there were two vans, someone had to drive them there. Whoever they were, they knew he was coming. How he knew this, he didn’t know, but he was sure of it.

Waiting, waiting, waiting for him, to hurt...

The end of the alley came up fast, and Kriss was forced to shield his eyes a bit at the sudden glare of sunlight, halting just within the alley mouth. He was so distracted for a second that he almost missed the sound of someone shifting. But he didn’t, and when his eyes finally adjusted he was able to see a man standing in the center of the open place, staring straight at him. His first reaction was to freeze in place, all of his muscles tensing under the man’s gaze. Their eyes locked, blue on brown, and they entered a sort of strange staring contest. The man didn’t say anything, but he didn’t break the stare either, somehow managing to slowly examine Kriss without breaking eye contact. Don’t look away, don’t look away. Kriss tried not to move, to focus on what the other was doing, but then a small breeze that had somehow made its way into the enclosed space blew past him, wafting a strange sickly scent by his nose.

All of his attention turned to it against his will, it was familiar, nauseatingly familiar. He actually broke the bizarre staring contest to try and find where it was coming from, his whole head turning away as he followed it back to its source.

There, lying against the far wall, a small heap of torn fabric, scarily still, aside from letting out small, ragged breaths that he could somehow hear, even from where he stood. And all around the form, in the air of the space, the sick smell of blood.

It was on the man too, Kriss realized as he slowly turned back to face him, it was on his hands.

Sick, sick, sick!

Blue met brown again, and Kriss felt his world haze over.

o0o0o

First chapter is Here:

Second Chapter is Here:

Third chapter is Here:

Link to buy full Novel is Here:

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gallbladderrecovery · 4 years

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First night

I just realized I seem really excited in all of my titles. I’ll admit that I’ve finally for sure turned the get better point. My pain in very minimal, and overall I’m just feeling better.

So! My first evening was very rough. Here’s all the what happened, what I should have dones, and what I did my first night post-op.

If you haven’t read my other long-winded posts: I went to stay with my sister for the first two nights. I did have to go to a bedroom upstairs. My sister is married and has a 2 year old, 2 cats and 1 dog (corgi mix, so about that size). Full house, but she was probably the best option. I had originally thought I was going to stay with my parents, but I guess this was better...? I’m not sure how.

Now, truly the hardest part was wanting to do anything except drift in and out of sleep, but not being able to, and not wanting to move. Your body kind of gets settled into a place where you think, this is ok. I can manage this for a little bit, but don’t you dare more. I was prescribed hydrocodone-acetaminophen (generic Vicodin. I call it hydro-apap) and I don’t think it did as much as I wanted it to. Even when the drug was working, I was still in pain. I had previously taken this before when I had my wisdom teeth out and it kicked the pain right away. This didn’t do that. I’m also not one to regularly take pain meds. I’m not sure what the difference is. Learn from my mistake that I should have called the doctor/nurse stating I was still in a lot of pain. I also only took it for the first couple days. Mainly in the morning because, again, the first movements are hard, and in the evening so I could sleep better. The ibuprofen actually did way more for pain management, and that didn’t start until I got back to my own apartment.

So, I slowly, one step at a time, get upstairs and lay down on the bed. Painful. Again, the hydro-apap was not helping pain management well. I was also still nauseated. Presumably this was from the anesthesia, but I can’t say that’s what it was. My mouth was still really dry because I wasn’t drinking because I was nauseated. There becomes this awful, delicate balance: I feel sick because of the meds, so I don’t want to eat, but if I don’t eat, I will continue to feel sick. I did end up vomiting once probably not long before going upstairs. I guess this is a hack, but I ended up grabbing the kitchen garbage can and putting it on top of the toilet so I wouldn’t have to bend over to vomit and put extra strain anywhere. Hack? I dunno. lol My sister didn’t appreciate that I vomited in her garbage can, but....oh well? Sorry, sister. I’ll buy you a new garbage can if you want.

The TL:DR read is I was up hourly/less than hourly. Each time I had to somehow psyche myself up to sit up and get out of bed. My sister and nephew sleep right next to the bathroom, so I felt really bad. I couldn’t bend over to close the toilet lid, so sometimes it would drop a bit. I was peeing out IV fluids, which IS a good thing because you need to pee. As I mentioned in my previous post, my period was also going on. Because I couldn’t have anything inserted, I was paranoid of making a mess. But, I’ll be real, it’s also very hard to reach after surgery because you’re so swollen and full of gas from the procedure. (My understanding is that they fill your body with CO2 so you don’t deflate and it makes the process easier, and probably better visibility on the camera, but I cannot verify how accurate that is). I’ll also be 100% blunt that I was a little paranoid of not being able to clean myself a bit after using the bathroom and I wondered why I didn’t try to set up the water bottle thing they do for new moms. Another fun bit is if the clothes you wear on your lower half fall off your knees, it’s a wonder to see how you’re going to pull your clothes back on.

I am a side sleeper. I cannot get comfortable on my back well at all. After just over a week I’m getting at least a couple hours of sleep in a row. The gas pains were horrible. It was really depressing to have those gas pains that feel like a gallbladder attack without a GB. That was truly frustrating. So I’m trying to move around, but it hurts to move. I still feel sick to my stomach, but I still need a little bit of food to take my pills, etc. I would probably spend like an hour on the toilet each time I got up. Not just for the reasons you think though: yes, I had to pee. I had to keep a monitor on my period since I was entering that heavy day. It was actually more comfortable to be able to kind of lean back and brace myself against the toilet and tub. It would take me a really long time to take the pain meds because the oyster crackers were dry, as was my mouth from lack of fluid intake, and sometimes I would just sit there until the pain meds kicked in to be up again an hour or less later. I am an emotional wreck when I’m over tired. I mean genuinely sleep-deprived, what am I doing with my life, I want to cry because I just want to sleep emotional. I was actually a little bit afraid to cry because I didn’t want to put my stomach through that much if it was going to be a sob sort of cry. Every time I sat up I had to lay there and ask how I did it previously because the least amount of pain is straight up, but that just wasn’t possible without some sort of pull bar. I didn’t want to ask my sister to help me each hour. It was a very mentally exhausting night as well. I will say if the gas/GB pain is something you’ve dealt with before, you know how it is. Walking does help.

What I should have done! First, I should have slept in the recliner. That would have been easier to get in and out of. The down side of that is the risk of the pets wanting to be nearby or my nephew finding me at 6am when I’m trying to sleep. Also, a bit of privacy is better. The other option: I own a wedge pillow for the reflux that I had never slept on. That *might* have also made things easier. In the end I didn’t want something extra to carry, but I should have brought that. To add a bit of humor, when I was looking online, I was very close to shopping on an adult site wondering if I would get it cheaper or for better quality. But this has made laying on the couch easier as well to have that back support. So I recommend a wedge pillow just for those sick days or something. My sister also literally gave me a sippy cup to sip at all night. As funny as it is, I would have done the same. I should have brought a water bottle. I did end up dropping it on the floor and post surgery is when you learn to grab everything below waist height with your feet. It’s also when you wonder if pants are really needed for the day. (Dresses for the win! Also dance gear. Bellydance pants - tribal/fusion/ATS styles - are where it’s at for comfort).

And that was the first night. Always disclaimer, for some people they were back to normal the day after surgery. I had absolutely no pain from the oxygen tube, but one of my friends survived on tea because her throat was so sore. I probably would have been better had I confronted the pain management much earlier. Again, this is just my journey. My friend thought her throat pain was worse than the incisions and back to eating normally within 2 days. A week later I’m still reintroducing bland foods. Please do not compare your healing place to mine, but this can offer a little support as to what might happen, and if something did, you’re not alone.

#gallbladder #gallbladder surgery #get rid of that gallbladder #recovery after surgery #gallbladder removal #post surgery #first night always sucks #ugh the gas pain

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chxrlotte-linlin · 6 years

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Retrospective(Verse: Future)

LinLin’s life had changed drastically after she woke up from her year-long food coma. She came back to consciousness only a few weeks ago, slowly returning to her full glory. The Yonko was still very thin, but thanks to sugar IV lines and high calory sweets she was on a good way to get back to her old shape.

Munching on some tarts, she looked out of her bedroom window and sighed. The Chateau was newly built and recently had finished. It was very similar to the old one, yet a little smaller in size. LinLin leaned back and closed her eyes exhausted. This morning she felt a little dizzy but hoped it would go away soon. A servant came in to see after her. As he was sure she was okay, a doctor came in to check her IV lines. The change was quick and LinLin was left alone again. While she was in her coma, she dreamt a lot of stuff from her past which made her left thinking. From the earliest memories, she somehow was able to remember to most recent ones with the Strawhats and the disastrous Tea Party a few years ago.

A frustrated sigh escaped her mouth and she got up slowly, stretching herself, being sick of staying in bed all the time. Walking over the window, LinLin tilted her head slightly as a headache started to form in her head.

“Blasted, this pain is just returning at the most inconvenient times...” she muttered, glaring outside the rainy Island. It was raining for a few days by now which made the whole situation not really better. A knock on her door makes her turn around a little too fast, her head was spinning again. With a low growl, she called whoever was outside.

It was Compote who wanted to look after her mother. On her face was a gentle smile and she came in with grace.

“Mama, good to see you awake. I was afraid you were too exhausted after yesterdays exercise to even get up! Sorry. Here, I brought you fresh baskets of fruits. Your favorites on top of that!” Compote exclaimed friendly, putting down the baskets on a table. Her look went back to her mother and she frowned.

“Are you alright Mama?” she asked worried, getting over to her. LinLin brushed it off quickly, shrugging in response. “I just feel a little tipsy, that’s all. Nothing too bad.” she took a grapefruit from the basket and bite out a bit, munching it away in no time. It was really delicious.

“How is Forge doing. I heard he has returned from a mission not long ago?” LinLin asked her daughter who nodded in agreement.

“Indeed so, Forge returned a few days ago and is currently resting in the Seducing Woods” Compote exclaimed, opening one of the windows of the room to let in fresh air. “Oven has accompanied him as well but he is still away as he had a little detour to make. But he will be back soon as well.” LinLin raised a brow interested, so Oven really did his own thing for once? Seems that has changed as well over the last years she thought to herself. A moaning escaped her mouth as the pain in her head started anew.

“Compote, be a doll and give me one of these painkillers on my nightstand...My head is killing me.” she groaned, sitting down on the bed frustrated. Her daughter brought over the pills which were taken in no time.

“Tell Forge I want to talk with him later today. It’s been a long time since we had a talk...a real one...” LinLin muttered exhausted. Compote nodded but wondered what her mother meant with that. She went out of the room quickly as it was time for her to look after Streusen who was in a room just aside of her mother’s. The old man withered down an awful lot, making him literally helpless. This was not only grating on Compote’s mind, the other siblings as well and even LinLin were aware of that fact. For the latter one was it a blessing in disguise in a way. The once so jealous old man turned into a whiney, little brat in an old man's body, not knowing how to do anything alone anymore. It was irony in a way, for now, he was the one dependent on others, not the other way around.

She remembered the day she had found out she was pregnant with the Triplets and told it to Forge, back then they were still married and a happy young couple. LinLin closed her eyes and thought back on the wonderful memories, blending out the reason why she cried later on that day. It was long overdue to talk about him and her feelings for him which stayed pretty much the same over all these years. She wanted to feel his touch again, his rough skin against her own, laying down with him to simply do nothing at all. Hell, her kids seemingly done a good enough job to run this Island without her, so maybe...but that was a thought for another day.All the other husbands she couldn’t care less about, only Forge stayed in her memory and if it wouldn’t have been for Streusen, they probably would have stayed together. She felt how tears started to form in her eyes. Rubbing her face vigorously, LinLin tried to stop the flow which worked, barely.

“I wonder if he still feels the same way about me...” she muttered to herself, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. LinLin’s reflection was showing a woman that looked worn out, black bags were under her eyes, wrinkles even deeper due to the absence of fat that usually donned her face, making it look feisty, strong and durable. She hoped that it would return in time, giving her back her old look and strenght.

Back with Compote:

She just came into Streusens room, opening the windows and checking on him. He was vast asleep, a plush dog was tightly held by him which was a present from Forge, Compote asked him to do that for him and the Blacksmith agreed begrudgingly, for the sake of his stepdaughter. Ever since the fall from the Chateau, his mind deteriorated at a quick pace, making him literally a living vegetable by now.

The eldest daughter gently stroke his forehead, fixing his pillow a little bit. The old man barely reacted, a mumbling was all he could manage to bring out. His tongue licked his lips, seemingly he was dreaming. Maybe he was hungry, soon it was lunch time and he always had a big appetite. Compote sighed, knowing what trouble it would be to feed him later on, he was always so antsy and would try his best to throw away his dish over the whole table. She decided to give him something to drink, to moisten his mouth a little. This try was futile however as his lips pressed together tightly, forbidding every kind of fluid to get into him. With a slightly annoyed sigh, Compote gave up and left his room, lighting up a little light for him, as it started to get darker outside due to the rain clouds. He always was afraid of the darkness which broke Compote’s heart more than often. As he was a little agiler and his mental capacities better, he would come crawling into her bed, searching for comfort. She always accepted that as she knew he couldn’t help himself, feeling scared and alone. Even after he started to call her Mama a good year and a half ago, she kept her stance on the ever loving, forgiving daughter.

“I wonder how long it will rain this time...” she muttered to herself as she ran into Oven who was on his way to their mother. He rubbed his head and apologized for his rush.

“Oven, what’s the matter, why are you in such a hurry? And when you came back? Just now?” a literal tree of questions which were answered by her brother one by one.

“Be quiet though, Mama felt a little dizzy and can’t use any ruckus at the moment. You think you’re able to manage that?” she looked at her younger brother who nodded with a grin.

“Yes my dearest sister, I won’t forget it” he laughed, making his way to LinLin’s room. Compote simply rolled with her eyes, going down the hall in the throne room. She had to deal with important business and needed to settle a few things. Her brother PerosPero was at her side, helping her to keep the chaos in line. He was a big help and Compote was ever glad to have him at her side. They were a pretty good duo and were able to work together quite nicely which in hindsight was even better for Whole Cake Island.

They decided to lead the whole business until their mother was back at her full power and rested enough, for now, they took the pressure on ruling on them alone. Fruit and Candy Island was ruled by them at the same time, co-managing everything together. Daifuku, who was the newest Member of the Sweet Commanders, taking the place of Snack who had mysteriously vanished a while ago, was busy with his island and other business so he was barely on Whole Cake, same goes for Smoothie, Cracker, and Katakuri. They were closely working together with the newly formed First Defense Line Squad, which basically contained members of former Husbands of Big-Mom who lived in the Seducing Woods and after their banishment was broken, they started to fight alongside Compote and the others for Totland.

One Member of this troop was Forge, he was the Commander of them and leader and well known as the second Husband of Charlotte LinLin. They had a loving relationship and were together for a very long time. That was until she had born his children, after that, Streusen actively drove them away from each other, banishing Forge from ever entering WCI again.

This was long gone by now, however, yet a stinging feeling had stayed back, hunting him up to this date. Now that he learned that LinLin wanted to speak with him, a small dew of hope grew in his heart, hoping for a happy end.

He walked up to the Chateau a while later, fixing his attire so it wouldn’t look too shabby. As Forge entered the Chateau, he was greeted by the Servants and Compote who just came down with a stack of papers.

“Forge, it’s good to see you. Mama is waiting for you already. She is in her room.” she exclaimed, hurrying down another hallway. Forge nodded and made his way up to LinLin. He was a little nervous but did his best to stay civil. As he arrived at his former wife's door, Forge gently knocked on the door, waiting for a word of the Yonko. It came shortly later and with steady steps he entered her room, looking around until he found her. She was sitting on her bed, her hands folded on her lap, looking a little more relaxed as before. Her petite features instead of the usual bigger ones were a nice little change and made Forge feel like he was young again. Of course she looked a lot older now but still, it was something you don’t forget that fast.

He bowed in front of her, taking her hand to kiss it. LinLin had to chuckle slightly. She enjoyed his kisses still up to this date.

“It’s good to see you, Forge” she began, patting her left side of the bed. “Come, sit with me, I would like to chat with you a little more. For old times sakes...” her voice was softer as usual which probably was due to the effects of the painkillers she was on currently.

“Same I can say for my part” he replied solemnly, thinking about the day they broke up. “Glad to see you awake again. I was worried to be honest that you wouldn’t regain your consciousness, thankfully I was wrong” he added quickly, a wave of relieving washed off him. LinLin shook her head.

“You should know me better, I am not so easily beaten. My body may be malnourished now but I will soon regain my old strength back, and then my revenge will be hot like the sun, that i promise” she growled, cracking her knuckles dangerously.

“But that is not the reason why I called you to me today. In fact, Forge, I wanted to apologize...” she muttered, looking on the ground. “Apologizing for letting me drag myself into Streusen’s doctrine of throwing out my husbands after they gave me children” LinLin added, her tone of voice was changing indeed, it sounded sorrowful now. She looked at Forge and his reaction. He was silent the whole time.

“I still love you and wondered... I wondered if you still feel the same for me as I do...” she finally confessed which made Forge thinking for a moment. The man took LinLin’s hand and held it tightly, stroking the upper side of it.

“My feelings haven’t changed at all, over these past years, they grew even stronger, I think. I waited so long for your confession, the small hope I had deep down in my heart really turned out to be true...” LinLin blushed at this, smiling coyly.

“So...you’re not mad at me for throwing you out?” she asked a little unsure. Normally she would have reacted otherwise but her head was still cloudy. Forge shook his head slowly.

“No, in the contrary, I found many good friends after you banished me. They grew on me over time, like brothers.” Forge explained, all the while stroking LinLin’s giant hands. “Well now there is no more Streusen to stop us from anything, am i right?” he started, looking at her with a challenging look. She chuckled and nodded her head.

“Indeed, he is too busy with being a big baby by now” LinLin retorted, making both laughing in unison. They had a good laugh about it but decided to stop. It was not they enjoyed to mock the former Chef, but in a way, it was also sad enough to see him in such a vulnerable state.

“I made him a plush dog not so long ago, he literally hadn’t let go of it the whole time. Constantly having it by his side. He even talks with the plush. Compote told me the other day” he said, rubbing her knuckles gently. LinLin tilted her head amused.

“He really does that?” she asked, not really believing it. Forge nodded and took her hand. “I can show you. He just woke up it seems. I heard him babbling from outside the door” the blacksmith led LinLin out of her room and into Streusen’s. She wasn’t here for a little while, too busy with sleeping and regaining her strength. What she saw, truly shocked her. The old man was staring at a plush dog, stroking his fur slowly, talking incoherent words to him, seemingly telling him something. He didn’t realize the newcomers in his room, too focused on his furry friend.

LinLin slowly walked up to him, looking down at him with a frown. Forge followed closely.

“Streusen?” she asked carefully. He didn’t even react to her words. The former chef rocked himself back and forth, engulfed in his own little world. Forge shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

“As i said, totally spaced out. The poor fella doesn’t even recognize when he needs the bathroom. I pity him in a way, no one deserves such a fate, not even him.” Forge mused, seeing how drool dropped down Streusen’s mouth. He took a handkerchief and wiped it away softly. As both turned around to go, a strike of clarity hit Streusen and he turned around to them, a sad look on his face.

“LinLin, don’t leave me alone..” he muttered with a broken voice. The woman swallowed hard, trying not to look at him. “I-i am sorry...sorry sorry so sorry for everything...i..i..” as quick it came, it was lost again, leaving him babbling random words, his look glassy, spaced out as before. LinLin felt nauseatic out of sudden and had to leave the room. It was too much seeing him like that.

“Are you alright, Lin?” Forge asked, embracing her frame gently. The woman nodded, keeping her emotions together.

“Yeah, I am fine. It was just...strange, that’s all” she muttered, stroking her arm absent-minded. Forge laid an arm around her and started:

“Maybe you should go back in and make peace with him. It would be a good closure for you both, don’t you think?” they heard Streusen sobbing in his room which soon turned into loud wailing. Compote was alarmed and stormed up to see what was wrong with him. LinLin was sitting at Streusen’s bedside, holding him in her arms, stroking his head slowly. As her oldest daughter came in she was shocked to see her with him in her arms.

“Mama? What happened?” she asked confused, looking at the old man holding onto LinLin’s nightgown tightly, tears streaming down his wrinkly old face. Her mother rocked the former Headchef in her lap like she used to do it with her other children. It brought tears to Compotes eyes, watching the scene with a heavy heart.

“Nothing, I just made amends with Streusen, that is all. A closure if you will...” she muttered, not really sure why she did it either way. He had hurt her so many times, yet she couldn’t get it over her heart to leave him like that. “Maybe you should take him now, I think he already forgot who I am as he gets kind of fidgety here...” LinLin stated dryly, handing over Streusen to Compote who took him instantly. Then she left with Forge, they were walking hand in hand, as they used to do so way back. A smile was on both their faces. The Minister of Fruits wondered what really happened and simply watched them leave, trying to calm down her father.

“It`s okay Papa...no need to cry. I am here now” she whispered in his ear, walking around with him a little bit. As she sat down in a rocking chair, a picture book fell into her lap, making her raising a brow. It was a photo album to be precise. Compote was curious and took a look at some of the pictures. It showed the early times of their Crew, only with Streusen, LinLin, PerosPero, herself, Katakuri, Oven and Daifuku. They looked happy in most of the pictures which made Compote dwell in memories. She showed some pictures to Streusen who simply looked at them, not really able to judge where they belong to. At least he stopped crying she thought, busy stroking his head.

Back with the old couple:

It finally stopped to rain and the clouds started to wither away, making space for the sun and her rays of warmth. Forge and LinLin were standing on the balcony of her room, gazing into the horizon, hand in hand like so many years ago. They enjoyed the bright light and soft breeze that set in. LinLin closed her eyes and thought herself back to her 19th birthday and the night they spent together.

“You know, Forge? I think I am going to stay off duty for a little longer. My kids seem to make a decent job in running the country without me. A short while more won’t make a difference. More time to enjoy other activities...” she whispered in his ear, making him blush a little.

“Like in old times?” he retorted cheekily, rubbing her knuckles gently. LinLin nodded with a smirk, nudging him jokingly. Then he let him step on her hand, lifting him up to her face. They stared into each other’s eyes deeply before joining in a passionate kiss, like they did so many years ago.

The end

//this was inspired by a thread I have with @ask-oven . It’s sort of an Au where LinLin originally didn’t want to discard her husbands after giving her children, Streusen was the one who suggested doing so, giving him no concurrence or whatsoever. He is a very jealous old man and a little pervert as well I have to admit. At least how i wrote him here. And Streusens end? Well in a way he deserves a destiny like this, yet it’s hard to watch someone prideful, reduced to nothing more than an overgrown baby. This woven in another HC I have about him which happens to him after the fall from the Chateau. Either way, hope you guys liked it. It took me quite a while to write it lol//

#charlotte linlin #charlotte family #One-piece #fanfiction

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