#its only right to apologize
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having a child has taught me that every toddler is completely justified in their frustrations and tantrums because learning how to do something you have literally never encountered or heard of before is insane. and being expected to be completely calm in the face of this constant barrage of overwhelming information is doubly insane.
i got charlie a sticker activity book and it occurred to me i have to TEACH someone how to unpeel stickers. it's SKILL that requires DEXTERITY and FINE MOTOR ABILITY. i thought it was obvious that you have to curl the page a little bit to create a break in the cut so the sticker comes up.
obviously a fucking BABY wouldn't know that because they have no background experience to inform their thought process. OBVIOUSLY. and OBVIOUSLY the LITERAL BABY wouldn't get it right the first few times. it would OBVIOUSLY take practice. lots of it.
i hate this feeling. it's so obvious. why are children treated so badly when they're learning everything for the first fucking time. why do people treat children so horribly and expect so much. they're brand new. why didn't i get the same grace i give to my child? why did no one have patience for me? why, when it's this easy?
it's so easy. it's so fucking easy.
#ok2rb#op#babbyposting#apologizing to my child is second nature#i'm brand new at it too#obviously im gonna fuck up here and there#its only right to apologize#why did no one ever apologize to me#not until it was too late
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Heroes of Millennium (HoM) AU
Act 1: What was left behind. - Part 1 (page 1-5) -here- -> Part 2
#heroes of millennium au#hom au#danny phantom#dp#jake long#american dragon jake long#adjl#YEEEEEE BABEY WE GETTING DROPPED RIGHT THE FREACK IN!! NO LONG INTROS JUST STRAIGHT UP MEAT HERE BABIES#CAN YOU TELL IM EXCITED EVEN IF I STIL YET TO ACTUALLY DRAW PART 2??? only rough sketch draft still but fuk it#i have 40 pages of rough comic im allowed to be excited of having that much??? never drew comics for shit before#i feel a need to apologize for my jake's dragon 'redesign' but i actually like it so i wont lol#i would apologize for falsely saying i would post it yesterday haha i overestimated my speed and typography took much longer than i hoped..#still prolonged 48 hours is better than not posting at all ;D#if you are confused and have questions dont worry its by design (sorta) lol. everything will be answered wit time...long time
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For the Swanatello fam: what does everyone miss most about Donnie during his lake-induced absences?
for donnie, leo will gladly give every scrap of patience and grace and gentleness he has. he doesn't mind explaining things. he doesn't mind telling his brother the same things over and over. he doesn't mind it when donnie forgets or doesn't understand or needs his help to remember or process things.
but he misses the banter. the back-and-forth. the stupid fights and pranks and 'you said's' and 'i told you so's.' and, perhaps a bit selfishly, he misses when he didn't always feel like he had to be the bigger person for him. he misses when he still had the space to be childish and immature and petty towards his twin, and it wouldn't hurt either of them the way it tends to now.
[ swanatello ]
#swanatello#its no fun to pick a fight if you cant apologize and make up later#getting in that perfect GOTTEM line doesnt feel v good if the only reason is bc the other guy is confused/cant remember what ur talking abt#sure leo is still his typical brand of obnoxious and extra most of the time. esp when donnie is having a good day.#but the rules are just so different now.#hes so frustrated and tense all the time he has to step carefully because if he doesnt#he loses himself and crosses the line and says things that he doesnt mean and will regret#things that used to roll right off donnies back now sometimes really hurt him because he doesnt remember the context#or just because his emotional state is so volatile right now. hes scared and confused almost all the time now.#its stressful. its exhausting. so the threshold is different#leo will be gentle and careful and thoughtful with donnie for as long as he needs to be. even if he has to be for the rest of his life.#but he still misses when he felt like he knew all the rules. when it was easy. when he didnt have to be.#rottmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#donniesona#tmnt#tmnt 2018#tmnt 2k18#rottmnt disaster twins#asks
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Apologies that Billy Hargrove will never get:
"I'm sorry I left you behind" and "I'm sorry I didn't come back for you" (his mom)
"I'm sorry I hurt you" and "I'm sorry I made you feel worthless" (his dad)
"We're sorry we didn't see or care what was going on with you" and "We're sorry we didn't do anything to help you" (his teachers)
"I'm sorry I just stood by and watched" and "I'm sorry I looked the other way when you were hurt" (Susan)
"I'm sorry I got you in trouble with your dad" and "I'm sorry I didn't notice how he used me against you" (Max)
"I'm sorry I acted inappropriatly towards you" and "I'm sorry I treated you as a piece of meat when you're just a boy the same age as my daughter" (Mrs. Wheeler)
"I'm sorry I lied to you" and "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about everything that was going on" (Steve)
"We're sorry we only saw you as a monster when you were a victim" and "We're sorry we didn't try harder to save you" (the Party)
"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that" and "I'm sorry you didn't have anyone to turn to when you needed help" (me)
#billy hargrove#I'm having Feels#in many fics I read (and write) a big point is always when billy apologizes for his actuons#and like i get it#its a big step in the right direction#but it always leaves a taste of ash in my mouth when he's the only one to apologize because#he is owed some apologies too#why is he always the one to be forced to apologize#why is the pound of flesh always carved from his body?#ihni writes
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id like to apologize for drawing arahabaki as the most cliché hybrid of animals. i had a vision
#this was a very vivid image in my brain and it wouldnt. Get. Out#so to fix that i got it out#.....somewhat#felt like i should've made the legs longer. i'll do that next time#bsd#bsd arahabaki#?? or whatever its tag is#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#sodacanbonesart#my wrist hurt (2) times while drawing this. traditional art am i right#i am apologizing ahead of time if i start only posting art of arahabaki.
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toss, turn eleven times
#a doodley#ive drawn art to this song before it always possesses me#i was gonna make this a full + colored thing as an Attempt but i dont feel like listening to it on repeat for a few hrs rn ykwim#can only make it while im listening to it#i have other songs to listen to for 5 hrs straight#furry#anthro#fursona#adn its so real. turns out all my friends were right and i wont apologize for something im not sorry for etc
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this was going to be like a mile long essay but i just realized the most concise way to say it is that "it feels like a retcon that blitz has been so resentful and hostile towards fizz all this time since he was supposed to feel guilty" is simply not a good criticism when we have been shown, time and time again, that blitz's number one defense mechanism when he feels guilty or judged or attacked is to lash out, to deflect and ignore all his responsibility, and to shift the blame to someone else. that's like. his defining character flaw
#- and that's WHY it was such a major THING for his arc!! that he apologized to fizz and accepted responsibility for what he did!!!#like. the fact that he said; EXPLICITLY; the words 'you're right; it was all my fault; i should have done better; i am so sorry' IS#SO BIG!!!! LIKE THAT IS SUCH A HUGE THING FOR HIM!!!!!#mine#helluva boss#blitzo helluva boss#helluva boss blitzo#blitz#e: oops#analysis#also its entirely reasonable that blitz would have gone spiraling down the thought process that maybe fizz always hated him if he could#blame him so easily when fizz was probably the one blitz was MOST counting on to hear him out#and the fact that fizz went on and got SUPER famous and successful after he was no longer performing with blitz - who i'm SURE had#only been given more and more shit for not being as good as fizz as they got older (by his dad and by himself) - he probably assumed fizz#blamed him for that too - holding fizz back with his own poor performance#which is why his insults towards fizz had always been 'overrated sellout' and insisting he slept his way to the top with ozzie.#he'd tear down fizz's quality as a performer because BLITZ feels insecure about his OWN quality as a performer#these tags have gotten so fucking long but that's the gist of the essay i was gonna write about this fjfdjjfghf#MEDIA ANALYSIS IS MY PASSION
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'cause boys don't cry
#hello.#sorry for my last post :( heres a way to make up for it :D#byler#mike wheeler#will byers#stranger things#you heard of mike hugging and comforting will now get ready for vice versa. you aint ready for this!!!1#piano arts#anyway in this scenario i just wanna imagine maybe mike asking will to meet in the swings#mike is sitting on one swing inviting will on the other and asking him to listen to boys dont cry with him with a walkman he has on the sid#the music plays in the bg along with the crickets#the boys listen in silence until mike breaks the silence and starts reminiscing about the time between them#and starts to contemplate how things got so complicated so fast#and will coild only agree and explaining that he was right. its nc they werent kids anymore.. and change is inevitable#making mike go back to their fight in s3#mike starts breaking down in front of will with his head on his hands slumped over and he starts apologizing#he starts apologizing profusely to will with how hes been acting and hurting him#even when he didnt mean to#and he explains how hes confused. so so confused#and he doesnt know what to do#will could do nothing but listen and bring him into a hug as the last verse of boys dont cry plays#and they remain like that for the entire night#basking in each others presence.
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its really shocking to see people who make fun of me COMPLETELY tuck their tail between their legs after finding out im disabled. because quite frankly, making fun of someone isnt okay even if they have no "real reason" for being like that.
#someone called me stupid for practicing 2nd grade math. he only apologized AFTER i explained i have a learning disorder.#“why do you walk like that lmao its weird” im disabled you dipshit#actually autistic#autistic things#autism#invisible disability#disability rights#physical disability#disabled#disability#asd#neurodivergent
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Listening to instrumentals from the silly doo-wee-ooo show is actually something that can be so painful.
#doctor who#doctor who music#murray gold#segun akinola#musings about music#this is specifically about 10's theme in vale decem. the long song in 11's regen piece. and clara's theme in face the raven / clara's diner#i get psychic damage everytime i simply hear the use of the motifs elsewhere because of the tragic associations those sadder renditions hav#obviously these songs aren't the only examples in doctor who but they are by far the most emotionally devastating ones for me personally#and obviously it isn't just leitmotifs either. basically hearing any piece that played during a sad scene gets to me.#how are you supposed to explain to your coworkers that you're tearing up because of instrumental sound association?#'yeah sorry these violins and humming sounds summoned vivid images of my favourite character dying/leaving and it made me sad'#love that composers can just straight up pavlov bell your emotions by getting you to associate a melody with a sad scene#an addition to this is doctor who instrumentals that make me nostalgic because I associate them with my own past#like 'this is gallifrey: our childhood. our home'. that song was one of my alarms for a good long while back when i was 15ish#so it kinda transports me back to that time in my life whenever i hear it. music really is its own little kind of time travel#i am very much looking forward to the continuing psychological damage murray gold will inflict upon me in the new season#and to have previously uplifting character leitmotifs used against me and forever be contaminated with sad feelings. love to see it#(also: not a instrumental but damn 'the stowaway' has no right being as good as it is. who knew a christmas sea shanty could sound so great#apologies for this probably niche-ish post (is it niche to know ost title's by heart? asking for friend). just feeling things about music
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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imagine holding your f/o when they need comfort from their lover (even if they don't make it known and/or try to deny it). they feel safe in your presence and can finally let their walls down and release all of their pent-up emotions while in your embrace.
#my favorite war criminal <3 would sometimes avoid letting herself let her emotions out#half the time its because her mission takes priority and she wants to avoid distractions and the other times she denies she needs it#when she first came back to the citadel after she died and got brought back she shoved all her emotions down when she saw me again#a friend of hers convinced her to go over to me while i was watching skycars go past in the market area#she came up right next to me and said my name quietly to get my attention - all i could do was stare at her confused#she started to stumble out what happened and to tell me everything but she started talking too fast and the tears made it worse#i pulled her close to me and told her it was a story for another time while she mumbled apologies into my neck#she held on to me like i was going to disappear into thin air#during the war she just refuses to give herself a moment's rest since the galaxy is depending on her to save it#she always tells me her emotions can wait and goes off on her next important mission#unless we're all alone between missions she won't let her emotions out as they could compromise the task at hand#if those conditions are met she finally lets her emotions out while i hold her close to me for as long as i can#corporate necromancer has a hard time letting her walls down and at one point it caused an argument between the two of us#she doesn't like/want people to see the vulnerable side of her#she thinks it'll make people think less of her or make her look weaker#she slowly opens up to me and after some time she doesn't keep her walls up around me#its hard for her to admit she wants to be held while she lets her emotions out but one of the times she did was before the o4 relay mission#oops only two characters on this one since i have too many thoughts on this#f/o imagines#imagine your f/o
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if ppl telling you "jewish ppl in israel were already kicked out of other countries and have no where else to go" makes you feel compelled to call whoever said that a "zionist", I really just dont think you give af about jewish ppl's lives quite frankly.
if your "free palestine" means "getting rid" of all jewish civilians in israel I think you're probably just a heartless asshole.
#two state solution ftw#or at least something along those lines#yelling at average jewish ppl who ARENT in israel is antisemitic#anti semitism- no matter how 'big of a deal' you think it is naturally makes jewish ppl feel unsafe by default#where do they go when theres nowhere else thats safe? you guessed it- probably to israel.#which is WHAT netanyahu wants. he wants scared controllable civilians to think hes the only one who can protect them#so you being anti semitic and not checking yourself on it or being 'whatever its nbd' about it is making everything so much worse#STOP BEING SO FUCKING APATHETIC FUCK ILL BEAT YOU UP TO MAKE YOU FEEL SOMETHING IF I HAVE TO#i dont feel like i can in good conscious reblog your 'free palestine' posts bc idk wtf the op thinks about jewish ppl being in#israel. and at this point i dont have faith in leftists to not notice the antisemitism in some of these ppl and call it out#its not something we can 'push aside and deal with and apologize for later' its ACTIVELY MAKING THE SITUATION WORSE AND NEEDS#TO BE ADDRESSED RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#maybe jewish ppl wouldnt be calling it 'self defense' if yall didnt keep being antisemitic and making them feel like they have to cling#to israel to stay tf alive. fuck.#OBVIOUSLY the response to what hamas did is disproportionate and affecting more people than israel says it intends to target#but thats the govt. and actual regular people are worried about their families. its disproportionate and probably being used as an excuse#to genocide palestinians but this wouldnt be happening if hamas didnt basically GIVE the israeli govt the excuse to do it.#free palestine. from hamas and from the israeli govt. and dont have genocidal intent toward jewish ppl.#thats all i want.#hamas' escalation did nothing but hurt everyone and make things worse especially for palestinians.
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Why is statistics so tediousssss. Easily the most tedious part in any project is learning how to use yet another new package in Rstudio just so you can make nicer graphs. Closely followed by literature research.
I get it, statistics is easier than ever with most formulae being compactly available in a function you can just call but. ggplot2 and me? We don't get along, I can't remember your syntax. I'm going to let Github Copilot manhandle your plots, like you deserve nothing better.
#delete later#Vaxx is having a moment of weakness; apologies#My prof just told me “there's documentation on their github” and did the Tuxedo Mask gif thing#Honestly I feel like esp in sciences; if you aren't really like REALLY into your job; you won't make it far; you won't do well#What I do like though is that everyone above you is brutally honest about “Yeah I hate this part” and will teach you how to do it so#you can do it for them in the future alkjsdhakjshdasd#there's just too many frustrating things that make you want to quit like arbitrary formalia eg. which citation style you need to use#guys why does every university have its own citation guidelines whats the point in creating a “normed” style when everyone's using their ow#When a journal tells me they only take .doc files as submissions but don't have a template for the 500 format rules they came up with#Bonus if they don't accept .tex files; like why do you hate a streamlined work process; ugly pdfs from google docs is sooo 2010s#Medic was right; don't stay in academia; be free; steal a van; and start murdering people
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it seems people are already upset that tsumiki is not nice anymore, sorry you dont know her like i do
#cmon. cmon. she has every right to be violent#idk if i trust gege to allow her to be angry (which she also has every right to be?? her life has constantly been people pushing her away#and forgetting about her and her constantly being nice) but if she was nice even now it would literally make zero sense#thats not character development. its not even giving her character. its just megumi's perspective being right that shes some kind of saint#which is sooooooo boring like why would she be nice. i think she should be tired of being nice. i think she should go apeshit. as a treat#and there was so much build up about the curse put on her. making it just some thing like oh shes a sorcerer but shes not gonna do anything#about it because shes so good IS SO BORING#and really it would be unrealistic if she didnt harbor at least some negative feelings i mean megumi was always kind of an asshole right up#until she got cursed and im assuming gojo didnt pay much attention to her as he did megumi. and her mom left her for some shitty dude#why would she not be mad?? just getting stuck being a little angel after all that just makes my skin crawl#and if megumi only really considered apologizing after she got cursed i doubt he really did a lot for her when she wasnt.#so i absolutely think she should be allowed to kill people it would be a disservice if she wasnt and was just again boiled down to the#saintly girl older sister image megumi seems to have of her. so boring#or maybe its just me being an angry sister who has to be nice. but i dont really think it is#tsumiki fushiguro#jjk 211#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk#aricouldyounot#oh and before anyone misinterprets i know megumi had some psychology going on as a kid. doesnt mean tsumiki didnt either#or that she has to be so understanding all the time and not consider her own feelings. so boring. so shitty#it mightve sounded like a joking tone when i said she should go apeshit. but i was 100% serious#anyway yeah thats it
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Im going to attempt a brief post about gato's saturday update for those of us not on patreon. If you interact and have no age listed in your bio or are not 18 at bare minimum, you will be blocked. "Young adult" doesn't count. I encourage other adults to do the same and get minors out of our spaces.
Once again, I'm by no means an authority on this, I just want to spread information. I don't mind receiving asks about it, as long as you're respectful and aren't looking to pit anyone against each other.
Gato said this would be a long update she split into multiple parts, so I was hopeful it would include an apology. I'll say right now: she did not mention the accusations at all.
1. The game
I'm not going to post her full game update, because it's patreon exclusive and I'm not about to start spoiling YKMET. But the game update itself is pretty straight forward: she's worked on endings and more placeholders.
2. Website
She's worked on the site she hosts BTD on, and plans to have public update posts there. This appears to be the extent of her social media usage for now. If you've been worried about missing art of hers, she'll likely be uploading it here in the next month or so, but there's no guarantee you'll see a lot of her older art before the development of TPoF, if I had to take a guess. Maybe some art from the development of BtD2, but we'll have to wait and see.
3. Hobbies and sound design
I'm glad the absence of social media has been allowing Gato to be able to take on new ideas and hobbies outside of developing YKMET, but... this is where I started to get less hopeful about a public apology. All she talked about of note here was potentially making her own music and sound effects for YKMET and any future games.
4. Time off
I hope this break is good for her and clears her head, but there was absolutely no mention about anything happening in regards to an apology, or even acknowledging the situation. I can't fathom the idea that not a single person messaged her about all this. It's a bit chilling.
If anyone has tried to reach out to gato on patreon about this and gotten a response, I think it would be a good idea to speak up about it and to let others see what she's said, if anything at all. I hope next week she'll have something to say on the matter, but I'm starting to trust Gato a little less myself.
#Talking to the River#TPoF#BtD#The Price of Flesh#Boyfriend to Death#I don't want gato to feel pressured to stop patreon if people start crowding her DMs. its her only income#but I'm also really wanting a push for her to acknowledge the situation at the very least. this doesn't feel right to me#I apologize if the post seems rushed. I just wanted to summarize quickly as I'm at work#I caught the update and have been trying to analyze it for the last hour until I had a moment to make this post
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