#its just not for me and so the label lesbian applies best
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Tbh I've noticed I like men much more as a concept when it comes to romantic relationships, but I fear the moment I declare myself a lesbian a man will come along and ruin my dreams of living happily ever after with a woman 😅
u dont have to declare urself anything ! i promise ur dreams of living w a woman will not be ruined, if u ever fall in love w a man your dream will just change/you'll grow a new dream of a happy life w that person ! don't feel the need to restrict urself bc of a potential event in ur future. and if u only like men conceptually and don't feel attracted to them in any way, then it's ok to label urself as a lesbian ! labels can change as we change, and also many labels (like sexualities) are just tools that are sometimes helpful but rarely ever truly necessary :) ♡
#ive never liked men as a concept i think i just felt briefly attracted to some and then it disappeared and hasnt happened in ages#but at the time i also felt slightly disillusioned/confused abt whether its a good idea to call myself a lesbian anymore etc etc#i think the best move is to just . not feel the need for a label tbh#at this moment ive realised that after months of experimenting and trying to build up a healthy representation of men in my head that#its just not for me and so the label lesbian applies best#but b4 this i felt like being bi/unlabelled w just a super super strong preference for women was what worked best 4 me#labels are supposed to help u/serve u and not be a category that limits u ! its ok to not declare urself as anything#its ok to change ur mind 1000 times too ♡#anyway however it happens i hope ur dreams come true ! whether theyre dreams u have now or dreams u will have#in the future ♡#asks#anon
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[“When I first came out as a lesbian in 1971, identity politics were so pervasive that this modality didn’t even have a name; it was simply the sea in which every queer sank or swam. One of the key assumptions of identity politics is that we can reveal in one grand social drama of coming out the absolute inner core of truth that makes up one’s “real self.” Coming out is seen as a process like peeling away the layers of an onion or the petals of an artichoke. Identity politics also assumes that your political allies will have to be people who share your identity because nobody else could understand your oppression or really be committed to fighting it; that people who share some aspects of your sexuality but not others are either afraid to come out or traitors to the cause; that it’s not possible for someone to change the way they label themselves without being dishonest or cowardly.
Now I see queer politics quite differently. I know from personal experience that I can’t trust somebody just because their sexual preferences or their gender identity resembles my own. I know we can make allies who are indignant about injustice even if it does not impinge directly upon their own lives. I see coming out as a lifelong process that proceeds as I become ready to understand and accept aspects of myself which bear lessons I need to learn at different points in my life. Each new coming out does not recreate me as a whole new person; I think some people view it this way, but this is crazy-making and too compartmentalized for me. It’s more like being able to see each and every spoke of the wheel that makes up my being, or like opening up and furnishing another new room of my soul.
I wonder what coming out would be like if we were not forced into these defensive positions of tribal loyalty and us-them thinking. What if we could say to a friend who was embarking on a new coming out, “I love you, and so I must also love this new aspect of yourself. Because I care about you I want to know more about it. Let’s both learn from this.” Instead, what usually happens is a great deal of indignation, betrayal, and rejection. I think this is because a person who is coming out threatens the identities of former acquaintances, partners, and coworkers. If someone else’s identity can be fluid or change radically, it threatens the boundaries around our own sense of self. And if someone can flout group norms enough to apply for membership in another group, we often feel so devalued that we hurry to excommunicate that person. This speaks to our own discomfort with the group rules. The message is: I have put up with this crap for the sake of group membership, and if you won’t continue to do the same thing, you have to be punished.
We seem to have forgotten that the coming-out process is brought into being by stigma. Without sexual oppression, coming out would be an entirely different process. In its present form, coming out is reactive. While it is brave and good to say “No” to the Judeo-Christian “Thou Shalt Nots,” we have allowed our imaginations to be drawn and quartered by puritans. I believe that most of the divisions between human sexual preferences and gender identities are artificial. We will never know how diverse or complex our needs in these realms might be until we are free of the threat of the thrown rock, prison cell, lost job, name-calling, shunning, and forced psychiatric “treatment.”
I do not think human beings were meant to live in hostile, fragmented enemy camps, forever divided by suspicion and prejudice. If coming out has not taught us enough compassion to see past these divisions, and at least catch a vague glimpse of a more unified world, what is the use of coming out at all? I have told this story, not to say that anybody else should follow me or imitate me, but to encourage everyone to keep an open mind and an open heart when change occurs. The person who needs tolerance and compassion during a major transformation may be your best friend, your lover, or your very self. Bright blessings to you on the difficult and amazing path of life.”]
patrick califa, from layers of the onion, spokes of the wheel, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000
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(art from above is by @/sleepinginmute.)
Hello everyone! I’m Stargazer0001! But you can just call me Star :3
my pronouns are she/they/he/it/astro in no particular order. I like em all so use them interchangeably
I'm your local lil space critter, who has declared themself the CEO of the rainworld ship Stargazer (spearmaster x rivulet x nightcat)
I'm a silly littol spacegender fellar :3 How can I be lesbian and spacegender at the same time you ask? Fuck you thats how!/j Im also asexual so no NSFW please! This blog is meant to be at least a bit more kid friendly, even if there are more mature topics
I am also a furry so if you do not like them then please leave here
I am also questioning if I am a therian and fictionkin. I have done research on both and I am now taking them into consideration. Im not gonna label myself yet because I still might not be, but if anyone has helpful info on them then please do share :)
I have a secret draw box! if you wanna draw for me anonymously, you can go here to do it! I check every couple days.
Ask box: Open
Ship requests: closed. Uhhh i frogor to update this for a while so uh yeagh.
Ask me stuff: Always open unless the ask box is closed
Tell me silly things: Yes I want to talk to people!! Please give me silly asks i need them....
art requests: not open sorry :( artblock is blocking my art so
I wanna make my blog more organized now so I am going to start tagging stuff
#my art Art that is made by me
#Art request anytime my art requests are open I will tag it with this
#ask An ask that I have answered, this also applies to anon asks
#Star.TXT document this is for anytime I am just talking
#vent this if for anytime I just need to talk and vent about stuff
#lil starz art this is for my really old art, such as the ones near the beginning of my Tumblr journey
#Silly chat this is me and my mutuals little chats! Like if they send a lighthearted friend ask I will tag it with silly chat
IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE A CERTAIN TAG THEN FILTER IT
I rarely block people but I still will on occasion. Please don't take any hard feelings if I do block you.
Basic DNI such as NSFW blogs, homophobes, transphobes, fatphobes, racists, antifurries and antitherians, and zionists
Cool moots who you should go check out if you like my blog:
@critter2: My IRL bestie that ive been with for a long time. We've been together through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. The bestie ever :3
@cookieeevee: An amazing friend! The first person to ever really DM me on here and I'd like to say that we've grown to be good friends. We have amazing little chats and she's an amazing person! Their art is also so soft and squishable! Go check em out
@sleepinginmute: one of my first moots! Such an amazing and silly creature. Its art is amazing, and even though im unsure if it considers me a friend, I know that I do. I really do wish the best for it and I hope that it can be truly happy someday
@cumulusbrume: we dont interact very often anymore, but I still find him a great moot to this day
@athofear: I fun lil fello!! Always a fun time interacting with em. Their art is also superrr shaped and silly!! Always a treat to see them on my dash
@meowyncherry: we dont interact much but he gave me the kinitopet brainrot and their art is also super blorbo so :3
@suburbandrifts: once again, we dont interact very often but they seem very cool and silly/pos and their art is incredibly good! mm the colors are coloring/pos
@weeeeblr:!!! The art ever actually!!! Idk how we're mutuals cause hes super cool actually. Great art, and his designs for basically everything is peak/srs
@bananacat76: the bestie does indeed make art!!! And said art is amazing!! Such a cool person and fren :3 their style is also incredibly interesting I need to study it under a microscope/aff
@keeper-of-magic:!!! Cool person alert!!! Their art is amazing and their worldbuiding skills are super awesome!!! I also gotta try and play DND with them sometime.... I have no idea how to but it seems fun, just like them!
@badgerfrost: the silly ever!!! Its art is very well colored and its basically eye candy at this point, and ever time we interact I KNOW its gonna be a goood time
@draagu: ohhhh the silly!!! We dont interact much but shes a super cool moot and idk how we're mutuals like. ??? awesome person with awesome art FOLLOWED ME????? Awesome
@dazzoot: we have interacted a total of like 1 time but cool mutual deserves an honorary tag
GO CHECK ALL OF THESE SILLY PPL OUT!!! THEY'RE AWESOME :333 (if I forgor anyone i am so sorry. Also if you want me to untag you just ask. I dont wanna make anyone uncomfy)
Talking to people spooks me
I have anxiety so please be patient with me, I usually overthink what I am going to say and then end up saying something either really stupid, kinda weird, or I just don't respond.
I am mentally a 5 year old so please inform me if I did something wrong, I usually wont notice or I will think its not an issue. Please be patient with me.
if you sat through all of that, congrats! You get rw gifs now :)
#Intro#rainworld#rainworld downpour#rw shipping#hiii#tag navigation ->#my art#Art request#ask#Star.TXT document#vent#lil starz art
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Hi again! I was the OG anon XD. Anyways, I hope ur doing well and all. Drink a cup of water and rest some- I know this may not apply to you, but still. :) Anyways, I came to rant again and get your honest opinion on WHB. Like, I don’t understand the part of being inclusive with male players. Don’t get me wrong, like, I’m fine with the game allowing male players, but that’s not exactly an Otome game, isn’t it? Like, its not actually targeted towards women, and it’s irritating that many fans make MC to be genderless… Like, it is an Otome game- Not a game “for everyone”. This isn’t offensive, but this will offend others. Like, come on. If prettybusy wanted a game for women, it should be for women- Sorry if I offend you, I just can’t shake this feeling off rn.
I agree with you.
Here are things to consider:
The adult industry(pornography(hentai, games, etc.) is mostly male dominated. There’s a 2% chance that anything even remotely explicit will pertain to the female audience. Go check yourself. Visit your favorite site to watch adult content and you’ll only ever find things for males. Femboys for males, Lesbians for males, despite being lesbians, men fetishize them. Also, thus, there’s more gay porn for men than there is straight porn for women. It’s rare you’ll ever find porn female-centered.
Hentai games like What in “hell” is bad? always include male players. If it’s explicit, expect it to be for males, because apparently “more men watch porn”.
Hentai games, which are usually for males and are as proven many times, never include female players. You’re always playing this man who may or may not be an average joe, have a beer belly, may have dark skin or a blank face, or even a normal creep. Despite this, he manages to snag his harem of women by doing minimal tasks. Like… Umm… Hello? That’s not how women actually are- I would know as I am one myself and so are you.
So why are female-oriented games inclusive but male-oriented games aren’t?: There’s no explanation for that. Apparently making something for half the population, women, is seen as so inclusive that men can also be included. That’s not true, nor should it be. That’s basically a way of looking over women and catering to gay men. I find it odd how there’s more inclusion for gay men than women. Like, there’s definitely more women on this earth. That being said, that doesn’t help women at all. Like, if you cared so much about making things female-orientated, there shouldn’t be a male option to choose between. I don’t understand why prettybusy decided that to be best especially when their games “are for women”. Like, not really.
Making the MC neutral doesn’t contribute anything to female players, because if it actually were an otome game, and, as prettybusy said something along the lines of “We make MC’s face blank so others can relate more”, then making the MC female would definitely do the trick. If they clearly wanted female players to “relate to the MC”, then being genderless is not apart of that.
Other issues include:
The point of otome games are to raise and boost women’s confidence and self-worth. And creating an explicit otome games creates a bigger message: “A game for women that they can safely, unforgivably indulge in their desires and fantasies without being silenced”. This problem is still at large. Looking at pornography, women don’t receive foreplay, reassurance, or even viewed as humans sometimes. “Big butt latina”, “Petite asian chick”, “Hot ebony does […]”, “Sexy MILF”, “Curvy white chick”, “BBW does […]”… There’s a problem with all of these. They all either are (racist) stereotypes or unrealistic expectations.
“Petite asian”, “Big butt Latina” are either unrealistic or contributes to a beauty standard placed on women. Yes, it’s true many Asian women tend to be short and petite, but constantly putting labels like “petite” on them makes other women in comparison, usually blacks, appear more “masculine” or “unattractive”. “Big butt latinas” is a VERY high expectation of latin women. This doesn’t care about the well-being of the woman, but rather that assets she may or may not have. Women are more than butts.
Ebonies and BBWs: Ebonies isn’t a name I, as a black woman, would be comfortable of being called. The word ebony means black, which is a pretty stupid label to put on black women. Not all black women are dark-skinned and some aren’t even near the complexion of black. Secondly, saying Ebony meaning “black” emphasizes the skin tone of the individual. That’s fetishizing. Black women aren’t ebonies, they’re black women. People don’t call whites or Asians “ivory”, just mostly pale or fair. BBWs are beautiful, but mostly in porn they’re fetishized. Many people often associated BBWs as “curvy” or “voluptuous”. Not to say they aren’t, but that label doesn’t fit them since being “curvy” is defined as having either an hourglass figure, sometimes pear. Which means, that “curvy” women waists are supposedly small. Let’s just stick with what plus-size women since curvy only ever fetishizes them more.
MILFs: We all know the “step-son” in the porn isn’t a step-son. He’s just an actor in porn that he wants to live out his “taboo” fantasies. This is fairly the worst in my opinion. This is the most unrealistic, but not the worst one of expectations from women since, not every woman you see will be your step-mother-
In conclusion: Women don’t have much for them and are often shamed for their desires or fetishized. Female-oriented games should be for females.
#Otome what in”hell” is bad?#Otome#Otome games#Female-oriented#Female-orientated games#WHB?#What in “hell” is bad?#WHB opinions
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Hey, fellow nblw here! I’m not a non-binary man, I’m just a non-binary transmasc, can I use the term lesbian boy/heterosapphic/etc? I know this may sound weird but I’m a man in the way Data from Star Trek is a man. Basically Data is an android assigned male at birth but he has no gender, but people use he/him for him and he may be perceived as a man sometimes but ultimately he is non-binary and everyone on enterprise accepts this. I want to be perceived as a man, but I’m not really a man. My attraction to women doesn’t feel straight cause I’m nonbinary, but it doesn’t feel sapphic either, it’s just… and i saw the male lesbian label and I’m like. Just exploring my options you know? Anyways, sorry for infodumping and you don’t have to answer, I’m sorry you keep getting hate. I’m auDHD so 😅
male lesbian/heterosapphic terms can fit a lot of people. some nonbinary people are more "male aligned" in presentation as well. im actually nonbinary myself and really only identify as a man in the sense that im stealth irl and everyone forces me into the trans man category so i just own it at this point, its fine for people to apply trans man experiences to me as long as they are accurate to my lived experience, but in terms of my actual GENDER im masc/male-aligned nonbinary.
as for heterosapphic, anyone who feels their relationship/attraction is both straight and sapphic in nature can use it. both me and my girlfriend use the term, for different reasons (shes a pan t4t lesbian dating a nonbinary trans man who definitely looks like a guy, and me because i date women and because of my background as a lesbian and current preceived heterosexuality, i feel that heterosapphic is the best way to express the depths of my sexuality)
lots of people can use the term heterosapphic! a non-exhaustive list includes:
-butches/trans men/transmascs whos relationships are preceived as heterosexual due to their presentation, but feel sapphic in nature (or just butches/trans men/transmascs in general)
-lesbians whos relationships appear heterosexual due to dating a butch/trans man/transmasc
-lesbians who want to affirm their butch/trans man/transmasc partner's gender without having to give up their sexuality
and really, for male lesbian, you dont have to be MALE to use that term. many nonbinary (or even cis!) butches call themselves boy lesbians or male lesbians because thats what they present as. a lot of "being a man" can literally just be being shaped like one, ive found. and theres affirmation in being read as a man when youre transmasc, even if you ARENT necessarily a man in the traditional sense, or at all. basically, you dont have to be a GUY to be a guy, yknow?
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ok so first and foremost i dont agree with ppl being mean and insulting you because thats not how you get people to listen to what you have to say so i am sorry about the prev ppl immediately going to attack you but im not going to sit here and minimize their anger because its not baseless and they are well within their right to feel that way. im coming here to try and at least offer my view as a lesbian, which i doubt will do anything but its worth a shot i guess.
i dont agree with the implication that 'bi/mspec lesbian' labels are not harmful when they are fundamentally lesbophobic, biphobic, and transphobic from the talking points ive seen, and hurt us. implying that lesbians can feel attraction to men is the same rhetoric homophobes push onto us in real life to try and imply our sexuality is a phase and can be cured. "you just need to give men a chance." yk things of that nature. im not going to dive deep into the biphohia of it because i do not live the experience of a bisexual and i dont want to talk over bisexuals but i think it speaks for itself when people are so adverse to the label. you must ask yourself why are you so afraid to identify as bisexual? lesbianism has always included nonbinary, trans, gnc, and intersex people. and if its 'too restrictive' then it does not apply to you. lesbians do not and will not ever be attracted to men, i know its hard to believe but yes! people who arent attracted to men exist! we exist! i feel people are so angry and emotionally charged is because we are tired. tired of facing lesbophobia from outside and within the community. sorry for the long ask i tried to keep it short and concise. all i can say is please listen to actual lesbians.
hi, thank you for not being an ass an providing an actual argument, i very much appreciate that /gen. there genuinely is a horrid amount of lesbophobia, biphobia, and transphobia within the community. i know that there are a lot of arguments that the mspec label contributes to such. i just cannot get over the fact we are having fights like this within a community that is actively being attacked so heavily as a whole, especially right now.
your argument's reminiscent of the idea that the pan label is biphobic. genuinely, some people just identify with one label more than another, and sometimes people feel best defined by a combination of labels. even if the difference between the definition of bi and pan is miniscule to you, it might be big enough of a difference to someone else for it to matter.
it's not about "fear" of identifying as a certain label, sometimes it just doesn't. feel. right. once again! i could identify with bi, pan, omni, whatever label! but it's just not me. this has been said before, but nothing about identity is simple. feeling like we need to separate each other all into our own little boxes is incredibly isolating. the point of having this community to begin with, is so we all know that we're not alone.
everyone's just trying to live their lives. you genuinely seem like you have good intentions and god, i KNOW that this argument's tiring, and i can't imagine what it's like to deal with all the other arguments targeted against lesbians in particular, and i won't act like i'll ever understand the struggle with lesbophobic arguments, since i'm not a lesbian.
but people outside of the community are taking advantage of this argument even existing in order to make life worse for us as a whole, regardless of whatever label you choose to use. whether you're bi, a lesbian, or a bi lesbian, doesn't matter to the people passing bills against our rights and healthcare and protection. any difference to them is equally wrong. i'd rather stand against that idea as a whole than go along with it to suit whatever i'm trying to convey.
i just don't want to cause people to struggle to be themselves and live their lives simultaneously. majority of us have that same goal. even if we don't agree with each other along the way, at the end of the day, we all just want to feel safe and happy.
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Hi there, is there a link to your about page that people can access via the tumblr mobile app?
you can try my direct About link but I don't know if it's readable on mobile, I'm a strictly desktop user and I've been here since before the site became mobile-centric, so I genuinely don't know what's accessible and what isn't :( my phone can't really run the tumblr app half the time, so it's not something i'm able to check for.
honestly it's nothing that isn't pretty much covered by "i'm here i'm queer get used to it" or looking at the political stuff i do reblog. brief summary being i'm nb, aspec, anti-terf, anti-swerf, anti-cop, and anti-harassment. longer summary:
I do my best to be an ally to jewish and muslim folk, but i am very under-educated in that area. same applies to mental illnesses. i was around during The Ace Raids(period of tumblr history where the site went extremely anti-ace for, at the time, no discernable reason. now we know it was general anti-queer getting its hooks in early.) and i watched the birth of the mogai community and the bi v pan debate. as a result my attitude towards identity is "you're the expert, just use whatever label suits you best and i'll believe you about it". i respect older/"outdated" identities and do my best to learn about queer history and incorporate that knowledge into my views. i can get kind of anti-christian at times due to the general trauma of living in the united states and watching "religious belief" become the excuse for massive levels of abuse and control, but i do respect people who use that belief to help people and push positive change. i view Missionary Work(i.e. going to another location and doing charity specifically to spread the word of your religion, like the god damn mormons are constantly doing) as inherently colonization and fundamentally do not understand people who consider it to be a good deed. i am against arranged marriage, but respectful to those who are comfortable in theirs. I support poly marriage(i am poly myself), and i think we need to severely change how disability aid is handled so that disabled people can marry who they want without losing their coverage and don't have to literally count pennies to make sure they're not over an insanely low limit. i can get kind of loud about intersex people's existence and rights. I support landback, but i am under-educated in native issues. I consider neurodivergency a positive thing, but i also acknowledge it as a disability. i consider the political lesbians of the 1960s to have been infiltrates and traitors, as their beliefs were foundational to modern TERF rhetoric.
I don't have a DNI(if some asshole decides to follow me they're gonna see exactly what i think about them very quickly, and if they stick around anyways, maybe something i post will shake their beliefs a little), but TERFs, SWERFs, nazis and MAGAs get blocked on sight. harassment will also be blocked and reported.
I am a strong believer in online anonymity; i don't think it's wise to share your age, sex, race or location unless it's something you WANT people to be aware of. I also don't think it's a good idea to share your face, but i don't harp on people who do make that choice unless they're underaged(and even then it's gonna be a very light 'hey maybe this is a bad idea'). double points on location, stop telling people where you live. that should NEVER have been normalized.
i'm also into a lot of fandoms, and i don't usually tag unless asked.
current tags: NSFC(not safe for crystal, basically any mention of death will be under this), Facepaint, Spiders, Cats, Horrible Things, Important, Signal Boost, For My Wife, Frosty, Crinket, and Awesome Music. if you dig too deep into that last one you'll find some OLD tumblr culture. i also try to tag for content warnings like abuse, flashing lights, and sexual assault.
in short, i think other people should be able to exist how they want to as long as it's not inherently harmful to others, and i love to learn more about the world and spread that knowledge. i'm gonna see if i can make this my pinned post, this is honestly a better summary of what you're gonna see on this blog than my about page is.
also, not the most important thing, but I do have memory problems, so i usually use Likes as a way to show myself i've already reblogged/seen something.
ff to block if this ain't your rodeo, and welcome aboard if you stay!
#about#also if a political post on this blog is more than 3 years old there's a chance i don't stand by it anymore#i have changed in the past and i will change again as i learn more about people and our world#i'm also a liiiittle suspicious of anybody who hates men just for existing#or makes their lesbianism about Hating Men when it's supposed to be about Loving Women#i had my hater phase too but like. they're just people?#i THINK that about covers it.#long post#oh yeah also i fucking hate Prev Tags with a passion especially after the update
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i don't have an actual tweet thing for batfam twitter au/dickwing au/whatever im calling this for today so here's some headcanons(?) for that au (are they headcanons if you're the one making the au? eh some of these are just headcanons for the characters in general so i guess it still applies)
-bruce has been batman for a couple of decades now, he started in his early 20s and now he's in his late 40s
-the public thinks of bruce as this well-meaning (albeit himbo leaning) dad whose trying his best. back when he first started being batman his public bruce persona was just very much happy-go-lucky himbo (how can bruce be batman? bruce doesn't even know how to tie his shoelaces) but he's now graduated to tired dad (how can bruce be batman? he has six kids to take care of and a company to run)
-and yeah six kids, duke is officially adopted into the wayne family in this
-no, alfred does not have a twitter. he's got too much to deal with already. however, he does know everyone's account information, so yknow, in case a masked vigilante gets beat up really bad then it's not like their civilian account suddenly stops posting
-and yeah alfred is alive. he cannot die. i refuse to believe it. i'm already saying fuck canon i'm not stopping now
-i've seen people in the tags asking/speculating about this, but i've been going on the assumption that each character has two phones: one for vigilante-ing and one for civilian-ing. if one gets stolen or hacked then its not like the thief will suddenly have access to their identity. plus it's not like bruce can't afford multiple phones.
-dick started dickwing because he was bored and thought it would be funny; it becoming a "well no one will think dick grayson is nightwing because they're dating" thing was 100% unintentional but also 100% the immediate excuse he gave when asked by the rest of the fam why he did that.
-dick is a theatre kid. which is obvious from the way i've been writing him but i felt it needed to be said again. i wanna say his fave musical would be newsies but i haven't seen newsies personally so,, i mean, of the musicals i really like and am familiar with, i'd say it'd be cats. now if you're familiar with cats you're like "okay yeah i can see it" but if you only know about it from that terrible movie let me justify myself: it's a dance-heavy musical with lots of amazing feats of athleticism in the dances. also, look up what rum tum tugger looks like in the actual show and then remember dick's discowing costume. i'm right about this.
-cass still doesn't know how to read. she uses a text to speech program to have things read out for her. she's also mostly nonverbal
-babs uses a wheelchair in this. i know some canon stuff does the whole "yeah but she got better" but once again i don't like canon
-no one in this family is neurotypical but the ones i feel most strongly about are bruce and cass are autistic and dick has adhd. pretty sure they all have some form of ptsd too but ngl that seems kind of obvious. and yes bruce being autistic is canon i love reminding people of this :3
-speaking of canon things i like reminding people of because it's often ignored in canon, dick is romani! and bruce is jewish!
-bruce, dick, steph, and tim are bi. or yknow, some kind of mspec, i don't think dick is a big fan of labels, steph probably says she's whatever sexuality makes her joke funnier, and tim is still figuring it out. babs is also bi and that is solely because my mom is bi and babs is her favorite character. cass is a lesbian and you could tell me jason, dami, and duke are whatever sexuality you want and i'd believe you. ngl i don't personally feel comfortable giving dami a sexuality hc myself bc i don't really like shipping/imagining child character in relationships but eh you do you as long as its not actually sexual
-genderwise dick is nb. i am nb and he's my favorite character. i have the right. he's fine w all pronouns but mostly uses he/they. once again he's not really a labels kind of guy. and yes i am still obsessed with that official post that used they/them for damian i know they didn't mean it but yes he/they damian my beloved. also she/they selina kyle.
#im not main tagging this one. this post is for the true fans /j#mini banger of a post#crazwaz posted#fun sized banger of a post#certified banger of a post
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MY HC ON SLASHERS SEXUALITIES
I’m gonna do as many as possible and if i forget some uhh tell me and ill add them also this is my personal headcanons this has nothing to do with what you can request, you can also have your own hcs
Also for simplicity’s sake i’m only going to use terms like Gay/Bi/Pan, but you can apply any label that matches that you think fits
Michael Myers
demiromantic/demisexual
I mean ofc mans has trust issues what did you expect
He honestly never expects to find a partner bc of his trust issues and short temper but who knows
Would definitely never make the first move, or the second, or the third
FREDDY KRUEGER
He gives me homophobic vibes ngl
But besides that id probably say pan, he cares more about the,yknow, than the relationship in most cases tho
He definitely has a preference for girls but obviously is open to experimenting, and has countless times
He’s not too keen on settling down but might if he finds the right person
JASON VOORHEES
He seems hetero to me, but mostly bc he’s never had internet access so he probably doesn’t know what gay means, also bc of Pam probably thinks its wrong/weird
If he wasn’t straight he’d probably be panromantic demisexual, if anyone wants to date him he’ll probably try it out, but you aren’t getting more than that without insane trust
Has no gender preference bc he probably already thinks he’s unlovable so he’ll take almost anyone
He’d also try his best to be a good partner but wouldn’t know how
LEATHERFACE
Poor boy just wants someone to love, but also someone strong enough to handle his family
He definitely could not give less of a shit about gender, if you can handle what his family does without running screaming then you’re perfect to him
If he does have a preference it might be towards men simply bc any woman he’s seen is tiny(compared to him) and easy to hurt, and he doesn’t want to do that to his partner
But his perfect partner is literally just someone that’ll cuddle a lot and maybe give massages after a hard days work
CHUCKY/CHARLES LEE RAY
Once again my first thought is hetero, bc Charles seems lowkey homophobic, but he’s also grown a lot as chucky
Also wouldnt surprise me if he said he was bi exclusively for 3somes, but maybe he’s actually bi
Would joke about being a lesbian but only bc he loves his wife and women in general a lot
Definite preference for women, “i mean have you seen them?”, yes chucky we know you love 🍒
PINHEAD
He seems like he just wouldn’t give a shit, so maybe pan, but also poly
Half of his whole thing is pleasure, so as long as he can provide that he’s not too picky, especially bc he knows his appearance is offputting
No strong preference in gender, or appearance, man could really care less about superficial things, he has higher priorities
PENNYWISE
He seems kinda gay to me idk man
Maybe its the fact that i personally have never seen a straight man wear pantaloons, a blouse and pompoms at once
“Oh but he’s a clown” no janet he’s a homosexual
He definitely has a preference for pretty people, he’s a little shallow but give him a break, they’re thousands of years old
WOMEN
ROSE THE HAT
Ok i think rose would be bi
She’s lived several lifetimes and has had time to experience it all
I think she’s fairly neutral with a slight preference towards women due to the tenderness that seems to come more easily from them
Though she has been known to experiment even during her relationships so i think she’s also poly
TIFFANY VALENTINE
Definite bi, 100%
I mean have you seen here in the tv series, or at all? She loves women, maybe more than chucky sometimes
Strong feminine preference, regardless of gender or lack thereof, she just wants her partner to be pretty like she is
Also if her partners fem she’d definitely do their makeup and share clothes bc she obviously has the best fashion sense
AMANDA YOUNG
Listen, most people think she has a thing for John but i’d prefer to view it as a father/daughter dynamic so i’m gonna say she’s a lesbian
From her own experiences men are more aggressive and thats the last thing she needs at this point
She just wants a cute girl that can protect her and treat her right
#slasher imagine#slasher headcanons#michael myers x reader#michael myers#jason voorhees x reader#jason voorhees#freddy krueger x reader#freddy krueger#leatherface x reader#leatherface#chucky#chucky x reader#pinhead#pinhead x reader#pennywise#pennywise x reader#rose the hat#doctor sleep#rose the hat x reader#tiffany valentine#tiffany valentine x reader#amanda young x reader#amanda young
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Pride Month Headcanons!
So its Pride Month! And as a proud member of the alphabet mafia I wanna give my opinion on all the Danganronpa characters' sexualities! So let's go, starting with THH!
Trigger Happy Havoc
Makoto Naegi- Pansexual. I'm under the belief all protags are Pan. Transgender(ftm). So I have this whole hc that the reason his door was jammed was that the lock was quickly removed when they found out SHE was actually a HE and I just like the hc lol.
Sayaka Maizono- Straight. I just think she has a big thing for Makoto, but other than that she cares for her career more than a relationship.
Leon Kuwata- Bisexual, heavy female leaning. I ship him with Hiro, but honestly this fucker would probably take forever to admit he likes guys.
Chihiro Fukisaki- Gay. Dont really have a reasoning. Just my opinion lol
Mondo Oowada- Bisexual. He mentions trying to confess to girls, but come on. This guy is fruity for Taka.
Kiyotaka Ishimaru- Gay. This dude meanwhile is just straight homo. He's probably closeted in fear it would bring shame to his family name again.
Hifumi Yamada- Straight. I honestly dont think about the guy enough to give this enough thought, but the way he simps over Celeste proves he likes girls at least. Plus he kept calling Alter Ego she, so...yeah.
Celestia Ludenberg- Straight. Honestly I think she'd be homophobic? Idk i really dislike Celeste, sorry 😅 She just gives me those vibes.
Sakura Oogami- Bisexual. I wanna label her as lesbian, but Kenshiro exists 😒 Women leaning possibly
Kyoko Kirigiri- Bisexual. Though i dont personally ship her with any girls, I can see her going both ways.
Byakuya Togami- Gay. And it's a problem with his family, so he's closeted.
Yasuhiro Hagakure- Pansexual. He just wants to love someone, man lmao.
Aoi Asahina- Bisexual. Again, wanna label her as lesbian, but the Bad End exists, showing she willingly got with three guys. And she does ask Makoto to pretend to be her bf. But she leans heavily towards females imo.
Toko Fukawa/Genocide Jill- Bisexual. It was straight until she met Komaru. Then she realized "Oh shit. I'm gay." But she still has a small thing for Byakuya ig 😒
Mukuro Ikusaba- Straight. We pretend the thing with her sister doesnt exist, alright?
Junko Enoshima- Straight. And definitely homophobic.
Wow a lot of bi peeps lol. Alright, onto the next game!
Goodbye Despair
Hajime Hinata- Pansexual. Again all protags are Pan. Fight me, prove me wrong you literally cant.
Ultimate Imposter- Panromantic, Nonbinary, Asexual. Though I call Imposter he a lot, I think it's almost canon they're nonbinary. I just have stupid brain and type he first without thinking. I also dont really have a reason for thinking they're asexual? I just think they are. But they're probably panromantic in order to fit their talent better.
Teruteru Hanamura- Pansexual. He's so painfully pan. He even says his options are, and I quote, "pretty open." Dis bitch gay.
Mahiru Koizumi- Lesbian. Dont think I gotta explain myself.
Peko Pekoyama- Bisexual. She's totally dating Fuyuhiko, but I can see her having small crushes on other girls.
Hiyoko Saionji- Lesbian. Also dont think I need to explain myself.
Ibuki Mioda- Bisexual. RAGING bisexual. Also I can honestly see her being Gender Fluid as well.
Mikan Tsumiki- Bisexual. She honestly needs therapy more than she needs a relationship, and she probably doesnt really understand her own labels completely, but I think shes bi.
Nekomaru Nidai- Bisexual. Homeboy was a little TOO eager to be rubbed down by Teruteru 😏 Just kidding, though I do think Nekomaru is bi. No real reason honestly
Gundham Tanaka- Bisexual. He obviously has a thing for Sonia, and in a perfect world(i.e. my perfect world) he would be holding hands with Kazuichi daily. Speaking of holding hands he basically breaks Hajime's in the FTEs. Gay 🥰
Nagito Komaeda- Gay. He's very obviously gay coded, mostly towards Hajime though I dont personally ship that.
Chiaki Nanami- Pansexual. She loves everyone equally. Honestly she probably doesnt put too much work on her labels and would probably go by any pronouns as well, so maybe Gender Fluid?
Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu- Bisexual. Like Leon I think it would take him a while to accept he likes guys, and he probably leans towards girls more, but he's definitely fruity lol.
Sonia Nevermind- Pansexual. Our girl fucks. She dont care who, she just FUCKS. 🤣 But seriously, I think she just sees love as love. As she should.
Kazuichi Souda- Gay. Transgender, (ftm). He's so very closeted, so badly even he doesnt recognize it. He probably even has internalized homophobia, probably because of his father. Not sure why I hc him as trans, I just think it fits.
Akane Owari- Straight. She probably doesnt think about it much. All she knows is she likes fighting, meat, and Coach Nekomaru.
Alright and onto the last game!
Killing Harmony
Shuichi Saihara- Pansexual, Transgender(ftm). Its. THE RULE. I didnt make it. Sue me. Also fuck it I dunno I think it fits with his whole character if he were trans. Hard to explain lol
Rantaro Amami- Biromantic, Asexual. I admittedly dont know much about Rantaro, but from what I do know, I think he would fit well with just about anyone. I dont have much of a reason for him being Ace.
Kaede Akamatsu- Pansexual. She was the protagonist first, so the rule still applies lol. But even beyond that it just fits her. Hard to explain, it just seems like it works.
Ryoma Hoshi- Straight, Asexual. I know on my ship list I said I shipped him with Gonta, but theres a reason that ship was so low. I heavily think Ryoma is straight. It's just the vibe I get from him. Maybe hes bi curious, but idk. As for the ace bit, it's really dark. I hc it's because of the trauma he endured during prison.
Kirumi Tojo- Lesbian. Idk I look at her and I think "Lesbian power. Powerful wlw moments." Dont ask me my brain just does things.
Angie Yonaga- Pansexual. She always seemed like she was flirting with Himiko and lowkey Tenko, and in the FTEs she straight up wants to get married to Shuichi so like....I dunno what you want me to say.
Tenko Chabashira- Lesbian. Literally no explanation needed.
Korekiyo Shinguji- Pansexual. Putting aside the....obvious....he finds all of humanity beautiful, so he most likely doesnt have a preference when it comes to choosing a partner. Just like with Mukuro we pretend that entire plotline never happened.
Miu Iruma- Pansexual. I see her as pretty open to everyone....Yeah. That's all I got.
Gonta Gokuharu- Bi-curious. Honestly I dont think Gonta knows what he is himself. He probably hasnt given it too much thought, if hes given it any. The best I can think of is bi-curious, assuming hes currently exploring his sexuality.
Kokichi Ouma- Gay. I dont ship him with anyone cause I personally think he'd be a bad partner to anyone he got with based off of his personality, but yeah. He gay lmao.
Kaito Momota- Pansexual. THE LUMINARY OF THE STARS IS FOR EVERYBODY! Probably took a while for him to admit he wasnt straight, but then he admitted it with his whole heart, precious thing.
Tsumugi Shirogane- Straight. Fuck I dunno I dont think about her in a positive light enough to care. Sorry I really tried 😅
Kiibo- Panromantic, Genderfluid, Asexual. Like Imposter, I've called Kiibo he all the time, including every story I put them in, but technically they have no gender. So that does make them nonbinary, but at the same time it leaves the opportunity for them to go by any pronoun they want, so I hc they go by all of them lol. I also think they just love everyone, and for the ace bit, unfortunately, robots probably dont have dicks 😔 Even if they did, I dont think he would be very interested in sex.
Himiko Yumeno- Lesbian. Despite her treatment of Tenko, her reaction at the end of chapter 3 shows she cared for her, and Angie. She probably loved them both, so, lesbian for sure.
Maki Harukawa- Straight. Kaito was probably her first ever crush, so I doubt she ever had a chance to feel out if she was anything other than straight. Even disregarding that, I dont think she'd be anything else.
Alright and those are my headcanons for all the Danganronpa characters! As a bonus, I think Komaru Naegi is a Lesbian! No real reason other than Tokomaru is top tier lol.
Now remember these are my opinions! If you dont agree that's fine! Just be kind!
And HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE! 🥰🏳️🌈
#danganronpa#danganronpa 2#danganronpa v3#pride 2021#pride month#headcanons#makoto naegi#hajime hinata#shuichi saihara#kyoko kirigiri#chiaki nanami#maki harukawa#kaito momota#byakuya togami#nagito komeada#kokichi oma#gundham tanaka#chihiro fujisaki#kaede akamatsu#tsumugi shirogane#kiibo#alphabet mafia#happy pride 🌈
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so first off I’d like to say that whenever I see “bop” I immediately think ”bird of prey” so there’s a new term to call yourself if you want
second off, i need some advice. so for the past 4~5 years of my life I’ve identified as lesbian but just this last month I’ve experienced a crush on a guy. he makes me feel like I’m a ya novel protagonist. kinda just lose my mind whenever he’s around. its a weird feeling and I hate it (especially since my first ever girl crush was nothing like this, mostly bc we met over the internet and live pretty far apart so I wasn’t seeing her every day)
so having a crush is tough enough. i don’t know how to react, how to put my feelings in a good enough space. turns out the “predatory lesbian” fear follows you even when you find out you’re bi and the guy you like is over a foot taller than you. and normally with something like this id ask my mom bc she knows everything. but I’ve previously told her I was a lesbian. and I‘m worried she might be confused. + im scared of myself for being a stereotype, you know? like the whole “lesbian becomes straight for man“ thing. i don’t wanna give anyone any ideas especially since I hang out in lots of male dominated areas. then again I’ve always had a problem with “ive gotta shatter all stereotypes about labels i fit under” and that’s why ive got such a perfectionist streak and a fear of failure. anyway sorry for dumping this on you but I don’t know what to do and it’s been on my mind
hi there! first of all, please don't apologize! i'm happy to answer these kinds of asks to the best of my ability!
second of all, it's totally cool that you used to identify as lesbian and now may have realized that's not the proper term. use whatever makes you feel comfortable!
you also need to know that stereotypes created by cishet people are absolute bullshit. you should be yourself and if people don't like that, fuck em! be as open about this crush as you want and people who don't respect you or see how cool you are arent even worth your time. (also, he didn’t turn you straight. you said you think you’re bi? he just helped you realize that and it’s totally valid! the hurtful stereotype doesn’t even apply to you, so i wouldn’t worry about it. again, not worth your time)
im sorry for not really understanding what you need help for, so feel free to send me a DM and we can talk about it there, if you want!
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My close friend, a TRA, has just gone home after spending the night and god did we have a deep and difficult discussion on women's rights and tran's rights... I love her and I'm so thankful she's happy to remain good friends and wants to plan to meet up soon, but we just really really disagree on this and I'm emotionally exhausted. She's so intelligent, but she is absolutely blind to the flaws in her arguments. Practically all of her reasons for disagreeing with me are:
dismissing the points without really engaging in them and saying that that's obviously not what's happening
saying that they're just headline fodder intended to cause outrage
simply stating that my point is hateful (rather than biological fact)
believing that a study should be dismissed because it hasn't been repeated/she doesn't trust the conditions it was conducted in (although lack of study into puberty blockers is fine🤔)
a seemingly willful belief that women can't be subject to male violence if the male person states they are trans
A general lack of understanding in the differences between male and female bodies and how puberty works
She got really uncomfortable when I asked her what a woman was. She tried to say it was anyone who identified as a woman. So I pointed out you can't use a word in its definition, and asked again. She said that it was anyone was felt more comfortable with the woman's shape or clothes etc. I tried pointing out that was a sexist assumption of what a woman was. Does that mean butch lesbians aren't women? She kept distracting from the point by implying I was only asking the question as an excuse to exclude trans women.
I also asked her why a 12 year old child bride was being married off and she responded "power and paedophilia". Okay, so why isn't it happening to 12 year old boys? If a 12 year old boy goes round telling everyone he's actually a girl, they aren't going to marrying him off. Apparently it probably does happen to 12 year old boys and I'm making a generalisation.
FGM. Who does that happen to? People with female genitals apparently. Why? "Power. And not wanted them to feel pleasure". Okay, so why is that not happening to boys? "Well it's happening to trans boys." Right, but what do they have in common with the girls? It's happening because they're female and they can't identify out of it. Apparently this argument isn't helpful because we really should be talking about the UK where this isn't particularly prevalent (which I wish I had countered now).
I pointed out the yearly stats for the number of trans people killed is actually mainly trans women who have been prostituted in Brazil and South America, and that actually the number is either 1 or 0 in the UK. Apparently she knows anecdotally that the number is far higher and thinks suicide should be included. I tried to point out that suicide isn't necessarly occurring because they're not being accepted as trans, but instead because they have mental health issues that have not been solved by transitioning.
We didn't get too deep into trans athletes, but she seems to think that oestrogen and surgery significantly reduces male strength to female levels... similar to how she's convinced that puberty restarts straight away once you come off puberty blockers. Completely misinformed on how different hormones and puberty affects bodies based on their sex.
She had no idea about the Karen White case. Apparently that kind of thing shouldn't happen because the crimes of the 'trans women' should be taken into account when they're transferred to a women's prison. I'm annoyed I forgot to bring up the recent ruling on this. I also tried to argue that a number of men were starting to pretend they were trans to be transferred and she again argued that the prison services should be able to separate the real from the fake, and she made a big thing about how trans people need to live in their chosen gender for a year before they're allowed a GRA so obviously prisons wouldn't allow it until they'd done this (laughably false). My point that the prison service can't make that decision without being labelled transphobic fell on deaf ears. I even pointed out that in California they out condom machines in women's prisons because of this and she dismissed it as something that probably got made up and blown out of proportion for headline fodder. She also seemed to think that I was wrong to point out that male people were more likely to be violent and that trans women were male. Apparently this shouldn't apply because they're trans women?
Oh, the best bit was when I asked why women and children should be subjected to a penis in a single sex changing room. Apparently "trans women don't go into changing rooms just to wave their dicks in people's faces". And rather than them, as a very small population, making women feel safe by taking a third option for changing spaces, women should accept them and deal with it if they feel uncomfortable.
When I pointed out that men will take advantage of the safeguarding loopholes created by gender ideology, her basic argument was that will men access those spaces if they want to regardless so it makes no difference. Which absolute amazed me? She was almost angry with me for suggesting the safeguarding needs to exclude some people in order to protect a bigger group. There was a lot of refusal to admit that women are more vulnerable to male violence and so need single sex spaces.
There was so much else we talked about and I'm proud of myself for actually sticking to my guns and having examples and difficult questions to back up my corner. But it amazes me how willingly blind she is. She really is spouting out the same lines I see all over TRA's blogs and twitter feeds without actively engaging with what they mean. She also said she thought she was being 'quite generous' with me about some of my opinions which... given she couldn't actually give a definition of what a woman is?
Anyway, we parted friends and agreed that we would exchange books so we could get out of our own bubbles. I'll read Detrasition Baby if she reads Trans by Helen Joyce. Hopefully some of what I said will stick with her and she will begin to question things more.
I feel like I should add links to all my above points but right now I just need a nap.
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god it still fucking galls me to see people say “people who say queer isnt a slur dont live in rural areas” like yeah. i fucking do. i live in a small nebraska town with 5k people max. i still hear “gay” being used as a derogatory slur way more fucking often than i ever hear queer being thrown around. when i was in middle school practically all the kids in the fucking school would call anything they didnt like gay. anything.
and you know what? me still choosing to use the term gay after growing up hearing it used as a weapon constantly is just as much a deliberate act of reclamation as reclaiming queer is. i don’t use the word gay in spite of its history as a slur, i use it specifically because i heard it being used against people all the goddamn time as i was growing up. it’s my personal “fuck you” to the people who made me feel like shit for not being straight.
so when you say “queer is a slur, use gay instead!” all i hear is “i don’t know queer history and i’m repeating t.erf rhetoric because i want to hurt people who i see as not deserving of being in the community.” that’s it. that’s all i fucking hear. you don’t have to like the word queer or use it to describe yourself. im not telling you to call yourself queer. if you have bad history with the word, fine. that’s your bag. i fucking hate the t slur and would never call myself that. but acting like gay and lesbian are perfectly innocent signifiers with no bad history behind them is just plain fucking ignorant. you accuse me of being sheltered for using the term queer for myself, but what goddamn world do you live in where you’ve never heard the word “gay” said by someone with pure venom rolling off their lips? what fucking world do you live in where even terms like “bisexual” aren’t said with violent intent? because i find it real fucking rich that you’re calling ME sheltered for wanting to use queer for myself when you turn around and act like gay/lesbian are innocent, pure, bloodless words that have no negative history behind them at all.
all of our fucking words come with negative connotations. that’s just a fact. if you act like queer is just such an evil fucking word that needs to be sanitized from our vocabularies while ignoring the bad history behind words like gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc, you are willfully fucking ignorant and i don’t trust you. especially if you’re claiming that queer is an evil bad slur that should never be used while at the same time having slurs like d*ke, f*g, or tr***y in your url. all it says to me is “i can reclaim the slurs I personally like, but you reclaiming a slur you like is not okay because i don’t like it.” and really, being honest, what i actually hear is “I repeat t.er.f rhetoric because i’m bitter about queer people that i don’t like so i’m going to try and shut them out of the community.”
if you don’t like the word queer applied to you, fine. that’s fine. i won’t call you queer. but don’t fucking un-reclaim my favorite signifier just because you personally don’t like it. queer is the best word for me because my sexuality AND my gender are confusing masses of what-the-fuck that don’t play nice under any specific label. i NEED a nonspecific label that doesn’t try and contain me into boundaries because my identity doesn’t fit any boundaries. not only that, its history as a slur is part of why i use it in the first place, because it is a deliberate act of reclamation. it’s the same as my usage of the word gay. i don’t use it in spite of its negative history, i use it because im trying to give the middle finger to people who use those words as weapons. i do it on purpose. i know what the history is, but by using these words affectionately i take away their power to hurt me. you call me gay? yep. bitch. im fucking gay as hell. you call me queer as a bad thing? motherfucker im so queer even my gender is queer.
now, always, and forever... queer as in FUCK YOU.
#sye's babbles#queer stuff#sorry about the essay i just needed to get some shit off my chest#as always if you uncritically repeat 'queer is a slur' fucking block me. get the fuck off my blog and don't come back.#i dont want you anywhere near me or interacting with my content. fuck off. fucking t.erf-rhetoric-spewing fuckheads.
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Idk if anyone else feels this way but sometimes I think there should be a D and we should have our own letter vs being under A. I'm Bi and Demiromantic and I think about how B is it's own letter and wonder why D isn't.
Ahh the acronym. The Acronym. We love it. (We hate it? …We have mixed feelings about it.) Performative politicians stumble over it. It's incredibly important, and its varied appearances can be rather controversial. As always, thinking critically about language and its impact is the key here.
The important thing about The Acronym, I think, is finding a compromise between inclusion and efficiency. And the best way people have found to do this so far is with umbrella terms.
Now, I remember being a wee ally in early high school (maybe... my early teens?) having trouble recalling all of the letters, and the usual order they went in. And that was when there was usually only 4-5 letters. It's much easier to remember things if you can associate them with stuff you know - so being involved in the queer community now means things like that (and strangely specific microlabel definitions, and random queer facts, etc) are easy for me to remember. But people who aren't so involved will struggle to find associations to help them remember. That's just how brains work. People also absorb small bits of info easier than large chunks - this is important to apply in activism and education.
Anyway, back to increasing the efficiency of the acronym while also maximising inclusivity:
So as far as I'm aware, and with a little extra digging (feel free to correct me with sources if I’m wrong), the LGB are there for historical significance reasons (e.g. gay originally referring to the whole spectrum of people outside the gender and attraction norm; then lesbian being adopted for gay women who wanted their own term to stand behind because of homophobia and sexism, among other reasons; and bi emerging when gay and lesbian came to more commonly mean just homosexual, so that mspec people could describe themselves.)
But generally, most widely accepted letters are umbrella terms! Like:
Trans, for people who don't fit neatly into gender binaries, or who defy gender norms and expectations.
Even bi, often used to refer to any mspecs (though of course this isn't perfect as many mspecs don't identify with the bi label).
Queer or questioning is about as broad as you can get.
Intersex, of which there are many, many variations.
And,
Aspec, for people who experience attraction outside allonormative expectations.
And... (at least by definitions; of course, not everyone personally identifies with the relevant umbrella terms!) demi comes under the aspec umbrella. In particular, I would argue that demi is really under two umbrellas. Like, you've got:
aromantic > greyromantic > demiromantic
So tbh... I'd feel uncomfortable pitching for demi to be included before grey :/ (if at all)
And as much as I love microlabels as a personal thing and to find other people like me, I also like, and place a lot of value in, the idea of finding ways to unify us more than divide us, especially in contexts where our activism is aimed towards people who aren't queer.
This is just my opinion though! I really don't think any (good-faith) variation of the acronym is necessarily good or bad, right or wrong. There are pros and cons for all of them tbh, and you raise a very valid point about awareness and inclusion of lesser-known identities.
As I said, this is my opinion - what do other people think?
-
(I doubt this will leave aspec circles, but just in case: Demiphobes and other aphobes DNI. Obviously.)
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different subject that’s heavy on my mind rn but since i’m already being harsh let’s get into it. i wish it wasn’t automatically presumed to be some kind of truscum attitude when someone tries to express that different parts of The Trans Community have like, different needs and different risk levels and different experiences and that we have the ability to talk over each other, harm each other, etc... like when i put it that way people generally are like ‘of course that’s true!’ but is it ever really understood in practice? a number of people (not a large enough number, but still) are able to loosely understand ‘you can be trans and transphobic’ when it’s applied to the matter of transmisogyny but when a trans person tries to express distrust of or frustration with afab nb people due to how common it is that that category of person will, despite being trans/nb, espouse bioessentialist, anti-medical-transition, radfem-adjacent if not outright cryptoterf rhetoric, suddenly ‘trans people can be transphobic’ gets applied to... the person with a complaint about transphobia.
because he’s clearly an evil truscum man! regardless of if the person making the complaint is a trans man or trans woman, oops, lol. he’s a bad person who is attacking and invalidating and totally hatecriming the heckin’ valid, equally at-risk transgender identity of “an afab woman who isn’t a woman except when she pointedly categorizes themself as a woman because being afab makes them a woman who is ‘politically aligned’ with women but she’s not an icky unwoke cis woman because they don’t like being forced into womanhood although Really When You Think About It 🤔 all women are dysphoric because obviously the pathologized medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria in transgender people is something that equally applies to cis women just default existing under patriarchy 🤔, and no, equating these things totally does not imply anything reductive about or add a bizarre moral dimension to the idea of being transgender, whaaaaat, this woman who isn’t a woman doesn’t think there’s anything immoral or cowardly or misogynist or delusional about being transgender, they would never say that because THEY’RE transgender, except when she feels it’s important (constantly) to make clear that she’s Still A Woman Deep Down Inherently Despite Not Identifying As One, and none of this ever has any effect on how they treat the concept, socially and politically, of people who actually wholly identify with (and possibly medically transition to) a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, be it ‘the opposite gender’ or abstaining from binary gender altogether or ‘politically aligning’ with the ‘opposite’ gender from their asab. never ever!”
and like maybe that sounds like a completely absurd and hateful strawman to you! but in that case you’re either like, lucky, or optimistic, or ignorant. i’m literally not looking at random nb people and declaring that in My Truscum Opinion they’re ‘really a woman’ just because they’re not medically transitioning or meeting some arbitrary standard of mine. i am looking at self-identified afab nb people, who most often use she/they because, y’know, words mean things, especially pronouns, so people who are willingly ‘aligned with womanhood’ typically intentionally use she/her (sorry that i guess that’s another truscum take now!!! that pronouns mean things!!! the bigender transmasc who deliberately uses exclusively he/him wants it to invoke a perception he’s comfortable with!), who actively say the things listed above (in a non-sarcastic manner).
like, the line between a person who says “i don’t claim to really not be my asab because i know no one would ever perceive me as anything else” because theyve internalized a defeatist attitude due to societal transphobia, and a person who says that because they... genuinely believe it’s impossible/ridiculous/an imposition to truly be transgender (in the traditional trans sense, beyond a vague nb disidentification with gender) and are actively contributing to the former person’s self loathing... is hard to define from a distance! i think plenty of people who are, in a sense, ‘tentative’ or like ‘playing close to home’ so to speak in their identity are ‘genuinely trans’ (whatever that may mean) and just going through a process. they might arrive at a different identity or might just eventually stop saying/believing defeatist stuff, who knows. but there are enough people saying it for the latter reason, or at least not caring if they sound that way, that it’s like, dangerous. it is actively incredibly harmful to other trans people. and it’s fucking ridiculous that it’s so difficult to criticize because you’ll always get the defense of “umm but i’m literally trans” and/or “well i’m just talking about ME, this doesn’t apply to other trans people” when it’s an attitude that very clearly seeps into their politics and the way they discuss gender.
because it’s just incredibly common for afab nb people (most typically those that go by she/they! since i’m aware that uh, i am also afab nb, but we clearly are extremely different, so that’s the best categorization i’ve got) to discuss gender in moralized terms, with the excuse of patriarchy/misogyny existing, which of course adds another difficult dimension to trying to criticize this because it gets the response of “don’t act like misandry is real” (it’s not, but being a dick still is) and “boohoo, let women complain about their oppressors” (this goes beyond ‘complaining’). a deliberate revocation of empathy/sympathy/compassion from men and projection of inherently malicious/brutish/cruel intent onto men (not solely in the justified generalizations ‘men suck/are dangerous’, but in specific interactions too) underpin a whole fucking lot of popular posts/discussions online, whether they’re political or casual/social, and it absolutely influences how people conceptualize and feel about transness.
because ‘maleness is evil’ is still shitty politics even when you’ve slightly reframed it from the terf ‘trans women are evil because they’re Really Men and can never escape being horrific soulless brutes just as women can never escape being fragile morally superior flowers’ to the tumblr shethey “trans women who are out to me/unclockable are tolerable i guess because they’re women and women are good; anyone i personally presume to be a cis man, though, is still automatically evil, and saying trans men are Just As Bad is progressive of me, and it’s totally unrelated and apolitical that i think we should expand the concept of afab lesbianism so broadly that you can now be basically indistinguishable from trans men on literally every single level except for a declaration of ‘but i would never claim to be a man because i’m secure in the Innate Womanhood of the body i was born into, even as i medically alter that body because it causes me great gendered discomfort.’ none of this at all indicates that i feel there’s an immense moral/political gap between being an afab nb lesbian vs a straight trans man! it says nothing at all about my concept of ‘maleness’ and there’s no way this rhetoric bleeds into my perception of trans women and no way loudly talking about all this could keep trans people around me self-loathing and closeted, because i’m Literally Trans and Not A Terf!”
again, if that sounds like a hateful strawman, sorry but it’s not. i guess i’m supposed to be like ‘all of the many people ive seen saying these shitty things is an evil outlier who Doesn’t Count, and it’s not fair to the broad identity of afab shethey to not believe that every person who doesn’t outright say terfy enough things is a perfectly earnest valid accepting trans person who’s beyond criticism’ but like. this cannot be about broad validation. this can’t be about discarding all the bad apples as not really part of the group. we can’t be walking on eggshells to coddle what are essentially, in the end, Cis Feelings, because in the best cases this kind of rhetoric comes from naive people who are early and uncertain in their gender journey or whatever and are in the process of unraveling internalized transphobia, and in the easily observable worst cases these people are very literally redefining shit so that ‘actually all afab women are trans, spiritually, all afabs have dysphoria, we are all Equally oppressed by Males uh i mean cis men <3’ because, let’s be honest, they know that the moment they call themselves trans they get to say whatever they want about gender no matter how harmful it is to the rest of us. and those ideas spread like wildfire through the afab shethey “woman that’s not a woman” community that frankly greatly outnumbers other types of trans people online, because many of those people just do not have the experiences that lead you to really understand this shit and have to push back against concepts of gender that actively harm you as a trans person.
like that’s all i want to be able to say, is Things Are Different For Different Groups. and a willful ignorance of these differences leads to bad rhetoric controlling the overall discourse which gets people hurt. and even when concepts arise from it that seem positive and helpful and inclusive, in practice or in origin those ideas can still be upholding shit that gets other people hurt. like, i don’t doubt that many people are very straightforwardly happy and comfortable with an identity like ‘afab nb lesbian on testosterone’ and it would be ridiculous and hypocritical for me, ‘afab nb who wants to pass as a guy so he can comfortably wear skirts again,’ to act like that’s something that can’t or shouldn’t exist. it’s not about the identity itself, it’s about the politics that are popular within its community, and how the use of identities as moral labels with like, fucking pokemon type interactions for oppression effectiveness which directly informs the moral correctness of your every opinion and your very existence, is a shitty practice that gets people hurt and leads us to revoke empathy from each other.
like. sorry this is all over the place and long and probably still sounds evil because i haven’t thought through and disclaimered every single statement. but i’m like exhausted from living with this self-conscious guilt that maybe i’ve turned into a horrible evil truscum misogynist etc etc due to feeling upset by this seemingly inescapable approach to gender in lgbt/online circles that like, actively harms me, because when i vent with my friends all the stuff i’ve tried to explain here gets condensed down to referencing ‘she/theys’ as a category and that feels mean and generalizing and i genuinely dislike generalizations but the dread i feel about that category gets proven right way too often. it’s just like. this is not truscum this is not misgendering this is not misogyny. this is not about me decreeing that all transmascs have to be manly enough or dysphoric enough and all nbs have to be neatly agender and androgynous or something, i’m especially not saying that nb gender isn’t real lmao or even that it’s automatically wrong to partially identify with your asab; this is not me saying you can only medically transition for specific traditional reasons or that you don’t get a say on anything if you aren’t medically transitioning for whatever reason, now or ever. i just. want to be allowed to be frank about how... when there’s different experiences in a community we should like. acknowledge those differences and be willing to say that sometimes people don’t know what they’re talking about or that what they’re saying is harmful. without the primary concern being whether people will feel invalidated by being told so. because these are like, real issues, that are more important than politely including everyone, because that method is just getting vulnerable people drowned out constantly.
#source on much of this: existing as a transmasc on tumblr for years and years.#i stopped identifying as any sort of 'woman-aligned' pretty much right before the ridiculous 'all afabs are dysphoric' stuff#but it sure did still make me hate myself and feel like a silly cowardly ugly little girl for wanting to transition!#and back when i WAS a she/they i definitely was falling for 'men are bad maleness is bad always inherently :)' rhetoric#not in the modern form outlined above but in the like. brainlessly parroted from 'baeddel tumblr' form#which was still like 'you can escape being a Bad Person by either becoming or admitting you are a girl :)'#and the only acknowledgment of trans men in this ideology was like. 'well i guess they feel like they have to do that :\'#'too bad for them. im not saying they shouldnt transition but you know. men suck though <3'#it was bad for me it was bad for other people so im saying from experience. Fucking cut it out! the end
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“You’re just confused. Make up your mind!”
“You’re going through a phase. You’re on your way to being lesbian/gay.”
“You can’t be happy with me, you’ll cheat on me with a man/woman.”
“You’re only saying you’re bisexual to appear cool.”
Have you heard these comments before? These are statements some bisexual people may hear from both straight people or gay people. These are examples of biphobia, discriminatory and/or derogatory remarks, attitudes, or actions toward bisexuality and bisexual people as a group. Biphobia can be seen in overt discrimination or seemingly harmless jokes or statements.
There are many articles out there that talk about the myths and stigmas around bisexuality. This post will not elaborate on that topic, but takes this a step further to briefly explain bisexuality and ways you can be an ally to a bisexual person.
To start, Merriam-Webster defines bisexuality as being sexually attracted to both men and women. This particular definition, in and of itself, is often too limited to encompass the full scope of bisexuality. With the increase of gender expression, our society has started to acknowledge gender is on a spectrum and cannot be contain to a binary (man or woman).
This is why I appreciate Robyn Ochs’ (a bisexual activist) definition becuase it acknowledges the difference between sexual and romantic attraction (or lack thereof) and the gender spectrum. She says:
“I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”
Pansexuality is sometimes used interchangeably or alongside the term bisexual, as it implies someone who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to people independent of biological sex or gender identity/expression. It doesn’t meant the same thing, however.
So why do bisexual people need allies? Because the pervasiveness of bisexual invisibility and biphobia still exists, both within the straight community and the LGBTQ+ community. Despite making up almost 50% of the LGBTQ+ community, there continues to be minimal visibility, research, and support specifically for bisexual individuals. Many bisexuals report they don’t feel like they belong in either the straight or gay/lesbian community.
It is coming to light bisexuals may be more impacted by minority stress (the experience of chronic stress faced by minority groups) than their lesbian and gay-identified counterparts. Some studies around LGBTQ+ mental health show higher suicide rate in bisexual people than gay/lesbian people. (It should be noted that transgender individuals show the highest suicide rate within the LGBTQ+ community.)
There are also different definitions for an ally (and also differing views on the role of allies, as well). Some may view an ally as someone who is part of the majority community who advocates for those of a marginalized population. (However, you don’t have to be part of the majority group to be an ally). I want to emphasize that simply being sensitive to someone else’s identity is a great foundation to be an ally. You don’t have to go out on a Pride March (although if you do, that’s great!) in order to start fostering a mindset of curiosity, acceptance, and humility about those different from you.
There are three ways to start being an ally to people in the bisexual/pansexual community:
1) Don’t make assumptions
As stated earlier, perhaps the greatest challenge for the bisexual community is bisexual invisibility or bisexual erasure. Western culture is very much built upon mono-sexuality (you’re either gay or straight) and grasping sexuality on a spectrum can be hard. Additionally, Western culture often assumes the lens of monogamy when looking at romantic partnerships. Even if someone is polyamorous and has partners of different genders, there is still an assumption you are with one partner and your identity is based on whichever partner is most salient. (It’s worth clarifying that while polyamory appears more present in the LGBTQ+ community, bisexuals are no more likely to be polyamorous than gay or straight people.)
Bottom line: don’t judge a book (bisexual) by its cover (their partner or behaviors). Do not make assumptions about identify. If someone discloses the gender of their partner and it is either different or the same as their own, do not assume they are either gay or straight. Which leads to our next suggestion…
2) Ask about their identity
This can feel like an awkward thing to bring up, but I can tell you – it is better to clumsily ask how someone identifies than to make assumptions, which may result in discomfort, or further feelings of invisibility or alienation. Most people in the LGBTQ+ community will appreciate you asking how they identify (assuming it’s the appropriate forum for such discussion and you are not outing them without their consent). Your question can be as casual and simple as: “You mentioned having a girlfriend/boyfriend – do you identify as gay/lesbian/bisexual or something else?” Even just the simple act of asking this question shows you are curious about someone’s identity and want to learn about them.
3) Avoid asking questions you would not ask a straight person
There are a lot myths and stigmas out there about bisexuals. (This is a post for another day), but often the best way to avoid asking something offensive is to apply it to the majority.
For example, I’m fairly certain every openly bisexual person as been asked: “So which do you prefer? Men or Women?” (Please don’t do this!)
This is like asking a straight person “So which of the past partners do you prefer?” or “Do you prefer blond or brunettes?” It reduces bisexual people down to their dating choices, which is one aspect of someone’s identity and doesn’t encompass who they are as a person or what their sexuality may mean to them. Bisexual people may show a pattern of dating more of one gender than the other, but chances are, if someone identifies as bisexual they may not have a strong enough preference for one gender in order to feel that either “straight” or “gay” fits them. It feeds into the myth that bisexual people can’t choose or are confused.
Some bisexuals have been labeled as ‘going through a phase’ or ‘indecisive’. Flip this on it’s head – Would you ask a straight person, “Are you sure you’re straight? Have you tried something else? Are you just experimenting?”
Using this measurement (“Would I make this assumption about a straight person?”) is a good way to tell if you are asking something that could be seen as oppressive or offensive.
By taking the time to be curious and go outside your comfort zone, you have started to take steps towards being an ally to bisexual people. While this post is tailored around the bisexual community, these concepts and questions can be tweaked to apply to all types of sexual orientation, gender expression and relationship status to help you be more sensitive and understanding to those within the LGBTQ+ community.
If you are seeking a therapist who is knowledgeable and passionate about working with the LGBTQ+ community please reach out to me at 970-403-4173 for a free consultation. I work with individuals within the LGBTQ+ community and also support those who have loved ones/family within the LGBTQ+ community.
***
Arianna Smith Counseling LLC
970-403-4173
#bisexual ally#bi ally#bisexual allies#bisexuality#lgbtq community#bi#lgbtq#support bisexuality#bisexuality is valid#lgbtq pride#bi tumblr#pride#bi pride#bisexual education#bisexual nation#bisexual community#bisexual#bisexual erasure#bisexual youth#support coming out#support bisexual people#bisexual people#respect bisexual people#bisexual representation#bisexual activism#bisexual activist#bisexual love#bisexual pride#bisexual injustice#bisexual justice
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