#its crazy how much i remember i enjoy my own company
Text
Best kept secrets
Baizhu x fem!reader
Warnings: NSFW // !PSUDO STEPFATHER/STEPDAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP! don't like, don't read // modern au // legal age-gap (Baizhu's in his late 30's, reader's in their early 20's) // drinking wine // reader calls their mother 'mama' // petnames (darling, little girl / good girl) // daddy kink (u call him it a few times and he calls himself it too) // mentions of drugs and aphrodisiacs // begging // oral (m+f receiving) // fingering // dumbification // bad writing (was still finding my writing style as i began writing and its not fully proofread)
Word count: 3.5k... (jeez i went crazy)
A/N: HBD MY LOVE 🥰 I love Baizhu sm, been planning this bad boy forever. Please enjoy and make sure to read the warnings carefully and lmk if I missed something ❤️
'How did this happen again?' You ask yourself as you accept another kiss from the man you knew as your stepfather. It feels so wrong, until you remember how your own mother is a cheating gold digger herself. Virtually your whole life up until a year ago had been on the move. Your mother would marry rich men who owned whole companies or company branches and either bankrupt them and leave or cause a scandal so they go out of business and leave. Over 19 years you’ve had a total of 10 stepfathers and you've never been really close with any of them.
As far as you know, the most recent one is the only one out of your stepfathers that has more than one source of income. He owns the only pharmacy in town while also working as a doctor. It must be taking longer to burn through it than normal, you thought, since you're still there.
You feel as if you should be grateful that your mother hasn't ruined it yet, because you've grown fond of life in this family. Your little sister Qiqi absolutely adores you as her big sister. Although your not sure if your mother knows about this, but your stepdad, Baizhu, absolutely loves being able to spend his money on you. Whenever you get off work he'll wait outside for you in the car with your favourite music ready to play. He'd drive around town with you for half an hour before going to pick Qiqi up from school. If you saw anything you wanted while driving, he'd tell you to quickly jump out and buy it with his card.
“Sweetie I don't care how much it costs if you want it I'll gladly get it for you.” Is what he'd say if you tried to protest in any way, in the end, you’ve just accepted it as him wanting to spoil you. Baizhu was very different to any of your other stepfathers, for one, he's making an effort to bond with you..... Oh and he's young, well, young compared to the others. At only 35 when they got married, he was 2 years your mother’s junior and 17 years your senior.
The 4 of you lived a fairly drama-free life up until tonight, when Baizhu came back home after dropping sweet Qiqi off at her best friend Yaoyao's house for her very first sleepover. He came in and asked you to come downstairs and sit on the couch, saying he needed to ask you about something important. You promptly closed the game you were playing and put the controller back, coming down to see Baizhu in the kitchen with a bottle of white wine and 2 glasses.
“Oh? What's the special occasion, Dad?” You asked before sitting back down with him.
“It's about your mother, (Y/N).” You froze slightly, wanting to ask him if anything bad happened to her. However, before you could speak, he placed one of the full glasses of wine into your hand.
"Do you know if she cheated on any of your other stepfathers, like any one of them?"
“Well I don't know for certain, but I've got a feeling she cheated on all of them, including my father.” You lifted the glass of wine up to the light and swirled the liquid around before continuing.
“Right when she leaves them, I found that either their companies crumbled, or they declared bankruptcy. Some less than 6 months after their wedding. It's happened way too many times to be a total coincidence.” Looking over at him, you saw a small sigh leave his lips as his eyes met yours. The low light of the lamps on the wall adjacent to him made his golden irises glow. ‘Oh fuck that's really pretty.... h-hold on a god damn second, that's your stepdad your talking about, dumbass!’ You quickly shook the thought out of your head and took a sip of wine to distract yourself.
“Why'd ya ask?”
“I saw your mother with someone and they were talking about how long until they can run off together....” You always had a feeling she had an accomplice her little scheme, but a whole ass lover all these years? Baizhu leaned forward in order to put the wine glass back on the counter and shifted to face you.
“Thank you for telling me this, my darling.” Eh why the lovey dovey language? He seems to be awfully calm for someone who just found out what a horrible person his wife is.
“Dad.... now that you've caught mama, when do you want us out of here by?”
“Hm? Why would I kick you out, darling?” Again with the darling! Is this really how fathers express their affection towards their children?
“I-I just thought since she's cheating on you, you wouldn't want her or her child arou-!” He's laughing? How? You thought he'd be annoyed. And yet here he is, not only not giving a toss about the current situation, he's laughing at it.... Why?
“Do you think I'd leave my cute, sweet little girl all alone without someone that loves her like I do? No no no darling. Besides, this is the best time to show you something that I've been planning this last year.” What could that be? You wondered. Come to think of it, from his plans for Qiqi's birthday party to things he's overheard at work, he's never kept anything a secret from you. He stood up and retrieved a piece of paper from inside a safe in the wall that he hid behind his back so you couldn't see what was written on it. As he sat back down, you managed to catch a small glimpse of the contents of the paper, you saw your signature there and what you can only assume is Baizhu's, both written in black ink next to each other at the bottom of the page.
'Oh! He must be holding the adoption papers we signed after the wedding'. You had another quick glance at the paper again before he folded it up and set it down on the table.... What?? You must be hallucinating because your pretty sure the words 'certificate of marriage' were at the top of the page. Hang on, if that's a marriage certificate, then why did you clearly see your signature next to Baizhu's?
“Did you see it, my darling?” Baizhu's words brought you back into the moment at hand, oh, that and his hand resting on your waist. The small gesture causing a shiver to shoot up your spine. “You’re my real wife. And you have been all this time.”
“How?” The reality of this situation hitting you like a boulder made your voice go hoarse, coming out like a broken cry. How was he able to hide something so big for so long? “How did I not notice it?”
“I'll be honest, I only got close to your mother so I could be with you, my darling. I knew what your mother was when I saw her, now she's the only one in the dark about it.” Baizhu's voice broke through the stifling silence around us. This is so weird, you’ve always thought your stepdad was a nice man, in personality, heart and looks. And you’ve told your friends about how you'd like your future partner to be like him. So should you go along with it?
“B-But what about the wedding night? Didn't you and mama have sex?”
“Nope, she ran off after the ceremony, I spent the night in your room.”
“W-what!? How the fuck did I not feel you?”
“Not when you've taken the deep sleep elixir I put in your food. I’d put it in whenever I knew your mother was going out for the night.”
“Oh, so that's why I hardly remember those nights.”
“Fuck, you're so cute when you don't know what to make of a situation, darling. I wonder what your reaction is going to be when I do this?” With no warning, Baizhu pulled you closer, onto his lap, and kissed your neck. The bold action made you gasp in shock. While you were distracted, he took the opportunity to catch you off guard again and kiss your lips. The kiss was just as he was, gentle and full of passion, yet demanding. Letting you know that although he’s being gentle, he’s still the one in control. He’s holding you so soft and tenderly, it makes this kiss feel like a natural part of life. Like your forgetting you two had a completely different relationship before...
That's how it came to you and your stepd- no, your husband making out in the open space of the living room. :)
'This isn't wrong. He's my husband.' You told yourself as you kissed him back. The grip his hands have on the flesh of your hips was so soft, as if he couldn't bare the thought of hurting you. Which, in a way, was true. He couldn’t bare the thought of being the reason you were in pain. As the kiss deepened, he felt more comfortable in exploring your body. His hands gently glide up your body before setting on your chest. His hands circle your body to where the dress zipper and bra clasp were.
As his arms pulled you closer, his fingers grazed the bit of exposed skin, making you shiver at the contact. Pulling away from your lips, Baizhu looked at you with love filled eyes and ran his finger over the neckline of your dress before hooking a finger on it and tugging at the fabric.
“My darling, can I?” He asked, rather breathless from the deep kiss. You could only nod in response until you find your voice. That was another way that Baizhu shows he cares, he was patient when you couldn’t get your words out. It was a thing you had struggled with for most of your life. And although it was a small gesture, it was something that mama never bothered to get right.
“Y-Yes daddy~” You managed to whisper a response, your head already felt dizzy and the neck kisses didn't help. Hearing daddy leave your mouth must’ve awakened something primal in him. With a newfound spark of lust in his eyes and a tightened grasp on you, his teeth grazed the skin of your shoulders. You reached behind your back to start unzipping your dress, only for your wrists to be pulled away and held back in one of his hands, while the other pulled the zip down slowly.
“Shhh~ darling, let daddy take care of you now.” An uncomfortable thought came into your head; ‘what if mama came back without warning to see her daughter, clothes slipping off, on her ‘stepdad’s’ lap making out with him?’ But don’t worry, Baizhu has a plan to deal with her if she comes back early. There’s no chance he’d allow this perfect moment to slip through his fingers again. After he pulled the zipper went all the way down, Baizhu started to gently draw circles on your newly exposed skin. The heat building up between your legs was getting frustrating, so you started to rub your clit on Baizhu's thigh to relieve yourself. Until he noticed and gently held your hips in place.
“Darling, I thought you’d let me take over tonight.. you know what happens to bad little girls that don't obey their daddies, don't you, darling?” Baizhu whispered, gently kissing the shell of your ear before continuing, “They. get. punished.” Taping your shoulder blade with each word. Each tap of his finger sent electrifying waves of pleasure down your whole body. You can’t help but lean into his touch, drunk on how quickly you crumbled under his teasing. One thing was for certain, however, the pleasure you felt was unreplicable.
“M'sorry daddy.. don’t punish me, I-I’ll b’good, please..!” You plead, hoping he’d be merciful on you. Since nobody can blame you for being needy. After a few minutes of drawing circles on your back, your dress and bra went flying off you, yelping when the cool air collided with your breasts. Smirking, Baizhu gave your hips a squeeze as his lips left a trail of kisses from your jawline down your chest, before latching onto the hardening nipple. Swirling around it with his tongue, he copied the motion on the other with his fingers, tugging whenever he sucked. All night, Baizhu had been focusing on giving pleasure to your most sensitive spots, like he already had a mental map of where he should focus on.
While your attention was taken up by the stimulation to your breasts, Baizhu let his free hand snake down, across your tummy to settle between your legs. One touch of his slender fingers to your puffy folds sent you jolting forward into his neck with a moan. Thing is, that one touch was only light, nothing much to most people. But to you? Mind-numbing. Actually, you don’t think you’ve ever been this sensitive to anything before.... it’s like your sensitivity to touch became enhanced. Could Baizhu have given you something to do this?
“You like that, don't you, darling? Good girl. Tell me, who’s making you feel this good?”
“Y-You daddy, s’you makin me feel good”
“Good. Fucking. Girl.” With every word, he swiped the pad of his thumb against the nub of your clit. Your hips subconsciously bucked into his hand with newfound lust. Like your body was chasing after his touch after he retracted his thumb. Baizhu's fingers ghosted over the outline of your clit, prodding at your hole. Easing the tip of his index finger inside while holding you steady. When your body relaxed, letting him know you were comfortable with him inside, Baizhu pushed you to the couch so you were laying on your back with him on top. The hand that’d been holding you steady now moved from your lower back to hold your cheek softly, catching any tears that fell over your eyes.
“Fuuck, you're clamping on me so tight.. I’ve barely even started with you, never thought a little foreplay would be all it takes to get you begging for me so soon, darling.” Don’t mind him though, he’s just being all mean and teasing you! He began slowly moving his finger in and out, slightly curving it to graze your soft inner walls. He added a second finger gently, stretching them apart in a scissor motion and continuing to touch places you couldn't dream of being able to touch on your own.
“Fuuck~ ur fingers~ s'deep!” It almost felt uncomfortable, keyword almost. The tender kisses Baizhu left along your body made any kind of discomfort you felt fade away. That is until a strange feeling came creeping into the pit of your stomach. A twisting and churning sensation like a knot threatening to make your insides explode.
“Ha~~! A-Ahh! D-Daddy, feels weird..!”
“Oh? A weird feeling, you say? That's your orgasm building up, darling.” His thumb quickly swiped against the sensitive nub of your clit, “Now be a good little girl and cum for me...” Your eyes peeped open at his words, only for stars to invade your vision as the knot came undone over his fingers and the couch. Your fucked out expression caused Baizhu to smirk in satisfaction, taking pride in being the only person to ever make you orgasm; other than yourself, of course.
“Good girl... ” Baizhu glanced down to where you both connected, taking note of how his wrist was now slightly wet... Did you squirt over him? Or was it sweat? This encounter certainly left you catching your breath.. Your body twitched sporadically as your walls finally began to relax around his fingers, and you sighed in satisfaction. Feeling you come down from your high, Baizhu gently pulled his fingers out, awestruck at your essence which was now dripping down his digits.
“Daddy... love you” You reached your hands out and Baizhu took them in his own, helping your sit up and kissing your knuckles softly.
“Love you too, darling. Cuddles?” He asked, holding his arms out so you could come to him if you wanted. You practically jumped up and slid into his lap, burying your flushed face into his shoulder. ‘Oh, you’re the type to get all cute and cuddly after sexual encounters...’ Baizhu thought, but that’s fine, he’d give all the cuddles you could ever need if you asked. You feel him gently smile on the top of your head alongside wrapping his arms around your middle.
Of course, with all that Baizhu’s done for you tonight, you couldn’t just ignore how hard this encounter made him. His dick throbbed against the cloth holding it back, simply begging for him to do something to relieve it.
“Daddy, lemme help, wanna help it..” You attempted to slip off his lap to kneel between his legs, fully prepared to help him. But he tightens his hold on your body, preventing you from moving much.
“No darling, y’can help me from here.” Baizhu reassured, moving the fabric that concealed his cock out the way. It bounced back against his abdomen, splashing a little precum over his stomach. Your eyes widened, you’ve seen dicks before, (in sex-ed class), but nothing like this. His dick was much bigger than anything you ’ve seen, and certainly bigger than you think you can take. Noticing your unease, Baizhu gently took your wrist and brought your hand to touch it.
“Lemme do it with you, darling... help me feel good too, yeah?” With one arm still holding you tightly, Baizhu’s other hand joined yours, guiding you in jerking him off. Even under two people’s grips, his dick still twitched and pulsed against your hand. Biting your lip, you lean your head down to press small kisses and kitten licks to his swollen, red tip. You looked up at him, still with his tip nestled snuggly in your mouth, eyes trying to convey what you want; for him to use your mouth like a fleshlight.
At first, poor Baizhu didn’t know what to say; he didn’t want to lose his composure and ram into you so hard that it became more uncomfortable than pleasurable, but the look in your eyes conveyed that you were actually begging him to lose it. He let out a long, shaky breath before moving the hand that had been on his cock to hold your hair out of your face. He didn’t even realise he was holding his breath...
“Tap my thigh twice if it gets too much for you, ok darling?” You nodded and began easing more of him into your mouth. He almost couldn’t think straight with just his tip in your mouth, but seeing you slightly struggle to fit him in drove his size kink mad. Baizhu’s fingers raked through your soft hair before setting at the top of your neck, taking control back from you and moving your head along his shaft.
Muffled whimpers and gags mixed with Baizhu’s groans made it easy to lose oneself in ecstasy, so you never noticed the small commotion happening on the other side of the door; never noticed the amused smile on your lover’s face upon realising the trap he and the millelith set achieved it’s intended outcome. Not that you were meant to know about any of this anyway...
“Sh-! Shit, on your knees, darling” You nodded and slid his cock out of your mouth to get into position, obediently for your husband. Baizhu rose from the sofa, guiding his dick back into your mouth as soon as you settled down. This time, he allowed himself the chance to thrust his hips into your mouth, meeting the pace you originally set. His thrusts started slow and deep, becoming more desperate as the pleasure built up.
“god.. m’gonna cum darling” Baizhu’s hold on your hair tightened, pulling at the strands that were wrapped around his slender fingers. He had to lean against the nearest cabinet since his thighs were twitching so much, his legs might’ve given out on him. You have to say, Baizhu’s groans of raw pleasure were a melody you’d never get tired of hearing. Baizhu abruptly pulled out from your mouth, gently taking your hand off from his thigh to place it on his heavy, aching cock.
“Finish it off, darling.. y’did so well, wanna cum on your pretty face..” You nodded and dragged your hand across his dick, feeling the way the large bulging vein running along the underside of his shaft throbbed with need. You leaned a little further up, enough to press your lips against the sensitive skin just underneath his tip. Baizhu’s grip on your hair tightened as his free hand grasped his cock, giving it a few languid pumps.
“Keep still, sweet girl,” He could barely get the words out before the tight coil inside his slender body snapped. Creamy white cum painted your face in spurts and globs, a testament to the adoration that Baizhu had harboured for you for so long.
#omg first original genshin fic on here?#whats gotten into me 😱#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin smut#genshin impact smut#genshin impact#genshin#genshin baizhu#baizhu x reader#baizhu smut#♡Baizhu♡
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
ch vi. bruises
joel miller x f!reader x unrequited!tommy miller (no outbreak AU)
chapter six of chaser
warnings: 18+ minors please dni. ooof okay where to start, smut unprotected p in v, mentions of bruising from sex? fighting like actual real life fist fighting, rough but sweet sex, grinding, lowkey some cockwarming?? kinda unwanted kissing, tommy being annoying and somewhat overbearing, and unwanted touching, but not sexual. caroline. just, caroline. because she deserves her own warning for this one. no use of y/n.
summary: everything comes to a head at tommy's birthday party.
a/n: this is genuinely the longest part/chapter thing i've ever written so enjoy. tommy is really annoying in this one, im still deciding if he's going to have a redemption arc. sorry this took so long. as always, i love you all so much. MY TUMBLR LITERALLY SHIT ITS PANTS WHEN I TRIED TO EDIT THE TAGLIST SO IM SORRY IF YOU GUYS GOT TAGGED LIKE 400 TIMES.
if you would like to read more of mine: masterlist!
“What’s goin’ on?” Joel says, almost a whisper.
You’re still not sure if he’s talking to you or Tommy. You can't take your eyes off Tommy’s gaze. From the looks of it, Joel’s question makes Tommy more angry and way more confused.
“Joel,” you say, trying to look for any indication in Tommy’s face that he’s not going to go bat shit crazy. “‘S fine. We’re okay.”
But Joel doesn’t listen. Because he’s Joel Miller and maybe you can’t see it right now, but you can hear the concern dripping off his tone—an indication that he won’t ever leave.
Not now.
So he stalks towards you both and you try to shake your head no, and he doesn’t listen.
You can almost remember it like it was yesterday.
A few weeks back, the first time you invited Tommy in for a drink after dinner. Sarah was asleep back at the house, Joel was doing — god knows what. The sun was set, the mosquitoes were probably out, and there was a quiet, even maybe too quiet silence when Tommy pulled up to your house.
He had asked what the rest of your plans were for the night.
You had said nothing much, not knowing it was an invitation — he stayed till 2 a.m. that night.
But it was okay. Because he made you laugh and you enjoyed his company. He was interesting. Tommy told you about how he never wanted to go into contracting in the first place. About his broken bones, his all time biggest regrets, how he was smitten with his old high school flame turned mean cheerleader until graduation.
It was the first time you ever realized he was — well — his own person in the sense. Not just Joel’s younger brother. But Tommy. Tommy Miller.
Maybe in another life Tommy might’ve even been good for you. A perfect pair — a match. He wasn’t mean and brooding and he certainly didn’t have 12 years on you.
And he made you smile. And he was genuinely—genuinely interested in your life. Your post grad prospects, college, books, and even how you played soccer just like Sarah when you were younger.
But when he leaned in that night, closer to you than ever before. You froze. Like genuinely frozen, and you couldn’t even dare to look down to his slowly approaching lips, let alone how his arms caged you in.
“First kiss?” you remember him asking.
You had just stuttered out nonsense, not wanting to breathe too hard and run the risk of pushing your lips flush with his.
“I — um —” you nervously laughed. You couldn’t even think—not in the way you should—not when the first person that comes to mind when Tommy says, kiss is his brother.
He had leaned in closer then—more tentative. Like you were a scared deer in headlights or a frightened kitten and he was inching forward, wanting to move closer.
But you didn’t really do — anything.
And he had pulled back a bit, gave you a teasing look and a ruffle on the head and continued with the conversation.
In all honesty you were scared that he might've been inching forward to kiss you. The small fear settling through a slightly erratic heartbeat and nervous laughs.
You were scared then, but can’t really remember the last time you’ve felt this kind of fear.
Hurt, discomfort, shock, maybe.
And although it was being quickly replaced with anger, you don’t remember this feeling — this kind of fear. Not even the kind you get from watching a scary movie — where you can feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins and then dissipating when the screen goes dark, and the lights turn back on and all you have to worry about is if the scary nun from the big screen will appear in your dreams.
You can remember all the last times you’ve gotten mad, sure. Mainly at the Miller brothers.
But never fear — well, not until right now.
Because whoever that Tommy was is definitely not the same guy staring back at you right now, with a bruised fist, an angry look swirled with hurt marked permanently on his face and one emotion that you can definitely place behind his eyes — jealousy.
_
Some hours earlier.
You spread colorful tablecloth over the mismatched tables in Joel’s backyard. The string lights are being hung up, Joel stands on a ladder towards your right, the sound of a hammer echoing through the small backyard.
You pick your phone out of your back pocket, checking the time. You also find it in you to check Tommy’s texts again, but no other messages have been sent since last night. You look down at your phone — at the messages — and sit against one of the tables.
Yesterday:
You: can we talk in person?
Tommy Miller: I’ll see you tomorrow at the party?
You hadn’t seen the text until this morning, when Joel and you found it in yourselves to get out of bed, have a shower, and start setting up for the party. So when you saw it, you would be lying if you said your heart didn’t skip a beat.
You’re a bit nervous at the prospect. You did not want to talk to him at his party—honestly just trying to text him so that the air would be cleared for the party.
But his words echo in your mind.
“Just think ‘bout it before you say no.”
You let out a cursed sigh.
Tommy had to know. Right?
If he knew the dreaded ‘no’ was already braced on your lips he had to know. That this thing between you and Tommy would never work out. That you’re way better as friends. That it would ruin everything — the dynamics of it all — that you were smitten with his brother and you guys had just slept together for the second time without Tommy’s knowledge and that—
“Alright?”
Joel stands in front of you, dipping his head to see a scowl marked on your face. You quickly — maybe even too quickly — forget about the messages, hell, forget about Tommy.
Because Joel looks handsome. He’s always handsome, you’ve thought since the moment you met him at the bar. There’s something intoxicating about him, his arms, the curve of his neck. His brooding nature does him justice — a uniqueness about him that makes you want to uncover more, learn more, see more.
You remember last night—very vividly through small ebbs and flows of sleep. The moonlight seeped into your skin as you both rolled around in gray sheets.
It makes your cheeks heat a bit at the thought.
You remember everything. Every little detail. You don’t think you’ll ever forget.
You tuck your phone back into your pocket.
“Yeah, sorry. ‘S just…” you trail off, he nods his head in understanding, coming closer to you.
He braces his hands on either side of your body, caging you in. Your faces study each other’s mere inches apart.
“Tablecloth givin’ you trouble?” Joel teases in a soft whisper, looking down at your lips, then back to your eyes.
“Funny,” you say with a grin and run your tongue over your lips.
“You need help, baby, all you gotta do is ask.” Joel’s small smile plays on his lips for a fleeting second. You miss it as soon as it’s gone.
“Duly noted. But I’m not the one who’s been hanging up string lights for the past hour.”
He pats your ass a bit, teasing you and pushing out a playful sigh.
“Perfection takes time.”
Joel’s beginning to dip his head to kiss you, but you find it in you to bite back.
“And yet the left side’s still lower than the right,” you whisper, pulling your head back slightly. He turns quickly to look at the fence, but gives you a harder slap on your ass when he realizes the lights are, in fact, straight.
Joel chuckles, pushing off from the table, you turn back around to continue fixing the cloths, and look back at him over your shoulder.
He’s looking back at you too.
“You’re killin’ me,” he says, and you smile to yourself when you turn back around.
_
You look around the backyard and check your phone for the millionth time since the party started. You can hear Sarah running around, screaming a bit while jumping into the pool. But your brows furrow when you find that Tommy still hasn’t texted you.
You spot a tuft of red hair swinging through your vision and spin to find Janet Baker squeezing through the crowd.
“Janet!” you say, approaching her quickly. You’re happy to see her—Tommy didn’t invite many people you’re familiar with.
“Hey, Doll. Thanks for the invite!” she says, pulling you into a quick hug, but when she sees the look on your face, her mouth drops into a frown. “Sweetie, you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry. I—Tommy didn’t…I don’t really know anyone here,” you reply while sheepishly looking around the small, bustling backyard. It’s the kind of feeling you try your best to avoid. Like everyone is in on some secret joke that you have no clue about. Or everyone knows each other and you can’t even put faces to names because you don’t know any names—like right now.
“‘S fine—I’m happy to see you made it,” you let out a defeated chuckle.
“‘F course, baby. Charlotte really wanted to see Sarah,” she nods towards the girls in the pool, Charlotte’s red hair looking strikingly similar to the woman standing in front of you. Janet seems to be on her second drink of the afternoon, you saw her tipping back a solo cup out of the corner of your eye earlier.
“What are you drinking?” you ask her, nodding at her cup.
“Someone brought a fancy lookin’ wine I popped open,” she says, giving you a sly smile. “Why don’t we get you a drink? You’ll like this,” she says, you don’t have much time to react, she’s already pulling you towards the drink station.
You both settle into a comfortable silence, looking around the backyard while Janet pours your drink.
“So,” she says, giving you a wink.
“So…” you echo, sending a nervous laugh her way.
“Who’s that girl,” she nods towards Caroline while passing you a cup, you take a big sip, Janet fills it back up to the top without a second glance.
“Caroline,” you say looking at her and Joel. They’re talking to some other people, a small group of them congregating by the barbecue.
“Caroline…” Janet tests out on her tongue, willing you to continue.
“Caroline—Joel’s,” you can’t help but chuckle. “date. I guess.”
“That bother you?” she says, finishing the bottle of wine while the two of you walk back towards the edge of the pool so she can watch Charlotte and Sarah.
“Nope,” you say, and it’s not a lie. Sure, it might be a little weird to see another woman clinging to his arm after yesterday. But you know now. And that’s all that matters.
“Joel can—” you laugh again, “—Joel can do what he likes.”
Janet stops walking suddenly. You tear your gaze away from Joel and look at her with a confused furrowed brow.
“Sweetie…” she says with eyes that look way too knowing for your comfort or peace of mind.
“Janet…?” you say, though her gaze just intensifies.
“You mean to tell me it happened since I last saw you?”
Your eyes widen, a shocked look crosses your face and you quickly try to replace it with a bad mask of confusion.
“W-what? I—”
“Don’t lie to me, doll,” she warns, and she looks like she really means it.
“Janet…” you say in a not as effective and halfhearted warning tone back.
“Don’t you dare,” she wags her finger—a final warning.
What has gotten into you and why can’t you find it in yourself to lie to this woman?
“Don’t te—” she gasps, “Janet, I mean it. Do not tell anyone.”
She shuts her half open mouth and makes the my lips are sealed motion across her face. You laugh while stealing a glance at Joel.
“I told you,” she whispers to you in a hush, joining your eyeline towards Joel.
You stay silent for a moment, just taking everything and everyone in—but at the same time just looking at Joel. when you finally break the silence you’re a bit shocked at your question. You’ve never talked about Joel like this with someone who actually knows him. Everything has always been a secret—like you were supposed to be ashamed or something. You never were.
“How did you know?” you ask, hushed. You’re not sure she’ll even hear you.
“Would love to say it was intuition, sweetie—but—it was him. It was written all over his face.”
_
You stayed with Janet for the better portion of the hour, all through silent peaks at your phone to see if Tommy had texted you. When it was getting to the point where people were getting curious, you’ve just about had your limit.
You approach Joel quickly, you don’t miss Caroline’s stunned face but you really can’t be bothered with—that—right now.
“Joel?” you ask, pulling at his arm a bit, he excuses himself from the group and follows you towards the backyard's edge.
“Where the hell is your brother?” you whisper.
“He’s not here?” he asks, the same hushed tone also pushing through his voice at your question.
“No! I called him, but he’s not responding,” you pipe back while pulling out your phone. Though the lack of notifications from Tommy—just as before—tells you enough.
You both look at each other for a fleeting second. But the same worried look is probably etched on both your faces — fuck.
“This fuckin’ guy,” Joel mutters under his breath while pulling out his own phone and then putting it up to his ear.
You pace around the small area you and Joel are in, observing the unfamiliar faces.
“Nothin’,” Joel grovels, taking a peak over the fence towards the street to see if Tommy's truck has pulled up. “I’ll try ‘im again — just — you should mingle,” he says, still looking down at his phone.
“‘S fine. I don’t really know anyone here anyways,” you say absentmindedly, looking through your phone for Tommy’s contact and putting your phone up to your ear.
You hear yelling and shouting from the entrance to the backyard. You slowly lift your head, reluctant to tear your eyes away from frantic texts.
You spot him, in all his glory. Tommy Miller. Two hours late to his own birthday party—though he looks like he couldn’t care less, hugging old friends and new ones. He spots your eyes in the crowd and you can’t even be bothered to smile, a frown is almost permanently placed on your face—Late to your own birthday party?
He nods his head toward the house, a silent invitation to talk when he’s done greeting the guests. You nod back and turn to Joel, Tommy turns to everyone else.
“He’s here,” you say, pulling Joel out of his own phone, he does a double take towards the entrance and huffs out a groan.
“Goddamn idiot,” Joel says, running his palm over his eyebrow.
“I’m gonna go—” you say, nodding towards the house, towards Tommy.
“Yeah. Alright,” he replies, though he looks a bit concerned and unfocused, looking towards Tommy, then back to you, “You need me, ‘m there.”
“‘M not telling him about us on his birthday and It’s Tommy, Joel.”
Tommy—harmless.
Though Joel’s look sends a sweat to your palms for some reason. You don’t know why he’s worried.
It’s Tommy. It’s fine.
Right?
You hope as much as you make your way through the crowd. You beeline for the house and slip past the sliding doors into the kitchen where cups and bags of chips lay open and equally sprawled.
You can hear the door slide open and shut again behind you as you try and salvage the mess.
“Baby,” Tommy says, rounding the corner and coming close to you, “‘M sorry. The concrete guy was supposed to drop off the shipment tomorrow but he came today and needed a signature—”
“Tommy, it’s okay,” you almost have to will yourself to say. You also have to remember it’s his birthday.
He looks down.
“‘S okay. It’s your birthday. Happy birthday,” you reassure with a small smile.
“Looks great out there,” he says, fiddling with his phone in his hand.
“Thanks.”
You’re suddenly a bit nervous. You hadn’t really thought about everything that had happened when Tommy being late to his own birthday party was blanketing all the drama. But he’s here now, and you have no idea what to say. Maybe it would be better to not say anything at all—not address the fact that he asked you out, or you and Joel. But that guilty gnawing feeling eats you alive the longer you stand in silence.
“Joel helped you?”
“Yeah. I went shopping yesterday and dropped off the stuff here then we set it up this morning,” you say, nodding towards the backyard and then your car parked out front.
“You went shopping on your own?” he almost sounds offended.
“I wanted to go on my own.”
Tommy doesn't look convinced.
“Really, T. ‘S fine,” you brush off, leaning back against the kitchen counter and crossing your arms. He stares at you from the other side of the kitchen.
“Caroline here?” he asks, a hesitant look on his face as he switches from looking at the ground to your face—almost like he’s looking for a reaction.
“She’s out there somewhere,” you nod, keeping a neutral face masked with a small smile. “You should mingle. Just wanted to make sure everything was alright.”
But he doesn’t move, he just keeps fiddling with the case on his phone again, looking down to the floor—his feet.
“I— you said you wanted to talk in person.”
Shit.
You both look at each other, waiting. A game of cat and mouse.
“It can wait, T. Enjoy your party,” you say, gesturing to the crowd outside.
“Is it about—is it about what happened Friday?”
“Tommy,” you say, almost warningly. This situation is shitty enough as is. You really don’t want to spoil everything—even if there’s nothing left to spoil.
He doesn’t say anything. His thumb fiddling with his phone is the only sound coming from inside the kitchen. He looks at you, waiting for you to continue. Almost unbearable. You crack way quicker than you’d hope to last.
If he wants it like this, at his own birthday party, then so be it.
“Fine. I just—I wanted to…” you scramble for words but they jumble in your mind.
“I’m—” you fall short again. “About what you said. What you asked me. I don’t think that it’s…something I want. I’m—sorry.”
“You don’t think it’s something you want? Or you know that—”
“Tommy,” you say, giving him an awkward stifled laugh. Like he’s being childish with his response. Because he is. “I don’t—I’m sorry.”
He turns away from you suddenly, towards the window above the sink and just stares at it for a long time. You can see his chest puffing. When he finally turns back around, it’s different. It’s the Tommy you know.
“‘S okay,” He says.
Maybe he’ll get over it quickly—you hope.
“Are you okay? I’m—I mean I hope that this doesn’t change anything since I’m still gonna be around—” you lift your arm up to run a ragged hand across your forehead and through your hair, you don’t even notice that your shirt riding up, “— I just don’t want it to like—”
“What is that?”
Your eyes snap to Tommy’s, confused. You think he might be looking out the window again but his eyes trail to you, but lower. Like he’s looking at your hips—because he is. You’re still confused for a second, before examining your shirt, looking for stains or anything out of the ordinary. But you don’t find anything, your top spotless.
“What? I don’t—”
“No—” he takes a couple quick steps forward, into your space, you try to find his eyes—yours blown out with confusion and shock but his are trained and laser focused to your waistline.
“What’s—” he tries to pull up your shirt, you shove him back out of reflex. “You’re hurt, what happened t’you?”
He almost pins down your hands to see your skin under your shirt, dipping his head to look at your waist and hips and you suddenly know. You know there are hand shaped bruises littered across the skin of your waist, turning it deep purple. Handprints that match Joel’s exactly—almost like they’re burned into you. You saw it this morning. It’s why you didn’t bother to put on a swimsuit and decided to keep a top on instead.
What’s even worse is you know Tommy saw it too.
“Tommy!” you’re yelling now, fighting his grip.
You slip up, unable to get a good hold on his wrist like he now has on yours and he pushes the shirt up to reveal the bruises.
“What the hell is that?”
“Fucking—get off!” he backs away with your second shove, a different kind of look on his face. “Jesus,” you huff out, yanking your shirt back down.
You both stand there. A pregnant silence between you. You can almost hear the gears turning, he stares blankly. Putting it all together. Like maybe you’re not hurt, but you wanted it—wanted it from another man. Somewhere in the back of his mind he might keep wishing someone hurt you so he didn’t have to feel so betrayed. So when he asks, it’s like he doesn’t want to admit that it’s true—the quiet possibility of someone else in the picture.
“Who,” he says slowly, pointing down to your waist, “did that?”
“Tommy—” you say, but footsteps cut you off, you both turn your head to the entrance of the kitchen as Joel rounds the corner. He looks out of breath and his eyes flicker from Tommy and his finger pointing down at your waist then back to you.
“We alright in here?” Joel stands, hesitant, his fingers play with the bottom hem of his shirt in an anxious way. Like he doesn't know what he’s just walked in on—you’re not entirely sure you know the answer to that either. You aren’t sure if he’s talking to you or Tommy so you stay silent, waiting for the man in front of you to respond.
“Yup,” Tommy replies, too angry to be believable.
Joel looks at you but he doesn’t say anything. Not out loud.
No. You try to say with your eyes. We are definitely not alright in here.
“What’s goin’ on?” Joel says, almost a whisper. You’re still not sure if he’s talking to you or Tommy. You can't take your eyes off Tommy’s gaze. From the looks of it, Joel’s question makes Tommy more angry and way more confused.
“Joel,” you say, trying to look for any indication in Tommy’s face that he’s not going to go bat shit crazy. “‘S fine. We’re okay.”
But Joel doesn’t listen. Because he’s Joel Miller and maybe you can’t see it right now, but you can hear the concern dripping off his tone—an indication that he won’t ever leave. Not now. So he stalks towards you both and you try to shake your head no, and he doesn’t listen.
He stands beside you, putting a flat sprawled palm on Tommy’s chest and silently tries to push him backward. But Tommy breaks first, pushing Joel’s hand off him, staggering back while looking at you and Joel.
And maybe he gets it then, you think. Because Tommy lets out a deep chuckle—like you’ve got clown makeup on. Like he’s never seen anything more funny. He’s a lot of things but he is not fucking stupid. So he looks past Joel to your eyes. To your face, almost covered—ridden—in guilt and he can see everything.
“Really?” Tommy says, not sparing Joel a glance.
“You put your fuckin’ hands on her?” Tommy says, almost at a whisper which makes it all the more intimidating. You can see Joel’s back puff, his anger rising. But you also know Joel would never hurt his brother. Not on purpose.
But you’re scared. You’re really fucking scared in this moment because Tommy is entirely too worked up and you know whatever excuse Joel is going to say won’t help.
“Easy,” Joel says, his voice cutting through the tense silence.
You’re sweating. The hot summer of July in Austin getting to you. They stare at each other for a long time. Like at the kitchen table, like when you all first met. But this time, Tommy breaks, and his eyes flicker to yours, he takes a tiny step to the side so he can see you better.
“Is this why? Is this why you’re fuckin’—jesus, fuck. ‘S this why he went to get you a tire?” you stand, you can’t really say anything, your stunned figure doesn’t move.
“He hurt you,” Tommy breathes out, his voice almost breaking if he wasn’t so angry. You shake your head.
You both know that the bruises aren’t from hurt. That they’re far from it.
“He didn’t,” you reply.
“No, no, baby. He’s—you’re—” Tommy almost looks like he can’t believe it, shaking his head, switching between you and Joel. The look you give him shuts him up, and makes him back away, until Joel unclenches his fists and relaxes his shoulder a fraction.
“I didn’t really want to tell you like this, I was—”
“Fucking my brother?” he bites back, interrupting you.
That makes you a bit mad. You’re not in love with his attitude, nor his tone. It’s not like he has any right. It’s not like either of them do.
Joel moves to speak but you do it first.
“Don’t give me that,” you say, almost laughing, though the situation is not funny, not in the slightest. “We’re not dating, Tommy. We never were.”
Caroline strides in at that, looking at the scene unfolding in the kitchen. She stops short of the three of you, her mouth slightly agape. You roll your eyes, fucking perfect. Let’s just bring the party in here instead. You’ll give it to the woman. She has impeccable timing.
“Needed some napkins…” she trails off, holding the empty napkin stand in her right hand up so everyone can see. “I—I can come back.”
“Did you know?” Tommy turns to her, gesturing to you and Joel.
“Tommy,” Joel says from in front of you, a warning. Tommy ignores him.
“Did you know?” he asks again, Caroline stares back shocked. But she does consider it, rolls the idea around in her head before speaking.
“Them two?” Tommy nods. “Her?”
Okay. You really don’t love that tone. You silently chastise yourself for thinking she was nice at the bar when your first instinct was that she was a bitch—because she is. You were waiting for her snarky undertones or spoiled takes to show. You knew it was coming, you just didn’t know when.
“No, ‘f couse not.” She’s almost laughing, like it could never be possible. It hits you harder than you’ll ever admit. “She’s — you’re…young,” she says, looking at you.
Tommy gestures to you and Joel like he’s saying, well believe it, because it’s true.
Joel moves faster than you can comprehend. He’s got a tight grip on Tommy’s arm. He probably doesn’t even have to say anything, Tommy knows what’s happening. But Joel warns him anyway—again.
“Quit,” he growls. You’d guess this might be the point where Tommy usually backs down. But this situation is far from usual.
“Or what?” Tommy bites back. When Joel doesn’t respond he continues. “You gonna mark me up? Leave me all black and blue?”
Tommy doesn’t stop there, you try to move past Joel but he stops you, turns his head to you slightly, a hardened look in his eye.
“Oh, I forgot you’d probably like that, huh?”
Joel remains frozen for a couple fleeting seconds before whipping around and pushing Tommy into the back counter. You’re rooted to your place, you don’t even care that Caroline is still in the corner, holding the fucking napkin holder in the air.
“What’d you say?” Joel barks in Tommy’s face.
“Look at her fuckin’ stomach, dude!” Tommy throws the words in his face, pushing him back slightly and making a vague gesture in your direction, it causes your feet to move towards the brothers before you can think.
Joel backs off then, sneaking a tiny glance at you out of the corner of his eye, like he really is thinking about the marks he left on your waist. He had seen them this morning, ran his fingers over them too, and saw how the notches matched the curves of his fingers perfectly. But you kissed him, and told him it was okay. That it was more than okay. Maybe even whispered that you liked it between muffled groans. So when a glint of guilt flashes in his eyes it makes your heart break more than it already has.
“She said no,” Joel says, looking back at Tommy. A tense silence follows—like you’re not sure if Joel is going to continue or Tommy is going to bite back.
“Get back to your party,” Joel growls after a while. You bite your lip.
Tommy looks at Joel with unwavering eyes. His glance turns towards the window where he can see the bustling crowd—can almost hear the laughter. Then he looks down to his hand, outstretches it, undoes his gnarly fist, and when it curls back up again, you finally bite.
“Tommy!” you say, moving closer. But it’s too late. Joel’s figure knocks to the side and his hand instinctively grabs his face, his nose, his eye. Maybe the worst part about it all is that Joel doesn’t even look remotely surprised, or that he wants to fight back—he just stays there, a little hunched over when you yelp in shock and Tommy groans, shaking out a now bruised fist.
“Fuck,” you almost yell, your body doesn’t know what to do between bending down to see Joel’s face and looking at Tommy—at his face—because you don’t recognize him.
Joel almost huffs out a laugh, and to shut him up, to get him to bite his tongue, you speak again.
“Okay. We’re done here,” you say, pushing Joel towards the entrance of the house, towards your car.
And Caroline is there, pushing Tommy towards the couches and for the first time, you’re grateful for her.
_
The ride back to your house is silent after a short and quick bicker about who can drive. You think Joel might want to sit in the driver's seat so you can’t see the quickly forming bruises on the left side of his face but you make a decent argument, enough to settle him in the passengers—looking out the window.
You send Janet a quick text, asking if she can watch Sarah for a few hours. Brother emergency. Janet replies back and says the girls haven’t gotten out of the pool since you left. It makes you smile a bit, despite it all.
When you park in your driveway, you hop out quickly, Joel following closely behind. He waits there, right behind you, when you pull out your house keys, and waits when you unlock the deadbolt and waits when you push through the door.
“Make yourself at home,” you say, nodding towards the couches and dropping your keys in the bowl.
You disappear into the kitchen and brace your arms on the counter, your head hanging between your shoulders. You let out a deep, ragged breath and try to control your heartbeat.
“Fuck,” you mumble, shaking out your wrists, grabbing two advil from the bottle on your counter, a glass of water, and peas from freezer.
Joel’s sitting on the loveseat, looking down at his hands. You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either. He just takes the water and pills from your hands and swallows it silently. You extend the peas to him, he thinks about it for a while and when you shake them again, huffing, saying—just fucking take them. He finally obliges.
You get a good look at his cheek when he turns to set the water down on the table and you have to stop yourself from gasping.
“Joel,” you murmur, reaching for him, bending down, he stops you, grabs your wrist, then grabs your hand. But he’s gentle. Not like Tommy. Joel’s gentle.
“‘S fine,” he says, and winces when the peas touch his face. “‘M fine.”
You settle in between his legs, looking down at him. He’s got one hand on his face, holding the peas, and the other, wrapped around the back of your thigh. He doesn’t even want to look up at you. It breaks your heart.
“‘M sorry,” you say quietly, his hand on your thigh trails upward. He plays with the hem of your shirt and lifts it enough to take a peek at the purple that lies there.
He doesn’t say anything, just sits there, running a gentle, ghost-like touch across the bruises.
“He — saw it. I don’t…” you look down to your stomach. You can see the shape of his fingertips so clearly. It’s no wonder Tommy reacted how he did. “It was an accident.”
He doesn’t nod. Doesn’t shake his head. He tosses the peas onto the table and pushes the cotton of your shirt up further, to where he can see all of it—all the black and blue there.
“Are you mad?” you whisper, hesitantly, as he stares at his own hands, his own branding.
“‘M sorry,” he mumbles.
“Don’t be,” you say, begging, “Please.”
“He did that cause—,” you breathe out, taking his chin in your pointer finger and thumb and getting your first good look at his cheek, “—it’s-’s my fault, I should’ve—”
“C’mon. Don’t do that,” he says, cutting you off, nipping your apology in the bud, “I should be the one who’s sorry, this is — I hurt you.”
You shake your head.
“You know that’s not—you know that I—” you stifle a short chuckle.
“That you what?”
You let out a couple hot breaths, looking down at him, the purple around his eye slowly taking shape.
“That I liked it.”
Joel bends forward then, and you gasp. The dull scratch of his beard is the only thing keeping your eyes open. He trails his hot breath across your stomach, and leaves gentle kisses on your sides, on your bruises.
“Joel,” you mumble, and you hate how your voice sounds so breathy, maybe even desperate. You tangle your hands in his hair, grasping at the nape of his neck he pulls you down, closer, so you’re slotted in his lap, straddling him. Joel pulls back and looks at your face, brushes the fallen hair from your eyes.
“I meant what I said,” you start, he furrows his brow, “Still—mean it.”
From the look in his eyes he knows what you’re talking about. The words you slipped into his ear last night.
‘S you, Joel — it’s-’s always been you.
“But if this is—if Tommy—” you cut yourself off, correcting your words, “If I messed it up—”
“Sweetheart,” he says. Your heart pulls, you almost put your hand on his cheek, but you see the rising skin and settle for his shoulder. “‘M not goin’ anywhere.”
“Are you sure?”
He pulls you down further, so you’re flush against him. He studies your eyes and rubs at your waist, your hips. It sends a little fire down between your thighs.
“‘M here—‘M…I’m right here,” he mumbles, and shakes his head. Like he’s telling you no to any silent thoughts of doubt that might be floating around your head.
And then he pulls your head down to kiss you.
It’s needy, and hot and everything you want at this moment. He’s everywhere and you can feel his growing arousal between your legs. You both needed this—you think. After everything, after—fucking—Caroline and Janet Baker and Tommy Miller. You both needed each other so bad that when you grind down onto him he lets out a little desperate groan into your mouth that spurs you on.
Joel slips his hand under your shirt and finds the hardened peak there. He pinches it and rolls it between his fingers, it sends your hips forward and suddenly he’s sitting up, and shucking your shirt off.
He grabs your hips and moves you against him, your most vulnerable spots grinding against each other. Giving you both blown out eyes and puffy lips and panting breath.
“Sh–it,” you gasp when your shorts catch on your clit perfectly.
“Pretty,” he says, grasping at your tits, at anything he can find while you grind against his length. “fuckin’—pretty like this.”
You claw at his belt and before you know it, he’s lifting you up so you’re on your knees and he’s pulling his pants past his hips. You get the memo and take your shorts off, tossing them behind you. When you sink back down onto his lap, you can feel his cock slip between your wet lips down there.
“Fuck, Joel,” you say, gliding along his cock, soaking it. You can feel all of him now—grinding along his hardness—the girth of him fitting perfectly between your swollen lips.
“Angel,” Joel pants out, through sloppy kisses. You look at him. He’s got a desperate look on his face. Like he couldn’t wait just like you. Not even to get upstairs to your bedroom or to get all his clothes off. Like he’s been wanting this all day. Just like you.
You move up and reach down, feeling the wet mess you’ve both made down between your legs. You find his cock, hard and wanting, and position it at your entrance. The head sinks past your walls, enveloping it somewhere deeper and you both groan at the feeling.
You sink down on him slowly, you’re by no means physically ready to take him. But you can’t wait any longer. He kisses you, and down to your neck, making it easier to ease yourself down onto him, and when you finally reach the end, and you’re seated fully in his lap, you both gasp.
Your walls clench around him, eliciting a quiet groan from Joel somewhere near your neck. Your eyes roll back in your head, your forehead drops onto his shoulder. You both just sit there, waiting for the other to make a move.
It’s kind of like a game.
See how long you can both relish in each other’s warmth — the first person who moves loses.
Your walls tighten again and he lets out another groan, “Jesus,” he mumbles, nipping at your neck. You’re slowly adjusting to him, relaxing around him. It makes you shudder.
You realize he’s not really touching you. He’s got his hands on your thighs, but they’re just resting there. Not squeezing or gripping your hips like you know he so desperately wants. Maybe he’s scared, you think. From everything that’s happened today. From the consequences his touch barred.
But you didn’t care about the consequences. You liked his touch, needed his touch, just as much as he needed something to hold him back down to earth, anchor him to you—in you. And afterall, you just want him to feel good. Feel better.
“Touch me,” you gasp out, reaching down to his hands.
“Am touchin’ you,” he forces out, panting near your ear. His thumb absentmindedly pushes down on the skin of your thigh a fraction harder and then eases up, like he’s saying this is the best I can do.
“No, Joel,” you moan, rock your hips a little, moving first, moving frantically and suddenly, “touch me,” you say into his neck, reaching down to usher his hands to your hips, your waist, you.
Joel gets it then, the silent permission. The it’s okay, and grips you harder, but not as hard as you know he would like. It’s good enough for you because he moves your hips, rocking you up and down onto his length—having enough of the senseless grinding.
“Fuckin’ good—” Joel groans, your hands fly to his shoulders, his hair. “You feel good.”
Your legs grow tired, he can tell. You try your best, but you’re sweaty and tired and fucked out, and when he hits a spot deeper inside you that makes you moan out, louder than before, and you almost collapse onto him. He ruts into you a little. Meeting you halfway. Fucking you deeper—maybe even a bit faster.
Your legs ache and you feel a sheen of sweat wash over both of you. And Joel’s eye is fucked up, his cheek too. Tommy is sitting back at the house—or god knows where—with a possible broken hand, Janet baker is watching Sarah instead of you or Joel, Caroline is still back at the house, and everything is a fucking mess, but it’s so right. He feels so right. He’s — he’s right.
You’re close then, the coarse hair on him inching you toward your climax. He knows, he can feel it from the inside. You don’t even have to say it this time, your question for his permission. He can see it already braced on your lips but he shuts you up with a kiss, a sloppy one, where he sticks his tongue into your mouth and your walls tighten around him again.
“Yes,” he says with a moan into your mouth, “yes, yes—ah.”
“Fuck,” you say tightening around him, becoming breathless and boneless, but Joel holds you up. He always does.
He grips you tighter, like how you know he wanted to, and you relish in the feeling. His thrusts become desperate and you brace yourself on the back of the couch so he can rut up deeper, chasing after his own orgasm. You can’t really breathe. Not when he’s everywhere.
“Shit,” he says, rocking into you.
Joel cums hard, holding onto you, wrapping you up in his arms as he groans somewhere near your temple. You let it spread through you, the mess of it all. He keeps you locked in his arms, even when you think he might pull away.
He finally pulls you off him, when he says it becomes too much and you sit on his lap, playing with his curls. When you both settle from your panting you can’t help but ask.
“What are we gonna do?” you say quietly to him.
“I dunno,” he grabs your hand and gives it a quick kiss. The bruise on his face is turning an ugly shade of purple. And the peas have gone warm, creating a small puddle on the coffee table. And your phone keeps buzzing from the entryway.
“We’ll figure it out,” he says, running a hand on your thigh.
_
taglist! comment or message me if you want to be added. kisses!
@going-to-californiaxx @gintheginger @daddy-din @earthtogrogu @rooney-verse @ratoonstown @skysmiller @pedritosdarling @lovely-ateez @pluzo @spongebobspooploop @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @tsunamistorm123 @awhoreforalotofshows @disassociation-daydreams @violinchick @rhoorl
@yoongjennie88 @untamedheart81 @noisynightmarepoetry @joelsversion @vanillen @brujitafantomatico @cartoon-garbage04 @jpbplvr @whattownheadshake @beccerjune @pedrotonin @sen-mirjahaal @awesomebunnyqueen @bluetattoos
@siimiasoi @fandomscollide @lizzie-cakes @paleidiot @sunnywithachanceofjavi @koshkaj-blog @sunnysaphira @bbyanarchist @casa-boiardi @anavatazes @joeldjarin @l0vem3n @lmariephoto37 @turtles-all-the-way-d0wn @withasideofmeg @dinwifey @brinabees @sofiparallel @akah565 @defnotashifter @missgurrl @anoverwhelmingdin @rainbowcosmicchaos @pedropascalissofine @purplemechanics @suzmagine @hellaradd @josephine1837 @lawh0re @medic332 @lisaneedsbraces @angelmather1 @kirsteng42 @poodlebae @lunxramour
#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x reader#joel x reader#the last of us hbo#joel miller#joel miller self insert#the last of us#joel fic#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fic#joel the last of us#pedro pascal#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal as joel miller#joel miller smut#smut#joel x f!reader#joel x female reader#joel x you#tlou fanfiction#dbf!joel miller#dbf!joel#dom!joel#dom!joel miller#tommy miller#chaser
357 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello, I hope you're having a good day/evening/night. I really enjoy your work and if you're taking requests could I request a fluffy fic of Mercy comforting or enjoying an evening with the reader on their birthday after it being forgotten by most of their friends and family. Like the reader could have just come home from work and seems a bit more exhausted than usual. You're work is amazing. Thank you for taking the time to read this
✮ ┆TOGETHER ABOVE. angela ‘mercy’ ziegler
based on the request above.
CONTENT WARNING. SFW CONTENT UNDER THE CUT; gn reader, short fluffy mess, reader’s birthday, a pinch sad but nothing crazy, | ~0.5k words
A/N. hi hi hi anonie, i’m glad you like the content i make even tho i have been falling off my streak, hope you come back to see this also! thank you for requesting, reading and i hope you guys enjoy!
as angela heard the door creak open, she glanced up from the small array of candles adorning the table, casting a warm, golden glow across the room. you entered, looking more worn out than usual, a faint crease etched between your brows. angela's heart swelled with sympathy, knowing how much you must have been through that day.
"hey, you," angela greeted softly, rising from her seat and crossing the room to meet you in a gentle hug. "rough day?"
you leaned into the embrace, exhaling tiredly. "you could say that," you murmured, resting your head against angela's shoulder as her arms wrapped around your body.
a few moments passing and angela pulled back slightly, one of her hands finding its way to your cheek, lifting your gaze to meet hers. "well, i've got something that might help," she said with a warm smile, guiding you over to the table where the flickering candles danced in the dim light.
your eyes widened in surprise as you took in the sight before you: a small, intimate setup with a cake just big enough the both of you could have two slice each, adorned with a single candle in the middle, its flame swaying gently in the air. a few balloons bobbed in the corner, their colors muted but still cheerful.
"happy birthday, liebling," angela said softly, her voice filled with warmth and affection, throwing her arms in the air as she showed off the decoration and surprise to you.
your tired expression melted away, replaced by a mix of disbelief and gratitude. "you... you remembered?" you whispered, your voice thick with emotions.
angela nodded, her smile widening. "of course I did. how could i forget?" she said, her eyes sparkling with sincerity.
as you sat down together at the table, angela watched as your exhaustion seemed to melt away, replaced by a sense of contentment and belonging. you shared stories and laughter as you enjoyed the simple pleasure of each other's company, reveling in the warmth of the moment.
in that cozy little space, surrounded by flickering candlelight and the soft hum of your shared laughter, you knew that this was exactly where you wanted to be- celebrating with the person you loved most in the world. and as you blew out the candle and made a wish, angela couldn't help but silently make one of her own: for many more birthdays spent together, just like this one.
#📗 — written by moss !#mercy x reader#overwatch x reader#angela ziegler x reader#overwatch mercy x reader
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Fellowship and their favorite Classic Frat Party Bangers™️
Frodo
No Hands by Waka Flocka Flame
This is pre-Ring Frodo, ofc
Y’all remember how he was dancing at Bilbo’s birthday? Yeah dude def likes to get down
I just feel like after he’s had a few drinks in him and this song comes on, he grabs Sam and loudly says “OMG ITS MY SOONNGGGG!”
Can sing the whole song with no breaks (just like me fr)
Sam
Everything by Pitbull
Sam actually doesn’t really like the music they play at parties. He thinks some of the lyrics are crass
HOWEVER
One time this song came on at a party that Rosie was at and she danced with him the entire song. He has not stopped thinking about it since
The next day he went straight to Merry (the Pitbull expert) and asked him what the song was called and then he immediately went and bought the song and listened to it everyday for the next two weeks
Now he requests it every time him and Frodo go out just in case Rosie is there
Pippin
Shots by Lil Jon
He is the Snooki of the Shire let’s be real here
Loves lil Jon. Thinks he’s a lyrical genius
He’s always up on the damn tables and the bar
“IF YOU AINT GETTIN DRUNK GET THE FUCK OUT THE CLUB” and Pippin took that personally
Spills his drinks on everyone. Gets into a verbal altercation bc of said spillage. Merry comes in to back him up. Now Frodo and Sam have to break up a fight
Merry
Hotel Room Service by Pitbull
Pitbulls no. 1 fan
Right up there on the tables with Pippin
Gets sooo hype for “WE AT THE HOTEL MOTEL HOLIDAY INN!”
Also spills his drinks but not as much
Has in fact been decked in the face for asking a girl if he could take her back to the hotel room for some *service*
Aragorn
Pepas by Farruko
This man has never gone to a party of his own accord. He has only gone just to make sure that Merry and Pippin don’t die
BUT once he’s got a few drinks in his system and this song comes on, he’s ready to let lose
I feel like he would love the Spanish songs (he can speak fluently I just know it)
Does his own lil dancy dance while Merry and Pippin cheer him on
Legolas records it for when he’s sober and they can all laugh about it
Legolas
Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira OR Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado
Oh he defff likes the “girlier” songs
Once he has enough in his system to get that lil tingle in his hands, bro is right in the middle of whatever dance circle formed around him
That man LOVES to flip his hair all over the place like he’s really got his hands in his hair feeling the music and everything
Learned all this from his father I just know that Thranduil made sure his son was properly educated
Gimli gives him shit for the entire night
Gimli
Get Low by Lil Jon
Oh bro definitely likes to get low
His drunk self gets SO HYPE when this song comes on
Climbs right up on the table with Merry and Pippin (falls off soon after)
The rest of the fellowship watches in absolute terror as he tears up the dance floor
Gandalf
Danza Kuduro by Don Omar
Will he dance? Who knows
But one thing for certain is that his heart is filled with so much joy watching the Hobbits go absolutely crazy for this song
He thinks it’s so fun and endearing watching them dancing and enjoying the night
It’s one of those simple things that he loves so much. Watching a group of friends enjoying each others company and celebrating their friendship with music and dancing
You know what he WILL dance let him get in the middle of that silly little circle
Boromir
DJ Got Us Fallin In Love by Usher
He may be daddy’s favorite, but being daddy’s favorite is stressful
At the end of the week, he just wants to cut lose and get drunk
And drunk he gets
He just likes to feel the musiiicccc
Has never gone home alone LMAO
#lord of the rings#incorrect lotr quotes#lotr shitpost#lotr fandom#lotr#frodo baggins#samwise gamgee#merry and pippin#pippin#merry brandybuck#pippin took#aragorn#legolas#gandalf#gimli#boromir#this is definitely canon
77 notes
·
View notes
Note
Royal yanderes falling for a servant is like, my fav niche. Personal cook? Awesome. Maid/Butler? Cant go wrong. Courtyard gardener? Yes please. I am a simple person with simple needs and I will ALWAYS go crazy.
tw - abusive power dynamics, stalking, obsessive behavior, and implied imprisonment.
i think yandere!royals with their gardeners are my favorite underappreciated pairing, if only because there's just enough separation between you and them to really make that yearning hit. i mean, you've worked at the palace for as long as you can remember, but you can count the number of times you've been inside of its halls on a single hand, and you've never so much as held a conversation with a member of the royal family - not unless you count the polite nods and smiles they send you as they stroll through the courtyard, pretending not to watch from behind their silk fans as you weed the tulip garden for the millionth time that month. you don't mind it, though. the labor is hard and you find your patience waning more often than not, but room and board come with the job, and the pay's just too good to give up, considering you don't want to spend the rest of your life rotting in the capitol... even if you don't think you'll ever enjoy looking at a tastefully pruned rosebush again.
little do you know, the crown-heir's been taken with their little gardener for quite some time. they were a sickly child, given nothing better to do than sit in their room and watch you braid flowers out of the daisies and dandelions you'd been sent to pull up from behind the bars of their balcony's guardrail. they grew out of their illness with time, but they never managed to leave behind their voyeuristic habits, and despite their mounting responsibilities, they still find themself passing the hours in the courtyard pavilion, half-listening to some ambassador's son prattle on as they watch you wring the sweat out of a shirt that wouldn't normally pass the palace's strict dresscode for its servants, if they hadn't intervened on your behalf. they still haven't spoken to you, sure, you're such a lovely little thing, they already know how everything about you that they'd ever want to know - from your measurements (bought off of a sympathetic chef's aid you once shared a dormitory with) to how you tend to breathe while you're asleep (learned over all the many afternoons they've caught you resting in a shady, secluded corner of the palace's private orchards).
you're so beloved to them, the only constant thing they've had over so, so many years of illness and hardship and obligation, but they're afraid your loyalness has been waning, lately, that you've been losing interest in serving your soon-to-be ruler. they know that you've been talking about traveling, going to all sorts of places they won't be able to follow, and what's worse, you're excited about it, so eager to leave them behind. they know that it's their own fault, that they should've made your importance to them more apparent, but the betrayal still stings. it still hurts, to see you so desperate to leave them without your gentle company. luckily, there are ways around these things, certain methods they can employ to keep their little servant rooted in place.
they've never really cared for you as a gardener, after all.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hello! Hope your having a good day/ night. Love the new hair btw. But I was wondering if you could do the hashira ( Muichiro, and Obanai, and Tanjiro please, and you can choose any others if you want ). X a hashira reader who is mostly blind ( coming from experience my prescription for glasses is the same as my grandpa and already worsening ) and I would just like to know how the hashira and Tanjiro would react to it. ( Male reader if possible? ) Thank you and remember that your works are freaking amazing!
🍓as always i don't know much English so if something is wrong correct me 🍓
Muichiro,obanai, tanjiro x blind male! Reader
Muichiro tokito
∆ when kagaya announced that they'll having a new hashira and told them that your blind like gyomei
∆ then after the hashira meeting you were around the garden of you new estate
∆ muichiro wanted to say hello to you because why not when muichiro step on a branch you draw you blade near his neck
∆ he was impressed you got him off guard, hiding your sword on the grass
∆ you two then talk and you two got pretty along
∆ when you two started to date he knew you can do anything except for cooking i know muichiro doesn't look like he can't cook but he can
∆ he always cook for the both of you and you two enjoy each other's company
∆ you two sometimes train he goes slow for you but you said you can still feel him
∆ "why would i be a hashira if I didn't fight roughly" " alright alright just tell me if i hurt you or you need a break ok?" "Ok"
Obanai Iguro
∆ when you two met you and him are walking then you two bump into each other, and then he ask "CANT YOU WATCH WHERE YOUR....going" he saw your stick then you answer "i cant..I'm sorry for bumping into you
∆ you were only a slayer back there then you became a hashira when he met you again
∆ he apologize to you but you said it was fine you two
∆ he started to became protective there's a small rock? He will halt you and kick the rock which leave you confuse cause you know there a rock there
∆ your about to walk up a stair he'll help you
∆you started to get annoyed because you can do anything on your own ( except cooking)
∆ " will you please stop obanai this is going crazy"
∆ " I'm sorry I don't know whats happening but my guts said to protect the one i love... I mean the one that..i.."
∆ and that's where he confess his feelings to you, now that your dating its kinda ok for him to be protective to you
Tanjiro kamado
∆ this man is like obanai overprotective
∆ you have dirty clothes? He'll wash them you said you can clean the table no.. he'll clean it
∆ he'll just sit you down next to nezuko and wanted him to do all the work
∆ sometimes when nezuko is on your lap you play with her hair and tanjiro will stair at you both then smile
∆ your both at the groceries you help him carry but he carrys more AND NEZUKO man this man is strong
∆ he was shock aswell that like you.. Your blind?! But you fight so well
∆ after that he'll just take care of you and whisper that his so proud of you
Sorry couldn't think straight i have many assignment but i want this request to be done
#demon slayer#muichiro tokito#obanai iguro#demon slayer x reader#tanjiro kamado#tanjiro x reader#muichiro x reader#obanai x reader#kny headcanons#kny x reader
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bound- Chapter Ten
Chapter Nine
STRICTLY 18+
A/n: All I can say is buckle up… This is probably my favorite chapter I’ve written so I hope you guys love it as much as I do.
There are also only about 3 chapters left, so be prepared for a wild ride. BUT, enjoy <3
Content Warnings: Explicit sexual content, oral (f rec.), slight fingering & handjobs, mentions on p in v, teasing, super mushy fluff, heavy angst, arguing, overuse of italicizes and ellipses… srry, lots of stuttering and stammering but there’s a lot of emotions so it’s FINE. 😂
Word Count: 5.9k
Poppy Prescott thought she’d never be able to fall in love again after the death of her high school sweetheart, Brock Lansing. It was part of the reason she decided to move to LA, California boys simply weren’t her type, so she figured there would be less temptation. And she was right, for the most part. She managed to fly under the radar for the first few years, chasing her dreams without the distraction of men. Sometimes her life got lonely, but she figured it was a lot better than trying to fill those empty parts of herself with guys whose names she wouldn’t remember the next morning. In a strange way, it worked for her.
Then one day, on a very rare rainy LA night, at some dimly lit bar, she met Jacob Kiszka.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
November 11, 1972
Los Angeles, California
It had been another failed audition for Poppy, the casting directors labeling her ‘too developed’ for the role she was trying out for. Rejection was to be expected, it was a part of the industry, but this one had her feeling a little more dejected than usual, leaving her to chase her sorrows away in one too many martinis.
She plopped down at the bar and ordered her first drink, eyes scanning the room before they landed on the man beside her, arms folded on the counter top and his head resting on them. There was a half finished glass of whiskey in fron of him, and an ashtray with a cigarette still burning inside of it.
“Long day?” she chuckled, not really expecting to get much of an answer.
Jake slowly lifted his head to look at her, his eyes bloodshot as if he’d been crying, but Poppy wasn’t one to judge, she felt the same way in that moment.
His eyes locked in on his drink, and he quickly knocked back the rest of its contents in one gulp.
“Yeah… somethin’ like that.”
She perked up a bit at the sound of his accent. She hadn’t met anyone from the south out in LA yet, and it already had her clinging to this stranger for some familiarity.
“Well,” she sighed as she pulled her wallet from her purse, “how about a shot on me? I’ve had a pretty shitty day too and I guess it’s true when they say misery loves company.”
He was looking at her like she was crazy, either that or he was trying to bring his vision into focus, but either way, the stupefied look on his face had her holding back her laughter.
“I’m Poppy,” she extended her hand for him to shake, he took it with a loose hand of his own.
“Jake.”
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
One shot turned to two, and two turned to four, and before either of them could process what was happening, they were back in Jake’s apartment ripping each other’s clothes off.
This was new for Poppy, going home with some handsome stranger in a bar. And she could tell just by the way he carried himself that he was a broken man, but none of that mattered to her.
Jake felt strange yet familiar at the same time, and though he was slightly disconnected the entire time they had sex, she still enjoyed herself. She enjoyed being around him.
They set very clear terms the following morning when they both woke up slightly confused yet completely satisfied.
“Poppy, you seem like a great girl, and I’d love to do… this, again. But I need you to understand that I’m not looking for anything more than… this,” he explained to her as they sat across from each other on his couch, each with a cup of coffee in hand.
Poppy nodded in complete understanding, “me either. This… this is good.”
And it was good, the dynamic served both of them in the ways they needed it to without the complication of a relationship.
But Poppy quickly found that the more time she spent with Jake, the more fond of him she became. They related in ways that neither of them had been able to do with other people in California, and it pushed the limits of their physical relationship, at least on Poppy’s end.
Jake was a great listening ear whenever she needed it, and whenever she had furniture that needed to be assembled or lightbulbs that needed changing, Jake was always the first person she’d call.
And he’d always come through.
And whenever Jake needed it, Poppy was a shoulder to cry on. It took awhile for him to open up, but one night when he showed up to her front door drunk and dazed, he’d spilled everything about his past with you to her.
From then on, he’d talk about you often, and it was present in the way that his eyes lit up whenever your name was mentioned how madly in love he was with you. It showed all over his body, he became a completely different person.
Some nights after they’d finished having sex, Jake passed out from one too many drinks, Poppy would lay there and imagine what it felt like to be loved by Jake.
Really loved by him.
Yes, Poppy liked Jake.
But she never made mention of it, not even once. Yet she knew deep down that if she were to ever fall in love again, it could be with Jacob Kiszka.
The day he left Los Angeles for Montana, she felt like he was taking a piece of her heart with him. But the words he left her with had her feeling more than hopeful.
“If you ever find yourself in Kalispell, give me a visit.”
He kissed her on the top of the head and climbed into his midnight blue truck that she came to love so much.
As she watched his taillights disappear into the distance, it struck her.
When the hell would she be in Kalispell fucking Montana?
For over a year she tossed around the idea of visiting, she really didn't need a reason, did she?
But she also couldn’t show up unannounced… could she?
It took her a total of fourteen months to work up her nerve to make the trip, deciding that she wasn’t going to wait for the opportunity to present itself,
She was going to him.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
It was after three in the afternoon before either you or Jake stirred.
Jake groaned as he turned over on his back, your limp body flopping back down onto him. Your bodies were sticky with sweat, and the sheet that Jake grabbed at some point during the night clung to you as if it were molded there.
You let out an over dramatic sigh as sleep left you, running a hand down Jake’s chest. Goosebumps rose to the surface of his skin, and you smirked at the feeling.
You stopped for a moment to take him in, his pink lips slightly parted as he slept on. It felt surreal being this close to him again, you spent years missing that feeling; waking up in his arms. You wanted to do it over and over again.
Your head lulled as you lifted it from his shoulder, placing kisses down the front of his body, licking away beads of sweat as you trailed lower.
One of his eyes popped open to look down at you, “mornin’ babydoll.”
“Mmmm, good mornin’,” you purred as you nipped at the small pudge of his lower abdomen.
Your hand found his already hard cock, stroking it languidly as you peered up at him through your eyelashes.
His hips jerked forward at your touch before settling back onto the carpet, a soft grunt escaping his lips.
“Baby, you’ve worn me out,” he chuckled as one of his hands began playing in your hair, “I’m drained. You’ve drained me.”
“Aw that’s too bad,” you teased as you began inching your way down his body, leaving small love bites in your wake, “cause I really, really wanted to taste you again.”
His cock twitched in your palm, and you bit your lip at the sight of the precum leaking from his slit.
“Yeah, you missed me?”
You were face to face with his fully hard erection now, your ass hiked up in the air but still shielded by the sheet.
Jake shuddered as you placed a gentle kiss on his tip, “so much.”
You kissed it again, your hand still stroking him, and his head fell back onto the pillow.
“I can make you cum again… then I can make you breakfast,” you gave another peck, “so you can regain some of your strength. How does that sound?”
“Good, only I think it’s way beyond breakfast time baby,” he mumbled with a smirk as his hand found your hair again.
You giggled loudly, “Okay, fine. I’ll make you lunch, and then maybe we can do it all over again?”
A laughed rumbled up from inside him, “you really are trynna kill me, huh?”
Before you could sink your mouth down on his cock completely, there was a knock at the door.
Jake’s eyes popped back open, looking towards the door then down at you.
He hesitated for a moment, he didn't have to answer the door, did he? He could just ignore whoever it was and let you finish what you so willingly started.
But when another knock sounded off at the door, he knew it’d be no use.
“Shit,” he sighed as he tapped you to roll off of him. He climbed to his feet and began searching for any items of his clothing he could find, being left with only his jeans and crumpled button up shirt.
He swung the door open a little impatiently, but upon seeing who stood on the other side, all the fury left his body.
“Poppy?”
She was smiling up at him sweetly, her bleach blonde hair pulled up into an intricate up do. She had on a floral print dress that clung perfectly to her voluptuous body, her large breasts pushed up on full display.
“Hi Jake.”
He glanced back into the house briefly before closing the door a little tighter, “wh-what are you doin’ here?”
His uneasiness wasn’t missed by Poppy, but she chose to ignore it, hoping that it was just nerves.
“Well you said if I ever found myself in Kalispell to pay you a visit. I mean, I didn’t really find myself here, but I figured I didn’t really need a reason to come see ya,” she chuckled nervously, “I missed you.”
Everything changed when the look on his face registered in her mind. She’d seen that look plenty of times before back in LA. It was the look that only appeared when it came to you.
Poppy took a step back, “it’s her, isn’t it?”
He didn't respond, but that damned look gave away his answer.
“Is she here?”
He nodded, and before he could produce any words, he felt your presence behind him, pulling the door open with a smile.
“Hi.”
Poppy’s eyes were wide when she looked at you, and she felt her heart jolt. You were even more beautiful than Jake described you, and you were glowing.
Because of Jake.
“Um,” Jake cleared his throat, “Poppy, this is y/n. Y/n, this is my good friend Poppy from California.”
“It’s real nice to meet you, Poppy,” you grinned and extended your hand, and after a beat, Poppy did the same.
“I’ve heard so much about you. It’s nice to finally meet you,” she spoke sincerely.
Poppy’s hand was soft when you shook it, delicate just like the petal of one. You could tell just from that gesture that you’d like her.
“We were just about to make lunch,” you looked at Jake pointedly, “would you like to join us?”
“Oh, no,” Poppy stammered as she took another step back, “I- I wouldn’t wanna intrude or anything.”
Jake spoke before you could, “you’re never intruding, Poppy, you know that,” he grinned at her warmly.
He pushed the door back further and stepped aside, “come on, join us.”
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
It was dusk by the time Jake walked Poppy out, one of his jackets draped over her shoulders as they strolled down the long driveway silently.
None of you could’ve imagined the fun you would have together, talking and laughing like some old friends from childhood.
Poppy watched the way you two interacted the entire time, and she knew that she stood no chance.
She wasn’t upset about it, though, in fact, it was quite the opposite. Seeing the way you and Jake were together led her to believe that some people were just made for each other. Plain and simple. She’d never seen Jake as happy as he was in those several hours, and it confirmed that you were the missing piece in his life.
“You know I get it now, Jake,” Poppy broke the silence as she glanced to look up at him, “why you love her so much. She’s wonderful, better than I would’ve imagined her to be.”
Jake cast his eyes down to the gravel, kicking one of the rocks in his path, guilt pulsing through his body.
“Poppy, look I’m sorry—”
“No,” she grabbed his arm to stop him from walking, making him look directly at her, “no you don’t have to apologize for being in love, Jake. I knew what I signed up for when we started seeing each other. I just thought…” she trailed off, but quickly shook away whatever she was about to say.
“Anyways, it’s fine,” she flung her hand in the air, “I see the way you are when you’re with her. I’ve never seen you so at peace, it really looks good on you.”
Her eyes began to well with tears as she took Jake’s hand in hers, his expression troubled as he stepped closer to her.
“And seeing the two of you gives me hope again. I- I never really thought that falling in love was worth it after Brock died,” she sniffled, wiping at her eyes delicately, “but seeing you two like that, it gives me something to look forward to.”
Jake pulled her into a tight hug, burying his face in the top of her head.
“Thank you for everything, Poppy.”
“No, thank you, Jake.”
They embraced for a moment longer before Poppy pulled away to place a kiss on his cheek.
“Good luck, Jake. And I’m keepin’ this jacket,” she called out as she climbed into her rental car.
“Where are you goin’?”
Poppy shrugged, a broad smile on her face, “I don’t really know, maybe down to one of these bars to pick up a handsome young cowboy.”
Jake chuckled and shook his head, “you be careful out there, Poppy Prescott.”
“Will do… Jacob Kiszka.”
She slammed the door shut and blew him a playful kiss through the window. Jake watched as she drove down his winding driveway and out of sight, and once she was gone, he made his way inside.
You were standing over the sink washing dishes when he entered, your back turned to him as you did so. He stood at the kitchen entrance and admired you, so domestic in a way he hadn’t been able to experience yet, he found himself growing quickly addicted to it.
Finally his feet move towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing you on the head in the way he had done to Poppy moments ago, only this one was full of different emotions.
You dropped the pan you were washing and leaned into his embrace, “I like Poppy, she’s a sweet girl.”
Jake sighed, “yeah, she’s great. I think she’s the only reason I didn't completely lose my mind in LA,” he scoffed a bit at that.
A small smile appeared on your face. You didn’t need to know the extent of Jake and Poppy’s relationship, though you had a pretty good idea of what it entailed. But none of that mattered, you’d each found your own ways to cope with the absence of one another, and all that mattered was that you were back now.
You leaned back to graze your lips against his cheek, “well I’m glad you had someone as amazing as her takin’ care of you.”
Jake smirked as he reached to shut the faucet off, returning his hands to your waist.
You knew what he wanted by the way he began leaving wet kisses down the back of your neck, and you moved your hips backwards to meet his growing erection.
“Wanna finish what we started earlier,” you breathed out, continuing to grind your ass against him.
“Hmmm that sure does sound good,” he hummed into your ear, “but I think I have a better idea.”
In one swift movement he spun you around and sat you on the counter behind him, hiking up your skirt and snatching your panties down your legs. You let out a surprised gasp, clutching a hand onto his shoulder tightly to keep your balance.
When he dropped to his knees in front of you, that hand moved to his tangled hair, gripping at the roots as he fanned hot breaths over your pulsing clit.
His eyes found yours briefly, that familiar look of devotion in them before he dived in, his flat tongue lapping at your wet folds.
“Fuck, fuckkk Jake,” you sighed out as you threw your legs over his shoulders.
One of his fingers teased at your hole, dipping in slightly before retreating with your wetness encasing it. The finger reached up blindly in search of your mouth, and you bent at the waist to wrap your tongue around it.
He pulled away from your pussy a panting mess, solely to watch the way you sucked his finger clean.
“I just want you to taste for yourself why I can’t get enough of you.”
Your walls clenched at his words, and as he lowered himself back down, he caught a glimpse of your engagement ring. It twinkled and danced in the light, and while it may have made any other man rethink what he was doing, all it caused Jake to do was hook his arms around your legs, dive back into with new urgency in his movements, and work you to another blissful end.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
The next day came and went. You and Jake got up early to climb to the top of the hill he took you to on your first full day there. At the top, you enjoyed a small breakfast that you and Jake threw together for yourselves.
As you climbed back down, a large gray storm cloud rolled over Kalispell, sending a heavy rainfall that didn’t stop for the rest of the day.
You and Jake rushed back to his house, jumping in the shower and making the slowest, sweetest love you had in a long time. He had you pinned flush against the wall, his hips rocking up into yours at a slow clip, whispering ‘I love you’ over and over again, just so you knew he meant it.
He must’ve said it a hundred times before he finished you both off. After that, neither of you felt like doing much of anything, and you’d once again found your favorite spot on the floor in front of his couch, watching old black and white movies as you drained two bottles of wine. You’d stop in between every movie to get a round in.
By nightfall, the heavy rain had calmed to a soft sprinkle, the temperature dropping along with it, and Jake had a fire burning steadily in the fireplace.
Your naked bodies were tangled together as you completely ignored the movie on the TV, opting for conversation.
“I’m tellin’ you, babydoll, the Eiffel Tower at night, it’s like nothin’ I’ve ever seen before. I have to take you some day.”
You took a sip from your glass and nestled yourself closer to him, “I’d love to see it, I bet it’s marvelous.”
He was smiling at you, and he pressed a kiss to your temple, “the only thing that could make it more marvelous is if you were there. I’ll take you, watch.”
You blushed at the sentiment. He’d spent the last hour telling you about all the places he wanted to take you to make up for lost time. Paris, Rome, Ireland, Brazil, they all sounded like a dream, but also so far out of reach.
He opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off by the sound of his home phone ringing from the kitchen. It hardly ever rang unless it was one of his brothers or his parents, so he figured it must’ve been one of them.
“Hang on,” he groaned as you lifted off of his shoulder so he could stand, and he quickly put his sweats back and raced to the kitchen to catch the phone.
“Hello?”
It was quiet for a moment as the person on the other line spoke, you took a casual sip from your wine glass.
“Uhhh, yeah… yes ma’am, she’s here…”
Your head whipped around to look at Jake, and he was already staring at you with wide eyes, and your stomach dropped.
“Yes ma’am… sure… one second.”
He carefully sat the phone down on the counter, taking a few steps away from it, “it’s uh… it’s your mom. She wants to talk to you.”
You were petrified as you stared at him.
Please don’t make me, you begged him with only your eyes, but his only response was a warm smile, already aware of how you were feeling, “it’s fine. You’ll be fine. I’ll step outside to give you some privacy.”
At this point, you were about to beg him verbally not to leave, to stay near for moral support, but he was moving towards the back door without another word.
After another moment, you clambered to your feet, wrapping the blanket snug around your body and reluctantly made your way towards the waiting phone.
You took a deep breath before you brought it to your ear, bracing yourself for what was to come.
“Mama?”
“Hi, baby,” your mother’s soft voice responded. She didn’t seem upset, that was a good sign.
“Ho- how did you find me?”
“Well, I called your house today lookin’ for you. August answered and said that you weren’t there, that you were visiting a friend in Montana. He seemed surprised that you hadn’t mentioned it to me, but I told him it must’ve slipped my mind.”
You let out a sigh of relief, but the relief was short lived as you realized you’d made your mother lie on your behalf.
“But I know you all too well, and I also knew that there was only one person that you would have known in Montana. So after we got off the phone, I called Karen, and she gave me Jacob’s phone number.”
There was a lingering silence that left you wanting to shrink into yourself.
“Y/n, baby, what are you doing?” She sighed finally.
A single tear involuntarily slid down your face, but you wiped it away just as quickly as it appeared.
“ I don’t know, mama. I- I don’t know what I’m doing, I don't know what the hell to do I just… I don't know.” Your composure was crumbling quickly, and you threw an exasperated hand on your face, “I love August, God knows I love August. But when it comes to Jake I just,” you sighed, “you know how it is when it comes to Jake. No matter how hard I try I just can’t forget him. It’s like he’s engraved into my entire body.”
You couldn’t produce the words you wanted to, but there was no need. Like your mom said, she knew you all too well.
“I know, I know. But I also know that this isn’t the right way to do it. How do you think August would fe if he knew what you were really up to out there?”
Oddly enough, you had spent the last few days completely avoiding that thought, it was too painful of an image to paint, and you didn’t want it to tarnish the precious time you were spending with Jake.
“And I may be wrong, but I think he’s a little suspicious. Said he’s hardly heard from you since you’ve been gone, and he thought he heard you call him someone else’s name when you did talk.”
If possible, your stomach begins to turn even more. You took a glance at Jake through the tall glass windows, his back turned to you as he strummed his guitar casually.
“Mama, what do I do?” you whispered as you continued staring at Jake.
“Well,” she began, “I’m not gonna tell you who to choose, that ain’t my decision to make. But you do need to make a decision, the right way. And you aren’t gonna be able to do that hiding in Montana with Jacob.”
You knew she was right, but you also knew what it meant, and that was another thought you found yourself trying to avoid.
“Just come home, baby. We’ll sort it all out, just come back, please.”
The tears were falling one after the other now.
“When were you supposed to fly back?”
“Tomorrow,” you mumbled. You entertained the idea of skipping the flight all together, but the fear of what came with it was enough to make you push it to the back of your mind, a third thought to shun.
“Do me a favor, y/n, and get on that plane tomorrow. I know it’s gonna hurt leaving him behind again, but no one is saying it’s final. You just need to do it—”
“The right way,” you cut her off, your tone sorrowful, “I know.”
She let out another sigh, “I love you, it’ll be alright.”
Your mom always had a way of comforting you rather easily, her words like chicken soup for the soul. But this time around, you weren’t so sure if you believed her, or if those words would be enough to comfort you in the storm you were about to face.
You said your goodbyes and hung up the phone, and you made your way back into the living room in a zombified state. Jake wasn’t far behind you, sliding the patio door open cautiously.
The tears that stained your face worried him, but he swallowed down all his uneasiness.
“Everything alright, babydoll?”
It took you several seconds to look at him, and when you did, catching a good look at his concerned eyes, you could've crumbled right to the floor beneath you.
“Jake,” your voice was a lot squeakier than you wanted it to be, but it was near impossible for you to talk around the rock lodged in your throat, “I- I have to go.”
He shut the patio door behind him as he scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, “go where?”
You sniffled as you pulled the blanket tighter around you, eyes trained to the floor like a child being scolded, “back to Nashville. Back to August.”
A deafening silence took over the room, so dense you could feel it suffocating you. As much as you wanted to look at him, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, but you could feel his eyes burning a hole into the top of your head.
He scoffed, shattering the silence, “you’re not serious, are you?”
You watch as one of your tears fell to the wooden floor, then another right behind it, and you said nothing.
“You can’t be serious, y/n,” he was well on his way to shouting now as he began pacing in front of you, “h- how can you do that after everything that’s happened these past few days?”
“Jake I have to go back,” you wept as you began watching him pace, “I can't just… stay here forever.”
There was nothing funny in the moment, but Jake was chuckling to himself in disbelief, shaking his head and running a finger over his beard.
He stopped to look at you, his voice back to its normal volume, “Let me ask you something, y/n. Do you love him?”
Your lower lip quivered as you responded, “yes Jake, I do.”
“As much as you love me?”
Your eyes looked to the ceiling, a scoff passing your lips, “you know I can't answer that.”
Jake’s jaw ticked as you looked back at him, and he shook his head again, “No, you can. You just don't want to. Because if you do, that means you’ll have to face the reality of the situation.”
You could feel your anger beginning to brew inside of you as he spoke to you so flippantly. But even still, all you felt was love when you looked at him.
“I mean come on, babydoll,” he stressed, taking a step towards you, “I love you, and you love me. It’s that simple, so why can’t you stay?”
Your own head shook rapidly, “Jake, it’s much more complicated than that and you know it.”
“Damn it, no it isn’t!” he shouted, his voice booming off the walls of the house.
“Jake, what we did was a mistake.”
Your words made him freeze in place, turning to look at you with so much hurt in his eyes that it worried you. You didn’t want to say that, you weren’t sure if you really meant it, but it was clear in that moment that he wasn’t having a word you were saying, and he clearly didn't understand the seriousness of the situation. They were the only words you could say that would get him to stop.
“Rather you want to accept it or not, I’m engaged. I’m getting fucking married,” even you sounded like you didn’t want to believe it.
“Things are different now, Jake. Me and you, we aren’t the same small town love drunk kids we used to be. You’re a fucking rock start for crying out loud,” you wailed as you gestured to the expansive house you were standing in.
“And we can sit here and play house, and play pretend like everything’s like it used to be, but all we’re doing is fooling ourselves. And the sooner we learn that, the better.”
Your voice was hoarse from shouting, your tears leaving your face stained an angry shade of red. At that point, you knew you were trying to convince yourself that it was all true more than you were trying to convince him, breaking your own heart with your own words.
Jake was staring at you with a blank expression on his face, his jaw clenching and releasing, but when he spoke, his voice was much softer than his expression was, “so you’re really leaving me?”
You wanted to say no, hell no. I could never. I won’t ever. But your mom’s words rang in your head on repeat.
‘Do it the right way.’
Jake sounds crushed, “Babydoll, please, come on. Don’t…” he took a step towards you, but when you took a step away from him, he stopped. Everything stopped.
The world around him stopped spinning, and his pounding heart came to an abrupt stop, only briefly before pulsing to life again. The rhythm was duller than usual.
He nodded his head, “okay.” His eyes lingered on your trembling frame for a moment longer before he whipped around and disappeared in the direction of his bedroom.
Once he was out of your sight, you rushed to retrieve your discarded clothes, dressing yourself with haste before he could return. If he ever returned.
You heard him slamming drawers in his room, and after a minute passed, you hear one final slam, then his feet stomping back towards you. You tugged your jeans on before he reappeared, his face contorted in anger. In his hand was a large stack of postcards bound together by a withering rubber band.
When he reached the coffee table, he tossed the stack down onto it with a thud as his eyes burned into yours.
“The day your dad passed away, it took all my strength not to reach out to you, no matter how bad I wanted to. I wrote down everything I wanted to say to you on a post card, and from then on, every time I waned to say something to you, I’d write it down.”
He jabbed his finger down at the stack, his chest heaving, “you read those letters and tell me if you think you’re making the right decision.” He left you with nothing more as he stormed into the kitchen and grabbed a half empty bottle of whiskey and made his way back to the back porch, his anger too large for the room he was standing in.
You looked down at the postcards for so long you began to zone out, before you snapped back into reality, snatching up the stack as your body began mechanically moving towards the guest room.
The first thing you did was call a cab on the guest room phone, then you hastily began packing your suitcase. Your vision was blurred from your tears as you crammed clothes and shoes into the bag, not caring that it was unorganized, it was the least of your worries.
This heartbreak seemed to hurt a lot more than the first, and you continued to sob as you prepared to do the last thing you ever wanted to do; leave behind Jake again.
But you had to, it was the right thing to do. You’d spent enough time in dreamland, it was time to return to reality.
The cold, ugly, dismal reality.
The stack of letters were the last thing to go into your suitcase, and once you were finished packing, you made your way back into the living room. Jake was sitting on the couch with his bottle of whiskey, staring in your direction as you came into view. You stopped at the end of the hallway staring back, your knuckles lightening from the grip you had on your suitcase handle.
“Y/n…” he began, a hint of warning in his tone, “I hope you know that if you walk out that door,” he pointed towards it, “you might as well never look back.”
Fresh tears began to spring to your eyes at his harsh words, your lip quivering as you shifted back and forth on your feet.
His stare was intense, so intense it was almost scary. But the moment was broken by the faint sound of tires approaching in the distance.
You took one more good look at him, not knowing the next time you’d see his face. Then with all the strength you could muster, you made your way towards the front door.
The ground was damp as your boots dragged through the gravel, the air still misty.
“Where am I taking you, young lady?” the aging cab driver asked as he took your suitcase from you.
“First motel we get to,” you clipped as you flung the back door open to climb in, “or the second, I don't care. Just get me the hell out of here.”
After getting your bag situated, the driver climbed back into the car with a grunt, starting the meter as he put the car in reverse. Jake was standing on the front porch watching you leave, though all you could see was his silhouette.
Your shoulders shook as a new cry left your body. You realized then, that when you made it back to Tennessee, there would be nothing to ‘sort out’, no decision to be made. You wouldn’t have the chance to search your heart to help make up your mind, because Jake had already made it up for you.
You were going back to Nashville, and you were marrying August Cook.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
Chapter Eleven
Taglist: @jakesgrapejuice @fretaganvleet @josh-iamyour-mama @why-ami-on-here @objectsinspvce
#greta van fleet#gvf#daniel wagner#greta van fleet smut#greta van fic#greta van smut#jake gvf#danny gvf#gvf fic#josh gvf#greta van fluff#greta van fleet fic#greta van angst#greta van fleet fan fiction#jake kiszka fic#jake kiszka#jake kiszka smut#josh kiszka fic#josh kiszka
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey guys! I'm out with chapter 3. Caution: mild smut ahead (under the cut)
A Night to Remember - 3
He sauntered in like he owned the blood place. Well, he did, but Nandini wasn’t too happy to remember that.
“well well well look what we have here” he smirked. Confident at first glance, his slightly curved shoulders belied his weariness.
Nandini was mulling over what to say – but there was no need as he continued
“couldn’t stay away, could ya? Irresistible as I am” his goading tone instilled unwarranted shame in her. She snapped at herself – why must she be shamed? THEY sought her help. HIS ego can’t change the truth.
“sure, if you consider near-insolvency to be sexy” she barked “ after all that drama, chellam, they didn’t need my help falling into a pit” Nandini was certain she looked crazy right then.
She noticed his jaw clench and bemoaned how badly she wanted to throw herself at him. But only after wacking him with the tv remote.
He took measured steps towards her and she momentarily feared she’d poked the bear.
“I’m not here to pick a fight…”
“So you’re here to be an ungrateful pri…”
“Aren’t you hurt- given how often you jump to conclusions ?”
“nothing you should be concerned about. Enjoy your vacation in the mansion you’ll inherit for sure now” she deadpanned.
“I thought you’d hate to return..to this place .. and its inhabitants!”
“A girl’s gotta look after herself- and you guys can look after your fancy mansion” she sighed, there’s no point recounting the sleepless nights preceding her visit here.
Her heartbeat rapidly. Work stress was predictable and she looked forward to it.
Returning to this place, the graveyard of her innocence, unsettled her. From the first moment of her return she could feel the tense cold air.
Kundhavai looked constantly like she was swallowing something bitter- nervous for a way out for her family but unhappy with Nandini’s presence.
Aditya’s dad and great-aunt hid themselves in their room except for discussing important documents.
Every moment was fraught with anxiety – she feared being called vengeful should she fail to pull them out of their deep mess.
The restraint of the last few months finally broke..
“Just great! I try to make an honest living and I’m doomed to help the ones who uprooted my childhood. Gloat and get over it!”
“That’s more reason to thank you- you could have just left us to fall” Aditya’s still voice announced.
“and I’d have relished that- But I didn’t “ Nandini challenged, stepping close enough for their noses to kiss.
“But you didn’t” his warm breath caressed her cheeks.
The drizzle outside was the only rhythm hosting this exchange.
“You could have… it would’ve been fair. Don’t say professionalism- it’s just that your heart can’t be rid of me. What we could’ve been”
She bristled at this insinuation of weakness “How dare you presume I’ll fall into your arms after all everything”, her voice low and threatening. She moved away to collect her rioting senses.
Aditya’s eyes momentarily displayed sympathy before they returned to a confident gaze.
“Because I know you want me back. Just as much as I crave you" he said, gaze unbelieving that she couldn't get the obvious.
“Why did you take up this project? Your company deals with many other clients”
“Why else? I thought it’d be fun to see your snobbish family and employees put in their place, by the kid they kicked out. Wanted to rub their failure in their face- but don’t you worry, I’m a thorough professional “ she smirked , hiding her nervousness.
“I can see that “ his eyes fixed on her as he stepped closer. Aditya’s calm face belied an inner torment.
“Then why did you run" he prodded." My family organised this party to celebrate their financial saviors, you, mostly”
“I couldn’t bear to hobnob with those posh nincompoops. "She chuffed "Carelessly gossiping as they sip wine and chew snacks, like they’ve done a honest day’s work in their life..
Do you know how many sleepless nights it took me – and my colleagues? To restructure your family’s ancient way of extracting profits? To teach them to budget as per 21st century standards and not like a mediaeval polygar? To remove their blindfold and make them rework their trust funds?” Nandini’s voice quivered, hoping to mask her envy.
“I’m willing to reimburse….. the sleepless nights. Just yours” he winked, running his eyes appreciatively over her form. He hoped his shameless flirting will mask his inner self – a little boy desperate for love and acceptance.
She gulped- climbing up the social ladder alone made her a cynic. But something about him turned her into a babe-in-the woods, believing or true love, destiny and other such fluff.
“Too bloody late. I’m a hired worker- and my work just ended” her mind turned just as she uttered it.
How much longer was she going to slog for others?
Her intelligence used to improve the lives of those she hated….
Rich clients viewing her as dirt the moment they no longer needed her. She was twice the women they were yet they're her social superiors?
No matter what – she’ll never be good enough for him.
Neither attain nor forget him. Like an annoying preteen crush on a Jonas brother that refuses to fade.
She wanted him.. unprofessional conduct be damned! She deserved this.
Just an itch to be scratched, right?
“Aren’t army boys notorious for womanising” she blithely challenged, her eyes teasing him
“I wouldn’t know– haven’t had a proper break in years “ his exhaustion creaked through his attempt at sass.
“Welcome home, soldier” she smiled sarcastically. She was gonna get back at them – and have fun doing it.
She kissed him, her lips furious. Fury over his snobbish family, his lack of contact, of disappointed hopes and frustration that her fury only turned him on. He reciprocated passionately, desperate to stake claim over her while accepting her ministrations.
His fingers teasingly ghosted over her back, attempting to find a closure.
Unwrapping that sinfully wet sari gave him more pleasure than successfully defending territory. He was also pleased she was no wilting flower, furiously pushing his military jacket off his shoulders and attacking his shirt buttons next.
Well this is what happens when passion is suppressed for too long, they mused- their busy careers requiring them to be on best behaviour.
He laid her on the couch, admiring the vision of his greatest conquest – and aware that he would soon become her’s- before quickly joining her. His patience was wearing thin, she sensed as his grip grew tighter while grabbing her. The sight of him, the perfect aristocratic officer, losing control over her made her feel powerful.
More powerful than graduating or transforming near-bankrupt businesses.
“Don’t make me wait anymore, Nandini” he hoarsely whispered, exciting her more than ever before.
This is happening her mind giddily said butterflies invading her tummy. He laid the blanket she used, beneath her and ensured her comfort before kissing her again.
He gently cajoled her, speaking sweet words as their hips met. It was anything beyond what either of them had imagined as lovelorn youths- the pleasure so sinfully divine that the world that tried to part them became immaterial.
The downpour increased in intensity, almost encouraging the duo to keep pace.
She kissed his chest, as he pleaded her not to close her eyes when she attained euphoria. She egged him on, desperate to make him break resolve – and succeeded when he moaned.
He laid next to her, admiring her confident display, and sleepily smooched her shoulder.
@nashibirne @nspwriteups @favcolourrvibgior @vibishalakshman @thelekhikawrites @dr-scribbler @kovaipaavai @budugu @dosai-maavu @matka-kulfi @curiousgalacticsoul @harinishivaa @chiyaanvikram @celestesinsight @inveter @deepti1011 @itszhunotz @babayagahunt @thegleamingmoon @maisadalawa @ragkee @inlovewithfictionalbeings @happysharkdragon @gowrimenonop-1 @ramcharanobsessed @nature-writes29 @voidsteffy @whippersnappersbookworm @hollogramhallucination @thereader-radhika @sowlspace @rang-lo @nirmohi-premika @love-ps1ff @canonless5 @sampigehoovu @ambidextrousarcher
#ponniyin selvan#aditha karikalan#nandini x aditha#ponniyin selvan fanfiction#nandini x karikalan#nandini
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Moonlight & Fang Ch. 5
Divider by @firefly-graphics
Ari
For as long as I can remember, I have always forged my own path. A lone wolf. Going against the traditions ingrained in me as a pup.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy the company of other wolves. My knot can more than attest to that. I just like the freedom to come and go as I please. Living in the shadows, affords me a means of which to protect himself and help other supernaturals, born and bitten, get to safety when their lives are in danger.
Having safely delivered a young Firbolg back into the arms of their mother. I was left to my own devices once more. I had been exploring the vast forest of what was rumored to be cursed land.
These woods may be dark and ominous, but I felt an ease wash over me as I crossed through its threshold and set foot upon its soil.
My wolf, who is normally pacing back and forth, unable to settle, is oddly calm the deeper I go. A steady glow in the distance catches my attention. As the wind makes its way through the trees, it carries with it a myriad of scents, coming from the direction of the light.
Four distinct scents to be precise. One of which has my wolf perking up, wanting to play. I can smell that the scents are mingled together. Three males mixed in with a very strong female. Most likely Alpha’s and their Omega. Mates. Pack. I should turn away and go on about my business; but my stubborn wolf is pushing me forward.
I watch the group from the shadows. The female’s beauty is unparalleled. Draped in black, like myself, from head to toe. A perfect matching set, if I do say so myself. I’m not one for sharing though. So I will have to challenge the head alpha.
Too bad there doesn't seem to be one. They naturally follow her. What a powerful Omega she must be. I can sense she is much more than just a wolf and I’m dying to know what that is.
Selene
I can sense the eyes of a wolf, an Alpha to be specific, observing us from the protection of the shadows. As much as he is trying to mask his scent, the notes of sandalwood, black tea and pepper fill my lungs as I inhale deeply. The way it meshes with ours has my wolf ready to perfume the air.
It looks as if another mate has found their way to me. It’s been only months since Sy and I bonded. The fates must be smiling upon us for our paths to cross so soon. You won’t find me complaining.
Time for this game of hide and seek to come to an end. “Are you going to brood in the shadows all night or are you going to join us?”
A tense moment passes as my mates look at me like I'm crazy, talking to the trees. Or maybe they think I'm taunting Othello. That is until a figure emerges from the darkness. Shrouded in black, a hood obscuring his face.
“I didn’t want to impose. I’m not much of the group setting type.”
“A lone wolf.” I tease. “How fitting. Removed from the shadows yet still remaining hidden behind swaths of fabric.”
“If you wish to see my face, you need only ask little one.” He states. Charm oozing from his pores with every word.
“Oh, this is going to be fun.” Dean quips.
“Quite.” Jax agrees.
I close the distance between and this new wolf. I have nothing to fear here. This he may be charismatic and based off of his build, most likely skilled with a weapon. But he never would have made it this far into my land if it was with malice intent.
I smile my sweetest of smiles, and place my hands behind my back. Effectively placing my ample breasts on display. “Would you be so kind as to remove your hood, solitarius lupus?”
I watch on as his hands push the well crafted fabric off of his head. Revealing a bearded jaw, cerulean eyes, and longish brown hair that I would love to run my fingers through. I am so captivated by his looks that I almost forget how to breathe.
“Not what I was expecting under there.” Sy mumbles under his breath.
“I have too memorable a face to allow myself to walk freely without cover. Being able to be invisible is necessary in my line of work.” He calmly states.
“I’d ask you what that line of work is, but I’m sure I’d have to pay for that information. Right now we have more pressing things to address.”
“And those are?”
“I’m pretty certain your wolf has a strong idea of what it might be.”
“Let me guess. It has something to do with your rousing scent.”
“My scent makes your wolf all warm and fuzzy does it?”
“He’s practically foaming at the mouth.”
“Good. You're right where the fates deem you to be.”
“And how would you know that?”
“Because, like you, I was a lone wolf for a long time. Until the fates brought them to me." I wave my hand in the direction of my pack. "Each tested to ensure they were worthy of a mate such as I.”
“So I am to be tested?” He queries.
“It is not mandatory. The choice is yours to make. Prove your worth and fulfill your destiny. Or walk away and be left wondering what could have been.”
“Say I accept. What challenge would I face?”
“Need to see all the angles before making a decision, I see.” I tilt my head. Almost as if in thought. When my wolf and I knew from the moment we sensed him in the shadows what his test would entail.
“Something like that.” He responds.
“A game of agility and wills.” I declare. “One dagger each. The first to draw the others blood along their blade is the victor. And may do with the loser as they please.”
A cocky smile crosses his face. “Challenge accepted.”
Ari
“Excellent.” Her plump lips, up turn in a devilish smirk. She takes her pointer finger, nail elongated into a thick black claw, and slides it down her thigh. Forming a tear in the fabric of her dress, to which she grabs and tears down to the hem. Repeating the process to the other leg. Allowing for freedom of movement I can only guess.
Upon the bronzed skin of her right thigh, sits a leather sheath. So the little Omega was at the ready far before I made my way here. This may be more interesting than I thought.
I watch with rapt attention as she removes the weapon from its well worn home.
The blade, black as midnight, has a broad, warped cross-guard. An elaborate coil of mixed metals on each side. Which makes it both balanced and capable of protecting the user's hands against any sliding sword.
This weapon wasn't created by just any blacksmith. The hilt is adorned in black and red leather and a fairly small black pommel is decorated with precious gems. Fine details which prove how carefully this weapon was crafted.
It fits perfectly in her delicate hands.
I remove my own dagger from its hiding place tucked between my belt. The blade itself is bare. No decorations or engraved patterns. A sheathed sword has a hidden blade and a sword in use will be dirty and bloody, so only the hilt needs decorations. And mine is dressed in the runes of my ancestors. Offering protection in battle.
As the moonlight shines down upon us, she stands draped in a flowing black dress. Ready to engage in an intense duel with a skilled adversary. Her amber eyes gleaming with determination as she clasps the hilt of her dagger.
The stakes are high, for the first drop of crimson spilled upon the ground shall proclaim the victor.
The air crackles with anticipation as our blades dance with deadly precision, weaving a tapestry of swift strikes and agile parries. Both of us, fueled by a burning desire to prove their prowess, move swiftly.
Her body is an embodiment of grace and strength.
The clash of metal resonates through the trees, as if nature itself holds her breath, witnessing the outcome of this exhilarating contest. With every move, her determination intensifies. Her movements become a mesmerizing display of artistry.
In this fateful duel, honor, skill, and destiny intertwine.
Somehow she manages to seize a split-second advantage. With a swift and calculated strike, she swivels beneath my raised bicep and grazes the flesh beneath my chin. Drawing forth a small but decisive flow of scarlet.
The duel ends, the goddess before me standing triumphant, chest heaving from the exhilaration of battle. Her victory, a testament to her unwavering skill and indomitable spirit.
I lower my weapon. “It takes great skill to be able to best me. With no use of magic at that.” I step forward, decreasing the space between us even more. “I am nothing, if not a man of my word. To the victor go the spoils. What is it you want of me, little one?”
Selene
“Now what could I possibly want from a lone wolf such as you.” I lick his still warm blood from my blade and tap it against my chin. “You do taste oh so lovely. I think I would like some more along my tongue.” I lunge forward with my beloved dagger. Made especially for me by my favorite blacksmith as a testament to our love and bond.
I give him a fresh cut just above his clavicle, as I allow my blade to render his shirt to shreds. The crimson pooling at the base of his neck. Standing on my tip-toes, hands gripping his waist, I am able to lean forward and suck on the wound. As I pull myself closer, I become aware of a very prominent thickness pushing against my hips.
“Seems I’m not the only one who enjoyed that wolf.” I take a half a step back and look him in his soulful blue eyes. “Before I claim my true prize, I need know of your name.”
“Why?” He questions.
“Because I want to know who’s name to scream to the gods about who is providing me the utmost pleasure of course.” I bite my bottom lip.
“Ari.”
“Ari. Mmm. Rolls right off the tongue.” I let my hand wander down his chest until I reach his rather large bulge. Allowing my fingers to trace the outline of his cock. “Now, are you going to be a good wolf and let me have my way with you, unchallenged.” I quirk my brow.
He narrows his eyes at me . “I surrender to no one.”
“Oh goody. I hoped you’d say that.” I practically beam with pent up energy as I look over to my pack. “I’d normally have my mates watch over a first mating. Safety precautions and all. But you seem the prickly sort. You’d have your eyes on them more than me and the pleasure I’m bestowing upon you. So I will send them a distance away. But not so far that they can not come to my aid if needed.”
“Why would they need to? I mean you no harm. I don’t even know your name.”
“It’s Selene. You are Silver tongued and full of charm Ari. That is the most dangerous sort. You can slide under my defenses and strike all my vulnerable parts. I won’t risk it alone. So they stay close.”
He gives a charming smile. “Agreed. Though I’m not sure I have much of a choice.”
“You don’t.” I smile. Addressing my pack. My eyes never straying from the hold they have on Ari’s. “Dean, my love, would you mind finding a nice spot for you all, that may provide a semblance of privacy for us but allow for the link to stay strong.”
“Of course. I know just the place. Follow me boys. Let’s leave our Omega to do as destined and claim another soul.”
“Sel, you use the link if he tries to pull anything. And I mean anything.”
“Oh, Sy, I’ll be fine. I caught all of you after all.”
“Correction. I, in fact, caught you.” Jax boasts.
“Move along. Move along. I have pleasure to give and receive. As well as a claim to test.”
“A claim?”
“Oh yes. You didn't think you just happened upon our fire by happenstance did you? The fates brought you here to test you. Congrats, you won.”
“Won what?”
“Me, of course. The right to claim me and become a member of my pack. Unless you’re afraid to be part of my pack.”
“I don’t share.”
“I don’t believe that. I think you just never cared enough to try. I won’t tie you down. If you don't want me as a mate, then by all means, be on your way. But be aware.” I step closer once more. “You will be leaving with a reminder of your cowardice. Turning your back on your fated. It will be deep and scar. You will never be rid of the thoughts of me.”
“I am no coward.” He grits out.
“Prove it then. Claim me. Make me yours and I will make you mine. There is no other way.”
Ari
She wants to play with fire and tempt my wolf. Well, I’ll gladly watch her burn.
With a growl, I reach forward. Wrapping my hand around the back of her neck and pulling her forward into a bruising kiss. She tastes of wild magic and sin. Breaking the kiss, I leave her breathless. Hand placed on her heaving chest as she tries to regulate her intake of air.
“Dress. Gone. Now. Before I cut it to shreds.”
She pulls her dagger back out, turning it over with a flick of her wrist and cuts it off herself. Nicking her chest in the process. “It’s just fabric. Need further assistance with yours.” She innocently asks. Doe-eyed and sweet.
“Oh you’re dangerous, little one.”
“What better to challenge you with.” She giggles.
I kiss her once more as I unlace my pants and release my aching member into the chill night air. Gripping her thighs, I lift her up onto my naked chest. Walking forward, I allow my wolf to navigate us to the nearest tree and I slam her up against it. Affording me a nip to the lip in retaliation.
Her slick if making a mess of the thick hair trailing down my abdomen. She’s ripe and ready for me. So I notch my swollen head between her leaking folds and thrust inside her.
Only giving her a moment to adjust to the size of me splitting her open, I start a punishing pace. Slamming into her hard and deep. Hitting all of the sweet spots and grinding my pelvis down against her little bundle of nerves. As her back scratches against the bark, leaving its own mark behind. Our chests, still slick with blood, slide against one another as the very essence of our beings co mingle together.
I can feel her orgasm coming on quickly and with one more deep thrust, I watch her soar over the edge. Screaming my name to Gods, as she promised.
This is not how I wish to claim her. No, I have something special in mind for that.
Pulling out, her tight cunt grips me in protest as she whines. Unhappy to be empty once more. I place her back on solid ground and turn to a patch of soft grass to our left.
Lying on my back on the forest floor I turn to her. “C’mere Omega. I won't make you present for me. But I do want you to ride me to where I can watch that delectable bottom bounce upon my pelvis.”
She licks her lips before biting them and heading over to my prone frame on shaky legs. Instead of just straddling my hips and sitting on my cock, she proceeds to kneel above my head and crawl over my torso.
I grip her hips and lick her sweet pussy from slit to clit. With a generous slap to her ass for the brattiness. A fresh wave of slick drools out of her swollen lips onto my chest as she makes her way to my cock.
With a glance over her shoulder, she places her hands on my thighs and lifts up her hips. Slowly she lowers herself down on my throbbing cock. Undulating above me. Hips swiveling and pelvis grinding against me.
Her walls clench down on me whenever my head grazes her sweet spongy spot. She’s lost in the pleasure of it all. Sweat dampened skin, glittering in the silvery moonlight. She reaches her hands up and gathers her curls atop her head. Exposing the unmarked flesh on the back of her neck.
That unblemished skin is like a siren's call to my wolf. I raise my knees between her thighs. Widening them further as I move to sit up. My fingers tease along where we are joined as one until my ring and middle fingers decide to dance along her engorged clit. Rewarding me a mewling whine.
Her hips begin to speed up and right as she is at the precipice of another climax, I latch my mouth to the back of her neck and sink my fangs in deep. The sweet tang of her blood fills my mouth as she denotes. Her pussy gushing slick around my cock.
I thrust up into her, prolonging the pleasure coursing through her body. That is until she pulls my slick soaked hand up to her face and bites the inside of my wrist. Completing our bond and setting me off with it.
My cock barely makes it back, deep into the warmth of her channel before my knot pops. Locking us together as I fill her full of every drop of me I have to give. I have been without companionship for sometime now. So I quickly have her filled to overflowing.
As we release each other to clean our claims and savor in the rush of endorphins. I run the fingers of my free hand along her folds. Collecting my seed along my fingers and raising them to her blood stained lips.
Without prompting, she leans forward and sucks them into her mouth. A pleasant moan vibrates through her chest as I feel her walls squeeze me once more.
I nuzzle against her shoulder. “Forever mine.”
Selene
“After all of that, there’s no getting rid of me Alpha.” I chuckle. “If you run, there is nowhere in this realm you could go where I won’t find you. I would scorch a path of fiery destruction in my wake and make you crawl through the embers back to me. And that still would not be enough.”
“Such a savage little thing. In a beautiful package.” He whispers. Undeterred by my threat.
“She means every word of it.” Sy proclaims, emerging from the shadows with your red cloak, draped over his arm. He walks confidently over to you and his new pack mate. “She ate my little brother for sneaking up on her and stabbing her while she fed in wolf form.”
“And she devoured my father and our hunting party when she was but a pup. Not to mention the countless souls that have lost their lives to her fangs in these accursed woods.” Dean adds in.
I feel Ari move his head behind me. The hairs of his beard tickling my skin.
“Don’t look at me.” Jax throws his hands up. “She never killed anyone of importance to me. I was born this way and orphaned. Made a stable boy turned stable man. I care not for the people of that village.”
“To be clear.” I start. “Sy, your brother got what he deserved. The coward. And Dean,” I turn to him. “Let’s not forget that your father and his hunting party murdered mine in front of my very eyes. My wolf demanded blood for blood. I will never apologize for that.”
“Ruthless.” Ari speaks into my skin. “No wonder you were destined for me.”
“Or were you the one destined to be mine?” I query back.
“You had three mates before me. A pack.” He nips at my shoulder. “You needn’t another mate.”
“Actually…” I ghost my fingers over my bite on his wrist. “According to the Triple Goddesses, it is prophesied that I will have 5 mates. Upon claiming my final mate, balance on my land will be restored. The damage my mother dealt will be undone.”
“Your mother?”
“The Hag. But she’s nothing you need to concern yourself about. I killed her ages ago.” I state with a smile.
I feel him shake his head behind me and sigh. “You're something else, little one. I feel like I won’t have time to think about leaving as you’ll be keeping on my toes and entertained.”
“Does anyone else feel stronger with each new claim?” Dean blurts out.
“Now that I think of it, yeah.” Jax answers. “Just now when Red completed the bond, I felt this surge of energy zip through my spine. My skin has been thrumming with magic ever since.”
“Interesting.” Ari observes. “Well it seems there is only one more to go. So I guess I’ll have to wait and see. As of now I am feeling pretty fucking incredible.”
One more to go.
One more before I properly feel complete. Call it witches intuition or wolf instinct but I feel like this last one is going to be different.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Glued to my couch.
I'm told dealing with grief "comes and goes in waves."
I understand that everyone has their way of coping and that not everyone's experience is the same yet the emotions can be understood by the collective conscious.
I've been glued to my couch for the past few weeks, I also got hit with a flu, I'm told that's grief's friend who loves to visit during these times, thoughtful.
I'm sitting here today, trying to figure out what to do; I don't feel up to it to socialize, as if I'm heavily social as is and I'm not sure if I feel well enough to go restaurant/cafe hopping. Sometimes its the fear of prolonged isolation that leads me to go out rather than the isolation itself. I genuinely love solitude. I can never wrap my head around how one can't enjoy their own company. I love emotional connection, but one of quality. Not for fillers. Anyways, with that said, I decided to stay in this half the day. I thought maybe I'd take my feelings and emote it somewhere rather than bottling it all inside.
Grief is excruciatingly painful.
I can't remember the last time I've felt heartbreak.
Some days you're hopeful and resilient. Wise beyond years, telling yourself you know they're in a better place and resting well. Other days, you're reminded that someone who was such an integral part of your life is missing. And then the painful events that led up to that point. Recovering from caregiving someone with a fatal illness is another process in itself.
I'm not sure how much I'm ready to share but all I know I felt the need to emote these feelings somewhere. I've been trying to move forward and look more towards what the future has to offer now that a lot of time has freed up, but this put me in a bigger rut than I already was.
I notice that I put myself in cycles that are unnecessary, sometimes as an armor to remain stuck in my comfort zones. Crazy, how our subconscious will play into these roles we've created in our minds. Then comes grief, to change perspective in letting you know that the old ways, they're no longer working. That new things, need to happen. That most of the stuff we used to care about are frivolous. And that hopefully we can skip the entire grief process and get to the good part in finding meaning again. But that's not how life works, and whatever we don't deal with now, will show up later and not in the kindest way either.
So far, its been endless binging on heartfelt comfort movies and many days of not wanting to get out of bed. Losing focus on work and trying to understand if this is going to be ongoing for a lifetime. Its been painful more than I could ever predicted it to be. But words won't do it justice, not until I'm ready anyway.
That's it for today.
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
When I saw you mention ur releasing the fic, I was so excited!! I absolutely love this android concept. I love how you explained further with the details on how the world progressed into it, how it almost became a norm to have an android for one another. That to for several reasonings, especially the loneliness. Which I relate to a lot.
Can I also mention how Jin is the perfect candidate for this type of scenario! He heavily fits the boyfriend look almost realistic.
He was such a sweetheart, almost immediately being the teasing bf yet caring as fuck. I really liked the cute little moments a amongst both. The part of him having small realisations over those little moments, feeling urges to do things that aren't "normal"
"This feeling like he was trapped behind a glass wall and on the verge of breaking through it and finally taking control of his body." I felt bad for him for feeling this way yet it was scary because that's a sign of it going wrong eventually too
The part when she said if he'd remember her
But the slow and scary transition of him liking mc, keeping her memories and replaying them with others, feeling in his safe space until that client forced themselves on him.
"It felt like he was throwing himself against solid glass - spider cracks slowly but surely spreading along its surface with each violent attack until it finally shattered and fell apart. And he could move. " I loved this description. He always felt trapped with the glass until he could finally open.
But that also lead him to cause other things and murdering. But at the same time, the client violated him completely. But him finally feeling like a human must have been terrifying and confusing tho nothing could be done after that
"He didn’t want to be decommissioned - he didn’t want to die. But he also didn’t want to let go of you. That was no longer an option. " I found this really sweet 😭 I know he's a yandere but its definitely a lot more softer than rough and how he cared for her. Really love your descriptions! 💘💘
But the sick feeling that washes and realisations of him having a virus. At the same time, mc always wanted to be special in his eyes and unfortunately she was in the most horrifying way.
I really really enjoyed this overall, the concept, your mind??, your the best at writing characters so crazy (in the best way I mean bc wow I love ur characters so much) I love your dialogues, your descriptions on everything is so amazing, how easily we can see the shift beginning to occur and how each one of them felt in their ways 💘 I really love android jin, hes coming my favourite after reading this 😭 idc I'm insane but I want him 🤣
Yay! I'm happy that you liked the android concept!
When I started writing Awake, I knew that I wanted the android to be a hyung line member. It just so happened that when I got the idea for the fic, Jin enlisted. And I really missed him and needed some comfort 😭
This fic takes place in the "Detroit Become Human" universe, so a lot of the ideas about the androids come from there - them operating under strict parameters, them learning how to feel emotions, etc. The scene where Jin "becomes human" and murders his client was heavily inspired by the Eden Club chapter in Detroit Become Human. I really didn't want to write about a sex-bot though and that would put the MC in a really difficult position because then what would make her any better than the other clients? And then I remembered that professional cuddlers existed and I wanted to play around with that.
The company that makes androids is Cyberlife, and when androids start "deviating" from the programming Cyberlife claims it's a virus that's making them simulate emotions. The actual question is - is it really a virus or is it sentience? And I think that's something interesting to think about in regard to Jin's fic.
In short, I really love DBH so I was happy to expand on that universe in my own way with my love for the yandere trope as well as BTS 😂
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
4/26/2024
leap years are for remembering
god sometimes i read the things i used to write on here or even in my old journals and i cringe (for lack of a better word) at how seriously i was taking things. this page is such a time capsule. i love it, im glad ive documented my feelings over the years but it makes me feel… weird. nostalgia is so interesting.
im having a really good and also strange time with (what i assume is) my adult brain. good bc i can trust my judgement better than i have ever been able to; things just make sense in an innate way now, a way that i struggle describe. strange bc i feel like i know myself less than i ever have but also way more than i ever have at the same time ? im the same person i was at 11 and 12 and 13 and 17 and 18 and 22, and its so crazy to me how different all these ages felt but theyre all me. they didnt really go anywhere, theyre all still inside me. i remember being 22 and still feeling relatively connected to my high-school-self but then just 2 years later i felt decades removed from her. and now i feel decades removed from my 22-year-old-self. the way i would reminisce on 2016 in 2020 is how im reminiscing on 2020 now. lol leap years are for remembering, i guess.
ive found myself reverting back to a lot of things i used to do and enjoy in adolescence. lots of silly topical things, like using pantene instead of all these expensive hair products ive tried over the years. i loved the way it made my hair smell back then and it made it so soft and who cares if it coats my hair in silicon or whatever ill just clarify it every few weeks itll be fine. im also finally letting myself enjoy things from back then that i was afraid to fully embrace for fear of being judged. thats a Huge fun part about getting older i’ve noticed, not caring what others think. id have told you back then that i didnt care about that, and on the surface i didnt. but it would get to me to some degree. i think my music taste from back then is a prime example of that (im not gonna elaborate i know what i mean).
i hope im making 11 and 12 and 13 year old me proud. and i want to tell 16 and 17 and 18 AND 19 year old me it gets better, but also to stop taking such trivial things so seriously maybe. life does not revolve around having a boyfriend (or whatever youd call those fuckers from back then). itll happen when its meant to and it will be so worth it. no one knows what they want at those ages. i barely knew what i wanted until it fell into my lap to be honest, and that only happened after i stopped yearning so hard for that shit and began TRULY enjoying my own company (and my friends’ obviously. love them). this is not where i wanted to go with this, i didnt want to talk about men. i think thats what cringes me out so bad about my old posts/entries, theyre allllllll (mostly) about bOyS. which was age appropriate i GUESS but idk it just caused me so much unnecessary stress lol. i learned eventually, and im glad i did so when i did.
all this to say im very happy. and peaceful. and i love the people i have surrounded myself with. i love being in love and i cannot describe in actual english words how thrilled i am that its with will. even 4 years into it.
being 26 is just so strange i think
0 notes
Text
I feel like a terrible person
I shouldn’t feel the way I do and maybe this whole infatuation is just built on deeper issues with me. I think I hold on to this cause I feel wanted. Even though he doesn’t physically tell me, its in the gestures and the second glances. Like two stupid idiots holding onto this idea of happiness we see in each other. Idk, Im just trying to justify this because it feels right. I havent felt this way since RD. and like, Im just remembering how easy it was to just hold onto this false image of love and place these ideas onto this person because he shows me an ounce of attraction or attention. Theres parts of him I really like and other parts that I don’t know if I can be okay with.
The reason why I feel terrible is bc Im technically the other woman. Its never anything physical but completely like, emotional. He has this life and his shit together. On the outside it just looks like he has it all. And maybe im wrong. Obviously im wrong.
And whats even worse is its not just this one sided thing I can get over easily. He strings me along and he knows. He is very much aware and my friends tell me well he’s shitty and hes never going to leave her no matter how much he tells you he wants you more. But when I talk to him I just don’t feel like what they say is true.
Im also just scared that I feel just a little bit more. I mean there are times when I can acknowledge that hes not what i want and hes the last person I want to be associated with but then theres other times where I feel lonely and I feel like no one wants me and its so easy to go to him to get that validation. The affection i crave. Its like the fairy tale kind of thing whenever Im around him and maybe I shouldn’t say it. He feels like what I’ve been searching for my entire life and maybe thats a bit extreme and I honestly feel ashamed to say it. But if i don’t then its bottled up inside and I want to scream. Its so wrong and perhaps thats what pulls me in more. Would I feel this way towards him if he didn’t have all this other stuff going on? Would I enjoy his company even if he was single and had that freedom to be with me?
Its like this dramatic love story with a crazy plot and it has you feeling and wishing that the girl gets the guy in the end. I don’t think that this is how it’s going to end. I feel like from this point on i need to actually move on. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I don’t know if I can. But I wont know unless I try.
I don’t want to be that girl who gets in the middle of another persons relationship for my own selfish reasons. I don’t want to end up being the girl who thinks he wouldn’t do it to me too. I don’t want to be the terrible person.
Idk this whole thing just has me questioning my morals. My belief system. Its not entirely my fault. I knew what I was getting into too but I didn’t think it would come to this. Its so hard to stop feelings from growing when you keep putting yourself in the same environment where that person is.
I think theres something we’re both lacking in our lives that brings us to each other in drunken moments. Something that has us slipping into conversations we’re too scared to have when we’re sober.
0 notes
Text
Another journey of moving on
I think that God is a jealous God in a sense that He should be our number one when it comes to our thoughts. So I think I learned to control my mind when its going crazy regarding this infatuation.
I also think that God didnt instruct me to like him so liking him is disobedience. He didnt tell me he is the man for me so I will keep quiet and time to retreat.
At the same time, I think God is telling me that my peace comes with abiding in Him.
So I'm just listening to praise and worship songs while working and I feel the comfort of His embrace. I feel God is telling me this is how I should deal with pain/hurt.
This reminded me as well of what Pastor Ric said about God. "Do you think God is a bad matchmaker?" You who have little faith. Have BIG faith Rizza for your life! Trust God wholeheartedly.
And today, I think God told me to just be grateful and enjoy the life that I currently have. Enjoy this beautiful moment of being able to live alone, walk and ride the bus, go to work, spend time as a single person! Stop constantly thinking that your life could be better if you only have this and that. A car, a husband, better job etc. God have given me so much more than I could ask for! He took me here in AMAZON - one of the best companies in the world and with the job I am good at, took me here in the UK from the Philippines. I will be fo
LIFE IS TOO SHORT to be occupied by thoughts about relationship or about someone. God is telling me I have such a BEAUTIFUL LIFE. Though I tripped again for another heartache I won't be able to control what happens to me only what I can do. I think in the past heartaches I tried to solve it by my own and now this time the Lord is teaching me how to solve it with Him. I remember one of the reasons I wanted to go to dream week is because of this heartache and I remember singing the song "You picked me up, you turned me around, you placed my feet on solid ground.... Because you healed my heart, you change my name, forever free I'm not the same."
Again, learning from the past. You won't gain until you learn to let go. I need to let go of my insecurities and let go of him. I pray God help me to move on. Help me to redirect my focus to something else that is more important.
0 notes
Text
Journal Entry 5: Adios Mexico
As quickly as I arrived in Mexico, it was time to say adios, no rekindling things with Phil, and despite Melania’s best efforts and ferocious swiping, no new flame for either of us to keep us warm in the arctic tundra of Fargo.
Life had been a series of ups and downs. However, I finally upgraded my status and obtained my own airport lounge pass, with the best travel credit card on the planet… the venture x. The $400 fee was offset by $750 in free travel... the benefits don’t mean much when you can’t manage your money and end up with sky high interest and maxed out cards… Nevertheless, although I still occasionally traveled by chicken bus and stayed in hostels, I felt like a boss when I used my pass to enter the lounge without Phil’s platinum Amex.
As I sat at the high bartop stool, I ordered a free frosty mango cocktail and quesadilla. I enjoyed the feeling of being a “baller on a budget” and receiving my free order worth about $24.22. Small victories like this kept me motivated. As I sip on my final Mexican airport cocktail, my mind begins to wander and think of all the stress I had piled on my plate the moment I arrive back home.
I check shopify: 67 orders to fill. Damn..that feels great…but also gets my head spinning..
Most entrepreneurs move from one venture to another, but oh, not me, the multi-tasking maniac. I just keep adding. Four companies now. It’s like an addiction. My plate is full and something has to give. First, I gave up dating and sex, lately, it’s been sleep, next it will be the remaining amount of my sanity. I need some serious help.
Despite working tirelessly and reinvesting every dollar I made, I always felt like it was never enough, but I just received a heartwarming message from my marketing director. She expressed how grateful she was for her job and how it had helped her attend her dream college and graduate debt-free, all while supporting herself and her family.. Although I felt a twinge of jealousy, her message reminded me that the work I am doing is making a big difference in life. I can’t give up, not yet…
Multi-tasking is not something to be proud of. I need to focus on one and let the others go, but I can’t decide the direction. My biggest passion project has been my sexual health and wellness company. My products help women that suffer from pain during sex, and also help increase pleasure. How could I possibly give that up? My design and photography help pay my bills, but my mushroom company is exploding.
My child demands my attention 80% of the time and my mind desperately needs its daily fitness routine. Then there’s skincare, housework, laundry. My friendships and family relationships are also a priority, so what needs to give? I swear. I cannot take add another thing! Buzz…Buzzz. Just as I feel my heart racing and anxiety building. I see a notification from Dr. Sal. My heart jumps a little. The mysterious stalker from Playa.
Buzz…Buzz…another notification….than another…than another. Geez what the hell is this guys problem? I ask myself as I unlock my screen to see what all the fuss is about.
“Hello Pretty lady!”
“This is Sal”
“We met at Illios.”
“Did you put something in my drink, because I suddenly feel crazy”.
“About you…”
Yikes!!!! I think to myself this guy is next level stalker!
“I could be wrong” he continues to text “ but I felt like we both had a certain level of interest in each other. I would love to connect with you. If you are interested let me know, otherwise, I can wish you the best and I will try to get those sexy eyes of yours out of my mind.”
“I hope this is not too direct.”
I promptly respond, “Hey, I think you’re wrong on this one. You were there with a girlfriend, so I wasn’t looking.”
“Hahaha” he quickly texts back.
“Not a girlfriend”
“Just a date for the night.”
“But I have been wrong before.”
What a freaking Liar! I think to myself, as I clearly remembered what she had said, SINCE JANUARY. I decide to call him out.
“My understanding was that you had been traveling together since January.”
“NOOOOOO!!!” he insists “Your intel is not correct…but it doesn’t change the fact that you looked sexy as hell!” His statement makes me audibly chuckle. “Haha! I found it amusing that you asked me if I was “single” single, yes YOU were the one on a date.”
“Well, I AM single and a single date doesn’t change that!” He says. “Want to see where I am now?” he asks, as I roll my eyes. At least this is entertaining. “Sure”, I respond. He sends a photo of an incredible mountain range, with towering peaks stretching up towards the heavens and fluffy white clouds swirling above. It’s like something out of a postcard, or maybe even a dream. I can’t help but feel awestruck by the sheer beauty of it all. It’s not just beautiful, it’s breathtaking. The only mountain I’ve seen lately is my mountain of laundry.
“Fernie, British Columbia, beautiful right?”
“Gorgeous!” I reply.
“Your sexy eyes, and this view, then it would be ideal! I want to take you here on a ski trip, or we can go to Switzerland and ski the alps.” he says.”
“I am an immigrant who is Canadian now, been here since 2007; My heritage is middle eastern, Dubai to be specific. I moved out here for medical school.”
“Gotcha, that’s cool” I reply shortly “So you’re like a retired dentist or something?”
“Haha, if you would have just connected with me on Linkedin.” he responds.
“I don’t feel like you took me seriously at all!”
“I did not.” I say.
“I can tell you don’t take me serious. I am putting effort in here!”
“You have something in you that deeply intrigued me, I am trying to figure that out.” He writes
I reply genuinely, “I will be honest, it takes a lot to grab my attention. I haven’t even been on a date in over seven months.”
“That must be a super hard 7 months, WOW!” he replies.
“Nope!” I say, “I have been too focused on my businesses to even care!”
“That is amazing!”he says. “So the real story is, I saw you the night before on the roof top.
I literally could not take my eyes off you…
Even the girl that was with me was upset with me.
But there was something about your outfit, your energy, it is very sexy.
Now listen, I am a busy guy with work. I find many girls I date don’t get my work demands
They have too much free time on their hands.
I LOVE hustlers. I got to North America in 2002 with a one way ticket and $200 in my pocket. And now I have built up an empire. I have 30 private ER’s, I provide work for over 400 people. I see what I want and go after it. And now, I want you, Kate.”
I feel a flush to my cheeks and quickly try to downplay his words. “Oh really, well me and my friends thought you and your girlfriend wanted a threesome!”
“Hilarious!” he replies “I don’t think that crossed her mind, and I am not into that. I find it amusing that this was the only thought that came to your mind when looking at me.”
“Hey!” I interject, “I wasn’t even looking at you, my friend Melania pointed it out!”
“Wow!” he replies “and I just wanted you..and that is before I knew how smart and driven you are, I just thought you were hot, and I couldn’t hide my attraction from my date. I was in trouble both nights.”
“Ok, I gotta go board my flight Dr. Sal…see I checked your Linkedin” I playfully ignored the entirety of his text.
Wow, this guy is seriously over the top! I mean, come on, it’s obvious he’s a total narcissist, I decided right then and there. (I mean, seriously, did he think his borderline stalking, constant staring, and getting my contact info in front of his date were subtle?) And now, he’s trying to use a little trick called “future painting” to get inside my head and make me think we have some amazing future together. This is like a whole new level of crazy!
So what exactly is “future painting,” you ask? Well, it’s basically when a narcissist plants all sorts of promises and ideas in your head about how wonderful your life will be together. They’ll tell you anything you want to hear – trips, marriage, kids, you name it. And in the beginning, they’re all ears, listening intently to every word you say so they can add it to their “narcissist playbook” for later use. Yep, they’ll use your hopes, dreams, and past traumas to manipulate you down the line.
And don’t be fooled – these guys are masters of pretending to be just like you. “Oh my gosh, purple is your favorite color too? What a coincidence!” Yeah, right. It’s all part of their game to get you hooked on their grand vision for your future together.
🚩details:
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
escargoting
Mads
scottulliman
Scott Ulliman
marcojean20
Blog Jurídico - Artigos e Notícias
d3byy
Sem título
jnkmamma
jnkmamma