#it's not the same as stealing from walmart
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not us spending money we don't have on food delivery so we could have some fucking stupid ice cream while alana is working from home and her mom has the car... and then the driver steals the food 😭
#this is the third this has happeneddddd#it's always at night#like always at night#i get that other people also need food but like you legit have no idea the circumstances of who you're stealing from when you steal food#it's not the same as stealing from walmart#alana works nights and i cant drive like it's our only option sometimes#+money was so tight this week that now having that chunk missing while we wait for a refund is ouch#treat yourself with consequences
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HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!! To this elderly bapy boye!!! he...!!!
#cats#ghhbbb this is the first time I've genuinely considered tumblr blazing a post lol but no.. i shant.. I feel too weird putting financial#information into tumblr or whatever unless I made like a seperate bank account or something not associated with anyhting else lol#but I gave it serious contemplation which is really sayng something (the evil magical spell that all cats cast over u by their perfection)#ANYWAY.................... old man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it's technically like march 8th but I did his party a little early. I have other pictures to post later maybe too..hrmm#The '1' candle is actually a '4' candle with the side part cut off because they didn't have any 1s#I went all out (like under $15 still lol) and got new birthday decorations for him instead of using the same old#ones from the past like 5 birthdays that I've done for the cats lol..#His theme was rainbows mostly in as light of colors as I could find#The legal age to drive a car in the US is 16 so.... honk honk beep beep.. I shall go out and buy him the most expensive car on the market#as soon as March 8th comes. then he can run little errands (probably mostly getting kibbles or chicken somewhere)#stealing the rotisserie chickens from walmart or something lol#AND they would let him have them. He would drive up and walk inside and they'd call the manager to come over#and they would be so moved by his presence and his big goofy stare that they would just be like..... okey.. have all the chicken in the#entire store. Actually. have the store. it's yours now. And This would continue all the way up the chain until he was handed#the entire walmart company. And every other company. a boy who owns everything. probably wouldnt use it for evil. he'd just abolish#everything and then focus on eating chickens.. ........ chibken son...
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hes a 10, but he always tells me to "take off the green ribbon" i have tied around my neck like stfu and mind yor own buisness bitch
#i got this from a convo i had with a freind#also from that same freind#he dose this thing called “deimos rambles” i think im gonna steal that#sorry deimos#fizzy rants#it feels like some shitty dollar store ripoff#i dont wanna say fizzy rambles cuz thats ur thing but like idk man#fizzy ...uh..#minds going blank here#ILL THINK OF SOMETHING but until i think of something better ill just be the walmart ripoff of Deimos rambles#lmao ok bye
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there are things abt me that i dont talk about not because im being secretive i either just forget to mention it or think no one wants to hear about it but i think it gives like important context to whats wrong with me 💖
#me when im a child of a messy divorce because my dad has crazy issues that he never got help for so he started self medicating#and dealt with addiction and got to the point of stealing money or trying to return items he never bought to walmart for a refund#and got arrested many times and eventually spent 5 years in prison which literally didnt help at all just gave him more trauma and#caused relationship issues between him and his family which left him without healthy connections and support and#then he got accused of a crime even my mom doesnt believe he did and she'd experienced horrible things from him while they were together#and so he disappeared to run from the police and hes been legally considered a missing person for many years now and it is unknown to#us or any of his family members if hes even still alive out there somewhere and ive had dreams that he comes back and#i wonder if theres something that could be done something that could help him maybe we could never truly be on good terms again but#maybe at least he could have a chance at a decent life even if its away from us#i used to sit on the couch with him and watch nascar and monster trucks when i was little#and i still have some of his nascar novelty items in my desk drawer and the pocket tool that used to be his.#the scars of his tantrums are still in our house the holes he punches in walls covered up with copy paper taped over the wall#and im sure i have the same anger issues or whatever disorders he never got properly diagnosed for because i seem to have inherited everyth#ng from him his eyes his face his hair his anger issues even his handwriting somehow#and he is why im scared of ever doing any drugs because i just know im probably genetically predisposed to addiction just like him#and i dont want that to happen to me#recently i cut my hair and i looked in the mirror and i looked just like him#when i visit my paternal grandparents and aunts and uncles i see the family photos with him hanging on the walls#and i see that large painting that used to be in our house#👍
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*looking at the seven black shirts ive just put in the washer* i need more black shirts
#it wouldnt be a problem if for some reason they didnt all wind up in the wash at the same time#or if i had the perfect crew neck and not a women's walmart crew neck#my sister has the perfect black crew neck shirt but she got it at like target or tj max or some shit idk#need to steal it from her
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Nothing's funnier to me than a capitalist puritans response to telling them it's ok to steal from corporations. They're always like "WHAT. STEALING? You're INSANE!!! Didn't you know that's I L L E G A L??? That it's WRONG??? More illegal than unfair pricing competition and overworking employees."
#these are almost always the same people who never have any social morals#like 'yeah don't steal from the corrupt monopoly corp but we can use slurs against innocent people tho'#sunthoughts#I don't steal but I also don't say shit when I see a dude in dirty clothes hiding ham slices in his coat#I'd rather he eat than walmart make the 39 cents profit tbqh
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stealing stuff from the brothers' closets
mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read
content warnings: none
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Lucifer
imagine opening his gigantic closet and all there is are 3 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, 3 blazers or whatever, a whole box full of gloves, another whole box full of socks, 2 pairs of shoes and one scarf (the cheapest item is 200 grimm too)
anyways he allows you to steal some of his stuff as long as you do not let his brothers see you with it at any cost
lucifer thinks you look adorable wrapped up in his 800 grimm scarf but he'd never tell you (you can tell)
Mammon
mammon doesn't mind you stealing stuff from him, he even tries to get you to take his stuff
he's like 'look mc I got this cool hat' and then places it on your head and when you try to give it back he refuses to accept it
mammon does have a good wide range of clothes and accessories you can steal unlike lucifer
and everything he owns is either from a devildom designer brand or the devildom version of walmart
Leviathan
he almost passes away
not that he minds you wearing his stuff (he actually thinks it's cute, even if it's his limited edition expensive tsl stuff) but he was not ready for the jumpscare of actually seeing you with his things
eventually he gets used to it though and his closet becomes free rein for you and only you
sometimes when he's shopping for new clothes on akuzon he's debating on whether or not to buy the same shirt for you too
Satan
first of all opening his closet is a whole risk because nobody can guarantee you won't expose yourself to the worst sweaters known to man
also like his room, his closet is a mess too
and sometimes when you steal something from him, satan can't even tell you got it from his closet because it's such a mess in there and he wears just the same 3 shirts anyways
but he doesn't mind you taking his stuff as long as you don't damage anything (he won't get mad at you if you do though)
Asmodeus
you are free to steal anything from him, and he is free to steal anything from you
asmo loves it when he sees you wearing something of his
but do not damage anything or it will upset him (asmo can be scary when he's mad but he forgives you after 4 seconds so don't worry)
at some point he gets a whole shelf for his closet and he uses it to store clothes he bought for you, so you can find them next time you burrow something
it's literally labeled 'the mc shelf'
Beelzebub
the least ancient thing in his closet was bought 5 years ago
but if you want to steal his stuff, he'd definitely let you, he thinks it makes you two get closer to each other
beel would even let you keep anything you'd pick if you really love it
sometimes he even just leaves the item in your room
some stuff in his closet is originally owned by belphie because these twins share everything
Belphegor
half of his stuff consists of soft gowns and other sleep-related stuff, and he wears almost 0 of them, they're just sitting there in his closet
and he absolutely loves it when you steal his fluffy things because it looks cute and he can cuddle up to you and sleep
belphie lets you keep anything he never or rarely wore
if you frequently check his closet out, belphie will sometimes burrow something from beel and put it on one of his shelves to see if you notice (belphie also buys clothes once per blue moon)
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me scenarios#obey me swd#obey me imagines#obey me mammon#obey me lucifer#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#asmodeus obey me#beelzebub obey me#belphegor obey me#obey me x reader#obey me x mc#gn!mc
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pick ur fighter: gerard on stage indignantly recounting the unjust overreaction of ray's arrest and overnight (?) jail stay over "two fucking batteries" vs frank seeing ray getting caught for slipping two double-a batteries out of a packet, running back into the same walmart ray stole them from to steal a camera with which he proceeded to take photos of ray being arrested (as a reminder. for attempting to shoplift two batteries), and ALSO stealing the actual sign off the wall that says "shoplifters will be prosecuted," which he then gifted to ray just to make fun of him when they picked him up from the station. all without getting caught himself.
#I LOVE HOW THEY LOVE#and i love how ray is very good at a few very specific things. and VERY BAD AT EVERYTHING ELSE#he is my everything.#fave#*#gb#sl
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BatRules
The full list of rules the Bat Family has, for both their civilian lives and their night lives.
It gets a little out of hand. Just a little.
Key
A.P.: Alfred
B.W.: Bruce
D.G.: Dick
C.: Cass
J.T.: Jason
T.D.W/T.D.: Tim
S.B.: Steph
D.T.: Duke
D.W.: Damian
-~-~-
No tampering with any of the coffee machines. —A.P.
Master Tim is to be limited to a maximum of two shots of caffeine every 24 hours. —A.P.
‘Dealing with Damian’ is not a valid excuse to ignore the above limit. —B.W.
Only regular-strength coffee is to be kept in the Manor at any time. —B.W.
Not even after off-planet missions? —T.D.W.
‘At any time’ includes after off-planet missions, Tim. —B.W.
No speedsters and/or Kryptonians are to bring in any as an ‘emergency supply’ —B.W.
Master Bruce is banned from having any coffee at or after 12 a.m. —A.P.
Not even decaf? —B.W.
Why would you even bother drinking coffee then? —T.D.W.
Mayonnaise is not to be put on hamsters. —T.D.
Lucius has threatened to quit if it happened again and he sees it. —T.D.
Rule 11 applies to non-Family members too. —B.W.
Master Jason is not to bring any guns into the Manor. —A.P.
Not even the rubber bullets one? —J.T.
Especially not that one. —A.P.
Hugs are mandatory. —D.G.
Proposed revision: Hugs are recommended. —D.W.
Proposed revision: rejected :D — D.G.
Glitter is to be kept and used only in designated areas. —A.P.
The ballroom is not a designated area. —A.P.
Neither is the kitchen. —A.P.
Vigilante uniforms are not to be worn nor taken into the Manor. —A.P.
I am not allergic to emotions. —B.W.
Proposed revision: Bruce is allergic to emotions. —J.T.
Proposed revision: rejected. —B.W.
Nor am I emotionally constipated. —B.W.
Green hair dye is banned from the Manor. —D.G.
In all shades but especially neon. —D.G.
Excluding Bruce, attendance at galas isn’t mandatory. —C.
Except for the annual Wayne Foundation one, attendance at that one is mandatory for everyone. —B.W.
For every missed gala, you must make one (1) public appearance in that same month. —B.W.
A ‘public appearance’ does not include a trip to Walmart. —B.W.
No more murder attempts, Damian —T.D.W.
Proposed revision: Murder attempts are allowed on Drake. —D.W.
Proposed revision: rejected. —T.D.W.
No poison is to be put in hot chocolate. —A.P.
Why does that even have to be a rule?? —D.T.
Dick is to be kept away from any and all redheads. —J.T.
Including the one that he is currently dating. —D.W.
Whenever I ask any of you to bring me one of the spare Batsuits, I never mean the rainbow one. —B.W,
It’s Vigilante Bingo not Trauma Bingo. Stop being so concerning. —D.T.
If you’re up before 8 a.m. and you wake someone else up, you have to take their worst patrol shift. —T.D.W.
Only Alfred and Jason are allowed to actually make anything in the kitchen. —B.W.
Shower as soon as you get back from patrol. —A.P.
Just because you got cuddle pollen’d, doesn’t mean the whole family needs to be. —S.B.
Richard is not allowed to pick the movie for Movie Night. —D.W.
Unless Movie Night falls on the 29th night of February. —D.W.
Everyone has to clean their own rooms, do not make Alfred do it. He already has enough to do —B.W.
No going into each other's rooms without permission or a valid reason. —B.W.
‘For a prank war’ is not a valid reason. —B.W.
Rule 50 especially applies when the person is sleeping, Damian. —T.D.W.
A minimum of three people have to go with Alfred to do the grocery shopping. —B.W.
The BatComputer is multi-million dollar equipment and is not to be used to watch movies. —B.W.
No tie-dying your siblings, or their clothing, three hours before a gala. —B.W.
No using books as balance beams. —J.T.
Looking at you, Dick. —J.T.
No going to Jason for help with math; you must come to me. —D.G.
Ladies do not start prank wars, but they can finish them. —S.B.
So beware :) —C.
Stop doing monumental things in the hallway because I don't need to see that. —D.T.
Remember: I have POWERS. —D.T.
No stealing Damian's art supplies. —D.W.
If you do, I will disembowel you. —D.W.
Master Damian, no disembowelling your siblings. —A.P.
Cookies are to be eaten before dinner ^-^ —C.
Cookies are not to be eaten before dinner, unless one is recovering from a life-threatening injury. —A.P.
Does that mean I can eat cookies before dinner since I lost my spleen? —T.D.
YOU LOST YOUR SPLEEN????????? D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: —D.G.
Seconding. —S.B.
Thirding ^-^ —C.
Tt, of course, you have lost a major organ and failed to tell anyone. —D.W.
I will disembowel more of you if you touch my art supplies. —D.W.
Damian, you can't take more of Tim’s organs. He can't regrow them. —B.W.
He can if it's his liver —J.T.
Damian, you should take out part of Tim's liver so he can regrow it and then sell it on the black market and get rich. —S.B.
He's already rich, though. *raised eyebrow* —D.G.
Then he’ll get richer. —S.B.
Are we all just ignoring how Tim doesn't have a spleen now? —D.T.
That's how things work here. —J.T.
Bedtime for anyone under 16 is 10 p.m. on non-patrol nights; and 2 a.m. on patrol nights. —B.W.
12? —D.W.
10. —B.W.
11? —D.W.
10.30. That’s final. Or you have to take Condiment King next time he makes trouble. —B.W.
Tt. Fine. I will accept 10.30 p.m. —D.W.
Toasters are not to be taken out of the kitchen. —A.P.
‘For science’ is not a good nor valid reason, Master Tim. —A.P.
No dye is to be put into the pool. —B.W.
Just because we have the money to replace the tiles afterwards, doesn’t mean you should do it. —B.W.
No climbing on the Tyrannosaurus rex statue in the Cave. —D.W.
Pizza-store pizza is only to be brought into the Cave under specific circumstances. —A.P.
If pizza-store pizza has to be brought into the Cave, please use a napkin. —A.P.
My Ko-Fi
#batfam#fanfiction#tim drake#batfamily#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#jason todd#bruce wayne#stephanie brown#cass cain#duke thomas#crossposted on ao3#ao3 fanfic#hbi fics
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Unpopular opinion (maybe): Luke's ultimatum at the end of Season 3 inadvertently reinforced Jess's choices that stopped him from finishing high school in the first place.
Disclaimer: The intent here isn't to attack Luke for how he handled things. The overall effect of Luke's presence in Jess's life is undoubtedly positive and instrumental to where Jess ended up. Luke was put in an unfair position that he wasn't prepared for, he genuinely cared and tried his best with the knowledge he had, and it would have been well within his rights to say no to Liz to begin with or to Jess when he came back after the car accident.
From what Jess tells Rory in "Teach Me Tonight," it sounds like he never had much academic support from adults, which is of course why Rory's belief in him will end up meaning so much. Details about Jess's childhood that are revealed once Liz is around suggest that Jess didn't have trustworthy adults in his life and had to learn how to be self-sufficient early. Even though we as the audience can see that Luke is responsible and trustworthy through his own actions and his relationships with people who have known him for many years, Jess doesn't have the same history with him, and it can take a long, long time to unlearn those survival instincts. Additionally, Jess's Walmart manager, as gregarious and pro-corporate as he seems to be, doesn't appear to engage in the practice of pressuring introverts to socialize (which happened to Rory at Chilton) and allows Jess to do something constructive and work toward a tangible reward. Some people get these benefits from going to school, but Jess didn't. Then there's a layer of youthful hubris here because Jess really did seem to think that he could manage all of this and go to school just enough to graduate based on what he tells Rory in S3 E17, Luke in S3 E18, and the principal in S3 E19. With of all this information in mind, it's really not surprising that Jess would prioritize work above school. His logic is self-destructive but understandable, and his fatal flaw ends up being that he committed to more responsibilities than a person could reasonably handle. This isn't the standard media portrayal of ditching school.
Luke's approach to being Jess's guardian is fairly hands-off. After Luke's "laying down the law" talk in the first episode Jess is in, the only requirement we see enforced is that Jess has to work at the diner, which Jess complies with. Luke didn't know Jess was working at Walmart at all until Jess bought his car, he didn't know Jess was eventually working more than full-time hours, and he didn't know Jess was missing as much school as he was. (This last one suggests a significant oversight at the school, which is another story.) When the extent of Jess's work hours is brought to his attention and Lorelai speculates about what is going on, he tells Lorelai that there is no way Jess would skip school and doesn't investigate further. When he realizes Jess is working some days instead of going to school, he offers to pay Jess more at the diner (and later steals his car) to prevent him from working at Walmart (the place he worked before he had a car to earn the money to buy it???) but doesn't press him about what is really going on.
So after all of that, it turns out Jess didn't go to school enough to graduate. Luke does give Jess the option to stay in Stars Hollow and keep going to school, but I could never blame someone for not being able to have a rational conversation immediately after a stranger randomly shows up, claims paternity, and runs out. The emotional damage of that incident really can't be divorced from what happens here. Luke is of course also in crisis mode. Jess didn't graduate because he worked too much, so now he's in a position where his consequence is to keep doing what got him into trouble, only this time he doesn't have anyone looking after him. This isn't what Luke is intending, but his ultimatum basically reinforces Jess's mindset of prioritizing work (i.e. short-term financial security) above school and his reluctance to trust other people, and it reinforces Jess's family history (ironically not including Luke) of abandoning difficult situations (in this case, the aftermath of the fight with Dean) and relationships (in this case, Rory) instead of facing them. Jess ends up on his own with the money he had from work that he was saving for a different car, so he probably thinks it's a good thing he worked as much as he did, and he ends up without adult guidance or restrictions to help him sort all this out and repair the harm he caused. This could have turned out much more darkly than it did, and it's really a miracle that Jess got to where he was by the time he was 21.
When Jess is with Jimmy in California, he acknowledges that he's failed and doesn't know where to go from there. It probably isn't outlandish to think that Jess was earning more as a full-time forklift driver than what he is earning during Season 4. Factoring in the lower cost of living in Stars Hollow or somewhere nearby compared to New York, he probably could have been able earn a decent living if he stayed at Walmart (even if he wouldn't have been better off in the long run). That's probably why Luke's "I'm sorry I didn't think driving a forklift for the rest of your life was good enough for you" stung. It was likely a much better situation than whatever Jess is in mid-Season 4.
In late Season 4, Jess seems resigned to where he is. He doesn't complain or blame anyone else for his circumstances, even when Luke repeatedly mocks him in New York. (Even mid-Season 4, Jess doesn't express anger toward Luke about anything other than Luke stealing his car until Luke provokes him multiple times.) Maybe Jess was already thinking about writing a book or studying for a GED during Season 4, but his posture and mannerisms seem to suggest defeat more than anything else. At this point, Jess might not be envisioning anything other than what he has. It is only after Luke accepts Jess for who he is, and stops seeing him as a failed project, ("You are who you are. I cannot change that, and I'm going to stop trying.") that Jess really starts to move forward. Although Luke isn't even very positive in how he says this, it's still the sort of affirmation Jess always needed and maybe never received from a family member before. Then, he's honest with Luke about his emotions, he's receptive to Luke's advice, he expresses appreciation for what Luke did for him, he offers Luke a way to stay in contact, and he makes a commitment to pay him back even though Luke says he doesn't have to do so. He tries (and fails, for the time being) to make amends with Rory, and after all of these things happen, he progresses into the version of himself that returns in Season 6. Jess pursues a path that Luke doesn't quite understand but has accepted and is proud of (it's also a path that Rory does understand and is proud of, and both forms of support are so important).
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Blood of Zeus characters at the store
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(a special thanks to the amazing @randomfangirl2718 for helping me come up with this <3)
lets do this :)
Zeus: *holding heron up to a walmart screen*
Hermes: *taking a picture of the oh so touching moment*
Apollo: *laughing his butt off behind her hermes*
Dionysus: ITS THE CIRCLE OF LIFEEEEE
Artemis: *shaking her head in shame* I do not know any of them. I do not know any of them.
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Heron: why are we here again?
Artemis: because hera needs more bird seeds to feed her pets and we are running low on snacks *she eyes apollo and ares*
Ares: i apologize, but apollo had challenged me and i will not back down from such an easy challenge of eating.
Apollo: if it was so easy then why did you lose *he teases*
Ares: lies! of course i beat you
Apollo: well since its unclea how about another challenge? i challenge you to lift the heaviest weight in the store
Artemis: apollo no-
Apollo and Ares: *runs off*
Artemis: why cant they listen for once. *she groans*
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Random store clerk on the p.a: Zeus, please come to the front of fthe store to retrive your delinquents.
Zeus: *goes to the front*
Apollo: *turns his head in shame*
Hermes: we can explain this time we had good reasons
Zeus: those are?
Everyone: *silence*
Zeus: alright we'll deal with this when we get home. where is artemis and heron?
Random store worker: are these the two your looking for? *gestures to an annoyed artemis and a wet heron*
Zeus: ....yes
Heron: we wanted to free the lobsters.
Artemis: he wanted to free the lobsters *she grumbles*
Dionysus: cool! we stole wine.
Apollo: ..we broke half the shelves in the store
Random worker: youre all never welcome to shop here again you realize that right?
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Artemis: ok everyone, since we got banned from the last store for wine stealing, lobster freeing, shelf breaking reasons *she side-eyes her brothers* let's not do that this time.
Everyone: *nods and runs off*
Artemis: this is going to end badly isnt it?
Ares: has going out with them ever ended good?
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*in the stores garden section*
Artemis: sometimes i just dont get why they cant understand that they have to follow rules even if they are gods, you know i appreciate this alot. its hard to find someone who just listens *she pats the squirrel on the head.
Daphne: look at all of these beautiful flowers hyacinthus.
Hyacinthus: they are very pretty
Random person: ya, to bad they throw the ones they dont sell out. *walks away*
Daphne: we have to save these flowers! *she starts grabbing the flower boxes*
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Hermes: can you beilive they just give out free food here?
Dionysus: i know right! its awesome!
Hermes: that stand over there is selling wine sample's
Dionysus: ya, to bad its only one cup per person. *gets a look* unless...
Hermes and dionysus: *runs through the store with the wine tray and open bottle*
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Apollo: so you see if you just apply the darker shade of tanner then youll be beach ready in no time *he says to random people looking at tanner*
Apollo: dont you agree heron? *blank space where heron was* this is why we need a leash for him *he grumbles*
Heron: *lost somewhere in the store*
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Evios: *sneaks a small item in his pocket*
Kofi: *takes the item and puts it back on the shelf*
Evios: seriously? That is the 20th time man
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Alexia: *sees a punching dummy*
Alexia: *starts practicing*
Radndom people: *stares at her*
Alexia: what? It's what it's for.
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Zeus: *flirting with some girls*
Hera: *death glaring the girls*
aphrodite: Hera, you mustn't glare at those girls. they do not know that he's married. it's not that big of a deal
hera: oh really? so it's alright with you that Ares is doing the same thing?
Aphrodite: *angrily storms off to yell at the girls near Ares*
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Artemis: we're gonna have to find a new store aren't we? *she drinks her pop*
Ares: we knew that the second we walked in
Aphrodite: *screaming in the background*
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#boz zeus#blood of zeus#boz#bloodofzeus#bloodofzues#heron boz#seraphim boz#hermes boz#boz apollo#boz ares#greek mythology headcanons#grreek mythology#greekmythology#blood of zeus x reader
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more FNaF hcs because the tism™️ is telling me to info dump
sorry if some of these are the same as the last one I forget which ones I put before 🙁
-When Mike was chasing after the car he tripped scraped his knee broke his ankle and busted his kneecap and just gave up on life right then and there
-Mike smokes weed but he could take the tiniest tinniest hit of a bong and he’d cough up a lung so he just mainly sticks to blunts or bowls
-Abby has called 911 multiple times because she wanted to contact Vanessa but it obviously didn’t work.
-Vanessa used to dye her hair fun colors but she can’t anymore cuz of her job but she wears colorful extensions
-Abby’s therapist has tried so hard to hint at Mike that he should get an autism diagnosis because his sister has one and he still hasn’t picked up on it despite showing clear traits of autism
-When golden Freddy and Abby left the cab he just handed Cory a piece of paper with ‘one million dollars’ scribbled on it in green crayon. Cory was to scared to say no he just was like “yeah ok sure” and then cried
-Mike and Abby did not go to Aunt Janes funeral they instead went to Dave and Busters and played arcade games while their entire extended family blew up Mikes Nokia phone
-Aunt Jane was a “wine mom” and was in heavy denial of being an alcoholic
-Abby really likes bugs and puts them in her pockets but Mike is terrified of bugs so he freaks out whenever he sees them crawling on her or in her laundry
-Vanessa apologizes to people while arresting them
-The animatronics consider the cupcake to be their puppy and get confused when people think he’s a menace
-One time Doug ran into Mike and Abby at Walmart once and he just threw his thick ass lawyer wallet at then then ran away to have a panic attack. Mike and Abby bought a blow up pool that day
-Doug had to go to therapy due to Aunt Jane being an absolute fucking Karen
-Doug’s now a regular at Sparkys and is besties with Ness, he considers Ness “The son he never had”
-Bonnie kid (Jeremy) really liked Spider-Man
-Vanessa has a pitbull named Princess that she took home from an animal control call. (The dog is a fucking danger to society)
-Abby picked up on some 80s slang from the animatronics and now just says radical to everything
-Max and her friends would be doing TikTok trends before TikTok was even a thing (stealing soap dispensers from public bathrooms, sticking pennies in electrical sockets ect)
-Vanessa is a Disney adult/hj
-There’s a rubix cube in the pizzeria that the animatronics have been trying to solve since they’ve been dead basically
-Every night after Abby goes to bed Mike goes to the kitchen and eats shredded cheese by the handful. Abby caught him once and he cried.
-Mike is the type of person to ask those weird questions while watching movies, like: “If their underwater how are they drinking soda?”
-Mike would stuff all his emotions and feelings down till he bursts and it usually results in him locking himself in his room while having a panic attack
-Max was also a weed dealer so Mikes out of a babysitter and a plug.
-Vanessa hates soda, loves tea tho
-Mike really likes the Care Bears and uses Abby as an excuse for liking it
-Ness uses those really cheesy pet names for Mike, some of them southern originated because I believe in southern Ness solidarity. Ex: Sweetie pie, Sugar, Doe
-Abby is really good at hide and seek but caused Mike a few panic attacks because of how well she hides
-After Freddy’s neither Mike or Abby could sleep without a nightlight so she lent Mike hers on the agreement she could sleep in his room with him. (He of course accepted)
-Mike: Where’s my Diet Coke?
Vanessa: Oh I threw it away, sodas not good for you.
Mike: Oh ok- WHAT.
-Abby still asks Mike to tie her shoes for her even though he already taught her how to tie them herself
-Mike has a very particular morning routine that he has to follow every morning and feels icky if it gets interrupted for any reason
-Mike is more noise sensitive and Abby is more texture sensitive but Mike still hates certain textures (ex: olives)
-Mike has considered owning chickens and even went with Abby to look at little chicks but she soon started sneezing and feeling sick and that's when they found out she's allergic so that quickly got shut down
-Abby gives her stuffed animals lore and hierarchies and Ness is always asking her about it when her and Mike go into the diner
-Vanessa Has a very minimalist style not because she likes it but because she's scared of getting attached to anything she calls home which at times worries her when she's with Mike, Abby and Ness. This results in her sitting in bed, chewing on her lip thinking of constant escape plans and emergency exits in case her father ever returns, if something bad happens, etc.
-Mike likes seeing Abby draw him and pretends not to notice when she stares and tries to get the color of his shirt just right (he buys clothing in colors she has to make it easier)
-Abby is the type to point out cows and horses and will repeatedly kick Mike's seat even while he's driving until he acknowledges them
-Abby doesn’t understand why her and Mike can’t just print more money to make them rich and Mike has had to explain to to her 12837383838 times
-Ness is a theater kid (yeah if you didn’t see this coming I think you need glasses)
-Ness and Mike play lps with Abby, Abby explains all of her lps lore extensively and Ness listens to every bit of it while Mike is just like: “I love you both but wtf”
-Mike sometimes age regresses sometimes when put under pressure and Ness is literally the best caretaker ever (this one’s based on a Dreamtheory fic I read once and I fell in love with the idea)
-Ness and Mike call each other every night before going to sleep and once Mike forgot so he woke up the next morning to 300+ voicemails from Ness asking if he’s ok
okay that’s all i have for now I’ll post more later when i feel like it oki byeee 😘✌️
#securitywaiter#fnaf movie#fnaf#ness fnaf#mike fnaf#mike x ness#mike schmidt#ness the waiter#vanessa afton#abby schmidt#my headcanons#headcanon#I promise I’ll make more William hcs in part three
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Ok since I have a bit more substantial following. I'm going to detail my surefire method for shoplifting from walmart. I've been doing this for a couple years now, without any repercussions, with my method you can do the same. Read this whole guide, and feel free to ask me questions if need be.
So step one: do your shopping as normal, except grab a few 92 cent packages of tuna(anything small, flat and cheap will work). The amount you grab depends on how many things you're going to steal.
While shopping, place the item to be stolen on top of the tuna in your cart. it's very important that you know where the barcodes are located on both items, as this will come into play in a big way. What's also important is that the item is big enough to completely hide the tuna package under it. Otherwise this method can be risky.
Step two: once you are done with your shopping, head to self check out. Keep an eye on the walmart employee who is manning that station, you want to choose a self checkout that is as far away from them as possible (in my experience these people aren't paying THAT much attention and if they are, they dont care. Look for the younger employee, the ones on their phones, they are your best friend). You want your back facing these people as well.
Step three: Time to ring things up.
Something that is crucial is that you are not stealing literally everything.
Some of your items are going to be paid for normally, and ideally it's some high dollar items you have hid the tuna under. You're going to scan the tuna barcode but make it seem like you are scanning the other item's barcode. This is why you need to hide the tuna underneath the item, be careful not to scan the actual item's barcode because you might end up actually buying it lmao.
Proceed to scan your items, I always do the tuna items first, just to get them out of the way and bagged. I then scan the rest of my items normally, proceed to pay and then leave walmart. Those little scanners at the door only work for things with security devices on them, so dont worry about that. once you are in the parking lot you are home free baby! You just saved a fuckton of money and gave a big fuck you to walmart, good job!
Now, I make it seem very simple, and it is easy once you get the hang of it.
But there a few caveats that are very important.
1. You want everything in a bag, because the employee manning the doors are tasked with checking the receipt if you have something that is not bagged. They are lookingfor the unbagged item on the receipt, and if you have a lot of stuff and only some of them aren't paid for, then usually this isn't an issue. They'll see your huge ass tub of kitty litter on there, and ignore the rest. Still, being stopped by any employee is unwanted.
2. Some self checkout kiosks monitor the weight of items you scan and then place in self checkout, the bagging area is a scale. HOWEVER, in recent years, walmart has forgone that method of limiting shoplifting, I think because it would cause more trouble than it's worth. You need to go to your walmart and test this, which is easy to do.
Above all, it's important to act natural, and it's important to practice. Try it with just one item, you will not get in trouble for having a single item not rung up, if caught.
This post has gotten a bit longer than expected, so if you have questions let me know. HAPPY SHOPLIFTING FUCK WALMART TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL
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my problem with postcanon jade was that it said she was a cis girl before fusing with bec. i took it as the same "true in a transmisogynist way" troll as transmasc roxy
like, truly, i miss transfeminine roxy every day, and my house is fairly glass when it comes to things here considering i'm writing The Butch Lesbian Jane Comic, but like. the way homestuck fans exert ownership over the text of homestuck is fundamentally what the homestuck epilogues and post-canon are about. act 7 is about the dead calliope saying "fuck canon" and making her own, and she does not know how to care for the characters in question. i genuinely believe reconciling these facts, that what homestuck wants to be and what fans want homestuck to be are tangibly, ideologically opposed, is what post-canon is about
"fans read this character as X identity" is fine and good but that's paratext at best, and making demands of a text that has no obligation to respect them at worst. the epilogues are cashing in that desire to not respect them. homestuck has always been shaking off its readers who exert too much ownership, feel too comfortable with it. this goes way back as far as act 5 act 2 - the author commentary describes switching between walkaround sprites and hussnasty mode in such close proximity as a means of saying "if you always get what you expect, you will become complacent and that's no way for a reader to be", the "come in, go away" routine of homestuck is so repetitive now that i'm surprised basically nobody's caught on - homestuck is always doing insane flips to try and shake people off of it.
and now homestuck is doing that with your headcanons. like, this is a thing i see genuinely, all the fucking time in fandom over the past 15 years or so, people hype themselves up on paratexts and pretend the paratext is the source. the worst i ever saw of it was people having full blown self-harm threatening panic attacks because klance was not endgame in voltron legendary defenders. genuinely, i remember this so well - i think there were still two more seasons of the show after that event too, but i didn't watch it.
i only looked on from afar because what i saw of season 1 wasn't especially novel. castiel was never gay, no matter how many times he was caught leaking omegamusk in walmart or whatever, i'm stealing valor with this joke i was never a superwholock omegaverse girlie. there's so many fandoms i'm not a part of, it's unreal.
anyway, my point is people get really invested in their reads on characters and pretend it's real for the same reason a normie's sports team is gonna go the distance this season. and when they don't, they riot. this is literally just sports fandom 101. we may as well be talking about fucking inflategate here. i also don't go to sports. it's basically just homestuck for me these days.
i imagine this is what it's like to run my little pony before bronies came along: the show was negligible in relevance beyond its capacity to show off the new toys to play with. but the difference is that my little pony is about the toys, it's about encouraging that kind of play, it's fundamentally a set of toys they made a show about, as opposed to homestuck, which was always niche art for webcomics weirdos that caught on, quite literally, with the brony audience. i remember the first time i ever saw dave strider was on fucking ponychan, chronologically it would have been mid-act 5 act 2. it was an image of dave ransacking the lohac stock exchange, which is an a5a2 thing, it was before season 2 started, etc etc.
this is one hell of a tangent to say as far as the text of mspaintadventures is concerned, problem sleuth characters have gender signifiers that are more similar in nature to drag and performance of gender roles than any actual sexual dimorphism. homestuck characters are built atop the gender expression of problem sleuth. jade was a 13/16-year old girl, and that's the only information there was. over time, this changed.
this was an explicit change, too - it's in the change to act 6, passing through the fourth wall, that these characters, who fundamentally are game pieces, that homestuck starts to contend with the fact that people are emotionally invested in them as people. people don't like dave or vriska in the same way that people care about problem sleuth or nervous broad, and this comes out in the text. we get a lot of the best stuff in homestuck out of that change, too, like. the retcon only works because of that emotional investment, and i go so hard for the retcon. the retcon is the coolest thing ever.
and with that change, now, in 2024, she is explicitly a 39 (? i think she's 39.) year old woman with a penis. she didn't go from "cis woman" to "trans woman", she went from game piece to human person. there is no "cis jade" to be overwritten. you're assuming a "cis is default" worldview of a team of transgender and/or nonbinary people and thats just like. its not ideal, really
#really letting these posts get away from me here.#i write really nonlinearly and got distracted to go post resources on the mspfa discord so if theres a sentence fragment in there: idgaf
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i'm seeing a lot of fledglings/non-vamps trying to force human ethics onto vampirism, and it's just not it
like, y'all do realize that vampires aren't human anymore, right? and putting aside immortality and the fact that some of us are older than jesus, we've literally shifted up the food chain.
humans eat meat. and while cows and pigs, etc. ought to be treated with dignity, that doesn't change the fact that the same way we don't begrudge the wolf for eating the lamb, we don't fault humans for eating meat.
so why would it be different for vampires?
human blood is my food source. period. that's it, end of story. i'm going to feed from humans because that's how this shit goes. (not to mention the fact the only consequence of feeding is the food source feeling a little light headed for a couple minutes, unlike the meat industry that's ruining the global ecosystem to provide an overabundance of meat that gets thrown away at the end of the day because walmart didn't sell all 40 packets of chicken thighs.)
also for y'all who're like "just use blood bags" -- uh no?? it's like common knowledge that humans have an almost perpetual blood shortage, so why would i steal limited supplies from the local hospital?
anyway, just kinda tired of all the disinformation that's being spread around. and i don't think it's a coincidence that it's largely werewolves who are part of these conversations, which is funny to me because you'd think they'd be too busy covering up the fact three unsupervised new bites "accidentally" maimed a hiker during the last full moon.
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Aot bf scenarios: what clothing item you steal of his MODERN AU
why I’m writing this? I have absolutely no clue but you know what? That’s okay
Eren
His uniform cape
okay don’t get me wrong he wears that thing on most expeditions and you were doing his laundry… you saw it… you snatched it (I would too) you put it on and it was warm (mainly cuz it just got out of the dryer BUT EITHER WAY and I may know that this is modern AU but just shhhh) you tried to jump from the couch impersonating him and failed… miserably. You failed to land and hit your face on the counter and then he walked through the door, he sighed “really y/n, again?” (This isn’t the first time or the second, or third, you do this all the time) “yeah…” he takes you to the bathroom to clean up the bloody nose you got (f u counter) then he sat on the couch and ya’ll cuddled till you fell asleep
Armin
He has these really soft fluffy gloves-
your hands were cold cuz of eating an otter pop from frickin Walmart and you finished the food and saw the gloves. On. The. Table. (Pretend that the vision zooms in with each each of those three words) you grabbed them and put them on, later he came back from the library (typical Armin) and he saw them on you when you were petting the cat (yes you have a cat) and he blushed and smiled because it was adorable (yes reader you are adorable and perfect just the way you are)
Levi
his cravat.
bro wears that thing 24/7 and he was taking a shower sooooo you pranced your happy ass on in there and snatched it and put it on in the mirror. Unfortunately he takes short showers so he noticed that it was gone and saw you wearing it… he thought it was cute and thus let you wear it on one condition, you had to make him tea.
Jean
his little cowboy hat from s4
you took it off his head and pretended to be Michael Jackson lol it’s that simple that is literary what happened
Connie
I feel like it would be his shoes
you had to go get something from the store and were in a hurry, y’all have matching pairs of shoes and the same size feet, you accidentally took his and left. You only realized when you looked down to pick something up that you dropped, you saw his name on the shoelace…. (Don’t ask but I just feel like that’s what Connie would do…)
Reiner
His shirt
You had finished your shower and realized that you forgot your shirt, you went to y’all’s room and decided to wear his shirt then you went out to the living room where he was watching tv you sat next to him and he saw it on you he smirked at the sight, he thought you looked so damn sexy in his shirt, let’s just say that you couldn’t walk the next day…
Bertholdt (go onto google translate and listen to how it’s pronounced, it’s weird af)
his hoodie
you were cold and went to his room to get your sweater and couldn’t find it, so you took his. When sweet baby saw you he was blushing you looked so cute and adorable and he just wanted to hold you. It was wholesome and adorable, you guys cuddled all night.
Now when they say you are adorable, believe it, you are beautiful/handsome/good looking I dont know your pronouns… but anyways, everyone has their flaws but that’s what makes you, you. Don’t ever believe anyone who tells you otherwise there are people who care about you. love u! <3
#aot x reader#eren x reader#armin x reader#levi ackerman x reader#jean x reader#connie x reader#reiner x reader#bertholdt x reader#aot boyfriend scenarios
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