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uzis-dopeaf-hat · 18 days

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Analysis of Nuzi in Episode 7

[MAJOR MURDER DRONES SPOILERS]

Okay! I've been wanting to rant about these two for ages so I'm happy to get this out haha. I'll try to make this post a little more comprehensible than the last one (no promises).

I'll try to keep this in chronological order.

So before I move ahead, let me get this out of the way.

N still cares about V, but I don't think he's thought about her in a romantic sense since at most, the end of episode 3. He absolutely sees her as family and deeply cares for her. Hence why he immediately starts freaking out and attacking the rubble blocking the elevator shaft.

He is desperately trying to get his family back.

So desperately that he unintentionally hurts someone else he immensely cares for.

He forgets about Uzi's condition in his blind panic, but upon remembering he becomes almost ridden with guilt. Uzi likely already feels terrible because of the loss of V and not being able to do anything to help N since she physically is unable to at this moment. It seems N understands this and tries to remedy this by telling Uzi "It's okay," and apologizing profusely.

He doesn't want Uzi to put anything else on her shoulders and backtracks so fast here.

And when Uzi tells N she's sorry, for both N's loss of V and her own inability to help N get back up the elevator shaft, she sounds so upset for N. There's nothing she can do for him here, and she knows this.

It's almost amusing how N gives "Tessa" a death glare here. As the series has gone on N has become less and less of a pushover, no doubt because of Uzi. If N had run into Tessa in any episode from 1-3. it would have been easier for Cyn to manipulate him.

But because she waited so long, N has built such a genuinely healthy and stable relationship with Uzi. One where both parties mutually care about each other and treat each other like equals (which should be normal but of course, this isn't the case for N or Uzi).

But something else to be noted here is the regression of both Uzi and N's characters at this moment.

Because while N is definitely making progress on standing his ground, and letting his own opinions be known, he is still faced with a non-choice. Instead of immediately deciding to question his old friend, he tries to compromise.

It's an old behavior met with an old friend vs a new behavior met with a new friend. He is trying to still somewhat appease "Tessa" while making it known that he isn't willing to hurt Uzi. But he never discusses this with Tessa herself aside from this moment, where he does so with Uzi present and out of the loop.

Let's take a look at Uzi's reaction when N tells her they won't hurt her.

She is scared.

Her eyes dart back and forth between the duo in front of her, putting her hand up in defense to try and subconsciously protect herself.

She doesn't understand what is happening, but she isn't stupid. She knows this means something happened- something regarding her, that's been decided on without her knowledge or input.

And with how much we like to joke about how dopey N is, he does seem very emotionally intelligent at times, especially here. He realizes his mistake immediately, his placating expression of trying to reassure Uzi drawing back as he drags his hand back, startled at her negative reaction.

After the solver accidentally activates from Uzi (unsure if Cyn activated it on purpose or if Uzi herself activated it by accident because of her distress- I can see both being factors), N tries to reach out to her. To bring her back to his side, to him.

He holds his palm upwards to her, physically trying to tell her 'I am here, with you, let me help.' And as he steps towards her, she moves away from him.

Uzi's trust in him has been damaged. She is scared and instead of letting N help her, or allowing him to try and explain what's happening, she hunches over and guards herself from him. She isolates herself, their relationship crumbling like the cave around them.

And N? Once Uzi is out of his view? His hand switches from welcoming to pleading. As in, he reaches out to her, trying to get her back even if he doesn't actually do anything to make it so. He is reeling from what he's done to make her feel like she can no longer trust him, to come to him for his aid. His demeanor is now 'Please wait, come back, don't leave me, I am sorry.'

Maybe not exactly those words, but it's obvious that he doesn't want her to leave. So much so that he forgets to even protect himself (or even "Tessa") from the debris falling around them.

When N wakes up, he immediately tries to free himself and desperately calls for Uzi.

And yes, Uzi is his first thought. He doesn't know where she is, or if she's okay, but his first instinct is to find her, because 'is she okay? Where is she, where are you?' is definitely what N is thinking when trying to find her, even though he can't move.

N is distressed, and after not being able to attract Uzi back to him via shouting, he gets ready to saw off his own arm.

He isn't just saying "I deserve this," because he chopped off Uzi's arm in the last episode, although that is part of it. He's saying he deserves this because he drove Uzi off, didn't confide in her, let her know what was happening, and scared her off in the process.

He is also sawing at the arm that he had held Uzi's hand with -- once again, the same hand that he sliced off to try and stop the solver. Interesting parallel there (at least it's another thing they have in common...?). His hand is absolutely crushed. That's not an accident, the team deliberately shows this -- and this is the result of N's actions (or lack thereof).

...sucks that both hands that had held each other are now destroyed (that's not me trying to be philosophical, just me being sad).

Cut here, and N is immediately ready to tell Uzi what he's learned, sprinting to find her. Probably due to the fact that he's discovered that his crush's mother is still alive but...

When told not to inform Uzi of Nori's existence by the woman herself, N upright denies her request; he's learned from his previous mistake and that lying (via omission) is not something he's going to do, especially not with Uzi.

And while certain information may hurt Uzi, he never wants what happened with Uzi to happen again. He doesn't want her to be afraid of him, or unsure of his intentions because N just wants to help and support her in any and every way he can.

He only relents that he won't tell Uzi, as long as Nori does. This is a bit different from the situation with "Tessa" since A) Nori is Uzi's mother, she really should be the one telling Uzi about her maternal status, and B) He is expecting her to actually inform Uzi of this. Not a "maybe, if needed," situation, a "you can wait until you're ready, but you will tell her," situation.

Back with "Tessa," N finally confronts her, giving her one chance and one chance only.

And Tessa, not used to this new version of N, does not heed his warning, and is promptly dealt with.

N is pissed... and it makes sense as to why. "Tessa" is attempting to force N to kill his best friend, the first one to really talk to him after who knows how long of being stuck with V ignoring him and J berating him.

Uzi has her own bite, but it's never in a way meant to harm or insult N. That's just how she is, and she and N have an excellent bond as the series moves forward.

Tessa is jeopardizing this, mocking him, and calling him "cute," and even tries to monologue to him. But N doesn't let her, because she's already made him hurt Uzi enough and he's at his last leg here. He's done.

And he's still shaken from killing Tessa.

He went full disassembly mode, maybe to make it easier, to kill her.

He is actively struggling, breathing heavily, and having to use the blade he beheaded Tessa with to hold himself up.

Despite this, when "Uzi" grabs at the patch, he snaps out of his stupor to address her. Trying to cope with what just happened. He calls her "buddy," which he really only calls her once in episode three when referring to both of them as "dapper buddies."

Just something interesting to point out, since Cyn took control of Uzi immediately after N "got rid of her body "killed" her. He's called Cyn "buddy," before (although, he called the birds trying to kill him buddies as well, so not sure how that pans out).

When he says it here it almost feels like a coping mechanism. Trying to take care of his loved ones in any way he can. Also, note how he still has an 'x' as an optic. Likely due to the stress he's been put through.

Once he somewhat collects himself, he attempts to tell Uzi that all he needs is her, and for them to stay together.

Their short time away from each other did not favor them. N admits to both himself and Uzi that he doesn't like being away from her and that he needs her to be by his side.

And Uzi definitely could've used him when she found the recording of her mother.

It's a bit harder to analyze Uzi's moments since a lot of it is just herself dealing with her own issues. This is still important, but not a lot of it deals with N, aside from the fact that, yes, N being here would've been preferable (unless I missed some stuff in the middle of this episode).

Cyn reveals herself, having taken control of Uzi, and we really see how sinister she can be.

Make no mistake, that is indeed a heart around Uzi, formed with Cyn's... claw... like appendages.

This is also deliberately put here by the team because they do not want us to doubt N's feelings for Uzi (it gets a lot more heavy-handed, too).

But the most important part here is N's reaction to seeing Uzi. When Cyn turns and shows Uzi's face, N visibly falters, expression growing more upset. He doesn't shoot her. Cyn notices this and smiles because she now sees the advantage she has over N.

And boy, does she take advantage.

This is probably my favorite part of this entire combat scene. N tries to essentially threaten Cyn here from further hurting Nori, trying to get her to back off.

Except, Cyn sees this as an opportunity to toy with him.

Maybe I'll one day do an analysis on Cyn, but she takes active pleasure in seeing N's suffering. When he holds his blade to her neck, he actually takes a moment to look at Cyn in the face, waiting for her next move.

And Cyn grabs that blade and slowly starts jabbing it into Uzi's neck. Because this is who N is now seeing: he is seeing Cyn hurt Uzi and he doesn't know what to do.

You see him visibly gasp, as he notices what Cyn's doing, and is still unable to make himself move (unless, of course, N is now actively trying to get the blade away from Uzi, but it doesn't seem like that's what's happening here).

Scratch that, while it's not immediately obvious, there are minuscule movements of the blade after Cyn starts stabbing Uzi - like N is trying to get it away from Uzi's neck while keeping eye contact with Cyn. He may still be seeing Uzi instead of Cyn at this moment (likely struggling between the two).

Something else to point out is that N is shaking even before Cyn grabs the blade. If you look at the tip of the weapon it's easier to tell. Again, chalking it up to not wanting to actually hurt Uzi.

This is a very nice parallel back to episode three. Aside from the hand-chopping part. Lots of limbs have been lost recently.

Ignoring the fact N was just raining fire down on Uzi, which is one of two times (don't quote me on that) he gets properly lethal, he tries hard here to not hurt her- almost like he's trying to get Uzi back in control.

It's hard to see here, but N is actually smiling as he holds Uzi's hand. Probably similar to what he does later - he is trying to remind Uzi of herself. Aside from the eyes, it feels like Uzi is reacting to this, looking surprised, before Nori takes her hand off to stop Cyn from creating more pockets of voids and closing the current ones.

But Cyn isn't done yet.

Once again, she uses N's affections against him to save herself. But in doing so, she allows N to finally crack through to Uzi, even if not by much.

It's comical that this is what helps Uzi gain control again, although what else would we expect? Even so, probably another favorite moment of mine.

Again, if anyone was doubting Nuzi... the team cannot get more obvious than this. Until we get an outright verbal confession... which is yet to be seen, sadly enough.

Unsure if N knew this would help Uzi or if he just wanted to let Nori know about him and Uzi before she died. This may just be him being lovesick for his possessed girlfriend.

Jokes aside, a lot of people took this as N saying they've been dating since episode five. I don't... think that's necessarily the case. I keep seeing the phrase "she fell first, but he fell harder," when discussing Nuzi and honestly? Yeah, he did. But dating since before episode six? That doesn't make sense, since we've been following their relationship since episode one, and it's not like it's irrelevant to the story. It's actually a huge part of Murder Drones, romantic or not, so any developments like the two dating would make more sense to happen in front of the audience and actually be addressed.

I think this is more of him sort of declaring his love for Uzi, in the most N way he can.

Ahh... although the dating part may be a bit irrelevant due to their predicament. They are both somewhat aware of how the other feels but have yet to discuss anything as Uzi states later. Likely due to uh, certain events happening around them.

When N sees Uzi come to, he starts laughing because of how relieved he is. And then promptly screams in horror at Uzi's next actions (I'm sure Nori is fine).

A small thing, but I thought it was an interesting reaction to have after having fought the previously possessed girl.

I think the fact that the two defaulted to freaking out after seeing each other is really sweet, funnily enough.

The way the two immediately start bantering, almost frantically, makes it feel like the two are looking for some sort of familiarity after all that's been happening. Moving instinctively closer to each other. Yes, maybe so they don't have to shout; but more importantly, after everything they've gone through, they want to be near each other.

And when they meet in the middle? They embrace each other, Uzi tightening her own hold and weeping into N's arm. N himself petting and caressing Uzi's head, both to comfort her and reassure himself that she is finally here with him.

...unfortunately, that is not the end of this post, nor the episode (as you've probably guessed).

After Cyn interrupts and attacks the duo, she descends into her pit of hell where she plans on dragging them.

You can see Uzi desperately trying to reach N, trying to get him to respond. That is her only goal in this moment, making sure that he is okay and alive.

I feel as if I am repeating myself... but yes, that heart is also purposeful. It's interesting how the tentacles split after forming, proceeding to drag N and Uzi apart with Uzi grasping at the ground trying to get back to N.

It literally tears them away from each other, and you can see how Uzi is forced to let go only to try and grab ahold of N.

She manages just in time to grab him, while impaling her hand onto some bones sticking up from the fleshy pit to stop both herself and N from falling further.

And we know this isn't a painless process, as drones have been shown to actively show pain. She doesn't care, she is doing all she can to save N, even if it hurts her. You can see how her arm starts ripping apart from her own hand as tentacles begin pulling harder.

But when Uzi sees N wake up, she gives him a smile, with a small, shakey, "Hey."

She knows they're likely about to die. And while N may have clones, Uzi does not. And even so, there's no way Cyn would allow N to remember anything that's happened, Uzi's firewall likely only protecting this N.

And as her final words she begins to thank him. For being her first friend. The first to believe in her. The first to show concern to her. The first to stay with her despite everything.

But when she sees that key?

She finishes thanking her first love and throws him away from their shared doom.

Uzi is genuinely so glad she's met N, and it shows in her expression here. She is saving the one good thing that has happened to her since her mom left her.

She knows N isn't going to be okay with this, that this won't be easy for him, and won't be easy for her, as she's assuming her own death in saving him.

Because of this, she doesn't want N's last memory of her to be herself being scared and unsure. So she tells him to "Die Mad," and flings him out of the chapel to both prevent him from attempting to save her and witnessing her death.

And you can see N was ready to jump in, determined to get her back and to save her. He uses his blades once again as a crutch, flaring his wings out in preparation to fly towards her.

Uzi doesn't let him, and for the last time pushing him away to save him from their once-shared fate.

I think Uzi's message to N will come into play later when they inevitably confront Cyn for the last time. Whether or not Uzi is there with him, he won't be able to forgive Cyn for controlling him and hurting him along with his loved ones.

And... that's the post! ending on a sad note but uh... we are talking about episode seven so there's no avoiding that haaaah.

If I missed something or you want further discussion feel free to send an ask or reply/respond to this post, love talking about shit.

Take a Nuzi dancing gif to go (I'm also sad now so this is really an excuse to put this at the end of my post).

Have a good one!

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reikorun · 2 months

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KlubOutside Q&A 201-300 [Translation]

Translated by @reikorun

Q201.

2021.09.20

I like Luppi. I was absolutely overjoyed when Luppi made an appearance as a playable character in Blade Battlers 2nd which was released on PS2. In this game, Luppi's arms transform into tentacles and he could extend them to attack. I was surprised because there was no such depiction in the original work. Did sensei also supervise the settings for attacks in this game?

A201.

I can't recall so I probably didn't touch it. Luppi fighting with outstretched arms is so entertaining to me. I think that outlaw kind of feeling is one of the greatest qualities about games back then.

Q202.

2021.09.20

Of all the characters you have drawn, which one did sensei consider the most difficult to design?

A202.

Shun Shun Rikka, or rather the image of Orihime's abilities is the one thing which changed the most without quite clicking together. Initially, the story was that Orihime herself would grow Horns and sprout a tail, becoming sort of like a dragon girl.

Q203.

2021.09.20

Sensei, is there any character that you have drawn who makes you think "this guy is insufferable"?

A203.

There isn't. I draw while thinking “this is so scummy, that's the best thing about it.”

Q204.

2021.09.20

Does Kubo-sensei have any fetish? When I look at sensei's drawings, I can't help but speculate that you like slender wrists and long fingers, regardless of gender.

A204.

I don't have any particular fetish. I think it's because I draw illustrations using my own hands as reference.

Q205.

2021.09.20

Regarding Ichimaru Gin's eye color, I believe it was red around the early days of the anime, and then changed to blue in the latter half. What does Kubo-sensei think of his red eyes around this early stage? Also, as far as Kubo-sensei's canon is concerned, is it safe to assume Ichimaru Gin's eye color is blue?

A205.

In the early days, the checks were not being handed down to me so they ended up being red. For the record, the anime related mistakes were errors made by my editor at the time who didn't bring the checks to me. Because of this, I drew Gin with his eyes open on the cover of volume 20.

Q206.

2021.09.20

Rukia's visuals in the live-action adaptation has become quite a hot topic of conversation, but was the matter reviewed by Kubo-sensei?

A206.

I had made it clear from the beginning that I would not be involved with the live-action project, so basically the whole thing was given the okay. Even regarding Rukia's hair, there was a conversation where I said "I'd like you to go ahead with this" so I assumed there was a clear vision but it turns out there wasn't. I don't dislike the movie itself. Renji was extremely good.

Q207.

2021.09.27

Kubo-sensei, to what extent do you supervise merchandise and so on? I'm very happy that a lot of BLEACH merch has been released recently.

A207.

I feel like I'm supervising the things my editor can't make a judgment call on. Speaking of editors, they try their best to avoid handing over supervision duties to authors so that they can allow authors to concentrate on their creations, but after the series had ended, I had some free time so my editor has started bringing me more supervision duties than before.

Q208.

2021.09.27

If it were to come true, would you ever wish for a BLEACH anime adaptation, which faithfully follows the original work, to be broadcast by way of a remake?

A208.

I think I would.

Q209.

2021.09.27

It seems that the 2021 art exhibition will only be held at one location in Tokyo, but would it be possible for you to consider holding it at a variety of other locations? I'm really looking forward to it, but I'm sure there are many people across the country who live a considerable distance away and can't make it. It's a wonderful opportunity, so I think it will be easier to visit if it is hosted in various locations. I think it's a really difficult task, but I would be grateful if you could consider it just once.

A209.

I also want to show the exhibit to my parents, so I hope it will be held in Hiroshima.

Q210.

2021.09.27

Even though Byakuya and Ichika-chan never interact in the original work, I can easily imagine Byakuya being an uncle. I wonder why that is?

A210.

I can imagine it too. Byakuya's face whenever he tells her "kamawanu*"…. (*It's fine/I don't mind)

Q211.

2021.09.27

In volume 58, chapter 518, when Grimmjow was trying to interrupt Urahara and Ichigo's communication, Urahara instructed Orihime and Sado to "use the you-know-what to chase him back outside the tent", but what exactly was the "you-know-what"? What in the world is it, that it can throw Grimmjow off balance to such a degree…? I've been wondering about this for a long time.

A211.

It's a device which emits a sound that Grimmjow dislikes.

Q212.

2021.09.27

Is Ninny-chan easier to draw than Noel-chan?? I was curious because there are more illustrations drawn of Ninny-chan!

A212.

This is because the clothes I want to draw tend to suit Ninny better. If you have big breasts, it's probably difficult to find clothes that suit you.

Q213.

2021.10.04

Ginrei is Byakuya's grandfather, but Kyōraku did not mention his name as a Shinigami who has been Captain for 100 years or more, so perhaps his career as a Captain was rather short?

A213.

I forgot to mention him! Let's just pretend it was Shunsui's blunder.

Q214.

2021.10.04

Do you find that characters of a certain age group are easy to draw, and conversely, characters of a different age group difficult to draw?

A214.

I'm not very good at drawing children or toddlers.

Q215.

2021.10.04

I have been curious about Tsubokura Rin-kun of the Shinigami Research and Development Institute. Rin-kun's hair wasn't filled in when he was in monochrome, I thought for certain he had pale blonde or white hair. However, in the anime his hair was dark brown … so as far as you are concerned sensei, what colors did you imagine when designing him?

A215.

Was that the color it turned out to be? The image I had in mind is a pale sepia-like color.

Q216.

2021.10.04

Isn't it too bothersome to draw Grimmjow's hairstyle??

A216.

It's too bothersome isn't it? I wonder if you could give him a stiff pompadour instead?

Q217.

2021.10.04

Do you remember the first game you ever played?

A217.

It's "GeGeGe no Kitarō - Yōkai Daimakyō" which was purchased for me together with the Famicom unit itself.

Q218.

2021.10.04

Do you get asked to draw portraits by acquaintances?

A218.

I have always refused all portrait requests from both friends and celebrities.

Q219.

2021.10.11

What is Kensei's specialty dish?

A219.

It's "Whole Pumpkin Gratin". The highlight for him is the part where he gets to use his bare hands.

Q220.

2021.10.11

When I saw the Playlist on KlubOutside, I was surprised at the wide scope of Sensei's music choices. How do you discover new music?

A220.

SoundHound is my recommendation.

Q221.

2021.10.11

Is the bellyband worn by the Shinigami Men's Association the same as the one worn by Kirinji Tenjirō?

A221.

It's different. The bellyband Tenjirō wears was made by Senjumaru.

Q222.

2021.10.11

Now that I think of it, what does "Whiskrs" mean? I looked into it, and although there are some existing terms, I couldn't find anything in particular with regard to its meaning. I don't know whether sensei came up with the name or not, but perhaps it envelopes some special meaning?

A222.

It's a modified spelling of the word "whiskers". I came up with the name, or to be more specific, it's originally the name of a store that exists within the BTW universe. Though, this still has yet to make an appearance in the story.

Q223.

2021.10.11

When you go out, have you ever had a fan recognize you as Kubo-sensei and then attempt to speak with you?

A223.

A long time ago, another author wound up uploading a photo of a drinking party I was with to Twitter in the middle of the get-together, the restaurant was identified from the photograph and I was ambushed. It was late at night and I was on my way home alone, so it was really scary. That was probably the one and only time I was approached on the street.

Q224.

2021.10.11

Sensei, have you ever felt negatively about your own work in the past? I am currently creating works with the goal of becoming a designer, but unfortunately I feel embarrassed to display even the things I have created very recently in front of others. How do you overcome this from your perspective, sensei?

A224.

When I first became a manga artist, I felt embarrassed when my editor read my draft right in front of me. If you are creating something that personally satisfies you, you're just not accustomed to showing it to the average person, so you have no choice but to show it to a bunch of people and get used to it.

Q225.

2021.10.11

Have you ever had a character Awakened in Brave Souls? If so, I would like to know which character it is.

A225.

It's Fierce Battle Aizen. Though, it's more like I just ended up Awakening him when I was targeting others.

Q226.

2021.10.18

In the work, it was never once stated from a reliable source that Tōshirō's Bankai comes undone once his petals dissipate, but what actually happened when his petals fell away during the period he had an imperfect Bankai?

A226.

Hitsugaya would injure himself after going through an imperfect growth.

Q227.

2021.10.18

When Rangiku had collapsed, Gin said "the fact that you passed out from hunger, it means that you have it too, right? Spiritual Power." and in Volume 11, there is a description from the exchange between Rukia and Renji that those with Spiritual Power feel hungry. But why didn't Hitsugaya realize he had powers until he dreamed of Hyōrinmaru?

A227.

Because his grandmother taught him that "only children get hungry.”

Q228.

2021.10.18

Why did Orihime's Rikka grow larger when Chad and Orihime returned from training in the final arc? I was curious because no one touched on the matter.

A228.

That's because Kisuke modified it to match her clothes (a cover was installed on the outside of the pins to make them difficult to break), but nobody said anything because they didn't think it was particularly worth mentioning.

Q229.

2021.10.18

When I was looking at "Hirako glasses" which was updated on the Gallery's Graffiti section, I became curious, what is that thing Hirako Shinji is holding in his mouth? Considering the hot drink in his left hand, maybe it's a cinnamon stick or something?

A229.

It's a cigarillo that he's holding in his mouth purely for fashion. I looked into it when I drew it but I couldn't find anything that matched the size I imagined.

Q230.

2021.10.25

Good evening! The work titled "maturity" in the gallery that was released on April 3, 2021, could that be Mayuri-sama?

A230.

It's Mayuri. When I tried to type the title "mayuri", I accidentally tapped on the wrong suggestion and entered that instead, I left it as it is because it's a pain to change it.

Q231.

2021.10.25

Did Ikkaku make the strap that Ichika has attached to her bag in JET?

A231.

That's right.

Q232.

2021.10.25

In BLEACH, how much influence did the ranking results of popularity polls have on a character's level of activity?

A232.

It's irrelevant. I'm the type who thinks "isn't that kind of thing discourteous to characters with few votes?"

Q233.

2021.10.25

Regarding the art exhibition, is it possible to increase the number of venues? I would absolutely love to participate, but due to the current situation, it is quite difficult to travel to Tokyo. Nevertheless, there are many fans of sensei and his work around the world. Although this is a very presumptuous request, I would be extremely grateful if you could consider it. Best regards.

A233.

I'll let my editor know! Murakoshi-saaan!!

Q234.

2021.10.25

Sensei, given that you play a lot of Dragon Quest, I was curious, is "Zaraki" - the district of Rukongai which Zaraki Kenpachi took as his name - based on the spell "Thwack" (*Zaraki in Japanese).

A234.

That's correct. Hold on, have I never mentioned this before?

Q235.

2021.11.01

Is there any reason why Kyōraku-san couldn't grace the cover of a tankōbon? I wanted him to have a cover.

A235.

It's just a coincidence. I wanted to draw it too.

Q236.

2021.11.01

Are Renji's tattoos only on the upper half of his body? Do they not continue down to his thighs?

A236.

They don't continue down. Wait? Have I never drawn his thighs before?

Q237.

2021.11.01

Is the double chant that Rukia recited during the fight against Aaroniero, simply the Sōren Sōkatsui chant split in two, with the Rikujōkōrō chant sandwiched in-between? Or does the substance of the chant change slightly depending on whether each is invoked independently or as a double chant?

A237.

It's a shortened version of Rikujōkōrō inserted between the full version of Sōren Sōkatsui. The effectiveness of the spells will increase if you perform both chants in full, but the time efficiency will decrease, so that would diminish the purpose of a two layered chant.

Q238.

2021.11.01

When a Zanpakutō is inherited from another person like in the case of Tōsen and Kenpachi, will the essence of its soul be overwritten? Or will it be made to mix with the essence of the previous owner?

A238.

Generally it is overwritten, but in some cases it may mix.

Q239.

2021.11.08

Were there any foreshadowing elements that made you go "ultimately, nobody noticed, huh?" up to the end of the BLEACH serialization? If so, is it likely there will be an opportunity to present it somewhere?

A239.

After I've finished playing a game or watching a movie, I like spending time alone thinking about what happened here and there or discussing with others about this and that. I want to create moments like that, so there are some parts where I try to depict things in a way that is not easily noticed, that's why unless someone correctly points it out, I try not to say much.

Q240.

2021.11.08

Why didn't Ryūken give Uryū the "ken" (弦) character in his name? ×[1]

A240.

Because he was thinking that he didn't want to let Uryū become Quincy.

Q241.

2021.11.08

How far have you progressed in Monster Hunter? If there is a monster that you like among the monsters that appear in this title, please tell me about it!

A241.

I haven't played in a while. In this title I like Goss Harag.

Q242.

2021.11.08

Can I post the photos from the gallery on social media??!?!?

A242.

I guess it's not allowed, going by the FC rules. You can post my dog from Deskside at least.

Q243.

2021.11.15

Have you ever had to change a scene you originally wanted in order to make the depiction more in line with Jump guidelines? If so, which scene is it and how did you truly want to draw it?

A243.

During the time Jump had a large circulation, extremely graphic depictions were not allowed, so I had to redraw some of the places where Mayuri appears. The first thing I fixed was the scene where his squad members die in an explosion.

Q244.

2021.11.15

There are characters for whom the theme music feels perfect, and on the other hand, others for whom the theme music is unexpected. By listening to each character's song, I feel like I am able to learn more about a character's inner being, it's so much fun! When deciding on a song, which does sensei place more importance on: the lyrics, or the melody?

A244.

It's only about the melody, sound and vocal quality. If it's the case that the lyrics also match, it's just a coincidence.

Q245.

2021.11.15

The market for e-books has grown larger, but when it comes to electronic and physical copy, people often say things like "you should buy the physical book!" What do you think?

A245.

Either one is fine. Even I read most of my manga electronically now. I like making paper books but I think physical paper copies will become more of a collector's item in the near future.

Q246.

2021.11.15

Kubo-sensei draws many animals, but are there any that you particularly enjoy drawing?

A246.

Right now it's dogs. Since owning a dog, I've started to grow fond of animals, so I feel like I may reach a point where I'm able to draw animals a little better now.

Q247.

2021.11.15

If there was an entrance song for Chad's boxing match, I wonder what kind of music it would be? If you have a song in mind that you can imagine for this scenario, please share the artist's name and song title with us.

A247.

It would be "Apache" by Michael Viner's Incredible Bongo Band.

Q248.

2021.11.22

An illustration of Tatsuki wearing a Shihakushō exists, did you originally plan to have her transform into a Shinigami?

A248.

The one I drew for Jump Festa a long time ago, right? That's just an illustration I drew for Jump Festa that one time.

Q249.

2021.11.22

It seems like Rukia often wears dresses in the Human World, is there some reason why? If you have any particular preferences regarding the clothing choices of the BLEACH cast, please by all means, tell us about it!

A249.

I'll give you three example reasons for why they wear what they wear:

Orihime's body type makes it difficult for her to wear a dress.

I wanted to make a physically active Rukia stand out by making her wear clothes that are ill suited for physical activity.

Rukia was wearing hakama in Soul Society, so she's not familiar with fitted clothes.

Q250.

2021.11.22

You may not remember this … but during an autograph signing session, I was the one who announced "I'm getting married to my boyfriend who I initially became friends with through BLEACH!" We broke up at lightning speed after that! (Peace sign.) But sometimes we hang out and are on good terms as friends. Now my question is, what is sensei's favorite color?

A250.

My condolences. It's orange.

Q251.

2021.11.22

In the JET Q&A segment, you replied that the Vice-Captains of the 13th Division ten years later would be Sentarō and Kiyone, but I believe Kiyone was also the Vice-Captain of the 4th Division, so does that mean that they are concurrently serving as Vice-Captains?

A251.

That would be a mistake. Sentarō is the only Vice-Captain of the 13th.

Q252.

2021.11.29

Please tell us how Unagiya Ikumi-san and Ichigo met in the first place.

A252.

Their meeting came about when Ichigo delivered Kaoru, a lost child (and Ikumi's son) back to his mother. (Ikumi encountered them en route.)

Q253.

2021.11.29

Ichigo remembers the time Orihime carried her older brother Sora to the Kurosaki Clinic, but does Orihime remember meeting Ichigo at this time? When Ichigo entered high school, he noticed that Orihime was the girl from back then, does Orihime realize that it was Ichigo who greeted her at that moment?

A253.

Ichigo is the only one who remembers. Ichigo remembers that scene clearly because he felt a strong sense of one-way sympathy for Orihime, who was on the verge of losing her family.

Q254.

2021.11.29

Sensei, what's the one thing that makes you think "I'm second to none when it comes to this!"?

A254.

My Mickey Mouse impression.

Q255.

2021.11.29

I got the impression that Aizen-sama was often drinking black tea at Las Noches, but I wonder if likewise he drank Japanese tea during the time he was in Soul Society in the role of a Shinigami? Or is it that Western style food and drink like black tea also exist in Soul Society, and he has been a black tea enthusiast since long ago?

A255.

I drew that because I wanted a scene where Aizen eats the same thing as the Espada, but when it came to eating, there were some characters (like Ulquiorra) who I didn't want to depict in a dining scene (at that point), so I merely chose black tea as a compromise, therefore it's not that I was paying any particular attention to tea itself.

Q256.

2021.12.06

Is it possible for a member of the Gotei 13 to transfer to another Squad at their own behest? Recruitment of Captains or Vice-Captains from other Squads has been portrayed, but what is the situation like for ordinary soldiers?

A256.

It is possible if they make an application and obtain permission through their superior officer all the way up to the Captain. However, If they don't have any accomplishments their superior will reject it so it's difficult for an ordinary soldier.

Q257.

2021.12.06

Do you have a favorite coffee shop?

A257.

The place I frequent the most is Hoshino Coffee. I want to go to Komeda but I haven't had the chance to go yet.

Q258.

2021.12.06

What kind of life did Ikkaku-san and Shino-chan lead in Rukongai? I'm not sure if they're related by blood or not, but are they still family?

A258.

They're ordinary relatives. The Madarame family are a distinguished family and Ikkaku is treated like an oddball.

Q259.

2021.12.06

What do you order when you use services like Uber Eats for delivery?

A259.

The thing I order the most is Starbucks' White Mocha. By the way, I don't use Uber because I had a scary experience in the past.

Q260.

2021.12.06

I would like a YouTube channel or something to be created for Uni-chan.

A260.

If I could get someone to do the editing for me, then I would like to make one to document my dog's growth, but I don't think I would update it often….

Q261.

2021.12.13

If you were to spend a day with any character from "BLEACH" or "BURN THE WITCH", who would you like to be with?

A261.

I seriously thought about it, but maybe being with Balgo would be the easiest….

Q262.

2021.12.13

Speaking in terms of BLEACH characters, who would you compare the breast sizes of Noel-chan and Cquntnire-san to?

A262.

It's more or less that I'm drawing Noel like Orihime and Cquntnire like Nel.

Q263.

2021.12.13

What is Kubo-sensei's favorite rock or metal band?

A263.

I haven't been listening to much metal lately…during my high school days, I liked ROYAL HUNT and IN FLAMES.

Q264.

2021.12.13

This is closer to a request than a question, but I would like for you to issue and sell, the currently trending, NFTs with BLEACH illustrations! If that were to happen, I would definitely buy them!

A264.

I'll let my editor know about this also. Murakoshi-saaan!

Q265.

2021.12.13

What is your favorite ice cream?

A265.

Lately, I've been liking HERSHEY'S Chocolate Ice Bars. It's also nice that each bar is small and just the right size.

Q266.

2021.12.20

I have a question regarding BTW Magic. In chapter 0.8 which is a one-shot, Noel-chan uses Absolute Dragon Shatter in Front London, but in chapter 1, numbered Pipers spells known as "Magic" made an appearance. As a premise, I believe that Magic and Absolute Dragon Shatter are alike (as they both use Witch Kits), I suspect that the reason why Noel-chan adopted this unnumbered attack method in Front London may be due to one of the following two points:

1. Magic is an attack method that utilizes the medium of Witch Kits to feed on a special energy similar to Reishi which exists only in Reverse London, on the other hand, Absolute Dragon Shatter is an attack method made for Front London, which does not require this special Reishi.

2. Given that it was an attack against a Disguiser Dragon who had remained hidden for ten odd years, Absolute Dragon Shatter was used as an arcane means and is considered the highest order of Magic or even a method surpassing Magic itself.

I'm really interested about the relationship between Magic and Absolute Dragon Shatter, will it be revealed within the story in the future!?

A266.

How insightful, I'm not sure whether or not I'll get to write about it in the future so I'll explain. In Front London, you can basically only use spells through items that are "charged" with magical power. The gun-pipe is not a rechargeable item, but Noel habitually fills it with magical power of her own accord, the release of that power is Absolute Dragon Shatter. Only Noel is able to use it.

Q267.

2021.12.20

The person Ichigo respects is Shakespeare. Given this fact, does it follow that this is a universe where eminent figures like Mozart and Napoleon existed?

A267.

Eminent figures certainly exist within the Soul Society too, but if I were to touch upon that, the manga would end up in a completely different place, so I didn't bring it up.

Q268.

2021.12.20

Do Szayelaporro's glasses have lenses? Since it's a mask, there should be no lenses so I assumed it was the frame alone. However in the anime, there were depictions of lenses reflecting the light and gleaming so I was confused!

A268.

There is no lens.

Q269.

2021.12.20

Were all the designs of the Zanpakutō which materialized in the Zanpakutō: The Alternate Tale arc, created by you, sensei?

A269.

I came up with some ideas and had an image in mind, Kudō-san designed them, I checked them. They pass for various reasons like being "just as I imagined!" or being "interesting because I wouldn't have come up with this design myself!"

Q270.

2021.12.27

Do you have a favorite character from Dragon Quest numbered titles or spin-off works?

A270.

It's King Grossner (Dragon Quest 10).

Q271.

2021.12.27

I heard that you like figure skating, Kubo-sensei, but do you have a favorite athlete?

A271.

It's Candeloro.

Q272.

2021.12.27

It is mentioned in the novel "WE DO knot ALWAYS LOVE YOU", that when Shiba Kaien died in battle, Isshin was the Captain of Squad 10. Why didn't Rukia, who was already serving as a member of the Gotei 13 at the time, realize that Ichigo's father was Shiba Isshin when she was freeloading off of the Kurosaki family?

A272.

There are two reasons for this: for one, his outward appearance was completely different. Secondly, he was a Captain from another Squad and she was a regular soldier, so they didn't have much point of contact in the first place. To go further, given that there is no way for a Shinigami to have children with a human (only Kisuke knows how), the idea that a "Shinigami may become human and produce children in the Human World" did not occur to Rukia.

Q273.

2022.01.03

I like the accessories (hats, sunglasses, etc.) and clothes that the characters are wearing in KlubOutside's Graffiti, they are exceedingly stylish. Is it possible to put them up for sale?

A273.

I will let the FC manager know about this. Totani-saaan!

Q274.

2022.01.03

Sensei, do you have any plans to publish, for instance, the yonkoma you drew for the magazine into a single book someday?

A274.

It might have been published in JET.

Q275.

2022.01.03

When you were writing BTW, who came to your mind first between Ninny and Noel?

A275.

Out of all the characters in BTW, Noel was the first.

Q276.

2022.01.03

When Rukia entered her name into the family register, it's assumed that she did not change her last name, but now that she has become a Captain, it means there will be two Captain Kuchiki, so how do the other troops distinguish between the two when addressing them? Is it possible that she will revert to the Abarai surname?

A276.

Many of the troops differentiate between them by calling them Captain Kuchiki and 13th Captain Kuchiki.

Q277.

2022.01.10

Did Zangetsu eventually return to being a single blade? The "Ten Years Later" version of Ichigo was implemented in the social game - Brave Souls, and he wielded the "Zangetsu which emerged from a broken Tensa Zangetsu" as seen in the final stages of the Thousand-Year Blood War arc. Zangetsu which was reforged into two swords for Hollow and Quincy, became one as Tensa Zangetsu in Bankai, so I thought for sure it would return to two swords once the Bankai is disengaged.

However, does this mean that Zangetsu did not return to two swords due to the fact that after activating Bankai, Ichigo's Hollow and Quincy powers were absorbed by Yhwach, and that his Bankai was damaged among other factors? Or is it that it's possible for Ichigo to wield both the dual swords and the single sword if he so desires?

It may just be game original staging to begin with, but I was intrigued.

A277.

Since I haven't described this in detail nor do I plan to portray the matter any further, I'll give you an answer. The two blades of Zangetsu are the "sword" and the "sheath". The correct form of a Zanpakutō is one that has a sheath, and there are only two swords without one: Sayafushi and Zangetsu. What fixed Zangetsu into its "correct form" is the dual swords state, and in Bankai Zangetsu is placed back in its sheath, what emerged after that sheath was shattered is the "True Zangetsu". The shattered sheath was absorbed by Ichigo, so I think he is also able to return to dual blades if he wants to, but I suppose that depends on Ichigo himself.

Q278.

2022.01.17

I've always wondered about this since reading volume 12, but was there a physical relationship between Aizen and Hinamori? I think it's more fitting for Aizen to not engage in this sort of thing, so I'm on the side that says it didn't happen.

A278.

I won't answer this because I think it'll be more fun to leave it unanswered.

Q279.

2022.01.17

Is Hōzukimaru a rare type of Zanpakutō which always requires the sheath for its Shikai.

A279.

That's right.

Q280.

2022.01.17

Kubo-sensei, when it comes to TVs, are you in favor of wall-mounted? Or do you prefer freestanding?

A280.

Mine is attached to a wall storage unit with an extendable arm.

Q281.

2022.01.24

Upon being granted a letter, does the Schrift allow abilities to manifest based on the nature of an individual? Or does His Majesty already know what they are before granting it at the epithet stage.

A281.

Yhwach can see words almost as if they were engraved on the individual's body. Those who are bestowed Schrifts, which were previously lost through death in battle and so on, are discovered from the words engraved on them and then given power.

Q282.

2022.01.24

Do Yōkai and Yōsei exist in the world of BLEACH?

A282.

It would be more fun if they did.

Q283.

2022.01.24

A color version of the BLEACH e-books exist, but does Kubo-sensei decide on the color scheme and such?

A283.

There are parts that I check and parts that I don't (I only check what my editor asks me to check), but even the parts that I do were decided upon rapidly in the intervals between my work schedule during serialization, so when I look at them afterwards, I often come to think "was this the kind of color I chose??”

Q284.

2022.01.31

Sensei, if you had the opportunity to be involved in a project in the future, what sort of creative work would you like to be involved in? (Live-action film, animated movies, manga, dramas, YouTube, etc.)

A284.

If I could get involved with the story aspect, then it would probably be a game.

Q285.

2022.01.31

If you could actually sell any kind of merchandise at the fan club shop, what kind of items would you want to sell?

A285.

Bracelets with the text from the opening poems.

Q286.

2022.01.31

Is the reason why Uryū was not affected by Auswählen connected to Uryū's grandfather?

A286.

There's a bit of a complicated setup regarding this, but it might appear in the anime adaptation of the Thousand-Year Blood War arc. (Depending on the composition.)

Q287.

2022.02.07

It has already been decided that the Thousand-Year Blood War arc is getting an anime adaptation, but will there also be an anime adaptation of the side story novels? I'd especially like to see "WE DO knot ALWAYS LOVE YOU" in the anime which depicts Rukia and Renji's marriage and the progress of Ichigo and Orihime's relationship.

A287.

Ah, I see. If there is enough room, then it may be possible.

Q288.

2022.02.07

Is it not true that Gigi is a girl? It kind of seems like Yumichika only said otherwise to provoke her.

A288.

Giselle is a man.

Q289.

2022.02.07

Who was the one to slash Rukia from behind during the first invasion by the Sternritter?

A289.

The plan is to depict this in the anime version.

Q290.

2022.02.14

Is the giant spoon used by Hikifune Kirio of Squad Zero actually her Zanpakutō?

A290.

That's correct.

Q291.

2022.02.14

During the performance of the ROCK MUSICAL BLEACH, Kubo-sensei personally talked to Tsuchiya-san, who played the role of Gin, about Gin's true intentions and purpose, as he was having a difficult time interpreting the character, and Gin's true intentions had not yet been revealed within the story at the time. I remember there was an episode which went something like that, but in so doing, did you also discuss everything which occurred with regard to Rangiku and Aizen? Also, did you not have any reluctance to divulge information which has not yet been revealed in the story?

A291.

I feel that we talked about things like how Gin viewed each character rather than the story itself. If it is necessary for the performance, then there is a possibility that I may also convey undisclosed information to the voice actors so it's not limited to this particular occasion.

Q292.

2022.02.14

Is the "table with English language BLEACH quotes suspended inside its transparent legs" which you wrote about in the cover flap comment of Volume 44, still being used? I would love to see photos of sensei's favorite furniture and more!

A292.

I use it when I'm composing my drafts at home. The tabletop is in disarray, so I hope a photo of the legs will do.

Q293.

2022.02.21

With regard to the role of a Shinigami, it involves cleansing Hollows of their sins by way of a Zanpakutō and sending them to Soul Society in peace, but was this role simply to extinguish Hollows until Nimaiya Ōetsu showed up?

A293.

It was only after the creation of the Gotei 13 that the role of a Shinigami was properly defined.

Q294.

2022.02.21

At what age did Chad get his tattoo? Was it when he moved to Mexico? Or did he get it inked in his own hometown in Okinawa? I would be grateful if you could tell us.

A294.

He got his tattoo in Mexico when he was 9 years old.

Q295.

2022.02.21

I heard that the Lost Agent of the Shinigami arc concluded earlier than planned, is that true? If so, I'd like you to tell us about the story you were actually planning to write.

A295.

You mean the rumor that I was planning to compose an episode for all the classmates but I got bored and decided against it? If so, then it's true. I feel like I mentioned that in a character book or something.

Q296.

2022.02.21

Have you ever wanted to draw Oiroke manga? (*Manga with light erotic content.)

A296.

I'm not confident that I'd be able to draw it well.

Q297.

2022.02.28

In the BLEACH PS2 game "Bleach: Erabareshi Tamashii", techniques such as "Hadō #20: Shōtenkyū" and "Hadō #26: Gōensai" made an appearance, but were these Kidō Kubo-sensei's ideas or the creations of the game staff? If it's the former, I'd also like to know how to write it in kanji!

A297.

I had no involvement with that so they're the creations of the game staff.

Q298.

2022.02.28

I really love the relationship between Ichigo and the store manager, Unagiya Ikumi, and you can sense in the air how Ichigo suddenly turns back into a child. Please tell us if there was anything you paid extra attention to when creating Ikumi-san.

A298.

Ikumi is a character that was born because I wanted to create a place for Ichigo where he could be himself outside the Kurosaki home due to a plot development, that is, the sudden loss of a place where he belongs in the Lost Agent arc.

Q299.

2022.02.28

In "BURN THE WITCH", it seems that each division is armed with a different type of weapon, but in the event that they change affiliations, like how Bruno encouraged the witches to do in the story, do they undergo training with new weapons?

A299.

They train with new weapons. It is also among the Director's faculties to ascertain an individual's suitability for a weapon and then offer an invitation to them.

Q300.

2022.03.07

Is the thing under Hisagi's left eye, tape? A tattoo perhaps?

A300.

It's a tattoo.

Translation Footnotes:

×1. 弦 means bowstring and is in both the names of Sōken (宗弦) and Ryūken (竜弦).

132 notes · View notes

dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 2 months

Text

The Dangers of Hope Ch. 7

Series Summary: When Y/N shows up at Camp Chitaqua with her little girl in tow, her bloodshot eyes leave no doubt that she's infected. Or is she? Everything Dean has come to know for certain over the last five hellish years, is about to be challenged.

Pairings/Characters in the series: Endverse!Dean x Reader, Emma (OFC), Castiel, Sam Winchester, Lucifer, Michael, Zachariah, Risa, Johnston (OMC), Patrick (OMC), Theresa (OFC), other survivors and soldiers.

Series Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Show level violence, some gore, angst, smut, fluff all the usual for a series of mine. ❤️ Endverse!Dean (that's a warning for his anger and callousness as well as his extreme hotness. 😁) Each chapter will have their own specific warnings.

Chapter Warnings: Angst, bit of smut.

Word Count: 4,813

A/N: So, I've had this idea for quite a while. Basically since I watched The Last of Us. I loved Pedro in the role of Joel, but I kept thinking how incredible Jensen would have been. Which then made me think of how amazing he was as Endverse!Dean which then led me to this idea. Lol! I've stolen the premise of Ellie's storyline from TLOU, but made her a grown up, a reader insert, and a love interest for Dean.

If you've never seen TLOU, don't worry - you don't need to have seen it to understand this story. 😊

I've taken some liberties with the Endverse in my story, changed a few things from canon, but kept lots of things too.

I sincerely hope you enjoy the story. It will be ten chapters and I will do my very best to post one chapter every weekend. ❤️

A/N 2: Chapter 7 has arrived. 😊 I hope you enjoy it! Thanks so much to everyone who has been reading, liking, commenting and reblogging this series! It means SO much! ❤️

Series Master List || Main Master List || Tag Lists

The dividers below were created by @saradika

Three and a half weeks later

“And these would be beside every tent?” Dean asked Brandy as he looked at the rough drawings she’d made of her latest idea.

She nodded. “Yeah, on the West side of every tent. It would mean families don’t have to come to Food Storage every few days for more rations, and once the deep snow comes that’s gonna be a huge benefit for folks. Plus it’s easier for people to plan ahead and stretch their food if they have two weeks worth of rations sitting outside their tent. I mean, it won’t work once spring comes, but that’s a problem for spring.”

Dean nodded. He looked at their builders, the group of half a dozen survivors that were tasked with providing new buildings and necessities as the camp required. They’d built the sheds earlier in the year, the chicken coop last summer and were currently finishing up a small barn for the cow.

“Is this gonna interfere with completing the barn?” He asked, nodding at Brandy’s drawings.

One of the women, he was pretty sure her name was Vanessa, shook her head. “No, we’ll be finished with the barn in a couple of days, and be able to get Lily settled for the winter all snug, and then move on to the food sheds.” She looked at the drawing again and shrugged. “They’re small enough that we should be able to get them all done within a few weeks?”

She looked to the rest of the builders who nodded their agreement.

Dean frowned. “Lily?”

Vanessa grinned. “Yeah, sorry that’s what the kids have dubbed our little cow. Y/N has them going to visit her once a week so Ralph can teach them about farming.” She said, referring to the old farmer who had helped to plant the winter vegetables.

Dean felt his stomach twist as it always did when someone brought up her name. But he just nodded. “Okay, good. Get started on the food sheds as soon as you’re able. The deep snow is gonna come in the next couple weeks. It’d be good to have them all done by then.”

They all gave a chorus of “Okay, Boss” or “Sure thing Boss” as they nodded and took their leave. They wrapped their scarves tight and pulled on their mittens. The deep snow may not have come yet, but the ground was layered in white, and winter was sharp and stinging in the late November air.

Brandy gathered up her drawings and was headed out when Dean called her back.

“Brandy?”

She turned back to him, an eyebrow raised in question. They'd never discussed their meeting in the cabin with Y/N, but he'd noticed a slightly colder demeanor from her lately.

And he knew why, of course.

Brandy had been one of the original dozen survivors who had built the camp together. She'd been an incredible asset from the beginning, and they probably wouldn't have survived without her planning and strategies for running the camp. He and the soldiers may have kept the survivors alive, but Brandy kept them living by organizing and planning for their food and shelter. She was an invaluable member of the camp.

But three weeks ago he'd treated her like a servant meant to do his bidding. He knew he owed her an apology, but it had been so long since he'd apologized for anything that it stuck in his throat.

Now she contemplated him, waiting for him to speak, and he just nodded. He pointed towards her drawings.

“This is a good idea.” He cleared his throat. “So, thanks.”

Brandy stared a moment longer before a small smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. She nodded.

“No problem, Boss. That's what we're all here for, right?”

Dean just nodded and she lifted her scarf over her face and left the big cabin where Dean conducted most of his business these days, since it was warmer than his tent and could fit more people.

As he ran a hand over his face, the door opened again and most of his soldiers tromped inside. They were there to talk about security and possible threats, but Dean immediately looked at Johnston.

“Hey, did you tell her I want to see her?”

The thin man nodded vigorously. “Yes sir. I told her yesterday. Has…has she not come to see you yet?” He looked around the room as though Y/N might be hiding somewhere.

Dean shook his head. “No, she hasn't.” He pointed towards the door. “So why don't you go get her and tell her I expect to see her now.”

Johnston looked wary and as though he definitely didn't want to follow that order. But when Dean just stared him down, he turned and left quickly.

The rest of his soldiers began giving their reports about any problems they were having at the outposts, like equipment that needed repair or items that needed replenishing. But Dean was only half listening; his gaze kept straying to the door, waiting for Y/N to show.

Ten minutes later, Patrick was briefing him and Dean tried to focus on what he was saying.

“Williams has seen the group twice now, but -” Patrick cut himself off as Y/N and Johnston pushed through the door.

Y/N smiled at the soldiers as she came in. “Sorry to interrupt, but apparently I was summoned.”

She cut her glance to Dean and her smile turned brittle.

“I was told you needed to see me.”

“Yeah, since yesterday.” Dean responded, hardening his voice in an attempt to not seem desperate, especially in front of his soldiers.

“Sorry. Busy.” Was Y/N's curt reply. “What do you need?”

Dean took a deep breath. “I just wanted to know how you're -” he altered his words, “your school, or, uh, the school was going?”

Y/N paused for a moment before answering with a shrug.

“Fine.”

When it was clear that was all she was going to say, Dean scowled at her. “You wanna elaborate on that?”

She raised her chin a fraction. “Oh, I'm sorry, Boss, I don’t have anything else to say right now, but I’ll be sure to write out a full report for next week.”

Her eyes shot daggers that found their mark, bringing a pain to his chest that he felt a lot these days. He’d thought it might go away if he could talk to her, see her, but it was just worse with her there.

He shook his head. “That won't be necessary.” He said quietly.

“Anything else then, Sir?”

He'd never hated that moniker more. “No, that's it.”

She spun on her heel and walked out of the cabin. Silence reigned when she left. Dean waved at everyone else. “We'll finish this another time.” When they didn't immediately move, he made his voice a bit sharper.

“Dismissed.”

That got them moving and they all shuffled their way out the door - all except Risa. She closed the door behind her fellow soldiers and then turned back to face Dean.

He caught her eye and lifted his hands. “What?”

She shook her head slowly. “You're such an idiot.”

Dean dropped his hands and raised an eyebrow. “Wanna try that again?”

Risa shook her head as she walked back to him. “No, I said what I said.”

Dean gave her a look of annoyance as she reached him and leaned one hip on the table where he stood. She raised her hand to his cheek, her countenance softening.

“I really wanted to be the one.”

Dean scowled in confusion. “The one what?”

Risa pushed her fingers through his short hair. “The one to make you smile.” There was a long pause between them and Dean had no idea how to respond to that. She shook her head and stood up straight, dropping her hand. “But, it was obviously meant to be her.”

Dean scoffed. “What are you talking about?”

“Y/N. You know I'm talking about Y/N.”

He gave a short burst of sarcastic, humorless laughter. “Yeah, right. You think Y/N's gonna make me smile? I've done nothing but pull my hair out since she got here, so ..” He trailed off and looked away from Risa's knowing gaze.

Risa nodded. “Yeah, cause you're an idiot.” She reiterated.

When he looked back at her, Risa was smiling softly and wistfully. “Apologize to her, idiot. Try to get back what you've nearly lost. She's pissed, don't get me wrong, it might take some real groveling on your part but,” she nodded, “she has a very kind heart, so she might forgive you. It's definitely worth a try.”

Dean stared at her for a moment before he looked down at the ground, conceding the truth in her words. “I don't know how to do it.”

Risa gave a gentle laugh. “You're a smart guy. Bet you'll figure it out.”

She put her hand on his cheek again, resting the other on his chest as she stood on tiptoe to reach his lips. She placed a light, lingering kiss there and then pulled away.

“Goodbye, Dean.”

Dean felt a jolt of worry at the farewell. “You’re leaving? Am I losing a soldier?”

She smiled and shook her head. “No, the soldier is staying. I'm saying goodbye to the woman I wanted to be for you. And the man that she…cared about a lot. I hope he lets himself be happy.”

Dean frowned, feeling the weight of her goodbye, with all of its disappointed hopes.

“Goodbye Risa.” He said, and knowing it wasn't enough, he cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her lips, light and brief. “Thank you…for being the woman you are.”

He thought he saw a glimmer of moisture in her eye, but she blinked it away quickly and pulled out from under his hands. She moved to the door in a few strides and, with one last smile thrown over her shoulder, she walked away.

***

That afternoon as the winter sun headed into the west, Dean made the decision to go talk to Y/N. This was ridiculous. They were a camp of less than 150 people, continuing to try and avoid each other was impractical.

He'd just go tell her that.

He walked to the school because she was usually still there this time of day. But when he got there, the schoolroom was empty. He looked around the space that he hadn't seen in over a month and had to shake his head.

What had been a cold empty shed not even three months ago was now a warm, inviting, cozy space. She'd had a little camp stove installed, and on the Northern wall, replacing the fall leaves that had been there, was a giant, beautifully sewn quilt. He recognized it as the same design as the one that hung in the big cabin.

Hannah, who was Ralph-the-farmer's wife, had made it out of old scraps of material. It took a long time to gather enough scraps for a whole quilt so he knew this quilt probably took her months of hard work. But of course she'd gifted it to Y/N and the school. That's what Y/N brought out in people - hard work and generosity.

The small wooden table in the room had four chairs around it now and he wondered where she'd snagged the other two chairs.

The kids’ blanket seating had been enhanced slightly with the addition of a few pillows, and on the western wall, beside the old map, two long, weathered planks of wood had been nailed in place to serve as bookshelves. The books he'd brought back had been placed lovingly on the shelves, not a single corner bent on any of them.

He sighed at the changes and felt a warmth flare to life in his heart. Y/N did this too - seeming to warm the spaces around her without trying.

He walked out of the schoolroom and was just starting to walk back to his tent when he heard high pitched giggles coming from the side of the school just seconds before three small bodies hurtled forward, chasing and grabbing on to one another - Emma and her two little friends. He couldn't remember their names.

When they all saw him, the laughter fell away and Emma's eyes got wide, fear and suspicion filling them instantly. It felt like a punch when he remembered the way she'd climbed up on the chair beside him that one time, shy acceptance in her expression as she asked him to read to her.

He hated that she was so scared of him; he had to try and fix that much, at least.

“Hi girls.” He said in what he hoped was a friendly sounding voice. Emma's friends nodded and waved at him slightly. But Emma stayed on high alert.

He looked at her two friends. “I need to talk to Emma, so you girls head on home now.”

They looked to Emma who looked more scared than ever. But she whispered goodbye to them and they ran off.

Dean got a bit closer to her and went down on his haunches. He took a second to think what to say to her.

“You know, you don't have to be scared of me.”

“I'm not.” Emma said quickly while her big blue eyes were shrouded in fear.

Dean nodded. “Okay, good because…” He struggled to find the words that would help. “Cause I thought maybe I scared you a bit before. When I, uh, needed to talk to your mom alone.”

Emma nodded, the suspicion growing in her gaze. “When you were mad at Mommy.”

Dean shook his head. “No, I wasn't mad.”

Emma gave him a look that said she didn't believe him and he conceded with a nod.

“Okay, I was a little…upset, but I was just…confused. Eventually everything got figured out.”

She didn't say anything, clearly still highly skeptical.

Dean took a deep breath and decided to just go for it. “Anyway, I didn't mean to scare you and I'm…sorry about it.” He cleared his throat. “And I promise not to scare you like that again. Okay?”

Emma stared at him for a long time and he kept hold of her earnest blue gaze throughout her scrutiny. Slowly a smile spread across her face.

“Okay.” She said, accepting him at his word. “Then can you come over again for supper tonight? I can read a bunch of words now, mommy taught me in the books. So, I could help you read the story this time.”

Dean shook his head at the speedy ways of forgiveness in a child's heart, and for the first time in more years than he could remember, a small smile turned up one side of his mouth.

He reached out to pat her cold cheek. “I'm not sure, kiddo. We'll have to wait and see.” Emma was about to argue the point but Dean stood up. “Now it's gonna be dark soon and it's way too cold for you to be out here without a scarf. Don't you have one?” He asked.

Emma nodded. “Yeah, but I don't like it. It itches.”

Dean hummed. “Ah, yeah wool does that sometimes.” He unwound his own scarf from around his neck.

“Here, I'll trade you.” He said as he wound the polyester scarf around her neck and up over her cheeks. “Now, you head home.”

Emma's eyes were bright and happy above her new scarf as she danced away, skipping through the light snow that blanketed the ground.

He watched her go for a moment before turning back to head home himself. But he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Y/N standing in the path with an arm full of wood. Silence reigned for nearly a full minute. Finally he reached forward to take the wood, but Y/N shook her head.

“No, I’m fine.” She nodded toward the school. “Just stocking up for tomorrow.”

“Right.”

More silence. Y/N’s voice was quiet when she finally spoke. “Thank you for the scarf. It’s been impossible to get her to wear one.”

He nodded and then realized something. “How long were you standing there?”

Y/N took a deep breath, answering on an exhale. “Since just before you promised my daughter not to scare the shit out of her again.”

Dean nodded and closed his eyes. “So, basically the whole time.”

“Yeah, basically.” She took a beat pause. “Thank you for that.”

Dean nodded. She walked towards the school again but before she could close the door and shut him out, Dean called to her, knowing his voice sounded desperate.

“I needed to believe it.”

Y/N turned in the doorway, a frown on her face. “Needed to believe what?”

He took a step closer, feeling choked by all the words he wanted to say that wouldn’t form properly in his mind. Y/N stared at him for a moment more before huffing slightly and walking into the schoolroom. He followed her inside, closing the door against the wind as she dropped the pile of wood into a metal bucket by the stove.

When she turned back to face him, she was scowling. “Dean, I don’t know what you want here. What do you want me to say?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want her to say anything. He wanted to say things, so many things. “No, nothing.” He croaked out.

She crossed her arms over her chest, bunching up her too big jacket. “Then what are you doing here?”

He took deep breaths in through his nose, pushing the words out through a closed throat. “I needed to believe it.” He said again, quieter this time.

“Believe what?” Y/N asked in frustration.

He stepped close to her and she took a step back before refusing to retreat. He gazed at her and wished more than anything that she really could just see inside his head so he wouldn’t have to try and get it out.

But he looked at the ground quickly and then back at her. His breathing was slightly labored and his voice was thin as he spoke. “You’re so dangerous to me, Y/N.”

He knew he said the wrong words when her forehead wrinkled into a deep frown and she nodded. “Because - I’m a psychic monster? Or because I’m a croat? Why exactly am I dangerous this time?”

“Because you’re you.” Dean answered loudly, speaking over the end of her question. He sighed in frustration; he was getting all of this wrong. He looked up to the heavens, as though they could possibly help him, and tried again, speaking softer.

“I needed to believe that you could control my mind or my…my feelings because…” He trailed off and looked at Y/N hoping she’d just know what he was saying and finish the sentence for him. But she was still just frowning in confusion.

“Because,” he continued, “my feelings when I'm around you are…dangerous. For me, I mean, they’re dangerous. Y/N I can’t…” He shook his head. “The way you look at the world? And the way you change how I see it too? It’s so fucking dangerous.”

He waved his hand, trying to encompass everything. “This world is ugly and shitty, and fucking ended! We literally lived through the end of the world, and now all that’s left is this - this dark, violent, bullshit reality.”

He shook his head and his voice was filled with awe. “Yet somehow you move through it like this,” again he struggled for the words to describe her, “like some kind of lighthouse, like a refuge for every cold, lost thing. And I - “

He cut himself off, not sure he was making any sense. But Y/N had stopped frowning and was now just contemplating him.

He shrugged. “And when I’m around you, I feel warmer than I’ve felt in years, brighter.” He shook his head and moved away from her, embarrassed by his confession and knowing he wasn't saying it right.

He stared at the map as he spoke. “So, I needed to believe that the feelings weren’t real, that you’d just forced me to feel that way. Because if the feelings and thoughts you bring out of me are real?” His shoulders slumped. “God, I’m so fucked.”

He felt Y/N come up to stand just behind him on his right, but he stayed staring at the map as she spoke.

“Why? What’s so dangerous about warmth and light?”

His voice was barely audible as he answered slowly. “Because they bring hope. And hope is a lie. It’s a lie I believed for a long time, a lie I clung to. The lie of possibilities, of family, of good conquering evil. And when the lie was revealed and the world fell apart, the truth almost killed me.”

After a moment he turned to face her and felt his heart skip as he saw her expression of sadness and the tears that sparkled in her eyes, even in the growing dusk.

He lifted a hand to cup her cheek and thumbed away a tear as it fell over her bottom lashes. “And Y/N, if I allow myself to hope again, and it gets crushed by the world again…” He shook his head. “I won’t survive it, I know I won’t.”

He took a step closer to her and felt her warmth penetrating his cold bones. She grabbed his free hand and held it in both of hers as he dropped his other hand from her cheek.

“Or…” she said, her voice filled with conviction, “or we can both hope, both fight, and both win. Even if we never get big wins, the little ones still count. And they add up. Every day we’re here alive is a win. Every time we smile at someone and they smile back is a win. Every time the sun shines so bright you have to close your eyes, every time we hear Emma giggle, every time our stomachs are full, every time we do something to make our home here better - every small thing adds up to big wins.”

Dean shook his head. He knew that trying to resist the pull of her light and life was pointless; she’d been pulling him out of the dark, and changing his plans since the moment she’d come into his life.

He used their connected hands to pull her tight against him and watched heat enter her beautiful, red-ringed eyes.

He bent his head, but before his lips touched hers, he whispered words that came much easier now. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. For all of it. I’m so sorry.”

Another tear fell down her cheek and she smiled and bit her lip. “If I say you’re forgiven will you kiss me?”

He pretended to mull it over and then nodded. “Yes, I think that’s fair.”

In the dusky twilight around them he pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers; his arms tightened around her as she moaned softly.

He was definitely counting that sound as a win.

***

Over the next month Dean resumed his dinners with Y/N, the difference being that he was there nearly every night, and he’d stopped pretending to himself that he didn’t relish every moment with her and Emma.

Over the evenings spent together, Emma had warmed more and more to him so that now she ran to meet him every time he walked through their tent flap, holding her arms up so he’d pick her up and toss her up into the air, catching her in a swooping motion as she came down. It made Y/N gasp every time, but Emma squealed with delight. He’d set her down and she’d grab his hand, nearly three times the size of hers, and pull him over to the table.

He’d take off his heavy canvas jacket within the relative warmth of the tent, and drape it over Emma’s shoulders, making her giggle as she drowned inside it.

They’d sit around the table and share the day's events, though Emma usually did the majority of the talking. It always brought a mixture of feelings when he listened to her bubbly, excited stories. It made him happy and terrified at the same time. She was so precious he couldn’t help but smile, an expression that was becoming easier for him as the days went by. But also, his chest felt tight and he could feel terror creep in as the darkness whispered a warning, telling him that he couldn’t possibly keep her safe. He’d lose her, and Y/N too.

Sometimes that thought woke him from a deep sleep and made him shake and sweat. It was proving incredibly difficult to make all his fears go away. But as soon as he saw Y/N’s smile the next day, it felt easier.

In fact it was becoming increasingly difficult to go home at all, to leave her warm cozy tent and return to his dismal gray one. But they were trying to be careful and move slowly in deference to Emma. They didn’t want her to feel confused or unsure of things now that she finally seemed so at ease.

So they hid their kisses and their caresses until after Emma was sleeping, at which point they’d usually try and brave the cold long enough to enjoy some alone time, even if it was encumbered by bulky jackets and scarves. They never had enough time, but they’d managed slightly more satisfactory make out sessions in the empty school and in Dean’s tent. But they were always too rushed and things had to end too quickly.

Dean ached for her more and more every day.

One evening in mid December, the air was much milder than usual; the day had been unseasonably warm and the night held on to a trace of it. Dean had Y/N pressed up against the side of the thick canvas tent, sucking on the soft skin just below her ear. As her breath caught and she angled her head so that he had better access, he was practically vibrating with how badly he needed to feel her.

As he breathed into her mouth, he slowly unzipped her jeans, letting her tell him no if she wanted. But she just nodded and bit her lip.

He watched her face as he slipped his fingers under the waistband of the leggings she wore as an extra layer against the cold, and then down into her panties. He desperately tried to stifle the moan that wanted to escape as he felt how soaking wet she was for him.

“Goddamn.” He whispered roughly as he slid two fingers inside her, rubbing his thumb against her little bundle of nerves and making her bite harder into her lip to keep quiet. He decided to help her out and closed his mouth over hers, swallowing up her small moans.

He pushed in and out of her body, his cock hardening as she gripped his forearm where it disappeared into her pants while her cunt clenched tight around his fingers. He passed his fingers over her sweet spot a couple of times and she fell over the edge. She broke off their kiss to bury a scream in his neck, muffling it with his thick collar.

As she came down she clung to him, her hot breaths creating puffs of white in the cold air. She moved her hand to cup his hard on through his jeans and was just reaching for his zipper when they suddenly heard Cas’ voice inside the tent.

“Emma, where is your mother and Dean?”

Dean groaned. What the fuck? Y/N squeaked slightly and pulled her hand back, making him absolutely throb with need. He was gonna slaughter his best friend.

They were quickly righting their clothing when Emma's voice reached them, and it didn’t really sound like she’d been sleeping.

“They’re outside the tent, kissing each other.”

Y/N’s eyes got huge and round and Dean stifled a snorted laugh behind his palm while she slapped his bicep.

“It’s not funny. Jesus, we’re gonna traumatize her!” She said in a horrified whisper.

Suddenly Cas’ head poked around the side of the tent and he frowned. “Are you finished kissing?”

Y/N buried her head in Dean’s chest and Dean scowled at the angel. “Well, we sure as hell are now.”

Cas nodded, completely ignoring Dean’s frustration. “Good. You need to come inside. I have incredible news.”

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. “What news, Cas?”

The angel’s smile was surprising in its rarity and it made Dean raise an eyebrow.

“I know why Y/N isn’t a psychic.”

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters: @lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 @akshi8278 @evznackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly @candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma

Dean Fics Only: @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @safiyas-world

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom: @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl @hobby27 @waywardcheshire

Everything Incl. Fan Edits: @k-slla @leigh70 @eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @notinthislife50 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @deangirl96

#endverse!dean #endverse!dean x reader #dean winchester smut #endverse!dean series #endverse!dean fan fiction #dean winchester #dean x reader

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imonanotherlebel · 3 months

Note

Heey, i saw ur asks r open and i think i might need smtng abt hoshi or woozi helping their s/o coping with life stress fam stuff university and work at same time cuz i feel exhausted and i'm serious need of a delulu tap on my shoulder

Thanks✨

Oooooo I love this ask, babes. Let me write about Hoshi. I hope it's okay!

Personal note to anon: I hope you're doing okay babes. Life is very stressful and hard. But I want you to know that every storm ends eventually, and a beautiful time will come by soon. Hang in there!<3❤️

Genre: Tooth rotting fluff with abhint of angst.

Requested: I feel like Hoshi would step up and take all your life stress away as a partner. Like, he is such a sweetheart omg my heart! 😭❤️

Pairing: Hoshi x reader

Warnings: Mentions of food, i guess? WARNING, LOT OF LOVE AHEAD!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Hoshi breezed into your shared apartment, a playful glint in his eyes, ready to infuse the space with his trademark energy. However, a subtle change in your demeanor caught his attention.

"Hey, love, something's on your mind. Mind sharing with me?", he asked, his voice etched with concern.

You, caught off guard, offered a tired smile. "Just the usual uni and work stress, Hoshi. You know how it is."

Leaning in, Hoshi's playful expression shifted to genuine concern. "I know you better than that, baby. What's really going on, Y/n? Talk to me."

You sighed, deciding to drop the façade.

"Alright, family issues are piling up, and deadlines at uni are suffocating. Work isn't making it any easier. I still haven't completed my assignment which is due in two days. I don't know Hosh, I feel like I'm drowning."

Seated beside you, Hoshi gently took your hand in to his, rubbing them softly. "You're not alone in this, babe. We're a team. Tell me what's specifically bothering you."

You hesitated a little, then opened up about the complexities of your family dynamics, demanding courses, and the relentless pressure at work. Hoshi listened intently, his expressive eyes mirroring empathy.

"I didn't want to burden you with all this," you confessed, vulnerability seeping into your voice.

You have always been the person your family expected to be responsible and strong. You have gone through so many painful and difficult times on your own, never burdening anyone with them. Your tears had always been in between you and your pillow and the four walls of your room.

Hoshi cupped your face. "Love, your struggles are mine too. We face them together. Don't ever think you're burdening me.", he said concern and love written all over his face.

Hoshi, although usually is a playful, childish and funny person, knew when he had to step up and take the wheel so that you could let your guard down and lean on him for comfort.

.......

Over the next days, your interactions evolved into a symphony of shared moments. Hoshi was extra careful with you, always checking on you without bothering you too much.

Hoshi surprised you with more than just grand gestures – little notes carefully placed on the fridge or tucked into your books before heading to practices. Each note carried words of encouragement, love, and even a few goofy drawings which never failed to make you smile.

........

One day, as you got home after uni, you saw a pretty little bento box cake with a note next to it which read "Pretty cake for my pretty girl. Eat it all and regain your energy okay? And I know you get pretty stressed with your assignments at hand, so I have bought some of your favorite ice cream for you. It's in the fridge, okay? Love you baby! - Hosh<3"

Oh I wish I could eat this but my face is bloated and I feel like I might have gained some weight, so maybe just one bite. You felt so insecure as the stress from being so overworked kept you away from taking care of your body as you usually do.

You pulled out the little spoon and took a little bite off the cake before putting it into the fridge. You went back to your studies after a small shower.

A few hours later, Hoshi was back from his practice.

"Hey my beautiful girl!", he said brightly as he headed towards the fridge to get some cold water. "Hey, Hosh", you replied barely looking up.

"Hey..... Why is this still here?", Hoshi asked, concern etched in his tone. He sounded very hurt, you looked up towards him to see what's wrong. And there he was, with the bento cake in hand, looking at you sadly.

"I had a bite Hosh", you said, trying to sound cheerful and trying to hide the fact that you are slowly falling back into your insecurities.

"Liar.", he said furrowing his brows.

"Okay fine. Look Hosh, I've gained like five kilos these two weeks. I'm barely going to the gym. I think I should stop indulging, and cut my calories.

"Oh STOP IT!", he stormed towards you with the cake, looking mad as hell. One thing about this sweet boy, You never want to see him angry. He scary.

"Eat this. NOW", he said placing the cake infront of you with the spoon. He folded his arms and continued to give you a death stare. You slowly took the spoon into your had and picked at the cake. Bite after bite, Hoshi's anger seemed to fade away. When you were done with about half of it, Hoshi ruffled your hair.

"Baby, I know how important it is to take care of your body and be fit. But there are times in life when we can't prioritize it like before. But you should never be afraid of food. With more weight or not, you are you. You are working hard. You are trying your best. And you must eat, baby. That's all that matters. Okay?", he asked a hint of pain and lot of love filled in his voice.

"i'm sorry, babe. I just- It's just- I don't know...", you struggled finding words to explain your emotions.

"I know baby, I know.", he said softly as he came closer. Hugging you and pulling your head into his chest. Stroking it gently.

......

One evening on the balcony under a starry sky, Hoshi spoke softly. "You're resilient, Y/n. And it's okay not to be strong all the time. Lean on me when you need to."

Feeling a weight lift off your shoulders, you expressed gratitude. "Thank you for being my anchor, Hoshi. I appreciate having you."

He pulled you into a tender kiss, hugging you tightly afterwards. "We're in this together, always. Let's make this place not just our home but a haven where we face life's storms side by side. I want you to know that I will always be there by your side".

In the days that followed, Hoshi continued to shower you with affection. He would often sneak up behind you, planting soft kisses on your neck while you worked at your desk. "Just a little energy boost for my hardworking love," he'd say, leaving you smiling amidst your assignments.

One evening, as you prepared dinner together, Hoshi couldn't resist stealing a kiss, his playful tone accompanied by a mischievous grin. "Cooking is much better with a dash of love," he said, sealing the sentiment with another sweet peck that lingered just long enough to leave you blushing.

Your conversations became a blend of deep talks, deep connections and playfulness.... Hoshi, always the comedian, lightened the mood with silly jokes and goofy faces. He would sometimes try to pull you away from your studies, or overthinking a little bit and show his new dance moves or a choreo he just made with the boys.

"You're my favorite audience, Y/n. Your smile is the best reward," he admitted, punctuating his words with a tender kiss on your cheek.

......

Amidst the chaos of life, you both found solace in simple moments. One lazy Sunday morning, you both lingered in bed, wrapped in each other's arms. Hoshi traced patterns on your back, his voice, soft and filled with love. "You're my calm in the storm, Y/n. Let's stay in this moment forever." You can't lie, he is your only solace, your only medicine.

.......

Your apartment echoed with laughter and the soft sounds of shared secrets. One day after you just finished completing yet another assignment, Hoshi, with an impish grin, surprised you with a spontaneous pillow fight. Amidst the feathers floating in the air, he stole a kiss, leaving the both of you breathless and laughing.

At night, as you curled up on the couch watching a movie, Hoshi whispered sweet nothings in your ear. "I love you so much, baby. Sometimes I feel like i'm going crazy. You're the script of my love story, and every moment with you is a scene I never want to end," he confessed, sealing his words with a lingering kiss.

Your love story unfolded like a beautifully choreographed dance, with Hoshi leading the way. You found comfort in him. You were there for him when he was vulnerable, and now here he is, being your knight in shining armor. The apartment became a part off of a movie screen; romance, painted with stolen kisses, whispered promises, and the shared warmth of your laughter.

As you guys were snuggled up in your bed, trying to fall asleep, Hoshi held you close, his eyes reflecting the depth of his affection. "Life is a journey, love, and I'm grateful you're my companion. You're the strongest person I know, y/n, and I would die without you." he declared, sealing the sentiment with a passionate kiss that left no room for doubt.

--------------------------------------------------

I hope you liked this babes!!<3 Take care!

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen reactions #hoshi #seventeen hoshi #hoshi imagines #seventeen oneshot #kwon soonyoung #kwon soonyoung imagines #kpop fanfic #kpop fluff #kpop imagines #kpop #seventeen x reader #hoshi x reader #hoshi x y/n #hoshi x you #minors dni

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fablepaint · 3 months

Note

First off, congratulations on your help with Lackadaisy!✨️✨️✨️

Second, I've been practicing with the Lackadaisy style using nothing but traditional art (paper and colored pencils), and I'm nervous about using digital art for the first time😓

I've been procrastinating with practicing digital art for years, and now I'm ready to get started!✨️✨️✨️

Got any helpful tips or advice for drawing Lackadaisy characters with digital art?🤔

Also, I have ADHD and I'm Autistic so trying new things takes time with me😅

Well the nice thing about ADHD and Autism is when you get into something, you get REALLY into something. So if you are able to build a routine that allows you the freedom to explore the medium you want to jump into, then you'll steamroll ahead. If you're finding it hard to kick off that fixation so you can focus easier, try to pair it up with an existing fixation. Are you into every kind of horse? Okay then, draw an example of every warmblood, coldblood, and hotblood you can think of. Every pony, every donkey, every mule. Find some good photos and go to town. Piggy-backing off my existing fixations is how I can chain together a lot of information that I would otherwise struggle to absorb and recall fully.

As for helpful tips, you're already doing it. I think starting with traditional materials is a good way to build up good art habits without the convenience of infinite colors and the undo button. You'll make quicker decisions and be a little less precious about mistakes. Cuz you have to live with them IRL, so might as well keep going even if the work didn't turn out great. Maybe you'll learn something along the way?

A second tip, more specific to Lackadaisy, is breaking characters down into simpler shapes and seeing if you can build them back up again. Feel free to trace them to turn them into mannequins. Then, knowing the proportions of those mannequins, can you draw them doing other things?

And research. Tracy deep-dives into historical stuff like clothing, hairdos, jobs, jewelry, etc. If you immerse yourself in something you find interesting, you'll see it cropping up in your work occasionally. Look into art deco and art nouveau, two schools of design thought that have a thread running between them that goes solidly through the 1920s. Consider how that design philosophy might get integrated into clothing or furniture.

Other than that, digital specific? There's isn't much, just have fun with what program feels good to use. Don't go too nuts on color (you have a million colors, but a million colors does not a good painting make) and make sure the ergonomics of your digital art situation doesn't hurt you longterm. Take breaks for your hands and stretch. It's more strenuous than traditional. Maybe it's the lack of physical feedback or the way we tend to curl around our devices. Not sure, but I find it more draining than trad work.

#lackadaisy #question #answer #digital art #illustration

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dulcelovestoomuch · 1 year

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The Details of You // Mammon x Artist!reader

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Before coming to Devildom, you were in the worst art block you had ever been in. No lines seemed right. Shapes held no meaning. You couldn't breathe life or passion into anything you worked on. Torn paper decorated the floors, snapped pencils rested on your desk, and sketchbooks laid bare.

Then, things changed. You met the others and it seemed you could find beauty in everything. You could find inspiration simply by looking around.

However, nothing gave you more inspiration than the avatar of greed. He had somehow become a muse. The pages of every sketchbook had a drawing of him. Portraits of smiles and frowns, of anger and sadness, of excitement and embarrassment. Somehow you could perfectly remember these expressions, as if they were etched into your brain by Mammon himself.

Yet, it sometimes grew frustrating.

You could eventually perfect his features, but sometimes struggled with drawing him without reference. On your worst days, something was always off no matter how much you redrew him.

So, it was simple.

You decided to ask him.

"Mammon, I have a favor to ask," You worked up the courage to say, interrupting his "concentration" on studying.

"You're' asking me for a favor?" Mammon tilted his head, "Sure, but ya definitely owe me one!"

He gave your a playful smile; it could rival the sun in your opinion.

"Uh, sure," You replied, "I've been running out of inspiration lately. Do you think I could draw you?"

Mammon raised a brow, "Is that all, human? Go ahead! Who wouldn't want to draw the great Mammon?"

You suppressed the urge to fondly roll your eyes, grabbing a sketchbook and pencils from you desk. You nudged some books to side with your foot, before sitting front of him. You both sat on the floor; Mammon waiting as you flipped to a blank page in your sketchbook.

"Okay, so just stay still," You said, grabbing a 3H pencil. You began with drawing the face, getting the general shape of his face down on paper.

"Ya got it, human," Mammon spoke, "Won't move a muscle,"

A few moments rolled by, silent and calm. Your eyes would lock onto his face every so often. You didn't know, but it felt piercing to Mammon. You staring at him with such a strong, focused gaze was something he wasn't used to. He gulped, his face burning and body itching to move. So, the silence came to an end.

"So," Mammon said, "Why did ya want to draw me anyway?"

You shrugged, grabbing a darker pencil to work on detailing his facial features. "Just wanted to,"

He opened his mouth to say something more, but snapped it shut when your gaze focused on him again.

"Do you not want me to?"

Mammon flinched, cheeks reddening, "I didn't say that."

"Then, let me work!" You huffed, focusing back down on the paper.

Mammon frowned, looking away. You sighed, placing the sketchbook at you side before inching closer to Mammon. You gripped him by the chin, forcing him to look at you. You could see his skin turn red; his eyes shook as his mouth opened and shut like a fish.

"W-Whaddya think you're doing?" He said, looking everywhere but you.

"I told you to stay still," You said, "Keep looking at me,"

"O-okay, I got it," Mammon stammered, "Ya don't have to keep holding my face like this,"

"Mammon," You said gently, "What's wrong?"

"Wha... nothing's wrong." Mammon pulled away, "Nope, nothing at all,"

"Mammon..." You grabbed his face again. This time he managed to lock eyes with you, but his skin turned from a muted red to crimson.

"Ya just... never drew me before," Mammon explained, "I ain't used to it,"

You sighed.

He is as adorable as he is frustrating. You move back to your prior spot, grabbing your sketchbook and pencil once more.

"Fine, just stay still, okay? I'm almost done,"

Silence continued, only the sound of breath and of pencil on paper was audible in the room.

Having him as a reference made the details so easier to grasp. It make life come easier to the paper before you. You could finally draw every detail you forgot and improve upon every detail you remembered.

When you finished, you put the pencil down.

"Finally finished? It took forever!" Mammon grumbled, "Let me see it,"

You handed the sketchbook to him. He took it with a confident grin, only to freeze when he saw it.

"Does it look bad?" You asked.

Mammon's cheeks burned a cherry red, "I-I mean... it ain't too bad to look at. It's a drawing of me after all!"

He stared at it for a few more moments.

"Well, can I get it back then?"

"Nope!"

A loud tear filled the air.

Mammon tore the drawing out the sketchbook, before running out the room with a shout of "thanks!".

You stood up, running after him. The chase would be unsuccessful, as you yelled at him to come back, but couldn't keep up regardless.

However, when you would later go to his room, your drawing would be there framed. Mammon would blush, ranting about how because it was a drawing of him, he had to put it in his room.

It wasn't because that drawing showed how you viewed him. It also definitely wasn't because it was a drawing you did of him, with so much care and detail that it made his heart melt.

His stuttering and stammering continued on, before you simply gave him a kiss and pulled him back to your room.

Maybe you weren't so mad at him taking it.

Maybe now you had a willing muse.

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This was my first fic in the fandom, just wanted to do something quick and simple, hope you enjoyed! (⌒▽⌒)☆

#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me mammon x you #obey me mammon x reader #obey me mammon x mc #obey me shall we date #artist!reader #Obey me mammon x artist!reader #obey me mammon fluff #obey me mc #shall we date mammon #mammon x reader #mammon x mc #omswd mammon #omswd mammon x reader #gender neutral reader #mammon x gender neutral reader #new to tumblr #dulcelovestoomuch

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0rb0t · 1 year

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Don't mind me, just talking about Shadow as being on the autistic spectrum, and how his portrayal in the games and anime (before 2010s era) reflected this even if it was never outright stated.

(TIME FOR A CHARACTER ANALYSIS ABOUT SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG)

When I was in high school, I struggled a lot in social situations, I'd go completely stiff and just watch people. I had a "resting bitch face", I never really could have conversations and seemed to just fixate on things. I'd make observations that irritated people. I'd ask "why" a lot. (Asking why or even asking 'obvious' questions seemed to make people think I was questioning their judgment, or that I was challenging them. But no, I just didn't understand and wanted clarification. I still run into this a lot and I wish people would stop assuming I have ulterior motives. I just wanna understand stuff better cause it doesn't connect for me. Even if it seems obvious. I'm the genius that asked my mom why she was crying at her dad's funeral when I was 11. It's not that I didn't understand why Grandpa was gone, I knew he passed away, but it hadn't really landed for me, and my brain registered my mom's sadness before it registered the why.)

I didn't like small talk (still don't) and would rather every interaction have a specific purpose. You'd never catch me at a party and I didn't think drinking or drugs looked fun or interesting. The act of rebelling didn't interest me either. The few interests I did have were something I'd always go back to, and I couldn't function without them. (For me, drawing has always been a huge part of my life and if I didn't have a pencil or pen and paper, then I couldn't hear. I know, very weird. If I were doodling or just even had my sketchbook open, I could study a lot easier. In High school, my teachers started telling me to put the sketchbook away, and my grades plummeted because my attention did, too. Trying to tell them just kind of led to the same old "well everyone else can't doodle so you can't either". I wasn't in any of the special ed stuff because I guess I masked too well.)

Sonic 06 and Sonic X have the same characterization for Shadow, especially in Japanese, and I think that's honestly the best he'd ever been-- he's quiet, he's reserved, he observes and he doesn't like to "waste time". Not because he's edgy, not because he's a jerk or too serious, but because he struggles in social situations and he's more introverted. He doesn't want to be the centre of attention, he doesn't enjoy any of that. Shadow also behaves like an adult, and I'm sure a ton of us on the spectrum have heard that before, that we're very mature for our age. In reality, we can't relate with our peers and have very fixated interests that don't really expand to other things. Limited interests and we just wanna do stuff tied to that. We know so much about that one thing or those things, but those things won't get you ahead in school. Unless you're LUCKY and your fixation is math, oy vey! (My fixation was etymology. I loved learning and knowing where words came from. Useful for 2 seconds in English class, quickly loses its usefulness in a skill-oriented world.)

I don't even think he's naturally boastful, at least he wasn't since SA2 (when he was an antagonist), but Sonic brings out a competitive side in him. Sonic brings out the childhood-self that he lost to trauma and being sealed away. Shadow never got to be a normal kid/adult. He has always had expectations placed on him. I think Sonic really brings out a side of him that even surprises himself. It's why he will even say very often "What am I doing?" or "This is such a waste of time!" but he won't STOP… Because he's having fun and doesn't know how to describe his own feelings. Shadow's the type who'll say "I'm fine" no matter what state he's in when you ask if he's okay. My spouse is like this actually-- I can often tell when he's feeling down, but he doesn't know how to describe emotions beyond functional things like "i'm healthy" or "i'm unhealthy", so he'll say he's fine even if he's having a melancholy day. I struggle with understanding my emotional responses, but not necessarily identifying them. A lot of people on the spectrum do struggle with identifying their emotions beyond empirical things. "Do I feel sick? No? then I'm fine" Shadow is exactly like this. And because his expression is so neutral, sometimes intense, he gets mistaken as being angry or too serious. In reality, he's just standing there. He's not gonna expend energy smiling when he's got nothing to smile about. Why force yourself to emote for people? Especially if it feels unnatural.

Another thing about Shadow being autistic is if he's got nothing to say, then he won't say it. If he wants to leave, he'll leave. Good luck stopping him! But for many actual people it's not an option to leave. We can't just teleport out or skate at lightning speeds like he can, so we have to just sit there and do little coping or self soothing methods to keep ourselves in the moment and calm. We don't often see Shadow stimming in traditionally understood ways, like lip biting or rubbing his arms or fidgeting with his fingers-- but he often stands with his arms crossed. This CAN BE a stim. Feeling the weight of your arms on top of each other, it allows for you to be aware of your own body. I fold my arms a lot in public, because I'm usually playing with the hem of my sleeves, or I'm rubbing my arms or squeezing them. Shadow doesn't seem to do any of that but he's rarely seen without his arms folded.

When his arms aren't folded, he stands so still and just stares at people. He looks completely out of his element. He doesn't seem to have a relaxed stance--until the anime, where he's shown standing with his hand on his hip. Rouge also does this, leading to the popular headcanons that Shadow is unintentionally imitating Rouge-- his masking leads him to identify the most 'normal' person in the room and copy their behavior in order to blend in better. Unfortunately it rarely, in my experience, leads to people NOT thinking I'm weird. Sometimes I'll even start imitating speech patterns or accents and BOY. I don't even realize I'm doing it until it HAPPENS. So embarrassing. But Shadow absolutely imitates everyone around him. We can see him do this even as far back as Sonic Heroes--that scene where he's nodding or shaking his head to whatever Rouge is saying. The scene where Sonic starts getting competitive and Shadow starts kind of imitating his posture and his way of speaking to become competitive with them-- I don't even think he realizes he's doing it. But it also makes sense with his NAME.

His name is Shadow. I think of Peter Pan, where Peter's Shadow can sometimes get away from him. Usually it does everything he does, but sometimes it gets away and does its own things, and Peter has to catch it. Wendy sews the shadow back on in Hook. I think Shadow's name is referencing that as well, that just like a shadow, he mimics those around him. He's watching over them, but also copying them. Learning to blend in.

Another moment I adore is in SA2 (and Sonic X) when Amy Rose hugs him from behind. According to the 2010s era and early IDW, you'd have expected Shadow to push her away or yell DONT TOUCH ME or whatever. But no, he actually just goes REALLY RIGID and doesn't even say anything. It isn't until Amy realizes her mistake that Shadow turns around to look at her, smiling like 'What are you doing???' But in Sonic X, they changed this scene further into autistic territory--

Shadow doesn't even TURN to her. He goes rigid, yes, and his eyes widen and he just stands there looking towards the audience like 8| He's completely OUT OF HIS ELEMENT. He prepared for the mission, NOT to deal with random people HUGGING HIM. He's probably not been hugged since Maria over 50 years ago. We don't even know if Maria hugged him much because Shadow has always seemed pretty touch-averse. I love GIVING hugs and I love receiving hugs but only from people I'm REALLY close to. I don't even like getting hugs from extended family. My spouse? VERY touch averse. He'll get hugs from me but hugging and touch are just not his thing. Shadow is not a huggy person, but he does tend to hold hands.

We know he grabbed and held Maria's hand, running with her-- but we never actually saw that until Sonic X (2003) he can be seen running with her away from the military, and he's holding her hand as he leads her. In Shadow the Hedgehog, Maria often grabs Shadow's hand when telling him things. This is also a grounding method to bring the person into the moment. For me, I feel like I can focus better on what my spouse is saying to me when he holds my hand and it's crowded or busy. Even in our home, if he wants to tell me something, I recommend that he hold my hand or touch my arm so I can focus on him better. This happens with Shadow.

Sonic doesn't tend to hold peoples' hands. In Sonic X he usually just picks people up, but we do see him grab Elise's arm in 06 and run with her. But holding hands? Not really his thing! Shadow does do it more often though. In Sonic X S3, in the episode, Molly's Dream, Shadow's immediate way of leading Molly away from danger is to grab and hold her hand. He even keeps holding her hand until she lets go. It speaks to me the sort of childlike behavior he may still be exhibiting, but not that I'm trying to say that autistic people are more like children. From my experience on the spectrum, I am more childish than my peers. I still react like a kid might to things, and I don't really think like an adult is expected to. I am mentally behind my peers as well, I think my emotional maturity is lower? But it's hard to measure that without a doctor. It's not just about laughing at fart jokes or knowing to pay bills, it's like, how I problem solve is more creatively aligned with kids than it is adults. This is both great and terrible, depending on the situation. A situation that requires math and stuff cannot be solved my way. A situation that involves encouraging kids to try again or be nice to each other, well it's very useful because I can communicate with them on their level (I was a teacher in South Korea for over half a decade, my brain was great for being a teacher but not great for other things).

I think Shadow really gets misread as a mean guy a lot, but he really isn't. I also don't really enjoy the headcanons that imagine him as very outgoing and whimsical when he was on the ARK, and I especially don't like headcanons that infantilize him-- I really don't like headcanons where people infantilize autistic people. We've seen Shadow when he loses his memories a few times. In Heroes, but also in S3 of Sonic X-- his personality is still the same. He's still reserved, he's still quiet, he still struggles in social situations and prefers getting to the point rather than dilly-dallying. I'd argue that he was exactly like that before the incident on the ARK, too. It's just that the incident caused his inner peace to be destroyed. His precious person, Maria, was no longer around and he lost everything all at once. He doubled down on the one thing that made sense: Revenge. But even after all of that was sorted out, he's not gonna just magically be a different person. He's still reserved, he's still serious, he's still "get to the point". If he played FFXIV, he'd only focus on main quests, and never do side quests. He'd never spend money on cosmetics, probably. He's likely a person who values gameplay over story. If the game is broken or the mechanics aren't utilized well, that's probably more what he'd be fixated on than whether the story was good or not. He'd skip through dialogue because he reads fast, even if the dialogue is voiced (my spouse does this and it drives me nuts. SHADOW I BEG OF YOU PLEASE DO IT FOR ME, DISABLE THE VOICE ACTING IN OPTIONS SO I STOP HEARING THE FIRST UTTERANCE OF A WORD EVERY TIME U MASH THROUGH THE DIALOGUE)

Trauma affects people in all kinds of ways. I don't think all autistic people are like Shadow, because autism is a spectrum and no two people present exactly the same, although there will be similarities. Shadow's trauma happened at a time where he barely knew himself already, so that's why it was so easy for him to fixate on revenge, and then he'd be content with dying afterwards because he figured he had nothing left to live for. Finding out he was wrong was the best thing that could have happened to him.

I was really saddened when SEGA decided he was an edgelord who hated everything and had no friends because that's such a horrible read of this nuanced character. In my personal headcanons for Shadow, he's actually very into plants and flowers, because Maria loved the planet so much. And eventually he learns to love the planet because of nature. Shadow's never going to be a people person, in fact he probably still doesn't care much for people as a whole, but that doesn't mean he won't step up when they need his help. Which is why his line in Sonic 06 is still so poignant. "If the world chooses to become my enemy, then I'll fight like I always have." Basically, it really doesn't matter, I've made my choice, I know who I am now and I get to make those decisions. No one else will shake the foundations of who I am.

And because he knows who he is, he doesn't feel the need to repeat it and boast about himself. He's confident, not arrogant. He can be smug and competitive, but that's playfulness, not cruelty. He's quiet and may just straight up walk away while someone is mid-sentence, but that's not because he's evil or intentionally being a jerk-- it's just how he is. He needs to work on it if he wants to have friends, but his friends already understand him very well. They know that he's like that, and from what we saw in The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, occasionally they forget it's not personal. I'm happy to see them admitting "oh no, I completely misjudged you, I'm so sorry!" because it's been way too long since we've heard the main cast apologize to Shadow for assuming he was a big jerk on purpose.

Knowing the restrictions on how Shadow is written have been lifted, I'm really hoping we can get more of how he's meant to be, the reserved, socially awkward but well-meaning hedgehog we love. Autistic Shadow FTW!

(our experiences and headcanons

may differ, that's okay.)

#character analysis #character meta #shadow character meta #shadow the hedgehog #long post #sonic the hedgehog #sth shadow #shadow autism moments #he's just like me fr fr #sonic headcanons #shadow headcanons

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age-of-play-i-say · 1 year

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Daddy's Plush Replacement, pt. 1

A big shoutout to @justpottytime for the inspo, hope you like it!

"I know, Peanut, but it's only for one night," Daddy invokes my name in littlespace, and I drop like a stone.

No longer the independent, loving partner who is handling a brief separation with a stiff upper lip, my eyes immediately well up.

Daddy's baby isn't meant to be resilient or supportive, and why would a baby hide their emotions? Sometimes when Daddy's having a hard time getting through to me when I'm big, he'll remind me that I have the option to be his good baby, rather than try to people-please for him. This headspace helps me receive his love and support without my hang-ups. I stop stone-facedly re-organizing his travel stuff on the coffee table and curl into a seated ball on the couch. The tears begin flowing immediately, sniffles and howling sobs soon follow.

Daddy drops on the couch beside me, tugging my legs over his lap and leaning me into his chest. He expected this, but his heart still aches at my distress. Still, he takes pride in my vulnerability with him. He understands that all of this reaction is based on my trust in him. I hiccup and he chuckles kindly and kisses the top of my head. His hand wraps around my back and he lightly circles his fingers up my spine.

"My Peanut," he murmurs softly in my hair, "I know it's scary, I know," he rocks us both gently back and forth on this stationary couch, tracing soothing circles on my back.

Already, my chest is less tight and it's getting easier to draw breath. Daddy hears my sobs die down and pats my back firmly to make sure I'm not dissociating out of my emotions. I'm not, I don't dissociate much anymore now that our dynamic is so secure. Having my needs met is truly changing me for the better, and I love him so much for that. I raise my head to see him.

"There's your sweet face!" Daddy grabs a handful of Kleenex and gently wipes my cheeks, "Daddy has a present for you, for being so brave about your night without him! Wanna see, Peanut?"

I nod, childishly distracted. He takes my hand and we head to his study, where he works from home most days. Every month or so, they need him in the city for a presentation and normally this is a day trip.

For those outings, I've always stayed big, not comfortable being alone in littlespace. As soon as he arrived home, however, I'd drop intensely, requiring a lot of care and attention. Daddy loved giving me that attention, but it was an intense drop for both of us. He'd been suggesting I stay in headspace while he's away for awhile now; making the point that if I stay connected with my needs during his absence, having him meet them wouldn't feel like such an emergency when he arrives.

And this time he's going overnight. His presentation is early in the morning and his colleagues want to meet ahead of time, so driving into the city and staying in a hotel is best.

I have shied away from staying Little in the past, terrified that I'd feel that empty ache in my chest, spoiling my headspace. I saw his point, but I didn't know how to stay Little without his voice, his hands, his smell. Knowing Daddy isn't there when my mind iss fuzzy and simple had sounded like punishment to me.

He stops, beaming in the doorway, gesturing for me to enter.

The daybed is turned down with my favorite pillows and blankets and my little nest under his desk has been pulled to the center of the room and sports a TV tray laden with dry, toddler snacks and sippy cups. The DVD player is set up and already playing cartoons on mute. Around the rest of the playpen are stim toys and all my plushies.

He's glowing with pride while I take everything in, wide-eyed. My heart flutters and I turn to face him.

"Thought it might help you stay Little if you have a safe space. And I don't want you walking around the scary apartment all alone at night." He is carefully reading my expression, making sure his instinct to encourage this headspace is landing with me.

I think it over. "wha'bout potties?" A trip down a dark hall would certainly require me to be Big again.

Daddy points to my little bee potty in the corner, with a new basket next to it. From here, I can see the diapers poking out of the top and my breath catches in my throat.

"I've thought of everything, Peanut."

I want this. I want to stay Little. I wriggle excitedly and make to run to my playpen before Daddy catches me by the waistband and pulls me into a hug from behind. I giggle and squirm against him.

"I have one more surprise for you, baby, and once I show you, I'm gonna get going, okay?" He steps forward, guiding me in front of him. We stop in front of the bed, and I finally see it.

An enormous plushie head pokes out of the duvet. A teddy bear's head. I pull the duvet down to reveal the shirt Daddy's worn as pajamas all week, wrapped around a massive teddy bear. The teddy was huge, around Daddy's size or even bigger, considering how the t-shirt fit.

Daddy grins at my astonishment, leaning around me to pull the duvet down the rest of the way. I gasp. Teddie's strapped up, my favorite thick dildo proudly jutting out from a harness.

"I got you a playmate, Peanut!" Daddy's arms withdraw from my sides, and I faintly feel him place a kiss on my temple, "As a special treat for being so good, I made sure his cock is a bit bigger than you're used to."

Wordlessly, I yank my pants off and scramble to Teddie, curling into his plush side and kissing the soft fur of his neck and the collar of Daddy's shirt. Daddy's scent fills my nostrils. My little nipples go hard and a sticky heat pools in my undies.

I sigh dreamily and flip to straddle Teddie's huge plush thigh, trapping his silicone cock between our plush bodies. I shiver happily and hover blissfully before grinding on his thigh, snapping my hips back and forth.

Daddy reappears above me, jacket on and keys in hand. He's radiating joy, thrilled that his little one has taken to his 'baby sleepover' plan so quickly. He wraps an arm around my waist and guides my little hips to slow way down and press in, grinding my little tdick so firmly into Teddie.

"Okay, baby, just a few more details about your space," he stills my hips, letting me loose enough to bounce, but not to grind, "Daddy will be back by 11am, if you need to leave little space, just leave and close the door, I'll take care of everything else."

"But if you stay," he breezes along, "just do your best not make potties on Teddie, okay? He's a little hard to clean."

Wordlessly, my eyes flick to the diaper basket and back to Teddie I nod, undies even stickier all of a sudden while my cheeks turn pink. He lets me go, tapping my bottom with his open palm to restart my grinding.

"Love you, Peanut! Make sure you check Teddie's tail later for a special surprise." He turns my ocean sound machine on, having moved it from our bedroom. Daddy's thought of everything.

He lingers in the doorway, heart full at the sight of his baby pleasuring themselves. He feels his cock stir. For a fleeting moment, he feels jealous of the night Teddie gets to have in his place. He shakes the silly thought out of his head and silently wills himself to leave.

With this, the door to my new playroom closes softly, and a few moments later, the front door locks faintly.

I don't hear any of it. Glassy-eyed and slack-jawed, I'm facedown on Teddie, breathing in Daddy's musk and humping my little brain away, banishing it until Daddy's return.

#maple writes #maple speaks #justpottytime insp #dd/nb #dd/lb #diapers - just a hint #and #plushie love!

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blond-jerk-tourney · 5 months

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Champagne Bracket: Round 3, Poll 1

Propaganda from submitters Under Cut

Yoshiya "Joshua" Kiryu

He’s a bitch and a hate (love) him. I will now quote him below: "Sigh... I don't do the whole sweating thing, Neku." "Very impressive, Neku. Show those fifth graders who's boss." "Who needs other people's values? It's easier to just live by your own rules." "Oh! I can't say I'm particularly interested, but... I'll go ahead and ask, for the sake of convenience. Do you have a name?"

Smug asshole. Always playing mind games with the player character. Has many secrets but never shares them. Also did a bunch of spoilery shit.

Byakuya Togami

Very elitist, constantly calls others "commoners", talks about how he is gonna kill someone and get out of the killing game, hangs up a corpse and writes a message with their blood on the wall because he already knows the murderer but wants to see who is smart, complains the other students left him out even though he made sure to tell them every time that he wants nothing to do with them, pretty sure he screams in the 4 chapter " How can you know something I don't know?!", the only reason he doesn't qualify as a villain is cus he doesnt kill someone and in the end works with the rest of the survivors. He also constantly wants the protagonist to tell the rest what he knows

he's mean and self-centered and sees himself as above everyone else.

such a cunt 😭 doesnt eat breakfast w everyone and spends all his time in the library. (also he tampered with a crime scene but spoilers)

His title is literally, get this, "ultimate affluent progeny" Fucking look at him /hj Treats everyone as inferior in every way, even when they're trying to solve a murder he goes "how did YOUUU figure this out before MEEE???? >:0" Constantly has an "Me vs. Them" mentality about everything so he feels the need to prove himself to be superior - Messes with crime scenes because it would "make them more interesting" (purposefully incriminating someone else, who he didn't like) Actual quotes by him: "I'm only here to get breakfast. I have neither need nor desire to talk to you. Now withdraw." "You're like a child lost in the woods, you know that? A total waste of space." "You know, I still just can't believe it... That an uneducated, brain-dead, useless piece of garbage like you has survived this long." "You have only yourself to blame—you came to me with your tragic little story. I didn't ask you to. This is the real world, not some romantic fantasy fairytale."

This rich mf… He spends the entire game being a snobby, condescending, uncaring asshole. He becomes relatively nicer by the end but never stops being a dick. He also desecrated a corpse once for funsies. He’s also stupid but he doesn’t know that. I both like and hate him. It’s complicated.

He's an heir to a wealthy family corporation and he sure does act the part. He acts like he's better than everyone else and thinks they're not worth his time. He's just a huge asshole. (SPOILERS) He tampers with a murder scene just for fun and outs another student's secret alter, knowing full well it was irrelevant to the case. He also has a small breakdown about being wrong in another trial. By the end, he becomes a bit more likeable and kinda a tsundere that pretends like he doesn't care about the other survivors (but he totally does). Still very much an asshole though. He's a fucked up lil guy and something about him draws me to him. I would kick his rich bastard shins IRL given the chance, however.

He is emotionally detached from his classmates…

why you should vote byakuya "tell em naegi" thanks for watching like and subscribe

#champagne bracket #champagne bracket round 3 #polls #tournament polls #yoshiya kiryu #joshua kiryu #twewy #the world ends with you #byakuya togami #danganronpa #blond jerk tournament

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sovonight · 3 months

Text

since it's come up a couple times, i thought i'd just make a post about it! here we go:

i keep seeing you talk about this xan guy, but who is he?

xan is a potential companion in baldur's gate, the first game in the baldur's gate series. in the vanilla game, he has basic voice lines that play in reaction to commands, other companions, and the locations you're in. in fact, all of his voice lines can be viewed in the "quotes" section on the wiki; that's the extent of the content he has.

wait, i thought he was a full-fledged companion with friendship and romance paths? also, isn't he in baldur's gate 2?

he is, but only with the use of mods!

BG1NPC adds xan's banter, commentary, and romance path to bg1 (alongside a lot of other things, take a look at the readme!)

Xan's friendship path adds xan's friendship path to bg1

Xan BG2 NPC adds xan to bg2, as well as 2 romance paths, a friendship path, and a new soundset

Alternate Xan Soundset for BG2 restores xan's bg1 soundset to him in bg2, because nothing beats the original

if you want to romance him, make sure to play as an elf, unless you're ready for a bit of heartbreak ;( non-elves can romance him for a bit in bg1, but at one point you'll be forced to break it off.

i'm interested in playing the series, but where should i start?

i've broken it down here!

do you have any other mod recs?

i still play with the original (non-ee) games, so a lot of my mods are just widescreen fixes & bug fixes that are already covered in the ee games. but one list i have on hand is glittergear's bg2 mod recs!

why don't you like xan in bg2?

spoilers ahead, but:

i don't agree with his characterization and the execution of his romance paths as a whole

his bonded bg2 romance is worse than his bg1 romance, and intimacy with him almost always involves sex now, when it didn't before

he's been made ridiculously old

he's out of character, and many of his reactions are just odd

i don't agree with his death, and here's more paragraphs why

bonded xan is too ready to serve goddess!charname, when based on past behavior i'd think he would have a firm stance against it

his player-initiated dialogue options are poorly thought out

he was altered to have proficiency in darts instead of slings. darts fucking suck, why would you do this to him

his behavior would hurt radri, a lot

the list goes on

why are you still drawing/writing about him in bg2, then?

i love xan and radri together, i can't just write him out of bg2

😔 i can fix him 😔

but you think xan in bg1 is perfect, right?

not totally, i've always felt like his romance was biased in favor of one personality type

he is SO ace-coded to me, but his author clearly had a different vision for him

there's more, but they're all minor nitpicks compared to my complaints about him in bg2

you've complained a lot about him, so what do you even like about xan??

he's just so ridiculous, in the best ways

he can be snippy and dramatic, but also so kind

i love his romance in bg1

i enjoy his habit of carrying charname for romantic gestures, even though radri is like 200 lbs with light armor, and he's, what, 130 lbs sopping wet? i know, he was probably written with an elven waif of a charname in mind, but it's almost sweeter to think of him going out of his way to make it happen

you keep mentioning radri, but who is she?

my gorion's ward, my bhaalspawn, my charname, my beloved protagonist

she's like the kicked puppy to xan's pathetic kitten

here's an introduction, but honestly, it's easier just to read about them

why do you like the series, but not baldur's gate 3?

baldur's gate 3 has next to nothing to do with the series and should've been named something else

i was disappointed by it when i did play it

there's a sexual overtone over the entirety of the game

i'm tired of romances that put sex first

it's impossible for me to relax and enjoy the game

again, it's a really horny game

i'm just way too ace for it

bg3 overtakes all search results when trying to search for information on bg1 (which, being titled baldur's gate, doesn't get the benefit of a number to set it apart from the other games). sure, filters exist, but that doesn't change the fact that an era of easy information retrieval is over

what do you think about the references to xan in baldur's gate 3?

i want to die

i would rather kill xan myself than let bg3 touch him

it's a small mercy that he wasn't cursed with an actual cameo

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yesimwriting · 2 years

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could u do something about stu being sweet w the reader after something making jokes but she’s being sensitive and he realises she needs sweetness from him

ofc i can!! i love stu sm, even though the oldest daughter of an immigrant household in me would fr be fighting with him every two seconds lmao

also part 5 of final girl is coming, she's just big😭 and my homework levels are insane and i don't want it to feel rushed, and these drabbles/fics are easier to get out during weeks like this!! but i'm working!

warnings: bit of toxicity tbh (expected tho lol), mentions of Billy bc they're a matching set in my mind lol, but it's brief and his role in the relationship is pretty open I think, pinch of manipulation, cheesiness lol

----

Sometimes the way you care about people gets under Stu's skin, like a bug bite that he can't scratch because it's on the inside.

He doesn't hold it against you, or at the very least, he really tries not to. But sometimes, when you get like this on the behalf of other people...

Stu lets out a low sigh as he shoves his hands into his pockets. When he first realized that you had locked your window, he had briefly tried to not jump to worst case scenario. Maybe you weren't that mad, maybe the early fall draft kept blowing the window open, or maybe you were out with Sidney and Tatum. But no, the tightly shut window was intentional.

After knocking on your front door and being greeted by your mother, Stu had learned that you had just been in the kitchen, complaining about being bored.

"You're actually that mad at me?"

At the sudden intrusion, you snap your head back, the chair in front of your desk moving back slightly with the motion. Your panic lasts for less than a second and is quickly replaced by a small sigh and an eye roll.

"Stu, you nearly gave me a heart attack." It's not the first time that you've scolded him for that. Despite his typical energy and tall frame, he can maneuver like a cat when he wants to. "I-I locked the window, how are you even in here?"

He leans against your doorway, angling his head so that he's looking at your dresser instead of at you. There's something about your room that's just so you. It's comforting and sometimes overwhelming if he hasn't gotten off in too long.

He could spend an entire afternoon looking through your drawers and sampling your perfumes and lotions. He actually did that one Friday you slept over at Tatum's.

Stu shifts his gaze, his eyes meeting yours. You're trying to be harsh, he can see it in the slight draw of your eyebrows. It's endearing, especially with the stubborn almost pout of your lips. Sometimes when you're mad all Stu can think about is kissing you.

"Your mom told me to go ahead and let myself into your room," he mumbles, pushing away from the doorway as he steps entirely into the room, "You might be mad at me, but she's not."

Your eyes narrow a little at that. You know that Stu knows exactly what he's doing. "Well, she shouldn't have." You scratch the back of your wrist, trying your best to avoid Stu's gaze. "I'm doing homework."

"She said you were bored."

"History homework tends to do that."

Stu takes another step forward. You move your hand, gripping the back of your desk chair. When it comes to staying mad at Stu, physical distance is your only ally. The closer he gets, the less your brain functions.

"You said your history homework wasn't due until next week." Another step forward, the skin over your knuckles strains. "You can't be that mad at me." He continues to walk further into your room until he's so close to your desk chair that he has to turn his head down to look at you. "Let's just watch a movie or something. I'll let you pick."

His piercing gaze cuts straight through you. You can barely breathe. You drop your gaze in order to be able to get your thoughts out. "No, I said I wasn't talking to you."

Even in your own ears your words sound weak. Stu, already feeling his victory, reaches forward. He takes your chin between his pointer finger and thumb, tilting your head up so that he's inescapable. "All of this over a few things I said to Randy? I was joking, he knows I was." When your frown doesn't go away, Stu lets out a sigh, "If it means that much to you, next time I see him I'll give him a joint or something and we'll be even. Promise."

You lean back, pressing your spine into the side of your desk. "It's not really about Randy, y'know." You inhale, thinking through your words carefully. Stu takes your reproaching well as long as you don't cross any invisible lines. "You can't just say what you want about people. It hurts their feelings, and you might forget about it after a second, but that person doesn't."

Stu blinks, an oddly uncomfortable feeling settling in his stomach. You genuinely care so much about how other people feel. Everyone. Even people you don't know.

Thinking about it too much makes him uneasy. It makes him feel like anything he feels for you is so much more than anything you could ever feel for him. You consider everyone's feeling, he can only bring himself to worry about how you and Billy are feeling.

He forces himself to back away from you. Stu moves to sit on your bed. Safe distance. The thought is mainly subconscious but that doesn't stop it from rolling in his stomach. He likes to think that he wouldn't actually hurt you over something this small, but he refuses to take the chance when it comes to you. Even more so when Billy isn't around as some kind of silent assurance.

"I thought that the other woman was supposed to be less of a pain in the ass. You're cute, sweetheart, but at least Tatum knows when to drop something."

Out of all the things he could have said, that stung the most. And he knows it. Your relationship exists in a world of in-betweens. You didn't like the idea of being some kind of side piece, especially the side piece to one of your best friend's boyfriends. But you guys never figured out how to stay away from each other.

Stu had spent so much time swearing to you that things were different than they looked. He promised time and time again that his real feelings are for you, that you were it for him, and that he couldn't just blow off Tatum for the sake of the group. With everything going on, with Sidney still grieving, it'd be selfish to risk it all over feelings.

By keeping your thing together secret, you were protecting everyone's feelings while still not breaking your own hearts.

But that single comment burned it all away. You were just starting to believe him, and now... "Really?" The word is pointed, but nowhere near as violent as you want them to be. "You really don't care about anyone's feelings but your own." Your eyes feel teary. "I'm such an idiot because I-I defend you when people say things like that about you, and I'm always thinking that it's just that they don't know you like I do. But they're right--you're--" None of the words that come to mind feel harsh enough, so you decide to just be honest, "You're mean."

Stu blinks as everything you've said settles into his chest. A rare, fleeting touch of a feeling some might have labeled as guilt stabs at him. He crossed a line, and now you’re looking at him in a way you never have before. And your eyes...fuck, your eyes are so wide and glassy. You're about to cry.

He had dealt with your anger before. Petty, teasing anger, sure, but still--anger. Stu could handle that. He knows what to do when you push him away and pout and even knows what to do when you curse at him. But this, this is so much worse than any of that.

You're more hurt than angry and Stu hates it. He hates that he doesn't know how to fix it. He hates that a part of him wishes that Billy was here, he'd be able to smooth this over and get you to stop looking like that.

"Not true," Stu finally manages, his voice nearly wavering at the shocking amount of honesty in it, "I care about someone's feelings."

You shift in your seat, rolling your eyes. "Yeah, your own." Stu watches expectantly as you squeeze your hands together on your lap. "You should go."

"No," Stu stands, "I'm not leaving you like this." Before you can register what's happening, Stu is by your side, placing a hand on your shoulder. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean it, I just--" He can't put it into words, and even if he could, he wouldn't be able to express it to you without making you want to call a psychologist. "I'm sorry. You know how I feel about you."

With a sigh, you look up at him. "Stu, go." You stand up, forcing him to let go of you as you start walking towards your bedroom door. "I mean it. Either go or I'm going downstairs and telling my mom I have a migraine, and she'll tell you to leave."

Stu's quiet as you take another step forward. You should have taken his silence as a warning.

You're about to walk out into the hall, but before you can make it, something strong catches you by the waist. You instinctually squirm, but Stu ignores that as he forces you down onto your bed.

A small yelp escapes your lips. You hear the door to your bedroom shut before you can sit up fully. "Stu!"

He's on you in a second, trapping you so that you're forced to stay on your back. If you were struggling to think before, being completely beneath Stu has made it impossible.

Stu's hand finds your face, his thumb soothingly moving across the apple of your cheek. "I didn't mean it." That was true. Tatum is just a part of the plan now, and an occasional lay. But you--you're his first and final thought each day. You're everything, more than you'd ever understand. "You're it for me. No matter what."

You bite your tongue, fighting to not give in to the way he's looking at you. His eyes are pure adoration. "You said that before, and look at how quickly you changed your mind. Since I'm so annoying and I have no interest in being 'the other woman' as you put it, go away."

He doesn't want to talk about this anymore. It's making him feel something that he can't name. He doesn't want you to be mad or upset, he just wants things to go back to normal.

Stu slips his hand across your cheek so that his fingers can twist themselves into your hair. Before you can question him, he presses his lips to yours.

The kiss feels different than the normal way he touches you. It's persistent despite the patience behind it. The way his mouth moves against yours is vulnerable and the way he swipes his tongue against your barely parted lips is pleading.

Your hand instinctively find his chest. You push against him with lethargic force. Stu pulls your bottom lip in between his teeth. A breathy sound that's equally surprised as it is needy escapes you. He takes that as his opening to deepen the kiss.

Just as you start feeling out of breath, Stu pulls away, resting his forehead against yours. I love you.

The thought comes so suddenly Stu has to bite his tongue hard to keep from blurting it out. It's not like he's never felt that towards you, but this is the closest he's ever come to blurting it out.

It's instinct to shut your eyes as you focus on your breathing, but you can still feel his eyes on you. You feel him move, but before you can say anything, Stu starts kissing down your cheek. You don't open your eyes until you feel teeth grazing against your jaw.

"Stu." It's supposed to be a warning.

His hands move, forcing the oversized shirt you're in to ride up enough to expose your hips. Stu squeezes the newly exposed skin as he starts to kiss down your neck. "Do you trust me?"

Yeah, after the way he's been acting, there's no way you're answering that. "There's no way I'm doing anything even remotely sexual with you after what you--"

He finds that one spot near your collarbone. Your breath catches itself in your throat. Stu moves, pushing your shirt up a little more. He kisses down your stomach. You're lost in bliss until you feel his teeth sink into the soft skin of your stomach.

You nearly jump out of your own skin. "Stu!"

Grinning at your tone, he rests his head against you, chin pressing into your hip. "What?"

You're desperate to hold onto your anger, but with the way he's looking at you? It's nearly impossible to not smile. "You're so weird."

"You love it."

Pressing your lips together, you pause to think. "I love it better than you being an asshole."

Not taking the bait, Stu squeezes your hips a little firmer, "I love that smile. It's your 'you-wish-you-were-more-mad-at-me' smile. I think that that's the smile I see the most."

Fondly rolling your eyes, you casually move your hand in order to softly comb your nails through Stu's hair. This is a cute game. "I love that my anger amuses you."

"I love when you do that thing with your nails."

You finally let yourself grin. There's just something about Stu when he's like this, all relaxed and touchy and content. "I love when I can tell you're happy."

"I love you."

Your hand pauses, still in his hair. There's no way you heard that right. "Shit," he breathes, hiding his face against the fabric of your shirt. "I said that out loud." Oh my god--you did hear that right. He just said-- "I was going to be romantic about it. I was going to take you out to that one hill where you can see all the lights from town, and then we were going to go to my place. And I was going to let you pick the movie, and I wasn't going to talk about it, even if you picked that really lame one you're always talking about."

Still in total shock, you blink, stiff beneath him. "I kinda like when you talk about the movies we watch." Stu, looks up, but you don't meet his gaze. "But that's not what we're talking about, so I um--" You shift awkwardly. "Did you mean it?"

Your rush of words come out jumbled, but Stu understands them regardless. "So much. I love you, and I'm sorry that I'm an asshole, but you're not--" He lets out a breath. His silence forces you to finally meet his gaze. "If you think the friend group and Sid can handle it right now, I'll go over to Tatum's right now and break up with her."

Stu's boldness nearly surprises him, because in that moment, he really thinks he might mean it.

Everything you want is hanging there, right in front of you. Every selfish fiber of your being wants to say yes. You want to send Stu off and have him back in your arms in less than an hour. Stu can see it, but he can also see the hesitance in your eyes. After all, you care so deeply about everyone's feelings.

"It-it wouldn't be right," you whisper, more to yourself than him, "Not that any of what we're doing has been right, but that feels meaner than it needs to be. To just completely dump her on a random Saturday night without starting to pull away to prepare her first."

"I'll start pulling away." He's glad to have something productive to latch onto. He could start to pull away from Tatum (like he hasn't already with all the time he spends with you) carefully. Not enough to get her to break up with him, just enough to ease you. He could play at that game until he and Billy finish their plans. "Really laying the ground work for a breakup starts next time I see her."

You nod absentmindedly, the excitement from his confession waning fast. You're retreating into that quiet version of yourself that comes out whenever you think too much about your arrangement.

Stu leans over, pressing a quick kiss to your side. "I think I might've already started because you're all I think about."

"Shut up."

He adjusts his hold on you, "I mean it." You still don't seem too convinced. "You can scold me as much as you want about being nicer to people or anything else. I'm in love you." You finally crack, a smile playing at your lips. "Which is something I've said three times now without you saying it back."

At that, your jaw playfully drops, "Hmm...yeah, you have said it three times now. Weird."

The glint behind Stu's eyes is dangerous. He pulls himself off of you with no warning. You're too confused to do anything until you feel his hands on you. He moves his fingers swiftly, tickling you as you squeal and try to push him off. "What were you saying?"

Through fits of giggles, you manage to get out, "Th-that I'm--" You can barely breathe as you push against him. "That I'm in love with--with a--sadist."

At that, Stu pauses. "In love with, huh?"

"Unfortunately," you sigh.

Stu throws you an exaggeratedly offended look. "Rude. You're going to need to make it up to me."

Deciding to play along, you hum in agreement, "Let me guess. You have something in mind."

Stu leans down, placing a quick kiss to your lips. "You know me so well. C'mon let's go to my place and watch a movie."

#scream 1996 #scream imagine #stu macher x reader #stu macher #scream x reader #ghostface x reader #ghostface #x reader

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comicaurora · 1 year

Note

Sorry if this is a weird question but how long did it take for you to start making art you felt was good enough, at least at the time? I have a lot of ideas for projects I want to make but I'm slowed down by not quite being at a level I'm happy with for professional endeavours. Wondering if I should quit while I'm ahead and just hire an artist I like.

Hoo. Good question.

It's hard to keep track of, honestly. I think every artist is going to feel a degree of "this could be better" about anything they make, and if that's all you're keeping track of it can feel like no progress is being made - but in hindsight, I think "this could be better" means a lot of different things, and what it means for my work has changed over time.

One of my earliest art-related memories is having a very clear image in my head of a pencil sketch I wanted to make (a family portrait of some wizards, a mom and dad flanking a young daughter) and then being immensely frustrated that what I produced was a pale, inexpert shadow of that image. The starting point I was at was "this doesn't look right and I don't know why," and I stayed there for a long time, even as I got overall better.

The first time I remember trying and failing to emulate a specific cartoon style, it was the manga Steam Detectives - I'd mostly been exposed to newspaper comics and scientific illustration, so I had never seen that sharp-angled straight-lined manga style before. There was a liveliness to it I couldn't capture, and that frustrated me. At this point I could see what was wrong, but couldn't yet correct it - my unconfident pencil sketching wasn't going to produce the same kind of three-dimensionality and flow as the brush strokes used in the, in the same way that a traced figure can look strangely odd and off-balance because it's only mimicking the outlines. At this point I'd hit "this doesn't look right and I know why, but I'm not sure how to fix it."

At that point, practice was kind of the only solution - unconfident linework can only be improved by honing the muscle memory and confidence of the artist, which I didn't know at the time or do on purpose but ended up happening anyway, especially once I got going on the channel and was regularly doing dozens to hundreds of drawings per project.

I do remember the first time I thought "oh, that's actually better than I expected" - I had broken my clavicle and my right arm was in a sling, and my art teacher encouraged me to try drawing something with my left instead. I am very much not ambidextrous and my lines were spidery and shaky, but when I stepped back at the end, the thing I'd tried to sketch - a portrait of a regal-looking elf man - actually wasn't too bad. The muscle memory in my right hand was completely absent from my left, but apparently my basic understanding of shapes and shadows had come through and made something that got across the gist of what I wanted. That was the first time I felt "this doesn't look right, but I already knew that, and what it does do is actually pretty solid."

At some point in the process of cranking out channel illustrations, and later chibi character commissions, without even noticing I hit a baseline level of confidence in what I was doing. Certain things got easier because I was doing them a lot more. I stopped thinking about whether a facial expression was communicating exactly what I wanted it to, stopped spending long stretches of time trying to refine poses - because in those specific areas I was no longer experiencing "this doesn't look right and I don't know why." I'd draw a face, realize it could look angrier, redraw the eyes and brows to be angrier, then move on. I'd block out a pose, decide the leg didn't look right, redraw it, line it and move on. It wasn't that I was nailing everything first try, it's that I'd had enough time and practice to quickly diagnose what wasn't working and quickly try something else to correct it.

Instead, I was thinking "this doesn't look right and I don't know why" about other things. Trees, buildings, figure shading, fire, water, metal textures. I still didn't feel ready to do the comic in earnest, but I'd started doing digital illustrations of the characters and mock-up pages/covers, and I kept finding problems in the composition. It didn't look right and I didn't know why. If I didn't know why, I couldn't fix it. A lot of that process boiled down to redrawing stuff until it managed to look right, then trying to reverse-engineer what had worked about that. I'd accidentally draw the most perfect torso and try to figure out what magic combination of lines had made that work. And again, it was a slow process, almost unnoticeable from my perspective, because I just gradually stopped worrying so much about unsolvable artistic problems because the solutions had just arisen with practice and experience. The background looks wack - it's probably under-shaded, darken some corners to make it match the foreground. This texture looks off - probably needs some particle effects to help give it detail. Etc etc.

At present, I very rarely think "this doesn't look right and I don't know why." I still have moments of "this doesn't look right" - almost constantly, probably - but they aren't noteworthy because I've had enough practice improvising solutions that it turns into a brief experimental phase before I fix whatever was bugging me and move on. It doesn't mean it's perfect, it just means whatever problems or places it could be improved are either subjective choices that are fine either way, or small mistakes I don't notice at the time. The process of error-correction and bug-fixing becomes quick and painless enough that I hardly think about how I used to spend ages agonizing over something that was wrong that I couldn't make look right.

The point I eventually got to could probably be best described as "I could make this better if I wanted - do I want to do that?"

Making a comic like this, it's very important for me to consider the value of pouring too much into any one page. If I vastly overdesign anything, I'm going to need to keep up that level of design every time it shows up. If I drew every forest shot by hand-drawing every single tree I'd never get anything done. If something looks off and I know the solution would be more detailing and more texturing, sometimes I'll do that - filigree and particles and all that good sauce - but sometimes I'll just try a few things until I find a shortcut that makes it look fine to my eyes. Art can always be more polished, so that's not really a metric for completeness or ready-ness - I really do think the most helpful metric is whether you're regularly struggling because you can see something is wrong but you can't figure out what. If you consistently know what's wrong - or, more accurately and less judgmentally, what could be polished if you wanted to polish it - you're probably in a pretty good spot.

#asks #aurora #art stuff

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sincerely-sofie · 1 month

Text

It took me a minute to finally get my notes straight so I could answer this— I hope it was worth the wait! I’ll give some bullet points of tips I use to help boost my production speed in addition to the strategies I use to try to keep characters consistent. Let’s get into it!

First up: How I draw faster!

Note that these mostly apply to digital art, as that’s my preferred medium.

If your art program has them, experiment with brush stabilization levels. My hands shake really bad, especially while I’m drawing, so I put a lot of effort into finding a stabilizer level that works with my need to control lines while also smoothing out the tremors in my hands. It’s made it so much easier to draw lines like I want to, and therefore lets me move on instead of redrawing the same line over and over again.

Creating templates for your art helps so much— setting up things like canvas size, color profile, DPI, background colors and images like the paper texture PNGs that I love to use ahead of time helps me get drawing faster, while I’m excited and inspired! Similarly, having a naming system for your art files is useful for speed as well as finding and organizing old pieces easier.

Having premade color palettes of local colors for characters is also super helpful for speed, as well as keeping characters on model :>

Personally, I use a single brush for lineart and rely on the selection tool and bucket fill for coloring when I actually bother to color things in. My lines are pretty loose nowadays, and the same goes for when I color things— I don't abide exactly by the lineart I draw, and get pretty messy with the selection tool and bucket fill!

I simplify character designs as much as possible— the standard design of a sigilyph, for example, is pretty complex. But I made Sen a lot simpler (and also forgot the spikes on her torso in this panel. Oops)

As for keeping characters on-model…

I’m very flattered that you feel otherwise, but I actually don't keep characters very on-model between different drawings— just look at the different ways I've drawn Ark below— however, I'm improving over time as I become more familiar with how I want to draw the characters! A big part of my process of keeping characters on model is drawing characters over and over to familiarize myself with how they should look through trial and error.

Learning common angles and poses I will draw characters in is very helpful for making sure they look consistent. As a bit of a downside, though, it makes wonkier angles stick out like a sore thumb! Drawing Ark with his head slightly angled downward was really hard, and I don't think I communicated it that well here:

I try to have the characters broken down into as many simple shapes that fit into each other as I possibly can, like Twig’s head (circle + rectangle snout + angled rectangle horn) Ark's hair (that weird bangs shape) and Dusknoir's upper body (beanbag shape / slightly elongated circle torso, arms coming out of his frill that comes in a very particular arcing line). This makes it way easier to draw characters quickly and consistently, because I can learn those lines and shapes and get the motion of drawing them into muscle memory.

Also, knowing the ways characters emote is like knowing cheat codes. Giving characters things like a signature comedic expression of shock or grin that they make when they're happy are very helpful!

The biggest tip I can give on the topic of keeping characters on-model (at least without model sheets— model sheets are THE way to go. Don’t be like Sofie and neglect those pieces of gold) is really just to practice. Build up familiarity with the shapes and proportions of characters, get a feel for how your hand and wrist moves to get the lines right.

#creativity tips with sofie #art tips #drawing tips #drawing advice #art advice #stuff by sofie #sofie answers asks #(kinda)

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ninjapaste · 1 day

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dude your art is so GOOD!!! Do you take any classes or have any tips to share? that resource post you reblogged the other day was helpful but i've felt so stuck in my art. I don't know if you have anything u learned that just made something click for u or anything like that?

Tysm anon!!!👍

In terms of your questions, I apologise i advance for the long answer im about to give and possibly things you already know haha:

I guess in terms of what classes i take, Ive gone from GCSE to A level Art and design (Fine art), and both courses have helped me to learn the importance of observation studies.

However, its moreso all the art i practice in my own time that has played the biggest part in my art improvement journey. I adopted art as a big hobby around 2018, and really ever since then I tend to draw/create for myself every day, however big or small it may be.

I guess my first tip would be to indulge in a 'sketchbook' or space to work in freely, it could be any form but the importance is that its personal and can be picked up whenever. I find that having a sketchbook to draw in has really helped with productivity and creating new ideas. I think you can go into a sketchbook space with any mindset and it can work wonders, like for example if you wanted to focus purely on challenging yourself, you can do that! If you just, want to doodle without thinking, go ahead! After all, its a sketchbook for you and nobody else, so go wild!

My next tip would definitely be, when you are feeling stuck in art, to take inspiration from a wide range of different things be it in real life or on the internet, a building or a really cool tree, since I find it defintiely fuels the creation of new ideas/concepts that can provide a path out of that creative rut. I guess to an extent there may always be periods where you have that 'I have no idea what to draw!' Feeling, and thats okay! Sometimes its refreshing that helps the most. But I often see that the solution to being in a rut is usually REFERENCING, wether it be trying to accurately draw the anatomy of an arm or if I just saw a cool design/pose/style on Pinterest and i drew a bunch of wacky characters from it. In fact, I find that places like Pinterest or Resplash are such good resources to hone imagination and generally most art skills by looking at and drawinf from all the cool images (and get some of that inspo!). And if im not using Pinterest, im usually using an art book as reference! (The itsv and splatoon art book helped me so so much lol)

On the topic of REFERENCING, its mega important! Depending on imagination/memory feels pretty good at times but its always beneficial to have image references in your process when you find its good to have them. I woudl always recommend having a reference when drawing poses/expressions/anatomy because the more you use them, the more you learn about how an object like a face muscle, a torso or even light behaves and looks and the easier it is to draw/depict them.

The next tip is uh YOUTUBE, or any account/person who's art inspires you in particular. I found that certain channels like Ethan Becker, Marc Brunet, Marco Bucci and more have helped me the most to gain confidence in drawing and learning how to practice it better. Of course, theres a lot to learn from a plethora of other channels too, even ones that dont specifically promote themselves as teachers! Also, if theres a certain style/art approach or an artist that appeals to you, study it in any way you like! Analyse an artist's work or ask/find out about their personal process (or even watch a speedpaint/art stream)! Sometimes it can be a big inspiration booster and skill boost to do just that (plus the 'artist' could be any piece of media/thing too!! Like a game or something).

Ok ok last paragraph haha, on the topic of your last question. Thinking back, its hard for me to define any specific moment or thing that gave me a 'click' moment. Its more like a process of growth that starts with learning and understanding a new thing, then familiarizing myself with using it successfully/'correctly' by studying and practicing, so that eventually its like muscle memory or easier to use in my work.

Hope this helps!!! If theres anything else you want to ask, dont be afraid to dm or send another ask!!

#ask #answer #art #im still learning so much but heres all that i can give in its long windedness #theres stuff from like #less than a year ago that i would def redraw haha #but i guess most artists feel that way about some of past work #anywayy #listening to music while sketching away GOES HARD but that might jut be me

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queen-mihai · 5 months

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OK I've got a little time. Let me tell you about 7 dimensions because it's way easier than I think we're imagining. Fair warning though, I only have words, and like, extremely basic drawing skills, so you're going to have to bear with me.

In some cases people talk about how we "can only imagine life in 3 dimensions, and to imagine anything more would require us to completely blahbity blahbity whatever"

I'm here to defy that notion. And I'm bringing math with me. Don't worry, it's basic and super easy. I literally do not have the patience to write out big crazy formulae, although you could with this if you wanted to.

Now imagine a sphere.

You're on it, hanging out, usefully for me, this sphere looks like planet earth.

Now let's say you wanted to put yourself right there in Africa someplace. That's a sphere, so we're gonna need height, length, and depth so I know exactly where to put the little smiley face that's going to represent you.

Oops, we already have to think in FOUR dimensions, because we can't forget that we're not stationary in the universe. We have to include "time" which is a concept that will help us soon. I went ahead and calculated that for you so you don't end up in the vacuum of space. No worries.

But scientists all over are talking about 4 dimensions. How the heck do you magically get to 7?

Well because we're already operating in 7 dimensions and I can prove it.

We're gonna leave the pictures behind for now and I'm gonna tell a story.

You're at a party. You got some bad news earlier and got your friend to come out with you. He wasn't gonna come out, but heard the distress in your voice and changed plans. He wanted to play beer pong, so that's what the pair of you do. Now with our 4 dimensions of space-time, you can calculate your shot to make sure your friend drinks when your turn comes up.

Throw at the right height, the right angle, the right distance? Perfect. In like Flynn

I'm not drowning anyone in technical jargon am I? Didn't think so. This is about as hard as it gets.

OK so you make your shot and he drinks. Great job.

But let's back up. You'll forgive me a little time travel since this is an imaginary scenario.

Now it's earlier in the day. I mentioned you got some bad news. Well you just hung up the phone and you're considering asking your friend to attend the party with you. Let's say you don't.

Well now..I mean you can throw a million balls in a million cups, your friend is not going to drink.

He's not there.

And with that, we've introduced our other 3 dimensions.

Let's put them all up on the board

Length

Width

Depth

Time

Potential

Influence

Probability

7 dimensions. We know the first 4 so let's go back to our story for the last 3.

Potential: in every situation, there are a seemingly infinite number of possibilities. Let's call each possibility a "Potential"

You're at the party, you're aiming your throw.

Potential 1: you hit, he drinks

Potential 2: you miss, he doesn't drink

Obviously an asteroid could strike, but.. that's not likely. These are the main 2 we need to be worried about.

Influence: You Are the one throwing the ball. Your influence on the ball will affect...

Probability: the likelihood of that ball going into that cup.

The thing is, going back in time again:

If you decided not to invite your friend to the party, he wouldn't have come. The probability of "he drinks" drops to zero because *he's not there*

Just like the thing with time.

Go back to the phone call and you're on with him:

If you just invite him to the party, he will tell you he's thinking of skipping this time. Still a low probability that our situation with beer pong is going to happen.

If you tell him you really want him to come, then you're increasing the level of influence, but maybe not enough to change that probability.

But then you tell him "I got some bad news today and I just really need a friend" and suddenly the potential of being at that table throwing that ball and getting him to drink rises above basically zero.

And I hear the argumentative asshats already "Mihai you iDiOT! YoU'rE jUsT dEsCrIbInG sTuFf ThAt HaPpEnS"

Yeah that's the point. I told you there's no "Woo Woo" here.

You had a bad thing happen

You applied your Influence over your situation by asking your friend to join you which they would not have done without your bad news call.

Your friend attending the party opened up the Potential that you may play a game including cups and balls and drinking

Your friend exercised influence over the situation by asking if you wanted to play beer pong

Then when you started playing, you threw the ball.

You didn't throw it before the cups were set up, meaning you interacted with time as well.

ALL of those things had to line up, just for you to even HAVE a cup to throw at or even a ball to throw.

Had you or your friend not exercised influence, you would not have been playing

Had your influence not won your friend over, they wouldn't have come

Potential? The Potential when throwing the ball is mostly it lands in the cup or it doesn't. The ball doesn't turn into a blue whale or sprout wings and fly away. It lands in the cup or it lands somewhere not in the cup. Those are the Potentials with the highest Probability.

We can think of these new dimensions as new x, y, and z axes.

Our entire universe is the original x, y, and z. Imagine a marble lying on the floor.

It itself is moving through time, which will be your fourth dimension. Meaning if you wanted to touch a specific spot on that marble, you would have to touch where it IS and not where it was or will be. That's dimension 4.

Potential would be like pushing the marble to the side. Left, the ball lands in the cup. Right, it bounces off. That's dimension 5

Influence is your up and down. Pick up the marble, it's no longer in the same place. Let it roll down a hill, it's not in the same place. You act on the universe with your decisions, influencing events around you. Eat a bowl of Ramen? That's an Influence. Drive to a party? You are influencing the universe the entire way there, the entire way back, and every step you take at the party. Even if you just sit still and meditate, the universe is actively being shaped and changed by your presence in it. That's Influence. And that's dimension 6.

And the finally, the one we've been talking about the most. Probability. That's your "in and out". Your marble universe isn't flat. You're not just touching the surface. You can stick your tweezers all the way into the middle of it. And the wider an area you want to hit, the higher probability you have of hitting it. The more precise you want to be, the more difficult it is.

And this scales all the way up and all the way down. Because it's affected by EVERYTHING.

Magnetism exerts influence on things that have gravity. Radioactivity affects the probability of a material staying together or breaking apart. Your desire to stop reading this long ass post is, even as I write it, exerting an influence on my willpower to make it any longer. Meaning the probability of this getting more paragraphs is growing smaller and smaller, and will soon lead to the potential of it being posted. Which will lead to new Potentials that will pop into existence as people read this and go on to affect the universe in their own ways.

The old gods never went away. They are reading this post. The 7th dimensional beings were in the house the whole time. 😂😂😂

Anyway I ain't nobody and I wouldn't presume to know anything more than people who have studied the universe for their entire lives.

It's fun to think about though 🥰 love you. Hope you're having fun!

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